#there‘s nothing better than this

[tys-kitty]

Don‘t you guys just love it when a Herondale is one of the main characters and there‘s so much drama and miscommunication that you tend to forget what the real plot of the book is?

[differentluminaryllama]

me, upon seeing the trailer for Blood of Zeus season 2:

[caelisblade]

– FORGET ABOUT US | SYLUS

sylus is the god of death, the underworld, hell. as if that wasn‘t enough, he appears to be your husband whom you have forgotten. and as it turns out, there‘s even more to the story — and about you. 

wc; 5.3k

cw; a persephone and hades retelling (kind of), reader is not mc, n/sfw, unprotected s/ex, c/reampie, o/verstimulation, r/iding, a little bit greek mythology inspired, angsty ending

a/n: part of this story was inspired by a fic i read a long time ago. unfortunately, i don‘t remember who it was by, otherwise i‘d obviously give credits. 

something was wrong. 

you felt in your whole body, it felt like someone was watching you but looking around, you simply were unable to spot anybody. it was weird. 

this feeling didn’t leave for days on end. yet, the feeling of being watched, somehow, felt so familiar, too. oddly enough, you didn’t feel like you were in imminent danger. in fact, you felt safer – even slept better at night. 

“hello, sweetheart”, the lurker finally revealed himself. 

you shrieked in shock as someone suddenly stood before you, a gorgeous, strange man. 

“goodness, you scared me. do you normally approach women like this?”, you said, a breathy chuckle leaving you. 

“just the prettiest one. and you are the most gorgeous woman i have met in my entire life”, he replied, a gentle smile dancing around his lips. 

“uh huh… that’s interesting”, you laughed. “now, tell me, how did you even get into my home? isn’t that… creepy?”

“maybe it is, maybe it isn’t. i couldn’t care less. i’ve come to bring you home.”

“what do you mean? i am home”, you laughed, yet the confusion was incredibly evident in your face. 

“this place? no, y/n. this isn’t your home. well, it is for six months of the year but your real home… is someplace else. and i want you back there with me”, he explained, yet so much wasn’t cleared up still. who was he? how did he know your name? he seemed so comfortable just barging in here like… he was someone you had forgotten. 

“with you? you’re a total stranger to me. why would i go anywhere with you?” 

“because you know me. i’m sylus. you always knew me and you always will. yet, there is a bit of a hindrance between us – you always forget me until it’s time for me to bring you back. i promise, sweetheart. you know me. and i know you. better than anyone else in this world and every other world that exists”, he explained. “i swear, it all will make so much more sense once you come home with me.” 

it was weird, but… you felt like he was telling the truth. it was this feeling etched deeply within you, the trust you felt for this man was enchanting and before you even realized it, you were slowly stepping to him. 

“i don’t know why, but… i believe you. i don’t understand, but i do”, you softly said. 

“because deep down here”, he started, slowly closing the distance between you two and pointing at your heart, “you know i’m telling the truth.” 

a loud rumble echoed through your apartment, you looked around in panic as you felt yourself literally being sucked into the ground. “w-what’s going on?!”, you exclaimed, fear enveloping your body. 

“we’re going home, sweetheart”, he said with a chuckle and within the next second, just another blink of your eyes, you were someplace else. 

confused, you looked around, taking in your surroundings and noticing the gorgeous garden. flowers were one of your most favorite things in the world and you quickly went to the garden, taking a breather of the fresh flowers. 

“they’re not real, unfortunately. not a single living thing can survive down here”, sylus explained with a sad tone in his voice. 

“what do you mean with down here?”, you questioned. despite him saying that the flowers were not real, they sure as hell smelled real. 

“hell. hades. whatever you’d like to call it”, he said, shrugging. 

“you brought me to… hell?!”, you asked. “that’s what you called my true home? why would i…?” 

nothing made sense. you felt like, nothing would ever make sense to you right now, no matter how clear and understandable the explanation was. 

“i promise, i will explain everything to you”, sylus said once again. “come with me, sweetheart.” 

he raised his hand, holding it out with an inviting smile. and you took it, curious. 

sylus slowly took you around the area. “this is hell?”, you questioned, confused at how it looked all… normal. although the furniture was mostly in black and red, the area was still… giving a certain happy, exciting energy. it definitely didn’t feel like the burning, scary place you were always told the stories about. 

“well, it’s a part of it. hell is… not as bad as everyone pictures it. most souls finding their ways here are surprised as well – the burning in hell jab was never a thing. i don’t even know where that came from. yes, hell is a place in which you get punished for your wrongdoings. but… in a way, you punish yourself for those. you know that saying ‘your own personal hell’? that’s exactly how it is for the souls that come here. they relive sins over and over again, with the difference that they experience what they made others experience.” 

“that makes sense”, you concluded. 

“and being the god of death and the guardian of hell… of course, i’m going to live a lavish life, am i not?”, he laughed softly. “i can literally just snap with my finger…” a little snap with his fingers, and suddenly, a candle-lit table filled with your most favorite meals and dishes appeared in front of you. “and i will have it. this is my world, after all. well, i took over control of it once my brothers and i banished our parents, the titans, to tartarus.” 

“i’m so sorry to say this, but… this just feels so surreal. deep down, i know you’re telling the truth, yet some part of me is refusing to believe this is real”, you said. 

“as always, sweetheart. you’ll need some time to remember. but that’s okay, i promise”, he comforted you and gently nudged you to take a seat at the couch next to the candlelit dinner table. “take all the time you need, dearest.” 

he snapped with his fingers once again and a little plate with different fruits appeared on his hand. “here, eat a little. you must be starving”, he mumbled, taking a few pomegranate seeds and feeding them to you. 

“how did you know i like pomegranates?”, you asked. 

“i just do. like i said. i know everything about you. and you know everything about me. just give it another two days, maybe three. that’s usually how long i need to feed you pomegranates until you remember. it’s not my first rodeo of this, sweetheart. you’ll understand soon, i promise.” 

you nodded, still confused about everything before you just ate the seeds of the delicious pomegranate with excitement. and sylus watched you munch on the seeds so carelessly, so happily. he was so in love with you, his heart jumped as you licked over his fingertip to taste the delicious juice. 

“you’re so pretty”, he mumbled. “and so, so adorable. let’s see if i can make you remember me faster this time.” 

before you could ask why he kept on repeating that, you suddenly felt his hand on your chin, turning you around before he kissed you. your eyes widened in shock, but you felt yourself melt into it quite fast, eyes slowly fluttering shut and you started to kiss him back. he slowly buried his hand into your hair, his kiss intensifying with every moment. 

an image of this exact thing happening flashed before your eyes for a split second, before it vanished again. 

he broke off the kiss, breathless from how desperate, longing the kiss was. “i missed this in the past six months”, he mumbled softly. “i missed the way you feel against me, the way you taste. i’m going to make you remember everything. just keep on munching those pomegranate seeds, yeah? they always helped you remember.” 

“pomegranate seeds helped me remember? that’s… odd”, you commented, but didn’t complain because you loved them anyway. you grabbed the table with the fresh seeds and kept on eating them, happy about the sweet and sour taste of them. “they’re delicious.” 

“of course they are. i got them for you”, he laughed softly. “you get the best of everything. you deserve it all.” 

the first day spent in hell with sylus passes with you munching all the delicious food he snapped into reality for you and then slowly falling asleep in his arms. 

sylus stayed awake for the entire night. he watched you sleep so comfortably, a soft smile on your lips as you dreamt of various things. he couldn’t know what those things were, but they were beautiful dreams that he knew. that smile on your lips was one of the most beautiful things he had ever seen. 

slowly, with the comfort of having you in his arms once again, he fell asleep, for the first time in six months, so relaxed and happy. and he actually slept an entire night without being plagued by the memories he had with you before the curse happened. 

you woke up with a sigh, eyes finally opening and you stared right into sylus’ sleeping face. you couldn’t help but look at him, he looked so peaceful, and he was probably the most gorgeous man you had ever met in your entire life. 

“good morning”, sylus grumbled, eyes still closed, yet he was awake. “did you sleep well?” 

“mhm, surprisingly, considering i just spent the night in hell”, you joked, earning yourself a tickle attack from him. 

despite him being a stranger, you had no problem sleeping in the same bed as him. 

though, something has changed now. you were sure you remembered splits and bits of what he was talking — or more like, hinting — about. 

“i remember a few things, i think”, you mumbled. “it’s weird. i remember you and i kissing, every chance we got. i remember you and i sleeping in this bed like tonight. but i can’t remember what our relationship was. were we boyfriend and girlfriend? were we… married?”

“we were — or more like, still are — actually married”, sylus revealed. “we had the most lavish wedding known among every god in our history. you looked so gorgeous in your dress. i remember the night of our wedding day in its greatest detail, too.” a little smirk danced on his lips at that memory. 

“it was probably one of the longest nights we spent entangled in bed together. something i plan to reenact once you remember me”, he laughed softly, and that laugh intensified when he saw how shy you got when you heard that. “and then… followed the war. and the curse.” 

his tone got more serious once he got to that part of the story. 

“the titans – our parents – challenged us olympians. and we did our best to overthrow them, and finally did it. but before it was finally time and we had banished them to tartarus, my father put a curse on us. we are never able to be together as we wished to be. you disappear back to earth like clockwork around april. i will come and bring you back to me in winter. your mother gave me her blessing for it. i get to spend those six months with my wife. though, i have to make you remember every time anew. i have to make you fall back in love with me again. now, i finally figured out how to make you remember the easiest – pomegranate seeds do the trick best. i don’t know why and i can’t explain why, either. it just works.” 

you listen to him intently. he had such a calming storytelling voice. you loved listening to him. 

“i mean, after centuries of doing this, i should know how to make my wife fall in love with me every six months, don’t i?”, he chuckled, but there was no sort of emotion in his laugh. 

“is there no way of getting rid of this curse?”, you asked. he shook his head. 

“not that we know of. nothing we tried ever worked”, he replied. 

“i’m sorry”, you said, choking up on your sobs. “i’m sorry i have to make you feel this lonely for six months every time.” 

“shh, princess, it’s okay. i’m okay. and as long as you are okay, i will be okay.” 

you hugged him immediately, trying to bury your tears. it was clear he loved you and you could feel it by the way he embraced you as well. 

“i still don’t remember everything. but i’m willing to try, sylus. i swear. i want to remember everything. i want to remember you and me”, you whispered against his neck. 

“and you will. i will do anything in my power to help you remember me. and everything about us. like every year. and then we will spend the most amazing six months of our lives once again. you will forget about them but i will lock them in my memories like every year. and then we’ll meet again in six months. i will be yours forever. no matter how much it breaks my heart to know i have to make you fall in love with me again like clockwork.” 

he reached to the nightstand and grabbed a box. as he opened it, he revealed a ring. “this was our wedding ring, sweetheart. i keep it with me. can i put it back on your finger?”

you nodded, your eyes still shimmering from the tears you tried your best to contain as you held out your hand. he carefully slipped the ring onto your ring finger, smiling at you. 

“i love you. you don’t have to say it back. do it when you’re ready, pretty”, he whispered and kissed your forehead gently. 

you nodded only as you inspected the ring, the diamond etched into it shining brightly in the light of the room. “it’s beautiful. thank you, sy.” 

as you called him by your usual nickname, there was yet another memory unlocked. you saying this exact nickname before, sitting in this exact bed before. “i- i remember this exact thing. we did this before, didn’t we?”, you asked. “you give this ring back to me every year. how do you have the patience to wait for me every year, sy?”

“i don’t know. i just do. the thought of being reunited with you at some point gives me the energy to wait and be patient.”

“that must be so painful every time i just… disappear, right?”, you said, hugging him a little tighter. 

“it doesn’t matter. what matters is that you are with me again, sweetheart”, he replied. “i love you. i will love you forever with my immortal life. i don’t care that you will leave me every six months, even if it’s involuntary. i will get you back when i can and have you fall back in love with me every single time.” 

“you must be the most patient man on earth… well- in hell”, you joked, giggling. “this is so weird. i never pictured hell to look this… beautiful.”

“because this isn‘t the part of hell that‘s the horrible one. this is our home. that we built together. i never changed a thing about the furniture you chose.”

“me? choosing black and dark red furniture? i must‘ve been out of my mind”, you grumble. “are you sure?”

he laughed, his laugh so deep and the way you looked at him was the most adorable thing he saw in his life. as you looked at him questioning his sudden burst of laughter, he slowly stopped laughing and started explaining.

“it‘s funny because… you react like this every single year. and once you remember, you also remember why you chose these specific colors.”

“well, then let’s see what my reasons were for these abominations of color schemes”, you giggled and finally stood up from bed, stretching your body to get rid of the last bits of sleep still lingering in your body. 

“i‘m hungry. can you snap your fingers and make me breakfast?”, you yawned, turning back to face him. 

“why don‘t you try it yourself?”

“h-huh? myself?”, you ask, the previous confusion making its way back onto your face. “how am i supposed to-?” 

“just try. you are a goddess, sweetheart. you don‘t remember anything, but i do. i remember it all. just try”, he encouraged you, standing up to go behind you and he took your hand into his, entangling your fingers with his. “just think of the most lavish breakfast table a person could ever prepare. and focus only on that.”

you closed your eyes, picturing a table with your most favorite items to eat for breakfast and within the next second, that exact table appeared in front of you. 

“i did this?”, you asked, looking around and finally looking up to face him. “you‘re not playing around with me, are you?”

“no, of course i‘m not, sweetheart. go on, try making something appear without telling me what it is. go ahead”, he said, letting go of your hand. 

you closed your eyes as you tried to think of a bouquet of white roses and winced as you felt a stinging pain in your hand. you opened your eyes again to see that exact binding of white roses in your hand and dropped it as the thorns stabbed into your fingers. you watched a little bit of blood trail down your skin before it vanished just a second later. 

you looked at sylus who smiled at you proudly. “see? sweetheart, you are the queen of the underworld. you are my queen. you are the goddess of the dead, the underworld and nature. of course, you can do everything i can do, too.”

with that revelation of your true identity, it was like, everything that was locked in the smallest corner of your brain suddenly unlocked. you remembered everything. you remembered him kidnapping you many centuries ago. you remember eating six pomegranate seeds which is the reason you have to stay six months of the year in the underworld. 

you remember the first time you realized you genuinely loved him. 

and you remember the gruesome war. you remember the curse sylus’ father had put on you before he was banished to tartarus. 

“i remember”, you whisper. “i remember it all.” 

“what?”, sylus blurted out, as if in disbelief. 

“i remember everything. i remember the first time you brought me here. i remember how i fell in love with you. i remember how we got married before your father put the curse on me”, you said, eyes tearing up. 

he quickly grabbed your hands and intertwined your fingers. “i think this is the fastest i was able to make you remember”, he laughed, the brightest smile on his face. before you could do or say anything, he kissed you. it was the most intense, passionate and breathtaking kiss you ever shared before. 

your arms wrapped around his neck as he held you tight, and when he broke off the kiss, he didn’t go far away, his forehead pressed against yours. his red eyes bore into yours as you sobbed, tears rolling down your cheeks as he wiped them all off gently. 

“shh, don‘t cry, princess. there‘s nothing to cry about”, he whispered gently, planting a soft kiss on both of your cheeks, tasting the dried up tears on your soft skin. 

“sylus, i love you. i love you, i love you, i love you”, you repeated like a mantra, kissing him over and over again. “i love you. i’m so sorry for making you go through all of this every single year. let’s try to find a remedy, baby. i don’t ever want to see you in pain again.” 

“it’s okay. i promise. it’s okay. i will wait for you every single time”, he replied, hugging you tightly as he comforted you. “don’t cry, my love. don’t cry. let’s just spend these six months together… until it’s time again.” 

just a few more moments later, you slowly calmed down and just stood there in his arms. “i love you”, he whispered before he placed his fingers underneath your chin and lifted your head. “i can’t help but say it over and over again. i missed you so much, baby.” 

you gave no response – instead, you just kissed him, wrapping your arms around his neck once again, the kiss slowly turning from tiny, gentle pecks, into something more intense, passionate. 

“missed kissing you like this”, he whispered against your lips. “remember our wedding night?” 

your cheeks heated up and you wanted to turn your face around in embarrassment. “no, no, sweetheart, no need to get shy”, he whispered. “i want you to remember that night. because i swear to you, that is what i’m going to reenact once you give me your okay.” 

you felt something in your stomach turn, in the most positive way possible. the memories were now etched into your brain and although there were thousands of moments you spent with him. 

“sweetheart”, he grumbled, voice having an edge of desperation in it. “you drive me crazy.” 

he slowly leaned down to kiss down your neck, he was leaving soft bites over your skin and you shuddered, a feeling of sudden need surging through your body. “please”, you whined, not even knowing what you were asking for. 

“please, what, sweetheart?”, he grumbled against your neck. “you know i love to hear your words. you remember now. do it, then. tell me what you want.” 

“i want you”, you softly breathed out. “i want you to fuck me.”

“such a dirty mouth. i’ll never tire from hearing you say this, sweetheart”, he chuckled before he kissed you again, this time more desperate, slowly pushing you against the nearest wall and he lifted one of your legs to wrap it around his waist. “i’m going to fuck you so good, you’ll lose your damn mind, sweetie.” 

“i know you will”, you whispered softly with a grin. 

he was about to carry you back to bed before you stopped him. “take me up against the wall first”, you mumbled, cheeks heating up. “i don’t know why. i just want this. you can make love to me later.” 

he chuckled softly before he nodded. “as you wish, milady”, he said with a grin and pulled off your clothes with swift, quick movements. you were unable to move a single muscle, just watching him undress you and looking at you with a hungry gaze. 

he slowly let one of his hands trail down your body and you shivered. before you knew it, you felt his fingers slowly circle your clit. even with the tiniest touch, sparks shot through your body, eyes fluttering shut as the first smallest bits of pleasure coursed through your body. 

“ah- sylus”, you whined, softly. “i- i need more.” 

“you’ll get more, sweetheart. don’t you worry. i’ll take care of you.” 

he pushed a finger inside of you, making you moan softly. that sound was one of his favorite sounds on earth. “you’re so wet already. i bet you could take me without a problem, too.” 

“please, sy, fuck me”, you begged softly. “please.” 

he smirked, his red eyes watched your every move and reaction. “take my clothes off, then, sweetheart.” he pulled out his finger and licked it clean with a smirk. you quickly got to work, pulling off his shirt and the joggers he was wearing. 

“never in my life did i imagine the king of hell would wear joggers to sleep”, you laughed but he cut off that laugh rather quickly by wrapping his hand around your neck. 

“what’s so funny, sweetheart?”, he grunted with a smirk. “am i not just a person, too? can’t i wear joggers just because i’m the king of hell?” 

“of course, you can. i’m just joking around.” 

sylus was a rough man, especially in bed. after all, that was a requirement for being the king of hell, the person who rules over the people who passed and punish themselves for their sins, for their crimes. 

and he showed that roughness through his actions. because the moment he lifted your leg and wrapped your naked body around his body, slowly pushing in his cock inside of you, he was whipped yet again. he loved being buried in you, fucking you until you were a breathless, overstimulated, yet so beautiful mess. 

sylus increased his pace, bouncing you on his cock and making you cry out in pleasure. your body shook, tears slowly forming in your eyes and rolling down your cheeks as you felt your body convulse, a tight knot forming in your tummy. 

“i’m- i’m gonna cum!”, you whined. you shrieked when you felt your back on the bed, he suddenly had you thrown onto the bed. 

“can’t fuck you properly without laying you down on our bed”, he grunted, “need your legs around me, need you as close as possible to me.” 

he fucked you with passion, watching your face contort as the knot in your tummy snapped and you climaxed, back arching into him. you were feeling so great, too, the pleasure making your body tingle and you smiled in your post-orgasmic haze. 

“feels good, sweetie?”, he asked, brushing a strand out of your face. “you sure look like it feels absolutely amazing.” 

“it does. i feel so.. good”, you whispered, looking up at him with teary eyes. “i need you, sy. i need you more.” 

“and you’ll get it all, baby.” 

he was ravaging you in the best way possible – he had you buried in the many pillows on his – your shared – bed, fucking into you, your bodies both covered in sweat and dried up tears were coating your cheeks. 

“ah- sylus! slow down!”, you cried as overstimulation wrecked through your body, but everything in your body screamed that he shouldn’t stop or slow down. the way he was rutting into you like a man starved was turning you on beyond imagination. 

“no, no, no slowing down”, he grunted against your neck, delivering a particularly hard thrust into you, making you jolt up in surprise. “i’m going to fuck you and you’re going to take it all like my good girl.” 

“uh-huh”, you whimpered, nails scratching over his back and leaving all kinds of marks. they would heal in a short time, but sylus loved feeling the slight pain of your nails digging into his skin. 

your cries intensified when you felt his thumb circle over your clit, along with his relentless thrust into your weeping pussy. “come for me, baby. come for me”, he whispered into your ear, his deep voice sending a powerful shudder through your body and you ended up coming just a quick moment later, the post-orgasmic shocks going through your body. 

he held you tight, watching your face contort as your husband gently caressed your skin as he waited for you to calm down. “shh, princess, i’m here. i love you.” 

“i still can’t believe you do this every single year”, you whispered once you calmed down, placing your hand on his cheek. “i hate to break your heart like this.” 

“it’s out of your control, sweetheart. it’s okay. let’s not focus on that, right now. i just want to be buried in your sweet cunt and feel you as close as possible.” 

you laughed softly. “you’re impossible.” 

“you love it”, he smirked before he moved once again, watching your face contorted in pleasure and overstimulation. “you love me anyway.” 

“that i do. that i really do.” 

before you knew it, he turned you around so you were on top of him – he wanted you to watch you on top of him. “ride me, baby. take what you deserve”, he grunted. “let me watch you.” 

“you just want me to do all the work, don’t you? so lazy”, you giggled before you started to move up and down his cock, soft whines and moans escaping your throat. his hands were latched onto your hips, guiding your movements and leaned down, laying on top of him and peppered kisses over his neck. 

“i swear, your sweet pussy is going to kill me one day”, he groaned. “i’m so close, fuck.” 

“then come in me, sy. come in me”, you cried out, overstimulation making your thighs shake but you couldn’t find it in yourself to stop. you just needed to feel this, you needed to feel as close as possible to him. because you wanted to give him all the memories you could until the day you’d be gone again for six months and forget about him once more. 

“fuck, sweetheart”, he grunted into your ear. the noises he let out were like music – and you never wanted it to stop. “you take me so well. i’m so proud of you, baby.” 

sylus knew there was no way in hell he could hold back after feeling you wrapped around him after such a long time. so when you squeezed around his cock once again, close to your own high again, you felt the spurts of his cum burst into you, filling you up in the best way possible. 

he made it to his mission to make you finish again because even though his body was screaming for a break, he had to make you cum so he just guided your hips up and down his cock until you screamed his name and creamed around his cock again, the white ring of your mixed releases so visible on the base of his cock. 

“fuck, baby. i sometimes don’t know how i manage to wait six months to feel this again”, he groaned, keeping you on top of him as he softly brushed through your hair. your body was still buzzing from the constant highs and orgasms and you just lay on his chest, trying to calm yourself down. 

his gentle strokes through your hair, over your back made you so drowsy, sleepy from exhaustion. “i love you, sy.” 

“i love you, too, sweetheart.” 

six months passed with a blink of an eye. you spent most of the time eating all the foods you could think of and just spent the time walking around hell. it was ironically romantic, despite it being literal hell. you’d hold his hand, walk around with him as he showed you the river in the elysian fields, which was the river of happiness. 

he let you taste a little drop and you just felt like you were floating on air. 

you and him spent a lot of time entangled in bed, fucking each other’s brains out, making love, kissing and making out and you just… loved it all. 

the moment you realized that your memory started to blur and you had no idea where you were anymore, you quickly took off the ring on your finger and gave it back to him for safekeeping. 

“i’m so sorry, sy. i’m going to miss you. i love you”, you whispered before you disappeared without being able to hear his ‘i love you, too’. you were unable to watch his eyes tear up in pain, his heart breaking. you were back on earth, not remembering anything that had happened in the past six months. 

“see you in six months, sweetie”, he whispered, holding the ring tight in his hand and sylus cursed out his father for the pain he made his son experience every single time. 

sylus swore that he’d find a remedy one day, but he never was able to. 

until then, he’d spend his six months a year with you in your home and wait until it was time to bring you back home. despite the pain, he was happy he was able to spend time with you at all. 

he carefully placed the ring back into its box and smiled with teary eyes, starting the countdown of days until he’d see you again.

a/n: i really hope you enjoyed this! it was my first time writing after ages so i might be a bit rusty, so sorry about that. this one is one of my most favorite writings in a long time so i really hope you love it just as much as i do!

[siddyyyyyyyy]

You're Only Sixteen

wc: 4.7 K

summary: child soldier joins taskforce 141, part SIX; one, two, three, four, five; seven

warnings: violence, description of a panic attack, description of an injury, death, nightmares

a/n: this part is probably a little more chaotic, but I tried to make it make sense. next part is going to be the final one! Hope you enjoy it!

Once all geared up, it‘s time to jump into the vehicle and drive to your old camp. From time to time, you feel a burst of slight anxiousness and anticipation, recognising some specific places as you sit in the back of the truck beside Farah. You still have doubts in the back of your mind, quietly contemplating while taking in the surroundings.

Riley sits by Ghost in between his legs, tongue sticking out while getting small back rubs from his owner. She was imported later on as you got your equipments, now being on the mission with the rest. Farah‘s team is with another vehicle, creating a line of a total of four trucks.

»Building‘s in sight. Three armed guards at the entrance, two on the roof.«

Price informs as he looks through a pair of binoculares.

»They usually have more guards inside, also taking guard. Probably about four.«

You add, getting a brief nod back from Price as the rest takes the information in. He sits back on the passanger seat as one of Farah‘s men drive, stopping by an edge of a small cliff. The camp is about 1.5 miles away from your current position, taking a deep breath, you look at it from this perspective. It feels wrong to stand here, getting a brief feeling of getting into trouble before Ghost speaks up. He commands Riley to stick close to him, the dog staying by his left foot as he checks his rifle again.

You all pair up, being together with Farah and are now getting to a high and well hidden spot to set up your sniper rifles quickly. Ghost and Soap also make their way silently, making sure they don‘t get spotted by any of the guards as they approach the building. Gaz and Price are a few feet behind them, about to keep watch for them and the guards.

It seems to go as planned for now, being as calm as possible beside Farah. Rifles are set up and you lay flat on your stomach, looking through the lense of the gun to mark the positions of the guards, and informing the rest over the comms of the progress.

There are indeed more guards than what it looked like at first, actually being a little surprised about it. Usually, they had about four guards looking for any unwanted guests around the small base, trying to figure out why they have more today. Did the know about this? A secret tracker?

You check your clothes for any potential trackersor mics, but it‘s imppossible since you changed your clothes regurarly and would‘ve noticed it way earlier. Sighing out, you get back to watching the guards stands or walk around the ground.

»Getting paranoid?« You don‘t bother looking beside you to Farah as she is busy with some equipment, probably measuring some more stuff.

»Never.« There‘s no need for an honest response, being sarcastic about it even, which earns a small huff from your right. She glances towards you while you focus on watching the guards.

»Something that‘s got your attention, then?«

You answer with a small grunt, not seeing much but the guards being seemingly oblivious to your presence.

»Why don‘t they have comms? Do they all go around without even a walkie talkie?«

You ask yourself as you keep your eyes on one of the guards, him just standing stoicely as he stares at nothing in particular. Farah looks through her own pair of binoculares, also noticing it.

»This is even better. How did they manage to train children when they‘re so uncareful?«

She mumbles back rather thoughtfully, making you shift in your position a little.

»Fear. And I don‘t think they are this unorganised.«

You answer back, really just assuming, but having been there for almost ten years made you overhear and see things you probably shouldn‘t have. Gaz speaks through the comms, making you concentrate on the actual mission again.

»Bravo-6, at your sign.«

You and Farah settle on the guards at the roof top, taking the one on the left while Farah aims for the second one.

A sharp shot goes through the air and you follow, taking out the two guards on the top with your teammate with a scary accuracy. The remaining guard is alerted immediatly and go inside, probably about to inform the ones inside about the shooting.

Now it needs to be quick and even more efficient. You both make your way down to the building and take your hand gun out, on high alert now. Farah gets in front of you and you follow her, seeing Ghost and Soap already being inside the entry as they fight the last four gaurds to ground, being stealthy as they do so. Riley takes out the last guard on her own, biting at his neck until he becomes limp.

It‘s the first time you actually feel thankful for the camp. Thank any God up or down that they are stupid enough to not have any communications on them. Hopefully they don‘t have any alarms around as well. Not that you ever experienced one in your time of being there.

You two change positions with Price and Gaz, them going forward to join the other pair instead. It‘s getting closer and more real, you know it‘s about a few minutes before you join them and lead the way to the directors room. Sighing out softly, you take a hiding spot behind one of vehicles and watch, waiting for a sign to join them inside.

Ghost and Soap currently make their way fully inside, checking for anyone before they enter the security room to cut off the cameras. Soap makes some pictures for evidence, taking some photos of the entrance, making sure the small camera stays secured in one of his pant pockets.

They exchange a few words over the comms, listening intently while keeping a close eye on your surroundings. It seems like most of them seem to be training right now, and by the current time, it‘s very likely. It is convinient, being able to get in as the soldiers are distracted and the superiors train them or have some meaningless meetings.

After what felt like too intense moments of silence, Ghost speaks up, telling it‘s clear now that the cameras are cut off. Just in case, they import all the camera footage into an extra USB-stick before continuing. Riley stays by their side, sniffing at the air a bit.

Finally, the other pair and you can go in, forming your team whole again to get to the directors room. You have an uneasy feeling but ignore it, rolling your shoulders to release some tension. Once you got inside, the taskforce is already there just by the entrance, Price nodding to you. Without wasting any more time, you lead the way up the stairs, the rest following behind. You all sweep each floor, reaching the third and last one.

»Down the hallway, on the right. I think they‘re having a meeting since we didn‘t see any of them around.«

You briefly state before Price gets to the front again, making you stand behind one of the others. For some reason, you feel the need to be at Price‘s place, as if you should be the one to storm in. This is all too familiar. As if it happened before already. The room you‘re about to enter is full with your superiors and commanders, being still slightly intimidated by them.

But before you could say something, Price kicks the door down and storms down, pulling as soon as one of them draw their gun at him. Fortunately no one dares to draw their gun again as the rest of you storms in quickly, pointing your barrels at them.

The room is tense while Price shouts orders at them, the few old men in the room slowly moving as the follow his commands and get to the floor with their hands raised. You watch carefully, eyes flicking to each of them at the same time to make sure none of them try funny tricks.

It seems to be without any success as one of them – one of the younger ones – draws his gun at you, being frozen in place. The rest of the commanders seem even more surprised as they recognise you, Ghost covering you quicker than you could comprehend what‘s happening, and takes the threat down. He falls limp to the ground, the room filling with Riley‘s barking and growls at the men.

Before it gets too much, Price sends and Soap quickly put handcuffs on the remaining few men, taking them by their arms harshly to get them outside. You get informations from Farah and Alex that they are currently rescuing the rest of the children, getting more vehicles for them. You get orders to sweep the remaining hallways and rooms with Gaz for any children that were left out, leading the way again.

You sweep the third floor as the others go out of the building to get the enemies out and safely into a vehicle. The third floor seems to be clean, going down stairs to check for the other rooms in the second. Time moves fast and before you know it, you are both back in the first floor and continue the search. It seemed clean of children for now, being done with all the rooms and getting to where the K9‘s should be. An uncomfortable shiver runs down your spine and Gaz seems to sense it, glancing to you.

»You alrigh‘, Bane?« You exhale shakily and steady your rifle in your arms, hoping the dogs are caged in. With a small nod, you both move forward and Gaz follows you, being more alert.

You get the door open, trying to be as silent and careful as possible, but the dogs had sensed your scent already. They start to bark and you try to stay composed and calm, it not working as one of them charges at the barely open door. You flinch and try to move away as fast as possible, but the aggressive Rottweiler is faster and has way more anger. The dog catches your ankle in its teeth and roughly shakes his head, growling dangerously at you. Drool drips from its mouth, making the scene even more revolting.

Gaz acts quickly and shoots it down, taking you away from the door to close it before another one comes at your way. It all happened so fast, you couldn‘t even scream or fullly process what happens before it happened.

You take a step to lean against the wall, your mind reeling. It‘s difficult to from a straight thought, vision getting blurry while you attempt to examine your ankle. Your teammate is quick to be by your side, helping you stand upright with his arm under your shoulders. He says or asks something, but you can‘t hear him. You want to cry, but you don‘t want to show him that you‘re in pain.

He senses in how much fear and panic you are, cursing under his breath as he tries again.

»Bane! Can you hear me? You need to focus, can you look at me?«

You don‘t respond once again but you do look at him briefly. You look as pale as the wall behind you, breathing shallowy. There is a tightness in your throat and chest, and you are unsure of what to do. Gaz has never seen you this panicked before. Kyle is helpless for a moment too, before he tags you along the hallway, relieved you are both on the first floor right now and don‘t need to walk a lot.

He supports your weight and makes sure you don‘t put pressure on your injured ankle, blood trailing on the floor from your wound as you limp to the exit.

It feels surreal and you finally get why you‘ve been feeling so strange. All the time, you‘d been having some kind of déjà vu.

You don‘t know how or when you got to one of the vehicles, Soap quickly coming to you free side to support you. There are no medics in sight, but Farah quickly gets her med kit out. She hasn‘t seen your injury yet, but seeing you limping like that is enough to set her instincts flying. Alex tries to calm her down in some way, seeing how frantic her movements are.

They set you down to sit on the ground, Farah being by your side in no time and examines the bite wound briefly. She rolls your pants up just enough to take a better look at the bite, having no time to clean the blood as it‘s gushing from it. The procedure feels even more painful than the actual bite, but you sit through, a few grunts and winces escaping from you. The team gave you some space as she treats your, doing it as efficient and fast as possible.

The wound is finally wrapped up, but the pain seems to get worse by the second. It burns and stings, also feeling as if your ankle is getting squeezed by something really strong. You notice just then that your cheeks are wet, wiping at them to realise you cried either during the treatment or while Gaz carried you out. Either way, you still need a few moments to calm down.

Farah exhales and pulls you into a hug, your resolve finally breaking. All it took was a stupid dog biting your ankle and a strong embrace after stopping the bleeding.

You don‘t want to cry or show any signs of vulnerableness, but it‘s too late. Right now, you don‘t care if someone is laughing at you for crying or hugging Farah back, her words finally coming through.

»I‘ve got you, okay? It‘s done. I‘m here.«

She whispers while rubbing your back, feeling her heart clench at your sobs. Seeing those poor soldiers that she just escorted from their ‚training‘ and seeing you injured made herself crumble and wish she could undo any pain you‘re feeling right now.

Finally, the air seems to et easier through your nose and lungs, your grip on her loosening as your face is still burried in her shoulder. She doesn‘t let go though and waits until you‘ve calmed down completely. It takes a few deeper breaths for you to calm down, letting go of her eventually which makes her let go as well.

It‘s embarrassing now, wiping at your eyes and cheeks with trembling hands. Your ankle has now a dull ache, feeling a faint heartbeat that makes you uncomfortable once more.

Ghost tries to hold Riley back, not wanting for you to feel scared again or have another possible panic attack.

You hear a dog bark from a short distance, turning your head just to find Riley barking at something. It seems to be nothing, but it soon turns out that there are a group of unfamiliar vehicles approaching you. The trucks are dusty and dirty, probably not having been used for some time, but you recognise them. It doesn‘t take long for the rest to get who it is, quickly making sure the children are escorted safely before you make your way out of the area as well.

You scramble yourself back up on your feet, ignoring the stinging pain it gives you when you put pressure onto it. The other vehicles approach fast, the soldiers at the back pointing their guns at your group already and starting to fire.

Your team gathers quickly again, feeling how an arm is slung over you, before you are carried towards your own trucks, realising that Soap just swept you off your feet and slung you over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. You are seated back on one of the seats in the back beside him, seeing how he points his own gun to the enemies and starts firing.

»Giv‘ me a hand, kid?«

He shouts through the loud sounds of the firearms and the truck speeding off, needing to make sure you don‘t accidently fall out of it.

You don‘t think too much and reload your own rifle before starting to shoot after getting some position in which you won‘t fall out from. There‘s a small but noticable metallic thud that you hear, looking beside you to see a grenade laying between you and Soap. Without thinking, you grab it and throw it back, it exploding right before the vehicle of the enemies, which makes one of their tires to pop, and send the vehicle to crash.

One down.

»Good job, kid! Only two more to go.« Soap praises briefly before the next vehicle is in close enough range to fire at them, trying to aim for the driver. If only these stupid roads weren‘t so bumpy, you could actually land some decent shots. But they only seem to damage to windshield and not go straight through the glass, also getting annoyed at how bad the rest of the soldiers in the truck aim at you both.

With a low curse, you grab your own grenade and throw it to the vehicle in front of you, hoping it will do the same like the last one. It manages to hit the glass and punch right through it, exploding only a second after inside the vehicle. The driver is most likely done for and the truck loses its control, it flaming up as it drives off to the side and crashes.

There‘s not enough time to praise or express some proudness of your stragedy since the last vehicle seems to be the most stubborn one.

They seem to have some kind of machine gun that they point towards you, ducking quickly to avoid getting genuinely mauled by it.

»Drive faster, will ye! Why don‘t we have more explosives with us?!«

Soap curses at the driver which turns out to be Price at the drivers seat. He speaks through the comms to you, speeding up to full capacity to try and escape the enemy.

»We have ‘em! Use your eyes!«

The captains rough voice sounds through the comms and you are already searching for any of these things he just told you the truck has, just now seeing the case that looks useful. With quick hands, you muster the lid open and Soap is already pulling out a grenade launcher and pointing the heavy thing towads the other vehicle.

After two satisfying clicks, the machine gun the other team used is broken, now pointing at one of the wheels to get it down. It crashes down finally, some pathetic attempts of controlling the big vehicle are useless as it catches fire like the last one. You drive off the scene, being slightly startled of an explosion. The second truck you put down just exploded.

A stabbing pain catches your attention, looking dwn to your ankle again. Oh, right… you were bitten by big dog just a moment ago. The bandages around your ankle are still tight, some blood haven seeped through while you were defeating the last few enemies with Soap together.

The man beside you notices how you seem to be concerned about something and finally sits down normally besides you, even when it‘s still a little inconvinient at the back of the truck.

»Still achin‘?«

You pull your legs closer to yourself, trying to put it into an easy position.

»Dumb question, must be hell after fighting those guys.« He answers his own question at how careful you move. That raises Gaz‘s attention as he is in a vehicle with Farah and Alex, talking through the comms.

»How‘s Bane? Is the leg still on?« His voice goes through your earpieces, being forced to reply to it. You wouldn‘t want anyone worrying over you for no reason.

»It‘s there, in one piece. Could be worse.«

You answer back and sigh out exhausted, really wanting to just be somewhere safe and alone. This mission was really draining.

The rest of the drive was mostly silent, only hearing some brief comments from Your teammates as they talk among themselves from time to time. Once you arrrive at the base, you feel relieved. For most of the time you have been zoning out and thinking about other stuff, not sure how the rest will go on from now.

Soap helps you get out of from the truck, leaning against him to not put any weight on your injured ankle. Farah makes sure to get the bad guys out and into another vehicle to drive them to a cell, saving the interrogation for later.

Ghost keeps Riley close by, still careful not to let the K9 too close for your comfort. By now you feel much more calm and collected, even though everything still feels a little weird. Soap offers you to sit down but you decline, settling on using him as your support. He doesn‘t seem to have anything against it, his arm staying around your shoulders to make sure you don‘t fall or lose blance.

»What do you know about the dogs back there?« Price asks once he is back in front of you, getting the feeling that these couple of bastards hide something more.

You briefly explain what you know, it being the same things you told Ghost before. Their K9‘s having been ‚trained‘ to be more aggressive and bite everything that moves, not able to recognise what‘s actually a threat. The captian nods and processes the new information, hoping to finally get to the bottom of this soon enough to put them into their deserved cell. If not the Gulag even.

After finding out some more stuff, Farah gets to your team again, Alex taking some care of the people they are escorting to a temporary place to spend some nights in before they figure things out.

She sees you leaning against Soap, him having a supportive arm around your shoulder to give you a little more balance.

»Why are you standing here? Get inside and rest. You all know you‘re welcome here.« Farah scolds lightly as she sticks by your side and guides you both to a tent, telling some nurses what had happened for them to take care of you. Soap settles you down with a small frown before he gets back to the rest, petting Riley to have something to busy his hands with for now.

The nurses take good care of you, even offering you a small lollipop after the treatment. You accept it, noticing it‘s cherry flavoured. What a coincidence.

Your ankle had been bitten by the dog pretty hard, the way he shook his head had caused for your skin to have gone off quite a lot at the area he bit down. Luckily, you didn‘t bleed too much. The nurses told you to leave the bandage on and change it every night. It‘s obvious this will leave a messy scar, having gained another against your will.

The sweet flavour of the lollipop has helped with your thoughts though, staying seated on an extra bed while you quietly think to yourself. Finally, Price finds you and helps you up to leave back to your own base. Nikolai is already waiting by his helicopter, helping the others with the loading of your equipment. The sun is setting, it actually being almost nine in the evening by now. The mission had really taken a toll on you. Both emotionally and physically.

You get seated inside the helicopter, not being allowed with the loading this time. Riley gets a seperate transport again, meaning that Ghost won‘t need to restrain her from trotting over you happily while you‘re still clearly exhausted.

It‘s dark when they got finished with the task, settling inside afterwards. Once again, Soap settles beside you while Kyle takes a seat at your left side and the other two settle in front of you.

You don‘t bother putting your headset on though and straight up lean your head against Kyle‘s shoulder to relax in some kind of way. Nikolai puts on some music on once more, making sure it isn‘t as loud as the last time and flies you all back to your base.

After a short nap, you wake up to the rest talking among each other.

»Nik- we have plenty of MRE‘s in here, we don‘t need to stop by--«

You can hear Price argue as quietly as possible so not to wake you up, barely making out what they‘re saying at the moment.

A loud groan interrupts the captains voice, seemingly still not happy and stubborn to get his idea across. Soap mentions for you to put your headset back on, having a more amused look on his face. Once you wear it again, the rest notices and Nik lights up in excitement.

»Oh, awake? Do you know Mcdonald‘s? We should stop by and get us someting, don‘t you think so?«

»Who‘s McDonald‘s?« You ask back confused, still being slightly groggy from your short nap. Well, the nap that lasted almost an hour. A short silence follows after your confused question, while Price stands next to Nik in the cockpit, seemingly giving him puppy eyes to coax him into stopping by the fast food restaurant.

»No, Nik-« price gets interrupted again and the vehicle take a turn, making you a bit surprised.

»My heli, my rules.« Are the last words before he lands in a rather secluded area, not seeing anything beside darkness and a forest.

You can hear a mischivious laugh from the pilot before he gets off his seat and takes his wallet with him. Without any further discussion, Soap follows, having seemingly been on the same side as Nikolai. Price groans quietly but follows them to the fast food chain that shouldn‘t be too far off. »You do know this is going to the report?« He grumbles while walking beside him, soon being too far away to hear any of their bickering.

Kyle leans back in his seat once more, it being silent for a moment with just you three being inside for now. They return after some longer moments, them carrying smaller bags with them.

Soap hands you a happy meal and a capri sun, being a little surprised about it, but appreciated it. The rest gets whatever they ordered for themselves, Ghost not having ordered anything for himself this time. You try out the food they brought you, quietly enjyoing the chicken nuggets beside your teammates as you are all eating together and continue your way back to the base.

The rest of the flight goes by rather silent and peaceful for now, no longer antics or loud music playing in the background. You manage to fall asleep again, laying against Soap‘s shoulder this time.

Unfortunately, a nightmare plagues you, and you consider just never sleeping again with the amount of nightmares you still get, even with a nice company like them.

»I want to storm in! It‘s only fair, you always get to enter first.«

The very familiar voice pleads as she gets in front of you, making you smile slightly.

»Because I am the first in command. You shouldn‘t go in first, Halime.«

The conversation becomes more blurred and fast forward, getting in front of the door that leads to the basement, needing to get one last thing before finally going back to your dorm.

She somehow managed to change your opinion and enter first, not even realising what‘s happening first before her figure sags down and becomes limp.

You have no choice but to take out the hiding enemies out first and then tend to your close teammate, seeing how lifeless her eyes already look like. It‘s scary and the basement seems to shrink itself around you, the body in your arms slowly vanishing until she fully disappears and you see nothing but darkness.

There‘s a loud rumble waking you up from the unpleasant flashback, feeling a migraine form around your head. It seems like you landed just now, it being lighter outside again.

With a small sigh, you gather yourself up and leave with the rest, determined to not get any help on walking this time.

Riley arrives just a few hours later, not able to see her for now after the short debrief your team had, currently having to stay in your bed and rest. Even when you feel restless and even worse after that grueling nightmare, there isn‘t much you can do but stay in your bed and try to sketch something, having no energy to do so however.

a/n: again, next part is the final one, i will try to make the most out of it :3

[xxnghtclls]

Ok another analysis. I was trying to understand Sukuna‘s view on love and why it is worthless.

For me his understanding of love was always a hard nut to crack. Next to english not being my first language, I felt like I had to reread those panels a million times to come closer to understand to what love for him is and why he claims that it’s worthless. Again, just my thoughts, nothing has to be right. I don’t even know if this makes sense, but here we go.

If I understand it correctly, what he describes as love, is to recognise others strength and thus to respond to their violence with his own violence. This has a lot to do with respect and fits the way he describes the validation others seek from him. Fighting, slaughtering, -responding- to those who love him for his strength with his own strength. Attention and connection.

Considering that he could’ve faced rejection in his childhood (hated/unwanted), the themes of recognition and validation make a lot of sense here. I didn’t cover this in my other analysis, but the way he describes himself as unwanted little “wretch”, indicates that he saw himself as a little brat in his childhood as well. You could assume, that the form of love he knows and grew up with, is one of aggression, which he could’ve witnessed, acted upon others or experienced himself.

On this assumption, it makes sense that for him, love is a kind of attention and connection in the sense of responding with the same validation they came at him and that is violence and ultimately bringing death upon them. On that base, something interesting comes to mind. We’ve seen Sukuna being extremely happy when he’s fighting someone who can keep up with him, when he’s defeating someone strong, when he’s able to connect and “love” others in this way. So why exactly is love worthless?

We have Yorozu, who keeps babbling about love. What caught my attention here is that Sukuna explains that it was “quite annoying” to hear her trying to teach him about love, or about “what he doesn’t know”. I was wondering, why is he so annoyed, if he claims that he does know what love is? He doesn’t care about the opinion of others, so why is he pressed about something that she claims he doesn’t know? Do they have the same understanding of love? Or is he just annoyed because he thinks he knows better than anyone?

I think for Yorozu, love could mean mercy. Loneliness and solitude seem to be a more important topic for her than to Sukuna. So it could be her mercy to free Sukuna from the solitude of peerless strength, which- he doesn’t want. She claims she’s the one who will teach him about love - to ease his lonesome heart - to be the one that she will kill.

A direct contrast to Sukuna, who claims to enjoy his solitude and she being the one who wants to marry him. So the outcome on their views on love is the same here, which would be death, but the motivation is a different one. What’s interesting here is that Sukuna is ready to offer her “everything” once she would be able to defeat him. Is this is why he says love is worthless?

Because in his sense, based on what we’ve established, love ultimately means violence and death and after death it doesn’t matter “what you do with a corpse”. I ask myself, it he sees life itself as worthless? Could make sense, when he says he keeps living after his own statue, not caring about anything, because in the end nothing else matters…🎤🎸? But then why does he keep climbing the ladder of strength and power? Just to see if there‘s an end? Only because he can?

Man idk my brain is melting. Maybe this is not news for you, but for me it‘s hella complicated. 😆 I promise it‘s the last loaded analysis attempt thread for now. 🤞

[anantaru]

✦ ۫ 𑄼ల۫  ۪ DEC 8TH — FAVORITE WINTER ACTIVITIES

featuring: heizou, childe, xiao, albedo, diluc, itto, scaramouche, al-haitham x gn! reader

genre: fluff, crack ૮⍝◠ ·̫ ◠⍝ა | event.

✦ 𝐇𝐄𝐈𝐙𝐎𝐔

decorating the house

for heizou and you it was important to decorate and celebrate a warm and warm-hearted christmas vibe, the atmosphere being filled with both kindness and compassion, symbolizing your love to each other and the new season.

"how does this look?"

heizou held a dainty figurine in his hand, symbolizing an angel, wrapped in a white little garment as he held it on to the drawer next to the big christmas tree, being unsure if it would fit.

"I love it! it fits the white ornaments on our tree."

your glowing face was definitely better than the wintery season itself, the sides of your lips were split in an enticing smile as you walked towards him.

"i love the sound of 'our' tree."

flabbergasted with joy and delight he put the small figurine on the desk so he could place his hands on your waist, drawing you closer.

a kiss, only one, saying more than one thousand words, that threw you off reality, feeling like your feet barely touched the ground anymore.

upon pulling away, you held his cheeks in your palms, continuing, "we should continue to decorate." grabbing the silver ribbons and glitter off the table you tried to pull away from his grasp as he hooked his hand into you.

watching him with a confused expression, you continued, "there‘s still things to do on the tree."

"OUR tree, don't mess it up now."

✦ 𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐋𝐃𝐄

ice fishing

with ajax having an immense advantage surrounding this particular hobby— due to his father and him spending lots of time ice fishing together when he was little, he made it his duty to show you all the little tricks he had up his sleeve.

"wait, hold it like this."

your fingers were desperately cramping around the fishing rod, your hands struggling as he took them in his palm, wiggling you into the right direction.

"see, isn't that better?" his warm breath on your cheeks surely made you experience another familiar feeling, your smile being wide as you drew your eyes to him, thankful. "you're right."

"father and i always came here on the exact same spot, he showed me everything I'm showing you right now."

of course, you knew ajax was a big family person, his family was everything he had with you counting as a member of it as well.

the first time you met his parents you could still remember how excited he was, contentment warmed him from within when you were gradually opening up to them, laughing at each others jokes. He was so proud.

proceeding to let out some line from the fishing rod— so you could set the hook much further, you eagerly listened to the stories ajax would tell you about his childhood.

between the physical cold of the wintry day in snezhnaya, you shared each others company. An icy beauty was roaming, gently, a white sparkle as fine as any crystal would be when it began to snow, making the day very much more beautiful.

✦ 𝐗𝐈𝐀𝐎

sledding

with a puffy winter coat, xiao and you decided to go out sledding, well, not quite.

you actually had that brilliant idea and xiao followed suit, he wanted to make sure nothing was happening and that you weren't going to catch a cold, as if he could prevent that in the first place.

"are you sure you aren't too cold? we can still go back."

there it was again, your laugh echoed through the icy area as you turned around to watch xiao place the sled on the ground, his brows being slightly scrunched together in thought.

"i'm fine, are you ready though?" obviously, teasing him was one of your favorite things to practice, xiao never went sledding before and he was quite fond of the idea to share a new experience with his s/o.

"why shouldn't i be?" embarrassingly shifting his weight from side to side, he crossed his arms over his body, the cold air continuing to color his cheeks in a red hue.

"nothing nothing, we should start the fun!"

sledding every cold season comes and goes, but doing it with your s/o sure leaves its own impression, one that will always be remembered within high esteem.

with the sled down, you could feel the spine chilling wind run across your bodies when you sank onto the ground with xiao following suit.

you were sitting right in between his legs, he wanted it that way even though you had suggested to change positions, xiao still wanted you to sit particularly like that so he could drape his body over yours.

upon sliding down your faces changed with yours glistering in joy and excitement, you were pretty high up the hill, meaning that the sled was far faster than you had expected.

screaming and laughing you snuggled into xiao who held his breath because he didn't know what to do or what to say, nuzzling himself into your body and watching you well up with happiness.

it brought him a ray of happiness as well, seeing you like this.

✦ 𝐀𝐋𝐁𝐄𝐃𝐎

ice skating

you were moving in tandem with the crystal cold on you, albedo holding your hand as the both of you skated over the frozen lake in mondstadt.

if there was beauty in teyvat, it was here, in this moment, together with every weight lifted off your soul, it felt as if you were floating with him by your side.

"how are you so good at this albedo? you said it's your first time."

it was somehow hilarious how your boyfriend seemed to literally know everything by heart, even hobbies he had never tried nor thought about before.

"it is actually quite simple, the mass of the ice is nearly perfectly constructed to hold the people of mondstadt." yeah, that wasn't what you meant but you decided not to press the conversation any further, more so would he end up telling you all about the mass and construction of ice.

either way, those little quirks surely made you fall in love in the first place, albedo's fluffy hair was engulfed by the icy air, hiding significant features of his handsome face.

with your hand tightly shut around his, you continued to dance around the ice and albedo was barely able to conceal his delight. Of course, he was always itching to learn and experience new things and now, doing that, together with you?

truly the best way to greet the cold season.

✦ 𝐃𝐈𝐋𝐔𝐂

wrapping presents

every year, gifts were an exchange being made by friends and family, naturally diluc and you were quite entranced by the idea of sending various little goodies to your close ones, or at least, you were.

truth is, he could be a bit overwhelmed with it, when it came to gifting someone something he wasn't the most creative one either, really, he was struggling his butt off so he was happy to at least have you by his side.

"jean will love this homemade bread and hand written letter, I'm sure of it."

with that you looped a golden and red string over the packaged gift, placing it to the other already done goodies you had been working on earlier.

your eyes next, fell to diluc who was surprisingly struggling, his fingers were clumsily squeezing the wrapping paper over a dusty notebook.

"who is this gift for?"

curiosity caught the best off you as you rested your head against your palm, watching diluc add an ungodly amount of wrapping paper to the small book.

"kaeya."

how emotionless he let that name out, maybe he was too focused or he didn't want to talk about it. "you're gifting kaeya an old notebook?"

"it was my fathers, he should have it."

the next sight was adorable in your eyes, whenever diluc would get embarrassed his cheeks would flush red, sometimes the color would fade incredibly strong that it rivaled his hair.

"aw, that's so nice of you master diluc."

laughing and smiling, you rose up to wiggle yourself into his lap at last. Your boyfriend of course, let you, adoring nothing more than being close to you as you continued to watch him finish up kaeya's gift:

the gift he told you he wanted to wrap up himself.

✦ 𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐌𝐎𝐔𝐂𝐇𝐄

building a snowman

"this is stupid."

lets be honest here, you knew scaramouche wasn't fond of the idea of quote on quote playing in the snow, yet you still desperately wanted to build a snowman right in front of your home to uplift everyone's mood on the new developing season.

"come on, don't be a dealbreaker, you promised."

his eyes rolled in the back of his head as you spoke, but he didn't say anything, an annoyed groan was the last word you could perceive as he nearly finished the bottom of the snowman.

you could swore you saw a tiny sprinkle of a smile on him, maybe you were delusional but there was something that made it difficult for scaramouche to simply walk away or complain to you more.

"I'm only doing this for you so you better be thankful."

his focus was completely on you now, crystalized eyes watching you and waiting for some sort of reaction, or answer.

"i know and i‘m grateful for you."

knowing full on well it will make him flustered, you added a small giggle to your words as you brought your attention back to the headless snowman, attempting to grab onto the finished head.

"wait, let me do this." every person needed a harbor, a secure attachment and for scaramouche there was never a person like this, before you.

so even though he still despised the idea of building something as time consuming and stupid as a snowman— which will melt anyways, he wanted to at least try and show you that he was serious about another thing.

with a tiny bit of your help he settled the snowball on top of the body, you came prepared and added a tiny red scarf and a hat with scaramouche holding onto the carrot and two buttons.

in an attempt to give them to you, you turned away, beckoning him to do it himself as he followed with a deep sigh.

he was a bit rough at first so you had to make sure he wouldn't destroy the head of the snowman with his brute strength, but after careful guidance the both of you backed away to watch your craft it its full glory.

"our own creation."

with that, you wiggled your fingers into his. This sentence meant a lot to him, reminding him of a string of pain, with his eyes holding something akin to freedom.

✦ 𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐎

baking cookies

"DON'T TOUCH THIS ITTO IT‘S HOT!"

your screaming fell on deaf ears as itto grabbed onto the hot plate on the kitchen counter, squealing out upon making contact with it and almost throwing all of the cookies on the ground.

"ow, what the fuck?!"

with the way he was smacking the plate away, some of the cookies broke into tiny pieces as you sighed out at what your clumsy boyfriend had just did.

"noooo, we need to do it again now."

you weren't getting frustrated that often with itto's little schemes, in all honesty, you were used to it and quite accustomed to whatever measures you had to take to bath out whatever he would do or let happen.

"i didn't mean to, i swear"! worry was written all across his face with his brows being tightly scrunched together, anxiety wrinkles tickling on his forehead.

"i know, i know, lets do it again."

rubbing your eyes you walked over to your boyfriend who had an expression akin to someone who just saw a ghost as you placed your hands onto his cheeks, playfully squeezing the flesh.

"you need to concentrate."

his lips trembled as happiness threw itself at him like a comet, nodding frantically at your words as a newfound dedication swelled within him.

"okay, lets do this!"

breathing out a long sigh while shaking your head, you grabbed onto the big bowl from beforehand to start over, itto following your every step like a lost puppy who didn't know any better.

with being already familiar with the recipe, it didn't take you long to finish the dough, just a few ingredients being missing before you could go on to prepare them for the oven again.

"you know." he suddenly spoke, taking the sugar off the counter to hand it over to you with a overly confident smirk on his lips.

"what if i *did* do it on purpose to spend more time with you?"

✦ 𝐀𝐋-𝐇𝐀𝐈𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐌

stargazing + winter camping

under the darkened sky, between the clouds, in their usual mesmerizing appearence, the glow of the stars were prancing through the transparent clouds and illuminated the world within.

al-haitham and you were nuzzled together in both heavy winter coats and a couple of blankets, sipping on a cup of tea he had prepared as you gazed away.

it was intimate, but not in a sexual way, simply in a pure, soul blooming way you sadly weren‘t able to experience all the time with the both of you being busy on a daily basis.

"did you hear about the story of teyvat and their three moons?"

his warm hand was seeking you as he looped his arm over your shoulders, drawing you close.

"no, what is it about?" even though he would deny it, al-haitham had a way with words and on how to explain certain things, quite contradicting as the akademiya‘s scribe, yet it made him the perfect story teller in your eyes.

"once there were three moon sisters, named aria, sonnet and canon living in a lunar palace."

"sounds like a fairy tale." raising your brow with a giggle you nudged yourself closer to him with al-haitham‘s eyes glued to the sky.

"it might be, but who knows? the sky is endless."

you could see the stars twinkling in his unique colored eyes. No words have been spoken for a while, the proximity filled with pure calmness as the cold air was signifying the start of a new season.

©2022 anantaru do not copy, share, translate

[sango-blep]

Sometimes there‘s nothing better than a good old ball point pent

[targaryen-dynasty]

Fandom can be overwhelming. And a ton of writers surely can agree that it puts an immense pressure on your shoulders you sometimes struggle to take care of.

And it was like that for me quite some time ago. Back when I started writing, I was a half-baked writer and even less experienced with fandom etiquette in general. I just stumbled into fandoms, not really knowing what it all was about. After posting my first fanfic that was based on a role play storyline a former friend and I had, and seeing how well it did, I got lost in the rush of attention and interaction as well in the people asking for a part two and what not. I am wiser now, and things like that don‘t affect me anymore (honestly), but back then, it led me to resort to shitty things to be able to post stuff as quickly as possible.

And that‘s plagiarism.

Many, many (traumatic) things have happened to me in the years before that, and while that‘s no excuse, knowing it might give an insight of what‘s been going on with me.

Just so you understand, it all has happened more than a year ago, I got called out by the original author and very quickly deleted the few things related to it. I have also not done it again since then, but it has still happened. I have lifted a good bit of that writer’s things of a series I truly enjoyed, yet it didn’t help with my anxiety. But I still received recognition for it and should feel good, right? It felt nice, right? No, no it didn’t.

I refused to say it out loud, because I was ashamed and afraid, and should have known better back then (although there was no way for me to know. I was inexperienced in writing, fandom, and some life things in general). But with all the fandom bullshit going on now, and these informations in the hands of the wrong people, I deem it most fitting to admit it now to free myself of that burden and take back my power. There are screenshots where these people admitted they wanted to call me out based on the apology doc I made to inform them, but couldn’t simply because they didn’t have any access to it anymore, and how they made fun of me for it — while they also called me nasty things. And on top of that, these people went around and told my secret to several people. While I trusted them to keep quiet, they always claimed there would be other people I told that would definitely spill the secret, but these people didn’t. It were them.

I am by now way justifying what I did, I don’t want to do that. But it‘s meant to finally show my responsibility for that mistake. I‘m an adult, yes, but that doesn’t mean I am immune to making them. I am still learning, and with this, I‘ll take a step back from writing for I don’t know how long. Could be a few days, weeks, months or until season two airs.

Thank you for reading, I’m sorry, and lots of love,

Laura.

Unfollow me, unlike my stuff, stop supporting me: do whatever feels right for you. I don’t blame you. But it‘s been done, and I’m sorry for it. There‘s nothing more I can do to make it better.

I won‘t shut down my anons. So, if you have something to say to me now — feel free to do it.

[dsybouquet]

Ooh do you know of any fics with ellie as a mercenary? (or omg do you have any ideas uwu) I feel like that would slap

mercenary! ellie is probably the most cold blooded asshole the world has ever seen. if there‘s nothing in for her - she‘s not gonna do it. someone could be laying by her feet , bleeding to death and begging for her help and she‘d walk over them because they can’t pay her enough.

there were tales about her, saying she‘d rather die painfully than accept help.

she‘s an absolute lone wolf, travelling the world by herself. it‘s not like she had anything to lose, she was alone anyways.

one day, you met her. she had set up camp in the woods. her fire was illuminating her surroundings just barely. the sound of your footsteps caused her to pull out your gun immediately, ready to shoot whatever was coming right in the head.

„don‘t shoot.“ you said, walking up to her. „i‘m not trying to harm you.“ she just scoffed, not lowering your gun.

„then drop your fucking guns.“ she spitted out and to her surprise, you dropped them and put up your hands. „whats your name?“

„______.“ she lowered her gun, but still pointed at you.

you rolled your eyes when she didn’t say anything in response. „any more questions or are you gonna let me pass?“ the way you talked pissed her off to the core.

„pass, but i‘m sure you‘ll die. the only way through these woods is a village in the middle of it. its covered by infected. try your luck.“ she put her gun down and looked at you.

now you were the one who scoffed. „like i need advice.“ you put your hands down and picked up your guns again. „but i heard rumours about these woods. apparently they are hard to survive.“

you raised an eyebrow and looked at her. „but if they are so hard to survive, how come you are alive huh?“

she just shrugged, leaning forward so her arms rested on her knees. you sat down in front of the fire and looked at her with a tilted head. „who are you?“

again, she shrugged. „maybe i‘m your only way to get through this forest - if you can pay me enough.“

and you sighed. the rumour also had it that a young woman will wait by a tree and help you get through. she would disappear back in the woods once you were at the end. could it be that that’s really her?

„okay, witch of the woods, what do you want?“ you said, sarcasm dancing on your words. „well, what do you offer?“ she cockily replied, tilting her head with a smirk.

„i offer you my company.“

ellie started laughing and shook her head. „you should know better than anyone else that that will not be enough, don’t you?“

you hated the way she spoke, how she tilted her head at you and how her body was speaking. you knew she were making fun of her.

„why should i trust you, i don‘t know shit about you. i don‘t even know your name. how can i be sure you wont lure me anywhere just to fuck me over?“

„oh, you can’t.“ she childishly smiled. „but i can promise i won‘t.“

you rolled your eyes and looked her straight in the face. „what’s your name?“ you almost purred, trying to get a hold of any kind of information about her.

„Ellie. Not that hard to ask for something right?“

„okay ellie. how do i get through these woods?“

„again, i‘ll help you if you pay enough.“

this went on for some until you had enough. you stood up and looked at her.

„alright, allmighty witch.“ the sarcasm in your voice almsot made her laugh. „was nice talking to you. i hope we won‘t cross paths again.“

„if you ever need help on your way, just call my name and i‘ll make sure to help. of course only i-„

„only if i pay enough, yeah sure. i got it.“

ellie watched you leave, knowing you‘ll meet again.

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

okay idk if thats what you wanted but thats all my tired brain worked out aaaa

hope you enjoyed 🤭

[shisnhou]

astronomy

pairing: nanami kento x f! reader

genre: angst

wc: 1,5k

an: this is the first chapter of the story i will be releasing soon! tell me if you want more :)

marriage.

many people fantasize about being married.

to many, the idea of marriage is pure bliss. the thought of being together amidst the misunderstandings, pain, and marriage blues, the happiness, the shared home, the matching rings, the memories, creating a family, and the promises of forever regardless every arrow that shoots the heart of the relationship.

and as many wedding vows go, 'to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until parted by death. this is my solemn vow.' they entail one of many things, but mainly, to be together and cherish one another regardless of what happens.

but to some, that wasn't the case, and you wish you found out sooner, you wish you found out that you were part of the some, and not that many.

marriage is the biggest scam that you fell for in your whole life. the vows, the wedding, the rings, every single bit and piece of it is a horrid scam that you find yourself to be the victim of.

the marriage that lays upon your shoulders isn't bliss and happiness, it isn't nothing but a waste of money, yet a waste of life as well.

the marriage that many gush of, the marriage that you once gushed about, has failed you. you aspired to be one of those people who walked down the aisle whilst their partner was crying as they stood by the altar, watching the love of their life walking down the carpeted floor. you once imagined yourself as one of those people who would feel delighted once the ring engulfed your ring finger, you once wished of kissing the one person you love before the eyes of many who bear witness to your love story tying the knot.

but now, the marriage you gushed about is the same marriage you are itching to end.

it no longer makes you happy— being tied down to this 'sacred' bond. the wedding ring hugging your ring finger barely even glimmers, unlike the one that your husband has abandoned on his dresser. rather, it feels heavy.

you thought you'd be all smiles after marrying the love of your life, but you've been crying more than you have been laughing, the tears you spared and still are sparing are not of happiness, rather, of pain and agony. the kisses that you two share send you not butterflies in your stomach, instead pins and needles.

there‘s no love in your marriage, no love in this 'sacred' bond. it‘s all pain, sadness, and hurt. you feel mocked every time you see a happy couple holding hands in the street, much like the way the wedding ring that has been collecting dust since your husband has left it on his dresser; he‘s left it there since your wedding day.

and the mockery becomes even worse when you're around family. the family that were there to witness your 'loving marriage'. the same family you keep lying to about your marriage.

"i can‘t you believe it. god, no one thought you‘d be the first to marry amongst us!" kiki, older cousin screeches. she talks your ear off about your marriage and all that, and you wish you were able to slip away and lay in bed all day.

you hate gatherings like this with a burning passion. to you, it was all bullshit, because half of the time, they were just giving each other backhanded compliments, and now it's become your personal hell because all they do is ask you about your relationship.

"hm, surprise i guess." you mumble, taking a huge sip out of your wine, thinking of an excuse to get out of her as soon as possible.

"not to mention, to a rich and handsome man!" well, you assume that‘s one of the good things about your husband; that he was rich, tall, and handsome. "how‘d you do that?"

"it‘s a long story." you lie, rolling your eyes to cover the hard glare that‘s threatening to lay itself upon your cousin just so that she‘d shut her running mouth.

"well, you better hold him close. you‘ll never know what could be goin' on when you aren‘t home." you hate her, you truly do. it‘s unbelievable to you, how one could look so nice yet spout the worse kinds of things to someone who didn‘t even do anything.

"why would she need to hold him down when she's got him at the palm of her hand?" shima, another cousin of yours butts before kiki could say anything more.

"well, y'know how men are, ma.." kiki trails, causing you to role your eyes once again.

not that you care. you quit caring not so long ago. caring is a hard job, a job that was fruitless. so, you just quit. not that it matters to anyone anyway, not even to your husband.

it doesn‘t matter. you barely matter. all that matters it that you keep your husband's perfect image of husband above sea.

"believe me, i know everything that goes down." trying to hold up your facade, you smile, turning your head to the other side, hoping that they wouldn't notice that look on your face. the look that no one else sees. the look that you hide from the world, even from yourself. "everything is all and well."

lie after lie, excuse after excuse.

your mouth runs words. empty words that you wish the people will believe, praying that they don't see through the hollow letters, the broken vows inside the house of lies.

yet as you smile, hoping that they'd stop interrogating you, you come to the realization that there's only so much you can do when he doesn't even try to uphold your marriage's reputation.

"but where is he, though?" kiki's boyfriend— hirugami— asks, wide eyes staring at you. "you said he'd be here. i'd love to talk to him! ask more about the stock market n' all that,"

his words are genuine and you know that he means no harm, however the urge to slap your hand above his mouth is making you itch.

you made nanami promise to make an appearance, and he said he'd try his best to show some face. but hours have passed since the appointed time and all you can do is curse him in your head and wish that his expensive polished shoes hit a brick wall and break.

"busy." is your curt answer, running out of excuses to make. "being a business man really works you up, you know? having to stay in the office—"

before you finish your words, the devil himself appears by the door. your eyes go wide, and unbeknownst to you, a spark of hope glints in your eyes.

"kento," you whisper to yourself, rising quickly to make your way to him. but before you're able to, your aunt is rushing to greet him.

"kento! we're glad you're here." she smiles widely, wrapping her hand around his arm, leading him into the house.

his eyes meet yours. your heart skips a beat. despite convincing yourself that you and him no longer have any kind of ties, your heart never fails to recognize the man you fell in love with, the man who still holds your heart in his hands.

"(y/n)," your name falls from his lips, and without even realizing it, your feet walks to him, right where he is.

your aunt looks up at him, one brow raised at the sound of your name, as if you were a stranger and he just called your name out of no where.

"i need to go to my wife first. i need to greet her first." he says, retracting his arm and eyeing your aunt.

your aunt's eyes widen, sheepishly she smiles and lets go while nodding. you smile at her as nanami takes a step closer. for the second time, your eyes meet his. you swallow, looking deeply into his grey eyes and landing on your arms on his broad shoulders.

naturally, his hands move to your waist, causing a shiver to run up your spine.

"kento," you inhale his scent, recognizing the masculine scent of his perfume that you bought him last christmas. "hey."

"hello, wife." his words are sweet, but his face isn't. his lips remain thin and flat, even when his lips come closer, even when they press against yours.

"how was—"

"kento!" hirugami, screams his name walking up to him and slapping his hand on his back causing nanami to jolt and turn his head. hirugami is oblivious to the one sweet moment that he disrupted. but you can't blame him, not when he has not a single clue as to what happens behind closed doors.

"hirugami." nanami sends you one last look before he turns around to meet the man and greet him properly.

internally you sigh, already missing and yearing the feeling of his huge hands around your waist.

"you really have go him wrapped around your finger, huh?" shima teases. "i've never seen a man as tall as him calm down when he sees his wife."

you laugh softly at her words, wishing that what she said was true, despite knowing for a fact that it's the farthest thing from the truth. "well, it's a newly weds thing."

she hands you your glass of wine and you take it from her, but not without clinking it with hers first.

"you're right, you newly weds are truly sweeter than candy." obliviously, she agrees.

as her words leave her lips, you wish that she would never see through your lies. hoping that your lies manifest. that one day, your wishes and prayers will come true.

yes, this is very much inspired by conan gray's song astronomy.

[isolationcavedin]

there‘s nothing better than people who can accept you for who you are, even if you‘re quiet or introverted

[mellarksstuff]

there‘s nothing better than fresh bread

[lumiellle]

“it’s worth it if it’s you”; haikaveh, t 🌱🏛️

One dark day in November, one of their arguments spirals out of control. It started out as something harmless, certainly nothing to get serious about, but somewhere along the way, things became personal.

Kaveh’s eyes have had that wild look right from the start, the one he gets when he’s backed into a corner, but something flashes behind them the moment Alhaitham carelessly says something he shouldn’t have: “I wish I’d never asked you to stay with me.”

Kaveh flinches, eyes going wide. Alhaitham opens his mouth, an unfamiliar feeling of guilt rising up his throat. He immediately regrets it, but the damage is done. He fumbles for words, but before he can say anything, he feels a sharp sting against the side of his face.

White hot pain blooms across his cheek, but the expression on Kaveh’s face sends a completely different sort of twinge through his heart. A single tear runs down Kaveh’s cheek, which somehow feels ten times worse than getting slapped in the face.

“Kaveh,” Alhaitham starts, but Kaveh is pulling away, rapidly putting distance between them. Alhaitham‘s heartbeat quickens to a frightening pace. He realizes that he‘s starting to panic — panic that they cannot recover from this. That Kaveh will not want to.

When he said that, he didn’t mean it. He never meant to hurt Kaveh. He just said it for the effect — to make Kaveh snap out of his tirade, but he knows he went too far.

“Kaveh, wait,” he manages, his own voice sounding alien to his ears. This is foreign territory to him. Their altercations have never become physical. Kaveh‘s never looked at him like that. There‘s an unbidden thought coming to him — what if he‘s hurt Kaveh like this before?

Kaveh’s lips form a tight line, and he‘s got his arms wrapped protectively around himself. “What,” he presses out.

“I didn’t mean that.”

“It sure sounded like you did,” Kaveh says. His voice comes out weak, but there’s certainty in it.

“I’m sorry.”

Kaveh shakes his head. “Until when do you want me gone? Just tell me, I’ll figure something out.”

Alhaitham’s heart sinks. “No,” he says, “I don’t want that.”

“Well, what do you want?” Kaveh snaps. The words are venomous.

“I want—.”

I want to stay like this. I want us to get along. I want… Alhaitham swallows. He takes a step forward, one hand extended hesitantly towards his roommate. “I want to understand you.” Kaveh’s eyes flicker, but he stays quiet. “I truly want you to stay, Kaveh.”

Kaveh wipes at his eyes, more tears spilling down his cheeks. “How do I know you’re serious?” For a while, there are no words Alhaitham thinks would convincingly convey what’s going on in his mind. Frankly, he thought he was being quite obvious about how he feels about Kaveh.

Kaveh clears his throat. “All we ever do is fight. You never let me win arguments, even when we both know I’m right. Why?”

Alhaitham usually never takes long to come up with a good comeback, but he’s stumped for words. To him, the dynamics of their relationship have always been clear. He’s never questioned that Kaveh might think of their arguing as anything other than a way of showing interest and acknowledging each other’s intelligence. A way of caring. Maybe that is what he needs to tell Kaveh. He doesn’t know if it’ll translate, considering Kaveh takes things much too personal and tends to misinterpret words seemingly at will, but it’s maybe the only way to solve this.

“Listen. I don’t know if you’ve noticed at all, but you’re the only one I argue with like this.”

“Oh great. Is that supposed to make me feel better?”

Alhaitham scratches at the back of his neck. “I do it because it’s worth the hassle. With anyone else, I wouldn’t even bother. It’s worth it if it’s you.”

Kaveh regards him for a long moment. He’s still got his arms wrapped around himself, but his shoulders are slowly beginning to relax. Alhaitham waits for him to say something. His heart is still beating quicker than usual, breath stuck somewhere in his throat. Finally, Kaveh uncrosses his arms and wipes his face one last time. Then, he takes one long stride and then he’s right in front of Alhaitham. He lifts a hand, and Alhaitham winces, bracing himself for another slap.

It doesn’t come.

“Relax,” Kaveh says, a hint of amusement in his words. He swipes his thumb along Alhaitham’s cheek, his touch feeling cool against his burning skin. “You’re all red. Did I hit you too hard?”

Alhaitham averts his eyes. “It doesn’t matter.”

“So… I’m special to you? Since I’m apparently the only one suffering the consequences of your terrible way of dealing with, what, respecting people?”

It’s not just respect, though, Alhaitham thinks. There’s something else mixed in, something warm and sweet. Something that’s a little bit scary to accept. So he just nods, half hoping for Kaveh to step back, half wanting him closer. Kaveh exhales, his breath hitting Alhaitham’s cheek, and lets go of him. “I’ll remind you of that, then, the next time you’re being an asshole.”

“Fine with me. Won’t change that I was right this time,” Alhaitham retorts, feeling relieved.

Kaveh rolls his eyes. “I might forgive you if you tidy up the living room.”

Alhaitham ends up cleaning the kitchen as well. Kaveh watches him while working on a new sketch. It’s okay, Alhaitham thinks. He gets the feeling that he’s come a bit closer to realizing what it is that made him so scared of the thought of losing Kaveh’s company in the first place. It’s definitely something more than respect. He has a vague idea where his heart is trying to lead him, and he hopes Kaveh will stick around long enough for him to get there.

[tys-kitty]

There‘s truly nothing better than people liking or reblogging some of your old posts and you get to proudly reread all your old ideas and theories

[laura1633]

i would certainly also be very interested in a charles max rico match up! & can totally also see charles being a little insecure that he can‘t lift max the same rico can, maybe he once tried (after zandvoort 21 i think where rico lifted max up with one arm effortlessly and charles was grumbly staring along in the background) because he was like nobody (man)handles my boyfriend better than me😤he nearly hospitalized both max and him tho…and it‘s kind of been a little crack in his ego ever since.

i can see max being very supportive and sweet tho too!! maybe charles expresses that he‘s sorry he can‘t do the things rico can in terms of manhandling and lifting max like that and max assures him that while yes sure it‘s fun that rico is able to do that, he also doesn‘t always like or need it. he‘s perfectly fine with how charles is able to handle him in bed and there‘s nothing hotter than that!🥰

Love all this anon and I am glad there is another person interested in Max/Rico/Charles 😆

I could totally see Charles seeing Max getting lifted in the air by this huge muscly guy (who also happens to be very friendly with Max) and wanting to show Max that he can do that too. Except he can't because him and Max are much more evenly matched size wise. Yes I also think Max would be really supportive, it is likely the first time he has seen Charles insecure about anything when it comes to sex.

In my mind there are a few different ways a threesome could play out so if I ever write it I am going to have to try and work out which one is the most interesting as they all have different feels to them!

[anantaru]

Cyno with a praise kink? 🥵🥴 He won't survive around me, I love being praised and giving praise. Worshipping his cock and pressing soft kisses to it when I give him head, reminding him how much I love and adore him before I climb on top and comment on how perfect he feels inside me, adoring the way his face might flush as I kiss him and ride him while complimenting him any way I can. The Rizz Daddy General can have it all~ <3

you‘re so right, cyno wants to be pampered so dearly he looks forward to it each time, in his opinion there‘s nothing better than that. Without doubt he gets enough praise from many people in sumeru— for example on how safe they feel that he‘s protecting them or when they comment on his astonishing strength, but cyno only wants to hear you, just you and forever you, wants you to say that he’s so sweet, so perfect and kind, so so loving and once he listens to your praises— the tiny mewls against his ear or when you drag his length through your twitching walls, he closes his eyes and smiles because there honestly isn‘t a moment that‘s better than this, it‘s maddening.