#theres lore of him just wait
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more of this stupid bitch, fuck you you oversised bunny man
#theres lore of him just wait#theres so many project i want to make and finish but i only have two hands god help me#the anger i felt#im not dead just suffering#jervis tetch#dcu#my art#theres him with bunny ears for some reason#i hate him i said lovingly
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Fernando 2012 Chair Lore (source: me)
So I've been thinking a lot about Fernando sitting in this particular chair in the Ferrari garage in 2012 for [redacted] reasons:
Originally I just wanted to find more pictures of it for reference, and then went down a rabbit hole of 2012 pictures, trying to figure out when exactly the chair came to be. There's so many pictures of him in it, and it's so funny to me to imagine them hauling this super villain chair all around the world for him. And so now I'm obsessed with the evolution of it:
Pre-Chair - Australia to Bahrain:
He just had this little stool, well I should say big because it somehow still manages makes him look small. Clearly not comfortable; to paraphrase @sweatyflytrap, it's not conducive to his inner Shakespeare villain monologues
The Chair Appears - Spain
He suddenly now has this, aforementioned, super villain chair. Several things, why is it like this. It looks like a sim chair almost ngl. And then the weird plexiglass support is confusing me, like where did they get that. It furthers my narrative they just had this chair that they couldn't put in a car so they put that clear bottom on it. Anyways yes good, now he has somewhere to brood
The Chair Evolves - Silverstone
Look!! They gave him a booster seat!!!
The Chair is Now Here to Stay :)
I downloaded a truly horrible amount of pics him in this chair, so now you all must also look at them >:)
*he still had the chair in 2013, but I think they took it away from him in 2014 :( Is nothing sacred in this world??? I hope he got to take it home hahaha
#i now have a psychosexual relationship with this chair#and im also just obsessed with the range of it???#theres an equal amnt of pics where he looks like a hot evil villain and then also ones where hes all curled up on it cutely#the co-stars to this post are really all his different sunglasses and the sexy button up fireproofs#this was actually like a true derangment post#irdk what came over me and caused me to make this but it is very important lore actually and i care a lot about it#im just curious about the origins still#like theyre suddenly like in spain 'here is a present for your home race'#the upgrade in silverstone is still killing me. ik its to make it more comfy but like...its literally a booster seat im sorry#but yeah fernando is so real in these. i too would sit in this chair all the time#okay now stay with me bcs this is just vettonso pilled BUT#the difference btwn him and seb in their garages is so funny to me#seb was always sitting on the cabinets like curled up on them lounging on them kicking his legs over them like a kid on a counter etc etc#and then fernando just has a fucking bond villain chair#and you wonder why i ship them so heavily. scoff scoff#this is just a ref post to draw him and seb together on the cha- huh what wait who said that? what was that huh that was weird#fernando alonso#f1#formula 1#formula one#*would be so fucking funny to tag this as lore#fa14#we do a little bit of f1#catie.rambling.txt#normal posts that catie normally makes in a normal fashion
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the immense rage i felt while watching this entire scene go down was so strong. the gall to find joy in someone's misery, misery that cant even be stopped by them even if they wanted to change it. i feel so sad for him seeing this go down
if u need like... a brief explanation on what happened, heres how it went
these two miners probably knew that he gets so excitable when he sees money, so one of them throws a coin to catch his attention which he does, and nor.ton desperately tries to catch it. the coin lands on one miner and they step on the coin and they laugh at him as he tries to lift his foot up and then they continue to toss the coin around until they were done with him :((((((((((( he keeps the coin but you can already understand how hes feeling there :(
#its so sad that throughout the entire play- nor.ton keeps getting memories and flashbacks from the past. especially leading up to the moment#where he exploded the mines. its so sad how hes constantly ridden with the past and he even caught spacing out a couple of times by his#fellow survivors. poor guy just carries so much burden of guilt and it all stemmed from his desperation to live better#one person in the chat said he's basically reliving the events in the mines as he stays in the manor. because he believes he'll win big#and its all at the cost at... outliving or exploiting the others.#i am so miserable dude. this is so well executed#~ rambling#see this is the chunk of lore to explain why i adore his story. its so complicated. hes not a good or bad guy. he tries to be good but fall#for the bad deeds because... what better is there for him to do? good isnt coming his way- it feels like the only option he ever has left i#the more dangerous route#:(#its 7am so ill try to sleep but. im so happy#im so happy to finally watch his play. even if theres no subtitles i was able to understand it. ill wait for the day subs are ready#but for now. im so happy. all the hype build up was really really worht it#ill try to give ithaqua's a watch someday because i hear its even more sadder than this one and im interested
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NOOOOOO Blueberry Grandpa!! 🥺🥺🥺 Atticus (and Regent by extension) is such an interesting character. Especially with his complecated relationships with what seems like everyone. I can see why Tsukiko loves her Dad so much. He's so kind and caring despite everything.
:D I'm glad to hear you enjoy old mr.blueberry!
I'm also gonna put this here because I felt like talking a bit more about him as a character:
I started writing Atticus because I wanted to explore pre-imperial and early imperial Garlemald with a character that lived through the brunt of some of the early conflicts (i.e, the reaper society, the home-front war, and the beginning of Solus' reign). Because a lot of the pre-history and subtext caught my eye while I was looking into lore.
He is a character I define almost primarily for the compassion and love he has for others, with Regent balancing him out by being an embodiment of his loyalty, determination, and sense of justice. And I've enjoyed writing him keeping that sense of self, even as it often puts him at odds with those he cares about. For Atticus, to pay the kindness he had gotten from those he had lost forward was the only way he knew of to keep that spark of their memory alive, and in how he thinks of himself, it is how he mentally prevents himself from becoming the man that took his village and his family from him in the first place.
The other main thing I wanted to explore with him is that he is, in archetype, a previous generation non-azem warrior of light, and the concept of him growing up and being from a place like Garlemald and the struggles that came with it because of how his motivations deviated from a lot of his kin.
Also in part because I thought it would be a least a little amusing for Emet to get attached to Atticus only to realize way too late that Hydaelyn had "gotten to him first". (Cue a man angrily shaking his fist towards the earth LOL)
#ffxiv#ask#anon#concept#oc#atticus van simularus#thank you for the ask <3#here I am yapping about my favorite old blueberry#I'll get around to also work on drawing Regent out more- it is simply the struggles of a character that is a shadow of a shadow LOL#but I'll probably get around to it when I redraw/work on his voidsent form and make a ref for atticus' enshroud#and that also means I get to eventually work on atticus and regents' dynamic#and how regent goes from a voidsent who 'judged those that wielded him'- often consuming those he found unworthy-#to being atticus' loyal right hand- only burdened by an oath he bound to by Emet Selch#theres also just a bunch of neat little details within lore that has made both of them very fun to write#and at some point I also need to draw the mercenary company atticus worked with again lol#also wait lmao I just realized that the characters I primarily show being close to atticus#are characters who got absolutely bodied by how caring he is with them and to others (regent- tsukiko- and emet)#man's too powerful LOL
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me being so set on hating every fontaine character because their designs looked too much and only pulling for the sibs + arlecchino but then navia turned out lovable in the quest. they advertised wrio as a dogboy. neuvy is a dragon AND has elf ears.
ITS JOEVER
#aishi.txt#when i say i dislike some of their designs i mean it like almost as much as i hate tighnari's#tighnari literally the worst of the worst in terms of genshin designs theres so much wrong with it idk where to start#waste too because his personality is fun. also his character demo theme slaps. the concept was THERE but...#lets just say he represents all my grief with how hoyo handled the region half of my culture is based off of#BLECHHH 👎👎#in contrast though i hate New fontaine char designs slightly less they just suffer from#the vtuber/gacha game effect of needing every character to look like the main one#they just stand out too much -_- not in a good way in a gaudy way#mitigated though by the fact that the npc designs in fontaine go hard and they look just as absurd#so its actually good???? they blend in now at least#compared to. lol. diluc and venti#anyways#thats my rant#i like wrio a lot from design and concept alone i must pull for him#neuvilette's lore goes so hard and im a sucker for elf ears + dragon#I'LL REFRAIN FROM PULLING BUT... ohghhh its hard#navia is my queen but i'll also wait before deciding!!#for now i have a lot of fun with the siblings alone and waiting for arlecchino. if shes even playable
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Does anyone else think its weird when people insist Hank isnt canon. Like yeah the guy whos one of the first things you see when you entire the level and with an entire lore book written by him and is one of our first looks at the cruelty and apathy of heaven towards sinners and is one of the first looks we see of how Gabriel can be very morally gray is completely non canonical i guess.
#its almost always as a way to shut down the idea V1 has a personality#like. okay maybe it putting the skull on Hank and it CALLING him Hank may not be canon.#and Hanks name IS a reference to a beta tester or something like that#but the way people call Hank in his entirety an easter egg or imply hes straight up not canon ????#dude why is there an entire lore book about him and he fits into U/ltrakills story#WHY DOES HAKITA LITERALLY MENTION HANK POSSIBLY NOT EVEN BEING DEAD AND IMPLYING HES JUST IMMOBILE FROM HOW LONG HE WAITED ON DISCORD#THERES OFFICIAL MENTIONS OF HANK FROM HAKITA ON THE MASTER DOC OF HAKITA SCREENSHOTS.#whats the fucking deal man.#all this for what? so u can have an edgelord blorbo with no personality at all except killing??#god forbid someone thinks V1 has its own personality due to in-game interactions#seriously why do so many people insist hank is completely non canon#my person interpretation is that hank is canon hes just. not canonically called hank and v1 just came up with that name for him
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i keep randomly mentioning fnaf but i cant rly say fnaf cause english titles dont do well here so i just say "the bear and rabbit" game/movie/thing and stepdad is always like is the rabbit good or bad and the bear is also bad or good and then i want to go into detail because not all rabbits are bad and not all bears are good but he stops listening to me in about 5 seconds every time so i just say something random rinse and repeat. today he asked me about mxes if hes bad since the other rabbit (springtrap) is bad but mxes isnt really bad so i was like no the purple/blue one is good but yellow is bad then thought about william being purple... wait till i tell him theres a yellow bear too
#see i prefer codenames cause when i would say monkey king he always says kong#and i cant tell him theres like 10 rabbits#i once started telling him the fnaf lore couple years back and he kicked me out#wait i forgot about vanny and glitch so theres more rabbits#one time we went to a car show with a game room on the side and one local cosplayer had their springtrap head there as a showcase#and i just had to be like thats. thats the rabbit i made some too and you wouldnt believe this is almost the same character#(springtrap and glitchtrap both being spring bonnie) they didnt get it#they fed me snacks dipped in dry ice while i was staring at springtraps disembodied head
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*taps mic and gets way too close to it* uhhh i was thinking abt pre-canon jr2 with Everyone But Them Knows trope. and so i jotted things down. and now i am sharing them.
ok so. Lisa. she def knows abt my crush bc she's my bestie obvi
but she's like soo annoying about it hsHND
g-d i can see her taking a picture of me unintentionally making heart eyes to jean and she tweets it with that homophobic 'i know what you are' dog meme HSHNWHLJ
ok wATI imagine their dad sees that on twitter and replies to it w like 'They seem like very good friends :)' LGNSLNDJHR he would .. (also thats not in a bad way per se like he supports the alphabet community.. he has the gay flag in his bio thinking it's for showing support. He's a lil confused but he has the spirit).
ok.. tommy t. i think tom knows a bit…
he's like 'yeah i'm really picking up some Vibes. really sensing some stuff' (and me being in denial like Wtf. there are no Vibes to be Had here. shut up?).
OK WAITT Quick switch up. If we're talking abt whether tom knows jean likes me .. ,':/ .. i don't think he tells him outwright. but tom figures it out ykno.
like maybe we're all hanging out somewhere and tom n jean are off somewhere talking or wtvrand tom asks if he;s interested in anyone. nd jean's like umm yeah i think so. tom's probably abt to ask who it is and then i show up to ask smth and tom just puts the pieces together.. u know the gif where he's just like :D yeah he does that wSHND. (tom: :D | me: why are you smiling.. weirdo)
tom Then becomes annoying abt it ahsjf
he and lisa quietly but obviously trying to nudge us together jdnfkng. worlds most annoying wingman and wingwoman <3
ok back tothe main point. Ben. .. doesn't know but if he did i bet he's like Yeah that makes sense wldnhjg
oh donna knows for sure. i didn't tell her she just immediately picked up on it WHSNHNS.
uhhh ann and leslie……. oh they don't know at all wSHNK
Listen it's enough that i'm friends with him i don't think they could handle me Liking him HTNKHS
esp leslie like she'd for sure be like ':/… Reallyyyy?….. you sure??' wkehsHNDK
#.txt#posting here is so awkward sowwy idk how to do this .#my instict is to be cringe on twitter (feel free to ask for it i'm way more active there) i need to get used to tumber#me???!? lore posting (sort of?)???!?1?? this is never happening again#i am not tagging this w everyone's names...#literally wrote this all out in a tweet but i don't feel like breaking it down in2 a thread so i am putting it here.#i have many thoughts on ann n leslies thoughts on me n jean. likeso many. But i will spare u all#also just realized i forgot chris ughhwgjslhn#uhh don't feel like Thinking Hard rn but umm i think he would also piece it together after a certain interaction w me. yeah lets go w that#and andy just assumes we're dating already#ok technically maybe this ksnt eveyone but them knows trope but who cares ok it counts.#everyone can at least Sense smth#btw queuing this so i dont have to deal w the embarrassment of posting. i can just queue this and run#wait wsit wait. remembered its a mockumentary and theres cameras .#two ppl talking in the foreground but the camera focusing me and jean talking in the background and i look nervous .#and then when we're done the cameraman trying toshoot a talking head and get me to tall abt him but im just like#'dont u have b roll to shoot Aaron. fuck off' MNDKVK#lore tag
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hm. ashe being the Girl could go one of two ways. either i stick closer to pd or i get a little silly with it.
#my post#I STILL DONT KNOW HOW TO INCORPORATE THE TRICKSTER INTO THIS. IDK HOW THE AFTERLIFE WORKS IN DANGER DAYS..#but anyways. im sticking closer to kj canon with ashes mom dying in the analog wars n getting drac'd and all that#but the question is. is mark ashes actual dad or not.#like sticking close to canon ages mark would be his dad. grew up in the normal world. lived a life before the war and before the city. lost#his wife. somehow got his kid back. and has been hiding ever since#OR. hear me out. hear me out okay.#ashe was raised similarly to the Girl- by a big group of people. and mark is one of those people.#but something along the lines of the music videos happens and everyone dies. and now its just mark and this kid.#and so he says Nope! fuck this! ive lost everything but the world wont take this one last person from me! and went into hiding with ashe.#gave them both normal names. never lets him go out bcus hes scared theyre still on blind's radar#if i go w the second one then ashe really has two moms#theres the mom as in according to danger days lore. who would be ashes biological parent#but then theres ashes Actual Mom From PD Who Doesnt Have A Name. who wouldve been in the same crew as mark and raised ashe#oh hang on. hang on now. wait. i might know how to sorta include the trickster. not really but a little bit. more like a reference than the#actual character. what if the Trickster as we know it is like BLI propaganda against this Nefarious Killjoy whos Destined to destroy them#but to killjoys the trickster is a legend whos gonna free them all from BLI one day. EVERYONES heard of it. some believe in it some dont#some think it died a long time ago#its a rule in the winters house that theyre not allowed to say that word#bECAUSE INSTEAD OF BEING KNOWN AS 'THE GIRL' IN THIS UNIVERSE ASHE WAS 'THE TRICKSTER'#ok no yeah im totally going w the second mark option#i mean it doesnt necessarily mean aged-down mark. dr death defying is right there. idk i will ponder on this
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Sigh. Nikola why must you be one of the more interesting oni characters. I don't wanna think abt you with your stupid spiky blond hair and your unethical science that mostly just serves to make Jackie more shitty by proxy. But I do. Because you're kind of orbo blorbo. Fuck you Nikola I hope you explode again
#rat rambles#oni posting#hes just extremely fascinating in the scientist crowd because he has a weirdly large presence in the like. actual meat of the lore.#like he has an actual arc that relates to the quote unquote plot of oni#he made the field around earth he made the neural vaculators (presumably) he contributed to the teleporters and was also involved with#some of the other projects in the bioengineering department and is one of the two scientists that we know for sure knew abt and worked with#duplicants and all of that and almost every instant of nikola being relevant hes only seen second hand#the One thing that we have that is Maybe directly from him is an email that hes the most likely canidate for#and I mean it Im pretty sure outside of that hes only ever either mentioned second hand or doesnt talk in the case of that one ellie email#even the one time we see proper dialogue from him it isnt even a recording its a second hand retelling from ruby#its soooo fascinating I dont even know if this was on purpose but I love it regardless#now tbf theres other characters who are also mostly if not only mentioned second hand but none that have as much of a lore presence as him#nails was close but then 'a seed is planted' dropped and they became a part of the troubling second hand nikola info club#watch them finally add ashkan dialogue and its just him talking abt nikola being involved in the puppy ai incident too or smth#the thing is that isnt even that out there nikola Did work on the teleporters and worked on somw gravitas time travel shit too so who knows#Im trying to think of theres anyone else whos mentioned in the logs but doesnt actually talk and I know there's steve and ada but hmmm#this isnt counting artifact or news artical specific mentions tbc we're talking within character dialogue#sorry meep mae and pei#WAIT cant believe I forgot abt devon rip bestie my sincerest apologies#I think thats it tho everyone else whos mentioned in dialogue has dialogue Im pretty sure#well direct dialogue I mean#oh tbc ashkan is also in that club#hes probably in second place on the weirdness of his lack of dialogue due to his striking presence in several log list#now tbf hes mentioned like 3 times I think? not counting artifacts ofc. so he's not talked abt That frequently#but one of those is in a paradox and the others are in story traits so its still interesting#I had already loved ashkan before doing my full lore dive so finding out this mysterious dr.ali was my boy ashkan was a delight#now ofc technically ashkan could have secret dialogue that we just dont know is him since we dont know his work id but still#we dont know nikolas either but nikola is likely in engineering and ashkan is likely in robotics so theyre both not likely to be them#they Could be as they do likely work with the bioengineering department but nikola is fully crossed out as the fossil guy at least#ashkan Could be the fossil guy but its not likely imo as theyre also the guy in the husbandry log implying theyre fully a biologist
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Sweethearts and Sweet Dreams <3
“Nothin’?”
“Mhm.”
“Whats behind your back then?”
You sway in place, trying to suppress a knowing smile. “I dont have anything behind my back.” (6.4k words)
tags!! - 18+ modern au! Husband! Joel Miller, Wife! Reader, you guys are happy and in love!, mutual obsession if u squint, lots of exposition im so freaking sorry, pervert Joel if u squint, praise kink joel if you squint, dumbification if you squint, written for those with daddy issues lowkeeyyyyy, written with game joel in mind but could be hbo joel no problem!, lowk i combined the two in my mind, mentions of shy old man joel, housewife! reader (by choice), unspecified age gap but reader is like. thirty? and joels Like...55??, talk about joel taking medication for his anxiety, p in v sex, dirty talk, public sex, outdoor sex, joel has a kink for dresses because i said so? service top joel if you squint, pet names, a pinch of jealousy and possessiveness for fun, playful banter, mentions of maria and tommy and their baby with a made up name Lol, mentions of ellie and sarah (rip), mentions of readers past abusive relationships, talk about joel struggling with substance abuse/addiction and being hospitalized.....Im sure u can theorize why </3, lots of lore ill get into in another fic MAYBE *smirks*, flip flop in perspective, sometimes showing what joel is thinking or what reader is thinking blah blah
authors notes!! - hi there!!! im mocha and this is my first joel fic ever + my first fic posted to tumblr!! im really nervous cuz i havent written anything in months and ive never written joel before so please let me know if you like it!! id love to write more of this au for u guys if theres a demand for it...Thank u for reading!! also barely proof read im ngl. ive been staring at this fic all day im sick of itttt. p.s i dont usually write smut i also kinda do idfk Is this bad or am i tweaking
You step out of the house, morning sun soaking into the roots of your hair and the driveway beneath your feet. Theres a package youve been waiting for.
You cant contain your grin as you wiggle it out of the hot prison that is your mailbox.
“What the hell are you doin’ out there barefoot?” Joel chastises you from the front door, leaning his elbow on the frame. Joel, your lovely husband of two years. Been together for five. And because of how hard he works, you have the privilege of being a stay at home wife. Some people think that sort of life is stifling, but youve never felt so free. No more jobs you hate, no more financial struggles. Just you, Joel, and your cat, Cement. He likes to pretend it isnt a totally hilarious name for a pet.
You were his first relationship in almost a decade, so it was a lot of work helping him unpack his anxieties about dating, and a lot of work for you to feel safe and unafraid. Honestly? Youve been mistreated by enough men to land you in the psychward.
But Joel never yells at you, he never breaks things when hes angry or threatens to hurt you. He might raise his voice every now and again, but its never because of something you did. Sometimes the stress of life is just too much.
He works hard, he loves his daughter- daughters- and he would do anything to keep you happy. Whatever you say goes, he says. Even now, you hardly argue. Of course you have disagreements, or off days thatd lead to one of you being especially moody, but the both of you do your best to communicate.
Behind that rough exterior, is someone who just wants to be needed.
You first met Joel at a youth center you volunteered at, he taught guitar, you taught arts and crafts. Joel says it was your smile and sense of humor that charmed him. It was his singing and southern accent for you.
Your favorite thing about Joel is how soft he gets around you. He says its because you make it easy to be soft.
Joel was a shy lover at first. He would get nervous just kissing you, or holding your hand. While most people become intimate very early on in their relationship, you and Joel didnt do anything sexual for the first five months of you dated. Sure, you almost did, plenty of times, but he would get so overwhelmed and cut things short. You broke two of your vibrators during this era of your relationship. Embarassing.
You remember your first time very vividly. Joel had worked back to back doubles trying to meet a deadline, and on the final day, after having barely spoken to you for almost a week, you had shown up to his house, unannounced. You were wringing water out of your jacket when he swung the door open.
“How-” Joel blinks a few times, stepping forward to examine the rainfall. “How long you been out here?”
“Not that long,” You lie and pick up the container you brought off the porch chair. Part of you had a hard time mustering up the courage to even knock on the door. Droplets of water cascade down your chin. “Hi, sorry. I know youre tired.”
He shakes his head, voice soft and warm. “S’fine. Now c’mon, youre gonna get sick.”
Youre seated at the little dining table next to the kitchen now, trying to let the sound of the rainfall ease your nerves.
Joel was quick to grab you a towel, and does the honors of drying your face and hair with it. “Why didnt you jus’ call me? Woulda gotten out of the shower faster if i knew you were gettin’ soaked out there like this.”
“I dunno, sorry.”
“An’ whatd i tell you about apologizin’ all the time?”
“Sor- Uh. Right. Okay.” You tighten your jaw. No more.
Joel moves behind you, now squeezing water out the ends of your hair. “Whas’ that?”
“Oh!-” You peel back the lid, showing it to him. “Old fashion cake donuts are your favorite right? I remember you saying you liked eating them with your coffee in the mornings so…I made these. Youve been working a lot lately and I wanted to do something nice for you.”
Joel gingerly grasps the container from your hands, looking into it. Theyre a warm golden brown, outside evenly fried, and the sweet scent of them hits his nose right away.
“I was just gonna leave them on the doorstep and call you to tell you they were there, but I wanted to see you.”
His adam's apple bobs as he swallows the dryness in his throat. Youre too good for him.
“Thank you very much.” He presses a kiss to your damp hair. “Now, lets get you into some dry clothes.”
Joel gives you a t-shirt and a pair of his boxers to keep you modest while your clothes wash and dry.
You wait patiently on his bed for the hot chocolate he promised you before you showered. Theres nothing to watch on the tv, so you just turn it off and reach for the lamp on his nightstand instead.
He comes in quietly, and sets the mug down beside the lamp. You finally come into focus, clear as day even under the low lighting.
“You uh.. You look nice.”
You blink. “I look nice?”
“In my shirt.”
That gets a smile out of you.
Joel tips his head towards the mug. “S’hot so, give it a few minutes. Dont want you burnin’ your mouth.”
You nod. “Okay.”
Hes sat beside you now and the two of you sit in silence for a while. Its not awkward, just the kind of silence where both of you want to say something but just.. Cant.
Joel unravels first. “Missed you, y’know. Just been tired.”
“I know.” Your voice wobbles, and Joels jaw tightens like hearing you sound so sad stings him. “I missed you, too.”
He slides his hand over yours, giving it a squeeze. Its okay.
“Hey Joel...Can I stay the night?”
“Sure. Id really like that.”
While you drink your hot chocolate, you and Joel catch up. You both talk about work, and about your new found interest in baking. Joel teases you about your lack of cooking skills, you do the same. Youre both useless.
When its time to climb into bed, neither of you can actually fall asleep. Joel rolls onto his side, away from you and the window. You follow, curling up like a little cat against his back. The sensation is nice for the both of you.
You speak up after a little while.
“Joel?”
“Mm.”
“Thank you for letting me stay.”
He scoffs, voice thick with exhaustion. “Like I'd force you to leave after you brought me such a nice present.”
You let out a little giggle, “So if i didnt, youd kick me out?”
“Id think ‘bout it.”
You gasp, gently shoving at his back. “Thats mean…!”
“S’really not.”
“Oh yeah? And what if I poisoned them?.”
“Then itd jus' be a regular day of your cookin’ then.” Joel reminds you, lighthearted. Too many times where you left the shells in your eggs or burnt toast or left the bacon on the pan for too long.
“You cant get mad at me for my dark past when you made a perfectly good sirloin taste like horse leather.”
“Ugh. Dont remind me. That was like putting a one-hundred dollar bill into a paper shredder. How do either of us stay alive again?”
“Uh. Digiorno?”
“Digiorno.”
After a few moments, Joels rolling over again, and hes guiding your head to settle against his chest. Your arms wrap around him, and his arms around you.
“Joel,” You whisper. He hums. “Im cold.”
“S’cause youre not wearin’ any pants.”
“And whos fault is that?”
“Still yours.”
“I was left out in the rain like a sad, sopping wet cat. One that was left in a box all alone with no family…” You pretend to sniffle. “Dont you feel bad for me?”
Joel sighs, not saying anything more except making sure the part of the comforter behind your back is tucked into your side so the cold air doesnt get in. When hes done, you do a little shimmy up his body, and throw your leg over his hip. Oh no.
Hes alert now. Very alert. Be normal. Joel hesitates, licking the dryness off his lips. “Uh. Feel better?”
“Mhm.” You push your face into his throat, cat-like, before settling down again. Hes like a radiator.
Actually scratch that, he cant be normal.
“Darlin’.” He rasps, patting your back to get your attention.
“Mm?”
“Your leg. Move it.”
A few beats pass. “Why?”
“Because…” Wow, he didnt think hed get this far. You shift forward and Joel lets out a quiet exhale through his nose, one that couldve been masked by the rain if you werent so close.
“Are you-”
“No! No. Its- Its not what you think-” He cant see your face in the darkness but he knows you feel the semi-hard struggling through the confines of his pants. Lame.
“Joel,” You say, soft. Your hands slide up his arm to cradle his jaw. Lightning flashes into the room, giving you a glimpse of Joels tight expression. He whispers your name back, just as soft.
“This is normal.”
Its normal, it is! Except for the fact that you guys havent had sex yet. The stress of being intimate is too much, kills his boner in a blink. The longer he waits the worse the anxiety gets.
“I-I know.”
You place a hand on his chest, feeling it pound away like crazy through all the soft muscle.
“Youve been taking your medication, right?”
Has he?
The silence of him thinking is proof enough. “Joel-”
He sighs, rubbing his eyes through the darkness .“I know, I know. Shoot, Im sorry. I just forget sometimes.”
“Its okay.” The pad of your thumb strokes the tops of his cheek, and you press a tender kiss to his mouth to soothe him. “...Want me to remind you?”
The softness of your lips has him a bit dazed. “Huh?”
“I said, do you want me to remind you? I can- You know, call you before you leave work. Make sure you take them.”
“You know I wake up at five-o-clock in the mornin’ , right?”
“I know.”
In a whisper, “Okay.”
Joels rough palms trail down your back and stop at the curve of your butt, finger tips delicately tracing the skin above your shorts. You shiver.
Barely above a whisper. “We dont have to go all the way.”
He says your name again, laced with worry. He doesnt want you to feel pressured.
You pull your leg off his hip and push yourself up, settling your hands on either side of Joels head.
“Can I tell you something?”
“Yes-”
“-And you cant get all in your head about it. You stay here, with me. You stay present.”
“Okay, okay.” He nods, a bit defeated. “I will stay present.”
“When you...When you say you dont wanna have sex, what is it that youre thinking exactly? I know you said you just get really nervous but I feel like youre not being totally honest.”
Joel stays quiet, idly rubbing your sides. Maybe you are a cat. Just getting to feel any part of you is soothing. “I jus’ want you to feel good. ‘Fraid ill do somethin’ you dont like.”
“You cant assume how I feel, Joel. Being intimate.. It takes time to learn what the other person likes.”
He sighs. “I know.” Youre always right.
Adding on, “Like I said, we dont have to go all the way,” You lean further back, situating yourself on his hips. He lets out a shaky breath when he feels the pressure of your ass through his sweats.
“But, I want to start somewhere. I want to feel you.”
“Fuck- Um-” Hes shaking now, letting you grind your hips down onto him. Joel cant seem to control the way his hips instinctively push up to meet yours. Youre both becoming of a mess of little gasps and hot breaths and tiny whimpers already.
You hunch forward, guiding his hand under your your shirt- His shirt- letting him feel up the supple skin of your stomach, then the area where your ribs are, then your-
“And I want you to feel me,”
Surprisingly, you did actually go all the way that night.
Your sex life was a bit of a rocky start, but after Joel got over most of his anxiety, you learned quickly just how goddamn insatiable he was. Five years in and he still regularly makes you sore.
There are a couple things you learned about him and his sexual interests. He loves to take you in his truck, in your kitchen, in your bathroom, on your couch. Other, riskier places. Anywhere that isnt your bed apparently, not that he isnt fucking you there either.
Joel is handsy, so handsy infact it embarasses you to no end, especially when youre infront of others. Thats usually how it starts, too. First he kisses you, then gropes your hips and your ass, and the next thing you know, youre cumming on his fingers. Then hed bend you over, or get you on your back, or make you ride him. Is it really riding if hes just slamming up into you until your brain turns into mush?
He likes that too. Making you not think.
Youd be lying if you said its only ever him. Sleepy morning handjobs before work, whining to him over the phone and touching yourself to his voice, arching your back into him while you're washing dishes, sucking him off after hours in his office.
And while most men prefer lingerie or little costumes, Joel likes dresses. Dresses that are discreet so he can take you in the backyard when he comes home early and sees you gardening. Or when youre both at a friends house and hes had a little too much to drink and finds himself alone with you. Dresses that make it easy to play his favorite game with you. I touch you, and you make sure we dont get caught by being too loud. Joel really is the worst sometimes.
Now, you only ever wear pants when its cold, or to bed or sometimes when youre lounging, like today. Youre in some shorts and a tank top. Otherwise, its dresses all year round, usually retro styles or ones meant for spring. Joels not picky though, he loves any dress on you.
Even if you wear an extremely modest, white lacey sleep dress, looking like some kind of vintage ghost, the man would still keep you up all night. And he has. He said you looked like a princess. You guess you kind of did.
The entire thing is like an unspoken arrangement between you both. He doesnt tell you to wear them, you just do.
And he works hard to spoil you, so why not buy as many cute dresses as possible?
You got a cute dress today too, on the same day Joel has off. You think its going to be a new favorite of his.
The big polymailer stays hidden behind your back. Be casual. “Uh- Nothing!”
“Nothin’?”
“Mhm.”
“Whats behind your back then?”
You sway in place, trying to suppress a knowing smile. “I dont have anything behind my back.”
“Lemme see then. Show me your hands-”
“Hey, Mrs. Miller!”
Both you and Joel turn your heads to the voice, and only one of you has the energy to fake a a smile. Your neighbor is stopping in his driveway, having come back from a jog it looks.
“Hi, Lee.”
Joel really, really, really doesnt like Lee. You dont like him either, but youre not one to cause problems. Lee on the other hand, is. Hes a bit younger than you, and a lot younger than Joel. Hes one of those tech dudes with a massive ego, thinks that youll be swayed by his money and his “charm” and youth as if youre some sad housewife in need of saving. Gross.
And another thing, Lee doesnt even actually live here! Hes here ever so often to visit his dad between, you dont know, tech expos? You forget. Joel believes he started showing up more often to see you.
Youre walking towards the porch again. Joels looking especially unhappy to see him today, knuckles pulled taut into a fist. His lips stay pressed into a thin line, careful not to let anything slip out. He usually lets you do most of the talking, as much as it pains him.
Joels really not a fan of the way Lees eyes take a trip up your bare legs. Little shit.
“Out with no shoes again, Mrs. Miller?”
“You know me, Im uh- Im weird.”
“The weird ones do it best.” He smiles, all teeth. It gives you the creeps. His attention is on Joel now. Its like watching a puppy try to one up a wolf. “Right, Joel?”
“Uh huh.” Whatever that means.
“Actually, I've been meaning to ask you something, Mrs. Miller.” Lee crosses into your driveway and you glance briefly at Joel, as if to make sure he isnt going to start growling at the other to stay away. Youre clutching the package to your chest now.
“Have you ever been to a support group for uh- you know, the spouses of addicts? I have a friend from work and shes really struggling.”
Lees tone is sugary sweet, but the fake kind you put in diet soda except that stuff is way better. Joel sighs from the door. You stand there, dumbfounded on the porch steps because what the fuck is he going on about.
You clear your throat, keeping your voice firm. “No. Ive never needed to.”
Joels voice cuts in like a knife. “Been clean for almost twenty years now.”
“Yeah but, you know,” He shrugs, squinting a bit under the morning sun. “Relapses happen.”
Joel and Lee are at a stand still, and the moment Joel lets the arm leaning on the frame drop to his side, you know youre in for a lot of trouble. You move quickly towards the door. “We have to get ready for a- uh- a thing? but Im sorry about your friend.”
“Thank you, Mrs. Miller. Im doing my best to support her.” And before he turns away, he just has to be slimy to you. “If you need someone to talk to, Im here for you.”
“No, that really wont be necess-”
Joels slinging a strong arm around you to yank you back inside before shutting the door.
“Motherfucker,” He hisses to himself, stomping through the walkway and into the kitchen.
“How-” You rub your eyes, letting them adjust to the light inside of the house. You put the package down onto the bar counter that opens up the kitchen and follow Joel to the fridge. “How does he know?? I thought-”
“Been living in this house for decades now,” His expression is tight, brows knitted together while he chugs a bottle of water. “People talk. ‘Specially if I'm being rolled into an ambulance on more than one occasion.” Joel frowns. “Fuck- I shoulda punched him in the fuckin’ face- Do you see how hard he tries so hard to flirt with you infront’a me?”
“I know, love. I was there.” You take the bottle from his hand and set it to the side, then wrap your arms around him. “Try not to let it get to you okay?”
Joel sighs into your hair, giving your body a squeeze. “I know, I know, but jus’ hearin’ him tryin’ta use my baggage to make a pass at you…S’fuckin’ evil.”
“I agree, but I dont want his blood on the driveway.”
“So get it on his driveway instead, got it.”
You giggle and tip your head up to kiss him. The tension eases from Joels shoulders, and he cups your cheeks, letting his worries melt away into your mouth. When the pads of his fingers start to slide under your tank top, youre leaning back. Youll be here for a while if this goes any further.
Joel mindlessly chases your lips, looking a bit pouty now that its over.
“Im gonna start getting ready for the barbecue, okay?”
“This early?”
“I like being punctual.”
“My brother wont give a damn if were late.” He noses your jaw, pressing a kiss here and there. Your knees are beginning to feel weak. The bastard is trying to distract you.
“But I do. The farmers market opened today, and I promised Maria I'd get her fresh strawberries before we got there, remember?”
“Alright, alright.” He grumbles into your shoulder.
Joel lets you go, watching you round the bar counter to get your package and disappear upstairs.
-
Ever since you came down to a freshly showered Joel, and got into the car with the gift bags you prepared for Maria and Tommy, Hes been staring at you. One wrong move and the drools gonna start pouring out of his mouth.
Your hair is in its relatively natural state, freshly washed and shiny from the oil you put in it. You put on some light makeup, and went a bit heavy handed on the blush to look sunkissed, and topped it off with a flavored lip gloss Joel especially enjoys.
Now, the dress. Its a pink floral mid-length dress, with a low cut sweetheart neckline and a corset style backing to cinch your waist and push out your chest. The material is thick and pretty, and there are two other layers under the skirt to keep its shape. You have on a pair of little pink pumps with little bows to match.
The drive to the farmers market is fairly peaceful, the windows are half down and theres music playing at low volume on the radio. You and Joel have different tastes in music, but one genre you can always agree on is alternative rock.
The weathers beautiful, sun high in the sky, and its not too hot or humid. The day really is perfect. Youre gonna soak up some sun when youre at the barbecue. Hopefully, they made lemonade again too.
Joel has been mostly quiet throughout your shopping. While it would worry some, youve been with him long enough to know that he just has a lot on his mind. What hes thinking about? Maybe youll learn when you make it back home at the end of the day.
You gasp, strolling through the grass to a stand with a mountain of apples. Granny smith, Macintosh, Pink Ladys, Honeycrisp, the works. He grunts, trying to keep the things that are already in your basket steady. You came for strawberries and are going to leave with much more than that.
Joel nudges you softly. “Remember, this is quality stuff, meaning itll go bad faster. Dont get too much.”
“Okay, got it.” You beam, and then begin inspecting the Pink Lady apples first, trying to find the ones with the best color. He keeps the basket within reach so you can drop your picks in.
"These were Sarahs favorites."
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah, it was funny 'cause we started arguin' over these or Red Delicious. I think Red Delicious is better."
"Thats so cute! Hmm. Should we get one for her? A Pink Lady?"
"Uh," He thinks on it for a moment, unsure, but the smile on your face helps him make a decision. "Sure, why not."
You drop two perfect Pink Ladys into the basket, moving onto the next pile.
“Hey, Joel.” You grin, holding out a wrinkled granny smith apple. “This one looks like you”
“Ha ha.” He deadpans, and grabs it from you to put back. In turn, hes reaching for the runt of the pile. A pathetically small one sitting near the bottom. “Now this one looks like you.”
“Does not!”
“Does too.”
The next stand has golden kiwis, and youre practically dragging Joel forward to try them. You ask for one, and the man at the stand slices it into halves, giving you a plastic spoon to go with.
You let Joel smell it first. “S’good.”
“Lets see if it tastes good.”
You sink your spoon into it, humming when you see how soft and easy it is to scoop out. In your mouth it goes!
Its tastes sweet, a bit mango-y and fucking delicious. You bounce in place, spoon feeding Joel next. “Oh yeah,” He smiles, smacking his lips a bit to really let the taste settle on his tongue. “Were takin’ some of these.”
You take one, then two, then three and four then five and as you reach for the sixth one, Joels stopping you with a gentle hand.
“Darlin’.”
“Right.”
For the next few stands its just you and Joel trying various kinds of fruit. Starfruit, blueberries, some mangos, and then youre going back to the truck.
“I think my favorites were the mangos and golden kiwis. I hope Maria and Tommy have enough space in their fridge for all of this.”
“They moved into a bigger house, I reckon their fridge s’probably bigger, too.”
“What time is it?”
You let go of Joels arm so he can switch the basket from one hand to the other.
“‘Bout…” Hes squinting at his watch. “12:34 in the afternoon.”
“Oh! Guess we got the shopping done sooner than I expected. Hmm. Should we stop somewhere in the mean time?-" You snap your finger when you remember something. "They opened up this cafe that has cats in it! We can drink coffee and play with them for bit! The next fourty-five minutes will go by super fast."
“Youre gonna make Cement jealous.”
You bat your hand dismissively. “Hes not gonna caaare.”
“Oh yes he will. And remind me again why we named our cat Cement?
“Uh, we were both drunk and had gotten him the day before without a name picked out?”
“A whole year later and we still kept it. Worst pet owners ever.” Joel chuckles, opening the passenger door for you like he always does.
“Thank you.”
“Mhm.”
The giant basket of fruit goes into the back seat next to the gift bags before Joel slots himself into the drivers seat.
You fumble with the radio a bit, trying to see what else is on but ultimately landing back on your preferred station. Theyve been playing a lot of Linkin Park recently. Hell yeah. Joel buckles himself in at last, and pulls out of the parking lot.
“Marias gonna teach me how to make baked chicken,” You hum, gazing outside the window.
“You sure youre not jus’ unteachable?”
“Ha ha,” You lightly shove his shoulder, making him smile. “I thought you loved the meat sauce pasta I learned how to make.”
He settles into his seat more comfortably at the stop light, elbow rested on the window. “Got me with that one. Think I like ground turkey over beef, though.”
“Yeah? Me too. The beef tastes better but the turkey is lighter. Stops me from feeling all sick.”
“Agreed.”
Youre looking out the windshield now. Where did all the buildings go? Youre out of the city.
“Uh, Joel?”
“Mm?”
“Where are we going?”
“Somewhere to kill time.”
“Yeah but where?”
“Youll see.”
Your brows pinch together. “I see a whole lot of nothing except for trees."
“Almost there.”
Joel makes a hasty left turn onto some campgrounds. Your stomach starts to twist into excited knots. Is he gonna show you a baby deer or something? Bunnies? He used to be a park ranger for this area, and would tell you stories about all sorts of baby animals hed run into.
The car comes to a stop, and he turns the engine off. Silence.
“So…Were out in the woods to kill time?”
“Mhm.” Joel unbuckles his seat belt and twists into the back to grab the spare jacket he usually keeps there, then gets out of the truck and comes around the back to open the door for you.
He holds your hand to help you get down from the passenger side, and as soon as both of your shoes hit the ground Joel is on you.
You dont know where your hands should go, youve kissed Joel a thousand times and yet you still get so flustered when he catches you by surprise. You keep your hands on his shoulders for now, letting him press wet kisses to your neck and shoulder.
“This is new right? The dress?” He gives your ass an appreciative squeeze through the fabric. “Thought you looked so pretty when you came down stairs in it.”
Your heads spinning. Something about your dress?
“Woulda been okay if you let me have you earlier.” He pulls away, examining your flushed face cradled by his hand. Every part of you just fits so well in his palms. “Then I thought, why not have you now? We got time to spare.”
“Joel- We- Someone could see us-” You sputter, and Joels already shaking his head with a knowing smirk. He pulls you around to the bed of the truck, popping it open, only pausing to spread open the jacket he grabbed, just having just thrown it in there when he came around to get you.
“No ones gonna come lookin’ for us.” He turns you around, pushing you down onto your front. “As long as youre quiet.”
Fuck. You really hate this game. At least, you like to tell yourself that.
Blood rushes to your ears while Joels rough palms lift up the skirt of your dress, exposing your ass and thighs to the cool air. He whistles from behind you.
“Red lace panties?” His fingers dont shy away from tracing along the fabric covering your cunt. “This new too?”
You crane your neck over your shoulder to look at his face. “Uh.. Surprise?”
Joels smiling now, fingers dipping under the lace. “Thas' awfully sweet of you.”
His touch slips and slides around your growing wetness, then trails down to your clit. Your voice wobbles a bit and fuck- fuck hes going too fast. “Joel- Ah-” You whimper and try to push yourself up to look at him but his hand is steady on your spine, keeping you down.
Smug, “Go on, sweetheart. Keep sayin’ my name. Jus’ like that.”
A whine escapes you when he pulls away, “Nooo.” You push your ass back, as if to entice him. You succeed, because hes skipped his usual routine of fucking you with his hands and is now unbuckling his belt.
Joel rolls you onto your back, and peels your underwear all the way off, bunching it up and shoving it into his back pocket. Your face burns just watching him.
“Think i'll hold onto these for a lil’ while.”
His hands push the back of your knees towards your chest, exposing your heat. Youll never get used to the way he just seems so interested just watching your cunt squeeze around nothing.
“Thats-” You swallow, pushing yourself up onto your elbows. "Joel.”
“Relax." He coos, "Seen it a thousand times already, and ill be seein' it a thousand more. Get used to it, honey.”
Your attention flickers down to where his dick is about to meet your entrance. Joels nudging you down onto your back again and pulling the top of your dress down to expose your chest. Its when youre distracted that he actually moves to push himself in.
Both of you groan together, and Joel could never get bored of fucking you, not when your cunt just pulses around him everytime hes inside you.
Joel wastes no time fucking you once he eases all the way inside. Youre trying your best to keep quiet. Shit is no easy task. Its like Joel is trying to get you guys arrested.
He props himself up with a hand near your head, and lets the other keep one of your legs pinned open. The moans start to claw out of your throat. “Joel- Joel-”
“Shh. Thas’ enough.” He growls through his teeth, fucking you harder. “Youre gonna- Gh- Get us caught-”
Something rustles between the trees, making you both freeze. You clasp your hands over your mouth, watching Joel straighten up to look around.
After a few seconds of squinting, Joel can see a few foxes moving about through the trees. Thank fuck. His shoulders visibly relax.
Hushed, “E-Everything okay?”
“Yeah, jus’ some animals.”
And like that, hes back to it. His dick is going to make your eyes permanently stay rolled into your head.
Joel is always just so handsome when hes pounding into you. His forehead gets shiny with sweat, and his jaw is tight from clenching his teeth, keeping himself quiet so he can focus on your moans. His face is noticeably redder against his usual farmers tan too. Really, hes just so attractive.
A flurry of yes and harder and fuck spills out of your mouth and into your palms. Not too loud, you try to remind yourself.
“Joel- S’too much-”
“Nah, thas’ not it.” He huffs, humorous. “You can take it. Y'always do. In fact, you love gettin’ your cunt bullied by me, aint that right?” As if to get his point across, he thrust in all the way to the hilt, making you keen. You forgot how to breathe, lungs drawing tight in your chest.
"Fuck," You manage to squeeze out.
Your palms push weakly at his shoulders, trying to ground yourself somehow. His head drops to the junction of your neck and shoulder, inhaling deeply.
“You good?” He checks in, breath hot on your skin. As if your crying isnt enough.
“So g-good, Joel- Fuck- Youre so good.”
With a little nod, Joels pushing himself up, switching to slow and deep strokes, really digging himself into you, and trying to find that spot he likes to call home.
He massages your chest, then squeezes your sides and your hips and finally, his thumb finds your clit. Immediately, you jolt.
“Oh fuck-”
“Quiet.” And he says it to keep the charade going, even though his favorite thing is hearing your sobs.
His thumb rubbing incessantly against your that sweet little nub of yours. You choke, and Joels chuckling, watching the way you squirm, body not knowing whether it should lean into his touch because its too good or away because its too much.
It starts with this firey feeling under the pad of his thumb, then deep inside your stuffed cunt. Youre going to cum.
Your hands fly to your mouth again, and you get all wide eyed from the sensation. Its cute. Your muscles pull taut, legs locking around Joels hips. Youre wailing into your palm when it happens.
“Good girl,” His voice soothes you through it. “Very good.”
He pets away the fly aways sticking to your sweaty face when its over. Your eyes drop shut while you catch your breath.
Joels moving again now. He rolls his hips a few times, and thumb is building the foundation of another orgasm in you. Youre shaking badly.
Your words slur too, “Cant- Too soon- Joel- Joel-”
“Another one.” Joel says firmly, but breathless.
Youre gasping, not sure where to focus your eyes. The trees around you look like theyre spinning. Your attention is back on Joel, whos looking rather satisfied watching you squirm and cry. If thats how wants to play, then fine.
Your hands slide up Joels biceps, and rests on the nap of his neck to bring him down. “Juh-Joel,” You pant, cradling his face with both hands. “Youre so good- The best-”
Oh, Joel likes that one, you can tell by the way he looks away briefly. Shyness. Excitement runs up your spine. Joel loves being told hes doing well.
“You are- Nghh-” You swallow the drool in your mouth, trying to get the words out clearly. “The best husband I could ever ask for.”
Joel wheezes, head dropping into the curve of your shoulder. “Please.”
“S’true,” You nod rapidly, fingers curling into his hair. “Youre so good to me and-and youre mine and- Joel- Im yours.”
“Jesus-” He groans, soaking up the feeling of you pressing kisses to his face and up his jaw.
“Hhah- No one else can have me, okay? No one- Not even-”
The name doesnt even come out of your mouth before Joels coming to a stop to slip his arms all the way around your middle. With the new leverage he has on your body, hes drilling his way into you. You fucking squeal, rules now long forgotten. Youre a useless ragdoll in his arms and he wouldnt have it any other way.
Your lips are shiny with spit and left over lip gloss, and he can still taste the mintiness in his tongue. Every now and again your eyes drop shut, but his dick just punches into your guts a little harder. Look at me.
Your brain is mush, just the way he likes it, and youre perfectly pliant in his arms, babbling over how good you feel. Hes kisses along the valley of your breasts now, stopping to suck the flesh of your nipples.
Youre just so pretty. Even when you have bedhead, or youre snotty from a cold, or youre all dirty from working in the garden youre still so pretty. Including now, all sweaty with you lipgloss all smudged and your mascara starting to run. Youre perfect.
Joel grunts loud, jaw clenched tight as he gets lost in the feeling of your insides. His perfect little wife.
When he cums, hes doubling over with a loud grunt, getting a few last thrusts in before his spent floods your cunt.
Youre blinking away your tears, now watching the clouds inch along the sky. It really is a beautiful day. You pet Joels sweaty hair, and kiss the side of his temple. Your core throbs faintly. Jesus, he did a number on you.
“Love,” You say softly, patting his back.
“Mm?”
“Get up.” Another pat. “Youre squishing me.”
Joel backs off to buckle himself up, but you stay seated to catch your breath and adjust your dress. At least it didnt get ripped during all the… Commotion. Not like last time.
“I need my underwear back.”
“Nope,”
“Joel.”
He kisses the center of your forehead and helps you down from the bed and into the passenger seat instead. “Told you i'm keepin’ ‘em.”
You sputter, “I cant go to barbecue commando!”
“Sure you can.” He pops open the glove compartment and gets out some tissues, hand snaking under your dress again to clean you. You sigh softly at the sensation.
“Youre the worst.”
“I am indeed the worst.” Joel pulls the seatbelt over your chest and clicks it in. “You can tell me all about it on the way to Tommys.”
#joel miller#the last of us#hbo joel miller#the last of us part 1#the last of us season one#tlou#joel miller x reader#joel x reader#joel miller x you#fanfic#mocha writes#joel miller fanfic#pedro pascal#modern au#smut fic#might cross post to ao3 idk...#pleeaaaase tell me if u guys like this#glaze me glaze me glaze me#Lie 2 me and say u love it...
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This is my personal crossover event of the century
#one of my favorite actors and one of my favorite drivers interacting??? what???#alright whos gonna be the brave soldier and write the matt damon × mark webber rpf fic-#(i read a fic w james bond/seb so imo it really wouldnt be too far off to write Linus Caldwell/Mark LMAO)#ive known abt this event practically since i got into f1 but i feel like my thoughts abt it keep developing every time i look at them again#first time: huh okay wow brad pitt & matt damon taking w mark thats really wild. f1 drivers really do be meeting w high level celebs#after i watched fight club: wow wow!! i cant believe theres pics of brad pitt with mark thats crazy!#after i watched oceans 11: omg wait oh yeah! when mark was in jaguar he was sponsored by oceans 12!!! thats sick!!!#and then recently w my increasing love for Matt Damon: WAIT OH MY GOD MARK HAS INTERACTED WITH MATT!!!! (two worlds colliding feel ig)#but i was watching some interview w matt where they referenced this happening so its relevant in my brain again so i had to post abt it#but of course in the vid the specific pic on screen was him and mark interacting and i died. like seriously i can never escape f1 and mark#mostly im freaking out bcs its truly the crossover event of all time concerning my interests specifically#but the lore behind this is genuinely really really interesting#the fact that theyre promoting a heist movie specifically and then they put a $300k diamond in the nose of the Jaguar#and then the Jaguar crashed during the race and the diamond disappeared?????? cmon literally itself could be the plot to an Oceans movie#RBR/teams sponsored by RB were so much fun back in the day!!#they had several back to back movie promotions which all were pretty fun! just a shame neither team was good back then#it was Oceans 12->SW:ROTS->Superman right? i can't remember if there was another#such a shame that neither mark nor seb were in RBR in 2005 when RBR was promoting ROTS#i think i actually wouldve exploded if there were pics of them w hayden or ewan(my prev fandom haha)#f1#formula 1#formula one#mark webber#matt damon
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something I need to share with you guys..its been on my mind for months ..I HAD WH O’’C BUT NEVER SHARE IT AND NOW IM DONE WITH IT SO :>
Meet.. BUDDY MONKEY!
Do you feel like your pocket got empty a bit? You want adventures and do silly pranks? BUDDY MONKEY ITS JUST FOR YOU!
So the story is buddy monkey is a character show on the summer episodes and whenever there is adventures and danger! He’s a pirate lives in a ship and he always like to find shiny stuff and treasure! he will treat you like as your big brother! He like to be sneaky and if you find your wallet missing you won’t be surprised it’s from him but dw he will return it to you (eventually) he like to do silly pranks and make others smile (but remember! He will never go far with his pranks or do on. People that are more sensitive) he is a gentleman and good “mama’s boy you can say!
some stuff they never knew: where he came from who was his family or his real name and if you look closely at the episodes at first he was ok with wally darling but with the time you can see he barely talk to him...something is off ..BUT ANYWAY LETS CONTINUE!
Ship design
More lore to know yes he do have a rare bird..the story behind it he say like this:
buddy moneky: I find the bird when I travel to a land full of birds that was going to be doomed or destroyed when I got there and I saw all the creatures panic and the birds flew off but i hear someone was in danger I run and cut the trees with my swords to make my path easier and found a majestic unknown bird..not from this world look like and was injured on the wing then I look up saw a tree will fell on them I immediately grab the bird and go to the ship Idk what happend there ..but right when I was on the ship looking behind me ...the land got destroyed.
monkey buddy took her as his new travel partner he realize it’s a female bird called her “dimly diamond” Bc the moment the sun hit her feathers they shine like 1000 of diamonds
(The design)
dimly diamond is a rare bird and may be the last one..they can live many years and buddy monkey like to spoil her with jewels and everything she needs so this bird very close to him and will protect him in any danger!
Now Bc I like to spoil my fav artists so..here ya go!
(@cloudy-dreams,@sketchquill,@sketchy-tour,@xx-sketchy-xx,@qep0ermint)
WAIT THERES HUMAN VERSION TOO!?
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *ahem* excuse me ☝️
(Damn it’s been long time I did anime guys-)
Hope you all enjoy I had this character for idk..2-3 months or more lol
Forgot to mention he can stretch his body very long!
#my art#welcome home#art#fanart#welcome home au#Buddy monkey!#buddy monkey WH#buddy monkey welcome home#Ms honee#vince vineyard#original oc#WH o”c
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Well now that you made it MLB I have to chant this, LOVE SQUARE LOVE SQUARE LOVE SQUARE. You know, for the extra brain rot. The fun dynamic of getting to draw two idiots pining and blushing around their crush in different scenarios without ever knowing.
ur so real for that anon, i won't lie, the love square is the main thing that got me HOOKED into MLB LMAOO so yea have it for sure that theres a love square here, and it takes the same direction as the series, although their dynamics are a lil bit different from it: made this chart to explain it better LOL
Down here is a bit of story about how they crushed on each other ir you are interested:
(im sorry for the amount of rambling that ur about to read here)
dogday crushed on catnap the day they met, nap joined the same hs dogday was in as a new student and dogday recognized him as this famous and rich engineer's (prototype cof cof) son, said son was well known to be the face of said engineer's company, and also was an insanely gifted and smart teenager. Well, another one of his atributes, although shadowed by his brain, was his very handsome and elegant appearance, so lets just say he was VERY attractive to dogday, and that made him interested, but it wasnt a full crush, yet.
Later on the day they both stayed late at hs for different reasons (long story short, dogday was on a club, catnap was finishing his admission process) and came out of it at the same time, catnap was waiting for someone to pick him up and dogday took it as oportunity to talk to him, cause catnaps cold robot-like personality was characteristic of him, but he wondered what his actual personality was like, so it's worth the try!
He went over to him and engaged into conversation, during this talk they realized they were unintentionally matching necklaces and well, that made them become friends easily, after this they became really good friends as they, although didn't have a lot in common, understood each other very well, and well after actually talking to him dogday developed a very big fat crush on catnap as he got to know he was actually really sweet when talking to a friend. From there on they became really really close, eventually they became best friends and dogdays crush on catnap got bigger the more he got to know him.
As for catnap, dogday was his first friend ever, all his life he was homeschooled because of his father wanting a child as smart as him that could inherit his company, and therefore never got to make any friends as he got basically forced to became insanely smart, he got sent to highschool because his father realized that his child didn't have any good social skills (not that his father considered that important, but he wanted his successor to be able to be a leader and without social skills thats impossible lol) and therefore sent him to study people lol.
When dogday came to him and they became friends he became very attached to him emotionally (sadly not in a romantic way) and therefore became best friends.
Now going into them as heroes! (If you read all the way here, I'm sorry for this amount of lore)
im going to refer to them as BC Catnap and LB dogday as i still dont know what their hero names should be lol (BC for black cat and LB for ladybug)
BC Catnap's crush on LB dogday is very much the same as the og chat noir and ladybug dynamic, but in this case BC Catnap crushed WAY harder than chat noir, to not make this post any longer, basically BC Catnap liked LB dogday on their first mission, he became attracted to the way LB dogday's hability as hero was, he admired him very much and that admiration evolved into romance bc at one point on their first mission, BC catnap got into a pretty dangerous situation and LB dogday saved him risking his own life, and after the mission was done LB dogday was pretty concerned for his well-being and handled him very carefully, and well, in poor catnaps life no one had cared for him that much before, so he fell for LB dogday's soft caring personality + the admiration he had for him before, he basically became LB dogday's N1 fanboy lmao.
From there on he became very flirty with LB dogday (the plagg effect strikes again, making his holders become sassier and flirtier) and he was very obvious with his feelings, LB dogday found the constant flirting annoying and therefore only considers BC catnap his work buddy cause he finds him way too annoying to be his friend, although with time they do became closer, and they start telling each other a bit about their personal lives without revealing their identities (Ex: LB dogday telling BC catnap about how hes crushed with his best friend ever since they met but although he pursues him romantically he doesn't want to push anything so he doesnt ruin their friendship, no, BC catnap doesnt mind that LB dogday is crushed on someone else, for him LB dogday is the crush he will love with all his heart no matter what bc he alr knows his feelings arent reciprocated, and hes alr with that but he keeps the flirting cause thats how he likes to be with his crush lol)
theres a lot more to this but this post is already REALLY LONG so i'll just keep till here
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"you are just as guilty" ⚔️🥀
last cough of art before the update ahkdhkshsksh AAAAAAAAAAA i dont wanna leave Briar Valley yet 😩😩😩😩 Lilia don't gatekeep all the lore,,, dang it,,,💔💔💔💔
sometimes i really do wonder what Meleanor or Dawn's last thoughts before dying..... ESPECIALLY Dawn... Bro rarely has the chances to express his individuality, he's so tragic to be with the Silver Owls sm.. 😭who suppresses all opinions as seen with their soldier garments (all of them basically have the same motifs and design) in contrast,.. Meleanor's army has differently designed mask to highlight the unique faes they are--
I have this thought that like Silver, he cries about the sins of his nation as well... 😭I think he has regrets that he made Meleanor overblot and blames himself for it 😭 (Like how Silver was the last straw to make Malleus overblot-)
I think its a common interpretation that Dawn is heroic, but I don't think of him that way KSJSKS, not because he's not a hero, but because he's a failed one. In the story, it felt like he was "just a person". He's not perfect, he's flawed.
And, I think the existence of "failed heroes" like Dawn is really intriguing in TWST,,,, because the heroic characters here are depicted as "never failing at anything". Like how RSA characters are. They never lose at anything, but ironically the character most inspired by this school (RSA) failed at "being a good hero."
I'm interpreting he failed because he couldn't make his mission come true; peace between fae and humans, in fact he might have worsened it with the passing of Meleanor 😭😭💔💔
The most tragic thing of all his life, was probably the part where he died, not because of the faes, but of his own fellow countrymen... I imagine in this image, what did he even kill Meleanor for? He couldn't make any peace between faes and humans, he couldn't save his country, we're not even sure if he did use Meleanor's magical stone to save the Human King and if he was successful with it, so if he has failed at everything he aspired to achieve, then what else is the point to all the bloodshed he has faced and committed?
In a way, his "punishment" is similar to Rollo's, celebrated by the achievement he didn't want to commit (except its the good guy this time adskjs)
(Thats why I'm sold at the idea of Dawn just giving up fighting at his death bcs theres no way if he did actually had the motivation to fight, he'd lose against fellow humans when he fought Meleanor on solo akhdkhs... unless they reveal how he died as well next update---🙏🏻✨😳/copium)
In a way, its similar to Silver's disappointment too, that he worked all his life to make Lilia proud, to make sure that faes like his Father can be understood better, only for Lilia to leave him all alone yk... 🥹
But on the other side, I don't think he failed too much... because of his losses, Silver was brought to Lilia 🥹🥹
I feel like Lilia will relate to Dawn as well,,, He said in the story that he sympathized with Dawn because he spared tamago Malleus, but I beg to differ.
I think its actually because like Dawn, Lilia is also a knight who failed at everything he aspired to commit to (he took so long to hatch the egg and he failed to protect Meleanor and keep his promise with Levan that he'll take care of his wife and son-) so at that realization, Lilia probably sees that there's no reason to hate him, they had the same fate, so why would he hate his child as well?
He's not living anymore but I think Lilia could see that Dawn probably awaited for centuries to wake his son up from sleep,,, like how Lilia desperately waited and wished that something would hatch Malleus already 😭😭💔💔
JUST... KNIGHT OF DAWN I'LL REMEMBER YOU FOREVER SKDJSK 😭😭😭😭🫂🫂🫂
#twst#twisted wonderland#disney twisted wonderland#twistedwonderland#lian notes#disney twst#twst knight of dawn#knight of dawn#twst book 7#meleanor draconia#art#twst silver#twst art#twst diasomnia#twst theory#twst analysis#twst jp#twst fanart#lian arts#twisted wonderland fanart#artists on tumblr#artwork#drawing#illustration#LESS THAN 20MINS OF SCREENTIME AND IM ILL ABOUT HIM WFYDGJWHKD#this is what listening to “welcome to the black parade” while thinking about knight of dawn does to a mf
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shadow of the erdtree spoilers under the cut. some inch resting parallels between the poster children.
so ive been digesting the dlc lore for a bit and theres plenty of similarities between malenia and messmer. to start off with some visual parallels:
while the younger sister mentioned in the description of messmers kindling is obviously the #1 arsonist melina, there are so many story parallels between him and malenia (which pairs up nicely with how marika and miquella are also similar).
cursed by something far bigger and older than themselves, given an item that seals away that which causes them eternal suffering and will turn them into something other, utterly devoted to their god (or god-to-be) family member, rejecting the power of their birthright until they are too desperate, breaking the seal that kept their curses at bay...
they are also the only(?) demigods referred to in the future tense:
"With the third bloom, she will become a true goddess." - scarlet aeonia. "They will accompany him yet, in his hideous new form born when he destroyed the grace granted by his mother." - messmers helm.
theres also some parallels between their knights:
sacred phalanx (used by the cleanrot knights) and messmers assault (not used by fire knights, just messmer, but i thought it was interesting that they look so similar).
"The Cleanrot Knights vowed to fight alongside Malenia, despite the inevitable, if gradual, putrefaction of their flesh." - cleanrot set.
"Each and every knight hailed from a renowned family of the Erdtree's upper echelons, but were shunned and chased from their homes after pledging allegiance to Messmer as their master." - fire knight helm.
"These were the only ones who truly knew Messmer. His flames, like serpents. The painful fate that accompanied his accursed form." - fire knight armor.
they inspired great loyalty in their personal armies despite the fact that pledging allegiance to them would result in tragic consequences (rotting alive or never returning home). people liked them enough to be ready to live and die for their causes.
theres something about how both of them unleashed horrors upon those they were ordered to kill. messmer burning the hornsent to ashes and malenia inflicting scarlet rot on caelid. both waiting eternally for their family to return after they have completed their tasks, announcing their purpose over and over. that messmer shall purge the graceless, that malenia is miquellas loyal blade. but messmer is jaded and has grown to resent marika, while malenia is still full of conviction and firmly believes miquella will return.
messmer curses marika, malenia apologises to miquella.
much to consider...
#elden ring#shadow of the erdtree#er spoilers#sote spoilers#flashing#gif#messmer the impaler#malenia blade of miquella#things are NOT looking good. theyre looking quite bad actually
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