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silentmoths · 2 years

Note

Heyo, can I request celeb zhongli x afab, long term fan reader with a 20+ age difference in a modern setting

oh how DARE you request something so violenetly up my alley heheheheeee

sorry if my writing seems all over the place rn, i'm down bad with the flu and using these questions as reasons to stay awake lmao

CelebZhongli x long term fan AFAB reader

Modern setting, age difference, Zhongli is turning keqing's hair grey, suggestive/almost smut.

Your day had not been going well, not at all.

between being late for class, your professor being an absolute dick about it, being called on constantly to answer questions you had no idea on, the weather being shit, and walking right into one hell of a rush as soon as you'd clocked into work, you just wanted to perish.

you'd just started your break when someone approaches you, a tall man, wearing sunglasses and a hoodie, he definitely didn't look local, but even without seeing his eyes, you could tell he was handsome, atleast if the way your mouth runs dry is anything to go by.

"Ah, pardon me, I'm new to the area...I saw you working the counter back there so I wanted to ask if there was anywhere around here you'd recommned for a decent cup of tea?"

Tea, huh? yeah, definitely not from around here...pretty much everyone this side of town wer vehement coffee drinkers...but you did have a few places in mind.

"actually? yeah! theres a little hole in the wall cafe nearby if you wanted somewhere quiet?"

"That would be perfect. could I trouble you for directions?"

"No trouble..actually, just follow me, it's a nice a place as any for my own lunch break." you chuckle, the man offers you a small, warm smile and does indeed follow you "so what brings you here, Mr. Out-of-town?"

The man chuckles at his new nickname "if you promise not to make a scene, I can tell you."

"well now it just sounds like you're a bank-robber."

"I can assure you my presence here is legal."

"Than my lips are sealed, strange, not-a-bank-robber."

He chuckles again, leaning down a little to whisper "I'm actually here working on a movie...but sometimes I enjoy giving my manager the slip to explore."

Immediately you want to shout, but you'd promised to keep quiet, so you settle for floundering like a fish for a moment. "a-a movie eh? wow, fancy."

You try not to pry about it as you continue walking, but internally you're desperate to know more, perhaps this dude knew Zhongli on a personal basis? would it be rude to ask him for his autograph? what movie was he working on?? agh so many questions!

"thank you for not causing a scene, allow me to pay for your lunch as thanks." he offers the moment you slide into the cafe.

----

"s-so, what movie are you working on?" you really can't help yourself, not when theres a literal fucking moviestar sitting across from you, chatting as if you're an old friend.

"Ah, It's the newest installment of the Rex Lapis movies." He shrugs, you feel your heart stop.

"N-no way, really?"

He nods "indeed, the mountain ranges around here are a lovely backdrop...you know Rex Lapis series?"

"Do I know it? they've been some of my favorite movies since I was a kid! I don't know how they managed it but even in the first ones, Morax's dragon form has always looked so good, the combination of animatronic and CGI is actually what got me into FX in college...and don't get my started on the actors! I've been a huge fan of Zhongli since...well, forever, I swear he doesn't age it's not fair ugh-" you only become aware of your ranting when he chuckles.

"I see, well, It's lovely to meet a fan of the movies who's interests lie simply outside myself."

what.

"Although, do I really not look like I age?"

W H A T.

Slowly, the man before you removes his sunglasses, pushing the hood from his head and you feel your soul leave your body.

you'd know those amber eyes anywhere...that dark hair that naturally lightens at the tips...that red flick of eyeliner that was actually a tattoo...

"y-y-you're-"

Zhongli smiles at you

"A pleasure to make your aquaintance miss..?"

"ah! (l/n)! (f/n)(l/n)..."

"hm, what a lovely name." He hums, taking a sip of his tea as if he hadnt just dropped the equivilent of a nuke right on you.

----

"THERE YOU ARE-" you nearly screech when the cafe door bursts open, Zhongli however simply sighs and frowns.

"oh, and here I was hoping I could play hooky a while longer."

"For the love of GOD Zhongli you cant just VANISH like that!" a woman you can only assume is his manager screeches at him, all while he quietly finishes his tea. "And who is this? has she been security checked!?"

Immediately the security personell following the manager turn their eyes on you, eyeing you up like a peice of meat. Just as quickly, Zhongli is on his feet, standing between you and his own security detail.

"Relax Keqing, I simply asked miss (l/n) if she knew anywehre I could find a decent pot of tea here, and she delivered beautifully, no need to panic.

His manager, Keqing, aparently, sighs and crosses her arms, glaring down at you.

"Well, just to be safe I'm going to need your contact details. if my star goes down anytime soon you're our first port of call."

you squeak, but nod, quickly pulling a pen and notebook from your bag, hoping to god none of them see the little morax keychain dangling from the zipper as you scribble down your name and number, tearing the page out and handing it to her. You're about to duck the pad back when Zhongli himself descends, stealing the pen from your hand and writing something down, closing the book and tucking it into your bag with such easy grace that you feel air leave your lungs.

"Thank you for the lovely tea today." he murmurs, and you swear he winks at you before security escort him from the cafe, leaving you sitting there like a stunned mullet.

----

your phone buzzes against your chest sometime later in the night, who the heck could be texting you this time of night? digging it from within your bra, it's a number you dont recognize.

'I am sorry kequing cut our chat short, perhaps we can meet up again?'

your heart actually stops for a moment there, surely this was a joke? you look at the number, you really dont recognise it, and yet you find your hand delving into your bag, the bag you hadnt touched since leaving the cafe. Opening up the notebook you'd used earlier-

there's the number, just below his autograph....zhongli had given you his number.

'did you steal my number from your manager???'

'hm, perhaps.'

you shouldn't, you really shouldn't, this was Zhongli, a very busy celebrity actor who 100% did not have the time to be playing aroun with some 20 something college student...but fuck it.

'prove it'

you dont know what you expect, perhaps a photo? but within a few moments, your phone is ringing.

"h-hello?"

"is this proof enough for you, miss (l/n)?" god you wanted to pass away right then and there.

"Y-yeah..."

"so, about my previous request-"

----

you never meant to let this get so out of hand, but damn him and his pretty face and his silver tongue. every time you'd attempted to bring up the fact that he was way out of your league? he simply shrugged and said he liked having someone so down to earth to talk to...

the amount of times this fool had managed to give his manager the slip over the last few months was...concerning, even more so that she soon began showing up at your workplace looking for him.

However, things come to a head when you're caught with him by paparazzi no less.

It had been a pretty routine day, youre both walking through a local park when Zhongli notices the flash first, his hand immediately flying to yours and tugging you in the opposite direction.

"we need to get out of here, quickly." He sighs, grip on your hand tightening.

you quickly take charge, dragging him along as you duck around the playground and out the other side of the park, down the street and around the corner, into an apartment building, bundling him into the elevator.

before you've really come to your senses, zhongli is in your miniscule studio apartment, god you're pretty sure his trailer on set was bigger than this... but he simply smiles at you, grateful to be away from prying eyes.

"My apologies darling...I honestly didn't expect paparazzi to come looking for me here."

"i-it's alright...lets just...chill here for a while."

Zongli only smiles, squeezing your hand again.

----

"mmph, Zhongli-"

"shh" he hushes you with another kiss, pressing you down into the bed again. It had started when he'd noticed a very....interesting pillow strewn across your bed, he'd chuckled, having apparently known about them but never having seen one in person.

of course you'd had it flipped to the shirtless side...you thought he'd be...disgusted? embarassed? but no, he simply blinks at it and laughs.

you wanted to die, how the hell had you ever ended up in this situaiton? apparently sensing your shame, he simply pulls you close and kisses you, stunning you and pulling every ounce of air from your lungs.

"We've been seen together now...either way the tabloids are going to go insane.." he whispers as his lips trail from yours and down your jawline "it was, unfortunately, bound to happen eventually...hah...I didn't want this for you...but I'll make sure you're taken care of."

you swear half his words are going over your head, what was he talking about? you tug at his jacket until he finally moves that sinful mouth away from your neck for a moment, god he was so beautiful it hurt sometimes.

"w-what are you...?"

he sighs, sad smile on his lips "I was hoping...to perhaps keep our meetings private until I'd finished filming...but I got greedy... now we've been seen together, rumors will begin to fly about us being a couple."

oh...

"I-its alright...I-I understand...I can take a bit of-"

"but you do misunderstand... I would very much like for this to continue..."

what

"I've been in the public eye for so long that Its...difficult to find someone who treats me as an equal, even after discovering who I was, and knowing how much of a fan you are of my work... you still treat me like a person and not something made of glass... I don't want to give that up." He takes a moment to glance over at your desk, strewn with various collectors items of, well, him, before turning back to you.

"would you allow me to continue being greedy?"

your mind was all over the place, this had to be a dream, surely? if it was, you hoped you never woke.

"yes..."

Zhongli's smile only widens as he descends upon your lips once more, hands, which up until now had been nothing but respectful and graceful, push their way up the inside of your shirt.

----

Keqing is, as expected, not happy at all when Zhongli finally calls for a car, but her anger melts away to shock when he tugs you into the car with him, uncaring of how flustered and stammery you were.

"I take it you knew about the paparazzi then?" she asks, pinching the bridge of her nose, holding up her phone with her free hand, the picture if you and him wandering through the park already online.

"indeed, hence why miss (l/n) will be spending the next week or so in my trailer, lest they continue to hound her." Zhongli sounds far too chuffed with himself as he all but tells his manager this "I'm sure she'll be quite useful on set too, she's a big fan of the series and would be a quick learn."

Keqing only sighs, she knew that tone, Zhongli was relatively easy when it came to management, he very rarely wanted for anything she couldn't provide, his little solo outtings were his worst habit.

but this? this wasnt a request...and if anything, she hadn't seen him look anywhere near as happy on set in months.

so instead of arguing, she simply sends a few text messages to relavent people and prays this wouldnt bite her in the ass later.

#zhongli x reader #Genshin Zhongli #silentmothwrites #silentmothasks

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sizhuyu · 3 years

Note

Hi! Can i request the juniors (+nie brothers if you're interested)'s reaction to reader leaning against them and falling asleep on their shoulder? maybe before they've started dating but the characters already have a crush on reader?

hmm.. I think I have read something similar in one of my books- but here is your request! :

Nie Huaisang -

The man may have or not read books about this scene but he never expected it to happen to HIM. You, leaning your head on his shoulder because you were over-worked with tons of projects. “Let me rest for awhile.” You say before you drift to sleep. You don’t see it but his face is burning with red, maybe Wei Wuxian will tease him later about that. But nevertheless! He treasures that moment. Nie Mingjue -

When you first leaned your head on his shoulder, he was so confused on what to do. But then he noticed you slept and he tried to wiggle you awake but no. The amount of work you had to do today was a hill of papers and taking care of some Jin kid that your friend asked you to look after. Thankfully, the child is now asleep instead of ranting to you. “5 minutes.. please.” You said but it took you 3 hours until you finally woke up. “Rest some more, you need it.” He says as he pats your head while focusing on his work. The man is multi-tasking and he doesn’t mind. And this is you afterall, how could he refuse?

Lan Jingyi -

What? W H A T? He was shocked okay. You, the person who was so energetic, wakes him up in the middle of the night Just to tell your 3 am thoughts from his window.. Now is sleeping. ON HIS SHOULDER? But honestly he finds it really cute. “Jingyii.. wake me up laterr..” You say as he justs huffs “Honestly.. You could’ve just slept earlier.” You were lucky he doesn’t tell on you to Lan Qiren. He waits for your response but then even when he talks loudly, but no so loud, you didn’t answer. “Hah.. What will I do with someone like you.” Don’t get him wrong, he liked it.

( I wanted to do Ouyang Zizhen but nvm ) Lan Sizhui -

Eh? EH?! His face is red, eyes wide and you were sleeping. Honestly panics inside while he struggles to even keep his composure! “Y-Y/N.. You will get in trouble..” He tries to pat your shoulder you just move closer to him. Okay theres a storm of emotions running through him, good job you broke him. He stays there steady, looking at you. Adorable but then the 3 juniors ( Zizhen, Jin Ling, and Jingyi ) had to interrupt. “OH? OH-“ Zizhen immediately dragged the 2 out of the room and left you and Sizhui in the Library.

A/N : this was so old i’m so sorry-

#mdzs fanart #mo dao zu shi #grandmaster of demonic arts #grandmaster of demonic cultivation #founder of demonic cultivaition #founder of diablolism #nie mingjue x reader #nie huaisang x reader #lan jingyi x reader #lan sizhui x reader #mdzs fanfic #mdzs fanfiction #nie huaisang #nie mingjue #lan jingyi #lan sizhui

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heyitsyn · 4 years

Text

Put A Ring On It

a/n: lmao tooru would actually beat your booty if you ever date kags

anon request: hii can i have a hc like the oikawa sister reader x iwa but now with kageyama?? like the reader is literally the princess of seijoh and never liked anyone until he met kags?? tysm! u make such a cute ff

requests open!!

he might not smile much but when he does, its the most beautiful smile I've ever seen

king and queen of the court??

lmao im getting chills

so since tooru went to kitagawa, it would be natural for him to want his baby sister to go there too right?

you are actually 2 years younger than tooru so that would make you about kags’ age

you are well-known throughout the school as oikawa tooru’s little sister and people also flocked to you since you got the good genes as well

but you were never interested in fear that they would take advantage of you for your brother or to just parade you as a trophy

anyways

you liked volleyball like your brother but you didnt want to play in a team so you just went to their practices to help the coaches

youve heard about this prodigy setter named kagayama tobio, who was also the grandson of a known volleyball couch

but youve only heard bad things about him

tooru lit rally comes home ranting and complaining about this new kid who is great at setting and you were just like, ‘okay and?’

‘y/n-chan! theres an outsider threatening to take your brother’s place! aren’t you worried for me?!’

‘nii-chan, its just volleyball’

‘just-just volley-! that’s it im disowning you’

while iwa just watches from the sidelines

oikawa just shouting and yelling in front of the fridge while you sit on the barstool while eating a banana, looking unbothered

keeping up with the oikawas part 2

you kinda knew him because kindaichi, who is your classmate, talked about kageyama, who was in kunimi’s class

‘tooru-nii never shuts up about him’

you complained to kindaichi one day

‘is he really that good?’

you knew the talent you brother had and the hard work he puts in volleyball as you were usually the one who woke up at night to help him with his knee pains

so you slightly understood his threatened feeling of this mysterious prodigy who just suddenly enters the team

‘he’s not terrible. maybe its because theyre the only setters in the team so oikawa-senpai is threatened about his position being taken’

‘but as long as he’s not a starting, then no foul done right?’

wrong

unfortunately, you were there to see tooru break down during practice when kageyama asked him how to serve

since you usually walked home with your brother and iwa-chan,

get yourself protective brothers

you were forced to wait until he was done with practice

captain duties and all that

and you were getting tired of just waiting in the cold so you go in the gym to tell off your nii-chan when you see him raise his hand at this tobio boy

‘iwa-chan!’

you shriek and he was able to stop tooru from hitting their underclassman

‘oi! oikawa tooru!’

kageyama looked horrified and was so scared that he dashed off

ngl, you felt bad for him and you knew that your brother was probably just overwhelmed w the incoming interhighs and he was just getting frustrated

so when iwa nodded at you that he got tooru, you went after kageyama, who was tossing the ball up in the air

he tossed it up once, expecting it to come back down but you snatched it right up

he turned to see a girl who looked exactly oikawa-san and he backed away

you saw him step back and you pouted

‘ehhh~? am i that scary to you, kage-chan?’

omg the way you even talk was like him

‘are you oikawa-senpai’s sister?’

hes heard little about you from kunimi

you nodded and gave him a smile before sticking a hand out

‘oikawa y/n, at your service’

‘ah, k-kageyama tori-bio’

you giggled at his flustered look

‘what is it? torio? tobio?’

ofc you already knew but he was so cute to tease

‘i-it’s tobio’

he was red at the embarrassment of messing up his own name but you thought he was so cute and a bean

you heard from kunimi that he wasnt very social and mostly keeps to himself or the volleyball team

‘sorry about my nii-chan, kage-chan. hes just stressed right now. dont worry, he’ll come around. i’ll make it up to you in his place, okay?’

your eyes scrunched up as you smiled to try and diffuse the situation and save your brother’s arse

he owes you

‘its okay. its also my fault for pestering him about it so i should apologize’

omg this boy is ADORABLE

DLKAFDKLJAFALSFEJISLKDJ

‘tobio-chan!’

you shrieked before hugging him and nuzzling your face into his shirt

‘youre so sweet! you dont have to do anything!’

he was actually taken aback by your expressive personality and wasnt used to being fawn upon, especially by a cute girl

he remained frozen on the spot and you worriedly let go, thinking he stopped breathing

‘tobio-chan? did you die?! tobio-chan!’

from then on, you just seemed to see him everywhere

for months you didnt even know this boy but suddenly, after the accident, you were just seeing him everywhere

from your classroom, you’d see him at the yard with kunimi and kindaichi as they toss the ball around

i will always think that this trio were initially friends at the beginning!

he seemed to be a very shy boy and was constantly trying to keep his emotions on check

but you saw the smiles whenever he thinks the two arent looking

that was probably why you absolutely had the biggest crush on this boy

but you didnt realize that you had a crush on him

you just wanted to help him come out of his shell and help him smile more bc it was so beautiful

so you cornered him by his locker one day and your cute smile made his cheeks go on fire

‘FIREEE~~~~ BULTORUNE!!’

‘tobio-chan! i want to be your friend!’

he was SHOOK

girls never really talked to him, much less his frightening captain’s cute sister

no words came from him as he just looked at you with wide eyes

‘o-oikawa-san?’

you pouted at the formal use of your name

‘haaa?! tobiio-chan! call me by some cute nickname too~!’

you crossed your arms and stomped your foot on the floor

omg no stop this at once little girl

he turned even redder and quickly stuffed his things in his bag before dashing off

‘eh?! tobio-chan!’

his days were filled with that

you were constantly yelling his nickname with a smile when you would see him and he would blush then run away

even during practice, you would basically act as their manager by giving them their towels and water

but it was obvious that you would pamper kageyama more

that irritated your brother

he dragged you home one day and was basically interrogating you

‘n/n-chan, youre not having a crush on that bastard kageyama are you?’

you glared at your brother, offended at the way he called tobio

‘don’t call him that, nii-chan! i will hit you!’

you shrieked and punched his gut

‘HES NOT GOOD FOR YOU, N/N-CHAN! HES A THIEF!’

tooru shouts and thus began the arguments between your fascination with kageyama

but you didnt care because you intend to uphold that promise and reach that goal through

all you wanted was to see tobio smile freely

one day, you were walking to school earlier than your brother when you saw kageyama at the intersection

your eyes lit up and you bounded up to him

‘tobio-chan!’

his eyes widened and he quickly turned around to walk away

ngl that hurted a bit

‘tobio-chan?’

that small voice made him stop and his head turned to look at your watering eyes

‘tobio-chan, do you not like me?’

you were so used to being liked and fawned over your entire life that the thought of somebody not liking you was so hurtful

maybe thats why you liked kageyama tobio though

he was focused on running away from you rather than going to you

for the first time, you would have to be the one who chased rather than being the one running

kags was worried bc his sister always told him to never make a girl cry and here he was, watching your eyes tear up

‘y/n-san, please dont cry’

you watched him walk to you and shakily wipe your tears away

a smile formed on your face at the touch of his fingertips and you hugged him

lmao we really bokuto 2.0

kags didnt know what to do bc if he hugged you back, that would give you a wrong impression of him wanting to be your friend

but he didnt want friends, he just wanted to play volleyball

but he smelled a faint strawberry scent from your hair and he unconsciously leans in, wrapping his arms around your body

at the feeling of him returning your affection, you giggled and tightened your arms around him while burying your face in his chest

‘do you want to be my friend now, tobio-chan?’

you were so insistent on being a friend that kageyama was touched at your efforts

he was just like

f it shes pretty and nice, its fine

he nodded

and thus began a cute friendship

well, more like a one-sided friendship since you were the more lively one than him

you would run to his classroom with kindaichi and eat with kags and kunimi

you would give him parts of your bento and you would hold his hand

thisgirl does not know personal space

one lunch period, you were all eating lunch when you were suddenly thirsty

you let go of kags and stood up, making the boys look at you

‘im thirsty so ill get something. want anything?’

they shrugged and told you to get whatever so you skipped to the vending machine

yall idontknow how to skip so i just kinda gallop

you got banana milk for you and random things for kindaichi and kunimi

but you didnt know what to get kags

you thought you would know since youve started being friends a few weeks ago but you really didnt know what drink he liked

so you chose the only blue thing they have

you went back to the classroom and gave their drinks but you sheepishly smiled when you gave kags his milk

‘i didnt really know what you liked so i got a blue carton because your eyes are blue and they reminded me of you’

kindaichi and kunimi gave you a disgusted look while kageyama blushed at the thought

this folks, is why kagellama tobiyolo is in love w that blue carton of milk

slowly but surely, kageyama has started opening up to you and you were so happy that he was starting to smile more around you

it took a few months but you were finally considered a friend

ofc tooru was deeply unhappy about this and always tried to foil plans between you and him but you were not having that

he was even harsher during practice but since youre always there, you would take a page from iwa’s book and yeet a ball to his face

‘i will hit you, nii-chan!’

it was a shock to the school that you were actually showing interest to someone since you rarely gave anybody else a second glance

and it was to this shy boy, kageyama tobio, no less!

when oikawa tooru has finally graduated, you breathed a sigh of relief

you were bumped up to best friend by kageyama and you always walked home with him

iwa-chan liked you (in a brotherly, platonic way) enough that he would even keep tooru in his house so you could hang out with kageyama longer

also, kags has finally came up with a nickname for you and has finally called you by something informal!!

imsoproudofhimohmygosh

‘n/n-chan, my mom’s cooking tonkatsu tonight. you wanna come?’

he asked you one night and you nodded eagerly, excited at the mention of your favorite food

‘yes! you dont even have to ask!’

you hummed as you skipped down the road, still holding his arm, and excited to meet his family

but to kags, this was a way more serious affair

youve never met his family before and hes worried that they might embarrass him in front of this cute girl

and he was right

when they stepped in, his sister, who was back from college, peaked and saw her little anti-social baby brother with a really really cute girl

‘mom! tobio brought a girl home!’

he shuts his eyes in frustration but you squeezed his hands

‘dont be nervous, tobio-chan. im right here, okay?’

oml he doesnt deserve you

his mom was so excited that he even had a friend and quickly finished dinner

you bowed in front of his parents and sister before introducing yourself

‘hello, my name is oikawa y/n. its really nice to meet you and thank you for inviting me to your lovely home’

‘omg oikawa-chan is so nice! dig in, everyone!’

kageyama met the eyes of his family and his heart swelled at their approval

it made him like you more

waitt, like?

like, as in, romantic?

like as in, i like you more than a best friend?

like, as in, i want to be your boyfriend?

he choked at that last thought and you hurriedly gave him his water, patting his back

‘daijobu, tobio-chan?’

no luv, life is not daijobu right now

he nodded before sighing in relief

one look at your face and all the thoughts started happening again and he turned even redder

dear god, he actually had a crush on you

nah, itll go away

right?

nope

this is a fanfiction kags, youre meant to fall in love with us

at the passing of his grandfather, tobio was an actual wreck

an emotional, mental, and physical wreck

he skipped school and constantly practiced at the backyard and refused to eat his meals, wanting to stay outside with his ball longer

at his second day of absence, you went straight to his house and when his mom opened the door, she gave you a sad smile and pointed to the back

you saw him trying to do a serve only for him to miss and hit his head before shouting curses

never have you seen him miss a serve

you studied his appearance and your hands trembled

his eyes were red with even more red around his eyes, chapped lips from the constant biting and the bruised knuckles from probably punching something

the last time you saw him was at the funeral after he asked you to go with him and you were so worried that he would turn out like this

‘tobio’

you softly called out and he paused, not moving to get the ball

he heaved a wheeze before choking out a sob

you ran straight to him and gathered him in your arms, cradling the back of his head to your shoulder

throughout your friendship, tobio has never been so affectionate

but right now, you were the only thing that made everything seem normal and he held on to you, so afraid that you might disappear too

as if knowing his concerns, you ran your hands through his hair

‘sshhh, it’s okay. im right here. im not going anywhere, tobio. im right here, okay?’

even you were hurting

everything started because you thought he was beautiful when he smiled so you made it your mission to keep that smile alive forever

but when hes sobbing and in pain, it gives more value to that smile because underneath all that, he was just a shy little boy who had a passion of volleyball

you didnt want to say anything to him but everyone knew that he wasnt exactly the same tobio

if anything, he was much harder with himself and trained even harder

he was staying later in the gym and he was starting to snap at everyone, even kindaichi and kunimi

they got into a massive fight during practice and everyone went home angry but he stayed after, putting his frustrations into doing jumping serves

you watched from the sidelines and when you saw him fall, you rushed over and gently patted his face to get rid of his sweat

‘tobio-chan, let’s go home’

he shook his head

‘no! i need to perfect this-!’

‘tobio-chan, lets go home’

your voice became stronger and firm so he hung his head low

‘you dont understand, y/n. i need to be strong and i want to be the last standing on the court’

you flashed a crooked smile

‘did you forget who my brother is, tobio-chan? i suffered through it with nii-chan so im not going through it again, especially with you. so come on, lets go home’

everyone in the school became wary of the former shy boy who seems to glare at everything and everyone

you were even told, straight to your face, that you were wasting time being his friend

‘ne, y/n-chan. kageyama-kun is so mean so you should stay away from him, okay?’

you glared at them before slamming your book close

‘say one more word and i will shove this book down your throat so youll never be able to utter a single sound ever again’

go off sister!!

you stayed with kageyama, even if he got frustrated and got angry at you, but he was your best friend and youve been friends for years

and you still want to see his smile

tooru was practicing a lot again and your sister and takeru were at tokyo for a trip so you were home alone

so you texted kageyama that you were coming over and he didnt respond which you took as a sign of agreement

so at your trek to his house, you hummed as you swung the bag full of meat buns and cartons of milk when you saw your 3 friends

you were about to shout and raise your hand when you saw kindaichi harshly push kageyama back and kunimi separating the two

‘you-!’

kunimi saw you and hissed at the two

‘stop this right now. y/n-san is over there’

you shouldve known then that everything was falling apart

at this point, you were the only one he let in as his family was too afraid to push him too far

you should be happy, right?

he was smiling around you and only you

only you were able to see such a beautiful thing

but now,

you were not happy with the way he acted towards everybody

during that iconic game in his last year of middle school, he pushed you away too

the locker room was tense and kindaichi was about to yell at him when you knocked

‘tobio-chan, can we talk?’

he wordlessly threw the towel down and hefted his bag before going outside to follow you

omg im getting flashbacks from my shirabu ff from yesterday

you grabbed his hand and pulled him in for a hug

youve given him many hugs before but this time, it was so strong and different than the others

his arms were around your shoulders while yours was around his torso due to your height and your head was leaning against the place where his heart would be

‘im going to seijoh, tobio-chan’

you paused, gauging his reaction

he didnt say anything, just keeping you in his arms

not iwa-level-bara arms but a healthy-muscular-arms

‘tooru-nii wants me to spend one more year with him before he goes to college and theyre saying my grades are enough to keep me there. but if you dont want me to go, i wont’

‘what? why wont you? its a good school and you deserve it’

his grumbles were still frustrated but he was rather calm whenever he talks to you

‘you wont miss me then, tobio-chan~?’

he could feel you pouting and that made him smile

‘i wont since youll come over to my house everyday’

you pulled your head away with mock surprise

‘everyday?! tobio-chan~! youll really miss me~!’

so you went your separate ways

but you spent every day of the summer together

much to oikawa’s dismay

and during your first day, he was reluctant to let you go

for 3 years you walked together at the same direction to the same place

but now, youd have to part ways at the same intersection

you softly smiled and giggled when he refused to let go of your hand

im busting uwus just writing this yall

my fingers said ‘free reign!’

‘tobio-chan~! i’m going to be late~!’

you playfully whined and gently pulled your hand from his grasp

but he didnt let go, still holding your hand while the other was in his pants pocket

‘we should skip today, n/n. we can go get meat buns and popsicles and-’

you walked back to him and wrapped your arms around his torso, chin rested on his chest so you could look up to him

‘as much as i want to, my grades and attendance need to be high, tobio-chan~’

he scoffed, ruffling your hair

‘once i become a professional player, you wont need to work. i can support us by myself’

bruh hes already thinking they would get married or something

you scrunched your nose in distate

‘i want to make something of myself. i was given a life so im going to live it’

‘but that means spending less time with me and-’

‘tobio-chan, i know what youre doing. stop stalling and let me go to school already~!’

‘no!’

he refused and caged you in his arms while you wiggled and laughed

‘ill see you later! i promise! now i need to go or nii-chan will yell at you~!’

with great reluctance, he let you go to school, pouting and everything

that cute pout he has oml

as your figure became smaller the farther you walked, you turned around and saw him still standing there and when he saw you look at him, he raised a hand

you jumped and cupped your hands around your mouth

‘MISS YOU ALREADY TOBIO-CHAN!’

i reference my previous works constantly

pedestrians looked at you weirdly and looked at kageyama too causing him to get flustered and run to school, your laughter echoing behind him

seijoh was already expecting the arrival of oikawa’s cute little sister and once you appeared, woohoooo

you got your own fanclub of ladies and genitals

they flocked over to your desk after tooru and iwa dropped you off at your classroom during lunch

‘ne, oikawa-chan, do you see anyone cute today?’

‘iwaizumi-senpai is cute, dont you think?’

‘no! yahaba-senpai is cuter!’

‘matsukawa-senpai and hanamaki-senpai are not bad’

we have matsuhana rights in this household

but you remained quiet, focusing on your phone as kageyama complained to you about some tangerine looking fool

‘oikawa-chan!’

that caught your attention and you smiled gently

‘hm?’

they giggled at your rosy cheeks

‘she has a boyfriend, probably’

you shook your head

‘no. i dont’

‘well, do you have anyone you like?’

you thought about it and shrugged

‘ive never really liked anyone before. i dont care about having a boyfriend either since my brother and tobio are enough for me’

that traveled quickly and soon, everyone was trying their best to woo the little princess oikawa

from lunch suggestions to study dates,

they all wanted to be closer to you

but you always refused,

‘tooru-nii wants me to eat lunch with him’

‘im hanging out with tobio-chan after school’

‘iwa-chan doesnt like you so no’

lmao yes

you were famous around the school for the way everyone treated you and catered to your needs to gain your favor

exactly like a princess

the princess of aoba johsai

the princess of seijoh

she ruled the court alongside the Grand King Oikawa and everyone practically worshipped them

everyone wanted them to like them, just a little bit, but you remained closed off to romantic relationships

when tobio texted you about the upcoming seijoh practice match, you were bouncing on your heels in excitement as you waited for them in the gym

kindaichi and kunimi were rolling their eyes at you

the other members of the team knew of you and were confused at your behavior

‘her boyfriend’s on the karasuno team’

‘the king of the court’

‘eh?! boyfriend?!’

‘y/n-chan, can you hand me my bottle?’

he wasnt answered as you shrieked and sprinted straight to kageyama who appeared at the door

‘tobio-chan~!’

you launched yourself and latched yourself to him, tobio immediately supporting you

‘geez, n/n, not in front of everyone’

you giggled

‘i missed you so much, tobio-chan~!’

‘then transfer over’

‘i cant do that! you know that!’

everyone was S H O O K

‘is she,,,, your girlfriend, kageyama?’

daichi and suga asked but the boy turned red before shaking his head

‘my friend’

‘ehhh?! you have friends?!’

hinata shut up i swear-

you cheered him on despite being on the other team

you got even louder when you saw your brother playing and he complained about your loyalties

‘you cheer on for your boyfriend but not your brother?! what is the meaning of this n/n-chan?!’

you rushed to give him a towel when he motioned you to do it for him like you always did

‘i want a girlfriend too’

‘we’re not dating you idiots!’

kageyama shouted from the sidelines to the orange hair kid

‘but you act like,,, that’

you smiled

maybe dating tobio wouldnt be a bad idea

i mean, hes cute, adorable, talented, funny, nice

you could deal with it

‘so youre syaing, we act like it already?’

you questioned towards the grey-haired guy who nodded

‘whaddya say, tobio-chan? should we hurry up and put a ring on it?’

he spluttered, almost choking on his water

‘r-r-RING?!’

‘well, you said youd support us in the future, right?’

‘i mean-yea-but’

‘okay then its settled’

both teams gawked at you while kageyama was too busy trying to not have a nosebleed or a heart attack by how fast his heart was beating

you turned to your brother who was looking like his entire world was crumbling

‘OI TOORU-NII! TOBIO-CHAN AND I ARE NOW DATING AND WE’RE GOING TO GET MARRIED!’

oikawa screamed

yall this is so long im--

884 notes · View notes

ssamie · 3 years

Text

ten. love is war!

oikawa tooru x fem langa!reader

(hq x sk8 the infinity)

warnings: spelling mistakes, swearing, 2k+ words, u have langa’s blue hair sorry

gen masterlist. "snow" masterlist

oikawa grumbled under his breath as he walked alongside of y/n. normally, he would be more than happy to be hanging with her so casually. but that certainly wasn't the case at the moment, seeing as, not only is iwaizumi with them, but also the five other friends of hers

"hey hey, where are we going exactly?" oikawa whispered to her

y/n peered back at him and smiled "well, we're just going wherever. it's been pretty long since i last saw my friends, after all" she said "but you can stay behind if you don't wanna come with oikawa-san" she said with furrowed brows as she took notice of his grumbling

oikawa took one quick glance at reki and grumbled even more as he shook his head "no, im coming with!" he huffed

y/n nodded and chuckled sheepishly "okay, oikawa-san.. tell me if you need anything" she said

"hey, actually.. am i even allowed to be here?" oikawa asked with a look of dread as he looks around them

joe, cherry, miya, reki, and shadow were casually chatting along and yet he felt a little left out.

"of course, oikawa-san" y/n reassured him with a smile "why? do you feel awkward?" she asked him. she then averted his eyes towards iwaizumi and mused "even iwaizumi-san is getting along with them quite well" she said

oikawa sweat dropped and followed her line of sight "that's cus he's bonding with joe over some weird crossfit stuff!" he exclaimed. oikawa sighed and stared longingly at his best friend "even miya likes him" he playfully cried "all that kid does is bully me and call me a slime" he sulked

y/n sweat dropped and chuckled at his antics. "well then, you can stick with me if you want" she mused. "i won't let you feel left out, oikawa-san" she chuckled "since you did the same for me when i fist joined the team, remember?" she smiled

oikawa stared up at her with comical tears flowing down his cheeks and beamed "thank you! you're the best, y/n-chan!!" oikawa cheered

y/n laughed as the brunette hugged her arm and leaned down to rest his head on her shoulder. "you look silly oikawa-san, please stand straight" she sweat dropped as she struggled to walk with his towering form clinging onto her

oikawa laughed and did as he was told, though still keeping their arms locked together. "dont be like that, y/n-chan~" oikawa cooed "y know you love me" he grinned cockily

y/n chuckled and sighed "sure, oikawa-san. whatever you say" she said

from behind them, reki watched with a smile as she and oikawa goofed around. he's always happy to see her so lively and becoming close with new people, after all.

"well..??" miya mused as he gestured to the two with an expectant look

"well what?" reki tilted his head in confusion

miya rolled his eyes and pulled him down to his height to whisper "aren't you gonna do something?" he asked

reki furrowed his brows and let out a sheepish laugh "what do you mean?" he asked "what do i need to do?"

miya sighed in exasperation "you're so stupid. no wonder you can't go up from your position as a slime" he said

reki huffed and ruffled his hair, making miya groan in annoyance "don't call me stupid! also, what're you even on about?" he said

"what're you gonna do if she suddenly gets together with him?" miya asked him

reki blinked in response and let out a nervous laugh "what..? what kinda question is that?" he mused

"and what kind of answer is that?" miya spat out in annoyance "you know what? whatever" he said "just don't blame anyone but yourself if y/n suddenly finds a new best friend and gets a boyfriend that isn't you" miya sneered

reki frowned and hit him in the head, making miya whimper "shut up! she won't do that" reki said with a meek laugh

reki peered up at her, watching as she listened to oikawa with a weary look on her face as he rants to her about something stupid with his usual charming but cocky grin.

"she won't do that." he muttered to himself. "she promised."

soon, all of them had arrived at some random restaurant since y/n and reki had been complaining about food for about an hour straight, and frankly, cherry has had enough.

"y know, you probably should've declined adam's beef" reki mused. y/n raised a brow and looked at him in confusion "what? why?" she asked "i won either way.."

reki sighed and turned to look at her "well yeah, but adam's totally nuts! and didn't you promise you won't skate with him anymore?" y/n gulped and looked away from him "i did promise that didn't i.." she mumbled

"well, it's whatever." she waved it off "it already happened. besides, im totally fine!" she grinned

reki watched as she went to grab some of the food, only for her to wince as her wounded hand grazed the hot bowl. "ow" she winced under her breath as she cradled her hand

reki sweat dropped and laughed at her "see? what'd i tell you" he mused as he went to grab her hand "here, let me see—"

he couldn't seem to finish his sentence since he was beaten to it by oikawa's interjection. "tsk tsk, y/n-chan you gotta be careful you know?" oikawa playfully scolded her as he grabbed her hand and gently massaged her palm to try and ease the pain down

y/n huffed and nodded along as she let's oikawa hold her hand for a while longer "sorry, oikawa-san" she muttered as oikawa playfully pokes her cheek to annoy her

"hm." reki pursed his lips as he let out a low hum, watching the scene play out with partial confusion and annoyance

"haha! be careful next time!" reki exclaimed with a grin as he ruffles her hair and pulled her closer to him, making oikawa loose his grasp on her. "yeah sorry" she grinned sheepishly as she looks up at reki with reddening cheeks

reki side eyes oikawa and sends him a smile, to which the brunette responded to with an irked and painfully forced smile in return

"haha, well then.." oikawa mused "here you go, y/n-chan" he said as he held a sushi before her with his chopsticks "you should let me feed you since your hand's pretty messed up" oikawa suggested with a smile

y/n looked up at the brunette and then down at the sushi and eagerly nodded. "okay!" she said as she went to chomp on the sushi, only to be met with nothing.

"eh?" she mumbled in confusion as she stares at the chopsticks which were now empty

"actually, i'll do that!" reki interjected with a sweet smile as he snatches the sushi from his chopsticks with his own "here, y/n! say 'ahh!' " reki cooed as he held it to her with his hand cupping the underside from crumbs

"oh.. um.. okay?" she muttered in confusion as she turned to face reki with her cheeks slowly heating up "a-ahh" she smiled nervously as she went to eat the sushi, only for it to be snatched away once again

"my my, reki-kun~" oikawa cooed with an irked smile "you shouldn't pass around people's food" he said "now it's all mushy and gross" oikawa stiffly laughed as he put away the sushi and reached for a new one

reki took a deep breath and sent him an equally irked smile as well. "ah is that so?" he chuckled "my bad.."

"have this instead then, y/n" reki said as he reached for a dumpling and held it to her mouth

"have this instead, y/n-chan~" oikawa cooed as he held the sushi to her mouth as well

"oh..okay.." y/n sweat dropped as she looked at the two boys beside her with a look of dread. "actually, maybe i'll just finish my drink for now—"

"ha, see! she didn't want the sushi anyways! haha what a shame!" reki cooed as he taunted oikawa

"well apparently, she's also not in a dumpling mood, is she, reki-kun?" oikawa cooed back through gritted teeth

as the two boys telepathically argue, y/n sat quietly as her stomach grumbled, wanting nothing more than to eat at the moment.

"geez. those two slimes really are a good-for-nothing" miya said with a sigh. he then turned to y/n with a smug cat-like grin and held his chopsticks out for her

"guess i'll have to feed you instead" he cooed with an evil laugh

y/n beamed and happily munched on the food, "thank you, miya" she said with a smile as she lets miya feed her the meal

miya chuckled and sent the two boys a smug smirk. reki and oikawa deadpans at him and huffed. "did he just." oikawa muttered "yeah he did." reki replied

"just how long is this gonna go on for?" shadow sighed as he watched oikawa and reki subtly shove each other by masking it with friendly smiles and conversations

"dunno, but im enjoying this!!" miya exclaimed as he happily let's y/n feed him as well

shadow deadpanned as he watched the boy purr and roll around like an over joyed cat.

"well of course you are" he sweat dropped

"man, just how long til we get there?" reki groaned out as he shuffles around in his seat

"but it's so boring! why can't we just skate there" reki huffed as he reluctantly planted himself still in his seat

"you're not a child. stop acting like one or im kicking you out of this car" cherry said in annoyance

"because it's too far and everyone here will pass out from the heat" cherry responded with a sigh "also.. if its so hot.." he trailed off. "then why are you two cuddling as if its the peak of winter?!" he exclaimed as he gestured to y/n and reki, who was pressed against each other as they both practically melt into a puddle

"because reki said he missed me" y/n replied "so i wanted to comfort him"

cherry peered down at her with a grimace as he took note of her sweat drenched face, and her meek smile "you're sweating all over the seats. that's disgusting." cherry deadpanned

"but i don't want reki to be sad" she reasoned

"he looks perfectly fine to me" cherry shook his head in exasperation "and you." he averted his eyes towards miya "what are you doing?"

miya looked back at him and grinned sheepishly "we're bonding, don't you see?" he cooed with a playful scoff

"bonding?! who the hell said that?! get off me!" oikawa exclaimed as he tried to pluck miya off of his lap

"we're bonding!" miya hissed at him "it just so happened that theres an ac directly above you, so this position is necessary" he said

"piss off, catboy" oikawa playfully scowled at him "if it's so hot then take off that damn cat hoodie you have on!"

"no way!" miya exclaimed as he tried to pry away oikawa's hands, thus causing more chaos within the car

"hey stop moving around!!" shadow scolded them from the driver's seat "and you two love birds! stop sweating on my seats!"

"we're not sweating on them!" reki exclaimed

"its practically river back there, shut up redhead!"

cherry had a look of dread on his face as he managed to just sit and endure the whole thing. though that was soon ruined as he turned to look at joe and iwaizumi, only to find them arm wrestling like a bunch of crazy gym freaks.

"arm wrestling? really?" cherry scoffed in disbelief "in the middle of a car ride? in a moving vehicle?"

"dont worry kaoru!" joe mused "im totally beating this kid"

"yeah right" iwaizumi grinned as he slammed joe's arm down with a look of triumph

"what the?!" joe spluttered "no way! kaoru! he cheated i swear!" he exclaimed

"i don't care" cherry grumbled back "hey, step on the gas and just take us there for christ's sake" he said to shadow with a weary sigh

"geez, no need to tell me twice" shadow replied

"WOAH!" reki and y/n cheered as they looked around the empty skatepark "SO COOL!" they exclaimed as they ran around the open space

"how'd you find this, oikawa-san?" she asked the brunette with sparkling eyes "i didnt think miyagi even had skateparks!"

reki perked up and faced him "girls? do you have a girlfriend already or something?" he asked the brunette

"oh? you like it here huh?" oikawa mused "then let's go again sometime" he suggested "also, one of the girls at school told me about it" he said

"i don't" oikawa replied with furrowed brows "why?"

"no reason" reki cooed as he have oikawa a friendly pat on the back "just thought it'd be weird to be so close to y/n if you have a girlfriend"

"but you don't so it's fine.. totally fine.."

"oikawa-san is very popular at school so he has a lot of fangirls." y/n explained as she skates past them

"popular?!" reki exclaimed in surprise "you're popular, oikawa-san?!"

"huh? so what if i am?!" oikawa huffed in response "and why are you so surprised?!" he narrowed his eyes at the redhead. "well i didnt think you would be famous like that" reki said with a laugh "well i guess it makes sense since you're an athlete and all"

oikawa sweat dropped and peered down at him "i can't tell if you're mocking me or if you're being genuine" he said

reki smiled at him and sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck "im being genuine" he said "its cool that you're a big shot athlete already at your age. you're probably really talented too" reki said "you're pretty admirable, oikawa-san . i can see why y/n enjoys being with you" reki let out a soft chuckle

oikawa's eyes softened at his words and awkwardly shuffled in his place. "you're pretty cool too, reki-kun" oikawa admitted with a sigh

"im kinda jealous of you, actually. you don't even have to try and yet.." oikawa trailed off as he watched y/n look at reki with love filled eyes from afar.

reki looked at him and tilted his head in confusion. "yet what..?" he asked

oikawa shook his head and waved it off "nothing, nothing. nevermind" he chuckled "just go skate or something" he said "i'm staying here"

reki grinned and playfully slapped his back. "don't be like that!" he laughed "you're the one who brought us here, so you gotta join in on the fun!" reki beamed as he dragged oikawa over to the rest of the group

"oh? have you two finally made up?" cherry mused as he watched reki drag oikawa around, while the brunette complains about the wind ruining his hair.

"made up? but we never fought" reki mused as he got in his skateboard

"you say that as if we didn't have to sit through your passive aggressive exchange during lunch" shadow sweatdropped

"eh? what'd you mean?" reki cooed "your memory's going stale, old man shadow!"

"im only twenty four!" shadow yelled back

"over already?!" reki whined as they reluctantly followed them to the car

"well, its already dark" iwaizumi said as he stretched his arms over his head. "and we've been here for hours"

"hes just sad cus he hasn't skated in forever" miya sneered as he skated past them and placed his board into the trunk

"fine" reki sighed in reply. "hey, was it fun?" he asked oikawa, making the brunette shrug. "it was fun, yeah.. though falling on my ass wasn't exactly the greatest" oikawa replied

"exactly! let's just stay here for a while!" reki pouted. "we can skate again tomorrow, reki" y/n said with a smile as she patted his back reassuringly

"don't worry, oikawa-san! you were actually pretty good!" y/n complimented him with a grin

"yeah yeah, you flatter me too much!" oikawa chuckled as he nudged her playfully with his shoulder

"anyways, im pretty tired." she yawned. "i think i'll just sleep on the way home" she said as she entered the car and sat down on the leather seats

"..."

oikawa and reki side eyed each other, shuffling on their spots as they send each other one last 'friendly' smile before sprinting towards the car, trying to claim the seat next to her.

"what the hell" iwaizumi deadpanned as he watched them push and shove each other as they fought for the seat beside her "i thought they made up already" iwaizumi sighed

"and are they really that dumb to not realize she's sitting in the middle." miya chimed in as he peered at the two with a grimace

"you can sit on both sides, slimes!" miya yelled at them

"oh right" they both muttered in realisation as they quietly take their seat on either side of her.

"ehem." reki fake coughed. "y/n!!" he cooed at her with a beaming smile

y/n looked over at him with tired eyes and smiled back "yes reki?" she asked as her cheeks gradually heat up

"if you ever wanna sleep, you can use me as a pillow" reki suggested with a grin as he patted his shoulder

"me too! but im probably more comfortable since reki-kun here would probably poke your eye out with his spiky ass hair" oikawa cooed with a sweet smile

y/n spluttered as she looked back at oikawa with a look of disbelief "what? his.. his hair?" she muttered

"awh! but oikawa-san, you might suffocate her with the amount of hairspray you have on to keep your hair in place!" reki cooed back with a giggle

y/n sweat dropped and nervously looked at the two boys as they continue to smile and beam at each other despite their awfully insulting words. "i see.." y/n nervously chuckled. "well, i appreciate it" she said

"no problem!" they beamed at her

"its been half an hour." miya commented

"yeah." iwaizumi nodded along "what's gonna happen next? i think i know."

miya hummed and side eyed them. "y/n's asleep." he muttered in a deeper 'narrator' type voice

"i see." iwaizumi nodded

oikawa hummed to himself as he slyly watched her head slowly starting to fall and instinctively lean against somewhere. "wow. this ride's pretty long" oikawa mused

"her head is falling." miya said. "i see." iwaizumi replied.

"mhm." reki nodded

a soft sigh could be heard as y/n's head slowly falls towards reki's direction, causing a smug smirk to form on his lips

"the slime won." miya clapped quietly, with iwaizumi sulking for his friend

oikawa gritted his teeth as a vein popped out of his temple out of frustration. he swiftly grabbed her head and dropped it down to his own shoulder, waking her in the process from the sudden pull

"what the..?" y/n mumbled as he looked up at oikawa in confusion

"nevermind! the other slime won by force!" miya commented as he glared at oikawa while iwaizumi smiled proudly

"what're you doing?!" reki exclaimed as he grabbed her head and forcefully rested it on his shoulder instead

"im letting her get comfortable, that's all" oikawa mused as he placed her head back onto him

"reki?! oikawa-san?! what are you guys doing?! " she frantically asked as she felt her head being shook around, and her neck coming close to snapping

"shh! sleep!" oikawa shushed her as he held her close and gently ran his fingers through her hair. "i- why are you guys pulling on me?!" she shrieked out

"okay that's enough." cherry sighed as he turned around to hit both boys on their head with his fan "let the girl rest. and stop fighting." he sighed "just sleep altogether or something"

"how?!"

in the end, oikawa and reki ended up resting their head on her shoulder while iwaizumi rests peacefully beside them. miya, however, was sprawled out on top of them with his head on y/n's lap and iwaizumi holding his legs down to keep him from slipping

all in all, it was a cute sight, and whether they admit it or not, joe, cherry, and shadow definitely took loads of pictures.

"geez." joe sighed

"these kids are making me feel old" he mused "when was the last time we were like this, kaoru?" he asked as he gestured to their sleeping figures.

"since never." cherry deadpanned "not once did we ever do that" he said, making joe sweat drop

"sheesh, atleast play along or something"

sorry for the spelling /grammar mistakes if there are any :>

idk if this is good i'm so sorry 💀

56 notes · View notes

julie-thefatones · 3 years

Text

Ghost of You || Luke x Reader || Part 4

A/N: Your best friends with Julie, since the stamp was removed from the boys they are able to be seen by lifers at choice and can touch lifers at choice, but are still ghosts. You and Luke grow closer and closer starting to go from friends to more than that and everyone starts to notice, it just takes a little longer for you two to figure it out.

Part 1 , Part 2, Part 3

Side Note: The song that Luke "writes" about Y/N is in fact Moving Along by 5 SOS look it up its a good one

Word Count: 3,088

WARNINGS: 16+ (Sexual References)

It had been weeks since yours and Lukes encounter, in fact you guys have barely talked.... Anytime you guys hung out it was always with the group and only the group and every time he would barely even look at you, you didnt really know what to think of it .... you missed him, yeah you knew that it was gonna be different than before but not this different... You were walking out of 4th period when Carrie came jogging down the hall to catch up with you "Hey Y/N! im gonna walk with you" She said in her normal high pitched Carrie voice, you gave her a shy but inviting smile and then hugged your books to your chest, you hadn't really felt like your self since this whole thing happened, Carrie could see the sadness in your demeanor "Are you okay Y/N? you have been down for like..... weeks" Carried asked with concern, you kind of sighed because thinking about it was hard enough let alone talking about, but you thought your friend deserved an explanation, you glanced in Carries direction "Not really" you said with sadness in your voice "Me and Luke had an... incident so to speak a few weeks ago and it kind of caused a rift in our friendship and now he won't even look at me or talk to me....." you sighed and looked down at the floor "I miss him" you said in a barely audible sad tone, Carrie came closer to you and put a gentle hand on your back showing she cared "Can I ask ... what happened between you and Luke.... you guys were so close, like it was rare to ever see you guys not together" Carrie asked in a soft tone trying not to be pushy, you contemplated on telling her or not *What do I got to loose* you thought to yourself then stopped walking, turning to face Carrie

"Okay.... you just cant tell anyone okay" you said getting close enough to Carrie so that only she could hear what you were saying, her eyes widened with intrigue "Yeah, I promise Y/N" she said urgently to insure you knew that she wouldn't tell a soul "Me and Luke......" you started saying, then stopping to look side to side, to make sure that no one was listening to what you were saying, then looking straight back into Carries eyes "Me and Luke, almost slept together... like it was going to happen but then ... Alex and Reggie Poofed in and then it was a huge mess and then Me and Luke agreed to just be friends and now we are here" You said in a slight urgent whisper, Carries mouth was wide open with shock with her eyes bugged out of her head "Carrie?" you said widening your eyes in concern to why she wasn't answering yet "Carrie!" you exclaimed in hopes she would snap out of it "YOU AND LUKE WHAT!" she yelled in which you immediately slammed your hand over her mouth "Can you not yell maam" you said with tight lips and wide eyes, Carrie shook her head yes under your mouth and relaxed, you released your hand from her mouth in which she started talking instantly "Im sorry! you and Luke what? why am I just now hearing this" Carrie exclaimed in a whispered tone, you sighed and continued walking down the hallway, in which she followed after you "Because I didnt want anyone to know .... I didnt want to make a big deal.... especially since Luke isn't even talking to me ..... I don't know... I just really really miss him" You said in a melancholy tone, Carrie looked at you as if she was gonna say something and then Alex poofed in right in front of you and Carrie, stopping you both in your tracks "Woah! Hey Alex" You said in a high pitched tone, you thought you would be used to them popping in like that by now but you weren't "Luke misses you too! hes driving me crazy" Alex exclaims motioning his hands from his head like he is going out of his mind, You just look at Alex not really knowing what to say, Carrie just looking back and forth from you to Alex waiting for one of you to speak again, Alex continues on with his rant "Y/N! hes so mopey, hes just sitting around all day writing in his stupid freaking song book with his sad Luke face! and anytime I try to ask him to do something or ask him what wrong he just looks at me with that face you know that Luke face that is just like brooding and HIS LUKE

FACE!" Alex says in frustration all while pacing back and forth in front of you guys, messing with his hair in frustration and annoyance, and then he abruptly stops in front of you with wild eyes, grabbing both your shoulders "Y/N! you gotta go make up with him or something! I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE!" Alex exclaims, you had to admit this was slightly entertaining you couldn't help but chuckle, but then you sighed thinking about the *You gotta make up with him* part of what Alex said "Theres nothing to make up, we aren't fighting ..... we just ..... I guess aren't as close as we were" You said back to your sad voice , Alex rolls his eyes throwing his hands up in the air doing a slight twirl to face away from you and then a quick motion back to face you "BULL CRAP! YOU GUYS CANT GO FROM ALMOST BONING EACH OTHER TO NOT TALKING AT ALL THAT FAST!! YOU GUYS NEED TO TALK! NOW" Alex exclaims, now pushing you toward the door, Carrie just laughing and then following after to not miss anything "GET HIM OUT OF MY STUDIO, AND FIX HIM!" Alex continues pushing you out the door, him and Carrie just standing in the hallway looking out the door as you walk down the street in major confusion to what just happened, Alex sighs "I really hope I got through to her but wasn't like mean ya know" he says tilting his head to the side as he watched you walk away through the school doors, Carrie tilting her head in the same direction but snapping it up ward to look at Alex "No I think you did a great job! very well executed" She said with reassurance, Alex snaps his head up to look back at her "Thank you, ya know I just ..... I really want Luke out of the studio" He said bringing his hand to heart.

As you walked down the street you decided you weren't gonna go see Luke, it just felt too weird and you didnt want to impose, you just decided to go home... you just wanted to sleep! not talk to anyone or deal with anyone! just sleep! you thought to yourself....... your feet dragged you up the stairs into your room, you slammed the door and face planted on your bed when you noticed something in the corner of your eye... It was your guitar, Luke had kept it with him since he gifted it to you just to keep it safe, but there it was, with its own stand and everything, then you noticed a note sticking out of the strings, you quickly rolled out of your bed to stumble over and read it, you gently pulled the note out of the strings being careful not to damage the guitar in any way, the front of the note read To: Y/N you could tell it was Luke who left it there because of the awful, but cute hand writing, it smelled like him and you thought that was a weird thing to think but .... you missed that smell, you took a moment thinking about the last time you breathed in his scent.... flashing back to the night you guys almost..... you shook your head bringing your self back to focus and opening the letter

Dear Y/N,

Hey.... long time no talk eh? how are you? I don't know why im asking that this is a letter not a text message..... anyway! here's your guitar, figured it wouldn't be any good to ya if you didnt have it. It didnt have a strap or anything so I took the liberty of picking one out for you, I figured you would like this one it has checkers all over it, It will match your vans... and my vans too! thats pretty cool .... I almost bought one for my self I think still might, look at us matching guitar straps! Reggie is gonna be so jealous! Anyway, I hope your doing good ... Oh! and good luck on you French test! I know you were nervous about that, I know youre gonna rock it! you always do

-Luke

You closed the letter holding it to your chest and smiling, you lightly lifted the guitar strap with your finger to look at it, you chuckled noticing that you were actually wearing your checkered vans today. You removed your finger letting the strap fall gently back to place, you sighed curling your legs up to your chest. You remembered that the band had a show tonight... *Should I go?* you thought to your self... you initially thought you wouldn't go, but it would be nice to support your friends, and maybe you and Luke should talk *Okay Im gonna go!* you thought to your self confidently, but first you needed a nap.

It was 7:00pm, you arrived at the venue of the gig 30 minutes before their performance, the place was packed! you knew you should have gotten their earlier, but it was hard enough to get out of bed to get here... wasn't exactly easy for you.

You danced along with the bands that were on before Julie and the boys, you noticed Flynn and Carrie across the venue, they noticed you back waving their hands in the air in excitement for you to join them, You grow a big smile and excitedly run over to join them... you hug them in a greeting, and just then you heard the announcer say "Please put your hands together for Julie and The Phantoms" the crowd goes wild, Julie and the boys had become quite popular in your town, You, Carrie, and Flynn made it a point to be the loudest ones out of everyone though. Julie entered the stage, alone like she always did, she made her way over to the keyboard and sat down. She pressed one button on the keyboard in order for the boys to poof on stage, Luke immediately starts singing while simultaneously playing the guitar "Thinking bout you lots lately! Have you been eating breakfast alone like me! Thinking bout you lots lately Oh are you moving along!" You had never heard this song before, it must have been new, Luke played and sang effortlessly, you didnt really notice the lyrics until you noticed Carrie and Flynn looking at you with curious wide eyes, Luke sang with such passion in his voice, he always did but this time seemed different. When the bridge came Luke found you in the crowd his eyes getting big but then locking his eyes with yours as he sang, not breaking his stare, singing "Scared of moving on, but you're already gone So if you're moving on, won't you just tell me? Scared of moving on, but you're already gone So if you're moving on, won't you just tell me?" As soon as the bridge ended he broke your gaze, you shook your head in order to get your self to recover, you look over at Carrie and Flynn who were watching you for your reaction, you look back up at the stage, Luke and Reggie were doing their classic move of sharing the mic during the chorus, then Luke broke off, playing the melody on his guitar with such... what seemed like anger, or frustration. You started questioning if you should have even come tonight *Was this a mistake..... he looks mad* you thought to yourself, now biting your thumb due to your new anxiety toward the situation. When the song ended Luke shook his hair which was now damp with sweat, and then he stared at you, you couldn't tell what his emotions were at this moment.... *oh boy, how am I gonna make it through this night* you thought to your self.

The band had a great set, after the new song they played Finally Free, which was one of your favorites, then they did Bright. You were really proud of your best friend and how successful her and the boys were becoming. The whole event was over and the place was now pretty much empty, it was just you, Carrie, and Flynn waiting for Julie and the Boys to come out from the back. You were super nervous to see Luke, you didnt know what to say, was that song about you? you wondered to your self.... in the middle of your internal crisis you saw Julie coming from the back with Alex, Reggie following behind all smiling and then Luke shortly after them, he wasn't smiling though, he was just anxiously messing with the hair behind his head. Carrie and Flynn ran up to Julie to give her a hug to congratulate her on the show, you broke your gaze from Luke in order to do the same, you quickly ran over to give your best friend a hug "Congrats Jules! that was an amazing show!" you exclaimed and then motioned to the boys "All of you!" you said looking at all of them, and then setting your eyes on Luke just a little longer than everyone else, he just shyly smiled in response "Thanks Y/N!" Reggie Exclaimed "Did you like the first song? Luke wrote it about you!" Reggie continued with a big smile and a slight chuckle at the end, Lukes eyes widened with annoyance, Alex just turned slowly to face Reggie, his eye twitching in the process, Reggie just looked confused at both of them "What? was she not supposed to know" Reggie asked like he really didnt know, You just stood there shyly, not really knowing what to say, Carries eyes widened "Well!! Flynn! Julie! Alex! and Reggie! I think there is something over here you guys should see its really cool?" Carrie said breaking the awkward tension, or trying to at least, motioning everyone in to the other side of the venue in order to give you and Luke some privacy "Why whats over here?" Reggie asked confused, in which Alex pulled his arm with annoyance rolling his eyes "Just come on reg!" Alex said with a frustrated tone pulling him in the direction Carrie was leading everyone. Soon enough they all disappeared behind a curtain on the other side of the venue, You turned to look at Luke who had his hands in his front pockets, he looked up to make eye contact with you, a half smile appeared on his face as you guys shared a look, you couldn't help but smile a little too. Luke lifted one leg up and then hoped forward to get closer to you "Soooo....." He said as if he didnt know what to do next, You put your hands in your back pockets, then motioned your shoulders forward a little "Sooooo" You echoed back to him, he chuckled "Did you like the show?" He said motioning toward the stage, you nodded your head yes "Yeah!! you guys rocked it as usual" You said, you felt awkward because you had so many things you wanted to say but you didnt want to overwhelm him or feel like you were over stepping, He made a slight whistle shaking his head yes then looking down at his foot which was resting on its heel motioning side to side, "Was that song really about me?" You blurted out with out even thinking, or realizing what you were doing, Luke froze and then looked up with wide eyes, his lips still pursed from whistling and then he relaxed his position putting his foot down and removing his hands from his pockets "Okay, we're just gonna jump right into it..... yeah! it was" he said with a slightly frustrated tone, you bit your lip not really understanding "Wh- why?" you asked truly wondering why he wrote it, you guys both agreed to be friends and you guys never dated so what was there to move on from, he looked at you scrunching his eyebrows together "Why?" He said back confused to why you were confused, you don't know why but you were getting angry "Yeah!" You said throwing your hands in the air "Why Luke! Why everything! Why have you been avoiding me! why have you been so absent!!!" You exclaimed, starting to tear up "So what we almost slept together! BIG DEAL! THAT DOESNT MEAN YOU HAVE TO CUT ME OFF! THAT DOESNT ME YOU

HAVE TO

TURN AWAY FROM ME!" You didnt realize it but you were yelling, tears were streaming down your face, you wiped your tears with the sleeve of your jacket "I missed you so much..... so much Luke..... so yeah why?" you said softer with a crack in your voice, Luke bit his lip in frustration "You wanna know why?!" he exclaimed moving one step closer to you "Because you mean more to me than I could ever imagine someone meaning to me, youre the most amazing person I have ever met!" He exclaimed, now him growing tears in his eyes "AND WHEN YOU KEPT SAYING WE'RE JUST FRIENDS IT EFFING BROKE ME INSIDE BECAUSE IM SO IN LOVE WITH YOU THAT IT HURTS! OKAY! THAT THE FACT YOU DONT WANT ANYTHING MORE THAN JUST FRIEND SHIP KILLS ME INSIDE! SO YEAH I AVOIDED SEEING YOU BECAUSE EVERYTIME I SAW YOU THE PAIN WAS UNBEARABLE BECAUSE ALL I WANTED TO DO WAS GRAB YOU AND HOLD YOU IN MY ARMS AND CALL YOU MINE!" He yelled, grabbing his hair in frustration "There ya go! thats why!" he exclaimed finishing his statement, You stood there gathering the ends of your jacket sleeve in your fists, looking at Luke with red puffy eyes, and before you could respond Luke picked up his guitar, wiped his eyes and poofed out.

#Luke Patterson #Luke Patterson x reader #luke patterson x y/n #Luke Patterson fanfic #Luke Patterson fan fiction #Jatp luke #jatp Luke fanfic #jatp Luke x reader #jatp Luke x y/n #Charlie gillespie #Marys fanfic #Charlie Gillespie luke

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transrightsjimin · 4 years

Text

idk why i keep posting rants instead of cleaning my room

forever bitter over the absolute shit interactions ive had w ppl in the past who kept pushing to hear from me what music i like, and when i shared im a fan of bts, ive had such awful shit as response, like someone on discord googling ‘bts problematic‘ on first instinct and then were upset w me bc they read this gossip article abt the (photoshopped) military hat and photo in germany and were like ‘ok i looked it up and youre stanning racists though :///‘,

or when this lady who worked at my fucking university asked me ‘oh yeah wasnt that eh, yeah that was that group in which a bunch of members committed suicide right?‘ and i was like WHAT, NO and she proceeded ‘no no i’m sure, that was the group, right?‘ (NO THAT WAS NO GROUP AT ALL??),

or ppl said alright and went on spotify(?) to play a random song(?) on shuffle(??) out loud on their phone(???) for 10 seconds and said ‘oh alright, i see, now i know what they sound like‘(???? 10 seconds of audio of a random song?? out of 250 songs?? like one person that did this played an old school hiphop sounding song of theirs, and the other a slower pop edm song?), and it was so embarrassing,

or the response ‘huh how r they so popular? i never hear their music on the radio though, they must not be that important then‘ (GOSH i wonder why they arent rly played on the radio in the west ),

or i got more of these lectures from ppl w 0 idea wtf theyre talking abt, asking me shit like ‘don’t you know how capitalistic that industry is?’, ‘yeah yeah, i read and saw things about it all, these groups have to go to the same school that is owned by one entertainment company‘ (???)

and just, w a bunch of these ive had that ppl proceeded to try to lecture me abt stuff they dont know and insist that im wrong and dont know shit bc i didnt watch some (poorly researched) documentary. like theres huge issues w the industry and theres legit criticism on bts’s past behaviours or songs that need to be discussed, but it is tiresome to have had these convos w ppl like this and just so umprompted, and they srsly enjoyed throwing this hugely offensive shit at me and idek what to say back just out pure shock and im not even the right person to analyze it all bc im not fluent in reading korean. the one abt suicide pissed me off / shocked me the most, like how that lady just SAID THAT with a smile on her face like that's normal chitchat wtf

#rambles #tw suicide //#(mentioned)#in a terrible comment i had to hear

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silver-wield · 4 years

Note

Hey so I was wondering if you did/could do an analysis on clouds various panic attacks ptsd episodes and how he responds to each one I’m interested to read your thoughts on each one since you usually bring a new perspective to the table for me so thanks for that!

All of Cloud's ptsd attacks? Damn, that's a lot of searching I've got to do. I might not find them all. I'll do my best but you'll have to let me off if I miss a couple lol

Ok, spoiler warning for ppl who haven’t played – do I still need to do this? Eh ok, (I tag FF7R spoilers as final fantasy 7 remake spoilers) and it’s gonna be long.

Also, this is one person’s interpretation of the scene, so if you disagree that’s cool and we’ll agree to disagree.

You’re also gonna have to excuse the janky quality on some of the screens, I’m grabbing them from Youtube and it’s frustrating af trying to get the exact moment I want.

Please check my master post to see if I've already covered your question, thanx

Recap time!

I explain Cloud's entire backstory which covers his PTSD and other issues here, so that should do for a recap right?

A further thing to note is that PTSD affects people differently and in Cloud's case it manifests as a psychological taunt in the form of Sephiroth. Embodiying his sense of failure, lack of self-esteem and self-actualisation, this version of Sephiroth is the one that Cloud reacts to the most strongly. This is the one that makes him whimper with fear and react on instinct instead of observing the situation and attacking. This is the one he fears, and it's a part of himself wearing a monster's face. Why Sephiroth? Who else has done him more harm? Sephiroth killed his mother, Tifa (so he assumes), burned his hometown to the ground and was indirectly responsible for his best friend's death, too.

And Cloud couldn't do a thing about it. He is the manifestation of everything that Cloud hates and fears about himself. Because of this, he's dissociated from much of his feelings. He still feels, but at a lesser degree than he should were he fully in touch with his real self.

Moseying on.

The first PTSD induced attack isn't actually prompted by Sephiroth himself, although he does feature in it. Cloud's first attack happens when he sees the destruction of sector 8 and buildings burning. This gives him the association of the last time he saw a burning building, which happened when his village burned. The sensory input of sights, sounds and smells prompted the memory, which combined with the high stress situation and Cloud's own latent anxiety and guilt for his part in this chaos.

You see a close up of Cloud's eye as it widens and real!Cloud's memory pushes to the forefront of his mind – remember, these memories are things SOLDIER!Cloud can't access at will, which is why they cause him pain when it happens.

Theres a static noise in the background, which is meant to convey a type of ringing in Cloud's ears and then the building's facade morphs to that of his house with the fence around it.

While much of what Sephiroth says is in line with this being a separate being from Cloud and not merely his own subconscious taunting him, there are elements of it being a combination of both. This is in line with the OG where Sephiroth was able to get in Cloud's head and make him doubt his own sense of self. With what we know of how Jenova's cells manipulate Cloud, it's believable that Sephiroth is both a separate being manipulating Cloud to his own ends and partly an aspect of Cloud's psyche that exists to push blame on him for everything. It's the representation of his mental illness that he struggles to fight.

Obviously, there's no fire, so Cloud sweating and breathless is because they're physical symptoms of his PTSD induced trauma.

Sephiroth's taunting lines about how he killed Cloud's mother are overkill when you consider the real Sephiroth's personality. The combination of the overarching Sephiroth and Cloud's PTSD version make a powerful foe that he never really beats. This is a metaphor for the fact those with mental illness are never really free. It's a lifetime battle and even if they're in recovery, that demon is just waiting for one weak moment when they can get them back in their grip.

You can hear Cloud gasp in this scene as once again Sephiroth appears to taunt him. He's not fully recovered from the last attack and now there's another right on top of it. Sephiroth appearing is once again partly Cloud's own trauma and partly the Jenova cells in him warping his perception and allowing Sephiroth to mess with him.

Unlike the time before, this Sephiroth vision is a simple taunt that Cloud is too weak to save anyone. This is his guilt and self-loathing talking about how he couldn't save his mom, Tifa or his town. It could also be hinting that he couldn't save Zack either.

The hidden implication of this scene is the fact that Sephiroth puts his hand on Aerith's shoulder. This is the only time Sephiroth touches anyone besides Cloud.

The next time Cloud has an attack is during the reactor 5 mission. This happens because of Tifa's presence drawing out the painful memory of the Nibelheim reactor where he believed she died after facing down Sephiroth.

Even in the midst of his PTSD attack he looks to Tifa. She doesn't know what's happening with him and he backs away from taking a chance to confide in her, but even during this moment when he's showing weakness he has very good eye contact with her. He's looking her directly in the eye, which he wouldn't do if he wasn't comfortable with her. This shows that Cloud sees her as a source of comfort and support.

You can see the lingering doubt on his face here after he dismisses the attack. He's not aware of what the memory means because he's not in touch with the full story – that belongs to real!Cloud kept hidden away. He knows it's left him unsettled and feeling like a failure. This is one of the few times I've seen that Cloud doesn't dismiss out of hand the content of the attacks.

Tifa repeats a phrase she said back then and Cloud's sense of failure surfaces, causing him pain and to freeze up. We get a voice over from real!Cloud referring to the time he believes he let Tifa down. Before the SOLDIER persona can get too deep into it or question what he means, Barret yells for him to focus. Cloud shakes off the paralysing feelings, but that doesn't stop Tifa asking it he's ok, which he dismisses again. This is typical of truama survivors pushing their feelings down and attempting to function without ever truly dealing with the source of their pain.

This next flash is prompted by the events during chapter 8 where the children get into trouble and Cloud has to rescue them. It echoes a similar even in his past where Tifa climbed Mt Nibel and fell, despite his best efforts to save her. She spent a week in a coma and Cloud was blamed for the incident and told to stay away from her.

The past emotions of guilt and failure mingle with the present situation to prompt a flash of pain as the memory of Tifa surfaces. It's his feelings of guilt and having failed her that cause the pain, not Tifa herself because when he says to Aerith he doesn't know how to explain he turns to the spot where he saw the vision of Tifa and smiles wistfully. This means Tifa herself doesn't cause him pain. The feelings he has about himself, do.

Chapter 13 and omg I love this freak out! I'm sorry, but this is such a great moment for Cloud and really highlights how low he is at this point. This shows the depth that we miss from him always having his SOLDIER persona taking charge. He's just lived through a tragedy. He's seen the girl he likes in pieces and trying to hold it together. He wants to comfort her. He wants to be himself, but he can't because he's just not good enough. He's feeling like a failure in more ways than one. He lost people too, goddamnit!

Then, in a misguided attempt to distract Tifa from her pain, he stumbles right into a trigger point for his own trauma. Of course he wouldn't know this. It's one of those flashes of Sephiroth ranting about his role and Jenova and shit. (I might have mistakenly said this was a future-flash somewhere, but then I remembered he does this rant right before he kills everyone in Nibelheim).

There's very little blocking to the memory. This is pretty well sealed by real!Cloud compared to his other memories. Even painful ones of Tifa have more context than this. This is something that is so damaging to Cloud's psyche that he can't even fill in the space around it.

So, we get the same kind of staticky noise we heard in chapter 2 when the vision of Sephiroth showed. Cloud gasps pretty loud here tbf. He's unguarded because of the vision and possibly his own distraction about what he's just been through. He wasn't prepared to see Sephiroth here even more than he was back in chapter 2 when he had a full on panic attack.

I mean, his pupils are seriously dilated here. Boi is scared.

Cloud's whimpering and my heart breaks for him. Sephiroth is hitting all his weakest points by bringing up failure and mentioning it's not the first time that's happened. Cloud's at a low point already, so it's not unexpected he backs away from this rather than tries to fight. This isn't SOLDIER!Cloud. This is real!Cloud. The fear has driven real!Cloud to the surface and he wants to run away, just like Sephiroth taunted back in chapter 2.

“Through suffering you will grow strong. Isn't that what you want?”

Clearly not by the look on Cloud's face. The part of him that's real!Cloud within this moment looks like he wants to scream that he's had enough of being in pain. He wants to shake his head and deny that he deserves it. What did he ever do wrong?

I feel like this is more of Cloud's own subconscious taunting him and implying that he deserves everything bad that happens to him, rather than it being the external Sephiroth manipulating Jenova's cells. He's saying Cloud secretly wants to suffer because that's all he should ever get in life. He thinks if he suffers enough pain that he'll be stronger for it, instead of the broken person that he really is. This is the type of thing people who’ve lived through trauma deal with every single day. It’s a never ending barrage of not feeling good enough and worrying that your entire existence is a bother to society. Not even just those close to you, you are a blight on the world. That Cloud’s internal trauma is so deeply rooted in this figure of Sephiroth narrows his focus and makes him project all of his fears onto him. It’s no wonder he freezes.

Now, not strictly a PTSD glitch, but it does provoke a very strong reaction from Cloud, and definitely plays into his fears, so I'm gonna include this one on the proviso it's more fear motivated.

This is the moment he sees Tifa stabbed during the VR cut scene. Sephiroth hijacked it to show them meteor, but then he also killed Tifa and then Barret. We know later on that Barret actually dies, so having seen this, Cloud may well relate back to this deep seated fear that he can't save Tifa and she'll die because of him and it'll cause further attacks. This is also a callback to the time in the reactor in Nibelheim when Tifa was stabbed by Sephiroth and Cloud couldn't save her – this ties to the PTSD flashback he had during the reactor 5 mission where he saw Tifa picking up Sephiroth's sword, so it's got precedence to cause him further trauma once he connects the dots. The fact it provokes such a strong emotional response from him – so much so that his entire face changes – I suspect that real!Cloud came out to motivate him to run to her out of the fear he'd just seen her die in front of him – again. The shock and disbelief on his face, the utter heartbreak. His expression changes from SOLDIER!Cloud to real!Cloud in less than 3 seconds. I checked. As a trigger for his trauma, Cloud's fear of losing Tifa pushes him to a lot of things he wouldn't normally do.

This is more of a memory glitch than PTSD since it's tied to the grunt recognising Cloud and calling him out on the false memories he has of being a SOLDIER. He says they went through training together and Cloud's eyes narrow as though he's trying to reconcile a truth against a lie. The truth that real!Cloud was a grunt and SOLDIER!Cloud is a fake.

There's some distress on his face here that links back to the point during the airbuster battle when he first learned about cell degradation. He knows what he believes is true isn't quite right, but he can't figure out why. SOLDIER!Cloud is unaware of the SOLDIER persona he constructed to protect his real self from further trauma. In OG when Cloud finds out – through Sephiroth’s skewed af bullshit – it causes a complete mental break, so real!Cloud's right to be wary of triggering himself because he's not in a good enough place to deal with what he's done to protect himself. He'd blame himself for being even more weak than he thought.

This is more interesting. Usually whenever anyone questions Cloud about his false identity he claims it, while also rejecting it by saying “ex-SOLDIER”, but in Hojo's case, he seems to hesitate, as though part of him knew it would be questioned and wouldn't hold up. Since Hojo's the one who did this to Cloud, it's likely the truth of what happened couldn't be kept back by the SOLDIER lies.

Pained again, Cloud turns his head away, as though he can shut out the truth. Hojo's image glitches for him and it's reminiscent of the OG moment where Cloud confronts Hojo and asks if he can be a proper experiment instead of a failed one (or something like that. I haven't played OG in like 5 years)

The trauma from what Hojo's done is quickly brushed under the carpet thanks to the arrival of the whispers. This is the second time they appear to prevent Cloud learning too much about his past too early. (Dammit, I forgot about deep ground, I'll circle back to it or I'll lose the order for my screenshots)

I'm not including the long corridor walk prompted by Jenova because that's a loading screen and also it happens not because of anything that Cloud experienced in the location, but because the outside influence of Jenova called to him. His only association with Jenova is the infusion of cells, though how he got them does set off attacks. Actually, here's a good point for the deep ground screen.

Preview of zombie Cloud for Mideel anyone? I mean, what can I say? He's totally checked out and it's scary. No wonder he doesn't wanna remember any of it if this is what he was like at the time. Imagine being so doped up with mako that you're not even you any longer? Having experiments carried out on you and god knows what else. Being stuffed in a chamber jammed full of alien dna and left to see what happens.

This is what broke him. I'd say it's similar to the faceless Squall cut scene from the end of FF8. It's chilling. No wonder he crafted an entire persona to protect himself from remembering this.

So this is the culmination of all the other attacks he's had. We get flashback elements from several that threaten to overwhelm Cloud. He's clutching his head. He's in serious pain and can't do anything. He manages to push through and ask if it's really Sephiroth. He then grabs his left arm when it begins to hurt. This is because Sephiroth is left handed. This is also the same arm that had the major infection of geostigma in AC.

Conclusion

Cloud is a messed by puppy and I ship him with therapy.

PTSD is a tricky thing to accurately show, especially in this case when it's not all totally mental illness and there are outside factors that skew how it's portrayed. Part of Sephiroth is within Cloud, though I do suspect it's more of an aspect of his own feelings of self-loating and doubt than it is actually Sephiroth. That's not to say there isn't also a genuine part of Sephiroth within these visions influencing Cloud to do what he wants, but I think it comes down to the context of the moment.

Cloud's been through a lot of shit and fronts like nothing else. He's managed to get away without any kind of vices or coping mechanisms besides this alternate persona that actually does ok in following the real!Cloud's lead when his deeper urges motivate SOLDIER!Cloud into doing things. I mean there's a point where there's a clear debate between the two about dancing for Andrea. All that back and forth eye movement and then the grimace and “fine, for Tifa” expression wasn't necessary if it was just SOLDIER!Cloud.

It's gonna be hard for Cloud to hear that he's not real in the sense that he thinks he is. It's gonna break him. We've got a preview of his scary vacant Mideel look and it's terrifying. Major props to Tifa for refusing to give up on him.

#final fantasy 7 remake spoilers #final fantasy 7 remake analysis #Character analysis #Cloud Strife #Tw: ptsd

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minkkumaz · 11 months

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GOODMORNING (afternoon) OMI!!

ur heart getting shattered 😰??! whenever life goes downhill theres always white haired yungyu! studying for chem while watching bonedo performances atm..

i just need to RANT abt how good woonhak is at performing. he was literally born for it. even when the camera isnt focused on him he gives the best facial expressions; so his fancams r always fun to watch.. HE HAS SUCH AMAZING STAGE PRESENCE TOO.. genius maknae indeed..i love love love him so much hes such a great performer i only wish him the best.. ALONGSIDE THE OTHER MEMBERS TOO OFC BUT THATS JUST A GIVEN!!!

i watched inkigayo last night,, i had no idea what they were saying but woonhak started singing and i almost BAWLED. his voice is so nice 🙁🙁

as im typing this out im rewatching their mnet but sometimes performance and im getting more sidetracked but thats OKAY!

woonmelon needs to be confirmed and released to the public atp..

ANYWAYS!!!

hows your day going so far,, (besides the heartbreaking part..)

-🍉

GOODMORNINGAFTERNOON MELON!

unfortunately my heart was a little cracked a bit earlier but i got a pep talk from my friend and now i'm chilling like a villian >:3 just have to imagine white hair yungyu, he's literally so perfect and amazing omg

yungyu rant real quick : honestly when he first dyed his hair blue and cut it super short i was a little iffy about it because it was definitely new! but honestly it ended up growing on me a lot and i absolutely loved it. i mean in general, i think yungyu looks great in everything ehe. THEN WHEN IT STARTED GROWING OUT A LITTLE BIT I ALMOST EXPLODED like it was at that perfect length where it wasn't too short and it wasn't too long. i was thinking about hair colors i'd like to see him in and i was REALLLY fucking with the idea of blonde or red haired yungyu. and low and behold.. i wake up to see little clips of them busking in seoul and his hair was coming out of his hat a little. IT WAS WHITE. my soul genuinely left my body AND ALL THE PHOTOS HE SENT IN PLUS CHAT I CANNOTTT he's genuinely such a handsome boy and i love him so much, but it also makes me a little sad that he's growing </3 i remember how much of a cutie he was during 8turnrise era ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY HAD THEIR DEBUT SHOWCASE AND THEY WORE THE LITTLE CAT EARS he was just so small and precious, and now he has me fanning myself with an imaginary fan because he has seriously progressed so much. vocal wise and looks wise. when i saw him at kcon he was seriously unreal and i almost started crying AHHH in my brain he's still my little bom boy :,3 when he talks about debut / trainee days i get so emotional. because that era of 8turn is also when i started getting into kpop so it's for reals such a core memory. i remember when i only stanned stray kids and 8turn, i had photos of them all over my room HAHA not that i don't anymore, yungyu has a mini shrine on my desk with one of my fav pc's framed and the crochet thing i made of him ehe. anyways enough of my yungyu rant...

I WHOLE HEARTEDLY AGREE THAT WOONHAK IS JUST THE GREATEST PERFORMER EVER! such an adorable maknae, he is always bringing the energy and i love him so much for that ehe :,] all the bonedo boys in general just have such amazing stage presence, they were meant to be idols!

woonmelon is my number one ship you guys belong together for reals!

so far, my day is going okay? i'm trying to cram some writing in because i have a huge idea and i want to release it ON halloween, but i'm always so busy so i want to finish it up. it involves 8turn! (and a game i've been hyperfixating about for the past month......) NO MORE HINTS! but yes ehe it'll take me awhile since there's a lot of details that go into it... i'm not going to spoil anything bc i don't wanna get up your hopes and i end up not finishing AJAJSJHD BUT IF I DO FINISH IT WILL MAKE SENSE WHY IT'S SUCH A COMPLICATED THING TO WRITE ABOUT

cough i kinda threw every other thing i had planned under the bus because i really wanna do this..

WHAT ABOUT YOUR DAY MELON ANONNN?!

#∞ ₒ ˚ omi's chats #༊*·˚ anonymous peoples #🍉 anon ·˚ ༘ ✎

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iceamericanoventi · 6 years

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Love Will Find a Way, Well, Eventually : 2. In Between

“Where are you going?”

If it was inside Cartoon Network’s universe, everyone must be able to see the smoke fuming from both his nostrils and ears. Jinki looks beyond distressed when he’s lifting his ass from the chair. No one on the table was his partner, but Minho decided to throw some ridiculous question then played dumb as if he didn’t just ask one.

“Should I have number one here?”

He started getting irked, but that doesn’t stay long until Kibum casually munched his breadstick while spluttering his witty comments as usual, “Surely Taemin would be delightful.”

Taemin who didn’t do anything almost chocked himself with a piece of tomato and kicked Kibum’s shin under the table, eventually.

“Promise me you won’t run away?”

Dumbfounded, Jinki emptied his pocket and almost smashed the table with his belonging.

“Are you my husband? Here’s my wallet. And my phone!” and with that, he left the other three men finishing their meal.

“Is he always in this temper?”

Lee Taemin gave him another look, pleading him not to embarrass them further, but Kibum just shrugged and muttered ‘I’m just asking’ under his nose.

“He was mad with me since this afternoon. Plus, he has lots of stuffs to think about these days. But don’t worry, he never really got mad unless you disturb his nap.”

“What is he? A bear?”

“Yaa! Kim Kibum!”

Minho couldn’t help but laugh to the scene happened before his eyes. Taemin is famous for being friendly and very expressive only if you know him, even if he’s talkative. To penetrate his bubble is very hard at first, but this man sitting across him, he seems like he’s already inside that bubble since the very beginning. He really is someone closed to him. Kibum looks mesmerizing, even in his grumbling nature. The oversize sweater wrapped his lithe build perfectly.

A phone call arrived to Kibum's phone, he picked it up frantically and excused himself to take it outside.

"What do you think?"

“Eh?” Minho doesn’t even realized he got his eyes entailed Kibum’s silhouette until it disappear by the entrance door.

“You seemed in trance. I know Kibum is beautiful but I didn’t expect you’ll be this amazed with my friend,” Taemin’s sipping his wine, a smirk is very apparent in his devious face.

“I guess it’s safe to say that you’re not a liar.”

Minho reopened his mouth few minutes after he’s assured that Kibum’s not going back any soon. Taemin is not ecstatic, sometimes he wondered if Minho has a decent sense of humor of a friend.

“For your information, I’m not and never been. I’m the most honest person you’ve ever encountered in your life.”

“Everyone in this room knows that’s not true.”

“Whatever. I might know my ways deceiving people, but I never lie to my friend.”

“Did you just admit that you’re lying here and there, Lee Taemin?”

Taemin rolls his eyes, again, probably for the nth times already this evening. Without Jinki around, he can be more relaxed on throwing his tantrum on Minho.

“Choi Minho, people lies at some certain points of their life. Get over it.”

He gulped down the rest of his wine, Taemin then called a waiter near them to bring him another one.

“Kibum seems nice. He sounds smart.”

“Sounds? Did you even listen to yourself? No writer is not smart, Choi. Moreover, someone who’s been writing the past decade!”

“I only know him for one night. Who knows he’s just acting?”

“Dude, not everyone is an asshole like you.”

“An asshole wouldn’t agree to bring his best friend along in front of a psychopath like you.”

Taemin snorted and Minho’s smirk reappeared on his face.

“That is literally what a psycho would do, selling their friend for their own benefits.”

Minho wiped his mouth before washed down the dinner with cold water, “And that’s exactly what Jinki accused me for. You two shared a brain or what?”

“Any sane people would say the same, Honey,” this time Taemin’s smirk that made the other scoffed, “By the way, what’s the deal with Jinki? He looks like he’s been sitting on thorny cushion the whole dinner!”

Minho knows Taemin would ask such question eventually. However, he couldn’t say that Jinki hates the whole dinner date plan, it’s impossible. Besides that, knowing him for years, Jinki really is an angel in disguise, well, at least when he’s in the mood.

“People have different, what should I say, defense mechanism? And that’s how he is. What kind of person who talked nonstop during their first meeting, anyway?”

“Oh, I don’t know, me?”

“That’s why you’re a freak.”

“A freak who introduced you to your potentially next boyfriend.”

“Ha. Point taken,” Minho raised his hand to ask for the dessert, “Jinki is just not the type of person who will talk a lot and open up in a second. But I guarantee you, he’s a good person. Sometimes a little bit care too much for other at certain time so probably being brazen is his forte.”

“That reminds me of someone.”

Taemin and Kibum spent their high school days together. Separated for some years due to works and educations, their relationship’s all well maintained. They understand each other, including Kibum’s nature to always put others before him at any given situation.

“Appearance wise, though, what do you think about Jinki?”

“Choi Minho, I’m not a teenager anymore. Judging people around by its cover is no longer my habit.”

“But a designer like you must love a beautiful package, don’t they?”

“Well, to be honest, his lips and eyes itself could get me floored in one glance.”

“I knew it.”

“You’re a famous photographer for a reason.”

***

Cold wind slapped Kibum’s cheeks lightly when he pushed the door and parched to the corner near the valet post.

“Okay, now you can speak. Sorry, I don’t know why the reception wasn’t good enough inside.”

“Then I’ll be frankly here. There’s a possibility for making the special edition for the short story collection. But then, we’re still short of two stories at the moment.”

“Wait, wait, but we already have nine! I finished writing nine! Why should I add another two?”

“The publisher agreed to the preposition for at least twelve stories. You should be grateful I could pitch one less story!”

Kibum looks like he’s about to punch anyone passed within radius one meter around him, but nothing in reach besides a huge pot of short palm tree and concrete wall. And he needs his hand to finish his books still.

“But, Amber. Page wise, those are more than enough to make two new books. Are they out of their mind?”

There’s a loud groan banging on his ear drum came from the other line, “Dude, I almost flipped the table when I was at the meeting you have no idea. The board has new man and that guy is a pain in the ass.”

“Would it change the circumstance if I talked to them by myself?”

“Since when do they have time to talk to the writer directly? We’re head to head with bunch of snobs here, did you forget?”

“I should had not agree to let them touched my writings. Now we’re about to face dead end.”

It was a dream to work along this publisher. It was Kibum’s dream since he started writing when he took gap year after graduated high school. And as if it’s a fate, it was the only publisher agreed with his graphic novel concept five years he climbed his career professionally.

“Listen, Kibum. When I met you years ago, I promised I’ll work my ass hard to help you publishing your books. Not because I knew you, it’s because you’re good. You’re amazing writer and I’m not giving up easily. And neither you. Not when anybody can tell that you’re a gem.”

“I haven’t written any book since last year, Amber. I’m in a slump. Writer’s block is not even describing my bad luck at the moment.”

“Honey, you haven’t written any because you’re currently waiting two books released. And if I could do my magic, another one in, let’s say, six months.”

“If I could make up some words into another story within two weeks. If you could convince them to give me mercy.”

“Did you just know me yesterday?”

Kibum’s tired giving sane response, “What do you mean?”

“I’m waiting their secretary to call me in ten minutes. We’re going to discuss some new deals and I’ll make sure one of them is going to be your new nine stories book.”

“I actually have no idea if I don’t have you as my editor slash manager slash friend slash personal ranting partner slash whatever you want to be.”

“Rockstar. That would be cool.”

“You’re going to be a kick ass one to be honest.”

“I bet. Anyway, expect another call from me in the next couple hours. I’m sorry, but tonight we might need video call to resolve some issues.”

“I hate you for confiscating my time but you’re the best.”

“As always, ain’t I?”

The phone call ends already, but he still forlornly looking at his phone’s screen. With that, Kibum remembers all the works he needs to catch up for tonight. With that, he can put aside all the unnecessary anxiety and tension of tonight’s stupid match making session.

He took a glance of his watch and could only sighed, he better hurried inside to his dessert. The faster he finished, the sooner he can hit home and face the real deal. His deadlines.

Two steps away from the entrance however, he caught a familiar face sitting by themselves, staring to the busy street in front of the restaurant.

“Jinki?” he carefully calling the man, “Lee Jinki, right?”

The later tilted his head to the right and gave Kibum a simple smile, didn’t realize it dropped Kibum’s heart by the bottom of his gut.

“Aren’t you cold?”

Everyone would agree this winter is even harsher than last year’s. Jinki just lifted his left hand to make sure Kibum saw a cigarette slipped between his fingers, “Can I sit here?”

Jinki chuckles, “Aren’t you cold?”

Listening to the same question he threw a minute ago, he just rolled his eyes and took a place next to the other man.

“I’m waiting a phone call.”

“Important?”

“Kinda.”

Jinki blew some smoke out, “Hmm, I guess so. You sounded pretty upset over there.”

“Did I scream that loud?!”

“In my opinion? No. but a girl flinched and buzzed off rather hastily, so, you tell me.”

When he saw Kibum’s gaping like a fish in frantic expression, Jinki has no choices beside laughed again, surprising Kibum who’s quite convinced with his aloof personalities.

“I didn’t know you have so many jokes in store.”

“You learn something new every day.”

“Your face doesn’t show.”

“What about my face?”

“It’s handsome but with that attitude inside, seems like you’re the type who woke up at the wrong side of the bed every single morning and could kill someone annoys you at any time.”

“Well, to be fair, I did wake up in the wrong side of my bed this morning. But it’s because a certain dog occupied half of my blanket so I couldn’t disturb her.”

“You have a dog?!”

Kibum’s face lit up thousand times as if he just won some lottery. Strangely, it warms Jinki’s heart. No, scratch that, it would warm any heart, Jinki tried to generalize the situation.

“I don’t, unfortunately. She belongs to my friend. I’m taking care of her while he’s travelling abroad. Her father will pick her up this weekend.”

“Ah, too bad. We could have play date with my boys.”

“I’ll make sure to give you a call when I decided to adopt one later.”

“Do you think my invitation hasn’t expired yet by that time?”

“A man can only dream, can’t he?”

Kibum’s laughter is muffled by his own palm covering his mouth.

“Let’s go inside, you must be shivering.”

“But your cigarette?”

Kibum’s half stuttered caught red handed, Jinki already pressed the half-done cigarette on the sand bowl on his left, “I can always have another one at home. Besides, I doubt you would go inside without me dragging you along.”

Kibum thanked the universe that the place is not well lit, so he could hide the blush creeping his cheeks. Unfortunately, Jinki has a very good eye sight.

***

“Is my baby being a good girl when daddy’s away?”

Jinki scoffed when the man just entered his living room just literally threw his suitcase aside and scooped the little dachshund running toward his embrace. He gathered the suitcase and poor leather bag on the floor and placed it neatly near the saffron color couch.

The man later dropped himself next to Jinki who’s lounged himself there, checking his phone halfheartedly.

“Minho texted me the other day.”

“Why did he keep texting you?”

The man with dark grey hair didn’t catch the frown hanging on Jinki’s face and buried his face to the dog’s belly, making him groaned again. He lightly pushed the dog further and toppled his head on the other man’s laps.

The dog owner realized something’s happened when he’s not around. He put the dog on the ground and tapped her butt to send her back to her small bed near the pantry.

“Minho has my number and I have his name in my contact list. He can text me whenever he wants. Still jealous?”

Jinki closed his eyes when he started playing with his hair, “He’s still one of the reasons we broke up.”

“Baby, the only reason we broke up is because neither of us didn’t want to succumb into marriage. Minho was just a handsome face happened on the wrong time.”

“I have no idea why I still befriend him when it’s clear he wanted to shove his face to yours, all the damn time.”

“And I have no idea that you’re this type who holds the grudge for a long time. We were already out of relationship back then.”

“Still, a friend wouldn’t openly chase after their friend’s ex.”

“A friend wouldn’t, but a best friend would.”

“Whatever.”

He almost lost his control and slapped Jinki’s head of him, “Oh, come on. What’s bothering you this time?”

“Nothing.”

“Bullshit. It’s written all over your face the second I saw you behind the door. And I’m pretty sure it’s not because my daughter misbehaved while I’m on my annual pediatric conference.”

Jinki sighed, nothing he could really hide it from the other man. Since they were in their almost five years relationship, since they became best friends around three years prior.

“Minho invited me for a dinner night.”

“Wow, fancy,” actually Minho already texted him about the dinner a bit, how he wanted to introduce Jinki to some acquaintance he has, “He gave up on me so he went for the only option?”

“For the record, your mom agreed that I’m way much sexier than you.”

“Three years ago, before your cheek bones buried under those mount of fluffy fat.”

“Said a man who came to me and straight ahead told me I looked cute after leaving a piece of paper with their number on my table.”

“I will put aside the fact that I love how romantic you’re for still remembering our first meeting but let’s back to the right path here because I don’t like the upset you. It’s fucking annoying.”

“He introduced me to someone, Jonghyun.”

He let out inaudible gasp and thanked the universe Jinki’s still closing his eyes. Otherwise, he would stop at once and avoided any discussion of the main reason which distressed his ex-boyfriend. Knowing the scenario before hands didn’t prevent him with the sheer pain graze him when it came from Jinki’s mouth himself.

“So? Isn’t that great? Do you think it’s about time?”

“I was about to argue that two years are still not enough to get over you but I guess you’re not in the same page with me so I’d say that I’m not interested into some relationship whatsoever at this point.”

Jonghyun wanted to cry listening to such words. His heart clenched, he inhaled – a very long one – before he continued caressing Jinki’s forehead.

“I am flattered, but I know you’re just teasing me.”

“Ha, you know me so well.”

“I’m not gonna fall on the same hole, Lee.”

“You won’t. You’re too smart to repeat the torture on the loop.”

“It wasn’t a torture, Jinki. I love you as much as you do. Or maybe just slightly more.”

“Not a chance. I love you more.”

“Stop it or I will kiss you.”

“I dare you.”

“I told you I’m not gonna fall on the same hole.”

“Smart, very smart,” Jinki opened his eyes only to find Jonghyun sticking his tongue out, “Okay, so at first, I don’t like the idea already. You know I hate any type of match making method. Even the online one. But being there, I realized that my current focus doesn’t involved other party besides me, my business, and—“

“And your grandfather?”

Jinki looks annoyed, “Remind me to add ‘always-cutting-people-sentence’ on the list of reasons why I broke up with you when I’m writing my journal tonight.”

“It’s true. I think he was also the cock blocker during our relationship back then.”

“Dude, we’re talking about my gramps. And to put him on the same category with Minho is beyond weird.”

“We already broke up when Minho made his move, for Pete’s sake!”

“Okay, okay! No need to raise your voice, you’re so scary when you’re angry.”

“Then don’t make me! Now, now, can you please be a normal human being so we can talk like adults for once?”

Jinki pulled himself from the couch to the pantry, snatching a pack of cigarette on the tea table before slipped one on the corner of his mouth.

“Can you not smoking inside?”

He snorted and padded to the direction of his balcony. It’s in the middle of winter but he doesn’t care a bit to the wind ready to slaughter his bones. If tomorrow the cold prevented him to leave the bed, then let it be. For once, he just wants to free his mind from the business.

“You need to remember that I can only treat patient on certain age,” Jonghyun followed few minutes after with a blanket he spread as wide as possible to cover both of them without feeling suffocated for standing too close.

“The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends people be under pediatric care up to the age of 21, though.”

“Did you just quote Wikipedia? And we’re not in fucking States! Above and beyond, shame on your wrinkles!”

“Rude.”

“You’re the rude one to your lungs!”

“Then tell me how to ease my mind without nicotine! Tell me how to forget all those troubled night and just sleep! Do you think it’s easy taking care of worrisome business and messy family without distraction?! Stop talking non sense if you do know how to save my days!”

Any word seems taboo once Jinki exploded. Both man just staring into the dark evening below Jinki’s unit. People paraded as quickly as possible on the street to fight the harsh weather. It’s not that late, but only few cars passed by. The dim light of the street lamp’s soothing the tense atmosphere in a way.

Jonghyun leaned closer to Jinki’s arm and rested his head on his shoulder.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t help you with that.”

“I’m sorry I yelled at you.”

“You know that you can always talk to me right?”

“I’m tired bothering you. You already have a lot in your hands.”

“Besides my patients and Roo, there’s nothing really confiscated my time.”

Having someone like Jonghyun who would stand next to him, scold him then hug him right after, no matter how awful he behaved and treated the other man, Jinki every so often thinking what kind of good deeds he did in his previous life.

Jinki cocked his head, inhaling the trace of scent of Jonghyun’s favorite shampoo. Initially, he was about to kiss the top of his head, like he used to do when the other man leaned on him for whatever reason it was. He remember, though, the earlier period after their broke up – after settling their feelings for few months of course – the shorter man told him not to do that anymore because it was the doctor’s Achilles heel. So instead, he rubs his cheek over the thick hair, silently telling Jonghyun he’s sorry.

Some nights – especially right after that dinner date – he had thought, maybe one of the reason he reprimands Minho’s idea is just because he still has tiny hope that Jonghyun and him might had another chance in the future.

“From time to time, I was thinking that the more day passed, we’re closer to the image of friends with benefit.”

“Friends with benefit? Tsk,” Jonghyun slapped his forearm, “The only benefit I got from you is you’re the only perfect nanny for Roo when I’m away.”

“Those cups of coffee every single time you stopped by my shop?”

“Pfft. How stingy. I’m leaving.”

“Heartless.”

Jonghyun didn’t say anything more and returned inside to gather his things and called Roo. He desperately needs some hot shower. Somewhere inside him, he was expecting Jinki offering him to stay the night knowing how caring the man and the fact Jinki knows he bolted to the other’s apartment right away after landed.

When Jinki handed him the leash, that hope vanished in second.

“What if later I really considered this person? Or any other person collided with me on the future?”

Jonghyun smiled, he looks tired, but very sincere, “Then good.”

“Because I’m not gonna bother you anymore?”

“No. Because you’ll have someone to share the happiness with.”

***

cross-posted in my AFF

#shinee fiction #shinee scenario #LWFAWWE

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gammija · 6 years

Text

The Hollow review/summary/rant/explanation of why i hate the ending I wasn’t sure whether I should post this, but I did enjoy reading others experiences watching this show, so here’s mine under the cut. Edited from a convo with a friend.

(Obviously, spoilers!)

Me: Okay so to properly express my disappointment i gotta take you through the major beats

The show starts with three teens waking up in an almost empty room, finding out they all have amnesia. They quickly solve a puzzle to escape the room, and just as quickly Adam and Mira realize they have superpowers (superstrength/agility and some weird 'speak to animals/know all languages' hybrid, respectively. also she can breathe underwater and swim really fast. its kind of vague)

Kai is already clearly a comic relief, discount Ron (from HP, the movies, no idea about the books) so me and sister correctly predict he'll get jealous of adam and miras relationship (even if there is none), gets pissy and jealous that he has no powers, but then finds out he has powers anyway he does, hes a fire bender. cant say im not bitter about that cause id put my money on invulnerability but eh its alright he has red hair after all hes still fun

Friend: Of course he is

I just feel bad is all aldjs

Me: adam gets a throwaway line of 'maybe were dead' and kai never lets it go

this food might be poisoned but im starving and hey were dead anyway! right, adam

Friend: I love him??

Me: i loved him as soon as he spoke his first dumb words also he puns but basically hes the only interesting char; adam and mira are just cookie cutter 'male lead 1' and 'female lead 1' i mean, he’s cookie cutter ‘jealous 3rd wheel’ but that has more going on than the first two still servicable though

anyway so the jokes are sometimes fun, and superpowers are always my jam. but the REAL reason to keep watching is just, whats going on? ARE they dead? or in some kind of weird gvnmt experiment? some weird magical vampire guide (dont ask) hints they wanted this themselves ooh, intrigue. and the world is very very quirky they start in a gravity falls-y woods and then get teleported to a desert with minotaurs and witches, then get invited for tea by the Grim Reaper and the rest of the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse

tbh Grim is the best part of the show but thats neither here nor there

anyway they have a magic map that updates once theyve been somewhere, and it shows them that the hot dry desert and the swampy wood bunker are like right next to each other

so you start thinking, how are they gonna explain that? this is too weird to be handwaved away. theyve gotta be going somewhere

they visit some other exotic locals, like what appears to be the set of Alien (complete with alien) and an abandoned old fair and a floating island with japanese inspired evildoers on it

the weird magic guide keeps showing up and being vague, dropping hints that there are other kids there etc

at some point Mira says "This is no time for games!" Weirdy: "Thats where youd be wrong~" me and sister: Aha! videogame! that connects all the dots, and also makes the tropes clear: small world with all kinds of different areas, quests, fights, superpowers, an updating map, fast travel Adam, a few eps later: guis i think we might be in a videogame me and sister: [high five]

Anyway in the meantime also the second predictable Kai (discount Ron) plot happens: they meet three other kids (boy boy girl) and they act shady but the girl takes an immediate and obvious interest in Kai so obviously theyre gonna manipulate him and have him betray his friends but in the end he'll see through their facade and kick their ass that more or less happens. The other teens also confirm that this is a game, and theyre trying to win. winning is done by bringing the MacGuffin to a tree fights over macguffin ensue situations are dire but our characters persevere

(also Mira kisses Adam and he acts very weird about it, almost as if hes gay and the only reason they didnt make it canon is censors) (no lingering gaze, just him going 'hehe yeah no thanks, its not you, its me', but in a very... he doesnt seem to be saying it with shall we say burning desire in his soul. hes literally just like 'eh youre a good friend.' Cool move, cartoon that made the two main boys have arguments over nothing cause of course the two main guys have constant dick measuring matches)

this all is not the offensive part btw it was all fun and games, its just a flash cartoon i wasnt expecting Shakespeare

anyway so theyre in a videogame, and apparently thats the answer to all the weirdness. A bit of a cop-out, cause thats a very easy answer, but eh, it works. it wasnt immediately obvious.

also something i hadnt mentioned yet: thisd be ideal for making (self-insert) OCs. Unique powers for each person, there are clearly more characters than shown, the world is your playground

and maybe the video game thing could be interesting on its own in the last few eps the game seems to be glitching out a lot they say its breaking apart so they really gotta hurry now maybe they were beta testers for a vr game gone wrong maybe this is part of it but its like a huge experience that you tell all your friends about anyway there are ways it could be cool, could be expanded to a season 2 despite having solved the mystery

but. last episode. our heroes get the MacGuffin, go to a final stage, and fight the Boss Battle (its a dragon). they enter the Castle....

...and the screen zooms out, into a sudden live action stage, where we see the cartoon (literally what you were just watching) on screen. there are 6 chairs, 3 with our heroes, 3 with the other teens, presumably. theres a host and hes dressed exactly like the weird guy (and that was already kind of a clashy outfit in the cartoon). it was all just a game show. but. the worst part is the live action

you. dont. go. from. animated. to. live. action.

other way around? fine, can work. But now? WHY itd still be dumb and dissapointing but if itd been animated too itd at least have been.... nice to look at but the acting.. oh god they didnt even say anything and it was all wrong clearly theyd just picked the first random teens that vaguely looked like the chars and put them in there cause they had no lines so who needs acting?!

the enemy teams girl had, in the cartoon, pink hair. Purple with pink highlights instead of stylizing that into something more realistic or painting the actual hair, they gave some 30-year old woman a wig and called it a day

keep in mind i binged this show in one go

purposely stayed up late to watch the last ep with my sis even tho we shouldve gone to bed and were disobeying our dad cause we Had to Know

and theres more i said they had no lines but i was lying. Kai did have a line. well, his voice actor did they dubbed him also the line was about him having to pee which is already not the most hilarious in animated version but a live action kid whose supposed to be this character you spent 3 hours with but looks nothing like him saying that in a voice that doesnt belong to his throat, as he stands bashfully in front of a live audience, the only words spoken by your main characters in the last moments...

*its actual hell*

oh oh one more thing at the end the six kids stand in a line and kai is next to other girl they glance at each other and as the eyes of this teen and 30 year old in wig cross, her eye glitches for a moment

dun dun duuun

bUT i dont care anymore, The Hollow. You overestimated your own premise. this wont be forgiven. your most interesting part was the mystery, and the answer to that was "just a normal game show" (which also doesnt make sense on another level smh) soo if you think that im interested in what these two-dimensional (ha) characters will do now about the glitch in the eye of a bitch then i have news for u

i dont

...if they get a second season ill probably check it out though as long as its animated

Friend: Gammi I'm getting the real sinking suspicious feeling that what you saw isn't the real end but bad on purpose because there's more to it

Me: the show didnt seem good enough to be bad on purpose

and yet im still not done, if youll still hear me out

i mean, im an animation fan so ill still watch but if theyd wanted to be bad on purpose they really shouldve done a better job fleshing out the characters thats what people come back for that was a bit of a sidetrack BUT so i said why the live action itself was just terrible in overal quality

but the resolution that 'oh it was all in a game show' doesnt work on multiple levels

first of all, they show a short flashback of "About 5 hours earlier". The kids stand on the stage and are instructed to take their seats in the vr-chairs, and pick their superpower

2 things i dislike about that

1) there goes all the self-insert/oc potential. they werent teens in over their heads, they werent gvnmt experiments, or just some kids who wanted to play a game -they were in it to win it, from the start. thats very specific and not the most appealing to all kinds of characters (goodbye, all the 'im just an average girl whod never step into the spotlight like that' characters).

Also, all the expansion on lore is gone. maybe there were other games simultaneously? eh, maybe, but theyd be all gameshows. Maybe someone ended uo trapped there for way longer? nah its just a gameshow theyre not gonna let anything actually bad happen. Maybe there are other worlds, other areas, other weird creatures? unlikely, they finished the map and familiarity seemed to be a thing for the audience. Now every new idea has to be put not through a 'whats interesting for a player' but a 'whats interesting for a viewer' lens, and whats a selfinsert if not a player in another universe

2) HOW IS THIS A SUCCESSFUL GAME SHOW

who the hell watches a game show for 5 consecutive hours, some of which mustve been just them walking. also, we zoom out of the screen were watching, so implication is that everything up until then has been what the audience has seen. but... we only followed the one team. there were two? why didnt the audience want to see what they were up to? ~reality tv usually thrives on showinf the worst assholes so realistically they wouldve been the focus~

There are also way too many times *both* teams couldve failed, from early on till late in the game. Not a single game i can think of thats played for an audience is set up like that, and especially not a televised one (okay tbf idk if this was televised, i dont remember if i saw cameras, but. it mustve. monetary reasons.)

What r u gonna do if they all 'died' from the monsters in the first ep? Call it a day? boring for the audience. let them restart from scratch? boring for the audience. the existence of an audience messes with everything

AND THEN ANOTHER THING what do you mean, "5 hours ago?" you never get a time stamp to show how long theyve been in there but there are some cuts, when they travel and such. The actual show is a lil over 3 hours runtime. You mean to tell me you sat through 2 hours of the characters just walking?

okay last thing. so. they were clearly second season teasing with the glitching eye thing. i already said this but. theres nowhere to go from here that isnt worse that the first season. your mystery is dead. you clearly know your live action teens cant act so youd have to go back into the game - but why would they do that? how would that be in any way interesting? you explored all there was to explore.

The other, more out there option, is that as you said the 'real world' was a fake-out and theyre still in a game. but. how would- how would you even make that remotely convincing? if youd just left the 'real world' gameshow as animated too this wouldnt have been a problem. but there is absolutely no conceivable reason to justify, in universe, why another meta-level up is 2D animation again unless they were in a game, in a game, in a game. and thats just dumb. yall aint inception

Friend: HONESTLY if they just kept the whole deal animated it'd probably be okay. Not good, but better,

Me: ye me and my sister came to the same conclusion

i couldve lived with that. at least, i couldve just acknowledged the finales existence but chose to ignore it. now however im full phantom planet levels of denial. in fact i dont even know how the show ended anymore, suddenly

Friend: what finale? what show?

Me: also at least now we know why its called The Hollow

it leaves you feeling empty inside

#the hollow #the hollow netflix #netflix the hollow #uhm #text post #joos yaps #in case anyone was curious what ive been blogging about today #this is the show

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