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cynicalmusings · 10 months ago

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being slightly delusional and thinking about yiju (and jing yuan) again and how their backstories sort of parallel each other’s, yet are different enough to give them vastly different views of the world (and themselves)…

(get ready for a tangent incoming)

the thing about both them and jing yuan is that they both lost the people closest to them in very short succession; jing yuan with the high cloud quintet, and yiju with their family after 1) the cangcheng was destroyed, which killed their parents, and 2) the time it took for them to be accepted onto the luofu as refugees, during which both their siblings (older and younger) died. as jingliu’s character story says, “The Cangcheng fell in calamity with very few survivors. I don't know what you experienced before the rescue team arrived...” but yiju never received any sort of master or guidance to help them cope with ‘what happened before the rescue team arrived’.

the main difference between yiju and jing yuan is that yiju was much younger relative to losing their family than jing yuan losing the high cloud quintet. the hcq dismantled ~700 years ago, and jing yuan was around young adulthood when it happened, so let’s estimate he’s roughly… 200 or so when that happened, making him roughly 900 years old in total.

meanwhile, yiju barely has any childhood memories left of the cangcheng; they were probably around 50 when the ship was destroyed (let’s just ignore this means canonically they’d be around 1,800 years old because the cangcheng disaster happened in the year 6,300 of the star calendar and it’s currently 8,100 in the present day… shhhhhhh. maybe they got frozen in ice march/aang style and didn’t age during half that time), so when they experienced their trauma clump, they were much less equipped to fathom what was happening to them beyond ‘i don’t know where i am and the people i love aren’t waking up’.

obviously, this doesn’t mean it was any easier for jing yuan to lose the hcq just because he was older when it happened, but i suppose the point i’m trying to make is that a life of not trusting others, keeping personal emotions and information to oneself, etc. is practically the only life yiju remembers living, meaning it’s had a more profound impact on their worldview as opposed to jing yuan, who at least had some grounding in life before things got ripped out from under his feet. he was experienced enough, i think, to begin accepting what happened even if it still hurt, whereas yiju is almost perpetually stuck in those moments of childhood when they were forced to shut their vulnerabilities up because they’ve barely ever known a different way of living.

jing yuan keeps quiet in the present about the hcq and his mourning because his character story implies that although it’s still painful, he’s wise enough to make some peace with what happened. part of it is likely some degree of not being willing to talk about it—he strikes me as the kind of person who’d rather suffer in silence than inconvenience others because of his problems—but, again, he’s been able to come to terms with it enough that mourning alone is at least bearable.

yiju keeps quiet about their past because they’ve convinced themselves that it doesn’t matter, that they don’t care about it, etc., but below the excuses they know they’re simply absolutely terrified of being vulnerable. since the cangcheng’s destruction, they were forced to harden and stifle down their emotions just to survive. vulnerability got their siblings killed and them most likely discriminated against when they first got onto the Luofu for being a foreign child who wore strange clothes and spoke with a strange accent—one they definitely taught themselves to lose. not to mention that the way they acquired funds for to start their tea house, and the business they do in it now, makes it actively dangerous to share personal information or anything at all which could be used against them.

essentially, jing yuan took the wisdom and growth from loss, whereas yiju took the cynicism. they took some degree of kindness and selflessness as well—they don’t want to see the unfair suffering they faced repeated in others, hence why they protect marginalised people and groups in their tea house as long as the discrimination they face isn’t a result of that person’s own actions—but potentially being ‘kind’ is something they will never admit to themselves.

and really, the only possible way i can only see them opening up to somebody is if they got drunk with somebody, and weren’t quite as in control of themselves as usual, and they caught some whiff of their old life back on the cangcheng—maybe a smell which reminds them of a dish, or some image which reminds them of something they saw—and most importantly somebody (cough cough jing yuan cough cough) made the first move in showing them that they’re not the only one hurting because of the past and extending a hand to them to tell them know they don’t have to be so afraid of other people—not everybody is going to twist yiju’s emotions to their advantage—and for one night, just maybe they can admit to themselves that they’re lonely and that feeling that way is okay. and i think that jing yuan would be willing to take that first step, because he has healed at least enough to share a bit of his experiences to them, and at the same time he can see that yiju—a person he does care about—is in dire need of a figure they can actually feel safe around. i can imagine yiju’s original accent would also slip out while they’re drunk.

also, from a preventing-mara point of view, i feel like it would also be good for both of them to share and make peace with their experiences instead of keeping them locked up.

#i don’t know what this is or why i wrote it #it probably doesn’t make much sense to anyone who can’t see directly inside my brain #which is you know most people #but there you go i guess #some yiju and jing yuan brain splurge #jingju? yijing?#anyway #whatever #r’s random thoughts #yiju’s actually a bit similar to aventurine in how their backstory and how it’s affected them #although i would say yiju is a bit kinder than aventurine #and a whole lot more careful

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moremusic · 2 years ago

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This weeks guest reminds me of the good 70’s rock like Zeppelin and Sabbath. Listen to their music loud while reading this interview. Here is Fuselage.

Tell us a little bit about Fuselage? Members etc

I first met Toby in the UK in 2004 and got talking about music and playing in bands. We resolved to catch up when we were in the same hemisphere at some far of distant point in the future. Once I moved to Adelaide in 2012 we started jamming in his shed - that’s how all good bands start right?

Before long we had some good tunes and wanted to work on them with a full band. It took us a while and we had a few false starts along the way, but through some connections we got in touch with Marcus who was into what we were doing and thus we had found a drummer. We spent the next 18 months or so writing some decent songs (and some not so good ones) and managed to score our first gig. Not long after Wozza joined to make us a four piece and we’ve been going ever since.

Our line up is:

Rob Penny – Guitar & Vocals

Toby T-Bone Roberts – Bass

Marcus Langman – Drums

Wozza – Guitar & Vocals.

What are you short and long terms goals?

In the short term we want to keep writing new songs and perfecting our sound whilst playing shows around Adelaide and getting known as a band that’s worth seeing. Playing live is what we’re all about and It’s a huge buzz watching people get out of their seats to come and dance to music that we’ve made.

Longer term we want to get more stuff recorded, we released our first EP in January 23 and the reception has been great. We got a whole bunch of songs that need recording so to get them out there has got to be the goal. Playing some festivals and interstate shows would be also super cool.

How was it dealing with the Covid Pandemic? Is everything back to normal?

It was tough for sure. We played our first gig about 6 weeks before the first reports of COVID began hitting the news screens which led to a handful of shows getting cancelled. Once we could venture out the house we started rehearsing and that’s when Wozza came onboard. There weren’t any shows around so we concentrated on playing as a four piece and writing. Once gigs were allowed we managed to secure a few slots around the place. It was a weird experience playing in front of an audience that had to sit and couldn’t dance or sing.

It seems to be back to normal these days and COVID is a memory in the back of everyone’s mind I guess.

What is your career highlight so far?

We’re all very proud of our Blacksun EP.

Your music reminds me of good 70’s rock like sabbath. Who are your influences?

That’s not the first time someone’s mentioned the 70’s rock vibe which makes sense to all of us as we’re no spring chickens and have been listening to a lot of that stuff for a long time and yes, Ive lost many hours to Sabbath although not for a long time. Maybe They’ve subliminally found their way into my writing process!

One of the things we love about writing music is that we all bring something unique to the songwrting process and hear things slightly differently. Personally I’m a huge 70’s fan, meaning that I love Glam, Disco, Punk, New Wave, and early electronic music and as I do the initial writing for the band it stands to reason that there’s a 70’s base for our music.

To name a few I would say (off the top of my head), The Clash, Roxy Music, Elvis Costello, Fleetwood Mac, The Cure, Tom Petty, David Bowie, Echo & The Bunnymen, New Order, the list could go on for days.....

The other lads will no doubt offer up some other suggestions.

With new venues like The Hindley Street Music Hall opening up, what do you think of the Adelaide music scene?

It certainly seems to be alive and kicking that’s for sure. It may be my memory but I don’t recall there being as many bands to see on a weekend immediately prior to the pandemic. Myself and Toby went out a few weeks ago to see who was out and about and caught some great shows at different venues and a lot people having have a great time listening to them.

Incidentally we played with a band from Albury a few months ago who said that Adelaide’s scene seemed a lot more vibrant than Melbourne’s....Just saying.....

Who are the most successful Adelaide bands in the last 2 decades

That’s a tough one as I haven’t been here for the last two decades to judge however, for me it would have to be Hilltop Hoods – my family love them and I have come to love them also due to the number of times they get played around the house, and Cold Chisel. The number of people I know who seem to have a religious experience every time the name is mentioned is impressive.

What Adelaide bands should we look out for?

Well there’s us of course s and I really like a band called The Dainty Morsels.

If you could invite 4 musicians to dinner dead or alive) who would you invite?

Firstly it would have to be Joe Strummer – one of my all time heroes. 2023 needs Joe Strummer and he should be here right now sorting things out from a stage. Secondly it would be David Bowie. The world lost a lot of it’s mystery the day he died. Thirdly I should probably choose someone still living to balance thing up a bit so I’ll pick Elvis Costello as Ive been listening to his stuff for as long as I can remember and he keeps putting out great and varied albums. Finally it would have to be Johnny Marr as he’s my Guitar Guru and I’d want to learn all I could from him. A real nice bloke too.

If you were given the chance to support one artist in the world, who would you pick?

I guess I should pick someone active as they may read this and get us onboard so I’ll pick The War On Drugs. Love their albums and Adam Granduciel is a genius.

If you were stuck on a deserted island with only one record, what would it be?

That’s an impossible question to answer as I have so many I’d want to take. I’m guessing that taking a box-set is out of the question so I’ll pick my current favourite which is Tom Petty’s Live at the Filmore. Its a triple album and will keep me going for a while. Hearing the audience’s cheers and chatter amoungst songs would make me feel like there people on the island with me.

Where can people find out more about you?

https://twitter.com/bandfuselage?s=21&t=s5VFwt0bhjJwXHMHuAKF8A

#Spotify

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utilitycaster · 3 years ago

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I am attempting to explain why I love the history of Avalir that was revealed this past episode so much and this is just going to be very sprawling and cover both religion and nuclear semiotics, my two true passions, so:

The question of “how do we communicate across insititutional memory” is one of the hardest ones to answer. Institutional memory is fragile and incredibly short. I’m on an alumni board for an undergrad group I was in as a student; it’s been less than 15 years and the way of doing things has changed multiple times. I know people on the board who are themselves 20 years older than I and they’ve seen even more iterations. And granted, college clubs have a shorter memory than most given how transient the population is, but what is astounding is that the founders are still alive and can answer and things still change so fast we can’t quite track why. And when we can, it’s often a very minor reason - a temporary stopgap that became permanent because the people who knew it was temporary graduated; an accommodation for someone who’s long since been forgotten.

Usually the thing that endures is the action or the ritual; but not the reason why. And this is both good and bad. Actions are important. Carrying out the thing that must be done is, in many cases, more important than knowing why. And yet, when the reasoning is lost, the continuity of the action becomes endangered. There’s no longer a capacity to intelligently deviate from that action when necessary, because people only know “do this” and not “to achieve this goal”. And, as we’re seeing here, it means that when people rebel against the injunction there is no way to push them back. If all they know is “don’t harm the tree” and not “because it is a bulwark against catastrophe”, then why shouldn’t they harm the tree?

The first example I thought of here were the conversos: Jews from the Iberian peninsula who were forced to become Catholic during the inquisition, but who secretly carried out Jewish traditions when they could. The specific example I had in mind is the dough offering. It’s a tiny tradition, itself a relic: it was once commanded to give up the first baked goods you made with the new wheat. After that practice could no longer be made, the tradition became to, when you made bread, set aside a small piece and burn it separately.

The people who were forced to convert continued to do this, but over time, because teaching the source of the tradition was a risk, it was lost - yet the tradition remained. You can read interviews with the descendents of conversos; many only realized their heritage within the past century or so, when they realized the weird family tradition of taking a piece of dough around the size of an olive and letting it burn while the bread baked actually came from something, not just superstition.

Now, in the end, it’s not terribly important that you burn the bread in terms of safety; but it illustrates what people remember.

Which is the consideration in nuclear semiotics - the long term nuclear waste warning message (”This place is not a place of honor”) essentially became a meme in recent years, which I think is also very illustrative, but the thought process that became this message is worth reading about. Essentially: how do you tell people - who may not know you, who may not speak your language, who may be the survivors of some unknown cataclysm - that this was dangerous? Because you need to communicate not just “stay away” but also “because this will kill you,” and, ideally, “this is how it will kill you and this is why we have it.” There’s an order of importance - it’s better if people stay away even if they don’t know why - but, well, human psychology says that if you hang up a “danger: keep out” sign some thrill-seeker will come knocking, unless you specify “no for real you will die horribly, and here’s why this exists in the first place despite that danger.” And of course there is a risk, that if you fully explain the purpose and use of the radioactive waste people will try to use it; but you’ve provided the explanation.

And so in Avalir, and with the Drashari, there are two cases. First, the Tree of Names; they said “take care of the tree” and “because it is important” but not “because it protects the entire world from dangers beyond this plane”, so the assumption among the wizards is that it’s important to the druids...but not to them, the brilliant wizards who know better and don’t care about weird plants. (This case, of course, wasn’t really erosion of the information over time though; it was withholding of information in the first place; an understandable flaw but a fatal one).

Second, the Ashari. A millennium or more later, they retain bits and pieces - protect the world from extraplanar elemental threats. They’re no longer the generalists they once were, and it’s unclear if they realize that the cause of these rifts or elemental anomalies in Exandria are due to sealed primordials. They don’t seem to do much about things from planes other than the elemental ones either. They are fairly isolated - perhaps recollecting, imperfectly, that outsiders bring wizards bring ambition. Even some of their deeply flawed institutions suddenly make more sense, as yet another step in the game of telephone their practices must have gone through: the Aramente as a way, perhaps, to connect the now scattered tribes, to cover ground across the world now that they have no tree to do it for them, and to ensure that there are a few people who understand the outside world and who have the power to take on a greater threat than the everyday ones coming through the planes, but decayed now into a leadership initiation and repurposed into a way to get difficult tasks done. But we know now - they’re not just throwing a bit of bread into the oven to burn. There was once a very clear task they were supposed to do, and they’ve lost much of it, but they’re trying to keep it as much as they can.

#critical role #critical role spoilers #exu calamity #long post

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bluejayblueskies · 3 years ago

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oh if you did a little something for jonmartin and "hiding their face in the other’s neck" i would be so 🥺💕

touches prompt list

a little post-circus kidnapping hurt/comfort! cw for wounds/injury, mild blood, mentions of non-consensual touching, and mentions of kidnapping

There is a stranger’s elbow digging into Jon’s side.

He shifts from one foot to the other, trying to relieve some of the pressure on his side while surreptitiously giving the stranger a glare that he hopes adequately conveys his dislike of the current situation. The tube is packed, as it always is at this time of day, and there are… so many strange hands. An elbow, at least, is better than the hand that had pressed to his back as the individual it belonged to had instinctively tried to maintain their balance.

After all, Nikola didn’t touch him with her elbows.

Jon doesn’t want to think about that. He doesn’t want to think about any of it. He wants to lie down in a soft bed and get his first good night’s sleep in a month and finally have the space to process. Alone.

Instead, Martin stands next to him on the train. His hand rests just beneath Jon’s where it grips one of the metal poles, and Martin takes care not to brush against him despite how crowded the car is. Jon considered telling Martin, when they first got on the tube, that it was okay—that his touch would be… well, it wouldn’t be bad. But he’d stayed silent, allowing Martin to cultivate a careful space between them. They’ve been silent for the past twenty minutes as they’ve passed by station after station on their way to Martin’s flat in Brixton.

“I have a flat,” Jon had said uncomprehendingly when Martin had suggested (or rather, gently begged) that Jon come back to his flat with him. “It’s, um. It’s nice. Spacious. S-sturdy locks.”

“You… you don’t have to come if you don’t want to,” Martin had said, sounding and looking very much like he wished Jon would anyway.

“I’m fine.” Jon was not fine. But he could be fine until he got back to his flat. It was always good to have a short-term goal.

Martin gave him a look that clearly said that he thought Jon was full of shit. Jon was, but it was still unnecessary. He was just trying to keep it together. What did Martin want—him sobbing and crumpling to the floor right here in the Archives? No, that wouldn’t do at all.

“You were kidnapped. Twice now. I really don’t want it to happen a third time. Besides, I…” Martin trailed off and fluttered his hands at his sides. “I—I should take a look at your hand. And your, um. Wrists.”

Jon looked down at his arms. They were, indeed, quite red and raw and scabbed over and likely to scar. Nikola had been irritated when she’d seen that he’d been tied up so tightly, but she’d decided there was nothing to be done about it. She would just ‘make do with what she had.’ And, well. She had never stopped Breekon and Hope when they’d cinched the ropes just a little bit tighter each time.

“I have first aid supplies in my flat,” Jon lied. He was fairly certain that he had a backpack of What the Ghost merchandise and a single mattress to his name at the moment. “I can take care of it.”

“So can I.” Martin took a deep breath. “I just… I don’t want to see you hurt, Jon.” His cheeks were flushed a rosy pink, and he looked over Jon’s shoulder at the wall behind him. “J-just for tonight, at least? I want…” Martin swallowed. “I want to make sure you’re safe.”

And then Martin had turned those lovely blue eyes to his, and, well. Here they are.

Jon adds 24 hours onto his mental countdown of the time he has left until he’s allowed to break down and tells himself that he can manage. It’s… important to have long-term goals as well. He splits this one into steps.

Step one: get to Martin’s flat without crying. He achieves this easily enough. He finally escapes the cloying presence of strangers as Martin’s door shuts behind them, and then it’s blissfully quiet. Martin flips on a light, illuminating the space in pale yellow. It’s a little bit messy but otherwise spartan. The walls are painted a dull eggshell white, the floor made of cheap lino. Martin sits Jon down on the couch and disappears into the bathroom. Jon stares at the wall and focuses on breathing evenly and thinking about anything other than how smooth his skin feels when he slowly rubs his fingers together.

Step two: let Martin bandage his wounds without crying. This is… more challenging, if only because it hurts. Martin apologizes profusely as he wets a cotton ball with isopropyl alcohol and gently cleans the inflamed areas. Jon sucks his bottom lip between his teeth and bites down, focusing on anything other than the stinging, burning sensation in his wrists and hands. Funny—he’d thought that at this point, he would be used to the pain, but he’s not. All he knows now is what to expect.

Martin carefully wraps his hand and wrists in bandages. For a moment after he’s done, he delicately holds Jon’s hands in his like they’re porcelain. His hands are warm and soft, and Jon imagines how lovely they would feel against his cheeks. He thinks briefly that Martin is going to raise his unbandaged hand to his lips and lay a kiss across the back of it, but Martin doesn’t. Instead, he sets Jon’s hands back in his lap and stands, mumbling that he’s going to go make some tea.

Jon scrubs his uninjured hand across his eyes, just once.

Step three: sit on the couch with Martin and drink tea without crying. Martin presses a mug of steaming chamomile into his good hand and lays a plate of biscuits between them. “Th-they’re your favorite,” Martin says with a small, nervous laugh, like Jon’s not already staring at the plate with something choked sitting in the back of his throat. “I—I figured you probably haven’t really eaten today, and… I don’t really know what you’ve eaten lately. So, um. Yeah.”

Jon thinks of the things that Nikola had called food, then chooses not to think of them at all. He tucks the memory into a box next to cold hands and exposed skin and burning ropes and slams the lid before it can all come spilling back out again. “Thank you,” he says earnestly. He gingerly takes a biscuit in his stiff, aching hand that hasn’t had the time to heal properly and probably won’t get the chance to do so in the future and pops it into his mouth whole so he doesn’t get crumbs on Martin’s couch.

Step four: eat a biscuit that tastes like the best biscuit you’ve ever had and is the first palatable food you’ve had in weeks without crying.

“Jon?”

Jon blinks and comes back to himself. He’s staring blankly at Martin’s face, at eyebrows folded in concern and mouth curled into a small frown. Martin’s freckles are smudged into smears of tan, and the lines of his jaw waver like a mirage in front of Jon’s eyes. That’s odd, Jon thinks. Then, he feels something wet hit the top of his cheek.

Oh, no.

Quickly, Jon reaches up and scrubs the tears away from his eyes. As soon as he lowers his hand, more spring up in their place. He curses and sets his mug of tea down heavily on the table, taking one more look at Martin—whose eyes are now wide with worry—before turning away and attempting to pull himself together.

Step five: stop crying. Stop crying. Stop crying.

(Stop crying, his grandmother says as he stands in the living room, hands and knees dirty and hair a mess. He’s managing to say words between his sobs, words like book and stole and spider. She’s frowning at him, but her voice is still patient and calm when she says, You’re not making any sense, Jonathan. Stop crying, please, and speak clearly. You had a nightmare?)

“Jon, what’s—” Martin catches himself, which Jon is thankful for. He thinks that if Martin had finished that question—asked him what’s wrong—Jon wouldn’t have been able to stop himself from saying, what isn’t? “What can I do to help?” he says instead, a hand hovering carefully in the air between them like he doesn’t know if he’s allowed to touch Jon or not.

“Don’t look,” Jon manages to say. He immediately feels ridiculous and follows with a quick: “S-sorry, it’s—I don’t k-know how to—I’m not—I’m n-not good at—”

“I’m not looking,” Martin says softly.

Jon cuts off, takes a breath, and turns his head back toward Martin. True to his word, Martin has his eyes closed, though his hand remains in the air between them. Jon presses his good hand to his mouth for a moment to hide how the sight rips a new, more ragged sob out of him. Then, tentatively, he reaches forward and takes Martin’s hand.

Martin inhales sharply. Jon almost lets go, but Martin curls his fingers around Jon’s hand and squeezes. He holds Jon’s hand tightly yet so achingly softly, and Jon could weep. (Or rather, is weeping.)

“Can I hug you?” Martin says abruptly, like he’d been fighting an internal battle about whether or not to say it and had just lost. His cheeks darken, but he doesn’t say anything else or take it back. His jaw shifts as he pinches his lips together and worries them back and forth.

Jon is… not the kind of person who initiates or seeks out hugs. He always makes them too stiff, or he holds on just a bit too long and makes them awkward, or he doesn’t know what to do with his hands and ends up just dangling them uselessly in the air. He’s also never really seen the point of them if he’s being honest. As a form of greeting, surely handshakes or waves or head nods get the point across just fine. Right now, though, there is truly nothing in the world that Jon thinks would make him feel safer than having Martin’s arms around him.

Jon nods, then remembers that Martin can’t see him and whispers, in as composed a voice as he can muster: “Please.”

Step six: hug Martin Blackwood without falling apart completely.

Martin’s arms are soft and warm around him. His chest is flush with Jon’s, and he’s holding him so close that Jon is practically on Martin’s lap. All Jon can think is that it’s been so long since he’s been held by something not made of sawdust or plastic. He grips the back of Martin’s jumper with lotion-soft hands and cries tears that have been collecting for a month into the fabric as he buries his face in Martin’s neck. Martin’s hands rub large circles across Jon’s back, and he’s whispering gentle words into Jon’s ear. Things about safe and okay and time and here.

By the time Jon feels thoroughly wrung dry, his cheeks are sticky and his head is throbbing and he’s desperately in need of a glass of water. He takes a few deep breaths, then carefully extracts himself from Martin’s arms. Martin lets him go easily, though his hands remain resting lightly on Jon’s elbows as if he can’t bear to let him go completely.

Jon thinks he knows the feeling.

Martin’s eyes are still closed, and Jon is hit with such a swell of affection he can hardly breathe around it. “Y-you can open your eyes,” he says, a bit sheepishly. Martin does, and if he’s affected by the state of Jon’s face, he doesn’t show any indication of it. “Sorry,” Jon mumbles, twisting his ring—now on his left middle finger instead of his right—around and around mindlessly. “I just…”

“You don’t have to explain yourself, Jon.” Martin squeezes Jon’s elbows gently. “I understand. Any time you need me to look away, I will. Okay? I just…” He takes a breath. “I’ll always be here. F-for you when you need me.”

If Jon weren’t thoroughly out of tears, that would make his eyes water. Instead, he nods and offers a small, weak smile. “I know. Thank you, Martin. It… just. Thank you.”

Step seven: fall asleep safe against Martin’s side in the bed that he insists is big enough for two, face pressed into Martin’s neck once again and hands curled loosely in Martin’s sleep shirt.

He’s so drained by the time they’re there, so wrung-out and empty and relaxed, that he manages to do so almost immediately. He thinks he hears Martin murmur, “Sleep well, love,” as he drifts off. But it disappears into the fuzzy border between sleep and wakefulness, slipping from Jon’s mind entirely as he fades to black.

#tma #the magnus archives #jonmartin #jonathan sims #martin blackwood #willoftitanium #my fic #my writing

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sundarika · 4 years ago

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headcanon in two parts, sorry. Ask does not miss it. 1.1 Oh, you know the insecticons from the tfp? Can I have a headcanon where a S/O person is on friendly terms with insecticons?

[TF PRIME] S/O Is Friends With The Insecticons

———————————————————————

* [S/O] meets them by accident quite a bit before the events of the Energon Eaters. Arachnid is still “leader” of the Insecticons by technicality as the only available ‘Queen’ for the hive-mind, however she never really patrols the area or takes care of the hive as she should, rather choosing to wander as a free mind, disobeying orders from everybody.

* You had stumbled upon the hive while taking a short walk along the side of the Jasper highway, leading out of town and to an old coal mine you liked to inhabit on your days off work. A home-away-from-home of sorts, it brought you peace of mind to have a quiet place.

* At least you thought it was a quiet, desolate area until you broke through a thinning in the rock floor of the entry shaft and ended up crashing an Insecticon tea-party.

*It was a rather awkward fall, and it had injured your hip joint on the way down, leaving you temporarily paralyzed in throbbing pains and nerve damage.

* The giant bug-like robots and their shiny, metal wingspans immediately armed themselves and aimed at the shifting dust and rockfall, growling and chittering in a language of some sort, unknown to you.

* “Is it one of those ugly-faced Decepticons ploys again?”

* “It’s too small and squishy, much sooner to be a predacons’ chew toy than any weapon.”

* You looked super confused, absolutely stupefied, completely duped, utterly incomprehensible, awkwardly awed, amazingly idiotic, a-

* Their manner of speech and vocal patterns was practically lost on you. You could pick up remnants of a language similar to broken [language], but really nothing else. In an attempt to make contact with the metallic giants to gain help, you enabled your parroting capabilities.

* Humans have the stunning ability to mimic sounds and specific noise frequencies, at levels other earthen animals, especially mammals, cannot. Using this ability, you managed to copycat the grinding and chattering noises coming from the vocal mass of bug-bots.

* [S/O]: “¿Krrt-grrut vvurrr chechch?”

* Hardshell: “¿Buzzzz vert-tet-brrrz, Erreech?”

* [S/O]: “¿Erreech?”

* Hardshell: “¡VRREE BUZZZ-EECH CLICKLICKIK!”

* The contact went well, unbeknownst to you, and the successful communication meant that you might actually have a chance at escape, or finding a hospital!

* Congrats! You are now [Tiny Bug Child]! You have no idea what they were speaking about, unaware that they were contemplating how to execute you, but you successfully managed to evade death by being cute and cuddly! People say curiosity killed the cat, but it evidently saves the naive human-who-fell-into-an-insect-cult-meeting!

* Hardshell, the Insecticon you nearly landed on top of, begins to lift you out of the rubble, and place you down upon a makeshift stone table, partially destroyed by the collapse. The others—including Wingflap, Bombshell, Shrapnel, Blockhead, and Kickback—gather closely around you, cooing and chirping in their weird language again.

* This was, evidently, how you became the new Queen of the hive, though you didn’t know it, and managed to befriend your way through the entire enclosed community and worm into the spark of every Insecticon, though they were very few in number.

* You made easy friends with Bombshell, and remained close with him up until his untimely death by Bulkheads hammer fist. He would often lay atop the Jasper cliffside with you, and make out shapes in the clouds, constellations in the stars—regaling to you tales of the Old Cybertron, when his own kind weren’t so despised, and were respected as viable assets and allies amongst those with forms like and unlike their own—until the Autobot Elitists ensured they were seen as ugly and malformed, made to hide away in the shadows and step away from society for ‘the greater good’.

* It’s how you came to hate the Autobots—and Decepticons—for all they had done, to their planet and yours, and to your friends as well.

* Your mimicry slowly turned into actual speech patterns and recognition. Repetitive sound signals were a key portion of Archaic Insecticon speech, which made it easy to recognize simple words or phrases, each indicated by a set of whirs, clicks, or beeps.

* Now that you could actively communicate with most of the hive, it was far easier to make friends with even the hardiest of bots.

* Hardshell, of course, was tough to crack. At your constant insistance, he spoke with you once or twice, and made sure to acknowledge your presence when in the room, as well as save you a seat at the underground pub every other weekend. It wasn’t actually a pub per-say, rather a dugout chamber with smooth walls and some stone slabs insert for seating, where the cons enjoyed engex they could sneak off the Nemesis from time-to-time.

* After awhile, he warms up to you, welcoming you back to the hive every day after work, standing alongside his multiple siblings, and pushing others aside to get to hold you first.

* Meanwhile this all happens, they still don’t know what a human is. Their simple understanding of earth comes only from what they’ve seen on the highway from the cliffside, or from video footage of the Autobot pests on the Nemesis. Due to their bulky size and noisiness, they’re banned from most human-inhabited areas.

* Don’t doubt that some of them have attempted to follow their [S/O] home. They have. And some of them won’t stop trying. It’s been more than one awkward encounter between you and some teens to get them to realize they could get you in trouble.

* You all eat [dessert] together sometimes, made with energon supplements for ‘The Boys™️’, with some good ol’ 25-something-kg of sugar mixed in.

* The boys were worried when you didn’t show up for a week due to hospitalization via severe food poisoning medical coma.

* When Arachnid finally returned to Earth, and her fight against Arcee had proceeded about as well as expected, she located the hive and proceeded to force them to engage in business with Megatron. She believed that by implementing her own soldiers amongst the ranks, she’d be better equipped to backstab Megatron when the time came.

* She was undoubtably surprised when Hardshell and some others adamantly refused to take part in her plans at first, until she enforced their compliance through the hive-mind.

*When she learned of your existence, and the very gauge of your importance to her former hive, she came at you with full force.

*The Insecticons were fully unprepared to deal with a fight between their small [S/O] and an extremely angry ex-Queen. In refute, they returned you to the surface without so much as a goodbye, and begged you to escape before Arachnid scented you out.

* It was soon after these events that you learned of Breakdown’s death, Bulkhead’s coma, and Bombshell’s demise due to the combined effects of a substance called Tox-En and injuries sustained during his battle with Bulkhead. It broke you inside to learn there was nothing you could have done to help, but you refused to disobey their pleas to stay away for awhile.

* At the hive, Arachnid rules supreme. Being able to control the hive-mind was a feat a human was incapable of achieving, only Cybertronians able to easily access the imbedded chain of command.

* Hardshell mourned the loss of a true friend—a small, squishy human—but a friend nonetheless.

* Wingflap and Kickback went through a collection of memories you’d left behind with them. Pictures and small objects gifted over the years, a small treasure trove of important parts of their lives, now without you in them.

* Shrapnel stims a lot more now, and has nervous tics that he believes are the result of the loss of his dear friend. He knows you aren’t dead, least not yet, but he knows that you’ll likely never come back.

* Blockhead, as dumb as everybody thinks he is, is actually very emotionally intelligent. He has a way with words he barely understands, and [S/O] acted as a big support for someone like him. Without them now, he can no longer function like normal, and now has nobody left to talk to.

* Arachnid could care less. She absolutely despises [S/O], and would smite them for all she cares. You matter little to her, and only worry her for the loyalty and capacity of her troops.

* It isn’t until the Energon Eaters appear that everything turns completely south.

* [S/O] finally builds up enough courage to march themselves back down to the mine, and demand to meet Arachnid face-to-faceplate.

* The desert is hot, Nevada is hotter, and the trek down the highway seems endless and tedious. You pass by 5 interstate signs on your way to the hive, and count the steps it takes to reach the entrance, parched by the time you make it there.

* In all your sweaty glory, you, [S/O], make your way down the carved pathway into the mineshaft, dark and cramped—just as you left it.

* But everything is exactly as it was left, not an item out of place. The entire hive was empty, including of those you cared about. Their rooms are full of memories, and their energon cubes still lie in a corner, collecting dust and grime.

* The search seems profitable, yet it leaves you with nothing, and the emptiness of the hive echoes around you, and in all the chambers, through the cavern walls of every room.

* You know they’re gone, that they have left without you, and without so much as a simple passing note.

* Perhaps someday you’d find them, hiding away in another Jasper mine, but you never would.

* In their haze of a hive mind, they barely even remember the face of the human they left behind. A long line across the moon—stretching on for miles—and a vampire on a false throne, draining the lifeblood from their veins, and the image of [S/O] from their minds.

———————————————————————

✨ Hope you enjoyed ✨

#writing #transformers x reader #transformers imagine #transformers headcanon #tfp insecticons #transformers #transformers prime #tfp decepticons #x reader #tfp #insecticons #platonic reader

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hellsbellschime · 4 years ago

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Why Will Dany Burn King’s Landing?

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Although most fans of A Song of Ice and Fire and Game of Thrones understandably aren't keen on revisiting the sloppy final season of the TV series, season 8 of the show is actually home to some of the most interesting indications of where the book series may or may not be going.

Season 8 was largely so confusing because the series was attempting to get across the finish line as fast as possible, but many of the messier aspects of the show were also clearly driven by the fact that Game of Thrones had already significantly deviated from the story that George RR Martin was trying to tell. So, when the time came for the TV series to end, the show had to push its characters into their decided endgames despite the fact that many alterations to their prior arcs now made those endings somewhat nonsensical.

George has already directly stated that the broad strokes of the ending will be the same in the books, but I think it stands to reason that the most controversial aspect of the series end, Daenerys' decision to burn King's Landing, will likely be significantly different within the books.

There are a lot of theories about how Dany's dark, or at least slightly darker, turn is going to go in the novels. Many fans unsuprisingly have come up with speculations that alleviate most of Dany's responsibility for the destruction of the city, but I think the notion that someone else will burn King's Landing or that Daenerys will burn the capitol by accident are extremely unlikely.

I can't envision a world where George RR Martin lets any of his main characters off the hook for the most destructive choice in the entire series, and frankly it has always been completely in character for Daenerys to justify any amount of devastation and destruction if it's in service of reclaiming the Iron Throne. And honestly, despite the fact that Game of Thrones retconned most of Dany's darkest book decisions and characteristics, even within the TV series itself, burning King's Landing was largely a logical extension of Dany's habit of killing anybody who gives even the slightest indication that they might not follow her.

However, it also seems undeniable that the burning of King's Landing is almost certainly going to come about due to different circumstances. And, it seems extremely likely that the omission of one significant character in the books, Young Griff, will be one of the key differences in the destruction of King's Landing and the entire Targaryen dynasty.

While I don't think Young Griff's non-Targaryen heritage is nearly as undeniable as many other fans do, one thing that seems very probable is that regardless of whether or not Aegon is really Aegon Targaryen, Daenerys will not believe that he is the long lost son of Rhaegar Targaryen.

Cersei becoming Dany's greatest rival never really made sense considering how few legitimate supporters she had. But on the other hand, someone like Young Griff, who has spent his entire life training to become the best king possible, seems like the kind of person who will likely win at least a significant amount of support among the lords of Westeros and the common people, who at this point would honestly prefer anyone other than Cersei anyway.

But, if Dany arrives in Westeros and there is a Targaryen who she doesn't believe is a Targaryen already sitting on the Iron Throne with the backing of a multitude of kingdoms as well as the common people, clearly she's going to be pissed. And obviously she's going to have a huge axe to grind with the boy who she believes has usurped her throne.

Dany has always been prone to violence to begin with, but now that she seems to have decided to go full fire and blood, it's not that difficult to figure out how she is likely going to handle Aegon the Sixth. But, I think that the penultimate episode of Game of Thrones may have already explained exactly how that is going to happen.

Like most fans, as soon as any information about the final season of Game of Thrones was released, I thought about what it could possibly be referring to or what it would mean. And one aspect of season 8 that seemed to not quite fit into anything within the rest of the series was the title of the episode "The Bells".

What initially interested me about that name was that not only was it the title for arguably the most important episode in the entire show, but that it referred to something that has a lot of thematic relevance within the books but that has been barely mentioned within the TV series. Bells are mentioned constantly in A Song of Ice and Fire, but they've only gotten a few nods within Game of Thrones. And I was even more surprised that, when the show actually aired, the ringing of the bells didn't seem to be hugely relevant to the episode itself either.

Yes, the bells do seem to trigger Dany's decision to burn the entire city down, but they aren't important before or after that, and when there are so many possible titles that are more connected to the series and the story, it still seems strange that "The Bells" was called "The Bells".

However, while bells are a bit of a perennial theme within A Song of Ice and Fire, I think one particular bell-themed subplot might be the exact history that is going to repeat itself when King's Landing burns to the ground, and I think that Daenerys might defeat Aegon in the second Battle of the Bells.

Jon Connington is another fantastic character who was completely omitted from the TV series, but it's interesting that the most fervent supporter of House Targaryen who was on the front lines fighting for Rhaegar in Robert's Rebellion seems to believe that the war wasn't actually lost in the Trident, but in Stoney Sept when Jon failed to root out Robert Baratheon.

JonCon's perspective on Rhaegar and on the entire war is undeniably warped, and in retrospect House Targaryen's dynasty was always destined to fail. Rhaegar may not have had the violent impulses of Aerys, but a dude who lets the entire realm devolve into chaos because he really needs to impregnate a teenager who is dubiously consenting at best was not going to bring peace and prosperity back to the realm. And in a broader sense, the Targaryen values of isolationism, superiority, subjugation, and consolidation of power seem to indicate that no matter what happened, as long as the Targaryens stuck to their beliefs then they were never going to hold on to the Seven Kingdoms.

But still, it seems incredibly important that Jon Connington believed that the Targaryens lost the Iron Throne in the Battle of the Bells, and it's even more important that he's almost certainly wrong. A Song of Ice and Fire has been pretty consistent in its portrayal of brutality. It has proven to be an effective tool in the short term, but it seems to have disastrous results in the long run. And, given that George RR Martin is an ardent pacifist, it's obvious that JonCon's belief that if he had only been crueler and more violent in Stoney Sept then the war would have been won for House Targaryen is a belief that is bound to be undermined.

The fact that Prince Aegon's greatest Westerosi supporter is so strong in this belief though seems to be an obvious setup for a clash in the future. It seems unlikely that the boy who Varys wanted to be the perfect king would be as brutal as someone like Tywin Lannister, and honestly, most people are not that violent nor do they believe that the only goal is winning no matter the cost.

But, it also seems to be a setup for a clash between Young Griff and Daenerys. After all, while most people wouldn't do absolutely anything to get what they believed was their birthright, Dany absolutely would. She internally justifies every action that she takes in service of getting the Iron Throne, and there doesn't seem to be a limit to the violence that she would excuse if it meant taking what she believes is rightfully hers.

The descriptions of the Battle of the Bells in Jon Connington's POV chapters are all very interesting, and it's telling that even in these few glimpses into his mind, this battle is so vitally important. But, Jon's memories are at their most interesting in the chapter "The Griffin Reborn," when he discusses his failings with Myles Toyne.

Jon tells himself that even Tywin Lannister couldn't have done anything more than what he did, but Toyne disagrees. Blackheart says “Lord Tywin would not have bothered with a search. He would have burned that town and every living creature in it. Men and boys, babes at the breast, noble knights and holy septons, pigs and whores, rats and rebels, he would have burned them all. When the fires guttered out and only ash and cinders remained, he would have sent his men in to find the bones of Robert Baratheon."

And while Myles is undoubtedly right that this is exactly what Tywin Lannister would have done, the particular description of the violence sounds undeniably Targaryen in nature. It literally sounds like fire and blood. And frankly, it sounds pretty close to what Daenerys did in Game of Thrones and is likely to do in King's Landing in A Song of Ice and Fire.

Conceptually, it's actually quite simple. Jon Connington will fight the Battle of the Bells once again, except this time he's going to be on the side of the new Robert Baratheon. If Young Griff is a remotely capable ruler who wins the hearts of the people, then it's entirely believable that the citizens of King's Landing would give him quarter when the dragon queen comes looking for him. And given Daenerys' typical patience level, it seems incredibly likely that Dany would just burn the traitors and find the bones of the usurper in the ashes.

Jon Connington has returned to Westeros operating under the belief that he is going to have to be tougher and more brutal to ensure that Young Griff ascends to the Iron Throne like Rhaegar never did, and to ensure that he's never overthrown like the Mad King was. So then, it would be a pretty perfect twist of fate if everything that Jon believes now winds up being proven wrong and he finds himself and the boy who he has vowed to defend to his last breath relying on the kindness of strangers to hide them from the Targaryen ruler and her armies who are searching for them.

And ironically, Jon will not do what he has set out to do, succeed for the son where he failed for the father, precisely because the enemy that he's facing now will be ready and willing to use the brutality that JonCon originally shied away from in Stoney Sept. If Young Griff and the elder Griffon were actually dealing with a rival who was similar to the younger Jon Connington, someone who wasn't willing to wreak havoc and destruction in order to find their enemy at all costs, then they might have a chance at at least surviving.

But, because Dany is the type of person who serves up fire and blood to anyone she thinks even might be her enemy, any of King Aegon's protectors will be treated with the brutality that Jon currently believes is necessary to win, and Young Griff will be killed anyway. And of course, while Daenerys will almost certainly win the battle against Aegon the Sixth, her decision to be as violent and swift as possible in order to root out her enemies will also lead to her ultimate downfall and a truly irrevocable end to the Targaryen dynasty.

Thematically, the repetition of past mistakes, the false belief that great violence in service of a supposedly greater good is worthwhile, and the false belief that brutality is strength, all fits in well with A Song of Ice and Fire and George RR Martin's political point of view. But obviously, given that Aegon Targaryen, Jon Connington, and their entire branch of the story was omitted in Game of Thrones, none of this could have ever happened in the TV series. And perhaps the title of the penultimate episode was a subtle nod to the climax that the writers know will be coming in the books.

#got #asoiaf #anti daenerys targaryen #aegon targaryen #young griff #jon connington #asoiaf meta #got meta #my videos

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flooffybits · 4 years ago

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Silver Lining

Idol: Jennie Kim (Blackpink)

marshmallows: Hey there! I've a fan of your work for quite some time now. It literally one of the best there is, and the angst ones, I'm just a sucker for it. If it's okay...may I request a part 3 of too broken to be fixed? Maybe with some more angst and a happy ending? I know you just posted the 2nd part but it's just that good :) it would mean a lot. Thanks author!

- Hi floofy, I really loved too broken to be fixed could I request part 3 of the series. Thank you. Hope you are having a good day:).

- I just read - talking to the moon, and it's so good. My heart can't seem to handle the angst. I was hoping you would make up a part 3 where you let them get back? I mean, it's totally fine if you don't. But I truly think, you're readers would want a part three. Anyways, i was dropping by to inform you how I loved your work. Have a good day.

A/n: as you can see, heavily requested and very specific with a happy ending lol i hope you guys enjoy

part 1 || part 2

☕buy me a coffee☕

Breathing in the fresh air and slowly letting it out let nostalgia wash over the brunette. The sound of waves crashing against the shore, being one of the few things that met her ears, along with the few families that decided to come and relax at the beach.

It's been a long while since she's been here.

Been a while since she’s been home.

After her schedule cleared and having nothing much to do at home, it didn’t take long for Jennie to pack her bags and tell the girls that she would be leaving for a while and just take a short break for herself.

And for once, they don’t question her.

Jennie’s changed over the past few years.

While she was still the same loving and fierce girl that they’ve grown to know and love, she was more timid in a way, more careful with the people she crossed paths with just because she doesn’t want history repeating itself.

Especially not when she was still hung up on the one person she let slip through her fingertips.

But she was better now. She doesn’t cry late into the night nor does she leave her room with bags under her eyes because she was able to let herself heal after coming to terms that she wasn’t going to get any better if she just stayed there and did nothing.

She’s let herself grieve, and now she is in the process of picking herself up, at her own pace.

It didn’t matter that it’s taking her this long.

She had her own healing process and her girls were more than supportive, trusting in her words if this really was a way for her to get better.

She wasn’t expecting anything coming back to New Zealand.

Sure, you came here years prior, but she didn’t even know if you had stayed or decided to go elsewhere. She doesn’t even know if you were even in a relationship or not. For all she knows, you’ve moved on with your life and could possibly be married or something.

Four years is a long time after all.

But the voice that calls her name has her pausing in her tracks and she slowly turns around to meet your surprised and confused expression as you stare at the girl you’ve spent at least half of your life with.

She isn't sure why you're here or why you even decided to acknowledge her presence. Your last memory together wasn't all that ideal, after all.

"Jennie, what are you doing here?" Your voice is soft, curious, and Jennie mentally curses herself for letting her brain believe that this was a way of the universe telling her that you were both okay when she knows you aren't.

At least she believes that you aren't after she screwed up your relationship.

"I was just feeling a little… homesick, I guess." She shrugs, digging her hands into her jacket, and you take notice of how it’s the same jacket you’ve lost throughout your relationship with the idol.

The same jacket she’d claim to hold whenever you were far apart because it felt and smelt like you. The same jacket she wept into during the first year you’d left.

"I needed a little bit of reminder as to why I'm doing what I'm doing." She mumbles and you slowly nod your head in understanding.

Of course, you were always so quick to understand what she tried to say without going into full detail.

"What about you? I thought you didn't like the beaches all too well." She inquires, a little awkward as she shifts from one foot to another, and you shrug your shoulders.

"I come here when things get a little too hectic. As annoying as the sand can get, the sound of the waves and the weather makes up for it." You explain with a timid smile, one she can't help but copy. "One of the best places to think." She quips, drawing light laughter from your lips.

It's a sound that has her whole body shutting down and then rebooting right after. Despite the years apart, she had to admit that she fucking missed the sound of your voice and laughter.

It was always the same laugh that made butterflies swarm her stomach and her heart to skip a couple of beats.

It was like a breath of fresh air, a warm blanket being wrapped around her after a cold day.

It was both warm and comforting.

"Well, the beach was one of your favorite places to go to." You nod to the ocean and Jennie stays quiet while you watch the waves crashing against the shore. "Hopefully you're still able to go there while in Korea."

Turning back to the shorter woman, you had to tuck your hair behind your ear as the wind tried to muss it up. It's grown longer, she notes. And when she takes another good look at your eyes, she notices that they look a tad bit softer than she remembers. Even with the pain you've been through, it didn't look like you allowed your heart to harden.

And it relieves her.

"How are the girls?"

The question snapped her out of her train of thought and the brunette hummed as she looked at her shoes instead. "They're doing alright. Jisoo unnie is in another drama, then Rosie is releasing another song soon while Lisa has more dance videos ready to be put out." She lists off and you smile, knowing that your friends were at least doing what they loved.

"That's great. I hope your own modeling thing is going well for you, too."

You were aware?

Of course, she knew that she was everywhere. But so were the other three. It was a little odd how you'd ask about them while already knowing what she was doing. They were always alongside each other despite different activities, so your words made her furrow her brows a bit in confusion.

"As fun as it is, it gets tiring after a while. Breaks are always necessary." She replies and when she glances at you, she sees the smile reaching your lips. "At least you know when to give yourself a break."

After that, silence hangs in the air between you and Jennie doesn't know what to say.

What could she say?

She never expected to see you again. She didn't even expect you to be talking to her.

So as you both stood there, staring at each other, she felt her fingers twitch inside her pockets before she let out a breath just as you opened your mouth.

"I think I should get going."

Panic suddenly went through her at your announcement. And before she can think, the words come flying out of her mouth.

"Stay, please."

Those were the exact same words she wanted to say all those years ago. But the haunting memory of your departure was the only thing she can remember.

But now, she actually had the chance to talk to you and say everything she’s been meaning to before you boarded that damn flight.

Jennie watches as your body tenses, probably understanding where this conversation might lead. But the tension is gone as soon as it arrives, so she has a clue that maybe this wouldn't be so bad.

With a soft exhale, you nod your head before gesturing for her to fall in step with you. And she’s quick to follow your lead, walking by the shore with you only a couple feet beside her.

The walk was quiet, Jennie seemingly trying to find the right words to say while you patiently wait for her to begin. And when she’s finally ready, her eyes remain on her shoes as she licks her lips and draws in a steadying breath.

“I wanted to apologize… for everything.” She begins, making your purse your lips, but you don’t say anything to let her continue, sensing that she has a lot to get off her chest. “I know it seems dumb because it’s been years since then, but I never got to properly apologize to you and even pushed you even further away instead of saying I was sorry.” She sighs, running her fingers through her hair in frustration.

“I wasn’t the best girlfriend, but it honestly shouldn’t have taken losing you for me to realize what I did wrong.” She finally says and she hates how she still can’t seem to get over the fact that she was a crybaby when tears start welling in her eyes that she had to pause and suck in a deep breath.

The sound catches your attention and you slowly come to a halt, finally facing the girl as she stops too. While she’s trying to recompose herself, you try to speak, but she’s already raising a hand, and the pleading look on her face makes you shut your mouth because she isn’t done.

“Not being your girlfriend, maybe I could have dealt with that. But I lost you altogether and that… that wasn’t something I could stomach and I’ve been carrying that guilt my whole life.” She sniffles, swiping at the tear that managed to slip down her cheek. “I took advantage of you and it wasn’t right. I basically brought you to Korea just to leave you alone, and god knows that was much worse than just letting you stay here. I basically led you on.”

“Jennie-”

“Don’t defend me even though I know it was your choice.” She cuts you off with a meaningful look and you blink a few times before slowly nodding your head. “What you told me back then was a wake up call for me.” She breathes out, crossing her arms. “Yeah, I did need to change because that’s part of growing up. But the change I made wasn’t for the better. I only made myself into the worst version of myself.” She says with a heavy sigh while you watch her continue to struggle with her words.

“I fucked up, and I know that I shouldn’t be asking for you forgiveness after everything I put you through, but I just want you to know that I haven’t stopped thinking about you ever since. Maybe there are days that I don’t show it, but you’re always still there, in the very back of my mind because there’s just no way I can forget someone as important as you.”

You were quiet as she rambled, letting her words echo in your ears and all you can focus on is the undeniable sincerity in her voice. Even though you could tell her that you probably didn’t feel the same intensity as you did for her before, she did hold an important place in your heart that no one else could ever fill.

“Jen, did you think that maybe I’d be with someone at this point?” You ask carefully and Jennie quickly shakes her head. “I wasn’t expecting to see you at all! And even so, I didn’t think you’d even bother talking to me if you did see me.” She explains with a frown and you can hear the honesty in her words. “I just… I did a lot of thinking when I was alone and you deserved to hear at least my apology.” She mumbles and you let out a breath before slowly nodding your head.

“Even if it wasn’t my intention, I’m happy to see you again.” Her voice is small and your eyes soften as you stare at the girl who once held your whole world in the palm of her small yet caring hands. “You do know that we can’t go back to the way things were, right?”

The brunette lifts her gaze and a steady smile forms on her lips as she nods her head. “I know. And I honestly wasn’t counting on it, but coming here brought me to you, so I’d like to think that maybe it means something.”

You were a bit taken aback by her honesty, but at the same time, it reminds you of the first few times she’s managed to catch your attention. It forces a smile to overcome your features as you gestured for her to follow again.

“I wouldn’t count on it.” She blinks as you look over your shoulder to meet her eyes again and she finds the playful little look dancing in those bright orbs. “But you have always been an optimistic dreamer.”

Her lips form a smile as she hurries after you, walking a little bit closer this time while still respecting your boundaries. “Well, I’ll be here for a month, so I guess that’s enough time to get to know you all over again.” You hum in acknowledgement and she bites her lip before facing ahead.

And while she thinks you don’t hear the last part she’s mumbled more to herself, you bite back a smile as the wind caresses your skin.

“And maybe try to fall in love again.”

#girl group #girl group scenarios #girl group imagines #blackpink #blackpink imagines #blackpink scenarios #blackpink x reader #blackpink jennie #jennie blackpink #jennie #jennie kim #jennie scenarios #jennie imagines

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deannaroxannewrites · 3 years ago

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Tropetember Day 7 - Mutual Pining / Requited/Unrequited Love / Angst with a happy ending

My boys

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x GN!Reader

Fandom: Criminal Minds

Rating: Teen and up

TW: Angst (all of the angst), Angst with a happy ending, Witness Protection

AN: Day 7 of @tropetember. Another Hotch story that could be expanded into a small series. Enjoy the angst (and fluff because I CANNOT HELP MYSELF)

You've been looking to spending a quiet day with your boys, until a phone call turns your world upside down.

Find this story on Ao3 here.

Word Count: 1.6k

You were in the middle of pottering around the kitchen putting your groceries away when the phone rang.

Glancing at it, you realise it’s Aaron. Why would he be ringing you right now? Jack’s soccer game wouldn’t have been finished for very long and they usually got a treat before coming to visit you.

You answer with a smile, you were looking forward to spending the day with your boys.

“Hi sweetie, what can I do for you?” You ask.

Aaron says your name and his voice shakes. You instantly stop what you’re doing. Something is wrong. Something really bad is happening. You can tell.

“Scratch.” He takes a shuddering breath. “Scratch was at Jack’s game.”

You gasp and panic floods through you.

“Is he ok? Are you both ok? He didn’t get to either of you did he?”

"No, he didn't."

There's a pause and you feel your heart start to calm. At least they're OK, although you can't figure out what's happening. Unfortunately, your relief at them both being unharmed is immediately destroyed.

"Jack and I are being put into witness protection."

You hear the glass you were holding smash as it connects with the marble floor of the kitchen. It's funny, you feel like a spectator in your own body. The only other thing you're aware of is that you feel like you can't breathe.

Aaron calls your name a few times but you're hyper fixated on one thing he says. 'Jack and I.' Not we. Why hadn't he said we?

"Can I not come too?" Your voice is small. Lost. "If this madman is following Jack, he'll know who I am, Aaron."

You hear him exhale.

"I know. I tried to get the Marshals to offer you the choice of coming with us." You imagine he's scrubbing his hand down his face in frustration. "They said that, since Scratch's focus is the team, and I will no longer be around or know what's happening, you will no longer be at risk." He lets out a scoff.

Tears silently trace down your face. Your world was ending but, no matter how much you wanted to beg and scream and demand they stay, this was already a done deal. Jack's safety was the most important thing in the world and you wouldn't dare risk it for your selfish desires.

"OK." You take a moment to breathe and clear your throat. "Can you do something for me?"

"Of course."

"Tell Jack I love him? Give him a big hug and kiss and tell him that I'll see him when this is over?"

That breaks him, and he quietly sobs out your name.

"You're going to be OK. Both of you. And I'll be here waiting." You take a shaky breath. "Is there anything I can do?"

"I'm putting everything into your name. I don't mind if you move into the apartment or if you rent it out and put everything in storage. Just try to hold onto the keepsakes and Jack's stuff."

"I've got it. Don't worry. It's in good hands."

"The very best." He gives a shaky laugh. "I love you so much. I'm so sorry."

"It's not your fault Aaron. God, I love you so much."

You both go quiet, knowing you don't have long until the Marshals disconnect his number.

"I can't ask you to wait for me." He tells you. It makes a sob break through your restraint. "That would be selfish of me. Just know that I love you. And, once this is over, we'll see you again."

"I know, it's OK. I love you."

"I…."

The line goes dead and, like the glass spread across the floor, you break.

---------

The weeks following are hazy in your memory. You imagine it's not totally dissimilar to a bereavement. After all, you'd discussed seeing each other again, but you both knew that there was a chance it may not happen. Scratch had been evading law enforcement for months with ease. He was watching Jack and no-one even knew. It didn't bode well.

Time continued to pass. Eventually, from around the 6th month mark, people started offering to set you up with friends/relatives/colleagues. You weren't getting any younger they kept saying. You can't miss out on the rest of your life.

It was something you were well aware of. You were only a couple of years younger than Aaron so you were moving past your prime, particularly if you wanted to have kids of your own. You couldn't do it though. It just felt wrong when Aaron was out there alone somewhere with a new name and identity. How could you move on? Instead, you focussed on work, even getting a promotion for your efforts.

You didn't move into the apartment, you couldn't bring yourself to. You and Aaron had been discussing moving, and potentially purchasing a proper house with a garden Jack play soccer in in the future, mere days before everything happened. It was just another thing that didn't feel right. Instead, you moved the important things out to Dave's basement. He had the space and it would be much safer than a storage locker. It also helped sooth his guilt over the fact that none of the team were supposed to have much contact with you to try and keep you off Scratch's hotlist.

Since you didn't need the income from the apartment, you instead approached a charity who worked with women and families escaping domestic violence. You'd offered them the apartment at a reduced rate for short term lets that rolled month by month, with potential to go up to a year. The plan was to give people time to get back on their feet and regain their independence in a safe and secure environment.

You'd had two small families in so far. Both had moved on after securing jobs with good salaries and new full time accommodation. They were both keeping you updated about how they and their kids were doing, and you were happy that you were able to help them even just a little. It was empty at the moment and you were busy organising some basic maintenance and were going to repaint some of the rooms to freshen it up.

You'd just been on the phone with Derek, who'd offered to do the small repair jobs you needed doing, when someone knocked at the door.

Glancing at the clock and seeing it was nearly 9pm, you paused and texted Derek as a safety precaution. It was probably nothing, but better safe than sorry.

The knock sounded again, a little more urgent this time, and you hustled to the door to open it.

When you realised who was on the other side, your knees gave way.

There in front of you, looking almost exactly the same as when he left, was Aaron with Jack peeking out from behind him.

Realising what was happening, he reached out to steady you and you threw yourself into his arms, sobbing as if your life depended on it.

He held you just tightly, rocking from side to side until you pulled back. You lower yourself into a crouch and hold your arms out to Jack, who collides with you with enough force to knock you on your behind.

You both laugh as you land on the floor, a light, carefree combination of sounds that tinkles around the room as you press kisses all over his face. Aaron bobs down to join the hug before helping you both to your feet and guiding you all to your sofa.

"I'm so glad you're both back" you tell them. Jack is snuggled into your lap and you're snuggled into Aaron. Declarations of love pass easily and frequently between the three of you and it fills you with warmth.

You spend the evening catching up with them. Apparently Scratch had been caught at the end of last week but it had taken this long for word to get through to the Marshals and for them to organise transferring them home.

Jack tells you over dinner (pizza, Jack picked) about his school and all the things he's learnt since the last time he saw you. Aaron tells you about his cover job as a law clerk in the backwater town of Nowhere, Iowa. In return, you tell them about how you got promoted at work and what you've done with the apartment in their absence. Aaron's eyes shine with pride as you explain the cause and you know it's one that's close to his heart.

Before you know it, it's almost midnight and Aaron is suggesting they go back to the hotel that they've been set up in for the next few days. You won't allow that though. They'll be lucky if they're allowed to leave your sight ever again.

You all brush your teeth together in the bathroom while joking around before getting sorted and all clambering into your bed together.

Wrapped in Aaron's arms, with Jack tucked up against your side, you finally feel whole for the first time since that dreaded phone call.

"My boys," you gently sigh. "I love you both".

Aaron presses a soft kiss to your forehead, and you let the sound of their breathing calm you as you fall into the deepest nights sleep you've had in forever.

Even better, they're still there when you wake up.

#Tropetember #fanfiction #Criminal Minds #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner x y/n #aaron hotchner x you #angst #angst with a happy ending #witness protection #jack hotchner

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agerefandom · 4 years ago

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Only Heaven I’ll Be Sent To

Fandom: Resident Evil VIII/Village

Words: 4,000

Characters: regressor!reader, cg!Alcina Dimitrescu, Bela Dimitrescu (other Dimitrescu sisters mentioned).

Content Warnings: Graphic descriptions of violence. CGLRE terminology/parental caregiver terms (Mommy). Diaper mentions. Firearms, knives, and vampirism. Reader gets injured (but cared for afterwards). Minor character death. Blood. Eldritch biology and limited insect horror. Fem reader (uses she/her pronouns).

Author’s Notes: Y’all are clearly hungry for caregiver Lady Dimitrescu, and I hear you! I’m planning a fluffy follow-up fanfiction with a happy reader getting babied by Alcina, where there is no blood and violence, but first… we have to take care of Ethan Winters. So that’s what this is. Enjoy!

You come to consciousness slowly, the strands of a dream still clinging to you. The memory is already fading, but you remember feeling cold. Wandering a frozen wasteland, lost and alone.

It’s a relief to breathe in the warm air of your bedroom. The fire has burned down to embers, but the windows keep out the cold winter of the mountains around the castle where you live. The rooms are always kept warm for the comfort of your big sisters.

You yawn and stretch your arms over your head, wiggling your toes against the soft sheets of your bed as you shake off the lingering fatigue. You were dressed in a onesie for the night, with a short built-in skirt, and you don’t really feel like a baby right now. Today, you want to run around and explore the castle on certain legs.

You slide out of the bed and make an unhappy sound as the cold stone meets your bare feet. You quickly make your way over to the heavy wardrobe that towers on the wall across from your bed. Far too tall for you, it was made to fit Mommy’s dresses, but you liked climbing in it so much that Mommy brought it to your room one night while you were sleeping, and filled it with your own outfits.

You reach up to the handle and pull the doors open, looking up at the many dresses and onesies that fill the wardrobe. It’s winter right now, so there’s a whole section of fur-lined dresses that will keep you warm if you want to play with Mommy outside. You don’t do that often, because your sisters get jealous, but Mommy is really good at making snowforts that you can climb inside, and you like playing with her in the snow.

For today, you pick out a simple ruffled black dress that comes down to your knees. Mommy can do your hair with black ribbons and crow feathers, and you’ll blend in with your sisters’ dark dresses.

Humming to yourself, you bring the new outfit over to the statue in the corner. The door to the bathroom is hidden in an alcove, and you have to push the statue’s elbow to open it. This seemed odd when you first moved into this room, but now it’s just another part of your daily routine. The castle is full of tricks and hidden passages, and you still haven’t explored all of them.

You slip past the statue into the revealed doorway, and dump your clothes on the floor as you rid yourself of the onesie and the diaper underneath. Baby stuff! You’re not a baby today.

You replace the diaper with a pair of soft bloomers, and the onesie with the black dress. It has a line of buttons that run up your spine, and you can’t quite reach them all, so you leave a few undone and decide you’ll ask one of your sisters to help. Mommy has been busy a lot for the last few days, so you don’t know if you’ll see her today. You hope so, though. You miss her.

You pull a pair of stockings on, sighing happily as your toes are finally protected from the cold tile floor. The rest of the bathroom visit is boring, brushing your teeth and washing your face. One of your big sisters will brush your hair: hopefully Bela, she tugs your scalp the least.

Once you’re all dressed, you skip out of the bathroom and slip on a pair of shoes. They’re flats, because you’re too young to walk in heels, but they click on the stone floors and make you feel like a little tap dancer. And they have bats printed on the sides in white, which makes you happy.

You run into the hallway, letting the golden door to your room close behind you.

This castle used to confuse you, with all its winding hallways and grand staircases. You would get lost whenever Mommy wasn’t holding your hand, and one of your sisters would find you and drag you back to your room. They didn’t like you very much at first, but they’ve gotten nicer. Daniela reads to you sometimes, and Bela plays pretend when you ask her. Cassandra is… Cassandra, and she tries to feed you lots of nasty things, but she also likes to do your makeup. So she’s okay.

The four of you cuddle sometimes, when Mommy’s away and the castle is a little chilly. They like your body heat, and you like the contact.

Through the years, you’ve gotten comfortable both with your big sisters and with the castle itself. It’s second nature to dodge through the secret passage to the staircase into the main foyer, peering around for any of the other castle inhabitants. Mommy gave up on the servants again last week, so it’s just you and your family members right now. Unless you want to go down into the basement and play with the remains, who stumble and hiss and take care of the rats. They don’t attack you, only intruders, but they aren’t very much fun to play with.

“Mommy? Sisters?” you call out into the hall, tapping one foot against the ground.

For a few moments, there’s nothing. Then Mommy ducks through the door behind you, fully dressed with her lipstick on. Maybe she’s already been out today.

“Sweetheart?” Mommy rushes over and kneels on the stone floor to embrace you. “What are you doing out of your room?”

“Hungry,” you say. “Missed you.”

“I missed you too, little one.” Mommy draws back and puts both hands on your shoulders. She makes you feel so small. You almost wish you’d worn a onesie today. When you’re a baby, Mommy carries you everywhere and never lets you out of her arms. That sounds nice, especially when you missed her so much. “Listen to me, sweetheart.”

Mommy looks… serious. You blink and try to focus. What is that look in her eyes? It’s so unfamiliar. Could it be worry? No, Mommy doesn’t worry about anything.

“I need you to go back to your room and lock the door, okay? I’ll bring you food soon, but you need to stay there.” She isn’t blinking as she stares into your eyes. “Some prey has escaped. Your sisters will handle him swiftly, but he is armed. I don’t want you getting hurt.”

“Okay, Mommy.”

This isn’t the first time this has happened. Sometimes, Hunters come to the castle and try and hurt your family, and you have to wait in your room. They bring knives and guns, but they can’t hurt any of the others. You aren’t like your sisters, you’re fragile. So Mommy keeps you safe.

“I’ll carry you there, little one. And remember, don’t you leave.”

“Yes, Mommy.”

Mommy wraps her arms around you, and the ground drops away. Settled on her hip, you cling to her side. Mommy runs hot like you, not like your sisters. When you lay on her chest, you can hear her pulse, a rapid double-beat. Your sisters don’t have a heartbeat, but you can hear the fluttering wings that fill their chest if you hold your breath and listen closely.

You like Mommy’s warmth, and you like how strong her arms are around you. You can barely feel the rhythm of her steps as she drifts down the hallway towards your room.

“I’m a big girl today,” you tell her. She’s carrying you like a baby, but maybe she just missed you as much as you missed her. Or maybe she really is worried.

“I can tell! You got dressed all by yourself,” Mommy teases, wiggling a finger into the gap left by the buttons you couldn’t reach.

“Uh-huh!” You’re proud of the outfit you picked out. “Can we play outside soon?”

“Once the problem is taken care of, I would love to watch you play in the courtyard.” She rests her hand at your back, keeping you close. “Big girls need their fresh air, after all.”

“Thank you, Mommy.”

She sets you down all too soon, straightening them hem of your dress. “Here we are, darling. Don’t open the door for anyone other than your sisters, and protect yourself if you must.”

“I love you.”

“I love you more.” Mommy presses a lingering kiss to your forehead, and then ushers you inside the bedroom. You turn in time to watch her close the door behind you, and you obediently turn the lock. Only Mommy’s key can open your room, like many others in the castle.

You flop onto your bed with a huff.

You got to see Mommy for the first time in days, but she’s busy with some stupid human who escaped from your sisters. You hate the stupid human who’s costing you time with Mommy, especially when she said you could play in the courtyard.

And you’re hungry! Mommy said she would bring you food, but you’re hungry now.

You kick your feet against the mattress. It’s a half-hearted tantrum, since no one is watching, but it makes you feel a little better.

Eventually, you hop off the bed and pace the room, your shoes going click click click on the stones.

It’s just one human, right? And you’re a big girl today. And it’s a big castle! He’s probably nowhere near the kitchen. You can run out, get some food, and then go right back to your room. Mommy will never know that you left.

You reluctantly retrieve your weapons from the top of the dresser, adding your belt of throwing knives on top of your dress. You aren’t supposed to use them when you’re little, but you’re not that little, and Mommy said to protect yourself if you needed to.

You take two of the knives in your hands, and try spinning them. It’s easy, body memory taking over. You toss one across the room, and it slices through the swirl of curtain you had been aiming at.

There, it’s settled. You’re a big girl and no manthing is going to scare you.

Nodding, you tuck the remaining knife back in its sheath, and turn your attention to the fireplace. It’s the fastest way to the kitchen from your room, and you’ve used it as a shortcut many times in the past. Your sisters don’t care if you get your dress dirty, they get blood and dirt on theirs all the time. So a little ash and grime is fine. (Mommy would disagree, but Mommy isn’t always around.)

You pour some water on the remaining embers from last night’s fire, and shuffle carefully into the fireplace. The wall at the back of the fireplace has crumbled away, revealing a passage that once needed to be triggered by pressing a certain brick. Now you can just crawl straight into it.

The rats like the passageways by the kitchen, and you brush past a few of them in the dark. Cassandra once trained a bunch of the castle rats to attack intruders, and you’ve had a fondness for the little friends ever since. They were scary in big groups, but just like everything else in Mommy’s castle, they would never hurt you.

You emerge into the kitchen, and stretch up to standing. As expected, your palms are covered in grime, and your skirt is heavy with soot and ash. You do your best to brush yourself off, and then start towards the sink to wash your hands, when a terrible screech fills the air.

“You stupid manthing!” you hear Bela scream from the next room.

Your headspace makes a quick shift into adulthood, startled to hear one of your sisters so distressed. Immediately, you run to the gate between the kitchen and the lower levels of the castle. Through the gate, you can see that one of the windows has been shattered. Dozens of your sister’s insects lie on the floor, unmoving, as she stumbles in the wind blowing through the broken glass.

“Bela!” you cry out, scrambling to open the gate. That’s when the first gunshot rings out, tearing through your sister’s shoulder. Her insects reform around it, but she cries out and you can tell that it hurt. As she stumbles to the left, you see the man standing behind her.

He’s covered in blood and grime, barely recognizable as human, but the stubble scattered across his cheeks marks him as prey to your family.

“Get away from my sister!” you scream, as the manthing shoots again at her. This shot hits her head, and insects scatter from the impact. Her face is gone for a moment, then reforms, her mouth wide open in rage.

Bela charges the stranger, her scythe held high.

You watch them struggle, and the man pushes her back into the frigid wind. He switches his attention to the windows, and breaks another one. You feel the winter air sweep inwards, and Bela wails.

“Bela, run!” You throw the gate open. “Get out of there!”

“He’s mine! My prey!” Bela hisses, advancing on the man again. Fear beats in your chest. You’ve never seen your sisters outmatched, but this man is too smart, and Bela is at a severe disadvantage in the room with broken windows. “How dare you bare your teeth at us!” She launches herself at the manthing again, and you watch his blood drip from your sister’s blade.

You’ve hunted with your sisters before. You’ve seen humans face death more times than you could count. You know how pain looks on their faces.

This man barely flinches as he pushes your sister back into the swirling snowflakes coming through the window. His face is set in a mask of determination, as he reloads his weapon and levels it again at Bela. This is no human like you’ve hunted before.

“Bela!” you scream, and throw one of your knives.

It sinks into the manthing’s thigh, and he hisses, pausing to pull it out and toss it aside. That brings your sister enough time to swoop towards him, but she’s moving more slowly in the cold air. The stranger manages to get his weapon back up before she can hit him, and fires straight into Bela’s face.

Both of you scream in unison, and you run forward into the room. The cold air prickles at your arms, but it doesn’t debilitate you the same way it does your sisters. You tug Bela backwards, as she writhes and hisses against your grip.

“Bela, find the others!” you yell. “Get out of here!”

The manthing seems to have finally picked you up as a threat. The next shot goes through your calf, and you lurch to the floor with a shout.

“How dare you!” Bela screeches, and throws herself again at the stranger.

You manage to get to your feet, and stumble towards the door. If you and Bela can get on the other side and then lock the manthing in the basement, Mother can deal with him without fear of the cold air or his stupid bullets. She is stronger than your sisters, stronger than anyone else.

Bela takes two more shots to her chest and begins retreating after you. You know that your sisters are unused to running from fights, but you don’t want to risk anything with this strange manthing who pulls knives out of his leg and tosses them aside without hesitation.

Another shot clips your shoulder, and your shaky grip on your adult headspace falls away. You topple to the ground, unable to stand the pain in your left leg.

You hear a scream, and it takes a moment to realize that it’s coming from you. You take your fear, your pain, and give it a voice. It echoes through the hallways.

“Mommy!”

The manthing seems to hesitate as your scream echoes around him.

You take the chance to throw another two knives. It’s a sloppy attempt, thrown haphazardly from the floor in pure self-defence. But they both strike true, one between his lower ribs and the other just above the mark from the first knife.

Red fluid seeps from him, dripping onto the tile.

He stumbles backwards, pulling a green bottle from his pocket and pouring its contents over his leg as he yanks the knife out. You watch as the blood is washed away, and the wounds close.

He came prepared.

“Ethan Winters!” a familiar voice snaps, and you almost collapse from pure relief. Mommy.

Mommy drifts in from the kitchen, ducking through the gated doorway and ushering Bela behind her. Bela is still snarling, but she’s clearly hurt, and allows her mother to push her back.

“You sneak into my house, you attack my daughters, youngest and eldest alike?”

The manthing fires his weapon again, directly into her chest, and you cover your ears against the noise. It echoes against the walls and although you know it can’t hurt Mommy, it scares you to see him try.

“You bring your filthy body to my property, you draw blood from my baby, and then you dare to raise your weapon to me?”

You haven’t seen Mommy this angry… ever. Her claws are extended, her back rigid as she faces down the man named Ethan Winters. Bela’s arms wrap around you and she drags you away from the fight. The movement jostles your wounded leg, and you cry out in spite of yourself, trying to twist out of Bela’s grasp.

Mommy looks back towards you. The man takes her lapse of attention as a chance to pull out a heavier gun, firing straight at her head.

It does nothing.

Mommy stands tall, in the face of bullets, in the swirling snow, and her claws flex as she looks down at the manthing in front of her.

Now, Ethan Winters looks scared. Now, Ethan Winters looks human.

“I would love to take my time and truly teach you a lesson,” Mommy purrs, reaching out to grab the manthing by the throat. “But my daughters need my attention, and I am… a doting mother. So I’m afraid this will have to be quick.”

Blood is all around you, in the Dimitrescu Castle. Big or small, old or young, you’re no stranger to violence.

You still find yourself covering your eyes as Mommy tears the strange man to shreds. You can hear her spitting out pieces of him, making sounds of disgust. His blood must not be good.

“Bela, come feed. You need the replenishment.”

Mommy drags what remains of the body into the kitchen, where Bela is safely resting, away from the cold air that fills the room where you sit.

You hear your sister begin to drink.

“Darling, are you alright?”

Mommy’s arms wrap around you, careful not to jostle your injuries.

Tearfully, you shake your head. You were scared, and Bela almost died. If you had stayed in your room and hidden like Mommy had said, you were sure that your sister would have been gone. You had almost both been killed, and if Mommy had been slower….

“M’sorry,” you sob, turning into the embrace. “I left.”

“And I’m very upset that you put yourself in danger, but I am not going to scold you right now. May I carry you to your room? You need medicine.”

“Mm-hmm.”

Mommy cradles you and carefully picks you up. Your dress is ruined, covered in grime and blood. You look over and see Bela crouched over a body. It’s suddenly easier to breathe once you see its face, blank and staring. The manthing doesn’t look special as a corpse. Just another dead human.

You turn your face into Mommy’s chest, and she presses a hand to the back of your head, keeping you there. The smell of copper blood fades as she carries you out of the kitchen and down the hall to your room. Mommy doesn’t take the shortcuts like you and your sisters. They’re much too small and dirty for her.

That thought makes you laugh.

“Is my little one amused?” Mommy asks, petting your scalp with gloved fingers.

“Mmm, m’small and dirty,” you giggle.

“You are very small and very dirty. A bath is in order for both of us once your wounds are tended to.” That sounds like heaven to your exhausted mind.

Mommy shoulders your door open, splintering the lock, and lays you on the bed. You whine as she moves away from you, reaching towards her.

“I’ll be back in a moment, darling. Are mama o fetiţă, cat un ghemotoc, are mama o fetiţă, cuminţică foc,” Mommy begins to sing as she makes her way around the room, gathering supplies. You relax, her voice reassuring you that she’s still nearby.

Soon, she’s back, sitting at the foot of your bed. There’s a bottle of first aid fluid in her hand, like the one the manthing used.

“This will sting, but it will help.” Mommy takes your foot in her hand, and carefully unbuckles your shoe. It looks tiny in her hand, like a doll’s shoe. Dropping it to the ground, she pulls down your stocking to reveal the wound in your calf.

You turn your face away, whining at the sight of the blood streaking your skin.

“Hush, darling.” You feel lips against the wound, a brief flare of pain as she presses against it. She makes a soft sound, and you look down to watch her lick your blood from her lips. “Don’t look,” Mommy tells you, and you close your eyes again.

Then she pours something on your leg, and everything is pain.

You twist in her grip, crying out, and she holds you down.

“I know, darling, I know. It will pass. I’m sorry.” More pain, this time radiating from your shoulder. You try to kick out, and she catches your feet. “I’ve got you. Breathe, little one. It will pass.”

And sure enough, after what feels like an eternity, the pain begins to lift. You can feel your fingers again, and your toes. Your body is more than a twisting line of agony. The ache becomes gentler, and eventually it lifts all together.

You lie on the bed, feeling the tears streaking your face, and you hear Mommy sigh in relief.

“There, all done.”

She gathers you onto her lap, and you lie passively in her arms, too exhausted to do anything else.

“My brave girl,” she praises, kissing your forehead. “My brave, brave daughter. I’m so proud of you. I’ll never let anyone hurt you again.”

“M’sorry.” You know she was worried about you. You can still hear it in her voice.

“No, darling, I’m sorry. I should have found him and… well. He shouldn’t have been able to hurt you. It won’t happen again, I promise.” Mommy rocks you back and forth, gently, and you can tell that your body has been healed. There is no pain in your leg, no pain in your shoulder. “I promise.”

“Love you.” There are so many things you want to say, but you’re tired and little and you just want to take a bath with Mommy and have a bottle and fall asleep in her arms.

“I love you more.”

She holds you tight, close enough that you can hear the doubled, inhuman heartbeat thrumming in her chest. Close enough that you can feel the unnatural heat of her skin. Close enough that you feel at home.

A/N: The song that Alcina sings is in Romanian, but I think it’s a translation of an English song. If anyone knows a traditional Romanian lullaby, I’d be happy to replace it. The lyrics translate as

“Mommy has a little girl, as small as a ball of fur Mommy has a little girl, and she’s a very good girl.”

I do have a fluffier, lighter sequel to this story planned, so let me know if you’d like to read it!

#resident evil agere #y'all really asked for this!!!!#violence mention #tw violence #my writing #my stories #agere writing #fandom agere #resident evil #resident evil village #i just know people are going to disrespect my dni on this story....#please don't #cglre terminology

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atopearth · 3 years ago

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Court of Darkness Part 9 - Knight Route

I actually find it hilarious that Knight hides behind Toa when Fenn teases him or whatever loll. He's like a little cat🤣 I'm surprised that Knight can't use magic🧐 But it doesn't seem like Grayson's situation, and more like he can't use it right now? It's so cute how Knight is helping her out with her studies whilst she tells him what they learnt in class so he can improve on his magic studies. It was so cute how they went around town together and Knight even ended up buying the heroine a hair clip, what a nice memory for the future~ Man, bullies are disgusting, and them breaking the hair clip made me so mad!! I'm so heartbroken for the heroine, I wanted to cry with her. She was so happy and wanted to cherish it so much, I'm so sad for her😭😭 I hope she practises her magic well and fixes it😭

Um, okay? I didn't expect a grown up taller Knight, that was really weird lol! However, the bigger problem is that Knight looks so much better normally than he does tall like an "adult" lol. Can I have shorter him back? Lolll. I hope this isn't the final form because I didn't sign up for this. I mean, Oliver in Ikemen Revolution was okay, because that was obviously his child form and the heroine wasn't going to be doing things with him like that, but here, it seemed like Knight is an adult but just on the short side, so randomly making him tall isn't really... right? Loll, I guess we'll see how they plan to go with this... I'm glad the heroine told Knight the truth about the hair clip and then they studied magic together and then repaired it together, I found that really sweet. I am soooo glad Toa finally saw those "admirers" treating the heroine like crap and told them off because wow, they're crazy. I'm glad Knight was there to protect her because the fact that they're so publicly attacking the heroine in a physical way at the party just shows how much they've lost it tbh. They should really get a harsher punishment, especially since they don't think that they're wrong. Anyway, I love how cute and honest the heroine was saying she missed him because she didn't get to talk much to him at the party today, and Knight blushing hearing that is just so cuteee! Awww, Knight being shy and trying his best to invite the heroine to go out into town again is so adorable.

I'm so sad that it really is true that Knight's "real form" is the adult version of him😭 He's got something like the stone in the heroine's choker inside his chest and that basically stunted his physical and magical growth, and the reason he's been fluctuating from big to small etc was because of the heroine's amplification magic affecting him. Anyway, like, it's cool and I guess interesting, but I'm so used to smaller him and I like how he is in his smaller counterpart more😭 Okay, I am very interested in that Goblet Chess Fenn and Jasper were playing because it sounds so fun to have a drink when you lose a pawn hahahah. It's sad Knight had to find out in this way that Toa manipulated his memories. I can see why his world has shattered for him and he can't bear to talk or face anybody not knowing what exactly is true and what is "fake" when it comes to his memories. Knowing Toa's reasons, I understand why he did it, and I personally think his decision was for the best as well considering he wanted to protect Knight, but it doesn't change the fact that he did it and it hurt Knight, so hopefully Knight musters the courage to talk to him soon. In terms of prince and valet relationships, I definitely love theirs the most, so I want them both to be happy.

It was really cool when Knight came out to save the heroine from the thugs, and I'm really loving how the heroine knows for sure how important Knight is to her, and how much she wants to be by his side at this time. I was really happy to see Knight recover his memories and not look at Dewi with disgust and hatred anymore. Dewi was concerned for Knight and wanted to make sure he wasn't being taken advantage of by Toa, so I'm glad things worked out, just kinda sad that their paths do not cross and it was a really short "reunion", but seeing them so gently smile at each other was kindaa good enough. What I'm most happy about is Knight's feelings towards Toa remaining the same even after recovering his memories. He was always scared of that, so it's great to see that he recognised Toa's actions and feelings were genuine, and he properly talked and made up with him too! Omggg, I love how when the heroine was about to say she planned on staying in this world forever with Knight, he interrupted by saying that maybe they can hone their magic enough that they could freely go between this realm and her realm! I was so ingrained with the idea that she could only choose one because of all the other routes that I didn't even think of this possibility haha! I'm glad he said that, and I'm glad they shared their feelings with each other. Okay, I'm not sure if the mischief ending is better but the magic ending is so underwhelming!!! No kiss, no sex, nothing!! I mean, I love lap pillows but it just felt so inconclusive in terms of story and romance, I was so sad!!😭

Overall, even though I do feel like Knight gets the short end of the stick by getting no kiss etc at the end, I really did enjoy how he and the heroine developed their feelings. I thought it was really cute how she would share what she learnt in class with him and they would study together, and he would go around town with her and show her things she didn’t know about. I also really liked that we got to see their magic bearing fruit when they both worked together to fix the hairclip, I honestly thought that was a highlight in the route because it was so cool and meaningful to have them both fix something precious to them. I also really liked how they dealt with the dilemma with the lost memories because I think it really showed well how much Toa cared for Knight, but also how difficult it was for Knight to have his whole world turned upside down. Knight ran away a bit too much, but I’m glad he talked it out later on. I think the only thing I didn’t really like was the adult version of Knight lolll, like he’s still cute and stuff but he doesn’t feel like Knight, and I honestly prefer the normal short version because he’s so much cuter and I don’t think it was necessary to have him have an “adult form” so I’m sad that the adult form is the real one zzz, but otherwise I think Knight and the heroine is very cute and I like them.

#court of darkness

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drwcn · 4 years ago

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Hello~ may i ask you something about Chinese culture? i'm a white person and i know that wearing traditional clothes from other cultures (for example as a street wear) simply because it's beautiful is disrespectful because it's also a form of cultural appropriation. A few months ago one of my friends and i were talking and exchanging facts about our cultures and lifestyles and i made a comment about how stunning some hanfu she showed me were and her first reaction was " oh you like it? what's your favorite color i can buy you that one! " and she was quite gleeful and seemed to be unaware of the ethical problem behind me wearing these clothes.. i kindly refused but it's been puzzling me for some time now and so I'd like to know a bit more about it so i can maybe educate myself on this matter and explain my position better next time such as why I can't wear these clothes. i'm really sorry to drop this important and not so simple ask on you but i actually don't know anyone else i could ask, also know that you don't need to answer this if you're uncomfortable or anything tho! it's such a long text omg again sorry for taking up so much of your time aldhsks i hope your day will be great 💝

Hi friend!

From where I stand if you want one, you should get one, especially if your friend is willing to help you pick a nice one. :)

Here’s the thing about culture appropriation - everyone has a different opinion on it, so even if I say something, another Chinese person can disagree and that’s valid.

I have a feeling, just a feeing, that if you go to China and buy a hanfu and put it on and walk around in it, most Chinese people aren’t gonna come up to you and say hey! this is cultural appropriation! In fact they might ask to take pictures with you.

That’s gonna be different if you did the same thing in New York, or Montreal, or Sydney, or London.

I’m not a sociologist or anthropologist or political scientist, but I am a young person who has a lot of incongruous feelings towards cultural appropriation. There are obvious answers. Any action whereby an item/accessory from a certain culture is used in a mocking or offensive way, or is used as a costume or a gimmick, is of course entirely inappropriate. This is the obvious answer. But, the question that is often asked, and the exactly thing you are getting, is: what if I’m not intending to be offensive? What if I just like it? What if I want to honour it and support it?

And the answer to that is complicated.

I am a CN diaspora, and from what I’m seen and experienced, the term “cultural appropriate” comes from a place of fear and feeling of threat. For countries like the US where the population is very diverse and there’s a pressure to assimilate and fit in, there used to be a time when immigrants felt they had to do everything in their power to be more integrated into the new community they landed in and that meant turning their backs on the culture that they’ve left behind.

The movement we see more and more nowadays is the reclaiming of some of that lost culture and the embracing of every aspect of one’s identity. However, the part of us that’s not quite “white enough”, that we’re just starting to build up the courage to be proud of, is still so tender, so raw, so vulnerable to any kind of assault from outside forces. The fear that we used to feel, the fear of being completely ourselves, it never truly goes away. It’s in the memory of being embarrassed to bring cultural food to lunch at school and wishing your mom could just pack you pizza. It’s the awkward moments when you can’t wear the shorts you want like the other girls in your class because your immigrant mother/father says it’s not appropriate. It’s loving a wuxia story and having no one to share it with because all your friends are non-cn and you’re 14 and everything is embarrassing. Imagine carrying that your entire life, that heavy mixture of shame and fear, and waking up one day and suddenly some pop artist is using aspects of your culture in their music video. Just for the aesthetics. And for that they’re getting millions of hits on youtube and making a fuckton of money.

The very thing that had caused you so much grief, so much mockery and stress, is being used and monetized. How could you be okay with it? Especially when commercialization often comes with sexualization and objectification as well. Now what if it’s not some famous person, what if it’s just a random citizen who wants to put on a kimono or a hanfu? Is that okay? Then it really depends on who you’re asking and what their relationship is with their cultural identity. Personally, I don’t really care because the community that I grew up in was very accepting of my culture. I never experienced as much cultural threat as other cn disasporas in other communities. So, like your friend who is CN (I’m assuming), I don’t feel as though my own identity is being infringed upon if you were to wear hanfu. In fact, I would take it as you being interested in my culture. But imagine someone who comes from a community where they weren’t allowed to freely express their unique cultural idiosyncracies, where they felt much more pressured to assimilate and fit in. I would think that you wearing hanfu would be absolutely seen as cultural appropriation in that case. Because the bottom line is, if they wore hanfu in their community, they would’ve probably been mocked for it, and so a person who is non-cn wearing hanfu just for fun, cheapens the struggles and the pain that they must’ve experienced ongoingly in their life. In simple words: imagine an unpopular kid at school had a mole on their face, a mole which earned them constant mockery from the popular kids. One day, however, one of the popular kids decided having a mole is “cool” and “sexy”, and drew one on their face and began sporting it around. Suddenly everyone is doing it. That kid with the mole is probably thinking having a mole is my thing, it’s part of who I am, I can’t change it, and you made my life hell because of it. Now, not only are you being a complete hypocrite, you’re also taking away a part of my identity. You’re removing the mole from it’s origin, from its context, and you’re drawing it on your face just because you like the look of it.

There’s a reason why Chinese people from China don’t care if you go to and buy all the hanfu you want. A) it’s generating business, but more importantly B) Chinese people in China are secure in their cultural identity. Being Chinese is their every day life, it’s their norm, their background, their default. By you wishing to try Chinese clothes, eating Chinese food, to them you’re simply going with the flow of their society. Diasporas on the other hand have a completely different relationship with our culture. We’ve had to fight to carve out a space that’s just for ourselves, and no diaspora’s experience is going to be the same as another. Therefore, our relationship with our culture, and with the term “cultural appropriation” is going to be very different.

#culture #coriesss #Anonymous #corie replies

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dailytomlinson · 4 years ago

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While many artists would jump at the chance to tell you how lockdown has been a fruitful opportunity for self-improvement, full of pseudo self-help books and pompous podcasts, former One Directioner Louis Tomlinson is adamant that he has done, well, nothing.

“I’ve just watched loads of s___ TV,” he says after a long pause. “The Undoing is decent, isn’t it?”

Twenty-eight--year-old Tomlinson from Doncaster was always the down-to-earth Directioner, frequently describing himself as fringe member who spent more time analysing the band’s contracts than singing solos, known for chain-smoking his way through several packs of cigarettes a day and swearing like a trooper. A rarity, these days, among millennials who’d rather suck on a stem of kale and tweet about their #blessings.

He's getting ready to rehearse an exciting one-off gig that will be live-streamed from a secret London location on December 12, announced today exclusively via the Telegraph. The proceeds of the night will be split across four charities: The Stagehand Covid-19 Crew Relief Fund and Crew Nation, Bluebell Wood Children’s Hospice and Marcus Rashford’s charity FareShare, to help end child poverty.

The gig means a great deal to Tomlinson, whose first ever tour as a solo artist, to promote his debut solo album WALLS, was cut short back in March after just two concerts in Spain and Mexico. It was an album he’d spent five years working on: a guitar-led project that ruptured with the preppy pop anthems of One Direction, inspired instead by Tomlinson’s love for Britpop.

No doubt he was anxious to get it right following a decade “grown in test tubes”, as Harry Styles once described the band’s formation on the X Factor, where they came third before going on to make a reported $280,000 a day as the most successful band in the world. The pressure, too, was intense: all four bandmates had already released their own solo debuts.

Was he left reeling, I ask, unable to perform at such a crucial moment?

“The thing that I always enjoyed the most about One Direction was playing the shows, so my master plan, when I realised I was going to do a solo career, was always my first tour. It’s something I’ve been looking forward to for the best part of five years now. I got so close, I got a taste for it, and it’s affected me like everyone else, but I’m forever an optimist,” he says down the phone, with what I can only imagine to be a rather phlegmatic shrug.

Sure, I say, but the last year can’t have been easy. Didn’t he feel like his purpose had popped?

“You know what,” he says, reflecting, “maybe because I’ve had real dark moments in my life, they’ve given me scope for optimism. In the grand scheme of things, of what I’ve experienced, these everyday problems...they don’t seem so bad.”

Tomlinson is referring to losing his 43-year-old mother, a midwife, to leukemia in 2016, and his 18-year-old sister Felicite, a model, to an accidental drug overdose in 2018. The double tragedy is something he has been open about on his own terms, dedicating his single, Two of Us, from WALLS, to his mother Johannah, while often checking in with fans who have lost members of their own family.

It’s not unusual for Tomlinson to ask his 34.9 million followers if they’re doing alright, receiving hundreds of thousands of personal replies. It’s not something he will discuss in interviews, however, after he slammed BBC Breakfast for shamelessly probing his trauma in February this year. “Never going back there again,” he tweeted after coming off the show.

“Social media is a ruthless, toxic place, so I don’t like to spend much time there,” says Tomlinson, “but because of experiencing such light and shade all while I was famous, I have a very deep connection with my fans. They’ve always been there for me.”

In return, Tomlinson is good to them. Last month he even promised some new music, saying that he’d written four songs in four days. Does this mean that a second album is on the way?

“Yeah, definitely,” he says. “I’m very, very excited. I had basically penciled down a plan before corona took over our lives. And now it's kind of given me a little bit of time to really get into what I want to say and what I want things to sound like. Because, you know, I was really proud of my first record, but there were moments that I felt were truer to me than others. I think that there were some songs where I took slightly more risk and owned what I love, saying, ‘This is who I want to be’. So I want to take a leaf out of their book.”

Fans might think he’s referring to writing more heartfelt autobiographical content such as Two of Us, but in fact, he’s referring specifically to rock-inspired Kill My Mind, he says, the first song on WALLS. “There’s a certain energy in that song, in its delivery, in its attitude, that I want to recreate. People are struggling at the moment, so I want to create a raucous, exciting atmosphere in my live show, not a somber, thoughtful one.”

He sighs, trying to articulate something that’s clearly been playing on his mind for a while. “You know, because of my story, my album was a little heavy at times and a little somber. And as I'm sure you're aware, from talking to me, now, that isn't who I am.”

It must be draining, I say, the weight of expectation in both the media and across his fanbase, to be a spokesperson for grief and hardship. To have tragedy prelude everything he does and says.

“Honestly, it’s part of being from Doncaster as well, I don’t like people feeling sorry for me. That’s the last thing I want.”

Too many incredible memories to mention but not a day goes by that I don't think about how amazing it was. @NiallOfficial @Harry_Styles @LiamPayne @zaynmalik . So proud of you all individually.

The problem is, says Tomlinson, he doesn’t have the best imagination. “I have interesting things to say musically, but what’s challenging from a writing perspective is that I write from the heart, and I can’t really get into someone else’s story. And right now, being stuck at home, you have so little experience to draw from. It’s actually quite hard to write these positive, uplifting songs, because actually, the experiences that you're going through on a day to day basis, you know, you they don't have that same flavour.”

There is something that’s helping, though: a secret spot near Los Angeles, where he divides his time. “It’s remote and kind of weird, and I’m going to go there for three days and write. I don’t know why I’m so drawn to it. I found it via a YouTube video. It’s got some very interesting locals who live there, it’s sort of backwards when it comes to technology. It feels like you’re going back in time when you’re there. But I don’t want to give it away.”

Another source of inspiration for his second album is the Red Hot Chili Peppers’ back catalogue. “I grew up on their album Bytheway. And during lockdown I've been knee deep in their stuff. I’ve watched every documentary, every video. And I find their lead guitarist John Frusciante just fascinating.”

Has he spoken to Frusicante?

“I f______ wish,” snorts Tomlinson.

Surely someone as well-known as Tomlinson could easily get in touch?

“No, honestly, I think he’s too cool for that. He’s not into that kind of thing.”

Tomlinson’s passion for all things rock is also spurring on a side hustle he picked up as a judge on the X Factor in 2018: managing an all-female rock band via his own imprint on Simon Cowell’s Syco label. While the group disbanded before releasing their first single, and Tomlinson split from Syco earlier this year, the singer is keen to nurture some more talent.

“I'm not gonna lie, my process with my imprint through Syco, it became challenging and it became frustrating at times,” Tomlinson says a little wearily. “The kind of artists that I was interested in developing – because I genuinely feel through my experience in One Direction, you know, one of the biggest f______ bands, I feel like I've learned a lot about the industry – they weren’t ready-made. So I had lots of artists that I took through the door that were rough and ready, but major labels want to see something that works straight away. I found that a little bit demotivating. I love her and she's an incredible artist, but not everyone is a Taylor Swift.”

Tomlinson spends much of his free time scouting new talent either on YouTube, Reddit or BBC Introducing – he’s currently a huge fan of indie Brighton band, Fickle Friends. His dream is to manage an all-female band playing instruments. “Because there's no one in that space. And I know eventually if I don't do it, someone else will!”

Before he drives off to rehearsals, we chatter about how much he's been practising his guitar playing, and how he can't wait to take the whole team working at his favourite grassroots venue, The Dome in Doncaster, out ice-skating after he performs there on his rescheduled tour. “Because I've got skills,” he says, and I can hear his chest puff.

And then I ask the question every retired member of One Direction has been batting off ever since they broke up in 2015, after Zayn Malik quit. Rumours that his bandmates saw him as a Judas went wild after some eagle eyes fans noticed they’d unfollowed him on Instagram. Payne, Tomlinson, Horan and Styles have barely mentioned him since. Recently, however, they re-followed him, and Payne has teased that a One Direction reunion is on the cards.

So: might 2021 be the year of resurrection?

“I thought you were going to ask something juicier!” say Tomlinson witheringly. “Look, I f______ love One Direction. I'm sure we're going to come back together one day, and I'll be doing a couple of One Direction songs in my gig. I always do that, so that's not alluding to any reunion or anything. But, I mean, look, I'm sure one day we'll get back together, because, you know, we were f______ great.”

#telegraph uk #press #louis tomlinson #241120 #its FULL of stunts as telegraph usually goes #stunt mention #Eleanor Halls

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give-seconds · 3 years ago

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Back to You

Summary: You and Mark are all each other have, he’s easily the most important person to you. But something happens and you both are slowly separated, so you work your hardest to be accepted into a college in Korea so you can find your way back to a home with him again.

Masterlist | Main Masterlist

---Part 13

One month later

Donghyuck hoped that by the time the holidays came around, he would have gotten over this crush. He didn’t want these feelings to ruin the holidays for you. He is already dragging you to this strange place to be surrounded by his parents and younger siblings. The last thing you need is for him to start acting strange.

Jeno still wouldn’t punch him, even after he showed up the night before you were supposed to go to Jeju and begged him. Jaemin agreed, and for a second, he feared for his life. Jaemin’s punch, however, was just a pinch on the cheek. Needless to say, he was both relieved and disappointed.

So now, here he is, standing outside your dorm building and trying not to let his nervousness take over. He knows he’s being dramatic, but he really is worried about messing up your first holiday in Korea. That, and he doesn’t want to scare you away.

“Hey, you ready?”

Donghyuck jumps slightly, smiling as you laugh softly. “Yeah, yeah, I’m ready.”

“So I did some research on Jeju,” you start as he leads you down the road towards the bus station.

“Oh yeah? What did you find?”

“I heard that the accent is hard to understand. You can help me, right?”

“I think you’ll be okay,” he answers, laughing softly. “The people there speak standard Korean. The only people you might have trouble with are the older people. But I think you’ll be okay.”

“Good to know, good to know. And you said your sister’s names are Daeun and Jimin?”

He nods his head. “They’re very excited to meet you. My mom and dad too.”

You laugh, playfully glaring at him. “Don’t say that! I’m not that exciting.”

“Okay, one, you are exciting. And two, they’re excited because except for my dad—and that’s because he’s the most introverted of us all— they’re all very excited to meet new people. Especially if those people are a friend.”

You nod your head. “And you haven’t told them about me?”

“Other than you’re a nice person, no, I haven’t mentioned anything about you.”

You let out a breath of relief. “Good, that makes me less nervous.”

“You’ve got nothing to be nervous about,” he responds. “My mom and I are almost the same person. If you get along with me, then you will definitely get along with her.”

“I know I’m probably worried about nothing, but that’s just me. Once I meet them, I’m sure I’ll be fine. Plus, it’s not like I’ll be alone. I have you, and then in a few days, Mark will join us.”

Donghyuck silently nods his head as you both take a seat on the bench, bringing his suitcase to stop in front of him. He’s both excited and unexcited for Mark to join you. On one hand, he’s excited to get to know you better without Jaemin or Mark. Donghyuck wouldn’t say he's jealous of Mark, but there’s just something in the way you look at him that is more than a friend. He’s been meaning to talk to his Hyung about his relationship with you, but every time the thought crosses his mind, it’s followed by thoughts of how weird he must sound and what Mark might say about him having a slight crush on someone he hadn’t known that long.

On the other hand, that slight crush is the reason he wants Mark there. If Mark is there, then the majority of your attention will be on him, and any weird thing he does around you might not be as noticeable. Not to mention, he just likes being around the older—he’s his best friend.

The bus pulling to a stop in front of you draws his attention away from his thoughts, and he wordlessly stands up. “You ready for the adventure of your life?”

You nod your head in confirmation, standing up next to him with a wide smile. He smiles back, letting himself get lost in your eyes for a few seconds. He knows he’s falling too fast; begging Jeno to punch him is proof of that. He can’t say what it is about you exactly that has made him fall. He just knows that every day, he finds more and more to admire about you.

“Okay! Then off we go.”

----

“Hyuckie!”

You smile, watching as his mom pulls him into a hug as soon as she opens the door.

He laughs, letting go of the suitcase handle to hug his mom back. “Hi, mom.”

“Okay,” she says, a smile spread across her face as she lets go and opens the door a little wider. “Okay, come on in. The girls are at the Ju’s house, so they’ll be back later. I think Haknyeon is dropping them off, so you’ll get to see him.”

You silently follow Donghyuck into the house, smiling softly at his mom as you pass her.

“That’s one of my best friends,” he says, turning to you as his mom closes the door behind you. You let out a quiet ah, not sure how else to respond.

“Mom, this is y/n,” He introduces, turning to face his mom. “Y/n, this is my mom.”

“Nice to meet you,” you greet, bowing.

“It’s nice to meet you too, y/n. Come, let me show you to your room.”

You and Donghyuck follow his mom as she leads you around the house. “Jimin and Daeun agreed to share a room. But when your other friend gets here, I don’t know where he’ll stay. Maybe with you, Hyuckie?”

“Yeah, of course.”

“And if you don’t want to, he can stay with me,” you offer quietly.

“No, we can’t have that,” his mom answers, pushing open the door to a room. “You’re our guest, and I want your stay at the Lee household to be as pleasant as possible.”

“I really don’t mind. He and I are like siblings.” You walk past his mom, looking around the room.

“Oh really? Donghyuck told me you came to Korea from Canada. Have you been here before?”

You shake your head. “Mark and I met in Canada; he was actually born there. His family moved here around my second year of high school. But before he moved, we pretty much grew up in the same household.”

Donghyuck nods his head silently, not hearing the rest of the conversation. He knew from you that Mark and you grew up together, but he can’t remember a time when Mark had mentioned you to him. Granted, he didn’t have a perfect memory, but he’s sure he would remember his friend saying something about a best friend he had to leave in Canada.

Sure, he’s only known him for about two years. Despite the short time, he feels like they’ve been able to create a special bond between them. He’s told Mark things Haknyeon doesn’t know, and he’s known Haknyeon twice as long—if not longer. The point is, he knows that the bond he feels between him and Mark isn’t one way. So why hadn’t he mentioned you?

“Hyuckie, why don’t you show y/n around the house? And then after that, maybe take her around the city if you’re up for it. If not, of course, you’re welcome to stay at the house,” his mother says, bringing her hand to rest on his shoulder.

He blinks a few times before simply nodding his head. “Yeah, of course.”

She smiles at him, sending you a smile as well before she squeezes past him and walks back down the hall.

“Well, ready for the tour?”

You nod your head, pushing your suitcase to rest at the foot of the bed. “Yeah. And then do you think we could go out? I want to buy your sister something for letting me use her room.”

“Oh, you don’t need to do that. I’m sure she doesn’t mind. I mean, she’s been telling me I need to ‘be around girls who aren’t my sisters’ since I was in my sophomore year of high school, so I think she’ll be fine with it,” he answers, closing the door behind you as you follow him out.

He still can’t get the thought out of his mind. He didn’t want to go so far as to say you were lying about your relationship—he had seen first hand how much Mark liked you. But he felt it was weird how openly you talked about your relationship versus how his Hyung talked about it. Which, until recently, was not at all.

“So, this is your room?”

He nods his head, watching as you walk past him and into the center of the room to look around.

“It suits you,” you say, turning around to smile at him.

He smiles back, a weird type of anxiety washing over him. He didn’t like doubting you. Worst of all, he didn’t like how nosy he is being. He wants to know why you and his Hyung talk differently about your relationship, but he also knows he shouldn’t care at all; it’s none of his business.

“Hey y/n? Can I ask you a kind of personal question that I have no reason to ask, and you can totally say no?”

“Sure,” you chuckle.

“You said Hyung’s family doesn’t like you. Why?”

“Not his whole family,” you mutter, breaking eye contact with him. He finds it difficult himself to look at you, instead, bringing his eyes to wander around his room “His brother and I are on good terms now, and I think his father is too scared to stand up to his mother and say he doesn’t have a problem with me.” You’re silent for a minute, and when he looks over at you, he can see you’re struggling to answer. “And as for his mother, it’s a long story. One I’m not sure how to explain right now, nor do I want to. But what I can say is that my father and Mark had a relationship she was ... jealous of. She had no reason to be jealous, but my father definitely went too far when it came to Mark. She hates my father—something I don’t blame her for—and I think I remind her too much of him.”

“That must be hard. Can I ask one more question?”

“Sure, I don’t care.”

“Were you and Hyung really that close? I don’t doubt that you two are close; it’s just that before you came, he never really talked about you.”

You smile softly, a faraway look in your eyes. “That is also because of his mom. We went through something big together, which means we’ll be together forever. But like I said, his mom hates me. I don’t know for sure, but I think that if he talked about me, his mom would be upset. I’m sure that’s why you’ve never heard of me. He was probably too scared to talk about me.”

Donghyuck nods his head. He wants to know more, but he knows that would be pushing things; he is lucky enough you told him this much. Maybe he’ll talk to Mark about it later, see if there’s anything he’s willing to talk more about.

“Okay, sorry for bringing that up out of nowhere. Ready to see a little of the town?”

---

At the end of the day, he’s glad Jeno hadn’t punched him. His time with you had been nice, and the dinner with his family hadn’t been as awkward as he expected it to be. Haknyeon had even joined them for dinner, adding a warm feeling to the atmosphere. He had almost forgotten how bright Haknyeon was.

Jimin had loved the gift you got her (which he had picked out) and told you that she would give you her room any time if it meant you could come over again. In short, his family enjoyed having you around.

Now, everybody had said their goodnights, and Donghyuck could hear his sisters talking in the room next to his. It’s good to be home; he missed his family. Laying in his bed, he stares up at the ceiling. He used to have stars on his ceiling, and he scrunches his nose at the memory. He can’t remember when he took those down or why.

Sighing, his thoughts from earlier come rushing back. He doesn’t know why it bothers him so much. It was before he met you. At the same time, he’s known Mark since he moved to Seoul; they’ve been each other’s best friends for a few years. So why were you never mentioned?

“Hey Hyung, how was the first day of the holidays?”

“It was good,” Mark answers into the phone. “Johnny Hyung was able to come back for dinner, which is always a treat. How about you? How’s y/n?”

“It’s been good! I got to see Haknyeon Hyung, so that was fun. I forgot how much I missed him. Y/n is also doing well. We got to see a little of the town today, but we’re going out again once you get here so we can really see the town.”

“Oh, that sounds fun! I’m excited to spend the holidays with friends. I’ve never done that before.”

Donghyuck nods his head, hesitating before asking. “Hey, can I ask you something about y/n?”

“Sure.”

“Um, so she told me a little about your relationship and why your mom doesn’t like her. But I was wondering, if it’s okay with you, could you tell me what happened between your family and hers?”

“What brought this up?” Donghyuck doesn’t miss the hesitation in his hyung’s voice.

“Y/n was talking to my mom about how you and her were like siblings when you were younger, and I thought about how I don’t think you’ve ever mentioned her before. I asked her why she thought that was, and she said it was because your mom doesn’t like her. I don’t know how to put this without sounding like I’m accusing her of being a liar, but are you two really as close as siblings?”

Mark sighs. “Yeah, it’s a long story that I don’t know how much she’s okay with sharing. But her and I, we have a bond. I can’t explain it, but I can tell you I don’t plan to lose her again. My family moved back here because my mom couldn’t stand y/n being around, so it’s not an understatement to say my mother has some strong, negative feelings towards y/n. So you can imagine how me talking about her went down in the house. As I got older, I realized it was easier to not talk about her at all. I wasn’t trying to hide it from you, Hyuck. I was worried you’d mention it in passing to my mom or dad. I’m sorry if you thought I was hiding it from you.”

Donghyuck knows it isn’t his place, but he feels like you and Mark aren’t telling him the whole truth. Of course, you and Mark are entitled to your privacy, but there’s an ugly feeling of being left out that he just can’t ignore.

“Yeah, no, it’s okay. I’m sorry about that; it sounds like it was hard.”

“Yeah,” Mark sighs. “It was. But now she’s here, and my mom can’t do anything about it. We’re making do. I mean, if Hyung can forgive her—and he used to feel just as strongly as my mom—then maybe my mom can get to a place of being okay with her.”

Donghyuck nods his head. “Yeah, I hope so too. Thanks for telling me.”

“Yeah, no problem. Hey, it’s getting kind of late, and I think my mom has something planned for tomorrow. But I’ll see you guys in two days, okay?”

“Yeah, see you then, Hyung. Good night.”

“Night, Donghyuck.”

---

I’m back! I’m sorry it took so long to get this out (but are we surprised?)—my life got busy all of a sudden (and I’ve been having some writer's block, but let's not mention it). But I hope you all have a fantastic day/night! I truly appreciate you all

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#NCT #nct mark #nct haechan #lee donghyuck #mark lee #haechan x reader #nct dream x reader #nct 127 x reader #nct scenarios #nct imagines #kpop #kpop imagines #kpop scenarios

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akatsuki-shin · 4 years ago

Text

Review: 默读 Mò Dú (Silent Reading)

Notes:

(Very) long post ahead

Contains spoiler

This is my personal review and does not represent the entire audience, you are free to agree or not agree with what I’ve written here

Feel free to reply/send me a message if there are things you want to discuss

Using the Donghua poster because it fits the overall story more than the Audio Drama cover. :'))

Summary:

Yan City is a bright, bustling metropolis filled with all sorts of wonders, all sorts of people. From the richest occupying the city's most prestigious residential areas to the poorest huddling together in rundown slums, from the most fortunate blessed with a life of comfort to the wretched deemed to struggle until their last breath, from the virtuous walking in the path of light to the wicked lurking under the cover of darkness.

There is as much good as there is evil, and days gone by, people coming and going along with the passage of time.

Since their first meeting during a certain case seven years ago, Captain of the City Bureau's Crime Investigation Unit Luo Wenzhou thought he would never see eye to eye with Fei Du, son of a well-known conglomerate who inherited his father's position and wealth after the latter fell into comatose due to a near-fatal accident three years ago.

Words as sharp as knives dyed their bitter exchanges, even their personality was like the heaven and earth; the bold, blunt, and straightforward Luo Wenzhou - and the astute, secretive Fei Du, with his beautiful peach blossom eyes and a smile that is not quite a smile seducing countless people, his very presence seems as if it was covered under layers and layers of deceit.

Every single time they meet, they would always part on bad terms. Yet Luo Wenzhou would never have thought that a seemingly ordinary murder case of an ordinary deliveryman would lead him into the mystery of multiple long forgotten unsolved cases, turning over the Yan City and the City Bureau itself upside down, making him question his faith to those he respected and trust - and along with it, opening a door to the truth of Fei Du's past never once known to others.

STORY: 9/10

At first glance, the overall plot of Silent Reading seems neither extravagant nor exceptional. It's just one of those police drama where the main leads had to wrestle in a battle of wits with the villains looming around them, struggling to outsmart each other and eventually, bringing justice to those who deserve it.

But that is exactly what is so good about it. Silent reading could take all of those cliche and packed them into one nerve-wrecking, enticing journey from start to finish, complete with both intense and amusing interactions, and just the right amount of romance that does not disturb the flow of the main story.

And it actually does have its own uniqueness.

In most police dramas I've ever seen, the enemy is usually either a corrupt high-ranking official committing some hideous criminal acts by abusing their authority, or an individual/group with some very extreme values or obsession. Silent Reading, however, have both of those two most general types of villains in the story and what's more? It pits them against each other, pulling around and forcing the main leads to wreck their brains, slowly unravel the tangled mess until the truth finally comes to light.

The action and suspense, the atmosphere, the analysis, everything was almost impeccable to the point of perfection.

I have to especially give my kudos to how the author (Priest) structured the mystery in such a way, connecting one dots to the other from beginning to end. During the first few cases, I thought the resolution of the case didn't feel very solid, as if there are still some details that have yet to be properly elaborated. Yet halfway through, I realize that there is actually a bigger plot that encompass everything, tying all loose ends together.

And here, I would also like to highlight my two most favorite scene.

The first one is in Chapter 114-115 when Luo Wenzhou finally peeled of Fei Du's defense and for the first time exposed his true feelings, making Fei Du faced and spoke what he truly felt for Luo Wenzhou - that he really, actually did care for him. Their entire interactions and development up to this scene fits so well with these two main characters. There was no nonsense, no sappy crying and needless drama. Luo Wenzhou was as blunt as he was desperate and Fei Du, for once, admitted to the truth straight out with his own mouth.

The second one is in Chapter 157. In this case, one of Fei Du's most trusted men and an extremely important witness (that would later become their ally) were being chased and surrounded by thugs hired by their enemy. At this point of the story, the City Bureau was already in turmoil. Luo Wenzhou was suspended, nobody knows who they could or could not trust. Yet still, his subordinates all set out swiftly under his command and followed him to save the two witnesses, appearing at the most critical time.

It was actually a typical scene that exist in many police action drama, but given the development of the story, the well-built character relationship and interactions, I think it is Luo Wenzhou's coolest scene in the entire story and it makes me admire him a lot as the main lead and a leader figure.

One thing that does not quite sit well with me is Fan Siyuan's obsessiveness towards the late Gu Zhao. His motive for the crime was clear and I understand that he was using Gu Zhao's case as an example of injustice. But his extreme emotions whenever Gu Zhao was mentioned seems strange, even baseless. It makes me think whether he considers Gu Zhao as his own family or he was maybe madly in love with Gu Zhao, whereas in the entire story, unless I'm missing something, I have only ever known that Gu Zhao was Fan Siyuan's student - nothing more, nothing less.

CHARACTERS: 9/10

Silent Reading has a balanced, yet still very much appealing casts, from the major characters to the minor ones. Even the suspects and witnesses each had their own distinguishing features that didn't make them look like they were just there as canon fodders.

The composition of Luo Wenzhou's team itself is ideal; they've got the dependable leader, the smart advisor, the best friend and trustworthy right-hand man, the genius nerd, and the dependable aide.

I especially like Tao Ran (and I think most readers would agree with me). While he looks like the typical good guy type, he really, truly is a very good person. It's hard not to find him lovable. His relationship with Chang Ning was as cliche as it could get, but hey, as long as he's happy. Dude deserve it after everything he's done.

As for the two main leads, they are probably one of the most interesting couple I've found in the past few years.

Individually, Luo Wenzhou is the type of character I always like. He is confident to the point of having a narcissistic streak, but all of those are based on real talents and experiences. He speaks bluntly, but he cares for others through his action. He does not sugarcoat things and speaks the truth for what it is. Everything about him simply screams "reliable" as a leader (and a significant other to a certain someone). He deserves all of the respect and loyalty his subordinates gave to him.

Fei Du at first looks like a complex character whose real self is hidden beneath countless coats of pretense, but at the core, he is just a pitiful young man who does not know how to value himself, does not know how to love and be loved due to the abuse he suffered during childhood in the hands of his sadistic father. Despite his composure, his intelligence, his capability, he is almost like a lost little child, wandering in the darkness, going wherever the flow would take him until Luo Wenzhou pulled him out of that abyss. It is nothing less than commendable that he could restrain himself from succumbing into his father's manipulation, even if he has to correct himself through such extreme means for a long time.

And I'm glad that now he has someone who gives him the love he has long since been bereft of.

With Luo Wenzhou, Fei Du finally has a color in his life, someone to make happy memories with, and someone who genuinely love him for who he is. Likewise, with Fei Du, not only Luo Wenzhou got someone he could genuinely care for, he also finally has a place where he could relax, taking off the strong front he'd been putting before others all day long.

It was just so fulfilling to see two characters growing from "cat and dog" into inseparable lovers. They weren't sickeningly sweet, but just two people who are content with each other and would be each other's strength. I was especially happy when I saw how Fei Du changed his phone's ring tone into the one Luo Wenzhou in the extra chapter.

Now that I've finished reading this story, these two straight up went to the top of my all-time most favorite pairing list. But of course, this is just a personal opinion. Luo Wenzhou and Fei Du simply hits all of my favorite tropes, that's why. 😂

If I really have to point out one mini flaw, I suppose it's that the main villains aren't as appealing as the rest of the casts. They were practically overshadowed, even by some minor characters that only appeared for a short while.

TECHNICAL ASPECTS: 9/10

Just some very minor complaints:

1). When the story first introduced Fei Du in the beginning, it felt kind of abrupt. The narration had only been addressing him with his physical appearance, but suddenly they changed it into "Fei Du" with barely any proper start.

2). The international conference in Yan City (Chapter 2) was supposed to be a background information of the general setting of the first case, yet it was not properly mentioned at the start - rather, one sort paragraph about said conference was simply being slipped in the middle just for the sake to be there.

3). The switching of scenes between characters in the 3rd person POV are sometimes too quick with no signs of incoming transitions beforehand like taking shortcuts.

And by that, I mean that other than those three issues above, everything else was nothing less than perfect.

OVERALL SCORE: 9/10

A realistic story with perfectly balanced action, mystery, suspense, and romance - with a dash of comedy sprinkled at the right time and place.

Reading the novel from start to finish was nothing less than enjoyable. Whenever there needed to be a flashback or explanation, it didn't feel like info dump being thrown in all of a sudden.

I would like to point out a bit about the Zhou Conglomerate Case in Book 3.

Personally speaking, I think this is the most realistic case out of the others, and by that, I don't mean the crazy rich family drama.

The other cases in the books are something that to me feels "faraway"; murders, child trafficking, psychopath, organized criminal gangs. Yet in Book 3, due to the nature of the case, it was posted publicly for all to see, and damn if it didn't bring out the most annoying thing I actually hate in real life.

Clout-chasing media, meddlesome netizens commenting without thinking on the Internet, spreading personal information of the involved individuals without consent, handing down judgment based on rumors and personal opinions even if they have nothing to do with it (and know nothing about it), crashing the website due to mere curiosity, further hindering the police working on the case from doing their job.

They weren't thinking about those actually involved in the case, especially the victim. They don't care, or maybe don't even think that their meddlesome acts could cost a human's life because they see everything as mere passing entertainment. And if something were to happen because of their meddling, the most they would say is, of course, as quoted from Chapter 72:

"I didn't do it on purpose"

"I wasn't doing it to you"

"I didn't expect this to be the outcome"

"From a certain point of view, I'm a victim, too"

Even if I was just reading a fiction, at that moment I truly wished I could shut down the Internet for a bit. 😂

Anyway, amazing story. I might re-read everything from the start again when I have some free time.

#Mo Du #Silent Reading #Luo Wenzhou #Fei Du #ZhouDu #Review #Danmei #Priest

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