#there's gonna be more thoughts in an hour anyway probably I know me

[ggreactionsandscenarios]

Hi can you do a smut with CEO! Karina and female! reader who is her secretary ?

Karina x Reader

Chinese couch

Late nights.

It was starting to feel a little bit too usual for Jimin to work until night lately. Being the CEO of a worldwide renowned company for sure comes with the prerogative but it was slowly messing with her sleep schedule and nothing good happens when Jimin is sleep deprived.

As her assistant you witnessed it all, her temper slowly getting worst and worst, the number of people getting fired slowly rising up.

Usually you wouldn't say anything, afraid to loose your job and even more afraid to face an angry Karina but it's been days and you're slowly feeling responsible.

It might be a tiny bit because of the S.O.S. looks from all the people getting kicked out that pass by your desk everyday.

Anyway you figured out you might as well try to calm your boss down before becoming the very last person employed here.

So when the clock hit nine, you made your way to her office. Stopping right in front of the door, contemplating whether you should enter or not. After building up the courage, you finally decided to knock.

But of course the door opened wide right when you were about to, revealing your boss in all of her intimidating self. Her face only a few inches away from yours.

"Please tell me you weren't coming to tell me some bad news, because I swear I'm gonna kill myself if anything goes sideways again."

You couldn't help but chuckle a bit at her frown but were fast to remember she was your boss.

"No actually I was coming to ask you if you'd like to eat with me, I'm ordering."

For a second there Jimin was bewildered, not expecting the offer but she was fast to put on her serious face.

"I don't have time to eat I have better things to do."

She was about to go back to her office when you suddenly grabbed the door keeping it opened.

"Chinese it is."

You don't know what's gotten into you, it's like you're trying to get fired.

Karina stared right at you for a minute, probably waiting for you to back down but you didn't.

"Fine."

And with those words she went back inside letting you choose what to order. You settled for a restaurant that was just down the street, hoping it would be delivered faster.

Sadly it didn't, you waited for almost an hour at your desk before the delivery guy came up.

You went to Karina's door knocking on it carefully, not wanting to interrupt a phone call.

Even though you got no answer you pushed the door opened, after all you did warned her you'll be treating her food.

When you entered the room you were surprised not to find your boss in her chair where she would always sit.

She was laying down on her luxurious couch, she probably got too tired to notice she was falling asleep before it was too late.

You set the food on the table before shaking her shoulder to wake her up but it didn't work.

She did not move nor did she said anything. She actually remained so still that for a second you wondered if she might have passed out of exhaustion.

It's only when you got close to her face to see if she was breathing that she suddenly opened her eyes.

"Getting comfortable there I see, you should have told me you weren't talking about food when you ask me for dinner."

You frowned not knowing what she meant until you took a closer look at your position noticing how you were pretty much all over her.

You took a step back and an other just to be sure.

"Excuse me for checking if my boss is still alive."

You tried to play it cool but you knew you were blushing at this point so you turned your back at her to hide your embarrassment.

Her face closed up, the movement upsetting her. She took a hold of your waist, turning you around and getting insanely close to you.

"Don't ever turn your back on me like that."

Once again you don't know what went on your mind because for some reason you couldn't help but to provoke her.

"Thought you liked my backside."

She stare at you before answering.

"Careful sweetheart, I don't like brats."

As you were about to argue back she shut you up, kissing you hard, her teeth sinking into your bottom lip so she could have access to your tongue.

As much as you'd like to resist her, you've been waiting for her to make a move on you forever so you weren't going to back down now.

So you kissed her back, pushing her back to the couch where she has been sleeping except now you were on top of her, kissing her neck.

You would've continued if it wasn't for her switching positions.

"I'm on top."

You couldn't careless all you wanted to do was for her to kiss you right now.

"Stop talking and start kissing."

And so she did, trailing her kisses down your neck to your breast, getting rid of your top on the way.

She cupped your mount, tasting them and playing with your nipples as you tugged on her hair asking for more.

You might have marks of her lips tomorrow because of how hungrily she was kissing every inch of your skin.

As she was kissing your lips again you decided to stop her.

"Wait, let's eat."

Jimin looked at you with confusion in her eyes.

"What do you mean 'let's eat' ? What do you think I was about to do ?"

She was now clearly frustrated as you sat up on the couch ans started unpacking your order.

"You need to eat, you haven't even eaten lunch today."

"Who cares ?"

Seeing her frustration wasn't getting to you she changed tactics, brushing her hand on your thigh and kissing your neck.

It was indeed tempting but as you let out a content sigh, you broke contact.

"Eat your food and maybe you'll have dessert."

Not really a smut but here is a little something -Ael

[lavenoon]

Woke from a nightmare n decided to check Tumblr before passing out again. I saw you mentioned wanting more Eclipse Asks 👀

Please please please tell us more about the boy :0 I would love to know more about that tall fidgeting mess of a man!

Okie now I go pass out again, cyaaaa o/ 💤

@naffeclipse

I have been enabled.

Eclipse, in short, is a mess. He copes well enough, but his insecurities have been there from the beginning - they were predestined, with how he came to be.

Sun and Moon used to have a shared mode, before they decided it would be better for their sanity to just let the other do his thing and remain in rest mode. It was a blend of their AIs, making verbal communication unnecessary. Immediate understanding and combined planning skills, it did help them out of a few pickles (though they didn't get into too many, before this job).

And technically, they can still enter that mode.

They don't, because continued use of that "Eclipse" mode, with that blend of AIs where not even their system could differentiate where one ends and one begins, caused their AI to split into three one time.

Eclipse came into existence, trapped within a mind that wasn't his own, a miracle in a way, but received with shock and hostility. Neither of them expected him, least of all he himself!

That's why he's so curious, with that insatiable thirst for knowledge. If he's possible, what else might be? What else might be out there, ready to be found? Ready to be created?

But of course, there's the insecurity. The terrible need to compete with his brothers to prove himself vs the endless fear of falling short compared to them, again and again. He got them their job but what they do he'll never be good at, he's the taller one with more limbs but his battery is spotty at best, barely keeping him together well enough. They didn't want him in their head, and he didn't want to be in their head, and they got him a rush-job of a body (that I'll get to, too). They're all happy with the separation, but none of them were happy with the need for one.

Even if everyone wants him to have his own body, it's hard not to feel rejected, hard not to feel unwanted. The lingering tension remains even after the separation, and only exacerbates the problem. They don't want him, even when he's his own person. They pushed him out, because he'll never be good enough for them. They're all he has, and he is so so scared of them never accepting him. Maybe they just tolerate him, because they feel responsible - but would they choose him, if they ever had the option? Between his existence and non-existence, which one would they opt for? He's scared to ask.

It's tense, this relationship with his brothers. He pretends to be unaffected, like any younger sibling may pretend the approval of their older, cooler siblings may not matter. But he craves it so much. He wants to be wanted, wants to be accepted, wants to be loved - who doesn't?

Sun and Moon don't hate him. They're not quite sure, at first, but he is their little (annoying) brother. They care for him, want him to be safe, and when push comes to shove, they'd help him out no question. "No you can't wear my shirt but I'll help you hide a body" sibling dynamic.

There's also some guilt, at first - he wasn't meant to exist, and his AI was a strange mix of theirs and his few own experiences. Faulty, some might say, not fully developed. But he's doing fine these days, if a little clueless about social cues and a bit too happy to set things on fire, so the guilt really disappeared. It's better for Eclipse, too - he really hated being pitied for existing.

It gets a bit better when they live apart, because they don't serve as constant reminders for each other. Eclipse still has his brothers with him - the necklace I drew him with was not a coincidence, even if he claims that "a combined Sun and Moon pendant just means Eclipse. It's a me necklace".

Still makes sure they're okay, developing gloves for them that give them that extra grip during parkour, and making sure all his little gadgets make it to them. (And if they get some confidential blueprints in the mail for their own little workshop, well, he always was loose-lipped for someone without lips) (He needs them to be okay. This is how he can make sure - and if they build his designs, well, that's approval, too, right?)

Sun and Moon also are still there for him. They play up the annoyance sometimes, but they do care for him.

Especially considering that well, his "health" issues are kind of their fault. The body was a rush job - he has "narcolepsy", or rather the animatronic equivalent. The lower his battery goes, the higher the chance that his system will recognize it as dangerously low, and push him into rest mode. He always makes sure to be fully charged for work, because even if the rest mode spells only take a few moments to a minute, it's risky in a lab environment to randomly pass out.

He's saving for a replacement - but it's slow going, with all the other repairs he necessitates and with all the fun things to buy in the world. He's just a bit of a hoarder, attracted by colorful and shiny things, and of course, anything he can fidget with.

Him and Y/N... They're good, really! But despite all the cues he misses, it's glaringly obvious that his brothers are very interested, so he just isn't. Not romantically, at least. He's not interested in fighting that battle, only losing to his brothers who live and work with them, so rather inserts himself into a unique role that his brothers don't already fill. But they like him, they accept him, and at times even seek him out - first about inventions and gadgets, then about funny stories (dirt) about Sun and Moon, and then just to chat sometimes. It reassures him that even with them in the picture, he's not out of it, partly due to their own efforts to include him

They're all four a family, with time. Having Y/N in the mix lightens the mood, and keeps them all from constantly thinking about all what was, and instead enjoy the moment, or even plan for the future.

With Moon being the only one who doesn't lie about scars, any family reunions are hell for him while he's out - because Eclipse and Y/N are just inventing crazier and crazier stories, that somehow are totally unrelated to the real cause of the scars they sport, "For the bit, Moon, it's for the bit" "He wouldn't get it, don't try" "Can't appreciate a good story. He's still mad I got creative before". By then it's not even like they try to convince anyone, they just think of it like a creative exercise!

Sun and Moon may act a little annoyed that Eclipse and Y/N get along so well, but they realize quickly that their brother isn't interested in their little rival like that, and then it's just... A relief. The two people in their life they can't imagine living without get along, why would they complain? They may enable each other, and someone should keep an eye on where the fire extinguisher is, but they're glad things are looking up for their little family, at last

And they'll all be okay, with time <3

[ra-vio]

I've been chanting this like a spell

[wiseatom]

i tried for a well thought out post. instead you get this mess that i’m begging you not to twist:

the outraged cries of “cliques” are people being actual friends with each other. the people complaining about certain blogs or creators being on pedestals are usually the same people putting them there. i’m not one to belittle feelings - i understand where the upset is coming from. i even understand my place in it! but at the end of the day, we’re working ourselves up over what? notes? followers? hits on a fic? things based on luck and timing??

i can only speak for myself, but i work a full time job and i’m hard scheduled 45 hours a week. all of my free time goes towards fic writing, because that’s For Me and that’s what’s important for my mental health, and even then, i am usually too exhausted to do that. i would love to read fic and interact more! my to-read list is a mile long! it is just genuinely hard for me to find the time. i prioritize my friends because they are my friends — real, actual people i know beyond tumblr mutualship, who i talk to about more than just fic writing — and even then i am late getting around to it. i’m not saying this as a “woe is me, my life is hard” moment, but moreso trying to offer a perspective that is not even being thought of. and i get it, no one wants to hear it, because you’re frustrated, and being vocal about frustration feels nice (i know, bc here i am)!!

someone is going to come for my throat for making this post as a “big author” and “part of the clique we’re all vagueing” and maybe it’s juuuuust me but like. if you’re that unhappy, log off. if seeing a friend group you’re not part of interacting makes you unhappy, log off. if seeing the engagement other people get on their posts or fic or art makes you unhappy, log off. you cannot force people to interact with you or your creative work, and aggressively posting about it when they don’t is not inviting them to. i am begging you to stop having expectations of people you do not know, because at the end of the day, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment.

[apocalypticdemon]

I would say I have no explanation for this, but uh. I really do. Behold: the first ideas for a Terror IndyCar AU that has possessed me for the last 36 straight hours. It would not leave me alone until I put some of it to paper.

Behold: Crozier as an established, relatively liked, if cynical, driver, upstart rookie James Fitzjames, and Hickey, who is, as always, totally normal and not causing problems.

The art is rushed, but I needed to purge the demons as fast as I could

[buck2eddie]

i am not one to watch video essays but for the past few days i've found myself watching the 2-part victorious video essays and i am so invested rn

[fakecats]

once i really get into my p5r replay i am going to go So hard trying to explore the different character dynamics other than joker and akechi sorry

[lunar-fey]

i dont want to get too hopeful but i think the pain med is working 🤔

[mrsmarlasinger]

Falling asleep with hypoglycemia and waking up an hour later with Hypoglycemia But Worse because you didn't eat to fix it feels like waking up on the peak of a too-strong edible you took right before bed

[inbabylontheywept]

The Motherfucking Lizard King

No one at work trusts my boss. 

He's smart. He works hard. He's not trustworthy. He hasn't actually fucked anyone at work over, but he's ruined his last two marriages with affairs, and got dumped by his third fiance when he wouldn't sign a prenup. The fact that we all know this is just a hazard of working in a small town. 

Anyway: The thought process of the people in the lab is that if he screwed over his first wife, and his second wife, and was probably planning on screwing over his third wife, it would be insane for him not to screw us over. After all, what kind of idiot treats their employees better than their spouse? 

I dunno. His kind, I guess? He's had a few chances to fuck us over, and he hasn't taken them. Opposite really. When our parent company was doing furloughs, he stayed in the office almost a hundred hours, talking and talking and talking his way up the corporate ladder. And in the end, no one at our site got furloughed. 

He's pulled strings like that before. And it baffles me, right? Because it really does make zero sense. He'll move the heavens and the earth for us, but his wife and kids are afterthoughts. It feels like any moment, he's going to look into the mirror and realize how stupid that is. It feels like I'm betting on him making the same stupid mistake again, and again, and again - like it would be less cynical to believe he was, eventually, going to stab me in the back. But he hasn't yet, and as far as I can tell he's been making that mistake for close to fifteen years, and it's already cost him everything it can. If he was going to learn, he would have by now. 

So my position on him is that if he wanted to date someone I cared about, I'd warn them off. I don't trust him there. But I tentatively trust him to be my boss. Maybe one day he'll stick the knife in and twist, and everyone will say Ah, Babs, we warned you, but for now, I accept that he's doing a very predictable, very irrational thing, and I've made my peace with it. 

---

My job has glue traps. 

No one likes the glue traps, but we don't have a lot of options. Poison's banned by state law, spring traps are banned by company safety, and several non-lethal options tried in the past failed to work. The mouse problem can get pretty bad if it's ignored, and there's some real health hazards in that. Our site has never had a positive hantavirus test, thank God, but the big base about a half hour away has. That guy's gonna be on oxygen the rest of his life. 

If a mouse gets caught, we just euthanize it. But more than mice get stuck. Lizards can wander into those traps too, and the people working there have different feelings about the lizards. They don't pose nearly the same kind of risk mice do. They're chill little guys, and they keep the moths away, and they're just 

You know. They're friendly. There's something to be said about walking into a room, and hitting the light switch, and seeing two little guys on the wall start to do pushups as soon as they see you. 

People used to just euthanize the lizards too, but I had pet leopard geckos as a kid and I couldn't take that so I wound up googling how to free animals from glue traps. Now, when a lizard gets stuck in a trap - which happens once or twice a week - I get some vegetable oil from the breakroom, and a little plastic fork, and I'll spend fifteen to twenty minutes just kind of gently prying the little guys out. 

I have a team of technicians that help me operate one of the larger machines. They're real blue collar guys, ex-airforce, and they make me look like a little kid. Being an engineer means they'll look to me as a leader sometimes, which is a wild experience. And I started helping the lizards for my own conscience, but one of the crazier consequences of it has been that it seriously boosted my leadership cred. Because those guys see me, and they go: Hey. If he's willing to fight for a lizard, he's gotta be willing to fight for me. 

I cannot overstate how nice that is. Most engineers that want to make a change to a maintenance practice, or try an upgrade, they have to work their asses off to get the techs to buy in. But I can just ask. They already trust me to do good. They know I'm new, and they know I'm not the smartest engineer in the building, but they also know I'm the one who gets lizards out of the glue traps. 

And just because of that, they're willing to follow me. 

---

My boss has a meeting every month or two. It's typically basic house cleaning stuff - reminders about routines we've gotten lazy on, and updates on future projects. Maybe some warnings about problems coming from higher up in the company.

People are, in my opinion, a bit too cynical about the meetings. It stems from people not trusting our boss, which again, I understand, because it would make so much more sense if he wasn't trustworthy. It's a testament to the man's incredibly unhealthy priorities that he is. But as we made it to the end of the meeting, one of bullet points was: 

Do NOT mess with animals in the building. 

So I looked at my techs, and they looked at me, and when he got to the point, he was so scathing I actually just wanted to crawl under a rock and die. He said basically that he'd heard some reports about someone in the building handling animals that found their way in and got stuck, and that he just wanted to emphasize how insanely inappropriate that was, not to mention dangerous, and that if he needed to speak to anyone about it again, there would be severe consequences. 

I was willing to just take the shame and move on. I was. But one of my techs is old. Old enough he could've retired two years ago. And his actual literal goal is to one day get angry, yell at someone, and storm out. That's how he wants to retire. So instead of biting his tongue like everyone else, he stood up and said: I hate the glue traps. You hate the glue traps. We all hate glue traps. But we've all sat here for years, ignoring the little things that get stuck in them, watching them die, and then Bab's comes in, and he is the first person in decades to give enough of a shit to start pulling the lizards out. And I don't want him to stop. 

Get humane traps or shut up but we are not going back to the old way of just letting things starve. 

And my boss actually froze up. He got all wide eyed and stared at Marc, and then the other techs jumped in, and there was a very small but intense rebellion in the meeting and my boss kept trying to interrupt while getting absolutely bowled over by this gang of angry middle aged air force vets, and eventually he just went 

I will speak with Babylon about this afterwards! After! And then he will speak with everyone else, but I have more points to cover. 

So they went silent, and my boss rushed through the last five minutes, and we all adjounred. The techs really didn't like that I was going in alone - they thought our boss was going to try and shout me into compliance. Marc in particular was like, Look, if he tries bullying you, stand your ground, and if he threatens anything, just come get us, and we'll give him hell. 

So armed with that, I went to my boss's office. I sat in the chair across from him, and he kept his composure for maybe five seconds before just flopping back into his chair. 

I had no idea you were saving lizards, he said, but I'm glad you are. I always hated seeing them die in the glue.  

I wasn't expecting that. I was about to ask him what the comment from the meeting was about then, but he answered that before I even got the chance.

A snake got into the building last week, and - someone picked it up and chased a coworker around. Turns out that coworker was severely afraid of snakes, and now it's a shitshow. We're a small site, and now I can't ask those two to work together anymore, to say nothing about how the snake fared after all that. Being upset about that is a reasonable thing, right? 

And he gave me a look like he actually wanted an answer, so I said Yeah, totally, chasing a coworker around with a snake is a dick move. Especially if that coworker is already afraid of snakes. 

And he said Exactly! and then we sat there a few moments longer. He looked so incredibly tired that I did, actually, feel kind of bad for him. And then he somehow managed to sink even further into his chair, and said

Look, I know I'm not a good guy. But I'm not evil. I'm not some sort of crazy asshole that's going to demand that everyone watch lizards starve to death. When you go back downstairs, could you try to pass that on? That I'm not evil? 

I said Sure because it wasn't a hard request, and he looked relieved. I actually made it halfway out before I realized I had a question. 

Who grabbed the snake? I asked. 

Not supposed to talk about it, he said. But whoever comes to mind first is probably right. 

ThatGuy? I asked. And he looked me in the face, nodded his head yes, and said No. 

---

The techs seemed a little disappointed that they didn't get to storm the boss's office, but were otherwise in good spirits. They were actually a little bit embarrassed to hear about the snake story - apparently, it wasn't much of a secret. It'd just slipped their minds because it happened three weeks ago. 

We did maintenance after that, the same basic repairs we did every week. The meeting had been stressful and it was a relief to work with my hands. When the parts were reinstalled, everything cleaned and smooth and ready to go, Marc found me again. 

You know what the lesson of today is? he asked. And there were quite a few answers to that that I could have taken - from don't assume the worst of people to be careful with how you spend your trust - we all need it more than we think. 

But instead I said what? because I wanted to hear what his answer was going to be. 

That I got your back, he said. Then he clapped one very, very large hand on my shoulder, gave it a good squeeze, and walked back to dosimetry lab.

---

The next day, Marc gave me a package and told me to open it in my office. I was suspicious, but I followed the request.

Cardboard gave way to a small baggie, obviously full of fabric, which opened to reveal a t-shirt that read

"I Am the Motherfucking Lizard King."

I looked at it, I loved it, and then I got an idea. I went to my boss's office and knocked on the door. When he opened it, I asked him if he would be willing to allow something very unprofessional to happen for morale building purposes.

How unprofessional? he asked. I held the shirt up in answer. He gave the shirt a short look over and snorted.

You can wear it on weeks without customers, he said. Which just so happened to include that week.

I'll pass on that it came with your blessing, I replied, and he looked oddly relieved.

Thanks, he said. And then I went downstairs.

---

The techs were very, very happy to see the shirt. And while my boss's reputation remains in tatters, and probably will be until he moves (or dies), the next time there was a meeting, there was quite a bit less complaining about how mere presence. Which is, I guess, a start.

We'll see if he squanders it.

[seilon]

just sent a hastily-made new resume to a hiring manager at a place i might get a summer job at and realized after sending it that it still has “MONTH 20XX – MONTH 20XX” written for one of my past jobs’ durations fucking shoot me

[dazais-crab-addiction]

It's like how another person I saw put it: Atsushi's backstory with the headmaster is an amazing representation of children with abusive parents. Even though they hurt you, they were also all you knew of being cared for, so you have very complicated feelings about it. Being distressed over someone you'd have very strongly wished dead before hand dying is something that takes all of those emotions and just twists them around in a big jumbled mess.

I have loved Atsushi from the beginning and adored the way he acts and reacts to things because I find them very relatable. And I know I'd react the same here in his place.

i get so PISSED when ppl r like "bsd is saying hte headmaster was a good guy" because no?????????????? the headmaster's backstory isnt revealed for us to be like "omg he loved atsushi after all <33" its to show that hey, this character has a very twisted adn fucked up logic, and yes, he may have cared for atsushi in some type of way, but what he did was inexcusable and unjustifiable and the actions of a pathetic desperate man who should not have been around kids;;; we're not supposed to forgive the headmaster, we're not even supposed to like him

we're supposed to see him as human fucked up and horrific but human. his actions have "reasons" but those reasons are NOT justifying his actions, theyre explaining his mindset;;; we learn about the headmaster, because it explains the complicated relationship atsushi has with his past (the one person he knew, who had authority over him like how a parent might, abused and tortured atsushi, leaving him with complicated feelings because he hates the headmaster, he wants the headmaster to approve of him, he wants to know why the headmaster hates him, he wants to kill the headmaster, he wants answers to his abuse, he wants to know whats wrong with him, the headmaster was the only constant atsushi had) because it shows that the headmaster was not some big evil, he was human, and in his humanity is his evil --- he didn't hurt atsushi because he was some sort of big bad creature who had no understanding of pain love or humanity, he was a human, who knew what his actions were, who knew what he was doing, but chose to do it anyway, because of his own twisted thinking --- he's evil because he's conscious of his actions and he still chooses to do them, he's evil because he's human, and acts inhumane despite that

a character having a sad backstory, a character being dynamic, a character not existing as a flat perception of another character, does not justify their actions, nor does it redeem them. it explains them to us, the readers -- it's gives us an insight to them, it doesn't justify them, it doesn't excuse them, it explains them.

editing to add:

atsushi crying over the headmaster isnt because the headmasters suddenly a good guy, atsushi is crying because he has complicated feelings towards him, including grief --- yes he's grieving someone who was only evil to him, because atsushi hated him, wanted to understand why he was doing this to him, wanted to kill him, wanted to prove him wrong -- because the headmaster was a constant to him, he was all he knew for a long time;; he was his frame of reference for the outside world, his frame of reference to everything, other people, himself, family -- he's grieving, he's relieved, its complicated, its messy, because atsushi is feeling illogical human emotions, not because he's forgiving him

[phagodyke]

nvm im too tired and overstimulated for this shit

[writtenbymoonflower]

how about

and hear me out

room mate! marauders who are obsessed with their shy roomate

oh trust me, hunny, i am hearing you. hope this is okay! shy gn!reader x poly!marauders

cw: nothing really, just fluff, reader is very flustered

1.1k words

Your eyes were blurry as you shuffled into the sunny kitchen. You weren’t used to waking up to the curtains open and breakfast on the stove. You’d lived with people before of course, but none as lively as this bunch. You weren’t complaining, though, you were quickly warming to them, even though you had probably spoken a total of 50 words to your new housemates in the three weeks you had lived with them. Most of these words likely consisting of sorry, excuse me, thank you. 

They had been talking though. Ever since the day you met they had been treating you like their best friend. Not even that. They were all best friends. (Though you considered that wasn’t all, on more than one occasion you had caught Sirius with his head in James’ lap, or Remus’ legs swung over one of the other boys. You had also observed a fair number of kisses between the three boys). But rather, they treated you like something precious, like a porcelain doll they were begging to get a hold of.

That thought made you immediately think of the nickname Sirius (or ‘Pads’ as the boys occasionally called him) had stuck you with. 

“Hey, dollface! You sleep well?” The coal-haired boy looked like he was itching to beckon you under his arm, but resisted. You were thankful, not knowing if you could survive that.

“It was good.” You hummed, barely legible to James over the sound of his bacon sizzling. You padded over to the breakfast table, sitting one chair away from Sirius and his huge bowl of cereal. No sooner had you sat down when a steaming cup of coffee was placed in front of you by a spindly hand. 

“Here you go, dovey.” Remus sat in the chair between you and Sirius. 

“Oi, Moons. You’re blocking my view.” You turned in your chair to look behind you at the ‘view’ he was referring to, brows scrunching in confusion when all you saw was the archway. You heard a light chuckle from Remus and a snicker from Sirius as you whipped back around. The possible meaning dawned on you, making you his your heated face in your mug.

“Don’t torture the poor thing.” James scolded, giving a (what you were sure he believed was comforting) squeeze to your shoulder before he sat on your other side.

“I never tortured anyone.” Remus corrected from behind his morning paper, slowly eating a cup of berry-yogurt. “Collective punishment is a war crime, Prongs” 

“Leavin’ me to the wolves huh, Moons?” Sirius sassed, sipping on his coffee that was mostly just cream and sugar. 

“Oh trust me, I’m sure we all know how much you’d love to be left to the wolf.” James smirked, clearly in on a joke that you had no idea about. He abandoned his teasing to turn to you, fixing a horribly kind look that made your tummy turn to mush. “There is some bacon and eggs on the stove for breakfast, but I’m sure Sirius would let you into his cereal.” 

“There’s also yogurt.” Remus looked pointedly to his near-empty cup. 

“Oh no, I’m okay. I could never take your food. I’m not hungry anyway.” You muttered into your mug. 

“You’ve gotta eat somethin’ babydoll. Can’t have you skipping meals.” Sirius had a playful, if not protective tilt to his tone. 

“I’ll find somethin’ don’t worry.” You scrubbed your bleary eyes with irritated cadence, still on the brink of sleep despite the warm caffeine swirling in your system. Thick fingers wrapped around your wrist to pull your offending hand away. 

“Gentle, sweetheart.” James scolded lightly. “Gonna hurt yourself like that.” He squeezed your hand before letting it go but it felt oddly like your face and your lungs were being squeezed as well. If this was the boys normal, you weren’t sure if you were going to survive. 

You mumbled a sorry looking at the mahogany table like it held the meaning of life, or the extra hour of sleep you desperately craved. 

“What’ve we told you? You say sorry too much, sweet thing. It’s like, your favorite word or something.” Sirius laughed, slurping down his cereal milk and licking his chops. You bit back another apology and rubbed your eyes again, though much more gentle this time. James cooed in sympathy. 

“You still sleepy?” He rubbed your back again, which made you both more heated and more drowsy. 

“Yeah.” You hummed, shamefaced as you played with the hem of your oversized t-shirt. You were thankful that you were still too shy to not wear long pants around them, because they would definitely be able to tell how tensed your legs were. Remus set his paper down.

“Do you have work today, love?” 

“No, ‘s my day off.” James grinned at that, but Sirius spoke up. 

“Happy coincidence! It’s ours too.” He grinned. “How about we all watch something? We can put something on in the lounge room and you can catch a bit of sleep on the settee?” He suggested. You shrunk at the thought of sleeping in front of them, but weren’t opposed to the idea.

“We’ll make sure to wake you up so you don’t sleep the day away.” James added, still rubbing your back. You were easily convinced. 

“Okay, that does sound nice.” Barely above a whisper. 

“We can all have a big lunch when you get up, too. Maybe we could go out?” Remus suggested as he led you gently to the living room. You tried to make your way to the armchair, but you were tugged to the couch. 

“That won’t be comfy, dollface. Here you go.” Sirius sat on the settee close to one arm, Remus by the other. Sirius pulled you between them while James sat on the floor and you whined in protest. 

“No, I’ll move. You sit here, James.”

Remus swore that was the loudest he had ever heard you speak. 

“No, I’m good right here. Thanks though, sweetness.” James reassured. He was sat in the middle, though rather close to Remus so the mousy boy could reach out with one hand and scratch James’ scalp, roving his long fingers through the thick curls. You were so distracted that you were startled when Sirius tugged on you again, maneuvering your head onto a pillow that laid on his lap. You tensed before relaxing into his warmth. You tucked your legs into yourself as Remus covered you with a blanket before going back to loving on James. 

“There you go, baby. That feel nice?” Sirius said, unfamiliarly soft as he stroked your hair, hand a welcome warmth on your scalp. 

Baby. Baby. Baby.

It would surprise you if you woke up from this nap. Your heart had nearly stopped on the spot.

[reidmania]

use somebody | spencer reid

part two

summary; spencer doesn’t believe someone like you could ever like someone like him, but he would do anything for a chance.

warnings; fem!reader, reader is described as being really really kind, bau!worker reader, fluff (slight angst bc spencer doubts himself) reader is a bundle of joy idk, spencer is absolutely disgustingly in love with reader. reader has a dog ( a golden retriever ) reader IS A BOOK LOVER, reader is shorter than spencer., no love confession but like there basically is. maybe a part two coming idk!

an; this is based off use somebody by kings of leon bc that song just AHHHH

‘I've been roamin' around, always lookin' down at all I see, painted faces fill the places I can't reach. You know that I could use somebody, you know that I could use somebody, someone like you and all you know and how you speak, countless lovers under cover of the street, you know that I could use somebody, you know that I could use somebody. Someone like you, off in the night, while you live it up, I'm off to sleep, wagin' wars to shape the poet and the beat. I hope it's gonna make you notice, I hope it's gonna make you notice someone like me’

If there was a single light in a room, it would be your smile. Spencer had decided that the minute you introduced yourself to him on your first day, your wide smile was the first thing he noticed, then your kind voice — ever since Spencer Reid’s heart had your name written all over it and you had no idea.

You had been talking to Emily, your hands flinging around the more excited you got about whatever it was you were talking about, you were still smiling when Spencer approached with furrowed eyebrows after Emily had noticed him in the doorway and called him over to introduce himself to the team newest member.

You had introduced yourself with probably the widest, and sweetest grin he had ever seen. He almost forgot about the amount of germs spread through hand shaking when you offered him yours. He was pretty sure he felt the most embarrassment and disappointment when he didn’t forget — and turned down your handshake with his name and a silly ramble about what your name means historically.

He didn’t miss the way your smile never dampened — not even after his rejection of your offered hand, not during his embarrassingly long ramble, not as you listened intriguingly and then told him how cool it was that he just knew that off the top of his head.

That was a year, forty three days, 16 hours and 27 minutes ago — not that Spencer was counting. But he definitely was.

Your kindness won his heart from that moment. Your smile became his moral support during a particularly tough case. It seemed all the less tense when you would meet his eyes from across the room and offer him the sweetest smile. Your small gifts you left around for each member of the team became what he looked forward to and the end of every week — each more thoughtful than the last.

Spencer had kept the collection of small gifts you had given him on the shelf of his bedroom. Each one was specific to him. If someone on the team had mentioned wanting something or something they liked — at the end of the week it would be sitting on their desk with a little pink sticky note and a small ‘I hope you like it!’ in your hand writing.

He noticed that a lot of the time your gifts for him reference whatever he had rambled about the most that week, because he never explicitly told you he wanted anything or liked something because he knew you would go out of your way to get him it — you however found a way anyways.

Doctor who figurines, books, dvd’s. one week you had noticed him fidgeting more than normal and on the friday evening you had left a small collection of different fidget toys for him, with the same pink sticky note that wrote, ‘Picking at your skin is bad!! it can lead to infections and sometimes if you do it too much you could end up needing surgery. (I dont know if thats true, doctor google wasn’t helpful!) I hope these help’

He hadn’t picked at his skin since, if he was fidgeting it was with one of the small metal fidgets you had gifted him.

“Good morning!” You chirped — suddenly the room seemed brighter as you walked into the bullpen, your bag was slung over your shoulders as you made your way towards your desk. You turned your head to offer Spencer a sweet smile.

He returned it, lifting his hand to wiggle his fingers in a gentle waving. A habit he had picked up from you. You never just waved like everyone else did, instead you just held up your hand and wiggled your fingers. When you were asked about it you had smiled and shrugged and said it seemed like your fingers were dancing.

Spencer was pretty sure it was the sweetest reasoning for something he had even heard, but maybe that was just the fact it was coming from you.

“Did you like the dvd I gave you on Friday? The documentary one — if you have even watched it yet! I thought it was interesting!!” You said as you placed your bag on your desk. He thought his heart was going to jump out of his chest at the way your hair fell over your face when your head dropped down to look at your desk.

He shuffled slightly at his desk to sit up a little bit straighter. “I watched it.” He stated. Any dvd you gave him he watched the night he had got it. This one particularly — he had known all of the information that was in it, but it didn’t stop him from enjoying it any less — because you liked it enough to recommend it to him.

“I thought it was interesting.” He nodded, you lifted your head and smiled and he started to wonder at what point that sweet smile would stop having an effect on him. He partly hoped it never would. “I watched another one yesterday. I think you’d like it.” He said, not mentioning the fact he had paid extra attention to all of it, making sure it included something you were interested in, just so he could recommend it to you then talk to you about it the next day.

You grinned, leaning against your desk as you looked at him. He was thankful your desk was so close to his. That you were so close to him. Close enough to have a conversation without having to talk across the room, close enough that he could lean over and help with whatever you needed if you asked.

“The documentaries you watch might be a little above my expertise. I think I’ll just be confused the entire time” You giggled out, tilting your head slightly to the side. He shook his head instantly, eyes following the hair that fell the way your head tilted, down your shoulder.

“You’re smart, you’d understand.” He said.

You smiled and raised your eyebrow slightly, “I’m not smart like you’re smart, Spence.” You shook your head, just as he had a few minutes ago.

He shrugged, “Not many people are” It came out cockier than he intended, he was about to apologise for how it sounded before he heard you let out a gutty laugh. A real laugh. “If- If you’d like.. We uh- We could watch it together and I could explain to you whatever you don’t understand” He added, then he realised he had basically just invited you to hang out with him. Just you and him, in an unprofessional setting. Now his mind was fuelled by the fear of rejection.

That fear dimmed when your smile widened. “Really? That would be great! I’d love that.” You had said.

Spencers mind went to almost a million different places in that moment. He thought about curling up with you on his couch, the documentary playing on his tv as you focused intently on whatever information was being said, he would admire you, he would ache to pull you closer and kiss your smiling lips.

Then he remembered how kind you were. The memory was both a blessing and a curse because then he remembered that your acceptance was probably an acceptance from your kind heart and want to spend time with your friend, opposed to wanting to spend time with him.

You smiled at him sweetly again before you were rushing off to greet JJ and tell her about something silly or maybe talk about whatever the two of you did on the weekend. He knew you often went out with the girls of the team on weekends.

Those nights he would lay in bed and wonder what you were doing, what you were wearing, how your hair was done, if you were laughing at a strangers jokes — you probably were. He knew that because you laughed at everyone’s jokes.

if all the joy in the world was wrapped up into a bundle and forced upon a person — that person was you. Spencer didn’t know if he had ever seen you not smiling and honestly his heart ached for the day he would have to.

“Hey Spence?” His head turned instantly towards the sound of your voice, he looked around to see you on your tiptoes trying to reach a file from a top shelf. He couldn’t help but smile at the sight. You didn’t need to say anything else before he was standing and walking over towards you.

He reached up, fingertips skimming along the files, “Which one do you need?” He asked gently, his eyes dipping away from the files to meet yours as you returned flat on your feet, a grateful smile on your lips, staring up at him.

��Um” You paused, eyebrows furrowing before a laugh left your lips, “The.. second one- I think” You paused before nodding.

He smiled “You think?” reaching up to pull out the second file nonetheless. He heard you sigh dramatically — he didn’t need to look at you to know you were smiling still, probably pushing hair behind your ear.

“Yes, I think.” You stated. He pulled out the file, handing it to you. You took it gently, flicking through it for a moment, your eyes dancing along the words on the page before nodding.

You scrunched up your nose a little when you looked back up at him. “— I thought right! Thank you Spence. You’re amazing and great and awesome” You rambled, flooding him with praise. He felt his cheeks warm at your never ending compliments despite how often you gave them. You constantly reminded him how amazing you thought he was — when he was doing the most minimal things.

He wanted to take it as a sign that maybe you felt the same way he did but then you’d flood someone else with the same praise and that flame of hope would dwindle down just as fast as it came alight.

“You’re welcome” He settled on as his eyes lingered on yours for a moment, your cheeks were a warm shade of pink and he wondered if that had anything to do with him rather than the fact the room was just a little bit warmer than normal.

You grinned and turned away. He followed as you walked back towards the desks. He sat down at his desk, swivelling his chair to face your desk. “I was thinking — if you wanted, this weekend we could watch that documentary at mine, my dog gets a bit excited around new people but he could stay outside if it makes you more comfortable— Oh and theres a new take away shop near my house if you wanted to get dinner” You rambled about your plan’s absentmindedly as you looked over the case.

Spencer felt his heart pull for a number of reasons, one because he didn’t even know you had a dog. He couldn’t help but wonder if everyone else did and this was just a piece of information he had missed out on. Secondly, at the fact you were serious about watching the documentary with him. You actually wanted to.

He had partly assumed you had just agreed because you were kind and didn’t want to hurt his feelings, and it would just be plans you two never really followed through with. He should’ve known better — because it was you.

“You don’t have plans with the girls?” He asked, eyebrows pinched together because he could clearly remember this morning hearing you and Emily talk about where you guys would go this weekend.

You let out a gentle laugh, shaking your head. “Im making plans with you actually. I go out with them every weekend, I’m sure they will survive without me for one.” You smiled sweetly at him, and his heart felt like it was being clenched by someones tight hand.

He tried to hide the fact his cheeks had turned an ugly shade of pink, and that his eyes had blinked away from your captivating gaze for a moment. “That- Yeah- Yeah. That would, thats fine. Your dog is fine. We can get dinner.” He stammered out, because apparently your kindness took away his ability to think straight. Although he knew that already.

“Great!” You smiled. Suddenly Spencer hoped this week would go fast. He turned his gaze back to yours as a question weighed on his tongue, a wonder.

“What type of dog do you have?” He asked, his tone laced with curiosity as he watched you reorganise your desk. How you were smiling while doing something so mundane had his stomach filling with an ache of longing.

You raised your eyes back to his, a gasp of excitement leaving your lips at the opportunity to talk about your dog. “A golden retriever!!” You said, before going into a ramble about your dog.

He grinned as he listened to every word. He couldn’t help but think, a golden retriever. That was so fitting.

What Spencer wasn’t expecting at the end of the week, was a book sitting on his desk. The book wasn’t the surprising part. It was the pink sticky note and what it had written on it that sparked his curiosity.

‘I read this last week and I know romance novels aren’t usually your style but I thought of you. Its annotated. The key is on the back. Have the greatest night <3’

You had already left for the night after dropping everyone’s weekly small gift off around their desks and waving goodbye. Spencer knew you left a little earlier than anyone else to get the bus. You knew how to drive, you had a car. When he had asked you why you got the bus everyday you had told him you just enjoyed people watching.

He constantly worried about what may happen with the dangers of public transport and with how kind you were — well you would be an easy target. How could he tell you that he worried about you when you gave him the sweetest reasoning in the world? How could he tell you he worried without pouring his heart out to you.

Spencer went home that night and in bed he read the book you had gifted him — you were right, romance novels weren’t necessarily his favourite but it didn’t stop him from reading it with just as much interest because it was you that recommended it.

His eyes danced along the key on the back for your annotation. Pink was things you found sweet, green was moments you found interesting, yellow was things that moments that made you sad. — that one made Spencer’s lips pull into a tug because how dare anything make someone so sweet so sad?

But what really caught his interest was the blue. ‘things i want you to know’ It made him wonder what things in this book could possibly be something you wanted him to know.

When reading, he came across many colours and lines highlighted, most in pink and green, a few in yellow, but there was only one part highlighted in blue, it was lines in a conversation in the middle of a particularly mushy love confession between the two characters of the book.

‘You smile a lot.’ was highlighted in blue,

and then, “When you’re around, its hard not to’

Spencer didn’t know what it meant — thats not true. He knew what it meant, he knew what you were saying but he didn’t know what it meant about how you felt about him. His mind swirled with the possibility that you might feel something for him.

How it was possible that someone like you, could ever feel anything for someone like him had his mind in a frenzy.

That didn’t matter when Spencer finished the book and added it to the collection of items you had gifted him, he kept the sticky note and placed it back on the book. He looked over the collection — each gift partnered with the sticky note you had written when gifting them.

Spencer Reid loved you, and if he played any part in making you smile — That was enough for him.

[blearyfaced]

.

starting to realize that even if im not feeling so terrible i still somehow end up isolating. at first i thought it was to process things that made me feel bad or to process stuff in general, which i still dont know if helps, but now that im thinking im noticing that ive been doing it for a long time to a lot of important people. its not always about difficult topics, i could simply be talking to a friend and next thing i know i havent replied in over 12 hours, sometimes more. i dont answer texts, i dont pick up calls, i dont even read the messages and its usually because i cant bring myself to do it even if i really want to and isnt that messed up. i dont want to isolate i want to connect and be there but i cant. im trying to understand why this happens but i keep coming up blank. am i hiding from something? most of these people care about me so what am i even running away from? is that what this is?