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oftenderweapons · 4 years ago

Note

heyhey! if possible, i’d like to place my order for a strawberry smoothie + spinach & artichoke dip + clam chowder + bbq sandwich. thank youuuu 💕💕

Pairing: Taehyung x reader

Wordcount: 3.3k

Genre: smut. Final fluff. But mostly smut. Pining. Drabble for Bangtan Bistro

Rating: 18+

Tonight we’re serving

- Strawberry Smootie: Kim Taehyung

- Spinach and Artichoke dip: Smut

- Clam Chowder: “What do you mean my meal has already been paid for?” (It’s been rephrased for stylistic purposes)

- BBQ sandwich: Celebrity in Disguise (you need to squint but I swear it’s there just read till the end LOL disguise might have been taken a bit too literally)

TRIGGER WARNINGS: okay, mild alcohol consumption (wine, brandied cherries), swearing, dirty talking, heavy flirting, making out, oral sex (sixty-nine, face fucking male receiving), brief masturbation (male and female receiving), briefest mention of rimming female receiving (just a quick lick *wink wonk*), quite rough sex, manhandling, one degrading comment, impregnation kink and breeding kink, lactation kink (I guess), mild bondage (knees), outright ramming, cumeating and creampie. Final soft, sweet surprise I don’t wanna spoil, I promise it’s a good thing.

Remember to vote for next prompt here and here is my complete masterlist!

Also, lemme self promote my new Taehyung AU

Bfbfhreb there, ready to go! Enjoy 💜✨

Feeling the scorching hotness against your spine was exciting. His eyes were there, planted against the see-through back of your blouse and you could feel them like molten metal dripping down your skin.

He was following the line of pearl buttons tracing your spine, holding close the sheer peacock blue gossamer.

Taehyung licked his lips subconsciously, his mind already wild with pictures of his fingers snapping every button open, one by one.

“Sir, may I ask your order?” A waiter interrupted his musings.

The young man startled. “Steak. Rare. And… Uhm, you do have a Nobile di Montepulciano 2018, right? Just a glass. One for the lady at the bar too. Roasted vegetables with the steak.” He closed the menu and placed it on the table. He loosened his tie discreetly.

The waiter checked the wine chart and confirmed the order. “The steak right away? No appetisers?” He asked.

Taehyung followed you as a polished waitress accompanied you to a table across the room, the iridescent fabric of your top shimmering in a holographic effect under the soft light of the chandeliers.

“No appetisers,” he confirmed, his eyes never leaving you. “About that glass of merlot for the lady. She has moved over there,” he curtly indicated the direction with a nod of his chin. Looking at the waiter he searched the backpocket of his slacks. “Now,” He extracted his wallet, looking for a note and laying a 50,000 won piece on the table. “I know this might come off as rude but I’m asking for more than food, so…” Taehyung let the sentence fall eloquently. “Tell me something about her. Name, phone number, shoe size, I don’t care as long as I get to see her again.”

The waiter’s eyebrows shot up. “Of course, sir. She usually comes here with her friends, but tonight apparently she is by herself. They usually come on Thursday night.”

Thursday, of course.

Taehyung smiled. “Thank you. But I need a bit more than that.”

“I’ll come back with more, I promise.” The waiter bowed politely and left. Shortly after, Taehyung noticed the waiter walking to your table bottle in hand, gesturing to the other table as he talked to you discreetly. From the distance he could recognise a small smirk aimed in his direction, before you turned to the waiter, batting your lashes as you nodded.

He noticed a set of earrings glimmering like twin stars at your earlobes, while a fine thread of diamonds adorned your neck, matching the other pair of jewels.

The waiter poured your wine and leaned towards you, the epitome of politeness as he explained the situation very elegantly.

You were slightly surprised but didn’t let his words sway you too much. Keeping a sphinx-like composure you said something Taehyung couldn’t decipher from the distance, the waiter walking in his direction straight away.

“The lady said she is waiting for you to drink, sir.”

Glass half full, Taehyung lifted it in your direction, waiting for you to mirror the gesture. He cocked an eyebrow as you did, tipping the rim in your direction before bringing it to his lips and taking a small sip, observing your red lips lay on the glass while your neck stretched.

Watching your throat move as you swallowed was a vision too erotic for him to handle, and he politely fixed his stance, trying to alleviate his need.

Just as his steak was delivered, he was struck by surprise as the same dish was served at your table.

If he didn’t know any better, he would have thought it a shame that you and him were sitting alone, ten metres apart at two different tables.

A part of him was pleased to realise that you had specifically asked his exact same order; however, his ego was drastically redimensioned once you started eating. You were a tease, licking your lips as the juices from the meat glistened on the deep scarlet colour of your lip tint. He felt embarrassed at the amount of details he could see now thanks to arousal, feeling like a predator as he studied your hands gripping the cutlery, your mouth opening wide for a bite too big, and the wine. He loved watching you drink. He loved watching the diamonds twinkle as your throat moved.

He was almost sad the moment he noticed you had both finished the food.

“Please, put the lady’s bill on me,” the waiter nodded as he took the empty dishes away.

“She wanted me to tell you her shoe size is seven and a half and that she doesn’t want anything less than six inches.”

Taehyung snickered and looked at the table cloth as he felt his cheeks blush. “I know I’m asking a lot of you, but would you tell the lady that I’m interested in another kind of number?”

“About that, she mentioned 100-85-120. I believe you can understand perfectly.” The waiter commented. “May I bring the dessert chart? Or would you perhaps be interested in today’s special?”

Taehyung nodded to himself. “What about your divine flaming cherry bites?”

The waiter bowed his head in acknowledgement. “For the lady too?”

Taehyung smiled. “Yes.”

The older man was glad to assist the young customer, not at all because of the tip — he would have considered it rude from anyone else, however the warm smiles and the way he used honorifics and register had the man trusting the wealthy, polished kid. He almost felt fatherly sympathy for the smooth charmer sitting at the table: he looked at the woman with nothing but adoration and devotion. There were at least twenty women in the room, some of which had way more skin on show, and way sultrier looks; still, he only had eyes for you.

Once dessert was delivered at both your tables, the flirting resumed, your instincts awakening dangerously as he made a fine work of licking his fingertips, stained with the chocolate sauce covering the brandied cherries elegantly placed on a small pastry basket.

It was your turn to catch fire as you stared at his deep, dark eyes, his unwavering glance, and the beautiful shape of his mouth, his brown, wavy locks pushed back elegantly. He looked like the devil.

And you had every intention of burning in his flames.

As you asked for the bill, the waiter shook his head politely. “The gentleman at the table over there has already taken care of it, miss.”

Your eyebrows shot up before you smirked. “Then I think I should stop by and thank him.”

“He’ll be more than glad, miss.”

“Thank you for your help. I hope your shift will proceed smoothly, mr Lim.” You rose to your feet.

“It is always a pleasure having you here. Greet your friends on my behalf.”

You chuckled gently. The kind, warm man had seen you and your mates come across the foyer so many times, for dinner or for drinks. He always exchanged greetings and was always happy whenever you asked him about his family and the business. “Will do. Goodnight then.”

“Goodnight, miss.”

You took slow steps in the man’s direction, stopping beside him. “I believe I owe you a thank you.”

“No need to thank me.” He said, looking up at you.

“What if I wanted to thank you.” You replied slowly and quietly.

“How?”

“An empty hotel room can be very lonely.” You said, looking at your feet and toying with a keycard in your hands. “I’ve booked a room to celebrate my birthday and let me tell you everything has been so dull so far.” You pouted a little before shrugging casually. “Maybe we could turn the night a little brighter.”

“I am a gentleman, I don’t really like visiting ladies in their private rooms.” He looked away theatrically. “However, how would I disappoint such a refined woman? And leave you all alone on your birthday. I believe that would be unforgivable.”

“Indeed.” You confirmed.

As he stood up, he placed an arm around your waist. “Sorry, I tend to be an old school romantic. Stop me if you feel uncomfortable.”

“I love a bit of romance.” You smiled at him, batting your lashes seducingly. “What brings you here for a lonely dinner?”

“Business.” He replied curtly.

You snickered. “Of course.”

“Floor?” He asked once in the lift.

“Thirty-fourth,” you replied, fixing your skirt.

“Pretty high up,” he commented, pressing the button.

You resisted ten floors before staring at his lips. By floor fourteen his mouth landed on yours, sucking your lower lip, enjoying the plumpness of it before he opened wide, his tongue sliding out and entering your mouth, tickling your palate before swirling round your appendage.

His palm caressed your side, reaching your asscheek and squeezing it, his throat emitting a low hum.

“I’m sorry, I couldn’t hold on anymore,” he apologised as he parted from you once the doors dinged and opened.

You fixed your hair, his hand gesturing for you to lead the way — an excellent excuse to stare at your behind as you walked in front of him.

Once you reached the door, he kissed your nape while you slipped the keycard into the lock. His hands were already fumbling with the tiny buttons before the door would even buzz open.

“You can call me Nymph.” You said, as his hands proceeded working the small buttons.

“Of course. I'm Sir to you.” He stated sternly.

You smiled and shook your head. “Of course.”

You turned around and took off your shirt. “Get yourself naked.” You said distractedly.

He clenched his jaw at your command but obeyed nonetheless. “Nothing less than six inches?” He commented as you slipped off your heels, his glance following the red soles of your stilettos.

With a hand to his chest you pushed him with his back to the wall and teasingly dragged your palm all the way to his belt, lingering there a while before moving further down. “I’m sure you can deliver.”

“In kind.” He smirked, his eyes rolling shut as your fingers teased him over his slacks.

“Naked, now, sir.” You ordered.

“A hungry Nymph we have here.” He commented, undoing his necktie and throwing it on the bed. Next, he only undid the buttons necessary to get his shirt off. His undershirt was gone in seconds, just as your blouse and skirt disappeared, your body clad in a burnt pink silk slip.

Taehyung licked his lips and undid his belt, kicking his slippers close to the door before getting rid of his trousers lightning fast.

“Shall I get on the bed?” You asked, taking a few steps back.

“Oh no. Stay right there, Nymph.” He ordered, standing in nothing but his underwear before placing his hands around your waist and pulling you closer, kissing your neck, your chest, your hardened nipples hidden underneath the smooth silk. He began walking you backwards to the bed.

“Climb,” he purred once the back of your calves touched the mattress, making you turn to face the bed, your body kneeling on the comforter before he pushed your front down, getting you on all fours. He flipped your slip up, exposing your skimpy panties. “I’m gonna rip these.” he growled before biting your ass.

“Don’t. Just take them off.” You replied, turning around to look at him with imploring eyes. You didn't want to ruin the set.

He followed your request, immediately dipping his nose in your wetness once he managed to unstick the fabric from your folds. Shamelessly, he moaned as his tongue went from your dripping hole to your puckered one, laving it lewdly.

“Yes, Sir.” You keened, pushing back against his tongue.

He chuckled, parting from you, standing to his feet and taking off his boxers.

His cock pulsated painfully at the sight of you, at the way you stared at him while he reached the other side of the bed and laid down, settling in the middle, his erection right below your awaiting mouth.

You tried to lower yourself and swallow his tip, however he stopped you. “Get on my face right now, Nymph. I wanna see if you taste as expensive as you look.” He growled.

You simply licked your lips, his cock twitching as your hot exhale caressed his flushed skin. He was so veiny, and all you wanted to do was check if you could feel that against your inner walls. Straddling his face, you settled on top of him, not wasting a second before taking him in your mouth now that he was underneath you, under your control.

He moaned sinfully, his breath hitting your moist skin before his tongue flicked against your entrance, eliciting a contented hum.

For a few minutes all you could hear was the sounds of you sucking his cock, wet slurps filling your ears as your mouth became messy with saliva and his precum. At the same time, Taehyung was enjoying your cunt covering his whole face in juices, while some of his own spit eventually landed on his cheeks, coating his chin and nose too.

He was starved, shameless, wild. He parted from your folds only long enough to say 'naked, now'.

It didn't feel like there was any room for insubordination.

You freed his cock only long enough to remove your slip, sucking it back in your mouth before you took off your bra. As his hands met your breasts, grabbing them with thrilling pain, you felt him push you upwards away from his sex.

“I don't want to cum in your mouth. Gimme that tight, dripping cunt, Nymph,” he growled, touching your clit while his tongue teased the softest flesh of your labia.

“I'm going to ride your face, Sir?” You asked, feeling your breasts starting to bounce as your hips began grinding against him.

“Fuck my face, sweetness.” He replied, your body following his command straight away, your mouth opening in brainless, fucked out whimpers as your orgasm approached.

He kept going.

And even when you started to cum, he went on.

Even when you were humping against him ruthlessly, violently, he continued.

And when he noticed a second high take over, he outright refused to let go, no matter if you cried and begged and yelped.

He only calmed down once he felt you grab his cock and begin to stroke.

He slapped your mound violently, growling minaciously before he pushed you forward, on all fours, grabbing your thighs and opening his legs so that your front fell against the mattress once he pulled your knees from beneath you, placing your drenched core right against his crotch.

His stronger hand spanked your ass. “I told you I want to cum in your cunt and that's what you do?” He hit again. “Touch me so I'll have to cum on my belly like a teen nerd?” Another spank. “Hope you're gonna stay put now.”

He maneuvered the tip to your hole, sliding the head inside.

You purred and whined once you felt him sheathed deep in your core.

The angle was majestic. His upward curve teased the back of your vagina, rubbing against all the right spots, the soft head pressing against the inner nerves of your clitoris.

Just as you tried moving your hips against him, he sat up straighter and grabbed your hips, shoving you on his cock with breakneck speed, making your front burn with the friction against the sheets.

“Sir, please. Please it burns.” You called, desperate after a minute or so, feeling your control slip.

He gave a few more thrusts before he realised you had voiced discomfort. “Inside? Am I going too fast, does it hurt?” He spoke with tenderness and apprehension.

You shook your head. “My chest against the sheets.” You explained with a small whine.

He nodded and laid down,catching your leg and leading it in a half circle motion, helping you roll on your back as you unstraddled him.

However, his kindness was short-lived. As soon as he found your calves beside his chest, he grabbed your ankles and sat up, bending your knees and blocking them with his forearm; his free hand searched for the necktie and, once he found it, he expertly slid it beneath your legs, and then around them, tying a knot above the swell of your calves.

You stared at him with your mouth open, eyes wide and inquisitive before a naughty grin lit up your face.

He rose to his knees, crawling closer to you, bending your knees to your chest and letting your ankles settle over his left shoulder.

“Hold on tight, Nymph.” He said, bracing a hand beside your face as he lined his shaft with your cunt, sliding in effortlessly, grunting at the unspeakable tightness of your sex. “Fuck me so good, sweetness.” He mumbled. “I'm gonna rail you.” He groaned as he felt his balls tighten. “I'm gonna fill you up and watch those tits grow once you're full of my babies.” He teased. “Now you're gonna milk this cock and take every drop of my cum.”

You mewled at his sinful intent, squeezing round him and feeling his hand generously finger your clit.

“Please, fill me up. Please. I want to be heavy with your babies.”

“And you're gonna lactate them.” He whispered darkly at your ear, making the gesture feel so dirty, even though it was just natural mammal anatomy.

“I will, Sir.” You cried out, feeling your end tower over you.

“And once they're done suckling, I'll take my turn.” He growled. He had only maybe three strokes left before he would cum.

“I'm yours. All yours. Please, breed me, Sir. I'm yours,” you wailed, voice close to breaking.

“You are my horny little cumslut,” he snarled before joining your mouth with his, covering both your and his cries as you finally reached the peak.

His cock drilled deep into you as he coated your inner walls in cum, the hotness and stickiness of it pouring out of you and gluing him to your entrance.

It felt magnificent.

“I know you.” He whispered gently at your ear. “My most precious darling.”

You were still drifting ecstatically, your eyes opening slowly, lazily.

“Hello Lace.” He cooed at you, smiling softly. “Welcome back, my love.”

You mirrored his smirk and wiggled your feet against his shoulder. “Hello, my beloved fiancé. Would you please do me the courtesy of untying that?” You arched an eyebrow.

He chuckled and obeyed, almost expecting you to slide off of him; instead, you simply moved a leg to his other side and crossed your ankles behind him to tug him close to you.

“That impregnation thingie really got you going, uh?” You said, wiggling your eyebrows at him.

He nodded and kissed your chest, cupping it softly and pecking your nipples, your skin still flushed from the burning friction and the recent orgasm. “Even though I know you're covered, I find the idea so sexy.” He confirmed, pressing his face to the crook of your neck, inhaling your scent. “You looked very hot in that outfit. It really made me want to seduce you all over again.”

“It was fun watching you act the part. You even tipped the waiter.” You chuckled.

“You told me your measurements, Miss 'no less than six inches'.” He kissed your earlobe. “Do you know they're the combination of the apartment safe?”

You laughed and then quieted down for a second. “I wanted to jump your bones the very moment I saw you.”

“Happy to know my future wife still gets the hots for me.” He commented, matter-of-factly.

You giggled quietly. “I love you.”

He combed your hair slowly, tenderly. “I love you too.”

#taehyung x reader #kim taehyung smut #thebtswritersclub #thetruthuntoldnet #bangtansorciere #taehyung x yn #taehyung fluff

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missguomeiyun · 3 years ago

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Tropika Malaysian Cuisine (via delivery)

Earlier this month, my coworker DT & I were working Saturday together & we ordered delivery from Tropika to our work place :P it was exciting! I’ve still been staying in .. *sigh* I don’t know; like on one hand, I know this is gonna be the new normal but I still have doubts & general uneasiness about going to crowded places, esp restaurants, where I’m exposing my face completely (in order to eat). So yeah, I’m still staying in~

Tropika Malaysian Cuisine is located in the south side now but when they had a location in the west side, I had gone there with university classmates for a meal. I remember enjoying my experience there & the food was good. I haven’t been ever since!

I ordered 1 order of their roti canai ($5.50). Ppl at work who’s eaten there said this is their must-have, so I went with their recommendation. The roti was pretty much cold when I was home so I heated it up in the toaster oven. Very chewy & slightly sweet. I’m certain I could have just eaten it on its own; however, it comes with a nice curry dipping sauce, which I also loved! It was slightly spicy (I’d say maybe 1.25/10!), highly sweet & the curry flavour wasn’t that strong. I think it’s child-friendly. My 6-yr old niece tried it & she was “okay” with it haha anyway, I enjoyed this appetizer a lot~ I wished they had option for an extra roti-only add-on bcos we had a lot of sauce left over. Oh! & I wished the sauce was slightly more thick... it was very watery.

Char Hor Fun ($17) - stir-fried flat rice noodle with chicken, shrimp, & spinach in an egg-glazed sauce. This wasn’t spicy & I ordered it mainly bcos my nieces were gonna eat it too so I gotta choose some non-spicy item(s). This was very disappointing, but I think it is honestly just my personal preference. Firstly, this was BLAND, like ... with caplocks. It had a light soy-sauce flavour but was still rather flavourless. It was rich in aroma though, bcos they put a LOT of sesame oil on this. It was crazy! I opened the box & was instantaneously shocked by the smell :O I’d say it came with a good quantity for $17 but . .. we had to add our own sauce to it.

I don’t want to compare but I have to bcos .. . yes haha you know Double Greetings...... I know it’s “Malaysian” cuisine vs “Cantonese” style cuisine but Double Greetings saucy flat noodles have that wok/smokiness to it still. This hor fun just did not. At all. & it was so lacking in comparison to the ones we’ve eaten at Double Greetings.

Beef & basil-fried rice ($17). WOOOWWWWWW!! This was amazingggg! It had smokiness to it! Can’t say it had a lot of beef but it was an excellent fried rice. Rice was slightly stiff but loose. Well-flavoured; quite spicy so not for those who can’t handle spicy foods. Basil flavour was there but not strong. Overall, I was really happy about this & would order it again!

Yeah, 2/3 items were greatly satisfying!

#food #delivery #food delivery #tropika #roti #noodles #fried rice #dinner

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midnightmisadventures · 3 years ago

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Daily recap from my double lifee

Uhh so of course we were cruisin' this time I could see outside the ship but still technically couldnt see water cause it was covered with a layer of ground. It was natural somehow? but it looked like waves rolling under turf. So it was weird.

Um i was with a group of my friends in a stateroom or our apt on the ship pretty much and we were all laughing and giggling and having fun late into the night and this couple (i think were also our friends?) came in to go to sleep and we didnt wanna be loud and wake them. SO i was looking off our balcony and was like "guys theres so much of the ship we havent explored, lets just find another place to talk and chill"

i had a little meta flash of thought where i thought "does this count spirit, if i do it with a group" but still didnt know i was dreaming.

So we went somewhere and turns out we went to this familiar area where its like a food court with a bunch of diff restaurants. So we find one with enough seats. I was gonna sit next to ally but decided to sit across. Liam sat across from me. In a red orange/rust colored fuzzy quarterzip. And we were sitting trying to order something cause we were all hungry. So im like, im gonna go ask for a menu. There were two restaurants in the area we were sitting so i think one person went to one place for a menu and i went to another one. The place i went too was called "Gardenia"

SO i go, and Aunty A and Uncle P were sitting at the bar together and i stopped and said hi and said i was getting a menu for my friends and I. I was def wearing like a tube top and a cardigan.

So i bring back a menu? and like a sprite and some spinach dip as an appetizer to the table. And then we're sitting there chillin talking be friends\

And on the radioooooo in the food court. Fucking 2/14 comes on, and i look at Liam like "r u kidding me" but he was being nervous and shy about i think? like a shy smirk. Idk very good chance that was actually him.

And i was like "I cant escape this damn song" kinda annoyed because....well idk. But i def had a frustrated tone and like i was like "literally wtf" and i think it was because liam wasnt giving enough of a reaction so part of me was just like i cant believe this song wont leave me alone and now i have to stare at him while i hear the lyrics "i cant be just friends....your messing with my head......" and pretend it doesnt apply to us like it obviously does.

And idk if double life me remembers but ive dealt with this situation a few fucking times. Have i stared at that man and its awkward and it does drive me a little crazy how we just have to pretend because he wont admit to his feelings.

But i feel a little bad for being sassy in the dream bc that was probably him and maybe not a positive reaction.

But then after it came on same ol mistakes and we were all shocked like two in a row that we all know and mean a lot to us. Thats wild. But i was like very loudly......like ayyeeeee and i was wondering if it was gonna be rihanna or tame impala but before i was able to find out, it changed again and then kept changing.

So idk whos on dream aux, maybe i was in liams subconcious while he was flipping through a playlist.

Or even funnier, i know he sleeps with music blasting. So what if that was his dream music and he woke up during 2/14 and changed it.

#dolly parton

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mikkomacko · 5 years ago

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Sweet As Honey 16

For Shelby, happy birthday love! Stay awesome xo

Harry's just gotten out of the shower when his phone rings, buzzing on the bathroom counter top as y/n's contact pops up. Gripping the towel around his waist in one hand, Harry picks it up and answers the Face Time. He's greeted with a blurry picture of Arlo, who's shaking the phone in excitement. "Daddy!"

Gasping dramatically, Harry grins back. "Good morning bug!" He laughs when Arlo continues to wag the phone around, and he can hear y/n laugh too.

"Baby, stop shaking daddy. He can't even see you if you keep doing that!" Arlo freezes at his mother words, stilling the phone. Harry's able to make out the kitchen behind him, and by the colorful toys peaking around the edges of the screen Arlo's got the phone balanced on his walker.

"Where's mumma?" Harry asks, propping the phone up against the mirror so he can brush his teeth. Arlo thrusts the phone forward, it clattering down to the kitchen floor and he laughs around the toothpaste in his mouth.

"Arlo you don't throw the phone at me." Y/n scolds, and then after some blurry movement he can see his wife. She's in her fuzzy robe, hair a little messy on her head and he's pretty sure she just woke up. "Morning Harry."

Harry wiggles his fingers at her, spitting into the sink. "Hey darling, what's going on?"

Theo yelps in the background, and then Arlo's grumbling loudly. Y/n looks down at her feet, sighing softly. "Trying to make some oatmeal for us but someone's being a grump this morning." Arlo makes another annoyed sound.

"What's he whining about?"

Y/n settles her phone on the windowsill by the stove, allowing him to see her while she moves around to make breakfast. She's leans over, lifting Arlo from his walker and setting him on her hip. "He's mad that I'm making him eat real food instead of milk."

Arlo lays his head on her shoulder, tugging at the edge of her robe. Harry laughs, causing Arlo's head to perk up. Y/n sits him on the counter next to her, allowing him to still see Harry while she cuts up some blueberries.

Harry grabs his phone, returning to the bedroom. He's got to get dressed soon so he can head to the gym for press and warm ups, but he can take a minute to sit and talk to y/n and Arlo. "Don't blame him. I'd be mad too if I got your tits taken away from me."

Y/n rolls her eyes. "He's more concerned about the milk inside them, thank you." She rebuttals and Harry cackles. Arlo coos at the noise, leaning forward on his elbows so his face is close to the phone.

"Bug, can't see your mumma with your big head in front of the camera." Arlo ignores Harry, eyes staring so intently at the screen Harry feels as if Arlo's sat on his chest in person.

Y/n tugs on his pamper, pulling him back. "Listen to your daddy. S'not all about you." Arlo whines in frustration, reaching out and smacking y/n on the arm. It makes a loud stinging noise, but Harry knows it doesn't hurt too much. He's been on the receiving end of those chubby palms many times.

"Don't hit your mumma!"

"Don't hit me!" Harry and y/n scolds in unison, and she swats him back. Arlo grumbles, reaching to hit her again but she quickly scoops him up and sets him on the kitchen floor. "If you're going to be mean you can be by yourself!"

She scoops up the cut fruit on the counter, throwing it into the bowl of oatmeal on the counter. Arlo begins to wail, and Harry sees his little fingers reaching up towards her.

"Please don't tell me he's walking already?" Harry pleads, belly bubbling with apprehension. If he managed to miss Arlo's first steps after one night away he'll be devastated.

Giggling, she lifts Arlo back up onto her hip. "You've been gone one night Harry, you didn't miss any walking." He lets out a dramatic breath of relief. Arlo lays his head back on her shoulder, cheeks shiny with tears. Y/n digs out a spoon, scooping a little bite for him. He grumbles sadly, but his tongue flops out to welcome the bite.

"Never know," Harry reasons, smiling softly as he watches Arlo accept more bites. His chubby little hand falls down to y/n's growing tummy, and Harry thinks he needs a bigger chest to contain his growing heart. "little bugger said his first words when I was gone."

She giggles at the memory, scooping up a bite for herself. Arlo whines, tongue poking out for another bite. Y/n, glad that he's no longer pawing for breast milk, happily feeds him.

"Well, we've got a surprise for you but it's not walking." Harry brightens, smiling innocently at her. He widens his eyes a bit, giving her that same puppy look Arlo gives when he wants something.

"A surprise? What is it?"

She takes one look at him and laughs, shaking her head. Arlo finishes the last bite of his oatmeal and she uses her sleeve to wipe his messy mouth. "I'm not telling you mister, no matter how wide those eyes of yours get."

He pouts. "You always fall for my eyes."

"I know," she places the bowl in the sink, smiling at him. "but I'm building up some strength. Have to if I'm going to be raising three of you boys."

Harry scoffs. "You didn't raise me! I'm a man, was a man from the day you met me!"

Her amused smirk stays on, but her tone is a loving coo, "you were my first baby, Harry. Always be my first baby." He wants to argue, but then she's blowing him a kiss through the phone and he's all mush.

Harry feels odd leaving the unfamiliar locker room, following the path to the ring without y/n holding his hand. For being on Ken's turf, the cheers for him are surprisingly loud and Nick rubs his shoulders as if trying to say "all for you man!" to hype him up a bit. Nick stays off to the side while Harry and Liam slip through the ropes, Harry shrugging off his robe. Ken's name is announced, and much to Harry's enjoyment the cheers aren't as abundant as his were.

"Keep focused, wait him out," Liam instructs him quietly, helping with his gloves. "he's going to get some good hits in but he doesn't last long. He'll tire out, you step in with a quick combo and he's done for."

"Easy," Harry says, rolling out his shoulders.

"Easy," Liam agrees with a smirk, patting Harry on the back, "win it for y/n and Arlo, yeah?" Harry smirks, nodding as Liam exits the ring to stand next to Nick. The ref takes his place in the middle, beckoning Harry and Ken forward. They knock gloves together, Harry's stomach and chest fluttering with adrenaline. The bell rings, the ref ducks out of the way, and Harry zones in on Ken, ignoring the crowd around him. Y/n isn't in it so it doesn't matter anyway.

Maybe it's the reminder that he's doing this for y/n and Arlo. If he wins he'll keep moving up, until he's champion. He'll be able to give them everything they could ever want. Maybe it's just the excitement of being back in the ring after so long. Taking out the frustration of the past few months, particularly losing his childhood home and falling into the habit of fighting y/n. Whatever takes over him, he loves, because Ken only manages to get a few hard hits to Harry's torso before he's cornering him. He keeps him trapped against the ropes, smacking punches into his kidneys and arms that are protecting his face. It takes one hard hit to the hip for them to drop, and then Harry's delivering his knockout hit right to Ken's jaw.

The cheers are deafening, but all he can think about is his family back home. He's done it for them.

Arlo clumsily stuffs his pacifier between his lips, staring intently at y/n as she talks even though she knows she won't get an actual response out of him. Valentine's day is just around the corner so she's using her weekend without Harry to find a gift for him, but like usual, she can't think of anything that will even rival whatever he's planning. He's always out done her on Valentine's day and anniversaries (and pretty much every special occasion).

"Daddy's too good for all of this." She huffs, pouting at Arlo. He eyes a tiny stuffed turtle on the shelf of Valentine themed animals, little eyes widening beautifully, and she's still working on not turning to putty under those green eyes so she hands it to him. Gurgling happily, he rubs it's little fin over his cheek and the drool that smears into it's fabric is a certainty that she'll be buying it today. At least she got something for one of her boys, she thinks glumly, glaring at the gaudy gifts before her.

Giving up on gifts for now, she pushes the basket to the food section. She's recently got a new craving for spinach and artichoke dip, and that seems like a good distraction from the frustration of gift shopping. Arlo's grunting to himself, ignoring the moving world around him as she mindlessly goes up and down aisles. Her eyes land on a box of brownies, and she contemplating on whether or not to put walnuts in them when a familiar voice calls her name.

"Zayn?" She asks, bewildered by his sudden appearance in the city. He's got a basket in the crook of his arm, stacked with bags of bread that's way to much for one person.

"Its so good to see you!" Zayn exclaims, following y/n as she moves her basket off to the side. "And another baby? Congrats!"

Awkwardly thanking him, she accepts his side hug with a protective hand over her belly. "What are you in the city for?" She asks as politely as possible, stepping closer to the basket when Arlo wraps a hand around her shirt and tugs her towards him.

Zayn's eyebrows scrunch in confusion. "I live here, was just back home for my sister's birthday that same weekend you lot were."

"Oh," she says dumbly, laughing a bit. "I don't know why I assumed you still lived in town."

He laughs breezily, shrugging. "It's fine love. Didn't really come up at the diner that day. Was going to tell Harry but he seemed like he didn't really want to talk."

Arlo grunts angrily, a low growl in his voice that reminds her of a sound Harry makes when he's frustrated or angry, and he grips her shirt tighter. "Yeah, Harry's not too social." She laughs, lifting Arlo out of the cart. He clings to her side, eyeing Zayn with a scrunch between his eyebrows.

"That's right," he laughs along, glancing down at Arlo's glare. "Passed the trait onto this one huh? Arlo yeah?"

She bounces him on her hip, but he grunts angrily at her. "Yup. He's not too fond of strangers either, gets that same frown Harry does."

Despite how hard Arlo's glaring at him, Zayn smiles fondly at the miniature copy of Harry and y/n assumes he has to be used to that look if he was once friends with Harry. "It's so great to see Harry with a family. He was torn up after everything with his dad and are relationship kinda fell apart-" he winces, eyes a little guilty, "wish I'd tried harder to keep him around. Can't believe I missed Harry Styles getting married."

He laughs, shaking his head as if the thought of Harry standing at the alter waiting to be wed is too much for him. She supposes it is, knowing Harry had sworn off marriage and kids a long time ago, and the reminder that she's the one that brought him in makes her flush with pride.

Eyes widening, she beams at Zayn. He looks at her in confusion, stepping forward with his hands out cautiously. He glances at her stomach with worry, "what's wrong?"

Arlo grunts at him, reaching out to harshly shove at Zayn's chest but y/n moves to put him back in the basket. "I just remembered something and I've really got to go but it was great seeing you!" She's off, pushing the basket quickly without waiting for another word from Zayn. Arlo's looking at her with a scrunch on his nose, obviously very upset that she took the time to stop and talk to a stranger, one Arlo disliked from the moment he met Zayn. He gets his possessiveness from Harry too, but she can't be bothered to apologize to her son because she's come up with the perfect gift for Harry.

Harry's sore, but that does nothing to stop the anxious bouncing of his leg. They're well into city limits again, Nick heading to drop Harry off first rather than Liam in hopes of keeping his friend from bursting in the backseat. Harry had slept the whole way home, until they got within a half hour of the city and he'd shot awake like a bomb had gone off inside him.

"I know it was only two nights, but I swear he's gotten taller!" Harry rambles, unable to stop himself from raving about his babies. "And the baby had to have gotten bigger too! Y/n's looking fuller, and of course my kids want to grow lots when m'gone. S'not-"

"Look Harry here's your gate!" Liam interrupts, rubbing his temples. He's got a headache from Harry's ability to talk without having to take a breath. He wonders why that much energy isn't present during fights.

Harry starts stuffing his travel blanket and snack wrappers into the bag next to him, shoving his phone in his pocket and retying his shoe laces while the gate swings open. He's unbuckled before the cars even stopped, throwing the door open while Nick simultaneously throws the car in park.

"Thanks for the ride guys!" Harry says quickly, grabbing all his belongings. "See you at the gym!"

He cuts off Liam's goodbye with the slam of the car door, taking off on eager legs to the front steps. The door swings open for him, and he's met with the wonderful, absolutely wonderful, sight of his wife holding his son's hand with beaming smiles.

"Daddy's back!"

Arlo squeals in delight, tone so high pitched it stings a bit, but not even the slight wince can remove his smile. Dropping his bags to the floor, Harry kicks the front door shut with his foot and crouches down for his son. Arlo closes the tiny gap between them, fitting his belly into Harry's hands for him to lift him, and it's not until Harry's smacking kisses to those chubby cheeks he loves so much that he realizes what just happened.

"Darling," he breathes in shock, eyes wide when they meet her equally amazed ones. "did ya see that? He just-Arlo just-he walked! He bloody walked!"

The words sound surreal on his tongue for some reason, and even though y/n nods happily and presses a kiss to both of their faces, he needs to be certain that his baby boy just took his first steps. "Hold him." Harry instructs breathlessly, heart rattling as he hands Arlo over to y/n. He moves down the entryway, only about a foot away and crouches down. "Set him down."

Y/n does as she's told, setting Arlo who's been wiggling in her arms, onto his bare feet. "Daddy!" Arlo laughs, wobbling forward. He takes a couple tentative steps, but then he's charging forward with certainty into Harry's arms again. Tears spring up in his eyes as he throws Arlo up and catches him, showering him in kisses and praises. Arlo gurgles happily under Harry's loving words, and he beams when he realizes y/n is recorded them. He hopes she got him walking on camera because he wants to watch it for the rest of his life.

"Was this my surprise?" Harry sniffles, snuggling Arlo into his chest and bouncing him. Y/n brightens even more, keeping her phone recording the two boys.

"Arlo bubba, what do we tell daddy?" She calls softly, and Arlo sits up at her words. "Daddy?" He mumbles, eyebrows scrunching as if he's thinking really hard about what ever y/n has taught him to say. Harry can't help but coo at his cute little face, waiting excitedly for Arlo to speak.

"Daddy bubba, what do we say to daddy now?"

Harry bounces him again, biting his lip as Arlo looks over at y/n. She nods encouragingly and then he turns back to Harry, reaching up to cup Harry's stubble ridden jaw. "Love daddy."

The sound that leaves him is tortured but wholesome, and his teary eyes flood into a happy puddle of sniffles. "What was that bug?" Harry croaks, needing to hear it again. This time Arlo smiles widely, patting Harry's face. "Love daddy."

Y/n giggles wetly as Harry buries his face in Arlo's body, murmuring that he loves him too, and that Arlo's his good boy, and that they'll always be best mates. Fingers stroke through his hair, and he feels y/n wrap her other arm around them.

"We're so proud of you Harry," she promises, kissing his temple. "and we love you so much."

"Love daddy." Arlo repeats, sealing his slurred words with a tug on Harry's hair. He cries even harder, cheeks flushing in embarrassment when y/n laughs at him. It's good to be home.

"M'actually meeting up with Anne for lunch."

The line is silent for a moment and Harry pauses his walking, free hand resting on the knob of the locker room door while he waits for y/n to say something. "Oh," she finally breathes in confusion, "what for?"

Harry tugs open the door, crossing the gym so he can get to his car as quick as possible, and to the restaurant as quick as possible, and home as quick as possible. He's not exactly looking forward to a lunch with just him and Anne but he knows it's needed. Whenever they try to talk with y/n or Gemma around everything gets sugar coated or pushed on someone else. Y/n needs to stop speaking for him, and Gemma for Anne. He knows that, and he knows it'll make a big difference in the constant weight on his chest, but he's still anxious.

"Wanted to talk," he says simply, using the remote to unlock the car, "promised you I'd be better and this is how m'starting."

"Well I'm proud of you baby." Harry grins, glad that she's not upset about him leaving her and Arlo to lunch by themselves. "You'll call me if you need anything right?"

Harry settles into the car, waiting to start it so the Bluetooth doesn't mess up their phone call. "Of course I will. Do you want me to bring home any food?"

"Mmm maybe some ice cream?"

"I said food darling."

She huffs quietly. "Please? The baby really wants mint ice cream!"

Harry sighs, running a hand through his hair because she knows just how to make him bend. He can never say no to her, especially when his baby is involved. "Fine. Some for Arlo then too, yeah?"

"I can share with him-"

"Already sharing with the other one," Harry cuts off, "I can get him one of those mini things. It'll feel good on that bloody tooth of his too."

Harry's nose scrunches in annoyance at the reminder of the new tooth that's begun poking out of Arlo's gums. It really loves to bother him at night, waking him up with red cheeks and a fever. With y/n growing the baby, Harry's taken to getting up with Arlo so she can rest, sitting in the nursery or living room for hours while Arlo cries and mouths at one of his frozen teething rings. Last night had been particularly tough, baby Tylenol not helping for some reason, and Harry woke up with a crick in his neck from having it tilted back on the couch.

"He's doing a bit better. Stubborn thing was out this morning but it's gone back in which means..."

"It'll be back to haunt me tonight." Harry groans.

"I can take care of him so you can rest."

He shakes his head, scoffing. "Nonsense. S'our boy time." Y/n laughs at his excuse, thanking him for helping out but he blows it off. He's a parent too and he doesn't mind staying up late for his baby.

"Gotta get going love so m'not late," Harry says sadly, "don't think I'll be too long."

She hums. "Well we'll be here. Probably go for another walk unless you'd like to come with us?"

"S'fine love. Know it's good for you and the boys so don't wait on account of me."

She giggles again but it's cut off by the familiar wail of a baby just waking up from his nap. Harry frowns, picturing Arlo all warm and soft as he cries for someone to come snuggle him. "There he is," she sighs, "I'll see you later Harry. Have fun at lunch."

"I'll try. Love you darling."

He patiently waits for her response, listening to her shush Arlo as she undoubtedly picks him up from his play pen. "We love you too."

Anne is waiting outside the cafe, round framed sunglasses over her eyes and the sweater Gemma had gifted her for Christmas. Harry winces when he realizes he's a few minutes late but he doesn't feel bad about calling y/n so he won't feel bad about it making him late.

"Just come from the gym?" Anne asks him in greeting, smiling nervously. He nods, hair still damp from his shower and falling messily onto his forehead. He pushes it back, pulling open the door for her.

"Training more often than usual now. S'more competitive being a tournament and all."

Anne nods in understanding, and they silently find a booth to sit at. No words are spoken, at least not to each other, as they search the brunch menu and give their orders to the waitress that greets him. Harry can feel his heartbeat in his throat, swallowing nervously as he fiddles with his discarded straw wrapper. He invited Anne here, he reminds himself, so he should speak first.

"I used to be really fucked up," Harry finally says, eyes dropping to his fiddling fingers when Anne meets his gaze. He can't find it in himself to look at her right now. "sometimes I feel like I still am. I had been better, for a really long time actually. Met y/n, knew from the second I saw her that I couldn't lose her so I changed. Tried to. It took a lot, I had terrible habits for years before her.

"Couldn't go one night without a drink, fought almost every day because I had nothing else to do. I never even had a girlfriend before her, I used girls. I didn't want to get attached I guess-" Harry has to clear his throat, cheeks flushing in embarrassment at the way his voice cracks. The paper between his fingers crumbles but he continues to pull at it. "Her and I struggled so fucking much for months. I was paranoid, thought she was going to leave or hate me or something. Was too scared to stay the night with her in case I had a nightmare about dad or something-"

"Harry-"

"No!" Harry says gruffly, gaze snapping up harshly, "I need to say it. I need to say it all, yeah?"

Anne nods feebly, fingers playing with the sleeves of her sweater. "She found out about everything when I had a panic attack in the middle of the night. For some reason, she didn't mind. Didn't care that I was fucked up. And she was there, always. Didn't matter if the sight was pretty or not, she was always there.

"But we still fought. I'd get scared and shut down. So we decided that I'd go to therapy." Anne's bottom lip trembles and she reaches over the table, laying her palm over one of Harry's shaking hands. His eyes fall down to the fingers of his mother, rubbing soothingly over the ink on his skin as if she loves every bit of him, even the scars and marks. He takes a trembling breath.

"Thought I would hate it but it was really good. I talked about everything, about Jack and how he hurt you, about dad, about Gem leaving us. Talked about boxing, how much it means to me and how it brought me to y/n. It was really fucking nice to just talk, and it's helped. Don't go much anymore now that my anxiety is under control, but I think I have to go back."

She doesn't miss a beat. "Is it my fault?"

Harry nods, eyes still downcast. It’s not totally Anne’s fault but he knows the reason he’s so on edge all the time is because of her. He can't let it go, can't move on from that rejection no matter how hard he tries. He can't think of any other solution but going back to Dr. Wells.

"S'too hard to figure it out like this." He says with a sad shake of his head, "I feel like I can't talk to you, not really because you just stare at me and wait for Gemma to say something. And I don't even really know what to say. Can feel everything deep in my heart and on the tip of my tongue but I can't even tell you how much that day fucked me over.

"But the doctor I go to knows me and he knows what happened, so I think he'll know what to do."

They fall silent, hands retreating to their laps as the waitress delivers Harry's blueberry pancakes and Anne's omelette. He thanks her quietly, reaching for the syrup when his mother speaks up.

"I don't know what to say Harry," she murmurs "I have no excuses for what I did or what I put you through. I never should've let Jack in our lives and I never should made you leave mine.

"At the time it felt like it was right. I thought I needed him and I thought you'd be better off without us. You always were a bit different from Gemma and I, thought you'd be happy to have a life without us."

Harry's heart shudders, eyes welling with tears and he's not sure if they're out of anger or hurt or both. "Thought I'd be happy living on my mates couch? Not knowing if you were safe or if Gemma got into medical school? Not knowing if you-" He chokes on his words, angrily cutting into his stack of pancakes. His jaw aches from how tightly he's clenched it, and his knuckles are white around the fork in his hand.

"If I what Harry?"

If you loved me. He shakes his head, refusing to look at her. Her sigh is soft but loud enough for him to hear and he revels in the way it trembles. Maybe it's morbid, but he's glad she's feeling guilty or sad. It means something, means she at least somewhat cares.

Anne digs into her meal as Harry's swallowing his bite. He clears his throat, gaining her attention again. "A lot of shit happened, and we need to talk about it somewhere where I know I can actually talk so if you're up for it, I want ya to go see Dr. Wells with me."

He glances up at her, finding her wide eyes and shocked. "You think I should go to therapy?" His nod is firm. "That's the only place I'll be able to talk so if you want to fix this, to show that we can maybe be a family again this is your last chance."

She doesn't hesitate to agree and Harry can't help but feel relieved. Maybe she is here for the long haul. After a moment of them eating in silence, Harry says what's been running through his head since he saw his old house burnt to dust.

"Talking to a therapist might help you too," he says softly, continuing when she looks at him in confusion, "know what Jack did messed ya up. You've got some kinda trauma or PTSD from it, especially the fire. You should get help, it's worth it."

"How did you know?"

"That day with the smoke alarms," he says, "when you ran outside and didn't really think about y/n or Arlo. Fight or flight kicked in and you did what you're mind told you to do. After that night the house burned down it became habit to run."

Anne seems a bit surprised at his words, like she didn't ever expect him to pay that much attention to her or notice something like that. "You got all the fight in the family." She smiles weakly.

Harry shakes his head. He may be a boxer and punching maybe therapeutic to him, but he knows he's a flight person. After all the girls he's ran from, the times he tried to push y/n away and to hide from her proved it. "Believe it or not, m'not the fighter." He admits, knowing he's here today because y/n has always fought for him.

More time at the gym wasn't ideal, especially with y/n growing bigger and bigger every day. Four months down to the exact day until they're expecting the new baby and Harry hates having to spend four days a week with Liam. He knows it's for the best, the fights are only going to get harder as they go, but he wants to be there when y/n wakes up with sore feet, too tired to make her own breakfast. He's been taking Arlo with him in the mornings, letting him sleep in his car seat or hang out with Mark while Harry trains. Now that he's walking Mark takes him for laps around the ring or on the treadmill. It's never on because it's too fast for Arlo's legs but he loves climbing on there right after Harry's finished a run. That's one of the positive things; spending most mornings with his son, the second positive being Harry's excuse to leave y/n at home.

He was able to get her Valentine's day gift together without her knowing, saying he's staying late at the gym when him and Arlo are really running around to gather what they needed. Their new sleep schedule of being up at least an hour before y/n works good too, making it easy for him to slip out of bed without waking her. She stays curled up in the blankets, lips parted with soft snores that she only ever has when she's pregnant, and Harry gently peels a strand of hair away from her mouth before kissing her cheek.

Taking the baby monitor with him, he slips into the bathroom to brush his teeth and wash his face, tying his messy hair up in a pink scrunchie so it stays out of his face today. Quietly tip toeing to the closet, he throws on some black pants and a red tee-shirt as the beginning sounds of Arlo stirring come through the baby monitor. He's quick to get to Arlo's room, lifting him out of the crib just as he's blinking his bright eyes open. Arlo's still sleepy and docile while Harry changes him, leaving him in just his diaper until it's time to get dressed.

Face burrowed in Harry's chest, Arlo slips in and out of sleep as Harry moves around the kitchen to gather everything needed to make homemade cinnamon rolls. Y/n has been eating a lot of them lately, mostly the store bought ones but he knows she prefers homemade ones, and he figured today would be a good day to surprise her with them.

"Alright bug," Harry says after peeling Arlo off long enough to slip an apron on, "let's get cooking."

Harry's side of the bed is empty and cold when y/n reaches over for him, fingers aching to feel his warm skin. She pouts, eyes still fluttering with exhaustion but desperate for her husband, she forces herself to wake up and find him. Lucky for her, she's only managed to get up and pee, stepping out of the closet in Harry's purple bath robe when the man she's looking for comes through the doorway.

He's got a tray of cinnamon rolls and two glasses of milk balanced in his right hand, back hunched as he reaches down to hold Arlo's hand with the other. She freezes, eyes stinging with happy tears at the sight of them. Arlo's waddling alongside his daddy, hair messy under the heart topped antenna headband he's got balanced on his head. And instead of his pajamas (which are just his diaper), he's wearing a lady bug costume that's a little too big on him.

"Happy Valentine's day!" Harry cheers, beaming widely. He's got the same headband on his own head, the hearts flopping in opposite directions, and he's wearing a red that matches the shade of Arlo's costume.

"Hap mumma!" Arlo cheers, unable to finish the word happy let alone Valentine's day but the words still force tears down her cheeks. Harry sets the tray down on the dresser, scooping Arlo up. He rushes towards her, chuckling when she throws herself into his chest.

"Alright love bug," Harry says after pressing kisses to the top of her head, "give mumma her cuddles in bed okay?"

Arlo murmurs an agreement, happily switching to y/n's hold. She smiles brightly at the little boy in her arms, settling back into bed with him. He curls up into her side, laying his head on her belly as Harry brings over the tray of food and leans in for a kiss.

"I love you Harry," she sighs dreamily, cupping the side of his face. He grins, cheeks blossoming with pink and slots his mouth to hers again. "Love you too darling," he sits by her feet, resting the tray on his thighs, "now eat up so your love bugs can spoil you."

They enjoy breakfast together, y/n offering Arlo little bites of food and drinks of milk. He grumpily accepts the cup, but not until he's tugged at her clothes with eyes pleading for breast milk rather than cow. Harry snickers and mumbles proudly that "that's my boy," even if he has to scold him for trying to hit y/n again. That's become his go to response to being denied her breasts, one that Harry claims is understandable.

The grumpiness dissolves off of Arlo's face when Harry requests y/n move to the bathroom, sitting her on the counter by the sink. He insists on brushing her teeth for her and combing her hair, brushing Arlo's few teeth as well when he whines for the toothpaste, all the while the bath fills up with soapy water. Hair pulled up in a scrunchie that matches Harry's, she relaxes into the tub. Arlo stands next to the tub with Harry crouched next to him. She almost starts crying again when he fishes her feet out of the tub, massaging the tender soles of them. Arlo jabs at her other foot, tickling her more than massaging, and she giggles happily when Harry grumbles, "Put your back into it mate, mumma deserves the best!"

They rotate feet so that she gets equal tickling and massaging on each foot, and when she thinks she'll melt into the bubbles around her, Harry moves up to massage her shoulders and neck as well. "If you keep going I'm gonna fall back asleep."

"Go ahead love," Harry chuckles deeply, thumbs pressing into her spine, "can sleep all day if ya want."

The offer is tempting, but she feels like she hasn't seen either of her boys very much this past week so she shakes her head. "Want to spend time with my men today."

Arlo peeks over the bathtub at her words, headband slipping forward on his head. She gently pushes it back, smiling at him. "Yeah I'm talking about you." He gurgles happily, bouncing on his feet when she moves to climb out of the bath. Harry wraps her up in a big towel, lips leaving tender pecks to her face.

"Thank you Harry, you're the best husband."

"S'not over yet," He shrugs as if his thoughtfulness is nothing but his cheeks flush again. After wrapping her up in his robe again, Harry carries Arlo down the stairs and sits him on the couch. He's made a sheet fort for her, perfectly framing the tv where her favorite movie is queued up. Arlo gets antsy in his costume so she strips him down to his pamper, bringing him to her chest for snuggles. She ends up caving and breastfeeding him for a bit, Harry watching them with hearts in his eyes as he paints her toe nails and moisturizes her feet, slipping fluffy socks on them.

Her mind trails to her gift for him, stomach bubbling anxiously but she knows now is not the time for it. Harry's prepared a whole day of pampering for her so her gift can wait until tonight.

Y/n steals Harry's headband while he's washing up for bed, scrubbing his shirt because Arlo spit up food and milk all over it when he was putting him to bed, and when he finally drags his feet into the bedroom, he looks absolutely exhausted. His eyes are puffy and glazed, green seeming brighter than usual and he's got a tired little smile sinking his dimples into his cheeks. The scrunchie that once held his hair up now sits around his wrist, hair flopping onto his forehead when he collapses into the sheets next to her.

"Ya have a good day darling?" He slurs into the pillow, raising an eyebrow. She cards her fingers through his hair, heart swelling when he purrs contently.

"The best. Thank you."

Harry hums. "Love you so bloody much."

"I love you more." She giggles, and his grin widens.

"Was planning on shagging you through the mattress tonight but m'fucking tired." He snorts into the pillowcase, rolling onto his side when she leans down to kiss his cheek.

"There's always tomorrow baby," she reminds, "and the rest of our lives."

Harry's smirk widens even more, eyes gleaming. He reaches out for her hand, bringing the back of it up to his warm lips.

"Can I give you my gift now?"

He tries to remain bashful, but by the look in his eyes she knows he's been waiting to see what she's got him for Valentine's day. After he nods she reaches over to the bedside table, pulling the envelope out and handing it over to him. Harry eyes it curiously, rolling onto his back and wiggling a finger under the seal. Y/n chews on her bottom lip, hoping he's not upset or disappointed in it.

Harry slips the ivory paper out, brows furrowing as he reads over the words. She knows he's confused, knows he's trying to understand why she's gifted him a wedding invitation for them on the anniversary of their actual wedding. "Darling, I already married you."

She giggles, nodding. "I know you did. It was one of the best days of my life. But it was missing... pieces. Family."

Harry sits up, crossing his legs over each other and reaching out for her hand. "So you want to..."

"Renew our vows." She says firmly. "Here at the house. With my family and yours, and our boys."

The silence that follows make her shrink, shoulders hunching a bit and she's panicking before she can even see the tears in his eyes. "If you want! Don't have to! I just thought-"

Harry pinches her lips together between two fingers, cutting off her rambling. He chuckles lightly, pressing his lips to her puckered ones. "I fucking love it." He finally assures. "S'incredible. You're incredible. Can't believe you're doing this for me."

"Marrying you again?" She says, smiling sweetly. "Harry, I'd marry you any day."

He slots his mouth to hers again, dropping the slip of paper to the bed as he pushes her back to the mattress, body following until his knees are caging her in and his hips press into hers. "Making it hard to not fuck you right now."

Her grin is innocent, but her eyes are sinful. "Maybe you should just do it then?"

He grunts low in his throat, smashing their lips back together. He supposes he should take any chance he gets to fuck her on her back before her tummy grows too big so why not start now?

Her hands find a home in his hair, tangling into the curls at the base of his neck. Harry groans, chest rumbling and he's slipping his hand over her belly when a cry comes through the baby monitor. He's barely had a chance to huff in frustration before a swift kick is delivered to his palm.

"You've got to be kidding me," Harry mutters, glaring down at y/n's stomach. "Both of ya? Really? Lads are supposed to stick together!"

Y/n giggles at him, pecking his forehead softly. "Go ahead super dad. We'll be here."

#sweet as honey #harry styles #fanfic #fanfiction #fluff #harry styles au #dad harry styles #daddy harry #daddy harry styles #boxer harry styles #husband harry styles #husband harry #one direction

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ri-ahhh · 4 years ago

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cheap and easy vegan recipes I eat everyday bc i’m poor and lazy

I get asked pretty frequently what I eat or what I cook so I decided to just put a day’s worth of food in one post to refer people to haha.

coffee subjective, but this is my favorite

some kind of intense cold brew concentrate (I’ve been using the brand Cool Brew in the mocha flavor)

almond milk

nut pod creamer (hazelnut is my fave)

liquid stevia sometimes, like 5-10 drops

breakfast -- avo toast I don’t usually eat breakfast, but if I do this is a safe bet. also I don’t think I need to tell you how to make this but yeah, this is how I do it

bread (I like the Ezekiel low sodium but probably 90% of breads are vegan use whatever you want)

small-medium avo depending on how many slices you’re making

spices: garlic powder, onion powder, tajin, nutritional yeast, red peper flaks, lime juice, black pepper

lunch -- salad self explanatory you can do whatever you want. my everyday:

baby spinach

extra firm tofu, one serving

bell pepper

avocado

nutritional yeast

dressing (my all time favorite is the herb de provence from the whole foods house brand but again theres a million vegan dressings)

dinner -- veggie tortilla(ish) soup no lie I eat this almost every day and I never get sick of it but I’m weird like that. I don’t measure anything tho so taste varies every time haha.

this is super great for meal prep it makes like 8-10 pint sized servings that I put in mason jars and I eat it with half an avocado and a shit ton of nutritional yeast.

4 c veggie broth+ 4 c water, or 8 c of either, whatever you want as a broth base

red onion, chopped

minced garlic

1 jalepeno

1 bell pepper

can of petite diced tomatoes

can of black beans

1 zucchini

1 yellow squash

~ 1/2 c frozen corn

2-4 T (or to taste) agave nectar or another sweetener

~ 1 T soy sauce

lime juice

1 block extra firm tofu, cut into lil like 1/2 inch cubes

you can add cilantro for authenticity but that shit’s nasty so you do you

spices (to taste, but start with maybe 1 tsp each): salt/pepper; chili powder; garlic powder; onion powder; chipotle powder; cumin; coriander; nutritional yeast; tajin; cayenne (use less haha)

- I make mine in the instant pot but if you don’t have one just saute the onion, garlic, and peppers, then put everything except the tofu, beans, and corn in the pot and bring to a boil. while that shit goes I recommend baking or air frying the tofu until it’s crispy (like 30 min at 400). when the veggies are as tender as you want them, then add the beans, corn, and tofu. - if you do have an instant pot just saute everything I said above on the saute setting, then add everything except the tofu, corn, and beans and use the soup setting on 5 min. add the left out stuff when it’s done

snacks

apples w/ cinnamon and natural peanut butter

cucumbers: when I tell you I have been OBSESSED with these and i’ve hated cucumbers my whole life. but I chop up two English cucumbers then dress them with salt/pepper, onion and garlic powder, and Italian dressing. thank me later

pretzels and hummus: I’m pretty gluten intolerant so I like the gf good and gather ones from target and the original hummus from good and gather as well, but most pretzels and plain hummus are vegan

dates w/ peanut butter: cut pitted dates in half, fill them with pb, then freeze them. they’re amazing like this but if you dip them in chocolate.. omg. I use the Lily’s extra dark, but there are plenty of other chocolates that are cheaper and vegan. I usually eat these as a dessert but sometimes I get home from work and they HIT.

#vegan #recipes #my recipes

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stxphxn-strange · 5 years ago

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Living With All of This (Pt. 1/2) | A Shrimp Gremlin Villain!Stephen Fic

a/n: this is only the first part, more drama/Stephen being sweet is to come :)

A Midtown Starbucks, 10:21am:

“And— oh! That’s actually him calling right now, do you mind if I get this?”

“Please, go ahead!”

Tony smiled and picked up the call from his fiancé. “Hi babe, what’s up?”

“I swear I almost just got into a fight with Billy Joel at the grocery store. And if it wasn’t him at the Whole Foods by the High Line, then it was a very convincing lookalike,” Stephen replied. “But before you ask, I didn’t fight him and I didn’t portal him into an eternal falling dimension either. Only because I thought it was Billy Joel and I don’t need all of New York to know that I got into a fight with him over frozen shrimp. Is there anything else you want or need for the party?”

“You got the flour and eggs for the pasta?”

“Of course.”

“Crushed red pepper?”

“I’m pretty sure we have some at home, but just in case we can’t find it I did get some more.”

“Always so prepared. We’ll get fresh prawns the day of, so what else would we need… cooking wine?”

“Not just any cooking wine, the fancy one your mother liked to use.”

Tony smiled, ducking his head behind his hand. “Even after all this time, you’re so sweet and thoughtful! You need to stop making me blush in public like this.”

“Don’t say I’m not affectionate and romantic! And don’t say you don’t deserve it,” Stephen replied. “What are you up to?”

“I’m actually having coffee with your mom.”

“Hi Stephen!” The Ancient One shouted towards the phone.

“Please tell me you’re not gossipping about me,” Stephen groaned.

“I could tell you that…”

“Tony!”

Tony smiled again. “I’m kidding. We’re talking about the housewarming party.”

“Is that so? And there’s parmesan in the fridge right? I’m almost convinced that there is,” Stephen asked.

“How would you know? You can’t cook,” Tony teased.

“After sitting in the kitchen watching you, you’d think I’d have learned something,” Stephen replied.

“You must be too busy making heart eyes at me,” Tony said. “But there’s parmesan in the fridge. Worst case scenario we forget something, if we’re shopping again on Saturday it shouldn’t be too big of a deal.”

“Sounds good. I’ll be home after I’m done at the store,” Stephen replied.

“Okay Steph, I’ll see you soon! Loveyoubye!”

“Love you too, and Tony make sure The Ancient One doesn’t tell you about—”

Tony laughed impishly and hung up the phone. “Bad connection.”

“I wish he’d lighten up from time to time. I’m glad you bring out the humor in him, though,” The Ancient One commented. “Now let me ask you this: what do you think about prank gifts? I have no idea what to get you both for this party.”

++++

SoHo, 11:59am:

Tony gleefully stepped into the kitchen, unsurprised to see Stephen reclining and drinking a steaming mug of herbal tea in the living room. His mug, of course, was ocean blue with shrimp painted on it and a shrimp-shaped handle.

“Daytime TV any good?” Tony asked, sitting down and cuddling up to his partner.

“Same as always. But tell me about your coffee, how was it?” Stephen replied.

“Starbucks is always good—”

“You must know that isn’t possibly what I meant. Genius.”

Tony laughed, just as he had on the phone. “It was nice, I told your mom about the Starbucks secret menu.”

“Please, for the love of the Vishanti, don’t get her addicted to coffee,” Stephen replied. “The two of you are already trying to mess with me is enough. You’re up to something, relating to the party, I know it.”

“Maybe, maybe not. She just asked me what to get you specifically for a housewarming gift,” Tony said. “I’m not sworn to secrecy about that. I am, however, sworn to secrecy about the gift.”

“Is that so? While we’re talking about the party, did Sam tell you what he wanted to bring?”

“He insisted on bringing spinach and artichoke dip.”

“What is it with him and his dip? First he wanted to bring crab dip, now this?”

Tony smirked. “You told him that he couldn’t bring shrimp.”

“Why would I trust anyone beside you to make shrimp the right way?” Stephen asked. “For all I know, none of them can cook. But spinach and artichoke dip sounds good.”

“I think he’s just happy to involved at this point, he must think we don’t like him even though that’s not the case. He had a VERY good first date with Bucky too, so I’ve heard.”

“And they’re coming to the party together?”

“Yes, and Thor and Bruce are coming too, the only problem is that Thor accidentally talked too loudly about it at our last meeting and then Natasha told Clint who told Steve and he forced me to invite the whole team,” Tony said annoyedly.

“Nooooo! I don’t want all those people in our home,” Stephen complained. “I doubt there’s much to be done about it but I’m going to complain anyway. If Steve gives you or me a hard time I’m throwing him in the closet.”

“That’s fair. I’m not going to ask you not to do that,” Tony said, resting his head on Stephen’s shoulder. “Which closet?”

“The front hall one, that way when I let him out I can just push him out the front door,” Stephen said innocently. “Clint too. They can both fit in there at once, even with the boxes in there.”

“That sounds like… reverse seven minutes in Heaven,” Tony snickered. “You’re cunning. I like it.”

“Is my villainous charm not what drew you in to begin with?” Stephen teased, counteracting his words by softly massaging Tony’s head.

“You’re sweet,” Tony said sleepily, shifting so his head was resting in Stephen’s lap. “And comfy.”

Stephen always claimed he didn’t blush, but Tony’s unrestricted love and trust in him set his face aflame. “Do you feel better now, by the way?”

“I’m just tired from not getting any sleep,” Tony replied. “My shoulders don’t hurt as much today.”

“Good.”

“The team, they’re—”

“Going to think I did this, aren’t they?” Stephen asked. “As if Steve wasn’t the one who gave you up!”

“Doesn’t matter, he’ll still find any way to blame you for it. He doesn’t even feel bad that it happened, he said so,” Tony replied. “I think it’s more important that we both know it wasn’t you. I don’t have the energy to care at all about what he thinks right now.”

“Just because it’s my fault that it happened—”

“It’s technically not, if they were going to go after me anyway.”

“Yeah, because they wanted information about me specifically as the Sorcerer Supreme. But I would never do anything to hurt you, you know that right?”

Tony nodded, sitting up again and wrapping his arms around Stephen to emphasize his point. “I know.”

“Good.” Stephen relaxed again, pulling Tony closer and resting his head on the mechanic’s hair. “Anything in particular keeping you up all night?”

“Nothing new. It just takes me awhile to convince myself to sleep, and sometimes I don’t feel like trying,” Tony replied. “Although I might take a nap later, or even now.”

“Can’t hurt. By the way, I had to play Tetris in the fridge again,” Stephen said.

“We just moved in, how is that even possible?” Tony asked.

“I may or may not have overbought shrimp… but in my defense if we’re going to serve shrimp appetizers to other people I should be allowed at least a plate of my own,” Stephen replied.

“Is that what you want me to do with the shrimp?”

“I don’t know yet, I just think it’s always a good idea to prepare to cook shrimp.”

Tagging @stark-strange-love @dinodaddy65

#tony stark #shrimp gremlin villain!stephen #ironstrange #incorrect ironstrange #sam wilson #bucky barnes #sambucky #thor odinson #bruce banner #thorbruce #stephen strange #anti steve rogers #anti clint barton #the ancient one #starbucks #dinner party #shrimp #shrimp gremlin fic #ironstrange crack

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hopeandtruth · 3 years ago

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Blind Date Event

WHO: Hope Clarington and Seth Evans (@xsethappeal) WHAT: Blind Date WHEN: Friday Evening, July 16th, 2021 WHERE: Breadstix TRIGGERS: Alcohol consumption, allusions of past abuse WORD COUNT: 2,965

Hope had no idea why she was here. Mainly for an eventual laugh, she supposed. Lima hosting a singles night was basically a way to get all the millennials and some Gen Z into Breadstix so they could have a really good night of profits, there was no two ways about it, yet, here she was.

Hope hadn't even been on a single date since she got to Lima, hadn't even hooked up. The last time she even looked at another person would have been in Italy or Paris or something, and she couldn't even remember it. All the world travelling, even with the writing and as much as she'd talked about it, there were large chunks missing from her memory because she hadn't wanted to think about anything. So, here she was, on a stupid blind date at Breadstix, pretty sure she was going to regret the whole thing tomorrow.

Approaching her table she could already see the man who was going to be sharing her time with her and she considered just ... leaving before he saw her too. That would ruin the fun though, so she sat and smiled. "Surprised you took the time off for a date, but I guess it could have been worse."

The fact that Anna had somehow convinced him to do this was… ridiculous. He didn’t date, not since they broke up. He wasn’t into monogamy or really relationships, so going to this on a Friday when he could make way better tips at work was clearly due to his inability to say no to Anna.

Seth was always early for things, including things he didn’t really want to do. He’d already ordered a drink, though it was rather weak compared to the ones he made. He sipped it and sighed as he waited.

When he locked eyes as Hope fucking Clarington started to walk towards him, he groaned, but put on a charming smile, playing the part once she got to the table. “Unless tonight goes incredibly well, I can still probably be at work by 10.” He chuckled, “I’m shocked to see you here at all. A Clarington slumming it with the rest of us.

Hope huffed a laugh of sorts at the cheap shot, a the only kind Seth Evans would be able to afford anyway. "You're almost cute," she replied, still smiling, not yet giving him a signature sneer, "has anyone ever told you that?"

Hope quickly ordered a bottle of wine, not intending to share but she didn't protest when the wait staff brought two glasses. "So," she said, pouring herself a glass, a little fuller than it needed to be, "why are you here?"

“I’ve been called cute with assurance, both drunk and sober, I don’t hear almost very often.” He winked, taking a sip of his water.

He ordered himself some Johnnie Walker on the rocks, leaning back. “Because my best friend wanted to come and I’m here for moral support. I don’t date.” As he got his drink, he took a sip. “Why are you here?”

Hope was thankful when he didn't touch the wine, not that she wouldn't have just eventually ordered more, but it felt more like a game of dominance right now and neither was giving in. It was almost fun, at least for the time being.

She shrugged at his question, not really having much more of an answer than he did, almost made her wonder if the people who did the pairing did this intentionally. "Figured why not. I'm told I don't do enough 'normal' things, so why not try it out before I inevitably regret it tomorrow."

“So you choose to come to a mediocre restaurant, with mediocre food, mediocre people, minus a handful that I’m close with, and drink mediocre wine?” He quirked an eyebrow, taking another sip of his drink, before waving to the bartender to order himself another.

“Well, I’m sorry that I’m well above mediocre and have exceeded your expectations for ‘normalcy’, Ms Clarington. I’m not really capable of being ordinary or boring.”

Hope feigned interest as he spoke, but the more he went on about mediocrity, the harder it was to do. The confidence was interesting though, it seemed pretty real. For how big a lot of the people around Lima acted, there were few that could actually walk the walk after talking the talk, and deep down, Hope was one who could struggle with it lately, she was just a hell of a lot better at pretending than most of the world. Fake it til you make it was essential when someone had been through what she'd survived.

"Technically, I have to be the judge of that, Mr. Evans," she told him back smartly. "You never know when people will lie to you for a simple lay."

“In the 15 years I’ve been getting laid, never once have I lied to get into someone’s bed.” He finished his drink just as the second one arrived. “People who have to lie to get laid aren’t even worth the time. I like genuine people, real people. Not the kind who would tell you want you want to hear so you take off your pants, or will do whatever they’re expecting.”

He leaned back, looking her over - she may be a bitch, but even he had to admit she was hot. He wouldn’t tell her that though. “If people don’t like genuine me, that’s on them. Not me.”

The confidence was real and it was growing more intimidating by the minute, and Hope had no idea how to deal with it. This was someone who came from nothing, realistically had nothing, no doubt less than 2 paycheques from homelessness much like the rest of the world, and he didn't seem to care. It didn't make a lot of sense.

The genuine him, huh? Hope wasn't even sure she knew the genuine her, let alone liked her all that much, so there was no way she was going to let other people try and get there.

"I'm sure all those nights in the backroom at Scandals have been incredibly genuine, I think that's absolutely wonderful."

“I don’t hook up in the back room all that often. I’m usually working, and I don’t do anything that unprofessional while I’m working. I may “just” be a bartender at a small town gay bar, but I take my job seriously because I love it. So, yeah, on nights off I sometimes have fun, but I’m much more into sex outside of my place of work.”

He crossed one leg over the other, “and I remember the name and face of every person I hook up with. Even if I never see them again, I remember them.”

Hope wanted so badly to be bored, but, much to her dismay, Seth was almost interesting. He held himself highly, without having the ego that most of the company she usually kept. She wasn’t sure if she believed he knew the name and face of all his conquests, but she had no room to dispute it, so she didn’t.

“You might remember them,” she shot with a small grin, leaning back, “but I guess the real question is if they remember you.”

Seth chuckled into his drink, taking another sip. His blue-green eyes looking at her. “I have a good memory for things. Some people don’t. We have fun in the moment and that’s honestly the most important part. One night hook ups are meant for that. Just fun. It’s not a relationship.”

He shrugged, ordering himself some spinach dip. “My goal is to make people feel good for a night. Or whatever time of day we’re having fun. That’s all I care about.”

Seth's stare was a little unnerving. Sure, people usually looked, or even stared, but not like this. They were only a few feet apart and she didn't have much to hide behind, except her words, which didn't have too much of an effect on him.

Hope took a long sip of her wine, she didn't have a response and didn't want to give him the satisfaction of knowing that.

"Well, everyone has a talent, I suppose," she told him finally.

Seth wasn’t used to being around people who didn’t have a comeback for him. Anyone at scandals always did, so seeing Hope, this woman who seemed to be stoic and reserved, yet also had the reputation of the opposite, was a change of pace.

“I have plenty of talents, but I doubt you’re interested enough to hear about them.”

He was baiting her, that much she was sure of. It was pretty damn close to infuriating. Hope wasn’t used to not having the upper hand and she certainly didn’t like it.

“You can try me,” Hope retorted, raising a brow. “But if I start to doze off, that’s on you.”

“Some of them are more of a show than tell, but I can’t do some of those things in public, unless I crawl under the table.” He winked, smirking, “but I’m 6’1, so I don’t really fit.”

He took another sip of his drink. “I play guitar and sing, I mix the best drinks in town. I’m good at sports, and was probably second or third in my class in high school. I also know a lot about cars.”

Hope did her best not to react at how sure he sounded. He knew he had the upper hand here and it showed. It got a little easier when the chat was less suggestive, thank fuck.

“You almost had me interested there,” she confessed, looking at him through her eyelashes, the exact way she knew worked. “Last I checked I didn’t care about cars, I’m smart too, I know how to mix my own drink with my own liquor, and musics just music.”

Seth rolled his eyes, “bully for you.” He ordered himself another drink, looking across the table at her. “So, what do you find interesting, Ms Ivy League Trust fund?”

That shouldn't have been a hard question, and it wasn't for most. But ever since she'd left New York, Hope wasn't really someone who did a lot of of interest rather than need. She needed to get the hell out of there and she needed her family to never know what kind of condition she left in. "Travelling," was her instant answer, "I did a lot of it for a couple years after I left New York. I wrote for a lot of magazines, making sure I always had somewhere else to go."

Hope found him interesting, but there was no way in Hell she was going to tell him that.

Seth smiled, “we do have something in common.” He leaned a bit closer, “I like to travel too. I did a big road trip across the country a few years back. I really want to go to India at some point too. I have a long bucket list of places I want to go before I die.”

Hope knew that she had to take back the control somehow, so she reached for her purse and threw a couple bills on the table, knowing it way more than covered the bill and she stood. She started towards the door before quickly turning around, "you are coming, right?" she asked, as innocently as possible, but anyone would know it was anything but.

He had to admit that this response caught him off-guard. Being paired with Hope had not led him to even consider the possibility of them going home together, and yet, clearly, that was where her mind had gone. He also had never had a woman cover his bill before. He shrugged and stood up, “taking me back to your coven for a sacrifice? I’ll have you know I’m not a virgin.” He smirked.

"I guess you'll have to wait and see," Hope told him as they left the restaurant. "I Uber'd here, busted car and all, so unless you drove, will that work for you?" Hope didn't really want to get into a car with someone she didn't know very well, so if need be, she'd just meet him at her place.

He chuckled, shaking his head, “of course I drove. It’s a pick up truck though, you sure you’re okay with that?” He cocked a brow, eyes washing over her. “I promise you I’m not secretly the modern day Ted Bundy.”

"Absolutely not," Hope told him immediately. "So, you have one of two choices, leave it here for ... who knows how long, I haven't decided, or, take it home and I can pay for an Uber, it's up to you." Hope was sure nothing would go wrong, but, there also was no way in Hell she was stepping foot in his pick-up truck.

He rolled his eyes, “the princess doesn’t like trucks. Shocker.” He sighed, “I guess I can leave her here. I’ll come back whenever and pick her up.” He had a relatively new truck, it was clean, nice. 2017. But he wasn’t exactly shocked she was so against it. “Guess I’m getting in an Uber with a woman who could be a black widow for all I know.”

"You had a choice, you know," Hope replied, doing her best not to sound too annoyed at his annoyance. "I said you could do whatever and you're choosing to ride with me anyway, and it's not too harder to figure out why," she continued giving him a once over.

Pulling out her phone, she ordered and Uber and was given a quick estimate, perks of so many people being preoccupied right now.

“Ride in the Uber with another person, or do it alone and risk being murdered. At least in pairs we’re less likely to be a target.” He shrugged, thinking his logic was pretty sound. “Im used to driving myself, I don’t think I’ve ever used Uber in my life…”

"You're acting like you're in a big city and using the Subway for the first time, don't be such a baby, it's making you far less appealing," Hope sighed, still looking at her phone. The less she gave him, the more power she had, at least in her opinion. They were using her mode of transport, going to her apartment, and she'd paid. Everything was in her favour.

“No, I’m acting like someone who watches a lot of serial killer documentaries with his best friend.” He sighed, leaning against a nearby wall. “Im also almost never a passenger in a car.”

"Well that sounds like you're just setting yourself up for paranoia," Hope shrugged taking a step towards him, looking up at him. "I figure you can get over this little ... issue for one night, right?"

Seth always loved a good height difference, and considering he was 6’2, they were rather common for him. He smiled down at her, “it��s not an issue, but yes, I can get over it for one night, Princess.”

Hope smirked up and bit her lip, staring a moment too long, before sharply turning away to greet the Uber driver that had just arrived. Confirming he was who he was supposed to be, Hope got in without hesitation and waited for Seth expectantly.

In all his life, Seth had never taken a cab or an Uber. In a town like Lima he never needed to, and when he travelled, he’d done it by car. He took a moment before getting in, shooting Anna a text just so someone knew where he was going. The Uber was cleaner than he expected… even had a new car smell.

“Texting your girlfriend?” Hope asked, as Seth sat down and they started on the drive to her place. “Because frankly that doesn’t really matter to me, but if you’re having second thoughts, I’m sure he can let you out if need be.”

Hope knew it wasn’t the case, but Seth was honestly just making it all too easy.

“I don’t have a girlfriend, thank you very much.” He rolled his eyes, “just letting a friend know where I’m going.”

Hope sighed dramatically, enjoying the game of it all now. “Well I guess I really will have to let you leave mostly unharmed then, such a shame.”

“Oh, darlin’, as long as I make it home in one piece,” he leaned in a bit, “hit me with your best shot.”

"I'll keep that in mind," Hope smirked, letting him stay close but being very careful to keep her hands to herself, at least for the new few minutes. Sure, she hadn't entirely expected this when she'd seen who her date was, or even, at all. Hope knew there very much still could be regrets tomorrow, but right now this was good and fun and who was she to push that away when she'd spent the last few nights with nothing similar.

Seth wasn’t one to say no very often. The fact that he’d taken a Friday off from work to do this date thing for Anna was not something he would usually do, but he couldn’t say no to her especially. Plus, even if Hope was a huge bitch, she was hot as fuck, and he was clearly in for a wild night

It wasn't long before the Uber stopped at Hope's apartment. Politely, she thanked the driver and led Sam into the building, past the doorman, and to the elevator. "You're not scared of heights or anything, are you?" She asked, teasing in tone, pressing the button to the 11th, and highest, floor.

Seth rolled his eyes, “no, I’m not scared of heights. I went bungee jumping a few years ago.” He shook his head. It was going to be an interesting night, that’s for sure.

#hopexseth #para

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vore-scientist · 5 years ago

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Cookie Jar (M/f platonic safe/soft sfw vore)

A Tale of the Mystic Woods

Sophia see’s an opportunity to prank her half-giant wizard, by getting him to eat her. Also some Gardening! (sadly no actual cookies or jars feature in this story)

Princess Sophia and Yonah the Wizard are my OCs, they are both adults, and part of my Mystic Woods series. I commissioned art for this chapter! So that’s in there too!

Warnings: While this story is all about safe, soft, willing, silliness there are uhhhh some really strange references/discussion about fa.tal. None occurs. King Ben just is a bit... creepy and uncaring.

----

“So, what’s the plan for today?”

The Princess Sophia asked as she and her half-giant wizard ate breakfast. Toast with a citrus marmalade and eggs scrambled with spinach, onions, and mushrooms. They always had eggs. Yonah was a really amazing cook, and eggs were his favorite food. Well. Second favorite food. Sophia had to admit, the wizard made the best eggs she’d ever had, and she grew up with royal cooks! Yonah took one more giant mouthful of his own portion of eggs, and a drink of water flavored with a few slices of magic melon, before answering.

“Not much,” he took another bite. Clearly not in a hurry. “Was thinking we could garden this morning, then I’ve got some translations to complete. Maybe there will be time for a dusk patrol.”

No way.

Sophia’s forkful of egg was frozen halfway to her mouth.

There was no way he had forgotten. Right? Someone so smart organized and all. It wasn’t possible Not in her wildest dreams.

“That’s it? Nothing else?” she risked jogging his memory just to be sure.

Yonah was looking at her funny, so she finished her bite of food to keep a straight face.

“Nope. That’s it. Unless… Is there something you wanted to do?” He asked.

She took such a big drink of water she nearly choked.

“Ah- um.”

“I could try to put together a lesson, but I didn't plan on one today. Im still waiting on a few potion ingredients, which should be here soon.”

“The plan sounds good!” She said, her voice squeaking a bit.

He’d definitely forgotten. And if Sophia was a good friend she would have told him. Thankfully Sophia wasn’t a good friend. She was a great friend. His Best Friend. And as the best friend to an evil giant wizard she got an evil idea. All she had to do was not raise suspicion.

“Ok…” Yonah didn’t sound convinced. “Would you like me to clear your dishes?”

Sophia nodded and placed them delicately unto his palm, but finishing her water first. Then she zipped off, climbing down the ladder attached to the table, sprinting to the staircase, and leaping down the stairs to the bedroom. By the time Yonah caught up to her she was in her gardening outfit. Waiting for him, on top of his dresser, upon which was her magic wardrobe.

“What’s the rush princess?” Yonah said with a smile as he took his time changing into a sturdy button up and overalls that matched Sophia’s. “I don’t have any plants that will get up and walk away if we don’t water them.”

He adjusted the shoulder straps on his overalls and held out a hand to Sophia. She scampered across his arm and dropped into his front pocket.

“Ok then,” he said, smiling as he got out his sandals, gloves, and straw-wizard’s hat.

“I’m just excited to garden!” Sophia said.

“Glad to hear it,” he gently pat the pocket over his midsection to jostle the princess, and then with a finger ruffled her hair. Or tried, since it was in it’s pretty-permanently tight braid. He did nearly knock off her tiara but she held it in place. Then she held onto the lip of the pocket as Yonah went up the stairs, and she bounced happily.

She had to hold on tighter when he leapt from the tower window. That was never not exhilarating and so frightening she screeched like a banshee as, with an earth-shaking THUD, Yonah landed in the garden.

“Out you come from there!” Yonah said cheerfully as he plucked Sophia out of the pocket and set her on the edge of a flower bed.

Then from a side pocket he took out a pouch of power that he dipped a finger into. He dabbed a bit of the powder and recited a spell in giant. With a puff of grey smoke Yonah now stood 7.5ft. About a third his original height.

There was a lot to do as it turned out. A lot of beds had weeds! Those damn seeds must just manifest out of thin air. The pair spent an entire hour weeding the flower beds. A few weeds happened to be spell ingredients, which Sophia Then wondered why they were considered weeds.

Regardless she attacked them with extreme ferociousness, getting right to their roots. Which was good because the roots of this particular weed were what they wanted. They were placed in a bag to be dried out over a magical smoke that night.

They didn’t take a break. Not really. When moving onto the Apple trees and other fruits the pair took random small breaks to sample the ripening bounty, but worked steadily to trim branches and check for sickness and fungus.

Some fungus was of course wanted! Yonah had recently planted a patch of moaning bamboo that was bred to be vulnerable to infection by void fungus; used to make magical ink to enchant scrolls and book pages. It was a slow growing bamboo but it was finally large enough that if infected would produce a decent amount of magic ink, enough to make the investment in the bamboo worth the money.

Sophia took a tuning fork and tapped the green-yellow rods. No void fungus to be found. But cuttings of the bamboo were taken. When the current batch caught the bug they would have healthy ones to replace them. Void Fungus was not kind to it’s hosts. Thankfully it wasn’t harmful to animals or people.

She started to worry that, after all this work, Yonah would insist they have lunch, and she would have to tell him.

And then she nearly ruined it by cheering when he suggested he get a little translating done before lunch. He was just feeling very motivated for some reason. She didn’t mind waiting a little to eat right?

“Don’t mind at all! In fact, you wanna eat me?” she couldn’t risk waiting any longer or it would be too late. She tried not to look at the clock.

It wasn’t really a silence, since Yonah continued to gather supplies around the room, until he stopped listening to himself and processed Sophia’s words. Then he stood up, holding a bunch of scrolls, looking at her as if he may have imagined her talking at all.

“You haven’t had lunch yet, so you must be hungry,” she added. /don’t push it too much he’ll get suspicious!/ “and watching you translate is boring.”

But then she heard his stomach growl and his cheeks grew red. “I- yeah!” he came over to the desk. His face was still a bit flushed but he was smiling as he leaned over, arms folded and he put his head eye level with Sophia. “A pre-lunch snack is exactly what I need!”

He reached out a hand to poke her, which tickled. “And I couldn’t refuse my favorite snack.”

Without hesitation Sophia got out her vial of glass paste and applied a small dab to her forehead and recited the words. Yonah closed his eyes as there was an explosion of sparkling purple dust. He felt the heavy glass form of the princess sit on his arm. He stood back up, taking the princess with him, keeping her at his face. He opened his mouth in a wide smile that revealed large white fangs glittering with drool and anticipation. She took hold of his bottom teeth, hoisting herself inside. It was a tight fit, which always made her wonder how he managed to eat people larger than herself. And she was petit.

Air wooshed by her as he took a deep breath and tipped his head back so that she slid to his throat. With perfect timing he swallowed. Once. Twice. Three times.

The princess’s feet passed over his lips, and he kept swallowing. It hurt considerably. Stretching his throat and putting pressure on his windpipe, but it was worth it. With a strong gulp she was down past his airways and he could breathe again. He could already feel her hands in his stomach, soon joined by the rest of her. Filling him up so nicely, he smiled and sighed.

“Mr HaEsh?”

It was like his blood turned to ice and then instantly into steam; the pressure threatening to make him explode.

He remembered.

Dare he open his eyes? He had to. It was too late now.

Yonah HaEsh looked down at the magic mirror on his desk. But instead of his reflection framed by the fancy gold filigree, the King of the Mystic Woods looked back at him, arms crossed. It was like the entire damn forest was looking at him. And the forest didn’t exactly have feelings like normal people.

/Had he seen?/

“Ah- Y-Your Majesty-”

Maybe he shouldn’t have said anything. Because at that moment Sophia started laughing hysterically, with her whole body. Normally that would feel GREAT; now it was distracting at best, visible and audible to her father at worst. Her father who spoke over the stuttering giant.

[art by @pythonpie @art_python on twitter]

“We had a meeting today, or did you forget?” The King’s expression. Well it wasn’t neutral but it wasn’t full of vengeful rage, which it surely would have if he had seen his daughter get swallowed whole. It still wasn’t happy.

“No-I mean yes- I mean no, Your Majesty.”

“Then where, Mr. HaEsh, is my daughter?” The King’s emerald green eyes pulsed and narrowed, his face hardening like petrified wood.

Yonah resisted putting a hand to his stomach to try and cover up Sophia’s movement, or get her to stop! Her laughter was penetrating his brain! But that would be too obvious.

“The princess! She!” Yonah realized he had a bit of drool running down his chin, but he dare not wipe it away. “Is asleep.”

“In the afternoon?” asked The King, raising an eyebrow, “Surely she didn’t forget the meeting?”

Yonah gritted his teeth as Sophia screeched inside him.

He hissed out “No sire, she did not.”

“Speak up Mr. HaEsh,” the King Ordered.

“Ah- well, I don’t know, she was very tired after working so hard in the garden I thought she deserved a nap,” and he thought he deserved a freaking medal for coming up with that excuse and saying it as convincingly as possible with a princess thrashing in his belly.

“I don’t appreciate her sleep schedule being dysregulated this way,” said The King, his voice rising enough to make Yonah’s skin crawl.

It was so eerie, and so absolutely horrifying to see The King get mad in the mirror, while outside the trees rustled with the rhythm of Ben’s words, his breaths, his huffs, and his grunts. Yonah swore the vines around his tower were constricting, causing the stone to crack a bit. Could Ben collapse the tower just like that?

“I didn’t mean-” but once again The King spoke.

“And,” the king pointed at him. Though it wasn’t exactly precise through the mirror it was clearly at his stoamch very full of struggling human, “Who was that you were eating?”

“Sire?” Yonah didn’t think he could really hide it.

“Don’t play dumb with me, wizard,” The King spat, “When the mirrors resolved I saw feet disappearing down your massive throat. And they’re still alive by the look of-”

“A thief!” Yonah said a bit too quickly, “It was, is, a thief!”

Now he felt comfortable enough to rub at his stomach, “Tasty too, your majesty,” he smiled a big embarrassed grin, “In the excitement of the chase I forgot it was nearly time for our call.”

The King didn’t look convinced and Yonah felt his heart sink.

“A thief? In the middle of the day?”

“Yes Sire! That happens, not common but not-” was he gesticulating too much? Was he gesticulating to little? Should he just stop using his hands?

“And that doesn’t sound like screaming, it sounds more like laughter.”

/Oh GODS he could hear it!/ Yonah’s heart lifted but only so it could start racing

“Nope! Not laughter” Yonah poked his middle and Sophia obliged by screaming a little less happily, “It’s terror! Because I ate them! And I am very scary. Just like you hired me to be!”

“Very well, I suppose you should go wake Sophia,” The King examined his fingernails. Thanks to the mirror enhancing the King’s size, Yonah could see they were painted with black runes. What for? Yonah couldn’t think about that right now.

“And the thief?”

The king looked up, “Oh right, the thief.” the king eye’d Yonah’s middle like one would a disappointing servant “Are they not dead yet?” Sophia had stopped laughing so hard, guess Ben couldn’t hear it now.

“N-No sire,” Yonah poked his middle again and was relieved when Sophia moved sharply and screamed at like she really was in danger.

“Not in the mood for a free meal today?” Ben asked, completely serious. “Less money out of my pocket. It costs a lot to... feed you.” There was a weird tick in Ben’s right cheek. Like he had been about to mention the fact that Yonah gives adventurers gold when he lets them live, which was most of the time, and that money was technically King Ben’s, even if most of it was deducted from Yonah’s salary.

“Not with you watching, my liege,” Yonah said, trying to sound like he cared as little for the thieves’ lives as Ben did.

“It’s not as if I can see whatever horrorshow is going on in there,” he said.

With Sophia being the one in there, that was the last thing Yonah wanted to think about.

“Fine, spit them out.”

Gods those gem-like eyes were so bright yet so hollow. Yonah wouldn’t be surprised if Ben COULD see though mere barriers like flesh, but also was thankful he couldn’t.

Yonah bowed, unable to enjoy Sophia being squished inside him.

“Where are you going?” Ben said as Yonah turned to the stairwell.

“To- spit out the thief and wake-”

“You cannot do that here? I’ve seen it before”

He had. Once. When interrogating a prisoner of war, Ben supervised Yonah swallowing, threatening, and spitting up fairy. That had been a feat. Fairies were larger than humans. Even thinking about it briefly made his throat sore.

Yonah’s face turned so red it was like a tomato. If he spat Sophia out that would be it. In the moment he could not fathom what Ben might do to him if Sophia slid out of his mouth. Could he somehow cast a disguise spell on her? No Ben would see the cast.

Thankfully Ben heaved a huge sigh, “I don’t see why you’re so self-conscious, go ahead.” He waved him off and Yonah disappeared down the trap door.

---

PERFECT TIMING!

Sophia couldn’t see what had gone on outside, but as Yonah stiffened, everything around her going tense, the pulse around her accelerating and his quavering voice say “Your majesty,” she knew she had done it.

While she had wanted to try and hear what her father was saying she could not help but burst into laughter as soon as she imagined the look on Yonah’s face. Probably guilty, smiling, bewilderment. Oh she wished she could see! But if she could have done that, this would be a very different prank.

It wasn’t hard to guess her father’s words based on Yonah’s responses.

Deciding to help her poor giant she switched from laughter to just yelling when Yonah poked at her and insisted the sound coming from his middle was terror. That should be pretty convincing, though it was hard to sound scared when riding the high of such a brilliant prank.

Eventually she calmed down to hear her father. She loved her dad. She really did. But 30 years ruling two kingdoms; 30 years being joined magically to The Mystic Woods, a mind as far from human as one could get, he tended to be a bit heartless. Ben’s body, mind, and spirit were part of a vast ecosystem that had things living and dying in it every day. So why would random adventurers dying, even eaten by one of his employees, be of much concern to him?

Still, she felt proud of Yonah for managing to get away to “wake her up” and “spit out the thief”. She did not resist when Yonah threw up into his bathroom sink.

“That was ! A dirty trick!”

He coughed out a bit more fluid and did not bother to aim away from Sophia. He didn’t speak again until he regained his breath. By then Sophia had washed and dried off, and returned to flesh of her own accord. She sat on the towel and looked at him with big innocent brown eyes.

Ok not innocent, but definitely not guilty or regretful. He reached out to grab her but she grabbed him back, wrapping her arms around his fingers. He wriggled his fingers and she laughed, not at him, but with him. He did pull her to the edge of the counter and kissed her side. She tried to get away from his scratchy facial hair but failed.

“How long were you planning that?” he asked, his chin in her lab.

“Since this morning,” she said, shoving him away.

He obliged but left one arm on the counter for her to climb across to his shoulder. She lay into his hair. The dark curls so fluffy and soft.

“Couldn’t believe my luck. Something like our monthly meetings slipping through that big wizard brain of yours!” She scratched his head, making one side of his hair stick up funny. Then she sat down and he put on his hat.

“Let’s not keep my father-” she paused.

“The King-” Yonah smiled.

She laughed “Let’s not keep him waiting.”

Ben had not moved a muscle as far as Yonah could tell, when he sat at his desk and tried to smile without conveying that he had in fact, not eaten a thief, but the king’s daughter. Sophia scrawled down from his shoulder and leapt onto the desk.

“Hi dad!” she said.

“Hello Sophia”

And no, it wasn’t really comforting to see kind emotions in the face of The Mystical Majesty, if anything it made him more eerie. He was capable of human feelings, or at least he remembered what they were enough to mimic them.

It never really bothered Yonah before but. He barely noticed. Oh sure Ben unnerved him greatly. Yet he hadn’t registered just how detached The King was.

Not until he had figured out that Sophia was already chosen as the next Mystic King. Would she slowly turn into an unfeeling vessel for the forest? Would he lose her? He was to train her, prepare her to be King. Maybe that meant she could avoid this fate.

Shit Ben was asking him a question!

Shit Sophia was answering for him!

“-unconscious when they came out. We put washed them off and put them in a box.”

Ben was back to his normal, detached irritation. But there was a flicker of amusement. Still not comforting.

“You woke her before spitting the thief up?”

He had to nod; Sophia was in charge of the narrative now.

“Cutting it a bit close weren’t we?”

/why did he care? Ben was just fine with letting this hypothetical thief die while they had a not-so-pleasant chat/

“No sir, fainted from fright. Happens all the time. They were kicking and screaming until-”

“I don’t actually want the details Mr HaEsh.”

Yonah wasn’t so sure about that. King Ben seemed to have some morbid fascinations. Maybe when one’s mind is so expanded you need some really extreme diversions to peak your interest.

With so much time wasted the talk was very brief. Ben was actually legitimately pleased with Sophia’s progress. In the last month she’d met with several insular communities in the woods. One in particular was hardly more than a rumor. The fact that she’d made contact was a significant achievement. Not that she knew why, but she was glad to go on about the new spell she’d learned, none the wiser about her growing connection to The Woods.

Still, Yonah didn’t breathe easy until Ben’s face faded from the mirror.

Sophia sighed and turned to look up at him.

“Im going to get you back for this,” he said, “especially since you were this close” he held his thumb and pointer finger about an inch apart, “To Ben seeing you eaten. He saw you feet.”

“Ah!” She finally looked guilty, “Well- I couldn’t resist”

No. She wouldn’t be Sophia if she’d done anything else. He even suspected that his mirror had delayed establishing the link and made a mental note to be kinder to it.

“-if you want to eat me again.”

Yonah scooped her up, cradling her in his arms. “You’ve certainly earned the honor of being my dessert tonight,” he cooed. “And I’d better get some belly rubs. But that doesn’t count as payback.”

“You’re going to eat me now too?”

He chuckled and shook his head, “No. We should have actual lunch; like we normally do after talking with your father-”

“The King!” she declared, standing up unsteady and pulling herself onto his shoulder.

He laughed so hard she almost fell back into his arms.

And they went downstairs.

[FIN] if you liked PLEASE REBLOG!

REBLOGS HELP SPREAD MY WORK! I also love knowing that people read my stories! My askbox and DMs are OPEN!!! let me know!!!

[Thanks for reading! please reblog! Or message me telling me what you think! I crave feedback! For more mystic woods go to vore-scientist.tumblr.com/tagged/mystic+woods+story or search ‘mystic woods story’

#safe vore #soft vore #extreme cuddling #g/t vore #nonfatal vore #sfw vore

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mszegedy · 5 years ago

Text

mszegedy’s nutrition guide for people who want to lose weight without getting another ED

This post was prompted by an acquaintance of mine who asked for help losing weight for trans reasons. It is written from a DID-centric point of view (because we both have it), and is intended for people who’ve already been through an ED, and are trying to be careful to not get another one. That said, most of the information in this guide is useful to everyone.

I know I am dipping my toes in a deep pool here, on a website where people have strong opinions about nutrition science, and about EDs, and about body positivity. Let me say this much: if you are currently experiencing or recovering from an ED, this guide is not for you. This is not a guide that will magically let you jump from hating your body and diet to being both thin and healthy. This is for people who already have a degree of confidence in themselves, and a degree of love for their body, and are just afraid of trying to make any changes to their weight at all, because they worry they’ll get an ED. If you still have an ED, then you need to get help for that first, and then, once you’re more confident, come back and read this guide.

Alright, so, as a system with a host who’s a trans biochemist with an interest in nutrition chemistry, and as a system that’s had an ED before (basic binge/restrict anorexia, but motivated by money rather than weight), this is what we’ve got to say about healthy weight loss:

First of all, the body positivity mantra, which I’m sure you’ve heard before but needs to be the headline of any weight loss guide: the healthiest weight is whatever makes you the happiest. It is not healthy to push yourself too hard to lose weight. It is also not healthy to hate your body. Find a comfortable balance between the two. For us, as a system experiencing gender dysphoria, that first meant putting a lot of effort into looking the way we wanted to, and then gradually easing up as we got more comfortable with the peculiarities of our body.

The single aspect of your diet that impacts your health the most is regularity. This doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to get the same amount of each nutrient every day, or even the same amount of calories per day. What it does mean is that you have to add eating each day to your schedule. If you have a history of ED, you may simply forget to eat most of the time. (I know we do.) That’s why you have to manually take control, and nail down a time window each day when you can eat. Even if it’s just once, although you should work your way up to two or three eventually. I don’t know how your system works, but in ours, basically, I do all the diet planning and execution, and everyone else whines about it (even our host, who shares our job as a biochemist).

Calories are good. Calories are fuel. If you are consuming calories, you are alive. Be far more afraid of not consuming enough calories than of consuming too many. Extra calories are ballast, supporting you on days when you can’t eat as much. Missing calories are death. Every calorie you eat is precious brain and body fuel. Your peak performance, especially brainwise, is when you’re not missing any fuel. Start worrying about whether you’ve had enough calories each day. But don’t count them! The number doesn’t matter! Trust me on this, the only meaningful part of your calorie intake is the digit in the thousands place, and if you try to calculate that, you’ll just end up counting calories again like a chump. Instead, just check whether you’re going to bed hungry or not. If you’re not hungry at the end of the day, and you’ve actually eaten, you’ve won that day. Learn to eyeball how much food lets you end a day like that.

Now that you’re forbidden to mess with the amount of calories you’re getting (beyond just making sure you’re getting enough), what can you mess with? Your diet’s nutrient breakdown. This is where knowing biochemistry comes in handy, because there’s SO many different kinds of nutrients to keep track of. First of all, the stuff that contains calories:

Sugars: The primordial fuel source. Pure energy, as far as your body is concerned. Avoid when trying to lose weight, but don’t feel guilty if you’re supplementing your calorie intake with it in small amounts on days when you otherwise wouldn’t be getting enough. Remember that there’s a really easy way to tell whether something contains sugar, namely whether it’s sweet. (Some things, like milk, aren’t sweet and still contain sugar. You just have to memorize those. And of course some things have non-sugar sweeteners in them, but in that case it’ll be obvious.)

Digestible starches: Sugars with a price. Still no nutritional value beyond energy, although they tend to come bundled with other nutrients like proteins. Again, not great if you’re trying to lose weight, but there’s no need to cut them out completely, unless you really don’t care about not being able to eat, say, potatoes. (There are also people who are helped by no-carb diets in other ways than weight loss for mysterious reasons, probably relating to allergies, but it’s not the end-all be-all of healthy diets that keto people make it out to be.)

Fats: A pretty inconvenient source of energy; breaking them down puts annoying, difficult-to-metabolize acids into your blood, and doesn’t net you all that much energy anyway. An ideal calorie source for losing weight; just make sure to consume as few sat fats as possible, and preferably no trans fats at all, which should be easy if you stay away from fast food places and stick to establishments that change out the oil in their fryers every, idk, 3 hours or so.

Amino acids and proteins: Now we’re getting somewhere! These guys are the “worst” energy sources out there. Breaking them up is very expensive, and turning the resulting amino acids into digestible calorie sources is a complicated and annoying process. But amino acids are a nutrient in their own right; every cell in your body is making tons of proteins continuously, some of them building important structures like skin and muscle, and they need a continuous supply of amino acids to do it. So, proteins? Great. Fantastic. You can’t have enough of them. Eat eggs and cheese and soy products, and if you’re that kind of person, meat. You can tell it's got amino acids and/or proteins in it when it tastes savory ("umami"); that's mainly the taste of glutamate, an important amino acid. Gluten is also made of proteins, but it’s even harder to digest than most other sources of protein, so you might have problems with it; and it comes bundled with a lot of starches, so, ehhh.

So, now for a couple non-calorie sources:

Vitamins: Vitamins have nothing in common with each other collectively; they’re just a bunch of random minor nutrients. If you’ve got your vitamins A, C, and D sorted out, then the only ones I’d worry about are folate (B9) and cobalamin (B12). B9 because it’s important for your brain, and tends to be missing in sufficient quantities from modern diets; we take methylfolate supplements every morning to make sure we get enough of it. B12 because it’s important in general, and may be missing in sufficient quantities from your diet, depending on what you eat. It’s only found in animal products, like meat, dairy and eggs. If you’re eating at least one of those regularly, I wouldn’t worry about it too much.

Omega-3 fatty acids: Technically contain calories, but not enough of them to matter. Found in fish, and good for your brain. We’re vegetarian, but we take two capsules of these every morning, because they really help with depression and memory, which are both problems for us.

Iron: Found in meat, beans, falafel, spinach, and lentils, among other things (like cocoa!). Needed to replenish blood. You shouldn’t need supplements for this unless you actually get diagnosed with iron deficiency, or lose a LOT of blood in a short time (which, uh, happens).

Water and sodium: Long story short, your blood is counterfeit seawater. Land organisms don't actually exist; we just brought the sea with us when we crawled out of it. To counterfeit seawater, you need water and sodium. Hence, why they're important nutrients to us. Your kidneys do an excellent job of maintaining a particular level of sodium in your blood, but if you eat too much more sodium than you drink water, or drink too much more water than you eat sodium, then they won't be able to keep up. You usually shouldn't have to worry about this, but if everything you eat is salty, then maaaybe you should drink more water, or dial down the sodium in your diet. (Anything wet contains water, from energy drinks to the juices of fruits to sauces, so it's not very hard to get water. But some things contain a higher sodium-to-water ratio than you need, so they won't help you balance out a salty diet. Be mindful.)

Dietary fiber, aka non-digestible starches: I don’t have anything interesting to say about these. Conventional wisdom about fiber seems to be correct, as far as I know. I only listed it because it’s in most nutrition facts in the US.

So, now that you know the roles of the various kinds of nutrients, just eyeball the correct amounts of them for your diet. Broadly, the less carbs you eat, the more weight you’ll lose, but it’s not a race. Find a nutritious diet that makes you happy. Think about all your favorite foods and ingredients, and think about their nutrient breakdowns. Mentally award yourself points for eating nutritionally diverse foods. It’s a healthy thing to turn your ED instincts towards. Good luck!

(If people ask for sources I’ll add them, but I’ve already spent way too much time on this guide, so I won’t do it immediately.)

#biochemistry #nutrition #did #trans #ed #weight loss #nutritron science #eating disorders #health

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