#there's a hole in my chest
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I would give so much just to have this back.
#thank you everyone for being so kind#this one is so sudden and is hitting so hard#and he's just gone#i don't feel him with me#i don't hear his tags jingling#i hope i see him breathing and i feel how cold and stiff he is#and the ground is too frozen to bury him#but even letting him rest in his crate where he can be kept cool until then feels wrong#he lived his last week in the crate#i should have given him more supervised time loose#my brain is desperately looking to be guilty#there's a hole in my chest
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he never NEVER calls aziraphale by his name to his face this season. even after he tells him he wants to go to heaven he still calls him angel. you see him call him angel through the years and you can pinpoint the exact moment he actually started using it as a pet name and he's going for it constantly in s2 he's. so so in love it's embarassing
#im... not okay#the hole in my chest came back i dont know how to get rid of it i need fanfic#good omens
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can you pls post a non-bonk version of esen i need to print him out and put him in a heart locket fr <3
here he iiisss for all your heart locket/stabbing/being haunted by a past you can no longer go back to needs
#id in alt text#he just died so u can imagine the distress im under 😔😔😔#taking back the bonking esen babygworl come back i miss u#i could fix u-#both the giant hole through your chest and the Personality#esen temur#the radiant emperor#my art
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Alright I told myself I wouldn't interact with fandom when s2 came out, and I haven't and don't plan to except to say this about people deciding Caitlyn is the Worst or that the writing is OOC.
As someone who has had a family member violently killed, I cannot stress how much it shakes up everything you thought you were and stood for. My beliefs in proportionate compassionate justice and the rights of all human beings are some of the strongest I have (stronger now because of the way that experience affected me personally), but they were pushed to the absolute limit when it came to an individual who had killed my loved one, showed no remorse, and laughed in our faces outside court, among other things.
People generally like to believe it wouldn't be them or their peace-loving family members being talked down from seriously considering violent revenge, consequences be damned. People like to believe they wouldn't lash out at people closest to them under that pressure, that they wouldn't build walls around the kindest and most sensitive parts of themselves because those parts are the ones feeling pain you never thought possible, that they wouldn't stalk the killer, make notes on all their family and friends, and fuck up their hands punching walls in anger wishing so badly it was flesh and bone because they can't handle the fact that there's no way to turn back time to stop it all from happening. People like to think they're "better" than that. But the reality is messy and painful as hell.
With Caitlyn, she has the added guilt of having actually had the opportunity to stop Jinx before she fired the rocket, but she hesitated just long enough for it to result in the deaths of her mother and other councillors and in the cities being plunged into chaos. Not only that, but the person close to her she's lashing out at is the person who caused her to hesitate, and just so happens to be the sister of the killer.
Furthermore, her behaviour is entirely in character. We have seen her set up as someone who becomes obsessed with achieving a goal and will do pretty much anything she wants to get there. In S1, we agreed with her methods because her goal was exposing and taking down Silco, and because it led to Vi being released. In S2, she's doing a similar thing but it's fuelled by fear and a type of pain she doesn't know how to deal with, rather than being fuelled by a need to prove herself and solve a case, and it leads to her making morally questionable decisions and to hurting Vi. She admits herself, albeit privately to Vi, that she does not know what she's doing and doesn't know how to fill this hole in her chest (and the hole in the city leadership). She has been sheltered from the real world for almost all her life, and as a result she has no experience of functioning or making decisions under this kind of pressure. The real world blew up in her face in the worst way and she was given power and a loaded rifle, and then shoved into an even more elevated position by a very experienced warlord who is manipulating the shit out of the whole situation.
I'm not saying that you have free rein to hurt people when you're grieving and facing extreme stress. (If you think that's what I'm saying then idk I'm not sure there's much hope for you in terms of critical thinking skills). What I'm saying is that Caitlyn is exhibiting pretty normal human behaviour that most people would be susceptible to in those circumstances, not the behaviour of someone who is some kind of heartless abusive bastard.
TLDR: Caitlyn is being written in a way that completely makes sense and is also not OOC, and if someone told me there would be no chance of them reacting in similar ways I simply would not believe them.
#needed to get this off my chest#I just dont know why people watch media with complex characters and messages if they aren't prepared to think about it all critically#like that's literally what makes it engaging#okay I'll return to my hole now#arcane#arcane s2#arcane s2 spoilers#arcane spoilers#caitlyn kiramman#cw grief#cw family death#cw murder
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quick "chip" sketch from ep 109
#wanted to draw him with gray skin hehe#this ep is a real throwback to the desire isle arc.... holes in hearts. chip is stone gray/dead. big fight with a boss and ghouls. mmmm#his neck is a little busy so ill definitely change it if i draw him like this again. but itll do for now its a sketch anyway#love the color pallett otherwise tho... very tasty looking#i think this is the fifth art with a black background i did in the last couple days but pffff who cares i love black backgrounds#OH also yes. no hole in his chest. pretty sure the heart was pulled from his throat anyway#doesn't make it better but haha yeah#jrwi riptide#jrwi chip#jrwi riptide spoilers#jrwi spoilers#riptide spoilers#my art#sketch
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it's hard loving yourself
#i can't keep lying to myself#how do you love something that is so unlovable#i'm poison. i come from poison. i have poison inside me and i destroy everything i touch. that's my legacy.#i pour alcohol into the gaping hole inside my chest. it does not heal. not today. maybe tomorrow. maybe it wont heal ever#smoke fills my chest . empty it can be#yet so full of your absence#im nothing but an empty husk of what I once was#and a big part of me was already forcefully ripped away from me when you left#hello hi im back with ghoap angst#can you believe its been a whole week since i drew them#anyways#gummmyart#doodle#simon ghost riley#john soap mactavish#soapghost#ghostsoap#angst#implied mcd
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#this movie shot a hole through my chest#dissociative identity disorder#inside out 2#inside out anxiety#io2#did osdd#osdd#did system
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#i'm plagued by it#the big black empty hole inside of my chest#nobody gets it. i can't explain it#i can't make therapists or doctors understand. they just don't get it#are you sad? depressed? sometimes? they think#they just do not get it. no this big black void hovers over me constantly#it wants me to join it#it is always with me#and how will therapy help it go away if therapists do not even understand what it is?#i am utterly and completely helpless and powerless to it#i am scared. because i know the day will come where i succumb to it#bpd emptiness#chronic emptiness#bpd feelings#childhood trauma#actuallytraumatized#traumacore#vent edit#bpd
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The guide fweheuhuieheueuhehehhehehiheh
#isat#in stars and time#in stars and time spoilers#isat bonnie#in recipes and repetition#randomized isatswap au#They aren’t canon in IRAR as far as I’m sure but i’ve seen them tagged with it so just in case…#headcanon is that when they are big brain thinking really hard their four chest dots spin like a loading screen#Like I imagine them and bonnie having a serious talk about allat jazz with wishcraft and the king and why they’re stuck and blehblehbleh#And then bonnie just points at their chest in the middle of the conversation and is like “why is your tummy rotating” -_-#Also i just love their design a lot like the dots are from the shirt and the flaring wrist from where the bracelet used to be…#And also tail. Tail = peak loop design instantly#And also also the tail looks like somethin between a red giant and a black hole whICH IS ALSO WHAT THE HEAD LOOKS LIKE RAHHHHHH#i dont wanna yap on but i love this design so much its so bonnie and it just makes sense everywhere#yehheheh#my art
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shitty Sand appreciation
#only friends the series#ofts#oftsedit#first kanaphan#asianlgbtqdramas#userjamiec#tuserrowan#userbon#tusersilence#tuserhidden#tostrangers#esmetracks#fordaniseyes#my gifs#my edits#mine: only friends#mine: sand#mine: first kanaphan#ofs sand#i have so many angry sand gifs i've never put in anything#someone shout at me to compile them all at the end of the anniversary sets#the weird fandom version of sand that's all sad sweetie darling can't-do-wrong bores the hole off me#give me the slightly irrational yelly stubborn hyperindependent control freak with a penchant for arseholery that canon gave us#sure he has a habit of getting morose but he also has a love of stealing things from his friends phones to emotionally manipulate people#and chest kicking drunks (deserved or not. still weird. delightful but weird.)#he does a fair amount of yelling and getting in faces in general#we only saw the parts we saw bc ray brought him into the story. we can extrapolate by how much he was yelling at ray that he's a yelly guy#these tags are not the place for this i'm stopping now#anyway he's the loml#the way gif 3 is shot they should've kissed right then tbh
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Chip not having a gaping hole in his chest post-death is the hill i will die on, actually. I am on my hands and knees. Please I am begging yall. He does Not have a hole in his chest where his heart was thats Not how he died guys I'm begging yall (<- guy at the end of their rope /dramatic)
#GUYS PLEASE THE THUMBNAIL WAS A VISUAL METAPHOR#THE 'HOLE IN HIS CHEST' IS FROM THE DIVINE SHOWER THAT SLOUGHED HIS FLESH OFF HIS BONES#A WHOLE SIDE OF HIS RIBS UP HIS CHEST WAS EXPOSED BECAUSE OF THE SHOWER#BUT HE DOES NOT HAVE A GAPING HOLE IN HIS CHEST FROM HIS DEATH#HIS HEART WAS NOT RIPPED OUT THROUGH HIS CHEST AND IF YOU DONT BELIEVE ME RELISTEN TO IT#BECAUSE LET ME TELL YOU IN MY OPINION HIS HEART BEING TORN OUT THROUGH HIS MOUTH IS MORE HORRIFYING#AND ALSO COOLER TO ME#BUT ALSO ITS CANON AND THATS MORE IMPORTANT TO ME#PLEASE IM ON MY HANDS AND KNEES GUYS PLEASE THE THUMBNAIL FOR 109 WAS NOT BEING LITERAL#IT WAS A METAPHOR FOR THE HUNT FOR THE HOLE IN THE SEA KILLING HIM#PLEASEEEEEEE#cough. anyway. sorry i am just. gripping canon so tightly desperate for canon-compliant undead chip art and struggling to find it#im normal again carry on#unless you want to talk to me about this then my dms and asks are open i love talking about undead chip#jrwi riptide#jrwi chip#just roll with it#just roll with it riptide#jrwiblr#dragons chatting
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election so bad it got me back into just roll with it riptide
#caption is a joke#kind of#also ik chip doesn’t actually have a hole in his chest it’s just fun#jrwi riptide#jrwi jay#jrwi gillion#jrwi chip#my art!
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white lesbians (and white people that have no critical thinking skills generally) never should have gotten ahold of Hozier’s music and I stand on that particularly because they are incapable of thinking about Hozier as someone capable of sociopolitical awareness and activism in the same breath. If they can specifically look at the way his music is about objective “love” in the romantic sense, it can create a tunnel vision where they don’t have to think critically about what his lyrics are actually saying or even that he strongly believes in the power of activism through song. I admire Hozier particularly because of his storytelling and that deeply relates to his Irish identity and the levels of persecution and colonialism that are associated with that.
#hozier#andrew hozier byrne#please excuse me for being in a hozier rabbit hole the last few days#i’ve waited so long for this#and i had some shit to get off my chest#let’s keep in mind i’m coming from this as a Black American woman okay !!#:)
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jrwitober day 5!!!! monologue!!!
fun fact I have the whole monologue in my notes app and have since I watched the episode,,,, I have been wanting to draw something relating to it for so long,,,,,
anyway just a boy holding onto the only thing he has left of his old family :D
#do you think he was starting to forget his voice#you better not be putting objects that mean a lot to chip in front of the hole in chips chest for symbolism again#my bad#art#my art#artists on tumblr#jrwi#just roll with it#jrwi show#jrwi fanart#jrwi riptide#jrwi riptide spoilers#jrwi chip#captain rose#black rose pirates#jrwitober 2024#jrwitober#chip jrwi#chip bastard#jrwi spoilers#just roll with it fanart#just roll with it riptide#jrwishow#jrwi art
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there’s blood in the water, there’s blood in the water
kenny ortega, descendants / the crane wives, the crooked, the cradle
#descendants#this ended up being more about mal than i wanted it to#but it’s not my fault the mouse doesn’t let anyone else get any screen time 😐#ANYWAY. THIS SONG IS SO THEM#i might make some more weaves from this song bc it’s soooooo#but i’ve been wanting to do this for ages AND I FINALLY HAVE FREE TIME AGAIN YIPPEEEEE#i just think. when the cradle still burns like a hole in my chest.#can anyone hear me? can anyone hear me? etc#i just think. only being understood by someone you hate. someone who you don’t want to be.#but they also don’t understand you bc you’re nothing like them and you don’t WANT to be them#but the cradle will have always held you. you can never change that#descendants web weaving#core four#rotten four#jay son of jafar#mal bertha#evie grimhilde#carlos de vil#yes this is crane wives propaganda#LISTEN TO THEIR SONGS. PLEASEPLEASPLEASPLEASEEEE
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You have an exit wound where your heart should be.
#isat#tw gore#gore#in stars and time#my posts#luna draws#siffrin isat#art tag#isat spoilers#realized halfway through making this that people are gonna think this is about loop#and no! not about loop for once... thinking about siffrin and how becoming “siffrin” was their first change#how their old self before losing their home is to siffrin as siffrin is to loop#anyway hole in their chest with fraying remains but the impact is obvious
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