#there’s also top surgery scars and hearing aids!!!

[a-picrew-a-day]

TOON ME! ⟪ A ⟫

Link to the Picrew

Made by @hellosunnycore here on Tumblr!

[flashdoesahundredyarddash]

ermmm..? whiteboard doodles but I finally drew Halbarry in awhile!!!! (drew this just now....shoutout?)

thinking about them guys... i missed halbarry so much im so glad they're actually married whattt (spreading misinformation online)

[kiran-wears-science-blues]

of course the sims have just added dragon age items, including kirkwall tattoos, just after i was losing interest in my hawke and varric sims

so i guess back down the sims rabbit hole i go!

[saszor]

image description both in alt text and copied below!

another drawing of disabled* people hanging out chilling living life etc :-)

*technically the carer of the person in the pink wheelchair isn't disabled but carers are a part of the disabled people living life experience sometimes. so it counts 👍

previous drawings of this series

[1] [2] [3]

[image description copied from alt text: drawing of 13 characters on a blue background. on the left side is a fem-presenting Asian guy with spina bifida in a wheelchair. his wheelchair has a much higher footrest to accommodate his short legs. behind him is a man with cerebral palsy using crutches and an AFO. he is wearing a tank top showing his top surgery scars. he has an uneven smile and strabismus. behind them is a drawing from the chest up of a Brown fat man reading in his bed with a CPAP mask on. he's smiling and shuffling the pages of the book. in the center part of the image are three people holding hands with hearts above them. the one on the left is a Black girl in a blue skirt using a cane. she is smiling and looking to the side. the one in the center is a fat Black person wearing a matching pink top, leggings and knee brace. they have a large heart surgery scar going across their chest and a smaller one on their forehead. they are smiling and looking at the person they are holding hands with. that person is an agender person with albinism wearing a hat with a wide rim, sweater and jeans. ze also has a pair of sunglasses hanging on hir collar. hir eyes are unfocused and looking in opposite directions. ze is smiling. below them are two Deafblind people. they are talking using the Deafblind Manual, with one of them finger spelling on the other's palm. the character doing the signing has congenital rubella and cataracts. they are white and have gray hair, acne and a focused expression. the person they are signing to is a white woman with ginger hair. she is smiling and staring forward. she wears a hearing aid. on the top right of the image is a Black man in a large pink power wheelchair with a trach tube. he is sitting still with one eye visibly open. next to him is a white guy with a bottle in one hand and feeding tube in the other. there are speech bubbles with icons indicating 1 eye closed for "yes" and both eyes closed for "no". below them are three kids playing with plushies. the plushies are a crocodile, belonging to a Brown girl with a C-shaped scar on one side of her head, a purple cat with one of it's paws missing belonging to an East Asian girl with an upper limb difference, and a rat belonging to a white girl with intellectual disability and small, spread out eyes wearing a scoliosis brace. they all seem happy.]

[evilmoldywizard]

I think this might just be me needing more media with older queer people in it, but we are in desperate need of more transgender wizards (wizard as a gender-neutral term and can mean anyone, not just trans men).

Hear me out, centuries old trans character, being allowed to grey, and wrinkle as cis characters generally are, and able to live so many lifetimes helping others and understanding themselves.

Staff intricately carved with runes as a glamour or brewing ominously glowing and bubbling potions for their transition instead of hrt, runes and symbols that function similar to a trans pin adorning their robes in intricate silver or golden thread stitching. Tattoos across their skin of the stars and protection sigils covering over OR lining around to highlight top surgery scars, and living secluded in their forest tower tending to their garden, reading, aiding travellers and divining prophesies from the stars they commune with and just being allowed to wizard.

I think ofmd and wwdits have affected me a bit and now I crave more media with queer people that are not still incredibly young and in high school-mid 20s (not that there is anything wrong with that at all). It's just seeing that I may be able to get the chance to age as a trans person is amazing and I also want them to be silly and cast fireball too pleas

[angryducktimemachine]

Round Two of "when in doubt, doodle characters just kinda existing", OC edition. Oh we're mixing all the sources together here, Machuriel an old star wars oc, Friederick being a storm cleric with Jeremy as a Redemption-Paladin-Detective and ending with Kiesel, an Outer Wilds OC.

[ID: a digital drawing full of drawings in red pen on beige background of the artists OCs. Machuriel is shown in a profile drawing, they're a Diathim with curly hair in a bun. Friederick is a gnome with long dark hair, one drawing shows him from the shoulders up with a tired, absent smile and a nose bleed. Another shows him combing through his hair, he's shirtless and one can see his wavy tattoos on his left arm and peaking over his right shoulder, as well as a bite mark scar on his right shoulder and top surgery scars. Jeremy is a Halfling with dark, curly hair that is bleached at the tips and held back by a bunch of hair clips. He also has facial hair around his chin and jawline. He's looking thoughtful and pressing a finger to his chin. Kiesel is a Hearthian, wearing a hearing aid on their left ear and smiling, looking up at the viewer. /End ID]

[tortiefrancis]

♿️ ♾️ Happy disability pride month!!

[ ID: Digital, stylized artwork of five people and a cat sitting around the Disability flag, against a pastel blue background with pastel yellow stars doodled around. Above them is navy blue text that reads: "Feliz mês do orgulho PCD" (Translation: Happy disability pride month). The people, from left to right, are:

1) A thin woman with medium tone skin, dark brown eyes and a long, dark brown wolf cut with blue tips and spiky bangs. She wears dark makeup, earrings, a chocker, a cross necklace, a long sleeved mesh shirt, a dark tank top with the wheelchair symbol in the center, black shorts, a big, black belt with a chain on the side and a black boot. She has one amputated leg and uses blue crutches. She smiles, eyes half open.

2) A young child with dark tone skin, dark brown eyes and short, dark, curly hair. He wears a long sleeved green shirt with blue and yellow striped on the wrists, cyan pants and dark blue shoes with yellow lightning bolts. He holds a blue teddy bear with yellow ears. He has Treacher Collins Syndrome. He smiles.

3) A fat woman with light tone skin, green eyes and short, red-ish hair with a white streak. She wears glasses, a pink tank top, blue pants with white stars, light blue shoes and a medical bracelet. She has a cleft lip scar, a heart surgery scar, white patches on her skin due to piebaldism, and also moles. She smiles, doing a peace sign with one hand.

4) A thin man with light medium tone skin, sharp, brown eyes, a thin beard and medium length, wavy, green hair with a shaved side. He wears a black and white t-shirt with yellow stripes on the sleeves, black pants and red shoes, as well as two pins; an orange one with the schizophrenia symbol, and a red one with the autism symbol. He has scars on his wrists and a semicolon tattoo there as well. He smiled. Next to him is a gray and white cat with an "Emotional Support Animal" vest.

5) A thin person with pale skin, blue-ish eyes and a short, coily, white afro. They wear sunglasses, a white flower necklace, a blue, long sleeved shirt, a beige sweater vest and a long, brown skirt. They also wear hearing aids, which are beige. They have albinism and strabismus. They smile.

/End ID ]

🇵🇸 Digital Art Raffle . 🇵🇸 Sketch Commissions . 🇵🇸 Gaza Fundraisers . 🇨🇩 DRC Aid . 🇸🇩 Sudan Aid

[fickes]

hiiiiii

as a pre top surgery transmasc i adore your art so much. it makes me so happy and gives me hope that someday i too will be able to get top surgery!

okay so i like asking peoples personal experiences, so what were the most interesting things about getting ready for top surgery, the surgery itself or the recovery process in your eyes?

also how long did it take to get off of the binder after the surgery? thats the part i worry about the most bc i cant wear a binder bc my lungs are inept (affectionate) so i worry how thatll go but i mean itll be worth it obviously.

anyway whatever you are comfortable sharing about the surgery process, id love to hear it!!! have a great rest of your day

Thanks so much :) I'm answering this publicly in case other people find this information useful, but let me know if it's a problem and I'll take it down right away. Also feel free to message me with any follow-up questions.

I should let you know a lot of my comics are a bit dramatized for comedic purposes. I don't lie at all but sometimes I phrase things to be funny, not accurate ;)

Let's get into it - first of all, speaking as someone who needed top surgery but felt it was a pipe dream for soso long, I'll say a) it was well worth the wait and b) it wasn't nearly as hard as I expected it to be, both logistically and physically. I had the advantage that I live in a pretty liberal state in transgender law and financial aid, but the disadvantage of having a few medical conditions that I expected to make the surgery pretty hard on me (and that blocked me a little in terms of getting medical permission). If you live in the USA, I may have more specific legal guidelines for you if you want it.

In terms of the binder! I actually have a chest deformity that made wearing a binder extremely painful and probably damaging. I usually had to opt for sports bras etc., and this was a big concern for me, too, in terms of the binder that you have to wear after surgery. The vest the hospital gave me was problematic because it didn't fit me right and was causing a lot of pain. I'm not sure if my deformity had to do with it or not. But the point is: I told them the problem, and they gave me the option of just going out and buying Under Armour compression sportswear. This SAVED me, and it was FAR less painful than any binder or binder substitute I've ever worn. I could wear it 24/7 and barely even notice the pain, and it was only about $20 online. This is definitely worth asking about ahead of time to any potential surgeon. Even if this particular solution doesn't work for your case, they probably have others. There are a lot of us with bad lungs/ribs!

I was required to wear the compression shirt for 6 weeks. After that, I've chosen to continue wearing it on and off because I still have a little swelling. They expect that to be done by 6 months.

The worst parts were the vest (before I replaced it with the sportswear) and the drains. The worst part about the drains is they do hurt, and if the tubes shift at all you can feel it inside your body (BAD feeling). Unlike everything else, they were gradually hurting more the longer I had them. I got them out after a week, and after that recovery was no problemo at all. The drains are the hard part - I think most people agree with me on this one. Some people experience pain getting them removed, too, but for me it just felt a little weird.

The most interesting thing to me was the result itself. The wound, the bruising, the stitches, the glue, and the scars. Watching my own skin heal itself into a new shape was fascinating! I was allowed to change the dressing on day 2 and it was a pretty gruesome sight, but it also felt RIGHT. I was expecting a difficult adjustment. Even with the gender euphoria, a lot of trans people say they felt woozy or strange when they first saw the results. It can take a long time for your brain to adjust to your new shape. But for some reason, for me, it just immediately felt right. It's already hard to imagine my chest having ever been different.

[countjortula]

sims 4 near update:

- his last name is deathnote

- he lives in a bungalow

- he's super rich cause i used cheats

- he has hearing aids

- and top surgery scars because transmasc near is CANON

- he had a husband who then became a wife and then I killed her in the pool cause she pissed me off once

- I deleted the pool

- he cleaned up all his toys and I cried irl because it was so cute to me

- he has a computer room and it's where he spends all his time

- when he gets mad he shouts as a large dinosaur plush toy

- he works as a secret agent cause that's the closest thing to the spk I could think of

- he's really good at his job. bro is being promoted left and right.

- I should add mello and matt to the world and make them neighbours

- or matt could live in mello's basement

- his favourite music is classical and lullabies

- he set his kitchen on fire, extinguished it, ran out the house and cried on the street

- friends with an elder. he's friends with an elder.

- I want him to have a cat but I don't have the pets thingy so he can't have a little cat. or an army of cats.

- he has freckles!

- he also walks like a monster and has bad posture cause there's no way in hell he wouldn't do that irl

will update with more sims 4 near escapades later.

[gambieau]

facts about remy to better be explained at further times but necessary to know:

bilateral deafness, with profound loss on his left ear and mild loss on his right. happened due to medical complications during and after surgery. should wear his left-side hearing aid more often than he actually does, but he doesn't want people knowing he can't hear (exposure of a weakness? in this economy?)

auras and headaches, from his powers, from concussions, from the complications mentioned above. the auras are residual from his focal seizures as a child and teenager, fixed through surgery. quick to come and go, some flashes and a sensation of jamais vú that leave disoriented a minute or two. headaches can dehabilitate him for a day. again, only privy to people he really trusts, and even then.

got some digestive issues after victor creed dug his entire hand into his abdominal cavity. affected a few organs, but by now, most serious issues were solved. thick scar tissue on his left side, and it hurts parasomatically.

sees ghosts more often than he lets on, but if caught staring too much at a fixed spot — but seemingly present enough in his gaze — be sure he's seeing something you can't.

dissociates also more often than he lets on. mechanism from a childhood of unstable caretakers, poor conditions to live, abuse of all manners — it all left a mark. adrenaline keeps him from dissociating during missions or heists, but once it crashes, he disappears inside himself for a few hours.

not as friendly to the idea of being touched first as he makes it seem. reasons above, especially concerning abuse. let him iniate the touching instead.

biromantic asexual. flirting his way into being a sociable creature, but doesn't care about any sexual activity deep down. engages in it for a) partner's own pleasure, b) liberation of endorphins when he's bored. c) is dissociating or wants to dissociate, or simply forget himself. reminiscing behavior that doesn't quite go away, d) as an extension of the previous point, sorta — honeypot heists.

transgender. he/him. difficult relationship with needles makes monthly shots difficult. top surgery took longer to be done than he would've liked, but the last guy he allowed to touch him medically screwed him over.

an avid reader, of fiction and non-fiction alike. has a small trunk of books with his selected favorites.

the cats are his children. he will show pictures the moment he feels comfortable talking to you about them, and from there they won't stop coming.

[fanonical]

Hot off the presses - in a new Sims 4 patch released today, your sims can now wear hearing aids and glucose monitors, found in a new Medical Wearables section. There’s also top surgery scars and binders for male sims of either body type, as well as shapewear for all sims.

This is really cool! I hope the Sims team carries this energy forwards and creates new CAS options like this. Obviously these updates are things that would have been relatively easy to place into the game - it’s some accessories, scars, and outfits - but it would be great to see other options becoming available in later patches, such as prosthetic limbs or the ability to create sims missing limbs, more content specifically geared towards trans women and transfeminine sims, mobility aids like canes and wheelchairs, and similar! This is really encouraging to see, although it has taken a long time to get here, and I’d really like to push EA to make more of this sort of content, especially in free updates so diversity isn’t paywalled.

(Also they added light switches, which I am also excited about, but for different reasons.)

[dwobbitfromtheshire]

So I'm playing Sims 4. They updated so you can make your character Trans. They have top surgery scars and everything. They also have medical wearable like hearing aids. So I'm trying to make Hellcheerington, but unfortunately, the only thing that hasn't been updated yet is to add polyamory to the game. Shucks. So, if you guys want to make Trans Eddie or Trans Steve on Sims 4, it allows you to do it! I'm not sure if people know this or not.

[jazz-the-writer]

Mafia Clan Ties - Lee Know SKZ smut- NSFW

HI, so for some reason I can't stop with the Mafia ideas, I'm not used to this type of gangster writing, but, this my story and I decide how it goes. SO I basically had a thought when I saw the video of Minho talking about his scar and his surgery when he was younger and long story short that was the start of this inspiration. I'm not sure if this will have a second part, we'll see, anyway please enjoy reading.

Lee Know x Reader

themes: mentions of blood, mentions of violence, mentions of mafia affiliations, sexual themes, unprotected sex, mutual consent, mentions of death, mentions of gun violence, mentions of death threats.

also I don't speak nor can I write in Korean. in this fic

Italics in bold: means they're speaking in korean.

word count: 9,361

p.s sneak peek at something I have more of on my patreon, but I will share some of it at the end.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He kissed softly at the tender spot before his small whisper.

“Please don’t lie to me again, please, you’re mine…”

His declaration was more of a question when he said it in my ear, I felt a sting in my heart at the pain and doubt I caused, my hands went up to his hair and it was all I could do to keep him close.

“I’m always going to be yours Minho, no one’s gonna take me from you, I promise I won’t hurt you ever again” I couldn’t stop the hitch in my throat as it got harder to speak.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Why he brought me here I don’t know, I betrayed him, he’s hurt and it’s because of me. He was left in a vulnerable position right now nothing else matters except for helping him and stopping the bleeding. I ran back into the room, he was sat on the couch where I left him, how he was able to focus driving long enough to bring us to this cabin out in the middle of nowhere after a gun fight was beyond me. He said we’d be safe here and that no one else knew our location. My hands shook as I used the scissors from the first aid kit to open up his shirt, the holes in his shoulder and bicep were swollen and still bleeding, the blood had slowed some but if I didn’t stop it now he’d definitely pass out. Out of instinct or adrenaline I climbed on top of him and undid his belt to wrap it around his bicep above the wound and tightened it. His already blood soaked shirt served as better use to press against the wound higher up on his shoulder blade, he’d let out a painful groan and I felt horrible, I needed to use all my first aid knowledge to help him. I pressed against his wound with one hand and reached for the jacket I tossed aside to press on top of the shirt I couldn’t wrap his wounds till the bleeding stopped. We were both quiet in that moment, Minho’s slow and shaky breaths made the pain in my heart twist that much more, I wanted to vomit at the memory of lying to him the way I did. It was never my intention to let it go on as long as it did. I never intended to fall in love with him and string him along when he tried to get closer, all I ever did was push him away, and yet he stayed waiting patiently for me to be ready.

He didn’t deserve a snake like me, yet all I wanted right now was for him to hold me close like he had the night we spent talking together till I fell asleep on his chest. I could still hear the sound of his steady heartbeat lulling me to sleep and calming my nerves. The pure love he had for me was undeniable, and I was poison to him, maybe me being a snake is why I couldn’t ever bring myself to let him all the way in. The thought of being intimate with him was so tempting, but knowingly lying to him and feeding information to his enemies, even if he wanted to try to go further I couldn’t because it felt like a lie. Insincerity on my part because, even if it all started out innocently, I was only there in the end to pay off a debt to my crooked mafia friend.

“Why are you thinking so hard for?” His voice was small like he usually sounds when he speaks english with me, he always sounds more confident and commanding in Korean, only this time he was weak and tired and I wasn’t too sure if it was my guilt or not but he sounded so much more hurt. I couldn’t stop the tears from falling, how stupid I must look right now to him crying as if I had that privilege, the thought of looking him in the eyes was terrifying. How could I look this sweet, caring man in the eyes after I had committed such a betrayal of trust and to boot he saved my life and took two bullets for me. His cold and calloused hand reached for my cheek and thumbed at my tears, still he was so gentle and comforting, I couldn’t help myself when my muscles relaxed at his touch. The pressure I had on his wound needed to be focused on, but my face leaned into his other hand, his weak voice shushing me while I sobbed and looked away from him.

“Hey, it’s ok”

“No it’s not!” I cried out and when his face came into view of my blurry sight he looked so soft and warm with his hair covering his eyes. He had no hint of malice in his tone or his eyes, I couldn’t believe he was still so trusting, my breath hitched in my throat. I shifted my focus to his wound and checked it for more blood, apart from my jacket getting a little more blood on it, the belt and my pressure seemed to stop it so that I could wrap him up. I needed to patch him up to get away from him and avoid his soft gaze behind his messy hair. While I sniveled and cleaned up his wounds his hand fell from my face and stayed at my hip, his fingers twitching every now and then when he felt pain. I tried my best to clean him up and wrap his chest, he’d been covered in filth and I couldn’t leave him like that, before I could leave him I made a mix of warm water and soap to clean his skin around the thin wrap before I built the bandages up more. His eyes were closed and his hand stayed in the same spot on my hip, straddling him wasn’t ideal, sitting in his lap was the best course of action to clean him up while he sat on the small couch. His chest rose and fell softly and he seemed to have fallen asleep, I couldn’t avoid looking at his bare chest while washing him. He had so many scars from other parts of his life, my hands lingered around the center of his torso, just under his chest he had a slit of skin that scarred and resembled a knife wound. I wondered how it could have happened and without realizing it, I was in a daze as I kept brushing my fingers against it, his chest was steady and slow with his breathing.

“It’s a surgery scar from when I was a baby” I jumped at his voice, not responding to him, before continuing to wash his body. He was quiet again and the silence between us was killing me, so much time we had spent together and we had never been so quiet for so long, he always found something to ask about or mention and I couldn’t stop talking about anything and everything when I was nervous around him. Right now it wasn’t nerves, I was downright terrified, he saved my life more than once and I repay him by lying to him and stringing him along in a false relationship.

“It was real to me” my hand stopped on his shoulder, and the lump growing in my throat made it so hard to breathe, I swallowed with a dry throat before I spoke up. My thoughts were jumbled and making one coherent sentence was nearly impossible.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry-”

“I never meant-I didn’t want”

“You should have let me die”

"I couldn’t do that" his hand squeezed at my hip and I stayed silent hoping he’d let me just finish cleaning him up. His eyes bore into me and I felt his stare while I avoided it to focus on his body, that was when a dilema occurred to me, his lower half was still clad in his stiff blood soaked and filthy jeans. The dryness in my throat had gotten painful when I swallowed thickly again.

“I have to take your pants off Minho” he was quite and I looked to him for answers only to find his lips were turned up into a smirk while his eyes were closed. I whined out in frustration and groaned when I climbed off of him, gathering more soap and a bigger bowl for the mixture of water to wash him. My search continued to a room and I wondered if he had any extra clothes somewhere, this had to be something he thought of, he was a very smart man and his mafia brain always scared me. While I looked in the drawers I found a familiar pair of grey sweats and a black T-shirt, the cold metal and feeling of the gun had almost paralyzed me, instead of searching for more I took the clothes and left to finish undressing him and cleaning him up. He was still breathing and I was still panicking that I’d killed him, I’m sure he’s been shot before but it’s still worrisome when he looks so pale and vulnerable, I’m used to seeing him in a more commanding presence where he’s more vocal and not so small and quiet. I picked the scissors up again and cut at his jeans, only opening them did I realize that I would need to wash his back and climb on top of him again, it was just best to worry about what to do now and right now I needed to wash his blood stained skin. Try as I might though it was almost impossible to avoid noticing his toned body. Memories of our small moments together alone when he'd get too close or ask for one kiss and it would some how lead to one more touch or just one more kiss. I can say more than once he’s pulled me into his lap to kiss me or keep me closer for longer when I’d try to avoid him.

The more I thought about why I was still trying to avoid getting closer the more I wondered why he brought me here with him. I had nothing to contribute, no advantage to help him get out of this mess, on the contrary I caused this mess for him and here he was bleeding and helpless. After I had cleaned up his thighs and pulled his jeans out from under him I stood up and before I climbed on top of him I realized that I was just as filthy and covered in his blood. Instead of waking him from his sleep I just undressed myself and thanked god that I wore at least a tank top and there wasn’t too much of his blood on it. His face was just as filthy and the guilt I felt for not starting on his face made my stomach churn, after washing and wringing out the towel I was using, he was still sleeping. I had climbed on top of him again and after dipping the towel in the warm mixture to clean him up I turned to find him wide awake and staring at me. I froze in shock, he was half naked and so was I, his face was covered in sweat mixed with dirt and his lip was bleeding with a few other scrapes and bruises on his eye and cheek.

“I-didn’t want to get you dirty” my voice was small and he was silent and his starring felt like it was burning into my skin. A small whimper fell from my lips and my body jolted at the touch of his cold hands, they started at my thighs and slipped under my top to hold my waist, he pulled my hips down to press against his and my eyes widened while my jaw dropped at the feeling of his bulge pressing against me. In an attempt to contain the throbbing I felt pressed against him, I couldn’t tell if it was him or me but I wanted more than anything to buck against him, my mouth closed and my breathing turned shaky. My hand went up to wipe away the dirt, sweat and blood from his face while his hands kept me pressed to him and his eyes stayed trained on me. The difficulty of trying to concentrate while I could feel him against me was increasing and the fact that we had never been as close as this before had my mind spinning.

How could he be so calm?!

No matter how hard I tried to avoid it, the ache and warmth increasing between my thighs for him was getting harder to ignore, I prayed he couldn’t feel how wet I was getting. My hands were soft and I tried to make sure I applied the right amount of pressure to clean up his face. While trying my best to ignore the feeling of him pressing into my center I tried to make sure every spot on his face was clean. His hands surprised me when they squeezed at my sides and pulled my hips forward on him, forcing a loud gasp from me, he let out a deep sigh and his head was in my chest.

"please, let me" his voice was sounded so strained, something more desperate about it, I stayed silent and it wasn’t as if the thought hadn’t occurred to me. He’d been shot. How could I do this with him? The fear of him passing out or worse from being worked up is all I could think to process. I felt his tongue on my chest before I could answer and his hands slipped around to squeeze at my backside to rock me against him again. The noises I made in protest were ignored, I tried to make him see reason, his mouth was warm and wet on my chest while he started a slow and steady rhythm of my hips. Gathering what energy I could to focus more on his health, rather than the blissful feeling of him pressing against me so fervently, I reached up to his neck to pull his face from the mark he’s been sucking onto my collarbone. With a loud smack from his lips and the moan that I let slip was from the pain he stared up at me with dark pink lips while panting.

“Minho stop it, please, you’re hurt” I whined out to him when he brought my hips to rock on him once more.

“I’d feel better if you did it by yourself” his mouth turned up into a smirk.

“I’m being serious, you shouldn’t be getting worked up like this” I wanted to convince him and myself.

“I’m always worked up, you can make me feel better” he was laid back against the seat, his hands still cupping at me from behind.

“Please” he looked at me with innocent eyes, but his expression and posture was anything but innocent. If he kept pressing me down and moving me he’d be moving too much and wasting his energy. I couldn’t think properly, he was asking me to ride him.

“Minho. I can't- It’s embarrassing” I whined out and leaned forward to press my forehead against his and shut my eyes to avoid his gaze.

“You don’t like it?” He sounded so small and a little hurt at the assumption.

“That’s not it and you know it” I cried out.

“Y/n, please, you’re here in front of me. Right now with almost nothing on. I need to feel you, need to see you fall apart.” He was whispering to me, his lips so close, begging me to press myself against him to bring us both to bliss. The temptation was too much to bear, if he needed this I wanted it even more, my mouth found his in a desperate kiss while I whined and pressed down against him. He groaned softly in my mouth and swallowed the small whines and whimpers that left mine. My hips worked against him and I could feel how wet everything was. I never stopped kissing him, the thought of him staring at me while I rubbed myself against him was embarrassing, his lips felt so rough and tender. All I could think about was how warm everything was between my thighs and how heavy he felt against me. He squeezed at my skin, my arms went to his shoulders for leverage, I needed to feel more of him. His mouth pressed wet kisses to my chest, while I moved against him, the soft moans that he let out could be felt against my chest and it only made the sensation that much stronger. The fabric between us was so delicate and it was shameful to think of the wet spot I'd leave on him after. An embarrassing whine left my throat at the thought of him teasing me about it.

"you're so wet" my hips stuttered and my body shivered when I heard him speak his words in his soft spoken Korean, a small whimper left me while I tried to keep a steady pace rocking against him. His hands squeezed at my thighs and slid up again to grip my backside and encourage me to press harder against him with a low sigh. I wanted to please him, I needed him to cum too, my hips pressed into him at a slower and deeper pace. I couldn't help it when my body shuddered as I felt how stiff he was inside his boxers, the slowed movements allowed me to focus on his length, the delicate and thin fabric between us left nothing to the imagination. I did my best to keep my noises inside but when he’d bite at me and kiss at my skin I couldn’t help it when they escaped my throat. His mouth had been pressed against the center of my throat while he was sucking a dark mark into me, that’s when I heard him speak up, his lips were still against my throat before they left my skin with a loud smack.

“I want to be inside you, please” his fingers dug into my skin as I trembled and shook against him while still trying to help him finish. I tried to ignore his pleas while he continued to invade my senses and overwhelm me with his entire being.

“Please, baby I need to feel you” his voice was whiny he sounded so broken and desperate. I couldn’t help myself when I stopped to let my hands slide down between us, he watched me as I let him free, a shaky breath left him when I squeezed at him and gave his member a few tugs. I lifted myself slightly so that I could position myself above him, his fingers took over, his thumb brushed against the wet fabric of my panties. He tortured me with a long slow circle he rubbed into me, spreading the wet patch, his finger hooked onto the fabric and held it against my thigh. I lowered myself to feel him against me, both of us were anticipating this moment, we were so quiet. His small gasp matched my own whimper, as I teased us, the tip of his head rubbed against my wanting and dripping home for him. I let out a whiny moan at the feeling of him when I pushed down, his groan was desperate and broken as he huffed heavy pants against my chest. I was fully pressed to his hips, his length filling my need and want to feel full of him, it had gotten impossibly warmer, every touch from him left my skin clammy and burning.

“So soft and wet” the soft whimper he let out between his words made me squeeze tighter around him, forcing a high pitched gasp from his throat, his lips mouthed at my cheek pressing kisses to my jaw and at the corner of my mouth.

“Are you sure this-are you really okay?” Feeling him inside of me and the way he kissed me would usually have my head spinning and the desire would have overtaken me by now. When my hands touched at the gauze wrapped around his chest is how I was able to focus enough to still have concerns about doing this with him.

“Yes, I’m ok, you feel so good right now” his mouth never stopped kissing at my chest and his voice was muffled against my skin. He moaned against me as I pulsed around him again, he seemed so much more vocal like he usually is, I gasped after lifting my hips only to push him in again. He let out another groan and the way he couldn’t stop sounding so needy and whiny for everything I did only furthered the warmth stirring in my abdomen. His back was against the couch and he was looking up at me, his hand left my thigh and cupped at my neck and tilted my jaw down to face him. The wet sounds from between us while my hips never stopped his gaze had my chest burning in embarrassment causing me to hide my face in his neck. The new position felt closer and I couldn’t stop myself from moaning at the way he felt. His hands had found their way to my hips again as I heard him panting and moaning from my movement. The silence of the room that was so loud before had been replaced with our soft moans and groans for each other, his hands gripping at my skin, and his teeth biting on my shoulder. The soft feeling of his lips, and the harsh marks his teeth would leave, made me wonder what it would look like once he marked me the way he wanted. I couldn’t believe how hard I worked to avoid this, but knowing he knew the truth now, it felt right to connect with him so deeply this way.

“my beautiful shy girl” he hummed and I felt his warm hands under my shirt, one staying at my hip while his other hand massaged my breast. I could feel my pent up emotions building and the need to finally orgasm was becoming more and more frustrating. I reached a hand down between us and rubbed at myself, his hand at my hip pushed my own out of the way, and I felt his fingers press against the small bundle of nerves begging for attention. My hand found the one he had on my chest and I wanted him to stay there while I kept moving my hips. I gripped on his shoulder while I continued to ride him, his fingers rubbing slow circles into me, the look on his face was adorable and sexy still. His mouth was agape, panting and groaning, his nose scrunched up while he looked between us. I couldn’t help myself when my hand on his shoulder went to tilt his chin up so I could kiss him. When our lips touched a he let out a desperate whimper from his throat and he swallowed the small whine I let slip when I felt his warmth spread inside of me. He was so warm and everything he had to give me was inside and it made me shake above him with everything he did and his fingers still rubbing into me. I cried out his name as I pushed against him, keeping him deep inside of me while I bucked against his hips.

“Good girl, my good girl, you did so good” I was left a panting and whiny mess against him, his fingers were still rubbing at me, slower and softer and I could feel him spreading the warm sticky mess we’d made over my small bud.

“Minho, wait, I need to finish” The sensitive feeling of just having an orgasm was torture, everything was so sensitive and I could feel him inside of me still, he wasn’t stopping.

“Cum for me again, please” I couldn’t stop myself from whining out and feeling another orgasm crash through me while I still had him inside, he was limp and I lazily lifted my hips up, the loss of his warmth had made me sigh. I wished we could be this close for longer, but he still needed to have his back cleaned, my thighs were sore and where I had him connected to me ached. I tried to climb off of him to go clean myself up but his hands held me by my hips I could feel how wet his length was against my dripping center. He let out a warm and satisfied hum that gave me goosebumps.

“One more kiss, please” I smiled at his attempt to beg for another kiss, spent and tired I leaned in for a sloppy kiss, it was slow and sweet. His sinful tongue slipping inside to play with mine softly. His kisses were always so warm and made me want to do this all day and night. His mouth separated from mine in a soft smack.

“Ok you can go now” I huffed out a laugh at his words, before softly smacking his arm, attempting to walk on my weak knees. The soreness of my thighs had caused me to lose my balance as I grabbed at the arm of the couch. I felt a slap on my ass, that stopped me before I continued to try walking, turning around to find Minho laid back against his seat with a smirk on his face. The mess on his thighs had caused me to blush harder as I attempted to walk away to clean myself up. The image of his wet limp length against his boxers had made me wash the rag I used to clean myself up and walk out to clean him up as well. I walked out with the rag in hand only to find his member tucked in his shorts, and his face softer than before, it was somewhat panic inducing how calm he looked. After I made sure he was still breathing I continued to clean up his back. His face was pressed to my shoulder and I could hear his small grumbling noises, before he started kissing at my skin, it was more lazy and felt like him expressing his appreciation. I was perfectly fine with his soft kisses until I felt his teeth dig into the dip of my neck. His warm wet mouth pressing kisses to my neck, causing my breath to hitch, He let out a small growl in his throat as I felt him sucking and biting harder into the sore skin. My hands slid up to his hair, the sound of his breathing against me had gotten heavier, it was hard to know who was shaking against who. It was getting more difficult to breathe as I felt his teeth sink in and his soft moans causing me to tremble even more against him. I couldn’t stop myself from the noises I was making or the way I gripped at him. His fingers dug into the tender flesh of my back as I arched into him. All I could do was let my head fall back and allow him to painfully make his point. His teeth had felt even sharper, the force of him sucking and biting had me in a daze, and I couldn’t tell if he was marking me or taking a bite. My hands fell lower to his shoulders and I could feel his wound, He was in pain, it wasn’t just his arm that had been pierced. I had taken his heart and played with it, unintentionally, and yet it didn’t stop me from falling for him. My whines and moans were a mixture of pain and pleasure, I didn’t know I could enjoy something so animalistic, he was unforgiving. He left me in a heaving mess of broken gasps and panting out small pleas for him. He’d let a small whine out in the quiet room a loud smack disrupting the silence as he pulled away from me. Warmth that I couldn’t explain had felt like it had trickled down my front, when his mouth had left me, I could feel the soreness of the mark and the pain he’d felt with it. His tongue pressed flat to the spot and caused me to flinch. I felt a chill run through me as he felt over his teeth marks on me and let the tip of his tongue dip into the small divots. His breathing was heavy and all I could feel was how heavy he was panting against me. He kissed softly at the tender spot before his small whisper.

“Please don’t lie to me again, please, you’re mine…”

His declaration was more of a question when he said it in my ear, I felt a sting in my heart at the pain and doubt I caused, my hands went up to his hair and it was all I could do to keep him close.

“I’m always going to be yours Minho, no one’s gonna take me from you, I promise I won’t hurt you ever again” I couldn’t stop the hitch in my throat as it got harder to speak. His breathing slowed some and I could feel him relax into me again, his hands falling more limp around my waist. The paranoia of everything we had done is what made me stop breathing so I could hear his long and slow breaths. After cleaning him and dressing him the dark red tint around his mouth made me curious to see the mark he’d made. My eyes widened at the sight of his bite mark on my neck. The color was a dark red, mixed with hints of purple from him sucking on it, and had small splotches of blood where his teeth broke through my skin. I could feel the heat rise from my chest to my face as I felt over it. Goosebumps rising at the memory and chills running over my body. I cleaned myself up and it was a little embarrassing how much I enjoyed the sting of pain from being bitten so roughly. I had gathered what I could to make something for him to eat and hoped he’d wake up soon.

*****

For the past four days I had been panicking and worrying about the amount of times Minho and I had spent worshipping each others bodies. It was almost as if he’d been perfectly fine the next day when he went out to catch a few fish to cook. It was hard to remember how we ended up with him bending me over the table, only to spend the rest of the morning with him ravishing my body, and leaving even more bruises. He’d finally listened to me and gone to a doctor, his wounds had started looking more red and irritated no matter how often I cleaned them, not to mention how many times I tried to remove some of the pieces of the bullet. We had almost run out of the antibacterial cream left in the kit. Out of anxiety or fear of when he’d return I just started cleaning everything. Not only had his wound been worrying me, but I couldn’t remember when I last had a period, the paranoia and stress of worrying about the moment we’d no longer be safe was nerve wracking. It had come to the point that I’d finally run out of almost everything to do and ended up spending the rest of daylight out at the wash basin behind the cabin. I had washed his blood stained shirt and my own clothes, since it was his cabin I was wearing his clothes, just before I had thought about starting on the bed sheets I had heard a car door shut. The anxiety had caused me to flinch and rush inside to try to hide from whoever it was. The moment I made it in and tried to hide in the bathroom is when I saw Minho walk in through the door, before I could think to do anything else, I had ran to him and wrapped my arms around him. A small grunt left his mouth and I pulled away worrying I had hurt his bad shoulder.

“Are you ok? Did they know what happened?”

“It’s ok, I’m ok, don’t worry, we’re in clan neutral territory. Most of the civilians here don’t have ties to the clans”

“Do I need to do anything for you?” It was an innocent question and I was sincere in my intentions to take care of him till he was completely healed up.

“Doc said I’m gonna need sponge baths till the skin heals closed” his tone had a light air to it, but the way his hands held my hips felt more mischievous, his next words were spoken in a lower tone. “You can help me with those right?”

I needed to figure out a way to distract him before he started up again, with the touching and the kissing, and the ability to make me forget everything. “I’ll help, but we need to figure out the situation with the food and everything, I’m hungry, what are we supposed to do?”

“I brought some things, that’s why I took so much longer. Want to help bring them in?”

It was almost instinctual when I rushed out the door to get the things down. The entire trunk and back seat was covered in grocery bags and I wondered really then how long it would take for us to get back to our normal lives, could we? Warm arms embraced me from behind in a soft hug with a small nudge of his head on my shoulder.

“Are we ever going to be able to go back to normal?” I didn’t intend for it to sound so desperate or whiny, but it was a strange moment to feel that way, it felt like all I had known was gone. I definitely didn’t want him to think I didn’t want to be here with him. Minho was all I had now, but could I ever see my sister again? Would I put her in danger if I tried? Is she already in danger?

“Hey, calm down, I can hear you’re panicking.” He was soft and warm and mine. I needed to hide my face before I started crying, I made this mess, why was I being such a child about it ?

“I can’t calm down Minho, my sister has been alone for the past five days and I can’t even tell her where I am and don’t even know if she’s still safe, how can I protect her when I’m here with you!?” I tried to wriggle out of his grip, but he stayed firm and held me to his warmth.

“I have someone watching her, don’t worry, do you want to talk to her?” The thought of having to explain everything to her was nauseating, but would I even have the time?

“For how long?” He sighed at my question and I felt my body crumble against him in defeat. The noise that left my throat was inhuman and I hid my face in his chest again.

“I can fix it, but it’s going to take time, do you think you can wait longer knowing she’s safe?”

“Of course I can wait Minho, I just feel useless…and selfish” I pulled away from him and continued my path to the car.

“Why are you selfish?”

I stopped with my hand on the door handle. “Because for the past five days I have been convincing myself that being here with you isn’t wrong, that it’s okay for me to feel happy and warm…” he was so quiet and I still couldn’t find the courage to look him in the eye or talk about this topic with him in any form. I was letting myself get carried away with how much he wanted to be close to me without any barriers or walls I’d put up to stop him.

“The night you found me, it was the first time they forced me to go to the location of the hit, they threatened to kill my sister if I didn’t do what they asked. Everything happened so slow and it was like they eased me into it…” I wanted him to stop me, but the fear in my voice and the way my breath trembled was met with his calm silence, leaving the air open for me to fill with my words.

“It started out with just me helping out someone who needed to pass his computer science course, he tried to make out with me one time, I ended up blackmailing him to pay me for the inconvenience. I never meant for it to end up the way it did, but I needed the money, I really needed the money.” The time we spent together before everything broke the 'reality' we were in was bitter sweet and left a warm metallic taste in my mouth. He'd met my little sister and she had opened up to him against my better judgement, she told him the entire agreement with our parents, she had explained how we ended up living together in Seoul and studying. I remember it had been getting difficult to actually get him to bring me close enough to his mafia circle and my own mafa 'friend' had cut me off due to not getting any results. The pain of remembering the week Minho had not only bought our groceries but he paid our rent and gave me extra money for other bills. I had cried in front of Minho out of frustration or desperation I wasn't expecting him to actually spend money on me and give me money. I felt guilty invited him over for dinner, surprisingly I enjoyed it more than I should’ve, and we spent the entire night cuddled together and watching horror movies.

"I never wanted to hurt you, but I couldn't let my sister get hurt, when I woke up in your room and you fed me and cleaned me up. I just wanted to disappear and run away. I didn’t think we’d start running into each other and I didn’t expect you to ask me out. By the time they caught me with you on our second date they had figured out who you were and used me again. I wanted out, but how was I supposed to get rid of them? Then you- you wanted to get closer and we were always around each other and my little sister and you cared for me I-I couldn’t-”

“I’m here, you’re okay” his warm voice was in my ear and a soft but firm embrace of his arms around my chest, pushing my back to his own chest, I could feel his deep breath and my hands curled up to hold his forearms against me. I couldn’t stop my breathing from getting so shaky and the sobs I let out had begun hurting so much I followed him to the floor of the forest we were in. He held me against him and wrapped me in his body as I sat between his thighs and laid against his chest. His steady heartbeat thumping against my back, he waited till the tears had stopped falling from my eyes, his hand turned my chin to him thumbing at my tearstained cheek and he pressed his forehead to mine. He was so calming and comforting, how could I believe he was the coldest most uncaring person, although his first impression was something I couldn’t avoid at the time. We were in an odd situation when we first met and him being cold and uncaring was reasonable since he didn’t know me. I was more of a nuisance at the time since I had been taken hostage by my supposed ‘partner’ at the location and he killed him out of retaliation. I had no idea about the small war waging against the two opposing clans and somehow we both ended up in the middle as pawns.

“Baby, I don’t want to make you feel bad, but there’s a few things in the car that might go bad if we stay out here longer” his words caused me to jolt up and at the sudden movement I nearly smacked his face with my hand, the surprise was how fast his reflexes were, could I honestly say his reaction time was surprising? His hand had reached out just before my own caused any harm and I welcomed the warm hold. His fingers laced with mine and brought my hand to his as he kissed at my skin from his spot in the dirt floor. He stood up in a calculated manner, body still close enough to warm mine, as he reached behind me to open the car door. We were quiet as we put the things away, it was almost peaceful, when I opened up one of the last bags my eyes widened at the sight of a few pregnancy tests and a few boxes of condoms along with different types of pads and liners.

"M-Minho, umm, did-wh-" it was a struggle for me to find the words, it was obvious why, to say I didn't know the consequences of our decisions was a lie. I didn't expect him to be so nonchalant about buying these products though. also how did he know my preference of brand on my period products, did he look in my bathroom drawers? he was quiet during my stuttering and then he smirked at me while getting closer.

"you don't think we got carried away?" I was panicked as he got closer, his lips grazing the still sore mark he made on my neck, He kissed at the tender skin of my neck before lifting me on the counter. I couldn't stop the small yelp from leaving my throat as he licked at the tender wound he'd made.

"as much as I love filling you up with everything I can give, I don't think you want to be a mother" his voice was soft and made me shiver. I could feel his warmth pressing against my own, the memory of how he felt inside when he filled me up, I wanted him one more time without any thoughts or protection. How he could make me feel this way drove me crazy. I had developed a craving for him and the thought of us needing to use protection if we were going to keep doing this was somewhat disappointing.

"please" my voice came out small and pitiful, it was obvious I wasn't paying attention to anything other than my body and his, his hips pressed into mine and my breathing was shallow. I could feel him pressing harder to my center.

"what are you doing to me?" his hands tugged at my sweats, the need to be close to each other was overwhelming, once my sweats came off I tugged open the button of his jeans. His fingers tugged at the cloth covering my wanting home for him and a whine left my mouth as he felt over how wet I had gotten. His fingers played with me while I played with him and brought him to full attention. His free hand tilted my head up as he neared me, his member slipped inside of me with a warm push, he swallowed the moan I let out when his lips pressed to mine. My hands held him close by his hips and his hands gripped at my backside, needy hips grinding against each other, he was panting as he tried to keep a steady pace. He had felt so warm, everything about the moment was desperate and needy, broken moans and whines were all that filled the room air. He was so warm I felt so close to him and I wanted to be this close always. The way he filled me and touched me, grabbing and squeezing, one of his hands stayed firm at my back while his other kept my mouth against his. In a mix of sloppy kisses and whispers of his love for me and mine for him his warm hand slid up the nape of my neck to tug at my hair softly. He had me at his mercy, I wanted to do everything he wanted, his hips never stopped as he kissed at my neck. My fingers dug into his shoulders as he mouthed at my tender skin, pulling louder whines from my throat in a mix of pain and pleasure, our bodies were so close. His hips slowed and his kisses got softer. I could feel the need I still had for him. I wanted him inside of me, all of him, my thighs were spread wide for him but when he slowed I wrapped my legs around to keep him in his spot.

''are you sure you want this?" his words hung in the air and he'd stopped moving. I could feel him throbbing against me and I couldn't help it as I felt myself clench around him. My hips squirmed against him, needing to feel the friction, if this was going to be the last time we could get away with this I wanted all of him.

"I want you inside me, please" He had let out a shaky breath, my words were breathless, and I was desperate to feel him. I needed him, it was terrifying to realize how much, I wanted and needed him in this moment. I couldn't stop the awkward squak that left me when he lifted me off the counter. My arms wrapped around his shoulders as he effortlessly walked me over to the table and laid me down.

"I want to watch you when it happens" His voice was soft and I let out a soft moan at his whisper. I was so deeply in love with this man, his hips started slow again while I spread my thighs for him, his warm hands slid up from my abdomen, under my shirt, to my chest. My own hands covered his, all I wanted was to feel him against me, I looked up at him through the haze of my sight. It took everything in me to make sure I could see him and he could see me. His bottom lip was between his teeth, hair almost covering his hooded eyes, as he stared at the way I reacted to him. I felt one of his hands slowly slide down to where we connected. His fingers pressed to the needy bud and my own fingers wrapped around his wrist to feel him. He felt warm and his fingers were making me tremble against him, I wanted him closer, He felt so far away from me and I was desperate and needy for everything.

"Minho, I want kisses" trying to sound coherent was impossible, this beautiful man was ravishing me and invading all my senses and thoughts with him, his eyes met mine at the sound of my plea. He leaned over me and his warm tongue slipped inside to coax my own to play with his. I could feel the shiver of my orgasm brim over as I whined in his mouth and kissed at him. Without warning I felt bliss take over as my legs wrapped around him and my body trembled against his. I struggled to keep my eyes on him as his hands pressed on the table at either side of my head, his hips stuttered against mine as I felt myself still pulsing around him, he let out a small moan and whine slip out with my name as I felt his warmth spread inside of me. My hands slid around him to bring him closer, his warmth filling me, he forced another shiver from me as I tightened my thighs around him. He was panting in the crook of my neck as he stayed hunched over me.

"I'm going to miss the way that feels" he panted out and I whined out as he brought himself up to face me. I shook my head and brought him closer to hide my face in his neck.

"I'm mad at myself for not having my birth control on me at all times." I whined out, causing him to chuckle at me.

"we need to be careful and this is not us being careful" he groaned and sighed before continuing. "I can't help myself with you, all that waiting made me so frustrated, I just want you more." he kissed at my cheek and then my arm as he pulled me away from him. I groaned at the sore and empty feeling when he slid out of me.

" you look so filled and dirty, my dirty girl" It was almost embarrassing to have him staring at my dripping center, I could feel his warmth seeping out of me, he told me he enjoyed seeing the mess he made with me. I sat up and the ache of laying on the table had stiffened my back. My face turned bright red as I looked down to see the mess seeping from me that had fallen on the kitchen floor. I covered my face in embarrassment and whined out his name.

" why didn't you tell me how messy it was?"

"cause I like it" he kissed at the top of my head and squeezed at my bottom.

"go shower, I can finish up in here" I obeyed him and went to clean myself, though it almost seemed in vain when he joined me in the shower. The sound of the shower curtain opening startled me, causing me to turn and see Minho's bare body, I was almost finished and felt somewhat exposed with my body covered in soap bubbles.

“Minho your bandages” I held my hand out to his chest as he stepped into the shower.

“You can change them for me” he whispers against my lips and a warm kiss under the water almost distracted me. I pushed him away and was relieved to see his bandage was still dry.

“You said you needed sponge baths still” he smirked at me almost in a devilish way.

“We can run a bath together” his voice was inviting and I couldn’t help myself. I had adjusted the shower and started filling the tub. He sat down and the tub was surprisingly wide enough to leave extra room for us. I didn’t want to fill it too much, just enough to wash him and then drain it to rinse him again. Once the water was up to his hip from his seated spot I got ready to wash his hair. His free arm wrapped around my hips and held me close to him as I straddled his thigh to lather his hair in water and shampoo. He was quiet and compliant with me, moving as I directed, he seemed to enjoy it more than anything else. I couldn’t help but stare at his pretty face, the way his head was tilted back with his eyes closed, he looked like a painting. My fingers massaged into his scalp as I washed his hair, he was like a little cat, a warm hum rumbling in his throat at the feeling. After it felt sufficiently clean I squeezed at his shoulder gently and brought him forward to me. I shifted to straddle him and picked up the cup we had been using in the shower, not wanting to risk contaminating his wound, I opened the faucet and let the water run. After filling the cup I gently rinsed his hair while being careful of his bandage. It was mesmerizing how compliant he was, moving where I wanted him, his skin was so beautiful it was hard to believe he was apart of the Mafia Lieutenant’s. I continued with the conditioner and he continued to be a soft compliant kitten, humming in comfort, the second rinse was just as careful.

“Do you want me to take off the bandage?” He opened his eyes slowly, smiled softly at me, before he placed his arms at the edge of the tub and let his head fall back again with his eyes shut. He seemed so tired and I can’t imagine picking me up helped him feel any better. I couldn’t believe I let it slip my mind when he did that. The wrap was new, Minho had leaned back and sat against the tub once it came off, after taking it off I placed it on the small stool we had next to the tub. His wounds looked so much better now, they were stitched closed, there was a coating of what looked like an ointment.

"can I wash it or did he tell you to leave it on ?" I stared at him and his face was unmoving, for someone who trusts so little people in his life he seemed to be so vulnerable in this moment, his eyes were shut with his head tilted back against the tub when he spoke up.

"He said to not irritate it for today, if it looks better tomorrow I can wash it" I continued with the task of washing his body and rubbed the soap in my hands. The more I tried to focus on washing him the more I couldn't help focusing on his reactions to me. He hummed and sighed softly as I spread the body wash over his other shoulder and neck, making sure to get behind his ears, then sliding down to spread it over his chest and wrapping my arms around his waist to bring him forward to wash his back. His body hunched over mine, hovering over the bite mark he had broken skin to make, I could feel his breath against my damp shoulder. His low hum caused a shiver to run down my spine as I rubbed at his back. He hadn't tried to coax me into doing anything more, I couldn't tell if I was disappointed or completely wrong for thinking it, he seemed to really enjoy the moment as it is. When I had gotten down to his hips my eyes widened when I saw him standing at attention again, ignoring it was impossible, I couldn't just skip washing it. My hands wrapped around him and I felt how warm and heavy he was in my hands. His breathing seemed more focused like he was trying to stop himself. I didn’t want to provoke him any more than he already was, just continued to wash him, and fill the tub with more water to rinse him again.

I couldn't stop the nagging in my head at the thought of my late period, given I have not kept track of it and I don't remember the last time I had it, the thought of possibly being pregnant after everything that has happened. The entire situation was enough to make me vomit alone, and adding the stress and worry of being pregnant, it was just something else to add to the list of unbelievable things. Could I really say it was unbelievable if I was making the conscious decision to ignore it in the moment? So much to worry and think about and as I wrapped his new bandage again Minho’s hand found mine. He gave me a look almost like he was asking a question.

"Minho, what happens if we might have made a mistake?" He was soft in the face and it always worries me with how calm he is. His warm hand caressing my face as he responded.

"it's your choice, not mine, I am here to be with you. Whatever you decide is what I want" I sighed and nuzzled into his hand, his warmth calming me, after I finish his wrap I brought him his underwear and helped him take his towel off.

“Do you want a shirt?” He looked so sleepy and shook his head, damp hair bouncing on his head, his hair covered his eyes. I smiled at him and continued to dress myself and put our towels away. He stayed sat at the edge of the bed and held a hand out to me. I took his hand and helped him maneuver himself to lay down. He had brought me to climb over him and I smiled at him with either hand at the side of his face. He smirked up at me and I couldn’t help the urge to leave a soft kiss to his mouth.

I love him, and how comforting he is, god what am I going to do about this?

“M’sleepy” he mumbled out and I laid on his side and nuzzled into his chest, his steady heart and breathing lulling me to sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

kay so, I am having a very umm strong mafia phase right now, and I have done this with Chan and Minho, for my Mafia Chan I will be making a second part. It is currently in my drafts and I am working on it.

p.s I might post a short like side story that I am working on and I will only show you a sneak peak to keep you interested. If you want to know more about it i have more on my

patreon @Jazz_The_Writer

anyway here's my little sneak peek.

Drunk Mafia Maid Service Chan short.

He was so needy and his hands gripped at me tighter while his tongue continued to violate me in the most sensual way I couldn't help the soft whines I let slip. His fingers dug into my thighs as I bucked into his, he tasted like liquor, he'd come home like this once before. He'd asked me to straddle his thigh and it felt thick, but I had a need to feel closer, he still felt so far away. He didn't usually go out drinking, unless he couldn't avoid it, and we never really spoke about the way he behaved when he did drink. The kiss was so needy and sloppy when I pulled away from him I shyly wiped away the string of saliva. He smirked up at me and I couldn't help it when my leg swung over and I straddled him. His eyes were glossy and looked up at me in awe and the blush I felt over my face made everything so much warmer. His warm hands pawed at my body, squeezing at my back side, feeling over my chest and then his fingers slipped up to wrap around my neck. He pulled me in for another warm and filthy kiss, his tongue continuing to play with me, his mouth swallowed the desperate whine I let out and I couldn't help it when my hips bucked against him again.

“there’s nothing to feel if you do that, baby girl I’m not the best at drunk sex” His words came out in a mumble, he sounded so cute when he was drunk, I was so used to seeing him calm and collected.

“I don’t care about what I’d be feeling, it doesn’t feel good cause my thighs aren’t wide enough and I need to feel you” we were so close, lips almost pressed to each other, it felt like we were the only two people in the world.

[ronqueesha]

Some weird Sarit Ramesh headcanons and thoughts, because I spent a lot of time at work today doing nothing but think about them.

One of the first modifications she made to herself was permanently removing the majority of her body hair. As Sarit grew into adulthood, she found her body hair to be a source of discomfort, a container of unpleasant smells, and a constant reminder of the crass humanity she wanted to distance herself from. Plus, it had a tendency to snag when sliding into skin-tight body suits worn underneath space suits.

Sarit almost removed her eyebrows and hair on top of her head as well. But later decided against it because they help her blend into crowds, which was a major boon when she found herself running from the law. Plus, her preferred hairstyle hides the unsightly scars from where the circuitry implanted beneath her skin connects with her brain. Sarit had to open her skull in a few places to make the components work, and her inexperience with brain surgery left a row of gnarly scars across her scalp.

She does not speak any other languages than the galactic standard everyone knows, which I guess is future-english with a lot of borrowed words. However, she is fluent in galactic standard sign language because her parents were worried Sarit's congenital hearing loss might become permanent. She is also an excellent coder, and can spend all day writing thousands of lines of perfect machine code.

Relatedly, she can, and has, turned off her hearing aid implant when immersing herself in her work and doesn't want to be distracted. Or when she's done listening to something uninteresting.

The circuits under her skin are standard consumer model circuit boards Sarit modified to function inside her body. She didn't bother removing the RGB lighting effects when she installed them. And she has indulged Cora Coe's request to make it flash rainbow colors on more than one occasion.

The longer she's with Andreja, the more her wife had grown accustomed to carrying Sarit around. Mostly because Andreja is worried about Sarit's damaged lungs failing her, and Andreja will do anything to prevent Sarit from replacing more of her body parts with machinery. So if she must carry Sarit around to prevent her from over-exerting herself and causing even more damage to her lungs, then so be it. It helps that there is a significant height and weight difference between them, so it's not a burden for Andreja whatsoever. Except on planets with high gravity, like Akila.

It's a very common sight in the Lodge to see Andreja carrying Sarit upstairs to their shared bedroom.

[thesims4blogger]

The Sims 4: New Game Patch (January 31st, 2023)

There’s a new Sims 4 update available for PC/Mac and Consoles. PC: 1.95.207.1030 / Mac: 1.95.207.1230 / Console: Version 1.69

Hello Simmers

Following hot on the heels of the last update we have another one for you, this time we are putting a bit of a focus on the console version of The Sims 4, streamlining some key interfaces for easier controller interaction. While you can use a mouse and keyboard on both PlayStation and Xbox versions of The Sims 4, most console Simmers love to sit back with a controller; these updates are a small part of a larger ongoing focus to improve the console experience for all.

We also continue to invite all console Simmers to give us your thoughts and feedback on playing The Sims 4 on PlayStation and Xbox (especially with a controller) over on Answers HQ, where we have had some excellent feedback so far that the team is reviewing.

Not playing on console? No problem, we have some new content and fixes for everyone in this update as well. So let’s kick things off and see what’s new.

What’s New?

We have so much new stuff with this release and we can’t wait to dive in and tell you all about it. We do want to make a quick note that while we have added quite a few new assets, these are purely visual and don’t add new gameplay functionality. Now, let’s get to the good stuff.

Medical Wearables

There’s a new Medical Wearables category under Body and Face Accessories in Create a Sim.

Select the Sims face and then select Accessories to find the Medical Wearables category that contains a new hearing aid for your Toddler or older Sims. This medical wearable comes in fifteen color variants, and can be assigned to your Sims right, left or both ears.

The Medical Wearables category can also be found by selecting the Sims body and then selecting the Body category. Here you can find Glucose Monitors for your Child and older Sims that can be added to your Sims right and left arm, and to your Sims lower abdomen on the right or left side as well.

Top Surgery Scar

Under the same Body category, all players can find a Body Scars category with an option for Teen and older male Sims (masculine or feminine frame) to add a Top Surgery Scar to their Sims.

Binders and Shapewear

With this update, players can find two new assets in Create a Sim. Under the Tanks, in the Tops category, you will find a Binder top asset for your Teen and older Sims. In the Underwear category for Bottoms, there is a new shapewear asset for your Sims as well!

Let there be Light Switches!

For our builders who have long desired to complete that perfect room, a new light switch is now available in Build Mode!

UI Placement comes to PlayStation

Previously, The Sims 4 on PlayStation required Simmers to calibrate their screen settings at a system level by going to the consoles Settings > Sound and Screen > Display Area Settings and configuring the display.

This option will continue to work but now, PlayStation Simmers will be able to adjust the UI placement. The wizard will run during the initial launch of The Sims 4 or can be manually initiated from Game Options > Other .

We still recommend you calibrate your Display Area Settings through your PlayStation settings.

Cursor Scaling

Simmers can now adjust the size of the cursor on both PlayStation and Xbox when displayed in virtual cursor mode on your controller, or while you are using a mouse and keyboard to play.

This additional level of customization allows you to have a larger cursor without needing to scale up all of the game UI. This should make it easier to see even when you’re kicking back, relaxing in your favorite seat looking at the TV screen across the room.

You can adjust the cursor size in game by going to Game Options > Accessibility.

Console Build Mode Improvements

Jumping into Build Mode will feel a little different… well OK, a lot different. Now the Catalog is opened by default and STAYS open as you grab items and interact with the lot. You no longer need to reopen the Catalog and re-navigate to the menu you were in every. single. time.

Regardless of which cursor mode you’re in, you can seamlessly interact with either the Catalog or lot, which aligns our console experience more closely to that on PC.

Console Build Mode Guidance System

If you are a new player or have the Guidance System enabled, the help you received from Emily in CAS and Live Mode will continue through to Build Mode. If you aren’t familiar with building, using the tools, or how to find the right looking object and place it exactly where you want it, Emily will be there to guide you around Build Mode to help you unleash your creativity.

Controls and Navigation Updates

While we have kept the ability to toggle control methods by tapping the Touch Pad on PlayStation or View button on Xbox, we have reduced the amount of times we switch between the two modes automatically.

Since we are talking about toggling the control methods, if you have the Controls Legend enabled in Game Options > Other, we now show a prompt for Toggle Cursor at the top. Not only that, next to the prompt is a little reminder of which control scheme you are currently using.

We have also added controller shortcuts to some dialogs and screens to help simplify and speed up navigating the game. These button prompts are displayed on supported screens and can be used where usually you would have a lot of scrolling to get to the Confirm or Cancel button.

Bug Fixes Base Game

Toddlers can do strange things sometimes, but bathing with their slippers on shouldn’t be one. Now their feet will get clean, just like the rest of them.

The Venue Info icon in the top left of your screen contains a lot of useful information but it doesn’t mean it should always display as new. Now the icon flair will only show when something is actually new.

Sims made through CAS Stories with Starting Funds ‘High’ should now get 30k Simoelons instead of the standard 20k for their household fund.

Sims love a good makeover, but when switching Styled Looks in CAS it’s taking it a bit far your Sim’s appearance changes, not just their outfits. Styled Looks will now update just the outfit your Sim is wearing and not make them a totally different Sim.

When adjusting the physical frame of your Sim while using Bantu Knots (yfHair_SDX019BantuKnots) or Two Strand Twist (ymHair_SDX019TwoStrandTwists) hairstyles, you will continue to see the Plumbob icon on the thumbnail as a reminder of the fantastic collaboration we did with DeeSims to bring those styles to everyone.

The goals during the Parenting Predicaments scenario will reflect a child Sim aging up to a teen after blowing out the birthday candles and progressing the scenario.

Child Sims getting at least a B grade average at school will be recognized for their achievements by progressing the Parenting Predicaments scenario objectives.

If your Sims reach level 5 in one of Sofia and Leonardo’s skills before the goal activates in the Parenting Predicaments scenario, it’ll be accurately marked as meeting the criteria.

Also related – teenagers have aspirations (apparently waking up before noon doesn’t count) but in the Parenting Predicaments scenario teens are able to complete the teenage aspirations goal.

Some say it’s a conspiracy, some say the aliens got fed up with the parents and just sent them home, others just think it was a bug. Either way, parents should no longer return midway through the Aliens Stole My Parents scenario when traveling off the lot and back again.

Stuck in the Shadow wasn’t intended to actually get you stuck…. Completing the Scenario should now complete once the goals have been achieved.

Emily likes to help Simmers get a head start, but it seems she was a little too eager and prevented Scenario goals from displaying in CAS if she hadn’t been seen previously. Now if you haven’t seen Emily yet, and start a new Scenario you will have your goals displayed so you can create the perfect household to take on the challenges ahead. Emily will be there if you need her later.

Seasoned Simmers who don’t need Emily’s help and choose to disable the Guidance System, in the Game Options, while in CAS will no longer run into an issue where you cannot create a Sim due to the options being inaccessible.

Merging Sims from the Gallery while Emily was guiding you through CAS will no longer prevent Emily from explaining the final parts of the CAS Guidance System.

Entering CAS from the Simology option will not prevent you from creating a Sim Story.

While using the Guidance System to customize your own Sim, Add New Sim will not be available until you have completed your Sim customization tutorial or opted out of the tips.

Some tips in Build Mode prevented you from accessing features like Bulldoze and Save to My Library; all the options are selectable again.

Sims with customized frames should have a full set of fingernails to pick from, including those from packs.

City Living

Being an Interior Decorator can be tough, it’s made even more difficult if you can’t get in. Sims picking up a gig at a penthouse will now be able to knock on the door and get in to work their style magic.

If there is one main thing you would expect Illuminating Pillars to do, it’s illuminate! Well we changed some bulbs, got shocked once or twice, checked the wiring and now they should be good to go.

Get Famous

After our previous update which brought a new look to Lessons and a bigger, easier to read layout, it unexpectedly caused long Lesson titles to extend beyond the boundaries of the box in some languages. The titles should now all fit in their designated spaces and be fully readable by all.

Eco Lifestyle

The Perfect Plumbob Ceiling Fan, Sandstorm Ceiling Fan, Dizzy Palms Ceiling Fan now all come with a power consumption rating.

High School Years

Sims wearing the yfAcc_NecklaceEP12Beaded_SolidRainbowLt necklace should no longer see it floating near them when zooming the camera. We must have forgotten to remove the levitation enchantment, sorry about that!

Paranormal

Sims making a living as a Paranormal Investigator and autonomously visiting San Myshuno often found that doors were missing from apartments unless you were in Walls Up view. Doors should now show up as expected. But are they really there? Someone should investigate! Spoooooky!

Bust the Dust

Dust and Dust Bunnies will show up after a reload, now where did I put that Dust Dandy Cordless Vacuum?

Outdoor Retreat

We learned a lesson and that lesson is that our lessons should have Titles. Outdoor Retreat should show up under Lessons as expected and no longer be a mystery category.

[hepbaestus]

Here's the man who shattered our souls with his lore; Fit!

As is obvious, there is some CC usage here with his prosthetic arm! Here's the link for it.

Similarly to Pac's, it doesn't look quite like Fit but I felt like if I'd stare at a picture of Fit for any longer than I already had done to get his likeness he'd suddenly appear behind me and scare me or something.

Fit's outfits were quite easy to choose as he's kinda basic in his outfit choices but his colour scheme is browns and black, a nod to his cubito. A few of the clothing choices have been inspired by items that we've seen Fit wear, like with the formal outfit, I believe it's similar to something that he's worn. The numerous tank tops are mainly because he's a floridian and I love stereotypes /j. The classic timberlands are there (and so are those dreadful sandals /lh).

If you look somewhat closely there are a couple of details that I've added like a hearing aid on his left side, top surgery scars and also a ring! Pac's also wearing a ring in his, just a different colour (I believe Fit's is the silver swatch whilst Pac's is the black)

The family also has a white cat with heterochromia, who we can all guess I named Madagio. He exists solely to torment Fit, but knowing my luck Fit's sim may be the one to interact with the cat most.