#there's something in this that reminds me of HYYH era bts | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

krysphycookiez · 4 years ago

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bts | you as the female maknae

synopsis: you’ve become the female maknae of the famous worldwide sensation bts! let’s see how well you get along with these crackhead boys

genre: fluff, platonic, imagines

pairing: bts x maknae!reader

a/n: nothing much to be said except i pulled this out of my ass to make content for all y’all

❣︎

the moment seokjin saw you he already claimed you as his child, no questions asked

even though you’re only like- a year younger than jungkook, he babies you WAY more than him, and you don’t mind really

he would take you to do some of his favorite things with him like cook or even clean the dorms

also if anyone hurts you in any way, shape or form they are getting their shit rocked by seokjin’s- rather colorful vocabulary

also nags you a lot, especially during your early debut days when you were still in school

he just doesn’t want you to be lost in life that’s all, and he shows that really well

he raised you very well since your debut with him and the boys and he just wants you to be happy

definitely favors you a lot more than the others and the bias is super obvious. he once bought you a shit ton of snacks for your birthday and the rest of the members were shocked af

this of course means you bicker a lot with him like jungkook, the two of you even sometimes team up to go against your hyung

but he also knows when you’re feeling down because his parent instincts kick in, he knows when you’re feeling down the dumps so he does something to cheer you up

whether it’s make you crack up with a stupid dad joke or buy your favorite drink, he’d do anything for his baby

definitely screams a lot when he’s with you too

like- y’all can’t hide how much of a pissbaby the two of you are, that’s easily demonstrated in that one run bts episode with the zombies

overall he’s like an older brother to you and despite the bickering, he still luvs you so much

yoongi is soft for you and you only

definitely let’s you sleep with him in his bed when you have a nightmare, because he’s an expert at bedtime cuddles

also let’s you mess around in his production studio, and maybe even lets you help him compose a few tracks

if you aren’t a rapper he probably teaches you some basics about rapping and later on becomes a proud dad when you show off in front of the other members

he also probably makes tae jealous too lmao, give the boy some love

if you’re upset or angry at the other members he’s one of two members that can calm you down, just because he’s really calm and knows how to handle your emotions

also definitely spoils you with snacks and drinks too

and he’s also the reason why you develop led your evil maknae side

back then you were so shy and pure but then he came into your life with his savage ways and sarcastic remarks. he rubbed off of you too much

also if anyone dares to hurt you he’s throwing hands. this bitch is really scary, he will give haters a death glare if they even LOOK at you

you definitely cling onto him like a baby sloth at times when you’re in the clingy mood, and he just kinda lets you hang onto him until you go to another member

and he also teases you at times to when he’s feeling pretty bold

such as your height or your age and this sometimes leads to insult battles, it’s a 50/50 win for the most part

for the most part, yoongi is like your cool uncle and he will cut a bitch if someone even lays a finger on you in a threatening way

when you and hoseok are put together in the same room, nothing but sunshine and happiness radiates form the two of you

both of you are the residential mood makers of bts, and it really shows

back then when you were really shy, hoseok was the first to approach you and ever since then you’ve become a happy ball of fluff

he definitely hugs you a lot and does a lot of aegyo with you, or even hug you to show that you’re not alone

if you buy him sprite he’ll go nuts

this man loves his energetic drink and he will forever love someone who gets him that monstrous drink

you probably tried to give him monster energy at one point but he complained about the battery acid taste

LOVES spoiling you with gifts, try not to let him spoil you too much or the other members might get jealous

when you’re feeling under the weather he will be there in a flash to make sure you’re well enough and give you some chocolate to make you a bit happier

will shower you with love and affection at all times- especially on vlive cause he wants to make sure you’re loved

and you are trust me

you remind him of a happy little puppy and he just thinks it’s the most adorable thing ever cause he likes animals

and also he definitely will throw hands at haters- this man is scary when he’s mad

he’s like an equivalent to an older brother to you and it’s so endearing

take namjoon’s being done with the members bullshit 24/7 tendencies and mutiply that by 100 when he’s with you

you always do the most random shit around him its hilarious. whether it’s playing with his hair or just clinging onto him a lot

of course he still loves you he just always looks tired when you start being you

also definitely has helped you with your homework in the past cause he’s too smart for his own good

you once asked him to help you help with a cell mode project cause it was supposed to be big but yours just looked like an oversized bean

he thought it was adorable and funny so he helped you

also you go on beach walks with him when in a country with beaches, prolly looking for crabs too lol

you have definitely crashed one of his studio vlives and did something random, like how tae did

when you’re feeling sick he along with seokjin will nurture you back to health. he gets the medicine and stuff while seokjin makes you a nice warm meal

you have definitely made jokes where you are their child and they are the parents at it always results in a hell from the older male

you have probably given him a few ideas on some of the popular tracks like pied piper and black swan

you have a creative mind so when namjoon is feeling blank he turns to you for help, hell you even helped a lot with the hyyh era

and he’s also at ease when he’s around you because you smell like roses- sounds a little weird but it’s the smell of a lovely flower

namjoon would like to care for you like your a kid or his own little sister and be your guardian angel

first thoughts when you both saw each other; omg so cute

you and jimin are such sofies for each other it’s so adorable, always clinging onto each other and just being two puppies

of course that can always switch and the two of you can become such a petty and savage duo

the members definitely tease you two the most due to your smaller heights, which the worked the two of you to prank them a lot

never yoongi though, he’s scary asf

you two also have a lot of movie marathons, especially the avengers movies cause they are some of the best

if you’re a main dancer you two probably do a lot of dancing together in your free time, maybe even some crack dances as well

a little bit of playful flirting here and there, he’s so shameless when he’s around you it’s unreal

has also picked you up at one point and threw you over his shoulder just cause he wanted to prove to jk he’s not a weak midget

CUDDLES 24/7! both of you initiate a lot of platonic skinship it’s just become a habit at this point. also you two have definitely slept in the same bed before while cuddling

jimin is very emotionally intelligent, so he automatically knows when you’re in a bad mood or when you just feel sad. he’s the member trusted the most too to take care of you during- uh- your time of the month

he just wants you to be happy so he’ll gladly help you with any of your needs, even if it’s kinda unpleasant

seeing that both of you both had a lot of struggles, you two were very close and i guess that’s what made you guys click

jimin would be the shoulder you can cry on and your lovable squishy best friend

taehyung would be one of your bestest friends, even during trainee days

expect he was shy to you at first cause you were very young and he didn’t want to give the wrong impression on you

but overtime he grew to be his childish and weird self that we all love, and the two of you always lighten up the mood along with hoseok

definitely takes you on shopping dates when he gets the chance and probably makes you try on 1000 gucci clothes

sometimes you end up buying them but it’s a relatively small amount

also you like going to the food courts with him because you guys just have very light-hearted conversations while enjoying yourselves some delicious food

if he knows something is up with you but the others don’t notice, he would go and tell them to take care of it cause he doesn’t think he can’t comfort you well enough

but in reality he’s really good at talking with you, that 10% of genius shines in him and he manages to figure out what made you upset and help you

yeontan probably likes you a bit more than the other members cause of taehyung, and that’s a feat he’s proud of

both you and him also play a lot of games together with jungkook, and a lot of screaming to

the others think you’re getting murdered at times it’s funny

tae would also initiate skinship with you, though not as much as jimin, he prefers to just hug you and hold your hand

also if you’re a rapper he definitely asks you to teach him how to rap and sometimes it can be so chaotic

taehyung would be a really good friend to you and like a warm older brother

you and jungkook are the maknaes on top, even though there’s a one year difference

despite your close relationship, you two didn’t get along at first due to different views on certain things

but overtime your relationship mended and now the two of you are the closest friends can get

due to your young ages you use this to your advantage to get anything you want from the members

also, take your pranking with jimin and multiply that by a million cause hoo boy you two cause A LOT of chaos

skinship and platonic kisses for days off camera. he really loves you a lot and just prefers to show it off camera cause he’s a shy baby

you steal his hoodies and shirts a lot cause they are comfy and he either complains or just lets you take them

both of you have friendly competitions whenever you are competing for the members love and affection

which can lead to rather intense insult battles and the others watch in amusement

both of you are so close you two can just tell how you’re feeling with just one look in the eyes, and even communicate through facial expressions

yeah you guys are that close, and the other members haven’t fully accomplished a feat like that yet so they are amazed

jungkook also is pretty possessive of your guy’s friendships and often scares off others, even his fellow 97 liners

but in reality he’s just a soft bunny baby that doesn’t want you to leave him

you two probably had some dating rumors surrounding you, but at the end of the day nothing will change your guy’s amazing friendship

❣︎

wooooo we got another female maknae au! with bts, sorry i don’t have anything else, i have a one shot idea planned with yeonjun, taehyun and hyuka so please stick around for that!

this is @/krysphycookiez logging off... ♡︎

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scenics · 3 years ago

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Ok I know this is a tired topic but I’d like to your thoughts on whether BTS and BP are comparable to each other. Specifically on what makes them appealing to audiences considering that they are two of the most popular kpop groups today. A lot of it is marketing of course but the material for that has to come from somewhere.

i wouldn’t say they’re super comparable to each other, especially in terms of “success.” they just happen to be the top groups in the genre rn and i’d argue bts is more popular on a general scale (in the west) compared to blackpink. the most they have in common is that they’re 3rd gen groups and that’s about it. bts is always marketed as a group (its all or nothing that’s the appeal) while bp is always marketed individually with each member having their own brand.

for bts, their appeal has always been the group dynamic. everything is about 7, the 7 is sacred. bighit always markets them as 7 (members don’t have individual brand deals..although they def could). for me, as an old (retired) stan, bts used to offer a lot of their old fans something new in contrast to the content of the big three and their copycats. with bts and hyyh (later love yourself), they were the first to offer complete, committed world-building in visuals+music . in 2015, bts stood out from the rest with their trilogy album and continuing storyline (it was an Era), but that isn’t really apparent today with newer fans (a lot of fans who liked them during that rise to popularity dont really follow them anymore). bts getting massively popular in the past two years was very much about time and place (it could’ve have been any group in their position) and now it’s obvious that bighit has found the right “formula” in the west to keep them moving up.

for blackpink, me and a few (asian) friends have had a convo about this but their appeal to the west has always how that they’re the least “asian” group of most kpop girl groups. i feel like this aspect is more understandable if you’re asian+grew up in the west(+grew up with asians). bts still get the asian treatment from the west, while blackpink really don’t especially from pop stans. me and lot of ppl have always noticed that blackpink have a lot of western pop music stans that only like them and no other kpop group (often they’re the only asian artist in their stan list too). it’s an interesting phenomenon tbh (blackpink isnt technically kpop to them) and it relates to how asian diaspora here always feel more comfortable admitting they like them (bcuz they aren’t cringe and super asian like the other kpop groups). blackpink are asian, but marketed in a very westernized manner that makes liking them less “corny” than admitting you like kpop (like growing up if you were asian and admitted u liked kpop…it was just embarrassing ...). like idk if i’m truly explaining right, but they’re essentially your cool asian girls who don’t remind the consumer that they’re asian all the time.

#asks #for the last point #if ur not asian …u don’t get to debate 🦭#long post

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sunghoonalter-archived · 2 years ago

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this isn't a question, but your newest post reminded me of something!

in the tamed-dashed japanese ver mv, ni-ki sits in a room surrounded by flowers, and suddenly starts bleeding?? idk that's quite interesting. do you have a theory to their storyline?

After living through the hyyh era with bts and seeing and coming up with theories that I legit binged mvs to try to make it make sense,

I can say I have a small theory, not as intricate as others but just a general thought.

It's known that in every mv, Niki’s like almost always alone or doing something weird like randomly teleporting in Drunk-Dazed, tied down in given-taken, wondering around by himself in the Korean tamed-dashed and nearly burning himself. Nothing happens to him in the Japanese version until both he and Jay start bleeding, Jay I'm not sure why tho.

But for Niki, I think it has something to do with his powers and his usage of it. Maybe he was dangerous or something, explaining why he was tied up or that he's still learning his abilities like in Drunk-Dazed

Another thing added on top of that is that they're vampires which means that they're technically dead since their hearts don't beat and if they bleed, it's really dark from the lack of oxygen since they don't breathe. And when you see the mv, you'd notice that the blood is darker than freshly oxygenated blood which is a slightly brighter red. So there's a possibility that there's a slight defect in him or he did something wrong (doesn't explain Jay tho) and he's sort of being punished for it. Maybe he said something he shouldn't, afterall he is almost always alone

Also they're kinda surrounded by graves and a burned down orphanage so anything is possible.

Or he just has a bad nosebleed🙂

#raven answers #bro idk #i just say what i see i dont really dive into theories😭#not since the dreaded hyyh story

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bangtanblurbs · 3 years ago

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autumn leaves

song: autumn leaves by BTS

first experience: my first listen of autumn leaves was when HYYH pt. 2 released. thanksgiving had just ended -- it was 2015. i was well into my fourth year of undergraduate studies and going through both a rough patch in some respects but also in others -- hitting my stride. i remember my first listen through of HYYH pt. 2 was in my tiny dorm room, perched on my bed, avoiding the responsibility of studying for my final exams. autumn leaves followed skit in the tracklisting, and before skit came baepsae. talk about whiplash... my emotions were all over the place. immediately i was taken by the unique backbeat and the beautiful blend of devastating vocals with emotional raps. for me, autumn leaves was immediately a favorite of mine from the album -- following closely behind butterfly. i can confidently say today though that the song is one of my top ten bangtan songs of all time. something about the sound, the lyrics, and the emotions i can hear in their voices makes it one of the most powerful rap ballads in the bangtan repertoire. i can remember distinctly i came to this revelation around christmas of 2015 as i continued to loop HYYH pt. 2 and really feel each beat and sound within the individual tracks.

at this time i was going through a period of great change in my life - and autumn leaves is the perfect song for change. it’s a song about losing a love but also about feeling as if you are losing a piece of yourself. there are many ways to interpret the song outside of just being another sad love song -- that is something that struck me. the lyrics speak to several facets of what happens when you give pieces of yourself to others, or when you reach crossroads in your life. finding this song at this particular moment in my life was like finding energy and light at a time of extreme darkness. it was healing. soothing.

feelings: i have too many. as always. autumn leaves is special to me because when i listen to it i’m reminded of both the place i was in when the sound found me, but also more recent development in my life that continue to relate to the song. when i first heard autumn leaves, i’d recently ended a relationship i’d been far too invested in despite knowing it was going to be a dead end - for about three years. i felt like i was at a point in my life where i needed to figure out who the hell i was without the one i’d loved. it’s funny though - i was happy to be free of that relationship, to be free of him, the pressures he’d put upon me. what do dead leaves mean if not a new spring right around the corner? perhaps i was feeling lost, but in my mind it was only temporary -- the dead must fall away to bring forward the spring.

that being said, i did mourn. not in the way you might think, but in the way that one mourns for lost time, lost identity. so often we, as women, give up our identities when we are in relationships. we allow others to define us in terms of those that we are in relationships with. i’ve realized this now that i’m older -- now that i’m more at peace with my bisexuality -- the notion that our patriarchal society defines us in terms of the men within our lives rather than our own talents and identities. this particular blog isn’t a space for my feelings on that topic though -- what i will say is that autumn leaves comforted me. perhaps i felt that i was at a point where my leaves were dying -- but does that mean the tree is dead? absolutely not. spring would come. my life would be reborn with a new focus taking over.

this being said -- i’ve always been one of those people that holds onto the past. i always wanted to be solid, non-changing, someone with convictions that they carried along from life. i think this stems from experiencing the death of a close friend while i was very young. i cherished the memories associated with her to the point where i didn’t want to lose the person i was when i knew her. so that’s always complicated change for me -- made the moments where the last leaves fell from the autumn trees that much harder. sure, spring was on its way, but what did that mean? would i lose the memories and the moments when my leaves where at their brilliance the previous season? or would i still carry those with me? what if i needed to correct course and completely rewrite who i was over the past -- would that mean losing who i was when i was loved by those i valued in the past? of course not -- but for some reason the more emotional sides of me didn’t see things in such a fluid way. lost was more profound when i was younger because it was also accompanied with these fears over the loss of my identity.

as i’ve gotten older i’ve realized that identity can have staying power whilst also being something that is fluid. transmuting something doesn’t mean destroying or overwriting it. it means building upon the base and modifying it so that things are more brilliant. the me that existed before and during my long-term relationship was the same me i’d carry into the future, but with many more improvements for my own wellbeing and ability to express myself. for me, autumn leaves is just that. whilst on the surface it may convey the emotions of a breakup -- it also simply conveys the feelings that we get when we progress from one period of life to another. we leave parts of ourselves behind in order to improve. does that mean we are fundamentally changed? absolutely not. it means that we have learned from the past -- that we have made progress. in the same way that trees grow and change over the years. perhaps they look differently (taller, greener in hue? more branches?) but they still provide us with lushness and shade.

personal connection: perhaps i’ve jumped ahead... i’ve already delved into this in the feelings section. that being said... i hope that my story can bring comfort to someone else. or perhaps help you all think about the ways in which bangtan songs can promote healing in your own lives.

since my initial experience with the song i’ve had many other moments where i’ve turned to autumn leaves for comfort. i didn’t just leave it in the past -- it’s come with me as i’ve gotten older and moved into new spaces in my life. particularly i quite literally moved and started a huge new chapter in my life. and on this, autumn leaves has been a song i frequently find myself searching for. there’s a line in the song that resonates with me -- it’s in the bridge: “i hold on to these faded memories / is this greed? / i try to look back on these lost seasons / i try to turn back”

initially i’d been excited for my big move from atlanta to washington dc. i thought it’d be the moment where i finally showed people back home that i wasn’t a failure, that all the pride i’d held in myself and my intellectual accomplishments was valid... but partnered with that came the intensive homesickness, the feeling of being an alien. i wasn’t really welcome here in dc. i still don’t feel welcome, but that’s a story for another day - another song. the reality is though, i moved just as the seasons turned to fall. it felt like my old life was falling away, i was bidding adieu my old life -- the community that had raised me since i was eighteen -- it was all gone. i was scared, terrified my friends wouldn’t keep in touch, afraid i’d have to change who i was to experience success (mask my accent, dye my hair, use the language of the elites)... while it’s not a breakup in the way the autumn leaves reads, i felt like i was having to plead with myself not to let go of who i was just for the sake of being accepted here, or for the sake of making my day to day life easier. the beat of the song brought me comfort as i walked to school, where i received the fake smiles of professors and classmates... i pleaded with myself -- to never let the parts of me that had gotten me to where i was fall away... to always let those dead leaves be the fertilizer for who i was becoming, for the me that would deliver myself closer to my dreams.

even now -- i listen to autumn leaves and think about what i’m going to carry forward as the seasons change and we begin to work our way into a new normal in this pandemic. what parts of me will remain? what relationships will i keep? what *should* fall away, and what will i beg to keep around rather it’s healthy or not? i’m not sure. but closing my eyes and listening to the steady sound of autumn leaves brings me nothing but comfort.

song breakdown

musically: autumn leaves is one of the most iconic songs from the HYYH era. the beat is iconic, the mix of vocal line and rap line from verse to chorus is completely seamless, it’s almost like a ballad rap (so iconic of the HYYH era, with songs like love is not over). the asian style beats, and synth... the sounds of the song are flawless from start to finish. the underlying beat of the song is so smooth, it feels almost like constant crashing waves, the ebb and flow of the beat with a few accents to highlight the emotional pick-ups of the verses.

now -- it was controversial at the time -- many claim that autumn leaves samples beats from deadroses by blackbear. rather that’s true or not, i don’t know. but i find that listening to both songs back to back, they’re speaking to a lot of similar themes but with their own distinct sound and messages. there’s something about the genius of the back beat mixed with the emotionally charged rapping that sets autumn leaves apart -- also the use of vocal line is completely distinct and adds to the emotion in the sound.

vocally: i don’t have as much to say about the vocals in this song. they’re beautiful, with vocal providing honey belts throughout the choruses, which sound more like a repeated bridge. we also see the slower, more emotionally accented rap style from each of rapline. the integration of the vocals and rap are iconically HYYH and BTS. we see the raps pick up, and slow down providing for pre-choruses to build into the beautiful vocal ballad ranges.

autumn leaves performed live -- it’s something incredible. something i’m thankful i was able to experience. bangtan obviously never disappoint, but you can really hear the emotions in their voice with autumn leaves. the perfect adlibs, the changing rap paces, the roughness of rapline’s lower registers... it delivers the sadder themes of the song perfectly.

lyrically: time for a DEEP dive yet again. autumn leaves is about change, the loss of a love. of course meanings can be layered, it can be about change, but on the very surface its a song about loss of love because of changes over time.

jin and jungkook start out the song beautifully. the lyrics lead in directly addressing the theme: “fall like those dry leaves / just falling without strength, my love.” indicating that the song is like a letter - it’s a message to a love. the speaker is comparing their situation to a dead leaf, useless... time has run out... time to leave and fade away... something new to come a replace. falling without strength, it seems as if the speaker is saying they’ve got no more fight in them anymore, they’ve given up and realized continuing the fight is futile. it’s time to just let everything fall away, fade into black. “your heart just goes far away / i can’t catch you / i can’t catch you anymore, anymore / i can’t hold onto you, yeah” as much as the speaker would like to hold onto the moment they are in, hold onto the person they’re with... they can’t anymore. the other person is too far away. time has led to them drifting further apart, their relationship falling away like a dead leaf.

yoongi starts off the first rap, leading in with heavy emotions and continuing the story, and theme of a tree moving into fall. “those fallen leaves that look so insecure / seem like they’re looking at us.” the leaves have already fallen off the tree now, they’re dead on the ground -- peering back up at the speaker and their partner. i interpret this as the leaves are looking back at something they used to be a part of, something familiar to them, just as leaves are a part of our lives, trees spectating our lives as we live. these leaves were a part of their lives -- and now they’re gone, a piece is dead now. “if i touch your hand, even if it’s all at once / it seems like it’ll all become crumbs” -- this line illustrates again the analogy that the leaves are like the speaker’s significant other, someone that might just crumble away like it was never even there before, like a dream, it’s that distant. “i only looked / with the autumn wind” the seasons have changed, it’s that time, it’s been that time, and now the wind is a force that finally pushing the leaf off the tree, finally pushing the relationship or moment of life to end. “your words and expressions that become cold at some point / i can see that our relationship is fading / an empty relationship like the autumn sky” this line directly refers to the relationship like the seasons -- there was a spring, beautiful and blooming, love blossomed. and in summer it burned. but as time went on, the clouds went away and the rain stopped (the autumn sky doesn’t bring the spring showers to nurture the relationship anymore) and the fire consumed everything, burning it out and leaving nothing. “an ambiguous difference compared to before / today of all days, the much quieter night” there’s nothing left -- there no more crackle of the fire burning, no more love. it’s empty, and gone. but nobody knew when it became this way or why, it just did. “one lead left clinging to a branch / it’s shattering, i see the end.” there’s something hanging on -- perhaps it’s just the memory -- perhaps it’s just the part of them that is afraid of change, that wishes they could stay in the warmth. but even so, it’s beginning to crumble, it’s beginning the process to fall away. “dead leaves becoming dried / the silence inside your aloof heart / please don’t leave me / please don’t leave me, crumbling dead leaves” from dead to dried, the emphasis is made that at some point things have moved past ending or that they have been done for quite some time and for them to now also be dried. that being said they’re dried, not gone, the memories exist the emotions have left their place. someday the marks of this relationship will impact and provide the basis for another with someone else -- for better or worse.

then, we reach the bridge-like chorus. it’s simple in lyrics despite emotion packed in tone. “i want the you that meets my eyes / i want the you that wants me again” this line indicates that the partner in this situation has walked away and had decided not to even acknowledge the speaker. to pretend they don’t exist, to remove them from their life -- perhaps to not even keep them as a memory. “please don’t leave me / please don’t fall / never never fall / don’t go far away” the speaker begins to beg, holding onto the last few minutes of whatever they believe is left of the relationship. the begging of “don’t fall” is at odds with the previous verse about a leaf already fallen -- perhaps the chorus is coming from a more desperate state, or a moment before the inevitable happened (the season changed, the leaves fell).

the post chorus brings in jin and continues with the same lament - the same desperate begging. “baby you, girl i can’t let you go / baby you, girl i can’t give up on you” the speaker is determined to hold onto the moment before the final fall. they are unwilling to let it all go -- hanging on to the last moments but also to the memories it seems. “like those falling dry leaves / this love, like dry leaves / never never fall / it’s fading.” at this point the chorus has progressed to where the leaves are fading and falling -- morphing into something that is no longer a leaf anymore. what is the speaker holding onto any more? just as memories too fade -- is there anything even left?

the next verse brings in namjoon, it plays off of the themes and tones in yoongi’s verse. it begins with the leaves already having fallen. there’s no more grasping onto what was, it’s much more about moving on and the ways the memory frames our ability to go forward. “like all the dry leaves fall / like all the things i thought would last forever are leaving / you are my fifth season” the speaker couldn’t imagine this happening -- a fifth season, there is no such thing. the leaves have fallen, despite him never imagining that it would occur, he’s dumbstruck. there’s a level of naivety here -- speaking to the things they thought would last forever -- which harkens back to the entire HYYH era theme. youth. learning growth. namjoon is speaking to new steps in life happening after finding out that what was familiar and comfortable is gone, and will not return as he is stepping into a fifth season and uncharted territory. “even if i try to see you, i can’t look / you’re still green to me / even if the heart doesn’t move, it moves by itself / lingering feelings hung out piece by piece like laundry” namjoon is charging here that he’s placing more emphasis on the past and the memories he holds rather than wanting to confront the reality that the other person has changed. they’re still green - young, fresh, healthy... he can’t help but still be in love because he cannot confront the fact that the other person has in fact changed. and at the same time all of this change and loss has made him raw, he cannot conceal his feelings even when doing mundane day to day things... his emotions hung out for all to see. “only crimson memories fall / from above me / even if my branch doesn’t shake / they constantly fall” the colors have changed from green to crimson, he is forgetting the hard times -- the memories that are rotten. the other memories, even if he keeps trying to hang onto them, they’re also going - being tainted by the dark and unhappy reality of things begin done. “right, my love must fall / in order to rise” he realizes, he need to cut the baggage, cut his false belief that things are still good, so that he can start a new season and try again. embrace his youth once again and heal. “even when you’re near, my two eyes / are far away, it’s happening / i’m being thrown away like this / inside my memories, i become young again” he emphasizes again that he cannot confront the reality of loss of this other person but realizes that it’s completely out of his control - he is the one being thrown. but he knows he can retreat to whatever space he needs to in order to cope or heal, he can hide inside his youth in his mind. he can stay there until he heals and can emerge once again.

the chorus the repeats again, but this time it moves into the beautifully delivered bridge by taehyung. he begins with his low and smooth range “why can’t i give up on you yet / i hold on to these faded memories” which calls directly to namjoon’s verse. the seasons are changing, but he cannot let go of the past. things are fading but they remain his refuge. “is this greed? / i try to look back on these lost seasons / i try to turn back” he begins to realize that there’s an element to these emotions that might be toxic, that he wants but he knows he cannot have what he wants, or that he wants too much. he wishes he could retreat back to the summer, or the spring. turn back time and hide in those brighter moments.

the final verse is beautifully delivered with hoseok’s unique style. he offers an unexpected conclusion to the hopelessness of yoongi’s verse and the denial and dismissal in namjoon’s. “burn them brightly, woosh / it was all beautiful, right, our path / but they’ve all faded” hoseok remembers fondly the memories, reflects positively on the way that things had been going... but he recognizes that that path exists no more -- those leaves are dead and gone. he uses the word “burn” which is often what happens with dead leaves, they’re burning brightly those memories -- like they’re seared into his mind and heart. they’ll never leave his essence. “dry leaves come down like tears / the wind blows and everything grows apart all day” this line beautifully captures the mourning process and the confusion that follows -- the learning to unlearn and untangle your life from another person’s. to move away from something that was so permanent in your life and mind. “the rain is falling and you’re shattering / until the very last leaf, you you you” the weather references in this verse are fitting for the theme of seasons but they also take control away from the speaker - make reference to the fact that even as they speaker would like to, he cannot control his emotions just like he cannot control the situation and relationship coming to an end. the very last leaf -- he tried to hold on, he waited till the end, but finally the hope is gone.

the chorus repeats with some additional lines bracketing it by taehyung. ultimately the song leaves us with a feeling of being unsettled as things came to an ended. time passed by and things changed -- and end was inevitable. memories are what is left to hold onto. seasons change, just like we grow up or change. things in our lives will run their course, especially relationships. we learn from them, and even if we don’t want them to -- they leave scars... no matter how much we plead. but the reality is, we can retreat to whatever place in our mind or memory that we need to in order to repair ourselves to try again.

performance: the main video that is available online for autumn leaves is a performance from HYYH on tour. i cannot pinpoint the location of the filming, but it is the same as it was when i saw BTS live in 2016 in macau for HYYH the epilogue on tour. you can find it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UrM53Y9hHV0&ab_channel=lestwins1524

the performance is very much understated but beautiful. vocals and raps are delivered with more emotion than was captured in the recorded version. members do not perform any choreographed dances, but lights and graphics highlight each member as they come into focus to deliver their portion of the song. it’s beautiful and it’s just what was needed to portray the emotion and depth of the themes in autumn leaves.

in my own personal experience, seeing this song performed live was incredibly profound. the entire arena was silent. all eyes on bangtan and listening for each of the incredibly raw verses to be peformed. the crisp emotion laden in the vocal line choruses. the song is beautiful. it’s somber and mature. it exemplifies the drama of the HYYH era -- with lyrical and performance genius that is unparalleled. i’ve uploaded to this post my horrible video but i hope you enjoy ~~

tl;dr: autumn leaves might seem like another breakup song, but there’s more to it. it beautifully emphasizes the power of memory, time passage, and the desire to hold onto past versions of themselves. which for many listeners is far more profound than just a breakup -- there’s so many times when we need to leave behind moments in our lives, friends, family members... and while we want to hold onto something that is familiar, we can’t. they’re leaving, we are moving on... seasons come and go no matter how much we wish they’d just stay constant. dead leaves fall away, even when we’d wish the summer and spring would stay, they can’t. life is cyclical in nature. which harkens us back to the themes in spring day as well. the sun will always come out, the seasons will change... but we have to confront the fact that sometimes we will experience pain, loss, and change.

#bangtan #bts #lyrics #analysis #army #autumn leaves #bts army #hyyh #most beautiful part of life

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sleepylixie · 3 years ago

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Fic writer tag~

Thank you for the tag, lovely demoness @whiteprincessofnohr / @multi--kpop--fanfics

1. what fandoms have you written for (but do not currently)? -I used to write for BTS, way back in the old days of 2016 when they were still in HYYH era

2. what fandoms are you currently writing for? -Stray Kids, ATEEZ ( drabbling in TBZ and NCT soon )

3. how long have you been writing? -I’ve been writing since...2012? Got into storytelling around then. So...9 years? WoW. 0_0

4. on which platforms do you post your stories - Had a Wattpad, but I only post on Tumblr ( with the occasional ao3 cross post )

5. what is your favorite genre to write? -Romance and Fantasy AUs. I have a particular soft spot for royal themes and e2l

6. are you a pantser or a planner? - drabbles are pansted and fics( especially collab fics) are planned

7. one-shot or multi-chapter? -One shot, right off the bat. I’m intimidated by incomplete multi-chapter stories, but I have no problem reading complete ones ( More and More and Paradise Lost are the only incomplete series that get to haunt me the way they do :) )

8. what is the perfect chapter length in your opinion? Depends on the story, but anywhere between 3-8k is okay, i think?

9. what is your longest published story? -YOO, it has to be one of my Twisted Fairytales (Possibly Lost Boy, the Swan Lake X Felix fic)

10. which story did you enjoy working on the most? -Oh man you can’t ask a parent to chose amongst their children like that T_T I really can’t choose ! All my stories are different experiences, so it’s difficult hm... Forget and Never Forgive would be the most recent one, methinks

11. favorite request you’ve written and why? -That Mixtape Love and Imperium Universe-3: I Hate to Admit . Both of which are Chan fics, now that I think about it LMAO OMG

12. are there reoccurring themes in your stories? - must I expose myself this way :o E2L, Strong female characters and banter are some things I feel are a classic Ella fic recipe hehe

13. current number of wips? -Somewhere between 5 and 10. I have some cards up my sleeve rn :D

14. three things you have noticed about your writing? - I’ve recently started focusing on body language in my characters lately, my emotion description has always been elaborate, and I enjoy putting my characters through an unfair amount of pain >:)

15. a quote you like from a published story? -Gonna take some liberty and choose a couple oops

“ You see, I forgot loss, pain, heartbreak- but I didn’t forget possession. “ - Never gone, my love

“Everybody knows about the youngest true incubus of Lilith who was once all blonde hair and dangerous beauty, a tale of caution for a broken heart, a reminder of how flying too close to the sun will always have end in a savage fall to the ground.” - The Dreamwalker

16. a quote from an unpublished story?

The longer you looked at him, the more boyish he looked- in the curve of his eyes, the soft angles of his nose and jawline, the almost petulant pout on his lips, all you could see was a boy trying very, very hard to look like a man. Like he’d grown up faster than he was meant to.

17. space for you to say something to your readers~~

Stay safe and happy my loves :) Thank you for joining me on this journey of writing and new experiences <3

tagging: @aliceu @chogiwow @lavenderbexlatte @popisdead @delicatewerewolfsoul @mingkii

#ella's ask games 💌#whiteprincessofnohr #zeta the demoness 🥃#thank you for the tag my love

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korejinnie · 5 years ago

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BTS ‘ON’ Official MV Theory Analysis

In the first scene, we see a battlefield of dead bodies and flags. This scene can refer to any battle or war in general. War is usually fought to gain independence and justice for one's country/homeland. In this case, battle represents death.

Like I said, fighting for justice and independence. Jin in the following scene is shown holding a dove with an arrow struck through it's body. This is similar to Jin in Fake Love, when he was holding the lantern filled with lily petals that turned to dust.

"Nothing gold can stay" - Robert Frost I believe this is BTS' way of saying, to really achieve higher goals or get to where they are now, they had to fight a really long time (like 100 years war), even if this meant sacrificing parts of themselves, their happiness. Nothing stays forever, nothing gold can stay. Happiness doesn't last forever. They must experience pain and misery in order to be reborn. You must die in order to be reborn into a better place and a more enhanced stage in life.

In the next scene, we see Jungkook running away from something or somewhere. His hands are bound by black thorns. The first thing that came into my mind was slavery. Slaves such as Harriet Tubman, when trying to escape from their slave owners had to risk their life in hopes of escaping to a new and better place. Escaping from slavery is not an easy task. In this case, you can imagine Jungkook as a slave, and his slave owner is his shadow. The thorns that bound his hands can also be a reference to Jesus' crown of thorns. Jesus sacrifice himself for the greater good of the people. After his crucifixion, he would eventually be reborn on Easter.

Come Prima = Like before

Death and Rebirth, again like before.

We see that Jungkook finally escaped out of the maze (maze runner) that's trapped all the boys in for so long. To put this scene as one of the first scenes of the MV, is to show the audience a preview of the ending when BTS finally escapes.

Next scene is a reference to Make It Right. The little blonde-haired girl represents ARMYs, and the boy represents BTS, as most of you may already know. However, the girl is wearing a blindfold. A reference to the movie Bird Box, signifying how BTS tries to protect us from the bad and the ugly of their journey. They only want to show us their best, and they only want to show us the beauty of the world. In Bird Box, the blindfold protects the main protagonists from a force that threatens their lives.

The next scene is a reference to Noah's Ark! Again, the idea of risking one's self in order to save the greater good. You may think BTS is noah, but I feel like BTS more or less represents the ship. The reason why BTS existed in the first place was because there was a reason for their existence and we are the reason. For Noah, he was given instructions from God and instructed to build a ship to save not only his family but also all the animals. BTS is the ship that carries us all. The ship in the MV seems deteriorated and filled with flaws, but with everyone, and all the members together, the ship will be fixed and complete.

In the next scene, Jin is holding the cage with the dead dove inside. But if you paid attention, you'll notice that the cage actually ended up moving a bit. This is signifying the rebirth of the dove. And also, why are there so many cages? Well, reason possibly being that BTS has tried many MANY times to free the dove successfully (escape successfully to freedom and independence), but failed, symbolizing how throughout their entire career, they've had to fail many times in order to get to where they are today.

Anyways, in the next scene, we see Jungkook fainting from running. Though Map of the Soul: 7 is not a part of BU, it still reminded me of this scene in BS&T where Jungkook threw up then fainted in the restroom:

All the trees are dead and Jungkook is lying on the floor with a black crow pecking at him.

Black Crow/Raven = Death

BTS is in the process of dying to be reborn.

Ok next scene is this scene, which feels like some type of Yoongi cult (lmao), but also reminded me of Handmaid's Tale (which idk if anyone thought of that). Again, the idea of being oppressed and confined in a controlled society. Controlled by Shadow.

SHE MAY BE BLIND BUT SHE CAN SEEEE

She is ARMY, ARMY may be protected by BTS, but we were always there, looking straight across towards the goal. We knew there was a way out, it was always there. We guide BTS towards their goal. The door is right there.

As Taehyung takes the blindfold off of the little girl, the door begins to open. This is BTS trusting us and unveiling their struggles and shadow side to us, believing that through this process, we will gain a better understanding of them, and together, this will help push and lead us towards a better future, together. Together, we are one, and we will be stronger than ever. Hit us with whatever you have, however many bullets you got. We don't care anymore, we will face whatever the future holds head ON.

It's also important to note that, one of the reasons the main protagonists in Maze Runner never tried to escape from the maze at the beginning of the story, was because they didn't know what lied ahead outside of the maze, and they didn't want to know because they're afraid. Now we are united as one. You see how Jin also brought the dove that he thought was once dead, but now revived with him. As they all gathered together, the dove was finally released and free. We are finally free.

Anddd now a reference to Lord of the Flies! In Lord of the Flies, "the conch represents civil discourse on the island, and only works as long as the boys all believe in its power and the necessity of the idea it symbolizes". The conch is a fragile and vulnerable object, which is the reason why the characters in Lord of the Flies would take such good care of the conch.

When Jungkook blows the conch, he is calling out to the rest of his members in order to alert them, which is what Ralph, one of the main protagonists of Lord of the Flies did, to alert his friends.

But what is Jungkook trying to alert his friends of?

The incoming explosion. The Shadow is coming, it's chasing after them. (Just like Pompeii)

This scene represents BTS getting ready to go head-on with their shadow. They're ready to fight for their freedom and independence.

The next scene shows Jungkook holding the conch, wearing a dark velvet red robe along with the rest of his members, just like how they did in Fake Love.

ON is the reverse of N.O.

NO = being trapped to conform

ON = liberation from being confined

In fake love, the boys were running away from their fears, but this time, they're facing their fears head-on. They're no longer afraid of their shadows because they have ARMYs. Instead of keeping their fears to themselves, they're now sharing it with us.

The fireballs from the volcano that blasts out can be seen as bullets. They are no longer afraid of whatever comes, no matter how many bullets that comes at us. We are bulletproof eternal, hence "We are Bulletproof: The Eternal".

After they've learned to face their fears and shadow head on, everything that was once dead now revives and is reborn. The trees that were once dead is now growing again, and the boys finally escape the maze they were once trapped in.

Now finally, we have the Lion King reference.

Circle of Life = Reincarnation

"What goes around comes around". Come Prima.

Just like before, they die then are reborn again.

Each white dove you see in this scene represents a member of BTS. The members continue to walk towards the top of the cliff. And in the next scene, we see Jungkook run straight towards the top of the cliff, smiling.

Again, though Map of the Soul: 7 is not a part of BU, i found a nice and interesting parallel between this scene in the MV and Prologue:

Jungkook runs towards the future, along with the rest of the members walking towards the future behind him, knowing that better and much greater things lie ahead. No longer are they afraid of what the future holds. They know, the future holds amazing things for us.

HYYH The Notes, Map of the Soul: 7

2 August, Year 22 - Yoongi

"If we are together, we can smile"

In the end, we can see that BTS are actually Divergents (referring to the book and movie “Divergent”) and that's why they're walking away. In No More Dream era, they were stuck without a dream, they were being confined into the different factions that society told them they should be put in.

Now they have a dream.

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yoonspeanut · 4 years ago

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Love Yourself : Tear Sequencing

love yourself tear’s sequencing is probably one of the best in a BTS album

it begins with singularity a song about losing yourself when you find someone/something else. it feels a little to me like how the little mermaid would have gone had ariel not found her prince. losing her voice, her most important part of herself, for someone she didn't even know

then fake love a song which is about love turning sour. a love you'd give everything away for but not get anything back. it's the part where singularity instead of just realizing what they've lost themselves starts hating what the love which caused them to lose so much but at the same time they cant let go of what they've gained

then from love breaking someone it moves on to a broken someone in love in the truth untold. unlike the two previous songs where love made them lose something, here they feel like they're going to lose love because of themselves, because they don't deserve it.

then 134340 which is a perfect fit in the middle of the truth untold and paradise. it's a bittersweet story of a love of the past. a love you can't let go but can't hold on to either. a love who deemed you unimportant

from here the movement into paradise, a song to remind you to take a while for yourself, seems natural. 134340 talks about the person prizing themselves but also prizing the one who left them behind. paradise is about prizing yourself and loving yourself the way you'd love others. paradise tells you it's okay to not have a dream as long as you're happy.

this is where the album starts becoming positive, telling us that we don't need to have big ideals or to reach the end of the race. it seems like a breath of fresh air after the darker themes dealt with before but it is also a message to the members themselves. a reminder to take a breath. a reminder to pause to just smile in the middle of all this pain and hurt that they're harbouring

love maze calls back to the previous themes of hurt and angst but still has a positive note. they talk about love being harsh and cold but still wanting to embrace it happily. it is a promise of forever. even in the midst of uncertainty (we know what situation this album was written in) a promise of always staying together.

magic shop is a also a promise, but one of comfort. they show us how much they trust us and how they know how much we believe in them through this song. there are a lot of references to the past with namjoon referencing his older tweets, hoseok referencing his thank you note from hyyh 1 and yoongi referring to the last. they go on to add that everything they have done in the past was for us, to comfort us and take our pain away. its a reminder of how we listened to them and their story and now in turn they want to listen to us.

naturally from the promise to tell their own story and listen to ours in magic shop, it goes on to airplane part 2 where they actually tell their story —, their love for music, their insecurities as ‘stars’ in the spotlight.

from talking about stars which they don't see (presumably in themselves) they move on to anpanman where they talk about becoming their own hero as well as a hero for all those around them. not a superhero just a normal regular hero who will just uplift you. they also talk about their fear of who they are and the hurt they often mask in order to remove some of ours. they talk about their fear of letting us down while being a simple hero, no superman, just an anpanman.

from their fear they move on to their confidence in themselves in so what. a reminder to just trust ourselves and go for it. to not fall into our meaningless worries and just say so what and go. so what somehow feels like a call back to the run era, with them telling us to let go of our worries no matter how big or small and just be ‘young and wild and free.’

then the outro which brings the whole album full circle. the goodbye which talks about the pain and betrayal of goodbyes going back again to the initial theme of the album, the pain which love leaves behind, the anger which is the only remain of a promise which was never kept.

all lyrics from doolsetbangtan

#bts #ly: tear #tear #love yourself #bangtan #album #album sequencing #lyrics

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misty-avalon · 5 years ago

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Questions to Know Me Better

Tagged by @theoceanismyinkwell Thank you!! ^-^

FOURTEEN PEOPLE I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW BETTER

ONE / name: Misty (not my real name but that’s what I go by on tumblr dot com)

TWO / birthday: September

THREE / zodiac sign: Virgo

FOUR / height: short af (i’m actually very self conscious of my height so i don’t like it when people make jokes about me being short - only i get to do that)

FIVE / hobbies: reading, baking, blogging, learning how to sew and cross stitch, having a good jamming out session to kpop

SIX / favourite colour: blue (the sky is blue, the pools/oceans/seas are blue - it’s a very relaxing colour)

SEVEN / favourite book: Harry Potter series (i have yet to come across another book series that knocks harry potter off the top spot for me)

EIGHT / last song I listened to: stay - blackpink (sometimes i just need a relaxing acoustic song after jamming out to more intense bops)

NINE / last film I watched: Detective Pikachu (the 2nd half of the movie is so good omg)

TEN / inspiration for muse: i’m not sure what is meant by ‘muse’ but if you mean myself then I have taken a lot of inspiration from BTS and e1 Laurel Lance. BTS’ music has given me a lot to ponder about. The HYYH era of songs said the things that I wanted to say that I never found the right words for. For the first time in 3-4 years I didn’t feel lonely anymore and I learnt from their songs that the things I felt were perfectly valid things to feel. From that I gained new motivation (the kind that doesn’t make you feel like you’re drowning when you come across stresses and inconvieniences) that I channelled towards my last 2 years at uni. Then fast forward to the love yourself era, it was Namjoon’s UN speech and Jin’s epiphany that really drove the message of ‘self love’ home. I learned not to rely on other people for love but rather to create some love for myself because that can never be taken away from me. I learned that I am enough and nobody will ever be able to make me feel like I’m nothing. Ever since then I feel like I’ve become a much healthier and more positive person (although a reminder that i am not perfect and i probably still have some problematic behaviours that im not aware of yet). I also found inspiration from Laurel’s arc from being (rightfully) angry and depressed to choosing to be a hero as the Black Canary. I wasn’t in the best place from end of 2012 to beginning of 2015 so I related a lot to s2-3 Laurel. Seeing Laurel become the Black Canary reminded me that I can overcome the emotional crap that I went through, I can choose to look on the brighter side despite everything, I can choose to move on and be better - and I did. When it comes to irl people I guess I do kind of take inspiration from the people that I know (the ones who matter). Seeing the people who matter to me (even if we don’t talk anymore) having genuine smiles on their faces is like a mental refresher ie i get renewed energy to go about my day completing my tasks and they give me inspiration for how I want to shape my future.

ELEVEN / dream job: doing research or assisting in research in the pharmaceutical industry, or having my own business (doesn’t need to be fancy) that helps me earn a modest living

TWELVE / meaning behind your URL: my url is inspired by bbc merlin. I wanted a url that hinted on fantasy and the mystical unknowns (ie possibilities that are yet to be discovered - a metaphor for the sense of longing to explore whether a physical place or an aspect of life). So I started playing around with the words ‘mystical’ and ‘mystery’ which then evolved into ‘misty’. Then I looked at the word ‘avalon’ and not only did I like the sound of the name, I also liked how it’s the name of a legendary land - a land shrouded in mystery. The words ‘misty’ and ‘avalon’ sounded like a really good fit for each other and so ‘misty-avalon’ was born. For those of you who have followed me since 2013 you might remember that my initial url was something like ‘destinyhopesapphire95’ (like some tween looking username/email) so you can see why I needed to change it. Even with my old url I wanted something inspirational hence ‘destiny’ and ‘hope’, and I picked ‘sapphire’ which is the September birthstone. As for ‘95’ y’all can probably figure that out yourselves

THIRTEEN / top 3 ships: my top ships are always changing as i find new shows to watch. My current top 3 (which is true for the last 2 months) is: 1) barry/iris (the flash), 2) jonah/amy (superstore), 3) buffy/marty (andi mack)

FOURTEEN / lipstick or lip balm: lipstick, i like being able to play around with different colours

FIFTEEN / currently reading: im not reading any books atm, but i am playing the playchoices app which is an app for visual novels. Other than that I read news articles to keep up to date with the happenings of the world

SIXTEEN / work: i’m learning how to drive atm because workplaces and jobs where i live are a lot more accessible when you have a licence (i didn’t learn to drive as a teen like most people did because knowing myself I just knew that it wasn’t a good idea nor the right time), but other than that we (mum and i) are in the process of figuring out how to move to a different city and selling our house so everything is in limbo, but just this morning i revised a newer and better education plan where I hope I’ll be able to earn a few more certificates/degrees

SEVENTEEN / fiction?: yes? (tbh i don’t really understand what this is asking here) when it comes to fiction I’ll always pick out fantasy

EIGHTEEN / fanfiction?: I don’t always read fanfics but when I do I always look for some fluff to read

Tagging 14 people I’d like to get to know better: (won’t be tagging 14 people because i have a small tumblr social circle and i literally only keep seeing the same 3-4 blogs on my dash)

@narniangriff23 @randomnessoffiction @annabethchasethyourdreams628 @babsgordnn plus anyone else who wants to do this but I may have forgotten to tag!

(no pressure or anything ;) friendly reminder I won’t be offended if you don’t want to do it)

#questionnaire #about me

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smhtaehyung · 6 years ago

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when all daisies disappear🌼|| chapter 8

• masterlist

• Pairing: taehyung x OC (mental hospital au)

• Genre: angst, fluff, eventual smut, romance

• Word count: 4.3k

• Warning: swearing, will contain themes such as suicidal thoughts, depression and mentions of physical violence. Some of the backstory for Taehyung’s character is taken from the BTS concepts during the hyyh era. If you feel uncomfortable with the topic of mental illness, I advise you not to read further.

•••

chapter 8 ➸ 404 🌼

That night, after our kiss, sleeping seemed like it lasted for years. I completely dissappeared and forgot about all the things that worried me, and worried Taehyung too, because I did care a lot about that. I completely forgot what would happen in the morning once Taehyung feels the aftermath of our touches. The aftermath hit him violently the next day.

I woke up that evening from a tiring afternoon nap to hear Taehyung's hurried steps to get out of the room. My mind shot awake as I stood up, and without a thought, went after him. I saw him enter the toilets, so I rushed there. Taehyung was leaning over the toilet seat, almost throwing up, looking completely pale. "What are you doing?" I questioned, still feeling dizziness from waking up. I read a lot from Taehyung’s face in that moment. Taehyung felt so unlucky that I caught him. "I have to get it out of my system." He spoke, talking about the burden of touching me last night. As much as it hurt me, it hurt him too. The entire morning he looked all pale and couldn't contain his breaths. As the day passed he couldn't handle it anymore so he waited till I fell asleep. Touching him again started being a really bad thought once I saw Taehyung, sticking fingers down his throat, probably regretting what we did.

He coughed and tried to throw up, sticking his fingers deeper down. I wanted to hold him away but I couldn't. I couldn't physically hold him away and I couldn't make him stop if that's what he needed to feel better. I understood that. One of the nurses got to us and panickly questioned the situation. "What is happening here? Jia did you do something?!" She questioned, making me feel upset that that was her first thought. "It's my fault. Not hers." Taehyung defended me, spitting into the toilet. She sent me a warning glare and kneeled down to Taehyung, keeping her distance to not upset him. "You should get off the cold floor, Taehyung." She spoke, trying to comofort him. "What are you trying to do?" She asked, furrowing her eyebrows in worry. I stood by the door, not being able to move. I moved one step back and looked down the hallway, in a flash getting distracted by a taller guy who was standing next to the reception desk, waiting for a visitation pass. A lollipop was sticking out his mouth, and his eyes were covered by wearing a dark blue cap. Taehyung's voice interrupted my thoughts, my head flinching back to him scrunched on the floor. "I felt nauseous, so I wanted to throw it up." He said. "Are you feeling okay? You shouldn't force yourself to do that. We can get some food in you and you'll feel better. Do you need anything?" She tried to comfort him. Taehyung sighed and got up. I slightly walked backwards, catching that lollipop's guy attention. "I'm okay. Thank you." Taehyung softly spoke, forcing himself to smile a little bit. He locked eye contact with me, before he exited the toilets. "You have a visitor." She casually spoke to him as they walked out. Taehyung's entire body stiffened as he swallowed a hard lump in his throat. I stared at Taehyung with fear and worry over his reaction. He looked at me in a comforting manner, locking his eyes with mine. "There he is. Is he your friend? Would you like to talk to him?" She questioned, pointing to the same guy at the reception I observed. She wanted to make sure Taehyung was okay with whoever that person was.

Taehyung's eyes wandered around before finding him. I noticed they both stared at each other intensively, with a pained expression on their faces. Taehyung sighed and spoke up, trying to focus. "Yes, I'll be in the interaction lobby." He spoke. She smiled and started walking towards that guy, who still couldn't keep his eyes off of Taehyung. "Rat, are you-" I worriedly asked, but he cut me off. "Later." He started walking. "Taehyung!" I pleaded, but he didn't stop his steps. "I'll explain everything later, okay? We can talk about..last night too." He said over his shoulder and continued coldly walking. "Taehyung!" I called out for him again but he ignored me. I sighed and felt my eyes water. Once Taehyung was out of my sight, I turned around. The guy that was his visitor, heard me desperately call out Taehyung's name. He stopped in slight shock. I stared at him and began walking. I walked past him, ignoring his stares. He observed me for a second before he began walking to the interaction room. "Jiyu, who's that? You gave him the visitor's pass-" I stopped Jiyu as she was walking past me. "He's a friend of Taehyung's. Why?" She asked, slightly puzzled at my curiosity. "He doesn't really seem like he is his friend." I whispered. Jiyu tried to hear but the noises from behind us were too loud for a whisper. "What did you say?" She questioned. "Nothing important." I said and started walking down the hallway to the interaction room. "Jia. Don't do anything. Let him talk to his friend." Jiyu pleaded, with a voice that didn't carry much hope. "Don't worry. I won't." I quickly said and continued walking.

I took a few deep breaths before I entered the room. There were two of our older male ward mates lazily playing table tennis. Minjee was holding her earmuffs as she saw me walk in. There was a very numb looking girl sitting on the couch with a remote in her hand. I walked in and immediately caught Taehyung's attention. I casually ignored him and plopped down onto the couch, taking a remote from the girl's hand, switching the channel. "I'm not going to steal your earmuffs, kid. These yellow ones look very pretty on you." I complimented Minjee in an unusually bright tone. She slowly removed her hands from her earmuffs and widened her eyes, surprised by my compliment. "Th-thank you." She smiled, looking all shy. "Awww. You're a cute kid, Minjee." I said and gently nudged her arm in a friendly way. I glanced at Taehyung, who was observing me the same way his friend did. I ignored it, trying to seem casual. "Chocolate?" I pulled Taehyung's candy bag out of my pocket and offered it to Minjee. She gladly accepted it, a bright smile appearing on her face. "Now you steal from me?" Taehyung playfully scoffed in disbelief, to which Minjee just laughed. I giggled at her cuteness and stroked her hair. Maybe it was this softer phase I was going through, or the influence of Taehyung that made me think that I also forgot to give Minjee another chance. She was just a girl, not much older than I was when I got here. Minjee will be 13 next week, and such a simple thought about her age reminded me of all my birthdays here. With that thought in mind, I started thinking about how it would have been if I had an older female friend that would be like a sister to me. Since I didn’t have that, why wouldn’t I try to offer that to Minjee?

"Klepto." Taehyung teased under his breath, thinking I wouldn't hear him. "Rat." I said in a serious tone, focusing on the TV screen. After a few seconds, I observed Taehyung and his friend from the corner of my eye. Taehyung spoke, changing a mood to a more serious one. I couldn't make most of what they were saying, so all my questions were left unanswered. I did notice Taehyung felt more uneasy with each second, and that made my heart race with worry.

🌼🌼- Taehyung's POV -🌼🌼

Many thoughts went through my head when Jia entered the room. Was she doing this because she was curious about Namjoon or if this is just one of her games to provoke me? I tried not to stare too much at her and Minjee who were eating my chocolate candies and seemed like they were getting on pretty well. I smiled for a second but then looked at Namjoon, who swirled the lollipop with his tongue to the other side of the inside of his cheek.

"Taehyung-ah, I'm sorr-" Namjoon tried to speak, but I looked away. "Why didn't you answer that call?" I asked in a cold tone. he swallowed a hard lump and spoke. "I was scared." He quietly said. "I didn't know it would all end up this way." He said and I scoffed in disbelief. "I didn't want to run away-" He started speaking but I cut him off again, not letting him explain. "Why did you do that to me then?" I asked, my heart dropping each second passing by. "Taehyung-ah-" He spoke but I kept on talking. "If you came here to aplogize, then you should leave, hyung. I don't want to hear that from you. Liar." I said as I looked down. Namjoon's eyes watered. "C'mon Taehyung don't be like that. Remember how good it used to be." He said and slid a polaroid picture of all of us across the table. He also pulled out a blue spray can. All those painful memories flashed through my mind. I felt myself growing weaker, hating all of what had happened. Every beautiful memory now seemed so painful.

All the regret. All the pain I went through, hoping they would heal me. At that moment it was all great. I even forgot about what I had done when I was too occupied running. Running to our sea, without any thoughts of what would wait for us if we ever fell under the pressure.

If we could only turn back time. I wish I could be forgiven for the sin I made. For the blood spilled. How come my big sinner wings appeared in only a few short seconds after what I had done? Why did a curse immediately follow my bloody hands? I guess I deserve it all.

"Reminiscing about memories won't make me erase your failed promise to be by my side. Especially during the trial." I said, staring at him with disgust in my eyes. "I know." He said and looked down, not knowing what to say for it all to change to better. "What else do you want?" I asked in a rude tone, almost snapping at him. I turned my head slightly to my left to catch Jia staring at me. She quickly turned her head away. I observed her pretty eyes that focused all too well on the TV. Her soft hair. Touching her hair last night made my body and mind travel to many bad places, but a part of me craved for her. A part of me still wants to remember what physical affection feels like, even when I know I don't deserve it. "Jin hyung came by the gas station yesterday. He asked a lot about you." Namjoon spoke so timidly, making me remember my last bad encounter I had with hyung. A bad memory flushed my mind. All the bad memories we all experienced after we stopped going to the sea and after Jungkook's car accident.

"I don't want to see hyung." I directly spoke. "Taehyung, you don't really think that Seokjin hyung hit Jungkook, right?" He questioned, trying to make it seem absurd. "I don't know." I spat out, becoming more agitated and frustrated by my thoughts. So much pain washed over me, the more I thought about the past. And thinking about the past always led and still leads me to think about my biggest sin. My biggest regret and a trauma that caused me to be this abnormal creature who dreads physical contact.

Pain. I caused so much pain out of basic anger and fear. I was so angry watching him hurt his own blood all those years, yet I never thought I would do such a thing. Every touch started to hurt from that moment. I don’t think I could ever forget my sister’s screams of terror and the blood that gushed out of my father’s stomach. I remember my life after that. At first, when my friends would touch my shoulder in a comforting way, I would grip my teeth, feeling uncomfortable and not worth enough of any affection by any human. But soon that simple uncomfortable feeling turned into a phobia and pain.

So much pain. And the blood. The blood that covered my clean white t-shirt and my frail hands that were bound to be filthy forever. They will never be washed enough, no matter how many showers I take or how many times I sanitize my hands. The blood and murder I carry on my hands will forever be here.

"Can you go now? I'm not feeling well." I said and looked away from him. He tried to reach for my shoulder but stopped himself when he remembered my phobia. "I'm sorry, Taehyung. I didn't know it would all end up like this." Namjoon spoke and stood up. "Just leave me alone to rot in here. I don't deserve any better." I furrowed my eyebrows and whispered, to which Namjoon tried to comfort me. "Don't. Just leave." I spoke before he could, still looking away.

"I'm looking after her. The best I can." Namjoon said, talking about my sister. I could never look at her again. Not after she witnessed what I had done. The biggest trauma of them all, during all these years. "At least you're doing something." I said. "I'm sorry Taehyung. If you can ever forgive me, come meet me and we can all go to-" He tried to speak but I couldn't listen, so I cut him off. "The sea. I know." I furrowed my eyebrows and showed coldness. He sighed and spoke after a few long seconds. "Bye Taehyung." He said and started walking, leaving me with a spray can and a polaroid picture. Two damaging memories in such random objects.

🌼🌼- Jia's POV -🌼🌼

I heard a quickened steps as I turned my head to Taehyung. His friend got up and left, his eyes full of tears. Taehyung still sat on his chair, the expression on his face completely cold. After half a minute, he stood up and picked up a spray can and a polaroid picture his friend left, leaving me confused. He hurried down the hallway as I jumped up from the couch to follow him. He went to our opened room, kicking it with his leg to close it once he was inside. I timidly walked there, swallowing a hard lump in my throat. Collecting the courage before knocking, I breathed in and out. I softly knocked on the door. "Taehyung?" I spoke, slowly opening the door. I went inside and closed the door behind me, making the room escape the noise from the hallway. Taehyung held the spray can in his hand, and the polaroid picture in the other. "I don't think those are sanitized, Taehyung." I spoke, trying to break off the mere silence that was followed by my timid posture and his rapid breaths. "It's no point. I can't escape from it. From them. I can't. Why am I trying so hard?" He questioned himself, shutting his eyes over the loudness of his mind.

It made me think that Taehyung enjoyed misery because the feeling of guilt he felt. "Rat, please. Calm down." I softly spoke, walking over to him. I kneeled down and felt powerless because a touch wasn't comforting for him. And all I wanted to do was to hold him and stoke his hair.

"It's okay." I softly spoke, feeling my voice break and my tears water. Taehyung felt pain in his chest as he shut his eyes. He was going through one of his traumatic episodes again. I widened my eyes in shock. "I'll go get the nurses." I spoke in panic. I stood up but Taehyung stopped me by grabbing my arm. "Don't." He said as I gasped at sudden contact. He shut his eyes in a tight line and pulled me onto him, making me straddle his lap. He immediately attacked my lips, pressing soft kisses. I knew exactly right what he was doing in that moment. Kissing me and touching me was a punishment he wanted to put himself through. I immediately picked upon the feeling of guilt he felt and his groans of pain.

Taehyung's hands started stroking my thighs as he deepened the kiss. He started kneading the soft flesh hungrily, enjoying his pain and misery. I quickly moved away from him, standing up. I felt a tear roll down my cheek. "Don't hurt yourself like this, please Rat." I said, feeling my voice break again. He leaned his head against my stomach as I stood up. His arms were around my hips, not wanting let go of the misery. I felt myself completely breaking, so I moved away. "Stop hurting yourself!" I raised my voice and walked a few steps back.

Taehyung wiped his cheeks that were wet from his tears. "I don't deserve it. I don't deserve y-you. I should have been tak-taken away." He stuttered, trying to breathe. "Taken away? Taehyung, what are you talking about? Who was the guy that visited you?" I kneeled down again, trying to look into his eyes.

"A friend of mine. A liar. He didn't do it. He didn't pick up the phone. He let them take me." Taehyung whispered to himself, panically holding his hands over his ears. "Who is them? Who took you?" I softly questioned. "The police." He breathed out. "He didn't-didn't pick up the phone." He repeated in panic. "Taehyung. Why were you arrested? It happened multiple times didn't it?" I questioned, trying to figure it all out. My hand instinctively wanted to cup his cheek but I stopped myself, fighting that caring and affectionate urge. Taehyung spoke, nervously switching the topic after he saw my hand flinch back. "Why do you want to comfort me? How can you touch me? Can't you see how gross I am?!" He breathed out and in a flash got up and started walking around the room, trying to collect his breathing, unsuccessfully.

"Taehyung, tell me what you did. Please. What have you done so bad that ended up being this trauma? Why do you think you're gross?" I softly questioned walking behind his every nervous step. Taehyung kept shutting his eyes as I noticed his hands were shaking. "You're going to run away from me. You will leave me too." Taehyung was now crying, not wanting to tell me. "I'm not going to leave you. Just fucking tell me already, I can't handle this!" I screamed out, feeling miserable. He shook his head, avoiding eye contact. I got so much closer to him and grabbed him by his neck. He quickly moved my hand away as I spoke. "Fucking tell me-!" I raised my voice again, but quietly stood once Taehyung's raspy scream interrupted me.

"I KILLED MY FATHER!" He screamed out, inches away from my face. Then it was silence. In that deafening silence, an interesting thought made its way to my brain. A thought of everyday version of Taehyung, a clean, pure boy that dressed in white and took care of daisies as if he was one of their kind. He did have a tragic backstory and sad days when even his precious daisies gave him no meaning to this life we live in. That's Kim Taehyung. How could you ever imagine that exactly that boy, that lovable boy with perky ears, committed such a crime? Could you have guessed? No one could. That boy murdered another man. Now that boy, who committed such a sin, feels unbearable guilt. That angry boy who killed his father probably didn't think that his once fragile touch would cause so much pain. That was his touch that carried a curse. A curse and a misery no one would be able to understand.

"What-?" I asked, my facial expression stiffening. “I-I killed him. I stabbed him with the glass bottle.” He said and continued with an unbelievably pained expression on his face. Tears streamed down his face, saying all this out loud to me. “I don’t deserve any of this. They dragged me out of the water, you know?” He was whispering, trying to explain. “I didn’t mean to do it. He abused me and my sister for years, how could I have not snapped when I saw him?!” Taehyung’s voice broke as he raised his tone. “Calm down, Rat. It’s okay-” I tried to comfort him because I didn’t know what to say from all the shock. “It’s not fucking okay. I’m a monster.″ He flinched and covered his eyes with his hands. Taehyung stared at his hands and rubbed them against his white clothes. He had a sudden thought and headed for the door. “Taehyung, where are you going? Please calm down, please don’t go.” I pleaded for him, trying to make him stay. “I don’t deserve the comfort y-you want to offer me. I’m a monster. I don’t want to hurt you. Stay away from me, pl-please.” Taehyung spoke, suddenly changing his fear of losing me to a fear of hurting me. He walked through the door, opening the doorknob with his bare hands. Even in those smallest actions and details, I hated seeing him hurt himself like that.

He stormed down the hallway as I tried following him. People walked right past me, so I completely lost track of him. I started crying, some people noticing me. I walked to the art room, bumping into worried Jiyu. “Ji, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?” She quickly asked, stroking my shoulders. “I need to find him. I don’t know where he is. Tae-Taehyung.” I explained. “What do you mean you don’t know where he is?” She asked. “He ran-ran out of our room, he told me about his dad. He-he said it to me.” I barely explained, words caught in between my tongue and teeth. Jiyu widened her eyes but tried to stay calm, just so she can calm me down. “Okay, he must be here somewhere, Ji. Don’t panic.” She softly spoke and walked with me. Some nurses were confused, so Jiyu explained to them why I was crying. Whilst she was talking with them, my brain functioned quickly. The washroom. He probably went there. To “clear off” the blood, like the last time.

I started running towards the washroom, my mind blocking any sounds from the hallway noise or Jiyu calling out my name. I went inside and saw Taehyung’s figure. My brain was right, the sight of Taehyung’s scratched out red skin made my heart cave in inside of my chest. He stood under the running shower, shirtless, only in his pajama bottoms that he didn’t seem to mind. Scratching his skin with the rough sponge, his back was turned towards me. “Taehyung.” I spoke, my voice breaking. “Leave me alone! I need to clear off the blood. I need to!” He screamed. Not wanting him to irritate his skin till it bleeds, I ran over to him. “Taehyung, stop. It’s okay-” I tried to speak. “Don’t say that!” He shouted, making my knees buckle. He turned towards me, hyperventilating, mainly because he realised no water from this world could wash out the blood he saw. Without a thought, I went under the shower with him, trying to stop his hand that was holding the sponge, but he slapped my hand away. He shut his eyes in a tight line from the sudden contact. He kept on rubbing his skin. Desperate to keep him safe, I distracted him with a kiss. I kissed his lips, to which he stiffened. He pulled away, trying to move back. I held onto his neck and he clenched his fists, hating the contact, but easing to it to feel his beloved misery.

“Shhh, It’s okay.“ I said, leaning my forehead against his. He slid down to the wet floor, crying his eyes out. I turned off the water, my other hand around his shoulder. He wanted to break free but I held him tightly, his head pressing to my chest. He tried to push me away but he couldn’t, so he just cried onto me. Jiyu and the other nurses worriedly came inside and gasped when they saw us. Taehyung began holding onto me, letting me comfort him. “You’re not a monster, Taehyung.“ I softly spoke, stroking his wet hair. “I’m not going to leave.“ I said and kept on talking as he softly breathed. “Don’t rub your skin like that. Don’t hurt yourself, okay?“ I whispered, softening my grip but as he calmed down, he still held onto me tightly. Taehyung nodded and didn’t let go of me. Jiyu stared at us with pain plastered onto her face. I looked at her and looked down, not being able to explain anything. “Taehyung, sweety? Let’s go take care of you.“ She softly spoke as the other nurses walked closer. Jiyu stared at me as I nodded and tried to move away, but Taehyung was holding onto me, tightly. “Taehyung-ie, let me go.“ I softly spoke as he rested for a second before pulling away, his arms stiffening. I got up with him and the two short nurses guided him to the medical office. I looked over Jiyu’s shoulder, catching eye contact with him before he went out of my sight. His eyes were bloodshot red and his cheeks wet. His hair was wet too, making his perky ears poke out more through his hair. He stared through me before completely getting me out of his sight. “Jia.“ Jiyu spoke to me, making me snap back my attention to her. “How is he able to touch you?“ She asked, her face full of confusion. “If you’re thinking it’s enjoyable to him, it’s not.“ I answered, my eyes burning from crying. “I’ll explain everything.” I spoke up. “When he explains it to me too.“ I said and looked down to the wet floor.

part 9

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taenated · 7 years ago

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Yoonkook Theory

In this post, I’m gonna talk about yoonkook and their relationship since hyyh era till now. The whole theory is regarding the beautiful alternate universe bts have developed in their mvs. This is what I think about yoonkook.

Let’s start from the very beginning, I need u and run.

Look at Yoongi during I need u. There are two pillows and the way he’s caressing the bed, jungkook was there. He’s trying so hard to not disturb the lines and crescents formed by Jungkook’s weight on the bed, when he was there.

Now, we see jungkook walking aimlessly around, deliberately getting beaten up. During the mv shooting jungkook said he was running away from home. His home is Yoongi.

The fight that took place between yoonkook during run, happened before jungkook ran away from Yoongi.

Yoongi’s condition was really hard to understand but he shows signs of pyromania and ocd. The way he looks at fire is like he’s fascinated. He loves the feeling of burning something. It all started after his mother died in house fire and her favourite piano burned along with her. Fire signifies his anger.

Yoongi resents the piano too because it reminds him of his mother.

And that’s where Jungkook comes. He’s the light to yoongi’s darkness, he keeps him grounded. Jungkook makes him be a better person.

Jungkook is always saving Yoongi from giving in to his darkest desires. He’s keeping him sane.

But some days aren’t happy, the fight between yoonkook, jungkook was trying to protect him but Yoongi wouldn’t listen. So Jungkook left him alone.

That’s when Jungkook was hit by a car. The person who hit him was probably Jin.

Yoongi decides to set everything on fire, including himself. Maybe it happened after he knew about Jungkook’s accident or maybe not. Either way, he knew Jungkook wasn’t coming back.

So he finally gave in.

Now in euphoria, Jin travelled back in time, preventing the car crash. Allowing jungkook to save Yoongi from fire. Euphoria is the perfect world, where everything is alright.

Now one thing’s really fishy though, what about highlight reels? Due to Jin’s time travelling, all the universes are colliding together.

In highlight reels, Jungkook lost his memory. He forgot everything about Yoongi. But he did have flashbacks, he kept drawing him. Maybe Jungkook lost his memory after the car accident?? And that’s why Yoongi blames himself. He thinks it’s his fault. So the reason why he decides to set everything, including him on fire.

Even in first love and begin there are traces of Yoonkook. The burning swing, the painting, everything’s connected.

Yoonkook have a really complicated relationship. Are they lovers? Are they friends? What we know for certain is that they have a really strong connection. (I don’t think they’re brothers at all).

In ly:her notes, Jungkook wanted someone to love him throughout his life while Yoongi was afraid of loving someone. He thought he won’t be able to protect Jungkook.

Ahh that’s it for now! If you have any questions, theories and want to talk to me, hmu anytime, my ask box is always open! Remember my theories might change as the story progresses so nothing final yet! Tysm for sticking up with me ❤

#bts theories #analysis #theory #bts #comeback #euphoria #hyyh #yoonkook #yoongi #jungkook #sugakookie #suga #taehyung #jimin #hoseok #namjoon #seokjin #that's it for now

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yukahoo · 7 years ago

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Singularity - Visual parallels

Well, once you start it's hard to give it up.

What follows is a mainly visual comparative essay of some of the main parallels in V's Singularity intro MV and other BU videos. It's not a proper film analysis since I'm not really attempting to explain anything about Taehyung's storyline or how Singularity might fit into it all.

To be frank I just don't know enough of TH's story to feel confident in making any claims about it. Also, the song and MV should be enjoyed for their own sake as well, not just reduced into a simple puzzle piece in the BU grand narrative. So even though I point out some parallels and possible references, please don't think I'm trying to say the MV is only about those things.

So, unlike the Euphoria SF that seemed to call back to the HYYH series, I think Singularity has reminded most fans more of the Wings concept. The song is very similar to V's Wings solo Stigma, both in style and theme. The MV as well seems to play as an echo to the era.

Some simple examples of visual parallels. The Wings tour tailer:

Japanese version of Blood, Sweat & Tears.

Images of broken glass and breaking ice:

There are also some visual parallels to certain members that may or may not be intentional. Jimin:

Jungkook:

J-Hope:

J-Hope is an interesting link to consider since his and V's relationship was particularly adversarial in the Wings concept. Without getting too deep into it, J-Hope appeared as some kind of guard against the evil V represented. In the BS&T MV J-Hope seems to have failed to stop V but in the Japanese version the setup was turned on its head with J-Hope quite cruelly throwing darts at a seemingly wholly incapacitated V.

But, as stated above I just don't know enough about TH's story to give good commentary here. It's impossible for me to say if the colour references highlighted above mean something. But considering how close to each other the two music videos were shot I doubt the production team was completely unaware of the similarities.

Another member that could be expected to be alluded is Jin. Not only did the main narrative of BS&T circle around the two but their conflict that we still know so little about seems to be at the core of the group's friendship falling apart in the "real-life". But to be honest there isn't much that caught my eye on that front.

Once again, the possible parallel might just be a coincidence but I do find the comparison interesting. The room with Jin is sleek, monochrome and minimalist. The room V is standing in is the complete opposite: It is overflowing, baroque, decadent, decaying... I find the thought of the two men mirroring each other on both sides of the water’s surface interesting but honestly there isn’t really anything in the video to suggest that is the case.

This particular room with the weird, rectangular pool of water is the most intriguing set in the Singularity MV which otherwise was more on the bare side when it came to sets and props. There is a lot going on there but I'm not going to be attempting any theories about it.

A few things that did catch my eye though. One was the static-y analog TV hanging in the corner of the room which continues the pattern of weird technological mishmash mentioned in my Euphoria analysis.

Also we seem to have acquired yet another flower theme for this era. Previously and running parallel to each other we have had reoccurring references to lilies, peonies, wildflowers, small petals in general, the whole smeraldo plot twist, etc. This time the room seems to be full of roses (I assume, I'm really not a botanist). Stylistically, colour-wise and in their abundance they seem to line up with the bed of flowers that appeared in the Love Yourself tour poster.

Of course the flowers in the MV seem to be dying which puts the whole tour poster in quite an unsettling light.

When I first saw the MV, this room really reminded me of the Japanese version of Run but later realised it kinda works as a reference to Taehyung’s hideout place from the beginning of the Prologue SF (last seen in the Euphoria SF) as well.

I've always felt like the Japanese MV was the first trial run for symbolic storytelling in the BU and serves in some ways as an undiluted look at the essence of each member in the narrative. Or at least how the production team saw them back then. That said I never really got why V was filmed in such a weird, watery room and I'm still not convinced I understand it now.

But the parallel for me at least is obvious. Not only due to the water but because of the subtle colour reference, the writings/newsletters on the wall, the messiness of the room and the overall claustrophobic feel of a too-cramped space.

For the most part this new MV seems to ignore the "real-life" or HYYH side of the BU narrative. That includes the total absence of any obvious references to Namjoon who we know to be a central character in Taehyung's story. Still, considering the Serendipity MV and its lack of obvious connection to the narrative as well this is not very surprising. After all it is supposed to be the intro to the new album.

Still, there seems to be one small visual reference to the original Run MV too:

The MV ends with a pretty straightforward allusion to what seems to be a central theme of the upcoming album, i.e. the mask. Wearing masks was mentioned in the Highlight Reels, in KBS's end-of-the-year gayo as well as BTS’s performance intro at the Melon Music Awards. The overall message seems to encourage taking the mask off yet here V ends up putting it on. Easier said than done I guess.

The single black tear that falls from the eye of the mask is obviously something that many have traced back to the Wings era. The falling of colourful tears was an oft-repeated motif, significance of which never really got explained. Both JM and JK had it before as well as the black-winged statue widely assumed to represent V in the BS&T MV.

For me the tear that came to my mind first is the one falling from JM's eye in the Wings tour trailer. Not only because of the colour but there is only one tear. Also something in JM's pale, unmoving face kinda reminds me of a mask as well.

But perhaps an even stronger association for me is actually Jin's cracking face in that very same video.

Getting rid of the mask might be what we are aiming for in the Love Yourself era as a whole but I don’t think we are going to achieve that goal until the end of series. So assuming everything we think we know about the structure of the LY series and Jin’s role in the HYYH narrative, it would be perfectly symmetrical for him to be the one who will in the end provide us with the Answer.

#singularity #taehyung #bts v #bts #bts theory #jimin #jungkook #j-hope #jin #wings #Blood Sweat & Tears #bangtan universe

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basement-office-log · 6 years ago

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Some Thoughts about BTS...

So... this is basically, the story of how I got in and out of the BTS fandom. (Okay not exactly out because I’m still casually following them nowadays)

How I discovered them is ironically, like many of you, through youtube. It was just before the Run era I guess??? (around the end of 2015). Like somewhen between the Dope and Run era that I got in the fandom.

I guess I can consider myself as one of those depressed fans (lol), I actually remembered there was a option in the BTS fan survey around their BS&T era(???) that said “are you the kind of person that is easily depressed” and I ticked yes.

Almost instantaneously, I fell for the song “Butterfly” it was just the prologue that released back then. The MV was beautifully made, with a sad happy yet depressed undertone, perfectly described how I’m feeling back then.

I first noticed I’m depressed back then in 2015 (let’s be honest, college makes everyone depressed), more like “ahh so this is what being depressed is”.

And what now... I’m writing this after a tiring long day at work so things may jump back and forth...

Both their HYYH albums, I had gone through countless late nights listening the tracks on repeat, those are still my favourite albums up till today. Beapsae, instead of partying, that was the song that kept me awake till 5 a.m. ahh those memories... Same with Dope, I did not read the english lyrics until the hundredth repeat lmao. I was actually expecting the song to be about how cool I am, come to oppa and I’ll make you the princess kind of lyrics but ehh boi you surprised me with those raps hmmm.......

And... Jungkook, I did not like him when I first got into the fandom, to be honest. Because he’s younger than me and also he’s the center, main vocal of the group, despite the youngest. I remembered I was like, wow cocky brat isn’t it. Hehhhhhh but I grew to like him over time anyway, he’s cute, talented, good looking and all but still, it would be hella a headache if I were to have a younger brother like him.

It took me a year to like Jungkook because... The more I look at stuff, he’s just a regular boy, growing up, working hard, trying not to disappoint his parents and people around him. In a sense, aren’t we all just like that? There really is no reason to hate.

Another member is Jimin. He’s another member that I don’t quite like when I just got in the fandom. We all know that he acted a bit flirtatious during his debut days, up to the Danger era, honestly, his eye make-up makes me feeling uncomfortable to look at him. That’s the first thing. The appearance and the way he acts, in no way I’m trying to say he’s ugly, because if I were to compare myself to him, umm I probably looked like a bum lol.

It took me a lot longer to like Jimin, it’s until the Spring Day era that I thought, alright Jimin is charismatic and cute, admit it. Hah yea... Now, this is when the second stage of not liking Jimin comes. I started to fear him. It’s weird I know, why would I scared of “the mochi of BTS” Let me tell you why.

It’s scary to see how hard a person can work, that his goal is probably more important than his life. It makes me think that I am not and will not be a person like this, living is more important than what I am achieving. I wouldn’t want to risk my life doing things, however important that thing might be. Well people said, you will never achieve your goal like this if you don’t put your life on it. But I don’t care about that, but at the same time I’m feeling guilty about that.

It might be a Korean thing, we all know Koreans worked insanely hard because of society standards. Or it also could be a Jimin thing, Nevertheless, this man have my respect. The respect that I keeps me away from accepting him.

I’m kind of in the neutral range with Suga, J-hope and Jin like they are cool, fantastic, great people.

-----

This is almost 24 hours later, since the last paragraph. Again, a long and tiring day, after work, prolly a few minutes away from losing consciousness (a.k.a. falling asleep lol)

This shit is going to be very VERY long, nah it doesn’t matter because no one is going to read this anyway, even if I tagged BTS below, I’m writing this for myself.

I’ll just briefly talk about RM and V before going into my main topic today, (all because I cut myself off yesterday to hit the hay ekkk).

Rapmon bro, the reason why I decided to look into this group is because of his mixtape. I have 2 of his tracks in my old phone back then, everything was gone when my phone literally died a few months back. (The whole album is available for free download anyway so its all good) I have no interest in hip hop or whatsoever back then, but I became interested in hip-hop just a little after listening to his mixtape album. He is really someone I look up to, honestly, it’s no easy job to be a leader, not just in idol groups but just in every field in general. I tried becoming one because my mother always expect me to be one, after a few attempts (it was back in high school by the way) I thought it’s just not my thing, I’m more of a following instruction kind of person, I do my part and make sure everyone is okay. But that doesn’t mean that I don’t want to become a leader like person. In the future, maybe... But my depression went really downhill these days, so I’m not sure if that day will come. But I do aspire to become someone like him.

V or I prefer calling him Tae. He is my first bias. His existence just screams “RELATABLE” to me, (minus his looks) He seemed to be struggling with words whenever he tries to say something. That also is something I had to deal with on a daily basis. It’s like when you have good looks, everything you did is cute, but for me, it’s more like an annoyance. So I tried to keep quiet as much as possible. Nevertheless, I just hope that I will meet someone that will understand the way I talk like the other BTS members did with Tae, have a best friend like Jimin and... yea.

BTS hmm the annual sit and talk for part of their BTS Festa thingy, it’s called the Dinner Party this year hmm cool. I stopped watching after the first 30 minutes, for the exact reason why I also did not watch more than 5 minutes of last year’s sit and talk.

We all know that, they had achieved tremendous success for the past few years. A lot of their songs often circle around their hardships and what fuck the haters?? If that make sense. Whenever they have talks like this, I always bail myself out there, and yea I never install Vlive back after I got this new phone because there really is no reason to catch every live and Run BTS episodes now.

This was not long before the DNA era, I always found myself having thoughts like:

“So you have started to avoid BTS hmm?” Yea right, took me a while to admit. I used to not miss a single notification. There is no more random videos on the BangtanTV channel as they get more and more popular, there is just backstages and really just back stages and behind the scenes of their daily schedules and tours. It shows that they are working hard, really hard. Which leads me to the next question.

“It feels uncomfortable isn’t it, comparing yourself to a worldwide famous group of artist?” Hmph. I worked hard, really hard. I even live by the motto, do or die. But that doesn’t seemed to be enough. People around me, always told me that I should push myself more. I DID, I REALLY DID, BUT WHY CAN’T YOU SEE IT.

“But BTS can, why can’t you?” I’m just going to work harder, I tell myself. I don’t have to face the same pressure as BTS did, I’m having it way more easier. But at the same time, there is seven of them in BTS, but there is only one me.

The voice at the back of my head, you are not helping.

I swiped away all notifications from BangtanTV ever since.

Because seeing them having each other around reminds me how am I not going to have friends like this, how I’m never going to achieve this much. But mostly it reminds me how lonely I am.

By the time the Mic Drop remix released, I started having what I called the depressive episodes. I think I’m going to describe them as a waking nightmare, all the thoughts in my head are killing each other, fighting for the limited space in my head. Which ever thought that dominate my mind is the winner. I stared into blankness, tears and snots all over my face, hyperventilating while finding excuses to tell people what happened to me if anyone ever sees me.

Honestly I don’t think people is going to read this... but the tag is down there just for the slightest hope that people that come across this will know that, ahh there are people like this out there too... Some of you might think, this is pathetic, attention seeking but at the end of the day, I just want some closure for myself. I need to admit that, no matter how much interviews I watch, how much memes I’ve seen everyday, they are not going to be my friends. They will forever be the people in screens, and I belong to the 97% of the population that will lead a normal life.

Here I am, the Fake Love era that comes to a close. I can’t even bring myself to listen to the whole album, because chances are, some of the lyrics are going to trigger the shit out of me. Same goes with Suga’s mixtape, J-hope’s mixtape.

I really miss the days where they made simple love songs like the ones in the Dark and Wild album. Blanket Kick is my personal favourite.

I’m sure there are still a lot more that I had in mind but I just forget what is it about to include in this. I’ll get a part 2 done when there is time.

BTS now just feels like the popular kids I went to school with, now graduated from a school named ARMY, they are like the ex-classmates I bump into once in a while. Thank you, for the best 3 years in my life. I had lots of laughter, times that I forgot about my sadness and your warm words that took me through difficult times. You are the reason that I survived until today and also the trigger of some of my episodes.

SInce it’s already past midnight, I wanted to say Happy 5th debut anniversary, stay healthy (to both BTS and ARMY out there) be happy and may you all be reaching higher and higher till you celebrate your 10th anniversary. (or maybe longer)

*Just a sidenote, as a Malaysian fan, I’m just going to keep calling Rapmon, Rapmon because RM is our effin currency, I don’t want to be reminded of money issues whenever I thought of you. As far as I know, you do have a beautiful name as your mother definitely did not named you Rap Monster. It’s just that stage name exist for a reason. And I think I know at least 5 Jins in real life, so the wide shoulder hyung is just going to be Kim Seok Jin in my head haha yea.

#bts #unpopular opinion

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taerodactyl · 7 years ago

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BTS Theories

So this is mostly based on HYYH era MVs and the LY Highlight Reels, as well as the LY teaser photos as translated by peachisoda, risingbangtan, and bulletproof_sg that were reposted on reddit (found here) “HYYH: The Notes” that were include in the LY albums, translated by SnKHeart on wattpad (found here). There are a few errors or holes in it that I will update later, most revolving around Jimin and Jungkook, but this is what I have so far:

Please keep in mind that I pieced all of this together myself, so it is not necessarily accurate or what the BigHit writers were going for, also I did not pay attention to the chronological order of the videos as they were released and pieced them together to make more sense in a story-type way. If you disagree with anything, find anything wrong, or want to add something to this, then let me know because this version is always going to be open to change (:

Namjoon tried to continue his adult life (INU; Gas station) and he became a sense of stability for Taehyung, who always confided in him when something was wrong because Taehyung was still a child in his mind. He chose to take his childhood away when he took the life of his father (INU 19+ ver.) which is why Namjoon is the only sense of stable adulthood in his life. He sees him as someone who can get their life together and maintain a stable job, while he cannot even control his feelings and emotions.

Yoongi’s mother died in a house fire and her beloved piano burnt down with it. Since then he swore to never touch a piano again (HYYH: The Notes) but it's worse for him because Jungkook, his loyal dongsaeng, confides in him and tells him his problems. Naive Jungkook doesn't realize that Yoongi has problems of his own because he keeps to himself so Yoongi literally leaves school and Jungkook behind and they don't see each other for a long time. Yoongi meets a girl (highlight reels) and he pushes her away because he believes that he isn't someone who is worthy of her (LY teaser poster trans.) and pushes her away and it's seen in INU that on the bed he lays on, someone had been there before because the sheets are wrinkled, so we're only left to assume it's the girl he loves but pushed away from the highlight reels. That's also why he is seen burning things down because his childhood home was burnt down and fire brings back his childhood pain, it brings back the only problem he had encountered as a child as opposed to his adult life which is filled with problems. He wants to go back.

Hoseok has narcolepsy (which was confirmed by Hoseok himself in the making of INU) which explains the pills. He befriended Jimin in junior high/high school (estimate from HYYH notes; there's no specific dates, just year numbers that aren’t placed in relation to their lives) and Jimin was said to go to the hospital frequently and after being discharged from the hospital, he would always move schools. At one point, Jimin had a seizure and Hoseok had blamed himself for it because Jimin had moved schools immediately after, they somehow lost contact which was odd to me because J-Hope was said to have been taken in by Jimin’s family, but until further interpretation is found, I’m going to assume that he meant in a “this is my son’s best friend, so he’s like our son” kind of way.

Jimin, because of his condition (which was never directly stated, but it is said that he had a seizure, so maybe he had epilepsy) and constant moving, wanted to be normal. At the same time though, he wanted to die because he could never fit in and could never make friends because he never stayed at the same school for a long period of time. He sees videos of Hoseok dancing (HYYH notes) and wants to be like him, as he was his only sense of normal in his whole life. He learns how to dance as seen in the highlight reels but he never sees himself as an equal to Hoseok but still worse than him.

Taehyung was depressed because he killed his father who had been abusing him and his sister his whole life and felt guilty not because he killed him but because his sister left and turned to a life of delinquency because of Taehyung killing their father. She never had a stable sense of an adult in her life, so she never had someone to tell her not to steal and keep her from doing bad things. Taehyung was the same way, but because of Namjoon, he learned how to free himself from his dark past and be there for his sister which he had once abandoned (This is all assuming that the girl in Taehyung’s scenes in the highlight reels is his sister and not a girl or interest which is why they're like strangers because they've fallen so far apart after their fathers death that they are no longer familiar with each. This is also why he gets so angry and pays for her when she tries to steal)

Jungkook was bullied and beaten up by classmates in black hoods (INU, HYYH Notes), he confides in Yoongi but Yoongi left because he had his own problems so when Yoongi left, he picked up the one thing that reminded him of Yoongi; the piano. He learned songs that Yoongi once played in a similar manner to Jimin idolizing Hoseok and learning his dances). He eventually falls off the school rooftop/gets ran over (I haven’t found enough evidence to conclude which one it is, because in INU there is a scene in which Jungkook is seen with an approaching car but it doesn’t guarantee that he is hit by a car. Same thing with the roof thing, in the HYYH notes it is hinted that he did/could have fallen off of the school roof, but wasn’t said for sure.) He then ends up in a wheelchair and in a hospital for a prolonged period of time and he meets a girl he's interested in but she leaves long before he can get any of her contact information and is left alone yet again.

So with Jin, It's seen in the last highlight reel that he went back in time to save his girl that got ran over. So my theory is that he can not only travel in time but between universes; like doctor who on steroids. And every music video/grouping of music videos represents a different universe in which different decisions are reflected: one in which Jungkook gets hit by a car (INU) and one where he doesn't (literally every other MV), one in which Taehyung is evil and Hoseok is good (BTS kor. ver.), and one where it's the opposite (BS&T Jap. ver.), and one in which Jin’s girl dies and one in which she doesn't, etc. So Jin being an inter-dimensional traveler sees all of these worlds which is why he's always seen as being distant and like a guardian of sorts, watching over the boys and making sure they stay out of trouble (On stage prologue, he’s seen at a distance recording but never really near the boys; BS&T Jap. ver., he’s seen as the “overlooker” of their worlds so to speak and kind of just remains alone, same with INU) but every time he goes back to save one who is dying, another must die. So whenever he makes the decision to go back and alter time in some way, it happens to another person or in another dimension (I got this idea from the TV show Pushing Daisies in which a man is given the power to kill someone by touching them once, but if he touches them again, someone close to that person dies and that person comes back to life.) because you must replace a death with another death or it throws time out of balance which explains the wormhole in many of their videos, in specific, the Japanese version of BS&T. Jimin from one universe meets Jimin from another universe by traveling through a wormhole created by Jin's time traveling and he ultimately dies AND blows up the surrounding universe. This also explains why Jin is always seemingly depressed, he HAS TO WATCH ALL OF HIS FRIENDS DIE OVER AND OVER AGAIN. And of course, this will eventually continue until the universe chooses him as the one to die in place of another one of the boys, which in theory is why Jin is seen as distancing himself from the boys because he knows that for all of them to live, someone in the friend circle must die, and if he distances himself from them, when the universe chooses him, it won't hurt as much.

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