#But all that is more stories abt one specific horrendous place I wish(ed) to burn to the ground than physical pain focused talk. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

zoekrystall · 9 months ago

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Zero idea if it'll help or fade into the background but I downloaded stuff to track things and smacked widgets onto my homescreen to not forget. Initially searched for pain ones (where I downloaded two just for good measure ig) but saw that one is customizable for like anything you want and no purchase stuff for me bc included in that one pass and said sure fuck it. I think at the min I need to track pain bc by my memory do I go mental thinking if it just feels frequent n all or if it actually is and mind goes blank when at the doc (will just be fun translating to ger OTL I learn sm to describe stuff in eng but then it lacks in first language). Alas for whatever reason lil me never thought abt actually writing these things down (prob bc every adult anyways dismissed them to the point of not being sure if the pain was actually there so what was the point. but now. now I'm the adult in my life who calls the shots for their own life even if anxiety makes it hard).

#a wild lux appears #randomly downloaded stuff when my headache almost made me want to cry again thank fuck for that binaural vid #Btw I will not tackle both languages full on at once they're just both there to not forget either #The group goal will prob be the hardest but at least I now realize I instead of beating myself up I just become avoidant #Which isn't good either but at least knowing what I do helps tackling it ykno #Btw the apps I got are dailyio. manage my pain. and. chronic insights (which is specifically for pain my recommendation since it's made by #one w it and completely free of ads n all. got a lot you can add n visually really nice. just fancy stuff behind paywall)#Zero idea if my stuff is chronic maybe I am since years in my denialism era either way pain is pain and I learned more online from disabled #ppl than from doctors which is just oh so great. but after learning not suprising yikes.#Also reg every adult I remember school trips being nightmares bc I ran out of energy and breath fast and the stops were not even close to #what I needed to recover.#Safe to say I became a v seething child who w reasons hated forced outdoors stuff #Got lots of fun stories which totally don't make me want to combust #This one is like. The tamest I think. Got literally locked out of my room to be foces to go outside #But all that is more stories abt one specific horrendous place I wish(ed) to burn to the ground than physical pain focused talk.#So gon cut it here #Need to shower anyways I just woke up I need v quickly food after it so cya #(just woke up I say. As if I'm not since like three hours awake but just since shortly out of my bed. anyways-)#Also last thing even if a child fakes pain to get out of stuff maybe talk w them as to why they feel the need to do that #Believe kids they know their body etc etc or I will hit you cartoon style w a piano over your head #Fuck wrote one app wrong I meant *daylio

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