#there’s hot trans people on there tho. maybe it will be worth it

[callixton]

mortifying ordeal of. everything abt grindr tbh. at least if i post abt wanting gay sex on here i know u guys r my friends and will love me anyway…..

[professorspork]

⭐️the triple meet cutes pls >:)

well, here is where the downside of the way I outline -- i.e. putting it directly into the document and then just replacing it with the prose itself as I go -- shows its head, because I'm not sure I can stitch the timeline on this together as perfectly as I'd like. luckily I can for some of it because I narrate the vast majority of my life events to @alexkablob thanks for being my searchable diary pal

lol gonna cut this too bc I AM VERBOSE

the true meet cute was always going to happen at a bar. "My friends are being jerks right now, can I sit with you?" is a line that was actually used on me (collectively, addressed to my friend group) at a bar, and it remains one of the BEST lines I've ever heard (love that poor little meow meow rizz), and it was always going to belong to Yang. I knew they'd begin there, and they'd end at "So you don't date. Do you make friends? I've been told I give great friend."

the question then became: how the fuck was I going to get Blake to go to a bar when I knew she's sober and a total hermit?

I considered her going to see a band she likes play, but didn't love that because it would put Yang in the rude position of interrupting something important that she was there to enjoy. I considered it being an open mic night, maybe something where they had an overlapping friend in common and didn't know it, but again-- that directs the scene, and suddenly it's about their mutual buddy rather than them and their chemistry. I considered several different settings (coffee shop? the park?) instead of a bar, to try and make it read smoother, but bar just Felt Right. as someone who's gone to bars to watch baseball when I didn't have access to cable, that cropped up as an idea, and then it was just a question of coming up with a sporting event Blake would possibly have interest in, and ice skating seemed feasible enough. back when I lived in the East Village, I had a corner bar I'd go to down the block from my place that had amazing fried pickles and I'd often do my homework there before it got busy, so that's where that came from.

the "last ferry out to Menagerie" paragraph, in which Blake recontextualizes and basks in her attraction to Yang after learning she's trans, is hands down the single excerpt I worked hardest on. the first step, as I was drafting it early last august, was coming up with the right metaphor in the first place. I wanted something which would help me avoid it reading like a "well you can always tell with those transes" cringefest

me: so now the thing i'm chewing on is-- is what we talked about before, which is figuring out how to write about blake being attracted to the parts of yang's appearance that are sort of self-evidently trans without it accidentally becoming a weird bioessentialist screed me: the best metaphor i've come up with so far is glasses, like-- like putting on your glasses after cleaning them when they've been smudgy for a week, and you suddenly have this wonderful appreciation for crisp little beautiful details me: but blake does not wear glasses and i'm not enough of a hack to give her glasses JUST FOR THIS (i did consider it) so now i'm trying to think of other ways to talk about that, like-- moment of dawning clarity

(sorry I did not give blake glasses. similarly, this past march while writing the big sex scene in chapter 9 I was like "well yes i'm 123k into this but what if I went through and edited everything to give Blake a nose ring wouldn't that be hot" and alexis talked me out of it so blame her.)

once I came up with the "last ferry" concept ("me, rollerblading down Main Street, AO3: HAVE YOU MARVELED AT THE CELESTIAL BEAUTY OF TRANS PEOPLE TODAY") I worked on those two sentences for over an hour. i am particular about my language and cadence always, but even for me this is uh absurdly excessive. WORTH IT THO, because it's the most important passage in the whole fic. i deleted and rephrased it probably a hundred times, trying to get the right flow, the right lyricism, and crucially not say "stars" 8 different times.

Blake's deep dark secret being that she's a country fan has been baked into this fic's essence from the very beginning; the title, "something wild and unruly," is from a Dixie Chicks song for this reason. IT WILL CONTINUE TO BE RELEVANT, and I had to get it in early.

as I've told several people, the "deck building game" joke also comes directly from my life. Helen and I went to New Jersey last June to do wedding errands -- tastings, fittings, engagement photo shoot -- and while we were there we visited a very cute bar in my hometown as a potential night-before-wedding hangout space. she casually mentioned that her sibling was texting her about... oh gosh, I can't remember the name of it, but I went "what's that?" and she said "a deck-building game" and because I was home, and thus around my mother and how she has HGTV on all the time, instead of oh, like Dominion I went "like a porch?" and then she laughed and laughed and I said "well that's definitely going in the fic."

luckily my wife is used to that, because I stole from our lives a great deal. she first started having car battery trouble in January of 2023, and then we opened up the hood and found scary corrosion and my dad talked me through how to clean that out the way Neptune does. from then on it was sort of floating in the back of my mind that this could be something I used in the story-- Blake's car is 100% based on Helen's car, which she bought at a police auction and clearly had a Rough Backstory-- but it was three weeks later that we finally got tired of jumping it all the time and called AAA. the guy really DID come like 2 minutes after I put the request in on the app, so shockingly Yang's fast turnaround time is actually based on life. and about ten minutes after that happened I declared:

me: no real-life anecdote is ever wasted and this is DEFINITELY happening to blake after she and yang have their meet-cute and it's yang who shows up and has to be like WELL HOW ABOUT THAT SERENDIPITY :D

about three months later I then had my OWN battery troubles, and that's when I went out of my way to ask the tech who came about a million questions about what the multimeter read and how cold crank amp tests worked. I pretty much wrote our conversation verbatim into a note on my phone, which became what Yang said. (the fellow who came then also had a very sharp and snazzy work shirt, and that's when I thought about how cute the little Yang on her breast pocket would be)

only it would be--

Yang

:) okay anyway

I don't know what it is about competent service professionals that make me go "you're Yang Xiao Long actually" but I've done it twice now, with my wedding DJ and with the AAA people

I went back and forth on whether the library meet-cute would come before or after the car scene, but in its earliest incarnation the idea was just that Yang would come up to the circ desk to check something out and oops Blake's standing there. at one point I even considered having Yang ask her out to lunch. once I realized it behooved me to have Yang and Pyrrha already be friends, so Pyrrha could vouch for her, I knew it had to come at the end to tie everything in a bow.

[dontlookatmehereplease]

I should have figured it too good to last for me. I can't make her feel guilty. It was just helping out I don't need to make her feel bad about not being able to help now. I didn't deserve that money anyways. Why did I have to be dumb and think I was gunna get more. I shouldn't have spent it last night I should have saved it. I'll never be able to buy those headphones. I was being so selfish I'm so dumb. Fucking hell

I need to get out of bed but I'm too depressed to try. I don't have the right to be depressed over this. Fucking he'll I'm an idiot aren't i

Who am I even asking anymore of course I am I'm talking to nobody and answering myself and making myself feel worse because that's more manageable than trying to figure out why I feel the way I feel because emotions are fucking stupid and impossible to understand. This is why I shouldn't date, who would actually be willing to suffer through my self sabotaging behaviors. That's right no one. I already learnt that the hard way with a cpl people I've talked with

I wish I never found out about being autistic, then my suffering would feel justified I'm a way. I mean I would still think I was being stupid for not being able to fucking function like everyone else but I would still be in a way that justified it even if I didn't know it was justified. Then maybe dating wouldn't be so hard either. Who am I kidding tho I'd still have shit luck trying to find someone willing to date me im not good looking even minimally, I can be so delusional about it sometimes. People only find me hot when they're drunk. No one does sober. I gotta stop trying and should just save myself the time and effort. I can suffer eternally and just accept that the only form of romance I'll ever have in my life is by watching movies and reading about it in stories like it's a fantasy trope. One everyone else larps everyday with eachother. Then I'll feel safer about falling into the delusion that my obsession with fictional characters isn't as damaging as it truly is. I know it's bad for me but I guess it's just my new form of s[h] for myself since I know no one actually finds me attractive and they only like my body in the sense of it being a woman's body and not a trans one and people think that could be enough to try but then I open my big mouth and they quickly realize that it's not worth getting their dick wet for having to suffer through my talking out loud. I should have just let that woman talk however she wanted to me on this tumblr because then at least I knew she was interested in me. Even if it was just my body still. She was pretty and wanted to talk to me like I meant something. Me and my stupid boundaries ruined it all like usual. I know this way of thinking isn't good but if I don't write it then it will stay in my head forever and fester until it's all consuming. Hopefully this way it will feel like I've set it down outside of my skull somewhere and slowly I'll start to forget I even felt this way to begin with.

[funky-furby]

rough furby fandom timeline

reminiscencing abt old furblr made me wanna revisit some of the changes we’ve seen over time! to give new people an idea of it, and also to spark discussion with older members, i joined in 2017 and i havent been as active as of 2019 so i cant speak of prior or after, but heres my thoughts

2017

fandom is still small, but growing

focus is on them as toys

lots of posts are guides on names of colors, or how to push start

2005s are not very popular, i saw someone struggle to sell 2 working ones just because their beaks were damaged

besides the pink ones, people really liked those

i also lost a bid war on an orange 2005 that ended up going for 50 bucks, do you  understand the regret i feel

lots of furbys are cheap, furbys in general are cheap, besides the occasional person thinking their nib snowball is worth 300

rise of furbology (later furbae)

popular for owning a lot of furbys, and owning a very very roughed up frog furby called swampy

theres discourse abt drawing furbys with 4 feet

small nature of fandom means that discourse usually involves people everyone knows directly (furbyconfessions accidentally contributes to drama but some spin off accounts purposefully try and start it, furby discourse blogs are a thing)

small nature also means that a lot of people remember each others furbys by name

each furby usually has a personality attached to it too, describing things that furby tends  to do more than others, or what its physical differences mean (like being mute)

furby brotherhood is the only furby discord server and it gains notoriety due to the lack of moderation but in my experience it was a really fun wild ride

customization is fairly limited to maybe drawing on freckles, accessories, eyechips (people were poking them out with needles), to my knowledge tracer was the first popular furby to have further customizing

furby blogs humour is very silly, lots of piss and vore jokes

customized furbys from ebay sellers are pretty widely disliked, usually because theyre the clay ones, or because theres a lady trying to pass off her customs as rare releases that never happened

people go out of their way to help each other  find listings for their dreamies

2018

purity culture? in furblr? since a lot of people use furbys to cope (many many posts of people bringing them out in public, describing what  they and their furbys did), theres a pressure for furby blogs to be happy safe places, safefurby tag to avoid swearing and other stuff is started?, and also to avoid hatred in the main tag

theres like, a 70% chance of anyone u interact with in the fandom being a 15 year old trans guy on the autism spectrum, similarities make it really easy to make friends

considering special interests also usually mean wanting to know as much as possible, there is a WELL of information still

rise in popularity also means a lot more information is found abt furbys, like prototypes, a new factory and more obscure merchandise

since a lot of people empathize with  furbys, damaged or not completely working furbys start to go for higher prices than previously as people empathize with them

that one furby that was found in the desert (bumbleweed) gets REALLY popular

rise in customizing coincides with more stylization in how people draw furbys

whenever someone comes up with a new idea u’d see a lot of it in the next week

like stuffing a furby to make them fat, that one took OFF

painting fur and also furby patterns to sew own skins creates a strange demand for  just the furbys faceplate

furbys start to get strange names, like hot  dog water

fall of furbae as shes revealed as a scammer among other reasons

crap ton of new furby discords are started, for specific topics, or just to avoid brotherhood despite them having a completely new mod team (im a little biased)

theres a still a large overlap in furblr with animatronic and other toy robot blogs

an age of really creative stuff tho, content was constantly evolving

oddbodies are a controversial addition to customizing, longfurby wasnt the first, but i do remember a lot of people taking the faces off of plushes and adding a furby face instead

before they were called oddbodies some people were really uncomfortable with them, but people also didnt like their furby friends being tagged bodyhorror, so oddbody was a good compromise

people were calling dibs on listings before, but its more widespread here, even though you cant call dibs on an open listing

furby prices go through the roof oh my god

kid cuisines especially, i saw more than one person pay 600

2005s go up in price too

oddbodies also caused rise in price on furby buddies

2019

mainstream success?

customization and oddbodies seems to the fandoms focus?

customization starts to overtake previous guides to the point where i see newbies struggle to find information

Plushification

First plush ones have clay eyes, later ones add in the eyes of the original furbys

Some controversy over taking apart furbys

popularity from within  and outside of the community further effects prices

since 2012s are both really common, and not popular their prices seem pretty unaffected (besides rainbow crystals)

at this point i think people are taking their furbys out with them less, and i see less people make stories abt what they and their furbys did that day

customization trends were really really cool to watch happen, but since my reasons for being in furblr was the community nature of it, i have a lot less information  for 2019 as i was less active in the fandom

and for 2020, i have nothing! so essentially this is me asking, what was 2019 and 2020 furblr for u like? did i remember any older stuff wrong? whats some stuff u wouldve included or have questions about?

[thebraingremlinsaremad]

Daily Blog #15: August 22, 2021

Dollar Tree is honestly pretty fucking awesome 👌👌👌

I set my alarm for like 6:25 this morning, but it took 6 minutes for the "Horsin' Around" theme song instrumental to wake me up. I was pretty tired lol. I just dismissed it and went back to sleep.

I only went back to sleep because I knew I had another alarm set for 7:00. That got me up.

I should mention that this was still in the RV over an hour away from the house.

After I got up, I went to go get a shower, and did so successfully.

Unfortunately, I had forgotten my brush this time and had to do it afterwards after my hair had a bit of time to dry, which did make it a little more difficult lol.

I got dressed and grabbed my stuff, putting it into my car.

I made it a point to see and say "see you later" to my grandparents before I left for the flea market.

My dad insisted that I stayed to say goodbye to my mom, so I left.

I did NOT have cell service up there, as was mentioned in my previous 2 blogs of which I could only post today, so finding my way was a tiny bit difficult until I got some service to ask Google to take me to "...".

It worked and I got there.

On my drive, I listened to 1 by Simple Kid, a CD I had previously purchased at a Dollar Tree location.

I got a call from the guy at the flea market saying that I had some people there waiting for me. He asked how far away I was, to which I said "about 10 minutes." Ironically, that call made me miss my exit, as Google couldn't talk during the call, and added about 3 minutes to my arrival time lmao.

I did sell the Xbox that he said someone was interested in. I got $40 for it. I spent 27¢ on it. Pretty good return if you ask me.

I couldn't sell it with anything other than a power cord because the controller and AV cables I had been using to play it there were for my personal console. I'm just glad I can actually hook my Xbox up and stop having to drag them to the flea market along with a small library of games.

Not too long after I sold the Xbox, someone came in and asked if I wanted to see some electronics he had in his car. I went out with him. It was a pair of 3ft speakers and a Pioneer audio system with dual cassette decks (although neither of them works) and a 25 Disc CD-changer, as well as the standard AM/FM tuner. Additionally, there was a Fisher amplifier and AM/FM tuner as well as a Fisher Direct Drive turntable. He said he wanted $60 for em, but before that he casually, and probably accidentally, dropped that he was just gonna take em to the thrift store.

Big mistake.

I got em for $35 lmao. THERE GOES MOST OF MY PROFIT.

Oh well.

I tested everything. As I mentioned, the cassette decks don't work, but everything else does apart from the turntable needing a new stylus.

I posted some new photos of the shop to Facebook, and someone soon DMed me about a stereo system.

I priced everything, and it turns out I have about $300 worth of equipment from that deal, the Fisher amp and tuner being worth about $150.

The buyer will hopefully show up next weekend, for he wants to buy the Fisher stuff ($185 with the turntable), the 3ft speakers, an 8-track deck, and a Kenwood deck we've had for a week or two.

The speakers are listed for $50 (and are worth around $100-150), the Kenwood Deck for $50 as well, and the 8-track for $35. That makes it about $320 in equipment. Since he's buying so much, I'll knock it down to $270 and essentially give him the speakers or cassette deck for free lol.

Apart from that stuff, not much happened at the flea market. I sold some records, cassettes, CDs and I think 2 DVDs. One person bought a VHS tape? That money was the other guy's though. Oh well xD.

I can't say that I didn't miss my wonderful partner while on the trip. I actually brought along the stuffed animal they gave me (who's name is Greg) and snuggled with him both nights.

I was very happy to hear from them UwU.

They let me rant and I let them rant.

I honestly give them too much responsibility over me xD. I'm like, "Okay, I'm gonna do this. HOLD ME TO IT."

I know I can't hold myself to anything I personally say (this blog being the only exception apparently), but I listen to them pretty well I think 🤔. If they tell me, "No, you don't need that VCR," so long as it's not some weird specialty thing, like a worldwide VCR 🥵, I'll be like "Yeah, you rite bro."

I love you man xD. You control my craziness pretty well. I'm so thankful for you UwU.

#relationshipgoals

So part way through the flea market day, I went over to Dollar Tree to buy some snack, but ended up looking through the CDs to see if there was anything good. I took photos of about 18 CDs and flipped through them online for the remainder of the flea market day.

I deleted the photos of the ones I didn't want and kept those that I liked. Surprisingly, I ended up buying 13 CDs there, but not before dropping them on the floor like the dumbass I am.

Also, sorry for all the nerd shit I spilled on your lap earlier. No one cares about amps and tuners xD.

I'M LISTENING TO ONE OF THE DOLLAR TREE CDS RIGHT NOW THO.

I already transferred over to my online library on iBroadcast and put the disc into my CD changer, which is now holding 164 CDs.

Its max capacity is 300 discs 🥵

WHY AM I NERD

Oh well

I like being a nerd gurl

Also maybe a technosexual 👀

I get really excited over some electronics. Like. REALLY excited.

Some editing VCRs are like "Holy shit that is SEXY. Look at those goddamn VU meters 🥵. And hhhh there are like 7 inputs on this thing and individual controls for left and right audio gain, not to mention Hi-Fi S-VHS recording. Hhhhhhhhhhh please gimme 😭. Why are you so expensive?"

I uh, mean, uh, *cough* look, pretty lights.

Oh yeah, I was gonna say the album I was listening to xD. MAN I GOT SIDETRACKED.

It's 37 Everywhere by Punchline. Def give it a listen; it's pretty heccin good.

Another notable album I picked up was Page One by Steven Page. I very much like the first track, "A New Shore." It's quite catchy and he has a great voice imo.

Also at dollar tree, I bought a regular bag of Fieras and 2 bags of Fieras Sticks, which were marked down to 75¢/bag because they're expiring soon.

I honestly like the generic Dollar Tree version of Takis more than actual Takis. They're a lot more flavorful when it comes to the lime, but also hotter at the same time.

Don't get the hot nacho ones tho. Hot nacho? More like hot pile of shit.

HAH

Goteem.

They're not that good xD.

THE REGULAR ONES ARE FIRE THO

"How do you do fellow kids?"

I got home and started working on putting the CDs onto my computer, and then onto iBroadcast, but not without first adding The Music Man to my digital library, something I had neglected for a month or two. The CD had just been sitting there lol.

I also switched my digital file for "The Black Parade" to that of the uncensored CD, which I had purchased before I event started working over 2 months ago.

MAN I'M LAZY

I eventually get around to shit tho lol. I guess it's just a matter of priority.

What usually takes priority is digging through everything to find something that I forgot about but then remembered, making a mess in the process that I would then have to clean up, at least partially.

I think the album just ended. I've been writing for a while xD. I'ma start "I Made You Something" by The Island of the Misfit Toys.

I'll tell you where that album came from in a minute.

In the meantime, where was I?

I kinda lost my train of thought despite reading up to see where I was. Oh well. On I go.

I ate dinner and kept working on those CDs, eventually putting my clothes from the week into the washer.

I FORGOT TO PUT MY SHAPING UNDERWEAR IN. FUCKING HELL MAN.

I wanted to wash em for this week 😭

No tight pants for Leonna I guess qwq.

Meanwhile, the box of my CD album cases is overflowing. I need another box.

I keep all of the album artworks in a big CD folder. That's almost full.

I wanna fill my entire CD changer. That's one of my big goals in life. Idk why, but I just wanna legitimately fill the entire thing.

My clothes are in the dryer now. I don't think I have the time (or energy) to fold them tonight. I'll leave that for tomorrow morning before work.

And God. Fucking. Damnit. I start school again on Wednesday. NOT looking forward to that, and neither are my 2 coworkers. We already have low enough staff, but only the two of them working is gonna be a pain in the ass.

I'll still work Saturdays.

I need to contact my guidance counselor to get out of the gym class I signed up for. I scheduled this shit before I found out I was trans, and I don't wanna deal with the fucking locker room situation 🙄 I have far more important matters.

Okay so anyway, the album I'm listening to came from a cassette. I bought this cassette a few months ago at the flea market along with a few others. The reason I bought them? They were all newer cassette releases from the 2010's, and they're all actually pretty good music from very indie bands.

Currently getting mad at iBroadcast's compression algorithm. It's unnaturally fucking anything over -10db up. Oh well, there's not really anything I can do about it.

I have like 13GB of music on my phone btw. That's about 3.5k songs on 268 albums.

I'm kind of an audiophile, but I'm too cheap to pay for a lossless service. Oh well.

They do actually have a lossless service on iBroadcast, but once again, too cheap.

Someone just sent me a friend request who legitimately posted that BLM and the democratic party are hate groups.

BLOCK.

Goodbye ho.

I don't get that. They call the democratic party a hate group when they hate people like me, and I, being more of a democrat although not fully because the 2-party system is fucked, think nothing more of them than they're very wrong about certain things, especially, as shown, that black people, as well as asian, Indian, native, and people of all ethnicities and backgrounds, are not equal to white people.

Yeh.

Totally.

You go buddy.

Anyway, yeah, I can, and do, convert music and video from analog formats to digital files in order for me to archive and listen to whenever and wherever I please. I've actually made a bit of a business out of it, but I don't get too much work from it. At least I'm not overloading myself xD.

I honestly have so much more to say, but I should probably go to sleep soon.

A few final shoutouts to the following people and companies:

-Dollar Tree

-Steven Page

-Broken World Media

-The Island of Misfit Toys

-Simple Kid

-Punchline

-My incredible partner QwQ I love you so much. Thanks for being the best all the time. I hope I can give you the best life ever.

Anyway I suppose this is goodnight. Lmk if you want a full list of the CDs I bought today! I'll link that song by Steven Page here.

And here's a good song from Simple Kid

I really like music lol. Enjoy these pieces.

Anyway, goodnight lol.

Lots of love,

-Leonna.

[tentaclewrapsupreme]

Okay... I literally cannot stop thinking about vampire B3nrey and werewolf G0rdon. I’m too busy to actually write this even tho I REALLY want to so I’ll just tell y’all my ideas here. NS4W of course because I am a degenerate. I will be using a lot of numbers to replace letters so it does not get flagged or show up in tags.

G0rdon lives in the middle of the woods because he’s a werewolf dogboy (tails and ears and wolf-ish behavior. The whole shebang). Maybe it was a work accident (D4rnold?? He’s the perfect scapegoat for this kind of thing) but to not interfere with his coworkers or the outside world he’s moved to this forest by G-M4n. Big G makes sure he gets food and like fiber optic cables for internet (how much did that cost? Is it really worth these few guys? [maybe T0mmy played a hand in this?]) and T0mmy makes food and supplies deliveries. Oh yeah things I should mention: There’s a path that both people and vehicles can travel down, the Boomers live a bit further down and they’re both, like, clearly not human either in ability or appearance, the forest is magical and houses Many unknown creatures (like b3nrey) but G0rdon doesn’t know this, and G0rdon is trans and has an epic cvnt and t-d!ck. This matters trust me.

So G0rdon has been having really weird and intense ovulation since he turned into a werewolf and it gets more intense each time. Like ya know… a heat but my version of it. Humans can cramp and become extremely horny when ovulating (I’ve done some research) so this is just that but more intense and can be stopped by some Good D!cking. But another thing! For ~magic reasons~ G0rdon smells not bad but strongly, especially to other magical beings. So basically he’s driving some forest inhabitants crazy and B3nrey takes it upon himself to “deal” with it >=3c.

So G0rdon is furiously m4sterbating and I mean like jackhammering a D1ldo into himself and he’s getting frustrated because he’s been cvmming but it’s not really doing it for him. So B3nrey rings the doorbell once. Normally that’d Freak G0rdon The Fuck Out but he just assumes it the boomers and thinks “eh, they’ll go away. I’m busy rn”. However, the rings don’t stop coming (kinda like G0rdon lmao) and G0rdon pulls the toy out of himself, pulls his pants up, marches to the door (and he’s PISSED. You’ve ever been interrupted by a stranger? yeah) rips open the door, yells “WHAT!” and before B3nrey can really even say anything other than “You-” he slams the door closed again because he is that mad. 

The doorbell ringing continues because B3nrey is, of course, unphased and G0rdon opens the door again like “WHAT the FUCK do you WANT?!” and B3nrey just says “You smell” and at this point G0rdon is losing his god damn mind so he just starts laughing his ass off and says “what?” in the middle of crying laughing and then continues “Is that all you had to say to me?” and before he can get angry again B3nrey says “Have you been h0rny? You’re not allowed to be h0rny here,”. Of course what he MEANS is that G0rdon is causing a problem by being so smelly and needs someone to “help” him, but we all know that is not how B3nrey communicates things. So G0rdon is of course like ‘what the fuck does that mean’ and says “What do you mean I’m not allowed to be h0rny here? It’s not like I control it!” and before he can continue B3nrey asks “I think you need help with that. Let me in”

Now normally that would be super ominous considering 1) phrasing 2) this is a guy G0rdon doesn’t even know the name of and 3) G0rdon KNOWS there’s something fucked about this forest and everyone in it but all G0rdon is thinking about is 1) how hard is dick gets at the thought of “help” and 2) how this guy is gonna be annoying and keep ringing his doorbell if he doesn’t let him in (hopefully to “ring G0rdon’s doorbell”. Get it? Get it? I’ll see myself out). So G0rdon, after thinking for no more than 2 seconds, says “fuck it, c’mon in” and B3nrey does, in fact follow him in and stares him down in basically the kitche/living room area in the start of his house.

Now G0rdon immediately notices 2 things. 1) this guy has about half a foot of height on him and 2) is decidedly not human. G0rdon’s tail immediately goes between his legs, his ears droop, his eyes widen, and he runs into his bedroom and locks the door. G0rdon is terrified and listens intently to B3nrey’s footsteps as he approaches the door. B3nrey then phases through the door and G0rdon scream’s “JESUS FUCKING CHRIST” and tries to reach for the nearest weapon (baseball bat on the other side of the room).

B3nrey is unimpressed and does his best G0rdon impression by saying “myah myah myah look at me I’m running away from house guests. I’m just trying to help you man,” and G0rdon is already off the bed grabbing a bat yelling “HELP ME DO WHAT!” and B3nrey says “Make you less smelly. You smell good and it’s really rude to everyone else. Everyone is just trying to work and you come here and mess it all up” B3nrey is overexaggerating here but some people DO actually smell G0rdon and it is actually annoying to them. B3nrey is the only one doing anything about it because he’s unhinged enough to not care about social convention and just ask G0rdon to fuck. G0rdon, of course, has no idea what B3nrey is fucking talking about and asks “What? You’re the only one here. And what do you mean I smell ‘good’?”. 

With some convincing B3nrey manages to convince G0rdon to put the bat down and get on the bed to “help” him. B3nrey starts sniffing his neck and being handsy. G0rdon, liking where this is going, gives less of a shit than he probably should and just enjoys the treatment. B3nrey starts whispering to him about how good he smells and how B3nrey wants to taste him and ruh roh that’s a bit of a red flag considering how this guy is not human very clearly. So getting some fucking sense finally G0rdon pushes him off slightly and says “Wait, what *are* you?” and B3nrey says “I’m not human,” and G0rdon says “Clearly! Can you PLEASE be more specific than that?” and B3nrey says “You need clearance to access that information. You have id?” and G0rdon is finally starting to realize what a Pain In The Ass this dude is so he says “that’s it. I’m leaving” but B3nrey grabs his arm and pretty much whines “nooooo wait what we were having fun. You were having a good time. Why’d you have to go and ruin it?” and G0rdon answers “Because I don’t want an inhuman STRANGER from the middle of the WOODS to EAT me!” so B3nrey replies “I won’t eat you- I’m nice,” and ya know what? G0rdon is horny enough to take that answer.

So they start really going down on each other and by the time G0rdon is getting eaten out and he wants to moan out a name he realizes he doesn’t have one to. He really let this guy he doesn’t even know the name of give him head. So he asks and B3nrey gives him sass about it (and G0rdon doesn’t think to bring up that he didn’t ask either so win for benny) and they go back at it. This eventually ends up with G0rdon riding d!ck and B3nrey finishing inside. G0rdon finally feels relief and get’s B3nrey something to clean himself off with and then G0rdon goes and takes a shower. By the time he’s out, B3nrey is gone. After making sure B3nrey didn’t steal anything, G0rdon texts t0mmy some questions and finds out B3nrey is a vampire and *totally* could’ve murdered G0rdon if he wanted to which is both scary and hot to him. 

I already have ideas to continue this but I’d have to fuckin write it first. Send me an ask if you really want to see this I guess lmao.

[normal-thoughts-official]

Question.... how might you fit Camille angst into Camboy AU? Or Asmodeous? You dont have to if you dont want to but I love angst

[pulls out fully prepared powerpoint] im glad you asked….

seriously tho, if you think that i don’t want to fit camille angst into this AU, ur an idiot. i always want to fit camille angst. come on anon, youre better than this.

anyway. AHEM.

warning ahead for descriptions of emotional and sexual abuse, transphobia, manipulation

ok so when camille and magnus got together he wasn’t doing cam stuff yet, but i’m thinking he was already considering it? like it’s something he wanted to do and had the means to and thought he could enjoy and make some money out of. i have mixed thoughts about his backstory here, like, maybe he was a college dropout? because he ran away from home because of asmodeus. and he had the support of maia - maybe they even ran away together since she also ran away from home? hmm - and raphael (who had lost his family and had been lowkey taken under magnus’ wing and so he left with him too?) and cat and ragnor whom he possibly met later? and he was in a new city where he didn’t know many people and didn’t have an income source and thus he was even more vulnerable to camille’s abuse. like he still studies the shit he enjoys and actually i have this half-cooked thought about how him, maia, cat and ragnor wanting to develop, like, some sort of substance to help clean the ocean but they don’t want to do it for a company cuz they want it to be easily accessible and not used for profit, so they kind of do it voluntarily together, and- i’m not answering the goddamn question what the fuck shit goddamn you stupid fucking brain youve been WAITING for this question

anyWAY when magnus first met camille he still wasn’t doing cam stuff, he was living with maia and raphael and living off gigs? and still considering going back to college at the time (but he ultimately decided that nah it’s not worth the debt when he is doing just fine being self taught). but he was still in a bad mental space and wasn’t very stable and that made him all the more vulnerable to her bullshit

she was actually the reason he didn’t start doing cam stuff sooner - he had the means and he wanted to, but. well, first of all, camille was a possessive, jealous girlfriend. she would do this thing where she would simultaneously tell him she didn’t find him attractive - from saying that no one else could ever love someone like him to more casual, offhand, even matter-of-fact comments about how of course he needs makeup, or just vague comments like “kissing you is so weird sometimes” that she didn’t expand on and left him to mull over - and think he would cheat on her with, like, anyone and anything, and being extremely possessive.

she wouldn’t let him go out with friends unless she was with him - and when she was with him, she wouldn’t interact with them a lot unless it was to be lowkey nasty and try to get them to pick up a fight. so eventually magnus started not wanting to see his friends anymore because it meant more stress and not a good time. maybe he even moved out to live with camille for a while? or she was just always there and kept telling him that his friends - especially raphael - were trying to pit him against her. 

and if magnus ever complained about it, she would say that this is exactly why she doesn’t trust him - because he keeps insisting on seeing them without her so much. what does he have to hide? and why isn’t her presence enough? if their relationship is not enough for him and he keeps wanting to be with other people without her, does he even want to be with her at all? does he even truly love her? if she’s not enough for him even as a friend, why would she be as a girlfriend? and she doesn’t deserve that humiliation, to be cheated on when she settled for him and gave him her all.

so obviously if he ever started doing cam shit, even if by himself, even if with her knowing, even if it’s not really cheating…. he knew she’d flip. she’d never let him. besides, she was helping him, right? she was rich and had no qualms about paying things for him, even if she was constantly commenting how embarrassing that must be for him. “poor baby, can’t even afford to look after yourself, need your girlfriend to help you so you can eat, huh?”. 

(it was embarrassing. not because she was a girl, but just because he never wanted to be a burden to anyone)

but anyway, if he had her, he wouldn’t really need to do something like this, would he? what would she even say? would she even want to stay with him, when he knew she found sex workers disgusting and laughable?

(there’s a little more to it, too - the comments about his appearance started to get to him. why would anyone want to pay to see magnus’ body, when his own girlfriend didn’t like it? when she needed him to make up for it?)

and well not to go on a tangent (altho it’s not really a tangent because it does apply to this au) but i do have this headcanon that i’ve been wanting to talk about but never had the energy to daouhsdaudas that camille gave him so much shit for being a bottom

like…. “what kind of man are you, who doesn’t even want to be the one to fuck? wouldn’t it be easier to just stay a girl?”. but not just that, either. also just thinking that the idea of a man wanting to be fucked by a woman is pathetic, ridiculous. she would never. and like, that is fine, because it’s not like magnus hates topping or anything, he just prefers bottoming. but he’s topped a lot before - he always wants his partners to enjoy themselves, after all, so it’s no big deal. so, you know, he’d top her, no problem

but with her, it always felt like some kind of test

during sex was the only time she ever praised him, except for when he decided to do what she wanted after they had some sort of disagreement or fight. but it was always full of these little humiliations - and not the good, arousing kind that he was into, no matter how many times camille told him to stop whining because she knew he liked stuff like this - like comments on his body, on his appearance, on his performance. the first time she saw him with a strap-on, she laughed and said he looked fake. “even faker,” she commented, and didn’t elaborate, but then was extremely offended that he would ever think she was talking about his transness, because she would never say something like that, she never had a problem with him being trans. why is he even with her, if he doesn’t trust her enough to know this?

not to mention sometimes she would just- recoil. not want to hug him, or cuddle with him, or any kind of touch really. but when he tried to fuck her, to make her feel good - that she wanted. slowly sex started being the only kind of affection or touch that he got, so he wanted to do good. to make her feel good. so she wouldn’t stop wanting to do that, either. he already knew she cheated on him sometimes - she just needed more. he wasn’t enough. but at least he was good enough to get to be with her in that way, and he really, really didn’t want to lose that

well, eventually it got to a point where he couldn’t do it anymore- just got so depressed and dysphoric and desperate camille pretty much threatened to kick him out if he didn’t stop being such a slack, and he said ok. he’d leave. he was done. he couldn’t be happy like this.

she let him go with a string of venomous words about how she wouldn’t miss him, and how he was nothing without her. and then he went back to maia’s and raphael’s, embarrassed and terrified, with apologies on his lips, as well as the promise that he would leave soon, he wouldn’t burden then for long, he just didn’t have anywhere else to go right now

when they saw him at the door, they hugged him so tight it was like breathing for the first time. it was one of the only times he ever saw raphael cry

“we were scared we wouldn’t see you again,” they said

maia was scared the next time she heard about him, it would be about his funeral. she was almost in that place, once upon a time

they put him in a blanket like he was a traumatized child, and raphael made him the hot chocolate magnus used to make him when he was in need of comfort. and they helped him get back on his feet

it took him a while to consider doing cam stuff again, because- well, first of all, he needed to heal. second of all, he was living with raphael and maia now. and third, he still thought it was a silly idea, that he wouldn’t get any clients, that he wasn’t attractive enough, and he definitely wasn’t good in bed enough for anyone to be interested in watching him. you know

but after some time he started considering it again - it’s way better than retail or living off gigs and the 3 of them are a little more stable now. and then maia introduced him and raphael to meliorn, and him and meliorn talked about it a little bit - meliorn was very open about being a sex worker and didn’t mind helping magnus at all, teaching him a few things to watch out for, how most sites work, and recommended him the one they worked at, which had a trans men category. and his interest grew.

he filmed a few things when maia and raphael were out at work, but was hesitant to upload it. one day he did, and- well. it got him some money, and even a few subscriptions, which he really, really wasn’t expecting

so he started putting up a few more when he could, and eventually with that plus the money he had been saving he managed to save up for his own apartment - it was small and in the same building/neighborhood as before, so he was still close, but now he had more space, you know. it helped him get more comfortable

not that it was a secret, raphael and maia knew about it and didn’t really care, beyond raphael’s usual disgust at all things sexual. but they were supportive. so all was cool

and that’s when cam stuff started being his main source of income, until he dived into promoting it and getting clients deep enough for it to be his only source of income. in a way, it helped him feel a little more attractive and realize that, well, people liked his body. it’s just camille who didn’t

still, camille was one of the main reasons why he didn’t want to do feature videos for a long time - when it was just him, he was in way more control. no one could hurt him. no one could get to him. no one was actually there to know how good he was performing, he just had to look good. but with someone else it might be different. and then he would feel like a fraud, and lose his followers and money. idk if anyone even still remembers the original post but i mentioned in it that when he started talking to alec, he didn’t want to make feature films, they just started talking, became friends, then eventually did a feature video and fell down that rabbit hole. so yeah, that’s why

and then there’s the usual, you know - magnus thinking alec wouldn’t be attracted to him because hes trans, wouldn’t have enjoyed having sex with him. when they finished their first vid he was like “wow alec is such a great actor” but in reality he had just fucking blown alec’s mind with the absolute best sex he’s ever had in his whole life. and alec’s definitely not inexperienced in this au

alec isn’t his first after camille - meliorn is, i also mentioned them having been fuck buddies before he met alec - but it still blows his mind a little bit how sex with alec feels just. good. natural. like he really allowed himself to get lost in pleasure and not have that ever-constant presence in the back of his mind telling him he needed to do better, to do more. and alec was just so respectful to him and never pressured him into anything and just touched him all over without shame and it was so good because with camille she barely touched him, she wanted him to do all the work

not that meliorn wasn’t good or amazing either, but with them it was scratching an itch, and there was still that pressure he put on himself even if meliorn didn’t. but with alec there was just this connection, it worked in a way it hadn’t in a long time. which was shocking, because he definitely, definitely wasn’t expecting something like this from a cis white guy

but then again he wouldn’t have ever agreed to do this with alec if they weren’t already friends and close enough for magnus to know he was nothing if not respectful, caring, and willing to learn

but there’s some point you reach with abuse where being abused just feels natural and like a relationship should be. after a while, the abuser logic gets to you. it starts to make sense. and then you get in another relationship, and that logic doesn’t apply at all, and they don’t even think about doing the kinds of things that the abusers did. and something just clicks. like even if you did understand that what the abuser did wasn’t cool or acceptable or deserved, there’s a sort of understanding it that only comes when you re-experience an actually good relationship again, and remember, after so long on focusing on the bad things, what the good things are like. and alec was definitely that for magnus in all universes, that breath of fresh air, that feeling of wonder at being genuinely cared for and respected, and realizing you won’t settle for less anymore. that’s the feeling of starting to heal, when you get to experience that but you don’t take it as “wow they’re so perfect and different from the others”. they’re just how it’s supposed to, and can be.

and alec just so happens to be almost perfectly compatible with him, both in and outside of sex. and it’s amazing, in a way he hadn’t dared to hope for, or believe in

so yeah. that’s what i think about how the whole asmodeus/camille ordeal affected his story, and his future relationship with both his job and alec, later.

[gilgaemsh-a]

IM FINALLY ABLE TO MAKE MY BNHA OCS AHHHH!!!!! part one at least lmao i’m gunna make a part 2 reallllllllly soon

the style of this picrew is similar to bnha style so it’s better for me to think up my ocs (at least the girls) this way!! (i’m very picky orz)

also i’m always up for rping if anyone is interested!!!!! dm me dude!!!!!!!!!!!!

also also! quirks aren’t like final versions?? im still tryna figure out how to make quirks more... quirk-like lol.

intros under the cut!!

@bnhappreciation​ @bnha-oc-collection​

ankou fuwara (#1 & #2)

the ever blooming hero: chloris

ankou is my most loved oc and the by far the hardest to make for some reason. her and her quirk went through so many changes its insane but i finally settled on something perfect.

she’s currently an active hero having just graduated from u.a. she’s extremely popular and currently number 12 on the hero billboard (shes 19 btw)

ankou quirk is overgrowth aka chlorokinesis - the manipulation of plant life and pheromone generation. (she can do a lot with her quirk so shes my second most op character)

her range is pretty much the same as pixie bob’s earth flow.

ankou was actually a child star, a very popular actress/model. she quit when she graduated to focus on her hero career which is one of the reasons why she’s so popular.

when ankou was in school to was the top u.a. student along with two others (they’re boys so i wasnt able to make them but one day i will)

ankou quirk is actually a combo of her parents her mother has minimal manipulation over plants and her father could manipulate his pheromones

ankou is the older sister type. she’s super kind and caring and protective of people close to her.

she unofficially adopts izuku when she meets him

she also (surprisingly) has a good relationship with bakugou. she treats him like a younger brother and teases him a lot.

ankou is also the type to be really scary when angry

ankou had a really hard time making friends growing up because she couldn’t control her pheromones properly

alot of the times her classmates or even random people would fall in love with her just by her scent or other times end up being despised by it

both of ankou’s parents actually come from hero families. they grew up together since their families knew each other & they were both the youngest. neither of them wanted to be heroes.

ankou’s mother (ririka) is a pharmacist for one of the top hospitals in japan while her father (aizen) is an a-list actor.

side note! ankou’s father aizen took ririka’s last name.

i hardcore ship ankou and tomura. it literally started by me just thinking “oh hey lmao ankou has a life quirk and tomura has a death quirk! wait-”

so now their my otp.

oh btw the first pic is how ankou looks currently, the other is her older.

kurena kan (#3)

the healing heroine: nightingale

my child. my baby. she’s never done a single thing wrong in her entire life.

kurena is a mixed baby, half japanese & half american

she grew up with her father sekijiro kan in japan, her mother, charity brown is currently deceased.

her quirk is miracle blood - the ability to heal others and herself using her own blood. she can manipulate her blood as well. kurena has high regenerative properties as well! as long as her blood is flowing she can heal herself extremely fast.

as you know vlad king (her father) is able to manipulate blood but kurena’s mother was able to heal people with her quirk (empathic healing) which resulted in kurena’s quirk.

kurena is currently a first year at u.a. in izuku’s class.

she’s the tomboy type, tends to get into a lot of fights though she’s actually really mellow and cool.

she’s also the type that if she were to dress as a boy, she’d make a really hot one. (though as a girl she’s super hot too)

she’s recovery girl’s apprentice and helps out alot in the infirmary of the school

deku spends a lot less time there since kurena can heal him lol

i ship kurena with todoroki and bakugou. my beloved ot3

all three of them are p competitive with each other (don’t worry it’s all healthy competition)

kurena’s mother came to japan to further to abilities and apprentice under recovery girl which is how her and sekijiro met

she died helping recovery girl heal all might as a backlash of her quirk

kurena’s mother is full blown italian! and partially named kurena because it sounds like carina which means beloved

in japanese kurena the kanji for her name is crimson

oh!! aizawa is kurena’s godfather on her mother’s side! the two are very close

charity and aizawa were best friends before she died

miwa midoriya* (#4)

all in one heroine: alter ego

oof my most op oc you can fight me im not changing her.

miwa is actually the daughter of two high profile villains

she’s actually an “experiment”, the two villains had been working on a way to merge their quirks in the perfect way to make a strong villain - miwa was their current project until she escaped them

miwa doesn’t know how many others came before her or what happened to them when she asked she was told her ‘siblings’ were disposed of.

miwa’s quirk is gunna be the hardest to explain lol the short version is: miwa’s body can mimic and control different elements.

like... full on mimics elements. yknow like and elemental spirit? how it’s just a being made of fire or water or air etc etc? that’s miwa.

i’m actually on the fence about making the elements miwa shifts into to be alters (like she suffers from dissociative personality disorder.) so basically every time she shifts into a different element that element has its own personality? tho maybe it doesn’t even need to be DID it could just be the way her quirk works? SOMEONE GIVE ME INPUT PLS

her mother is a shapeshifter while her father could control elements

miwa was rescued by izuku’s father and then later adopted by him when it was quickly realized she didn’t want anyone else

she grew up with izuku and bakugou. her a bakugou are actually quite close since she’s the first person to beat him in stuff. he likes how strong she is.

miwa is also a pacifist! she had no interest in being a hero (it sounded like more trouble then it was worth) but when bakugou and izuku applied for u.a. she didn’t want to be left alone so she applied.

miwa is a soft bean. she hates violence but is willing to ATTACK when her loved ones are in danger

she’s also in the constant fear that her parents are watching her every move. she feels as if her parents gave her up to easy or staged the hero rescue for a reason. she’s constantly paranoid lol

miwa is classified as “looks like a cinnamon roll; can kill you”

nagi the tempest (#5)

real name: aoka arashi

currently my only villain but don’t worry i plan on making more!

nagi is the only daughter of as prostigious hero family.

the arashi family was known for its variety of powerful weather related quirks and continued to plan marriages based on quirks

the arashi family was also very abusive in its training and pushed nagi through limits she still has nightmares about; the training was due to how volatile nagi’s quirk is. which she was often blamed for

one day nagi snapped and destroyed the arashi family home along with everyone inside she was on the run for awhile before dabi found her

at that point i guess he was already apart of the league of villains? i’m not sure when dabi joined tho so this is just me guessing

nagi’s quirk is storm - nagi is able to create storms and manipulate them! it’s an extremely violate quirk that almost got her killed when she first manifested it. it’s the reason her training was so grueling. nagi needs moisture in order for her quirk to work

and while thunderstorms are something she can make she can’t actually control the lightning; not because it’s not apart of her quirk but because lighting is tricky to control in itself

she wields a katana that acts as a conduit for the lightning

when nagi does try to control the lightning more often than not it backlashes onto herself creating wounds/scars on her body in the shape of lightning bolts

dabi thinks they’re really pretty

nagi is the silent type. she very rarely talks and no one in the league of villains has ever heard the sound of her voice

dabi brags about being the only person nagi talks too

the name nagi was given to her by dabi it means the calm before the storm

though dabi gave her the nickname he often calls her aoka when they’re alone

despite her blonde hair and blue eyes nagi is 100% japanese!

her and dabi are hardly ever seen apart and if you haven’t guessed it i ship them lol

hinata enma (#6)

the beguiling heroine: enchanter

my trans baby girl!!!!!!!!

a 5th generation geisha currently a maiko of course

her quirk is heartbreaker - a succubus quirk! besides her supernatural beauty and over all supernatural condition (strength, speed all that good stuff) hinata’s real quirk is her voice; her voice has the power to control others and even alter reality.

you know allison hargreeves from the umbrella academy? that’s hinata

i’m still not sure how i want hinata to be able to trigger that power like how allison as to say “i heard a rumor” to use her power?? idk what i want hina to say

a hinoenma is a japanese yokai extremely similar to succubi which is where i got hina’s name

as i mentioned, hina is a geisha! not a prostitue

growing up hina was taught art, dancing and singing she excels at all three uwu

hina’s mother, yuuhi, is close friends with masaru bakugou. masaru usually goes to her for help with traditional japanese fashion

because of this bakugou and hina grew up together

the two are best friends even though they go to separate schools katsuki is the only one hina doesn’t use her power on

katsuki is also the one to encourage hina to become a hero though the two don’t go to u.a together instead hina attends shiketsu high

the two of them video call each other daily

hina is very mischievous!! she likes playing harmless pranks and teasing others

when she was in elementary and middle school she was often picked on for her quirk being a ‘villain’ quirk

she’s never used her quirk in malicious ways

the most malicious way she’d use is to help play a prank

she trains with bakugou when she can

[cath-with-a-c]

This is the comment I woke up to on Friday morning. The amount of bigotry hiding behind the almost polite and seemingly thoughtful wording is astonishing. 

I’ve responded to it already, informing the individual behind it that I won’t be discussing the points of the comment with them, as they’ve resorted to personally attacking me, which is...dumb. I mean, attack my work all you like, it either helps me grow as an author by learning from my mistakes or as a person by growing a spine and defending my work. But coming after someone who has no connection to this and can’t defend themselves because they are no longer with us? Low and disgusting. (Also wow, they’ve taken the time to find the only truly personal post I have on tumblr, and it’s more than a month old, what a commitment to come off as pathetic, really)

Anyway, while talking to that particular individual is out of question, I still kinda wanna address the certain things in the comment because wow, my first queerphobic comment and an excuse to talk more about “Nothing and Everything”, my boys and myself? How can I pass that?

(this is like... a long-ass one... prepare yourselves)

(I’m gonna refer to the commentator as “Fox” and, probably, “them” because well, I don’t know what their preferred pronounce are)

NB! I’m using the term “queer” as an umbrella term to mean everyone who isn’t strictly straight and/or cis-gender.

Let’s start from the top

1.

The best part about slashfic writers is that when they write about child abuse, child sex abuse, and drug and alcohol abuse while including gay characters, is that they’re really writing about the lives of gay men without realizing it. To you, gay men being abused and that being the arbiter of their homosexual identity is too homophobic to fathom. But you still confirm it in subtle ways, and that always brings a smile to my face. 

Now, English isn’t my first language, so I might be missing something, but If Fox meant being the arbiter of as in defining, being the reason for, than no, it’s not homophobic. It’s just dumb. One, there isn’t a single relevant scientifically accurate study on the abuse causing someone to “turn gay”. Two - there might be a correlation (and it’s not necessary there, I’m just guessing), but the cause and effect will be the other way around, queer kids get abused more because they are queer, not become queer as the result of the abuse. And, most importantly, three - in terms of sexual orientation, you can’t turn someone queer, as well as you can’t turn someone straight. It’s something you are born with and discover as you go along. 

And also the other two queer characters, Rob and Penny, weren’t abused by their parents and/or other family members, but we will touch on that later. 

2.

“The Brotherhood had no problem with homosexuality” - Of course not, and neither do the Templars. It’s the Current Year. You can marry/have sex with whomever you want, whatever you want, whenever you want.

Ignoring the fact that this was taken out of context, and the whole phrase has a slightly different meaning, there are two things that are factually wrong with this statement. First - even in the Current Year, there is a ton of places where being openly queer is dangerous, from the countries that have “anti-gay” laws (ranging from “you can be gay, but stay quiet or go to jail” to “die a horrible death for being gay”), to certain, let’s say, traditionally oriented places in the US. Second - this is not Current Year. The bulk of the story takes place between 1998 and 2003, this phrase is taken from the chapter taking place in 2003, 16 years prior, things were, let’s say, slightly different.

Also, I don’t understand why Fox tried to make this sound sarcastic, we are talking about two societies, with one canonically being for freedom and choice and the other one relying on public favor to propel their agenda, of course, none of them will have qualms with the GRSM community, 

3.

“Honorary gay parents of a gay kid” - Well no wonder the kid is gay. Look at the environment xe/xim/xer grew up in.

I like how Fox uses the non-binary pronounces referring to Penny, when the only thing that has been said about her/them is “I’m into girls.” Also out of 16 kids on the Farm, only 3 are confirmed to be queer. They’ve all grown up in the same environment, so that statement is... meaningless. And in case Fox was referring to Rob and Des turning Penny “gay” well, they’ve also been close with Sam and he’s - what a shock - straight! So again - meaningless.

I’m gonna skip Fox shitting on my friend’s art, again - such remarks are low, pathetic and not worth discussing, let’s get to the juicy stuff. 

4.

It’s amusing, no, to have a pansexual – an individual who is attracted to ‘all genders’ - writing about gay men so much? How many genders are there? Thousands? 51? All on the spectrum? Regardless, tumblrinas are as big on their sexual identities as they are on their activism. In this case, we have a person – presumably female – getting wet over two dudes banging. I’m simply wondering if they packed enough lube and had their enemas. Maybe it was hidden in their stash?

Well, as a matter of fact - they didn’t have lube in their stashes because the only way to get it was to essentially ask one of the adults going to the city to get it for them, can you imagine a 16yo asking something like that? Death from mortification would be the most likely outcome.

Seriously though, I write what I like about whom I like. The only thing it has to do with me being pansexual is that I have more confidence in writing non-straight characters and relationships because I know it’s fine, and my queerphobic background can’t silence me anymore. Also - Desmond isn’t gay, he is bisexual. Rob is gay, true. 

The amount of genders is still up for debate, in my personal opinion it’s all on the spectrum, and the only reason gender issues don’t come out in fiction as much as sexual orientations do is that gender in a lot of cases is a more personal thing than orientation, that’ll inevitably reflect on the inter-character dynamics. A lot of genderqueer people are fine with using male or female pronounces, which to an outsider would put them in respective categories. There are, of course, androgynous people, trans people, non-binary people and others for whom gender and the perception of their gender are important in day to day life - and there are more and more stories featuring them.

Also, on the note of pansexuality - it’s not “attraction to all genders,” it’s having an attraction to the person regardless of their sex or gender, those labels play an insignificant part in me deciding to pursue a relationship. (Also also there might be like a ton of things to discuss in regards to how sexuality relates to gender identities, but not here, not now)

And yes, I’m afab, so yeah, “female” and I do “get wet over the two dudes banging”. Fox got me. Now what? Shame Fox seemingly can’t conceptualize that I “get wet” because I wrote those boys in a story that contains a hard emotional journey full of heartbreak, and I do revel in the short happy moments they’ve got together. The sexual/sensual part is hot because it’s those particular two guys, not just random two guys. 

Oh, and the last thing here - I don’t know if it’s news for Fox, but not all people in a homosexual relationship engage in anal sex. Especially teens in their first relationship. Just saying.

Let’s skip another personal attack part, here we go, sorry that the phrase is broken up

5.

she educated a pansexual SJW into confirming every negative and dirty secret in the gay community: a brutal, abusive father, societal ‘homophobia’, drug and alcohol abuse, and feeling inadequate compared to heterosexual people.

Tbh, this is the part of the comment that had me confused for a moment, as I mistook Fox for one of the “hardcore gay” people, that think that with letters added to LGBT and by putting everything on the spectrum we somehow affect negatively the “real” gay community. The next paragraph cleared this shit for me tho.

Right off the bat - SJW isn’t a dirty word, Fox shouldn’t try to sell it as one. And I won’t label myself as a SJW, because as of now, I lack the commitment to the cause. 

For the next part, I’d really, really like to quote a line from one of my fav vines “Bitch, where?” but for the sake of politeness, I’ll go with “Citation needed,” because from all of the things mentioned, the only one that is really prominent in the text is the “brutal, abusive father”. Societal homophobia isn’t exactly in the text (pay attention, teen Rob is cautious about adults being homophobic, it’s a valid fear a lot of queer teens have prior to coming out, but the general atmosphere isn’t homophobic. If I wanted it to be, adding a scene of public shame/shunning for someone caught in the act wouldn’t be hard), no drug and\or alcohol abuse (1 scene of teens trying drinks for the first time doesn’t count - surprise, teenagers try drinking), and feeling inadequate is mentioned once as a fear of a nine-year-old Penny, who has no frame of reference other than heterosexual behavior of the others, and is corrected almost immediately by Rob.

6.

Was this about Assassin’s Creed? No, not really. Despite you being a HUUUUUUUUUUUUUGE fan, you don’t really respect these characters. Miles is a douchebag, it’s true, but he’s respected even by Otso Berg. That should tell you something. 

(I’d like to see an example of Fox-approved, really-about-Assassin’s-Creed fanfiction, for a future reference, but alas, they’ve commented from as guest)

Interesting how me not liking or respecting Bill, canonically abusive douchebag known for alienating people because of how cold and manipulative he is, translates into me automatically not respecting every other character in the series. 

Also, I don’t see how Otso Berg respecting William as an opponent should sway my judgment. I’ve mentioned here on my blog that I like Garnier de Naplouse as a villain - how self-assured he is, and how much quiet intelligence he has. Do I like him in general as a person? No. Do I respect him? No. He tortured people. I relished in seeing Altair murder him. 

With Bill, him being a douchebag and abuser is a deciding fact for me, I do not respect abusers, no matter how great they may be. But tbh, on the leadership front, I can’t quite decide if Bill is a fine leader given the circumstances, or if the number of instances of him being canonically shitty as a leader is big enough to call for his removal. 

7.

You crafted him into a predictable homophobic dad, albeit he isn’t Christian. I was waiting for the Bible to be thrown at Desmond.

Again - citation needed. One instance in the text of Bill being homophobic. Not abusive, not overly-demanding, but homophobic. 

(Spoiler alert - there isn’t one.)

As for the Christian associations - well, it’s in the tags. Literally. In this story, the Brotherhood is a cult, like the JWs, or the LDS church, but with Creed instead of a holy book. And I guess I succeeded in conveying the feeling.

8.

In another Tumblr post, you wrote about how William is very abusive to Desmond, and how that is inexcusable. You bring up Nikolai and putting his child out in the cold as punishment, and earlier, cited Philosophy Tube in regards to solitary confinement (which really shows a lot). How do you explore this concept?

I wonder what me citing Philosophy Tube shows, except for maybe that I find Olly to be a very pleasant narrator and that the themes he touches on are rather interesting (Olly is precious, protect Olly).

I think I was rather unsubtle with showing what exactly abuse, inflicted by Bill, did to Desmond. And not, not “turn him gay”, about that in a moment. I don’t delve like deep into what was happening in Desmond’s head because this story is from Rob’s perspective. Not Desmond’s.

This story isn’t about the relationship between Bill and Desmond. It’s about Desmond not living in a vacuum all those years on the Farm.

Write William being SO abusive he turns his son gay. You make him so homophobic Desmond reacts by engaging in self-destructive behaviour and, in turn, becoming your average gay man. Your OC, Richard, Robert is merely the bridge.

“Bitch where?!“ (c) 

1. Desmond isn’t gay. He is bi (because I’m keeping it as close to the canon as I can and I love Elijah to death). It’s in the tags, and it’s in the tags rather than stated because Desmond’s sexual orientation isn’t the point of this story, 2. Bill isn’t homophobic, at least not openly. There’s a different issue within the Brotherhood, the fact that they expect everyone born into the Brotherhood to have kids of their own. This is the source of Rob’s unease and perceiving adults as not reacting positively him or any other kid in a queer relationship.  3. If I wanted Bill to come off as homophobic, I’d portray him like that. Using slurs, for example.  4. Bill abuses Desmond not because he thinks his son is gay - he thinks his son is weak. In general. Not related to orientation. Like in the fucking canon. I’m merely turning the abuse factor up to eleven. 5. No one abused Rob, his father is shown in the text to be one of the best parents on the Farm - and Rob is gay. No one abused Penny, her family is mentioned briefly, but I specifically did it in a way that shows that they are nice - and she is a lesbian. Another boy, Colin, got abused by his strict mother - and he is straight. Desmond got abused by his father - and he is bi. There is no correlation between abuse and being queer.  6. Desmond's self-destructive behavior came from him being abused on a daily basis for most of his life and having no way out. Again, if it was linked to his orientation Rob would do that stuff too. He doesn’t.

9.

You make these characters gay because, as a ‘queer pansexual person’ you can. But you don’t really make them human. In fact, every single negative stereotype you want to protect yourselves from our oh-so-bigoted society are confirming them, while simultaneously denying that they exist.

In short, everything and everyone acted the way I expected to, and was written the way I expected a queer pansexual to write them: meaningless, with only the sexual identity taking place. Funny how that’s the only identity politics that’s allowed. Everything else is oh so bigoted.

I’m not denying the existence of the stereotype, I’m just not acknowledging it as valid, because it’s not. It’s like blaming violence on video games - you’d be hard-pressed to find a youngster who doesn’t play a semi-violent game of some kind, with blood and murder, but every time someone brings up that another shooter was playing those games, they forget to mention how many youngsters play and don’t commit murder as a result.

The same way Fox keeps bringing up the “abuse turned Desmond gay” without acknowledging that there’s a ton of straight teens that get abused worse than Desmond in this story, or the two queer kids right in the text who weren’t abused.

It’s also funny that Fox is adamantly holding to the “sexual identity” thing, despite the fact that it came up only in 5th chapter (with 4 chapters before that having nothing to do with sexual orientation) and it’s not even an identity/orientation thing. It’s the “relationship between Rob and Desmond” thing and “Desmond is clinging to as much happiness as he can because he has none” thing. The only time orientation comes up in term of identity it’s when Rob talks to Penny and thinks of himself as a closeted gay man, but it immediately switches back into the “relationship between two people” again. 

10.

You call yourself an AC fan? 

Yes. Yes, I do. Ain’t nothing some bigot on the internet can do about it ;)

(If you read this through to the end, I applaud you, thank you for your time <3)

[olivia-calidamn]

6, 16 esme, 16 beatrice

current favorite brotp, and a song for them

Tom this was insanely hard but i’m gonna pick Jacquelyn, Gustav and Larry so The Gay Trifecta and either say Hot Patootie/Bless My Soul by Meatloaf from RHPS or Playing With The Boys by Kenny Loggins from Top Gun (??) Hot Patootie would be them messing around in the City at night and like. Playing With The Boys would be ideally a volleyball match lmao

or the Baudelaires and Kids Of Tragedy by Suzi Quatro ie. the perfect credits song for the entire series i absolutely love Suzi Quatro and Kids Of Tragedy

3 headcanons for Esmé

she hates people, not ‘cause they’re gay or bi or trans or nonbinary, etc., she doesn’t like the concept of people, fuck do people annoy her unless they’re giving her their undivided attention and adoration and honestly working in the financial sector would do this to someone; 

she likes women, babeyyyy; 

she tries to hide it very well but her Girlfriends learn she can be Influenced™️ by being offered a Shiny™️ object so like, they’ll say to her “Esmé if you come to this dinner with our VFD pals and you don’t try to tear up Beatrice on sight we’ll give you this Shiny™️” and she goes “gimme”; 

also Georgina is the absolute Esmé Expert™️. her Girlfriends go to Georgina to ask about Esmé and what Georgina doesn’t know about Esmé isn’t worth anyone else knowing or she’s hidden it deep inside oops

3 headcanons for Esmé

ooh!!! okay lemme see

oh she is a goth. Beatrice is goth. i mean. the bats?? no doubt she wore black a lot?? the fact that so many guys and girls wanted her to be their Goth GF™️??? idk maybe by like, the Baudelaires she’s very nuanced and refined in her goth so she’s very Morticia about it and hey the most recent photo we saw with Beatrice and the rest of VFD was from easily like 20 years ago maybe she wore the pink blouse so she and Quinn could be matchy-matchy idk but imagine the Bauds reading the Addams Family comics or watching the 60′s show and seeing Morticia and doing a double take at their Mom;

the absolute CORE of VFD drama. if nothing’s happening in VFD she will find something to happen and shake up everything. she’s a messy bitch who lives for drama and i support her;

i love C’s idea of Brazilian Beatrice!! Beatrice teaching the Baudelaires both English and Portuguese so they grow up bilingual (i have a fic i’m working on where Sunny’s saying Portuguese words as well as English/her Babble) which is awesome i wish i’d grown up bilingual or at least remembered more of languages i’ve learned;

oh my god y’know how there’s an Esmé Squalor Fan Club what if there was a Beatrice Baudelaire fan club tho most of the members would be VFD members as well now i think of it lmao;

now a headcanon concerning both Esmé and Beatrice which yes is very common but like. they had a messy relationship and a messier breakup. it was like a new schism in VFD:For Esmé and For Beatrice. Jerome took Beatrice’s side but Esmé is completely unaware. Georgina kept switching sides just to piss Esmé off. Jacquelyn didn’t want to be involved so she was eventually the one who began disbanding the New Schism - after she gave both of them a pair of boxing gloves and told them to go to town. a tooth may have been knocked out. neither of them owned up to it so they didn’t prove one was better than the other. no one knows who the tooth belongs to but Beatrice, Esmé, and a City dentist.

[mottski]

t update, 1.5 months!

the long ramble will be under a readmore but the gist:

-i’m growin a lil creeper stache and i’m not sure what to do with it yet. all the rest of my face hairs are still too transparent to notice but the wee creeper stache is comin in dark enough that my brain keeps going “THERE’S SOMETHING ON YOUR FACE” every time i glance in the mirror

-my voice is so deep yall i think it might wind up deeper than my cis coworkers

-HAIR! MUCH HAIR. it wasn’t super noticeable until recently and then i was changing and was like “oh hey stomach hair, nice.” 

-since i’ve moved to my leg, the shots have been so much easier. idk why my stomach was a Real Bad Zone but i’ve had like 0 issues and even on the times i don’t ice the spot enough and it stings a bit, my brain doesn’t flip shit. 

-on the down side, it itches on my leg more and i wind up with shot location bruises a lot. worth it tho

-getting a blood test tomorro to check my T levels (and also to check if my thyroid is, you know, as failing as it looked on my last blood test. so that’s...fun...)

-i’m being read consistently as male now by strangers, probs cause of the voice first and creeper stache second

-i’ve absolutely gained hella muscle thanks to my job. who knew lifting car batteries on T would give u thicc arms and shoulders. shocking. 

-my doctor was impressed at how much muscle i’ve gained :D

-racist coworker, i think, has some internalized transphobia issues as well (to no one’s surprise). he correctly genders me when no one is around, but the second there’s another person in the room he gives off this vibe of being extremely uncomfortable with identifying me as being the same gender he is. i don’t think it’s even a conscious thing, honestly. what sucks tho is that it immediately outs me. i have a tiny stache and my voice is super deep. i’m read as male. i sound male. if he calls me ‘she’ there’s no goddamn way around it for the poor awkward customer now stuck in a situation of realizing 1: this employee is definitely a guy, 2: why is that coworker calling him she, 3: oh right trans people exist, 4: THIS IS AWKWARD DO I CORRECT HIM OR WHAT

-related, i had a grandma age lady FIRMLY CORRECT that coworker by HEAVILY EMPHASIZING her use of ‘he’ towards me

-on the down side, coworker had misgendered me earlier that day and the customer went ABOVE AND BEYOND to emphasize ‘she’ in his sentences despite me having, yknow. creeper stache. low voice. visibly uncomfortable. 

-if he keeps doing it, i’ll talk to my manager cause that’s shitty af and legitimately unsafe for me if he outs me to the wrong person

-straight up tho T is making me gayer than i thought. like i’ve always been some weird mix of a- and bi- romantic but wew lads. also heh “straight up” nothing about me is straight. nothing.

and now, a ramble

so like, here’s the deal. i joined tumblr in early 2013 and the Hot Discourse of the Day was trans men. specifically people (transphobes and terfs, but i didn’t know that then) saying that trans men were either women who wanted a taste of male privilege or were shitty nasty traitors to women. i saw blogs be attacked for disagreeing. i saw people being called misogynistic women haters for disagreeing. it was some real shit. then after that, although it’s now starting to fade, was the years of “men are literally horrible evil monsters” Discourse. 

i’ve...always been very, very prone to absorbing (shitty) peer opinions and caving to them. i’m working on it. it’s a process. it’s kinda one of those need to fit in things where i just...agree with and absorb the views i’m seeing so that i can be one of the Cool Kids. not that it ever works but that’s what my brain tries to do.

...so when i first realized i was trans, i stuck with words like agender, nonbinary. then transmasculine. anything to like...avoid having to be the shitty nasty traitor monster. to this very second actually claiming that i might maybe be a trans man makes my brain go “BUT THAT’S A BAD THING YOU CAN’T.” to this very second.

i’m out at work as a trans man, i’m comfortable IRL being read as a man, but that’s not tumblr, is it. i’ll always be Vaguely Nonbinary but in my gut, i know i’m a trans man. i know it. i still haven’t fully 100% owned that yet though because tumblr’s attitude towards trans men has forced me deeper and deeper into the closet over the course of, what is it now, 5 years? that bullshit on this site is incredibly toxic. i’ve realized that now, in the past six months, which is good.

...undoing five years of absorbing that toxic attitude, though, is gonna be a real long haul.

so, anyway, i think i’ve now identified as everything but the I in the LGBT+ acronym and tumblr is fucking stupid

[scenarios-on-ice]

That you are!

“Ma'am, I don’t know what you’ve heard, but whatever it is- either Furuta or the toxic side of the YoI fandom started it!”

I used to be firmly for Trans!Mutsuki but now I’m not so sure. I’m mostly just annoyed and kinda sad at how this particular issues is tearing the fandom apart…keeping away from major spoilers, when Saiko was trying to ask Mutsuki about something important a few chapters back Mutsuki was like “So….yeah. You figured out that I’m actually a girl.” and then abruptly left. That was mostly where the doubt started: Mutsuki refered to themself as a ‘girl’. Did this stem from insecurity about revealing themself as trans or was it because Mutsuki actually sees themself as female?

And then later on, “I’m almost embarrassingly female.” Does this mean that they find their female body a burden/embarrassing, or that they can’t help but acknowledge that yes, they do identify as female in the end? Doesn’t help that their expression during this scene is very difficult to read (the scene itself is quite disturbing in nature as well).

Then people started connecting the dots. During the auction arc Mutsuki once said to themself ‘It’s not that I think like a man’ and was disgusted when they felt men’s gazes following them. Add this to "I want to ‘live’ as a man" instead of “I 'am’ a man” and the fact that they were probably molested by their father as a child and the theory that maybe they’re just pretending to be male because even as they fear men, they believe being male to be a symbol of power, one that will keep them safe, becomes quite a bit more plausible.

Even more confusing since most of Mutsuki 'I am female’ moments seem to come during mental breakdowns so the fandom is up in arms about that too. Does the mental breakdown mean that they’re not in their right mind and just rambling, or does it make them speak the truth and stop hiding (like Kaneki’s memory breakdown during the Tsukiyama arc; it was then he finally stopped warping/denying his own memories about his mother)?

I personally believe that Mutsuki might turn out to be female after all (especially since this is a Japanese manga; Japan might be more accepting of the LGBTQ community than other East-Asian countries but from what I’ve learned it’s still got quite a bit of prejudice and stereotyping going on and LGBTQ individuals are viewed differently from how they are in the West. It would also tie in with Ishida’s overall writing style) but I don’t bash those who believe them to be trans because I really, really wanted them to be trans too…

I just wish the fandom would stop being so aggressive about this ;-;

(That parody tho)

True, true, Jean would make a good Angelica ^^ as for Dear Theodosia, don’t most of Burr’s songs fit really well with Jean? I think it’s proof that the Jean-Burr casting was meant to be.

OH YEAH I totally forgot about that. Hide-Peggy makes much more sense now XD they should form an 'awesome forgotten characters’ club!

Speaking of Hinami though, SPOILER but apparently she’s going to meet Akira soon.

Yeah, the only realy Hamilton AU we could achieve with TG is one where characters are forced into roles that don’t necessarily fit their personalities and therefore changes the outcome of the story (which could actually be a good thing; for example, if we cast Amon as Hamilton Say No To This would never happen).

But wait (lol). Doesn’t Urie actually fit much better with Burr?

In that case, it doesn’t matter who we cast. Urie-Burr would probably make the exact same mistakes as Musical!Burr did (if we’re talking about pre-character development Urie).

Well, to make up for Hide’s second death (who am I kidding nothing could make up for that) you now have the mental image of Tsukiyama rapping Guns and Ships at Yoshimura-Washington (or Shinohara-Washington).

And Koma like

“THE DEVIL APE A BARISTA SPYING ON THE CCG I TAKE THEIR COFFEE ORDERS, INFORMATION, AND THEN I SMUGGLE IT UP TO KANEKI’S REVOLUTIONARY COVENANT I’M RUNNING WITH THE GHOULS OF LIBERTY AND I AM LOVIN’ IT SEE, THAT’S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU’RE UP AGAINST THE RUFFIANS WE IN THE SHIT NOW, SOMEBODY’S GOTTA SHOVEL IT ENJI KOMA, I NEED NO INTRODUCTION WHEN YOU KNOCK ME DOWN, I GET THE FUCK BACK UP AGAIN”

(I could probably have made it rhyme/fit in with the actual lyrics if I wanted to but unfortunately I’m too lazy OTL maybe some other time

Also fun fact if you didn’t get to that point in the manga: Kaneki does have his own 'ghouls of liberty’ now)

As for Furuta, I think he’s probably going to get a tragic backstory too- everyone in TG gets the angst treatment. Ishida’s probably going to expand on his daddy issues. Also, there’s that one birthday poem Ishida wrote for him that strongly implies he’s suicidal/places little value on his own life, plus the fact that we can already assume he had a terrible childhood.

I’ve never heard of that anime but now you make me want to watch it…is it really worth a watch despite the 'wth’ elements? (Your Lie in April was the only exception I made for romance animes, but I’m willing to give anything a try as long as it’s got decent character development, is respectful with whatever themes it chooses to handle and doesn’t have too much fanservice (because frankly I find anime fanservice more cringey than anything…I always feel so embarrassed for everyone involved when it happens XD)).

And oh, thanks for letting me know! :D I hope it wasn’t too weird of a request ^^;;

Thank you so much for the ‘ripped s/o’ request! :D I really liked it!

Like, maybe it’s just me but I think Viktor (once he got used to it) and/or Chris might actually think it was hot. Dunno, just, in VIktuuri I can see Viktor being the sub (plus it’s kinda obvious that he’s really, really into Eros!Yuuri) so I think he’d find the idea of his s/o being a powerhouse appealing…especially since they don’t look it outwardly (what with being so smol and cute). He’d probably be determined to 'unleash the beast’ lol

(or maybe it’s just my personal bias because while I don’t have much of a preference when it comes to figure I still think muscular women look great)

Yuuri would probably be very much in awe once he recovered from the shock.

As for JJ, I think once he stopped flailing around his reaction would be a mix of betrayal and slight jealousy- “Wait, so all those times I was totally not struggling to carry you bridal style, you could have told me there was a reason you’re so heavy! And also, did you just let me treat you like a fragile doll when you were actually (not) stronger than me all along? WERE YOU JUST STROKING MY EGO BABE NO

Also let’s go to the gym together as soon as possible because I cannot wait to kick your ass

Nobody is allowed to be stronger than the King JJ

Not even his girlfriend”

Then s/o picks him up, throws him over her shoulder and takes him to his bedroom like 'boi, you need to calm down’

Peek-a-boo!

“Nimura Furuta died this morning (if only). I need a favour.”

That seems so complicated >_< I think I’m gonna stick to trans!Mutsuki (referring with he/him), simply because I haven’t reached that part in the manga and am still in the ‘Mu is male’ mode. Yeee, I don’t wanna go into that part of the fandom, I get enough shit from the yoi fandom already. Gaah, it really is complicated. I mean, I’m open to any Mu and don’t quite care if he decides to be male/female or genderfluid or whatever. I just want everyone to be happy ;-; And that’ll never happen because we’re talking about TG here. No one can be happy. It’s simple impossible.

The only thing we need now is a Hamilton for Jean... Ye, I don’t quite think we’ll be getting one. Except for Eren, but that LEAVES ALL THE PROBLEMS WE’VE DISCUSSED. SHIT. I’d pay to see Jean singing Dear Theodosia. 

We can add Hide and Peggy to the club of forgotten characters along with Hinami (she is being forgotten it seems) and a few other characters I can’t think of right now XD

That’s the problem with TG. Most AUs are impossible, since the characters just don’t fit the roles nicely, they’re too grey to fit in. Gdi Ishida, you love making us suffer.

Oh yeah, Urie would be the best Burr! He’s a calculating character who’ll kinda suck ass to advance in positions. To think that this guy’s my favourite character along with Haise/Kaneki and Ayato...

I WANNA SEE TSUKIYAMA RAPPING HELL YEAH  HIS ACCENT WOULD MAKE IT SO MUCH BETTER LIKE, HED BE ABLE TO IMITATE LAFF SO WELL I AM CRYING HELP

You’ve seen my ‘I’ll manipulate everyone out’, didn’t you? That one fits evem worse than this, so shush.  I did reach that part, tho. One of the last things I remember is that hella sexy white suit Kaneki panel. I liked that one a lot ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Doesn’t everyone in TG basically have a tragical backstory, though? Like, name one (1) character who lived a nice and happy life without daddy issues suicidal stuff and so on.  There are none I can remember. Well, I guess you could say that Tsukiyama had a pretty nice childhood, but he’s pretty messed up now, so I don’t count him. 

Hmm, I think some people would be able to ignore them, but I’m pretty sure that you wouldn’t like the anime. I mean, it’s quite rushed with little character development and has sO MANY WTH MOMENTS, HE’S 15 FOR FUCKS SAKE, WHY DOES HE SLEEP NAKED WHY ARE THERE SO MANY INNUENDOS WHY DO THEY KISS IT LOOKS CREEPY WHYYYYY

No, don’t watch that anime. If you want to watch a romance anime that’s really good and has development, watch Kyoukai no Kanata. AND MAGI. AND HOUKAGO NO PLEIADES. I can always hit you up with anime suggestions if you need them *finger guns (and ships)*

Ooh, I like those additions so much! Would you mind if I added them to the actual post?

[mmoxie]

50 Character Questions For Karalonde

@memes4less​ asked me to do the whole darn ask meme for a character of mine that i like a lot, and it took some time, but

it happened, and i’m just, so incredibly sorry to mobile users if this somehow eats your dash

here’s a readmore tho

What is your OC’s favorite color? Yellow.

Does your OC collect anything? What do they collect? Curios and antiques from Elven history.

What kind of things is your OC allergic to? No allergies.

What kind of clothing does your OC wear? Very huge yellow cloak full of pockets is a must. Steel-toed boots, sweaters, comfortable all-weather pants. It takes a lot to get her into something elegant.

What is your OC’s first memory? Her mothers and mentors, the spooky old Ravens Grey, holding her hands and singing songs to her.

What’s your OC’s favorite animal? Least favorite? Karalonde gets along very well with corvids. They tend to recognize her as another corvid, like a very big crow or raven. On the flip-side, dogs don't trust her, and she doesn't trust them.

What element would your OC be? Sodium.

What is your OC’s theme song?

The Heavy - No Place For A Hero

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vhwDxNqWtxk

Do you have a faceclaim / voiceclaim for your OC? Nah.

What deadly sin would best represent your OC? This one's a toss-up. I'm going to go with Pride though, because she's sure of herself to a tragic fault. Believing without question that she's making the right decision, because she's Karalonde, so of course she's right, has been her downfall more than once.

What are your OC’s hobbies? She used to play guitar. Hasn't picked it up again since she lost her eyes, but she could.

How patient is your OC? How hot-headed are they? She's patient until she's not. Dynamite with a really, really long fuse is still dynamite. When she's angry, she's Category Five Angry.

What is your OC’s gender / sexuality / race / species / etc.? She's a night elf, a trans woman, and a lesbian.

What foods does your OC like to eat? What are their least favorite foods? She's a total disaster about modern food. Absolutely spoiled by the world of greasy and salty and deep-fried. But she's got a soft spot for kimchi, which she grew up on, and likes her meat rare.

If your OC could have any pet, what would they choose? Why? A corvid of some kind. She's always had an affinity for them due to her upbringing. Whenever she encounters one in the wild, she has a way of approaching them that makes her seem to be a Very Large Raven, rather than a different creature altogether.

What does your OC smell like? Boot polish.

How do they make a living? What kind of job do they want / not want? What is their dream job? What do they think of their current job? Karalonde found and sold a great deal of her belongings from half an eternity ago in order to build a large savings. Large enough that she can coast on it for basically as long as she wants, as long as she lives simply- which she prefers. Most days, she takes a boat to the Broken Shore and participates in holding the line there, helping to keep the demons from advancing any closer to the mainland. Her dream job requires that the war be over. She wants to go back to being a public servant. Maybe the mayor of a small town, or some other low-caliber politician. She considers her current "job" a necessary service, but it places her uncomfortably close to the Illidari.

What are your OC’s greatest fears? Weaknesses? Strengths? Karalonde fears failure to the point of outright "you didn't win" levels of denial. She also fears abandonment. She's absolutely awful at expressing herself, and this distances herself from would-be friends and romantic partners, and this is exacerbated by her vast ego, which insists that she can't be in the wrong for acting that way. She is, however, phenomenally physically strong, literally fireproof, and she can, on occasion, channel her inability to otherwise express herself into a passionate drive to protect the few people she can keep close to her- even if that means doing something as dangerous and oafish as picking a fight on their behalf.

What kind of music do they listen to? Do they have a favorite song? Karalonde likes things that sound like Spanish guitar. She also has a certain fondness for the powerful drums the Trolls use.

If they came from their world to ours (if not already in our’s) how would they react? What would they do? She's been traveling offworld for half an eternity, thanks to her career with the Illidari. If anything, she'd just be shocked to find out that the Earth isn't a smoldering husk. The next step after that would be to casually assimilate, never explaining her appearance or origins, pawning off her extremely valuable gold coins from Azeroth in exchange for fat stacks of cash. She'd miss out on a lot of our visual media due to her general eyelessness, but once she got the hang of things, she'd almost certainly end up a celebrity. Maybe even star in an action movie.

What personal problems/issues do they have? Pet peeves? Lack of decorum makes Karalonde very upset. She's got a strict sense of what's proper behavior, and she's not above delivering a hard slap to remind her close acquaintances to behave when she's around. She also has a stomach ulcer, and arthritis in her knees and hands. Her only pet peeves are all to do with communication- she hates when strangers interject with "their two coppers," and she'll often deny them outright if they ask to contribute. Likewise, she hates un-asked-for explanations, and will mock anyone providing one with "ah, look at the young scholar," or something to that effect.

What kind of student were they/would they be in high school? Horrible. Just the worst. Not even a disruption in class, just the kid who seems to always have better things to do than be there. Abysmal attendance record. Shows up whenever she wants. Gets into fights in the cafeteria pretty often over basically nothing. Steals little things all the time. --Librarian's pet, though. If she's not in class, she can be found there, helping stock returns and organize the shelves, holding surprisingly mature and serious conversations with the librarian about her future.

What is a random fact about your OC? At least once in her life, Kara has- just like a dog- chased after and eaten a bee. With the consequences you'd expect.

What is their outlook on life? What is their philosophy / what do they think in general about living? Kara is a firm believer in "all the fake things, all the bullshit, all the wishy-washy myths and mysteries." Every cryptid is real, every mystery has its fantastical conclusion, every conspiracy is worth investigation. She insists that it's the fake things- "the things we invent, because we like the sound of them" that contribute a newfound value to the dirt and grass and trees. Every ritual, she believes, is a total fabrication- an invention that, by virtue of our commitment to it, achieves its function. The only "fake thing" she questions is the Holy Light, because she finds it uncomfortably godless. "Where in the hell is their deity," she's asked more than once, "how in blazes did they reckon on just -light?-" The truth of that is, she just finds it unimaginative- lacking the spark of imagination that comes with grander rituals and other "fake things." But a world rich with fake things is a world she wants to protect. She's invented a great many, herself, ascribing value to trinkets and places and even articles of clothing. She'd save the world just for the sake of the value she finds in an idea. Even a really silly idea. Especially a really silly idea.

What inspired you to create them / how did you create them? Were they originally a fancharacter? What was their personality / design like when you first made them? In a lot of ways, Kara is wish fulfillment. She's beautiful, she's strong, she's capable. But in other ways, she's constantly failing, She's a lapsed Illidari who broke the bond with her demon because the two of them fell in love, for goodness' sake. Talk about taboo on top of taboo. She's wrong about most everything, but she believes so hard and so sincerely- and again, that's wish fulfillment. I wish I could believe like Karalonde believes. She's only a fan character in the sense that she's not built out of My Original Lore, but really, there's only so much structure that Blizzard offers to characters, so they end up 1% Blizz, 99% Your Effort. She's always been kind of the same, ever since I made her, but she's changed in subtle ways- being more indulgent, telling more jokes, opening up little by little, learning to care about others again. Her journey's gradual, and she's got a long way to go.

Who is the most important person in their life? Why? Who is the least important to them (that still has an impact and why? It's hard to say. Kara makes herself into a mother figure accidentally, all the time. She ends up attached to someone and worries about them, and next thing she knows, she's rushing to protect them. But there are a few- a very select, very distinct few- who she sees the "makings of greatness" in. And yes, John Silver from Treasure Planet went into the pot, when I was making up Karalonde for the first time. She fixates on these people- often slow-witted but sincere, brave but prone to accidents, full of self-doubt but in possession of great ambition- and she dotes on them. She provides what she can for them, even if it's just providing encouragement. She wants them to succeed, because she's already lost the war, as far as she can tell- but they don't have to. They could win it. To contrast, boastful warriors who go on and on about their conquests and victories, she considers fodder to be fed to the Legion. Let them go and die, if that's what they want, because they don't have or make any fake things to enrich this world.

What kind of childhood did your character have? A very strange one. The Ravens Grey served as three different mother figures- One was tall and thin and very judgmental. One was hairy and squat and very slow to speak. The third was near-about the elven ideal, beautiful and youthful- but she had strange habits, drinking smoky concoctions and babbling prophecy. They each raised Karalonde in their own way, but also together, as a family. They taught her to be shrewd and clever, and never meaner than she had to be. To be tacit when it served her, and to make speeches when- and only when- they were called for. They molded her into an elf that could serve the woods, one of the finest politicians their village would ever see. None of them- not even the babbling prophet- expected that the woods would burn and Kara would find herself trapped in service to the Illidari. They were kind to her, but not coddling. They chose lessons over discipline. If she was going to scrape her knee, she was going to learn how to mend it. If she was going to throw a rock at the boy across the street, she was expected to explain why he deserved it, to their satisfaction. Otherwise, she'd get a lecture on when it's appropriate to throw rocks, and what rocks are the best kind to throw, and where you ought to throw a rock depending on how upset a person makes you. She grew up to be a woman who is very good at throwing rocks.

What kind of nervous habits do they have? Do they stim? Do they have any kinds of addictions? Her ears twitch when she's angry or overstimulated. When she's frustrated, she'll grab an old trinket out of her coat and polish it until it squeaks. She's not an alcoholic, but she's fonder of a cosmopolitan than the average elf. 

If they could choose their epitaph for their grave, what would they choose? [KARALONDE - BORN IN TIME IMMEMORIAL - DIED IN BED, BENEATH A DOZEN GOBLINS] She always was too friendly with the waitresses in the Bay.

Do they want to get married? Why or why not? Would they ever want kids? Do they have kids? Why? She considers marriage an "Eastern tradition," like worship of the Light, necromancy, and failing to maintain a functioning kingdom. That said, if she was proposed to, she might open up to the idea. Just for the sake of trying something new. As for kids, she's never had one. She was meant to have one- a child intended to be the next leader of her village- but it never came to fruition, due to the woods burning. As things stand, she may end up a godmother for one of her friends. She might like a child of her own, but she's not ready to settle down. Not even after all this time.

What is their most traumatic memory/experience? What is their favorite memory? She wasn't taken offworld by choice. She wanted to stay in the woods, hold the line, defend her village. She was dragged by the armpits through a portal, to go "fight them where they live." She's been bitter with Illidan and his ilk ever since, and it hurts her every day, to think back on what she was forced to leave behind. To contrast, her very favorite memory involves going to a quiet glade in Duskwood where the green dragons used to stay, and finally being able to touch the waters of a moonwell without them burning her skin. She was in the company of a young druid, who sang and kept her safe while she fretted and protested and doubted aloud until she finally found the courage to try. There was no greater relief than knowing that the mother moon recognized her again, even a little bit.

If they could have one thing in the world, what would it be? One thing? How big or small scale is this? Like... one article of clothing, or one concept? For the sake of a good answer, I'll choose concept and go with "a home." She hasn't had a place to call home since the woods burned, and she wants one very badly. So badly that she's willing to occupy old elven ruins that've been abandoned and start dressing them up again.

Would they ever kill someone? What would someone have to do to push them to kill someone? If they would kill someone, why? She "doesn't kill things of the good dirt that walk on two legs." This has to be broken down, a bit- "things of the good dirt" means creatures of all kinds who are made out of flesh and blood as a result of living somewhere. By this metric, demons are not things of the good dirt, largely. Many of them are composed of dark magic from the nether in their entirety- or they've been killed and remade so many times that nothing remains of what they once were, when they came up from their "good dirt." Then there's the matter of two legs- if it moves on four, it tends to qualify as prey. She considers herself an old creature of the woods, and as such a creature, she eats what she damn well pleases. These aren't hard rules, however. She'd eat a human or an orc or any such creature if she had to, and feel no moral or ethical dilemma whatsoever- she considers them to be "made of the same meat I am." If it's not a matter of eating or driving back the Legion to protect her home, then she absolutely will not kill. Maim, bludgeon, assault, she'll beat the daylights out of someone who crosses her- but she won't kill them. She, like the Ravens before her, would rather teach a lesson.

What social groups and activities does your character attend? What role do they like to play? What role do they actually play, usually? Kara isn't the life of the party, but she's an active participant. She's belligerent and traditional in a lot of ways, but she likes to laugh and she likes to have a good time, and she's got the good sense not to make a bad situation out of a good one- unless she's really, terribly bothered by something, in which case she'll raise hell. She doesn't belong to any clubs or organizations anymore, but she's casually trying to form some- a township in some abandoned ruins, for example- and she hands out yellow cloaks to match hers, to any lapsed, failed, or rejected Illidari in need.

How is your character’s imagination? Daydreaming a lot? Worried most of the time? Living in memories? She has a spectacular imagination, but it's limited by her perspective. Her ideas are fanciful and sometimes brilliant, but they have the same kind of old-fashioned charm that "old sci-fi" has compared to the sci-fi we're used to now. She doesn't worry, but she is prone to fantasizing- and she does do a great deal of living in memories, because she has an eternity of nostalgia to sift through.

What does your character want most? What do they need really badly, compulsively? What are they willing to do, to sacrifice, to obtain? She wants the war to end. She's tired of having to fight in it, she was never meant to. She doesn't have many compulsive needs, but she does like to fight more than the average elf. By a long shot. She's done sacrificing, though. She'll kick ass and take names all up and down the Legion front, but she's already given up her eyes, her home, her lover, her allegiances, her dignity, her glaives, her traditions, her family, her friends, her neighbors, and every last tree in the woods we now call Felwood. She's Fucking Tired Of Sacrifices And She's Going To Keep And Protect Everything Else That Exists Now, God Damn It.

What’s something that your character does, that other people don’t normally do? Bumps into walls. If it's not enchanted, she can't fucking see it. But she's too proud to use a cane or a dog, so she just struggles against the physical world because she needs to insist to herself that she's fine.

What would your character do with a million dollars? She already has a million dollars. She's chosen to live well within her means, do a job that satisfies her, and make meaningful personal connections.

What is in your characters refrigerator right now? On their bedroom floor? Nightstand? Garbage can? Fridge: Several stolen platters from New Years celebrations. Meat and cheese and vegetable dip trays from several different parties she wandered through. Also, a gallon of milk, a gallon of sweet tea, and a gallon of lemonade.

Bedroom floor: Gigantic heaps of treasure, stolen from everywhere. Rugs, quilts, piles of loose gold and silver trinkets, pottery and riches. It looks like the Cave of Wonders from Aladdin in there.

Nightstand: Flask of spring water from halfway up Hyjal. Gnomish audio recorder featuring a tape with instructions on how to read braille. Three other gnomish audio tapes are nearby, with instructions on how to use the Common alphabet, a recording of some very good guitar played by a pirate in the Bay, and a highly explicit tape, also bought in the Bay, which features very animated readings of a couple "steamy romance novels."

Garbage can: Empty soup cans, spent matches, various wrappers and shreds of wax paper.

Your character is getting ready for a night out. Where are they going? What do they wear? Who will they be with? You can count on somewhere expensive. Kara likes paying extra for something quiet and special and well-crafted, so fine dining suits her. Even if she eats with her hands. She was given a dress over Winter Veil, made of embersilk. It fits, and she likes to wear it out. Odds are, she'll go out with a friend- but if she had a choice, she'd get a celebrity on her arm. She'd love to stir up a controversy by being caught out at dinner with a world leader, like Tyrande or Sylvanas. Especially Sylvanas- she feels like they'd have a lot to talk about, in their long years.

What does your character do when they’re angry? Why? Pick fights. She's an extremely physical woman.

Does your character have any scars? Where did they get them from? S h i t l o a d s. Where do you think? She's been fighting the Legion for goodness knows how long. Longer than most.

What was the most offensive thing your character had ever said? "It's only a human. Wheel it off to a priest before it stinks, or eat it."

How does your character react/ accept criticism? ...It takes her a while. A long while. Usually something painful and humbling has to knock some sense into her before she'll accept a new idea.

If your character was given a slice of pineapple pizza and they HAD to eat it (or something bad would happen), how would they react? Do they even LIKE pineapple pizza? She fucking loves pineapple on pizza.

Your character is given a voodoo doll of themself. What do they do with it? Do they see if it actually works? Poke at it, then put it away. She believes very strongly in the sorcery of the Trolls, and she's not going to test her luck.

Can your character draw? What do they like to draw? Do they doodle? She can't draw. She also can't read, or see.

What were their parents like? How has that affected how they are as an adult? I feel like I already answered this one. The Ravens Grey were strange, confusing, but ultimately compassionate old witches whose methods carried both the danger and directness of the old trolls, and the dignity and decorum of the new elves. Kara, as an adult- having gone through so much- still tries to make herself like them. They were good to her. She appreciates how they raised her.

Does your character like candy? Do they get sugar rushes? What are they like when they get a rush? Candy makes her sick. She'd never eat enough to get a rush, she'd vomit. Hates the taste. Even chocolate.

If your character was presented with imminent and unavoidable death/fatality, how would they react? Would they try to avoid death anyways? Would they try to make their last days count? She'd embrace it with open arms. She's been waiting to die for a long time, and death simply hasn't come to her. She'd feel relief, in passing away. She'd get her affairs in order as best she could, distribute her wealth, talk to the people she wanted to talk to- Tyrande, Sylvanas, Boss Mida, Alexstrasza, Chromie, Shandris, and Varok Saurfang, in particular- and then call it quits. Take it easy, stay home and close to her loved ones, and just let herself finally die. An eternity is long enough to live. Let someone else handle the next one.