#there's a lot of hitting people with paddles

[kradeiz]

@prokopetz once imagined a universe where Batman was a villain and the Joker a hero but everyone else was the same. It got me thinking if Joker took in the Robins, would Batman mould Harley into his sidekick?

If so, she would make a good Talon. (The Earth-3 Robin, not the Court of Owls guy.)

Made for me by the ever-awesome pepedraws.

[s-4pphics]

click! 1 (e.w.)

SYNOPSIS: you need a roommate, and you love eggplant. [college au]

WORD COUNT: 3.7k

WARNINGS: photographer/roommate!ellie, ocs an artist with a reputation :p, they’re both rude as shit, crack, all ocs are black coded yeeahhh yeah, awkward meetings, slut-shaming, brief cunninglingus, mention of eviction, smut later yall know tha vibes 

two. three. four.

A/N: short part just stay w me lemme cook... excited 2 write this lets get this shit yall

“W-What do you mean you’re moving?” 

Your roommate and best friend wrapped her arms around your neck, pulling you close. Tears flooded in your eyes as she whispered the daunting news, your heart cracking in your chest. 

“I’m moving soon, stink.” Too soon, according to her. She’ll be gone by next week. Amaya snickered sadly as she cooed in your temple. “It's for good reason, though.”

Your ears perk, a curious hum vibrating her shoulder. 

“I got that internship— “

All sadness melds into excitement for your favorite person. You leap into her arms with squeals of congratulatory joy, planting smacking kisses all over her squishy cheek. 

“Oh my god! You should’ve said that first, bitch! What the fuck!” You wipe your tears on her hoodie. 

Her laughter rattles through your neck, “I just found out after class! I almost got hit by a fucking bus reading the email.” 

Amaya sets you down, rambles about her new position as a songwriting intern spilling from her like an overfilled glass. Tears of joy flow from you and her as she retells every detail about her acceptance. She’s leaving in a week and a half and going farther than you thought. 

“Girl… you’re really moving to New York?” 

“Only for like… four months, max. But yeah… Boutta be on BET come next year— “

“Maya.” 

“Hm?”

“… I can’t pay rent by myself,” you whisper, cringing and embarrassed. 

You hate to ruin her moment, but you’re concerned; Living off campus isn’t cheap and moving in the middle of the semester is less than ideal. It’d be a fucking hassle, and — to be frank — you’re not a people person. 

People like having you around because you’re fun, sure. But your reputation isn’t what you hoped for it to be when you moved out of your dad’s place for school. You wanted to be recognized for your creativity, and while your professors never hesitated to praise your talents, your peers failed to see past the status that was placed upon you. 

Frankly, you’re deemed as a dumb whore, especially after your falling out with one of the campuses best softball pitchers. 

It wasn’t even your fault. One raunchy snap to the wrong person and people think you live for sex and sex only! Just when you think everyone is over slut-shaming… 

“You thought I was gonna leave you to fend for yourself? Guess what I did.” 

Oh God. “What?” 

She twiddles her fingers together villainously, “I may or may not have set up an application on the student homepage— “

The small glimmer of hope washes away, shoulders dropping, fingers coming up to massage your temples.  

“Maya…” You exhale, trying to keep calm, “You know those things don’t fucking work!” 

Roommate compatibility is a fucking scam. No one ever notes how they actually are in the application. You think you’ve found someone that’s clean, quiet, stays out of your space without permission and the next day you find dead roaches under your couch. College attendees have no idea what bleach is and it makes you sick. 

“Damn… you’re usually optimistic.” 

“I’m optimistic about good ideas. I’m gonna be living with a fucking freak from Craigslist, thanks a lot.” 

“C’mooon! You’ll be fine, babe, trust me.” Amaya wraps her arms around your neck once more, wetly smacking your cheek before turning to paddle to her room. “Plus, you’ll meet someone new!”

When you don't follow, she spins. She must’ve noticed your impassiveness, poutingly asking to help me pack? Tears overwhelm your ducts once more, quietly taking her extended hand as she leads you to her bedroom. 

DAY ONE of roommate searching began, and you were already prepared to move back in with your dad. Amaya had enough time to orchestrate the housing agreement with you, making sure to highlight some of your most important characteristics in a roommate. One of the main ones being cleanliness. Some form of organization. 

DAY TWO was easier… Someone finally made it to the in-person interview stage. They didn’t make it far, though; They wouldn’t stop smacking their gum and it drove you crazy. Back to square one. 

DAY SIX came around and you were losing hope; Why are frat boys applying to live with you? You’d rather jump into oncoming traffic than house with any of Abby’s annoying, dirty friends. You've seen their house on numerous occasions and it never fails to make your skin crawl. 

It’s DAY THIRTEEN, and Amaya’s gone. After the sobbing fit with your best friend at the airport earlier, you got back to work. 

DENY REQUEST. 

…

DENY REQUEST. 

…

DENY REQUEST. 

You sigh in exhaustion and lean back in your chair. If you don't take a break from your screen in the next five seconds, your eyes will bleed. 

Why are people… so odd? 

The number of applications you’ve had to deny in the last week is criminal; Why are cis-het men continuously filling out applications knowing they’re not welcome in your space?! 

Even the people that made it to the in-person interview stage are incapable of being… not strange. You’d rather die than live with someone who collects dead maggots in mason jars (yes, you did almost call the police when they described their fascination with death in depth)!

All you need is one fruitful application with an identity to match! Just one. 

Amaya still calls from New York whenever she has a moment of peace to see how the roomie-search is going, but you can’t ignore the sadness that fills your heart every time she misses a call. Her laughter is gone, and your day-to-day life feels empty. 

They’re already working your bestie to the bone; You hope she can feel your encouragement from thousands of miles away. 

You scroll and click, scroll and click, scroll and deny deny deny until you pause, your eyes skimming over the application with a familiar name. 

ELLIE WILLIAMS. 

Ellie from stats, you instantly recognize. Curiosity perks and your brows furrow, sipping lukewarm tea as you skim over her contact information, her pet preferences, all the way down to her additional commentary. A snicker left at her blunt statement. 

temporary request. my last roommate moved and i’m poor. just waiting on this job approval. 

… Ellie in a nutshell. How relatable.

At least she’s not a complete stranger. Every interaction with her stirs in your mind as you jot her number down on a lone sticky-note. They were nothing special from your perspective: the two of you exchanging notes, her holding the door open as everyone scurried out of class, you asking for a pencil (and her asking for it back after the lecture), and you can’t help but wonder why she would want to apply to share a space with anyone, let alone you. 

She's only ever been described as standoffish by your peers. From the outside, Ellie’s blank. Flat tone, flat expression, plain appearance, and the fact that you never know what she’s thinking is unsettling. You’re thrown off your game whenever she’s near and you hate it. 

But the spot is temporary; Amaya will be back in a couple of months, and it seems Ellie’s leaving sometime soon by her small note. 

You down the rest of your tea and stretch where you sit, pondering. Trying to imagine Ellie in your space.

“I don’t know why I can’t take Maya’s spot. I’d make an excellent roommate.” 

Your expression flattens, glare piercing through your good friend. 

Abby scoffs, “C’mooon! I mind my business...” She pauses, leaning across the table, nearly knocking your coffee over. Her whispers send a shock down your spine, “…and I give good head. I’m a package deal.” 

A brow raises. Abby’s sweeter than candy and she puts it down, but you already made the mistake of living with someone you fucked before, and you vowed to never do it again. If Amaya hadn’t given you a place to stay after the blow up between you and your ball-throwing sneaky link, you’re not sure where you'd be. Definitely not a student; The stress would’ve forced you to collapse. And drop out. 

“Sorry, stink. Not happening.” 

She rolls her eyes, “Whatever.” She takes a sip from her drink, “Can’t believe you’d let that freak in before me.” 

You pause. “You’re a freak, too— “

“I’m the good kind!” She searches like someone’s watching her, voice dropping to a whisper, “Ellie’s fucking weird, dude. When’s the last time you’ve seen her interact with anyone? A literal fucking NPC. All she’s programmed to do is stand and look.” 

“And give out pencils,” You interject with a snicker, “Who cares. I don’t like most of the idiots here, either. I barely put up with your ass.” 

Abby raises her glove-covered palms in surrender, “Fuck it. When I see an alert about a missing student, I’ll know who it is.” 

“You’re so fucking extra— “

DING!

Your neck cranes towards the opening cafe door, shock surging through your body at the sight of the NPC in question. Ellie silently stands at the back of the line, headphones secured on her head and nose red from the cold, classically bored expression plastered on her face. 

“Oh, this is hilarious,” Abby huffs, “Go greet your new housemate.” 

Another glare is sent in her direction, “Can you shut up? Her name’s not on any lease. I barely talked to her.”  

“Do it now, then. Triple dog dare you.” Abby smirks behind her cup. 

You sigh and raise from your seat, “You’re a cunt.” 

“The wettest. Go.” 

You flick her forehead before making your way over to Ellie, who’s mindlessly scrolling through her phone. Her sniffles get louder with each step you take, metal music blasting through her speakers. 

You tap her shoulder and she jumps, sliding one of her ear cups over to hear. 

“Hey, Ellie,” you smile politely. 

“… Sup,” she mutters hoarsely, turning her body towards you, eyes filled with… nothing. Expected. 

Silence passes, and you fill it, “I got your app yesterday. Just wanted to come and introduce myself.” 

“Alright.” 

More silence. You can see Abby out the corner of your eye, mockingly swiping her tongue between her index and middle finger. You flush and stutter, and Ellie’s staring like you have two heads. 

“I, uh… yeah. I’ve been having interviews with some people that submitted a form. You free sometime this week?” 

“Uhh…” She glances down at her phone. “Yeah. Around five tomorrow.” 

More silence. Fuck, this is awkward. 

“… Cool.” You pull your phone out and text her saved number, the alarm ringing from her phone. “That’s me. Just call before you stop by.” 

She nods and turns her back to you, cranking her music to full volume. You gawkily shuffle where you stand before hustling back to your table, Abby cackling to herself. You plop down and kick her under the table, but she laughs harder. 

“What’d I say!” 

“Not a thing,” You hiss, “She’s just a little awkward. It’s not that serious.” 

“Oh, yeah.” 

“Oh yeah what.” 

“She’s definitely your fucking housemate.” She tsks in disappointment before a smirk appears, her eyes darkening. “Can I eat it one last time before she moves in?” 

A jolt surges in your tummy, your hand closing into a fist. You kick her again and she giggles. 

Time passes as you and Abby’s conversation carries on like normal. Another ding rings through the coffee shop after some time, and you watch Ellie’s backpack bounce as she rushes down the sidewalk; Abby’s rambles about a soccer player she’s trying to smash sound like gibberish. 

Ellie has a Spider-Man charm and laminated polaroid latched onto her zipper. 

… Cute. 

You’re going to fail statistics over a random.

Your professor’s voice sounds like white noise; Every pause she takes is used as an opportunity to sneak glances at Ellie. None of your notes are useful; The doodles and sloppy scribbles are solidifying that incoming F, for sure. Only fifteen minutes until you’re out of here. 

She’s two seats down from you, jotting down whatever she deems necessary for the midterm. You didn’t even register her answering the professor’s question, her rosy lips curving around her teeth with each syllable. 

Ellie blinks slowly, twice, three times before her eyes lock with yours, brows furrowed, evidently confused at your gawking. 

Your stomach drops with your gaze, fingers curled tightly around your pencil. 

The lecture finally comes to a close as your thoughts flurry, wordlessly shoving your books into your bag. A light tap on your shoulder yanks your attention. 

Ellie stands before you, puffer cinched under the bands of her backpack and cheeks just as rosy as before. 

“Hey. Can we switch the time?” 

“Huh?” Don’t stare, don’t stare. 

She sighs, “The time for the interview. Can we change it?” 

You blink dumbly, “Uh… sure. To what time?” 

Agitation creases her brows. “Now. Something came up and I can’t miss it.” She pauses, eyes flicking awkwardly around the room, weakly adding, “If that’s okay.” 

“Um… yeah, no problem…” You peer at the clock on the wall, “You want a coffee?” 

A slight wince from her. “… Yup.” 

She clearly doesn’t by the way her fingers are anxiously tapping on her thigh, but you nod nonetheless, hurriedly grabbing your belongings and leading her down to the student lounge. 

“I don’t want you thinking this interview is one-sided,” You pray your gentle smile is calming the evident nerves of the freckled girl. “You can ask me anything you want, as well. If you have any concerns, any questions, shoot.” 

Ellie’s eyes are glued to her coffee cup, but her head bobs, expression void. Silence simmers between you. 

“I usually start these off with an icebreaker to get the jitters out! Just list three facts about yourself and I’ll follow.” 

Ellie’s lone hand comes up to scratch underneath her ear before meeting your gaze. Her eyes are so pretty; Too bad there’s nothing behind them. 

“Or I can go, sure, so!” Your hands clap together, “I’ll start with myself. I’m majoring in graphic design, I’m secretly a theater nerd, and I dream about owning an eggplant farm.” 

The girl before you clearly didn't expect that last statement. Her brows crease and the corner of her lip arches upward in a barely-there smile. Foreign to her face. 

“That’s not a fact,” She mutters, the shell in her pupils cracking. Just slightly. 

“Who cares, I love eggplant. Best vegetable by a landslide.” 

“Sike.” 

You scoff in disbelief, “What?” 

“Everybody on the planet knows that squash is god-tier— “

You squint, “Squash? Are you deadass?”

“It’s fucking versatile!” Ellie’s voice pitches higher, and your grin widens, “You can put it in everything and you don’t have to do much. Eggplant sucks up everything in the pan and still comes out soggy and tasteless— “

Choked laughter leaves your mouth, “If you don’t know how to cook, just say that.” 

Her mouth drops in exaggerated shock. “I know how to fuckin’ cook.” 

“Right.” 

“I do, what the he— “

“Fun fact about Ellie: she can’t cook!” You kiddingly sneer. She chuckles and shakes her head, tongue poking the inside of her cheek. You almost miss her statement, “I take pictures.” 

“Hm?” 

“I wanna be a professional photographer... At some point. I take pic— “

Ellie’s phone vibrates on the table and she leaps into action, snatching her bag from beside her and standing from her seat. 

“Wait— “

“I gotta go,” She mutters as she straps her bag around her shoulders. “Sorry. See you later.” 

Ellie throws some bills on the table before dipping, her phone pressed against her ear, rambling about making time. She barely touched her coffee. 

Could’ve been worse, you utter to yourself. 

Days pass, and you don’t hear from Ellie. 

When you saw her in stats two days after the interview, she hardly acknowledged you, morphing into the hermit that you knew her to be. You noted how tired she looked, though. You would’ve asked if she were okay if she hadn’t run out of class without a word. 

You’re weighing your options: allowing a random oddball into your apartment, or allowing a random oddball who hates eggplant into your apartment. Rent is due next week, and Amaya’s space is still vacant. 

At this point, the roster is almost nonexistent, and Ellie was the least concerning candidate. Despite Abby’s concern, she doesn’t seem like the type of person to bury dead bodies in the front lawn. 

“I dunno, friend. She’s a little weird. Getting mad incel vibes from her.” 

Your eyes roll back into your skull as you munch on cashews, “You’re getting vibes from someone you never talked to. She seemed cool at the interview.” 

“Yeah, 'cause vegetable debates are so note-worthy,” Amaya scoffs. 

She’s starting to sound a little too much like Abby, “I think y’all are forgetting that this is a temporary solution. I’m not tryna spend the rest of my fucking life with her! I need rent paid and she needs a place to stay for a few months.” 

Your best friend’s sigh drags through the line, “Alright… It seems like you made up your mind.” 

“Like I said, rent is due. I don’t have many options.” 

“Stop stressing. You found my replacement, apparently.” 

She pauses before hollering, “BITCH, IT’S SATURDAY! WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU INSIDE? WHERE’S ABBY?” 

“Out smashing soccer players.” You huff. 

“Damn… My fault.” 

“I’m chilling. I just need head.” 

“Go out! Find somebody!” 

You groan, “Then I’ll have to shave— “

“Nair exists, you bonehead! Just go! You keep calling in a bad mood and it’s getting on my nerves!” 

You ponder and glance at your digital clock. It’s not even ten… Abby did tell you that Kappa was throwing.

“I can hear the engines turning in your big head. Bye.” 

Laughter explodes from you at the dial tone. 

“Hey, Siri… call Abby.” 

“CALLING ABBY BIG DICK SLUT— “

Tonight has been a blur since you left your apartment. 

You remember making it halfway through Blam Boom before your speaker died, downing your last couple of shots of 1800, and Ubering to the location Abby pinged. 

It only took a few minutes for her to scoop you up onto the packed kitchen counter and shove her tongue in your mouth. One shout of I’m horny from you and she was yours for the rest of the night. 

Now you’re pressed up against some bathroom sink upstairs, Abby’s head shaking between your legs, your jeans and underwear flung onto the shower rail. Each flick of her tongue is both clumsy and precise, applying pressure exactly where you need it. 

Your clit’s throbbing under her tongue, the muscle igniting the flame in your tummy as your climax builds, zaps in your spine. Cries of her name meld with the booming music from outside, the walls rattling like nerves in your toes. 

Abby’s gorgeous under you, you know it, the drunk part of your brain knows it, your desperate cunt knows it, but you’re no longer thinking about her compared to earlier. Your mind is elsewhere, somewhere it shouldn’t be. 

You’re thinking of freckles. Green eyes instead of blue. Chapped, rosy lips, and you don’t know why. But you succumb to it. Ellie’s trapped underneath your eyelids, crowding your senses, your empty head suddenly full of images of her in any way you could conjure. 

Your orgasm shatters you, but you’re silent, trembling hand glued over your mouth as Abby groans in your cunt. She’s a doll, easing you back down to earth, dragging your underwear and pants up your shaky legs and getting you back home safely. 

When you’re showered and your teeth are brushed, she tucks you in, gently kissing your forehead. You beg her to stay with you, but she declines with I know how you get before silently departing. 

Your phone is squeezed between your fingers after minutes of trying to sleep, eyeing Ellie’s saved contact until darkness overtakes you. 

The pounding on your door is worse than the ones from inside your skull. Fuck Tequila, from the bottom of your heart. Waves of nausea crash over you with every waddle, hobbling your hunched form over to yank the front door open. 

A bored Ellie stands in front of you, a large camera and headphones hanging from her neck, seemingly cozy in her sweater and puffer, large duffel bags packed to the brim with clothes dangling from her shoulders. Your cheeks warm instantly. Gray sweats, gray sweats—

“I’m here,” She states plainly. 

“… Why?” You croak.

Ellie’s seems just as confused as you, her eyes piercing as if her appearance is obvious. 

“To move in.” 

“… Why?”

Ellie sighs and snags her phone from her jacket pocket, swiping a few times before nearly blinding you with her screen. 

Your jaw nearly hits the floor. When the fuck did you send that? 

“So, I’m here,” she slips her device back in her pocket. “Which room am I in?” 

“E-Ellie, uh… there's been a mis— “

“Look,” she holds her pale, veiny hands up. “I don’t wanna beat around the bush anymore. I got evicted and I need a place to stay until I secure this job. I’m willing to put down whatever’s needed for rent but I don’t have time to bullshit.” 

Ellie proceeds, sarcasm slipping, “Respectfully.” 

She pushes past your stunned form, bags accidentally brushing against your bare legs. You can't even move to stop her; You merely watch Ellie shuffle to inspect the living room, the small kitchen, pausing in front of the abstract painting you made for your dad before eventually moving down the hall and into Amaya’s empty space. How the fuck did she get in the building, anyway?

Your deer-like eyes lock with her void, mossy ones as she peers over her shoulder. 

“I still have some stuff to pick up. Please leave my key under the mat if you go somewhere.” 

Before she enters the empty room next to yours, you hear her gruffly say, “Leave the lease on the table so I can sign it, too.”

Amaya’s — Ellie’s door slams shut seconds later, the soft click of the door locking follows suit. 

…

What the fuck just happened. Gall almost surpasses your anger. The audacity...

For the first time, you’re grateful that your shift is in two hours. You need to get the fuck out of here before you cause a scene and catch a case. 

tagggiiiesss missed yall ;3 : @starologist @hrtmal @ohlawdthebirds @villainousbear @timmy-27 @inf3ct3dd @aouiaa @shurisbigtoe @emothurman @lonelyfooryouonly @imelliesgf @baumbii @brackishkittie @littletinyladybugs @r1miese @horror-whoree @elsbunny222 @elliesatchel @makemescreamel @lav3nd3rhaze @elliezflower @ellieloml @ellies-princess @saverdelrey @womenofarcane

[simpjaes]

https://www.tumblr.com/mintmatcha/752094001959665664/whats-your-faves-secret-kink

👀 if you ever wanna elaborate i’m all ears but no pressure my queen 😘

-🐯

LINK: what's your faves secret kink? NOTE: so, for the sake of this idea, let's ignore the more vanilla stuff such as: choking, dirty talk, spanking, etc. i wanna throw around some harder kinks. reminder that this is just what //i// would only hope for jay and jake in particular. MDNI

Jay ―

i'd love to say he'd probably have a knife or blood kink but I highly doubt my dreams would come true regarding that. I do, however, think he's the type to have the biggest breeding kink out of the entirety of any of my biases. i think this because he's def a family man. his breeding kink would come entirely from the need of domesticated sex acts. missionary position and mating press are his fave positions because he knows his cum shoots deep, and he also loves looking into your ears when you listen to his half-moaned out promises of giving you his baby.

cuckholding. it's not that he likes sharing, but he likes you enough to allow just about anything in the bedroom considering he's a service top to the max. to the point you can top him, to the point he'd watch anyone top you as long as you're pleased with the experience. he'd be perfectly fine getting himself off watching, solely because your needs would come before his own. after marriage tho? hotwifing is def his thing, like "hey everyone, come fuck this pussy worse than I can!"

speaking of hotwifing..... this is super similar to cuckolding but it is not the same. this act would come from his immense love and connection to you. He would encourage you sleeping with other men and/or women solely because he's proud to show you off in that regard. Kind of like putting you up on a sex pedestal. In other words, he encourages you to have sex with other people [preferably with him watching]and in a way wants to show other sexual partners that no matter how good they fuck you, he's the one who is yours, and you're the one who is his. like, damn you had all this sexual pleasure and still chose to marry him? what a catch!!!

Jake ―

hahahaha...emotional play/humiliation. which can lead to a lot of different kinks and fetishes that can branch off of this like, degradation, body fluid kinks (spit, blood, piss, cum), voyeurism, exhibitionism, sexual shame, etc) i'm not saying he's always the one who wants to be humiliated either, i just think he'd really get off on awkward embarrassment whether it's him feeling it or you feeling it. even something as small as being with you in public and seeing your tits through the shirt you just spilled a drink on. you're embarrassed, trying to cover yourself, but he sees all the eyes on you. He can see how other people are getting turned on, but he's the one who gets to touch and grope those tits...so...he definitely would. right there in public. he'd probably get off on his own humiliation too though. Sending a dick pic to you by accident before you guys ever started dating? Something about it would turn him on beyond belief solely because you saw it.

along with humiliation, i think he'd be into impact play. again, on equal levels and not just coming from his side. spanking and slapping but not lightly. I mean real impact play. Full force slaps that sting even the one hitting, swollen skin, heat radiating from each area of impact. i think he'd like the sensation both on himself and offering it to another, though it would need to be entirely consenting because I don't think he'd ever want to harm someone he's fucking unless they get turned on by it. it would be more than just with hands too though. Whips, paddles, canes, all sorts of items could be used for it when you're really playing. would probably even get a paddle with your respective names on it. LOVING the swell of his name raising from your skin, probably cumming on instinct when he feels your name raise on his own. (this can also lead into him having a thing for marking, scratching, and/or anything that will leave a reminder of what the two of you do to each other. including body writing...thanks oomf for the thoughts)

last but not least, fr, i could go all day, queening. jake would probably beg for you to sit on his face. no matter what you put in his mouth he's licking it. ass first? yes please. pussy first? hell yeah!!! i genuinely think he would prefer eating if the force is holding him down. he wants to drown in it, wants to be held down, wants to be smothered by it for real. Probably really into the act of you sitting on his face and leaning down to choke him out while you grind on his tongue, even more into it when you lift and hold it just out of reach so he can humiliate himself in the way he cranes his neck, points his tongue out to try and reach it again, only to whimper and beg for you to sit back down and use him like a throne

[kingmaxstatic]

In Defense Of Lanolin, A Post About Perspective, Flaws and Development. (Part 1: The Incidents)

Hey there everyone! It's time for another ✨Max Opinion Moment✨. Out of all of the IDW characters I think Lanolin is the character I've seen get the most hate. I'm not just talking about "I dislike this character" I'm talking I've seen posts where people act like Lanolin killed their family sort of hate.

Today I plan on defending Lanolin as a character! Talking about the main panels that caused this hatred and why I think she's... actually justified in her actions!

DISCLAIMER! This post is not meant to say "You can't DISLIKE Lanolin!". You're allowed to have your opinions of the character!

with all of that out of the way, let's talk sheep! Buckle up! Because this is a long one! (So long I might have to make a part 2)

Case #1: The Paddle Ball Incident

One of the earliest examples (comic timeline wise) was this set of panels! I've seen people actually seethe over these panels. Now I want to explain why I, personally, understand why she's taken the paddle away from her!

Lanolin is talking about important stuff here! Tangle is ACTIVELY interrupting the conversation by playing with the paddle ball in her face. Also, as an autistic person, I personally know how distracting those noises can be!

People also seem to forget that Lanolin, a few pages earlier, looks EXHAUSTED. That is not the face of a sheep that's well rested. Of course she's going to be irritable!

You'd be a bit of a bitch too if you were trying to talk about important stuff and someone was cutting off the conversation by fiddling with something really loud in your face! It's like if you were trying to present a school project you worked all night on and someone started playing a really loud video next to you.

Does this make Tangle a bad person? Of course not! She's energetic and gets bored easily (trust me girl, I get it.) but Lanolin isn't bad for being upset.

Case 2: The Duo Incident

THIS is the main reason a lot of people hate Lanolin as a character. Though in the timeline it's the second panel people will point to as justification for wanting this fictional sheep dead. This is the part of the post where I talk a LOT about perspective and justification.

Get ready for a LOTTTT of panel posting to add context.

SO Let's discuss the main perspective we see, Silver and Whisper's

Silver and Whisper know something is up with Duo, hell Whisper hits the nail right on the head when she instantly assumes Duo to be Mimic! This all happens after Mimic sneakily kicks Silver and Whisper notices.

Another event this happens is when Mimic basically leaves Silver for dead and what does he say after Lanolin asks him where silver is?

"I'm sorry I couldn't save him... the teeth... so big."

From LANOLIN'S PERSPECTIVE, Duo is the new guy, inexperienced and doesn't know how to deal with badniks and this one was HUGE. So from HER pov Duo did his best to save Silver and just simply couldn't. Of course she doesn't know that Duo is Mimic.

So what do Whisper and Silver do after they assume there's a traitor amongst them?

"We're Going Hunting."

Silver and Whisper don't first contact Lanolin or the others, they jump INSTANTLY to murder. The next panel we sees Silver and Whisper in in this arc is them camping in a bush, ready to shoot this Mimic.

Once again, I need to emphasize, they DID NOT discuss this with Tangle or Lanolin. They jumped to murder. This is a rash choice on both of their ends.

I also want to point out that Lanolin acted a lil playful and friendly... before she saw Whisper coming out of the bushes with her wispon.

It doesn't take a rocket scientist to realize what Whisper is implying here. She wants to kill someone. Justified? Yes, Mimic is a horrible person who seems to only know one word, betray. But from Lanolin's perspective Duo is a newbie who's only crime was being inexperienced. She does not know Duo is Mimic.

She even asks "The Shape-Shifter? That's a big accusation. Do you have any proof?" She isn't saying "Whisper, this guy clearly isn't mimic." She's saying "If you have proof he's mimic, show it instead of shooting this person I assume is innocent.".

and Whisper responds "We will soon."

Whisper then walks forward and proceeds to grab Lanolin's arm and move it, if you have a keen eye, you'll notice it was the arm Lanolin was using to protect Duo.

A teammate is walking towards your other seemingly innocent teammate, accusing them of being someone from their past. They're carrying a loaded weapon and move you out of the way. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what would happen next. Someone is going to get shot, someone is going to get killed.

So what do you do?

You knock the person down.

What Lanolin does here is knock Whisper over before she does anything and attempts to reason why her. Before whisper then KICKS her legs, trying to knock her over. Thus starts a fight. I'm not gonna post the full panel because we already got the idea.

But afterwards Jewel asks "Hey let me get this straight, you tried to attack this dude based on an assumption"

And Silver is like "Yeah shit guess I was"

THEN Lanolin steps in like "Hey until you can like. think before you act you should stay away from us, kay?"

OKAY SO, TO EMPHASIZE THIS A THIRD TIME. Silver and Whisper decided to try and kill this guy before discussing with their team. Silver is a powerhouse and a well known powerhouse at that. "Yadda Yadda great power, great responsibility." and all that.

People act like Lanolin is banning Silver from ever being in the diamond cutters ever. But she's saying "FOR NOW you can't be one of us.". Until is a word that changes a LOT here. She's also saying "That's my vote." implying she wants the others' input.

Hell this is even more emphasized when Jewel says Tangle has a say in this! Lanolin is saying "Hey, I think Silver shouldn't be around until he grows more, what do you guys think?".

I do think Lanolin has flaws here, she should've tried to give whisper a bit more benefit of the doubt here, but Whisper shouldn't of ALSO jumped to murder. They're BOTH in the wrong here.

PHEW THAT WAS A LONG ONE.

Case #3: The X-Treme Gear Incident

This is the latest Lanolin panel that I've seen spark debate about her! Let's talk about the Diamond Cutters' roles in this arc!

They're referees! They're even called "The Restoration Refs" in issue 70! Basically, people who oversee the race to make sure everyone is playing fair and safe.

She's not doing this because she hates Sonic (okay maybe she has beef with Sonic), Amy and Tails. She's doing this because it was an active threat to everybody else and themselves!

Hell I want to point out that in the first panel of this case, she's pointing at Sonic. Who she has witnessed first hand clearly having a disregard to the rules and safety.

This then proceeded to almost get one of her teammates hurt.

So Lanolin calling Sonic a "Hazard" Isn't too far off. Do I think Lanolin is being harsh here? Yeah. Hell even the comic points out she's being harsh after the first panel of this case.

People act like she swiveled around to Tails and went "You suck as an inventor" and spit on him. She's calling the gear "faulty" and "hazards". Shes literally doing her job. I need to emphasize this. Is she being rude? Yes. But she's blunt and it's apart of her character. Tangle is gonna be naive, Whisper's gonna be distant, Lanolin is gonna be blunt.

Bonus Case: The Shattered Glass Incident.

Okay so this isn't one that I've seen people hate on Lanolin for but I... have seen the Anti-Lanolin squad be weird over this panel. Being all like "HA!! Not as perfect as she thought!" and "She's finally facing the consequences of her actions!!"

What actions?

Ah yes! Stopping Sonic from endangering more racers!

Lanolin broke the glass, yes. She acted quickly, yes. This wasn't her scheming and being like "Heehee!! Time to put all these people in danger for some reason!!"

Let's call it what it is.

A Mistake.

Something people are allowed to make, something Lanolin is allowed to make. This isn't some sort of "her getting what's coming to her" it's her realizing she fucked up. Let her make mistakes and let them BE mistakes!

But yeah, if you've read this all the way through, thank you! I had a lot of fun making this (despite how exhausted I am of the lanolin hate train). Hopefully I'll actually make that part 2! Because that would be more so me talking about Lanolin's flaws, her role, and her backstory! Things I like to discuss (I do not like being a hater).

[muldj0rd]

I don’t want you like a best friend || Maxiel

Summary: Max is head over heels for Daniel, and efter the Singapore '24, he wants to make Daniel feel better, but is way too nervous to make a move

Warnings: Anal, anal fingering, unprotected sex, cremepie, blow job, not beta read

masterlist || AO3

“Amigo. You okay?” Checo asked Max as he saw him looking off into the distance

“I just feel bad for him” Max mumbled, Checo now noticed Max was staring at Daniel across the paddock

“Of course you do. He’s you’re best friend” Checo hummed, shrugging slightly

I don’t want you like a best friend Max thought as he kept looking at Daniel

“Yeah. He is” Max was utterly in love with Daniel. He thought he was being obvious about it, but apparently not, since nobody had picked up on it. He had told Charles when he was drunk once, but never uttered a word about his feelings after that

“I want to help him- make him feel better some how” Max muttered, his eyes starting to strain as he didn’t want to let Daniel out of his sight, even if it was only to blink

“Get him dinner. Take him to the movies. Play paddle with him” Checo suggested with a slight shrug again “Do something with him that he loves”

Dinner? Sounds like a date. Paddle? Daniel would get sweaty and Max would get horny. Movies it is

Max nodded softly “Thank you”

“No problem” Checo shrugged

After the Singaporean race, and Max knew that Daniel was back in Monaco, he shot him a message, asking him if he wanted to watch a movie in the cinema that he knew Daniel had been talking about going to see himself

Daniel replied with a yes. They found a date and time, Max offering to pay it all, but Daniel refused to let Max pay it all, so they split it

There weren’t a lot of people at the cinema. That was good when Max had ordered tickets for the back row

Max knew, that if he had to make a move, it had to be doing it under the movie, but he didn’t want to disturb Daniel, he seemed so focused on the screen

“You keep staring at me” Daniel whispered, leaning a little closer to Max, his eyes still stuck to the screen

“What? N-no I’m not” Max stuttered, looking away, hoping the darkness around him covered the blush of his cheeks

“If you say so” Daniel hummed, loosely intertwining his fingers with Max’s, making sure he could pull away if he wanted to

Max blushed deeper, crossing his legs, whimpering quietly at the touch

It was incredible what one simple touch from Daniel did to him, even more so when Daniel started rubbing his thumb over the back of Max’s hand

Max was starting to sweat a lot, more than if he had just invited Daniel to play paddle

His heart was beating fast as well, way too fast. A pace that wasn’t healthy, causing him to get light headed as well

“Are you okay, Maxie?” Daniel whispered, putting the back of his hand against Max’s forehead

“‘M fine” Max mumbled, squirming in his seat

“Come on. Let’s get some air” Daniel stood up, pulling Max with him by his hand

“You don’t have to. I know you’ve been wanting to watch this movie” Max whispered, Daniel keeping on pulling him out

“You’re more important” Daniel argued as they got out of the cinema and into cool air hitting them like a brick wall, making Max sigh heavily, leaning against the railing, having let go of Daniel by now

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Daniel put a hand on Max’s back between his shoulder bales, causing Max’s breath to hitch “I can drive you home if you’re getting sick”

“N-no. I-I’m fine” Great. The chance of making a move on Daniel was ruined because he acted like a love-sick teenager

“You don’t look-“ Daniel was cut off when Max pulled him close by his waist, kissing him firmly

Daniel kissed back immediately, holding Max by his hips, pushing him softly back against the railing, caging him in

Daniel pulled away, needing air “See? Fine” Max panted, making Daniel chuckle softly “Just… Very, very much in love” Max mumbled quietly, looking away from Daniel

It gave Daniel the chance to kiss at Max’s neck softly, making Max whimper softly, his hands falling from Daniel’s waist the to railing beside Daniel’s own hands

“Daniel” Max whined quietly

The drive to Daniel’s apartment was a blur, just up until Daniel had Max pinned against the elevator wall, kissing him firmly

“Danny” Max whined, his hands under Daniel’s shirt, digging his nails into his waist

“I can’t make the elevator go faster, Max” Daniel chuckled, kissing down Max’s neck and throat

The elevator doors finally opened on the right floor, Max not hesitating to push Daniel off and pull him out

Max was pressed up against the closed door in no time, but he was quick to turn them around and sinking to the floor, now eye levelled with Daniel’s crotch

“Fuck” Daniel breathed out, one hand on the back of Max’s neck, holding it there softly, the other on his shoulder

He bit his bottom lips softly when Max started unbuckling his belt, zipping his zipper down and undoing the button

Max whimpered softly when he saw the size of Daniel as he pulled his jeans and briefs down just enough

“Come on, baby. You can take it” Daniel encouraged softly, the hand on the back of his neck moving to his jaw, his thumb caressing Max’s skin

Max nodded softly at Daniel’s words, spitting in his hand before slowly stroking Daniel. Loose and softly

“Fuck. Maxie- stop teasing” Daniel moaned softly when Max’s thumb brushed over Daniel’s slit

Max smiled softly before licking a stripe from the base of Daniel’s cock to the tip, circling him once before taking as much of Daniel in his mouth as possible, gaging slightly around him

Daniel didn’t let Max set a pace. His hand was immediately in his short hair, moving his head at his own desired pace

Max held onto the back of Daniel’s thighs tightly, gagging every time Daniel hit the back of his throat, which was pretty often

Tears started gathering in Max’s eyes, causing Daniel to pull him off of his cock, watching as Max gasped for air, and a string of spit connected them

“You okay, darling?” Daniel asked softly, caressing Max’s jaw softly

“Mhm. Let me keep going” Max said, but Daniel pulled him away when he went back to Daniel’s cock “Please” He whimpered

“I wanna come inside you” Max’s body shouldn’t flush red like it did at just those words

“Strip and get on the bed” Daniel said, watching as Max hurried into the bedroom, chuckling slightly at his reaction

Daniel slowly moved to the bedroom, pulling off his shirt once he closed the door behind him, sure enough seeing Max naked as he laid on his back in the middle of the bed

“God, you’re cute when you obey” Daniel chuckle that Max let out as he pushed his jeans and briefs proper down and stepped out of them

He walked around to the night stand, pulling the lube out of the drawer before spreading Max’s legs, sitting on his knees between them

“Bend” Daniel patted Max’s thigh softly, pouring some lube on his fingers, warming it up as Max bend his knees

Daniel circled Max’s hole, smirking softly at the whines and whimpers he let out of his throat

He slowly pushed one finger inside, hearing Max’s small moan which he covered with his hand over his mouth

“No, no. Baby, let me hear you” Daniel hummed, pushing Max’s hand away from his mouth

Max whimpered as Daniel had now intertwined their fingers again, his other hand slowly pumping his finger in and out of Max

Daniel softly pushed in another finger when Max was loose enough, slowly getting him more stretched out

Max moaned louder once Daniel started curling his fingers to hit his prostate. Soft and slow at first

When Max was loose enough, Daniel added a third finger, starting to almost *pound* his finger up into Max’s prostate, getting the younger a moaning mess under him

“Please, Daniel. Please. I’m ready- jus’ fuck me” Max managed to pant out between his moans, holding onto the sheets beneath him, knuckles turning white

Daniel chuckled softly, slowly pulling his fingers out of Max, making him whine at the emptiness

Daniel’s belt became wet with the lube when he unbuckled it, pushing his jeans and briefs to the floor, stepping out of them before getting back onto the bed in between Max’s legs

He poured lube into his palm, stroking himself, getting himself wet with the lube, lining himself up with Max’s hole

Max whined, wrapping his legs around the older man’s hips, pulling him closer, only making him whimper when the head of Daniel’s cock pushed into him

“Fuck” Daniel groaned softly, putting both of his hands on Max’s hips, slowly pushing further inside him

“Danny” Max whined, his nails digging into the Aussie’s biceps, leaving half circle marks in his skin

“Shh. I got you, darlin’. Just need to get you adjusted” Daniel panted heavily, making Max whine at the rejection

“Please” Max put his hands on Daniel’s jaw, pulling him down to kiss him tender. Soft and un-rushed, but it was filled with love

“Fuck- you’re really making it hard for me to not move” Daniel chuckled, leaning back again “But I guess that’s the point” He smiled softly

“Mhm. Yes, it is. Please, Daniel. Please- I need it so-“ He cut himself off with a loud moan when Daniel pulled out and roughly slammed into him

He did this a few times before he sat a fast and rough pace, angling Max’s hips so he could hit his prostate dead on

“Danny! Please-“ Max was a moaning, babbling mess under Daniel, who was groaning and moaning softly

Sweat was coating Max’s body, sweat from Daniel’s curls dripping onto his body as well

In any other setting, it would be disgusting, but the only thing that contained their minds were how close they both were to their orgasms

“Touch yourself for me, Maxie” Daniel moaned softly, his hands fighting around Max’s hips

Max shook his head as best as he could “N-no. I’ll come too fast” He gasped out

“Don’t worry, baby. I’m close too. Touch yourself” His tone became almost demanding

Max could do nothing else but obey. He back arched, hand around his cock, stroking himself, his other hand on Daniel’s bicep

“Fuck, baby. Come for me, love” Max couldn’t hold back anymore, and almost screamed Daniel’s name as he came, his whole body shaking as his hole fluttered around Daniel’s cock

Daniel moaned louder than he had the whole night when he came, his hips stuttering as he kept himself buried inside max as he came

They were both panting heavily as Daniel laid down on top of Max, breathing into his sweaty neck

“I don’t want you like a best friend” Max panted, kissing Daniel’s shoulder softly “I want more”

“Much more” Daniel agreed with a slight chuckle

[willowsnook]

gin and whiskey with lemonade in a cooper mug 😋

carlos sainz x wnba!reader

watch your fucking mouth

-----------------------------------------------------------

People would think your proudest moment this past season was winning Rookie of the Year or leading the league in assists. But for you, it was something much more trivial. Your team had unanimously agreed that you were the most likely to go pro in any other sport you tried.

Some people are just born with it, and you had it. Golf, pickleball, distance running, and even bowling—you had a natural athletic gift. That’s why you loved participating in celebrity charity events, especially getting to hang out with other athletes.

Unfortunately, this passion led to a memorable incident last year at a charity golf tournament. You’d been paired with F1 driver Carlos Sainz, and the two of you were truly a match made in hell. It all started when Carlos questioned if you really wanted to hit off the men's tee instead of the women’s. That pissed you off. The satisfaction of watching your ball sail past his was one of the best feelings in the world—and the tight frown on his face made it even better.

Snide remarks were traded for the rest of the day, leading to a grand finale that went viral. It was the final hole, and you were tied with Carlos, who had already finished at 2 under par. Cameras and fans were everywhere, watching your last shot.

"Take all the time you need, cariño," he called out, smug.

"Watch your fucking mouth," you snapped, locking in and sinking the final putt, one stroke under to win. That moment blew up on TikTok, quickly becoming known as one of your "coldest" moments.

The next time you saw him was at a celebrity softball game. You actually ended up being on the same team which meant that your feud would be fine right? No.

Much to your team's dismay, you and Carlos spent more time trying to one-up each other than actually playing the game. The final straw was him hitting a walk-off home run. You left immediately after, too annoyed to celebrate with the team. There was just something about that man that drove you crazy.

Unfortunately, the feud with Carlos brought in a lot of PR exposure, which led to today. You stood with your arms crossed, glaring at Carlos, who was giving you the same look.

Because F1 had a race in Austin this weekend, your team’s marketing department thought it would be a great content opportunity to partner with Ferrari while they were in town. They’d set up a series of mini-games for you and your teammate Maddy to play against Carlos and Charles Leclerc.

The first game was knockout. After a quick round, it was just you and Carlos left, both sinking shot after shot. You finally missed and panicked, but Carlos missed his next shot too. As you went for a layup, you suddenly felt arms around your waist, lifting you off the ground.

"No way, mi amor," Carlos whispered in your ear, swatting your ball away before sinking his shot. You couldn't help but laugh, actually enjoying yourself.

The next game was chess, where Charles easily wiped the floor with everyone. Finally, the day ended with pickleball, and this was where things got competitive. Carlos was used to playing padel, but he was still dangerous with a pickleball paddle.

The match started intense, neither of you willing to back down. Eventually, Maddy and Charles gave up, leaving the two of you to battle it out. After what felt like forever, you hit a quick shot that left Carlos twisted on the ground. Your victory cheer faltered when you noticed he wasn’t getting up.

Jogging over, you felt a mix of concern and annoyance that the marketing team was more focused on capturing the moment than helping.

"You good?" you asked, stopping next to him.

Carlos groaned. "I think I pulled something in my groin."

Groin injuries were no joke, and you immediately knelt beside him. "Show me where," you demanded, and he smirked.

"Give me your hand, and I’ll show you," he flirted.

"You’re unbelievable," you replied, trying to sound annoyed but failing as a smile tugged at your lips.

"It actually does hurt, though," he added seriously. You called out for an athletic trainer, and when you helped Carlos up, he draped an arm around your shoulder, leaning on you for support.

"I told you that you’d get hurt fighting her," Charles said with a grin, watching you lead Carlos away. Carlos shot him a glare as you smirked.

Later, Carlos lay back on a training table with ice packs on his thighs. You sat on a nearby table, legs swinging as you chatted with the trainer. When she left, Carlos looked over at you.

"You didn’t have to stay this long," he said.

You shrugged. "I can’t have my biggest competition out for the celebrity charity season, can I?"

He chuckled softly, the tension from earlier easing. "Guess not."

You offered a small smile, leaning back on your hands. "Besides, who else would I argue with during these charity events? No one else is as fun to beat."

"Fun?" he said, raising an eyebrow, his tone teasing but with a hint of challenge. "You call this fun?"

You laughed. "As fun as watching you squirm every time I win."

Carlos propped himself up on his elbows, his eyes locking with yours. "You do realize you’ve been driving me insane since the first tournament, right?"

You opened your mouth to reply with a sarcastic retort, but something about the intensity in his gaze stopped you. Your breath caught for a moment, and instead, you said, “Yeah, well, the feeling’s mutual.”

A silence hung between you, but it wasn’t awkward. Something was simmering there—unspoken words and tension that had been hidden beneath all the banter and competitive fire.

Carlos broke the silence, his voice softer this time. "Maybe we should stop fighting, then."

You raised an eyebrow. "And do what instead?"

"Try something new," he suggested, his lips curving into a slow, confident smile. "Something a little less competitive."

Your heart skipped a beat as his meaning became clear. The challenge you saw in his eyes wasn’t about sports anymore—it was something deeper, something that made your pulse race.

"Are you saying you want to stop losing to me?" you quipped, trying to keep things light, though you could feel the shift between you.

Carlos laughed, shaking his head. "I’m saying I want to stop pretending that this... thing between us is just rivalry."

For once, you didn’t have a snappy comeback. You just looked at him, your competitive nature melting into something warmer. Maybe all those charity games, the teasing, the constant push and pull—it was never just about proving who was better. It had always been an excuse to be close to him, to feel that thrill.

You stood up from your seat, stepping closer to Carlos as he sat on the edge of the training table. His eyes followed your every move, the air between you thick with anticipation. You didn’t know where this would go, but you knew one thing for sure—you were done pretending.

"So what’s the plan, then?" you asked, your voice just above a whisper.

Carlos leaned in slightly, his voice low and teasing as always, but with a hint of sincerity. "I’d say it’s about time we call a truce."

You smiled, biting your bottom lip. "A truce, huh?"

He nodded, his gaze softening. "Unless, of course, you’d rather keep fighting."

Without missing a beat, you closed the distance between the two of you, pressing your lips to his. The kiss was brief but enough to send sparks through you. When you pulled away, Carlos grinned, that same cocky smirk he always had when he thought he’d won.

"Don’t think this means I’m going easy on you next time," you said, your voice playful, your heart still racing.

Carlos chuckled, running a hand through his hair. "Wouldn’t dream of it, cariño."

[visionsthatdance]

Support for Western North Carolina

This is the text body of an email from Carolina Jews for Justice, a grassroots organizing group based in Durham, NC. I thought I would share it here.

Monetary Donations = Direct Aid

Please consider making donations to the following mutual aid and support efforts or on-ground organizations, and please share widely:

Day One Relief is mobilizing and a trusted source sending direct aid via plane to hard hit spaces. 

*Monetary and Direct Item Give*

 Donate to Day One Relief

Operation Airdrop

Mutual Aid Disaster Relief

Triangle Mutual Aid (coordinating with Asheville Mutual Aid)

BeLoved Asheville - needs funds and is coordinating volunteers with trucks who can drive supplies to people, out of 32 Old Charlotte Hwy Asheville, NC

Organizing Resilience (benefits Down Home NC, and other rural organizers doing the deep, year-round work, and partaking in community assessment surveys right now)

Items Needed

Water

Life Straws

Chainsaws

Heavy-duty storage totes

Heavy-duty tarps (the blue ones are less good)

Generators

Roofing nails

Baby formula

Non-perishable food

Manual can openers

Coolers

Gatorade

Wire brushes

Trash bags (the heavy ones are sometimes called "contractor bags")

Brooms

Mops

Laundry detergent

Washboards

Batteries, power banks

Mosquito spray

Toilet paper

Dehumidifiers

Box fans

Solar charging items

Diapers, baby wipes

5 gal buckets

Respirators and N-95 cartridges

2x4s

Bleach

Drop-Off Locations

Triangle Area

+ Carrboro, NC: 

Back Alley Bikes

100 Boyd St, Carrboro, NC 27510

Open Tues - Sat. 11am to 6pm

+ Durham, NC:

The Scrap Exchange

2050 Chapel Hill Rd, Durham, NC 27707

10:30am - 6pm Tue-Sun.

Art Post 

718 Iredell, Durham NC 27705

Starting Monday, Sept. 30th

Open Monday-Saturday 12-6pm

Maverick’s Smokehouse and Taproom

900 W Main Street, Durham NC 27701

*on street parking and free parking available in Brightleaf Square Lot*

Sunday 11am-9pm

Monday-Tuesday 11am-2pm

Wednesday-Thursday 11am-9pm

Friday-Saturday 11am-11pm

+ Raleigh, NC: 

RUMAH 

415 Hillsborough St., Raleigh

Drop off during events. See calendar on website raleighmutualaid.info

Triad Area

Taking donations over the next few weeks. Accepted Items include: sports drinks, hydration packs, baby wipes, diapers, baby formula, bug spray, sunscreen, plastic utensils, manual can openers, large trash bags, non-perishable foods, cleaning supplies, plastic sheeting/tarps, toothbrushes and toothpaste, toiletries/sanitation items, pet food, hand sanitizer, sanitizer wipes, feminine hygiene products, heavy-duty work gloves and unworn socks. 

+ Greensboro, NC: 

GetOutdoors Pedal & Paddle

1515 W Gate City Blvd., Greensboro NC

AND: 

241 Summit Avenue

11am - 1pm Tuesday-Friday

+ Lewisville, NC: 

The Coffee Mill 

6275 Shallowford Road, Lewisville, NC

Charlotte Area:

+ Concord, NC:

Drop offs for Operation Airdrop at Walmart Parking Lot

5825 Thunder Rd NW, Concord, NC 28027

[peppermintquartz]

But imagine Tommy is afraid of the ocean. Because of a childhood drowning, maybe. He doesn't even like paddling in the shallows. He tells Buck while he can handle being in a pool, he hates the taste of seawater and that he can't swim well, that he's no good at it, and Buck is like, you flew us to the Gulf of Mexico, what if we had ended up in the water and Tommy was all shrugs like "if the bird went down that badly and i was still strapped in, I probably would have drowned in the chopper"

They talk about this in a party on a yacht (Tommy knows a guy) and someone very drunk overhears Tommy saying he's afraid of the water and thinks it'll be funny to shove the big tall strong guy into the ocean at night while Buck is getting some drinks

And Tommy hits his head on the way down, disorienting him a lot, and he panics, manages to scream for Evan just once before he goes under and is swept away by the current

And Buck hears the scream and sees Tommy's gone and people are laughing as they lean over the railing, just dives into the water off the deck and rescues his boyfriend, dragging him out of the water and back on the yacht, and then proceeds to do CPR on Tommy, who coughs up the water but he is bleeding and has a bad concussion because his head hit the side of the yacht

When he figures out who shoved Tommy, he nearly assaults the drunk dude, and is basically a snarling feral 6ft2 overprotective guardian until they get air ops to evacuate Tommy to the hospital

At the hospital he nearly walks a trench into the hospital corridor walkway until they let him see his boyfriend, and when Tommy is better he says, "you were so hot saving me" and Buck is like what are you talking about, you were in the water and also mostly unconscious"

And it turned out several people on the yacht took videos from when they heard Tommy scream for Evan and then Buck doing a perfect running dive off the deck and the whole CPR thing as well, the videos have gone viral

Anyway. Tommy recovers and thanks his boyfriend thoroughly with a "please move in with me" and also hot "you saved my life" sex.

[sprinkleonthatcriticism]

Just finished the new Helluva boss short: Mission: Wee-a-boo-boo and I want to say, it's pretty good (warning for spoilers)

I really love the design for the woman that Blitz has to kill for his cilent because of, what I assume is the client was being cyberbullied by this woman or the client was being brutally harassed by her fans to the point that they'd killed theirselves.

Honestly, They don't really explained how the client died so I just assume that it's either because of suicide because of what the girl did or they simply just died in an accident or whatever and decided that they want to put a hit on her lol

Also just realize that in this scene Blitz is activating the asmodean crystal by just rubbing it.. I'm gonna assume it's suppose to mimic how you rub someone's ya know because if you remember in the infamous penguin short (the one where the penguins are calling them slurs) the crystal only activates if you perform a sex act on it or something, idk lol

Also, I have a lot of questions about this scene.. she is wearing this sort of necklace that blocked Blitz's attack which she claims that it's official merch from an anime that she had watched.

Which if that's the case, how the hell is it magical if it's just some piece of plastic?? I'm guessing it's the pentagram on it and not gonna lie, when that scene happened I thought this girl was gifted some sort of magical ambulant by the Cherubs to protect her (as well as to fuck with Blitz because they probably somehow know what he is up to) or that she's secretly an angel but that was until I saw the pentagram and of course, what she had said.

Also, miss opportunity to use the word "Monster fucker" instead of "Monster lover" since that's what some people who want to fuck a monster or mythical creature are called :P

Also, love the Rawr paddle in the background, obvious nod to the infamous yaoi paddle

And finally, I love her sinner design.. the color scheme is so adorable and I love that ironically she's suppose to be a chubby cat demon considering what she called herself in that episode before her death.

Not sure about the wings though, I would've personally kept the wings out while keeping her cat like appearance but I do love the fact that her stockings turn into little demons or evil cat stockings.. I think that's really funny/creative :3

Unless their actually now fused to her legs considering there's two pink hooves on them.

[miupow]

[duality.] - huening kai. [PART 3] [TEASER]

[ kai kamal huening x fem!reader ] ❝Monday comes far too fast for your liking, and now you're in Hueningkai's bed. It was time to learn how much of a Not-Virgin he is.❞

WARNINGS: smut, NSFW, MDNI! (no smut in the teaser), hard dom!hueningkai, sub!reader, f2l, graphic depictions of rough sex and BDSM, spanking, pussy slapping, handcuffs and bondage, sex toys (paddles), degredation kink, pet names, sir kink, praise kink, condoms mention, unprotected sex, size kink if you squint, vaginal fingering, piv sex, possessive!kai, choking/breath play, hair pulling, fluffy ending hehe WORDS: (for the teaser) ~700

want to be notified when duality is posted? join the taglist for duality part three here!

You’ve never seen him this embarrassed before, avoiding your eyes with puffed-out cheeks and a pink face; it was a cute look on him. “I thought you knew I was coming.”

“Well..” he cringes, fiddling with the headphones still in his hands. His face looked even redder. “I… I kind of thought you weren’t going to.” 

“Why wouldn’t I come? I told you I’d be here.” you ask, cock your head at him, watch as he turns his console off and places his headphones down on his desk. He seemed nervous and disoriented, like he really wasn’t prepared for any of what he had talked about salaciously into your ear Friday night; you felt silly, suddenly, dressed up and standing expectantly in his bedroom. Maybe you shouldn’t have taken him so seriously. This didn’t seem at all like the man who had you pinned against a brick wall and begging for it just a few nights ago, and instead much more like the shy and gentle Hueningkai you knew much, much better. 

“I thought I scared you..” Kai admits with a fake, humorless laugh, his wobbly smile quickly folding down into a grimace as he sinks further into his chair. “This is usually the part where I scare people. They were only half-joking about the whole ‘running away screaming’ thing, you know.”

Your own frown deepens, unsure of what to do or what to say as you watch him pick at his sweatpants, continue to refuse to look you in the eye as he rocks himself back and forth with the swivel of his chair. “I mean, I’m not angry about it, obviously.” he continued, fluffy blond bangs hanging over his face as he stared at the floor. “That would be stupid. A lot of people don’t like this stuff, and that’s fine. I don’t want to force anyone to do anything they don’t want to do. You don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to. It’s okay if I scared you, it really is. I’m sorry I came on so strong Friday, it was a bad idea and I shouldn’t have done it and I was drunk–”

Kai looks up at you for the first time in a while, big brown eyes watery behind his bangs and breaking your heart– he looked so truly guilty, like he had been beating himself up over this for days. Like he had spent the entire weekend pacing and tearing himself to shreds just as you had. You wish he had said something sooner, so you could have told him earlier that he didn’t do anything that you didn’t like, that he startled you but in a way that awakened something in you that you didn’t even know that you had. You wish you had the courage to tell him that he could have done whatever he wanted that night and you would have let him, because while this new side to him made you nervous it didn’t scare you. Hueningkai could never scare you.

It hits you then that there really wasn’t another secret, darker alter to Hueningkai, some frightening Jekyll and Hyde dynamic that your friends had placed into your head. Kai was always Kai, your sweet, perfect, nervous, nerdy, awkward Kai, even when he was saying the nastiest things you had ever heard in your life, and you felt very terrible very suddenly that you had ever doubted your trust in him.

“You don’t scare me, Kai.” You say simply, because you couldn’t get yourself to say anything else. The genuinely shocked look on Kai’s face at your words makes your chest ache.

“Really?” He asks just above a whisper. “I didn’t scare you?”

“No, I… I liked it.” You admit, face heating up. “I liked it, and I want more.”

Kai’s big puppy eyes change in an instant; suddenly he was gazing up at you like a predator, big brown eyes slanted and dark, dripping with a hunger you were frighteningly unfamiliar with. The sudden shift takes you by surprise, ignites a delicious fire in your belly. “Okay then.” Kai says slowly, taking his time easing out of his chair. You don’t miss the big, dizzying bulge in his sweats when he stands up. “Then let’s talk.”

[strawburry01]

Pinball Wizard

Summary: Soft lil one shot of you and your boyfriend Angus playing pinball

AN: Fluffy fluff and chill stuff sorry I'm all over the place, but life sometimes be life-ing for the good and the bad. I had someone over and left tumblr open and when I tell you I've never lunged across the room faster to shut a screen....

You stood over a pinball machine, brow furrowed in frustration as the ball once again slid right through the middle of the two paddles. You swore under your breath and hit glass, losing another dollar to the machine. You were waiting for your boyfriend Angus to meet you here after his exam, trying to take his mind off however he scored. Unfortunately you had not planned for him to take so long- or for you to lose so many quarters in the process. You sipped on your bottle of Coke as you leered at the machine, as if it would do anything. Angus was the one who was good at these sorts of things, and you swore he was somehow rigging it everytime. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t sort of into it though watching how serious he got when he leaned over the machine, usually crossing one leg behind the other to get optimal positioning. Ever since you convinced him to start wearing accessories like your rings and necklaces sometimes he’d become a lot more confident in his looks. He always was adjusting his coat sleeves or collar just so people noticed. You’d heard about his time before college and knew he had always been stuck around pretty pretentious people- going to one of those schools where he needed to wear the same uniform as everyone and go to mass everyday twice a day. Personally you would’ve set the place on fire, but he always lied and said he was an angel of a student, to which you would always punch his arm at. College was different, college was better. You were studying chemistry and working a few lab jobs around campus, mostly cleaning beakers and pipetting for hours on end, and he was studying history, working to become a professor eventually. He always said he wanted to teach at Yale or some other Ivy League, but you could see him being a good high school teacher. You’d broached the idea to him once when you were both high and talking about the future, but he got quiet and ended it by saying he’d never be as good as his history teacher. 

Some kid next to you shrieked, snapping you out of your thoughts. 

“Hey hon,” Angus said, appearing next to you, plucking your bottle out of your hand and taking a sip. The circles under his eyes were darker and his voice was tired.

“Exam went that good huh?” you asked as you watched him finish the bottle of soda. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and sighed as he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you close, setting his head on top of ours.

“What gave it away?” he gently laughed, feeling his chest rumble under your cheek as you squeezed him back. He smelled like old weathered books and cigarette smoke. He pressed his lips to your forehead before breaking away and running a hand through his mess of curly hair. “Alright give me some quarters I need to forget that essay,” he said with a small smirk as he tried to reach into your jean jacket pocket for quarters. He grabbed a handful of coins from your pocket and spun to the pinball machine you’d been opposing for the last few rounds. 

“Good luck with that one babe,” you grumbled as you moved to the right side of the machine, leaning against the wall with your hands tucked behind the small of your back. Angus laughed looking down at the lit up board.

“We’ll see about that,” he quipped, the blinking lights of the game lighting up the features of his face. You can only watch in silence as he somehow expertly flicks the bumpers racking up 100’s, 1,000’s, eventually 1,000,000’s of points. 

“How are you so good at this?” you asked from the sidelines, shaking your head. 

“I’m good with my fingers?” he answered without missing a beat or looking away from the game, to which you responded with a gentle smack to the back of his head. He only smirked. “Hey you would know right?” he added, finally drawing his eyes to meet yours. 

“Oh shut it Tully,” you sneered as you pushed yourself off the wall to go get another Coke. Before you could get far you felt his hand wrap around your waist and pull you back. He nestled you right between himself and the machine, holding his hands over yours on the sides, resting his chin on your shoulder. 

“You’re going to make me lose the game Y/N,” he mumbled into your ear, still laser focused on the game, pressing your fingers in to hit the bumpers for him. 

“What if I throw the game for you?” you threatened, hitting the bumpers with your own volition a few times before the ball reached the bottom again. Angus took the second to pinch your hip which caused you to yelp.

“I suggest you don’t try it,”. You smiled to yourself as you settled back, leaning back into his chest as you felt his arms reach out over your own to continue playing, “good girl,” he murmured into your ear as he quickly pecked your cheek as he continued to play.

The fact that this was your life now- the fact that the nerd that sat in the back of the ancient Roman civilizations class was now wrapped around you- STILL more focused on a damn pinball game than you-

“High score,” he muttered under his breath as the screen in front flashed yellow and blue. Sure enough somehow he had really just gotten the high score. 

“Good job babe,” you laughed as he flicked through the letters to spell out your name on the scoreboard.

“Couldn’t have done it without my lucky charm,” he smiled as he placed a kiss on the top of your shoulder before pushing back from the machine and stretching his arms above his head, lifting up the hem of his shirt in the process. Your eyes couldn’t help but wander down to his exposed midsection, a small bit of his tattoo peaking out, “enjoying the view?” he asked as he caught you in the act. You felt your face go red as you tried to open your mouth to defend your way out of this one, but you knew it was hopeless. 

He smirked and pulled you in by the belt loops until you were chest to chest with him, wrapping your arms behind the back of his neck. He was a strong proponent of PDA, and you for once didn’t mind it in a relationship.

“Think I can get lucky again tonight?” he said as his lips brushed yours. You pushed onto the toes of your shoes and kissed his lips, leaving him wanting more as you sunk back down. You slid your hand on top of his jeans, touching his skin under his shirt causing him to suck air in with anticipation.

“I think it’s both of us getting lucky,”. 

[gosecretscribbles]

Stanuary 2025 Week 1: Mindscape

Summary: Stan is on the beach looking for clothes to steal when heatstroke sets in. He pops out of his body and into the Mindscape, where our favorite Dorito is hoping to make a deal.

AO3 link

Stanley was cold. 

He got up and walked.  Sand and candy wrappers crunched under his bare feet.  Shorebirds chased the waves back and forth.  Gulls chased the occasional flying chip wrapper.  It was really hot today.  Why was he cold again?

Whatever.  He was busy.  He was sick of hand-me-downs.  Pa only bought Ford new clothes.  Stan was sick of hand-me-downs.  By the time Stan got them, it was because Ford had almost outgrown them, which meant Stan only wore them for a week before they were too tight to really wear.  So he was going to find a few charitable tourists and borrow some semi-new stuff. 

Except there…weren’t any tourists.  That was weird, too.  And the gulls were gone.  And he was <em>cold.</em>  If it was so hot, why was he shivering?  Shivering sucked.  Stan got up and started walking.

Had…had he been lying down?

“Stupid sand,” he grumbled.  Must’ve tripped.  Ugh, he was cold.  He squinted.  Oh, duh, there were no tourists because he was headed the wrong way.  He could see the shadow of the Stan O’ War over by the cliffs.  They’d only been working on it a couple of months, but they’d stowed some basic running away supplies in there.  Water and chips and a couple towels.  He could use a towel.  He got up and started walking. 

The Stan O’ War was getting close now.  He felt a little better already, and a whole lot lighter.  He grinned.  <em>See?  Stan-the-Man’s still kickin’.  You know what, forget the beach.  I’ll go to the boardwalk and steal the clothes right off people’s backs!  Literally!</em>

“I’ll train a pet fly!” he said aloud.  “I’d make it go up people’s shirts and bug them until they took it off.  No wait, a pet wasp.  Wasps are cool.  I’ll tie some string around it like a leash and feed it…whatever wasps ate.  Apples?  Oh, I could use Shanklin!  No, wait, if I sic Shanklin on them, Shanklin he’d just tear up the clothes.  Okay, no Shanklin.” 

He was still working out his plan when he reached the boat.  He put one hand on the side of the boat and lifted his foot to step over the broken wood.

His hand went straight through the boat.

He fell forward with a sharp cry, expecting more pain as wood dug into his leg.  But he didn’t even hit the ground.  He looked down.  He was floating.  Apparently. 

“Huh.”  He waved his hand through the boat again.  Come to think of it, he hadn’t heard his own footsteps for the past…however long.  “Am I a ghost?  Oh man, Sixer’s gonna <em>love</em> this!”

“HEY THERE, KIDDO!”

Stan looked up.  Lounging against the mast was a bright yellow triangle.  It had one eye, little stick limbs and a top hat.  He snorted.  “A bow tie?  What are you, an insurance salesman?”

“HA!  YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY, KID!  DRESS FOR THE JOB YOU WANT, NOT THE JOB YOU HAVE!”  The triangle swooped down and circled Stan.  “YEESH.  YOU WANT TO BE A TRASH HEAP, KID?”

“Depends, what’ll you pay me for it?”

The triangle laughed and zipped away, coming to rest on the rail of the boat.  “YOU KNOW WHAT?  I LIKE YOU KID!  NAME’S BILL!  HOW’S ABOUT I HELP YOU GET SOME REAL DUDS, HUH?”

“Yeah?  You the magic money fairy?”

“EVEN BETTER, KID!”  The triangle multiplied itself in a ring around Stan.  All the triangle-guys tilted in slightly and their shapes turned into screens.  He saw recordings of himself, like he was watching his memories play out on TV.  The time he got Ford’s old jeans.  The time he patched up Ford’s old belt with tape.  The time Ford ripped a white T-shirt, so when Stan got it, he started rolling up his sleeves.  “I’VE BEEN WATCHING YOU, KID.  WHY STOP AT A WARDROBE UPDATE?  I CAN UPDATE YOUR WHOLE LIFE!  NEW HOUSE, NEW YOU, NEW FAMILY!  WHADDAYA SAY?”

“Nah.”  He turned and started doggy-paddling through the air.

The triangle was suddenly in front of him again, a little too fast.  His yellow edges seemed to snap with static.  “HEEEEY, BUDDY!  PAL!  WHAT’S THE RUSH?  I’M OFFERING THE SALE OF YOUR TEENY TINY EXISTANCE!”

“Con,” Stan said flatly. 

“WHAT –”

“<em>COOOOON,</em>” Stan said flatly, sounding bored.  He lounged back on thin air.  “Pretty bad one, too.  Is this from the moldy corn chips last night?”

Bill was definitely buzzing with static.  The yellow flashed briefly to red.  “CORNCHIP?  GUESS AGAIN, KID!  YOU’RE IN THE MINDSCAPE!  I’M AS REAL AS YOU ARE!”

Stan frowned.  “Mindscape?  I’m dreaming?”

“DREAMING, ASTRAL-PROJECTING, DYING, WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE?  DO YOU REALLY WANT TO RUSH BACK TO A FLESH PUPPET THAT’S HOT, HUNGRY, AND TIRED?”

“Yep.  Bye.”  He swam through Bill. 

Bill turned bright red and got way, way bigger.  Bigger than a dump truck.  His eye turned black with a slitted white pupil. 

“<strong>BIG MISTAKE, KID –</strong>”

“Con.”

“<strong>I’VE BEEN WAITING A TRILLION YEARS – </strong>”

“Con.”

“<strong></em>STOP SAYING –</strong></em>”

“COOOOOON.”

It might’ve been scary, but Stan had already proved that they couldn’t touch each other when he ghosted through Bill.  He was pretty sure this was all real, though.  Mostly because he’d never ever dream up a bowtie and a top hat.  What was that even about?  Was the money fairy running for president or something?  At least grow a beard, Mr. Shiny Abe Lincoln!  Or get lasers.  Lasers were cool. 

If this was real, though, then he wasn’t sure what had happened to his body.  He didn’t really remember dying, so maybe he was just…part ghost?  He’d been walking around on the beach before, so his body was probably somewhere on the sand.  He wanted to go back to it.  But it actually was nice not to feel hungry or tired.  That, and the sun was starting to set.  Ford might’ve gone looking and found him.  And Stan really didn’t want to lead this thing back to his brother.  He wasn’t sure if being a ghost meant people could see them or not.  If they could, though, Ford would take one look at Bill and go all Obsessed Robo Nerd.  No thanks.

It took a few hours, but Stan eventually made Bill go away by singing “I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves” over and over.  Bill started making weird screechy noises at him, which was absolutely <em>hilarious.</em>  But the sun was setting and he really needed to find his body before the gulls tried to eat him for smelling like corn chips.

Sure enough, he spotted his body slumped over a little way up the beach.  Looked like he’d collapsed face-down.  (Okay that was a little bit funny.)  The tide was coming in up to his shoulder.  Ford had found him, at least, and was dragging him out of – oh, wait, no, he was dragging Stan <em>into</em> the water.  A flock of seagulls surrounded them, periodically trying to dive-bomb Stan’s body.  Ford was trying to fend them off with a bent beach umbrella. 

“Back, ye beasts!” Ford shouted at them.  “BACK TO THE DUMPSTERS FROM WHENCE YOU CAME!”

…Alright, so Ford wasn’t completely trying to kill him.  Just drown him.  Apparently. 

Stan braced himself and dove back into his body.  He didn’t even have a full second to think, <em>It worked!</em> before gravity yanked him face-first into the next wave.  He flailed, coughing hard, and all of his limbs threatened to crush him under his own weight.  He thought he’d felt cold before.  He was practically freezing! 

“Stan!”  Ford grabbed Stan’s head and pulled him above the wave.  Which did not help.  Ford realized this and switched dropped him –

“OW!”

– and then grabbed Stan under the armpits, hauling him a little further up the beach.  The seagulls drew back, sullen disappointment in their beady little eyes. 

“Sixer,” Stan croaked. 

“Stanley!  You’re alive!”

“You – tried to – drown me!” he managed between coughs. 

“I’m trying to cool you down!  How long were you out here?  You’ve got really bad heatstroke, you’re burning up!”

Is that what this was?  Heatstroke felt like a bad fever, times a thousand.  His body hurt and he was so cold his teeth were chattering and he couldn’t even see and he felt so dizzy he was going to throw up. 

“Wanna go back t’ the mind thing,” Stan groaned, and then almost screamed when the next wave crashed over his legs and back.  It was so cold, why was it so cold and why did it hurt so much? 

“…making sense.  It’s okay!  We just – okay, we can’t go to a hospital, but I read about heatstroke!  You can’t sleep – no, that’s concussions.  But it’s fine, we’re cooling you off –”

“<em>Hurts</em>.”

“We have to, Stanley, you could die from heatstroke!” 

Ford’s face was really pale, actually, even in the orange light of the setting sun.  No wait, it was night.  Because it was all dark.

“It’s not dark, I just opened the umbrella.  Uh, you’re cooling off, you also need to drink a ton of water <em>not the seawater!</em>”  Ford yanked Stan’s chin up above the waves.  Stan tried to bite him.  He was thirsty!  “No!  It’s 3% salt, processing salt in your kidneys takes more water, you’ll actually dehydrate drinking it –”

Stan lost track of what Ford was saying.  His head was pounding and his vision was going all dark.  But Ford was making nerd noises, which must mean that everything was okay.  He closed his eyes.  This time, instead of a weird talking triangle, he saw black, and slipped down into a heavy sleep.

[tinfoil-jones]

Gravity Falls: For Your Own Good, Ch. 11

Summary: A few years after moving to Gravity Falls and having his lab built, Stanford Pines happens upon his estranged twin brother, Stanley. He mentally prepared himself to be suffocated by his brothers neediness all over again - what he wasn't prepared for was Stanley walking right past him like he didn't even notice him.

Rating: M for language, violence, and adult implications

Preface: Dialogue only, but some actions will be annotated for clarity. Cross-Posted on AO3 Here

First - Prev - Next

CH. 11

“One paddle-paddle, two paddle-paddle-.”

“HEYYY! Miss me, little brother?”

“...What the f-”

“It’s ironic! You used to smother me, with your dependency and lack of originality. Now I’m smothering you, by keeping you in a cage. It’s poetic, in a way.”

“...What are you supposed to be?”

“It’s just me, Stanford Pines. I’m definitely your twin brother, and not a maniac who kidnapped you because I can’t admit when I’m wrong or accept that I push people away.”

“Naw, you’re not him.”

“I assure you-.”

“No. Whatever you are? You’re not the guy who's been keeping me down here. You’re something else.”

“Oh?”

“This some… Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde situation? You one of those hive mind aliens that possess people? Or…?”

“Sixer was right to not underestimate you, conman. Let’s just say I’m a friend.”

“I’ve heard that before, but I recognize another wiseguy when I see one. What do you really want?”

“Why are you in denial, Stanley?”

“Denial is my fourth best skill, actually. It’s right above hoeing, and right below theft.”

“...Ignoring that. Why do you keep insisting you’re not Stanley Pines?”

“Show me the proof, guy.”

“You and Stanford have the same face.”

“Some people are just like that.”

“You have no memory of having a family, but Fordsy here has a gap in his, a gap you could slot into so easily.”

“Lot’s of families ‘lose’ members to homelessness.”

“Sounding a little bitter there, conman. Got personal feelings about that?”

“People aren’t ‘lost’ to homelessness, they’re forgotten. For the comfort of everyone else; for people who love to wax poetically about how other people struggle, but don’t have the stomach to look at it with their own eyes.”

“Well, well, well, well, well-.”

“Buddy, you get a nickel every time you say that?”

“Funny. What’s also funny is your ‘deep insight’. You’re so mad about people like you being forgotten, and yet… You forgot you.”

“What’s your point?”

“Why are you afraid of remembering? Are you afraid that you’ll remember loving people who couldn’t be bothered to remember you?”

“You seem to think you know a lot about me. Why don’t you tell me?”

“I think you cling to this ‘hardcore vagabond with no past’ persona because it’s convenient for you. Because it’s less painful for you. I think you wanted something so bad at one point that it consumed you, and when you couldn’t have it, there wasn’t anything significant left of you.”

“Wow. That’s quite a theory. Wanna hear the one I have about you?”

“Hit me, conman.”

“Oh, I wish I could. My theory is that you’re a lonely, nosey, parasitic little bi-.”

*‘Ford’ presses the mute button*

“Sorry Stanley, but I’m getting the last laugh here- and you’re giving me the bird. No, two birds. The audience will never know if you’re actually doing that, or if I’m just saying that you are.”

(...)

“Hey, Doc?”

“Yes, Stanley?”

“You know how I normally don’t ask you questions about your life because you’re crazy and I’m here against my will?”

“...Are you about to ask me a question?”

“Did you make a Faustian bargain with some eldritch abomination?”

“...What?!”

“Or… Do you use cocaine? I’d believe either, but I can help you with that second one if that’s it; you see, the key to kicking the habit is-.”

“Stanley. Why are you asking this?”

“Because last night something possessed you and tried talking to me about my feelings. But it failed because I don’t have any. What was that?”

“...Nothing possessed me.”

“PhD, you are terrible at lying.”

“Nobody possessed me! You must have just been dreaming.”

“No, I don’t have dreams. I only have nightmares about being suffocated. Or the IRS. Or the IRS suffocating me.”

“...What?”

“Are you a Warlock?”

“A- a what?”

“There’s this game that dorks play - and there's elves, and wizards, and stuff. Warlocks are those guys who use magic, but they have to get it from otherworldly entities. Are you that? Is that what you are?”

“...You are talking about the tabletop roleplaying game, Dungeons, Dungeons and More Dungeons?”

“Yes.”

“You.. play that?”

“No. I never played it.”

“But you know the mechanics?”

“Some of it. Just the basic stuff. None of the actual- I don’t know, rules? Something something something D38; something something something THAC0.”

“How do you know?”

“I dunno, I don’t think too hard about it. Anyways,  so you’re a Warlock and you’re hiding it because your patron, boss, eldritch pimp, or whatever you wanna call it is gonna be mad at you? Is that what this is?”

“Stanley, please. Stuff like that is simply… fantasy.”

“Oh really? This is coming from the guy who has an anatomically accurate poster of a dissected fairy that you drew yourself.”

“...You can see that?”

“Why wouldn’t I? It’s right over there.”

“Stanley, you should not be able to see that. It’s too far away, and you’re not wearing glasses or contacts.”

“Doc, I don’t need glasses.”

“You have needed them our entire lives, just like I do. You have a bad habit of breaking them, or not wearing them because you think you won’t look cool.”

“Shows just how much you know. Are you gonna tell me what that thing last night was? Or are you going to keep changing the topic and hope that I get too distracted to follow up?”

“Nothing happened last night. I’m not a warlock. I can’t believe you lied to me all those years ago when you told me you ignored all of my long talks about the finer mechanics and lore surrounding DD&D. And you should need glasses.”

*Ford goes upstairs*

“Well, guess I have nothing better to do than to take a nap. I wonder how the IRS is going to suffocate me this time…”

To be continued…

[blackdollette]

"i dont know why but i like it." | euronymous part 2 of "playing a dangerous game."

diet mountain dew - lana del rey

summary: pleasure torture with euronymous

p.s. this has nothing to do with the original oystein aarseth. this is rory's portrayal of the character.

sub!female!reader x dom!euronymous

contents: bdsm, degradation, praise, pain-kink, spanking, wax play, edging, overstimulation, squirting

so after ditching the party, you and euronymous were hand in hand, running down the street. he had told you that you were heading back to his place, but you didnt think he'd live in an apartment like a normal person would.

he opened the door to his room, letting you go in first. after he walked in, he locked the door behind him. and for some reason, it sent a shiver down your spine.

you stood still, holding your hands in front of you. you really hadnt thought about how this would go. you didnt know what people like him did when they had guests over, but you knew that it was gonna be a bumpy ride.

he started approaching you slowly, the sound of his black boots hitting the hardwood floor echoing thoughout the room. you started backing up a little as he approached you like a predator hunting its prey.

he got you back into the wall, exactly where he wanted you. he put a hand to your neck, keeping a firm but comfortable grip. "ive never seen a girl quite as pretty as you... but you'd be a lot prettier if you were tied up, tears running down your face as i used you for my own pleasure, dont you think?" you froze a little as you heard this.

"w-w... what... what do you mean..?" you stammered, immediately wishing you didnt ask when you saw the toxic smile creep up on his face. "im glad you asked, doll." and with that, he dragged you to his bedroom, closing the door behind him.

he pushed you onto his bed as he grabbed his lighter and lit a few candles around the room. you looked up to see what he was doing. he walked over to you, standing right over you. he pulled you up so you were face to face with him. his eyes roamed down your body.

"such a nice dress. i'd be a shame if something happened to it, wouldnt it?" he grinned as the tore the chest area of the dress, exposing your tits and pierced nipples. you gasped as he did this, completely shocked. you didnt think things would escalate this quickly.

he chuckled softly as he saw the piercings. "huh, so youre a naughty little girl, hm? who wouldve guessed." he said as he tore off the rest of the dress, throwing the now useless piece of fabric to the side. you were left only in your little black thong.

he bit his lip a little as he sized you up. "on the bed, now." you obeyed him. you'd be lying if you said you werent excited to see how things would go tonight. "face down, ass up." he searched his drawer for a few things.

your face was in the pillow as you heard him rummaging through his things. after a moment, he came to you. "look up." he was standing beside you. you turned your head to see what he wanted you to see, and your eyes widened.

he had some rope, a ball gag, and a vibrator in one hand and a paddle in the other. "you seen any of these things before, doll?" he asked. you nodded your head, even though this was all new to you.

"good. then this will be a breeze." he climbed onto the bed and got behind you, unravelling the rope. he grabbed your arms and put them behind your back. he wrapped the rope around your wrists, tying it with a tight knot.

it felt a little strange to be restricted like this, but you didnt complain. he lifted up your head and put the ball gag on you, stopping you from making any noises. he grinned as he saw you like this. "perfect. now youre all ready for me."

you couldnt ask what he meant, but you quickly got the idea when he moved your thong to the side. he sighed as he saw you little pussy, just there waiting for him. his mind filled with fantasies of how he was going to destroy you tonight.

you felt the cold air of the room hit your pussy, making your breath hitch slightly. euronymous spat on it before massaging it in with his thumb. you whimpered quietly at the feeling of his touch.

you saw as euronymous picked up the paddle from the corner of your eye. before you could process this, he landed a hard slap right on your ass, making you scream out in pain. well, it would have been a scream if the gag wasnt there to suppress every sound that you made.

euronymous smiled as he saw the red mark stain your ass. he spanked you again, making you whimper even louder. your pussy started to ache for attention. with every spank, you found yourself enjoying this treatment more and more.

"such a good fucking whore for me..." euronymous whispered as he ceased the abuse on your ass, which was completely red by now. "now, if your a good little slut for me, you get a reward. but if you're naughty, then you get punished. understood?" you didnt know what he meant by punishment, so you didnt respond.

he picked up one of the lit candles and tipped it, pouring the hot melted wax all over your ass. you cried out as tears pricked at your eyes. that was what he meant by punishment. "i said, understood?" you nodded quickly, not wanting to get punished again.

he smiled before picking up the vibrator. you heard as he switched it on, becoming desperate for touch. you lifted your hips in the air a little more. he chuckled softly before pressing the vibrator against your aching clit.

you let out a loud, muffled moan, your cunt already leaking from this simple action. "you like that, hm?" he said softly. you nodded quickly, not wanting to anger him.

he liked how this was starting out. he turned the vibrator up a few notches, making you scream out. your hips started rolling against the toy, your liquids making the perfect lubricant for the vibrator.

euronymous started to move the vibrator up and down your slit, sending shockwaves throughout your body. you started to tremble as you felt your orgasm nearing. he sensed this and turned it up even more.

you put your head into the bedsheets as your back arched into the toy. you were so close to reaching the perfect orgasm. just a few more seconds, and you'd be in heaven. but euronymous wasnt about to let that happen so easily.

your pussy started to throb as the vibrations took over your body. your hole clenched as it made way for your leg shaking orgasm. your moans came through the gag as your stomach started to knot. you bucked your hips against the toy as your orgasm was a second away from flooding through you.

but this was enough to tick him off, making him pull away the toy, earning you a hard and painful spank. you whimpered out in pain and disappointment from not being able to cum.

"what did i say about being a naughty girl?" he asked as he poured more candle wax onto you. tears streamed out of your eyes and fell down your face at the feeling of this excruciating pain.

"fucking whore. getting needy, hm? you want me to let you cum?" you nodded as tears fell down your face. he hit your ass with the paddle once more, making you whimper. "you'll only cum when i fucking say so."

he ran his index finger over your dripping wet cunt, going painfully slowly. you tried your very best to keep your composure. he saw how hard you were trying to keep him pleased, so he let you have your way and stuck two fingers into you, thrusting them in and out at a quick pace.

you started moaning through the gag, your pussy throbbing with the need to cum. he slammed his fingers into you at a brutally fast rate, making your insides tremble. your back arched more and more as your orgasm hit like a ton of bricks, you cumming all over his fingers.

he chuckled darkly. "little slut couldnt resist cumming all over my fingers. but im not done with you yet." he had no intention of stopping. he continued to finger you, despite your moans turning into cries and attempted pleas.

the louder you got, the more he wanted to drain every last drop of cum out of you. he picked up the vibrator, turning it on to the maximum setting before pressing it against your clit as he continued to finger you.

your eyes rolled to the back of your head, drool coming out from the sides of your mouth. you could feel your entire body heating up as you felt an unfamiliar sensation growing in your core.

you didnt know what was happening, you were unable to think at all from the feeling of his fingers pumping in and out of you, along with the vibrator making your body twitch.

this feeling in your core grew into something inhumane. your whole body trembled uncontrollably as you squirted all over his fingers and the toy. it was like a fountain coming out of you, it not stopping for a few moments.

euronymous laughed as you released your liquids all over him. "yeah... just like that, whore. such a good girl for me..." he'd say as he pulled his fingers out of you and turned off the vibrator.

you were still a shaky mess, trying to catch your breath as you were relapsing from that unearthly feeling. your pussy was still pumping as if his fingers were still inside of you.

euronymous untied the rope around your wrists and removed the gag from your mouth. he pulled you up so that he could take a good look at your face. your mascara was completely ruined, falling in black streams down your cheeks. your lipstick was smudged, and your hair was a mess.

he smiled as you were still catching your breath. "there. now youre absolutely perfect." he said before taking your hand and giving it a soft kiss.

author's note: first two-parter ive ever done, and I'm kind of liking it idk. i hope you all liked this one!

[starleska]

Omg your Wally headcanons are ✨!!!

Could you maybe write how Wally would react to a neighbor that is prone to fainting?

d'aww thank you very much sweet anon, that means a lot!! 🥰 oh yes, i'd love to - what a sweet idea!! i hope you don't mind that i've taken some liberties with describing the fainting condition - my apologies if they don't match up to your experience if you're prone to fainting yourself 💖

Wally Darling x a Reader Prone to Fainting headcanons

⭐ you're always a little embarrassed to admit you're prone to fainting. although you know it's a legitimate medical condition that can leave you seriously hurt (and it has!), you can't help but feel burdensome to those around you - especially if you're asking them to remove a fainting trigger. no one is ever nasty about it - but sometimes, you feel their pity hits just as hard as a bad word. because of this, when you first move to Wally's neighbourhood and meet your colourful new friends, it takes you a while to open up about your fainting. they're all such vibrant, kind people, you have to brace yourself for what you're sure will be a sickeningly sympathetic reaction 😷 ⭐ but when you tell Wally about your condition, he reacts in an unexpected way. a wide smile stretches across his face, and he laughs, not unkindly. "ha ha ha! that's interesting." baffled, you ask him if he's making fun of you. he shakes his head, and says simply, "your brain gets too excited by the world, so it has to go to sleep. i think that's wonderful." Wally's words stick with you for the rest of the day, and you can't help grinning to yourself when you think about your strange new friend's worldview. he always manages to find a way to turn the most difficult situation into an opportunity for learning 😊 ⭐ the first time you faint in front of him, Wally saves your life. your fainting triggers are wide and varied: standing up too quickly, certain smells, strong emotions. however, your most common trigger is low blood sugar - if you don't eat enough or at the right times, you're sure to go down like a sack of bricks. the day was roasting, and yourself, Wally and the rest of the neighbourhood were having a blast with water balloons, super soakers, and all manner of gizmos to try and beat the heat. in all the fun, you'd totally forgotten to eat, but you stubbornly ignored the warning signs (nausea, seeing lights, etc.). when Barnaby and Julie tried to pull you back into their game of water tag, you told them you're just going to take a moment and sit in the paddling pool. you take your seat in the water, hoping that the coolness will help calm your nervous system...but then you feel your consciousness slip 👀 ⭐ the next thing you know, Wally pulls you, coughing and spluttering, from the water. you're shocked - Wally is normally so relaxed and talks with a slow, steady kind of ease, but now he's babbling, desperately trying to get you to focus on him and tell him your name. thankfully, you'd only been passed out for a moment; Wally saw you go under and rushed into action immediately. by the time everyone returns from their game, Wally already has you wrapped up snugly in a towel, and insists to the others that they continue having fun while he gets you home safely. from that moment on, Wally always keeps a close eye on you and looks out for your triggers. he makes sure to remind you to eat - and keeps a few spare snacks around, just in case 💖 this was an interesting prompt indeed!! i hope it's to your liking, anon 🥰💖

[sourcherryandsprinkles]

surf trip with jj

my taglists are here + you can send requests here at any time

—

As soon as you were old enough to touch the money you got from the gold, you and JJ booked a surf trip. A lot of people said he was insane for dropping a crazy amount of money on a single trip, but it wasn’t just any trip, this was JJ’s dream. He didn’t care how much he was spending or how much he’ll have left in his bank account. The ocean, a surfboard, some weed and his girlfriend — that’s all he needed to be happy.

Getting him a passport had been a wild ride, but you made it to your first stop: Hawaii.

JJ emerged from under the water, shaking his blond hair before looking for you. ‘’Did you see that wave?’’ He had a big grin across his face, excited about the wave he just rode.

Sitting on your surfboard, you paddled over to him, matching the excitement on his face. ‘’She was so high, J! It was insane!’’

The two of you had been waiting for a perfect wave like that all day, and finally, it had arrived. The rush of adrenaline from riding such a massive wave was indescribable.

JJ let out a laugh, his blue eyes sparkling with joy. ‘’I felt like I was the fucking king of the sea up there,’’ he exclaimed, still relishing the exhilarating experience.

You laughed, shaking your head at his silliness.

As the day drew to a close, you went back to the traveler hostel and threw on a cami and loose fitting pants over your bikini while JJ took care of the rental surfboards. You only had two days left in Hawaii and you wanted to hit that restaurant you heard one of the other travelers talk about.

When you came out of the hostel, you easily found JJ by the boardwalk. His shirt and snapback were back on, and his back was turned to you. Taking advantage of his position, you quietly snuck up on him and wrapped your arms around his shoulder and chest from behind.

He instinctively leaned back against you, covering one of your hands with his. ‘’Finally. I’m starving.’’

You rolled your eyes. ‘’I was gone for ten minutes. Don’t be dramatic.’’

‘’I haven’t eaten anything since lunch.’’

‘’Aw, my poor baby,’’ you cooed.

‘’It’s true.’’ JJ leaned his head back and you kissed his cheek. ‘’My stomach is screaming ‘JJ feed me’,’’ he said with a higher voice, making you laugh. 

—

OBX taglist: @moralina @eudximoniakr @toylewestinnyc @rottenstyx  @sweeterheartxamerica  @jordierama @viridwityy @izzy-laufeyson @kenzi-woycehoski @lilaconner @Katsukis1Wife  @hawkegfs @mommyruuetrue  @acornacreacure @snownjune @nmedina8611 @slvtherinseeker  @slvtherinseeker @poppet05 @1stevelacyfan @illf4iry @withbeautyandrage  @maybankslover @sunflowerziva @laylasbunbunny @Honey-marvel15 @leoluvsur-pappy @slytherhoes @kcskye123 @outerbanksacc  @pedrosprincess  @mikaelsonsstuff  @skyesthebomb  @a1mzcruml3y @iluurmom  @popeheywardssecretgf  @madelynie  @loverofdrewstarkey  @radiant-whore  @outsider-at-hogwarts

All and more taglist: @spiokybirdstarfish @kenqki @liidiaaag @hawkegfs  @gillybear17  @areaderinlove @acornacreacure @black-rose-29 @fudge13 @cece05 @rosie-cameron @Caxddce @laylasbunbunny @gemofthenight @beautyb1ade  @hi-bored-as-fcuk-rn  @lovelyy-moonlight @mellabella101 @vxnity713  @marzipaanz  @bisexualgirlsblog @queenofslytherin889 @thatbxtchesblog @softb-tterfly @ethanlandrycanbreakmyheart  @xyzstar  @graceberman3  @Heartsforneteyamsully