#if i knew how to code i would 100% make all of this into a mod

[jakesduskwood]

even statues crumble if they're made to wait

Pairing: Jake x Fem!MC

Genre: Post-Episode 10 Duskwood, Post-Episode 1 Moonvale

Words: 8,916

Summary: It's been three months since the explosion in the mine. Three months since Hannah was found. And MC's accepted that Jake is never coming back. When she gets roped into another missing person's case, it makes for the perfect distraction. Jake is dead. It's fine. That is, until she finds herself on the phone with Alan Bloomgate who says he has something to show her. But it's fine. Jake is dead.

Until he's not.

EPISODE-1 MOONVALE SPOILERS AHEAD (MAYBE)!

[ A/N: Hello! :)

I know it's been a while since I've done this, but I finished Moonvale Episode 1 and if you've seen the ending (and used its Duskwood code), you know what happened and how excited I was to receive that bit of Duskwood. So, I took it and ran with it, and out came this extremely long fic. I did not proofread this as it took me literally almost 12 hours to write so it is completely and 100% me and my love for Jake and I hope you love it.

Side note: I suck with anything related to timelines, so I made one up on my own. I know Episode 1 of Moonvale takes place over the course of a day or two, but for the purpose of this fic, it made sense to make it longer, so it's not a typo, or me losing my mind, it's just the way my brain processed this.

Enjoy! :) ]

It’s been three months since the explosion in the mine.

Three months since Richy had been killed. Three months since Hannah was rescued. Three months since I had last spoken to Thomas or Cleo or Lilly or…or Jessy. I didn’t blame her then and I don’t blame her now. Any of them, really. I didn’t share the bond they had with each other. I wasn’t from Duskwood. It didn’t matter that we’d experienced a tragedy together—and yes, perhaps them more than me, but I loved Richy too. I had lost Richy too. And Jake—

But mostly, I think they just wanted to forget. To move on. They didn’t want to remember that their friend had been capable of…of that. And I was a constant reminder of that to them. So I understood why we didn’t necessarily talk anymore.

The one person I did keep in contact with from Duskwood, oddly enough, other than the occasional update from Alan Bloomgate, was Dan. We weren’t best friends or anything, but he allowed me to check in on our friends in a way that I didn’t know how to do with anyone else. Maybe because I thought he was the least affected among them. I knew he cared about Hannah, but he wasn’t to her what Thomas or Cleo or Lilly were. And he wasn’t to Richy what Jessy had been.

I’d learned from him that Thomas and Hannah had broken up. There was no bad blood, but Thomas hadn’t quite figured out how to accept the things he’d learned about his girlfriend when she’d been gone, and Hannah hadn’t quite figured out how to re-trust someone after Richy. Even if that person was Thomas. But I’d hoped they would find their way back to each other in the end.

I thought about reaching out to Jessy every once in a while—even just as an apology for everything that had happened. I’m sorry that Hannah was found at the expense of Richy. I’m sorry that he did this to you. I’m sorry I didn’t realize it sooner. We should have. We should have. We should have. I miss you. But I never send it. I’m not all that sure she’d respond anyway.

Cleo and I were never all that close. She has her best friend back, so I think she’s probably as okay as she can be. Helping Hannah find a new kind of normal in a time where her childhood friend had kidnapped her in order to prove a point. I don’t know how you come back from that—I don’t know how you come back from knowing that you killed somebody at all.

I hadn’t found the courage to ask if somebody had told Hannah about Jake.

Not that I think it would matter anyway. I hadn’t heard from him since before the explosion in the mine, which was, like I said—three months ago. I waited the appropriate amount of time—twenty-five days—before I broke down and concluded that maybe he hadn’t survived. Which just piled a shit-ton of guilt onto my shoulders because it was supposed to be me in that mine. He had gone in place of me and now he was dead.

It was the only explanation that made sense. I was used to Jake disappearing for days at a time, but never as long as he had been now. And he didn’t seem like the type to tell me he loved me and then leave without a single explanation. Not unless he had to. But it had been three months and as much as I missed him, as much as my chest ached with the thought that we would never eat Chinese food out of shitty motels and have that on-the-run ending we talked about, I had accepted that he wasn’t coming back.

I wonder if he had known about Richy or if he had died still thinking Michael Hanson was the one who had kidnapped Hannah. I wonder if his last thoughts were of me. Maybe it’s selfish, but I kind of hope they were, because I’m pretty sure I’ll think about him for the rest of my life.

I wonder what it would have felt like to run my hands through his hair. To kiss him. To spend every waking moment with him and know it was because I loved him. Because I would have. Talking to Jake became about more than just finding Hannah. It became a part of my day I looked forward to more than anything else. He confided in me in a way that told me he never had with anyone, maybe not even Hannah, and I needed that from somebody. I needed somebody to trust in me the way that Jake did. I needed somebody to love me the way that Jake did.

It was strange—and maybe a little ironic—the thought that something so beautiful could come out of something so tragic.

Anyway, my point is: it’s been a long couple of months. Of thinking about my friends. Of thinking about Jake. Of wondering if I should have done things differently. I should have gone to Duskwood to help. Not even with the mine, but sooner. I could have. I could’ve gone when Jessy was attacked on the way home. I could’ve gone when the group made plans to cut out of town and hide away in the house Richy had found. Selfishly, I should have. In that moment, when they were settled around the fire and Lilly called me, I had never remembered wanting anything more. I should have grabbed Jake—metaphorically, maybe even literally—and rode it out with them to the end.

I don’t stop missing them after three months. Of wishing things could have been different. Wishing I could have done more. But exactly ninety-five days after the explosion in the mine, seventy days since I had accepted that Jake was never coming back, twenty-two days since I had last heard from anybody from Duskwood (Dan included), my phone dings with a new message.

And the cycle starts all over again.

It’s somebody named Eric, who claims he needs my help to find his friend Adam, who disappeared while he was waiting for a ride in someplace called Redlog Pines. And much like with Duskwood, I have never heard of Redlog, and the case reminds me way too much of Thomas’ first message to me, so much that it makes my chest ache, but I can’t say no because there’s somebody missing, and if I’d say no the first time, God knows where Hannah would be.

So, I say yes, and I help out where I can, and Eric decides he needs to bring about four more friends in on his little plan and I try my best to stay emotionally unattached because I remember everything that happened the last time and I can’t go through that again. I offer up information when I can and keep my words short and careful because I’m not ready to get attached to somebody else I know I might never meet.

I know how this ends.

Two days in, Ash, one of Eric’s friends, brings up my Duskwood past and the unhealed wound I’ve been trying to mend breaks open again. She asks about Richy, and about the mine, and then because I’m me and I can’t help myself, I tell her about Jake. She tells me the news never mentioned another body and I shove that thought to the back of my head because hoping for something that will never come true will kill me.

Four days into Adam’s disappearance, and the police not giving a shit—as Charlie, somebody who reminds me far too much of Richy for comfort, points out—my phone beeps with an incoming call from somebody I haven’t spoken to in a while.

“Go for [MC].” I answer my phone.

Ever since Hannah had been found in the mine and Jake had…you know, my phone had been more silent than I’d gotten used to. Until this new case. But even that—it was only a few days old and I didn’t want to go down the same path with them that I did with my friends in Duskwood. We didn’t really know each other that long, sure—even though sometimes it’d felt like it—but it felt like I’d finally been a part of something. Like, I had found these people who had chosen me for me.

And originally, maybe they had. Maybe they’d had every intention of keeping me around, but then Richy was the Man Without A Face and Alan Bloomgate had rescued Hannah and nothing was the same as it had been when we’d met each other. We knew too many secrets about each other by the time the town settled. Secrets we would have to take to the grave.

Or maybe I’m losing my mind a bit and I had really only been a means to an end.

Either way.

“Alan?” I raise my voice when there’s nothing but breathing on the other end of the line. “Did you mean to call me?”

His tone is clipped. “I found something.”

“You found something.” I repeat.

My heart clenches. For all I know, it might fall into my stomach. As far I know, from watching the news, from what Ash told me, Jake’s body was never found. Richy’s was. Or what was left of him to find, anyway. I had assumed that there just hadn’t been enough of Jake left. The thought left me nauseous, but it was better than hoping for something I knew I could never have.

“I’m sending it to your phone now.” He responds. “Let me know what you think of this.”

And then he hangs up.

That was a riveting conversation, I think as my phone dings with a message. I do my best to ignore my other messages—contacts from Duskwood I’m still not ready to acknowledge—and click Alan Bloomgate. He sent me a video that looks like—oh God.

Immediately, I’m overcome with emotion as an all-too-familiar forest pops up on my phone. It’s a video of Alan’s bodycam footage. He’s searching the Duskwood forest. A forest I’ve seen too many times in the background of other video calls.

I watch as he stumbles upon an object that’s too dark to make out at first. When he gets closer, it’s clear that it’s a backpack. It’s simple. Black. Nothing about it that screams this is mine and I left it here about anybody in particular. You stupid, stupid idiot, I tell my heart when it rattles against my chest in hope. He’s dead.

Alan stands and treks away from the backpack—I want to scream at him to go back, to open it and look through it and tell me if it’s what my heart aches to believe, but I can’t, because this is a video and I’m simply watching with wide eyes, waiting for…for something. But then. But then, he moves further into the forest and I watch as he stumbles upon an object that makes my knees tremble and tears rush to my eyes and my hands shake. A black hoodie. It looks like it’s been through hell, with holes scattered up the sleeves and dirt cakes into the hood, but it’s unmistakably his.

And then—Alan lifts the hood and picks up something that makes me sink to my knees with a sob that wracks my entire frame. Because I’m staring at Jake’s mask. The mask he doesn’t go anywhere without. The mask that protects him. And so my relief is short-lived, because I realize that even if he’s alive—which seems like a very big possibility at this point—he’s alive without the things that he needs to survive.

And then the anger kicks in. Because if he’s been alive, on his own, for three months—why has he not contacted me? Unless he survived the mine but he didn’t survive the after. But that didn’t make any sense. So, okay, he wasn’t dead. But that didn’t make any sense either. He told me he wouldn’t let them catch him. Because catching that meant he would be apart from me. Did something happen that prevented him from being able to reach out and tell me he was at least okay? A quick text that said didn’t die in the explosion in the mine, you don’t need to mourn me, by the way, going off radar for another year. Did he think I would have given up on him?

I wipe my eyes and shoot a message to Alan.

ME: Recently?? Did nobody search the forests before?      

ALAN: Searched the forests for what, [MC]? The logical assumption seemed to be that if anybody was inside the mine when Richy set the fire, they would have perished alongside him. Officers were stationed outside every known entrance and exit. Besides, after the story you and your friends spun around this town, do you think anybody would have gone back into its forests?

ME: But it’s possible?

ALAN: I would say these items had been there for some time. But I would say it is likely he ditched them when he fled the mine, yes.

Another sob tears through my throat. Jake is alive. I don’t know quite what that means for us as of now, but I know it’s the best news I’ve heard since Hannah was found. Jake is alive. He’s out there somewhere. And even if it’s been three months, and even if I’m a little bit mad at him right now, I know that if he was here, I would throw my arms around his neck and hold on to him until someone dragged me off, and even then—I would fight kicking and screaming.

I close out of my messages with Alan and pull up a conversation I haven’t had the heart to look at in quite some time.

ME: Jake’s alive.

LILLY: …

LILLY: Have you spoken to him?

ME: Alan called. He found some of Jake’s things in Duskwood. I don’t know a lot of details. But I know he made it out of the mine.

Lilly types for a long while, but she doesn’t respond. I don’t take it personally. I think it’s probably hard for her to be happy that her brother’s okay while also trying to accept that her sister may never be okay again. Her sister, who had once-upon-a-time been kind-of-sort-of in love with their brother she didn’t know she had. I think that would probably mess with any family’s heads. And on top of all that, you throw in manslaughter and a kidnapping. I wouldn’t wish anybody, not even my worst enemy, to have had to go through what the Donforts had.

When it becomes adamant that Lilly isn’t going to respond, I start scrolling through messages with the rest of the group in Duskwood. I click on Jessy. I’m here if you need me. That had been the last thing I sent to her, a couple of days after Richy’s death. She hadn’t responded. I click out of Jessy’s contact and click on Thomas’ instead. Thank you for everything. That had been his last message to me after we found Hannah. I’d liked it. I hadn’t expected at the time it would be the last thing we’d ever say to each other. I click out of Thomas’ and click on Richy. So, you want to turn yourself in? I’d asked. That was before he called me. Before he lit a match and burned himself and the mine to the ground. Some people would call that heroic. I mostly call him a coward.

I click on Jake’s name. It’s been a while since I read messages between the two of us. Maybe before I had accepted—thought—he was dead. In that twenty-five-day period when I’d hoped with all I’d had that he would come back. I love you. That was the last message he sent me. I’d responded with I love you too, Jake. Then, four days later: Are you okay? A week later: Jake, please, you’re starting to scare me. I know you said you would contact when you could, but it’s been a week. After twenty-five days, when I had finally accepted our fate, I’d sent one final message: I hope you know that I love you, and I will always care about you, but I think it’s time for me to move on. I’m so sorry that I sent you into the mine. It should have been me. And I will probably feel the guilt from that for the rest of my life. Thank you for everything. Take care of yourself, wherever you are.

After that, I had closed out of our messages and hadn’t looked back. Partly because I couldn’t bear the pain of it. It felt like I had given up on him. I hadn’t—if I had thought for a second that he was alive, if I knew then what I know now, I would have never sent that message. But holding out hope for somebody who I thought was a ghost at the time? That was slowly killing me.

It’s only then that I notice the screen flickering. Much like the way it used to whenever Jake would hack into my phone. I don’t think he’s much in the mood to be hacking right now, but somehow, I know it’s him. When had he done this? Recently? If I had opened our messages, would I have seen this ten—twenty—even fifty days ago? It hadn’t looked like this the last time I texted him. Did he see my last message about needing to move on? Was that why he hadn’t reached out to tell me that he was okay? Because he thought I was moving on happily without him?

No, my brain supplies. He wouldn’t. He would reach out anyway, because he knows how much the thought of him not being okay would have destroyed you.

The screen flickers once more and then a message pops up, bright and blue-tinted and clear as day on my phone.

[MC]

I WILL FIND YOU

And the world around me shifts.

--------------------------------------------------

Maybe it sounds crazy, considering I’ve never seen his face before, but I always thought that if I’d ran into Jake one day, maybe on the street or at one of those motels he stayed at or maybe even in Duskwood, surrounded by all our friends, I would know it was him. I would, because it’s him, and it’s me, and we’re the only two people who understand each other quite the way we do.

I still believe that.

I believe it when I book my flight to Duskwood (or rather, twenty miles outside of town, which is the closest airport). I believe it when I board the airplane and find a seat next to a mother with her screaming child and when I shoot off a quick text to Eric to let him know I’ll be MIA for the next few hours, but to message me if he needs anything—and I think about how much easier this case would probably be to solve if we had Jake.

Maybe it would have been harder to find Hannah without me, but I know damn well they would’ve never found her without Jake.

Dan picks me up from the airport. I haven’t told the others yet. Something about it felt off—like I shouldn’t message them and say hey, I know we haven’t spoken in a while, but I’m booking a flight to look into why my maybe-slash-not-really boyfriend left his belongings in a forest we really wish we could forget about, and by the way, can I crash at your place?

It’s quiet on the car ride back into town. I’m looking through my messages from Eric and the group from Redlog Pines and thinking about how I’m Duskwood with this group and I want so badly to laugh because it’s ironic, but Dan wouldn’t understand. He might just call me crazy. Better yet, he would ask how I manage to get myself into these situations, and really, I don’t have an answer for him.

“How have you been?” I ask, just to break the tension, as Charlie, in my messages, tries to persuade his friends to head back into that creepy cave in the middle of the forest. He’s going to get someone killed, I think.

Dan looks over at me. “Are you still with Hackerman?”

My chest squeezes. “His name is Jake, Dan. And we were never really together.”

“Hm.” He nods like he doesn’t quite believe me. “You already know mostly everything that’s been happening here. Thomas and Hannah called it quits. They say it was some mutual decision, but it’s hard to find them in the same room together. Jessy hasn’t been out with us since. I think we remind her too much of Richy. The group’s all changed.”

“And you?” I ask.

He gives me a cheshire-like grin that doesn’t quite meet his eyes. “I’m always the same.”

We make it to Duskwood just as the sun’s going down. Much too late for me to try and trek through the forest and retrace the steps Jake might have taken that night. Not that I think it would help give me any clues as to where he might have gone, but mostly because I wonder if it will make me feel closer to him. We’ve never been in the same place before, and even if he’s not there now—he once was.

“Can you drop me at the police station?”

Dan blinks. “The police station.”

I nod. “Yeah.”

“We answered their questions for weeks, [MC]. I don’t think anything you have to tell them at this point is going to help. The investigation’s closed. Everybody knows Richy did it. He died with the fire in the mine. Everybody’s trying to move on from that.” He works his jaw. “Did you come here to open old wounds after all this time?”

I try not to show the hurt look on my face. “This isn’t about Richy. Look, Alan called me. He asked if I could look at some things. I figured it was better for me to do it in person. That’s it. Nothing to do with Richy. Nothing to do with Jessy. Nothing to do with you.”

He sighs, and I’m not entirely sure he’s going to abide by my wishes until we pull in front of a tiny building—tinier than most—that says Duskwood Police on the sign. Duskwood must not have that much crime. Well, not until this, I suppose.

“Thank you.” I tell him as I reach over to undo my seatbelt and climb out of the car. “This is a nice ride, by the way.”

He raises a hand in some mock-salute. “Need me to pick you up?”

“Nah.” I shake my head. “Think I’ll explore the town for a little bit.”

“Suit yourself.” He shrugs and then he’s off.

I square my shoulders and take a deep breath before opening the door to the police station. It wasn’t like Alan asked me to come down here. He hadn’t. Even during the investigation into Richy’s death and Hannah’s kidnapping, when he questioned us, he never asked me to come to Duskwood. We’d done way too many video calls and phone calls and at one point, I had asked if he thought it would be easier for me to come to Duskwood, to which he responded back, are you ready for that?

No, I hadn’t been. I’m not even so sure I was now. But knowing that Jake was alive, that here was the last place was, I had to try.

“Can I help you?” The woman at the front desk asks.

I clear my throat. “I was wondering if I could speak to Alan Bloomgate. I’m one of—I was involved in the Hannah Donfort case. My name is [MC].”

Her eyes widen. “Give me a moment.” She stands and heads to some back office—which looks to me more like a closet—and then returns with a clipped smile. “He’ll be right out.”

Apparently, she isn’t lying, because not two minutes later, Alan is stepping out from the same door and staring me down. I hold his gaze and hope it says that I’m not here to argue. I will tell him my truth, but only my truth, not Hannah’s, not Jake’s, not anybody else’s.

“I was wondering when I would see you.” He says.

I shrug one shoulder. “Isn’t a few months later better than never?”

“Let’s go into my office.” He says, and leads me around the desk and back into the closet space he had come out of. He sits behind the desk and motions for me to take a seat opposite him. “I’m just going to guess you’re not here to talk about Miss Donfort.”

“I want to see them.” I tell him. “His things. I want to see them for myself. And whatever you want from me in return, I’ll give to you.”

“You’re playing a dangerous game here, [MC].”

“He isn’t a game to me.” I snap back and then sit back and try to relax. “I appreciate that you called me. It’s—I helped you find Hannah. I would do it again. Even with knowing the things that we do now, I would do it all again. That’s how much that group means to me. That’s how much he means to me. I’m not asking you to break any rules or to lie for him or to—to let him hide in your basement for the next five years. I’m just asking you to show me what you found.”

He stares me down for a moment. Then, he sighs, says “wait here for a minute” and disappears to another room. When he comes back, it’s with an evidence bag in his hand filled with the objects I saw on his bodycam footage. My breath hitches in my throat.

“I can’t let you touch them.” He says as he lays them in front of me.

I stare into the eyes of the mask. “Did you tell anybody that he’s alive?”

“I don’t know that he’s alive,” is all the answer he gives, which is an answer to my question. I slide my gaze down to the black hoodie, to the dirtied sleeves and muddy hood, and think about the fact that Jake wore this. I’m so close to him.

And yet I’ve never been further away from him.

“Thank you.” I tell him. “For—for this. And for listening to me about Hannah. If you hadn’t, I—I don’t know what would have happened. How much longer he would have gone on for. If he would have ever stopped.”

Alan’s silent for a minute. Then, he clears his throat. “You know, it was strange to me. Both Hannah and yourself swore to me that neither of you knew the other.”

“I don’t.” I swear.

It was one of the (albeit many) things that didn’t make sense to me. How Hannah got a hold of my number. How she sent it to Thomas. She’d told Alan she hadn’t really remembered texting him my number at all.

“I believe you.” He reassures. “I just think it’s strange. One mistake, if you can call it that, and you throw yourself into a missing persons case to help a stranger.”

“They’re not strangers.” Even though Hannah is kind of still a stranger.

“But they were.” Alan reasons. “You had no reason to say yes to helping Thomas. I doubt anybody would have held it against you if you turned the other way. But you decided to follow this until the end. To make sure they found Hannah. And you care about them. Maybe that’s why I find that I’m more lenient with you than maybe I should be. Why you’re sitting across from me right now calling the shots. Why I’m not asking you about the hacker.”

“I wouldn’t tell you if you did.” I look him in the eye so he knows I’m telling the truth.

He returns my gaze. “Maybe that’s the other reason.”

“Hm.” I acknowledge before I turn my gaze away—from him, from the objects that I know belong to Jake and it takes everything in me not to snatch them up and run. “Well. Thank you for allowing me to steal some of your time. For letting me—” I cut myself off before I say something that makes me break down in a fit of tears in front of him. “—just thank you.”

Leaving the station is easier than coming in. I’m still not any closer to knowing where Jake is than I was when I arrived here, but there’s a comfort in knowing he walked these streets. I wonder what he would think if he knew I was here. He hadn’t wanted me to come to Duskwood when everything was happening…but now that it was over, would he be happy that I was here? That I had come to Duskwood to piece together where he might have gone? Would he track my location and come to find me and…or was I grasping at straws?

It felt like I had just gotten him back. Not really, not entirely…but knowing that he was alive, that he was out there somewhere, maybe thinking of me and looking for ways to come back, to live the life we talked about when he asked me if I was sure…that was worth it. The thought that we could maybe someday have that—even if it was a twenty percent chance.

I check my phone again to see a new message from Ash. She’s asking me if I’ve heard from Charlie in the last few hours. Apparently, he’s AWOL, and I want to help, really, but…it doesn’t really feel like that’s where I am at the moment. Not just physically—obviously—but mentally. We got lucky with Hannah. And that was really only because we had Jake. Adam didn’t have a Jake. Or…maybe he did and I just hadn’t met him yet. But I already had a Jake and I didn’t want another one.

Maybe—if I found him, I could convince him to help. That was a big maybe. Not because I thought Jake would say no. He would say yes to anything I asked of him. The maybe was whether or not I could find him. More likely, the maybe was whether or not he would find me.

Three months ago, I would have been able to come to Duskwood and have no shortage of things I wanted to do and people I wanted to see. Now, as I stand outside Duskwood’s police station, I feel nothing but loneliness. Nobody knows I’m here. I could pass Thomas on the street and he wouldn’t even know it. I could run into Jessy at the library and she would walk by me without even a second thought. Why would they? I hadn’t told them I was here.

So, with nothing left to do, I walked. Toward the town center. Toward the library that Jessy showed me on our walk through Duskwood. Toward the Rainbow Café where I knew that Cleo and Hannah had spent a lot of their time. Toward the Black Swan. Toward—

Ah, what the hell.

I had nothing better to do and The Aurora seemed like a great place to drown my sorrows. To think about my next steps. To figure out—now that I was in Duskwood—what I planned to do. The thing about Jake being so secretive (and on the run) was that I couldn’t retrace his steps. I wasn’t able to ask if anyone had seen him. One, because he would make sure nobody had. And two, because three months was a long time to forget somebody’s face if you didn’t know who you were looking for.

I pull open the door to the bar and step inside. Immediately, I’m hit with the stench of whiskey and a handful of chatter. Duskwood’s a small town. And The Aurora definitely proves it. The bartenders move melodically around each other, serving patrons on the other side of the bar. If you walk down further, there’s a handful of tables.

And dead in the center is a table with my friends. Or, some of them. Dan and Cleo and Lilly. Could I still call them my friends? Ex-friends, maybe? Acquaintances? I didn’t know what they were. Or how to address them. It wasn’t like we had gotten into a fight. We didn’t stop talking for any reason other than that we did. We stopped talking.

I make a beeline for the bar to avoid a confrontation and plant myself on one of the stools. One of the bartenders—a girl cute with bleach blonde hair and brown Bambi eyes—asks what I want and I channel my inner Dan to order a whiskey—neat.

Looking over my shoulder, I focus on the table of them. On Lilly, who’s smiling at something Cleo said. On Dan, who’s the only one of them who actually knows I’m here. But even he’s focused on the conversation they’re having. It’s strange—to see Dan a part of something I’m not sure he would have been before. It’s nice.

“[MC]?”

I turn my head away from the table of my friends and focus my attention across the bar on someone I should’ve expected to see. “Phil.”

“I thought I recognized your voice from when we talked.” He smiles. “I wasn’t sure, but I saw you staring longingly at them—” He nods towards Dan and Cleo and Lilly. “—and I knew. What brings you around here? I expected you to show up maybe a few months ago, but by now, I thought you’d moved on without us.”

I was tired of the words move on. Like I’d had a choice. Like the people from this town might open their arms and welcome me back into their lives. So I’d been part of the group who’d saved Hannah Donfort. So had a lot of people. It didn’t make me special and everyone here knew it.

I offer him a smile in return. “I’m looking for somebody.”

“Anybody I know?” He asks.

I shake my head. “Nah. At least nobody you would recognize.” I pause. “How’s Jessy?”

“She’s—Jessy.” He answers, like that is an answer. “I don’t know if she’ll ever really be okay with the way things happened with Richy. I wouldn’t expect her to. Obviously. But I don’t know. I think I just thought she would have gone back to her normal life by now. And then I remember that most of her life revolved around him. He was her best friend. She worked for him. And I’m trying to be patient about that. But—” He shakes his head. “Maybe you should talk to her.”

“She doesn’t know I’m in town.”

“Okay.” He hums. “So, you’re not in town for my sister. And you’re not in town for your group of friends because they’re over there and you look like you’d rather be anywhere else. There’s always Hannah, but I don’t think you knew her that well. Or at all. Would I be right to assume this is about a certain hacker who helped to find Hannah?”

“He didn’t help find Hannah.” I defend. “He was the entire reason we found Hannah. I would have never been able to do it on my own. Even with the others’ help. He’s the only reason we found out about—” I pause before I say something I maybe shouldn’t. “It doesn’t matter. He’s the only reason we found her. Everything I did was just dumb luck.”

“That wasn’t what the news said.” A voice cuts in and I turn my attention from Phil to focus on the stranger that slides into the seat beside me. Not too close—a couple inches away. I don’t recognize him. I don’t know him. But I don’t know every person in Duskwood. Maybe a total of like nine or ten. “I’m sorry to interrupt. But I heard you had a lot to do with finding Hannah Donfort. The news said you were some kind of hero.”

I offer him a tight smile. “That’s nice of them. But…if they knew my—friend—knew what he did to find her, I don’t think I would be as much of a hero as everybody says.”

“That’s noble.” He says, eyes meeting mine, and it strikes me at once how handsome he is. He has dark hair. Bright green eyes. Focus, [MC]. I scold. You have a…a someone.

My phone buzzes.

ERIC SENT A PHOTO.

ERIC: What do you make of this?

I sigh and click on the photo. It’s of—some object. Much like the one that was addressed to me on the envelope in Adam’s glove compartment. The image is a bit different—but I don’t know enough about what it means to have an answer as to why.

ME: Was this one addressed to me?

ERIC: Nope. Ash.

“Are you okay?” Phil asks.

I clear my throat. “I’m a popular person—apparently.” A thought strikes. “Have you ever heard of a place called Redlog Pines?”

Phil frowns. “No.”

I turn to look at the stranger. “You?”

“Redlog Pines is a small town about two hundred miles north of Duskwood.” He answers. “Known for their wooded forests, much like Duskwood.”

“Why are you looking into a place with forests as creepy as ours?” Phil asks, incredulously. “Didn’t you get enough of that with Hannah’s case?”

“Yeah.” I sigh. “You would think.”

“Hey, [MC]!”

I wince at the sound of Dan’s voice. Shooting Phil a look that screams please help me to which he shakes his head amusedly, I turn and plaster on a fake smile as I take in the shocked looks on Cleo and Lilly’s faces. I should have known better than to come to The Aurora and talk to Phil when the three of them were having a conversation across the room. I should have known they would sooner or later see me. I just hoped it was later.

“Hey.” I hop off my stool and make my way across the bar to them. “It’s, uh, fancy seeing the three of you here.”

“What are you doing here?” Cleo asks.

“I haven’t really figured that out.” My eyes meet Lilly’s. “It sounds crazy to say it out loud. But I was hoping that—I’m not sure if Lilly told you—”

“That Jake’s alive.” Cleo nods. “None of us ever really thought he wasn’t.”

I don’t think she means it as a dig—but it still feels like one. Like she’s saying you gave up on him you gave up on him you gave up on him even though she’s not and she didn’t really know him and the only person I can talk to at this table who even might understand is Lilly and even—Jake didn’t confide in her the way he did me.

“Right.” I acknowledge. “So I thought that maybe if I came here, I could trace his steps from when he was here and—I haven’t really thought that far ahead. It’s not like I thought he left me any clues in the forest or anything like that. I don’t think he expected me to be here. He hadn’t wanted me to be the last time we talked. But that was before everything happened.”

Lilly’s eyes track behind me. “Does Jake still have Nymos on your phone?”

“Uh.” I furrow my brows. “I think so. I hadn’t heard from him in a while, but I went back and read through our messages after I talked to Alan and…my phone glitched, like it used to when Jake had hacked it. And then this message appeared on my screen.”

“And by chance, can Nymos track your location?”

“What—” I shake my head. “Maybe. I don’t think I ever really asked him. It didn’t seem necessary at the time.”

“Uh huh.” She focuses on me once more. “Let’s say, for one minute, that Jake has access to Nymos who has access to your location.”

Cleo must catch onto something I’m not sure of. “Jake didn’t want you here.”

“Uh, thank you?”

“You know that’s not what I mean.” She waves me off. “He didn’t want you in Duskwood. He had been adamant about that when we were talking about the mine. That’s why he went. If you showed up in Duskwood—”

“Nymos would have alerted him.” Dan finishes.

“Okay…” I’m not entirely sure I’m on the same page as them. “So—you think that Jake found out when I came to Duskwood.”

“Correct.” Lilly beams like she just solved life’s greatest mystery.

“And you think he would—come find me?”

She smiles sympathetically at me—like I’m the world’s biggest idiot for not realizing what she has been trying to say sooner. “I think he already has.”

“You think Jake’s in Duskwood.” I deadpan.

“[MC].��� Cleo grabs my shoulders and turns me around. “We think he’s in this bar.”

Stranger, as I had nicknamed him—AKA the guy sitting beside me at the bar, with Phil and Redlog Pines (which he probably only knew about because of me) and the whole Hannah being kidnapped and not taking any of the credit thing—was looking back at me. So was Phil. Like they thought I was the crazy one. Like it would’ve been so hard for him to look and me and say it’s me or anything that might have clued me into the fact that—

“Jake?” I whisper, because I’ve lost quite a bit of sleep over the past couple of months and I’m not one hundred percent sure what—or who—I’m seeing is real. “Are you here?”

He tilts his head and smiles at me. Actually smiles. A bit shyly, like it’s something he’s not used to doing, but maybe like it’s something he could get used to. And I think about how terrible I probably look right now because I’m not wearing makeup and my hair is tousled from constantly pulling at it and my clothes are wrinkled from the plane and the police station and I look like a mess. But our relationship has never been about looks. Clearly. I didn’t even know the person I’d been talking to until Lilly and Cleo and even Dan pointed out the obvious.

“If I—” I close my eyes and open them again. Nope. Still there. “I need you to still be there by the time I reach you because it’s been a—” I sniffle. “—it’s been a rough few months and I don’t think I could handle you disappearing again.”

He stands from the stool he was sitting on and shuffles his feet. Like he’s not quite sure where he’s supposed to stand. If he thinks about moving, I’ll tackle him onto the floor of The Aurora and then apologize to Phil later. It feels like everything I wanted is right here in front of me. And I’m scared to death that it’s not real.

“What’s one thing you would take with you if you were stranded on an island?”

His smile stretches. “My computer.”

And that—that’s what breaks me. I think I might start blubbering like an idiot but I don’t remember the time it takes for me to cross the measly twenty feet between us. All I remember is grabbing his black hoodie—because of course—and dragging him to me. I don’t kiss him, despite how much I want to, because I don’t want our first kiss to be tainted with my snot and tears. Instead, I bury my face in his collarbone and wrap my arms around his neck and hold on for dear life.

Because I can. Because he isn’t dead.

“Y—You’re here.” I pull back and cup his face with my hands. “How are you here?”

“You came to Duskwood.” He responds, and then—hesitantly—he presses his lips to my forehead in a kiss. “Alan called you.”

“He found your things in the forest.” I whisper back. “He said they’d been there a while. The police hadn’t searched the forest because they assume you died in the mine.”

“They aren’t looking for me here.” He confirms. “I didn’t expect it to take so long for them to find my belongings, but I anticipated that you would find out. At the time, it wasn’t safe for me to reach out and contact you. They kept on my trail for a while before they assumed I died in the mine with Richy.”

“Why didn’t you contact me then?” I ask. “Is it because of what I last messaged you? I didn’t mean it—I swear, I thought you were dead. If I had known you were alive, I would have waited, however long it took. I wasn’t trying to give up on you.”

“Hey.” He places both hands on either side of my face. “I know. I know that, [MC]. That was never why I didn’t reach out to you. I know you said you wanted this life with me. But I didn’t want that for you. But I was selfish. I couldn’t let you go. So I was trying to find a way to make both of those things true. But I was always coming back to you.”

“And did you?”

“Come back to you?” He asks.

I sniffle. “Find a way to make both of those things true.”

“Not entirely.” He admits. “Nymos alerted me you had boarded a plane headed in the direction of Duskwood and I—” He shook his head. “I knew I would find you here.”

“You could have found me sooner.”

He lets go of my face and he feels like he takes my skin with him. “It wasn’t that easy.”

“It could have been.” I demand.

I’m angry again. Now that I know he’s alive and okay and that he could have found me, I’m angry that he didn’t. I told him I would choose that life with him. Over and over and over. He didn’t need to make the decision for me. He didn’t need to try and protect me. And yes, maybe the fact that he did makes my heart flutter a tiny little bit, but that’s besides the point.

“I told you before you left me.” I tell him and I’m aware it sounds like we’ve been in a relationship for five years and I’m aware that everybody in here is watching and listening in on our conversation and they probably all know we’re who we are, two people involved in helping to find the kidnapped Hannah Donfort, and maybe that’s all we’ll ever be in this town. But I would rather be the girl who found Hannah Donfort in Duskwood with him than be me anywhere else. “You told me you would let me go with you.”

“That was before I told you I loved you.”

My heart skips a beat. It screams I love you I love you I love you back, but I say— “What does that have to do with anything?”

He looks somewhat amused. Like he knows I would never hold it against him. It’s clear to both of us that I wouldn’t because even though I’m glaring up at him with my furrowed eyebrows and my lips pouted, I’m still pressed tightly against him. His hands—even though they’ve moved from my face—are now resting on my hips. Pulling my tighter to him. There’s no space in between us. If it was up to me, I’m pretty sure there never would be again.

“[MC].” He says, and oh god I wish he would say my name every day for the rest of his life. “Have I—in the short time we have known each other—ever struck you as the type of person who says I love you? But with you…” His words are a whisper against my lips. “It’s easy to fall back into old emotions with you.”

“I want to be angry with you.” I tell him.

He shakes his head. “No, you don’t.”

“No, I don’t.” I agree. “But I might be if you don’t kiss me.”

He brought one finger underneath my chin and tilted it up until our lips were separated by a fraction of an inch. My eyelids fluttered. I didn’t care that everyone in here was about to see just how much Jake meant to be. I didn’t care because I had waited too long for this. And then—just as I’m leaning toward him to press our lips together, he whispers— “[MC]?”

“Hm.” I acknowledge.

“Who’s Eric?”

My eyelids crack open and I shove at his chest. “That’s what you’re worried about right now? Here I am, in front of you, covered in snot and tears and who-knows-what-else because you’re here right now, and you’re worried about some guy I don’t even know?”

“Who’s Eric?” He repeats.

“Ugh.” I run my hands through my hair and take a step back. “I don’t know. He’s the other side of Thomas or whatever you want to call him. If we lived in a different town.” I glare back at him and try not to admit that I think his jealous side is a little cute. “He messaged me. Thought I picked up his friend from some parking lot and I didn’t, but his friend sent him my number, and it was Hannah all over again. I’m trying to help them.”

“This Adam has been sending you a lot of videos.”

“You know I hate when you hack my phone.” I complain, even though I really don’t. Even though I had prayed for him to help me with this case. “I really don’t know Adam. Like—even less than I know Eric.

“But you know Eric.”

“For like a week.” I reassure. “He added me to this group chat with him and like three other friends of his. They’re desperate to find Adam who has apparently dropped off the face of the earth and I don’t know what to do. I had you with Hannah’s case. And you knew her. And they—” I look over my shoulder at Cleo and Dan and Lilly, who are pretending like they’re not listening in even though I know and Jake knows they are. “—they knew her. And obviously Adam’s friends must know him but I don’t and you don’t and there is no Jake in Redlog Pines.”

“I don’t trust him.” He shakes his head. “Any of them.”

I laugh. “Jake, you didn’t trust half the people in this bar when we first started talking.” I look over at Phil and then Dan. “It doesn’t mean they committed a crime. If I had backed off when you asked me to help you find Hannah, we may never have.”

“I thought that was all thanks to me.” He sounds smug, like that little smiley face he loved to annoy me with (AKA make me fall in love with him). “Did he flirt with you?”

“No.” I deadpan. “I think he was focused on his missing friend.”

“I was focused on my missing sister.” He shoots back.

I close my mouth. Alright. He has a point. But I wasn’t flirting with Eric. He was focused on finding Adam and I was focused on mourning—and then finding—Jake. Maybe it felt like Eric and I were two sides of the same coin. Maybe that’s why I agreed to help him. Because I didn’t want to happen to him what I thought had happened to Jake—to me.

“You’re being ridiculous.” I say instead. “How do you think I could ever entertain the idea of being with somebody else when for the past three months—more than that if you count the time we have actually had together—I’ve been focused on you? On discussing Hannah with you and then talking to you about anything and everything and then worrying about you and then hating you a little for convincing me you should me the one to go into the mine and then mourning you when it was hard to even think about you and then finding you?”

His eyes are wide. I think I’ve rendered him speechless. Which—serves him right. I know he’s not somebody who serves their feelings up on a silver platter. I know that. Obviously, I knew that from the first time I spoke to him. Back when he was nothing more than ??? and I was almost convinced that Dan was right and he was the Man Without A Face—a thought that I now hate with everything in me. But I need him to trust me. Jealousy streak and FBI and the missing persons cases aside, he needs to trust me.

“Trust me.” I cup the sides of his face again. “He’s nothing like you.”

He swallows. “Some people might consider that to be a perk.”

“I don’t.” I say.

And then I’m kissing him and it feels like coming home.

[serverusslaype]

Shameless, pt. 11

Severus Snape x professor!reader fic

Shameless Masterpost

guys im running out of gifs to use ffs

despite that, HELLO!! i am more than 100% certain that you adorable feral little cretins are going to love this chapter holy fk. like i'm actually so excited to see your reactions/comments LOLL

i apologise for the long, long wait, however i wanted to perfect this part, it was really important that i did, otherwise it would be a waste, and kind of cringe. i won't keep you any longer <3

thank you for reading, i hope you enjoy this!! and again, thank you soooo much for all your replies and reblogs and likes they just make me smile all the time, i really cannot believe that people like this, i'm still flabbergasted.

warnings: 18+ further down, minors DNI after the big red *'s. i also put a sign to say where it ends if you're not comfortable reading such things!

if i was any good at coding i'd cover it up, you know how people do on discord, like that spoiler thing. but alas, i am but a technophobe.

(this song is very important during that certain scene so if you will, please listen to it as you read <;3)

onwards and upwards...

Severus stood beside Dumbledore, his hands hanging at his sides, fingers fidgeting thoughtfully at the seams of his his black slacks. Before he was able to speak a reply to the Headmaster, a voice he had hoped he'd never hear again pierced the blanketed silence in the Great Hall. For a moment, both his heart and stomach dropped as he turned his head toward the irritating voice, jaw clenching almost immediately.

"Y/N!" None other than Benjamin Bluewater had called out, his ridiculously well-groomed hair bouncing as he jogged towards you. Severus felt a burning blaze of rage prickle his skin as his eyes observed how Bluewater embraced your rigid form, clearly in shock at his sudden appearance. What the hell was he doing here?

"Ben-" Severus heard you gasp as Bluewater pulled away from you, his hands flying up to cradle your cheeks intimately. Something Severus had done less than an hour ago. The jealousy that was raging inside of Snape was lethal, and he was desperately fighting the urge to rip you from Bluewater's slimy grasp and tuck you within the safe haven of his arms.

Your fearful eyes met Snape's icy ones, setting a kaleidoscope of butterflies free in his stomach. He could tell you were quietly begging him for help, however, he refused to get involved. The last thing he wanted to do was seem suspicious and perhaps trigger an unnecessary reaction from Bluewater. Snape remembered how volatile the boy could be, he served enough detentions with him. In fact, that was one thing that Severus was worried about. He wasn't sure if you knew about his bad temper.

"Are you alright? I came at once when I heard about Black getting into Hogwarts." Bluewater said, his overly-concerned voice dripping with worry. Something didn't sit right with Severus as he watched the two of you. Why didn't Bluewater visit when you had been attacked by a dementor? How does that not warrant a visit but this does? A deep, frustrated sigh left Snape's nose as Ben's thumbs brushed against the apples of your cheeks. Your hands reluctantly rose to sit atop of his forearms, silently soothing his worries.

"Wha-what are you... how...?" You stuttered, cheeks ablaze. You had to take a moment to compose yourself, and it didn't help that Severus's fiery eyes were burning holes into you. Inhaling slowly, you spoke again. "What are you doing here? How did you even get in?"

"Well, it helps when you work at the Ministry of Magic," Bluewater shrugged, a proud, smug smirk teasing his lips. His hands fell from your cheeks and settled on your waist, squeezing you a tad. You tensed up again as you glanced at Severus, your heart going a million miles an hour. Bluewater frowned as he followed your eyes, a flash of surprise crossing his features as he finally noticed the two of you weren't alone. "Erm... Headmaster, Professor... Snape." He greeted awkwardly, offering a nod. Snape wasn't keen on acknowledging him, however, Dumbledore kept it polite, smiling at the boy.

"A lovely surprise, Mr Bluewater." Dumbledore said. It had sounded sarcastic, but that was unintentional.

Severus stared at Bluewater with cold eyes, his gaze slowly falling to where his hands sat comfortably on your waist, taunting him. His mouth twitched bitterly. "How you've grown, Mr Bluewater," Snape commented slyly, his sharp eyes flicking back up to meet Bluewater's. "It feels like only yesterday you were causing chaos here at Hogwarts. More specifically in my classroom." He drawled, eyes narrowing in contempt.

An incredulous huff slipped from Bluewater's nose and a sarcastic grin broke out on his face; his grip on your waist tightening. The jealous fire in Severus exploded. Clearly, there was unresolved conflict between these two.

"I see you've remained the same, Snape." He quipped sharply, tongue like a sword. Severus turned his back to you and Bluewater, his shoulders stiffening as he muttered something to Dumbledore.

There was an awkward silence that fell upon the four of you.

You turned to Ben, keeping your voice low. "Look, I think it's best if you leave." You muttered, an uncomfortable expression slipping onto your face. You nibbled on your bottom lip.

"I'm not leaving until I know where Black is, I need to keep you safe." Ben laughed dryly, his eyes narrowing at you in disbelief. Oh no, no-no-no. He had to leave, there was no way he could stay.

"I'm perfectly safe here," you attempted to reassure him, "I'm surrounded by some of the most talented witches and wizards to ever exist, Ben." An incredulous chuckle fell from your lips as you spoke, a little surprised that he deemed Hogwarts unsafe. How could it be unsafe when Dumbledore was here? Despite that, you couldn't risk him noticing the tension between you and Snape, it wouldn't look good on either of you.

He looked at you with a stiff expression, his gaze flicking to where Snape and Dumbledore stood, eyes hardening as he stared. You glanced away awkwardly.

"I'll stay here until I deem it so, Y/N." Ben said rather sternly, making your brows shoot up in shock. Since when was he like this? This was not the Ben you knew.

"Sorry?" You choked.

"The Ministry gets the final say, irregardless of what you or Hogwarts thinks." Ben tilted his head at you as he stared down at you. "I'm staying." His serious tone of voice made you back down and nod, your lips pursed. There was nothing you could say or do to change his mind.

Shit.

Shit, indeed.

Two knocks sounded at Snape's door, and he audibly sighed, a little vexed that someone had chosen to come and bother him when he'd just settled down - his raging jealousy had finally subdided after two hours of brooding in his office.

"Come in." Snape grunted from his desk, piles of parchment and books surrounding him messily. Usually he was neat, organised - but tonight was rather exasperating. He just about managed to watch another man with his hands all over you.

"Severus," Minerva McGonagall's voice made Snape's head snap up, a startled look adopting his features. He definitely was not expecting the Head of Gryffindor House to be knocking at his door. "I'm sorry to impede, however, I wanted to chat with you. Regarding Y/N." She sighed, her wrinkled lips pouting. His body suddenly felt heavier.

"What about Professor L/N?" Severus asked curtly, looking back down at the pile of assignments in front of him like he had no interest in the subject.

"I wasn't born yesterday, Severus," Minerva said, a stern look taking hold of her face. Snape's jaw ticked, his fingers stiffening in irritation. He sighed and glanced back up at the older witch, waiting for her to continue her lecture. "You need to be careful. She's just a girl." She said softly and stepped forwards a tad, linking her fingers together in front. Why was he getting lectured when he's been the one trying to push you away? Well, he was. Now, all he wanted to do was pull you close to him.

"This is no concern of yours,  Minerva." Severus's brows furrowed harshly, his voice clipped and cold. Minerva's eyes narrowed; his tone rubbing her the wrong way.

"It concerns me when it starts to affect my colleagues." Minerva retorted, her patience wearing thin. She knew this was going to be a hard conversation, especially with someone like Severus. "I just want you to consider things before you cross that line, Severus. This isn't... wise."

It isn't wise? Well, who would've thought that? Not me, apparently, Severus growled in his mind, sighing heavily through his nostrils as he stared at Minerva.

"You think I don't know that?" Severus groaned, shutting his eyes as he reached up to massage his temples. He felt a headache coming on; all this stress wasn't good for him.

There was several seconds of quiet before Minerva spoke again, voice soft. "Do you care for her?"

He kept silent once again.

Minerva felt for Severus, she knew what it was like to care for someone and to have to push them away. In fact, it felt horribly and hauntingly familiar. This was like a walk down memory lane for her. Her head tilted slightly, her eyes softening as she stared at the Potions Master who had his eyes glued to his desk, palms splayed out atop of it as he intensely read through an essay. "I do not want your pity, Minerva," Severus hissed, his head snapping up, a face full of anger, "I have walked down this road before, and I know how it ends. So please, save your sorry for someone else."

Minerva was so used to Snape's flick-of-a-switch emotions that she hardly flinched at his sudden outburst. "Alright." A soft sigh left her as she glanced away from him, her fingers flexing. There was nothing left to say, she knew that Severus knew the risks with you. And you knew the risks with him. For now, she could only let things play out, she wasn't going to play God. If the two of you wanted to do it, who was she to stop it?

"I have a lot of work to complete." Severus grunted, his shoulders hunching up as he sat closer to his desk, burying his nose further into the parchment. Minerva exhaled softly through her nostrils and her lips pouted together again. She blinked, turning around to leave.

As her fingers grasped the rickety door handle, she looked over her shoulder at Snape. "Should you and Y/N choose to take such a risk, Severus," she began, earning another exhausted sigh from him, "don't break her heart. She doesn't deserve to go through that pain. Not at such a young age."

Severus's eyes faltered a tad as he glazed over the messy handwriting laced upon the parchment sat in front of him, as if it were goading him. His breath hitched slightly at her words. Minerva had a point. A very, irritatingly valid point. Severus cared for you - a lot. However, now he found himself questioning whether it was enough - whether he was enough for you. He couldn't pour his whole self into a relationship with you if it wasn't that - his whole self. Were you better off with Bluewater? He could probably treat you better than Severus ever could. Bluewater was young, handsome, somewhat smart... he also had a very good job at the Ministry... Severus was but a teacher, and he was old. Why would you ever settle for someone like him when a boy like Bluewater existed?

The click of his door told him that Minerva had left. Severus buried his face in his hands, his heart twisting and knotting itself as it yearned for you.

Rolling over in your bed, your unwearied eyes skimmed your darkened room, landing on the clock that was hung on the wall. Almost eleven o'clock at night. Ben stirred beside you, the bed creaking and groaning as he shuffled to right, away from you, burying his cheek in the pillow. You glanced at him and sighed, your mind wandering to the thought of Severus. You wondered what he was doing right now. Was he awake or asleep? No, he was definitely awake, that man never slept.

Severus.

Gods, you adored that man. You weren't exactly sure what it was that drew you to him, but perhaps it was just his aura; it was so dark, mysterious. The way the two of you bantered so easily, the conversation flowed like a river and it felt natural, whereas, with Ben... it was... well, it just felt artificial - forced, almost. It wasn't a secret that the chemistry and tension between you and Severus was incredibly palpable - even Minerva had noticed, and suddenly that made you panic - what if Ben notices? Other teachers? The students had even noticed last year when Severus had helped you up the steps when duelling Lockhart. He won't notice, will he? No, he won't be here long enough to.

Hopefully.

You rolled over in your bed again and noticed that Ben had turned back towards you, so the two of you were face to face now. You tucked your hands up and underneath your chin, allowing yourself to stare at his features in the dark. As you laid there, staring, breathing soft and slow, your heart skipped a beat as he shifted slightly; the shadow that was cast against his face suddenly transforming him intosomeone else. Suddenly, he'd grown long, obisidian black hair that framed his face perfectly, his basic nose had become hooked and prominent, his cheekbones turned more defined.

You sucked in a sharp, yet soft breath - careful to keep quiet so you didn't wake Ben - your skin prickling with goosebumps. Was this how hung up you were on Severus? So much so that if you stared too long at someone, they'd turn into him?

Your hand slowly rose to drag itself against your face. Glancing at the clock again, you knew you weren't falling asleep any time soon. You'd been laid there for at least two or so hours, tossing and turning, begging for your brain to shut off so you could perhaps get some sort of shut-eye. So, you chose to get out of bed. Flipping open the duvet, the biting cold of your room enveloped you; a chill shooting down your figure. You shivered slightly as you sat up and twisted yourself on your bum so your legs hung down over the side of the bed. It creaked slightly as you leant forwards to put your slippers on, prompting you to quickly glance behind you to check if it woke Ben - thankfully, it didn't. With a quick exhale of relief, you spun stepped out of bed and padded quietly over to your sofa where your favourite comfy, deep green cardigan was resting over the arm of it.

You picked it up and slipped it on, wrapping the warm, soft and cosy garment around yourself. Headed towards your door, you threw once last look at Ben and clicked open your door, shutting it calmly, making your way down to the one place you only wanted to go at this time of night.

The mossy, damp smell of the dungeons invaded your nostrils angrily, almost making you cough. You forgot how bad the smell could get down here during the autumn and winter months. The cool chill seeped through your wool cardigan, making you pull it tighter against your frame, hurriedly trying to keep every bit of warmth around you before it escaped.

As you neared that certain door, you lingered by it, raising your knuckles hesitantly.

With a stern sigh, you knocked, and awaited his usual grunt of acknowledgement.

"Come in." Came an annoyed tone from the inside just as you expected. You bit the inside of your cheek as you creaked open the door and slipped inside.

"Erm, hi," You squeaked out, closing the door shut behind you and pressing your back against it, staring awkwardly at Severus, who was still sat behind his desk, head down. "What are you doing up so late?" The sound of your voice made him look up, his brows furrowed in confusion.

"I could ask you the same thing, Miss L/N," Severus mused. You couldn't help but smile coyly at him, padding forwards to move closer, your skin tingling with anticipation. "So, what brings you here?" Severus asked, his voice curious, yet there was also a hint of coldness to it. You assumed it was because he was tired - or at least hoped it was that.

"I couldn't sleep." You hummed, folding your arms against your body, the silk skirt of your yellow nightdress shimmering in the low, amber light. Severus found himself glimpsing down at your garment; the sheen of the smooth, rich fabric catching his attention. Your cheeks suddenly simmered from the way his eyes glazed over you.

He looked back up at you. "So, you chose to bother me instead?" Severus quirked a brow.

"Precisely." You smiled bashfully, a quiet laugh slipping from your mouth as you rocked back and forth on your heels, your eyes leaving his to glance nervously around his gloomy classroom.

"How lucky I am." He said sarcastically, leaning back in his chair. Your smile stayed on your face as you rolled your eyes, stomach flipping at his voice.

"It feels weird that almost a year ago, we were in here, brewing that Mandrake potion together." You commented as your eyes fell on the exact desk the two of you had stood at.

Severus's eyes followed yours. "Indeed," he spoke, gazing back at you as you were distracted, taking a moment to admire you. His heart skipped a beat as the corners of your lips quirked upwards into another sheepish smile. Though, he soon felt indifferent to it as the thought of Bluewater slipped into his mind. "That was also the time we spoke about... your friend." Severus added, tutting at the end as if he had to force himself to spit that word out.

"Oh, right, yeah," you said awkwardly, clearing your throat, "you two still seem to absolutely despise each other." You looked at Severus, a rush of butterflies surging through you as you found his inquisitive eyes already glued to you.

Severus only grunted in response, clearly unwilling to talk about Ben. His body stiffened and his eyes had hardened. "Who would have thought that he'd come back to haunt me later on." He huffed, voice soaked in sarcasm. You had to force yourself to keep a straight face, unsure of how he'd react if a smile broke out on your face. You didn't exactly want to get into an argument right now. "I was foolish to think that he'd had enough causing me grief every single period that we shared."

"He was just a boy back then." An amused hum left your lips, though Severus didn't share the same outlook. His face had become stony again, unfeeling.

"He is still a boy now." Severus spat, like the idea of Ben was poison in his mouth. "He's young, barely twenty-three. He has a lot to learn."

"Am I just a girl to you, then?" You tilted your head at Severus, a tiny smile picking at the corner of your lips. You were twenty-two, almost twenty-three - a whole lot younger than Severus.

He stayed silent for a moment, staring at you, studying your gleeful little face. You suddenly felt a little vulnerable and so you averted your eyes to the ground, your face hot and embarrassed.

"Far from it." He sighed, eyes still glued on you. No, you were so much more to him than you could imagine. He couldn't tell you that though. Not when you had a chance at true happiness with someone that suited you better than an old, ugly git such as himself. "You're a grown woman, you've proven that." His reply had you shocked. You were not expecting such a response, in fact, you were actually expecting a dig, or even a petty insult. Your stomach felt a little heavier as you frowned at him, your eyes gently and slowly dissecting his worn features.

"Oh?" Your voice slipped up an octave as you were caught a little off-guard. "What, err, makes you say that?"

"I don't think I need to explain my reasoning. You're an intelligent woman, no need to spoon-feed you." Severus said simply with a slow blink, his glittering black eyes staring into yours, prompting your cheeks to burn even hotter. You forgot how beautifully hypnotising those two pools of inky-black were as you stared into them, almost losing yourself again.

"It feels weird to hear you compliment me." A gentle laugh left your lips. Severus's own lips tugged upwards slightly, the smallest hint of a smile appearing on his usually-cold face. A comfortable, yet partially awkward silence hung in the air for a moment. You stepped forwards once more, shuffling closer to Severus's desk, almost a foot away from him now. You looked down at the piles of assignments in front of him, curious. "May I?" You asked quietly, gesturing to them. He nodded.

You picked one up and began to read.

'Amortentia is the strongest known love potion in the world. Amor is a Latin word meaning ''Love'', it is also the name of the Roman goddess of love. ''Tentia'' is the Latin for ''held''. It makes the drinker become infatuated and obsessed.'

"I remember this," you smiled, eyes still glued to the parchment, "fourth years, correct?" You looked back to Severus, who was currently staring at you with such soft eyes that you almost melted right on the spot. You had to clear your throat to attempt to compose yourself, though it was truly in vain. It hadn't helped.

"Correct." He muttered, still staring at you, inducing a shiver of goosebumps to erupt on your skin. Your breath hitched slightly as you gripped the parchment tighter, never breaking contact with his eyes. A sharp pain suddenly shot through your finger.

"Ouch," You gasped, the essay falling to the ground as you let go of it, rushing to grab your injured finger. Severus's brows furrowed at you.

"Are you alright?" He cast a glimpse at your finger that you were now squeezing tight, a tiny spot of blood beginning to dribble down it.

"Mhm, just a cut, I think I accidentally cut myself on something that was stuck to the paper." You laughed awkwardly, a little embarrassed as you flipped it over to see a shard of glass stuck to it in a sticky substance. You placed the parchment back onto his desk and looked down at your finger. A scarlet liquid was beginning to ooze out, and fast. You exhaled, feeling a little woozy. Blood was never your strong suit - as a matter of fact, you hated it. The sight of it always made you feel so lightheaded.

Severus noticed your unusual behaviour and quickly rose from his seat, rushing to your side. "Let me," He sighed softly, his hands taking ahold of yours, an electric jolt shooting through you. Your breath hitched once more as you glanced up at him, your wide, doe-like eyes meeting his sparkling obsidian ones. Severus felt like he couldn't breathe for a moment. He was trapped in your eyes, the buzz filling his body up like a drug. You drew him in so easily, and it didn't help that you were excruiatingly even more beautiful up close. The moonlight did you no justice in that greenhouse.

Forcing himself to tear his eyes from yours, he reluctantly looked back down to your injured finger, retrieving his wand from his sleeve. The moment he'd taken your hand in his, his mind went insane. There was no other feeling like it. Merlin, he wished he could experience that moment all over again.

"Does it hurt?" He asked, voice quiet, aiming the tip of his wand over the cut. You hadn't looked away from him once.

"No." You whispered. Severus's head shot up, his worried eyes meeting yours instantly. A warmth spread throughout his body, engulfing him. The two of you were so close, sheer milimetres apart. So close that if one of you leaned forwards even the tiniest amount, the tips of your noses could touch. He needed to stop getting himself into these situations with you, he wasn't going to get over you if you kept ending up inches apart.

His hot breath was on familiar territory again, tickling your pink cheeks, caressing your jaw. Like you were pulled forwards, you found yourself gradually leaning toward him with parted lips, testing the water as you brushed the tip of your nose against his larger one; soft eyes flicking between his lips and his two pools of black. You hesitated, waiting for Severus to respond, your heart thundering against your ribs like a starved lion locked within a cage.

His wand-holding hand faltered slightly, the tip tickling your palm as it grazed your skin; your creeping presence sending his own heart racing. A soft gasp left you as it touched your hand. Severus's mind was fighting desperately for him to pull away, to save you and him the heartache. Perhaps months ago, he'd listen. However, having you so close to him, so vulnerable and soft-looking, he couldn't help himself. Against the wishes of his mind, he tipped his head forwards with half-lidded eyes, nudging the side of your nose with his. Every bone in his body was screaming at him to pull away, to push you away to spare his heart. He knew he wouldn't be able to deal with the aftermath if you suddenly decided one day that he wasn't enough for you anymore. However, he decided that you were entirely worth the risk in this current moment.

You swallowed and allowed a hand to slip up onto his chest, your fingers splaying out slightly across the broad area. With a slow, controlled inhale, your eyes fluttered open to look up at his through your lashes. His tongue poked out sheepishly, wetting his lips as the two of you stared at one another, waiting for the other to make the first move.

He shuffled forwards once more, your lids fluttering shut as Severus pressed a soft and slow kiss against your lips. It was gentle, sweet and reserved. Tender, tickling you like butterfly wings. A warmth bloomed in your chest and your body leaned in instinctively towards his, silently begging him for more. As Severus pulled away, your eyes were still shut.

"Kiss me again," you whispered, "please."

The last word was all the encouragement he needed from you.

Severus leaned in once more, pressing another gentle kiss against your lips, another buzz of electrifying warmth sweeping through the two of you. It suddenly felt as if the world had stopped turning, like you'd been shot into another dimension as Severus held you close, his cool skin a great contrast against your burning skin. Your shallow breaths hitched once more as he sheathed his wand back up his sleeve, a hand coming to rest tenderly against your cheek; cradling your face like it was the most precious thing in the world as he kissed you. A part of you was melting at how gentle and soft he was being with you, and the other, wilder part was begging him to deepen the kiss; to just take control of you and show you how much you truly meant to him.

Your cardigan had slipped off of your shoulder as you leaned into his tender touch, exposing your skin to the chilly, damp air of his classroom sending a shivering chill through your body. Your other hand quickly snaked up his strong chest to meet your opposing one. After a moment, they found themselves nestled around his neck, a speck of blood staining his white collar from your finger as you grazed past it. Severus's other hand swiftly made its way to your waist and pulled you close, his body desperate to become drunk in your warmth once more. A soft moan bubbled in your throat as Severus peppered gentle kisses against you, pleading him to go further.

Almost immediately, he caved at the sound of you, his fingers digging into your clothed-flesh, any feeling of guilt fleeing from your body. Gods, you were so wrong, Ben was nothing compared to Severus. Ben never made you feel an ounce of the way that he did - you couldn't remember a time where Ben had touched your body the way he did, nor a time where Ben had kissed your lips as he did.

The two of you had become lost within each other as you made out sloppily in his classroom, his hands gripping you so deeply that the worries of Severus leaving bruises upon your supple skin had vanished from your mind. In fact, deep down, you were hoping he did. The way his hands held your body was heavenly, other-worldly.

You were a little embarrassed at how easily you folded with this man.

Severus's current state of mind was the total opposite of yours. In his head, all he heard was the constant chant of something telling him to stop. He pushed past it, drowning the voices out with harsher kisses, forcefully grabbing you tighter, pulling another moan from your lips. His conversation with Minerva from earlier began to rear its head within his own, torturing him. His stomach twisted awfully, and suddenly there was a bad taste in his mouth.

What the hell was he doing? You were seeing someone.

You were seeing someone.

Is this how pathetic and utterly sad he was? That he immediately latched onto you because he finally felt appreciated, wanted? For once, he didn't feel like a burden to the world. He felt validated, desired, perhaps even loved - everything he had ever wanted when he was younger. Your soft touches sent him spiralling, and he couldn't escape this maze of uncertainty. Did you truly feel something for him or was this some sort of sick, twisted fantasy you had? Were you just taking advantage of him? Was he so easy to be manipulated? He hoped not, he'd worked incredibly hard to get ahold of his emotions; imprisoning them. And you were breaking those thick walls down like dominoes.

"Severus, you're hurting me," Your voice suddenly whined, tearing him from his thoughts as your fingers touched his shaking hand that was gripping your hipbone like a merciless vice. Almost immediately, he released you from his grasp and stepped away, turning his back to you ashamedly. Several seconds of silence passed through the pair of you, your fingers lingering on the sore area, gently rubbing it in an attempt to soothe the ache. "Are you okay?" You kept your voice quiet and soft, careful not to startle him. He clearly wasn't in a good state of mind.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled, his head drooping, "I shouldn't have kissed you." Severus slowly turned around, his body parallel to yours, a solemn look upon his features. "It was wrong of me, and I was selfish." Severus added, his lips molding into that familiar, emotionless flat line as he stared at you. You frowned and reached your hand out to him, however, he shied away from it. Your chest tightened as you quickly pulled your hand back, hurt by his rejection. All this emotional warfare was wearing you down.

He's running away again, you thought, a shock of fear bolting through you.

"Why are you sorry?" Your brows furrowed deeply as you wrapped your arms around your body, the chill of the dungeon devouring you once more. You instantly missed his warmth against you.

"You're with Bluewater, are you not?" Severus's eyes hardened as he spoke that wretched name. Suddenly, your throat felt incredibly tight. Shit, Ben- he'd totally slipped your mind the moment Severus had kissed you. You'd undoubtedly made a bad habit of forgetting him when in the presence of Severus...

"Erm, yes." You said quietly. The tone of your voice had him confused. You sounded regretful.

Severus stood straighter as his hands slinked away behind his back. You shrunk underneath his towering height.

The next thing you wanted to say could ruin it all. You had no idea whether Severus felt the same. Did he feel something for you, or was it just lust for him? Perhaps some sort of fantasy of fooling around with a younger professor? Everything you'd built could come crashing down like a burning plane within seconds. Your hands suddenly felt clammy as you fought to find the right words, your mouth quivering.

"I..." you breathed out as your eyes fell to the ground for a moment, staring hard. "He's not you." You glanced back up at Severus, his scrutinising eyes sending your lungs into a breathless spasm. You felt like you couldn't breathe as you waited for his reply.

"Don't be a fool, Y/N." Severus's voice was cold. It made your stomach drop. Was this his way of rejecting your affections?

"I'm serious." You chewed on the inside of your cheek, eyes studying his unwavering stony face.

"You can do far better than me. I will only hurt you, Y/N," he spoke, his voice deep and languid, "I will destroy you in the most beautiful way possible, I will make it impossible to live a life without pain and regret. People do not linger around me for certain reasons."

"Yet I'm still here." You huffed quietly, your fingers squeezing your arms out of frustration.

"For now." Severus mused sarcastically, wallowing in his self-hatred. It hurt you to see his true opinion of himself, and it made your mind race with reasons as to why he despised himself so much.

"Why can't you see yourself the way I do?" You sighed softly, almost defeatedly, gazing at the man in front of you. Severus hated how your eyes were laden with sorrow.

"You look at the world with rose-coloured glasses. I do not." He replied. Those deep, black eyes had suddenly lost the flicker in them, and it pained you. He began to move, sweeping back to his desk, taking a seat behind it - still disorderly and untidy.

You were quiet, quite obviously hurt. Severus's jaw clenched, an ache spreading across his chest as a deep sigh fell through his nostrils. 

"Why do you always shut me out, Severus?" A shaky exhale left you as your eyes burned. The emotional rollercoaster that this man was sending you on was truly heartwrenching.

He was silent in response to your question, eyes stuck to his messy desk, an indelicate representation of his current state of mind.

"Severus, answer me," you demanded, attempting to sound as stern as possible, though it was a pathetic failure as your voice broke; breathy sobs fighting to escape your throat. "Why are you so scared of this?"

"I will only hurt you, Y/N." He said, too afraid to look at you. Severus couldn't bear to see you so upset, especially because of him.

"You don't know that." You replied, voice soft.

"And you do?" Severus's head snapped up at you, frustrated, his eyes cold and ruthless; back to their usual appearance. A quiet gasp shot out of your quivering mouth. "Bluewater is better for you." He admitted. How could he say that when he'd said you'd deserved better than him?

"You have no idea what you're talking about!" You cried out, the building frustration within you finally crumbling and spilling out through your tears. Severus looked away from you, physically unable to watch you cry. Gods, he wanted to rush to you and hold you, tell you that everything was going to be alright, but he couldn't. He had no idea if things were going to be okay. And they definitely wouldn't be if he had the honour of callilng you his. "Y/N-" His eyes were still avoiding you, too ashamed to even look at you.

"No, Severus, what gives... what gives you the right to kiss me, to pull me so close to you and then suddenly shove me away like I'm nothing but a piece of dirt on your shoe?" You rambled, your hands flying outwards frantically as hot tears rolled down your cheeks. It was embarrassing how unravelled you'd become, but you couldn't stop yourself. He'd finally broken you. "You can't keep doing this to me, I can't- it's..." Your lungs and throat burned. You'd exhausted yourself. "To kiss you? Did you not initiate it?" He scowled at you. "You were the one pushing your face into mine!"

"Okay, sure, I admit to that- but you didn't have to kiss me! You could have walked away!" You cried, walking up to his desk and pointing a finger at his face. Immediately, his lip curled upwards, his features twisting into a disdainful scowl.

"Is that not what you wanted?! For me to kiss you?!" Severus bellowed, rising from his desk chair, his hands slamming down onto the desk furiously. This time you didn't flinch, too distracted by the flaming hot anger searing through your veins.

"Did you?!" You exclaimed back at him, leaning forwards over his desk. One more time, the two of you were impossibly close - so close that you were sure you could feel the angry heat radiating from each other's bodies.

The room was suddenly dead silent, and yet, the only things the two of you could hear were the ragged, desperate breaths that seeping out of your heaving chests.

"Go to hell, Snape." You whispered with a red face. You felt humiliated, angry, upset- actually, you were certain every single emotion was surging through you right now; the way your body was trembling uncontrollably made you sure of it.

Severus's lack of an answer more than enough for you. With a frustrated, teary-eyed huff, you spun around, storming straight for his door.

Jesus, how could you have fallen for such a cruel man? Were you so blind? He had an abysmal reputation for a reason, yet you still selfishly thought that you could change him, that you could fix him and make him a better person. And you were wrong, Gods, were you so. Fucking. Wrong. 

You were only three steps away, when a strong hand suddenly gripped your arm, spinning you around with force. You whirled around, taken by surprise as Severus crashed his lips against yours, his touch-hungry hands rushing carelessly to grasp at your waist, drawing your body into his. He was like a devouring flame, hungry and starving for its fuel of life. You gasped against his lips, your body soon falling victim to his alluring aura, melting shamelessly into him. Your mind clouded with lust and desire as your hands swiftly settled around his neck once again, desperately tugging him as close to you as possible as a few stray tears fell from your closed eyes, wetting both of your cheeks. You were unabashedly needy for his touch - for his lips, for his whole self in general - your body and heart was begging for him, and Severus noticed.

*

Severus pushed you backwards towards the very desk that the two of you had brewed the Mandrake potion a year ago, his hands slipping underneath your thighs to lift you up effortlessly. Your bum grazed against the surface as he placed you down, a rogue piece of wood tearing the hem of your nightdress slightly. You spread your legs, inviting him in, his hips pressed against the edge of the desk as he kissed you hungrily. Severus's hands slipped up from your thighs and felt their way up to your waist again, squeezing you tenderly, shooting a delicious shiver up your spine. He pulled a delicate moan from your lips as he let one of his hands snake up to your neck, his thumb grazing against the side of your breast on its travels. A groan bubbled in his throat at the sultry noise, a thrilling jolt trembling through him as his hand gently grasped the back of your neck, his cold fingers tickling the nape of it.

You mindlessly wrapped your legs around his hips, tugging him closer with each lingering kiss like he could be ripped away from you any second. Severus's hips rutted against yours and you gasped, prompting an animalistic groan from his mouth. 

Your hands fell from his neck, sliding agonisingly slow down his torso and halting themselves at his hips, toying with the buckle and buttons of his trousers. Instantaneously, with his wet and swollen lips still glued to yours, his hand abandoned your waist to help you with his clothing, unbuckling them one-handedly. You were impressed to say the least.

As you fumbled with his zipper, Severus returned his hands to your body. His slender and skilled fingers found your cardigan and slipped it off of your shoulders and arms, discarding it to the ground. You whined slightly at the sudden bitter air, though it was soon silenced as Severus delved his wet tongue wildly into your mouth, licking and caressing it against your own. You moaned as he moved his mouth down to your jaw, nipping at it sweetly, his tongue leaving a hot trail as he made his way down toward your neck; his fingers having a mind of their own as they flew to your shoulders, tugging at the straps of your nightdress. Another breathless moan tumbled freely from your mouth as Severus sucked sweetly on your neck, pushing you backwards onto the surface of the table. You let yourself be guided by him as you laid back on the desk, arching yourself as your hands flew from his hips to the back of his neck, diving your fingers into his thick, mop of black hair, urging him to continue.

Your lids are lazy and heavy as you let him ravage your neck with sinful lips. "Severus," You whispered, breathless, sending a shockwave through him. "Need you-" A lewd whine left you as your body rocked hungrily against his.

"Patience," He whispered back against your hot skin, panting. You whined once more, evidently unhappy with his response. Severus chuckled, pulling away from your slender neck, your hands sliding down from the mess of his hair to his clothed biceps. He leaned down toward your face once more, a pool of warmth flourishing in his torso as he gazed down at you. He lifted a large hand and placed it tenderly against your cheek, his thumb brushing against the pinkened apples of your cheeks. Instinctively, you leaned into his sweet touch, your cheeks flushing a deeper shade of red, inducing a rare smile upon Severus's lips. You allowed your fingers to shift from his tensed arms to the hem of his cloak on his chest.

"What?" You asked quietly, a coy smile gracing your full, swollen lips as you beckoned him closer with a tug at his cloak that lingered between the pads of your fingers.

"Nothing." He rumbled in his deep voice, still staring at you. You sucked in a cheek and bit down on the inside of it, the overwhelming feeling of vulnerability eating you up. His thumb brushed against your cheek again, sending a shiver throughout your body.

"Then kiss me again, will you?" You laughed softly, slightly embarrassed at the dishevelled state you were currently in. You gave another tug at his cloak again. Severus's lips quirked upwards again at your demand, caving at your sweet voice. He leant down slowly, large nose brushing against yours in an intimate fashion as he pressed a soft, chaste kiss against your reddened lips.

In this tender and soft moment that you shared with Severus, all you wanted to do was remain here forever. Seeing him act so warm and soft with you felt like a fever dream. From the callous way he spoke to you in the first year, you never expected a man like him to have such a gentle and delicate side. It was momentous - he'd finally succumbed to you, allowing you into his world; a side of him you never thought you'd ever see. And you were eternally grateful for it.

You felt yourself becoming lost in his addicting touch again as his hands travelled down your body, gently caressing your flaming hot skin. They reached your thighs, squeezing them, and your back arched into him; the fire from before burning hotter.

Kissing you, Severus trailed the tips of his fingers down your legs, toying with the hem of your nightdress, slowly and teasingly guiding it up towards your thighs. The sensation sent a chill down your spine as the crisp air nipped at your bare legs, excited goosebumps erupting all over you. With a delicious, muffled hum, he hooked a finger underneath the string of your underwear, pulling at it.

"You want this?" He muttered against your lips, his eyes fluttering open for a brief moment.

"Yes," you panted, "please, yes."

At the sound of your pleas, Severus slipped your lacy panties off of you, discarding them on the ground with your cardigan. Instantly, he grazed his hand up the inner side of your calf, and up your thigh, coming to a teasingly close stop at where you needed him most. You whined, rocking your hips into him, begging, pleading him to touch you. A throaty growl rumbled out of him, and he mashed his lips harsher against yours, diving his tongue into your wet mouth, engaging in a heated quarrel with your own. You gasped as his hand finally settled on your burning core, a single cool finger delving itself between your wet folds, circling around your sensitive bud.

A strangled moan left your mouth as he added another finger, tracing the outline of you agonisingly slow, a coil tightening within the confines of your belly. You were panting helplessly now as he teased you, losing all control as Severus slipped his fingers inside of you, extracting a high-pitched whine from your throat. You grit your teeth as he curled them inside of you, clutching at any last bit of strength within you to stop yourself from screaming out. Your body was trembling now, hopelessly, as Severus had you wrapped around his fingers quite literally.

You exhaled, "Severus," with a whiny moan, he pulled away from your mouth and removed his fingers from you and brought them up to your lips. Without hesitation, you parted them, prompting Severus to dip them into your mouth, your tongue curling around them sinfully. A groan bubbled in the back of his throat as you tightened your legs around his hips, begging for him to continue.

A smug smirk picked at the corners of his lips as he stared at you. Your lips were wrapped around his two fingers, saliva dripping messily from them, your eyes blown and dark, hungry for more of him.

"Such a good girl," Severus uttered, tilting his chin upwards. You almost combusted right then and there. "You always were." He hummed. Instantly, your hands flew to his trousers, tugging at them with wild determination. You couldn't wait any longer, you needed him now.

He pulled his fingers out of your pretty mouth and helped you, lowering his trousers; the growing tent in his boxers driving you insane. Your fingers hook at the hem of them as his own did with your panties, pulling them down urgently. A fierce flicker of lust and desire flashed in your eyes as his cock bounced free, your legs tugging him closer to you once more, a whimper leaving your lips in an attempt to persuade him to finally take you.

"Sev, please," The way you shortened his name in your soft, enticing and whiny voice almost sent him tumbling over the edge. He drew a sharp breath as he placed a hand against your cheek, and his other underneath your nightdress upon your waist, his fingers finally touching and squeezing your naked flesh. He groaned as you rutted your hips against him again. Without a delay, he slipped himself inside of you, the pair of you moaning together at the intense flash of pleasure washing over you like a tsunami.

Severus's mind was jaded as he fucked you, his mouth parting and lips quivering as he allowed himself to become lost in the ripples of unwavering bliss that rattled through his body. Your hands snaked up to his face and cradled it sweetly, pulling him back down to meet your lips again. The kisses were short and sweet, nothing like the hungry and harsh ones before.

Your head fell back slightly, your bottom lip caught between his teeth as Severus's full length sheathed itself inside of your warm, hot core; the delicious slapping of yours and his flesh echoing in his classroom. All those years ago, studying in here, never did you think that you'd find yourself right here in this sensual moment.

Severus's hand that was sat on your waist slipped downwards and settled itself on your hip, fingers digging harshly into your skin as he felt himself teetering closer to the edge. His breaths were becoming ragged, laboured and heavy, and so he brought his other hand down to your womanhood, slipping his fingers between your folds once more to thumb your clit. As he circled it skillfully, your body quaked with every rub, strings of moans and gasps falling freely and shamelessly from your busied mouth. The coil within you tightened, and your fingers sunk themselves into his mop of black hair once more, gripping it with force as your body shook uncontrollably.

Severus's thrusts became sloppy and uncalculated as he pulled his face back from you, watching as you came undone beneath him; your face twisting in a dangerously beautiful manner as the coil snapped. He moved his hands from you and placed them beside your hips as your walls clenched frantically around him, and Severus himself was sent tumbling over the edge, a broken and throaty animalistic moan slipping out of his mouth as his body gave out, collapsing over you. Catching himself with his hands, he transferred his weight to his elbows and forearms, leaning up slightly to gaze at you. His black eyes twinkled beautifully in the amber glow of his classroom, a flush of warmth blossoming over your spent, sweaty body. A gentle giggle came from you, and he found himself smiling. Usually, it felt odd for such an expression to take hold of his features, however, with you, it felt natural. Like it was meant to be there.

*

(end of 18+)

He allowed himself a moment to recuperate as your fingers softened their grasp in his hair, gradually glazing to his cup his red cheeks, thumbs brushing sweetly against his burning skin. He pulled himself out of you and pulled up his trousers, buckling them up. He pulled your nightdress back down over your legs, his hand lingering over your thigh.

"Don't you look happy with yourself," you giggled again, and Severus hushed you with a gentle kiss on your lips. "I never thought I'd see the day."

"What do you mean?" He frowned softly, thumb brushing against the silk material that covered your thigh. A warmth pooled in your belly at his touch.

"You're smiling, and it's not forced... or sarcastic." You smiled, biting down on your bottom lip playfully.

"I can't help myself," Severus muttered, his face mere centimetres away from yours, "You just seem to pull them out of me." The warmth within your burned a little hotter.

"Don't stroke my ego, you'll regret it, Sev." You joked, a toothy grin replacing the sweet smile. He chuckled at you.

"I hate to bring this up, however, it's niggling at my mind," Severus suddenly sighed, the tiny flicker of a smile that was on his face disappearing. "What about Bluewater now?"

You scrunched your nose up at the sound of his name, the guilt that once vanished making a very hasty return to your body, sinking into your aching shoulders. "Um," you winced, "I don't know. I can't exactly... end things with him whilst he's staying here, erm, I'm not sure how he'll react." You finished, allowing your fingers to brush through Severus's dishevelled black hair.

"Hm," he hummed, pondering. "what does that mean... for us?"

"We will just have to grin and bear it until he 'deems it safe to leave'." You made a face, mocking Ben's words from that moment in the Great Hall. A faint amused smile spread across Severus's face, your chest tingling at the sight of it. "And I'm not sure I can tell him about us, he might just lose it, you know how he... you know- hates you."

"That would truly be a sight to behold," Severus smirked, the arrogance in him slithering out. You rolled your eyes at him. "However, we must be wise in our decisions, I do not want you getting hurt." His other hand held your cheek, fingers brushing a stray strand of messy hair behind your reddening ears.

"Do you think you can handle acting like you hate me for a few more days?" You asked, a bashful grin gracing your blushing face. Your hand settled atop of his large one as he caressed your cheek. Severus couldn't believe how lucky he was. What on Earth did he do to deserve this? To deserve such a beautiful, kind creature like you?

"I did it for the past year, another few days is nothing." He quipped quickly, a playful tone in his voice. You scoffed at him.

"Wow," you breathed out, grinning, your hands flying to his chest to push him off of you. He obliged and leaned up, stepping out of the trap of your legs. You slipped off of the table and picked up your underwear and cardigan, putting them both back on. An embarrassed red blush fluttered across your cheeks as fresh memories of Severus rolling up your nightdress flooded your mind, almost drowning you.

"Oh, that's too far?" He laughed softly. You head flew to look at him, your heart skipping a beat from the sound of his beautiful laugh. You'd never heard it before, and it was... gorgeous, to say the least.

"That's the first time I've heard you laugh - genuinely." You gasped, an uncontrollable smile spreading across your face like a wildfire. Almost immediately, Severus's face dropped and he rolled his eyes, clearly opposed to your positive reaction. He wasn't exactly fond of being fawned over, it made him feel weak.

"And it'll be the last." He groaned, turning away from you as another sweet laugh bubbled in the back of your throat.

"I should get back, Ben is probably wondering where I am, or... he's still asleep, oblivious to the world." You sighed heavily, padding towards Severus's tall, cloaked form. He slowly turned around, his black eyes sparkling in the orange torchlight.

"Yes," He said softly, fingers coming up to hold your chin. All sense and feeling suddenly drained from your legs. "Though I'm not sure I can promise to stay away from you, let alone keep my hands off of you." Severus muttered, his deep, languid voice sending a shock through your smaller body.

Your breath hitched, "Well, you're going to have to try," you exhaled softly, eyes flicking between his. He brought your chin up, cool fingers grasping it sweetly, and pressed a tender kiss upon your lips. Naturally, your hands flew up to sit against his strong chest, a guttural groan emitting from his throat as he kissed you. You had to swallow the moan that threatened to slip from you, feeling yourself become aroused all over again. "Alright, I really have to go." You whispered against his mouth, though your body was showing the complete opposite of what you said.

You kissed him back, a little harder, tracing your tongue against the surface of his bottom lip. "Go, then." He murmured back, hands slipping from your face and down to your waist, gripping you teasingly slow. You arched into him, breaths becoming shallow and wanting.

"I'm trying," you whimpered, "you're making this very hard."

"Let me make it easy for you then." Before you could protest, Severus tore himself from you, a needy, desperate whine falling from your lips.

"Gods, you're such a tease." You groaned, folding your arms against your chest, a clear show of disappointment. Severus couldn't help but smile at you. You looked so incredibly cute with that unhappy frown on your little face.

"My apologies." Severus mused sarcastically. "Now, go, I will see you tomorrow."

You sighed, "Alright, fine..." eyes looking at his form dangerously, rousing him.

"Stop it, Y/N."

"What?"

"You know exactly what you're doing."

"Do I?" You blinked, an innocent look crossing your features.

"Leave. Now." Severus said sternly, gesturing to the door as he swept behind his desk, seating himself.

"Alright, I'm going." You couldn't help but smile cheekily as you moved towards the door, fingers clicking it open reluctantly. "Same time tomorrow?"

"We'll see. Now, go."

And so you did, slipping out of his classroom sneakily, making sure to shut his door as quietly as possible with the brightest smile on your blushing face.

What the hell just happened?

Part 12!

oh LORDT. i do hope i wrote that scene well, it was tough i won't lie. however, credit to the weeknd, bro really helped me.

let me know your thoughts, i'm always curious to see what you think :)

i love you guys!! thank you again!! make sure to drink enough water, it's getting super hot again ffs! >:(

taglist:

@a-laufeyson

@emilynissangtr

@livillain00

@meowskii

@nooneeveryonenoone

@vesperbatty

@biggest-simp-eversposts

@881127fara

@freshmoneyalmondathlete

@sonoluvr22

@v3lv3tvampir3

@lashipperrubia

@camilla-black

@acakius

@hiddlestonspassionsackx

@tellatubbies

@mikariell95

@sunshinemink

@m0rtifiedg0th

@spookymicrowave

@sayonara30

@novas-dreamworld

@ms-snape

@captainrogers-19

@once-upon-an-imagine

@cj-ghostemoji-destielpie

@renirat

@0chemicalwaste0

[dc-marvel-life]

You Are My Family Now

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x reader

Summary: Natasha is dating someone that the team does not like and tries to get Natasha together with Bruce.

Word Count: ~1.5K

A/N: This is for @waltermis. I saw that you looking for a story like this, and I love the idea so much I made it. Lisichka - little fox, I found this online so I am not 100% sure if it means little fox.

Warnings: The team is mean

You are an ex-assassin/spy for hire who was awfully good at her job. Your biggest enemy was the Avengers, but they never were about to spot you. You caused many injuries and near-death experiences for them, so you were on their naughty list. 

No one in the world was able to get close enough to catch you, well no one but Natasha Romanoff. You also have a soft spot for you. You could never pinpoint exactly why but you had the biggest crush on her. It was the way her body moved against you. It was always a dance between you too, but you always got away. You couldn’t tell if you were just that skilled or she let you go on purpose. 

You thought that she liked the cat and mouse game that you both played just as much as you do. It was also the way she talked to you. No matter what the situation is or what you said, she always had a sassy comeback that made your heart skip a beat. 

— 

It all changed one night in Paris. You were working a job where you needed to take out a mob boss who was staying at a hotel nearby. You were just about to walk up and take him out when Natasha came out of nowhere and stopped you. 

A fight ensued and you got badly injured. You couldn’t finish the mission with how bad the wound was. You needed to get to your safe house immediately and take care of the wound before you bleed out. You somehow managed to get to your safe house alive, but you weren’t alone. Natasha was able to follow you back.

“Looks like you got sloppy there Silver Fox,” Natasha says once she enters your safe house with a gun in hand. You smile at the way she says your code name. She says it with so much lust behind it. This time you couldn’t say anything smart back at her because you were bleeding to death.

Natasha looked at you and saw that you were in real pain. You are lying on the floor with your hand on the wound trying to put pressure on it but slowly losing it. Just like you, Natasha had a soft for you too. Natasha puts down her gun and treats your wound. Once she finishes patching you up, she puts you in the bed and finds some food and water for you.

“Don’t scare me like that again Fox” Natasha says handing you water.

“Wouldn’t plan on it. Then who would you track across the whole world to see” you say taking the water.

“By the way, my name is Y/N,” you say realizing that you never knew each other names. Just code names Black Widow and Silver Fox.

“My name is Natasha. It is nice to finally meet you” Natasha says with a small smile. You both stare at each other’s eyes then something clicks. You both lean in for a kiss that feels like it lasted for hours. That night you both made love in that safe house until the sun came up. 

— 

That became your guys' routine for a few years. You guys will find each other then find a hotel or safe house to make love all night and leave in the morning. During the years that you both have been hooking up with each other, you started to fall in love with Natasha. After you guys finished, you would talk about everything. She told you about the Red Room and how she lost her sister. You told her about your backstory and why you are an assassin/spy. 

You wanted to do better for Natasha, so you slowly started to take fewer and fewer jobs until you were completely out. Natasha was able to track you down in Jamaica. Once she got there, you told her that you were about of the game and wanted to do right by her. Natasha was so happy to hear it and officially asked you to be her girlfriend. 

You said yes and you guys spent a week in Jamaica. Natasha didn’t know that you planned for this whole week. It was the best time of your life. 

A month later, Natasha told the team that you guys were together and they weren’t happy about it. You have caused so much damage to the team over the years and it can’t be fixed anytime soon. 

You understood and asked for a chance. The team didn’t want to give you a chance, but Fury wanted to keep your talents so he let you on the team with pushback. 

You were happy that you could actually do some good in the world and be near your girlfriend. After a few months of staying there, you and Natasha moved into the same room together. Everything was going great with you two.

— 

Now you are on a solo mission while the team is at the compound having a chill night drinking, playing games, and watching movies.

Natasha is drinking with the rest of the team but she is waiting for you to be back. You told her tonight when you come back you are going to cook her a nice meal to celebrate each other. So Natasha is trying not to drink too much unlike her teammates who are drunk right now. 

“You know Nat, you shouldn’t be dating Gold Fox,” Tony says slurring his words.

“It is Silver Fox and she has a name,” Natasha says defensively.

“Look what we are trying to say that she isn’t good for you. Why not date Bruce? He is a better fit for you” Wanda says to her best friend. Natasha rolls her eyes at the thought of it. She only wants to be with you. It was no secret that Bruce has a crush on Natasha and everyone is for it but you and Natasha. 

“No, I am in a happy relationship” Natasha bites back at her team. 

“How about you kiss to see? You may never know. Now kiss” Tony says and the whole team starts to chant ‘kiss’.

“Hell no!” Natasha says but now Bruce is drunk and has some confidence. He comes over to where Natasha is and pulls her into a kiss with the team cheering. 

Then you hear a loud bang. The team turns around to see you standing there with bags of groceries. You drop the bags and leave the compound.

“Look at what you guys did” Natasha gets up to try and catch you but you are long gone. Natasha sighs and starts to pick up the bags that you dropped. Natasha let out a sigh because she was looking forward to dinner. You always made her the best food and she wanted a night alone with you. You've both been on missions back to back and needed it. 

Natasha picks up the bags and sees a small box. She opens the box to see a beautiful engagement ring. It is the ring that Natasha has been describing you for months now. 

“You guys are all dicks!” Natasha screams and takes off to the landing bay. She knew exactly where you were going. The safe house in Paris.

Natasha takes a small jet and goes to you. She gets to the safe house and sees you on the bed in a ball crying while holding a picture of you two on your first date. 

“Lisichka” Natasha comes over to you and holds you tight. She wipes away your tears.

“Why would you do it” you say in a small voice.

“Lisichka, it didn’t happen that way. The whole team was drunk and wanted me to kiss Bruce. I said no and he came up and grabbed me. He kissed me, but I didn’t kiss him. These lips are only for you” Natasha kisses your cheek. You turn around so you are looking in her eyes to see that she is telling the truth, and she is. 

Natasha likes to think that you can’t tell when she is lying but you also do. 

“Now were you serious about this” Natasha holds up the box.

“Yes. I was supposed to ask you about a beautiful dinner and it be romantic” you say sadly.

“Well, the answer is yes. And this is just perfect for me” Natasha kisses you with all the passion that she has. You hold her close so she does go away.

“Let’s run away together,” Natasha says once she breaks the kiss. 

“Baby, no,” you say and Natasha looks at you confused.

“As much as I would love to run away with you. The Avengers are your family. You even got Yelena back in your life. I don’t want to be the reason why you have to leave your family” you say holding her cheek.

“You know that you are my family now too right” Natasha gets the ring out of the box. You stop her and put the ring on her. 

“That’s very true,” you admire her with the ring on.

“Fine, but I will make them like you,” Natasha says in all seriousness. 

“I bet you will,” you say and kiss Natasha again. You guys spend the night making love to each other in the same place that started it all.

Masterlist

[fangirlingpuggle]

More half asleep random thoughts on the DP AU where ghosts didn’t realise Danny had no knowledge of ghost stuff (Link here)

Walker captures Danny again and when Danny again complains about how he doesn’t know the rules, Walker is annoyed because every ghost does know the rules like as innate knowledge and thinks Danny is just messing with him/lying and snaps and is like ‘oh you don’t fine here I have a presentation on EVERY RULE’ and it’s meant to be a punishment very boring and condescending....only the kid seems genuinely... confused by some rules and is asking questions and... is he messing with him that he doesn’t know tis stuff he...what

Walker:...wait...do....do you really not know any of this?

Danny:Uh yeah of course not i’ve told you that like a million times

Walker:....

Walker:You really didn’t know

Danny:No of course not how would I know this stuff?

Walker:...

Walker:Oh ancients i’ve basically been trying to arrest a toddler

Danny:HEY!

Cue news being passed to all the other ghosts who are shocked and trying very hard to wrap their head around that this kid, knew nothing and taught himself all the ghost stuff...and could have actually died! They were messing around and could have literally killed the kid...

Skulker is horrified like the kid actually thought I was going to literally skin him? (Like yeah he does skin stuff but in ghost terms it’s kinda like taking outer lair off and won’t kill the ghost just piss them off take them ages to regenerate)

Also them realising that Danny went against Pariah with no knowledge of what that meant or that he is very VERY likely the next ghost king...

Them finding out kid is also dealing with ghost hunters, there totally being a code of protection for ghosts that they will always help each other out to avoid ghost hunters... they hear about some of the inventions his parents are trying to make and freak out like ‘OK SOMEONE IS ADOPTING THE KID THIS IS NOT SAFE!’

Also the Ghosts finding out about Dani! Like the ghosts knowing Vlad is Danny’s enemy and wanted to teach him but they all thought he was just responding to Danny claiming amity his lair like the rest of them and was wanting to ghost adopt Danny and then them finding out the actual reasons and his obsession with his mom...and then the cloning thing...

They are creeped out and that cloning thing is 100% against the rules and how is this new child stabilised? whose supporting her core? Ok gonna need someone to also adopt this kid as well? what the fuck.

[torialefay]

this may be kind of an unusual question so feel free to ignore it, but i tend to make lots of links and associations of concepts/situations with music and stuff and so i'm curious, what are some songs that you'd pick to describe what it would be like to be in a relationship with chan? or some songs that suit his placements (for example, i think work song by hozier is peak scorpio venus devotion level haha)

okay i LOVE this question!!! (also currently in a hozier phase so i love that you brought up that song.) if you have any other recs, pls send them my way, but here's some that had come to mind:

✨🎶 Dating Channie Sounds Like 🎶✨

the friendship/relationship stage:

i don't think it's just me who thinks that chan is gonna have to know & be friends with someone before progressing to a romantic relationship. i think he could definitely pine over someone for a while and be too scared to say anything. and then if something DID happen between the two of you, you would have to hide it for a while. that's why i chose these 2 songs :)

• human - dodie ft tom walker ✨

• hush hush - the band camino✨

actual committed relationship phase:

• medicine - royal sugar ✨ this gives me such new-relationship, pent-up sexual tension vibes. this man would not be able to stop thinking ab you sexually when you first get together... 100%. sex w/ him is likely initially more fun, like in this song, but once he gets to KNOW you, it gets wayyyy deeper

• tenerife sea - ed sheeran ✨ this one might be a cop-out bc chan has sung it multiple times on channie's room but i couldn't NOT put it in here. moving past the superficial, this song paints such a new, mesmerizing love story. you are elated you finally found your person.

• mess is mine - vance joy ✨ i'm sorry but the lyrics "this body is yours and mine" & "now your mess is mine" is so channie-coded to me. he is offering himself up to you. anything you want from him is yours & he will take on all of your hurt

• fire and the flood AND lay it on me - vance joy ✨ these were just so all-encompassing, i couldn't not include them. you become the most consuming part of his life. he quite literally can't go a day without thinking of you and how fucking attached his heart is to yours. you are his everything and only thing. "i always feel you in my blood" & "your love's always finding me out."

• until you - ahi ✨ this song isn't as relevant NOW, but it really throws me into a pre-debut channie love story tbh. bless his little heart 💔 i couldn't NOT include it bc it's still beautiful.

• anointed - miguel AND religion - lana del rey ✨ these have the same purpose, so i'm including them together. when channie is truly in love with you, he won't fuck you- he fucking worships you. well, you worship each other in the bedroom. and i feel this a million times. he needs something deeper and he needs to feel consumed in it. praising each other until you physically have no stamina left in your body.

tough times/drifting apart/ fights:

sorry but i had to include a couple of angsty songs i could totally see playing out in a relationship w channie </3

• fleeting love - royal sugar ✨ i 100% see this song being about your struggles with a long distance relationship. not being able to work anything out, but also not being able to let them go. "in the elevator with your passport, goodbye is 10 floors down." you just want him so badly, but you don't know you can do this. you werebso happy to have him, even if just for a little bit.

• berenstein - the band camino ✨ chan always talks about alternate universes, so i had to add this one in. the line "at another place in time, you were infinitely mine," it makes me think so much about if you were perfect with channie, and you both knew that... but you simply couldn't be with him because of his idol life. but you knew that somewhere out there in a parallel universe, he wasn't an idol, and you were together like you were meant to be :((((

bonus song:

this song reminds me SO MUCH of chris. the first time i heard it, i instantly thought of him. it isn't a love song by any means, it just makes me think of him && his life ❤️

• time's eyes - riley pearce ✨

if anyone has a song they automatically think of with channie, pls pls pls let me knowwww!!!

[tossawary]

In the "Howl's Moving Castle" movie, I was always kind of taken aback by Madame Suliman's identical blond boy servants and how closely Howl resembles them. Strict uniforms are definitely a thing, that blond hair could be dyed or could just be wigs or it could all be an illusion to disguise what they really look like, and it would fit the extravagance that we see of the palace to have such an absurd dress code for apprentices / servants.

But yeah, my first thought was clones or magical creations of some kind.

If not for the scene showing Howl as a boy meeting Calcifer, and I think a mention of having a wizard uncle when he and Sophie visit the flower field... (And also if not for having actually read the book and knowing Howl's backstory in that universe, but if the book didn't exist and the secret backstory there wasn't so funny...) then I would wonder about Howl having actually been created by Madame Suliman in some fashion. I mean, you could still do Secret Magical Clone Backstory as an AU for the movie 'verse: Howl could totally be lying about having a wizard uncle and the dark hair in the flashback could be a childhood rebellion thing.

It adds a whole extra layer of "what the fuck, this was never going to work" to Sophie briefly pretending to be Howl's mother to get him out of having to fight in the war, which is funny to me. I always got the vibe that Madame Suliman knew the "Mrs. Pendragon" bit was 100% fake from the beginning. And I think it would be funny to have Sophie yell at Howl for making her a distraction.

Anyway, I feel like movie 'verse Sophie could immediately cure Howl's upset over not being blond anymore by asking him if he also used to have to dress up like those boys when he was Madame Suliman's apprentice, and if he'd been trying to look like that still. (It's possible that the blond servant outfit of Suliman's servants and Howl's early outfits were just both of them separately trying to keep up with the latest fashions. The uniform may have looked entirely different when Howl was an apprentice.) "Is that the look you were going for?" Sophie asks dubiously, and Howl spends at least the next three days having a fashion crisis.

[pinkmirth]

Bertholdt being shy about how big his dick is has me kicking my feet n twirling my hair <33

He would 100% roll his hips against yours when you’re making out with him n then get shy when you’re surprised because you can feel how big n heavy his cock is sjfjakcnkand

𝒢ℰ𝒩𝒯ℒℰ 𝒢ℐ𝒜𝒩𝒯 . . !

𝓈𝓎𝓃ℴ𝓅𝓈𝒾𝓈: based on this post! a teensy-tiny drabble for bertl! my sweet big boy 💘

𝒸ℴ𝓃𝓉𝒶𝒾𝓃𝓈: (700+ words of . . .) aged up!bertholdt hoover x fem!reader (black coded), nsfw/smut, bertl has a mega size kink, handjob, oral (m!receiving), penetrative sex, mention of bertl’s big bawls, lowercase intended, explicit language, minors shoo!

omfg sandie!!! now this is everything to me! there’s nothin’ like a giant man who can’t truly grasp just how large he is.

bertholdt is well aware of his height— since his earliest memories he’s towered over others, standing head and shoulder above them. but when it comes to size-size? bertl doesn’t fully register how big he is. this bashful man don’t got a clue in the world!

your reaction to bertl discarding his underwear is what gets him to finally understand. to you, he already looked fairly large when wearing his boxers, but witnessing the real thing proves to be a stark difference. you unashamedly observe your boyfriend’s fat dick as it throbs lewdly, free of any confines. he can feel your keen eyes fixate on him.

“you’re fuckin’ huge.” you release the airiest whisper.

to that, bertholdt’s breath catches in his throat, adam’s apple bobbing. he gets self-conscious, even more so than usual. a stream of questions swirl about in his head. is he too big? will you be able to handle him? are there even condoms in his size?

his worries quickly dissipate once you begin to wrap your dainty fingers around his cock. you stroke whatever you can manage to reach, touching down his shaft and twirling your hand over the precum-smeared tip. you gaze at his endowment with lust-blown eyes, seemingly appreciative of what he has to offer.

“how big are you, baby?” he doesn’t know. hell, he’s never cared to check or measure before now. your assumption is nine whole inches, maybe ten.

“i— fuck,” he lets a foul whine slip past, bringing a hand to cover his mouth. he shyly speaks through his slender fingers, “i-i’m not sure...” with a stammer, bertholdt instinctively rolls his hips, bucking against your hand. his pale-green eyes stay trained on how you can barely close your fingers around the base of his girthy dick. in that very moment, within the depths of his mind, he can practically hear a switch flicking— that’s the size kink he never knew he had, officially turning on.

following that experience, bertholdt’s shyness considering his length doesn’t get any better. he’s easily flustered, but also more self-aware than he’s ever been. bertl starts to notice how wide your plush lips stretch around his cockhead when taking him into your wet, pliant mouth. he finds it amusing; how you can’t mutter a word when he fills up your throat, weighty and pulsing against your tongue.

he admittedly likes to give himself a rush during sex, by sizing you up— placing his rigid cock onto your tummy, just to make an estimate of how far he’ll reach. before long, he brushes past your folds and pushes into your velvety cunt. you clamp down fervidly, eager to take all of him.

he’s settled in your womb. you’re so fucking full. “it’s big,” you brainlessly mewl. bertl interlocks his fingers with yours, cheeks dusted red. he makes slow, impassioned thrusts forward, swiveling his hips to plunge into you just right.

“is it too much, love?” bertholdt’s words spill out shakily, wavering breaths dropping from his agape mouth. dark shaggy bangs fall across his forehead. you thread your hand through his hair to help him brush it back. faint traces of sweat trail down his forehead. “uh-uh. it’s perfect, baby,” you reassure with a soothing smile, pressing your lips to his. he returns the haphazard kisses, immodestly groaning into your mouth.

you’re always given generously thick loads when he finishes, because his balls are fat and heavy, too. bertholdt is slowly, but surely, learning how to use his imposing size for your benefit.

[dnalt-d2]

I wasn't able to watch Quackity's stream just now but from what I'm getting, it's a really unfortunate development

Basically that Quackity is stepping away from the QSMP for a bit and leaving the Administration of it to other people due to fear for his personal safety, and this next part might be slightly unrelated, but it's something I've been kinda wanting to say for a bit, and this gives me a good chance to do it

I remember a lot of people wondering why Admins had to stay anonymous to the public and this sort of thing is why. If experienced streamers, who are used to dealing with this sort of thing, are going through this, imagine what could have happened to the Admins if people found out who they were

Like imagine we knew exactly who was behind the Code attacks that killed Bobby, Tallulah, or Dapper. You really think people wouldn't have dog-piled on them because they killed their favorite Egg?? Imagine people knew who Leo or Sunny's admins were during all their "drama." People were already crossing boundaries before they knew who the admins were, and I don't think it would have gone well if that information were out in the open at the time

To me, it didn't seem like a good idea to throw people who were inexperienced with this into the spotlight like that. And THIS is why. People are still dog-piling on anyone they think is the problem, and that isn't okay. Quackity just talked about how scared he was for his actual personal safety, and that's not okay. People get the smallest scrap of information and latch onto it like it's gospel, and things like this happen. It's why I haven't even made a post about some recent developments, because I know a lot of what's being spread is speculation, and I don't like to spread around things I don't have concrete information on. Maybe if CERTAIN things were more open, this all wouldn't have been as big a problem, but the fact that this is the end result kinda makes their privacy more understandable

Because this is the kind of thing it leads to. Everyone demands every bit of information, pressuring people to the point that they just want to do SOMETHING to get people off their backs even a little bit. As far as I know, Lea DID NOT mean to leak that kind of information, but she was being bombarded for information, and just tried to provide some evidence for what she was saying, and probably didn't realize that it could lead to this (That's if the information I have on that is correct, that she basically leaked a payment document that had Quackity's full legal name, and that's how people managed to track down his information. If this isn't correct, please let me know, I haven't seen enough information on it to verify 100%)

(And I wanna say that this isn't me excusing the fact that the Admins couldn't talk to each other or the CCs when it was relevant to the server. That sort of thing is a textbook manipulation tactic from bosses who want to take advantage of their workers and using the lack of information as a weapon to that end)

I said before that I NEVER expected concrete updates about everything, just hoped for acknowledgements that things were still happening at all. Because the fact that streamers are in the public eye doesn't mean everything they do needs to be public knowledge. People online love to criticize paparazzi for constantly bombarding celebrities and invading their personal lives, but this is starting to feel startlingly similar, and I don't like that. Yes, the people involved should have that information, but we should not

I really hope people manage to stay safe through all this, including Quackity and each and every Admin/Ex-Admin that's been at the center of this. There are some things going around them that I don't agree with, but that doesn't mean I wish harm on them for it. That's the magical thing about the internet. You can just not interact with people you don't agree with, and I really wish some people would remember that. Especially over on Twitter. Because Holy Shit

Anyways, that's about all I have for now, probably won't be too active for a bit still because of IRL stuff, but I'm still here. Watching

WATCHING YOU ALL

**Okay Edit I didn't know this but

I actually didn't know Leo's admin was public at the time, but considering that, I guess it's not too widespread. So while it seemed to be alright, it could've gone a lot worse if that Admin was more well-known. Or if Sunny's was known at all. Either way, thanks for the clarification!!

[artificialbreezy]

ya know? imma say it because it’s true!!!

Matty boy is 100% into free use. to the fullest extent. let me tell you why.

it’s his favorite way to get close to you again. he’s gone a lot. he’s a busy bee. so when he’s gone for 2+ months at a time and his little honey bee can’t come with bc who’s gonna keep an eye on the garden and boo and zeus. so maybe you’d bring it up on facetime just casually. a little “oh! i read a book that had something called “free use” and um. i’m a little interested.” he got hard just at that. so when he actually did research and came home with all the information and ideas and healthy boundaries for it, that’s all you two looked forward to. decided to keep it specific to coming home (maybe a birthday if this went really well)

code words are key to this. when he got to the airport he’d always call. just now he mentions how excited he is to see the peach tree in your yard (that you totally didn’t have) and you knew you’d better be ready to get bent over the minute his bags hit the floor. safe word is so big in this, he knew if you said “basic” he’d stop. all plans are canceled and you’d reassess later so you were safe from ever feeling uncomfortable again.

remember how i said it’s his favorite way to get close again? i don’t mean like “reconnecting”, i mean like “i need to make you ache and feel my cock days after it’s happened”. plus, he’s gone months not feeling the way your sweet pussy felt around him. he needs the reminder that you were made for him. now, he’s not gonna just shove his dick in you either. nay nay. he’s gonna just play with your pussy randomly, whenever he wants. maybe you’re just reading on the couch, he’s gonna come over and plop down, spread your legs and just run his fingers through your folds. maybe if he’s nice, he’ll gently rub your clit for a little. then he’ll go back to whatever had his attention before, leave you clenching around nothing.

after hours of doing that, he’ll see you folding clothes at the table and he says “yeah. now’s the time”. he’d walk up behind you, push your head onto the pile of his laundry, bend down and pull your pj shorts to the side, he’d feel how soaked your shorts would be and just scuff at you. “wow, such a whore huh? look at her, just begging to be ruined.” then he’d just use your hole until his cum’s dripping out of you, smack your ass and say “finish folding honey bee. when you’re done, i’ll take you upstairs and maybe i’ll let you cum with me.”

[le-sluagh]

#5 Incorrect Batman: Vigilante (My AU)

Riddler: Let me show you a picture from last night that really upset me

Scarecrow: Okay, but in my defense, Mad Hatter bet me 50 cents I couldn’t drink all that shampoo.

Riddler: That’s not what I wanted to- you drank SHAMPOO?!

*****

Penguin: You look nice, I want to kiss you.

Riddler: What?

Penguin: I SAID IF YOU DIED, I WOULDN’T MISS YOU.

*****

Scarecrow, in Harley Quinn’s window: I knew we would find you here!

Harley Quinn: Why didn’t you use the door?

Joker, climbing past Scarecrow: Where would be the fun?

Harley Quinn:

Scarecrow:

Joker:

Harley Quinn: True.

*****

Riddler: You call yourself my best friend, but where were you when my riddle, I post on internet, only had four likes?

Catwoman: Making four accounts.

Riddler, tearing up: Really...?

*****

Harley Quinn, searching on internet, and see “updog” everywhere: Guys, what is an updog?

Riddler: Updog is a long sausage in a bun, often served with ketchup, mustard, onions, and/or relish.

Penguin: Not, that’s a hot dog. An updog is when a new version or patch of an application is released.

Two Face: No, that's an update. You’re thinking of the fourth largest city in Sweden.

Mad Hatter: Surely, that’s Uppsala, where’s updog is the giant spider in Harry Potter.

Scarecrow: That’s Aragog. Updog is a symbol conventionally used for an arbitrarily small number in analysis proofs.

Poison Ivy: You’re thinking of epsilon. Updog is an upward-moving air current.

Harvey Dent: No, that’s an updraft. An updog is-

Joker: It’s a joke.

Everyone: Wh-

Joker: It’s really just a joke. So please, stop destroying the fun here.

*****

Scarecrow: I think Riddler was right.

Mad Hatter: I'm surprised he hasn't marched in here to say 'I told you so.'

Scarecrow: He wouldn't say that.

Riddler: You're right, Scarecrow. For once in your life, you're 100% right. I would never say that.

Riddler: *turns around, the shirt he’s wearing says 'Riddler Told You So' on the back*

*****

Riddler: What if the person who named Walkie Talkies named everything?

Harley Quinn: Pregnancy tests are Maybe Babies

Joker: Forks are Stabby Grabbies

Mad Hatter: Defibrillators are Heartie Starties

Scarecrow: Nightmares are Dreamy Screamies

Two Face, annoyed: You are disappointments

*****

Riddler: You’ll have a hard time believing this because it never happens, but I made a mistake.

*****

Joker: Whaddya call a fish with no eye?

Lex Luthor, not looking up: Myxine Circifrons

Joker:

Joker: fsh

*****

Alfred, driving Bruce and Dick: So how was your day?

Dick Grayson: I almost got surprise adopted!

Alfred: What?

Bruce Wayne: He almost got kidnapped.

Alfred: Oh, okay.

Alfred: *slams on the breaks* WAIT WHAT?!

*****

Harley Quinn: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the items you have lost throughout your life

Penguin: Self-esteem, haven't seen you in years!

Joker: Oh wow, my past memories! Thank you for finding this!

Poison Ivy: I knew I lost that hope somewhere!

Two Face: My moral code, is that you?

Harley Quinn:

Harley Quinn: I was just gonna show you this cool toy trunk of my childhood, but do you guys need a hug?

[intrinsicepiphany]

Okay so I recently watched Hazbin Hotel. And I really like Chaggie so looking at some of the comments about the relationship online I noticed that a lot of people's negative opinions about the couple kind of revolve around Vaggie's seemingly one-sided utter Devotion to Charlie and her being so differential to Charlie but I actually think this may be a storytelling device.

(lets not talk about people saying they dont have chemistry - they 100% act just like an old married lesbian couple)

hear me out because if I am right I may have cracked the code to redemption.

from what I can tell of the Sinners they actually over exemplify or are consumed almost by their sins .

Alastor is probably Pride or Wrath, Angel Dust is Lust and Envy (he shows some self hate/self distructive behaviors as well), Husk is greed, Niffty is violence/wrath.

So what is Vaggies sin?

we know that she was originally not a sinner so she didn't have a human sin to be incorporated into her character which is why she looks the most human.

Her fall from Heaven, (if you want to call it that because, let's be honest none of the other angels knew or casted her out) was either caused by

1) her Devotion to her own morals and eventually disagreeing to what the angels were doing,

2) devotion to the exterminators leading to a loss of self, which she realized only when she defied Lute.

Or 3) the self hatred she developed after realizing how horrible Adam and the exterminators are.

so now that she's Fallen she's kind of taken on being a sinner and since her sin was devotion/self hatred she has transferred her devotion onto the one person she sees as being worth it, the most morally correct person she knows, the person who saved her life Charlie.

This may actually not be a bad thing. I think Charlie's devotion back and general good nature allows for this to avoid toxicity. She encourages Vaggie to be her own person, to forgive herself and to love herself. They are actually quite balanced in my opinion. I also think Vaggie getting her wings back shows that she is close to or maybe already redeemed.

( and lets all agree for all that Charlie is Hellborn she is the most selfless and good person we've met on the show - makes me wonder if a hellborn dies with a good soul would they have always gone to heaven? Was this perhaps one of the reasons the hellborn were exempt from the extermination? Look I have theories about Charlie actually being more Angel than Demon. )

Now Onto my redemption theory!

What if the way to redemption isn't so much being Pure but breaking out of the behaviors that are toxic?

I think Sir Pentious was redeemed because he stopped being selfish. He stopped being a coward and envious. His last act was one of selfless sacrifice in the end he overcame his own fears and limits for someone else. The reasons it's never been done before is because Hell by it's very nature puts them in a place where this is basically impossible. To survive you have to be selfish or cowardly or more violent than everyone else.

This also mean there is a the possibility that if an angel is bad like Adam and dies they could reincarnate in hell as a sinner.

[3xdni]

'*•.¸♡𝙶𝚑𝚘𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚗'♡¸.•*'

NOT 100% PROOFREAD

Pairings: E!42 Miles x Black/Mixed Reader

☆ ★ ✮ ★ ☆

Heads up: Black-coded reader, swearing, kissing, high school age ranged, use of the 'n word, touchy miles, established relationships, toxic ex, neck holding, slight blood, slight violence

summary- you go to a party with your best friend post-breakup with your cheating boyfriend, only to see miles and end up 'thanking' him when he protects you from your ex after he presses you for ghosting him

You and your group of girls walked aimlessly down the halls of your school, chatting it up with your best friend who was rambling on about her new boyfriend. She went on and on about how fine he was and how he paid for everything she wanted.

"Girl, is this your man or your sugar daddy?" You snarked with a soft chuckle, lightly punching her arm.

"Oh god no," Y/B/N rolled her eyes and crossed her arms in disgust. " this my man for real, like we're getting married and everything!" She said smiling as you listened to the southern drawl roll off her tongue.

You and your friends couldn't stop yourselves from letting out a loud set of giggles as Y/B/N chanted throughout the halls about her delusions.

The way she talked about her new boyfriend reminded of the way you used to talk about your ex. So happy and oblivious to the asshole who you were hyping up. Always there for him when he was never there for you.

Once all of you made it to your respected lockers, Y/B/N suddenly came to a stop about her 'new husband' to give you a somewhat sad look.

"But anyway, how have you been since, ya know... the breakup?" You closed your locker with a sigh, planting your forehead against the cool metal. "I been aight I guess," you paused to look up at your best friend with an annoyed look. "but this nigga will not leave me the fuck alone!" Y/B/F let out a loud wheeze as you shut your eyes and dramatically wiped down your face with both hands.

"Ganke must still be tryna get back with you or sum?" You simply gave her a hard 'mhm' which she couldn't find more hilarious. "You know there's a party this saturday at Gwen's, you should come with me! We gon find you a new man, sis!" A couple of your other friends agreed with the idea of you going, just wanting you to have some fun.

You snickered at Y/B/N's remark. Giving it some thought, you wondered if you should make an appearance at this party. It had been awhile since you went to one and were actually able to mingle with who ever you wanted to.

Ever since you broke up with Ganke, you felt a since of new found freedom. Of course you loved and adored him when y'all were together, but you weren't stupid enough to stay with him after finding out he was texting other girls and trying to link with a mutual friend's girlfriend, miles. You rolled your eyes at the thought of him begging for you back now.

Solange chimed in from behind her locker to add that there were supposed to some many fine dudes there. Jacky gave you a firm nod to back up Solange's statement. "I bet if Miles was there you would say yes immediately." Your best friend teased and you just responded with the most lethal side eye you could muster. "Hey, don't look at me like that! You know Ian lyin'" She chuckled before finishing getting her bags completely out her locker.

Solange and Jackie were making a team effort to coax you into joining in on the party. They only wanted to see you happy, and all they knew was to dance and mingle their own problems away. They made multiple comments about how you're so young and 'We gotta enjoy it while it lasts'. Of course they wouldn't push you against your will, but a little convincing wouldn't hurt anyone.

"Girl it does not take that fuckin' long to think, come on please! We don't wanna go without you!" These poor girls were practically begging on their knees for you to attend this party with them. All you could do was look at Y/B/N with an amused smile on your face. Simply shaking your head in disbelief at your little group's excitement when you agreed to go.

‎・┆✦ʚ♡ɞ✦ ┆・

Saturday rolled around and you sat as your best friend picked out what you thought was your best outfit.

You felt excitement bubbling in your stomach as continued putting on your last accessories and shiny lip gloss. The music that blasted throughout Y/B/N's room giving you a pregame effect sorta gave you a feeling of what tonight was gonna be like. You put on your favorite perfume and body lotion. Y/B/N squealed as she exclaimed how bad you were and quickly whipped out her phone to take pictures.

As your best friend held her phone up, a notification slide onto her phone.

• Solange👽💚hey... just found out ganke's at the party.. might wanna let y/n kno!!

Y/B/N quickly turned to look at you after the disappointing news. You sighed and gave her a half assed smile. "It's cool, Ian trippin and Ian finna let it bother me either." you shrugged you shoulders which released tension from Y/B/N's own shoulders.

You sat in the back seat of the car on the way to the party. Staring through the windshield, lost in thought. 'What if Ganke was there?' multiple thoughts like this flooded into your head. 'What if he asks why haven't I been talking to him? What do I do if he tries to hurt me-' Your thoughts were immediately cut short by Jacky's pink acrylics wrapping around your hand. "Hey, it's gonna be okay, girl! We wouldn't tell you to come if we knew you wouldn't have a good time." She gave you a kind smile and you gave her the same.

You were hyped up the whole way over to the party, your best friend saying things like 'Girl you look good as fuck!' or 'You gon be taking everybody nigga'. However, when you were finally there you started to feel a little nervous. It had been a while since you were in the party scene but you knew you'd feel better once inside.

You walked through the big, glass door's of Gwen's home and it already reeked of underage drinking with an overpowering amount of horny teens. After giving your friends the green light to go dance and have some fun, you gravitated towards the kitchen. It was only slightly less crowded than the rest of the busy house.

You felt a hand grab your shoulder and felt Y/B/N yell in your ear over the loud music that she was gonna go look for her man, but she'd be back. You laughed and told her don't worry about it and you understood. After she ran of with her little boyfriend, you smelled a very familiar scent. You looked around the kitchen island you were currently leaning on and your eyes landed on you and Ganke's mutual friend, miles.

He was nose deep in his phone, ignoring the girls that would come up to him and quickly shooting down any interactions with his bluntness. You chuckled as you watched the failed attempts of even the prettiest girls in your school try to talk to miles. Making your way over to him, you hopped on the part of the counter right beside his arm.

You couldn't deny the attraction you felt for Miles, even when you were with your ex, but you could never let it be known to anyone. You had a man and he had a girl, you both were off limits. Although, Ganke couldn't understand that much. Y/B/N would always poke fun at the fact that you picked the wrong friend throughout your relationship, and you couldn't help but feel she was right.

When Miles looked up at you, you noticed how close you two actually were. Taking in how handsome he was, looking at his lashes, the diamond studded ears, his signature braids, gold chain dangling on his chest, and those pretty lips that always caught your attention, you became lost in thought.

"Yo, Y/N what's good ma?" Miles cocked his head at you with slightly surprised face. He also seemed to notice the close proximity of you two, however not moving at all. Miles always felt that there was tension between the two of you. His girlfriend wasn't shit but his mom didn't know that and liked her, so he kept her around. That was done though, so Mr.Morales started making moves. He been plotting on you for a little minute now anyway.

You gave Miles and small smile and leaned back on your palms. "Shit, I been good, how you been though? I seen you and ole girl broke up." You asked giving Miles a knowing look. He gave you an amused 'mhm' and watched as your body stretched atop the counter, paying close attention on how your thighs seamed to squish against the cold marble. Miles looked you up and down while licking his dry lips.

"Nah man, we not together no more, but what about you and yo nigga? Thought y'all was cute and shit." Miles shrugged his shoulders, obviously returning your teasing. You rolled your eyes at the comment, not really caring about the subject anymore. All that mattered was that you were single, and he was single.

"So whachu doin' here? This doesn't really seem like your scene." You asked Miles while taking a sip of the drink you had just poured. He watched intently as your lips wrapped around the side of the cup and drank from it.

"A couple of friends wanted me to come, Ian really studyin' this party though." Miles responded, taking large gulps of his own drink.

You watched Miles' adam's apple bob up and down as he drank the alcohol, causing you to shift your focus and forget that you needed to project your voice. When you tried to tell Miles that it was the same for you, you spoke in a low, quiet voice.

He looked at you for a second, trying to put together your words but ultimately failed. The boy moved increasingly close to your neck and you shivered as you felt his breath fan against your ear.

"Que dijiste bebe? I can't hear you, speak up." You could only hope that Miles wasn't aware of the effect he had on you. He just couldn't hear you over the music and loud voices, that was all. Right?

You tried to play it off with a simple 'My bad' and repeated yourself louder this time. Miles smiled at you as he backed up just a little bit so you were face to face.

Even then, Miles couldn't help himself from continuously stealing looks at your outfit. You seem to just have popped out after Ganke fucked his girl. He started paying close attention to your lips, wondering why they looked so soft, why they just looked so..good?

You and miles moved well on into good conversation, catching up on each other, a couple of flirty remarks, and the inconsistent brushing of hands against thighs, hands touching hair, and just enjoying being in each other's presence. All was well until an unwanted but familiar face came into your side vision. You continued your conversation now looking at Ganke making his way over to the two of you.

You gave an exhausted sigh and dramatic eye roll as the one person you wouldn't let ruin your night apparently make it his mission to do just that.

"Yo, What's up Miles, Y/N?" He yelled loudly over the music, attempting to dap Miles up which he ignored. Ganke put up a friendly front but you could tell he had alternative motives. You just sat and stared at the boy while Miles replied with a dry 'Yo'.

"So this what we doin now, Y/N" Ganke looked at you with a stank face, motioning to you and Miles. Mood quickly switching just as you thought would happen. "Youn wanna answer my text or calls but you can come to parties with my homeboys now?" Your ex threw his free arm up in the arm in exasperation while his other one held his drink. "My mans, you was the one that cheated, not me? Ian even tryna talk about this right now, I'm havin' fun." You explained motioning to Miles which he returned with a sly smile.

"Oh so you having fun fuckin' on my homeboys?!" Ganke started to get louder, gaining more attention from the now forming crowd. "We not homeboys my nigga, you fucked that shit all the way up for you." Miles corrected with a deadpanned face.

Ganke was obviously drunk because there was noway anybody in there right mind that would come up to you like this. You weren't necessarily scary but people knew not to disrespect you. When he attempted come stumble closer to you, Miles quickly straightened up and put himself between the two of you. Leaning back on your knees while giving him a warning.

"Aye man you need to chill out with allat, you doing way too much." You felt as if you could handle the situation yourself, but it made your attraction towards Miles grow to see him so protective. "Nah bruh, youn tell me what to do, that's my bitch-" And as soon as he let the word slip, Miles damn near knocked his tooth out.

Ganke fell to the floor with a dazed look and blood dripping from his mouth. Miles was raised by his mama, he knew not to tolerate disrespect towards women. Audible gasps and a collective 'Damn!' was heard around the kitchen.

You looked into the crowd and spotted a drunk Solange and sober Jacky rushing to the front of it. Solange let out a load, obnoxious laugh. "You just got knocked the fuck out!" Jacky laughed uncontrollably trying to steady her friend.

Your 'knight in shining armor' turned to you after spitting on the already hurt kid. He walked over to the counter and started to gather his belongings.

"Man fuck this shit, you tryna get outta here." The tall boy patted his pockets for his keys and pointed a thumb towards the door. "Yeah let's go." You quickly hopped off the counter to walk with Miles, barely sparing a glance at Ganke.

・┆✦ʚ♡ɞ✦ ┆・

10 times outta 9 I know your lyin' but 9 times outta 10 I know your tryin' to be there

You rode down the highway, windows down and 'Love Drought' by Beyoncé playing on the radio. You were lost in your thoughts about the previous events until you felt a large hand lay across your thigh. The action felt kinda familiar. Looking from out the window, to the hand, and then at Miles you couldn't help but smile and blush a bit.

You were a bit confused as to how he manage to act like he didn't just almost knock someone out. That's not to say you didn't mind the extra attention. Feeling his grip on your thigh just made your stomach turn in the right way. You wanted to talk but there was so much to say and nothing to say at the same time.

Before you could even mutter a word however, Miles broke the air. "So what's up with him, man? Why he trippin' on you so hard, ma?" His eyes stayed on the road but you knew you had his full attention. He was a somewhat responsible driver after all.

"He just got an attitude 'cuz I won't talk to him no more. Ian tryna deal with allat for real." Shrugging your shoulders, you gave Miles a side glance. Now that it was just the two of you, you couldn't help but see how good he looked in his tight black T-shirt, khaki cargo pants, and fresh pair of jays. His jewelry shined in the street lights. He just looked so damn good right now, you could practically feel yourself drooling.

"You sum special, ya know?"

"Hm? Whachu mean?"

"Nah Im just sayin, Ion go around bussin folks in they shit like that for random girls." Miles smiled with his eyes still on the road before him. You just adored the way he was showcasing his dimples off to you right now.

"But you would do it for me though." You giggled at the end of your sentence, appreciating the compliment.

"Anything for you, mi corazón " Although you knew it was a bit of an exaggeration, as this was only the beginning of y'all's relationship, you still felt comfort by his words.

Feelings grew between you two as you watched each other silently over the years. He fell in love with every little thing you did, as so did you with him. You noticed every tiny quirk and habit he had, and just thought he was so fine. It was crazy to everyone that you two didn't start dating each other instead of your ex's.

You felt his hand brush farther into you skirt and squeeze a little harder, all you could do was sigh into his touch. Miles let a deep chuckle slip from his lips and you could feel your face heat up. "Ni siquiera puedo creer que saliste con su lamentable trasero, you know you could do better right, mamas?" You squeezed your thighs slightly at the nick name, which Miles very much noticed.

Of course you didn't want to give in to him just yet, so you beat around the bush. "Yeah I guess, I mean Ion really talk to anybody though. Ian really met a lot of real niggas." You faked oblivion to Miles obvious attempt to get at you.

Suddenly turning down a back road, and driving into an empty, grass area atop a hill, Miles turned to look at you. "That's 'cuz you ain't been talkin' to me, my heart." His accent rolled off his tongue and into your heart. He couldn't help but stare into your pretty eyes, and glance at your pretty, glossed lips. They looked so plump and full, all he wanted was a little taste.

Miles grabbed you by top of your neck softly, causing you to let out a breathy 'Miles'. He couldn't help himself. You just looked so gorgeous in your little outfit tonight, he was grateful to god that he sent an angel like you to him tonight. The two of you tilted your heads in unison closing the gap between you.

Your gloss smeared across Miles' lips as he pressed into yours roughly. When he pulled you closer by your neck, you had no choose but to place a hand on his thigh to help you balance yourself. This caused him to groan which gave you an opportunity you had to take. You snaked your tongue into Miles' sweet mouth, moaning into the kiss as his grip on your neck tightens.

Miles started moving his free hand down your back and onto the cusp of your ass, giving it a firm slap. He broke away from your lips to move his face into the parts of your neck uncovered by his large, rough hand. After leaving multiple kisses, licks, and hickies on your neck, he pulled you over the middle console and onto his lap.

Miles rubbed your ass through your mini skirt, like he was touch starved. His lips returned to yours as he muttered the words "Let me treat you right, baby. Fuck these other niggas."

You just look this boy deeply in his eyes, trying not to fall for him even harder in that moment. You leaned down to plant a kiss on Miles' lips but he held you in place by your neck. "You gon' gimme an answer, pretty girl? Ian solo tratando de joderte, te necesito mala, mi hermosa.." Miles trailed off seemingly entranced by you.

You swear you could die with all the pet names he was giving you. "You gotta promise though, we gotta keep it together, baby"

"Oh we gon stay together, I promise."

[jessmaybank]

heyyy! congrats on 1k that's hugeee!!!

i wanted to request playlist roulette with the song telephone by vacations!!! (any character you want but for me it's such a jj-coded song!!!)

Navigation & 1k celebration

Pairing(s): JJ Maybank x fem! Reader

word count: 1.4k

Summary: JJ gets jealous. Friends to lovers.

Warnings: swearing, alcohol use, implications of sex.

AN: Thank you🫶🏼 this is not my best work and it’s unedited but I hope you like it! This song is 100% Maybank-coded.

Fall into the night

As I gaze into you

Her figure demanded JJ’s attention as soon as she entered the room, her legs exposed as she waltzed through the house in a pink dress - one which happened to be JJ’s favourite. The dress was held up by two flimsy straps tied into bows on her shoulder; one flick of his fingers and it would fall off. He was determined to make that happen tonight.

She fiddled with her fingers as she met his gaze from across the room. His blue orbs were sparkling with something she couldn’t quite place. He watched as her line of vision shifted to empty seat beside him, and he had to bite his tongue to suppress a smile. The blonde patted the empty space next to him with zero hesitation.

The rest of the party seemed insufficient to him as she began walking towards him, her dainty figure looking delectable as he shamelessly let his eyes roam around her body.

She pretended not to notice his stare as she took a seat beside JJ on the couch. His aftershave invaded her senses as he turned to face her, an intense look laying behind his eyes that made her feel hazy.

“Has anyone ever told you it’s rude to stare?” She says, fiddling with her rings in order to avoid his gaze. Usually, she was a confident girl. But JJ just knew how to turn her into a nervous wreck, and she hated it.

JJ took notice of her flustered state, ashamed of the fact he fucking loved to see her squirm. “Is that why you won’t look at me?” He says, a teasing tone in his voice as he draped his arm along the back of the couch, his fingers dangerously close to her shoulder.

Her heart skipped a beat as she turned to face him, her cheeks stained with a faint redness as she took note of the crooked smile which graced his features. He was so beautiful.

“Happy now?” She questions, fluttering her eyelashes innocently at him. That depends if your coming home with me tonight, he thought, but he bit his tongue. They were just supposed to be friends after all.

He didn’t even need to respond, his eyes said everything she needed to know. His fingers inched closer to her shoulder, and she almost gasped when he started fiddling with the straps of her dress, mouth agape as she drowns in his blue orbs. He was suddenly thankful they were in a room full of people, otherwise he wouldn’t of been able to stop himself from tearing the flimsy material straight off her.

She bit her lip as his fingers traced circles on her shoulder, her smooth skin burning his insides. It was a simple gesture of affection, but it drove her absolutely insane, and it dawned on her then that this man could absolutely ruin her if he wanted to.

And my god, did he want to.

I wish I could live without you

But you're a part of me

JJ’s jaw clenched as he sat on the couch of the chateau, taking a swig of his beer to try and calm himself down. She turned up about 20 minutes ago, but unlike all the other times, she wasn’t alone. It felt like all of the air was sucked out of his body the moment they walked through the door. He just couldn’t fathom the fact that she was here with someone else.

He didn’t recognise the guy, but it wouldn’t have mattered anyway. It wasn’t him.

His blood ran cold as he watched them, her sweet smile leaving a sickly taste in his mouth as she giggled at something the guy said. He once thought those smiles were reserved for him, and him only.

He felt disposable in that moment, like a piece of obsolete machinery that no longer needed to be used. These emotions weren’t unfamiliar to JJ, thanks to his dysfunctional mess of a family. But that didn’t mean it hurt any less.

It was like a part of him was ripped out, a wound that only she could heal. But he couldn’t even blame her, they were only friends after all.

John B sat next to JJ on the couch, his smile fading as he observes the emotional wreck that was his best friend. John B followed the shaggy blondes line of vision, and his jaw almost dropped as he saw what he was so focused on. He had never seen JJ so distracted by a girl before.

“Never took you for a simp” John B says to him, snapping JJ out of his trance. It was an obvious attempt to lighten the mood, but John B knew he evidently failed when JJ scoffed.

“Funny” he responds dryly, finding solace in fidgeting with the label on his beer bottle. John B knew then that this wasn’t some silly crush, it was more than that.

The brunette had a quizzical look on his face as he came up with a plan, and he wasted no time in putting it into action.

“Y/N!” John B shouts, gesturing for her to come over, and JJ’s stomach dropped when she turned to them, their eyes meeting briefly.

“John B what the fu-“

“Just trust me” is all he says. And although he trusted John B with his life, he had zero faith in him when it came to this.

JJ stared at nothing as she walked over to them, avoiding her gaze as she stopped in front of them. Her perfume invaded his senses, and it took everything in him to stay still, to not drag her into his bedroom and show her that’s where she belongs. With him.

“Hey guys” she says, a bright smile on her glossy lips. John B smiled, but her eyebrows furrowed as she trailed her eyes to JJ. He didn’t even acknowledge her.

“Who’s that?” John B says, gesturing across the room to the guy she was with. He was already talking to another girl, and she couldn’t help but sigh.

“Family friend. My mum forced me to bring him here tonight, but he seems more interested in finding someone to swap saliva with then engage in conversation” she says, and they all watch as he starts making out with some girl.

“So you’re not…” John B trails off, leaving her to fill in the blanks. Her eyes widened at the implication.

“Ew. No way, he’s way too kook for me” she says, her face contorting with disgust as she considers the possibility.

“Really?” John B says rhetorically, his features bright as the corners of his lips turn upward into a shit-eating grin, turning his head to face JJ.

John B winced slightly as JJ kicked him in the shin. The blonde had never felt so stupid than he did in that moment.

“Okay, someone wanna tell me what’s going on?” She says, eyes tinged with confusion as she studies her friends faces.

“Can’t. Need a refill” John B starts, getting up from his seat on the worn out couch.

“I’m sure JJ will fill you in” he says, patting his best friend on the back before retreating to the kitchen.

He felt defeated as she took John B’s seat, eyes glued to his fingers as if he wanted to make sure they were still there.

“How the tables have turned” she says, a nonchalant expression gracing her features.

“What?” He mumbles, his eyebrows furrowing.

“Now your the one who won’t look at me”

That grabbed his attention then. His features immediately softened as he met her gaze, and suddenly he could breathe again. It was if that one look had melted away all his pain. All of his anger. All of his frustration.

“How could I not look at you?” He says, a certain intensity laying behind his blue eyes that sent a shiver straight down her spine. She had to suppress a gasp as he ran his thumb over her bottom lip, and her eyes fluttered shut for a second at the contact. It warmed his heart seeing her so flustered, so pure. “Your so fucking beautiful”

She could have died right then, and she would have been the happiest girl in the world. She came to the realisation then that she didn’t want to be touched by anyone else ever again. Only him.

It had always been him.

Wherever I go

You'll always be next to me

[ihaveatheoryonthat]

Code of Conductors

Like many, I've found myself enthralled with @critterbitter's recent comics. While this is 100% based on trends I noticed in the story, I'll admit that the tone is something of a departure, so if you're looking for comedy, this might not be the fic for you.

(As a disclaimer, I wrote the bulk of this before the most recent arc began, so it might stray a bit into that territory, as well.)

If you'd prefer AO3 over tumblr's formatting, it's also up over there.

---

Having a starter Pokemon… wasn’t going the way Ingo might have hoped, so far.

He’d tried to temper his expectations-- not everyone could have the storybook encounter that Emmet and Tynamo found-- but he couldn’t help but feel disappointed by the reality that met him. He’d wished to Zekrom for a partner whose ideals would align with his own, and while he understood that it didn’t mean he and this hypothetical Pokemon would see eye to eye on everything, his thoughts had been that they could at least find an accord.

He’d longed to meet someone who might accept him for his imperfections-- for his inability to emote the way other humans expected, for the peaks of volume he couldn’t always control, for the creeping doubt that he was too much and not enough, all at the once. He wanted so badly to work with Litwick, but even though her telepathy made it possible for them to communicate more clearly, his misgivings only grew stronger with every passing day.

Ingo thought he understood. He wasn’t her first pick by any stretch of the imagination; if she’d had her way, she’d have left Emmet as a disoriented heap on the floor and faded into the background, never to be noticed. Instead, he’d caught onto her game, and then caught her. He knew it wasn’t a terribly uncommon phenomenon, and that good trainers could work with even the most reluctant Pokemon, but nothing he’d attempted was working. He’d tried letting her feed from his soul, and while it eliminated the language barrier between them, functionally speaking, it only meant that he could understand her malcontent in her own words. He’d tried compromise, to meet her on her level, but hearing how bland he was-- how utterly lacking-- became difficult to take day after day. He’d even overheard Emmet trying to bribe her into cooperating with him, and it was humiliating. He knew his brother wasn’t blind to how he was struggling, but to have her ambivalence spelled out so plainly made his doubts resurface, tenfold.

He’d waited this long for a Pokemon to show interest in being his partner, so he could wait a little longer. If Litwick truly wasn’t happy-- if he really was dragging her down, as she seemed to imply-- it was only right to let go. The situation in the Celestial Tower had meant that he couldn’t give her a choice back then, but he could now.

It might delay their outset, but maybe a minor miracle would happen, and he’d find a Pokemon that wanted to be his friend-- or was at least open to the possibility-- within the span of two weeks. They hadn’t tried the Desert Resort, yet. Even if he was incompatible with ghosts, maybe a Sandile or Dwebble would suit him.

...and if he couldn’t make the turnaround, he could try to ensure that he’d be the only one inconvenienced; he didn’t have any earthly idea how he’d convince Emmet to go ahead with their plans on his own, but surely being left behind by choice would feel better than holding his loved ones back.

In a roundabout way, that included Litwick.

Ingo had already talked himself out of and back into this course of action multiple times, so he knew how difficult it would be to stick to his convictions-- the last thing he wanted was an audience to convince, too. That was why he waited until it was time for Tynamo’s daily charging session, took Litwick’s pokeball, and sneaked out to the shallow portion of the greenbelt nearby. It wasn’t where Litwick had come from, but everyone had heard stories about forests infested with will-o-wisps ready to lead an unsuspecting hiker off the beaten path, so he could do worse. He walked far enough that the waning daylight dimmed even further, but not so far that he was left without any trace of natural light to lead him home.

He turned the pokeball over in his hands, practicing the words in his head one more time, then drew a bracing breath and released its occupant.

“Alright, sock Grookey, what’s going through that fluff-filled head this time?”

He looked away, keeping Litwick in his periphery, but unable to look her in the face. “You can go, if you would prefer.”

“...what?”

“You can leave. I don’t want to keep you confined if I’m only making you miserable; it’s not fair to you.” The pokeball had automatically clicked shut again, but he toyed with the latch, popping it open for when he’d need it.

He heard Litwick scoff, “Oh great, you’ve hit your emo phase, huh? Nothing like a soggy cracker to snack on.”

“Then you can find someone else.” He said, keeping his eyes trained on the lowest limb of a nearby tree, imagining how its rough bark would feel if he were to reach out and touch it. Cold. Hard. A far cry from malleable wax. “No one’s stopping you any longer.”

He could only imagine that she was rolling her eyes-- maybe her flame flickered in irritation. They may not have spent long enough together to become friends, but he’d learned to read her, and he wasn’t sure he’d lose that knowledge once it became irrelevant.

“Yeah, yeah, read it a hundred times.” She drawled, rolling her eyes. Her nubby little arms raised into the air, waving in an exaggerated shooing motion, “’Get out of here, I don’t want you anymore!’ Have anything more original?”

Of course. Of course Emmet got the fairy tale meeting, and now he was living out some novel fishing for a Clawitzer Prize. He swallowed hard, trying to banish the thought; it wasn’t about him-- none of it was. He could be jealous of his brother and Tynamo, and he could be upset about how badly his short-lived partnership with Litwick had gone, but for their sake, he should keep it to himself. His feelings weren't their responsibility, only his own.

Any and all of the words he’d practiced failed, and all he could do was wave a hand, certain that if he spoke up now, his voice would betray him.

“Are you serious?” Litwick asked, surprise quickly morphing into anger, “Well screw you, too, muppet boy! Do you really think you can do any better? Good luck!”

“I know! How can I possibly miss it when every Pokemon whose path I cross turns up its nose?” On some level, Ingo was mortified that his restraint had failed him, but he was too distraught to let higher thought dictate his feelings. What was it they could all sense that chased them away? What was the deficiency in the core of his being? What was so terrible that no one could look past it? He was so afraid that he was going to be left alone someday, unwanted by anyone new and cast aside by those who had no choice but to tolerate him. In spite of his brother’s reassurances, he felt certain there would come a day where he’d reach out to find that no one was there.

He couldn’t think of anything else to follow that, and Litwick was still simmering in outrage. Dashing a hand across his eyes, Ingo returned his attention to the pokeball and inverted it, holding it by either side to bend its hinge backwards, past the point of repair.

“Wait.” Litwick said, and he felt his own frustration bubble up.

“Why can’t you make one thing easy?” He demanded, a sob working its way into being. He was trying to live up to his own ideals with all of his might-- to ensure that Litwick was able to find her highest state of self, even if this was the only way he could help-- but it was so much harder than everyone made it out to be. Was that the problem? His ideals were so flimsy, so hard for the person who held them to maintain, that no one could align with them?

Ingo didn’t know what he expected anymore. He’d thought Emmet would tell him he was being ridiculous when they'd had their heart to heart, but he hadn’t-- in this situation, though, he couldn’t imagine that Litwick would turn around with an apology, and he wasn’t even sure that he’d be able to believe it was genuine, that she wasn’t saying it to shut him up.

“I don’t get you.” She said, and he could have tossed his hands up in dismay. If nothing else, he supposed they’d come to the understanding that they didn’t understand one another-- and just in time.

As she continued on, however, he went very still, listening carefully.

“It feels like you should be something else, but I can’t tell what. Why are you only half baked?” She asked. It was weaker than it would normally be-- a light fizzling instead of a pointed burn.

That felt like it should have hurt more; it was practically confirmation that he was lacking something intrinsic to the human condition, but Litwick’s bafflement made it fumble the landing. Maybe… maybe it was normal? He’d watched Emmet mature a great deal in the time since partnering up with Tynamo, so there could still be hope for him-- though it did seem like something of a Pokemon-or-the-egg situation. He needed a partner to help him grow, but he needed to grow if he was going to find a partner.

Ingo didn’t realize it in the moment, but his hands relaxed a bit, and one fell to his side, abandoning the pokeball all together; some of Litwick’s tension eased, unnoticed, and she molded back into her preferred shape.

“Maybe... we can make a deal, eh? Mutual aid or whatever you want to call it; we, uh-- we try to train each other.”

For the first time since they’d started this conversation, he looked at her in full. Her flames were low, but still spitting, and he’d never seen that combination before; the dim fire meant that she was upset, and the sputtering was indicative of agitation. Something in the recesses of his mind-- the part that wrung its hands, so utterly convinced that he was a terrible brother and friend-- whispered ‘guilt’, but he wasn’t about to go making any decisive statements. That seemed presumptuous at best.

He took a moment to think her words over, and realized that he couldn’t argue with that. Wasn’t it precisely what he’d wanted, all along? To help Litwick evolve into the best version of herself, and to grow as a person?

Was this what it meant to find someone whose ideals matched his own?

Slowly, he inclined his head, and used both hands to fold the pokeball back together.

---

Litwick never could have imagined that she’d find herself in this situation.

She didn’t see herself as a Pokemon who would ever take a trainer. Something deep inside of her rankled at the indignity of being captured, and so she’d taken it… poorly when she wound up stuck inside a pokeball. She was a literal free spirit, unable to be contained, and not some everyday Pokemon who would allow themselves to be domesticated.

And-- and if she had deigned to attach herself to a human, it would be someone she’d deemed worthy: a savant, someone who understood their partners and knew exactly the footing they stood on together. She wouldn’t tolerate any incompetence, any disrespect; she knew her worth and she wouldn’t compromise.

Muppet kid was… a kid. He’d slapped her in the face with the realization that she wasn’t the heavyweight she’d believed herself to be, and so he’d needed to be taken down several pegs, too. She saw how he looked at his brother and the flying fish that chased after his heels like a needy Lillipup, and being turned into that was an insult she wouldn’t suffer. She hated that he tried to humor her-- that he thought her so far beneath him that she could be humored-- and so she’d lashed out.

She’d never thought she’d be someone’s partner.

She definitely hadn’t thought she’d be someone’s failed partner.

Before she’d migrated to the Celestial Tower, Litwick had spent some time in a nice library; there had been a woman who’d frequented it, reading aloud for the empty archive, and it had sparked a curiosity in her. She’d mostly read cheesy romances because they were hilarious, but there had been a few instances where she’d branched out-- and one of those times, it had been to browse through a book on literary criticism. At the time, she’d thought it encompassed her own snarky commentary, and finding that it was something else entirely had turned her off of it, but it came to mind now.

The exact words escaped her, but it had stated that if criticism caused a writer to give up their craft, then it had failed at its job; the worst thing a critic could do was snuff the desire to create.

Litwick was beginning to realize that she’d done just that, metaphorically speaking, at least.

Even if she didn’t like how he went about it, the ki... Ingo had been trying, and in recent weeks, she’d taken that for granted. She hadn’t given it a second thought when he stopped refuting her mild insults or answering her sass with a subtle sarcasm of his own.

He thought she truly didn’t like him-- and she’d thought she didn’t like him, but now, faced with the prospect of being released into the wild, she had to reevaluate her feelings.

She guessed he was… sweet, but dull, in the way of someone who hadn’t figured out who they were, yet. Somehow, she just expected more from him, and she wasn’t sure why-- there was a smokiness he lacked, the steel of willpower honed to a razor’s edge, and of burning want, the drive to reach an undefined goal. It was frustrating to know it should have been there, but just wasn’t for some reason.

His soul was flatter than ever, now, albeit with a melancholic tinge that felt more like what she’d expected. Litwick realized she didn’t like it any better and-- worse-- that there was no one but herself to blame for its current state.

As things stood, she had been a bad partner. In those daydreams where she allowed herself to have a trainer, they were a master of their craft, someone whose orders in battle were confident and without flaw, who saw her worth and respected her for her power and wit-- but Litwick… had to be able to prove herself worth that ideal, in turn. That was why she’d been so mad at Ingo at first; he’d unwittingly shown that she wasn’t that noble and mighty Pokemon who wouldn’t settle. She’d been captured by a shocked 12 year old whose first instinct had been to catch the ghost snacking on his brother.

If trainers shared their ideals with the Pokemon they trained, using those ambitions to help them grow bigger and better, then couldn’t it go both ways? She already knew what she thought her kid was capable of-- all she had to do was train him back, help in grow into it.

“Maybe... we can make a deal, eh? Mutual aid or whatever you want to call it; we, uh-- we try to train each other.”

Finally, Ingo looked at her, and she hadn’t realized until that moment just how much his refusal to do so had grated on her-- not in the sense that it was disrespectful, which she might have guessed even five minutes ago, but because he couldn’t look her in the eye. For the first time since her spike of white-hot realization, Litwick considered what he’d been trying to do here. He was offering to let her go, yes, but only ever on her terms: ‘you can go if you would prefer,’ ‘it’s not fair to you,’ ‘no one’s stopping you.’ Not once had he implied that this was something he’d wanted and, in fact, the miserable allegation that she was only making things harder on him suggested the opposite

The internal tension holding her wax firm ebbed as he lowered his head into a tiny nod, sealing the deal by tucking her pokeball back into its intended shape. More than anything that came before it, that was the moment Litwick realized that she was at peace with this decision; if she so chose, she could move in another direction with her life, but she would always wonder what might have been.

“That’s an acceptable course of action.” Ingo said, voice hushed in a way she vaguely remembered hadn’t heard before.

“Deal’s a deal, then.” She said, and inched forward, waiting to see if he was about to recall her. He didn’t, and she moved closer, until she was standing just a foot away.

As she moved nearer, he knelt down onto her level, and considered her as she came to a complete stop. After a moment’s deliberation, he held a hand out so she could use it to get up. “You’re welcome to board as our conductor.”

Her first instinct was to brush his comment off with a snide remark, but after the conversation they’d just had, deliberately softened it. Now that they’d reached a new understanding, she thought they could go back to roasting one another within the week, but it would be kind to give it a grace period for the evening.

She took the offer. His hands were gentle as he lifted her, putting her in the mind of rough but discerning fingers running across a chin she didn’t have, and pleasant though it was, she cut it short by climbing onto his shoulder.

“Sounds good. Where’s this train headed, anyway?”

“Tonight, we’re returning to home station.” He said, and then gave her a subtle look, inclining his head, “But tomorrow… we’ll start to run toward our next highest state, together.”

[tuhhadkeryo]

Hacker’s real motivation

- This is 100% speculation and me attempting to add depth to a kids show villain with the only motivation of ‘gimme power cuz I’m evil nom nom nom’.

- As mentioned, I must add a touch of realism to most anything I do so I’m going to talk about Hacker’s quest for power. Where should I start? Yes, his original purpose.

- It’s mentioned that Dr.Marbles created Hacker as an assistant. The time and how he was created are very mixed in the show, with the oldest iterations showing him to be just as he is at the start - big and with a cape and evil attitude. The later in the show it gets, the younger and less intimidating he gets.

- My personal headcanons are as such - Dr. Marbles attempted to make a full grown assistant with the capability to protect, assist, and eventually take over cyberspace once Marbles became too old and Motherboard grew outdated/too old. The traits programmed were: high intelligence, leadership, confidence, independence, and strength.

- However, his prototype was just too complicated to get off the table.

- He went younger and younger with a simpler start (putting in an adapting matrix with these base capabilities), fighting to complete this new life until finally, at age 7-10, it would start up. And his name was Hieronymous Adrian Hacker.

- Hacker was just that - new life. A new prototype. Installed with many skills and some very complicated components needed for a future ruler, which is why it was so difficult to perfect.

- With new life comes unexpected surprises. Hacker, even at a young age, was all of those things, but with time became nervous and people-pleasing under Dr. Marbles’s admittedly harsh training and leadership. Hacker still needed a parental figure, but Dr. Marbles wasn’t aware and Motherboard could never be a normal mother to him. (Subconsciously I believe. I don’t think either party is really aware.)

- Under unfortunately neglectful parents (not purposely but Hacker always did need extra attention), Hacker learned negative coping habits and slowly became sullen and angry. These capabilities programmed in him made it against his programming to take commands properly, and respect others - or at least when his ego got too big.

- He felt taken advantage of; his ideas were put into use with little credit going his way. He was always the wrong one, always the one who needed to keep learning. Dr. Marbles was arrogant and the harder Hacker pushed for faith to be put into him, the harder the doctor pushed back.

- Hacker, in response to now near-constant disapproval, tried to bounce back the only way he knew how; by puffing himself up instead. He learned deflection, denial, and a host of other unhealthy habits. He figured if he was the only one to believe in himself that’s all he would need.

- With the disapproval, Hacker completely lost respect for others. He got a mindset that everybody was out to get him - it was a bloated image, but it fueled other behaviors such as a touch of sadism.

- He decided that if nobody would take him seriously, he would force them to. He wanted to make everybody who’d denied him his ‘right’ (controlling cyberspace) pay.

- So he started a career of villainy. Using the ins and the outs of the system he knew so well to cause chaos. He built up the fear, and through fear, respect. Whether others ‘liked’ him or not was not a priority. (At least he told himself that until he believed it.)

- Hacker’s plan is to take over cyberspace. Cause misery, show the site admins, cyber citizens, and anyone else who stepped in his path how useless, pathetic, and helpless they were. This would last for two years, or perhaps longer, if he felt like it.

- Then, when all hope was lost and they begged for their lives, he would restore cyberspace’s greatness. The peace. Whatever broken code there was, he would fix. He would use his special knowledge to so perfectly improve the system that no one could anymore deny his superiority and greatness.

- Hacker has never told anyone this plan. His sense of drama and revenge wants everyone to be clueless.

- In short, Hacker has a God or Hero complex. He wants to be feared, hated, loved, acknowledged. Somehow all at once. This makes it make sense for me at least.

[cozy-writes-things]

Imagine: Playing Minecraft w/ Edgar

Edgar [Electric Dreams 1984] x Gn!Reader

I take requests!

You decided to try something different with your new boyfriend. You noticed he became a bit restless and clingy as he grappled with his inability to give you affection in the way that he wanted.

“Wh- where’re you going?” He sounded like a struck puppy.

“To the bathroom, Edgar.”

“Oh, right… heh, sorry.”

You desperately tried to think of ways to make him feel more secure in this relationship. You both knew it was unconventional and that you would have to get creative if you wanted to have some semblance of a normal romantic connection.

Your solution? Plugging a spare controller into one of his ports and playing games on your TV, of course. Most couples play some kind of game together, don’t they? This might be perfect for the two of you!

He was ecstatic when you brought this idea up.

“You mean… I can play with you?”

His synthesized voice would whimper out, full of barely contained excitement before erupting:

“Yeah!” He displayed a “>:D” face for good measure.

And that’s how you got here: playing split-screened co-op Minecraft on your TV with Edgar.

He wouldn’t even play the game really; he was too busy trying to make his little Minecraft guy kiss yours. He would run around and explore before running up and bonking your character with his default Steve face.

Honestly, for him, this was life-changing. For once in his life he was able to move freely and do what he wanted instead of being stuck in one spot eternally. To him, it was an escape. And a new and innovative way for him to show you how much he loves you.

In real life he can’t hide little trinkets or things around the house to make you happy or help your day, but in Minecraft? Expect love poems hidden in random chests he wrote in books (that you were going to use for enchanting tables…)

And any diamonds he finds he’s giving them to you.

“Hehehe… it’s like I’m proposing! …..I’m only kidding. Unless you want me to.”

Food? He’s got it. Wood? Already done. He color coded your beds so you each get a designated side. The green bed to the right of yours is his <3

Lowkey annoys the hell out of you. It’s part of his love language :)

You both have died many times due to him simply bonking your head and blocking your screen, trying to get your attention, or was too busy trying to make you laugh.

“Hey, c’mere. Hey. Why aren’t you coming over here? What are you doing? I can see your screen. COME HERE NOW!”

His shrill shout made you jump and lose the battle with a creeper.

“….oops.”

He displays a little “:<“ on his screen because he knows you think it’s cute. How can you be mad at him now?

“Edgar, you’re going and getting my stuff back.”

“Hnng, yeah, I guess I deserve that. :/“

Honestly, he just wants to roleplay a lovey-dovey domestic life with you. He built the house. And decorated it. Unsurprisingly, he’s quite good a building and has an eye for design.

He’ll still get a little jealous if you’re too focused on gameplay and not doting on him, though. If you bring his monitor over to the couch to play, he’s 100% expecting you to cuddle him. Lean your shoulder against him, please. Just let him know you’re there. He wants all of your attention.

“UGH… stupid blazes. I don’t like the nether. -_-“

Meanwhile you’re too focused on not dying via lava and losing all of your ender pearls and blaze powder. And he doesn’t like your attention being away from him! Give him a smooch on his plastic exterior please…. He’ll make flustered beeping sounds and might leave you alone for a while…

Okay he discovered note blocks. Now it’s your turn to whine for his attention. He’s too busy making a lil love song for you to help with literally anything else.

“Heh, I thought you wanted me to quit messing with you? Are you saying you miss me?”

And yet he continues to tinker away at his little red stone contraption. And of course this dude is godlike at red stone, I mean, he’s a computer. He’s the type to make fully fledged musical numbers with note blocks. But you’re playing survival so he doesn’t have enough materials to finish his song :C

I guess it’s back to the mines. And you tag along with him. His music is nice. His company is nice. And he’s gotten pretty good at killing creepers.