#there’s just a lot going on irl and I’m stressed but trying to get through it
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I AM LOSING MY MIND OVER THIS KDRAMA!!!! Omm she did not just say the term I think of for CoAi. Dude I kept thinking about the possibilities of this being a CoAi verse but I didn’t like it cause the guy is not like him at all. Okay I only freaked because she literally said they share the same fate, idk if it’s just the translation or what cause I’m watching it Chinese subbed, but the translation they used was literally the one CoAi uses and I freaked so bad. I was immediately like okay, this is officially a CoAi verse now. Even though I wasn’t on board at first, but now I get it!
Unrelated note: MY STEELERS ARE PLAYOFF BOUND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I really should write to celebrate but I’m so busy and when I do get down time I just so do not feel like working on things. I have like no days off. I barely have time to read/watch things (I guess on a sorta related note now. I’ve read a second Sherlock book and the man carries a revolver and kills people, or I guess criminals but still. So I’m guessing it’s the Batman code that influences the no killing, which I have mixed feelings about but now’s not the time to focus on it)
Update: I hate twitter, people are there to fight and start shit I swear. I just want to see more art of my ship but I see too much bs from canon shippers. Okay I guess I should buckle down and try writing while I have a little time *sigh
Update 2: I have like zero days off this week now, but I did start the next chapter of the sibling verse! That counts for something right? I’m hoping to finish that soon then start one of the new WIPs I promised I would get to
Update 3: it’s official, I’ve gone back to thinking all kdramas are just different CoAi verses. *sigh it’s my love of AUs and need for constant content cause canon gives me nothing to look forward to. I’ve long given up on hoping, but it doesn’t make it hurt any less when I see canon ship related things. It makes me spiteful, and I hate it because I really hate love triangles! They’re never done well! Anyways, I’m hopefully going to be done with the next chapter of the sibling verse soon
#cynful babbles#I still don’t understand the obsession but I don’t mind reading them#I’m going to try very hard to write when I get some free time next#there’s just a lot going on irl and I’m stressed but trying to get through it#I want nothing more than to just enjoy reading CoAi fics so shout out to those writing/updating I really appreciate it <3
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Do I miss writing for bnha, or do I miss the attention?
I think I got too used to people looking my way and let that be my way of judging my writing and thoughts. When I started writing for y’all I was getting back into a hobby I loved deeply and dearly but didn’t think I was very good at and I think I grew dependent on the praise of gaining attention and followers.
I know I’m starting in a new fandom, it’ll take time to get any feedback on my new content, and while I’m proud of my old content it’s not what I want to do anymore. I need to actually close that chapter of my life and put that book on the shelf instead of holding onto ‘well maybe I’ll get back into it’
It’s ok if I don’t, it’s ok if my engagement doesn’t go up again, it’s ok as long as I’m happy with what I’m writing and I want to get back to genuinely believing that instead of worrying about how my writing is perceived. I had the most fun when I didn’t care about it.
#vent post#sorry I’ve been making a lot of these#I’m going through a lot of stuff irl that I’ve info/trauma dumped enough about so I won’t drag it up again here#but the stress has leaked into my hobbies too and I’m just trying to sort my emotional so I can clear out and get back to enjoying things
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Change Your Mind - (l.jy)
➺ Pairing: fboy best friend!Juyeon x afab!reader
➺ Summary: You befriend your college’s resident fuckboy who’s been eager to get with you since day one. But after a rollercoaster of emotions between your friendship, he wants you more than you could ever imagine.
➺ Word Count: 4k (wow who is she?!)
➺ Warnings: Smut (18+, minors DNI), friends to lovers, mentions of partying, drinking alcohol, fuckboy tendencies (flirting, hookups, ghosting), lying to reader (at first), lots of kissing and making out, dry humping, oral (f! receiving), slight handjob and masturbation, unprotected sex (but he pulls out), aftercare, pet names (sweetheart, baby), a lovesick Juyeon
➺ A/N: I’m officially back from my break! Really wanted to take some time off and focus on things irl, can’t really say if the break helped bcos I was still stressed haha but anyway!This took me a while to finish up, felt incredibly rusty writing again but glad I was still able to do it 😭 Considering this as my late birthday greeting for Juyeon. Hope you enjoy this piece! Proofread once. Let me know if I missed anything!
➺ Network & Tag: @deoboyznet, and my girlies @aimeecarreros @snowflakewhispers @winterchimez
If anyone told you that you’d end up becoming best friends with one of the most sought out guys in your campus (and not to mention resident fuck boy), you would’ve laughed at their face. All your life you’ve tried to avoid befriending guys like Juyeon. A guy like him just generally gave you the ick.
You never understood how or why people would want to be friends with someone whose only objective is to get into girl’s pants and be praised for it. Not only that, but also playing with someone’s feelings and just dropping them at an instant was wrong on so many levels.
But here you are, lending him a helping hand while you two clean out his living room after throwing yet another one of his bi-weekly parties, which was usually code for “Please let me at least make out with someone tonight.”
It’s crazy how you consider him one of your bestest friends. In another world you both knew this friendship would never work out. You were both opposite of each other in so many ways!
So how did you even end up becoming friends with Juyeon?
Transferring to a different university in the middle of the semester was one of the worst things that could've happened to you. Not only did you have to adjust to a new set of lesson plans and navigate your way around campus, but you also had to sit alone during lunch since practically everyone already knew each other from freshman year and had their own set of cliques.
During your first week, you thought you could at least find a table you could sit with just by going up to the group you vibed with the most and ask politely. But you decided to just sit by yourself instead and avoid any embarrassing introductions. You refused to be known as the weird new girl (which you already felt like one to begin with.)
You tried to fight off the tears emerging from the corners of your eyes as you sat quietly in the corner of the cafeteria, slowly poking the food on your tray as you try to drown out the noise around you.
You wish you didn’t have to transfer and leave everything and everyone you knew behind. Yes, you can still call or text your friends, but you knew it was different than actually being with them on campus.
You were convinced you’d be alone for the rest of your years in college. No friends to hang out, laugh, or cry with. No one to go through the same struggles as you. No one to tell you that everything was going to be okay. You were definitely on your own until-
“Hey.” The voice suddenly snapping you out of your self-loathing as you look up and see probably one of the most handsome men you have ever seen in your life.
The way his eyes held so much love, how his smile could light up anyone’s day, and how his aura was something you never felt with anyone before. He was practically radiating sunshine to your already gloomy day. It almost felt too good to be true… Because what the hell was he doing here in front of you?
“…Hi?” You sit up straight as you try to subtly dab off the tears in your eyes.
“I couldn't help but notice you sitting here all alone.” The man gently says.
Great, the first thing he notices about you is how much of a loser you are. But before you could even say anything back he continues on.
“Would you like to come sit with us? We have some space for you at our table.” He slowly smiles at you. You hesitated at first, confused by the whole situation but quickly made up your mind.
“Uh… yeah, sure! If it’s not any trouble.” You shyly respond.
“Of course not! Can’t let a pretty thing like you be all alone on her first week here right?” He holds out his hand to you.
“How did you-”
“I’m Juyeon.” He interrupts you again. You tell him your name, your cheeks slowly warming up as your hand intertwines with his as he looks deeply into your eyes.
“Beautiful name for a beautiful girl.” He smirks. You felt the butterflies raging within your stomach.
“So, let’s go?” He waits for your response, but you shyly nod your head instead as proper words get caught up in your throat. Grabbing his hand as you stand up and follow his lead.
You try not to make a fool out of yourself as you feel Juyeon’s hand rest on your lower back as you guides you through the sea of people. As you two are walking towards his table he leans close to your ear and whispers,
“We’re gonna be best friends, I promise.”
And ever since that day Juyeon really did keep his promise. He helped you catch up with some of the lesson plans you had, guided you around school, and always made sure to leave a space for you beside him during lunch.
You tried to wrap your brain around the idea of how someone like Juyeon just randomly entered your life and swept you off your feet. At first you felt like you were on cloud nine getting the most attention and almost boyfriend-like treatment from him. But as the weeks went by you soon discover that his reputation actually preceded him more than you thought.
You see, it was no secret that Juyeon was somewhat of a playboy. Well, somewhat was an understatement. During the first few weeks since you became friends he would walk you to class almost every time. In those moments you couldn’t understand why people would give you such weird looks or whisper to each other whenever you two would pass by.
Maybe it was because you stuck out like a sore thumb as the new girl? You decided not to mind it for a while, pushing down the thought that you were just overthinking all of this… that is until you accidentally learned about his reputation and the real reason why he approached you that day.
It was an accident. You were never meant to find out anything about Juyeon. But during a party that he brought you to, a certain loosed-lip drunk friend (Eric) decided to spill everything to you, down to every letter and detail imaginable.
To be honest, it didn’t bother you when you found out that Juyeon was indeed a fuck boy. You saw the signs as the weeks passed by.
The way he would flirt with someone while waiting for you to finish class, how the notifications on his phone would show a name of a different girl every week, and even the subtle touches he would leave on you which were definitely not considered friendly but not perverted either. What bothered you the most was finding out the reason why he even wanted to be friends with you.
“He’s been really working up to have his way with you, you know? And I mean who could blame him? Have you seen yourself? You’re so fucking hot-” Eric rambles on to you as he tries to lean his body against the wall to keep himself upright, slowly inching his way closer to you. You felt your blood boil in that moment, completely ignoring Eric’s advances.
How could Juyeon do this to you? Even after everything you shared with him about your life, your struggles, your secrets too? And to think you were starting to feel like he could be a really great friend to you. But this? Hell no. You were not about to let some handsome sleazy guy use you like that. Not in this or any lifetime.
You nearly crush the plastic red cup in your hand before storming out of the house, intentionally pushing past Juyeon’s shoulder in the way as he tries to approach you with the most concerned look you had ever seen on his face.
He ran after you that night. He even dropped on his knees begging for forgiveness in front of a crowd of drunk college people too. Over the top sure, but somehow you knew his apology wasn’t just a one and done thing.
And after the humiliating lecture you gave him as well as the list of promises he had said he will be doing in order to make up for his mistakes, you decided to give him another chance.
In return of accepting his apology, you offered to help him get out of his fuck boy tendencies and be his “guardian angel”. Juyeon was reluctant of the idea at first because it would mean he couldn’t be free to do as he pleased but he eventually gave in. He had to because well… He did owe you a lot for lying to you in the first place.
Somewhere in your mind you knew this could turn out to be a bad idea. Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me, or however the saying goes. But Juyeon was different.
You knew somewhere in that deep conceited mind of his there was a version of him that was actually a good guy. A guy that can actually learn how to not fool around and maybe one day, find someone worth changing for.
You can tell it was a struggle for him at the beginning. But eventually he started to lessen the flirting, the hookups, the ghosting, and more.
Gone were the days where Juyeon had a line of women wrapped around his fingers (because they were too many of them to count). Dating was still a thing for him, but he had said and even showed you that he would take them seriously and not just move onto the next one as easily as he did before.
Eventually you realized over time that Juyeon turning over a new leaf was also becoming a struggle for you especially at parties when he would come up to you nearly drunk out of his mind, his subconscious would revert back to his old habits and he would act them all out on you.
His hands subtly snaking around your hips, your waist, how he would brush the hair off your neck and leave a warm kiss on shoulder. The way he would smile at you like a lovesick fool, never leaving your side as he attempts to drop his corny pickup lines.
Or the way he would jokingly confess how badly he wanted to kiss you. You knew he wasn’t in the right state of mind, that he was just being his old self. But it really did confuse you because sometimes it felt all too real.
Now you understood why someone could fall so easily for Juyeon. It was second nature to him.
You tried so hard not to give into his appetite especially in those moments. But it was becoming difficult each time since you the crush you had on him from the first day you met was screaming to be set free, desperate to overtake your heart and soul and just allow him to do as he pleased, no matter the consequences.
The many “what-if’s” that crossed your mind when you were alone in your room at night had plagued you constantly. Your walls were starting to crack and it was making you lose your self control around him.
“Maybe one little kiss wouldn’t hu-” No. You shouldn’t. The whole point of staying friends with Juyeon was to guide him to being a better person. It wasn’t about you or how you felt at all!
But… how bad could it be to become selfish just one moment in your life?
“Wow, I’m so tired.” Juyeon plops down on the sofa as you finish up collecting all the empty bottles and cups around the room. After the last bottle was thrown inside the trash bag you washed your hands and plopped right next to him.
You instantly close your eyes and let out a huge sigh of relief, showing the same exhaustion as he felt. As you stay silent and enjoy this quiet moment, Juyeon can’t help but just stare at you. He watches how your chest slowly moves up and down and tries to commit to memory the little details of your face.
You look so beautiful right now, he thinks to himself. As you always have since the first time he saw you. But he pushes down the feeling deep within his gut, having given up pursuing you a while back. But it doesn't hurt to look every once in a while right?
As soon as you open your eyes again, you catch him staring at you with a look in his eyes you can’t quite read. You chuckle at how silly he’s being and turn your body slightly to face him.
“What?” You ask.
“I-It’s nothing.” He shakes his head.
“C’mon, what is it? You can tell me.” You semi pout, and how can Juyeon say no to you?
“I was thinking-”
“Oh no he’s thinking.” You fake gasp and giggle as he playfully nudges your shoulder in return.
“It’s just- I still can’t believe how we ended up as friends despite everything, you know?” He smiles gently.
“Me too.” You respond, “To be honest, if I had known about your reputation before we met I would’ve rejected you that day.”
“Yeah?” Juyeon’s eyes grow wider as he scoots closer to you. He places his hand on your knee, making you become nervous all of a sudden. “And why is that?”
“W-well…” you feel a lump forming in your throat, the way his cologne invades your thoughts and has your head slowly spinning. Is it getting hot in here or is that just you?
“Because, guys like you just aren’t my type that’s all. And well-”
“Can I tell you a secret?” Juyeon interrupts you as he looks into your eyes. You nod in response.
“I haven't been with anyone else ever since that night you confronted me about my behavior.” He pauses for a moment. Dead silence filled the air as he waited for your response while you tried to grasp what he was trying to say.
“Huh? What about that girl you were with last week? Or the one you were texting?” You softly ask.
“I... I lied about them.” Juyeon looks away from you, afraid to look at your reaction. He looks up at the ceiling, pushing down any regret he’s feeling at the moment admitting the truth to you.
“But, why?” Your voice laced with concern.
“It felt wrong to be with those girls. To even think about kissing or touching them the way I would've back then, because…” He looks back at you, his hand on your knee now traveling up to your lap.
“…All I ever thought about in those moments was you.”
You felt your heart running a mile a minute. Eyes widening at his sudden confession.
“God you’re so beautiful it kills me inside.” he raises his hand and cups your jaw, thumb slowly stroking your cheek as his gaze turns into something more than just lust.
You subtly catch him quickly looking at your lips, your eyes nearly fluttering shut as he leans in closer. And with your lips just millimeters apart, he suddenly stops.
“But who am I kidding? I know you don’t see me that way-” Juyeon retracts his head, his face expressing a certain kind of sadness you can’t seem to properly label. You can feel your heart pounding in your ears as you watch him slowly slip away from you.
“Juyeon I-”
“It’s alright, I’m probably drunk. Just- forget what I said.” He shakes his head, but before he can attempt to get up from the couch, you grab his wrist. “No.” You sternly say.
Juyeon slowly sits back down on the couch and scoots really close to you, thighs pressing against one another. His eyes don’t leave yours, waiting for what you have to say or do.
“S-show me. Show me you mean it. Every word you just said.”
“You don’t know how long I’ve been waiting for you to tell me that.” Juyeon lunges forward and wastes no time as he leans in to kiss you. His pillowy lips feeling like heaven as he guides your lips with his, both melting into one another like it was always meant to be.
As your arms start to wrap around his neck Juyeon pulls you in closer, his body slowly falls backwards onto the couch. His hands desperately grabbing your hips to make you straddle his lap.
Juyeon whimpers into your mouth as soon as his straining bulge rubs against your core. His member throbs harder as you begin to roll your hips subconsciously.
He’s fucked way too many times to count but for some reason, grinding yourself onto his crotch makes him feel like an untouched virgin all over again.
He swears he can burst inside his boxers any second now if you keep doing this to him, especially with the soft little moans coming out of your mouth that sound so sweet.
Juyeon pulls away from your lips and starts to kiss your neck, mapping out his kisses until he finds the spot that makes you melt into a puddle. He knows he’s found that spot as your moans become louder and drag on longer.
He starts to wrap his arms around your torso and without warning, he flips you both over, making you squeal as he giggles at your reaction. His eager hands waste no time to unbutton your jeans as he continues to leave marks on your neck. You slightly push him away as you feel him slowly sneaking one hand into your pants.
“Wait-” You grab his wrist before he goes any further.
“Do you want to stop?” He waits for your answer.
“No it’s not that.” Your eyes close for a moment as you catch your breath.
“It’s- well- It’s been a while I've since done this. I- I might not be good for you.” Juyeon senses the worry in your eyes. He leans down to kiss the space between your eyebrows, his free hand caressing your cheek.
“Oh sweetheart… you’ll always be too good for me.” He smiles down at you. “You sure you still want this?” You nod your head instantly.
“Use your words baby, need to hear you say it. Tell me what you want.” His hand travels to your neck and gives it a soft squeeze. The act alone is enough to get you dizzy again.
“Want you- want you to touch me, please.” You look up at him so innocently.
Juyeon leans in to kiss you passionately once more, his tongue immediately intertwining with yours. He helps you out of your pants in the process not wanting to pull his lips away from yours until he tugs the hem of your shift and lifts it off, leaving you wearing nothing but your underwear on.
His kisses start to travel oh so slowly from your lips all the way to your inner thighs. Juyeon can feel himself pre cumming at the deep inhale of your panty covered core. The wet patch luring him in to kiss it and practically mouth your covered folds.
You let out yet another ethereal moan as your fingers weave through his hair. His hands slowly pull the garter of your underwear down, throwing the damp material behind him as he continues on with his ministrations.
Juyeon wastes no time and grabs the back of your thighs and placing them over his shoulder, making sure that his face is locked onto your throbbing core. He kisses your folds before suddenly darting his warm wet tongue between them, reveling in the taste of you before flicking your sensitive bud. He looks up to watch your reactions, which motivate him to keep on going.
“P-please…” You whine as he hums and sucks on your clit. Juyeon doesn’t even need you to tell him what you want, by the sound of your moans and the way your thighs slowly squeeze his head he knows you’re getting closer to the edge.
He nearly lets go himself when you reach your high without warning, the sudden burst of your essence onto his lips as you moan out his name was something he never thought would feel so divine.
He pulls himself up and goes back to kissing you, tasting yourself on his tongue has your core throbbing for him once again. Your hands hastily helping him unbutton his own pants along with his boxers as he pulls them down and kicks them to the side.
Your mouth waters at the sight of his impressive length, your hand instantly wrapping around his member as you stroke him slowly. “Oh s-shit.” He growls into your ear.
“Want you inside me Juyeon, want you to fuck me.” You whisper in his ear. He grabs your wrist to stop, holding his own member as he aligns it with your entrance.
“Don’t want to fuck you-” He mumbles. You pull away from him, confused by his words. His other hand grabs the back of your neck as he pulls your face closer to his.
“-Want to make love to you.” He whispers into your mouth. And before you know it he’s pushing his entire cock inside you, bottoming out instantly. You both moan into each other’s mouths at the stretch. Juyeon moves his hips slowly as he starts to fuck you deeply, making sure you feel all of him going in and out of your pussy.
Juyeon wishes this moment could last forever, but the way your walls grip onto his member like a vice brings him closer to the edge faster than he had hoped. Especially with how you’re moaning into his mouth and wrapping your arms around his neck so tight? He was a goner.
He’s never fucked anyone like this before, and now he can’t imagine doing this with anyone else except you.
With every deep thrust, you feel yourself on the verge of cumming for the second time. Each stroke hitting that sweet spot in you has you reaching for the stars.
“Fuck Juyeon, you’re gonna make me cum again.” You whine as the wet sounds you're both making has you feeling dizzy.
“C’mon sweetheart, cum on my cock. God you can keep cumming on my cock as much as you want I don’t care.” His thrusts start to pick up the pace. “I’m yours forever.”
Those three words were enough to snap the coil within, breathing heavily as your walls flutter around his length. You’re so caught up in your own head you don’t realize Juyeon uttering a string of whimpers until you feel him quickly pull out his cock and blow his load all over your stomach.
The both of you take a moment to calm down from your highs before Juyeon gets up to each for the box of tissue on the coffee table. You watch him gently clean you up before he pulls his boxers back on to find your discarded underwear and also helps you put it back on.
He hovers above you before leaning down to leave small kisses around your face and on your lips. You caress his cheek slowly as he leans into your touch.
“Did you mean it? Everything you said?” You softly ask him.
“Down to every letter.” He responds. “But… I think you broke me.”
“Broke you? How?” You playfully scrunch your eyebrows at him.
“Don’t want to see myself with anyone else now.”
“Oh really?” You raise an eyebrow. “And how should I fix it then?” He smirks and kisses you again,
“Let me take you out on a date and we’ll call it even.”
#deoboyznet#juyeon smut#lee juyeon#juyeon#tbz smut#the boyz smut#the boyz hard hours#tbz scenarios#the boyz fic#the boyz fanfic#tbz drabbles#the boyz scenarios#tbz hard hours#kpop smut
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warm enough .
synopsis; recovering from an expected breakup, you find yourself drunk at a nearby bar, encountering an unfamiliar girl who happens to know your ex.
trope; non idol!ningning x fem!reader, uni au, fluff, a little angst, a little suggestive, strangers to lovers, feat. kep1er members :3
wc; 4.8k
cw; a little suggestive but not really
a/n; fun fact this happened to me irl ! figured i could use my experiences for stories ! everything from the breakup to the bar kiss is based on my personal experience so lol have fun. also its kinda poorly written because i wrote some of it while on the plane + in china while being very tired and i dont feel like proofreading so im sorry ^^'
The breakup was supposed to be a mutual thing. A smooth and easy agreement between you and Jimin. You guys met in a cafe when your soon-to-be-ex girlfriend finally dropped the bomb on you.
“I still care a lot about you, y/n. But I want to focus on myself and my future… I think you should too.”
You wanted to speak up, say that you didn’t want to let go yet. Just… hold on for a little longer. Maybe it’d get better if you guys just kept it going for another week. Another month. Another day?
“What I’m trying to say is…”
You always hated this part.
“I think we should break up.”
Despite the older girl being the one to initiate the ending of the relationship, you always knew it was coming. Jimin was sweet, and you definitely did enjoy the little dates you guys had been on through the past year, but there was something missing. Every time she looked at you, it seemed like she was looking through your eyes into her own. Her mind was always elsewhere whenever you two were together, like she was searching for something you couldn’t provide. She never seemed to smile around you, never laughed loudly or hugged you with warmth.
You really tried to be the person for her, you really did; but it was apparent that she was trying to convince herself you were the one as well.
It was shown in the way she bought you endless gifts with things you said you wanted, but never kissed you, In the way she would allow you to hold her hand, but never reached out herself, how she couldn’t bring herself to say “I love you” out loud. Jimin was cold.
You agreed that this was the best path to take, how you felt the exact same way and that it would be good for the both of you, but the tears that nonconsensually left your eyes said otherwise. You still remember the last words you told her before you got up to leave.
“I really hoped it was you.”
There's a saying or the other. “Your body will know if someone is right for you.” You came across it while aimlessly scrolling on social media once, and you thought it was an interesting but ridiculous concept. Countless people would share stories about how their hair would fall out or how they would break out into horrible acne when they were with their past partners, only being relieved from this when single or with their “match.”
It was funny, and you didn’t believe one bit of it until it actually happened. The tightness in your chest that followed you every time you two went out together, the stress of wondering if she actually enjoyed her company, the way you couldn’t truly relax in her presence– it all went away. It all left when she walked out of your life, and you’ve never felt more at peace with a decision. At least, for a little bit.
The breakup was the easy part. It was the recovery that ruined you.
You were the one to establish a rule of no contact, even after you both expressed wanting to stay in touch. It was your only way to hold on to the last sliver of pride you had left after spending a year chasing after Yu Jimin. The rule was established to allow you some time to heal, and you hoped to return to the girl as friends once you felt ready.
With this in mind, you then proceeded to spend a month barely eating, barely sleeping, and not leaving your apartment unless you needed to for classes. It was difficult to be on your own after dedicating so much time to her, falling behind, hoping that she would see you the way you saw her; but after about a month, you slowly felt yourself regaining your footing.
You started going out again, talking with your roommate, taking time to actually care for yourself. It was nice. Perhaps your progress would have left you comfortable enough to move on if you didn’t decide to go out that day.
There she was. Yu Jimin. After an exact 31 days of no contact with her, you finally cross paths. Quite literally, at that– but she wasn’t alone. There was a girl on her arm. She was pretty. Blonde with bobbed hair and a soft smile that made it impossible to hate her. Jimin was smiling too. This is the first time you’ve seen her smile like that, smiling as if she found what she was looking for after all of this time. She doesn't look past her. She sees her.
Jimin holds the other girl by the small of her waist the way she used to do with you, and she kisses her. She kissed her. Just like how she used to kiss you, but not exactly. There's love in her eyes. A warmth you’ve never seen before. In her eyes, there is certainty.
And that was the day your world came crashing down on top of you.
You tried to act normal as you walked past. You really did. Your eyes remain glued to your phone as your knuckles turn white. Her eyes didn’t even meet yours as you walked by. Why wouldn't she look at you? Maybe she's wondering why you won't look at her. That must be it. You hold your breath. As soon as she passed by, you couldn’t help yourself. You made the mistake of looking back.
…Nothing.
As soon as Jimin was out of sight, you cried. You ran home, scaring half the life out of your poor roommate, Xiaoting, as you collapsed in your bed. Everything hurts. Why did it hurt? You wanted this. You felt better without her— the tightness in your chest was gone.
Instead, it was replaced by an indescribably painful ache. One that felt so deep within your soul it would never heal. Quietly entering your room, Xiaoting says nothing as she sits next to your limp body on the bed, rubbing your back comfortingly. The gesture only makes you sob even harder.
She's been with you through it all. From the beginning of your relationship with Jimin till the end, she was there. Xiaoting really was a good friend.
From then on, Xiaoting’s one goal was simple: cheer you up. She would cook at least once for you every day despite not being the best chef, and she would allow you to rant about the same things over and over no matter how overbearing it got. Honestly, you started to feel a little bad. She shouldn’t have to bend over backwards for you just because you’re a little sad.
So when Xiaoting announces that you will be joining her at the bar with her friends tonight, you couldn't say no. Both because she stated it, not asked you, and that it simply was the least you could do for her. Especially after everything she’s done for you. Before you knew it, you were dressed up in your best (slutty) corset top and cargo pants with some hoops and over exaggerated makeup to accent the look. Xiaoting, as your best roommate and friend, matches with you, and you two make a big scene out of getting ready together; blasting music, doing each other's hair, borrowing each other's clothes, and more.
Xiaoting’s girlfriend Yujin had made herself at home for the pregame, and your mutual friend Hikaru soon followed. With Xiaoting as designated bartender, the four of you mingle, laughing and cracking jokes as the warmth of the alcohol and one another’s presence left you with a warming buzz. Xiaoting was an excellent mixer, and in combination with the chasers Hikaru bought and the drinking games Yujin proposed, you were all ready to go.
Xiaoting and Yujin led the way, hand in hand as you and Hikaru trailed behind, drunkenly singing into the cold night air as you trek to the nearest bar.
Being a Friday night, the establishment had been as packed as expected, and you all squeezed your way past other visitors as you’re guided to a nearby table. Xiaoting starts off strong, ordering shots for the entire group before utilizing her combined charm alongside her girlfriend’s looks to convince guys to purchase drinks for everyone as well. You couldn’t help but laugh at the way the duo would bat their eyelashes innocently at lone men for drinks– but at least it worked.
Lazily, your eyes wander through the crowd, the alcohol in your system making it a struggle to see straight. Despite your inability to see properly, you still manage to catch a glimpse of your friends from the corner of your eye, and easily spot Yujin attempting to very publicly make out with Xiaoting as Hikaru struggles to pull her away. You stifle a laugh at the sight, and decide to leave the three to their antics whilst you look for someone to talk to.
It's been a while since you last struck up a conversation with a stranger. The last time you had put yourself out there was before you met…
You shake your head. No. You are not letting your stupid ex ruin your night. Knitting your brows in concentration, you scan the bar. There were plenty of pretty girls to talk to, but you were feeling a little intimidated. Almost all of them came with at least one other person, and you didn’t want to intrude on anything…
Your eyes landed on a lone blonde at the end of the table, scrolling through her phone with alcohol flushed cheeks. She seemed approachable. Worst case scenario, she simply shoos you off. Taking a deep breath, you approach the blonde, deciding to pull out your best conversation starter.
“Are you chinese? You look chinese!!” You exclaim, suddenly switching to mandarin in the middle of your sentence as you ask the question. Smooth.
The blonde girl looks as if she would’ve been extremely offended at the comment if you didn't just speak to her in her native tongue halfway through your sentence, and she quirks a brow at you, an amused smirk on her lips as she leans against the bar.
“Yeah, I am! What's a cutie like you doing in a place like this alone??”
You feel your heart begin to race. So far so good. “I'm not alone!!! My friends are just busy making out with each other and the other is trying to stop them!!” You also lean on the bar, though not as alluring as the blonde before you. More like you partially collapsed and partially slid on it.
She chortles at your response, “well that's not fair to you, leaving you here all alone.”
The sweet and somewhat sultry tone of the blonde makes (non alcohol induced) blush appear on your face as you laugh, “it really isn't! But whatever! My name is y/n by the way!! What's yours??” You scream over the music, sticking your hand out. It was an unexpectedly polite gesture considering your circumstances, and perhaps it may have seemed a bit comical as well with how drunk you were.
She giggles at the response, grabbing your hand then pulling you in, her lips dangerously close to your ear as she yells over the music, “Ning Yizhuo. But call me Ningning! It's cuter!”
You grin. Ningning was a cute nickname. You decided at this very moment you could trust this cute stranger with your life story and personal information she didn’t ask for, and begin to slur out.
“My friends dragged me out here because I was sad over my ex who moved on from me a month after the breakup even though we dated for a year and she's a big jerk for that even though I wish only the best for her but also I hope she dies!!!”
None of the words you spoke just now came out clear, and they seemed to trip over one another when leaving your mouth, but it was enough for the other girl to go from extremely relaxed to suddenly very heated. She stands up straight as her eyebrows knit together.
“To be honest I don’t think she ever really liked me in the first place! I don’t know!! Whatever it doesn’t matter!!!” You continue on, sounding absolutely pathetic as you let yourself feel through the anger you didn’t even know you were repressing, “I was stupid to stay with someone who couldn’t even look me in the eye when saying she loved me!! She was stupid to do the same!! Whatever!! I don’t know!!”
Ningning cuts you off with a raised hand before you can continue, “what the hell?! I hate people like that!! You're wayyyy too hot to be treated that way! Who is she? What's her name?? I might know her!!”
Against your better drunken judgment, you decide to name drop your ex within a university bar. Because that is always a good idea. “Yu Jimin!! She's a engineering major !!!”
Ningning’s jaw drops as she stares at you, almost as if she were trying to find the correct words for what she has to say next.
“Girl, I know her !!!” She screams out after a brief moment of silence, “we shared a class together once!! Oh my god I'm so sorry I didn't know she was like that!! You deserve BETTER!”
Before you could even think of what to say in reaction to that heavy load of information, Ningning grabs your face, pulling you into a kiss. It was a very messy one, her lips almost missing your own during the exchange. Seems like she's not entirely sober either.
Still, even in your drunken state you knew what to do. Your hands immediately find Ningnings hair as you pull her in closer, and you can feel her smiling as she grazes her tongue over the bottom of your lip.
You open your mouth to let her in and the only thing that you can think of or even feel for that matter is Ningning and her tongue. She… was really good at this. Jimin never kissed you like this before. Her hands trail down your back to your ass before she squeezes it, smirking when you squirm against her touch.
She breaks the kiss, her face inches away from yours as she breathes out, “you deserve so much better…” Ningning gives you a quick peck on the lips before stepping back, taking in her work with a devilish glint in her eyes. You stare at her dumbfounded for a moment before whipping out your phone, fully talking in your appearance. Your hair and makeup were a wreck. How did all of that happen just now?
“Done by yours truly~” Ningning winks at you, quickly slipping your phone out of your hand and typing something in.
“Wh— Wait what are you doing?”
“Giving you my number, obviously. My girls are gonna wonder where I went.” She hands back your phone and looks at you with soft eyes through her drunken daze.
“Take care of yourself, yeah?” Ningning kisses you one last time, giving your hand a squeeze before letting go. She disappears into the crowd of partygoers, a sly fox-like grin on her face.
“There you are!”
You feel an arm land on your shoulder as you jump, twirling around and looking down to see a drunk Hikaru with a slightly less drunk Xiaoting and an absolutely hammered Yujin on her side.
“We should probably head back home!” Xiaoting screams into your ear, “Hikaru’s gonna knock out on the couch and Yujin will be with me!”
Her words barely make it through to you, the music and the alcohol and the adrenaline within your system muffling out every word spoken. Regardless, you still nod and trail behind your friends as you leave, not all too sure what just happened.
⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚
You lay in bed, eyes practically burning holes into the new contact in your phone. “宁宁<3” is what it said.
So last night wasn’t just a dream. You really did just get a girl's number by doing nothing but spilling your secrets to a stranger. On top of all of that, your head was absolutely killing you, you swore you could feel your heartbeat within your brain. Still, that wasn’t important. Biting your lip, your fingers hover over the contact name. Should you message her?
y/n [10:59] — hey !! its y/n, the girl from the bar
y/n [10:59] — thanks for keeping me company last night :)
ningning [11:06] — i was wondering if u were gonna text me back
ningning [11:06] — and of course <3 jimin doesn’t know what she lost
y/n [11:08] — haha im flattered
y/n [11:08] — but u barely know me??
ningning [11:11] — that can change xx
Your eyes widen as you reread the text over and over again. Is she implying what you think she's implying? What if she's just being friendly? Can you even platonically make out with someone at the bar?
y/n [11:16] — are u asking me out on a date ning yizhuo ?
You wait.
Oh god. What if she was just being friendly?
ningning [11:18] — only if youll have me
You feel yourself blush at her message, burying your face into your pillow as you squeal like a high school teenager in love. It was embarrassing in hindsight, but.. it felt nice to be wanted.
y/n [11:19] — of course
ningning [11:19] — perfect <3
ningning [11:20] — dinner at my place tonight then?
ningning [11:20] — If youre not too hungover..
ningning [11:20] — i got the best hangover cures ;)
you can't help but arch your eyebrow at the winky face she added at the end but brushed it off, more focused on the fact that your drunk hatred towards your ex landed you a date.
You scramble to your feet and (metaphorically) kick down Xiaoting’s door, abruptly waking the girl from her nap as she screams out, “WO CAO!” She places a hand over her heart as she bolts up within her bed, immediately letting out a sigh of relief when she realizes it was just you.
“Girl what the HELL is wrong with you?!” She hisses, laying back down and throwing the blanket over her head.
You, being the ever loving and best roommate ever, respond to this by jumping into bed with (on top of) the redhead and squeezing her as tight as you can while screaming “I HAVE A DATE!!!”
Xiaoting shoots back up, your arms still latched onto her torso as she looks down at you, eyes wide. “Wait, are you serious?”
You hear a low groan and a hand slapping your arm as you roll your eyes, slapping the arm back as the voice of Yujin grumbles out and shuffles deeper within the sheets.
Both you and Xiaoting look at one another and giggle before she quietly slips out of bed, quickly placing a kiss on Yujins head before grabbing your arm and leading you out of her room. Once outside, she firmly grasps your shoulders.
“Okay, now tell me everything.”
⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚
You nervously stand outside of Ningnings apartment, bag clutched in hand as you look back behind you. Xiaoting sat within her car on the side of the road, keeping an eye on you to make sure this girl wasn’t going to kidnap you or the other.
The two of you (and soon enough Yujin and Hikaru) had spent the day giving you pointers on how to go about the date. They had thrown an ungodly amount of clothes your way as well as telling you endless conversation starters and compliments to give another person. By the end of it all your head was overflowing with information that you were going to forget as soon as you head out the door, and all of your closet was sprawled on your bedroom floor and in the living room. Still, the girls seemed quite proud of their work.
All of you had consecutively agreed on an outfit that was nice, but not too nice. You wore a plaid skirt paired with a simple tank top and an off the shoulder cardigan.
Holding your breath, you ring the doorbell. You really hoped this wasn’t a mistake. When was the last time you were actually on a date with someone? You couldn't remember. After a few moments of silence, you hear shuffling followed by the door unlocking and Ningning poking her head out shyly. Her eyes light up at the sight of you before opening the door completely, revealing her outfit.
She wore an oversized plaid button up, unintentionally matching with your skirt alongside baggy jeans and some bunny slippers you thought were incredibly cute. Her hair was tied up in a messy but charming bun, held up by a hair stick with small gemstones dangling from the end.
This Ningning was completely different from the one you had met at the bar last night. Though, you suppose you were a different person now as well.
“You're here! Come in come in!” She grabs your hand and guides you inside. Flustered, you spare a quick glance behind you, and you can spot the silhouette of Xiaoting throwing a thumbs up from her car before Ningning closes the door behind you.
“You look gorgeous today, by the way,” Ningning compliments, her thumb rubbing over your fingers as she walks you through her apartment. The gesture makes your cheeks warm, and you find yourself easing into her touch like putty. It was a touch that was loving. Kind. Intentional.
Her home was cozy, with white walls paired alongside warm lighting and paintings and other wall art lining the interior. There was an appetizing aroma that wafted through the air, and you had remembered that Ningning had offered to cook for you.
“What have you prepared for us tonight, chef Ningning?” You ask, squeezing her hand as she grins, “Well it's not much, I'm not a really good cook but I decided to make us some dumplings! A little basic, but it's the only dish I feel like I’ve actually perfected.”
“I hope this is the hangover cure you mentioned” you comment lightheartedly, and you sense a playful energy in the way she looks back at you.
“You'll find out soon enough.”
You once again find yourself quirking a brow at her vague answers, but she simply smiles at you innocently and you find yourself smiling back. It was hard to not be amused by her.
Ningning guides you to the kitchen, which was cleaned perfectly for your arrival. On the center of the table were multiple bamboo steamer baskets, as well as a large tea pot and a simple glass bottle with various native wildflowers as a centerpiece.
The other girl pulls out a chair for you, and you teasing grin at the polite gesture, “how romantic, Ninging~”
She rolls her eyes and giggles before settling down herself, instantaneously pouring you a cup of tea as she gestures at the baskets, “go on, dig in. I’ll be personally offended if you don’t.”
Chuckling, you open up the baskets, releasing clouds of steam before revealing multiple handmade dumplings with various fillings and differing folding styles. Your eyes widen, and you simply comment, “wow,” before taking the first bite of the food.
To say that it tasted amazing was an understatement– you practically felt like you were thrown back to the motherland with a single bite, and it wasn’t long before you were filling your plate with more.
The two of you had spent the rest of the evening getting to know one another more. You had learned she was a computer science major and going onto her third year of uni, as well as the fact she was from Harbing whilst you shared that you were from Shanghai.
“Big city girl, huh?” Ningning amusedly comments, sipping on her tea as you roll your eyes, “yeah… But I'm not rich or anything before you ask.”
The blonde feigns rejection as she snaps her fingers, “damn. I was gonna ask you to buy drinks next time we head to the bars, I think you owe me. ” She smiles at you, and it's warm.
You liked this. You liked how easy it was to talk to her. It was never this easy before.
Soon enough you had ended up on Ningning’s couch, browsing through movies aimlessly as the hefty meal threatened to send you into a food coma. The blonde lay comfortably in your arms underneath a blanket, her eyes occasionally fluttering shut as you continued to search for something to watch.
“Hmm, what about… Velocipastor?” The name completely throws you off guard, prompting you to click on it, skimming over the description as you feel the vibration of Ninging lazily humming beneath you.
“Oh that movie is really good, trust me.”
“... Really? Are you sure, Ning?”
“Yeah yeah…” Her eyes were already shut as she spoke, nuzzling in closer to you as you chuckle, putting on the movie as you wrap your arms around her, pulling her in closer.
Honestly, the movie seemed to be an excuse for the girl to be physically close to you– maybe get a nap in? You weren’t even sure if she was watching the movie at this point. Still, maybe it was for the best. Velocipastor was definitely not well funded within its production, that much could be seen. Plus, you couldn't complain about having a cute girl in your arms.
“Does your head still hurt?”
Ningning’s soft voice rings out, startling you. Honestly, you were getting pretty invested in the film, you had thought she already fell asleep.
“Mmm, a little. I don’t think your hangover cure worked.”
“Oh, the dumplings weren’t the cure.”
Your head cocks to the side as you tear your gaze away from the tv screen, looking down at the girl nestled on your chest as she looks back up at you. There was that all too familiar glint in her eyes again.
“Then what is?”
A mischievous grin curls on her lips before she leans in, connecting her lips with yours. Still a bit sluggish from the night before alongside a hefty meal, her kissing was a bit sloppy, but it was soft. Much softer than before.
You feel yourself almost immediately sigh into the kiss, and you would have found it embarrassing if she didnt guide her hand up your chest, to your neck, and into your hair, soon deepening the kiss.
Not expecting things to escalate so soon, you couldn’t help but let out a soft whimper as your hands landed on her hips, nails digging into her sides desperately as she laughs against your lips, pulling back.
“You’re really cute, y’know?” She purrs, using her hand to brush a strand of hair out of your face, and you can see the hint of pink spread across her lips as she smiles, drinking in the sight of you.
Before you even have a chance to respond, Ningning tackles your jawline, trailing kisses down your face and onto your neck. You try to respond, but when she starts to nip the side of your neck, the words you wanted to say somehow managed to melt into complete mush.
“Mmhmmhgh…”
The sound that escapes your lips allows you the chance to actually feel embarrassed, and you slam a hand over your lips, looking away from Ninging. Your response elicits another laugh from the blonde, and you swear you could listen to the sound forever.
Her symphony soon quiets though, and Ningning looks you straight in the eye, her gaze softening as she opens her mouth, struggling to find the right words to say.
“Look, I know we just met…” she trails off for a moment, almost a bit shy to continue, “but if you want to give me a chance and see where this goes, I promise I’ll treat you so well.”
Her eyes are filled with genuine desire for you, and you couldn’t help but feel… Isolated? Targetted? For the first time you feel like you’re seen, and you don’t know what to do about it.
She presses on, “I’d really like to see you again, and I know you’re going through a lot right now but I want to be there with you every step of the way. I want to see where this takes us.”
“I want you, y/n.”
Your face heats up instantaneously, and you swear your eyes were threatening to bulge out of your skull right then and there. You look at her in silence as you struggle to find your words, and after a few seconds you finally croak out,
“I… I want to see where this takes us too, Ningning.”
Her eyes brighten at your response, and she beams, pulling you into a tight hug on the couch before interlocking her lips with yours once again. You giggle into the kiss, and throw the blanket over the two of you as the movie on the tv buzzed on. For the first time, you found someone warm enough for you.
#ning yizhuo#kpop x female reader#kpop fanfic#kpop#kpop x fem reader#ning yizhuo x reader#ning yizhuo x fem reader#ninging x reader#aespa x reader#ningning x fem reader#ninging x female reader#gxg#gg fanfic#kpop gg x reader#kpop gg#Spotify#xiaoting x reader#yujin x reader#hikaru x reader
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Drawing Hornet everyday until Silksong comes out - Day 600!
Here’s a quick 30 min doodle to celebrate! :D
Man time really flies huh
Thank you guys for 3.1k btw!!!
And big thank you to those who have joined me in this wild journey of daily doodles no matter how long you’ve been here. Truly did not expect what started as a joke to make it this far lol
(more stuff I wanted to talk about under the cut)
-A few updates-
General Stuff:
Well, life has been generally pretty busy. And while that’s made it a little more challenging to do daily doodles as of late, it’s been alright for the most part. Some of you may have noticed though that a lot of my daily posts have been showing up as much as 1-2 hours later than the regular time. Unfortunately with all the stuff I’ve been taking care of lately, putting a daily doodle/drawing on top of the pile means it’ll be late very often. I kind of have an unofficial job irl now so this stuffs hard to juggle sometimes.
Hornet’s Strange Adventures:
Initially I was hoping to get a lot of stuff done for this game during October but some recent job stuff is making that pretty hard to do. I probably won’t be able to make any significant progress on this game until very late October and into November. So if you were looking forward to big updates on progress, it sadly won’t be for a while, sorry. Outside of that though, I can at least say that all the routes have been thoroughly planned out from start to finish including the secret route. This includes rewriting some choices that have already been seen during the game’s time on ssed.
About Doodle Requests
I haven’t had them open for a while anyway, but I’ve finally come to the decision that I will no longer be taking doodle requests through tumblr asks/inbox. As fun as it was in the beginning, I often found myself trying to fulfill requests on the daily and that was stressful. That being said, it doesn’t necessarily mean I’m stopping requests entirely. I just don’t really want to do them for free anymore. Since I’m on Hornet Journal Series still, it’s a long way away before anything happens, but there’s a likely chance I’ll only do commissioned doodle requests whenever they re-open. We’ll see as it gets closer though.
Thoughts on taking an actual break:
I’ve mentioned this a lot in the past both here on ssed and on my main blog, but I’ve been seriously considering taking a break. Like a real one. Not just a “I’m gonna stockpile a bunch of doodles and pick it back up when I run out” kind of break. Especially with the way life has been going lately (mostly positive at least), I feel as though I may have to retire from daily doodles somewhat soon if there is no official news by the time this blog hits its 2 year mark. Don’t get me wrong I’ve loved doing this for the almost two years that it’s been going but at some point I’ll have to move on from this whether I like it or not. Does this mean that activity on this blog stops altogether? No. I just won’t be doing daily doodles anymore. There’s a more likely chance it would end up being weekly, or possibly monthly. Just not daily anymore.
Whatever the case, that decision will be considered more when 2 years gets closer. Until then just enjoy daily doodles while they’re still here!
———��—————————————-
I think that’s all I can think of to say right now. Might post more thoughts on my main maybe?? We’ll see
Thank you again to all the lovely people that have been here during this crazy journey, you guys are awesome :D
#silksongeveryday#hollow knight#silksong#hk hornet#hollow knight hornet#silksong hornet#hollow knight fanart#hk fanart#ssed
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can u do a Miguel O’Hara fic where we peg n babygirl him and just spoil him 😩😩
Massage Therapy
miguel o’hara x reader
sypnosis: miguel is stressed from a long day of being spiderman and what better way to relieve that than by giving him a massage?
cw: use of y/n, she/her pronouns, pegging, miguel is babygirl (and stressed), soft dom!reader, beefy man getting a massage from his gf, afab reader, reader uses a strap, fingering (male receiving bc prep is important!!), miguel gets oiled up (i’d pay to see that irl), miguel has a praise kink that goes both ways, miguel calls reader mami bc thats hot idc., also u both speak spanish (miguel more than reader (had to use google translate 🙏 so pardon any mistakes.)), no specified looks for y/n, kinda short after care?? idk, big strong men r always submissive at heart, u guys were in the shower for a little bit, these r a lot of cw
jay i’ve been procrastinatin mb stink hope u like this xx
miguel sighed as he grabbed the spare key under his front doormat. He was sweating, his muscles ached and he couldn’t help but groan as he entered his apartment.
his mind was clouded with sleep and the intention of getting to his partner as his large frame walked towards the bathroom, already hearing running water from the shower he slipped in. the mirror was covered in steam and miguel quickly undressed.
he pulled the shower curtain back, a scream irrupted from the girl in the shower. “fuck, miguel!” she gasped, a hand was over her heart as miguel chuckled.
“lo siento, mi amor..” he grinned, cracking his back and stepping under the shower stream and sighing pleasantly. he grabbed her love handles, head handing low as the shower water rushed over him “te extrañé, mi vida.”
she hummed, giving him a soft kiss on the lips when he bent down. “i missed you too,” grabbing the soap she squirted some into her hand then took the time to rub it all over her body. “how was saving the universe?” she smiled
“día agotador. as usual. today was… more tame though.” he cracked his back before moving her under the stream and stepping back.
“jesus, miguel.” she cringed at his loud cracking. “when was the last time you had a massage?” she washed the soap off her diligently, brows furrowed as she tried to look at miguel through the water.
he sucked in his breath, the dates becoming to cluttered to remember. y/n huffed through her nose.
“you need to take better care of yourself if y’re going to be doing this spider-man stuff.” she reprimanded, clicking her tongue while her eyes narrowing at him, clearly upset from the way he was ‘taking care’ of himself.
“m’sorry.” he groaned quietly, snaking his hands around her waist. “let me help you, mi hermosa..” he soothed, washing off any left over soap on her to help get back in her good graces. his rough hands smoothed over her body with precision, gripping her ass when he was done.
y/n leaned into his touch, “one of these days i’m gunna give you a massage, hun. your knots have knots.” she could feel the stress and pain in his shoulders from where she was standing. “you deserve it,” she turned grabbed the soap and sprayed some in her hands. she roamed and mapped out his body, watching the way it glistens up his body with desire.
“i’ll keep your word for it.” he gave her a cheeky grin, fangs flashing.
you were always one to live up to your promises.
“okay, qué están haciendo?” miguel asked with a little chuckle. “i’m at your mercy, mi amor.” he was sat on the bed, no clothes on with a smirk on his face
“put your head here and relax for me, miguel.” y/n patted a singular pillow on the edge of the bed, trying not to stare at every bit of him. once he settled she grabbed the massage oil, rubbed it in her hands then began to spread it along miguel’s body.
in all his glory miguel layed in your shared bed, naked and lathered in oil. his face was smooshed into a pillow as y/n worked methodically on his back muscles. she gasped at the knots she felt under his skin.
“y’re so tense, miguel. you’ve been working so hard, hm?” every crack, push, and movement with y/n’s hands had miguel moaning with pleasure.
“joder, mami. you feel so good.” he sighed into the pillow, letting out a deep groan when she touched a specific spot. “fuck-“
“feels good doesn’t it?” her voice was sultry when she whispered in his ear, enjoying the way he shivered. “my big mans’ been working day and night. maybe i should’ve done this sooner.” she grinned, cracking a spot on his back that had him moaning loud.
“ah..-“ he moaned. “ay dios mío- yes that feels good so good, mi amor.” his voice was shaky, “that was the spot.”
“good, good..” she mumbled, her massages traveled down to his lower back to a spot she knew was sore. she pressed down and heard a good crack come out. every moan or noise he made was like singing praises to her. this was about miguel tonight.
“you know me so well, love. you’re like an angel right now-“ his voice and compliments became more broken the more he massage. “s-so good.” miguel could already feel himself becoming way less tense the more she worked. but there was still another tense spot he was starting to sport, and it was hard not to notice.
“jeez, miguel.” y/n snickered, feeling miguel up as she smoothed her hands over his back. “that good, huh?”
all miguel could do was grumble, “well-“ he sighed. “i do have an incredibly beautiful lady on top of me-“ he moaned when she massaged his shoulders. “so i’m just- responding to that.” he grinned.
“very responsive, indeed.” she teased, “want me to take care of that for you?” she smoothed her hand over his ass.
“i wouldn’t say no to that.” miguel chuckled, “love it when you take care of me like that..”
“i know you do.” she hummed.
…
“y’know..” she trailed off, grabbing the oil and dabbing some on her hand. “we haven’t filled this up in a while..” she traced and rimmed his hole, the smile on her face was almost contagious.
“you’re a tease.” miguel snorted. “but you’re right, we haven’t.” he relaxed deeply into the pillow. “makes me wonder what else will be joining us tonight..” he laugh was deep in his chest, grinning at the idea they shared.
“well, tonight is about you. wouldn’t be bad if i took care of other places then your back.” she pushed a finger in slightly before removing it.
“oh my,” he sucked in a breath. “well if the offers on the table, i would like the sound of that.” he chuckled.
“it is definitely on the table,” she peppered kissed along his back, staying in a few spots as she pushed her finger in slowly. “i need to prep you though first, okay?”
“soy todo tuyo, mami. do what you must.” his voice shook with a groan, relaxing more and more into the bed as she fingered him. he let out a deep whine as she curled one finger.
“m’gunna add another, okay?” she removed her finger and watched as his hole gaped slightly as she added oil to her middle and point. she slowly pushed into his hole again, his moans egging her on to go deeper.
she pulled out her fingers and right as they were about to escape she pushed them back in. “you’re so tight, miguel. ease up a little.” she massaged his thigh with his other hand, she fingered him slowly, moving her fingers in a beckoning motion.
“fuck- oh, cariño, te sientes tan bien.” miguel mumbled, his cock rutting slowly into the bed.
y/n snorted, pulling out slowly. she got up and went into their closet, shuffling around before finding a shoe box with plenty of things shuffling around in it. she opened it up and grabbed a particular item before stalking back towards miguel’s submissive figure. she fixed the strap-on to herself before settling back into her original position and spread his cheeks.
“this is going to hurt a little.” she mumbled into his ear, voicing soothing. “but you can take it, miguel. you always do.” she praised, rubbing oil on the strap-on then lining it up his hole. she placed soft kisses all along him as she pushed in, his breathing was heavy while his moans turned into soft whines of pain and pleasure from the depths of his throat.
once she was settled she pulled out slowly. going all the way to only the tip in then slamming in him at a medium pace in prone bone position.
he was slowly falling apart on her cock, fangs bared and claws clinging to the sheets and throaty groans unraveled from his mouth. each thrust was deep, prodding at his deepest parts. a hand was on his lower back to not only keep him in place but to hit farther, to that specific spot that had him screaming all those nights ago and it was y/n’s mission to get him to that point. she wanted to spear him on her cock like how he’s done for her. she sung praises in his ear, enjoying his pleads and fuss on how good it feels. how much he needed this. how much he loves you.
it was all sweet, y/n snaked her hand under him to toy with his cock, rubbing her thumb over the tip and using his precum to jerk him off. it was intimate, what miguel craved for.
“e-estoy cerca de correrme,” miguel stuttered out. “i’m close- so close, cariño.” his hips shook with fevor as y/n’s pace of thrust became faster.
“go ahead, mi amor.” she kissed him gently, slipping her tongue inside him as he started to come. “that’s it.” she whispered, finding joy in his moans as her thrust lackadaisically slowed. “doing so good for me, let all your stress leave.”
she let him catch his breath before pulling out. he whined at the feeling, bucking his hips deeper into the sheets. “roll over for me, love.” she kissed his shoulders gently, helping him roll over before taking off her strap-on. she made her way to the kitchen and filled a glass with water to give to him.
“that felt amazing, mi amor..” he stretched gently, sitting up against the headboard and drinking the water.
as he drunk the cooling liquid she used a warm rag to wipe wherever his cum sprayed along with the sheets, mumbling how she’ll wash them in the morning. she placed soft kisses along his back and chest, smoothing her hands over every battle scar and mumbling praises into his skin.
…
“did you enjoy yourself?” his words were soft as he pulled her close to him.
“of course i enjoyed myself, i was taking care of you.” she said in a light voice, kissing still trailing along his skin.
“mhmmm, you always know how to make me feel good.” his voice was hoarse and his hands were lazily trailing her body. “you’re simply the best.”
she grinned at his compliments. “are you trying to butter me up right now?”
“maybe, is my flattery working?”
“nope.” she chuckled. “are you aching anymore?”
“no, i feel a whole lot better actually.” he shuffled under the blankets with her, enjoying the warmth they shared. “gracias, amor mío.”
“for what?”
“por todo eso. i needed it.”
“of course, mi niño grande.”
…
“what?”
#⊂( ・∀・) 彡 =͟͟͞͞ ⌧#ast.fics#ast.nsfw#migueloharareq#spiderman#across the spiderverse#across the spider-verse#across the spider verse x reader#miguel o’hara#miguel ohara#miguel o’hara x reader#miguel o’hara x reader smut#miguel ohara x reader#miguel ohara x reader smut#miguel o’hara imagines#miguel o’hara smut#spiderman x reader#spiderman x reader smut#spider man#spiderman 2099#spider man x reader#spider man x reader smut#miguel o’hara oiled up#miguel o’hara is babygirl#hehe haha
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AITA for venting to my friend about my fiancée?
I (24M) have been with my fiancée (26NB) for about 3 years now. I try to avoid venting to my friends about it when I’m having little relationship annoyances because I used to do that for a while and it ended up with them just getting a horrible image of her because when good things happen that make me happy I would be responding IRL with my fiancée or gushing about it publicly e.g. on Twitter which most of my friends don’t use, vs when bad things happened I’d go to them to vent directly so they were only seeing the shitty moments. They would just always tell me she sucked or to break up with her which just wore on me because I don’t want to do that, they know I don’t want to do that, they know I don’t think I need to. Our relationship is super affectionate, has helped me massively in improving mentally and socially and in my confidence, makes me genuinely happy, and is for the most part, with certain problems we’ve been working on aside, healthy.
It’s not a communication issue or anything, I’ll address any issues with my fiancée directly as well and we’ll resolve it between us, just sometimes I’d feel the need to vent out my upset first while calming down or talking through what to say to her before I brought it up etc.
However this changed recently. my fiancée has always been a very physical person, she’s cuddly and loves kisses and just general touching, and that also translates into her playfully hitting me a lot, which I’ll do as well. Smacking each other on the ass when we pass each other, jokingly hitting each other’s arms (gently) when we’re making fun of each other, stuff like that. Very occasionally this will bother me (the other day she pinched my face hard enough that it hurt for like 20mins afterwards) but for the most part I genuinely could not care less and I take it as all in good fun.
She has never hit me in anger before, until today. She was playing a video game and died, and I laughed while sitting next to her when I saw it, and she just turned around and hit me full force. Like, harder than she’s ever hit before, and causing genuine pain. Usually I would just brush it off because like I said she hits me in a joking way a lot, but when I kind of gave a startled “ow” she just looked at me and hissed “Don’t laugh” through her teeth and she looked genuinely pissed off, and the force behind the hit just caught me completely off guard. It was also very very sudden because we’d been talking normally and light-heartedly, had even been cuddling a few minutes before, and although she was pretty clearly exasperated at the game (sighing, saying “oh my god” when the fight was going downhill) I didn’t think it was serious anger, so her abruptly whipping around and hitting me like that was so sudden and whiplashy I didn’t even have time to register it.
I have PTSD (C-PTSD? don’t remember what the specific diagnosis was) from my last relationship which was abusive in pretty much every way you can think of, and one of my biggest triggers that has been relevant in this relationship as a result of it is raised voices/anger around me (not necessarily At me, just like when my fiancée is getting frustrated or stressed and she’ll start hitting her keyboard or shouting and it’ll make me start panicking), but this is the first time I’ve had to confront being triggered by a physical violence thing. I started dissociating like hell so I left the room when she was distracted by the game and ended up slipping out of the house to call one of my best friends via Discord and lowkey cry about it
I genuinely don’t really remember what I said, the gist was just that I’d been triggered by my fiancée hitting me in anger and that I needed to calm down before I went back. This may have been a dick move because this friend is a mutual friend of me and my fiancée - I knew her first and am closer to her, but she recently met my fiancée in person for the first time and they seemed to get along well, and we’re in several servers and stuff together.
After I was done I went back in and my fiancée apologised for hitting me so hard. I said thank you and we moved on
But afterwards she confronted me because my friend had sent me a message after that basically just checking in on me and my fiancée had seen the message on my laptop that she was using to game. I usually have my Discord on Do Not Disturb when she’s using my computer just so she’s not bothered by notifications beeping at her constantly so I’m not sure if it wasn’t on for some reason and it popped up on-screen or if she minimised the game and saw it somehow, but she was incredibly upset with me because she said I’d made her out to sound physically abusive. I did explain that I’d made clear to the friend she’d never seriously hit before this, but she said that didn’t matter because it was still giving off that impression and that it was unfair because her hitting me was done in a moment of frustration/anger and I shouldn’t have laughed at the game.
I apologised and we dropped it but I do notice that since then she’s been on my computer/phone more often and she’s slid into a few of my friends’ (and I mean My friends, not ones she talks to or knows and not ones I’d said anything about this to) asking if I’ve ever spoken about her and if she can give her side of the story. My friends came straight to me about it because they felt uncomfortable with what they saw as being prompted to talk about me behind my back.
Reasons I don’t think I’m TA: She hit me, and I know she vents about me to her friends too, and although it does bother me that her friends don’t like me because of it (for I assume much the same reason some of mine don’t like her for, AKA only hearing about negative stuff) I’ve always maintained she has the right to do it. I think everyone should be able to vent to friends about partners or family and vice versa in private because venting is normal and as long as it’s not dishonest or just pure shit-talking them I think it can be helpful and even healthy.
Reasons I think I might be TA: I went to a mutual friend so she also has something to lose if this friend forms a negative opinion of her, I laughed at her dying in the game even though I know she gets incredibly frustrated and competitive in games, and I’ve never had an issue with her hitting me more playfully before so she may have just misjudged how hard it was.
So AITA for telling my friend my fiancée hit me / getting so upset about it or is it just PTSD acting up and making me overdramatise something that is basically on the same level as the joke hitting?
What are these acronyms?
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A/N: You all voted on this poll, and this poll, and this poll and after a LOT of voting ((again) again) , I wrote this for all of you :D Thank you to my first not irl moot, Bee (@swans-chirping-in-the-distance) for beta reading this ily girl 😭 Here's my masterlist!
Warning(s): Enemies to lovers trope, mentions of anxiety, night thoughts (iykyk), reader wants to strangle Sirius lmao, maybe some inaccuracies idk man, reader is a Ravenclaw, reader is in the year below Sirius, reader is a bookworm, reader gets stressed apt academics - don't even try to call people like that nerds, anxiety for this sorta stuff is really serious, reader snaps at Sirius, reader’s nicknames are sweetheart, love and angel, slowburn kinda- they're just figuring stuff out, reader is GN but written with f!reader in mind.
Pairing: Sirius Black x GN!Ravenclaw!Reader
•─────•°•❀•°•──── ʜᴀᴛᴇ ─────•°•☁︎•°•─────•
The halls were quiet.
��Too quiet.
And you knew that, but it didn’t stop you from traversing the halls of Hogwarts, relishing in the darkness that enveloped the halls, and ultimately concealing you from any prying eyes.
Stars twinkled through the windows that cast soft rays on moonlight onto the empty halls of Hogwarts, you should’ve felt at ease.
But you didn’t.
Technically, you shouldn’t be awake right now, and technically, you shouldn’t be in the halls right now, either, given the strict curfew Hogwarts has on its students.
Didn’t stop you from leaving though.
You had just finished a big essay for Herbology, and your anxiety had gotten the best of you, creating the twisting feeling in your gut, the one of failure, your subconscious whispering false notions and spiraling into possible timelines of being forced to work as Filch’s assistant because you failed to pass your exams, and-
Needless to say, you needed to clear your head.
Which is why you snuck out of Ravenclaw Tower, and why you were walking through the halls of Hogwarts.
And why you now found yourself hiding behind one of the almost intimidating, looming pillars in the hall, footsteps resounding through the hallways.
Your heart pounds - you would for sure be screwed if you were caught. Your mind races, thinking of countless possible ways your life would be ruined if whoever was there found you.
Your body feels like it’s on fire, buzzing with the urge to run and hide, back into the safety of your sheets; better to give yourself to the torment of your thoughts than be caught in a place you weren’t supposed to.
You curse mentally to yourself, until a husky masculine voice snaps you out of your mental tirade of self-abuse.
“You can come out, sweetheart; I won’t bite. I’m supposed to be here as much as you are.” the male says smoothly. He had voice of a man who thrived off his confidence.
Your body physically slumps in relief at the knowledge that it isn’t a professor. And then the tension came back, once you realized who the voice belonged to.
Sirius Black.
The boy in question was in the year above you, but it didn’t stop him from continuing his onslaught of pestering you when he could. And you tolerated it- knowing this was just how the Marauders were sometimes- but then Sirius did the unimaginable.
You were reading your book- one of mystery and romance, each inked word drawing you in more and more until the book was physically ripped from your hands, your progress lost in the process. To say you were furious was an understatement.
You probably yelled at him for 20 minutes straight, going on a tangent about how you never do that to someone and that he was an unsufferable prick, and yet all that son of a Blast-Ended Screwt did was stare at you with those stupidly gorgeous eyes and an even stupider grin plastered on his face.
And after that day, he had made a point to poke fun at you whenever he could.
Maybe running into a professor in the middle of the night wouldn’t be so bad.
“I know you’re there, love.” he says; you can practically hear the smug grin on his face.
“Shove off Black, you’re not supposed to be out either.” you bite, speaking in hushed tones unlike the loud boy on the other side of the pillar you were hiding behind.
“That may be true, but I’ve never been good at following rules, have I?” he teases, trying to rile you up. “But I seem to have caught the Ravenclaw’s self-righteous angel doing some misdemeanors of their own.”
You want to wring his neck- stupid Black doesn’t know anything- doesn't know how much your anxiety bothered you at night, and the moment you try to get some reprieve, you have to deal with him.
“Can you actually shut your mouth?! You don’t know anything about me, and you never will, so stop acting like you can read me so easily, because maybe, just maybe, people have lives outside of you and your thick head Black.” You snap, storming off from your hiding place where Sirius can see you, determined to leave for Ravenclaw Tower.
But before you can, he grabs your wrist, tugging you backward and into his chest- strong arms wrapping around you and securing your frame, effectively trapping you in his embrace.
“There you are.” he whispers.
You feel your face heat up, the proximity of the two of you was unbearable, his warm breath fanning over the back of your neck. You tense up, and yet, some part of you melts into his touch- and you hate it.
“What in the world are you talking about, Black.” your tone harsh but no bite.
You feel his head tilt up. The arms encircling you tighten as his tone turns thoughtful.
“Do you hate me?”
That caught you off guard. “What?” you stutter, taken aback.
“Do you hate me, angel.” he repeats calmly, still looking through what you think in the window on the opposite wall from the both of you.
You look down in contrast, mulling over his words. Do you hate...Sirius Black? Sure, he annoyed you to the end of the world, made your blood boil to the point where he could cook pasta with it, and made you want to rip the strands of your hair out, but somehow, hating him didn’t seem right. It didn’t sound right, the words hate and Sirius Black.
“No.” you whisper, deciding to look up at the window with him. “I can’t.”
You know he’s smiling when he softly says, “Me neither.”
You both don’t say anything after that, silence ringing out through the halls of Hogwarts, and after a few minutes of just standing there in each other's presence, you speak.
“So where does that leave us?”
#sirius black x you#sirius black x reader#sirius black fluff#sirius black#sirius orion black#sirius x reader#sirius black angst#sirius black x y/n#the marauders#mauraders#maurauders era#the marauders era#sirius black x fem!reader#sirius black x gn!reader#⋆。‧˚ʚ 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖈𝖑𝖔𝖚𝖉 𝖆𝖗𝖈𝖍𝖎𝖛𝖊𝖘 ɞ˚‧。⋆
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"I Can't Lose You" Part 3
Warnings: This one is bad... Like bad bad. Uhm so please pay attention to these warnings. *Brings out a scroll with a solemn face.* Descriptions of Blood, Emergency medical procedure explainations, Shock, Grief, Chan gets shoved once, (IF YOU WANT NO SPOILERS AND KNOW YOU CAN HANDLE THE FIC CONTINUE) Child Loss, Descriptions of miscarriage.
Pairing: Bangchan x Reader
Characters: OC Doctor, Stray Kids, Reader
A/N: I know the cut is very high up but I needed to be sure that it wouldn't trigger someone would get triggered by the story. I am so sorry I am doing this to y'all. But here we are. Enjoy getting your heart ripped out? I guess. IF YOU WANT MORE TELL ME!
Also remember, this is a fan fic. All of the boys are so sweet IRL.
Stray Kids! Masterlist
Overall Masterlist
ALL WORK IS UNDER ME AND MY BLOG. DO NOT TRY TO REPUBLISH OR STEAL MY WORK, AS THAT IS COPYRIGHTED UNDER ME AND IS CONSIDERED COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT WHICH IS A PUNISHABLE OFFENSE.
ANY WORK THAT YOU SEE ON OTHER SITES THAT ARE MY WORKS PLEASE NOTIFY ME IMMEDIATELY.
Previously:
You looked at Bin and Han and begged them to stay. Both of them looked at the doctor and said that whatever was happening, they weren't leaving. The doctor could see that you really needed them and as long as they were not in the way, it didn’t matter whether they were here or not.
After the nerve block and the procedure, the doctor cleaned you up and draped a warm blanket over you, while the nurses hooked up a transfusion and closely monitored you. The doctor asked for Bin in the hall while Han went right back to your hand without the IV in it, so he could hold it properly.
Bin tried to ignore it during the procedure but the look that the doctor had on his face when he was doing the preliminary exam was haunting. Whatever he was called out here for… it wasn’t good.
NOW:
Once both Bin and the Doctor were in the hall and closed the sliding door separating you from the bustling main hallway, Bin got that feeling again. That sick feeling that something was wrong. The doctor looked like he was trying to stay professional.
It was then that Bin noticed the doctor's wedding ring. He wondered to himself if the doctor was like Bin. So deep in love that seeing anyone else doesn’t just feel blasphemous, but it’s so out of the question it’s nauseating. The doctor began.
“Are you her husband?” He asked.
“No…” Bin replied. He could feel the bile rising in his throat with that one question. He immediately thought, If I was this never would’ve happened.
“Are you family?” The doctor looked at him.
“Yes. Are they okay?” Bin looked at the doctor.
“She lost a lot of blood, through something called a hemorrhage. It’s a rare complication especially this early on. She wouldn’t have made it if this happened at home. But it’s under control now.” the doctor said. He seemed to be trying to be as sympathetic as possible, making the next question sting more.
“Okay, and the baby?” Bin asked as he was trying to hold on to the possibility, some shred of hope that you and the baby were okay. He didn’t want the answer to be…
“I’m sorry.” The doctor slowly shook his head as he bowed his head slightly. The doctor looked guilty, like this was the worst part of his job, not being able to save someone.
“How? Why?” Bin asked as it felt like his heart twisted. He didn’t know how you were going to get through this. He knew you too well. He knew that the pain you were about to feel, the emotional pain, would spell your demise... Bin couldn’t wouldn’t let that happen.
“There is a cause-and-effect relationship that stress, extreme traumatic stress, like what you described, can cause a mis--” “Please don’t finish that word.” Bin pleaded with tears in his eyes. That word. He’s never hated a word in his life, until now. A word like that, even the word Death is kinder. To die you need to have lived in the first place, breathe air, feel emotions, like happiness, fear, love… None of those things happened for your child, through no fault of their mother. The same woman he’s staring at, the very same woman he always stared at.
“The fact that she went through the shock as well as the prolonged stress after that shock, and didn’t have any previous symptoms of that happening prior to that, rules out all of the other options.” he paused and looked at his ring. Bin could tell what he was thinking, the doctor’s jaw tight, I could never dream of doing that, then continued, “You know her better than I do. Will she need something to calm her down?”
“Yes… but I don’t think she’ll accept it.” Bin looked back at you and Han. You looked so out of it. Like you were and were not there simultaneously. He has never seen you like this. From what he could see it looked like Han was doing his best to distract you. He was playing with your fingers as he joked.
It was convincing enough to relax you, but Bin knew better. His eyes are always so expressive, if he's genuinely relaxed, his eyes show it. Bin could tell that Han was many things at this point in time, and worry free was not one of them.
“Would you like to tell her?” the doctor asked. That question made Bin think a little bit. If he did tell you, he didn't know if you'd believe him. It's easier to ignore reality when the person breaking the news isn't a doctor. You'd accept it if it came from the doctor.
“She’ll believe it if you say it… Just have the medicine on standby. Also, what do we do to help her? What’s next?” He asked.
“Well like I said her bleeding was extensive... I want to keep her for at least a full 24 hours, in case the bleeding starts again. I’ll also arrange for her to meet with the OBGYN during that time as well, to make sure we got all of the tissue out, that way there’s no chance of another hemorrhage or infection. Sounds like a plan?” The doctor asked.
“Yes… thank you." Bin took a deep breath before he went in, the doctor trailing behind him.
The doctor closed the sliding door as Bin looked at you, then at Han briefly. He lowered the guardrail and made eye contact with Han, who mirrored his actions shortly after.
“Mrs. Y/L/N” the doctor began but you cut him off.
“My baby. Please tell me my baby’s okay… please,” the urgency written on your face.
Han's eyes were set on Changbin. The minute you asked that question, Bin lowered his head, jaw tight, and tears were already beginning to form. When Bin looked at Han, he already knew.
The doctor looked at you and said “I...I’m so sorry.”
Your face showed nothing but confusion… you had just gotten the first ultrasound. You had it done a week ago. No, you saw your baby.
“Y/N” Bin asked gently. He saw the look on your face, and it killed him. Seeing your brain reach for any other outcome other than the one right in your face. He tucked some stray strands of hair behind your ear as he watched and waited for the understanding to reach your face, it didn’t.
“No, it can’t be, I just got the ultrasound done. No,” you replied.
Han and Bin looked at each other. Han's eyebrows dipped, as he processed and tried to brace for impact. Bin on the other hand, was willing himself to take a step back, knowing that you needed to hear this. It had to get through, that's the only way you could start healing.
The doctor looked solemn as he said, “Mrs. Y/L/N I could tell that you were and still are contracting. The reason why your body is doing it, from what I can discern, is because your body went through extreme stress and emotional trauma, when that happens this early, your body rejects the pregnancy. That does not mean that this is your fault, it's the opposite. It’s completely out of your control.”
Bin could see the cogs turning in your brain as you slowly started shaking your head. Reality starting to seep in. Bin wished that you didn't have to go through this. That you got the fairytale ending without the heartbreak. That you didn't have to face the death of your own child. That pain, anguish, and suffering.
The doctor continued, “There is an even rarer condition in which the body rejecting the pregnancy ends in a condition called a hemorrhage. It’s a technical term for excessive bleeding, in this case, it happened because your body is trying to expel the tissues in your cervix. Because it was so sudden, your cervix didn’t have time to open. When I examined you, you weren’t even at half a centimeter dilation, and all of that tissue was trying to be expelled. That was why I had to do that procedure, to get the tissue out so bleeding could be minimized. I’m so sorry… but you had a miscarriage.”
Once that word was said the scream that you let out was something that Han nor Bin have ever heard in their lives. It was soul-crushing. Both of them could hear your heart breaking, shattered on the ground. Bin and Han wanted nothing more than to pick up those pieces and fix it. They knew that they couldn't, this is a hurt they can't fix.
Han held you as you screamed, begged, pleaded… You looked at Bin. “Bin please, look at me. Please tell me it's not true… Please you don’t lie to me, I know you'll tell the truth pleeease.”
Bin looked at you, “I can’t tell you it’s not true. I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry.” The look of devastation on his face only sealed the fact. Bin has never lied to you so why would he start now? Especially with something as serious as whether or not you had a miscarriage.
The look that painted his face, brows upturned as his eye contact was nothing short of empathetic. You could tell he wanted to lie.
He wanted it to be false, that it was just some freak minor bleeding… that the baby was okay…he wanted it so badly… but you can't want something into existence.
That realization hit you in a split second as the monitors that were connected to you, measuring vitals, started going off. You could feel nothing but pain. The involuntary gnawing, pulling pain. The blood, the cold from lack of blood in your body…The physical agony was nothing compared to what you felt in that split second.
Your heart rate was literally too fast for you to register, pain surging through you as comprehension slammed into you like a tsunami. The baby is gone. Your baby. Your heart rate was through the roof and the doctor went to your IV.
“Y/N I’m going to give you something to calm you down okay? Your heart can’t take this stress, it’ll give out.” The doctor pushed the medication.
“I want my baby…Bin I want my baby… Han please, my baby.” You sobbed as you held on to Han.
All Bin could do was say, “I know you do, I’m so sorry. I’m here. I’m sorry.”
Han got on the gurney with you and cradled you. He cried with you. Prayed that it was just a nightmare. Han looked to Bin, only to find him trying to fight the tears that were falling down his face. Bin's soul was hurting for you, bargaining with whatever powers out there, to give himself up for you and your child. He knew it was irrational but if he could've, he would've.
As soon as the medicine kicked in your breathing started to slow. You still whimpered and cringed as you felt your body bearing down, still shaking slightly and cold to the touch. Han draped his jacket over you, resting you against his chest, singing to you, to calm you.
Every once in a while reality would crash into you again, you’d reach for Bin. You knew why you did, he was always there. He always understood you on a deeper level. Sometimes he knew what you needed when you didn’t even know you needed it.
Eventually he pulled up a chair and laid his head on his forearm, hand in yours and close to his lips. as he gently rubbed circles into your hand with his thumb. As soon as you’d squeeze that hand he’d squeeze back as he nuzzled into your hand. His way of letting you know that yes, this is the reality, but he is still here. Wordlessly, endlessly, he’d be here. Sometimes you’d comb your fingers through his hair, the feeling somewhat comforting.
You were so tired it went down to your bones. Sometimes only mustering a long blink at the pain. Eventually your vitals started looking good enough to transport.
The doctor came in with solemn reverence, like he was intruding on a funeral.“Y/N, we’re going to keep you overnight at the least, you’re going to have a visit from the OBGYN in the morning, okay? We have your bed ready so soon someone’s going to come to transport you.”
You just looked up at the doctor and nodded, “T-thank you” you hiccupped, “Hannie and Binnie are staying with me.”
“I’ve already put a cot in the room for them. I wish I could’ve done more,” he said with a sad smile. Bin got up and shook his hand, thanking him.
As soon as the transport nurses came to get you Bin said “I’ll see you in a bit. I just need to do something really quick.” you nodded and Bin kissed your forehead. He had to go back to the house. He didn’t know why immediately, just that he had to.
He was on autopilot the entire ride to the house, except for the red lights. He didn’t need to be strong at those lights. He’d scream where no one could hear him. Letting the pain out as images of you flashed. Smiling, then flashing to the scream you let out. Laughing, then sobbing in that hospital gurney. Cooking with him, to crying on Han.
His screams were from mourning, pain, and frustration. He mourned the baby and you. The pain for you, the pain of realizing all of the things that you won’t experience. The frustration of not being able to see it before. To protect you, guard you. He wanted to rip something… someone… apart. There. That was the impulse that drove him back to the house.
At the last red light, he breathed deep, not even wanting to. He used whatever force that was left over as he screamed one last time. Everything he did, your child would never experience. Every scream echoed, redoubling the anguish he had for the both of you. Culminating into this, silence as he turned the corner to the house.
To his surprise, all of the other member’s cars were still at the house when he pulled up. When he parked, he looked at the clock on his dashboard, it was 2 a.m. Had it been 6 hours already?
He felt his adrenaline kick up as he opened the door. He found everyone still wide awake, waiting for answers, but one look at Bin and they gathered what they needed.
Chan walked into the room from the kitchen and his jaw dropped upon seeing him.
“Bin…what happened?” Felix asked gently, hand’s slightly raised, as if approaching a wild animal. The aura on Bin wasn’t his aloof, goofy, self, it was the opposite; dark, threatening, dangerous. Bin’s eyes were trained on Chan, the closer he got, the more Bin felt his resolve slipping… Chan looked at him up and down, concern and horror written on his face. It was only then that Bin noticed he was covered in your blood.
His resolved snapped at that realization, upper lip ticking into a repressed snarl as he breathed “I’m… going to kill you.” He made a B-line to Chan. Felix, Minho, and Jeongin had to hold him back.
Once Bin realized he couldn’t get to Chan, he screamed, “Was it worth it?! HUH?!!” His veins were popping out under his skin as he struggled to get free, “Was it?! Tell me! You hurt and nearly killed the only person I’ve ever loved. She’s dead inside now, all thanks to you!” More flashes accompanied that sentence, him picking you up and watching you go limp, eyes fluttering.
Felix looked at Bin and said, “What?... Hyung..” Felix's voice trailed off, trying to process what he heard. Felix knew that if he heard Bin correctly…he couldn’t even complete that thought.
Bin’s eyes snapped to Felix and he relaxed to the point where all three let go.
“The doctor said that because of the severe stress and emotional trauma she endured her body rejected the pregnancy.” He bum-rushed Chan and slammed him against the wall, while everyone was either in shock or processing. Felix was the first and only one to try to get Bin off Chan. Changbin was just too strong for the younger man, he ignored Felix as he tried wordlessly to pry Bin away from Chan.
Bin continued staring into Chan's eyes, “The miscarriage was so sudden, in fact, that she hemorrhaged and almost bled to death because her cervix couldn’t open on its own in time. They had to scrape the tissue out just to stop it from killing her! And she looked at me to see if it was really true because I don’t LIE to her. Then they had to sedate her because her heart was going to give out when she realized that it was true.”
At this point Bin tightened his grip on Chan, “You are lucky that she asked for me to stay with her… If not I would kill you, right here. You are going to stay AWAY until or even IF she ever wants to see you again. I mean it Chan, if you come near her, I will end you. It’s not a threat, it’s a promise.” With that, he dropped Chan and went to the washroom. He washed off as much blood as he could and went to his room to change into spare clothes. He wanted to destroy everything in his room. His keepsakes, his picture frames of the boys all together. There was only one picture frame that he did smash to dust before he left his room… the one of himself and Chan, on Chan’s wedding day. He picked up his bloody clothes, stalked back out to Chan, and threw the clothing at him.
He was shaking with rage as he said, “To YOU… this could’ve been a game or a thrill, fucking with her heart. But THAT!” he pointed to the clothing, “that is the reality. A child is dead, your child and it almost killed Y/N too. Next time you want to contact her, look at what you did to both of them while you do it.”
Before Chan could say anything Bin was slamming the door shut behind him with such force that the wall itself vibrated. Right as he made it to his car Felix ran to him. “Can I go with you?” he asked.
“I’m not leaving the hospital for the whole night, you know that, right?”
Felix nodded and got into the passenger seat. The whole ride over Felix couldn’t help but to stare at Bin. He has never seen him like this. So enraged that he was three seconds away from crushing Chris’ windpipe.
He also noted how Bin didn’t seem to know that he was covered in blood until Chris looked at him. Even now he could see Bin’s grip on the steering wheel was so strong his knuckles were white. He didn’t know exactly what happened in those four hours they weren’t given updates, and Felix knows just by seeing Bin, he never wants to find out.
As soon as Bin entered your hospital room he heard you say “Binnie?”
Honestly, he could melt every time you call him that.
“I’m back…” he chuckled slightly… “And I brought some sunshine with me…”
The minute he looked into your eyes, you smiled just a little. That was progress. He kissed your forehead as Felix looked you over.
Felix is like your little brother, so the minute you saw him and he saw you, you both started crying. Han got off the bed knowing Lix would want to be with you for a bit, for both of your sakes.
This gave Han and Bin time to talk out in the hall.
“How’re her contractions?” Bin asked.
“They’re slower but still strong. The doctor says that it’ll be strong for at least 5 to 10 hours.” Han reported.
“And you? How’re you doing?” Bin asked. He knows Han has anxiety, seeing all of this and being as strong as he’s been is not easy.
“I’m… Out of all people, Bin.” Han shook his head. Han has known Chan the longest and he would’ve never expected him to do this.
“I know”
“Please tell me you didn’t hit him.” Han said.
“Nah… She needs me more than I need to beat him to a pulp… I don’t think he’ll be bothering her anymore though.” That’s at least what Bin hopes. Everything is so raw. A little over 8 hours before this you were at a restaurant to celebrate your 3rd anniversary. Now everything was all wrong, a nightmare incarnate and no one can wake up from reality.
“Hyung… She can’t go back to that house.” Han said as he took a deep breath.
“I know. All I know is that we'll do what she’s comfortable with.”
“Agreed…Bin?” Han asked.
“Yeah?”
“It should’ve been you with her. From the beginning.” Han looked to Bin, a look of understanding and empathy for Bin. Han could always see the way Bin looked at you when no one else was looking. Everything you said would be committed to his memory, even the smallest things like which brand of sesame oil you like best for your bulgogi marinade.
“I know. That doesn’t mean that I can’t be here for her from now on.”
Han just smiled and both of them went back into the room.
********************************************************************
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#stray kids fanfic#stray kids imagines#stray kids x reader#stray kids angst#bang chan x reader#im not okay#this one drained me#Trying to write about this is hard#I know it needs to be said though#keep tissues close and blankets closer#skz angst#skz fanfic#skz imagines#skz#bangchan#changbin#han#for the love of comfort#Descriptions of Blood#Emergency medical procedure explainations#Shock#Grief#Chan gets shoved once#Child Loss#Descriptions of miscarriage.
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ok, so i know i rarely actually post my own words on here but with the last 911 episode i’ve been wanting to say something.
i’ve been reading a lot of what people have written (and i’ve added my own thoughts in the tags of many posts) but now that i’ve had time to process a little, see what others are saying, and talk to my irl friends about it a little, there’s one thing that i’ve only seen mentioned like once and i wanna talk about some more. more people have probably mentioned this and i just probably haven’t seen it and these thoughts are subject to change and all that but here we go:
it makes me really upset how little of buck and tommy’s relationship we actually got to see. and i know that they can’t focus on a side plot like that for a super long time and that it’s not the bucktommy show but i was actually okay with only getting scraps until the breakup and here’s kind of why.
they’ve been dating for six months. SIX MONTHS. and they seem to know NOTHING about each other. and i truly didn’t get this vibe until the last episode (8x06) and i think that’s why it feels so off for me.
at the end of season 7 they looked like they were really trying to get to know each other both on and off screen, they were talking about important things with each other, and actually trying to have real conversations. and then in season 8 there’s just none of that.
i didn’t think anything of it at first because i figured they just had those conversations off-screen in the FOUR MONTHS we didn’t see. but with 8x06 it truly feels like they didn’t have a single real conversation that we hadn’t seen.
8x06 shows us that they don’t know about each others’ exs at all, buck doesn’t know how tommy views his sexuality, tommy doesn’t know that buck hates basketball, so what exactly have they been talking about outside of the silly goofyness of 911 subplots for six months??
tbh i understand having them break up (i really wanted them to be endgame but i understand if that was never actually the plan) but the way they broke up felt so wrong.
i would’ve even understood if the real reason they had broken up was because after six months they realized that they don’t actually know anything about each other but even so, until 8x06, that was never indicated. they had a couple serious conversations with each other in season 7 and since there were no hints either way, i had assumed those had continued off-screen.
to have a well-liked couple with a decent amount of screen time break up without showing us pretty much any of the actual downfall of the relationship, giving what felt like a shoehorned in reason for the breakup, and only giving us last minute hints at the possible actual reason for the relationship ending feels shitty, if i’m being real.
i know it’s just a fictional show and it’s not that serious but this really hurt. i hate how much i let this get to me but i really let this show get my hopes up. it was my main form of escapism and something that consistently made me happy outside of things in my everyday life that have been stressing me out. i thought i could sink a little further into it after the results of the election but now it’s no longer the same form of comfort for me.
i’ll probably still continue watching the show and i absolutely adore all the people i’ve gotten to interact with (even in my really small way of interacting) through this fandom but 911 does feel a little tainted for me at the moment.
i’m probably missing some stuff here and a lot of this is just rambling but that’s it for now, i hope you are all doing okay and hanging on to whatever you can to make this a little easier <3
#i’m just trying to make sense of this whole thing for me#and i hope you all are doing okay#or as okay as you can be#911#911 abc#bucktommy#owl speaks#tevan
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HII!!! can i request Venture with pregnant reader? how will they react finding out shes pregnant? headcanons on them taking care of her throughout the pregnancy, giving birth, etc? Even them taking care of the baby later on!! and Venture parent headcanons in general!! sorry if it’s a lot, i’m just thinking of Venture as a parent!! SO CUTE!!! love ur writing btw!!
OMG AWWW YES! this is so cute! and it’s not a lot dwdw!! and thank you! i’m glad you enjoy reading my work!
Venture x Pregnant! Reader
Overwatch
2nd POV
•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•
- i want to start this off by giving a quick headcanon!!(idk if ive said it already) but i TOTALLY believe that sloan has a huge family, and i mean HUGE. bunch of brothers, sisters, cousins, nieces and nephews, so they’ve ‘experienced’ what it’s like to have someone who’s pregnant
- but anyways, into the request!
- so! a few weeks after the two of you got 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂, sloan noticed that you were a little…off?
- something didn’t sit right with them, but they kind of shrugged it off to ‘it’s been a while, and we both have shitty sleep schedules; it’s probably that’ and they went to work
- you knew something was wrong, so you took a pregnancy test from the bathroom
- ^ the girls in sloan’s family gave some tests for you just in case
- but anyways, you took the test, patiently waited the three minutes and-
- you were pregnant.
- sloan got home a few hours later, and you told them you made a discovery while they were at work. sloan’s mind immediately clicked to you finding a geo in the backyard but they closed their eyes, and opened them to reveal a positive pregnancy test!
- they were so happy!! started crying tears of joy while they peppered you in kisses and engulfed you into so many hugs!
- when you’d have really bad morning sickness, sloan would hold your hair back and just sit with you on the bathroom floor
- they know you’re going through a lot, and you’re going to go through more as the months go on, so they’ll accommodate to your every need:)
- one of my irl pookies gave me a headcanon😳 she said, “venture the typa parent to act ike theyre calm and collected the whole pregnancy but constantly freak out and worry about their partner” WHICH I SO AGREE ON!
- even though sloan went through this multiple times, they’re so stressed out because it’s YOU! their partner!!
- you’d be in bed, upset about something then sloan will come to the rescue!
“don’t worry, i’ll go get you something!” *stands completely still*
*in disbelief while tears are STREAMING down your face* “WHAT ARE YOU DOING??”
“I-I DONT KNOWWW!”
- they panic so much cause they don’t want to make you more upset or anything:)
- sloan tries their HARDEST to not make you mad at them, but it just ends up with you crying because of how sweet they are towards you
- whenever you have a new craving, sloan is so down to try it. a good 70% of the times they like them! but the other 30%…never again.
- have you seen those cute gender reveals where it’s just the parents and they cut the cake? yall did that
- this and this tiktok are MY FAVORITE GENDER REVEALS EVERRR!! and it’s EXACTLY how i imagine it!!(kinda)
- the two of you were somewhere pretty, like a lake, flower garden or a beautiful meadow! and you two had the cake in front of you, the glasses in hand.
- little oneshot real quick for this😳:
“you ready?” sloan muttered, hands shaking as they held the beautiful champagne glass that was going to cut the cake to reveal the gender.
you nodded faintly, heart hammering against your chest. your hands shook violently, your wedding ring tapping against the glass, a faint ding sound ringed through the glass.
the two of you hovered over the cake, both glasses clinking together.
“i’m so scared.” you sighed, your voice cracking as tears stung your eyes.
sloan brought their fee hand up to your face, caressing your cheek before letting their hand rest on your arm. “it’s okay!” they reassured with a chuckle, rubbing their thumb across your forearm.
sighing, you nodded, the two of you closing your eyes and pressing down into the cake, pulling your glasses up once they were filled with cake.
“okay.” sloan chuckled, rolling their shoulders. “3…2…1…”
the two of you opened your eyes, you bursting into tears while you dropped your glass into your lap, the frosting staining your dress.
sloan let out a breath, eyes wide as they examined the glass in their hands before leaning it against the cake, pulling you into a hug as they two of you cried tears of joy.
it was a girl.
- once sloan found out you two were having a baby girl, they went on an outfit shopping spree; buying everything that they found cute for her.
- months have past and you were going to name your baby girl, d/n (daughter name), but, you were trying to figure out what she was going to call sloan when she starts talking
- you were looking for gender neutral titles for your lover, before sloan walked into the living room and sat next to you, unaware of what you were doing
- they turned to you the same time you turned to them, a sad look on your face as you open your mouth but sloan beats you to the punch
“…i’m going to be a dad.”
- your due date inching closer, the stress was getting to both of you. both of you were ready to see this baby but, what the fuck do you do?
- sloan backed a backpack full of necessities and left it in the car a month prior, so you were good there. the nursery was all set with everything the baby needed, baby monitor was also installed, stroller was purchased- the list went on
- then, it happened.
- as soon as the words “my water broke” left your lips, sloan suddenly locked in and knew what to do
- it all happened so fast, one minute you were in your apartment then the next you were in the hospital
- while sloan and you were waiting for you to be fully dilated, they helped you do some stretches and get your mind somewhat off of the pain, which helped a ton
- they held your hand the entire time, not letting go at all. they held your hand when you were getting your medication for the pain relief, and when you were pushing- they were at your side the whole time
- when you were pushing, you were expecting them to pass out, but they didn’t (you weren’t super surprised since they’ve been through this before)
- constant words of encouragement from them! they’d also give you small pecks on the lips during your breaks before kissing the top of your head
- then, many hours of pushing, the baby had arrived
- sloan started bawling the second they saw her, obviously letting you hold her first as the two of you cried happily together
- when you passed d/n off to sloan, you were a little nervous, but they did fantastic holding your baby
- while you were getting some sleep after the birth, they were just holding her. their mind was blown that they were a father, a parent!
- when they were getting sleepy too, they joined you on the small ass hospital bed, but they let you be practically on top of them, so it was a win in their book LMAO
- i think that’s all the pregnancy head canons😓 so let’s dive into the general parenting headcanons!
- they’re 100% playing in the dirt with your daughter, looking for rocks, worms, and other critters and surprises
- d/n definitely got sloan’s love for rocks and nature, she’s constantly begging her father if they can go outside
- you two hardly get mad at her, since she’s such an easy kid
- sloan deffo limited the amount of trips for work, only going on week long trips instead of month+ trips, but as she got older and more mature, they started going back to work again
- the wayfinder’s absolutely ADORE HER! she calls everyone aunty/uncle there and they treat her like she’s family(she basically is)
- if you and sloan want to go on a date night, sloan would drop her off and they’d happily take her in:)
- as she got older, sloan and her got more into archeology; them telling her all about their adventures and even about overwatch too!
- oh, and (mostly) everyone at overwatch loves her too
- rein, ana, and sigma have honorably taken grandparent titles
- they would so want to give her a quinceañera when she’s 15 (since mexican from sloan), but they won’t force her to have one if she doesn’t want one
- they’ll speak spanish to/around her, that way she can get familiar with the language and she can communicate with family members who only speak spanish
- and you do the same too! if you speak another language, that is
- they’re the overprotective parent when it comes to dating/boys
- if she wanted to have a sleepover with 10 friends, they’d so let her! sure, you’d probably get a little upset, but sloan would help feed them and clean up after them:)
- but, overall, they just really love their little girl. they’re so happy to have a family, especially with you!
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THIS WAS SO FUN TO WRITE!! thank you for requesting!! i hope you enjoyed!:)
#fanfic#request are welcome#reading#overwatch#characterxreader#venture overwatch#venture ow2#overwatch2#venture#overwatch venture#venture x reader#sloane x reader#sloan x reader#sloane cameron#sloan cameron#headcanon#hauntingkiki
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Breathe With Me Part I
Summary: After an overwhelming time, your resolve finally crumbles and Leia, Han, and Luke are there to give you all the support you need to get you back on your feet. Pairing: Luke Skywalker x Gender Neutral!Reader Warnings: reader is very overwhelmed, sleep deprived, and crying. A/N: Writing this mainly for myself since the family dog passed away last night and I'm moving soon and just very stressed in general. But hopefully it helps anyone who needs it. Might do a part 2 of Luke just pampering you on a day off/vacation. I tried to write it so you can easily picture your favorite era of Luke here (ANH, ESB, ROTJ, post-ROTJ, maybe even right before the events of TBOBF, etc.). See my full masterlist here. Tagging Taco Squad cuz I feel like we could all use this right now @kaleidoscope1967eyes @masterlukessaber @coffeeorsomething-irl
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You closed your eyes and sighed from your spot on the Falcon’s bunk, wiping the tears from your cheek with your sleeve. “I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t apologize,” Leia said next to you, squeezing your hand. “You’ve been through a lot lately. Just let it out.” She rubbed a soothing hand across the back of your shoulders.
Han leaned against the adjacent row of bunks with an unsure, but sympathetic look on his face. He wandered towards the door, holding his wrist comm close to his mouth. “Kid, are you almost here? We could really use you in here.”
Luke’s out-of-breath voice floated through the static. “Almost there! I’m running as fast as I can. Just give me another few minutes.”
Han meandered back over and gave your shoulder a firm squeeze. “He should be here any minute.”
You nodded as more tears fell, sniffling so hard you triggered a coughing fit.
“Here.” Leia reached into one of the storage compartments beneath the bottom bunk and pulled out a box of tissues.
“T-thanks,” you mumbled before blowing your nose hard.
“Careful, kiddo,” Han said with a lopsided grin. “Make sure your nose stays attached to the rest of you.”
You gave a watery chuckle just as Luke skidded to a halt in the doorway. His hair was windswept and damp from the planet’s rainstorm, the shoulders of his jacket dotted with droplets. He met your eyes and sighed, hurrying over to you and squeezing Han’s forearm as he passed by.
“Kay, Chewie and I are gonna get her ready for takeoff,” Han said, speeding out the door. The “waterworks,” as he called them, no matter how justified, always seemed to put him at a bit of a disadvantage—although you appreciated him trying his best anyway.
Leia gave you a tight hug. “We’ll be back at base soon. I’ll make sure command gives you and Luke a day off so you two can relax and recoup.” She met Luke’s eyes and, at his nod, left and closed the door to the bunks behind her.
Luke nestled himself against you, pulling your shoulders to lean against him. “Hey, starflower, shhh,” he murmured as more tears spilled over. You leaned your head against his shoulder and he gently kissed your forehead before smoothing a hand over your hair. “I’m here. I’ve got you.”
You hiccupped through another sob, grateful for how he pulled your bridal style into his lap. Burying your face into the warm skin of his neck, you clung to him as you felt the ship thrum to life and vibrate the bunk underneath you. You weaved your fingers into the soft hair at the nape of his neck, letting the silkiness comfort you as you struggled to find your breath.
“Hey, breathe with me. You’re safe. You’re okay. I’m gonna help you through this, okay?” Luke’s hand ran up and down the length of your spine while the other gently massaged the back of your head. “In for four seconds through your nose, hold for four, then out for eight through your mouth, all right? In…hold…out…good, keep going. In…hold…out.”
You did this several more times before shuddering out another exhale. “My chest feels so tight.”
“Concentrate on how your hands or feet feel,” Luke murmured in your ear, still tracing soothing shapes on top of your clothes. He pulled back enough to press his forehead to yours and grabbed your hand, pressing your palm flat against his chest. His heartbeat thrummed under your fingers. “Breathe in time with me. You’re all right. In—out—in—out. Good, see? You’ve got it.”
You poured all your concentration into the sensations of your hands—how your muscles felt, the soft fabric of Luke’s jacket in one hand and the contour and warmth of his chest under the other. The ship hummed subtly around you as a relaxing accompaniment to Luke’s steady breathing. After several minutes, you felt him press a gentle kiss to your lips that you greedily returned.
He wiped another tear from your cheek before gently stroking your skin. “I’m s-sorry,” you warbled.
“Hey, none of that. You’ve done nothing wrong.”
“But this isn’t your job—”
“How many times have you been there for me? And I don’t take care of you because I feel like I have to. It’s because I want to—hey, look at me.” He cupped your jaw and neck in his large hand and pulled back to look into your eyes, the striking blue filled with nothing but concern and warmth. “Taking care of you is not a job. It’s a privilege. I want to be here.”
You felt the tears building again, but this time for another reason. Squeezing him firmly, you buried your face in his neck again. “I love you.”
“I love you, too, so much,” he replied, holding you just as tight and nuzzling into your neck. He ran the tip of his nose up the side of your neck and across your jaw where it connected with your ear. “Have you gotten any sleep?”
You pulled back to meet his gaze. “Um…no, not really.”
“Well, we’ve got a while till we’re back at base, so why don’t we try and get some rest? Then once we’re back and have gotten the mission report out of the way, we can either have a relaxing day on base or I can fly us somewhere for a few days.”
“But Leia—”
“She’ll survive a few days without us.” He scooted back further onto the mattress with you still in his arms, shimmying out of his jacket and wrapping it around your shoulders before laying down. You lay beside him, tangling your legs with his and using his chest as a pillow as he wrapped one arm around your waist and the other around your shoulders. His hand slid gently from your shoulder to massage the knots in your neck again as he kissed your cheek. You felt a sudden wave of calmness wash over you like water and knew he was calling on the Force to help you balance yourself. With the sudden serenity came an overwhelming wave of exhaustion and you felt your eyes begin to droop, letting out a small, contented moan as the back of Luke’s fingers brushed your cheek before sliding down the slope of your neck to your shoulder. His other hand worked its way under your shirt to make relaxing circles in the skin there. “Just sleep,” he murmured. “I’ll wake you up once we’re back home.”
Half asleep, you murmured, “You are my home.”
You felt his lips press against yours. “And you’re mine, sweetheart.”
#star wars#luke skywalker#leia organa#princess leia#han solo#luke skywalker x reader#luke skywalker x gn!reader#star wars x reader#luke skywalker imagine#star wars imagine#luke skywalker fanfiction#star wars fanfiction#luke skywalker fluff#luke skywalker comfort
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Thinking about the post I made about an omega getting transported to a universe without the a/b/o dynamics (unfortunately can’t reblog that original post with this addition cause both posts are gonna be scheduled) and I think a situation like that would really help give me what I want out of omegaverse
What I really want out of omegaverse is all the world building stuff, how a society and its people would function in that situation, but most of the time it’s a reimagining of intense misogyny, which is not my cup of tea
But I think a situation where a person goes from a society like that (without the omega hate) to a society where a/b/o isn’t a thing, would really highlight how different things would be
Technically the omegaverse society is different depending on the author, so I’m making up my own version, and adding in aliens:
Heats and ruts can cause health problems, the stress it puts on your body every month can lead to a ton of issues down the road, and honestly you just don’t wanna have your life be disrupted that much, so going on suppressants is common, especially for people who are single
But going off of suppressants can be deadly, and sometimes your suppressants can start being less effective as time goes on, so calling out of whatever to make sure you can go to the doctors and have that all figured out is not only normalized but also encouraged
(But now you’re suddenly in a universe where Humans don’t go through all that and you’re running out of suppressants and you’re just hoping the scientists, Vulcan ones who are strangely extremely interested in your heat suppressants and keep asking you about rut suppressants?, can quickly figure out how to make more)
Depending on the situation, scent blockers can be used (mostly in the maternity ward, so the medical staff don’t accidentally get their scent on the kids and accidentally cause the parents to instinctively think they’re trying to take away their kids), but it’s more of a personal preference
Alphas, omegas, and even betas can scent mark things, but alpha scents are usually just more noticeable because they tend to be more territorial and aggressive, doesn’t mean that omegas and betas aren’t scent marking things for the same reason, so just because you can’t smell an alpha around, doesn’t mean you aren’t encroaching on someone’s space, you can also tell people’s emotions from their scent
(You hate that in this new universe, no one can smell that you claimed stuff and you have to remember to verbalize it, you also hate that the only ones who can smell you are aliens who have to be weird about it because they aren’t used to Humans smelling like that)
I can never think of anything cool for betas and I hate that it’s usually just like “betas are usually just how Humans are irl”, so what, they don’t have cis guys that can get pregnant and cis women who can sire kids? boring! but I can’t think of anything fun for them!
Claiming bites are a thing, but mostly a thing of the past, still, you never touch go near an omega’s through without explicit consent
(If another fucker tries to go near your neck again you’re losing it at them >:/)
Nests are a big thing, even outside of heats, and kids, and stuff, it’s just really beneficial to an omega to have a safe, soft, place they have complete control over, their instincts demand it
(Apparently nesting isn’t a normal fucking thing for Humans in this universe?? you can’t find the round mattress with the round frame that has a headboard that goes around a majority of the bed to kinda cocoon you anywhere, that’s like, the most basic thing you’d used to find in stores, and now you keep having to find specialty shops that cater to extraterrestrials to find anything remotely similar, or figure out how to replicate it yourself, this is so frustrating!!! you’re gonna be so much more frustrated when you try to find the other supplies needed for nesting)
Instead of heats and ruts being quick things, there’s still a lot of time and clarity before it hits them, so like, let’s say if it’s a default alpha/omega, the omega will obsess over their nest and get it just right while the alpha get their scent on everything else in the room to let everyone else know to fuck off (if it’s any other pairing, then whoever feels the most comfortable fighting if a trespasser comes by, [even though that almost never happens, but there’s always that instinctual worry that if will happen] is the one who gets their scent on everything else and makes sure the room they’re in is secure)
(I love the idea of this omega getting a temporary Vulcan partner because their heat came on quickly, and Vulcans understand their predicament, so the omega is stressing over their nest while the Vulcan is walking around, methodically trying to scent everything because they know that also serves to make the other person not scenting feel secure in that scenario, and then, because I feel like Vulcans are a little bit of control freaks (lovingly) the Vulcan goes over to fuss with the nest as well and the omega is strangely content with that)
That’s what I have for now, may add stuff later
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Last thing OOC before I actually do those written replies—- just more or less wanna explain why I haven’t been reaching out to people or answering back much OOC lately.
I have been going through a lot irl and my mental health has been in the absolute trash. I’ve been socially withdrawing and isolating again because I am convinced I am a burden or me rambling about any of my muses will leave people to feel left out or ignored and its left me feeling like shit and scared to really get my gushing out anywhere while feeling “safe” if that makes sense. Or in private? I worry I’ll annoy people regardless cause 99% of the time it is just my unhinged ass sending memes of Batman and going “cretchur” or “lookit this freak of a man” over doing anything really, truly productive.
So I’ve been in a state of “You’re too annoying you’re boring them they will replace you with someone better who can actually do this thing right” and it’s been severely affecting my ability to reach out among irl stress adding onto the list.
I will however try my best to reach out more through throwing asks ( prompted / unprompted if I seen Askmemes! ) at mutuals who let me know it is absolutely okay to interact and be a pest, as I know I can’t hold much of a conversation these days, not sure when it will lift enough I can confidently plot and talk out potential dynamics, but I want it to be known if we follow each other, I am interested in writing with you, absolutely. I am just not good with starting things up, which is why I encourage the sending of asks back to me so we can see how muses interact before we plot things out.
I really don’t give a fuck about my follower count, I don’t do the whole collecting people and muses thing as that is a huge trigger of mine as well. I am here to build up meaningful stories with people who want to genuinely put in the time and effort into getting to know each other’s muses. I never want anyone to feel collected. You guys have so much creativity and passion for the muses you write I am always blown away by the OOC posts rambling about them, the edits, the well thought out replies.
I want to do more with you guys. I’m not gonna let my depression kick my shit in and prevent it, but I will take time to have that courage to plot in private again. Until my mental health gets better, I hope this will be okay in the meantime.
#' ◁ ılı||ılı ▷ … ¹¹. 𝙾𝚞𝚝 𝙾𝚏 𝙱𝚊𝚝𝚜 🦇#No but… fr#I just finally got my sleep schedule back to normalish hours after a few weeks of running of like… 4-5 hours a day#so as u can imagine I’m still a little fucked up until things regulate again.#Last 3 months now have been a constant hell of not knowing if I’ll have a place to live along with financial stress so#It’s been a lot mentally in always being prepared for the worst case scenario or needing to pack up to move somewhere new#Things have been stabilizing now finally but with it comes everything else getting back to “normal”#But things are getting better it’s just been one hell of an adjustment period you know?
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On average how long does it take you to write a fic? I see you post pretty often on ao3 so I was just wondering if you had any tips to write faster? you make it seem so effortless lol/pos
I must confess, I’ve been procrastinating on finishing a fic for a few weeks now…nonetheless I do have some tips!
So the brutal truth here is that when I really want to get something written I don’t sleep LMAO. Usually I’ll stay up until 4:00 AM writing, but I haven’t been able to do that lately because I’ve been trying to prioritize a healthy sleep schedule. It’s better to start writing early so you don’t stay up half the night, that can actually make things more difficult as after a certain hour your brain will just shut off (at least that’s what happens for me)
The length it takes me to write a fic depends on the type of fic, if it’s 3-4K I can usually knock it out in a day or two, unless I’ve been putting it off. If it’s 9-12k it takes me a couple of days, though I have written fics that length in one sitting before. Again, I do crazy work between the hours of 8:00 PM and 4:00 AM. If it’s anything near 20k it usually takes me a few months, especially if I have a lot going on irl at the time. My longest fic was 52k and I pretty much wrote that through the winter. Right now I’m working on one that’s meant to end at around 15k and I already have 12k of it written, but I ramble so it might come out a bit longer
Okay now onto actual productive tips. In my experience, the best way to write a lot is literally just to spill all your thoughts onto the page. Yap like your life depends on it. If I’m writing the character experiencing something I have a lot of opinions on, I’ll spend several paragraphs just talking about that. Some of my best and longest fics come from me straight up venting into a Google Doc. It’s like a diary except no one can tell how much is the character’s pov and how much is me working out my own problems. If you think you ranted too much, you can always go back and delete some later
It’s also good to try and always be writing. One of my Mitsukou fics was written almost entirely between breaks at work. I bring my computer with me if I’m going somewhere over night. I’ll write while I’m waiting for a class to start, and in between classes- especially if I have a long break. I write a paragraph or two on the toilet sometimes. And also be thinking about the characters a lot, I’m hyperfixated on tbhk rn so these little losers are always on my mind; so when I sit down to write, I’ve already written most of the fic in my head. Share your own headcanons and analysis, people love reading that stuff. Don’t be afraid to get creative and take a few liberties, most readers are subconsciously longing for new things in their fics
Also don’t stress yourself out too much about what you post! Fanfic is best when it’s written for your own enjoyment above anyone else’s. Sometimes I get too caught up in what other people will think of my fics and forget I have total control over everything I write. If you worry too much about making your work “perfect,” you’ll never want to write. Make yourself your main target audience, it makes the process way more fun
I hope some of this helped you!! Thank you for your ask, this gave me the motivation to work on my wip. I’m also currently writing fics for every day of Aoinene Week so it’s been busy. A good fic playlist also helps, it helps you better envision the world you’re writing. Recently I’ve been basing my fics off specific music artists which gets me really invested. Happy writing :)
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i honestly wouldn’t care so much about omegaverse if people were just honest about how it’s a porn genre instead of insisting how it’s queer activism. especially on twitter there’s a weird group of people who think its the pinnacle of feminism to make men suffer through patriarchy but poorly thought out patriarchy and omegaverse sidelines women constantly (though i’ve seen fair share of female centric omegaverse but those don’t seem to push the activism view and feels more like it’s a porn genre, but the dog dick thing is still uncomfortable) another thing about the activism thing people push is about how omegaverse is actually really liberating for trans men or whatever as a blanket statement. don’t care if other trans men like omegaverse but i certainly don’t think omegaverse is reflective of the ftm experience. especially since all the characters are presumably cis in the stories even if they’re sometimes written with vaginas in universe it doesn’t matter! this is why the “if you dislike omegaverse you’re queer phobic” mindset drives me crazy. i’m sorry if this ask is really long i feel vindicated that other people find omegaverse a terrible genre ive disliked it for years, i can tolerate some stories but i can never take it seriously.
HAHA. Yeah this is a good summation of where I am at as well. The thing is omegaverse has always been up its own ass just a little, in Strange Aeons oral history of Dashcon someone at the con had made a presentation about omegaverse that said "omegaverse has six genders, here's what the six genders are" and it was about relating these fictional six genders to the IRL queer experience? Or at least that's how i interpreted it from the video. And the thing is this was almost at the very beginning of omegaverse as a trend and users were already trying to gentrify it into something that it isn't.
IMO omegaverse appeared at the same time that tumblr slacktivism was being heavily criticized. Don't know if anyone else remembers this but there was a viral tumblr post that had British protestors out with placards and signs and they were protesting in favor of gay marriage, and one of the signs said "let John and Sherlock get married." And the tumblr post absolutely exploded because people were mad (for good reason) that someone was bringing their fandom attitudes into IRL activism. And people were mad because gay marriage was something was desperately needed for legal protection and there was a lot of outrage that a fujoshi instead decided to make it about Johnlock, because that was the only way she could relate to gay marriage activism.
The problem though is that this viral post was like, a nuclear bomb in the tumblr consciousness. The website never recovered. That's where the idea of "minority representation" took off, because fujoshis were bullied and made to feel ashamed of liking gay ships and were accused of being "slacktivists" by writing fanfiction or whatever, even when we were not actually interested in doing activism. (I think some poor idiots tried to say that "writing slash fanfic means I'm fighting for gay rights" which got skewered.) So the idea of "representation" was dreamed up as a response to it, because no one likes being accused of being a ~fetishizer~. Saying "well actually me writing this fanfiction is good because I'm being Representational" was a way to politically justify your gay cocks rubbing together fetish. Tumblr was totally overrun with keyboard slacktivists screaming at and bullying each other over gay ships which made the "representation" and "fanfiction as queer activism" thing really take off. It was really just a way to avoid being bullied and in many ways it still is.
And while all of this was going on, omegaverse was born! So maybe in hindsight it did not stand a chance, no one wanted to admit that they just had a fetish for werewolves and noncon because that would get them bullied. Like I cannot stress enough that I was in Ground Zero for this shit so I remember when omegaverse fans were fielding accusations of "fapping to bestiality" and other horrible fucked and untrue things. So they were desperate, absolutely DESPERATE to put a respectable coat of paint on their porn so that Tumblr would stop bullying them for it. (There was a scat component to it as well but that wasn't as prominent as the bestiality themed noncon that came out of it. And I mean...both of those things are fine because it's fiction, so whatever, but it's not shocking that anything that was adjacent to those things would get pushback.)
In a way, fans did not have a choice except to pretend that the porn was actually Queer Empowerment and Feminist Empowerment and how it was Totally Liberating to read about men with dog dicks raping other men with anal fissures. They had to do it in order to protect themselves. This resulted in entire essays being written about how being anally impregnated by a guy with a dogdick who "ruts" like an animal is, like, suuuuuch a female experience you guiz!!!!!!! We gorls have all been there amirite!!!!! And if you didn't take that view and said "who is 'we' in this equation, you're not affiliated with me and I don't recognize these experiences" you received some online hate for Not Being With the Feminist Cause. In time that has metastasized and now there are omegaverse fans who, as you indicate, decided to start bullying other queer people people for not liking it.
(And you know, as I'm editing this, I'm realizing just how insanely transphobic that kind of stance was! Incredible erasure of trans people took place in those "why Omegaverse is the peak of feminism" essays.)
The lesbian omegaverse stuff is basically the purest form of it and hence it's the most tolerable. Yuri fiction gets so little attention anyway, yuri writers basically have carte blanche to do whatever they want. There's very little infighting in comparison to slash fandoms. Funnily enough when women are involved as characters no one wants to read about the Feminine Political Experience and no one cares enough to turn it into activism. It's only slash ships that get that projection and its 100% due to the "oh shit we need to pretend this is Representation so that we don't get bullied for having a fetish" deal. (This has since spread into most aspects of fandom and even IRL discourse! Do what you will with that information.)
Massive +1 to your note about how it affects queer people. I can't imagine what it's like to be a transman and be told "umm ackchually sweaty being impregnated with a dog cock is the HEIGHT of the transman experience and if you don't like it then you can get out." When I was weirded out by the book I cataloged that was an omegaverse romance, one of the rhetorical lines that got flung at me was "straight people aren't going to like you!!! they're always going to hate you!!!! you're never going to not be disgusting to them!!! you have to like it or else you're a bad queer person!!!" Because I had said that I found the material grotesque and I didn't like it being marketed as "LGBT fiction."
But that was never the point, the point was that I, a queer person, do not want this material anywhere near me. Like, why would I want to be associated with bestiality, even if it's fantasy bestiality? This ain't about the cishetties, this is about me, how I feel. I don't want to be told that it's inherently queer fiction and queer romance, because why would I want dog penises and the captivating aroma of poopy buttholes (sorry, "slick") to be associated with my queerness and my sexuality?
But those are the wages of omegaverse being born in the times that it was born in. It's most likely permanently baked into the structure, even when people are just wilding out with their Ids and going "oh teehee I forgot to take my suppressants and now my reproductive anal glands need to be expressed." You are still going to get the "my werewolf themed fanfiction is ACTIVISM, we are HERE we're QUEER and you need to GET OVER IT" even when you yourself are queer and have been persecuted for it in the past. Either jump on the dogdick carousal or you're queerphobic.
I should underline that I understand that this is quite literally a Not All Fans Situation and imo most users in fandom try not to get on each other's cases so much about our preferences. The problem is that omegaverse has been a vehicle for buckwild levels of cope, junk science, SJW themed bullying, and superiority complexes because there are a plurality of fans that are trying to gentrify weird porn. And that's the sticking point in all of this especially if you're someone who doesn't like it and want to stay away from it.
#omegaverse#i guess? i'm not sure if i should be using the tag but idk what else to do#long post#talktalktalk#tumblr#tumblr history#fandom activism
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