#there's people I like and I wish I could be on friendly terms with them but if I do start a conversation then I feel awkward and bothersome

[ibijau]

today I feel very lonely, and very stupid

[running-in-the-dark]

On days like today I really wish I still had a therapist. It would help so much to discuss what happened with a neutral outsider, someone who is a competent, apparently well adjusted person whose judgment I can trust. Like, I know we didn't do anything wrong, I even googled it to see if you have to ask your landlord before drilling holes in walls here (you don't). But it didn't help, I still feel like I did everything wrong and like I'm a horrible person. Knowing that's illogical doesn't help unless someone else that I trust confirms it and discusses the whole thing with me. Because my brain is stupid.

[adickaboutspoons]

Mostly I was responding to the points raised in @scarrletmoon's response, but you raise some excellent points to which I'd like to respond. Feel free to ignore if you're tired of my bullshit. I completely understand the impulse. 1st, you're absolutely right; I was coming across as gate-keepery by saying that I find Stede's eccentricities charming as though that ought be the default experience. For that I apologize. I ought to have taken more care. When I said "And that's valid, but I would say that those are the parts that the crew and Ed grow to love once they embrace those parts of him instead of cringing at them" what I meant to convey is that the experience of 2nd-hand embarrassment when Stede does something that recalls to the viewer times when they have felt ashamed/were made to feel shame because of something they did is absolutely understandable, but we can take heart in Stede being accepted & loved for those parts of him, & find hope that so too may we be embraced for our own quirks & foibles. My intention was to encourage others to be more gentle with & accepting of their own perceived failings, but I can see now that I failed to adequately express that, & for that I am sorry. I do take issue with the suggestion that I am strawmanning, though; I would argue that how one views Stede's motivation & framing absolutely informs the extent to which/moments in which one finds his behavior cringe-worthy. In your original post, you contend Stede is "pretending to be this macho pirate captain who totally knows what he's doing" & your response above adds he's a bad manager & a jerk because he's praising himself & chiding his employees, whom you interpret as him treating as stand-ins for his own children. If that's how you're framing the scenario, then, sure - I can see how his behavior comes across as cringe to you. But that's not at all how I perceived it. I will grant he is pretending more expertise than he actually possesses, but he IS a pirate captain, & as to the attribution of "macho" I absolutely disagree, specifically because he is textually interested in a form of piracy that is not that. Because that is my understanding of the scene, in the debrief scene I see a person excited at the success of what, if Black Pete is to be believed, is their very 1st raid, & doesn't understand why everyone else wasn't also chuffed. He then listens to Wee John' criticism & encourages him to clarify WHY he feels the way he does. When Wee John identifies the lack of a flag as a contributing factor to his disgruntlement, Stede provides materials so they can rectify the deficit. This isn't Stede forcing arts & crafts on these grown-ass men (& Jim) - it's Stede hearing a problem & supplying the means to a solution. Similarly, he hears out Buttons about the crew's dissatisfaction, & tries to rectify it by finding a more appealing target for a raid, even though he obviously feels unequal to the task himself. To me, that's the complete opposite of a bad manager (to me he's a bad manager when he's being dismissive of the crew's input, like the fuckery brainstorming, & even then he climbs down from his high horse & apologizes. Which? GREAT manager!). Where you see Stede infantilizing his crew, I see them taking part in activities that, while generally relegated to childhood, aren't implicitly childish, & of their own volition, & Stede sowing the seeds that will eventually blossom into a found family (not imposing an established family structure). For clarity, I'm not saying my interpretation is objectively right, nor that yours is wrong. I'm just saying framing is going to influence perception of whether Stede's behavior is Cringe, & that's kind of what I was getting at with my myriad examples of Stede behaving "authentically" or "inauthentically" & when that is a viable predictor of a general fandom perception of when Stede is being Cringe. Because I really don't think it is. This is going to continue in the notes because tumlr thinks they can cut my mic.

listen I love stede a lot - I think he's the bravest character in the show. he changes everyone he meets for the better. he embodies what I think of as the thesis of the show. if he wasn't the way that he is, the show would not be very good, imo.

but in ep one he gives his pirate crew notes on the raid they just did as though they were a community theater troupe and his notes were 1) complimenting his own opening speech as "very inspiring" and 2) complaining that that the crew wasn't sufficiently enthusiastic about robbing two poor fisherman of a single plant.

during the raid his narration went "some men are born to be pirate captains, others learn on the job. me? well I'm a pretty solid mix of both" as though he has any idea what he's doing.

and AFTER the raid Olu has to gently point out to him that piracy isn't a game to the rest of the crew.

There's a reason that Rhys Darby was the only person capable of playing Stede without making him seem like a total dick. And I think that's bc Rhys was able to convey the idea that Stede's behavior in the first few eps is coming out of this deep sense of insecurity - he's doing some Stede-y things (flag making! paying the crew! bedtime stories!) that are great but he's also pretending to be this macho pirate captain who totally knows what he's doing. And it's the pretending that makes people cringe with second hand embarrassment. While also, often, seeing themselves in it and feeling a great deal of sympathy for Stede about it.

The reason Stede is like this is because HE thinks there's something deeply wrong with him, a belief that has been solidified by everyone around him his entire life, and therefore he needs to do everything he can to hide that deeply wrong thing about him. When he unpacks that and embraces the things about himself he originally thought were embarrassing (being weak, pathetic, soft, etc), he can stop pretending. And that's when other characters grow to love him! And so people will sometimes call him cringe because they aspire to be cringe like him, to embrace the parts of themselves that they were punished for and live more authentically.

because he changes! that's the point! he moves from cringe (pretending to be someone he's not) to cringe (being true to himself, always a deeply vulnerable thing to be) and it takes a lot of hard work. that's what makes me LIKE him as a character. that's what I think makes him the bravest character on the show. because he doesn't start out perfect. he's a puppet who grows into a real boy and that means that for a period of time he was a puppet, and that's okay.

[ms-snape]

Jealous severus x reader? maybe involving lockheart

Title: Someone Like Me?

Warning: Angst, jealous severus, lockhart

Words Count: 3000+

Masterlist

---

The air in the Hogwarts greenhouse was thick with the scent of soil and herbs as Y/N moved gently through the rows of plants. She had always found comfort here, among the vibrant greenery and the soft hum of magical growth. Herbology was her sanctuary, and each day she poured her heart into tending to the rare plants and teaching her students how to care for them with the same tenderness.

It was peaceful, or at least, it had been until recently.

As of late, her tranquility had been invaded by a certain new presence at the school—Gilderoy Lockhart, the newly appointed Defense Against the Dark Arts professor. His arrival had caused quite the stir, especially among the female students and even some of the staff, but for Y/N, his constant attention was becoming more than a little uncomfortable.

At first, she had thought it was just harmless friendliness. Lockhart had swept into her greenhouse on the first week of term, his toothy smile gleaming as brightly as the medals on his robes.

"My dear Professor Y/N!" he had exclaimed, clasping his hands together in a gesture that was all too theatrical. "I must say, you have the most enchanting little space here! It’s no wonder the students speak so highly of you."

Y/N had blushed, embarrassed by the attention, and murmured something about the plants deserving the praise, not her. Lockhart, however, had waved away her modesty with a laugh that echoed too loudly in the intimate confines of the greenhouse.

"Nonsense, nonsense! I can see that you put as much care into your work as I do into my own," he said, leaning in just a little too close. "You and I, we have much in common, I think."

She had smiled politely, trying not to shrink under his overly familiar presence. She wasn’t used to people being so forward with her. It wasn’t that she was oblivious—Y/N had noticed Lockhart’s flirtations—but she simply didn’t know how to respond. Confrontation wasn’t in her nature, and she didn’t want to create awkwardness among the staff. So, she had smiled, and tried to extricate herself from his attention as gracefully as she could.

But it didn’t stop there.

Lockhart’s visits to the greenhouse became more frequent. He would find reasons to come by during her lessons, interrupting her with flamboyant anecdotes about his supposed adventures. The students would giggle or roll their eyes, but Y/N found herself growing more and more uneasy. His compliments had become more pointed, more personal, always accompanied by a lingering touch on her arm or a too-familiar smile.

"Professor Y/N," Lockhart had said one afternoon, as he appeared at her greenhouse once more, his robes billowing dramatically behind him. "I was just telling the Headmaster how much we make the perfect team, you and I. Perhaps we should write a book together! Herbs and Heroics, don’t you think? It would sell like that." He snapped his fingers, leaning toward her again.

Y/N’s discomfort had risen, her hands twisting nervously around a sprig of dittany. "I—I’m really not a writer, Professor Lockhart. I don’t think—"

"Nonsense!" he interrupted, his tone dripping with charm. "With your knowledge of plants and my experience, we’d make quite the pair. Don’t you think?"

His hand brushed her shoulder as he spoke, and Y/N stiffened slightly. She gave a weak smile, hoping he’d take the hint, but once again, she found herself trapped by her own politeness. She didn’t want to upset him, didn’t want to cause a scene, but Merlin, how she wished he would leave her alone.

Across the castle, in the dimly lit Potions classroom, Severus Snape stood over a cauldron, stirring the mixture with precise movements, though his mind was far from the task at hand.

For weeks now, he had been watching. Watching as Lockhart fawned over Y/N, as he invaded her personal space with that nauseating smile and those absurd stories. It was infuriating. Severus had always been protective of Y/N—more than he would ever admit. They had worked together for years now, and though their relationship had never ventured beyond professional, he had long harbored feelings for her that he kept buried deep inside.

He had always told himself that Y/N deserved better than him, better than someone as broken and cold as he was. She was kind, too kind for the likes of him. So, he had never acted on his feelings, content to watch from the sidelines, to enjoy the small moments when they shared quiet conversations about rare herbs or discussed the latest potions ingredients she had gathered for him.

But now, with Lockhart constantly hovering around her, Severus found his resolve crumbling.

At first, he had tried to ignore it. Lockhart was a buffoon, and surely Y/N would see through his ridiculous posturing soon enough. But day after day, Severus watched as Lockhart showered her with attention, and worst of all, Y/N didn’t reject him. She didn’t push him away. She didn’t seem to be upset by his advances.

And that was what hurt the most.

Perhaps, Severus thought bitterly, she liked Lockhart’s attention. Perhaps she enjoyed the compliments, the flirtation. Why wouldn’t she? Lockhart was everything Severus wasn’t—charming, outgoing, and confident. And while Severus could see through the man’s facade, perhaps Y/N couldn’t.

Perhaps she was falling for him.

The thought sent a cold wave of pain through Severus, and he found himself withdrawing from Y/N more and more. It was easier that way. Easier to distance himself before he had to watch her fall into Lockhart’s arms. He started avoiding her, no longer lingering in the staffroom when she entered, no longer stopping by her greenhouse to ask for ingredients. He couldn’t bear it. Couldn’t bear to watch her be swept away by someone so unworthy of her, and yet… someone she seemed to be accepting.

Y/N had noticed the change almost immediately.

Severus was avoiding her.

For weeks now, he had been cold, distant, and she couldn’t understand why. She had always admired Severus, despite his stern demeanor and cutting remarks. There was something about him that intrigued her, something deeper, and over the years, she had come to value the rare moments when he let his guard down, even if just for a second.

But now, it was as if he had built a wall between them. She couldn’t even catch his eye in the hallways, and whenever she tried to speak to him, he dismissed her with a curt nod or a sharp word. It hurt more than she cared to admit. She missed him, missed their quiet conversations and the way he would surprise her with his vast knowledge of plants and potions.

At first, she thought she had done something to upset him, but no matter how many times she went over their last conversations, she couldn’t find anything wrong. It wasn’t until she saw the way Severus’s eyes flickered with something close to anger when he caught her speaking with Lockhart that she began to piece it together.

Could it be… jealousy?

The thought was almost too much to believe. Severus, jealous of Lockhart? The idea seemed absurd, and yet, the more she thought about it, the more sense it made. She had seen the way his expression darkened when Lockhart was near, the way his jaw clenched whenever the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor tried to engage her in conversation.

But if Severus was upset, he wasn’t going to tell her. He was too stubborn for that.

So, after weeks of being brushed aside, Y/N decided she needed to confront him. She couldn’t take the cold distance anymore, and if he was angry with her, she needed to know why.

One evening, after a particularly long day in the greenhouse, Y/N made her way down to the dungeons. She had seen Severus slip out of the Great Hall after dinner, his usual shadowy presence retreating into the depths of the castle. She followed him, her heart pounding in her chest with nerves, but she was determined to get answers.

She found him in his office, sitting behind his desk, a quill in hand as he scrawled something into a large, leather-bound book. He didn’t look up when she knocked softly on the doorframe.

"Severus," she said quietly, stepping into the room.

He didn’t respond at first, his eyes remaining fixed on the parchment before him.

"Severus," she repeated, a little more firmly.

With a sigh of irritation, he finally glanced up, his dark eyes cold and unreadable. "What do you want, Y/N?"

Y/N hesitated, her fingers twisting nervously together. "I… I need to know why you’ve been avoiding me."

Severus’s expression didn’t change. He set his quill down, leaning back in his chair with a look of cool indifference. "I don’t know what you’re talking about."

"Yes, you do," Y/N pressed, stepping closer to his desk. "You’ve been avoiding me for weeks now, and I don’t understand why. Did I do something to upset you?"

He let out a harsh laugh, though there was no humor in it. "Upset me? No, Y/N, you didn’t upset me. I simply have no interest in wasting my time with someone like you."

The words hit her like a physical blow, and she took a step back, her eyes widening in hurt and confusion. "Someone like me? What does that mean?"

Severus’s gaze was sharp, his voice colder than she had ever heard it. "You know exactly what it means. I’ve seen the way you prance around with Lockhart, letting him fawn over you like some lovesick puppy. Clearly, you enjoy the attention."

Y/N’s heart clenched painfully in her chest. "I—Severus, it’s not like that. I don’t—"

But he cut her off, his words laced with bitterness. "Don’t insult my intelligence, Y/N. I’ve seen how you let him flirt with you, how you blush and smile like a schoolgirl..I don’t have time for someone like you. If you enjoy Lockhart’s company so much, then by all means, continue. But don’t expect me to waste my time on someone who can’t even see past his ridiculous charm."

Y/N felt tears prick at the corners of her eyes, the weight of his cruel words crushing her. She had never seen Severus like this, so angry, so hurt. She opened her mouth to speak, to defend herself, but the words wouldn’t come. All she could do was stand there, frozen in place, as Severus’s cold gaze bore into her.

When she finally found her voice, it was barely a whisper. "I never wanted his attention, Severus. I’ve only ever—"

"Enough," Severus snapped, standing abruptly and turning away from her. "I don’t want to hear it. If you wish to continue entertaining that fool, that’s your business. But I will not be part of it."

With that, he stormed out of the room, leaving Y/N standing there, her heart shattered and tears spilling down her cheeks. She had come for answers, but all she had found was pain.

The following days were a blur for Y/N. She avoided the staffroom, avoided Severus, and kept to herself in the greenhouse. She couldn’t stop replaying their conversation in her head, his harsh words echoing painfully in her mind. I simply have no interest in wasting my time with someone like you.

She hadn’t known it was possible to feel this hurt, this rejected. For the first time, she found herself dreading the start of each day, dreading the possibility of seeing Severus in the halls. The spark of happiness that usually came with her work had dimmed, replaced by a hollow sadness that seemed to follow her everywhere she went.

Even her students noticed the change in her demeanor, though they were too polite to mention it. She tried to hide her feelings, tried to put on a brave face, but it was difficult. Every time she passed Severus in the corridors, her heart ached with the memory of his words, and every time Lockhart made his usual visits to the greenhouse, she felt a wave of nausea rise in her throat.

It didn’t take long for Minerva McGonagall to notice.

One afternoon, as Y/N was tending to a bed of mandrakes, Minerva appeared at the door of the greenhouse, her sharp eyes studying Y/N with a knowing look.

"Y/N," she said softly, stepping into the room. "May I have a word?"

Y/N looked up, startled, and quickly wiped her hands on her apron. "Of course, Minerva."

Minerva approached her, her expression softening as she saw the sadness in Y/N’s eyes. "You’ve been rather quiet lately, my dear. Is everything all right?"

Y/N forced a smile, though it didn’t reach her eyes. "I’m fine, just… busy."

Minerva didn’t seem convinced. She took a seat on one of the nearby benches, folding her hands in her lap as she spoke. "You’ve been avoiding the staffroom, and I can’t help but notice that you haven’t been your usual self. Is there something going on? Does it have to do with Severus?"

The mention of his name sent a sharp pang through Y/N’s chest, and she looked away, her hands trembling slightly as she fussed with the dirt on her fingertips.

"I… I don’t know," she admitted quietly. "I thought we were friends, but lately… I think I’ve upset him. He won’t talk to me anymore."

Minerva’s brow furrowed, concern flashing across her features. "I see. Severus can be… difficult, at times. But I know he holds you in high regard. It’s unlike him to act this way without reason."

Y/N let out a soft sigh, her voice tinged with sadness. "I don’t know what I did wrong. He said I was wasting his time, that he didn’t want to deal with me anymore. And now… now he won’t even look at me."

Minerva’s eyes softened, and she reached out to place a comforting hand on Y/N’s arm. "I don’t believe that’s true, my dear. Severus may not always show it, but he cares deeply for the people in his life. Whatever has caused this rift between you, I don’t believe it’s something you’ve done."

Y/N shook her head, her throat tightening with the weight of her emotions. "But he’s so angry with me. He thinks… he thinks I like Lockhart."

At the mention of Lockhart’s name, Minerva’s expression shifted into something closer to exasperation. "Lockhart? Merlin, that man has been more of a nuisance than I expected. But Severus should know better than to assume that you have any interest in him. He’s clearly projecting his own insecurities onto you."

Y/N blinked, surprised by Minerva’s words. "You think… you think Severus is jealous?"

Minerva smiled faintly, her eyes twinkling with amusement. "I do, Y/N. It’s quite obvious to those of us who know him well. Severus may not be the most forthcoming when it comes to his feelings, but it’s clear that he has feelings for you. He’s just too proud—and too afraid—to admit it."

Y/N’s heart skipped a beat at Minerva’s words. Could it be true? Could Severus’s coldness and bitterness be a result of jealousy?

Minerva gave her a knowing look, standing up from the bench. "I suggest you talk to him, Y/N. Really talk to him. He may not make it easy, but I think you’ll find that he cares more than he lets on."

Severus paced his chambers, his mind a storm of conflicting emotions. He had hurt her—he knew that much. The look in her eyes when he had spoken those cruel words haunted him, and yet, he couldn’t stop the bitterness that had fueled his anger.

It was easier this way, he told himself. Easier to push her away before she had the chance to reject him. Easier to convince himself that she wanted someone else—someone like Lockhart—than to face the truth of his own feelings.

But the truth was becoming harder and harder to ignore.

There was a knock at the door, and Severus’s heart leapt into his throat when he saw Y/N standing there, her eyes red-rimmed but determined.

"Severus," she said, her voice soft but steady. "We need to talk."

He turned away from her, trying to compose himself, but the sight of her standing there, vulnerable and hurt, made his resolve crumble.

"Y/N, I—" He paused, his throat tightening with guilt. "I’m sorry."

She stepped inside, closing the door behind her. "I don’t understand, Severus. Why are you pushing me away? Why are you so angry with me?"

Severus closed his eyes, exhaling slowly. He couldn’t keep lying to her—not anymore.

"I’m not angry with you," he said finally, his voice low. "I’m angry with myself."

Y/N frowned, stepping closer. "What does that mean?"

Severus hesitated, his fingers curling into fists at his sides. He hated this—hated being vulnerable, hated exposing the raw, aching feelings that he had spent so long trying to bury. But he owed her the truth.

"I saw the way Lockhart was… pursuing you," Severus began, his voice tight. "And I thought… I thought you were enjoying it. That you wanted his attention. It hurt, Y/N. It hurt to think that you could fall for someone like him when…" He trailed off, unable to finish the sentence.

Y/N’s eyes softened with understanding. "When what, Severus?"

He met her gaze, his dark eyes filled with something raw and unspoken. "When I’ve been in love with you for years."

The words hung in the air between them, heavy and vulnerable. Y/N’s breath caught in her throat, her heart pounding in her chest.

"I never wanted his attention, Severus," she said softly, her voice trembling. "I never wanted anyone’s attention but yours."

Severus stared at her, stunned by her words. For a moment, he couldn’t speak, couldn’t move. And then, slowly, he closed the distance between them, his hand trembling slightly as he reached out to cup her cheek.

"I’m sorry," he whispered again, his voice thick with emotion. "I’m sorry for pushing you away. I’m sorry for hurting you."

Y/N smiled through her tears, leaning into his touch. "I forgive you, Severus."

And for the first time in what felt like forever, Severus allowed himself to hope.

[akxmee]

𝗜 𝗟𝗢𝗩𝗘 𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗥 𝗟𝗜𝗘𝗦, 𝗜'𝗟𝗟 𝗘𝗔𝗧 𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗠 𝗨𝗣. //𝐂𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐎 𝐊𝐀𝐌𝐎.

choso x stalker!reader

She was obsessed with her cute neighbour, so she always made excuses to enter his house. He knew it, and still let her in.

14k words.

Tw: creepy things stalkers do, mentions of locking people in, obsession. There's no +18 scenes, only a few heated kisses.

'Choso Kamo.'

That's the name of one of your computer's documents. It was the last among the rest of the files, locked with a password and completely secured.

Why, you may ask?

Well, let's put it like this. Everyone has a favorite thing, don't they? Kids have a favorite ice cream flavour, teenagers have a favorite TV show they always watch no matter what, adults have their favorite company to make deals with... Well, you had a favorite too. It was Choso Kamo, your adorable neighbour who moved in next to your house not so long ago.

He was your favorite person, your favorite hobby.

Collecting photos of him was something creepy and you felt bad for it at first, but he looked so cute playing with his cats in them that you started to enjoy having little albums in your carpet about him. You even dedicated a whole schedule to the man; writing down when he worked out, whenever he ate, when he started drawing as he usually did thrice a week..he was just so perfect, so made for you.

Yeah. If god exists, he made Choso just for you.

Fate has intertwined you two the moment he became your neighbour, you were so sure of that. Not only was he totally your type, you guys had a lot in common!

You two liked cats, you liked the same bands, you both liked the same food, enjoyed the same shows, read the same genres when it came to books..you even started to like crafting too when you first saw him working on something at his garden! Yes, the look on his eyes as he sawed the wood, the sweat on his forehead falling as he drove the screws and the exhausted breaths he left as he carried those heavy pieces into his house drove you head over heels, so now you like crafting too! Not because of the hobby itself, but because choso looked so good doing it that you may aswell like the days he crafts something.

Besides, it was tha reason you were working right now. A lemonade with a refreshing effect, that's what you were making for your hardworking neighbour. You added the perfect amount of ice that you knew he loved, pouring the liquid in a cute vase and heading to his home to pay him another visit.

Yeah, another visit.

You visited his house frequently, always having a excuse to do so. And somehow, he was kind enough to always let you enter! Now you both were in "friendly neighbour terms", but you wished to get even closer. Because you could pat his shoulder, but you wanted to hold his hand and because you could talk to him, but you craved to kiss him. Everything you desired was proximity, closeness, being able to call him withouth making any dumb excuse.

But that was something that required patience and insistence, just how you were being right now.

—Y/N? Is something the matter?

Ah, that sound got you out of your trance. You looked up, finding choso who just opened the door. He looked so damn good, and you melted just by the way his tired eyes focused on your figure.

—Not really. I could hear the saw from my house, so..

He scratched the back of his neck, giving you an apologetic smile.

—I figured you did, sorry. I'm crafting some furniture for my house.

You shook your head.

—No, no! It's okay, I understand. I knocked just to give you this, you looked...—Your eyes analyzed him, fighting the urge to drop any compliment. —..exhausted, and i thought you would enjoy this.

The black haired man looked at your hands only to see you offering him the vase of lemonade. He raised his eyebrows, his lips curved in what almost seemed like a cute smile for a second. He grabbed the vase you gave him.

—That's so thoughtful of you, thanks.

He smiled, you nodded.

—Want to come in so i can give you a drink in return?

That's what you were waiting for.

Choso was always so kind, letting you enter his house for food or games whenever you did something for him. That's his way of payment, since you knew he had issues with money and couldn't afford to pay you whenever you helped him change his lights, shelves or doors (he never asked for your help, however you somehow casually just happened to pass by whenever he was struggling with something like that). You always reassured him that it was fine, but he still insisted on having you over for dinner or lunch.

You smiled.

—Yeah, that would be nice.

He let you in, and you sat on his sofá while he brought something for you to drink. Minutes later he came, sat down next to you and gave you a cup of tea.

—Not as refreshing as the lemonade, but I promise it's good.

He handed it to you and you thanked him as a result. You gave it a sip and a surprised expression appeared on your face. He noticed that and asked:

—Is something wrong with the tea?

You instantly shook your head, resting the cup on your lap.

—Nothing at all! It's just, this is my favorite tea.

—It is? It's my favorite tea too.

He laughed at your reaction, as you smiled sweetly at him. To him, you were a cute girl he had for a neighbour that he could rely on when he needed help with his home or ask for help when it came to baking something for his little brother whenever he would visit and also a great companion he liked to have around since you were sweet and fun, but that's just his impression of you. He didn't know you were as awful as he was when it came to baking but mastered it just for him, he didn't know you found boring changing lightbulbs and only found fun the time spent with him and neither was he aware of the fact that you weren't giggling because you thought he was funny, but because you were so excited about having another thing in common with him.

The evening went great, you both laughed and updated eachother with gossip from your neighbourhood. You were making progress day by day, and you could feel It by the way he seemed more and more casual as the visits kept happening. He was growing more comfortable with you, and you were loving it! Choso talked to you about his brother Yuji, about how life working as an artist was and even showed you some photos —which you already saw, but now that he was the one showing them to you they looked even prettier—, he also asked about how to make Apple pies and more.

But that's not one of the main of reasons you came here for.

—Hey, Choso?

He hummed, taking a sip of his lemonade.

—Could I use the bathroom?

He looked at you, then pointed at the hall.

—The last door, the one on the right wall.

You already knew that, but thanked him anyways and went on your way there. You counted the Doors: one, two..then the third one. That's the one you're looking for.

Not because it was the bathroom, no.

Because it was his bedroom.

You entered the room, checking every corner you never saw through the window. He had a small computer on the desk, a few clothes on the floor, school items scattered all over the sheets of the bed such as a few pencils, notes, papers and more to be seen. Looking at the walls, you found several posters and pictures he made along with photos of him and his family: most of them were with yuji, his little brother, at places like a lake, his first day of kindergarten, at a sleepover...you found yourself smiling because of that, he was just so perfect. You had to capture this place, the place that held the most of his personality out of this home. Just a picture, only to visualize what kind of things he likes or what kind of furniture he's more fond of. You just needed a picture, something to have as a reference to analyze him, and it was as simple as clicking a single button of the mini polaroid you carried in your purse. However, as your hand reached for your purse to grab it...

—I think you're at the wrong bathroom, aren't you?

You froze.

Right behind you was Choso, the owner of the voice, leaning on the frame of the door while looking at you waiting for an answer. You weren't even facing him and you could already feel the grin on his face while he talked to you. Did he find out? Did he know the reason you entered his room? A lot of questions ran through your mind in a span of seconds. You tried to keep calm telling yourself things such as "no, how could he ever know? He wouldn't have let me in if he did" or "it's imposible for him to know I had a camera, since I didn't even get to grab it" and eventually, you had the courage to turn around to make visual contact with him and make up a lie.

—I'm sorry, got distracted in the way.

He kept quiet, letting you continue talking since he was not satisfied with your answer. You turn your gaze to the walls of the room, finding a lot of artpieces he made. You looked at him again, pointing at them with your eyes to let him know what you were going to refer to.

—I just wanted to see them up close. You showed me through photos, but i never thought they would be so...detailed. It's truly beautiful.

He seemed to be taken back by your answer.

—You think so?

—I really do. You're a great artist, Choso.

The black haired male looked like he bought your excuse. He looked actually touched by your lie and you obviously knew why; that's why you chose to lie with it in the first place. Choso was never validated as an artist, being always told that he could do so much better if he studied something like economy or science. Nobody really complimented his art withouth mentioning how it, as good as it is, should be kept as a hobby instead of dedicating his whole life to it because it just wouldn't really make a lot of money. He knew that, but still chose that life ignoring people's words. However, sometimes it was imposible to ignore it and he somehow became insecure when people gave his art compliments, since he didn't really know if they meant them or if they think the same as the rest.

And that's exactly what you knew that he was thinking right now.

—You're not going to say anything else?

He expected you to throw your advice now. He was expecting you to say something among the lines of "it's beautiful, but I personally wouldn't dedicate my whole career to it", waiting for something hurtful like it always happens. He waited and waited, and you finally talked.

—Yeah, I do.

He mentally sighed. Oh, he was a fool for believing that you could be different just because you were his friend. Choso ran a hand through his hair, messing up his bangs a little.

However, you proved him wrong.

—Since you draw so good, could you teach me one day? I really need it for this project at school, so i thought that maybe you...

You kept talking, but he stopped hearing whatever you were saying. Choso's expression suddenly stiffened, he gulped and his jaw tensed as you kept going on something he lost a few seconds ago. His eyes lit up with a complete different light, and he took a few steps towards you.

Noticing his silence and the way he walked to you, you grew worried. You did know that this was a sensible topic for him and already planned how his reaction would be, but this was not what you expected as he looked so intimidating while he slowly made his way towards you.

—I'm sorry, did I talk too much? Didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, you don't have to actually say yes.

He grabbed you by the shoulders with such force you did not expect from him. Fuck, you messed up didn't you?

By the way he was looking at you, yes the hell you did.

That's the least you ever wanted, honestly. Choso hating you for touching some personal topic was the worst thing that could happen to you. You just complimented him, so why? He was frowing, his muscles tense, his body language indicated that he was nervous and his expression showed he was deep in thought. You wondered how did you even manage to get him like that, to get him to shift his personality like that. One minute he was touched by your words, now he was looking at you like you were something new to his eyes.

And you were, he just wasn't showing it how he should've.

Why? Because he never received this type of trait from someone. Something as simple as that, he never experienced it even though he craved for it for so long.

—What are you doing?

He asks you, his tone demanding for an answer.

—What?

You answer, and there's seconds of plain silence until he talks again.

—To me.

That tone.

That soft tone and cracked voice as he whispered with such tenderness, urging you for an answer desperately.

Now you understood, looking up at him and figuring out his expression. His grip on you was not because he was angry, but because he didn't want you to run away from his question. His frown was not because he was angry at you, but because he was trying to figure himself out. His shaky hands and body language was not screaming at you to stop talking, but to keep doing so.

You finally broke him down.

It took you months worth of visits, weeks and weeks of effort to make this man finally see in you what you see in him. You relaxed.

—You finally see it, don't you?

Your hand traced his jawline softly, watching him close his eyes as he leans into your touch like a puppy. This was all you ever wished, to have him like this. If you knew it only took a few compliments, some deep talks about life the nights after you help him fix his garden and making him some food from time to time to make him finally look at you like this, you would have done it sooner. But once again patience is key, so you don't complain now that he opens his eyes and adverts his gaze towards you in such a delicate way.

—I do.

You grin.

—That's good.. that's good. How about you and I, having dinner at a restaurant tonight? Let's get to know eachother.

He hesitates at first but then nods, according to your words.

—Sounds like a good plan.

You already know everything about him, but the idea of having a date seemed so casual and so cute you couldn't help but cheer internally. How would it be? Would he dress and look handsome for tonight? Would you two share your first kiss then? Would he lend you his jacked if it's cold? God, you were so excited! He was just the perfect man, choso had everything you ever wanted and that's all that mattered. It's okay if it rains, choso will cover you from the water. Doesn't matter if your heels tire you, choso will carry you home. It's also okay if you don't like the food at the restaurant, choso will surely share his with you. He actually will, because you know everything about him when it comes to a relationship too. It only took creating a fake account and pretending to be some random girl to ask his exes how he was in a relationship. You had to be informed of what you would be getting into, of course!

They all agreed that the man in front of you was a true romantic, detail-oriented and above all very observant of his partner. Aside from that, the complaints that caused them to break up were each one different from the other. However, when it came to complaints or the reason they broke up, each was different so you didn't have anything to base yourself on.

But oh, you were rushing things again weren't you? You two didn't even have a first date, and you were already thinking about how you would be as a couple! You'll see when the time comes.

—Then, I'll leave and you come pick me up at 9. I'll look pretty for you, so look handsome for me.

He looked at you with certain surprise.

—You'll leave?

—Well, yes. You don't want me to look like this at the date, no?

You signaled to yourself, making him look at your simple dress and face with a casual makeup. You wished to look pretty and have an elaborated makeup to your date, and he seemed to catch up. Choso shook his head.

—That's what I thought. I'll see you at nine, then?

—Yeah.

Yet, his grip on your shoulders didn't cease. You gave him a few seconds to let you go, but he didn't.

—Choso?

He looked to the side, and a slight blush could be seen on his cheeks.

—I'm sorry, you don't have to do it if you're uncomfortable but..can I at least get a goodbye?

Oh, oh.

You were speechless for a second, did he just ask for you to kiss him that politely? Then you chuckled, making him look at you with an embarrassed expression. His grip on you disappeared, and he covered half of his face with his hand for you not to see the shame in his face.

—Nevermind, i'm taking things too far. I'll see you at nine.

He didn't even have the chance to run away from the situation when you grabbed the collar of his sweater and gently pulled on it to get him closer, giving him a little peck on the lips. Choso was the one to quickly pull away in surprise, but soon he realized what just happened and leaned back again for another one since he wasn't satisfied with that little taste. He grabbed cupped your cheek with one hand while his lips collided with yours in a way that you weren't even upset your first kiss isn't at the date. The feeling was almost as if they were giving you something that you have been longing for for a long time, something that you have only had the pleasure of imagining becomes a reality.

Then you pulled away, in need of air.

—That's enough for a goodbye, isn't it?

He looked at you in silence, panting as he catched his breath. Soon after, his lips were on yours again with more intensity than before, dancing a tango of emotions where the music increased with each gasp of air. Eventually his hand found the back of your neck to deepen the kiss, and his tongue explored your mouth with a lot of ease. He seemed to have a lot of experience, while you were left trying to catch up on his rythm.

—Not enough. Five more minutes and you go, please.

He pleaded when you separated before kissing you again. You didn't even have time to say yes, but the way you reciprocated the kiss told him more than enough. Soon enough his other hand found your waist and guided you out of the room, through the hall. His bedroom had this huge window —which you were really thankful for, by the way. It always gave you such a good view of him when you were looking at him through your window—, and he didn't want anyone looking at you two since it was an easy thing to do, so he guided you through the hall to another room between heated kisses with your fingers tangled in his hair. You ended up with your back against the wall while Choso took some keys out of his pocket, opening the door while leaving a trail of light kisses on your neck.

It wasn't strange for him to have a key to a room, since it was a normal thing for people in your neighbourhood to do so since burglasses were quite common so they kept valuable things safe in a room. You guessed he was taking you there since it was a more private area, but you found yourself with a room. Not enough time was left for you when you were thrown on a bed, having choso on top of you while pinning one of your wrists above you. You looked at him, who stared back at you intensely.

—Choso, five minutes already passed..

The man looked at you for a few seconds more, like he was admiring you. He looked absolutely breathtaking, His hair was messy, his eyes half open, his breathing altered, and his lips stained with the lipstick you were wearing. You dreamed so many times of this moment, yet you also wished for the date to happen so you couldn't entertain this more.

—I'm sorry, I just can't help It.

He kisses you once again. A soft tender kiss is left in your lips.

—Now that I have you, i can't let you go.

Once again. This kiss seemed to have more emotion than the rest, and it felt like he was devouring you.

—I can't let you go.

And again. Now, the kiss feels desperate and feral, he was kissing you again and again as if he was an animal.

—I can't. You can't go.

You were getting worried about what he was saying, but when you tried to get your wrist out of his hand a metalic sound was heard. You pulled.

CLANK.

You tried to pull again.

CLANK.

—Choso?

You asked, confused.

His hands left your wrist, and then you saw.

You were chained up to the bed.

He got up from the bed, and you tried to do too. However, you failed and almost fell off the bed due to the force of the pull that the metal gave you in reaction to your quick attempt of getting on your feet. He stopped you from falling, sitting you on the bed once again.

—Shh.. it's okay, don't freak out.

—What do you mean don't freak out? Is this some time of kinky roleplay?!

You tried to pull on the chain with your free hand, but it was no use. He scratched the back of his neck nervous, making a face of disappointment.

—Yeah, I figured you wouldn't like this place at first but don't worry, you'll like it eventually. It's pretty, isn't it? Look.

He grabbed your face and forced you to look around, and you found the least thing you could ever expect from this man. How could you not notice this when you entered? There were pictures of you all over the walls, a map of the city and different dots connected on a cardboard. A lot of your pictures were also on a desk, alongside with little hearts drawn of them. There was a part of one of the walls that was completely covered in drawings of your face in different angles, of your body and you doing some of your hobbies. Anyone that looked at it would easily think you were his muse. A computer was opened on the desk that had different recordings of the outsides of your house, and you were sure all of those pendrives scattered near were just about the same thing.

—It looks creepy now, but I'll eventually clean it. You know, you weren't supposed to come here today..—He, still grabbing your face, made you look at him by raising your chin with the intention that you maintain eye contact with him.—I was still making cute furniture for you to enjoy this place..but then i saw it. I saw what you tried to do.

His free hand reached his pocket, taking out your mini polaroid that was supposed to be in your purse. When did he take it? Fuck, it probably was while you two were kissing.

—I saw that you, deep inside, were just as sick as I am. And i couldn't resist it.

Your jaw tensed, but you still talked.

—Why?

He grinned, and his voice came out in a whisper.

—Because i have been waiting for so, so long.

He smiled at your innocence. Did you really think you were being sly with that dirty, little secret of yours? No, Choso had his eye on you for longer than you did. He saw you at work once, then he grew obsessed with you even if you never noticed him. Seeing you at work was not enough, so he eventually bought a House next to yours as if fate wanted him to get closer to you, and noted how to catch your attention. He changed his whole personality into some shy, cute and fun but still serious with black cat aesthetic boy just because he knew it was your type, and even went as far as creating profiles on social media acting like his exs whenever you, with another account he managed to find, asked about how he was in a relationship. That account was simply "asking for a friend", but he knew better than that. He lied to you, telling you just what you wanted to hear about a perfect boy in a relationship and stupid reasons of the breakup each different from another so you wouldn't think he had any specific red flag.

God, you were so adorable that he could lock you up forever.

Except for the fact that he already was.

—No, you're another whole level of sick. You were so normal, we had a lot of things in common..

—But we do! Y/N, look at me.—he brushed a strand of hair off your face, smiling softly.—We have things in common. We're both so in love with eachother, it's okay..

—No, Choso. You were meant for me..

His smile faded.

—I still am.

—No you're not. You were fake.

You were conflicted. You were sick in the head, but he was just another whole level. While you were happy with having him by your side, keeping photos of him and observing the man, he was locking you in. You had absolutely no right to complain, because you were just a little bit less bad than he was even though you were still guilty.

You tried to fool him, and you ended up being fooled.

—You're in denial, Y/N. Everything I am now I will forever be if you like it, I built myself just for you!

He was growing more demanding by minute, his grip on your face increased and you couldn't open your mouth to reply.

—You liked cats, I like cats too. You like some bands? well guess what, i like them too! You like that damn tea?! I like it too even though it tastes like shit!

He kept screaming, trying to reason with you.

You bit your lip and slipped out of his grasp. He seemed upset at that, but eventually decided to let you be.

You were still too in shock to understand what he did for you, weren't you?

—Fine, do whatever you want..—He moved away from you, leaving you there still chained to the bed. —It's not like you'll be going anywhere soon.

He scoffed, and you felt such a rush of emotions going on at the same time. Every feeling that you may have accumulated towards him during all these months disappeared from your heart as if they were pieces of a puzzle. Each moment you grew excited because you were just about to visit him, each photo you took of him and hung on the wall while you daydreamed of the day you could take one together with him, each moment you replayed in your head every conversation with him again and again before going to sleep...it all vanished. The love you felt slowly turned into a darker feeling that extinguished it until it turned into a kind of repulsion, disgust. You knew that the day will come when you your karma will come for you for having gotten into such dangerous terrain, but you didn't expect it to be this way.

Specially for it to be this man.

The man you idealized so much, the man you thought to be so perfect.

The man you claimed to have so many things in common with.

Well, now you knew for sure.

You did have a lot in common with Choso Kamo.

Author's note: not my favorite fanfic, honestly. It's not edited since it's 2am and i don't wanna re-read, so tell me if you find any mistakes! By the way, new chapter of "dogs and Cats café" will be out next week when i'm finally done with my final exams.

Hope you liked this, I'll be reading your comments 💕

[andy-wm]

his “coming out” should not be in any way shape or form be connected to jungkook. idk why you shippers can’t leave them tf alone when they’re not dating ffs.

[Select.font=sarcasm]

Oooh I am so glad you came here to tell me this, Anon! You are clearly well informed on both Jimin’s life, and "coming out".

I didn't even know that "coming out" needs to be in inverted commas. Thank you for helping me understand.

I also didn't know what his "coming out" should or should not be! I didn't know there were rules for "coming out"! I'm so grateful to have this information now.

I hope you've also told Jimin how he should "come out"?

I hope he listens to you since obviously, you have his happiness at heart.

Because "coming out" with no significant other to support him - and facing the inevitable repercussions alone - that would DEFINITELY make things better for him, right?

Also we all know how much Jimin LOVES being alone, so naturally we should wish that for him.

Objectively, he would be happier if he was single I guess? Because having a secure and healthy long term relationship with someone who loves and supports you is known to be pretty shit. Makes sense... that's why nobody looks for love. They certainly don't write songs about love.

Ever.

People aspire to being isolated, like Jimin showed us this with his song Serendipity.

When he sang "just let me love you" he probably meant he wanted to be single and live alone forever in his bubble. That makes sense.

And of course they aren't dating!

You're right, there's absolutely nothing special between Jimin and Jungkook. They are 100% platonic and good pals.

It would be ridiculous to look at them and see love and intimacy.

I dont know what love looks like, but this is not it...

Definitely not this either.

Just friends here.

So friendly!

Brothers even!

Keeping to the bro code here too, 100%

Absolutely no crossing of boundaries here....

I always caress my friend's clothes when I sing their own love song back to them. Especially when my face is less than a foot from their face. It's very platonic.

Anyway, there's no reason to think they might be dating.

Why would people even think they COULD be?

It's unimaginable.

Society has never ignored or dismissed loving romantic relationships between same-sex couples, and that's certainly not what you're doing. Not at all. You just know they aren't dating because ... reasons.

I'm sure you don't object to Jimin being gay because that would be homophobic (you even know how he should "come out"). If that was the case you might as well just get a tattoo of an L on your forehead and throw away all your Jimin merch because our boy is gayer than a rainbow cake. Gayer even than the rainbow cake his appa has *always in stock* in his coffee shop in Busan.

And if you generously tolerate his gayness, i imagine you will allow that one day he could date (definitely not now, because he probably has no interest in sex. He's too busy working and anyway he has ARMY to love him) yeah, but not now please.

But one day he could have a nice boyfriend who sits beside him on the sofa and smiles benignly and holds his hand like a good boy.

Definitely NOT one that sings about fucking night after night seven days a week, or watching in 3D, or DEAR GOD... the imagery... champagne confetti.

Not someone who sings Sam Smith songs on his Live, or who goes around whacking off fire hydrants in his music videos or miming blow jobs on national tv.

Not someone that demands you see him as an adult who enjoys adult things and wont accept your judgement of him. Not one who puts boundaries in place.

Not someone who (the audacity!) lies in bed naked and begs Jimin to come over.

And that brings us to the villain of our story:

JEON JUNGKOOK

I guess, since you will allow a relationship in theory, you just object to the idea of a relationship specifically with Jungkook.

And I can see why. Jungkook very obviously has no interest in Jimin’s happiness. Jungkook doesn't support him at all.

He doesn't hold jimin when he cries, he doesn't spam us with Jimin content when Jimin has a comeback, he doesn't cook Jimin’s favourite food for him, or fold his underpants while he does his own laundry.

He doesn't take him on trips to Japan, or send thirst-trap messages for his birthday, or play his songs, or sing on his albums.

He doesn't carry him, bridal style, any time Jimin jumps into his arms, and I can guarantee you that he doesn't let Jimin fuck him just the way Jimin likes it, as often as he wants it, wherever and whenever he gets the chance. And vice versa.

They didn't enlist in the military as companions, after all.

So reallly, what would Jungkook even know about Jimin's happiness?

What could he POSSIBLY know about Jimin that you don't know. Nothing, right?

What could POSSIBLY happen behind closed doors and away from the camera, that you don't see with your third eye and your vivid imagination? Again, nothing. You know ALL, right?

[Deselect.font=sarcasm]

I think we've covered everything?

Theres only one thing left to say i guess.

Whoever you are, you'd do well to consider whose happiness you're supporting.

If you don't support what makes Jimin happy, you don't support Jimin. Period.

[l00rem]

Hz ep65 rambles

This is going to be a long post because as expected I am just so incredibly normal about this episode. As someone who has wanted a deeper look into liko and amethio’s dynamic since forever i’ve been fed well. When it was clear Amethio wouldn’t be in this arc much I hoped we could at least get an episode with him and liko somehow but i gave up on the possibility, only for the title of 65 to get leaked which made me unable to sleep that day lmao

I know a lot of people are annoyed it’s taken the series so long for them to have a meaningful interaction but tbh i don’t really mind. The pokemon anime seasons last around 150 eps, and with gen 10 looking further away than most next generations hz might be lasting closer to the dp animes length, which makes sense considering it feels more like a one-shot series that won’t carry over into the next gen. It also just makes sense to me that they haven’t had a chat like this until now because why would they? as amethio says, liko was just the girl with the terapagos to him, there was no reason for him to go out of this way to chat with her and she was running from him because he’s the enemy. This episodes made it clear that their dynamic matters with it being the title, so i’m sure they’ll get a lot more moments from here on out.

Anyway, I absolutely adored amethio’s characterisation in this episode. Going into it i’d hoped we’d get to see his softer side and did the writers deliver on that! I love how it’s amethio who makes the initiative easier to talk with liko, there’s no reason for him to do this and what he said only motivates her (his enemy!!) and yet he most likely sees himself in her and so wants to comfort her as there was never anyone there for him… what he said really reminded me of friede’s words at the end of ep45 as well. I wonder if he could potentially become more of a mentor figure to her later on now that he’s been fired, as friede and roy have always felt closer to me in terms of mentor-student bond so it would be nice if liko got that with someone too.

he’s also the one to reach out his hand, which btw is the first time he’s made any physical contact with someone which wasn’t him flying on corviknight. Of course his hands were gloved, i wonder if he’ll take them off at some point? something something gloved symbolic for vulnerability, taking them off shows his trust and comfort…

The timing of putting Amethio next to Grusha also feels very intentional. They’re both cold on the surface but have better intentions deep down. I wonder if the whole Grusha being happier when he was younger will be true for Ame as well?? I can’t help but think about that Charcadet back from ep57 , which seemed so happy and friendly… He even made sort of a smile in this ep?? I don’t think i counts as a proper one, but his eyes are filled with so much love and warmth that it certainly gives the illusion of one. So, of course, order had to be restored by immediately making amethio suffer right after he finally displays some level of happiness

I find it really interesting how Gibeon seems to be bringing up Amethio’s dad in repose to Amethio showing comradeship with the enemy.

I know a lot of people think Amethio was born into explorers, but my personal interpretation is that ame’s dad left after meeting ame’s mom and decided there was more to life then chasing his dad’s wishes. Perhaps she was also a target for one of his missions but he ended up falling in love with her … (i don’t ship ameliko btw, i think the parallel is more love in general than specifically romance). I also don’t think amethio’s dad is alive, amethio seems to cling to gibeon for some reason so my theory has always been that gibeon killed ame’s dad (perhaps he tried to take gibeon down, now we’ve seen what the eternal blessing can do he wouldn’t stand a chance) and then manipulated amethio under the illusion that he’d been abandoned. And now he’s been abandoned again… Gibeon clearly doesn’t give a shit about him, in ep54 he goes all ‘how long has it been since we met like this?’ which sounds warm, like seeing your grandparent in person after so long… but then you realise that gibeon is literally just a long ass corridor away and could call amethio at any time. he chooses not to because he doesn’t care. ‘special regard’ my ass, it’s all manipulation to isolate amethio into thinking he could only belong to explorers. This also makes me wonder if gibeon didn’t actually fall for spinel’s plot as much as he seemed to, maybe he just knows amethio will get desperate in banishment and will try even harder to reclaim his honour (fucking pokezuko lmao) it’s a very evil scheme in that case, gibeon has been shown to hold a lot of intelligence so i hope it does turn out to be the case or else he looks kinda stupid imo

Another detail I loved in this scene was the others reactions, particularly Sango.

She looks genuinely shocked, I think from her pov amethio has always been this pampered prince whose been given everything on a silver platter, she didn’t realise how fragile his place in explorers actually was. I expected this from Onyx, but it shows a lot of nuance for Sango to feel this way too. Also, I’m a Hamber hater so i’m always gonna perceive his actions in a bad light- i don’t think he was showing genuine concern for amethio, it’s more that he knows amethio’s character better than gibeon and so would know that amethio would never betray gibeon. he saw the torture amethio put himself through in training, and said himself he was impressed by his resolve. Hamber’s concern comes from loosing a valuable asset to his master, not because he genuinely cares imo.

This does make me wonder how Ame and Liko will interact from here on out. I think he’ll blame Spinel mostly, but it wouldn’t surprise me if he’s colder to her next time to make a point to himself that he’s not soft on the enemy. But I hope Liko will notice this, perhaps realise he’s been banished and use this as an opportunity to get to understand him better. She showed him vulnerability this ep, so i hope the tables will turn next time.

I really liked this line too, especially considering liko is a character so centred around empathy. Allow me to speak in my girl who only thinks about umineko voice for a second, but it really reminded me of the core theme ‘without love it can’t be seen’. Liko’s learning that if she doesn’t try to see the perspective of even people who seem to have ill intent, she’ll never understand them. A good lesson for a girl who wants to understand the hearts of others!

Now, as for amethio’s future… Considering his own advice to liko he’s definitely not going to give up like that. He’ll probably continue to train so he can seize terapagos, but in the process will potentially get closer and closer with liko and the rvt. This depends a lot on his situation now he’s been fired- like will he have money? will zir and conia follow him? i get the sense that the writers want to isolate him from them to make it easier to focus on his development (as much as i miss them as a trio) it’d be interesting if they got given to spinel temporality but i’d fear for their safety…

It seems that he’ll be important next arc, i hope now that he’s not in explorers it’ll be much easier to make him show up in a casual setting. I’ve always hoped he’d be relevant in getting Kleavor, mainly bc both Kleavor and Cerueldge have weapon hands so a battle between the two would be cool, especially if he teams up with liko!

Perhaps this is a reach but i’ve been humouring the idea that he might actually form a bond with Carmine.

He is next to her on the poster, which might not actually mean anything… but amethio’s always given me Keiran vibes, i’d love it if she saw keiran in him (especially if he’s going through his emo era) and so wanted to reach out to him as perhaps a way to work out how to approach her brother. It would be really sweet for amethio to get a familial figure who genuinely cares about him, now that he’s in his homeless arc maybe she could take him in for this arc like the sad sopping wet kitten whose been left in a card box in the rain that he is.

So yeah, those are most of my intelligible thoughts that aren’t just me screaming and jumping on the spot. Inevitably this is already my favourite hz episode we’ve gotten so far, and i’m so excited to see where amethio goes from here on out! Please, just let him smile and be happy, he’s suffered enough :,)

[itsblasttothepast]

Do we have any info about Max and Checo before they were teammates? I remember Checo being one of the only people who was nice to Max when he joined F1. Do we have any idea about their dynamic back then? I’m super curious- thank you!

Not so much info, but those who were F1 followers like me remember many things from their dynamic since Max started in F1.

First of all, the whole 'letting a kid join the big leagues' thing. Not many teams/drivers were in agreement of Max, with only 17 years, joining F1, which led to the 'Verstappen rule', meaning: drivers could get their superlicense until they were 18 (Toto Wolff managed to change that this year so Kimi Antonelli could join Mercedes in 2025, but as an anon mentioned it, it was only so he could join pratices, as Kimi turns 18 in august).

So Max joining F1 was controversial, and to be honest, most of the old grid were kind of assholes, and also the reporters didn't help, as they kept asking if they would be 'mentors' or 'give Max advice', which most drivers said NO. They mostly ignored Max, seeing him like a kid (well, he was the youngest), but Alonso and Checo always said nice things, Checo was happy for him (he said this in many interviews, as Max was the hot topic back then) and he wished him the best. He was really nice to Max, and Max usually tended to join Checo and Nico's during the drivers parade or the paddock.

This could be also because Max's teammate in his Toro Rosso era was Carlos Sainz; Carlos and Checo were in friendly terms, as both were hispanic (they are not anymore though, such a shame), and that kind of made easier for Checo and Max to interact.

When Max was promoted to RBR and Carlos went to another team, Max and Checo mantained a nice relationship, even friendly. Something I kept noticing in several interviews around the paddock was that Max seemed to always look around for Checo (these are more my deluded impressions, but I've seen a few edits where I'm proven sort of right) and they kept laughing and having fun, so I'm pretty sure their dynamic was friendly and positive before they became teammates, and then they became boyfriends, divorced, took couple's counseling and now here we are!

I'm asking permission from a girl who makes the BEST edits in FB, so I can share them here, those will prove my point even more.

But until then, here I leave a few pictures to show how amazing their chemistry is:

Look, Maxie next to Checo, instead of his teammate! ⬆️

Here when Nico and Checo completed their 100 races, and celebrated, Maxie was next to Checo but Daniil Kvyat kind of got in the way.

Sorry if this one has watermarks, but I had to share it, look at their smiles! So adorable!

Like this one!

And I have many more, but I'm saving them for my ENOURMUS rant about Chestappen that an anon asked me like two weeks ago. Anon, I haven't forgotten, but I have so many rants, pictures and theories, that it's taking me a while.

[lacrimosathedark]

I'm honestly surprised there's not many "Lilith returns" au Radioapple fics. Especially taking into account the proliferation of the "Lilith owns Alastor" theories. Because that is SO INTERESTING.

I love Lucilith and Radioapple both and how they'd clash would be interesting. Especially with Lucifer's long, long, long history with Lilith, her being his first love and the mother of his child and at least at one point they were a genuinely happy family.

Like, are Lilith and Alastor contentious or friendly? Are they allies against Roo, or is Alastor her pet? Does she hold affection or malice for him?

And what does Lucifer do? Does he ditch whatever he's building with Alastor and try to win back Lilith's love? Does he awkwardly try to stay on the sidelines away from her? Does he try to befriend her and build a stable platonic relationship with her?

Does Alastor try to avoid her, or does he act the perfect gentleman? Is Lucifer upset by Alastor seemingly charming his ex-wife? If he is, why is he upset? Who is upsetting him? Who is he more afraid of losing?

If Alastor and Lucifer are together in some way, does Alastor become territorial? Is he angry at the thought of Lilith laying a finger on him? Does he lash out or keep himself locked away behind his smile?

What if one of them is spending a lot of time with Lilith in her room? Like, they aren't fucking, obviously, she'd have plenty of reasons to want to speak privately with either of them, but it would look kinda sketch.

How would the other feel about that? Would Lucifer be doubly heartbroken, thinking both people he's loved are spending time together and not him? Would Alastor figure he's losing Lucifer to Lilith and becomes violently cold?

If Lucifer learns Alastor and Lilith are working together, how does he feel? Betrayed because it's Lilith? Betrayed because Alastor never told him? Afraid for Alastor being in a deal? Scared for what it all could mean for Charlie?

How does Charlie feel about it? Because I kinda feel like she might support Lucifer moving on if he seemed genuinely happy and it's been so long since he'd separated from Lilith, but having Lilith come back, would she change her mind and want her parents back together, especially now that she's rebuilt a connection with Lucifer? Or would she try to mediate, want her parents on good terms but not together? Would she be torn? How would she feel about everyone's reactions?

What about everyone else? How do Niffty and Husk feel about Lilith if she owns Alastor? How suspicious of her is Husk? Does Rosie know about her?

Just, so many ways to spin it and almost no one is doing it. I wish people would.

[chloe-skywalker]

Propersituations - Robb Stark

Part 1

(1/2)

Rob x fem!reader Targaryen

Warnings: GOT

Word count: 810

Summary: Y/n and her sister Daenerys have decided to possibly help Robb Stark with his war. But will he accept the terms?

Authors Note: I really love this concept and will probably do more like it in the future.

Masterlist

Game Of Thrones Masterlist

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Taking another piece of land from the Lannister army wasn’t easy. Espeacially when Robb found himself on his back with a sword coming down towards his chest, ready to impale him.

When suddenly out of the blue a sword stuck out of the soldiers chest. As he fell Robb stood up and noticed his savior was a woman on horseback. He gave her a nodd of appreciation and she returned it. After the exchange the two continued to keep fighting.

Once the battle was over and the North had taken more territory Robb looked around searching for the woman that had saved his life.

Upon spotting her he noticed that she was actually heading his way on her horse. Once she was infront of him Robb nodded in thanks from earlier. “Thanks. I owe you my life.”

The woman smiled down at him. “Just win the War young wolve.”

“Who are you?” He asked stunned by the woman infront of him. She saved his life and she was stunning in her beauty. Why was this gorgeous woman on the battle field.

“Y/n. Y/n Targaryen.” Y/n spoke as she got off her horse. That’s when Robb noticed the small baby dragon on her shoulder.

“Targaryen?” Robb questioned shocked at hearing the name that was thought to have been extincted till as of late. The hair and dragon were shocking factors as well.

“Yes.” She nodded in confirmation, as she got off her horse gracefully. She was sure her name in Westeros was mind blowing.

“Explains the hair.” He joked with a friendly smile.

“And your a Stark. Explains the Direwolf.” Y/n teased back smiling at his nice break of the ice and lighten the mood. The way she smiled towards Greywind told Robb she truly wasn’t afraid of the Direwolf. But then again she had a dragon, why would she be afraid.

“I’ve heard of your sister. And you.” Robb said as the both of them walked throng the once battle field.

“Most have.” She commented looking around at all the remains. Most seemed to be lannister army whihc was good for the North she thought.

“Why’d you save me?” Robb asked her stopping the both of them from walking. He knew she wasn’t there when the fight had started. She must of shown up in the middle of it and decided to help out. It seemed to him that she had brought some men of her own with her. So was her intent to come and help? Why was she here? Last he heard her and her sister were across the sea.

“I’d like to help you win. Become King of the North.” Y/n told him flat out her reasons. Y/n had heard of what was going on in Westeros where her and her sister were. She wanted to help.

“In exchange for?” Robb knew that couldn’t be it. There had to be a motive, something her and her sister would get in exchange.

“Smart of you to assume there’s a catch young King.” She smiled proudly at his quick mind. “My sister wants to take her rightful spot on the Iron Throne. I hear you don’t want it. So. My propersituation is you stay King of the North, but under my sister Daenerys.”

Robb listened ti her propersituation and it wasn’t a bad one he’d admit. But what else besides the North would he get out of this?

“An what do I get out of this besides the North?” he questioned curious to know it there’s more.

“We help you wim. We have the numbers.” y/n told him clasping her hand together infront of her. She could tell he was skeptical and she would be to.

“How do I know you and your sister won’t turn on me and mine?” Robb narrowed his eye’s watching her carefully to see if her body language would give anything away. But she seemed completely open and honest.

“We don’t break our promises to people but if you wish to have a more solid agreement. What do you propose?” She offered this opening to bring trust between them. If he came up with a reasonable thing to add for this to work then Y/n could hopefully make it work.

Even thought it was Robbs idea to add something for a better, stronger Alliance, but he didn’t have anything off the top of his head. “How about you stay with us for awhile and we can discuss it?”

Y/n smiled giving him a nod of thanks and respect. He’d rather think of a good agreement then something on the spot. “I’d be honored.”

Robb nodded back with a matching smile. “The honors all mine.”

This way they could come up with something together that they both agree upon and he could get to know her.

Taglist: @gruffle1 @padawancat97 @misspendragonsworld

@starkleila

[bengiyo]

saw ur recent post! can u break down ayan from the eclipse? 😆

Ayan is a difficult character to talk about these days, I fear. I struggle to discuss many of the characters from branded pairs anymore, because it often feels like viewers project their feelings about the pair onto their characters. This is even worse with fandom memory, because FK weren't as big a deal during the initial run of The Eclipse. This came to a head during Our Skyy 2.

How I feel about this character

I have complicated feelings about Ayan. I love that he's a queer character fueled by grief and spite when we meet him. Despite his awareness of social and political issues, his concerns are not really on the social movements organized by the queer people around him. Instead, he's focused on investigating the death of his uncle and getting revenge. I did enjoy that much of his arc involved mirroring some of what his uncle wen through in falling for a deeply closeted mess of a man.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

Honestly, just Akk. I could make jokes about how it might have been interesting if he'd gotten involved with Thua or on of the World Remembers Gang, but he didn't hate any of them. He's a mess of a man, and it makes sense that he would hone in on Akk after seeing Akk attempt violence against other queer people. I think their work in Our Skyy 2 made me appreciate how these two could maybe work long term, but damn do they have a ways to go.

My non-romantic OTP for this character

He didn't really have friends, right? Like he ends up befriending Akk's friends, but he didn't really connect with anyone else in a way that felt like bestie potential. You can't say the other prefects because they're Akk's friends. You can't say Thua because he threw them right under the bus for their hypocrisy. You can't say the World Remembers gang because he wasn't with them in the streets.

My unpopular opinion about this character

My unpopular opinion is that Ayan is a bad activist and a keyboard warrior at best. He's quick to prioritize his own relationships and goals over the work of the movement, and I ain't about that man or his cop boyfriend.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

I really wish we'd seen Ayan connect properly with the World Remembers gang. He was friendly to them, but he wasn't with them. I'd like to have seen him complete more of the work of the back half. His growth as a political gay felt stunted by some of the behind the scenes issues plaguing this show.

For the Character Breakdown Ask Game

[the5thcellar]

I actually think Luke is serious about A. That age gap is typically what men marry these days. I think he's crazy about her and was taking it slow after a long term break up before going official. That shows intention, planning, and wanting her. I wouldn't be surprised the official IG couple post is coming soon.

I'm just upset that they took it this far with promo. Tom and Z were meeting each other's family outside of work early on, so to say you are officially brining him to meet the fame was a bit much. Closing your eyes when she touches your face? Grade A acting. I hate that it makes me believe he was never attracted to an amazing woman like Nicola. I feel dumb for falling for it all. I hope Nicola finds a handsome guy who will love her proudly.

that's a really interesting take tbh! ive actually never considered he was serious about her in the sense of marrying - but of course this is purely based off the vibes I get and is entirely my own view.

one of the reasons i say this is because luke doesn't seem too inclined to keep a completely friendly distance between himself and nic - i heard that the QC leads india and corey were shipped really hard by fans as well and he had a gf during the whole press run - and towards the end india and corey started posing separately on carpets (i.e. no touching, no friendly hand around shoulder even during photos etc) because they wanted to emphasise that they were really just friends.

luke in contrast seems to have no qualms about blurring lines - and one of the reasons the more rabid fans kept insulting Antonia was a direct result of the fact that he kept stating his "single" status to press. I think he could have helped Antonia avoid a lot of the flak she drew by just stating that he's seeing someone. but maybe he felt it would draw even more attention to his private life and her? idk. i don't want to puzzle over his motivations because I don't believe they are too complex - I've said this many times before and I'll keep saying it - no matter how good a man seems (and I do believe Luke is very good and sweet), trying to justify anything they do is still a sure path to disappointment.

more importantly: please don't feel dumb for falling for the hope that nic and luke could be together! i really don't think they were being deliberately disingenuous - i actually think the opposite - i think they themselves are often confused about what they really are and it's just easier to define it as being great friends. it's strange but i get the feeling that they see each other as a source of potential - it's simultaneously impossible and also the easiest thing in the world for them to envision a reality where they're together - there just seems to be many barriers to it happening for real. they're comfortable living in the liminal space between great friendship and great romantic love - it definitely explains why nic said she doesn't have a relationship in her life that's anything close to what she has with luke. I think there just needs to be a decisive push for them to ever move out of this grey area. it'll have to be something massive for it to ever happen... and it's not something I hold out hope for (again, just to avoid disappointment!)

this got really long; I wish nic and luke all the best and I think they have something very special with each other. I think life has many many stops along the way and I don't think luke has found a final stop in his romantic journey with antonia - they are both very young and they don't have the vibe of "together forever" couples - if they did (since luke is such a big believer in love at first sight) - he'd have laid down a commitment a lot sooner.

again I want to emphasise that this is all MY POV - it's the vibe I get. I'm WELL AWARE I don't know these people irl. There's always criticism of how parasocial fandom and stan behaviour are but I think most fans - myself included - are very conscious of the fact that the way we perceive and interact with celebs is completely one sided. I'm also not a psychic or clairvoyant or anything of the sort. i just strangely feel a lot of things all the time and ive never been chill a day in my life 😂

sending you lots of good feelings and healing - I feel your hurt and unease and disappointment because I feel the same, but it gets easier to accept with each day that passes.

[citrus-writing]

Hi!! I’ve got some thoughts about yandere!Neon x nen-user + bodyguard!Y/N that I wanna share with you

It all started with something like: "She’s pretty, I want her to be my bodyguard!" Yeah, she liked Y/N just as a "decoration" that’d look good next to her.

Later, she wanted Y/N to be her friend. Moreover, it was important for her that it was Y/N who first suggested that she go beyond the relationship of “bodyguard and boss”.

Neon is spoiled by her father. She gets everything she wants, so maybe she’d think that Y/N's favor can be bought with expensive gifts. Her first gift was new clothes, because according to her, Y/N's old clothes didn't fit her at all! One of Neon’s last gifts was a ring with beautiful pink gemstone (Neon’s got the same, but with gemstone of Y/N’s eye color).

After some time, her sympathy grew into an obsession and a desire to be the only one who owns Y/N's heart and mind. Neon's father burdened Y/N with more and more responsibilities, which led to Y/N starting to feel like a maid(wife) rather than a bodyguard.

At this point, it's too late to try to get rid of Neon. Now she will never let go of her beloved Y/N!

If Y/N already have got a lover, Neon’ll ask her father to kill them.

Also, I think Neon is romantic. I'm 100% sure that if she falls in love, she'll be like Illumi in some way—it'll be important to Neon that Y/N acts according to her vanilla fantasies. However, the punishments for long-term "disobedience" will be her tantrums and scandals. (Also Neon's wishes are much more obvious than Illumi's XD).

I’m sorry for mistakes, eng isn’t my first language and I was a little nervous while writing this

Thank you so much for sending this in, it was a joy to read! I was so inspired I had to sit down and write something out immediately before my thoughts got away. Please don't be nervous to send me things! 

You’re 100% right about neon, her spoiled and bratty nature makes her a doting and controlling yandere who needs constant attention from her beloved darling.

 I may actually write some more stuff for yandere neon, because I think she’s perfect for it. 

------------------ 

I’ve always loved the idea of neon falling for someone who works for her, either as a bodyguard or a maid, it feels natural that someone like neon- who is always surrounded by people she could be considered above- would fall for someone who works for her and who is paid to put up with her. Because she has so few friends, or even people who care about her, I can imagine her getting attached fairly easily. 

Afterall, you’re a breath of fresh air to her, as you're likely not involved in crime or the mafia, and you're brand new to her life. She sees you as somewhat innocent, not unlike herself, and she wants to protect you, no matter how strong or capable you are. To neon, you're a kind person, and people like that need to be protected and looked after. 

I imagine working for neon would be draining; she totes you around like your her newest handbag, showing you off to anyone who will listen, eagerly dressing you up in outfits to match hers, eagerly buying you gifts, even when you say you don't want them. She insists you be with her constantly, throwing tantrums if you try to take days off. 

Her presence is suffocating- but some part of you still feels bad for her. Neon is a girl who is treated like an object by everyone around her, and because of that, you feel sympathy for her. Sure, she’s spoiled and bratty, but deep down she’s a nice girl with a big heart- you’ve seen firsthand how loving she can be towards those she cares about-- even though you haven't seen the half of it yet. 

Despite neon being your boss, it’s possible you may actually start to see her as a friend- even with her obsessive tendencies, neon can be very sweet and endearing, and it’s possible she may win you over by being friendly with you. She buys you gifts, expensive things she knows will impress you, but you're more impressed with how she always seems to know what sort of thing you’d like- it’s like she knows you better than you know yourself. It’d be creepy if the gesture wasn't so kind. 

The ring neon gets for you is beautiful- pink gemstones that glitter in the light, but you feel you can't accept it, afterall, this must have been expensive, and it was more so the kind of thing you would buy a lover than a friend. But neon insists it’s fine, that she bought it just for you and she wants you to have it. How can you say no? It takes a couple days before you notice she wears a matching ring on her hand as well. 

Neon is a lot like illumi, in several ways. 

First, they’re home lives are a little bit similar- both coming from families involved in crime, both possessing nen abilities, and both being rather wealthy. 

Another way they’re similar is the desire to make you a part of their family- both neon and illumi would desperately want you to like and get along with their families. They both share a fixation on the idea of marriage, neon’s gifts of matching rings is the first hint that she desires to be your wife. 

Neon craves a domestic life with you, one where you can truly love her as she’s come to love you, one where your days are filled with nothing but each other, as are your nights. She wants to spoil you and dote on you, and any refusal of her wishes is met with tantrums and fits. 

So just play along with her, it’s easier that way, and deep down, you know that. 

[exhausted-archivist]

Early Game First Impressions

I have some thoughts and critiques about it from at least an early point.

So far, being 28 hours in (and I just got my 4th companion so the time I've been in the game isn't really indicative of my plot progress) I have some general thoughts. None of them are spoilers, but to be safe, I will keep them below the cut.

Please note, these are my first impressions. I'm doing a mostly blind playthrough and I'm mostly sharing to start a dialogue but also document my feelings. Please be respectful of that and others who may comment. Also my comments on armor/clothing is going to be a whole seperate kit and kaboodle.

My main focuses based on priority to me:

Combat

Flashing accessibility issues

The Bloom effect

Character creator

Photomode

Writing (General)

Dialogue and Banter

Maps and Quest Guidance

Food Lore

Combat, Accessibility, and Bloom Render

So far my biggest complaint is related to the combat. In terms of general enjoyment, this is one of the most enjoyable combat systems in the series for me. The flow is nice, I like the UI, overall a solid 7/10 for me. Except for one thing: I hate button mashing, I cannot handle it for too long, it is a large part of the reason I've never played through dao again. I found that da2 and dai really found a nice middle ground with it. But with datv, the issues are that if I press and hold, it will charge attacks and not continuously fire them off like in the previous two games.

I also don't like how frequently my companions bark at me in combat. Lucanis yelling "Move Rook!" while I'm stuck in a corner or something has thrown off my timing and is also just kinda annoying at times. Something I also don't like when I'm trying to explore but more on that later.

Additionally, I find the rebinding of keys is way too restrictive. It is hard to find a calibration that works, it doesn't solve the button mashing, and it isn't any better for mouse and keyboard. The fact that (at least last time I tried) I couldn't rebind the keys from ASWD to the arrow keys is a huge miss to me. So, while I find combat engaging and fun with a nice flow, button mashing and the key rebinding for combat are a big con. Particularly from an accessibility standpoint.

Speaking of accessibility, while the accessibility for the game is robust (but for some features an okay attempt for a first attempt) not being able to adjust the flashing rendering is the second biggest. That is a major accessibility thing and one of the bare minimum features I've come to expect in most games. Now while at present it hasn't been too bad for me since the prologue, I do not know if it will be an issue again later on. The flashing paired with the way the bloom renders, makes the game very migraine triggering if I'm not careful.

So on the note of the bloom, it is another big con for me because it messes with my eyes. While I can remove it in photomode and see what it looks like without it, I think it could have done with less bloom and still looked good. I do like how it has an almost Dishonored texture rendering to the people. I am curious if they pushed it a little harder if it would be more interesting visually and make the bloom more effective. Not only that, but I see the vision, I appreciate it, but not really friendly to me. Which is okay, to be clear. This is one of those things where the vision is great, the execution might not be universally loved, but it is good. Sort of like Arcane (though not to that level), I will never be able to watch it because of the flashing. But I know it is still an amazing show.

Character Creator

Now, in terms of the character creator I think they could have pushed things more. I'm over all very impressed and I love what they did, the variety and extremes you can push are amazing. From a technical standpoint it is gorgeous, and I overall rate it 8/10.

On a minor point, I do wish we could adjust eye size/shape independently of the head morph as well as change the mouth shape. I also wish there were more extreme limits to the body morph. While there is an okay range for what we have, I do wish I could make a heavier set character than I have, whether they're more muscular defined (think Bull and his almost barrel chested build) or someone who is just heavy. But I also wish I could make someone who looked like Isabela in da2 proportionately. I do get some of the criticism that cropped up, though I think the way most of it was presented/worded was exaggerated because the bust and glute sizes weren't "hollywood" style.

But my biggest issue with the cc is there is not any true dark skin tones. They do not go dark enough, they get close, but I couldn't make anyone who looks like several of my family members or oc skin tones I have. This is a major con for me, because they were heading in the right direction and then fell disappointingly short. I think it likely has to do with lighting, to which I seriously think they need to work on learning to how to light darker skins. I think they also need to learn how to make and layer darker skins. They have the basics down, now they need to push it further.

I also have to speak towards the fact that it seems with the bloom rendering and this art style, they did not push things hard enough to allow us to play older characters in appearance. And because all non-important npcs are made with the same cc as rook, we are pushed to having a very small visual age range for the game. Wrinkles do not appear well or strong, and it is disappointing to say the least. It has always been a weak point in Dragon Age.

Connected to these two points, but on a much more minor note, I think having complexion cover skin texture, freckles, dark circles, birthmarks, and acne was too much. They should have had 2-3 selectors for that - and this might be a rendering, technology issue. But not being able to be freckled and wrinkled or have dark circles, falls short, and it especially impacts being able to create an older Inquisitor. This also touches on the imbalance of which they aged femme presenting characters vs masc presenting characters, but that is another post.

Moving onto the last point I have thoughts on, is the hair. While they definitely improved in the hair options, they still lean heavily one way or the other. Especially with the offset of non-qunari getting 88 hairstyles and qunari getting 33. While we no longer have 50 shades of bald, and they heard our thoughts on hair and horns being connected for qunari, the large gap between the two categories is unfair. Especially given the fewer textured options for qunari and the even fewer length variations. It also looks like some were removed from what we saw during marketing. I've also seen the call for bangs, while they aren't something I usually desire I do agree the few bang choices are a notable.

Photomode

I'm going to be blunt with this one as it is the most cosmetic of them all, I feel like there could have been more options. I love we got it, but it's pretty bare bones comparatively with others we get.

I think looking at Horizon (Zero Dawn and Forbidden West) would be a good reference for a strong photomode. CP77 if they went further. Being able to add different effects/filters or even remove some depending on where you're photomoding would go miles. Being able to remove dead enemies (that you didn't kill) would also be nice. But I think the biggest thing is the limited range that the camera can be from Rook. It likely has to do with rendering range, but I think they could have pushed it more. That's all. I've been living in photomode though, using it near constantly to be honest. Just a qol thing.

The Writing: General, Dialogue, and Banter

Off the bat, I find the writing of this game to be the most Dragon Age between Inquisition and The Veilguard. The series has always been campy and quipy. It is the same semi-serious stuff I've expected from BioWare. I do think they have improved in some areas, stayed the same in others, and got weaker in some.

One of the things I think BioWare, especially the da team, has always struggled with is hitting the sweet spot that doesn't isolate new players but also doesn't aggravate lore nerds or long time players. DA2 I think is probably the best of the series at that. But with datv, I find points of aggravation with the wording, just like I did with Inquisition when I went to replay it after having started the series from The Stolen Throne and playing all the way through to Inquisition again. I cannot decide if they have gotten better or what, however I do think the glossary is an excellent addition. Even if I argue with some of them haha.

A clear point of improvement for me so far is the line summaries. I find they are better than dai, though there are some misses.

In terms of banter, I think I'm starting to see what people have been talking about in terms of its substance. However, I don't think it is unique to datv. Rarely has banter effected anything outside that moment, especially for da2-dai. I've only played dao once so I don't know if they tied banter into main story more or not. For me, banter not having substantial effect outside the moment isn't surprising, and I don't know if that is something I was hoping would change or not. This one I think might change as I play.

I also get what people are saying about the banter erring on the side of toothless, but I only see that in like comparison to da2 where companions were brutal with each other. I would say it is the same level/as close to dai. But I'm still early and don't have all the companions. So another thing that might change when I play further.

Maps and Quest Guidance

They did a really good at fixing the dai overcorrection of maps from da2. They're compact, relatively easy to navigate, and so far a distinct lack of bears!

Though while they pulled back on one overcorrection I feel in turn that they overcorrected on the guidance/party direction banter in response to the loud feedback of dai not having enough guidance. This touches back on the companions yelling at me while I'm exploring, or the persistent markers and pop ups. While turning off some of the UI/setting elements greatly helped, and I have heard that it gets less demanding further in, it is a con for me.

Delving into maps though, as someone who is fixated on maps I have thoughts and feelings over the area maps as well as the map texutures the display as setting design. So far, I'm dissappointedwith the set design ones. I haven't seen any new ones, they reuse the map released with the Tevinter Nights and then the first Thedas map they've used since dao. Now those aren't inherently negative, but I like maps and I was hoping for more, especially at the beginning.

Food Lore

Okay, I know this is last and I said I listed these in like priority, but this one was a HUGE point for me and I wanted to end on a positive note. The food lore so far is rich, it is clearly done with some thought, there are more varieties, and I am thrilled with what I've seen. It is rich, indepth, they've added a lot more than I thought they would. So far, the location I've found to have the most rich lore is Treviso. With a nutrition specialist and Julia, the fruit merchant who's husband is allergic to alubia carilla (black eyed peas). It is something so small comparitively that makes the world so rich. I've been compiling and collecting, and I have been flooded with people sending me screencaps and dialogue snippets (without spoiling anything) and I am so overjoyed and appreciative.

[doubledown]

Yall already know the drill no MLM fetish people as for minors go while I'd prefer you not to interact I cant control what you do

So this is abit of a specific fic for a certain someone ( you know who you are pooks 💕 )

The reader is Latino with a brown complextion feel free to imagine them in whatever shade you want

The reader will be male and masc terms will be used for them

Some Spanish will be in this used in this fic but a translation with be provided so dont worry about havin to go to google translate

This will most likely be around 2 or 3 parts depending on my motivation

ALSO I HAVE NOT WATCHED THE MOVIE so uh if its not like canon him I'm sorry 🧍‍♀️

Degration, Hook up, Hand job, Public Sex, Cheating, S_lf h_rm ( not described implied tho ), HEAVY Voice Kink

HEAVY on criticism. Trying out a new writing style since I noticed that the one I currently due really doesn't stimulate my brain enough which leads to writer's block. SO YEAH LMFAO HAVE FUN ( P.S THIS WAS SO FUN TO WRITEEE AND IT IS KINDA LONG SO SEAT BACKK AND ENJOYYYYYYY )🧍‍♀️

-------------------------------------------------------

Your mama says I'm a fool

And yeah, maybe that's true 'cause I can't

stop thinkin' 'bout you

I'm tryin'

I'm tryin' not to forget my words

'Cause when I'm around you, I tend to keep

changin' my mind

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Miguel murmered as the smell of heavy whiskey and cheap liquor crowded around him. He wasn't a drinker at all. He hadn't even thought about it. Well.....not until today. Everything was just going to shit. So he figured he drown himself in something other then self destruction and exhaustion. At least this would kill his worries for awhile after all what's the point of multiverse travel if you couldn't do somewhere where you were unknown? A place you could simply escape without anybody finding you or judging you for your actions. Nobody to put a strong and dominate front for. Just simply unknown and out of touch. " What's on your mind to drink tonight? " The bartender asked abit of a friendly smile on his face. Miguel honestly didn't know what to choose so he just said the first brand of liquor that came to mind. " Just a few shots of fireball.." He said resting his arms on the bar. " Alright hot shot your drinks will be ready in abit. " The bartender said quickly soon off to go take other orders while simultaneously making drinks. He couldn't say he wasn't impressed in all honesty but he had seen it done by failedly by parker. He always tended to try things that really didn't suit him. The bartender looked up and Miguel heart almost sunk in his chest when he spoke. " Buyin a drink or did ya miss me y/n? " The bartender asked leaning over the bar giving a peck on the lips to you.

He couldn't look. He wouldn't look. Yet the gentle rumble in your voice was something that always had a hold on him. " Why not both? " You teased catching onto your lover's lip in your teeth before letting go with a smirk. " You know what I like cariño. " [ darling/dear ] Cariño. Cariño Cariño Cariño Cariño...Even after years away from each other the word still made him his heart burn. Just the way your accent just drove him mad was something that he couldn't even begin to explain. Yet he knew it wasn't his place to feel that way nor right. You two were seperated now. But he wished that things had gone very differently.

" Miguel......Surprised to see you here. " You said your tone neutral but he could feel the hiss of anger in your eyes. You two broke up on a rather...messy note. Things were just too much and miguel wasn't excatly helping with being fuckin spider man and shit. You didn't- No. You couldn't do it. You weren't gonna live in fear that somebody may one day hurt you because they may have followed him home or some shit. So you suggested he retire from doing the whole superhero thing. And he didn't at all take it well. The two of you argued about it for days which turned into weeks. Things were said and one thing led to the other and soon you two weren't even remotely related anymore. He choose people he didn't even know over you. And it stung like hell. But you moved on and forward. And to see him in such a low state....it....it messed with you abit. It brought back some things that you really wished you had buried lower..

" Y/N. It's nice to see you again. " He said with a small smile. You had always been rather...eye pleasing to put it appropriately. Everything just fit so perfectly on you. Every feature on your face to every hair on you head was completely and utterly put together so...Intoxicatingly. And your voice....fuck your voice.... " Ah Im guessin you guys have past? " The voice of your lover pulled him away before his thoughts had a chance to tip off. " Yeah. He's an old friend. " You said simply without bothering to look at the other man. You already you tired from work and really didnt want want to deal with your partner gettin all pissy that your ex is here. " Just a shot of jack daniels Mí Corazón. " you purred. [ My heart ] You knew what your voice did to Miguel. You know what you could gain from him just with a few soft I love yous or just simply saying his name the way he liked. He was a slut for words. Literally. And you had no sympthay for him left in you to care. After all it seemed more like a personal problem then anything. Sucks to suck.

You sat down next to Miguel resting you arms on the bar slightly leaning just enough for that slight arch in your back to show. It was wrong you knew that. Quietly seducing your ex while your partner was right in front of you. But after all you had to return the favor. Finding those texts from all those different guys. You wondered how many times he had fucked some guy while on shift. More importantly how many of them were here now. Miguel was weak when it came to you. He always had been. And the way he shifted in his seat when ever you spoke or the way he seemed so dazzedly focused on your features only proved that he still was a little whore for you. But you weren't gonna simply just give him what he wanted. No. That be too merciful. He needed to beg. Like bitch in heat. He needed to beg like fucking him was a need. Like he couldn't survive without you stuffing him full of what he knew craved.

Miguel cleared his throat and diverted his eyes to his drink as the bartender brough back his drink. " I didn't know you were into liquor. " You said with abit of a curious tone. When did he start drinking?? He always had hated the smell of alcohol at least you thought he did. He used to get onto you about drinking all the time goin on and on about how it could mess up your liver and such. Yet here he was puttin his feelings into a cup. Crazy how things change. " And I thought you didn't fall under stress. " He muttered taking drinking it down in a quick motion. He gagged slightly before swallowing a rather displeasing look on his face. " What? The bite too much for you amor? " [ Love ] You snarked a teasing smile on your face. " No. It's just stronger then what I'm used to. " He mumbled clearly embarrassed by his own reaction. The wound between you too was still fairly fresh. Even more unattended then you both thought. The dismissed jab from Miguel only just proved it.

You swished your drink around not even really wantin it in all honesty. It just felt all surreal and awkward having him around. It just didn't feel natural anymore. And you hated it so fuckin much. Your thoughts were brought out by your rather oblivious boyfriend giving you a kiss on the forehead. " Hey sorry to interrupt you in your space but I gotta head out for a bit. A friend from work needs help movin some furniture. " He said with a smile. " Don't worry about the bar ken is already gettin ready for his shift. " He continued giving you a finally peck before leaving. So that's how he did it. He made a lame ass excuse and left before he could be asked questions. Huh. It was the only thought that came into your mind. At this point feelin guilty was out of the picture entirely. After all if he could go have fun why couldn't you.

You leaned up slightly your left hand grazing the other's thigh as he stiffened. He looked at you confusedly and you simply looked at him for permission. You had always been abit of a fan for open things. It obviously took him a minute to realize what you wanted to do and the clear surprise look on his face almost made you laugh. Yet odd enough he moved his seat abit closer to you despite it. " Hm. Seems like somebody missed old times. " You hummed to yourself teasing his cock through his jeans. He shifted in his seat as he rested his hand on his forehead trying his hardest not to thrust up for attention. You slowly but carefully unzipped his jeans and the entire time the poor man was figiting in his seat. " Desperate much? " You murmed loosely as you teased the head of his swollen cock.

He huffed sharply as he shifted his weight toward your as you wrapped your pretty hands around his cock and pumped it at a rather fast pace. A small whimper came from his throat as you stroked him precum dripping as your pace became relentless. He put his head down on the bar ledge his one hand covering his mouth trying so hard to quiet his soft rambles of pleasure. He twitched and pulsed as what seemed like hours to him as his responses simply got harder and harder to hide. At this point he was pratically mind numb with pleasure and being a whiny mess of a man. Yet you weren't done with your pretty boy just yet. Things were simply getting started.

[dreamwritesimagines]

Garden of Secrets [11] - Tuberoses

A.N: Thank you so much for your wonderful feedback and support my loves, it made my whole week, you’re amazing!❤ I hope you’ll like this chapter as well, and please don’t forget to tell me what you think, thank you! ❤

Thanks so much to @theskytraveler​ for helping me with the chapter!

Summary: A gift always has a meaning.

Warnings: Regency era society and social rules, some gender specific language and terms.

Word Count: 4100

Series Masterlist

After a sleepless night, as you watched the first rays of sunlight spill into your room, you were sure of one thing;

Tonight was going to be absolute chaos.

You hadn’t liked attending balls even before all this but now that you and your betrothed had to pretend to be in love for the whole ton to see at the first ball you would attend?

You were more than ready to pretend to faint again just to avoid it.

Of course, you were the only person to feel that way. Between you and Benedict, you were the one who always found it hard to be or even sound friendly, Benedict on the other hand didn’t even have to try for the people to be drawn to him. You were beginning to feel like he could charm the whole room without so much as showing a little effort, so of course everyone was going to believe everything he said, including how in love he was.

Whereas you were going to have to show a lot of effort.

At least the wedding negotiations had been over in a day. Your uncle and Anthony -as the head of two families- had been quick with them and now all you and Benedict had to do was wait until the wedding which your aunt was very excited for.

“Y/N my dearest?”

You stopped dead in your tracks and peeked your head around the doorframe of the drawing room to look at your aunt who was writing a letter.

“Auntie?”

“Where are you going?”

“I told Lottie I would go to the florist with her,” you said. “She wants to buy flowers for her stepmother and the little ones, and for her own room.”

“Ah,” she said. “Did you decide what you will wear tonight at the ball?”

You leaned sideways to the doorframe. “Yes and it’s all ready. Paula laid them over.”

She smiled at you. “And are you very excited?” she asked. “It’ll be your first outing as a couple.”

You took in a breath and nodded. “Uh huh.”

“Everyone keeps asking me questions about you two but they really want to hear the details from you.”

You made a face. “I am aware.”

She shot you a knowing look.

“I know you’re not exactly fond of all that…attention,” she said softly. “And that you’d rather have your privacy until the wedding and afterwards.”

“Is it that obvious?”

“Oh painfully so,” she said with a small laugh, making you smile as well. “You do not have to tell them anything you do not wish to.”

You bit inside your cheek. “What if I wish to tell them nothing at all?”

“Then tell them nothing.”

You let out a bitter chuckle. “Oh of course. And I’m sure they will not insist.”

“Since when what people say to you affect your actions?” she asked and you shrugged your shoulders, biting at your nail.

“I don’t know anymore.”

“You’re in love and you’re getting married,” she said. “Tell them that. And if that’s not enough for them, they can just do what they’ve always done.”

“Which is?”

“Stay curious,” she said, winking at you and you scoffed a laugh.

“I shall make sure to tell them that,” you said as you pushed yourself off the doorframe. “I should go. I’ll bring you flowers though!”

“Oh you’re the sweetest,” she said, pressing a hand on her shoulder. “I’d like that a lot. Now go, you shouldn’t keep Miss Harlowe waiting.”

You nodded and made your way downstairs, then walked out of the house to get into the carriage.

                                                          *

The florist wasn’t very far so when you and Charlotte walked into it, she was still telling you about her latest suitor.

“And Mr. Greenway wanted to know what made Benedict break our courtship, can you believe it? He did not seem convinced when I told him there was no courtship.”

You ran your palm over the lavenders. “Your suitors make me want to stab them, honestly.”

“You and my papa seem to have that in common,” she said. “He keeps saying he does not wish to see me married and leave home.”

“And your stepmother?”

“Mama says I should only marry the one I love,” she said. “Like you and Benedict!”

You dragged your tongue over your teeth, keeping your gaze on the flowers.

“Are you very excited about the wedding, Y/N?”

“Uh huh,” you said before leaning in to smell the lavenders better. “Sure.”

She nibbled on her lip, rocking on the balls of her feet but remained silent, making you turn to her.

“Lottie?”

She bit down a smile. “Yes?”

“What is it?”

“I was just wondering,” she said. “If I could be your bridesmaid perhaps?”

You stared at her before a smile warmed your face, then you took a deep breath, narrowing your eyes in an attempt to look to be in deep thought.

“Hmm…” you said, “I may need to think of it.”

“Y/N!”

You scoffed a laugh and reached out to squeeze her hand.

“Lottie of course you will be my bridesmaid!” you said. “I would like to ask you to be my maid of honor, in fact.”

She let out a squeal and wrapped her arms around you to hug you, then pulled back.

“Of course!” she said. “I already have so many ideas about my gown, can it be pale blue do you think? I really like pale blue!”

“It’s your decision, I really will not mind whichever color you choose.”

“And your wedding gown?”

“I’m not certain yet,” you said after a beat. “There’s still time to think about it—you can buy these by the way. They’re good.”

She made her way to the counter to pay for the bunch, and you grabbed a bouquet of crocuses to do the same. The florist put them into a paper bag and gave it to you, and you both started walking towards the exit.

“You at least must have an idea about what your bridal bouquet,” she insisted. “Do you not?”

“Well I—” you started but then stopped in your tracks to approach the bouquets by the window.

“Aw they’re beautiful!” Lottie said. “What are those?”

“Tuberoses,” you said with a small smile, then leaned in to inhale the scent. “I like tuberoses.”

“Perhaps they can be your bridal bouquet!” she said and you pulled back from the flowers, then looked around.

“Perhaps— excuse me,” you said to the florist who approached you upon hearing you. “How much for a bouquet of these?”

The man stole a look at the flowers, then raised his brows.

“Those are tuberoses my lady.”

“Yes I know. How much?”

He shifted his weight and glanced at your hand. “My lady, I’m afraid I cannot sell them to you.”

You pulled your brows together and Lottie tilted her head to the left like a confused puppy.

“…Why not?”

“You’re unmarried, my lady.”

“She will be married soon!” Lottie chirped happily and your frown deepened.

“How is that relevant?”

“Tuberoses, my lady,” he said. “Unmarried ladies aren’t allowed to smell them or purchase them for that matter.”

Lottie’s hands flew to her face to cover her nose and mouth and you blinked a couple of times.

“But it will be my pleasure to sell them to you once you’re married—”

“I don’t understand,” you cut him off. “Why can’t I buy them now?”

“Tuberoses can awaken certain…urges my lady,” he said. “Urges that are not appropriate for unmarried ladies such as yourself.”

A small, muffled whine escaped from Lottie and you arched a brow, then batted your eyelashes, feigning complete innocence.

“What sort of urges?”

“My lady, they’re not—” he paused. “Not appropriate to think of.”

“Why not?” you asked but Lottie reached out to grab your arm with her free hand, then tugged at it.

“Thank you,” she said from behind her palm and pulled you to the other side of the shop near the door.

“Oh dear God I accidentally smelled it I think!”

“Lottie.”

“So did you!”

“Yes and nothing is going to happen—”

“Charlotte?” you heard a voice and you looked over your shoulder to see Anthony and Benedict by the door before they both stepped in. Anthony went straight to Charlotte and Benedict smiled at you, making your heart skip a beat before you nodded in his direction.

“What are you doing here?” you asked and Benedict motioned outside.

“We were just—Charlie, what are you doing?”

“We smelled a flower we weren’t supposed to.”

Anthony frowned. “What?”

“And now it’ll awaken certain urges.”

Benedict stared at her. “Charlie, what are you talking about?”

“The florist says unmarried ladies aren’t supposed to smell tuberoses and I accidentally smelled them,” she said, making you heave a sigh, looking up at the ceiling. “And so did Y/N!”

“Mine wasn’t accidental,” you deadpanned with a shrug of your shoulders and Benedict repressed a laugh.

“Really?”

“I’m still waiting for the explanation of what urges it will awaken,” you stated, looking around for the florist. “He was not done explaining, where is he?”

“Y/N,” Benedict said, his voice a playful warning and you grinned at him.

“What?” you asked. “I’m in terrible need of explanations.”

“You are in terrible need of taunting someone, more likely.”

“How dare you?” you asked, trying to adapt a solemn expression. “You’re trying to get in the way of true knowledge here, what would your beloved philosophers say—”

“I do not feel any different,” Lottie said, worry still etched in her tone as she lowered her hand and Anthony looked around, then grabbed a flower.

“There you go Charlotte,” he said. “Peonies. Your favorite.”

Charlotte took the red peony from him, a smile warming her face before she bit at her lip.

“You remembered!”

…Ah.

This was interesting.

The realization hit you so hard that it made your head snap up and you stared at them. Now it made sense why Anthony was so furious when he had approached you concerned about Charlotte after your engagement to Benedict. It made sense why he was so gentle around her, it made sense why Charlotte insisted he was the sweetest, it made sense—

He loved her, and she loved him, and you couldn’t tell if either of them was aware of it.

Everyone kept asking how Benedict hadn’t proposed to Charlotte in two years, what you wanted to know was how this idiot hadn’t proposed to her in those same two years.

You forced yourself to avert your gaze and cleared your throat.

“I cannot believe I’m not allowed to buy flowers because the florist is an idiot.”

“You don’t think it’s dangerous?”

“No,” you and Benedict said at the same time and Charlotte turned to you.

“And you’re not worried at all?”

“There’s nothing to worry about except for the lack of logic here,” you stated. “But then again, that’s not exactly uncommon in the ton, I’m getting used to it slowly like a frog in the hot water.”

Benedict’s smile was soft as a fond look crossed his eyes and you shifted your weight, then looked around.

“I’d better go,” you said. “Lottie?”

“Oh I’m coming of course,” she said. “I’ll see you both later.”

You and she walked out of the florist to make your way down the street and Lottie twirled the single peony between her fingers with a smile.

“Y/N?”

“Yes?”

“What do peonies symbolize?”

You stole a look at her. “Love and honor.”

“Oh,” she said quietly before inhaling the scent of the flower and you repressed a smile, then pulled her to the next shop.

By the time you returned to the house, you and Charlotte had spent at least three hours outside, first checking out the bookshop, then sitting at the teahouse. Spending time with her had put you in a better mood as usual, and you had almost forgotten about tonight’s ball until you passed through the door to your house and saw one of the maids carrying your coat for the night. You shook your head, making your way upstairs as you took the flowers into your hand and entered the drawing room.

“Pretty flowers for a pretty lady,” you said, making your aunt turn and her whole face lit up.

“Aw, Clover!” she said, taking them from you before kissing your cheek. “They are absolutely gorgeous my dear!”

You smiled back at her as she gave them to a maid for her to put them into a vase, then turned to you.

“I sent yours to your room.”

Your head shot up. “Hm?”

She winked at you. “Just go there and see.”

You pulled your brows together and walked out of the drawing room to make your way to your room, then opened the door to step inside but as soon as you saw what was on your desk, you stopped dead in your tracks.

Tuberoses.

You gawked at it before slowly approaching the bouquet in the vase, then leaned forward to take in the scent, your eyes fluttering close. A smile curled your lips as you opened your eyes, then tilted your head when the tiny envelope next to the vase caught your eye, so you reached out to open it and took out the small card.

I’d hate to get in the way of true knowledge.

Benedict.

A scoff of laughter escaped from you and you shook your head, then walked to fling yourself into your bed, painfully aware of the smile warming your face.

                                                *

The night hadn’t even started yet but you were more than ready to get back in the carriage and go home already. Nervousness was rushing through you and you desperately needed some fresh air before going into that chaos, so you took a look at the couple of people in the garden making their way to the big house, then turned to your aunt.

“Auntie, I uh…” you said. “Can I wait for Lottie first?”

“We can wait for her inside?”

“Well yes, but—” you cleared your throat. “After Whistledown’s article, people will ask me some questions about the betrothal, so I fear I won’t have the time to talk to her.”

She looked around. “Y/N, I’m not sure…”

“It’s a garden.”

“You’d still be alone.”

“Barely,” you said. “There are people here.”

“My dear, it’s night time and—”

“Lady Thorne,” Benedict’s voice reached you and you turned your head to see him, an inexplicable rush of relief washing over you for some reason. “Miss Y/N.”

“Mr. Bridgerton,” your aunt greeted him with a smile and glanced at you, heaving a sigh. “I suppose you can wait for Miss Harlowe here if Mr. Bridgerton is staying.”

You turned to look up at Benedict expectantly and he raised his brows.

“Yeah I can—I’m staying, definitely.”

You held your breath and motioned at him. “See, auntie? He’s staying.”

She thought for a moment, then clicked her tongue.

“Alright but,” she said, pointing at you two. “No going anywhere by yourselves.”

Benedict held up his hands, gesturing surrender and you shook your head fervently.

“Of course not.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it, Lady Thorne.”

“You’re staying right here in the garden, you hear me?”

“Yes, of course. Right here.”

“We’ll follow this road to the ballroom,” Benedict motioned at the stone road. “Won’t even step anywhere else.”  

Your aunt narrowed her eyes at you two as if trying to see whether you two were lying, then shook her head.

“I will not be able to rest until you two are married,” she murmured and turned around, then made her way to the house. 

“Thank you,” you said, watching her enter the house and Benedict waved a hand in the air.

“Don’t mention it,” he said. “What’s going on?”

“I needed some fresh air before throwing myself into that gladiator pit,” you grumbled but before Benedict could even answer, Lady Anna -one of the ladies you had met when you were presented to the queen- approached you with her mama.

“Mr. Bridgerton!” her mama said. “Miss Y/N! Congratulations on your betrothal.”

Benedict shot her that irresistible crooked grin of his and bowed while Lady Anna glared at you, and turned to smile at him.

“What a hasty engagement though,” she said. “Barely anyone knew you two were in courtship.”

“Oh I was under the impression that everyone did, my lady,” Benedict said. “Thanks to Lady Whistledown.”

She let out a giddy giggle and her mother turned to you.

“Any idea when the wedding will be?” she asked you and you reminded yourself to smile.

“In a month,” you said. “Approximately.”

“I cannot wait to hear the full story from you!” she said. “We will see you inside of course?”

“Of course,” Benedict said and Lady Anna dropped a curtsy, then followed her mama to the house while you let out a breath and looked up at him.

“Get me out of here right now.”

“Way ahead of you,” he muttered, looking around. “Do you see that corner? Far end of the garden?”

“It’s such a lovely garden by the way,” you pointed out as you glanced at the flowers. “Now that you mentioned it. That being said, I feel like their gardener should take a look at the—”

“Y/N, focus.”

“Right,” you said and cleared your throat. “Yes I can see that corner.”

“There’s a bench there, we can go there when that carriage passes by here. You first—”

“Are you serious?”

“Yes I am serious— go now!” he whispered as he pushed you gently, making you repress the laughter bubbling up in your chest. You moved in the same direction as the carriage, using it to shield yourself from anyone else’s gaze before you rushed to the far end of the garden. Just as Benedict said, there was a bench in the dark half covered by the tree over it and you sat down, running a hand over your eyes.

It took a couple of minutes but soon enough you heard the footsteps and Benedict entered your sight, shooting you that mischievous grin and your heart skipped a beat but you frowned at yourself, sitting up straighter.

“May I?” he motioned at the bench and you scooted over to the side.

“Sure.”

He sat beside you and you heaved a sigh, leaning back on your palms, keeping your gaze on the sky before stealing a look at him.

“Do you think we’re actually pushing our luck?”

Benedict raised his brows and shrugged his shoulders.

“Luck pushed us first,” he said. “And honestly what are they going to do? Marry us twice?”

A laugh climbed up your throat but you covered your mouth to muffle to sound, making him smile. You lowered your hand and took a deep breath, your stomach doing a pleasant flip.

“Thank you by the way,” you said. “For the flowers.”

“Of course,” he said, his blue eyes gleaming in the dim moonlight. “Let me guess, you were overtaken by uh… what was it? Desires—”

“Inappropriate urges.”

“Yeah those, you were overtaken by inappropriate urges the moment you smelled them?”

A giggle managed to escape from you this time and you nodded.

“Certainly,” you said. “Still couldn’t get myself out of this ball though.”

“It won’t be that bad.”

You shot him a look. “Yes it will. Didn’t you see them just now?”

“It’s just until another scandal breaks out,” he said. “It’s the social season, I doubt we’ll have to wait that long.”

You pressed your palms into your eyes until you saw shiny dots in the darkness, then lowered them again.

“They’ll keep asking questions and I don’t like…” you trailed off and rubbed at your wrist. “I don’t like telling people things. Lies or not.”

Benedict nodded his head. “Send them my way.”

You scoffed. “Benedict—”

“No I’m serious,” he said. “You don’t owe anyone anything, much less an explanation. If they want to hear about it that much, they can come ask me.”

You tried to ignore the small smile threatening to pull at your lips and turned your gaze to look up at the moon again, still rubbing at your wrist absentmindedly. A peaceful silence fell upon you, the soft night breeze caressing your face and you heaved a sigh.

“Y/N?”

“Hm?”

Benedict cleared his throat. “I um…I got you something.”

You turned your head to look at him and he offered you a soft smile before reaching inside his jacket to pull out a rectangular box. Your eyebrows furrowed as you pulled back slightly.

“What’s that?”

“A gift.”

You eyed the sleek box, your frown deepening before you shook your head.

“No you can keep it, I don’t have anything to give you back.”

Benedict blinked a couple of times.

“I didn’t get it for – that would make it a trade,” he said helpfully. “It’s a gift.”

Your question was nearly a demand. “Why?”

“Because I wanted to?” he said like he was asking you back. “I saw it and thought of you.”

You looked up from the box at him. “What do you want in return?”  

“To repeat, that’s not how it—” he paused. “Has no one given you a gift before?”

You nibbled on your lip and shrugged your shoulders.

“Family,” you murmured and scoffed. “Some of them, that is.”

It’s a trick, a small voice in your said. He’ll want it back once you like it, as soon as he—

“I don’t want anything in return,” his voice cut through your thoughts and you tilted your head, your lips pulled into a pout.

“If you’re going to pull it back when I reach for it, I’ll leave.”

He stared at you for a moment as if he couldn’t tell whether you were jesting or not and he looked like he had a million of questions he wanted to ask, but in the end he decided otherwise.

“How about this?” he said. “I’ll just put it here. If you want you can open it, if not we can leave it here and go back to the ballroom.”

He placed the box between you and leaned back on the bench, crossing his arms as if he wanted to prove he wouldn’t make any sudden moves like pulling the box out of your reach. You hesitated for a second, then slowly reached out to take the box into your lap, then pulled at the ribbon and lifted the cover.

A breath left your lips as soon as you saw what was inside.

It was a pocket knife unlike any other you had seen so far. It was light, lighter than your current one and small figures of flowers were engraved on the handle, tiny rubies glimmering on silver. You flicked the knife, the blade coming out of its place instantly, and even in the dim light you could see just how sharp it looked before you pushed it back into its place, then turned to Benedict who was watching you with a soft look on his face.

“Thank you,” you said, unable to stop the smile on your face. “It’s very beautiful.”

He grinned at you. “I’m glad you like it.”

You pulled your pocket knife out of your cleavage before putting it beside you on the bench, then pushed your new knife into your cleavage, causing Benedict to instantly look up at the sky. You pursed your lips in order not to laugh, then slipped the silk skirt of your gown up your leg to tuck the old knife into your garter, painfully aware of Benedict stealing a look at you out of the corner of his eye. You fixed your skirts and turned to him to see him taking a deep breath, closing his eyes.

“Are you alright?”

“Mm hm,” he said, sounding a bit breathless for some reason and opened his eyes, then cleared his throat. “Yeah. Absolutely. Totally alright.”

A small spark ran down your spine and you arched a brow, tilting your head.

“Any inappropriate urges?”

“So many,” he said, his voice coming out like he was tormented and motioned around in a vague manner. “Tuberoses here somewhere.”

You bit down a smile, then got up from the bench and fixed your gown.

“Come on,” you said. “We should go back to the ballroom, I don’t want to be a part of yet another scandal.”

You stood on your tiptoes to take a look at the garden to see whether anyone would see you together when you walked in there but by some miracle it seemed empty enough. Judging by the music reaching even there, dancing had started already and probably everyone who was invited was already inside, dancing and socializing.

“Right,” Benedict said and stood up as well, then threw his shoulders back and offered you his arm. “To the gladiator’s pit we go then.”

“Should be interesting,” you murmured and placed your hand over his arm, that familiar warmth spreading through you and you took a shaky breath, then you both started walking to the house.

Chapter 12