#theres me and im dead or smth | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

sugarwizard · 7 months ago

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at this rate ill be a real human being with real human flesh and bones

#trying to figure things out w my gender #idk its been many days now #leslie feinberg save me #or like. random reddit thread from 12 years ago too you're p handy #aughhhh #i dont understand #I've been trying to figure out what I want by imagining how I want to look when im older #and idk whether its because you normally cant anyways and people have no idea or something #but i keep thinking on whether id want to be an old man or an old woman #and i dont see anything #theres me and im dead or smth #and i know theres something because old butches exist and they're great and cool and awesome #but like. i cant picture anything where im not stuck within the body I know now #i ahve no idea #labels are irrelevant to me this is more about medical/social transition #no idea #my sense of self on the internet isnt too helpful because i dont have a body on the internet. you cant misgender me because i dont exist

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luck-of-the-drawings · 11 months ago

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[<==PREV PAGES] [NEXT PAGE==>(not out yet.wait a year.or maybe more.imagine.]

saw alot of comments on prev pages; saying 'i HATE that mean teacher! im gonna FIGHT HIM!!' & i LOVE the energy!! it WOULD be nice. to have that catharsis. but the story of young tidestrider is Not one of catharsis. it is a story of being so small and so special and sucking so bad.

#jrwi fanart #jrwi show #jrwi riptide #gillion tidestrider #GONNA START FORMATTING MY COMICS BETTER. W THE PROPER 'PREV' 'NEXT' LINKS #REALLY DIDNT EXPECT TO CONTINUE THIS SERIES BUT AAAUUUHH MY BRRAAAIN MY BRAIN IS SO IDEASSS. I HAVE 3 OTHER PAGES SKETCHED OUT #NO PROMISES ILL FINISH EM ANY TIME SOON OR EVER. MY WHIMS ARE THEIR OWN BEAST AND I ONLY DRAW ON MY WHIMS #THAT BEING SAID IF U COMMISSIONED ME ILL GEEETT TO YOUUU IM SORRYYYY. ART IS AN EMOTIONAL RELEASE FOR ME N BABY I HAVE EMOTIONS.#ESPECIALLY ABOUT GILLION TIDESTRIDER CHAMPION OF THE UNDERSEA HERO OF THE DEEP.for the desc here i put smth that i typed up in the tags of #another thing i made. i gotta make a proper Baby Gillion tag or smth. eventually.. eventually...I LOVE DRAWIN THIS LIL BABY GUY..#i also LOVE depicting the teachers as just being so fuckin mean. ofc theres variation in that. just like in all things.like the teacher her #idk if itll be mentioned but the octo lady is named Ms Octburn.an octopus pun based off the name of an actual councilor i had #when i was in elementary school i got bullied alot but teachers never did anything. i hated adults and didnt trust them.#but this councilor o mine was so genuinely sweet. i remember spending alot of time w her. she doesnt work there anymore.#but that one school adult that actually earns ur trust and is there for you when they can be.its SO important for a child i think #i hope she knows how much she helped me.youll see in the next page that ms octburn isnt perfect either.but she tries. they all try.somehow.#ALL these comics are gonna be inspired by somesorta experience o mine in the school system. school is so fucked up u ever thing abt that #AND GILLIOOOOONNN IN THE MOST FUCKED UP LITTLE SCHOOL OF ALL. MAINTAINED BY A CULT. CENTERED AROUND HIM. OUR CHOSEN ONE #I IMAGINE ALOT BANKS ON HIS SUCCESS. THIS IS THE WORLD. THE WHOLE WORLD. THE PROPHECY IS GOING TO COME TRUE N UR TELLIN ME #THAT ITS THIS LITTLE IDIOT THATS GONNA BE SAVING US? WHAT IF HE FAILS. IF HE CANT GET THIS RIGHT THEN HE WILL FAIL AND WE WILL DIE #WE NEED TO TRAIN HIM. WE NEED HIM TO LEARN. AND TO SUCCEED. OR ELSE WE'RE DEAD. WE'RE ALL FUCKING DEAD. I IMAGINE THAT MUST BE STRESSFUL #in other news i hope ppl actually giggle when they read these. they ARE intended to be comical. dark humor or whatever. like its also sad #this is intended to be a sad comic series. but a funny one too. does that make sense? god i hope so.saw some1 say they had flashbacks-#-reading this. like YES!! THE INTENDED EFFECT!! YOU GET ME!! i love seeing ppl get upset on this lil baby boys behalf. i LOVE seeing ppl-#-wail n weep n cry in the comments. i LOOOVE seeing ppl RELATE to baby gillion. and i love letting u all know that this wont be a happycomi #gillion gets his happiness arc in the actual show. this series is one of unfortunate events. teehehehe. do u guys remember that show #i keep listening to the lil songs from A Series of Unfortunate Events for inspiration. GOOD STUFF!!#anyway uuhh uhh thats all i got in my brain. for now. feed me ur comments give me ur input i NNEEEEEDD THHEEEMMMM

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premamelody · 2 months ago

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out of time

#undertale yellow #uty #meta flowey #utysd #meroyah #premaposting #flowey #hehe deploy jack stauber #i have this funny idea that every fight starts commotion right #so theres a timer until flowey's like wait a minute and sees you #this is what i meant by that one post #guys he blind not stupid #im a concept person i barely have video game creation knowledge. just enough for a side scroller #i wish i can lock in but college boutta hit me like a truck man. ima lready struggling with physics a lil #oh yeah back to surviving death uh. i need to draw meroyah more #man i sure do wish souls lost parts of them like blood or smth when hit bc blood splatter would make this look cooler #oh yeah theyre not sad about clover possibly dying. thats angry tears. clover is dead.#meroyah joining the team is unlikely purely because they cannot stop fighting. if they do then theyll repeat the mistake...their oversight #the oversight that caused their death. his death. flowey's first death. asriel's death #but im find out how to make it happen.

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nerdyspies · 4 months ago

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i feel like hatchetfield (the name) is a refrence to haddonfield, the name of the town in halloween... seeing how many horror refrence there are in tgwdlm i wpuldnt be surpised if they named hatchetfield after haddonfield BUT idk just a silly thought

#the guy who didnt like musicals #tgwdlm #hatchetfield #halloween #like tgwdlm is just a huge refrence to invasion of the body snatchers #and theres def from shawn of the dead #and romero's zombie movie refrences thrown in there #im just saying i wouldnt be surpised if haddonfield is #like the insporation for the name hatchetfield #and im talking abt specifically the name only #not like where the town is or its features #hatchetblr #i could also be totally wrong LMAO #please tell me if its confirmed that hatchetfield is a #like a refrence to smth else #cuz thsn i probs look dumb going “omg guys-”#starkid #spence rambles

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arolesbianism · 3 months ago

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I'm fucking free babey

#rat rambles #I have escaped lob corp hell lets GOOOOI #now time to play it again <3 #and by that I mean probably beat library of ruina first but I also do wanna do a run with modded abnormalities #anyways lob corp very fucking good 👍#would recommend if you want to sink at 100+ hours into a game that will make you want to walk into the ocean #theres a shitty woman in it. multiple actually. even if you couldn't pay me to read the stuff involving one of them #not because its bad per say but because its binah and she sure does say words and things #I do like binah tho shes funny #carmen is the other one shes like if olivia broussard was actually a bad person and instead of becoming a robot she became seeped into the #collective human consciousness and started telling people to distort #olivia is still better due to being a divorced middle aged lesbian but hey carmen and kali can be yuri if you believe #once I get around to fully reading the story in one sitting Im sure Ill be more insane abt carmen but for now shes mostly just funny to me #I will say that Im not sure if I like carmen haunting the narrative in a more literal sense but ig Ill have to finish lor and see #there is smth kind of fun abt her metaphorical reanimated corpse being forced to remain long after those who reanimated her but idk #it rly just depends on if she can prove herself interesting enough for me to feel keeping her around in the world is more interesting than #the joy I get from having a person that everyone worshipped just being some dead guy #we'll see I suppose

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callmehere-iwillappear · 2 years ago

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REF SHEET JUMPSCARE

fun facts/context/things that didn't fit on the sheet under a read more!

raph's chew stim necklace was a gift from mikey. he goes through them like once a month MAX

mikey's 'more sensitive to mystics' thing isn't necessarily plot relevant just a fun tidbit. he gets it from draxum's side /hj

donnie is officially the older twin now HOWEVER prior to the invasion they didn't know which of them was and would have some completely arbitrary criteria or competition (a la rock paper scissors) to decide every time someone asked. the criteria was different EVERY time and ONLY made sense to them

one time after witnessing this draxum tried to tell them who was older and they both chewed him out. it's not about who's actually older it's about the PRINCIPLE

in this canon the invasion took place aroundddd six months after shredder round two

i REFUSE to believe donnie wouldn't build his techbo/other tech stuff that got destroyed again. he would NOT solely use mystics you cannot convince me. my reasoning for why he did in the movie is that he was too focused on trying to bring back shelldon to worry about his other tech stuff

SPEAKING OF SHELLDON. idk that it'll come up in the fic directly so basically: donnie spent a while trying to bring him back and wasn't able to during that time, and then... didn't give up exactly but got super discouraged and 'took a break' from working on him

'took a break' aka saying he would get back to it but not actually doing that because he refused to admit he was really just scared it would end with concrete proof that it wasn't possible. at least this way he doesn't know for sure that shelldon is gone forever (even if he also doesn't know for sure that he isn't)

schroedingers shelldon basically

and then the invasion happened and everything went to shit. shelldon is still sitting in donnie's lab somewhere though -- he luckily didn't have any parts donnie needed for the portal that he couldn't get from something else

#rottmnt #rise of the tmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt raph #rottmnt leo #rottmnt donnie #rottmnt mikey #cmhiwa #may add to this later idk. im sure theres more fun facts im forgetting lmao #anyway the thought of shelldon just being dead forever makes me sad. so hes just like. in a robo coma essentially #idk if itll happen in the fic but one day leo and mikey WILL kick his ass into realizing that its way better to know for sure #and (continuing w the shroedingers cat comparison) if shelldon IS fixable then the longer donnie waits #the longer the cat is stuck inside the box by itself. etc etc #my art #fic art #what other tags did i haaaaaaaaaave whatever ill add em later if i need to #i was going to make donnie taller than leo (bc he continued growing in the past year where leo. did not because he was dead)#before i remembered that one fuckin throwaway line abt leo still being taller but not for long. or smth #and i could just change it but ehhhh #so. leo is still taller. for now

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lazaruspiss · 1 month ago

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im gonna say it. normies are real and i Do Not trust them...

#thinkin about some of the braindead stuff ive heard over my years in fandom #and its like... unless its dead dove/whump spaces theres always that one guy yknow #even then. im sure there are normies there too somehow.#ig my best description for what i even mean is like #u see smth new/weird/gross/etc in a creative work. if u go 'thats too much and they shouldnt do that' ur a normie #its different from anti tho but thats more confusing to try n explain #uhm.#anti = 'this art is a one to one reflection of their moral values'#normie = doesn't think it auto makes someone evil but just thinks weird art shouldn't exist #like cyberbully creeps vs the kinda guy that marketers base their approaches around #i hate normies but its not a deal breaker for me like i can still be nice #cyberbullies are mean tho. kinda comes w the territory. i dont like that #im not gonna keep calling them antis bc like. they are just cyberbullies at a certain point #im not forgetting the rape/death threats ive seen ppl get haha...#ive gotten less directly threatening hatemail but ive still gotten hatemail. which. its still cyberbullying lol #lol i was so ready to just be a normie hater for a min but then i Remembered... it gets much worse than normies...

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nobodieshero-main · 6 months ago

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oh my god so book 1 starts with Mordred being born to die....i could start book 2 with "Mordred Lavore was not dead."

#also makes ME laugh bc the first book ends with everyone being presumed dead #like mordreds not even THERE #so anyone reading the second book would be like ''WHAT HAPPENED IS EVERYONE OKAY''#and mordred 'morbid' lavore is there like ''why the fuck am i not dead what kind of rigged system is this-''#unrelated but also incredibly related: im gonna have mata say something about a lamb set free or smth #when theyre in the mahina woods asking about dragons the seer mata says some shit and its meant to make no sense until later #she says something about birds and fire (ahuru) and then so what if she also says something about lambs (mordred)#i need to slip the mordred-ahuru link in enough that people will be able to pick up on it #OH MY GOD KEIKA AND AHURU'S FEAR OF SHEEP???? MORDRED'S MAIN METAPHOR BEING A LAMB???#THERES SOMETHING THERE #a flock of sheep chasing them when they're children....a lamb in nevmones awaiting slaughter....the lamb replaced with a bird....#the metaphors are metaphoring

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angie-in-a-jail · 1 year ago

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I ACCIDENTLY DELETED YOUR ASK 😭😭😭😭😭 IM SO SORRY

I was rambling on ab Everything i think about you on the ask (all positive things dw!! It was really long tho..), saved it to my drafts to check the post, realized the post only said One thing i love ab you, came back to my drafts and accidently deleted it cause i wanted to start over 🥹

ill just ramble here :')

One thing i love about you is the way you type!! Its so distinct that i can immediately tell its you!!

Its also so,,,, clear? Ig??

Like,, besides being able to immediately tell its you, i can also immediately tell what you mean, the tone youre saying it in, etc, which i really appreciate :))

Idk idk it makes me happy everytime i see it :)))

ITS OK DW ABT IT

I'm always concerned that my sentences can be read in a different way (like if you said it without any important commas) or not in the way I intend to deliver it (the dramatic pause/comedic effect is necessary) so I guess in the end it ended up being my distinct way of typing

#you should know i would love to hear abt the other random things youd rant abt #as one of the few SEA people i get to actively interact with #i enjoy being able to use malay/indo to say things to you #something about speaking a diff language from English with another person is so fun and enjoyable #theres also smth abt our interactions that i cant describe as being smth so silly #WAIT just remembered i love how you react to my vile thoughts #you havent seen the worst 😈 / j #the way you interact with other people is #idk i guess with seeing how my juniors and ppl on the internet are im glad ur very civil abt anything #(in contrast to me where if im annoyed ill spam anywhere abt it)#芷 #ask #asks #your dead european ancestor

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foxmulderautism · 2 years ago

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getting emails about my writing ma offer is soo funny like girl i cannot afford you!

#like even if they could help me fund it which i doubt i dont think my ass should be doing an intensive course rn so #also looking at this email id apparently have to be settled and moved there 3 days after my moms birthday which like #my ass is going to be out of town around that time because you know. dead mom birthday!#me visiting my moms grave a year after her diagnosis/for the first time since feb and then 3 days i move to the other side of england #like FUCK THATTTTT #theres smth here about guaranteed accommodation but like i havent been able to work much this year because of aforementioned horrors so #me when i try for 2024 and i send an application to this same ma program THREE YEARS IN A ROW #i wanna have as much time to save money and also like. heal #urghghghghhh im gonna need new references for my application next year tho #oh well. 2024 problem!#tbh do i even want to do my ma in writing like i want to do my ma so i can teach at uni level #i could just do some silly queer lit/cinema ma but that would mean going to a diff uni unless my undergrad changes their literature ma #i want the alumni discount. UGHGHGHGHGHGHGHHHHHH anyways

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orcelito · 2 years ago

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i have died. badly.

#speculation nation #i have been ghosting on discord for over a week now #i feel kinda guilty for it but not guilty enough to subject myself to a presentation in a class im gonna fail anyways!#seeing my group messaging each other about shit and just playing chameleon #i have died. ok. im dead.#LISTEN theres 4 other ppl in the group. so i dont feel as bad if it's 4/5 doing work than like 2/3 or smth #i do not assume they r gonna include me in the project submission. they really should not.#i will continue to ghost in discord for another week or two lol until whenever this group disbands #such is my life. lmao.

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29121996 · 2 months ago

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im gonna say something (admit) and no one can Say a Fucking Word Alright.

#the fact that my room was alreasy hard ti skeep in . bc trauma n relationships or wtv i called it #and like ive struggled to keep anything fucking clean im gonna be socreal. its so fucking difficult.#but idk i . theres a small part of me that diesnt wanna clean it bc even tho . ive Wiped the areas #down and like sprayed thw carpet #theres fucking . traces of my cat still all over thst room (inckuding unfortunately piss)#and i sont . idk i know its gross but a part if me is hesitant to ckean my room bx like .#idk . she cant steo in there ans markcher territory or make it Her Soace anymore.#like shes been dead for months and im still finding cat furr everywhere bc i just dint wanna ckean anyrhing i know #shes been #apart fromclike . xlothes and stuff .#for the record i dont actually step foot in my roon n my dokr stays Closed. so i dont axrually .#yea im not vathing in my cats fucking piss or anything. she pissed in there and i hakf assed cleaned it.#i also thibk she pissed in a box and im furious abt that STILL . vitch lwmme play soccer w ur ghost #anyway. i miss her a kot and i thibk im edging sone of thst grief still.#or i acceoted it . idm i nust. it feels Weird . her death still feels weird n how ive jandled ir feels weird #coupled w feelinf her spirit (i think she leaned against my leg one night bc i felt smth heavy n warm #prssed against my calf n i got this vibrsnt image of this white n grey cat rubbinf against a persons leg #it was cartoonish bc my team cannot Not be fucking Funny. but i fwlt like it was her :(#hhhhhh. this year has been so hard . n ik this doesnt Antirely Change Shit #but theres a new moon 30th dec n then some other planetary xhanges thatll make it soon feelclike a new ywar #i genuinely cosnider the switch to sries season the new ywar n then again Birth days bc .#yea i rhink the sun n moon SHOULS be our calendar years but i digress .#hmmm aircon n lights keep doing this weird thibg #HEY id rlly like to know why tberes suddebky so much fuckery w elextricity incmy city #like . Dawg why is there socmany power outages. or better yet: why am j Present fkr so many of tgem / why do i Know ppl #going through them.

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vamptastic · 3 months ago

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the places where i think religion made me Weird are i think morally doing (consensual) fucked up shit to corpses is fine but i find the actual processes of embalming and cremation to be violating and disgusting on an instinctual level. and also i think judaica tattoos are insanely tacky if not outright disrespectful even when other jews get them. and generally seeing tattoos in jewish spaces is a weird feeling. but overall i am i think a chill guy for being considerably more religious (or idk, knowing/caring more about religion) than the average person. idc about promiscuity or gender roles or whatever. i just feel guilty every time i eat shrimp.

#just very used to the idea that tattoos are fundamentally unjewish #but like none of this is smth id say something judgmental to somebody over #it's just hangups i notice i have bc of my upbringing #it's also like... i am not particularly religious by Jewish standards #i mean jewish standards are totally all over the place- im an outstanding jew compared to holiday only jews #but a terrible jew by orthodox standards given that i don't keep kosher or observe traditional rules around the sabbath etc etc #but for christains like as far as i can tell half their rules r shit they made up that isn't in the new testament #like they don't approach religious rules in at all the same way (technically don't they just do the ten commandments?)#it seems to be more about how much time you put into religion than how observant you are bc theres not. as much to observe right?#like i think a christian teenager that goes to church every sunday and goes to dinner with old church ladies on the reg #probably they are Very Religious and also prolly sheltered #but me a jew who does that im not even a proper mensch #also being interfaith makes it weird and just not having good extended family in general #my mom is very passionate about judaism but her mom dgaf and all the other extended family is christian #so all i got is like stories about my dead greatgrandparents and all the stuff my mom picked up from them #nobody speaks yiddish or hebrew fluently. there's no objects rlly passed down bc my grandma was ashamed of her judaism. that kind of thing.#all of my jewish culture comes from synagogue and it was similar for my mom growing up too

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wasch-lappen · 10 months ago

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I wish at this point people would just tell me they hate my opinion because I'm tired of a conversation just completely stopping dead in its tracks and after some time continuing as if I hadn't said anything.

What is it??? What did I do wrong this time?? You can tell me, I am used to doing stupid shit all the time!!!!!

And people dont understand why I assume I'm annoying to everyone and it would be no different to them if I just disappeared

#FUCK #like the second time in 24 hours i wrote smth into chat #ALL conversation stops #after like 10 minutes another topic is brought up and I might as well just not have existed #like im not angry about ppl hating me #im angry im always being told im not by people who walk on eggshells around my fragile ego #it is GOOD and RIGHT to hate me!!!#do it loudly!!!!#I KNOW IM RIGHT I KNOW YOUD ALL BE BETTER OFF WITH ME DEAD #THIS IS WHY NOONE CARES ABOUT ME ON EITHER OF MY BLOGS #IM A TERRIBLE PERSON #IM ANNOYING AND STUPID AND ANTISOCIAL #I notice the fact I only have maybe 1 or 2 friends #depends if one is preoccupied with his relationship #and theres good reasons for it I just-#and I care sooo much about my posts getting notes even stupid shit like this like whyyy why why #I KNOW its gonna get 0 notes and noone is seeing this and I might as well just write in a journal at this point #but noo i gotta be hashtag relateable and get the funny number up #even tho that never HAPPENS #GEE I WONDER WHY #CANT BE BECAUSE IM UNLIKEABLE AND MY OPINIONS ARE TRASH

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awesomebooknerd8998 · 1 year ago

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uh oh ! saw a reference 2 a poem i like & now i physically cannot stop stimming !

#/kind of neg tbh this is deeply inconvenient #i am so normal about poetry /j #theres just!! this 1 fic in a tag ive been perusing lately that quotes a poem i rly like in the summary & it keeps setting me off!!!#& then i think im good & i look back at my phone screen & boom! still there!#& i am once again squeaking & wildly flapping my hands #but i cannot adequately display my adoration 4 the poet!!!! GAH!!!#LIKE!! i want 2 make art abt it or smth!! but i cannot draw!! & i dislike the sound of my voice so i prob won't record a recitation or smth!#drops dead /lh

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chiiyuuvv · 1 year ago

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can you do bestfriends!riize who has a crush on you reacting to you calling them babe or baby? thank you and anyway i love your works!! it's so well written :]]

• PAIRING — bestie!riize x fem!reader

• GENRE — their a little slow.. fluff, my attempt at humor, honestly shit

• WORD COUNT — 462

• AUTHOR'S NOTE — sorry for not posting a bunch ive been working on some other stuff

• TAGLIST — @moonlightdarlings , @cake1box , @babigriin , @soul-is-a-strange-kid

MASTERLIST! – JOIN THE TAGLIST!

SHOTARO ☆

You had called him babe in of the members

Shotaros face red and his jaw dropped, along with the members looking around like, "their dating and their keeping it a secret?? 🤨"

Hes stuttering so much, someone help him.

Theres this stupid smile on his face and laughs bubbling out of him and hes staring at you with hearts in his eyes, hes so in love damn 😞

Definitely pulls you to the side, saying smth like "what are we??? :DD" praying on the inside you say "your girlfriend" ♡

EUNSEOK ☆

yes, you called him babe. Wait what????

"What?" Blinking at you repeatedly. give him a second hes malfunctioning

Lets out this smile that gives you the shivers, trying to calm down his racing heart

"No, youre just joking. Funny, actually."

Almost kisses you when you say you arent ♡

SUNGCHAN ☆

Goes along with it

"Yes im her babe whatcha gonna do huh?? 😡"

Drops down to his knees to kiss the back of your hand

What a damn minute..

YOU CALLED HIM BABE YOU CALLED HIM BABE YOU CALLED HIM BABE ♡

WONBIN ☆

Tries to laugh it off

Youre obviouslyyyyyyyyyy joking. He doesnt like the joke but he'll just accept it anyways

Theres noooooooooo way you like him too

So what if youre stroking his red cheek with this pretty, soft smile on your face and hes smiling back, feeling like he could fall in love all over again?????

Shoot- hes leaning it. Wait, what.. you are too???? ♡

SEUNGHAN ☆

Hes so gigglyyyyyy gosh

Wants you to say it again so he can let out a series of giggles, his face burning red as he hides it in your neck

Doesnt find your joke funny even though hes laughing his heart out :<

Looks up at you with hearts in his eyes. he wants to kiss you

He wants to make you his, call him baby forever. Will you let him? ♡

SOHEE ☆

Feel like he wouldnt notice at first, until someone like shotaro would have to slap some sense into him

"What, she just called me baby beca- OH MY GODDDDDDDDD"

feel like he would sing "love is an open door" idk why

Your words were like an energy drink, a gallon of sugar.. sugar rush rush sugar rush rush ahh????

But gets so shy when he sees you the next day ♡

ANTON ☆

Hes gone. Hes dead. Hes jumping of a bridge

Reminds me of that kermit the frog meme, the one where it falls of a building with its arms out all happily and such

Will not take his eyes off of you because what. Did. You. Just. Say????

Hes screaming, crawling up the walls on the inside (source: trust me)

Will dream about this the next 25 business days plus weekends thank you very much ♡

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