#there's one somewhere in london so i need an excuse to go on a fucking mission

[leahsgirl]

casual | alessia russo x female reader

was it casual when it turned into more than a one time thing?

this has been in my drafts since july and i’ve only just got round to finishing it. if youse have any requests let me know!

_

you’re trying (and failing) to listen to leah’s tactical breakdowns in the locker room when alessia scurries in, late again. that was her thing these days, along with avoiding you like the plague while at training.

no matter what you did to try and interact with the blonde she’d always have an excuse to get out of the situation. you tried to not let it get to you, but when you go from not speaking to her laying in your bed every week - it’s bound to have its effect.

you look at the striker whose now sat on the opposite end of the room next to lotte and you scoff, annoyed at how a single night two months ago can cause such a rift between you both.

you was at a club, a local one you and your teammates regularly visited when there was something to celebrate - the occasion this time being arsenal winning the conti-cup.

katie and kyra had gone up to the bar to get some drinks while you and the rest of the group found somewhere to sit.

you remember wedging yourself next to beth at the end of the booth, leaning back against the leather as you listened in on the girls conversations. it wasn’t long before the irish and aussie duo came back with a handful of drinks and everyone raised their glasses “to arsenal, and stina for the winning goal!”

the alcohol kept coming and the music was only getting louder, you were sipping at your cocktail that you didn’t bother finding out what it consisted of when there was a dip in the seat. you looked to your side to see alessia, her hair was messy and her cheeks were a dark shade of pink - something that always happened when she got a little tipsy.

“come dance me with meee.” she leant forward so her face was practically inches from yours. you just laughed, “mccabe not a good dancing partner?”

alessia shook her head “i’m third wheeling her and caitlin.” she pointed to the pair on the dance floor who seemed to be in their own world.

you sighed “lead the way russo.” you wasn’t the biggest fan of dancing but you weren’t particularly bad at it either. either way, seeing alessia’s smile when you agree is always worth it.

the dance floor was packed and it was hard to move without accidentally catching someone’s arm or torso. alessia moved with ease next to you, singing along to the music. “show me your moves y/n” she leant in and spoke down your ear. her breath was hot and was enough to send your stomach flipping.

the pair of you danced to the beat, lessi’s arms wrapping around your waist. it wasn’t unusual for youse to be touchy-feely like this - it was a normal occurrence in your relationship, hence why you don’t take much notice when she moves her hands lower, stopping at the small of your back.

“i need some air.” the blonde pointed to the door and grabbed your arm, leading you through the sea of people and out into the cold london weather.

“you okay less?” you ask concerned to the girl who is now leaning against the brick wall. she nods her head and it’s silent for a moment.

you’re about to say something when she speaks up first. “your ex girlfriend,” she says, her voice low. “i never liked her y’know.”

you raise an eyebrow, clearly amused and a little caught off guard. “i know you didn’t,” you reply softly, a smirk playing at your lips. “you weren’t exactly discreet about it.”

alessia looks at you then, her gaze more intense than usual “i’m better than her.” she says suddenly and you’re now confused.

before you can even respond, her hand reaches out and gently cups the back of your neck, she pulls you in and suddenly her lips are on yours.

you’re momentarily stunned, because what the fuck. alessia is kissing you, your best friend, your straight best friend for that matter. it’s enough to make your head spin.

almost instinctively you kiss back, your hand finding her waist as she kisses with more urgency. she’s the one to pull back and you take the opportunity to catch your breath. “your place?” she whispers so only you can hear, aware more people have come outside for a cigarette.

the rational part of you is screaming no, not to give in to her, it’s only going to bite you in the ass. but there’s also that one voice, the one that reminds you that you’ve been hopelessly crushing on the striker since being on the england youth team, the one that tells you she must want you too if she’s asking such thing.

you’re too intoxicated to listen to your moral conscience and so you nod your head and soon enough your in the back of a taxi going back to your apartment.

and that’s how the cycle started. she’d come knocking at your door, most of the times the scent of liquor clinging to her, you’d go to the bedroom and discard clothes, she’d whisper sweet nothings into your ear and kiss down your body like you’re fragile, as if each touch may break you, but much enough tenderness to make you ache for more.

then by morning she’d be gone.

no explanation, no trace that she was physically there a few hours before. almost like she couldn’t wait to get out.

it’s even worse when your at home aimlessly scrolling through your socials and you see clips of her being posted with her holding a drink in hand while sitting on a random guy’s lap whispering down his ear, or when she’s getting too close for comfort with a stranger in the dance floor. you’d always end up throwing your phone down next to you out of frustration, willing at the knots that formed in your stomach to just go away.

it wasn’t until around the fourth time you tried to talk to her about it but it didn’t work. she’d have an excuse or say ‘can we talk about it later?’ when in fact ‘later’ never came.

you’d be lying if you said you wasn’t hurting from the whole thing, alessia was your closest friend, clinging to each other like you was fused at the hip and now you hardly get a nod off the girl.

leah concluded her speech and you got up off the bench, starting to make your way to the pitch for warm up drills.

you’re split into two groups and you’re running with the ball. everything feels normal until you catch a glimpse of blonde hair charging towards you, and before you can react alessia slides in hard. her boot colliding with your leg instead of the ball and pain shoots through your ankle, sending you sprawling on the ground.

“what the hell, less?!” you snap, taking laia’s hand to help you up, the anger bubbling to the surface.

for a moment you catch a slip in emotion from her, a slight furrow in her eyebrow before she’s back to hardly giving you the time of day “it was a clean tackle” she shrugged and ran back to her original position.

“russo, what was that about?!” jonas called from his position on the sideline not looking too pleased. alessia held her hands up in defence “went in too early my mistake.”

the swede shook his head, “be more careful, we don’t want more injuries.”

“what’s goin’ on with you two?” katie asked, appearing out of no where. you waved your hand in dismissal “god knows.”

the older woman looked between you both and hummed, not looking convinced. you can’t even blame her.

it wasn’t until everyone was getting into their retrospective cars about to head home that you was able to take your opportunity.

“alessia.” you hold up your hand for her to wait “can we talk?”

seeing that she didn’t really have any escape route other than to run you over (you’re glad she hadn’t gone that crazy yet) she sighed and leant an arm over her car door as she waited for you to get closer. “what’s up?”

“what’s up?” you mocked in disbelief. “what’s up is that you kiss me, come back to mine for sex” her eyes widened as you ranted, nervously turning her head in all directions to make sure no one was listening. “-make it into more than a one time thing, then ignore me like i don’t exist as well as nearly taking out my ankle.” you point to your foot where there is evident bruising and a small scrape. “it’s confusing.” you confess.

“it was a drunken mistake, i don’t get what’s confusing.”

you’re contemplating if she’s being for real right now because there’s no way she’s believing the words coming out her own mouth. “drunken mistake to the point it’s happened over ten times now?” you scoff at her comment. “listen alessia, i can’t keep doing this. it’s messing with my head, while it may be a drunken mistake to you each time, it actually means something to me and it’s clearly impacting us at work as well.” you feel a crack in the back of your throat and you’re annoyed at yourself for getting this emotional right now. “just figure out what you want before we both get hurt.”

you didn’t bother saying bye, you just turned back around and got into your own vehicle hoping she’d actually listen to you and take your advice.

_

it had been two weeks. well, two weeks and four days to be exact since yours and alessia’s carpark talk, and there had been absolutely no effort off the blonde to communicate with you. you stopped sort of hoping after a week, seeing how she was still giving you the cold shoulder.

one thing that did change though; she no longer rocked up to your place for a late night booty call.

you was at home, letting the warm water cascade over your body and giving you a temporary moment of relaxation. you was just so annoyed with yourself, if you never gave into her a couple of months ago all of this could of been avoided.

tilting your head back, you lathered the shampoo into your hair working through the knots and tangles. it’s fine you told yourself, if alessia’s decided she doesn’t want anything to do with you - you should move on too.

you hear a knock, only a quiet one but enough to kind of freak you out. this is why you hated showering when living alone - always a crippling fear someone’s out to murder you while you’re butt-naked.

maybe it’s just you hearing things, the insane heat and steam in the bathroom making you a little lightheaded. either way, you reasoned with yourself you should probably check it out and wrapped a towel around your body.

there was another knock so you know you’re not going crazy this time as you make it to the hallway. after a few twist and turns of your keys you opened the door ajar slightly.

“alessia?” the blonde was stood on the opposite side of the door sporting mismatched sweats, sunglasses and her hair that looked like its not been brushed in days.

“can i come in?” she sounded weak and your shoulders slumped involuntarily.

you opened the door just enough so she could squeeze in then closed it behind her. you saw how her eyes trailed down your body, a tiny smirk emerging. “nice outfit.”

for a second you forgot you was only in a towel and felt the blood rush up to your cheeks. “i was in the middle of showering.” you subconsciously crossed your arms across your chest. “what is it you want alessia? why are you here?”

the striker shifted her focus to her hands, fiddling with the rings and walked ahead of you so she was standing between your bedroom and living room.

“i’ve been thinking about what you said.” she turned around so she was facing you and moved the sunglasses so they was resting on her head instead. wait, had she been crying? “i’m sorry for being so awful to you.”

you let her continue, “i just- i’ve got all these feelings, feeling about you. and it’s scary y/n. i don’t know what to do with them, like i thought i was straight a few months back!” she said incredulously.

“and now?” you asked gently. you could see this was working her up.

“i don’t know.” she ran her hands through her hair. “i just like you and it terrifies me because i’ve already hurt you enough and most likely ruined our friendship.”

you placed your hand on her arm for comfort “you’ve not ruined our friendship less.” consoling the girl who now had tears welling.

“y/n i’ve been a dick to you.” she deadpanned and you couldn’t exactly disagree because she had been pretty rude.

“at least i know why now though. you’re confused i get it.”

alessia still couldn’t meet your gaze “i care about you, y/n. so much. but i don’t think i can keep pretending im ready for something i don’t understand. i thought maybe i could figure it out, but i don’t think im there yet.”

you stood there in silence for a moment, the reality of the situation sinking in. she wasn’t going to stay. she wasn’t going to fight for whatever it was youse had going on. and no matter how much you wanted her to, she wasn’t going to.

“okay.” you finally said, “if that’s what you believe.”

alessia let out a shaky breath, looking up at you “i’m sorry.”

without another word, alessia stepped forward, her hands gently cupping your face as she kissed you. her lips lingered on yours, soft and hesitant, like she didn’t want to let go but knew she had to.

you kissed her back, your hands resting lightly on her waist, feeling the weight of everything unsaid between you. when she finally pulled away, her forehead rested against yours, both of you breathing heavily.

“i’m sorry,” alessia whispered, her voice trembling. “i wish i could be what you need right now.”

you closed your eyes, ignoring the aching your chest was doing right now as you whispered back, "me too."

she pulled away completely then, taking a step back, her hands falling to her sides. for a brief moment, she hesitated, looking at you one last time before turning and walking toward the door.

as the door closed softly behind her, you stood there, feeling the sting of her absence, knowing that waiting for her wasn’t something you could do—not anymore.

the kiss had been a goodbye, even if neither of you had the heart to say the words out loud.

[jflemings]

— yard sale

pairing: alessia russo x reader

synopsis: you pack up your life and move far away from the supposed love of you life

warnings: just lots of angst

୧ ‧₊˚ 📦 ⋅ ˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚

I put a sign on a telephone pole with the address below I wrote the time and I circled in bold, everything must go

you knew that it was time for you to leave. you and alessia's relationship had crumbled from beneath your feet quickly and mercilessly. one day you two were happy and planning a future and the next you were throwing her out and telling her that you never wanted to see her again.

so here you were, sitting out front of your place with a dingy clothes rack and boxes of all your meaningless things ready to sell so that you could pack up your life in london and get the fuck out.

a pair of young teenage girls hand you some clothes, a pair of shoes and a necklace along with the money to pay. you smile gratefully and put the items in a plastic bag before waving them goodbye, not noticing the figure standing a little bit away from where you were sitting. the head of blonde hair isn't the thing that catches your eye, it's the pair of arsenal trackies she's wearing. your eyes travel from the number six on her pants all the way up to her face where her eyes are boring into you.

you curtly nod and attempt to distract yourself with putting some other shirts on hangers when she slowly makes her way over. leah tucks her hands in the pocket of her jumper and digs her toe in the ground, her head hung low like she’s thinking.

sneaking a glance at her you clear your throat “leah”

“hey” she says surprised like she wasn’t expecting you to see her standing right in front of you “bit of spring cleaning?”

you half smirk and grab more hangers from the box next to you “moving. i don’t want to take everything”

the lioness captain stands up straight “you’re moving? where to?”

“chicago”

“oh wow. so far away”

you roll your eyes “you here to buy something or just to look around?” your patience is quickly wearing thin every moment she tries to make small talk. it wasn’t really like leah, the few times you’d hung out with her in a group setting she always had a purpose for a conversation. it wasn’t that she necessarily hated small talk, she just wasn’t good at it. at all.

“honestly i came to see how you were doing” she scratches the back of her neck “i saw the sign and, y’know”

nodding your head, you smile at another girl handing you money for a black dress that alessia had convinced you to buy when you were her date for an event. it was classy and sleek, and you remembered the feeling of alessia’s hands all over you through the night. you watch the girl go wistfully before directing your attention back to the footballer.

“thanks, really, but it wasn’t needed. i’m fine”

you know that leah sees right through you but she doesn’t argue, instead excusing herself and giving a tight lipped smile to people she passes as she walks back to her car. you watch her trot across the street to her car. she practically throws the door open and slides in hastily, like she had suddenly remembered that she needed to be somewhere.

before she drove off you heard her phone ring through the bluetooth in her car. if it wasn’t so loud you wouldn’t have heard the very familiar ‘hello’ from the other end of the line.

Every perfect memory Stacked in boxes on the street Take what's left of you and me

when leah told alessia that you were packing up your whole life and moving, she almost couldn’t believe it. for three straight nights after that conversation she had laid in bed tossing and turning and trying to convince herself that it wasn’t real, that you weren’t moving thousands of kilometres away from her.

one morning before an early training session she drove past your flat. she remembers how cold it was, and how even her fleece jumper couldn’t stop her from shivering as she turned down your street.

the movers outside your place made her stomach turn. she thought she was going to throw up when she saw you putting boxes into the back of the van with a smile on your face. you were happily chatting to one of the movers and she could tell just by the way you were smiling that you were excited.

the possibility that you were going to be happy without her in your life makes her speed down the rest of your street. she calls in sick to training that day and doesn’t answer leah or kyra’s texts.

leah doesn’t have to ask her what’s wrong when she turns up at her front door later that day. the tears on alessia’s sweatshirt tell leah everything she needs to know.

I tried to call but you didn't call back to come and get you things I thought about just striking a match but it's hard to burn a memory

you had called and texted her so that she could come and get the things she didn't take with her when you threw her out. despite your best efforts to be the bigger person, the striker didn't once get back to you, instead leaving you on delivered and sending you straight to voicemail.

you gave up quickly after that, choosing to pack up your life around the small pile of things that sat in the corner of your quickly emptying bedroom. you packed her belongings into a cardboard box and labelled it ALESSIA, the black marker you used to do so feathering and squeaking.

you packed it into storage with the rest of your belongings and left it with everything you weren’t able to take with you to chicago. you had thought about burning her things, just simply throwing them into the bonfire pit in your small backyard, but you knew that it didn’t matter what you did with her things. the memories would linger.

Every empty picture frame All the shit that I tried to save Name your price, you can have my pain

one way you decided to cope was by taking every photo that you had framed of the two of you and throwing it out.

you balled them up and threw them in the trash without a second thought, not once sparing a glance and alessia’s smiling face as you tossed her away. you ended up donating all the empty frames to your local thrift, and whatever couldn’t be donated ended up thrown out.

every photo was a memory of what once was. each holiday, anniversary and special moment had been captured and put behind glass for what you thought would be forever. alessia had grown fond of decorating the walls of both of your places with photos of the two of you. her entry hall had been a shrine to your relationship and people would often comment how lucky the both of you were to have found eachother.

everlasting love was something that you had once believed in, something that you once treated as gospel. it was hard to deal with the fact that you had suddenly lost belief in it. in her.

It's time to empty out the place (hey!) I used to love but now I hate

you had gotten so incredibly lucky with your flat. rent was a decent price, it was close to work, within walking distance from a quaint little bookshop and it only took lessi six minutes to get from her place to yours.

it was a dream for you, one that you quickly embraced. you made your place your own with small touches of yourself around the place. from the decor, to the furniture, even to the way things were laid out. your place was definitely yours.

slowly but surely you emptied the home you once loved. took down the pictures, sold the furniture and tossed anything that made you think of your ex. you hollowed out your home and carved a hole into your heart, mercilessly hacking away pieces of yourself that no longer fit who you were.

now as you stand with your hand on the doorknob to your front door, the ghost of memories prance through the empty halls and past you like you’re watching your own memories back on a tv.

it hurt to leave but it hurt more to know that there was nothing you could’ve done to prevent you and alessia ending the way you did.

All the love is, all the love is gone

[believesthings]

How Can Anybody Stay The Same? // Ted Lasso x Reader

A/N: A story inspired by the JP Saxe song “Changed”

Warnings: a fuck ton of angst. A lot of mentions of Michelle

Ted had been trying to get used to calling London “home.” He rolled it around in his head, rolled it around on his tongue. The way he figured it, it’s like a new pair of boots. He needs to break it in. And he’s getting there, he can feel it a little more with the passing days.

His story has always been that he took this job as a way to give Michelle the space she needs; and of course, to a degree, it is. But whether he admits it, consciously or subconsciously, he’s also here for himself.

He’s spent so much of his life wearing different hats: Father, Husband, Coach. Each of which he takes great pride in, but in the shuffle of all of it he worries that he’s lost sight of just being Ted. He’s been learning the parts of himself that he never got to know. Being married to your high school love, growing up as a unit, it’s… different. He meant when he said that wouldn’t change a single moment of it. Of course, he did. It was a wonderful marriage and brought him Henry, the one part of his pedigree he could never find fault in. But since he and Michelle were in tandem for so long, it greatly affected his decision making. Every time he had to make a choice, she was his first priority. Number one, always. Then Henry. Then, and only then, after all the facets of their feelings were considered, he would consider himself.

With London, came a change in titles: Father, of course. Coach (although a different kind of football that he was still adjusting to) and now, freshly added to the list: ex husband. That was a pair of shoes that he never thought would fit. He thought he was good at it, it was all he had known for such a long time. Who was he when he wasn’t the husband of Michelle? That was part of what he came to London to know. While the title of husband fades, the focal point of Ted comes in sharper focus. Father, Coach, Friend, Tea Hater, possibly a functioning alcoholic, which is something that he really should stop and examine about himself one of these days but not now.

He’s growing into the shoes. And the word home is getting more comfortable on the tongue. The more he lets go, the more room he can make for himself.

Of course, this doesn’t all happen overnight. You gotta start somewhere. Ted was no exception. And lord, he started at rock fucking bottom.

When Ted first came to London, he could always tell if he was going to have a good day based on the temperature of his hands.

The two most common phrases about the weather that he heard growing up were, “it’s not the heat that gets you, it’s the humidity” and “it wouldn’t actually be that cold if it wasn’t for the wind.”

People told him that London wasn’t actually known for having super hot summers or frigid winters. One of the first interactions he had when he landed was a man shrugging his shoulders and saying “Mate, London is just London. All the time.”

Ted still wasn’t quite sure what that meant.

He figured the London equivalent was “it wouldn’t actually be that cold if it wasn’t so damp.” The rain often had a way of making it seem colder than it was. And it was a big adjustment for him when it came to trying to get over his wife.

“Aw. Heck.” Ted huffed, seeing his breath in front of his own face. It was early in the morning. He went to bed far too late and he awoke to snow blanketing the town. Now to top it off, he left his civics textbook in his car and he couldn’t seem to unlock it to get a hold of it.

“Um, excuse me?”

Ted jumped, looking up to see a blonde girl he had never seen before.

She looks at him expectedly before saying, “Is there a reason you’re trying to break into my vehicle? I can promise you, I don’t have anything interesting in there. Unless you’re looking for some loose change and some Sonic peppermints.”

“I’m sorry, you seem to be mistaken. I’m trying to get into my car. I left my textbook right there in the backseat.” He steps closer, peering into the window and finding… nothing. He looked back at this mystery girl like she had just performed a magic trick.

He looked around to find the parking lot full of cars, but they were the only two people in it, which seemed… odd. Maybe this was a dream. That had to be it, he was still in bed and he would wake up any minute.

The mystery girl pulled out her own set of keys and unlocked the car, reaching in to pull out a pair of gloves. He took a minute to examine her profile. Snow in her hair, cheeks flushed from the cold. She was beautiful. Ted couldn’t believe he’d never met her before.

“Come on now, you didn’t mention you had gloves in there. If I had known that, I wouldn’t have given up so quickly.” It wasn’t his best, but he was freezing, tired and still not entirely sure he wasn’t dreaming.

But, she laughed. And Ted thought it might have been the sweetest sound he’d ever heard.

“Well, I’d offer to share with you but I only have one pair so we’d both have one gloveless hand.”

Ted figured that wouldn’t be so bad. He thought about saying something about holding their gloveless hands together to stay warm but that seemed entirely too much for a girl whose name he still didn’t know, so he kept quiet.

“May I?” She was holding her hand out to him. Oh god, was she actually going to try to hold his hand? He found himself nodding, dazed. Even though he didn’t really know what he was agreeing to.

He tried to stifle the jolt he felt in his stomach at the feeling of her skin touching his. She grabbed his own car keys out his hand, pressing the car alarm button and Ted practically jumped 10 feet in the air.

He whipped his head around to see his own car, the exact same color, make and model as this mystery girl’s vehicle, two rows over, covered in snow. “Huh. I guess in all the lack of sleep last night, I forgot where I parked. I promise I’m not the type of guy that would normally go snoopin’ around a woman’s car.”

There was that damn laugh again. “I believe you. Despite all evidence to the contrary, I believe you. You have a very honest face.” She holds out her hand again, “I’m Michelle.”

Michelle. The mystery woman has a name.

“I’m Ted.” He holds out his own hand, freezing fingers meeting freezing fingers, clasping around each other.

“Nice to meet you.”

What the hell were the odds that they would be the only two in this freezing cold parking lot, both driving the same type of car, both trying to get into said cars at the exact same time?

“Yeah, you too.”

So yeah, when he comes to London, he still misses her, but only on the days when his hands are cold.

———

Denial. That was what he felt the first time that Michelle told him he had changed. If anything, he figured she had changed. She was the one who didn’t laugh at his jokes anymore. She was the one whose smile didn’t fully reach her eyes when they were together. She was one who let his hand fall out of her grasp when they were out in public. He wished he had changed. He would have given anything to change into someone that she would continue to love.

You’re not the man I love anymore, Ted.

So teach me, Michelle. Teach me how to be the man you love again. I’ll fucking do it, you know I will.

————

The night in Liverpool, after his panic attack, the denial bled into goddamn anger.

It wasn’t the first time he had a panic attack, but it had been a long time since it had happened. They became a pretty frequent occurrence for him after the passing of his dad. And Michelle, the old Michelle, the woman she used to be before “he changed” would help him come down from it. She would hold his hands and tell him stories to distract him. Reminding him of sweeter memories like on their first date when it turned out that the restaurant he was going to take her to was actually converted into a shoe store.

The angers cools to depression at the thought of all the parts of her that he’ll never get to know. But it flares up into anger again at the sight of the divorce papers in front of him.

She wasted no time sending over the divorce papers. Throwing his phone down on the table and pinching the bridge of his nose, he was fucking angry. She liked to tell him he changed all the time, and even if they were true, how could she expect someone to stay the way they were in high school? Nobody ever stays the same. People change. People grow. That’s part of life. A big part of it. You spend your youth learning how to become a person, and your older years learning how to become a good person.

He hates it because when he’s like this, he wants to talk to someone that knows him. He would have to explain all this to Rebecca or Keeley. He laughs bitterly into his whiskey. The one person that could help him through his divorce is the very person he’s divorcing from. The goddamn irony of it all.

He could call his mother, but he knows that’s going to open up a whole plethora of questions. She’ll want to know how Michelle is doing, what she’s been up to. “Gee honey, don’t you think there’s a chance you’ll get back together?” He can’t stomach that line of questioning right now.

And it’s not like he can just close her out of his life forever. They have a child together. A child that has his mother’s eyes. Which he also doesn’t want to think about.

Obviously, pain is an aspect of life. But god, right now, he wished there was someone, anyone else that knew him as well as Michelle did.

He really wanted it to be her. Until he realized that she didn’t want it to be him.

—————-

Ted was nervously playing with the glass in front of him, avoiding going back home.

He knew you would be there, waiting for him. Wanting an explanation that he didn’t want to give.

He kept going back and forth with himself, he knew you probably wouldn’t be mad but there was a difference between logically knowing something to be true and emotionally believing it.

On the other side of it all, Michelle has become something that he explains to his new love. Why he reacts the way does, Why he doesn’t have confidence in himself, why he sometimes can’t accept the love you are so easily willing to give.

He still has some habits that you’re helping him to break. Constantly reminding him that he’s not a burden, that his optimistic nature is a feature and not a bug of his personality.

There is no secret alchemy, relationships just take a lot of work, something he’s learning with you.

It’s still odd for him, to have someone work through the struggle rather than break down and leave.

And when he does get home, you’re there. Like you always are.

“You wanna talk about it?” You ask. Leaning against the doorframe.

He shrugs sheepishly but doesn’t actually say anything.

“It’s okay if you don’t, you know. We don’t always have to be talking.”

He nods and makes his way to the couch. His fingers tapping on the tops of his thighs.

You make your way over and sit beside him. Not touching him, not speaking, just sharing the space.

The argument that broke out between the two of you earlier is playing in your heads.

“You gotta let me in, Ted. Just a fucking little bit. I don’t understand what you want me to do. Whether you realize it or not, you’re punishing me for things that she did and that isn’t fair to me. I’m sorry that she hurt you, I am. I truly believe you didn’t deserve it. But, I don’t deserve it either.”

“I’m sorry, darlin’” Ted reaches his hand out to yours and you intertwine them together.

“It’s okay. I’m sorry too-“

“No. There’s no need for you to be. Everything you said was true.”

“It’s just something we’re gonna have to work through together, honey.”

“Yeah.” He whispers, bringing your hand up to his lips and kissing your knuckles.

You cuddle into his side, “so what do you think, time for bed?”

“Heck yeah.”

You don’t let go of his hand, keeping your fingers intertwined. His hands aren’t cold anymore and he’s found something new in himself, a man that you can love. Openly and easily. And he didn’t have to change a damn thing about himself to make it happen.

[khaleesiofalicante]

Random things

I know it will sound childish, but Cami's solution makes 100% sense to me. The people leading the Clave are too emotionally involved. They are too wrapped up in the past and it does not help them make decisions for the future. In this case, a fresh perspective would be much more useful. Even Régine will be more objective than her mother. Madeleine is completely unfit to become Consul because she pretends to ne objective but she has an agenda and is incredibly manipulative. Let the young people take charge!

I have a feeling Lucifer might have been the one to change the canon event. Unless one of them is hiding the truth, it would make sense for Lucifer to be the one to jump in that portal. All he had to do was not kill Arthur. How would the others even prevent Lucifer from killing Arthur?

If Christopher was brought in the present before he invents fire messages this would have a huge impact on the Battle between the shadowhunters and Belial back in London in the past. It would change so much. That's what Older Max meant, right? They all think that the impact of what Older Max is describing would be a big bang. An event so life altering they would notice. But canon events are more like threads aren't they? They didn't set off a bomb, they pulled a thread. So the universe will continue falling apart like a cloth, in small ways until it's too far gone for them to save it by the time they notice? Pretty poetic if that's true.

Is Christopher's death a canon event? Because if it is, maybe what they did had a consequence of attracting every one that was supposed to die prematurely in the current time line's frequency. That would be... bad.

I don't think Older Max lost David's love. I don't think it's possible for any David to not love Max. I think he simply chose the children over him. But I don't think he hated or didn't live Max. And I really hope his lost fate in Older Max not to extend in Max from this timeline. Because Max said to Rafael he didn't believe David would change a canon event. But David would've. He would've done it. And that is something that will create a chasm between them.

I personally believe that they should all shut up and at least listen to what Older Max has to say. They all should've done what Rafael did. Honestly, Rafael is the only Lightwood-Bane to do a sane thing and it shows. Good for him I say.

Also, not Rafael thinking that no matter how fucked up the other timeline was at least he had his brother. My Lightwood-Bane siblings please, these two make me wanna cry so much😭

I have a feeling the epilogue from Older Max's POV will be him going to the Other Timeline so we get to see what happened to them or him having a chat with Lucifer. Or maybe it's neither but the suspence is there.

Okay now I'm actually done, I promise. My only excuse for all these asks is that your stories are emotional enough to cause so many different contradicting thoughts and feelings and complex enough to want to make me analyse why I have those feelings. Your talent is truly a wonder. Thank you for an amazing update as always🌼💛

You don't need an excuse for this. It always makes my day when I see these long asks from you. It's like receiving a letter from someone you love. (why couldn't i live in times when letters came in the post and not texts ew)

Madeleine as Consul scares me. If you are a leader and you have 100% support of your people, then something is wrong somewhere. Rafael's leadership is realistic. He is a 'good person' so of course there is a lot of opposition. If Madeleine becomes Consul, everything she suggests will be passed. IT'S A NIGHTMARE.

We'll discuss how the change of the canon event is affecting the world quite soon. But the only person who can actually tell us what's going on would be Stevie (MY GIRL HAS ALL THE DATA AND IS SMART AF)

Other Max and David is currently very complicated. I think in one of my previous asks someone raised a very good question like 'why was Max surprised that David was mad/betrayed him for lying when he knew David chose the kids before too'. And it really shows just how desperate/hopeful he is. Like obviously he knew David wouldn't talk to him again that's why (before the canon was changed so he doesn't remember) he came to say goodbye. Some people asked if David would change his mind if saw what happened to the other world and the thing is David doesn't care about the world. He cares about Max and the kids. And he might change his mind if he understood how much OM has been through after David died :(

The Epilogue (ironically) is one of the first scenes I visualized and I am soooooooo excited to write it :)

[tuxedo-lef]

BESTIE ITS YOUR FABI ANON HERE AND FIRSTLY JUST WANNA SAY THAT I LOVED THE SOULMATE AU SO MUCH - SECONDLY I WANNA PRESENT A NEW FABINELLI AU CONCEPT TO YOU:

Football player x dancer au

Like I don't know imagine them in uni or something and Gabi is on the football team and Fabi is in the uni's dance team and they're best friends and go and cheer each other on at their events all while harbouring massive crushes on each other. Lots of yearning, lots of Gabi thinking about Fabi's hips, lots of them being idiots

HELLO BEST FRIEND! *SENDS YOU A FLYING KISS* Missed seeing you in my inbox 🫂 And yeah, I ended up writing and posting the Soulmate AU really quickly after I replied to your last ask because the brain rot was too much for me to handle.

NOW! Football player!Gabi x dancer!Fabio au

🤯🤯🤯🤯

I can’t believe I didn’t think of this when I posted about dançarina Fabio fifteen times last week lmaooo. And by ‘football player’ I assume we’re on the same page when I interpret it as european football and not american football 👀

Although American football player Gabi would probably work for something else! Like Gabi is a frat bro who grew up in the USA since the age of 10 and Fabio is an exchange student… There’s something there to explore as well 🧐

But getting back to the original topic!

You need to know that I was thinking about a scenario where fabinelli hide in a closet and end up fucking because of the close proximity and this au could be a worthy contender. Like at a party or somewhere in the university…

Anyways, I feel like the university would be based in London (coyg 🗣️) and maybe Fabio and Gabi meet at an event/party for international students and they click instantly. Fabio falls first but Gabi falls harder; specifically when he attends Fabio’s dance rehearsal for the first time. They are pining like all friends to lovers do!

Maybe Fabio is a little awkward in male dominated spaces because in this au he grew up dancing ballet or contemporary or ballroom (you get what I mean) and never touched a football in his life.

Gabi invites him to watch his football practice and Fabio shows up early with a care package for him: some snacks, an electrolyte drink and an extra towel to dry his sweaty forehead. Of course, Gabi is late and everyone is hovering around Fabio, asking him questions: what’s your name? who are you here for? could you bring caring gifts for us next practice?

Fabio is overwhelmed and starts feeling bad because when Gabi shows up, everyone is teasing him for being on the receiving end of Fabio's sweet gesture. But Gabi ignores them and ruffles Fabio’s hair, thanking him for being so thoughtful. The semester progresses and Fabio quickly becomes the team’s halftime fairy, bringing them slices of oranges or watermelon.

Sometimes Gabi gets a little jealous when Fabio has to dance a duet. He wishes he could have half the grace Fabio’s dance partner’s have so he could have an excuse to rest his hand on Fabio’s hips.

Maybe Gabi gets injured on the field at one point. He's rushed off the pitch and sent to the infirmary. Everyone on the team is a little surprised when Fabio finds the player who injured Gabi after the game and starts lecturing the guy about being more careful. Who knew their little halftime fairy had the guts to do that?

Gabi starts doing dance celebrations when he scores just for Fabio. Similarly, Fabio includes Gabi in his thanking speech when he wins an award at dance competition.

A quick filler scene would look something like this:

Gabi looked at the choreography script Fabio was working on with innocent curiosity in his eyes. "That looks fun!" "Oh please," Fabio exhaled and sunk deeper into his chair. "Choreographing is my least favourite part of dancing. I'd rather just receive every order and execute the moves." Gabi liked the way Fabio's eyebrows knitted together whenever he was complaining. It made his eyes look ten times cuter and the action was usually coupled with an endearing pout on his lips. "Did you finally get that spin to work the way you wanted?" Gabi asked, remembering how Fabio was worrying about a specific spinning movement during his practice yesterday. To Gabi, there was no way Fabio's body could move without looking insanely good. Alas, the masterminds of dancing had made up technical rules that made his perfectionist friend stress over unextended toes or off-centre landings. Apparently, there was always room for improvement. "You're just asking because you want to see me try it now," Fabio rolled his eyes but started to get up anyway. There was just enough room in his studio apartment to practice a few steps.

Fabio was wearing a simple black t-shirt, his tennis shorts (Gabi’s secret favourites) and a pair of fuzzy socks to keep his feet warm.

When Fabio leaped and spun his body, Gabi could only focus on the way Fabio’s thigh muscles squeezed, creating a nice line going all the way down to his ankle. He couldn’t stop himself from gazing at the way Fabio’s lean body bent with grace, making his shirt flow and revealing a sliver of his stomach. Gabi always wondered how it would feel to press his thumb deep into Fabio’s hipbone. To look at Fabio’s torso flush red under his touch and to mark him where no one else could.

“That was perfect!” Gabi complimented a beat too late, swallowing the saliva that had drowned his tongue.

“You’re so full of shit! I literally messed up the landing,” Fabio accused him while his shoulders were bouncing from laughter.

“It’s positive reinforcement. I’m here to boost your confidence,” Gabi said with a smile. “And don’t pretend that you never cheered me on when I failed a faint. You’re just as bad!”

Fabio giggled. The one sound that rivalled that of birds chirping in Gabi’s weak little heart. “Alright. I concede. We’re both clueless.”

[punkscowardschampions]

Tancy pt.2

Teddy: Was [the alcohol] your only offering?

Nancy: [take a minute here to respond because you know, hot tub, but you’ll still end up on your phone because you’re bored and you’re probably planning to take blackmail photos of people as is your MO]

Nancy: Wow, you ungrateful bitch!

Nancy: but no, as it happens

Teddy: What else did you bring me?

Nancy: I’m going to have to order you a doll now

Nancy: now I know

Teddy: I have one, she’s under my bed, naturally

Teddy: [send her a link to whatever sex doll you may or may not be joking you have]

Nancy: well I fear she may be liberated before the night is through

Nancy: 💔

Teddy: The end of an era

Nancy: You’ll make me cry, this [whatever drug it is you’re claiming, you may be chatting shit] is extra weepy

Teddy: I don’t recommend [whatever he’s waiting to kick in] as a suitable alternative, it’ll be my next birthday by the time I feel anything

Nancy: You still have [the drugs he asked for]

Teddy: True, but I don’t have you

Nancy: You’ll come up, darling

Teddy: The roof is as high as it gets, unfortunately

Nancy: No stars in London

Teddy: I’ll spend the summer in [somewhere I won’t commit myself to, but where he could see stars obvs]

Nancy: Where are you really going?

Teddy: My father’s non home offices, if he gets his way

Nancy: ALL summer? Has he lost his mind too?

Teddy: Practically, I’m sure I could beg for a measly week joining the family in [wherever they have a holiday home] but as you know, I don’t do that

Nancy: Hm, how ghastly

Nancy: I’ll be [wherever the fam is going] unless I get a better offer before then

Teddy: [recommend some y’all fun things for her to do if she ends up in said place, whether that’s word of mouth goss from people or you’ve been]

Nancy: You’re such a sweetie

Teddy: It’s nothing if not on theme 🧁🍰🎂

Nancy: Are you happy with how the party turned out?

Teddy: [send her the dad blackmail nudes as a yes so you don’t have to give a real answer]

Nancy: That makes me feel terrible about myself, ugh

Teddy: Don’t be absurd 

Nancy: How did your sister do it, did she have an ED?

Teddy: I assume so, she’s the most type A person I’ve ever met

Nancy: Diet coke and vodka only for me from now on

Nancy: no [whatever drink you got him and he compared you to]

Teddy: You don’t want any more cake? How sad, we’re yet to do candles

Nancy: It’s very sad being a girl

Teddy: Chlo accused me of being one, it was rather amusing

Teddy: [send her that bit of convo]

Nancy: Ha

Nancy: so devastated I can’t confirm it myself

Teddy: Imagine her as a mother to a son, my poor children are going to require such intensive therapy

Nancy: You’ll meanwhile be thrilled to have someone more fucked up than you 

Teddy: Excuse you, I’m the well-adjusted child, no rehab or incest fantasies to my name

Nancy: Not yet and lies

Teddy: Your jealousy will turn you uglier than cake, darling

Nancy: You can be a delusional twink for a few more years, live it up

Teddy: How generous, thank you, Nance

Teddy: your blessing, of course, means the world to me

Nancy: Shut up, you’re an idiot

Teddy: Your blood sugar is low, you’re talking nonsense

Nancy: There’s nothing adjusted about you

Teddy: Put your corset back on, I prefer you deprived of oxygen

Nancy: You prefer [this gay boy] on his knees, everyone knows, sweetie

Teddy: Oh now I understand, you’re sulking

Nancy: soaking, thank you

Teddy: No need to thank me, though yes, you were

Nancy: [send a picture of this hot tub which is probably a health hazard full of bodies at this point like no silly]

Teddy: You’re very red, you may want to get out

Nancy: Don’t neg me

Teddy: You are, I’m merely pointing out what everyone else can see

Nancy: If Chlo wants a solid cover, she can say you invited her over for a dip

Nancy: is that true, do you think?

Teddy: I don’t tend to consider what she wants

Nancy: You’re selfish, I know

Teddy: Too many eyes on you are making you paranoid

Nancy: No, I love it

Teddy: I’ll leave you to your adoring public then

Nancy: says you, Mr let the street see

Teddy: You’re welcome, by the way

Nancy: Don’t act like that had anything to do with me

Teddy: The act had everything to do with you

Nancy: He has a dick

Teddy: Which was irrelevant, he didn’t put it anywhere

Nancy: That’s still awful and insulting of you to say

Teddy: It isn’t Chlo who desires a solid cover, I gave you one

Nancy: I’m perfectly capable of creating my own and did but sure

Nancy: Thanks a lot, Teddy

Teddy: In which case, you’ve got 0 business being upset with me

Nancy: Your ego said I was upset, so you started calling me ugly

Teddy: I would never call you ugly

Nancy: I don’t care who you fuck, Chlo, [this boy], anyone

Teddy: Okay, good, that spares us an awkward & tedious conversation

Teddy: the likes of which I already had with my bride before she fled

Nancy: That’s entirely her fault for thinking you’re good enough to be a boyfriend

Teddy: For the record, I could care less who you fuck either, unless you persist on your fool’s errand to turn my brother into your next boyfriend

Nancy: Good, even that is none of your concern

Teddy: I have 0 cause for concern, he doesn’t want you

Nancy: Not right now

Teddy: Not ever, apparently

Nancy: I imagine he’ll feel a little different when my parents are looking to press charges and your family implodes from your little scheme

Teddy: About Ava perhaps, he doesn’t feel anything for you beyond his sobriety crusade

Nancy: Ava will be far away finishing her A-levels in some girl’s boarding school for her own safety

Teddy: She’ll be finishing them at the school he knows well, your parents couldn’t get your brother off your cousin, I highly doubt they’ll step up to save her

Nancy: She’s the favourite, as well as the actually well-adjusted child, don’t underestimate how preferential her treatment is

Teddy: The point is, your parents won’t even view what she’s doing as a fall from grace, J isn’t a blood relation, she’s doing fantastic for herself

Nancy: How little you know

Teddy: How little I care for your family squabbles

Nancy: How little I care what you think, I’ll continue to do what I like

Teddy: As you should

Nancy: So we’re done here then

Teddy: If you like

Nancy: Why would I want to stay

Teddy: Countless reasons, a hot tub full, it would appear

Nancy: I have to get out, I’m so red and disgusting

Teddy: I said red

Nancy: and I know what you meant

Teddy: Where’s the fun in passing out without me? None of them will take care of you

Nancy: You slapped me

Teddy: I remember

Nancy: [a person, god knows who] had to be pulled out ages ago

Teddy: I’ll come down there and pull you out in a moment if I have to

Nancy: Don’t you dare touch me

Teddy: Everyone will talk & you’ll be REALLY upset

Nancy: [a dramatic and wobbly POV of you getting out of this hot tub like THERE]

Teddy: Good girl

Nancy: You expect me to just melt, don’t you

Teddy: Not now you’re out of the hot tub

Nancy: Not the dad jokes

Teddy: Ha ha

Nancy: it’s a good thing you’re pretty

Teddy: [ignoring her, posting that he’s finally gone to the present table and is bothering to open these, doing it like this to shame anyone who didn’t serve & even worse the people who didn’t bring anything at all because everyone can see what he got]

Nancy: [very French king of you, at least we can watch this and be nosey, as is our love, just reacting according with the emojis when we approve or disapprove]

Teddy: The existence of yours was a lie, they aren’t here

Nancy: Only the bottle, which I told you, was gonna be long gone

Nancy: like I’m going to be caught giving you anything more

Teddy: You told me you did

Nancy: Are you asking for your other presents now?

Teddy: Are they real or imaginary? 

Nancy: Why would I lie, that would be so strange

Teddy: Why would you hide them from me? 

Nancy: To keep them safe, silly boy

Teddy: Where?

Nancy: My bag

Teddy: & which one is yours?

Nancy: I have it

Nancy: you’ll have to decide to start being nice again if you want it

Teddy: [not you just looking everywhere for her instead and when you find her, wherever she may be, holding your hands out like an expectant child]

Nancy: [pulling a face at him like ew, stop that and holding your bag to you tight like he is a mugger]

Teddy: [never have the words ‘hand it over’ been SO charged with tension, excuse him everybody]

Nancy: [this is giving roleplay right now lmao, like okay performance, also there’s no privacy in the basement where you probably still were it’s just one room with a bathroom or the sauna and you can’t be pulling him into either without looking a type of way, so pushing to make room on this sofa next to you so you’re at least not causing a complete scene on this day ‘sit down’ with the same drama]

Teddy: [‘no’ as petulantly as she was being earlier, because we genuinely don’t want to be in the basement, the scene of her crimes lol, we just want our gifts ‘just give them to me’]

Nancy: [getting up so offended like how dare you reject my offer and also be so rude about this ‘why the fuck should I?’ with a laugh of disbelief]

Teddy: [‘Because you don’t want me to hurt you, you’re SUCH a baby about it’ not you referring to earlier in front of people, oooh]

Nancy: [at least you can, however predictably, return the favour and slap him before using the basement’s front door and getting out onto the street like a drunken cliche]

Teddy: [laugh because you love it and she raided the jewellery so she’s probably still ringed up too thanks to your mother’s stash and you can have a matching cut which you touch before following her like an even bigger cliche, literally pull her back like stop, because there’s nobody from this party on the street when they’re allowed to smoke and do whatever else they want inside, and you can, not that you’d care in this moment if there were]

Nancy: [not you running off with god knows how much worth of his mother’s things lol, I don’t even know what you’ll be wearing at this point because you wouldn’t have had anything but your underwear on in the sauna then hot tub but presumably you’ve found something to put on since then to be breaking out onto this street in but who can say, the way you’d be gagged if you saw him not follow his girlfriend earlier haha but I suppose y’all can pretend it’s about the jewellery and stick to that, TURNING back with your hand raised like you’re going to go for a second round but you’re distracted by the fact he’s got a cut too, taking a step towards him]

Teddy: [either she’s in white lingerie which is potentially wet and thus see through or she’s in that and his mother’s stolen fur coat so add that to the millions she’s running away with lol, either way, both iconic, GRABBING her wrist like you would if you were stopping her from slapping you a 2nd time even though she has not, squeezing it hard enough to hurt as you pull her closer towards you]

Nancy: [it’s giving escort truly, not that you’re giving it another thought, or a thought to begin with, here opening your mouth but stopping yourself from making a noise, jutting your chin out and closing what’s left of the gap between y’all ‘I am NOT a baby’ because so offended you would say that in front of people, scratching your nails on the cheek that’s already red and scratched from the rings, just to prove a point]

Teddy: [‘yes you are’ because we ALL remember when he said she’s not my baby, you are, and he’s saying it again now, no fucks given, pushing her into the nearest wall with his body like a cliche, we can pretend it’s because there’s a less obvious view if anyone from this party is peeping but he hasn’t given an actual thought to that he just wanted to do it] 

Nancy: [letting out a pant when your body makes contact with the bricks, pushing back into his body with intention, doing a little groan, blinking up at him, pausing for half a second, ‘fine, you can have your gifts’ reaching to open your bag and find them out]

Teddy: [not you taking this bag and dropping it your feet in the BIGGEST in a minute gesture of all time because you don’t even want those gifts rn, we ALL know what he actually wants, not at all caring if the entire contents of said bag falls all over the street, only caring that he’s pushing her into the wall even harder and is again licking her face where her cut is but so much more dramatically than he did earlier, highkey mouthing at it and basically biting her face like he did when they were doing their OG feral antics ‘let me have you’]

Nancy: [not even looking down even though it’s your bag and your things, can only launch yourself at him face first, copying what he’s doing on you as perfectly as you can when you’re not thinking at all and just being guided by what you want, pulling him into you repeatedly, crashing his hips against yours to punctuate the ‘I can’t stop thinking about you’ sounding equal parts angry and like you never want to stop]

Teddy: [me like I hope she does also have that fur coat on because he is RIPPING that lingerie in a way that she simply could not then walk away and not get arrested for indecent exposure, tearing the entire crotch out and then at his clothes to be fucking her against this wall as ferally as anyone has ever ‘you’re going to love me’ likewise punctuated by these antics and sounding as insistent]

Nancy: [we’ll be kind and say you do because it’s also a mood so have it lads, likewise a mood he���s ruined your lingerie and you’re making that clear with how willingly you’re exposing yourself, not really knowing if the fur coat/his body means that he’s definitely the only one who can see because right now you do not care at all, doing the most to make sure he’s fucking you as deeply as is physically possible for both your sake’s, moaning his name with the same kind of exposed energy]

Teddy: [me like I’m glad for her ridiculous wig because it will cushion her head from these bricks when he is literally slamming her against them with how hard he’s going at this rn, at least until this boy PULLS it off with how he’s kissing her and we’re likewise letting that disappear with no thought at all as if it wasn’t a very expensive rental, IMMEDIATELY all up in her real hair because he’s missed it so much]

Nancy: [my boo says until it ain’t, unlucky bitch, lord knows you didn’t stop him choking you out, you aren’t gonna stop from risk of concussion here and now, being so frenzied about all of this, including asking ‘how does my pussy feel this time?’ because REMEMBERING the first hookup when]

Teddy: [every time he tries to give her an actual answer just MOANING because that good, is he embarrassed about the fact he cannot speak, no, is he even redder than her in that hot tub rn from how feral this all is, yes]

Nancy: [kissing him like you intend to deprive him of all oxygen and only leave room for your tongue in his mouth, holding his red face in your hands and SQUEEZING his cheeks tighter and tighter ‘you’ve made it yours’ as something you’re breathing into him, forehead pushing against his so your head is being rattled off this wall yet again when he invariably pushes you back]

Teddy: [LOVES to see his blood running down her hand from the way she’s squeezed his cheeks and made that tiny cut worse, can only let that be known by the insane EYE CONTACT he’s giving as his gaze goes from her hand to her eyes, panting ‘you give the best gifts’ because this is the real one rn regardless of whatever she has also got for his bday]

Nancy: [making a handprint right across your heart that is making your whole chest bang visibly, immediately attempting to get enough blood to do the same to him because you gotta ‘only the best for my boy’ casual words but there is nothing casual about how they’re being said in the slightest, planting your hand firmly on his chest to the point you’re pushing him a little too far away and you have to whimper like no]

Teddy: [catch him coming back SO dramatically that it was as if that push lasted a thousand years and sent him half way across the street, thrusting into her so hard that they can both hear her head hit the wall and it’s such a sickening kind of knock that he should be worried and not into it but we know it’s the latter, cradling her head then and kissing it so dramatically, literally combing through her hair with his fingers to see if she’s bleeding but has he stopped any of these feral antics, no]

Nancy: [when it’s hard to tell if you’re moaning or crying because the answer is both, at the same time and at an indecently loud level on both counts, shaking with the shock of how it felt and clutching at him ‘make it feel better’ repeated over and over with sincerity and undeniable !!]

Teddy: [doing the absolute MOST to make her forget all about it because at the point he couldn’t even stop if he wanted to, which he does not, could not be holding her tighter to stop her from shaking, wrapping this fur coat around her as much as he possibly can without it interfering with the absolutely unhinged rhythm they are in, continuing to kiss her head and face absolutely everywhere indiscriminately and absolutely indecently]

Nancy: [‘you’ll be such a good daddy to your babies’ snuggling your face into the softness of this coat and looking up at him as if there’s anything coy about this entire display]

Teddy: [‘hers aren’t mine’ just letting her know that she’s his only baby, soz not soz Chlo, imagine if this scheme actually went ahead, things would be wild in these streets]

Nancy: [thank the lord she runs and finds her mans because the drama no one but y’all needs truly, ‘I am’ smiling at him so pleased with ourself and with you in this moment]

Teddy: [doing the kind of unhinged close proximity nod that means his entire face is rubbing against hers because the heart eyes are FULL force and we need to break them up slightly]

Nancy: [just nuzzling each other like cats, nbd ‘I need cum’ like I need to cum and I need you to cum because feels ridiculous that you have not at this point]

Teddy: [‘you need to’ ordering her to like he’s such a gentleman he couldn’t possibly go first, he wouldn’t dream of it, when we all know he doesn’t usually give a shit about these things]

Nancy: [‘touch me like you do’ throwing out your own demand because you can and you know that’s about all it will take]

Teddy: [ofc he is ‘cum for me, please’ throwing a please out exactly like she did earlier when they both refused to before, we love to see it, no plea just as if he’s being polite with his demand in contrast to his utterly feral actions]

Nancy: [when you’ve slammed yourself onto him as roughly as you can, holding him still by his hips and not letting him pull out an inch whilst you spasm around him, maintaining eye contact until you physically cannot to kill you even more because you can’t handle it]

Teddy: [he won’t be able to handle it either so he’ll be following right after her and basically collapsing against this wall which will crush her to it with his dead weight for a second because DEAD, it’s only when he literally kicks her bag as he’s getting himself up that he even remembers these presents he so wanted even exist, looking but he cannot bend down to pick them up yet cos SO out of breath, I hope she didn’t get him anything fragile]

Nancy: [use the wall to keep you upright kids, it’s a must with how gone you both are, looking too and doing a small smirk ‘I promised you could have them now’ like don’t worry, I won’t take them away before you can, then looking down at yourself to assess the actual indecent mess you are out on the street like this, doing a sharp intake of breath like well damn]

Teddy: [instead first finding her cigarettes and lighter and going through that whole rigmarole of lighting up, like a cliche and his own version of well damn, when you’re literally shaking because of how dramatically you just came, this cigarette literally bobbing about between his lips as he takes the first drag of it before passing it to her, only then finally finding and opening these presents (so you’ll have to tell me what they are hehe), the absolute carnage of unwrapping them because he’s still shaky and also always chaotic so he’d be tearing into them anyway as hardcore as that lingerie lbr]

Nancy: [my boo demands to know her damn self lmao, okay, so obviously you are limited to bag size because are we trying to carry around a damn sack this whole party, nay nay, so we know the drugs are in there that you wanted, then I’m thinking a spenny bracelet because he clearly does not have as many/any because my boo doesn’t mention then and it’s giving possessive it’s giving handcuffs etc like it could look like literal handcuffs idk and that’s the main thing you’ve actually put thought into and then as for the other you’re being peak unhinged and giving him your underwear from the first time you messed around but did not hook up which is a whole month ago at this point, you being self-assured he’s gonna remember for me]

Teddy: [we been knew that I’ve been nosy every day of my life and you haven’t disappointed me boo, ask me why this boy never wears bracelets, I couldn’t tell you, the only time I remember him doing it is when he did an ad, so I LOVE this gift and the intimacy of you making her put it on you, it’s giving when he put his arms out and demanded this gifts in the first place except not at all, oh girls of course he remembers, grinning at her and then looking down at her like ‘I’ll be nice and let you borrow them, if you’re coming back inside’ because she’s so close to the baze gaff she could walk home easily instead but we’re making it clear we don’t want her to leave until the bitter end of this party, stealing the cig back and taking another drag because these gifts are really something and he doesn’t know what to say]

Nancy: [you aren’t good at things like this either and would’ve been debating the inclusion of the bracelet the entire time, hence it was not put on the table, your other valid reasons aside, so we’re fine with just focusing on what’s easy to in this moment ie the state of you and how we ended up here, rolling our eyes affectionately like oh please ‘you mean you want me to’ because chance to add more memories to the garment/gift, sliding out of the ones you are barely wearing because they are fucked and holding out your hand like okay]

Teddy: [you’ll see him wearing this bracelet every day now for the rest of his life so it’s FINE you’ll know he likes it, but in the here and now ‘I’m torn, actually, much like these’ as he reaches to touch them/pick them up from the cold hard ground instead of handing the new ones over because adding to the mems is tempting but so is knowing she’s even more naked at this function and why, getting distracted when his wrist catches the light whether that’s street, moon or security, and LOOKING at this bracelet with heart eyes, THINKING about the gesture of her giving him this because he gave her his mum’s necklace so they’ve exchanged jewellery now that’s so romantic] 

Nancy: [it's very romantic and neither of you is acknowledging it verbally but we all know it, trying not to THINK about it too much for all the reasons but you can’t stop yourself from it when he’s stood in front of you being so blatant and about it, distracting yourself however futilely by shakily doing up this coat if it has fastenings/holding it around yourself properly so you don’t flash everyone immediately because you’re game obviously ‘I’ll go first’ because hardly safe for you to stay out here in this state/at any time in comparison to him, lingering though and not just walking to and in the front door]

Teddy: [pulling her back, even though she hasn’t left yet, much like how he did when they first got out here but gentler, pulling her into him and fully picking her up as if he’s gonna carry her inside, no fucks given in that moment to her flashing anyone ‘don’t leave yet’ because he simply doesn’t want her to]

Nancy: [letting yourself be pulled back, into him and picked up without any hesitation because you don’t want to leave him either, cuddling around his neck and kissing his face better ‘yours needs cleaning too, remember’ like it’s very important but you just want your TCP revenge]

Teddy: [making a face like he’s HORRIFIED at the prospect lol because shan’t be brave either thank you ‘it’ll hurt’ hiding against her and this giant coat like no no but then remembering her head and lifting his back up ‘oh, speaking of, how many fingers am I holding up’ obvs doing however many he touched her with when she asked him to]

Nancy: [laughing ‘I couldn’t do that before’ because whether we’re talking about being intoxicated or dyslexic both are true and we can’t be bothered to care about this potentially dangerous injury, the kind of life we’re living ‘though the fact you’re trying to murder me hasn’t gone unnoticed’ licking these fingers playfully as you make EYE CONTACT like I’m watching you]

Teddy: [doing his own laugh at both these things because she does amuse him, kissing the top of her head like she’s a little girl like oh you, maintaining this EYE CONTACT as he finds the drugs she gave him and gives her her share, I think they were pills (?), so do it with a kiss ‘there, there, take your medicine’ like that’ll make her feel better instead of potentially worse if she did have a head injury]

Nancy: [yep they are pills so get to popping and pull him back in for a makeout because there’s always time before they kick in and you just have to ‘could go visit Chlo’ like lol imagine]

Teddy: [‘you, me or us as a we, together’ because all of those possibilities are hilarious tbh, each word in between a kiss just because he can and will ‘when will you talk to her?’ as a more genuine question though which isn’t punctuated by smooches, love that he hasn’t put her down and is still very much holding her]

Nancy: [‘you said I wanted to see her’ pushing his shoulder away so you’re LOOKING at each other because thanks for that one but also he did so it’s a valid excuse, shrugging a shoulder ‘I could go right now, cry about it all with her’]

Teddy: [‘Because I wanted to get her here’ as if Chlo is so obsessed with Nancy that it’s all it would take cos lowkey where’s the lie you wanna be her so bad sis ‘and you’ll have come up by the time you get there’ like you won’t be in the mood to cry y’all will be buzzing when this hits but he’s holding her tighter like excuse you stop trying to leave me]

Nancy: [when you’d already forgotten about taking that and you’re like whoops ‘okay, okay, not right now’ snuggling your head into the side of his neck like I’m not leaving ‘I just want to help you’]

Teddy: [stroking her hair v softly, we can pretend it was tickling him and he’s just moving it but no ‘I’ll need ALL your help to breed with her’ when you keep saying it because so true ‘who did you fuck?’ because even if he’s heard he wants to hear it from her, said so casually and conversationally with no accusation or jealousy or anything, you wouldn’t even know they’d argued about it]

Nancy: [at least we’re receptive to it now we’re not mad at you ‘she won’t mind that I’m there’ said so confidently, which, in theory, if she’s fucking him to get pregnant, she can hardly tell the world you are lol so go off lads ‘maybe we can go together’ actually considering this even though you should not, until he asks his question and you’re hopping down because even if he’s asking nicely you’re still like ugh ‘why?’]

Teddy: [‘she would, however, try and talk you into a pregnancy pact’ we see you putting the idea out there and into this girl’s head of her also being pregnant with your child while shading Chlo, picking her back up again purely to be petty because you only want to put her down when you want to, giving her a lil shake but playfully ‘I’m curious’ again very Alice and very catlike, we love to see it]

Nancy: [my boo says I see you, boy, don’t think I don’t lol, still at this point in time we will merely laugh like oh God imagine because no desire to be a mother and stop doing what we want when we want all the time, blowing out a sigh when he picks you up but it’s half-affectionate, messing up his hair like oh you ‘you want to know if you’ve slept with them too, I know’ because he is that boy and has been so we aren’t surprised nor offended, hence name these two guys you got in the middle of, lack of a better term]

Teddy: [‘& predictably I have’ because why not say he did, he lowkey has slutted around everyone at this party ‘how was it for you?’ giving nothing away about how it was for him, only fishing because jemily know that their hook ups were unfulfilling so obvs he can’t help thinking about how his was, especially now that he has that insane hookup of tancy’s to compare it with] 

Nancy: [doing a fake yawn because yes, so predictable, then raising your brows like oops, that wasn’t my review but shrugging because yeah, actually, stand by it ‘enough to keep me busy but nothing to go back for’]

Teddy: [a nod because same ‘it’s a good thing he’s pretty’ not you deliberately using the exact same words she did @ you for the boy you hooked up with like yeah he’s beautiful but otherwise giving nothing]

Nancy: [‘that’s always described the guest list’ because nothing changes and you end up finding everyone disappointing and boring in the end, patting his shoulder sympathetically ‘I’m dating someone’s dad next’]

Teddy: [‘truly’ because he couldn’t agree more, he’s only just today turned 16 and he’s already so bored by everyone ‘I’m dating Seb, I promised Gia’ because you said you were gonna snatch him]

Nancy: [looking at him like that’s a new one ‘kinda mean to save her from her loveless marriage but trap your brother in his’ like pick a lane lol]

Teddy: [getting your phone out and giving her that convo to read just for fun, with no thought or fucks given to if he said anything that he might not want Nancy to read]

Nancy: [I just skimmed and it’s mostly family drama/Teddy being a very unbelievable victim lol, the only bit that isn’t going to be like well let’s not discuss that is him saying his girlfriend would marry him, hence showing him that bit like oh, is THAT the plan now lmao]

Teddy: [it’s him genuinely and without being a bitch, being like ‘oh sorry, should I read it to you?’ as she’s reading because dyslexic and he doesn’t know if she can, for me, but when she gets to that bit and shows him, shrugging ‘I said she would & she would, if I asked’ because genuinely believes he could make this girl do anything and tbh where’s the lie so far]

Nancy: [‘how do you think we message? I’m not illiterate, arsehole’ because however much of a dick he’s not being it still pisses us off, scoffing ‘why’d you think your sister would care?’ like that’s the bit we’re questioning here]

Teddy: [‘perhaps you require different phone settings on yours or something, I don’t know, do I?’ because valid ‘she was calling me unweddable, I refuted it, that’s all’] 

Nancy: [get down again because bad vibes ‘you’re bringing me down when we’re meant to be going up, come on’ like we need to go find music because these drugs will be wasted if we start arguing instead]

Teddy: [let her this time even if you’re making an OTT noise like ugh FINE because offended she’s claiming you’re bringing bad vibes when you were trying to be supportive about her horrific disability for once ‘you go first’ an echo of what she said]

Nancy: [when reading all that has made you feel a type of way and you shouldn’t have but you’re nosey and we related, you simply had to, turning and not looking back as you wave behind you ‘safe travels’]

Teddy: [scoff at her and call ‘what’s that, irish folklore?’ at her as she walks away because any excuse to drag her poor roots always]

Nancy: It means find someone else to dance with, okay

Teddy: I wasn’t going to ask you, you don’t wish to be seen with me unless you’re slapping my face

Nancy: I’ve danced with you before

Teddy: & on that occasion your boyfriend hit me

Nancy: because you asked him to

Teddy: It wasn’t my fault

Nancy: Fine, blame me, just forget it

Teddy: I’ll do my best to forget your rejection

Nancy: Teddy, don’t

Teddy: Always a pleasure, Nancy

Nancy: You just sounded like such a child and it reminded me that you are

Nancy: I’m not rejecting you I’m just backing off

Teddy: They’re both the same thing

Nancy: I mean you haven’t done anything to be rejected

Teddy: The end result doesn’t change, darling, let’s not kid ourselves

Teddy: oops, that word must be triggering for you

Nancy: I hope you can make the best of your high

Teddy: How grown up of you, thanks

Nancy: I’m serious, a bad time on this shit is hellish and I feel it starting

Teddy: Well, if I need a babysitter I won’t ask you either

Nancy: I’m sorry, don’t come in [whatever bathroom you are hiding in because you feel like shit]

Teddy: Of course now I’m going to

Teddy: [come and find her because even though she upset you, you really do care, pick her up off this bathroom floor or whatever and cradle her like she’s a child]

Nancy: [me like thank god you were evidently blocking the door so there aren’t other people in here because you are just opening the floodgates like you’ve been given truth serum in a totally unfiltered way, telling him why you’re a bad person for all of this but also all the other reasons you’re a bad person, just an absolute laundry list]

Teddy: [love that you would’ve had to bust in this door dramatically because she was blocking it, don’t hurt her again please, just shhing her and stroking her back and hair and everywhere else you think might be comforting like she’s a baby or a pet, doing little kisses and calling her darling over and over in the softest voice you have ever used as you tell her it’s okay and literally everything you like about her in the same kind of word vomit that you aren’t even thinking about filtering you just want her to feel better]

Nancy: [and thank god you’re both on it and these things never last long, so when it’s all over you can just pretend it never happened lol lol lol, moving onto telling him why you’re sorry in what would be in other circumstances hilarious detail, like I’m sorry for when I and listing every unhinged thing y’all have done thus far like girl, shh]

Teddy: [‘baby, you just hit your head’ like that’s the only reason this is occurring and none of it is either of their faults because that’s the narrative we’re going with and nobody can stop us]

Nancy: [‘punishment’ so seriously, biting your lip a little too hard how people be on the drugs, as if God himself smacked your head into that wall for fucking this boy]

Teddy: [‘you’re a good girl’ as seriously like no I will accept no alternatives at this time, SO gently pulling her lip from out of her teeth with his own and kissing it better like his life depends on it]

Nancy: [kissing him back softly like you’re unsure but you’re doing a happy sigh, vibrating it against his lips and giggling about the sensation ‘it feels so-’ shaking your head dreamily as you’re STARING at his face with your big saucer eyes and trying to think of the word]

Teddy: [‘good too, I know’ because you’re in no state yourself to think of another or better word, holding her face gently in both his hands]

Nancy: [nodding, carrying it on just that shade too long like calm down ‘good, are we good?’ tracing the word on his forehead and his chin and then each cheek, booping his nose like a full stop]

Teddy: [regardless of whether or not being ticklish was a lie, he’s laughing in this moment, likewise a bit too much, lying down on this bathroom floor fully and pulling her into him like they’re a couple in a bed lying side by side] 

Nancy: [‘this is nice’ when this would sound so sarcastic if you weren’t high but you are so it isn’t, snuggling him like there we go, moment complete ‘it’s your birthday now, isn’t it’ because remembering somewhere in the back of your mind that he wanted to take these pills the time he was actually born, humming happy birthday into the skin on his bicep you’re lying on]

Teddy: [‘what time is it?’ dreamily because you have no idea not as a genuine question you’re expecting her to answer but for all you know your bday is over ‘happy birthday to me’ regardless, as something which would likewise sound and be said sarcastically if they weren’t high]

Nancy: [saying the date like that is your birthday, because lord knows you can’t find out the time right now, even though all either of you would have to do is look at your phone, it isn’t gonna register ‘you said I get the best gifts’ beaming here like that was so nice of you]

Teddy: [waving this bracelet around in front of his eyes in that high mesmerised by it manner because he was when he was sober tbh, he loves it ‘this is really’ whether you’re saying it like you mean it’s the best or you just can’t think of a word, irrelevant]

Nancy: [watching it too and going to paw at it, like babies do with their baby gyms or cats with their toys, doing another happy sigh ‘you’re really’ like y’all are speaking in full sentences and you know EXACTLY what he meant ‘cos on the same wavelength]

Teddy: [‘I love everything’ because he do, her, this gift, the moment, all of it, no notes]

Nancy: [‘happy for you, happy for me’ because you really and truly cared about making his birthday better and in general making him happier when you know he ain’t and no one else cares but all of that is too much for you to be able to verbalise in this state so stick with that and give him another really gentle kiss]

Teddy: [have a clumsy but soft makeout sesh about it for a while because what are words when you feel so many things]

Nancy: [when I know you’re probably saying you love him which is risky business because when will this wear off and will you remember, will you pretend you don’t even if you do, lord knows you can’t be held responsible but I’m still like omg]

Teddy: [it’s fine he’d say it back as an ILY too so you’re both equally guilty here, god bless]

Nancy: [winnie says guilty as sin x but at least people will be banging this door to get in as it’s a bathroom and that can be a trigger to bring you down, scowling at the door like excuse me, how very rude as you’re struggling to sit up]

Teddy: [obvs doing his usual and telling these people to go away because it’s his house he can, sounding like you do when you get woken up and are cross about it, literally pulling SUCH a pouty face as if these peeps can see it and will be like oh soz]

Nancy: [y’all are cracking me up, people wanna piss/have bathroom sex/do their own drugs and you’re like wow, whilst we slumber? Shocking behavior, literally shouting ‘no housekeeping’ because you live in a hotel and are clearly a rude bitch lmao]

Teddy: [absolutely iconic from her ‘do slide your drugs under the door though’ as if they will just because it’s your birthday haha]

Nancy: [when no door drugs appear scrunching up your nose like how unforgivable ‘you got a bump or two?’ stretching because you feel as though that might adequately wake you, as if you have been asleep here and not in love]

Teddy: [literally shouting ‘it’s my birthday’ at the door like the audacity to be so rude and unfeeling randoms, you bastards, but then emptying his pockets to frankly hilarious effect when still none appear because god knows what he has in there at this point in the night or how many pockets this outfit even has]

Nancy: [trawling through the things that do appear like what the hell bestie, some of which would be your underwear because gotta still have that somewhere, smirking like he’s some pervert who just stole them and you didn’t give them to him for perverted purposes, tutting at the lack of coke however]

Teddy: [me knowing that he also has the ripped af ones and didn’t just leave them where she did because he’s sentimental like that ‘where’s YOUR bag?’ because for all he knows she literally also left that on the street because he did not care and wasn’t paying attention but the point is where is YOUR coke why am I expected to provide]

Nancy: [when you’ve definitely left it on the street in front of his house because you’re a chaotic slag, at least this gives you the excuse to run out and past these hoes sharpish because need to see if it’s still there lol]

Teddy: [calling after her ‘I’ll buy you new [whatever he remembers being in her bag when he went through it for her cigarettes and his presents respectively]’ fully like leave it and forget it, it’s gone forever bye because he’s so chaotic and wasteful and values nothing, giving why are you running]

Nancy: [inaudibly shouting that it has your blank in it because either acting like this is sentimental or it genuinely is, either way, run and see it’s definitely not there babes]

Teddy: Well?

Nancy: Thank fuck I put my phone in my bra

Teddy: What have you lost? Besides [and the list of what he can remember]

Nancy: Alright, smartypants

Nancy: I didn’t have my cards, or any cash, but they discontinued that shade of lipstick

Teddy: Who? I’ll ask them to make more of it for you

Nancy: You’ll ask [whatever boujee makeup brand this is] to make more, just for me

Teddy: Yes

Nancy: You do make me laugh

Teddy: I’m not joking, I’m emailing them now

Nancy: Are you still high?

Nancy: Let me read it before you send it

Teddy: Hardly high enough to agree to a dyslexic proofreader

Teddy: & no, I want to talk about you

Nancy: Back to your charming self, darling

Teddy: You loathe receiving my compliments

Teddy: [but literally sending her double the amount of money he’s calculated her missing things to be worth so she can rebuy even better versions]

Nancy: No I don’t

Nancy: it’s your birthday

Teddy: Shh, I’m talking to the people who are going to make you a personalised lipstick, if I don’t concentrate it’ll be all wrong

Nancy: but 🥺

Teddy: But 0

Nancy: 🤐  

Teddy: [a pause while he sends the longest emails back and forth just gushing about this girl and genuinely arranging for her to have her own lipstick tailored to all the things he has said because if you have enough money you can do anything]

Teddy: Okay, what was it you wanted to say to me?

Nancy: I missed you

Teddy: What are you doing?

Nancy: Talking to Chlo about James and Ava for you

Teddy: I’m shocked she’s awake, perhaps she’s who we should be asking for our bumps

Nancy: I’m shocked she still has her septum, yeah

Nancy: she’s clearly stewing over what you proposed

Teddy: She’s all too aware she’d dream about me

Nancy: I’ll let you be a bighead

Teddy: Because you’re proud of yourself

Teddy: I’m proud of you too

Nancy: please

Teddy: You know I’m in awe of the things you can make people do

Nancy: Says you, look at this party

Nancy: everyone adores you

Teddy: Birthdays & cash don’t count, they work for everyone

Nancy: So do good looks, so does everything

Teddy: Absolutely, you’re more than your incredible looks though

Nancy: We’re talking about you

Teddy: I’m not

Nancy: I wish I could talk about you 

Teddy: Chlo is famously out of the loop & won’t be none the wiser who [nancy’s bf] is, I’ll be your boyfriend

Nancy: No you won’t

Teddy: You don’t wish you could talk about me then, you liar

Nancy: Talk about you, not an imaginary boyfriend

Teddy: I’d detest giving him credit too, obviously

Nancy: I’m going to get a new one, this isn’t working out

Teddy: [the one gay she got in the middle of] or [the other lol]?

Nancy: A throuple, obviously 🙄

Teddy: They are that co-dependent, true 

Nancy: I don’t need to be in the emotional middle of all that, imagine

Nancy: suppose you’re sticking with the bride

Teddy: You’re much too fond of slurs, for a start

Nancy: If they’re gay they faked it convincingly enough

Teddy: Of course they did, you’re Chlo’s opposite, she flips men one way, you the other

Nancy: Ha, is that what happened

Teddy: Clearly

Nancy: You’ve never been gay, contrary to what you sister might think

Teddy: Why on earth are you being SO uncharacteristically nice to me?

Nancy: You just gave me lots of money, why else

Teddy: I’m not about to take it back

Nancy: Fine, fuck you

Teddy: Third time is supposedly the charm

Nancy: You wish, baby

Nancy: I’m super busy

Teddy: Fine, I’ll occupy myself with finding you a new boyfriend

Nancy: Really?

Teddy: It won’t prove very difficult

Nancy: Are you insulting my standards, all the way down there with yours

Teddy: I was singing your praises, as always

Nancy: Why are YOU being so nice

Teddy: As written above, when am I not?

Nancy: We’re having an amnesty for your birthday, no list today

Teddy: I’ll ask again in [however long until it’s no longer his bday which clearly as far as he’s concerned is when this party ends, which we’re estimating as the time his dad wants him in work], noted

Nancy: You’ll find a distraction before then

Teddy: Undeniably, there’s plenty of money remaining to give to the poker table

Nancy: How much are you down tonight?

Teddy: I’m hurt at your presumption I’m not on a winning streak

Nancy: I know you

Teddy: [tell her how much you are down as if it’s nothing when it’s actually so much]

Nancy: Jesus, you need to go find some more drugs or someone to suck your dick again instead

Teddy: You sound like my sister, money is there to be spent

Nancy: Yeah, in exchange for goods and/or services, darling

Nancy: why do you like losing so much?

Teddy: It’s an act of charity, you aren’t complaining when I’m losing the family fortune to your needs

Nancy: You’re all heart

Teddy: Or perhaps I’m just childish

Nancy: Why not both, dream big

Teddy: It’s your nightmare, not mine

Nancy: What are you talking about?

Teddy: YOU talked about how I’m such a child

Nancy: Hours ago, why are you getting upset about that now

Teddy: I’m not upset

Nancy: You seem it

Teddy: Maybe you can’t read people either

Nancy: You’re thinking about your sister again, you shouldn’t have let me read it if it was going to put you in a mood

Teddy: You’re the one who spiralled, I’m in a fantastic mood

Nancy: I’m very glad

Teddy: [suggest a potential bf, whether you’re being serious or shady who can ever say lol]

Nancy: 💭

Teddy: Yes, I know, my mind

Nancy: No, I mean I’m debating what you’re possibly trying to say with that candidate 

Teddy: Take your time, darling, you evidently find me quite the puzzle

Nancy: Why do you want to pick?

Teddy: You’re busy, I’m not, it isn’t THAT deep, truly

Nancy: Alright, whatever you say

Teddy: If you refuse to take me at my word, what I say is utterly irrelevant

Nancy: I don’t refuse that

Teddy: & yet, I can feel your scepticism through the phone

Nancy: well I did say I wanted an older man and I’m the oldest person at this party so

Teddy: Well, [someone we’re shading] acts ancient, I don’t understand why they even bothered to come 🥱

Teddy: Is [someone who isn’t at the party and we genuinely think she would get with] a more suitable prospect?

Nancy: Their parents are divorcing, home atmosphere is icy, what I’ve heard

Nancy: but perhaps, yes

Teddy: Incredible, theirs can be my new mummy given mine is far too busy

Nancy: Be fair

Nancy: her face isn’t going to keep itself

Teddy: Her face was fine, the issues are psychological 

Nancy: You’re not [however old his mum is/we think she is because you don’t know exactly of course]

Teddy: Neither is she, guess again, except don’t because this is a tedious game

Nancy: Whatever, you’ll care when your hairline recedes, that’s my point

Teddy: I care that it’s my birthday, not that she makes it about her lost youth

Nancy: She’s upset about YOU

Teddy: That crisis will be poised for my leaving home

Nancy: It’ll be revisited, at every milestone, of course

Teddy: Quite

Nancy: But you won’t move out for ages, you have it too good

Teddy: Only for the renovations, not that there will be anywhere near enough, the guests are slacking

Nancy: A second act is required

Teddy: I have to do EVERYTHING myself, it seems

Teddy: give my love to my sister-in-law, the people need their king

Nancy: Good luck

Nancy: I’ve avoided mentioning you thus far

Teddy: Well done 👏

Nancy: You act as if I’m obsessed

Teddy: Aren’t you?

Nancy: Only in the one way

Nancy: don’t worry

Teddy: I didn’t dress you as my bride

Nancy: I know

Nancy: I saw the posts before she deleted them

Teddy: Screenshots live forever

Nancy: A LOT of people were filming once she arrived, the shame isn’t going anywhere

Teddy: As it shouldn’t

Nancy: I don’t think you like me, not like that

Teddy: I wouldn’t enjoy humiliating you, no

Teddy: except in your previously mentioned one way

Nancy: That goes without saying

Teddy: Nevertheless, I’ve said it

Nancy: I knew you were angry with me

Nancy: thinking about all the ways you could take it out on me

Teddy: I was & I did, it’s my parents turn right now

Nancy: Okay, see you on the other side, maybe

Teddy: [go and cause some more absolute carnage hun, soz to his parents]

Nancy: [I don’t feel hugely sorry for you but we know a lot of damage in property and cash is being done here on this day, they’re gonna be livid lol, eventually when you’ve laid enough groundwork with Chlo, you can come in and join in with whatever is going down in this gaff]

Teddy: [and I deffo don’t feel sorry for Chlo haha, we love to see the teamwork though because clearly too many people at this party are too out of it by this point and don’t have the stamina]

Nancy: [like they are correct but also they are completely stirring so you know lol, y’all are having a lovely time just getting to ruin everything here and now]

Teddy: [even a broken clock as they say, hence I’m letting you have java even if nobody believes you rn lol, if this was a film what a montage that would be, the peak romance of y’all causing and standing amongst actual wreckage, go and properly sort the dad blackmail/humiliation of it all as well because you took the pictures but then got distracted]

[nonbinary-hacker]

Idk why I, a meme blog, have decided to get on a soapbox about this all of the sudden but you know what, here we go.

Why is it that when there’s any mention of various countries (frequently Britain and Canada, but others as well) in a critical context, or even in a joking sense, the first reaction is to jump to the point of Americans being stupid, fat, lazy, etc.? Don’t get me wrong, America has Problems, but no people are a monolith, and the US isn’t the only one with a bad track record. Yes, America is incredibly corrupt and only masquerades as a “free” country. I’m not making excuses for any of that. But to claim it’s the only one is revisionist and honestly irresponsible. In the spirit of openness, I’m gonna address things here so I don’t have to in the future.

Yes, America has a gun problem. But using “ha ha well at least our kids don’t get shot at school” as an escalation to friendly teasing isn’t the gotcha you think it is. Especially if it’s followed by the “well you shouldn’t have voted them in then”. Who. Who did I personally vote in. Was it when I was a toddler? Earlier? Let me know because if I was there in 1787 when the second amendment was drafted up then I’m sure scientists would be thrilled to know. And it also shows that you have no clue how our electoral system works, since the majority of voters can be in favor of something, only for it to be denied, or vice versa.

Yes, America has a problem as the tenth most obese country in the world. But a lot of that comes down to the lack of access to healthcare and healthy food in areas where fast food and less healthy alternatives are cheaper. “Well it’s not hard if you meal prep and budget right and buy organic and try this detox te-” shut the fuck up. Managing a minimum wage (or lower because that’s a thing) job with raising children, and feeding a family doesn’t always leave enough time to focus on healthy eating. And food deserts are shockingly common, especially in predominantly poor neighborhoods and for people of color.

Yes, America has a problem with healthcare. But in a country where people would rather take painkillers than go to a hospital when they have a serious illness because they can’t afford the bill, people are more afraid of the hospital than the actual injury.

Yes, the American education system isn’t great, but point to Montana on a map without looking it up. New Mexico. What’s the capital of New York? It’s not New York City. Our states are the size of most countries. As far as math and science, I’d argue that we can compete on a global scale. Ignorance comes from everywhere, not just here. I’ve also never actually met someone who thinks that London is a country, or that the sun turns off at night. I’m sure they exist somewhere, but there’s an equal chance they’re in your town as they are in mine.

Point is, we get it. I get it. I wrote this entire thing because I get it. But I’m also fucking tired. Using murdered children to win an internet battle when someone jokes about how you stole shit for a museum is,,,honestly just sad. Making jokes or talking about shit you know nothing about isn’t helpful to anyone. It’s not as easy as voting them out, or a glorious revolution. Expand the depth of your knowledge on the subject before you start shit. And check your own hands before you say shit about the blood on ours. We’re aware of the horrendous shit our country’s done. It’s broadcast 24/7. Just because yours isn’t on the global news doesn’t mean it isn’t happening.

A lot of us are scared about the upcoming election, doubly so if we’re PoC, queer, disabled, etc. A lot of us are facing some very grim realities right now, and we’re terrified. We don’t need the constant reminders of how fucking bad we have it.

[ashtcnirwin]

excuse me, i'm just gonna jot down some post-tour/-trip musings, mainly for myself tbh, i don't think any of it is gonna be interesting to anyone else

that sounds very negatively loaded, doesn't it? it's not, it's just random thoughts about misc tour-/trip-related things

i'm so fucking grateful that we ended up doing the london show despite having decided pre-tour date drop to avoid london if we could. not only was it my second favourite show i attended on this tour but i also finally got a chance to meet leesh in person after ten fucking years of knowing each other and it was amazing. and also the o2 was overall an amazing venue. like, i knew it was iconic ofc but i didn't know it was this whole thing with a damn shopping mall and food places and bars and whatnot inside the building itself. it was also just a very pleasant venue to be at tbh, like it was spacious and the air quality was good and the lines were never horrific for anything we needed

english love affair was the dice song i desperately wanted to see performed at least once. i got it three times and it was perfect cos i got the first ever live performance of it, i got what very well might be the last ever live performance of it, and i got it in london

in hindsight, i'm thoroughly astounded that neither me nor amanda succumbed to exhaustion in any way at any point, cos we were going full speed for almost two weeks, we both got sick, we were constantly going from one place to another, always having somewhere we needed to be, be it a train station or an airport or a show, often running on very little or straight up no sleep, and occasionally on less than ideal types of food. and despite all that, we managed to do what we set out to do, which was to not waste a single moment and see and experience as much as we could in every place we went to, and we did it without fighting or even arguing unless a couple of small disagreements that were settled by compromise within five minutes count. i don't think there's another person on earth i could have done something like that with without losing my will to live at some point. that includes my boyfriend, tho admittedly that's mainly because he would've been miserable on that type of trip

sorta related to the previous point: i've experienced it before with other people but it's always interesting to me how certain types of situations/experiences/whatever will truly bring out people's strengths and weaknesses. and in mine and amanda's cases, it seems that we balanced each other extremely well on that front, like...my weaknesses were her strengths and vice versa. which ig isn't that much of a surprise when i think about it and what we're like as people but it never occurred to me beforehand, it's something i'm only realising now

i really wonder what happened with the soundcheck schedule in budapest cos in the email i got, it said that check-in started at 3pm, so we got there a little before 3, at which point it turned out that check-in had started at the normal 1:30pm time, which we only found out by chance really. kinda tempted to send funcode hungary an email and ask, not cos it matters but cos i'm curious

our hotel in manchester had one of those bathrooms that's basically just a glass cube. thankfully it was frosted glass but there was no real door, just a stall door type of thing, like there were gaps at the top and bottom, and it also didn't lock or anything, and tbh it wasn't as much a problem as it was just really fucking funny but alsoooo amanda made a comment about how awkward it would be if two coworkers were sharing that room and i don't remember which one of us said that heyyyy that's some solid ficspo but bottom line is that i wanna write that fic

more of a not-entirely-positivity-loaded note to myself to keep in mind in the future than an actual musing: the mental toll it takes on me to be "trapped" in my spot in the pit between soundcheck and the actual show is severe enough that i don't think i wanna do it again. or, no, i wanna do soundcheck and i wanna do pit, but i don't wanna do the thing where i go in for soundcheck and stay rooted in my spot for the rest of the night. had i been a little taller, it probably would've been 100% worth it cos in terms of distance to the stage it's fucking great to be row 4-5-6, but the thing is that while i had an amazing time at the shows i did soundcheck at this round, i'm of very average height, which essentially means that to have a good view in the pit, i either have to be row 1, 2 or 3, or far enough back that i can easily see over everyone's heads. or be extremely lucky and have the people in front of me be 5'1'' or shorter ig. so being row 4-5-6 mostly leads to a constant struggle to see anything, which is exhausting and annoying

[harrysmimi]

Sugar

Synopsis: One where YN is dragged along by Harry for Coachella but she ain't complaining

CW: smut

More of my work

YN never expected to ever step a foot outside of London until she has graduated and spent at least fifteen years of her life practicing Law until Harry asked her - no basically dragged her along with him to LA.

Who was Harry to her you may ask? He didn't liked the title but it is the truth that he's basically her sugar daddy.

He liked to say he is sponsoring her education for nothing in return. And it is also true that he hasn't gotten anything in return. Yet. Nor he expects it.

What an amazing sugar daddy he is!

But it eats away at YN's mind and heart seeing how much he spends on her. Her tuition fees and textbooks eat majority of what he spends on her. His hard earned money, he spent all his teenage years earning to be spent on her like pouring water into a river - it was pointless.

And exactly, it made no sense!

Not to her, when he doesn't expect anything in return from her, like other sugar daddies do, he expects no sexual favours or even public outing in return. But she was drowning in debt from her car loan, student loan and she was three months behind her rent and was just two days away from getting evicted from the flat she has been living in since she was eighteen. Her two jobs she worked weren't enough to get her by, even if she cut down on most essential things.

When and how Harry came as her saviour? How has her life been before they met each other? Those are stories for another time.

But she is really in fear of when his mood would strike and he'd ask her to suck his dick off for him, or fuck her to oblivion. Well, he doesn't seem that kind of guy but she has got major trust issues. Especially since this guy she dated tried to take her advantage when she was drunk her ass off, luckily for her that night her friends were with her. But men her whole life have been very unpredictable to her.

Apart from making out a couple of time, her and Harry haven't done anything. That too with her consent. He doesn't even holds her hand without asking her. He's nothing but just so kind, and nurturing, and caring, and soft, and calm, and patient, and the list goes on. But could it be a mask for something which doesn't or wouldn't favour her.

One thing she takes with her into getting in her career is fo never trust anyone. That's what she has been doing her whole life. She learned to never trust anyone at the very tender age of six.

Harry has, no doubt become first constant in her life. If not anything more he's a good friend. A very good friend, she might add.

And spoiler alert, she would admit that she has fallen for him hard.

There was a big internal turmoil she found herself in as she stepped on that private get with him that night. It was scary because she doesn't remember being on a plane, let alone a private jet with sofa like seats.

But she tried to negotiate in not going to LA with him. She fears. She fears of dying somewhere and her friends being unknown of that. What if he is a serial killer as well as a global star? You never know!

"But what about DumDum?" She asked, packing a duffle bag Harry got her last minute with a sweater and other small things as her only suitcase she own is full and very small for a two week long trip. "I can't leave him alone."

"That cat will be taken care of, sugar, don't worry about him." Harry sighed as he sat patiently on the edge of her bed.

"He is not just a cat, he is my son!" YN argued as she threw everything of makeup she owns in a small pouch. Yes she found that black ball of purring fur beside a dumpster not even a month ago, but she loves him very much - and the feelings are mutual! "Where is he going?"

"To the cat hostel." He shrugged.

"You are not sending my baby to a hostel. He is too young!" She gasped, "maybe, I shouldn't go. He needs me here."

"You are making bad excuses, Sugar, now stop stalling, we have to leave in ten minutes." Harry chuckled as he got up to gather the rest lf her stuff, her carry on bag pack he sees her carry everywhere she goes and her suitcase, and even put DumDum in his carrier. "There is a surprise for you there, come on now."

YN stood there on the other side of her bed, with a nervous and scared face, making him ask, "do you trust me?"

"No," she mumbled under her breath.

"What was that?" He enquired.

"I said, I can't afford the trip." She gulped, nervously. Harry kept the bag aside and set DumDum's carrier carefully on the floor before he walked upto her.

"Look, I won't force you anymore." He assured her, "wanted to keep this a surprise but, since you won't trust me. I'm taking you there with me is because Billie Eilish is performing there, and I can take you to watch her."

"What?"

"Mhmm," he nodded, "you appear to like her a lot, so yeah, I thought that would be a good early present for m'kitten."

"Wait, I, I don't like her." YN stuttered, deadass lying on his face but all he did was look down.

She was dressed Billie Eilish merch, a large Tshirt and sweat pants. There was a poster of the girl on her wall and her album vinyls too, even though she doesn't have a record player.

Harry also remembers her running back home after finding the things she's wearing at a thrift store, ranting and squealing about it and how good of a steal it was to both her best friends on a phone call as he waited for her to let him in with her.

Harry sent off DumDum with his other manager Tommy to be signed into a cat hostel.

To focus on one thing, YN is very nervous to fly in a plane for basically first time. It was killing her soul. She just sat there, looking like a scared little puppy in a corner seat when she got to know she can sit wherever she pleases.

"Hey, what's wrong love?" Harry asked.

"I'm just nervous to be on a plane." She shared, a sheepish smile on her face. He sat next to her.

"Here, you can hold my hand. But you've got nothing to worry about." He assured her, "our pilot is amazing, he's flown me many times around the world." He strapped her seat belt for her as she was fiddling with it.

"Oh, has he?"

"Mhmm." Harry nodded, "so it's okay, I know you worry a lot." He went to put on his own seatbelt.

"You're lying." She deadpanned.

"About what I'm lying you think?"

"That you know the pilot." She squinted her eyes at him, "Harry don't lie to me about this, it is going to make me more anxious. I might literally throw up on the floor."

He chuckled, "my love, wouldn't lie about this. I care about you, so of course I don't lie. Not to you at least."

"So you do lie?"

"What about we watch your favourite movies?" He suggested to distract her switching the subject.

Once about halfway to LA, YN was still anxious.

"YN, it's okay, love." Harry cooed, "I'm sorry I forced you to come along with me."

"No, I'm fine." She sniffled on her tears, taking in deep breaths.

Harry was genuinely feeling bad for dragging her along with him. He wasn't aware of her this fear or he would have never even mention it twice to her. All eight months he have spent with her, he'd come to conclusion that she's naturally very anxious person, that she is paranoid most of the time.

"We're almost there," he assured her. "I'm sorry again, love."

"Harry, no, it's okay." She cooed in attempt to make him feel better about this. It wasn't his fault that she's scared of her first time on a plane since she was a toddler. It was no one's fault.

"Do you want to get pizza after we land?" He asked, she loves pizza more than anything.

"I'd like that." She nodded.

"Thought so," he smiled pressing a kiss of her head.

There was definitely something reciprocated from his side, or at least that's what she likes to think about. The way he looks at her doesn't fail to make her skin heat up, or the way he call her all his sweet names. Her favourite was Bunny or Kitten.

Her friends would argue otherwise that it was normal for her fall for him when they're sleeping together and he's essentially taking care of her in a way, which isn't entirely true. He hasn't touched her in that way. Though she could feel the sexual tension in the room they're in.

Like now, as she sat next to him, hugging his arm as he read his book silently. He's a big reader she reckoned. He's always reading some or other book. She can never do that. He pulls it off too, with a pair of reading glasses perched up on his perfect nose.

She didn't realise when she fell asleep, but Harry woke her after they landed, she is indeed a heavy sleeper as he says. She didn't wake up when their plane landed.

"Did you had a good sleep, babylove?" He enquired, a sleepy look on his own face as he smiled at her.

"Yeah," she nodded smiling back. Harry leaned down to press another kiss on her head.

"C'mon love, let's go to our hotel now." He grabbed her stuff for her like a true gentleman he is out of the plane and handed it to one his guard so it can be put into the car.

YN was expecting a different room for herself but Harry had different plans she reckoned, they'd have to share a room. A suite to be exact, which was so fucking luxurious it made her own rented one bedroom flat like a dumpster in comparison.

It had it's own kitchen, a living room, a balcony, bedroom and en suite bathroom, a whole ass walk in closet! The sofa looked so luxurious she wouldn't mind switching it up with her bed at home.

"Are we going to share a room?" She asked.

"Sorry I didn't tell you about it, but yes, there are no more suites available whilst our stay here on this floor." Harry shared.

"Oh," was her reaction.

"Can get you different room on another floor if you're ot comfortable." He suggested.

"It's fine, I guess." She shrugged dropped her carry on bag on the floor as she checked out the room. She doesn't want him to spend on another room for no reason. She so badly wanted to jump on the bed and do a bounce test but she was afraid to break the frame as everything looked so expensive.

Her friends would have gone nuts at the site of this room alone, destroy the perfectly made bed in a matter of minutes. She'd join them too, without any hesitation!

Just as she was about to go to the balcony she felt a tug on her hand. Harry had pulled her in, he took a seat on the edge of the bed they were to share for their entire trip. He trapped her between his thighs, making her sit on his lap. It wasn't a new thing for him to be physical with her, she quite liked it. Afterall she's been deprived of physical touch with human her whole life, so she'd shamelessly indulge into his cuddles, and even sweet little kisses.

This all had no label to it, as he doesn't like the idea of giving their relationship a label of Sugar Daddy and Sugar baby. He hates that for some reason. Maybe she can call it friends with benefits? But they're lacking the benefits part to the major on his side.

She grabbed a gentle hold of his hand which was wrapped around her waist from behind to her side, he wasn't wearing his usual rings so it was easier for her slip her fingers between his. Feeling his warm palm against her own gave her a sense of security in some way. Which she doubts is healthy, to be dependent on someone like this, her therapist would agree to that if she even had one. But she doesn't care.

"Do you want to go get dinner tonight with me?" He asked.

"Mhmm," she nodded.

"What do you feel like eating, sugar?" He spoke, his mouth closer to her skin of her neck as he peppered her with ticklish kisses.

"I don't know," she shrugged, smiling, "I'll tell you when I decide."

"Yeah? I was going to say we go eat some Lebanese food?" He suggested, lifting his head up to look at her. He knows that's her favourite cuisine to have, the look on her face was what he was expecting.

"Yes!" She beamed.

"Thought you'd like the idea." He teased, "do you want to rest whilst I get few things sorted for the show tomorrow?"

"I'm fine, I'll just go take a shower." She said.

"Okay," he kissed her cheek, "wear something pretty for tonight, yeah?"

She just nodded dumbfounded. He has never asked her to wear something "pretty" before. It was not something she was expecting coming from him. What did he meant by that? Something pretty on the outside or inside?

She was going to embarrass herself if he meant something pretty inside with her granny panties.

She decided to stick to her usual regardless. She didn't packed anything necessarily pretty thinking she's not going to need any as being their normal self was something she was actually expecting.

None the less, the dinner was amazing!

"Harry, no!" She whined when she stole a Felafel from her plate, so in return she stole a Kebab from him.

"You're stealing."

"You started it."

And they play argued about it all night. Going back and forth from stealing from each other's plates, but ending up sharing anyway. Harry decided they walk back to their hotel, he was quite liking the weather he said.

He loves to walk, and she's not used to that much walking but she isn't going to complain because she is having an amazing time. By the end of the night, YN stopped him halfway on their way back to hotel to take off her heeled shoes.

"Here lemme do it," he crouched in front of her, placing her hand he had in his on his shoulder as he proceeded to take off her shoes for her.

"Harry you don't have-"

"Shush!" He sounded, "do you want to wear mine?"

"No, I can walk barefoot." She said, "thank you," watching him so focused in untying her shoes and not getting the lace tangled was so adorable to her. A stray curl managed to plop out of the mop of hair he had gelled down earlier to keep tame, he needed a hair cut he said but honestly she liked his hair like that. It was a bummer she did not felt she had the right to tell him that she should maybe opt not to cut it, she is not his girlfriend after all.

She tried to take her shoes from him but he did let her as he grabbed her hand with his free one again stood up.

"No problem," he pressed a soft kiss on the full of her mouth.

"Harry, we're on a street." She reminded her as he started walking again. All of a sudden he was now tall again to her being flat on her feet again.

"Are you afraid of PDA?" He scoffed confusedly.

"No, but allegedly you've got a girlfriend, you can't be caught like this." YN said.

"I could care less about it." Sighing, he draped his arm around her shoulder as he pulled her closer to him. Instead of feeling remorse she gave into the warmth radiating from him, she wouldn't want to be involved with him if he were in a relationship, it's just those PR articles which made her feel bad sometimes.

Once back in the hotel room, Harry let her go finally so she can get ready for bed.

"When did you get these?" Harry asked placing her shoes on aside.

"They're my friend's I borrowed for this trip." YN shared.

YN was having a good day, she decided as she managed to wash her make-up off without getting anything in her eyes and having a burning eye until morning. Her hair was acting amazingly. Her PJs felt more comfy tonight. The sheets on their bed were changed she noticed, they were nice and cold and cosy when she got under waiting for Harry who was taking way too long, she was going to fall asleep then and there.

"Did you had a good time today?" Harry asked when he got out of the shower, agressively rubbing his hair dry with his microfiber towel, a pair of basketball short hung on his hips. These little things about him were making her fall hard for him, uncontrollably.

It was going to be hard on her when things come to end with him eventually in future she reckoned. But she was going to cherish every moment of it till it lasts, she also decided.

"Don't rub on your hair like that!" She exclaimed. He just shrugged and threw his towel on the spare chair with rest of his random clothes there and got in bed next to her. He's a messy one and it for sure trigger her OCD in some matters.

"Why did you ask me to wear something pretty?" YN asked, catching him off guard. She isn't this unpredictable.

"Why? Are you wearing something pretty?" He counter questioned, brows furrowed in anticipation.

"No!" She had a sheepish look on her face, regretting ever asking that question, "I didn't bring anything pretty with me." That earned a heart chuckle from him.

"I don't expect you to, sugar okay?" He assured her. "I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable asking that."

"You just caught me off guard." She not so subtly scooted closer to him, "it's okay."

"Yeah?" He sounded, taking her in his arms gladly, "I wouldn't mind seeing you in something pretty you know? You look pretty in anything in my opinion."

"Shush, stop it now go to sleep you've got a show tomorrow." She put an end to this conversation. She is embarrassed okay!

......................................................................

YN felt left out most of the time when she's surrounded by people Harry have known for years. All of them are older than her. She doesn't know many of them. Most of them look at her like she's some alien. Just the girls from the love band really put in effort to be nice to her and actually talk to her kindly from Harry's team. Especially Harry's manager and his wife and his pretend partner gave her constant side eyes. She feel out of place.

She didn't wanted to be there. She felt cold of a sudden, maybe it was the skimpy crop top she wore today deciding it's going to be hot. She even tried to distract herself by going to the Pleasing store there and even getting her nails done even though she never liked it one bit. It made everything worse when she saw Harry having lunch with the woman she felt so jealous of, for a few pictures whilst she was gone. He then was dragged over for the sound check for the night.

She'd put so much effort into her look today for the first time in life. She wore the crop top she crocheted herself, even did her makeup, red eyeliner with cherries and strawberries under each one winged out pigment she spent and hour drawing this morning. But now she just wanted to and bury herself in piles of blankets and disappear from the face of the planet.

"Harry?" YN went over to him when he was done. She grabbed onto the hem of the yellow Pleasing hoodie he was wearing to tug on it to get his attention.

"Yes, my love?" He gave her his undivided attention without any hesitation, "you look so red, did you not put on any sunscreen, baby?" He was already dragging her to the shade by his trailer she thought but instead he took her inside. "Are you okay?"

"I want to go back to our hotel." She said, looking for her carry on she left somewhere.

"Are you okay?" He repeated his question.

"I just want to go back, I don't want to be here. Does it look like I am okay?" She snapped panicking to find her bag so she can leave.

"Hey, hey, sit down here." He made her sit on the sofa there, "what is going on? It's alright, you know you can tell me, baby." He assured her, "you trust me?"

"I just don't like the way they treat me." She admitted. He watched as the corners of her mouth started tucking down with a sad pout becoming more prominent as she tried to hold back her tears.

"Who are they you're talking about, sugar?" He really got worried, because he wouldn't want anyone to treat someone who's become so dearly precious to him badly. Especially given the setting of things they had agreed verbally upon to be in with one another. "Is it just one person?"

"I don't want to name any names, Harry, I just want to be alone now." She really seemed on the edge of a breakdown now. "Find my bag please?" She now felt the heat her body was disguising during her moment of panic, she started sweating all of a sudden, her lips have turned white till then.

"I'm not letting you be alone like this, look at you." He sighed, quickly fetching her a bottle of water from the portable fridge. He had never seen her like this since he first saw her at the bar in the hallway to the bathroom about to pass out, that's how he met her, took her out to the fresh air and gave her water. She wasn't crying that night but she was in same state of anxiety.

"No, I just want to go back." She mumbled quietly.

"C'mere." He ushered her towards him wrapping her up in his arms once again. She was quick to bury her face in his chest, even sobbing when she felt the weight of his hand on the back of her head caressing her hair. That one gesture made every anxious feeling she carried about him and her in a second. "Hey it's okay." He decided it's better to have that moment until she calms down herself. "Do you want to tell me what happened?"

"Not now." She shook her head.

"You still want to go back to hotel?" He asked.

"Yes, please!"

"Okay, come on we'll get you there now, yeah?"

Despite her protesting that she can go by herself, Harry drove her to the hotel himself. Made sure she was still doing okay before he left for the show tonight.

"YN, you feeling okay now?" He asked. She has been lying in bed from past three hours with AC on full blast with the blanket pulled over to her ear with her back faced to him.

She was feeling horrible. For having a sudden breakdown whilst he was just trying to work. She did not expected to have this kind of reaction to hear Jamie, his pretend girlfriend and his manager Jeffery, talk shit about her behind her back like that. She has bad that happen to her all her life. This one got to her because those were complete strangers to her with very false assumptions about her. Her mind was racing again.

Maybe she should just...

"YN, talk to me baby." She was interrupted by Harry, she could feel his warmth and weight on her upper bod. Realising he was leaning onto her as if to hug her. He likes his hugs and never compromises on them, but he's heavy even though he appears to be dainty and delicate in person. He's six feet tall for gods sake and her five and half feet body could take so much of that weight.

"You're heavy." She mumbled.

"Oh, I'm sorry." He chuckled moving away just enough so she can trun on her back, "you're feeling okay now?"

"A little." She nodded, earning herself an affectionate kiss on the apple of her cheek.

"You want to come see me then at the show?" He asked, hopeful that she'd go because he's got a tiny surprise for her.

"I don't know." She said hesitantly. "I'm sorry."

"You want to tell me why, hm? Never seen you cry like that before, sugar, is everything okay?" He requested, stressing on the subject a bit more. He knew someone was being rude and mean to her and he needed to know who it was.

"I heard Jamie and Jeffery talking about how I'm taking advantage of you, and I'm hogging all your money. You just don't see that according to them." She blurt out feeling safe to be vulnerable enough to share how she was truly feeling and what and who made her feel that way, "I just don't want to deal with that and please don't say anything to either them. I want to stay in. That really made me upset because somewhere it's the truth."

"Oh my little love," he sighed, "that's not true. No one can tell me what to do with my earnings, you're not hogging all of it, okay? Don't let get to you please? No one can tell you what you feel is wrong or what you do is wrong unless you're not hurting anyone. You're the kindest and sweetest one I've met in painfully long time, I've never once felt that you're taking advantage of me. In fact if it were anyone else they'd probably ask for more than what I have to offer, you put up a fight against me if I try to get you something, that's enough for me to trust you, okay? What we have is not anyone's business to talk about but us."

"Since we're being vulnerable here, I want to tell you that you become very precious to me. I've grown to care about you." He grabbed her hand in a gentle hold, as he pushed her hair out her face with his free hand. "I am sorry for not listening to you here, but I'm going to have a conversation about this with Jeffery. He's my friend doesn't mean he can talk shit about people I care for, okay?"

"Okay." She nodded, "thank you. And I'm sorry. I promise I'll return you every penny I've borrowed once I have a proper job after graduation. And ehm-"

"Don't talk about that." He interrupted her, "now do you still want to stay in here? I was hoping you'd come see me play, Shania Twain is performing with me."

That made her freeze there. She's been obsessed with Shania Twain since she met Harry, he introduced her to the artist and she's never stopped listening to her since. But she'd still rather stay in than even see Jamie's face for saying those disgusting things about her which Harry doesn't know and will never know.

"I'll watch it from here." She suggested, "I just really don't want to go there, want to be alone."

"Okay, I won't force you." He agreed, "you want me to order you something for dinner?"

"I think I'll go out to this restaurant I saw," she shrugged, "before your performance starts."

"You promise you're going to eat?" He asked.

"I promise." She held out her small pinky making him giggle, he wrapped his own around hers and kissed it to seal their promise.

"You got your nails done?" He beamed seeing her red and baby teal blue shade, "even like your makeup and this pretty top you made. You're so talented, baby." He leaned down to pepper her face with sloppy wet kisses, making her giggle, "I am gonna steal it from you."

"I'll make you one so we can match." She suggested.

"Yeah?" He looked at her, "I'd love that, kitten."

"I think you should go before you manager calls you." She reminded him. He dropped his head low sighing, their cheeks touching each other she could feel his stubble poke against her skin.

He didn't wanted to leave her alone!

"Don't wait up for me, okay? I'll leave as soon as I am done." He mumbled before lifting himself up from her finally, press a tender kiss on her mouth and then on the corner of her lips.

"Okay." She nodded.

......................................................................

Harry came back by around half past one, found the bedroom lights in the suite turned off. But he saw a yellowed blue-light of phone illuminating YN's face there as she lied on their shared bed texting.

"Hi lovie, you didn't sleep?" He walked over to her not bothering to turn on the lights and ruin the calm atmosphere she had created in there.

"No, I was talking to Brielle. She said your performance was amazing." YN shared as she sat up and locked her phone when he sat next to her there.

"Thank her from me." He smiled, "I'll go and shower, okay? Be with you in ten."

"Take your time." She said. He was still wearing the outfits he wore whilst performing, "I really like your outfit."

"Thank you baby, I knew you're gonna like it." He beamed glanced down at his outfit once. "Go to bed now, we're going out tomorrow morning."

"Mhmm." She nodded, "I want a kiss."

"C'mere then," with his hand behind her neck he drew her closer to him with a tilt to her head, he connected their mouths together. Keeping it short and sweet for now he pulled away but got a kiss on his cheek. "Is that enough to hold you off till I shower?"

"Mhmm." She nodded again, he pressed another little peck on her mouth before retrieving entirely.

"I'll be back, yeah?" He ran to shower gathering a change of clothes, just a pair of boxers and basketball shorts he liked to wear to bed.

He looked very happy. He sang songs from his new album tonight which she's heard before, he played the album to her after he was fully done by it to get her views on it as she hardly listened to his music. Seeing that dimpled smile of his warmed her heart so much.

She got out of bed to go fetch the little chocolate cake pastries she got for dessert but saved to share it with. She did went out to get dinner, ate some nice Gnocchi, on her way back she stopped at a bakery to get the last slice of chocolate cake. It's been sitting in the mini fridge of the hotel room since. She was proud of herself to say the least for going out on her own and ordering for herself. Ordering her meals or coffee gave her serious anxiety, resulting her to more home cooked meal which took pride in, but when she was feeling shit and didn't wanted to cook she'd just had settle on a pizza she'd order from an application so she wouldn't have to talk to a person on a phone call. She was feeling shit today but still made an effort to go out herself.

"Did you get dinner baby?" He asked as he came out of the shower, towel drying his hair quite vigorously.

"Yes. And I got us cake!" She announced earning a confused glance from him. "What?"

"You really went out?" He asked even though the cake from a bakery was very big evidence she did. "There was nothing charged on my card."

"You gave me your card three months to get you coffee on my way back from errands once and refuse to take back doesn't mean I'm going to use it." She proceeded to take out a slice of cake for herself from the box because it looked so fucking delicious and she couldn't wait, he went back in the bathroom for some reason.

"I gave it to you for the exact reason. Haven't yet got the time to get you one with your name." He sat next to her, dipping his head down he have a kiss on her cheek. "I am so proud of you for going out on your own, sugar." It was the truth. She'd only go out to eat when with him (or her best friend Brielle a handful of times), he ordered for her everytime knowing pretty well she'd rather stall all night that actually talk to a waiter to tell them what she wants to eat at their restaurant.

"Thank you." She smiled. "Did you had your dinner?"

"Mhmm." He nodded, proceeded to ask, "What else did you do today?"

"I stayed in bed and watched you perform. Shania looked so pretty!" She shared. "Also did a little face mask."

"Without me?" A little upset pout took over his lips.

"We can do one tomorrow." She suggested taking his faux-upset look to heart, but he grinned not bothering to correct her adorable concern. She offered him a bite of the cake on the one-time-use wooden spoon which he gladly accepted, she got it for both of them to share. "It's so good, isn't it?" She searched his face for a reaction excitedly.

"It is baby." He agreed. "Too sweet for me though, you can have the rest."

By the time she finished up her cake she filled him with the tea of this on going drama in her friend circle. Apparently one of her classmate got pregnant with the guy who she was cheating on her boyfriend with, now the guy doesn't want to be involved in the scene by all mean and with all his rights and it's created his huge entertaining drama around it. Her friend Brielle takes in huge interest in gossips. And that why even though YN's known the girl her whole life she doesn't tell her more than just a few bullet points with anything Harry and her related. She respects his privacy and doesn't want her friend to go and accidentally spill all the information to everyone. Though she haven't yet told anyone about YN and Harry, which is a good thing that she promises to keep it the same way.

Harry threw her the trash for her watching her mood lifted from earlier today. He did had a talk with Jamie and Jeffery after the show though.

"Oh, I have a few things to show you." YN remembered watching Harry get in bed with her, "where is my phone?" She looked around.

"I don't know?" He looked under the blanket and pillows.

"Maybe I left it outside." She got out of bed and ran out to look for her phone.

Harry didn't know if she really remembers what she's wearing considering it's three in the morning. It was pretty rare for her to prance around like that just in a pair of panties and one of his shirts which is always too large for her somehow. She just runs away to put on a pair of pants when he's around and he respects that though he wouldn't mind.

"I saw this man walking his cat on a leash." She spoke entering the room with her phone in her hands, her pretty face illuminated under the blue light as she searched for something she wants to show him. "I want to train DumDum like this."

"Do you want to get in bed with me first, sweet girl?" He suggested, eyeing her up and down and then up again. Caught. She looked down at her state of clothing, the shirt barely covered her ass.

"I'll go put some pants on, sorry," she kept her phone on the side table in hurry. She didn't mind what she wore, she's grown to love her body, she liked to go to bed properly clothed in respect to Harry when he's around. It might make him uncomfortable, there are chances. She respects his personal space and boundaries like he does.

"It's alright sweet girl, c'mere, it's hot for you to sleep in sweats. I don't mind come on." He urged her. "I'm half naked too."

"Go put a shirt on!" Her fake scold sent him into a fit of laugh that he missed watching her snuggle up next to him. She showed him the pictures and videos she took of the cat she was talking about, apparently he was named Sushi and was there ar the shushi restaurant next to the one YN went to eat Shushi. "He's going to love your song Music For Sushi Restaurant."

"Mhmm, I wrote that so g about him." Harry pointed out, "look he's got green eyes." He zoomed in on the picture of the cat making YN giggled, she locked her phone and kept it away to get under blanket with him. Harry couldn't help but get a peek at the baby blue of her cotton panties she was wearing. He just pulled her in a bear cuddle letting her use his bicep as a pillow wrapping his free arm around her waist. His nose skimming against her, he closed his eyes feeling her soft breaths warm up his skin. "What happened today, won't happen again baby. Not on my watch, okay?"

"I'm okay now." She assured him, "it just hurt in that moment."

"I want you to tell me of it happens again." He said with a firm tone, "won't tolerate it again."

"I will." She pressed a tender kiss with all lovely feelings she has harboured for him during their time together as she proceeded to snuggle into him their cheeks pressed together in feathery contact. She could feel his hand wander lower and lower, over the expanse of her bum and back up sneaking under her shirt a little, it was set into pattern now.

"You're comfortable?" He asked, she knew exactly about what and it had her nodding her head gently. She liked the way he was touching her, it was first but she was already addicted. He's never gone this far ahead touching her affectionately before, so it was pretty intimate for her. Last two days spent with him without going out for work or anything, she felt safe with him. Her fear of chances of him being a secret serial killer had vanished just today though it didn't kill all of her anxiety, it is going to take time for her.

His wandering hand snuck under her shirt feeling adventurous running up her side over her tummy, she suddenly didn't felt uncomfortable with her not-flat stomach. Letting him to whatever was best decision, she decided as it was making all happy feelings having a firework in her skull. It only got more as she felt butterflies floating up to her brain processing brushes of his lips on her neck and shoulder. Feeling tingly in between her legs she squirmed under his touch there.

YN was pushed gently to lay on her back with his hands under her head even though there was a fluffy pillow to protect her. She cracked open her eyes to find him hovering over her, close enough to feel his soft exhales on her skin. His hand still under her shirt slowly creeping up to rest to her ribs closer to the swells of her breast before he stopped. The lack of another layer of clothing under her shirt added just more to his anticipation and cravings of her, even though he's never had in this way before.

"This okay?" He asked, earning just a nod from her, "I'm gonna need words baby, yes or not?"

"Yes." She rushed. A rewarding kiss was pressed on the corner of her mouth as his fingers squeezed gently around her breast. She gasped softly. He rolled over her, making sure to not put any on his weight on her as he managed to fit between thighs. With his knees folded her sat on his knees to look at her.

"Thought you said you didn't brought anything pretty with you," a comment on her baby blue cotton panties had her flushed in a second, "you brought your pretty self." He added with a smirky grin on his face, dimples appearing on his cheek and all. "Do you want to tale this off?" His other hand snuck under her shirt.

"Would you want that?" She asked biting down her lip in anticipation.

"It's not entirely about me, would you want that?" He shook her head, still affectionately caressing her sides.

"I want that." She consented, having him help her slip her arms out of the shirt and have him carefully pull it over her head.

"Hi," he greeted with a chuckle watching her shake her head in attempt to move her hair off her face.

"Hi," she beamed at him.

"You're so pretty baby," he glanced at her longingly before he leaned down to kiss her with more affection, pressing his mouth on her a little too hard but she isn't complaining, "perfect for me, can tell already!" She kissed him back with same affection if not more. "You okay with me loving on you?"

"It is okay." She confessed.

"Yeah?" He was amused and smitten by her in the moment.

Harry left a trail of soft, sloppy wet kissed down her jaw to her neck. Lingering that much longer on her pulse, it was surely going to leave a mark with the way he sucked on her soft skin before he kept down lower and lower. Giving the peaks of her breasts attention, one hand wrapped around one as he wrapped his lips around the peaks of her nipple sucking that little harder each time, rolling the other in between his thumb and forefinger. That alone had her squirming and gasping as she felt the pool of wetness in between her legs grow.

"That's okay, don't hold your pretty sounds back, sugar, lemme hear them." He urged her hearing a soft squeal from her.

"I won't, I won't, please don't stop." She mumbled.

"Wasn't planning on bunny," he looked at her smirking all while searching her face as he let his hands wander even lower between her hands, brush of his fingers over the wet patch on her panties was enough to make her gasp again, louder this time. "Y'like that, sugar?"

"Mhmm, yes!" She nodded throwing her head back as he pressed his fingers harder on her clit, setting a rhythm of circled pattern causing another firework all over her brain. It felt different from the times she does it herself for sure. "More, please!" She requested, pulling him closer with his face cupped in her palms for a kiss. And he gave her more.

"Feel good, sugar?" He asked urging her, his finger tips running soft circles on her clit. "Wanna taste you, baby, would you mind that."

"No," she nodded followed by a soft whimper, "please." Just on request he pushed himself up so sit on his heels as he pulled down her panties. Taking a moment to look at her as she was lied there in layered in dreamy haze. He definitely did not expected this even though he started it but he isn't going to complain. He moved them both so he was now kneeling on the floor as he tugged her down with his hands wrapped from under her thighs. Without saying anything he started with pressing sloppy wet kisses up her skin. Hearing little whimpers of request for him to stop teasing, not giving into her begging he threw her legs over his shoulders to reach of her hand and intertwine their fingers together. He pushed her thighs apart licking a bold stripe over her clit before he was going down to her slit having her already shuddering under his touch. Pressing his mouth on the full of her pussy with the shake of his head making her clench her thighs around his head.

Propping herself on her elbows to look at his ministrations he wasn't going to stop anytime soon, nor she wanted him to. He saw him glancing up at with his mouth still attached to her core, with his free arm flexing which could only tell that he's jerking himself. That just edged her closer to her high. His humming of pleasure sending waves of vibration down her spin making her let slip her own moans.

"Are you going to cum, baby?" He asked pulling away just enough before diving back in the sweetness he seemed to be already addicted to. He was in complete sense of euphoria, buried in between her legs being the best decision he's made.

"Yes! Oh, Harry!" She let out her little whimpers.

"Yeah? Cum for me baby," he urged her, "lemme taste it, you taste so good!" His tongue lapping over her slick pussy he guided her through her high, hearing her little soft whimpers of pleasure. Sucking at her slit as his nose nudged against her clit with a particular hard shake of his mouth. He proceeded to lick her clean telling her how good of a girl he was for him. He could have a go again if she'd let him, but he pulled away with a last firm kiss placed on her clit before he rose up to check on her. He lied there like an angel falled right from heaven with her chest heaving, eyes shuttered closed in bliss. He leaned over to press a kiss on her cheek to get her attention.

"You doing alright baby?" He asked.

"Mhmm." She nodded, leaning into him being fond of the closeness she felt with him in that moment, it was very different than she's used to but god she didn't want it to end.

"Did so good, m'good girl you are." He praised her. His nose skimming against her before he placed his lips against her. She could taste herself which the natural taste of him she was grown so familiar with, but she pulled away with his face cupped in between the plams of her hands

"Did you finish?" She asked.

"You saw me, didn't you?" He smirked pressing on the tip of her nose he rested his forehead on hers, "I didn't. But don't worry about me now, tonight is about you, my little love."

"I want to help you." She urged him, "only if you let me." She felt his chest heave as he took in a long breathe as if he was contemplating. "Please?"

"Yeah? You want to help me?" He asked earning a sound of hum from her, "can I cum on your tummy then, don't want you to do anything while you're so tired."

"Uh-huh!" She nodded, "want you to feel good."

"Move up for me then, baby." He urged her to move up on the mattress, she did exactly watching him shimmy off his boxers and shorts fully before he managed to fit himself in between her thighs just like he was not even five minutes ago before he pulled her to the edge of their shared bed. "You sure you want this, baby?"

"I want it." She said, softly with a jerky nod of her head desperate to see him feel the same he saw her feel. It took everything in her to not touch him, especially when he hasn't given her his consent to do so as she watched him wrap his fingers around his cock, sliding his hand up and down slowly. YN looked up at him with her lip buried under her teeth. "Are you close?"

"So close," he shared, deep rumble of moans left his kiss swollen lips as he jerked himself over her. YN felt butterflies in her tummy all over again, wanting so badly to help but he won't let her touch him in anyway. She needed to find a way to urge him like he did.

"I want you to cum for me, Harry." She said, resting her hand over his which he had propped on the full of her thigh, running her palm up and down his forearm. "Are you going to?"

"Fuck yes, baby!" He moaned as his eyes shuttered closed. He couldn't help the smile taking over his lips as he heard her speak those words.

"Look at me, Harry!" She demanded, with all her rights making him instantly follow her words. He sat back on his heels as his fucked his own hand looking at her. Just the sight of her lied there bare had his cum spurring out with couple of hard strokes of his hand, landing right in between valley of her breasts.

"Fuck I'm gonna cum." He told her.

"Please cum for me." He urged him more, lacing fingers of his free hand with her. Enough for him to cum all over her making a mess of both of them until his cock went soft in his hand with heavy and breathy moans filling their room. With a soft tug at his hand she pulled over her as soon as he was done, pressing soft and lazy kisses on his cheek. "Made me cum so hard, baby, thank you."

A soft chuckle left her own kiss swollen lips, "it's two ways, right? You made me feel good too."

"Mhmm," he nodded.

"I want to help you next time like you helped me." She shared, "please?" Just the mention of a next time made Harry want to go at it again, but she looked tired, really tired he could tell by the tone of her voice.

"I promise, my love." He agreed. "Come on, let's take a quick shower then we can get dressed and go to bed. Got you all tired, didn't I?"

"Yeah!"

With his arm's wrapped around her waist he picked up with no efforts as made a way to their en suite bathroom. He carefully placed her on her wobbly feet stealing in a few tender kisses from her mouth.

"Need to get us a change of clothes, go on and get in first I will join you, okay baby?" He suggested earning an upset pout from her, "promise won't take long." He kissed her pout away before he stepped away and stepped out of bathroom reminding her, "make sure you take a wee too."

His casualness made her shudder in cringe on herself. How and why did she find that weird, whilst it's something important she does? He casualness wasn't something she found cringey but the feeling that took over her. But brushing it away she did what he said so and got into shower settings the water to luke warm even though she's used to taking burning hot showers. In no time Harry was joining her like he promised and helped her clean up the mess he made of the pair of them, making sure to give her extra kisses and praises.

"Harry?" She spoke as he wrapped a towel around her before her wrapped one around his hips.

"Hmm?" He sounded, proceeding to dry her off so she wouldn't catch a cold, "what is it lovie?"

"That was my first time being intimate with anyone." She confessed, with a hint of fear she might upset him for something.

"You didn't tell me?" He stopped dead on his tracks, "why baby?"

"I don't know," she shrugged, "I'm sorry, I should've."

"You should've told me, yeah," he agreed resuming his work of drying her off, "but I should've asked you. And it's okay."

"You didn't know."

"I know baby, but I started it, didn't I?" He sighed.

"Did I make you upset?"

"No, but I hope I didn't make you uncomfortable in anyway." He shared, leaving the towel draped over her shoulders as he reached for the pair of panties he got for her from her suitcase. He crouched, "step in."

"You didn't," she told him as she stepped into the pair of clothing and watched him pull it up her thighs to her waist, "you made me feel so safe."

"I did?"

"Mhmm." She nodded watching him reach for his hoodie he got got her, "I don't quite feel comfortable with myself, but I felt it with you. I should've told you." His shoulders deflated hearing her words, it was quite emotional thing for her he could tell and she isn't the most open person he's met but at least she's telling him the truth now. And he's glad he didn't gave into her begging of wanting to help him like he did. They can go slow if she wanted to do anything like that again.

"Precious, look at me." He set her up on the counter top next to the sink and stood in between her thighs, "thank you so much for telling me the truth." He started, his hands warming the sides of her hips, "I don't know how I feel, but it's okay, just need you to know that you can tell me anything next time when we're doing something intimate. Now I wanna everything. You said it's two ways, right?"

"Mhmm."

"Then that's how it's going to be." He stated quite firmly yet with tender feeling towards her, "like I told you, you're very precious and wouldn't want to do anything-even unintentionally- to hurt you, my love, okay?"

"Okay, I will." She agreed on it, earning the prettiest smile and a gentle kiss from him. "I don't want it." She refused watching him bunch up the hoodie he got for her to the neckline.

"Why not baby?"

"I want to cuddle close to you." She shared.

"You sure, you won't be cold?"

"No," she shook her head. He put on his own boxers before he was picking her up again, her legs wrapped around his hips and arms draped around his shoulders. He whispered his sweet nothings to her making a way back out with their half bare selves, as her soft giggles filled their room. He lied her down gently on their shared bed joining her closely. Wrapping her in duvet.

"Good night, sugar." He kissed her temple.

"Good night." She whispered snuggling as humanly close to him as possible.

......................................................................

The morning after was nothing but sweet and tender for YN, she was woken up by soft whispers from Harry. A huge breakfast in bed, and even bigger snuggle sesh as they watched her favourite show before getting into a warm bath together in the afternoon and get ready for the evening.

Harry took her to the Billie Eilish merch shops, bought her almost every single item they had to offer despite her little protests, and extra pair of sweats and crewneck for her best friend as her birthday present from both of them. They spent their time watching few of his favourite artists playing all the while without catching anyone's attention with Jamie and Jeffery with them. YN found it very weird as anywhere Jamie goes they have camera's following them but she wasn't complaining.

"Harry, can we go out to get dinner?" She suggested on their way back to their hotel.

"Where do you want to go, baby?" He asked, opening the door for her with his free hand as he held the bags with her new clothes, be let her in first.

"I don't know, I feel like eating rice cakes." She shared.

"Yeah? We can go to my favourite Korean restaurant then." He set her bags down by her duffle bag which was spilling out with stuff she had carelessly stuffed inside.

They just did that. Alone they both went to get dinner like their first night in LA. She taught Harry how to use chopsticks, laughing as she watched him still struggle. He stuck to using fork and spoon as they ate. They ordered a few desserts which Harry hardly ate from before they headed back to Coachella to watch Billie perform.

"You didn't eat any dessert." She pointed out as he walked just behind her, "we could have ordered something you like?"

"What if I tell you, I want my sugar for dessert, hm?" He leaned in closer to her ear, "tasted you once can already rell you're the sweetest dessert there's ever going be." He whispered, making goosebumps take over her skin.

"I don't mind that."

"I know you don't," he cooed, "would take you back with me now but we're here for you, aren't we? Unless you want to go back to our hotel."

"We can wait." She said, firmly, not wanting to give into his teasing even though she could feel those same tingles in between her legs as last night. Harry didn't said anything as they proceeded to walk towards the VIP area to watch her favourite singer.

It was a bummer Harry wasn't her favourite singer, but he's certainly her favourite in other ways.

YN had to walk next to Jeffery and Glenn as Jamie and Harry walked together. She was already craving the warmth of his palm against her watching his hand wrapped around someone elses. Yes, she felt the tinge of jealousy creep up in her mind and heart even though everything was just for show. It wasn't until a few songs in YN felt Harry tugging towards him to make her stand right in front of him as he wrapped his arms around smaller frame, she felt a soft press of his lips on her head through the hood she had up oh her head. Now that made that teeny bit jealousy go away for a second before she noticed Jamie was stood right next to him.

"Do you not want to take videos?" Harry wondered.

"Oh yeah," she realised as she fished out her phone from her pocket, and turned on the video to later send it to her friend and post it on her stories and keep it back in her pocket to enjoy the moment in person. Harry still had her caged in between his arms, their fingers intertwined together. YN brought their hands upto her lips before placing a soft kiss on the back of his hands before placing the bundle of their hands over her chest, letting his sway them both to the soft music of Ocean Eyes now playing.

Harry pushed her closer to him with his hand on her chest, holding flush against his own. "Gimme a kiss." His voice soft, just for the two of them.

"We're out." She reminded him. She cared for his public image. And to the public he was dating Jamie and if anyone saw him kissing her, he'd be a cheater which she would never want for him.

"I don't give a fuck, now gimme a kiss or I might die because of lack of kisses from my baby." He said, as dramatically as he could making her giggle before she turned her head to look at him. He dipped his head down desparately to button his mouth of her, he turned her around so he can indulge in the contact better.

He had her wrapped up in his arms for entire time they were there. His heart felt full whenever he is with her and that's what he wanted her to feel until Jeffery had to drive buldozer of his bullshit over their sweet time together saying people have started to notice he's not close to Jamie but someone else and had escorted them out of there.

YN felt so hurt, she was really just someone else? Why wouldn't his team address her like a human being but as if she's some weird mutated creature Harry liked to be around? She walked beside Glenn watching Jamie take a hold of Harry's hand, even proceeding to cling to his arms giggling her way out at something Jeffery said. She could see Harry's face as he walked ahead of her this time.

Jamie has been doing nothing but plaguing their time together. Worse part was thar Harry gave into it, even though he's obliged to do so. Not even just now but it's been like this since a month after Harry met her and he had to get into this pr relationship, it was very annoying from day one. Especially since Jamie hated her for apparently no reason at all. And so did Harry's team, especially his manager.

Well, YN didn't had any right to be that upset it's not like she's his girlfriend. She's just someone's he basically pays to hang with him throwing away the fact that she would do all this without any conditions because she fallen in love with him. You don't put any conditions in front of a person you love so much.

Love is always supposed to be unconditional, she knew that.

She brushed it off and decided to walk ahead and get in the car in back seat knowing very well she'll be told to do so when Harry's driving, there are paps called outside and many screaming fans stood there with their cameras out. Harry drove off to their hotel, everyone annoyingly stayed at the same hotel.

YN still walked ahead and stook the stairs instead not wanting paps to even click even a single picture of her. As a college student with almost all of her batch being Harry's fan was mot going to make her life any easier than it already is. But she truly felt bad. Be isn't going to back off his backend deal with the movie he worked in for some girl he met more more than half year ago and pays for her college for her. That's some weird ass shit she thought is going on there. All her life she's felt unwanted and worthless and being around his people makes it even worse even when he insists he wants her in his life.

She one stupid to fall for him.

She reached the fourth floor huffing and puffing looking through her phone to distract her mind from wandering from streets to gutters. She bumped into Harry stood there with his arms crossed over his chest, an upset look over his features.

"Why didn't you get in the lift?" He asked her.

"I didn't wanted any pictures taken of me on accident." She said walking down the corridor to their shared room. He followed her like lost little puppy trying to keep up with her fast footsteps.

"Hey, what's wrong love? I'm sorry we had to leave early." He cooed trying to still catch upto her, he hated how down far their room was, "she's performing next weekend too we can stay till the very end, sugar!" Finally they came to their room and YN tried to open the door with spare key card she had, but struggled to do so with her vision blurred out by her tears. Harry calmly took the key from and opened the door leading her in he shut the door behind them making sure to lock it. He walked her inside and made her sit on their bed and took a seat on the yellow ottoman in front of her.

"What's wrong?" He asked again.

"I don't know." She shook her head, pulling her hand away from his grip.

"I know you know when you say that," he sighed, "what made you this upset, my love? Why are you crying?" He waited patiently for her answer his concerns but she didn't, she's very stubborn when it comes to sharing her feelings. "If you don't tell me what's wrong then how I'm gonna help you fix it?"

"I don't know."

"You want me to assume what happened?" He asked even though he had no assumptions about what must went down.

"I don't know."

"YN c'mon stop being stubborn, baby, I'm tryin' to figure out what got you all upset when you were so happy." His shoulders slumped in defeat, he ran a heavy hand over his face and through his hair. "Fine if you're not going tell me."

"I wasn't." She deadpanned. A heavy sigh he released calmed him down.

"What are you upset about, my love?" He asked, again, with much more patience than before.

"It's embarrassing." She shook her head, dismissing the thought of wanting to share that she's jealous of his pretend girlfriend because she's fallen head over heels for him after he'd shown just some affection towards her.

"You know I would never judge you," he cooed to her, reassuring her as took a gentle hold of her hands. Still amused by how much smaller her hands were in compare to his, they fit perfectly in his like that last piece puzzle. "Did Jamie or anyone said anything mean to you again?"

"No," she looked down at their joined hands in her lap.

"Are you upset we left early?"

"I didn't liked the way Jeffery had us escorted back to hotel because he saw people were starting to, to notice us, us sharing a kiss." She stuttered through her little complain, "I, I don't like it when she's around whenever we're out and I have to be pretend I'm not someone to you."

"But you're everything to me." He confessed, "and I mean it. I am really sorry you feel that way, sugar. I promise we're going out when she's not around, yeah? It is just going to be us, I promise."

"You do?" She asked.

"Mhmm, I do." He nodded, "see it was that easy to fix this, didn't need to cry on this." He wiped off her tears from her face, holding both her hands in one of his as if she's going to run away. "Did you get jealous of Jamie hogging all of our alone time?"

"I did." She cemented, without any hesitation glaring at him for his unnecessary teasing in the moment.

"I'm sorry," he rushed, "but you do know I don't even look at her, don't you? You know I'm coming back to you at the end kf the day, don't you?" He wasn't even trying to conceal the little he'd harboured on her now. Not when their alone time being invaded made her that upset for her to shed tears. "You've got nothing to worry about you know that, don't you?"

She gave him another jerky nod of her head, "mhmm, I know."

"Then gimme me a hug now." He dropped her hands just so he can wrap him up in his arms, she had hers tucked in between them. He even peppered the exposed skin of her face with as many kisses as he could.

Tag list:

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[alloftheimagines]

david budd | the break-in

masterlist | ko-fi

words: 2.1k

warnings: 18+

reader struggles with sexual harassment in the workplace, reader is assaulted in a home invasion, violence, strong language and use of the words "bitch" and "slut", david coming to reader's rescue and taking care of you

prompt: I love bodyguard sm! How about David Budd & “I’m never going to let anyone hurt you.

Your apartment door is open. You know it wasn’t when you went to work this morning, but now the shadows pour into the hallway, the lock hanging off splintered wood. Somebody has broken in. 

Fear turns you cold, and you scan the grey-walled corridor. It's quiet save for a baby crying somewhere upstairs and the blare of a television drifting through one of the many closed doors. You glance at the door behind you, where you know David Budd lives. A police sergeant. If you were smart, you’d knock on his door before entering your own flat, but you don’t want to bother a man who always seems to be wrapped up in work or his kids. It’s the last thing he needs. It's probably nothing, anyway. Break-ins happen every day in London.

Slowly, you take out your keys and separate them between your fingers, just in case. In the other hand, you get your phone out, ready. And then you nudge the door open with your foot.

Nothing looks touched inside, everything as you left it. Somehow, that makes it worse. It isn’t just a break-in, or else the laptop on the kitchen counter wouldn’t still be there. So what else would they want?

The question is answered by a pair of rough, bruising hands yanking you away from the light switch. You try to scream, but they cover your mouth, squeezing you against a flat, hard body. Something stabs into your hip. You look down and find a knife winking at you, pressing into your waistband. Tears slip down your cheeks as you try to struggle, but in your panic, you’ve dropped the keys and there’s no way out of their grip. 

“Don’t move,” the intruder whispers in your ear. “Don’t scream or I promise, it won’t end well.”

You recognise the gravelly voice. John. A co-worker — ex-co-worker. He’d been harassing you in the office. Finding excuses to touch you, watching you too closely, making inappropriate comments. So you went to HR and they fired him yesterday.

Only, this morning, you found him loitering in the car park outside the office. You’d hoped he was just there to pick up his things, but… 

He’s here for you. He shouldn’t even know where you live. He’s been watching you. Might have even followed you home before. A shiver crawls down your spine.

“What do you want?” you ask, voice trembling. 

“What do I want?” He scoffs, throwing you to the floor. You whimper as he leans over you, pressing the knife to your neck this time. He looks… wrong. Tired. Bloodshot eyes. Shaking hands. Stubble where he usually kept clean-shaven. “I want my fucking job back, you bitch. What did you tell them?”

“The truth,” you whisper, though you know honesty isn’t a good idea. “I told them the truth.”

“You had them fire me.”

“They made the decision. I would have been happy just to have you work on another floor.”

“Why? Because I looked at you? Maybe you shouldn’t dress like such a slut.” He presses harder, making you wince. “You were begging for it. You wanted me.”

You shake your head. “No. No, I didn’t, John. Please, get off me. Go home. Nobody has to know about this as long as you leave me alone.”

“Or what? What are you going to do?” He snarls, eyes glittering wildly. And you see the fire there. The anger. The need to hurt. You feel sick, frozen in fear. It doesn’t matter what you say next, you know. He’s here for a reason. To punish you. 

“Don’t,” you beg. “You’re not going to hurt me.”

“You’re wrong.” He moves quickly, but your reflexes are quicker. You knee him in the groin, twisting in an effort to crawl away while he yells out in pain — but you’re not quick enough, and he’s there in an instant, dragging you back by the hair. You scream out, and he stifles it with his hand again so it echoes in the silence.

“I’m going to make you pay,” he promises, the cold metal digging into your collarbone now. “I swear to god —”

The door swings open before he can finish. In the moonlight, you make out a broad figure. He launches himself at John in two strides, dragging him up by the collar and pinning him roughly against the wall. It isn’t until he speaks, Scottish accent making his voice like gravel, that you realise who it is. David. “PS David Budd. I am ordering you to drop your weapon.” 

A sob falls from you as the knife drops to the carpet. David slams John into the wall again, pinning his wrists.

“You’re under arrest for assault.” Anger ripples through David as he reads John his rights. You stumble up, feeling as though you’re moving through quicksand. The kitchen counter is your only support. 

David half-turns to you as he keeps John in his grip. “Are you hurt? Do you need an ambulance?”

“No… No,” you whisper weakly. You wouldn’t notice even if you were hurt. You’re too numb. Too shocked. To grateful that David got here when he did. 

“I have officers on their way. Called them as soon as I heard you scream. Are you sure you’re okay, love?”

“I think so.” You swallow thickly, shaking when you hear the sirens. 

“Do you know this man?” asks David.

“He was a co-worker.”

“She had me fucking fired,” John groused, but David silenced him, crushing him closer to the wall. You’d never seen him like this. So focused, so… furious. Like he wanted to do more than just arrest John. In the hallway, he always had a smile for you. He’d bring your parcels to your door if you had deliveries on the same day. Always asked you how you were, how work was. You don’t know this David. 

David looks at you in question now, and you nod. “He was harassing me at work. I took it to HR.”

“If you were smart, you would have left it there, mate,” David hissed through clenched teeth. “We aren't nearly as nice as HR.”

The sound of footsteps rattles through the building, and then the on-duty officers are there. They cuff John and escort him under David’s orders. You can only stand and watch as he explains everything he knows, hearing talks of interviews and the station. You can only breathe when John is finally gone and it’s just the two of you. 

“Is it alright if I turn a light on?”

You nod absently, crossing your arms over your chest. He chooses the floor lamp by the door, the one you’d been attempting to switch on when John had grabbed you. 

“Are you sure you’re alright, love?” he repeats. His eyes search you, hands hovering awkwardly as though he doesn’t know if he’s allowed to touch you. You can only tremble, tipping your head in your attempt to convince him you are. 

“We need a statement from you down at the station. Do you think you can do that for me?” His voice has none of the rough fury it had a few moments ago. Now, it’s soft, gentle, concerned, and it’s enough to make you want to sob, thank him, seek comfort in him. But you don’t.

“It can wait until tomorrow morning if you need a bit of time…”

“No. Now is okay.”

“Okay. I can take you. How’s that?” He extends his hand carefully as though expecting you to cower. But you never cowered for John, and you won’t now. Least of all with a man who’s only ever made you feel safe. It isn’t easy living in the centre of London, but knowing a sergeant lives across the hall has provided you with a sense of security you wouldn’t have had otherwise. 

You take his hand now and let him lead you out. You look blankly at your door, the broken lock. “We’ll have it sorted tomorrow. Can I call anyone for you?”

Your stomach drops at the realisation that, no, there’s no one to call. Your family lives up north and you couldn’t bear to worry them. Your friends are all from work, and though supportive, you don’t want to tell them the story tonight. “No. There isn’t anyone.”

“Okay. You’re welcome to stay with me tonight. I have a pull-out couch.”

His kindness almost makes you want to break, but you force a smile instead. “Thank you, David.”

You drive to the station in silence. David guides you into an interview room to take your statement himself. You tell him the story shakily, and his eyebrows furrow with the same fear and pain you’ve felt for weeks. When you’re done and the recording is stopped, he reaches a hand across the table. You take it. “You did really good. He’ll get what he deserves. I promise.”

You don’t know what to say, so you only purse your lips and hope it's true. 

“Ready to go home?” David asks. 

The answer, of course, is yes. 

***

David can’t stop watching you as he waits for the kettle to boil. You sit on his couch, makeup smeared as you stare out of the window into the night. When he notices you shiver, he grabs a zip-up hoodie from his pile of clean laundry and drapes it around your shoulders after offering you your tea.  “Don’t want you getting cold. If you want, I can nip across the hall and grab some of your things.”

“I can go…” But your bottom lip wobbles, and he knows that soon, it’ll hit you. It always take a while for the shock to wear off for victims of assault. You’ve been holding up well for hours, chin set in determination, but it’s quiet now, and you look so small in his flat. He just wishes he’d known. Wishes he’d heard the lock being broken or seen the door open when he got home. He’d been exhausted after a long shift. Barely aware of his surroundings until he’d heard you scream. Dread had sharpened his world again, and when he’d walked in to find you at knifepoint, that bastard’s hand knotted in your hair… he’d wanted to kill him. 

“You drink your tea,” he insists softly. “I can go. Just tell me where to look. I won’t go rooting. Promise.”

“In my bedroom. There are pyjamas in the second drawer of my dresser.”

“I’ll be back in a second.” He squeezes your hand before crossing the hall and grabbing your things, nausea churning in his gut as he looks at the ruined lock again. His hands ball into fists at the memory of you on the floor. If he hadn’t heard you scream…

He leaves the apartment before he can contemplate the end of that sentence, setting your pyjamas down on the coffee table and taking the armchair across from you. You chew your bottom lip, warming your hands around your mug of tea and staring at the string of the teabag. 

“You don’t have to be so strong now, love,” he says. “It’s just you and me. If you want to talk about it…”

It’s all it takes for your chin to wobble. “I just felt so helpless. I thought… I didn’t know what he was going to do to me.”

David sighs, resting his elbows on his parted thighs and wishing he could do more, say more, be more. Wishing he could chase all your fears away. He shifts slowly towards you, waiting for you to protest, but you don’t. In fact, when he sits on the sofa beside you, you lean towards him as though welcoming him, tucking your hair behind your ear in that way he’s grown to love. He doesn’t know what it is about you; his days are just brighter if he catches you in the hallway or hears you singing in the shower through the paper-thin walls. And it helps that you’re beautiful and kind and funny. Helps that you always make him feel warm and, for once, at peace. 

“You’re safe now.”

You close your eyes, tears slipping down your cheeks. He brushes them away tenderly, and you bow your head as more come. “Thank you for being there.”

“Of course. I’m…” He steels himself before his voice can crack with the sincerity it holds. “I’m never going to let anyone hurt you again, Y/N. I’m here, okay?”

You do something he hadn’t expected then. You nestle your face into his chest. His breaths turn ragged with the proximity as he slowly wraps his arms around you, stroking your hair. “You’re okay now, love.” He says it again and again, reminding himself as well as you. It’s been a long time since he’s felt this rattled, this invested. A long time since he’s felt anything at all. 

He clings onto it for as long as you let him.

[seeingteacupsindragons]

So this may be one of those “I’m thinking about this more than the actual creators are” situations, but it seems like a fairly obvious problem? Either way, I’d like to hear your thoughts.

Where does William go from the dinner party, not mentally/emotionally or in his goals, but rather in a practical sense? While Mycroft and the Queen could no doubt arrange some kind of pardon or excuse to call off any angry mobs, it seems like that would undo...everything? The Lord of Crime needed to be vilified, and to die, and needs to stay dead, in order for the Plan to have succeeded. And for all the Christological parallels, this is a scapegoat saviour whose resurrection would not be welcome. The media circus that would follow if William reappeared publicly would presumably do all sorts of damage to the progress the Plan set in motion.

And...everyone thinks he’s dead, and he looks a bit different now (in so far as an eyepatch counts lol), so people might overlook him at a glance on the street. But if he hangs out with his brothers publicly, or even worse, with the dude who “died” with him and who HAS been very openly revealed to be still alive, people are gonna catch on fast. So like...is he just going to be a basement gremlin and never leave the house now? (Relatable.) Or live somewhere other than London? Am I overthinking this or underthinking it? 😅 

A couple facts from canon I'd like to point out:

Irene Adler is in legal trouble with the government and also legally declared dead, and they decided to show up alive with Sherlock Holmes just to fuck with him. No repercussions of this have ever been discussed

Moran, a legally dead man, has been wandering around without changing his appearance at all, and he was nobility, and no one has commented even though Albert publicly calls him "Colonel" and, uh, John's about to write a story about him. He was literally acting as a servant for a bunch of nobles at the tea party, after being recognized by someone for who he was a few months earlier, and...no one...noticed?

No one has ever cared that William and Louis look nearly identical even though officially they are not biologically related.

For some reason, the nun who raised them originally needed to be Relocated so William would never run into her as she would recognize him. ??? Okay.

While William's basement-gremlin-ness is to be argued, Louis definitely doesn't socialize (Louis has enough family to socialize with), Albert appears eager to never do it again, and Sherlock even more so, so who would even see them hanging out.

While Sherlock's face might be a bit more known from paps, Liam spent the bulk of his time many hours away from London, almost never socialized with anyone in London, and so the major memory of his face would be a newspaper article almost no one probably kept from three years ago. Do you remember the name and face of a serial killer from three years ago from the papers well enough to call a hotline about it? Most people probably don't.

However, three years before, Sherlock wanted them settled in Brooklyn instead of Manhattan because it got less foreign traffic and they were less likely to be recognized. But three years have passed since then.

Billy literally introduces himself with both his legal name and his super-famous nickname and then out-shoots people and does not seem to care at all that there was a whole Thing about how he needs to be dead for Garrett and such. Oh, sure, you can't mail your bestie a letter every now and then because You're Dead and He Killed You for the the Story to Save the Town, but you can go introduce yourself to randos. Okay. Whatever, Billy.

While William's name and face was definitely in the papers, the fact is that John's story is super well-known and kind of overtook the memory of the real thing that happened. The story which called him "James" and his brothers "James" and portrayed him as an old man.

Whether or not people recognize characters they absolutely should recognize in this series is entirely based on, "Are we at all interested in discussing that story?"

(The answer appears to usually be "No")

And I still say that we'll hear exactly what William intends to do from now on after this godforsaken flashback finally ends. Maybe it will address this. Maybe not. William in this series has been a much more active hunting spider than one who merely sits in a web waiting, but perhaps he could retreat to one now and hang out in the basement with his web around him plotting.

So, there's a few points that lend plausible deniability to all this nonsense, there's a few points that indicate canon isn't going to give a single fuck about it, and there's the open question of, "IDK, there's probably something he could do about all this."

[ptergwen]

smoke and mirrors

⇢ richkid!tom x richkid!reader ⇠

w/c: 4.1k

warnings: swearing, drinking, light angst, and implied smut

summary: because of your mother’s insistence on a pristine family image and tom’s messy one, you deny your true feelings for him

a/n: ok ok ok the pics of tom in monaco really made me think and i had to get everything out of my system so here we are! thank you and enjoy x

-

your living room is engulfed by a hushed chatter that comes from far too many guests. half the people, you hardly know. it’s overcrowded, superficial, and the last place you want to be. it’s one of your mother’s get-togethers, as she likes to call them. these things are always far from the casual affairs they sound like.

weeks go into planning, caterers and decorators making themselves at home in yours. the family’s image is everything to your mom, so being a good hostess is her top priority. ironically, she’s more concerned with throwing her gatherings than raising you. so much for family, huh?

the only reason you agreed to make an appearance tonight is that tom might do the same. he’s a really good friend, someone you’ve been able to count on through all the mess that is your lives. you met in high school, when he moved from london to the states. his dad was offered a job promotion he couldn’t pass up. plus, tom and his brothers would be receiving a stellar private education here in america.

it was a win for everyone, especially you. the freckle faced boy who got lost on his way to english class became your closest confidant. tom’s company is such a sweet escape. he’s not interested in opera or the stock market like most people you meet are. he sneaks you out to go on walks at dawn and does shots with you until you can’t stand straight.

as you two continue to grow together, revelations about yourselves have come to light. what you want beyond your inheritances, who you want beyond friendship. you figured out the second part on a faithful night recently. tom showed up to your place with a bottle of tequila. after you drank it down through lots of lime chasers and giggles, he kissed you. you didn’t kiss back.

your heart said to go for it, but your mind pulled you back in. you were so shocked and overcome with new feelings, you froze up. that, and you’d infuriate your mother. although she cares about tom a great deal, she loathes his public figure. he’s always getting papped in places and with people he shouldn’t be. the two of you together would just destroy her.

you still want to please your mom at the end of the day, no matter how deep under your skin she gets.

tom immediately apologized and tried play it off as him being drunk. you grew up with him, became part of each other’s families, which means you know him well enough to know he was lying. he meant every second his lips were on yours.

what you need to do now is something you’ve meant to for a while. the only problem is that you’re stuck at your mother’s party, and tom hasn’t shown up yet.

“y/n, darling,” your mom calls for your attention. she’s dragged you into a conversation with some bloggers, but you haven’t spoken a word. “why don’t you tell us about your trip to spain last summer?” she plasters on her award winning grin and squeezes your shoulder. it’s time to play along.

“oh, it was beautiful,” you halfheartedly reply, more to the bloggers than her. they nod in clear interest. one jots down notes. “we went for a few weeks and visited a bunch of different cities. i’d love to go back sometime.” the typical press formatted answer earns your mom’s approval. you’re off the hook. your eyes start to wander around the room, hoping to set on tom.

“we?” the woman taking notes asks. must everyone pry? “my friend and i,” you shortly reply. you’re standing up on your tiptoes to see over the crowd. you’d think six inch heels would do the trick. “i’m actually looking for him right now, so if you’ll excuse me,” you offer a polite smile and silently pray they won’t ask who. unfortunately, your wishes don’t come true.

the other blogger, a short and stubborn man, speaks up. “just a friend you say? come on, tell us. who’s the lucky fella?” he inquires. your mother raises a firm eyebrow, signaling for you not to.

tom has a reputation for his reckless behavior. it’s your mom’s worst nightmare when the media associates your names under most circumstances. you’re representing her, so she does whatever she can to control how you’re seen. you’re constantly in the papers, being a young socialite and all. it sucks.

“he’d like to stay out of the tabloids, sorry,” you cover for tom, on your mom’s behalf. “i should really go. it was nice meeting you.” the bloggers don’t bother to hide their disappointment as you shake their hands. your mother rubs your back in approval. “thank you for doing that. we’ll talk later,” she speaks lowly. “bye, mom!” you practically make a run for it. 

weaving through the sea of people, you end up by the main entrance. it’s hard not to get lost even though it’s your house. the place is packed with girls just a couple years older than you, wearing pearls around their necks. men’s strong colognes flow through the air. you’re in a form fitting red slip dress and louboutins yourself.

smoke and mirrors is what they call it. you show the pretty parts to distract from your ugly ones.

harrison suddenly comes waltzing in with a lady on either of his arms. you’d expect nothing less. he’s tom’s best friend besides you, considering the failed kiss attempt didn’t change that. their parents worked at the london branch of the same company. they each came to the states and met you. you happily introduced them to your world, helping to make it theirs as well.

“haz!” you meet him at the front door. he’s smirking while he leads the women inside. “fancy seeing you here, isn’t it?” he jokes. “very funny. i died laughing,” you deadpan, curiously eyeing harrison’s plus two. they merely giggle. “listen, have you seen tom anywhere? if he’s coming.” you’re fighting back a frown. “why wouldn’t he be?” harrison questions in a more serious tone this time.

“long story. you have guests to entertain, so i won’t get into it now,” you decide and manage a small smile instead. he perks up. “right. i’ll let you know if i see him?” nodding, you give him a wave goodbye. “enjoy yourself.” “you too, love. cheers!” the girls lean into him, harrison wiggling his eyebrows at you. he’s ridiculous.

hours pass by without word of tom. it isn’t like him to miss an event, especially if you’re in attendance. you despise these exhausting nights, and he’s supposed to be your rock during them. he should have his arm draped around your shoulders, whispering silly remarks to you while you hide out somewhere. you miss him more than you thought possible.

you’re just about to give up when you spot nikki ushering her husband inside. behind them follows tom, clad in a grey checkered suit with his locks perfectly tousled. he’s here. you waited the whole night, and he finally came.

tom kisses his mom on the cheek before strutting over to the drink table, not without a few reporters hassling him. they’re probably looking for another holland scandal to break. he declines their requests for comments on this and opinions on that, instead pulling up a chair next to harrison. the two exchange hugs and fix themselves glasses of champagne, you watching their encounter.

harrison fills tom in on the drama he’s missed tonight while they sip their drinks. tom keeps forcing smiles that don’t reach his eyes. he’s fiddling with his fingers, leg bouncing up and down steadily. those are the telltale signs he needs saving. however awkward it may be, you’re going to have to break your silence. it was bound to happen eventually.

“mate, i’m telling you. she fit her entire first right up her-“ “boys,” you cut into harrison’s story, greeting him and tom. his face tints deep pink upon your arrival. “don’t let me stop you. finish your charming anecdote,” you encourage him and subtly glance over at tom. he’s biting back a grin as he sets his elbows on the table.

“not with a lady present. let’s just… pretend you didn’t hear that,” harrison chuckles nervously and hops to his feet. “i’m gonna leave you two to chat.” humming, you move to take his chair. tom sucks in a breath. “what happened to the girls you brought?” you wonder. “they left. said they got bored,” harrison admits, tom stifling laughter. he elbows his friend for that.

“oh, fuck off. i’ll see you later,” he mopes, flicking your arm for good measure. tom salutes him and grabs his nearly empty champagne. “so long, bruv.”

it’s just you and tom now, seated side by side, silently so. he has no intentions of speaking first. he’s too embarrassed, and you don’t blame him. this is on you. you clear your throat before starting the conversation.

“can i top you off?” you tap the bottom of his glass with a tiny smile. tom shakes his head. “i’m alright, thanks.” he finishes the last sip and sets it down, turning to face you. your smile has vanished. “wasn’t sure you were gonna make it. i’m glad you did,” you change the subject. as if he’s considering the sincerity behind your words, tom furrows his eyebrows.

“mum wanted us to. she dragged me and dad straight off the golf course,” he explains and clasps his hands in his lap. his fingers interlock with each other. you fight off the urge to replace them with yours. “we would’ve been here sooner, but the paps are camped outside.” the hint of a smile forms on his lips, at last. “guess it’s not often you get the town’s finest under one roof.”

“you think i’m one of the town’s finest?” you tease, resting your chin in your palm. something flashes behind tom’s eyes. he looks right into yours, scooting closer. “absolutely. you’re the most eligible bachelorette in this whole building.” you allow a toothy grin to spread across your face. “tommy, stop it. you’re too nice to me.”

the nickname is music to his ears. tom looks you up and down, licking his lips simultaneously. “no, seriously. you look gorgeous,” he muses, you pushing at his chest. he exhales a breathy laugh, and you giggle yourself. “red’s definitely your color.” “reverse card. you wear it way better than i do,” you insist. your fingers tug at the collar of his suit. “too bad you didn’t match me.”

you’re relieved you two can talk like you usually do, light flirting and good vibes. it might not be so hard to put the kiss behind you. well, you can’t go on pretending it didn’t happen. you have to at least discuss the fiasco. tom should know why you didn’t reciprocate, then you can take it from there. whether he still has feelings for you, assuming he ever did, will depend on how that turns out.

“not to ruin the fun, but we still have to talk,” you murmur, tom’s body stiffening across from yours. he’s not sure he’s ready to discuss that. “can it wait? we’re at a party,” tom reminds you, running a hand through his styled locks. “yeah, my mother’s. don’t tell me you’re having a good time,” you playfully chastise him. he simply shrugs. “hardly. you’re the best part.”

you ignore the butterflies roaming about your body.

“you won’t mind a quick convo, then. it is with me,” you attempt to persuade him and place a hand on his knee. tom coughs a bit too loudly, the contact surprising him. “you know what? i think i’ll take you up on that drink first,” he decides with a mustered up smile. “coming right up.” you pat his leg before taking his glass. he chews on his lower lip while you poor the bubbling liquid. that was certainly… odd.

you slide tom his champagne back with an exaggerated wink. tom scoffs at this. “mm, thanks. care to join me?” he brings the alcohol to his lips, eyes never leaving yours. your mother specifically said no drinking tonight, since the press would be here. screw your mother, though. “please. could you hand me a glass?” you eagerly grab the champagne bottle. tom searches for an empty cup next to him.

you two are unspoken drinking buddies at this point.

“here you are, darling,” tom drawls, holding out the glass for you. every time he calls you that, you completely melt. “thanks, tommy,” you purr in response. you’re finally pouring your own drink when someone taps you on the shoulder, and hard. you look behind you to find your mother standing with her hands on her hips, less than thrilled. speak of the devil.

“hello, mother. can i help you?” you make sure to ask rudely. she responds with a smile that’s obviously fake. if tom weren’t here, you’d be getting scolded. “yes, my darling. those bloggers from earlier were hoping you’d finish your interview.” your mom shakes your shoulder in a motherly way. you squint up at her. “didn’t they leave hours ago-“ “they’re back,” she sharply informs you.

she’s lying, and you have a hunch as to why.

frowning, you hold tom’s hand in both of yours. “sorry, this won’t take long. why don’t you go find tuwaine?” you suggest instead. “he’s around here somewhere.” tom gives you an understanding nod and laces your fingers together, even if it’s only for a moment. “must be chatting up some producers or whatnot. i’ll see if i can help.” he’s such an incredible friend to everyone. he deserves the same from you.

“thomas, so lovely to see you,” your mom interrupts. tom stands up, kissing both her cheeks out of courtesy. “you, too. what a wonderful party. thank you for having us.” despite what the rest of the world believes, his manners are impeccable. “of course. give nikki my best, will you?” your mom puts her hands on his shoulders. he grins at her. “definitely. take care, mrs. y/l/n.” “always a pleasure,” she states, nudging you to come along with her.

you shoot tom one last apologetic look as your mother pulls you along and towards the crowd.

tom is no idiot. he’s well aware how she really feels about him.

when a swarm of guests is surrounding you, your mom lets go. you scowl, crossing your arms over your chest. “why would you do that? i haven’t seen tom in days.” she sighs without a care. “isn’t it time you branch out? expand your social circle?” her manicured fingers ruffle your hair. you push away her touch. “i’m social enough. we were in the middle of something really important.”

you begin to walk away, but your mother takes your arm. “whatever you’re about to do, it’s a mistake. he’ll make a fool of you,” she practically spits. yanking your arm from her grasp, you laugh bitterly. “of me, or of the family name? look around, mom.” you gesture to the spot beside her where your dad should be. “as far as i’m concerned, i have no family except tom. i’m gonna go check on him.”

you’re gone before your mom can stop you. she simply stands there, utterly mortified by what you said.

you run around the house to find tom, stumbling in your heels and not giving a fuck. you’d truly meant the part about him being your family. all the holland’s, honestly. they’re the most genuine and caring souls, and you don’t want to lose the one you’re closest to because of your mother’s delusions. 

tom is in a circle with harrison and tuwaine, the three of them chuckling amongst themselves. you’d hate to bug him, but this can’t wait anymore.

“uh, tom?” you mumble his name, appearing behind him. he steps away with another quiet laugh. “hey, y/n/n. that was quick, hm?” your face gives away your distress. his whole demeanor shifting, tom reaches for your hands. “what is it, love? is something the matter?” “just… come with me,” you croak out.

you manage to smile at harrison and tuwaine, dropping one of tom’s hands so you can lead him upstairs. they each return the smile and share curious looks.

following behind you, tom keeps your hand tight in his own. he’d thought you were going to grill him about the kiss that barely happened. it seems like this is a much more pressing matter. his outburst of emotions can be discussed another time. now, it’s time to deal with yours.

you drag tom into the first room on the second floor, which is your dad’s study. he’s away on business this weekend, so he luckily couldn’t make the party. tom sits down in the office chair. you sit up on the desk, in front of him. your lip quivers the second his worried features come into view.

“y/n/n, what’s going on? why are we in here?” tom wonders, his tone soft. your heart clenches. “i- i wanted us to have some privacy when i told you this,” you sniffle out and blink back the tears forming. you’re sort of shaken from the conversation with your mother, and mostly because you have no idea how tom will react to your confession.

his hands come to stay on your thighs, right below your dress. they feel warm against your bare skin.

“tell me what? i’m listening, yeah?” tom gazes up at you with so much love. “lay it all out for me.” god, he’s fucking amazing. if only you knew where to start. “do you, um…” you trail off, letting your tears subside and words settle. “do you remember when your family made your big debut in town?”

a grin replaces tom’s frown, painting his beautiful face. “how could i forget? you made it quite memorable.” he traces circles on your thigh and elicits a giggle from you. “i spilled a whole thing of soda on your white fucking button down,” you recount with a lighthearted sigh. “right before your dad was supposed to introduce you to everyone, too.”

tom presses his tongue into his cheek to hold back another grin. “took ages to get it out. dad went mad when i didn’t show.” he cocks his head to the side, you leaning back on your hands. “you held me hostage in the laundry room so you could do that bloody stain stick.” your mouth drops open in mock offense. “i had to clean up my mess! i wasn’t gonna let the world meet you covered in pepsi.”

that was one of your earliest memories together. the holland’s threw a party and invited everyone who was willing to attend. they had been hoping to properly introduce themselves to the town, and this was their way of doing so. although yours and tom’s friendship was fairly new, you spent all night together because you had experience with such events.

tom’s dad was making a speech to thank the guests for coming. you and him listened from the snack table, until his name was called. he rushed to go up there while you were pouring yourself a drink. he’d bumped into you, and the bottle ended up all over him. you snuck tom right off to his laundry room.

you’d felt terrible as he stood there shirtless and blushing, you aggressively swiping his button down with a stain stick.

“why do you bring that up?” tom questions and continues circling your skin. you purse your lips. “i dunno. it was the last party i actually enjoyed,” you admit, putting your hand over his that rests on your thigh. “like to reminisce when i’m suffering through one of my mother’s.” his eyes shift to where your hands are laced. “i see,” he affirms. “so, is that… all you wanted to talk about?” “not even close,” you laugh out.

a burst of courage coursing through your body, you say it. “when you kissed me the other night-“ “i won’t do it again,” tom cuts in, trying to avoid the rejection he thinks you’ll give him. “it was a mistake, and i’m so sorry. our friendship is more important than my feelings.” you seem excited to hear that, though it’s not for the reason tom expects. “you do have feelings for me?”

he’d forgotten about his i was drunk excuse.

“um, yeah. i do,” he admits, cheeks rosy and lip caught in his teeth. “but, i’ll learn to put them aside, if that’s what’s best.” “no, no. it isn’t,” you dismiss him and put your free hand on his chest. “i love you, tom. that’s what i was really trying to tell you.” your words bring an instant grin to his face. he chuckles in disbelief, standing from the chair.

“fuck, thank god. that’s all i’ve ever wanted to hear.” he’s between your legs now, his hands moving up to your hips. you’re beaming at him as your arms snake around his neck. a burning question comes to tom’s mind. “hang on. why didn’t you kiss me back, then?” he almost whispers, thumb brushing over your hipbone. “this is gonna sound weird, but… my mom,” you reluctantly let out.

“you’re gonna have to elaborate,” tom prompts you and raises an eyebrow. you can’t hold back your eye roll. “she’s never been a fan of the person you are in the media.” his lips form a line. “i gathered.” your fingers tangle in his curls at the nape of his neck reassuringly. “i was subconsciously scared i would be letting her down in some way, if we were together.”

tom allows your hands to work their way up to his scalp. he exhales contentedly as you play with his ever so soft hair. “i understand, she’s intimidating. what’s changed that brilliant mind of yours about coming clean?” your nose scrunches up when he pokes one of your temples. “oh, yeah. i yelled at her earlier ‘cuz she stole me away from you.” his face lights up. “sexy.” “shut up,” you groan. “someone had to tell her off.”

“good thing it got to be you,” tom agrees with a squeeze at your hip. “‘m proud of you, y/n/n. it’s not easy, standing up to mummy dearest.” you tug on his hair. “like you’d know. nikki is a saint.” “that’s what she’ll have you believe,” he says under his breath, you gasping. his lips turn up in a smirk. “on that note… i love you, too.”

“would’ve been embarrassing if you didn’t say it back,” you acknowledge with a cheesy smile. tom dips his head down to rest his forehead against yours. “yeah, yeah. save the attitude for your mum.” your legs easily wrap around his waist, tom’s breath hot as it hits your face. “let’s give that kiss another go,” you mewl. he doesn’t hesitate to reply. “with pleasure.”

tom’s lips land on yours, you kissing back right away. he smiles into it as your lips gently move together. “about fucking time,” he grumbles, your hands situating in his chocolate curls once again. he’s savoring every second you touch him, kiss him, love him. the taste of your mouth is one he’s craved for longer than you could imagine.

it doesn’t take long for things to heat up, you messing with tom’s hair and tom rubbing your hips. you lay back on the desk as his tongue enters your mouth. holding you by your waist, tom hovers over you. his tongue tangles with yours in a deep kiss. between that and his fingers beginning to massage your thigh, you’re done for. you’re ready to take this a step further by the time he’s kissing down your neck.

“tommy?” you grab onto his shoulders, your head back. his lips detach from your skin with a grin. “yeah, love? ‘s everything okay?” he coos, pressing a final kiss to your collarbone. “more than.” you tilt his chin up to peck his lips. “you wouldn’t happen to have a condom, would you? just thinking ahead.” he laughs breathlessly, reaching into his suit pocket.

“conveniently enough, i do. not sure your dad would like me fucking you on his desk, though.” tom sets his hand on your leg that’s still hooked around his waist. “my room’s always available. carry me?” you make grabby hands and bat your lashes. he hoists you up by your waist, not lifting you just yet. “that would break the news of us, no? your mum’s gonna go apeshit.” he keeps his arms around you, chuckling.

“let her. besides, i know a couple of bloggers that would love to announce our status update.” you peck tom’s lips, grinning as you do. you’re suddenly in the air and being picked up by tom. the surprise of it makes you squeal, clutching onto his broad shoulders instinctively. he gives you the look of adoration that’s reserved for you only.

“we’ll go pop a few bottles with everyone, then we’re celebrating on our own.”

[greeneyesandtea]

You have reached...

Lena learns the truth and Harry writes an album

It’s called a moment of weakness, something you call your best friend about afterwards and split a bottle Rosé while cringing at the thought.

This though was something she had already thought about doing, it started when she found out who was being nominated, it was going to be a congratulation and good luck but she dragged her feet and now here she was with a celery stick and ranch dressing being chewed and her finger hitting refresh repeatedly on twitter to see if her ex-boyfriend had won a Grammy. If Lena was smart she would not continue drinking the Rosé alone but she wasn’t because-

“Len,I think it was a bad idea it was funny at first but now it’s just getting sad,” Alysa was on the other end across the pond back at home in Philadelphia where Lena used to live before she couldn’t look out her apartment window or drive by Colonial Street without wanting to be here in London. “Why don’t you call the girl you work next to in Showroom coordination, what was her name? Charlotte the ginger.You liked her, she got your coffee order right.”

“I just want to,” Lena swallowed a knot in her throat and rubbed her knuckle under her nose because she wanted to cry, she wanted to have a proper fucking cry because she still loved him, Lena still loved Harry even now even after she realized they got together too soon. Even knowing she was a rebound and he needed to have a good time because at the end of the day she got to experience loving Harry not Harry Styles but Harry. The Harry who hated too much milk in his cereal, the one who puts on his socks before he puts on his boxers, the one who uses a plastic tongue scraper because the metal ones leave his mouth with a bad taste, the one who she loved and who maybe didn’t love her yet. “I just want to hear his voice, he has the best happy voice.” that is an excuse to reach out truly because what the fuck even is a happy voice.

As stated before, if Lena was smart, she would have stopped and taken to crying in bed with a Dream Boat t-shirt she found in her loft back in Philadelphia.

They departed the Wells Fargo Center with a knowing look from Sarah and a kiss on the cheek from Ny, they were off making the short trip to her loft on 47th. As soon as they made it to her elevator and the doors closed he pushed her to a corner wrapping a hand around her throat and pushing his lips onto hers not pulling away until he ran out of air.

“I’ve missed you,” was a statement that sipped Lena’s mouth and was decorated with sloppy open mouth kisses and a tightening hand on her throat. “Should have told me Hersey was before this show I would have made the drive.”

“Wanted you rested for tonight,” his hand now crept to her jean covered center and pressed another sloppy kiss on her lips full of lust and determination to feel her completely and empty himself in her until she was overflowing with his...his well he didn’t know what but he wanted Lena, his Lena to be painted and stained with him even if it was for tonight. “I’ve missed your lips so much.”

A sound that can only be compared to a purr left her mouth, “Which pair of lips?” and just like that they were on the twelfth floor and having to act as if there was no tension and like blood wasn’t rushing to their cores.

“Open the door, Leny,” Harry rushed and he rubbed her sides and pressed open mouth kisses to the side of her neck and sporadically let his teeth scrape her neck and occasional ear lobe. “Stop shaking and open the door.”

Lena let her forehead hit the still closed door and took a deep breath, “I need you to not touch me for two seconds so I can open my fucking door because I have a second heartbeat somewhere I need and want you to feel.” She was so flustered everything was hot, her mesh top was sticky on her body and his hands were still rubbing her and breathing on her.

“I got it, just give me the fucking key.” simple and a command making Lena hand her keys over to Harry’s much too eager hands and if only they knew where this night would lead them, she’s now sure Harry would have savored every second of this night.

Once the door was open Harry moaned because now behind closed doors they could be together in a different manner. “I’m going to fuck you so good, ‘m gonna make up for lost time okay. Promise you I will now lets take this off.” He finally came around to look her right in her eyes and placed a kiss in the center of her forehead followed by one on her lips, the center of her throat one on each bra-covered nipple, and finally on the zipper of her jeans. Harry began nuzzling his nose on the inside of her thigh making Lena tangle her fingers on the sprouts of hair on top of his head. “You smell so good.”

Harry started taking her high heels off and tossed them to some corner of her living room. Dragging down her jeans and panties, letting a moan out when he saw a wet spot on the top of her panties, he felt tempted to bring it up to his nose and smell them because everything about Lena radiated sensuality. That’s what she was to him the most sensual, confident, and enticing woman he has been graced with having met. When Lena was around that’s all he saw all he felt but there’s a fine line between love and lust and sadly they were that fine line.

“Come up here. Fuck I want to kiss you, please,” the plea left Lena causing Harry to shoot up and bring her in for a rough kiss with teeth clacking and overall sloppy but that didn’t stop Lena from trailing her hands down to the waistband of his black shorts, she felt his growing and felt bold and brave enough to slip her hand inside and brought him out while yanking them down as well. Lena pulled her hand up to her mouth and make a show of spitting on her palm letting some saliva drip down her chin and a thin string connecting from her mouth to her palm that was moving closer to the base. At that moment Harry was memorized by her because of how dirty she made everything, Lena was his wet fucking dream every move she was making in undressing him and every open mouth kiss was what he needed at the moment. “Are you going to just stare at me or fuck me?”

Harry placed his hand on the back of her neck and pressed his body against hers as they moved back to her bed. He had been there enough times to have her floor-plan memories just 16 steps from her table was a door frame that led to his paradise. In contrast to his previous roughness, he laid her down on her bed with such care almost like if he moved too fast she would disappear. The irony of it all really, how for a moment Lena was all Harry could think about as to where Lena could only get a moment where she didn’t think about him. For now, they were here with Harry between her thighs, his mouth licking into her and his nose rubbing right on clit making her twist and grind her hips closer to his face if that was possible but he was as close as he could get Harry wanted to breathe her in have Lena in every sense.

Seeing her body.

Smelling her intoxicating smell.

Touching her with his rough fingers due to the guitar he has been strumming all tour.

Hearing the way she was moaning for him, panting for him, whining for more, pleading for him to not stop.

Tasting her being her juices or in her mouth or the light sweat, the coated her body after they finished being with each other.

Moving to use his fingers to push inside of her as he sucked on the swollen and sensitive clit that made Lena suck in a breath and release a raw and deep groan that came from deep inside her stomach. Digging his hips into the mattress to relieve some pressure he was feeling, the groaning vibration from Harry’s mouth connected straight onto Lena’s already sensitive clit.

“Don’t want you like this.” She pushed him off full-on palm against the forehead picked her body up from the bed and turned over on all fours, making a show of shaking her ass a bit for him to see. “better like this,” Harry using his large hands on her thighs to position her just right on the bed placing a hand right between her shoulder blades to push her upper body on the bed leaving her ass high up in the air. Giving her a smack before grabbing a handful of it to shake it watching in awe of how her plump body moved.

Using his lightest touch right on her clit to spread her wetness more than it already was spread. Harry climbed right on the bed on his knees now in front of her bringing Lena up by her forearms so that they could be face to face. She took it upon herself to place a kiss on his swollen lips and trailing kisses down his body right just before reaching where his cock was standing upright and angry. Reaching down with her hand she spits on her hand again and placed her warm hand to caress his balls making his stomach clench and let out a shaky breath.

Wrapping his hand around her throat he brought her up and hastily pressed his lips to her moaning at the connection bringing her body up against his and wrapping her legs around his waist as he was still sitting with his legs folded underneath, they kissed slowly and sensually taking in each other's presence. Slowly Lena began to grind her hips into Harry’s, his cock rubbing between her folds almost connecting them. Leaning back to rub her clit in front of Harry drove him mad, pushing her to fully lay on her back and spreading her thighs so she was spread out just for him slapping her hand away so he could rub her clit. “Don’t play with my things in front of me.”

“It was mine first.”

Puckering his lips and leaning down close to her already wet center he spits right on her before giving her clit a light slap the erupted tingles throughout her lower belly and thighs.

“Well it’s mine now.” it was possessive and dominating as if there was no other way to it and there wasn’t because Lena had let herself drown into Harry, she allowed herself to be intoxicated by him completely bewitched by the man.

Rubbing his cock with one hand he leaned down to place a kiss on the corner of her lips, moving so his tip tapped her clit she nodded yes permitting him to enter her, fill her up. Pushing in they both moaned from the connection and Harry gave her a moment to adjust it had been two weeks since they had last been together. Harry slowly started rocking bushing her legs further apart to give himself room to move. Taking a breast in her hand to pinched her half-hardened nipple Harry began moving faster using his hands to squeeze the ops of her thigh to feel the quivering of her thighs. Both moaned at the speed and tightening they felt in their stomachs like a coil.

“Rub my clit.” It was a whiny pant that sounded desperate and he did because her pleasure was the only thing he wanted he got off on her getting off on knowing her was the reason she felt good. Bringing one leg over his shoulder and using a hand to spread the leg on the bed further apart to his the one spot inside he knew was his that’s what she called it.

“Looking for your spot, huh? Let me turn around then. It’s there just let me help you find it.” She purred taking her lower lip between her teeth. Disconnected from Harry she turned over and went back to their first position with her ass in the air and her cheek pressed on the side of the mattress. “Go for your special place. Only you know where it is okay.No one else.”

Bringing one hand down to rub her clit herself so he could focus on finding his spot inside her that could bring her right to the edge. He liked this position because he had to truly rely on her body to tell him what felt good feeling her back and thighs twitch against his body they were pressed against hers. Moving faster against her trying to find his spot inside, driving everything behind his thrust like the stress of his job and stress of his life that had a fine line between professional and personal letting his aggression from what was weighing his shoulders down outright from him to between her thighs. Letting his hand-wind back and giving her plump ass a smack that she was sure left a handprint just to whisper in her ear as he leaned down to move her hair to one side “It’s good? You feel good?” Lena felt her mouth go dry turning so her face was pressed against the mattress chanting yes, yes, yes to him to hopefully build him up and have him take her over the edge.

Still rubbing her clit in tight circles, Harry put a hand on the back of her head pushing her face closer to the mattress as leverage to fuck into her harder until he heard…

“Oh my god. Right there you're there you found it. Your spot in there.” Chants of don’t stop and oh fucks left their mouths as Harry began to grab her ass with two hands so hard his knuckles went white she began to clench around him and gasp for air. Diving harder against her hitting his spot repeatedly he felt his thighs clench and she wrapped a hand around to hold some body part of his only for it to be his wrist she wrapped her hand that was drenched with her slick wetness for rubbing her clit and let go. “Oh god, Oh god.” her thighs gave out making her body flat on the bed and causing Harry to fall with her as he continued to chase his release only needing a few more thrusts before he finished deep inside her painting her walls and filling her with him.

Surely she thought would have to lead to his seed being planted deep inside her due to the amount and for lack of a better word speed as to which he released if it wasn't for the little pill she took every morning at 9 am.

“I know I’m squishing you but I can’t move,” Was all Harry said as he made no motion to move from on top of her, “You're making a damp spot. Budge over, you’re starting to leak out.”

“It’s literally yours, go get a cloth or shirt. Ruining my sheets right now fish and chips.” Lena let the teasing tone start up again, the same one she used when trash-talking the crew during ping pong. It was something else Harry appreciated about how well she fit into his world.

“Um ‘scuse you that was rude,” he slapped her ass lightly again only to have her suck in a breath. “Now it hurts, liar,” rolling onto his stomach next to her being eye level with her shoulder, feet dangling off a corner of the bed.

“Pleasure is over now it’s just pain, buddy,” she patted his messy hair. “Clean me now, thank you,” and then began their little tango Harry huffing and puffing about how he could never soak in post-orgasm bliss because he always has to get her cleaned up while Lena lets him know she can’t either because after he cleans her because she has to pee to avoid a lovely UTI. Then that leads to the million-dollar question on Lena’s mind that never leaves her mouth until tonight because well dammit she wants him around now she wants his time and affection all the time now. Wants to feel his warmth and deal with his picky behavior because as much as he wants to deny it he’s so incredibly high maintenance once he’s comfortable with someone.

“Do you have to go? Toronto is not even a two-hour flight.” They were laid up in a king-sized bed and wrapped up in teal clean and dry sheets that belonged to Lena, less than two hours post-concert and orgasm.

“Do I have to go? '' is the wrong question, I don’t want to,” Kiss “Plus side, after these last few shows I take a break and you get to come to London with me for a bit.”

“Is that so? I don’t remember making those plans,” Smirk painted on her swollen lips “But I’ll agree on a few very serious conditions.” An eyebrow quirked up and everything.

“Go ahead, I’m easy.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“Rude.”

“Anyways, I want coffee with real cream and caramel. I also want the right side of the bed,” putting a finger to his lips as he opened his mouth. “I also want to see one thing that makes you, you.”

They laid in bed for another hour waiting on the car that would wisk Harry away to his last few shows. As they waited they talked about London, his family, and all the exciting tour stories he had been holding in because they were the stories for someone else. The stories were for someone that he wanted to tell, someone that was supposed to congratulate him at the end of the tour, someone who had gone home with him real home-like Holmes Chapel who had been the last person he brought home to meet his stepfather. But Lena was there, she was there to listen and give him appropriate responses being a good listener knowing just when to stay quiet when to respond when to just give an airy laugh.

~~~~~~~~

“I’m going to Japan.” They were on facetime and he had his phone down on his counter giving Lena a view of his ceiling while he made himself his black coffee and butter concoction, well she figured as she heard the clicking and clunking of the spoon inside the mug.

Lena was cutting up magazine pages and scraps of fabric to throw together a mood board for her boss, the sound of scissors on fabric and paper ringing over through her phone. “Heard it’s pretty there, it’s on my bucket list.”

“You should fly out, ’m only going to be there for two weeks tops.” Lena gave him a hum of acknowledgment because she was not one to invite herself. “Now let me see this thing, I want to see the culprit that’s keeping me from getting laid.” Sarcasm and loving every second of smugness made Lena hold up the picture and fabric-covered cardboard. “Oh, that’s me in my purple glitter shirt! I made the board.”

“Always in the mood for you, besides I fucks with the glitter. I’m making it come back.”

“Fucks? Len, have you been chatting with the interns again? Your hip lingo is kinda hot.”

“You’re so old, who says hip anymore” Coming back into her view, raising an eyebrow and looking up as if he was looking at a calendar inside his head. “Now when are you going to be away?”

“In a week or two at the latest I’ve always wanted to go there but I’m not sure I can be there for too long. Gonna miss my girls,” the sung little smirk that popped out his left dimple she loved to make an appearance as he lowered his eyes to her silk pajama cami neckline “They keep me company when you doze off on me.”

Lifting her cami that slipped lower than was modest she snarled a lip at him, “You're getting a little gross their buddy. That’s nice that you get to be a tourist there, heard it’s beautiful especially around this time might even get to see this light festival I read an article…” with her enthusiasm and knowledge she became a siren to him. Lena often went on and spat out facts and articles she had read in her free time it’s what drew Harry to her she had depth something he always feared he lacked due to his early found stardom. Harry feared he would always be Harry Styles who came with flashing lights and endless amounts of money who dripped clout to any fame-hungry person.

She was helping mend a wound that was in the shape of something else.

Lena was different, she knew that she was independent to an extent, never needing someone to hold her hand when she was at the beach going all the way up until her waist but to go deeper into the ocean she needed an encouraging hand. She could go days without talking to him and never needed to be reassured of what she meant to him but when she got in, she relished in the feeling melted into his words and sweet talk. She worried about losing him but never spent days thinking of their time as an hourglass with sand running through it slow and steady.

Week one was fine, a facetime call here and there and a few posts on his close friends. Talks about London were made this week.

“We can stay at mine for a bit and then go visit my sister.”

“Think you could swap out those paintings.”

“She can take you around Oxford Street, best shopping you’d love it.”

Week two

“I think I want to stay a little longer.” Sounded like a statement correction decision he was staying longer but wanted it to sound like a mutual decision. He was good at that after the first week in Japan he started doing it making statements and decisions as if she could disagree but she couldn’t at the same time.

“As in days or weeks?” trailing off towards the end pushing her thick-rimmed glasses further up her nose she was wearing a graphic t-shirt that belonged to him so she moved the camera further up her face so he couldn’t see it because she felt a little embarrassed now. here she was missing him so much that she wore a DreamBoat t-shirt with lacy blue panties, he loved her in blue and they had been apart for a while it was going to be his treat.

“Not too sure at the moment, not too long,” Harry had his phone on his swing, the instrument he had been using to write with. “You’ve got some vacation time, I know we are going to use it for London but I think I want to show you around here. Akio can come with us. It's beautiful.”

Feeling her cheeks heat up she lowered her phone so he could see she was wearing his t-shirt. “I just need to give notice but you know Ellie wouldn’t say no,” opening her laptop she began pulling up tickets before she knew it it was Monday and she was asking Ellie for a PTO which she was granted.

Next Thursday came with an early wake-up call and a short drive to Philly International with a Dunkin’ Donuts coffee to prepare for a 24-hour flying arrangement in First Class because a saint she was not and Harry insisted she needed it for a long flight. Philadelphia to LA with a layover then a 12-hour flight and hour-long immigration and customs security check and it was now 6 am and all she wanted was Harry and his disgusting black coffee and butter concoction.

There he was in black sweatpants, white thermal, and an olive green trench coat, and his feet were covered by Vans with <i>tea<i> and a warm pastry Akio had brought, wrapping her arms around his middle section and rubbing her nose in his chest. “Hi sleepy girl, let’s get you to the hotel,” dropping a kiss onto the crown of her head breathing in her scent that was mixed with lavender and airplane air, she let out a hum of approval before he led her by hand and took her suitcase and purse from her. “This is nice, what is it?” He turns the bag to get a better look.

“Prada,” rubbing a tired hand on the side of her face “Why a hotel and not where you're staying?” a gust of wind made her shimmy closer to Harry as they walked through the parking lot where his Toyota Prius was parked. “A Prius? How eco-friendly you are.”

Opening the door for her letting her get accommodated he finally leaned down and placed a soft kiss on her lips, “Been sleeping on a couch, can’t do the things I want on a couch,” pressing a kiss on her lips again while getting a loving cheek rub from her he went back to placing her things in the trunk.

“We won’t be doing anything until I sleep at least five hours,” Puckering her lips again for another kiss but Harry’s attention was to her luggage and placing it in the trunk. “No, want more loving.”

Bringing his hand to her cheek and placing a kiss on her lips that was far from appropriate to be given out in the open, “That’s what this week will be all about.”

Oh.Oh. It dawned on her this was a lovers holiday, he had brought her here as a lover, companion, cheerleader of some sort. He needed her here. After all, he wanted to spend time with her, to be with her because the last time he saw her he was about to wrap up his tour and he missed her. They were supposed to meet up in London after his two-week stay in Japan but Japan had extended itself to further notice.

“We do a lot on the couch,” smearing her lips on his but the sleepy puffy lips she wore made him want to cuddle her to sleep but also do the dirtiest things. “I’m just so tired right now I think I’d just lay there.” She snorted because she always put in as much work as her partner. That was Friday morning because Friday afternoon was far less innocent.

“Come out here already.” Sitting on the end of the bed in just his red Calvin Klein boxers per Lena’s request because everything was done at her request when she was around. In the bathroom she was fixing all the straps to her what she calls slight BDSM lingerie it’s nothing too crazy really and by that, it means TSA didn’t stop the girl from it.

There were leather straps where on her chest and small circular cut leather patches covered each nipple there was a thick leather belt above her navel that was belt together by a buckle and these crotchless panties that shouldn’t even be considered panties because they covered nothing at all. What was a real treat was the collar she wore, they had discussed it back in Jamaica how collars and handcuffs excited them but like always nothing happened because Lena had a boyfriend back then and Harry was too much of a good guy to act on anything.

“Hold on, I’m out of breath from all this.” running a hand through her hair she looked in the mirror and turned to see her backside was completely bare aside from the two thick straps that ran under each of her ass cheeks. Getting a bottle of body oil on dripping it down her front, lathering up her body for him she took a deep breath and opened the door.

Harry’s mouth went dry, never had he had someone fill fantasies like Lena. She wanted to please him in every sense of the word

By Tuesday Kunichi had fallen in love with her, something about her attitude and how she always had to be doing something like reading, knitting, or trying the cuisine there and never making a face. What Kunichi loved yes loved best about Lena was how even though he was the host Lena still hosted both her boys as she had taken to calling him and Harry.

“My boys looked like they needed some water.”

“Where are my boys taking me to eat for lunch later.”

Taking Harry’s headphones out of his ears when he fell asleep, taking the poetry book out of his hand and placing the worn-out sticky note on the page he left off on to mark it or peeling the orange Kunichi had been eyeing before passing it to him. Kuichi had noticed how this beautiful girl loved his new friend and then he noticed how it was going to end because even though Harry had made sure to get the Wings record Lena had looked for on Monday at the bar was delivered in time for their Wednesday date Lena was giving more than Harry was prepared to receive.

Wednesday came and it was Lena who had realized she was starting to fall in love. Something about the way Harry would strum on his guitar and have her hold the phone so he could listen to it afterward for hours on end. Or maybe it was the softest sweaters and cardigans he had taken to wearing that make him look like...well boyfriend material. It could also have been how he had taken to holding her hand when they walked the dog Harry had claimed he wouldn’t miss because it wasn’t his. The affection had become less about lust and more about comfort for Lena. Right now they were at a bar and Lean was looking for her Wings record she was sure they had to have. She had listened to them over and over again in her loft, his dressing room, his tour bus all those years ago.

“Hey, it was here the whole time,” pulling out the record and taking it to Yoshi (another one of Harry’s new friends who had fallen in love with Lena) “You said you didn’t have it you liar, is it because I have a better karaoke voice than you?” wiggling her finger at Yoshi who just shook his head and grabbed the record from her hands.

“I was telling the truth, your lad over there made sure it was delivered today before you got here. something about it being the favorite album of his favorite girl.” the sentence had her feel a literal swoon. Harry had swept her off her feet and he wasn’t even there metaphorically and literally but yes he was because as soon as she heard the bell ring the atmosphere changed.

“I hear your song playing,” wrapping his arms from behind and pressing a kiss to her temple then moving to her cheek. “Akio was supposed to wait for me to get here first, how did he pull you out of the fabric store so fast?” nuzzling his nose on her shoulder blade before placing three kisses up her neck until he reached her cheek again.

“Well, I was just so excited to see you,” turning around to face him and kissing from Adam’s apple to his chin. “I only picked out a few fabrics but the thought of you distracted me so much that I couldn't bear the thought of being away from you any longer.” finally placed a kiss on his lips.

“They closed early didn’t they?”

“Yeah,” she said with a pout. “I still had two more floors and I bought so much fabric I think I’ll have to vacuum seal and you’ll still have to bring some with you,” reaching down to grab his hand and give it a squeeze. “How’d you know I was lying?”

“I know you,” sloppy kiss to her lips “You and fabric have an unspoken love for each other. I took you to the Gucci showroom and you were so wet I didn’t even have to,” A loud yelp from Akio stopped him from continuing, making a show of kissing her to annoy his new friends. “So I believe I let you sleep on the right side of the bed, Akio brings all your coffee requirements, I believe I owe you one more thing.” something that makes Harry, Harry.

“I meant in London.”

“We can do this in London and every other country as well.” Well, fuck he planned for more of her, more time, more traveling, more feeling, more of them together.

A Britney song some spice girls and of course a One direction song because Lena was no saint and here they were at 4 am and in the hotel no hot and steamy sex no he was about to open up to her but not in the way she thought he would. They had gotten home at 1 maybe 2 and Harry had stayed up to write while Lena had fallen asleep but like always she had woken up to find the journal about to fall from his hands reaching over to take it from his hands and then using a finger to hold the bag open so she could find his post it but it’s nowhere to be found.

And she shouldn’t no she shouldn't if she was smart she would have closed the journal and gone to sleep but she didn’t and before she knew it the tears streamed down her face as she used her hands to cover her mouth her sobs. These weren't just poems there were his inner thoughts dating back to when they first started seeing each other.

His thoughts about the one before her.The one he still thought about the one he still craved and still fucking wanted. She was making him feel better, she was easing his ache, numbing his broken heart, she was his fucking rebound. On one side of the hotel was the man she just traveled to the other side of the world for and on the other was a distraction to his pain.

How fucking stupid did she feel right now. She went to bed thinking that he wanted a future with her wanted more than sex and a few kisses at night while he was daydreaming about someone else. Wishing she was someone else, pretending she was someone else. When he looked at Lena his heart wasn’t there. She was nothing to him but a warm fucking body that would twist in any position he wanted her to be in.

She felt sick to her stomach.

Tonight after what she thought was a wonderful night that would for sure lead to a relationship. They had sung karaoke, ate food, knocked a couple of beers back with his buddies, he had welcomed her into his world. She went to bed thinking she was something to him, she dreamt about their relationship that was about to blossom but as she slept thinking of him, Harry was thinking of someone else and how if Lena wasn’t in his bed the other one would be here, making Lena the final nail in the coffin of his previous relationship.

On the other side of the door, Harry had woken up after he shuffled in his sleep trying to snuggle up to his Lena. Rubbing his eyes to lift his head from the comfort of his pillow he looked at the clock that would mock him with the bright 6:00 for the next few months, he noticed the morning hue that hinted to the beginning stages of morning that had started to creep its way into the hotel room telltale that some time had passed since he had seen his lover and it was strange that Lena would wake up before him.

His curiosity was short-lived. The bathroom door swung open revealing a red-faced brunette dressed in a striped cardigan that she held closed with her left hand because all she had was the black panties Harry handed her after they made love when they got back from their date just a few hours ago. While her left hand held the cardigan closed the right held the reason her heart was breaking and her chest was aching from the sobs that had left her mouth.

When Harry noticed what was in her hands he felt an ice bath pour over his body. Pulling his body up from his position on his belly he sat but with his legs touching the floor getting ready to stand but the hand Lena raised to him in a stop motion put a pause on his movement.

Swallowing to dry and wet his throat that had become dry, “What did you read?” he cringed, those were the wrong words and he knew it because the response he received was a journal hitting his chest and a frantic girl walking towards her suitcase that laid on the floor.

Pulling out leggings and a company sweatshirt she let out a chuckle, “I think you should just not fucking talk,” putting on the leggings and then turning away from him so she could take the cardigan off and cover herself with her sweatshirt so he couldn’t see her naked body but it was comical because that man had already seen, touched and tasted every part of her.

“I think I should explain what you just read,” Watching as she walked to her bedside table that held her lotions, wallet, and phone that was connected to her charger. “I've been expressing how I feel after.”

“Just fucking say you think about her while we fuck because that’s what I am right? A fuck,” going into her browser and googling one-way flights to Philly and New York see which one would get her away from Harry sooner and from some grace of whatever was above it was a flight to Philly so she pulled out her card and began typing in the information.

“Just sit down, let me explain.”

“Explain what exactly? How you’re playing pretend, how you miss her accent, how alone you feel, how she has your unwavering devotion?” She flips the card around to type in the little three-digit code in the back that would confirm her ticket and she takes a second. Does she want to do this, does she want to leave on these terms? Does she want to make a permanent decision on this temporary emotion? No, she doesn’t “Tell me you haven’t thought about her since you’ve been with me and I’ll stay.” The hope in her eyes is so prominent Lena is begging him to reassure her that she made this up in her head, she wasn't a rebound but when he gives her a hopeless guilty look she adds the three numbers and presses confirm.

The next fifteen minutes are spent with Harry not moving from his spot, eyes watching Lena move from each corner of the room making sure she hasn’t left anything behind she reaches over to the phone that was on Harry’s bedside table to call for a taxi does Harry then reach for her. Coiling away from his touch for the first time because he has hurt her in a way she hadn’t expected.

“Just explain,” walking backward she got her suitcase to stand up and held the handle for strength “I can work past this if you explain it to me.” She said this but she didn’t mean it she couldn’t after this.

“I started writing when she and I broke up,” wiping his hands on his naked thighs due to how short his briefs were, “I wanted to work through it, really feel the loss of her but then I started feeling angry, how dare she breaks up with me and I was becoming this person I didn’t recognize so I stopped and in the mix of all that I got close to you and you distracted me from that feeling. You distracted me from falling into that dark person I was becoming.” Standing and walking over to Lena who was using the luggage as a crutch because god did that fucking hurt to hear. “I didn’t think I would feel this for you but I do. It was wrong of me to begin something with you knowing I still have a lot of shit to work through and when I think of apologizing to you about it I thought about how an apology,” And he went on to talk but she wasn’t there for it physically and mentally because she had walked out not bearing to hear how she let herself be fooled by this man.

“Hi um it’s me, Lena. In case you don’t have my number saved I just want you to. I just want to say congratulations on the award and opening. You looked good, happy even and Jeff he should be proud.” Then came the pause that allowed her to let a cry slip and a swipe to her nose. “Saw Sarah’s bump you’re probably so happy, congratulate her for me too, please. God, I sound so fucking stupid I...Jesus fucking christ okay um..”

[peakyblindersxx]

ice blue - tommy shelby x reader

a/n: hi lovelies! i literally just finished typing this and i’ve gotten so many notes on my preview of it that i literally couldn’t wait to give this to you guys. i really really hope you like it :) lmk if there’s anything in specific you guys want me to write, otherwise the next thing i’m working on is gonna be with john (i’ve already started it and this one is fucking hOt a bitch is sweating). as always message me literally about anything or if you want me to start a taglist

love, abi xxx

prompt: you’re back home in Birmingham and you need a job. Tommy Shelby offers you one.

warnings: nsfw!! smut, light choking, power kink oops

You stepped out of the car, cold air coming up to brush against your ankles as you shivered in the brisk English evening, wrapping your black wool coat tightly around you. You were once again new to Birmingham, having grown up there, but at the age of 9, you were sent to a boarding school in London after your parents were killed in a house fire. You had gone on to college, but had to drop out because you simply couldn’t make ends meet. Now, at the age of 21, you were back home, looking for a job, and as soon as you arrived, the first person to call was your best schoolmate, Ada Shelby. Ada was spunky, fearless, and didn’t take no for an answer, which was one of the reasons the two of you got on so well. She had insisted on taking you out to her family’s bar, despite your pleas that you were exhausted. Fuck it, you had thought to yourself. If you were going to go out, you were going to look good doing it. So, you slipped on your best set of red silk lingerie and your shortest black lace dress which dipped low to accentuate your breasts and applied a dark red lipstick as well as eyeliner. Underneath, you slid on a pair of sheer black tights and slipped on black kitten heels. You slipped on a pair of dangly silver earrings, admiring yourself in the mirror before you had slid your silver cigarette case and lighter into a black clutch, shrugged on your coat, and made your way out the door.

There, Ada had been waiting in the back of a Model T, looking gorgeous in a dark purple silk dress. She had greeted you with open arms and a huge smile, chattering on about how beautiful you looked and how much she had missed you. The two of you had managed to stay in contact throughout the years, writing letters about the current events, so you knew all about her baby, and pressed her with many questions about how she was doing. Now, here you were, in front of a bar, the muffled drunken shouts and laughter seeping through the brick walls.

“I’m so glad you’re here,” Ada grinned at you, nudging you with her shoulder. “Come on, let’s go in, and don’t worry about paying. This is my family’s bar,” she said, leading you towards the wooden doors.

“Fuck, Ada, your family owns this whole thing?” You marveled at the exterior of the building as Ada practically dragged you towards the double doors.

“Yeah, it’s all that and everything,” Ada waved her hand dismissively as she reached for the door handle. “Let’s get to the damn bar already, I need a fucking drink.” She pulled the doors open and the noise washed over you, the smell of alcohol permeating the air. The bar was dimly lit, with leather upholstery and plenty of drunk Englishmen. Bottles of spirits adorned an entire wall behind the bar in the rear. The noise swirled around you as Ada pushed her way through the crowd, determined to reach her destination. Finally, you reached the bar, and almost immediately a bartender appeared. You had known the Shelby’s were powerful, but Ada had never really talked about her family’s business. They must have been fucking loaded; the way people parted for Ada, you couldn’t even imagine the way they must have bowed for her brothers. You had never really interacted with them, but you assumed that was going to change. All you really knew about them was from the rumors, which were gruesome and plentiful.

“Give me two whiskeys,” Ada said to the bartender, who slid the glasses her way. “Thanks, Harry,” Ada yelled, handing you a glass and pulling you towards the rear of the bar, opening a door and ushering you in. As soon as you entered the room, the entire atmosphere shifted. This room was much quieter; you could even hear jazz music over the chatter. Smoke clouded the air, and you downed your drink to quiet your nerves, as you had realized that these were some of the most powerful people in the city that surrounded you. A maid appeared to take you and Ada’s jackets, and as you slipped off your coat, a wave of insecurity hit you. Ada was making small talk with an unfamiliar woman next to you, and you tapped her shoulder, telling her you were heading to the bar as she nodded, shouting after you, “When you come back, get me another whiskey!”

You laughed, turning and making your way to the bar, sliding into a stool upholstered with crushed red velvet. You motioned the bartender over, and as you waited, you took out a cigarette and lit it. The bartender set your whiskey in front of you, and as soon as you had picked it up, Ada had you by the arm and was tugging you to a booth, your whiskey and cigarette still in hand, your clutch tucked under your arm. In the booth sat three men, each of varying ages and all adorned in formal wear and newsboy caps, complete with glistening pocket-watch chains.

“Shove over,” Ada said, pulling you into the booth next to one of the brothers. “Y/N, these are my daft brain brothers, Arthur, Tommy, and John.” The oldest, sporting various scars across his face did little but grunt and touch his hat, getting up to exit the booth, and the youngest had already started bickering across the table with Ada, something about who was the biggest idiot. The middle brother, however, was fucking gorgeous. You already knew you were screwed. He had long doe eyelashes, framing ice blue eyes, and his jawline was neatly defined. His cologne alone was doing things to you. Get it together, you thought to yourself, downing the whiskey in your glass. The motion caught his attention and you felt his gaze on you, piercing your soul and sending goosebumps down your spine. He put his cigarette to his mouth and took a drag, and you couldn’t help but draw your eyes to the way his lips parted.

“You like Irish whiskey?” His smooth voice shook you to the core. You looked at him in shock for a second before quickly collecting yourself.

“I’ve always drank it, my whole family does,” you responded, your gaze lifting to meet his. He leaned back, eyes drinking you in. You chewed your lip, pressing your thighs together in an effort to quench the ache that had begun to form.

“Tommy!” A voice rang from across the room. The brother, who you assumed now was named Tommy, stood. “Excuse me for a minute,” Tommy said, stepping aside to converse with a woman you recognized as Ada’s aunt. The woman seemed angry, but then, from what you remembered, she always had. After a few minutes, she left and Tommy slid back into the booth, exhaling and shooting his whiskey. Ada and the youngest brother, who you had learned was John had both moseyed off, so it was just you and Tommy in the booth, in the corner of the room. Tommy took a drag of his cigarette and sighed.

“Ada told me you need a job,” he said, eyes lingering on you.

“I do,” you admitted, “but I don’t want you to feel obliged or anything. I can manage-”

“I need a new assistant,” Tommy cut you off, but you honestly didn’t mind. Something about the way he did it managed not to rub you the wrong way. “It’s mostly paperwork, but I’d pay you well. 40 shillings a week.” Tommy took the last drag of his cigarette, putting it out while still holding you in his gaze.

“I can do that,” you managed to blurt out. God knows what you were getting yourself into, getting hired by a man that not only had a notorious reputation but was making you trip over your own words. Something about the way he looked at you, though, made you say yes. You already couldn’t resist him. God damn it, you thought to yourself.

Across from you, Tommy pulled his jacket on. “Monday, 8 am. My office.” He slipped a piece of paper to you with an address scrawled on it, standing and leaving. As quickly as you had become intoxicated by him, he had left. The whole night, throughout all of Ada’s chatter, on the way home, in the bath, in bed, he never left the back of your mind. You wanted to be his, as much as you tried to fight the thought for not only your sake but Ada’s. You knew it was impossible, that he would want you like this, so you reserved yourself to daydreaming. His hands on your hips, his mouth on yours: you craved it, unsatisfied by your own touch even after multiple rounds. You couldn’t escape him.

***

You awoke nervous, stomach doing cartwheels. You hadn’t seen Tommy since Saturday at the bar when you had met, and the anticipation of seeing him and having to hold yourself together and not beg him to bend you over the nearest piece of furniture was almost overwhelming. You decided on a simple black blouse and a tight black skirt with black tights and heels. You pulled your fitted wool coat over your shoulders and stepped out into the cool British morning, horses clopping past as your heels clacked over the bricks, making your way past children playing and yelling. The wind whipped past your cheeks, staining them a rosy pink as you pulled open the heavy wooden door of the office building. The warm air surrounded you, and above the conversations between the workers seated and standing around desks, you could faintly hear Ada arguing with someone in a back room somewhere. The office consisted of wood furniture and a couple of separated rooms, you assumed, for Ada’s brothers, the heads of the company. The fireplace in the corner provided a much needed reprieve from the wind outside, and you slipped your coat off, hanging it on the coat rack. One of the doors read “The office of Thomas Shelby” in gold lettering, and you knocked lightly, not wanting to appear late on your first day.

“Come in,” Tommy’s voice echoed from inside the room and you opened the door, closing it slowly behind you. Tommy was seated at a dark leather chair behind a desk, taking a drag from a cigarette whilst reading from a newspaper spread out in front of him. He looked up at you, clad in a dark grey vest which hugged his chest deliciously with a white collared dress shirt and black tie underneath. Gold chains sat firmly on his biceps, ice blue eyes boring through your clothes and making your cheeks flush. He sat like a king on his throne, and it was tantalizing.

“Good morning, Mr. Shelby,” you spoke quietly but firmly, eyes trailing up to meet his. He cracked a small smirk when your gaze met his, and it felt like he could see right through your shirt and your black lace bra. It must be your imagination, you thought, that he could be undressing you with his eyes like that. Surely you were delusional.

“You decided to take me up on my offer, I see,” Tommy said, leaning back and crossing his arms across his chest in a way that made you want to test his self control. “You know how to type, I assume?” His eyes flickered over your figure, lingering on the curve of your hips, making you feel like this wasn’t a regular business transaction. What you wouldn’t give to be one of the whores he visits in the middle of the night… You quickly gathered yourself together and responded.

“Yes,” you spoke. “I’ve worked as a secretary before.” Tommy nodded, standing and making his way around the front of his desk to lean on it, narrowing the space between the two of you significantly. “I’m not your normal businessman, you see,” he said, leaning back against the desk. “I keep odd hours, so if I asked you to stay late, would that be a problem?”

“No sir,” you replied, unable to rip your eyes off of the curve of Tommy’s lips and how they looked puffing at a cigarette.

“Good girl.” Your mouth dropped open slightly at his shameless assertiveness, a blush spreading across your cheeks. You couldn’t believe his forwardness, you thought, but you weren’t going to lie, it was fucking hot. Tommy grinned at you, turning his back to grab a bottle of whiskey and two glasses from the barcart in the corner of the room. He made his way back to his seat and placed the whiskey as well as the glasses on his desk, filling each and gesturing for you to sit with his hand. You sunk into the chair, legs crossed tightly in an attempt to relieve your throbbing core. You were absolutely fucked, you thought. Tommy opened a drawer, rifling through some papers before producing a contract typed in black ink.

“Cheers,” he offered you a glass of whiskey in one hand and a pen in the other. You accepted both, quickly rifling through the contract and scribbling your signature on the last page. Once you signed, your eyes flickered up to meet Tommy’s and he grinned, boyishly handsome yet devious.

“To new beginnings,” he said, offering his glass to clink against yours. You downed the whiskey in one gulp as Tommy looked on, blue eyes drinking you in.

“Nervous, darling?” he drawled, puffing at his cigarette. You suddenly felt a rush of confidence you hadn’t before. You could play this game too, and if you were, you were going to do it well.

“No,” you shook your head, a shy smile playing at your lips. “Just want to get to the point, is all.”

Tommy chuckled. “A woman after my own heart, aye?” With every glance he gave you, you became more emboldened. Yet, the man was still your boss, and you were in no place to proposition him, so you had to play coy.

“If that’s what you’d like, Mr. Shelby,” you said, looking up at him through your eyelashes as you reached for your cigarette case, taking one out and lighting it, exhaling a small cloud of smoke. Tommy refilled his glass, taking a swig as he stood and made his way to a cabinet, retrieving a stack of papers. He made his way back to his seat, placing the pile in front of you.

“I need these transaction records typed up by Friday, end of the day. Can you do that?”

You nodded, pink-stained lips puffing at the butt of your cigarette. “Is that all, Mr. Shelby?”

Tommy’s eyes flickered towards your mouth, and he took another drink. “For now, yes. I’ll have John show you to your desk, yeah?”

“Yes, Mr. Shelby,” you responded politely, putting out your cigarette. You could feel Tommy’s eyes on you as you left the room. As soon as you closed the office door behind you, you almost let out a sigh of relief. You hadn’t realized how tightly you’d been pressing your legs together, and they almost felt shaky. You didn’t know how you were going to get through another day of this, let alone the rest of the week. Fuck me, you thought to yourself.

***

The rest of the weekdays flew by, as you kept yourself busy with not only the work Tommy had given you but also managing his appointments and relaying his messages to his two brothers and other various family members. You got on with everyone in the office relatively well, most likely at Ada’s enforcement. She could be very assertive, but that was normal, considering she was the only girl with 4 brothers.

Your contact with Tommy, though often, was all business. He would spend hours at his desk, frowning down at various papers and logs with his whiskey and a cigarette, long after the others had gone home. He would always send you home though, telling you to get some rest. Though he was assertive, you found him to be surprisingly sweet. He didn’t hold doors for you or anything like that, but you didn’t expect that; you knew your place in the company. However, he never kept you late if you looked exhausted and would do small things, like let Ada interrupt your work with whatever news or gossip she had, and never said a thing, just smiled. However, Ada’s chatter had gotten the better of you and it was already Friday.

Around 8pm, after most of the office had left for the day, you finally typed up the last transaction log, sighing with relief and slumping back in your chair for a brief moment before straightening up and smoothing out your plum-colored pencil skirt and white blouse. You flipped open your contact mirror, making sure your pinned-up hair looked acceptable before putting out your cigarette, gathering the pile of papers and log, and knocked on Tommy’s door.

“Come in, Y/N,” Tommy’s voice came through the door and you shivered, already nervous not only to be alone with him but also about the quality of your work. You pulled the door open, closing it behind you and walking up to Tommy’s desk, where he sat in a light grey three-piece suit reading through a folder. A pair of gold spectacles sat neatly on his face, and a cigarette hung loosely from his lips, making your mind wander.

“I have the papers you wanted typed up in the log, Mr. Shelby,” you spoke, clutching the book so tightly in your hand that you had to tell yourself to loosen your grip. “Is there somewhere you’d like me to put them?”

Tommy gestured with his right hand towards the desk, his eyes still trained on the files. “Set them on the desk, and stay.” You complied, standing in front of his desk, and Tommy closed the folder, placing it into a drawer and locking it, taking off his glasses and setting them down on his oak desk. He reached for the work you had completed, flipping through it and letting out a small grunt of approval. “Very good.”

A blush crept across your cheeks. “Thank you, Mr. Shelby,” you responded, trying to focus your mind on something other than the way he would look on top of you.

Tommy set the work aside, eyes now firmly trained on you. “Tell me something, Y/N,” he said, taking a draw from the cigarette in his mouth. “Have you ever been fucked?”

Your mouth dropped open in shock. “Mr. Shelby, I-”

Tommy chuckled, shooting his whiskey and refilling his glass from the bottle on his desk, leaning back in his chair. “I’m not asking if you’re a virgin. I’m asking you if you’ve ever been fucked, properly.”

Your face was a rose pink, and it wasn’t just from the embarrassment. “I don’t know what you mean, Mr. Shelby-”

“I think you do.” Tommy smirked at you, ice blue eyes tracing your figure. The heat between the two of you was practically unbearable, and you had to remind yourself to keep breathing.

“No, not really,” you whispered, thighs clenched together as your eyes met Tommy’s.

Tommy smiled, almost deviously. “I didn’t think so,” he said, taking another drag and putting the cigarette out as he stood, coming around his desk and leaning back against it, eyes still fixed on you. “Do you want to be?”

You almost couldn’t believe the words you were hearing. Yet, Tommy was here, in front of you, asking if you wanted to be fucked by him. “Yes.” The answer almost fell out of your mouth, and your knees felt weak. Tommy wasted no time in closing the distance between the two of you, pressing you up against the nearest wall as his lips met yours. The feeling of his body against yours was better than you had imagined, and as his hips met yours, you let out a soft moan into his mouth.

“Fuck,” Tommy growled, picking you up by your legs and placing you on his desk, sweeping all the papers off with a sweep of his arm. A glass crashed onto the ground but he didn’t care, tugging his shirt over his shoulders while you removed yours. He pulled you against him roughly as he reconnected his lips with yours, his cock pressed up against your damp underwear. He stopped kissing you to let you pull off your skirt, discarding it somewhere on the floor, leaving you in your black garters and underwear.

“Look at you,” Tommy groaned, palming his cock through his trousers as he stared at your touseled hair and swollen lips and the way you were breathing hard. “All fucking riled up for me already, and I haven’t even gotten you naked yet, aye?”

“Mr. Shelby, please sir,” you whined, eyes widening as you realized what you had just said. Tommy’s eyes, however, darkened as he stepped inches away from you.

“Is that how you want it, huh?” Tommy breathed down your neck and you shivered, his hand gently wrapping around your throat. “You want to be fucked on the boss’s desk?” He reached his other hand down to cup your cunt. You squirmed in protest, pushing yourself against his hand as he chuckled darkly.

“You going to be a good girl for me?” Tommy cajoled, pressing his palm against your clit. You moaned, nodding vigorously as you looked up at him through your eyelashes. He pulled your panties down, ripping your garters off and slipped a finger inside of you, making you cry out in response and clench around his fingers. He quickly joined that finger with another, pumping them in and out of you.

“Oh fuck,” you cried as you felt your release approaching. “Oh God, I’m gonna cum..”

“Cum for me then, pretty girl. Make a mess for me, yeah?” Tommy growled into your ear as you came all over his fingers. Tommy chuckled as you caught your breath, bringing his fingers to his mouth.

“God, you’re sweet,” he murmured, his eyes blown out with lust. Your breath hitched at his words and you kissed him, tasting yourself on his tongue. He pushed your back against the desk, unbuckling his pants and pulling out his cock before running the tip of it against your wet core.

“Please..” You squirmed against him in an attempt to get him to comply.

Tommy smirked. “What is it you want, huh?” You moaned in response, hips rocking up. Tommy’s hand made his way to your neck, holding it firmly yet not hard enough to bruise. “I wanna hear you say it, sweetheart. Maybe then I’ll give it to you.”

“Sir, please,” you cried out, hips still undulating. “I want your cock inside me.”

Tommy’s eyes dilated and he pushed himself inside of you, snapping his hips against yours at an unbelievable pace. Your eyes rolled back into your head and you were seeing stars, but you wanted everything he was willing to give you. He hadn’t even claimed you, yet you were already his. Your moans echoed throughout the office as he fucked you faster, your hands gripping at the desk, then scratching at his back. He didn’t seem to care about the marks, as he buried his face in your neck, nipping at the sensitive skin. You felt yourself coming close to the edge once again, and you tipped your head back, crying out as Tommy fucked you through your second, third, and fourth orgasm. He had you over the desk, up against the wall, even on the chair, and you didn’t care. You wanted it just as badly as he did. Finally, Tommy had you on your back on the couch, hand around your neck as he fucked you. Your eyes flickered up to meet his as you gasped.

“Please come in me, sir,” you gasped as Tommy grunted, setting an unrelenting pace.

“You’re mine,” he growled as he fucked into you. “Every inch. If I catch anyone here even looking at you, I swear to God, I’ll fucking kill them. You belong to me now, yeah?” He panted.

“I’m all yours,” you moaned at the thought.

“Mine,” he groaned, his cock twitching before he released inside of you, cum dripping down the backs of your thighs. It felt dirty, but you didn’t care. Tommy Shelby could make a mess of you in front of the entire World’s Fair and you wouldn’t protest.

After a moment of delirious silence, Tommy stood, lighting a cigarette and offering one to you. You took it graciously as he sat next to you, leaning back into the crushed velvet.

“So,” he said, blue eyes looking into yours, “I ripped your garters.” He reached into his discarded pants’ pocket, pulling out a 10 pound note from a huge stack and offering it to you.

“So you can buy new ones,” he spoke, taking a drag from his cigarette.

You accepted it, taking a drag from your cigarette. “So, would this make me a whore now?”

Tommy chuckled. “We’re all whores, Y/N. We just sell different parts.” He took a puff from his cigarette, exhaling softly. “But now, you’re with me. You’re going to have to get used to nicer things, yeah?” His eyes traced your figure before coming back to yours, smiling softly.

“If you say so, Mr. Shelby,” you smiled shyly before putting your cigarette out in the ashtray on the table and retrieving your discarded clothing from around the room, putting it on one piece at a time. You could feel Tommy’s eyes on you as he drank from his glass, and you liked it. Before you could start to make your way to the door, Tommy quickly pressed you up against his desk in a passionate kiss.

He broke the kiss, smirking slightly. “I’ll call you tomorrow, yeah?”

You looked up at him inquisitively. “But I haven’t even given you my number.”

Tommy grinned. “Don’t worry, darling, I’ll get it,” he said, eyes drifting after your figure as you headed for the door. Before you left, you looked up into his ice blue eyes. “Goodnight, Mr. Shelby,” you smiled.

“Goodnight, Y/N,” Tommy responded. You closed the door behind you, taking a deep breath after you left his office, already craving his touch on you again.

Tommy Shelby was going to be the goddamn death of you.

[permanentcrossfics]

Twelve Hours in Miami // h.s. - Part 2

Read Part 1

“Did you really just ask the front desk for a condom?” you asked.

“Intimacy kit,” he corrected you, still pink. He pinched the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath. “Comes with all sorts of things.”

“Ordered a few of them before?”

He looked at you, then, and stammered. “I just thought-- we don’t have to-- but I thought if we--”

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8:35am.

You’d fallen asleep just like that -- tangled up, skins stuck together with sweat. Two hours later, you had to peel yourselves apart with whispery snickers and pounding heads. It would’ve been gross -- it was gross, to be honest -- except it was him. You smelled like him, he smelled like you, and it poured satisfaction into a well of need for this specifically that you hadn’t known existed until it was full. 

“Stay with me.” Deep, rumbled, and just a little slurred, the words made you smile, and you curled up, eyes closed, when he dragged his warm hands and mouth along your back, shoulder, arm, chest, and stomach. One of his legs was wedged between yours, and he was leaving spongy, scratchy kisses up and down the back of your neck that made you scrunch up. “C’mon, darling,” he sighed hotly against your skin, slipping his arm firmly around your midriff to squeeze you back into his chest. “Stay w’me,” he mumbled with honeyed persuasion that needlessly gilded the spider web of his you’d found yourself in. 

“I have work, you know,” you drawled without any real conviction. Hang work -- hang it all. It was partially because of your work that you’d missed every attempt of his to connect like this over the past few days. You weren’t set to fly out that day, not just yet, but he was, and then he’d be gone and you didn’t know when you’d see him next. You’d been gifted with twelve whole hours, and almost three of them were already gone. 

“Get sick,” he said, the demand muffled by your neck, and you laughed, turning into your pillow. 

Were you really going to leave him there, in your bed, knowing he wouldn’t be there when you got back and that the hours you did have were wasted? 

You’d gone to dinner last night, and something hadn’t sat well with you. That was the excuse you used when you made your calls, trying to sound as hoarse as possible, and when the last one was done, he rolled on top of you and you laughed and tried not to focus on how easy it was for him to settle his hips between your thighs as he peppered kisses up and down your jaw and neck, all but gloating in his gratitude. 

He ordered breakfast at 8:50am and answered the door in your robe at 9:20am, giving a tip and a smile while you burrowed under the blanket and searched for the television remote somewhere in the sheets. 

It was a lazy affair, with both of you reclined against the headboard, captive audiences of the bad local news station you’d turned on to catch up with the day. Every now and then, he’d chuckle or snort or offer his commentary with a sort of bemused delight similar to a wizard discovering a toaster for the first time. “Strange, innit?” 

“What is?” you murmured, breaking off a piece of blueberry crumb muffin. 

“This!” He waved his fork and the strawberry speared on the end of it at the talking alligator on screen. “Bizarre.” He pulled the fruit off the fork with his teeth and chewed, shaking his head. 

“This is not the strangest thing you’ve ever seen.” You brought a piece of your muffin to his mouth and he opened it without breaking focus. 

“Didn’t say that, but it doesn’t mean it’s not weird.”

“Weirder than LA? New York? Texas? London? Tokyo?”

“What’s your point?” 

You snickered and took his fork from him to steal a grape from the bowl. 

“What is this?” He all but wheezed, hand on his belly over the butterfly’s wings as he stared at the screen, eyes crinkled with incredulity. 

“Open,” you said, and he did as you asked, tongue darting forward to meet your fingers. “Harry, you licked me!” you cried when you felt the wet slide over the side of your finger. 

His jaw stopped midchew, focus broken, and heat burst through you when his puckered mouth twitched and then flattened with suppressed laughter. 

“I--”

He swallowed and the bed shook with his silent chuckles. “Didn’t think about that one before y’said it, did you?” 

You made a noise in your throat and rolled away from him as he laughed behind you. “Go away,” you said into the mattress. He was still laughing when you heard the clink of dishes being set aside and when he slid up behind you to get close. 

“Have to wait a few hours for that,” he mumbled, kissing the back of your shoulder. “Couple more hours at least. Wouldn’t throw me out in the cold, would you?”

“It’s Miami,” you said, voice muffled. “You’ll be fine.” 

He turned you on to your back and slunk his way under your arm and you held your breath when he came all but nose to nose with you. You could see everything, good and less good -- every pore, every hair, every slight scar, every mole, every beginning of a pimple, all of it. “Not gonna throw me out, are you?” he repeated, huskier and warmer in a delicious way you didn’t think you were supposed to know could be this good. 

“No,” you whispered. 

He hummed, mouth curved in triumph, and you could see his mind working very fast behind his clear, green eyes. Where you’d been howling your outrage seconds ago, you were pretty sure you were both painfully aware of how close you were right then. Wordlessly, he nuzzled the warm point of his nose against yours and your eyes closed as your breath hitched. Your lips parted just as his tongue touched you lower one, and you sighed, hands slipping up his warm, strong back when the kiss deepened. He tasted sweet -- a little like the strawberry, and a little more like the blueberry and sugar from the muffin. He lowered onto his elbows and you absorbed his weight and warmth without complaint and opened your mouth wider. His groan made you shiver and when you broke, you were both panting. Gulping, he licked his lips. 

“M’gonna make a call,” he said. “Downstairs, t’get us some….” He trailed off. “Where’s the….” He grabbed the phone off the bedside table and dropped off to the side of you, jamming his thumb into a button before lifting it to his ear, and you kissed his chest and shoulder, nuzzling the warm skin. 

“Hi, yes,” he said. He cleared his throat. “I’m calling for-- I’m wondering if there’s an intimacy kit on hand?” 

You looked up at him but he kept his eyes on the ceiling, though his cheeks were flushed and he was breathing heavily. 

“Right, yes, thank you, if we could-- have that sent up, that would be… but bill it to room 2201… thank you.” He hung up and tossed the phone onto the bed.

“Did you really just ask the front desk for a condom?” you asked.

“Intimacy kit,” he corrected you, still pink. He pinched the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath. “Comes with all sorts of things.” 

“Ordered a few of them before?” 

He looked at you, then, and stammered. “I just thought-- we don’t have to-- but I thought if we--”

You kissed him, then, cutting him off, and his hands slid over your bare back as you clambered onto his lap over the sheet. Belatedly, his hands fell into the small of your back, and you were very aware of where you’d be if there was no sheet between you then. “I like this,” you confessed. Maybe you shouldn’t have, maybe it was too much to feel or vocalize, but you did, as quietly as possible so he could miss it if he wanted to. 

“Yeah,” he rasped, hand slipping down to the curve of your ass. He swallowed and you kissed his throat, inhaling the smell of his shower and the sex he’d almost had since. He was warm, and where hair didn’t tickle your mouth, he was also shockingly soft. You had no reason to think he wouldn’t be, you’d just… never thought about it, you guessed. You’d thought mostly about how his muscles would feel -- his arms, his chest, his stomach, all of which were moving heavily as he gulped and breathed deeply. It must’ve been taking his every effort to stay perfectly still underneath you. 

You tapped one of his nipples lightly with your index finger before circling it in a featherlight stroke. He huffed a laugh and you glanced up at him, smiling mischievously as his own lips quirked. Without looking at him, you kissed his nipple pertly and he tensed his stomach with a muted, “Oh, fuck.” Giggling in a whisper, you followed the kiss with a playful bite, and his hand slid down to your bare ass. 

“I’ll be good,” you said, moving to kiss down his chest and down his stomach, each one slow and lingering, tongue touching his skin. “I’ll be good,” you promised again over his navel, chin once again on a thin line of dark, soft hair, and you pressed kisses to the leaves of the ferns fanning over his hips. Under the sheet, you could see -- feel -- his cock hardening again, and above you, he struggled to keep his eyes open and on you, with his hands curling into fists alternately at his sides and on his head. “Is this ok?” you whispered.

Harry nodded with a strangled sound in his throat. He inhaled sharply, nostrils flared and lips smashed together, but he kept his eyes on you as best he could as you eased the sheet down with shaking fingers. For a moment, your mind went blank, and your lip twitched with an almost laugh when you realized. No dick was that good that it should rob anyone of coherent thought, but his was, apparently, and all yours had gone out the window -- laughable in and of itself. 

“I’m sorry,” you wheezed, pressing your forehead to his hip. “I just had a moment.”

“Think that’s a first,” he admitted in a strained drawl above you, but he was chuckling, too. 

“I’m sorry,” you repeated. “You’re great, you’re--”

“Y’not helpin’, y’know,” he said, laughing more regularly. “Gonna make a man self-conscious.”

“No.” You kissed his abdomen. “No, I’m sorry, I’m fine now, I just… forgot for a minute.”

“Forgot what?”

Everything was too much to admit to, and instead you wrapped your hand around his cock and he groaned quietly, shifting. Hard, but getting harder still, you pumped with a touch that was much more confident than you felt. Every throb pulsed into your palm, and above you, his throat bobbed as he cleared it, jaw clenching and releasing as he shifted his legs. He was the perfect grip -- big enough to fill your whole hand, but not so much that you felt ineffectual. He was smooth, and he looked so--

His groan when you sucked his head gently echoed through the room, and you felt him twitch on your tongue as you ran it around and around his head. Slowly, your eyes rolled up and closed. He felt good even in your mouth -- smooth and silky -- and he tasted like…. You lowered down, thumb touching your lower lip as a guide down his shaft, and you moaned softly, bobbing your head slowly. 

“That’s nice,” he said thickly. You heard his breath rattle in his chest and you cracked your eyes open. His own were in barely open slits, and his lips were parted, left arm thrown over his head, stretching his tattoos out ever so slightly as his muscles flexed every time he opened and closed his hand in a fist. “Shit, that’s so nice,” he intoned in disbelief, smiling with a breathless little laugh. “So soft… bein’ careful w’me, aren’t you?” 

You blinked and pushed him into your cheek with your tongue, sucking a little more, and he groaned loudly, eyes closing completely for a moment. “Jesus, that’s it,” he praised, and a knot tightened in your stomach. You ran your tongue up and down in short sweeps along the vein you could feel and his whole face crumpled as his stomach rose and fell. He dropped his hand and linked it with his other one over his chest in a basketweave, and his knuckles went white as he took slow, deep breaths. 

The rush from looking at him so powerless and vulnerable and open and trusting and absolutely in awe of every little thing you did? Intoxicating. You were shaking from it and you could feel how wet you were between your thighs -- you were dripping, like he hadn’t just licked up every bit of you he could as if his own life had depended on it. 

For a moment, with your eyes on him, you allowed yourself to imagine what it would be like to just pull your mouth off him and straddle him to sink down on him. You let yourself think of the feeling -- the full stretch, judging by the way your jaw was just about popping -- and the look on his face. You let yourself revel in the groans he’d make as his face crumpled, and how his chest would heave, and what his skin would look like with the tracks of his fingers over it as you struggled to find your proverbial footing. You’d both be sweating, and grabbing the other, and the thought of his teeth finding your sensitive skin made your hair stand on end and you whimpered. 

“Like it?” he whispered. “S’it good?”

You nodded, and pulled off him with a wet gasp before licking a stripe along the underside of his cock, from base to tip and back again. 

“That’s good,” he said. “Get all over, s’ok… shit.” His throat bobbed and he unclasped his fingers to grip the bedsheets. “Get all over me, get everywhere, it’s ok, it’s f-fine--” He made an almost pained noise and lifted his hand, and brushed it over the back of your head before dropping it to the bed as he squirmed. “Get my balls,” he mumbled, head rolling against the headboard. “Oh, fuck, please….” 

His breath stuttered and he gulped, eyes opening wide and unfocused on the ceiling. Cock wet from your tongue, you pumped your hand up and down while sucking one ball and then the other into your mouth, ears prickling from the soft, pathetic noises he was making. “Holy shit, s’incredible!” he gasped. “Shit, I’m….” Harry trailed off, choking on his words, and his hand came to rest on the back of your head when you wrapped your mouth around the tip of his cock again. You suckled, with alternating pressure, and bobbed up and down, eyes closed and head swimming from his guttural grunts. 

“M’gonna cum,” he said, his mumble punctuated with a wordless shout when you twisted your hand around his wet cock and squeezed. He throbbed against your palm and you heard him take a sharp breath as his fingers tightened on the back of your head, but without pressure to push you down. “Don’t stop,” he breathed, heaving by then. “Don’t stop, m’gonna cum so… gonna cum so hard, I’m--”

You whimpered around him and your other hand pressed against his stomach. He clapped his free hand over it and held it there, wheezing, and you opened your eyes briefly, catching a glimpse of his face contorted in the most erotic agony -- cheeks and chest pink and sweaty, hair mussed, teeth bared with his shout, and the vein in his neck popping -- before you tasted the first salty, tangy string. You stilled, tightening your lips, absorbing every groan as his thighs tensed and released under you in his effort to not squirm and buck you off. He let go of your head to clutch your hand against his stomach with both of his, and your palm slipped against his slick skin. With some effort, you gulped, mouth still holding him, before you relaxed and pulled off him. You ran your tongue over his head and released him with a soft pop before sitting up slightly, neck and jaw both aching and throat just a little inexplicably sore. 

He, beyond a shadow of a doubt, looked spent. His eyes were closed and there was a slump to his shoulders, and his chest rose quickly with each shallow breath he took, and he still hadn’t let go of your hand. “Think….” He cleared his throat and swallowed hard. “Think y’really did summat to me,” he rasped. When he looked at you at last, he was dazed, and a dumbfounded smile pulled at the corners of his mouth before his eyes slid shut again. “Fuck,” he sighed. 

“Are you going to nap now?” you asked, voice thick and husky. He laughed. 

“Don’t,” he said. You crawled up his body, unsteady knees guiding you on either side of him. “Don’t tease me, m’only… I’m trying my best, aren’t I?” 

You grinned, and you’d just gotten to perch on his thighs when a knock at the door startled you both. Your head whipped around just after his eyes flew open and he gripped your hand tighter. 

“That’ll be the kit,” he said, breathing heavily. 

“Oh.” You’d almost forgotten he’d called down for it. “Right. I can….” You pulled your hand free from his. “I can get it.” 

“If you--”

“I can,” you repeated, nearly toppling over as you swung your leg off him. “Stay.” You flung the sheet haphazardly over his waist and he chuckled as you stood and pulled your robe on, glancing at the clock on the bedside table as you did. 

11:37am.

[babybluebex]

of pubs and profs [tom holland smut]

➽ pairing: prof!tom holland x fem!reader (y/n) ➽ word count: 4.7k ➽ summary: you have what you consider the best night of your life, but discover that it was with the worst person possible. ➽ warnings: NSFW/MDNI. smut, explicit language, fingering/oral (f recieving), unprotected sex (i am begging yall to wear a condom irl) ➽ a/n: alright so... don’t fool around with your teacher pls. live vicariously thru y/n :) 

He seemed so out of place here. For one thing, a bar like this was hardly known for much good happening, and this man exuded good. He seemed fit, even as he sat at the bar, his face sharp, full of angles that would have been glorious to sketch, and he had caramel-amber hair that curled around his ears and the nape of his neck. He wore a dark blue turtleneck and slacks, a watch with a leather band around his left wrist. 

“You’re staring.” 

I jumped. I had forgotten that I was mid-conversation. “Huh?”

Zendaya scoffed. “You’re staring at that guy,” she said. “Like, staring super hard. Do you know him?” 

“No,” I mumbled. “He’s just…” I trailed off for a moment, then attempted to save face by taking a sip of my drink. “I like the look of him. Ya know?” 

Zendaya scoffed at me. “I like the look of him too, but you’re on something else here.” There was a pause between the two of us, and Zen’s mouth split into a smile. “Five bucks.” 

“For what?” I asked. 

“You can’t get his number,” Zen said. “I’ll give you five whole dollars if you get his phone number.”

“You don’t have five dollars,” I said playfully, with narrowed eyes. “You don’t even have two coins to rub together.”

“Right, and who bought your drink?” Zen asked. “C’mon, you need to put yourself out there. Ever since you and Jacob broke up, it’s been nothing but… Sad. Your room’s a cave, Y/N. Will you do this for me?” 

I cast a glance at the guy once more, and I sighed. “Why not?” I mumbled under my breath. “But I had better get that fucking money, or I’ll take away your apartment privileges.” 

“I pay half of the rent, fuck you,” Zen laughed. “Go. Go!” 

“I am!” I giggled, and I slid myself out of the booth. The pub was bustling with nightly business, and I edged my way past a group of girls to find a place at the bar. My plan of attack was to order a drink and strike up a conversation with this guy, and grab his phone number before I left. Lucky for me, there was an empty space next to him, and I leaned against the bar with my forearms. 

“Oh, hey, good lookin’!” the bartender, Jake, exclaimed. He was a close friend of mine, hence why I always chose to drink at this particular bar. Our freshman year, he lived in the room across the hall from me, and we frequented each other for screwdrivers (of both varieties) all year. Since then, we continued to grow close. “What’s cooking?”

“Not a lot, Gyllenhaal,” I replied, and our hands met in a quick dap. “Lemme get a rum and Coke.”

“Sure thing,” Jake said. “Gimme two minutes. We’ve got a bachelorette party in the back.” 

“No problem,” I replied, and I watched Jake slide to the other side of the bar. 

The game was now on. I looked over my shoulder to Zendaya briefly, just for long enough to gauge that she was laughing at me, and I cast her a look before turning back. Then, I looked back over my other shoulder, the one closest to the guy, and I caught sight of a book he had. “What’re you reading there?” 

He looked up at me with big brown eyes, and my breath caught in my chest. From far away, he was hot but, up close, he was totally something else. He had strands of ginger in his dark hair, and his fingers closed the book in order to look at the cover, like he himself wasn’t sure of what he was reading. “Chaos Walking,” he answered, and my eyes widened. His voice was gorgeous, pitched low, accented with a London attitude. “My mate told me I’d like it.”

“Don’t think I’ve read that,” I said, narrowing my eyes. “What’s it about?” 

“Well,” he began and laughed lightly. “A lot. Basically, though, it follows a boy who lives in a world with no girls, where you can hear others thoughts, and he meets a girl. It’s sci-fi and… I dunno.” 

“Is it a good read?” I asked. “You seem like you enjoy it.” The book was battered, the paper cover torn and creased, with the spine broken. It was a book that was well-loved, and I liked how his entire being seemed to reflect the book. 

“Oh, I love it,” he said with a smile. “It’s so fun, ya know? The entirety of the story is incredible.” Then, a beat passed, and he added, “I’m Tom.” 

“Well, hi,” I said and gave him a warm smile. “I’m Y/N. No offense, but this sorta place doesn’t seem like your vibe.” 

Tom gave the front of the book a firm pat. “It’s not,” he said. “I was waiting on a friend but he doesn’t seem like he’ll be joining me tonight.”

“I didn’t think so,” I said, wrinkling my nose. “You seem like a coffee shop kinda guy.”

“You don’t quite seem like the sort to be here either,” Tom told me. 

“How do you mean?”

“You don’t belong in a pub like this, I just know it,” Tom told me. “You’d be better suited somewhere else.” 

I shrugged. “I usually don’t leave my apartment to drink,” I said. “But I’m friends with the bartender and I visit every so often just to say hi.” A moment passed. “Wait, back up. Where would I be better suited?” 

Tom smiled, but it seemed more hesitant than before. “At the risk of being bold,” he started. “My flat.” 

“Jesus!” I breathed, and my face went hot. 

“I’m sorry,” he said quickly. “That was-- I’m so sorry--”

“No, no!” I said quickly. “No, it’s not a problem, I promise. That was bold, Tom, but I don’t mind it. As a matter of fact, I think you might be right.” 

“Glad we agree,” Tom said. “D’you wanna get out of here now?” 

“Sure thing,” I said. My skin prickled at the thought of him against me, and I laid a gentle hand on his arm. “Let me get my bag.” 

When I approached the booth, Zendaya stuck her tongue at me. “You lost,” she said. 

“Did I?” I asked, pulling my bag onto my shoulder. “Or am I going home with him?” 

“Shut up,” Zen laughed. “That was quick as hell.” 

“That tends to happen,” I shrugged. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a meeting with Tom.” 

“I hate you,” I heard Zen mutter as I turned away from her. 

Tom’s apartment--his flat, as he called it--was just a short cab ride from the bar, and I had hardly passed through the front door before his hands were pressing into my waist and his mouth was on mine. In an instant, I had melted into him, and my hands tangled in the bottom of his shirt. His mouth tasted like whiskey, which felt totally in-character for him, and he carefully nipped at my bottom lip. 

“Fuck, you’re gorgeous,” Tom whispered, and he pushed my hair from my neck in order to brush his lips against my throat. No guys in my past had ever told me that in such clear terms, and my entire body ran hot at his words. A shiver ran down my spine, and he huffed a laugh into my neck. “Do you like when I say that?”

“I just like the way you talk,” I admitted. “Could listen forever.” 

“That’s an awfully long time,” Tom told me warmly. His slender fingers inched under my shirt to touch my bare skin, and he slid his hands to lay flat against the small of my back. His kisses lingered on my neck, and the feeling of his soft skin was so lovely. “Let’s start with tonight.” 

“I can manage that,” I laughed. “Bed?” 

As soon as I was down in his bed, Tom was working my shirt off. His hands were so strong and sure against me, and I had no hesitations in letting him do whatever he pleased. His kisses trailed down to my stomach and chest once they were bare to him, and the feel of his mouth on my hip made me take a fistful of those pretty brown waves of his. He just laughed and continued his pursuit downwards, and he rid me of my jeans and panties before pausing and looking up at me. “Is this alright?” He asked. 

“Yeah,” I said. “Just… Yeah.”

“Good girl,” Tom whispered, and I swore I died right there. He took my leg in his strong grip and kissed my inner thigh, and he placed the softest kiss to my quivering cunt. I immediately knew that I was in good hands, and I let my body relax and submit to Tom. His shoulders nudged my legs open further as he pressed his warm tongue to my wetness, and I bit back a moan as I tried to keep my legs from closing. I was already shaking, which was honestly embarrassing, but Tom didn’t seem to mind. In fact, it seemed to encourage him, because he placed a series of sloppy kisses to my throbbing clit that made me squeal. Then, his mouth went straight to where I was leaking, and an obscene slurping filled the air. Fuck, he was good. 

“Oh my God,” I whispered, and his fingers quickly joined his tongue. First one, then two, then his thumb met my clit, and I whimpered. “Oh, fuck, oh my God.” 

“No need to call me that,” Tom whispered. His breath was hot against my wet cunt, his voice raspy, and I couldn’t help the fluttering that enveloped his fingers. “Just my name will do for now.”

The combination of his fingers and mouth made my stomach quiver, and I knew that it wouldn’t be long before I came. I had never come just from being eaten out, and my heart raged against my ribcage when I dared to imagine what came next. His thumb moved slowly around my clit, and his mouth replaced it as his fingers moved in me deliciously. His tongue, so skilled and quick, took up his thumb’s previous job, and he took the throbbing bud into his mouth and quickly nipped it with his teeth at the same moment that his fingertips found home inside me. 

There was no hope of obscuring my moan. “Fuck!” I yelped, writhing in his grip. “T-Tom, fuck.”

“Do you wanna come?” Tom whispered, looking at me through his eyelashes. “Use your words, my darling, please.” 

“Please, please,” I gasped. My head fell back to expose my neck, and I squeezed my eyes shut. My breathing was ragged, and a shock of electricity raced through my whole body when he laughed into my cunt. 

“Such a needy girl,” Tom chuckled. “You don’t have to ask. Whenever you’re ready, just let me know.” 

He lapped at my wet cunt, tasting me like he had dreamt of this, and my hand went from his hair to his shoulder. His waves and curls fell into his eyes, but he kept at his work, even when I pushed at his shoulder. “Tommy,” I whimpered out helplessly. “I-I’m gonna-- You--”

“My darling,” Tom said. “I want you to come on my tongue. Let me taste you, babygirl. Come for me.” 

My bottom lip was bitten nearly raw, and it only became worse when he said that. I nearly tasted blood as he gave my cunt one last kiss, so much more gentle than what he had been doing before, and my hips stuttered as hot pleasure pulsed through every part of me. I grabbed handfuls of his shirt and tugged him close, and he came to lay with his hips between my legs. My vision was blurry with tears as I studied him, oh so close to me now, and I felt a tiny pride at his pink cheeks and glistening lips. That was all me. “Oh, thank you,” I whispered, and he sweetly kissed each of my cheeks. “That was so good.” 

“I’m glad,” Tom said. “Secretly, I pride myself in being able to do that.” 

“You should be proud of that,” I huffed. “Also… ‘my god’?” 

“That was in jest,” Tom began with a light laugh. 

“I know,” I said. My hands trailed up his back, hiking his shirt up to his shoulders, and he helped me in tugging it off. He shook his hair out once it passed his head, and I added, “It’s a fitting name, though.” 

“Really?” He asked, bracing himself above me. “Am I a god, Y/N?”

“Close to it,” I told him. I noticed the way that my hands were trembling as I went to his belt, and he must have noticed as well, because his hands went to my wrists. His hands fit all the way around my wrists easily. It wasn’t rough or dominating by any means; his hands slid up from my wrists to grasp my hands, fingers interlocking with mine as he pressed my hands down beside my head. 

“Take a deep breath, my darling,” Tom told me gently. His thumb made comforting circles on my hand, and my stomach went all fluttery at how serene it was. “You’re shaking so hard. Do we need to stop?” 

“No,” I told him. “I’m alright. I promise.” 

“Alright,” Tom said. “Let me know if we need to stop.” 

I nodded quickly, reaching for a handful of his hair, and I tugged him down to kiss me. I could taste myself on his mouth and, normally, that would have irked me, but with Tom, it only made my thighs tense and warmth spread through my body. My skin rippled at each touch of his fingers, and I let out little mumblings of his name as he kissed my neck and shoulders. 

A surge of boldness ran up my spine, and I moved my hands from where he had placed them back down to his belt. As it seemed was the norm, he was two steps ahead of me, because he was already in the process of leaning back and pulling off his pants. The bedroom was cast only in the soft light of the lamp beside the bed, but I still captured every freckle, hair, and ridge on Tom’s firm chest and stomach. He was the definition of the skinny white guy that had good dick. Or, at least, he gave good head. But someone that good at giving head had to be as skilled elsewhere, right? 

He was back on me in an instant, kissing my neck and making little marks on my skin as I shoved his pants down his thighs. Tom’s hands captured my legs and drew them around his naked waist, and I gasped aloud when I felt his hard cock brush against my cunt, already throbbing once more. In fear of seeming dumb, I didn’t intentionally look, but I could feel the weight of his cock against my body, and I stuttered, “God, Tommy..” 

“That impressive, huh?” Tom laughed.  

“Of course,” I remarked. “What, have you never been told you have a big cock before?”

Tom lifted his head from my neck, and I let out a giggle at his blown-wide pupils and red cheeks. “Where the hell have you been all my life?” He asked with a smile. He laughed, and I noticed the way that wrinkles formed right by his eyes with the extremity of his smile. That was adorable as hell. “You’re gorgeous and so funny, and you’re complimenting me like this? You’re perfect.” 

“I’ve just been waiting for you, I guess,” I shrugged and ran my hands over his built arms, rock solid like a statue. 

“Sorry it took me so long to find you,” Tom smiled. “Traffic was a bitch.” 

I laughed, my head falling back onto the pillows, and Tom situated the head of his cock at my folds. At the feel of it, I gasped, and he swallowed my gasp with a kiss. “Let me know if we need to stop,” he reminded me, kissing my chin gently. 

“I’m fine,” I told him, even though I was shaking so fiercely. Tom sank himself into me, and the deep rumble of his moan made my back arch up against him. “Fuck, darling,” he mumbled. “Cunt’s so tight… Squeezing the hell outta me.” His fingers dug into my hip, surely leaving bruises to later admire, and he snapped his hips forward so that he was fully in me. 

“More,” I whispered. I wasn’t sure what I wanted more of; I just knew that I wanted more of whatever he ended up giving me. 

My whole body thrummed with blood and life as he fucked me, pausing to pant into my neck and kiss my mouth. His back was taut with hard muscles and I raked my fingers down to his waist and back up to his hair. A curl had escaped the rest of his hair and bounced against my forehead with each thrust, and Tom and I each huffed out a laugh at it. Silently, I reached up and twisted the perfect curl around my finger, and Tom gave me another eye-wrinkling smile.

“F-Fuck, darling,” Tom muttered, and I could tell by his stuttering that he was close. The rhythm of his hips had slowed, but his grip on my waist and legs was as tight as ever. “So fuckin good for me, God.” 

“I’m getting close again, Tommy,” I told him, my voice shaking. I’m sure he already knew, what with the way my chest was hot and my breathing was erratic, but I still wanted to see the look on his face when I said it.

“Oh, me too, my darling,” Tom whispered. His hand fell from its place at my hip and came to rest on my stomach, just above the point where he had himself buried inside me, and his thumb-- that damned thumb of his-- slid down until he was playing with my clit once more. There was an urgency this time, though, his movements quicker and messier. With each thrust, his own belly quivered, and I desperately pulled at his hair. I needed him to come first. I needed to feel him spill himself inside of me. I needed to feel his cum leak out of me, to hear him laugh at the mess we made like I knew he would. I needed so much. I just needed him.

“Tommy,” I whimpered, keening into his touch. “Fuck, Tom--”

His lips crashed into mine, and that was all it took. My legs shook around his waist, and my vision went white-hot for a moment. His thrusts were messy, his waves and curls completely undone and hanging in his eyes, and he watched with a greedy gaze as I writhed under him. I pulled his head down into my neck and he resumed his work of nipping my skin and soothing the sting with his tongue, and I kissed the shell of his ear. “Oh, Tom,” I whispered, just loud enough for him to hear over the sounds of our shared gasps. “Please, for me?” 

He pulled himself from me and was spilling in an instant, covering my waist and stomach in his warm cum. He settled himself on his elbows above me once again, and I took care to brush those waves off of his forehead. His hair had gone super curly with the little bit of sweat on his forehead, and I bit the tip of my tongue. “Yeah?” I whispered. 

“Yeah,” Tom agreed. “Let me get you a towel. Stay right there.”

“Wasn’t really planning on going anywhere, honestly,” I laughed. 

When he returned, he was wearing a pair of boxers and a t-shirt that hugged his muscled frame. He sat beside me and carefully wiped me clean with the wet corner of a towel, and he placed a sweet kiss on my forehead. “Are you feeling alright?” Tom asked. “Can I get you anything?” 

“I’m fine,” I told him. “Thanks, though.”

“No worries,” Tom told me. “You’re welcome to stay the night, if you’d like. I must warn you, though, that I like to cuddle.” 

“I would have expected nothing less,” I told him. I sat up, testing my legs for a moment, and my cheeks went hot. “Umm… I don’t think I can walk.” 

Tom’s eyes went big for a moment, and he reached for me with a hesitant hand. “Are you kidding?” He asked. 

“My legs are shaking too hard,” I whispered and bit my lip. 

“Oh, my darling, I’m so sorry,” Tom told me, his eyebrows pitching up. “I truly didn’t mean to hurt you--”

“You didn’t,” I said quickly. “It’s… This is a good thing. I promise.” 

There was a brief exchange that ended with Tom giving me a shirt to sleep in and me promising him that I won’t try to walk until my legs quit shaking. We found each other again once in bed, my head fitting snugly under his chin, and his fingernails lightly scratched up and down my back. The feel of his strong arms around me, holding me in such a protective way, lulled me to sleep. 

The night passed under a thin veil of dreams. All too soon, an alarm began to blare, scaring me fully awake in a second. From the darkness, there was a groan of displeasure, and a grunt as the bed squeaked and shifted, and the alarm was turned off with a solid stab of a finger. “Sorry, darling,” Tom whispered. “I forgot I have an early morning today.” 

“You’re fine,” I whispered. The lamp turned on, and I was met with Tom, his hair messy and frizzy, his face flushed with good sleep. I stretched my arms above my head, allowing a quick squeal, and I said, “I should probably be heading out soon too. I have an eight AM.”

“Ugh,” Tom groaned. “I hate those.” 

“Right,” I agreed. “Who wants to learn at eight in the morning?”

“The poor instructor,” Tom laughed. His voice was lower than before, scratchy as well, and my chest warmed at the sound. He fixed his hair out of his face, and he turned to see me, still wrapped up in his shirt and blankets. “You look cozy.” 

“I am,” I said softly. “Wish I could stay for just a little longer.” 

“Pursuit of knowledge is an honorable one, though, darling,” Tom told me. “Would you like to shower first?” 

“No,” I said. “I have to go by my apartment to get my stuff and change clothes anyway, I’ll just shower there.” 

“Alright,” Tom nodded. He reached for me and I met him halfway, brushing my lips to his in a soft kiss, and he gave me a light laugh. “I need to get your phone number. I’d love to do this again.” 

“I’d like that too,” I said. I gave him a parting kiss, then worked myself from the bed. I stretched once more, feeling my back pop, and I found my bag by the door to the bedroom. I gave Tom my phone, open to a new contact listing, and he gave a mischievous smile before plugging in his information. “What’s that smile all about?” 

At the top of my screen, it read Big Dick Tom. 

“Oh, God,” I laughed. “That’s really gone to your head, hasn’t it?” 

“You’re the one who told me that,” Tom argued. “And, if someone tells you that you have a big dick, you take that shit to heart.” 

“Sure, sure,” I said quickly. “I’ll text you; maybe we can get dinner this weekend?”

Tom gave me a smile that was fit for a king. “Of course, my darling girl.” 

Tom ended up sending me home with the shirt I had slept in. It was for some carpentry school in Wales, but it was soft and smelled like Tom, so I didn’t really mind the odd reference. Just before I left, he had swept me up in his arms and kissed me, and he pressed his forehead to mine. “This might be premature,” he whispered. “But do you wanna be my girlfriend?” 

Zendaya slapped a five dollar bill in my hand when I entered the apartment. “Did you have a good time?” she asked.

“The best,” I told her. “He’s super sweet and a great time, and he asked me to be his girlfriend.”

“You said yes, right?” Zen asked.

“Duh,” I scoffed. “A hot Brit who likes me? I’m not letting that go.”

“Right,” Zen said, and the smile dropped from her face. “Well, while you were off getting dick from your new man, our literature professor dipped.” 

“What?” I asked. 

“Yeah,” Zen said, spinning her laptop to face me. She had an email pulled up from the head of the department, declaring that our professor, our beloved Dr. Osterfield, would not be teaching the course any longer. Buried in the text of the email, it said the name of the replacement professor: Dr. Holland. “I tried to look this guy up, but he’s not on Rate My Professor or anything.” 

“It’s halfway through the fuckin’ semester,” I groaned. “This blows.” 

“I just hope this new guy’s easy,” Zen groaned. “I can’t deal with a hard class right now.” 

The class was still held in the same room as before, and the general air was worse than a normal eight AM. At least, with Dr. O, he had an infectious energy that woke us all up. Nobody knew what to expect with this new guy. I hoped that, for my sake, he was cool. 

The door to the classroom opened, and a man said, “I apologize for the wait. It’s just my luck that I’d be late today…” 

My whole body went cold and my heart stopped. Tom. My boyfriend, my fucking Tom stood at the front of the small lecture hall, wearing the jeans and white buttoned shirt that I had helped pick out. “Well, this is a strange thing, isn’t it?” Tom chuckled, clasping his hands together. “I’ll explain, don’t worry. But first, I think maybe an introduction is in order.” 

He unwound his bag from his shoulder and opened it for a moment, and a whole new wave of dread washed over me. While he was in the shower, I had written him a quick note and stuck it in his bag. It was nothing more than “thanks, love. hope to see you soon xx”, but a smile split his face wide. “Sorry,” he mumbled. “Apparently, my girlfriend left me a little note. Hmm! Anyway, I’m Dr. Holland. Call me that, or Tom, or any variation of the above. I promise you, I’ve heard it all.” 

Tom settled himself on the edge of his desk and he fluffed up his hair a bit. It was then that a quiet wave of titters passed through every girl in the hall; a hickey. It was small, but it was there, right under his ear. “I went to school in London, where I’m from, before I got a degree in English literature from Cambridge. Then, I came to the States and managed to get my doctorate in it, and, who’d have guessed it, this is my first teaching job. Go easy on me, huh?.” My little note, written on a sticky note, was clasped in his hand, and I seriously wanted to die right then and there. My professor. I was stupid. Of course the stars had aligned (or misaligned?) to allow this to happen. And just when I thought I found the right guy, too. 

“Right,” Tom said. “Let’s look at the attendance, see what we’re working with, and I’ll let you guys fill me in on what Dr. Osterfield was covering.” 

The closer he got to my name, the colder my face went. I hated every single moment of it. “And… Y/L/N? Y/N?” 

I quietly raised my hand, then managed a meek, “Here.” 

His eyes trained on me, and I watched the same recognition flood his eyes. Quickly, though, Dr. Tom Holland averted his gaze back down to his computer, and he said, “There you are, Y/N… Can I see you after class?”