#this took me a minute bcs I had to think tho
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top 10 snacks go 🎤
1) Puffcorn but only the butter flavour. That shit is my safe food currently and feeds my desire to eat packing peanuts.
2) honey bbq anytizers by Tyson. Also a safe food (at the moment. It comes and goes) I’ll make a bowl and just eat them as a snack tho so it counts
3) a green apple with peanut butter and dark chocolate chips (specifically I slice the apple thin, spread peanut butter on said appey slice, and then dip it in my bowl of choccy chips so it’s a thin layer)
4) açaí bowls with walnuts, pecans, and dark chocolate chips as the toppings
5) protein smoothie pouches by welches (they’re in pouches like the apple sauce pouches. Very good go to snack and protein so filling when brain says food bad)
6) lunchables (I like the hillshire farm brand more than actual lunchables tho. They have salami. And no crackers so I can pick my own.)
7) sourdough bread. The super crusty kind. I toast it in a pan instead of the toaster (me and the toaster are not friends)
8) pizza rolls (I like the pepperoni ones but I wanna try the pepperoni & bacon ones) they have to be super crispy tho.
9) spinach artichoke dip (or some variation of it). I will dip so much stuff in it. Chips, veggies, chikky nuggies. A good way for me to eat pretty balanced when my brain says food is icky.
10) sliced turkey (like deli meat for sandwiches) with just plain ass yellow mustard on it. Idk. I was fed this as a kid and now whenever there’s turkey lunch meat in the house I do this.
✨BONUS ANSWER (bcs imma be bullied for this probably)✨
Cold hotdogs. Just straight outta the package. If we make hotdogs for dinner we have to pull out an extra pack bcs me and my older sibling (who I live will) will both just eat them outta the package (thawed of course. Not frozen)
#obsidian rambles#about the weirdo who runs this blog#hi my bread friend!!!#also#I can’t find the kinnporsche poll 😔 I tried. very hard.#bestie I rarely eat just a snack. I’m the type of person to just have a plate of snacks and call it a meal#I was strugglin I’m sorry#I’ve been eating puffcorn for like 2 or 3 months straight now. like 2 bags a week sometimes#it’s a ✨problem✨#and I can’t fucking find it sometimes and that’s annoying#also bestie. you always ask the most random shit I love it#this took me a minute bcs I had to think tho#legit all I’ve been eating lately is puffcorn
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alongside someone like you
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#itafushi#fushiita#fanart#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#jjk 266#jjk leaks#i feel like i say this after every piece at this point but iam once again. SO TIRED#collapses dead#cries i did it again i ws up all last night finishing the first 1.....tht one took *counts* 8 hours...#got 3 hrs sleep n picked up where i left off on th second one at 8 in the morning#2nd one absolutely ruined me n made the third one feel like a herculean task . even tho its literally just them on a bed#rooms....KITCHENS......beloathed!!!! public enemy no1 kill on sight!!!!!!#hell is real and they make u render different rooms of houses from scratch no perspective tool no clue what ur doing#n they see how long it takes u to completely lose it#clipped yuujis bangs back tho n i thought tht was cute . silver linings#1ST ONE WAS SO FUN ALSO idk if its bc outdoor environments r forgiving or bc i had more energy n was fresh faced n hopeful or what#but it is by far my favourite. once again pulled out nearly every nature brush in my arsenal#third one meh simple safe soft w/e i was just so exhausted after th kitchen tht working on it was such a slog#oh ya i added a bunch of scars 2 yuuji's arms n lobbed off his ring finger sighs the yuuji injury list (tm) grows every minute#also HINA USE YELLOW CHALLENGE CLEAR golden hour in2 sunset my beloved <333 easy warm light + safe homey Peaceful vibes...bless#cries eternally thinking abt them let us have this let THEM have this pls thank u#ok i need to not look at these anymore take them enjoy my contribution 2 the domestic itfs pile
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OH ARTHUR BENNETT.. such a gorgeous and intriguing character. terribly burdened by a GRUESOME set of crimes, his light suffocated by a HEAVY century of GUILT. so tragic, so dark and broody, and yet PAINFULLY awkward in any social setting ever
#jrwi fanart#cw blood#jrwi show#jrwi suckening#arthur bennett#OUHH THIS ONE WAS SITTING IN MY WIPS FOR SO LOOOONGwhen i took it out there was mould on it :sob:#BUT i think i was able to fix it up okay#i keep seeing SO MANY MISTAKES RRAAAHHH BUT YOU DONT SEE THEM RIGHT?? THATS ONLY ME. RIGHT?? EXACTLY.#THE KEY IS TO SAY. AND REPEAT AFTER ME. 'FUUUCK IT WE BALL#so anyway. arthur bennett huh? grizzly says that arthur is reaal fuckin difficult to play. and i SUPER get that. i mean LOOK AT HIM..#grizz often needs a minute to think abt what hes gonna say in a way that matches w that Stoic Personality. which is FAIR but also that#ends up making way for awkward confrontations like: the lady in the parky lot. he took too long to answer and scared her away.& I LOVE THAT#arthur is tragic and sad and cool and stoic but hes ALSO awkward and silly and kinda dumb and short sighted. HE HAS COMPLEXITIES#I LOVE WHEN TTRPG CHARACTERS HAVE A GOOD SET OF SHORTCOMINGS. ESPECIALLY WHEN U FIND THEM ONLY AS U PLAY THEM.#I COULd go on and on saying the same things w different words abt arthurs intriguing and entertaining character but i shall spare u. for no#ILL ALSO MENTION HOW MUCH I LOVE HIS FLAVOR THO.. I LOVE TALL HOT BOY WHOS ONE W THE DARKNESS.. I REMEMBER WHEN HE FIRST MENTIONED THE#BADLUCK. N I WAS LIKE OOOHH THATS WHY HIS DESIGN IS SO COOL N CHAOTIC N ASYMMETRICAL. HES UNLUCKY!!! i love love love his design so much...#GRaaauruguguraguhhghghgh what else what else is there for me to spew on abt...i think im reachin a limit here..OH MAGNUS. i hope that#we get to know more abt how magnus and arthur met.. like How they became besties... ouuhh... I ALSO WANNA KNOW MORE ABT MARY DAVIS. LIKEHOW#he also apparently spent alotta time in a zone dominated by edward twilight? all he remembers is constant partying? I WANNA KNOW MORE..#i think i got room 4 one more ramble SO. THE ART PIECE.as i said its gone a lil stale BUT. im still very proud o the bits where hes allScar#I WANNA SEE HIM GET SCARYMORE. I like the idea of shadows solidifying to make him strange and eerie.like TEETH n CLAWS n SPINES n YESS#also the SILVER EYES.no1 does silver eyes like the show Claymore. they make em look so striking and eerie...i also like to think that#human arthur had deep beautiful brown eyes.just in my beaitufl heart.i mean look at him..i wanna cook him n eat him.ANYWAY#i think thats all my ramblin for this piece. now i gotta go cancel a single day i had ata hotel bc my work schedule change last minute FUCK#feel free to ramble in my tags aswell tho i read all of them and i chew on thenm and i love them so sos os mcuh
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I pretty much just live at my job
#2 selfie posts in one night? more likely than u think!#i took the one on the left tonight and i just think i look hot ok#I'm self obsessed#also it took me FOREVER to get home tonight#bc i had a table come in 10 minutes before we closed#annoying as shit#anyway I'm v bored now#mine#selfie#me#chat with me!#chat#pls be normal if you message me tho#I'm begging#alt girls#septum ring#short girls
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okay does anybody else here do that thing where you're reading and then suddenly you're very conscious of the fact that you're reading words to the point where it becomes so distracting you can't pay attention to what you're reading anymore? bc it seems like tumblr has a lot of book enjoyers and getting distracted by my internal voice is one of the reasons why I don't read books
#it's like when someone makes you think about your tongue and suddenly you can't figure out how to rest it in your mouth#was reading dunmeshi manga the other night and I had to stop bc I was reading it too loud in my head#manga and comics usually aren't that bad like it took me hours for that to happen#but fiction books it happens constantly. if I'm lucky I might get 20 minutes in#this doesn't seem to happen when reading posts much tho#usually like 3-4 times a year
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fellas i think i'm winning college (wrote 900+ words of a 1359 word essay while eating lunch with like 4 different status effects in barely over an hour before class where it would be peer-assessed and the person who read it said it was very well written and Powerful)
#trousled dumb#get . on my level#by barely an hour before class i mean i STARTED typing an hour & a half before class. i finished with like 15 minutes left#then showed up 10 mins late anyway bc i had to print it out and the fucking printer didnt have PAPER#but still. i think if there were real life achievements i would have earned one for that#best believe i didn't proofread shit i just let the gods decide and i guess they took pity on me <3#tho that person definitely should have noticed i mixed up dumpsters and garbage trucks lmao#turns out the trick to dissolving any flaws in a horrifically rushed essay is to say shit like Home Is A Living Thing That Can And Will Die
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aaaaaaaaaaaa my legs are sooooo sore
#prince's talk tag#i did a lot of walking‚ standing‚ squatting‚ kneeling and posing at the con but bc im not used to doing that much my legs are killing me lol#im glad i took off yesterday and today to rest but oof im still drained#i did have a lot of fun tho#oh! i cant remember if i said this but i actually saw a coworker at the con. we're in different depts so i dont think she knows me well#but she had this cute ita bag where it was an art program and the 'canvas' is the window where you show off your pins#it was really cute and i was gonna stop her and ask where she got it but i chickened out last minute bc we dont talk at work#i dont really talk to a lot of people at work because im in the back and im not the type to initiate#but this coworker has interested me for a while now bc this isnt the first time ive seen her at this con#tho i didnt recognize the characters on her ita bag so we might have similar general interests but not specific ones#i told my friends about it and they were like 'you HAVE to ask her about the con when you go back to work'#and i am interested but i am still shy about it
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how do i stop feeling like i'm in trouble all the time fr. sitting here on my lunch break like everyone's gonna be soooo mad when u get back...from lunch...which you are allowed to have.....(?)
#social anxiety kicking my ass so bad every day#unless my supervisor actually says hello you are doing an amazing job today and i dont hate you im like omg she hates me bc i suck......#miscounted the kids yesterday and left one on the playground for like two minutes and im still traumatized#she wasnt alone or anything there was another class w teachers but 😬🔫#killing myself killing myself killing myself#i counted them five times today tho#and the playground was empty which made it easier but ugh#infinitely better than my last job and im actually good at this but i still feel like my supervisor doesn't like me#even tho i think she's just a bit awk and has anxiety also lol#she was reading a book abt coping with anxiety the other day lol#also my other coworker w the drama likes me but the drama is always threatening to happennagain bc she doesnt like our supervisor#anyway#my mentor just got here before lunch for her half day shift so i feel better but aaaaa#way less stressful than my last job tho and im grateful but very stressed lately#also the owner of the school was in the room im taking lunch for a while and im like omg she's gonna be annoyed that im here#she's gonna judge me for having a chocolate bar like a shitty spoiled young person or whatever and listening to music bc im rude#i need to calm down fr#she complained abt lazy inconsiderate young people at my job interview so now im paranoid abt every interaction w her lmao#bc i am a lazy oblivious young person and also i took a sick day my first week which is what she was complaining abt said young people doing#but i legitimately was throwing up i Had to call out#that's life in child care#but ughhhh#i was determined not to bc this is a job where they expect you to come in even if ur sick#but puking is my limit i genuinely couldn't do it#anyway.#normal adult experience#doctor who told my mom i was high functioning i want our money back
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i find it so funny that back in hs everyone always assumed i took honors spanish 4 and ap physics. they genuinely thought i was in the class and knew what they were talking abt and i. was never there. i never signed up for them. lol.
#loner.txt#jun ☕️#i stopped at esp3 bc hs made me HATE learning it#bc i was just learning everything to pass the exams#and that wasnt fair... i wanted to learn spanish bc i Wanted to#i still have a lot of knowledge but its buried and if i practice again i could speak it well#everyone i went to middle school with Knew i was super proficient in spanish#bc i loved the classes and held a 101% grade in the class. somehow. i dont remember how that even happened#physics tho. i wouldve done it bc it was the math based science course#but after chem in jr year. which i HATED. i removed science from my studies.#i remember my advisor was getting annoyed i quit spanish history and science by senior year#listen. i had the reqs to graduate completed. if i dont have to do it or need it. im not doing it.#tho in retrospec i Should have taken physics. between ap calc (physics in calc were insufferable)#and that. my current major..#thooooo then again. i was set on communication design at the time. i didnt know i was going to change over. literally last minute.#the more i think abt it. i was weird abt the classes i took in hs#i blatantly refused to take honors level courses#it was literally. either standard level or ap level. do or die.#why was i like that....#i esp ate my words in senior year bc of ap4. that was AWFUL.#yeah eng is my weakest subject! takes the hardest eng course you can in hs.#proceeds to die.
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apparently you can still play the big harp in remuria after the world quest.
#caluutalks#genshin impact#genshin#tagging genshin bc WHY NOT#anyways I discovered this on accident while clearing exploration lol. and I couldn't stop myself.#it's pretty easy to miss notes due to swimming mechanics. it's not /that/ annoying but it does require some level of aim i think.#plus I kept forgetting on which string was which note when I played smth that had a longer interval.#who knows? I might do smth with this as a funny haha project. probably not tho.#also TWITTER won't let me post the damn thing. it took like 10 minutes to load just to say nah we can't send that one ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#back on topic. yes I did play the fontaine leitmotif as a test. you know I would. I did attempt to play pluir sur la ville after though.#which ended up fine. ish. but it was fun regardless.#edit: THE TWEET IS FINALLY SENT. MY GOD.
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My mom just came in my room right after I got home to be like how did it go???? What happened???? When are you going back?? How do you feel??? Are you ok???? What are your hours???? What did they say??? And I know she means well but
#and she gets upset at me when i don't wanna talk#IM SORRY but I've been anxious about this for 3 days#the actual thing took an hour +#I had no idea what to expect going in#even tho my mom was convinced i had already gotten the job (i hadn't)#(i tried to tell her why i was unsure and she was like well im sure you got it!! but i didn't know and i HADNT YET)#YES ive been stressed about not having a job but now im stressed about HAVING a job!!!!#i want to forget it exists before i have to do things!!!!#its like she. doest understand how i cope with things#but ive explained it#and then she intrudes while im coping and gets upset at me getting upset#and talking about it while I'm trying to decompress makes me 50000x more anxious#and then she gets worried about how anxious i am#and then she thinks she needs to check on me more bc my anxiety is worse#but then i dont have a chance to decompress so the anxiety doesn't get better#and i tell her this and shes like i just wanna make sure you're ok#but shes making me less ok!!!!#just now when she came to talk about this she knocked. and actually kinda waited for an answer for once#and i didn't answer. bc i didn't wanna talk#so she COMES IN ANYWAY!!!!!!!#she knew i was in my room. she knew i wasn't sleeping bc i just got home. she just wanted to ask about it#while SHES ALSO WORKING!!!! AND DOESN'T HAVE THE TIME!!!!#idk if i didn't answer the knock on my door doesn't that suggest i dont want to talk???????#and she would say she wants to make sure im ok. which i can't argue with ig. but ive been in the house for 5 minutes#i didn't have time to kill myself. respectfully.#and ive TOLD HER i dont like to talk right after#my mental health is not at a point where i cant be trusted alone in a room for an hour and it NEVER has been#i KNOW shes my mom and she worries and she wants to take care of me i GET IT. but GODDDD!!!!!#anyway.#tw suicide mention
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none of this writing has charming soap opera drama appeal i feel like im reading bad wattpad fanfic turned novel drama instead.
#im sorry to be a hater but absolutely nothing has primed me to like remotely any of this. i feel bad not even trying to find some worth#but i cant 😭 i just cant. i do think mike is fun though. some meaning there.#but i've been stuck in silver and bronze land and the last most recent run i reread was w.aid#i mean. i did just read some of so.ule's run. it was alright but i had to read a very select portion so. didnt help to build up with me#sadly. wasnt bad tho. but im like mannnn... i miss the current character voice im used to so i feel so Huh when im reading rn#bc those two matts feel quite different than the ones i am particularly fond of. which is like yes natural character development#but it also just feels So different. this is my own problem though#i have a very particular mix of matt character voice in my brain. silver/ very early bronze + n.ocen.ti + w.aid. this is my matt soup#so im still like. dumb as it sounds Adjusting! also b.en.dis resides in there too but is harder to remember#bc the last time i touched it really was in my freshman year of college.#so it's been a minute and is not quite within that soup but it's an underlying flavor. same w/ ann. though underlying in a different way#bc even tho i read this year it isnt the most Thorough sticking and super distinct to his voice (i have a very broad meaning when i say tha#but it is definitely an informative flavor. but soapy antics and happy matt are highly definitive of my current view#so im like huh. im not quite into grittier writings of matt yet. aside from like. be.nd.is. but i still dont find it the same brand of grit#ok rethinking even though i say it's not in there it is it's very much one of those things you dont realize is like something carrying#a lot of the flavor within the soup but if you took it away it would be mega lacking. ok. there#done with my soup metaphor. anyways. point is Im Still Trying To See How This Matt Works In My Mind#not bc im resistant (to s.oul.e. im highly resistant to z.da.rsk.y) to him. but it's like. it's not quite the best to work with all these#other variations and informative to my viewings. i know i said i was done with soup metaphor but i lied. it's like they arent. terrible. bu#and dont necessarily ruin the soup (im gonna be real and say this only applies to s.oul.e. the other guy is ruining the soup). but dont fit#the flavor profile of it very well. like it kinda works. but it throws it off. just a bit. NOW IM DONE.#static.soundz
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my fire alarm ran out of battery and went off in the middle of the night, so im about to go to my post-op appointment with two hours of sleep and a migrane being like. yes i am so normal, tell me how normal i am, for the love of god
#my me hurts. emotionally but also so physically#i haven't had my antidepressants in a week !!! for the love of god feed me#i know the appointment is in four hours. but thats basically the same as four minutes i cant do anything#my antidepressants are also my anti-anxieties so im a little bit strained#and i just remembered they also help me sleep better. that explains some things#i honestly dont know if i ran out of them or lost them. so thats cool#and ive been taking them on and off for the past few weeks bc i dont have structure in my life until thursday#which is when im off med leave and i go back to sensory hell#i really need a new job methinks#anyway yeah my brain is trying to suffocate me i think#qnd all i can think about are the new anti trans laws being passed#bc im like. i hope i dont have to move to canada. i dont know shit about fuck over there#ive never even been#but hey worst case i can like. maybe crash on my friends couch#i have two (2) people who would prolly let me do that. one lives a bit farther out tho#anyway! i live in a blue state so im probably fine. but i can feel my heartbeat and hear birds. so you can imagine the stress im under#i got 2 hours of sleep and then 12 hours of sleep and then 2 hours of sleep in the last three days so im completely wrecked fucked rn#i did find an elk ribcage a couple days ago and i took a couple ribs so thats giving me chemicals in my brain rn#whoagh. my tummy rumbled. i forgot it can do that#my migrane from yesterday was bad enough to fuck up my tummy so it seems like its doing better#although i just remembered i had to do breathing exercises for it 20 min ago so i take that back actually#mmm i bet i can convince my wife to go to starbucks with me and buy an overpriced croissant..... mmmmmmmmm#i am going to surprise my wife in an hour by giving him so many kisses when he wakes up#he'll probably be concerned but i will be happie!! habby!!!! hooray!!!!!!!#yknow maybe i can go to sleep. i mean. if i can forget about what this post was originally about i can forget about whats making me anxious#ah fuck wait i remembered. damn#nah its ok ill forget it in a ittle bit#i hope the nurse looks at me and goes yep youre so normal and gives me a little kiss on the head. and a lollipop#i hope its the same nurse that gave me anesthesia she was very nice to me#milo.txt
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This settles it. I have to go to bed immediately after returning from terawih at the mosque
#i'm so fortunate to live a 3 minute walk from the mosque 🥺🥺🥺#so i plan on going to terawih everyday. excluding the times i'm on my period#that means i won't procrastinate praying isha and there'd be no reason for me to stay up after terawih#i literally slept through my alarm today and i went to bed at midnight 💀💀💀#getting up for suhoor took away 1:30h if sleep away tho#but 6:30 hours of sleep wouldnt have been so bad regardless?? i guess my sleep deficit of this week is wearing me down#but yeah anyways it's get home by around 5pm. pray dhuhr & asr. then i have about an hour until iftar#after iftar it's isha & terawih very soon#but hm yeah luckily this plan is only for today & tomorrow bc next week day light saving takes effect#so i can get up for suhoor at 5 instead of 4 like i had to today and i probably won't go to sleep after#well that also means isha & terawih will start at 9pm instead of 8 and it takes about 1:30h. meaning it's finished at about 10:30pm#so i really NEED to be consequent with my sleep time#i will have to be running at 6h of sleep constantly then i guess#well as long as i sleep in on week ends i should be fine i think#good thing is so far i haven't had to do anything lab/project related when i got home. so maybe it won't be too stressful#i think i should be fine when i bring a laptop/tablet with me and do any work that might come up while waiting for experiments#nesi rants
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#i had the worst fucking nightmare yesterday when i took a nap and i havent slept since 😣#it technically wasnt all bad but it was one of those lucid dream situations and ive been groggy ever since (but cant! fuckigng sleep!)#and then i was studying but i think im getting burnt out bc i cant fucking concentrate bc im so fucking stupid and i#keep getting practice questions wrong and my test is in TWO WEEKS and i know NOTHING even tho ive been studying for so long#i feel so hopeless like i genuinely think im gonna fail and that scares the shit out of me bc what the FUCK am i gonna do then#that shit would be so embarrassing like that will just confirm what i already know that im a dumbass piece of shit loser 😭#like i lowkey broke down a few hours ago bc i genuinely think im just plain fucking stupid! like Not Smart like fucking can barely read#like one question will take me like two minutes bc i have to read that shit two or three times to process whatever the fuck its saying#thats so fucking embarrassing i feel like a fucking failure lmao#and the thing is im trying my best im just dumb as a brick fr#like how tf u study over five hours a day and still on some 56% bullshit 😭#and everyone is saying im gonna pass bc i study so much but!! i get almost half the questions WRONG that is NOT a good sign#no but fr if i fail idk whats gonna happen i dont think i'll get kicked out but i know everyone's gonna be mad at me#and im gonna be in a dark place for a while and i'll have no one to blame but myself#just like the last time i failed at something#ignore me#i just needed to vent
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i need to sit in a silent dark room for approximately three hours doing nothing rn or i will never be normal again
#it's not even funny how much sitting in the dark would fix me rn. i can't finish this shift#list of things that have made me mad today. there r so many high schoolers in this stupid building why r u here. i dont hate them tho#theyre kids but theres so many go away. and their chaperones are all assholes. and ppl were in my way so much#and they were so loud this lady had to ask everyone to take a seat for like twenty minutes straight and it was just loud in the booth#bc we kept the lil windows open to keep an eye on the event#and ill admit a lot of this went away bc i was hangry and i managed to get some lunch but im so so so so so so so#like. overstimulated rn. i need to lay down.#everything is just so loud. and so next to me. and so obnoxious. and everything is in my way. and im sorry i love people i love#seeing people go about their day and do their silly little tasks but i am just soooooo brrrgrhgreghge rn.#abby talks#oh i was also briefly upset bc when i opened bereal (it's my new tiktok in that it damages my brain i think and i need to get rid of it)#she was there and even tho he wasnt i think she had a hickey which was a silly observation#but i took it extra hard bc im all emotional and in a goofy mood rn!#'i took it extra hard' lol#girl. come on.#my feelings were hurt by this potential maybe that i couldn't even tell#but it's literally fine. like who cares. i mean i do of course a little bit but the spirit of who cares. theyre silly and they suck so bad#cringefail couple. i support them under that lens#that framework etc
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