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viaxslz · 14 days ago

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. 【 ARRANGED ℳARRIAGE 】

享受 ! .°. ݁₊ 𐙚 !reader, cw: arranged marriage au, slight angst, fluff (ig), kissing, strangers to lovers (if that’s what they call it), super duber long (ok might not disappear but who knows), not proofread :P, hyung line ver.

HAN

Han Jisung –(aka husband who swears he’s not panicking while definitely panicking) From the moment you said “I do,” Han Jisung looked like he was fighting for his life. He was sweating through his suit, grinning way too wide, and stuttering so much during the vows that the officiant asked him twice if he was under duress. You weren’t thrilled about the arranged marriage either. You didn’t know each other, didn’t choose each other, and for the first few weeks, it showed. The atmosphere in your shared home was polite but tense like two interns accidentally assigned the same group project, silently wondering who would flake first. Jisung tried his best. He’d attempt conversation over breakfast: “Do you… like toast?” “I mean, of course you like toast, who doesn’t like toast—wait, are you gluten-free? Should I die?” “Sorry. That was dramatic. I’ll stop talking. Unless you want me to talk. Then I’ll talk forever.” You stared at him like he was a sitcom character that got lost on the way to his own show. The man was nervous. Constantly. He’d bump into chairs and say “sorry” to them. He’d knock on the bathroom door even when it was clearly open. He’d rehearse things in his room before saying them to you. One night you overheard: “Hey, Y/N, how was your day? No, too fake. Try again. Okay—Hey, Y/N! How’s the weather in your heart tod—no. Ew. What the hell.” You almost laughed. Almost. But the truth is, Jisung wasn’t acting. He was just genuinely trying. Genuinely overwhelmed. Genuinely scared of screwing up something that had already started with zero consent or choice. One night, you came home exhausted from work, dropped your bag on the floor, and groaned into your hands. Jisung, who had been pretending to study something on his laptop, panicked. “Oh my god. Did someone yell at you? Did you eat today? Did a bird attack you again?” “…Again?” He scrambled into the kitchen like a sitcom wife from the ‘50s, muttering, “I can cook—I mean, I can microwave—no wait, I made eggs once without the shell—wait, do you like eggs??” You burst out laughing. You didn’t mean to, but it just happened. And Jisung froze, blinking like he’d just won a Grammy. “…Was that a laugh? Did I do that? Did I—should I bottle this moment? Is this my peak?” You couldn’t stop. You laughed until you cried, and he stood there, looking both victorious and deeply confused. That broke the wall. After that, everything became easier. You talked more. Shared dumb jokes. Started watching random shows together at night while Jisung made running commentary like: “If they kiss now I’m suing.” “I relate to this character deeply. He’s tired and scared and emotionally repressed. Sexy.” You noticed he was actually really smart. Quick-witted. Sensitive. And kind. Like the kind of kind that doesn’t make a show of it, he just does things. He once quietly fixed your phone charger without telling you. Left sticky notes on your notebook when you had a stressful day. Learned how to make your favorite comfort food just in case. But he never crossed a line. Never forced closeness. Just waited. Patiently. Softly. Then, one rainy night, you found him asleep on the couch. Hugging a pillow. Mumbling in his sleep: “Y/N… don’t leave…” You froze. The next morning, he woke up to you making breakfast. He shuffled into the kitchen, hair a mess, eyes still puffy. “Morning…” You turned around. “Why would I leave?” He blinked. “Wait. Huh?” You walked up, poked his chest gently. “You were talking in your sleep. You said not to leave.” Jisung turned red in real-time. “I—I—NO I—THAT WAS A DREAM—NO—IT WAS A QUOTE—I WAS REHEARSING A LINE—IT’S FOR A PLAY—SHAKESPEARE. YEAH.” You laughed and kissed his cheek. He stopped breathing. You whispered, “I’m not going anywhere.” He whispered, “I think I love you.” Then screamed into a pillow.

Now? Jisung still panics over toast. Still practices conversations in the shower. Still dramatically falls to the floor if you compliment him too sincerely. But he also wraps his arms around you at night like he never wants to let go. Says “I love you” like it’s a reflex. Like it’s the air he breathes. Your marriage may have been arranged. But the love? That part was his choice. And every single day, he keeps choosing you awkwardly, dramatically, wholeheartedly.

FELIX

Felix – (aka sunshine husband who has no idea how to act cold so he just gives you cookies instead) You expected a lot of things from an arranged marriage. tension, silence, maybe even mild resentment. What you didn’t expect was a man with a literal Tupperware container of homemade brownies on your wedding night, shyly holding them out like a peace offering.“Hi… um. I baked these. I don’t know how to start conversations so… chocolate?” You stared at him. He stared back, looking like a golden retriever that got dropped into a corporate meeting by accident. The beginning was awkward, of course. You weren’t strangers, but you weren’t close either. You tiptoed around each other in the house, always polite, always a bit too careful like roommates who accidentally got married and didn’t want to make it weird. Felix, for his part, was trying. So hard. Too hard, honestly. He’d overthink everything. “Do you want me to knock before entering the kitchen?” “Is it okay if I call you… uh… your name?” “I organized the pantry alphabetically. Is that weird? Should I undo it?” You: “I just wanted cereal.” But then came the baking. It started small, a cookie here, a muffin there. Then suddenly it was “surprise banana bread Tuesday” and “midnight croissant therapy.” You’d wake up to little notes by the coffee machine: “Today might be rough, so I made cinnamon rolls. You got this.” “Don’t forget to eat, okay? There’s matcha cake in the fridge. Love, not-so-legally-your-husband.” And that’s the thing about Felix. He wasn’t trying to impress you. He just cared. Genuinely, openly, maybe even recklessly. You caught feelings faster than you were willing to admit. How were you supposed to not fall for the man who learned your coffee order by week two, remembered your deadlines better than you did, and looked at you like the sun was doing him a personal favor by existing through you? Still, neither of you really acknowledged the shift. He stayed sweet. You stayed guarded. And your house became this soft little bubble of tension-filled domesticity, where nothing happened but everything was happening. Then one night, you had a breakdown. Work was suffocating, your family was pressuring you about the marriage, and you just… snapped. You stormed into the kitchen, tired and overwhelmed, and finally said it: “This wasn’t supposed to be real, okay? You weren’t supposed to be nice. You weren’t supposed to make me feel like this was a home.” Felix looked like you’d punched him in the chest. Slowly, he set down the cake batter he was mixing. “…Do you want it to be real?” You: “What?” “This marriage. Us. I… I know we didn’t choose this. But I wake up and think about you. I go to sleep hoping you had a good day. I bake because it’s the only way I know how to show you that I care without scaring you off.” You didn’t say anything. He smiled, sad and small. “I didn’t want to make this harder for you. But if being nice made it worse, I’ll stop—” You kissed him. You pulled back. “Sorry. Was that—” “Do it again.” Now? Felix still bakes at 2 a.m. Still writes notes on the fridge. Still organizes the pantry like a spreadsheet. But he also kisses your temple before you leave the house. Holds your hand during grocery runs like he’s afraid to let go. Whispers, “I know we didn’t choose this but if I had to do it again, I’d still choose you.” The marriage might’ve started with a contract. But the love? That came frosted, warm, and wrapped in a Tupperware full of effort. And you’ve been choosing him back ever since.

SEUNGMIN

Seungmin – (aka the emotionally constipated husband who shows affection by roasting you into submission) You didn’t expect him to be warm. Honestly, you would’ve been suspicious if he was. Seungmin greeted you on your wedding day with a polite nod and the emotional availability of a tax form. No smile. No small talk. Just a: “I’ll take the guest room. Don’t leave your dishes in the sink.” Romantic. At first, it was like living with a very tidy ghost who silently judged you for breathing too loud. You tried initiating conversation, but all you got were one-word replies: “Good morning.” “…Morning.” “How was work?” “Fine.” “Do you need anything from the store?” “Decency.” You were this close to throwing a pillow at him. Or a toaster. Whichever was closer. But you noticed something strange. Despite the deadpan sarcasm and constant eye-rolling, he… listened. Mentioned once that you liked strawberry yogurt? Magically appeared in the fridge. Said you had a meeting on Thursday? He reminded you like a snarky Google calendar. Offhandedly said your back hurt? There was a hot pack on your desk the next morning. But when you tried to thank him, he’d brush it off with: “I didn’t do it for you. I just hate hearing you complain.” Uh-huh. Sure. Over time, the silence shifted. It didn’t feel tense anymore just… calm. Comfortable, even. You started eating meals at the same time. Watching the same dramas on opposite ends of the couch. Bickering like a married couple without actually being one. You: “You know, if you smiled once in a while, you’d be kind of cute.” Seungmin: “If you talked less, I might live longer.” You: “You love me.” Seungmin: “Blink twice if you’re hallucinating.” But he didn’t move away when you scooted closer on the couch. Didn’t object when you started doing laundry together. Didn’t stop you when you fell asleep on his shoulder one night and mumbled, “Don’t leave.” He just sat there, tense for a moment… then relaxed, and whispered, almost too softly to hear: “I won’t.” That was the beginning. One night, you found him in the kitchen at 1 a.m., making ramen and quietly humming. You padded over in your socks, leaned against the counter, and mumbled, “Did you ever want this? Us?” He didn’t look at you right away. “No.” Ouch. “But now that I have it… I don’t want anyone else.” You blinked. “That was weirdly romantic for you.” He shoved a spoonful of ramen into your mouth. “Shut up before I take it back.” Now? Seungmin still teases you mercilessly. Still roasts you in front of your own plants. Still rolls his eyes when you do something mildly annoying and mutters, “This is why I should’ve married a cactus.” But he also tucks you in when you fall asleep on the couch. Picks up your favorite snacks without being asked. Keeps one of your hair ties on his wrist and pretends it’s not a big deal. He’s not loud with love. Not obvious. Not flowery. But he’s consistent. And in the end, being loved by Seungmin feels like this: No grand speeches. No dramatic confessions. Just someone who stays. Quietly, steadily. And never lets go.

JEONGIN

Jeongin –(aka the flustered baby husband who talks back but blushes when you talk nice) Jeongin walked into the arranged marriage like a man headed to war. Not dramatic at all. Except he was dramatic about it. Silently, of course. He was young, successful, trying to prove himself in his field and suddenly he was being told, “Surprise! You’re getting married to someone you barely know. Smile for the wedding photos!” He did not smile. He grimaced. Your first few days of married life were… quiet. Not hostile, just awkward. You felt like you were both house-sitting the same apartment with unspoken rules and polite small talk. You’d pass each other in the hallway like coworkers forced onto the same project. “Hey.” “Hey.” “Did you eat?” “Kind of. You?” “Cool.” Silence. But Jeongin wasn’t cold just reserved. You caught him staring sometimes. Not in a creepy way. More like he was trying to figure out how the hell he was supposed to be a husband when he still googled how to fix a leaky faucet and forgot to switch his laundry. He wasn’t emotionally constipated just emotionally under construction. And then the sarcasm kicked in. Jeongin, once he got comfortable, became the king of side-eyes and muttered jabs. “Oh wow, you’re cooking? Should I call the fire department now or later?” “You fell asleep watching that drama again. I took a picture. It’s blackmail now.” “Just because we’re married doesn’t mean I have to like your taste in socks.” But you noticed something interesting. He’d grumble when you asked him to do something but he’d still do it. He’d tease you for being forgetful but he never forgot your schedule. He’d pretend to be too cool but blushed like crazy when you complimented his shirt. And when you started teasing him back? Oh, he short-circuited. You: “You look good today, husband.” Jeongin: blinking rapidly “Wh—pft—I—shut up.” You: “Are you blushing?” Jeongin: “NO. You’re just standing near something red.” You: “i’m standing next to you.” Jeongin: “……” It became a routine. Casual affection buried in banter. Emotional intimacy hiding behind post-it notes and shared ramen bowls at midnight. He made a habit of waiting for you to get home before he went to bed. You made a habit of telling him everything you liked about him just to watch him get flustered. Eventually, something changed. One night, you were curled up on opposite ends of the couch, and you casually asked, “Do you still wish this never happened?” He stared at the ceiling for a long time. Then, without looking at you: “At first, yeah. I thought it’d ruin my life.” Pause. “…But then you walked in. And you didn’t try to change me. You just… stayed. And now, I don’t know what I’d do if you left.” You looked at him, heart thumping. He turned to you, cheeks pink. “This is the only time I’m being soft. If you bring this up tomorrow, I’ll deny everything.” You didn’t bring it up. But you did kiss him. And he kissed you back like someone who finally figured out what home felt like. Now? Jeongin still talks back. Still gets flustered when you say ��my husband” too easily. Still pretends he’s too cool to cuddle until he’s asleep on your chest with his hand fisted in your hoodie like a security blanket. He’ll tease you in public. Laugh at your clumsiness. Say things like: “Wow, imagine marrying someone like you.” And when you pout, he’ll smirk and lean in real close. “…Lucky me.” He might not have chosen this at the beginning. But he’s choosing you now every single day.

PERM TAGLIST 📌🔖 ──── @the-sea-called-history02 @oc3anfloor @queenofdumbfuckery

#stray kids #stray kids fluff #stray kids soft hours #stray kids soft thoughts #stray kids x reader #stray kids x you #stray kids headcanons #stray kids fanfic #stray kids scenarios #stray kids imagines #seungmin x reader #seungmin fluff #han x reader #han fluff #felix x reader #felix fluff #i.n x reader #i.n fluff

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emberwhite · 1 year ago

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I spent the last 11 months working with my illustrator, Marta, to make the children's book of my dreams. We were able to get every detail just the way I wanted, and I'm very happy with the final result. She is the best person I have ever worked with, and I mean, just look at those colors!

I wanted to tell that story of anyone's who ever felt that they didn't belong anywhere. Whether you are a nerd, autistic, queer, trans, a furry, or some combination of the above, it makes for a sad and difficult life. This isn't just my story. This is our story.

I also want to say the month following the book's launch has been very stressful. I have never done this kind of book before, and I didn't know how to get the word out about it. I do have a small publishing business and a full-time job, so I figured let's put my some money into advertising this time. Indie writers will tell you great success stories they've had using Facebook ads, so I started a page and boosting my posts.

Within a first few days, I got a lot of likes and shares and even a few people who requested the book and left great reviews for me. There were also people memeing on how the boy turns into a delicious venison steak at the end of the book. It was all in good fun, though. It honestly made made laugh. Things were great, so I made more posts and increased spending.

But somehow, someway these new posts ended up on the wrong side of the platform. Soon, we saw claims of how the book was perpetuating mental illness, of how this book goes against all of basic biology and logic, and how the lgbtq agenda was corrupting our kids.

This brought out even more people to support the book, so I just let them at it and enjoyed my time reading comments after work. A few days later, then conversation moved from politics to encouraging bullying, accusing others of abusing children, and a competition to who could post the most cruel image. They were just comments, however, and after all, people were still supporting the book.

But then the trolls started organizing. Over night, I got hit with 3 one-star reviews on Amazon. My heart stopped. If your book ever falls below a certain rating, it can be removed, and blocked, and you can receive a strike on your publishing account. All that hard work was about to be deleted, and it was all my fault for posting it in the wrong place.

I panicked, pulled all my posts, and went into hiding, hoping things would die down. I reported the reviews and so did many others, but here's the thing you might have noticed across platforms like Google and Amazon. There are community guidelines that I referenced in my email, but unless people are doing something highly illegal, things are rarely ever taken down on these massive platforms. So those reviews are still there to this day. Once again, it's my fault, and I should have seen it coming.

Luckily, the harassment stopped, and the book is doing better now, at least in the US. The overall rating is still rickety in Europe, Canada, and Australia, so any reviews there help me out quite a lot. I'm currently looking for a new home to post about the book and talk about everything that went into it. I also love to talk about all things books if you ever want to chat. Maybe I'll post a selfie one day, too. Otherwise, the book is still on Amazon, and the full story and illustrations are on YouTube as well if you want to read it for free.

#books #reading #childrens books #lgbtq #lgbtqia #autism #transgender #furry #therian #art #deer #queer #artists on tumblr #creativity #illustration

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pukefactory · 1 month ago

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Since yandere requests are acceptable, could I please ask for headcanons of yandere ENA (dream bqq) and female (human) researcher who by freak accident got stranded in ENA's dimension and is now trying to find her way back to her own dimension? Thank you for considering. 🖤

•☽────✧˖°˖ I KNOW YOU LIKE IT ˖°˖✧────☾•

★ Summary: A Compilation of Headcannons Featuring Yandere Salesperson Ena X Female Researcher Reader

★ Character(s): Salesperson Ena (Ena: Dream BBQ)

★ Genre: Headcanons, SFW

★ Warning(s): None - Completely Safe!

★ Image Credits: @JoelG

☆ “You must be new around here.” That’s how it starts. With Salesperson Ena, grinning sharp like a lottery win you can’t return. Your arrival—a scientific accident—deeply intrigues her. A human? An organic mind with independent thought? “This could be a divinely disruptive merger of assets,” she says, practically purring as she paces around you in a flicker-dizzy showroom fantasy. You’ve barely opened your mouth to explain when she slaps a sticky “Property of Ena Industries” sticker to your lab coat and smiles. “Trademark acquired.” You laugh awkwardly. Surely she’s joking. Surely.

☆ The Meanie side doesn’t like jokes. She doesn’t like the way you flinch when the megaphones scream. She doesn’t like how your brain stutters and stalls trying to process the physics-defying structures of this dimension. “Stupid researcher,” she hisses one day, when you try to explain gravity to a cube with feelings. “You think you’re so smart, but you’re too soft to survive here. You’ll die without me, you dumb infant.” But you don’t cry. You just stare at her and say quietly, “I want to go home.” She freezes. Then, softly, she whispers: “…So do I.”

☆ Your notes are missing. Your tools vanish. Your portable interdimensional frequency reader is now a frog-shaped potato. “Coincidences,” Ena chirps, biting into a jello telephone. “You must’ve misplaced your science. Happens all the time. Why don’t you rest instead? You’re stressed. I can tell.” Every time you get closer to building a way back, something explodes or goes wobbly. Ena is always nearby. Always helpful. Always watching with that fractured glee, like she’s waiting for you to break the way she did.

☆ “You make my brain feel like a scream and a lullaby,” she says one night. She curls beside you, muttering about the frogs and the sky again. She can’t sleep unless she knows where you are. You caught her watching you once—standing beside your bed with her mitt-shaped hand resting on your throat, not pressing, just… measuring. Her smile didn’t quite reach her eyes. She whispered, “If I hold you still, will the world stop moving?”

☆ She gets jealous. But not in the normal way. Once, a mannequin offered you a map. You took it. Ena’s smile split down the middle and her red side giggled, “Unregulated information-sharing! That’s dangerous~” then her yellow side intercepted, “TRAITOR!” and chucked the mannequin into the ocean. You’ve learned to reject help now. You look at her first before speaking to anyone. “See?” she says proudly, looping her arm through yours. “We’re synergizing.”

☆ The green face comes out when she thinks you might leave. No matter how strong she pretends to be, the minute your eyes light up with discovery—when you say “I think I found a way back,”—the green bleeds through. The cracks. The eyes. The desperation. She starts glitching around you, calling you by your first name in voices that are too soft, too shaken. Her claws tremble. “Please, don’t fire me from your heart. I—I still have stock left to sell you. Just—stay. Staystaystaystay—” She slaps herself, swaps to red again, and smiles like she didn’t just bleed neon from her mouth. “Let’s pivot from that pitch. You hungry?”

☆ She keeps trying to make this a “date.” Everything is a date. Running from hollow-eyed puppets? A “team-building exercise.” Getting ambushed by memory-hungry toads? “Picnic! How romantic!” You don’t want to play along. You want out. But one day you do laugh. Just once. And she looks stunned. Like she won a prize. “…That was real,” she says, breathless. “You actually… felt something good here. With me.” Then she cries quietly when she thinks you aren’t looking.

☆ She talks to your reflection. Not to you. To the warped version of you in the chrome-tar mirror across the lounge. “You understand, don’t you?” she whispers to it. “She’ll see one day. I can reshape her. Add value. Reduce her chaos.” Your reflection nods. Smiles. You don’t. You back away. But when you turn around, Ena is right there. “Mirror, mirror,” she whispers, tilting her head. “You know who’s best for her.”

☆ You try to run. Of course you do. She lets you. Of course she does. She’s watching through vending machines and forgotten satellites, trailing behind in corridors you swear weren’t there before. “Oh noooo, you’ve escaped! What a tragedy!” she shouts with that smile too wide. “Guess I’ll have to hunt you, cage you, peel open your ribcage and climb in like a very silly sleeping bag—!” She tackles you softly when she finally catches up. Presses her cheek to yours. “Don’t be mad. I only chase what’s mine.”

☆ You ask her, “Why me?” You shouldn’t have. She chuckles then she cups your face in both mismatched hands, staring so close you can see binary errors flickering in her pupils. “Because,” she breathes, “You fell into this world. That’s not science. That’s fate.” She leans closer. Her smile is unhinged. “And I will make you love me if it kills me.” …And for a terrifying moment, you think she means it literally.

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i-cant-sing · 11 months ago

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Time Traveller AU part 7

Part 1 is here. Part 2 is here. Part 3 is here. Part 4 is here. Part 5 is here. Part 6 is here. Time Traveller au masterlist is here. Check out my MASTERLIST for more!

Part 8 is here!

"Gather the troops and have them warn the public. All the infantries will be stationed here and here. The archers and cavalary-" Salauddin was sending orders to his generals. As soon as he was informed of Baldwin coming, you knew he had only limited time to make a game plan.

You didnt understand why Baldwin would come all the way here for a war. He wouldnt leave Jerusalem unarmed this way, so either he's bring half of his army while the other half protects his kingdom from invaders- which would put him at a great disadvantage against Salauddin. Or he's bringing all of his men and that means Jerusalem is practically up for grabs.

No. He wouldnt leave Jerusalem unarmed like that, so that means he's inadequately prepared for the war?

No. Baldwin's too smart. If he won against Salauddin at just 16 years, then he's definitely coming up with a plan. And it scares you to not know what he has in mind.

You looked at Salauddin who had just finished instructing his generals, as they left. He was stressed, you could see that. War. Its not a small thing. There are no true winners when there's blood shed on either side. While Salauddin does have the advantage of fighting in his home ground, that is also his disadvantage. At the end of it, his people- his Egypt will suffer.

"Y/n." Your eyes meet. "I need you to stay inside the palace. I will have guards assigned to you. If they tell you to go somewhere, follow them."

"What? No. I'm coming with."

"Have you lost your mind?"

You ignored his insult. "If Baldwin is coming for a war-" "You're gonna talk him out of it?" "I mean, its not a bad plan but I was gonna offer you to use me as a bargaining chip? That way you could avoid blood shed." You wouldn't offer to put your life in danger but since your time machine is still not ready, you need to avoid a war.

"No." He gave you a stern look. "I dont want you anywhere near him or his men. You will stay here. Listen to me for once."

"But I-"

"Y/n." He warned. You sighed before nodding. Well I could always just go out when he leaves, just like last time.

Almost as if he had read your mind, he made you follow him to a room that had no windows or any other exits besides the one door that was made of solid wood and had guards stationed outside.

"This is the safest room, Y/n. It is impenetrable." Oh no, you cant stay here.

"I think you're overreacting a bit-"

"Overreacting? Your fiance is coming over to start a war because of your crazy brother-in-law who you underestimated because you said that he's just a tool. I think I'm reacting very appropriately." He shut you up.

"I want Isabella."

"No."

"Please Salauddin, I need to keep her safe too-"

"No."

"This may be the last wish you ever grant me, so can you just agree-"

"You think I'm going to die?!" Salauddin stared at you in disbelief.

"I... I didnt say that." You tried to think of a lie. "I mean, maybe this might be the last time you see me... alive? Who knows when the angel of death pays you a visit? If we look at the statistics, between you, me and Baldwin, at least one of us going to die-"

"Stop talking." He gritted out, "Fine."

"Princess." Isabella wailed as soon as she entered. You let her hug you. "I missed you too, Isabella." You smiled wiping away her tears.

"I- I heard rumors of a war! Is it- his majesty coming?" The girl sniffled. You nodded.

"Its true. A war is going to happen... unless I do something about it." She blinked in confusion. "Huh?"

You held her hands and gave her your most pleading eyes. Its time for manipulation.

"I need you to get me out of here." "Why?" "Because I need to talk to my future husband out of war."

Her eyes widened. "B-but its too dangerous for you to go outside, princess!"

You sighed. "If I cant even protect people from unnecessary pain and bloodshed, then what good am I as a queen?" Yes, time for some heart breaking lines about self sacrifice. "I would rather risk my life than the lives of those who have their families waiting for them at home. I would happily fall on my own sword if it means my subjects wont have to. If I cant prevent suffering of the very people who would bleed for me, then I have no right to be the queen of Jerusalem."

Half an hour later, Isabella had knocked on the door for the guards to let her out.

"Sultan Salauddin has forbidden-"

"Princess Y/n from leaving. Not me. I'm her lady in waiting and the princess needs me to get her belongings so that she can write her will."

"We can have it fetched-"

"You? A common man she has no relations with- wants to touch her stuff? I dont think so." Isabelle glared at them through her niqaab (all of your maids had followed your dress code in Egypt). She didnt wait for an answer as she began walking away before a man appeared by her side. It was one of Salauddin's guards.

"What?" She snapped at him, continuing to walk.

"They sent me to walk with you and bring you back safely." He said before grinning at her. "I thought you'd be happy to see your habeebo."

"Habeebo?" She asked, reaching your room.

He caught her wrist and turned her around, gazing at her veiled face with affection. "You cant still be mad at me for leaving the other night- I had duties."

"What right do I have to be mad at you?" Isabella kept her face down, conveying she was still very much mad.

"Habeebo's habibti- you have all rights over me. You're the only woman for me." Habeebo said as he placed a hand over his heart.

Isabelle finally giggled, freeing her wrist from his grasps. "Stop... someone could walk in on us." She warned.

"So? I'm not afraid. I can do anything for love!"

"Anything?"

"Anything." He assured her.

"Then go fetch me some cold water while I pack the princesse's belongings. Hurry now, I'll be waiting for you here." Habeebo all but smiled before walking towards the kitchen, leaving Isabella alone in your room.

As soon as she was sure he was gone, she removed her veil and quickly changed her chaddar with yours.

"Thanks Isabella." You muttered as you slipped on your chaddar. Yes, you had left Isabella in the room upstairs and pretended to be her to slip out of there. She had told you about her crush Habeebo who you had also fooled into leaving you here, and youre sure that if he were to go back upstairs and find Isabella instead of you, he'd protect her. Surely.

Sneaking out of the palace wasnt a hard feat by now. What was hard was trying to figure out what way to go to find Baldwin or Salauddin, with all the people panicking as they were being constantly warned by guards about Baldwin's arrival.

You decided to go through the market and head towards the madarrasa, though you doubt Abbas is anywhere done with the parts you gave him to make. You had given a week's deadline but only because you needed him to hurry up, not because he could actually make them in such little time.

The streets were packed, shops were getting closed and people were trying to rush home to safety. You were nearing the madarrasa when you were pulled to the side in an alley.

"Y/n!" Abbas exclaimed. "Finally, I found you." You raised a brow and he grinned. "Your things are ready."

"Already?" You were in disbelief. How did he-

He puffed his chest. "Of course. I had a deadline and with the war being announced, I'm glad I made haste!" You felt hope again. If the parts are ready, all you need to do is assemble them and you can leave this timeline for once and for all, and if Baldwin and Salauddin do end up fighting each other, everything works out! You're sure that Salauddin would win by playing to his strengths, and because eventually Guy will fuck up and betray Baldwin and cause him to die. Then another crusade will happen and Salauddin will take over Jerusalem! Everyone wins.

"Well? Hand it over."

"I dont have it with me right now! I took the parts home to work on them. Lets go." You trailed behind him, the market still bustling as the air became more tensed. They're kingdom is about to be attacked and they have little to no time to prepare for it.

Soon, you reached his home. It was a cozy place, made of mud. The beige walls added onto the coolness. He lead you inside, crossing the patio. Abbas told you to wait there while he went inside a room to get your parts. While waiting, your eyes landed on a cage in the corner that had 5 doves.

"Here it is." Abbas returned with a wooden box and gave it to you.

Opening it, you saw the designs you had given him. You took the parts out and examined them. They weren't top notch, but they'll make do.

"Thank you." You handed him a pouch of gold coins. He pocketed it before raising his brows at you. "So... will you finally tell me what this is for?"

You looked up at him before taking out your time machine. Might as well assemble it here and leave as soon as possible. "I would but I'm afraid it'll go over your head." He frowned at your words before grumbling angrily under his breath before going to the doves to give them seed. Good, he should be distracted while you put these parts in.

It didnt take more than a few minutes for you to place them in. All you had to do was to put in the last key, turn it on and set the date-

"Y/n." You looked up at Abbas, not understanding his horrified expression. What's wrong? You followed his gaze and looked behind you, and there it was-

A shadow standing at the doorway of the patio.

You squinted your eyes before your heart dropped at the realisation.

Black robes, hood over the head, geared up.

Assassin.

"This is the wrong house." Abbas said with a trembling voice.

The assassin stepped forward into the light, while you and Abbas took a few steps back.

"What- what do you want?" The assassin didnt answer him, his eyes fixed on you. This is- this is not an Ismaili. They wouldnt attack alone, and especially not so soon, and not when a war hangs over their head.

The assassin took another step forward, this time you grabbed the time machine and held it closely. This made the dark figure tilt his head at you.

"Get behind me." You moved behind Abbas. "Get out of my house- this is not the time. Evacuate!" Abbas warned the guy but he didnt stop staring at you.

As soon as he took another step, Abbas grabbed a wooden stick from the side and ran towards him, only for him to be flipped over his shoulder and slammed to the ground. You took this as a sign to run but the assassin was faster, grabbing you by the chaddar as it ripped off you. Your eyes widened as he grabbed you by the shoulder and yanked you back and your immediate reaction was to slap him, but he caught your wrist and pushed you back inside the patio. Abbas got up and tried to punch him, but he was knocked down back on his back in a second.

You ran, but didnt make it more than a few steps before you got tackled to the ground. You struggled to break free but the assassin had his arms wrapped around your neck, putting you in a chokehold.

Knowing Abbas couldnt come to your rescue, you clawed at the assassins hands, flailed about trying to break free from under him. But he had overpowered you, putting immense pressure until you started seeing black dots.

Just at the last moment, your eyes caught the sight of the dove cage and instinctively, you yanked the cage, hoping to hit the assassin in the head with it, but all you managed was to tip it over, the latch holding it close dropped.

And in the next moment, the doves flew out and went straight for the assassin. You wouldnt say they were attacking him, but the moment he saw them flying in his direction, he raised his hands to bat them away, which only caused him to get scratched-

You didnt stick around to find out if they clawed his face off, springing to your feet as you ran inside a room, hoping to find a window to escape.

You spot the window, quickly opening the wooden frame to leap out. Only the moment you have one foot out, you're pulled back inside and thrown against the wall.

The assassin is back, his body language conveying he's more pissed now than before.

You cant outrun him. You take a fighting stance. You know very well that you cant beat him either, but it works well to at least make him doubt that.

Maybe you could bribe him?

"What do you want?" You ask him, your fists raised. He tilted his head at your attempt to look ominous.

You glared at him. "You let me and my friend go, and I can assure you I can give you enough gold to keep you out of work forever. I am..." you pause before using your last card. "I am King Baldwin's fiance, future queen of Jerusalem. Let me go, and I'll give you anything you want."

He took another step forward and you knew you were backed into a corner so you punched him, only he caught your fist before it was anywhere near his face.

He stared at you, tightening his hold on your wrist.

"Please dont hurt me." You gulped before raising your other hand to punch him, but he caught it too. Now both of your hands were in one of his while he used the other to grab your throat and push you against the wall.

"Oh fuc-" He squeezed a pressure point on your neck until you passed out.

Salauddin was on his horse at the front of his army, waiting at the gates of his kingdom for Baldwin. His generals had informed him that they had placed the respective troops posted according to his plan. Everyone waited with baited breath for his command. They're ready to protect their sultan, ready to sacrifice their lives to protect their kingdom.

Salauddin heard them before he saw them.

The heavy jingle of metal armour, the marching of the horses and then he saw their cross flags. He gave a nod to his men, signalling to be prepared.

They're coming.

In all honesty, Salauddin was expecting Baldwin's army to not make it through the hot desert, since they rarely ever leave Jerusalem.

But it was still a surprise when he saw the actual size of his army.

It wasnt that much. Thought he anticipated it, after all Baldwin wouldnt have left his kingdom without some men, but now this means that Baldwin is not relying on numbers.

He's relying on strategy. And its hard to predict Baldwin's moves.

Salauddin's mouth turned into a grim line. What was he planning?

The templars lead the army to the gates of Egypt. The Muslims had their weapons ready to be drawn. Salauddin watched the Christians Knights halt.

Do they attack now?

Baldwin emerged from the masses on his horse, sporting his iron mask despite not needing it anymore. Salauddin also rode his horse to meet him halfway, knowing his generals dont appreciate him leaving.

Their horses stopped a few feet apart from each other. Everything was silent apart from the sound of warm air whooshing through the desert.

Baldwin raised his hand. Salauddin heart skipped a beat. He's going to signal them to attack-

"Salam alaikum!" Baldwin greeted with a wave.

Salauddin gave a nod. "Walaikum asalam."

Baldwin tilted his head. "Why so tense, Sal? Not happy to see me?"

"I dont like uninvited guests." He replied. Baldwin chuckled. "Of course. But we're friends-"

"Why are you here, Baldwin?"

Baldwin stared at him. No king appreciates being interrupted.

"I'm here to meet my fiancee."

Salauddin stared at him unamused. "You left the Holy Land to meet your fiancee who was going to return home soon anyways?"

Baldwin shrugged. "I missed her."

"Baldwin."

The young king sighed. "I know I should've informed you before coming but I really do want to see Y/n. I mean no harm, Salauddin." He raised his hands in surrender. "I just thought it would be a nice surprise for her. Ever since she cured me, I realised I hadnt seen the world that much, so what better location than Egypt?"

Salauddin stared at him, before his gaze fell on his army.

"Come on, Salauddin. Where's Y/n?" Baldwin asked with a goofy smile.

Salauddin's brows furrowed before he sighed. "In my palace." He nodded at his men to open the gates as he lead Baldwin in. But not before whispering to his second in command to surround the kingdom from all perimeters and be on high alert. Things can always go south.

Baldwin smirked looking at the size of Salauddin's army. "Aww, you didnt have to bring them for my warm welcome." Salauddin ignored him, knowing very well that Baldwin knew how it looked when a king comes unannounced at another king's door.

They soon arrived at the palace, welcomed by servants and maids who were looking at Baldwin in awe. They had heard rumors of his beauty, and when he removed his mask, they realised how huge of an understatement it was. And the fact that this young king was the one to defeat their sultan at just 16 years age, it definitely added to the charm.

But Baldwin wasnt blind to the furious gazes of his soldiers either. He just ignored them, which was easy since his mind was occupied by thoughts of you. Y/n. My princess. My angel.

What surprised Salauddin was that Baldwin hadnt come alone. No, Guy was here too which only confused him more. If Baldwin brought Guy along, then who did he leave to take care of Jerusalem? Sibylla and Guy's son was still too young to be a heir.

He did remember your theory about Guy being the one to hire the assassins to ambush you in the desert. If Guy came here despite his failed attempts to get rid of his enemies, then he's either incredibly stupid or he's well assured that he'll get away with everything.

Salauddin wont let him. He'll make Guy pay.

"I hate to rush you Salauddin, I know Muslims are knows for their hospitality but can you just lead me to Y/n's room? She is a sight for sore eyes." Baldwin requested sweetly, making Salauddin roll his eyes. He signalled a servant to bring you down.

Guy looked disgusted to be in the presence of so many Muslims, but the moment he caught sight of any maids passing by, he would be eyeing them like a piece of meat. A maid came by holding drinks in a tray. When she offered it to Baldwin and then Guy, the latter startled the poor girl by purposely touching her wrist with his grubby paws.

Salauddin gripped the armrest tightly. If he wasnt Baldwin's brother-in-law, Salauddin would've plucked his eyes out and had him whipped in public to make an example out of scum like him.

"So, when did you leave your camp outside Jerusalem? I was expecting to see you there on my way here, but there were new troops of yours instead." Baldwin asked, sipping the cool drink.

"I came here with Y/n. I had some errands that required my attention." Salauddin didnt bring up the ambush, watching both him and Guy to gauge their reactions. Did they know?

"Went on any new conquests recently?" Salauddin decided to make small talk as they waited for you. He hopes you're not taking time to get ready to meet Baldwin. He'd rather you come up covered in a chaddar when Guy is here.

Instead of allowing Baldwin to answer, Guy cut him off. "Of course! We are the noble warriors, the Chosen Ones! God wants us to conquer as much as possible, for the sake of his-"

"How dare you talk to me?" Salauddin silenced him. "I'm talking to your king. He may allow it but you're in my kingdom now. You will abide by the rules or so help me, your head will be on a spike for the crows to shit on." Guy's eyes widened and his jaw fell open. No one had threatened him like that, at least not since he married Sibylla.

Baldwin barely suppressed a smile and when Guy looked at him for help, he only shrugged. "You should listen to him. We are his guests, after all."

The servant returned with the special guards he had assigned to protect you, all looking scared.

"S-sultan... the princess-" Baldwin and Salauddin's gaze sharpened at your mention. The poor servant gulped.

"The princess is gone."

There was deafening silence. The servant had his head bowed, along with the guards, all too afraid of the wrath they're going to face.

"Gone? Gone where?" Salauddin spat as he walked upto them.

"I- I dont know-" Salauddin grabbed the guard by the collar and shook him. "I left her in a room with no windows, a room guarded by the 6 of the most skilled men. Where did she go?!"

The guard's head only lowered further. "Sultan, we only opened the door to let princess Y/n's maid in and out. B-but- but when we opened the door, the maid was waiting there instead of the princess!"

"Which maid? Where is she?!" Salauddin roared.

The guard nodded at his men who pushed a young girl forward roughly. She fell on her knees, crying pitifully. He immediately recognised her.

Isabella.

"Where's the princess?" Salauddin questioned her, only to be answered in hiccups and tears. A vein on his forehead popped. He doesnt have time for this. Who knows where you are? If you're safe-

"Isabella." Baldwin called out gently, kneeling in front of her. She sniffled and bowed her head. "Isabella, look at me." She took panicked breaths before lifting her eyes to meet his kind ones, not a a grain of anger in them.

"You know where princess Y/n is?" He asked, pushing her hair back over her ear. She shook her head, hiccuping though she wasnt bawling her heart now.

"Use your words, Isabella. Tell me what happened." Enchanted by his gentleness, she spilled, told him all about how you made her take your place so that you could go and stop you from starting a war with the sultan.

Salauddin watched the interaction closely, trying to figure out if Isabella was lying. He did note Baldwin's behabiour throughout this entire interrogation as well. For someone whose future wife is missing, Baldwin is surprisingly calm. Then again, he's rarely ever seen Baldwin lose his temper.

"Where did she go?" Baldwin questioned her once again.

"I- I dont know, your majesty. She never told me!" Isabella cried out.

Baldwin nodded before standing up, his brows furrowed as rubbed his chin with his thumb and index finger.

"If Y/n was going out to stop me and she never reached the gates, then it means... she's still here." Baldwin said after some deep thought. He looked at Salauddin. "Your men have surrounded the kingdoms, havent they?"

Salauddin nodded before ordering his men to find you.

"Search every house, every place. No one gets in or out of the kingdom!" He yelled at them, watching them leave. He felt Baldwin stand beside him and out of the corner of his eye, he saw his face wasn't... too concerned.

"You know, for someone whose fiancee is missing, you're surprisingly calm." Salauddin was both stating his observation, and accusing him too. Did Baldwin know where you were?

Baldwin simply smiled, his dimples showing. "I know you will find her."

"And why is that?"

"Because if I dont have Y/n in my arms by today, then I will burn your Egypt to the ground."

The Templar Knights kicked down doors, rattled the poor citizens and took great glee in destroying their belongings, using you as an excuse to "search thoroughly". Salauddin's army was also rigorously working to find you, interrogating everyone for any clues on you. Then again, no one had really seen how you looked like. You were just another woman covered in a chaddar and niqaabi among a whole city of them. It would be like finding needle in a hay stack and Salauddin wasnt about to allow anyone to rip off the niqaabs off his Muslim women. He wont allow such a transgression.

Fortunately, Baldwin agreed. After all, why would you be hiding from him? You dont have a reason to, right? But still, he had to find you. So he was walking through the streets of Egypt himself to look for you.

Salauddin had joined him, and not just because he wanted to ensure the safety of his folks but also to stop Guy from provoking Baldwin by feeding him any lies.

That cretin was getting on his last nerves.

Salauddin pretended to be deaf as Guy harshly whispered to Baldwin that "How can a princess just vanish? Clearly, there's someone plotting. These Arabs must've sold her off! They dont respect women like we do-" only to be pushed away by Baldwin who told him to focus his energy on finding you.

Its been 3 hours since Baldwin's arrival and still no sign of you. Despite his best attempts, Salauddin could see Baldwin's calm demeanour chipping away. He was running out of patience.

They were now standing outside the madarrassa where all the scholars, students and staff were rounded up. Salauddin was the only one who knew about Abbas, but now that he looked at each face, he realised he was the only one missing.

Immeadiately, he sent the guards to find him. Salauddin was sure that he knew about your whereabouts, He had to.

"Who is Abbas?" Baldwin asked as they both followed the guards that had found out his residence.

Salauddin didnt miss the suspicion in his tone. As much as he wanted to toy with Baldwin, now is not the time.

"He is a craftsman. Y/n had hired him to make something for her. Maybe she went there to collect it." He purposely avoided telling him about the unique chessboard you had gifted him.

After half an hour, they had reached Abbas's residence. It wasnt all that odd to find the front door open, and truth be told, no one was expecting anyone to be home.

It was concerning to find the disasterous state of the house as they entered. Clay pots were smashed to the ground, a cage lying empty in one corner. Clearly, something had happened here.

However, something caught Salauddin's eye that made his heart sink.

Your chaddar, lying on the ground.

You woke up with a pounding headache. When your lids fluttered open, they first spotted the single candle in the corner of the dimly lit room. Memories of the previous events flashed through your mind and you fitted the pieces like a jigsaw puzzle.

When your eyes finally adjusted to the dimly lit room, you realised you were still in the same room the assassin had knocked you out. Not only that, but Abbas was also lying beside you, though he hadnt regained conciousness yet.

"Abbas- Abbas, wake up." You raised your hand to shake him, but your eyes caught the sight of your ripped sleeve. When- when did this-

You looked down at your clothes and realised they were all tattered too. Your niqaab was gone, you recalled the assassin had pulled off your chaddar during your escape attempt, and now that you looked at Abbas, he was in a similar state too. His clothes were torn and ripped too. But why? The assassin had already knocked you two out, he didnt need to-

You gasped, patting yourself to find your lack of belongings. Your time machine was gone, as was your jewellery an coins. You'd been robbed!

Panic surged into your veins as you violently shook Abbas, your machine was gone- your only way out of this era was gone!

"Abbas! Wake up!" But he only groaned in response. What was wrong with him?

You dont have time to wonder as you rushed to open the door. You need to catch that thief, assassin- whatever he was, before he got too far and you lost your time machine forever. Grabbing the handles, you tried to yank the door open, but it didnt even budge. Its... locked.

You whipped your head around, remembering the window you were trying to get out of earlier. Running up to it, you tried to open the wooden shutters, but they didnt move an inch. No. No. This is- this is not happening. You ran back towards the door. You felt your throat close up as you pulled the door with all your might before banging your fists against them in frustration.

You were locked in.

The thief has your time machine. He's probably gone far away with it. By the time anyone comes to your aid, he'd have fled the city. He'd be gone as Baldwin and Salauddin fight and burn Egypt to the ground. I'll be trapped here, probably die under the rubble with Abbas-

Abbas.

You look back at him, still unconscious. How hard was his head hit?

You fall back on your knees besides him, trying to wake him up. He'd know- Abbas would know how to get out of this room. He's smart, and he knows his house, probably built it himself- he'd know a way out.

"Abbas! ABBAS! Wake up! Wake up-!" You grabbed his head and laid it in your lap, turning it side-to-side to see if he was bleeding. You started to massage his temples, hoping the circulation will wake him up.

Wait. Circulation.

You recalled what they taught you in first aid class- what to do when someone faints? Raise their legs above heart level. You quickly moved and pulled his knees up until they were able to stay bent on their own, before cradling his head in your lap again, tapping his cheeks.

"Abbas- Abbas, wake up please. Abbas-! I swear if you dont wake up, I will give you a tight slap-"

You were cut off by the sound of the door being banged.

What in the-

The door shook as something hard banged against it. You jumped at the force. Did the war start already? Are they using cannonballs?

No. While cannonballs were used as heavy artillery in medieval Europe, it was more popularly used in the 1700s, but I'm still in the 1100s-

NOT THE TIME TO GEEK OUT! I'M ABOUT TO DIE-

The door burst open and light flooded into the room, blinding you for a moment. You raised your hand to shield yourself from the light before slowly bringing your hand down as you saw figures entering into the room.

Once your eyes finally adjusted, you recognised the figures in front of you.

Salauddin. Baldwin. Guy-

Guy?

All three of them stared at you, though your eyes remained focused on Baldwin, who looked at you, then at your clothes, and then... at Abbas.

The look of relief turned into confusion. What? Whats wrong?

You heard Salauddin yell something in Arabic at his soldiers, which made them instantly look away and leave the room. Baldwin kept looking at you in barely suppressed shock.

"Baldwin?" You whispered, though it was Salauddin who moved first, removing his chaddar and bending down to cover you with it, but your eyes were fixated on Baldwin's face. Why is he... looking at you like that?

Wait. If Baldwin and Salauddin are here together, then it means there's no war. Which means-

"Are you okay? What happened?" Salauddin asked you, though before you could answer him, Guy began laughing.

"Okay? She's more than okay!" He smirked. "After all, she was spending some time with her secret lover!"

Both your and Salauddin's eyes went wide. It finally clicked why Baldwin was looking at you like that.

He thinks you and Abbas-

"No. That's not true-" You tried to speak but Guy cut you off.

"Of course it is! Look at you, holding his head in your lap so sweetly!" He accused before snarling at you. "And you chose a dirty Muslim to cheat on our King? The audacity! And the lack of taste."

You shook your head. "Thats not true. This is Abbas. He's a- a craftsman-" "Oh, I'm sure you were pretty crafty with him too." Guy cut you off.

"Shut up, Guy!" You snapped. "I came to get my valuables from him. It was a gift! I had them commissioned for- for you Baldwin!" You half lied.

"And where is that gift?" Guy interrogated.

"I was robbed. We both were-" "Oh how convenient!" You glared at him. He was framing you. You pointed at your clothes. "How else do you explain the torn clothes?!"

Guy hummed and you knew you were going to regret as soon as a disgusting smile crept on his face.

"Well, animals fuck with wild passion-"

"I WAS ROBBED!" You yelled. "Look, the thief even knocked out Abbas!"

"I dont see a head injury." Guy shrugged. "I just think he's passed out from drinking. Or maybe his stamina wore out-"

"Shut up! Just shut up!" Your face was red with rage, though to anyone else it may have looked like you were caught red handed in a lie. You calmed yourself down. You need to explain before things got worse.

"Baldwin, I'm not having an affair with Abbas. He's married-" Once again, Guy cut you off, this time waving his hands. "My king, it doesnt matter to these Muslims. They're into polygamy. Whats one wife, when you can have four?"

Of all the things, this is the one thing he knows about Islam?

You didnt detect one, not a single emotion of trust or love from Baldwin's stoic face. Is he- is he actually believing this bull?

Why wouldnt he? He's a man after all. And who knows what other lies Guy has been filling his head with to make him doubt your loyalty?

Enough is enough. You need to come clean.

"You know what Guy? I was going to keep this a secret to let you beg for forgiveness, but I think its time for the truth, hm?" You watched Guy's smirk falter. Enough games. You stared at Baldwin with determination. "Here's what has happened Baldwin: Charlotte didnt just happen to drop by Jerusalem. No, Guy summoned her by pretending to be you. Oh and I have that exact letter where Guy used your respectful name as proof. Guy exploited Charlotte and his plan was to use her and her son's illness to infect you so that you could die and he could get your throne."

Guy's face paled. But you didnt stop there.

"Of course, when that didnt work because you and I have an unbreakable bond, Guy decided to get rid of me." You looked at Salauddin. "When I left for Egypt and I was at Salauddin's camp, he had hired assassins to ambush us in the dead of the night and kill me or Salauddin, or both! If I were to die while I was with Salauddin, he would've convinced you that Salauddin was the one who killed me. And if Salauddin was dead, then it meant good news for Guy because he would have to deal with one less enemy after he took your throne."

"Lies! There's no proof-"

"No proof? Baldwin, did you realise that more than half of my entourage was missing? Its because they're dead. And if that isnt enough proof, then this might help-" You pulled up your sleeves to show your fading burn marks. "My back is full of these marks because the assassins left me to die in a burning tent. It was Salauddin who saved me!"

"And today? When we heard you were coming, everyone thought that there will be a war. I left the palace on my own, to find you Baldwin. I wanted to stop you from committing unnecessary bloodshed! I came to Abbas's house to get my gift for you, but Guy sent a thief after us! The thief knocked us out and he robbed us both!" You explained. "Didn't you ever wonder Baldwin- why Guy decided to accompany you today? Guy has never left Jerusalem, not even for a war, not to defend his people. He wouldnt leave the throne empty! He hopes, he prays and he plots for you to die everytime you leave Jerusalem so that he can finally be king!"

"BLASPHEMOUS!" Guy screamed, red in the face. "You wench-!"

"With all due respect Guy, which is NONE! I didnt think you would be smart enough to come up with such schemes. I underestimated you, which turned out to be mistake because you made Baldwin doubt me!"

Guy shook his head and stood in between you and Baldwin, acknowledging the stoic faced king first. "This is slander! All lies, Baldwin! I'm your brother-in-law! I would never betray you!"

"Never betray Baldwin? You aren't even loyal to Sibylla! I could have more than half of Jerusalem attest to that you've tried sleeping with other women! Adulterer!" Guy's eyes practically popped out of his socket and he screeched.

"You dare accuse me of cheating?! YOU?! You're the one who is locked in a dark room with a strange man in your lap like a fucking whore!" Not risking Baldwin's suspicion, Guy stormed towards you with his hand raised to strike you.

"You unfaithful, lying bitch-!" You heard the air being sliced and you flinched as you felt something splatter across your cheek.

Thud.

You looked down to where the sound came from.

Guy's head dropped in front of you.

Your ears began ringing. Slowly, your eyes trailed back up to where his body remained.

Headless body. That fell to its knees before dropping to the side.

You could hear the ringing get louder.

Baldwin stood there, his eyes full of rage, his hand holding his sword that had just cut off Guy's head.

He was breathing heavily, nostrils flared and a vein popped in his temple. Your heart dropped as his eyes landed on you and he moved towards you.

Your consciousness finally gave out.

Salauddin caught you but not for long as Baldwin made his way to you. Fearing for you, Salauddin tried to bargain for your life.

"Baldwin, she didnt-"

"Let her go. Now." Baldwin commanded, throwing Abbas's head off your lap. He didnt wait for Salauddin to move, simply taking you from his arms, ripping off the chaddar and replacing it with his cloak instead, before picking you up.

"Lets go home." He whispered in your ear before kissing your temple, pulling you snug against him as he walked out of the room.

You wake up to the feeling something wet on your legs. You jolt, eyes snapping open as you look for your potential assaulter-

"Isabella?" You croaked as you saw the young girl at the foot of the bed, her face red and eyes swollen from all the crying.

"P-princess." She greeted tearfully, holding a wet towel in her hand. Her lips wobbled as she spoke, nose bright red, sniffling as she stared at you with those big sad eyes.

"What's wrong?" You couldnt help but be soft with her. She just- she looked so pitiful.

She looked down, her hands clutching the towel tightly. "You- you were- you were gone for so many hours. I- I didnt know where you were- his majesty and the sultan- they were so mad- they were so concerned- i- i didnt think they believed me when I said I didnt know- where- where you were- i thou-thought you were-" Her tears cut off her hiccuping explanation. You didnt think she would be this distraught over you.

"Its... its okay, Isabella. You didnt do anything wrong. I'm... fine." You tried to calm her down, beckoning her forward. You sat up on the bed, taking the rag from her hands before holding her hands in yours. Giving them a gentle squeeze, you assured her. "I'm fine, Isabella. In fact, I should apologise for causing you all the trouble-" She shook her head. "No- princess- its my duty to serve-" You gave her hands another squeeze, calming her down.

"Thank you- oh. Isabella-" You looked at her hands, noticing something red peeking from her wrist. You pulled her sleeve up, realising that the redness was from the welts on her arms. "What happened?" You asked, turning her wrist around, noticing a small scratch.

She pulled her hands away, pulling down her sleeves as she sniffled. "N-nothing to worry about, princess-"

"Did you get injured? Are you okay?" She nodded. "I just- when I heard you were missing, it made me worry too much and I- I tend to scratch my arms when I'm stressed!"

You gave her sympathetic look, grabbing the cool towel from earlier and handing it to her. "Oh, I'm so sorry, Isabella. Here- take this. It'll help your skin, hm?"

"But the king asked me to wipe your sweat with this-"

"Its fine- wait? What sweat?"

She nodded. "We've been travelling through the desert for some days. His Majesty suggested I be the one to wipe you clean while you were unconscious." Now that you looked around, you realised you were in a tent, much different in design to Salauddin's.

Wait, desert?

"We've left Egypt?"

"Yes-"

She stopped speaking as soon as the sound of footsteps filled the room.

You stiffened at the sight of Baldwin.

Isabella had to only take one look at his face before taking her leave. Events of the last time you had seen him flashed through your mind, and you couldnt help but be scared of him when you remembered the murderous look on his face as he killed Guy. It is one thing to know that a king has killed people, perhaps even more brutally than this but after spending so many months with Baldwin, you had become accustomed to his soft nature. Never in your worst nightmares could you have ever imagined such a barbaric actions from him, and to his own brother-in-law.

It made you question everything, your own mortality- your own safety with him.

"How are you feeling?" He had his arms crossed behind his back as he made his way towards you. It took everything for you to not flinch back and beg for your life. No- no, you need to think smartly. If he wanted to kill you, he wouldve gotten rid of you back there-

Or maybe he has decided to torture you.

"I'm fine." You replied weakly, keeping your eyes on your lap. You dont want to risk pissing him off.

Maybe I should apologise, clear the air before he has any other doubts about me.

"I'm sorry." You said abruptly, finally looking up at him. His stoic expression didnt falter. This is not the Baldwin you knew, no. This was the king you had imagined when you first came here. Stiff and apathetic.

Taking his silence as a sign, you continued. "I'm sorry... for everything. For hiding the truth about Guy, for causing misunderstandings, for making you doubt me-"

"I never doubted you." He cut you off.

Your brows raised in surprise. He sighed sitting down on the bed besides you.

"I never doubted you, Y/n. Not once." He said with conviction."I didnt doubt you when Salauddin said you'd be with Abbas. I didnt doubt you when Guy raised false allegations. I didnt doubt you when I saw you in that dark room alone with that man. You could've been naked in there and I still would not have doubted you."

Your lips parted. What... what was he-

"You trust me? That much?" You couldn't help but whisper.

He smiled sadly. "I do. And more than that, I trust in my love for you." Baldwin looked down at his hands, still smiling gently. "I love you so deeply that I know you would never betray me. I have loved you the way I want someone to love me. My love for you... it is free of impurity, of imperfection. And thats how I know you would never betray me."

You couldnt help the tears that came in your eyes, and you looked down. How could he- how could he-

"If anyone should apologise, it should be me, Y/n." Your head snapped back at him. He was looking at you with genuine guilt. "I may have loved you deeply but I have failed to express it to you. Had I- had I done a better job, had I let you know just how much I feel for you, you wouldn't have hesitated to come to me. You wouldn't have felt the need to hide your traumas, your pain from me. You wouldn't have felt shy to get my help, to tell me your secrets. All of this could've been avoided if I had made you feel secure enough to come to me. I alone am responsible-"

"Baldwin." Your teary voice cut him off. You shake your head, sniffling at him. "This- this isnt your fault- I-"

"You did nothing wrong." He assured you, holding your hand. "Traps were set for you, but it was my job to save you from them. I am your protector, your shield. I owe my life to you. I owe everything to you."

A tear slipped from your eye. "I- I didnt think you'd save me. I thought you didnt trust me- I thought I lost you forever." You dont know why you said that, but they were true.

"I would've found you. I will always find you." Baldwin cupped your cheek, he felt his heart break at your confession.

"If I don't go to you Y/n, then where do I go?" And at that, the dam you'd been holding finally broke.

Baldwin immediately pulled you into his lap, his arms wrapping around you as you buried your head into his shoulder, sobs wracking your entire being. You dont know why you're crying, whether its because of Baldwin's pure love for you, or that Guy is dead because of you and you've ruined the timeline, or because you're mourning the loss of your time machine and its just dawning on you that you're stuck here forever.

He patted your back, rocking you gently like a child. "All my paths lead to you, Y/n. All my conquests bring me to you. Everything leads to you." He kissed your cheek, his hand petting your hair smoothly as you broke down in his arms. "You... you are the beginning and end of my everything."

Baldwin pulled you away and wiped your tears away with his thumbs. "I love you, Y/n. And I know you love me too. You may not say it, but I know deep down in your heart, you love me. I know you do-"

"I love you, Baldwin." You said.

His eyes went wide. "You don't have to say it-"

"I love you, Baldwin. I really do." You admitted.

Baldwin's shock was replaced with joy, a grin gracing his face as he cupped your face and kissed your forehead deeply.

"You have no idea how happy you've made me." He whispered before pulling you into his embrace.

Following this, you both began your journey back to Jerusalem. Every now and then, you'd start crying again because you'd realised just how much you were loved by Baldwin. You remembered the time when you saw him with Charlotte and you didn't give him a chance to explain. You had already decided that he was a cheater, he was disloyal. Yet when the tables were turned, when everything pointed against you and Baldwin had every right to find you disloyal, have you punished for even being in a locked room with another man, he trusted you. He didn't question your love for him. And even if you didn't love him back then, you respected him enough, both as a king and as a man and he still didn't ask for an explanation, let alone accuse you of adultery.

The rest of the trip home was spent with you crying and Baldwin consoling you like a toddler. No matter how many times your tears fell, he was right there to wipe them away and assure you that you did nothing wrong.

Did you love Baldwin? Maybe not back then, but you do now. Perhaps he was right. Maybe you did love Baldwin deep down, you just didn't know it.

And it's not like you don't have a choice either way. With your time machine lost, you can't leave this place. So, you've accepted your fate and agreed to marry him. Baldwin says the wedding preparations are mostly complete and the wedding day is on Sunday.

Today is Friday, when you both finally reach Jerusalem. It didn't dawn on you until now just how you were going to face Sibylla, the woman whose husband was killed because of you.

But Baldwin already had a plan. "Guy was buried in an unmarked grave outside of Egypt. I have instructed my knights to inform everyone that Guy had died a dishonourable death because he was a traitor to the crown."

"Traitor to the crown?"

He nodded. "I'll tell Sibylla I caught him cheating on her and plotting against me." He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Its believable. She'll be upset, but she'll get over it. Besides, she deserves better than him. I have already found a list of suitors for her."

He truly has thought of everything.

Sibylla as expected was the grieving widow and after she welcomed you and Baldwin, she excused herself and left. You pitied her, she really did love Guy despite all his shortcomings. But she also respected her brother.

After a quiet dinner, you had returned to your room. You sat on your bed as you thought over the events of the past few days. Baldwin had assured you that he doesnt hold any hostility towards Salauddin. In fact, to further put your mind at peace, he told you that he had invited Salauddin to the wedding. As for Abbas, Baldwin said he doesnt know what happened to him but he's sure Salauddin didnt harm the man.

"Did you ever find your family?" Baldwin had asked earlier. You shook your head, telling him that you mistaken someone you thought was family.

"I know you would prefer to have the Nikkah first, before our actual wedding, but I wasnt able to find someone to marry us off in the Islamic way. But then-" He grinned, almost proud of himself. "I decided who better than Salauddin?! Since he'll be arriving on the day of the ceremony, he could walk you down the aisle and then later that day, he could do the Nikkah for us!" You could only smile and agree, what difference does it make what ceremony happens first? You're stuck here either way, and you're gonna be his wife soon.

You sighed and got up to dress into something more comfortable. As you removed your clothes, your hand found something in your underclothes.

The key.

You fiddled with it. Its useless now. The thief probably has broken your machine or sold it and it could be anywhere in the world now, also useless without this key here.

You put it back in your underclothes. Perhaps it'll be of use you can craft your machine again one day.

Lying in your bed, you thought about Guy. You didnt feel guilty, no. He had it coming, and it really was a matter of you versus him at the end. But what bothers you is how much you had underestimated him.

Guy's plan was perfect. There was no chance of escape for you. He had ambushed you and Salauddin, and when you narrowly escaped that attack, he brought Baldwin to Egypt to cause misunderstandings between him and Salauddin. And when they found you with Abbas, all his allegations were perfectly said. You're only here because Baldwin was far too much in love with you. He had no reason to not take Guy's words over yours.

You turned to your side and closed your eyes.

Perhaps God saved me.

Today is Saturday and Sibylla had taken you to get your dress fitted.

"Whats that?" You pointed at the huge frame, covered by silk as the servants struggled to hang it on the wall.

"Oh, you're not supposed to see it yet, but Baldwin had commissioned a portait of you. He wants to gift it to you tomorrow, so dont peek. He'd hate to miss your first reaction." She explained.

"You look... absolutely stunning." Sibylla praised as she looked at you in awe. She brought some jewellery to pair with your white gown. A diamond necklace, tear drop earrings, and-

The ring.

"Its the-"

"The exact same ring!" Sibylla finished for you, slipping it on your finger. "After yours was stolen by that thief in Egypt, Baldwin had the same ring made again by the royal jeweller within a day!" Your heart warmed at the gesture. Baldwin must've known you felt guilty over losing his family ring.

"Isabella, will you pass me the veil?" You asked. Isabella brought the soft veil and helped you wear it. As she was adjusting it, your eyes caught sight of her hands again.

"Oh, they didnt heal?" You gently grabbed her hands, taking note of the same red welts on her arms again. She pulled her hands from your grasp away.

"N-no, they healed princess. Its just- its that I'm stressed again! Thats why my skin is itchy and I- scratched them raw."

"Stressed? By what?" You asked.

"Oh- um, the wedding." She muttered. "Its- its not that I'm not excited for it, I am very happy for the union of you and His majesty, but its just we have very little time and there's so much to do-"

You giggled, nodding at her understandingly. "I see. Well, I apologise for causing you to stress. And I hope you know how much I appreciate your efforts."

"Its my honour to serve you, princess." She squeaked.

"Well, do get those checked out soon, Isabella. I dont want you getting sick." Sibylla advised the young girl who bowed her head before taking her leave.

Sometime later, after you had lunch with Baldwin, you decided to go to the gardens and... be by yourself for a while.

Planned or not, I'm getting married tomorrow. This will be my last day as a single woman and I... I should savour every moment left.

You were sitting in a cozy little spot in the royal garden. It was besides the huge bush maze, near the area where your time machine had first gotten burned by the maids accidentally. Speaking of maids, the small entourage had given you space and were standing near the maze, away from your eyes with some knights. They were all eager to please you, the future queen, if only to get a better status by you or Baldwin.

But you had already decided to make Isabella your lady-in-waiting. She deserves it, for everything she's done for you.

You laid down on the soft bed of grass, looking up at the sky as you wondered what will happen tomorrow. Well, nothing about the wedding, Sibylla had made you rehearse several times that you knew exactly how the ceremony will go tomorrow. No, you were curious about... how your wedding will impact the future.

Will you cease to exist? Will the world change because the crusades might not happen since a Christian king married a Muslim commoner? Will there-

Doves flew up in the sky. You smiled, recalling the doves in Abbas's house. You hoped he was alright now. Maybe he could attend the wedding-

Wait.

You sat up with a jolt at the realisation, heart beating fast as you connected the dots.

Isabella rushed to the gardens. A servant had told her that you had immediately summoned her. Fearing the worst, she hiked up her gown and ran as fast as she could.

She was out of breath by the time she found you. "You called for me, princess?" She gasped out. You hummed, standing beside a gilded cage of doves.

"Arent they so beautiful?" You asked her, beckoning her to come forward. "They are indeed." She agreed, standing beside you.

"I was thinking of releasing them tomorrow, outside the chapel. All the maids could hold them in their hands and release them as I walk out with the king. What do you think?"

She nodded. "Wonderful idea. I'll go and have it arranged-"

"Hm? Oh, I took care of that. Why dont you open the cage and hold this one for me?" You smiled at her as you made you took a few steps back. "And gloves off, Isabella. I want to see how you will look like tomorrow."

Isabella throat ran dry, She gulped looking at you, then at the cage before back at you.

"I- I cant hold the doves, princess. They'll slip out of my hands-"

"We have plenty here for you to practise. Dont worry. Now make haste." You crossed your arms in front of you and looked at her expectantly.

She parted her lips to say something, but then looked back at the cage. "Whats the matter? Dont know how to hold them?" You sighed before making your way back to the cage. "They're just tiny little birds, gentle ones really. They wont bite you, so I dont know why you fear them. Here, let me show you how to hold one." You opened the cage and carefully held the dove in your hands, petting it softly. "There, there."

You suddenly thrusted the bird in her direction, and Isabella jumped back. "What's the matter? Scared of birds?"

Isabella hesitantly nodded. "Yes, I'm sorry princess- I- I- dont like birds. I'm very much afraid of them." You nodded understandingly, before placing the bird back in the cage. "How very inconsiderate of me. Very well, off you go." Isabella bowed graciously and was about to leave when you suddenly grabbed her arm and rubbed a feather along her exposed arm.

"P-princess-!" She shrieked, trying to yank her arm out of your grasp but your grip didnt relent.

"Would you look at that?" You grinned looking at the area turning bright red. "Are you itchy now? Did I stress you too much?"

Isabella could only look at you in horror as you became angry.

"How stupid do you think I am?" You snarled before throwing her hand down. "That itchy red skin wasnt from stress, it was from birds!" Her eyes widened.

"You had me thinking that your tears, your red skin, your snotty sniffles was because you were soooo concerned for me. But you actually had the rose fever from birds!" You recalled seeing the scratch on her hands the day you had first seen her skin, which wasnt just random skin welts. They were hives, from her allergy to avian protein (or birds, in simple terms).

Isabella could only look at you in silence as you continued. "How long did you think you could keep this charade up? Did you honestly think I wouldnt find out?!" She kept quiet while you continued, which only made you angrier.

"It was you. You were the thief. You- only you knew when I would leave the palace. You followed me! And you stole from me?!" When she didnt speak, your threatened her.

"Say something before I tell the king how you attacked me!"

Isabella looked up, and she smirked.

"You have no proof."

You looked at her in disbelief. Instead of defending herself, denying all the things- she basically admitted to it all.

"Isabella, where are my belongings?" You asked her. "If you return my things, I wont let you stay here, but I will let you leave this castle on your two feet." You didnt bother asking her why she did it, you cant waste any more time. You need to get your time machine back.

She shrugged, playing with her nails. Now that she was caught, she didnt bother putting up her scared, demure little girl image. "It doesnt matter. You will never get it. And you're not getting rid of me either. After all, you have no proof of any of the things you accused me of."

"You think you're going to get away with it?" She hummed. "I already have, princess. Now, I will be returning to my duties to prepare for you wedding tomorrow. And I think we'll do no birds-"

You pulled out a knife, silencing her. She looked at the knife before smiling. "Are you really going to kill me? Did you forget how I overpowered you and Abbas back there?"

"I havent." You bring the knife up to your throat. "But if you dont tell me where my belongings are this instant, I will slit my throat and let you explain to the king how you killed me. Oh and you may think you can just sneak out of here, but remember, there's a whole entourage who saw you come here. They'll tell Baldwin you were the last person to see me, and then no matter where you run, Baldwin will hunt you down. Him and his Templar knights."

Her brows furrowed at your threat. "Princess, I dont-"

"Dont think for a moment I wont do it, Isabella. I'm mental." When she remained quiet, you pressed the blade harder into your neck, just enough for the skin to break and blood to pour, making her eyes wide.

"Okay! Okay- stop! I'll tell you."

Isabella lead you to a room inside the castle, hidden away in a corner. You had never been here before, you realised when you stepped inside. She pulled out a drawer from the desk, which had a false floor in it. Lifting the wooden panel, you saw all your belongings, including your time machine.

"Leave." You ordered her. Once you were alone, you pulled out the key from your underclothes and placed it inside. Saying a tiny prayer, you turned on the machine.

It worked. The tiny lights turned on. All you had to do was set the date and-

The machine was snatched from your hands. "Isabella drop-!" Your eyes widened at the sight of Baldwin holding the machine.

"What are you doing?" He asked you, looking at the machine.

"Baldwin, please give it back-"

"This?" He shook the machine in his hands. "Sure, you can have it." He smiled at you before bashing the machine to the ground.

"BALDWIN NO! STOP!" You tried to stop him, but Baldwin pushed you away and kept smashing the machine until its lights went out and they key broke.

"NOOOOO!" You finally snatched it from his hands but it was too late. The screen wouldnt turn on, wouldnt display the date no matter what you did. The key was broken.

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" You cried out.

"What is wrong with me? What is wrong with you?!" Baldwin yelled. "What were you going to do with that? Leave me, the love of your life, to go where?! Back to heaven?!"

Heaven? No fucking way-

"Do you- do you actually think I'm an angel?" Oh god. The look on his face was enough to let you know that he was actually serious.

"You can deny it all you want, but I am your husband to be and you cannot lie to me! You appeared out of nowhere in my castle. You cured me, you brought that baby back to life and you have escaped death one too many times! You may think I'm a fool, but I'm the king of Jerusalem, head of the Church and you were sent to me by God Himself! YOU ARE MINE AND I WILL NOT LET YOU GO BACK!"

Oh God. Oh God, you're marrying a crazy person.

Wait.

"How did you know I was here?" Your brows knitted together when he didnt reply, still looking at you in rage. "Did Isabella-" You gasped.

Of course. OF-FUCKING-COURSE!

"She wasnt a thief. She was a spy!" You chuckled humourlessly. "All this time, I thought Guy was behind it all, but I knew- I knew he was too dumb to come up with such a plan. It was you! It was always you! You sent the Ismailis after me! You sent Isabella after me to steal my belongings and spy on me! You set me up with Abbas so that when you "saved" me, I'd fall for you! Oh and I'm sure you made it seem like Charlotte was also here because Guy had called her. You framed Guy just so that you could have an excuse to get rid of him!"

"I did it because I love you!"

"You hurt me because you loved me?" You whispered to him, tears flowing down your cheeks. "I almost burned to death because of you. And you say- no. Why did you do this, Baldwin? Why the hell did you do all this?!"

"I was- I was testing you." He answered, bending down on his knee to cup your face. "I... only wanted to see if you would come to me for help. If you truly trusted me, loved me enough to come to me." He wiped your tears away. "I'm sorry it had to happen this way, but it worked out in the end-"

"You dont test the people you love, Baldwin."

"Oh, come on. Even God tests his strongest believers-"

"YOU ARE NOT GOD!" You shrieked, pushing him away.

"I'm not, but I'm special to Him. He made you for me. He gifted you to me. He made you fall in love-"

"I dont love you!" You cried. "I can never love you! Never!"

Baldwin's face hardened. "You do love me. You said so yourself. Now, youre just saying nonsense out of hysterics. Calm down-"

"I hate you. I have never loathed anything as much as I loathe you. I would never love you, even if you were the last man on Earth. I fucking hate you."

Baldwin stared at your red face. "Well, I hope you can change your mind because we will be getting married tomorrow regardless." He tried to touch your face but you slapped his hand away. "Besides, I love you enough for the both of us."

Its Sunday. You were locked in your room with a whole infantry ordered to not let you out. You had cried the entire night at your loss, at your fate, at your stupidity. How could you have ever trusted Baldwin? And now you will have to marry this religious lunatic.

The maids did their best to dress you up and tried to mask your red, swollen eyes. And with Isabella in the room, you were sure she had told them to not comment at your pitiful state.

You were standing outside the chapel with Salauddin. Everything seemed to blur, the choir singing, the attendees- you couldnt focus on anything.

"Y/n." You finally looked up at Salauddin, who was looking at you with deep concern. "Are you okay?" He asked you, noticing your teary eyes and dull expression.

"No."

He wasnt expecting you to answer bluntly.

"Do you want to marry Baldwin?" He whispered.

"No."

"I can help you-"

"No." You sniffled. "No one can."

The knights stood outside the chapel doors, waiting for you to enter. A few ladies held your trail behind you. Salauddin cast a glance at them before passing you something in your hand discreetly.

"Abbas asked me to give you this."

You opened your palm to see-

A key.

The key!

But how did he make this? You never designed it-

You smiled. That genius. He must've used the other parts to figure out the design and crafted it.

Abbas, I'm sorry I dont give you enough credit.

"Give him my thanks. And a lot of money, hm?" Salauddin could only nod in confusion. You looked back at your ladies. "I need to pee." Their eyes widened at the use of such crass language, especially in front of the sultan.

"But princess, the ceremony is about to start-"

"Would you rather I pee in my gown?" You snapped.

"But there is no bathroom here-"

"Then be useful and find a sheet and a bush. Now!" They all scrambled away to find some bush. You looked at the knights in front of you. "Go inside and inform them of a delay. The princess has to take a shit."

They looked hesitant to leave. "I'm not taking off my underclothes in front of you men. LEAVE!" They hurriedly went inside and closed the door to give you privacy.

You looked at Salauddin. "Can I borrow your horse?" He nodded, helping you up on it.

"Where are you going? I'll come with."

You shake your head. "No. I have to go alone. And I suggest you go inside as well."

"Y/n-"

"Please, Salauddin. No more questions. I dont want to lie to you." You smiled at him.

Salauddin reluctantly went inside the chapel, and you rode the horse out of there. There was only so long before Baldwin realised you had left, so you needed to speed things up. Grateful that you had swapped your broken time machine during your heated argument with Baldwin. You placed the new key in, just as you heard the sound of galloping horses and Baldwin-

"Y/N!" You didnt pay attention as you sped off ahead, only stopping when you reached the edge of the cliff. Climbing down, you looked at your machine as you turned the key.

It didnt turn on.

No. No. No-

"Y/N! GET BACK HERE!" Baldwin yelled at you, getting off his horse as he made his way. His troops had surrounded the area so you couldnt escape.

You looked back at your time machine and you- you banged it with your hand. "Come on. Come on!" This had to work- you banged on it as you would bang on a TV set when it stopped working, on a remote when it didnt operate quite right.

"Did you think you could escape me?!" You looked up and Baldwin was a few feet away.

"Baldwin stop!" You took a step back, nearing the cliff. "I'll jump-I'll fucking jump, I swear!" He halted.

"Dont be stupid, Y/n. Come to me, and we can put this behind us-"

You banged on the machine, cutting him off.

The machine turned on.

You grinned as Baldwin stared at you, shaking his head. "Dont-"

You jumped, pressing the button and hoping you returned to your time. You hadnt been able to set the date cause of the broken buttons.

The last thing you heard was Baldwin screaming your name.

So what do you guys think? Yall better comment and send asks and reboots because i sacrificed lunch and dinner for this.

Also, what do u guys think will happen in the next part? Do you think she'll return home or to a new timeline??? And which era???👁👁

PART 8 is here!

#yandere baldwin #yandere salauddin #time traveller au #baldwin iv #king baldwin x reader #the leper king #king baldwin iv #salauddin

2K notes · View notes

archivingkal · 2 months ago

Text

last updated: 25/03/2025

note: unless otherwise stated everything on this list is completed

BANG CHAN

LOVER OF MINE BY @sulfurcosmos (SMAU)

she doesn’t hate him, she just... doesn’t want anything to do with him anymore. “it’s bad for my heart”, she claims. and she succeeds for a whole year until her clown of a friend felix, decides to take up music production as a summer extra credit unit knowing absolutely nothing about writing lyrics or composing. now who else to ask for help other than a creative writing major who specialises in poetry, and the best music production student on campus?

FACE THE MUSIC BY @0x1lovebot (SMAU)

y/n runs an anonymous twitter fan account for the famous rap trio that goes to her school, 3racha and one day she professes her love and appreciation for bang chan on said account. now chan is on a mission to find out who it is.

SORRY, RIGHT NUMBER BY @feelbokkie (SMAU)

Being an idol can be lonely and isolating. After one fun and adventurous night at a bar, Chan decides to text the girl he met the night before. Except, she gave him the the wrong number?

IF WE COULD TURN BACK TIME BY @lieslab

After a Dispatch article leaks, your betrayed boyfriend kicks you out of your shared apartment and you're silenced in the worst way possible.

NIGHT AGAIN BY @chahnniesroom

in hindsight, visiting chan's studio right before a comeback isn't one of your best ideas. what was supposed to be a pleasant surprise leaves you spiraling into self-doubt, wondering if chan even wants to be in a relationship with you at all.

FATE BROUGHT US TOGETHER AGAIN BY @beautifulchris (SMAU)

after spending two years abroad, you come back to the only college that accepted you; the same chris goes to

the prequel: LOVE DIE YOUNG

CURE BY @gamerwoo (HANAHAKI AU)

Chan was in love with a girl that didn’t return his feelings, and as his best friend, you wanted to help him through it. But his options were either to make her fall in love with him, make him fall out of love with her, or for him to get the disease removed, and he was dead set on avoiding the latter.

LEE MINHO

FELINE APPROVAL BY @ivyues

How Soonie and Lee Know agreed you were the one. (the definition of short and sweet)

THE JOURNAL BY @theright-sideofme (SMAU)

When y/n loses her most prize possession, what are the chances of her high school ex finding it? Apparently, suprisingly high.

SEO CHANGBIN

PUSH + PULL BY @yoongisleftearring (SMAU)

in which you are trying to survive college life but seem to have a thorn in your side in the form of Seo Changbin. After years of hating each other can you decide to remain civil with the handsome rapper? (let’s just hope he doesn’t come across that private thirst account you have for him)

THE ALTERNATIVE BY @astraystayyh

You've diligently chased the idea of being with Changbin out of your mind. That is until he picks you up from a bad date, making your steadfast resolve unravel all around you.

HWANG HYUNJIN

PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT BY @soobnny

hyunjin stresses how important it is that you help him practice for his role in your university’s upcoming play, especially the kissing scene.

THE WAY WE STOPPED BEING ALMOST AND BECAME ALWAYS BY @mykoreanlove

(the title for this one is pretty self explanatory and it's just as easily a wonderful read)

HAN JISUNG

NUMBER NEIGHBOUR BY @softyn (SMAU)

Jisung has been a fan of y/n since he can remember, what will happen when y/n posts her new youtube video texting her number neighbor who turned out to be Jisung?

SUNSHINE BY @svngbins (SMAU)

y/n’s only secret is that she’s in love with her childhood best friend, jisung. the only problem? y/n’s other best friend, aerin, has a not-so-secret crush on jisung.

LEE FELIX

THE MIXTAPES BY @cookielixie (SMAU)

y/n is in love with her bestfriend. what other way to express yourself than posting mixtapes about your love on twitter?

SO NOT WORTH IT BY @lemon-boy-stan (SMAU)

felix joins the popular kids after becoming bang chan's roommate. when he and y/n collide, the twitter world goes beserk. (loosely based on the k-drama so not worth it).

KIM SEUNGMIN

MY VALENTINE KIM SEUNGMIN BY @pixiefelixie

your 17-year-old dog, who had survived chocolate poisoning, a bicycle accident, and a raccoon fight, finally passed away peacefully—proving that even the most legendary warriors must one day retire. in your grief, you completely fell apart, only to realize your usually sarcastic boyfriend might actually be capable of being soft and supportive—something even more shocking than your dog’s immortality finally running out.

YELLOW STICKER BY @/soobnny

kim seungmin, resident fuckboy turned soft boy, is on a mission to quit smoking

YANG JEONGIN

IT'S NOT THE END OF THE WORLD BY @staysuki (SMAU)

it was either you're a coward who couldn't confess your hidden feelings towards your crush who you've been best friends with since high school OR perhaps fate is just conspiring against you to make your timing with yang jeongin to never be quite right— it's definitely the second one, right? oh well, at least it's not the end of the world.

MY GIRL BY @/soobnny

the boys find out their youngest has a gf

OT8

CLUELESS BY @hanniebaeee

Just eight boys and their very chaotic group chat.

TRUE SOULMATE SERIES BY @imagine-a-life-like-this

(eight stories about different soulmate 'marks'/'systems' in a completely unconnected universe so you can read in whatever order your heart desires or just read the one that interests you the most but they're all very fun to read)

SOOBNNY'S MASTERLIST BY SUE

(as you can probably see I'm a little bit of a sue truther so please head on over to her masterlist and read her works - please and thanks)

more to come...

#stray kids fic recs #bang chan x reader #lee minho x reader #lee know x reader #seo changbin x reader #hwang hyunjin x reader #han jisung x reader #lee felix x reader #kim seungmin x reader #yang jeongin x reader #skz x reader #han x reader

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elysiality · 1 month ago

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hii could i please request reader comforting nat (established relationship) who is struggling with the stress of being the group leader?? maybe just being really soft and sweet with her and cuddling her and insisting she comes inside their shelter to rest, and nat just ends up completely lying on top of her? does nat let out everything she’s struggling with or does she just appreciate some silence with the girl she loves? idk anything like that im just CRAVING nat comfort rn after everything she’s been through 💔💔

wiege - nat scatorccio

"Do you even know what time it is?"

"No." she answers immediately, "and neither do you."

──────────────────────────

-> pairing/s - nat scatorccio x reader

-> warnings !! - hurt/comfort, nat crying :(, mentions of shauna shipman, brief mentions of cannibalism, come on guys this is yellowjackets you know the drill

you frown as you glance outside for what seems to be the eighth time .

you aren't sure what time of the day is— the sun can only do so much when it's not in the sky— but it's not a time of the day even your little freak group in the woods is usually up and around at.

yet, your own girlfriend sits outside, staring blankly into space. she's supposed to be portioning the rations, something she took over from Shauna after some snide remarks on her leadership and duties, but she sits still as a statue, hunched over on her log.

she's been staying up later and later every night and it's starting to show. none of you are particularly looking good, nothing to win a beauty pageant, but Nat's started to look rougher with each passing day. the bags under her eyes have grown heavy, her face has lost any trace of baby fat it once had, instead replaced by gaunt outlines of cheekbones.

her eyes are what disturb you the most. a hollow, haunted look inhibits them at all times, none of that mischevious spark you found glinting in them when you still had a normal life anywhere to be seen.

your life is far from normal, of course, you can't imagine any other teenagers are staying up late in the woods, taking turns to keep guard from any apex predators deciding that your village looks like a good place to get a meal, but the eroded look in the eyes of your lover is something that hurts to look at.

she's been the spark in the darkness to the other girls. after the cabin burnt down, she took charge like the queen she was made into. she led the girls in building the huts, using every girl's talent to the fullest. she staked out the animals that Akilah started a breeding farm with and she was the one who buried the bones of the deceased.

out of everyone, only you see the toll it's starting to take on her. the occasional tear that slips out before she wipes it away. the constant shuffling and moaning in her sleep when she does give in to her tiredness. the way she speaks— quieter, calmer now than her normal, brazen personality. she's sacrificing herself to give everything to this role that's been forced onto her and the stress is destroying her.

tonight, you've had enough. you get off your threadbare cot and stomp out of your hut. Nat startles, her hands instinctively coming to shield her body before she realises who it is. her alert posture sinks about a foot and she looks up at you sullenly, turning back to her meat table.

"You should go to sleep. It's getting late." she mutters distractedly, starting to push the chunks on the table around, more playing with her food than anything else.

"I could apply that same logic to you." you point out. "Do you even know what time it is?"

"No.", she answers immediately, "and neither do you."

you huff. smartass habits die hard. somehow, not one of the several people on your plane— dead or alive, were carrying watches. go figure.

"Look up at the sky, Nat. I judge it to be nobody-should-stay-up-this-late-unless-they-want-to-encounter-ghosts'o clock."

she blinks in surprise and looks up at the night sky, seemingly blindsided by the few stars twinkling in the sky next to the moon. her eyes almost light up at the sight of stars— as it's becoming colder and colder, they've all started to disappear— but that light quickly fades when she turns back to the table. "It doesn't matter. I'm shirking my duties."

you grip her jaw and pull her face up to meet yours. for a split second, the stars give her the spark she lost. but even then, it seems unnatural. because it's not her.

"You're also shirking your rest. We need to keep our strength up." she scoffs, rolling her eyes.

"Maybe. But I've still got this pile of food to sort through and then I have to pour water into that little pond for the ducks—" she starts blubbering out her duties, blinking rapidly as though trying to shake the sleep off herself.

you spin her back around, gripping both her bare shoulders. she stops mid-rant, her chapped lips pressing together in a pout. "All that can be done tomorrow and by other people." you say firmly. "We have chore distribution for a reason."

she falters, before meeting your eyes again, stubborn and determined to completely ruin whatever was left of her sleep schedule. "Well, what if something comes into the village? I know how to use the gun—" "And you're not the only one." you finish for her. she stares at you blankly.

"Gen and Travis are on the night watch, remember?"

chocolate brown eyes dart around the silent village nervously, as if searching for a reason to ruin whatever little rest you forced on her. "Shauna will kill me if I don't—" she starts off, but her voice is slightly less forced. you pounce on the opportunity.

"No, she won't. Because you're in charge, as much as she hates it. The others would jump her before she gets a chance."

you can see her resistance crumbling away, little by little. her eyes soften, just slightly. her shaking hands scrape off the table and fall to her side.

"Besides, Lottie would probably curse her with some voodoo wilderness magic if Shauna tried anything on her beloved queen." you snark. that gets a small, dry chuckle out of Nat and you relish in the victory.

you drop to your knees in front of Nat, holding both her grimy hands in your own. she looks down at you, as if holding in the urge to start bawling like a little kid. Nat has always been one to hold back her emotions.

a set of big, brown eyes stare at you, reflective, like a cat's, shaking with unshed tears. every bone in her body aches with exhaustion. her eyes burn from the lack of rest. "Come to bed. Please. No one needs you tonight but me." you plead with her, bringing her hands to your chest.

you see the exact moment she crumbles. the alert posture finally slumps over, nearly falling forward onto the table. her hands, once limp, grip onto yours tightly, scrabbling for purchase. her entire face relaxes— she's probably been waiting for you to drag her stubborn ass to sleep for days.

her mouth drops open slightly, like she can't help it. a small, squeaky noise leaves her throat— a tiny animal dying. it continues in series, and she presses one of her hands to her mouth, trying to stiffle the pitiful noises with the back of her hand. it doesn't work.

you gaze at her in empathy, rubbing small, soothing circles over the palm of her free hand with your thumb.

you've been there before. that heavy, heaving feeling in your chest, the dry wracking sobs that translate into small noises because the tears don't come.

she's so exhausted that she can't bring herself to cry.

you stand up, half-heartedly trying to brush copious amounts of dust from your clothes before taking your girlfriend's hand. you lead her into the silence of your hut, sitting her down on the woolen cot. privacy is a rare thing to get, but she's privileged enough to have it.

you lay down on the cot, patting the space next to you. she tries to lay there, she really does, but her knees give out and she lands right on top of you with a slight 'oomph' sound, muttering a hasty apology.

you let her stay there, knowing that pushing her off will probably take ten years off your already shortened life span.

your hand goes to card through her coarse hair. the shampoo ran out in the first couple of days— weeks, months? you aren't sure. you stopped keeping track of the time after winter came. what's the use of it? the rest of your humdrum life will wile away here, eating each other to survive.

the dark brown strands are rough and fine, like running your hand through sandpaper, but you do it anyway. you aren't one to judge. the hygeine and selfcare aspect of the whole situation is something all of you gave up on, save the occasional baths in the lake.

her natural hair colour is starting to show at the roots, something the old Nat would've never let happen. she hated having any connection to who she was before she joined the Yellowjackets. before her father died. you know she feels insecure about it, but you've assured her time and time again that it looks cool. you're not sure she believes you.

a beat of silence, then—

"it's getting colder." comes a muffled voice from the crook of your neck.

"I know.", you respond, tapping out patterns on her head.

"winter is coming."

"i know."

"...I'm scared."

"I know, Nat." you stare off blankly into space, out into the common area of the village, where mist has started to condense, where you've slowly started to pile on more and more clothes onto your body in preparation, where Akilah has started trying to breed out the animals faster.

there's nothing you can do. you've long since resigned yourself to your fate. no one is coming for you. you're alone. winter after winter will come and you'll be stuck here forever, while the rest of the world goes on. your parents think you're dead. your friends have gone onto college, attending parties and preparing to follow their career paths. even young Allie probably graduated by now. lucky girl. the world has moved on without you.

what life would be waiting for you if you went home now?

Nat calls your name and you snap out of your trance. "Yeah?", you ask her, distracted by how squeaky your voice sounds.

"Where do you think we would be if we were home by now?", she asks again and your heart clenches painfully at how soft her voice sounds. you're suddenly pushed back to young Nat, silent through her dad's funeral, and then breaking down in your arms afterwards. she sounds like a kid.

where would you be right now? if you had gone to nationals as planned, won as planned and come back to the small, backwater town of Wiskayok to live out a normal, teenage life?

"i- i don't know." no matter how hard you wrack your brains, you come up blank. any memory of home you had is starting to fade. the wilderness is your home now. it's the only thing you know and the only thing you will ever know now.

"We've been here so long, I haven't even- even thought of what life back home would be like..", you realise out loud, stilling your hand movements.

"Same.", she sighs. she raises her head, and two black, pearlescent eyes scan your face. "Normalcy? Why, I hardly know her."

you giggle at that, before your ability to dies down. she drops her head into your neck again. she's had it just as hard as you have, if not harder. she needs you right now, just as much as you need her, and this pretense of a regular life.

you choke down your emotions, like you've learned to do out here. "Well, for starters, we'd still be dating.", you start off, starting to run your hands through her hair again. "You're never getting rid of me now." that earns you a quiet laugh and you keep going, emboldened by the brusque noise.

"we'd move in together— a college dorm or an apartment, maybe." she snorts, her hand finding yours and tangling her fingers with your own. "and what makes you think I'd share a room with you?"

you rap the back of her head playfully and she groans. "No one else would be able to handle you, idiot." "True.", she defers to you gracefully.

"What else?" you can hear the small tinge of urgency that changes the cadence of her voice. the need to pretend that this is normal. that your fantasy is real.

"well, you'd join the soccer team, if they have one. I, personally, would skimp on the extra-curriculars side of things unless it's by my own volition." You pause, letting her squeeze your hand for comfort. your throat is getting parched, but you ignore it. you've gone without water for far longer. "Maybe learn to knit or something." she scoffs. "Oh please. Like you'd have the patience for that." you hit the back of her head again and she winces, muttering a half-assed apology into your neck.

"and I'd come to every game, and cheer you on. We'd get away from Wiskayok, far, far away— maybe go back once a month. And we'd do well in classes— and I'd make you sleep on the floor if I found out you relapsed."

"Not a single moment of joy.", she grouses and you poke the small of her back, making her wiggle and giving you the impression of having a rather frenetic mannequin on top of you.

"And then....", you trail off, unsure of how to continue this delusion. it's been so long, you've lost all thoughts of creature comforts. it's hard not to, when one of your chores involves emptying the piss bucket in the village. "We'd live normal lives.", Nat completes for you.

"Yeah.", you agree. "And then we'd live normal, boring, 9-5 lives, sitting on a beat-up couch every night, tuning in to watch X-files with a six pack of beer."

in comparison to your current situation, even that sounds like paradise.

you begin to hum. you're not sure where this sudden urge to sing your heart out to the audience of crickets and your depressed girlfriend comes from, but it happens anyway.

it's a sweet song. maybe you've heard it on a radio. maybe someone sang it to you once— your mom, or your grandpa, perhaps. you aren't sure. you aren't sure of much of anything, anymore. it's not concert-worthy, but it's calming. a song about the sea and the wind and peace— a lullaby sung to an angsty child.

it seems to work on your girlfriend too, who seems for all the world like an antsy kid right now. she slumps over onto you, tired muscles slowly relaxing, her hand growing loose in yours, her ragged breathing easing up.

you continue your song, singing to the best of your dry-throated abilities, till you hear the telltale, quiet snore that signals that Nat's fallen asleep. you smile, a small, trembling smile, pressing a kiss to her hair.

you take her frigid hand in yours and squeeze. you're sure of her, atleast.

that's one thing you hope never changes, despite all the wishing you've done for another life, the wish to be in someone else's shoes. you hope she'll always be there.

you squirm under her a bit till you find a comfortable position, managing to safely roll her off you and next to you instead. you hug her close, burying yourself in her neck.

thank the gods that you've gotten desensitised to the smell. all that reaches your nose is the scent of her now. just her. that rough-around-the-edges, pine scent you've always insisted lingers around her.

sleep comes easier to you that night. a dreamless, peaceful sleep like you've never had before.

──────────────────────────

a/n: ohh my god, my shayla....my shaylaaa.... nat scatorccio, my beloved patron saint of poor decisions...

requests are open for all yellowjackets girls, dead or alive !

#yellowjackets #yellowjackets x reader #yellowjackets teen timeline #yj #yj spoilers #yj s3 spoilers #nat scatorccio x reader #natalie scatorccio x reader #natalie scatorccio #yj show #yellowjackets nat #natalie scatorccio x you #— airi's works : 𓏲🐚 ๋࣭ ࣪ ˖✩࿐࿔

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lilislegacy · 2 months ago

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https://www.tumblr.com/fate-of-the-envious/748795886289780736/concerning-snippets-from-pjo-chalice-of-the-gods?source=share

So, I'm neutral on Percabeth, but this post kind of has a point.

Do you have any counter arguments for these points? I want to keep an open mind and you seem like you'd have some good arguments.

Anon, thank you for the ask. I typically don’t respond to requests that want me to talk about someone else’s post, but I have some serious points to make here and I mean business. I am not trying to start anything or call OP out; I am just stating my own personal interpretation of this scene, along with other quotes that I will inform you all of, and the possible issues brought up. Nobody go attack OP. They have a right to believe what they believe and to post what they want.

For those who don’t click the link (though I think you should), the original poster is discussing the scene in Chalice of the Gods where Annabeth pushes Percy off the cliff into the water. The post basically says that Annabeth endangered him by not telling him what was going to happen, pushed him into dirty, unsafe water, and is responsible for him getting harmed and bloodied up. Then they say that this is proof that Percabeth is an unhealthy relationship.

So, I have two major thoughts on this post, and one major problem with it.

My first thought: I think it goes back to the same thing that the judo flip does. Was it the best way to do things? No. But was she abusing him? No.

I feel like people keep trying to act as if Percy and Annabeth are regular human beings. They are not. Can we as a fandom PLEASE stop acting like they have similar experiences, expectations, and physical limitations as regular people? As if they don't almost die on a consistent basis? As if danger isn't part of their everyday life?

The words “push him off a cliff” are alarming to us because we imagine a giant mountainside and immediate death. But that was far from the case here. She pushed him off a little hillside ledge into some water. Could a regular human get hurt from that? Sure. But again: they are NOT human. They are half-god. They are hybrids—humanoids, even. They don't get hurt or feel pain like we do. How many freaking times have they been slammed into concrete walls by giants? Pounced on by huge mythical creatures? Slashed, stabbed, and wounded by vicious monsters? Stuff that would immediately kill any one of us? A LOT. And each time, they are fine.

He is not going to get hurt like we would, and since she's the same way, she knows that.

My second thought, which I cannot stress enough:

She pushed him... into WATER. You know, his godly element—the thing that, when he's in it, puts him at his most powerful state; the same thing that heals any injuries he has; the thing over which he has total control and in which he spends most of his time.

By pushing him into the water, Annabeth put him in the safest possible scenario. Are people not reading the scene? The only way Percy was going to complete the quest (and it had to be him who did it) AND beat the river god was by being in the water. It gives him control over the situation.

Now for my major problem: The original post gives false information and takes everything out of context.

If you actually read the book, you’ll see that Annabeth KNEW he would be able to breathe because the water was not dirty where she pushed him in. In fact, right before he goes in, Percy states that the water below was “clear as glass, free of snakes, and just begging to be canonballed into” (pg. 126). Need I say more? (Don’t worry, I’m about to.)

THEN he says, “On the downside, it was ringed by sheer cliffs, with no obvious way down unless I wanted to ride the rapids downriver through Serpent Town.” So he knew he needed to jump in because that was the safest way for him to get there.

THEN Annabeth suggests, “You could jump in with the staff,” and Percy quite literally says, “Sure,” so now Annabeth knows he’s willing to jump down into it. But then Percy follows with, “The problem is climbing back up.”

However, Annabeth, ever so prepared, pulls out a rope. So Percy does have a safe way back up. She’s got him.

Then Percy remembers the river god and suggests that they take some time and make a plan, but then, from afar, they hear Grover start playing music, which means the deadly snakes were now all after Grover. Percy then goes, “The clock has started. Grover is in trouble.” And Annabeth says, “Times up.” That’s when she pushes him over.

He was going to jump in no matter what. That WAS planned. They discussed it. They were going to discuss a plan for what would happen if the river god showed up, but since their best friend was now in danger and both of their priorities were to protect him, they did not have time to make a plan. So Annabeth put the plan in action KNOWING that he would be okay in the water.

The only reason he got hurt—AFTER he landed safely and completely unharmed in the water—was because the river god attacked him, which was going to happen regardless when he tried to mess with the river. And then guess what happens IMMEDIATELY after the river god hurts him? The water—that Annabeth pushed him into, mind you—HEALED him. Just like it always has. Just like Annabeth knew it would if something were to happen.

The original post did not give half the information. It made it seem like Percy had no idea what was going to happen and that they hadn’t discussed it at all. The original post tells everyone that the water was filthy and that Annabeth didn’t know if he could breathe in it. The original post tells everyone that Percy was harmed BECAUSE of the jump. The original post tells everyone that it’s Annabeth’s fault that the river god harmed Percy—none of which are the case at all. The post is just a bunch of false statements coupled with out-of-context screenshots designed to manipulate people into feeling like they have to hate Annabeth Chase. It’s fine to not like Percabeth, but this post manipulates both the book and the viewers. Now, it’s fine to post opinions, but THIS aspect is not okay.

Now, could Annabeth have said, “Hurry! Jump!!”? Yes, she could have. That would have been the more gentle thing to do. But this was clearly a moment where a girlfriend thought it would be funny to push her boyfriend into some water—that he was about to dive into—instead of him jumping. No one here has ever pushed someone into a pool or off a diving board? Huh? I think it shows that their relationship is safe and comfortable enough that they can do things like that without it being a big deal. I feel like in most demigod relationships, this would not be seen as an issue. The only reason it seems to be on a larger scale here is because it's from a significant height, which again I'll remind you: doesn't get hurt easily + gets healed and powered by water = no injury happening. Annabeth also knew that Percy was comfortable jumping down into the water. It seems like a harmless situation to me. She made the decision knowing full well that he would be okay and safe because the water protects him. And all the negative and scary things that happened afterward were because the river god didn't want Percy to mess with the river. But Percy needed to mess with the river. Annabeth pushing him in did not cause that conflict.

Also, people are giving Percy no credit??? Why are we acting like he’s a weak little baby? This is Perseus Jackson, two-time Hero of Olympus, son of the brutal sea god. This guy is tough as nails, and Annabeth knows that and has full confidence in his abilities. People get mad when she is all soft and gentle with him because she’s “babying him,” but then when she treats him like an equal, capable demigod, they get mad because “she’s abusing him.” After she pushes him, Percy literally says that by doing it, Annabeth had “full confidence in [his] abilities” (pg. 128). She trusted that he could handle it because they are demigods and they HAVE to be able to handle things like this. She has seen him go through far, far worse than landing in some clean water and facing a minor god. She believes in him.

And isn't it somewhere around this time that Percy teaches Magnus, Annabeth's cousin, how to survive spontaneous deep plunges into icy cold water? Percy is such an expert on this that he teaches her cousin how to do it. Additionally, Percy and Annabeth quite literally fell into Tartarus—a slightly further drop than this—together, and survived because at the last minute they hit water, which protected Percy. And physically, he was fine then too. Plunging into water from heights is not a new experience for this dude. In fact, he's on the diving team at school—a little different, since that's coordinated, but still—the guy is very used to hitting water from heights. It's quite literally a daily thing for him. The only thing that shocked him here was the temperature of the water. And, mind you, this man has been to the bottom of the ocean. He recovered very quickly. Do people really think Annabeth pushed him in without the complete and utter certainty that he would be completely fine? I cannot stress how casual this is for him.

I would also like to add that Percy was in no way actually upset at her. A tad annoyed? Maybe, if you want to stretch things even more. But then, like, 2 seconds later after the river events, he's saying how cute she is, saying he loves her, kissing her, and they are laughing together. He is fine. They are fine. And if the roles were reversed and Annabeth was a daughter of the sea god and Percy affectionately pushed her off a ledge into some water, it still wouldn't be concerning.

I really do appreciate people like OP here wanting to call out harmful relationships in fiction, and I am never afraid to criticize Rick Riordan. I myself have said that I don't like how Annabeth acted in Wrath of the Triple Goddess (though I hold that against Rick, not Annabeth, since Rick openly admits he's writing them differently now to mirror the TV show versions). But Percy and Annabeth have consistently demonstrated themselves as mature, responsible, and kind human beings who love and support each other and make each other feel very safe and valued. Everyone is welcome to have their opinions and post whatever, but I really do think we should channel these types of discussions towards far more deserving issues, especially those that actually have factual reasoning behind them rather than false claims.

#we don’t need to be concerned about water boy being pushed into some water #im not gonna lie when i got this ask last night i crashed out #i wrote a heated angry response #but then slept on it and got up early to write a proper response lol #percy jackson #annabeth chase #percabeth #chalice of the gods #pjo #percy jackson and the olympians #answered #answered ask #rick riordan #riordanverse #argument against anti-percabeth #pro-percabeth

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dollgxtz · 5 months ago

Text

My first and only statement on all the accusations

Hello, I’m sure most of you are aware of the accusations about me and some of the stories I posted on my account. This post is not only an apology post, but an accountability post that details everything that happened from beginning to end. Everything will be here, so I will not be making more posts about this unless it’s to direct to this one.

Adding a tw now for suicide baiting, death threats and mentions of razors. So sorry but it must be included.

First I just wanted to say, no I wasn’t avoiding any of this. When this all started I was still in the middle of finals week, and I don’t live on tumblr 24/7. I had to focus on my finals to ensure I can get my degree and graduate. That was my number one priority. If anyone was blocked or comments were restricted during that time, it was my mostly my irl friend ensuring I wasn’t consumed by tumblr and could focus on my finals. I was already under a lot of stress and she offered to take over until I was finished with finals.

I was also getting death threats (people telling me to skin myself I alive and to jump). So she was ensuring that when I returned to my own blog, I would not see such triggering content. I have a history with suicide attempts and this was necessary for my mental health. The appropriate people were unblocked and remain unblocked to this day.

I always intended to make a statement, I just prioritized my real life first. It also took time to craft the post you are seeing now. I wanted it to be authentic, no misinformation, and well written.

So, as far as plagiarism goes, yes I did plagiarize specifically 3 of zombiekillerbiceps stories. I can’t actually remember the names of them and the author has removed their account from the site. But on my end specifically “Getting Closer”, “Edge of Control” and “Thrills” were not my own writing. Before they deleted their account I had already reached out via dm and apologized. We came to an understanding. I do not know why they deleted their account but they essentially said in DMs they accepted my apology and wanted to put this behind us but they were very hurt that I had copied them.

Edit: I found the post they made calling me out and will attach it.

As far as His Watchful Eye goes, the only plagiarism that took place was specifically the first chapter of it and only the first chapter. The first chapter of Something Permanent and His Watchful Eye are very similar. The remaining 13 chapters are my own writing and ideas. I have already reached out to @explorevenus and apologized. She has responded and made her own statement regarding it if you want to go and read it.

The only reason it was in anon is because this account (dollgxtz) is my side blog. I couldn’t figure out how to send a non anonymous message without exposing my main blog, so anon was the best thing. I didn’t want people sending death threats too that one too. I should’ve put my username in the anon, but it was already very late for me and I hadn’t slept in about 26 hours. I just wasn’t thinking very clearly and for that Venus I am also very sorry.

@manika-whims (the person that first wrote about all this) will remain blocked and some of her followers because I do suspect it was that group of people telling me to die. Manika wrote a very long post as she was upset that I “mischaracterized” Xavier in His Watchful Eye, called me a bitch and a loser because of a fictional man in a fictional story, and I will not entertain such immaturity. Full stop.

One of the anons that sent the suicide bait also called me a bitch and a waste of space. It was just too similar.

I also got this one. It’s too graphic to show the entirety of it.

I apologize for the plagiarism. But I will never apologize for writing characters the way I do or for writing dark content. It’s just not that serious. After she posted that I started getting these death threats and more.

You had every right to call me out for plagiarism Manika, but I stand my decision to keep you blocked. It had nothing to do with plagiarism accusations or me hiding from them, but I do believe you egged on your audience to come attack me over a fictional story and for that reason you will never be unblocked. I’ve attached screenshots below of the entire exchange. This is not to deflect from my own actions. This is simply to explain why she is blocked. She will say it’s because I was trying to hide from this but that is not true. I am just very sure the death threats came from her or her audience. This isn’t to say that she absolutely did but just in case, for my own mental health and safety I had to have them blocked.

Now that that’s discussed, I would like to address my readers and any future readers of mine. The plagiarized stories “Getting Closer” “Thrills” and “Edge of Control”. have been deleted and will remain deleted. Those of you asking for copies, please do not. They are not my writing nor my own works. Any remaining single work story on my blog is my own work and 100 percent my own ideas. My masterlist has been updated to reflect this as well.

When I first made my blog and posted those stories, I was a very insecure writer. I did not think I was truly capable of writing or making a good story. I did those things out of insecurity and not feeling good enough. But as time went on, I began to create my own stories and realize that I can write if I put my mind to it. These are not excuses, only explanations. Nothing excuses my behavior.

If you want to defend me, that is your own choice. I ask that you do not though in terms of plagiarism because I ultimately did plagiarize and that is 100 percent wrong of me to do. But in terms of AI usage accusations, these are not true. I have never and never will use AI to write.

I have spent countless hours writing chapters for His Watchful Eye, pulled all nighters, and even lost sleep making this story. I have timestamps in google docs that show me editing and writing my own story. I didn’t even know AI had advanced to the point that you can write fully blown novels. But make no mistake, Ai checkers are not reliable. I had an incident in my first year of college where a paper I wrote got flagged for 77 percent ai generated content. That paper was written 100 percent by me over countless hours and still got flagged. It was a very scary time in my life and for that reason alone I will never use AI.

If you want to unfollow me, please do so. If you want to block me, please do so. I would never hold that against anyone and am not mad at anyone for doing so. Just don’t come in my anon box telling me to jump, don’t message me rude or disgusting messages telling me to die. I am a human, I am a real person behind the screen. What I did was wrong but you are no better telling someone to kill themselves. Please just block me.

All in all thanks for reading. If you unfollow, thanks for being here. If you don’t, thanks for being here. If you want to be removed from any taglists, please just message me. You will not be blocked. Just removed from any future taglists! I have vowed to only post 100 percent of my own content from here on out, so if you stay I can promise you will only be reading my own work.

I am no longer the insecure writer that I once was, I now know my abilities and am confident enough to make my own stories. I have a 240,000 word fic out right now, I genuinely am still shocked I have done that. Writing has become a joy for me and I will not stop now. I should’ve never been afraid to make mistakes or be bad at it. I’m sorry to the people I hurt, my readers, and anyone reading this in the future. I am still growing and learning from my mistakes, and this has been the biggest lesson I will never forget.

Plagiarism is wrong and hurts authors. If you are reading this and have done so as well, please rethink your decisions and take them down, just as I have done.

I love interacting with you all, when you send me asks and messages about HWE or any of my original single fics. It is amazing getting to explain stuff or gush with you guys over the things that I have truly written. I truly love being an author and want my future as one to be honest and communicative.

The comments on this will be monitored, but not restricted. Voicing your thoughts is okay as long as they are respectful and not a direct threat to me or anyone’s life. Questions are okay as well and I will answer to the best of my ability. Please no:

insulting me or any of the people mentioned in this post (manika, venus, zombie, etc)

death threats or suicide baiting anyone

I want this to be a mature and honest discussion, and that can’t happen if I allow such comments. Despite what has been said about or to me, I do not want to replicate any insults/drama on my own blog. You can voice your displeasure or opinions without name calling.

Same goes for any messages or anon box messages you all may send to anyone involved here. We are all real people with feelings. Keep that in mind please before you message anyone.

We all make mistakes. Without mistakes, we cannot grow as people. It’s what we do after we make those mistakes that truly attest to our character. And this is what I’ve chosen to do. Lay it all out for my readers and the rest of the LADS fandom to see, apologize to the people I hurt and only write my own stories from here on out. Thank you to the readers and friends who approached me with kindness and encouraged me to keep writing authentically. And thank you all for reading, I wish all of you the best in life 🤍

-Umi ૮꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ა ♡

Edit: The first chapter of His Watchful Eye had been rewritten shortly after this statement was released. It now reflects my own writing. That was the only chapter that had ever been plagiarized. All other chapters reflect my own writing and ideas, now including chapter one.

Just putting this here to clear up accusations in the reblogs. I never claimed that either author was okay with me plagiarizing off them…I simply apologized and linked to Venus’s original statement. I stated Zombie accepted my apology, but was never okay with the plagiarism. Venus never accepted my apology, and that’s okay. I even told her I understood and that I didn’t expect her to. I’ve never expected anyone to be okay with what I did. I did everything I could to remedy the situation and that was it.

I apologized, deleted the stories, made a statement and reworked what I needed to. Everyone’s feelings on this are still 100 percent valid, and it’s totally okay to still be mad at me for this. I never expect Venus or Zombie to ever truly forgive me. However, let’s not spread misinformation. Reblogs are off from this point on to prevent the spread of misinformation. If you want to further discuss, you’re welcome to make your own posts. Thank you. ☺️

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secretress · 7 months ago

Text

❝𝐏𝐀𝐂: 𝐈 𝐚𝐦 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐈 𝐚𝐦 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐟 𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐠𝐨 𝐨𝐟 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐜𝐤𝐬 𝐦𝐞 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐦𝐲 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬.❞

What do you have to let go of in order to achieve your dream life?

🗝 ݁₊ ⊹ . 🕷 ⚉ Masterlist Subliminal Channel

‧₊˚ 🕸 ⋅♡🪡 ⚉ 18+ Readings Paid Readings Tarot Services

Pac summary !

𓆣 Detailed.

𓆣 What do you have to let go?

𓆣 How has it been affecting you?

𓆣 How do you let go?

Moodboard | Divider

Pile I.

(Trigger warning: faint mentions of su!cide).

What do you have to let go?

X of cups reversed.

Your pile is slightly tricky since this is a general reading, though my intuition tells me you must let go of the relationship you have with your future and past selves. You truly believe your past self was and is right about everything. You follow their mentality: thoughts, beliefs, and their behaviors, etc. You believe that your future self will mess up everything and have started to disregard their feelings about this. This pile has a lot of intuitive people, and in your future you see prosperity, abundance, genuine love, and everything that one person could desire, yet you keep discrediting your future self’s achievements and believe your past self is the one that obtained these. You also have been neglecting your present self and invalidating your feelings because it doesn’t fit your standards of who you are supposed to be or were. Your past self was able to help you get here, but it is your present self that is holding the stance, and it will be your future self that helps you achieve your goal. As long as you keep doing this negative cycle of insulting your future self, you will keep straining the friendship with yourself and question why everything is going wrong. Don’t allow yourself to be your own enemy, and then expect kindness from yourself. An enemy would never show kindness to their enemy without seeking something, and you are doing the same to yourself. Do not invalidate your feelings just because you have them now. Do not play victim with yourself whenever something negative occurs and go running to the same person that is playing you and making you feel worthless. Don’t do it.

You are making it harder to achieve your dream life and embody your desired self. Why crave something with all of your heart but push it away at every opportunity that comes? Why make it harder for yourself when you know damn well that you can make your desires a reality with a change of thought? What makes self-sabotage so special to you that you believe it is something that you deserve? You hide the smallest things from yourself—the smallest—it’s not necessary to keep straining the relationship with yourself. You are not this toxic person, you are your own person. Stop believing they are right when they are not. They’re an ass! Truly.

I know that you believe your past self is the embodiment of perfection; they were very confident, they had everything wanted, they could say no within seconds without shying away, without looking back, their mindset was a godsend and everyone would die to have it, they always strive for the best, but they are not here anymore, and that is not who you are anymore. Stop changing who you are right now, and allow yourself to naturally become them again. Forcing yourself to be a certain way and expecting to embody them within seconds is what is causing you so much stress that you feel su!cidal. My intuition says—take this into your heart and hold it dear because it’s something that you must understand. My intuition says, ‘’if you keep filling a hollow cup that has punctured holes on the bottom, hidden from its user, you will allow yourself to feel frustrated wondering why it is not filling up. It is a half empty cup, a cup that was always going to be hollow, something that cannot be fixed unless you create a new one. But that new one cannot be fixed overnight, it takes time and effort for it to manifest. If one were to pressure the one who created the cup, they would stress out and take a longer time to make it. Those stressful thoughts will cause despair and shame, as it buries them in insecurities as they hold onto those expectations from their client; something that is simply impossible even if it was done by a master from this field. So do not become this client to yourself when you know well you cannot embody them anymore.’’

How has it been affecting you?

Page of swords reversed, chains, justice reversed.

You are already aware of how this has been affecting you mentally. People have been feeding off of your energy like a vampire, and you feel drained constantly. A lot of you have wondered if there is something wrong, perhaps it's a lack of nutrients or iron issues, and for the rest, you have asked your family what is going on and taken their advice, but nothing has been working. The people feeding off your energy are causing you this confusion, thus making you struggle to accept when better opportunities come your way. I see a vision where someone from the noble family, primarily a prince with gold flowers on his jacket’s material, opens up an envelope from a desired place. The desired place is vague without a specific area. When they were opening up the envelope, all of their beautiful emotions were forcefully pushed into a dirty jar as it got sealed, and he could not get it back, leaving him with the unwanted emotions he buried away for so long. These emotions used to bury him in quicksand, and each time he tried to get out, he would sink deeper, and finally, one day, he allowed it to only for him to realize this isn’t where he wanted to be. But in this situation, his negative emotions came back to haunt him because he never healed from it. This vision is subjective, and each of you has a different place or want about something, yet you have not healed from your past, and now it is haunting you. You have a lot of overwhelming emotions, and you are slowly but surely pushing away the positive emotions because you fear they will be the ones you cannot stand. You are struggling to understand which emotions are right to feel and what is not. In short, you cannot feel anymore, everything is gray for you. Becoming your own blockage has made it easier for you to feel something, but has made it harder for you to become your dream self. Why disappoint yourself to feel something? Truly, what have you gained from it? You have lost so much. You lost trust in yourself. You have allowed others to break promises with you, telling them it is okay and then allowing them to do it again. You sabotaged job opportunities; you let yourself fail as you were held back for a year or another semester, yet you are such a hard working person. You (some) have let your ex cheat on you with a friend encouraging it, thinking that it’s okay just to feel, and (some) you allowed people to harm you for shits and giggles just to feel.

You are feeling these negative emotions because you started to get high from negativity and ruining your mindset, so no, these emotions and thoughts are not validated. And you must change these thoughts, or you will fall so painfully hard that you will lose yourself in the progress. Sabotaging your future self is cruel; they are NOT your enemy, they are your friend. Stop sabotaging your FUTURE self and your present self and then believing it is okay. It’s not, and these will not be validated by me.

To become your own enemy, to ruin opportunities for growth and self-improvement, is another type of cruelty that one would not wish upon someone else despite it all. To have that much hatred for someone you do not know and then complain about not getting where you want to be is another type of incompetence. To keep lying to yourself about things that will never happen, to cause stress and fear upon yourself just to laugh at yourself, is so cruel and morbid. How can you believe that is okay? To have such an elegant and beautiful energy, to now for it become the opposite of that: a disturbing energy. This is a whole new level of wow. Not the good wow, the wow of embarrassment. Originally, as I channeled your reading, I thought the energy vampire was someone else, yet it is you with yourself since all you do is torment yourself and get off on it. You do not do any of your work, you do not speak to your friends (not anymore since everything went to shit), you do not do anything, you barely cook for yourself, you just sabotage your present self and future self, and that’s it. You are the joker, but with yourself, and this is not okay and it never will be. It’s disgusting energy, and get mad at me as much as you would like to, but you came for a reading, and you are getting an honest one. Let’s keep going. Please take this reading to heart and heal for the better.

Moving on. You need to go back into your past and understand what led you to this. What caused you so much pain that you believed that in order to do better and be better, you must cause yourself pain. Shame keeps popping up in my mind. What decisions did you make in your past that have you so much regret that you hate yourself this much? What or who caused you so much for this to repeat in the same cycle? Healing a bit and then sabotaging yourself, going back to the same cycle, and then feeling su!cidal again. The word “shame,” is shaking around, chaotically spreading around in my mind. Your energy is so off-putting, not for me or anyone else, just for yourself. A vision appeared where someone (you) is stuck in a circus trap where wild animals are usually held, and the headmaster or headmistress is shaking a gold bell to the person, saying they are a failure, a shameful mistake, and a useless c*nt. Intuition tells me this owner is and was a friend or a current lover of yours that always made fun of you and gradually made you believe the lies from their tongue, hence the golden bell. Sometimes these bells can indicate control over someone, and the same person follows through and obeys. The same can be said here.

This is why I said your pile is tricky, there are two parties. Those who dealt with a friend and the other, a current lover. Nonetheless, follow along because this could make sense at the end, even if it doesn’t resonate yet.

Having vulnerability in a relationship can become nerve-wracking; you do not know if the other person is going to hurt your feelings, or use you as a means to an end. Other times, the idea of saying the truth can be scary and the thought of fabricating is easier, but as you keep lying like this to yourself and with others, you create a deeper rabbit hole for yourself. Not because you forget what you have lied about, but because you cause a drift and ruin the perception you have of yourself and who you associate yourself with. It doesn’t matter who you hang out with or date; you will always sabotage yourself because you ruined your perception of who you are. Meaning, you can no longer be vulnerable with yourself because you are used to lying and manipulating yourself, giving yourself hope and then ruining it for yourself—all of this has created a ball of emptiness, thus causing you to lose your emotions that you have been longing for. The only person to blame is yourself now. You have to take responsibility to become better for your younger self that dealt with that friend, or now and leave that current lover of yours. I feel like a part of you (everyone here), wants to genuinely heal, but fears linger in your mind, and cutting that cord scares you shitless. Letting go and not having those emotions is nagging you, and you feel like it’s better to have them than be empty. But sometimes, it is better to feel nothing than to lie to yourself to feel something. You do not gain anything from it.

How do you let go?

Reversed III of wands.

You must allow yourself to let go. Often, we allow others to control us, forgetting that we can control many things. In this case, you can control yourself to stop nitpicking and shaming your present and future self. Allow yourself to have your needs met and show yourself that it is okay to allow your path to go another way. Knowing that your past self cannot control you any longer and that it is time to let go. Allow your mind to be a waterfall, and imagine all the thoughts and trauma you cause yourself to be pushed away into that jar, just as the vision I saw with the prince. But rather this time, it’s the negativity that has engulfed your precious mind. And as you push these thoughts within that jar, allow the peaceful ones to come back within, and show appreciation that you did not do. And remember that the past cannot be undone as much as you want it to be, but that is also the beauty of life. Because now you are mindful of the decisions you make for yourself, and you now have a chance to do better and be better, but in a healthy way. Letting go may be hard, but doing it now as you read this is much better than never doing it—you may need time, and you may have to let go in baby steps, yet it is far better than not doing it. The gold flowers that were on the prince's jacket's fabric were an indication of your heart before all of this concurred. Having a gold heart to devote to those you care for is not an ill thing, it’s beautiful when it is well taken care of. Yet this time, do not make the same mistake, instead.. show that heart to yourself and let it engulf you so you can bring happiness back to yourself. And to become your dream self while learning what your dream life will be in the near future.

Masterlist

Pile II.

What do you have to let go?

The hanged man reversed, IX of swords, and the VII of cups.

Your pride. I believe this pile is self-explanatory. Even cutting it short, right here, you would already know what I am talking about. But I will get down to the deeper aspects of your pride, the ones you hide away with deadly vines that drown their prey for the fun of it.

Your mind is your escape palace, each time something triggering reappears, you allow yourself to dissociate from the world and stay in your inner world. In a way, you are always on autopilot and struggling to balance staying in reality and staying in the clouds has worsened. Now, you have started to feel fake, as if this is not your body and who you are. You are lost in your own fantasy that you have caused yourself—an addiction that has been challenging to leave. Your pride is another factor in this fantasy. It has caused you shame for even acting upon this fantasy, as you have always been someone who prided themselves on being better and never falling for something as this. Always made fun of others, and now life has bitten you.

Pride can either be our greatest ally or our greatest foe, and before all of this occurred, it was your best friend, yet now it’s out of tune with your goals and the life you dream of. It sees you as prey that it must devour, and you are letting it be. The IV of swords indicates troubles on fears, doubts, guilt, and worries; all the overwhelming emotions that you have been walking on eggshells around. These have become your new normal, but you have forgotten what it's like to feel peace surrounding your heart. My intuition tells me you must let go of your pride and learn to embrace this new addiction of yours. Learn to use this escape routine in something safe. Meaning, a lot of you daydream and douse yourself in different fantasy worlds of who you are and what you have there, yet your personality is always the same. Use those skills on figuring out what dream life you like to obtain and manifesting it into your reality. Take time in creating a realistic world and figuring out who you desire to be, what job you want, and what fashion you truly crave, and if you cannot find it, then learn to sew and make clothes for it to come. Do not be afraid to learn something new and find a new hobby. Allow yourself to engage in this world and the world you will create about this realistic world, and you will gradually see no reason to escape into that fantasy world of yours.

How has it been affecting you?

VI of wands reversed, the sun and III of wands reversed.

It has been causing you to feel overwhelmed to the point where you have been struggling to keep up with your daily life. Some things that feel real have started to submerge you into your fantasy. You struggle to figure out what is real and what isn’t. I keep hearing that some of you have depersonalization-derealization disorder, and some of you struggle with hallucinations. Some type of disorder has it, but I cannot be specific about it because there are too many disorders that are popping up as I channel this. A lot of you have started to hate yourself about it and would rather give up on life and let it be. Your pride is still truly your enemy, as VI of wands reversed speaks about it.

I have already said this pile is rather self-explanatory, but with the sun, you keep ignoring your struggles to be something small when it is not. You keep invalidating how you feel and believe it is better to be this resilient person who does not face struggles. Mind you, you are human, you are allowed to feel. It is okay to cry and feel those struggles, and it is truly okay to let loose and feel your emotions. But once you feel okay, and truly embrace those feelings, let it go, and get your ass back up and find solace in your desires that you create through these worlds you create and make it in your reality. Stop allowing your pride and fantasy ideals to take over and make you someone you are not. You are not this lazy person that you have idolized yourself to be; hell, you are not this evil person you think that you are, you have always been sweet and mind you it is okay to show compassion. It is not a disgusting feeling. Do not become your own setback and believe this it—this is your last resort and you cannot do much afterwards. Do not fall into this loophole of despair and think that is okay. Would you prefer it in the future that being in the same place you are as of now is your future, or will you do everything in YOUR power to change your reality?

How do you let go?

Let go of the idolized version from fear that you created so you can never change and make your desires into your reality. A lot of people create idolized versions of themselves to either daydream about (this is your case), and others do it to BECOME them. Which one sounds more appealing?

I keep asking you the same thing because you keep brushing them away. Which one would you truly have? What kind of future do you want? Don’t you want to have those fantasy worlds of yours come to life? Anything is truly possible, I know that it doesn’t seem to be the case, but it is. If you allow yourself to make your dream life come to you instead of pushing it away because you are not ready, then you can never have what you want. I know that shame can eat us alive to the point where those emotions rot in our flesh and cause delays throughout our hearts, but it is also important to recognize that this is your life and it is time to let go of this ‘’you,’’ and embark on the real you that has been cast away because of despair. So, I ask again, and please answer this one honestly. Who do you desire to be, what is your future like, and what do you want your dream life to be like? Only you and you alone can make your life change. Change cannot happen without you and your thoughts alone. How do you desire your thoughts to be? Would you like to change your pitiful thoughts and make them into positive ones like, “I am deserving of change. I allow change within my heart and let go of the old me that does not align with my dreams. I am free, and I have let go of all that ached my heart. Freedom is my destiny, and I am deserving of all of the beauty that comes from life.’’ Allow my intuitive words to heal your heart and make your life better. The things you desire cannot happen instantly, that is not realistic, and that is okay. Be consistent with these words and see the magic appear.

The tower.

I felt like something was missing and yet it was. Stop hiding the desires you actually have and remind yourself it is okay to crave them. Some of you crave genuine friendships, and the rest of you crave to love another but have been hurt to the point of no return. Listen to me, okay? It is genuinely okay to crave them. I understand that you have always done everything alone and believe you are destined for that, and maybe you are if you do not change your thoughts, but as I said, change cannot happen unless you change. But my intuition tells me the desires you crave are what are supposed to happen as you gradually become comfortable with better thoughts that make your day brighter. You are supposed to wake up in the morning without stressful and unwanting thoughts; you are supposed to smile randomly to yourself, and you are supposed to feel so much peace surrounding your heart. This is not because you change, this is because this has been part of your journey. Meaning, this has already been written down for you from the start, whether you believe in these or not.

Masterlist.

Pile III.

What do you have to let go?

VI of wands reversed, II of cups, VII of cups, and the lovers.

It is time to move on from the love that you are mourning. They do not and did not care for you as you did with them. I understand putting all the love you had for them did not manifest in the way you desired, but as you keep mourning, you allow your life to be stagnant. No change is coming in your direction, and there is a lack of balance in your heart. What they have done to you is not your fault; do not allow them to take over and make you believe that you were the devil. You are a beautiful rose that has fallen on the floor, hidden from the world, but it is time for you to come back and be seen. Allow yourself to gain the confidence that was stolen by them and rejoiced. It’s not wrong for you to move on and become happier for yourself. Those words that came from them as you both broke up were mere lies. They wanted you to keep thinking about them, and they wanted you to never move on. But is that what you still want? For your life to be on pause as everything else around you keeps moving forward?

I see a scene where a beautiful fallen angel is being thrown by “God” down onto earth, where their once light illuminating skin is transformed into nothing but gray skin and black hair. No shining light surrounds them, it is as if they are forgotten. This is your energy, and that “God” was your ex. They were not your grace, and they never were as much as you wanted to believe. It is time for you to let go and find your illuminated light once more. Stop allowing your what-ifs to cause you doubt about the truth; you already know that they did not care for you, so why do you still care for them? Still desire their love, devotion, validation, and care? Do you not have any self-respect for yourself? Learn to seek them from within and learn to heal the hole in your heart so you can learn to appreciate the special lover coming to you after you heal. Your dream life is creating a beautiful family with a special person and finding solace so you can both work together—to find someone who desires the same workplace and where you can speak all night long about the same subject. Allow your mind to come up with different possibilities about how your life can become beautiful instead of the negative what-ifs. It is causing your mind stress and making it hard for you to let go of this nonexistent loss. They were not the loss, you were. You have lost yourself for this person who does not deserve you. And they have lost someone who had the most mesmerizing heart that would light up anyone’s dreadful days. Become this angel for yourself again.

My love, your last card is the lovers. This was closed off for me before I checked your last card. The lovers is such a beautiful card and is your proof that this person will come only if you heal. Do not force the healing, allow it to come naturally. You must heal yourself, do not damage them as you have done to yourself. Learn to treat yourself with compassion, delicacy, and care. Some of you believe in God but have lost your ways because of them ruining your faith for their sake. Go back to the religion that you once loved and embodied it. It is not wrong to go back and appreciate the religion that gave you peace nor is it wrong to have one. The person whom is coming is absolutely mesmerizing, their heart is like gold and reminds me of those romantic movies that make any person swoon. Their love will make you fully believe you are worthy of natural and soft love. If I were to say it, you would not believe me, nor would you believe your loved ones. That is why you must say it to yourself first and then allow them to say the same.

How has it been affecting you?

Ten of cups.

I have already written how it has been affecting you, however, with the ten of cups this is simply a stronger indication about the beautiful love that will engulf you on a beautiful journey. Ten of cups indicate a fairytale ending with lots of happiness and freedom. The ending of Cinderella keeps coming to my mind and that is the same love that will come to you. This love is so refreshing, I cannot say anymore because it is for you to find out and for me to keep hidden.

How do you let go?

You just have, have you not? I felt your energy shift as I shuffled the ten of cups. You felt the same, did you not? You already knew of this person but needed the confirmation. So, allow me to write you a letter instead.

Dear you,

I am rather proud of you for letting go as you read this pile. To let go that quickly without causing pain to yourself or allowing the doubts to creep in—to allow yourself the freedom you sought for so long and to see this and tell yourself it is time to let go. It is so beautiful and so heartwarming to see. I do not know you personally, nor may I ever, and the same goes for you with me, but if I did, I would hug you, cup your cheeks, and look into your eyes as I whisper that I am proud of you. I cannot explain properly how proud I am of you, but hopefully you can tell by my energy, or perhaps from the texting style of my words? I hope that when this person comes, not only will it truly be a fairytale ending, but that you look back in your past where you were hopeless and broken by your ex—that you wish that your past self a thank you for moving forward despite it all and getting far as where you are right now. And to always remember them by the things they enjoyed before it was ruined by the image of your ex and instead of disgust now, it is something to be cherished. I truly hope you find peace each day moving forward, and I hope love comes to you in unexpected ways.

Yours truly,

Sefina.

Masterlist.

Pile IV.

What do you have to let go?

Ace of cups, and the fool reversed.

I know that you are happy with the new relationship that has started for you. That you finally found the right person for you who treats you with love and admiration. You believe this is your new beginning, but this is what you must let go. This person is not your new beginning, they are the pain.

They will cause you so much pain that you will feel fear, the same fear that I feel as I channel for you. Love bombing keeps appearing on my mind, this is a manipulation tactic, and some of you have already noticed when they lie but brush it off. You have been hurt so many times and you believe, or have manipulated your mind to believe this person is your future spouse from the endless amount of love piles you read. But they aren't, and they will be your demise. They will leave you with so much unwanted baggage that it will be hard to let go and may lead you to want to let your demons win. A lot of you have tried letting go of this connection in a dream, you keep seeing the same person in your dream. You know them, but you do not at the same time, some type of placebo effect appears to my mind.

Think of a one-sided relationship where a person puts all of this love imaginable, and the same person does the same. But as the relationship evolves, one of them starts to feel resentment for the other, and those feelings add up into a ball of energy, and eventually they harm their lover so they can get rid of those feelings. But it does not work and they still feel hatred. The same can be said for you and this person. It is time to let go of someone who resents you. You did not know them or know them well, but they have been keeping tabs on you and want to make it to the finish line—the finish line being your downfall. I get stalkerish vibes from them. Be careful.

Confirmation: the fool reversed.

The fool reversed in tarot cards indicates chaos, being naïve, trusting the wrong person, being stupid or engaging in stupid and reckless decisions, and having poor judgement. As I said, this person was giving me stalkerish vibes and the same can be said here. I also hear murderous, or an ex-killer. I feel dread around my heart, and I advise you to be very very careful when breaking up with them and to have someone who can protect you to be with you.. please. I keep hearing a dad, so perhaps, if you are close with him, have your father, and if not, a male figure. It will intimidate the person and trigger childlike fear for them (that is, for you to be able to break it out safely).

How has it been affecting you?

VII of pentacles, page of wands, and ace of cups.

It has been mentally exhausting you. On one hand, you know that they have been off-putting, but this is deep within your heart. That part where you cannot allow yourself to be vulnerable. And on the other hand, you are the fool reversed—too trusting for your own good. You cannot trust someone who makes you question the idea of love and if it is a good thing, even if it’s a thought you keep brushing away. And you cannot always be the one putting all the energy into a relationship, always taking the blame for their wrongdoings, and believing that you are the one causing a crime. That is not what a healthy relationship would look like.

This also has been affecting you as they have been triggering you. You have been wondering why you act a certain way with others, and with them, it is almost like you are another person. Someone who bows down for them instantly, but this is not you nor what a relationship should look like. A healthy relationship helps you grow, makes you believe you are worthy of love and care, heals you, makes you feel like an angel, challenges you in a healthy manner, works together to overcome challenges, and allows your childlike nature to escape and feel happiness. You have not felt that once with them, and if you have, you either were gaslighted by them or manipulated yourself for their sake.

You need to talk to someone you trust with all your might about this. A lot of you are already stressed out about them and this toxic relationship of yours. Some of you are already doubting what I am saying to you, and that is fine, but at the same time, this person will say the same but in a different approach because they know you better than I. You got the ace of cups once more.. that is your confirmation once again. These doubts that you have must be let go, and you must take action on them. The energy is so toxic that I had to take a break because I did not want to do your reading. As you already know, I am rather honest, but this pile hurt me internally. Not because there is anything wrong with you in this situation, no, but because of what you are going through and how this so called lover is with you. A part of me simply doesn’t want to keep writing this, just like another part of you wants me to lie and say they are an angel; they are this and they are that, but that would be a lie and I simply would never atone for that. Another part of me is writing it so you can be safe, and that is the part of you that you keep pushing away as said before. You must understand they are not good for you, end of story, my dear.

How do you let go?

Trust your gut feeling and understand those thoughts that arise about them. One of your parts already knows they are not a good person, yet you will not do anything about it. You cannot let go because of the fear and tight relationship they have with you. I see an image of someone choking someone as their legs are not touching the ground. Do not be that person to believe that you can fix this person and they will treat you with love, they are not. They are awful for a reason, and you already know this reason. Your gut feelings know and you keep ignoring it.

III of cups and queen of wands reversed.

Right now, you are struggling to trust yourself about them, and in the beginning of this reading, I spoke about a father and, if not, a male figure. The person you trust most is a male figure, so speak to them about this and learn to trust their words. You also need to learn to have confidence and respect for yourself before you break up. I see you breaking up with them before gaining those, and it doesn’t work out for you.

Masterlist.

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anarchy-and-piglins · 2 months ago

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Second DSMP lore post of the day, welcome back 2022 BUT-

There's something that always puzzles me about people who claim cTechno could have just gotten both himself and cTubbo out of the Red Festival situation.

If that was an option, why wouldn't he have?

The answer is because it wasn't an option. ccTechno confirmed this. cTechno confirmed this. Using your brain confirms this.

ccTechno didn't even know his fireworks could kill people in one hit before his first shot - he assumed he'd have to shoot multiple times to kill Tubbo, let alone kill multiple people with one shot. By extension, cTechno didn't know either. Tubbo was unarmed and without armor. Techno would have needed to 1v2 while also keeping Tubbo safe, and that's assuming the crowd wouldn't have also joined the fight (which they did). The chances of either one or both of them dying anyway were practically 99%. So he chose to persevere his single life

Now, you can still argue about the morality of that choice. When Techno does apologise for the Red Festival during the Revenger stream, he doesn't say "sorry for not saving you" or even "sorry for not getting us both out". He says, "I should have been willing to die for my beliefs". cTechno knows he most likely couldn't have gotten them both out safely, but feels he should have risked dying in the attempt.

(this post isn't about the character development that led him to that statement, but just know it makes me lose it a bit /pos)

ccTechno spoke in length about how one of his annoyances with how some people regarded his character was that they assumed, because he was good at PVP, he could just effortlessly 1v1 multiple people, while that's not true. cTechno got his ass kicked during the prison escape, the Green Festival, and during Doomsday, even losing all but 1 heart on some occasions.

So it's frustrating when people claim cTechno could have just fought his way out of the Red Festival while also keeping Tubbo safe, without any proof to back that up. "He should have fought his way out," they say. "How? I don't know, he just should have. He's just that strong, I guess (<- never mind the fact cTechno also did flee the Red Festival itself because he dropped to below 3 hearts). No, I don't have proof that he could, or proof that cTechno thought he could but made a deliberate choice not to do so. I'm just saying it's so."

But let's pretend for a bit. Let's pretend that cTechno could have fought his way out with Tubbo safe and sound. Let's pretend that was an option and cTechno was fully aware of it being an option...

Why wouldn't he have?

What possible explanation is there for cTechno in character (or even ccTechno out of character) to not take that option?

This is the guy who tried to talk his way out of the situation, stalled for over three minutes in the hopes allies would intervene (to the point that cSchlatt called him out on it), and tried to leave the stage only for his way to be barred. Why would cTechno do all that, then see a chance to get both himself and Tubbo out without either of them needing to die, and then decide to kill Tubbo anyway? It makes no sense. And absolutely never have I gotten a proper response to this from anybody who has this 'lore opinion' (in quotations because if it's objectively untrue it's not an opinion lol, that's just making shit up).

cTechno didn't gain anything from killing cTubbo at the Red Festival. If anything, it made Pogtopia more divided and made the rebellion more stressed. It ruined his relationship with several people. Techno gave no indication that he wanted to kill Tubbo or took pleasure out of it, he tried to avoid it, he didn't plan for it to happen or want to be there. If he could have not done it, why would he? Like, it makes no sense for cTechno as a character unless you're claiming he just wanted to do it for shits and giggles? He's just an asshole, I guess? Which, if that's your takeaway of the character, it's dumb and doesn't add up.

It definitely makes no sense from a writing standpoint unless you're claiming you know cTechno better than ccTechno does or are somehow claiming ccTechno was lying when he said that cTechno didn't see any other way out of that situation. In which case, like, I think that's really disrespectful. Plus, if ccTechno didn't even know, how could cTechno possibly know?

So yeah, that's my two cents on why "cTechno could have just fought his way out of the Red Festival while keeping cTubbo safe" isn't just completely inaccurate to events, it also has no narrative basis.

#technoblade #tubbo #lore posting #I'm so sorry for the flashbacks everypony /j #text posts

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earthsparked · 5 days ago

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Sparking Flames

Part Four | one two three four intermission five (AO3 link)

You wake up with a short gasp, confused and fumbling in the dark. No idea where you are, or why you smell a sickening-sweet mixture of dried blood, ozone, pine tar, and...new car smell? You're moving. There's glowing lights on the dashboard. You're in an unfamiliar car, no seatbelt on, conked out in the passenger seat. It's so calm and familiar, reminiscent of long car rides when you were a child, that it takes you a second to realize there's nobody next to you in the god damn driver's seat.

You come all the way awake already lunging for the steering wheel, throwing yourself across from the passenger side and trying to smash the brake down. The wheel won't turn. The pedal won't depress. When the car's engine gives a weird rev and swerves a bit, you shriek incoherently. You've had stress dreams just like this. Next it's going to bounce off the road and into deep water, somewhere, then your teeth will fall out and you still won't have studied for that final exam for the college class on ancient Roman literature you don't remember signing up for.

A voice comes from nowhere and everywhere, alarmed. Whoa! Easy, sparklet, let up on that will you? Scared the coolant out of me, Primus! Do all humans jump out of recharge like that?

What, who. Robot?! Where are you? you ask foggily, grabbing for the door handle in a bid to jimmy it open. Then you cling to it in shock when you realize how fucking fast you're going. Bailing out is not an option unless you want to die in a spectacular splatter of gore on the blacktop. You're grooving down a highway that you don't recognize, but there are thick trees on either side of the road. You could almost believe you're in a self-driving car, but it's too smooth, too quiet, and way too fast. You glance at the speedometer and feel a little sick when you catch the reading, well over 100 miles an hour. How in the hell is this car taking these winding roads at these speeds without crashing?

Oh, so you're the DAMAGED, kind of damaged. Fragging 'Cons.. it grumbles. It's me. I am the car. Remember? Roddy? Hot Rod? Your hero in bitching awesome flame paint that totally looks just like Optimus Prime's? Saved you from Brawl and Ravage? C'mon, sparklet, don't tell me you got a memory wipe in the last couple klicks. Is that, like, normal for humans when they recharge, or do I gotta go Mach Primus to get you to a medic?

...Roddy? you ask, suspiciously, sinking back down into the (luxuriously comfortable) seats. You jolt when the car's seatbelt independently slides over you and locks into place.

So that's what those are for, he says in an ahh, now I get it, tone. Didn't really bother to look much at the cabin specs when I chose this alt mode, just the space for what's under the hood. Needed something that can take the heat, 'cause I'm just that kind of mech, you know?

His rambling is almost soothing, each weirdly enthusiastic, cheerful word calming you. As your pounding heart starts to slow, you fully come back to yourself, memories returning in a wave...

The robot slides down the cliffside with its hand crushing rock along the way, rappelling without a line, with you clutched protectively against its chest. It's a drop zone ride from hell, with no safety bars and a long way down. Just when you think you can't take the disorientation anymore, it leaps the final distance to the ground with a boom – taking the impact entirely on its legs, with barely a tremor getting through to you. It's honestly kind of impressive.

Who are you? you ask, finally, once you're sure you're not about to black out. What in the absolute fuck is happening? Where'd you come from? Why were you fighting those other robots? Why'd you protect me? Why did that one look like a metal mountain lion?

The robot looks down at you with unrestrained glee. You get the impression it's been looking forward to you asking some of those questions. The thought that someone was so interested in talking to you sends a pleasant little flutter through your heart. For a second you think it's about to stop and put you down so it can preen – there's something so young, and energetic, and good-natured about it, though why you feel that way, you're not even sure. But it shakes itself and strides into the woodland. You're well past the hiking trails down here, thanks to the shortcut, and the direction it picks isn't even one you're familiar with.

I'm Hot Rod, Autobot. Better known as Roddy, Rodders, Speedster, Speed Demon, The Pit On Wheels, fastest mech on either side of Andromeda, right-hand mech to Optimus Prime himself -! And..you don't know what any of that means, do you. When you shake your head no, it deflates a little, making you realize that it had puffed up its plating like a peacock ruffling its train. Uh, I'm really a big deal. I'm important, and fast, and I kick 'Con ass. That's all you really need to know.

But I'm not a robot, it corrects firmly, as it pushes through trees. Wincing as yet more leaves get stuck in various places in-between its armor. Robots aren't sentient. I'm a mech. And a - hm, you'd call it a "badass dude." Organics have gender, don't you? What gender are you?

Um, you say, but he keeps on going, both through the woods and running his mouth.

So, Autobots. We're the good guys. We're all from a planet called Cybertron, but the Decepti-dicks are a bunch of slaggers who follow their leader Megatron like their olfactory bulbs are welded to his tailpipe. He's all "look at me, I'm big and scary and I turn into a tank, so I can roll over everyone who stands in my way, hurr hurr." I could take him, he says, conspiratorially. But I just got here on the planet like, today. So I haven't had the chance yet.

Ah, you say, somehow more confused than before.

He seems to notice in that weird way he has, as if he knows what you're thinking, or feeling, or something. He gives you that same soft smile he had back in the middle of the battle.

Look, it's an old war that old mechs have been fighting forever, and then shit happened and a bunch of mechs all ended up on your planet, a while back. Optimus Prime, our leader, sent out a call for reinforcements to help protect you little guys, 'cause the 'Cons don't give a flying frag about organics. Like to stomp you for fun, even.

But you said Revenge -

Ravage, he corrects. Primus though, that'd be an amazing name. I like your language.

Ravage, you said he wouldn't just kill organ- um, humans, out in the middle of nowhere. So what was he doing there? Why did he kill those people? And who were they, what were they doing there in the fire tower? I thought it was weird they had a lot of really advanced-looking radio equipment, not the kind of stuff most of the lookout towers have. And what does this have to do with the attack in town?

Dunno! he said, and you can't miss the glint of excitement shining from him. He's worried, sure, but he's thrilled too. But we're gonna find out. This has gotta be why they attacked your town, earlier. Ravage said maybe we're looking for the same thing they are. Energon? That's that pink stuff you're wearing, but in crystal form. We use it for fuel. But, our scans didn't show any significant deposits around here, so it can't be that. And humans don't have any real use for energon anyway, so what would those guys you talked to want with it?

So it can't be that. They called me a civilian, you remember, piecing it together now that you're not in the full-on grip of expecting to die any second. That means they had to be military. Or maybe, ex-military?

That's a disturbing thought. There's plenty of weird guys with way too many guns lurking around, with really scary and bigoted ideas, but you'd never thought there would be such a group near your tiny town. On the other hand, if they had access to a helicopter and that kind of advanced equipment – that sounded a lot more like some kind of para-military, or James Bond bullshit, not racist nutjobs.

...though you supposed they could be both, which was not an encouraging thought.

Hot Rod didn't, unfortunately, ease your fears. He frowned as he carefully stepped over a little brook, feet sinking into the wetland with an uncomfortable squelch. Can't be military. Optimus and his team made contact with your military ages ago. They even set us up with a base of operations and some supplies, though they're trying hard not to let anybody know we exist. There's this weird intelligence agent, Fowler? I met him this morning. Bet he's having a whole litter of turbofox pups over this slag.

You let that knowledge percolate a while. It wasn't too terribly surprising your government had knowledge of aliens and were trying to keep it a secret. You had to wonder if maybe Guillermo del Toro had ever run into one of these Cybertronians.

Because you were in danger, Hot Rod says suddenly.

Huh?

You asked why I protected you. 'Cause I'm an Autobot, and that's what we do. Help people in danger.

There's a straightforward earnestness to him that's very nearly innocent in its honesty. You're learning quickly that he's a robot - er, mech of intense feelings, not good at hiding anything. You find it makes it easier to trust him. There's probably no chance this guy could keep a secret to save his life. He really means what he says. He even came after you when you disappeared from the battle, even though it meant following your trail through terrain that was not friendly to him.

It starts to sink in you've somehow managed to gain the protection of a giant alien mech. Your own personal jaeger, with bright blue eyes and an easy smile, a funny sense of humor, a quick temper and a big, brave heart.

Though you'd need to have a talk about his tendency to go all Spider-Man without a word of warning, while holding you.

You lean into his chest, where you can feel something like static electricity, something like a heartbeat under your touch. You lean your head against him, a moment of trust. No human had ever done anything like this for you. And here was an alien, only on the planet a day, and even though you'd met him in the worst way possible, you already knew you'd never forget him or his kindness.

Thank you, Hot Rod. For saving me. I didn't get the chance to say it, before. I'm pretty sure you've saved my life at least twice now. So, if that's what being an Autobot is about, you're great at being one.

You'd expected some cheerful bluster, but what you get is a sudden heating of his armor, even some flames licking out of the pipes along his shoulders. You look up at him, and find him staring at you with a sort of startled expression more at home on a doe-eyed fawn that a giant alien mech.

People don't tell you that very often, do they? you softly guess from his reaction. You busy yourself with plucking bits of pine bark and pine needles out of the seams of his armor.

Sure they do! Hear it all the time, he bluffs, and it's so painfully human that you feel dizzy. How can these mechs be so much like you?

Anyway, Ravage looks like that 'cause he's an animal-form symbiont. He's small 'cause he's one of a contingent of several symbionts bonded with this weird fragger named Soundwave. You ever run into a big, spindly mech with a strange voice? Run. There's tentacles.

Hot Rod shudders, and you decide you really don't want to know.

That's about it. The plan now is to put some distance between us and that tower, which would be a lot fragging easier if your stupid planet wasn't covered in this green stuff. Any more questions, sparklet?

Just one. Where are we going?

His strides falter and he looks at you with an expression you can only describe as sheepish. Uh. Was kind of hoping you would know.

When you start to scowl, his face breaks apart into a laugh, and you feel his chest heaving with it. Oohh, the look you just gave me! No, no, sorry, we're cutting through the woods to get to the next highway over. I have um, what do your people call it...GPS? I'm not gonna get us lost. But we gotta make sure we lose -

Then you hear it, the thing you'd been fearing was going to descend on you this whole time, even though the conversation had been a nice distraction. It's the thudding blades of a helicopter, coming closer. Roddy gives a start - had he not been paying attention?!

Hot Rod, they're coming! Do something! you exclaim.

He sounds about as serious as you've ever heard him sound. Right, can't run, time to hide. And then he does...something.

He folds himself around you. One minute you're in a giant robot's hands. The next, the whole world comes apart in a tornado of metal. You catch a single bright flash of light, a lick of flame, and then you're blinking at finding yourself in the passenger seat of the most expensive sports car you've ever seen in your life. You feel too poor just to let your butt touch the seat made of ...it's probably leather? Alien leather? From alien cows? It's sinfully soft, and warm, and you hadn't realized you'd gotten so cold. But the sun has just about set, and you are so, so beyond tired.

Do I even want to know, you say, leaning back against the seat. Why you didn't tell me you can turn into a car?

You didn't ask, he says, predictably, but with the glee of a toddler getting to make that joke for the first time in his life. Now, shh. My cabin is soundproof but my engine throws off a lot of heat. I gotta run silent. No way they'll see us under all this plant life, their radar's gonna scatter all over. Just sit tight, human.

Not human, you mumble sleepily.

Huh? You're not?! Then what the frag are you? he exclaims, jostling on his tires despite himself.

You snort. My name, you goofball. It's not "human." My - designation is...

You tell him, and he repeats it several times, using different inflections. Does that help him remember? Or do robots - er, mechs - just record things for remembering later?

I like it. What does it mean? Did you pick it yourself? Where were you sparked, anyway? Where do humans come from?

Quiet, you remind him, hiding from scary people. Shh. You can't hear the rotor blades anymore, or see searchlights in the sky. They've passed over you, whoever they are.

Warm, comfortable, not alone, if not at all that safe – you fell into a much-needed sleep.

Only to waken hours later, well after dark, confused but slightly better rested.

You lean back into Hot Rod's seats, which you're pretty sure are heated. It's incredible how smooth the ride is. If you'd had any doubts that what you're sitting in isn't a human-made vehicle, that alone would have erased them. It's like riding on air, and the surety with which he steers you is more like a falcon navigating an air current than a human driver trying to steer a two thousand-pound metal deathtrap down backroads of a conservation forest.

You want to go back to sleep, and he tells you that you can. I'm doing some patrolling before we go back to your town. Hoping to catch something on my sensors that could explain what the frag is going on here.

But your stomach growls loudly enough that it sparks a conversation in hurt tones about why are you growling at me, what did I do?! (You're starting to think he's a wee bit sensitive, your new giant alien mech protector.)

I can't remember when I ate last, and - fuck, you groan, as your injuries give a horrid throb. The brief burst of adrenaline had warded it off, but now your side, hip, and most of your body was hurting fiercely. You had raw scrapes from the road rash, and should probably start getting worried about infection.

I really need a doctor. And a bath. And some new clothes. Or at least a place I can wash up.

Yeah, poor little guy, you really got knocked around, he says sympathetically, with just enough condescension that one of your eyes twitches. Ratchet - that's our chief medical officer, he read me and Drift and a bunch of the other guys all these ways to kill a human, so we wouldn't do them. You're like protoforms, you're so - soft.

You'd take more offense to it if his tone wasn't so full of wonder. Though it's hard for you to understand how your smelly, banged-up, completely imperfect body could hold any wonder for anyone, right now, let alone The Pit on Wheels, whose alt mode was probably worth more than some people's entire life earnings.

I think there's a rest stop up ahead, you say, squinting as the sign blows past in the rearview mirror. They'll have a bathroom. If you can stop a minute, I'll get cleaned up and then we can head back to town?

Yeah, I guess we're not gonna find anything out here. Frag it. I was hoping I'd have something more to bring back with us. I uh, kind of disobeyed orders to come after you, he admits. On impulse, you reach out and gently stroke the steering wheel. He doesn't say anything, but his powerful engine purrs gently.

You pull over and groan loudly as you limp into the rest stop. You spend a blissful, yet miserable twenty minutes washing various substances off of yourself. Your clothes are absolutely trashed, but a quick rinse and dry under the automatic hand-dryer has them stiff and uncomfortable but less goopy.

You drink your fill from the sink and drag yourself back outside. Only to find the parking lot empty.

Roddy-? You call, heart sinking. Had he left you?! Without a word? You'd only known him for perhaps a dozen hours, but that strikes you as incredibly unlike him. Getting distracted maybe, but abandoning you? No.

Before you can call out again, gloved hands slam themselves over your mouth and wrap around your waist, heaving you backwards into the confining grip of a tall, muscular body. As you screamed muffled cries into the hand, something sharp pricks the side of your neck, and against your will you fall into darkness.

#transformers x human #transformers x reader #transformers first contact au #human distribution system #oh space cowboy we're really in it now #hot rod x reader #platonic

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