#there's so much more i could add but that's for another post
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PART 4
"July 1, 2013:
Cross on hand (Harry) - NYC [Harry's 42th tattoo]
August 9, 2013:
Tic-Tac-Toe board (Louis) - FN [Louis' 25th tattoo]
Band with card suites (Louis) - FN [Louis' 26th tattoo]
Bus 1 (Louis) - FN [Louis' 27th tattoo]
Meta: Louis went to the tattoo parlor very late Friday night/very early Saturday morning (August 9/10). He went with Eleanor, Zayn, Liam, Liam’s mother and several other people. Zayn also has the “Bus 1” tattoo (as does their bus driver). It is interesting to note that the heart on the band may be turned toward Louis intentionally as the club and spade face outward. The diamond makes it difficult to tell.
September 10, 2013*:
Rose Tattoo (Harry) - Unknown L.A. [Harry's 43rd tattoo]
October 11, 2013:
Pacman Tattoo (Louis) - Unknown Auckland, NZ [Louis' 28th tattoo]
October 26, 2013*:
Spider web (Louis) - Unknown [Louis' 29th tattoo]
January 11, 2014*:
Anchor (Harry) - Unknown L.A. [Harry's 44th tattoo]
Meta: [Just with the 2 swallows he got on November 8, 2012, which covered up his "LOVE banner", the anchor was Harry's 2nd cover-up. It now covers his "I CAN'T CHANGE..." tattoo (his 5th, first seen on July 27, 2012), which many suspect he got in place of the tattered Leeds Festival 2011 bracelet. (He went to Leeds 2011 festival with Louis and still wore the festival bracelet until long after)]
The anchor is yet another tattoo from this website [link no longer active], which is nothing definitive but something to file away because wow, that’s a lot of tattoos coming from the same website that Harry & Louis both have.
Most anchor tattoos are done with a rope, but Harry’s doesn’t have a rope. Guess who has a rope... In the same mirrored position on the opposite wrist. Yes. This is real life.
To add insult to injury, the first time we saw Louis in England in 2014 was miraculously the same day we first saw Harry with the anchor tattoo (there is cause to believe Louis was in LA the previous week).
BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY, Louis showed up in England wearing a shirt with a giant anchor on it (much like when he wore the “it is what it is” shirt after he got that tattoo in 2013, but before we could tell what the tattoo said).
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA WHY.
And here is more meta on how the "It is what it is" and the butterfly were 2 designs from the same flash design sheet by Liam Sparkes:
January 16, 2014*:
Holy Bible/Book (Harry) - Unknown L.A. [Harry's 45th tattoo]
[Meta: This is Harry's 3rd cover up, covering his "Things I can't", which we had first seen on October 12, 2012. It's interesting that the "can't" was still left somewhat visible.]
February 18, 2014:
Anatomical heart (Harry) - LS [Harry's 46th tattoo]
[Meta: It's interesting to note that the heart is mirrored, as if it's not his own heart, but the heart of someone he's embracing/standing opposite him.]
Laurels (Harry) - LS [Harry's 47th tattoo]
Meta: [This is Harry's 4th cover up, covering up his "Might as well..." tattoo which we had seen first on October 18, 2012.]
I put the laurels here on the same day as the anatomical heart, because we know Harry was at Liam’s shop that day and got the heart. Liam recently posted this image on his instagram of laurels he did..
..and they are very similar to Harry’s design, as well. I think it’s most likely Harry got them this day, as well.
March 8, 2014:
Arrow (Louis) - FN [Louis' 30th tattoo]
Meta: So a little over 2 weeks after Harry got the anatomical heart, Louis got an arrow. [Yes, again, this is real life. Now I go cry.]
Much like this concept, except spread over 2 people:
May 8, 2014:
Brasil! (Harry) - Unknown (Brazil) [Harry's 48th tattoo]
August 15, 2014:
Skull & Crossbones (Louis) - East River Tattoo (NYC) [Louis' 31st tattoo]
September 7, 2014*:
Smiley face on left thigh (Louis) - Unknown [Louis' 32nd tattoo]
November 10, 2014:
Mermaid (Harry) - LS [Harry's 49th tattoo]
"Meta: "In an interview with Hollywood Life, [Harry] revealed the inspiration behind this one: “I am a mermaid,” he said when asked about it. So there’s that." (source) - Never change, Harold, never change lmao]
You Booze, You Lose & Liquor Bottle (Harry) - LS [Harry's 50th tattoo]
November 25, 2014:
Dagger (Louis) - Bondi Ink [Louis 33rd tattoo]
[in case anyone ever doubted that he indeed got a d a g g e r
and once more, with feeling...
--
continued in Part 5
TIMELINE: TATTOOS TO DATE
This is organized by date. All tattoos are linked to photos, unless they are major tattoos I want to talk about, in which case I have inserted the photos into the post. (Special thanks to thelegohouselove and their wonderful tattoo masterposts with pictures)
Dates are dates I believe they actually got the tattoos. If I can’t find a date they got the tattoo, I have indicated it with a “*” which is the first date we saw the tattoo.
Before we begin, fun facts that might blow your mind:
Harry has 56 tattoos that we know of.
Louis 38 tattoos that we know of.
Harry got 30 of his 56 tattoos between June and October 2012. That’s, on average, about 8/month.
Louis got 10 of his 37 between October and December 2012. That’s, on average, about 5/month.
The most Harry ever got on one day is 4. He got 13 in a 7 day period in October 2012. The most Louis ever got on one day was 5 on February 25 of 2013.
Artist counts for Harry: Tom Atkins (10); Liam Sparkes (10); Freddy Negrete (8); Kevin Paul (3).
Artist counts for Louis: Skunx (7); Liam Sparkes (4); Freddy Negrete (4).
Some of this stuff isn’t an exact science. Some of it is me making an educated guess, especially involving some of Harry’s tattoos in October and Louis’ “The Rogue” vs. “It is what it is” and Harry’s 3 Nails. So bear that in mind.
Over all, this should give you a good idea of just how much the tattoos seem to be an outlet during highly-closeted and stressful times (Harry’s June-October spree that gave way to the birds, ship & compass and butterfly and Louis’ October-December Haylor spree), not only in date alone, but also in the subject of the tattoo.
Thank you to Kerry, Jess & awesomeanonfriend for the cheerleading and fact-checking and Angela for her insight.
Let’s do this.
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Jikook came home
God, how I missed this.
How I miss them!!
Before getting into the whole JM post followed by the cute-flirty interaction that followed, I will take this opportunity in congratulating both JM and JK for their MAMA awards achievements.
JM winning Daesang fans choice of the year.🎉🎉
JK winning top 10 fans choice, best male artist and best dance performance (SNTY).🎉🎉
JM being the sweetheart that he is came to us with a lengthy post to thank Army for voting and receiving a Daesang.
There are a couple of nuanced differences in some of the translations, but all in all, they are pretty much on the same page.
The main difference I've seen is the translation of this part:
벙벙 벙벙 벙벙벙벙벙
Being it "dumbfounded" or "stunned" or "bemused".
I think this probably captures it best:
And then we had JK....
Who was most likely sitting there right by JM's side, the speed of their back and forth being one of the indications to that (we are talking within seconds here), not to mention patterns of past behaviour with those two.
Do we discuss for a second the Weverse translation of the discussion?
Like wtf? 🤣🤣
Ok, so the actual translation would be:
Insert the word of bemusement of your choice I guess, lol. But basically we have JM telling us he's stunned/dumbfounded and mainly happy and then that back and forth between those two right in front of our salads.
Oh, and can someone explain the @JK to me please? I mean, I get JM @JK -ing when posting his replies, but why the hell is JK @JK -ing when posting his replies to JM?🤣🤣
The way those two keep doing this shit (in such a good way, may I add) is just absolutely and utterly hilarious.
This whole exchange gives me these vibes:
And Idk why, but this interaction came straight to mind as well when I saw this back and forth between them...
Take those two and combine them and then picture that in mind with this back and forth going on:
Oh, and do I mention that obviously they had access to Internet, enough to have this back and forth between them, while both in the same place, and JK preferring to flirt in our faces with JM rather than post himself about his wins, which I can assure you he knew of. You know how it is when you don't want to take away from your boyfriend's thunder...
Maybe we'll hear from him later on maybe not, but this was about JM, his win, his moment, his post, his excitement.
And JK CANNOT miss out on a little teasing-flirtatious banter with his man, now can he?
Let's back track for one moment, because I do want to talk about JM inserting JK into his post. I do believe this is going to be a new standard/constant/reality. You know, the "me and JK"/ "JK and I" or "me and JM"/"JM and I". That very natural way of inserting one another in their interactions/conversations with us. Now, don't get me wrong, this is not a new thing what so ever. They have been doing this since forever. But I do think that it's going to become more of a constant and less of a "OMG, he mentioned JK/JM" moment for us. They have shown us for years, but more so over the past year, just how important they are to each other, but even more so, just how intertwined their lives are with one another. They literally could not even part ways to do their military service!! Choosing to spend those 18 months together, even if it meant having to endure much harsher conditions and a much more difficult service as a whole. All to be able to be together. With each other. What I'm saying is that I do think we will be getting so much more of "US" from those two.
Openly and proudly.
US.
One last thing, and again this is either Jikook coincidence or kismet or maybe not too much of a coincidence and more of a conscious decision, but JM's post yesterday, 23 Nov 2024, was posted on the year mark of Jikook leaving for their oh so very special and emotionally charged Japan trip, 23 Nov 2023.
💜💜💜
Coincidence or not, we got Jikook back then, and after radio silence from those two for such a long time, we got Jikook yesterday again!!!
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Spoilers for Transformers One.
On the one hand, I do think Orion was right when he said "rebuilding Iacon cannot begin with an execution" (they'd just thoroughly trounced Sentinel in every way, he wasn't a threat anymore, there wasn't an immediate need to kill him beyond the desire for revenge).
On the other hand, on a purely visceral level I do not have a problem with Sentinel getting ripped in half because fuck that guy lmao. Get your revenge, Dee, you deserve it.
But on the other other hand, I do believe that Orion's actions were motivated not by any desire to save Sentinel, but by concern for Dee. (I think these posts make a good point about that; it doesn't seem that Orion was even deliberately trying to sacrifice himself when he got shot, I think he just wanted to get between Dee and Sentinel so he could talk to Dee.)
But on the other other other hand, Orion really did not choose his words well in that scene. "Don't be like Sentinel" was the WORST thing he could've possibly said, all things considered. A while ago I saw a post that described it as "telling a victim they're just as bad as their abuser" and yeah, I agree with that assessment. That probably wasn't how Orion intended that to come off, but there's no way it wouldn't have sounded like that to Dee. Maybe it wouldn't have been possible to talk Dee down from killing Sentinel in that moment, but if it had been at all possible, that was definitely not the way to do it.
However, while this leads to a horrible outcome for the characters, I'm not sure it's such a bad thing for the narrative. It's painfully realistic, actually. Sometimes, people who have nothing but good intentions will say stupid, hurtful things. Sometimes, when someone is in a state where all they can feel is pain and rage, they will lash out without thinking of the consequences, and in doing so they might hurt someone they love. Obviously in the real world this does not usually involve a giant robot shooting another giant robot with a laser cannon, but that's one of the great things about sci-fi and fantasy; a laser cannon can be a metaphor for the horrors we face in real life.
Also, based on Orion's behaviour up until that point in the movie, it's pretty in-character for him to say the worst possible thing at the worst possible time to someone who is clearly suffering. You can tell he has a lot of compassion and generally means well, but that doesn't stop him from being an insensitive dick at times. And I like that. I like it when characters have Layers. (Orion and Dee both have a lot of Layers, and I am fascinated by the way some of the same personality traits manifest very differently in each of them, but that's not what this post is about, perhaps I'll ramble about that another time.)
Basically what I'm saying is:
I think Orion was both right and wrong (right about it not being necessary to kill Sentinel, and right that a public execution was a bad fucking idea; very, very wrong in the way he expressed that to Dee),
I'm not going to say Dee did nothing wrong, but I completely understand where he is coming from (and I'd be lying if I said that when he killed Sentinel there wasn't a part of my brain screaming YEAAAAH, YOU GO GIRL, RIP THAT FUCKER APART),
I think that Optimus Prime should have flaws and fuck up sometimes, because that makes him more interesting as a character, and in the case of TF1, because having him inadvertently contribute to Dee's downward spiral adds to the tragedy of it all (and I do think this movie can rightly be called a tragedy of Shakespearean proportions),
and, above all,
FUCK Sentinel Prime. Seriously, fuck that guy SO much.
#transformers#transformers one#optimus prime#orion pax#megatron#d 16#sentinel prime#spoilers#maccadam#now if you'll excuse me i have to go sit in a corner and cry over the cartoon robots yet again. everyone is welcome to join me.#in which i post#text post
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I did a whole bunch of drawings for Jason's team two weeks back, so now its time to concentrate on Steph's team! Here we've got 4 new characters for her team, with a couple extra tomorrow as well. Lets go into to them, one by one.
First up is the lantern for the group, more specifically a Violet Lantern apprentice aka Miri Riam! Her reasons for coming to earth is unknown at the moment but they seem to have some connection to Carol Ferris. Carol's also a Violet Lantern and Hal's(Green Lantern) on-and-off girlfriend and occasional antagonist. Perhaps Miri was sent to become Carol's apprentice? I've got more info on whats happening there, but thats for later.
As for why Miri was chosen for the group, I knew I wanted some kind of Lantern for the team, but couldn't find a green lantern that was both in Steph's age group and have fun interactions with them. But then I thought, does it have to be a green lantern? I had a red lantern for Jason's group after all. I looked around and found Miri! I don't know her exact age but I knew she was a young adult, so I'm just gonna have her be around Steph's age group.
The Violet Lanterns Corps are very ...enthusiastic about the power of love and Miri's no exception. She wants everyone to know the joy of Love, she's honestly kinda annoying about it. I remember this one GL issue where she was destroying a city just to get Kyle and Soranik to resolve their love troubles. That pretty much became the basis for how I'm writing Miri's personality. Like I said above, I'll get more into Miri at a later time.
Next is Maxine Hunkel aka Cyclone, granddaughter of Ma Hunkel aka the golden age Red Tornado! I already posted a drawing of her a while back, I thought she'd make a fun fit for the team. She's has such high energy and so much enthusiasm I couldn't help but find her utterly endearing. I think at a later point she'll end up joining the JSA but for now she's just having fun with this team.
Btw I thought that maybe her grandmother, Ma Hunkel, could fit a similar role that the other Red Tornado did for Young Justice, helping out a young hero team. Just a way to emphasize how Steph and Tim's teams can serve as foils to each other.
Next up is the archer of the group, Mia Dearden aka Speedy II. Tho she should probably have a different name due to Roy still being Speedy atm. Maybe Speedette? Ehhh, gotta workshop that.
Anyways here's Mia and Steph meeting as civilians, with Mia showing off her bow. Mia seems to be in some sort of school uniform, perhaps Oliver is sponsoring her to go to a fancy academy? Her backstory is similar to canon, with Oliver saving her from bad people. I'm not sure if her story should be exactly the same as canon, since Mia is 10 but terrible things like that do happen in real life to young children. But I don't know if a goofy au like mine is the best place to show that. But for now lets just say Mia is currently trying to heal and become a hero like Green Arrow.
I imagine Steph and Mia get along really well, they just get each other in a lot of ways. Steph can see Mia might be hurting inside and wants to cheer her up, hopefully with all of Mia's new friends she can.
Last up is Jaime Reyes aka Blue Beetle III. Unfortunately I haven't drawn him all that much so no individual drawing for him, tho I do like him.
As for why Jaime, I remember liking him in the YJ cartoon and found him pretty likeable in the comics as well. But I've always like the spiderman hero archetype anyways, which Jaime fits really well (I mean, it was done on purpose). Static and Sideways also fit the archetype and are in the team as well. Arguably you can say add Steph to this too, probably more than Tim in my personal opinion.
Another reason I wanted to add Jaime is that he and Steph almost became teammates in canon, in a failed Young Justice project. What could have been huh. Third reason is more silly tho, if Barbara and Ted Kord start to date in this au, imagine how grossed out Steph and Jaime will be lmao.
So there's four new teammates for the team, but! I've got a couple extra for tomorrow! And later on I hope to finally post some more doodles of these characters (some of them are real old, more than a year old). Especially Miri, she turned out to be such a fun character, and I've always liked the all the lantern corps. Here's a bonus doodle of them btw (with bonus unmasked Sideways):
So many new members, well, hope you liked all that!
#DC Comics#Stephanie Brown#Jackson Hyde#Kara Zor El#M'gann M'orzz#Miri Riam#Maxine Hunkel#Jaime Reyes#Mia Dearden#Carol Ferris#Derek James#my art#Training Wheels au
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BSD Locations- Yokohama Visit 2024 - Part 2
Part 2 of my adventure in Yokohama~!
Link to Part 1
Motomachi Plaza (S3EP30)
The place where Higuchi was spying on Gin and then runs into Atsushi and Kunikida lol. Its a small mall (?) overlooking Motomachi street, the exact street where Atsushi and Dazai were walking in season 1 episode 2. She was spying from the first floor and honestly, it was a fairly noticeable place, hardly ideal for spying on anyone lmao. No wonder Atsushi and Kunikida noticed her immediately 😂
Yokohama Chinatown (S1EP9, S3EP30)
Only about 5 minutes walk from Motomachi street is Chinatown. Honestly I was kinda amazed at how near identical even the path leading to Chinatown was. I had to wait for a while for the signal to turn green. Having an ability like Katai would have been convenient hahaha XD. Gin's escape route in the anime is quite realistic from the point of view of the actual locations, which is just incredible!
The gate is so identical in the second screenshot and I noticed later that even the 7-eleven on the right makes an appearance in the anime. The gate in the first screenshot is probably a different one though :')
Yokohama Kantei Temple (S3EP36)
This temple only makes a brief appearance in the anime, when Tanizaki is talking to Dazai on the phone after his surgery. It's a really beautiful temple located inside Chinatown. There was another temple that looked similar, but that turned out to be a different one lol. You have to pay if you want to enter into the main shrine, otherwise it's free to enter :)
While I was taking some pictures, I unexpectedly ran into a couple of BSD fans here who saw my Kunikida ita bag lol XD. They were from Kyoto and were visiting Yokohama on the same mission as me HAHAHA. It was really wholesome and I was so happy to know there were other fans curious about the real life locations like me!!
Nippon Yusen Hikawa Maru, Yamashita Park (S3EP31)
Such a lovely place to spend the day, maybe even at night, walking around!! There were many benches and sitting areas to relax and catch up. I could have taken a similar picture to the anime, but I obviously got it wrong lol. This place was about 8-10 minutes walk from the temple in Chinatown. I think you can enter the cruise museum for a small fee. I only went to the souvenir shop outside in the port area to buy some souvenirs, and the cashier there was also a BSD fan!! They said their favorite character was Akutagawa! 🥹
World Square (S3EP30)
This is close to Yamashita Park, but honestly it was so much farther than I expected, and there's so many stairs to climb too. (My legs were already killing me at this point and it was just noon with still many places to cover 😭). Katai confessed his feelings to Gin here, and honestly I would hardly consider the actual location to be an ideal spot for a confession ajdlslfsjk. The fountain wasn't really working, there were many leaves scattered about and also it's so far away from Chinatown. How did they even get to this place? It was a nice and quiet neighborhood without too many people around though, so it's good for a private discussion I suppose.
Yokohama Marine Tower (S4EP41)
You can see the tower from this square too. This is the place where Ranpo and Poe meet Mushitarou in S4. I was planning to go to the actual tower after lunch, but as expected I couldn't manage my time very well considering I still had many other places I wanted to visit remaining in my list ajdlslfsjk.
That's the end of part 2! There will probably be two more parts...depending on how many images I can add in one post lol...
#bungou stray dogs#bsd Yokohama#bsd higuchi#bsd kunikida#bsd dazai#bsd atsushi#bsd tanizaki#bsd katai#i tried to put the kunikida shimeji on my laptop while working on this post but I failed#I'm a boomer now who doesn't understand technology 😔#also it was just so strangely touching meeting bsd fans at the actual places featuring in the anime#😭😭
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Another Video Essay of Lorch in need of debunking — “Maturity Isn’t Moral Grey”
Any thoughts on one of You-Know-Who’s worst videos?
If you want me to point to something specific that she gets wrong so you can better dissect it, please let me know.
Well, dismantling her supposed smoking gun is a good place to start. Though first a little context. Do forgive any inaccuracies, I've read up via the wiki and asked some fans, but haven't played ME.
The Krogan from Mass Effect is a reptilian race of aliens that are basically big biological tanks of a sentient species. Uplifted from the post-nuclear hellscape of their original planet to fight a race of sentient bugs known as the rachni. Put simply as long as one Ranchni queen made planetfall? Over. If you didn't intercept the queen within days of them setting up, there was nothing that could be done. They were too hardy and too numerous for anything less than scorched earth to 11. Only the sheer durability and numbers of the krogan were enough to push them back without extreme measures. One thing led to another, though, as saviors became conquerors, and the only way to fight that was the genophage. It's a shameful string of events the whole way down, but there is a distinct lack of better options.
In Mass Effect 3, Krogan are actively leveraging the reaper threat for a cure, and if you aren't picking all the right choices throughout the games, if they get the cure it's right back to certified galaxy wide threat again. There's more than enough evidence both for and against curing it. The cure is both the key to the shackles of their oppression as much as the key to galaxy wide krogan domination. For you see, a female Krogan free of the phage will be well capable of laying upwards of 1000 eggs that will hatch into rapidly maturing Krogan. Basic math, 2 krogan are fully mature adults and start mating for only one year and then stop. That's 1000 krogan. Ten years later, their kids do the same. 100000, rinse and repeat now there is a million. 30 year and 3 generations in with restrictions and the are already populating cities. Add on that they are as hard to kill as they are utterly expendable...
So you'd think Lily is all about the crying shame that the Krogan were jerked around by other, more advanced species for thousands of years as the reason that curing the krogan isn't a morally grey choice? Nope, think of the poor krogan mothers! They must be so broken up about stillbirthing so many children!
youtube
Now far be it from me to assume Lily’s knowledgeable about how evolution do, but here's a fun fact for the class. if your species makes over 1000 kids in a year, you've already written about 99.8% of them off as dead. Her smoking gun for this video is approaching a very nuanced, very broad, very non-human problem with a very human centric stillbirth is always the absolute worst thing and that alone seperates the grey into purely black and white... I don't know about that chief...
It's not the full vid, but I've just ripped the meat and potatoes off the plate and exposed it as a hunk of wood and a pile of spud scented foaming hand soap. If you want something else covered, just ask. I've got a post in the works about her fandom obsession, so look forward to that!
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white femmes are so quick to dictate the "correct" expression of feminity for femmes of color all while repeating phrases such as "femme is not an aesthetic" and "there is no right way to be femme." i have seen white femmes call femmes of color both "too gender conforming" and "not feminine enough" when talking about important aspects of feminity from their own culture. white femmes set the standard of femininity that all femmes are expected to conform. without meeting this expectation, you are not femme enough. when called out on their racism, white femmes will deflect onto other areas in which they face oppression such as classism, transphobia, fatphobia, ableism, etc. or, they will imply that only cis able-bodied thin femmes can uphold white supremacy. they will say femmes of color can contribute to their own oppression by being feminine in ways they do not approve of. it's "listen to femmes of color" until femmes of color are speaking. it seems as though there is no right way to be femme, so long as your femmeness fits within the perfect box of white femininity.
#racism#femme#a reflection on a conversation i had with a friend who was so kind to share some experiences with me#there's so much more i could add but that's for another post#🎀#butchfemme#lesbian
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Here's mine!
Rook: Juniper Aldwir, a dalish elf mage, I mostly went for the direct/aggressive dialogue options with a few of the more positive/nicer or joke-y options in companion convos. I went with the spellblade specialization and ended up loving it after a rough mage start. I also played arcane warrior/knight enchanter my first DAO and DAI runs though so. lmao. i have a type.
Faction: Veil jumpers! How could I not go with the scientific study of weird magic group... I've decided she's more on the geography and cartography side of the profession rather than mechanics/tinkering like Bellara, which is why she's not the one fixing the broken objects you encounter herself. I imagine she's the one drawing maps of all the places you go, making notes of interesting landmarks/items, etc. the crossroads drives her insane (bc it drives ME insane) because of the weird half reality half fade logic to the locations, travel, etc.
Companions/NPCs: My go to companion squad was Lucanis and Davrin or Taash for the best combos/fighting, and Emmrich because I enjoyed his comments/character a lot too. NPC wise, of course finally seeing FELASSAN!!! was great and he got so much more content and dialogue than I expected. was cheering every time i found another codex entry from him, and the Betrayal fight ruled. otherwise, like most everyone else i LOOOOVEEEE Teai & Viagos Divorced Energy... i'm obsessed. And then Antoine & Evka for actually wholesome, and Vorgoth bc idk wtf is up there but its sexy. but also THE CARETAKER what IS it... i have so many questions... that i will be filling in with weird headcanons probably. I also liked listening in on the two fledgling crows on the balcony who have a ton of unique banters, and a couple other npc banter points idk how to describe lmao. Some of the spirit ones in the crossroads I wish we got more of.
Romance: Lucanis my BELOVED obviously i am doing... an insane amount of lucanisposting lately... yeah I've got the full brainworms. even though the game itself was lacking in content my neurons are instead working overtime to try to fill in everything the game left out
Major decisions: I saved Treviso because Minrathous JUST had its turn being saved, shouldn't they like??? be mobilizing the ARMY they actually have over there by now??? they should have been better prepared idk what else to say. insane it got hit a 3rd time at the end anyway so i stand by my choice in picking Antiva. As for the companion endings, I felt most didn't really make a difference to me, with the exception of Emmrich. I kept manfred on this run becuase I was NOT ready to say goodbye to my gentle skeleton son 😭 next game i will romance Emmrich and make him a lich tho. As for the ending... I sent Harding to lead the second squad and Neve was the one who got mirror-kidnapped. Whcih did leave for an absolutely devastating post-Nightmare-In-Dreamland fade sequence where Rook suddenly had NONE of the companions she started the game with. Getting hit with losing Harding, losing Neve, and then the realization that Varric had been dead the whole time definitely makes for some angsty roleplay opportunity, though I do wanna replay it with Bellara in the final position just so I can watch her stand up to the gods, because i think that'd be pretty great. Ending-wise: I'm a Solavellan fool who's been pining for a real life decade now almost so I of course went for that lmao. I will play through all the other options just for the drama of it all, and probably come up with some adjusted exact sequence for how things go as a headcanon, but yeah.
again pls feel free to reblog & add yours, i've really liked reading about the couple who've answered so far :))))
ok i know ive been doing a lot of bitching about the game etc but putting that aside for a moment. Now that more people have finished Veilguard, I'm curious about people's first playthroughs!
What kind of Rook did you make (lineage, class, dialogue personality options, etc)?
What faction did you play as?
Fave companions and npc's?
Who did you romance?
The major choices--what'd you do? (which city, saved, notable companion routes you strongly prefer, what went down in act 3 and endgame...)
Any particular missions/lore you were excited about?
you don't have to be a mutual to reply to/reblog this! im just curious what we all veered to for the first run. i'm doing a second one now making different choices but it's interesting to compare people's first instincts.
#ramblings#jade plays dav#datv spoilers#da4 spoilers#veilguard spoilers#dragon age: veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#juniper aldwir#juniper rook#my Problems with dav were numerous and could never fit into this post so. ignoring those for now
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Wei Wuxian and Narrative Agency – Part Three
For Xiantober Day Five: Past and Present, in which the author gets very unhinged about what parts of the past are shown and how that’s affected by the present!
(Part One | Part Two | Full version on AO3)
The Power of Agency: Shaping the Narrative
When I've discussed Wei Wuxian's agency previously, I’ve talked about how what’s shown and omitted tells us about a character, and we’ve talked about the character himself. Though this is a niche topic, it’s not necessarily something out of the ordinary to analyse, and we can assume everything up to here has been in some way intentional.
This? Linking structure to a character’s in-universe preferences?
This is where we get unhinged.
Before I start, let’s quickly establish something which will be important later: although Wei Wuxian is the central character, MDZS isn’t strictly from his POV. While omitting events a character doesn’t like to dwell on and concealing things the character wishes to hide is common in books with only one narrator, MDZS has multiple narrators which it switches between relatively quickly. This includes Wei Wuxian, but it also includes nearly every major character that appears in the story, and omniscient narrator as well. As a default, this format doesn’t lead to this deliberate shaping and omission because of one character’s preferences, since we have many other sources of information and events – which is what makes Wei Wuxian’s influence over the narrative and structure so interesting. We could have access to a lot more information, and access to it at different times, than we do (and that’s not an insult, quite the opposite!).
To begin: we’ve established that times such as Wei Wuxian’s time on the streets, his three months in the Burial Mounds and his loss in the Siege aren’t shown because Wei Wuxian has little agency there. But that’s not the only special thing about them. They’re also the three most traumatic times in his life, and so moments Wei Wuxian himself either can’t remember, or doesn’t like to dwell on.
This is why discussing Wei Wuxian’s treatment of tragedy in his life was important. Firstly, it shows he doesn’t focus on the tragedy in his life, so the idea that the narrative not focusing on this tragedy relates to his character has merit; secondly, it affirms that this is not a passive trait, but a choice. Therefore, when the narrative omits events due to this aspect of Wei Wuxian, it’s respecting not only a character detail – which would be cool by itself – but also an active decision. One that shapes the story it’s made in.
In other words, its very structure is respecting Wei Wuxian’s agency!
Now, of course there are flashbacks to other moments of his past he probably wouldn’t like to dwell on, too. But within the structure, they’re only shown when Wei Wuxian is thinking about them (or when he has reason to)!
Wei WuXian hadn’t woken up yet. His eyes were still tightly shut, yet his hand didn’t let go either. He seemed to be dreaming, muttering, “… Don’t… Don’t be angry…” Lan WangJi seemed somewhat surprised. His voice was gentle, “I am not angry.” Wei WuXian, “… Oh.” Hearing this, as though he finally felt assured, his fingers loosened. Lan WangJi sat beside Wei WuXian for a while. Seeing that he was motionless again, he was about to stand up when Wei WuXian grabbed him with his other hand, hugging his arm and refusing to let go. He shouted, “I’ll go with you, quick, take me back to your sect!” Chapter 63, EXR translation
Which, of course, is him dwelling on…
Lan WangJi spoke one word at a time, “Go back to Gusu with me.” Hearing this, both Wei WuXian and Jiang Cheng were surprised. Quickly afterward, Wei WuXian laughed, “Go back to Gusu with you? To the Cloud Recesses? Why go there?” He immediately seemed to realize, “Oh. I forgot. Your uncle Lan QiRen hates crooked people like me. You’re his proudest disciple, so of course you’re the same as him, haha. I refuse.” Chapter 62, EXR translation
…the painful flashback immediately preceding this. The third set of flashbacks (which are also painful) are a similar case. Look at the contex:
He lifted the bottom of his robe, revealing a prosthetic leg made of wood, “This leg of mine was destroyed by you, that night in the Nightless City (…)” (…) “Wei WuXian, I won’t ask you if you remember or not. Both of my parents died by your hands. You owe too many people. You definitely won’t remember them either. But, I, Fang MengChen, will never forget! And never forgive you!” (…) “In the fight at Qiongqi Path, my son was strangled to death by your dog Wen Ning!” “My shixiong died by poison, his entire body festering due to your cruel curse!” Chapter 68 (immediately preceding the flashbacks), EXR translation
And Wei Wuxian’s own thoughts and words:
Wei WuXian looked at the cultivators before the Demon-Slaughtering Cave. Their expressions were the absolute same as those of the cultivators from the night of the pledge conference, pouring their wine on the ground as they took the pledge to scatter the ashes of the Wen Sect’s remnants and him. (…) Wei WuXian, “Now it’s time to ask just whom it is that treasures it so much. It’s like Wen Ning. Back then, some certain sects or so were scared to death of the Ghost General. They said they’d kill him on the surface, but behind their backs they hid him for over ten years. How strange. Who was the one that said his ashes had been scattered back then?” Chapter 79 (immediately succeeding the flashbacks), EXR translation
Once again, Wei Wuxian’s own thoughts relate to the flashbacks we’ve just been shown. And, as I previously mentioned, though all the events which are shown are tragic, they’re also events which Wei Wuxian’s own choices and actions shaped – which he has this to say about:
“The things I did, not only do you remember them, I remember them too. You won’t forget them, and they’ll stay even longer in my mind!” Chapter 82, EXR
Admittedly, this applies more to the third set of flashbacks than the second (which is still fitting as the third set was the most recent), as in the second, although he still had agency within and influence over his circumstances, the majority of the pain was caused by others’ actions (excluding, of course, the Golden Core transfer… which is something we know stays for a long time in his mind, albeit with a caveat we’ll soon discuss). But it’s still important to note – especially considering that otherwise, focusing on this very painful time in his life wouldn’t seem like something very in-character for Wei Wuxian to do.
Of course, this can all just be explained by good writing. It is best to insert flashbacks when they’re relevant to the characters and events in the present day! But it is interesting to compare these to the start of the (not painful) Gusu flashbacks, which open this way:
At a later time, Wei WuXian pondered upon the reason why his relationship with Lan WangJi wasn’t good. Getting to the root of the matter, everything started when he was fifteen, coming to the GusuLan Sect with Jiang Cheng to study for three months. Chapter 13, EXR
Again, considering the circumstances around which these flashbacks take place – returning to the Cloud Recesses for the first time since the lectures, and meeting Lan Wangji once more – it makes complete sense for Wei Wuxian to be thinking about these events*. So it does fit the pattern of Wei Wuxian dwelling on something, thus leading to the narrative dwelling on it, too (and being shaped by his thoughts)… but there’s another layer to this. Importantly, it is the only flashback where Wei Wuxian’s present thoughts don’t lead to this happening, with his thoughts at an unspecified future time leading to it, instead. I like to interpret this as the text saying that, since these events aren’t something Wei Wuxian wouldn’t focus on in normal circumstances, he can dwell on them at any time. Therefore, they’re free to come up in the narrative at any time as well, even if he’s not dwelling on them in the present moment!
So, to summarise: Wei Wuxian’s decision not to focus on the painful times in his life directly influences the narrative to not focus on these times. When painful times are brought up and shown to us, it’s in the context of him thinking about them in the present day, and even then, his most painful moments still aren’t shown to us. His agency in this regard is still respected by the narrative structure.
This is the main way his agency influences the structure of the narrative, but I’d like to talk about the revealing and concealing of information, too. For example, I said I’d talk about the Golden Core transfer – though Wei Wuxian does think about this many times, as evidenced by his internal narration in Chapter 103. But unlike everything we’re shown through the flashbacks, this is something Wei Wuxian is actively trying to hide from others. And the narrative respects this choice (Wei Wuxian’s agency, again), never reveals it even when it would be relevant in the flashbacks, and we find out not through narration, but through a character’s dialogue!
And to clarify – I know these aspects may not be in the book for this exact reason. Showing flashbacks in relevant moments is good writing, concealing an important plot point you want to do a reveal for is necessary writing, and MXTX has said she didn’t want to write about Wei Wuxian’s time in the Burial Mounds, due to not liking to write transformation sequences (and also because it would not be pleasant at all, which likely also applies to Wei Wuxian’s death). That doesn’t prevent it from also being intentional – MXTX’s intelligence is shown in many aspects of this book, and there’s nothing disproving it – but there’s no proof for either option, so I won’t pretend there is. I bring this up because I know this feels like I’m overanalysing, as I feel that way as well.
But, whether it’s intentional or not, it exists in the text, and I adore it – so, regardless, it’s something I’ll explore. Because taking this into account… We aren't just told about Wei Wuxian having agency, we aren’t just shown it in the text, we aren’t even just shown it through which parts of his past are shown and hidden in the structure of the text (as I talked about in Part One). The parts of the past that are shown and hidden also have an in-universe reason for being shown and hidden, this reason being the choices he makes! Agency is the ability of a character to influence the story they’re in, but Wei Wuxian’s agency, as a property of a character who only exists in-universe, shapes the out-of-universe structure as well! That’s how we’re shown its importance! How cool is that?
At The End Of The Road: Summary and Final Thoughts
In this essay, we’ve covered how important Wei Wuxian’s agency is not only to the events of the plot, but to the structure of the narrative as well. The narrative omits periods in which Wei Wuxian has little or no agency, in favour of showing us periods in which he does, even when important events happened in the former. This indicates that who Wei Wuxian is without agency isn’t important enough to be shown to the audience, and therefore that his agency is an integral aspect of his character in MDZS. We’ve discussed how both in-universe and out-of-universe, tragedy does not define him – out-of-universe, the tragic events in Wei Wuxian’s life are used not to build sympathy but rather to show his strength of character and who he still is despite going through them; and in-universe, he chooses not to focus on the negativity and resentment caused by his circumstances or others’ actions, instead staying true to his moral compass and enjoying his life in the present day. Finally, we’ve also explored how this choice is another reason for the omission of certain events from the narrative, resulting in his agency shaping the story in a very literal way – it affects the out-of-universe structure, as well.
It’s quite fitting, for a story whose essence is about defying a conventional narrative – that of righteous clans rising up and defeating a great evil – and about a character who defies many conventional narratives on his own – that of status defining how skilled you could be, that for a golden core being necessary for cultivation and other paths being unavailable, that of a tragic but complete story of someone killed for staying true to their moral code (instead, that character returns to life and has a happy ending) – to have its own narrative play a role in such an important and interesting way.
(Or, if an image would be preferable:)
Thank you for reading!
(Part One | Part Two | Full version on AO3)
--
*This strong relation to the present day circumstances is another reason I love the flashback placement so much (and why I think it’s such a loss both screen adaptions altered it so strongly)!
#get ready for tag thoughts because there are a LOT of them#it’s for THIS reason that fanon wwx bothers me so much (didn’t want to get negative on the acual post)#bc so often all the changes are changes that woobify him!#self-sacrificial idiot wwx?? only doing things because… poor him he has so many internal issues and values himself so little-#-so of course he’d sacrifice everything before thinking of another option? woobifying#(whenever he sacrifices something it’s a deliberate choice to act on his morals because he values his morals so much – and he’s also very-#-capable and DOES often find ways for no people to get hurt!)#wasn’t aware that what happened to him at lotus pier was wrong and needs lwj to tell him that for him to have any idea if it?#woobifying (as we see in the lotus seed pod extra he KNOWS it’s unfair)#(he downplays it retroactively in his memory (links into not focusing on the bad things in his life))#(but that’s the actions themselves that are being downplayed not their fairness!)#he chooses to act! he is defined by acting! not tragedy – all the more impressive in the face of the amount of tragedy that’s happened#he could SO EASILY have been a woobie but instead he’s the opposite of one: defined BY his agency instead of the absence of it#that doesn’t mean he’s not impacted by tragedy or trauma – he is! but it’s not the most important aspect of his character (bc he doesn’t le#it’s also something that bothers me about the changes cql made#by making qq path and nightless city the fault of someone else it means he IS someone who’s more a victim of circumstance than anything els#he had no control over the tragedies of his first life at all#apart from ig his death being controlled by him? because he just leaps off the cliff during the nightless city siege?? but in THAT case it’#i watched that part recently (i’m getting through it very slowly) and yeah it reaffirmed my love for this aspect of the book even more#despite. having these exact thoughts for two years already#he also dwells on the past events a lot more than book wwx which adds to that version of him BEING defined more by tragedy rather than who#anyway over 7.3k words total (and 400 more in the tags apparently)... it'll be posted to ao3 in its completion this evening!#mdzs meta#my meta#wei wuxian#mdzs#mo dao zu shi#魔道祖师#grandmaster of demonic cultivation#gdc
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AND WE JUST DONT TALK ABOUT THIS?!?!?!!????
#THIS IS LITERALLY LITERAAALLLYYY THE BIGGEST FORM OF CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT SUGISHITA COULD HAVE#NOT ONLY IS HE DOING WHATS BEST FOR UMEMIYA BUT HES PUTTING HIS TRUST IN SAKURA TO HELP HIM#AND OH IM SO UNWELL#HIS BODY IS PHYSICALLY REACTING TO HIM MAKING THIS DECISION IM JUST#IM SO PROUD#and then sakura acknowledging all of this too i just love them sm#they really have one of the best dynamics 😭😭😭#wind breaker#kyotaro sugishita#sakura haruka#wind breaker spoilers#wind breaker manga spoilers#ok nvm im still talking bc the second image literally gets me everytime i look at it#first off the way they drew sakura in that scene in the first place is just so beautiful thats the only word i can think for it rn 😭😭😭😭#second seeing this scene from sugishitas perspective and then learning later that the reason he has this reaction was because he thought-#-sakura looked cool and hes never thought that about anyone before just really gives us so much more for their relationship#specially how sugishita acts towards him 😭😭#add that onto what umemiya says to him (which i couldnt include in this post </3) about how hes never really shown emotion to anyone-#-till sakura showed up then it gives us an even BETTER understanding of why sugishita acts the way he does around sakura#my brain is so frazzled by the sun today and words are not coming to me easily so apologies if none of this makes any sense 😭😭😭#ill revisit it another time anyway#also the way they describe all of this really makes it sound like he has a lil crush and its so sweet 😭😭😭😭😭😭
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Saw some folks point out that Lilly was most likely like the youngest in the Alliance, since her dad fought alongside Libby, Ray, and Maya in the War.
Consider, Even if this is more of me throwing a little bit of AU out there: Her father dies when she's twelve, and wanting to keep all the elemental masters together, Wu and Garmadon bring her into the Elemental Alliance, knowing that she already had the powers of Earth.
The other elemental masters freak out because,,, *points* that is a CHILD.
But they also understand that if she was left to her own devices (her mother passed when she was really little) then she could put herself or others in grave danger with her powers.
They absolutely deck little Lilly out in impressive weapons and battle armor.
Now here we go into heavy headcanons/au territory.
With Libby being the second youngest EM in the group, her and Lilly form a close bond.
Like her parents, Ed and Edna, Libby is great at creating things. She LOVES building- mechs, especially. With Libbys help, Lilly's first mech (the one donated to TOS I've decided) was created.
Yes they may have gone all out on safety features on the mech, but would you completely trust a twelve year old with a very large elemental mech?
One day she brings over a boy. Wu and Garmadon are WORRIED because the boy is NOT an elemental master, he doesn't even know anything about fighting. She is sixteen and could punch the head clean off someone's shoulders with her powers...
These two are worried the most because they personally made it their mission to make sure the EMs were ot being hunted or used for their powers. So, bringing in a non EM into the fold was deemed risky.
They of course warm up to Lou, who thinks Lilly is the coolest person in the world and he learns basic self defense from her.
The EM Alliance falls apart when she is only 20 . *I say that bc everyone looks like they may be in their 50's, mid-late 50's after the Merge With Lilly being a decade younger well .. she would've been a decade younger at least :/*
She gets sick after she defeats Grief-Bringer. It wasn't bad at first, she honestly just thought she may have caught a cold. Also yes, in my headcanons and AUs Cole has been born when she goes to Shintaro. I have another post going into an au-headcanon mashup (I say headcanons because it isn't necessarily disproved by canon) that I kinda want to write about some day.
Knowing she was going to get worse, she started working on making sure Cole was prepared to become the next Master of Earth. When she was feeling well enough she would leave the house (unfortunately she also didn't tell Lou where she was going most of the time fidjxjsjshd)
Refused to pass on afterwards and instead keeps an eye on her family. Is the reason SOMEONE survives stuff that he shouldn't have.
Fun Facts about Lilly!!! That are canon in my stories!!!
- She is a realm hopper. Yes this is based on the fact that she apparently spied on Garmadon while he was in the Underworld in that one comic. I haven't read it but you know. I want to do something with that knowledge.
- she isn't in the Departed Realm especially after the Merge. She's trying to keep an eye on Cole while trying to find her husband and her friends. She found Wu first, of course. And with Wu, she found Garmadon. Before the Merge she would switch between watching over Lou and Cole.
- She is the only Previous EM of Ninjago to participate in the TOS, which may or may not be canon. I say this bc of that outfit and you know... The mech....
-Cole is 9, she is 29 when she dies. Also it's freaking sad because ain't no way Ray and Maya knew this until almost a decade later. Wu keeps a close eye on him and Lou afterwards. You know since he was canonically there for his birth hello??? *According to the comic*
- fun fact about me it literally took me 6 hours to write all this in one setting bc I was at work. Lilly did this to me.
Also, if there are any timeline problems that aren't just me pushing it for the AU tell me about it so I can fix it please I don't want it to be too off the course!!!
I think that's it for now,,,
#“shes the youngest out of all of us weve gotta protect her!” dies young anyway despite everything shes went through#i will be adding more to this and maybe even explain my story that takes place during the previous EMs timeline#anyway she makes me sad#continue haunting the narrative please maam#you're literally saving your son by doing so#ninjago#dragons rising#Ninjago Lilly#i deleted a lot that made this sadder btw but may still add it in another post#anyway i wonder how she felt going on all those solo missions like that.#*eyes the comic and Grief Bringer*#Ninjago spoilers#oh yeah i DO bring up s2p2 so uh tagging spoilers#Ninjago Cole#Cole Brookstone#Lou Brookstone#i wish i could art because now i want a little Lilly decked out in armor that is way too much for her#while the other EMs look at her holding bubble wrap#listen the second youngest is 19#the oldest not counting Wu and Garmadon is almost 100#yes it is the Previous EM of Ice.#Yes EMs DO have extended life spans. its just rare that they live past like their 20's in the first place#I THINK I TAGGED ALL OF THIS
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Thank you for sharing your thoughts! <3
To be honest, I don't know. The stories I'm reading and those I have read have a quite consistent audience that writes many (and even quite a lot of detailed) comments while these stories are being updated. But I usually read in other fandoms, so I can't tell if the demographic of these fandoms is generally more supportive of their writers or if these writers just know how to engage their audience. However, when I look at the stats of a couple of stories in the YOI fandom that started around the same time as CYHMH (summer 2022), I'm not so sure that it's just fandom demographics. Back then, there was one new story that had 10 chapters out with like 200 comments and I even saw one that had only 2 chapters out but already 300 comments. So, even back then and a long time before the movie cancellation, it was pretty much still possible to excite readers (For the record: I didn't look around for too long to protect my mental health, so the data I have to base my impression on is very incomplete.) Now that I know that many fans are very vocal about wanting more canon content, including some in-between-the-episodes stuff which CYHMH has in abundance, I'm genuinely puzzled. Having heard about the success of other novelisations and sequels, I doubt that's just about original content.
Interestingly, the movie cancellation didn't impact my stats at all. At that time I had a long-wished for uptick in engagement (supposedly due to the fact that I had resumed posting the improved & beta'ed version, but I'm not sure of that) and that uptick held on until about two months after the cancellation. It made me hopeful that I had finally found a steady audience. Interestingly, shortly after the eros-off ice chapter [about 2 months after the cancellation], comments and hits/chapter dropped massively and basically back to the low level they had been at in 2022.
The story has 477 comments (I'm counting the threads, not the total number), which is about 10 comments/chapter on average. From the outside that looks really good. However, a lot of that is from either readers who discovered the story later and made an effort to comment each chapter plus the success it had during the first half of this year. And don't get me wrong, I'm so happy every time a reader takes their time to comment on chapters that had been posted long ago because many readers seem to think that writers don't care getting feedback for these although most of us crave that. In many cases that finally got me the kind of feedback that I would have desperately needed to keep going in 2022, and if I had gotten that back then, the long break wouldn't have happened. Because no matter how much I appreciate these later readers (they're 3 in total, including you and I love every one of you <3), I also need some support and engagement when I post these chapters to keep staying motivated and not being on the verge of quitting writing again because just sharing them had made me feel so miserable.
Right now, there's still some engagement left. But knowing my experience with writing a series for my last fandom (before AO3), engagement drops with every instalment. So if, at this point, there is already so little excitement for my take on the ending of the show and my take on a continuation, I just know from past experiences that it will go down even further for the sequel. And for me, that really begs the question of whether I want to expose myself to another bout of losing my joy for writing and contemplating quitting it because I've already been there often enough.
At this point, I'm just at a loss about what to do. I feel like I did already everything that I could and it's still nowhere near enough: I did tons of research for this story, especially regarding Japanese culture and figure skating. I conducted a meticulous canon analysis to ensure that the characters are in-character and that everything that I add is a logical extension of canon to make sure that this story "feels" like YOI. I worked with a beta-reader because English is not my first language and in those chapters I've posted in 2022 it really showed. I respond to every comment and thank the commenter. And I post previews with little success, at least here on tumblr (not sure what the people on twitter do with them). There's hardly anything I could still try and it's not working.
Okay, I need to get this out of my system.
I have planned to post the sequel to my YOI novelisation in exactly a month from now. My beta said that the sequel feels like an actual continuation of YOI and a friend is even drawing a cover picture, which is just so amazing. But the more I think about it, the more it seems like I'm bound to regret releasing this story a couple of weeks later.
I won't lie. CYHMH had the total opposite of a dream start. I even paused the story for an entire year to get a beta reader because I failed to keep my audience interested and concluded that it was obviously bad. Or maybe it only did so poorly because it can't compete with other novelisations. I don't know and I don't want to know because if I learned the truth, I would probably shoot myself.
The story has 600+ kudos, but that's not reflected in the hits/chapter at all despite all the improvements I've made. The number of hits/chapter which had skyrocketed for a brief time span earlier this year (aka after I resumed posting the improved version) has decreased by 75% since June and hasn't recovered since. Often, I lose bookmarks and subscriptions within hours after posting a new chapter, which couldn't be a more obvious feedback.
I see this loss in interest also reflected in my chapter announcements and previews (not they had ever been great to begin with). Often, I'm the only person reblogging them because rarely anyone else does. On the other hand, my post that I would postpone the latest chapter due to the US elections was so popular and the contrast to the reactions when I finally posted that chapter was so huge that I wonder if people just want me to shut up and stop posting. To be honest, not posting would save me a lot of time and spoons because, let's be frank: writing for a mostly silent audience is just not it. (I have a little bit more engagement on other socials, but the downwards trend is the same there.)
There are only three chapters of CYHMH left to post. The story is at its climax and seeing the lack of interest and enthusiasm so close to the end is just so fucking disheartening after putting so much work into this story which I call my love letter to YOI. Maybe I don't write the kind of stories that inspire the majority of its readers to gush about it, but a part of me had been hoping for at least some people to be thrilled that the chapter was finally out. Or to be at least excited about the sequel. And I can't decide whether my writing just sucks that much to most people, if you're just silent because you only talk about my stories in some exclusionist fic club, or whether a sequel is just not wanted or needed due to the fandom being already saturated with that kind of story.
Would you guys prefer that I stop posting? If you really want to read my YOI sequel or just anything for that matter, I beg you to tell me and to support me.
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for modern AU fics - what chinese media did diaspora consume?
making this post because some of us in the diaspora server were having a chat about what Chinese media "Diaspora Chinese" watched in the 90's - 2000's (and even sooner than that) while not having access to satellite chinese media or streaming services - this is in the context of writing modern AU fics based off Chinese media/novels (so your main character's grandpa or uncle is not, in fact, watching an episode of Friends or Shortland Street or something as flavour text because sorry what the hell-)
We generally watched a lot of stuff on VCDs, including bootlegged and non-bootlegged movies, shows, anime/donghua. My household had a whole VCD album of this, and a lot of VCDs (even if they were pirated editions) would have a fancy hardcover box with a magnetic clasp and some artwork representing the show on it.
All of this is Mandarin - so not TVB stuff, because I'm from Northern China and I don't know any cantonese - but Canto friends, please feel free to add to the list! This is mostly stuff my parents liked to watch, or I liked to watch with them, with the exception of a few which I mainly watched with friends/cousins when I was maybe (in most cases) eleven/twelve years old onwards. This is a pretty personal list, meant to give people general idea of a possible "ballpark" of sorts, and by no means exhaustive.
Now, for the list of shows which I can confirm I had or someone I know had on VCD or some kind of offline media format lol (I'll try add release year stamps and links to the EN wikipedia where possible):
Period dramas (mostly Qing Dynasty stuff):
Huan Zhu Gege 还珠格格 (1998, April-) This is a classic, so many memes come from this show; hugely popular series, basically cemented Zhang Tie Lin's face as the face of the Qing Emperor for about a decade. Tie Chi Tong Ya Ji Xiao Lan 铁齿铜牙纪晓岚 (2002-2010) - I loved this show as a kid and watched all four seasons on repeat with family... The "trio" in this show are well known and loved.
Amazing Detective Di Ren Jie / 神探狄仁杰 (2004) A very popular and addictive show. Ok now the Big Four:
Romance of 3 kingdoms 1994 / 三国演义 (1994) - a classic that has had many remakes, my older cousin would play this on repeat...
Hong Lou Meng/红楼梦 (1987) - another classic with many remakes, but I think the most recognised by the public one is the 1987 one.
Journey to the West / 西游记 live action (1986) - I think the 1986 version of the live action is the most recognised one. *Shui Hu Zhuan / 水浒传 (1998) - I am not too familliar with the live action of this one in my household tbh bc my mum doesn't like it lol (she keeps saying it's too depressing) but I'm sure it's up there with the rest of the big four, if anyone has an opinion on this one please let me know!
Modern setting shows:
My dad loved all the Sun Honglei (孙红雷 - actor name) stuff, iirc it was a lot of MinGuo period espionage stuff, your shanghai 1920's sxc aesthetic. This actor has been around since 1999? Qian Fu (潜伏)was very famous, and Ren Jian Zheng Dao Shi Cang Sang (人间正道是沧桑)。 These were around '08 and '09.
Chuang Guan Dong - 闯关东 (2008) (Baidu link, sorry - couldn't get an EN wikipedia one). This show was huge when it was airing, everyone was watching it. I was pretty young but even I watched it and got invested ... and I thought it was such an "old person" show at the time lmao. Xiao Bing Zhang Ga / 小兵张嘎 (2004) (sorry, again Baidu link) - yo, anti-japanese war movies set between 1937-1945 were crazy popular - this is one of them and was very popular):
Donghua/Anime (all the stuff kid me watched and some which I didn't but were popular):
喜羊羊与灰太狼 (2005-) Calabash Brothers / 葫芦兄弟 (1986-1987) Black Cat Detective / Hei Mao Jing Zhang 黑猫警长 (1984-2010) Lan Mao Tao Qi 3000 Wen 蓝蓝猫淘气3000问 AKA 蓝猫 (blue cat) (October 1999 - Present) Legend of Ne Zha 哪吒传奇 (2003) Journey to the West/Xi You Ji 西游记 This was truly the Donghua I grew up on from when I was a bb, the OP song and ED song are classic bangers all kids know. Slam Dunk/ 灌篮高手 - People truly watched a lot of anime that may or may not have been terribly dubbed into mando (possibly canto too). Late 80s and 90s kids were all over this, and Dragon Ball, Crayon Shinchan (labixiaoxin).
Taiwanese Dramas:
This is mid-late 2000's, I would be remiss to not talk about the Taiwanese dramas of this era. Mike He, Rainie Yang, Wu Zun (amongst many, many others) were huge. Stuff like Dou Niu Yao Bu Yao, it started with a kiss, Hua Yang Shao Nv (Taiwanese version of Hana Kimi) were all pretty popular. Not sure if these shows all hold up in 2023, but boy were they popular at the time.
Note about CNY:
For CNY, people would try to tune into 春节联欢晚会 (the CCTV official CNY show) at that One Friend Who Had China Satellite TV's house. Zhao Ben Shan / 赵本山 was a comedy staple, and the show would often feature people from the music industry to perform. Eventually these people became more and more relevant to my gen and Jay Chou etc started appearing.
Last but not least Xian Jiaaaan 仙剑:
In 2005 I was all over 仙剑奇侠传 (Chinese Paladin), based off the video game. This show was crazy popular and probably sent me and a whole lot of other kids into Xianxia / Wuxia hell (and Hu Ge hell, and later I came back to love Liu Yifei). Thank you. The OST is a true banger.
#cnovel#mdzs#cdrama#chinese diaspora#danmei#not a lot of jinyong wuxia shows here so people who have opinions please chime in!#whew that was more than i thought#music could do with another post#but i dont know too much about my dads music i was just a 2000s cpop nerd#also this doesnt cover movies either#please no lan qiren watching friends#this breaks me out of my immersion immediately unless there was a specific reason why shufu is watching friends#not even sure how to tag this#late 2000s you could pretty much stream and download stuff i think i did that for bbjx when it came out#even tho my parents hated The Internet i managed#feel free to add more to this in a post or tags or whatever
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AAAAAA, OKAY-- @persephone-s-moon I could not find their updated refs for the life of me, so, woe, busted old concept art be upon ye. (Excuse the wonky proportions, these were done on my phone.)
Shortest rundown I can manage:
Did someone order a tragic throuple with time-travel/reincarnation shenanigans and a side of hurt/comfort/fluff?
Candavata Bhatia: Elven queen, from the kingdom of Sona, and the baddest bitch to ever live. In order to prove herself worthy of holding the crown over her sisters, she needed to channel one of the gods. So, not only did she channel one, she called upon Bijalee, the embodiment of lightning and storms--and the most difficult one to channel due to her wild and hazardous nature. She has been the only person to do so, aside from the First Queen. This earned her the titles of Storm Bringer and Lightning Tamer. She and Qamar are married and have been best friends since childhood. Can you tell I love her?
(Side note: Editing this on my laptop and holy ashy tone, Batman. Hoping it's just my screen because my girl does NOT look like this, I promise--)
Qamar Abn awaa: Werejackal prince, devout cleric of Layl, goddess of the night and medicine, and the definition of the "I'm a healer, but--" meme. He managed to show both great power and promise from an early age when, during a political visit to the Sona royal court, he used his knowledge of anatomy to turn one of Candavata's would-be assassins inside out. This is where he and Candi's marriage was arranged. He is of a generally very sunny disposition, which often makes people underestimate him, as they assume he's useless in serious situations--but, when shit hits the fan, he's the one you want to be next to. (I started designing him when I did not understand how to map out locs or braids. Qamar, my prince, I am so sorry, I swear I will do right by you and fix whatever monstrosity I gave you.)
Vincenzo Virago: Vampire duke. The intersection of an emotionally constipated killing machine and massive nerd failure. He's head over heels for both Candi and Qamar, but he doesn't feel like he can tell them, due to the fact that he views himself as unlovable, both wanting and growing jealous of them. (He is completely oblivious to the fact that they are also in love with him.) He's terrified of turning into his father, but it seems like everything he does only turns him further down that path. He's a warlord. He's a wet cat. He needs therapy.
It's a stable, constant dynamic. You never see one without the other. Where Qamar goes, Candi is right beside him, and Vince is right behind them. Whenever something goes wrong, usually they're at the center of it, all having different roles in the trouble. Candi, the planner, Qamar, the keen lookout, and Vince, the instigator. He keeps the two of them grounded, on their toes, and they do what they can to keep him away from his father. Even after they graduate and take their places in their respective castes, they stay in touch.
The story itself begins at the worst part of their relationship.
At this point, Candavata and Qamar have been married and are tending to their responsibilities as king and queen of their joined empire. Though they try to stay in touch with Vincenzo, it's difficult--and Vince doesn't make it easy, either. Over the years, he becomes withdrawn. He stops answering their letters, he refuses to see them when they come in person, every time. After a while, they stop trying. Not because they don't love him, they do, but there's only so much you can do when a person doesn't want (or doesn't think they deserve) help.
Vincenzo, after years of sitting with the jealousy and battling his father's horrendous treatment, broke. He didn't just spiral, he nose-dived, doubling down on every bit of gossip and rumor, until he's changed and warped into something even he can't recognize. He shuts out Candi and Qamar. Maybe he doesn't want to taint them, maybe he thinks this is how it was meant to go, maybe he can't stand their gentle hands or the pitying look in their eyes. Maybe he just wants the excuse. Whatever it is, Vincenzo becomes a monster, with blood on his hands.
In the end, Candi and Qamar had to be the ones to put him down.
Which is where we get into the time/reincarnation fuckery.
Because, when the pain fades and Vincenzo opens his eyes, expecting to see whatever eternal damnation looks like, he sees his university bedroom. Littered with textbooks and letters from Candi and Qamar, and his graduation robes hanging on the back of the door.
He's got a second chance to go back and unfuck everything, but only time will tell if he'll succeed or end up exactly where he was before.
Something, something, breaking cycles and being open with your loved ones, allowing yourself to be loved by others and yourself, and sometimes men are at their best covered in blood and a little bit pathetic.
(Oh, and, you want a really fun fact? Vince isn't the only one who remembers the original timeline.)
#literally so nervous to share this--usually my concept art never sees the light of day beyond a discord server#but I promised polycule lore and polycule lore you shall have#*holds gently*#they're my favorite couple I've made next to Anna and Gabriel#whose story I could literally fill the library of Congress with#there's so much more I want to add but this post is already getting long#oh and in case you were wondering#Candi is the one with the brain cell most of the time#Qamar has it second and Vince... well he tries#also Qamar is transmasc and basically did most of his HRT on his own#like he created his own regiment with his own magic from scratch#same with his bottom surgery--in fact he actually published a thesis on his own technique to be shared with other doctors#which is a whole process I can get into on another post#he's like Dr. Jekyll in that he practices his experiments on himself and doesn't involve other people because he understands consequences#and wouldn't potentially do irreversible harm to other people for “the betterment of the science”#and would also punch Victor Frankenstein in the jaw#which I could also get into on another post#(he literally dropped out of college! he doesn't have a doctorate! he abandoned his creation due to his own fuck up regarding it!)#anyway#vampire#Werejackal
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“She had no magic to wield, save for the keen eyes of the goddess at her shoulder and an uncanny ability to remain unnoticed, to play into expectations.”
#Chapter 23#Kingdom of Ash#Sarah J. Maas#Lorcan Salvaterre#Elide Lochan#Elorcan#no spoilers please first read to read along with me#more notes quotes annotations & reacts in the tags spoilers for the chapter & book in post & tags of course pt 2 of 4 perspectives#Lorcan had never felt the weight of the hours so heavily upon him-I FEEL IT 2poor Rowan must feel this 247HURRY where’s Elide?hold on Aelin!#And to send Elide into Maeve's clutches--it had taken all of his will to let her walk away.😭#If Elide was captured if she was found out he wouldn't hear of it know of it. — you’d know cause she’s your mate idiot (I love you idiot#without proving their worth they could still visit--briefly. — ugh Maeve why does everything about you suck so much#If she emerged. — COME ON ELIDE — I CANT HANDLE ANOTHER CAIRN-NAPPING#the Prince of the North and the Lion the protector and the ever impatient in love idiot we all love Lorcan#He knew some of them. Had commanded them. Were they now his enemy? — they are all having some inner morality battles#What manner of birds? Raptors mostly — none from the House of Whitethorn — they fought for him on the other borders… for her🥹😭them#why so many guards if no Aelin hmm???? SHES HERE GUYS#though Gavriel kept glancing to the tattoos inked on his hands. How many more lives would he need to add before they were through?#Aelin had been trained to endure torture. Elide... He could see those scars on her from the shackles. — how about we save them both?😭🖤#She had endured too much suffering and terror already. He couldn't allow her to face another heartbeat of it--#Rowan and his random hatchet now😅😂 it’s giving my wife is gone unhinged in the woods with the bros might become a horror movie vibes#But then a two-note whistle echoed and Lorcan's legs wobbled so violently he sat back onto the rock where he'd been perched-OH MY ELORCAN😭🖤#also Lorcan… perched??? isn’t that bird boy Rowan’s thing?😅😂🤣#her cheeks rosy in the cool night air. — cheeks pink in the twinkling lights tell me bout the first time you saw me (shipping in insanity)#She was fine. She was unhurt. There was no enemy on her tail. Elide's eyes met his. Wary and uncertain. I met someone.#THANK GOD — but also wait WHAT-when?WHO?HOW?#also this quote posted is like one of the reasons I love Elide#another grand Maasverse enterance is on its way?#the fact the opening line shows that being sold out to Maeve is the same as death — OH GET TO AELIN ALREADY PLEASE#no more tattoos guys — what’s with Maeve’s wolves — isn’t dark haired beauty what Elide called the girl in the caravan so maybe it’s her
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My brain is so full of Bees about Post-Shift 2.
It's a fan game that was delayed for 4 years -- by the time it released, fnaf fangames as a whole were not as popular as they had been, & most people in the scene had forgotten about Post-Shift 1, so not a lot of people heard about it/played it.
Worse still is the people who did talk about the game. Pretty unanimously, the consensus was this: this game is the craziest, most insane fnaf fangame. It's overly difficult with mechanics that have no rhyme or reason to them & tutorials that are wordy, unhelpful, & sometimes actively mislead the player, meaning you need to comb through a lot of text only to be misinformed. It's not as infamous as some other fangames, but it definitely was talked about very poorly.
In general, I think most of these criticisms were blown up out of proportion, but I can't really disagree with most people's problems -- it is difficult & wordy, & rather hard to understand. I think, however, that the game is still 1. Really fun, 2. Not a bad game at all, &, most importantly, 3. Is a free fucking game that was clearly a passion project. Most damn fangames never get off the fucking ground when made in groups because the creators will never make a red cent off the thing -- this game was made by one dude for 4 years & delivered to people for free. It didn't ask anything of you except to accept it as a difficult game & to not go in with wild expectations. The dev just wanted to make a game that was rough, but he also wanted to make a game that felt unique & was fun. & It is fun, too, is the damn thing.
#em.txt#ps2 post#post-shift 2#i obviously am biased#i also obviously have more to say#but for now i think this is a start. i think this is fine so far.#i got counter arguments i was gonna type about the problems#bc tbh i think the difficulty isn't as big a problem as the difficult curve -- it starts very high for a fangame#bc it assumed you know what they're like. you know how fangames work. but it over assumes that all the mechanics#work at the same frequency as other fangame#the difficulty curve of night 1 is pretty tough place to start which turned a lot of people off#especially with how long & unclear th tutorials are & of course night 1's tutorial starting with a character that is unused in that night#it's rough. night 2 is even tougher. but night 3 is a cakewalk once you beat 2 bc it only adds 2 threats#so you might expect the next night to be as easy or even easier & in my eyes yeah -- night 4 is easier than 1 even#except that it's completely different & is asking the player to learn a new game entirely which is its own difficulty#but i can crank out a night 4 easy peasy no prolem. so you might expect night 5 to be even easier right? WRONG#WRONG WRONG WRRRONNNGG even people who know what they are doing struggle#because a mechanic in the game actively increases the difficulty as the difficulty is increased which is EVIL#& night 6 is even harder i have seen 3 people beat night 6 it is absurd#i sat in a call with another PS2 fan who clearly played thr game s lot & loved it but they could not beat the night normally#& this night has fucking optional difficulty modifiers when you finish that make it harder it is hell on earth#there is no checkpoints it is bad it is so bad I haven't beaten it i talk abt this game every day i play all the nights#i do not fucking play this night bc the way the tutorial works is unreal & unhelpful it wants you to remember#all this shit but it removes the 'walk around & click things before the night starts to see how they work/where they are'#& then it changes every 2 hours to something new so you won 12-2 but you hit 2 & forgot this one person's mechanic#but the only way to read the tutorial again is to close the game bc it automatically puts you back into the night#& will not take you to the home screen to view the booklet for night 6 it's insane#so yeah. there is difficulty. but the difficulty curve being this inconsistent is worse tbh#i get night 6 is meant to be like a 'everyone is here!' bossfight but it's overwhelming & there is too damn much
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