#there's a lot of myself that i relate 2 him in what he's talked abt on nadd/pod n stuff [/parasocial]

[chompe-diem]

You seem similarly insane about Brian Murphy as I am and I love you I pay for a dropout subscription 70% because he's on it sometimes he makes my brain go crazy I'm not parasocial about this (but I am so close)

hiiiiiii hiiiii hello yes i'm super duper normal about brian murph murphy (lying hard!!) ur so valid anon, there's a lot of Great content on dropout but how much of it do i use to just rewatch the murph adventuring academy and the first 10 min of "it happened" adv party where they talk about murph murphing all over the dice? honest answer is: Too Much.

😔 it's embarrassing how long i've been stanning white boys but in my defence, uuhhhhhhhhh. look i just love someone who is just A Guy and then also knows a lot about stuff and also likes doing a lot of work. exactly my type. it's probably the gender envy idk

anyways yes i think murph is v cool and neat and i try to be a Normal Amount of Parasocial abt him but also he's just neat i think !!!!! he's an awesome dm and when he talks about dm-ing and d&d stuff i think he can say some pretty helpful things, even when the gang's bein silly! and he writes cool campaigns and plots and encounters and makes characters that aren't afraid to be sillysad or cringefail pathetic etc. and yes i like it when he's knowledgeable about mechanics and stuffffffff so anyways the conclusion is bRING MURPH BACK ONTO ADVENTURING ACADEMY- *gunshot*

no but pls just let him talk about stuff i just wanna hear him talk abt stuff just let him back on adventuring academy so i can have an hour of him (and brennan ig) talkin about his d&d dm stuff pls

[viquipo]

No bc I'm so mad rn I usually post my rants on ig stories but I need the tumblrites to tell me if I'm crazy or what. Jwcc/ct spoilers WHATEVER

First of all I want to preface this by saying that this is just my opinion on the matter, I'm not saying your headcanons are "wrong" or whatever tf, it's a kids cartoon where they unironically use terms like "fam". You can play with the characters however you'd like.

That being said, this is why TO ME it does not makes sense for Ben to be anything other than gay. Again, if you think he's bi or straight or anything else that's cool. I'm also leaning towards the opinion that he does actually have a girlfriend. I don't think the shows gonna pull a 180 on it because, realistically, 2 queer characters is already a lot for a DreamWorks kids show. As much as I'd like it not to be.

But, since the beginning, Ben has been very clearly coded as exclusively into men to me. Before finally going into it, I remind everyone on here that I'm a lesbian. I have felt an affinity with his character specifically for the experience of only liking the same gender. I might be totally projecting.

Ok, so.

1. The arc Ben goes through during the show is yes, one of self discovery, but also one of self acceptance. He changes a lot from the start of s1, but he also comes to terms with stuff himself or other people didn't like about him. He doesn't throw the dork pouch away or tells Kenji to keep it, the first thing he does when he takes it back from Kenji is put on hand sanitizer. He is covered in dirt, he's not afraid of filth anymore, but he still does that action because it's part of who he is as a person. He also becomes very unashamed at the things he does. He went from being embarrassed of his carob bars to eating grubs in front of people who he knows think it's gross. He knows himself as he is and he accepts it. To me (and to lots of other people) this works very well as a gay metaphor, and pairs up pretty nicely with the whole "jungle boy? Jungle MAN" arc being a trans metaphor. But how does this make Ben uniquely into men?

Well, it doesn't. But I think this next one does.

2. Enter Yasmina. She's pretty, she's smart, athletic, funny, all that good stuff. I'm not saying that means every wlm character should automatically be into her, but it certainly helps. Now forgive me if I don't remember specific episodes/seasons, but we all remember that episode where Ben convinces himself that Yaz is in love with him for some reason. When he "rejects" her, he says : "I'm just now starting to find myself". That's cool, cause I'm pretty sure Ben's " finding himself " personality wise was over and done a couple of seasons ago. To me, that is a really good hint at him dealing with his gayness.

3. He's also the first person Yasmina talks to about her feelings for Sammy. Now, in this particular context, the options for Yaz to talk to were Darius, Brooklynn, or Ben. It would initially seem to make more sense for her to confide in Brooklynn, since the two of them are far closer than her and Ben, and it also wouldn't be the first time she brings up Sammy as a romantic interest for Yaz (see: everyone tweaking abt that one line back in like s2). So why does Yasmina, a very private and reserved person, choose Ben to talk to about her same sex crush? She has probably gathered from the previous conversation that Ben relates to her struggle in a unique way in which Brooklynn just can't. Ben seems very receptive of what Yaz is saying ("feelings, am I right?") and it seems like he REALLY gets where she's coming from.

4. This is one I don't see talked about a lot, and maybe it's just cause I'm too out of the loop with the fandom, but I want to examine it as well. It's when Ben decides to not actually stay on the island. Everyone (except Sammy) already knew he wasn't going to stay in the end, but still didn't force him out. I think this is especially clear in a line Darius says when they reunite on the boat that goes something like "you needed to figure it out on your own" *smile hand on shoulder combo*. No explanation needed I think

I am diagnosed with autism did you guys know what

[muder-boner]

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Tws for my blog : mention of $h, mentions of fighting , a lot of venting bcuz I hate my life, cigarettes, uh strict parents and they're shitty asf, past shit that still haunts me, swearing, sometimes me being hard on myself, I do not post $h pics.

NO CREEPS, PEOPLE OVER THE AGE OF 20 I AM A MINOR AND I'M NOT LOOKING FOR ANYTHING LIKE THAT (ifykwim)

TW UNDER THIS READING THINGY- BRIGHT COLORS AND GIFS !! :3

Fucking welcome !! Have a drink 🤘

This profile ain't a vent one even though most of the time I complain and whine on here, I'm actually really nice if you interact with me, ask @rainydayzxd . (They're my child and my baby I'll protect them at all costs)

I suffer with $h, I find it hard to find anything i deserve in this world, I don't post $h pics, if there's a post I didn't tag (like a tw) please DM or send me an ask, I'm trying my best to have a safe spot people can interact with.

best ffriends on Tumblr! : @agirlfr0msomewhere @rainydayzxd @deliu07 @kornyblu @dazaissceneslut @raytorosguitarstrap @s1l4s-w0rsh1ps-t0m4t03s

Hallo !! I'm looking 4 friendz, here iz my info dump

My name is Ezra !! Ftm dude and I go by he him

I'm Romanian , yet idk shit abt Romania, or do the whole "tradition" thing,

➤ Music Genre

➤ Emo rock, Death Metal, Nu metal, Goregrind, Sometimes metal core, Power Metal, Glam metal. (Yes I'm a metal head)

➤ Artists and Bands

KoRn , Green Day , Weezer, Tokio Hotel, Mitski, Eminem, Deftones, Steve Gabry, Your Favorite Martian, The Smiths, Epic Rap Battles Of History, Pink Floyd, BabyMetal, Gorillaz, The Strokes, LMFAO, Arctic Monkeys, JT Music, IC3SPEAK, My Chemical Romance, Metallica, Anal Vomit, System of a down, Slayer, Slave steel, Mortician, Slipknot, The Anxiety.

➤ Fandoms : Call Of Duty, Cry Of Fear, My Little Pony, The Walking Dead, Shameless, Deathgasm, Sally face, Err can't really thing of anything else man.

➤ Moviez : Fight club, The virgin suicides, FNAF Movie, The Mario movie, Coraline, Studio Ghibli movies, Deathgasm , All Fred Figglehorn movies, Dinner in America.

➤ Fave colorz : Green pink blue and of course, the best shade ever, Black

➤ Favorite pony from main 6 : applejack

➤ Favorite pony from all series: BIGMAC💗💗

➤ Favorite sanrio : pompompurin he's so me

➤ Favorite Twd character : Carl (i cosplay him!!!) And / or Beth (and many more lol!!)

➤ Favorite Sally face character : Travis Phelps (he's so relatable) (yes I have daddy issues)

➤ Favorite people : @agirlfr0msomewhere, @0r1sw0rldxp, @kornyblu, @s1l4s-w0rsh1ps-t0m4t03s, @wh3nth3pawn , @rainydayzxd, @bull3t-f0r-my-v4l3nt1n3 (STOP CHANGING UR USER NAME SM JORDAN I CAN'T KEEP UP WITH EDITINF THE LIST /pos /j! I luv u change ur username I love ur creativity with em :3)

LOVE MY OTHER MOOTS 2!!!

DNI: - homophobia, racism, sexism, anti furry, anti therian, over 20 , people who want donations, I don't have money, plus I have nothing to do to help. all bad stuff etc

Everyone else is welcome !!<3

I like to think that I'm kind and caring,i love taking care of people, so yes slide in my DMS if u're lonely,im always down to make new moots and friends on here !

➤ My tags !! :

Ezras' food !! ➥ what I ate

Ezras' art !! ➥ my art and drawings

Ezras' outfit !! ➥ what I'm wearing that day

Ezras' day !! ➥ rants about my day

Ezras' vent !! ➥ my vents

Ezras' interests !! ➥ rants about my interests

Ezras' friends !! ➥rants about my friends

Ezras' embarrassing facts !! ➥ My embarrassing facts I'm scared to talk about so I post them on my Tumblr blog!

I might add more in the future !!

Also have tags like "Silas tag !!" Where it's a post or a reblog of my friend or moot !!

Gifs & blinkies are not mine !! (I think that is want they're called

Recently started playing guitar ! fucking metal yes yes

SLAAAAAAAAAAYERRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!

Jumps up and down

I'm Carl Grimes

[pestorik]

can you please expand on deuce/riddle ??? im rlly curious abt them tgt in your AU,,,,

(if you have the time i would also love to read abt azurid & mallerid :D ! no pressure though! im mostly interested in deurid ^^)

the riddle ship trifecta...

i enjoy them bc i think riddle really needs a calm presence in his life that makes him feel like he can act in ways he never had the freedom to do before, without feeling judged or made fun of. whether that is acting childish and silly or just expressing emotion freely. he's obviously really sensitive to being teased so he needs someone who is ok with that and just finds joy in his joy.

i relate to this a lot bc i myself am a very sensitive person, and get emotional really easy but im also very cynical and dry, so i think ppl see that contrast and find it funny. which is fine, but i get hurt or annoyed really easily by teasing bc i think what i really want is for someone to see how easily i get emotional (like crying at almost every movie i watch) and rather than seeing it as smth weird and funny, they recognize my empathy as something good. i want someone to see the value and worth in my emotions, no matter how trivial they seem.

and i think riddle needs that too. deuce isnt super smart but i think he's really earnest and riddle would appreciate that about him. he shows a lot of self awareness in recognizing how his past actions hurt his mom, and realizing he needs to be proactive if he wants to be a better person. very few ppl are willing to admit when they are the problem. he's just a very soft guy, but like, passionately soft. he wants so bad to be good. and i think he would want so badly for riddle to be happy, it would become really important to him just like his mom's happiness.

malleus is super honest about his intentions, which i think riddle needs bc his lack of social skills leave him anxious. he probably would get too frustrated having to play games and guess feelings. malleus just has a super calming presence and riddle needs that so bad. i think they are both pretty awkward bc of their upbringing so maybe they could find comfort in each other, knowing there's no judgement.

azul is none of these things lol 😂 i do NOT think these 2 would be a perfect healthy couple but i enjoy their dynamic. riddle is sensitive ofc but hes also super smart which is why i like the thought of them together. the two top students, not really in a competitive way, more like they recognize each other's weaknesses but also highly respect each other. to the point that they wouldnt ever make a move against the other. i could see them having a more loving relationship but in my mind they are more like a power couple lmao. like two powerhouses joining forces. i do think seeing riddle trying to overcome his own trauma and be a nicer person could inspire azul to do smth similar, realizing that if he likes and respects riddle, there must be some value in kindness without reward.

none of these would be canon in the AT au unfortunately, at least not in my mind (you can do whatever you like with it tho, it also doesnt mean i wont still talk/draw about it). there would definitely still be interactions among them with plenty of room for interpretation. obviously the most between deuce and riddle bc they are both HL.

i could see an episode where riddle recruits deuce to help him repair one of the elephant guardians (since deuce is good at repairing stuff) and they become closer. bc deuce used to get up to a lot of trouble he also has a lot knowledge of some of the rougher parts of the kingdom (im referring to deuces former crew as the spoiled fruit gang) and probably accompanies riddle when he needs to go there. riddle might sometimes go to deuce for advice on his relationship w his mother, since deuce is close w his mom. it would be cute if deuces mom came to really adore riddle and gave him a lot of the experiences he didnt get w his own mother.

[stellas-starry-sillies13]

YAYAYAYAYAYAYA MATCHUPSSS

I'm a girl and I'm looking for a pjsk matchup!

my personality?? um, god I'm an annoying motherfucker. when I find someone who's willing to listen, I will yap for hours about my interests. I have hpd, bpd(?), and adhd which is super duper fun totally 😐 but I think I'm funny maybe idk? I'm really insecure and I like actually can't find anything good about myself 😓 maybe I'm a fast learner? I'm sort of a nerd like, I'm in accelerated math 🤓

things I'm most sensitive to? idk what this means but ig I hate bugs and clowns and vomit and that shit. also when my s/o isn't giving me attention I would literally start screaming crying shaking.

my number one talent is simping. 💀 I have a shrine for 2 different people and when I have a crush on someone they're all I talk about 😭

my hobbies are drawing, writing, playing pjsk, and screaming lyrics of songs I like really loudly. I've also been getting back into dance lately that's pretty sigma. age range is 13-15 and there are no characters i don't want to be matched up with

what i want in an s/o? think of seo changbin from skz 🤩 jkjk (only slightly) i want a s/o thats nice to me, is at least slightly taller than me, (5'4), is funny, has decent fashion sense, and a real nice voice (but I suppose that's all the pjsk boys..)

what i don't want in an s/o is as I stated earlier, someone who doesn't give me attention, someone who puts me down, someone who brushes off my interests, and someone with a bad hairstyle /hj

yeah ty!! if this ask gets sent into the void I WILL cry!!!

' . < Project sekai matchup No. 1~! > . '

A/N: omg you do good in math??? You sound like a good s/o already. Girl if you like think think im sure you can find good stuff abt you. Liiiike you have a nice humor you made me crack a smile several times while reading this. Also idk youre just a fun person. ADHD? I xan relate. Its not confirmed but i probably do have it. Liek seriously whenever im doing my my math i just randomly start daydreaming and my mom always has to snap me back to reality. Thankfully she finds it funny lol and doesnt scold me for it. Also we're the same height so yay. Also same age range. We kin eachother fr.

Anyway! For the grand reveal, I match you up with....

` . < Rui~! > . '

A/N: Im sorry when you said you want someone who shows you attention i immediately thought of rui.

He will listen to every single detail of your rambles about your interests

Honestly finds it adorable

As someone who also rambles a lot about his own interests, he can relate

He understands that you have hpd and will give you all the attention in the world if you so desire

I like to think he will be very physically affectionate. With this mam, how could you NOT get all the attention in the world??

Finds your 'annoying' personality endearing

Sometimes just watches you draw over your shoulder without saying a word and then you just turn around and see him there and be like 'wth did you come from??'

Asks you to draw him

Loves to just watch you and observe you dance. Might even ask for you to teach him on of your dances. (Idr if it its canon that wxs dances but they prolly do, so)

Def teaches you one of the dances he performs

Im not sure if he has a decent fashion sense.. Idk depends ony our perspective

His voice though? Its the definition of nice. Like out of all the boys his is gentle and smooth. Sounds nice to me

[shit-taster-connoisseur]

fav ship / character and least fav ship / character? 🙏🙏🙏

favorite ship:

who couldve seen this coming?/j

read more as it's just me taking any excuse to yap BDJD

honestly, how talk abt them to friends sometimes arent my actual characterizations of their dynamic/relationship. But really they're spinning in my head like a microwave everyday, so my interpretation of them of them generally change depending on settings, aus, or just my mood.

The thing that draws me to them is the fact that Fanny seems like a loyal solider(quite literally), but to where she'd definitely throw herself off a cliff for her leader/command(for rachel only really.) Meanwhile Rachel is pretty oblivious to the length Fanny would go for her – and visa versa. They're devoted to each other, yet are scared to repair their fractured friendship at the same time(mostly on fanny's side).

Honestly idk how to explain it xjsb

also the fact Fanny was Rachel's runner up for her GOT fuels me everyday, cause besides this moment, we don't really get too many moments where rachel isn't pissed at fanny for reasons.

could just be her being harsh as it comes with a leader, cause welp, fanny does fuck up a lot. But with these interactions you'd think Rachel wouldve considered ANYBODY else – besides nigel – for her second choice. so 1000000000% rachel had to have ALOT of trust in Fanny to place her as a second in command of an entire global organization, despite her trackrecord of botched missions(which, honestly i believe is why Nigel had been Rachel's first choice, because while nigel had seen mostly sucess in his teams' mission, fanny had gotten the short end of the stick and just faces failure after failure from what we've seen.)

uhhh anyways!! Fanny fell first(unknowingly) amd by the time they become teenagers, Rachel ends up falling harder and depressingly misses her GOT while she's suffering in TND orientation.

TLDR: a shitty anaylsis(barely) on how loyal moonbabes are to one another and they have trust!! I'm not normal about them

If ur curious abt my ranking for ships than here ya go:

1. Moonbabes

2. Lizzie/10

3. Wally/Kuki

4. Kuki/Fanny(or alternatively; Fanny/Kuki/Rachel)

Favorite character?

It's technically split down the middle between Rachel and Fanny, but my focus usually flipflops. So this week we got:

1. Rachel

2. Fanny

3. Chad

4. Cree

5. Negative 362 and Negative 86

Rachel: for reasons, honestly, I loved her since i was a kid. There's a lot to disect about her, and i love that, love her position, her personality, the kind of the role she plays, etc etc idk how to explain any of jt, or the specfics so you get this short ass summary instead

-also headcanon: her relationship with Harvey is rather strained, so Rachel tries to make it up to him by favoring him when it comes to mission assignments when he joined the KND, he also struggles to get her approval by completing them

Fanny: ashamed to admit, i cannot sit through a fanny episode withoht needing to pause and pace around – but like rachel, i like pretty much everything about her, she's interesing to disect as so much of her background is left up for interpretation. Like why did ahe join ths decommissioning squad? Why is she the way she is? Because of the decom squad or her time as a nurse, or just life in general bxns?

-headcanon: Her real name is Francine, and Fanny's a nickname because she thought it sounded less mature and didnt put too much thought in it's meaning in Ireland cuz she didnt live there that long (also her mother didnt have the heart to sit her down and explain it to her at her young age)

other global ops dont bat an eye to it, unfortunately Irish operatives cringe everytime they hear her name.

3. Chad is a loser. A failure. And i love him for that/j but actually, his entire character is interesting, and so much is left in the air for me to dig my teeth into and make up shit for him. One major headcanon i've convinced myself of for him is that he's related to rachel/harvey (cousins???)

-another hc: he's on the aromatic spectrum(shout to friend Amber for the idea cmdb)

4. Cree love her. I can forgive a woman of her crimes always xmsn one reason she's high up on the my list this week is she's interesting(duh), but like all the others she has so much character/info on her but little bits not filled to where i can just make up shit- canonically, i love her role, hsr character, she's an amazing villian/antagonist steals the show everytime - i'd pay warburton with my own money to write what she was like as a KND operative, she is quite skilled from the bits we've witnessed in flashbacks and in the present. One thing that runs through my mind is that Warburton in a Q&A, hinted that Cree probably wouldnt have scouted by the TND, that she was already trekking on a dark path while in the KND. BSJDB

-Headcanon: her and chad and steve have nights where they just hangs out and they watch stuff on Adult Swim. She probably likes South park

5. -362 and -86, got nothing to abt thene beyond they're silly(and possibly evil)

Least favorite Character/Ship

To be honest, i got no hate towards any of the characters in KND, they're all really interesting in their own way.

If i had make a tier list tho-

He'd be at the bottom. Only because he'd definitely call me a slur/j

And for ships, i'm not a multi shipper but i'm neutral to most.

tho fanny x a man will kill me, Cuz man, idk how you can look me straight in the eyes and tell me she's not lesbian,

Just LOOK AT HER

-

Thank you for the ask!!

[thewickerking]

hey. what?

well. For context everyone im assuming this ask is referring to this post and my tags below

im assuming because of the. The.

Many. Prev tags on it lmao but anyways here's more context. ill try to keep specific elements vague cause i don't want to doxx my grandma and by extension myself. But yeah let's go

my grandma (maternal) ran away from home in her teens (not sure the exact year/age but 70s ish) to join the circus and worked there for an amount of time doing ticket sales and miscellaneous jobs that aren't performance based

she met a guy also working there and they dated. this guy joined a satanic cult after joining the circus (? I think. Mightve been the other way around) and performed ritualistic sacrifice within the cult/with his murder victims. he was not in charge of the cult but was an active member and serial killer across around 4 states, maybe more (evidence was found for about 4 states iirc)

anyways he got caught for evidence of multiple murders but confessed to upwards of 20 (they couldn't find evidence of this so its unclear if he was exaggerating or if there simply wasn't enough irrefutable evidence) and went to prison while my grandma was pregnant and she was also arrested as an accomplice and had her kid in prison. She was 18 at the time. Idk how long she spent in prison but it was long enough to have her son taken away

her son (first of her four children, was my oldest uncle on my moms side) has adopted parents who changed his first and last name and didn't let him know about his biological parents (and were also extremely abusive) and so my mother and her siblings and her mom did unsuccessful research to find him over the years and he found our family a few years before he turned 30 (my moms ten years younger than him btw) and we've been in contact since and he was my personal favorite of my moms siblings

Oh also the serial killer got sentenced to life without parole and is currently on death row. My uncle died last year from unrelated circumstance (I posted about it some last year if anyone remembers) and my mom adopted 2 of 3 of his kids (3rd was a legal adult already) and then they got kidnapped and their kidnappers won the custody battle against my mom so. Yeah

Oh also worth noting my mom is the youngest of the four. my grandma had four kids with different men so im not related to the serial killer but he is in my family tree? Anyways yeah different fathers. My grandma remembers the serial killer and my moms father (my abuelito ♡ love him) but doesn't remember the fathers of the middle children (my aunt and uncle). So they're my moms half siblings technically and nobody knows if the middle children have other half siblings on their dads' sides 🤷‍♂️ but my mom has a half sister on her dad's side! She's 2 years younger than me bc my abuelito got married to his ex wife later in life but they're not together anymore (?) Not sure. They broke up idk if they legally divorced but they live in different countries and don't talk to each other. So.

Id love to meet her someday! But I don't know if thats feasible. She lives in Mexico and only speaks spanish so it would certainly be difficult. But I want to.... she almost immigrated to the United States like. 6 years ago?? My mom paid for documents to be legally translated and stuff but stuff happened and it didn't go through.she also tried to kill her mom once. But she's doing better. That's all a long story. We have a picture of her in our house from when she was little!

Ok thats very tangent-y. I have a lot of family stories. But also if anyone was curious this post below was also about my maternal grandmother

shes a white woman who likes to weaponise having "friends" in nepal when people are mean to her. She's a character. if ppl are curious abt any of this i will answer btw i love talking abt my family they're deranged

[boyfridged]

yutro i need to hear more abt ur canon oc willis todd. please.

oh the pleasure is mine! (i feel like i have waited for this question my whole life though so it will be long. and won't even cover all of it.)

obviously, willis todd was born in the crime alley. he was raised by struggling parents and an assembly of aunts and uncles, not all blood related. his family broke down due to financial trouble. there's a whole background here i have in mind: the area used to be more dominated by heavy metal industry workers, but the companies started seeking cheap labour abroad, throwing the community into an almost decade old crisis and causing them to disperse while also trying to gentrify the area (partly by exploiting the queer & artistic spots in the area that are also often found in districts with high immigrant & working class areas. that's a thing that happens in many cities) (that's offtopic but hence the fancy cinema in the area!). when willis was very young, his father was a victim of aggressive lay-offs and was soon found dead. his mother left gotham with another man when willis was 17. he did not blame her for it.

he is also a 2nd/3rd gen immigrant. i do not have a "set" ethnicity for him (although in thursday night and my other wip he is vietnamese.) it's also important to me that he speaks the language.

he's never been exceptionally good at school but he's smart and knows his way around plenty things. he spent his adolescence working many odd jobs, involving the less-legal ones mentioned in canon - "running numbers" and boosting cars, but not only. he managed to get the GED despite and enrolls into a scholarship LPN programme provided by the wayne foundation (nothing to do with bruce btw, who at the time is not involved neither in the company nor in the philantropy. it's probably based on late thomas wayne's project.) it's not his dream job but this is what is available, it's honest work and he's good enough at it. this is also how he meets sheila.

willis does fall in love with sheila, but she takes interest in him first and tbh willis also falls a bit in love with pretty much anyone and everyone he meets. he sees the best in people. they are never serious though, but when pregnancy comes into play, willis is determined to work something out. maybe sheila thinks she can be a mother for a moment too, and she is vaguely around for the first 2-3 months, except she's not being a mother anyway. and also soon she looses her freshly obtained license as a result of medical malpractice, and willis loses his scholarship because of the association with her too.

he meets shiva by accident and performs first aid on her. sandra gives him her contact details "in case he ever needs anyone gone." willis being willis thinks absolutely nothing of it.

on that note. willis just has what i'd call middle mannered boyish charm, good-spirited sense of humour and the tiniest amount of shyness/awkwardness that makes people (women especially) like him a lot. and he doesn't mind casual romance himself so his address book (or whatever the contemporary equivalent would be) grows to be quite a weird list.

he's briefly a single dad to jay before he meets catherine. they manage just fine for a while, he gets a job as a mechanic, and he is home enough for jay to speak the language too (jay does not speak it later in life though. but jay's relation to willis is a whole another topic i could write hundreds of words about). when catherine gets sick and the financial issues follow, he gets much more absent and depressed. still, every decision he takes is always motivated by the love for his family. he might not have time nor energy to entertain jay as much as he'd like to, so their past-time becomes taking naps together. and willis likes music so he sings him to sleep.

i talked about willis' parenting and his attitude irt violence here so i will not repeat myself but i do think he was relentlessly patient and that this kindness in the eyes of many made him a bit naive. but he would also stop at nothing for his family. love drives men like him into paradoxical points of no return sometimes. &he is convinced he's getting his hands bloody so that jay's never ought to be.

i think he goes on blackgate on a murder charge, because blackgate is blackgate. if he did it or not is a whole another matter; and he surely knows too much for two-face to get rid of him. perhaps contrarily to the charge, his "crime" was actually trying to take a step back and this is what got him in trouble.

[plasmasimagination]

hello!! i would like a hsr matchup if u still do them?? if u don't, then I apologize for not knowing im new to this 💔💔

im a gay autistic + bpd guy whose mbti type is entj :] despite being able to interact w other ppl if I want 2, I still don't HAHA I see no use in talking w strangers which may make me difficult to get along with at first.... i don't speak unless it's necessary. I love my friends dearly though and believe I have enough in my life to get by if yk what I mean. I love anything related to photography a lot and typology as well!! i like analyzing people mainly so I can feel good abt how I described them perfectly (hehehe sorry)

erm I don't get mad easily and when I'm upset, I brush off my feelings and try to be rational which has made ppl super comfortable with me!! which is good bcuz it's easier for them to b honest... I think... tho it's rough for me to open up I never do

i also enjoy philosophy sometimes!! I'm not religious at all but there's prob something out there...and I journal almost every night. I used to write poems and stories when I was 11-13, but now a lot of them never get finished smhh I love physics too esp astrophysics!! it's been my fav since my childhood ^_^ oh UMMM i like drinking tea (no I'm not british... im desi HAHA) 💔💔💔 i have always done well in school despite skipping a lot n now thinking abt failure in general makes me panic ... oops

I hope this was worded okay bcuz I can b terrible at describing myself !!! have a good day!!!

Hii sweetheart

Onto your matchup!

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.

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DAN HENG

Dan heng as calm as he is does enjoy the presence of a sweetheart like you

Similar to you, Dan Heng also dislikes talking to strangers, and prefers not to attempt to talk to them in any way

Dan Heng is a reader, and would love if you allowed him to read your stories/poets, he's gonna give constructive criticism but also praise, after all the best door to a soul is a poets work and he uses that to get to know your thought process and mind

I always say this, but when U date Dan Heng you get a free march 7th

So since you two are both into photography I'm sure y'all can talk about It or like take photos together, Dan Heng will be off to the side just watching the conversation go down and nodding satisfied

Your ability to analyze people will do well with Dan Heng, he's not very vocal about his feelings, so when you can figure it out it will help a lot so you can communicate easier with him

[kurjakani]

Random intials, just go with whoever comes to mind first :)

P. L.

Ok so. Ik you prolly meant seperately as two characters. But thast Peter Lukas thats Plukas thats my Actual Husband thats. Hehheh hoo boy. So im doing Plukas TEEHEE

send me a character and i’ll list:

favorite thing about them: old salt who is themed around isolation and loneliness? Idk do I have to even explain it further (aside from canonical facts- I really really love playing with the ideas of him fooling himself about his absolute desire for loneliness. This is me mirroring: due to various reasons I isolated myself for years, and I had truly convinced myself I hated everyones company, and wanted to live as far away as I could- however this was a coping mechanism. And Plukas does have a lot to cope with, let's be real. He seems 2 have like. a startling amount of apathy abt a lot of things, which i find at points relatable, alluring and concerning) (additionally w how much he seems 2 talk endlessly when he actually gets the chance. Id imagine he would be way more to the point if he truly wanted 2 get tf out of there asap.) (I also do find his voice acting incredibly soothing. Could listen to him for ages.)

least favorite thing about them: I can't even comprihend such a thing. The fact that he's not in my arms rn?

favorite line: Ok i could listen 2 him for days but i think this one got me in some way: "I had no time for books or television, or any of the escapes and artificial friendships of fiction. No, I was myself, and that was enough. I would spend my days exploring the wide grounds and forests of our estate, finding the hidden corners I thought that none would have found before me –" He comes off almost as spiteful towards the idea of company of others. So insistant of his intentions.

brOTP: Salesa :3 Also Martin but like in a toxic yuri way.

OTP: prolly also Salesa?? mayhaps???

nOTP: shrugs i haven't seen a lot of ships for him in general tbh!

random headcanon: I tend 2 think he is rather immature. Socially and emotionally. We do kinda see that in the ep the last, his little tantrum when things don't go his way- but imagine what a childhood of isolation from all people and a cold shoulder from your parents does to you?? I dont have 2 imagine im that person girl its me im the problem its me. I imagine he's surprisingly easy to upset. You prolly wont notice it bc instead of bursting w anger he'll sulk, which is also not great. bottled up feelings etc.

unpopular opinion: idk what ppl think abt him eerally SOBS

song i associate with them:

Martin: (echoing) His only wish was to die alone. Also in general one of my favourite songs in all of existance so!!!

favorite picture of them: no offical peter jpegs but i always think of the every peter lukas line video on youtube it makes me so happy

[cx3ryz]

sigh.

i realize i dont rant here enough like as much as i should. i should be drawing and not spending time being a fucking idiot ranting on TUMBLR at 2 am but shuake is just too serious for me

CUZ yall don’t understand my level of. crazy. my level of insane my level of obsession its been like 7 months of just straight up fixation and i always find the same things to feel the new feeling of love again for them. saw someone talking about their short film like a little summary on what its abt and the inspiration, a little love letter to their lover of sorts saying how the film is abt genuinely loving someone who is good to you for the first time, “This was the first time I would say "I love you" to someone, and it not come from a place of fear or a toxic one. This film is a celebration of vulnerability, and letting pure, secure love in without the constant impulse to self sabotage” I’ll quote and bc i cant think of love without immediately thinking of shuake (its a genuine problem lmao😭), i HAD to just think about them and yk what. idegaf their love is so beautiful to me. i think the idea of akechi having bpd and the same mental issues and disorders as me finding love in someone who is also very similar to him in some sense, like them both being autistic and such, just really speaks a lot to me.

im definitely not an opposites attract person, although they technically WOULD be opposites i think the whole troupe of “enemies” to lovers is the fact that they arent really enemies and actually have a lot more in common than first thought, at least when done well anyway so to me, they aren’t opposites when it comes to like. the things that matter like personality and the things that make people connect and become closer like the things u cant control ig lol but anywho, bc i hc (its basically canon) akechi having bpd i think thats why it means SO MUCH more to me and i love his character sm. he’s not my favorite, but bc that’s the first time i see a character like that be represented with something so similar to me and not be treated like a villain or just be really extreme like akechi is definitely. well. extreme but he’s not like, let’s say, like yuri level from ddlc like i wouldnt even consider that bpd she just straight up crazy😭 like idk, i just really relate to akechi so i really see him having bpd and bc ive always felt soo left out bc of my bpd even in spaces you would THINK would be safer, i always feel singled out somehow and although i still dont really know why, ig i see myself in akechi a lot and even akira too so the idea that parts of me could find that love and care like the fact that parts of me could find other parts of me, ig im not broken lmao like its all a little puzzle :)

okkk lore drop🔥🔥 got so hashtag emo there BUT that meant something i promise!!! that whole idea of feeling like ur missing something or theres just something wrong with u or ur unloveable or whatever, the idea that akechi felt that and FOUND it in akira makes my heart melt like a fucking fangirl i hate everything. i always think abt shuake and their love bc people always say how they are so toxic blah blah blah, and yk what, lemme not lie, that’s probably the truth! but i cant see them being soo toxic like that especially with how young they are like akechi was like. a few months of just turning 18, akira was 17 like they arent full grown adults even tho akechi was definitely aware enough to know what he was doing was wrong (even at 15 or however old he was when first helping shido i would say), you wouldnt understand the FULL severity of it like its a lot to explain but HOPEFULLY i make sense lol😭😭 and i think just being so young and growing through so much like im already. off. and i dont even live a life CLOSE to that EVER like of course he’s gonna be a little. off his rockets🤩 i mean what did yall expect😭 i keep using this phrase but yea!! so the idea of him meeting akira and finally being able to feel that youth and enjoy parts of life that typically teenagers get to live is si sweet to me.

mind u, im not saying that him living that “teenage life” is the way it HAS to be lived bc i think my life is better without those things as a teen myself and its most definitely not necessary but to me, akechi is just like. a very much stan twitter gay guy😭 he has his little bit of nerd (WHICH I LOVE^_^) but like anyone, of course he would want and need that friendship, that connection. do i believe he wouldn’t really care abt friends and shit? yea bc look, i dont really care for that myself but i wont lie to you and tell u i would love just ONE good connection in my life like yk, a friend i actually want but im not gonna be all friendless here so back to akechi!😊 he’s just very normal high schooler to me, ONE THING I LOVE ABT HIM AND SUMI ACTUALLY. i feel like with sumi, because ae doesn’t know like anything abt akechi’s past and what’s he’s done and stuff i feel like akechi just gets to live a “regular high schooler life” with sumi, yk? like everytime akechi and sumi would hang out (i like to believe they would hang out pre royal idgaf🥱) and akechi would complain or talk akira, sumi would just think “ah he’s on his crush thing again” like ae has NO CLUE he’s gonna shoot him in the head and yk what. that connection definitely means something bc that would be the first person akechi has ever met his age who ISNT involved in his “work life”?? like isn’t involved in his cases and shit like. a genuine healthy friendship🤯🤯🤯 and thats ANOTHWR reason i love sumigoro (make fun of me all u want but i seriously do not. gaf😜😝) bc i think akechi would really go and mess that up, he’d be like “wait. do i actually like sumi” all bc of the fact that they have a good connection and akechi isnt used to that

WHICH brings me to what i was GOING TO bring up (sorry for the crazy detour) but YEA, the whole idea of having a love and always feeling the need to self sabotage reminds me smm of shuake. akechi going and ruining their connection even though there was definitely ways he could’ve gone abt killing shido��. with the phantom thieves’ health possibly👀👀???? i feel like that was the prime explain of self sabotage, guilt and the fact that he wasnt even actually processing what he did and HAS done. like that one scene after 11/20 where he’s in the studio filming and their asking him abt the pts and he gets slient and thinks abt some shit like abt the pts and sorta feels guilty (idk if thats the undesirable child scene i think it is but im not sure lol) but yeah that, that is the PRIME explain of processing and guilt. after killing people and doing all that shit for so long i think that was the first time it actually hit him like “oh shit wait. i’ll never see these people again” like the idea that it hit so close to home, these were kids HIS age, even younger too and.. what EYE like to believe, people he thought probably deserved more life than even himself (like the after thought of it) bc u cannot convince me he really sent his ass over to shido’s palace just to tell joker some shit like girl. and getting himself killed too like naww that’s embarrassing as shit😭😭 like ik thats talked abt and thats what the whole scene is abt but like. EXACTLY he felt guilt for his actions and felt he needed to atone!! HE HADNT REALLT PROCESSED ANYTHING IF HE WAS FEELING THAT NOWW ofc he was going to get innocent people killed like. YEA😭😭 but he’s a fucking kid like what did u expect him to do, even if i had that power even with the current knowledge i have☝️🤓 i wouldnt even realize wtf im doing like yk ur doing something bad, but as a smart kid too.. its all abt competition lol, but in all seriousness tho and they show that in the game

ok sorry got off track again but yea, self sabotaging his love with akira all for the competition of it all, clearly i will never just flow into it naturally so ill state it plainly, self sabotaging his love and overall genuine connection with akira bc thats all he was ever thought to do, from his own mother and obviously, his own father. had to sabotage the love he had for his mother bc well. she ended up kwording herself😭😭 and had to sabotage the love for his father (which didnt exist to me idc) bc he had to kill him, i mean. he was awful😭😭 so having that constant battle between that, thats one thing i LOVE like ADORE ABOUT SHUAKE i love the idea that they could be vulnerable with each other i also love akira and his personality cuz he compliments akechi so well in SO MANY WAYS whoever wrote and made their characters and storylines personally ate with their yaoi deliverance😍😍 LMAO that was a joke but honestly. gave us such a good ship TY🙏 atlus at least for SOMETHING ur good at like like the thing i quoted said, THE WAY THAT IF ATLUS WOULDVE GAVE US AN I LOVE YOU BETWEEN THEM. aside from the fact i would’ve killed myself and died and then fell off a cliff and then kill myself again and killed myself a 3rd time just to make sure i also would’ve cried SO BAD, ik thats asking for WAYY TOO MUCHH but let a girl dream smh like IT WOULDVE MESNT SO MUCH AND HAD SM WEIGHT, it truly would’ve been akechi’s first ily that would’ve came from a genuine good place or would’ve been the first ily he ever heard that didnt try to manipulate or gain smth out of him!! which is. BEAUTIFUL ALL WAYS U LOOK AT IT like they definitely had their ups and downs (shuake i mesn) but the fact akira still wouldve loved him and seen him through everything is just so. something abt the unstable and the unstable but a little more stable dynamic😍😍 but seriously tho lol, i love their connection. again, it just speaks a lot to me SO PERSONALLY i hate everything

one thing i love abt royal is how we got to see akechi’s character a bit, i do like the royal writing a lot for this reason, some parts felt like aww yk lol and kinda reminiscent to the beginning of the game which felt a lot more genuine even tho royal’s writing felt more fanservicey, it had SOME sense of like, ok the characters arent written toooo bad here like the middle of persona so i appreciated it and u can tell atlus put a lot more work on the royal trio scenes (the fanservice was crazy in that part😭) so i also loved that too lol bc again, we got to see akechi’s character and the effect joker had on him and how like. less of an asshole he was like i wish we could’ve seen just a BIT more of him. again again i just LOVE dynamics like shuake and seeing characters grow and shit and shuake just does it so well UGH i hate them😭😭

[joleneghoul]

Hey I followed to see that DC Disability public essay, so I’m new to this blog. It had me wondering what was your journey of discovering DC and it’s characters and what are your favorite comics, stories and characters?

Hi! Welcome and I'm sorry this blog is kinda my "put everything i think of" train of thought blog. But it's also my only blog lol! Thank you for being interested in the Essay. It's not near done as I'm still taking responses but we will get there. Rest is under cut because i accidentally rambled on.

As far as my journey with DC comics I feel like Dc has just been a part of my life forever- I've grown up in this world where caped stories are pop culture and everywhere and when i was growing up like EVERY cartoon about heroes was about the dc ones (brave and the bold, batman the animated series, justice league)

Actually my first memory I can recall is seeing an episode of justice league on the tv and seeing john stewart green lantern.

Though I wouldnt of called myself a fan really back then because my special interests for most of my life started with Sonic and then Transformers. But in my opinion the base of both of those universes and stories is the same as caped comics so it makes sense I eventually got into them fully.

I don't think I've told the story about how I started actually reading the comics but basically I was homeless at 17 and thats when my love for these comics started. I started reading old batman comics because around then I had met my boyfriend whos special interest was batman so that was my way of both distracting myself and bonding with him.

BUT through batman comics I got introduced to Blue Beetle and Booster Gold and I instantly shifted to reading the Blue beetle comics (sorry to booster i didnt read vol 1 until maybe a year later) specifically the 1986 solo about Ted Kord.

Like I mentioned I was homeless at the time and I hadn't even been diagnosed yet with any of my illnesses I had been suffering from for 5+ years at that time. But within those comics there are two very special stories that cemented my love for these comics and its.

1. Ted has an issue where he goes around the streets of Chicago at night because someone is killing homeless people. In other stories i'd read heroes would maybe briefly talk to the homeless if at all. But instead of that Ted the entire comic sits down with people and speaks to them and gets their stories. I remember reading it and feeling "oh, this is a hero who would actually care to sit down on the sidewalk with me. This is special".

2. There is another story in this run where Ted basically defends the life of this kid who ran away from home and has no immune system and sets out a way to help him. Not the best but I was relating to the kid at the time.

I ended up carrying around an issue relating to Ted in my backpack for most of that time just because it was special to me. Anyways its pretty much history from there I ended up getting into Booster Gold and other heroes as I looked further into these stories and learned more about teams and etc. But Ted Kord will always be special to me, especially since he also has a chronic condition.

As my condition progressed this became one of my outlets for expression and it still is. Through reading I found that a lot more of these heroes were disabled than I had previously thought because NOBODY talked about it. I remember at first not knowing Booster had lost an arm because it just wasn't something I saw mentioned (though back then like. Nobody was posting abt him or ted hardly. you'd be surprised it was like they had a lull in popularity for a bit which makes sense they were not in comics) so I kinda have made it so I talk about these things so they are in peoples minds more. At least a bit.

As far as my Favorite comics go I have to say my favorite comic is Justice Leagues Quarterly 10, but you'd probably want to know the JLI roster before reading it if you dont. JLQ has very fun collections of stories. I try to recc blue beetle 1986 to people too just because it's special to me same for booster gold 1986.

Speaking of essays, here is one I wrote about Booster Gold and his relationship with disability.

[reel-fear]

Love as a construct rambling below bc Im thinking so fucking hard abt it rn

one of my favorite bits ever since I read the fic as a kid who has just played portal 2 in elementry [yes I've loved it for that long, I still remember looking up GLaDOS x Wheately on my first shitty little windows computer when I stumbled upon it haha and man did I love it] was the one where Rick shows up, both bc its hilarious and very fun but also because it's just... It's such a delight. Everything about it. I've got so many lines from this fic outright memorized bc of how often I read it. If all fics were suddenly wiped one day this is the fic I would desperately try to keep archived no matter what.

ANYWAYS THO THE RICK CHAPTERS, not only hilarious but a great dissection of Wheatley's character and his true love for GLaDOS. The way his character contrasts with Rick is soooo well explored and in mere words is put out so plainly and well in character. Having Rick go full out Alpha Male Podcaster in this chapter was a great way to show just how well intentioned Wheatley always is. Rick speaks of trying to bed GLaDOS and who Wheatley is a little idiot who will never Get anything out of his relationship with her leaves Wheately baffled and confused. Because he's not in this relationship to try and wrangle something out of GLaDOS, Rick is projecting and Wheatley can't even seem to understand how or why Rick would view GLaDOS almost like an object for him to own.

It baffles and terrifies him. How could someone ever view the amazing, complex, powerful and beautiful GLaDOS like that? The way he starts to view Rick for the weirdo hunter/predator he is also shows Wheatley's intelligence, which is ironic but regardless. He might be stupid but he knows GLaDOS deserves better than that and that the way Rick thinks of and talks about her is demeaning.

But specifically these lines in particular.

everything about it potrays Wheatley so in character, the way his thoughts are so scattered, he gets off topic so quickly in a way that only makes sense in his brain. Me and Roddy have talked at length about how in this fic GLaDOS and Wheatley easily potray neurodivergence and Wheatley in particular has a very frantic fast and panicked mind. He screams ADHD or Autism mixed with an anxiety disorder to me. The way he thinks, the way he tries to talk it reminds me a lot of myself. Even if generally I find GLaDOS the most relatable character here.

Hell Wheatley after this thinks of how strange it would sound to tell GLaDOS he was visualizing her as a butterfly. Her brain just doesn't work the same way his does.

Not to mention it shows one of the best things about Wheatley's inner conflict here, how does he protect someone he views as so much more powerful than he is? He can't just disregard the idea of protecting her. Even if it doesn't make sense logically. He wants to protect her more than anything in the world, she might not need that protecting, he might not be able to do it, but those facts don't matter to him. His love for GLaDOS overpowers everything.

When Rick implies GLaDOS made a mistake Wheatley tells him bluntly GLaDOS Doesn't make mistakes, even when she herself has admitted it to him that she's not perfect. Wheatley just thinks the world of her and while Rick passively demeans her Wheatley sings her praises.

When Rick shoves him his instinct is to shove back but his second thought, what would GLaDOS want? This is the thing that makes Wheatley not like Rick, even in this part where Wheatley can be read as somewhat protective and possessive, this thought in particular shuts down the idea Wheatley would ever let such things overide GLaDOS' desires. He wants to protect her and keep her close to him, that's his first thought but his second? What does She want? What would She do?

THIS, is what makes Wheatley different than Rick. Wheatley doesn't want to warn GLaDOS about Rick so she won't hang out with other men or so she won't fall in love with them. He doesn't want her to do those things of course, but most of all he wants her to be able to make an informed decision about what she is doing. If Rick and her did get together, he wanted there to be no deception, no tricks or manipulation. That's what he wants for GLaDOS that's how he protects her.

It's not about keeping her to himself, it's about knowing if he lets go... She'll still be okay and happy.

[bungouchronicles]

are you a minor?

who are your bsd kinnies?

when did you get into tumblr?

what's your fave bsd take?

what's one bsd thing (character/opinion/etc) that u think should be talked about more?

fave animal?

how do u make friends (i need help 😭).

do u play an instrument

share thoughts/reviews abt bsd

jus answer the ones ur comfy answering 💖

Hiii!!

Woah this is my first ask, thank you <3 Let's see!

1. I'm not comfortable with sharing my age on the internet so I won't, sorry.

2. Atsushi is my highest kin but I also kin Ranpo and Dazai (don't ask how/j)

I also happen to get Nikolai on a lot of "what character are you?" quizzes and I always relate to him on those "analysing kinnies" things but I refuse to admit that to myself yet 😋

3. I don't remember tbh, I started out on another account but I'm too lazy to look up how old that account is. I think I first joined Tumblr like 2-3 years ago?

4. Ahh I don't know! I have a lot of takes but I can't seem to remember any of them right now haha. I'll get back to this someday.

5. Okay I'll have to make a seperate post about this someday but probably how soukoku is (or at least was) what the other one wished they could be. I love their parallels about how they view humanity which I think already is pretty talked about but yk, you can always talk more about it!

I also think we as a fandom should talk more about Yosano in general, she's very dear to me <3

Oh and Bram! I wanna know more about him and his daughter. He's so silly, how could we not talk about him??

Also I adore the religious symbolism in bsd, we should all talk more about that!

I also think we should talk more about Oda outside of of the impact he had on Dazai. I adore Oda and Dazais story but Oda is really cool regardless of that. I almost never see anyone mention his own story and his motives? He's so cool!!

6. Car :3

7. I just kinda say things and hope someone likes me and that has worked out so far.

No but like, when it comes to making friends irl the best advice I can give you is to surround yourself with like-minded people (like join a group with a shared interest or something) and don't be afraid to be bold. I can assure you, most people want friends and will only be relieved if you offer them your friendship yourself. I recently made a friend when we were having a conversation and she complained about how she didn't have many friends and I just said "hey, we can be friends!" And that was that. She happily agreed and we have been friends ever since. 😊 Obviously this just works if the people you talk too are good people but you shouldn't bother trying to make friends with people that aren't. Hope this helps <3

8. I sing and play some piano, music is my everything though so I'm hoping to both get better at piano and maybe pick up guitar again

9. I'm so normal about this show. Uhm...let's see:

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Thoroughly enjoyed. Very well written and has been able to keep me invested for far too long now. The fixation never goes away. Help me, Asagiri is keeping me hostage in this fandom!

This was fun, feel free to send my any other asks in the future <3

[holographicbutch]

Thoughts on across the spiderverse in whatever order my brain comes up w because I need to write it down while it's fresh in my mind:

Starting with things I was wrong about (based on minor spoilers I'd seen beforehand):

1. Thought spot was another spiderman. Was proved wrong instantly. All I knew was that he was a silly little guy and I LOVE that he's a silly little guy but also fucked up with it <3

2. Thought miguel was the main villain. Sort of right, will go into my thoughts on his character later because he's SUCH a good villain

3. Thought hobie would have more screen time, purely based on the amount of fanart and gushing abt him I'd seen. Disappointed he wasn't around as much as I thought he'd be but I still love him and understand the hype

MOVING ON, scenes I really enjoyed:

1. The opening scene (obviously). As a percussionist every time I see gwen on the drums I get so excited. The visuals along with the music made me have to restrain myself from bouncing my legs a lot because I didn't want to shake the chairs of the people next to me lmao

2. The scene where spot explains his connection to miles and actually becomes legitimately threatening/scary. No longer villain of the week!

3. Every scene with gwen and her father. The way the background steadily becomes more abstract the longer they talk is so good. The way it reflects their emotions and also makes them seem more defined in contrast.

4. Miguel's intro. When his theme kicked in I was like oh yeah. This guy is a villain for SURE

5. When they first entered the HQ and all the spidermen were making quippy one-liners. Made me smile real big. Also the sheer amount of individual spider designs they made was incredible.

6. The chase scene in the HQ had me leaning forward with my heart pounding. Just. Everything about it. The music was amazing (as usual)

7. The way they make you think gwen is listening in on miles' conversation with his mom was so clever, made the reveal that he was in the wrong dimension so much more impactful

8. WHEN THE PROWLER THEME KICKS IN. THE PANTIES HIT THE FLOOR

And now the main event - thoughts on miguel because he's incredibly well-written and I'm obsessed with him:

Finding out that spot was the "main" villain surprised me because of my impression of him before I saw the movie, but after watching it I still don't feel like he IS the main villain, because really, there's two. Spot is a villain because his actions drive the plot forward - he's the Bad Guy that the Good Guys need to stop. His reasons for hating miles are understandable (if misplaced. It's not like miles hurt him on purpose), but ultimately, the viewers aren't supposed to sympathize with his cause. His actions are clearly Wrong, and the heroes' attempts to stop him are clearly Right. While his actions upset miles and the rest of the spidermen (who wouldn't be upset by someone threatening to kill their loved ones?), they don't present any moral conflict, or provide character growth for the heroes.

That's where miguel comes in. He doesn't give a lot away from his first introduction - he's more stiff and serious than other spidermen, but the way he fights with gwen and jessica shows that he's used to working with a team, and is ultimately willing to let gwen join them. When he sees her argument with her father, he sees a like-minded individual - someone who's willing to do what they think is right, even when it's not easy.

When he meets miles, we've already seen glimpses of his life with his daughter - but it seems like typical Spiderman Tragic Backstory. The longer he talks with miles, the more he loosens up (his quip about how their official name for the spider-verse is also kind of dumb stuck out to me the most). He becomes more complex and relatable, easier to like when he's not acting like batman. It's easier to understand why so many spidermen across multiple universes follow him, and why gwen and peter listened to him and hid the truth from miles.

He truly and completely believes that what he's doing is the right thing, and that alone makes him feel more like the "main" villain than spot. When he tells miles that saving the captain was the wrong choice, because it means that that universe will start to fall apart, it's both shocking and understandable, to a degree. It's a classic use of the trolley problem: allowing one person to die when you can save them seems extreme, but when you let someone die in order to save an entire world, it's the right thing to do... right?

THIS is the main conflict within the story - not what the heroes should do to stop spot, although that's still important - but whether allowing someone to die is the right thing to do (and by extension, if it's what spiderman would do). Because miles is the main character, it's clear to the audience that miguel is wrong, but the other spidermen don't know they're in miles' story. And generally in media, the option to sacrifice one person to save many is shown as the correct option, or the heroic option. Believing that their loved ones HAD to die, and the idea that nothing they did would be able to stop their deaths from happening, makes it easier for all of them to cope. When miles stands up to miguel, it's clear why the rest of the spidermen would try and stop him.

Miguel's belief that certain people have to die in order to maintain balance, the reveal that miles wasn't supposed to be bitten, and the fact that he turned miles' friends against him is what drives miles' character development. Miles' actions in response drive the development of the rest of the cast - from main characters like gwen and peter, to the spiderwoman who allowed miles to escape. Suddenly, they're found questioning whether what they're doing is right.

But miguel unshakably believes in his cause, and is willing to do whatever it takes for the Greater Good. Which, to me, is the hallmark of a compelling villain. He's angry at himself for inadvertently destroying a universe. He grieves the loss of his daughter and his chance at a happy life. And he projects this onto everyone around him. To him, everyone is as likely to make the same mistakes as him, because they weren't calculated decisions. They were simply the actions of a man who just wanted to live a good life with the people he loved. And if he couldn't have that, why would the universe make an exception for someone else? Why would it be kind to miles, who wasn't supposed to be bitten, but was still able to exist in his universe without consequences? It isn't Fair.

The reveal that the other miles became prowler adds an extra layer to miguel and miles' dynamic: miguel took the place of the other spiderman because in his universe, his family was alive. From what we see of prowler miles at the end of the movie, he feels the same. His uncle may be alive, but his father is dead. (Cue the "we're not so different after all" speech.)

To summarize: miguel provides the bulk of the moral conflict to the story, is a relatable and compelling character, and this is why he feels like the "main" villain, despite all of spot's hard work to not be Villain of the Week.

Also, rip to noir and pig john mulaney for getting like two seconds of screen time

[pesterloglog]

Roxy Lalonde, John Egbert, Harry Anderson Egbert

Candy, page 38

ROXY: sup john

ROXY: long time no see

ROXY: well alright then pal

ROXY: i do believe u know the way to the living room

JOHN: yeah, yep.

JOHN: thanks.

JOHN: sorry for staring like an idiot.

JOHN: it’s...

JOHN: i just got done with a whole week of feeling weird about hanging out in my dad’s old house again.

JOHN: I kind of forgot to think about how it would be surreal coming back here, too.

JOHN: some kind of nostalgia whiplash, i guess.

ROXY: fair enough yo

ROXY: harry andersons out if u were wonderin

ROXY: hell scoot back home later so if you make it thru round 1 of awkward ex-family convos im happy to say you can be rewarded with another

JOHN: oh, cool.

JOHN: i’d like to see him, if…

JOHN: if it’s okay with both of you.

ROXY: ya we chatted bout it

ROXY: but like i said

ROXY: one thing at a time

ROXY: lets me n u tear this ol egbert/lalonde estrangement band-aid right the fuck off n see what we got goin on underneath it

JOHN: sounds like a plan.

JOHN: so, uh.

JOHN: i’ve been doing a lot of thinking recently.

JOHN: and i’ve realized some things.

JOHN: some stuff that involves you and some that doesn’t, but all things i think you deserve to know.

JOHN: whew.

JOHN: ok lemme think where to start...

JOHN: you know how jake left jane?

JOHN: i mean, i assume you know.

JOHN: though, uh, no offense, but jane’s version might be...

JOHN: skewed.

ROXY: oh lmao nah i didnt hear it from janey

ROXY: harry anderson filled me in on wat he got thru the teen grapevine

JOHN: oh!

JOHN: are you guys not...

JOHN: nevermind.

JOHN: i’m sorry, i came to apologize for my shit, not pry into your business.

JOHN: we don’t have to talk about jane if you don’t want to.

ROXY: janey n me havent been super tight of late

JOHN: ah.

JOHN: what about politics not coming between friends and all that?

ROXY: lmao well turns out sometimes someones politics make it p clear what kind of friends they value

ROXY: or dont

ROXY: and idk sometimes people you used to like when you were a teen grow up to be assholes or w/e!!

ROXY: i think i was clingin to somethin just to prove to myself that i was doin stuff right

ROXY: ol rolal

ROXY: hella normal

ROXY: v good at sticking with friends

ROXY: the more i thought abt it the more i figured holdin on to that one thing made me lose out on some other shit

ROXY: u might relate

JOHN: haha, you got me there i guess.

ROXY: anyways

ROXY: im not tryna take up all ur big speech time w/ my stuff

ROXY: you were tellin me about how jake n janey finally went splitsways and how it gave you some kind of epiphany

JOHN: no, it’s cool!

JOHN: i’m glad to hear it.

JOHN: we can come back to your shit after my shit, maybe.

JOHN: but yeah, jake, he uh...

JOHN: he and tavros are living with me now.

JOHN: i think for the foreseeable future. we were expecting jane to have kind of a fit about it, but all we’ve gotten so far are some divorce papers.

JOHN: if she knows where jake is and she hasn’t had a drone fleet dispatched to nuke my house off the planet i think that’s a good sign she’s actually just letting them go?

JOHN: which is kind of surprising, but, uh. good, i guess.

ROXY: ok ill b the first 2 admit that janes turned into kind of a jerk lately but u no shes not actually like

ROXY: literally evil

ROXY: lol

JOHN: that’s debatable!

ROXY: sry to disappoint but janes just a person and you cant actually blame her for everything that went wrong in our marriage like i was her helpless thrall or somethin

JOHN: that’s not what i was saying...

ROXY: ok neither of us came here to argue about janey did we

JOHN: you’re right. let’s just not talk about her.

ROXY: yea

JOHN: anyway...

JOHN: i’ve been doing a lot of thinking about how things got to be like they are.

JOHN: i guess i’ll just come out and say it.

JOHN: i completed fucked up your entire life.

JOHN: i’m not going to pretend like there are two sides here. it’s my bad, totally.

JOHN: like, not just what happened to our marriage, though it’s also true that that’s completely my fault.

JOHN: but even before that...

JOHN: i think i fucked up on just this massive, fundamental level, and it’s what i did—

JOHN: or, well, what i didn’t do—

JOHN: that caused every stupid bullshit thing about the way this world is.

JOHN: none of this was supposed to be this way.

JOHN: honestly, it doesn’t feel right that we got married at all, does it?

JOHN: your life was heading in this whole other direction with callie, and i just...

JOHN: i dunno. i just kind of took that from you.

JOHN: i think i ended up taking a lot of decisions from a lot of people.

JOHN: everything took a backseat to what i wanted.

JOHN: whatever cosmic significance the lives here do or don’t have, all the pointless suffering i’ve created is... inhumane. and—

ROXY: oh nah ill stop u rite there my man

ROXY: im sorry john ilu but this is some hot steamin horseshit

JOHN: what?!

ROXY: its some real jerkoff emoji stuff is all im sayin!!

ROXY: you think you choice mattered so much that no one elses could measure up?

ROXY: n then what

ROXY: did u get what u wanted?

ROXY: did your life end and the points got tallied and you came out on top or like what?

ROXY: still p much seems like were movin to me

ROXY: and you sure dont seem like ur winnin so wheres all this good shit you got that you gotta go around handin out apologies for?

ROXY: also damn dude while were at it!!

ROXY: u forgot to actually say sorry in that apology!

JOHN: no, i didn’t — i just meant...

JOHN: i’m sorry for fucking up your life, or making it not—

ROXY: i like my life!!!

ROXY: i mean it aint perf and i got my share of fuckups n mistakes in there but you dont get to tell me its fucked up

ROXY: or that it isnt real or somethin

ROXY: its mine!

ROXY: i mean i felt... somethin i guess

ROXY: but its not just you

ROXY: youve never been the only player in this game u kno

ROXY: do u not remember who all was there when this all kicked off?

ROXY: me n callie wouldna told u u had a choice if it was all just some meaningless bs

ROXY: its not like i was ever some master seer of all that ever was or will be but i do know a lil bit abt what coulda gone down if things were different

ROXY: and u know what

ROXY: i like the way things turned out just fuckin fine

ROXY: so maybe u could stop wastin precious eternity thinkin ur so special that its ur fault everyones not perfectly happy

JOHN: i just kept wanting to find ways to make everything make sense, you know?

JOHN: but maybe it just fucking doesn’t.

ROXY: i know we became grownups in a world built specifically n cosmically for us

ROXY: so i get wanting to find a pattern in everything

ROXY: but not everything has 2 b that deep

ROXY: n when u think abt it

ROXY: lookin at it that way, like evrythin has to be this elaborately purposeful heroic design to be worthwhile

ROXY: is actually p shallow

JOHN: oh.

JOHN: yeah, i guess.

JOHN: i’m sorry. it’s just so hard to not feel like a total asshole.

JOHN: maybe i’m not some grand vizier of destroying time and space or whatever.

JOHN: but we KNOW that there’s a canon timeline out there.

JOHN: and it seems really obvious to me that we aren’t in it anymore.

ROXY: so what

JOHN: “so what”???

ROXY: yea

ROXY: so what

ROXY: tf do i care that theres some other reality out there some1 arbitrarily decided was the “real” one

ROXY: whats that have to do with the life i have now

ROXY: what is there actually that makes this one mean less than that one to the ppl who r actually in it

JOHN: you never feel like it would’ve been better if things had gone a different way?

JOHN: magic or no, i could have done a lot differently, for you especially.

JOHN: stuck around, or... fuck.

JOHN: stayed out of your way to begin with.

JOHN: let you and callie do your thing, or do whatever it was you seemed to be headed off to do.

JOHN: i just didn’t expect it to be me, after...

ROXY: nah dont say that

ROXY: i mean i accept ur apology this time but

ROXY: theres obvs all kinds of ways shit coulda gone

ROXY: and tbh back then

ROXY: with her...

ROXY: mostly i think i just wanted to do stuff right

ROXY: not that i knew wtf that even meant lmao

ROXY: which was prob the problem lmao lmao lmao

ROXY: just like

ROXY: we had this big fresh as hell start at bein people!

ROXY: i had all these conflictin thoughts abt how to be me in the first place

ROXY: like what it meant to date a beautiful skull alien

ROXY: sexualitywise and genderwise and person in generalwise

ROXY: for a while there i didnt know if i wanted ppl to think of me as a woman at all

JOHN: ah, i didn’t know.

JOHN: well, i guess maybe i wondered?

JOHN: but the way young idiot me would have wondered, so not that deeply.

JOHN: and it seemed like you’d forgotten all about it when we got together.

ROXY: i hadnt forgotten about it

JOHN: do you want to talk about it...?

ROXY: i coulda told you then but i kinda felt embarrassed abt flip floppin with my identity i think

ROXY: mean it isnt like i grew up with big airquotes society tellin me what was right n wrong like u did

ROXY: so it wasnt any kind of shamefest

ROXY: just a lot of abstract hypotheticals wed only just started talking about and never got very far into

ROXY: just idk i thought i might do things one way but then i stopped hangin out with callie as much

ROXY: its not like i stopped thinkin abt it

ROXY: or her

ROXY: but it never rly came up with anyone else and i didnt rly feel like i could talk abt it with you so i never brought it up again

JOHN: i’m really sorry you felt that way, roxy.

ROXY: its ok its not ur fault

JOHN: but you don’t regret it?

JOHN: not going for that stuff, and instead just... marrying me?

JOHN: i’m not asking so you can absolve me, i’m just impressed.

JOHN: how do you not second guess every choice you make?

ROXY: i havent stuck my head in the timeline vortex like u have so i dunno what its like to see other options

ROXY: i just do things the best way i think to do em and then shrug n hope it works out?

ROXY: i dont think i can regret anything

ROXY: theres not only one right way to be me imo

ROXY: i like the me i am

ROXY: its not like i went n decided “actually hell ya love to be a woman n do all the shit on the woman checklist”

ROXY: i get that thats prob what it looks like outside of my own self but i dont care abt that

ROXY: sorry lol im not good at this whole explainin what transpires in my brain thing

ROXY: idk this life ive been livin gave me harry anderson

ROXY: that kinda outweighs anything else just for me personally

ROXY: n its not like i ever totally quit thinkin abt that gender stuff

ROXY: i just found a different way to work it out than maybe i was originally gonna

ROXY: i...

ROXY: but lmao john were just adults

ROXY: were not dead!

ROXY: idk i mean were only what... barely middle aged in regular human years?

ROXY: we got all kinds of hypothetical but still prolly finite eternity to work our shit out

ROXY: who tf knows

ROXY: its not like you figure out who you are when youre 23 and then the rest of ur whole life is just sittin back watchin ur shit fall apart or not

ROXY: i mean maybe thats been it for u so far

JOHN: haha. ouch.

ROXY: i just dont think im anywhere near done buildin those roxy self actualization train stops

ROXY: who the fuck can say how many more i got lined up

ROXY: same goes for u

ROXY: if youre willing to look at this life as more than a cosmically pointless dead end failure that is

JOHN: i guess...

JOHN: there’s literally nothing to do but keep moving forward.

JOHN: i may as well not be a big fucking downer about it if i don’t have to be.

ROXY: thats the spirit

ROXY: weve got a million billion lifetimes ahead of us john

ROXY: u dont even KNOW all the ways u got left to fuck up in!!

ROXY: hows that for some inspiration??!

JOHN: it’s...

JOHN: it’s pretty fucking inspirational, roxy.

JOHN: thank you for trusting me with this personal stuff.

JOHN: i know partly you were telling me all that to kick my sadsack ass, but i know you don’t talk about this kind of thing every day.

ROXY: to be real i hadnt even let myself think abt it every day

ROXY: so thanks for lettin me ramble at u out loud instead of just almost thinkin abt it once every few years

JOHN: i guess sometimes it takes hearing the same shit over and over until it sticks.

JOHN: that’s mostly an own on myself by the way.

ROXY: lmao were just rippin off those bandaids left n right over here

ROXY: a coupla professional issue discussers

JOHN: yeah, i’m frankly baffled by how fucking good we are at this?

JOHN: where was this when we sucked so hard at being married?

ROXY: buried under a shocking number of issues is my guess

JOHN: well, it’s nice to throw a few off, for once.

ROXY: feel free to communicate with me instead of spendin the next 300 years in a silent prison of your own making if u so desire

JOHN: hey harry anderson.

JOHN: it’s really, really good to see you.

JOHN: do you wanna go for a drive?

HARRY ANDERSON: yeah, dad.

HARRY ANDERSON: that could be cool.