#there's nothing i can do fast enough....
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The danger is clear and present: COVID isnāt merely a respiratory illness; itās a multi-dimensional threat impacting brain function, attacking almost all of the bodyās organs, producing elevated risks of all kinds, and weakening our ability to fight off other diseases. Reinfections are thought to produce cumulative risks, and Long COVID is on the rise. Unfortunately, Long COVID is now being considered a long-term chronic illness ā something many people will never fully recover from. Dr. Phillip Alvelda, a former program manager in DARPAās Biological Technologies Office that pioneered the synthetic biology industry and the development of mRNA vaccine technology, is the founder of Medio Labs, a COVID diagnostic testing company. He has stepped forward as a strong critic of government COVID management, accusing health agencies of inadequacy and even deception. Alvelda is pushing for accountability and immediate action to tackle Long COVID and fend off future pandemics with stronger public health strategies. Contrary to public belief, he warns, COVID is not like the flu. New variants evolve much faster, making annual shots inadequate. He believes that if things continue as they are, with new COVID variants emerging and reinfections happening rapidly, the majority of Americans may eventually grapple with some form of Long COVID. Letās repeat that: At the current rate of infection, most Americans may get Long COVID.
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LP: A recent JAMA study found that US adults with Long COVID are more prone to depression and anxiety ā and theyāre struggling to afford treatment. Given the virusās impact on the brain, I guess the link to mental health issues isnāt surprising. PA: There are all kinds of weird things going on that could be related to COVIDās cognitive effects. Iāll give you an example. Weāve noticed since the start of the pandemic that accidents are increasing. A report published by TRIP, a transportation research nonprofit, found that traffic fatalities in California increased by 22% from 2019 to 2022. They also found the likelihood of being killed in a traffic crash increased by 28% over that period. Other data, like studies from the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, came to similar conclusions, reporting that traffic fatalities hit a 16-year high across the country in 2021. The TRIP report also looked at traffic fatalities on a national level and found that traffic fatalities increased by 19%. LP: What role might COVID play? PA: Research points to the various ways COVID attacks the brain. Some people who have been infected have suffered motor control damage, and that could be a factor in car crashes. News is beginning to emerge about other ways COVID impacts driving. For example, in Ireland, a driverās COVID-related brain fog was linked to a crash that killed an elderly couple. Damage from COVID could be affecting people who are flying our planes, too. Weāve had pilots that had to quit because they couldnāt control the airplanes anymore. We know that medical events among U.S. military pilots were shown to have risen over 1,700% from 2019 to 2022, which the Pentagon attributes to the virus.
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LP: Youāve criticized the track record of the CDC and the WHO ā particularly their stubborn denial that COVID is airborne. PA: They knew the dangers of airborne transmission but refused to admit it for too long. They were warned repeatedly by scientists who studied aerosols. They instituted protections for themselves and for their kids against airborne transmission, but they didnāt tell the rest of us to do that.
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LP: How would you grade Biden on how heās handled the pandemic? PA: Iād give him an F. In some ways, he fails worse than Trump because more people have actually died from COVID on his watch than on Trumpās, though blame has to be shared with Republican governors and legislators who picked ideological fights opposing things like responsible masking, testing, vaccination, and ventilation improvements for partisan reasons. Bidenās administration has continued to promote the false idea that the vaccine is all that is needed, perpetuating the notion that the pandemic is over and you donāt need to do anything about it. Biden stopped the funding for surveillance and he stopped the funding for renewing vaccine advancement research. Trump allowed 400,000 people to die unnecessarily. The Biden administration policies have allowed more than 800,000 to 900,000 and counting.
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LP: The situation with bird flu is certainly getting more concerning with the CDC confirming that a third person in the U.S. has tested positive after being exposed to infected cows. PA: Unfortunately, weāre repeating many of the same mistakes because we now know that the bird flu has made the jump to several species. The most important one now, of course, is the dairy cows. The dairy farmers have been refusing to let the government come in and inspect and test the cows. A team from Ohio State tested milk from a supermarket and found that 50% of the milk they tested was positive for bird flu viral particles.
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PA: Thereās a serious risk now in allowing the virus to freely evolve within the cow population. Each cow acts as a breeding ground for countless genetic mutations, potentially leading to strains capable of jumping to other species. If any of those countless genetic experiments within each cow prove successful in developing a strain transmissible to humans, we could face another pandemic ā only this one could have a 58% death rate. Did you see the movie āContagion?ā It was remarkably accurate in its apocalyptic nature. And that virus only had a 20% death rate. If the bird flu makes the jump to human-to-human transition with even half of its current lethality, that would be disastrous.
#sars cov 2#covid 19#h5n1#bird flu#articles#long covid is def a global issue not just for those in the us and most countries aren't doing much better#regardless of how much lower the mortality rate for h5n1 may or may not become if/when it becomes transmissible between humans#having bird flu infect a population the majority of whose immune system has been decimated by sars2#to the point where the average person seems to have a hard time fighting off the common cold etc...#(see the stats of whooping cough/pertussis and how they're off the CHARTS this yr in the uk and aus compared to previous yrs?#in qld average no of cases was 242 over prev 4 yrs - there have been /3783/ diagnosed as of june 9 this yr and that's just in one state.#there's a severe shortage of meds for kids in aus bc of the demand and some parents visit +10 pharmacies w/o any luck)#well.#let's just say that i miss the days when ph orgs etc adhered to the precautionary principle and were criticised for 'overreacting'#bc nothing overly terrible happened in the end (often thanks to their so-called 'overreaction')#now to simply acknowledge the reality of an obviously worsening situation is to be accused of 'fearmongering'#š¤·āāļø#also putting long covid and bird flu aside for a sec:#one of the wildest things that everyone seems to overlook that conor browne and others on twt have been saying for yrs#is that the effects of the covid pandemic extend far beyond the direct impacts of being infected by the virus itself#we know sars2 rips apart immune system+attacks organs. that in effect makes one more susceptible to other viruses/bacterial infections etc#that in turn creates increased demand for healthcare services for all kinds of carers and medications#modern medicine and technology allows us to provide often effective and necessary treatment for all kinds of ailments#but what if there's not enough to go around? what happens when the demand is so high that it can't be provided fast enough -- or at all?#(that's assuming you can even afford it)#what happens when doctors and nurses and other healthcare workers keep quitting due to burnout from increased patients and/or illness#because they themselves do not live in a separate reality and are not any more sheltered from the effects of constant infection/reinfection#of sars2 and increased susceptibility to other illnesses/diseases than the rest of the world?#this is the 'new normal' that's being cultivated (the effects of which are already blatantly obvious if you're paying attention)#and importantly: it. doesn't. have. to. be. this. way.
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I'm pretty suprise with 4.7 database, hoyo decided to sailing Sethos x Wanderer (additionaly HaiKaveh become more closer) and how heartwarming Sigewinne character story could be...
#genshin impact#clorinde#sethos#sigewinne#nothing unusual from clorinde so I can't say anything#while sethos morelike another pieces hoyo put for sumeru members#there's one info interesting enough to mention aside he's blend very well on sumeru members (lol)#in sethos character story there's line saying hat guy doing errands for example delivering a letter#now the question parts : whom nahida sent letter to that needs to be secret and fast ?#except his own people like alhaitam or cyno I only think one group#yes other archons#for what reasons ? i think it's same question as ei yae music event last scene convo#if in next one or two small event happens to be at liyue or mondstad means we need to read closely (lol)#for sigewinne side I very interest in her story quest#i expect things like neuvi story quest#but to my suprise nothing angst happened at sigewinne character story ?#overall it's so heartwarming#and additionaly just how airhead wrio can be (lol)#even from your childhood time he basically said āI hold you dearā sir#now it escalate into āI will do anything for youā#and about things with sethos line on haikaveh really funny#with how I perceive sethos normally it should be he tells us about kaveh being friends of tighnari cyno and he meets him at forest or alike#BUT sethos decided it's more memorable for them came as one and talks mundane things (lol)#it's like JUST HOW MANY TIMES he saw them together !?#it's so funny like wow what they become now from years ago (lol)
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i think growing up is just life repeatedly sucker punching you and saying bitch you thought things were gonna better lmao no you're so naive and stupid for having hope in 20 years the world will be flaming bag of garbage and no matter how hard you work you'll get eliminated at some point
#and then you just have to get up and keep living anyway because what else is there to do?#but man my heart keeps feeling heavier with every blow#2024 has literally been the worst year ever god personally too#like everytime i think it can't possibly get worse than this it does#i remember literally 9th jan i had such a horrible breakdown in an auto because the first friend i ever made#after school was leaving my work and therefore my life#9 days into the year. seriously. and i was so happy on 8th because it was my birthday#i don't know im trying hard to think okay this doesn't even affect me it's fine im privileged enough that even my own countrys politics#barely affects me#but just. india is already so behind in everything. if developed nations are doing shit like this then well#it will never get better right like who do we even strive to be#i want to get more into indian politics but my god. it's so horrifying and depressing all the time#like i remember resolving to follow politics closely few years ago and the first news#i read was about some minister talking about how girls skirts lengths IN SCHOOL is the reason boys do sa and boys will be boys etc etc#i know i could just follow business news stuff like that god knows it'll help in my field but it just. doesn't resonate with me doesn't#make me feel anything at all. like i so desperately want to care about ooh stock markets and how to grow your money etc etc#but when i think about being rich enough to invest idle money all i can think is sitting in my own home peacefully#drinking a glass of cold coffee and just being able to breathe freely because me and my sister used to joke in childhood#when dad went thru a coffee v bad for health phase and he wouldn't let us drink it so we would drink it very sneakily#at night when he was asleep or went out for an hour and make absolutely no noise while mixing the sugar. we said that we know#we'll* know we have achieved true freedom and happiness in life when we can peacefully drink cold coffee in the hall and not secretly#in the dead of night in our room#i don't even know what im talking about and my period is late again and nothing is working and my lazer focus#that i had built in the past few weeks is gone because suddenly im like what is the point????#i just don't understand how the fuck humans can fight over stupid fucking things like who is kissing who and who is doing what with their#body instead of focusing on collective issues like our planet is dying so fucking fast and every summer is getting impossibler to survive#i hate that the united states control the UN fuck this world fr man i hate being born in such horrible helpless times#like call me a kid or dumb or whatever but i cannot understand how MILLIONS of people do not#have sympathy for ppl around them and who don't care about the planet at all like how????? how did you grow up????#not trying to boast but this is so natural to me!!! didn't you make save water save earth posters in school!!! didn't anyone
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anyways before i sleep i counted some numbers so here ko-fi has a travel goal now woo
basically this counts for the rest of my travel expenses (trains from home to the airport and back and travel in london), food, the most important activities outside the shows already paid for, and then theres a bit of an extra buffer on top to even it out and to make it as comfortable as possible
anything is appreciated, if youve ever enjoyed my work please consider at least sharing this, or buying a commission as i have the smallest ones open rn (at the time of opening this, to fully cover this with the commissions i would need to sell 135 of those. just putting it out there how cheap they are lol)
this is just the one fun thing im gonna have this year im fairly certain, and since the biggest payments are already made (plane tickets, hotel and both shows im going to are paid for) and im for sure making this trip anyways, this is just to ensure a safe rest of the travel and that i dont have to overly stress about funds and stuff while im out there
that is all. thank you š
#just editing this i dont wanna make a new post mmm#but yeah. just. trying to get this out there#i know 117 comms sounds like a lot but also i can bang these out pretty fast if needed and i have nothing but time so like. im gonna do it#if i have to. im not comfortable enough to open the rest and i dont have printer ink to get stickers done (plus i dont really like them...)#anyways. heres a thing. i need coffee my head hurts#night is an absolute mess on main
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made a tierlist of my kuwagami fics for funsies (+ notes for a few) ā
(everything listed in the same tier are equals, so the order they're listed in has no meaning)
#jitxt#fic extras#for those of you who also frequent the kuwagami ao3 tag ā¤#crazy that i have enough fics posted to be able to even do this lmao#i probably could write notes for each of these but i wanted to keep it short and sfw. too much text makes the tierlist harder to parse#judging from the tiers here you can see i think pretty positively of my (posted) work which is probably for the best!#eating my own kuwagami food or whatever š#ājichan what's that fic with the big long title in A tierā nothing don't worry about it#OKAY okay joking aside that one is in the drafts but it already has a name#and also i like teasing. and also it's a funny name lol#i said that as a joke while writing the 7k long fic from last sunday six#and fourwhitetrees told me that i better make that the title. and listen. how could i say no to that?#tentative A tier since new fic = excited for it. maybe it's actually B tier quality but for now it's there#hopefully i post it soon#everybody say thank you to fourwhitetrees for giving me feedback so fast so i can (hopefully) also post it fast#i don't always ask for feedback but for this one specifically i wanted it#anyways! a peek into my mind for you all...#if anybody actually has a favourite of my fics i would love to hear it... or if anybody has an ask or anything... šš#no pressure though i just like talking about kuwagami and my work#my assumption is that most people have no deep thoughts about it anyways
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comparing and contrasting them inside of my mind
#ieytd#i expect you to die#commander solaris#the fabricator#roxana prism#headcanons#not tagging this as art bc. its not enough for me to want to. anyways#i think abt this a lot its all very interesting. they all have a lot of talent but it's all in different directions#solaris is very problem solving in a literal sense. mechanical objective -> i'll build a machine that does that thing and nothing else#fabby usually makes more covert stuff so there's a lot more things that she needs to consider. size. shape. covertness. weight. etc#in ADDITION to lethality. which she excels at.#and prism tries so hard to tackle as many improvements as possible. and while she makes incredible things the robots weren't very. uh.#effective. at being super spy robots.#every weakness that was fixed just created a new one. and she works so fast she can't really think about the issues she's making#idk it's just all so fascinating to me#i can get pretentious all i want but i'll confess that i DID make this chart bc the fucking 'solaris can figure this part out' takes me OUT#it tears me up so bad. girl. that was YOUR idea. YOU do it
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Saw a poll asking which fast food I'd give up for a week for a million dollars, and it's like I'd give up fucking food for a week for that price, there's literally nothing that wouldn't be on the chopping block when it's giving it up for a week
Not to mention I already barely have fast food once a month, and that's only if you count the costco pizza or burgers from the general store (which are more like backyard bbq style... like... the not great but not bad kind from a grill, you know?)
So... money please, I already won, pay me
#like I'm not even kidding about if I got it signed in a contract that I'd get paid; that I'd give up eating for a week for that much#pretty sure while it wouldn't be good for me I'd make it; and... that would only be like 7 less meals that week for an average week#I wouldn't be happy; I don't like being hungry (which is pretty much my forever state; I'm hungry as hell right now)#I know enough to know it would probably take a toll on me given the way I'll prowl the house over and over looking in vain for food#like it would be bad#but there's not a lot I wouldn't do for that kinda money; I'm not gonna pretend that a million isn't a price I can be bought at#basically no hurting anyone; nothing that would do permanent damage... really really gross stuff would cost more#but I don't pretend to have too much pride for this#if you're a sick freak with too much money hit me up and we can probably make a deal#anyway my real point in this post was just the fact that like... give up fast food for a week?#for that price I'd give it up for life; I lose at most costco pizza and perhaps food from the general store; though it isn't fast food#I don't like fast food much; it's already too pricey; you're paying me to do what I already want to do#and with that money I could hire someone to come to my house and teach me to cook#I could pay someone in town to get my groceries... it's a not brainer#hell; for like... mhh... ten million I'd never eat at a restaurant again; though there I'd like to negotiate exceptions to try stuff#like... make the deal that I can't go places regularly; and I can't loop hole this to just always be traveling#but that like if I travel to Japan or something I can try the restaurants there#...twenty five million and I never eat at any restaurant anywhere ever (I'd pay people to have me over for dinner)#one hundred million I never eat anyone's cooking again (I'd go to Japan for instance and pay someone to teach me to cook)#(have them eat with me to make sure I made it right; so I could experience it but no one else made it)#these are my prices#but for real; I never ever ever even go to restaurants; there's exactly one kinda high end pizza place I'd miss with that deal#and again... I'd just go in and pay someone to come help me figure out how to make it at home
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More like rad-b-gone lol
#I love that you can see me back off to dodge his grab before Iām like oh wait I can just bonk him lol#thank you radagon for being the only boss I could see myself doing hitless#except my dodge rate for his stomp/poke combo is like 5%#so itās only feasible if he doesnāt do that moveā¦#oh and the ānothing personnel kidā teleport and fast smash can also suck it#him the crucible knights and the bell bearing hunter are the only enemies Iāve learned to consistently parry in ER š®āšØ#I tried learning maleniaās parries but her damage is so overtuned it str8 up was not worth the risk and effort š„“#radagon definitely isnāt the most fun boss in Elden ring but I think heās like the most fair out of every single one#which is why itās gr8 that all my goodwill gets toss out the window with Elden beast š„“#I had one moment where he did Elden stars chase attack the triple closing rings and then sword swipes#and got absolutely annihilated bc I could not dodge all 3 attacks at once#like attack RNG has always been part of the difficulty in these games but with my limited knowledge this is the first one where#(( outside of gank fights ))#the RNG difficulty slider goes from manageable all the way to full health to death#had one round with malenia where she used waterfowl blade SIX TIMES and I only managed to survive bc I was playing around with a mage build#and was letting bby tiche do most of the damage while I pulled aggro from far away enough that I could dodge WFB comfortably#can you tell Iāve only ever done double godskins with both NPC summons and tears#Iāve heard enough about that fights bullshit that I straight up trivialize it every time I get it to it#Elden ring truly is the most difficult and easiest fromsoft game to dateā¦ dialectic š„³#excited to see how they balance things in the DLC bc honestly outside of WFB malenia really is a fun boss#I donāt mind that her normal attacks are so punishing bc dodging around them or knocking her out of certain attacks feels gr8#so if bosses are malenia level TUNED without WFB level BULLSHIT I can see myself getting really into it š„³#tsuchi plays games
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genuinely not kidding when I say that Tears of the Kingdom is not only a bad Zelda game, it's just a bad game in general. it's inaccessible to casual gamers who previously could play Zelda games because of their structure. there is virtually no plot, & what little plot there is sucks ass, is predictable in a bad way, & doesn't make any fucking sense, with the absolute lack of emotional reactions from the characters making it all the worse. the references are only there to distract from the absolute nothingness, despite a main timeline Zelda title being the perfect game to have them as a type of storytelling (what happened to Skyloft??). the sky islands are just rocks with nothing on them except fruit, or maybe a chest if you're lucky. the underground is a walking in the dark simulator. the overworld is the exact same shit as in Breath of the Wild & I already explored that twice so why do it again. the caves are pointless. they didn't add much to the game besides that (the shrines & towers are just reskinned, do not fool yourself) & what they did add is just more sidequests to fill the gaps between the bits of non-existent plot. the dungeons suck. the boss battles are okay which is just sad for a Zelda game. it's just a $90 DLC & if that doesn't explain why I'm so mad about this idk what the fuck will. maybe the fact that this "new formula" is a severe step down from the old one, where you had an actual full fucking puzzle game to play with an actual fucking characters & a story that wasn't just more MCU "cameo! reference!!" bullshit
#sorry to people who enjoyed the game. raise your standards#i feel like the people who think this is a good game either are new to zelda or can't look at things objectively#or are in a fuckton of denial cuz my guy..... this game?? this game???? please tell me you're joking.....................#i cannot begin to describe how fast i got bored with totk#at least botw had the benefit of being new. totk is just botw slightly to the left. & shittier if i'm being honest#it's literally just botw reskinned. except it got rid of guardians so it doesn't even have a cool scary enemy#''but the hands!'' i got over that pretty fast tbh. guardians haunt me to this day. the hands are an old zelda enemy#so i count those as just another reference because that's all anything is in this game#they spent waaaayy too much time on that stupid ultrahand & not enough time on the actual fucking game#& btw this isn't like. new. nintendo games have been getting shittier in all the same ways#like. you can track it. they're not doing a new formula. they're not trying out a new interesting way of doing things#they're becoming lazy & cheap. instead of setting up a storyline they just throw you into a big open world#that takes like 2 irl hours to cross & hope you don't notice the time not being spent being told a story#in botw a lot of stories were told via environmental storytelling. you go by Lon Lon Ranch & Know what happened#you visit an abandoned & destroyed town & you Know what happened#totk doesn't have environmental storytelling so that big open world is useless#there's nothing to tell. so the overworld is changed superficially to make it slightly different but that's it#there's no environmental storytelling in the sky or the underground where it'd be best used#they just Tell you things & there are no hints at anything they don't tell you#uuuuuggggghhhhhh this stupid game frustrates me so fucking much & i hate how no one seems to have a brain about it
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Do current Marvel Writers hate Professor Xavier or something?
#the past yearsā comicsā writing makes no sense for his character#not to say he isnāt manipulative or a chessmaster in planning#but it seems very clear to me that the writers are doing everything they can to make the founding leader and father figure of the X-Men#as comically irredeemable and unlikeable as possible#in comparison to their obvious favorites#professor charles xavier#is no saint#but his main motivation had always been for mutants and humans to live together in harmony#so it makes no sense for him to be so obsessive towards Krakoa#to the point of sacrificing his own people and dooming humanity#if you want the original team to grow past depending on their leader you can do that without destroying their relationships#and the whole āyou either die a hero or live long enough to become a villainā schtick for charles is not a good look for Marvel#but this is just my opinion#an unpopular one but mine all the same#in my previous blog#Iāve said before that the only good thing to come out of the Krakoa arc#were the outfits#but now i feel like nothing about Krakoa was worth exploring as an arc#again#just my opinion#if the ā97 X-Men series keeps fast forwarding through different arcs#i wonder if they will make the Krakoa arc easier to stomach if they include it at all#x men#xmen#marvel comics#marvel
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kinda disappointed with how this weekend went. I mean, it wasn't bad! but it was our first weekend in the new apartment, and I/we wanted to get a lot done. I already did a lot during the week (a lot for me, not a lot for most people I guess), but there's lots of things that I can't do/can't do on my own, either because I'm too short or not strong enough or I need someone else to hold something or whatever. which realistically just won't get done during the week because my husband works full time, so. it sort of sucks that only one very small, unimportant thing got done. š
#like. there's no rush. not really.#I mean we do get our kitchen in two weeks so we'll have to have space to install it then lol#but other than that it's fine#except everyone constantly makes me feel like it isn't.#they're so judgmental and shitty about it#yeah it's chaotic and messy as hell. there's boxes everywhere. we've only found some of our kitchen stuff so we're mostly eating microwave#meals with plastic utensils. all of that stuff#so fucking what? it doesn't affect any of them! I wish they'd just stop commenting on it but they don't.#well. at least it's just over the phone now. I haven't seen my or my husband's family since we moved in and I'm not planning to anytime soon#precisely because they will not stop doing this no matter how I react to it#like in what world would that ever do anything good? it doesn't motivate me to get shit done any faster. because guess what? I'm already#going as fast as I can.#like. I've had (maybe still have) a middle ear infection and been on antibiotics all week and I still got so much done! that's good enough#and this part is fun to me! I like that nothing is finished and everything is possible and new and different#it does also stress me out but so far it mostly feels like an adventure#anyway. I'm just venting but seriously why is everyone I know irl so mean all the time?!#personal
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this is also why i stopped using my tracked tag for a while tbh
#and i might do it again bc its just#a reminder that no one rly cares abt what i do / who i am etc#which might sound over dramatic idk how else to describe it tho its just hollow#it feels very much like a Chore and a Task and if i dont reblog things fast enough from my tag#people get very angry and/or upset with me even tho theres just#so much content and i have 0 time so everything gets queued no matter what#like this whole experience feels like a chore lmao#and it never ever used to#but now theres so much animosity if i dont behave / interact with things Properly#or whatever the make believe rules are idk#this dash can just be so negative like have we all truly descended into madness during this hiatus#bc like i get it ive been up and down and all around too but ive never been straight up MEAN to anyone in this community#and i never want to either so this entire situation thats been bubbling for months just feels like shit#bc what the fuck changed and how do we get back to where we were#i never ever ever ever felt this way before like idk the middle of last year#but ever since like last fall its just been idk. Bad#once again im sorry if ive ever done anything to upset anyone but my silence / absence doesnt mean i dont care#ive just been Incredibly busy due to some real life changes that are out of my control#i might not have energy to answer everything but i do Read everything and it does make me smile#and i save messages that are kind in my heart so i can be reminded of the root of what this blog is supposed to be#a space for something im very passionate about and previously had nowhere else to express said passion#so like idk if we all like the same things why does this weird feeling of competition linger over us lmao#why do all ccs have to fight???? each other???? when we all love and do the same things????#i have nothing against anyone personally but what i Do take issue with is the way that ive been doing this since 2021 and im fully just#ignored and shoved aside by so many people for reasons i fully dont know or understand#so yeah idk this is a novel i just woke up from a spontaneous nap bc im so exhausted i can only stay awake for 3 hours at a time#but yeah anyways idk !#be nice its so easy !#tbd
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dunno if it really fits them but the thought won't leave my brain so here's a doodle
#guess what I've been watching recently lol#the bentley!! theo's truck!! the fact both of them are living in their cars JDVNDSVSJN#this is the first time I have ever drawn theo and my second attempt at liam#absolutely no idea how I feel about these guys but it's alright enough that I'll post it I suppose#anyways I just think that if thiam is ineffable spouses then sciles is ineffable bureaucracy#like should sciles be the main pair? maybe. but scott is NOT azira and you fuckin know it.#he'd go along with demon!stiles so fast it's not even funny#he already does with normal stiles! can you IMAGINE the mischief demon!stiles would cause? how could scott resist??#scott āare we seriously doing thisā mccall vs stiles āyou're the one who's always bitching that nothing's ever happeningā stilinski#at least liam TRIES to act like he doesn't wanna do whatever theo is planning#I can imagine the 6000 year long slow-burn with thiam. sciles would last approximately 1 hour (if even)#this is just clicking in my brain so nicely I am sure I am utterly and completely wrong but I do not care lalalala#thiam#theo raeken#liam dunbar#teen wolf#teen wolf fanart#good omens#my art: oil paint pawstepsĀ š¾
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Hngngng my ADP apointment isn't thorough another fortnight but I just realised what a FANTATSIC birthday present thst getting sorted would be bc the first payout would be backdated *months*
#im not entirely sure how its calculated tho so idk how much ill hypothetically get#it seems to be based entirely on perdonal response and description of difficulties#which is SO refreshing but makes me question how much they'll actually offer even for the most debilitating of disabilities#when theoretically anyone could just go in and say oh nah yeah i can never do anything without assitence#perhaps having the interviews to verify documents is a part of that? idk#im autistic and desperately scrabbling at the poverty line man getting any additional funding would be a gamechanger#im. gradually coming around to the reality that we pretty much depend on fast food in order to est consistently#and thats okay. its a lil difficult for me to accept bc i was raised on takeout being a treat#but. like. this month has been easier in part bc we *can* afford takeout a couple times a week#even if its just grabbing breakfast from greggs or something#like sure we can both cook but. adhd time blindness#keeping the kitchen clean enough#having the fucking energy to prepare a meal after work??#i manage sometimes but its a major drain and alfie basically cant#so yeah no havint extra money to buy meals means we're actually eating every day lmao#a bag of chips is better than nothing
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recently I've been taking a bunch of speed reading tests (competition w/ my friends) and I never realized the whole thing ab speed reading not sticking was like. real. I thought it was just like. a learning differences analogy in Impulse (1995).
#fastest ive read w/ full comprehension was 1128 wpm#and I could tell you the basic gist of the story I read rn#but if you asked ab super fine details I might not be able to answer.#but also like. it's stories that are kinda interesting so ofc I can rember. and even the ones that are just like facts and research#are also interesting#so basically#I WOULD read this fast if im trying to cram it in right before class cause I forgor to do my HW.#maybe not if I have a discussion on a reading and enough time to think it through or if im reading for leisure.#bonemeal says silly stuff#sorry guys whole nothing sandwich post. yeah im still posting it unfortunately.
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sometimes I wish I was a more interesting + charismatic person just so I could keep conversations going bc I like sharing space with other ppl but they routinely lose all interest and leave once I run out of things to say/start talking abt things that don't concern them :-(
#and boy do I run out of things to say so fast when I'm talking to friends who ik dont give a fuck abt any of my interests...#theres only so much i can make small talk or ask them questions abt their own interests/lives yknow. man#it just makes me feel like im constantly competing with smth else for other ppls attention all the time + constantly losing#eg. when i say smth + my flatmate reaches for her headphones a little dark souls banner appears across my vision like INTERACTION FAILED#and i can feel my rsd + insecurities praying on it like the more i feel this way the more it prophetically fulfils itself#by making me less willing to try and take up space so i become a smaller and smaller person around others#it frustrates me a lot sometimes and i dont rly have the will rn to undo that and force myself to take up more space regardless#ik this sounds like a water is wet complaint like oh nooo woe is me people get bored of me when i talk abt boring things (!!)#but when im spending time w ppl i like i enjoy listening to them talk even if im not interested in the subject bc its Them talking#and if they care abt smth then its worth hearing abt!! to me anyway. but it rly feels like no one reciprocates that idk#oh well not that it matters. at least i like the shit im into so i can talk to myself abt it in my head or on this site lmao#and i like myself as a person even if other people dont so theres always that. ur no 1 should always be urself <3#voicing this makes me feel so stupid + embarrassed urgh. i hate being anxious abt dumb shit i hate being the sort of person who worries#that their friends privately dislike/just tolerate them or whatever bc id never want a friend to worry abt whether i thought that abt them#and im not naturally a very insecure person!! i think im just feeling particularly vulnerable atm bc of the season + jobhunting so long#+ the fact im dissatisfied with my current social life + still feel very wobbly from not having other ppl i can trust or rely on etcetcetc#and thats just bleeding into other areas. and it sucks a lot. but theres nothing to be done abt it rn bc im not going to communicate it#to other ppl bc im not pathetic enough to make my anxieties someone elses problem + beg for pity attention im too proud for that š#anyway. gonna play some noita + then i rly need to work out today bc thats probs part of why im feeling so shite#if ur reading this ignore me im just venting itll pass. i hope youre having a nice day :^)#.vent#.diaries
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