#there's literally like almost 20 im gonna die

[sinnamongirls]

ALL NATURAL, CHAPTER ONE: drop the game.

a 2016 college au patrick zweig x f!reader fic

you’re a reporter for the stanford daily forced to cover a speech and debate tournament. lucky for you, there’s a really hot nerd there.

author notes: this is literally the first time I’ve published fanfic since middle school eek! but im really proud of this one heheh even though it is incredibly long (the next chapter will be shorter I swear)

contains: mentions of alcohol, suggestive language, dual pov’s (patrick and reader), reader is afab and uses she/her pronouns, but no physical traits are described.

“Speech and debate? Seriously? Kendall, come on.”

Kendall just rolled their eyes at you. It was 10 am, and you, the Stanford Daily’s head general coverage reporter, were already pissed.

It was Kendall’s fault, really.

If they’d given you the co-executive editor position, they wouldn't be dealing with your smart ass complaining about assignments every time you got one.

Last year, you were quiet as a church mouse, never complaining with the previous editor about your assignments.

But the last editor wasn’t your childhood best friend, turned roommate and coworker. The last editor was a bitch, frankly. And you both were a year closer to graduating. So you really cared about what you were writing.

And you weren’t a sports person, or an editorial person. You liked campus, the hustle and bustle of it all. And that meant covering it all, even the lame ass stuff like speech and debate.

“Don’t complain. I won’t give you anything if you keep it up.” It was a lie. You both knew it.

“But.. speech and debate? Seriously?”

“It needs coverage, and it’s too far off campus for me or the advisors to feel comfortable sending an underclassman. You have that much of an issue, take it up with Nadine or Lucas.”

You huffed.

“Fine.” Walking out of the editor’s office of the Stanford Daily, letting the door slam behind you, you sighed. First issue of junior year, and your article’s on fucking speech and debate. At least it wasn’t Model UN.

You looked at your phone. Class was in 20 minutes, and the building you needed to be in was 10 minutes away. Time to hustle.

“Okay, remember: first exam next Monday, you all are gonna crush it if you study!” Dr. Abernathy’s voice was so high, most times she sounded like a chipmunk, especially when you were walking out of the lecture hall after hearing her voice for almost two hours twice a week. But, she was the only one who taught media psychology, so there wasn’t much of a choice. The midterm, however, had you worried. There was a saying in the Stanford journalism program: pass any of Phoebe Abernathy’s exams, buy a Powerball ticket immediately.

That mantra had found its home on a sticky note on your bedroom mirror for the whole summer. Preparing you. Kendall thought it was stupid, but Kendall also considered themselves president of the Dr. Phoebe Abernathy fan club. It was a stupid club, with one member: Kendall Jefferson-Mcall.

Walking back to your car, you checked your texts. There were about 10 from Kendall. Your assignment for tonight: where it was, what needed to be photographed, and who needed to be interviewed. You skimmed it while walking, making sure not to walk straight into traffic.

One of the interviewees' names rang a bell in your head. It was a distant one, though, because you couldn’t tell where you knew it from:

Patrick Zweig, co-captain. Junior. Pre-law. You’ll know him when you see him.

“Really helpful, Kendall.” Muttering as you climb into the car, you stare at the text for a while. Then you see the time. The tournament was at Berkeley, so you needed to hustle back to your apartment and get ready.

Berkeley was full of cunts.

Grade A, top tier, cunts.

Patrick would rather die than debate them. They’d been shit since Patrick had joined the speech and debate team. His freshman year was the year Berkeley won the national championship, and they had never let it go. And it got to Stanford pretty bad— they’d lost every time they’d competed against Berkeley since Patrick was a freshman.

It was annoying as hell, and every time they had to travel to Berkeley for a debate, Patrick wanted to die.

Seriously, he’d considered faking sick, or taking a whole bottle of Benadryl before.

But, he’d finally convinced Tashi and Art to make the hour journey to Berkeley to watch him. They supported him when they had tournaments at Stanford, sure, but any tournament that required driving more than 30 minutes? Forget it.

Patrick Zweig was more than Stanford’s men’s tennis star. A whole lot more. Co-captain of the speech and debate team, vice president of his fraternity, Phi Iota Chi, member of the Pre-Law Society, and one of the best students in his class.

But deep down, a part of him hated people knowing that he was smart. He liked being the hot athlete in the top frat on campus. High school was his time to be smart- he was valedictorian, student body president.

College was his time to be the best at tennis, get shit faced, and generally, have fun.

His dad did it, and that’s how he became one of the best real estate lawyers in Upstate New York.

But he still found himself pacing the green room in Wheeler Auditorium, wondering if he should stop dumbing himself down in front of normal people, be more proud of his intelligence, and accomplishments.

But day drinking on the weekends was way more fun, and didn’t require thinking, for the most part.

“Pssst, Zweig,” It was his teammate, Samira. She’d cracked the door open, peeking her head in. Patrick turned to look at her— she had a new hijab on- cardinal red. Samira was Stanford, as far as Patrick was concerned. That girl bled school spirit. She was ready to kick Berkeley’s ass. “We’re on in 5 minutes, you wanna prep with me, or are you good?”

Patrick shook his head. “I’m fine, I think.” He wasn’t, but he couldn’t let Samira know, or she’d flip out, and Samira being emotional would fuck up their entire strategy against Berkeley.

“Good, good, I’m glad. See you in five.” She smiled, and shut the door. Patrick let out a long, exasperated sigh once the door was shut.

“Fuck.” Patrick really, really needed a win. Not just a speech and debate one, but a win in general.

Wheeler auditorium was massive. The biggest auditorium on UC Berkeley’s campus, it was also the oldest, and it was a national historic landmark.

That made up for the hour-long drive across the bay.

You studied the people in the room, trying to spot the best places to get pictures of the action. Good thing you had a press pass, because there were a lot of ugly looks. Surprisingly, the auditorium was pretty full on both sides, and you could’ve sworn you saw Tashi Duncan and Art Donaldson sitting on Stanford’s side. But you put that aside, as the action was starting.

4 people took the stage: two from each school- you could tell who was who- the girl and guy from Berkeley both wore outfits with blue and gold. And then Stanford’s team came out: a woman, about 5’5” in a modest black dress with a cardinal red hijab, and a tall, toned man with curly black hair, dressed in a perfectly tailored suit. He stood at the right podium, closer to the back of the stage. The woman stood closer to the stage's edge. You could read her name clearly from where you were crouched on the floor: Samira Hadi.

You couldn’t quite tell what his name tag said, though.

The debate was interesting, all things considered. You resisted the urge to scroll on your phone in the middle of it when it got boring.

But at the very least, Stanford won. So it wasn’t a total waste of your Monday night.

Patrick was pretty sure he blacked out when he heard the words “First place, Stanford University!” Come out of the announcer's mouth.

He snapped out of it when he felt Samira bear hug him, the weight of her body (he was pretty sure she did powerlifting or something, she was jacked) and the smell of her vanilla musk perfume brought him down to earth. If Samira drank, Patrick would buy her as many drinks as she wanted tonight.

But as Samira hugged him, jumping up and down from excitement, he noticed someone in the front row. Well, in front of the front row.

Dressed in business casual, she was out of place— usually Patrick saw the same 20 people in the crowd for his tournaments. But then he saw the reason for this, incredibly attractive, outlier: a shiny Stanford Daily press badge dangling from your neck.

Aha. It made sense. He figured you were either a poor freshman forced to trek to Berkeley for their first assignment, or an overworked upperclassman fed up with the paper.

But just as quickly as Patrick saw you, you were gone.

And Samira had drug him back to the green room, where Tashi and Art were waiting, with flowers no less.

“Guys, really?” Patrick feigned being upset at them. He could never. They were good friends. He didn’t mind being their third wheel. Honestly, he didn’t have a choice: Tashi was Phi Chi’s sweetheart, and Art was the vice president of membership education, so the world of Phi Chi and Patrick’s friend group got a little incestuous. In a good way, though. Tashi sat the flowers down on a table behind her, and hugged Patrick. Tashi was wearing her favorite green satin dress, and like always, it fit her perfectly. Art wore a basic black suit, but it looked good on him, too. That was the thing- Patrick may have been a legacy of Phi Iota Chi, but he used it for good, like making sure every single member has at least one perfectly tailored suit.

Because Patrick, and Patrick’s father, hated a sloppy suit.

“We had to, hell, Tashi was gonna give them to you even if you lost.” Art smiled as he handed Patrick the flowers. They were the high-dollar grocery store ones- a sign it really was Tashi’s idea- she worked part time in the flower department at the Whole Foods by campus. Patrick looked at Tashi.

“You made this bouquet, didn’t you?” Tashi gave him a sly smile in response.

Samira lingered by the door, but a knock, and the muttering of one of their coaches caused her to leave, leaving the green room to just be Patrick, Art, and Tashi.

The dim lighting of the hallway was honestly kind of eerie, but the main auditorium area was filled with loud, butt-hurt Berkeley fans, and that’s no place for an interview.

“Can you say and spell your full name, your class, and your position on the team for me?” The recorder rested in your hand at about chest level for you and Samira.

“Samira, S-A-M-I-R-A, Hadi, H-A-D-I. Senior, Captain of Stanford’s Speech and Debate Team.”

“Thank you. So, this win against Berkeley, I know it’s been a long time coming, right?”

“Yeah, yeah, it has. They won at Nationals back in 2014, and they haven’t let us, or anyone really, live it down. So it’s very fulfilling for the entire team.”

You looked behind Samira’s shoulder at the green room door. You know the guy on Stanford’s team was in there. But when Samira was pulled out of the room by the team’s faculty advisor, you could hear some other voices in there- another male voice, and maybe a female one, too.

She could tell you were looking back there, but didn’t say anything. You continued the interview, and after the recorder clicked off, Samira spoke.

“You need to interview him?” Even though you knew it was coming, the question caught you off guard.

“Huh?” You replied.

“If you need a quote from him, I can go grab him.” She never said his name, which you found odd. But maybe Kendall was right, maybe you’d know ‘him’ when you saw him.

“N-no, I think I’m okay. I got 2 quotes from you and from your faculty advisor. I think I’m good.”

“Okay. If you don’t need anything else, I’m gonna head out before it gets too dark.” Samira smiled, and walked off. You were standing in the hallway, alone.

You looked at your watch. It was around 8:30 now. You needed to head back too. If you didn’t, Kendall would think you’d died.

By the time you got back across the bay and back to your apartment, it was 9:30. You opened the door to your apartment, and there Kendall was, sitting on the couch.

“Hey, how’d it go?” They were sprawled out on the couch in their PJs, a bowl of guacamole on the coffee table and a bag of chips by their side. Some shitty Lifetime movie was playing softly on the TV.

You dropped your keys on the entryway table, bending down to take your kitten heels off. “It was okay.”

“Get good quotes? Good pictures?”

“Yeah, I got good material. You can look at it tomorrow.”

“Okay, good. Did you see him?”

“Who?” You cocked your head to the side, sighing as you stood flat footed on the cold hardwood floor.

“Patrick, dipshit. I figured you’d drool all over him.”

So he was Patrick. That name sounded familiar to you, but you couldn’t place it.

“I mean, I saw him. I got pictures of him, b-but he had friends visiting him after the competition, I think. He was in the green room, I couldn’t get a quote. But I got a quote from Samira and the faculty advisors.”

Kendall nodded, popping a guac covered chip in their mouth. “Good enough, thanks, babe.” The two of you had called each other babe since junior year of high school. It was a great way to piss off anyone who thought the two of you were dating.

“Yeah. What are you watching?” You studied the TV screen. The volume was turned down, but you could see women yelling passionately, and a very scared, blood-covered man behind them.

“Some Lifetime true crime movie, I dunno. I watched Miss Congeniality, and Pretty Woman, then settled on… This. It’s honestly trash.”

“Why not watch Housewives?”

“Didn’t wanna watch it without you. Plus, it was a rerun of DC, so.”

“Oh, ew.”

You walked over to the fridge, grabbing a cold bottle of water out, and then headed towards the couch, sitting next to Kendall. They switched the channel to Bravo, where you were both greeted by another scene of two women screaming at each other. It was the glorious world of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, and the two of you watched at least 2 hours worth of toxic, shitty reality TV, until you checked the time and noticed it was almost midnight.

“I have class at 9 in the morning, I need to head to bed.” You yawned, standing up. Kendall turned the TV off. They looked up at you, their green eyes twinkling in the warm lighting of your shared living room.

“Okay, grandma. You have fun with that.” Kendall turned their phone on, typing rapidly. You envied them, in a way. They didn’t have class until 3pm tomorrow, but they still spent most of the day working on the paper. Busy busy bee.

“Goodnight, Kendall,” you called out as you walked into your bedroom.

“Night, bitch.” They replied from the couch. You shut your bedroom door, sighing.

You resisted the urge to stalk Patrick on instagram. He definitely had a girlfriend. He was good looking.

But why did you know his name?

Your phone lit up with a notification. A reminder of an assignment due tomorrow. It was your sign to go to bed.

You could stalk Patrick tomorrow. Consider it research while you write your article tomorrow.

Tonight, you needed to rest.

So you changed into your pajamas, crawled into bed, and fell asleep. And dreamt of him.

When Samira left the green room, Tashi broke her silence.

“Wanna go out?”

“Fuck yes.” Art and Patrick replied.

So the three musketeers drove back across the bay, went to some bar on the edge of Stanford’s campus, and got royally shitfaced, resulting in Art getting a pledge to drive the three back to the Phi Chi house.

Being a fraternity executive team member had it's perks. Living in the house was one of them.

Patrick told Tashi and Art goodnight, and headed down the hall to his room.

The whole time they were out, he couldn’t shake the face of the reporter from the Daily out of his head.

And to make matters worse, he didn’t have a name to go with a face.

Shit.

His head started throbbing, and he took that as his sign to go to bed.

He wondered if Tashi knew her.

Tashi knew everyone.

But he fell asleep before he could think about asking Tashi about you.

He may or may not have woken up the next morning, dealing with the aftermath of a wet dream and a next-level hangover. You woke up perfectly fine, ready to face the day.

Some would say that’s a match made in heaven. But we’re not there yet.

[foccaccia]

i like the Hunger Games a lot but im always gonna be a little bitter it took off when her Underland Chronicles never did. those books were so good and so fucked up. snippets of spoilers for a 20 year old book series for middle schoolers ahead:

cockroaches the size of horses who talk and are actually super chill and great babysitters for human toddlers. these books are the only reason i dont have nightmares about cockroaches anymore

cannibalism happens a lot. at one point a rat the size of a bison says "man go ahead and eat your dead friend, we wont judge" to a spider, who then proceeds to eat her dead friend. everyone but the rat judges.

another rat, who is still relatively a baby, is found later eating his babysitter's liver in an attempt to hide the body.

dude, pandoras death was so fucked up. "wow an island! im starving im gonna have a snack. brb guys" flies a little bit over, is immediately devoured in seconds by bugs and her skeleton crashes into the jungle below

plague book! humans try to commit genocide and blame it on bugs

hey. hey eleven year old. kill this tiny baby screaming for his mother. he sounds just like your baby sister you think just died horribly. kill this baby with a sword. you didnt? you didnt kill a sobbing baby who watched his mother die? we're putting you on trial for treason and will execute you

baby rat gone insane, now 15' tall and leading an army, ripping the head off of his friend/gaslighter, immediately heartbreakingly asking where she went, and then finding the head and accusing a twelve year old boy of doing it

dude gregor is eleven and in the first book willingly leaps off a cliff to his death (despite it being his worst fear) in the hopes itll stop his two year old sister boots from being graphically torn apart and eaten, like he has seen happen to others

thalia's death. they dont just kill unnamed children (they do absolutely kill a lot of unnamed babies onscreen) they also kill beloved named children

"the fireflies had to gnaw ares' claw off of his corpse bc you wouldnt let go of your friends claw. its been almost three weeks and the viscera has dried and glued it to your grip. we cant get it off without breaking your finger. you gotta let go of your friends corpse, twelve year old boy"

twitchtip.

forcing the twelve year old into a prophesied battle where he will die, and making him dissociate so hard for months he blankly allows others to make him cause/be complicit in war crimes

HAHA HEY THE SAPIENT, INTELLIGENT MICE DYING BY THE HUNDREDS SUFFOCATING ON POISON GAS WHILE A TODDLER SINGS A NURSERY SONG ABOUT THE MICE DYING.

the six year old boy losing literally everyone hes ever known and cared for over and over again

just so much violent gore and death for middle schoolers, man. i love it.

hey that was objectively a good and well done ending. and i also loved it. but "hey gregor my husband was in the war. he had ptsd that will never go away just like you" hey hes twelve :( someone help him

prim's death in the hunger games has nothing on the shit collins pulled in the underland chronicles this is like a tiny chunk please read them

[alastair-1205]

EPISODE 20 REACTIONS FUCKING FINALLY I think I hurt my wrist typing all this ngl. Holy fuck this show-

I am very scared :D 

At least they can still kick ass 

Cinder just cannot stop beating up Euphrasia damn

Stick!

OK SO LOOSING POWERS DOES HAVE AN EFFECT ON YOU THEN 

Im not normal about elemental powers 

Oh no Robie don’t get murdered-

He has the right idea tho with the cup thing

Zane is trying his fucking best rn lol 

Arin is not having any of it 

Oh shit yea they don’t know…all of that other stuff yet huh

THEYRE BACK NICE

Wdym captured by them?? Wtf happened to those two

Cinder is going to kill someone I stg 

LMAO respect where it’s due, that was funny

Robie îs only partially getting kidnapped don’t worry

FUCK YEA FRACK THIS IS WHY I LOVE YOU

I love Nook’s voice as well

FUCK YEA JORDY WIN BACK UR BRAIN

Oh that’s not good 

HELL YEA ARIN 

He’s gonna almost die isn’t he

LMAOOOOOOOOO 

Oh ow rip Robie 

Holy shit that’s actually insane 

OH GOD HE FELL ENTIERLY OFF THE EDGE JESUS 

Oh god they’re all fucked up

JORDY!

Hey the car’s back! AND SO IS JORDANA

OH GODDDDD

OH FUUUUUCK 

RAS AND ARIN MAKE ME INSANE THEY’RE BOTH SO COMPLEX HOLY FUCKKKK

At least most of them are out of it

Bro Robie is making friends with some rocks right now 

BADASS FIGHT IS BADASS

“Not from you” DAMN

OH. OH LLOYD KNOWS. HE KNOWS AND HE KNOWS HE CANT FIGHT IT OH GOD IM GONNA CRY 

ROBIES ALIVE 

I FUCKING LOVE HER SO MUCH 

I LOVE HOW HE WASNT EVEN BOTHERED JUST CONFUSED LMAO 

They’re actually adorable. Like I low-key didn’t want her to get a bf but this is so cute good for them 

But uh, y’all kinda have shit to do first-

Zdmn she almost got decapitated 

OH DAMN THIS IS PERSONAL

Bold choices Arin

KAI AND BONZEL 

Nil kinda wish he stayed in super hell longer but it’s ok 

CUZ THAT WAS A FUCKING ENTRANCE 

Oh hes pisssedddddd

They are such a dynamic duo omg that was iconic 

FUCK YEA ROBIE 

GET IT GEO 

LMAO that was personal for Euphrasia. Good for her 

LMAO HES JUST GETTING FUCKING DRAGGED HELP

BOLD CHOICES ARIN I STG 

Oh that scream :(((((

Oh fuuuuuck Arin made his choice 

Group hug :D That Lloyd isn’t in cuz he’s having a moment D:

BONZEL AND COLE :D

I’m just gonna assume he somehow knew she wasn’t dead ig? 

Wu being cryptic as always. We don’t even know if hes dead or not 

LMAO CINDER IN JAIL GET FUCKED

Yay for Sora but she is Not having a good time rn huh

Damn I wonder where Jordy went 

Lloyd and Sora man…..

That is a very good question Sora

THEYRE HOLDING HANDSSSSS

Kai should give this kid a shovel talk. I think it’d be funny 

GEO FRACK AND BONZEL AND FROCHICKY YAY

THEYRE GONNA TRACK DOWN JAY

Damn so they could be literally anywhere. They gotta track down Jay Arin and Pixal. At least Zane might get some time to look now

Dragon lady’s back 

I’m glad she’s not being a dick to him like Egalt would have been lol 

Oooooo Dragon favor 

Oh that’s an interesting thing for him to have 

I like how Arin’s reasonings are worded. Like he clearly still doesn’t exactly like Ras, he just needs him for his own thing. I really like that as opposed to Arin fully believing in what he’s doing cuz Arin just wouldn’t 

[amphibiahawks321]

Hi I love your content, I just read the one where the reader's parents meet beidou and ninguanng and I got inspired,imagine a similar one but with raiden(or Furina if you prefer)where the parents are freaking out and kneeling because their son's girlfriend is literally a God

[DING!🍪]

F/N : Dear don't you think you're going a bit... overboard?

[Pulls out the baking tray from the oven]

M/N : What do you mean?

[Reveals a BUNCH of food on the table]

[F/N raise his eyebrow]

M/N : Ok fine I got the message but I just want our Y/N's new girlfriend to feel comfortable!

F/N : By making her go to a food coma?

M/N : Oh come on it's not that bad! I haven't even made the apple pie yet!

[KNOCK KNOCK]

F/N : Well your apple has to wait cause they have arrived

M/N : Ah! They're here!

[Meanwhile outside the door]

Y/N : Oh man Oh man Oh man Oh man Oh man Oh man-....

[Taps his shoulder]

Raiden : Are you ok?

Y/N : I'm fine! Totally fine! I'm just gonna tell my own parents that I'm dating the almighty shogun..... OH GOSH IM FREAKING OUT!

[Caress both of his cheek]

Raiden : Dear you need to calm down I'm sure they'll understand

Y/N : Understand that I'm dating a freaking archon and especially the almighty shogun!?

[kiss his cheek]

Raiden : I promise you my sweets if things go south I'll try my very very best to reason with them

Y/N : [Calming down] Y-yeah.... Y-your right

Raiden : And I already heard a lot of great things about your parents from you

Y/N : Y-yeah

Y/N : B-but! What if they suddenly died from being too shocked?!

Raiden : I doubt that they would die from being too shocked dear....... Ok maybe one of them would faint on the ground [Chuckles]

Y/N : PFFTT- you got that right [Chuckles]

Y/N : O-ok

[Grabs the door knob]

Y/N : i-i can do this...

[Holds his shoulder]

Raiden : I'll wait for the signal?

Y/N : Yeah...

[Kiss his cheek]

Raiden : You got this dear

[Winks at him]

[Y/N blushes a little]

Y/N : T-thanks.... Ok let's do this

[OPENS DOOR]

M/N : Y/N!

Y/N : Mom!

[Hugs her tightly]

Y/N : I miss you so much!

F/N : Woah woah! No hugs for me?

Y/N : Dad!

[Hugs him tightly]

[M/N breaks the hug between them]

M/N : Ok enough hugging for both of us, I WANNA MEET MY ANGEL'S LITTLE GIRLFRIEND!

Y/N : Y-yeah she's outside r-right now

F/N : Well are you just gonna let her outside or are you gonna let her in?

Y/N : Wait!

Y/N : M-mom dad i-..... Wow what is that delicious Smell?

[Looks at the table]

Y/N : WHAT THE!? Mom why is there so much food? There's almost not anymore space left on the table

M/N : Ok maaaaaaaybe I got a little overboard

Y/N : Dad you're supposed to keep her away from the kitchen you know what she's like!

F/N : O-ok fine yes I should've done that but she said she was gonna make just a little buffet

Y/N : And you believed her?

F/N : ......yes

[Y/N thought 💭]

Dang Raiden is seriously gonna enjoy this...

Y/N : Ok enough of the food

Y/N : M-mom dad please don't judge her when she enters...

M/N : Wow! What do you take both of us for? Some kind of Thugs?

F/N : Yeah we don't care if she's different as long as you're happy with her we're ok with anything

Y/N : O-ok..... Raiden you can come in now!

F/N & M/N : Raiden?

[Raiden enters the house]

Raiden : It's a huge pleasure meeting you Mr. F/N and Ms. M/N

Y/N : S-surprise?

M/N : ....

F/N : ....

Y/N : are you guys ok-

M/N & F/N : THE ALMIGHTY SHOGUN?!!!!?!

[Both of them IMMEDIATELY kneels down]

M/N : i-it's a h-huge h-honor m-meeting you a-almighty s-shogun!

F/N : B-but may w-we ask what i-is the a-almighty s-shogun doing here e-exactly?

Raiden : [Giggles] No need for kneeling down both of your presence is already enough

F/N : B-but a-again what A-are you d-doing h-here?

Raiden : [Giggles] it's like what your son said

[F/N & M/N looks at Y/N completely shocked]

[Y/N walked up next to Raiden]

Y/N : M-mom D-dad m-meet my girlfriend R-raiden shogun...

F/N : ....

M/N : ....

[F/N fainted]

Y/N : Oh no!

[20 minutes later after Y/N's dad woke up from the faint]

Y/N and Raiden Explains to M/N and F/N how they both met and how both them start to date because they both always feel so Giddy when they both are with each other the first time they interact (Y/N had to explain it to them for 50 minutes)

F/N : Oh my gosh...

M/N : Y-you can say that again

Y/N : A-are you g-guys o-ok with t-this?

F/N : ..............ABSOLUTELY!

M/N : ..............ABSOLUTELY!

[Raiden and Y/N looked at them eyes widened]

Y/N : ok if I'm being honest I thought we needed to be more convincing...

Raiden : Agreed...

Y/N : A-are you sure? You're not gonna be mad?

F/N : my son is dating an archon how can I be mad?! This is incredible!

M/N : I know right!

F/N : D-does the almighty-

Raiden : oh no need to call me with such formal you can just call me Raiden

F/N : O-ok Ummmm R-raiden how much would you say you love our son?

Raiden : With my whole life sir the first time I met Y/N he completely changed my life whenever I'm around him I always feel so....... Comfortable

[Y/N blushes]

Y/N : •////﹏////•

M/N : AWWWWWW!

[F/N whispers to M/N excitedly]

The almighty shogun just called me sir

M/N : s-so almight- I-i mean shogun can we both trust you with our son?

Raiden : Absolutely! I will protect and love your son with all my heart Ms. M/N

F/N : I-i guess it's Settled then

Raiden : Excuse me for my manner but since I enter your house I can't help but smell something delicious

M/N : O-oh! Right!

[She shows Raiden and Y/N the table full of food]

Y/N & F/N : Oh dear....

[Meanwhile Raiden mouth is drooling from the sight of the food ESPECIALLY! Those 8 dango on the plate]

M/N : Well what are we waiting for?! Let's dig in!

[Half an hour later, Raiden and Y/N are outside ready to leave to take their leave]

M/N : Remember to always call us ok?

Y/N : Yes mom

M/N : And remember to always visit us when you have the chance alright? Also bring Raiden with you cause she is gonna be surprised how many dango's I'll make

Y/N : [Chuckles] Alright mom I promise

[Hugs M/N and F/N]

Y/N : Bye guys me and Raiden will visit whenever we can

F/N : [chuckles] You better

Y/N : Bye mom Bye dad!

Raiden : We'll definitely visit you guys again everytime we have the chance!

F/N & M/N : Bye!

........

F/N : .......Ok it's your turn to faint

[M/N immediately fainted but F/N luckily catches her]

[idkwhatever580]

Idk if y’all liked my commentary on the last episode of Agatha All Along but I’ve decided I don’t care what you guys think I’m gonna do it anyways. And I’m gonna give timestamps this time 😭

I just realized I never posted this 😭 I’m gonna post it now while I’m working on episode six bro 😭🔫

⚠️WARNING⚠️ AGATHA ALL ALONG EPISODE 5 SPOILERS AHEAD… WATCH AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION.

You have been warned 😭

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

2:09:

OH MY GOD WTF ARE THOSE THINGS

Like logically I know they are the Salem seven. And that probably means they’re the lady witches that Agatha killed all the way back in wandavision lol 😂 but why are they whispering and lurking like fucking BUGS THEY LOOK LIKE BUGS

3:02:

Holy shit not Rio defending Agatha. That’s low-key hot. Not the protectiveness 😭

So what? Maybe she is the angel of death or whatever you want to call her. (Angel in my eyes) I’d probably let her kill me and then I’d thank her for it too 😭😜

5:12

WOOOAAAAAHHHHH

That was so fucking funny bro 😭 why is rio so fucking real. Like idc that I’m being chased I’m literally about to ride a broom

IM PAMELA PUMPKIN

Now ride the witches broom. Ride the witches broom 😭

6:36

Bro her witch laugh ✋😭

That shit has me shook

6:56

OH HELL NAW FUCKING BUGS?!

ID KILL MYSELF SO HARD

8:47

No way.

“We have to wee gee”

✋😭🔫

I’ve never ever pronounced ouija like that brooooo

10:02

She so real for that

10:48

Stop I can’t take this seriously 😭🙏

11:30

STOP THEYRE SO REAL

11:46

Not her getting fucked up my mrs hart 😭

12:39

Stop that was so cringey. I knew she was faking the second I saw Rios face

Guys… I can’t spell this good. Y’all are moving to fast for me bro 😭

I legit thought it was spelling out Marsha when it

14:24

Bro this whole thing is crazy bro

14:42

No shot. Leave her alone with your little retainer ass bitch.

15:02

Shut your whore mouth Jen.

I hate all of you.

She is literally just a girl

15:21

Not Agatha being a fucking pick me 😭

16:18

WHAT THE FUCK

16:29

“Sweetheart are you okay?”

Stop y’all. I know she meant it in a not so endearing way, but DAMN

17:25

Nah shit.

I apparently hate ghosts too.

17:34

✋😭

No fucking way bro

18:04

Stop embarrassing me in front of my friends mom 😭🔫

18:32

“No! NO WAY!”

That’s so fucking sweet

“Yeah well her mother can’t have her”

She probably knows how scared she is right now. Honestly I think Agatha wouldn’t be afraid to die in Rio’s hands because she would take care of her and make sure her soul was safe or something like that idk (maybe it’s my fluff brain speaking)

But she knows her mom would hurt her and she doesn’t want her last minutes to be with the person who tried to take her life bro 😭🔫🔫🔫🔫

19:08

Oh damn. Rio’s reaction. She knows how bad her mom is.

19:25

OH FUCK YOU JEN KILL YOURSELF YOURE A BITCH I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT BE GOOD BUT YOURE A HOE

20:06

NO AGATHA YOU CAN BE GOOD PLEASE STOP

20:39

OH HELL NO THATS SO TRAUMATIZING

Like I know she just tried to kill Alice and almost did. But like no fucking way

21:20

NooooooooOoOooOoOooOoooooooOOOOOO

22:11

They did my bitch dirty.

23:53

No fucking way�� I’m in the library at my college bro. I’m actually about to shit myself bro 😭🔫

Like I’m going to shit my pants.

Stop. I’m so done.

I’m done. I’m done. I’m done. Im done.

I think I’m actually gonna throw up. I can’t do this. I need to cry but wtf.

In conclusion:

I seriously am feeling so many things I’m supposed to do schoolwork but I can’t even focus now 😭🔫

Now I feel like I need to sit and stare at a blank wall for an hour. That’s not allowed to happen but I actually have a headache from feeling to hard. Maybe also a heartache.

I’m out here defending Agatha like “oh you can be good it’s okay babe” right and then she goes and does this shit.

Also Billy… Billy my boy. Bill bob. I seriously need you to get to the end of the road and bring your mother back. Because I swear to god if you bring vision back I will hate you. And I will never be able to look at you the same.

Also… what did you do with Tommy huh? You jsut left him out in the cold somewhere? Lost in a fucking hex??? Get out bro.

I swear. This is gonna break my heart. Kmskmskmskmskmskmskmskmskmskmskmskmskms

[finchesslingshott]

AH YES THE LONG-AWAITED GREAT GATSBY CAST ALBUM NOTES FROM FINCH READ AT YOUR OWN RISK

roarin’ on - 10/10

this song has literally been on loop since it first came out

has zero right to be this much of a banger

lives in my head rent free

oh nick carraway the man you are

“tonight lets misbehaaaaaave” scratches my brain in just the right way

WHERES THE PARTY AND CAN YOU TAKE ME THERE ANDDD WHEN THE PARTYS OVER CAN YOU FIND ANOTHER PARTY SOMEWHEREEEE

harmonies my beloved

“turns out: manhattan is expensive!” nick carraway laugh line era is so good

“with his arms spread to the SKYYYYYYYYY” oh i love tenors so much

nick’s speaking voice is so silly i love it he’s just a little guy

the ensembles little “oh oh oh oh”s make me so happy

ORCHESTRA MARRY ME

NICKS TENOR RANGE GOOD GRAVY IT NEVER CEASES TO AMAZE ME

absolute rose - 7.5/10

the ukulele goes crazy

jordan’s dialogue is so silly what a woman

DAISYS LITTLE GIGGLE IM GONNA DIE

ew tom i visibly frowned

ORCHESTRA I LOVE YOU

tom no one likes you shut your face

oh daisy’s voice what a woman

new money - 8.7/10

OK GET IT THIS BEAT IS SO GOOD WHAT THE HECK

samantha pauly i love you

AAA CHROMATIC SCALE MY EYES ACTUALLY WIDENED

its almost like 80s core as well as having that 20s swing and i love it

WOLFSHEIM!!!! HEY POOKS (my favorite minor character he doesnt get talked about enough)

“who’s the teahcer?” “thats nick carraway”

the rumors section oh my goodness i literally cant ensemble i literally love you

“do you believe thay about mr gatsby?” “WHAAT?”

oh jordan your speaking voice dear

JORDANNNN

for her - 9.5/10

ITS OUR BOY LADS OH MY GOSH

oh orchestra oh lyrics oh jeremy

“daisyyyy” IM CRYING

the smooth switches between falsetto and full chest voice just adds to the emotion

ORCHESTRAAAAAA

OH ITS THE PART FROM TIKTOK

ok enunciation and emotion get it jeremy

LITERALLY IN ACTUAL TEARS OH MY WORD JEREMY

oh strings you and your tremolo are killing me over here

“now she has TOOOOO KNOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWW ITS ALLLL FOR HERRRRRRRRRRRRRR”

valley of ashes - 7.5/10

this beat is so cool oh my gosh 

who is this singing??? i cant tell??? 

OHHHH ITS THAT GUY HEY WILSON

talking to the billboard of the doctors eyes is actually a detail i had headcanoned when i originally read the book and this is actually making me so happy

oh wilson and his wife (whos name i forgot)

“youve got the eyes of God / if God needed glasses”

that was actually so cool what

way too short

second-hand suit - 8.7/10

im loving the ukulele content in this musical 100/10

this role is so clarisse la rue from the lightning thief and i love it

the mood and beat change when she starts talking about tom is insane

the drum beat is so cool what

i cant remember her name for the life of me what is wrong with me

I LOVE THIS OMW NEW DREAM ROLE

for better or worse - 9.5/10

oh no oboe (?) solo i know im gonna start crying 

“and to learn that my soldier has returned / its both a blessing and a curse / is it for better or for worse?”

literally just texted my voice teacher demanding (/j) to work on this song 

“and not to thinkkk about the PAAAAAAST”

oh my gosh wow hold on crying what the flip

somehow “once upon a december” coded

OH OH OH OH NO OH NO

i think my soul just left my body

the met - 8.5/10

AWESOME BASS LINE I’M ALREADY SOLD

MYRTLE THATS HER NAME DEAR GOODNESS I THOUGHT IT WAS LIKE MIRIAM OR MARY OR SMTH 

woah mr mckees voice makes him more creepy than he alr was in the book

“i need a dose of culture / and i need a cigarette”

“in the bedroom lighting i’m an eight�� is literally insane

WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON IN THIS SONG

myrtle’s sister ranking different people is literally so crazy calling gatsby a 5 when he’s literally JEREMY FLIPPING JORDAN

katherine’s myrtle’s sister’s name right???? i’m not crazy???

oh nick carraway you and your internal monologue

myrtle and tom’s fight is literally crazy “dAisY dAIsY dAisY” (SMACK)

nick straight up calling tom an asshole is so crazy i love him for it tbh

OH FUNKY BASS LINE MARRY ME

“yes… please connect me with mr. j. gatsby.” BUHM

this was one of my fav scenes in the book and they portrayed it beautifully i’m literally in love

only tea - 9/10

i love a good jeremy jordan meltdown song

“i am not okay.” me too jeremy its ok pookie

“old sport” HE SAID IT HE SAID THE THING I’M GONNA START CRYING

ok the beat yes oh my gosh the goofy little trumpet slides and ukulele my beloved

“i’m gonna walk into the ocean” jay gatsby stop making me kin you

ok ensemble vocals get it

the voice crack on “cASUal” im in love

his voice cracks in general what a man

poor nick man 

i think jeremy’s playing jay to be bipolar and i’m here for it /hj

green light - 10/10

hoooooo boy ok here we go

this is one of the ones i still havent listened to even though it was released early

the falsetto jeremy you’re killing me here

calling her “daisy faye” instead of “daisy buchanan” is so symbolic of him like seeing her as his instead of legally tom’s

oh eva noblezada what a woman you are

the mood/orchestral change when daisy started singing i’m dead

OH THEYRE SINGING TOGETHER IM GONNA DIE

oh theyre definitely kissing why else would they have this random orchestral break thats somehow so similar to “something to believe in” from newsies

the emotion in their voices urhgjgdjdjdjfjfdjdksoaoeokgkf

the harmoniesss

ooh bet theyre kissing again

THE FINAL NOTE OH MY GOSH

the next “something to believe in” i fear

shady - 7.5/10

UH OH IM EXCITED

MORE WOLFSHEIM CONTENT???

his voice is so cool

he’s so tevye coded i cant even explain how or why but he is

AAAAAAAAA DOUBLE BASS I COULD CRY

this instrumental is killing me goodness gravy

“everybodys a little bit shady / the world keeps spinning if you grease the wheel” goes hard

ensemble vocals go harddddd

better hold tight - 8.7/10

more standup bass i could die

“i think i see the stars aligning / or my standards are my declining”

NICK AND HIS VIBRATO I’M SCREAMING

“what you did might be taboo / but i like that look on you” 

i need my next (if any) boyfriend to be a tenor so he can sing this with me

SCREAMING I LOVE THEM

past catching up to me - 9.5/10

oh jerjor your precious little voice can you marry me yet

“she kissed me and swore she’d never stray / then the world got in the way”

this is the new tenor song along with santa fe and great expectations

GET IT DRUMS WOO GO ORCHESTRA

THE KEY CHANGE. OH MY GOSH.

HAD NO RIGHT HITTING ME WITH A C5 (?) JEREMY POOKIE WHAT

ENSEMBLE VOCALS JUST ADD TO IT ALDKGKFKSKSKRKFKDSA

la dee dah with you - 8.5/10

ok just from the orchestral stuff its alr a banger

this is the big tap number right????

whos singing??? this isnt jordan??? is this just an nyc girl from annie type situation?

i’m confused but its a banger so i dont care

oh im so sure the choreo is so impossibly good

YES THE TAPS LETS FLIPPING GO AKDKFLFLSLERLGLDLSKA

AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH

yep this is it this is what i wanna do with my life

the ensemble hootin and hollerin just adds to it

TOO SHORT.

go - 8.7/10

YAY ANOTHER MENTAL BREAKDOWN SONG!

somehow violet beaudelaire x quigley quagmire core if you know what i mean

“if we wait until we’re ready we’ll be waiting for the rest of our lives” core

them <333333333

ew tom spoke i hate him

“i love you lets go / before i change my mind”

these harmonies ugh

ORCHESTRA ILY

too short again

made to last - 9/10

is this tom?? i cant tell?????

OH IT IS LETS GO

OH MY GOSH ITS THE GATSBY TOM FIGHT LETS FLIPPING GO

i really wanna see how this is staged…

OK SMOOTH KEY CHANGE

the conflicting vocal parts in the argument im gonna actually die

tom desperately trying to win me over with his vocal parts

oh its so “nonstop” coded im gonna actually die

for better or worse (reprise) - 7.5/10

its my pookies oml

oh samantha pauly your voice

they better kiss

TOO SHORT

one-way road - 9/10

MYRTLE??? OH MY GOSH???

“WATCH THE ROAD ASSHOLE”

“wait what if i become her?”

the callbacks to second hand suit make me happy

yeah no this is my role i’ve claimed it now

i swear the amount of mental breakdown songs in this music i live for it

YES MYRTLE POP OFF

God sees everything - 8.7/10

lets go george pop off king

TOO SHORT WHAT THE FLIP

for her (reprise) - 8/10

YES CELLO YEA STRINGS AAAAAAAAAAAA

can someone love me like jay gatsby loves daisy buchanan

new money (reprise) - 8.3/10

ugh this beat kills me every time i cant even

DSGLAFJKLDSKLD ENSEMBLE I LOVE YOU

my fav reprise by far oh my GOSH

dying dead

TOO SHORT WTFFFF

beautiful little fool - 9/10

prepared to cry alr oh gosh

the whispery quality of her voice rn i’m gonna die eva pls

“It’s a girl the nurse said / and i broke, and i broke”

the piano instrumental killing me jeeeeeeez

“the best thing a girl can be in this world is a beautiful little fool” line taken STRAIGHT from the book and it KILLS me every single time i read it sdjadljksdljafdshlsdfjakdshdfask

oh eva noblezada your VOICE

OHHH THE CALLBACK TO ABSOLUTE ROSE I’M DEAD

ORCHESTRA MARRY ME HODSJGKSLAFKDGLJFADKSGLFAKDHGSLJFADHGS

texting my voice teacher rn

finale: roaring on - 9.5/10

YAY NICK HEY POOKS YOU EAT UP THAT MONOLOGUE KING

this is partially taken from the book uihsialfdjsghkfljdg i’m gonna cry

“I can still see gatsby / standing in silhouette” ok homo /pos

YES TENOR NOTE MY BELOVED

“with infinite hope / that made him fool enough to try / that light across the water was always out of reach / so why do we (x3) keep reaching”

OOOO BEAT CHANGE KILLING ME

YAY ROARING ON ODGJSHOAPLSFJDKGSHDLJFADHSGJJLFAD

DIRECT QUOTES FROM THE BOOK HOLY CRAPPPPPPP

WHERES THE PARTY AND CAN YOU TAKE ME THERRREEEEE-

genuinely in tears oh my GOSH

IN CONCLUSION

SURPRISINGLY cohesive to the book which made me so happy - the direct quotes had me SCREAMINGGGGG

phenomenal cast literally would die to breathe the same air as any of them

dream role is myrtle she sounds like a soprano belter sorry i don’t make the rules

JEREMY. FREAKING. JORDAN.

ORCHESTRA. ENSEMBLE. I LOVE YOU.

[shyslullabye]

ima talk my shit ab how dr cha ended actually

my thing is, very very happy for dr cha for finding herself, n the ending made so much sense plotwise. like imagine being a housewife for 20 years,your husband almost let you die, your mother in law is a odd one,your daughter ungrateful (I'll really die on this hill like til she found out bout her dad i wanted to fight her like cmon now),then to add on you do all this work to get back into the medical field, only for you to find out your husband been cheatin on you n has a daughter the same age as yours,THEN to get ANOTHER liver transplant after the first one failed,then having a divorce,,yea she does not need a man after that😭😭

HOWEVER,the slowburn was so unnecessary if they were jus gonna do a timeskip have roy end up w somebody else. like i really wanted to see jeongsuk n roy together bcs like...16 long episodes of him literally following her like a puppy for yall to break them UP ? NO WAY

like bro was ready to give her his liver, asked if she could come w him to meet his family,n lets not forget how he held her sOOO close when she fell off the building, + all the talk bout "hurry up n come to me" ?!?!?!?!?!

like again very happy for jeongsuk but like....i wanted them together in the timeskip im sawry

[possamble]

Do you have any songs you associate with the group and or a particular DunMeshi character? I have a few I associate with Laios and Kabru (mostly Hozier tbh) but been having a harder time for Falin, Marcille, and even Thistle.

the way this launched me into a day long project of making playlists lmfao

This one I haven't curated super well, but I think i put it in a general progression that makes sense. Unfortunately I have a very small range of music that I listen to so Falin just turned into my millionth Sara Bareilles/Ingrid Michaelson themed girlie LMAO

Highlights on this playlist for me:

"Let the Rain" is just an entire mood for post-canon Falin I think. the line that hits the hardest about her for me is "and I always felt it before, that the world was filled with much more than the drowning soul I've learned to be."

"Twenty-three" i know i know i know it's kpop and no one's gonna get the lyrics but I couldn't not put it on the list. it's literally about being 23 and not knowing what kind of "woman" you want to become and still feeling like you want to be a kid a little bit and wanting to be understood but knowing that you don't even understand yourself and feeling like you're running out of time because you're firmly in your 20's now

"Secrets" i know is incredibly personal to Mary Lambert but most of the lyrics really fit and that like... intensely joyful self expression is just so delightful and lovely and what i want for Falin in the post-canon.

"I Am Here" to me, is just the ultimate celebration of being alive, of being joyful and grateful and happy that you're a messy animal that can laugh and hurt. I think Falin would cherish being half-monster, the fact that it gave her a second chance at choosing to be alive rather than sacrificing herself for others and letting that be her entire story, and the freedom it gives her to keep living.

you have to promise not to judge me on this one. you have to. yes i went ahead and curated an entire playlist that has okay-ish transitions/flow between songs and thematically follows Marcille's journey through the story. i also put a bit of kpop on it but it FITS okay she's a girly girl!!!!

It's rough. it's really really rough right now and i'll probably come back to it but the concrete songs i was trying to build around are like...

"What is Love?" it's literally just a girly girl song about wondering what love might feel like. complete with daydreaming about romantic stories and hoping all that wonderfulness will happen to you.

"Men of Snow" okay i know it's Ingrid Michaelson again but hear me out. this song is so fucking heartbreaking. it can be taken in different ways but if you put in Marcille's context it's gutting. it's a song about mortality and the impermanence of everything set to an almost cutesy waltz-beat piano accompaniment.

"Que Sera, Sera" self-explanatory, I think. im lucky this cover is on spotify because it's such a perfect song for encapsulating the entire sequence where Marcille decides to become the dungeon lord. (the second iteration at the end of the playlist is happier, taking the happy and calm interpretation of "what will be, will be", and also includes the second verse about a "sweetheart")

"What Sarah Said" it's a song about being in the ICU waiting for news about a loved one while suddenly realizing that there's nothing you can do. i think almost every line in this song guts me about Marcille, picturing her waiting for Falin to wake up the second time. (it's also my very pretentious attempt at tying the playlist together by answering the earlier question. What is love? "Love is watching someone die.")

"The Last Snowfall" is just. Vienna Teng has been my favourite artist since I was fifteen and part of it is that she has this incredibly beautiful way of leaving lyrics impactful but ambiguous. This song isn't about being afraid of losing someone but miraculously getting a happy ending, it's just an exploration of that fear with a "what if" built in, and I just think it's such a good way of capturing how Marcille was prepared to lose Falin and that was so important, almost even more important than the fact that it ended up being a happy ending anyway. also I wish i could have put in the live version because it's insane

For Thistle the only recommendation I have is Bird Song by Florence and the Machine it's wonderfully eerie, i literally think it's the best musical depiction of that specific kind of guilty murderer anxiety of "the telltale heart" from edgar allan poe

[lanternlightss]

Old Mondstadt and ISAT crossover and/or swap au because I’m brainrotting so hard about them

-I have already said enough about decarabian and the king however in a swap au it would be so funny if deca not having a design is canon because. Deca being ecstatic that he not only has a physical humanoid form but a really powerful and intimidating one, meanwhile the king lamenting about how he got turned into the missing texture image. Two dimensional square.

-NB and siffrin!!! They would absolutely be best friends!! Siffrin would teach nb the best ways to use a dagger properly while nb would teach him how to play the lyre. Nb letting siffrin borrow his cecilia pin while sif lets nb try on their hat. Inseperable. Also sif and nb being confused about eachother’s age (both think the other is in their early teens, when sif is in his mid-late 20s meanwhile nb being in his mid-late teens. <- the two being made fun of by their respective parties for being short)

-Dormont worships the god of change, what if old mond worshipped the god of time? Especially since they contrast with eachother- dormont’s citizens being quite literally frozen in time, while life in old mond is stagnant over the years. Wind wisps look like tiny change gods. Dancing wind wisps. Do you see my vision. (Instead of the actual god of time being a wind wisps, wind wisps are more seen as representatives)

I have more to say, but this might be too much to fit into one ask so I’ll split it into multiple <- too many thoughts

SHDHDHDHDHDJD THE KING JUST ONE DAY POPPING OUT OF EXISTENCE TO TURN INTO A STARRY NIGHT, A CASTLE ON THE HORIZON,,, a crown even ,,, and you can hear him complaining miles away IS so super funny oh my god, giggling. ohhhhh…. bright one ….. They turned me into a png 😔 …

but also REAL that would be such an apprehensive fight,,, decarabian feels like smthn otherworldly sometimes, we don’t know his origins so far, so to have him that Tall ?? to have him looming over everyone …. Wuh . Wuh Oh . like everyone needs all the luck and skill they can get because that seems like a . soulsgame boss fight where you just spotted a stumbling 25 foot horror and they’re running for You, the sky blooming into darkness, the cut string of a chord going taut accompanying it. but also him …. being more visually of the “eye of a storm now” too …

also god yeah the age confusion 😭😭 that would be such a treat and a half to get to witness in full. nameless bard thinking he has it down on lock and then one day siffrin is like oh . yeah . im almost thirty ? and loses his entire mind over it. how LONG ???? WHEN . (AND UEAH YEAH YEAH . yeah . i think it’s especially funny because even nameless bard, resident old mond shortie, is still taller than siffrin is. mostly because it seems venti himself is somewhere between 5’4”-5’5”, nb being maybe a smidge ?? taller ?? like rip siffrin and your 5’1”ness your shorty buddy can also join in on the teasing 😔 …. however he is a ride or die so !!!!) (<- but like. oh my godd. both of them making plans to add their heights together because dammit they want this object and they’re not gonna let it get past them bc it was too high) (<- immediately becomes a deer in headlights when one of their crew spots them. it was for the greater good.)

AND NAMELESS BARD BEING TAUGHT THE WAYS OF A DAGGER !!! CHEERS !!!!! he would be listening So Intently, he may make a few. injury ouchies, but mark his words he will Learn this. siffrin learning memory of menace because this will have 100000% good consequences dw about the name nb is going to be so normal abt this. don’t even worry. good friend siffrin is it possible to juggle knives. but also 🥺🥺 ohhh them sitting down to make music …. the possibility of siffrin remembering an old tune from his childhood, maybe some kind of lullaby ……. nb trying to perfect it so the memory never truly gets to fade….. Ough …. ohhh …. trying to look to the stars, and see if he could match the twinkling of them…

also wind wisps being the representatives sound SO SUPER INTERESTING i am looking i am looking so hard. you see these little guys, simply appearing as though out of thin air, simply going with the breeze, and you know something is about to go very very very wrong ….. good omens, bad omens, perhaps …. depending on what they do ? but anyways — YES HELLO ???

[oldphanny]

so a super old friend from literal primary school just reached out to me for the first time in like over a decade and they have a kid now and stuff and I'm just sitting with the fact that I'm like almost in my late 20's and literally have nothing to show for it.

Like 'what have you been up to'

Literally nothing. Trauma and nasty people being nasty. Im essentially back to where I was as a teen. So anyway, cute kid 🥺 I'm gonna keel over and die now.

[castielsprostate]

I'm nosy af. I want to see Misha's bank statements and tax returns. I genuinely wonder (like, all the time) what decent rich people (not asshole rich people.. i know what they spend their money on) actually spend their money on. I've never had money. I spend everything i get on food and rent. I go into debt buying shampoo and deodorant. my laptop is 12 years old (and i had to get a loan to buy that and pay it off over five years.) My phone is newer (2016) but was a secondhand gift. I don't own a car. I don't have any pets. I've never in my life been on vacation. I have no insurance, I'll never be able to afford a house and I will almost certainly die tens of thousands of dollars in debt. (I looked into funeral expenses recently and thought FUCK i can't even afford to die!) I wonder what it feels like to.. not live like this? Misha was poor as a kid. I wonder if you get used to wealth if you've been dirt poor? Like i wonder if Dolly Parton is used to being rich now, decades after growing up in a shack with no electricity or running water. I can't even imagine ever getting used to not worrying about having enough food. If I was ever that rich (don't have to worry about food or rent money) I think i'd feel like the wealthiest person in the world. I legit can't even imagine it though. It would take me 20 years to earn $250,000, but Misha can do it in a weekend. Crazy world. (This is not a criticism of him. I love him. I bet he spends a lot of that money doing good things. I'd love to see his receipts, tho.)

oh anon i feel you!!!!! i grew up with literally eating 50p macaroni every day for WEEKS. in the winter we didn't have connected heating because we just couldn't pay for it so we had a diesel generator (this was in 2006). it got better, we got heating (sort of lmao) and we could afford wayyy more when my mum got a job. the little bits of money i got, i never got used to it, it always felt like this is the last im getting i need to save this and not spend that but it didn't go away but the feeling stayed. the feeling of "you're gonna lose this next month" doesn't go away. and we're talking an amount of 1k a month here lmao sjsjsjs i could NEVER imagine having to not worry about rent or food or getting clothes i need or new shampoo. right now i'm worrying about the 15€ i need for some things i genuinely need, but literally dont have the money for. the world would seem so much brighter if I wouldn't even have to look at my bank account and just put the card down yknow?

i dont think anyone that grew up poor, even misha or dolly tbh, every get used to having money :/ and as you said, he makes that in a weekend now (though he also donates a lot of money and uses it for good, a lot is going into investments, his kids' funds etc) but i still think he has that underlying worry gnawing at him that this is it and he's gonna have to do xyz and sell yzx and take up zyx job. it's a never ending pool of anxiety and stress that never ebs and it probably hits him right before going to bed

but then again, i'm just tumblr user castielsprostate what do i know

[bullshit-bulltrue]

☆ hawk talk 8/16/23 ☆

i was waiting at the front of the school with the rest of the entire school for them to open the doors

and what happened?

all the girls were screaming because of a fucking cicada.

my ears have hurt less from listening to death rock at max volume.

I. WAS. NOT. PREPARED. FOR 40 GIRLS SCREAMING THEIR LUNGS OUT.

oh and uh it was funny bc at one point delgado started jumping up and down to catch the cicada lol

oh and speaking of him, when the staff let us in the school building we had to still wait in the quad(i think that's what we call it) for an other 20 minutes and it turns out i was sorta close to him and his friends while waiting and we made eye contact and he waved at me <3

and his friends kinda just like,, looked at me and i'm like uh hi?

LIKE TF

yeah uh

delgado is really cool but i don't think his friends are too fond of me *awkwardly zones out and questions life bc i haven't been mean and i don't want real chill people to hate me bc that has happened way too many times*

SO ANYWAY-

oh yeah i forgot something

HOW THE HELL DO I ALWAYS END UP WALKING BEHIND DELGADO?? LIKE BITCH RESPECTFULLY MOVE OUT THE WAY I CANNOT SEE OVER YOU YOU'RE LIKE AT LEAST 3 INCHES TALLER THAN ME AND I AM ALREADY BLIND AS IT IS

but like it's better than all the taller people being behind me and me almost getting trampled

so.. yeah ig...

nothing much happened in history

it was boring

but my desk buddy was acting pretty cool

i still don't like her but i don't necessarily hate her rn

um math was the same ??

oh we learned a way easier way to solve a particular kind of equation!!!!

IM REALLY EXCITED ABOUT THAT!

OH AND THEN WE HAD ENGLISH!!

AND OMG SO THE TEACHER HAD BEEN PRONOUNCING BASEBALL GUY'S NAME WRONG FOR A WEEK AND A HALF OMFG

AND LIKE I KNEW SHE WAS PRONOUNCING IT WRONG BC THERE WAS NO WAY HIS NAME SOUNDED THAT STUPID

Y'ALL I CAN'T-

AND THEN THIS IS WHAT HAPPENED HAPPENED:

Mrs. k: *road call* *says baseball guy's name*

baseball guy: here

mrs. k: i'm not pronouncing that right, am i?

baseball guy: nope.

mrs. k: *waits for him to pronounce it right* ... *guesses and actually gets it right*

baseball guy: *still don't fucking say anything*

(he's jut like this when it comes to the english teacher so the whole not talking thing isn't like strange behavior or anything)

oh and delgado's short bestie had to do testing still so he had to go to another classroom

and like

we have a new student. she sat at our table. so uh,, yeah

it was like kinda awkward cus any time i tried engaging in conversation with her she didn't answer me and i was like okay you're probably not a bitch and ur just shy that's fine but like i wanted to scream

BASEBALL GUY IS QUIET TOO BUT AT LEAST HE SPEAKS WHEN SPOKEN TO GODDAMN

so it was awkward just having someone literally just watch me and my friend speak for a while but then i was like fuck you and completely tuned her out

AND WAS NO ONE GONNA TELL ME HOW PAINSTAKINGLY AWKWARD IT IS FOR YOU AND SOMEONE ELSE TO GRAB THE SAME SHEET OF PAPER MULTIPLE TIMES BC LIKE ALL THE PAPERS WERE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DESK AND ME AND BASEBALL GUY KEPT REACHING FOR THE SAME PAPER LIKE FIVE FUCKING TIMES AND AT ONE POINT I WAS LIKE NAW BESTIE I'M JUST PUTTING MY HAND DOWN AND I JUST WAITED FOE HIM TO GIVE ME THE PAPERS BC HOLY SHIT I WANTED TO SHRIVEL UP AND DIE (let it die, let it die, let it shrivel up and die! was written about me actually)

oh and like we used this one program to measure our lexile and like i was the only student who's never used it before

so i'm like hha idk what to do <3

and mrs. k explained it and basically you read and get quizzed and that's it and like i didn't know where to find my test score so like i wrote down the wrong answer on my log 😭😭

AND THE NUMBER FOR LIKE A CERTAIN PART OF THE THINGY WAS 8 PLUS 20 BONUS POINTS

SO I WROTE THAT DOWN

AND THEN DELGADO SAW AND HE'S LIKE [INSERT DEAD NAME) THAT AIN'T RIGHT 💀 SMTH AIN'T ADDIN UP

so then i was like WHERE TF DO I LOOK FOR MY SCORE THEN

and yeah when i gave him my chromebook to show me where tf to look i just had to scroll down 😭😭

and then he was like "oh you got a hundred, good job!" and then i mentally started doing a happy dance <3

and then we like did our english journal thing to where we had to glue shit and put tabs in our notebook and stuff and it was actually fun !!

and then we had to number a bunch of pages and i treated it like a race in my head bc i'm like that and even tho nobody technically knew i was racing, i WON, bitches

so then i decided to bother delgado at lunch again 🙃

well idk if i bothered him per se, or his friends 💀

so like my mom has been packing me dragon fruit everyday for lunch and i got burned out this week so i gave it to delgado's friend Alex

and he's like "why you keep giving me this 😃" and he's like naw i still want it but like why

and i'm like "because i'm fucking nice 🙂"

nah i just said that i was burned out and shit

so yeah

and brO-

DELGADO HAS THE BEST CURSED IMAGE COLLECTION I HAVE EVER SEEN LIKE I SERIOUSLY NEED TO UP MY GAME Y'ALL

I SWEAR I ALMOST CHOKED ON MY POZOLE THREE TIMES

oh and like i also gave delgado the tortillas my mom packed me bc i wasn't that hungry and i did not think that him eating the school good was a good idea bc it's on a prison level of shitty ngl

so then this bitch takes the tortillas, and him and alex start slapping each other in the face with them 😭😭

ALEX THROWS THE TORTILLA ACROSS THE FUCKING MESS HALL DUDES

AND THEN DELGADO TAKES THE 3RD TORTILLA AND CRUMPLES IT UP AND WRAPS IT INTO A BALL IN THE TINFOIL AND THROWS IT AT SOMEONE'S HEAD

THIS BITCH IS A MENACE

oh and yo i found out that Alex is of puerto rican descent and i'm like so glad that the group i hang out with is all latino

except lanie, she's the token gringa, but that's alright, it's not her fault <3

so then from the mess hall, me and delgado are headed the same way bc our lockers are sorta close to one another

and THIS BITCH

so i put my stuff back in my locker, right?

well now i'm having to exit the hallway for our grade and it's loud as fuck and then all a sudden i hear delgado yelling my name and he's running up to me and is like "HEY! WE NEED OUR CHROMEBOOKS!"

wait let's format it like this:

okay from the top:

d: *running up to me and yelling bc it's loud asf* HEY! [INSERT LEGAL NAME] WE NEED OUR CHROMEBOOKS!!!"

m: WHAT?? (m stands for Me) AGAIN???

d: YEAH

*runs to my locker to grab it*

random ass teacher: hey! go around!

(we have a system where you enter the hallway one way, and if you need to go back, you have to exit and start all over. it sucks ass. i hate it)

m: *running to catch up with d after getting my chromebook bc we have PE in the same period*

my gym coach: oh no, only the boys need it bc they didn't do the form yet

m: *ready to lay on the gym floor and cry* oh, okay! *acts happy bc i ain't bout to be a weak bitch infront of her*

m: *runs like my life depends on it to my locker to put my chromebook back and runs back to the gym* (THE GYM AND MY GRADE HALLWAY ARE NOT CLOSE TO EACH OTHER, AT ALL Y'ALL)

(LITERALLY RUNNING TO THE OPPOSITE SIDE OF THE SCHOOL)

I WAS ALMOST LATE BUT I BARELY MADE IT BEFORE THE TARDY BELL RANG AND I SWEAR I DID A FUCKING MILE SINCE I RAN BACK AND FORTH LIKE 4 TIMES SO ME THINKS THAT COUNTS FOR ENOUGH PE

and then we had to do like fitness testing and we did:

push-ups, sit ups, crunches, shuttle runs, a lap around the volleyball court, and then basketball

AND WE DO THE MILE ON FRIDAY, IF IT DOESN'T RAIN!!!!!

I'M SO EXCITED FOR THAT !!!!

^^ this is genuine, y'all. i love running so much!! yk, except for when it's back and forth across the entire school trying not to be late

AND LIKE I WAS SO FUCKING PISSED AT DELGADO BC DEEP DOWN I KNEW I DIDN'T NEED MY CHROMEBOOK BC WE DID THAT SHIT YESTERDAY

but then i was like why am i mad at him? it's not like he knew or anything so i didn't yell at him or anything lol

and then at the end of school when i passed him in the hallway, we said our goodbyes and yeah since i have first lunch tomorrow –technically today but whatever– we don't have the same lunch schedule, but i'll probably eat lunch with him on Friday, so that's cool!

oh and also, since i hate broadcast with a burning passion, my mom is going to go raging bitch mode in my school until i get an elective in my grade hallway that i want <3

and i want an elective in my grade hallway so i have 3rd lunch so that i don't ever have to eat lunch alone bc i look like a sad girl with no friends when i have 1st lunch and my anxiety peaks so yeah

I HOPE YOU LIKED TODAY <3

well technically yesterday but whatever fuck off

it's now 3:30am and i need to sleep

i woke up at 1am for no reason so??

yeah lol

night <3

[zaptap]

cleared 15 more floors of side order last night and left the last 5 for tonight (i remembered that i beat octo expansion like a day or 2 before the first splatfest after it--the orange juice one--so i decided i should try to be done in time for this one too)

and i beat it! (some spoilers ahead)

first 2 phases of the final boss weren't so bad, but in the third i died once (from the stingray... i remembered stingers are the number one thing i die from in salmon run so after that whenever i heard it i just RAN. reefsliders also broke my armor once so i learned to be careful of those too)

and since i only have 2 lives i had to play it super safe the rest of the fight. after dying, it literally took me almost 20 minutes for just that one phase (i recorded my playthrough so i know exactly how long it took).

i'd swapped my special for killer wail at a vending machine early on (using dualies btw) so my strategy was just to continue swimming + inking around the perimeter of the stage and then point the wail at it and go back to running. i also had a swim speed up chip and that certainly helped. slowly i wore each of the targets down bit by bit until they were gone (and sometimes ofc if i felt safe enough i'd hurl a splat bomb--i also got those--or go in and shoot at it)

wave 4 was super fun but i let all that power (and the music) go to my head and almost got killed by stingray again (if i didn't have armor i wouldve been dead)

was a little surprised that you only have to clear 30 floors (i guess 40 including the tutorial) considering how quick a lot of them go, i guess the expectation is you'll lose at least one run? (and i guess i did come close to doing that)

it's gonna get harder from here though probably. generally i chose based on which color chips seemed best, so i ended up doing a lot of easier floors (and i quickly learned my dislike of splat zones extends to this version of them too, i barely made it through a couple of normal/hard ones and decided to avoid them for the rest of the run) (tbh they're still better than defending an orb. at least you don't die if they take the zone)

....but i expect i'll probably want to clear all of the floors at least once in the end, just like how i've cleared every octo expansion/rotm stage with every weapon even though that isn't really necessary. so im going to have to go through splat zone hell later. maybe that'll make me better at splat zones though (also i guess the hacks should make that significantly easier. all i had was one extra life and slight damage reduction)

i did do one rigorous floor, acrobatic_triangular.floor, and it was fine. as with a lot of things in this game the trick was to just keep moving

and now that i've finally unlocked inkopolis square i can work on clothing store badges again (having unlocked the gold one in splatsville recently). i added up the amount needed to get everything i didn't have from 1 star to 2 stars and it was well over a million (this was before fresh season added more, too) so i didn't have to worry about potentially not being able to put money towards the jelfonzo badges. but at least now i'll get them sooner

i do still need gold hat/shoe badges from splatsville (i have all the inkopolis plaza ones) so i guess i'll be running back and forth until i have all of those and can focus my purchases entirely on inkopolis square shops

anyway splatfest for the next couple days so i guess i won't be doing anything in side order until at least after that. i do have several days off in a row though. also i gotta do my taxes. also i gotta get up for work in like 3 hours goodnight

[briefcasejuice]

💎 + Daredevil?

are there any fun facts or trivia that you would like to share? idk tbh ive been a fan for almost two years so all the fun facts are either. normal information to me now (and im sure the same goes for every one that sees this post) or just comic facts that stop being facts once you take the time to read. like teenage mutant ninja turtles being based on daredevil. the yellow suit. the fact that people think daredevil is Marvel Batman? not true (also people LOOOVED pulling up waid's run as a counter to this on twitter during october/nov last year and i promise you that's not the only run that exists). uuummmm matt's first clients were the fantastic four. spider-man and daredevil HATEDDD each other when they first met like i love calling them enemies to lovers because spider-man was bent on figuring this guy (matt) out for some reason. a daredevil issue was stan lee's fav. uuummmm ben affleck originally auditioned for bullseye. this isn't really a fun fact because it's something you notice once you read issues 1 through 20 at least but daredevil, as a comic book, was a hit or miss and they weren't sure if it was gonna really be a Thing so it wasn't a monthly released comic book until a 11(?) issues in. after that it's advertised as 'coming every month!!' or something like that on the covers. OH IVE GOT A GOOD ONE: karen originally wasn't supposed to die like even after the story was written, smith didn't like the storyline but he was pressured into it by quesada who i guess just really hated that matt was in a 'stable' relationship (that's not true marvel comics just went fucking bankrupt i think and it was interesting so they did it). an okay one: maleev uses himself as a reference to draw matt which i think is really funny because now. he's literally matt murdock. yeah that's all ive got

media hyperfixation game

[doctorguilty]

Baddddd bad bad bad very sad

My head hurts, the pressure makes me feel like it's being squeezed and crushed by rubber bands ... from sinus inflammation and dehydration and not eating probably isn't helping

I feel like I want to cry again but I'm trying to stop myself so I won't make the pain even worse

This is only, what, a week into dst? Not even winter yet.. Seasonal affective disorder is going in for the kill this year I guess. I don't know what im going to do because I'm so tired, physically and mentally and just tired of my life, there's no fight in me left. And no one will or can help me. I'm my family's least favorite and so i get the least help, doctors won't take my health seriously, my partner needs more time, possibly more than a year, before moving in with me with me somewhere. I can't afford to live on my own. I barely have energy to keep collecting scraps of money to show as income so I can continue getting food assistance.

I had a spark of hope for a while but it feels like it was a mistake to let myself have it. How much longer can I lie to myself and say "one more year until it gets better"? I mean, I can't. That illusion is broken. So what can I tell myself? It truly feels like there's nothing. Things keep getting worse. I tried so hard, I really did. I'm exhausted. Truly utterly exhausted.

Unless anyone out there (just like, the world not @-ing Tumblr dot com) has a spare 20 grand or something they'd just hand to me to live off for "one more year" (and then some) and detox from my miserable quality of life, surviving it barely even sounds appealing knowing that my physical and mental health I'll be another year WORSE than where it is now. And even then. There's not guarantee it ends there :''') its an estimate, an "if I'm lucky" estimate and it's not even considerably lucky to be in this position.

I genuinely don't know how I'm gonna keep living like everything is fine and normal while I continue losing steam to make money, make art, care for myself (I'm already down to roughly 2 showers a week and at best 1 real meal a day because I'm so tired), to keep filling out paperwork begging for assistance (I think I'm already overdue for my food stamp update), and watching other people in my family just be handed endless help while I'm patronized with "have you considered painting Christmas ornaments for a living" and interrogated about the validity of my disabilities (which I always fail to prove good enough)

Almost everyone around me is happier than me. Almost everyone else's life is on track and I'm at best simply left behind, and at worst I was someone they stepped on to get what they needed before tossing me to the side.

My life is not only painful and exhausting but humiliating. I don't feel like a person. I don't feel important. I feel like if i did die out of the blue, nobody would say they regret helping me more like people usually say, they'd just talk about how I should have done xyz better and it's my own fault (not a s*icide threat just being hypothetical like literally if i died for any random reason)

Most of everything that's happened in my life, I feel, has validated my chronic sense of worthlessness. Everyone says I'm not but prove it. Someone prove it. Someone put me first. Sacrifice something for me (and not complain what a burden I am on them!). For once. If I wasn't worthless, well, I'd be worth it, without strings attached.

It won't happen. It never happens. I have to dance like a fucking circus animal for people and then beg on my knees I'm entertaining enough to keep alive so I can do it over and over again

[gumihoe]

it's 4 am and I'm feeling out of it enough to actually talk about myself on my blog (aka the intended use of a blog I think) instead of just shitposts and thoughts about fictional characters woohoooo

so I've been making this comic right. and it's a very personal project for me so I have no intention of posting it or getting any attention for it. maybe I'll think about posting it when it's finally done but for now it's just for me. and if I can finish this comic then I have other stories that I'd like to work on but this current one is the one that I really really want to create and finish before I die lmfao

anyway when I was dating my ex for almost all of last year my productivity with my comic slowed to a fucking crawl like normally im able to finish one uhh let's call it a story arc in like 8-10 months? but I'm on like month 15 of making this current arc and I'm still not done lmfao. and I kinda hate the idea of being in a relationship now bc it's already gonna take me like 20 years to finish this comic at the fastest pace I can manage and the thought of taking even longer or even not being able to finish at all bc of my relationship fucking kills me tbh

but also I kinda do want to be married and maybe even have kids and the thought of giving THAT up so I can focus on a comic that literally no one else on the planet knows or cares about seems kinda ridiculous too. if I was an actual famous and successful artist/writer then I feel like it would make more sense to choose my art over love but like I'm. not. lol. it's like that onion headline that goes "local woman not good enough artist to justify her eccentricities". as much as I care about this comic it just doesn't feel like big enough of a deal for me to give up on love and a family for it

but I don't wanna DATE. UGH. I can't DRAW if I'm spending all my time with my BOO. I wanna DRAW!!!!!

really I guess it all comes down to fucking capitalism fucking things up again. bc if I didn't have to spend a third of my day at my JOB then maybe I'd have enough time to date/be married AND draw wow IMAGINE THAT. hayao miyazaki has a wife and family AND tells all the stories he wants to tell and that's cause he doesn't have to also write python scripts to manage third party license usage data for 40 hrs a week just IMAGINE