#theres so much more i could list but ill be here forever

[velvetwyrme]

oouuouua please make a follow up on the superhero pap x reader theyre one of my favorites also im excited to see tf fic from yuo

im glad you enjoyed it!!! i got a comment on it recently while i was thinking abt how to continue it and that seemed to click my brain into action LMAO

EHEHEHE hopefully! soon!! ive got a few things in mind but im also waffling over Really Starting because i have so many things ongoing but... auauugh the IDEAS plague me!!!!

also heres a sneak peek into my brain because im in the mood to chatter, but feel free to skip it if you so desire:

for Origin Story im LOOSELY planning any continuation/s to be kinda standalone stories all centered around a superhero trope (like the Origin Story ;]) because i think that could be fun to work with. i enjoyed writing some of the larger Undertale cast, something that i WOULD have liked to do in FF, except Edge and the MC in that are both pretty reclusive socially abfjfbdjdghkf,, oh well.

anyway. i have tons of ideas for the various tropes, so its really a matter of picking a place and Writing. i really want to feature more of Alphys in this because i love her dearly <3

as for TF fic... most of them are reader inserts unsurprisingly lmaooo but ive got a few non-reader inserts floating around there too. im kinda just throwin stuff at the walls of my mind to see what sticks, but heres a few of my draft titles for your perusing pleasure:

into the fire: noble-ish au with a human reader who is supposed to be gifted to one of the members of the household. reader makes a failed escape attempt torn bedsheet style and is saved :] inspired loosely by the visual novels i used to read/play back in high school LMAO. skeletiano, i will forever be sad i could not romance you.

between you, me and soundwave: reader writes rpf abt mechs on earth LMAO. i see people mention humans writing fanfic about Cybertronians in passing but i think itd be funny to put that at the forefront. extremely silly and low stakes fic. probably.

drift compatibility: mecha! pilot! au!! exists purely because i read 1 (one) fic about plugsuits and just went "hmnngh... mecha pilots are fun to imagine interacting with Cybertronians... also there's DRIFT compatibility... i can totally do some fucked up shit with that" and now it's spiralled wildly out of control because at some point i started thinking about Governments and Social Structures and got distracted with worldbuilding lol. i have many many many ideas and i can only hope i can string some of them together so I can EXPLODE it out of my brain either through writing or art. also theres smut that happens wayyyy down the line which ill probably end up writing first and posting separately LMAO

penance is a prison: my take on Titan AU but as a fic because my brain is so so full of thoughts abt this au. i'll probably just end up drawing a lot of these scenes instead but like. its there! partially written!! im emotions abt it!!!

self explanatory long title: human/borrower au constructicons/jazz/prowl poly. i love rare not-so-pairs a lot and im particularly fond of this set. also i just like thinking abt either jazz and prowl getting menaced by a bunch of tiny guys OR the opposite where a group of construction workers have two borrower roommates. this one is more just random idea dumps instead of a fic but still fun to think about LMAO

ALSO! MINI REC. while you wait for me to (eventually maybe) write TF fic, you should check out boostergoldishh's works on ao3 for some tasty tasty TF reader insert fics. im still planning on making a rec list but they updated today and im filled w/ much love for good writing.

and as a bonus if you got this far (thank you!!): the super secret draft chapter title for the next NEXT FF chapter because its pretty silly

if my cowriter sees this hi. ill share the doc soon but its pretty much empty, its just there to remind me whats coming next LMAO 👍

[dullweapons]

mother of all tag dumps inbound ..... i am not booping people cause theres like 30 tags lol

here is the page on my google site that lists them all ... i think ? may have missed someone but ill double check later

⸻  SHIP  : ayrin / sahar  ❤︎  you know you hypnotize me always !   ˎˊ˗

⸻  SHIP  : ray / grace ( hyliangrace )  ❤︎  you can be the match & i will be the fuse : boom   ˎˊ˗

⸻  SHIP  : ray / lyric ( lunarscaled )  ❤︎  bleed into my mouth so i may taste you forever ; leviathan  ˎˊ˗

⸻  SHIP  : ray / robin ( wolfvirago )  ❤︎  hold me in your arms & i die a little death so beautifully  ˎˊ˗

⸻  SHIP  : ray / octavo ( bransles )  ❤︎  but he fell in love with the fever & i'm on my knees in a theater .  ˎˊ˗

⸻  SHIP  : ray & ayrin  / link ( uneasedregrets )  ❤︎  city of stars ; never shined so brightly  ˎˊ˗

⸻  SHIP  : ray / volga ( volcania )  ❤︎  your blood like wine get me drunk & make me feel .   ˎˊ˗

⸻  SHIP  : ray / ghirahim ( flamboycnt )  ❤︎  let our love be a flame not an ember ! say it's me that you want to dismember !  ˎˊ˗

⸻  RELATION  : ray & link ( legacyshero )  ✦ no voice to speak of your suffering but i hear you now  ˎˊ˗

⸻  RELATION  : ray & nabooru ( gerudospiriit )  ✦ so if you need to be mean be mean to me . i can take it & put it inside me . ˎˊ˗

⸻  RELATION  : ray & bussaba ( topaz-adorned )  ✦ you with the dark curls you with the watercolor eyes ! ˎˊ˗

⸻  RELATION  : ray & gallilea ( vairuler )  ✦ im made of sugar spice kanekalon & cinnamon : me & my bestie are the sam like a synonym ˎˊ˗

⸻  RELATION  : ray & toba ( askganondorftobadragmire )  ✦ you take away this pain from me : the memories that haunted me  ˎˊ˗

⸻  RELATION  : ray & nabooru ( gerudosage )  ✦ oh she could have been a poet or she could have been a fool . ˎˊ˗

⸻  RELATION  : ray & miri ( somnium-led )  ✦ dear prudence won't you open your eyes ? look around … look around …  ˎˊ˗

⸻  RELATION  : ray & eilian ( somnium-led )  ✦ im sick of apologies from people with priorities that their life matters so much more than ours . ˎˊ˗

⸻  RELATION  : ray & ganondorf ( oocca )  ✦ want to save your men from the fire ? show me that you’re willing to burn .  ˎˊ˗

⸻  RELATION  : ray & link ( twilitae )  ✦ what? land of the free? whoever told you that is your enemy .  ˎˊ˗

⸻  RELATION  : ray & link ( obraveyouth )  ✦ who’s a heretic child ? can you make it stick now ?  ˎˊ˗

⸻  RELATION  : ray & zelda ( spiritmaiden )  ✦ why do birds suddenly appear everytime you are near  ˎˊ˗

⸻  RELATION  : ray & zelda ( telepathyia )  ✦ the moon will sing a song for me : i loved you like the sun ! bore the shadow that you made  ˎˊ˗

⸻  RELATION  : ray & zelda ( regnantlight )  ✦  can you tell me what's the point in building empty empires now? ˎˊ˗

⸻  RELATION  : ray & calamity ( hylianremnants )  ✦  i know you i walked with you once upon a nightmare  ˎˊ˗

⸻  RELATION  : ayrin & sky ( hylianremnants )  ✦  stories of old great adventure : i want to be just like you .  ˎˊ˗

⸻  RELATION  : ayrin & sun ( hylianremnants )  ✦  bright & beautiful : sing me another lullaby  ˎˊ˗

[kuro-min]

aauuuauuwahaaauha ..... no ish i was not intimidating i was a blob that begged for attentions because i wanted friends 😭😭 but when i got that attention i would get shy 😭😭😭😭😭😭

i'd like to thank everyone first whos stuck around my weird lil ass all this time, and also thank those who weren't included in the list but still reminder that i love yall 😭😭 i just cant type 28 paragraphs LMAO

okay this'll be a LONG ass post i have many things to yap ab who i hold very close 😽😽

@bueris - my WIFE i love you so much .. we always have such random convos and you've always been someone i could feel comfortable around like i didnt have to hide anything or worry that you'd try to pressure me into opening up. rather, i found myself really comfy that i never shut up when im around you. a lovely personality, one like no other ive ever met!! you'll always hold a piece of my heart with you because i trust that you'd never do anything to hurt me :> i hope we stay friends forever and ever because in the short time we've known eachother, you've become someone i dont think i can imagine not having the in the future.

@merlucide literally one of the realest girls ive ever gotten the privilege to know. i still think about how nervous and excited i would be to come home from school and check if you answered my dms.. i would be rushing eating lunch and doing chores just so i could get a chance to talk with you more. not only have you been such a great friend through matching my energy always and finding ways to make me feel better about myself but you've stayed with me through all the ugly parts of me as well :,) 💓 i hope we stay together for many many many many many many more happy years together. luv you <3

@luvingshidou MY WAIFFFFFFF !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! has the funniest energy ever in the world, and is always willing to do anything. i love when we play games together whether it be you protecting me in minecraft from the mobs or our little acnh dates <3 such a pretty girl as well with a really loving heart 💗💗 you never shy away from affection and left me comfortable with sharing my own affections with you which is such a breath of fresh air. im glad we met and im glad we got so close, and continue to stay close !! ill always be here to listen to your boy problems without fail 😽😽😽

@sharkissm maririririiririrriiririririririiririri !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! has always had a fun upbeat energy about you that no one else can match 😭😭😭 even me sometimes 💀 i love our karaoke nights together and i love listening to you yap .. makes me sleepy haha 💞💞may your freak never fade..!! if anything just get worse. just get freakier. 😈😈😈i hope you know that you aren't a burden and you aren't annoying .. you tend to forget that often huh? sending more hugs your way 💓💓

@jujutsustraycats eeeeeeshhh my latino king 😽it's funny that you found me intimidating because i saw you the same way hgrdsj 😣 you had this cool and relaxed aura about you, and while you still do have that cool composed aura the more i got to know you the more i learned how much of a cutie pie you are 😭💗 its always so nice to talk to you, and whenever i see you online i get excited thinking theres the chance we might get to have a convo 🩷 i do wish we could talk more but im perfectly content with small interactions and the karaoke nights with mariri and you ! i hope i always get to listen to your singing and i hope we stay close.. familia right? 💓💓

@melodiclune where.. do i start .. hi lune 😽😽😽!!! you started off as a cool friend i was happy to talk to but overtime became something much more special to me. i tend to express my emotions pretty freely but i dont mind repeating myself over and over again 😾 lune you are such a beautiful and interesting person, you genuinely captivate those around you including me! i want to thank you for so many things you've done for me, with being my friend or introducing me to persona which has come to be something i really really enjoy!! ill say it again and again I LOVE YOUUUUU 💗💗💗💗 EVERY PART OF YOU IS MY FAV 💗💗and although i might have competition i still take pride in being #1 lune fan 🤧🤧my one and only goat rin itoshi.. or the lovely detective prince akechi goro ... or maybe luka from alien s- *gunshots*

@8-xnny BUNNY MY MOOTIE PATOOTIE MY OOMFIE I ADORE YOU 😭😭😭 SUCH A PRETTY PERSON WITH SUCH GORGEUOUS MAKEUP LOOKS!!!!!!!!!!!! i always feel a rush of happiness whenever i see you in my notifs sending me an ask or tagging me in a silly reblogging game and i hope we can get even closer 💗💗💗may your cutesy energy never leave or i might leave this planet with it.

heh.. saving the best for last...

@ko-trt / @kotrt-x3 MY PEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWKIEEEE 😣😣🤤🤤 we're locked in forever and ever and honestly i could probably yap so much more in person but ill do it over text for now. we've been friends for how long now?? i dont even know but i can literally remember when we first met and how terrified i was. i remember i didnt even speak the entire first week and you still didn't give up on trying to be my friend and if you hadn't done that idk where i wouldve been now.. you've literally become a part of me at this point. no one knows me and doesn't know my pookie. package deal at this point.. its so weird that you found a way to literally intrude into the deepest places in my heart and make yourself at home there you little shitty rat .. not like ill kick you out though 😚😚 if anything try to run and see how far you can get before i reel you back in with a lasso because im possessive like that. NEVERRR forget who your alpha is 😈😈😈 and ill never let any other alphas come near MYYY omega.. 😈 especially not those ugly blonde men you are so fond of. Very witty, thoughtful, to a fault at times lmao. you always know how to lighten my mood, and snap me out of my depressive moments through not getting frustrated at my stubborn behaviours but instead sticking with me through all that. you will always know me in ways no other people will probably know me in? through our shared interests, you always listen to me yap hahahahaha you never shun me for my freak.. deals with my irritable ass, doesnt not get upset when i shut down and are so patient with me ilysm for that ..affectionate yet funny about affection and physical touch too. you make funny little reactions my cutesy patootsie who compliments me and makes me feel beautiful as a person .. a real one through and through, stays with me throughout my faults.. stays up with me even though he's a sleepy snorpy hunk mimimimimi... beautiful person, reminds me of a sunflower, a very smiley person, always laughing and smiling. very smart, passionate in what they do as well and is a person who applies themself to what they love.. a modest person, downplays his achievements a lot but I think it’s sweet and I'd love to remind them of how much they’ve done and how much more they’re going to accomplish!!!!!!! may we stay tgt even past college .. is it 4 years going strong now? thats better than most couples

[loopscereal]

Back in late 2019 i had never even heard of twitch, I was on minecraft youtube watching hermitcraft, i had just recently found this funny video series on youtube by Wilbur Soot where he challenged his viewers live. Back then I thought Technoblade was just another reoccurring viewer of Wil’s! Thats so absurd to think back on!

Early 2020 I watched tommys vids in youtube where he ran around being purposefully annoying twoard the dteam, speedrunning challange, yt vids became yt vods, and he would mention checking out twitch, so would wilbur. By July of 2020 I was following wilbur on twitch, by September I had followed tommy, October I had followed tubbo.

Soon enough I was following a whole new chain of creators on a new platform, invested in their story. I hadn’t yet really registered that their timezines matter much since i was accustomed ti watching vods. I *STILL* regret having missed the pog2020 vs swag2020 election because of this! I still regret that!! God!

November 16th came and went, I was enamored with all the art that came out because of it, then Wolf the witch, then known as “channel without a name” had uploaded their animation of the 16th in the 20th. I was there, in that live chat, and after the premiere, I had made friends. I didnt think that would last, but here i am, almost two years later, and most of the “premier gang” members are still active we still talk regularly.

We watched origins together and fell in love with the vod, learned how to install mods and use fabrics launcher! I installed minecraft java edition fir the first time ever because of this, we played minecraft together, we branched out and screenshared to eachother when one would play any other game.

We had a channel specifically for when some damned streamer would go live to scream about it and summarize the premise to each other if we had missed it. By the time Tales Of the SMP rolled around we would all sit in vc together and watch as someone screen shared.

We’ve had three “seasons” of our origins smp, with shops snd community houses. I remember building water tunnels for our resident merling, and my friend would make awnings for me since i was an enderian and couldnt leave the house when it rained. We pulled pranks on eachother, my whole wheat farm was replaced with carrots, me replaced a friends house with jack-o-lanters and acacia wood!

I found other common interests with friends, we found we coult talk about other things other than minecraft incredibly easily, we made comics together, played new games together, suggested music together, celebrated together, we grieved the death of a fucking music bot together! I still miss groovy, we had so many late night ham sessions with groovy.

We still talk about c!tommy, c!tubbo, a friend makes animations about the eggpire and recently got new egg lore. It feels good after havjng seen and heard them hold on to it for so long, and thats what we’ve all done. Holding on, i guess.

I really have had so much fun, playing with my art style along these two years, creating little ficlets for my friends about characters i adore, going insane about new animations from the community. Ive had a personal au about clingyduo for well over a year now, maybe even two years? No idea, but god its been so fun, fullfilling even.

My vocabulary has deffo been changed, example A is right there, “deffo” was ages ago and hasn’t left me since. I dint think dsmp is going to leave me even if i stop interacting with it (which i don’t think I will just yet)

I love all the results I’ve personally gained from being a part of this.

Thank you so much to the streamers, the artists, the musicians, *some* of the clips channels, everyone who wrote character analysis, wrote fics, or just screamed in twitch chat or posted in the youtube comment section or live tweeted/ live blogged any moment they loved.

Thank you to the fanbase, more than anything, for making this place so loved.

[salt-up-to-your-ankles]

fuck it im gonna list my favourite los campesinos songs because right now theyre my 2nd favourite band behind crywank and above franz ferdinand and i want to talk about them all the time LMAO and no these arent in a specific order or anything

• the sea is a good place to think of the future - this one isnt really a suprise since its what my usernames based off but i love the song and all the little details like the lyrics and how "perfect symmetry" is said in the exact middle of the song and its mmm i love depressing sad music and some of the themes really hit hard its the perfect mix of crywank-y lyrics but los camp! type songs

• alls well that ends in medias res - i love the original song too but this version specifically i love a bit more mostly because of the acousticness and the extra little lyrics its mgmmgm yeah

• we are beautiful we are doomed - this was one of the first lc! songs i listened to and its the song that got me into the band really and i love it so much dhhshs the intro bit kinda reminds me of video game soundtracks like undertale kinda and the lyrics are really good especially "i cannot emphasise enough that my body is a badly designed poorly put together vessel - i hope my heart goes first" and "you kiss my neck i whisper in your ear: this is my downfall" actually all the lyrics of this song are good

• avocado, baby - very good bassline(?) and the lyrics are great too and good to read into and i love the music video for it theres so much happening and the sound effects and the suit gareths wearing mfhdhshs and also A HEART OF STONE, RIND SO TOUGH ITS CRAZY, THATS WHY THEY CALL ME THE AVOCADO, BABY !!!!!

• miserabilia - oh my god the 2 different voices singing work so well and "shout at the world because the world doesnt love you, lower yourself because you know that youll have to" has to be one of my favourite lyrics ever, if i could learn and perform any song with my friends id definitely wanna do this one because its just so good, its one of my top songs

• my year in lists - funny horny lyrics 😁👍 im joking i love how upbeat the song is then the more calm parts at "i cherish the fondness the day (before) i met you" and also the 2 different singers again make it so good also also the repition of winters coat in this song and knee deep at atp is just hfhdusj 👍👍

• allez les blues - i havent listened to many songs from whole damn body yet but i love this song so much its just so happy and upbeat and the chorus is so catchy dhshss it would make such a good ringtone if i wasnt scared to have lyric songs as my ringtone fhshjss

• c is the heavenly option - okay i know this is a cover BUT i really like how for the "my boyfriend" parts theres a male singer and for the "my girlfriend" parts theres a female singer its really cool dhshshs also the "c c c c c c c is the heavenly option" part at the ends really nice with all the layers of vocals

• this is a flag. there is no wind - firstly the first line is amazing i mean who doesnt wanna start a song with CAN WE ALL PLEASE JUST CALM THE FUCK DOWN secondly the lyrics are really good and theyre good to overthink and read into thirdly the chorus is great fhjdjs

okay i could go on forever and in a lot more detail about more songs but ill end it here i hope you enjoyed LMAO

[roteitbad]

back to my sagau roots

VILLAIN SAGAU JUST COZ

Cw // typos grammar (typing on phone rn and while eng is my second first langguage im still a bit stupid with it)

This is gonna be heavily based of what i feel is villany and evil so ehe(in other words me in the villain sagau au)

There wre many wonderful villain sagau au concepts but my favorite has to be the not even creator mc but gains the favor of the creator anyways

LIKE ITS SO GOOD I EAT THAT SHIT UP AND THERES NOT EVEN A LOT OF THEM

but anyways for better understanding think of it as ure the pitiful always burdened last choice employee in ur workplace and you do something really good that ur boss is suddenly interested and promotes u HIGH UP

So with that context....

-

Walking around teyvat was something (name) never really got to do since they got here. With every nation's leader and their forces trailing them, it was hard to stay at one pace or lower. Slowing down only meant they are catching up, so they had to keep going.

The painful days of starvation, frustration, and question were not days that (name) can lightheartedly recollect. So when the creator asked them to mention everyone that comitted sin against them. All they could do was wail and soil the creator's clothes.

Remembering it all was painful. It was as if they were brought back to those moments. Yet, slowly and painfully, (name) starts to list down people and their actions against them through hiccups and screams. All while the acolytes listen in in horror, and the creator comforts (name).

The believers did not do as the creator wished. They acted on their own castle of lies all because they believed it is what's best. They ignored the morals the creator bestowed upon them in the name of honor, when it was them that sullied the creator's name. For that, a punishment is needed, and who else should order their punishment other than the one who suffered most because of their idiocy, the victim of the circus.

"What should their divine punishment be, (name)? You should know that i won't let you give them a punishment that is too light. Whatever it is you want to do with them, it shall be done."

The creator speaks the truth to (name). Handing them the power and authority that other can only dream of achieving.

Even after calming down, (name) wants nothing more than to scream and hurt them as much as they hurted, but they knew that that was only a temporary solution. So what could be the best way for them to get their revenge?

(name) speaks

"I.. I want to be with you. I want to be with you in a way that nobody else can. So that they may see us, and remember their mistake forever."

It was a simple command, but as seen on the faces of the acolytes. It proved to be effective.

The acolytes, wished that the creator believe this to be a ridiculous punishment, but once they looked up to see the smile on their face. They knew it was a futile wish.

"How merciful you are, (name). Well, you heard them. You scums should know that we shall be on our way. If one tries to object, i will personally give their punishment."

-

pt2

OH MY FUCKING GOD TUMBLR DELETED THE LAST EDIT OF THIS I HATE- AAAAA

anyways continuing in pt2 cuz i lacked idea midway and this gave me so much technical problems so best i end it here. Ill get to the reason why the creator likes (name) and the aftermath in the second part

[lepidopteragirl]

listen its rib anon and i need you i need you to understand there are listed buildings i need you to hear this

You glug and you glug, salt water from sandcastle bucket. You glug and you glug and the tide turns in your stomach, splash your shoes. You complain the tap-water runs solid white, you dangle fishing line for crabs, But they're not interested, I'm your only bite.

okay listen listn this first bit right the character is drinking salt water out of the sea because the water around is poisoned but the sea water will also make them sick theres no way to win. and this is like. i would rather be sick and alone than keep trying the paranoia of an eternally broken heart still with more people. you're poisoning yourself regardless of whether the water is actually dangerous or not because you're so ucking. so fucking scared that it is and it will hurt again you would rather throw up in a public bathroom than risk the water again

then that next bit right?? theres a level of like taunting here i think like. bad relationship era for me right? looking back you think the person who stuck with you no matter how much they might have hurt you at least they stayed no one else will bite no one else will try it was just them and they're fucking gone. schlatt era (cause quackity left that didnt he? but despite schlatts abuse he stayed until he died)

I watched your face move in a compact mirror, How the powder settles in, premature crows feet, caused by worry. You say I circle you unwanted, like a seagull swoops and feeds from bin.

trying to cover up your scars abd wrinkles until you realise that you look more powerful scarred almost a "imagine what the other guy looked like" despite everyone knowing that you did lose forever hurting and inadequate and also i have to imagine that running a country is stressful. the idea that everyone just WANTS something off you no one actually likes you they just WANT you to do somehting for them do you understand me??

There are listed buildings and woe betide your listed heart. I think I'd do it for love if it were not for the money. I'll take any scraps that you can give.

what is cquackity if not a condemned building? how many times do structures (relationships) foundations (friendships) fall and the wallpaper (your own self your own morals who even are you at this point you made your identity other people) rots until you just. you condemn the building. ill take anything you offer me ill take your scraps

Come what midnight, you commandeer a fishing boat, Decree to drift further than we could swim. Come what midnight, the neon signs, have been unplugged and fade, You danced a jig down at the harbor, create your own flash show with security lights. I remember being naked to my waist though not in which direction. "and oh, I am a glutton for love, can you give me some romance? I'm a glutton for sin". We are but two atheists in lust, you know, we gotta make our own luck.

when you drift out you had a plan it was going to be productive and good (fishing boat, fucking las nevadas) and you drift out too far you can't get back and you don't know the way its midnight and too dark. you illuminate this new place where you are stranded away from anythign you used to be and cover it with neon lights and pretend it isnt dark when those get turned off in the night until you just keep them on, the city that never sleeps because youre scared of the dark.

what is the feeling of las nevadas aside from gluttony. surely if you take a little more play one more game one more drink that hole in your chest will fill up and you can finally be satisfied and happy. you can be gleeful and sadistic and powerufl but las nevadas never quite feels like a place for happiness

you're playing a game. there is no god left to help you and no god left that you would bare your soul to. you have to make your own luck

There are listed buildings and woe betide your listed heart. I think I'd do it for love if it were not for the money. I'll take any scraps that you can give. I think I'd do it for love if it were not for the money. I'll take any scraps that you can give. I think I'd do it for love if it were not for the money. I'll take any scraps that you can give.

las nevadas slowly became a ghost town before it all collapsed

ill take anyhting you give me

love me love me love me

turn out the neon lights turn the ship around and leave your listed building

find another home

and maybe try drinking the water again

(sorry too much? too much)

-rib anon

WAUGHGHGUHGUGHHHH :(((((((((((((((((((((((((( ill take anything you give me the fucking sea water cquackity condemned building im gonna cry :((((((((((((((((

[tastyykpop]

𝐶𝑟𝑎𝑧𝑦 𝑖𝑛 𝐿𝑜𝑣𝑒-Part 1

Pairings: yandere mafia leader!baekhyun x reader

Genre: suggestive, smut in later chapters, angst probs, fluff here and there but its very lowkey

《teaser next》

Warnings: kidnapping, drug use, alcohol consumption, baeks kinda crazy, pet names, master kink, spanking (he literally spanks her once), choking (not in a kinky way), mentions of blood and murder

Word count: 4.9k

Tag list: @wooya1224 @geniusloey tell me if you want to be tagged!!

⚠️ this is purely fictional and not how I imagine baekhyun to actually act. If you feel like you're in a situation like this please run and report it. I do not support this behavior.

How long has it been? 3 or 5 days? Maybe even a week. You didnt know nor did you care. But why would you? You've gave up caring ever since your boyfriend, Sungho was murdered right in front of you, but you couldn't even see who the murderer was which drove you insane.

Tears and blood stained your pretty skin that night, so much agony and rage ran through your veins. All you wanted to do was curl up into a ball and scream until you passed out. But its been days since you've gotten a proper good night's sleep and it was eating you away ever so slowly. Everytime you closed your eyes, you remembered that dreadful day, Sungho's screams, the terror on his beautiful face, his lifeless bloody body. What did he do to deserve death? Why did it have to be him?

"Y/n! Y/n, its been four days please come out of your room!" It was the familiar voice of your mother and her knocking that brought you back to reality. She was almost begging, she hasn't seen you since you locked yourself away that night so you couldnt blame her for being worried, but you were fine. "I'm coming in."

She pushed your door open to see you cuddling your blanket with no emotion on your face. You looked at her with barely any care and rolled over, facing away from her.

She sighed and sat on the edge of the bed, "You know y/n, we'll get to the bottom of this and have them put behind bars. It's gonna be ok-"

"No its not," you rasped from not using your voice in so long, "I dont even know what the murderer looked like, how can we put them behind bars!?" There was a small pause, she knew finding them wasnt likely which hurt you like hell, but she was still trying her best to comfort you.

"...At least come out of your room, everyone's worried." Your mother pleaded and though you really didnt want to move, you didnt want to upset or worry anyone any further so you got up.

With a smile, she did the same and led you downstairs to where you dad and sister were. They tensed when they saw you, but nonetheless smiled sadly, thanking the heavens you were okay.

"You look horrible..." your sister, Haeun, commented making you cringe. It wasnt like she was wrong, you spent four days not taking a shower and sitting in the same clothes so of course you looked bad, who wouldn't.

You excused yourself and went into the kitchen grabbing the first thing you saw, a bottle of vodka. Now it wasnt the best drink you could've had, but you decided to drink away your pain and suffering since you couldnt take the heart ache any longer.

"Shes doing it again." Your mother whispered but you heard her clear as day. "Shouldnt we stop her?"

"What for? She won't listen and she's traumatized. There's nothing much we could do right now." Your dad spoke with sadness watching as you took a quick swig from the substance.

Normally, you're not one to drink vodka but now it felt good, maybe too good. The more you drank it, the less pain you were in. It could last forever, you thought, but nothing lasts forever.

As you poured yourself another drink, you started wondering about Sungho again. If there were an afterlife, was he happy there? Would he be watching over you, making sure you were happy and healthy?If only it were that simple.

Though you and him were starting to drift off a bit, you still cared and loved him and now you're starting to take everything you guys went through for granted. Its what you get.

Standing up, you left the kitchen a bit dizzy from only drinking alcohol and having nothing else in your system and went back upstairs to take a shower. You decided after drinking, you wanted to go to the club you always go to. Normally, you didnt go on a Thursday, but you thought since you haven't been out in a while that it would be good to leave and breathe in the fresh air.

You took a fairly quick shower and your hair and makeup didnt take long either. Finally stopping to look at yourself in the mirror, your saw how pale and tired you were. Almost lifeless. You figured that once you finally have a good time, it would all go away and you'd be happy again.

"Where are you going?" You jumped at the voice of Haeun who appeared out of nowhere.

"To the club." You stated nonchalantly,

Haeun frowned, "Thats not a good idea, all you'll do is drink until you pass out. And there's always weirdos waiting for their turn with someone vulnerable like that."

A smile formed on your face trying to lighten up the mood a bit, "Ill be fine. I promise nothing bad will happen."

Haeun sighed, almost sounding like a bratty child who didn't get their way because she knew she wouldn't change your mind no matter how hard she tried. It sucked to have a stubborn sibling like yourself.

Sehun rolled his eyes at the sight of Baekhyuns scheduled flirting session. The girl was dressed in barely anything and he could tell she was probably Baekhyuns new toy for the night as he started getting handsy with her. But Sehun could see how Baekhyuns eyes weren't always looking at her. Instead, they sometimes searched passed the girl in hopes to find something else. He knew what, actually who he was searching for so he never asked or mentioned it.

He remembered you perfectly. Your calm and sleeping figure laying peacefully on your boyfriends chest. It was a shame he had to wake you up while he killed the man. And it was a shame to see such a pretty girl cry and scream with such fright in her eyes.

But Sehun didn't feel that bad, he did what he was supposed to do with only a little remorse.

"Sehun," Baekhyun called, the younger lifted his head waiting for him to continue, "Are you sure you didn't hurt my little toy the other day?"

Sehun scoffed, "If I did, I'd be dead by now, hyung."

The man chuckled sadistically , "She hasn't been here in a while," Baekhyun looked up from the girl and turned to Sehun, "Its only safe to ask."

"Hyung, I told you before that shes probably scared." Sehun face palmed when Baekhyun glared at him.

"A little red shouldnt effect someone that bad."

"I kil-" Sehun stopped what he was about to say, forgetting about the girl straddling Baekhyuns lap and cleared his throat, "Shes not used to stuff like that, Baek."

He didn't care about what Sehun said and ignored the youngests pointless blabbering, returning his attention back the girl only for a short amount of time until something caught his attention.

You walked in his club with confidence and beauty not giving any staring man the time of day and took your usual seat at the bar. After ordering your drink, you put your head in your arms and Baekhyun grinned.

Now was his chance, there's no way anyone will get in his way and there was no way he'd let this chance go.

"Stay here." Baekhyun said to Sehun, pushing the girl off him as he stood up. She almost pulled him back but he gave her such a terrifying death glare that made her stop.

"Theres no way youre actually gonna go talk to her...right?" Sehun questioned a bit shocked that Baekhyun was actually going to you after so long.

"Of course I am, I'll be back." With that, Baekhyun walked away from the two with only one thing on his mind: you.

He waltzed with a smirk of pure evil. What would he do? Only God knew, but he couldnt help himself when he saw your pretty face.

All eyes watched Baekhyun stop next to you, astonished that he went to talk to a girl and not the other way around, "Excuse me sweetheart," You popped your head up in the direction Baekhyun spoke, he took a seat next to you with an almost comforting smile when he saw your red cheeks, "But are you okay."

You wanted to spill everything that happened so bad because you needed to get it out, but you didnt know the man and neither did he know you so all you could do was nod, "Im fine."

Baekhyun knew behind your lying eyes was someone in pain and searching for a person to hold, but he couldnt do anything just yet and tried loosening you up to him so he could do what he wanted to do in the first place.

"C'mon sweetheart, you can tell me anything." He smiled that charismatic smile of his, "I'm easy to talk to."

It was believable for the most part and you laughed a bit, the first laugh you actually had since that tragic night, "You seem like a sweet talker," you smirked causing Baekhyun to chuckle, "Whats the catch?"

"There is no catch, I just wanted to know if youre okay. And besides, I could tell you've been crying." He pointed to your tear stained cheeks and you mentally cursed yourself for unintentionally crying just a few moments ago.

"Oh.."

"Dont worry," He chuckled, "Whatever it is im sure you'll get over it." Baekhyun almost failed to hide his sinful smug as you frowned and covered it quickly with a swig of your drink.

But something inside was eating you away about what happened, you needed to let out your emotions and you started caring less and less that he was a stranger. Then again, what if you scared him away? What will happen next?

"At least tell me your name first," You blushed and shyly looked over at him who had an expecting glint in his eyes, "Then maybe ill tell you why I'm so upset."

Baekhyun stretched his hand out in front of him and you gently shook it. Damn he had a strong grip, "My names Byun Baekhyun and you?" He asked as if he didnt know who you were.

"Y/n L/n." You beamed, wondering why his name was so familiar. "So uh- my story..." Fumbling with the drink in your hands, you sighed heavily, "Long story short, my boyfriend was...murdered in front of me." You mumbled the last bit, but you didnt need to repeat yourself as Baekhyun already knew every single detail of that night thanks to Sehun.

Placing a soft hand on your shoulder he whispered with fake sympathy, "I understand now why you're so upset," Liar, "I feel terrible," No he doesn't.

He wiped a stray tear that had slipped down your cheeks and sent you a solemn look.

"I-its in the past i guess." You muttered, "I can't change a thing about it."

Damn right you couldnt. Even if there were some form of time travel, Baekhyun wouldn't dare let you try and change the past because that would mean you weren't entirely his. But since there isn't anything like that, Baekhyun has nothing to worry about except figuring out how to bring you back with him.

"Would you like a glass of water, y/n?" Baekhyun asked quickly as a thought popped into his head. You nodded your head slowly and Baekhyun called over the bartender. You werent really paying attention to him ordering the water and just let your mind slip to the sound of the music and looked around the room, tapping your fingers to the beat, but you stopped when you felt a pair of sharp eyes watching you from somewhere. You looked here and there before stopping on a man that was a about a few inches taller than Baekhyun. He had a eerie grin on his face when you noticed him, then he winked.

Chills went down your spine and you spun yourself around in your chair facing forwards causing Baekhyun to raise an eyebrow but he didnt question it.

"Heres the water." He handed the drink over and you thanked him before taking a sip. It tasted a bit weird but not all water tasted the same, though it was slightly dry for water.

"So tell me about yourself, y/n." Baekhyun checked his watch, all he needed was fifteen minutes then you were all his. "You seem like an interesting person." He looked up and smiled.

"Well," You thought about what was possibly interesting enough to tell him, "Im in my second year of college!" A smile crossed your lips.

"Oh really? Where do you go?" Baekhyun did seem interested to know some parts of your life. Somehow, you caught his attention like that. Thats why Sehun was a surprised when he finally made his move with you.

"Seoul of Performing Arts." You beamed. It was the happiest moment in your life when you got accepted and all of your family members, extended and close, celebrated your acceptance, "My boyfriend, Sungho, went there too."

He just about rolled his eyes but replaced it with a nod and a fake warm smile. If you knew him better, you'd know that smile was only him clenching his jaw in anger.

"How cute." The glint in his eyes proved he was lying and maybe you were too stupid or innocent to notice when you took another sip of water.

He watched and wished his plan could go faster, he was excited to have fun with his pretty little toy and he couldnt wait any longer.

"What about you?" You raised a brow. There was still something in your gut that made you feel like you knew him. And you still wondered why. Was he someone famous in the city? Maybe you've heard your friends mention him here and there? What was it about him that was so familiar?

"You'll know soon enough kitten." You frowned at the pet name as he pat your head like you were a small child yet you chose to ignore it.

It was a bit outlandish and made you more skeptical to know who he was.

"Thats not very reassuring, Baekhyun." Your quirked.

"Why tell you when I can just show you?" He leaned in, mocking your now pouty lips and chuckled, "The drugs should be setting in by now."

You lifted your head up with wide eyes, "Wait what?" Did you hear him right? Did he say what you thought he said? "What do you mean drugs!?" You said with awestruck as your heart raced in fear. You hoped to god he was just joking

The man before you smirked that unpleasant smirk of his, almost like the guy you saw before and you started panicking more, knowing he wasn't kidding. You tried to get up and run but you felt so woozy in a matter of seconds. Not to mention the sudden pain in your stomach that made you want to throw up. What was Baekhyuns plan? Why did he do this!? You thought at least one thing could go right tonight and maybe you could have fun, but you were wrong. So so wrong.

Trying to leave the club building, you knew you wouldn't make it but you still wanted to attempt an escape. It didn't have to be like this. Each step made it harder to move and your eyes started drooping. It was too late for you.

Already collapsed on the ground, people gasped and stared at your almost lifeless body as Baekhyun tilted his head to the side, "She tried, ill give her that." He walked over and crouched down next to you, moving the hair out of your pale face, "But not hard enough."

In an instant, your body was thrown over the man's shoulder. No one commented on anything that happened in fear that they could be next. It was impossible to say that they felt bad either, they were just glad it didn't happen to themselves.

"Sehun," He called out to the younger male but Sehun was already ahead of him, "You drive." He tossed him the keys.

With a nod they both walked out, you on Baekyuns shoulder as he took you to the expensive car. Gently, he placed you down in backseat, putting your seatbelt on for you, and climbed in on the other side to sit next to you.

"All this just for a girl." Sehun shook his head but needless to say he still smirked, "Youre loosing yourself, hyung." The car sparked and drove off into the night, no cops came searching. They knew better. And neither was there news of your kidnapping, the city stayed quiet.

Sure once your parents realized you were gone they'd start freaking out, but would they dare mess with Baekhyun? Would anyone actually try to mess with him? The mafia could easily answer that with an optimistic no. Remember, Baekhyun had power. No one is going to stop him.

"How long will she be out for?" Sehun asked.

Baekhyun shrugged, "Like an hour or two." He was excited for your life with him now, he knew you were finally his after a year of watching you come and go in his club, plus the small stalking he did when he wanted to see you, and he could only smile. No one can get in between him and your love anymore. "Shes gonna love it when she gets home!"

Sehun chuckled at Baekhyuns almost child like enthusiam and started, "She seems a bit innocent," he paused, looking back at your passed out body in the mirror before returning back to the road, "Normally women don't look off into space when someone's buying them a drink."

"Maybe she's a bit slow, but she wouldn't be here with me if that didn't happen."

The candle flickered in the dark as you awoke on a strange bed. You're head was pounding a bit as you tried looking around at your unfamiliar surroundings. What happened? Was your first thought and you started questioning where you were too. You knew something wasn't right but you couldn't understand why.

You tried getting up only to be locked in place by restraints on your wrists. They were only silk but they were tied tight enough to keep you still. Tilting your head in confusion, you heard foot steps coming towards the door and stopping for a mere few seconds before the door handle twisted.

You anticipated what was going to happen, you didnt even know what was going on in the first place, but you remembered the man standing in front of you.

"B-Baekhyun..?"

"Hey, kitten." That sinister smile was plastered on his face. You were sure it held more meanings then just one.

"Where a-am i?"

He almost cooed at your curiosity but composed himself, "At my mansion, where you'll be staying from now on."

There was a moment where you had to think, interestingly enough what Baekhyun said didnt even frighten you in the slightest, but then again you were high off the drug.

"C-Can you u-untie my hands please?" Your voice was soft and quiet, Baekhyun noticed you werent fully aware of your surroundings and complied, untying the silk from your wrists.

Your eyes were a little dilated when you looked at him. He was gorgeous, you had to give him that, though you wanted to remember why something wasn't sitting right with him. "Baekhyun?"

He looked up with a hum.

"Who...are y-you to me?" You squinted your eyes at the man who sat on the bed next to you, drawing small shapes on your thigh in a sort of loving manner.

"Your boyfriend, y/n."

Boyfriend? You have a boyfriend?

"I have a boyfriend..?" You muttered and asked more to yourself than to him, but he snickered, knowing way more than you did.

"Kitten you drank too much, go back to sleep." He lied and pushed your shoulders down so you were flat against the mattress.

"I-i did?" You whined when Baekhyun kissed your cheek. He always wanted to kiss more than your cheek, he couldnt bring himself to do that unless you were fully conscious for him.

"Yes baby girl, so get some sleep."

You grumbled, "I-Im not t-tired."

Baekhyun sighed, "Then what would the pretty girl like to do?"

You perked up on the mattress and grinned, "Im hungry!"

"Youre hungry?" Baekhyun repeated with a smile at your small childlike energy and you nodded back, "I can ask someone to make you something if you'd like."

"Please!"

He stood up, waiting for you to do the same but since you weren't very awake, you stumbled a bit.

Baekhyun settled with carrying you to the mansions kitchen, awing at your cuteness the whole time. It was a bit of a walk but luckily you were light.

Sitting you down, Baekhyun walked off, finding someone to cook for you. In your state, you felt a bit lonely, only knowing Baekhyun and not your surroundings, it made you feel a bit lost. It shocked you too how you didnt remember Baekhyun being your boyfriend, you started question the relationship between the two of you more.

"Princess i got you your favorite dish!" He walked in with a plate of jjajangmyeon and set it down in front of you.

Your mouth was watering and you were ready to dig in before wondering, "H-How do you know m-my favorite dish?"

Baekhyun hesitated at the question before clearing his throat and spoke with a raised brow, "We're dating y/n, why wouldn't I know what you like?"

"Uh yeah..right...." you dug in, your mind was starting to clear up a bit, not enough for you to fully remember anything though. But the more you thought, the more consciousness you regained.

Baekhyun watched as you gobbled down the meal with full satisfaction. This wouldn't be the first time he's watched you and neither would it be the last. He liked knowing you were eating well and were healthy so he was proud.

"I-im done!"

"Good girl. Now wait for me to come back so we can go to bed, okay?" You nodded and sat patiently as he took your plate and waited for your boyfriend to come back.

A few moments later, Baekhyun still was no where to be seen and your mind was slowly coming back, "N-no...wait." mumbling to yourself, you figured it out in just mere seconds and remembered that your boyfriend was brutally murdered four days ago in front of you. After four days you went to the bar to drink away the anguish and met someone, that someone was Byun Baekhyun. After thirty or so minutes of talking to him, you were drugged when you werent paying attention and passed out minutes later. Now you were here at Baekhyuns mansion, lied to and kidnapped. "Oh fuck."

The chair scraped against the floor and you wasted no time running to your hopeful freedom.

But you weren't a lucky person. Oh no you weren't. You were tossed and pushed against the door you were about to open by someone much bigger. He was the same guy you saw at the bar and his smirk was nothing different. Cynical and frightening.

The man stepped closer to you before putting one hand next to your head and whispered, "Are you playing a cat and mouse game with hyung now? How cute." Standing tall, he grabbed you by the hair and dragged you back to where you came. You groaned and tried fighting back, but there was no use, he wasn't going to let go until after he practically threw you into Baekhyuns arms.

You were about to scream at Baekhyun and the no name man until Baekhyun covered your mouth with his hand, "Say something and you'll regret it." He growled into your ear as you shook and fought.

You hummed against him and tried biting his hand and punching his side, but he was like a man of steel and let it happen, only raising his brow like he wanted to hurt you, but didnt.

"Sehun, tell Chanyeol to lock all the doors for the next week or so 'til she learns how to behave."

The man nodded and ran off leaving you two alone. Fear was one way to describe it and the look Baekhyun gave you didnt help.

"Now kitten why would you go and do some shit like that? Are you asking to be punished?" He took his hand off your mouth to let you speak. Baekhyuns aura was much different than earlier. The nice guy was gone and you were left with a man who could kill you with just one look.

You stopped hitting him and screamed viciously, "Fuck you! You're fucking insane!"

"Now now princess," he pressed a hand to your throat, wrapping it tighter and tighter until you felt the oxygen leave your lungs, "It seems as if you're asking for a punishment."

"I-if you...s-so dare to-touch..any other p-part of my body, i-ill....kill you..." You whimpered, grabbing his wrist in attempts to pull him off but Baekhyun was relentless, keeping his grasp tight and painful.

"Stop struggling, you're only making this harder for yourself."

There were two options now, either listen to Baekhyun or fight until you passed out again.

"Princess." His voice held a warning tone and you hesitantly stopped and moments later he loosened his grip, you knew there would be marks by tomorrow, "We are going to bed now. Don't try to run, I have this place guarded up and if you do somehow make it out, be prepared because I will find you and beat your ass until you can't sit for a month. Understand?"

Your stomach did flips and not in a good way, you were scared, "Y-yes."

"Can you say 'yes master'?" His voice went higher as he said the last part to mimic yours.

You sighed, positive if you didnt comply then you'd be here all night, "Yes m-master..."

"Good girl." He kissed your cheek and you almost smacked him in disgust but tried not to act aggressive towards him. You wanted to leave, not be punished by whatever he had in mind. "Call me that from now on."

Baekhyun grabbed your hand and led you to the room you were just in, now that you took a good look, it was a pretty room. There was a red sofa against the wall and some other matching chairs plus a huge flat screen TV hanging on the wall facing the bed. You had to admit, he had good taste but he was still insane.

As you sat down on the bed, Baekhyun reached into his draw to pull out a t-shirt and handed it to you with a wide smile, but you raised a brow at the fabric.

"No pants?" You asked.

Baekhyun chuckled, "What for?"

"Because of creeps like you." You grumbled and snatched the shirt that dangled in front of your face before storming off into the connected bathroom. Inside, you could hear Baekhyuns annoying laugh and ignored it, changing into the surprisingly very oversized shirt that went down to your mid thigh.

Taking the clothes you wore earlier, you went back into the room where Baekhyun laid peacefully on the bed, waiting for you.

He only had his boxers on which made you groan in anger and decided to not lay on the bed and instead on the couch near it.

"Princess, what are you doing?" He perched himself on his elbows, watching you throw your clothes on the ground then take the folded blanket on the couch and wrap yourself with it as you laid down.

"Going to sleep, master." You stated coldly with a glare.

Baekhyun rolled his eyes, "Get over here." He said, voice low and laced with dominance but you remained still, closing your eyes and pretending as if you were asleep. "Y/n." He warned but there was no reply.

"Thats it." You heard him get up and march to where you laid. Baekhyun picked you up and you yelped at the sudden intrusion and were thrown over his shoulder.

Smacking his back got you nowhere as he threw you down on the bed, pinning both your hands down and hovered over you with a killing look, "Next time you don't listen, ill bend you over my knee."

"Youre all talk, no action." In an instant you were flipped over and a hand landed straight on your bare ass, leaving you shocked and mouth agape.

"Are you sure, kitten? Would you like me to spank you again?"

"N-no."

"No what?"

"N-no master.."

Baekhyun slowly let you go and laid beside you, still a bit irrated. "Now go to sleep."

You couldnt. Not with the lingering fear of what could happen next. Plus, not with his arm wrapped around your waist with a somewhat tight hold. You were just too scared to let your gaurd down. Why shouldn't you be scared though? What if he took advantage of your sleeping body and did something terrible.

There was no way you could get rest now. You could now count this as your fifth day without proper sleep.

[bbarican]

august 28, 2022; 7:10 pm - long weekend

long post ahead! i feel like i havent really had the time again to just sit down and update my tumblr (and even myself tbh) with everything thats going on with my life so fair warning this post is going to be super long but feel free to read along

work:

i hate how work is all i ever think about nowadays kasi wala naman akong jowa, all my friends are busy too, tapos na yung board exam pumasa na ko and everything so talagang when i have problems at work, its all my brain can think about and its really exhausting

ill try to go in depth again about work in another post next time pero all i can say is its both really fun to be challenged but also its just really tiring too kasi it isnt the most ideal way of being challenged (if that makes any sense)

im just really thankful for my work friends kasi they constantly remind me na oo nga pala im not alone and they understand me more than anyone could kasi theyre living through these challenges too

family:

my tita and tito are leaving this week and its really bittersweet! i love having them here kasi nga its a great break from the mundane but its also very tiring to constantly have to be a host every single day so all in all im just really glad they got to visit and that they had fun here during their stay!

sana most of my cousins could come to our house tomorrow for my little celebration kasi i really do miss them plus ang daming pagkain na balak lutuin/bilhin ng nanay ko and i dont want that to go to waste

i miss my kuya so much and i wish march would come sooner para nandito na siya for a few months of vacation

i love my family and our dogs so much and im forever thankful for all the blessings we receive everyday and that we're always safe

personal:

where the fuck did this rain come from? it was partially sunny from yesterday to this morning and now its pouring again - i love the rain, not so much the lightning, but i really hope it doesnt rain tomorrow

im so excited for tomorrow kasi my brain is already making a mental to do list of the things i want to accomplish tomorrow before guests start arriving

im so emotional and extra bloated kasi magkakaroon na ulit ako ng period and most of the time naaamaze parin ako sa flor app kasi sobrang accurate niya when it comes to telling you how long before you get your period again (that is, if you make sure to always update the calendar once you do get your period)

i dont exactly know what to wear yet tomorrow - and yes inisiip ko parin yun kahit na sa bahay lang naman kami magcecelebrate

i got the tiny spray bottle that came with my keyboard cleaner to work! akala ko sira talaga siya ever since i got it pero i think i just havent been pushing it correctly all this time lang

i kinda want a cute mousepad too kasi ang panget ng mousepad na gamit ko whenever i use my laptop

music:

talk that talk is SOOOOOOOOOOOOO much better than pink venom when it comes to comeback singles

im so so so happy about twice sounding more like they did around mid 2019-2020 kasi thats my favorite era from them and im just really happy na talk that talk fits that sound ive always been looking for from them

super love the y2k mv, the choreo is AMAZING, the song is really cute, and i really love how maganda yung distribution of lines nila in the song

theres this particular song i recently fell in love with and instead of gatekeeping it (even though im sure some of you might already know it) im going to share it with all of you kasi its one of the loveliest songs ive discovered in a really long time - golden hour by jvke; reminds me so much of call me by your name and feeling like youre in italy and falling in love and being outside, basking in the sunlight with your lover - i really hope someone, someday, remembers me when they hear this song

and thats it for another update post! again if youve made it this far, thank you again for reading my updates; i hope you all are doing okay and are staying safe and dry!

happy long weekend, tumblr! sulitin na natin to!

[crafty-business4130]

so to expand upon this lets go in some ideas on what helscraft is like

i like to think that helscraft is a weird glitched copy of the overworld and the nether mixed together. for the cannon of my hermit duplicate’s AU (of which i will be referring to within this post) the dimension of helscraft isnt really a full dimension that always appears in every world like the end and nether. it only spawns into a world after a year or so of players putting all of their love and care into the world. the world builds up enough of all that good energy and then causes a opposite opposing Force to form. thus helscraft spawns into existence. in a way you could say the whole dimension of helscraft is a duplicate as well.

now one thing that kinda throws a a wrench in the works of this idea is that every year or so the hermits move into a new world, though since its normally has been roughly the same amount of players in each season we can go with the hermitcraft dimension of hels is carried over with each world jump. the world of hels change to match the new overworld but its still the same helshermits. though for the hermits that leave the server their hels counterpart disappears.  this may also work in reverse as well. only have one example so far so who know :) cOUGHCOughNHOcOUGh

with the the hows and whys on helscraft existence out-of-the-way let's get into some worldbuilding!

as ive already mentioned, helscraft is somewhat of a glitchy mix of the overworld and nether. what i havent mentioned is that a good bit of the April Fools updates and removed features for the overworld ended up floating over to helscraft but unlike the overworld in which these features disappear pretty quickly they ended up sticking around in helscraft, for better or worst. 

heres a list of examples of this, of which i then expanded upon them to make them more fleshed-out. 

the list got really long so the rest of the post is under the cut! :D

Pig and cow sized horses, if fed too much will cause the animal to grow dangerous mutations that can not only kill the animal but make its remains toxic and unedible. You can make a green book via using toxic leather (the crafting book)

A common spell is to summon flame that then can be used for new crafting recipes. one such recipe is flaming barrels, if someone walks too close it will explode, another is chainmail armor

if you put too much fuel into a furnace it will explode.

torches burn out an hour or two after being lit

chickens are deadly, do not provoke them. it is extremely rare but the is a very small chance spawn in a blue chicken. only able to spawn via throwing eggs. it drops lapis and diamonds instead of eggs. beware tho, all chickens in the immediate vicinity will protect the blue one with their lives and will attack anything that gets too close.

eating or feeding an animal a god apple will cause it to float upwards for five minutes before slowly descending back to the ground. 

Wheat if not chopped after fully grown will go bad and die, same thing with other crops. though you can make Iron infused melon and pumpkins, it insures that the stem won't die over time after its first produce

Powered Redstone causes redstone bugs to spawn, it can be stopped by combining lapis and redstone dust together to make bluestone dust. asifhfsssdhv only a noob uses redstone.

Redstone wire, another alternative of redstone made with redstone dust surrounded by cobwebs. it insulates the redstone and stops bugs from spawning. pretty much the same thing function wise but is a pretty cool thing to use to flex on others

Villagers are instead piglins, not the tanned ones added into the nether update but rather pink skinned ones.

Glowing obsidian, a glowing red version of obsidian. Only found in trades with piglins

In helscraft there are lava oceans instead of water, water can only be found deep underground. Lava instead of water is infinite, water is no longer infinite. 

The world of hels first looked like the indev world theme of hell, with following updates to the overworld helscraft changed and evolved as well. There is no sun nor moon, just a forever floating layer of lava that acts to light up the dimension. 

Frostwalker is instead, Magmawalker, turning lava into magma blocks shortly before melting back into lava

Boss fights arent the same in helscraft as in the normal overworld and its closely neighboring tied in dimensions of the end and nether. Not found in helscraft are Guardians, the ender dragon, and technically the Wither as well. Instead you can find Giants, the red dragon, the four horse men(much more difficult to defeat)

Giants unlike the ai less ones you can spawn using commands are living and breathing monsters that roam the land. During their travels any ghasts they cross will join them on their wandering

Ghasts can be somewhat tamed in helscraft. If you can successfully capture a baby ghast from its parents and raise it yourself the ghast will be malleable enough, somewhat like foxes but just a bit more wild. If you happen to accidentally harm them it will turn on you and fight you to the death, be it your’s or theirs.

It's a very very rare find but huge brick pyramids can spawn into the world. in season 7 helscraft’s cubfan took up residence within one that spawned in Incredibly Close to spawn

There are alot of different nonsensical potions that can be brewed for interesting drinks. some have a use, most dont tho. all of em have amazingly different tastes and smells

instead of honeycomb there is crystallized honey, it functions as pretty much the exact same thing. has its block too, call the wax block.

Killer bunnies spawn in more often than normal bunnies

Og stonecutter, can cut blocks into half. Not only used for stone. can cut doors, beds, and much more into halfs

Nether reactor core, could be the key on how to jump between the hermitcraft and helscraft. will need to think on this idea some more though

Petrified Forest, a biome within helscraft that has wood as hard as stone and a texture reminiscent of a mix of acacia and crimson planks color wise.

unsure as of yet on what to call it but the volcanic biome the Rempirer had Rendog make is a biome within helscraft as well!(the Rempirer is ren’s helscraft counterpart... he wasnt always evil as he is now) 

the mobs that lost the vote found their way into helscraft, not just the moobloom all of them. the three mystery mobs from the 2017 and the ice illager. (i voted for the glow squid and while i do still stand by my decision it is truely a shame we might not see any of them all in the game ever )

Studded armor and plate armor, alternatives to leather and chainmail. studded armor is made with leather and stone and plate armor is made with smooth stone slabs

stained glass looks a bit like this

and colored wool like this!

and thats everything for now. ill probly be working out some more ideas since theres a surprisingly large amount of features that have been added to minecraft either hidden away in the background or removed.

 also if anyone wants a some links to where i found these old and mostly forgotten facts ill post em in the notes when i get the time to do so. theres a lot of them tho so i might forget a few

hey also if you like these you might also like my Discord! i made it for this au and i tend to share my ideas a bit more over there than over here. theres a lot to see :DD

[heartachebf]

16, 17 (Tweek), and 25 -Batz 🖤💜

fandom asks

16. favorite behind-the-scenes insight ive actually got 2 answers for this !! first off, i love the fact that kenny is based off a Real Life kid trey knew growing up, who was Also named kenny n wore an orange coat that nobody could hear him over And was the poorest kid in town. and i rly love that kyle is blatantly based off matt stone ^_^ i have a big gay crush on matt so obvi that makes kyle one of my favs

17. 3 things you love about [insert character]

1. the fact that he can play piano And sing And act ^_^ i love that artsy little dweeb so much 2. the fact that his tics slowly got better over the years... sobbing n wailing.... AND the fact that he barely tics when hes around craig.... love wins 3. i love that he can kick ass should he choose to ^_^ he could maim someone so easily and i think he deserves to bonus number 4 bc i love him so much. i love that he can bake ^_^ i like to think that he stress bakes and will try out new recipes n then he'll take what he baked to school to let his friends try ^_^ hes god tier actually

25. favorite episode of [insert season] u didnt specify which season, so ill give my favs of each season (below the cut bc this post is getting long) (id also probs do this even if u Did specify which season bc. peace and love)

s1: i cant pick between episode 7, black friday (bc i Love the feel of all the early halloween episodes) or episode 10, damien (bc damien supremacy ^_^ im forever obsessed w the fact that he, the son of satan, has a super high pitched voice)

s2: EPISODE 17, GNOMES !!!!! i think that was tweeks first introduction and as such, its my fav ^_^ i rly love his voice in that ep <3

s3: episode 5, tweek vs craig, bc duh ^_^ the beginning of an era <3 plus its proof that tweek is tough n doesnt need protecting

s4: either episode 6, cherokee hair tampons (bc i love how fiercely stan tries to help kyle + its revealed that kyle has diabetes ^_^ i will forever cry over the fact that stan didnt hesitate to offer his kidney to save kyles life) or episode 8, something you can do with your finger (bc i love their silly little boy band + i love wendy joining their boy band + kyle wanting to be the tough one of the band + randy backstory/him being a lil insane but in a funny way)

s5: episode 3, super best friends ^_^ the origin of stan n kyle being super best friends ^_^ i also kinda love episode 10, how to eat with your butt, bc kenny is very endearing in it And we finally get to see what kyles hair looks like <3

s6: either episode 9, free hat, or episode 11, child abduction is not funny bc theres so much excellent tweek content ^_^ i also like ep11 bc of how dumb the parents are in that one, thats always amusing

s7: either episode 8, south park is gay (the fact that everyone was acting a lil fruity ^_^ gay rights ^_^ and also kyle rejecting dressing fruity and getting made fun of for that. so funny considering the fact that he Is gay, i prommy, kyle told me himself) or episode 14, raisins (bc butters was very sweet that episode + goth stan was introduced ^_^)

s8: omg this ones so hard to pick. i love episode 4, you got f'd in the a, bc stan having to get in a dance battle??? comedy gold. i love episode 6, the jeffersons, bc we stan n kyle being dads to blanket, gay ptide. and then i also love episode 11, quest for ratings, bc i love the guys having their own news team And i love that craig had a show dedicated to just showing cute animals. dork craig rights

s9: episode 10, follow that egg ... more silly little stan n kyle content ... stan gets rly fruity here and im obsessed w it. that whole episode gives me silly little au ideas ^_^

s10: episode 14, stanleys cup. froths at the mouth. that one anon of mine, hockey fic anon? theyre writing a silly little fic based off an au of That episode ^_^ that ep is so quality

s11: goes insane. episode 8, le petit tourette bc i loved seeing cartman in anguish + dork craig content. episodes 10, 11, and 12 aka the imaginationland trilogy bc. god. just so good. i cant even explain it. episode 13, guitar queer-o bc it gives me Another great au idea + stan n kyle are fruity in it. and finally, episode 14, the list, bc there was lots of good wendy content And kyle got a little unhinged ^_^ as he deserves <3

s12: this is another one where its so hard to pick... episode 1, tonsil trouble, bc kyle got to go in attack mode again. episode 3, major boobage, bc we got silly little kenny content ^_^ episode 9, breast cancer show ever, bc thats when wendy beat the shit out of cartman <3 episodes 10 and 11, pandemic and pandemic 2, bc. craig content ^_^ and also ive already talked on my blog abt how its the best 2 parter ever. and episode 13, elementary school musical, bc stans gang was particularly goofy n their musical number was so fun ^_^

s13: episode 8, dead celebrities, bc kyle and ike content!!! i love them so much!!! and also episode 11, whale whores, bc stan Attacked And Killed all for the love of animals, n i love him for it

s14: episodes 11, 12, and 13, tha superhero episodes ^_^ i loved getting to see everyones superhero costumes in action And we got to learn more abt kennys immortality, which was so exciting !!

s15: episodes 7 and 8, youre getting old and ass burgers. starts sniffling and crying and collapses on the floor while sobbing. thats all i have to say about that, peace and love

s16: episode 5, butterballs (bc stan is so! hes just so !!! yknow. the anti bullying song in it is So good, And i live for butters standing up for himself ^_^ also the song at the end is god tier), episode 6, i never shouldve gone ziplining (its so fuckn funny, and i live for the live action bit at the end), and episode 11, going native (bc of that sweet, sweet butters n kenny content ^_^ i also live for butters Attacking in it)

s17: episode 4, goth kids 3: dawn of the posers. probably my fav goth kids centric episode ^_^ its so good n funny

s18: episode 3, the cissy. starts sniffling and crying again, but this time in transgender mode. i also love episode 6, freemium isnt free bc we get another Glimpse into stans issues w addiction ^_^ peace and love on planet earth

s19: episode 6, tweek x craig. love wins, gay ptide, etc etc

s20: um. i actually kinda hated this season. but ig if i Had to choose one, itd be episode 10, the end of serialization as we know it, bc it finally ended that season ^_^ no offense to any s20 stans out there, i just thought it was so boring

s21: episode 2, put it down. tweek n craig content, gay ptide ^_^ this is also the one where we learned that tweek can sing, play piano, And bake, and we also got to see craig learn how to support tweek better, which was very sweet ^_^

s22: episode 10, bike parade. i didnt super love this season either, so its kinda a case of picking the one i wasnt bored with. plus in a way it kinda felt like one of the original episodes, it was like a lil blast from the past !

s23: episode 2, band in china ^_^ we got stans band, crimson dawn !! it was great learning more abt how stan felt abt having to move to a farm, plus butters ripping it on a guitar was so funny. and then randy did stuff too idk

s24: this season has just been the 2 specials so far, but i liked the vaccination special, episode 2 the best ^_^ bc 1, the brovorce arc started, n im rly excited to see what happens with that. and also the way it ended left me hopeful that maybe the shows gonna go back to the way it used to be a little bit <3 i also liked how we saw stan gettin really mentally ill with freaking out over the pandemic, but that mightve been in the first episode instead...

[wienerbarnes]

Stressor

Pairing: Bucky x Reader (Cheek to Cheek)

Word Count: 2,622

Warnings: murder lol, mentions of gore/blood, mentions of rape (its described in like two sentences and theres a short non-graphic flashback, but pls pls pls message me if you dont wanna read and ill give u a sparknotes version), so theres angst but also some nice parts like bucky meditating okay

A/N: wrote this while procrastinating my art commissions but i bought my first laptop BY MYSELF after saving for months and im v excited :) lmk what yall think of this, i promise next part will be goofier/happier lol

MAIN MASTERLIST | CHEEK TO CHEEK MASTERLIST

“Shit… Fuck… Fuck! He’s gonna fucking kill me… fuck…”

The mumbles spill from your lips as you take in the scene in front of you. Puddles and puddles of blood covered the floor of your apartment, dirtying your beige tile and all the other surfaces with splatters. David lays in the middle, with about thirty-six stab wounds in his body.

When you and Bucky started the arrangement regarding your list, there were two rules you two agreed to follow - no matter what. First rule: Kills are never completed alone. You two are to complete the list together and help each other with everything that involves the person. Second rule: Bucky is to know everything about the person they’re killing. What they did to you, their name, their remaining family, where they live, what they eat for breakfast; everything. 

And here you were breaking both of those rules.

It was too good of an opportunity, you try and convince yourself. Bucky will understand, he’s always so understanding, he never yells, he’s always so nice to you; a choked sob escaped your body as your dirty hands fly to cover your face, tears flowing down your cheeks mixing with the blood now smeared across your skin.

…

TWO HOURS EARLIER

Bucky always told you to be extremely cautious when leaving the apartment. Even though it had been well over a year, almost two, since your prison escape, you never knew who could be watching. Every few weeks or so, your name pops up in the news, Whatever happened to one of the worst killers in modern history, How did she pull off such an escape from such a high security facility, Is she even still alive, etc.

But as soon as your name appears, it vanishes once more, replaced by some other injustice happening in the world.

Your feet take you inside a small bar, the musky scent intrigues you along with the copious amounts of peanut shells littering the floor. You take a seat on the stool and try not to pay attention to the fact that every single person in the room is staring at you right now. But you can’t blame them; you’ve dyed your hair a pastel pink now, body covered in baggy jeans and baby blue long-sleeved milkmaid top, a gift from Bucky. “You can’t wear that one t-shirt, that’s mine, by the way, forever.” He’d told you. Your rainbow painted toes and fingernails stand out under the dimmed lights of the place.

An older man behind the bar approaches you and places a napkin in front of you, “What can I get ya’?” You order some beer plastered on the wall because as far as you know, you’ve never even tried alcohol before, let alone know enough about it to have any kind of preference.

You take sips of the beer for a while, aimlessly watching the sports game playing on the TV, every once in a while glancing at the pool table where a group of older men play a game together. Suddenly, the stool beside you becomes occupied. You know it’s not Bucky, he doesn’t know you’re here and it’s not his cologne, but for a second you were hoping it was. A parallel to when you sat with him in that cafe all that time ago. When he bought you that apple pie and hot chocolate. I miss him…

You refuse to look over at the man sitting next to you, but you can feel his eyes blatantly staring at you. 

“So… what’s your name?” He breaks the silence and asks you. You don’t respond, simply just continue sipping away at your beer.

“My name is David.” He offers. A chill runs up your spine at the name and you look over at him. He looks so familiar… Where do I know him from? Have I seen him at the food market before? Is he Hydra? Did we go to school together? Were we in the Marines-

“Hey officer,” A deep voice curls into your ear, causing a chill to run up your spine.

“Fuck off, David. I’m trying to do my hair.” You don’t bother glancing at him in the mirror as you scoop more gel into your hands and smooth it onto the top of your head. You’ve let your hair grow to long and the strands keep sticking out of the bun, but the thought of asking any of the other women, or worse - the men, for help cutting it terrifies you. You’re still too new.

“Now, is that any way to talk to your higher up?” A large hand wraps around your middle and gropes your breast.

“I said fuck off.” A pointy elbow slams back into his chest, knocking the wind out of him.

“I’ll get you for that, just you wait. Fresh meat.”

Your body runs cold as you make the connection and you feel as though your entire body has shut down. You can feel the cold sweat gathering in your palms and your lower back. A lump forms in your throat and you want to cry; you want to scream. But something takes over, and although you feel terrified, you keep yourself composed; hide your anxiety.

“Do you want to get out of here? My place is only a few blocks away.” You ask, false sultriness dripping from your voice. David smirks at you, clearly not recognizing you from nearly a decade ago. 

He takes out some cash and places it on the bar, grabbing your beer from your hands and placing it on top, grabbing your hands after and leading you out of the bar.

…

Bucky sits on the floor of his living room, practicing his twenty minutes of meditation before bed. Alpine rubs her cheek against the bare top of his foot that’s crossed under his knee, but eventually gets bored before trotting around behind him to start climbing her way up his back. Bucky tries his best to ignore her tiny nails digging through his shirt, but can’t help but chuckle as she makes herself comfortable in the curve of his neck. “Guess meditation time is over, huh baby?” He whispers before gathering her in his hands and plopping her on his bed. He reaches down to roll up his yoga mat when he hears a silent buzzing from his kitchen.

Confused on who would be calling him this late, knowing that Sharon’s visiting a college friend over in SoHo and Sam’s on a date, he sees a number he doesn’t recognize flash on the screen. Bucky hesitates answering, but he knows telemarketers rarely call this late.

“Hello?” Bucky answers.

“B-Bucky?” Your shaky voice sounds on the other end. The sound is watery and raspy, like you've been sobbing your eyes out and screaming for hours.

“Bucky, I-I-I need y-your help… I fucked up,” Your voice is cut off by a hiccup as Bucky goes to grab his closest pair of pants to go over his boxers and he pulls on sneakers before grabbing the keys to his bike.

“Hey, sweetheart? Do me a favor and relax, okay? Are you okay? Are you hurt?” Bucky rushes out as he locks his door behind him before making his way to the staircase.

“I’m so so so sorry, Bucky… please don’t be mad at me-e… I broke t-the rules,” Choked sobs escape you and Bucky has never heard you cry like that before.

“Listen, I’m already on my way, okay? I’ll be at yours in twenty minutes, okay?” You don’t respond as Bucky listens to your crying and you eventually hang up.

Broke the rules? What does she mean by… oh. She couldn’t have… we had our next hit planned for a few days from now. Did she do someone else on the list? Bucky tries not to think too much about it until he can get to yours and figure out what’s going on, his motorcycle screaming through the quiet night.

…

You’ve been sitting in David’s blood for about an hour now. The liquid is cold, his body is cold, the phone in your hand is cold. Nice going, you’ve really done it now. Not only have you probably just cost yourself your freedom, but you’ve ruined your jeans and the top Bucky bought you. He’s going to be so mad at you; he’s going to be so mad that he’s going to have no choice but to bring you in. He’ll be laughing as the cops drag you away-

Your thoughts are interrupted by a frantic knock on your door, Bucky’s voice calling your name on the other side.

“If you don’t open the door, I’m breaking it down!” He calls. 

You slowly stand, trying not to slip in the puddle, before walking over to the door and opening it about halfway. Bucky’s eyes widen and his brows furrowed together as he looks your body up and down.

The blood on your clothes is starting to brown and you’re covered up to your forearms in blood. Splatters decorate your face, neck and hair, and your eyes are puffy from crying.

“I-I-” You begin to stutter. Bucky silently pushes his way inside to see the bloodbath waiting for him. He pushes the door closed behind him and stares at the body laying in the middle of the floor. Your knife still sits standing out of his face.

“Who the fuck is that?”

“Bu-Bucky- I can,”

“What, you-you can explain?!” Bucky snaps, turning to face you, and you’ve never seen him look at you like this. You flinch and take a half-step backwards, bumping into the door behind you.

Bucky turns back around, a flesh and silver hand running through his hair and roughly over his face.

“Here’s what’s going to happen,” He begins, voice eerily even, still staring at the body. “You're going to go shower and wash all of the blood off your body. Then you’re going to make sure this apartment is spotless. I’ll take care of… him. And then we’ll talk when I get back. Are we understood?”

You can’t seem to make any words come out so you quickly make your way to your bathroom and close the door behind you softly.

You shower until the water runs cold and your skin is tinted red. Either from the blood or how hard you were scrubbing, you’re not sure, you just didn’t want Bucky to still be in your apartment when you stepped out.

It’s not that you were scared of him, because you weren’t. You knew that Bucky would never intentionally harm you, both physically or mentally. You were more angry at yourself. Bucky's done nothing but protect you; he’s kept you a secret, helped you indirectly work through your trauma, stitched you up, made you smile and laugh when you didn’t even think that was ever going to be possible for you anymore. You broke the only rules he asked of you. You disappointed him. You’ve put him in an even worse position than he’s already in by protecting your existence.

You turn the knob of the water to the right before stepping out and wrapping your fluffy yellow robe around your body, tying it at the waist. Your apartment is empty when you step out of the bathroom, Bucky nor David occupying the space. Your walk over to your sink and open the cabinet on the bottom to take out your cleaning supplies before getting to work.

…

Bucky’s calmed down significantly by the time he gets back to your apartment. He checks his phone to see that it’s almost five in the morning before reaching in his other pocket for your keys that he took off the table, slipping the key into the lock and jiggling it until pushing the door open. 

He’s not mad at you. Perhaps he was for a bit, but he realized that anger was just fear. Had anyone seen you? Did this guy do something to you? Did he recognize you and that’s why you needed to kill him? Did you kill him because you actually wanted to experience that again? He really hoped it wasn’t the last one.

You're sitting on your bed in the corner of the apartment, splatters still visible on the sheets but the floors are clean. The room doesn’t have an overpowering smell of bleach or cleaner, but there is no trace of a body here, besides the small splatters, but those can be passed off as splashes of wine. You did good.

Your feet are stretched out in front of your as your hands are planted behind your back, propping you up. Your yellow robe is tied around your waist but the edges sit high up on your thighs.

He sets your keys on your table, kicks off his shoes, and walks over to take a seat next to you.

“Did you know I was a Marine before all of this? When I was, like, eighteen?” You break the silence, still staring at the wall in front of you.

“Yes.” 

“The guy was my unit chief. He raped me twice during my first week there.” 

Bucky remains quiet as you explain, watching your face and it’s calm expression. You hesitate, opening and closing your mouth before opening it once more to continue.

“I went to some bar tonight and he hit on me. He didn’t recognize me, and… I don’t know. I thought I’d scare him or something, remind him what he’d done. But then he was here and he kept trying to feel me up even though I’d push him away. I didn’t have a plan yet. And then he snapped at me and then I snapped back…” You trailed off. 

“After I realized what happened, I panicked and I used his phone to call you.”

“I’m really sorry, Bucky.” You say, softer now. You bring your legs up to your chest, wrapping your arms around your shins.

“Okay. I forgive you.” Bucky responds after a moment.

The two of you sit in silence next to each other on the thin sheets. You’re staring at the passing cars out the window. He’s staring at your plant that’s sitting on the small night stand next to your mattress. You’ve changed out the silver tin it was sitting in to a light blue one covered in green polka dots. 

You tilt your head to meet his eyes and look away briefly before meeting them again.

“Can… Can I have a hug, Bucky?” You ask, with the smallest voice in the world, your sentence ending in a small crack.

Bucky doesn’t answer and instead scoots closer to you, wrapping his arms around your body and pulling you onto his lap, your thighs on either side of him, chests touching. His left arm wraps around your back and drags slowly up and down while his right hand rests on the back of your head, softly scratching through your still damp hair. Your hands are tucked close between both your chests and your breath fans softly against his neck where your head is tucked into. He silently breathes in your scent, the children’s strawberry soap you use mixed with a homey, warm small that’s just you. He watches out the window as the sky turns from a dark blue to a deep orange; it should be about five-thirty right about now and the morning traffic is about to start.

“There’s a ton of white cat hair on your shoulder, Buck.” He hears you whisper against him, voice slurring a bit with drowsiness, the last bits of adrenaline wearing off.

He smiles to himself and holds you until you're fast asleep, and then stays for a while after that, too.

[cadaverousdecay]

i had a cool dream that turned into a horror movie

so there was this little table of treasures, next to a church, that had a small crowd of people around it looking and admiring the gems and jewelry. i was trying to steal anything i could without getting caught.

i was able to take four things before someone noticed. a little girl was yelling “wheres the watermelon emerald?” and she seemed visibly upset so i was like oh shit, these people actually care about these things i guess ill put them back. so i dropped the watermelon emerald (which was a rhombus with green on one side and pinkish on the other) and pretended to find it and put it down.

then i walked around to a different end of the table and waited on the people to look away and i tried to put the rest of the stuff on the table but this one chain piece i stole which ends had hollow and stretched out hearts, wrapped around my neck and started whispering.

i dont remember the next part fully but basically i was yelling at everyone that something was coming and most people didnt believe me. something else happened here but my minds drawing a blank so im gonna skip to the next part. i think i was talking to someone.

human sized praying mantises started breaking through the ground. i dont remeber how we knew, but it was known that they were vampires. so we ran into the church hoping they couldnt get inside.

i told everyone to stay low and stay as far back as possible, just because they couldnt reach us didnt make us safe. they didnt just want to eat us or want our blood, they were pissed and they wanted us dead, and they would use any long range weapon that could to do the job.

a few of us decided to creep to a door that led to a flight of stairs going up and see if that led to anywhere safe. it was an almost pitch black staircase that maintained its holiness through darkness. we trekked up and almost made it to the top when a vampire burst through the door dressed in such a dark black it canceled out the stairway’s defense.

so we ran back down and jammed the door shut with a candlestick and made sure that everyone in there was safe. as we were checking in on everyone a woman’s water broke and she started to give birth. we worried that the noise might attract them more but went to work to help the birth process.

while that was happening i gathered the kids and was talking to them trying to cheer them up as much as was possible in that situation. i ended up talking about how i was planning on watching a movie about praying mantis vampires, it was on my vampire movie list. then i started telling them about vampire movies ive seen before.

in almost all of them (at least the action ones) theres the fight back against the vampires. so we’re like hey, we cant sit here forever. we have to figure out what these vampires’ weaknesses are and get rid of them!

and thats where i woke up

[horansqueen]

Vote For My Next Story

I'll try to keep this short. YOU&ME has ended, and it was a big part of the last few years of my life (along with AM Conversations). It'll probably always be my favorite and best story but that doesnt mean i want to stop writing.

please, know that the oneshots ideas are independent from the story ideas, meaning that i can write a story AND oneshots at the same time so let me know if youre interested!

(click on the read more to read the 10 synopsis of the story ideas I’d like to write)

AM Conversations & YOU&ME ideas:

-oneshots ideas for what happened after the story, before the story, or even in-between chapters in the story. you can send me ANY idea that you would want to read between Liv and Niall or other characters.

-oneshots ideas for any "what if" you can think of (i.e. what if one of them didnt love the other, what if they hadnt seen each other at the bakery, what if Liv had dated Louis, etc)

NEW STORY IDEAS:

NOTES: 

all the ideas are AU. 

 #2 #8 and #9 will include a few of the 1D boys. 

despite the title, #4 is a Niall fic

titles may change

                                   VOTE HERE!!!!

you can also vote by messaging me.

in the form, theres a place for comments but you dont have to leave any

you also dont have to leave your name or anything

thank you if you vote, it means a lot to me!

ill keep this open for a while, until i get enough votes :)

1- UNPREDICTABLE

They haven't seen each other since high school and they hadn't missed each other at all. In fact, they never really could stand each other. Her, a bit of a rebel, listening to punk music, searching for trouble whenever she could... and him, the good boy, popular and loved by everyone, who could rarely be seen without his guitar. It's been a few years already but not many things had changed and they still didn't have anything in common... except one thing. Both of them aspired to become famous with their music. With a twist of fate, they end up in each other's lives again and if they can put aside their resentment for one another, maybe they could bring something incredibly precious to each other. But nothing has ever been uncertain.

This is the story of two opposite persons who share a burning passion that may slowly bring them closer... or make the hatred they already feel for each other even more intense.

2- D.N.A. (daddies now available)

The test was positive. I was pregnant. The problem was, I didn’t know who the father was. It could be my ex boyfriend Liam, his best friend Niall or my best friend Louis. Or maybe it could be that boy I randomly had sex with, Harry... I had no idea and I was not going to find out soon.¸

All I knew was I had to tell four boys that there was a possibility for them to be a daddy in less than a year. Can you just imagine their reaction?

Contrary to all expectations, they accepted their fates.. somehow. And no matter who his daddy was, “little human” was going to get a lot of attention from a lot of men. Exactly like me.

This is my pregnancy story. And it was just the beginning of a long journey.

3- MEANT TO BE

When they first met, Louis was all *MAIN GIRL* ever wanted. However, a decade later the high school sweethearts had change and she felt like most of the sparkles she once had were now gone. Then she met Niall and it clicked instantly and intensely and since then, they’ve been seeing each other in secret, lying to their whole entourage about the nature of their relationship. Feelings started to grow, things started to change, and maybe, just maybe, it’s meant to be. Or maybe not.

A tale of broken hearts, unforgettable love and many… way too many lies.

4- LIVING WITH LOUIS TOMLINSON

Call me Queen Catastrophe. I lost my job, my boyfriend, my best girl friend and my apartment on the same day. Just a little friday afternoon like all the others, right?

Thank god, my best friend Louis was there to save the day. Nothing unusual. I was supposed to crash at his apartment for one night and then walk on my pride and go back to my parents to admit how much of a failure I really am.

However, Louis had other plans : he wanted me to move in with him. That’s when my story really starts. Mutual feelings, drunken sex, grocery shopping, fights that end up with porcelain thrown around the kitchen (I’m an intense person, I know) but most of all, his best guy friend stealing his (our, now) couch at least 5 nights a week.

I despise Niall Horan with all my heart. Him and his stupid charm, his flirty smile and his hands that always ended up in places they shouldn’t. He was threatening to come between Louis and I. He was slowly taking more space in our apartment… and in my heart.

Fuck, I hate Niall Horan with a passion.

5- FOR YOUR LOVE

After months of trying to get pregnant, Niall and his long-time girlfriend found out she was sterile. The news obviously shook their relationship and sparked a few arguments but after a long discussion, they found only one solution : hire a surrogate mother. As days go by, Niall's relationship gets harder and harder to save, and his connection with the surrogate mother of his child becomes tighter. Soon, he gets caught in feelings he can't explain and definitely can't understand. But life is not as easy as just following your feelings.

A story of unsettling feelings, confusing relationships, a deep and strong connection but mostly, decisions impossible to make. Can this really end well?

6- DATING FOR DUMMIES

*MAIN GIRL* has tried blind dates, dating apps, and speed dating to find her soulmate with no good result. Niall has tried pretty much the same without much more success. With all the bizarre, creepy and incompatible persons they meet, they're so close to give up on love until they meet each other through a friend. After a bottle of wine and a long discussion, they start thinking that maybe they were the problem, and that they're too dumb for dating. That's when they decide to make a list of what they individually want and need on a first date and finally decide to try it together. Unfortunately, things rarely go as planned and they will both realize that feelings can't be controlled.

When all else fails, the solution will always be to follow your heart.

7- THE BREAK-UP PLAN

*MAIN GIRL* and Niall's relationship had started when they had barely entered their teenager years. Now, over 10 years later, they feel like something is missing. They didn't know anything else besides each other and it had to change. They still planned on spending forever together but their lack of experiences and mistakes seemed to be an obstacle between them.

They agreed on  break that was not really a break. for six whole months, they would be able to do whatever they wanted to do with whoever they wanted to. Going to parties, leaving for a whole weekend with friends without giving any news, dating and even screwing whoever they wanted, nothing was out of reach.

They only had one rule : honesty. Every friday night, they'd meet and spend the whole night together, talking, making out or just cuddling until they'd fall asleep, to make sure their love was preserved.

Unfortunately, things rarely go as planned and seeing the person you love the most in the world be happy without you is something almost impossible to accept.

A story about angry tears, painful jealousy, sweet sweet revenge and realizing who your real soulmate is. Watch out, it's gonna hurt.

8- HOT MESS

*MAIN GIRL* has always been a bit of a rebel who didn't really care about much. She just enjoyed life the way she wanted to and never really paid attention to anything else. If she wanted something, she did everything she could to get it, no matter who she'd hurt in the process. After a few years away from her hometown, family and friends, she finally comes back to realize that a lot of things have changed. Jumping in her twin brother Liam's life without being invited, she's about to make a mess of everything he had made so much effort to build by flirting with every single one of his friends without any shame. She's not looking for a relationship, she's just looking to have some fun and break a few hearts... but perhaps, she's about to make a mess of her own heart.

Sometimes, you play the game and some other very rare times, the game plays you.

9- 15 Complicated Rules

I have no idea how I got into this mess but somehow, I ended up with 4 different fuck buddies. I thought I was going crazy until I made a strict schedule of the days and time I would see them, and wrote down a few rules I had to respect myself. A useful guide to manege my 4 fuck friends. Monday for my ex boyfriend, tuesday for my co-worker, wednesday for my old best friend and thursday for a family friend. It could work, right?

I've never been much of an organised person but I honestly thought I could make this work. Everything went as planned for a few months until I broke one rule after the other. That's when I knew I was in deep shit. These are my 15 complicated rules to have fuck buddies. And this is the story of my downfall and the incredible mess I put myself into. After all, rule 15 was 'Never Fall In Love' and I guess that's something I couldn't control, even if I wanted to.

10- DISCONNECTED

When *MAIN GIRL* switches college to finally follow her dreams, she was ready to face anything and everything that would come her way. After all, she had been through so much already, right? The problem was, she didn't expect to be stuck in a room with someone who gets on her last nerves because of a paperwork mistake. Despite trying to find an other place to live or spend her time talking to the administration, she had to face the fact that this situation wouldn't change for a few months. Niall knew how to piss her off and he clearly abused that superpower, doing anything and everything he can to annoy the most pretentious and stuck-up person he had ever met. Perhaps fate is having a good laugh, because they seem to get stuck together way more often than not, but it's not until they let down their defense that they will see who the other really is... if that ever happens.

Apparently, some people are in your life to teach you something and make you grow. Perhaps, if you take the time to listen to them and open up to them, your karmic soulmate can turn into your twin flame... or not.

11- NEW ANGEL

When *MAIN GIRL 1* breaks up with Niall, he takes it harder than he thought he would, realizing in the process all the feelings he had for her. After a few weeks locked by himself in his room, his friends take him out on a crazy night and he decides he needs someone else, if only to get over the girl he loves. That’s when he meets *MAIN GIRL 2* and bring her back home.  However, on the next morning, he realizes he doesn't want her to leave, and that despite the feelings he has for *main girl 1*, he could definitely develop something with *main girl 2*. Everything is going amazingly well for a few weeks until what Niall never thought would happen actually happens : *main girl 1* calls him to tell him she regrets leaving him. Now confused and stressed, Niall is going to have to make a choice between the girl he thought he'd spend his life with, and a girl he just met that makes his heart race. And he's going to get help on his journey from someone he would never have thought of.

A story about making choices, creating connections, messy hearts and confusing emotions.

(i have many ideas for this one but i dont want to give everything away!)

[thats-not-how-that-works]

So this is kind of a bitch to do. for what ever reason journaling isn’t as easy as it was when i was younger. and now as an adult there is something nerving about writing things down in a book that someone can find and read and know my “deepest darkest secrets”. i guess theres something comforting in an internet forum, password protected, anonymous, and realistically; i have less of a chance of anyone reading this post than finding a notebook and reading it. 

my therapist tells me all the time to write about my “experiences” and my mom is like “start a blog that no one will read!” (literally my moms thinking because i’m a nervous wreck). i thought about this my whole drive home today. I thought about what witty things i could write about as my first entry. how i would use fake names to keep anonymity. the kinds of things i would disclose. would i make this based on mental illness? chronic illness? heart break? over coming struggles? perpetual existential dread? who’s to say i won’t make it about that. can’t avoid the existential dread. 

so it goes. ive been avoiding going to therapy. and the current pandemic is no excuse because tele-health is like the new hip thing to do. i’ve just been avoiding it and just about everyone else. i haven't been myself for the last couple of months...year...sish. in reflecting on it, i realized where i was (or wasn't). this mental episode, almost like a black out stupor went on for months. it wasn’t until the last week or so i realized how long i was in that fit. i acted and did things that were so far from me. i’m not proud of any of it, and don’t really care to recall what i can of it at the moment. that being said, as the year comes to a close: i can say that i have found some kind of stability, which is more than most can say they have. there are really no external factors creating chaos in my little bubble. so if shit is going good, what am i avoiding? theres the breakthrough. as cliche as it absolutely sounds, the chaos is inside me. 

so there was a good bit to unpack in that realization. and it could; not saying that it does, but could explain some of the recent developments. i have been slowing coming out of this “episode” for probably about 2 months now. as i’ve gotten older, i have become an extremely careful person. as someone who used to throw caution to the wind, you couldn’t touch me! young forever! but alas, i have become fragile, skeptical, still untouchable, but in a different way. as i’m coming out of what ever this may be, i’m isolating myself, protecting myself. i’m not out of the woods yet. 2 months of vague clarity isn't enough time to heal multiple decades of trauma. so i’m treading lightly, dissociating further away because i’m terrified of going back to where ever i went. i don’t want to talk to anyone. but on the other hand, it’s lonely over here. 

my therapist asked me what i needed, and the only thing i could think of was that i needed time. 

its like that weird moment when i realized theres nothing else going on to distract me. nothing so dire to consume my attention. no excuses other than i just don’t fuckin want to deal with it. do i owe anyone that? myself? that’s a whole other thought to unpack. 

i’m going to try and go back to therapy consistently. as much as i just don’t want to deal with me, existing is just so more of a pain in the ass when i’m fighting myself all of the time. what better time to work on myself than a pandemic? still not the first thing on my to do list. sometimes i feel like i don’t have much of a choice. 

[burnedbyshoto]

if you sent any asks (recommendations for things don’t count as I have to look around!) since october 17 until october 22 it is in here :)

anon said: The header for your askbox response post is *aesthetic*. I think it’s a really good idea to post one every few days if you have the time. ❤️

well, thANK YOUUUUU!!!!! I put in a whopping 10 minutes into it because I had no idea what I was doing! i’ll definitely be doing asks this way now though.

big dick kiri anon said: !!!!!! ILY HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY PLS HYDRATE 💙💙❤️❤️ -bigdickkiri

Omg love! Please don’t worry about kinktober just breathe! Take your time and try to relax 💙❤️- bigdickkiri

DAMN, that is a LOT. Please look after yourself and don't stress about it love!! - bigdickkiri

I'm very excited. BUT PLEASE LOOK AFTER YOURSELF, DO NOT FORCE ANY OF THIS OMG - bigdickkiri

AHH, AMAZING, TALENTED SWEETHEART, GORGEOUS LOVE, HAVE A INCREDIBLE DAY AND HYDRATE - bigdickkiri

I believe I did have a good day, and I am actually super bad at hydrating, buT ILL TRY TO GET BETTER!!!!

I am breathing!!!! JUSTTT BREATHEEEE!!! I am taking my time now and relaxing to the best of my ability :D thank you so much bdk I love you with all my soul

theres always a lot, but if im not doing a lot I dont do anything so on one hand.... it’s okay LMAO but I will continue to try and not stress :D

BDK I WOULD NEVER WANT TO MAKE YOU THINK IM FORCING THIS OUT OF MEEEE ILL TRY MY BEST TO MAKE YOU PROUD

GHSOGHJIAORGJRGIRAHG YOURE AMAZING, BEAUTIFUL, TERRIFIC, INCREDIBLE!!!!!!! YOU HYDRATE AND MAKE SURE YOU KNOW THAT I LOVE YOU

@bread-theduck​ said: We love you and support you ❤ dont push yourself, your mental health is so much more important that kinktober haha. Take all the time you need, we're right here and open if you wanna talk~

I don’t really try to push myself... it just happens subconsciously D: but thank you for the love and support!!!! my mental health is stronger than I give it credit though

anon said: listen! we all appreciate you and your writing dearly but! I think we can all agree that we want you to be okay mentally and physically before you make yourself write! kinktober can wait! you’re more important!! at the very least, pls take a break for tonight.

I honestly can’t even remember when i said I was tired, but thank you for your kind words regardless!!!! I am trying to get better at it because i don’t want to disappoint you guys D:

@saintbullet​ said: Please take care of yourself!!! DONT risk your health for writing. We care about you so much! Be careful 💕💕💕

I know I push myself a lot, and i’m really sorry for scaring you all!!!! I am trying though, and it just has a lot to do with my mental fatigue and that im judging some hard classes right now then it has to do with anything

anon said: hey it'll be alright! idk whats wrong but i promise everything will work out like its supposed to! you just take care of yourself and take as much time as you need to feel better!! we love u!! ♥️

It wAS MY PERIOD I REMEMBER NOW AHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! I LOVE YOU TOOOOOOOO WITH ALL THE LOVE MY HEART POSSES!!!!!!

anon said: periods can be a pain so pls take care of yourself!! drink lots of water and rest up!!!

my period is the worst, if she was a person i’d block her and avoid her irl!!!!!!!!

anon said: Lol ok so gay for Mina anon back and no, I was not the anon who requested it. But lmao, let me take this time to whole heartedly thank that anon for quenching my thirst anyways

oh whoops, sorry for thinking you were someone else D: iM GLAD TO SEE THAT YOU WERE HAPPY WITH IT!!! READER WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A BAD GUY BUT I COULDN’T FIGURE OUT HOW TO MAKE IT WORK LMAO

anon said: I am just planning on hanging out and reading all the lovely writing that comes from this

i’m pretty sure this is about my nsfw/sfw headcanons, and honestly im sooo very excited to start working on them!!!!!!!!

anon said: you have no idea how happy I got when I saw u posted for mina like UGH MY WIFE I LOVE HER SO MUCH 🥺🥺🥺 N GIVING US GAYS AMAZING CONTENT UR AMAZING MWAH MWAH KEEP BEING THE PERFECT ANGEL U ARE 🥺🥺💞💗💖💕💓💝

AHHHHH IM SO GLAD YOU LIKED IT MINA IS LIKE MY FAV CLASS 1-A GIRL SO I LOVE HER SO MUCHHHHHHHHHHH YOURE AMAZING AND I LOVE YOU AND YOURE AN ANGEL!!!!!!!

many a anons said: Sorry I didn’t see the part where you said not to request characters that were already on the list I thought that was the list of character we could vote for.

so sorry I accidentally sent a character in that has already been requested, Tumblr didn't show me the follow up posts ;;

nooo I didn’t see the list I’m so sorry 😭😭😭

LOL ITS OKAYYYY. y’all were hoes and kept sending me shouto who I couldn’t even think about deleting from my list... so... you are lucky >:(

anon said: hello! not a request here but take care of yourself anc stay hydrated bb 🥰🥰

I got my water right next to me rn bby :D

anon said: be todoroki’s girlfriend

bitch I am todorokis WIFE, why would I need to dress up???

@girl-with-a-mentality​ said: You can be todoroni for Halloween.

....you right...

anon said: Thirst post infoo ;3 I found a doujinshi of Bakugo being teased and toyed with sexually with by Ochako, Yaomomo, and our lovely momma Mina

...send it

anon said: GIRLLLLLL

ANONNNNNNNNNNNNN ;)

local dumbass anon said: local dumbass is here once again, i thiink you know who i am and might've found my ig buuuuuut..?

uh.... I don’t know???????? I only followed people on insta if you gave me your handle or followed me first.... also did you cut your bangs?

anon said: Your Monoma scenario was really good!If we’re being honest, though, Monoma would literally start foaming at the mouth if he saw anyone from 1-A making physical contact with his s/o, ESPECIALLY Bakugou. They would have to call animal control because there would be a rabid Monoma in the dorms lol

okay... while you’re not wrong, I just thought 18 year old monoma should have grown up just the tiniest bit! plus his obsession is controlled because of his insecurity so LMAO IDK I JUST THOUGHT MAYBE UGH

@awkward-theaterkid​ said: I was reading your Day 19 Fic but I couldnt take it seriously, the title "My Way" kept reminding me of the Backstreet Boys "I want it that way" and it keeps popping up while I read it 😂

as someone who only heard that song because of b99 I read this and immediately thought of b99 LMAOOOOO

🍒💥anon said: URGENT PSA: LYSSA IS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING AND I LOVE HER -🍒💥

Hello Queen Lyssa, I finally read "And They Were Roommates" and have absolutely no idea why I put it off so long! ITS A MASTERPIECE. Each chapter is addictive and the slow burn and angst destroyed me 😭 The smut in the final chapter is flawless and sooooooooooooooooooo H O T. Shoto wasnt even my favorite character but he might have to be now (or at least in my top 3) 😰 This is my new favorite series and I cant wait to re-read it!!!! YOURE AMAZING AND ILY. You own my soul now -🍒💥

URGENT PSA I LOVE YOU CHERRY EXPLOSION AND YOURE AMAZING :D

ATWR holds a special place in my heart uwu.... HAOGHIOSRGSIOGJSIHG THANK YOU!!!!! SHOUTO IS AN AMAZING CHARACTER WHO I LOVE WITH ALL MY HEARRTTTTTT

~ thank you to @didyoumeanme​, @kittenlordofdarkness​, @soafers​ for submitting memes and animal pics for my rommate, much appreciated :D ~

anon said: Did the local dumbass anon ever cut their bangs? Do you know?

....I dont know, but I just asked her rn >:)

this paragraph is dedicated to those surrounding to the meltdown mess that occurred yesterday. to each and every one of you who sent me kind words via my askbox or directly contacting me, thank you. I really want to move past this because I feel by holding on it will make me feel less inclined to write because of my guilt. of course, I do not expect you to forgive me, or trust me in my story of how it went down, because at the end of the day it was my mistake for trusting in someone to write with pure intentions when I didn’t know if she could. im trying to continue on with my best foot forward and im grateful for those of you who trusted in me. I swear I will never push myself again, and that I will instead take my time in order to publish my original work and only my original work and not take anything that comes from a “friend”. know that I love you all, and I dont know how to take it easy so my break lasted a whooping 10 hours, and my blog won’t discontinue until im done with bnha or...I get into medschool which is still 3 years away, I am taking care of myself, im staying hydrated, im trying not to put myself down anymore, I will keep going, & will forever continue to be more careful with what I post. also, no one was really coming for me, so don’t worry if you thought so lol. (to you 9 anons who expressed their kind thoughts to me, thank you. to big dick kiri anon thank you. to @bqkubabey​, @flayvus​, & @ultimate-shit-poster​ thank you so so much you really helped me not drown myself in my own guilt.)

anon said: i hope you’re feeling okay today :((

I am feeling a lot better. unfortuantely I did make myself really sick yesterday because ive never been as stressed in my life ever, but im okay now. there’s nothing I can do more for what happened so I will try to continue on as best as I can and I appreciate you caring... ilysm :)

@ikinabi​ said: Your writing??? Actually god sent 🥵👌 and the way you write Mirio gets me GOING

BAHAHAH NOOOOO ITS NOT PLAFUAOGHJIPRAHAR MY MIRIO PIECE YOU LIKED WAS MY FIRST PIECE ON HIM AND OOO BOY I DID NOT DO HIM JUSTICE

anon said: fuck buddy iida is a thought that has never crossed my mind but now that i’ve seen your post i am intrigued haha

well... it is up :) if you wanna check her out :)

anon said: You dont have to answer if you dont wanna but i just wanna see if your okay. I hope your end your doing well and not stressing.

i’m doing much better than I was yesterday!!! I just needed to rest and calm down and stop attacking myself. thank you for checking in!!! it means so much :,)