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#there was a period of time where a lot of people here hated it
sjywrites · 23 hours
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Hii can I request Sophia x reader academic rivals? 🥺 u can do whatever u want w the plot pretty much please and thank u so much <3 :)
༊*·˚ ACADEMIC RIVALS LOVERS?
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𝓢ophia 𝓛aforteza x 𝓖n!reader. (no pronouns used). 𝓖enre. fluff, angst if you squint 𝓢ypnosis. our two favourite academic rivals have a lil fight, but the situation turns bad, and people realize their feelings. 𝓦𝓒 . 824 𝓒𝓦 . mentions of being hospitalised (sophia), a little angsty!
𝓝ote! this is a little messy since I wrote it during one of my breaks, but please lmk if you want like a part two cuz I really liked this plot!
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This is purely fiction and is not meant to interpret how the idols act in real life!
,, not proofread + english is not my first language ! ೃ⁀➷
At this point it didn’t even matter if you were better than everyone, you just had to be better than her. It started off very simple, both of you wanted to be better than everyone, academically that is. Eagerly waiting to get tests back and see who got a higher score, a smug grin on one's face when they got a better result than the other. No harm in that right? Wrong, that’s what started all of this.
Sophia walked towards me with her head held high, her uniform as neat as ever and her hair styled in a way making her look almost angelic. Wait, what? “What were your results?” She said, slamming her paper on top of my desk, I shook out of my daydreaming to answer her. “96.” I said while looking down in my maths book, trying to solve an equation but still focusing on what she would respond. She looks away and a teasing smirk spreads on her lips, and moves the finger that covered her results, 97. “Guess I’m just better than you huh?” She said proudly, staring down at me “Just because you got one point more than me doesn’t mean you’re better than me.” I said, pouting a little at her accusation.
Lately I’ve been feeling kind of… weird? Even if Sophia gets a higher score than me, I can’t find it in me to give a fuck. “Well, you’ve been slacking off a lot lately, I’ve gotten higher scores than you on the last four tests. So, I think that makes it obvious who's smarter!” Sophia states like it was the most obvious answer to what I said. Staring at her for a moment, I reply. “I've been busy okay, not everyone has that much free time to spend on studying, and you're talented in general, no wonder you get high scores” She looks shocked at my statement, then she smirks a little, “Did you just admit that I'm smart?” She looked proud in some way or another, “Not what I meant Sophia, but whatever floats your boat.” I grab my things from the desk and walk outside the classroom to my locker, a little frustrated at the whole situation. I did miss her response,
“I study that much so you won't think I'm stupid.”
A week goes by, no Sophia in sight. She missed two assignments, she's usually here every day. Even if she's sick, which I don't get why she does, but still. Did something happen to her? Was it something I did?
“You've been zoning out for the past like, three periods, what is going on with you today?” Lara, my best friend asks. “Do you know where Sophia is?” I ask, not really thinking before I ask. “Why do you want to know, don't you guys like, hate each other?” She looks at me with a very questionable look, suspecting something I cannot grasp, “Yes? No? I don't know Lara, but do you know where she is?” I say, a little confused and concerned. She looks at me with sad eyes before replying, “Y/N, Sophia got really sick out of nowhere, I heard she's at the hospital.” My eyes blew wide at the shocking news, why didn't she tell me? No, why would she do that? We're not even friends.
Am I really doing this? I think to myself as I open the hospital doors and stumble up to the kind-looking man in the lobby. I strike up a casual conversation with him as he guides me to a room, I thank him quickly before he scurries away.
There in the little window on the door I see her, Sophia's sitting down on the bed. Her hair is a mess and her clothes look ridiculous, it looks like she hasn't slept for a few days too. I gently open the door and her gaze falls upon me, it's easier to see her face now. She looks tired, really tired. “Hey…” I say, she looks away from me and cuddles up in her sitting position. “What are you doing here?” she tries to sound annoyed, but it just comes out in a tired huff. “I heard what happened, I… was worried about you. I brought some notes from the classes you missed.” She looks shocked at my confession, she relaxes her posture and her gaze becomes soft. “Thank you… I really appreciate it.” She smiles a little as she grabs the papers I handed her, our hands touching softly.
I look at her, really look at her. For the first time actually having time to admire how pretty she looks, how perfect her flaws are. “I just came to give you that… so if you don't need anything else, I'll go.” I turn around to walk away, grabbing the door knob and turning it around, “Wait! Will you… please stay with me a little longer, I need it.
I need you.”
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this is so messy I'm sorrrrryyyy!! I wanted to post something today at least :((
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lesbiantrish · 3 months
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why do hot people like harry potter
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lonelyvomit · 2 years
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#hi im having a bad night and everyone is allowed to ignore this i literally just need to rant#.........................................................................#................................................................................................#.............................................................................................................#.........................................................................................#........................................................................................................#..........................................................................................#it's just not fucking getting better is it#I've been fucked in the head for 3 weeks cus I cant stop thinking about how 4 years ago this time I was at the psych ward#and honestly? I lowkey wish I was again. it was the most stress free period I remember ever having in my life.#and I'm getting more tired and it's causing a lot more bad days and days I'm too tired to talk to people properly#and of course. that has the same consequences it always does. I'm not fucking surprised.#but it's spiraling me right back into feeling like the worst friend in the world which in turn makes me convinced no one actually likes me#that everyone is secretly just fucking annoyed with me but no one is saying it out loud cause everyone else is pretending to like me too#and the worst thing is I'm supposed to go meet a bunch of people in Helsinki in 10 days but I feel like no one really cares if I go or not#probably even prefer if I didn't uknow I'm not really part of that group the same way the others are#I'm fucking terrified of sticking my nose where I'm not wanted.#and obvs if I was a normal fucking person I'd just talk to people and make sure we're still good and no one hates me#but I'm ill and exhausted which has my social battery in the fucking negatives and I just cant do Conversations rn#which. is the exact fucking problem. literally here I go again. this is why people hate me. this is why they leave.#and I cant fucking blame them. if being friends with me is like talking to a brick wall half of the time#why would anybody bother? I cant expect them to. I don't expect them to.#the question is do I wait til everybody drops me or do I make it easy for everyone and just go away myself.#..#anyway. like said my social battery is in the negatives anyway & I just wanted to scream.#no need to react to this in any way. not like I'll have the energy to answer 🙃#im gonna go watch stupid lets play videos and try not to cough my lungs out#cheers.
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ive said this before but so much of what Retvrn Freaks glorify in early modern european art are just components inherent to the mediums being used at the time as opposed to like. an example of heightened skill that has been supposedly Lost in these degenerate times.... oil paint just looks like that. its very tonal and rich and even an artist with mediocre rendering skills will have their rendering skills improved by painting in oil. old oil paintings took years to complete not because the artists doing them were very skilled but because oil takes months to dry and they built up subtle washes over dried paint. tracing was also commonly utilized during that time period, and artists also often had small armies of apprentices who would do the hard work for them with no credit. these huge highly tonal oil paintings become significantly less impressive when you actually learn about their context.
#this isnt to like. diss or hate on oil painters or even all art made in europe during that time period#there are lots of great artists from that time period#but i also dont think that sort of art is more valuable than any other artistic movement#and i think posing these two very culturally european mediums as like the Pinnacle of art is stupid#another issue which isnt really to do with what im talking about here is like cultural ideals surrounding art...#if youre educated in a western tradition youre sort of encouraged to idolize realism and its associated artistic skills#eg: (anatomical accuracy - rendering skills - perspective)#and then favor mediums which lend better to those ideals. and then when you look at art from other cultural traditions#where the focus may have been on something different like color or symbol or narrative over realism you sort of see them as “lesser”#or theres the assumption that the artists who made those pieces were worse at art or unable to make highly realistic pieces#which is of course nonsense and also often racist (eg. colonizers in west africa assuming there must have been a greek colony#there because they found realistic statues and couldnt understand how people who currently made more stylized art could have made them)#but you even see this in popular assumption about european art pre-enlightenment too#like all those memes making fun of medieval manuscript faces. they drew like that because the narrative was more important than the realism#because the artists drawing them were basically illustrating bible stories#medium at hand also has a big hand to play here. art made for woodcut is gonna look different to art made for fabric#and oil paints arent uniquely european but they arent as widespread as clay or textile
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lady-raziel · 5 months
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idk man i know times are hard but i can't help but feel that watcher putting all their eggs in the basket that is their own streaming service is a bad call. like sure i totally get wanting a platform where you have full control both creatively and financially but i feel they might be misjudging how much loyalty non-hardcore fans might have for what they're creating. in every internet fandom there's a subsection of people willing to pay with actual money to support the creators they enjoy, and that's what services like patreon are for. but to expect that casual viewers will sign up and pay a monthly fee to get access to just watcher content when a large portion of them were likely just watching the content because it was free and accessible on youtube assumes that someone who isn't a diehard fan won't just go "oh well" and find something else on youtube that IS still free? that seems like a miscalculation to me. the massive fanbases online content creators have may literally be only possible because the content is available to anyone-- it seems foolish to assume that every single one of those fans is going to stick around once you try to upsell them.
i hope this new venture goes well for the watcher crew. I really do. but i also know that a lot of brands and startups that bank on the loyalty they earned when their product was free or low cost and expect that to sustain them while they try to do something that historically has not gone well for the vast majority of businesses. at best, they'll have halved their fanbase by alienating those who can't or don't want to pay and made it much more difficult for remaining fans to create fandom products like memes or gifs that promote their shows on social media. at worst, they'll discover in the near future the independent streaming service model is unsustainable with only the fans they have left and by that point they'll have already deleted themselves from youtube and made it impossible to come back to the level of success they had before. any attempt to return to youtube will be an admission of a critical miscalculation and i doubt many remaining fans will tolerate the back and forth. they'll have crippled their credibility, relevancy, and fanbase loyalty over a very short period of time-- and i don't know if it would even be possible to come back and still be beloved after all that.
worst of all-- if the watcher streaming service crashes and burns after they've already removed all their content from youtube, all the watcher shows are essentially going to become lost media, only accessible via reuploaders willing to risk a copy strike or if you know someone who has a copy downloaded. given how genuinely good the watcher content is in the sea of lackluster youtube mush, that really seems like a damn shame.
i hope the watcher team sees how everyone is responding and decides to course correct before it's too late and get away with only the hit to their reputation that they've already taken by announcing this, instead of pushing forward on a path that might lose them everything instead. nothing i've said here is with any hate intended toward anyone involved or those who are excited about the new service, but this just seems like a really ill-advised decision to me.
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harmoonix · 21 days
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🧡 Fever Dream 🧡
🌊 PART II 🌊
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🌊¨*•.¸¸🌊*・゚🌊¨*•.¸¸🌊*・゚🌊¨*•.¸¸🌊*・゚🌊¨*•.¸¸🌊*
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Let's celebrate, calling all beautiful creatures
Come spread your wings, dance, and sing songs about
freedom
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🧡 It is known that people with Leo Placements or stellium have beautiful/healthy skin, no matter the skin color, all of them look beautiful
🧡 Scorpio Placements at women may play a big role with their menstrual cycle, healing period, and even surgerys
🧡 Uranus in the 6th, 8th, and 12th houses gives more spiritual growth and intense transformations in the natives life
🧡 Uranus in the first houses (from 1st to the 5th) here Uranus can be the most creative, open to new ideas, taking risks and can create an independent native
🧡 Neptune - Uranus aspects make the native to be in touch with the universe, more spiritual, more awake, higher potential
🧡 Venus conjuct/sextile/trine Neptune makes the native more compassionate, offering a good lasting bound with their partners
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🧡 Neptune in the 1st house natives is probably one of the most empathic places to have Neptune in, giving a sensible nature to the native
🧡 Neptune in Aries Degrees 1° 13° 25°" have doubts when believing in themselves because soemtimes Neptune can create illusions about how you're not good enough
🧡 Pisces Moon/12th moon is another of those empathic placements, they can create tied relations with the other people in their lives and often can become needy
🧡 Sun or Moon at 29° is very powerful. Both of these planets indicate that the soul is very old and possibly living its last reincarnation
🧡 Saturn in the 6th/12th is in a place where Saturn needs rest to heal, can get overwhelming fast, stress does no good
🧡 Mercury in the 1st house is beautiful! Vital placement. You can easily adapt to every situation, giving you the aura of a chameleon
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🧡 Sun at 10° 22° can make your personality seem more wise behind your years, mature, career focused, talking about work 24/7
🧡 Mercury or Venus in the 3rd house creates a sense of happiness in the natives life, can be their friends, their siblings, or simply their hobbies
🧡 Leo Venus/Leo in the 7H/Leo Moon, somehow you want your spouse to put you as a priority in their lives because relationships - focus can matter so much for you
🧡 Virgo Venus or Moon gives a lot of credit to their love for nature, may love gardering, forest walks, going out in nature
🧡 Saturn or Sun in the 7th house natives, make sure to always set standards for your love life because nowadays, hookup culture is so normalized that it may ruin your views for a potential relationship
🧡 If you have a mercury in the 7H, you probably appreciate honesty in your relationships, hates to be lied by their partners so they rather accept the hard truth
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🧡 If you have Pluto in the 7H, you can be manipulated by others.And you may have a hard time understanding what it means to be loved properly and in a healthy way
🧡 Venus in Aquarius or Sagittarius can value freedom in their relationships. They would rather have a very open-minded spouse who can give them the necessary freedom that they need in their lives. Don't chain them up
🧡 Venus in water signs may not crave sex as much as feelings and love. For the water element, the feelings are very important . They may seek more comfort than pleasure, and this probably fits more for Cancer Venus
🧡 Venus in aquarius or venus in the eleventh house can also indicate that maybe there's a chance for you to have online relationships
🧡 Sun at 2° 14° 26° degrees gives earthy beauty features to the native, can be the eyes, the eyebrows, the lips, etc
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One for the jungle família
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🧡 Mercury in sagittarius or gemini, or pisces, may have a desire to learn other languages. Other traditions are other cultures different from theirs
🧡 7th house ruler in the 9th house may crave to explore the world together with their partners. Traveling together *vice versa*
🧡 If you have your Venus in an Earth sign, that's probably the biggest indicator that you really need a stable partner in your life.Someone who can stay for long and someone who can support you in every situation
🧡 You know these people that search for traditional family and traditional relationships and traditional whatever..they probably have Venus in the 4th house or venus in capricorn or a good aspected 4th house in their chart
🧡 Lilith in the 4th/10th or in Capricorn/Cancer can give strict parents, sometimes controlling parents as well
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🧡 Lilith square/opposition/conjunct Mars or Venus may indicate getting sexualized, liked only for their bodies and not who they truly are
🧡 Uranus in the 7th house can sometimes indicate a native who dated multiple people in the past or had more relationships
🧡 If you have a fire moon but your chart is full of water placements, the moon may not act as impulsive and rather more emphatic (Fire Moons are known to be impulsive natives)
🧡 Having Neptune in the 9th house is one of the most beautiful placements if you wanna be more connected with the universe
🧡 Jupiter - Ascendant aspects natives are usually lucky even in situations they don't realize, the aspects can bring material suceess
🧡 Jupiter in Cancer they have a big, empathetic heart and a desire to make others feel cared for. They love to share their love
🧡 Jupiter in Taurus brings a stable, secure energy to your life and relationships. It encourages patience, diligence, and hard work, which leads to financial success
🧡 Moon in the 9th house/Moon at 9° 21° degrees. These natives are mostly travel addicts and get emotional satisfaction by exploring new cultures and traditions and broadening their horizons.
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🧡 Attracting Happiness - Aspects in the chart (list)
Jupiter - Moon aspects
Jupiter - Venus aspects
Jupiter in the 1h/4h/5h/7h/12h
Sun - Ascendant aspects
Mercury - Venus aspects
🧡 Leo Moon/Rising loveeeee to recieve compliments from others, a thing about Leo placements is that they wanna feel loved and appreciated, is kinda a like love language to them
🧡Having Saturn at 29 degrees can represent that this life can be your ultimate lesson, is a draining energy but its also an ending energy, lots of hugs to you
🧡Capricorn Sun/Moon/Rising, with any of these placements in your chart, you’ll notice the energy of Capricorn come up quite prominently for you in many aspects of life, being more inntrovert, dark, mysterious, loyal, saturn´s lover
🧡Mars - Pluto aspects may show signs of anger - issues, high intensity in the natives life, (If you have them in the same house...hold on dear life)
🧡Mars in the 1st/6th/10th/12th house, the native had to learn to be independent from a young age, they had to grow and mature leading to emotional pain
🧡Uranus in the 1st house is totally a break - free placement, self - improving, rebellious nature and wants to do the things their own way
🧡Sun aspecting Pluto natives have an inner pwerful world. They do not let everyone around them, meaning they have their own social circle and wanna be more hidden because nobody knows that much about them. Keeping everything private
🧡Lilith in the 6h/12h might create a hate - love relationship with other people, sometimes you hate them, sometimes you like/love them. Can also have lots of enemies or bad people around
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𝐂𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞𝐬
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🌊¨*•.¸¸🌊*・゚🌊¨*•.¸¸🌊*・゚🌊¨*•.¸¸🌊*・゚🌊¨*•.¸¸🌊*
I hope you all have an awesome Friday and weekend. Here is a new post! Enjoy 💙 harmoonix 💙💙💙
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hansoeii · 4 months
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Hello! Hope you're having a great day/night! I absolutely adore your art, you are one of my favourite artists. I love the way you shade and do backrounds. Also everytime I get into a new show I immediately see your art for it??
I was wondering if you had any advice on drawing more realistically (backrounds, anatomy etc) but still keeping a style?
Hey hey!
Thank you so much!
I have a pretty good understanding of facial structures, because before I got into drawing more semi-realisticly, I heavily focused on realistic portraits. Here are some example, these are from around 2019!
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(yes, I was really into danmei and kpop back then, haha)
I just always loved drawing/painting faces and it was all I did. But at some point I realized that I wanted to do more than that because just portraits felt super restricting. So it took me around 2-3 years to somewhat find my style. Thought it would be fun to show a little timeline! Advice will follow afterwards :)
2020
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I began working on my OCs in 2020 and since I didn't have an exact reference to work off of, I struggled a lot. My art from this year is super wonky.
2021
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Still wonky, but the Lokius obsession was the jumpstart into finding my style! My work from this year is all over the place haha, I was experimenting a lot.
2022
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This first ofmd piece is pretty much the first drawing where you can see where my style is gonna go, which I think is pretty cool! This is the year I made the biggest progress cos I was drawing SO much. These two pieces are only six months apart. The one on the right was the first time I gave drawing a background a proper go, too! It was a good year.
2023
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And this is where I am now! I'm still constantly learning and improving, but I'd say I have a style you can recognize now!
Now here comes some actual advice, haha:
What I highly recommend you to do is to study your favorite artists as much as you can! I have like 5 A4 sketchbooks all from 2020 that I filled with sooooo many studies, where basically all I did was look at artists I like and copy how they draw stuff, to try and figure out how to stylize certain things. Some of my favorite artists are Ami Thompson, Velinxi and TB Choi. But I also liked to just scroll through pinterest and study all the art I came across that I liked! For example, if I saw a really great drawing of a pair of pants I would copy it many times in my sketchbook and try to learn how they stylized the folds. Doing this for a prolongued period of time will naturally improve your own work! It'll be difficult at first, but you gotta push through, it's gonna be worth it!
I also highly recommend studying unique faces to try and avoid the same-face syndrome. Find some cool looking people and try to draw them as simple as you can! Maybe even draw a little timeline where you first draw them as cartoon-y as you can, and keep going until you end up with a more detailed, realistic drawing. Maybe in the middle of it you find a step that feels the most fun to you, so you can try to build on that! It's a great way to figure out what kind of style might be the best for you.
Here are some cool faces I found on pinterest!
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I have a pinterest board with many more!
One REALLY important part of learning how to draw all kinds of things is to understand forms and shapes and how to manipulate them. I have so many pages in my sketchbook filled with just shapes that I drew from all kinds of angles without any references.
This is a great video on it:
6 Ways to Draw Anything by Proko
Learning how to do this is so crucial! Young artists often think they first have to learn all kinds of detailed anatomy before doing anything else, but all that's gonna do is make you tired and hate drawing. Shapes are where it's at! Once you understand how shapes work and which ones to use for certain parts of bodies or objects, drawing is gonna get so much easier! Once you understand them, you can get into details such as muscles and bones!
And honestly the most important point is to just absolutely love what you're doing! I wouldn't be doing this if it wasn't for the fact that I get extreme hyperfixations on certain media that turn me into some kind of beast where I can suddenly draw 10 detailed illustrations a week, haha. Just be passionate about what you do, find something you REALLY love and go crazy!
I really hope this was somewhat helpful! My inbox is always open if there's any more questions :)
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cepheustarot · 7 months
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What will the meeting with your future spouse be like?
Attention! This reading is for entertainment purposes only. This tarot reading does not give a 100% guarantee that all the described situations will occur or being ultimate truth. You build your own life and destiny and only you know yourself best.
Paid readings
Pick a pile. Choose one or more pictures. Trust your intuition.
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Pile 1: Most likely you will get to know each other through your mutual acquaintances, perhaps you will be in the same company of people. There is also a chance that you will meet in a place where there will be a lot of people, for example in a club or at some major event. You will immediately find a common language, you will have close communication, you will show interest in each other, and a strong passion can also arise between you. You can actively talk about something, you will always have topics to talk about, you can also say that you will quickly open up to each other. There will be a feeling between you that you have known each other for a long time and are soulmates. In general, this meeting will be a turning point, a key event in your life, you can say this moment will divide your life into before and after.
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Pile 2: Here you can meet your future spouse at work, study or in a place related to finances or where legal issues are being resolved. In general, I see here you can be competitors, compete with each other in some kind of business, maybe you compete in business, in school, or participate together in some kind of competition. I can clearly see the spirit of rivalry between you, but without hating each other, you rather treat each other with respect, since you consider the two of you worthy opponents, masters of your craft. You evaluate your opponent's abilities objectively and unbiasedly. You are both confident, self-motivated individuals who always follow what they want, but you also know how not only to win, but also to admit defeat, learn from your mistakes and gain experience.
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Pile 3: Here you will get to know your future spouse through dating apps like tinder, you can also often go on dates and meet your future spouse on one of them. I can say that this person is also in search of his love, so you will immediately have a romantic aura, a predisposition to each other. This person may also appear during a difficult period of your life, when you have already lost faith that you can find someone adequate, caring, loving, you may feel sadness at such moments. And they will be able to restore your faith in love as they will treat you with care, with sincere interest, will give you a lot of attention and spend a lot of time with you, they will be very gentle towards you and will take care of you as if you are the most precious and valuable thing they have there is.
Thank you for reading! I will be glad of any feedback 🖤
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ellecdc · 7 months
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We need dating remus lupin general headcanons with YOUR wonderful writing. Please. 🫶🏻
I don't know if this is my best work - but hopefully this is what you were looking for. Thanks for being here with me &lt;3
Dating Remus Lupin Headcanons
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This man was completely oblivious to the draw he had on other people – including you. His quiet, sarcastic, mischievous but kind persona meant he had a lot of admirers that he never did anything about 
I fully believe Remus Lupin was the biggest flirt without necessarily realizing it (or if he did realize it, it wasn’t a conscious action - he really didn’t mean to be flirty, he just was)
Also don’t believe he knew how fuckin’ hot he was: denim jackets, oversized cardigans and knitted jumpers, converse, beanies - like he always looked so comfortable and casual but so put together despite of it?
Stealing his clothes is actually a dream of mine – his denim jacket with patches sewed on and a hole or two????? Need it
Curling up in one of his sweaters and warm socks by the fire? Fuckin’ hell 
His friends knew better than to ever try to (outwardly) set him up with anyone since he was so damn stubborn, so they would just happen to be in the library at the same time as you [the person they’d seen him bantering with in class time and time again] and also just happen to say hey and decide to catch up with you and then also just happen to sit at your table since they were already standing here talking to you anyway.
Forced library dates that neither of you really realized were dates, courtesy of his friends 
Remus caught on after a little while what his friends were trying to do, but didn’t mention anything in case you hadn’t realized yourself; he wouldn’t want to embarrass you
And welcome to the one thing we all sort of hate about Remus Lupin: he of course believed nothing would/could/should ever come about between the two of you
I believe him to be somewhat flighty – the second he realizes he’s falling for you, or, God forbid, realizes you’re falling for him – he hightails it 
Not for long though, I really don’t see James Potter letting him get away with that (Remus is stubborn so he gets ‘his way’ for at least a little before James forces the two of your out of your mutual misery)
I think you guys would grow closer and closer without ever actually saying anything about it:
Sitting beside each other would turn into leaning against one another
Leaning against one another would become the odd cuddle session 
Walking together to class would turn into a gentle hand on the small of your back guiding you through the castle (but also to keep you close) [this is that mentioned unknowingly flirty side] 
Hand on the small of your back would turn into his arm around your shoulder or your hand in his 
And he would prefer it this way, afraid that saying anything would make it too real (flighty), or, that you would deny having feelings for him and that would hurt in an entirely different way
You tried to be okay with it – to pretend that you were satisfied with whatever Remus was willing to give you because, come on, he was one of the most popular boys in school, he was the most well-liked Marauder, he was super smart and a powerful wizard, and he was so sweet to you.
But after a while, you couldn’t deny how much this unspoken space between you was weighing on you – particularly the somewhat routine periods where he’d completely shut you out
Was it you? Had you done something? 
Was he seeing someone else?
Were you just imaging this whole ‘thing’ between you?
He’d get increasingly agitated – almost like he simultaneously wanted you closer to him and further away from him; you’d never know how to help him in these moments
He’d speak more sharply to you, spoke less in general, and downplayed your friendship/relationship when other people would comment on it 
“We’re not even that close, we just study together sometimes” you head him say to Marlene McKinnon
“It’s not like that” he told Benjy Fenwick when he asked if you two were dating 
“She’s just a friend.” He’d said to Sirius, and that one hurt because why would he lie to his best friend? And what about you made it so difficult to see you as more than a friend?
Maybe you really had completely imagined the whole thing in your mind? Maybe he really didn’t care for you at all.
You began to pull away – less study dates, more excuses as to why you couldn’t meet up after class, sitting with Lily or Mary at quidditch games instead, staying at Hogwarts on Hogsmeade weekends – anything to avoid having to face the friend that you quickly realized you were halfway in love with who never even gave you a second thought
He did give you a second thought, though – in fact, he gave you a first thought as well as a third, fourth, fifth and sixth
“Do you think I did something to offend Y/N?” He asked James and Sirius one day – the two exchanged a knowing look 
“Why do you ask?” James asked with a smirk
“I think she might be avoiding me.”
“Does that bother you, Moons?”
Remus scoffed “of course it bothers me”
“I thought she was just a friend?” Sirius taunted
“Sod off...”
Remus couldn’t ignore it anymore – you weren’t just a friend. Never could be in his mind, he doubts. He would be your friend for the rest of your life if that’s all you ever wanted from him – but he’d probably always hold a candle for you; that’s why this divot you seemed to be carving between you two hurt like hell
He decides to do something very un-Remus like and face this head on (thoughts and prayers)
“Hey Y/N” he said gently as he approached your table in the library 
You seemed surprised at seeing him and started packing your things up
“Oh, hi Remus...” and the lack of your usual ‘hey Rem’ furthered his suspicions. “I was just finishing up, actually.”
“Have I done something to upset you?” He blurted suddenly. His assertiveness threw you off kilter – was he...talking? About feelings? You paused in your haste to pack your things
“No?” you said in the form of a question – you knew he picked up on it when the space between his eyebrows dwindled 
“Are you sure? I just feel like you’ve been avoiding me lately.”
You were starting to get frustrated. “What do you want, Remus?” You asked sharply. He winced.
“I just miss you, is all.” He admitted quietly as he played with a fray on his sweater between his tantalizingly long fingers.
“What exactly about me do you miss, Remus? You have plenty of friends; I hardly see how Sirius, James or Peter can’t fill the same role.”
He guffaws – actually guffawed! The bastard. “What are you on about?”
“What are you on about, Lupin? I’m tired; I’m tired of being called a friend while you keep me closer. I’m tired of feeling like I’m being played by arguably the most important person in my life. I’m fucking exhausted – so tell me exactly what you’re ‘on about’ Remus, and make it count because I’m done.”
“No! No, not done; don’t be done.”
“What do you want, Remus.” You whispered dismally. 
“You.” He whispered back
“Don’t fuck with me, Lupin.”
He couldn’t help but chuckle at you a little bit. “I’m not. I’m not, I swear it – I’m sorry if you’ve felt played by me. I’m sorry if I’ve made you feel anything but loved because... because I do – I love you.”
“Love me?”
“Love you. So much.” He professed as he dared to step closer to you. When you didn’t seem entirely averse to his proximity, he moved to close the gap – enveloping you in a long-needed hug. “I’m sorry.” He apologized again.
“You should be” you murmured petulantly from his chest.
He chuckled and pressed his lips to the top of your head “let me make it up to you?”
And he did – you spent that evening on the astronomy tower, enjoying the view of the stars as they melted into the forbidden forest along the horizon and the rest of the Hogwarts grounds – and he told you his secret, that he was a werewolf
You were the first person he willingly told – James, Sirius, and Peter just figured it out on their own and there was no hiding from them
You were the first person he chose to let in – so uncharacteristic of the lycanthrope, but that just went to show how serious he was about making it up to you and garnering your trust
This changed everything 
There was no more pushing you away near full moons, in fact – he got nearly downright territorial 
No one else was allowed to sit beside you – that was Remus’ spot
He was irritable and snappy with everyone, but instinctively melted at the sight of you
“I can’t believe we survived Moony all these years without Y/N – she’s like a sedative” Peter muttered as he picked up the cards Remus had thrown at him in a fit during their game of exploding snap. There was no sign of that Moony now – smiling down at you as you sat curled up in his lap like he had nowhere else he’d rather be
I believe Remus was the king of trinkets �� his dorm was littered with little bits and bobs he found that he thought were cool/interesting
He started gifting you little things once you began dating 
An enamel pin that made him think of you 
A small pewter wolf 
A cool rock that he thought looked like the colour of your eyes (you didn’t see it, but who were you to argue?) 
Little themed snow globes
Flowers he found on his walks 
Pretty beads/crystals 
Tealight candle holders 
The ribbon from a box of chocolates he got from his mum that he thought you would like
Acts. Of. Service. This man didn’t come from money, the way he saw his dad spoiling his mum was through his actions – so this caring attitude came super naturally to him 
Fixing up your tea/coffee the way you like before you’ve even thought about it 
Carrying your bags/books for you 
“Your shoe’s untied, dovey. Give ‘er here.” He said as he patted his thigh for you to place your foot so he could tie it for you
If you got sick/under the weather, he’d totally do your homework for you (his friends have done the same for him due to the moons – pay it forward)
I think he’d be so soft and needy after a moon – just melt into whatever love and care you’re willing to show him; give you complete control and take care of him.
It may have been super hard to get Remus to give love a chance – but once you got it, you were stuck with him because he was not going anywhere 
Loyal to a fault 
He’s so afraid of losing good things that he’s willing (and desperate) to do anything and everything he can to keep it [i.e., you]
Thankfully, you make it very easy to do <3 
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kkoffin · 2 months
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I’m never getting over how you say “a woman is an adult human female” (or they ask you to define female) and they say “WOW SO A WOMAN IS NOTHING MORE THAN A WOMB TO YOU”
Did you miss the “human” part? Yes, female, as a term, means the sex in any species which has a large, immovable gamete. Do i think my dog is the same thing as a woman because they have the same sex? They’re both female? No. Because of the “human” part.
Both men and women are human people. the difference, the reason for this split in category, is sex. Yes, the difference between a man and a woman is reproductive organs. Not their feelings, or attachment to being feminine, or whether or not they’ve got a dress on. The reason for this particular categorical split is which reproductive organs they’ve got.
Now what would happen if we in this hypothetical, instead of splitting by sex, we split by hair colour. Now we’ve got brown hair people and black hair pe- WOAH ARE WE DEFINING THEM BY THE COLOUR OF THEIR HAIR!? THATS BIOESSENTIALISM (apparently. no it’s not, that’s not what the word means, but that’s a topic for another day.) no. we just divided them by hair colour, and now we are labelling the categories that arise. they are still humans. “adult human brunette” if you will.
The “human” part includes life, or anything typical to being human. Thoughts, feelings, interests, self expression, relationships, literally just about everything to… being a person. And here’s the fun part! That can be different for every single woman! A woman can be any human, and do anything! Only other necessary parts are being female and being adult. The “female” part will mean you are a victim of misogyny and patriarchy, and you’ll likely be raised a little differently. Radfems want women to be free from misogyny and patriarchy, so we band together, against the oppressor, men, to make change.
Being female affects women in a very impactful way. Yes, the reproductive organs. Through periods, and pregnancy, hormones and simply having a vagina. Men like having access to a vagina, and they, for a lot of history, have been provided social advantages, though having more muscle mass, not getting pregnant, not having periods. They’ve long considered women, and their vaginas, to be their property. Women, again, because of men’s social advantages, were barred from much of society. Voting, dominion, rights, ability to be employed and have financial freedom. Men like having access to a vagina so much that women were sold to a husband, and had no freedom in the matter at all.
Today, women have been given many rights, but men still really like having access to a vagina, so they rape and sexually assault women (also misogyny is still deep in our society; in our media, our subconscious, etc). This is a Bad Thing, so women want to be free from it. Thus, we want spaces where we are vulnerable to be just for women. Not men that are feminine, or men that feel they are women, but women as in the sex-based group that’s been the victim to fgm and pregnancy and majority of rape, sex trafficking, sexual assault and harassment, etc this whole time.
Now! I can hear you! “but men get raped too!” You are so right! They are also 99% of offenders of rape. So sorry, but yes, the feminists, the women protecting women, striving for women’s liberation from patriarchy, still don’t want men in these spaces. Also being raped doesn’t make them a woman. Nothing makes a man a woman. (and before you bring up intersex people, I want you to know A) all intersex people are either male or female, a developmental disorder doesn’t take that anyway; B) every intersex person I’ve ever met fucking hates being used as an example to imply there are some people that are “less woman” or “less man”. )
Women were never and have never been oppressed because of their feelings or because they wear a dress - wearing the dress was a part of the oppression in fact. Women have always been in their disadvantaged group because of our sex. Because men like having access to a vagina, and we’ve been deemed weaker and inferior by men because of our organs.
There’s a reason why many women are offended if you call them “females” alone (see: alpha male podcasts) - it’s because it’s missing the “human” part, and it can feel degrading. It does include animals. “Female” either includes all females of all species and forms of life, or it’s an adjective. Woman are adult human females. Human.
@smokeweedeattherich
Anyways yeah, it’s rly not the terf-destroyed slay moment you think it is; it’s just you being kinda illiterate.
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devine-fem · 3 months
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I know a lot of people don’t read for Ra’s Al Ghul and understand because it is hard to find good characterization and solos for him period but if you need a reference here’s the complexity of Ra’s Al Ghul’s character, especially if you wish to write him.
Let’s extablish this: Ra’s Al Ghul is evil. He is a villian but not purposeless, he has motivations, ideations, as to why he does what he does. The Demon’s Head is a philosophy after all.
In the comic I’m going to talk about frequently, Ra’s aims to topple empires built upon the betterment of humans but to the destruction of animal health, habitation, ecosystem, and people who are a threat to the Earth itself, he then makes sure the next person who takes this Empire aims to either shut it down or improve it in a way that no longer allows said empire benefit from malicious means.
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Batman: One Bad Day explains Ra’s Al Ghuls youth and loss of his home and family at the face of a siege, with nowhere to go and no protection, he was left defenseless until he was protected by the wolves in the wilderness which led him to believe that the forest itself protected him. This is why I have a hard time hating Ra’s personally, I could never hate someone who’s gone through every catastrophic event of our ancestory, I imagine he’s victim to a lot of historical tragedy and any attempts to find happiness in a pure, authentic way probably was snatched from him. He’s likely seen the worst of society and I couldn’t hate him for that.
It’s important to note that Ra’s Al Ghul can love within centuries of his life, then he can be abusive.
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He believes all life to be just as worthy and precious as another. He believes all life is worth being saved though after all the hell that humans has put the Earth and it’s children through he has grown bitter and angry. He’s experienced the pit madness over and over, it’s likely simply a part of who he is.
Over spending hundreds of years alive, so much grief and death every single year for centries, he’s become traumatized. Now he attempts to save humanity from itself because of one bad day.
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Ra’s Al Ghul has even said that Jason Todd’s unnecessary death caused him to grieve, so much so that he sought Jason’s body out and brought him back to life.
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Here is Ra’s Al Ghul breaking down and tears for having to put his pet down so he’s very much not emotionless.
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Here is Damian arguing with his father over whether Ra’s Al Ghul’s ideations are correct or not. Damian’s feelings toward Ra’s are likely extremely complicated but I am sure there is more bad than good but that doesn’t mean it’s all bad.
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Here is Ra’s Al Ghul telling Damian that he is proud of him and has a deep respect for him. Also note that in Birth of the Demon, Ra’s Al Ghul has said that he prefers Bruce and him to be allies instead of enemies and even considers Bruce his son.
Ra’s still wishes he could be allies with Bruce and fantasizes about fighting alongside him to this day.
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Ra’s threatens Damian’s life but immediately after admits that he was just bluffing, and he would not have hurt Damian.
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When Ra’s mortally wounds Bruce, he lets Damian have a moment with his father given that he’s the one who fatally wounded Bruce in the first place.
Ra’s says explicitly that he was doing what he is doing for Damian’s future. He states again that he does not believe one life is more important than the other, even humans.
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I think it's very important that what Ra's does is extremely traumatizing and would not make sense to a child. He functions in a way where he thinks he is right and what he is doing comes from a place of love and compassion, including the things he does to Damian.
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Whether you agree with his philosophy or not is up to you, but he truly believes he's doing what he is doing for the bettering and benefit of his family.
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In conclusion, he is somewhat human, he's somewhat of a madman, he believes human life is valuable but as valuable as a healthy bird soaring through the sky, his actions come from a place of love though sometimes (often) he may be abusive. He would not kill a man without reason, he would not kill an animal without reason, he says above that he thinks killing to survive is different from killing for pleasure, he believes he's doing the same as killing to survive. And finally, he has no interest in anyone or anything that does not fullfill his role as the demon’s head.
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emilibro · 2 months
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Ughhh I'm so sorry to be an ass but I see so much popular art on tumblr and around the internet that really woobifies both Laios and Kabru and their relationship, especially when they're together.... You guys are aware that Laios eats monsters the way people would like. Eat animals, right? He's not crazy or stupid or sadistic or anything. He has a special interest and it's monsters.
Furthermore, his past having himself and his sister be shunned for their interests in the abnormal made him develop a distaste for humanity. Laios has just thought monsters were way cooler since he was a kid, and Falin really looked up for him for his dedication to his interests and personal code of moral ethics. He never loved his sister less for her abilities, he admired her for what made her different. Because he's fucking awesome and they're autistic as hell.... they both went through so damn much. Laios never fit into the military, into his hometown, he barely fit into most groups of adventurers since he met Marcille, chilchuck, and company, and two of the members of that original party didn't care enough to join him. His feeling of worthlessness to his friends in the beginning of the story are enough to make him imagine a whole scenario in between major chapters where he was the one who was eaten.. and he thought nobody except Falin would care enough to save him.
Point being Laios has a much richer character that goes ALONGSIDE his special interest in monsters. Which honestly is more comparable to, like. A fucking biologist. Not a monsterfucker, not a cannibal, none of that shit. Monsterfuckers are cool as a monsterfucker but he's not one.. he's more like a furry man.... And he's not stupid he's just. Autistic. Why are we making autistic characters with a silly side seem stupid? Everyone has dumb moments sure but like.. he's really smart guys... there's a reason he's such a good leader outside of his ability to listen to his party members. Don't fall for the mischaracterization of Laios that his party members originally set for him before major important arcs guys...
And Kabru. Oh my God. Kabru. Kabru is also autistic but for humans, social interactions and culture... he's a nerd for politics and the humanities, and I'll avoid saying much more to avoid spoilers for non-manga readers but you'll see more of that as time passes. But he's not the type to be easily flustered. Laios only gets to him, not even because he's that difficult to read, but because he catches him off guard. He's an interesting critter, bro. And Kabru definitely sees that. It takes time to respect that, but within a period of time he learns to see him as a relatively competent adventurer and places a lot of faith from him. On some level, this guy has learned to understand this very interesting autistic guy who is forward with his feelings that a very autistic Kabru hasn't learned to understand. That's what makes their relationship so cool, man. He's not cold in reality (though people may perceive him that way due to backstory motivations and attitude within the dungeon), but he's a lot more serious than this... c'mon guys.. let's be a little real here please.... at this point I barely like Labru anymore because they've been so like. Babied. Woobified. Whatever the word is man. I'm starting to appreciate their friendship more as a friendship now because I just think the beautiful qualities I saw in their romance have been sort of overlooked or misinterpreted. Nowadays I just think their platonic relationship is beautiful. Sighs.
Farcille is awesome though and these girls are awesome slay
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Edit: hey guys, I wanna address a couple of things here! For one, this isn't intended to be ship hate. Labru is a perfectly valid ship - rather, I'm just not a fan of how deep the mischaracterization of both characters runs, and how it results in the subsequent babying of their relationship. While it's driven me personally away from the romance a bit, I have no problem with the ship itself. Additionally, Farcille has its own issues with woobification that could use some addressing, I just haven't had to see as much mischaracterization on my feeds. Maybe in a future post I'll address some of my personal peeves with many people's characterization of Farcille, ESPECIALLY Falin.
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atimeofyourlife · 10 months
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A family Thanksgiving
This was supposed to be up yesterday, but it took on a mind of its own and instead of the few hundred words it was supposed to be, its nearly 3k. Happy belated Thanksgiving to anyone who celebrates! rated: t | wc: 2847 | cw: period typical homophobia, Steve's asshole parents
The offers from everyone to have him over for Thanksgiving had been great, any other year he would have loved such a choice, but for the first time in a long time, he was spending the day with family.
"But you hate your family." Dustin pointed out when Steve had told everyone about his holiday plans.
"No, I hate my parents. It's my grandma that asked me to go, and I want to see her and my cousins that I haven't seen in like five years. I'm driving myself to Chicago, so I won't be stuck in a car with my parents for hours on end." Steve explained.
"But you're working a late the day before, and I'm not going to cover you so you can drive up early" Robin replied.
"I'm planning on leaving by six on Thanksgiving morning. It's less than four hours to drive, so I'll be there before ten, well nine because of the timezone change. I took the late shift the day before so I had an excuse to drive myself, and my parents wouldn't have any reason to come by Hawkins before. And I drive home either the Friday or the Saturday, ready for our Sunday shift."
Come Thanksgiving day, Steve was somewhat regretting his decision. It had been nearly midnight before he'd gotten home, after a number of people came in just before closing insistent on needing a selection of movies ready for the next day. Then hadn't been happy when the movies they wanted weren't in stock, so they left the place a total mess, causing Steve to stay late to tidy up ready for the opener the next day. Then having to get up around five, so he could get ready and be on track to leave as planned. In an attempt to wake up, he was mostly surviving on a large cup of incredibly strong coffee. He was just counting down the minutes until he could get there.
When he walked in the door, he was immediately wrapped up in a hug from his grandma. "Stevie, it's so good to see you."
"It's great to see you too, Grandma." He returned the hug, melting into it a little. Exactly what he needed after the year it had been.
"Let me take a look at you." She stepped back slightly, giving him a once over. Her hand came up to trace the scar still on his neck from where he had been strangled by the bats and vines. "What happened here?"
"I. It's nothing. It looks a lot worse than it is." Steve replied, trying to get out of the awkwardness of the conversation.
"Oh, if you're sure. If you want to help with dinner, you can join us in the kitchen. But if you just want to rest, anyone who's watching football is in the living room, and the Macy's parade is on in the den."
"It's been a long drive, and I had a late finish last night, so I think I'm going to take a bit of a break. I might come out and help a bit later." He offered.
"Oh, honey. If you don't feel up to it, you don't need to help at all. Take it easy, and we'll call you once everything is ready." She kissed Steve on the cheek, before going back to the kitchen.
Steve made his way through the house, glancing into the living room as he passed. He could see his dad in one of the recliners, and decided against joining them. Wanting to delay the inevitable "you're a disappointment" lecture. He knew his mom would likely be in the kitchen, not actually helping, just drinking wine and gossiping. He moved on to the den, where most of his cousins were. He hovered in the doorway for a second, unsure what to say. So much had changed since the last time he had seen any of them.
"Wait, Stevie?" One of them, Lizzie, said as she looked up to see him.
"Uh, hey?" Steve replied, a little unsure, before he was being swamped in a group hug.
"Jesus Christ, when did this happen? Last time I saw you, you were like a little kid. Now you're a whole grown adult." Another, Mark, said.
After a long catch up, bringing Steve up to date on everyone else's lives, and him giving an abridged highlights of his last few years, they then got into more serious topics.
"Was everything okay after the earthquakes? I tried calling a few times, but I don't know if I had the wrong number because it never went through." Alice, the oldest of his cousins, asked.
"The phones were down across the whole town for a while after, then it was patchy for weeks after that. It was hard to get five or ten minutes without it dropping out. It took me like two weeks before I was able to get hold of mom and dad to let them know that the house was still standing, and that I was still alive." Steve explained.
"Wait, they weren't in Hawkins for the earthquakes?" Harry cut in.
"No, they've not been in Hawkins since February? Like over a month before it happened."
"Oh. They were telling us last night about how awful and hard it had been during the earthquakes, and how they were scared for their lives." Alice replied.
"That's such bullshit. They weren't in the country when it happened, they were in London. They didn't even know that it was Hawkins that was affected until I called them, because all they'd seen on the news was a freak earthquake hitting the Midwest. It hadn't even specified the state. And then they didn't care how I was, if I was hurt or anything, all they were interested in was if there was damage to the house, and how the earthquake could affect the resale value."
"Okay, I call dibs about bringing that up over dinner. I just want to see what shade of purple Uncle Dick can turn." Becca, the closest cousin to Steve in age, piped up. "But were you hurt?"
"Uh, minor injuries. Nothing serious." Steve lied, not wanting to worry anyone. "I was able to start volunteering within a couple of days. You know, helping out at the relief center, helping search for missing people. And when everything calmed down I was helping rebuild and stuff. Just trying to do my bit. But I'm fine now."
"That's good. But thinking of Uncle Dick turning purple, who gets to bring up Fuck Reagan?" Mark asked.
"Stevie's been through the most, I think he should get the chance." Alice replied.
"Uh, I think that would go down about as well as if I told him that my best friend is a dyke and I've spent most of my free time in the last six months sucking off the local drug dealer, who was accused of being a cult leader and murdering three people." Steve said quickly, unsure if he wanted anyone else to pick up what he'd said.
"Was that for drugs, or for fun, or what? Like a hook up?" Harry asked.
"He's my boyfriend. I mean, it helps that I get free weed out of him, but I'd do it anyway." Steve admitted.
"That is something you missed out of your round up. But I love that all of us are some variation of queer."
Dinner was...interesting, to say the least. After saying Grace, they went round the table to say what they were thankful for that year. Steve had to bite his lip to keep himself from laughing as his parents waxed on and on about how they were thankful for their lives and being able to escape the earthquake unscathed. He couldn't keep from laughing when Becca spoke up against them.
"Really? Because Alice asked Steve how he found it after the earthquakes, and he said that he couldn't reach you for two weeks after it happened because the phones were down and you were in London. And you didn't even know that it had hit Hawkins until he called you."
"Steven, why are you telling lies about us?" His mother demanded.
"I wasn't? You weren't in Hawkins when the earthquake hit. You've not been there since February. When I was finally able to call you, you only cared about how the house was, not if I was hurt. And you were pissed that I hadn't called you sooner, despite the fact the phone lines were down for the whole town. I could have died or been injured in hospital, and you wouldn't have known."
"How dare-" His father started, only to be cut off by Steve's grandmother.
"Settle down. There's no need for arguing. I am inclined to believe Steve, because I do remember you telling me that you were going to be spending a few months in Europe at the start of this year."
Both of Steve's parents were visibly unhappy, but they didn't push it any further, allowing the rest of the family to talk about what they were thankful for.
Many small conversations broke out over the table, Steve loving the feeling of being surrounded by family for the first time in a long time. He got pulled into talking to different people, but he did his best to avoid his parents' eye. Not wanting to get trapped by them telling him all the ways he had bothered them since he'd last seen them. But he knew they were up to something, when his father got up before dessert was served.
"Before we have anything else, we do have a big announcement about the future of our family." He said, using the voice he always used when talking to the most important clients.
"You've sucked enough political dick to get what ever tax exemption you were after?" Lizzie asked, before anyone could take it too seriously.
Steve's dad just spluttered in anger as a call of "Elizabeth." Came from at least four different people around the table.
"Ignoring that horrible interruption. What I was going to tell everyone is about Steven's imminent engagement. He is going to be proposing to Melissa Downey, the daughter of my business partner, at Christmas, they've been seeing each other for nearly eighteen months now, and it is going to mean big things for our family."
Steve couldn't respond, processing what had just been said, as everyone started speaking, some offering congratulations, others in confusion.
"That's news to me." Steve said loudly, to get over everyone's voices, once he could form the words. "I'm not planning on proposing to anyone."
"Well, Arthur and I have been discussing it, and it is the only thing that makes sense now, the two of you have been together for long enough, the logical next step is engagement."
"I'm not dating Melissa. We went on one date over a year ago, just after I graduated. It was awful, all she was interested in was if I made enough money to bankroll her spending addiction. I made up a fake emergency to get out of it, and I would rather stick forks in my eyes than suffer through that again." Steve got to his feet, bracing his hands on the table. Knowing he'd been right not to be optimistic that the holiday could pass without incident.
"You will if you know what's good for you. If you don't, it could destroy our business. You wouldn't want to be the reason we go broke, would you? You could end up homeless. Where would you live?"
"First, I have plenty of friends who would be happy to take me in if I had nowhere else to go. It's something we talked about after the earthquake, because some people I know did have damage caused to their homes and I let them stay with me until they could move back in. Second, I don't really care about whether or not you go broke. You don't provide any money to me. You haven't since I started working at Scoops. I pay for all my food, gas, clothes. If you go broke, my financial position won't change at all. And third, I can't propose to her. I'm in a relationship, and we're both very happy."
"Is it that Buckley girl? Or did you somehow manage to convince that Wheeler girl that you're actually worth something? Because I can tell you now, you are going to break up with whatever little slut-"
"His name is Eddie." Steve shouted before he could think it through, and a silence fell across the room. "That's right. Your son is one of those awful queers that you keep campaigning against, to keep them illegal and get them locked up. And you know what? He's easily the best sex I've ever had. Especially when we get high first."
"Why you-" His father roared, his face turning a dark red in anger. "How dare you do this to us? After everything we have done for you. You'd better hope that those friends of yours would be willing to take you in, because you are not living under my roof any longer. You will have until the end of the weekend to collect your belongings, anything left will be burned."
"Except, it isn't your roof, is it Richard? If I remember correctly, I was the one who paid the mortgage. My name is the one on the deed to the property in Hawkins. I just allowed you to live there, rent-free might I add, because it made sense for you to live somewhere close to Indianapolis when your business was taking off. I had been planning to sell up. So I think maybe you should be the one to collect your belongings from that house, because I'm not sure if I want you living under my roof any longer. It sounds life you're almost never there, anyway." Steve's grandma replied.
"But, mother-" His father started.
"But nothing, Richard. I don't know where you learnt your hateful attitude, because I know I did not raise you to be the sort of man that would kick your own son out over something as minor as who he loves. I really thought you were a better man than that."
"It's disgusting." Steve's mother added. "So unnatural, and that disease."
"What is disgusting is your bigotry. I think I want you both out from under my roof, now. So, if you would both kindly leave. And I expect you to move your belongings from the house in Hawkins, as that is now Steve's house, not yours. And you better not touch anything that isn't yours, or cause any damage, because I will take legal advice." Steve's grandmother stood up, anger radiating from her tiny five foot frame. "And, unless you change and apologize for your outdated beliefs, you can forget any inheritance. I will not have any of my money going to support hatred."
"Mother,"
"Leave, Richard. Now. I'm not afraid to get the police involved here."
Steve's parents looked at him with their faces filled with utter disgust, before they turned and left. His grandmother escorting them off the property.
"Are you okay, Stevie?" His grandmother asked after the end of the meal.
"I. I think so. I think I need to make a couple of phone calls." He replied.
"Use any of the phones, dear. Maybe if you know someone who can keep an eye on the house."
"Yeah. I babysit for the chief of police sometimes, so I might call him. He'll make sure nothing happens."
"Good. And, if you're talking to that boy of yours, tell him that he's got to come up here for Christmas. I want to meet him, and make sure he's good enough for you."
"Grandma." Steve protested.
"I'm just saying." She replied before walking away.
Steve shut himself in one of the bedrooms, for a little privacy from the still crowded house while he made the calls. The call to Hopper was quick, just outlining what was going on, and Hopper agreed to keep a check on the house until Steve was back in Hawkins. Then it was the call to Eddie.
"Baby, I wasn't expecting you to call. How's your Thanksgiving?"
"Interesting. My parents decided to announce that I was going to propose to dad's business partner's daughter. They wouldn't accept that I wasn't interested in her so I accidentally came out."
"Shit, I hope that didn't go too bad?"
"Uh, it could have gone worse? Somehow me coming out got my parents removed from the will and kicked out of the house. Because my grandma wasn't happy with them being assholes about it."
"Oh, badass grandma. I kinda want to meet her now."
"I was hoping you would say something like that. Because she has told me that you have to come here for Christmas. She wants to make sure that you're good enough." Steve couldn't help smiling as he talked, somehow the day had gone so much better than he'd ever hoped.
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ms-demeanor · 1 year
Note
Atheist condolence card like "sucks that your grandpa no longer exists and you'll never see him again, oh well"
I mean, I'm looking for a condolence card for a Jewish family (found a pretty good one, will be adding a note about a shared memory of the deceased and hopes for the mourners that their memory may be a blessing).
But also I have no idea why people find the concept of an afterlife comforting. Legitimately, that is unappealing to me and the idea that I would be artificially separated from the people that I love and reintroduced to them after a period of separation if there was no need for that time of mourning and loss seems. Bullshit? It seems like bullshit? Capricious and cruel at best?
Anyway when my grandpa died we got a phone call when they tossed is ashes into the ocean and we never saw him again! Being reminded that we wouldn't see him in an afterlife wasn't the sad part, the sad part was knowing that we wouldn't know him anymore, that we'd be on one side of a growing divide, that there was a before and an after and we had left him behind while we had to move forward. It wouldn't have been comforting to think "well perhaps someday when I have lived my life without him, I will see him again in a place where nothing from this life (all the things that I have done, all the things that he taught me) will matter because they were worldly and unimportant."
What was comforting at that time, and after the very many family deaths that I have experienced (and I've experienced a lot! I've been comfortable with the idea that I'll never see my loved ones again when they're gone since I was a very small child!), and what I suspect is comforting even for religious people who have experienced a loss is to be reminded of the people who are still on the same side of that dividing line, who we can still love and adore and support and make memories with.
Anyway. I'm an atheist at least partially because of my grandfather, who was a magician and a skeptic and took great joy in skewering the supernatural. It would be an insult to his memory to think that he was an angel lighting up a star in heaven or whatever the christian condolence cards say.
My grandpa did a sexy comedy magical immolation of my grandmother in front of crowds; there was a devil on the flier.
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(grandma's the one on the right)
Pictured: Not someone who had much reverence for death or much patience for the supernatural:
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(Funny story, when my dad came to visit this week he saw a 2-post 52U server rack on the driveway from a distance and asked me "where did you guys get the guillotine? Did I leave that here?")
But my family is probably *unusually* atheist and irreverent.
For atheists in general I don't know why people think that it's more upsetting to acknowledge the truth (that once people are dead you won't see them anymore) than to be told "comforting" lies (that you will see dead people again at some mystical place that you have no access to or proof of).
I *hate* hearing "they're in a better place" when I'm mourning someone I loved because that's something that's comforting for a religious person to say but dismisses both the way that I mourn and (frequently in my family) the beliefs of the deceased. They are not in a better place, they are *gone* and I don't want to imagine that they're somewhere waiting for me to join them again, I want to remember them for who they were and accept that they aren't in my life anymore.
"They're in heaven now" "they're with the angels now" "they're with their maker" - none of those things are true and they reflect an extremely limited worldview that I don't share and find pretty insipid actually! Thank you for trying to comfort me you are doing a poor job of it I'm going to go hang out and talk to someone who actually knew them and we'll share stories of what an asshole they were and what kind of crazy nonsense they got up to and what a big, important part of our lives they were and we'll start trying to make sense of how to fill the hole left behind with something practical and joyful and fun and honest that they would have loved instead of cardboard angel wings.
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homosexualworkaccount · 3 months
Text
Jason Todd’s “Replacement” nickname for Tim Drake, Origins and Popularisation
So, making a 2500-word essay on how a fanon nickname that only me and like two other people care about is not how I expected to spend my time in between exams.
A lot of Batfam fans are very, very much aware of the fanon “Replacement” nickname Jason has for Tim, and a lot of us very, very much hate it due to the connotations of fanon characterisation that it has. I don’t personally, I think it’s an alright enough one that fits into the established canon ones – but to be fair, I haven’t read the comics in a hot minute, so my memory could be screwy.
I got curious one day on where the nickname came from when a user on TikTok mentioned that it might’ve originated from a Batfam incest fic (They weren’t too sure and told me to take it with a grain of salt) – so shout out to them for starting me down this rabbit hole! I looked over on here and saw that notion repeated, though no one could pinpoint me to a specific fic beyond “It was popularised from a Batfam incest fic.”. I also saw a few people say that it was derived from canon, which piqued my interest further so I decided to go down a rabbit hole of fandom history purely for some fun.
The aim of this essay is just to clear up some misconceptions around the origin of the name, all fun and no harm. Don’t send harassment to people referenced in this either over a silly nickname, it's been well over a decade since they wrote the works used here.
Preface
Alright, first things first – all sources are going to be ones that were published after August 2005, the official date the first issue of Batman: Under the Red Hood was published, where Jason was established to be alive again.
While there could be a chance that the nickname was derived from a website/fanfiction before 2005, it’s highly unlikely due to the fact it was only popularised in the early 2010’s, and well, because Jason was dead and no one gave a shit about him. Also good to remember that most websites that ran before 2005 are defunct and purged from the internet now, particularly fanfiction websites (such as Quidzillia) due to various issues (taboo, copyright, costs to run ect).
Small note to make again – the Batfam fandom was fairly small at the time, the more fandom-y part of the DC community usually sticking to their own websites like Quotev, Quidzilla (again, defunct now), AO3, Fanfiction.net, LiveJournal and independent websites (again, defunct) while the rest stuck to discussion sites, so the entire fandom functioned more as a insular community from what I could tell. I will be working with the assumption that the nickname was created on one of the larger platforms, as any other platform didn’t have large enough influence to popularise the nickname.
The nicknames that I specifically looked for was simply Jason calling Tim Replacement in place of his actual name. Something like “Replacement Robin” was on very thin ice, but still counted as an offshoot. Anything else was off bets.
This whole thing will be split into a few sections to make some things for myself easier. Preface, Sources, Pre-cursor Fanfiction, Fandom Opinion and Language, First usage, Popularisation, Conclusion, Questions, Final Notes.
Sources
Fanfic.net – Created 1998, was and remains one of the larger fanfiction sites. Note; Fanfiction.net had various periods of time where there were large scale purges of fanfictions that held more mature content. Most notable instances were in 2002 and 2012.
Archive Of Our Own – The holy grail for my research. Created in 2008. For the information I got from there I used the search filter Date Updated, tagged Jason’s and Tim’s individual tags and followed from there.
Live Journal – Created 1999 and was used as one of the larger sites for fandom and fanfiction. Was used by DC fandom goers regularly so I used it to get an idea of the fandom at the time.
Tumblr – Created 2007. Theres various people on here who have compilations on DC timelines and comic sourcing that helped me correlate fandom growth with specific comic releases (Shout out to @ectonurites for their meta posts and timeline posts, they were a major source for this!). Dogshit filtering system, so I couldn’t find posts pre 2012 about DC.
Note; Quotev and Wattpad weren’t used in this as their filtering systems don’t account for searching for older fanfictions, so sadly had to be discarded as most fanfictions between 2006-2010 on those websites are now very difficult to find.
Pre-Cursor FanFiction
So, before we get to the actual first proper use I could find of “Replacement”, I first want to mention a fanfiction that had something very similar that I think would be important purely for archiving reasons around how the nickname came to be. And also because it fits the nickname criteria I mentioned earlier.
Published on the 29th of November 2006, last updated on the 28th of November 2007, was the fanfiction My-Enemy-My-Brother on Fanfiction.net by user theunknownvoice – featuring the first use of Jason referring to Tim with a nickname including replacement, Replacement Robin. Kudos to theunknownvoice, they created the very first nickname that would kickstart the rest.
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While Jason doesn’t explicitly refer to Tim as Replacement – the main subject of this essay, it comes very damn close, so I wanted to include it. There is a part where Jason repeats replacement in his head multiple times, and I think he’s supposed to be referring to Tim, but the sentence isn’t very clear on that part, so I won’t count it, but it is important to acknowledge.
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Though this isn’t the fanfiction that influenced the development of Replacement. This fic had barely enough reach to influence any future works years later. I couldn’t find any connection with this work and later works that officially did just have Jason call Tim “Replacement”
Fandom Opinion and Language at the time
I promise this is important and that I’m not a pretentious linguistic, English isn’t even my first language.
I like to think we all know how fandom discussion just seeps into fanfiction (See; the nickname green bean for Deku from MHA leaking into fanfiction) so I just want to quickly point this out.
Discussion around the two blew up after Jasons return in late 2005, people going “What does this mean” and “What does that mean for Tim”. Through the few posts I could dig up from this time and up to 2011, it seems people came to the conclusion that Tim was Jason’s replacement, and that their dynamic was Jason dealing with the fact that he had one. You can definitely see that in some of the posts and fanfiction written at the time that usually had Jason dealing with Tim being his replacement.
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(Just a few examples from LiveJournal but more like this are still floating around, if they aren’t deleted anyway)
It’s very likely that the authors themselves engaged in similar discussions/had independent thoughts that ended in the same conclusions, seeping into the fanfiction itself later. In the comics pre-New 52 I couldn’t find any major instance of Jason explicitly referring to Tim as his replacement (only implied through speech), so this was mostly contained in fandom discussions from what I can tell. (Note, this was probably similar on comic discussion websites, but I couldn’t find any that still exist pre-2007, so I’m going to assume literacy skills are not any better on those sites. See; Batman dick riders)
The fact that Tim is explicitly described as having replaced Jason, and sometimes as “Being the Replacement” on posts/fanfiction definitely had a hand in the creation and popularisation of the nickname, influencing the fan content made around the two.
First usage of Replacement
Cain! Cain! Is the first use of the nickname Replacement really from a Batfam incest fanfiction?
Nope, thank God.
After filtering their character tags together on AO3, going to the oldest page and clicking through over 10 pages, reading every single fanfiction on each one (yes, even the weird ones, I was dedicated) I found the first instance where Jason explicitly refers to Tim as Replacement, that still exists today anyway.
Published on the 24th of January, 2009 by user shiny_glor_chan, is the fanfiction Four Calling Birds, a fanfiction detailing Stephenie Brown returning from faking her death (a whole headache from the comics that I can't be arsed to explain) and getting to meet Jason and Dick for the first time. Genuinely sweet, and a corner stone of fandom history, officially. Hip hip Hooray! Congratulations shiny_glor_chan.
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I tried tracing to see if this person had any other accounts that I could find to see where they got the nickname from, but it seems it’s mostly a nickname they thought up out of the fact that they had consistently wrote Jason explicitly stating that Tim was his replacement
And reading through several more pages of fanfiction again, feeling like I want to bleach my eyes out, I found the second instance of the nickname being used. Published on the 26th of May, 2010 by user axiel-neesan, is the fanfiction The Only Piece You Get, where Jason basically acts as Tim’s cabbie and bonds with him. Another corner stone of fandom history, hooray.
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These two authors are completely unrelated and have no connections to each other besides both frequenting LiveJournal, having taken prompts and having friends from that website, despite having no accounts I could find. I personally think they had a similar train of thought of “Huh, that would be a sick ass nickname.”. Chances are that axiel-neesan saw shiny_glor_chans fic and got inspired as the fandom was dead small on AO3 at the time – around 20 pages worth of fanfiction from 2008-2010 (And thats being generous if we’re counting now deleted ones)
These two fanfictions are immensely important because it’s the only early instances I could find of the nickname being used, and for about two years after the nickname pops up occasionally – but by no means was it popular, or even regularly used, I had to look for the fanfictions that used it.
Props to shiny_glor_chan and axiel-neesan! I pray that you two don’t see what the fandom thinks of that nickname now.
Popularisation
Early 2012 saw the proper explosion of fandom for the Batfam, and by extension the nickname.
By this point there were so many fanfictions that I couldn’t read them all, so I started picking random ones that tagged Jason and Tims relationship, platonic or not. Pre-April-ish of 2012 the nickname popped up every other page or so, but sometime after mid-2012 the nickname was in almost every fanfiction that I skimmed through – so that’s its official growth period.
Why though? Several factors probably.
The New-52 was in full swing by this time, DC massively promoting the reboot to get new fans interested, so people picked up comics from there. Young Justice – the more mainstream exposure of DC to surface level fans aired its second season in April of 2012, introducing people to Tim Drake and his story and getting them interested. Fanfiction and fandom as a whole was becoming less taboo and more accepted in fan spaces, so encouragement to write it was much better than it was in the early years of the internet (Example; Teen Wolf’s production team)
As for a specific catalyst for the growth of popularity for the nickname? There might be something worth pointing to.
Kudos for @ectonurites for helping me on this (Hi Sam! I was anon!) and giving me a publishing date on Tim’s and Jason’s first New 52 interaction – Red Hood and the Outlaws #8, published on the 18th of April, 2012. It features an instance of Jason and Tim interacting in a very friendly and familial way, Jason explicitly calling Bruce their Dad. Compared to their last major previous interaction of Jason leaving Tim for dead, fans of the two who enjoyed the more familial potential (and tragically, romantic potential) took it and ran with it.
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All of these combined in some way to contribute to the popularity of the nickname in mid to late 2012, and lead to it’s infamy in DC fanfiction.
Conclusion
In conclusion, how do I think the nickname came to be?
I think it’s a combination of factors that led to it’s creation. As already established people very much did see Tim as Jasons replacement at the time, and the language could have shortened down from “Tim replaced Jason” to “Tim is Jason’s replacement” to “Tim is the replacement” which I think could be the train of thought the 2006 author went down to create the nickname Replacement Robin.
This definitely influenced the AO3 writers as shiny_glor_chan was present on LiveJournal at the time (where this language was very prominent), so they were already down the line of thinking this and probably went “Huh, replacement is kinda a funny nickname” and added it. As already stated, I think axiel-neesan probably had a very similar train of thought or may have seen shiny_glor_chan’s fic and was inspired.
And from there people saw it, used it in their own works, getting leaked over onto LiveJournal, which was the main website for prompt sharing, getting used a decent amount there before the explosion of fandom in mid-2012 that lead to it’s regular usage in fan works.
Questions
So, is the nickname from a Batcest fic?
Nope! The nickname mostly makes an appearance in platonic fics between Jason and Tim, it’s actually a chore to find it in their romantic ones, as in I think I found one instance of it being used somewhere in late 2010 but I can't think of it in a fanfiction that predates that. All early uses of the nickname were in platonic fics between the two.
I think this rumour is based around three fanfictions specifically on Ao3 that people are pointing to, I think, no one seems to be wanting to name names. They’re the ones that pop up when you search Replacement in the word search after tagging Tim Drake and Jason Todd together.
Wings to Fly. Published October of 2012. Jason Refers to Tim as Replacement. Jason/Tim
Replacement. Published 2009. The title implies it’s referring to Tim, but Jason never explicitly nicknames Tim replacement, the narrator only calling Tim “His replacement”, him being Jason. Jason/Tim. Non-con
The Replacement. Published 2011. Can't figure out if the title is supposed to refer to Tim or is simply just titled that for the sake of it. Jason talks a few times about Tim being his replacement, but the nickname never makes an appearance. Jason/Tim
Does the nickname have any bases in Canon?
From what I can tell, no. I haven’t read all the Batfamily comics Pre-New 52, or from after Batman: Under The Red Hood, I mostly stray towards Hal Jordans comics lol. I don’t think theres any major instance where Jason talks about Tim replacing him by specifically using replacement or replacing (It can be inferred from his speech sometimes, but Jason’s relationship with Tim was much more complex than that. I’d recommend reading @ectonurites metas about the two to get a better idea) Theres a few instances in 2015 post-New 52 reboot where Jason says explicitly that Tim replaced him, but that was way after the nickname was popularised.
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Red Hood and Arsenal #7 (2015)
Final Notes
That’s about it! That’s the result of my month long dive into almost twenty years worth of DC fandom history as a fun side project. Please don’t harass anyone linked here, this was just project to pass the time and not a call out post for anyone that did contribute to the popularisation of the nickname.
Feel free to ask me anything else about this or any other DC fandom history and I’ll try to research it!! This was genuinely a fun thing to do to pass the time and work out my research muscles.
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screaminglygay · 1 year
Text
KINKTOBER day 2
pairing: stalker!amber x fem!reader
summary: you have only one friend, chad, but maybe you have another one, that you don’t even know about.
warnings: dark!amber, light choking, dark themes, swearing, dirty talk, use of a puppy nickname like twice, smut!!!, possibly bad grammar, if anything else, let me know!
word count: 5.3k
an: second day, yay! this one was bit harder to write, so I hope you like it! You know the drill, if there is any typo here, let me know and I’ll fix it!
an2: thank you for all the support! It means a lot!:)
(italics = your thoughts)
ALL CHARACTERS ARE 18+!
!MDNI!
Enjoy this spooky time and be safe!
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Buzz buzz.
Your phone buzzed again, you picked it up and notice that it´s your friend, Chad. You and him had few classes together and basically get along just because he was annoying you for such a long time, that you basically couldnt resist any longer. He was the charmer, extroverted football player who act like a big puppy of bernard. And you were the quiet, reserved type of a girl, who needed to charge before any social event.
Chadinator
7:11AM
Imma pick you up in 10!
You always chuckled at his nickname, since he came up with it himself. Chad was so proud of that, that it´s basically the law to leave it like that and don´t change it. I mean how could you, he would whine and maybe even shed a tear if you changed it to something so simple as his name.
It´s was pretty common for you two to walk to school together this early. Chad either had his practise or some football meeting and you liked to go to the library before the first period. Today wasn´t exepction, so after you quickly just brushed your teeth and took your bag, that you suprisingly prepared the night before, you were already waiting for him in front of your dorm. Both of you preffered to walk to school, especially when it was such a pretty weather as it´s today.
"Boo!" Chad jumps from one of the trees that were dacorating the street.
"Asshole!" You yell as your heath skipped a beat. Slapping his arm was truly an instinkt by now, being with Chad was the same as having an older brother. Flinching everytime he came close.
Chad laughs, he look refreshed even at this time. "Works every time! You gotta keep sharp, (Y/N)! You never know where the danger will came from." Chad started to pucnh the air. "Left hook, right hook and pow pow pow! And he´s down!" Chad stated as you two began to walk.
"Who´s he?" You asked looking at Chad.
"I don´t know, (Y/N). That´s for you to decide." he just shrugs and kept walking.
As soon as you came to school, you´ve said your goodbyes and both of you went separate ways. Not like you didn´t talk in school, you did. But you prefered to be alone and enjoy your time in silence. Chad was the other way around, he had a friend group, that he always told you to join, because he would appraciate someone who would shut Mindy, his twin sister, up and since youre into movies too, you would do a great job at it, at least that´s what he always says. But you´re too shy to come over and say hi to people. It gives you instant flashback to the days in middle school where youre trauma was created. That moment you had to say your name and three funfacts about yourself.
Having Chad as the only person you talk to is quite great. No drama, at least not with you two. You often gossip about people in school, but in non judgmental way, of course. He was always kind and you two basically complete eachother. A lot of people might think Chad is just another jock who cant count to three, but it’s the other way around, actaully. Without Chad you would most definetly fail math or chem. You hate these subjects will all of your hearth.
Speaking of math, you were just on your way to the library to borrow another book with mathematical quadrations. So you won´t fail your math exam next week, you wanted to do this on your own, at least try it and then the night before call Chad with panic in your voice that he needs to tutor you asap, or the world will end. As this was normal scenario before every math exam. As always, you put your headphones in and played your "study session" playlist, with soft instrumental music. You turned a corner and as you were in your head you bumped into someone, their books fell down. And you immidielty pull your headphones off, as you took them off you heard a little "shit".
You look up and notice its Amber Freeman. A girl you know from Chad´s storytimes. You quickly look her up and down, which she in fact did notice, but you didnt realized that. She was portrayed by Chad stories as someone who dont give a flying damn about anyone and anything. Her outfit was pretty suiting on her. Black on black, with some cute silver nacklace.
"Oh shoot! Sorry! I didnt notice yo.! Let me just..." you crouched down and picked up all her fallen books. She probably just visited the library herself. You notice one of the books were a mathematical quadrations. You chuckled in your mind, being little happy that you´re not the only person who was having problems with that.
"No worries." Amber smiles.
You made eye contact with her again, she doesn´t seem that unfriendly as Chad said, she look actually pretty welcoming.
"Here." You smiled at her as you give her the books.
"Thank you..." She prolong the word as a gesture of not knowing your name.
"(Y/N)!" You state awkwardly as you though she know your name from Chad stories as well. Maybe you were just wrong.
"(Y/N)? Huh, are you new?" Her question throw you off guard, completly.
"N-no, uh Im actually Chad´s friend." Trying to explain who you are was even more humaliating to you.
"Oh really? My bad. Well pleasure to meet you, I guess I see you later." She winks at you and with her many books, she left.
You stand there for a couple of second, not knowing what just happened.
Did she just wink at me? Did Chad never mention me before? Should i socialize more if people think im new? Math exam!
After you enter the library, you were trying to find another edition of the math book and of course you can´t find it. So you asked the book lady and she said that the last edition was just borrowed by one of the students today.
Amber.
You can´t go bother Chad again, not when he has practise, so either you´re gonna fail, or you´re just try to socialize. It would be easier to move to Mexico, change your name and just dissapear from the world. You sigh, looking at your phone, you still have some minutes till the first period. So your next task is to find Amber Freeman.
After walking for another ten minutes, you decided to go to second floor. You walk there and thanks to your luck, Amber is there, putting her stuff into her locker. You start to walk little faster and you awkwardly stand next to her. The dark haired girl closed the locker and look at you.
"Well I guess that later is sooner then I expect it." She chuckled.
"Yeah, I need that." Poiting to the book she was currently holding in her hand wasn’t actually the maturest idea. "I mean..." You clearn your throat. "Im really shitty at math and this is the only way i can have at least D."
"Why don´t you ask Chad?" Amber tilts her hand, looking at your face.
"Um he has a football." You shrug. "I don´t-" Before you can finish your sentence, Amber speaks up.
"Wanna bother him." She rolls her eyes. Now you were starting to understand what Chad was saying about Amber. "I bet you’re one of those little cute shy girls, huh?" Amber smirks.
"I... just think I can do this on my own." You say, but it sounded more like a question.
"Can you?" Her brown eyes are watching every single one of your facial expression.
"I don´t-"As you want to answer she cuts you off again.
"I´ll tutor you, tomorrow after school?" Amber doesn´t care she started talking over you again, she doesnt look so welcoming at all anymore. More like this whole converstaion is beyond her and she has to deal with the most annying thing.
"I- uh.. yeah! Sure. Thank you." You nod, being shocked at how fast her behaviour changed.
"Good. Anything else you want?" Amber looks away, now not even looking at you. You feel more and more humiliated around her.
"N-no, no." You shake your head and with that you just leave to your first period.
After you left, Amber smiled to herself. After long nights of thinking about the best plan ever, she´s finally doing it and everything works just how she wanted too. With just the right push you gonna fall in love with her, just how she wants you to. How you want to, but you don´t know it yet.
Of course Amber knew who you were, of course Amber knew that every morning you go to the library before your first class. And of course she knew how much you suck at math. She knows way more than just this, even way more than a normal person should know. But who said she was a normal person?
She had you as her little project over the summer, when you and Chad became close friends. Analyzing your posts on social media, zooming in to see every detail, saving every photo or video of yours, just in case your little overthinking head will decide to delete it someday. Which happened a lot, but she was always a little faster than you. Amber was the first person who liked your photo, viewed your story, see what youve been up to. She gave you subtle signs that you two are meant to be. Of course she had to make sure, not to be so obvious - so she made a couple of fake accounts, for her to actaully work on her little project better. For exaplme account "mathe_F" was made when Chad said you had first problems with math and that he can´t hang out with the group, because he has to tutor you. "emily_didi" was made right after you shared on your story that you´ve just finished a show called "Dickinson" and all of the other account were in the same vibe. Meaningful subtle messages for you and only you.
After a few classes that were nothing else but boring you were at your locker, when one of the professors addresed you. She asked you if you could give this to Amber Freeman since she saw you guys talking, it was just some small books that she was interested in. She handed you two small books and walked away.
"This is just perfect..." You mumbled to yourself as you had mixed feelings about that mysterious girl. You weren´t sure if she was nice or if she was mean. You want to figure it out, but definetly not today, since you´ve been up her ass twice today. Twice.
But it would be better to already have it done, so you walk up to the second floor and hope that Amber will be at her locker again, but she´s not. As you turn away ready to walk away and catch her later, you saw some long dark hair dissepearing into the womans batrhoom. So obviously you made your way there, you opened the door and wait for her next to the sinks.
After few minutes the door opened and you were right, it was Amber. She looked up and it was suprise even for her. She tilt her head and walk to the sinks on the right side. She made eye contact with you through the mirror and because you haven´t said a word, she just smiles
"Are you stalking me or just following me like a lost puppy?" She took few towels and wipe her hands. Then take a few steps closer, sudenly you feel how your back hit the cold wall. "I´ve asked you a question, didnt I?"
"I... I´m not stalking you, I just- Mrs. Darott asked me to bring you this. Your books from her class." You explain, but you were pretty nervous by her comment, that it sounded like a poor excuse you just made on the spot.
Amber smiles and nods, taking the books from your hands. "So if youre not a stalker, then that leads us to our second option and that´s a lost puppy. Cute." she steps closer again. "If i didn´t recognize these books I would truly think that you´ll find any excuse to be at least 2 minutes with me."
You don´t know what to say to that, you simple just stare, completly like a confused puppy. She steps closer, now fully blocking a way out, literally by her body. She press agaisnt you and who would have thought she would be that strong. Her hands are next to your head, her eyes never left yours. You can feel her breathing on you, you can feel her levander parfume, it is like youre intoxicated by her.
"You wanna go?" Amber barerly whisper to you. The truth to be told, you don´t want to go, you just want to stay, because... you don´t even know why, but you want to stay with her. But because you don´t want to look desparate you nod your head.
"Then beg." And there she is again. The harsh Amber you don´t like that much, but your body does.
"W- what?" Confussion is heard from your voice, it can be also read from your face.
"You heard me, if you want to go, you can just beg. It´s not that hard, (Y/N)." Her lips are so close to your ear, meaning her whisper are running right down your body.
You mumble something, that you don´t even understand.
"Speak up, (Y/N). I can´t hear you." she said in mocking way.
"Please, may I go?" Your eyes avoid hers, looking everywhere else than her is the smartest way to survive, whatever this is. But she has something else in her mind. Her left hand comes closer to your face and her fingers softly touch your chin. The sudden feeling on your face is making you look at her. Once again her plan working exactly how she planned. Your gaze met and you can see on her face that she is not happy at how badly you just beg. So intiitively you correct yourself.
"Please Amber, I came her to give you the books. May i go know? Please." Her looks is not satisfied. "Pretty please?" You add with the most puppy dog look, that just breaks even someone as Amber Freeman herself.
She pull away and for some confusing reason, you already miss her being so close to you.
How the hell does she do that?
"Yes, you may." She smiles and like nothing happen she fully pull away.
"T-thanks" Stuttering words were left out of your mouth as you left the restrooms.
The whole day was this feeling in your stomach every single time you thought about Amber. You try to shake it off, you don´t know what happened in the restrooms, you didn´t know if it was a good or bad feeling. Youre first thought was to tell Chad, so he can help you understand this, but it was Amber. His friend. You were alone to figure it out, like you were with the math test.
Who even is Amber Freeman?
On your way from school you took the bus, Chad had his after school practice and you didn´t feel like walking anymore. And you were also pretty interest in finding out who Amber truly is. You looked at her instagram and the number of followers she had shocked you.
Is she that popular?
You scrolled down her feed and you´ve seen some pretty selfies. Some group photos, some nice instastrories about travelling. Oh and some pretty good music and books taste, almost the same as yours. What a coincidence, right?
As you scrolled lower her account, you noticed that she used to be a horse lover. A lots of pictures when she was like 10 on a horse. Looks like she didn´t care if anyone sees this, what a confident and non insecrue person. She owns every signle photo. As you scrolled down you missclicked and you like one of her old photos on a horse, by accident.
Oh no. No, no, no, no, no! Fuck!
You unlike it in a second, but youre not entirely sure if it´s in time.
Fuck! She will think im really a stalker now! Fuck me!
You yell in your head as you panic on the bus. It was few stops till your dorm and you didn´t care at all if Chad has a practice or not. This is an emergency!
You
4:19PM
CHAD!
CHADDDD!
SOS!
911!
Chadilator
4:22PM
Are you okay?
What´s wrong?
(Y/N)???
You
4:22PM
IF YOU LIKE SOMEONES OLD PHOTO ON INSTAGRAM AND UNLIKE IT WILL THEY SEE IT OR NOT??
Chadilator
4:23PM
OMG WHO DID YOU LIKE PHOTO OF?!?!?!?!?!
You
4:23PM
ANSWER THE QUESTION!
Chadilator
4:23PM
PROBABBLY THEY´LL SEE IT
WHO IS IT?
You
4:24PM
NO ONE IMPORTANT THATS WHY IM FREAKING OUT.
And that was a lie. Probably the first lie that you told Chad. After few texts with Chad, he went back to doing whatever football guys do, but he promised he will bombard you with quiestions later. Great.
Amber was just going from school as a notification pooped up, (y/n/n)_ liked your photo.
She doesnt recall posting something very recently, she opens the app and chuckle as she realized what just happened. You had to dive deep, really deep. Amber smiled to herself knowing her plan is working even better, than she imagined.
...
You wake up with a jolt, your heart pounding in your chest. The sunlight break a way through your curtains, casting a warm glow on your room, but it offers no peace to your restless mind. Last night, sleep avoided you due to a dark haired girl.
The anxiety builds up within you as you remember the countless equations and formulas you struggled with. Your tutor, Amber, is a person you can´t really imagine tutor someone and don´t yell at them. But at the same time, she can be nice, sometimes. But will she be nice when you liked her old picture?
Maybe she didn´t see it. But what if she did?
As you groggily roll out of bed, your stomach is buzzing with nerves. You wonder if she´ll notice your sleep-deprived eyes, your shaky hands, your breathing. With each step towards the kitchen, you try to shake off the uneasy feeling. Maybe today will be different. Maybe you'll have a normal study session and it will be like nothing ever happened. You force yourself to eat a small breakfast, though the knot in your stomach makes it difficult to swallow.
The clock ticks relentlessly, drawing closer to the time you have to get out of your dorm and to face Chad.
Oh my god, Chad.
You´re not ready for his teasing, at least not today.
As you leave, you take a deep breath, trying to quell the nervousness that courses through your veins.
Oh what am I thinking? Today will be hell, but it’s okay, one after school session with Amber can´t hurt me, right?
As you open the door Chad is already waiting there with big smirk on his face.
"Soooo?" He skips to you. "Spill the tea!" Chad giggled like a small boy.
"Spill the tea?" You tilt your head and look at him as you two began to walk to school.
"Mindy says it a lot" Chad answers as he shrugs. "But don´t change the subject, go on and talk, (Y/N)." You have to make something up, quickly.
Shit, shit, shit. It was your friend. And we had this situation in bathroom... what it even was? I don´t know, but it was something!
You thought to yourself as you internaly panic.
"(Y/N)?" Chad nudge your arm.
"It was uh... do you remember the story about the girl at a bar? Well..." You and Chad made eye contact and his mouth falls open.
"The one you made out with?" Chad asks.
You simly just nod. And that was a second lie in less than 24 hours you told your bestfriend.
"No way!" Chad laughs.
"Yes, way." You sigh.
All the way to school Chad had many teasing remarks at you and how funny this whole situation was.
Yes, Chad. It´s absolutely hilarious.
...
You rush through the crowded hallways, your books in hand. First, it's history lecture. Then, off to sociology and lastly for the day englist literature. As the clock ticks, you barely notice the passing of time.
Suddenly, all your lectures are done for today, which means your tutoring with Amber is here. Your stomach grumbles as the nerves are back kicking in. As you get out from school, you notice Chad, Amber and the rest of the group sitting near the parking lot. You walk up to them, looking only at Chad, not wanting to make eye contact with Amber, at all. Not now yet.
"There she is! The lucky girl!" Chad announces.
"Hm?" You tilt you head not knowing what he meant.
"I was just telling them how you liked the old picture..." He laughs.
"Oh..." This was the moment you shared a look with Amber, she was already looking at you, but you didn´t see any hint of her knowing anything else, besides what Chad just said.
Maybe she really didnt saw it.
"Don´t worry, (Y/N). It happenes to the best of us." Mindy smiles.
"Yeah, (Y/N). She probably didn´t even see the notification." This time it was Amber speaking. But there was this smile again. This cruel smile of hers, which she had in the bathroom as well.
Shit. She knows.
"R-right." You nod.
After a few minutes of just hanging up, all of you went to different ways. Mindy went back into her dorm to her girlfriend. Chad went to his football practice as always, Tara went with him as a "cheer up". So it was just you and Amber. And you already know that it´s gonna be a memorable tutoring.
"So... puppy, are you ready for tutoring?" Amber asks.
"Can you not call me like that, please?" You take your backpack as a sign of ready to leave.
"I thought you like it, guess I must heard something, if im already seeing things." She shrugs and smiles at you.
"I uh- about that-" You look at her.
"About what?" She takes her own purse and the both of you start to walk towards her dorm, you don´t question it, you just follow her. Like a lost puppy.
"About- you know..." You nod towards her phone.
"Oh! Give me your phone." Again, you don´t question her and just passing your phone to Amber sounds like a good idea. You look at her nervously and after a few second, she pass you the phone back. You look at it and notice that she added her number into your phone.
"I- didn´t... thanks." Smiling was the only good idea you had right now.
"So it´ll be less weird if you like my old photo again." Amber winks.
"Shit! I- sorry. It was on accident. I just- was-" You immidietly blush and stutter your words like a kid who just been caught.
"Don´t. It´s cute. And don´t worry, we´re cool." It was again, the nice Amber, the same one as the first time you met her. "We should study, for your own good, (Y/N)." You liked this Amber a lot.
...
You sit across from Amber in her cozy dorm room, textbooks and notebooks spread out before you. The math problems on the page are challenging, but Amber's suprising patient is really making you at least try. She's been an excellent tutor, who would have thought?
As you both work through the problems, Amber's focus is strictly on you. Her dedication to helping you succeed is evident in her every word and gesture. However, as time passes, you notice a shift in her demeanor. She starts to glance at her phone more frequently, checking messages and notifications, her attention gradually drifting away from the math problems on the table, from you.
You clear your throat, trying to refocus her attention on the task at hand, but Amber's responses become distracted. She apologizes, but you can still feel her attention away from you. It seems that, for now, the math problems will remain unsolved, overshadowed by her phone.
You try to make the conversation back to math, asking questions and showing her the problems you're struggling with, but her attention keeps slipping away. You find yourself making more of an effort to capture her interest, right now you´re trying anything, hoping that she'll put her phone down and pay attention to you, like she did at the beginning of the session.
"Just so you know, I didn´t like like the picture, it was on accident. Horse girls are... scary." You mumble, being annyoed as she doesn´t even look at you.
"What did you say?" She looks up from her phone.
"You heard me, Amber." You shrug.
"Oh so that´s how you gonna be now? I don´t pay attention so you gonna attack me for my posts?" Amber chuckles. "Aren´t you the one who is obssesed with Marvel ladies? Or should I say... fanfiction?"
How the hell does she know?
"I don´t know what you´re talking about." You sit up more straight as to help you come of as confident person. Which doesn´t help at all.
"Natasha Romanoff x reader, smut, bdsm-" Amber is cut off by your hand.
"Shut up." After a second you´ve just realized what did you do. "Sorry." You pull your hand away as your face is now red as a tomato.
"So I was right." Amber has this cheeky smile on her face. The one you´d like to kiss away from her face.
Kiss? Am I attracted to her? No, I´m not. Maybe. I mean she´s hot. God i like her. Maybe? Do I?
"No you´re not. I don´t like these stuff, who even is Natasha Romanoff?" You chuckle.
"God, you´re such a shitty liar. Besides you had an essay on the MCU like a few months ago plus I saw Wattpad AND Tumbrl on your phone." She nods towards your phone.
"So you knew who I was, when we met!" You basically yelled at her. "Who´s lying now, huh? Miss mysterious!" This time it was Amber who lost her words. "Hm? Cat got your tongue?" Your smirking made something in Amber switch.
"Fuck this-" Her hand grab your shirt and pulled you towards her, her lips crashing at yours. The kiss is electrifying, sending shivers down your spine. It's both sweet and intense, like a long-awaited release.
Amber's hand finds its way to the grab your neck, fingers harshly threading through your hair, while yours rest against her waist, pulling her impossibly closer. The world outside melts away, leaving just the two of you, lost in the heat of the moment. Math was long forgotten.
Emotions swirl within you - confusion, longing, and a spark of undeniable passion. It's a kiss that feels like both a beginning and an end, a moment of surrender to something you can't quite define but desperately want to explore. As you finally break apart, breathless and wide-eyed, knowing that this kiss has changed everything between you and Amber. At least for you, for her? Nothing have changed and everything is going by her plan, maybe it´s little fast forward, but how can she wait, where you’re basically on her bed.
Amber looks at you with a hint of exitment in her eyes and admits. "I've been wanting to do this for a long time, you know? I've imagined this scenario so many times."
You feel a mixture of surprise and curiosity as you respond. "Really? I had no idea."
A faint blush colors her cheeks as she continues, "You never do, pretty girl."
You don´t notice the nickname, but only the feeling that it make you feel as she said those words. So you quickly move close to her again, blushing like a crazy as you already miss her lips on yours.
What could these lips do? Oh my god-
"What?" Amber tilts her head, "If you want anything, ask for it. Didn´t they learn this in school?" There she is, the mocking Amber you thought you hate, but your body says otherwise. You have to clench your thigs, to get at least a little friction. Because Amber, she´s looking at you with her dark eyes and you´re are positive if she says few sententes it could make you come right at the spot.
"Nothing." You mumble as you look away.
"Oh, okay. Then I guess, we can go back to studying-" You cut Amber off, pretty harshly, that was suprising to both of you.
"No! I don´t want to study..." You´re still looking down, knowing if you look up, you´d met her gaze.
"No? So what do you want to do?" By her voice, you can tell she has the smirk on her face.
"You know..."
"I don´t, (Y/N)." She knows. "You mean you want to fuck?" She chuckles.
This made you look at her. "Amber!" And that was a mistake. "I- uh"
"Hm? Say it and I´ll give you what you want." Her hand is caressing your cheek, slowly going up and down.
"F-fuck." You mumble out.
"Whole sentence, pretty girl. Come on." Her hand slowly squeezes your neck, which makes it hard for you to think.
"I want to fuck." You say very quietly, but Amber let it be.
"You forgetting something." She whispers in your ear.
When did she get so close?
You clench your thighs together again, now one Amber´s hand slipping into your pants.
"I want to fuck, please." You clear your throat as you can feel her hand pushing your drenched panties to the side. "I want you to fuck me, please. Pretty please, Amber!" You buck your hips towards her. "Fuck, please- I need you."
"You need me?" She looks up at you.
You nod. "Yes! I do! So much- a lot. I need only you, please." Your words were so pathetic, but Amber is loving every one you let out.
"You do need me, only me. That´s right. I´m keeping you safe, sweetheart. I always had." She wispers in your ear as her finger is slowly playing with your sensitive clit.
You don´t pay attention to her words, at all. But her finger is doing the gods work. She´s speeding up, but it´s still not enough.
"M-more..." you whine. "Please, im begging you, Amber. I really need it." You quickly add.
"Do you think you deserve it?"
You stay quiet, only letting few whines out, you don´t really know how to asnwer to that.
"Of course you do, my precious girl. Aw, you want more fingers, two? Oh three? We want three fingers? Okay." Amber nods as she whisper in your ear, you don´t control your hips anymore, it´s just going by itself at this point.
As Amber insert three fingers into you, it´s so easy as your wetness is dripping by your thighs. It takes you less than two minutes and you´re feeling like coming.
"Amber!" Is the only thing you are capable of yelling.
"I know, I know, shhhh" she shushes you. "I got you, I do."
"Please, can I? I- please!" You close your eyes, hoping she would say yes.
"Look at those pretty manners, of course. Go ahead my pretty girl." She smirks knowing this is better than she ever imaginated. Way better.
As you ride your high Amber just hold you close. Not ever letting you go and making sure all the danger in the world is secured by her and only her. It was like this before and it will be like that forever.
Thank you for reading!!!!
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