#theres actually nothing daring about them theyre pretty basic but

[inamagicalhallucination]

atsushi: ryuu :(

akutagawa: what

atsushi: have u seen my shirt? my favorite one? i cant find it - my jackets gone too

akutagawa, wrapped tightly in a blanket: why would i know

atsushi: i mean u borrow them every now and then-

akutagawa: i've done no such thing

atsushi:

akutagawa:

atsushi: ryuu take off the blanket

akutagawa: no

[irkenheretic]

ok fella, go off on your au and talk about red’s video game and why it’s important to his character arc but also try to stay out of spoiler land. Also as a bonus + describe red’s role in that au with a vine

ok so a schimillion years ago a videogame called anarchisma was released and completely redefined an entire genre and nothing was ever the same again

ok let me explain a little more

a genre of irken videogame is the "rebel sim." basically a game that has a very anti-empire slant to it, ranging from surface-level critiques to extremely controversial ideas in it. it doesnt have to be a simulation game (the genre of "rebel sim" predates the lifesim, an extremely immersive VR game with time-dilation properties so it feels like youre experiencing years of gameplay in real-time, but in reality its been an hour) but thats just what theyre called

to this day, many popular rebelsims (especially those released by established companies and not indie devs) play their stories extremely safe, diluting the genre from a true expression of anarchism to a sort-of vent about the little frustrations of irken life, without an actual rallying cry or call to action or really anything daring about them. back when anarchisma came out, this was mainly seen via the stories being very surface-level and safe, picking a couple scattered issues and not really exploring them other than going "hey.... did you know.... that x thing.... is bad?" (i.e. a short scientist being brushed aside despite their skillset and the fact that they meet the height requirements for their job, as opposed to stating that height requirements for prestigious jobs shouldnt exist at all.)

enter anarchisma. at first you play as a lil' dude named myx, a short engineer. he has a friend named thirteen-13 that follows him around, and myx as a protagonist goes thru the game in a very "safe" way, following the conventions of your period-typical rebelsim that acts smarter than it really is... except for one thing. he keeps referring to thirteen-13 as the "dhar bitae," an irken term meaning "all-seeing..." and the period-typical slang for the control brains

once myx's route is over and done with, you're able to play as thirteen-13. and thats where the real game starts.

thirteen-13, in the game world, is the equivalent to the control brains- he's a computer that ruled over the fictional world but was kept under strict lock and key by his technicians. every time he escaped or was deemed "too defective," a new "instance" of him was reloaded, hence the number at the end of his name. thirteen is his name, and 13 is the instance number. and oh yeah! due to a loophole where he's a computer and not an irken per se, he's actually the first canonically defective character in all irken media!

needless to say the game was pretty controversial when it came out but it also redefined the entire genre. thirteen-13's plot gave rise to the "rebel ruler" trope, a trope that is very common in rebelsims to this day but watered down beyond belief- in anarchisma it works because theres a REASON thirteeen-13 couldnt just fix everything with his vast power: the societal ills the game addresses were around long before any iteration of thirteen, and they're going to be around long after he's gone. it's a bleak game with themes of powerlessness, futility, and imprisonment in an abstract way- when your enemy is a system of ideals and not one lone person, how do you fight?

anarchisma was the first game red played as a smeet. deemed defective and cast away from everything he'd ever known, a rejected smeet only kept alive because his outpost couldn't afford to kill him, this game was red's lifeline. like i said, thirteen-13 was a revolutionary character in that he was defective and proud of it- and that was what kept red alive during all the horrible things that happened to him in his smeethood.

due to the nature of irken videogames, especially irken indie videogames, there are a lot of conspiracies surrounding it. irken videogames tend to be heavily influenced by their developer's real-life experiences, and while this is not always the case, there were some... speculations on the plot of the game and its enigmatic developer. nobody knows anything about this guy so its impossible to confirm or deny if this was pulled from real-life or if he just made all of it up, so a lot of people got obsessive with the game's messaging, and wether or not the developer was trying to tell the populace something with it.

red was one of those people.

the idea that the control brains themselves wouldn't, couldn't, didn't hate him for existing... he was young, and didn't know anything about the world. of course it appealed to him!

as he grows up, his relationship to the game itself and the theories surrounding it becomes distant. he tucks his old comms unit he got from his outpost away- the only thing old enough to play this game; it's too old to run on modern systems. he stops reading theories. he has a nightly audience with the control brains, and he never even so much as looks for evidence about the theory. is he just trying to protect himself? he insists he's not defective; does he know, deep down? does he know that the "treatments" never worked, and he's always going to be defective? is it too risky for him to attempt to find the answer? is he scared of the answer?

and if he is, which is he scared of more?

being wrong...

or being right?

[dietmountaindewb8by]

yandere!Five x delusional!reader where he had basically kidknapped reader and manipulated them into believing it was for their own good and he saved them and eventually they fall inlove with him due to 💫stockholm syndrome💫 to the point where when readers old boyfriend and his friends comes looking for reader and manage to break into fives makeshift abandoned house hes housed reader in to keep them safe. Fives attacking all these guys getting covered in theyr blood and while this is going on, reader js off to the side in shock and theyr boyfriend approaches reader and is all like,

its ok now its ok your safe now we gonna save you from this crazy guy

and readers like

no! Hes not crazy he saved me hes a good man

and her boyfriend is like

??? He kidknapped you, look youve obviously been manipulated by him just let me help you

and he holds reader behind him trying to sheild them from the carnage as five finally more or less has finished with the goons and turns to readers bf and is like,

Let them go. I dont wanna hurt anyone else tonigjt but if you dont give them back to me your gonna give me no choice

but then readers bf pulls out a gun and five relises that even by yhe time hes attempted to spacial jump, the bullet would hit him due to rhe close distance but before any of them can do anytjing, reader stabs the boyfriend in the back of the neck snd he yells out in shock, firing at five but missing and five is about to go over snd get reader but theyr just stabbing and stabbing their boyfriend over and over as he lies there pretty much dead and theyr yelling about how dare he attack five and how he would never understand how mucj five cares for them unlike the boyfriend ever did (even thougj he actually wasnt bad, five just manipulated reader to think he was) and five just stands there shocked for a minute qnd oddly quite charmed they would try and protect him like that but eventually he goes over to them and holds reader from behind as they calms down and stops stabbing but still shaking from the adrenaline and fives like

Shhhh, thats enough darling, hes dead now, he cant hurt us anymore

And he helps reader up and they hold eachother, both covered in blood standing over readers boyfriends now very dead body and reader just looks into his eyes and holds up they hand to wipe away abit of blood from his face and is like

I love you, theres nothing i wouldnt do for you, theres noone i wouldn't kill for you. I see it now, you only ever wanted to protect me.

And they kiss 💞💗💞💗💞💗💞💗 the end

holy crap that was one hell of a roller coaster and i am here for it my dude-

[oc-and-art-review-reblog]

name: wildheart specise: fire element draco-morphiad (explained below) pronouns: she/her

specise info: draco-morphiads are, basically, a specise of sexless magic cat furries. each one of them controls one of twelve elements (although two of them are special); fire (fire elements are also able to control one type of igneous rock, differing depending on the individual), water, earth, air, plant, plague, void (this void being concentrated everythingness and named for its pitch black color, there may only be one void element at a time and only two have ever been recorded), quantum strings (this has been proven to be possible, but never recorded), gemstone, metal, sound and light. draco-morphiads have a unique internal anatomy, their body cavity is filled entirely with liquid magic. this magic contains their consiousness and, when needed, forms organs to keep the draco-morphiad alive. draco-morphiads also have whats known as elemental bits, an extra part of their body made from their element or regular body part modified by it. draco eye color is also generally dictated by their element. just a draco-morphiad generation (they live tens of thousands of years) ago, they had an expansive interdimensional (this takes place in a multiverse) empire. but for reasons now lost to time, it fell. the specise took heavy casualties, although it was nowhere close to extinction. theyre rarer now, and... scattered, to say the least. their natural ability to create interdimensional portals doesnt help that. given that draco-morphiads are sexless, their native language's pronouns were dependant on element, but wildheart was raised by a sexed specise tens of thousands of years after the near extinction of the language (plus draco-morphiads were invented to explain her so i think she should get to keep her pronouns).

apperance: wildheart has brown fur, which turns abruptly black (like, theres a straight, non-gradiant divide between the back and brown) at the waist, so approximately half of her is black and half is brown . she has blood red eyes. fire element eyes are usually orange, but this is explained. she has a pair of half-crescent obsidian wings coming out of her shoulderblades, each one flanked by three floating obsidian triangles. embedded in her chest is a peice of obsidian shaped like a broken heart, and her claws are obsidian as well. she has a couple notches in each ear and a scar over her eye.

story: wildheart is born on a remote planet in a remote universe. save for her and her littermate, their parents and their older sibling squirreltail. soon after the two's birth, their parents die of reasons. unprepared to take care of them, squirreltail opens two portals to random inhabited parts of the multiverse and sends them through, hoping each will be picked up by someone responsible and more able than him.wildheart ends up being adopted by a family of goatlike skeleton monsters, where she stays for the first 13 years of her life (draco-mophiads age like humans up until about their 20th birthday). during this time she becomes incredibly close with her adopted brother, [edit with name later, i forgot it]. shortly after her 13th birthday, wildheart discovered her ability to make portals. with their parents permission, she and her brother went out to explore the multiverse a little.on their little jaunt, the two encountered a creature totally alien to them, and wildheart dared her brother to go poke it with a stick. unfortunately, the creature turned out to be a bear-esque superpreadator and ripped wildheart's brother to shreds while she watched.wildheart opened a portal to nowhere in particular, landing her at a market in the interdimensional void (my imagining of the multiverse is, like space, mostly empty. universes take the shape of enormous white orbs with the texture of frosted lightbulbs. their glow is soft, yet can be seen from light centuries away). scared to go back home, she wandered.and wildheart never stopped wandering. she quickly exanded her scope to universe hopping, trying her best to repress the memories and emotions from her brother's death.during the next eleven years, wildheart developed a routine. explore and universe hop, break gear, plunder something ancient for rare stuff, sell it at the interdimensional market, get new gear, repeat. in ancient tombs and temples, wildheart saw one thing over and over again. carvings of things that looked like her, had the same powers as her. naturally, she assumed she was the last.on the eve of her 24th birthday, wildheart was traveling through the market, looking for something special to get herself. wherever she went, the vendors all talked about one thing. the nearby combat arena had a new champion, a catlike (cats are p much a multiversal constant) calling herself reaper. knowing wildheart, many suggested she challenge her.wildheart was confident in her abilities, both physical and magical, so she decided that a championship would be the perfect gift to herself.

she actually proved a pretty even match for reaper, but in the end the champion won. though wildheart's energy seemed boundless, reapers patience and tactical skill were ultimately able to exhaust her.

after the fight, the two met by chance somewhere in/around the market. they got to talking, reaper asking what wildheart does for a living. finding the prospect of universe-hopping more interesting than beating the shit out of people, reaper asked to join wildheart.

reaper was a tall (for a draco) draco-morphiad with black fur, white patterns outlining the shape of her skeleton (or what it would be if draco-morphiads had those). she wore a grey hoodie. her wings, skeletal things composed entirely of ice, marked her as a water element, though her eyes seemed to contradict that (although wildheart didnt really know that). instead of the slightly desaturated off-teal you would expect from a water element, reapers eyes were pich black with pupils colored a deep, beautiful blue.

anyway, after a few weeks of traveling the multiverse together, the two encountered something strange. a universe with no glow, just a dull grey orb.

portaling inside (and quickly leaving), the two found that the universe was empty. it had experienced a heat death, something totally unnatural in this setting.

wildheart and reaper agreed that they had to find and kill whoever did this.

idk how, exactly, they found him, but that person turned out to be a being calling himself entropy, the incarnation of the void, the nothingness that came before the multiverse. while he was monolouging about a pair of beings called 'chaos' and 'order',  wildheart and reaper tried to jump entropy. entropy did not like this. he used some sort of attack that sent the pair into a strange voidspace.

sat in this voidspace was a pair of beings. a scribbled dragon, with eyes of wildheart's blood red, and a hyperrealistic marble statue of a woman with a buzzcut in a dress, with gemstone eyes of reapers deep, beautiful blue. the two were enormous, the tip of the dragons talon bigger than wildheart's entire body. they were playing chess on a table of equal proportions.

"you're back early." remarked the dragon "did something happen?"

after a bit of confusion, it became understood that wildheart and reaper had no idea who these people were or where they were.

the two giants explained that they were chaos (the scribbled dragon) and order, demiurges of the multiverse.

many googols (a number with a hundred zeroes) of googols of eons ago, there was nothing. out of that nothing arose chaos, pure unbridled creation. but without filter, chaos could not create or take any definite form. and so, it (chaos is they/it) sat as a sort of existance soup for not even they know how long. until, at some point, order arose from the void. order was filter, what chaos needed to truly create. she (order is she/it) could not create by itself either, each dependant on the other to do something they instinctually longed for. order's form was also much different from her current day form, either a ball of quantum strings or a colorless cube of indeterminate material (i havent decided). so, the two came together and created. one of the first things the two created was a pair of souls, one blood red and the other a deep, beautiful blue. each one carved their true name into the corresponding soul in the first language, marking them as the incarnations of chaos and order.t hey were to be sent out into the multiverse together every once in a while, when the multiverse needed saving or just spicing up. of course the current incarnations were wildheart, incarnation of chaos and reaper, incarnation of order. they had been sent out this time for the purpose of killing entropy, whose trail of destruction included countless universes. but for reasons i dont know yet but were probably a mistake on chaos and orders part, they couldnt do it by themselves. they needed two more of their kind (chaos was vague about what 'their kind' was because i want it to be revealed in the narrative later). idk if its the two specific dracos they meet later or just any.

theyre currently in the place behind existance, chaos and order's personal voidspace.

chaos also reveals when talking to order that wildheart and reaper are siblings, before promptly sending them back out into the multiverse. entropy has long moved on, assuming he killed the two siblings.

the story isnt too well planned from here but

after some freaking out/contemplating/whatever over the fact that theyre siblings, wildheart and reaper continue on.

eventually, they encounter Six Of Spades, child of the last draco-morphiad monarch. saen (six of spades uses saen/trah pronouns, the traditional draco neutral/no-element pronouns) is a no-element, a semi-rare mutant with, you guessed it, no element. six of spades percives this as a fault of some sort, and overcompensates for it by playing up the ‘last heir to the draco-morphiad throne’ thing. Technically, saens cousin would have inherited the throne, but saen has no cousins saens aware of. six of spades would actually make a good monarch, if not for saens general neurosis and feeling of being (mostly) superior to those around trah.

six of spades watched saens parent die in front of saen to poachers, who wanted monarch eris (six of spades's parent)'s teeth. the teeth are the only part of a draco-morphiads pure magic core that doesnt simply dissipate after death. theyre an extremely potent source of magic, thus why draco-morphiads were killed for them shortly after the fall of the empire.

apperance wise, six of spades is an average sized (about 4 feet tall) grey draco-morphiad. saen has medium-grey fur down to saens waist, where its abruptly replaced by light grey scales. saen has ear fins like a dragon, and spikes going down saens back that may or may not start with the scales. six of spades has a lizard like tail and long, angular talons. save for color scheme (monarch eris was green), the spitting image of saens parent. six of spades also wears a worn gold crown and carries a worn gold staff with a magic gemstone orb, both posessions of monarch eris

wldheart and reaper convince six of spades to come with them.

eventually, they encounter a young (about 13 year old)

[caandlelit]

Tbh I always loved you dabihawks AUs and was wondering if you could do more some time? (*Whisper chanting* Pjo au pjo au pjo au)

..how did u know i liked pjo ??? thats supposed to be a secret

but alright jshsj ok yeah like i havnt been thinking about it for ages

edit: i lost this so so so many fuckin times,,, but here goes. im so sorry its this late anon ive had a fucking shitty few months rip i hope to god you see this

dabi would be a legacy of apollo and vulcan, the roman version of hephaestus, on one side, and khione on the other

and endeavor, his dad, who thinks hes so great cause hes a legacy of apollo and vulcun, married rei, daughter of khione,,so that his legacies have fire and ice

dabi has this weird fuckin blue fire

apollo kids dont have fire but because of his vulcan he has fire, and its even stronger bc of apollo, therefore blue

he and fuyumi are twins

she has ice

genes fucked up and gave him fire despite their bodies being built for wach others quirks

and he can withstand cold temperatures

and constantly wishes he had ice instead so he wouldnt keep destroying his body trying to adjust to his powers especially cause his father made him use them at an early age

shouto is ice and fire, and natsuo is the healer, hes strong, plus a few seer abilities

this also fits in with my hc that natsu is a docter!! so like

thanks vulcan

but mostly apollo, for being so over achieving. your efforts are appreciated

nothing compared to hermes tho i dare u to google what hes the god of

hawks is a fuckinsksjlsksk

a fuckin

ok

ur not ready

half harpy half hermes kid

everyone asks 'duuude why did ur dad fuck a harpy what was he oN'

'uhh, obviously for the wings it'd eventually give me- i dont fUCKIN know man, can yall stop asking'

so hawks has red wings and likes chicken nuggets and considers his dad a huge asshole

'met the guy once, and once was enough'

he was born out of a drunken one night stand (fuck you hermes) and his mom, a harpy who doesnt really care, leaves him soon after she gets bored

hes soon found and picked up by rumi and ruyuuku, half blood duo extraordinare and they eventually find their way to camp

and hes way better at camp, grows up from a hobo chicken to a ray of sunshine

he learns to be good with people and he brushes off any bullying with jokes about himself and gains respect for being such a chill guy

so social skills and diplomacy!!

plus hes good at memorizing things, thanks to the harpy genes

also pretty loud, thanks to the harpy genes

plus, he has wINGS

so,,, wings + hermes kid + all these characteristics = a messenger for the two camps basically sent by the gods

hes the middleman between the two camps as soon as hes old enough to get taxis and can fly well enough travel across longer distances

they meet cause hawks had to go deliver some message to the praetor of the roman camp

and hes stopped by the river where percy met frank and hazel in the books

idk the name its been a while fuck off

by a demigod guard on duty

hes about to fly across

when someone yells

"hey mESSENGER PIDGEON! OVER HERE!"

what the fuck

hawks looks around, flapping his wings in confusion

"yEAH YOU, YA SEE ANYONE ELSE WITH WINGS HERE? DUMBASS"

okay, woW, now hawks is confused out of his mind and pink with annoyance, what the fuck

"dOWN HERE BIRDBRAIN, WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING IN THE FUCKIN' SKY FOR"

oh oops right why would there be someone in the air

hawks looks down sheepishly

theres a roman guard, looking to be about his age, 16 or so, completely ignoring his job and apparently tossing pebbles at the river a few feet away, from the piles hawks can vaguely see scattered around him

he sees him cup his hands around his mouth and shout

"HURRY THE FUCK UP"

okay okay calm your tits

hawks flies down to the guy and lands and hes v confused ok

but the guard guy is way more interesting up close than he was from the sky

hes not wearing his helmet, taller than hawks, his hair a messy jet black, his eyes bright blue and his smile lazy but really cute

and sue him or whatever okay but,,

hawks is a sucker for blue eyes

and then hes being teased

"what were you lookin around for?"

hawks' feathers puff up in indignation and he kicks him in the shin

'shut up asshole, i came down didnt i. what do u want'

the guy laughs

"i just wanted to see your wings, your feathers are fuckin dope"

hawks is kind of endeared at this point, is this guy for real

he offers hawks a pebble and goes

"u wanna try?"

hawks stares

then he shrugs internally, cause why the fuck not, hes here all week why not make a friend while hes at it

he takes the pebble and their fingers brush and its all so cliche

hawks tosses the pebble and then hes being laughed at and taught how to throw pebbles

and they hang out getting to know each other for a solid few hours until someone comes to see why the fuck the messenger guy isnt here yet

aka shigaraki

who drags himself down to the river to see dabi fucking around with the pidgeon guy and he sighs

drags a waving, beaming hawks to the camp while dabi grins wide and waves back

then theyre talking all the time and hawks is making up excuses to fly over at least once a month and dabi is using all the drachma endeavor has to call hawks,

"its for a good cause"

and endeavor hates it because hes a greek hating dick

he thinks the camps shouldnt interact

when dabi discovers this hes fuckin delighted

"fuckin lit, a new way to piss him off!!"

*dabi voice* ive been thinking about that exchange program, maybe i should make the switch!

*constipated endeavor noises*

endeavor is old enough to be respected by a small few, and old enough for most people to wonder why the fuck he isnt dead yet

they eventually go on their first quest together

alone

no one wants to go with them because no one is willing to thirdwheel

shigarakis actual answer was "are you kidding me id rather die"

[zombiequincy]

THE MEGA RP PLOTTING SHEET / MEME.

First and foremost, recall that no one is perfect, we all had witnessed some plotting once which did not went too well, be it because of us or our partner. So here have this, which may help for future plotting. It’s a lot! Yes, but perhaps give your partners some insight? Anyway BOLD what fully applies, italicize if only somewhat.

MUN NAME: Hela     AGE: 21       CONTACT: IM

CHARACTER(S): Giselle Gewelle, Yumichika Ayasegawa (inactive)

CURRENT FANDOM(S): Bleach

BLEACH FANDOM(S) YOU HAVE AN AU FOR:  I have gory Bloodborne au but that one just exists in my head on my lonesome.

MY LANGUAGE(S): English and one very specific Middle Eastern dialect.

THEMES I’M INTERESTED IN FOR RP: FANTASY / Science fiction / Horror / WESTERN / ROMANCE / Thriller / MYSTERY / DYSTOPIA / ADVENTURE / MODERN / Erotic / Crime / MYTHOLOGY / Classic / HISTORY / RENAISSANCE / MEDIEVAL / Ancient / WAR / FAMILY / POLITICS / RELIGION / SCHOOL / ADULTHOOD / CHILDHOOD / APOCALYPTIC / GODS / Sport / MUSIC / Science / FIGHTS / ANGST / Smut / DRAMA / etc. 

PREFERRED THREAD LENGTH: one-liner / 1 para / 2 PARA / 3+ / NOVELLA.

ASKS CAN BE SEND BY: MUTUALS / NON-MUTUALS / PERSONALS / ANONS.

CAN ASKS BE CONTINUED?:   YES / NO    only by Mutuals?:  YES / NO.

PREFERRED THREAD TYPE: CRACK / casual nothing too deep / SERIOUS / DEEP AS HECK. (i love it all sorry I am quite the mixed bag lmao)

IS REALISM / RESEARCH IMPORTANT FOR YOU IN CERTAIN THEMES?:   YES / NO. i gotta know what certain human body parts taste like u know

ARE YOU ATM OPEN FOR NEW PLOTS?:  YES / NO / DEPENDS.

DO YOU HANDLE YOUR DRAFT / ASK - COUNT WELL?:  YES / NO / SOMEWHAT. it’s SO BAD FOR ME RN ASGLDKJDJKA i’m very inconsistent i’m so sorry.

HOW LONG DO YOU USUALLY TAKE TO REPLY?: 24H / 1 WEEK / 2 WEEKS / 3+ / months / years. / a lot of it has more to do w my general writing mood and if the thread im writing catches my interest, and rn im writing a TON of really wonderful and fascinating threads so they’re all super captivating for me and i try to reply asap

I’M OKAY WITH INTERACTING: ORIGINAL CHARACTERS / a relative of my character (an oc) / duplicates / MY FANDOM / CROSSOVERS / MULTI-MUSES / self-inserts / people with no AU verse for my fandom / CANON-DIVERGENT PORTRAYALS / AU-VERSIONS.

DO YOU POST MORE IC OR OOC?: IC / OOC. (i have a lot of stupid shit sorry) 

ARE YOU SELECTIVE WITH FOLLOWING OTHERS?: YES / NO / DEPENDS.  

BEST WAYS TO APPROACH YOU FOR RP/PLOTTING: just send me a tumblr instant message, i know it sucks shit but im not comfy releasing my discord w everyone just yet cause i use it for personal use as well. i check tumblr on the daily so if you send me a message chances are i’ll see it and respond!

WHAT EXPECTATIONS DO YOU HOLD TOWARDS YOUR PLOTTING PARTNER:  i guess just be able to put up with my rambling and stopping and starting, a lot of characterisation choices i do go through various stages and its pretty messy so when i communicate that with others it usually ends up equally messy. just be patient with me please.

WHEN YOU NOTICE THE PLOTTING IS RATHER ONE-SIDED, WHAT DO YOU DO?:  i don’t mind! sometimes ppl have more ideas that they want to share first and i’m always super happy to listen to those ideas !! sometimes its nice to have someone with a clear guide or structure and be able to work around that rather than trying to fumble through a plot together.

HOW DO YOU USUALLY PLOT WITH OTHERS, DO YOU GIVE INPUT OR LEAVE MOST WORK TOWARDS YOUR PARTNER?:  i try to map out some basic info abt their characters that i otherwise don’t know from their bio or verses and try to pick out points of confrontation or similarities to expand on with giselle that can be used as points for like a starter to happen. its either that or sometimes i have really stupid ideas i just toss out there like ‘LMAO THEYRE BREAKING SHIT AT DISNEYLAND’ and go buck wild from there if the other person is down. i also always try to warn people or get a gauge for what subjects to avoid and steer clear of considering that giselle is a bit of a Freak(tm) and will say and do bad things.

WHEN A PARTNER DROPS THE THREAD, DO YOU WISH TO KNOW?:   YES / NO / DEPENDS. - And why?: if there’s something giselle did or said that upset you, i would love to know not to repeat it again (since i do still feel pretty new to the rp game, theres still plenty of time for me to make stupid mistakes). if its just a general lack of interest or uncertainty of where the plot should go, then you dont have to tell me i wont take it personally i promise ! 

WHAT COULD POSSIBLY LEAD YOU TO DROP A THREAD?: sometimes i can be made uncomfortable by certain things mentioned... it happens but its rare 

- WILL YOU TELL YOUR PARTNER?:   YES / NO / DEPENDS. i don’t want to upset anyone personally and sometimes explaining the ins and outs of my discomfort make things ten times worse so i just. would rather not.

IS COMMUNICATION IN THE RPC IMPORTANT TO YOU? YES / NO.

- AND WHY?: i am the most nervous person you can meet and my brain is always giving me misinfo abt paranoia and random shit so i having clear concrete communication between two parties abt if something is going wrong or is being received poorly means the world to me.

ARE YOU OKAY WITH ABSOLUTE HONESTY, EVEN IF IT MAY MEANS HEARING SOMETHING NEGA1TIVE ABOUT YOU AND/OR PORTRAYAL?: i need it !! i still feel relatively new to all this and i need to know whats going wrong to improve !! 

DO YOU THINK YOU CAN HANDLE SUCH SITUATION IN A MATURE WAY? YES / NO.

WHY DO YOU RP AGAIN, IS THERE A GOAL?: to help with my confidence in writing! i have v bad anxiety when it comes to sharing my works and i write a lot of other pieces alongside this blog on ao3 and i want to develop my writing skills just in general. when it comes to like the nuts and bolts of why i rp giselle specifically, its mainly to just have fun and have a laugh w my friends who are really awesome quincy writers

WISHLIST, BE IT PLOTS OR SCENARIOS:  OH SO MANY! ive managed to fulfil a lot of my wishlist threads with like, giselle talking to characters she’s already zombified and i love all that angst but i want to do more stupid shit. i want to make it my personal goal to bully every quincy man and woman on sight. although a REAL dream would be if i got to write a thread zombifying a character who managed to escape giselle’s clutches. and more fighting! i want to get better at describing action and fights and i love to write giselle getting beat up and beating people up! more more more!! 

THEMES I WON’T EVER RP / EXPLORE:   hohoho theres a LOT... uh r*pe/dubcon threads for one, even if yeah i know writing it doesnt condone it, it makes me intensely uncomfortable to put my muse in that scenario, i feel like i have an obligation to like, protect her from that shit you know? racism is one i don’t want to transgress, even though i’m a poc, its not really cathartic or groundbreaking to write abt racism in threads its just... really fucking upsetting. also i know the quincy’s have this very close parallel to the whole n*zi imagery and ideology thing going on and i am not about to start even daring to thread that into my writing or bring those allusions and references of real life tragedies into giselle’s threads. i’ve already talked at length abt exploring giselles trans identity in rp and why im not comfortable doing so, so.... yeah! all those i guess.

WHAT TYPE OF STARTERS DO YOU PREFER / DISLIKE, CAN’T WORK WITH?: i like starters where giselle can just immediately get right into being a piece of shit. mise en scene and all that! cut out the build up and just get to the intense horror !! i don’t like starters where its not immediately clear where the characters are standing and what they’re doing and what’s happening around them. those really disorientate me and leave me kinda floundering because i always need some allusion or mention of a setting to ground giselle in a time and place other wise i cant tell what her response should be

WHAT TYPE OF CHARACTERS CATCH YOUR INTEREST THE MOST?:  EVIL WOMEN EVIL WOMEN EVIL WOMEN. also just characters i can wholeheartedly clown on, or also characters who have hidden depths to them and have a single panel of screentime. honestly it’s just all over the place!

WHAT TYPE OF CHARACTERS CATCH YOUR INTEREST THE LEAST?:  angry old men GSADJDKSJA i could never rp yhwach for example or yamamoto because idk. theyre just so crummy and boring to me. i also couldnt rp characters who always have an upper hand in battle like aizen. i like my dumbasses and i like them stupid and adaptive not just, ‘yes i know this because i Know this.’

WHAT ARE YOUR STRONG ASPECTS AS RP PARTNER?: i think im nice...? FKSJDKDJSA idk i hate trying to toot my own horn. sometimes i also think i make funny jokes and im pretty chill and laid back

WHAT ARE YOUR WEAK ASPECTS AS RP PARTNER?: my writing style is inconsistent and adapts to whatever i’m reading so sometimes it’ll be really good and i love it and other times it reads like really bad fanfic and i get carried away far too easily and write novella lengths for threads which should be much shorter. i also get shy a lot and dont think i communicate very effectively but HEYO we’re working on it!

DO YOU RP SMUT?:  YES / NO/ DEPENDS. haven’t had anybody brave enough to try yet lol

DO YOU PREFER TO GO INTO DETAIL?: YES / NO / DEPENDS.

ARE YOU OKAY WITH BLACK CURTAIN?: YES / NO.

- WHEN DO YOU RP SMUT? MORE OUT OF FUN OR CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT?: more for fun i’d imagine because that’s just giselles own attitude to sex and relationships where she doesnt want anything deep. it might show character development in one way of just showing how she regards others in a romantic sense to be used rather than actually appreciated as their own person and show how selfish she is but yeah, more out of fun

- ANYTHING YOU WOULD NOT WANT TO RP THERE?:  theres a few kinks and such but i dont think they’d ever really come up. again, just mainly no r*pe/dubcon.

ARE SHIPS IMPORTANT TO YOU?:   YES / NO lets hope this doesn’t make me sound like an asshole, but its more like a fun little side thing than anything important to giselle’s actual development and characterisation. 

WOULD YOU SAY YOUR BLOG IS SHIP-FOCUSED?: YES / NO. again, hardly anyone is brave enough to try to romance this evil cannibal.

DO YOU USE READ MORE?:  YES / NO / SOMETIMES WHEN I WRITE LONG STUFF.

ARE YOU:  MULTI-SHIP / Single-Ship / Dual-Ship  —  MULTIVERSE / Singleverse.

- WHAT DO YOU LOVE TO EXPLORE THE MOST IN YOUR SHIPS?: more how giselle likes to give over her power or dominate in different circumstances depending on who she’s with and what’s being done. BUT AGAIN, not a whole lot to explore yet.

ARE YOU OKAY WITH PRE-ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIPS?: YES / NO. - i mean im down for p much anything if it vibes w giselle.

► SECTION ABOUT YOUR MUSE.

- WHAT COULD POSSIBLY MAKE YOUR MUSE INTERESTING TOWARDS OTHERS, WHY SHOULD THEY RP WITH THIS PARTICULAR CHARACTER OF YOURS NOW, WHAT POSSIBLE PLOTS DO THEY OFFER?: if you want an evil woman to taunt and mock and hurt your muse, she’s your gal. you want her to zombify and ruin your muse, shes also your gal. you want her to insult and maim and injure, she’s also YOUR GAL. basically, if you want to do anything fucked up or sad or scary, she can help with that.

- WITH WHAT TYPE OF MUSES DO YOU USUALLY STRUGGLE TO RP WITH?:  uh muses who get really angry quickly or don’t rise or respond to her jabs and are just kinda like a flatline. theres only so much pestering and annoying she can do until realises its not working and just wanders off

- WHAT DO THEY DESIRE, IS THEIR GOAL?:  to find a goal worth living for.

- WHAT CATCHES THEIR INTEREST FIRST WHEN MEETING SOMEONE NEW?:  appearance she always takes an interest in girls almost right away. age as well because she judges old people. 

- WHAT DO THEY VALUE IN A PERSON?:  a good set of guts to ruin and strong muscles.

- WHAT THEMES DO THEY LIKE TALKING ABOUT?:  women, gore, murder, herself, music, stupid memes, gossip.

- WHICH THEMES BORE THEM?:  politics, history, quincy ideology, soul reaper ideology, hollow physiology.

- DID THEY EVER WENT THROUGH SOMETHING TRAUMATIC?:  her family tried to force the burden of upholding the quincy lineage onto her shoulders, she was thrown into the wrong prison and held in isolation, then pressured to become an undying monster in service of a god and then was nearly killed by that same man and left wandering without guidance or purpose. so, yeah?

- WHAT COULD LEAD TO AN INSTANT KILL?:  transphobia. even a whiff of it in her direction and she’ll gut you like a fish.

- IS THERE SOMEONE /-THING THEY HATE?:  the twink soul reaper who outted her.

IS YOUR MUSE EASY TO APPROACH?: YES / NO. - Best ways to approach them?:  if you’re smart, you’ll bring a big bone for her to chew on and distract her while you ask whatever you want.

SOMETHING YOU MAY STILL WANT TO POINT OUT ABOUT YOUR MUSE?: i love my evil queen!

CONGRATS!!! You managed it, now tag your mutuals! ♥

Tagged by:  @bazzardburner​ cheers chicken boy !!

Tagging: @hyouketsu​ @blooming5th​ @viciousvizard​ @glacies-tempestatem​ and whoever else wishes to do this!!

[cleaduvalls]

i watched all 20 episodes of spy kids: mission critical in about a week and here are my thoughts (3/5)

1.9

i havent watched this in like 2 days i dont even remember what happened last time

why is everything in the desert the desert sucks

alsjhiajgdf i love tom kenny

listen i know hes like a superandroid or whatever but i really hope he and therese fall in love

wait hold up. i thought they already had midterms???? like the did that before scorpion went to her fashion shoot. AND they were kupkakkes midterms. whats up with this school

no drinking in class???? rude. let them hydrate

that seems imbalanced

aHh

thats only like 10

also that book is dummy thicc

its ok ace my nose whistles too

shut up carmen youre just jealous because shes pretty

there are no seasons its a desert

ok dude stop breathing so hard

he JUST said that

anywhere between an hour and umm... 11 months

you put it on one page why are all the pages back

me but with physics

thats literally the best line in the whole series

juni how do you not know that you were at a safe H O U S E

theyve been gone for like 2 hours are they not allowed to study?????

what even is AWOL???

absent without leave. neat

talon gives off some big draco energy

tick tock???? how dare you

slkdhfa she called sir awesome honey shes such a mom

dont make it obvious

oh look they made it obvious

roll credits

i was in cleveland when i watched this episode - well actually i left that day - and i was s h o o k e t h

also hes right. no spy would be in cleveland. theres 3 buildings

oh me too

right bc shes the only “I.A.”

ew

eW

this isnt HARRY POTTER. or maybe it is. talon is a hardcore draco

oh right bc swearing is for Men™

update tumblr decided to break AGAIN (im boutta cry btw) so we lost about 5 minutes from the end of 1.9 and 7 from the beginning of 1.10

1.10

its a DOORBELL do they not have those in the outback steakhouse

lots of people. doofenshmirtz, other people who i cant think of right now, etc

???? no it wont????

did your troop leader not give you The Talk??? you NEVER go in the customers house

ace no. youre allowed to not buy treats

theres a triforce on her vest, too

shes just gonna go to another house yall. shell be f i n e

oh my God shes holding hands with mauly im gonna c r y

yeah its called saliva

nope only scorpion lives in a castle

stop bringing up spy sense and tell him you saw her glare at you

HES ALLOWED TO LIKE FOOD

how do you know that he doesnt have his phone if YOU dont know where it is and HE cant tell you

i love how she says "floor. ceiling. more thumb"

haha i found the birth of venus

oh and the creation of adam

hes like squidward, which would make sense bc goldies voiced by tom kenny who voices spongebob

"sebastian oliver" "shadow operative" S.O. nice

why do you have a trailblazers badge. youre 4. i didnt get one til i was a cadette

also sebastian???? isnt that the toymakers first name????? you cant have 2 sebastians

also why do you have braces. youre still 4

"SIR MEANIE FACE" IF SOMEONE SAID THAT TO ME ID BE D E V A S T A T E D

SCORPION LET HER CRY SHES F O U R

so really, spy sense DID help

oooooh, sentry duty, thats gotta hurt

WHAT THE H E C K YOURE F O U R

she looks like frickin plushtrap

aCE NO YOURW GONNA D I E

oh trust me they hurt me more than you know

dude theyre so thin youre f i n e

eh, still worked

clicking her teeth together so hard must H U R T

i think she can get out of there. also shes concussed now

why was that so quiet. why did it get louder

thats not a y shape

no, they spy kids

oh shiitake mushrooms thats what THEY said

whenever they say pinnoquinoxx i always think of pinnochio

ahdhhsjak i miss pizza parties 😔

well now we ALL expect it

also, no one????? pick a cooler code name. your regular name was cool and now youve ruined it

2.1

oh theres finally a skip intro option. im not taking it

stop saying that its weird

EWWWWWW CRUSTY THATS SO G R O S S

haha shes shopping w the goon. love that

oh yeah i didnt get to tell yall yet but i absolutely h a t e gablet

a lot of people, juni

listen i know a jt (but he doesnt go by jt) and uhhhhhhh were not gonna go there

why are you happy. what about second semester makes you so happy

boi thats a tardis

the design on his hoverboard looks like the aperture science logo

i paused to read the Floops label and it says "fried corn and sugar loop shaped breakfast substitute, net wt. 13 oz" ITS NOT EVEN A CEREAL ITS A BREAKFAST SUBSTITUTE IM C R Y I N G

listen i know hes technically scorpions dad but i dont think he can legally be in the dorm rooms

aww, thats sweet

i dont think gablet has an attached printer

gablet always sounds like shes mocking people

oh dear God its dolores umbridge

haha nerd

awesome no im gonna die

whenever carmen yells she sounds like link

ok so i didnt find a reason why she sounds like link but i DID find that theyre making a wherea waldo tv series so uhhhh thats fun

why does the cat have a bandaid

GABLET S T O P

OH!!!!!! ON THE WALL!!!!!!! ITS THE TUMBLR POST WITH THE FORK AND KNIFE ETIQUETTE PICTURE!!!!! YOU KNOW THE ONE!!!!!

oh no fart jokes

its even the basic fart sound effect

BAHAHAH MY PHONE VIBRATED AT THE SAME TIME HE FARTED THAT WAS WEIRD

oh no i hate him

stop SLURPING

uh yeah???? you heard them yelling about it

how??? does that work??? you cant just like catch electricity in a cup.... can you???? i havent studied it since 4th grade

oh worm??

goldies such a boomer

worm??

psi shouldnt be at the drawing board right now. he also shouldnt be confused

what happened to the lasers

wait nvm we havent gotten to that episode yet

ace is valid, dark is Scary

im gonna punch gablet in the face

that doesnt sound realistic

do you not have stairs??????

dont you mean inside AND out??

that flashlight did NOTHING

how did it die so fast?????

who else would you be talking to??

isnt that bowser from the mario movie we dont speak of??

i havent gotten a chance to tell yall but i absolutely love clemp. hes such a mood

hes the greatest spy

does it use a mini transmooker???? ig it doesnt bc gablet works but thatd be lit

SEE SHES IMMORTAL

me when i see something interesting

ME WHEN IM NOT ON MY PHONE

i dont think you can legally say that

you killed her

me

wow nice promo

also just???? bring a charger????? like youre the tech girl why do you not have one at all times

how?????? did you go so fast

machete electric bubbles??? nice

just task manager him

mother of all boards sounds like it could be a cuss...mother of all fuckers

also throwback to 1.7 when she says "his ai firewalled his motherboard" i keep expecting her to say "his ai firewalled this motherfucker"

yes i said keep ive watched that episode too many times to count

worm??

why did you giggle and make a flirty pose. are yall supposed to get together???

did you????? kill him????????? holy shit

2.2

thats what my dad does. he loves hospital corners

idc what it is you have a bazooka

ok if it was a spider id get it, australia has some deadly ones, but does it have deadly ants too???? like is that a Thing????

also ants in your room are gross

was that just a cameo??? i dont remember what happens in this one

haha because he said grapevines and wine has dregs and wine is made of grapes

for the boys??? thats so cute

listen idc how evil you are EVERYONE should cry over otters

so one of the parents has a sister or sister in law named roxanna..... hmmm.......

if you dont use your turn signal h*ck u

hes gonna D I E

i just looked at my shoe and i think theres blood on it???? what the h*ck

suspicious??? about.... what???? having fears???? not being perfect?????

juni that was awful wording

JUNI WHAT DID YOU D O TO HIM

like i know what he DID but the way it plays out makes it seem like something significant

i thought his name was heavy meddle not.... deth metal???? thats how the subtitles spell it

hahah me

he sounds like bling bling boy

yeah ik im a fool thanks for reminding me

what are you gonna do??? kill juni????

POOR WORD CHOICE JUNI

oh he gives exactly 0 h*cks

a shoe doesnt make that sound

crack bugs?????

see thats why you dont mess with things

im a god among boys??????? what????

did you... kill them????????????

thats any australian person

theyre so stupid i love them

good i hate her

i thought the gunk just like... disappeared from the guitar but actually it shot off

he died... 😔

uhh.... yeah????? was it not obvious?????

me when i have 5 dollars

[fightevilandthengetblownup]

Chats: Jo+Anna

(for lexy)

FIRST ONE: When Anna had her cast, and basically is the girls just talking about their sexlives/the guys’ turn ons according to them?!?!

<Jo> Yep yep!

<Jo> Anna and Gray talking and threats on genitalia FTW

<Anna> LOL

<Jo> *feels so bad for Gray and Anna right now*

<Anna> lol

<Anna> the make up sex will be amazing

<Jo> Lol most definitely

<Jo> Gray is trying to get Jo and Grey to fuck currently

<Anna> o.O

<Jo> Because he’s trying to live vicariously through Grey

<Jo> Cause Anna is injured

<Jo> And they are in the midst of needing make up sex

<Anna> *dying*

<Anna> *had not heard this*

<Jo> Lol it was happening last night

<Anna> LOL

<Anna> Gray went from not much sex to getting it with Anna and now he’s back to no sex

<Jo> LOL where as Grey has gone from all the sex to no sex for four months, to once a month-every other month with Jo though its coming up to the two month bracket again.

<Anna> LOL

<Jo> So Gray is trying to get his brother laid since he seemingly has realised he can just go have sex when he wants

<Anna> *crying*

<Jo> XD

<Jo> Its highly amusing

<Anna> I love it

<Jo> Sadly Grey is rejecting suggestions. Though there was a five minute discussion of Gray’s random shouts of “PITY BLOW JOBS” when Grey and Jo talk

<Anna> “you need to get laid..” “why” “because my gf is an idiot and i’m cut off”…“still not explaining why I need to get laid…”

<Jo> Lol accurate

<Anna> I support this

<Jo> lololol I’m pretty sure the only one who doesnt support it is Grey.

<Anna> “you know, you should have sex with Gray”

<Jo> “… What?!”

<Anna> “Grey, you and he should have sex.”

<Jo> “We..do have sex? Sometimes… Occasionally. ….Why are you saying that?” (God misspell almost killed Jo)

<Anna> (crying)

<Anna> *Anna shrugs* “Someone should be getting some around here.”

<Jo> “I cant really disagree with you there, but I’d have thought you’d be seeing just what can and cant be done with what happened to your leg rather than suggesting me and Grey fuck.”

<Anna> “Not sure Gray is talking to me enough right now for the suggestion of sex..”

<Jo> “Oh? Well thats not normal. I’d figure he’d jump at the chance for a lay even if he was mad at you. The hatesex is kind of great, and its a good form of apology really.”

<Jo> (Im going to have to nip off and hcange rooms in a few minutes but I’m keeping saving so we’ll continue when I get back when I do? Cause this is just too amusing.)

<Anna> *Anna snorts* “Not sure if you’ve noticed but Gray and Grey are a lot more a like than they want to admit. He treats me like glass right now. It’s why you and Grey should go for it, see if he’s taken a rougher turn.”

<Anna> (kk!)

<Jo> *Jo bites down on her lip to stop from laughing, nodding* “Okay yeah, theyre sort of alike in that respect. Though I’m pretty sure the rougher turn would be unlikely, he’s still walking on eggshells after a fight of ours among other things - not that I wouldnt welcome it or /anything/ really.”

<Anna> *Anna laughs some* “Take advantage of what turns him on. Like, just do something that pushes his buttons.”

<Anna> (brb fast)

<Jo> (kk!)

<Jo> “Unlike you, I cant really whip out the whips and dirty talk to get an auto-okay.” *Jo grins, shaking her head with a sigh* “I’m still amused youre encouraging this, but I guess I know some things that I could do - though I dont think it’d get the reaction youre thinking”

<Anna> *Anna blushes* “It’s not that easy with Gray but it definatly helps to push his buttons. I mean there isn’t one thing that Grey likes that he can’t resist if you do it?”

<Jo> “Oh really? I’d have thought with how… sex-obsessed he’s been talking lately I would have thought it might be.” *She smiles wider at Anna’s blush before turning reddish herself, smirking wider as she talks* “Theres.. his neck. I guess. I mean, if it can get him in the mood in the middle of a zombie flick, it must be pretty good, right?”

<Anna> “So then just put in his favorite movie and the go for the throat.” *Anna grins at Jo’s own blush with a raised brow.* “And it’s good to know Gray is missing sex.”

<Jo> “I’d think a movie he /doesnt/ like would work better. The potential for being turned down in favor of a lightsabre battle is not something I want to comprehend.   Gray keeps suggesting I give his brother pity blowjobs. If he’s trying to get someone else laid, I’d guess he’s blueballing pretty bad.” *Jo rubs at the back of her neck, giving an awkward laugh originally, getting slightly redder*

<Anna> “Oh I’m so glad Gray is easier. I mean, just a lil dirty talk and telling him how I want to be f…erm..what I want to try and he’s pretty much ready to go.” *Anna looks away trying to not smirk at the thought of Gray telling Jo to give Grey pity blowjobs* “And I would have to hurt him if I was ever passed over for a movie.”

<Jo> “Like I say, it’s pretty much the neck, no talking required. Though I guess I could understand turning up sex for the trash compactor scene.” *Jo laughs, obviously joking before giving Anna a curious look* “So I guess you tend to suggest a fair few ideas? Anything unexpectedly good?”

<Anna> “Well, turn the movie on, let him find it, sit down watching and then attack the neck from behind.” *Anna runs her hand through her hair and she just gives a small shrug.* “Well, there’s been some good ones. I kind of spent the day reading smut stories to learn how to talk dirty because that isn’t something we are taught you know as an angel.”

<Jo> “Generally we just end up curled up on the couch with a movie, its not to hard to just turn my head if I want to actually.” *Anna explaining her reading up makes Jo snicker* “Dirty talk is not that hard, though I guess maybe for you.. Those things are good for ideas though.”

<Anna> *Anna just gives Jo a dirty look but then grins* “Oh shut up I wasn’t born or raised in a barn..or bar in your case and even as a human it was a church. I think that’s why he likes it so much.”

<Jo> “Naughty catholic girl. …You haven’t tried out schoolgirl outfits on him yet have you, because I think that might break him.” *Jo continues snickering, pinning Anna with a curious look*

<Anna> *Anna blinks having never thought of that and then grins blushing* “Not yet but I just might now, any chance you could get one for me? And one for yourself, we could see what they do if we both show up in them.”

<Jo> *Jo flushes brightly, shaking her head at Anna rapidly* “No! No no, I.. this has been a discussion before in jest, and just no. Mainly because while I’m sure Gray would be distracted by the appeal of it, Grey can do a disturbingly good looking teacher act. But I could find one for you, easy.”

<Anna> “Oh come on. You with your hair up in pigtails could easily be bend over Grey’s lap.” *Anna is starting to laugh as she can’t get the mental image out of her mind now. “I’m sure you could think of a hundred things you’ve done to be a bad girl.”

<Jo> *If it were possible she was sure she was blushing more, tryng not to laugh at Anna’s comments as the image pops into her head* “You’re saying that like you wouldnt just be eaten up even quicker by Gray if you showed up in braids and some red tartan skirt, white shirt and a tie he could wrap your wrists in. That, and he wouldn’t play along, just go right for your panties.”

<Anna> “Who would be wearing panties?” *Anna chokes on her laughter as she wipes her face, eyes starting to water as she laughs.* “Oh hell..How did we get to talking about this again? I mean you and Grey are the ones needing to get laid. What about naughty secretery? White button up shirt, black pencil skirt, heels, no bra and your hair up in a bun?”

<Jo> “Easy, you and Gray have a lot more sex, even when you’re fighting!” *Jo rubs at her cheeks, feeling like they were almost on fire as she looks back at Anna with a grin and a shake of her head* “I think I’d have better luck walking about in a Superman tshirt and nothing else, honestly. Though I should probably invest in some /actual/ lingerie some day.”

<Anna> “So then awkard nerd? There’s a halloween shop in town I’m sure you can find the Princess Leia slave bikini.” *Anna is trying hard to say this is a straight face and she’s failing miserably as she holds her stomach nearly doubling over in laughter at this point.*

<Jo> *Jo lets out a squeak of laughter before shoving her hand across her mouth, shaking her head as Anna cracks up* “Oh god! You didn’t get that from turning down for a jedi fight?! Still, lord, I don’t think there is any place but a convention that anyone could pull that off.”

<Anna> “Or maybe you could be his communications officer and he could be your captain.” *Anna lays back in the bed, she can’t breath now as Jo squeeks and talks about being turned down for a jedi fight.* “It’s a convention for two in your bedroom..”

<Jo> *If she wasnt already laughing, Jo was certain she would be at that, clutching onto the end of the bed to keep herself upright* “This is where you start making Billie Piper jokes and suggest painting the bedroom doorway blue as well.”

<Anna> *Anna puts her hand over her mouth, she’s trying to not scream the mental image of Grey and Jo playing Doctor hits her.* “I dare you get to a vibrator and tell Grey he forgot his sonic screwdriver.*

<Jo> *Its what cracks her, dropping to her knees and clutching her ribs as she laughs, before clawing her way to stand after a thought comes to her* "I guess I know what his Tardis is then - cause it’s bigger on the inside of his pants.”

<Anna> *Anna can feel the tears running down her face as she laughs. She wants to ask if that’s the control stick and did he have to press as many button on her as he did the Tardis to get a rise but she can’t make the words form around the laughter.*

<Jo> *It takes a few minutes before Jo has control enough of herself to be able to breathe properly, wiping at her eyes* “Okay, so… I should work on my english accent and find you a schoolgirl outfit.” *she swallows down a laugh as she speak, still rubbing at her eyes and gasping for breath occasionally*

<Anna> “Yes.” *Anna is slowly starting to get her breath and she’s sure her face is as red as Jo’s face right now.*

<Jo> *Stiffling herself from laughing again, Jo cocks a hip to the side and gives Anna and her casted leg a look* “Maybe a cheerleader outfit would work better, claim you got a sports injury.”

<Anna> *Anna looks down at the hard cast they put on her yesterday and she shakes her head.* “I was thinking more of telling him I had been a bad girl and needed to go to the principles office.” *Once again she’s in a fit of giggles.*

<Jo> “Watch out, he might think about bringing in corporal punishment on your unpantied ass.” *Jo gives a snicker, covering her mouth with a hand*

<Anna> *Anna tries to say something but the nurse comes in giving both girls a look, having heard the last part of Jo’s conversation, saying Anna can do whatever she wants as long as she doesn’t put any weight on that leg and Anna pulls the pillow over her head dying*

<Jo> *Jo waits until the woman is out of the room before saying offhandedly* “Pretty sure being on someone’s lap counts as not putting weight down”

<Anna> *Anna snorts laughing* “On…Across..same difference right?”

<Jo> “Across is a lot more comfortable in that situation” *Smirking slightly, Jo waggles an eyebrow at Anna*

<Anna> “Don’t you have to go pick out a zombie movie and molest a neck?” *Anna grins shooing Jo off, getting her composure back as she smiles, glad for Jo being here*

<Jo> *Jo laughs, pulling a slightly smug face and shrugging a shoulder* “I’ll let you know how it goes then. Try not to spoil the treat until I can get you the props, Anna, or else you really will have been a naughty, naughty girl.”

<Anna> “Oh go get laid!” *Anna laughs as Jo leaves, missing Gray and hoping he won’t treat her like she will break when she gets out.“

SECOND ONE: Jo and Grey had hooked up and then Jo annoyed Anna to death

<Anna> Anna is now …grumbling…

<Jo> Oh..?

<Anna> “well I’m glad someone finally got some” /sarcasm

<Jo> “You were all for it, don’t go bitchin’ cause I get laid and you don’t. I fully support your right to fuck too though”       headdeskingatJoandherhappymood

<Anna> *Anna looks at Jo’s perky attitude this morning and shakes her head.* “I almost think I prefer Ruby and that scalpel.”

<Jo> “You say that, but you really don’t mean that.” *Jo smiles back at Anna widely* “That’s going to suck for a long while, while this is just going to be painful til you get some too. Which might be a while.”

<Anna> “Oh shut up..I’ve already tried and been shut down.” *Anna rolls her eyes at the fact this is the best mood that Jo’s been in for ages.*

<Jo> “/That/ sucks. Seriously, I know exactly how bad that sucks.” *Attempting to look sincerely sorry for the other was hard as she keeps trying to smile from the lack of tension and stress running through her* “I’m surprised though really.”

<Anna> *Anna watches Jo’s attempt and fail at a serious expression and she rolls her eyes with  shake of her head.* “Tell Grey he’s bad for your poker face.”

<Jo> “Oh come off, I’m not really trying.” *Jo snorts, covering her mouth with a hand before quirking an eyebrow upward* “I’m sure you would have as hard a time as I am in my position.”

<Anna> “Uh huh, right now you couldn’t bluff your way out of a game with a blind man.” *Anna chuckles watching Jo, amusing now at the snort.*

<Jo> *Jo shakes her head in embarrassment before laughing* “Yeah okay, shut up, it’d been a while okay?”

<Anna> “And just what position was you in that put you in that good a mood?” *Anna sits back crossing her arms over her chest watching Jo*

<Jo> “Lets say, I was a little shocked I could get out of bed on my own two feet. We bested our record of.. well, you know.” *Biting down on her lip and waggling an eyebrow, Jo smiles back at the other*

<Anna> *Anna can’t help but hate Jo right now a bit as she laughs.* “Well I’m glad someone got something around here. If I didn’t think it would just piss him off I would circle the bed in iron till Gray gets it through his head he isn’t going too break me.”

<Jo> “I’d offer to help beating that over his head, but I’m pretty sure my own mood and the fact he generally wants to kill me might make that a little hard” *Jo laughs along, reaching to rub at the back of her neck with one hand*

<Anna> “Yes because if he takes his sexual frustrations out on your ass..I am never getting laid again.” *Anna sits there still sulking some but enjoying Jo’s good mood.*

<Jo> “If anything, I think talking to me might make him more frustrated from the kind of no-kill warning .” *Shrugging a shoulder, Jo moves around to the other side of the bed, hopping into the furthest corner down near Anna’s feet* “I could always go hurry up that schoolgirl outfit for you. Claim that he should punish you for running off?”

<Anna> *Anna can’t help but turn red but it might get Gray motivated.* “Yes you should, because if that doesn’t get him then I’m doomed."And then I can blame it all one you when he gets over it.” *Anna sits up shaking her head at Jo.* “Because you’re such a bad influence on me. Coming over and telling me of your sexual conquest.”

<Jo> “You’re going to blame me for your sex life to his face? That might be a few extra spanks.” *Jo lets out a loud laugh, shaking her head and brushing her hair back over her shoulder* “I dont think I needed to even say anything. Like you say, he ruined my pokerface and if that didn’t work I’m sure I have a hickey or two or something like it somewhere. Maybe. I don’t know, Grey doesn’t like marking”

<Anna> “I don’t think what Gray does would be considered hickies.* "Anna chuckles, knowing how much her boy likes to bite. "So is Grey a biter too? Or is that just Gray?”

<Jo> “No, what your guy does is /definitely/ not considered hickies.” *Shifting in her spot, she rubs a hand against her neck, grinning back at Anna* “And no, not in the same way at all but theres definitely teeth action in some spots.”

<Anna> *Anna laughs* “Good think Ellen is a few states over then, you don’t have to worry about covering them up around your mom.”

<Jo> “They’re not exactly anywhere that would be visible unless I was walking around without pants.” *Jo’s grin widens out into a smirk, almost laughing again*

<Anna> “And with you that is a total possibility.” *Anna laughs* “

<Jo> "Possible, but unlikely. ‘least without my being able to cover them with a shirt until I could get the pants back on.”

<Anna> “You know I did notice you walking a lil funny when you came in. Gimped through sex, that’s an achievement Joanna Beth.” *Anna teases her smirking*

<Jo> *Jo flushes brightly, crossing her legs under herself with an attempt at a pissy look* “Like I say, we beat our record. Grey has a thing about one upping himself, which I really am never going to discourage if thats what happens.”

<Anna> *Anna laughs and she sits up more smirking at Jo with an evil amusement.* “I can’t wait till he tries to beat a 24 hour record then because then I’ll know not to panic when you come in a week later walking bowlegged”

<Jo> “He says we can’t just stay in bed because of chaffing, so I’m hoping that’d stop the bowleggedness. Maybe.” *Jo ducks her head down, rubbing a hand against her inner thigh where she can already feel a slightly sore bruise coming through* “Either that, or I’ll just say in bed until the walk is back to normal.”

<Anna> “There maybe nothing normal ever again about your walk if Grey continues a life of beating his own records.” *Anna’s enjoying this far more than she wants to admit, watching Jo look uncomfortable.* “I’m glad Gray doesn’t have that quirk.”

<Jo> “Ah, but not all of what we do will effect my walking, Anna. I’m not the only one who’ll get on my knees.” *Jo flushes brightly, smiling wickedly as she says it knowing Anna’ll probably make a comment but not really caring* “I’ll take getting pleased more and more over what kinks Gray /does/ have.”

<Anna> *Anna raises a brow at Jo and shrugs* “It may not all be just /his/ kinks. And while he might not get on his knees..he’s very good with other parts of his body.” *Running a hand through her hair she looks at the time* “So how soon can you ahve that outfit here?”

<Jo> “Preaching to the choir, Anna.” *Jo shakes her head, looking at Anna curiously before laughing* “I could get it today if I had the right incentive to do so, like you say, there is a costume shop further in city.”

<Anna> *Anna can’t believe she’s saying this but needs to snap Gray out of this mentality that she’s glass right now.* “And just what is the right incentive?”

<Jo> “You tell him I need to speak with him /without/ him laying a hand on me, and I’ll go pick you up one. I have something I need to discuss with him.” *Jo shrugs a shoulder, smiling slightly at Anna actually asking and feeling sort of bad for her through the happy haze*

<Anna> “I’ll tell him but what are you wanting to talk to him about?” *Anna looks curously at Jo, wondering what the other woman could want to say to Gray.“

<Jo> *Shaking her head, Jo pulls a slight face before running a hand through her hair* "Nothing too important, just a follow up to a conversation we had a while ago.”

<Anna> “Uh huh. Just don’t kill each other.” *Anna runs her hand through her hair, she trusts them both but she doesn’t want the fragile peace to end.*

<Jo> “Well, I’ll go get that for you, I’ll get Sophie to bring it up so you can get ready in peace without him potentially popping in on me around, yeah?” *Jo hops up of the bed, wincing slightly to herself before grinning brightly* “You just remember to ask that somewhere in there, okay?”

<Anna> “Anna laughs watching Jo move awkwardly without her usual grace* "Uh huh, and you might want to go soak in a hot tub or you won’t make a second round anytime in the next few weeks.”

<Jo> “I’ll keep that in mind.” *Jo rubs the back of her neck in embarrassment before ducking out the door heading out to keep her end of the bargain with a laugh*

[oscar-isaacs-number-one-bitch]

“The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part” Movie Review

Back on Oscar nomination day in 2014, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences announced the 5 nominees for the Best Animated Feature of the year, and while that list included some crowd favorites like Big Hero 6 and more mature blockbusters like How to Train Your Dragon 2, the largest story that day wasn’t about any of the nominations, but one film that was left out of them. Most pundits and basically any critic who had seen the brilliantly creative, immensely funny, and more-emotionally-affecting-than-it-had-any-right-to-be Lego Movie had it pegged as not only a surefire nominee, but surefire winner of that award, and our jaws were left hanging on the floor at the lack of its mention during the announcement.

Despite that though, The Lego Movie went on to be an animated hit in the homes of people all across the world, two mildly-to-wildly successful spinoffs were launched to critical praise, and the studio immediately began plans for a sequel, with directors Phil Lord & Chris Miller not returning to the project as they were already booked to direct the Solo movie for Lucasfilm (which they were fired from, and then they moved on to Into the Spider-Verse and we all saw how that shook out). Thus, we have The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part, which finds Emmet and the rest of the Lego people 5 years removed from the ending of that first film. Bricksburg has been ravaged and destroyed by the toys of DuPlon, and our heroes now live in Apocalypseburg. But when some of the residents are captured by a mysterious new character from the Sistar system, Emmet must embark on a daring new mission to rescue his friends and prove that he truly is The Special.

I’ve made it no small secret that I love The Lego Movie and thoroughly enjoyed Lego Batman. Lego Ninjago was…fine for me, but I mostly chalked that up to it being very much tied into the popular children’s Ninjago series, which I hadn’t watched. With the direct sequel to the film that birthed them all being not only released but also set 5 years after the original, I was curious to see if the team at Warner Bros. would be able to pull off the same magnificent feat they did in 2014, especially without the direction of Lord & Miller. And, for the most part, they almost do. Much like How to Train Your Dragon 3, I thought Lego Movie 2 was pretty good – just not as good as those initial outings. While there are certainly moments of levity and plenty of jokes from a script by Lord & Miller, something did feel missing in its direction and pacing.

For a start, there are too many musical numbers in this movie. That may seem like a strange thing to say about a Lego movie, especially as a critique to start with over something more significant, but that’s exactly my point. It doesn’t make much sense until one realizes that the studio fell so in love with what worked in the original that they just decided to do that again – but a lot more. Sure, the original film this one is following had an iconic original theme song, and even Lego Batman dabbled a bit in the introduction, but Lego movies are not musicals. Even Tiffany Haddish (who can’t sing very well, as we find out) gets no less than two numbers essentially all to herself, and basically all of them take place in the second act. This not only overcrowds the movie as a whole, but the second act is simply too repetitive. On a story level, that means there’s less time devoted to moving it along rather than just using the same jokes for a little while longer than necessary. They’re not bad jokes, and some of them are actually quite funny, but that zippiness that was so profound in the original film is missing here, giving way to a slightly more elementary-style humor, which follows, considering the director they found to replace Lord & Miller is Mike Mitchell, director of Trolls.

Not only is the second act overly repetitive and reliant on the same jokes, the newer characters added to the franchise aren’t exactly super memorable. None of them leave the lasting impact that a character like a Lego Batman did on the first movie, and there are basically zero interesting cameos throughout (save for one that actually does turn into a pretty hilarious real-world reference joke during the third act). General Mayhem seems to be the stand-in for the Batman character this time around, but apart from capturing the main heroes and transporting them to the Sistar system, there’s really not much else to her until the final couple of minutes and she doesn’t help craft other characters’ development like Batman did for Lucy. In addition to this, the villain this time around (whose name I’m not even going to attempt to type since I’m writing this at almost 2:00 in the morning) might be a more intimidating presence than Lord Business, but she’s not exactly as or more compelling.

One of the things that made Lord Business compelling was his tie-in to the real world that informed the surprise reveal at the end of the original Lego Movie, but while the added-on real-world element to this entry in the series presents a beautiful intent with its message, the actual Lego sections don’t handle telling that message quite as clearly as the first one did its central themes, which makes understanding the villain character in The Second Part more difficult than it honestly should be. Most of the supporting cast that are introduced in this movie aren’t very memorable, which doesn’t bode well for a franchise plan. Even though the Rex Dangervest storyline does go to some pretty ambitious places, he remains sort of a watered-down version of what he’s probably meant to be, and a lot of that is wrapped up in his very convoluted storyline.

Even the animation seems to have taken a bit of a hit; in the original movie, it was made fairly obvious that everything was made of legos, and that was a super cool and innovative way to create an animated movie, but when this sequel gets busy in the Sistar system or with characters not from the Lego world, it becomes difficult to get very invested in the animation, as it no longer carries that particularly unique look. If we’re going to continue to get Lego movies in this vein for a while, spending more time outside of the Lego world than in it is a bad idea. Legos are fun! Spending time in the Lego world should take up the majority of a movie in this franchise, not a minority.

There is a fair amount to like about this movie though; pretty much all the original characters carry the same weight and charm they have since 5 years ago, and the story and themes this movie presents in conjunction with the last one are actually very sweet. Some of the music is actually quite catchy as well, and The Lonely Island come back again with a stellar closing credits sequence. While the direction could have used quite a bit of work, the script by Lord & Miller does what it can to keep the franchise fresh and new, and if nothing else, most of the jokes are funny on first arrival.

It may sound like I’m knocking on this movie too much, but much like How to Train Your Dragon 3 (the superior film between these two, if you’re wondering), I did enjoy it – I just find it to be a bit disappointing as a sequel. That’s the tough part about being a film critic; if you’re reviewing a sequel, talking about the stuff that worked again isn’t nearly interesting as what doesn’t work as well this time around or what works better because that sticks out more, which can make it sound like that’s all you think of the film. With Lego Movie 2, that means telling you that while what worked last time mostly works again this time, there are a few spots that don’t work as well, and that’s okay, if a little bit of a bummer.

“I’m giving The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part” a 7.6/10

[skizmin]

haunted house!au with lee minho

prompt: minho falls in love with the actor that jump scared him inside the haunted house at a carnival

genre: fluff???? would it be anything else???? in my happy angst-makes-me-cry household???? pfft.

for: im sorry this one is lightly gender specific for females!! but the only female not made is about dressing as wendy for a costume party which some of my male readers might be uncomfortable with!! (i didnt even think abt it when writing it bc me and one of my guy friends have respectively gone as peter and wendy to costume parties)

warnings: gore mention stuff but its haunted house costumes, swearing ofc but nothing extreme (no slurs).

yo anyway so minhos one of my three ults wowzas Can He Not?

alright lets get to it

You Are Broke.

your major subject at uni really does cost a lot of money. money you have to provide. it sucks basically

whenever you think abt money you have to hold back tears bc You Have None.

:(((((

sorry anyway

one of your housemates is also broke and loves scouring the internet for quick and easy ways to get money, no matter how crazy they are

one night she comes back with an idea that peaks your interest, probably purely bc your card just got declined ordering a coffee at mcdonalds

“y/n you HAVE to do this one!!!!!”

you sigh like “if its selling my sub topic notes online again, im not doing it. i didnt even know someone could be so harsh about highlighter use???”

your housemate is all pfft im not putting you thru that again

“no!! basically, you get $80 to show up for 2 and 1/2 hours at the haunted house place at that carnival nearby!! dude we gotta, its just to scare the fuck outta people and we can like!! cover ourselves in blood!! n stuff!!”

at first your mind was like lmfao 2&1/2 hours at a haunted house?? no fuckin way

but then you remembered your job only paid you $14.78 an hour so you were doubling your pay in half the amount of time

“when?”

“20 minutes, get out a creepy white dress or something that looks creepy that you can get dirty.”

you fricken ran to your room

you ended up getting a cheap nightgown that you bought to dress up as wendy from peter pan to a costume party, it cost like $2 you really werent sad to see it go

“y/n!! hurry up!! they have makeup there!!”

you bolted out the front door in your nightgown, runners and a big coat with nothing but your wallet phone and keys in your pocket

you were really broke and desperate, youd already accepted it

when you got to the carnival you were in awe, it had been a fair few years since your last one and the colours and lights and pounding music and laughter just

wow, carnivals are so pretty

the guy running the haunted house came in and let you guys in so you didnt pay admission and quickly sat you down at some tables and told you you could do the makeup yourself or got someone else to

you, feeling daring and thinking fuck it, im gonna make the haunted house goers shit their pants, decided to do your own makeup

to pair with your blue nightgown you simply gave yourself extremely dark and sullen eyes with the power of purple eyeshadow, you paled out your lips and gave yourself a lil nosebleed, and on top of that you painted a random creepy looking symbol on your forehead in blood, blackening it our a little with an eyeliner pen to make it seem like it was cut open.

you were lowkey proud of your work

okay now it was show time, you were briefed on where in the house you could stay and you were told how to act and basic rules (no touching, get help if theyre freaking out too much, etc)

so now, you were in the dimly lit narrow hallways of this makeshift house when you heard the tell tale screams of your housemate meaning theres a group coming and theyd just attempted to jump scare them

you hid behind a black sheet, disguised as a wall, before your victims came up through your hallway

you heard some talk of “felix you know its fake, calm down.” before you saw some shadows pass by

the group was big, maybe 10 people? you werent sure, but you went forward with your plan anyway

just after theyd passed your hiding place, you stepped out from behind them and stood idly and innocently in the centre of the corridor before you put your head down and started whistling a nursery rhyme

you heard a few gasps and a few squeaks before you looked up with an unreadable expression

you saw them looking at you and some of the guys ushered some of the others away though one guy stood there looking at you strangely

you just tilted your head at him before taking your OPERATION: SCARE mission a step farther

bringing your hands up to your ears you let out a ear piercing scream and squeezed your eyes shut before running through the group and turning the corner at the end of the small corridor

you heard a soft what the fuck was that and a less soft language! before you turned and waited for them to turn the corner

as they were walking up the corridor however (theyd resolved to moving with just shuffles of their feet) you heard a new voice speak up. it was somewhat playful and honeydew like, especially with the phrase “not gonna lie, they were really fucking pretty.” which was followed by a chorus of “miNHO”’s and “thIs iS NoT The TiME bUddY” and “i think felix is crying”

you were taken aback

did he mean that? was that the one looking at you earlier? what the frick?

you were still blanking out, completely flabbergasted even when the group turned the corner

of course, you were unprepared, you planned to scream a loud “GET OUT!” to them but all that left your mouth was a squeak as you met eyes with the stranger again, red flushing up your neck

you ran away quickly, ducking into one of the rooms dressed up to look like a metal asylum holding centre

“hyung wtf theyre the scariest one yet”

“you guys go ahead, ill be there in a second”

“hyuNG YOURE GONNA GET KILLED DONT YOU WATCH HORROR MOVIES YOU NEVER SPLIT UP!”

“let go jisungie, hyunjins looking at you like you disgust him right now”

a chorus of laughs echoed through the hall

why was honeydew voice not going ahead?

your cheeks were still kinda red as you waited, listening for the male to go away

you slowly inched towards the doorway of the small room you were in, the flashing light behind you somewhat hindering your senses as you peeked through the shredded and knotted white sheet hanging from the top of the doorway but you couldnt see anyo-

“BOO!” “HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FUCK” you scReAmed and jumped backwards, only to hear some cakcling from behind the sheet where the boy from earlier had appeared

“WHAT THE HECK KNUCKLES DUDE!”

“heck knuckles?”

“DONT JUDGE ME MY HEART IS BEATING A MILLION MILES PER HOUR RIGHT NOW”

“hmm? really?” you looked up to see the boy smirking playfully at you. 

he looks like a cat

“aH yeAh??? you just scared the crap out of me!!!1!1!!!” you huffed, amused by him behaviour. you heartbeat still hadnt calmed down

“oh? you sure it wasnt just from looking at me?” he leaned in slightly, making the question seem innocent

“mmhm, youre that ugly that i flew halfway across a room.” though the comment was monotonous and you had a bored look in your eyes, it was purely for bantering

“nice try pumpkin, nice try. anyway, when do you finish with the whole im an ugly ghost coming to kill you thing? youre terrible at it by the way.”

your breath hitched and a blush came up your neck

“o-okay listen here, uh, boy! 1, i am Not a Pumpkin. 2, i dont know you. 3, im fucking amazing at this ask your friends and 4, i dont know you” you awkwardly coughed at the end

he furrowed his eyebrows at you “its minho, and the whole point is i want to get to know you.” he beamed at you after this

you felt lightheaded honestly, it was all happening very quickly under weird circumstances

but still, you muttered back to him a soft “i get off at 10:30″

he smiled wider, triumphantly, “10:30?”

you nodded and he took a couple of steps back, out of the room

“see you then i guess!” at this, he winked, before he jogged off to find his friends

you fell back against a wal

lwhat the frick frack paddy whack just happened?

you sighed, hearing the screeching and slam of a metal door, knowing you had to get back to scaring others

like,,, @ 10:33

you had all your stuff and you were walking out from behind the haunted house set up, waiting for your housemate

you honestly didnt think youd see minho. no guy is that persistent, right?

wrong.

“h-hey!!! demon child person!!!” you looked up at this

who the fuck just called me demon child person 

you saw him and holy shit

the haunted house was dark with red lighting in some places and flashing blinding white lights in others, you saw minho and you saw what he looked like, but wow, he was so much clearer now

he was absolutely gorgeous

the carnival lights against his tan skin, his dark hair, his skinny black jeans and big parka coat? you were absolutely mesmerised

suddenly you realised you were staring and he was standing right in front of you

“o-oh, uh, hi?” you could already feel the red on your cheeks

“mm, hey, wanna hang out for a bit?” he smiled at you, you saw a tinge of red on his nose from the cold

“oh, actually i uh, i came with my housemate and-”

“anD THEY’D LOVE TO GO!!” 

suddenly your housemate was next to you, throwing an arm over your shoulder and telling you to get home safely and asking you to not be too loud before shes nudging you closer to the attractive minho boy and speed walking off

“i gotta say, i like your housemate” minho looked to you with a wide smile. “should we get you some food first?”

you offered him a meek smile and shyly nodded. which he laughed at

“alright then, lets go!” he gripped you lightly by the elbow and led you through the crowd, passing some speedy and tall and colourful rides. you decided to speak up.

“sooo... after you get food, whatd you wanna do?” minho made a contemplating sound before simply saying “i dont mind, i just want to get to know you.”

oh

“uh, okay then, well uh, what do you wanna know?” “to be honest, a name would be great.” minho laughed goodheartedly, you saw the apples of his cheeks rise up and his nose scrunching slightly

“oH! riGht! im uh, im y/n”

this time he turned to you “y/n?” you nodded. “thats a pretty name, it matches you.”

you turned away mumbling a thanks before you realised he’d called you pretty

“woAh wait whAt??? do you?? have no shame??”

this time he giggled

giggled

oh my god your heart practically stopped especially when he steered you to a table for the both of you to sit down

“y/n, i dont know if you noticed but i basically sorta asked you out like 2 hours ago while you were trying to scare me dressed as a demonic creepy child, a really fucking cute one at that, you need to teach me how to do that im in awe. but yeah and then now we’re here on a spontaneous first date which i have no clue what im doing for and i really dont know you at all apart from you act in a haunted house which is pretty interesting but you were just that pretty that i stayed behind in a haunted house to talk to you. now ask yourself again, does minho ever feel ashamed of his blatantly obvious attempts at flirting? the answer however is: when it comes to you? no, never.”

he was smiling proudly at his little monologue whilst you were catching flies in your open mouth

“you...are actually the cheesiest person ive ever fucking met.”

minho laughs once again.

“honestly, ill give you all the compliments in the world if it means youll give me your number or something, even the ones that arent true”

you leaned over the table and slapped his arm lightly, grumbling under your breath about fliritng getting you nowhere in life

he simply rested his elbow on the table and his cheek in his hand, gazing at you and asking you what food you wanted

you ended up being so strung in by his his gorgeous eyes and soft looking cheeks that he had to call your name 3 times and repeat the question

bonus:

after eating some gross junk food and watching the midnight fireworks, minho bought you both fairyfloss and insisted on walking you home saying “its what anyone in their right mind would do” 

you walked along, him explaining his fear of heights and you explaining your situation of brokeness where you take almost any opportunity available

along the way he slinked his fingers through yours and placed them in the pocket of his big parka coat, smiling at you as you ducked your head to look at the ground, where youd started kicking your feet out extra to distract yourself from the affectionate gesture and calm the burning of your cheeks

when you arrived at your house, you fought over who should eat the leftover fairy floss.

you viciously shoved it into his hand, 

“you paid for it and you walked me home even though its late and cold, you keep it.”

minho looked like he was going to fight back for a minute before his eyes lit up

“ill take it on one condition, i get to feed a piece to you.” he beamed at you and you looked at him confused and skeptic

“uhhh, okay i guess?”

he picked a piece off of the stick and held it in front of you, you opened your mouth for it and he placed it in

before it could melt and you could smile at him however, you felt his hand on your cheek and a hand on your lower back tugging you forward to rest his lips on yours, moving his lips against them a total of three times before pulling back

“i know i shouldve asked, but id buy you fairy floss every day if i got to do that once.”

you were a stuttering mess, your mind was fuzzy, you missed the feeling of him so close to you already

“uh-i, i um. wow uh yeah. uhhh, yeah no its fine i um,,,, i didnt mind it actually. wait no, i uh, i really liked it?”

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

minho is BEAMING OH MY GOD

biggest smile of the century goes to lee minho, born in 1998

youre so red it isnt funny and he just moves the hand that was on your cheek to loosely grab at your fingers

“mm, okay then y/n, maybe if you wash the fake blood off of your face and text me ill kiss you again, for as long as you want.”

if your face was red before

oh god

oh god

you squeaked and nodded as he chuckled, lightly kissing your cheek before backing away

“get some sleep y/n, and message me tomorrow.” with that, he was walking away, leaving you to enter your house and be greeted by a squealing housemate who had witnessed the whole thing

(you took minho up on that offer, and he did kiss you, and it was longer, and it was great until his friend chris walked into minhos living room and saw you both and started screaming about keeping it PG because there were (17 yr old) kids around.)

finish! hope you like it!!

[curly-q-reviews]

ROAD TO THE OSCAR MAYER WIENER AWARDS 2K19

The Ballad of Buster Scruggs, 2018 (dir. Joel Coen, Ethan Coen)

Nominated for: Best Original Song, Best Costume Design, Best Adapted Screenplay

SPOILER ALERT THAR BE SPOILERS AHEAD ME HEARTIES BE YE WARNED

wowee what a cool film!!  i went into this not knowing much about it except it was directed by the Coen brothers (directors of Fargo and The Big Lebowski) which set real high expectations for me.  these guys are real masters of storytelling and what immediately come to mind when i think of movies that know how to effectively use dark humor.  i also love the kinds of stories they tell in general, how they take subjects and settings that seem kinda mundane and just give them this little extra spark. 

so is this newest film just as good as their other work???  well id say yeah for sure!!!  it reminds me a lot of a film they did shortly after The Big Lebowski called O Brother, Where Art Thou?, because theyre both period pieces AND because they both feature a myriad of eclectic and interesting characters.  the one thing that makes The Ballad of Buster Scruggs really stand out from their other films however is the fact that this is actually an anthology made up of six different stories, all set during the same time period in The Wild West.  its also worth mentioning that this movie was made to premiere on Netflix, which is something ive started to see more and more as the streaming platform becomes the new go-to source of media content.  its very exciting to see such prolific directors go the Netflix route and have great success with it, because it means that the platform really is capable of creating high-quality movies and TV shows and working with big-name talent.  im sure the big hollywood production companies are all quaking in their lil booties cause this means big BIG changes are on the horizon

ok so ive reviewed anthology series before, notably Black Mirror, and with those reviews i ranked the short stories in order of least to most favorite.  so i guess in this case ill do the same, although its hard to really rank these cause i truly enjoyed all of them in different ways.  there was one however that didnt really tickle my fancy much, which was “Near Algodones”.  this one stars james franco as a bank robber who seems to have met his match in a fiery (probably crazy) bank teller.  he gets caught and hung from a tree by the town’s sheriff, but nearly manages to escape death when a Native American tribe swoops in and kills the sheriff and his crew.  james franco is saved by a cattle driver, only to be caught again by the next town’s sheriff for allegedly trying to hawk the cattle (which was not the case at all).  right before they kick the chair out from under him at the hanging, he sees a beautiful woman in blue, who at first smiles at him but then looks unnerved as he stares back at her. 

i think with this one the ending really didnt do much for me, i kinda didnt get it.  i did understand the whole irony behind surviving punishment for a crime he DID commit but getting hanged for a crime he never committed, and the bank teller was pretty hilarious, but everything else about the segment was just ok.  james franco didnt really blow me away (he never really does but thats besides the point), the rest of the performances were fine, and the story just kinda zipped on through.  maybe ill give this one another watch to see if the ending makes any more sense to me, or if theres any sense to be made from it at all

next up for me would be “The Gal Who Got Rattled”, and this segment i have mixed feelings over.  its about this brother and sister who set out on the Oregon trail so that the brother can get his sister to marry his business partner in Oregon.  the sister seems like a kind of wishy-washy, subdued character who just kinda goes along with whatever her brother says without giving much of her own opinion.  i gotta give credit to zoe kazan (who starred in The Big Sick) cause she does a great job with this character, totally spot-on performance.  ok so turns out the brother is a fucken HORRIBLE businessman who screws up all his business deals all the time, and he tragically dies like two days into being on the oregon trail.  he has this annoying-ass dog that barks all the time and everyone else on the caravan is sick of it, so when the brother dies the sister just lets one of the trail leaders put it down.  turns out the sister like did not like her brother at all but was always too afraid to say anything.  now getting back to the bad businessman thing, apparently he had promised the helper boy that is helping move their covered wagon a large sum of money, half of it halfway through the journey and the rest when they get to oregon.  problem is, the sister doesnt have the money, so it was either left in the brothers pocket when he was buried or there wasnt actually any money at all and he lied, y’know, like a bad businessman does.  the trail leader who put the annoying dog down offers to help her, and the two start to get close.  so now its like a pseudo love story thing.  except it ends pretty tragically (the sister dies its a long story and pretty ironic just watch it if u wanna know)

so uuuhhhhh this one was long as shit, like a lot longer than the other segments when it didnt really need to be???  like it just kept  going and going, and again the ending didnt really make up for how long it was.  i really liked zoe kazan in this, but otherwise nothing to write home about. 

number four on my list would have to go to “All Gold Canyon”, which basically just follows the story of a gold miner in the mountains trying to get that money honey.  this segment is the simplest one out of the bunch, but i gotta say its absolutely gorgeous.  what beautiful scenery and cinematography.  it provides a nice contrast to our disheveled, run-down gold miner who is just tearing up the beautiful grassy fields trying to get to this gold.  there seems to be a theme in this one of man’s relationship to nature, and how the gold miner does put in effort to respect it but still takes advantage of it for his own benefit.  and i guess theres a broader theme of greed, or the ruthless and endless pursuit of wealth which can drive people to do crazy and desperate things.  i definitely really enjoyed this one, especially the gold miner character played by tom waits.  but otherwise it didnt stand out as much to me as the other segments im gonna talk about

SPEAKING OF WHICH heres number three!!  “The Mortal Remains” is right up my alley, and has some more mythical elements to it than the other segments ive talked about so far.  so we have a wagon full of passengers all going to this hotel for various reasons, and its a really diverse cast of characters: we have the older wife of a prolific religious lecturer, a rich Frenchman, a trapper, a foppish Englishman, and a cheery laid-back Irishman, the last two seeming to be companions of some sort.  they all get on the topic of the true nature of mankind, and the three characters opposite of the strange pair all have something different to say.  the trapper believes that all people are inherently the same, with the same basic needs.  the older woman disagrees and insists that there are two kinds of people, upright and sinning.  and then the Frenchman says that both of them are wrong, that human existence is much more complicated and nuanced than that; no one persons life is exactly the same as another’s.  and then we have the Englishman and the Irishman, who turn out to be bounty hunters of some sort (is heavily alluded that they are grim reaper-type figures).  they explain their method of completing their kills, and talk about how they enjoy watching their victims “try to make sense of it all” in their death throes.  these two clearly have a much more cold and sinister idea of the nature of mankind, and the rest become very unsettled all the way to the hotel.  no one else even dares to step out of the carriage while the bounty hunters drag their latest victim through the front entrance and up the stairs.

oh man this segment was great!  i think the reason its third on my list is cause i really wish there was more to it, like if the Coen brothers spent more time on this one instead of “The Gal Who Got Rattled” it would be perfect.  Jonjo O’Neill and Brendan Gleeson as the bounty hunters were so enthralling, and i loved watching them play off of each other.  hell, i couldve had a whole movie featuring those two.  and the screenwriting really shines in this segment too.  this segment almost feels like a fable or something, which is really fitting for the time period.  makes me wonder if they had based it off of an actual fable.  but anyway yeah this ones awesome!

i had a hard time choosing between “The Mortal Remains” and this next segment for second place cause i liked them both equally, but in the end “Meal Ticket” gets #2 purely because of the utterly fantastic performance by Harry Melling, who plays a quadriplegic actor in a traveling show run by liam neesons character, an irish traveling entertainer.   the story itself is really simple, we just see this disabled actor be carted from one town to the next, doing the same stage show which is basically just him reciting famous prose throughout the ages.  meanwhile liam neeson is trying to get as much money as he can out of the audience members.  he doesnt interact much with harry melling outside of feeding him and helping him piss and get dressed.  u get the sense that he doesnt really see his disabled actor as an actual person, but more of an entertaining object or a pet.  and this becomes even more apparent when the irishman gets some competition from another traveling entertainer who has a chicken that can do math.  he sees this chicken getting more money than him, so he buys it off of the other guy and takes it with him.  and finally, the poor limbless actor is literally and figuratively tossed aside for the next best thing.

man oh man what a great segment!  harry melling blew me away with his performance, the fact that he was able to get such a nuanced range of emotion out of the few lines he was given (basically he had to recite the same shit over and over again) was so impressive to me.  and his non-verbal communication was really solid too.  liam neeson did really well in his role too.  and again the story itself is really great, simple but effective and really gets the point across without having to beat the audience over the head with its message. OH YEAH ITS REAL GOOD LOVE IT

and finally we have my #1 pick, which i think the directors knew this was the best one out of the bunch too cause its the first segment as well as the title of the whole movie.  “The Ballad of Buster Scruggs” has that signature Coen brothers wit and dark humor that i love, it plays off of typical Western movie tropes and is very tongue-in-cheek and i ate that shit up.  tim blake nelson as the titular buster is just so fucken perfect for this role, he really shines in this and its kind of a shame that its one of the shorter segments cause it really is the best one and he knocks it out of the park.  we got some great music in this segment too, which is where that Best Original Song nom comes in.   this one also has some strong fable-y vibes to it, like this story could be amongst the likes of American folklore like Paul Bunyan and Johnny Appleseed.  i wont get much into the plot of this one but i highly recommend watching it, even if you dont wanna see the rest of the segments. 

the segments fit together pretty well overall, although the tone of each of them differs slightly the fact that the setting and time period are the same is enough to firmly knit all these stories together.  its a really unique idea for a movie, and is so far the best attempt at an anthology movie that ive ever seen purely because the stories really all make sense together and play off of each other well.  in other anthology movies ive seen like The ABC’s of Death the segments usually dont have much at all to do with each other, except that they all fall in the same genre.  so overall id say give this a watch, especially if ur a Coen brothers fan, cause theres some real good stuff in here.

well thats all i got for now cowboys!!  i watched Roma the other day and CRIED REAL HARD so get ready for me to kiss that movies ass in a review that should be done in the next few days.  until then go uuhhhhhh lasso a cow or something.  chew some tobaccy.  fondle a barmaids titties.  die of dysentery.  y’know just old west things~

[ilygsd]

odfidk: 140818 - 1

ok so i really want to talk to a therapist but i wont be comfortable explaining my life story if theyre white. i just want help cus im always so tired but no one helps. ive been angry, fighting my whole life but no one cares. i came as an angry anxious baby. i was furious when i was adopted. i was screaming all the time,  abandoned multiple times just to be bought by these white foreigners i didnt even understand. but no one cared. no one knew how to handle my loss and pain, and my dad’s emotionally abusive as it is, making me grow up, feeling like theres smth wrong with me. that im just an annoying angry kid by default or smth, while my sister was the perfect one. thats why i always protected her. thats why i always stood up against his accusations,  guilt tripping and anger. because my little sister was too afraid and i was already labelled as the problematic kid. but im tired. she’s fkn 15. after all the things ive done for her the least she gan do is ask me how im feeling fromt time to time. my whole family knows ive been depressed for like 2 years and the only one who cares is my mom who just survived a 7 year old long ptsd. i hear from her that my sister appreciates it but i never get anything from her. i dont feel appreciated in this family at all. im still the angry annoying sjw and nothing i say will ever be taken seriously by our dad cus hes a master of making both me, my sister and mom (probably brothers too but they fkn abandoned us a long time ago those pussies, leaving 10 year old me to fend for me and lil sis all on my own while our parents were divorcing, mom was suicidal, dad abusive and economy crashing) feel like shit. their divorce was probably my first trigger factor. it took me 2,5 years, i was 4 the first time i dared to let go of my parents. first time they could leave me out of sight without me being ”annoying and screaming” aka having a fucking panic attack. their divorce was another abandonment, another trauma and i never learnt how to get over that either.

yesterday i was crying in the bathroom for 2 hours straight bc my family doesnt love me, i get out and no one cares. i literally told my dad he wouldnt care if i died yesterday and he didnt react. he fkn closed the balcony door bc he didnt want the neighbors to hear me ”so angry and upset”. i yelled at him that when i commit suicide its going to be his fault but hes so narcissist and dumb he doesnt understand. so i threw smth and destroyed smth and tHEN he reacted. i love having to use unhealthy techniques like suicide threats and murdering threats to get a reaction. i once did that and this ex friend threatened to report me to the police for murder threat. her mom even called my boyfriends mom to warn them of me but she didnt even call my mom??? she didnt care abt the fact that next to my ”i want to kill everyone. dream of murdering my family” i also wrote ”i want to kill myself”. dont remind me of this though. im not proud of it. i know its weong to manipuqlte like this but no one teached me how to deal with my feelings and avandonemnt issues in a healthy way. and so i’ve took after my dad and turned into this controlling emtoionally abuser, all bottled up, constantly angry and sad, guilt tripping and manipulating the people im supposed to love in fear of them abandoning me. and i will always hate the world for making me suffer like this. 

i just want to rest. im tired of always fighting for something as basic as love and safety. i never got over the loss of mom and culture and people. and i lost every sense of safety i had built up during my adoptive parents divorce and older brothers leaving. and im unhappy, im always unhappy because i miss my mom and culture and people so much. i feel misplaced and lost. the only thing keeping me alive being the thought of one day going back to china. the only thing keeping me alive is the thought of being able to actually help people with my experiences and knowledge, to help other international transracial adoptees or maybe fight for chinese womens rights or smth. thats the only thing. if my life turns out like.... nothing i’ve been suffering in vain. if im never going to be happy ive been suffering for nothing. ive tried so hard in my life but nothing works. im cursed. i really am cursed but not only do people leave me im also incapable of feeling other peoples love. i cant feel other peoples love because the only love i want is my mothers. my REAL mother, my ACTUAL mother, the chinese mother society loves to shame and make me forget because you all see her as a threat to my white parents claim over me.

the only difference between me and all those other ”normal” adoptees (aka my little sister) is that they’re whitewashed to death by their family, probably even more emotionally abused than i was and also they’ve repressed their feelings and trauma and I AM THE VERY REASON ADOPTEES DO THAT. ME AND ADOPTEES OVERREPRESENTATION IN SUICIDE STATISTICS ARE THE REASONS BECAUSE ITS GOING TO KILL YOU. my abortion and friend-break up was the last trigger before i exploded but believe me, it would have happened sooner or later anyways. my whole life has been a trigger. however many adoptees live their whole lives without ever waking up from this pretty little perfect sunshine story their parents and society had told them. there’s a reason so many adoptees are whitewashed to death and hates your disrespectful nosy questions. its a survival technique. we know that if we want to survive a life with our background conditions, then we have to repress our feelings concerning our adoption and everything associated with it. its not conciously, ITS A DEFENSE MECHANISM. and we get so much shit for it, which is understandable because many adoptees are fucking racist asshats. but you need to fucking understand that its because they’ve learnt to hate themselves and their own people. they’re TERRIFIED of being associated with immigrants and people of color because they know their white racist parents secretely hate them and actually secretely hate them too. all they want is love, they dont know anything else. it sucks to argue with a 40 year old adoptee of color though who’s still racist and whitewashed af, thats just sad and i would love to focus more on younger adoptees and help and support them through their ”awakening”. the awakening is much like learning about sexism or racism and how its ingrained in everything and practiced by your family and friends. just 100x worse cus you realize your family isnt even your family and you’re all alone in your thoughts, feelings, experiences and eventual search.

and adoptive parents and adoption organisations need to take fucking respnsobility for once without blaming everything on our traumatic past. you’re not ready to adopt non-white kids with trauma. you’re not educated enough and you placing us in all-white countries and neighborhoods, with problematic and abusive parents will not help. and im not speaking for myself, im speaking for ALL international transracial adoptees. im tired of hearing ”but your sister”, ”but my daughter is not”, ”my son doesnt care” WELL AS I SAID THEY DONT CARE BECAUSE YOU’VE NEVER GIVEN THEM THE CHANCE OR REASON TO CARE. IVE SACRIFICED MYSELF FOR MY SISTER. IVE FOUGHT OUR PARENTS, IVE TOLD THEM I HATE THEM, IVE DONE EVERYTHING I COULD TO TEST THEM, MY MOM WAS SUFFERING FROM PTSD AND I WAS THE MOST ANNOYING PROBLEMATIC KID EVER BECAUSE 1. I DIDNT KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH MY PAIN AND 2. TO SEE IF THEY WOULD FINALLY HAVE ENOUGH AND LEAVE ME. I DID THAT BECAUSE I COULDNT LIVE WITH THE CONSTANT FEAR OF ONE DAY HAVING THEM GROW TIRED OF ME AND ABANDON ME. I WANTED THEM TO BECAUSE THEIR DIVORCE WAS AVANDOBMENT ENOUGH. I DID THAT BECAUSE MY KIND LITTLE QUIET SISTER WOULD NEVER HAVE THE COURAGE TO. SHE WOULD NEVER DARE TO STAND UP AGAINST OUR DAD OR QUESTION THEIR BAD PARENTING AND UNDEDUCATION WHEN IT COMES TO RACISM/ADOPTION INDUSTRY BECAUSE SHES SCARED. SHE HATES CONFLICTS AND FIGHTS BECAUSE THOSE ARE THINGS THAT TRIGGERS HER. SHE GETS TRIGGERED BY FIGHTS AND I GET TEIGGERED WHEN PEOPLE IGNORE ME BECAUSE SHES AVOIDANT AND IM ATTACKING. I WANT TO FIGHT BC THATS HOW I FEEL PPL CARE. WHEN MY DAD WALKS OUT ON ME WHEN I TRY TO FIGHT OR SAY SOMETHING THATS MY BIGGEST TRIGGER. WHEN I FIGHT WITH MT BF AND HE DOESNT ANSWER MY TEXTS OR HE SUDDENLY HUNGS UP ON ME THATS THE BIGGEST TRIGGER. MY SISTER WOULD HUNG UP BC SHE WOULD FIND SOMEONE LIKE ME SCARY BUT WE ALL GET TRIGGERED BY DIFFERENT THINGS. WHAT WE HAVE IN COMMON THOUGH IS OUR TRUSMA AND OUR ABANDOMENT ISSUES. SHES ALSO AFRAID OF BEING ABANDONED, WE ALL FUCKING ARE, MANY OF US JUST DONT KNOW IT YET BECAUSE OUR PARENTS ARENT EQUIPPED TO HANDLE KIDS WITH TRAUMA. I KNOW BECAUSE I LOVE POLITICS AND SOCIAL JUSTICE SO I EDUCATED MY OWN GOD DAMN SELF. MY SISTER LOVES NATURAL SCIENCE SO SHE DOESNT KNOW A SHIT SHE DOESNT EVEN KNOW WHAT A BISEXUAL IS AND SHES FKN 15, SHES AWESOME AT NATURAL SHIT AND THATS IT. I KNOW BECAUSE IVE ACTIVELY SOUGHT INFORMATION ABOUT IT BUT NOT EVERYONE DOES. NO ONE HELPED ME. EVERYTHING IVE LEARNT AND EVERYTHING I KNOW IS THANKS TO MY OWN GOD DAMN SELF. ADOPTIVE PARENTS DONT KNOW SHIT ABOUT RACISM OR TRAUMAS. MY MOM UNDERSTANDS BECAUSE SHES A FUCKING PSYCHOLOGIST, BUT IF I DIDNT COME UP WITH THESE THEORIES ON MY OWN SHE NEVER WOULD. SHE TELLS ME NOW AT AGE 19 THAT ADOPTING ME, SEEING ME SCREAMING FOR DEAR LIFE AS I WAS HANDED OVER FELT WRONG. SHE FELT LIE SHE WAS TAKING ME, THAT IT WAS INHUMANE. AND NOW SHE KNEW WHY. BECAUSE IT WAS FUCKING WRONG AND INHUMANE. SHE WOULD NEVER HAVE COME TO THAT CONCLUSION IF I DIDNT PUSH HER WITH MY KNOWLEGE. IM THE ONE EDUCATING MY PARENTS AND ITS ONLY MY MOM LISTENING AND SINCE SHES WHITE AND NOT ADOPTED HERSELF SHES STILL ONLY ABLE TO UNDERSTAND LIKE 50% OF IT

i honestly dont get enough appreciation in this family. the only thinkers in this family is me, my mom and one of my brothers. but fuck him as i said, he abandoned us during their divorce and he’s been absent all my teenage years. we could have been close, he could have helped me bc he also suffered from depression. he gould have protected me like i proteced my little sister but he didnt. maybe it was the age gap or the fact that me and my sister are adopted while he and our other brother isnt, we’ll never know. all i know is that unlike my other brother and our dad he’s not completely unfamiliar with what racism, sexism and capitalism is. he’s not dumb and empty. he got a brain and he would be capable of understanding these things just like mom if he wanted to. but its been so many years, he’s fucking 28 and he betrayed me that bitch.

i really dont get enough appreciation. no one ever tells me they love me or appreciate my brain since im the only one analyzing shit. my mom does too but only personal and psycholgy shit never society or groups like oppression and structures and systems. im the only one doing that and im good at it. i always see patterns and i know my politics very well so i can easily see what kind of ideology people have. but i never get credit for it. im still just the lazy kid while my sister get cred for..... idk studying and working our and being didciplined. also ive been through mich more than anyone in this family. my mom and brother has also been through shit, i mean okay ALL OF them have because all people go through shit, but ive LEARNT things and they havent. they’ve repressed it or ignored it. only my mom and brother have also learnt but they never talk. my brother is avodiant like my sister. he never talks. hes quiet to himself and thinks. my mom talks but shes still a pussy