#there's nobody I can throw under the bus and not have them see it

[antimony-medusa]

Okay so inspired by nothing in particular (it's inspired by reading the notes on the ace swag final poll, fun stuff in there), I have been thinking about being Cringe. Cause like, you enter a fandom, and usually, you find out shortly that somebody else hates that fandom. There is no fandom niche enough that it's not Weird to somebody, and there's no fandom mainstream enough that it's not Annoying to somebody else. And given the fact that some people do hatred recreationally, there's often going to be somebody mad enough about your fandom that they're going to go on diatribes about how your fandom is bad and actually harmful and destroying the fabric of civilization, etc. They're gonna pull out anything negative and blow it up until it's the size of the skyline and attack you for liking this negative thing.

Fun times, we've all seen it.

And the thing is, there's an impulse to have this happen and immediately find somebody else to point to and say, yeah, well, I might be weird, but at least I'm not THAT guy. I might read YA, but at least I'm not a Furry— those guys are sexual deviants! I might be into actual play podcasts, but at least I'm not into mcyt— those guys are all harmful and my guy is fine. I might be into danmei, but at least I'm not into bandom— rpf is so gross. I might be a furry, but at least I'm not into mainstream romance novels— senseless drivel aimed at middle class white women. Y'know. Immediately find someone to punch down on.

And boy do I understand why you want to do that, when people are pointing at you, but I don't actually think that it's helpful.

Cause like, every fandom has a logical train of thought and reasonable human impulses behind it. You might not share those impulses— I'm not a furry I don't think, I don't really get true crime— but that doesn't mean I can't have it explained to me by a very patient person in in the writer's workshop common room and go "oh, yeah, kinda pretending to be an animal, but you're gay about it, yeah, makes sense", or "oh yeah, morbid curiosity from the safety of your headphones, it's like a horror movie but real" and nod. Like there isn't a fandom or group out there that doesn't look weird from the outside, and there isn't a fandom or group that can't be explained if someone has thought about the human psyche enough.

And that isn't to say that there isn't sometimes salient critiques for what fandoms are doing or not doing— to grab the two examples above, I have heard people talking about issues with true crime reinforcing the current fucked up justice system, or bigotry at furry cons. But a) most of the time, there is already somebody inside that community that's fighting against those issues, and you just threw them under the bus with the problem they're trying to fix b) you don't usually know the nuances of the actual conversation and problems, you saw a couple callout posts. You saying "Yeah I'm a board game nerd but at least I don't play competitive trading card cames, those guys are doing nothing but feeding the capitalist machine" is not usually helpful towards fixing the ctg scene. It's just a cheap way to score points.

Like, I assure you that the YA scene is aware of the calcification of the genre into a tighter and tighter romantic form and their dependence on going big on tik-tok to sell enough to keep publishing. They know.

You specifically saying that your fandom is better cause it's not [problems you heard about other fandom having] is not actually going to make the person who's hating on you stop hating. They already decided that you're the person they're better than and that they're punching down on, you passing the punching down on to another fandom just makes more people sad on the internet, and potentially starts yet another chain of someone punching down at someone else. The wheel grinds on, everybody gets punched.

I guess this is just kinda turning into a "why hate on the internet, what good does that do" post, which is broader than I meant it to be. But like, there's a difference between thoughtful critique of problems (complicated to do fairly but very necessary) and finding someone new to curbstomp to make yourself feel better/morally superior (look, I'm writing this on a mcyt blog, we've all seen this happen, it does not increase the joy in the world).

Like in MCYT, we all decide to punch down on [other server we hate], or RPF, or people who write kidfic, or people who write e-rated fic/art, or people doing the popular trope of the moment, and sure, it lets you feel morally superior for the moment, at the cost of slapping the guy next to you. Haven't we had enough slapping the guy next to you? There but for the grace of god (got a fun idea/watched the wrong stream/ended up in the wrong brainstorming circle/got fixated on the wrong funny guy) goes I. You're not better than another group just because you saw a couple more callout posts (usually from people inside the community trying to fix things) about them.

We are all Cringe. There is nobody who's not Cringe. Don't say that you're not Cringe because someone else is more Cringe. Stop that.

[keeira2]

I’LL ALWAYS LOVE YOU

stalkerexbf!rafe x fem!reader

masterlist

summary: life takes a weird turn when your introduced with an anonymous stalker. but everything changes when he breaks into your house and your met with him face to face..

warnings: crazy!rafe, pantie stealing?, creepy!rafe, rafe threatens you with a gun, sort of cnc, heavy on the smut, CNC, spit kink, degrading kink, tied up reader, soft!rafe at the end? MDNI 18+!! if i miss any pls lmk

a/n: this is kinda long whoops, not rlly proof read so ignore any mistakes pls. it’s also rlly kinky js giving everyone a heads up. hope you guys like it :3

after another long shift at the pelican yacht club, you’re finally home. throwing your keys onto the kitchen bench nd undress for ur shower. which was what you desperately needed after serving snobby kooks for the past six hours. you let the hot water fall down your body. scrubbing ur scalp and body clean of any grime from the day.

wrapped in ur towel, you walk to ur bedroom to get dressed. grabbing a baggy tee nd a lacy thong. as ur going thru ur lingerie drawer, you notice ur favourite pair of black panties missing? which was weird because you remember folding them nd placing them in there the night before.

you brush past it, getting dressed nd collapsing onto the bed to watch murder documentaries. after less than half the episode, you find urself drifting into a deep sleep.

days, even weeks go by, your daily routine unphased. another closing shift at work, you grab ur belongings nd start to walk home. usually you’d catch the bus, but when you close it’s already 10pm nd there aren’t any buses running this late to the cut. so you walk home, wrapped in ur fur hoodie trying to ignore the cold air.

it’s only a 10 minute walk to get home, which has never been a problem especially bc you know most ppl in the cut. but this time you feel a burning gaze shooting right thru you.

you shiver, partly because it’s cold but mostly bc you have an overbearing feeling that ur being watched. you hear a rustling in the bushes behind you, which could’ve been the wind but you were NOT taking any chances. so you start to run, not looking back. you don’t stop until you get home, quickly unlocking the door nd slamming it closed behind you.

you make sure to lock all the doors and windows before hopping in the shower, which helped you shake the creepy feeling off of you. you heat up some popcorn nd snuggle under your covers.

ur trying to pick a movie to watch, occasionally leaning over to grab a handful of popcorn you hear your phone ‘ding!’. lazily reaching over to grab and check it, you freeze when ur gaze lands on the message.

unknown number: you don’t need to run away from me, doll. was js making sure you got home safe ;)

someone was following you. oh my god. you sat still for a moment, still in shock. how did they get your number? how long have they been following you? you basically led them to your home, do they know where you live now?

millions of thoughts racing through ur head, you couldn’t help but text back, your hands shaking over the letters.

you: who are you???? please leave me alone.

before you can even shut ur phone off, another ‘ding!’ catches your attention like he was waiting for your response.

unknown number: you’ll find out who i am soon enough. i’m just looking after you, don’t be scared, doll.

what does he mean i’ll found out soon enough? is he gonna come after me? did he follow me home? you’re literally shaking in fear now, ur mind racing with different possibilities.

you: please. leave me alone.

you see he’s typing, but stops. he doesn’t text you for the rest of the night, maybe he listened and he’s actually gonna leave you alone. you were just hoping that maybe it was a prank from ur friends. anything except the fact that you might actually have a stalker.

you struggle to fall asleep that night. tossing and turning in your bed, desperately trying to calm yourself. ‘the doors are locked, nobody can get in. ur okay’ you reassure yourself.

a few days go by and you start to notice more panties going missing. what the fuck? you’re left with only a few pairs now, and there’s no way you’ve just misplaced them. the realisation dawns on you. what if he’s been here. has he been in ur house??

you try calming yourself down. ensuring every window nd door is locked. sitting back down ur cozy bed, u slip under the covers and bring ur knees up to your chest in a fetal position. your breathing is heavy while u hold ur head in ur hands. you quietly sob. ur so scared. you’ve only been living by yourself for 6 months and you were scared then. why me??

you didn’t even realise how much time had gone by or when you’d gotten tired. but you rub your closed eyes, letting out a big yawn and stretching your arms out. but when you finally open them, you freeze.

a man is standing in ur room, looking right at you. you can’t muster up the courage to say anything so you just stare back completely still, unable to see his face.

“hey doll, you miss me?” a familiar voice asks, stepping closer.

your mouth falls agape. no. no. no. no. no. this cannot be happening. you’d ended things with him MONTHS ago after he started acting out, getting angry all the time, threatening to hurt you and being literally insane. you blink ur tears away, one managing to roll down ur cheek.

“r-rafe..?” you whisper, if the house wasn’t completely silent he wouldn’t have been able to hear you.

“you’re so pretty when ur sleeping, baby.” taking a step closer to you now. you try to move backwards but ur back already pressed against the bed frame. u see him reach behind him, pulling what looks like a gun out of his back pocket.

“n-no, no please.. what are you doing?” you ask shakily, trying to back away further away from him to the other side of the bed.

he sighs, “i don’t wanna have to use this, doll,” shaking the gun in his hand to refer to it,” just listen to what i say and don’t give me a reason to hurt you, alright?”

you tremble with fear, “please, rafe, please leave.. i wont tell anyone. just please” you plead with him. praying that he’ll just go and never come back, even tho you know deep down that’s not gonna happen.

“m’sorry, no can do,” taking another step foward until he’s standing over you, ”missed you so much, can’t leave now.”

his words made your heart flutter, you couldn’t help it. you couldn’t deny the way ur thighs clenched together at the thought of him putting in all this effort just to see you. why are you like this oh my god?? no. u want him to leave. you need him to leave.

after a second of hesitation you finally ask “..what do you want, rafe?” wiping a tear from ur face.

he sits down across from you on the bed, holding the gun up to face you. ‘he’s only doing this to scare you.. he would never actually hurt you’ you try convincing yourself.

“aw come on, don’t be like that, angel” his hand grazing ur knee, before placing his large hand inbetween them to gently pull ur legs apart, “i bet ur so wet right now, so desperate f’me.” he groans nd u notice the massive buldge in his jeans.

u shake ur head, “no, rafe,” you sob again, “please go.” he brings the hand that’s holding the gun to your face, pushing the hair out of ur face with it, “sh sh, it’s okay.. ur okay. save the tears for when i’m done with you, alright?”

you don’t know if that’s reassurance or a threat but either way you feel your pussy getting wetter, his hand travelling lower until its resting on ur plush thigh.

“i need you to stay still, baby, or ur gonna get hurt.” he warns sternly before standing up and reaching for his back pocket again, pulling out a thick rope. u already know how this is gonna go.

he snatches both ur hands nd goes to tie them to the headboard. u squirm nd use ur trembling body to try and push him off, he doesn’t budge until u slap his face. his face turning back to you slowly, a hand against his jaw with a smirk.

“what did i just say? hm? ur gonna regret that, doll, makin me do things i rlly didn’t wanna do.” with a harsh grip he snatches ur wrists again, ur body squirming trying to release your arms but to no avail. when ur wrists are tied down, you whince, the pressure making you sore.

he reaches down to grip ur face and pulls you in to a desperate, hungry kiss. he hovers over you, pulling ur legs apart with his body. his tongue invading your mouth. as much as you hated this, you couldn’t help but kiss him back.

when he finally pulls away he wastes no time in ripping off ur shirt, “no bra, hm? knew you wanted this.” he groans and attaches his lips to ur tits, licking and sucking at ur nipples causing you to let out a series of faint moans.

rafe pulls away, snatching ur knees to spread your legs apart wide. eyeing you down, admiring the wet patch he’s created through ur panties. he lays on his stomach infront of you, giving ur thighs open mouth kisses.

“r-rafe, please..hmmpf” u whine. u don’t know if ur asking him to stop or if u want him to do more. ur so ashamed.

“please what, doll? use ur words cmon.” he teases ur swollen clit with his thumb, over the fabric of ur soaked panties.

when u don’t respond, his big hand slaps your pussy, causing you to let out a scream. “i said use ur fucking words” he raises his voice at you.

“p-please, eat me out,” u whimper when he rubs circles over ur clit, “need you.” that was enough to please him. so he tugs ur panties off, sliding them off ur legs and his tongue was licking a long stripe thru ur folds. “u taste so good, baby” he mumbles into you. without any warning, he inserts two fingers and thrusts mercilessly, now sucking ur puffy clit.

you let out a scream, or a moan, you didn’t know what it was but he makes you feel so so good. almost made you forget how he’s been breaking into your house and stalking you.

u tug to wrap your hands in his hair but remember ur wrists are tightly bound. he’s holding u down with one hand and fucking you with the other.

you feel yourself getting close, clenching around his fingers. u start to squirm, lifting your hips so he can get deeper but he detaches his mouth from ur clit and pulls out his drenched fingers.

“..why’d you stop?” you whimper, desperate for your release.

“youll cum when i say you can.” your eyes pleading with him but he shakes his head. “now your gonna take my cock like the filthy slut you are.” reaching for his belt nd yanking his jeans nd boxers off.

he starts teasing your folds with his cock, making you squirm even more. you know this is wrong. he’s insane. but you can’t help but enjoy his torment.

suddenly he roughly thrusts into you, without letting you adjust, pounding into you ruthlessly. the sounds of your skins clapping, his heavy grunts and your screams echo the room.

your legs unconsciously wrap around his waist. his hands grip onto your hips tightly, surely leaving bruises for you in the morning. “r-rafe, fuck, please sto-“ you screech when he goes in deeper. “fucking take it, quit complaining.” he yells before taking your tit in one hand, teasing your nipple inbetween his fingers.

he knew your body so well. you hated it. if this was anybody else you wouldn’t have been enjoying it like you are now. but it’s rafe. even when he was acting crazy in your relationship, he always made sure you knew how much he loved and cared for you. how he would do anything for you.

you can feel your release finally coming. you clench around his cock, silently begging he’ll let you cum. but to no avail, he pulls out. he unwraps your legs and sits over your chest. “open.” when you don’t comply he grabs your jaw and sticks his thumb into your mouth, “i said fucking open.” the second your lips start to part, he pushes his dick into your mouth, thrusting relentlessly making you gag around him. tears start to well in your eyes and when you try to pull your head away he latches his hand in your hair to stop you from moving. finally releasing you when you feel his cock twitch, followed by a hot flow of cum invading your throat.

he grabs onto your jaw again, giving you three light slaps to you cheek and spits in your mouth. “fucking swallow it,” hesitantly you do, opening your mouth back up and sticking out your tounge to show him.

he smirks, content with the sight in front of him. your hair disheveled, hot tears covering your cheeks and that look in your eyes, which you always had when you were around him. his sweet angel. he loved ruining you.

“rafey.. can i cum now, please? i’ve been a good girl.” you beg. the nickname making him flustered, which fortunately for him you don’t notice in the dark room.

“d’you think you deserve it?” he asks teasing to which you nod eagerly.

“please.” all your self respect and pride out the window now because you were so cockdrunk on ur psycho ex boyfriend you couldn’t think properly.

he shuffles back, spreading your legs apart again and moves his hand towards where you need him most. he begins toying with ur swollen clit before thrusting back into you. this time slower but just as deep.

you don’t hold back your moans, he makes you feel so good. but your cockdrunk haze interrupted when he started to speak again. “tell me you love me.” he groans, his eyes locking on yours. his thrusts hitting deeper, picking up the pace.

you were immediately taken aback. ofcourse you loved him, it’s rafe. but he’s crazy, god, he broke into your house and threatened you with a gun. he noticed your hesitation and starting rubbing your clit, almost sending you over the edge.

“y-yes, fuck, rafe i love you! hmmpf” you scream, your pussy clenching around him once again, his hand tightly gripping your throat. his thrusts brutal, pounding into you. you tug at the ropes bouncing your wrists when you feel pure bliss, your mind hazed and your pussy aching. his thrusts not stopping to ride out your high. you let out a loud, shaky moan/scream. the neighbours probably thought you were getting murdered. your orgasm leaves you limp, only ur legs shaking when he pulls out, yanking his boxers and pants back up.

what you’ve just done dawns over you. you’re so ashamed. you actually begged him to keep going. your tears reappear, trying to be as quiet as possible so rafe doesn’t notice and yell at you again. you wanted to kick him out, call the police and never see him again. the other part of you wanted him to hold you in his arms while you cry, and beg him never to leave your side. but right now, rafe decides for you.

he leans over to give you a sweet peck on the lips and reaches for your bound wrists. “are you gonna be good?” he whispers, eyes scanning your face for any lies. “i’ll be good, rafe. promise.” and you meant it, even tho you were choking back sobs of humiliation, you still meant it.

he untied the rope, your wrists aching and bruises already appearing. he leaves pecks all over the markings, which is his way of saying he’s sorry for hurting you. “i love you so much, y/n” he confesses, straightening back up to face you again. without even thinking, you lean forward, taking his jaw in your hands and you kiss him.

the kiss is beautiful, it wasn’t rushed or heated. it was slow and meaningful. when you finally pull away, you avoid his gaze. “i love you, rafey,” his eyes widen, he didn’t think you’d actually say it back. he knew you said it before, not because you meant it but because he basically forced you. but you did mean it. you never had stopped loving him, you were just tired of his lack of sanity.

he stands up and walks out of your room, leaving you on the bed alone without saying a word. a minute goes by, you felt so dirty and disgusting now. but before any worse thoughts could swarm your head, you hear footsteps heading towards your room. rafe is back, and hes holding a towel. oh, how you missed him.

he taps your thigh, signalling you to spread your legs and cleans up the mess you’d both made. discarding the towel, he crawls onto your bed and slides under the covers with you. “i’m really sorry, baby. i wasn’t trying to scare you. i just- i didn’t know what else to do.” his excuse was sloppy (and insane) but you still forgave him. you knew he was messed up, but so were you. in his head, he was just trying to show you how much he loved you, even tho to any normal person it’s a really creepy way to get someone back, you understood enough to let him hold you.

his arms wrapped around your waist, ur head snuggled in the warmth of his neck. “i know, rafe.. i’ll always love you.” you whispered before drifting to a heavy sleep in the comfort of his arms.

[janeyseymour]

All I Ask

Loosely based off of two prompts: one where R asks Mel to hold her as more than just a friend the night before Mel goes on a first date, and another where both R and Mel are set up on blind dates (requested by @gwennybriggs)... enjoy.

WC: ~4.15k

One thing about Barbara Howard is that she loves to play match maker.

“All I’m saying, Melissa, is maybe it’s time to get yourself back out there!” Barbara antagonizes her best friend once again during a lunch period. The kindergarten teacher looks to you with a small smirk. She knows of your feelings for a certain redhead sitting in between the two of you, and she’s hoping that the second grade teacher will just take the damned hint. The kindergarten teacher also knows of the feelings that Melissa harbors for you. 

“And all I’m sayin’, Barbara,” Melissa says that name with a pointed tone. “Is that I don’t need no one in my life to ‘complete’ me, or whatever bullshit you wanna tell me being in love does.”

“Melissa, it’s been two years since you broke it off with Gary. Don’t you think it’s time to get yourself back out there? Just maybe?”

“I don’t need nobody- not when I have a happy life as it is.”

That is the end of the conversation for the time being, but then Melissa starts to think it over. Maybe what Barbara is saying is true- it’s been a while. And she does miss having someone to fall asleep with at night. Although… whenever you come over, the two of you end up curled up on the couch together, and occasionally you will spend the night in her bed with her.

It’s platonic. It’s just friends being friends. At least that’s what Melissa tells herself. That’s what you tell yourself too when you lay in bed with her at night and wonder if maybe, just maybe, this is something more. 

So the next time you’re over, Melissa asks you about it.

“What do you think about what Barb was saying the other day at school? About… finding love and all that shit?” the redhead asks you as her head lays in your lap.

You stiffen slightly, not sure if this is your chance to say anything. Green eyes look up to meet your own, trying to figure out your thoughts.

“I mean, I think it might be good for you,” you shrug softly.

“Well,” she says as she sits up to look at you more intensely. “What about for you? Miss eternally single?”

The reason you’ve been single as long as you have been is because of your feelings for the redhead, not that she knows it. You shrug your shoulders ever so slightly, letting her know that you have hesitations in your answer. “I guess maybe I could consider going out on a date or something.”

So the next day at school, during lunch, love lives are the topic of the staff room.

“I was thinking… what if we set you up with someone I know?” Barbara asks. “C’mon, you know I would pick someone good for you.”

Melissa sighs a great breath. “Will it get you off my back if I say yes?” At the kindergarten teacher’s nod, the redhead swallows harshly before, “Fine.”

“Oh, how wonderful. I know just who I should set you up with!”

“You know, Y/N and I were talkin’ last night, and she’s thinkin’ ‘bout getting back into the dating game too. You know of anyone to set her up with, Lowercase?” Melissa asks.

Janine’s eyes brighten, and you can swear you see them almost start to sparkle at the idea of getting to play match maker for you. “I do!”

“Oi,” you roll your eyes and shake your head. You elbow the second grade teacher sitting next to you gently. “Way to throw me under the bus.”

“If I gotta do it, so d’you.”

As you and the redheaded second grade teacher head out a few minutes early to use the restroom before picking up your kids from lunch, Barbara whips around to look at Janine and the rest of the group.

“I’m going to say something, and what I say must be kept between those of us in this room,” the veteran teacher says seriously. “That means nobody will tell Melissa or Y/N.”

“Barb, how am I supposed to not tell them?” Jacob asks incredulously.

Barbara stares him down intensely. “If you cannot vow to not say a word to your roommate about this, then you may leave.”

The social studies teacher’s hands raise in surrender, and he urges her silently to continue.

“You’ve all noticed the way those two are always together, and Y/N has stolen my work wife, yes?”

She’s met with a chorus of affirmations as well as head nods. Jacob puts in that you’re almost always over, and that occasionally you end up spending the night after a glass too many.

“I’ve had about enough of this tiptoeing around that those two love sick fools are doing,” Barbara rolls her eyes. “So, I am going to pretend to send Melissa up with one of my friends. Janine, you will set up Y/N with one of your friends. And we all ensure together that the two of them end up in the same place at the same time without them finding out that they will be showing up to the same date, yes?”

“Oh my god!” Jacob grins and claps his hands together in excitement. “We all get to play match maker!”

“Do you see now why we mustn’t speak a word of this to Melissa or Y/N?” Barbara looks at the excited man pointedly.

He gives a serious nod.

That day, Barbara gives a talking head to the camera men. Janine joins her. 

“When Barbara Howard wants something, Barbara Howard gets that thing,” the kindergarten teacher states. “And what Barbara Howard wants now more than anything is for those two to get their heads out of their asses. The two of them… flirting harder than Janine and Gregory were before they finally pulled their acts together.”

“Hey!” Janine gasps. “Did I only get pulled into this interview to get insulted?”

The veteran teacher just gives her a knowing look and a pat on the shoulder.

The next day, Barbara comes in with a pep in her step as she knows that her plan will soon be put into place.

“What has you in such a chipper mood?” Melissa asks as she pours herself and you a cup of coffee before the kids come in. The redhead places your cup where she knows you’ll end up once you show up for the day.

The kindergarten teacher looks to Janine, who is sitting very quietly (for once), before grinning. “I found the perfect person for you to go out on a date with.”

“Oh?”

“A friend of mine,” is all Barb offers up. “So, you have a date at six tomorrow night at The Dandelion.”

“Tomorrow?”

“Would you rather I change it to tonight?”

A blush creeps into the second grade teacher’s cheeks. “No. No thank you.”

It’s only a few minutes later that you walk into the room, cheeks flushed from the cool air outside. 

“Hey,” Melissa smiles softly at you. She juts her chin out in the direction of your steaming hot cup of coffee. “Made it for you already.”

“You’re a lifesaver,” you grin as you go to put your lunch in the refrigerator. “I think I’m going to need it today.”

“Well,” the second grade teacher chuckles as you sit down next to her. “If you need another cup, you know you can always ask me to grab you another.”

You lay a gentle hand on her knee and squeeze it affectionately. “You’re the best.”

Mr. Johnson smirks at the camera.

Because the group has conspired to set the two of you up unknowingly to you and Melissa, no one speaks of the redhead’s date at lunch- much to her surprise. Melissa will take it though- not having to deal with the crew on her back about it.

“You comin’ back to my place today?” the second grade teacher asks as you’re packing up your lunch.

You nod with a small smile as you nudge her affectionately. “I’ll bring the wine?”

“Should I bring enough for Jacob too?”

“I will be out with a new man, so no need,” the social studies teacher cuts into your conversation. “Hopefully, this one works out.”

So, you and your coworker end up on the couch together after a long day with a delicious meal and a rather full glass of wine in front of each of you.

“So, anything interesting happen at school today for you?” you ask as you lay your head down in the redhead’s lap.

Melissa hums softly before sighing. “Barb is setting me up with her friend. I have a date tomorrow.”

Your eyes widen ever so slightly. “Oh?”

She shrugs, trying to gauge how you feel about that. And thankfully, you’re able to mask your true emotions on the matter. “That’s nice. It seems like everyone is starting to put themselves out there lately.”

“I’m sure Janine will find someone for you soon enough,” the redhead tells you. “You’re a catch, and someone is bound to see that sooner or later.”

You grimace. You’re not so sure about that. And even if you were, you only want one person, and it’s becoming more and more clear to you that you’ll never have your chance with her. So, in that moment, you decide that starting tomorrow maybe you need to start distancing yourself from Melissa in order to get over this silly crush you have on her. You have to get yourself back out there without her constantly lingering in the back of your mind.

“Hun,” she thinks she’s reading you like a book. “C’mon, you’re a great woman. Anyone with eyes can see that you’re beautiful, and then when you let your personality shine through… you’re the real-”

You shake your head as you sit up. “Can we just… not talk about this right now? I just want to enjoy tonight with you… savor our time alone while I can before someone swoops in and steals you from me.”

Green eyes meet yours, filled with a pleading look to just drop the matter of the conversation. It’s clear to you that she wants to continue to try to boost your confidence and build you up, but she relents. “So, did anything interesting happen at school with you today?”

After polishing off the bottle of wine that you brought over, Melissa ends up bringing out a second bottle. You hate to admit that you perhaps have a few too many glasses just because you’re trying to drown out your sorrows about not ever being able to tell the woman next to you how you feel and that this is probably the last night you’ll have with her where things are exactly the way they are now.

“C’mon, hun,” Melissa nudges you gently after your head has hit her shoulder for the fourth time that night. “Let’s just head to bed.”

You nod against her shoulder sleepily, but you make no moves to get up.

“Y/N,” the redhead nudges you again. “C’mon.”

“I’m comfortable here,” you yawn out. “You’re comfortable.”

“I can be comfortable up in my bed too,” Melissa retorts with a small laugh. “I can’t sleep on a couch anymore, so c’mon.”

You let out a small whine but disentangle yourself from her own limbs before looking at her with a pout.

“Trust me,” your coworker sighs as she sets a hand on the small of your back to guide you up the steps. “You being grumpy and getting up for a proper night’s sleep is much better than me being a bitch tomorrow because I woke up sore after a night of sleeping on the couch.”

You nod your head begrudgingly. The two of you crawl into bed as you usually do- both having respective sides. A chill rushes through you as the wine drunkenness begins to wear off and your met with the cool sensation of Melissa’s fan running in her bedroom.

“You cold?” the redhead asks as she lifts an arm for you to scoot under.

You nod as you shimmy into her space with a soft smile. Her arm wraps around you and pulls you even closer.

In a rather bold move, instead of laying your head on her shoulder, you turn to face her with a sad smile.

“What’s wrong?” Melissa asks you. “Are you still cold? Should I get extra blankets?”

You shake your head. “I just… things are going to change if all goes well with you and this man Barb’s setting you up with, and if Janine ever finds someone for me.”

Melissa just hums. She’s not quite sure what to say to you about this. What you’re saying is true, and it’s becoming clear to her that you aren’t necessarily thrilled with that. If she’s being honest with herself, she isn’t too fond of the idea of things changing between the two of you either.

“And… I know it’s dumb, and I know that we aren’t together, but I like what we have,” you mumble.

“I do too, hun,” Melissa squeezes your hand gently.

“Can we just… pretend for tonight?”

“What do you mean?” Green eyes look at you curiously.

“Pretend that we’re not scared of what’s coming next, or scared of having nothing left?” You quote Adele’s lyrics unknowingly. “Like… if this is my last night with you, where everything is how it usually is, can you hold me like I’m more than just a friend?” You know you’re still drunk, or at least somewhat intoxicated. If Melissa shoots you down, you can blame the alcohol. And if she doesn’t, tomorrow you can excuse your question with the alcohol too. What do you really have to lose? Not much, if you’re being honest with yourself.

The way that she pulls you close to her and wraps her arms around your waist simultaneously makes your heart grow three sizes and break. What is happening feels so right, but you know that this is only one time. It won’t ever happen again. You feel warm lips against your neck, and you inhale deeply. Why can’t this dream of yours be a reality?

As the redhead beside you gently nips at your neck, just once, she too has feelings of regret. Why is it that she only wants you right now?

The two of you fall asleep dreaming about the same thing- a life together. 

You wake first, and the feeling of still being in Melissa’s arms has you practically swooning. If anything, throughout the night, she held onto you tighter than she had while awake. It’s warm and domestic, and you can smell the perfume she was wearing last night as it surrounds and intoxicates you.

You lay there in a peaceful bliss until her alarm starts going off. She wakes with a small jolt before her eyes peel open, and you’re met with her sparkling eyes.

“Hey, hun,” Melissa smiles at you. “You sleep off all that wine last night?”

You roll your eyes playfully as you prepare to pull yourself away from her- as much as you don’t want to. “Yeah, I think so.”

“Hungover at all?”

You shake your head, only to sheepishly start nodding before rolling away from her. “My head is pounding.”

“Well, you know where the advil is,” the second grade teacher chuckles as she starts to sit up. “And I’ll make us breakfast and coffee, so hopefully the hangover lessens.”

As you get ready, neither of you speak of the events that happened last night. You quietly note that you’re surprised Jacob didn’t make his way back to the apartment last night, but that’s really all the two of you talk about. And then you’re off to Abbott in your car, while she follows behind in her own.

At school, you don’t settle in next to the redhead like you usually would for the morning news. Instead, you make up a lame excuse about having to do work in your classroom. You don’t even take the offered second cup of coffee from your coworker. You have to start distancing yourself if you’re going to survive working at her while she starts dating again.

During lunch, you make your way into the staff room quietly and grab your meal from the refrigerator before trying to make your way out relatively unnoticed. It doesn’t work. Of course, Melissa wants you to sit with her like you usually do.

“I- I think I need some peace and quiet,” you offer meekly. “But thanks.”

You’re out the door by the time Melissa is huffing about your actions. “Girl damn near lost her mind, I swear.”

It’s towards the end of the day when Janine approaches you.

“Janine, I really can’t today if you’re going to try to rope me into ‘saving the school’ again,” you sigh as you begin to gather your things in your arms. 

“It’s nothing like that,” the energetic woman tells you quickly. “I’ve been trying to get ahold of you all day.”

“Didn’t really look at my phone today,” you grumble.

“Well, I wish you would’ve. I know you have nothing to do after school today, so… my friend got back to me. You have a date tonight.”

“I’m not going on a-”

“Yes, you are,” Janine tells you in a strict, out of character, tone. “Be at The Dandelion at six.”

“Janine,” you groan. “I just want to-”

“You’ll be at The Dandelion, or my friend is going to be really pissed with me. Please.”

“Why should I?”

“Because,” the short woman struggles to come up with an answer on the fly. “Because you’ve been single for so long, and with everyone else getting back out there again… it might be good for you. C’mon, just one date. That’s all my friend is asking for- and then… if you don’t like it, you don’t have to do it again.”

“Fine.”

Janine squeals happily. “My friend will be in a green shirt tonight, so keep an eye out.” The second grade teacher knows what Melissa will be wearing because that was the topic of the staff room today at lunch, which you were not at.

You’re absolutely dreading this. You do not want to be at The Dandelion to go on a date with one of Janine’s friends. And yet, you still find yourself changing into a pair of jeans and a nicer shirt to go to dinner.

Upon your arrival, you survey the area, only to discover that you’re there before your mystery person in green. You find a seat at the bar and sigh, ordering a glass of wine.

About five minutes later, you see someone in green walk in, but they look oddly familiar. It- It’s Melissa. Fuck. She too surveys the area, clearly looking for her date. The redhead has no such luck, but she does lock eyes with you and give a small wave before making her way over.

“What are you doing here?” she asks quietly. “Come to spy on my date?”

You take a sip of your wine. “Actually, Janine set me up on a date, but they aren’t here yet.”

Melissa hums indifferently. “Neither is my date. What do you say we just wait together here?”

Not necessarily knowing how to reject her offer, you nod and pull out the stool next to you for her to sit on. She too orders a glass of wine, and once she’s served, she looks at you.

“So, we gonna talk about why you pulled away from all of us today at school?”

You blow out a breath. “I had some things to do in my classroom.” You can tell those green eyes boring into your soul don’t believe you, so you attempt to change the subject. “How were the kids today for you?”

By 6:25, neither of your dates have shown. The two of you are sitting together quietly nursing your wine and still looking around.

When the time hits 6:30, you sigh. “Do you think they’re going to show?”

The redhead glances down at her watch. “Half an hour late, and still not here? I doubt it.”

“What the fuck?” you groan. “I’m going to kill Janine.”

“Barb ain’t gettin any of my meatballs any time soon,” your coworker grumbles as she pulls out her phone.

You dial Janine, fully intending on giving her a piece of your mind. She picks up after two rings.

“Hey! How’s it going?” she answers as cheerily as she always does.

“Your stupid friend never showed up,” you grit out.

You can practically see the face Janine makes as she gasps out a, “What? No, they did!”

“No they didn’t!” you hiss into the phone. “I’ve been sitting here for the last half an hour waiting for someone in green to show up, and no one has!”

“No, my friend definitely showed up, I know it.”

At the same time, Melissa is on the phone with Barbara.

“Barb, your friend never showed! I’ve been sitting here with Y/N for the last half hour waiting.”

“My friend definitely did show,” Barbara’s voice is calm and steady as always.

It takes the two of you a few seconds to let their words sink in before you realize you’ve been played.

“You set us up,” both you and Melissa hiss into the phones at the same time.

Only then do both of your coworker step out of a booth with smiles on their faces. “Maybe.” They both hang up, wave to you with shit eating grins, and then head out of the restaurant together. 

Slowly, you turn to Melissa with wide eyes. She does the same.

“So, you’re my date?” she asks you.

“You’re mine?” you stammer out. “But I-”

“Those two are going to get it tomorrow.”

You let out a nervous chuckle as you tuck a few locks of hair behind your ear. “Yeah. They are.”

“Well,” the redhead sighs. “I guess we should get a table and have dinner.”

“You- you want to go on this date with me?” you fumble over your words. At her nod, you blush, but the smile that washes over your face is genuine and radiant.

Dinner is nice- it’s… it’s different than the other meals the two of you have shared in the past though. Conversation flows easily between the two of you as it usually does, before she takes a deep breath.

“Y/N, we should… we should talk about this.”

Her tone tells you that she’s not interested in the slightest, and you grimace. “I can just… I can just go.” You go to grab your handbag, but a hand stops you as fingers wrap around your wrist.

“I didn’t mean that,” she rolls her eyes. She tugs you in close, and her lips meet yours softly for the first time.

Your eyes go wide as you realize that the woman of your dreams is sitting here kissing you before you reciprocate. And… wow. 

“Y-you-” you stammer out once you’ve pulled away.

She just chuckles and kisses you again. Mumbled against your lips are the words, “I’m glad you’re my date, and not someone else.”

All you can do is smile. Once you pull away, you tell her, “I am too. I was not looking forward to going out with one of Janine’s friends.”

“I mean,” Melissa nudges you. “You kind of are going out with one of her friend’s right now.”

You shrug. “I guess she didn’t lie when she told me I was meeting her friend. I just… didn’t expect it to be you.”

“I didn’t expect you to be Barb’s friend either, hun,” your coworker teases you.

That night, you end up back at her place, and unlike last night where the two of you were just pretending to hold and be held as more than just a friend, it’s real. You are more than friend’s now- doing what lovers do. It’s soft, it’s sweet, it’s domestic, it’s warm… it’s everything you could’ve dreamed of when it comes to Melissa.

Your hand is laced in hers as you walk into the staff room the next morning, and Barbara and Janine look rather content with the charade that they had pulled off the night before. It’s clear to you that the others are aware of the situation before them, as Jacob can only grin and fist pump somewhat discretely.

“You still ain’t getting my meatballs anytime soon,” Melissa grumbles at her work wife as she makes her way over to the coffee machine.

“Well worth it, Melissa dear,” the kindergarten teacher chuckles into her own mug. “Well worth it if it means that the two of you finally got your heads out of your asses and are together.”

TAGS: (and let me know if you want to be included!): @schemmentis @thesapphictimelady @marvel210 @itisdoctortoyousir @morgana-larkin @doesthatsuggestanythingtoyou @marvels--slut @gwennybriggs @megamultifandomtrashposts @lemz378 @http-sam @melissaschemmentisbranzino @imaginesmultifandoms @sexysapphicshopowner @lilfartbox1 @maybe-a-humanbean @imlike-so-gaydude @a-queen-and-her-throne @notinmyvocab @melanielaufeyson @dvrkhcld @cosmichymns @sasheemo @m1lflov3rrr @ricejucie

[genderqueerdykes]

Thank you for your “cishet looking men” post. I’m a trans lesbian who was hyper femme for many years but now feel at home being butch. I also had to go back in the closet for grad school. My wife is a lesbian, and I’m constantly grieving no longer being seen as a lesbian couple. Everyone thinks I’m a straight man. It’s especially painful in queer spaces. I fear that people look at me with suspicion and disgust, and I know it affects my wife as well (the whole “don’t bring your bf to Chappell Roan” thing). Worse still, for many reasons I don’t know when I’ll ever be able to be fully out again… my wife supports and reassures me wholeheartedly, but it hurts so much sometimes. Anyway, your post (and entire blog) has been really healing for me. I cant thank you enough.

hey im really glad to hear i could've helped you- you are literally the exact type of person im thinking about first and foremost when it comes to talking about why people should NOT assume a "cishet looking man" IS a cishet man.

i'm so sorry that people view you as a straight man just because you've had to return to the closet in the past, and now feel more comfortable identifying as butch. no one should force the idea that you're in a straight relationship on to you- you're not. it doesn't matter if someone has been out for 1 second or 10 years- a trans woman who "looks like a cishet man" is still a trans woman. why are people so willing to throw trans women who don't pass under the bus?

people just don't care about pre- and never transition trans women. people don't take the time to realize some trans women just do not want to transition. people don't take the time to care about trans women who already see their bodies as women's bodies and don't want to change anything about them. people don't give a shit about the fact that trans women have to boymode or go back into the closet for safety reasons. and people especially don't care about trans lesbians who are being assumed to be cishet men. this is what terfs do, can we stop doing this to our own?

like... this is all transmisogyny. does nobody on this planet care anymore that this behavior is transmisogynstic? like i'm happy to break it to everyone, but assuming every person you meet who looks a certain way is 100% without a doubt a cishet man is transmisogynistic. this is straight up erasing transfeminine experiences. policing people by their bodies and what queer spaces they can exist in is fascist behavior

i'm so sorry that you can't be out right now. you should NOT be facing this type of treatment from within your own community. i really can't stand people who assume every person they meet who looks a certain way is definitely 100% a cishet man. you literally just don't know by looking at a stranger. and especially with how dangerous it is to be out as a trans woman, why are we putting trans women through this? you shouldn't have to jump through hoops in the queer community in order to be seen as queer. plus, this behavior completely leaves out questioning transfems and women, like. transfems and women get to question, too. many trans women were men at one point and they shouldn't have to feel alienated for it.

i hope things improve for you soon- thanks for taking the time to send this message. if you need any more help feel free to come back any time, you deserve to feel like who you really are, and not who other people are assuming you are.

[plural-on-paws]

May I expand. It’s not about the “animal packers” and etc. I believe that it’s nobody’s business. The issue is how nonsensical it sounds to say “I am an animal” out loud. People will laugh at you. You will damage your own relationships. Think. Is it worth it? And why do people act like that? Because it’s crazy.

There’s a popular conservative lie that is spread around of “litter boxes in schools” and “people identifying as animals” and that’s NOT REAL. It comes from a complete fabrication to make trans people look worse. Don’t try to make it real. I don’t care if it’s “been around for decades” that doesn’t change anything. It’s not about streamlining your identity to make it more digestible to outsiders who don’t understand, it’s about the threshold where “identity” crosses between “genuine insanity” and if you can’t SEE the clear line between those two things then there isn’t much hope for you.

Hey anon! Great to see you actually just hate therians! Hooray!

Even longer post, will also be under a cut!

Firstly, addressing the very popular but very wrong lie of "kids are using litter boxes in schools": These are for service animals. These are put in place by schools who have students (or teachers) who have disabilities that require them to bring a service animal to school with them. This has nothing to do with therianthropy, it is just a lie that Tiktok caught on to and spread it like wildfire.

(Now, to add in before this section, this isn’t to “throw clinical zoanthropes under the bus” with therian discourse. There’s nothing “wrong” with clinical zoanthropes, just like there’s nothing “wrong” with therians. I am simply stating facts. That’s it. I think it’s important to be educated about things like this. Let’s continue.)

Secondly, therianthropy is not "being crazy". It is not a mental illness, it is not a disability, it is not wrong. However, you may be interested im learning about "clinical lycanthropy" (or zoanthropy, different from therianthropy). This is an extremely rare, delusion-based psychiatric syndrome characterized by patients believing that they can or have physically transformed into a non-human animal. It is essentially the delusion that one can shapeshift into a werewolf (or similar animal). It is associated with psychosis (aka delusions and hallucinations). It is considered to be an expression of a psychotic or dissociative episode caused by another condition (like DID, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, or depression).

This article describes a report done on clinical lycanthropy. Over 130 articles were screened and between 1852 and 2020, there were 43 cases of clinical lycanthropy identified. That's right. 43. Now, have you seen how many therians are on Tiktok? Yeah, more than 43. And they're definitely not from 1852. So how can you say that therianthropy is "being crazy"? And don't say "they're just delusional" because the only delusion that somewhat accurately presents like therianthropy is that of clinical lycan/zoanthropy. Professionals would know if someone is genuinely delusional, but why would they care about such a small group of people in the world?

There are also studies done on patients with clinical lycanthropy actually have differences in their brains. The part of the brain known to be involved with represent body shape can display unusual activation in patients with clinical lycanthropy, showing that when patients report their body changing and shapeshifting, they may genuinely be perceiving those feelings. Have therians ever claimed to you that they can feel their bones and skin and limbs shifting and changing to become that of a non-human animal? No, because therianthropy is not a delusion. There are often no physical feelings in the body of a therian when they, for example, experience phantom tails or ears etc. That begs the question, would you say that an amputee experiencing phantom limbs is psychotic?

So, people identifying as a non-human animal is real! There are reported cases of it in the medical field! Shocking, right? It must be crazy to you that there are documented medical cases of people identifying as animals, allllll the way back to 18-goddamn-52.

Thirdly, therianthropy has nothing to do with being trans. It never has, it never will. No one has ever claimed it to be. Being trans means that your assigned sex and birth does not match with how you perceive yourself and how you want others to perceive you. What you might be thinking of is being trans-species. This is okay too! It just means that your assigned species at birth (human, obviously) does not match with how you perceive yourself and how you want others to perceive you. See how I used two different words? Species and gender?

Plus not all therians are trans-species, like myself! Generally I don't have much of a desire to physically become a wolf or a cat or a shark. I'm comfortable being perceived as a human, even though sometimes I just wanna wag my tail and run around and put my ears back and growl! I know that some therians feel super uncomfortable in their human body and wish that they could change! And that's where the species-affirming packers come in. It's like being transgender but it is not! And no one is claiming it is.

Another thing is that a lot of therians tend to be neurodivergent. But you're not saying that therianthropy is ableist, are you? No, you're just trying to connect two dots that are miles away. Neurodiverse people can feel a disconnection with humanity, and that can explain for some people their alterhumanity. Of course, not all therians are neurodivergent nor do they believe that their neurodiversity are the root of their alterhumanity. Have a look at this poll from Reddit, almost two thirds of participants indicated that they're neurodiverse!

Now, being neurodivergent calls for being discriminated against in and of itself. Same with being LBGT+. And being any race except white. Do you really think that therians who are LBGT+ are going to be discriminated against more for their alterhumanity than their sexual orientation or gender? No. Do you really think that therians who are neurodiverse are going to be discriminated against more for their alterhumanity than their disabilities? No again. Do you really think that therians who are POC are going to be discriminated against more for their alterhumanity than their race? Absolutely not.

Ultimately, people have been discriminating against POC, gay, trans and neurodivergent people long before they were called "weird" for being a therian. People have been killed over simply being gay or trans or neurodivergent or . Therians may receive death threats, yes, and that is disgusting behaviour from hateful people, but no one (to my knowledge) has been killed simply for being a therian. The discrimination against LGBT+, neurodivergent and POC communities runs way way way deeper than anyone saying "therians are weird". Do you think that therians in these communities are going to be more worried about being laughed at because they're a therian than being literally slaughtered for their race, disabilities, sexual orientation or gender? No! There are way worse problems for people to worry about than people saying they identify as animals! It truly is not that deep to say "I identify as an animal". Some people identify as inanimate objects but you don't seem to care about that (although there is nothing wrong with identifying as an inanimate object).

Also I can't even comprehend what you're talking about "streamlining your identity to make it more digestible". How is identifying as an animal more digestible than identifying as a man instead of a female like I was born as?

[shitswiftiessay]

so taylor has put out another hit piece against joe (who’s surprised)

after buying winning the TIME person of the year award 2023, and having a gushing puff piece that’s supposed to paint her as this trailblazer for women and feminist icon…

she made sure to dedicate a significant portion of it to talking about her boyfriends. 🙄

so here are the cringeworthy excerpts where she’s talking about her latest victim boyfriend.

“Football is awesome, it turns out. I’ve been missing out my whole life.”

I love how she single handedly debunked the claim that swifties have been making, that taylor ALWAYS loved football and was a huge eagle fan (just bc she had an eagles shirt). now it’s basically confirmed that this football shit is just taylor’s newest PERSONALITY that she’s gonna wear for a few months, until she gets bored of it, and then she’ll throw travis under the bus and she’ll start siccing her fans against him.

“This all started when Travis very adorably put me on blast on his podcast, which I thought was metal as hell.”

god, someone bring me a BARF BUCKET please. 🪣 🤮 and since when is it “adorable” for a guy to PUT YOU ON BLAST because you wouldn’t go out with him or take his number?? that’s… very weird. i’m sure she wouldn’t find it “adorable” if she wasn’t interested in the guy. but anyway, i’m pretty sure she just saw an opportunity here and she took it. she can’t handle being single for more than a month, she needed a new man to make people forget about her matty healy era. and she’s LOVING the good press she’s getting for being “America’s royal couple” as her fans are calling them. but does she actually LOVE HIM? that, I remain yet to be convinced about.

and I love this part. “We would never be psychotic enough to hard-launch a first date.”

yeah, taylor’s not CRAZY you guys, it’s not like she said “I love you” to matty healy on stage back in may before breaking up with him 2 weeks later. nah. it’s not like she immediately bought a house next to her teenage boyfriend connor kennedy who was STILL IN HIGH SCHOOL when she started dating him. nah. that would be CRAZY. PSYCHOTIC even!!

and here comes the part where she starts passive aggressively smearing joe and we all know she’s on a smear campaign against joe now but it’s kind of pathetic that even while winning PERSON OF THE YEAR she has to make it about that.

so taylor obviously has a lot to say about her new relationship, and how proud they are of each other. but you know what I DON’T hear her saying? “I’m in love” or “I’m happy with him.”

and personally, i think that speaks volumes. if she was truly HAPPY with her new man she wouldn’t be doing all this shit. if you were around when taylor broke up with calvin and then immediately started hard-launching hiddleswift, taking pap photo after pap photo and being extremely “happy” she was and meeting his mom and all that shit…. and if you don’t see the parallels between what she’s doing NOW with travis, you’re either a blind fan or just flat out stupid.

because at least when she started dating joe she actually left her exes alone (at least for a little while), she was like “I forget their names now.” and you can tell she was happy without having to make a big show of it- “nobody’s heard from me for months, I’m doing better than I ever was.”

but now she’s acting like it’s the worst thing ever that she was “locking herself in her house for a lot of years,” and she KNOWS that her fans are going to take that and blame joe for it.

JUST LOOK at the quotes and replies of this tweet and this tweet to see how those insane fucking swifties are acting over this. EVERYTHING she does now is an incitement against joe and she knows it, it’s deliberate, it’s calculated.

and i guess she’s gotta bury him while she continues hanging out with a sexual abuse apologist so she can look like she has some kind of moral high ground.

also, the way she’s trying to erase the fact that 11 of the 15 songs on reputation were LOVE SONGS about joe, not “a goth-punk moment of female rage at being gaslit by an entire social structure.”

this woman is just narcissistic and straight up DELUSIONAL at this point. she’s so far up her own ass it’s nauseating. but i really hope that she keeps on talking. because the more she talks, the more people realise what a narcissistic clown she is. 🤡

[puppiekit]

I think the funniest thing ever to me is seeing people on tumblr preach "transandrophobia bad" but then you look at the transandrophobia tag and its basically just "transmascs are not cis, do not have cis privileges, and still face oppression / societal discrimination" and "I have personally faced (X) and (Y) issue because of my tansmasc identity"

.... Aka literally no different from any other minority on planet earth talking about their issues.

But for some reason people on tumblr want to tell you acknowledging this issue specifically, and putting a name to it, is not only bad (because for some reason acknowledging that transmascs have issues = claiming cis men are oppressed...? Because idk people feel the need to make shit up);

but actively harmful to transfems (And I'm going to be blunt here: acting like transfems are the only ones who have problems, or are the only ones allowed to talk about their problems, is so incredibly horrible it's actually insane. And quiet frankly very infantilizing).

To be quiet frank it only boils down to the communities continuous hatred for masculinity. Nobody wants to admit the fact that their community will never be a truly safe space before they stop labeling people "good" or "bad" dependent on who they are or how they chose to identify. It's harmful when cis people do it, and it's equally as harmful when queers do it.

And don't even get me started on the fact that a large part of this pointless beef is rooted in the communities refusal to acknowledge intersectionality (aka a bunch of white people unable to grasp the fact that they are not the default and peoples race can play a part in their gender, how it is perceived, and how it effects their oppression... Including masculinity).

I know this is going to piss a bunch of people off but to be entirely honest I was raised a woman for 18+ years, and I still socially pass for a woman NOW, and the shit I get in my day to day life does not even compare to the amount of hostility I face FROM MY OWN COMMUNITY as a transmasc.

At least a random person on the street will be blatant about their hatred for me, trans or not. The people in this community will instead manipulate and gaslight and try to convince you their crap treatment towards transmascs is "a good thing" or "good allyship". No, hating others for identifying a way you don't like and and "betraying their womanhood" does not make you a good ally to anybody, and especially transfems -- in fact, I'd say you're kind of throwing them under the bus by using them as an excuse to be a terrible person.

Whatever... Ignore my rant... I'm tired of people being terrible to eachother. And also it super pissed me off as a POC to see people compare talking about the problems transmascs face to "what if white people claimed they were being discriminated against for being white?!?!?!" as if that is anywhere near the same..... Like are you a legitimate dumbass or what? Why the hell do you people always use POC and their experiences as leverage against others.

How are you going to compare a TRANS person talking about their unique experiences with TRANSPHOBIA to a person at a societal advantage falsely claiming to be oppressed??? POC are only worth considering when you can use our issues to your benefit I guess

WHATEVER.....

[nutzgunray-lvt]

Why I Hate Canon Dadzawa

I'm pretty sure I've said this before multiple times, but Aizawa is my second least favorite character in MHA behind Bakugou and ahead of Shinsou. Most of this is because of his canon actions/how he's written, but a lot of this is due to people INSISTING that Fanon Dadzawa is Canon Dadzawa.

To put out a disclaimer, I don't mind Fanon Dadzawa. There's been some really well written Fanon Dadzawa fics that I like, and I'm of the belief that you can and should write whatever fics you want. I also think that Canon Dadzawa/Aizawa as a whole could have been such an interesting character had he been written better. Instead (like with almost every other character in MHA) we get someone whose actions don't match how he's supposed to come off as.

This topic is a sore spot for me, because the people who got me into MHA tried selling me on Dadzawa, Dadzawa, Dadzawa. I felt so tricked when I first got into it and saw that none of what they were saying was true.

Just like how Bakugou is a Temu version of Vegeta (so insulting to Vegeta) and Sasuke (who is another character I don't really like, but will put well above Bakugou), Aizawa is a SheIn version of Kakashi; a conventionally attractive, badass, no-nonsense teacher who genuinely cares about and is protective of his students. I have my problems with Kakashi, but it's at least been actually shown that he cares for his students, and whenever he does a "Rational Deception", he not only immediately explains himself, but he only ever did them in his introduction. For that matter, he's actually a good friend to Guy.

Aizawa, on the other hand, is a hot mess of a walking, talking contradiction in writing and Character Shilling. We're constantly told that he's this amazing teacher and amazing person, but the evidence doesn't match up with these claims.

He never owns up to his failings, choosing to a) ignore them entirely, b) excuse them away, or c) throw other undeserving people under the bus to make himself look good. We see this in how he halfheartedly acknowledges Ida angrilly calling him out on his repeated lying to 1A, when he excuses away his utter failure in curbing Bakugou's awful behavior with his "deep seated conviction" in bring a hero, and when he tries throwing All Might under the bus when Hound Dog calls them out in exaserbating Izuku's trust issues after the Gentle Criminal fight.

For that matter, he has yet to apologize to Izuku after his realization during the Liberation Front War of how much of jackass he was to him. Seriously, Izuku has saved his ass I don't know how many times, and he continued being such an ungrateful bastard towards him. I'm not saying he should have gotten on his knees and proclaimed his life to him, but you would think that would have at least changed his attitude towards him.

And speaking of Izuku, while he's always on his ass about his Quirk control... he completely ignores the issues that Aoyama and Kaminari have with THEIR Quirks. Kaminari being taken hostage at the USJ due to his lack of Quirk Control goes completely unacknowledged, and Aoyama's lack of Quirk Control is treated solely for comedic value. You'd think Dadzawa: Best UA Teacher would try to help the two of them as well, but nope.

I could go on all day about his expulsion record, but the point is, he's ruining these students' lives due to him projecting his own traumas onto them. I have to reiterate this, but these expulsions DO IN FACT stay on their permanent records. In Japan, having an expulsion on your permanent record CAN AND WILL prevent you from getting a well paying job. Expulsion is treated as an absolute last resort for a reason, and to see him throw that threat around like it's nothing is horrible of him. Nedzu is a horribly negligent principal for letting Aizawa do this, and the fact that nobody has sued UA for this is a miracle.

Then we get to his favoritism of Bakugou and Shinsou, probably the biggest indicator of his hypocrisy.

It makes absolutely NO SENSE that Aizawa's presented as this strict hardass of a teacher, and then he's shown giving preferental treatment to an abusive egoist (that was canonically how Bakugou was described in his character profile) and a whiny, Quirkist Troll doll that's not even in the Heroics Course. This is especially egrigious considering how often he bitches and moans about All Might mentoring Izuku! He sticks his neck out for Bakugou when he absolutely doesn't deserve it and when you know for a fact he wouldn't do this for his other students.

For that matter, he's such an awful friend to Mic and Midnight. His relationship with both of them is all take and no give. Mic canonically surpressed his own grief and trauma surrounding Oboro and Midnight's deaths for Aizawa's sake, and while it was wrong of Midnight to throw Aizawa's name into the teacher's ring behind his back, he repays her trying to get him a job by doing all the above I just listed. His relationship with them is unhealthy as hell, especially since they NEVER take him to task for his awful behavior.

On top of all of THAT, he genuinely thinks he's this amazing teacher and person, given how angry he gets at Mic for calling him a terrible teacher during the Sports Festival. He calls Vlad King a better teacher than him... but doesn't do ANYTHING to change his ways. You can't have it both ways, Aizawa.

In conclusion, Aizawa would have been such an interesting character had he been allowed to examine and change his attitude and teachings. Instead, we get someone who unfairly has a reputation of being a paragon of goodness and rationality.

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

I’m so confused about how to talk about Kate anymore. A lot of the conspiracy theorists are Kate haters (the celebitchy crowd, etc). The conspiracy theorists are the one saying Kate was thrown under the bus for the Mother’s Day photo because they can’t accept it’s their fault for speculating so they want to throw the blame back to the palace. But I’ve encountered people who use these lines. They also believe Kate’s “handlers” failed her, and usually they say this as if to mean Kate is just handled by the palace. That’s actually something I see a lot with sussex squad. They often refer to Kate as someone with “handlers” who make sure she is a perfect princess. That’s one of the reasons they hate her, because they think she’s just a perfect princess handled by the palace.

So the confusing thing is people feel like they are fighting on behalf of Kate by saying she was thrown under the bus, but in some ways there are implications in what they say that she’s a complete doormat handled by handlers.

Do you think it’s actually so hard to believe that it was Kate who did the photoshop? Some people seem to think it’s impossible that the princess herself was the one who did the photoshop. Or do you think it’s impossible that it was her who insisted that she release an apology? Do you think they should’ve released a statement signed by both William and Kate? I don’t know and I’m so confused. And I will certainly fight on Kate’s behalf always but I can’t do so about perceived grievances that I don’t know the entire truth about.

And btw, I just want to say to that anon that said nobody’s been wishing for William and Kate to divorce like they do with Harry and Meghan. The fauxmoi sub on reddit literally has Prince William affair scandal on their bingo card for 2025. Omid Scobie literally posted a clock countdown for Kate’s announcement earlier this year and all the sussex squad were salivating at what the announcement could be. How can people be so blind? I honestly don’t like speculations about Harry and Meghan divorcing even though I don’t like them. Some “fans” just want to generalize that “ohhh royalists are so mean they’re speculating about harry and meghan divorcing” while ignoring what they’re doing to william and kate. I can’t with people generalizing just so they can confirm their victimhood narratives for harry and meghan and justify what they do. Sorry for the rant but people’s opinions and speculations and the endless assumptions and getting angry on behalf of their favorite royals… I’m getting tired of royal watching.

Do you think it’s actually so hard to believe that it was Kate who did the photoshop?

No. I mean, that's my personal theory. William took the photo. Kate chose the best one and made a couple of edits, ordinary edits that everyone makes, and posted it.

Some people seem to think it’s impossible that the princess herself was the one who did the photoshop. Or do you think it’s impossible that it was her who insisted that she release an apology?

No, because I do think it was Kate who insisted on the statement when the internet blew it up out of proprotion.

If Kate can take apology flowers to Meghan about the bridesmaid dresses after all the shit Meghan put her through (some of which the rota leaked and some of which Harry confirmed in Spare), she can insist on being accountable for her own mistakes to the internet.

Do you think they should’ve released a statement signed by both William and Kate?

Honestly, I think there shouldn't have been any statement in the first place. The statement just brought more attention to the issue. Or, if there had to be a statement, the statement should have been "We made small edits to make our family look their very best as all parents do. Here is the original untouched photo."

I don’t know and I’m so confused. And I will certainly fight on Kate’s behalf always but I can’t do so about perceived grievances that I don’t know the entire truth about.

My two cents - I think you're taking it much more seriously than it probably deserves. You don't need to understand the entire truth or what all the grievances are. You just need to know what your opinion is on the matter and be able to reasonably defend it.

But yes, I see you. Royal-watching can be exhausting, especially when it comes to all the generalizations and whataboutisms and especially at times like this when there's nothing happening so we're rehashing old news and old stories again, for the umpteenth time. It's okay to take breaks when it becomes more trouble than it's worth.

(And a little PSA for everyone - I'm traveling for Christmas so next week will probably be quieter than usual.)

[sgiandubh]

Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!

This is the second nasty Anon reaching these serene shores, ever since Kissgate started, last Wednesday:

The form of life sending it is now blocked. Not that she hasn't a choice to make several other sock accounts - of which I have been blocking an inordinate amount, these last weeks, by the way. And since she probably will do so, here is my answer:

What else have I got? Evidence of your desperate fear, Pumpkin. I mean, how bad things must look now, for you folks to shamelessly write that C was a 'clearly intoxicated woman'? Is it me, or your stupidity showed itself ready to throw The Goddess Herself under the bus, just in order to save face?

You are so desperate and shaken, that you don't even bother to disguise the particular corner where WHY is the Operative Word of the Day, for lack of any other sort of arguments. This is ALL the Screeching Banshees have to offer you in terms of a debate and it was always both funny and arresting to read. This and endlessly discussing OLD, FUCKING OLD marathon pictures nobody gives a supersonic fuck about, anymore. I thought you berated shippers for doing the same and yet...? Oooh. Oooh. It's not embarrassing if it happens in your corner. Gotcha. #Silly me. Won't happen again.

The same corner where these surreal comments have been posted, by the way:

I have no idea who that woman is, but (based on what she writes above) she is a tragic piece of work. I mean, you eat and drink with people you consider your friends, then you suddenly decide, one fine day, to bullshit them all over the dashboard. Frankly, now: what did you expect? Sunshine, lollipops and roses? Are you for real, even? And now you victimize yourself, surely a mature woman & a community pillar on your own right (your choice of words is very informative), that you are 'unable to read their blogs'? Oh, FFS, such a cheap eyeroll, right there. Just where are we? In a Uni dorm, trading gossip? Sweet Lord on a motorbike, get a grip, lady!

The thought of educated women collectively sharing some beliefs didn't even give her pause. It should have. At this point in time, this is cognitive dissonance, at its finest. Plus hey, weren't we STUPID, STUPID, STUPID? Huh? I find it extraordinary we suddenly aren't, anymore.

Back to you, Anon. I can feel the anger and see those trembling fingers on the screen of your phone. What a nice Freudian slip, right here: '5 years IF legal marriage'. Besides a sheet of paper, root canal smiles and pulse grabbing, what else ya got?

[trashrattt]

I totally think Code lyoko should have it's talked about reboot, mostly because

- when it came to Carthage, the most canon explanation from Franz himself, the explanation only lasts about 1 minute and 25 seconds, and nothing else comes of it

Sure, we knew why Xana was created, but like, Franz never really said Xana stopped it as it was his main intended purpose, why Xana was made to begin with, so like, that's a real issue in canon consitering Franz wanted to stop the project but never got to consitering Xana gained autonomy and all

And like, Carthage was kind of hinted at to be a bad thing too, you'd think that could be a real issue in universe

- spent 3 whole seasons building on this one character only not to do much with it at all and give him a really bad rep in universe afterwards

Okay, you know me, I like William an abnormal amount, but with all things considered, he wasn't a character to begin with, neither was a plot device imo

Yeah, he absolutely has no personality, argue with the wall if you need to

So like, yeah, he got posessed, but then what? Sure he was used to try to throw Aelita into the Digital sea, but like, tarantulas could do the same thing with those long ass arms, they could just use them as bats

And you've literally seen megatanks push her closer to the digital sea when she used a energy field as a sheild of sorts, so really, what was the point of him to begin with of other monsters could do the same thing no problem

And after a whole season of dawdling around, the writers rushed the whole "set him free" arc after ignoring it for basically the whole season, like there wasn't any episodes besides cold sweat where the characters actively try to break him free, you'd think there would be a little more give from the characters considering how #depressed Yumi was

(and yes, I know the show says, "I made ___ program" but let us see the FAILURE!!!!)

Even then, when he came back, the characters all decide "fuck this, you ain't shit to me" and dropkick him back to his life without any support, like dude lost months of his life without something he either remembers or blanked out on

- character writing in season four

Okay, this isn't really a reason why, it's more of saying "Why did you make your characters worse, we deserve better"

Because Odd in season four just became an absolutely terrible person, man

Constantly throwing his freinds under the bus just for some scheme he pulled or literally abusing the fact that he knows about Lyoko as a point to say to the others "This is why we're friends!!!1!@1!!" Even though at this point their friendship is downright terrible, like to the point where they just want to get Lyoko dealed with so they can fall apart like a poorly put together cup with scotch taped all over it

Imo nobody seemed to like each other as opposed to season 1 and 2 where they talked casually, like they had an actual friendship going on, not like "so, what's new on Lyoko, I want this shit dealt with today..." they were actual friends who did stuff together and had fun, I miss that :<

Anyways that was a more personal take, but season 4 just leaves a bad taste in my mouth with that rushed ending of theirs

Uhm oops, this was a long rant of what I dislike about the show, I was supposed to make this post simply to tell you guys what I'd propose for a continuation

Here's what I'd do:

Consitering Carthage was an abandoned idea from the depths of season 2, we build on that again

I'm imagining a non-terribly written Evo mixed with the chronicles, like bitch I actually love the idea of Ulrichs dad being tied in with Carthage simply because like, it would make so much sense (absolutely don't pull a chronicles though making EVREYONES mothers under the sun being tied in, that was stupid)

I'm also thinking, the antagonist we have is still a program, but it isn't Xana like in main series

Sure, they're simular, but it's a remnant from Carthage that has the same ideas as Xana, but worse (this is all first draft, but that's like the main idea that could work)

Also, give Will and actual personality this time, not just this "I'm soooooo sad" attitude that any traumatized character has, he has the potential to be COMPLEX!!!!

Kids cartoons nowadays are getting complex so don't say "Oh no they can't, it's a kids cartoon"

Anyways I'm hoping they build off of Carthage because that would be a PERFECT continuation aauaghh

Enjoy (?) My unexpected rant, idk

[maddiem4]

Well, I wanna be working on a novel right now, but apparently it's time to make a certain kind of post again, as is periodically necessary, because young queer folk keep trying to reinvent the Hayes Code for a variety of misguided reasons. So you know what? Let me lead with the TLDR, and then give my reasoning. If you DNI stuff like incest, I am not just going to unfollow you, I am going to block you.

Now, if you're the type to make assumptions, you might be surprised to hear that I'm not into incest. Sorry to disappoint. Well, unless you count selfcest, but people don't usually lump those together except by technicality. But incest is really not my thing.

That said, I have mutuals who are into it, and harmless about it. Whether it's fictional, RP, or consensual, it's not my business and it hurts nobody. Get used to those words, they're gonna be a mantra here. Further, I've seen how Hayes Queers (hey, I needed a term for them) talk about harmless members of their own community who give them The Ick. The post I'm writing here is a direct reaction to seeing a Hayes Queer post from someone I followed! Reading that, and the comments on it. And lemme tell you: y'all are very quick to throw your peers under the bus with the exact same logic (respectability politics, personal disgust, "making a bad name for us as a larger group", lurking threat to our moral purity) that the conservatives are using to argue for the mass extermination of queer folk. You are bringing pitchforks and tiki torches to the party. So no, I am not going to give you access to my vulnerable mutuals. That's the heart of it. You are a danger to your community, and I'm going to limit the scope of harm you can do. The broader queer/kink communities have worked hard to define harm more carefully than "well I just personally think it's gross." Scat and piss are gross to me, but my mutuals who are into those things do still deserve love and safety, not to be sacrificed on an altar of conservative family values for imaginary "one of the good ones" points. I have a responsibility to look out for my people. So do you, FYI.

So here's the recipe for living online with people whose kinks aren't your business and hurt nobody: learn to scroll past those posts or block those tags, or even block that person. Be an adult. The world does not exist to be personally palatable to you. You are not being harmed, you're being inconvenienced. If you can't handle that, you're the one bringing real-world (rather than imagined) danger to your community. Fuck's sake.

This also finally convinced me to look up what "proshipper" means after seeing it in discourse for years, these dreaded dangerous devils who apparently must be purged from the internet, and... holy fuck, how is this contentious? It literally just means you can disagree about fandom pairings without harassing people? That's just mature behavior in a shared space. That's what the argument is about? Oh my god. If you're arguing about this in 2024, your Aunt Maddie is fully ashamed of you for real.

The dumbest part is that people get doxxed for saying the stuff I'm saying, and maybe it'll happen to me. Guess I'll roll the dice. Which comes full circle: if you're looking at this post and trying to decide how to punish me for it IRL, you are literally being the danger. Stop and think for 30 milliseconds. Maybe I have a point that you are a bigger threat than two trans girls who like to pretend to be sisters for sex reasons. And I don't wanna hear no trauma excuses from any of you little monkeys, fetishes come from trauma a decent percentage of the time, so a lot of the people you're persecuting are victims of the same kind of assault as you.

This is more words than I ever should have to write about a self-evident topic. I know if you're young enough and still figuring out a lot of life stuff from scratch, it may not be self-evident to you. But hopefully it is now before you fucking hurt somebody. Thanks.

[anashins]

Hey babes may I request some rough make up smut with husband Doyoung after a heated argument? Perhaps a bit power play and breeding kink? 👀

-✨ℒ

Pairing: Doyoung x Reader

Genre: drama, fluff, smut

Word Count: 1.3k

Summary: You and your husband have always wanted children - until he starts doubting himself and you have to show him that he has no reason to at all.

A/N: I think this is my first time writing something with such a specific kink? I hope you like it, L 🥺💗

“We’ve been married for almost two years already, Doyoung. And never have I heard you speak about doubting getting a baby.”

“Aren’t I allowed to voice out my opinion?” he asked coldly, and at that moment, you completely lost it. 

With a bang, you slammed the entrance door to your apartment shut, totally furious. “When we started dating, we talked about this, because that’s what couples do before they vow to commit to each other for a lifetime.”

He hurried into the living room, throwing his jacket into the corner. “Opinions can change, okay?”

“But not in front of our friends during a casual gathering! You can’t just throw me under the bus and flat out tell them you’re unsure about starting a family when I was so excited about it before!” you called out in frustration, stopping him by holding him back by his arm. “No, don’t run away now, this is something serious we have to talk about!”

Giving it all to avoid eye contact with you, Doyoung reluctantly let himself get stopped by you, but you noticed how uncomfortable he had gotten after spinning around. There was much more to your husband’s sudden change of opinion, you just questioned yourself what exactly that could have caused. 

“I’m sorry that I made everyone uncomfortable and forced us to go.” His once maddened features had flattened out, his gaze soft and apologetic now. “I just felt under so much pressure when they asked when we plan on having a baby after seeing them with their children. In fact, lately, I’ve been thinking about this a lot.”

You bit into your bottom lip, feeling your heartbeat close to your throat now. You were so, so afraid of the answer to this question that could decide over your entire future together. “And to what conclusion did you come?” You swallowed, hard, a cold shudder running down your spine at the same breath. “Don’t you want a family with me anymore?”

“You deserve the family you’ve always wished for.” You finally locked your eyes and saw all the pain and regret in Doyoung’s eyes. “But what if our children will get all of my bad traits? What if I don’t know how to be a good father? What if I will never be able to give them the life they deserve? What if I can never compare to our friends? That’s what I meant.”

You were totally taken aback. “This is what your doubts are about?”

Your husband let out a long sigh and wanted to turn away in annoyance over how you downplayed all his worries, that was how well you knew him. You cut off his way though, got on tip toes and cupped his face.

“Listen to me,” you spoke slowly with a smile on your face. “All your bad personality traits mean nothing as long as you’re a good person. And you are a good person, Doyoung, so every single one of your future children will be too. Nobody is born a parent, and of course we’ll make mistakes along the way, but as long as we’ll raise our children fair and good, and provide them with the best life and with all the unconditional love we can offer, we will be good parents.”

You wished you were able to capture what happened next. The change in Doyoung’s eyes from worry, to doubt, then thinking and finally insight. Then, nothing but love.

“I don’t deserve you,” he finally said, tilting his head and nudging against your warm palm.

“You do.” You let your hand trail down his arm, reaching for his fingers. “Now prove to me how much you deserve me.”

____

“Not like this,” you whispered into Doyoung’s ear and pushed him away from you. 

“I wasn’t done yet!”

“You’ve finished already, now it’s my turn.”

He landed on his back, totally naked and with wonder written all over his face, but when you pulled up your skirt and climbed onto his lap, that quickly turned into desire when it dawned on him what you were about to be doing. 

“You need a pause before round two?” you mocked jokingly. “A glass of water?”

Your husband let out a laugh and pressed his palms into your sides. “I only need to be inside of you.”

“Okay, one moment.”

You leaned to the side and reached for the nightstand to pull another condom out of the box which would later lie next to the used one from only moments before. 

But Doyoung stopped you. “How about we chance it?”

“What?” You looked at him, totally confused.

He smiled and brushed with his fingers over your cheek in an encouraging gesture. “We’ll take our chance.”

“For a baby?”

“For a baby.”

Overwhelming love flooded through your body, and you bent down to him, kissing him passionately while simultaneously raising your hips. Doyoung moaned into your mouth when he nearly effortlessly slipped into you, and you flattened your palms against his chest, starting to move up and down along his length.

Your husband's fingers entangled in your hair, and the way he subconsciously tugged at the strands encouraged you to move even faster. You threw your head back, red marks showing on his skin where the tips of your fingers had grazed.

“Yes, just like this,” Doyoung murmured. “Good idea of you to go on top.”

“Shut up and enjoy,” you chuckled, bending down and kissing him. 

You alternated your motions between lifting and slamming down, going forward and back, and sometimes even drawing circles which your husband liked especially much as he let out noises you had only heard on very few occasions before.

Your breasts were bouncing in front of him, and he loved kneading them, giving you double the stimulation. It was especially intense tonight as you had done it without protection only once or twice in your entire relationship, and those times had only been the products of accidents.

Now, you felt him deep inside you without any barrier, all on purpose, and it felt better than ever before. Whether it was real or only all in your imagination because you were finally trying for a baby, you didn’t know. But in the end, it also didn’t matter.

You came so fast like never before with the rhythmic movements of your hips that caused sweat to collect all in your cleavage and forehead, and lured a scream out of you of which you were sure could disrupt all your neighbors’ sleep.

You collapsed on Doyoung’s chest, your own heaving up and down before he clawed your bum so hard, it nearly made you scream out in pain. But you endured it all when you noticed how stiff his body had become, an indicator for the fact that he was close to cumming himself.

“A-are you s-sure?” he still managed to ask before it was too late, stroking the back of your head. “I can still pull… out.”

“I want it,” you breathed. “I want your baby, please.”

You couldn’t even finish your sentence before he shot his seed all inside of you with a few pumps, and you laid still in his arms, with a content smile on your face.

Shortly later, when you two were cuddling, you were talking about who the child would come after. 

“You know what?” Doyoung declared after a while, hugging you close to him so that you felt his heartbeat close to your ear. “The majority of the time, it doesn’t work out at the first go.”

“I know.”

“That means we have to try often.” You heard his voice changing to a sinister tone, and when the tips of his fingers slowly crawled across your skin, you knew what he was up to. “We shouldn’t lose any time.”

[genderqueerdykes]

im seeing you post about transmasc lesbians and thinking now about that post i saw that was like "its kinda weird that top surgery scars are the trans lesbian stereotype and not any stereotypical transfem features" and like. yeah i do think there should be more mainstream transfem lesbians but also why do we gotta take the piss out of transmascs about it

agreed, they're two separate conversations that can be had at the same time

as someone who is a transfeminine dyke and has had a lot of transfem lesbian friends and partners, a lot of lesbian stereotypes that come to my mind are that of what you mentioned with transmascs, plus things such as femmes with flat chests wearing low cut shirts, breasforms, transfem butches binding after growing boobs from HRT, femmes with defined jawlines and deep voices, excitement from growing boobs, femmes with looooooong hair covering almost all the face, never transition transfem dykes, transfeminine butches who have proudly been telling people they were dykes as long as they can remember, dykes especially femmes with visible crotch bulge, there's a lot of transfeminine 'stereotypes' and things to lesbianism but there's no reason like you said to take the piss out of transmasculinity to point out lots of people just do not have experience with transfeminine lesbianism

a lot of people don't and it's fine and they shouldn't act like they do. i lived in a punk house for a few months and met a lot of transfem lesbians there got close to many. once you get exposed to transfem lesbians you become aware of "stereotypes" that are present in the community. it's 2 separate conversations when we we talk about stereotypes from more transfeminine and more transmasculine spaces in the community. they are lesbian experiences, but it is 2 separate conversations that can be held at the same exact time

part of the reason top surgery scars are so well represented in lesbianism is because afab bodies are treated like the norm, but also because a lot of lesbians struggle with gender and especially when that comes to the societal expectations placed on people with breasts. a lot of lesbians want to discuss their experiences with this and it's important. lesbians have rich and deep history of being gender variant people and it's important to let people celebrate top surgery scars. that's a separate conversation, however, it is closely linked to something else.

everyone on every side rejects transfemininity as belonging in lesbianism. everyone silently agrees afab bodies are the norm for lesbianism, so they shun any and all transfeminine experiences and prevent them from appearing in lesbian history. nobody wants to be the one to start romanticizing transfeminine features in the community for fear of backlash or getting silenced or mocked or talked over. we've made it nigh impossible to have the conversation about transfem lesbians, so people begin to fight with each other instead of recognizing that transfem and transmasc have very complex relationships with lesbianism and it's not right to try to silence one for the other

we have struggles that are common in a lot of ways. if we begin embracing what transfeminine lesbianism looks like, we can begin to have a more complete understanding of what the whole lesbian experience is. without putting transmascs down or trying to talk over transmasculine lesbians. we can talk about transfem and transmasc lesbians needing support at the same time. it's important that we do. we need to talk about how transmasc and transfem lesbians are here and that we need help in being accepted as part of the community

it's just wrong to throw any other queer person of the same group under the bus for the sake of trying to have a separate but very similar conversation. im with you. i hope we see less of this down the road. these are 2 very important conversations that we really need to have simultaneously. together at once.

[stormoflina]

Regarding szobo and Trent’s friendship. I think it’s one of those situations when u are an introvert person and friendship dies down. Not saying they not friends anymore obviously are. However, compare his friendships with other people like Jude he publicly shows support to Jude and Jude does the same if not more to trent tbh😂 he comments on every single Trent’s post. Trent doesn’t mind being seen on camera with Jude hence england content and story reposts . Where as Trent doesn’t like szoboszlai posts anymore for long time or comment in months either. I know Jude trent are a lot closer friendship wise but I think Trent did see comments and now you can tell he doesn’t like being seen on camera with szobo anymore even when szobo tries so hard to walk with him/grab his attention Trent ignores it and doesn’t want to be in same picture frames either or in training too he always purposely makes sure he isn’t. I don’t think they are as close as some think they are in my opinion anymore. Like Trent publicly shows so much love to ramsdale madders Jude hendo ect where as with szobo he hasn’t since September

Ngl, reading this kinda broke my DomiTrent heart 💔

I will have to disagree on the part where you say Trent purposely tries to avoid being seen with Domi on camera / avoids him. If you look at the fancams and bts stuff, they are still very much glued together. Trent seems image- conscious, but I don't think to this level. Yeah, he's an introvert, but he also seems like a kind, nice person, so I don't think he would do this.

It's also important to highlight that obviously Trent is going to be different with all the people you have listed. They have known each other for years and are national teammates. That's such a significant part, sharing the same nationality, speaking the same language, having been brought up in the same culture. Domi is also very different, much more relaxed around his national teammates. We joke around a lot about how he is being a "beg" around Trent, because to the naked (and DomiTrent focused,lol) eye he's totally acting like that, but , okay hold on.

I think I'm about to get a bit defensive here 😭

So Trent's mother tongue being English, him still in his boyhood club, playing for England, those are such huge advantages that players like Dominik will never get. I think it just doesn't show, because he speaks fine English and moves around like a very, naturally confident person. But still, to someone who has followed the Hungarian NT for years, he is almost weirdly """"shy"""" in some of the lfc content. You can tell English is his least strongest language and that he knows he is basically a little nobody in Liverpool.

Okay, Hungarian tax over lol. So, I think if any of the 'they are being forcefully separated' stuff is true, in any shape or form, it's probably only the sm team making a choice to not throw them under the bus for engagement basically. They obviously get along well, most likely not life-long besties, they have only known each other for like what, 6 months? But I like seeing them together, and especially with comments like the one, where Dominik said he often feels lonely moving to England, then saying how Trent was the first one to ask him out to hang out? That's so sweet!

Sorry for the long answer, I think I just really feel for Dominik in this scenario you raised, because he is even posting his dog, who technically is not even his dog anymore, so I just feel bad for him 😭

[oakwolves]

And Then I Go and Spoil It All By Saying Something Stupid Like I Love You, Part 1

Alright I got a random burst of energy to write for this au so I'm putting it under the cut

Rosalyn’s hands gripped the steering wheel even tighter as she pulled up in front of a bright house booming with music. She sat there in the car for a few minutes staring ahead as she steeled herself to go inside and face her Brutus.

The sound of Julian clearing his throat jolted her out of her stupor.

“Uh, Rose? You ready to head inside yet?”

“Yeah, yeah, sure. I just… I’m getting myself ready.”

Julian reached out and placed a steady hand on the girl’s shoulder. “If you want to go home instead, I’m sure Payton will understand.”

Rosalyn looked up and shook her head. “No, I’m fine. I need to do this.”

Rosalyn and Julian entered the house and were instantly surrounded by a cacophony of music, laughter, and shouting. Rosalyn’s face tightened slightly at the noise, but she continued to shake it off. Payton spotted the two of them and ran over with a wide grin.

“Rosalyn! Julian! You came!” She said excitedly.

“We're not here to party, Payton. Where is he?” Julian asked bluntly. Payton’s smile went out like a blown candle as she sobered.

“Ace? Right over there by the punch bowl. I've been working up the nerve to dump the whole thing over his head.”

The mental image of her boyfriend sopping wet with punch made one end of Rosalyn’s lips quirk up slightly, only for them to drop once her eyes locked in on Ace sweet-talking a group of students. For a split second, his eyes met hers and everything else around them was blocked out. Ace resumed shaking hands and chatting, shattering the immersion.

“Wait here, guys. I'll be right back,” she said, making a beeline for Ace. Julian stopped her.

“Careful, Rosalyn. If there's anyone who can handle Ace, it's you... but you've been burned before. If you want me to back you up, I'm there.”

He emphasized his point by joining his fist with his palm together. 

“Thanks, but no thanks. I have to do this myself,” Rosalyn assured him, squeezing his hand. She took a deep breath and kept walking towards Ace. This time, when he spotted Rosalyn in the crowd, he lit up.

“Rosalyn, How's it going? Heard you're having trouble in paradise.”

Rosalyn kept her steely gaze focused on Ace, ignoring the stares and whispers of other students. She beckoned for him to follow her, and soon she could hear his footsteps trailing behind hers. Rosalyn and Ace found themselves outside, where it was much quieter and open.

“It’s been a hell of a week,” Rosalyn finally said, not looking at him.

“So I’ve heard. I have to say, I'm stunned you resigned. Dodge the impeachment, make sure your school still has a vote on the Council, even if it means throwing yourself under the bus…” 

She could feel his gaze against the side of her face as he spoke.

“I did what I had to.”

“Smart play. In fact, I've never been more proud of you,” he said. At this, Rosalyn scowled. She fixed her face before finally looking up to meet his gaze. Her expression softened, seeing the boy, who put his jacket over her sleeping frame on the nights she spent hours going over hundreds of proposals, silhouetted in the soft moonlight. 

“Ace, listen. Whatever went wrong between us, I'm sorry. I know as well as anyone how hard you worked for that White House internship-”

“No, you don't know. You couldn't know. That's the point. Nobody at your school has a clue how hard I worked. You think you can show up on an empty lot and win everything,” he hissed venomously.

“I don’t think that, but-”

“See, it's not you I have a problem with, Rosie. It's your whole school. It's what you all represent.”

“Don’t interrupt me, Ace,” she cut in darkly. Ace’s eyes widened, but he remained silent as long as she spoke.  “I came out here because… despite everything, I wanted to try and make things right with you.”

“I told you. Your school is finished. The Council is mine. Your resignation doesn't change a thing.”

Rosalyn mentally cursed herself as Ace took a sip of his punch. 

“Ace…we were friends…more than that,” she said softly. Ace looked away from her, his face conflicted. “You can act like you were just manipulating me, but it's not true. Maybe you needed something from me too, but that belief you had in me was real. It meant something. I know you still care. For what it's worth, I'm sorry we hurt you. I hope it's not too late.”

Rosalyn stepped forward and placed her hand on his chest. She could almost see Ace's heart beating under her fingertips. She was sure he felt it too, that connection they could never quite shake. He pulled back, closing his eyes.

“Don't start that. You don’t get to talk about 'what we had' as if you weren't the one who tore it all apart. It doesn't change anything,” Ace bit out again, but there was much less heat behind it this time. He looked down at her, the hard lines on his face starting to soften. “It is too late…”

He turned away, rubbing a hand over his face. The sound of music and laughter from the party inside felt painfully distant. For just a second, Ace looked lost. Rosalyn stood her ground, refusing to let him get any wiggle room.

“Maybe it is. But I'm not giving up. On you, or this school. You can try and destroy us, you can try and tear everything down...” she said firmly. “But I'm not giving up on you. Not until I’m forced to stop.”

He closed his eyes again.

“I’ve always admired your fire,” he said after a long pause.

“Then you know I won't let myself get burned again. I won't let you win.”

“Maybe not,” he said, a hint of a smile at the corner of his lips. As he started to walk away, Rosalyn called out to get his attention one last time.

"Wait!"

He turned back around, looking at her expectantly.

“What is it?”

Rosalyn froze, unsure of what to say. There was still so much left unsaid between them. She took a step closer to him again. The words died in her mouth, a graveyard of unspoken words on her tongue.

They get interrupted by a voice at the front door.

“There you are, Rosalyn!” Rosalyn and Ace turned around to see her friend Annie leaning on the door. She looked between the two of them standing at the porch. “Everything alright?”

“Everything’s fine. Just a little chat,” Rosalyn said quickly. She was thankful for the interruption, but not happy about the questioning look Annie was giving her.

"I... alright. I'm just surprised to see you and... Ace out here together. When he showed up all by himself I figured you two umm...broke up.Because of... y'know...."

"Broke up?" Ace repeated. He almost laughed, but caught himself. Rosalyn shot him a warning glance.

“We didn’t break up,” Rosalyn found herself saying before her words registered in her brain. It was technically true. In the midst of everything that had happened these past few days it never occurred to Rosalyn to officially end things.

"We didn't," Ace echoed. Even his carefully composed voice had a hint of surprise in it this time.

Annie looked between both of them again, as if searching for something more to say, but she appeared to be tongue tied. A few long moments went by in awkward silence, but thankfully, she left without saying anything further.

Rosalyn looked back at Ace, who had a grin starting to form on his face.

“What?” she asked with indignation.

"You were just so quick to correct your friend and say that we didn't break up. I'm touched." Ace smirked. “Well now we have to keep up the act.”

"An act? What do you mean?" she asked, a mixture of confusion and suspicion on her face.

"You know, for the sake of appearances. Keeping up the act of still being together," he said breezily. Rosalyn's eyes were still narrowed at him.

“You said it was too late for us, Ace. Why do you suddenly care now?” She asked. “What’s in it for you?”

He leaned back against the railing. His demeanor was easygoing, but Rosalyn knew there had to be an angle to his suggestion. There was always a reason behind his every move.

“Appearances. Like I said, it’d be a shame to let people think our relationship ended on a sour note after a scandal,” he said. “It looks bad for me, and it looks bad for you.”

Rosalyn considered his words for a moment, still suspicious of his intentions. She considered her options for a moment. Ace obviously wasn’t going to let go of his goal of destroying Lakeside, so she’d have to find another way to stop him. Maybe staying close to him as his pretend girlfriend would put her at an advantage…

"Alright," she said slowly. "But just one thing."

“Hmm?”

“I’m still going to fight against whatever you have planned for Lakeside every step of the way,” Rosalyn stated flatly. If anything, Ace's smile only grew wider.

"I didn’t expect any less."

Suddenly, Rosalyn heard shouting. Looking back inside the house, she spotted Julian and Max squaring off, students surrounding them, egging them on. Ace quickly dropped from her mind as she rushed over.

“You know I'm right, Julian. Rosalyn has always been a loser, but now your whole school knows it,” Max jeered.

“Walk away, Max, if you know what's good for you,” Julian warned, crossing his arms across his broad chest.

“Yeah, you don't know what you're talking about!” Payton added.

“Really? So Rosalyn didn't resign from the Council because everyone turned on her?” Max taunted, his eyes fixated on Rosalyn as she approached. At this, Julian steps forward in front of Rosalyn with his fists balled in anticipation. Rosalyn moves in front of him, fixing a steely gaze on the bully.

“That's enough. Max, you got something to say, you can say it to me,” she said.

“Rosalyn! You actually showed your face in public. Didn't think you'd have the guts. How's it feel to be an outcast in a school full of nobodies? Seriously, your school is for kids nobody else wanted... and now even they don't want you.” he smirked, looking down at her.

Rosalyn gritted her teeth, her anger starting to get the best of her.

"You don't know anything," she said, her voice quivering slightly. Before Max could respond with another scathing taunt, someone crossed in front of them.

“I think you underestimate Rosalyn’s value to Lakeside,” she was surprised to hear Ace say.

The room seemed to go silent, everyone's attention now focusing on Ace. He was now standing tall beside Rosalyn.

He took a step forward, drawing closer to Max. The smirk on his face was gone, replaced with an intense gaze.

Max seemed unphased. "You're Ace, huh? I'm surprised you'd even want to be around Rosalyn now. Kinda seems like it’d be bad for your rep."

"I don't let other people make judgements for me," he said simply. "Rosalyn’s worth doesn't diminish just because you say it does."

Max rolled his eyes.

"What, are you her boyfriend or something? Gonna go down with the ship?" Max mocked.

“I am, actually,” he said firmly, taking Rosalyn’s hand in his own. Out of the corner of her eye, Rosalyn could see Julian tense up. 

“She called her own classmates ungrateful and entitled. Guess she wasn’t as goody two-shoes as she made everyone believe,” Max said. Rosalyn bristled at the reminder. Ace's fingers tightened around Rosalyn's, a silent reassurance.

"People make mistakes, but that doesn't define who they are,” he said, his gaze still fixed on Max. "Rosalyn has principles and she sticks to them. Those are admirable qualities, not signs of weakness.”

Max huffed in annoyance. He eyed Ace and Rosalyn’s joined hands with disdain.

“Whatever,” he muttered. He then smirked and straightened up as he turned his attention to Rosalyn in particular. “ Your school's falling apart, all because of you. That'll make beating you at the next football game even easier.”

“Say that again! I dare you,” Julian warned, stepping forward. Rosalyn reached out to pull Julian back  as the students around them started to cheer and yell for a fight. Max smirked at the two of them.

"I'm thinking we need to make some room in our trophy case, with how much we're going to dominate you this year," Max continued, mocking Julian.

“Go ahead! Your trophy case is gonna be empty!” Julian shot back. Some of Rosalyn’s friends stepped in to pull Julian away from Max. Rosalyn noticed Ace was fixated on Julian’s rapidly disappearing figure. There was something in his eyes Rosalyn had a hard time picking up on. She shook her head and made her way back outside. Ace soon appeared beside her.

As they stepped out into the night air, the quietness seemed almost deafening after the raucous noise inside. Ace stood beside Rosalyn silently, the shadows casting dark shapes on his face.

There was a tense pause as they both caught their breaths. Rosalyn looked over at him, her gaze uncertain.

“You can let go of my hand now," she mumbled.

Ace looked down at their joined hands as if surprised that he was still holding onto her. He slowly let go, but not before his thumb grazed her knuckles lightly. He seemed lost in thought for a moment before speaking.

"You alright?" he asked, his voice softer than before. Rosalyn didn't respond right away. Her mind was still reeling from the events that had just unfolded.

"There's no one here, Ace. We can stop pretending now."

Ace paused for a moment, and Rosalyn was certain she saw a flicker of disappointment in his eyes before it was quickly masked by an emotionless look.

"Right," he said, his expression unreadable. There was a pause before he added, "You know, we're going to get an Oscar for that performance in there."

Despite her feelings being conflicted, Rosalyn couldn't help a small smile forming on her lips.

"You're getting a little too much into this fake boyfriend thing," she commented.

Ace shrugged casually, but the corner of his mouth curled up in a sly grin.

"When I commit to something, I commit fully," he replied. "It's all in the details."

“So I’m told.”

“You were told correctly.”

A hint of amusement flashed in his eyes before he looked away, his expression returning to a neutral mask. They stood in silence for a few moments, the night air growing colder around them.

Rosalyn shifted awkwardly, the silence between them stretching on. She couldn't help the nagging feeling that there was something Ace wanted to say, but he was holding back. Finally, unable to bear the tension anymore, she broke the silence.

"Why did you step in back there? I thought you wanted me to look bad with that recording you leaked at my school."

Ace glanced at her, his gaze unreadable. He took a moment before responding, choosing his words carefully.

"I told you. It was never you. I want your school to fall. There’s a difference," he said bluntly. "But watching you get verbally kicked around didn't sit well with me. Fake girlfriend or not."

"Oh," Rosalyn mumbled, surprised by his honesty. She hadn't expected him to admit that. The silence fell between them again, but this time it felt less tense, more contemplative. Rosalyn wrapped her arms around herself, slightly shivering. Suddenly, she could feel someone slipping something around her shoulders. Looking down, she saw that Ace had draped his jacket over her.

"You look cold," he said, his voice still nonchalant, though his eyes betrayed his concern. Rosalyn pulled the jacket closer around her, the warmth instantly soothing the chill she hadn’t even realized.

“Thanks…” she murmured, her heart stirring.

Ace just nodded in response, shoving his hands back into his pockets, his gaze returning to the distance. The silence that followed was less uncomfortable this time, almost comfortable.

"You need a ride?" he asked suddenly.

“I came here in my car. I’ll be fine.” she assured him. Ace didn’t push the subject. 

"Suit yourself," he said with a shrug. He stood there for a moment, as if uncertain whether to leave or say something more. Rosalyn gave Ace back his jacket and headed back to her car.

Her thoughts were a chaotic jumble with the night's events replaying in her mind. With Ace out of sight, she was able to bring herself back down to earth and process what had happened.

The drive home was silent, save for the sound of the radio. It was playing a song about a love that's complicated, the melody resonating with the turmoil in her heart.