#I want to be organized but I’m lazy
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lemonmaggot · 1 month ago
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I’m working on a drawing of the team so I needed to compare their heights so now I’m going to talk about my headcanons and my reasons why :3
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P.I.X.A.L.: 6 ft 2 in / 188 cm
I debated having her be the same height as Zane, as I think that would make the most sense as her original body and Zane’s new body were built using Borg’s equipment. I also think Borg would need a lot of room in order to create a highly intelligent robot that functions as a human would, therefore would need to build bigger. A lot of those robots that can walk around and self balance irl tend to be pretty big. Pixal used to be the same height as titanium Zane, but when she rebuilt herself she made herself slightly taller than him (on purpose, as they met when he was shorter than her, so it felt right).
Zane: 6 ft 1 in / 185 cm
He used to be about the same height as Jay in Season 1 but then the others started growing and he became the shortest briefly in season 3. This is because Dr. Julien built Zane to be his child, so he gave Zane a young appearance. But when he built his titanium body he wanted to have something more mature looking, so that he could look like the older teen he was getting to be and could then pass as an adult once he was older. He purposely made himself just a little bit taller than Cole just to mess with him (and he wanted to be the tallest).
Cole: 6 ft / 183 cm
Cole is just very big to me. Friendly giant vibes, y’know? Like big teddy bear. That’s all I have to say for him. He’s just genetically lucky. Plus I feel like it’s typical for the Masters of Earth to all be tall. They are tall like mountains. Plus controlling the earth requires lots of energy and strength, so they have to be bigger.
Nya: 5 ft 9 in / 175 cm
She’s taller than Kai but you can’t tell at first as they’re similar heights. She was supposed to be shorter but due to Kai becoming a ninja at a young age, he stunted his growth. Nya was older than Kai was when she became a ninja, so she had more time to grow.
Kai: 5 ft 8 in / 173 cm
Genetically speaking, he was supposed to be much taller. But ninja training is rough on the body. I think of it as similar to when kids are in gymnastics as kid, the amount of exercise/impact of the sport on their body often stunts growth. Plus I think Kai would always make sure Nya ate first when they were kids, so his nutrition wasn’t always the best. Nya doesn’t know about this and he will take this secret to his grave. Not even their caretakers or babysitters knew. Kai started styling his hair up so that he would look taller than Nya. He’s kind of jealous that his little sister is taller than him. He would totally wear inserts in his shoes to give himself a little bit more height.
Jay: 5 ft 6 in / 168 cm
Libber gives me very short vibes, and Gordon gives average height vibes, but Jay takes more after his bio mom than his bio dad. (It’s like Gordon’s genes didn’t even try. You could never tell that Jay is biologically related to him just by looking at them.) So he’s shorter than average but his bio dad was good for something and gave him some height. Jay used to be insecure about his height and it took him the second longest on the team to reach his full height (Lloyd took the longest). Him taking so long to grow is why Cyrus Borg said that Jay “looked shorter.” It’s because everyone else grew but him, making him look shorter than he previously had. But due to his stature, he finds it easy to wiggle through tight spaces and move quickly, so now he sees his height as a perk since it helps him.
Lloyd: 5 ft 4 in / 163 cm
As I mentioned with Kai, the impact of being a ninja at such a young age paused Lloyd’s growth, although it affected Lloyd more since he was a child, the others were at least teens (even if they were young teens). Then the tomorrow’s tea incident happened. In combination with the tea and the trauma Lloyd underwent, his body seemed to freeze (Extreme trauma/stress can delay puberty in teens). Lloyd was under so much stress that his body wouldn’t start puberty and therefore didn’t grow. In the year between S7 and S8 he was finally able to relax enough that his body resumed normal functions (hence his voice deepening and as Kai says “Sounds like our little ninja is growing up!”). Though his growth would have paused again due to the surge in training/stress during the Oni Triology. Finally he would’ve been able to grow a touch more in the year post-Seabound as he gave up all training. People who are in sports at young ages (again using gymnastics as my example) tend to see a sudden growth spurt once they quit. However, at this point Lloyd is getting too old to grow much and his height is permanently stunted. Similarly to Jay, this makes him faster and harder to hit in battle. Most restraints are designed for people bigger than him, so he can free himself from traps easier. Also makes it easier to sneak around and hide. (He also likes to wear the hand-me-down clothes from the others and finds comfort in wearing stuff that was once theirs, so being short and not growing means he never has to outgrow their clothes.) (I might go into why he finds it comforting in another post, if anyone wants to hear) (or I’ll post it anyway because I love ranting about Ninjago)
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leverage-ot3 · 11 months ago
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silly episode idea but hear me out
okay well the first part isn’t silly! so the episode is based around a con they are doing where a polyam triad wants to get married and have been writing to senators and stuff for years but nothing has happened. maybe there is a time element that leeway has to happen soon (not sure what that would be yet, maybe someone is sick???)
(obviously polycules aren’t only and are often more than just a closed three-person system, but I’m saying triad right now bc I feel like that would be an easier and more ‘socially acceptable’ gateway into more accepting legislation for diverse relationship dynamics)
the leverage crew, of course, can’t outright change the public perception of poly marriage, but they can use the ‘enemy’s’ tactics against them and slip stuff into legislation without people noticing like they do. it’s slimy and it’s not a permanent fix, but it’s a start, and it gives people the opportunity to see poly marriage in action and that it isn’t as terrifying or pearl-clutching-inducing as they think it would be. there’s a long way to go, but the seeds of change have been sown and they will make sure everything goes as smoothly as possible
this is one of the cases that they will monitor on the back burner over time. some cons can finish within a few hours (the bottle job), and some things they will follow over time and make adjustments when needed- amplify voices and expose corrupt politicians etc
and then it’s just after 3/4 of the way through but the con has been finished? what is going on? this is where the silliness comes in
the camera turns to the ot3 and…
hardison, pulling out three individualized rings: I know it’s not legal yet, and we have the necklaces, but I think rings would be a nice touch
eliot, pulling out an intricately carved box that also has three self-handcrafted rings: dammit hardison (with feeling and tenderness, and damp eyes)
parker, pulling out three very stolen rings from her pocket: does this mean we’re getting triple married if we all have three rings???
harry pops into the conversation (practically vibrating) excitedly just casually mentioning that he’s a notary and would be honored to marry them to each other if they wanted to
(they do)
wait, did I say silly? I meant unwaveringly tender and heartwarming
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idontmindifuforgetme · 1 year ago
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my gma told me that my mom used to wake up, eat breakfast, then study for 12 hours straight. every fuckin day. and my gpa would bring her food and tell her to take breaks bc of how immersed she was. she’s literally my role model forever
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evidently-endless · 2 months ago
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most wonderful time of year (working some kind of insane temporary retail job and absolutely locking in on my reading goals)
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shoyostar · 1 year ago
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i’m not “back” yet, but i want to change my theme so . . . expect new pinned coming soon
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teabiscs · 2 years ago
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Top three will get drawn.
I’ve been drawing quite a bit of Kai/Rei recently that I can’t post just yet.
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m1dnitefloat · 3 months ago
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might be starting a kinda insane project that will probably take a good chunk of time to do on my own but if no one else is gonna do it I Will
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s1lver-soul · 6 months ago
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actually i’m so sad first year of uni is over… something about semester 1 was just so comfortable
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reddpenn · 1 year ago
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Here is a potentially silly question: how do you feel about birthstones? Do you think they fit the months (by season or astrological sign)? Do you have other stones you'd rather see as birthstones?
Okay, so, birthstones make absolutely no sense.
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I mean, look at this mess. We’re doing beryl and corundum twice! I get that they get Special Different Names for their Special Different Colors, but it's just lazy. And why are we giving some months cheap, common gemstones like garnet and amethyst while the poor June birthdays have to shell out tens of thousands of dollars for FREAKING ALEXANDRITE? That’s incredibly unfair! We should be picking birthstones that are all roughly the same price. And why do some months get multiple gemstones? I’ll tell you why: because nobody can agree on an official list and every attempt to standardize this thing has just added MORE birthstones to every month.
So obviously the answer is to standardize it again, by throwing out everything and starting over. Here are our goals:
Fair pricing. You should be paying roughly the same amount regardless of what month you were born in. We’re getting rid of those ridiculous outliers like diamond and alexandrite.
More customization potential! Nobody should be stuck with a stone they hate. We’re picking gemstones that come in multiple colors or varieties, so that everyone can choose a variant they like.
Wearability. Some birthstones are too fragile to be worn as jewelry. We need to replace them with stronger stuff.
No more duplicate gemstones. Every month gets a stone or family of stones with a unique chemical composition.
Now without further ado, I present to you:
The New And Improved List Of Birthstones With No Problems Or Flaws That Everyone Will Definitely Agree On And We Can Start Using Right Now Immediately
JANUARY: GARNET
I've got no problem with garnet. It's a fine, classic birthstone, so January can keep it. But I would like to see a little more garnet diversity. January birthdays shouldn’t be confined to just red. The garnet family of minerals contains a rainbow of different colors, like orange hessonite, green uvarovite, pink rhodolite, yellow grandite, and many more. They’re all garnet, so we should be wearing them all!
FEBRUARY: QUARTZ
The original birthstone of February was amethyst, which is… kinda boring. Super cheap and common and you only get one color? No, we can do better. February gets ALL the quartzes now. Keep wearing amethyst if you want, but also feel free to branch out into clear quartz, citrine, rose quartz, smoky quartz, rutilated quartz, tiger eye… actually, take all the agates too. If it’s quartz, it’s yours!
MARCH: SPODUMENE
March was originally aquamarine, but I’ll be giving all the beryls to May, so we need a different stone here. Let’s stick with that theme of pale pastels and go with spodumene. For an April birthday, bedeck yourself in green hiddenite, pink kunzite, or yellow triphane. Despite its subtle colors, your birthstone has some amazing fluorescence, with really cool pinks and oranges under a UV light.
APRIL: FELDSPAR
Diamond is too pricy for this list, so we’re replacing it with something less expensive and way more interesting. April will now be represented by the feldspar family. We’re talking labradorite, moonstone, amazonite, aventurine, and sunstone. While you don’t have much variety in color, your stones are full of shimmery schiller which glitters and shifts as it catches the light.
MAY: BERYL
May’s original birthstone was emerald, which is great and can stay, but we’re also adding its siblings! May is now represented by all beryls: Emerald, Aquamarine, Morganite, Bixbite, Heliodor, Goshenite, and whatever other varieties I’m forgetting to list. A bright and saturated rainbow of colors is represented here, so everyone born in May is sure to find something they like.
JUNE: ORGANIC GEMSTONES AND FOSSILS
It’s time to address the alexandrite in the room, and obviously we’re getting rid of alexandrite. A stone worth $15,000 to $70,000 a carat does not belong on the same list as friggin amethyst. Instead we’ll look at the other traditional June birthstone, pearl. The problem with pearl is that it’s a clear outlier in this list. An organic gemstone, by some definitions not even a mineral. Should we replace it? NO. We are OWNING it. All organic gemstones now belong to June. Pearl is joined here by jet, amber, coral, ivory, ammolite, petrified wood… in fact, June can have every fossil ever.
JULY: SPINEL
July was originally represented by ruby, which is a fine stone and won’t be kicked off the birthstone list - we’re just shuffling it down to September. Replacing ruby for July is spinel. (See, it’s funny because historically spinel has often been mistakenly identified as ruby! That's a little gemology humor for you.) Available in any hue you could possibly desire, spinel offers some nice color options to a month that previously only featured red. Of course if you want to keep wearing red, red spinel mimics ruby so well that you’ll barely notice the difference.
AUGUST: PERIDOT
Nope, we’re not changing this one. Peridot is the ideal gemstone and you ungrateful August whiners can die mad about it. HOW ABOUT YOU LEARN TO APPRECIATE PERFECTION
SEPTEMBER: CORUNDUM
Sapphire is a wonderful, classic stone and it deserves its spot on this list. But the corundum family has been separated for far too long, and we’re finally going to reunite them. Joining sapphire in September is its sister ruby. Between the pinks and reds of ruby and the many, many colors of sapphire, these two stones give September a nice variety of colors.
OCTOBER: TOURMALINE
Look, as gorgeous as opal is and as much as I love it, it is both way too pricy for our list and also TERRIBLE in jewelry. This stone is just too brittle to wear around from day to day and can be ruined just by getting it wet, which makes wearing your birthstone a huge hassle. We’ll kick opal out and hang on to October’s other traditional birthstone, tourmaline. Pink tourmaline may be classic, but this stone comes in plenty of other colors. Whether it’s brown dravite, watermelon elbaite, or the rare and beautiful blue indicolite, you can wear them all!
NOVEMBER: TOPAZ
November can keep topaz, but we’re not confining it to the color yellow. This stone comes in a huge variety of colors, and now they can ALL represent November. No further notes; it’s a nice, classic stone.
DECEMBER: ZIRCON
I dunno, I’ve had to come up with 12 of these, I’m burnt out. Sure, zircon, whatever.
“BUT WAIT,” you say. “Now instead of having a single color assigned to each month, almost every month is represented by almost every color, making it impossible to tell anyone’s birthstones apart and removing what made them special and recognizable as symbols!”
Well CLEARLY you didn’t read the title of this list.
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cherryxbooo · 1 month ago
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I’ll do anything to make you happy
Summary: You were excited for winter break to start because it meant one thing: spending more time with Lando. But little did you know, that was the one thing you wouldn't be getting.
Reader x Lando Norris
Genre: fluff/angst
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Winter always held a special kind of charm for me.
The frosty mornings, cozy blankets, and steaming cups of cocoa had always made this season my favorite.
But this year, it held a different promise: Lando finally had a break from racing.
After months of hectic schedules, jet-setting across the globe, and stolen moments in between races, I was looking forward to having him all to myself.
At first, it was everything I’d imagined and more.
We spent lazy mornings tangled in bed, with me teasing him about his messy hair while he pulled me closer, claiming I was his personal heater.
Breakfasts turned into brunches because we couldn’t stop talking or joking around.
We watched movies, baked cookies that turned out terrible, and played endless rounds of Mario Kart, which I always managed to win.
“You’re only winning because I’m letting you,” Lando said one evening, his grin teasing as he tossed the controller onto the couch.
“Sure you are,” I replied, laughing as I grabbed my victory snack from the table.
Those first few days felt like we were in our own little world, where nothing else mattered but us.
But soon, reality began creeping in.
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It started innocently enough.
“Babe, Max just called,” Lando said one morning, leaning against the counter with his coffee mug in hand.
“He’s organizing a karting session. Shouldn’t take long.”
I smiled, my heart swelling with pride.
Racing was his passion, and I loved seeing him happy. “Go have fun. Just don’t let him beat you.”
“Never,” he said with a wink, kissing my temple quickly before heading out.
That day, I didn’t mind the quiet. I worked on some projects, caught up with friends, and even took a long bath.
By the time he got home, his cheeks were flushed with cold, and he couldn’t stop talking about how much fun he’d had.
But karting soon turned into golf.
Golf turned into poker nights. And poker nights turned into outings that stretched late into the night.
“I’ll be back soon,” he’d text, always with a heart emoji. But “soon” became later and later each time.
I told myself it was fine. He deserved this break.
He’d worked so hard all year, and if spending time with his friends helped him unwind, who was I to complain?
But as the days wore on, the house began to feel emptier, and so did I.
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One evening, I decided to surprise him with his favorite dinner.
I spent hours in the kitchen, setting the table with candles and dimming the lights for a cozy atmosphere.
When Lando walked through the door, his expression softened as he took in the setup.
“You didn’t have to do all this,” he said, wrapping his arms around me.
“I wanted to,” I replied, smiling up at him.
“You’ve been so busy, and I thought it’d be nice to have a quiet night together.”
“That’s so sweet,” he said, leaning down to kiss me.
“But the guys are waiting for me. I promised I’d meet them for drinks tonight. Let’s rain check this?”
My smile faltered, but I nodded. “Of course.”
He kissed me again and was out the door before I could say anything more.
I sat down at the table, staring at the empty chair across from me.
The candles flickered, their light reflecting off the untouched plates. I took a deep breath, telling myself it was okay.
But deep down, a tiny crack had formed in my heart.
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Days turned into weeks, and the cracks only deepened.
Lando’s absence became more noticeable, and I began to feel like a ghost in our own home.
One evening, after scrolling through endless photos of him with his friends on Instagram, I called Mia, my best friend.
“What’s wrong?” she asked the moment she picked up.
I sighed, the weight of my emotions pressing down on me.
“It’s Lando. He’s been spending so much time with his friends lately, and I feel like I’m… invisible.”
Mia was quiet for a moment before saying, “Y/N, you’re not invisible. But you need to talk to him. He’s not a mind reader.”
“I don’t want to seem clingy,” I admitted, my voice barely above a whisper.
“You’re not clingy. You’re his girlfriend. He should want to spend time with you. Talk to him.”
Her words gave me the push I needed. That night, when Lando came home, I gathered my courage.
“Can we talk?” I asked, my heart pounding in my chest.
“Of course,” he said, sitting down next to me.
I took a deep breath.
“I’ve been feeling… neglected lately. I know you’re enjoying your break, and I want you to have fun, but I miss us. I miss you.”
He frowned, reaching for my hand.
“Babe, I’m sorry if it feels that way. But I’m here now, aren’t I?”
I nodded, but his words didn’t ease the ache in my chest. Before I could say more, he kissed me and stood up.
“Max needs help with something,” he said, grabbing his keys. “Love you!”
And just like that, he was gone. Again.
I tried my best to push away all negative thoughts until I thought about the positive ones.
Our second anniversary was just days away, and I held onto the hope that he’d make it special.
I told myself the late nights didn’t matter. He was probably planning something incredible for our anniversary.
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The next day,
The morning light filtered through the curtains, painting the room in soft golden hues.
I stretched lazily, a content smile curling my lips as I reached across the bed.
My fingers met cold sheets. The space beside me was empty.
I frowned, the giddy excitement I had woken up with faltering.
Today was our second anniversary.
I had imagined waking up wrapped in Lando’s arms, whispering sleepy “Happy anniversary” wishes before sharing breakfast together.
Instead, he was gone.
I also realized that I hadn't heard him come back last night.
He told me he was just helping Max out with something, but he probably went out partying with his friends afterward, again.
I tried to shake off the disappointment as I climbed out of bed, brushing my hair out of my face.
Maybe he had planned a surprise and needed to step out early.
A flutter of hope lifted my spirits as I grabbed my robe and headed toward the kitchen.
The scent of coffee greeted me, but there was no sign of Lando.
Instead, on the counter, I found a note written in his familiar scrawl:
“Gone golfing with the guys. Be back later. Love you.”
My heart sank. Golfing? On our anniversary?
I swallowed the lump rising in my throat, trying to focus on the fact that he had said he’d be back later.
He wouldn’t forget our dinner, right?
We’d planned this evening together weeks ago, and I’d been looking forward to it ever since.
I folded the note and placed it aside, telling myself not to overthink it. He would be back in time.
He promised.
After a quick breakfast, I set to work preparing for the evening.
My heart thudded with a mix of excitement and nervousness as I laid out my plans.
Lando had been so busy lately, and this was my chance to remind him how much I loved him, despite everything.
I spent hours in the kitchen, cooking all his favorite dishes: his go-to pasta, a roasted chicken dish he always requested, and even the dessert I’d failed at three times before finally perfecting.
The smells of herbs, garlic, and chocolate filled the apartment, making it feel warm and inviting.
Between stirring pots and chopping vegetables, I took breaks to set up the dining table.
I draped it with a soft cream tablecloth, adding candles and a scattering of rose petals for a romantic touch.
Fairy lights hung along the walls, casting a cozy glow that made the space feel magical.
On the counter, I carefully placed his gift, a sleek watch he had admired months ago but never bought for himself.
Not forgetting to attach a handwritten note to the box.
With everything ready, I checked the clock.
It was almost evening. So I had to hurry up to get ready.
I slipped into the dress I had chosen weeks ago, a soft, fitted number I knew he loved on me.
My makeup was simple yet elegant, and I added the finishing touch, a spritz of the perfume Lando had gifted me for my last birthday.
I felt beautiful, excited, and nervous all at once as I sat on the couch, watching the clock.
Five minutes passed. Then ten.
By the time twenty minutes had gone by, I grabbed my phone, texting him a quick, “Hey, are you on your way?”
No response.
An hour later, I texted again. Then called. Still nothing.
My excitement turned into a gnawing worry that sat heavy in my chest.
Where was he? Had he forgotten?
Two hours passed.
The candles on the table had burned down halfway, their flickering flames reflecting off the now-cold plates of food.
The fairy lights, once magical, now felt like mockery.
Finally, three hours later, I gave up.
Tears stung my eyes as I blew out the candles, packed away the food, and removed my dress, exchanging it for soft pajamas.
My makeup was smeared with tears by the time I climbed into bed.
I grabbed my phone one last time, and my heart shattered when I saw the Instagram story.
It was one of Lando’s friends, showing a clip of him laughing, drink in hand, surrounded by his friends.
He looked happy. Carefree.
And completely oblivious that tonight was our anniversary.
The tears came faster, hot and uncontrollable. I buried my face in the pillow, the ache in my chest overwhelming.
I had been so sure he’d come back, that he’d remember. But I was wrong.
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Later that night,
The apartment was cloaked in silence when Lando opened the front door, the click of the lock echoing faintly in the stillness.
He stumbled inside the weight of exhaustion and faint traces of guilt tugging at his chest.
The soft glow of the streetlights outside illuminated the darkened space just enough for him to make out his surroundings.
Something felt… off.
He reached for the light switch, and as the room was bathed in warm light, his eyes landed on the dining table across from him.
He froze.
The table was beautifully decorated, candles placed strategically, now melted into small stubs, surrounded by rose petals that had been artfully scattered.
Plates of food were neatly covered with lids to keep them from going bad, but even from a distance, Lando could tell they were his favorites.
He took a tentative step forward, his stomach sinking further with each movement.
Resting near the center of the table was a small, wrapped box with a note attached to it.
The sight made his chest tighten, a creeping realization clawing at the edges of his mind.
His fingers trembled as he picked up the note. Unfolding it carefully, he read the words in her familiar handwriting:
"To my Lando, the best thing that ever happened to me. Thank you for being my partner, my love, my everything. Happy anniversary, baby. Love, Y/N."
The words hit him like a punch to the gut. His heart sank as the full weight of the evening’s significance crashed over him.
Anniversary. He’d forgotten their second anniversary.
Lando stood there, the note still clutched in his hand, his throat tightening as shame washed over him.
He thought back to the past few weeks, to the times he’d brushed you off or come home late without so much as an explanation.
He couldn’t even recall the last time you two spent real, quality time together.
You had tried to talk to him about it, about how you felt neglected, and he had dismissed your concerns every single time.
Now, standing there amidst the evidence of your effort and love, he felt like the worst boyfriend in the world.
Lando exhaled shakily, running a hand through his hair as regret threatened to overwhelm him.
He couldn’t blame anyone but himself.
He glanced around the room, noticing how quiet it was. He knew you were asleep.
His eyes landed on his phone, dead from the night’s events.
With a heavy sigh, he plugged it into the charger, pacing nervously as he waited for it to turn back on.
When it finally lit up, the screen was flooded with notifications, missed calls and unread messages from Y/N.
The time stamps told the story of your evening:
“Hey, are you on your way?” - 8 p.m. “I’m waiting for you… everything’s ready.” -8:30 p.m. “Lando, please call me.” -9 p.m. “Are you okay? I’m starting to worry.” -10 p.m.
The last message was hours old, her tone shifting from hopeful to concerned.
Each notification felt like another jab to his heart, the guilt almost unbearable.
He dropped his phone onto the counter and made his way toward their shared bedroom.
Pushing the door open quietly, he stepped into the dimly lit room.
His gaze immediately found her curled up under the covers, her face half-buried in the pillow.
His breath hitched when he noticed the faint streaks on her cheeks, traces of tears she hadn’t been able to hide.
The sight made his heart clench painfully. She’d cried herself to sleep, and it was his fault.
Lando approached the bed slowly, kneeling beside her as he took in her tear-streaked face.
She looked so peaceful yet so vulnerable, her chest rising and falling softly with each breath.
Guilt swirled in his chest as he reached out, brushing a strand of hair away from her face.
“I’m so sorry, baby,” he whispered, his voice barely audible, thick with regret.
Leaning down, he pressed a gentle kiss to her temple, lingering for a moment as if hoping it could somehow convey all the apologies he couldn’t say while she was awake.
His thumb grazed her cheek, and he sighed deeply.
“You didn’t deserve this,” he murmured, his voice breaking.
“I’ve been such an ass… the worst boyfriend. I’ll make it up to you, I promise. I love you so much.”
She stirred slightly at his touch but didn’t wake.
Lando watched her for a moment longer before standing, his mind racing with plans to fix what he’d broken.
Tomorrow, he vowed, would be all about her.
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The next morning, I woke up with a dull ache in my chest, my body heavy from the night before.
My eyes were sore and puffy from crying myself to sleep.
I glanced at the empty side of the bed, already prepared for the familiar sting of disappointment.
Figured he’d leave again before I woke up, I thought bitterly.
Dragging myself out of bed, I moved to the bathroom to freshen up.
The cold water on my face didn’t do much to wash away the exhaustion or the emotional weight from the previous night.
With a sigh, I tied my hair back and made my way downstairs, expecting another day of hurt to unfold.
Halfway down the stairs, though, something unusual stopped me in my tracks.
The smell of coffee, rich and inviting, wafted through the air.
There was another scent too, pancakes? My brow furrowed in confusion.
"That can’t be right. Lando doesn’t cook... does he? Who am i kidding he can't even boil eggs."
I cautiously descended the rest of the stairs, each step filling me with equal parts curiosity and hesitation.
As I rounded the corner into the kitchen, I froze at the sight before me.
There he was, standing by the stove, flipping a pancake with a focused but slightly clumsy determination.
Plates of food lined the table, croissants, fresh fruit, juice, and what looked like store-bought pastries.
It didn’t take long to figure out most of the spread wasn’t homemade, but the effort was unmistakably his.
“Morning, love,” Lando greeted me, his tone soft and tentative, his lips curling into a nervous smile.
I raised an eyebrow, my arms crossing instinctively. “What’s all this?”
He put the spatula down and stepped closer, wiping his hands on a kitchen towel.
“It’s breakfast... and an apology,” he said, his voice earnest.
My eyes flickered between him and the spread on the table.
I could see he was trying, but the hurt from last night still lingered like a heavy cloud over my chest.
“Come sit,” he said gently, pulling a chair out for me.
I hesitated for a moment before sitting down, my arms still crossed defensively.
Lando grabbed a plate, placing a pancake in front of me before adding a small pile of fruit and a croissant on the side.
I eyed him suspiciously as he poured me a cup of coffee, then sat across from me.
“What are you doing, Lando?” I asked, my voice tinged with a mix of confusion and frustration.
He leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table as he met my gaze.
“I messed up, Y/N. Big time. And I need you to know how sorry I am.” His voice was steady but filled with regret.
I stayed silent, waiting for him to continue.
“Last night,” he began, his brows furrowing,
“I forgot our anniversary. I forgot the one day I should’ve been making you feel like the most important person in the world. And it’s not just last night, I’ve been neglecting you for weeks. You told me how you felt, and I brushed it off like an idiot.”
His voice cracked slightly as he spoke, and I could see the weight of his guilt etched into every line on his face.
“I’ve been selfish, caught up in my own world, and I didn’t see how much I was hurting you. You deserve so much better than that, Y/N. Better than me.”
I felt my throat tighten as his words sank in. The sincerity in his tone chipped away at the walls I’d put up.
“I was so hurt, Lando,” I said, my voice trembling.
“I waited for you all night. I planned everything because I thought… I thought you’d come home and we’d celebrate together. I stayed up, hoping you’d walk through that door with a smile, ready to tell me how much you love me. But you didn’t.”
Tears pricked my eyes as I continued.
“I saw that video of you and your friends. You were laughing and having fun while I sat here, alone, on what was supposed to be our night.”
Lando’s face fell, his hands gripping the edge of the table as if grounding himself from the weight of my words.
“I know,” he whispered.
“And I hate myself for it. Seeing what you did for me last night, the decorations, the food, the note. I realized just how much I’ve been taking you for granted. I never want you to feel that way again, Y/N. You’re the most important thing in my life. I need you to believe that.”
He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small box, sliding it across the table to me.
“What’s this?” I asked, my voice softer now, though my heart still carried the sting of last night.
“Open it,” he urged.
I carefully lifted the lid, revealing a delicate necklace with a sparkling pendant.
The intricate design caught the morning light, making it shimmer.
“Lando…” I trailed off, overwhelmed.
“It’s not enough to make up for what I’ve done,” he said quickly,
“but it’s a start. And today, it’s all about you. Whatever you want to do, wherever you want to go, we’ll do it.”
I stared at the necklace for a moment before meeting his eyes.
“It’s beautiful,” I said, my voice thick with emotion. “Thank you.”
“But,” I added, my tone firm, “this doesn’t mean I’ve fully forgiven you yet.”
“I know,” he said, nodding.
“And I don’t expect you to. But I’ll spend every day proving to you how much I care, how much I love you. I won’t stop until you believe me again.”
The determination in his voice made my chest tighten.
I wanted to hold onto my anger, to make him feel the depth of my hurt, but seeing him now, vulnerable, regretful, and desperate to make things right.
I couldn’t help but feel the smallest crack in my resolve.
As the morning unfolded, Lando’s sincerity shone through.
He insisted on clearing the table and cleaning up, stealing small glances at me as if trying to gauge my mood.
I wasn’t ready to let go of all the hurt just yet, but for the first time in weeks, I felt a glimmer of hope.
Maybe, just maybe, we could find our way back to each other.
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The morning's heartfelt apology set the tone for what became one of the most memorable days Lando and I had spent together in weeks.
While I was still guarded, I couldn’t deny that he was trying, really trying, to make things right.
As I got ready to leave the house, he was already by my side, holding my hand, his other arm slung casually around my shoulder.
“I promised today would be all about you,” he said, giving me that signature soft smile.
“So, where to first?”
We started with a trip to the mall. At first, I felt a little awkward, hesitant to fully enjoy the experience.
But Lando was like a lovesick puppy, following me from store to store, holding my bags, and insisting I buy anything that caught my eye.
“Do you like this dress?” I asked, holding up a flowy sundress against myself.
“I love it,” he said without hesitation. “But I’d probably love anything on you.”
I rolled my eyes at his smooth comment but couldn’t help the blush creeping up my cheeks. “You’re just saying that.”
“Nope,” he replied, grabbing the dress and adding it to the pile of things he’d insisted on buying.
From clothes to accessories, he didn’t say no to anything.
When I protested, saying he was spending too much, he brushed it off.
“I’d spend everything on you, Y/N,” he said with such sincerity it made my heart ache.
Afterward, he took me to my favorite café for lunch.
The cozy little place was one we often went to in the early days of our relationship, and the nostalgia hit me hard as we sat down.
“I missed this,” I admitted as I sipped my coffee.
“Me too,” Lando said, reaching across the table to hold my hand.
“And I’m going to make sure we never lose this again.”
Next, he surprised me with a visit to a local pottery studio.
I couldn’t help but laugh when Lando struggled to shape a vase, the clay slipping through his fingers.
“Okay, you’re supposed to keep your hands steady,” I teased, leaning over to guide him.
“Oh, so now you’re an expert?” he joked, though his grin softened as I showed him how to shape the clay.
It was messy, chaotic, and perfect.
By the end, we both had clay smudged on our faces, and we were laughing like we hadn’t in weeks.
From there, we stopped at a flower shop.
Lando picked out the biggest bouquet of my favorite flowers, holding it out to me with a boyish grin.
“For you,” he said, like it was the most natural thing in the world.
“You’re really pulling out all the stops today, aren’t you?” I teased, though my heart swelled as I buried my nose in the fragrant blooms.
“Only the best for my girl,” he replied, his tone playful but his eyes serious.
For the rest of the day, he didn’t leave my side.
He held my hand as we walked through the streets, his arm draped protectively around me whenever we stopped to rest.
He peppered me with kisses at every opportunity; on my cheek, my forehead, my temple.
“You’re being extra clingy today,” I said with a small laugh as he pulled me into another hug.
“Making up for lost time,” he murmured, his chin resting on the top of my head.
Bit by bit, the walls I’d built around my heart began to crumble.
His efforts felt genuine, and I found myself smiling more easily, the hurt from the night before slowly fading into the background.
By the time we got home, the sun was setting, painting the sky in soft shades of pink and orange.
We were both tired but happy as we curled up on the couch together.
Lando tucked me under his arm, his fingers gently tracing patterns on my shoulder.
“Y/N,” he said after a long moment of silence.
His tone was serious, and I looked up at him curiously.
“Yeah?”
“I need to say this again because you deserve to hear it,” he began, his voice steady but filled with emotion.
“I’m so sorry for everything, for neglecting you, for forgetting our anniversary, for making you feel like you weren’t my priority. You are my priority, Y/N. You’re the best thing in my life, and I hate that I made you feel otherwise.”
His words hit me straight in the chest, and I felt tears pricking at the corners of my eyes.
“I know I hurt you,” he continued, his hand cupping my cheek as he looked into my eyes.
“But I swear, I’ll spend every day proving how much I love you. I’ll never let you feel like that again.”
My heart felt full as I reached up to hold his hand.
“You’ve done a lot for me today, Lando,” I said softly.
“And it’s helped. I can see how much you mean it.”
“So... does that mean you forgive me?” he asked, his tone hopeful but cautious.
I smiled, leaning up to kiss him. “Yeah, I forgive you.”
The relief on his face was almost comical, and he immediately began peppering my face with kisses, my cheeks, my forehead, my nose, even the corners of my lips.
“Thank you, thank you, thank you,” he murmured between kisses, his joy infectious.
Just when I thought the day was over, Lando suddenly sat up.
“Wait, I have one last thing,” he said, standing and disappearing into the other room.
I frowned, confused, as he returned with a small envelope in hand.
“What is this?” I asked as he handed it to me.
“Open it,” he urged, a playful but nervous glint in his eyes.
I carefully tore open the envelope, and my breath caught as I pulled out two plane tickets.
My eyes widened as I read the destination: Maldives.
“Lando… are you serious?” I asked, my voice trembling with disbelief.
He grinned. “You’ve always said you wanted to go. So, I booked us a two-week stay. Just you and me. No distractions.”
Tears welled in my eyes as I looked at him, overwhelmed.
“You didn’t have to do this…”
“Yes, I did,” he said firmly, pulling me into his arms.
“I’ll do anything to make you happy, Y/N. Anything.”
I hugged him tightly, burying my face in his chest.
“Thank you,” I whispered.
“I love you,” he murmured, pressing a kiss to the top of my head.
“I love you too,” I replied, my voice muffled but sincere.
We settled back into the couch, cuddled up together, the weight of the past few weeks finally lifting.
After a long silence, I broke it with a playful smile.
“If you ever neglect me like that again, I’m breaking up with your ass,” I teased.
Lando laughed, his arms tightening around me. “Fair enough. But don’t worry, I won’t. Not ever again.”
And for the first time in weeks, I believed him.
The end
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1K notes · View notes
navybrat817 · 1 month ago
Text
Hold You Tight: Part 16
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Pairing: Club Owner!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader
Fic Summary: The owner of The 107th wants you to be his girl whether you like it or not.
Part 15 | Series Masterlist | Part 17
Chapter Word Count: Over 5.4k
Chapter Summary: Bucky tries to pull you closer when you want to pull away, and someone else in your life my not take no for an answer.
Chapter Warnings: DARK AU, arguing, tension, slight harassment, kissing, reference to stalking, inner turmoil, manipulation, Bucky Barnes (he's a warning, okay?), more warnings to come.
A/N: More Hold You Tight! Thank you for sticking with me! Bucky edit by the beautiful @nixakimbo ❤️ Beta read by the lovely @whisperlullaby but any and all mistakes are my own. Divider by the talented @firefly-graphics. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!
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Bucky traded lazy kisses with you as your tears slowed, and you had no idea if it was his mouth that had your heart pounding and the crushing weight of everything that surrounded him. It was so much to unpack. Every encounter with him seemed to be that way. Something blindsided you or suffocated you, but you hadn't been at all prepared for what he just shared. And how could you? He didn't keep photos of his mother around, and you hadn't gone poking around online.
Would you have found out the truth if you had?
He followed your lips when you pulled away. “It’s okay,” he whispered, pulling you back in.
It wasn’t okay. Nothing was okay. Though it partially made sense now why he was moving so fast. He believed if he met you then that you would've fallen in love and been together to this day. Because he didn't seek you out then and lost so much time, he was packing everything into a rushed time span. Dating, meeting his friends, getting you into his place. He was moving things along at an accelerated speed, and you were barely keeping up with the ride.
“No.” The muffled word against his lips somehow rang out loud and clear enough for him to stop, but you put a hand on his chest in case he tried to lean in again. “Why are you punishing me?”
His eyes rounded. “You think I’m punishing you? Jesus, why would you think that?”
“Because of how you went about all of this. I know you were desperate, and I get the drive behind some of your actions now,” you said, which you refused to excuse. You got it but couldn’t excuse it. “Your response of ‘where’s the fun in that?’ when I said you couldn’t just ask me out like a normal person? You almost seemed to delight in intimidating me. Why?”
If you saved his mom, why do this?
“I didn’t delight in that. I played it wrong,” he admitted in a quiet voice, surprising you. “I approached it like…”
“Like everything else in your life where you have everyone under your thumb through fear. You did the same thing to me.” You laughed just a little. “In a way, it worked because I’m officially afraid to try to leave you.”
Had things blossomed between you two organically, you’d like to believe that things would’ve been better. Healthy. There was always the chance that a relationship might’ve come to an end because life was like that. But if he frightened you enough to stay forever, he’d never have to worry. The stars would still align as far as he was concerned.
“I don’t want you to fear me or what we have,” he whispered, reaching for you as you scooted back.
“What we have? Tell me, do you think your mom would be proud of your actions to obtain me or ashamed?” You couldn’t believe that was the kind of man she raised, to put fear into the heart of the person he supposedly loved.
He flinched. Actually flinched. You might as well have raised a hand to him. “She…” He swallowed. “She would’ve wanted us together.”
“Like this? By you not giving me a choice?” you asked, pushing yourself up. “I need to go home.” There would be no getting through to him and this revelation was doing your head in. One cup of coffee wasn't enough either.
He got up to follow you. “Why are you rushing off?”
“I have a shift today, and I have to go home and shower,” you said, grabbing some of your things. “Don’t worry about dropping me off. I’ll get a cab.”
“What? No, you-”
“You put money in my account, so it’s not like I have to worry about paying for it. And it’s not like I’ll be alone either since you’ll have me followed whether I want it or not,” you said as a matter of fact.
“You’re putting a wall up,” he said, frowning as you grabbed your phone charger before he could. “Don’t shut me out, please.”
“I’m not shutting you out. I’m trying to process the gigantic bombshell you dropped on me,” you said, stopping to look at him when he grabbed your arm. “Bucky-”
“This has been a lot, all of it, but we can’t go back and change it, and you know I can’t let you go because we’re meant to be together,” he said, his eyes searching yours. “You feel it. I know you do.”
How many times would he say that until you agreed? “Just because you think fate stepped in-”
“Fate brought you into my club, but I gave it a much-needed push to bring us together after leaving things to chance for so long,” he said, tugging you closer and putting his other hand on your cheek. “You can’t tell me you don’t care about me in some capacity. You’re just afraid to admit it because it isn’t conventional in your eyes, but you don’t have to be afraid of how you feel.”
How could you truly fall in love with him when he orchestrated everything from the start? “Feelings or not you’re still going to force me to move in with you soon, and that scares me,” you said. Your wings would forever be clipped.
“We should’ve been living together and married by now,” he argued, keeping a tight hold on you. “I know I’m making you move in sooner than you want, but beyond safety it’ll give us a chance to really know each other before we get married.”
Talk of marriage had your heart thudding. The man would probably force you to marry him sooner than you wanted. “You said you already know everything about me,” you said. At least he thought he knew you. The vision of you he built up in his mind scared you, too. He couldn’t keep you on that pedestal.
“But you don’t fully know me yet, and I don’t know what it’s like to live with you. The experience will bring us closer together.” His smile was full of hope. “We can read together, do movie nights, dance in the kitchen.”
“Bucky-”
“We can exercise together, in and out of bed,” he continued, your breath hitching as he rubbed his nose against yours. “Don’t you already feel closer to me now that you know we're meant to be?”
A quick knock on the door followed by a long one saved you from answering. “It isn't check-out time, is it?”
“No. That would be Ray,” Bucky headed to the door and kept you back a small distance before he answered. The man really was protective, wasn't he?
“I’m sorry to intrude,” Ray said, giving you a polite nod before he leaned in and whispered something to Bucky. Whatever was said to him made his face harden. The entire change in his demeanor worried you.
“Kotyonok, let’s get your bag and get you back to your place so you can get ready for work,” he suggested, his smile tight.
“What’s the matter?” you asked.
“I’ll tell you later,” he answered, kissing your forehead. “And before we go, I know you suggested taking a cab, but please let Ray take you back to your place. It would make me feel better.”
The hint of a plea in his voice and the look in Ray’s eyes kept you from protesting. “Fine, Ray can take me home. Just give me a second to change out of these pajamas,” you said, a bit surprised that Bucky wasn’t offering to take you home himself. “But you are going to tell me later what’s going on, right?” you asked.
“I will, but I need some answers myself first. Get changed. I’ll get your bag,” he said, gently guiding you to the bathroom so you could change and officially ending that conversation.
Ray was still by the entry door once you came out, looking a bit stiffer than usual, too. You stole a glance at Bucky as the three of you headed to the elevator, catching the anger etched in his features as he gripped your bag handle tight enough that you thought it would rip. They were leaving you in the dark about something. You weren’t sure if you could take any other bombshells.
“Ray may need to pick you up from work instead of me, but I’ll message you if that’s the case,” Bucky said, fixing his hair in the elevator reflection. “And… we may need to talk about your girls’ day out.”
“What about it?” you asked, already knowing where he was going with this.
“If you can cancel or reschedule it,” he replied.
You stared hard at him. Where was that coming from? “No, it's tomorrow, and I’m not cancelling or rescheduling. And don’t you dare use Zemo as an excuse to get your way,” you snapped. Even if it was a valid reason, you didn’t want to hear it.
His jaw clenched, but he looked sad as he glanced at you. “I just don’t know if it’s a good idea.”
“We talked about this. If it’s a safety issue, Ray agreed that someone could watch out for me. That should keep me safe,” you reminded him. You’d be fine. “Right, Ray?”
The blonde stared straight ahead. “That isn’t my decision,” he said apologetically.
Your shoulders slumped. For a short time, you thought he could be on your side or at least help give you some slack. “Right. Because you don't get to make decisions, and neither do I. You’re a bodyguard, I’m just a doll,” you said, looking straight ahead, too, and pulling your hand back when Bucky tried to take it. “Please, don’t.”
“Kotyonok…” Bucky sighed as the door opened. You marched out, not waiting for either of them. “Wait.”
You headed straight for the desk, feeling sadder when you didn’t see Natasha. “Checking out, please,” you said, sliding the room card over to the woman standing there.
“Of course. I hope you enjoyed your stay.” She looked behind you likely at Bucky before giving you a smile. “Ms. Romanoff also wanted to remind you that you have a place here if you need one.”
“I’m sure I’ll take her up on that soon,” you said, turning your head to glare at Bucky. While his expression was stoic, his eyes told you he didn’t want you to be upset with him. “And make sure she adds an inconvenience fee to the damaged wall bill. She’ll know what I mean.”
“I’ll be sure to do that,” she smiled. “Take care.”
Bucky was hot on your heel and you didn't make it two steps out the door before he had a hand on you. “You’re upset with me. Putting up more of that wall.”
You didn't speak until Ray walked past you to get his car. “You’re trying to get me to cancel my day out with my friends, after you went through the whole charade of buying me a new dress for it and everything. And after what you told me about your mom.” You took a breath to try to calm down. “Yeah, I’m upset, and yeah, you’re supplying me with the very bricks to build that wall.”
“I said we may need to talk about it, I didn’t flat out say you weren’t going,” he corrected you. He might as well have. “I know it means a lot to you, but-”
You held a hand up. “No. There are no ‘buts’ in this. For all you keep taking from me, I don’t ask for much. I really don't,” you stated. In fact, you’ve shown lots of restraint. “Who knows how many moments I’ll get like this with my friends once you move me in.” He wasn’t about to take this small thing from you after everything.
He titled his head. “You think I’ll keep you from them?”
“Part of me thinks you will, yes. Because as soon as I think that there’s hope, the second I think that we could be closer together while you loosen the reins, you say or do something that puts me back in your full control,” you said. He had to see that. “And every time you do that, like you are right now, it makes me want to push you away.”
“And you can push all you want, but I’ll just pull you closer,” he smiled, making you huff when he actually did so. “I’m not afraid to let you burn me.”
“You keep saying that. Give me a match or a lighter and we’ll test that theory,” you said. He burst out laughing, the sound loud in the morning air as your eyes widened. “Why are you laughing?” you asked incredulously. How could he laugh when you were still worked up?
“Because even arguing with you makes me happy,” he sincerely stated. “And now all I want to do is find a way to put a smile back on your face.”
You exhaled. He was so in love with the idea of a relationship with you that arguments appealed to him? Anyone else would've walked away by now.
“You’re infuriating,” you whispered when he touched the corner of your mouth and made it twitch in a small smile. “Impossible.”
“I know,” he whispered back, running a hand through his hair. “Listen, you’re tired and you’re overwhelmed, which is completely my fault. Am I right?”
“Yes,” you sighed. He hit it right on the nose.
“And maybe I was rash in suggesting that you cancel your plans, but I need to take care of a couple things before we discuss that more,” he said, leading you to Ray's car before you could protest. “You just have a good shift, okay?”
He was placating you now, and it was sadly working. “Fine,” you said, touching his hand, the metal one. “I don’t think I said so earlier, but thank you for finally telling me the truth,” you said, calmer than you were moments before. He should've told you from the start, but it couldn't have been easy reopening old wounds regarding his dad.
His gaze softened. “Thank you for letting me.”
“And whatever Ray told you or whatever’s going on, just breathe, okay?” you begged.
He took a deep breath. “I’ll just think of you and it’ll help,” he said, adding in a low voice as he pulled you against him. “And this.”
This was nothing like the slow, languid kisses from minutes ago. This was dominant, claiming, threatening to rob you of the air in your lungs, like he wanted you to feed your own breath into him. He either forgot Ray was there, or he simply didn’t care.
By the time Bucky stopped kissing you and helped you into the car, you didn’t want to look either of them in the eye.
“I love you,” he whispered, kissing your temple and shutting the door as your heart flip flopped. God, he was insufferable. Confusing. Obsessed.
“You're certainly keeping him on his toes,” Ray said, not driving off until he made sure Bucky was in his vehicle, too.
“Someone has to,” you said, staring out the window. “I’m going with my friends tomorrow. I don't care if he makes you drag me back,” you said. Unless your life was in some sort of immediate danger, there was no reason for you to skip out on meeting up with the girls.
“So you’re aware, the suggestion of you moving your day out has nothing to do with wanting to control you. He’s upset because of the news I delivered and he wants to keep you close,” Ray explained, making you feel a little bad.
“So, that news was the reason why you both changed your tune, and you can't tell me what that news is,” you guessed. If you were in some sort of danger though, surely Bucky would’ve said so. “He told me about his mom. How I saved her.”
Silence filled the vehicle. “So, you know the truth,” he said after a minute, his voice neutral. “Are you okay?”
“I’m trying to be,” you answered carefully. You really were.
“That’s all you can do,” he said before adding under his breath, “No good deed goes unpunished.”
You snorted. “I guess I'm living breathing proof of that.” It was ironic how an act of kindness put you on this path. “And as much as I don't like to wish pain upon people, I hope Bucky's dad got whatever he deserved.”
Winnie, from the short time you knew her, was nothing but wonderful. Bucky said the dahlia painting in his office served as a reminder that he would never do to you what his dad did to his mom. He would never set you up to take the fall for anyone else, wouldn’t let someone else hurt you if he could help it. He would forever stand by you.
Was pushing him away doing you any good?
“He did,” Ray promised you. “And I say with complete sincerity that I hope today is very uneventful for you after the time you've had.”
Your nose scrunched as you laughed. “So do I, Ray. So do I.”
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Ray was kind enough to wait outside of your place as you showered and got ready for work, and didn't push you to talk more before he dropped you off at the shop. He was even kind enough to stop so you could get another cup of coffee. It helped improve your mood.
“There she is!” Kate smiled when you walked in. “Little miss not-so-single anymore.”
“Hey,” you giggled before you paused. “I didn't know you were working today. Did you switch shifts with someone?”
“God, the schedule’s all messed up. Mrs. Crandle called out for some business thing-”
“Business thing?” you asked, your brows pinched. She hardly ever took time off for things like vacation let alone a business thing without informing her staff.
“Yeah, I’m not really sure about all the details, but Lorraine ended up switching the whole schedule around. Mya’s coming in later, and I had to come in early, and your shift’s ending early.”
“What?” you frowned, checking the schedule to make sure. She was right. Your shift today was almost cut in half. “Would’ve been nice to get a text or something.”
The assistant manager wasn't bad to work with, but she could be a little forgetful with things like that. If Bucky hadn't just put money in your account, you may have been more upset over having half a shift cut. After the night and morning you had though, maybe an afternoon off wouldn't be so bad.
“She probably forgot since you were coming in at your normal time. Who knows?” Kate shrugged. “You know, I half expected Clark to be here waiting for you. Seemed really eager to see you yesterday.”
“Yeah, about that.” You looked toward the door, your body tense in anticipation even though he wasn't there. “Why did you tell him I was working today?”
“He’s kind of a regular, and I didn't really think about it. Then Mrs. Crandle brought up your boyfriend and…” Her face fell as she stopped cutting stems, which made you feel bad when she glanced your way. “Crap, I did something wrong, didn't I?”
You weren’t about to go into specifics regarding your personal situation. “I just don’t want customers to know when my shifts are unless I’m specifically working on an order or event for them, okay?” you said, hoping she understood that it was a general request.
Bucky was not getting in your head about your safety.
“Okay, as long as you aren’t mad,” she said. You gave her a smile to assure her that you were okay. “So, tell me about your new boyfriend.”
You filled her in as much as you could to make it sound believable, just like you had with Addison. Like her and Mrs. Crandle, Kate was excited for you. And they would never know the full truth.
As your shift went on, you were surprised you hadn't heard much from Bucky. It was for the best though. He was clearly dealing with something. As much as you didn't want to defend him in your mind, it had taken a lot for him to talk about his parents. To show you some of the damage done to his body. It was a vulnerable moment. Did you owe it to him to be vulnerable, too?
Wait, why did you owe him anything?
“Heading out?” Kate asked once your shift was up.
“Yeah,” you replied, glancing at your phone. You wondered if you should text Bucky before you decided against it. You'd let him know once you got to your place that you wouldn't need a ride. “Just call me if you need me to come back in.”
“Don’t worry about that. Enjoy the rest of your day!” she smiled.
Satisfied when you didn't see Bucky or Ray’s car waiting for you either, you decided to take a walk. It was a nice day, and you needed the fresh air. You hoped the weather was nice for the winery. You’d have to take photos to look back on what was going to be a fun time.
“Hey!” you heard someone shout after a few minutes of walking.
You stopped when you spotted Clark waving at you from the other side of the street. You barely waved back before he joined you. “Hey. What are you doing here?”
“Oh, I was just in the neighborhood,” he smiled, pushing his glasses up. “You done working already?”
“Yep,” you said, adjusting your bag. “And I should really-”
“Could we talk for a minute?” he asked.
You hesitated before nodding. “Sure,” you said, falling in step beside him.
“You know, I actually went to the shop to buy you flowers yesterday. I was going to buy you some roses,” he smiled.
Oh, God. “You were?”
“Yeah, but you weren’t there and… It doesn’t matter,” he smiled, shoving his hands in his pockets. “But I was thinking… Maybe we could grab a coffee sometime? My treat.”
The hopeful look in his eyes made a pit form in your stomach. “Clark, I’m seeing someone,” you said, his blue eyes dimming. Hadn’t Kate said that Mrs. Crandle brought up that you were in a relationship? “It’s fairly new, and I don’t want to mess things up,” you explained, though he wasn’t owed an explanation.
“I didn’t want to believe it,” he mumbled, kicking a small rock on the sidewalk. “Well, if it’s fairly new, I'm sure you can get coffee with other people.”
“Get coffee with people? Yes. But this kind of sounds like a date, and I don’t think that’s a good idea. I’m sorry,” you said. That would feel like cheating even if you didn't consider it a date, and you weren't that kind of person.
“Then we won’t call it a date,” he grinned.
Maybe you were feeling paranoid, but there was something weird behind his smile. “You just got out of a relationship, and I don’t want to send mixed signals by agreeing to go with you.”
His smile shook a bit. “It's just a coffee.”
“Is it?” The longer he stared, the more odd things felt, and you didn’t like it. “Listen, when you find someone else to give flowers to I’d be happy to pick some out for you.”
“I don't understand.” He laughed, but it sounded bitter. “You’ve always been nice to me.”
“Well, yeah. You’ve always been kind, too, when you come into the shop.”
“Too nice for someone like Bucky Barnes,” he muttered, his smile disappearing completely.
You gaped at him, almost faltering in your step. “What did you just say?”
“I said you’re too nice for someone like Bucky Barnes,” he said louder, his ire clear as day. “You think I don’t know about his reputation? He’s dangerous, and you’re too good for him.”
“How do you know I’m dating him?” you asked. And what did he know about his reputation?
He was quiet for a moment. “Mrs. Crandle said his name, and she has no idea what kind of man he is,” he said, making you feel uneasy. “I don’t think you do either.”
Oh, you knew plenty. “I appreciate your concern, really, but it’s nothing for you to worry about.”
“Well, I do. And I just don’t see why we can’t have one cup of coffee together,” he said, flashing a smile again. “It’ll be fun.”
“Because you know I’m seeing someone,” you said. He knew it before he bumped into you, but was still pushing for you to go with him. “And I also kind of make it a rule not to date customers,” you added, stopping when you got to your building. You walked faster than you thought.
“Well, rules should have exceptions, right? And if Bucky cared so much, where is he? Why wasn’t he waiting to pick you up and take you home?” he pressed, his eyes narrowing when you dug into your purse. “Maybe he doesn’t care about you as much as you think.”
Your next breath came out shaky. He hadn’t raised his voice at you, but you didn’t appreciate the third degree, or the implication that Bucky didn’t care. “Because he’s a busy man who sometimes works both days and nights. I don’t expect him to drop everything just to take me home.”
“If you took a chance on me, you’d never have to worry about things like that.”
You were starting to feel nauseous. “Well, sometimes I like the quiet after the bustle of the shop, so walking helps me decompress. And I can't take a chance on you when I’m seeing someone else.” Why was he being so pushy?
He took a small step closer. “You know, it’s dangerous to walk home alone.”
You took a step back, your keys between your fingers. “You’re right about that,” you agreed. The only reason you did so today was to take back a little control, which didn’t seem so smart now.
“I can start walking you home if you want,” he smiled, towering over you. Was he always so imposing? “When’s your next shift?”
You managed a smile in return, but it was extremely forced. “Clark, that’s really not necessary, but thank you for the offer. Enjoy the rest of your day.”
He gently took your arm when you turned toward the door, worry crawling up your spine when his hand tightened a fraction. You suddenly wish you had Bucky or Ray around. “I really don’t mind.”
“My boyfriend will mind, and I’m sure you can understand that. So it’s a no on the coffee and the walks home,” you said gently but firmly, pulling your arm back and rubbing the spot where Clark grabbed you. He wasn’t listening. It somehow felt worse than Bucky and you couldn’t pinpoint why. Was it because Clark tried to act nice? “It’s been a long few days, and I’m going to get some rest. Have a nice day, okay?”
His eyes narrowed again, but it was his chilling smile that unnerved you. “I’m sure I'll see you again soon. We’ll have to get that coffee,” he said, walking off before you could say another word.
You rushed into the building once he was out of sight, your hands shaking. It may have been from the confrontation or the combination of everything. Maybe Clark was just lonely and latched on a bit because you were nice. Hadn't Bucky done something similar?
But if Clark wanted to see you, why hadn't he just gone into the shop if he knew you were working?
Double checking your locks once you were in your apartment, you took a breath and stared at your phone once you sat down. You had to talk to Bucky. He answered within a few seconds of you calling.
“Kotyonok, is everything okay?” he asked, sounding both happy and concerned to hear from you.
“Yeah, why wouldn’t it be?” you asked, hearing a few other men speaking in the background.
“Because you’re calling me and not texting. And you sound a little off. What’s wrong?”
“Everything’s fine,” you lied. How did he recognize that you felt off? “I just wanted you to know that the assistant manager changed my shift, so I went home early.”
“Wait, you’re already home?” he asked. The background noise suddenly stopped. “Did you get a cab? Please tell me you didn’t walk back to your place.”
“…Fine, I won’t tell you that.”
Bucky let out an impressive string of curse words as you pulled the phone away from your ear. “That’s not safe. You know it isn’t,” he hissed, but you knew he wasn’t actually angry with you. Just the situation. And bumping into Clark today and Zemo the day before, he had a bit of a point. “You did that on purpose, didn’t you? Because I said it may not be a good idea to go out with your friends.”
You closed your eyes. He was not going to make you feel bad. “I just needed a breather, okay? And I made it home just fine.”
“But did you? How do I know someone didn’t follow you?” he asked. Clark’s face flashed in your mind when you stayed quiet. “…Kotyonok, did someone follow you?”
“No one followed me that I know of,” you said. You really didn't have any idea. “But… I did bump into Clark. He was in the neighborhood.”
“Clark? That guy from the shop who tried to give you flowers just happened to be in your neighborhood when I wasn't around?” he asked, fury seeping into his tone as you winced.
“I… I’m sure it was a coincidence,” you said. Placating him in this wasn’t going to work, but you had to try.
“That isn’t a fucking coincidence and we both know it. Did he say anything? Try anything?”
You shut your eyes. It would be like ripping off a band-aid. “He asked me to go get a cup of coffee with him, but I told him I was seeing someone.”
He chuckled humorlessly. “He asked you out?” he asked, making you shift in your seat. “Why the fuck do I not have a file on him yet?!” he snapped at someone in the background.
“I’m working on it, boss!” you heard someone promise. “Should I call-”
“No. I’ll call him myself,” Bucky growled.
Who was he talking about? “Bucky, it’s okay. The guy asked me out and I said no,” you assured him. You weren't going to go out with Clark. “I’m sure women throw themselves at you every day and you turn them down.”
“They don't ‘bump’ into me in my neighborhood. And had you told me you were leaving early, I could’ve made sure this guy didn’t go anywhere near you. I don’t even want him near your shop until I know more about him,” he said, his anger not lessening. “If he tries anything, I will tear him apart piece by fucking piece,” he promised you, the intensity in his tone making your throat go dry.
“That isn’t necessary,” you whispered.
He sighed. “Why would you deliberately put yourself in a spot like this just to prove a point? Be pissed at me, I can take that, but do not risk your safety,” he said, adding in a quieter voice, “I couldn’t take it if something happened to you.”
You bit the inside of your cheek, hating how guilty you felt, how worried he sounded on your behalf. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to worry you,” you said. It was stubborn and dumb on your part, and now you were afraid that Bucky really would try to cancel your day out tomorrow. You couldn’t let him. “I’ll make it up to you, okay?”
“Make it up to me?” he asked. That seemed to get his attention. “How are you going to do that?”
“I’ll…” you began, steadying yourself. Natasha said you had power, and maybe you’d have to test that sooner than you expected. “Stay at your place tonight.”
You could hear a pin drop from the quiet. “You’ll stay the night?” he asked, his voice moving like lava through your veins.
“Yes,” you whispered, hammering the nail in the coffin.
“Give me two hours and I'll come get you,” he said, his voice strained, eager. “Be ready.”
“I will be.”
God, you hoped you knew what you were doing.
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Oh, Clark. He's a problem now, isn't he? What do we think Ray told Bucky? And what's going to happen when you spend the night? Love and thanks for reading! ❤️
Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi
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solxamber · 1 month ago
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If the holiday event is still open!!! Savanaclaw, 7, and hurt/comfort, please!
Enough || Leona Kingscholar
For the Holiday Event! || Prompt: "For you, anything." ; Genre: Hurt/Comfort
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Leona’s room was its usual state of organized chaos: clothes draped over furniture, books stacked haphazardly, and the scent of the sun lingering in the air. You didn’t mind—it felt like home by now. Balancing a bag of takeaway in one hand and a few borrowed novels in the other, you nudged open the door.
“Hey, I brought—”
“Herbivore, you ever knock?” Leona’s voice was gruff, but his ears perked up as soon as he spotted the bag.
You rolled your eyes with a grin. “If I knocked, you’d just grunt at me to come in anyway.”
He let out a low chuckle, propping himself up against the headboard. “Fair enough. What’d you bring?”
“Your favorites,” you said, handing him the food before settling beside him on the bed. He made a sound of approval, already pulling the containers open.
For a while, the two of you ate in companionable silence, the quiet only broken by the rustle of packaging and the occasional murmur about the book you’d brought. This had become your routine—takeaway, a cozy spot in Leona’s room, and shared stories.
It was simple, but it was yours.
Yet tonight, something was off. Leona wasn’t lounging in his usual carefree way. His tail twitched more than usual, and his eyes held a distant look, as if he were somewhere else entirely.
“What’s wrong?” you asked, nudging his knee with yours.
He stiffened slightly but didn’t answer immediately. Instead, he stared down at the container in his hands, his expression unreadable.
“You deserve better than this,” he muttered finally, almost too low for you to hear.
“Better than… takeout?” You frowned, trying to make sense of his words.
“Better than sitting in this damn room all the time. Better than a guy who can’t even take you out somewhere nice without people whispering about the lazy second prince,” he bit out, his tone sharper than intended. “I should—I don’t know—do more for you.”
Your heart clenched at his words. You knew how deeply Leona cared, even if he rarely said it outright. His guilt now, his frustration with himself—it wasn’t the first time you’d seen him like this, but it still hurt to hear.
“Leona…” You reached out, placing your hand over his. His grip tightened slightly, but he didn’t pull away. “I don’t care about fancy dinners or big gestures. You know that, right?”
He didn’t respond, his ears twitching as he avoided your gaze.
“Hey, look at me.” You gently cupped his face, forcing him to meet your eyes. “You show me you care in a hundred little ways. Like how you always make sure I’m comfortable when I’m here, or how you let me hog the blankets even though you complain about it. I know you care. I don’t need anything more than what you already give me.”
His expression softened, the tension in his shoulders easing slightly. “You’re too good for me, herbivore.”
You shook your head with a small smile. “I’m exactly where I want to be.”
For a moment, he was quiet, his thumb brushing over your knuckles. Then, his voice dropped, low and sincere: “I'll try harder. For you, anything.”
It was rare for Leona to be so open, so vulnerable. The weight of his promise hung between you, heavy with meaning.
“And for you,” you said softly, leaning forward to rest your forehead against his, “I’ll always be here.”
He exhaled deeply, pulling you into his arms. The rest of the night was spent like so many others, wrapped up in each other, sharing quiet moments and whispered reassurances.
It was simple, but it was enough.
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luveline · 1 year ago
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would you ever be willing to write the day spencer and stripper!reader met in the grocery store? i’ve always loved the concept when you’ve referenced it in the story, i would love to read it👀 you’re absolutely incredible and i can never say anything not anon to you because my blog is flooding you with notes constantly and i’m embarrassed😅
thank you for your request ❤️ fem!reader, 1.5k
cw for domestic violence and workplace abuse
There's this weird organic grocery store by Spencer's place that's far too expensive, but it's a ten minute walk, so that's where he goes. (Weird in separation to organic.) 
He needs a lot of groceries now he's home for the week. Bread, vegetables, rice, flour if he wants to try and make pancakes, which he does. He also needs a new pen to write a letter for his mom, but Leaven is slightly too small for a stationery section. 
He doesn't know what he'll say to her in this one. Maybe that the cases he's going on are easy, or that he's been reading about crows. She's not feeling well lately. It might help her to know he's doing gentle things, even if it isn't true. 
No, he thinks. Can't lie to her. He never lies to his mom. 
Eggs. Sugar. Coffee grounds. He fills his cart. It'll be a lot to carry on the way home, but better to do it in one go. He likes keeping busy but he's a human being, too, and he's looking forward to spending at least sixteen hours in bed after dinner tonight. 
You look tired, too. 
Your back is turned, but Spencer knows it's you. You must live close by, he's been seeing you duck in and out for months. Usually with a loaf of bread or a single box of painkillers tucked in your pocket. You don't steal, he'd be able to tell, and he wouldn't say anything if you did, anyways. All he knows about you is that you have a nice smile when you have the energy, and your voice is like silk. Purposeful or by nature, he's yet to guess. 
You're standing by the end of the aisle near the checkouts with a basket hanging from your fingers. All you're buying today is a box of pancake mix and a bag of peas. 
Weird, he thinks with a smile. Spencer likes weird stuff. It's quirky. 
You turn to see which checkout is empty and Spencer's smile abruptly drops. 
You have a bruise across half of your face. It isn't strictly fresh —he can see the split skin on your cheek starting to close in on itself, and your purpled eye is open (though barely). You're frowning. Spencer knows how bad it hurts to get hurt like that. For a split second he can't believe someone could do that to another person, and then he remembers the hundreds of women he's had the privilege to meet at their most vulnerable, who trusted him, and he thinks maybe he's capable of helping another one. 
“Hey,” he says. 
You meet his eyes with a funny smile. “Hey. Sorry, am I in the way?” you ask, your voice stretched, thin but not weak. 
“No, you're not, it's… I see you here all the time.” 
You hold your breath. When you talk, it rushes out. “So?” you ask wearily.
“Are you okay?” 
Your funny smile fades as Spencer's had. He supposes that's the talent of cruelty. Even when it's over, it's not truly over. Your bruise still hurts, and Spencer still needs to know you'll be okay when you go home tonight. 
“I see you all the time too. We've… we've actually spoken before, haven't we?” you ask after a moment. 
“Yeah, about spirometry. I was out of breath running and–” It doesn't matter. You asked him if he was okay, and he explained that he was, just that his lungs don't hold much air on account of his own laziness, and it doesn't matter. “Are you? Alright? It's a bad bruise.” 
“It's getting better.” 
It might be, but there's something so raw about seeing you standing there in your sweatpants too big for you and a hoodie with a hole in it, purple and yellow contusion across your eyes and nose like the clumsy stroke of a paintbrush. Spencer will admit to feeling sorry for you.
“Can I talk to you?” he asks, knowing this isn't the right place. “There's the cafe at the front? Let me pay for my stuff and–” 
“I'm really okay–” 
“You had a cast on your wrist two weeks ago and now you're here with a limp and a really bad bruise,” he says softly, imploringly, “I just wanna talk to you about it. You don't have to say yes, I'm not trying to be weird, but I–” 
You cut off his mile a minute speech with a small smile. “Okay. I'm not, you know, doing anything anyways. It'll be nice to sit down.” 
Spencer knows it's dumb, but he wants to show he has good intentions. He takes your basket out of your hands and nods toward the cafe past the checkouts. “I'll come and meet you.” 
“You don't have to,” you say, gesturing at the basket. 
“The damage is done, right? This place is ridiculous.” He doesn't like the way you're holding your hip. It makes him feel sick, even though there's no proof one way or another to say you've been hurt beyond your bruising.
He pays for his things and yours and meets you at the cafe. He's half expecting you to have bolted, but you sit at a table near the entrance, completely still. 
Spencer puts his two bags under the table and offers you your pancake mix and peas in their own bag. 
“Thanks.” 
“Yeah, no problem.” 
“It was my boss.” You look at your fingers, spreading them slowly over the table top. “I’m a dancer. Sorry. I know you’re going to ask.” 
“And he hit you?” 
“Yeah.” 
Spencer knows the number for every women’s shelter in every state, but he doubts it would matter to you. He can tell already that you’d say no. He can tell you’re scared, even if you don’t realise it yourself. “Is it getting worse?”
You can’t offer him anything else. He understands how that feels. There have been moments where he desperately wanted to tell someone, anyone, what was going on in his life, but he always holds his secrets like a perpetual ache in his throat. It’s like he can’t tell someone, even if they ask. 
Sometimes he just wishes they’d ask twice. 
“You can tell me. It won’t sound stupid,” he promises. He’s in some odd place between Agent Reid and young, terrified Spencer, determined to help you, but not sure how. “It’s getting worse, right?” 
“Yeah,” you say, the weight of tears on your tongue. 
“You’re a dancer. Is he just a boss– Does he… abuse you financially?” 
You laugh wetly. “He’s not my pimp.” 
He can feel his face heating up.’“No, but do you get paid on time? Everything you earn?” 
You shake your head. “No, I don’t get paid on time. He takes a percentage, and somehow there’s always another percentage, and then discipline. And now…” 
“Now he’s hitting you.” Very badly. 
“I’m not stupid.” 
Spencer frowns gently, talks softly, “I didn’t mean to imply that you were.” 
“No, I know, but I need you to know I’m not stupid. When we talked before, you– you’re so smart, I bet you know so many smart people.” 
He’s not sure where you’re going with this. Perhaps you don’t want to talk about being hurt anymore. It must be a kind of torture to be hurting and know that that hurting will come again. There isn’t an end in sight for you, just right now. 
“Can I buy you something to eat?” 
“I have money,” you say, taking your small purse from your pocket. There are a few notes wedged inside. 
“You can’t take painkillers on an empty stomach, and you should take painkillers again soon. You had some before you came, and they’re wearing off.” He meets your confused frown with a frown of his own. “Your hands are twitching like you want to move away from yourself.” 
“You’re very perceptive,” you say in that smooth murmur. Power clawed back, he thinks. You’re protecting one of the things you can control about how you’re seen when everything else is far from it. 
“I’m a profiler. Do you,” —he tries not to sound hoity toity— “know what that is?” 
“No.” 
“I’m an FBI agent.” You’re laughing as he takes out his badge. He joins you. “I know it sounds like I’m making it up.” Spencer offers you his identification passport slowly, so you know he isn’t wielding it around to be an asshole. “I’m in the behavioural analysis unit. We analyse the way people act. That’s why I know you’re in pain.” 
You take his badge, looking between his photo and his real face with a growing smile. “If you need all that to know I’m in pain, you’re not as smart as you think,” you tease, gesturing to the mottled skin of your bruise sweetly. 
Spencer buys you both cold sandwiches from the front of the shop and a drink to wash down your aspirin. It’s awkward, he guesses, but he’s used to that by now, and under it he can feel your palpable relief. You trust him to not hurt you, if nothing else, and he can work with that. 
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opennwindows · 1 year ago
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May I request a smoll eyeless jack x f reader nsfw story? Or headcanons?
eyeless jack x fem reader NSFW hcs
cw: 18+ content, medical kink, breeding kink, biting, blood, kinda disrespecting boundaries?? kinda not??, afab fem aligned reader
a/n: hey let’s all ignore my wildly different formatting for each post until i figure out wtf i’m doing lmfao. i decided to do hcs for this since i enjoy rambling and i have a couple fics already lined up and those take significantly longer for me to write!! i hope that’s okay anon, i just want to get more stuff posted :) also i threw a bunch of random ideas together for this so if you’d like anything else more specific please req again!
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sooo we all know eyeless jack is a demon, right? to say dude is into some freaky shit would be an understatement.
- jack has a higher sex drive than most due to his demon tendencies. pair that with the rush he gets after a good evening of organ harvesting and you’re in for a Very Long Night. his stamina is also no joke.
- wear a short skirt? it’s getting cut off with his scalpel. accidentally slice your finger while chopping vegetables? well you better turn off the stove because he’s bending you over it. he senses you’re ovulating? he’s fucking you twice as much.
- if you’re into medical play and getting cut up with surgery tools he will be over the moon.
- if not, you’re gonna have to have a sit down talk with jack. he will do his best, but he can end up viewing you as just a lowly human at times. you’re gonna have to put your foot down sternly to fully gain his respect. he cares about your boundaries (somewhat), it just takes a minute to get through to his human side.
- on that note, don’t even dream of dominating him. he’ll laugh in your face and restrain you if the idea even crosses your mind. the thought of a weaker being telling him what to do during sex is comical to jack. he might let you ride him if he’s feeling lazy, but his clawed hands will be gripped around your waist as a silent reminder of who’s in charge.
- he’s into degradation. not the typical “you’re a whore” shit. no, this guy will take every chance to remind you that you’re just a fragile little human that’s only breathing because he lets you. if you feed into his ego, jack will reward you with his face between your thighs for hours.
- ooh let me take a moment to talk about this monster’s tongue. godly is an ironic term to describe anything involving jack but it’s the only fitting word. it’s long, slightly textured, quick and strong. he looooves to edge you until you inevitably break and the only words you can form are broken pleas. you’re gonna have to pry him off of you during your periods. he’s a little nasty
- jack will pretty much refuse to cum anywhere that isn’t inside you or your mouth. during sex, he tends to fully give into his animalistic demon qualities. meaning the only thing running through his mind is ‘breed, breed, breed.’
- big corruption kink. like MASSIVE. i think all the pastas have some form of corruption kink, but obviously the whole demon thing brings it to a new level. if you were a virgin when you met him, he’s gonna have to physically restrain himself from pouncing on you the second its brought up in conversation.
- let’s talk about positions. jack’s not really picky as long as he’s fucking your brains out but he does have a few favorites. mating press is almost always a winner since it feeds into his need to breed (i crack myself up). missionary is a classic that ensures he can have complete control. jack is also a fan of fucking on operating tables???? don’t ask me ask him, he’s odd. his least favorites involve 69, cowgirl, or pretty much anything that involves you on top of him. he doesn’t really get tired so doing all the work doesn’t bother him.
- will 100% spit in your mouth and he doesn’t care if you think it’s gross. get used to it sorry. if you’re into it then you’ve won.
- probably will throw a tantrum if he finds out you masturbated without him. he’s given you so much special attention and you still want more? well. he’s gonna fuck you so hard that you’ll be too sore to even think about touching yourself. i’m praying for you girl good luck.
- LOVES TO BITE ON YOUR CHEST AND NECK. i cannot stress this enough. and he WILL draw blood, i mean his mouth is full of sharp teeth so it’s basically a given. bro will be fucking you and straight up take a drink break FROM YOUR THROAT. be prepared to never show your neck or cleavage in public ever again. unless you’re into that. then you go girl, we’re all cheering for you.
- jack thinks it’s hilarious to say terrifying unsexy shit during sex. “i can’t wait to cut you open and eat those delicious kidneys that belong to me….” you just look at him with your mouth open. you’d be better off ignoring his annoying ass he (probably) doesn’t mean it.
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zepskies · 1 year ago
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Love, By Any Other Name
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Pairing: Castiel x F. Reader
Summary: You want him. Castiel can’t help but crave you. Dean sees both of you and wishes you’d stop being idiots.
AN: This is my first ever commission! Written for @girlsforpjm, who requested "mutual pining" with Castiel. Here you go, lovely! I sincerely hope you enjoy it. 💜
**Also, this is set during season 12.
Song Inspo: “Wicked Game” by Chris Isaak
Word Count: 4,500
Tags/Warnings: Mutual pining, angst, blood and injury, (contains events from 12.12), fluff, some spice, implied smut.
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“Achooo!!”
Sam grimaces while he watches you wipe your nose against your bare wrist. You shake your head and frown at the dusty tomes piled high beside you. You and Sam have been organizing the library for two hours now.
“That’s it, I can’t do this anymore,” you lament. “I need a break. My sinuses need a break.”
Sam’s lips twitch at a smile. “It’s okay. I got the rest of these.”
You aim a lazy salute at your friend and continue to sniffle as you leave the library. You circle this labyrinth of a bunker for a while, but you can’t seem to find the trench coat-wearing angel that’s supposed to live here too.
You end up in the garage, where Dean is tuning up his Baby. His shirt sleeves are rolled up to the elbows, and he’s got a grease stain across his cheek.
“Hey, you seen Cas?” you ask.
Dean barely perks up from under Baby’s hood to answer you. “He went out this morning. Haven’t seen him since.”
You pout at that, leaning against the side of the car near where Dean is tinkering.
“Is it too much to ask for him to leave a note or something?” you mutter.
Dean finally glances over at you. His lips edge at a smirk.
“What, miss your little boyfriend?” he teases.
The insinuation manages to take you by surprise. Your face starts to warm in embarrassment, but you cover it with a scoff.
“You should know. He was your boyfriend first,” you volley back. Dean’s expression flattens in annoyance.
“Don’t you have anything better to do right now?” he snarks.
“Nope,” you reply, popping the “P.” But you have mercy on him.
Instead of pestering him further, you just tip over the screwdriver he had balanced on the car’s frame. He makes a sound of protest as it falls somewhere between the gears inside his precious car.
He barks your name, and his angry voice echoes on the walls to magnify his frustration, but you’re already hastening back into the hall and down to the kitchen, trying to stifle your laughter.
You’ve slipped into the kitchen to escape. Yet that’s where you find the bunker’s resident angel, washing his hands of what looks like breadcrumbs in the sink.
“Hey,” you greet him jovially. He treats you with a small smile. “Where were you?”
“Oh, nowhere really. Just stepped out for a bit,” he replies. You get the sense that he’s hiding something. You smile and step closer to him, leaning a hand on the counter.
“Oh, yeah? Where?” you ask. Your eyes gleam with amusement. “Another ‘mission on high?’”
He sends you a droll look. “No.”
You tug on his sleeve. “Come on. Tell me.”
He smiles in return, and he gives you his own version of teasing.
“Childishness doesn’t become you,” he says.
“I’m just curious. You’ve been gone all day,” you reply, tilting your head. Your stare is unyielding, and familiar; Cas knows how stubborn you can be when you want something—especially information. Sometimes he finds it annoying, but in moments like these, it’s tempered by your playful, endearing smile.
“I was on a walk,” he finally admits.
You raise your brows. “A walk? Cas, it’s winter. Like 20 degrees outside.”
“I enjoy nature,” he shrugs. “The cold doesn’t bother me much anyway.”
…Well, he is an angel. You suppose it makes sense that he doesn’t feel the frigid weather like a human would. Your brow quirks with another curious thought.
“So you were washing your hands because…?” you ask.
Castiel’s face becomes a little more bashful. “I was feeding the birds some bread.”
At that, your smile grows. Here he is: Castiel, warrior angel of the Lord, Feeder of Pigeons.
“Well, if you ever want a walking companion, I’d be happy to join you,” you offer.
Castiel gives you a certain look, like he doesn’t quite believe you. 
Your lips purse. “What?”
He sinks his hands into his pockets as he leans his slightly hunched form back on his heels.
“Nothing,” he claims. “It’s only, I seem to remember you forcing Dean to kill a spider in your room. You claimed, and I quote, bastard things that crawl don’t belong indoors.”
You cross your arms and stare back at him narrowly, even though you try to stifle a smile.
“What’s your point? Everyone’s afraid of spiders,” you reason.
He raises a brow. “You also claim to have a vendetta against birds.”
“Pigeons, Castiel. They’re rats with wings.” Even Dean would agree with you on that one.
Castiel gives you a dubious look, however.
“Forgive me if I’m skeptical of your supposed love of nature,” he says drolly.
You want to argue more, but Sam enters the room with Dean on his heels. Both men seem to sense they’ve interrupted something. You clear your throat and turn to them.
“What’s up?” you ask, more nonchalant than you feel whenever you’re near the angel beside you. Castiel glances at you, before he too silently addresses Sam and Dean.
“Uh, we’ve caught a case,” Sam says. “It’s not far. Three dead, all with their hearts, and most of their internal organs ripped out.”
“Ech,” you reply with a grimace. “Sounds kind of like a ghoul. Maybe a werewolf on steroids?”
“Well, they were fresh kills, and it’s a full moon. So more than likely we’re looking at werewolves,” he replies.
You smile thinly. “Great.”
You hate werewolves.
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Correction: you really hate werewolves.
The thought hits you yet again as you lay on the floor of a dusty old hunting cabin.
The irony.
Dean hefts you in his arms, after slicing his silver blade through the heart of the yellow-eyed bastard that tore you open with his claws.
“It’s bad, isn’t it?” you ask, hating how your voice trembles. Dean doesn’t answer you at first. He holds his hand to the oozing gash in your side.
“Nah, you’ll be okay. Just hang in there,” he says. Blood quickly covers his palm. He curses inside his mind.
“Cas!” he calls out roughly.
The angel had been fighting in the other the room with Sam, but after he burns out the eyes of the last werewolf and its body falls to the ground, he hears the undercurrent of alarm in Dean’s shouting. With Sam on his heels, he returns to the living room to find you and Dean.
Castiel’s steps halt in the doorway when he sees you. His face slackens for a moment, but then he hardens. He moves forward swiftly.
“Move,” he says to Dean in order to come to your side. Dean’s eyes widen, but he does as he’s told after laying you down to the floor. 
Castiel stares down at your face, offering you comfort with his eyes. You stare up at him in pain, but also with hope, and trust. You’re able to curl your fingers around the edge of his trench coat.
Then he presses his hand to your cheek. He closes his eyes in concentration while he heals you. 
Though he expels more power than he should to heal you completely. He knows it when his body sways a little after he’s done. Dean grabs his shoulder to keep him steady.
“You good?” Dean asks.
Castiel nods; he’s more focused on the way you’re catching your breath. You marvel at how your wounds, your pain, and even your blood is gone—completely washed away. He helps you sit up with an arm wrapping around your shoulders. Then he gathers you tight against him, so he can help you stand as well. He wavers again on his feet, just a little, but you’re too perceptive not to catch it. You realize he did too much to save you.
You still chide at him with a frown. “You didn’t have to use up so much of your energy.”
Castiel shakes his head. “Think nothing of it.”
Those are useless words, but you don’t bother arguing with him anymore. You just sigh and hold onto his strong arms while regaining your balance. You know for a fact that you’re blushing when you glance up at him.
Biting your lip, you soon turn away to grab the knife you’d dropped in the fight.
Without you or Cas noticing, Sam and Dean share a knowing glance. It’s subtle, in the way the brothers have perfected. Dean barely curbs a smile as he leads the way back to the car. 
You settle next to Cas in the backseat and try not to glance at him too often. You don’t know that he’s trying not to do the same to you.
Dean glances back at you two in the rearview mirror. He shakes his head.
Idiots.
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Mary Winchester has been a welcome return to the family…when she’s here. Ever since Amara brought her back, she’s been distant with her sons. You don’t understand it all that well, but it’s not your place to say anything, you don’t think.
You do think Mary is a badass hunter. You just don’t know her that well.
About a week after the werewolf hunt, Mary drops in with Wally, a fellow hunter in need of assistance with a demon problem. You, Sam, Dean, and Castiel are all game. While you haven’t had to deal with demons too much in the past, you know that they’re…something of a specialty for the Winchesters. 
But of course, it quickly goes to shit.
The demon lives alone, in some shack by a river where he likes to fish. The group of you wait until he’s stepped out of the house before you go inside and case the place, looking for a good spot to spray a Devil’s Trap or two and try to trap him.
When the demon returns, he’s far stronger than any of you anticipated. The Devil’s Trap breaks with little effort (the demon’s just laughing). Then he flashes yellow eyes. You and Castiel share a look of widening shock. Mary takes a preemptive step back.
And when the kitchen door is about to close on the three of you, the angel pushes you into the next room before you can turn and fight. Sam helps you back onto your feet, though you stare at the door in horror. He and Dean try to break the door down, but it’s no use. It’s supernaturally sealed. 
You felt useless standing there. You wrack your brain for a solution, and you glance out one of the windows. Maybe there’s another way into the kitchen!
“Guys! What if we go around?” you suggest.
With that idea taking root in each of you, Sam and Dean follow you outside. Before you guys can even make it around the house, Wally flags you down. 
“We’ve got incoming!” he says. And you realize what he means. A group of black-eyed demons are bounding toward the house.
Aw, shit. You’re grateful to have Sam and Dean beside you, because the demons nearly overtake all of you. You manage to hold your own, along with the brothers. Wally isn’t so fortunate. His body hits the floor after his own blade sinks into his chest.
A pit begins to form in your stomach as you scramble toward the Impala. The plan is to catch up with Mary; thanks to Cas, she’d been able to flee the demon strong enough to snap a Devil’s Trap like a cheap trick. But she’d then taken Cas with her to safety. 
Now, Dean drives the Impala down the road at breakneck speed. 
“Are you okay?” Sam asks his mother through the phone. The car is silent enough for you to hear Mary’s reply.
“…No.”
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When you step into the barn, the first thing you have to focus on is Cas covered in his own blood. He’s been stabbed by one of the demon’s strange and powerful weapons, and he lies on an old, dingy couch. You hurry to Cas’s side and take in, your face filled with horror, though you try and fail to mask it. 
You reach out a hand, but you hesitate to touch him. Suffering is written across his face. He tries to stifle sounds of pain out of habit.
Tears are fresh in your eyes as you look down at him in dismay. You chance laying a hand on his shoulder. 
“Can you heal yourself?” you ask.
“No,” he answers eventually. “I think the demon’s spear was poisoned. I think I’m…”
No, your lower lip trembles as you shake your head.
“No,” you repeat aloud. “You just need time.”
You turn to Dean, who’s approached from behind you. But you quickly turn back to Cas, as if you’ll miss out on precious few moments. Castiel’s furrowed gaze tells you he’d rather not have you see him like this, but you don’t care. There’s no way you’re leaving his side. 
The weapon that was able to do this to him was the Lance of Michael, you all discover, when Crowley suddenly appears. He also informs you all that this is no ordinary demon. It’s Ramiel, Prince of Hell. You don’t give a shit about the specifics of how Crowley is wrapped up in this.
All you care about is if there’s a cure to Cas’s wounds. Crowley’s only words of wisdom are to leave the angel behind and run as fast as you can. 
He disappears before you can spit at him. 
“Cas, how bad is it?” Dean asks, after the King of Hell predictably makes a run for it. 
Castiel opened up his shirt collar to reveal a spiderweb of black crackling across his clammy skin, slowly breaking down his vessel. 
“Crowley’s right. You should go.”
Your hand tightens on his shoulder. “Cas—”
“No, listen to me,” he says, staring into your eyes. He continues with difficulty. “Look…thank you. Thank you. Knowing you all, it’s been the best part of my life. The things we’ve shared together, they have changed me… You’re my family, and I love you.”
His gaze had fallen on you, making your breath hitch. But his dark blue eyes travel to Sam and Dean next, and even Mary. 
“I love all of you.” The angel is the closest to tears and heartbreak that you’ve ever seen him. He struggles to hold himself together, in more ways than one. “Just, please, please don’t make my last moments be spent watching you die. Just run, and save yourselves, and I will hold Ramiel off as long as I can.”
You’re shaking your head before he even finishes the sentence. Tears pour down your cheeks in silent streams, but you still hold him down when he tries to force his body to sit up. He doesn’t have the strength to resist you encouraging him to lie back down. 
Dean voices what you’re all thinking.
No. None of you would cut and run and leave him to die, no matter what Cas says. 
“Like you said, we’re family. And we don’t leave family behind.”
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Ramiel comes for all of you, specifically for his stolen weapon. Killing the rest of you would just be an added bonus.
But while the four of you manage to pin down the demon with holy fire and a good fight, it’s Sam who manages to stab the Prince of Hell with Michael’s Lance, killing him in flash of brilliant light and rendering his body to ash. 
Of course, that’s when Crowley arrives once again, late holding his proverbial Starbucks. In this case, what would’ve been a mocha frappe is actually the Lance—and Crowley breaks it in half. It somehow reverses the curse of the blade, and therefore frees Castiel. 
He’s able to heal himself back to a full recovery. 
But also, rather predictably, Crowley disappears again before you all can recover yourselves. 
Sam and Dean help the angel back onto his feet. His clothes are still covered in blood, but his skin is clear and no longer clammy, his eyes no longer bloodshot. He’s shocked to still be alive, and you can barely contain yourself. Tears stream down your face as you surprise him with a hug.
Cas releases an oof, his body wavering just slightly before he plants his feet and wraps his arms around you. His hold tightens around your smaller frame, and he chances resting his chin on the top of your head.  
“So…you’re good?” Mary asks incredulously. 
Castiel raises his gaze to answer her. “I guess I am.”
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You’re quiet for the rest of the drive home. Mary had taken her own car for the hunt, so it leaves you once again in the backseat with Castiel.
He finds your silence perturbing, though he doesn’t have the courage to ask you what’s wrong. Despite his full recovery, you still seem upset somehow. 
Part of him wants to reach out to you…but he stops himself. He also reminds himself not to stare at you. Instead, he turns his head back out the window. You felt his gaze on your profile, but you resolve to keep yours stubbornly out of your own window. 
The only one who notices the exchange, yet again through the rearview mirror, is Dean. His lips firm into a thoughtful frown. 
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Home, sweet home, you think wryly when you enter the bunker. 
You give into the urge to beeline straight for your room without even turning your head. 
Sam and Mary follow suit, which leaves Castiel hesitating in the hall. Dean takes pity on him and claps his shoulder. 
“You okay, man?” he asks. Cas is staring after you like a man who’s lost his way.
“She’s…upset,” he replies, both confused and bothered by that fact.  
Dean’s lips twitch humorlessly. “Yeah, well, you almost died.”
“Yes,” Cas gives a wry nod. “But she seems upset at me.”
Dean has to smile for real. It’s plain as day what’s on his friend’s mind, and why. Just like it’s obvious as hell (at least to him) why you’re probably “upset.” As always, Dean takes up the role of wingman. 
“Why don’t you just go talk to her then?” he suggests.
Castiel hesitates. He’s not sure if he’d be intruding on you. The emotions of human women are foreign to him. They always have been, even when he was human, not so long ago. But he trusts Dean’s advice on these things.
So, he eventually nods. He means to follow you, but Dean stops him for a moment with a hand on his shoulder. 
“Maybe after you, uh, wash your clothes. Take a shower. Maybe shave a little,” he says, brushing his fingers over his own chin. “But uh, keep a little scruff. Some chicks dig that.”
“Shave my facial hair, but…keep my facial hair?” Cas tries to clarify. 
Dean blinks at his friend. Christ.
 “Okay, look, just clean yourself up,” he says. “You’ll be fine.”
With one last clap on the back, Dean disappears down the hall to his room. It leaves Castiel feeling somewhat unbalanced, but he treks the other way.
Normally he would restore his clothes with his powers, but he’d used up his reserves just to heal himself. There was a time when his connection to heaven was enough to do more than heal his own injuries. Now, however, both he and heaven itself are in a lesser state. 
Shaking his head, he goes down to the laundry room. He still remembers how to wash his own clothing. 
He unintentionally finds you there in the laundry room. You’ve peeled away your jacket that had been stained with his blood, and you’re tossing it into the machine. It leaves you in a thin shirt and jeans.
Castiel finds himself admiring your form; the familiar curve of your face, the shade of your hair, the outline of your bra through your shirt (which he tries not to notice), and the other curves that he has to often felt guilty for tracing with his eyes…and imagining with his hands.  
You look up when he enters the room.
He knocks himself out of his thoughts and freezes, a bit uncertain.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to disturb you,” he offers.
You just shake your head. “It’s okay.”
Your eyes roam over him then, from head to toe. It makes his face feel a bit warm.
“You want me to throw that coat in with mine?” you ask, pointing over to him. Cas examines his bloody trench coat.
“I’m not sure there’s any saving it, but we can try,” he says. He peels off the coat and allows you to throw it into the watching machine along with your bloody clothing.
“Your shirt’s white, so you should wash that separately,” you advise.
“I know,” he says, with a faint smile. “I, uh, I remember.”
You begin to regain some of your normal self, glancing at him with more warmth in your eyes. 
“Do you ever miss being human?” you ask. Cas draws closer to you. He rests a hand near yours, where you lean on the dryer. 
“There were some enjoyable aspects. Food, in particular,” he admits. “Now if I try to take a bite of a sandwich, it’s just…molecules, really.”
You wince in sympathy. “God, I don’t know how I could go through life without being able to enjoy another Snickers bar.”
He nods in agreement. He remembers chocolate well.
“But it wasn’t just the taste. It was the feeling of satiety. Sometimes, being uncomfortably full was quite satisfying,” he says. That makes you smile. 
But it soon drops when you take in the disgusting state of his shirt. Unbidden, it reminds you of every horrific thing that happened tonight. You really can’t bear it. 
“Okay, give me that,” you gesture at the shirt.
You start to unbutton it before he’s really ready for you, but he tries to get over his embarrassment by removing his tie. Meanwhile, you undo the buttons of his shirt while trying not to think too hard about what you’re really doing as you start to see flashes of his skin, from chest to sternum.
He takes a peek at your face. 
“Are you angry?” he asks. 
Your brows are furrowed, but this time more in confusion when you look up at him. 
“No. Why?” 
Cas’s brows furrow. “It feels like you’re angry…at me.”
The hasty motions of your hands calm at that. You consider him with a frown. Maybe you are a little upset at him. It’s not really fair, you know, but it’s how you feel. You blow out a sigh. 
“I just… After everything we’ve been through, everything you’ve done for us, how could you think for one second that we would leave you there alone? Alone to die?” you ask. It renders Castiel a bit stunned into silence. 
Your grip tightens on the now open edges of his shirt.
“Look, that situation was bad enough. But if you ever try to push me away like that again…”
You’re unable to finish that thought. You become waylaid by your own tears as emotion clogs your throat and threatens to choke you. 
Castiel raises a hand to touch your face, tentatively at first, then more comforting. He brushes his thumb across your cheek, catching the tears there. 
“I wasn’t trying to push you away,” he confesses. “I was trying to save you…because I couldn’t bear the thought of losing you, even as I lay dying.”
You hold onto his hand. Biting your lower lip, you find enough courage to meet his eyes. They’ve lowered to your lips, you realize, though maybe Cas doesn’t. He seems a bit surprised when you lean up towards him.
You go more slowly. Your hand falls on his warm chest. For God’s sake, do something, you tell yourself. 
You don’t know if he can pick up on your thoughts as well with your bodies touching this close, but he seems to have an internal battle of his own. You each make a decision at the same time.
It has you leaning up the rest of the way, and Castiel bending down to meet your kiss.  
He gathers you closer; one hand finds its way into your tangled hair, while the other grasps your hip and brings you flush against him. Your hands move up his chest and wind around his neck. He holds you tightly against him as his lips claim yours, over and over with increasing urgency. 
He turns you in his arms and hefts you up onto the dryer machine. There he gets even more leverage to kiss you the way he has secretly imagined, to touch you the way he’s too often craved, with his hands warming up and down your thighs.
You utter a moan of longing as you hold his face. You like the scrape of his stubble against your palms. You can almost imagine that delightful tingling against otherplaces down your body. Places you’d like him to explore when you have more privacy…
Or maybe here is privacy enough.
You alternatively tangle and tug your fingers through his hair. And it’s his turn to moan when you take his lower lip between your teeth, scraping just hard enough to be both painful and delightful.
He squeezes your thighs in retaliation. It prompts you to wrap your legs around his waist, bringing him even closer. Your dirty boots cross behind his back.
But soon, his touch gentles, more tender than demanding as he slows the kiss. His lips veer from yours and burn a path across your jawline, down the smooth column of your neck.
It allows you to catch your breath, but the feeling of his gentle lips and rough cheek just turns you on even more. You card your fingers through his hair and close your eyes. 
“Cas,” you breathe in content. 
He hesitates, with his lips on your neck. “Yes?”
You blink for a moment, but then you have to giggle. You twine your arms around his neck and hold him close. 
“Nothing,” you reply. Your smile says it all though. Cas sees it when he pulls away a bit, turning his gaze back to you. He caresses your cheek with the back of his hand. 
“I didn’t think feelings such as this…desires like this, would affect me after I became an angel again.”
Your smile brightens, even as you blush. “Does that make me special?”
“Yes,” he replies, with a soft smile. “But for many more, and far better reasons than that.”
Your eyes begin to sting with unshed tears. You bite the edge of your lower lip, but Cas’s thumb swiping across encourages you to release it.
“When you said that you loved me,” you say, a little shakily, “did you just mean…in the family sense?”
Castiel meets your eyes, and there he finds his courage. 
“Yes,” he says. “And no.”
With another one of those smiles he’s come to love, you bring him back in for a kiss. All too soon, it becomes hungrier, rougher, born of passion and secret desires finally spilling free. 
“Wait,” you pant against his lips, taking his hands in yours. “Come with me.”
Anywhere, his heart says.
But after you jump down from the dryer, you tug him by the hand out of the laundry room. After a quick scan of the hallway, you give him a playful little smile and lead him down to your room.
Castiel can’t help but smile in return. He follows your lead in more ways than one when the door to your bedroom shuts behind you both.
You help him shrug off his tattered shirt, and he helps you out of yours next, followed swiftly by the belt buckle on his slacks. 
In that moment, and many moments after, you’re grateful for door locks. You just hope the Winchesters aren’t dumb enough to interrupt what you have planned next for your angel…
Because it might just take all night.
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AN: I haven't written for Castiel in a long time, but I had fun with this. 🥰 I hope you all enjoy it! Let me know what you think. 😘
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thegreatstoryteller · 7 months ago
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The Great Shift: Turning 30
The Great shift was a huge time in many people’s lives. Especially those with birthdays who fell around the time of the great shift. Some turning 18, others turning 80! But still others had their hearts set on a time in their life that was quite pivotal. However, because of the shift some may have to wait a little longer to reach that milestone, while others have jumped leaps and bounds beyond it!
Harvey Singh (30 years old)
Fuuuck my head… and my clothes apparently. Damn. This is not what I imagined turning 30 would be like! 
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Before the world went insane, I was so close! The damn great shift just had to happen right before my birthday. I was working at this law firm, a pretty shady place at first. Lots of scummy people taking advantage of others, but my boss was trying to turn it around! We kicked out those idiots who were causing trouble, got them arrested! I was gonna get promoted and help lead the charge for helping others… but not anymore.
The great shift landed me inside of Skyler Marlo! 18 year old quarterback for the local university. And right after a big party too. I couldn’t find a stitch of clothes to fit my new larger body. I was really lucky this frat house I woke up in had a towel nearby. But that was just the beginning of my nightmare. 
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You see that smile of distress? Yeah that’s me. Instead of writing briefs and taking on clients in need, I’m here on the football field. Apparently after the upheaval the shift caused people are having trouble verifying identities and gaining access to their property/funds. That’s totally something I could be helping with! Instead I'm stuck back in the life of a teenager again. I wasn't a big fan of 18 last time I was in college.
The only thing that could get me after the shift was taking on this guy’s college scholarship. It gives me a place to stay and access to their college library, but I had to join the college football team. Some organizations like college athletics don’t seem to care who is shifted or not! As long as they got the players they need to draw in a crowd, they seemed perfectly content letting anyone play. Though who can blame them. If they saw me before I doubt they’d want some angry short king running their drills. No… now I’m not the 5’0 Indian guy who got overlooked in school. I look the picture of boy next door prom king that rules the college. 6’2, 195lbs of lean muscle, and size 15 feet. That last one took awhile to get used to! Finding cleats that size was the hardest part of this change. 
So here I am, sweating it out day after day to maintain my scholarship, while I wait for the day I’m recertified with my state’s bar! Once I’m a lawyer again I swear I’ll help out others like me forced to cling on to new lives while the system sorts things out. It sucks having to practice every day and do all these drills and grunt work! The college even has me posing for their promotional material to draw in bigger crowds at the game! Who would want this kind of life?!
Then again… it’s already been a few months… I may as well get used to college life… I was a nerdy brown kid my last run in college, mostly studying and doing what my parents wanted… now at least I can get a look at how the athletes lived… That frat did ask me if I wanted to join… I guess it couldn’t hurt to have a little fun while I wait to get my life back.
After all, I do get pretty excited after an intense practice, and judging by some of the looks from my teammates, I may not be the only one eager to get to know my new body better. 
Phil Inver (30 years old)
People need to learn how to relax. I don’t know what the big deal is. So a bunch of people swapped bodies. What’s there to worry about? See me? I don’t have a care in the world. When I was turning 30 doctors told me I was overweight and at risk of diabetes, my work would always be on me for not applying myself, and my girlfriend said I was always too lazy in our relationship! 
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But my mindset since the shift hasn’t changed! It landed me in this nice smooth and lean body! I’m glad that this guy kept in such good shape. Having actual abs is insane! Same for these toned arms! I’m not sure if he’s the shaving kinda guy or if he’s naturally smooth, but it sure as hell beats taking care of an unruly beard and body hair!
Turns out now that I look like this people are a bit more receptive to my ideals! Doctors say my heart is as healthy as a horse! Says my stress free lifestyle is a large part of that! My work? They now say my chill attitude makes things a lot more zen around the office. Guess they don’t care I don’t get too much done whenever I flash them a smile. And my girlfriend… or my boyfriend as he goes by now, certainly thinks I’m taking an active role in the bedroom. Who knew that my new stud of a boyfriend had a thing for Asian guys!?
So what am I gonna do now? Listen to music, chill as my boyfriend showers, and wait out the day as normal. Sure I’m turning 30, but it’s just another day in paradise for me! Oh what’s that? This body is only 21? Even better! I’ve got plenty of time to relax before I turn 30.
Devon Lin (30 years old)
So I was a bit nervous about turning 30. I feel like I haven’t really done all the things I wanted… and all my friends were joking saying it’s all downhill after that. I wasn’t dealing the best with the stress… Well like it or not the shift had me face that hurdle a few year further than I expected.
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And I gotta say. It’s not as bad as I thought it was gonna be. Sure I’m a bit older, but hell  I look a hell of a lot more manly! Could it be that the shift landed me in a handsome 37 year old with a built body, tan skin,  and perfect beard? Maybe… but hey. Age is just a mindset… but these muscles sure aren’t! Boom!
You like that? So do the guys at the bar! They keep insisting I don’t shave my chest or pit hair too. I think I could pull off that look. That being said, I think anything looks good on a 6’5 stud like me. Tall, dark, and handsome all the way!
Before I would jump around from job to job. Bartender, janitor, waiter, and housekeeper, but lately I’ve found my job as a bouncer at the local bar a lot more rewarding. You’d be surprised how many fights stop once I take my shirt off and start playing pool with the patrons. I’ve won nearly every game of billiards I’ve played! Though I have the sneaking suspicion it may be due to the guys staring more at me than the balls.
Guess that’s one of the benefits to working at a chill gay bar! You know, I was always a bit insecure about my body and experimenting sexually. Being a shorter gay man with a chip on his shoulder would do that to you. Now… well let’s just say now I feel like I’ve got a lot more confidence! I may have missed my 30th birthday, but I think I know how I’m gonna spend my 38th!
Marcus Garcia (30 years old)
They say when you get older you begin to value things differently. Honestly I didn’t know what to expect when I turned 30. Was I supposed to be wiser all of a sudden? Have a plan for things? In truth plenty of people younger than me had their life together compared to me. Partners. Kids. A stable job. A house.
In short. I thought I had more time. But we don’t always get to choose how fast life comes at us. I mean look at me. Didn’t expect the shift to make me 55.
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Losing 25 years of my life was definitely not the easiest. The great shift nearly tears the world apart and I’m running for my life looking like retirement is right around the corner. That first day was definitely a wake up call that I did not have the same stamina that I used to. In that opening week of the shift I was pretty much running on adrenaline and coffee wherever I could get it. I took lots of naps just to stay sane. 
As the days went on and society slowly readjusted to some version of normal, I began to actually have time to look at my body. I mean I was a pretty skinny guy before, my sister would always say I needed to workout more. But I guess all it took was 25 years of my life to finally get in shape. 
Not only that, but I’m admiring the body hair. This guy was a pretty hairy dude. The salt and pepper stubble had guys starting me daddy at the gay bars, while the chest hair was still dark like my eyebrows and made my impressive physique pop. 
My feet were pretty big too. Size 14! Twice as big as my old feet, but just as hard to find shoes my size. 
Needless to say there were highs and lows to my new life. Was I happy that i was 6’6 now? Sure! Loved being tall and nearly bonking my head on doorframes. Was I upset lots of my joints were sore and that I could only take my coffee black to avoid dairy and sugar? No… that sucked. I liked my sweet drinks and I missed not waking up in pain.
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Omar LeRon was a guy that lived along my street. He was a single dad raising his 5 year old, all at the age of 45.
I later learned he had a few wild days in his early 40s that lead to Omar Jr. And now in his mid 20s again he’s glad he could be more present for his son! Even if his son is the same age as him now.
He told me all of this one day when we both left our house for a jog. He found that doing some running in his new body helped him vent some much needed energy from his body, while I needed to do something physical if I was to have any hope of maintaining healthy workout routines for mine! 
Needles to say he offered some words of wisdom growing up and it really helped put some things in perspective. Meanwhile, I gave him some tips about helping his son. Turns out all those years working at my aunt’s day care counted for something, even for post shifted kids!
Our conversations started as friendly advice and then grew into more! Talks became dates. Dates became moving in. Moving in became an engagement! Now a few years after the wedding I guess you truly can call me a daddy now. Jr. sure does. He’s doing great in school and is looking forward to next week when my sister is gonna watch him for the summer.
My husband and I are gonna take our first real vacation since the great shift! We’re looking forward to it! We’ll be celebrating Omar’s 30th birthday in his new body now! He keeps making jokes saying, “Well I’ve done it before. Nothing to it the second time around.” And “Well here I thought your 30th birthday was extreme. I doubt I could top that”
He also never stops teasing me about how he loves being married to an older man and that I’m not as young as I used to be. We know it’s all in good fun. I mean, I can still keep up with him in the bedroom, where it counts… as long as he gives me a few minutes to recover after. Young guys like him are insatiable. I’ll try to power through though. After all, you only turn “30” once.
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