#there's so many and idk what the best ones to use are or if some are just inactive or tied to actual blogs I really have no idea pffttt
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Thats a good point, I see all kinds of neurodivergence in my family but only a couple of us in my generation, afaik, have a diagnosis.
However, my gp attended a recent talk about overlap of queer folk with neurodivergence and also a group of comorbid illnesses including, iirc, POTS/MCAS/EDS/CFS theres a couple others Im just blanking. Digestive issues? Things that we've broadly noticed as a community, and it seems like its starting to be studied.
And also, everyone has some kind of trauma, idk how many people if any have no kind of disability whatsoever, humanity is vast and diverse. And we're wired to look for patterns. Interpret this information how you will, I certainly cant say for sure if these patterns are broader than trans people, or are more people trans than we expect, are we seeing correlation or causation or is there a mechanism in common with all these labels thats the deeper cause, is queerness an interchangeable/'sometimes' factor or a central one, we are way too early to know that yet.
I think its probably not nothing. But we're also not uniquely fucked up. Maybe we're just sticking out, so to speak, so thats where the research is starting. Many people werent taking ME/CFS seriously until long covid prompted more research bc, iirc, there was now a lot more people affected who were harder to ignore. And who were seeking help. Like a lot of people have an allergy or a dodgy wrist or "that weird thing with my digestion" and they dont consider it a disability or seek treatment, yknow? And especially mental health and especially what runs in families, it looks normal to you so why would you ever bring it up to a dr? "Everyone struggles with these things. Everyone feels this way" well you do and your parents and aunts and uncles do and your siblings do, and maybe you told a dr forty years ago you were in pain and they brushed you off so you thought everyone was walking around in agony.
And that gets into an adjacent conversation about medicalising and diagnosing and when does that help and when is it like, making a negative thing of normal human experiences and variations, its not a disorder till its negatively impacting your life, if youre surviving but treatment could help you thrive is it worth the side effects etc etc plus the whole discussion of psychiatry in particular which can be an amount of guesswork and diagnostic labels are often just patterns of symptoms that we see oftrn go together and we dont always yet understand the underlying neurology. (One of my all time best therapists kept up with the latest neuroscience and always had very good and effective suggestions. I only stopped seeing her bc I moved away. If you can be seeing professionals who are keeping up with research, definitely prefer them over someone who hasnt learned anything since they completed training 50 years ago. Always.)
Tl;dr I agree with OP and also this stuff is extremely complex and we're always learning new things about us!
something that should be taken with a grain of salt are the statistics talking about the high rates of mental illness + neurodivergence among trans people (ocd, bpd, adhd, autism, etc)
I see both sides of the political spectrum taking these studies at face value - conservatives say we're broken, and trans people try to come up with reasons why for example autism + gender dysphoria makes sense and why one of them feeds into another
at the end of the day you have to remember that we're the one category of people on this planet who are legally required to go see a psychiatrist in order to receive non-psychiatric medication and surgeries.
more trans people are in therapy by law than any other demographic of people, and as a result, this captures more comorbidities.
if I had to look at my own family & rates of mental illness?
mom, dad, 2 maternal aunts, maternal grandmother, paternal grandmother, sister, sibling, and me all have OCD.
7/9 of them are cishet, never been to therapy, never diagnosed. 2/9 are trans, required therapy for hormone treatment, and were diagnosed.
you don't have to do any math to just see that the resulting statistics end up intensely skewed.
and we can think back to how autism was virtually never diagnosed more than 50 years ago - ruling out any grandparents being included in statistics - and even my parents' generation (they're in their 60s now) wouldn't have been included either.
I don't think it's to anyone's benefit to accept these studies uncritically. a lot of these things are hereditary and far more prevalent in the overall population than people realize
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It really is kinda awful how many job listings will just straight up lie to you about what you "need" to be able to do to screen out disabled applicants. Like fucking Safeway will be looking for a cashier and the listing is like "you ABSOLUTELY MUST be able to stand for 8+ hours a day, NO exceptions" as if you can't do everything required to run the check out line sitting down. Old Navy is like "you must be able to understand body language and facial expressions and make eye contact" like sorry dude I think autistic people can sell t-shirts just fine without doing all that, like honestly what the hell does understanding facial expressions have to do with telling someone where the clearance section is. Don't really think the customers at TJ Max are going to go full Purge mode if one employee can only perform a task requiring fine motor skills 15 times a minute instead of 30, like idk maybe you don't need the lines to move thst fast actually. Maybe everyone can chill out and wait a second. I think the people at Starbucks will be okay if the barista isn't great at multitasking and can't make small talk with every single customer while also running the drive through and making 15 different drinks.
It's such horseshit, none of these job require these things but they can just lie and say they do and disabled people will clear out because we know it's just a big neon sign saying "crippled freaks need not apply", even if that sentence is followed by some fake ass fluff about you being an equal opportunity employer. Like you would not be insisting your underpaid cashiers be able to "make eye contact and understand body language" if you cared about not discriminating against disabled people, that wording specifically is straight out of the DSM-5, what you're doing is fucking obvious and pure goddam evil.
The best part too is then you get denied for SSI benefits because you "can" work, they don't actually care that every single job listing is tailor made to tell us to fuck right off. The potential to be able to work and actually being able to be hired are too different things entirely but sure. I can work. If I find an employer that doesn't care that I'm in a wheelchair and can't make eye contact or life heavy objects or that I need to only work 4 hours a day so I still have the energy to take care of myself outside of work and also have to take 10 days a month off for doctor's appointments and unpredictable health flares. And also crucially does NOT require a fucking degree or drivers license. Find me a job like that that and I'd be overjoyed to work.
But trust me, jobs that can accommodate me simply do not fucking exist, and unfortunately for all of us that is very much by design.
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Kiss it Better Pt:3
Curly x Reader
AN: I am just speechless. All this support is making me tear up. Like holy shit. Thank you. Donât worry! When this finishes(god idk how it will Iâm making up as I go since yall want more chapters) Iâll make sure to post it to AO3 for easier access! Just thank you again! And uh. Donât forget I have a Kofi and Wishlist if you wanna like tip or something. NO PRESSURE! Just a reminder to anyone who WANTS and CAN! You come first! Just. Thank you again!
SUM: You couldnât sleep, so you try and remember things with Curly to lull you to sleep. As you do, you remember things that are important for a captain to have. Very important, and you are gonna be certain to find them
Warnings: Jimmy, sexual assault, mentions of abortion (itâs a rather calm chapter really. Take it as a pallet cleanser because the next chapter imma really show you how fucked up Jimmy is))
You just couldnât sleep. It felt criminal to right now. So much was going through your head. So much has happened and now you had time to let it all soak in. The crash, Anya, why there was a crash, Curlyâs condition, it made sleep impossible. Especially alone in that big bed that was meant for you and your husband.
You tried to take in deep breaths, and just let the thoughts wash over you. There was responsibility as the Captains Spouse. You werenât just âeye candyâ like Jimmy said. You had worth, and were just as much important to the team as everyone else.
Such as learning a thing or two about what Captain should do in case of an emergency.
Curly was in no state to help, and Jimmy sure as fuck wonât help either. He was the reason everyone crashed after all. Heâs a loose cannon and you needed to tip toe around him. Who knows what he might do next. You werenât even sure if telling Swansea and Daisuke about whatâs going on was smart.
Swansea has little girls of his own after all. He wonât react well at all. Then thereâs Daisuke. Barely nineteen and thrown into this mess. He might panic or maybe even do something crazy like confront Jimmy. There was just to many what ifs.
So you were left on your own.
You would wrap yourself up in what was once Curlyâs sleep robe and grab his spare ID card. The very thing that can unlock any door, and be the one thing that can lock your bedroom door. Definitely should have Anya sleep in here for a while. She deserves to be able to sleep soundly.
While you were waiting for everyone to sleep as well you would explore the bedroom. Looking into nook and cranny to see if there was anything of use. The Captains always were given a bunch of extra shit after all. Even Pony Express had to meet some safety protocols. Curly was their best after all. Even went as far as to try and help him fine work else where. Thatâs what he explained to you.
Shame. Was just a normal bedroom. The only thing that made it special was it was bigger, and had a lock. Dammit all to hell.
Thatâs when you tried to think back on past memories of you and your husband. To try and recall any kind of special thing the ships carry. Oh how you felt so guilty for never paying enough attention. Made you feel stupid and useless, but you werenât.
At least not in comparison to Jimmy.
With a deep breath, you managed to recall something. Something not long before the crash even. You had knocked on the cockpit door to enter it, and was greeted to your husband and Jimmy working. Curly was rambling on about something, while Jimmy kept eyeing the locker suspiciously. As if he wanted to get inside of it for some reason.
Thatâs your best lead now. God dammit was it a shitty one. The cockpit was stuffed to the brim with foam. But then again thatâs the front of the cockpit. If you were careful, and cut the right spot, maybe you can access the locker.
Itâs something. Something is better than nothing.
With the robe tossed aside, a change into your jump suit, gloves slipped on, and beanie pulled on to keep your head safe you would make your way to the kitchen. Card key tucked securely inside of your jumpsuit compared to a pocket.
Jimmy canât know.
Canât know that you were stealing the only knife that the ship had.
Was going to be a pain in the ass to cut that foam but you really had nothing better to do. So, you unlocked the cock pit and focused on remembering its layout.
âFor Anya, for Curly, for Swansea, for Daisuke, and all our families back home.â
You would start the slow and agonizing cutting. Little by little. Just chopping away to try and reach the right side of the pit. To get to that locker and see what was inside. That locker was in the cockpit for a reason. It can only be accessed by the pilots for a reason. There was a reason.
Any time you felt like your arms would give out you thought back to Curly. How he didnât really have arms anymore to begin with. How Anya was busy throwing up right now. How they needed you. They both needed you.
It had been well over a hour, but you managed to reach the locker. You allowed yourself a breather at the sight of it. Damn was that a pain, but itâll be worth it. Right?
With your breather over you would use the key card to access the locker. Inside wasâŚ.Honestly junk. That had you very disappointed. You were honestly ready to cry out of frustration, only to see there were a few locked cabinets inside.
Ones that needed codes.
Codes you knew.
Curly made you memorize them in case of an emergency. He just said to memorize them. That itâs meant to just unlock pin pads. That Pony Express never bothered to change them.
You went to the lower locker and typed it in.
Strange, there was nothing inside. Suppose whatever was inside was taken out. You wondered what could have been in there. Was a very small locker so maybe it was some code scanner or universal unlocking device. Just wasnât big enough for something you hoped for.
A transmitter.
He prayed it was near the front of the ship. That a transmitter would stuck in the heart of the foam, or as far as just shatter on contact. They had to have a spare communicator. Pony Express had to follow SOME rules after all. Imagine the ship being discovered and the people who found it saw it was missing something as important as that.
So you typed in the code for the larger locker. You were kinda afraid of opening it. To be met with another empty void of metal and dust.
You took a deep breath, and opened.
There really was a god.
There was what you were looking for. A real deal communicator. It was real, it looked untouched and even had dust on it to show that Jimmy never reached it.
Before you grabbed it you made sure to close the door behind you. Just to be sure. Was the dead of night, well from what the clocks say, and everyone should be asleep. Even Jimmy had to sleep. You had to make you move now.
Remain calm, and focus.
You canât fuck this up.
You snuggled yourself into the corner of the pit, with the communication device in your lap. You hooked the head phones onto your head, and turned it on.
As you waited for it to boot up you made sure you were positioned so that if anyone came through the door, for some reason, youâll notice. As far as anyone was aware though this room was basically a wall. No purpose to enter. You should be safe, but you had to think ahead. Jimmy was unpredictable, and so full of himself.
Better to be over prepared than see what happens if Jimmy finds out what you are doing.
Couldnât help but give a squeak of surprise when someone finally spoke to you.
âThis is the Emergency Spaceship Retrieval Sector. What seems to be the problem?â
A woman, through the static, spoke to you. Tears of relief fell down your face but you forced yourself to remain focused. You canât mess this up now. No way no how.
âThis is Tulpar for Pony Express. We have suffered a crash about a month ago. From what I can recall we had been a little over four months into our twelve month journey-â You immediately explained, as to best help them get an estimation on how far the ship had traveled.
âAlright, who may I be speaking to at this moment?â
Deep breaths.
âI am the Spouse to Captain Curly. It is me, Jimmy the co-pilot, Anya the nurse, Swansea the mechanic, and Daisuke our intern.â Deep breaths, keep things quick and to the point.
âAre you all in any immediate danger?â
You had to think about that a moment. Jimmy is a dangerous man. Who knows what he might do next if you donât play along. So, you had to be honest. You felt guilty for telling the operator what happened. That Curly suffered greatly and needed immediate medical attention, how Anya was a victim of assault and required an abortion as soon as possible, and that the reason for it all was because of Jimmy. He crashed the ship, he raped Anya, he destroyed Curly, and god knows what he will do next.
âEstimated arrival time will be about a month. We have your exact location thanks to the communicator. Remain calm, and know that help is on the way. We have logged this down in the report. Take care of your crew the best you can, Captain.â
And she would log off. You would let your head thump back, and simply cried. Cried in pure relief and joy. That a real person heard you, and was aware of whatâs going on. That if anything did go wrong that at least someone knows. Someone will know what happened.
There was hope.
Now was a matter of survival.
One month.
You all needed to survive one month.
One Month Until RescueâŚ
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@dinkyzoop @danart501 @spudfromspace @niyamamiya
#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#mouthwashing x reader#mouthwashing anya#mouthwashing curly#captain curly#curly x reader#captain curly x reader#mouthwashing jimmy#tw jimmy#fuck jimmy#mouthwashing fandom#mouthwashing fanfic#mouthwashing crew#x reader#multi part fic#thank you again for all the support#like wow#you really like my writing?#Iâm so happy#thank you#donât forget I have a AO3 as well!#indie game#indie horror game#horror game#writer#writers on tumblr#writer on tumblr#think thatâs all the tags I need#for now
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Hi! Your blog is really really cool and an awesome source of information with so much context and detail! I really love your approach of like "don't not do it; research, learn, and do it well"!
So Idk if this is a reasonable question or not but I thought it would be better to ask than not to: So I'm endeavoring to write a kids picture book and in it there's a little girl who's Black with a physical disability, probably moderately quadriplegic, and I was wondering about what kind of hairstyles might be realistic for her to potentially have?
Like I know she could technically have anything that a real person could have, but like I don't want to just pick something out for the character just based on how *I* think somethings looks without having a context I don't have yet if that makes sense?
She's about 5 or 6 and she's able to use her hands but she'll have spasticity in them and be using adaptive equipment, and she can move but she'll be in a wheelchair most of the time, so Idk how that might factor into how she/her parents might kind of style her hair?
(it won't really come up in the story since it's about her first day of school, but like more from a design standpoint)
Also idk if this matters to add but I wouldn't be personally doing the art, I'd probably try and connect with someone to illustrate, but I would like to try and have some pretty concrete descriptions for them to work with when the time comes.
Thanks so much, you're so awesome!!!!
That's a good way to summarize my mentality, and I appreciate you catching that! I do get frustrated when people approach writing people different than them as "well is it yes or no" when that's not what it is. It's "put effort into it or leave it alone". Because many things can be done! We can be in any story! It just has to be done with...wait for it... INTENT!
As for your question, she's an industrious child because I was not doing my own hair at 5 and 6 lol. That's a young age for hair. Maybe a ponytail or afro puff at best. I think it would be okay if you allowed her parents to do her hair, which does lead back to her being able to have any style that she might like. Maybe something with less barrettes and such, since they might fall out and she may struggle to put them back in.
So my suggestion would be to look up hairstyles little Black girls, and go through your options and pick one!
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AGAIN, NO SPOILERS just wildly out of context reactions i love folk music so much. anyway Iâll be writing all my thoughts here for the rest of these 28 mins. so.
⢠this song is so so good
⢠jayce u sexy man đ love my glorious goat jayce love him
⢠short haired jinx ily so much ur soooo cutie pie sheâs so sweet with short hair u guys do not get it.
⢠heimerdinger CAN SING HELLO????
⢠ekkođ ekko oh my GOD come home iâm so in love with you itâs actually sick and twisted and deranged please come home please please please please please please please
⢠JAYCE COME HOME RIGHT FUCKING NOW OH MY GOD NO COME HOME OH NY GOD COME HOME WHAT THE SHIT⌠jayce my glorious king im so so in love w u and iâm so sorry this fandom doubted u I NEVER DID KING!!!
⢠jinx & ekko r so fucking funny idk yall i think im kinda nailing their dynamic in my fic both the good and the bad parts
⢠okay i miss her long hair real bad
⢠ekko drops the hardest lines. âSometimes taking a leap forward means leaving a few things behind.â EKKO UR SO RIGHT (guess whatâs going in the fic yall)
⢠the hard cuts between jayce n ekko rlly r fryin me yall. im so lucky im sober bc if i was high watching this episode i would tweak out so bad.
⢠heimerdinger makes very valid points n im so happy ekko has him
⢠ekko in greenđ��đ˝ ekko in GREEN!!! oh lord the arcane graphic design team knew exactly what they were doing GET THIS MAN HIS GOLD JEWELRY AND SOME EMERALD GREEN THREADS STAT!!
⢠jinx𼚠sheâs so cutie patootieđ IF EKKO DONT WANT HER I DO MF MOVE!!!
⢠i fw this song its spanish i fw it heavy
⢠chat is it gay to look at the moon w ur bsf underneath some fairy lights? in this scenario its not GAY but its gay. (i use gay as a substitute for so many words i could not tell u what word in substituting w gay rn but itâs something)
⢠OH MY FUCKING GOD OH MY GOD YES YES YES WE R SOOOO BACK WE R SO BACK YES YES YES YES YES YES TES YES TES TES YES YES YES WOOOOOOO
⢠jayceđ (i miss mel but i also missed my two favs like one missed air soooo) also sorry guys i know this is just how the arcane looks but these holes r freaking me out so fucking bad. like idk the trypophobia it rlly making it hard guys. iâm trying my best to push thru im sorry guys but im probably missing pivotal moments of plot everytime i look away
⢠HOLY SHIT JAYCE?
⢠HOLY SHIT HEIMERDINGER!!!
⢠STOP I FORGOT HOW HE LOOKED PRE-THIS ARC HES SO đ
⢠everyone said i would be crying but i am not?? was i supposed to??
⢠at the end of the day? i got what i wanted n idgaf. crossing this off the bingo card for three things i got right. if episode 8 gives me the other two then i win
live tweeting tweeting arcane part III (NO SPOILERS) yall ekko is so fine im abt to cryđ
#arcane part 3#reactions to this lowkey cute shit#episode 7 was a palate cleanser and i appreciated it immensely#fan service that isnât gay for once n shockingly i still enjoyed it. strange.
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#tumblrstake#queerstake#love getting the real deets from my septa- octa- and nonagenarian friend who were there#and what their parents and maybe even grandparents had to say about it.#i have been told unpublished Joseph Smith III stories. let alone old policy and church screwups and the mildly bizzare recollections#also so many stories about encountering/being visited by the 3 Nephites from generations#that kind of lore is the best#yes. pls tell me what you learned in sunday school in 1960.#thanks for the primary book from 1947#Fred M Smith got caught with a beer by Joseph Smith III (his dad) . he hid it in his tuba but tripped#the beer rolls out of the tuba and is picked up by no one other than father JSIII#he hands it back to fred and says something along the lines of âyou dropped thisâ#like where else are you gonna get that#rlds faction âwarâ where???? kerala 𤯠year?? 1990s#that one was from an ex apostle and is declassified and i used some artistic liscence in description.#community of christ prevailed. but apostle who came to prepare new ministers that had to take over after schism legally can never go back#no one died afaik#i'm just impressed by the apostle who was risking his life for the church in kerala bc theres more to it than this#good history#idk the lgbtq+ history that well other than they did have a group for them at Conference in the 70s#and no open old lgbtq+ friends
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LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD || HACKEARNEY + ALTERNATE UNIVERSES [1/?]
A girl walks into the woods, and a wolf walks out.
The village has a tradition: a girl is chosen as a sacrifice to the Wolf. The Huntsman leads the Chosen into the woods and keeps vigil at the entrance.Â
The girl does not come back. The Wolf stays away.
This is how it has always beenâuntil now.
#hackearney#travis hackett#laura kearney#the quarry#travis x laura#hackearney AU gifseries#a concept series for AUs i may never write lmao#idk how many i'll actually make since i'm fairly limited with what i can use for travis lol#but i have a very tentative idea for a historical one at least#at some point#anyway you can interpret the gifs and the caption however you wish but it was inspired partly by for the wolf by hannah whitten#and obviously diverges quite a bit from the original fairytale but i think you can spin it multiple ways#i've always loved the idea of red as both the girl and the wolf; and wanted to keep laura's wolf transformation in#(which she does! in that music video! but the makeup was a lil too cheesy lol but i actually loved that video lmao)#this started out as a ~no plot just vibes~ thing but then i went on a little mini worldbuilding spiral for this#maybe i'll make a post about it. maybe i'll write it at some point?? who knows#which. these tags are already too long so i won't get into it lmao but! sources!#1&2: mariah scary and the ghoulish cauldrons 'werewolf valentine' MV#4: red riding hood (2011)#sorry the quality is not great on these gifs i did my best#sometimes i make things#wait sorry 3: the trailer for red light bc i couldnât think of another gif to use for him lol
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wizard looking for a way home (aka wizard of dark space)
#pokemon#swsh#champion leon#wizard leon babeyy!#thank u to cosme for hangin out with me while I figure this one out lol#this! is the piece I used for the ''speedpaint'' thingy btw. I'll try to put together the video over the next month or so#lol. usually when I make wizard leon designs I riff with what comes up and think abt like. maybe his affinity in this set#like ''oh he'd do fabric talismans. oh he'd levitate. he does poppet stuff''#that at most. but this. the moment I started fleshing this one out I was like#oh he's really lost. for a very long time. to the point he's learned so much he's forgotten what many of the things on his suit does#like lmao I guess I can Not be normal about any astronaut leon huh!! its chronic for me#I couldnt get to some of the questions folks asked with this one. so this video will probably not be comprehensive#but I'll make another when those things come up!!#fksjdfk sorry lads most of u guys asked abt colors but idk if this ones the best for that. its got a preddy concrete palette#guess I can save talking about the more insane color stuff for when that comes up too...#we'll see!! hope it's gonna happen#for now. one more wizard leon for the book. have a good night lads!#tie a yarn round ur wrist dont forget the way back
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now that i've taken in the entire show and am about to rewatch simply because i can............... i'm so pissed that dave erickson got fired because damn........
#i just think that s4 would have been insane.#i presume frank still would have wanted off the show and so naturally that chasm dave built between maddie and nick would've been... yea#idk- i think it would've been good tv. maybe. he doesn't talk too much on it but he says enough to give an impression.#i'm also inherently biased because he also said madison was the one character he saw making it all the way to the series finale#which ultimately. she does. but the story would have been much different for her. she would've felt More Madison#additionally.. of course there are characters born from the switch of writers that i'm glad we got and may otherwise have not got but....#i'd pay a pretty penny to have been able to see what dave had in store for the characters we had with us at the end of s3.#and to see what he would have done with 3b had he not wanted to wrap up certain loose ends of his creation before his departure.#the first 3 seasons of fear are the best ones. imo. for so many reasons. which i think had a lot to do with dave.#he separated ftwd from twd in big ways that i'm not going to get into but so much got jammed in s4-s8 that. it felt like the new writers#were mostly trying to pay homage to twd than to the characters and the story lines that made fear what it was. y'know.#the entire tone seemed to shift in the show. they subjected it to all the crazy time jumps. etc etc etc. which works in some ways on twd bu#they didn't do the same service to ftwd.#maybe that's just me.#dave Got the vision.#and i think it would've been really beautiful to get to see him ride it out (even if for another season or two)
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actually stunned by how gay The Beatles has been all this time and I just never knew
#like its always just been there in my life but i just never paid attention#my university roomie was obsessed w them and had several beatles posters that i looked at every day#so stuff like the pictures of them from the let it be album are like engrained into my brain#and yet i never knew the lore??#nor did i know until recently that they were actually all high school buds nor did i know they wrote their own music#nor that they genuinely basically invented modern bands n using the studio the way they did etc. so all that was very impressive and cool#but THEN on top of that omg the angsty gayness of john and paul#like all i knew previously basically was that john was a thing w yoko ono and paul had a young wife recently#i had at one point heard of people shipping j&p together and was just kinda like wow i guess people will ship anything#I DIDNT KNOW#that they were actually like that cute and that insane together and that their song writing together was like an actual marriage#anywayz the old pictures and videos of them are just like jesus look how they look at each other i dont think it was just being bros#i am sort of in the camp of they prob didn't act on it for real but there was def some insane tension/chemistry going on#and then ofc once youre aware of this their songs take on so many possible meanings outside of just singing about their gfs and wives....#anyways i just have to vent about this somewhere bc im actually shocked at how this has just passed me by all these years#and it definitely was not on my bingo card for 2024 to fixate on the beatles but here we are lol#more proof to me that my ultimate fave trope or wtv is 'besties to enemies when really they actually probably wanted to be lovers'#gets me every time!!!!#whats been fun about this rabbit hole is how just every single one of my expectations has been reversed as well#i went in assuming i would like them best in this order:#(1) george (2) ringo (3) paul and (4) john#i was sure i would hate john i thought he sounded so pretentious and like such a douche#but no actually he is my fave one and it's literally in reverse order for me i find george my least fave#(i like his music and feel bad for how he got ignored in the band but i like him the least)#and then i literally am john paul ringo george in order of faves now#i just love when i get surprised like that idk it keeps me on my toes and keeps things exciting and fresh#and yes john is indeed pretentious and a douche but i didn't know he was also funny and vulnerable and that i like his voice and songs#the most in the bunch almost every time as well#the beatles#p
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always found this little parallel between how scott speaks about buddy cole vs danny husk fascinating:
(top quote is from this 2017 vulture interview, bottom quote is from paul myers' 2018 book "one dumb guy")
'he's smarter than me. braver than me. he's better than me'' vs ''danny may not be the smartest or the bravest but he's a very decent man''
#on its own this is a cool (probably unintentional) echo of how scott talks about two of his biggest characters#but of course being the buddy-cole-documentary person and the only person who's mentioned scott's ptsdiva podcast to him upon first meeting#(true fact he hadn't heard anyone mention that podcast since it finished releasing and that was a big part of my first impression)#i'm so excited to hopefully dig into the deeper implications of this#bc throughout scott's career he's used buddy as a way to process his thoughts on a variety of topics and to speak his mind#BUT. after he recovered from his cancer. he didn't immediately launch another buddy cole side project like he did so many times#(and i mean MANY times that's why i have a whole goddamn timeline for buddy cole side projects)#no. after he recovered from cancer he wrote the *danny husk* graphic novel#and there's also an interview from around that time (i can't find it rn but i know i have it bookmarked) where he low key blames buddy cole#for how he's always been typecast as the gay-best-friend. which while buddy cole is proudly a stereotype#he's still the exact opposite of that trope bc he has agency. and that's why scott made so many buddy cole side projects#while he was paying the bills with gay-best-friend roles in the late 90s#so what was it in this case that made him go ''actually i don't want to write from the perspective of someone who's better than me''#and embrace a bit of danny husk energy?#i haven't read his danny husk graphic novel yet but i do have some theories#but idk actively theorizing on here (especially as someone who is friends with scott) feels a bit too far so i'm gonna leave it at this#a cool parallel. an interesting timeline pattern. an indication of one of the questions from my next interview#i would say ''i wonder if anyone else has noticed this'' but come on jess you're the only one who would have seen both these things
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ok let's catch up quickly
#so i went on a few dates w this guy. long hair beautiful face kinda looked like a girl (good) said yes ma'am when i told him to do smth#(also good) film student great at photography including candids. made a sheath of leather for a sword pin i have . et cetera.#he asked to cuddle and i was like iggg and then i felt Nothing and i was like ohhh yh ok ok yep lesbian#like he meets almost all my criteria but. yeahhh no . also at the end of that date he had some weird takes. anyway broke up w him and told#him actually im p sure im a lesbian (again) and he was like yk thats the second time this has happened to me this week but its ok bc ive#fallen for this girl from berlin. and then we cooked together. anyway . met a beautiful butch lowk in love w her. weve been on (1) date.#have two exams in a few days havent studied enough going to like end it all basically. my research partner kicked me off our research#(expected(it was always skinda sketchy)) which was devastating + it happened in a lidl 15 hours into a journey from bordeaux#to go back to the UK. my friends were kinda busy paying for baguettes but also they heard this whole exchange and are kinda mad at him#my friend of 10+ years is coming over in a few days. my evil ex situationship person that i decided to stay friends w because i kept#insisting they are a good friend and not evil and also extremely beautiful? turns out shockingly enough they were evil. tried to fix them#and then i realised due to their entire friendship group being ppl like me (Every Single One of their friends are ppl they met on dating#apps then led on then dumped and proposed staying friends w) and are collectively extremely attracted to them and not over them they#keep validating the most diabolical shit they say/do to hace a chance w them. they broke up w their ex and the way they keep leading#this poor girl on and making her heartbeeak worse and saying that they want more power over her and want her to beg for them back etc...MY#JAW HAD DROPPED esp bc i didnt even know the ex was in the picture BECAUSE ME AND ONE OF OUR FRIENDS (that they also dated) HAD JUSR SLEPT#NAKED TOGETHER IN THEIR BED W THEM. GIRL. anyway that is the least of the diabolical stuff they said but no we are moving onnn#this was b4 the beautiful butch btw. anyways . i have a mitski concert tmrw i think?? idek anymore#i used to have a crush on this guy very briefly and then it disappeared and then i realised if he fundementally changed everything abt#himself then maybe id like him but ofc i didnt tell him that but i still think abt it sometimes but anyway thats irrelevant now bc 99% sure#even if he did id still not find him attractive (lesbianism). please recommend good overnight moisturisers btw i have super dry skin#right. the friend of 10 yrs. we had a hard convo abt why she essentially bullied me in year 8 and it made me highly bitter but i also love#her and ik things are diff now its been like . Many Years . and shes going to stay a while I HAVE TWO EXAMS I DONT HAVE TIME but i love her#its fine. i think i might just switch into medicine and do the whole become a neurosurgeon thing (which was my plan B) bc plan A is looking#kinda impossible rn. I WANNA TALK MORE ABT WHAT THE EX SITUATIONSHIP PERSON SAID but i wont bc i dont wanna be too mean but also . MY GOD#i had a conversation w a philosopher friend about whether i have a moral responsibility to try to fix them bc unleashing this on society#feels wrong and he said 'probably but...run' so yeah im not talking to them atm. second date w beautiful butch on monday btw IDK WHAT TO#WEAR. she said she likes fems. im just gonna wear the shortest ralph lauren skirt i have w the cute leg warmers and hope 4 the best#its 1:15 AM im abt to drink coffee and start studying bc what the FUCK man. also almost finished watching the boys its very good#one of my best friends is struggling rn it is breaking my heart i want to take the burden from her i miss her very much
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footnotes arent enough I need you to talk to me like im fucking Amelia Bedelia
#this isnât about anything in particular btw. I just have to add a lot of memos when Iâm doing things because some things are done a certain#way and it isnât explained well in the instructions. like my mom has instructions on her baking recipes right#but when it says stuff like add dry ingredients to wet ingredients it also means you donât dump it in one go you add it slowly by portion#this is probably why I find videos and demonstrations the most helpful when I learn something. like I almost always ask someone to show me#how they do it because there could be something they do thatâs already second nature and wouldnât really be considered in an explanation yk#I donât think Iâm an exception either. when the rice is done cooking I divide it into 4 quarters to bless it#but there are a million ways to divide rice and it makes me think that one persons way of doing it or not doing it all is just as valid#theres also technically no wrong way to divide rice afaik. this means either all ways of dividing rice is safe or valid until we find some#universally terrible way of dividing rice. until that happens nobody really thinks about specifying HOW you divide the rice#source: I have anxiety starting and doing things for the first time because I got way too many people yell at me NONONO WHAT ARE YOU DOING#THATS WRONG while Iâm in the middle of doing the thing. I would rather have people think Iâm either very stupid or overly specific#than go thru the panic inducing fear of âYOURE DOING THIS WRONG OMG WHY DIDNT YOU ASK AHEAD OF TIME THIS WILL BE FUCKED UP FOREVERâ đ§#nothing wrong if you donât give something a second thought because youâre so used to it. but I can and will ask about it and I donât think I#really should feel bad about it if I donât know enough to dispute it. idk#the other way around I try to be as specific as possible and word things in a way that people who might not get where Iâm coming from will#understand. but the problem with that is my explanations tend to be lengthy and I lose them either way đż#Im. trying to work on that using examples and stuff because they seem to work the best#but if I could write everything down on a word doc and beam it into your melon that would save both of us time and embarassment#im rambling the short version is I have adhd#yapping
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Song meme - Ieeha
Choose a song with a title that goes with the first of each letter in your characters name (last name optional).
I - Intro / il y a - Mutyumu E - Ett Dolt Begär - Garmarna E - Endless - Exist Trace H - Heaven - 9GOATS BLACK OUT A - Au Revoir - Malice Mizer
D - Die - BUCK-TICK E - elephant - the god and death stars
V - Virus - BjĂśrk E - elephant in the room - the god and death stars R - Ranunculus - Dir en Grey R - ROKA - the god and death stars A - Aftermath - sukekiyo L - Le Ciel - Malice Mizer
Tagged by: No one. I did this years ago and wanted to again. <3
Tagging: @amberwound @captainqster @ahollowgrave @fourfoldfires @zylphiacrowley @neoma-eltanin @ffxivtribehydrae @witcherbatard @apheliondusk @avampyone if you wish to of course (and also anyone else who wants to do it!) EDIT: tags arent working save me
#greatest challenge: using his whole name to squeeze in more songs but then needing to find enough starting with E and struggling#which means i couldnt make it as varied with artists as i hoped <3 but thats fine i love tgads#so many others i WISH i could have included but alas no letters for those in his name....#a select few from his playlist(s) though#ieeha de verral#character meme#oc meme#ive had this in my drafts since december it turns out but then i forgot about it#so swapped the screenshot and swapped around some songs and yknow what im done HAHAH#idk if i can pick just one song that fits best out of all these..... but au revoir with malice mizer is UP there. le ciel too.#okay all of them are but those two have been two of his main ones for a decade now#and just as relevant now as they were back then
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Hrmm... put together a roommates quiz finally after years of thinking it would be an interesting idea lol.. Though obviously not meant to be taken super seriously, I just like thinking about this aspect of personality compatibility. Like yeah, maybe you could get along with someone just chatting with them, but living together is such a different thing. .. curiouse...
#Not that I think that many people would really care since I barely know anyone on tumblr in real life and would never live with random#internet strangers lol but... idk.. I made this to give to friends from time to time and thought... why not post it here too#just out of sheer curiosity if anyone takes it what the most common results would be and etc.#My initial assumption is that most people would probably fall into the 'maybe' category and that either extreme of 'best roomates'#and 'worst roomates' would be the least common#very long also since I like to be thorough I guess#THOUGH... upon second thought... tumblr is home of the like Weird Introverts Who Sit Inside All The Time.. so maybe it's more#likely to come across compatible poeple on here. given that many of the questions are about how meticulous#people are with their scehdules or how often they invite friends over or if they like to mostly stay inside etc.#(since personally I think having a roommate coming and going and bringing random people over all the time would be too chaotic#lol... I need a peaceful quiet household)#Also I kind of don't like the way uquiz seems to do results. I was hoping it would be a number tally? I used some sort of quiz making site#before where you weight the question responses with a number (so the 'Best' response is worth a 0#The worst is worth like 5 points. and all the in between are like 1 - 4 points or something). So then it is actually possible to have a#''perfect score'' category (someone who gets a literal 0 points). and also you could weight some EXTREMELY bad answers#to add like +10 to the score instead of just +5. And someone who got the MAX possible points would be the WORST compatibility. etc.#But uquiz seems to just be like ''which category did you score towards the MOST'. So someone can give some pretty bad answers#that are VERY non compatible. but as long as MOST of their answers landed in a 'compatible' category#then they would still be listed as compatible despite still actually having some dealbreakers in there. Which is also possible with the#'every answer is a number amount' ranking system too. but I feel like that one does allow for a little more customization#and accuracy (like making the dealbreakers add like...+40 to the score or something so that#there's basically NO way that someone could answer with one of those and still get a good score. Or the ability to have a literal#'perfect score' (getting a zero) etc.#BUt anyway lol... inchresting.. inchresting... curious to consider maybe making a uquiz#for the characters in the gameI'm making like.. which npc are you type quiz or something#now that I've made one and seen how it works.. hrmm hrmm....#(< game will not even be done for like another year but still thinking about nonsense like this lol)
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"Rodimus is a better Prime because it didn't hurt for him to bond with the Matrix while for Optimus it did" headcanon/theory my beloathed.
One day I'm literally gonna snap and make a whole post addressing why what's wrong bc I'm tired of the inaccuracy and tired of ppl not understanding the Point TM of IDW and its version of the Matrix/Primacy and even more tired of people putting down Optimus in favor of Rodimus by essentially arguing that being unworthy means you deserve to be punished/put in pain bc you just weren't good enough to hold the Symbol of Ultimate Authority
#it's wrong on so many levels both in terms of lore and as well as like what the general themes of idw1 are#it's just a validation contest using the matrix as some magical symbol to decide who's the most special#which is ironically something that was a plot point in exrid/OP. specifically how stupid of an idea that is ldskjflksd#ppl revealing that they havent read anything besides mtmte/ll as usual#like half the reason ppl think optimus is a bad prime and rodimus is a good prime is literally bc like#optimus was written by an author who was specifically trying to deconstruct him (sometimes to the point of absurdity)#and rodimus was written by an author who takes a more optimistic/idealistic approach. and is also better at writing#but also like am i seriously the only person who thinks that that argument is fucked up?????#like 'OP felt pain which means he's unworthy/not a real prime/not a true leader'#ok so you think that there's a hierarchy of moral goodness in which anyone who falls short of that Moral Ideal should suffer#as a sign of their unworthiness?? like does that not sound dystopian as hell to any of you?? why would you WANT the matrix to work like tha#even if the theory were true (which it isn't) why would you view the matrix as a good authoritative moral judge of character#if its idea of 'moral judgement' is to inflict pain on anyone who's supposedly not truly good/worthy#wasn't the entire point of the ending of LL (including rodimus being a good leader) that everyone is worth it?#like rodimus literally said 'you ARE damn well good enough' or something like that#so what? everyone else in the universe tries their best and that's enough but somehow when OP suffers it's like#a sign that he's not actually a good prime/leader?? we're really going with the punitive perspective purely for One Guy??#swear to god ppl are projecting their authority issues onto Optimus the way they shit on him for things they would excuse#if any other character did it#Optimus is uniquely deserving of pain/being marked as unworthy bc idk he was a cop once and that offends my delicate sensibilities#what's even funnier is how much harm was inflicted by rodimus as a captain sheerly due to his stupidity or ego but everyone forgives him#i guess bc as long as the matrix likes him that means he's valid no matter what he actually does as a person#WHICH IS SOMETHING IDW ITSELF ARGUED AGAINST BC A LOT OF THE PRIMES THAT WERE CHOSEN BY THE MATRIX#WERE DICKS AND THE FACT THEY COULD WIELD THE MATRIX DIDN'T MAKE THEM GOOD PEOPLE#like oh my god stop using the matrix as an arbiter of moral authority in idw1 it literally goes against the themes of the story#including the themes that are embodied in rodimus himself#idw op love
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