#there were a lot more ppl i wanted to add
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Tbh we look covert if we don't move or speak up... Ok that sounds wrong but we usually wear neutral clothes and many of us don't have interests that extreme from one another but we have different voices and some move specific way (not everyone tho) so we can be spotted by some more observant people or those who know us well but if they don't then probably at least 50% of alters would be seen as a singlet. Also! We learned to do a trick with our voice because we can't fake each other's (won't share it here) and majority of us can pass as one person online because we type similarly when we try hard not to confuse people with our individuality (host or Albert never pass though). So strangers and people who hardly ever see us probably wouldn't notice shit. We sometimes front one alter to a certain person so they know only one of us and lots of human beings didn't even hear or saw changes despite of those being big af so I guess they didn't care enough?
*Srsly we have so many different voices and some ppl in hospital were like - I missed your voice - and we were like - which one - and they responded with - huh? - when those differences are EXTREME and they talked to us for a month that I wonder how dumb or uncaring ppl can be but oh well! At least we don't have to try so hard, right? :)
Red
We were much more extreme in the past, especially when we had girls in the system but rn we're all boys wanting to be masculine in various ways and just wear casual comfy shit that host owns as we spend a lot of time at home and don't care much about how we look but when we "go out" we would choose smth we like more. New alters are different in personality traits and emotions (or lack thereof) but they were brainmade to not have their own opinions much nor interests to not add conflicts to the brain so they're pretty neutral overall. So it's hard to tell if we would be truly overt looking if we weren't so open about our diagnosis (we tell basically everyone even if we later act like one person for the sake of someone's comfort). All I know we can never be 100% covert due to voice - whoops!~
I only ever see DID discussed as purely covert or overt, but never anything about systems with mixed presentation.
My system is maybe 90% covert, where most alters mask as the host. And then there are a few who have wildly different outward fashion choices, styles of speaking, and want people to know they’re someone other than the host.
It’s kind of chaotic when most alters are trying to stay on the down low and then Extremely Goth Alter shows up in Tripp pants and an oversized metal hoodie I didn’t even know we owned .-.
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*inspired by a post from @butzenscheibe
i hope everyone from the magnus archives exists in the magnus protocols
i hope jude perry has a fear of fire
i hope dekker and gertrude are librarian coworkers
i hope breekon and hope are just two normal mailmen
i hope eric mary and gerry are an average family
i hope helen and michael are doing their respective pre-spiral careers (NOT the magnus institute for michael)
i hope the montauks are a happy family (no missing mothers)
i hope everyone we've come to hate/love is just a normal person. unaffected by the horrors and tragedies. i hope each and every avatar can live the lives they deserved to have before it was taken from them.
#HERES HOW AGNES MONTAGUE CAN STILL WIN#i really love the idea of “the others”#there were a lot more ppl i wanted to add#but i think my favorite is the delano/keay family#imagine a not emo gerry#holy shit..#the magnus protocol#the magnus pod#tmagp#magnus protocol#the magnus archives#tmagp spoilers#tma spoilers#jude perry#gertrude robinson#adelard dekker#breekon and hope#gerry keay#mary keay#eric delano#helen richardson#michael shelley#julia montauk#realistically agnes wouldnt exist at all in this universe but i dont wanna hear it#ears are CLOSED.
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one thing i've noticed lately that I don't think I can talk about on my actual fandom sideblog (yet) is the fact that i'm just having a fundamentally different fandom experience to what I think the majority of people in fandom are
A lot of people focus on shipping over everything else. Like, "I don't care about realism or good plot or character consistency or anything that really makes a show good, I just want my two faves to kiss" levels of focusing on shipping. It's like instead of caring about the actual show or even those actual characters, they choose to focus on their relationship instead.
A couple examples of this are the 9-1-1 drama that's going on rn. I don't watch that show but from what I've seen it's a great example of this. and, imo, people's opinions on Simon/Daphne from Bridgerton s1 are heavily influenced by wanting the ship over anything else. I think Simon's reasoning for not wanting children is perfectly ok reasoning to have. If he doesn't want to have kids or get married to spite his dad, if he chooses to ignore love to avoid those things, then that's his choice! It's not pathetic or goofy or negative at all for him to make a choice and stick to it, and it certainly isn't something he needs to get corrective SA'd about unless you just want to see him and Daphne fuck and you care more about that than them as characters.
idk. it makes fandom feel really shallow for me, someone who enjoys meta with depth and nuance more than mindless shipping at any cost. I already knew the overwhelming bigotry made it pretty shallow, but the shipping-only mindset adds another level to it. It's just not something I personally enjoy very much
#i shouldn't be in the club. i should be in english academia#i had so much fun in my one college english class. but i don't think i'm gonna switch majors about this though. it's not that deep#anyways! i don't think this is everyone. i mean i had a decent enough following as indi-glo#and that was while shitting on people. not even doing meta people wouldn't consider as controversial#but i think it's common enough in the fandoms i'm in that it's hard to find people who aren't like that. which isn't super fun for me#it means i can't talk about a lot of things i find interesting if i don't want a repeat of indi-glo levels of hate#i'm not in the mood to be mass blocked in a fandom again. but the threshold of things you have to do to be mass blocked in a fandom#is actually so low. which adds to me being bored bc i can't talk about a lot of the things i want to talk about#also to be clear this isn't me going on the fandom site and complaining that there's fandom on it#i'm not upset about the existence of fandom. i'm 'in' multiple fandoms. i just don't like how fandom operates#i do get that most people aren't here to form english academia essay worthy opinions on fuckin heartstopper though. i get that#i do wish ppl were more open-minded when people have more nuanced opinions about the show/characters#that happen to go against their ship or w/e. but i get it i guess
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i’m not like other girls, my “Rest” stats are a heart rate of 110bpm and a HRV of 14 fucking milliseconds. :)
#Seven’s Public Diary#vent#vent post#cw vent#cw vent post#cw health#cw heart#i’m so stressed :) i am soooo fucking stressed and my body is Suffering because of it#i want to just lay here and stare at the ceiling but. maybe a little venting will help#sighhhh wish [N]MbD Sun were here to obsessively fret over me#he can be mean about it idc. at least i’d have someone acknowledging how bad things are for me#sometimes i wonder when the last time was that my body Wasn’t in fight or flight to some degree#have i Ever actually relaxed#hhhhhhh c-ptsd is a bitch#anyways there’s so much to vent about but i’m. doing my best to be vague. i need to be more vague about things#a lot of stuff i can’t vent about anyways. it’s too personal#so instead i’m gonna complain abt how i haven’t been able to play Genshin or Star Rail for nearly a month now#and about how slowly my back is recovering. it’s like every time i re-injure/have a flare up. it heals.. worse. slower and lesser#i dunno how it’s ever gonna get better. truly better. maybe i’ll live with this forever#if being fat is the problem which is definitely partly is. then yeah i’m fucked#all of my problems just make each other worse and i don’t know where the way out of it all is#every time i think i’ve found it i’m wrong and i just make it all worse#anyways as soon as i figure out how to strengthen my core without breaking my back. it’s over for u bitches#‘u bitches’ being uh. all of the shit that needs doing that i cannot physically fucking do right now#i miss being able to sit down. and i’m Regretting de-converting my standing desk back to sitting bc now. i cannot use my PC#which means i can’t fucking do a some of my work or play my silly little gacha games and i’m mad abt it#i’m mad abt a lot more serious things too but again. can’t talk abt it so i’m gonna focus on trivial shit instead#anyways. sorry as always to everyone i haven’t spoken with lately. and in general. i’m so drained from the Everything that i just. can’t.#it shouldn’t be this hard for me to stay in touch w ppl but. it is. guess i’ll add that onto my list of things to be stressed about#i’m so tired of everything man. and i hate being so negative and mean when im stressed & in pain. makes me feel like im becoming my father
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Zero idea if it'll help or fade into the background but I downloaded stuff to track things and smacked widgets onto my homescreen to not forget. Initially searched for pain ones (where I downloaded two just for good measure ig) but saw that one is customizable for like anything you want and no purchase stuff for me bc included in that one pass and said sure fuck it. I think at the min I need to track pain bc by my memory do I go mental thinking if it just feels frequent n all or if it actually is and mind goes blank when at the doc (will just be fun translating to ger OTL I learn sm to describe stuff in eng but then it lacks in first language). Alas for whatever reason lil me never thought abt actually writing these things down (prob bc every adult anyways dismissed them to the point of not being sure if the pain was actually there so what was the point. but now. now I'm the adult in my life who calls the shots for their own life even if anxiety makes it hard).
#a wild lux appears#randomly downloaded stuff when my headache almost made me want to cry again thank fuck for that binaural vid#Btw I will not tackle both languages full on at once they're just both there to not forget either#The group goal will prob be the hardest but at least I now realize I instead of beating myself up I just become avoidant#Which isn't good either but at least knowing what I do helps tackling it ykno#Btw the apps I got are dailyio. manage my pain. and. chronic insights (which is specifically for pain my recommendation since it's made by#one w it and completely free of ads n all. got a lot you can add n visually really nice. just fancy stuff behind paywall)#Zero idea if my stuff is chronic maybe I am since years in my denialism era either way pain is pain and I learned more online from disabled#ppl than from doctors which is just oh so great. but after learning not suprising yikes.#Also reg every adult I remember school trips being nightmares bc I ran out of energy and breath fast and the stops were not even close to#what I needed to recover.#Safe to say I became a v seething child who w reasons hated forced outdoors stuff#Got lots of fun stories which totally don't make me want to combust#This one is like. The tamest I think. Got literally locked out of my room to be foces to go outside#But all that is more stories abt one specific horrendous place I wish(ed) to burn to the ground than physical pain focused talk.#So gon cut it here#Need to shower anyways I just woke up I need v quickly food after it so cya#(just woke up I say. As if I'm not since like three hours awake but just since shortly out of my bed. anyways-)#Also last thing even if a child fakes pain to get out of stuff maybe talk w them as to why they feel the need to do that#Believe kids they know their body etc etc or I will hit you cartoon style w a piano over your head#Fuck wrote one app wrong I meant *daylio
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Day 655
Unlike the mod of this blog arjuna finishes things in a concise fashion, so he’s done well today
#hasarjunadoneanythingwrong#my post#started ANOTHER fucking comic late at night instead of finishing something#anyway. I’m not making a sep post 4 this bc k don’t want to add to the complaining but#at this point in time I’ve seen more people complaining abt ppl complaining abt the npcs than actual complaints#like. I think they’re just making shit up now bc they’re mad ppl didn’t just gratefully eat their scraps#I’m now hearing that the guda6 ssr artist was HARRASSED over it which while possible#why am I only hearing about this now?????? and not then???#it fr feels like they want to ruin it for anyone who’s actually happy#I think some of it is ppl don’t realize it wasn’t just eng ppl complaining but idk#and they don’t notice that the jp players also complain a lot bc it’s in another language/on dif sites#so they always try to turn it into some ‘damn sjw na fem player’ but that’s not really…accurate?#and frustrating too bc at the time of the npc thing there were only 3 guys released like yeah actually putting 3 sexy npcs out at once was#gonna piss people off if it could’ve doubled it for that demographic#and idk. it definitely feels like it’s pushback for the fact that people were actually angry on both sides of the fanbase that now#I keep seeing these damn posts complaining about ppl complaining#like if it bothers you so much just block them??????#it really wasn’t an unreasonable response though#and yeah I’m not pro harassing artists but I do find it convenient it wasn’t mentioned until now#if it is true-it’s bad but that isn’t the fault of the majority of the people who were frustrated?#def not on par w like the. parv thing for example#like maybe fans in this fanbase just get bitchy sometimes idk#anyway I needed to vent this to release bile I just didn’t want it obvious srry to bother <3#I’m just sick of it like damn can we not just enjoy the new servant. the npc thing really wasn’t that bad why are you still mad
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🦋
#hmmmm.#so as a rule i say thank you when i go out. a lot. bc i was told once that saying thank you instead of im sorry#would make ppl feel less uncomfortable so i swapped the phrases out.#similarly i was told once that compliments make ppl happy&also if im specifically looking for Good Things#i will find them-- as opposed to letting my head do whatever it wants bc given the extremely violent intrusive+obsessive thoughts#directing it towards Good Things works out for everyone if ppl enjoy compliments.#im also like. extremely aware that these facts-- along w my fervent occasionally manic insistence on being Nice when interacting w ppl#(bc i thought we all were told as kids to treat others the way we wanted to be treated??? lmao.)#-- all add up to make me seem insincere at times or to some ppl. i. dont care. LMAO.#its too exhausting to care. like ppl find whatever they want to find&if ppl are so set on my being a certain way#so much so that my being a nice person can only be explained by nefarious intent (to acheive. what. kindness from others? lmao.)#how in the fuck can any of that be my fault or-- MUCH more importantly-- my problem???#however lately its like ppl have been getting like. Offended. by the impulses. which is becoming... boring. for me. lmao.#bc it isnt like i dont mean it when im extensively polite&complimentary-- i mean everything i say bc even when anxiously filling silence#i dont like wasting my time on like. lying for no reason lmao.#its more so that if it becomes a hinderance to be myself ill go the route that benefits me which is the one of least resistance#&i will ALSO mean it when i make someone cry w exactly the same amount of effort lmao#bc proving a point-- even if its proving someone elses point-- correct is extremely easy either way lmao.#its weird to me that ppl would think seeing good in something means that seeing bad in it isnt possible lmao#the same way its extremely confusing to me that ppl would think kindness&abject cruelty cant like. coexist lmao.#i feel accepting that on a micro level would help ppl accept it on a macro level.#either way i know it would save me some time in having to deal w ppl biting off more than they can chew#before realizing that i will rip chunks out of them&lick the tears up like a dog if they insist on tempting me like one LMAO.#at the very least it might help more ppl appreciate the fact that regardless of how vivid the fantasies#i have yet to hit anyone repeatedly w a baseball bat to relieve some stress.#... lmao.
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i wish there was a way for me to likeee. semi change this one thingin this one mod. but 1 im not a modder 2 i feel like thats disrespectful. i just want sort of an inbetween between the game and this mod but that is not a thing that exist... sigh
#NOT COMPLAINING ABT THE MOD just personal preference im not saying the mod bc i dont want it seen as an attack but basically i like mods#that add a bit more realism while also keeping some stuff yfm... like 4 example Random example unrelated i like the idea of Having to decid#what to do with the remains of a dead sim and having the body stick around but i also like having the grim reaper appear.... so in my ideal#death mod the sim dies and then the grim reaper shows up to like. take their soul but the body stays. im not a modder so idk how possible..#also ig that kind of doesnt fully make sense since the ghosts r still afoot so ig itd just be him severing the connection btwn the body and#soul right. not taking anything... which i suppose is what he does in the basegame is he severs the connection and then takes the body w/#him. which is kind of funny. whats he need that for is it just courtesy or is he doing smtg w/ them. bc ik you get the gravestone/urn when#they die and those r the remains but like. ? he just like. conjures those doesnt he. body vanishes and then those appear. does he just#rearrange the atoms of the body into those things. bc i dont subscribe to the idea that he actually digs a hole for the corpse idt theres#anything down there bc u cn put a basement right under a grave and no issues. so i think he magics the bodies away and then either somehow#transforms those bodies into the appropriate grave marker (unclear on if theres even actually ash in the urn like is that mentioned. OR he#takes them leaves the urn and gravestone and then just has the bodies to do whatever with. WHATS HE DOING !!! is it a nice like Ill just#handle this so they dont have to (presumptuous. caring for a body is a rly important thing in many cultures and it can be a great way to#process a loss for some ppl (not all obviously. grief is very personal this is one of my autism things sry)) but ig in simnation society it#isnt that important Evidently. but idk... either hes taking them as a favor to help out/soften the blow bc obv nobody Likes seeing the grim#reaper olive sit down. connor sit down. so hes like well ill handle this. or is it something more nefarious WHTS HE DOINGG tell me. i think#funny to imagine he just teleports the body elsewhere ik he prolly just destroys it but its kind of awesome to imagine theres a giant magic#crematorium and like. a columbarium. idk why i assume cremation itd just save space in his. realm? i he has a realm. if i were him and i#didnt have a realm id be kinda pissed id call the watcher and be like heyyy um... yk. but ya i think thats cool bc i love lands of the dead#gotta be one of my favorite things (autistic) and i think its just cool to imagine a place where the remains of every person whos ever live#r kept. be that their soul as is traditional or their literal remains in this case. isnt that kind of cool.. love it. but again we probably#arent supposed to rly think abt it he prolly jut vaporizes them into nothing. i just wanted to have fun... bring a positive sort of vibe.#anyways. i would like to be able to have The body just bc i think thats cool and i think itd be awesome to have a mod that adds in more#grieving practices from around the world but obviously thatd be like. HUGEscale bc there are a millionnn different ways to grieve. and its#all so interesting to learn abt. read from here to eternity. by caitlin doughty. smiles <- it doesnt cover Everything obv but it talks abt#lot of stuff from around the world in a rly respectful way and its incredible to read abt and learn. my autism . but i genuinely love#learning abt grief and mourning and funerary practices in other cultures i rly wish that so many practices werent lost to colonization wher#ppl were forced to abandon their way of caring for their dead just bc it seemed ghoulish or barbaric or whathave you to the missionaries et#idk. id put death it up there with food as one of the biggest cultural signifiers...i cant continue the tag limit. wtvr. u get it
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why on earth do you even want a fe4 remake if you dont want anything to change just go play the original game.
#i want the story to be more fleshed out#someone on this subreddit thread im. vaguing lol mentioned that the castles functioning somewhat like the my castle system in fef would be#fun and i reallyyyyy agree or like a camp set up?#the long maps i want preserved bc . thats one of this games defining features#the secret spots id like to have some indication of there being Something There#not necessarily the sparkles lol but like#something like a random statue. a landmark that makes u go i wonder if theres a secret there and there is#i think fe4s mechanics could use a SERIOUS REVAMP and other ppl have mentioned the castle guarding mechanic is#interesting and fun but tehres only a few maps that really incentivize you to guard them#which is like. whats the point of using the slow armored units at all when the maps are too big to utilize them#and theyre only useful in a few battles#but also the take + defend format is really fun for a strategic rpg so i think they should use that more!!! make it interesting!#i could take or leave a personal avatar. i dont really get the hate for them they dont. add or subtract much to a story and i think the hat#for new mystery specifically is a) poor analysis of why it as a remake did not do well#esp in the light of shadows#and b) literally not even that big of a deal . genuinely.#ALSO WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU WANT THE HOLY BLOOD TAKEN OUT OF THE GAME ITS A MAJOR PLOT POINT#ARE YOU AN IDIOT. I THINK MAYBE YOU JUST DONT LIKE THE GAME.#ppl also were talkign a lot abt 'redeeming' 'villians' which is like. i think some other major plot points may have flown over your head#... tbh the thing id hate is if visually it looked like the most recent games#the move to the switch has made for some of the most unattractive map and environment design ever esp coming off the tail of fates and shad#ws. fates is not a good game overall but its environment design is BEAUTIFUL and makes for very fun maps and shadows achieved the explorati#n mechanics three houses wanted to use so badly but sucked ass at#if they dont bring back pixelized icons im gonna be . not surprised but really bitter abt it#overall i just want the gameplay to be a bit more accessable and the story revamped (like how shadows expanded on gaidens story)#and anything else on top of that is extra experimentation which could be interesting or lame#i dont have strong opinions on that bc the thing i DONT want is for it to be the exact same#bc that defeats the purpose of a remake.#literally why do igo on reddit ever/#visually if it took a queue from octopath traveller i would be ecstatic
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thanks for the tag @kyuoki! <3
I feel the need to explain that I'm the kind of person who rarely ever listens to music per album (unless maybe when a new one has just released), usually it's either "complete discography playlist" or "one to three particular songs on constant repeat", there's no in-between😂 That's why I also have a hard time deciding on a favourite album, because I tend to have some songs I really enjoy as well as some songs that don't interest me as much in almost all of them. But I think these are some that I especially like :)
No tags this time (partly bc I just straight up forgot them when clicking on "post"💀 and I'm not sure if the tagged people would be notified if I add them in later), but feel free to continue :)
#I'm not sure if any of these fit actually fit my vibe lmao#I like loud music but I don't feel like that's the first thing ppl would guess since I'm more of a shy and soft person otherwise#also this was actually not easy to decide I was this🤏 close to just whip out an excel sheet and calculate what should be my fav album#percentage-wise based on how many songs in each I consider fav songs (or something like that)#these statistics would be so useless but now I'm actually curious and want to do it lmao. maybe another time tho#like for Sabaton I had such a hard time deciding between TGW and The Art of War#TAoW is kinda special to me bc some of my earliest fav songs were from it + I associate it with one of my fav fictional characters <3#but number-wise TGW has more songs that I like to listen on repeat#also for choice 5 I was sitting there like 'uhhh what music do I actually know' bc I wanted to add one more different artist#I haven't listened to Raubtier in months actually but I still like them a lot😭 I just forget about them occasionally help#I barely understand a word they say but their melodies are bangers (and for me personally that's usually the more important thing anyway)#Hans Zimmer gets a pass for being included twice bc I'd say the soundtracks are different enough though#poll#sabaton#powerwolf#raubtier#hans zimmer#music
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hey sorry if this is a pain but do you mind posting/pasting the whole thread to tumblr? ppl without twitter accounts can't see it
sorry for the wait, i forgot about this detail. i added almost everything under a read more in the post. thanks for pointing this out
#i didnt add all the screenshots bc theres a lot of just small instances of herself calling herself. well. a woman#and back in the day ppl argued a lot about this just being 'affeminate gay man talk' or whatever bullshit#so i think those small instances dont add a lot more than the other screenshots i put in the post#i just wanted to reinforce that yes. this has been a thing from the start. no akira def didnt had this intention from the start#he changed. why cant the fandom change too.... i cant believe ppl are still arguing about this in 2024#sorry for the rant the assholes i saw were all on twitter anyway#just wanted to share some lore since its not the fault of new fans for not being able to find this stuff easily!#ask#anon
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oh god I reached tag limit. Dear god. Should I make my own post or are my takes in the tags god awful and I should’ve kept them to myself 😭
(also I mistakenly said clethubs instead of cledubs cuz it flows better, ignore me Etho has nothing to do with any of this)
ok now that im watching scotts pov i can finally make the poll i want
#tbh my honest opinion is something I’m pretty scared to share with the world#but basically it’s that it wasn’t healthy but it literally wasn’t that big of a deal anyways#like if it was a long term relationship they’d have to work thru some things but seeing as they were in a death game that’d be a waste of#time. and even tho it wasn’t perfect they liked having each other. so yeah I agree with that other person where’s cute/unhealthy lmao#anyways on the topic of 3L FH being toxic can we talk about how literally all the 3L relationships are like that#like FH is Different from the others but whenever I think ‘what healthier relationship would notice the problems with FH’ I realize there i#none. except maybe Clethubs but I’ll have to rewatch. but I think they were fine from my memory then again my memory said that about FH too#but like Scarian? I think fans make it out to be wayy more toxic than it was but it still wasn’t a perfect healthy relationship.#treebark? idk why ppl praise it for being healthy. sure it was more of a Tragedy but it still wasn’t that great!!!#so basically I don’t think it was FH specific I think there was something in the water in 3L that made it toxic yaoi#and maybe our minds twist FH into being healthy because it was the closest to a domestic relationship as we could see#I will add to Clethubs tho that there was much going on with their secret girlfriend so that kind of taints it#if we wanna get deep into the meat of it I’d also like to point out that the reason we remember 3L FH being healthier than it was#might be because we thought of the life series back then slightly less as purely RP. so Scott’s teasing was purely OOC and their characters#were in love. because they said their characters were in love so that’s what we went with while their irl selves made fun.#I’m not saying that’s the Correct way to see it (tho I wouldn’t blame ppl for choosing that path) but it’s something we were all more likel#to believe back in the day. hence why we didn’t see Scott as abusive to Jimmy since it was the regular Timmy Teasing everyone is used to.#Scott wasn’t really an Exception to being mean to Jimmy at the time. I guess ppl just expected he’d act different cuz that’s his husband no#and I’m not saying Scott is RIGHT to be mean but I’m saying that it was NORMAL. hence why I believe Jimmy wasn’t rlly super negatively#affected by his toxic relationship with Scott. that’s sort of just the relationship they had previously. I don’t think he expected anything#different when he got married. I don’t think Jimmy moved on cuz he hated the way Scott treated him I think he moved on cuz he found better.#I mean truthfully I think he moved on cuz that’s literally how the game works LMAO but in terms of his future general hostility. which I’d#argue is mostly caused by Scott constantly bringing up FH when Jimmy’s like ‘3L was years ago 😐’#and again since probably DL he’s realized he can have better. in LL it was. the same as 3L lmao.#where am I. maybe I’ll- ah shoot I’ve realized this is too long. poppy make ur own post when?#anyways I still have more to add. I think Scott was only so controlling because it was a death game and he didn’t want Jimmy to die.#and called Jimmy incompetent cuz let’s face it that’s facts. NOT IN THE CURRENT DAY (he’s cracked) but back then OH MY GOD.#Jimmy’s improved a LOT is all I’ll say.#basically while all of Scott’s actions were pretty toxic within the context it’s understandable (death games/ur supposed to tease jimmy/etc#all this being said I need to rewatch Jimmy. I started his POV a while back and never finished meanwhile I’ve rewatched Scott’s out of orde
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The Lucky One
Benny Cross x reader
Warnings - jealous!reader, some swearing, smoking, mentions of smut, fluff
Word count - 2351
a/n - ngl I wanted to add smut but it just didn’t seem like it fit, also we need more benny imagines ppl👀 i hope you all enjoy :) — read part 2 here !
“I’ve told you this before, and I’ll tell you again – you are one lucky girl,” Kathy tells you from her spot next to you, nodding in Benny’s direction. “Or should I say that he’s the lucky one?”
You laugh as you follow her eyes, looking at Benny playing pool with some of the other Vandals in the corner. Just like any other weekend, you find yourself in this bar with all the other girlfriends as you watch Benny try to win a game of pool.
From the low lighting of the room, you couldn’t deny how good he looked as he leaned against the pool table, waiting his turn. You felt warmth bubble in your stomach, but you casually dismissed it.
You definitely weren’t the only one who thought this, though, because some of the random floating girls had their eyes on him as well, staring at his tattooed arms that shined from the thin layer of sweat covering them. Some of them were even bold enough to go up to Benny and throw themselves at him, knowing that he was taken, but not caring.
Everyone once in a while, Benny would find your eyes and shake his head in amusement from the unwanted attention.
“I think I’m the lucky one,” you smile at her.
“Whatever you say. All I know is that it will always amaze me that Benny somehow convinced you to go out with him, “ she shakes her head in fake disappointment. “What a shame.”
Another laugh makes its way past your lips, causing you to choke on your drink. Kathy wasn’t dating anyone from the Vandals, but she hung around them a lot since she was close with some of the members – and of course because you were always around.
You turn around once you feel a presence sit down in the seat on the other side of you, revealing Benny who is already looking back at you. He wraps his arms around your shoulders as he gives you a wink.
“What are you saying to her now, Kathy?” he asks with a smile as he looks past you to look at her.
“Nothing she didn’t already know,” she shrugs, giving you a sly smile.
“Which is…?” Benny raises an eyebrow at her.
“It’s girl talk. We can’t tell you, and you wouldn’t want to know either,” you chime in before Kathy could answer. She is notorious for saying something that would get under his skin, but it’s not like it's unwarranted because Benny does the same thing right back to her.
Benny’s about to say something else when someone interrupts him. You all turn to look at Cockroach and Benny’s ex, Kay. Well, it’s not really his ex because they didn’t really date, it’s just a girl he used to ‘have relations’ with a while ago and who is a regular at the bar.
You shoot Kathy a knowing look, to which she returns, before looking back at the standing pair.
“Hey, Benny, a few of us are headed out to have a smoke. Do you want to join?” Cockroach asks, as he playfully shakes Benny’s shoulders. He holds out a cigarette for Benny to take, Benny’s ex gives you a smile before looking over at Benny, giving him a hopeful one and wanting him to say yes.
“Sure,” Benny answers as he grabs the cigarette from his friend’s hand before looking at you and asking, “Do you want to join?”
You shake your head at the offer. He knows you hate smoking and only put up with it because of him, but he didn’t want to leave you out.
“No, you go ahead,” you tell him.
Benny nods, before getting up from his seat and following a small group. You watch as they walk away and out the double doors, though you could still see them through the glass window.
“Why didn’t you go with him?” Kathy asks as the two of you look outside. “If I was you and a girl my man used to have sex with and offered him to smoke, I would be right behind him.”
“It’s not like he’s completely out of my eyesight,” you tell her, your eyes still on Benny. You watch as he accepts a lighter Kay offers, leaning down to light the cigarette with it still in his mouth. He takes a deep breath in and then slowly exhales, a cloud of smoke floating out of his mouth.
“I’m not doubting him, believe me that man loves you too much to even give someone else a chance. I’ve never seen him like this. I am doubting that girl though.”
“I’m not too worried about her,” you point out, but you feel your body contradict itself as you watch Kay laugh at something and place a hand on Benny’s arm to keep herself steady.
You don’t know much about Kay, but from what you’ve seen around the hangout, she seemed nice. Well, nice enough. It’s not like she and Benny broke off on bad terms either, they just stopped seeing each other since Benny had decided to leave town for a couple months. And it’s not like she isn’t attractive.
That had always been one of your biggest fears when it came to your relationship – Benny just deciding to up and leave you without a moment’s notice, or just randomly drop you from his life. He seemed to be pretty happy and content with you, though, always wanting to be around you. That didn’t stop that fear from lingering in the back of your head.
You shake your head, an attempt to make your thoughts disappear, and take a sip from the drink you had been nursing.
Throughout the night, you stay around Kathy. The two of you have a couple more drinks as you both decide to play some rounds at the pool table since most of the guys had walked away. Some of the guys you and Kathy did like were around to play as well. You joined in on some of the bets and even ended up winning some money, but some of the guys got upset.
While all of this was happening, you couldn’t stop yourself from looking out of the window at Benny. It was mainly to admire him, but you can’t deny the fact that you were trying to read everyone’s lips through the glass. I mean, you couldn’t help yourself. It seemed like Kay was constantly laughing at things Benny would say and vice versa. Then again, they could be pity laughs. You hope they were just pity laughs.
Benny didn’t come back inside until the night ended and people were beginning to head home. He said his goodbyes, even to Kay, before coming back inside and searching for you. His eyes land on you near the pool table with Kathy and he makes his way towards you, grabbing your jacket and his.
“You ready to go?” you hear Benny ask from behind you.
“Oh, yeah. I guess it is late,” you turn around to look at him, no Kay in sight. You put the pool stick back in its spot, Kathy doing the same.
He hands you your jacket before putting on his leather one as you all exit the bar.
“You two be careful getting home,” Kathy tells the two of you, mostly to Benny as a warning. He rolls his eyes in response.
“Relax, Kathy, she’ll be fine,” Benny says, handing you a helmet before starting the engine of his motorcycle.
You watch as Kathy walks away, heading towards one of the Vandals already on their bikes and asks for a ride home. You give her a wave as Benny pulls off, before wrapping your arms around his waist, hoping he doesn’t do anything too reckless on the way home.
You hate that you feel this way about Benny staying outside practically the whole night. It’s not like it’s a new thing for him since it's common to see some of the Vandals outside enjoying a cigarette. It’s just that you weren’t a huge fan of Kay being in his company, for an extended period of time at that.
Again though, you shouldn’t care because he’s going home with you tonight and not her, but you still do.
When the two of you arrive back to your place, you quickly dismount the bike and head inside to take a shower, not wanting Benny to see your face because there’s no doubt that he’ll be able to see right through you.
You hope he doesn’t try to join you in the shower either, since you’re not particularly in the mood at the moment. Thankfully he doesn’t and just sprawls out on the bed and waits for his turn in the bathroom.
While Benny’s in the shower, you decide to go downstairs and make a cup of tea to help you relax – reading a random newspaper while you wait for the water to boil on the stove. Hopefully this will help you get over the petty thoughts in your mind.
“I forgot to ask you, the guys are having this picnic in a couple of days and I was wondering if you wanted to come?” you hear Benny ask as he enters the kitchen. You glance out of the corner of your eye and take in his appearance – he’s wearing sweatpants and a tank top with his hair still damp.
“Yeah,” you answer, keeping your eyes on the paper on the counter. “Who’s going to be there? everyone?”
He starts listing off some names.
“And Kay?” you ask.
“I guess so, yeah,” Benny blinks, confused as to why you asked, but choosing to ignore it.
It’s silent for a moment, neither of you saying anything next. Then you hear the sound of boiling water, so you move from leaning against the counter to pour the water into a cup, the tea bag already sitting inside.
Behind you, Benny is staring at you with his eyebrows furrowed, sensing something is up and trying to figure out what. He didn’t do anything tonight, at least he doesn’t think he did, so why did you seem upset? Was it because of someone back at the bar, one of the Vandals?
“What’s up with you?” Benny asks with a tilt of his head.
“Nothing, why?” you shrug, giving the water in a cup a small stir before grabbing your newspaper to read again.
“Because you’ve barely said anything since we left the bar, so what is it?” he asks as he steps closer to you.
“I just said something.”
“Oh wow, four whole sentences,” he sarcastically says. “I’m serious.”
You take a deep breath. “I’m fine, I’m just tired.”
Benny doesn’t believe it for a second. He steps closer to you and takes the newspaper from your hands, wanting you to look at him. He was going to get to the bottom of this.
“What are you doing?” you turn to look at him.
“No, what are you doing? What’s up with this little mood you’re in?”
“Benny, please, it’s too late for this,” you roll your eyes and turn away, reaching for your cup. So much for relaxation.
Benny takes that from your hands too, moving everything out of your reach and using his body to press you against the counter. It took him a minute, but he thinks he has an answer.
“What’s your problem?”
“Why did you ask if Kay was going to the picnic?”
“I didn’t know it was a problem for me wanting to know who’s attending,” you fold your arms across your chest, you glare up at him.
“It’s not, but you never ask about her. So what is it really?”
“What are you trying to accuse me of?”
“We both know what,” Benny leans down closer to your face, placing his arms on the counter on both sides of you. “I just need you to say it.”
“Fuck you,” you stare into his eyes, his gaze just as intense.
And fuck him for being able to read you like a book.
“So it’s true, then?” He raises his eyebrows in amusement.
There was no way in hell you were going to say you were jealous.
But Benny will. “There’s no need for this facade anymore. You’re jealous, and that’s okay,” He smirks.
You just stare back at him, your jaw clenched and slightly embarrassed.
“And what’s even funnier is that it’s because of someone like her,” he laughs.
You don’t say anything, but look away from his gaze.
“Oh come on, baby, don’t be like that,” He told you, moving his head to try and meet your gaze, but you don’t budge and continue to stare at the wall. “You would think that the fact that I’m sleeping in the house with you is confirmation enough that you’re the one I care for. Not to mention the countless times I’ve left you speechless in the bedroom.”
“Benny!” you gasp, shoving him away from you, but he just comes right back.
“What made you jealous of her?” He questions, his smirk disappearing and his face becoming more serious.
“Nothing important,” you tell him, trying to get him to drop this conversation. You really were tired, and buddy wanted to go to sleep after an eventful night, but it’s Benny.
“No, no, no. Tell me,” He shakes his head before adding, “Don’t make me force it out of you.”
You hesitate for a moment. “She was practically all over you outside the bar, and you didn’t seem to have a problem with it,” you admit.
“I noticed that too, but I didn’t want to make a scene,” he says and you shoot him another glare. “But since you seem to care so much, I’ll remember to make one next time.”
He glanced down at your lips for a second before leaning in to close the gap between the two of you, but you move your head out of the way and press your finger against his lips.
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” He mumbles. “What now?”
Like what you see? check out my masterlist :)
#austin butler#austin butler x reader#austin butler imagine#austin butler smut#the bikeriders#benny cross x reader#benny cross
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Hey girl, I LOVED YOUR HEADCANONS. Specifically abt Ken x Reader. If you can write about headcanons abt maybe when he's jealous? You covered literally almost everything in your headcanons, so I have nothing to request except this 😭
❥﹒kenji sato x gender neutral reader
✦. synopsis — part 2 of the kenji sato headcanons because i am totally normal <3
✦. love mail — i swear i promise ill post hsr guys 😞 just let me have my moment w sato i beg. i’ve decided to just do this req + add some more hehe. thank you sm requester for enabling my brain rot! (pls more ppl do so)
✦. tags — NO SPOILERS, fluff, dadgirl kenji, non-intimate/sexual kissing, kenji sato x reader, i wrote this w my brain off again ( ´͈ ᗨ `͈ ;; pls
Jealousy was not fun for the Kenji Sato. Before Emi came along and changed him, I can see him being the type to get jealous easily. Why would you need to talk to other people anyway? You had him, he was the best. He’d make it real obvious too, suddenly wrapping his arm around your waist and pulling you close, or the following days he has you wear his iconic jacket while you’re out with him so everyone knows exactly who and what you two are. If it gets to the better of him, he’ll get all pouty about it. He wants all your attention, your eyes all over him and him only. Maybe even hands but that’s a different thing. But I think after Emi’s influence, it’s less possessive and he’s grown to trust you with others instead of letting his feelings get in the way. Of course he’s not immune to jealousy, but you notice it a lot less. It’s less suffocating for you and you’re grateful he’s grown. You did love the pouty face he’d make though, it was cute.
Now if you were jealous, which is really no surprise.. Kenji had thousands of admirers, he had gifts on his doorstep like every other day. He’ll do everything to prove and reassure you that you’re the only one who has his heart. He’ll post you on his social media, take you out on dates, all those things to wash your worries away. Lastly, he’ll hold you in his arms at night and whisper everything he loves about you. Everything you were silently insecure about, he loved. Every date you thought he forgot, he remembered. And to meet a guy like that? How lucky can you be? (He tells you he’s luckier of course. <3)
I think he’s a messy kisser for the most part 🧐. (Forgive me in advance for this part. I am not very good at these things.) When he can take his time, he’s slow and gentle. Genuinely just trying to show you that yeah, he loves you, so damn much. And he’s going to show that through his passion by taking things slow so you can really feel his devotion. Other times, because he’s always in a rush, he’ll do a messy but clearly desperate kiss. He doesn’t like leaving without one, and you can describe him kissing you like it’s his last, (because it’s really not a far-fetched guess considering his line of work) his hand behind your head and pressing your lips against his in an almost ravenous manner. He does give you a very quick kiss on the forehead and runs off after finishing, leaving you a little dazed.
He LOVES to take you out on night rides. If ever you get a little nervous/have a fear of motorcycles, he’ll talk you all the way through via the cardo he put into your helmet. He’ll take you to some nice cafes or restaurants around Tokyo, other time’s he’ll bring you to some favourite childhood spot of his. When you arrive, he’ll tell you about his mother and the memories he’s made in this very special spot. It warms your heart to see his expression be so fond when he talks about his childhood – he truly misses it.
Before you knew of Kenji’s identity, I think it would be funny if you hated Ultraman. You just LOATHED the guy, Kenji asked your thoughts on Ultraman on the first date and you went on a rant about how he threw your car at a Kaiju only to miss. (He felt so embarrassed). It would be funnier if afterwards, he began to actually do his job as Ultraman properly.. and avoided cars on your street and avenue. He wanted to make sure you didn’t utterly hate Ultraman before revealing that he was him.
It would be cute if you and him knew each other like, much earlier. And you called him Ken. And then he made that his alias while he was becoming an All-Star baseball player. :) He’ll brag about it all the time in interviews too, that you’re the reason he uses it. <3
He’s the typa guy to have a picture of you in his room, behind his phone case, in his wallet, in his car and literally anywhere he can get his hands on. He bought a polaroid camera just to take pictures of you, he could care less about the price of film or the camera itself.. he just wanted to have as many pictures of you as possible. He’ll brag about it to his baseball teammates too, considering he also keeps one in his pockets for good luck. :)
You're his goodluck charm. <3
#♡ — 𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆#kenji sato x reader#ken sato x reader#ken sato#kenji sato#ultraman rising x reader#ultraman rising
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headcanon request: how would the jjk guys react if someone's trying to flirt with them but they're already in a relationship with their s/o?
YES i love some light jealousy teehee ___
GOJO SATORU
has no chill if someone's flirting with him. or worse, he thinks someone's flirting with him, but they're just taking his order, or letting him know his shoe is untied.
he's literally "I'M MARRIED"
(for the untied shoe one, he definitely trips when he runs off)
he's so annoying abt it fr. always throwing "i have a wife" (even long before you're married) around even when unnecessary
and ppl do flirt with him, he's gojo, but sometimes... he's just a lot.
even if someone looks at him too long, he's wrapping his arm around you and loudly announcing "in front of my wife? you're lucky i'm holding her back!"
and you're just standing there bewildered with the box of cereal you were about to toss into the cart and wondering who the hell he's talking to- and when the hell did he propose??
FUSHIGURO MEGUMI
for the most part he doesn't really notice when someone's flirting with him. i think it would take some very obvious hints.
so say someone is really trying to get him to catch on, pulling all the stops- fluttering eyelashes, unnecessary touching, one too many comments about his eyes, and finally, slipping a piece of paper into his hand with their phone number.
megumi can accidentally be a little cold.
he scowls at the phone number before crumpling the paper and dropping it.
"i don't want that," he's completely expressionless when he speaks, and honestly, the flirt-er is lucky he said anything at all rather than straight up walking away. "i have a girlfriend"
and then he walks away.
and when he meets up with you again he's a little more affectionate than usual, holding you a little longer, pulling you closer when you settle on the couch or bed or wherever, kissing you a few extra times for good measure.
don't get him wrong, it's not out of guilt or anything. he just wants you to know that he thinks of you when you're apart, and that he appreciates and loves you to death. nothing could ever change that.
ITADORI YUUJI
i don't often add him to my brainrot posts but i SHOULD and i had the most brilliant thought for him specifically
if he's getting hit on, he'll shut it down casually enough, and just blatantly tell them they're not his type.
and then he'll just start listing everything about you. and lover boy is BABBLING ok, no one could shut him up
he's describing your hair your eyes your nose your hands your style- and once he gets thru the physical stuff, it gets random
he's talking about your hobbies, your weird interests or collections, how sometimes you're a bad driver but you try your best lmfao he gets on such a tangent i don't think he'd even realize his tactic for defusing the flirting is just confusing the other person to the point of no longer wanting to give him their number
and once he's done with his dreamy little speech, he just goes "like my partner!!" all excited and bubbly
he's always rushing off to meet up with you then, having got himself so eager to be around you some more
OKKOTSU YUUTA
he's polite, but firm. he can also be a little quick to say he's taken, but it's only because he wants to let people down easy!
he's very kind when urning down phone numbers or flirty advances, always giving a gentle smile and saying no thank you, or actually i have a girlfriend. and he never apologizes when he says the second one, but that doesn't mean he's cruel! he's just thoughtful and respectful of you!
yuuta's a total gentleman.
but. god forbid. if he gets one of those nasty ppl that pull the "your girlfriend doesn't have to know" bullshit. oh boy. he does not handle that well.
toxic!yuuta jumps out a little!!
for as polite as he can be, he can get nasty when provoked just right, and someone disrespecting you? his beloved?
first it's a lecture- how dare you suggest such a thing? do you often try to break up people's perfect love lives?
then it's standing up for your honor- do you know how wonderful and lovely my partner is? you couldn't even understand the lengths that their radiance extends to. this part usually gets a little messy. he can get carried away when talking about you.
and lastly, he gets personal. deeply. personal. if they're having a not-so-great hair day, or if their attempts at slipping him their number were particularly weak, he's pouncing on that. he sniffs out weakness like a goddamn Chivalrous Boyfriend Bloodhound and sinking his claws in. i think yuuta could be really mean if he wanted to.
but that's kinda hot tho
INUMAKI TOGE
definitely the funniest of all of them. bcuz if he's getting hit on, he kinda just... stands there.
._.
CAUSE HE LITERALLY CANT SAY ANYTHING ???
sure, he could play it off like he doesn't understand what they're saying, or even type a little note in his phone saying he has a partner... but...
toge definitely prefers to stand there, completely blank faced, and stretch out the discomfort as long as possible.
sometimes people just scowl and walk away, finding it rude
one time tho someone actually started tearing up and completely ran away
(you came back just as it happened, an ice cream cone in each hand and a confused look on your face. but there's no way your sweet, mute boyfriend made a person cry, right?)
#satoru brainrot#megumi brainrot#yuuta brainrot#toge brainrot#megumi x reader#satoru x reader#yuuta x reader#toge x reader#gojo satoru x reader#fushiguro megumi x reader#okkotsu yuuta x reader#inumaki toge x reader#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen headcanons#jjk headcanons#gojo satoru headcanons#fushiguro megumi headcanons#inumaki toge headcanons#okkotsu yuuta headcanons#itadori yuuji x reader#itadori yuuji headcanons#yuuji brainrot
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wasn't me no one in this home of mine voted for anything of the sort and most likely anyone I know didn't either. I forget how many ppl live in the uk sometimes peace and love to the william wanters well and truly
#HONESTLY. not suprised though british mothers in their late 30s-40s i see you grandmas i see u the gay men peeping ur head out the corner#i see the princess fantasy it is not without its flowers i see it all and i meet u with acceptance#hes not ugly tho i'm the type where i don't think anyone really is or i haven't had that sort of reaction to anyone so idk though#also tbh idk how many ppl are actually taking those tests.. unless harry styles was on there because the fans the stans will get their favs#the acalades the little titles if they can with speed could be best juggler best dog shit picker upper best at climbing shit they love it#they love it all. their twitter handles at the top that shit gets cropped in obis paint on their iphone and put on twt like a proud parent#(i get it in that sense though its steering off the william topic matter)#with their kids art. was 1ce real in2 kpop and i got out to my benefit lot of shit long story i'm glad i'm in a better place now#since i got into in in probs objectively my darkest or some of my darkest not that u cant like kpop or talk about it or be in that scape#in a way thats positive or like healthy with me it was just not healthy unfortunately. my relationship is better with it now and i still#interact with content personally and more casually. i-#still have alot of love and appreciation for what ppl meant to me even if its different now i still have so much love for shit. just not so#deeply in the environment yk that round and round#standom as previous.. no doubt at the time i was thirsty for distraction i cudnt handle myself or my life basically my#life feeling like a fuckn tornado that was pissing on me so i probably no matter what were going to find vices but i have no doubt about th#talents and passion and artistry over there. all the racism and colourism n shit that just felt constant had a part#my conduction#what i surrounded me with my landscape because its a lot of inter like personal connections and heavy online bonding n just mess where its#like my fckn life force just i was screaming from the inwards outwards and still deaf to it. for me it was a host it turns out 2 be for man#cant track my gradual change really other than a year or maybe between 2 years we grow still thbink about stuff i hate myself for doing#the change happened gradually and naturally i feel though it all had dramatics its hard to track#there was shit before that when i was even younger and oh hellscape i fear it was bumpy i'm not gonna say it got better with age or smth#cause i dont believe thats true atleast not entirely i hate all of it i some of the connections i made are so key in my growth and i have s#nice wonderful like irrefutable memories i hope ppl r doing well so bad so bad some i even want to talk to again but i know for me i cant#give in 2 that pull and the day if i reconnect i will and hopefully there'll be wonderful ppl to reconnect with in that case to meet me#its all ever changing if i think differently in the future i do i just hope that will be me coming to understand myself and development#being hyper critical of myself tho i talk about me like i jumped through hoops to do detestable shit so its a balancing game and im wonky#its the fans the stans or its the royal family entourage they are vivid in my head or the ppl who came across it and decided to just add-#their 2 sence or saw it and were like hehe this is so unserious im going to be mischevious or take the piss lol#all of which get their acknowledgement its all fun and games truly those who take it serious will and shall however
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