#there's also still new people following this blog which i dont really understand but welcome lol | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

pandaladie · 5 months

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My stupid guide to getting the stupid list of people YOU FOLLOW on tumblr

if tumblr has some way fo getting a list of usernames and urls of blogs you follow i don't know of it, if theres some script i don't know it, if theres anything. LET ME KNOW. but since i dont think there is welcome to my bruteforce method of getting a list of people you follow.

I am not a coder, i don't know how to do this with a program, and i dont know of any program that does it, no programmer thats going to or anything so im bruteforcing this in perhaps a stupid way but it works

go to your https://www.tumblr.com/following page

its just this same link, it takes you to the list of everyone you follow Then you need to load EVERY FOLLOWER by scrolling ALLL THE WAY DOWN the list, i have 2000 blogs i follow but ti doesnt take long for me to get to the end, yes you have to do this.

rightclick and select inspect

a box will come up, this might be scary for non techy people, don't worry were just looking at the code underneath the site, nothing you change will be permanent. dont mess around here unless you know kinda what youre doing, but dont be scared for what were gonna do.

there are several tabs to this new window, we want to be in the inspector tab, and when you mouse over the text in here you can notice that it flashes certain parts of tumblr. these different lines all pertain to certain spots of the webpage so you can see what tumblr wants you to see.

we want to find where they put the followers

so were gonna hover over:

and notice that the very center and only the center where you're followers are shown is lit up, that means inside this line somewhere is your follower list ((its not gonna be pretty)) use the little arrow on the side of this line and click it to expand the underlying code (this is really called nesting i think im not a coder, basically when there an arrow, theres stuff in there)

open the next arrow too (main something something)

keep hovering over the lines within this one and see which one lights up the center and only open that one, next one is "section something something" next class something something

now this might start to look familliar to you if you read all these "data-cell-id=" lines these are all the people you follows usernames,

I'm sure someone who knows how to code would be able to grab this in a neat way and put it in a text document for us, but i dont know how to do that i just know i want it.

so what i do is:

right click the line whose arrow we just opened to be able to see this and select "copy, inner html" this line to be clear

and i make a new notepad document(txt) on my computer, and i paste all that shit in there. and yes it looks like complete nonsense because everything is going everywhere with text you dont need or understand. dont worry about it. you still have all your list of following usernames in there.

now i used vs code(or visual studio code) (its a free program you can just get it if you want use google) and you dont even need to know any coding for this cleaning step. to clean this up, i open the document i created with all this shit in it in vs code and it has the capability to select every instance of a word or symbol or whatever and delete every single one, or replace it. it can also write with multiple cursors at the end of every line of text at the same time. so this way i can get rid of all this nonsense stuff to line up everyones usernames the way i'd like.

you can use google to figure out how to do this, or fuff about in vs code, but selecting a chunk and right clicking and choosing "change all occurrences" is what i used the most.

now if someone who actually codes could… help.. help me please.. dont let anyone else have to use this guide, there has to be a better way. thank you i love you

#tumblr #tumblr guide #tumblr followers #tumblr following #tumblr list #guide #tumblr following list #list of people you follow #please mr google let someone in need see #please mr google let some coder who can help see

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soccerpunching · 1 year

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(if you haven't already answered this before:) how did you get into Ina11 and made you make this blog for it?

I dont think I've answered this before either (correct me if im wrong though). This goes under the cut like all of my long answers to personal asks...

For some context (this is relevant to my relationship with anime and fandom), I used to be nonverbal for the good 11-12-ish years of my life until I was traumatized out of it so now I'm semiverbal ((with like auditory hallucination, anxiety (general and social), depression, ptsd, etc)). I won't tell anything regarding this experience.

It's not really uncommon for Filipinos my age and older to be into anime because this is everything that the afternoon and morning television have for you. You would know naruto, goku, luffy, etc against your will and I was not immune to that. During that time also cable was really common (and was not paid per fucking channel, that started a few years later though) so I used to watch a lot of anime in Hero TV, Animax Ph, Cartoon Network PH, etc i dont remember the others.

I found inazuma eleven and other anime on one of them and got into it immediately (also because of my trauma) but because some personal things have to happen, I started watching all the anime I got into that time on illegal sites instead.

I was not an internet person and i cant get into chats because of the experience I've mentioned above so even though i like anime and have been reading every fanfiction about my fav shows that time and were even writing some of my own (mostly fairy tail and dbz but all are now deleted or orphaned), I never tried to get into any fandom (I am aware of how fandoms are because i had a personal twitter that i only use for rts that time but i never engaged because they were big fandoms who have... issues)... this was all until the pandemic happened.

After the pandemic, it was like people can understand my experiences suddenly and it made me feel like there are safe spaces now for me to be in so somewhere in 2021 I created a fandom tumblr and twitter account at the same time. Tumblr was overwhelming for me initially so I stayed in twitter (this is during my Encanto phase so my twitter has a small following even right now from that small fandom)... it was a so and so experience but it is my first so it was made better because of that small welcoming fandom...

A bit after that, I got into the naruto and dragon ball fandom which was a big mistake because it made me picked up some toxic feelings and even behaviour that I do not want. I tried learning tumblr more and decided that I'll stay here at the moment. I realized that the dragon ball fandom here actually have nicer people and are more mature and critical while being respectful of others so I enjoyed my tumblr stay!! I made a lot of dragon ball posts that gave me great tumblr mutuals that I still talk to to this day even after my dragon ball brainrot is gone.

Before 2022 ended, I needed a break because of some personal matters. I got into inazuma eleven again during this time after rewatching galaxy (i wanted to be inspired by their alien character designs but it had a different effect). It sparked my love for the series and made me reopen some old concepts and fanfic ideas I had for it before (this includes the vent fic I mentioned once where Kidou was evil, Endou was dead, Gouenji was a pediatrician, and Aki was the leader of a rebellion against kageyama's reign with Fudou by her side). And then, I started writing new ones nonstop for about 4 months (80k words for two different fanfic series btw that are both unfinished).

I started following some inazuma eleven blogs in May this year until I feel like I needed to make posts myself at about the start of June. The fandom had the encanto vibe to me with a cross to how old fandoms feel so it was really nice to be here!! And the rest is history ig?? hehe

Sorry for the really long answer and thanks for the ask!

#sorry for the other asks that i havent answered yet still #i still have things to do at my end so i will be back later again #not fandom lore #halftime lore vs anon

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figula · 1 year

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this evening was a bit of a :|

a few hours after clare left benno told me that tmr we're gonna have to have a pub lunch w/ his family so i immediately freaked out bc this additional Thing on top of seeing boops & his gf last weekend + having clare this weekend (after like, 3y of nothing, bear in mind, so EVEN THO i was so happy to see them both it also took a decent amount of time to like stop being anxious + come down from that spike. like im still a little keyed up now. they both follow me on here btw + none of this is news to them i hope lol. i love u both im just insane x)

i got so angry (not at ben but at the situation, through fear) that i juts stopped talking and went away upstairs to lie in my bed to try and calm down alone

a few mins later ben came uptsairs + i immediately was like "i really just want to be alone actually" then realised he was crying so i was like ...ok come in (crying trumps general rage in terms of Need i think)

we think it's a long-term mental effect of the pandemic where he gets rly emotional after a social event ends bc it reminds him of like the 3y where it was just us in this tiny little universe + he panics bc i think he goes like straight to that place in his mind where he's just never gonna see anyone again? like every goodbye feels like it's gonna be forever

so anyway he tried to get me to talk about MY feelings during this time + i was just like sry i cant lol. you know when you're hollowed out inside through a combo of rage / general madness / having to remain compos mentis for someone else who needs you. AINT GONNA HAPPEN

so after that settled down i did message him on discord like "love u, not angry, will talk to you later this eve about MY feelings" (+ did stick to this obvs)

think the general sticking point is that while ben seems to have been a bit traumatised by lockdown + the social isolation i found it incredibly incredibly easy + stress-free, + have found the slow transition to normal life v difficult (and still do find it both difficult + incredible to watch in the sense that we're all just pretending covid is over bc like it's easier ig??). ill just c/p what i said to ben here: "if you found the lockdown unexpectedly traumatic I found it lovely and have found the return to normal really difficult & think people are just pretending we're back to pre COVID times when we aren't and I find that cognitive dissonance very hard to deal with, I also can't stand gatherings based around food anyway as you know and it seems to literally be all that is ever on offer and it struck me in the same way as the pret in Portsmouth or you being invited out for the meal when my sister was here etc busy couple of weeks that filled me with huge levels of anxiety and stress, thought tomorrow might be a bit more low key but no, got to to do something else I fucking loathe just very fed up and tired"

he asked me again to talk to him more about my feelings instead of just suddenly crashing when something slightly unexpected happens - i said yes - i think im just confused by how much he wants me to talk to him about LOOOL like if i told him every single anxious thought or w/e id be talking to him 24/7 and it just feels like i dont know which thoughts are the ones to share + which aren't???

anyway w/e it got sorted out w/ solid communication i think tbh like ben says we wont do the lunch. i said that he could do it if he wants but there's not a chance in hell im stepping foot into that pub lmfao like there are so few things he wants to do that i actually refuse (hopefully if u read my blog regularly you will understand that this is true) but i have reached my limit on Events Not In My Comfort Zone, and idc if he wants to do it, he's welcome to, but i will walk around the village during that time he was like "ok that's not gonna happen sweetie bc they'll think you hate them" so we're just not doing it. i do feel bad but also i literally like cannot do it? like i am just fully comfortable in the knowledge that i cannot do it, will not do it, and am simply not doing it. so if that means ben isnt gonna do it either that's just gonna have to be how it is. like not to be dismissive but ... this is how i am + he picked me knowing that so like.

OK loads more shit happened in the hour i took away from this post, benny thinks it might be worth postponing the woods trip just bc he's worried how to spin the lunch thing (whereas im like if you want to tell them im insane just tellt hem idc) but we had a good chat in bed + i love him a lot lol. i do like how good we are at emotionally comforting each other. i think we should 100% go tmr but he's a bit fragile (see above lol) so ill just defer to him on this one, im not exactly in a position to be like "JUST POWER THROUGH!!" hahahhaha anyway we'll see how he's feeling tmr. he's more cheerful now anyway bc we had a nice chat + committed to making some post-wedding plans as well so he wont feel that giant post-event freakout that seems to be plaguing him atm

#we're gonna do pottery classes :D

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lets-talk-spirituality · 2 years

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hi there. i love your blog, ive been on my spiritual journey for a few years now but i dont have community or anyone to talk about these things with irl or ask questions. my family doesnt understand and my friends wont either. i wanted some advice if thats okay with you.... i am not the personality type to try and "wake up" others. im very interested in what some may call 'conspiracies' and uncovering truths but in the spiritual community i feel a great pressure to wake up others and try to get them to see truth. if someone asks me my opinion on something or i am a conversation i will gladly share. but i am not the type to go to a friend or someone i know and tell them "hey you should really not watch the news" or "you know celebs are puppets right?" or things like this. i prefer to lead by example and live my life and if someone is willing to talk than i will share. i dont get angry and argue with others for being "sheep". im not a loud rebellious revolutionary, and i think telling others what to do or force truth on them will turn them away even more especially with this kind of topics. but should i be doing more? should i be trying to wake people up and sharing the truth with them? i feel guilty at times because im not like this but i feel like i have a responsibility. what can i do?

Hi and welcome! I want to say that I think a lot of people forget that doing work on the self is still collective work. By going on your own spiritual journey and learning you are awakening others. I think you will know when you are meant to share because you will have unique contributions to add. I personally have been spiritual most my life and only felt like I should speak out this past year and only a few months ago opened this blog. What I would say you should do is follow your own inner guidance and if you don’t feel called to behave in that way then don’t. A lot of the spiritual community is still wrapped up a lot in ego and I think that shows up a lot in this savior complex thing of like I need to help or awaken people. I think the best route is to live your life to your truth which encourages others to live their truth and one day you find out you helped all these people awaken by having been you. You never know who’s watching. When I stopped eating meat I had some random family member tell me I inspired them to try being vegetarian. You never know who you’re impacting just by your presence. Let’s not forget that showing up and reflecting and trying to be your best you is the most important pursuit and all other things give to the universe. All you can control is you anyway.

I’d also encourage you to examine your guilt and trace that root. Why do you feel you need to perform spirituality and why do you feel like inaction is inherently more shameful? Really examine those type of feelings when they show up.

#spiritual insight #spiritual guidance #spiritual journey #spiritualawareness #spiritual evolution #spirituality #spiritual awakening #awakening #ask box

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madtickler39 · 3 years

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Welcome to Club T’s

One of my fan favorites from the old blog, enjoy:

One could look at Emily and assume her life was perfect A nice home, well off family that was well known in California. Naturally blonde hair, a petite little figure and long legs all around a smile that could turn a man to stone. Going to movie premieres, sports events and mingling with LA bigwigs, Emily was never long without something to do. Oh dont get me wrong, Emily never complained. She loved her family, loved her friends, loved her job. She’d never complain for a second. But still something was missing. That’s why Emily found herself where she was, in a taxi outside a new and mysterious club in downtown LA. She stared at the door for a long time before the driver finally asked “Are you gettin out or what?” Emily came back to reality and paid the driver, and stepped out of her car as confidently as she could. What she couldn't sell her blue dress and black heels could. She walked into the club like it was nobody’s business, and was an instant bombshell to the eligible young men at Club T’s. What made her walk into this particular club that night? Well, to understand that, we have to go back a little bit. Emily had a friend named Stephen, and one time not too long ago Stephen did something she couldn’t get out of her head. He tickled her. It wasn’t her first time being tickled, not by a longshot. For some reason, the feeling she got when he finally stopped kept coming back to her head like a drug, needing to come forward again and refusing any lesser pleasure. She had no trouble finding a man to do anything she wanted, but for some reason this one request proved elusive to her charms. After a brief search on the internet, she found out that club T’s was the place to find what she wanted. It wasn’t easy to find out how to get in, the people she was here to see were very secretive. The main club was just like any other club. The music was too loud, the drinks were too expensive and you couldn’t see or move anywhere. After a few minutes of moving around she found the specific corner that housed the VIP section of the club, she said the codeword to the bouncer, and with a smirk he let her in. It was the look a wolf gives a deer after a day without food, and it unsettled her. Inside, the VIP area was another world. The clothes were different, the lights were a bit brighter, and you could hear yourself over the music. The men were dressed in anything from suits to T-shirts while the girls were wearing some pretty revealing clothing, anything that exposed the belly, shorts, mini skirts and few of them wore heels. They wore colored wristbands, green yellow and red. Green was an open invitation, yellow required an ask, and red meant not to approach. Emily had a yellow wristband, fastened around her ankle like the website advised. There was more seating space than at any normal club here, couches and chairs everywhere. The dance floor had some people, but others were chasing each other around the floor, and in a couch by the corner a man had a captive girl in his lap. Her hands were bound and her feet were in his lap. As he grabbed the toe of her sock, her bound hands came up to her face to conceal her smile and she shook her head. He grinned evilly and slowly pulled the sock off, revealing her bare foot. At the edges of the dance floor were a few suspended cages, each with a girl inside and a person outside sticking a feather duster in. Emily asked the bartender “What’s all that about?” A cute redhead in a black corset said “Those girls work here. The customers pay to use the feather dusters for a time. They can also pay to remove clothing or lower the cages. It breaks the ice for the newcomers. Speaking of, is this your first time?” “Why yes” said Emily looking around. “Is this actually for real?” The bartender, whose nametag read “Sam” said “It sure is. I can lock you in that cage if you’re too nervous to get started on your own?” Emily blushed, and suddenly a voice came from behind her that said smoothly “Sam, hasn’t your boss told you not to mess with the new talent? Or do I have to tickle you for your tips again?” Sam blushed now, and backed towards the liquor shelf nervously. Emily asked the tall, suit clad stranger “What?” He said “Oh you haven’t heard? If you find their service in any way lacking, you have to give them the oppurtunity to get their tips tickled back into them. That’s why she wears a corset, her pits are her worst spot.” She hissed “Damon!” So you weren't kidding on the website” Emily asked. “This really is a tickle club.” Damon said “Oh yes, but if you want to see come by when Sam brings my bottle of Dom. She needs a good tickling to earn her tips back after that hiss…” Sam gulped. She’d done it now. Damon slapped down a 20 and said “Whatever the lady likes is on me.” Sam fixed Emily a drink and grabbed a champagne bottle, but Emily hesitated as Sam left. Sam looked over her shoulder and said “You comin? This is what you wanted right?” Emily finished her liquid courage, and followed Sam to a door labelled “Barefoot Room” Upon entering, Sam said “It’s quite literal, no shoes allowed inside.” Sam quickly kicked off her pumps and went inside, and Emily removed her peep toed heels to join her. “You learn quickly Emily” Damon smiled as he smiled at Emilys little feet as she flexed her toes “Im just amazed” Emily replied blushing as she felt Damon's gaze on her toes “Theres nothing to feel scared about Emily" Damon smiled as he took a sip of his drink. “so tell me what brings you here”” Emily took a deep breath, and then she started “It all started when my friend Stephen tickled my feet a few months ago. It felt...well I guess how a normal person feels being tickled. Sure, the laughing was fun but when it was happening I just wanted him to stop after a few seconds...afterwards I couldn’t get it out of my head. I tried forgetting it, distracting myself. Anytime I was alone with my thoughts, I thought of that sensation and how badly I wanted it back. So I found this place...and here I am.” “And here you are.” Damon said. He saw Emily look down nervously and said “Emily, come sit by me.” She came and sat down next to him hesitantly, and drew her feet behind her knees, where Damon couldn’t see them. It was all she could do not to blush. He asked her “Sam needs to be tickled if she wants her tips from me, where should she be tickled?” “Her underarms” Emily replied without hesitation. Sam shut her eyes and raised her arms, beginning to breathe heavily. She begged “Please be gentle.” Damon looked and raised an eyebrow “you answered that quickly for a newbie; I think we may have a little sadist here. Sam, I think we should let your new friend here do the honors” Emily looked nervous again, and said “You want me to tickle her?” Damon nodded silently and said “If you'd prefer I can tickle her. The whole time you watch her suffer knowing that it's coming for you next…” She was up in an instant, and facing Sam directly. Sam felt her breathe and winced, that gave Emily an inexplicable pleasure. She pounced. Emily dug her nails into Sam’s underarms, and Damon smirked as she screamed. Sam was able to hold her arms up for a few seconds, but within 15 seconds they came down reflexively. Sam laughed like crazy but Emily wouldn't let up. Sam tried to turn away, but Emily kept at it, and pulled Sam closer. The punishment became a wrestling match soon as the girls came to the ground, with Emily straddling her hips. Emily leaned forward and pinned the poor bartender’s wrists over her head and blew on her underarms, which drove sam into a mad fit of giggles. She begged “HEHEHEHE Stop teasing!” Emily couldn't tell you why she said this, but she shouted “This is club tease!” Before she could sink her nails back into Sam’s smooth hollows, Emily burst out laughing “HAHAHAHAHA!” And lost her grip. Sam scrambled out from under her, and went to Damon, who was holding Emily’s ankle, with his other hand gently stroking her sole. She giggled gently with each stroke of his hands. He patted Sam on the butt and said “That’s enough sweetie. Call me when you get off work. For now I have some soft, pretty feet to break in.” This comment made Emily blush, and wiggle her baby blue toes. As Sam walked out of the room and grabbed her shoes, Emily looked down, anticipating the tickling. The tickling was slow, methodical. He was really tickling her brain more than her sole. Reminding her that he could do what he want, control her body against her will. He could make her laugh whenever he pleased. All it took was a foot and a finger. He had the finger, and the foot may as well have been a plaything of his. It was in his grasp and she wasn’t getting it out. Emily remained on all fours(or threes, not counting the foot that belonged to Damon at the moment), and giggled when Damon wanted her to, otherwise she just accepted the breaks and caught her breath. Sometimes she would look back at Damon, nearly melting him with that forced smile. Other times she looked away and tried to just take it. During a break, Damon rubbed her sole with his palm and commented “I see you took the website’s advice and got a pedicure. How recently?” Emily giggled “A couple hours ago hehehe.” she heard Damon inhale deeply and felt his lips rub along her sole now. His lips tickled ever so slightly. She giggled “hehehehe are you smelling my foot?” She read many of the men here also had foot fetishes, but never expected to find herself here tonight… He replied “You used a vanilla scented lotion. It’s my favorite.” “EEP!” She squealed, something had pinched the ball of her foot, and one look back at Damon licking his lips told the whole story. Could she really drive him so crazy with just her feet? This could add some fun to the tickling...but before she could finish that thought, her mind commanded her to laugh again. Emily fell flat on her belly as she felt a warm, wet sensation streak across her arch. She turned her head to the side to release peals of laughter, and started pounding the carpet with her fist. If Damon’s finger was mean, his tongue was just cruel. Emily was at once suffering and feeling an indescribable ecstasy. All she could do to cope was laugh, and between breaths beg “Hahahaha! Stahahahahap!” Emily got herself a momentary respite from Damon’s tongue, but only because he needed it to taunt her. His fingers returned to gently stroking her arches as he taunted “Oh you don’t want this to stop. If you did you’d pull your foot away. Look.” Emily flipped over and saw that his hand was open, only cupping her heel. He tickled with all his fingers slowly, and she reflexively pulled back a few inches, then paused. Emily hesitated a few seconds, it tickled so bad but there was just nothing like it. Her foot slowly slid back into his grip, and his hand closed around her ankle. She gasped, what had she done? Damon taunted “See? I knew you liked it!” And he tickled her sole all over again with his fingers, making her laugh even louder, wondering why she gave her foot to him. He lifted her foot up to his mouth, but there was resistance from her tight little dress. Damon lowered her foot and said “Emily, your dress is lovely but if you want to have more fun, it may be best to change.” Emily blushed again and said “I don't have a change of clothes.” Damon began stroking her instep and commented “Not to worry. There is a private changing room in here with spare clothes, better for our activities.” Damon helped her up, and opened a wall panel that led to a cozy changing room. Emily removed her dress and placed it on a hanger, then found a pair of little pink shorts and a white tshirt to put on. The shirt was awfully short, and only came down to her ribs, leaving her midriff vulnerable. The shorts were quite short, revealing her long tanned legs. She emerged a little sheepishly, but Damon gushed over her, making her blush for the umpteenth time tonight. She came up to the couch where he sat and requested “Where do you want me?” She felt his eyes combing every inch of exposed skin, searching for a spot to make her squeal. She felt uneasy, but exhilarated. Damon grabbed her by the hand and sat her on the couch next to him. He draped her legs over his...and once she breathed out he lobster clawed her knees. Emily shrieked, breaking down in helpless laughter as she tried to sit up and reach his hands. After a few moments of squeezing her legs and knees, Damon began to gently scribble his fingertips all along her thighs and up towards her hips. Emily’s laughter went up in pitch as Damon reached her hips and pinched, and he licked his lips looking at that bare midriff. Damon gave Emily a break to catch her breath, and breathing heavily she sighed “hehehe that was fun.” Damon had an evil smirk on his face, she asked him “What is that look for?” Damon said “I’m going to have that cute tummy of yours next. But I’m going to give you a choice, my tongue or my hands?” Emily’s eyes bugged out, and she couldn’t possibly choose between tortures for a moment. She thought about her feet, and his tongue was much worse there. She answered “Hands.” Damon smirked, had she chosen wrong? What was he playing at? She didn’t have time to think any further as ten fingers began wiggling along her midriff, and her tummy exploded with ticklish sensations. She let out a loud belly laugh, and cursed as her hands wanted nothing more than to seize his and make it stop. Despite this desperate need, her mind would not allow them, making them twitch up and down her sides in a comical fashion. The game changed utterly when Damon managed to wiggle a finger into her navel, making Emily scream like a banshee before breaking down in frantic laughter. She tried to get him off of there, but her hands were swatted away by his free hand. This was almost as bad as her toes, or that tongue! Maybe she should have let him use his tongue after all… After a minute or so of her navel being explored and prodded, Emily couldn’t take anymore. Her begs became more desperate, and Damon heard it in her voice. She cried loudly “Uncle! Hahahahahaha! Please! Mercy! Hahahaha!” Damon stopped rather quickly, but Emily didn’t manage to stop giggling for another minute. He rubbed her belly during this time, and at last she recovered. She propped herself up on her elbows saying “That was wicked...I’ve never felt anything like it before.” Damon smirked, and said “I bet not.” Before they could say anything else, a blonde woman and a brunette with golden brown hair came into the room dancing with each other, kicking their shoes off as they entered. They plopped on the couch opposite Damon and Emily. The blonde said “I told you if we danced Damon would get us a snack!” Emily covered her face nervously as she blushed like a teenager, and would have curled into a ball had Damon not held her knees. The brunette asked “Who’s the tickle toy?” Damon said evenly “Girls, this is Emily. Emily, that is Shay, and Blair. Two tickle slaves of mine, who need to remember what happens when they don’t use their manners.” Damon continued “Emily is new, and I think she has had enough for one night. Blair, why don’t you tie Shay’s arms over her head?” They got to work, enjoying themselves and clearly under the influence a bit. Emily asked “So what, just like that we’re done?” Damon smirked and said “For tonight, after I do one quick thing. If you want another session I’ll see to it that you can contact me. Sit tight.” Damon got up and tested Shay’s bonds, who was standing on her tiptoes in the middle of the room, suspended from a chain. Damon produced two more cuffs and said “Your turn Blair.” She giggled as she assumed position for her restraints. Once they were restrained Damon instructed Emily “Give me your sole” holding his hand out. She placed an ankle in his hand, and he produced a pen. He slowly and painstakingly wrote something on Emily’s sole, but she couldn’t tell. All she could do was laugh and scream until he finished. It felt like an eternity of that ball point pen stroking her arches, but it was bliss for her. When he finally finished, he pecked each of her soles goodnight and she left for the evening. She inspected her sole before putting her shoes back on, and it read Damon’s number and address.

#tickle club #ticklish #ticklish feet #Tickling #ticklee #tickler #club Ts #ticklish belly #belly tickling #Damon the ler

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nuka-colacherry · 4 years

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Hi!! New to your blog, could you do one with FNV Companions reacting to a Courier 6 who's a pacifist medic? Thank you!

Hello! Welcome to my blog!! These are kind of short because they are just general headcanons. If you want to request a specific situation with Pacifist Medic Six I can write that and it'll probably be longer than this. I'll be happy to do it too! Also, I kind of assumed Six has high speech Anyway, I hope you like these 💖💖

Arcade:

• Arcade really admires Six's medical skills and their ability to solve situations without needing a gun.

- He believes that if New Vegas had more people like Six then it would definitely be a better place for all of the people who reside in it. He appreciates any help Six gives the people of New Vegas too.

• He will most likely attempt to convince Six to join the Followers, or at least help them out. You can never have too many doctors in the wasteland.

• He feels a bit of a bond with Six because of their shared medical background and preference for not just shooting their problems.

Boone:

• Boone also sees the value in medical knowledge and understands how important medics are (especially in war)

• But deep down he would be somewhat resentful about Six being a pacifist. He believes that talking can only do so much and sometimes sees Six's refusal to raise a gun as them actually refusing to take action and letting problems go unsolved.

- If Six ever talked to him about it and explained why they are a pacifist, he would most likely feel better about it.

• Despite his occasional negative feelings, he is still ready to protect Six and fight for them.

Cassidy:

• Cass thinks Six is really smart. Not very many people have what it takes to be a medical professional and she gets how hard it can be.

• She doesn't really understand why Six would choose to be a pacifist, but she is respectful about it.

- But, she seriously wouldn't appreciate Six being upset about any violent actions she takes while they travel together. She's respectful about Six's pacifist stance and expects Six to be respectful about her occasional violence if they travel with her.

• She does wish she was as good as Six when it comes to talking to people. It would have been incredibly useful for business negotiations.

Lily:

• While the other companions think Six is a smart, talented person, Lily believes that Six is a genius.

• She will loudly brag about Six every chance she can, whether Six is around or not. It can be embarrassing sometimes. She does mean well though.

- Seriously, Six could solve 2+2 and Lily will start talking extremely loudly to everyone about how "Smart her little pumpkin is." And makes sure they all know that "They're one of the best doctors in the Mojave desert."

• Since Six is a pacifist she will insist that she travels with them. That way she can protect them herself. It will be hard for Six to convince her that they can handle themselves, especially if they're traveling alone.

Raul:

• Raul is mostly neutral to Six being a medic. Obviously, he can value Six's skill but back in his day there was rarely a shortage a doctors. It makes him somewhat sad that qualified doctors are in such short supply. He does find Six being a pacifist interesting though.

• Rauls opinion on Six being a pacifist changes slightly depending on which ending to his quest they pick.

- For Vaquero Raul, he finds it somewhat ironic that Six convinced him to become a gunslinger again. He finds the concept of a pacifist encouraging him to start fighting again funny. Still, he'd be more than willing to help if Six ever needed backup for something.

- For Retired Raul, he enjoys traveling with Six a little bit more because he doesn't have to worry about Six getting them in some big battle over nothing. He's definitely not a pacifist now, but he's old and tired and appreciates Six's peaceful nature.

Veronica:

• Veronica is used to seeing medics back at the B.O.S bunker, so Six being one isn't really a big deal to her.

• She finds the idea of being a pacifist interesting though. When she first learned about Six being one, she often wondered how traveling as a pacifist is even possible in the wasteland.

• She'll constantly asks Six questions about what they allow and dont allow themselves to do. At least until she understands how Six balances being a pacifist and traveling.

• She enjoys traveling with Six. Mostly because she likes learning about their medical knowledge and how they gained it But she also enjoys pretending to be Six's bodyguard.

- If Six works with the Followers of the Apocalypse she'll ask a lot of questions about how they work too

• Often she will tease Six about their nonviolent ways, but she really does respect Six's dedication to their moral code.

#fallout new vegas #fnv #companions react #arcade gannon #craig boone #raul tejada #This is my first fnv reacts im pretty excited about it haha

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rantsbymiriam · 5 years

Text

Welcome bitches

My blog is back!!! No wait - my REAL blog is back. It's been so long. How i've missed blogging like the good old days. The time before PICTURES & captions took over. I still love pictures, but pictures can be faked. Blogs...well blogs can be faked too but it takes a lot more work to be fake. In this blog, it's gonna be so real, your mama sakit mata baca.

I know I already have a blog (www.miriamomar.com) but that blog is only to talk about work and life related stuff that's super serious and super boring. LETS BE REAL. I ain't gonna be swearing and dissing life crap in between posts about serious work stuff. ONE MUST SEPARATE THE TWO! My blogs are truly a reflection of my psyche. And these 2 blogs will show you two very different sides of me that I have (finally) come to terms with.

On one side, I have this ~high achieving, give talks at conference, scholarship, academic, lecturer, WHAT IS THE MEANING OF LIFE, do the right thing goody two shoes~ side of myself. I call it my "Hermione" side. Which is really a big part of who I am. I can be extremely serious, philosophical and analytical "pseudo intellectual" bla bla bla. Basically, I have this complex about needing to KNOW EVERYTHING or else I would feel insecure and "unsafe". I also have an insatiable curiosity to understand the workings of the world and the true essence of being. Not many can follow my type of conversations. I know this because people start to yawn. My main hobby is to devour books and go around annoying people about what I read and telling them what to do (its true, i must stop I know im sorry everyone)

HOWEVER - this is not that blog. And this is not that side of myself that I would like to share to the world.. This space is for me to talk about THAT OTHER SIDE OF ME. The side that grew up in the depths of the longkangs in Kajang and Bangi. The side that got suspended in school multiple times because I asik dating dengan my boyfriend (now I realize it's just my "co-dependency" lol) the side that tergolek in front of Zouk every Friday night (trauma symptoms lol) the side that your mama don't like and I have to cover-cover so your mama can still let you be friends with me!!! It's OK, don't worry, I won't be a bad influence this time around if I can help it. LOL

Well now, I have obviously mellowed out a lot. Like a LOT A LOT. I don't do crazy shit anymore. I have come to a place in my life that I have accepted my past and all the stuff I used to do (kak long kawasan etc etc) More on that bit later.

To be EXTREMELY honest, my life is not that interesting anymore. This is my first year of business as a full time artist, running Project MIRRO and part-time lecturing. I've been grinding and making ends meet like a robot. I haven't been out and about having a life since I got back from London in late 2017. I hardly get to see my friends or go out and lepak. I haven't dated at all. In fact, I haven't met a new person of the opposite sex who isn't a business acquaintance or gay since 2017. And it's one more month to 2020. I'm not getting any younger either. Im 31 turning 32. and I totally don't have a life, let alone a LOVE LIFE. Oh My God 2.0. (Its okay I have more to say about this part it's not the end of the world)

Today I am supposed to work on a new collection release for Project MIRRO. I will do it right after I write this blog I PROMISE. It's just that, sometimes I have no more fuel to burn to run my life. Working alone in isolation, it gets to you sometimes. As an introvert, ITS GREAT, but it also has its downfall. MOTIVATION. This shit can't appear out of thin air ok. Bukan boleh beli online add to cart "Motivation" I'm literally that girl that has not seen the world and people in over 2 days. This could go up to 2 weeks. I'm just super comfortable on my own in my own world. I love it, I really do. TAPI, I know it's not good for me. I believe if im out and about, mixing and talking with people, I will probably get more income for my business. I know it. I dont know why I don't do it (malas sebenarnya)

I have to say though, I have a pretty comfy studio..I dont feel the need to go out. I am very much comfortable in this space for me to create and be myself. But I also know that perhaps its not the best time for me to be in isolation at such an early phase of my new "art career" whatever that means. Whatever im going through now reminds me of how I was at my first job back in 2012. I am starting all over again, learning all over again with this new life path. Its hard, uncomfortable, and super consuming. And im doing it, LEGIT, all alone. Mana tak rasa cam kepala nak meletup. Obviously kepala I dah meletup a few times. Then I realized its because I don't have a new outlet to release stress. I used to paint to release stress but now it's my job. I need something ELSE.

I've been playing music again, writing songs again (im NOT gonna show it to anyone I would probably die of embarrassment)So it seems like, sejak dua menjak ni, I feel the need to EXPRESS. To write again. To "communicate" without leaving my nest. This is the next best thing la for me since I am such a pemalas to mandi and pakai baju. I've been in the same kaftan for 2 days. WOOOTT. This is the best thing abt working from home. NOBODY CARES WHAT U WEAR!! But don't worry I totally mandi and gosok gigi for you aunties gasping and gossiping about this anak dara tak senonoh. Ishhhh.

Anyway, whatsup people? How are you guys? How is life?????!! I just realized back then when I wrote in this blog (with the same name), I had READERS. I just never really read the comments or participated in my "community" of readers. I should've. I will try do better this time and get conversations going. Reply and all that. PARTICIPATE.

Ok its already 1.15pm now and I really need to get back to work. I have lots to rant about later malam sikit bila dah sunyi sepi and lonely lolol. Thanks for reading. Goodbye for now.

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imaginedanganronpa · 6 years

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Hi can I request an imagine where Rantaro, Chihiro, Kokichi, Nagito and Miu with a s/o that lived in a country that dont snow and how would they react seeing their s/o really excited seeing snow for the first time?

This prompt was so cute!! I used male pronouns for Chihiro, I know some imagines blogs use they/them but I don’t. Enjoy~

Rantaro Amami, Chihiro Fujisaki, Ouma Kokichi, Nagito Komaeda and Miu Iruma With An S/O Seeing Snow For The First Time!

Rantaro Amami

He’s seen snow plenty of times in his life so it nevercrossed his mind that it may be a big deal to you. If he would’ve thought aboutit then he could’ve planned a big, elaborate date night.

Rantaro always says that the best moments in life are the unpredictablesurprises, and right now you couldn’t agree more.

It was currently early January, just after New Years. You’d spent the Holidayswith his family and you two were walking back home to your cozy littleapartment.

It caught you completely off guard.

You knew what snow was but had never seen it. You saw it in the movies but youknew that it was much different in real life.

You two were walking, hand-in-hand, through the streets of Japan in the midstof Winter. No one expected it to snow – none of the weather reports said so.

But it happened out of the blue.

You looked a bit puzzled; “It wasn’t supposed to rain was it?”

Rantaro’s eyes slowly shift upward and a small smile crosses his cheeks. “Idon’t think that’s rain, (Y/N),” he replies.

It was thrilling and you couldn’t possibly contain your excitement. You pullyour hand away from his and cover your mouth, nearly leaping forward. “Is thatsnow? Amami, it’s snowing!”

He giggled a bit and nods his head. “You’ve never seen snow before, (Y/N)?” Heasks calmly. Shaking your head, he bursts into a wide smile.

Immediately, he whips his phone out and starts taking candid pictures of you.You looked so beautiful whilst so entranced in the weather. All you could dowas stand in place in the middle of the sidewalk with people walking aroundyou, wondering why you looked so surprised.

But you didn’t care – this was a magical moment.

Rantaro loved taking photos of you when you least expect it. Times like thiswere the moments where you can’t fake a smile and when you look the happiest.

“This is a moment I’ll remember forever,” you say with a bright expression.Rantaro nods in agreement.

By the time you get home, the ground is covered. Rantaro teaches you how to build a snowman, make snow angels, and you end up staying out until it got dark just enjoying one another’s company.

Chihiro Fujisaki

Your relationship got pretty serious very quickly. Youstarted dating around September, and you were already meeting the family withinthe first three months.

His family liked you so much that they invited you to spend Christmas withthem. Chihiro’s family usually went to a secluded part of Japan for theHolidays since it felt more personal. Of course you go with him.

You loved spending time with him and his family because you felt so welcomed.There wasn’t anything that could make this Holiday Season better.

Exchanging gifts was a blast – you loved seeing his emotional and cheerfulreaction to your gift. In return, Chihiro went all out to get you something he thought wasperfect.

His family also adored decorating so the whole house looked like Christmasexploded within it.

Stockings lined the fireplace, wreaths and tinsel were strewn everywhere, andof course they had a huge tree. Snow-globes also lined the shelf where thestockings hung.

Staring at them intently, Chihiro eyed you from across the room. “What are youlooking at, (Y/N)?”

You felt a bit discouraged, lazily shaking them and watching the fake snowstorm within the glass ball. “Nothing really.”

You went on to explain that you’d never seen snow fall before and that was onyour bucket-list. Chihiro frowned for a moment before stepping towards thewindow. You heard him gasp and felt his hand wrap around yours.

It couldn’t have been more perfect timing. Just as you said that, a flurry ofsnow hit the house.

Chihiro leads you outside and starts jumping for joy. For a moment, you werefloored – completely shocked. You’d always wanted a white Christmas, but you never thought you’d actually get it!

“It’s snowing!” You cheer and your boyfriend continues to laugh and collapse inthe snow. Your eyes are glued to the sky as it relentlessly falls harder as eachminute passes.

You felt your heart race and happy tears start to stream down your cheeks. Thistruly felt like a dream come true. Chihiro had never seen you so happy, and hewrapped his arms around you gleefully. Tears of his own started to form becausehe loved seeing you like this.

This has truly been the best Christmas you’d ever had.

Ouma Kokichi

He knew how badly you wanted to see snow in real lifebecause you told him all the time. In return, Ouma teased you.

“It’s just snow, (Y/N)! It’s nothing special!”

Shaking your head, you insisted that he just doesn’t understand.

For your anniversary, Ouma had taken you on a weekend trip to the city. Herented a romantic hotel with a balcony in the heart of the city and spoiled youfrom sunrise to sundown. You couldn’t see any way this could be more perfect.

It was cold outside so you had to bundle up – that was the only negative sideto his plans.

The night was still young but the sun had finally finished going down. Now, allthe lights were on and the city was lively.

Ouma walks up behind you and wraps his arms around your waist, placing his chinon your shoulder, and gazes up into the darkness with you.

“It’s beautiful,” you say, “You really outdid yourself~ I don’t think thiscould get better.”

He grins and restrains his giggles. “I know one way… you’ll just have to see~”

Confused, you shoot him a glare before feeling a droplet land on your skin. Youturn with irritation since you knew it wasn’t supposed to rain and didn’t want that to ruin anything.

That was until you see white flakes falling from the sky. You gasp and breakfrom his grip. An elated feeling erupts from within you as you watch the snowstart falling at a more rapid pace.

“Kokichi, look!” You point, your eyes glistening with amazement. He’s grinningfrom ear to ear and approaches you once again, sliding his arm around the small of your back. “I know, (Y/N)… I knew it was going to snow. That’s why I took you here –so you could have the perfect view.”

It may not be a big deal in the grand scheme of things, but this was anexperience of a lifetime. A lot of people get to experience snow when they arechildren so they don’t hold value to it like you did.

“I thought you said there was nothing special about snow?”

He shrugs his shoulders. “Well, it’s not but I know how important it is to you,and I remember the first time I saw snow; I wanted you to experience that, too,”Ouma hesitates briefly, “it may not be special, but you are, and so is thismoment.”

Nagito Komaeda

He may not show it all the time, but Nagito is a bigromantic and he loves planning surprises for his significant other.

That’s why he often took you on spontaneous road-trips and adventures, no plans,no hesitations. That was part of the thrill while you’re young.

One evening, he decided that you were going to do something special justbetween the two of you.

Nagito approached you calmly and takes your hand, telling you he had an idea inhis head. He hasn’t taken you on an adventure in quite some time now so youwere due for one.

He drives you out of the city and to a more isolated area with a country feel.It was your escape from the stress of life and school for the weekend.

He’d secretly rented a small cottage in the forest, atop a hill. It was quiteromantic, really.

Since it was so spontaneous and random, you had no time to really plan or pack –that included checking the weather.

You two loved the seclusion even if it was just for a few days. You each neededa break from the real world.

On the morning of the last day you would spend there, Nagito had woken up earlyto prepare breakfast in bed. He brought you all of your favorites as well as ahot chocolate.

You stay snuggled up in bed, cozy and warm. He places a small kiss on your lipsand glances outside.

“(Y/N), have you ever seen snow before?” He asks out of the blue.

Quizzically, you raise a brow and shake your head. It was true, you were from amore humid country that rarely saw snowfall and hadn’t in the entirety of yourstay there. The closest you’ve got to see snow in real life was fake snowmachines in the Mall during December.

You slowly sit up and glance out the window, your jaw dropping. The ground wascovered in a sheet of white and it was continuing to fall even now; it musthave started overnight.

Excitedly, you jump out of bed and wrap a blanket around you, storming outside.Nagito closely follows and calls for you, laughing as you go.

He’d never seen you so excited before. You felt like a kid again, as you felttears start forming on your lashes, and you’re bounding out the door with excitement and wonder. You couldn’t believe it!

It was more beautiful in real life than it was in the movies. Watching you fall so in love with the outdoors and beauty of nature became Nagito’s favorite sight, and he watched you with a small grin on his face.

Nagito quickly gets dressed and follows you closely, forming a snowball andtossing it at you. You spent the rest of the day playing outside in thebeautiful Winter wonderland.

Miu Iruma

It was a cold Winter afternoon in Japan. You two werewalking back to your home from Hope’s Peak, hand-in-hand.

You took the long route back today because you wanted to bask in thebeauty of nature. It was gray and foggy, which was your favorite kind ofweather.

A part of you hoped that it would snow because you’ve never seen it before. Miuknew this, and she couldn’t believe it at first. You were from a distantcountry where it was hot all the time so she couldn’t wrap her head around thedifferences in climate.

Maybe she took snow for granted, though Japan has had a dry season as far assnow goes. It’s been years since the last snowfall, and that was before youmoved here.

As you two made your way through the streets and back roads, something happenedthat you didn’t expect.

You were talking about anything and everything when the first snowflake fell.It touched your skin and sent shivers down your spine.

“What’s wrong?” Miu asked, concerned. You shrugged your shoulders and glancedupwards. What you saw caused you to stop dead in your tracks.

Miu gasped as well, sharing the beautiful moment with you. Neither of you hadchecked the forecast all day. Though, she ruined the moment; “I’m not fuckin’dressed for snow!”

She pauses and stops complaining when she sees the giant smile on your face andcan’t help but to break out into her own. Your eyes were sparking with joy and pure excitement and your inner childlike essence came out to play.

Needless to say, your walk home got sidetracked.

You two spent plenty of time admiring the snow. Miu found a nearby bench whereyou perched yourselves. You sat in complete silence, grinning from ear-to-earthe whole time.

“It’s even more beautiful than I ever could have imagined…” you trail off andhold your trembling palms out for snow to fall on your skin. It melts almostimmediately which bums you out a little.

“Almost as beautiful as you.”

You two sit there long enough for the ground and bare trees to be coated inwhite. Miu was shaking but it was so worth it to see your reaction – she’d doanything to make you this happy.

So, she silently admired your beauty while you were fascinated with the sky.She even took the time to write out “I ♡ (Y/N)” in thesnow, which made you giggle.

- Mod Rantaro

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grandzealot · 5 years

Text

Shipping info meme.

Answer the following for your muse(s) so people know how shipping works on your blog.

WHAT IS YOUR OTP FOR YOUR CHARACTER ?

attirichter. thats w my best friends oc. we usually rp on discord and in games so u dont usually see much of our millions of verses here aside from aesthetics and art lol [ unless i badger him into sending a meme ]

WHAT ARE YOU WILLING TO WRITE WHEN IT COMES TO SHIPPING ?

...a lot lmao. but on tumblr i try to keep things appropriate for the general audience - usually no explicitly written nsfw or super dark themes

but in general im happy exploring the more extreme things in private with my best friend ( and have other good friends i could write more with too if it were a desire ) so what im willing to write isnt necessarily what im here for or interested in writing with new friends. i usu wont write much w someone at all if they seem to want to beeline for extreme/heavy topics wo us really knowing each other

theres also probably not a lot of room for any new soulfully deep romance bc i feel that so much with my otp for richter. so im generally just more interested in seeing what happens between personalities. smaller romances. superficial relationships. experimental ships. maybe some angst or soft imbalance in there but nothing emotionally demanding lmao.

HOW LARGE DOES AN AGE GAP HAVE TO BE TO MAKE IT UNCOMFORTABLE ?

not very lmao. in his mainverse i usu dont ship him w anyone below thirty. but even if someones within his age range, if i met their character in a different verse or fandom ( or when i was rping a different character ) and associate them with being younger, i sometimes still cant stop thinking of them as a younger character and it squicks me a bit. a big part of that is discomfort of romanticizing ‘ older men ’ in particular so even if there was no significant age gap but the character comes off as teenagery or the relationship seems to have that kind of dynamic im also not into it

i do make exceptions when im rly comfortable with friends and might have developed it in a different light and we switch it for new verses. and i think in my head richters always older so when i rp him in younger verses im less picky about the upper age limit of his partners, depending [ but only like... by a lil percentage ]

oh and also for like synths or vampires or sosus or other odd age situations i tend to go by a mix of how old they look / act

ARE YOU SELECTIVE WHEN SHIPPING ?

sorta. im selective about actually having threads for things but generally ill throw art out and talk possibilities without needing much chemistry or interaction. like im open with the hypotheticals, not so much with the actual plotting and rping

so chemistry is a requirement before i go so far as having threads but answering little memes or anything visual related is more like... feeling out the possibility for chemistry for me

HOW FAR DO STEAMY MOMENTS HAVE TO GO BEFORE THEY’RE CONSIDERED ��NSFW ?

not very. i usually fade to black if theyre going to do something sexual. i do have a nsfw blog that i used to move some threads over which maybe ill use again— but even so i still dont get that verbally explicit on that blog. maybe that might change since i cant rly put art on it anymore lmao

WHO ARE OTHER CHARACTERS YOU SHIP YOUR CHARACTER WITH ?

lots? ive listed ships here before ( a-z eg: gwyneth and richter, jean and richter, marcie and richter, etc ) but i also lightly ship him w other canons in other games. ive had this blog for a few years and theres been a lot that fell away as time passed

DOES ONE HAVE TO ASK TO SHIP WITH YOU ?

maybe. i dont mind their character having one sided feelings / thoughts. ( unless theyre way young. ) and i do often feel like richter and other characters could be interesting pairings but im not always inclined to say anything ( usu just bc im slow and distracted lmao. )

but as far as sending memes in u usu dont have to ask. usually ill try to bend the memes meaning to answer in a nonshippy way if a ship seems impossible

ALSO: richter is an in game npc so you are 100% welcome to canonize a ship w him for ur character, just dont expect my portrayal of richter to be that richter

HOW OFTEN DO YOU LIKE TO SHIP ?

ummmm. im not rly here for shipping specifically but often ship threads are the easiest to reply to lmao. i do get worn out by memes tho so sometimes ill do a bunch then take a long break before i get to any more. like i run out of shipping energy if im not working w anything established

ARE YOU SHIP OBSESSED OR SHIP MORE - OR - LESS ?

less if i have to choose but maybe low middleground in actuality ?

ARE YOU MULTI-SHIP ?

this blog is c:

WHAT IS / ARE YOUR FAVOURITE SHIPS IN YOUR FANDOM(S) ?

.............idk ive generally been more obsessed with singular characters than ships theyre in. i like diopucci for jjba but i dont rly have any for others aside from ‘ all the ships w my fave characters in them ’ lmao

HOW DOES ONE SHIP WITH YOU ?

its probably best to send in an ooc ship related meme or an art related one and then talk about it after?

youre always welcome to just bring it up with me but i understand that people are shy so a more indirect way would be to send in a related meme and then comment with your thoughts after lol

TAGGED BY : [ stolen from @shellheadtm ] TAGGING : [ anyone who wants to do it c: ]

#long post #zaswords #about shipping

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thedogsled · 6 years

Text

Hi anonymous gencest person in my inbox! First of all, I wanted to reply to you thoroughly, I just happened to not be online at the time that you sent your first message, and as a result it’s taken a little time to write this reply. You seem to be really hurt by this, but the tone of your message is understanding and kind, and you deserve to be spoken to with the same respect that you did in your messages to me. I’ve put your message under the cut to protect you a little bit (I hope that you find it).

For the folks on my dash, please don’t think this is me jumping back into it. Mostly that’s because, as you mentioned in your message, I feel like everything has gotten very out of hand. The tone of the original conversation changed underneath me, because while my issues were only with tagging, I feel like some people perceived it to be something else. I’d like to clear that up. Ad hominem attacks are always unnecessary, and they derail reasonable conversation. I also think that a lot of this jumped off the back of already raised tensions and preconceptions, and the divisions in fandom are wholly responsible for that. So that’s mostly why I haven’t mentioned it on my blog since the scuffle happened, and why I’m happier putting the rest of this under a cut. I don’t agree with what this turned into (kink shaming, and making genfic people into some sort of commodity to be shot across the battlefield like human cannons), and it’s left a bad taste in my mouth how the whole thing was handled, much as it seems to have done with anonymous.

This post is about that.

Anonymous said:The gencest wank is reaching new levels. Now people on twitter are claiming that participants "support child abuse" (which child?) and are "grooming" other people. There is disagreeing with the ambiguity the term gencest imply and there is straight up calling content creators who just want to write on their favorite characters predators. Now I feel even worse about writing Winchester Gen fic and I'm not even a participant! Are yall even going to care about that?

Anonymous said:(same g*ncest wank anon) Look, nevermind. I dont really expect anything. I was hurt by both sides when I'm at a low point and just wanted to write some S&D gen fic to cheer me up. I came to vent but it wasn't called for. I'm sorry. Have a nice day.

I’m going to start right back at the beginning. This wank started on Twitter, and it’s still continuing over there. I think a lot of the reason why things are never let go of on Twitter is because the format has a toppling effect. With things only loosely dated, and Twitter sending you notifications for things you might have been interested in, it tends to keep fires burning a lot longer. The viciousness of the conversations is one of the reasons why I’m not a very big presence of Twitter myself, not to mention block and let block isn’t considered to be a social default. People just engage with material no matter the consequences, forgetting that other people on the internet are living breathing emoting human beings.

Part of it, too, is Supernatural fandom’s divisions in general. If you look just at the wank that crossed my dash just in the last week - one week! - there’s the gencest wank, wank from old meta writers about new meta writers, wank at people who wish Cas had been in this episode, wank about Danneel--it never ends. And instead of those wanks being considered as separate incidents, they instead build one on top of another, so people come into conversations with a lot of baggage, which they aim at each other in quickfire succession.

It’s not okay. That’s part of the reason why I try and avoid engaging in ‘antis do this, antis do that’ drama, fandom dividing into sides etc. because it’s draining, it’s tiring, and it stops you from doing things you want to be doing. Trust me, I know all about the pain of just wanting to write/draw/reblog so and so, and feeling like you can’t because the fandom is a trash heap. Other multishippers feel the same way, like they can’t reblog content from certain bloggers because it’s only going to cause drama. I haven’t written or drawn anything but Destiel (apart from that one Sabriel fic for the RB last year) since I started this blog, despite being a multishipper at heart myself, because I don’t feel like that content is welcome or will be engaged with.

This fandom cultivates that kind of unwelcomeness, in my opinion, to almost everyone in it. It also prevents people from blogging on their own blog, because again people feel they need to seek out and engage with content (even untagged content) that they disagree with, or they’re not interested with, instead of just blocking it. I like talking about ships, and I like discussing how problematic some of them are. I like discussing dark fic. I like discussing tagging practices, and how to keep people safe from being triggered in a fandom which is full of people carrying their traumas with them. While I like engaging with the dark potential of characters, I do my best not to do so at the expense or harm of others. All of those things lead to conflict, and conflict I avoid so much I don’t end up using my blog as I want to. For example, just last year I got involved in a Megstiel conversation which ended in people saying rude things about me and wearing it as a badge of honor that I blocked them. I like Megstiel. I have RPed it and I like the potential the two characters have with each other. It’s not my OTP, and I’m not a relentless wave of positivity about it, but that’s okay. That’s my opinion, and not an opinion I should have to defend, and it’s okay to block people rather than argue needlessly and spread ill feeling around even more.

Staying out of other people’s opinions didn’t happen, this time. Blocking didn’t happen (the gencest mod did use her block later on, which I wholly support, when I was still following the drama, but the block wasn’t respected. When people log out to get around blocks, it isn’t respectful, and it’s part of what fans the drama higher). Not to mention all this drama came in at peak level because all this fandom is is Us Vs. Them until everyone is in a frenzied final battle situation during every incident. Sometimes the drama is being exacerbated and misrepresented, and there are absolutely trolls trying to stir the other thing to being much worse than it is “for fun”. Fandomwank and the anon comms on Dreamwidth (formerly LJ) and to a certain extent Reddit, love making Tumblr and Twitter fans go at each other, and even if we’re pretty shitty with each other already, that’s being driven and exacerbated constantly by forces unseen.

(Note: People may accuse me of making this up, I suppose, but we’re a powderkeg and people love to start fires. The fake Cas stan on Twitter from this summer is a GREAT example of this, they had Misha’s name in their URL and dropped shit on the writers and cast for a long time just to make people froth at the mouth “How could they say that to Jared” etc. I think people really underestimate how much rubberneckers love drama, and if there isn’t any they will happily start it. That said, a fair amount of drama starts organically, and I’ll concede as much, but if you think cackling supervillains are crazytalk let me introduce you to MS Scribe...)

Rambling about drama aside, because I’m quite passionate about how stupid this fandom gets, I want to get back to your ask. I haven��t touched your actual comments yet, and that does a disservice to them because this drama has genuinely hurt you. Fandom should know that. Their words hurt real people. The bickering hurts real people. It drives people away. It drives people I know away, and it’s hurting this anon as well. It’s like anon says: are we going to care about that? Because we should. We should be making this fandom a better place. We should be mending bridges, not distancing people and telling them their pain doesn’t matter. It matters. At least it matters to me. I want you to know that, anon.

That it matters, that’s why I got so passionate about the tagging issue. We should care for everyone’s comfort in this fandom, and that matters to me too. We shouldn’t shout names at each other. And maybe if people hadn’t been at a default level of at each other’s throats, we could have had a conversation about this. I honestly believe the gencest mod came at this from a reasonable position originally, with no ill intent. I may not have made that clear in my previous posts, but I was determined to give them the benefit of the doubt. I don’t think their definition was even that wrong, given that they weren’t trying to redefine the brodependency, imo. My issues only came from a need for fandom itself to invoke the terms Wincest and incest where necessary to protect the people who seek protection from those terms, who are harmed by it, and blacklist it. So that their blacklists work, and continue to protect them. That’s okay, I think, to ask for that, not at the exclusion of the gencest tag, but alongside it where it’s necessary. Incest isn’t what the exchange is about, as I understand it, but obviously the inclusion of ‘wincest’ in the portmanteau does make the real intent cloudy, and excludes people who might otherwise have been interested in it. You mentioned in your ask that the term was ambiguous, and that was my only issue with it, not whatever it’s gotten turned into, especially if that negativity is explicitly anti-Wincest. If the mod wants to use a term that invokes incest for her non romantic gen fest, then that’s the mod’s prerogative. Re. tagging, I think it matters, but tagging is different to the challenge. I’ve tried to be clear on the difference I feel about it since the beginning.

I think that when you are inside the bubble of a ship, it becomes difficult to see the issues with that ship. Let’s take it outside of the fandom and look at Buffy, for example. The fair and honest truth is that Spuffy is an abusive ship. It was literally abusive, then framed as love, Joss Whedon’s gross projection of being able to creepily stalk women and do whatever he wants to them because ~love~ and the woman will ultimately forgive him for being a ruthless monster and they’ll get together. (coughMarvelcough). It’s my OTP for Buffy, but it is what it is. In SPN fandom, Wincest has a similar problem, because it’s been around right since the beginning of the show, and there’s some people I feel who have forgotten that it’s an incest ship, you know, and forget that other people don’t say “It’s just incest” in real life. Only on the internet. (The response to poor Jason Fisher’s defense of Superwiki from the GA made that disconnect really clear to me. The GA literally have no idea why this show would defend incest, because how we speak about incest within fandom is wholly different to how it’s discussed in the real world.)

That said, boy oh boy. I’m about to open a whole other can of worms here.

Wincest folks get constantly attacked. Like I said, it’s an incest ship, and between the GA and people who are triggered by it and purity culture, you’ve got these people who just wanna write their ship and they’re constantly on the toe of everyone’s boot getting a right kicking. I’m not going to argue about the moral rights and wrongs of writing incest, because it’s none of anyone’s business. Writing incest isn’t a gateway drug to performing it any more than if you write stories about murder that’s what you’re setting up to do next yourself. No matter why someone writes it, generally speaking that’s between them and their catharsis. People get uppity about other people’s ships and kinks when they should stay in their own lanes, really.

Tagging is the key to that. Acknowledging your ship has issues and then making sure you tag those issues responsibly. That’s important. It protects us. It protects me when I write darkfic. It protects people who write darkfic because they’re survivors, and helps people to deal with those things when it’s tagged properly, when it’s given the name of what it is, rather than sanitized. That’s my issue with gencest as a tag (not as a fest), because it felt like sanitized incest. You need to call that what it is. You need to identify it. Your older brother climbing into bed with you naked and without permission isn’t gen. To some people within the ship, the identification of it is half the battle. When we tag considerately, we are being kind to people we don’t know, as well as protecting ourselves. Tags make fandom better and safer.

With the way things have unrolled, it’s made it so engaging in either fest seems like picking sides. That’s not okay. That’s not just this battle; this is just another casualty of the whole ship war, something which has sucked the fun out of many things people enjoy doing, and driven many many people out of fandom. I’m sorry that this one hit when you were already feeling so low, not least because we all deserve to have nice things. Fandom is supposed to be the place to go to when life is shitty, to give you fun and relief. It’s not meant to feel like getting sent back to the trenches. Not for anyone.

We need to mend our bridges. We need to keep making our content, and stop seeing it as ride or die. We need to keep our nasty opinions to our own blogs and stop calling each other names when we don’t agree. We need to stop seeing blocking as unreasonable behavior and not proper curation. We need to stop raiding ship tags for wank, or dumping our crap on other ship’s tags in the first place. We need to give more people the benefit of the doubt, and engage on conversational levels about out fandom and our ships. We need to call out issues from within our own fandom, so when drama is getting splashed around we need to say “hey, they have a bit of a point, here, maybe we can talk reasonably about it”. We need to stop shadowboxing with an enemy we think is the boogeyman, when in reality we’re punching real people in the face. We need to tag proactively, and kindly, and keep our fandom corners clean so that when people come to visit we can say “hey, we take our tagging really seriously, you can’t call us out on it.” That’s the fandom I want to be a part of.

Most of all we need to be kind to each other. Be better. For this anon and for everyone else who’s ever been hurt by fandom. Enough shittiness is enough.

To anon. I’m sorry you’re hurting. It fucking sucks, and I’m so sorry things got driven to the point they have now. I’m sorry you got stuck in the middle of it. That said, I want you to write. I want to read your content. Shippy or not, I love the relationship that Sam and Dean have, and seeing all parts of it, fluffy and dark and codependent and cute and playful and snarky. I love G rated fic as much as I love dark NC-17 fic, and I don’t care for people who gen shame, like fic isn’t interesting if it doesn’t have sex in it. Screw that noise. I hope you write. I want you to write. As part of a challenge or not. I hope you will. Everyone I’ve spoken to about this tells me they want more gen S&D content.

You, and anyone else, are welcome to send me any content you want, any time you like. I don’t reblog NC-17 content that isn’t under a cut, or content that attacks other fans, but you can send me any ship, anytime - anyone who loves any ship in this crazy fandom, regardless of what circle of affiliation you usually sit with - and I’ll share your content. With the right tags, of course! We don’t have to be this dysfunctional with each other. We can cooperate and coexist.

To anon: write it. Write it just for you. Write it to make yourself feel better, and write it to stick it in the eye of everyone who’s made you feel bad about it. When you feel powerless, doing it anyway is the power that you have, and you don’t need anyone to give it to you; it’s yours entirely.

I’m sorry this took me so long to post back to you. As you can see I wrote a little more than I initially expected to, and it took a while. If it makes you feel even a little bit better to read it, then it was worth it.

Thanks so much for your ask, for your patience, and for your respect. I hope next time you want to drop me an ask, it’s in happier times.

#dogsled replies #wank for ts #incest mention for ts #this is a multiship blog #ship and let ship #purity culture can eat my whole entire ass #but tagging is important

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onecancelledstamp · 6 years

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dating ~ andrew siwicki ~

hi, sorry im the most inactive blog ever :)

sorry i haven’t actually Written™ anything,,, i spend a lot of my time writing an ongoing story for the tv show the 100 (it’s on quotev, here’s the link!! check it out if you want??), so i dont have a lot of time to come up/plan long things

anyways,, i am kinda new to the shane dawson squad, so this isn’t gonna be very detailed lol sorry :( jk this ended up being way longer than i anticipated

author: onecancelledstamp

sorry kind of hate how indented bullet points don’t show up on the phone? that’s Dumb™ :(

also. kind of making these up as i go, so there nowhere near as elegant in terms of writing and word choice as my previous one w/ bellamy blake. that was one that i had in my notes for a long time, but im really just making these as i go. sorry, enough rambling.

dating ~ andrew siwicki ~

you’d meet through shane and garrett because they’re just Like That™, and it would kind of be like that blind date shane set up w/ megan... but, like, better? (tea lol)

you’d be chilling around at your house one day when you just get this long-winded email from shane-- whose channel you adore-- saying that they have a brilliant idea and your potential soulmate

you accepted within an instant. relationships never seemed to work out for you, but your gut told you that this might be the right moment and person

also, a big part of you kind of hoped that things would work out really well with andrew & it wouldn’t just be for the youtube video. you really liked him and had always been hosting a small internet crush

you have a youtube channel, too, which is how everyone had found out about you. it would be pretty lowkey, but you had a lot of fun with it. probably the same style of video shane makes with his friends, but you can’t compete with shane’s work obviously

you do put a lot of work into your editing, however, and andrew can see that. he respects it, mainly because he is well aware of the process of it and how much hard work is required. it would probably be one of the first things you bond over.

you’re both always teaching each other something with editing or recording. you both are very skilled and telling each other tips and tricks

most of the videos on your youtube channel include all these cute days between the two of you-- almost vlog style--, yet all still original and extraordinary content. you guys are just so passionate about what you do & can’t wait for what the future has in store for the both of you, both in your careers and personal lives

garrett, shane, and ryland would honestly be your number one shippers and they’re constantly asking about the relationship and how it’s going. they’d literally never leave you alone about it

they’d probably also tease you and freak out each time you said something nice about him. or if your face lit up when you were mentioning him. or how you’d blush every time his name was brought up. tiny things like that. they’d scream, prompting you to blush even more and hid behind the sleeves of your sweater

although the blind date video seemed like one long cosmic joke, you actually had a really good time. you could tell he was nervous, obviously, but so were you. his nerves were quite cute, however. and you got to see a genuine, down-to-earth part of him that was very intriguing

he drove you home after the video, and you guys talked about anything that came to mind. conversation was just so easy. when he walked up to your doorstep, he seemed genuinely surprised when you asked if he was willing to go on a second date.

of course he was, but-- for whatever reason-- he thought that his feelings were unrequited (which was not true).

he didn’t kiss you at the doorstep after the first blind date, but the both of you felt that-- the moment after you walked inside-- you both had missed an opportunity, thus making you very excited for the dates to come

there’s going to be laughing. lots and lots of laughing.

all for different reasons, too. sometimes it could just be because he’s a generally nervous person, but he also finds everything you say to be hilarious & will lose his composure every single time

his laugh is literally the most contagious thing ever and you can’t help but smile and giggle along

he’s one of the most supportive people you know, truthfully. he’s such a great listener, too. he really cares about what you have to say and is always willing to help you out with the slightest of problems (maybe after a couple of jokes, though)

whenever you’re with the squad and recording a video, you and andrew are always behind the camera snickering to each other & the audience finds it to be the cutest thing

fans would make some of those compilations of all the best laughing/cute moments.... so pure

the squad was very welcoming & encouraged you to be in videos and hang out with them, and they became some of your closest friends. there was no pettiness, no drama, nothing. nothing like previous friendships. they wanted you to do great things. these people were genuine friends & the audience seemed to be very keen on you and your dynamic with the group

you also grow to love the rest of the squad as well. you share a special connection with all of them. shane, garrett, morgan, ryland,,,,, valid friends.

he continuously gets flustered each time he picks you up for a date because he finds you so beautiful,,, can literally never get rid of that giddy feeling because he’s just so in love with you

you once ask him if he’s going to do that every single time,,,, the answer is yes. every. single. time.

you two would probably send each other little snippets of edited clips or show each other a piece of a video that you’re struggling on and ask for each other’s creative expertise because you both have very unique visions. you both value the other’s opinion & sometimes it’s just fun to giggle over a funny part of a video once in a while

the two of you would never fight. even if you did, it was over something stupid and wouldn’t last that long. you really can’t stay mad at each other for more than twenty minutes without caving in and making up

lowkey......... kinda maybe the jealous type??? only a little bit. a valid bit,,,, like,, real cute. still undecided. anyways sorry moving on

you’d probably hang out all the time and just have editing parties. just like laying in the bed together and working on the latest project. once in a while, it would get too stressful and overwhelming and you guys would leave the house to go do something stupid

you guys both get really flustered and awkward in public for no reason, but you always find some stupid way to relieve all the stress... being in each other’s presence is just calming and a natural soother

you’re constantly asking him to show off some of his talents: piano, rapping, and so many more that he keeps Hidden™ (but shouldn’t) he’s so talented and you constantly tell him that

he’ll probably just get really red and blush in response

the two of you are honestly and truly best friends. the bond that you two share is just so indescribable and incomparable to anything/anyone else. you guys understand each other in such a sincere and genuine way & both of you feel so lucky to have each other

honestly,,,,, soulmates?????

so soft,,, so cuddly,,, so valid. just imagine that! ugh! cute!!! cuddling in bed after a long day of following shane around to record a video and finally getting to settle in bed together and just relax. both fond of holding hands, which is quite common between the two of you, actually. it seems as if you never let each other go. (he also likes to rub his thumb over your knuckles or whatever, it’s just very calming)

you guys cuddle a lot, actually, and shane is always so excited to get it on camera. he really wants the best for both of you and it seems like this is It™

the whole relationship would just be so gentle and pure,,, and almost a little bit clumsy? if that makes any sense. neither of you know what you’re doing, but you make it work. you’re both very cheesy, but you find it ridiculously romantic.

just saying,,, you and garrett and andrew would be like a Power Squad™ with so much manic energy that you’re unstoppable

that’s all i got for now, but it is also midnight on a school night (not like that’s gonna stop me) so. yeah. i might edit this later and add more?? but this ended up way longer than expected so idk

#andrew siwicki #shane dawson #i dont know what this is #this is kinda bad #lol sorry #what a cutie tho #the100 #only tagged that because i linked the fic #so sorry #writing #lol #dating andrew siwicki

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godgiftcd-blog · 7 years

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welps! s’been a great run, you guys. had its up and downs, definitely, but it’s 2018 now, and we’ve all grown a little - so some changes are gonna be implanted cause i feel like i need ‘em, you know?

threads

almost all threads will be dropped. exclusions are given to threads that were plotted or discussed beforehand, and interactions that were made due to strong chemistry between muns.

if you, by any chance, still want to continue an unplotted thread or wants some clarification regarding our interaction’s statuses, please feel free to approach me personally about it. i’m super chill at continuing anything if you’re equally invested in it.

from here on out, i’ll probably prioritise plotted threads - though this may change in accordance to my activity.

a warning: i’m also slow, but i generally do respect threads that i know i’ve invested building a plot around with my rp partner so while i may not be quick, sooner or later, i do reply. with this, i do encourage plotting for i, at least, am confident enough to say that i will try my hardest to be committed to whatever we may have / or will have going on.

mains and exclusives

gonna be dropping them once my one-year anniversary mark arrives should none of my former mains and/or exclusives return nor contact me by then.

new mains / exclusives are welcomed to be discussed as long as it follows the rules i’ve set up over here.

following / interacting

i’ll unfollow if i see that you’re not interested to reach out or interact with me after a month. i understand some people follow for the sake of just discovering cracks or enjoying the aesthetics, which are fine cause i do that sometimes too, but i do quite enjoy writing jean - and if you aren’t looking for developing our muses together, i’m afraid it may not work between us. this is, in no way, a direct lash against how you portray your character because to each their own, you know?

feel free to contact me if this isn’t your intention e.g. you were trying to establish an interaction with me but have forgotten etc. i’m generally lax as long as the interest to write is present.

also idc if you’re from snk fandom - i will unfollow if there is lack of interest for interactions.

in conclusion, the activity of this blog will most likely won’t change, but - i do really love writing jean. for a while now, i’ve been struggling with establishing proper interactions because there’s been nothing on my dashboard that has motivate me to develop him. i want to change that, though.

if you’re reading till to this particular sentence, please do know that i am super interested to let jean grow with your muse. i love him - i love his complexity and his thoughts and how he changed and the potential he carries within himself - and if you love your muse the same? then hell yeah, let’s write more things together. let them be friends, enemies, lovers. lets discuss AUs and headcanons and talk about meta’s.

i dont care as long as i know you’re interested to write with me too.

so yeah, thanks for reading and if you’re up for it, i’m looking forward to being friends with you!

#PSA.#[fat amy voice] whoomp there it is #sorry guys ive been feeling stagnant but uhhh recently i talked to jules #and i discover that i rlly still do love jean #and if the rp environment is what stops me #then it doesnt have to be u know?#i can unfollow ; i can find new partners ; i can do it #i cant wait for people to .... like me or whatever u know?#but YO i enjoyed my time here #its been super fun #but im REALLY looking forward to a more brighter future for jean tbh :)))

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incendavery · 7 years

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gosh, thank you! that is so sweet??? I hope you (and any other of my followers who celebrate!) have/had a very happy Eid!💖 💕

on another note, I’ve finally gotten around to cleaning out my askbox! under the cut is almost every ask I’ve gotten that i haven’t answered in the past.... I’m not sure. it’s been a WHILE though.

as a warning, there’s all sorts of stuff, and it’s all untagged! also also, if you sent one of these asks and want me to remove it, just let me know!

yes!! @fuckaspunk IS super sweet and talented and i AM very lucky to have them! and I’ve heard from reliable sources that the feeling is mutual~~💕

i’m glad my comics make you feel less alone; that’s a rough situation you’re in. i really hope you find yourself in a better environment soon!

thank you!!!💕

thank you for understanding! and yes, aidan is a huge help to me??? even when they’re not answering asks, they’re always supporting me in some way, whether that’s making sure I’ve eaten enough, or talking me through my anxiety, or all the other ways they’re there for me every single day💕💕

ok, my tips are!!:

draw as much as possible! even if it’s just lines and shapes with no meaning, you’re still developing your hand/eye skills

BUT: dont draw if you’re not feeling it! if you’re feeling fried, it’s better to take a break. go on a walk to somewhere scenic, read your favorite book, listen to some new music, hang out with friends, or just take a nap! rest up and find some inspiration! you can come back to your sketchbook when you feel energized again

draw stuff that you like! you’ll improve way faster if you’re passionate about what you’re doing

look at art you like with a critical eye. try to examine the different components and figure out what you think works or doesn’t work. try incorporation those components into your own work

read a lot of tutorials and other resources, but take what they say with a grain of salt

ultimately, remember that the only real rule to drawing is that doing it should make you happy

good luck!! i do my best not to pick, but it’s a real struggle; i have lots of scars from it too. ;v; im cheering for you!!!

ALWAYS!!!! if you do, please show me!! my notifications get real busy, but anyone is welcome to IM me any time!

thank you! i actually get very worried about my style; i tend to admire artists with complex linework and delicate shading, so i often feel my style is far to simple! so thank you!!

that is really high praise????? gosh??!?!?!? best of luck with the next three years; i hope you grow to be someone you like even better than me!

thank you!!

peanut time is the best!! i haven’t gotten to do a proper one in a while though ;-; i’ve mostly been feeding the crows on my way back home from night shifts, when i give them the reject eggs from the continental breakfast.

wow, neat!! chickens are so wonderful; i cont wait until i can have some of my own :>

dont be nervous! i know i can be hard to get ahold of over the internet (bc i get overwhelmed easily) and hard to talk with irl (bc i get so nervous and interacting w ppl doesn’t come naturally to me AT ALL) but honestly i?? love making new friends??!

thank you!!? im thankful every day that someone as radient as aidan is in my life for the long haul

thank you!!!!!!!💕

i completely feel that? its ok to hit rough patches! just do your best!!

i dont remember what i felt bad about but THANK YOU💕💕

honestly its done me worlds of good to share my art?? hearing people talk about how they go through all the same shit i do makes me feel so much less alone, especially on the toughest days! so i guess thank you, and thank you?

youre welcome!!!! :>

huh!! i dont know much about shoegaze (other than thinking abt that post abt the guy who pronounced it like fugazi I THINK ABT THAT EVERY TIME) but thats real neat!! im glad youve found something that works for you!!

hey, neat middle name! and youre very welcome; i hope things have been looking up for you since you sent this?💕

i dont remember when this was from but im currently doing really well with my meds!! i switched to a combination of lexapro in the morning and benadryl in the evening, and its been working super well!✨

thank you??!! ;o; i would love to see all your favorite birds!!

hey, right back atcha!!!

ty!!!

hey. thank YOU

you’re absolutely not bothering me! thank you so much!!

!!!!!!!!!!

hey, nice! im glad you like both me and my music!

gosh thanks?!?!

she is the most beautiful and handsome!!!!!!!!!!!! i love her! thank you from both of us!!!!

aw, gosh! im sure i like you too!!

this was from.... A WHILE AGO.... but youre welcome?? i just wish i could have done more

hey, thank you so much!!!!!

thank YOU and a very very belated merry christmas!!!

that does make sense!! reconciling friendships and crushes is tricky business. the best i can say to you is to be as honest and open with each other as you can

i dont personally get those, but ive heard of people experiencing them as a sideeffect when coming off or switching meds

i think these two are part of the same message? but oh man yeah that sucks when ppl are misgendering you AND hitting on you at the same time. on a different note, ive never heard of using a corset to stim before! neat!

i mean, 1. depression doesn’t care if you have a “””good””” reason and 2. ive literally never met anyone w depression (including myself) who thinks that they do have a “””good””” reason for having it. thats the insidious part of depression, is that it makes you think that theres nothing wrong and that its all just you not measuring up in some way

so i guess that would make you.... someone with depression?

real BAD

💕 💖 💞 💓 💗

not yet haha THANK YOU

hey, im glad you like it!! since this blog has gotten so big, its kinda my happy place to be? (for anyone wondering, my reblog blog/personal is @spinels!

that IS a fun fact!! thank you!

it’s absolutely ok! i get a little bitter when people take my work WAY out of context (for example, straight people removing the caption that says “im just really gay” before tagging their bf/gf) but i am 100% ok and happy with people relating to my work in a different way than i intended (ex: a comic i made about being ashamed of my derma getting reblogged by someone struggling to be ok w their visible burn scars)

hoo gosh, thank you!!

glad to have you here!! im glad people can relate to some of the weirdly specific shit i write about tbh???

i’m sorry its taken so long for me to get back to you; that a terrible situation

if you have a teacher you trust, i would absolutely bring it up to them. that is 100% not an ok thing for those kids to be doing. at all.

im glad you at least have your friends that support you!

:0 WAIT is this someone i know through ucsc?? :0 :0 :0

aaaa thank you! that is high praise ;v;

i have no words; this is such a touching message. thank you so much ;v;

this is belated but!! the main creative community i can recommend is kzsc, the radio station! i had a real cool time there, and its a great way to make friends and connect with ppl of all sorts! :0

yeah, its totally normal! ive had roommates ive been super tight with, and roommates who i barely ever hung around with. its natural! i doubt you’ll finish college w/o finding a roomie that you get ~The Roomie Experience~ with though, even if its like a housemate or s/t!! ;0

i’ve never been told that, actually! neat!! (and wow?? i cant believe i inspire ppl.... wow......... what a concept tbh??)

oh yikes... i do hope youre feeling better :( im glad my comics can help a little bit at least!

💕 💖 💞 💓 💗!!!

HUGS

i dont remember what this was in reference to, but good to know?

also good to know!?

i think the crows and jays do! i dunno about the squirrels and other birds. and thank you!!

the youth gang..... i love it..... how good???!

i wrote about getting yuri right here! he’s a southern alligator lizard and i love him to bits.

heres a pic of the Long Boy doin his thing:

hey neat! i’m glad youve chosen a lame you can be proud of!!💖

ive never heard of that!! wow

what play is this?? :0 :0 :0 im so curious now!!

oh SHUCKS...,,,,,,,,,, ;v;

hahahaha omg thank u

i dont actually have any more of them interacting, unfortunately! the owl isnt one specific person, like a lot of my characters are meant to represent. the owl more represents as a whole all the people i run into in my life that i am very very gay for.

thank you!!!

youre very welcome! im glad you feel better!!!!

aaa gosh thank you!!!

hhhhfgh ive gotten less of it recently BUT YEAH that was bad times™️

thanks for the info!!! :0

no problem! a lot of the credit honestly goes to @fuckaspunk, who is always keeping me updated on that sort of stuff.

i didn’t know that! a lot of the symbolism seems to come from multiple sources sometimes, from what ive seen?

aaaa gosh omg thank you ;v;

aw thank you???!!

nice!!! oct 24 bdays go!!!

thank you!! it really does mean a lot actually!!!!!!!

of course?? antisemitism cant be ignored in this fight

aw, thats so cute! id love to hear what headcanons you have tbh???

hey thanks?! this is really cool to hear, tbh. i try to be positive most of the time, but im not going to like,,, kid myself when im not feeling it and im glad that other people can appreciate that too, ya know?

wow!!

(this one!) thank you i love that one too???!

hey, im glad you found your way here!! thank you so much!!!

aaaa ty!

hmmm i have two leopard geckos, and they made very good beginning lizards for me and aidan! but i would maybe ask someone a bit more experienced than me, like @kaijutegu or @wheremyscalesslither!!

thank you!!

one day at a time! (but seriously, thank you!!)

yummy yummy sauce...... ty!!!

awww, gosh! thank you!?

AAAA TY BOTH I GET SO SELF-CONSCIOUS ABT MY VOICE,,,,, ;o;

:0 i havent watched that, but it sounds rly cool!!

i like that fun fact a lot! ty!!

pae stands for paerlin, which is what @fuckaspunk‘s internet handle used to be! i used it to refer to them on my blog in secret back when they still didnt know i had a crush on them.... ;//v//;

aaaaa thank you!!! ;o;

nice nice nice ty!!

>:0 get back down here!! (jk that’s rly neat! highfive!!)

those are all good words that i like!! thank you!!!!

i dont know anything about him, but i looked him up and i guess i can see it?!

@fishcrow is really cool! ive never really interacted with them, but im p sure were mutuals...? anyway yeah their comics are rly cute and cool!

that is me! thank you; i hope things go well for you as well!

hello to you too!

aaaa ty!!! tbh the number of nice anons i get way way way outnumbers the mean ones <3

thank you! thank YOU for existing!

:0 chocolate croissant, here i come!!!

thank you!!!!!!💕

its literally my pleasure!!!

aaa ty!!! 💕💕

hehe im glad!

sldf;j;sfjdklfdslfjs thank you so much?????? what a compliment omg gosh

yeah!! i have a hard time on settling what class id be, but i feel like id be a heart player!

ohh um! im not sure which pens youre referring to, but if you mean the ones I use for my comics, i color them with Winsor & Newton ProMarkers, and I do the lines with a purple fine-point Sakura Gelly Roll Classic pen! i also use micron pens of all different sizes and colors in some of my non-diary comic art!

aww thank you so much!!

:0 :) :0 !!!!!!

ty!!! ive grown to love him very much as well!!

thank you! i hope you are doing well also!!

i love them very much?!! id put a picture but i dont have one with all four of them so instead imagine me lying on the floor crying abt how much i love them bc thats me basically every day

you dont mean......

?!?!?!?!?!?!

awwww ty!!!

HEY WOW

aaa gosh thank you!💕

DOUBLE FOLLOW

gay dragons combine the best of both very good things: gay and dragons. im glad you appreciate them w me tysm ;v;

aaa what a lovely message! ty💕

3rd-shift-working, depression-having, corvid-loving solidarity fistbumnp!!!!

huh! ive never heard of that; ill check it out maybe!!

ah im really glad? tysm!!💕

my understanding is that it helps people who have text-to-speech readers? but im honestly not as well informed on that as i should be!

hell yeah!!!!

gosh!!!!!

hnmngnhng youve probably already made a decision but i just gotta say.........shadow rulez

delicious!!

i havent!! i really want to though!

oh man ALL THE TIME. i usually try to either reality check with someone i trust, or to do an activity thats easy and i know i can do, or both!

i love andre and karl!!! its actually a huge influence on me and my art tbh???

i had a good (and safe) trip! ty!!!

hey, thank you!!!

oh jeez thats bad :( i think this was in response to when i needed to wait between med refills?

i cant give a precise reason, tbh! when it comes to whats lucky, i just sort of.... go with my gut, ya know?

thank you!! 👍

that sure sounds like insomnia! its almost hard for me to say tbh, bc ive had trouble sleeping for as long as i can remember, so NOT having trouble sleeping is bizarre and unrealistic to me haha... but i think the bottom line is, if its interrupting your daily routine and making it hard for you to have enough energy, then its something you should look into remedies for!

:0 :0 :0

ohhh how nice! ill give it a try! :>

omg,,,, nope, just me!

thank you!!!!!!

honestly? thats such a good way to look at it i love the idea of my blog as a big zine

always!!!!! go for it!!!

hey, thank you so much!!!!!

omg, thats so great! thank you!

im so glad; thank you!!!

thank you so much!💖 (and mexico, neat! i love hearing where people are following from??)

aaaaaaaaaaaa ;//v//; thank you??? i get so happy whenever ppl tell me they like my singing aaaaaaa

aw, hey, no worries! money is all well and good, but in some ways, messages like this mean just as much!

its cool that comic gave you plural feels! im def not a system though :>

its tricky, isnt it? i still feel like im no good at it lmao

LISTEN,,, there is a 99.9999% chance i wont notice, and a 100% chance i wont judge. reblog away!

THANK YOU ARENT THEY THE BEST I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

thank you!! i hope you have a good day as well!

aaa ty!!💖

aa ty! (what a cool name!!! im kind jealous ngl!)

awww thank you💖

i do my best! i just worry when im not active, bc i tend to connect my self-worth to my output (;^; )

aaaaa ty!! 💖

!!!!!!!!!!!! omg wow i love being called a pretty boy???? ty???????

hey, neat! crow high-five!

aw, thank you!!! 💖

im doing my best! thank you so much, messages like this really help when im in a place like that tbh ;v;

gosh this is so sweet? thank you so muhc !!?

thank you all!! im sorry that saying thank you over and over sounds so repetitive, but i truely do mean it for every one of you!!!

i am..... one of those things!

well thank you!!

ohoho~✨

thank you! and honestly im sure it does??

hey, cool! good for you!!!!!!! and ty!!

aw gosh thank you!💖

hey, wow! thats super cool; thank you so much!

(i dont follow the first person i followed on tumblr anymore.... they became a hockey blog rip haha)

aaaah, thank you so much!!

almost???

i do!! drunken lullabies is an absolute banger!!!!!!!!!!

i am!!!! thank you!!

aw, ty!!! 💖

hee hee, thank you!

my biggest tip honestly?? have someone who can be by your side to help you with... basically everything... during your recovery. bc trust me, i was n o t a v a i l a b l e. i spent a lot of my recovery playing 2048 at the same time as watching tv, bc doing both at once distracted me from how much the bandages itched.

thank you!! (i think this was in reference to getting top surgery!)

how shitty??????? yikes. i hope your supervisor has your back??? bc wow????

hey!!! thank you!!! i draw all my comics traditionally on paper! im not sure what you mean by the writing though? if you mean the word bubbles, i do those by hand on paper too!

I COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND THAT FEELING,,,, im so happy ppl talk to me, but i get really nervous about saying the wrong thing.

when i’m down, i usually crave validation. i like being reminded about things ive done right! i also like gentle reality checks, like, ‘hey: this is the situation, this is what we can do about it. ok? ok’

i unfortunately dont have any!! i had a couple at one point, but they’ve since been lost to the depths of my old laptop. and hey, thank you so much!!

now thats a nifty trick!! im terrible at telling all my white tablets from each other lmao

!!!!!!! ITS ME!!!!!!!!

maybe you just need some space? i know i sometimes temporarily block people i know, if i need some private space or if i dont trust myself to keep cool and solve problems constructively. do what you need to do to feel at ease, and go from there, ya know?

thank you!!!

its,,,, up somewhere above in this monster post lmao i,m so sorry,,,,

thank you so much!!!

WOW NO WORRIES??,,,,,,,,, INCREDIBLE 10/10???????

all four of these came right after i gave myself a hair cut and THANK YOU SO MUCH??? i live for validation and it feels so good to have my actions affirmed ;o;

#WOW THAT TOOK LIKE THREE HOURS HAHA #hopefully next time it wont be as long!!#daveanswersstuff #long post

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kazoous-blog · 7 years

Text

End of third year

I dont post much on here in terms of text, but it’s 2:25 a.m and I realized I forgot to post my progress over the semester so its all just a big bundle all at once. I know this looks bad, Veronika. Sorry 🙏

Either way, somehow I’ve managed to get 9 followers on this blog despite not tagging much. You 9 are the real MVPs, man. I’m not always very happy with the things I produce for school. Very rarely, in fact. I feel as though I can’t challenge myself too much these days. Every time I feel as though I might start to do so, something gets in the way. Life’s too busy, man.

But I got to thinking tonight. Right now, in fact. I only have a year left at OCAD, and I have several plans for afterwards, as always. Can never be too prepared, I say. Its either more schooling, a gap year, or diving straight into work. But I don’t quite feel prepared for either of those things just yet.

Art is really great. I’ve always thought so. But since starting OCAD, I’ve felt the definition of art has become a little obscure to me. I’ve had so many people telling me what is or isn’t art, and criticizing that the things I tend to do art ‘art’, they’re ‘design’. Isn’t design just another form of art though?? There’s a certain kind of elitism I feel, which honestly makes me feel victimized at the school. Its about 90% of the reason why I ran out of Drawing and Painting and into Integrated Media. There was so much entitlement and pretentiousness in one place in so many of the DRPT classes, it was difficult to keep track of myself. Not to say INTM is devoid of elitism. I am, after all, still in an art institution. It gets pretty tough, since everyone has that bias deep down. Everythings very subjective, too. I’ve had some professors praise what other professors have mocked. There’s never a right or wrong answer.

But there is a right or wrong way to find your own answer. A large part of my first and somewhat my second year was spent catering to what my professors wanted to see in order for me to maintain a high average. Which, I believe is necessary. But I also used to let so many voices get inside my head and anger me, to the point where I’d lose track of what was really important for the sake of staying mad at... nothing. Not that it was nothing. Its just that it should have been nothing. But it was a very big something at the time.

Now, I try to be critical of the artistic choices I make. I question my own choices more often than I used to. Why that medium? Why that composition? Those colours? That figure? Why, why, why. And also, why not. See, its so easy to stay confined in your little comfort zone. That being said, I enjoy making art thats easy to understand. Or, at least, easy for the viewers to formulate their own idea of what is happening. You know that elitism I talked about earlier? Theres an epidemic in the art world right now, I feel. And its the same epidemic thats plagued the scientific world in the past few decades. Its the impossible vocabulary we use in a pathetic effort to sound intelligent, to the point where its incomprehensible to someone aiming to learn about it. Science uses words for this vocabulary, as does art, but art has yet another dimension to it as well. The visual vocabulary, often left misunderstood by the viewers, and thus dismissed.

It saddens me, how arts gained such a sour reputation. It saddens me, because I think back to Jean-Francois Millet and the realists who rejected the biblical and aristocratic figures, and turned to the everyday folk and lifestyles of the 99% to shed some beauty on the plain. I think back to Olympia, a whore with the gaze of an emperor, who angered the Salon by simply reclining in her seat, dirty hands and high heeled feet. I think back to Diego Rivera and Frida Kahlo during the Mexican Muralist movement, where they pushed for art by the people, for the people. With this new barring vocabulary, how can we allow for culture to grow? How can we welcome the people in, as art has always done?

And now that I’ve successfully puked out all of my thoughts at 2:49 am, I leave you with this, my third year of OCAD University wrapped up, but not gifted away. Its staying under my Christmas tree, and once in a while, I’ll open it back up, just to remind myself of how far I’ve come.

#an uneditted vomiting of thoughts #courtesy of your friendly neighbourhood art student

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