#there's more but videos take up so much space
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emmaelt · 2 days ago
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I wanted to add to this because it felt so important when I read it. @waywardwords I absolutely adore what you said!
You taking care of yourself should not be valuable based upon how much money you spend. You do not need the latest trending product to take care of yourself. You do not need a 20-step skincare routine (unless you want it and can afford it!). You don't need anyone's products or approval or permission to make yourself feel good.
If you find something that works, even if that seems to be the case only for you, do it! Let what helps help!
The idea of enrichment and caretaking is so useful also. I kind of do this, but with a video game perspective. Viewing myself as a sim with different bars for different needs has actually revolutionised my experience of being a human with corporeal form. Alexithymia, the inability to indentify emotions, is a big thing for me, but it seems to also extend to being me being unable to identify needs.
Now, if I'm feeling especially horrid - icky/gross/sad/numb etc - I take a minute to see if one of my needs is low. Sometimes my social bar is almost empty, or I haven't showered that day, or I haven't eaten in too long. It's easier, for me at least, to have this more detached perspective of my body.
Since I started doing this for my body in addition to doing this for my brain (as per my original reblog, up above), I seem to get more space in between me and the ickyness of having a human body. I used to find washing my hair extremely difficult, mainly because the sensation of wet hair gives me a visceral reaction. Now, I frame it as 'I am taking care of my hygiene need'. I have always found it really hard not to eat impulsively, and I still do massively struggle with this one, but now I not just 'filling my hunger bar' with food, but feeding myself with things that will be good for my body in the long run.
I don't know who needs to hear this, but if the phrase "self care" doesn't resonate with you, try calling it "system maintenance" and see if that clicks.
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bigbrownboots · 3 days ago
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so ever since the quizzes came out and we finally got confirmation on what the hell it is that all the other contra-elementals can do, i’ve been obsessed with the confirmation that.. Lasko is canonically super fucking powerful as a magic user, and specifically as an air elemental. here’s why: (possible tw: mention of asphyxiation as it occurs across the storyline and the Imperium briefly)
in the first video where contras are really brought up - Audio RP | Catching Up and Hanging Out With Your Himbo Friend [M4A] - Huxley uses fire elementals and fire-contras as his main example for how elementals and contras compare: he talks about how fire elementals are great at producing heat, but it takes far more effort for them to be able to take it in, and even when they do, they cannot take in much. that’s something that fire-contras are much better equipped to do, since that’s their specialty.
we already know that specialists will always be the most capable when it comes to performing their specific branch of magic, and for everyone else, that’s something they have to train and build to over time.
Lasko is an air elemental. air elementals are great at controlling air, and again, producing gusts, hurricanes, flurries of wind and such. it is specifically air-contras that specialise in taking large amounts of air in, and thus creating vacuums.
do you see where i’m going with this?
we know from what Lasko revealed about his past that, even completely untrained, he was able to completely take in all the air in a room - which he and his mother were standing in, so, presumably it was one of the main rooms in his childhood home, not just a tiny storage space or a cupboard under the stairs - Lasko managed to take out all the air in that entire room, creating a vacuum strong enough that his mother could not breathe in.
and we know that this wasn’t a one-time fluke due to his powers manifesting, because he’s still capable of performing this ability, seemingly without substancial effort. in his very first audio - Audio RP | Nervous Air Elemental Guidance Councillor Schedules Your Classes [M4A] - Lasko mentions that he “should’ve just negated all the air in the room to douse the flames” when Damien set his papers on fire, but this time decided not to, since he “can’t just suffocate him” (referring to Damien).
also, if we want to bring the Imperium storyline into this, (which i understand that technically, President Moore is a different character, but let’s say that theoretically they would be at similar power-levels - since the only way to improve your magic is by training it, and both characters started from the same parentally-established-magically-restrictive-humanborn place, and spent presumably the same amount of time at the academy) President Moore is able to take all of the air out of a room and create a vacuum able to asphyxiate a person even “through a wall,” “just as simply” (holy fuck). and, in addition to this, Vindemiator blatantly says “you’re strong, Lasko” as he’s pinning him. he has no reason to lie or to inflate (ha ha) Moore’s ego, in fact, Vindemiator is very open with how much he despises Moore, so i’m inclined to believe the powerful demon when he admits to Moore’s magical control.
but, even without considering the Imperium, i think it’s definitely something to think about. even just as an air elemental, Lasko is able to wield air-contra magic like it’s just a part of his natural skillset. Lasko Moore is a fucking powerful magic user.
- i would like to point out now that it’s entirely possible that Mr Redacted didn’t have everything fleshed out from the beginning, and that Lasko’s ability to take in air could have originally been just a part of air elementals’ capabilities, (and then with the inclusion of contras, things got divided and changed) but i think it’s fun to believe and theorise regardless.
in conclusion: holy fuck, Lasky
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messrsrarchives · 14 hours ago
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i don't want to take up too much space or add negativity here by talking about it, but i do want to touch upon it.
this fandom is difficult. it's difficult in a way it never should have been, and it is nearly impossible to engage with it interactively in a way that doesn't cause you any harm.
and i think the thing i've been coming to terms with recently, is that i can't engage with it how i have been without causing harm in a general sense - especially over on tiktok.
there's a kind of complacency at the moment. complacency in fandom etiquette yes, but the main thing is JKR, and the complacency people have fallen into when it comes to her. when it comes to the tours, the merch, the REBOOT. there's a complacency.
and it's reached a point where,,, there isn't much to do about it.
because my account there has always been talkative - i started talking over there purely to talk about my thoughts and share my interests, and it gradually became more educational. which was fine when it started, but it's not anymore. it's not when it's no longer fun for me, and when it's turned from talking about fandom to defending my place in it. to educating people on why my life matters more than official HP content.
and most discourse? i'll talk about purely because i find it interesting, and then i'll move along. but i can't move along from the reboot and general jkr stuff because i'm trans outside of fandom as well as in it.
i can talk about how it feels to be trans in this fandom right now, and then i turn my phone off, and there's bills to pay. there's increasingly high hrt prices, there's routine blood tests that the nhs won't do for my heart condition, there's a road in my town i can't walk through because someone pulled a knife on me, there's law after law after law being debated, funded, and approved, there's opportunities i've been denied and necessities i've been denied because of my identity.
and i can't turn that off.
and it gets harder to separate the two. it gets harder to separate fandom and real life when i'm coming to a place that should be a form of escapism and hearing people talk about supporting JKR, so i counteract that and explain why we shouldn't, and then i'm directly impacted once the app is closed. i can't turn that off, and i can't feel right engaging in it.
and i think that's the sad thing. i know @sophsicle did a post on this recently, but once fandom and real life start mixing, it's so much harder to engage here because we are responsible. and i can't ethically (or healthily for myself) post about this fandom on tiktok when it's to blame for the complacency we're seeing. and it is to blame. it's the comments on fancasts videos, it's the promoting of jkr's universe in random comment sections just because people "look like" the marauders, it's the reposting of the reboot or official hp pages when they talk about marauders and it's so much more and it's just,,,, impossible.
and i sound like a broken record because for MONTHS i have been talking about this. for months i have been talking about the harm this will cause and a couple of months ago i said that if things don't start changing, you're going to see creators taking steps back.
and i think the most upsetting part, is that i explain this. i explain how important this space has been for my stability and my confidence, how it has been the biggest part of my life and i don't feel comfortable anymore and,,, the majority of the messages so far are "what's going to happen to the fic rec sheet?" "should i download all the fics on your account?" "what about xyz?" etc etc
and it's just,,, content over individual. whether that's the reboot over trans people, or videos over the person, it's always content.
idk man. i don't want this to be too negative but this space needs to work on its support. it needs to stand stronger against jkr, and it needs to stop calling itself inclusive in the meantime i think.
this has been overly negative but fandom isn't. a solid 90% of my time on tiktok has been lovely. i made 18k new friends, gained so much confidence (this is the only time i've ever been able to overcome my stammer and speech impediment and that's everything), raised 7.7k for my top surgery and just,,, it's overwhelmingly positive.
my bubble is good. and the space i have crafted is safe and lovely.
but i don't feel right posting on there anymore. not when wider fandom is a big part of why JKR is suddenly back in the picture, and we can "separate her from the reboot" (we can't).
this is very long so i'll end it with this:
it does not alleviate your guilt to engage with her in a "marauders way". if anything, it is worse to do that and post about it when this space prides itself on inclusivity.
you are not reclaiming this space, you are making it harder for those at risk to engage.
and you need to take "fuck jkr" out of your bio until your actions match your words, regardless of who is casted in a reboot that shouldn't be happening in the first place.
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neristudy · 1 day ago
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Stuff that I use to study languages when i'ts a slow day, a bad brain day, or I am simply a bit sick
We simply can't give 110% every day. So, we need ways to study that don't take more than 15 minutes and are quick, convenient, and accessible from phone.
And don't get me wrong - yes, when you're sick, go sleep and rest. This post is only for the situations where you lie in bed and you feel mostly fine, and really bored, but getting out of bed makes you dizzy.
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Lesson in an app
My favorites are the one with no ads and no freemium, for this is Babbel, Clozemaster (you can read on how i use it more details here), and Flashcards - but honestly, check them all!
Write in appstore or playstore "/your language/ learning" and get all the apps that looks even a bit useful to you. Try them, delete the one that is not a vibe to you, and try new ones.
Just skip Duolingo, I beg of you. You'll have more learning by just changing language in Candy Crush or something, and the ammount of ads/money you need to pay it is really not worth it.
Youtube
Open youtube, and put on some silly little video in your target language in a background. Maybe it's gonna be Peppa Pig in German. Maybe it'll be Dead Space's cartoon in the same language. Just make sure that whenever you'll have a downtime and would wanna something on a background, it'll be in your target language.
You probably won't listen to the details anyway, but you'll pick up some phrases or rhythm of the language one way or another.
Nice tip - try searching for fandom videos in your target language. You know, you might find your new favorite channel that way! Plus, you can try turning on subtitles.
Discord language learning channels
Even 15 minutes of chatting with your friends in your target language can be a much better thing than nothing. Plus, you can whine to them a little about your misfortunes. Whining (in moderation, of course) is very useful - it will both shatter your friends' illusion that “ everybody else is doing well, but not them ” and allow you to de-stress a bit.
Remember - this is a marathon, not a race.
Anything worth doing is worth doing half-assed. Forget being perfect!~
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callum-23 · 1 day ago
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just discovered ur acc, who's ur fav character? (and yeah, this is me asking for u to rant abt ur fav)
L A N C E !!!
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Lance is my favourite!! For many reasons, but mostly because I relate to him on a lot of levels, mainly with
- self recognition issues, aka what happened when Lance doubted his skills as a paladin, and was thinking about stepping down.
I struggle with this, mostly as an artist, as I've seen my friends, and other people I know in life, have better skills, and most of the times doubting myself about my artist skills 😔 But I've gotten better at just focusing on my own art and in turn I felt like it helped me get better!!
- value in relationships, platonic, family, romantic even. I love how he values his relationships with the other paladins, about how he's always willing to take steps for others, comforting his friends, and always willing to step up as a person, even though he's cocky and can be full of himself (mostly in the earlier seasons) he's got a heart of gold underneath all that!!
Lance tends to put up this persona of himself being a "ladies man," the cocky flirt even. But there's so much more to his character than just that, he's not just the love interest, he tends to be the emotional support of others, a hard worker, he's also a pretty good well rounded character, he has his own flaws and insecurites, which help him become a better paladin throughout the show. Honestly, though, later, seasons mainly treat him as the "love interest," and I don't think that's really a way to describe him, as he's just SO much more than that!!
I love his dynamic with other characters, SO SO MUCH!
There's Hunk and Lance. They're basically best friends!! Best friends since the garrison, I love their moments together, even though it's not much, and mostly joking and small banter, but in the end they're really close friends who've always got eachothers backs, and knowing how close they are, makes them a really good team. They show their best values and bring out the best in each other!!
There's Pidge and Lance, who are more like a brother/sister duo, with Lance being like a second brother to Pidge. A moment that really stood out to me was Pidge dragging Lance along to help her find enough GAC to purchase a video game from the space mall, I love how Lance just simply went along with it, spending time with her as if she was his own sister, and in return, Pidge traded away a video game so that Allura could get a dress for her date with Lance, as Pidge knew how much this meant to him, even though she was reluctant at first!
Coran and Lance, having a father-son bond, similar to Shiro, being the guide for the paladins, acting as a father figure (space dad)
And then there's Keith and Lance, Keith and Lance, the "rivals" who compete for Np reason, who grow to accept eachother. A good example of acceptance shown between their bond is when the Black Lion had chosen Keith as the paladin, while at first, Lance was jealous, he learned to realise and proceeded to comfort Keith about his new position, showing that yes its going to he difficult, but he says to Keith that he is the one for the job, and gives him a fond look, stating that even though no one can replace Shiro, Keith can lead the team, and that he'll always be there with Keith. (Kinda cute as Lance sorta becomes his right hand man!) And the fact that Lance trusts Keith enough to get some words before his date with Allura, Lance going to Keith of all people when he was unsure about his place as a paladin, Lance even comforting Keith, and helping him during missions, being by his side, the jokes, the playful name calling. Everything, I love their dynamic!!
I love Lance as a character, sure, I'm still SUPER upset on how his life is after the events of the series, but in short, Lance, Lance McClain is my favourite vld character.
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Literally the best sharpshooter ever !! ⬆️
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esmereldapearl · 2 days ago
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Random head-cannons for PJO (again):
- Nico loves music videos— like Lady Gaga’s Paparazzi MTV performance he would love. (Maybe too because if Lady Gaga played during his stay at the casino, it might remind him of good memories with his older sister.)
- Hazel has met Bianca. I like to think that Bianca sat with her before leaving because Nico was coming to save Hazel. Like Bianca knew that was her sister the same way Nico knew— but Bianca sort of knew it would happen but wanted to meet Hazel— have a sibling relationship with Hazel. (This is leading into AU stuff) I feel like Hazel wouldn’t know until she found a random photo of her when going through some of Nico’s stuff he had as a kid.
- I feel like Will is the type of character for when something insane happens this is his reaction:
Percy: Hey man, so uh, during Harleys maze, I may or may not have broken like- two bones? One is my arm, the other is Annabeth’s ankle.
Will: *one eye twitches as he sort of half glare, half not yet still shocked* Mkay Percy.
(Like just imagine Will on his last straw, that’s how I imagine this)
- Kayla and Michael were really close. Lee and Will were also very close.
- Michael hid a safe in the infirmary that had files and stuff that he wanted hidden— also like random possessions and letters/ stuff from Lee except nobody could find it and then when they did find it nobody knew the code. Kayla did some digging and found the code. (They refused to let anybody try to break the safe or have Hermes cabin try to pick the lock)
- I have quite a few headcannons for Kayla even though she hasn’t been seen much throughout the books. I feel like one of the bigger ones I have is that she has two older siblings who are twins- very random, but she doesn’t really have a cannon backstory (yet?).
- Once the Apollo cabin realizes that Nico has not seen like— a lot of pop culture stuff and Disney movies, they force him to watch a lot of them.
- Everyone, including Nico, forgets that Nico was born in like the 1930/1940s until they bring up some big historical fact and he’s like:
Will: Ya’ll up for watching this rocket take off? You can see it from our cabin, it’s gonna go to the moon.
Nico: What do you mean to the moon?
Will: ??? Wait do you not know about the moon landing?
Nico: PEOPLE HAVE GONE TO SPACE???
(This is the only historical event I could think of for some reason)
- Nico would 100% love video games and love like a 3DS
- Hazel cusses— like a lot— mostly when she’s annoyed/angry though.
- Frank is good with younger campers. He likes to reassure them that it’ll be okay and try’s to make them laugh
- Nico is less emo/dark and more just- random? I don’t think he has a set style, nor do I think he’s gloomy— I think of him more like a combo of Sam and Sebastian from Stardew Valley.
- Nico likes to hangout in the infirmary and goof off with Kayla and Austin. Will’s glad they get along
- Lee or Michael had set a rule where you can’t hang from the beams in the ceiling— Kayla disregards the rule quite a bit.
- Will 100% has a southern accent— not like a full blown accent but it mixes with his daily speech. Like specific words and phrases bring the accent back.
- Hazel and Nico like to draw— both have completely different styles though, and Nico draws more often while Hazel experiments with art.
- Hazel (and Nico) likes to visit Nico and talk to her brother often- so they hangout like once a month and talk very often. I feel like after Leo would create some device/adapter to make it so monsters wouldn’t attack every time you sent a text, they’d text more often than Iris message. (Ik not everyone has the best relationships w/their siblings but my sister and I are like this so I promise I’m speaking from experience lol) like every piece of gossip/major event, every “what would you do in this situation”, etc
Hazel: OMG NICO
Nico: WHAT???
Hazel: PERCY AND ANNABETH ARE ENGAGED— YOU’LL NEVER BELIEVE HOW.
Nico: OH GODS.
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skeletalheartattack · 1 month ago
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hi I like gelato a lot
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#ask#anon#hi anon. sorry that i used this opportunity to talk about the sims 2 console port#ive had this template made and didn't use it for much besides a few jokes to send to friends#but i think it's on par for Gelato to be this knowledgeable about one of his favourite games.#but yeah basically i grew up with the xbox version of Sims 2 and since the xbox was my brothers console. i didnt get to play it a whole lot#and years later i bought the sims 2 on PS2 and noticed a lot of slowdown on actions and stuff#and the golden bolt (i think thats their youtube name) did a video about the console ports of sims 1 & 2 games#and i was kinda confused hearing them talk about how the sims 2 only had one save file (on PS2) because the xbox version had like eight#and so that. paired with me looking through the cutting room floor page of the sims 2#i was kinda curious to see if the xbox version really performed as bad as it does on the ps2 version#because the golden bolt was also talking about that in their coverage of the ports#and so like again. there's only two videos on youtube that I could find of the xbox version#and the ones uploaded by IGN run on the ps2 version. because of the fucking button prompts they show on screen#anyway. so like thankfully one of the only other xbox videos showcased making a sim. and it's. so much fucking faster than the ps2 version#like on the ps2 version. you'd select a hairstyle. wait 5-10 seconds. and then the hair changes and you get the ui element to customize it#press cancel and you wait 5-10 seconds to revert back to your previous hairstyle#on the xbox version though? it's so much fucking faster#i haven't checked gameplay of the gamecube version but ik that speedrunners use specifically just that version of the port?#im not sure why only because i havent done the research to check what's better about the gamecube version#granted. i have to get around to getting an original xbox controller at some point to prove it for myself that the xbox port runs the best#i know it probably wont be perfect due to the disk having a few scratches. but its gotta beat my ps2 copy#im also curious to see how many save files i used. because im almost certain i used like 6-7 of them#just because i kept creating new story modes with almost identical alien sims with mohawks#in my last playthrough. i think i broke that tradition and gave my sim a flatter haircut. i also forget if i made him an alien or not.#i havent played it in a year due to getting my computer and it taking up the space i used for my crt setup#anyway. hi anon. sorry about that. im happy you like Gelato :)#i genuinely love him so much ever since Helper sketched him up. like she absolutely nailed it. literally couldn't ask for anything better#and writing up stuff for him has honestly made me love him so much more#thank you for the ask anon!! :)
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moomeecore · 3 months ago
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on that subject, obsessed with today when i was like "hey guys, can you two stop playing the jumping game for now because it's giving caden a headache" and my 6 yr old cousin is like "you mean 'me'. it's giving 'me' a headache, because your caden". it's like yeah man ur right. my bad . and then they stopped jumping. it was awesome
#the thing is like. the jumping hurt my headright away#but i let them do it for a while before they told them to stop. and then they did#and i think thats part of it too. for somw things you have to wait and let kids have whay they want for a while before swooping in and#asking for them to stop#so they dont feel super controlled#and like. as an autistic person I HAVE TO DO THAT ANYWAY USUALLY#there's so many adult people out there who i have to put up witj their noises because i KNOW if i ask for them to stop theyll get mad#or even on a lesser extent. like as an autistic person w my sorta issues. you have to a let a lot of things go that are genuenly painful#and stressful. bc if u ask people to do things too much they often get upset. even if theyre overall nice#same with kids#but with kids you get to ask them to stop way more and you get to ask earlier than you would with most adults#like. ill be trying to put up with somethinf and struggling and get to the ppont where im visibly shaking and stuttering and on the verge#of tears#and the mere request of 'could you turn the tv ofd#still gets whole ass adults telling me im entitled and bossy#meanwhile child will hear 'thats making me feel bad' and theyll hear that and theyll think about it#and often times theyll stop#and even when they dont they dont insult you!#and people still say little kids are annoying????#when i tell a little kid 'could you turn the sound off on the video game or take it to another room the sounds its making are upsetting me#they LISTEN.#adults have a strong tendency to#use the ironicallt imature logic of ' i like this thing. so it dosent matter if it is upsetting you. i like it so i want to have it. even#though we are in a shared space together. i wont change what im doing because i want to do the thing i like. and thats more important than#not upsetting you. because doing the thing i like makes ME feel good.'#like. litterallt this mindset is easily more promient in adults than small children 100% . on god#and its just about the most childish thing ever.#its understandable. but its immature#and with something this simple its silly people cant let that go. its not complex at all. its stop making noise it is hurting me. easy
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milomaxxy · 3 months ago
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Fucking childfree people complaining about parents not "shutting their kids up" or staying out of public have got to be the most idiotic group I've ever seen.
Like, you do realize parents don't have 100% control over their kid(s)... especially their fucking EMOTIONS?? Right??? You do realize that asking parents to DO THIS is emotional abuse and/or emotional manipulation, right???
You realize telling parents that they should keep their kid(s) home bc they're "yelling they want to be at home" isn't a fucking option for A LOT of people? Kids screaming at the grocery store don't want to be there bc they're bored and don't understand that their parents HAVE TO get groceries. Kids wHiNiNg about being out are doing so bc they're fucking DEVELOPING and LEARNING, and you want their parents to shut them inside all the fucking time just so they don't annoy YOU?
You realize that children NEED to be out in public spaces, even if they don't necessarily "want to" so that they can actually fucking develop into society? You realize that kids can swing from "this is the best day ever" to total meltdown with banshee wailing in less than a fucking minute? You realize that everybody has to do things they don't like to do, and that keeping them home 24/7 is setting them up for failure when they DO eventually have to leave (i.e. when they have to go to school or when they grow up and have to go to the store)? You realize that children can't fucking protect themselves and that you complaining about them being in public is fucking weird???
Gotta be the most fucking boomer-ass idiotic fucking shit I've seen today. And yet they're the same fucking crowd telling people who homeschool their kids that they're ruining their children's social lives. The same fucking group telling parents that they can't take their kids out unless it's specifically children-oriented places. The same fucking people saying "everyone wants to act like children are stupid and censor everything" are the ones that are fucking CAUSING it- bc gods forbid they see a kid not being coddled, then you're neglectful.
I am so sick of people who have NO FUCKING HORSE IN THIS RACE telling parents how they need to fucking raise their kids. I'm so sick of seeing people say "idc what the reason is, if you do xyz and have a baby you shouldn't have a baby" (most recently was about fucking taking babies on air planes 🙄 as if there's never been a reason someone needed to fly with a baby). I'm so exhausted seeing people who don't KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT CHILDREN accusing parents of neglect and abuse bc they think kids never fucking cry (seriously, look up the purple cry if you believe babies don't cry for no reason) unless they're being neglected or abused. I'm so exhausted with people who have ZERO FUCKING EXPERIENCE around kids AT ALL telling me, someone who is not only a parent but has been raising kids SINCE I WAS FUCKING EIGHT, that I don't know what I'm talking about when I say that some kids are just louder, have more needs, or are just "extra". Fucking people who have NO FUCKING KNOWLEDGE about an entire fucking demographic that WE ALL START OUT AS has got to be the most willfully ignorant bullshit out there
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bibimbinge · 3 months ago
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tired of being called inconsiderate and rude the second I say something thats not exactly in a nice tone when my brain is working 3× more to be considerate of everyone and everything else 99% of the time.
#i feel like im actually going insane#my own sister backs up her husband (who i now see in a different light ((negative)) over me#and I was understanding at first. fine. maybe I do need to pick up after myself more maybe i am messy#and my friends and family even told me that because theyve brought it up so many times now maybe i am the problem and thats okay#so i. like yeah. okay i take up too much space. i'll step back. i stay out more. i'll clean my dishes right after i use them#i already do all that#and then today she DOES IT AGAIN!! and i broke down cause she basically said this is the last warning#you need to start looking for a new place (ive been saving up PENNIES for years. it'll take 3 full months of salary to even rent a ROOM)#it took me even longer cause i was unemployed for 6 months and had to use EVERYTHING I HAD SAVED#and i gave up. im back at home and i gave in. i took a video of my room and the living room and asked my friend#is there really anything else i have to do because i am TIRED AND I CANT SEE WHATS WRONG AND WHATS MESSY PLEASE#because fuck i feel like im actually INSANE cause the way my sister has been wording it to me its like im so messy#and my friend just replies..... i am so sorry for ever being on your sisters side because you are not messy at all#and the RELIEF i felt. the weight off my shoulders LIFTED OFF INSTANTLY#IM NOT CRAZY!!! IM NOT MESSY!! IM HUMAN AND NORMAL#im just so upset right now cause it just dawned on me that.... not a single person in my famiy has my back the way i have theirs#not even my own sister.... and im tired.#personal
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arklay · 2 years ago
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WIP DAY.
tagged by @girlbosselrond @morvaris @aartyom @risingsh0t @phillipsgraves @leviiackrman @indorilnerevarine & @denerims over the past month! sorry it's taken me so long to get to anything at all, i'm sure you guys have heard me address it enough, but thank you all so much for continuing to tag me in things while i've been inactive ♡
tagging @aelyosos @brujah @calenhads @florbelles @jendoe @lightwardens @liurnia @nokstella @nuclearstorms @shadowsofrose @shellibisshe @steelport @swordcoasts @wrymbloods @voerman & all of those who tagged me again cause i'm so behind + anyone else who'd like to share anything they're working on, not just writing! ♡
i haven't written anything since the last wip game i did, but i started trying to put diana's timeline together at the start of january, so i mean... i'll show that instead. as you can see, fatigue hasn't let me do much with it even though i've got all of her timeline already done and strewn about all over the place.
started with 1995 onwards cause it was originally going to be an ewskers timeline situation, but then wanted to include all of her backstory so i went back to the start and still have the late 80s and early 90s to get through before then, but yeah :]
it's going to include like all little moments i've thought of between the ewskers just for me and placing them on the timeline, so you can imagine how long this is going to get if i have to go to 2021 for village... like just 1996-1998 is going to be so much... she's very special to me if you couldn't tell already lmaoo
never sharing this though, it's just for me, and like will help for when i do her timeline page (more in-depth version of what's on her oc page) to just run through canon events and brief descriptions and whatnot. you understand.
everything is blurred out besides 1995 ewskers momence and the years, just cause like idk her i feel weird sharing her in-depth backstory unless it's in dms or something, just cause there's lots going on there and yeah. things. idk
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i also made a carrd for twt if you wanna have a look at that :] there's some cheeky subtle things with the two resi items i used as pics hehe
actually, you know what, i'll give a lil bit from where i left of with that rewrite anyways, even though it's been months since i wrote it. but why not
Wesker left a fleeting kiss behind her ear then reached around her and hooked his fingers beneath her coat, prompting Diana to glance back at him. But all he did was gently pull it from her shoulders. She watched him from out of the corner of her eye as he hung it up on the rack by the door, his movements careful and almost calculated, until he turned back towards her, and the warmth of his body returned once more. He pressed up against her side this time, as opposed to her back, and one of his hands found a home on her waist. The way the arm it belonged to was resting firmly against her as he began leading her towards the kitchen was comforting, secure, yet unmistakably possessive. And she revelled in it. He had quite the knack for handling her just the way she wanted.
#tag games.#keep going to do picrews and just zoning out 😭 i'm so behind on literally everything but it's fine it's okay (lying)#i'm having a day and a half even though i woke up feeling okay but oh well. my last month has just been like watching videos during the day#or playing games when i have a bit more energy but like i can't do anything that requires me to actually read or write things like words#are just not computing in my brain at the moment but it's okay like i'm just exhausted and hoping soon i can get back to writing because i#still have over 30 wips going lmao but yeah it's been a time a half with lots of appointments and seeing specialists again and trying to#sort things out. i've been more active on twitter which i've mentioned before but it's just because like it's easier for me to sort of just#like and rt things and not having to do my organisation tags and things like i know that sounds so just small and simple but that's how#i've been lately like to my brain rn that seems like a really big task. so i just keep coming on here randomly for a few minutes then#disappearing so i'm sorry that i've definitely missed so much and i haven't been around to just show my appreciation and love to your#creations!! also just everything that happened in december and then a bit at the start of january too like i'm just a lil paranoid about#being on here honestly so i'm trying to get back to it and be okay with posting again and i'm going to make a promise to myself to actually#filter more tags i think? just to help me with like not exposing myself to things that do make me feel uncomfortable in any way!! i'm#rambling now but sorry sometimes i just need to lmaooo idk but yes so cute lil subtle things from my carrd i wanna talk about cause why not#i didn't have to change the blue herb from re0 besides making it brighter because it's already teal toned which is so sexy but i shifted#the hue on the spade key like SLIGHTLY like it was so little. but anyways. i use this emoji ✨ on my twitter name and yes cause sparkles but#also. three stars. the s.t.a.r.s. badge and logo :] then blue herb because i will have no poison in my safe space!!!! take a blue herb or#leave please!! only good vibes and safe space here!! spade key because i'm ace <3 i was going to include the diamond one in there as well#because am demiro and like those are the symbols in the community. ace of spades for ace. diamond for demis (both orientations)#but wasn't sure how to weave the pink through the rest of the carrd even though cyan and pink together is so pretty omg
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littlespoonevan · 9 months ago
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genuinely think i would make a killing on youtube doing wardrobe organisation/clear outs
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pepprs · 2 years ago
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having the issues i have is literally exhausting. like why do the miseries have to be ceaseless and the horrors unending.
#purrs#idk if im swaddling my inner child or str*ngling her (sorry) but she needs to stop crying bc my GOD i can’t keep living like this. my counse#counselor literaly told me i could get fired if i end up working somewhere else (🤨👊💥) and don’t heal AJD it’s like ok you’re right but also#shut up don’t fucking say that. but he is also so right like i can’t keep living like this. i was anxious and agitated all day and it’s good#that no one noticed but also like it takes so much energy just to sit in one place and do my work and respond to the stimuli and not start a#sobbing and howling. i hate this shitty fucking situation i want it to be over so i never have to feel this helpless again but im feeling pr#pretty helpless right now mutuals. i am feeling pretty helpless and i also cannot breathe because the elephants are taking up too much space#and i mean that in more ways than one. i don’t even have the energy to play video games rn like literally all i want to do is sleep. omg#still not as bad or in as bad a place as last week. and thank god i have not been dizzy since friday. but this is really pushing my limit. l#like im scared my heart is gonna give out from pounding so hard and i was trying to do affirmations w mysef and talk myself through the#logic and it didn’t work really and im like 😐 plus like almost every triggering / upsetting kind of situation that can happen has happened#today and i haven’t flipped out abt it it’s been more like slowly chipping away at me and.. i am at my fucking limit. i need to sit in a#sensory deprivation tank. and i also need to get married and/or a phd immediately. and i also need a lobotomy.
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stuck-in-the-ghost-zone · 1 year ago
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painting a mackerel today :]
#taking a break from digital art for a bit bc my computer is fucked up#so im getting around to finally painting a bunch of little ceramic things ive got laying around#ive got...m tiny glow in the dark ghost..... fish that i am going 2 make into a mackerel.... mushrooms in a lil terrarium#:]#going 2 make mackerel part of my brand more. theyre so pretty#i finally got to the zora in the totk playthru im watching and i looove them so much#i want 2 draw a mackerel zora#u know how. youtubers will sometimes draw themselves/have people draw them as characters in the game theyre playing for thumbnails#randomly got like. the impulse to dothat for myself earlier#god. would love 2 make youtube videos someday. when i havemy own space again and money to afford a non-laptop computer#i wanna be a mackerel zora!!!!!!!!!!!!#i think i wanna make myself a little logo sometime#like.... if i actually am serious abt making sellable art one day (which i would LOVE to do btw)#i wanna.... have a little ghost/mackerel combination logo#like a fish whos body turns to bones halfway down or something. idk. im not super good at concepts like that but i wanna try#im not a graphic design person but... man.. would love 2 have a little guy#idk its ramble time today#having a lot of feelings abt art. pride made me feel things abt being sn artist#i wanna make stuff like that. i wanna be able to sell things like that.#have a little booth i can decorate with moss and mushrooms and fish and ghosts and things. make it Mine.#and make stuff that ppl think is cool. man. idk#head in hands. i have so much work to do
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pizzapizzadickz · 2 years ago
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#yeah! ill do thing#haha. i cant do anything today muchless feed myself#i cant fuction#personal#diary#i want to make a late or an espresso and theres nothing cleared off like my mom said it would so now idk what to do#i went from good morning to near meltdown in .5 seconds huh?#this is why i dont like it when someone says then tries to shut me up and doesnt do thing#like??? i didnt care id u cleared off infront of my espresso tbing that takes 5 seconds. but a peice of countertop???#yeah idk where i could even put anything#so yeah now i dont know what to do and am in pure stuck mode. bc i dont have space to make food either.#honestly i just hate everything so much. i hate life so much. im so tired i dont like this.#*david Attenborough voice* now look at this creature. utterly incapable of functioning without coffee. how useless.#ugh. seriously though. if i can just get through a morning and make coffee i can generally be more okay than i would otherwise#do you know how much it fucking sucks just waking up and being like#ugh. like i know this is probably in part bc i should be getting my period soon. but. its days like today i sorta wish i was dead#suicidal ideation#like. what am i supposed to do when it feels like the whole world is hostile. like. just one deviation from my plan and i cant handle ti#idk. it sucks really. im honestly not even asking for much anymore. i just wish i could at least play video games really.#if i could at least do that it wouldnt feel like such torture just existing. idk. i just want one thing.#idk. i know a lot of this is hormonal but even that sucks! why the fuck do i have to live like this.#idk. im really tired. really really tired. i still have to do work too this week. and honestly im so tired.#while i really do enjoy doing things n life n shit. i hate that like 90% of my life is just suffering. just pure suffering#...and yes i am wishing i am dead or something simply bc i couldnt make a latte like i planned#and no i will not be able to make myself breakfast now either. my morning is ruined now. so im unable to function#ugh. i just wanted to have a nice coffee and play splatoon today. but instead i got a nice case of yet again#idk. id be okay if there was just. nothing expected of me. if i didnt have to feed myself or work or shit.#like. me not wanting to exist is mostly just bc of the inconvenience i cause everyone around me#i have to be careful of what i say careful of what i do make sure i never bother anyone.#and so i just quietly cant functiom over here in a corner. just ugh. usually i can tidy shit up myself
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psychiclounge · 14 days ago
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hmmmm. I think more fm gifsets today
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