#there was a chow chow onboard

[despazito]

objectively funny that a pekingese survived the titanic

[f1shbonez]

💧 Water Under The Bridge 💧

So far the hero shtick was busier and less glamorous than Jinx had imagined. 

Save half of Zaun, nearly die (again), fight off the Big Bad hurting captives and enforcers… One good thing just snowballed to another, then another, until people were looking at you funny for taking a second to catch your breath. To think, under twenty-four measly hours ago she’d almost been dog-chow. It wasn’t like she’d planned to die, clawed to pieces in the deepest depths of Stillwater Hold…but walking free coming home to Isha felt surreal in its aftermath. Like she’d died without knowing and gone someplace else, just for a moment. 

…Maybe it was a good thing she hadn’t died, Jinx found herself thinking in the aftermath of their reunion. Something about the force the kid had collided into her, the gross snivelling- hell, even the way Sevika was keeping her stony gaze averted…would her sacrifice have even been worth it, to them? To anyone? 

Jinx wasn’t supposed to die in the belly of Stillwater. 

Not while The Lanes needed their symbol. 

Not while Vander needed her.

Not while Isha needed her. 

Some issues were bigger than yesterday’s ghosts. Helping people…it hadn’t been so bad, even when she hadn’t cared- or meant to. Gentle fingers teased through Isha’s freshly coloured hair, weaving strands into a neat braid- bringing order to chaos. It felt strange, almost undeserved, seeing how upset the kid had been at the prospect of losing her. 

It was nothing that a morning of nail polish and paint couldn’t stir a little life back into. Was this how Vander had felt, muddling through with a bite-sized Powder all those years ago? A fond smile settled across Jinx’s lips as she worked, seeing every hint of life and security flood back into the child with every hair tie and brush of colour. 

“There,” Jinx murmured, propping a hand on her hip as she stood back to admire the transformation. She’d humoured the requests for blue hair, a little face paint…the basics. But the full Jinxer look? Well, truthfully, before today it had felt a little over the top. 

But it made the kid happy. 

Adorned with her own body paint (tattoos and all), mini blue braids, Jinx-inspired clothes cobbled together from scraps and a couple of smoke bombs, Isha was grinning again. 

It was like looking at Powder. But happier. 

A Powder that believed in herself. 

A Powder that everyone else could believe in, too. 

Sevika’s plan to palm her off to the Firelights had done a number on the kid’s spirits. But the New Plan- the killing two bugs with one boot plan- was one that Isha was quick to jump onboard with. She was keen to be busy again. Keen to be helpful. Jinx could understand that.

The drop point was simple, two blocks west of the lower markets- not far from the very street Isha had plummeted into her life for the very first time. This was where Sevika had planned to hand her over? Hmph. Jinx tasted the irony for a moment as she settled into place, removed from sight in a large shattered ventilation pipe above. This wasn’t the way their jobs usually went. Usually, Isha was the one who played stealth. Not today. Fondly, Jinx watched as the kid came face to face with the familiar shape trudging to the drop point. Mask off. No buddies. Wow, Ekko really was whipped when it came to kids, huh? With a soundless huff, Jinx shook her head, picking at some of the blue paint from around her fingers, blind to the irony. 

“And here I was thinking you weren’t gonna show up.” Jinx’s tell-tale voice drawled lazily from the pipe above, just at the point where Isha had started to look uncomfortable at the prospect of going anywhere with their visitor. Sure, they’d gotten here early to allow time to get into position, but Ekko had been late. Heh. Some things never changed.

Wow. The acoustics in here were great. Very dramatic.

As though the echo of her voice above would be difficult to triangulate, Jinx popped her head out from the mouth of the pipe- a carefree signal to mark her cross-legged vantage point. 

Look- it’s me- hi! Here I am!

“Long time no see, Ekko.”

[simplegenius042]

The Repost on Fallout Casting for Megumi Fushiguccicakes for Jujutsu Kaisen Abridged react fic

"I like gigantic, heaving sophistication. Sopping wet tenderness! And a big! Fat!! Gaping sense of compassion!!!" - Megumi Fushiguro, Episode 5 JJK Abridged (by The Schmuck Squad).

As stated in the first Megumi Fushiguro casting poll post here, the cast options will only include the characters who were in the tie. It is up to you to break this tie once and for all by voting for one of the Fallout characters below:

Reasons To Why I Believe These Characters Should Be Casted listed below the cut:

Alph Dolen (my Fallout 3 Lone Wanderer OC, faceclaim Sam Blackensee) -> He's got daddy issues.

Rose of Sharon Cassidy/"Cass" (a caravan owner from Fallout New Vegas before the Van Graffs and the Crimson Caravan worked together to destroy it, Cass drunk her sorrows away at an NCR Mojave outpost, until Ryder showed up to get her contract, though managed to barter her way into getting Cass to give up her caravan name but ensuring she still gets the opportunity to start again. Impressed, Cass journeys with Ryder to New Vegas to find Benny, and Ryder helps her find justice and learn to live. Has a heart condition inherited by her father, John Cassidy) -> Cass has a father who abandoned her, like Toji did to Megumi, and her sarcasm bites.

Danse (from Fallout 4, a loyal Paladin in Maxson's chapter of the Brotherhood of Steel, helps Nate get onboard the Prydwen and meet Maxson, a capable ally who warms up to Nate, despite his xenophobic beliefs, has a crisis after finding out his entire life has been a lie when discovering he was a synth the whole time and the group who gave him purpose have turned their back on him. Nate though doesn't give up on him and gets him out of the BoS without being killed, and gives him a place amongst the Minutemen, which Danse was greatly appreciative and grateful for. It's a long journey, but he is letting go of the hatred he had towards others and himself) -> Danse's sarcasm would probably be confusing. Also man understands the importance of BROtherhood, coming from the Brotherhood of Steel. Spends more time getting stronger to avenge his teammates than looking to get hitched.

Miria (from Fallout 2, Finidy's wife after both were caught in the act by Miria's father, Grisham, causing a shotgun wedding, and throughout their journey together they become closer and Miria becomes a rather cool fighter, unlike in canon but the mods are impressive) -> Perhaps the least "Megumi" like person here, but she would call someone out for being stupid probably (she's had to deal with Davin after all).

I've also created and will continue to update (until the first set of cast polling is done) a Master List for the poll results of the casted winners. You can find it right here.

You can find my Fallout OC profiles Master List right here, which also includes a link to the original post where I pitched my react fic idea. Anyway, hope you enjoyed this, chow!

[belost-the-watcher]

🌸 for Qessyn :3

SEND 🌸 FOR THREE THINGS MY MUSE LIKES ABOUT YOURS.

"Aw man my buddy Qessyn.

Nobody can take a pie to the face like her. WHAM- maximum coverage! And she never seems to mind that much. At least she's never yelled at me anyway. That's the best kind of person. Somebody you can mess with a little bit and doesn't get mad at you.

Then there's the fact that she's always up for doing shit. Want to go to the rec room? She's on her way. Hanging out in the chow hall? Yeah she could probably eat. Want to watch a movie? She knows like... twenty that just came out.

And then there's the fact that she's just.. nice. Everybody's got a million excuses to be pissed off around here or to try and go up in the pecking order. But Qessyn's just there to hang out, have some fun, and help people out if she can. Seriously. Life on the ship is a lot better when she's onboard."

[thebirdandthebee]

Easy As

A Carmen Berzatto Universe

Vanessa Monaghan is the breath of fresh air that Carmen had been gasping for.

This was a request from my inbox, thank you for submitting!

Page 8: Salt n Vinegar

There were few thing better than coming over to Vanessa’s after a long day at the restaurant to see her laid out on the couch, a few candles lit, and the living room lights dimmed lowly.

She was scrolling on her phone, dressed in his sweatpants and one of her shirts, an open beer on the coffee table and a half-eaten bag of salt and vinegar chips.

“Carm?” She poked her head up over the back of the couch.

“Hi,” he greeted, stepping in, dropping his backpack and leaning over, kissing her. “Mm, vinegar.”

“Did you bring the goods?” She asked, eyeing his empty hands.

“Yeah, yeah, two beefs, no peppers, just onions,” he rattled off, showing her the brown paper bag.

“Actually three beefs if you think about it,” she winked, making him roll his eyes but blush nonetheless. “Get over here, I’m tryna sit in your lap,” she insisted. Carmen dropped his coat, running his hands through his hair. He managed to wash up pretty well at the restaurant before heading over to Vanessa’s, hating the smell that clung to his skin and clothes from time to time.

He crowded into her personal space, tucking her between his legs as he threw his feet up on the ottoman.

“How was your day?” She asked, unwrapping both of their sandwiches carefully, tucking the ends into the foil and napkins.

“Long, but good,” he shrugged. “We got slammed for lunch and we sold out our Thanksgiving to-go meals,” he listed off. “Next week Syd is hosting a pairing class and the food and wine writer from the Trib is coming.”

“Babe, that’s great!” She smiled, leaning back and kissing the underside of his jaw. “Does that mean you have the night off?” She asked.

“The night and the next morning,” he grinned. He slid his hand under the hem of her T-shirt, just tucking his fingertips into the waistband of his sweats. He didn’t realize how much of a skin-to-skin contact person he was until he got together with Vanessa. Now, it seemed foreign to be the same room and not have a hand on her in some form. “How was your day?” He picked up the beer she’d cracked open for him.

“Good, our intern class for this semester is winding down which is hard, but five of them have jobs lined up and we offered to my favorite one,” she smiled. “Ben, he’s a cutie and he works super hard. Next week we’re onboarding a new client, another restaurant,” she wiggled her eyebrows.

“Anybody I know?” he asked.

“Duck Wok, it’s a family place that’s opening up a second location,” she explained. “Food is really good but their branding and physical spaces need some help.”

She settled into his lap, chowing down on her sandwich as Carm ate his, and they both became enraptured in scrolling through the Tik Tok videos on her phone.

Half an hour had passed and she was still nibbling away at her chips.

Carm snagged a few himself, popping them in his mouth.

“I honestly don’t think I’ve ever seen you eat salt and vinegar chips,” he said, having a pretty good landscape of her snack storage at most times. He rarely ate a complete meal at home, but would rather ransack her pantry to down as many calories as he could before tucking into bed.

“I know, I haven’t had them in forever,” she agreed, scrolling. “I literally only ever crave them when I’m on my period – that and Swedish fish, but it’s been a while,” she shrugged.

The two returned to scrolling on her phone and she took another sip of beer.

A beat passed.

“…couldn’t be that long.” Carmen said, his mind inching forward at a snail’s pace.

Vanessa was silent, her mind, however, was whizzing by like an F1 race.

“It couldn’t have been that long, Vanessa,” Carmen said, not realizing he was repeating himself. “Because it happens every month,” he concluded in a scholarly manner.

Another beat passed.

“Vanessa?” he cleared his throat.

“Carmen,” her voice felt robotic and she dropped her hand, looking ahead at the wall in front of her. How long had it been? Vanessa meticulously got her period at the start of the month – she and her college roommates always joked that Aunt Flow came just in time to pay rent. It had been that way for years.

So did she get her period in October or not?

The she remembered the 48 hours of sex she and Carmen had over Halloweekend, with her winning The Bear’s costume contest when she dressed up as Carmy (it was very easy for her to source the look).

She hadn’t had her period since September. It was now November 8th.

“Carmen, we need to get a CVS now,” she said, sitting up fully and looking back at him with a wild expression. They jumped off the couch at the same time, the bag of chips flying in the air. He shoved his feet into his Crocs faster than she could get her boots on and twenty seconds later, they were wringing their hands in the building elevator.

Not much was communicated, but when the elevator doors dinged open, they set off toward the front of the building like they were being chased by Michael Meyers. Fortunately for them, there was a CVS just two blocks away settled between a Jersey Mike’s and a T-Mobile store.

“Fuck, which one do we get?” Carmen asked, holding up a ClearBlue and a First Response.

“Both, get them both,” Vanessa insisted, already chugging a giant Evian she’d pulled from the cooler. “I want one with words and one with lines,” she explained. Carmen swiped his cared through the cashier’s stand and while they didn’t run home the same way they ran to CVS, they certainly power walked.

Carmen sat on the edge of the bathtub as Vanessa filled two little shot glasses, setting them on the counter.

“Okay, I gotta dip it and then put the cap back on,” she read the instructions out loud, seemingly to herself. Carmen’s heart was beating out of his chest.

Had the bathroom always been this bright? Had the grout between the floor tiles always been gold? How odd, gold grout.

He looked up at Vanessa, who still had his coat wrapped around her and watched as she completed what looked like a silly little experiment. Now, she was glowing in the bathroom. After sticking the caps back on the tests, she set them on the counter and stepped back, staring at them intently.

“Three minutes,” she explained, looking over at Carmen, who seemed a lot calmer than she felt, at least, from the outside. Vanessa set the timer on her phone.

She stepped aside him and climbed into the bathtub, drawing her knees up to her chest.

“Have we not been careful enough?” She asked, “I mean my shot is supposed to be 99% effective.”

“And we only have sex like… what? 10 times a month?” He counted out on his fingers. “Maybe more?”

“More,” Vanessa agreed with a nod. A moment of silence passed. “Fuck,” she sighed.

“I can cut out of lunch shift all together,” Carmen said diligently.

“What?” Vanessa reared her head back.

“Syd can take over lunch, I can do mornings and then you can go to the office and we can trade off in the afternoon,” he rationalized.

Vanessa was stunned, but she melted shortly. She raised herself up to sit on the ledge beside him.

“Carm, you’re such a good man,” she smiled, holding his face in her hands. “But we’re not ready for this!” She sighed, “The Bear is rolling right now and I’m hitting my stride at work… and selfishly, I want you all to myself.” She searched his face for reaction.

“Whatever you want to do, I will support you 100%,” he replied. He romanticized, just for a moment, flipping pancakes in the morning, tucking schoolwork into a little backpack and sitting on the train – two little sneakers on the ground next to his. Maybe his blue eyes and her dark hair, or her brown eyes and his curls.

But he agreed, they weren’t ready. They hadn’t even been together a year yet and he felt the same – he wanted Vanessa to himself a while longer.

“You’re gonna be such a hot dad,” she laughed. Carmen’s cheeks flushed pink.

“This was actually me trying to trap you, because you’re gonna be a fuckin’ smokin’ hot mom,” Carmen said, causing her to laugh hard enough to bring tears to her eyes – or maybe the tears were already there.

“What are we doing?” She laughed, wiping one away as it just spilled over the edge of her lashes.

The phone timer went off.

“I guess we’ll find out,” he said, looking over at the counter where the two tests seemed bigger than before.

“I’ll take one, you take the other?” She offered. The climbed out of the bath slowly.

Vanessa picked up the ClearBlue, a wave of relief washing over her body.

“Negative,” she said, holding hers up to Carmen, who was staring down at his intently.

“Honestly, I don’t know what this means,” he held up the test with a lone vertical line.

“It’s negative,” she laughed, a weight lifting from her chest.

“Oh,” he blushed.

“Thank god,” she sighed, tossing the stick in the wastebasket, Carmen’s following shortly after. She could see the mixed emotions on his face and wrapped her arms around his middle. “One day,” she said, looking up at him gently.

“One day,” he agreed, “just not today.”

[loststarsabove]

My thoughts and opinions on the slew of recent trailers and announcements that no one asked for, but I needed to process all this information. These are just my opinions so don’t hate me.

Marvel:

WandaVision - Not very interested in this and it looks a little too trippy for my taste, but might watch it anyway to see Jimmy Woo and Monica Rambeau (and Billy and Tommy?)

The Falcon and the Winter Soldier - Easily my most anticipated of Marvel’s offerings. I was disappointed that it was delayed but it looks like it will be worth the wait! The trailer was epic. It looks like an action movie. I love Sam and Bucky, and their relationship and banter. Also I can’t wait to see my girl Sharon!

Loki - Not sure what to expect from this one and the trailer did not make things any clearer, but I’m just thrilled that Loki is getting his time to shine away from the Thor franchise.

What If? - Now that I’ve seen the full trailer I am actually quite excited for this! Also the animation looks gorgeous.

Hawkeye - I am not a fan of Jeremy Renner or what they did to Clint’s character in the MCU - hopefully this series will correct some of that. However the dog is adorable, Hailee Steinfeld looks really good as Kate Bishop, and I’m interested to find out what Yelena’s role in the story will be. 

Ms. Marvel - From the brief clips we have it looks like a cute, heartwarming, and inspiring story. It has jumped to the top of my list! 

She-Hulk - I’ve hated Bruce Banner in everything after The Avengers so I hope his involvement in this show is minimal.

Moon Knight - Not interested at the moment.

Secret Invasion - I was never one of those fans who felt like this story had to be adapted for the MCU and I liked what they did with the Skrulls in Captain Marvel, but I’m 100% for it now that Samuel L. Jackson and Ben Mendelsohn are involved!

Armour Wars - Finally giving Rhodey a leading role after playing pivotal supporting roles in a gazillion movies is long overdue. Sounds like an interesting premise. Will definitely watch!

Ironheart - Not very familiar with the character so I don’t have much of an opinion at the moment. Will probably watch though.

The Guardians of the Galaxy Holiday Special - For some reason I have the feeling this is just going to be a Star Wars Holiday Special parody/rip-off.

I Am Groot - Will probably be cute.

Black Widow - I’m over it at this point. Was never really into it. Should have come out years before Endgame. Will only be watching for Yelena Belova.

Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings - Admittedly was not familiar with the character prior to the announcement. I like Michelle Yeoh and Awkwafina though, and I’m interested to see what the movie does with The Mandarin (after the disaster that was Iron Man 3). No real opinion until I see the trailer.

Eternals - Would not be interested in this at all except for the fact that I like Gemma Chan, Richard Madden, and Kit Harrington. The cast is massive and star-studded to the point of feeling bloated.

Untitled Spider-Man 4 - Not sold at all on the multiverse/spiderverse, but the previous MCU Spider-Man films are among my favourites and I thought they both sounded like crap initially. Will definitely reserve judgement until I actually see the movie. As much as I adore Tom Holland’s Peter Parker, my wish for this movie is that we see a move towards more classic Spider-Man comic elements (The Daily Bugle and Peter’s photography, a mere mention of Uncle Ben, Harry and Norman Osborn, etc.)

Doctor Strange and the Multiverse of Madness - Not really interested right now.

Thor: Love and Thunder - Will likely not be watching. An unpopular opinion but Ragnarok was my least favourite MCU movie.

Black Panther II - Right now I am just eagerly awaiting any announcement regarding their plans for where they are taking this franchise. 

Captain Marvel 2 - I loved the first movie, Brie Larson, and Carol Danvers. Kamala Khan and Monica Rambeau appearing in this makes me so happy! Hopefully Goose will be back! The Ms. Marvel tv show seems to imply that Captain Marvel is famous enough as a superhero to have merchandise, so I hope this movie explains when and how that happened (presumably during the 5 years after the snap that we didn’t see in Endgame).

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 - Very torn about this one. I really loved the first two movies, but my enthusiasm for the franchise has admittedly soured due to controversies involving certain members of the cast and crew. Will watch it, but not particularly bothered either way.

Ant-Man and The Wasp: Quantumania - I am truly upset by the decision to recast Cassie Lang, perhaps to the point of being irrational. Hopefully I get over it because I have been looking forward to this movie for so long. The plot sounds good and I am anticipating much family cuteness.

Blade - Never saw the original movies and only know the character from Spider-Man: The Animated Series.

Fantastic Four - We all knew this was inevitable. Just give me a comic accurate Susan Storm and a teenage/young adult Johnny Storm (because if we don’t get Spideytorch content then what’s the point?) and I will be happy.

Untitled Deadpool - Not the biggest Deadpool fan, but the second movie was amusing. Will probably watch out of curiosity. 

Untitled X-Men/Mutant movie - Not sure how they are going to integrate Mutants into the already very established history of the MCU. If they do go ahead with this movie I hope that it focuses on different characters from the 20th Century Fox X-Men franchise. Personally I don’t want to see Erik and Charles played by anyone else after Ian McKellan, Michael Fassbender, Patrick Stewart, and James McAvoy.

Star Wars:

Obi Wan Kenobi - We have Hayden Christensen! This is not a drill! Honestly I am so happy! He was absolutely incredible in RotS and he truly deserves all the love he’s been getting over the years. As exciting as a reunion between his Vader and Ewan’s Obi Wan will be, a tiny part of me is frustrated because I thought Episode IV implied that their encounter on the Death Star was their first encounter since Mustafar? I’m sure they will find a way to make it work, however. Deborah Chow is an amazing director. I hope they cast a young Luke :3

Andor - Definitely my most anticipated Star Wars project after Obi Wan Kenobi. Really excited to see more of life in the Rebel Alliance, and loving the sound of the “nail-biting spy thriller” angle. Glad that Genevieve O’Reilly is back as Mon Mothma. Keeping my fingers crossed for Jimmy Smits. 

The Bad Batch - The animation looks stunning. Always interested to see more of the early days of the Empire.

Ahsoka - I don’t want it

Rangers of the New Republic - Not a lot of information except that it’s “culminating in a climatic event” with other stories, which sounds ugh. Reserving judgement until we learn more and see a trailer.

Lando - Awaiting more info. No word yet on whether Donald Glover or Billy Dee Williams will be back, but we can’t go wrong if either one (or both) are involved.

The Acolyte - Sounds like it could be interesting. Glad to see other time periods in the Star Wars universe being explored.

Star Wars: Visions - Will probably watch for pretty anime animation.

A Droid Story - Sounds like it will be cute, and I love droids so will probably watch. 

Rogue Squadron - Unless it’s an adaptation of the EU Rogue Squadron, I’m not particularly interested. If we’re getting Corran Horn, Mirax Terrik, Tycho Celchu, and Wes Janson, however, then I am 100% onboard!

Untitled Taika Waititi Star Wars - Not a fan of Ragnarok as has already been established, nor did I like aspects of his episode of The Mandalorian. Can’t imagine that I will be interested.

Other:

Fate: The Winx Saga (Netflix) - This looks like a cheesy guilty pleasure at best and a dumpster fire at worst. I wish that Prince Sky’s hair was longer. W.I.T.C.H. would have translated better into live-action if they wanted to adapt a mid-2000s era cartoon.

Batwoman Season 2 (The CW) - This looks like a huge improvement from season 1. Judging from the trailer I think they made an excellent decision by bringing in Javicia Leslie. The character dynamics all look really interesting. My most anticipated CW show along with Superman and Lois.

[purplesurveys]

1159

survey by -egocentricity-

Describe the last time you...

Went swimming: It was in Nasugbu with Angela, Sofie, and Gab nearly a couple of years ago. We wanted to go to a nearby beach before the semester started, so we planned the trip at the last minute and literally just right after we enrolled for our classes.

Went on a date: It was at BGC at this nice, romantic French restaurant. Then as we headed back to the car we spotted a jazz bar that had a live band performing, so we took a detour there to have drinks and nachos.

Were hurt by someone you love: My mom says a lot of hurtful things all the time I’ve stopped keeping track of them and letting them affect me too much, but I’m sure she’s done it recently.

Did something nice for yourself: I got myself a night lamp to improve the ambience in my room and make it feel even more homey. The lamp I had before it was just something I borrowed from my parents and it had white light, so it didn’t feel the most calming. The one I have right now emits this soft yellow shade that makes me feel infinitely more relaxed.

Did something nice for someone else: I ordered KFC at like 1 AM last Wednesday because I was feeling hungry and there was nothing at home that could meet my cravings, and aside from getting orders for my parents I also got a Zinger for my delivery driver as a way to thank him and lift his spirits for working that late into the night.

Were injured: I always sport some sort of scratch or gash somewhere on my body these days from playing with Cooper. This morning I got a new wound on one of my knuckles since he was pulling on his leash way too hard when I was walking him.

Went to the hospital: I had to take blood and urine tests last May to figure out what was wrong with me since I had been sick for a week by that point. That was also during the peak of the pandemic, so there was a lot of anxiety about me catching Covid. It turned out to be a UTI, and even though that technically sucks the whole family was relieved it wasn’t Covid.

Understood something that previously confused you: I had my dad explain to me how buying and bidding for houses works. Hahaha I am sooooo not equipped to be a fully-functioning adult.

Faked sick to get out of going to class: I don’t think I ever did this. If I had wanted to skip class, I just skipped it.

Hung out with your friends: I went to Perfy’s with 7 friends shortly before it shut down for good as a result of the pandemic. We had some beer and bar chow, and to be completely frank it felt quite nice to have that one night where things felt normal again, as ignorant as it was. We vaped until we were dizzy and some of them smoked too much that the smell ended up clinging to me and my clothes, but luckily I got home when my whole family was already in their rooms so no one was able to smell me.

Met someone new: There’s this girl who recently got onboarded to one of our client brands and we started working with her about a week or two ago. She’s honestly been a bit over the place, but I’m giving her the benefit of the doubt because she’s fairly new at a particularly hectic time in her workplace. My first impression of her was that she gave such a strong UP vibe so I looked her up on Facebook, and it turns out we went to the same college and the same high school.

Did something that you were afraid to do: A couple of months ago I had a one-on-one video call organized by the CEO of my employer so that she could get to know me better. She was super nice and listened attentively to my answers to all her questions, but it was easy to tell she wanted to see what I could bring to the table and how well I could mesh with the team especially since I’ve never met her and everyone else in person, so I made sure my social game was maxed out for those 15 minutes haha.

Did something you promised you would never do: I vaped literally half an hour ago. I never expected to form a habit out of it especially after being vehemently against any form of smoking for most of my life. Not particularly proud of it but then again I’m here for a good time and not a long time lmao.

Regretted something: Lazada had this huge app-wide sale last week and their Hydro Flasks were like ₱600 cheaper, but I didn’t buy it because I was feeling stingy that day haha. Now the products are back to their normal price and they’ll probably never get to be that cheap again :( There’s another sale happening tomorrow but the discounts aren’t as big, but I’ll probably place an order this time.

Went shopping: I went to H&M last January to get Andi a late Christmas present. I asked Leigh what they would appreciate as a gift, and she told me they’d wanted to start experimenting with feminine clothes so I got them a nice black skirt and this really elegant dress (that I honestly wanted for myself). I heard they cried once they opened the paper bag, and making people cry with the gifts you get them will always be one of the best feelings ever haha.

Asked someone out/were asked out: Idk, it was 5 years ago and nothing I want to remember anymore.

Broke up with someone: I’ve never broken up with someone.

Had someone break up with you: It was terrible and the stuff of all my nightmares combined, and it happened in the middle of an already-shitty month to boot so I had little hope for myself to come out of it alive. I had everything planned and ironed out and all that was left was for me to leave. 

It’s been 7 months and I’ve never felt emotionally and mentally better and healthier.

Were heartbroken: I follow this animal rescue NGO on Facebook and they regularly post about dogs who’ve lived through awful situations and need urgent care and forever homes to live in. Fortunately the page has a wide reach and regularly gets support, and I try to donate to their bank account as often as I can.

You were angry with someone: Haven’t directed my anger towards anyone in a while.

You felt "in love" with someone: It was during the time I was still reeling over the breakup and was caught in an endless loop of still being in love with them and forcing myself to finally detach.

You wanted something unrealistic: I was at the rooftop this morning and I could feel the temperature getting warmer every hour, and when I finally couldn’t tolerate the heat and was forced to go back indoors I felt super annoyed because all I want is to live somewhere with a chilly climate all-year round hahaha UGH

You made someone angry: It was when I spilled a tiny drop of soup onto the dining table and my mom had a complete meltdown about it. After 89457843957 years of her getting mad at First World Problems I wasn’t intimidated by her anymore, but it still irked me at how something so little can piss her off so I just decided not to speak a word for the rest of the night.

You made someone's day: I hope I made my delivery driver’s night when I got him his burger as a surprise. I hold so much respect and appreciation for them considering they’ve been working very hard to get people’s goods to their doorsteps in the midst of a global pandemic.

Tried something new: When I bought my lamp it was the first time I got something to decorate my room. I usually spend all my money on food, so that was a nice change to try out.

Tried your best: I always try my best at work and to make each day more improved than the last.

Didn't try at all: A couple of nights ago I asked my dad to light up my scented candle and he challenged me to try lighting up a matchstick by myself for once. I was all primed and ready to go, but backed out at the last second :(( I told him there was a big chance I could freak out, drop the lit matchstick. and set something in the dining room (where we were) on fire, and that’s when he gave up and just lit it up himself hahaha

Got nothing for your efforts: I’d gladly refer you to my big waste of a 6-year relationship.

Had a serious talk with someone: I always have deep conversations with Andi and they’ve been about various topics over the last few months.

Told someone how you really feel: It was when Bea scheduled a quick one-on-one catch-up call with me to check up on how I was doing with work and if I was doing okay with the everyday craziness of it all. But I didn’t say anything grave; I just told her I honestly like the work we do and that it’s nice that it keeps me excited everyday, so there’s little to complain about.

Hid what you felt from someone: One of my co-workers, Denise, is honestly a little challenging to work with. I always have to pick up after her and remind her of stuff we need to do together, and even Bea has let a few comments slide between us about how difficult she can be. But considering I’m a lot newer than her and we’ve never met each other I’ve stayed quiet for now.

Took something that didn't belong to you: I got the matchbox from my parents’ room to ask one of them to light up the aforementioned scented candle I have.

Borrowed something from someone: I borrowed one of my sister’s cords the other evening to charge my vape pen.

Lost a game: This was when my orgmates and I played a couple Jeopardy games over Zoom about a month ago and I lost to Robin.

Won a game: Not sure, I don’t really play a lot of games.

Told someone you love him/her: Jo, after she shared that she tested positive for Covid.

Went on vacation: It’s been a year and a half and the world has changed a lot since then, but my family and I went to Tagaytay and Cavite for a quick weekend getaway; it was Tagaytay on Saturday then we drove to another hotel in Cavite the next day. We played Heads Up, ate Jelly Belly jellybeans, had a lot of nice food, took some walks, but then I also had to work on a Powerpoint in between because I had a presentation that was due that Monday lol.

Went on a roadtrip: Last January we drove to Tagaytay (again) for my dad’s 50th birthday. Before heading to our accommodation we had brunch at La Creperie where we happened to be seated beside Larry Gadon – bleck – and his wife. Then we headed to the condo unit where we stayed the night at, ordered a samgyupsal set, and I watched GMM’s Let’s Talk About That into the night until I fell asleep.

Flew on a plane: That would be over two years ago and it was during our vacation to Bicol. That also marks the last time I ever spoke a word to my brother, because on our way home my family got into a heated argument and he ended up slapping me in the face. I don’t tolerate physical acts of violence, and especially not from someone younger than me, so I was more than glad to cut ties with him moving forward.

Were annoyed with a family member: My mom is politically incorrect 24/7, and it grinds my gears 24/7.

Took something too far: Idk, maybe cutting off ties with Gab. A part of me wanted to reconnect at some point, once I’ve healed; but I’ve reached a point in my life where that doesn’t seem so necessary anymore. Life just works funnily sometimes, I guess. I haven’t completely cut her off; we’re still mutuals on Twitter (though she also never uses it so it barely counts), and also still Facebook friends (though I’ve unfollowed her and I’ve also blacklisted her from seeing my posts – thank god for that feature), so now it’s really just a matter of pressing some buttons and finally disconnecting for good.

Gave up too soon: I wanted to learn riding a bike during the early days of the pandemic last year, but I gave up after like two days of being unsuccessful.

Listened to a band you had not heard before: I started exploring some of BTS’ music earlier this week after weeks of just knowing Dynamite.

Judged someone: Some of the bloggers that I regularly correspond with for work, and who’ve recently added me on Facebook, have opinions I don’t necessarily agree with.

Asked a "stupid question": I ask a lot of newbie questions at work that maybe some people would consider dumb, but I’d rather get answers to do my work correctly than take guesses and end up doing the wrong thing.

Got "a stupid answer": Not sure.

Took a picture of something/someone: I recently took a photo of my work desk setup so I could show off my new pretty lamp, hahaha.

Told a lie: I told my mom my Hydro Flask is still with Angela and that I should be getting it soon, but I really lost it a few years ago and would have to buy a new one.

Told the truth: Idk I tell the truth all the time.

[eponymous-rose]

Good stuff for today!

1. Gave my first radar lecture today, which I think went over quite well! It feels very Star Trek to use phrases like “pulse modulator” and “stable local oscillator”, but I took the time to explain their meaning as intuitively as possible, and the students were following along okay! This is a really weird class in that it’s basically a series of two-week flyovers of much broader subjects, and it is a struggle to use someone else’s lecture notes, but I think there will be some fun material here that students can really dig into and apply.

2. Had a great onboarding meeting with a couple IT folks on campus who’ve decided to test-run a dedicated JupyterHub server for a handful of classes on campus in the spring. I reached out to them since I’m, you know, developing a brand-new Python class that will be offered yearly (helloooo longitudinal study of the new infrastructure’s effectiveness), and they were so friendly and enthusiastic about giving me the resources to succeed in return for my feedback. Additional little feather in my cap: other profs in the department are intrigued by this project and I’ll be able to help them get on board once we’re out of beta!

3. Dinner was a nice poke bowl with so much good stuff. SO MUCH GOOD STUFF. The kitties were going nuts over the fish smells, though, so I felt guilty enough that they got some extra fancy tuna treats as a reward for not hounding me too badly.

4. One of the folks who visited my office today was so excited by the goofy science toys (currently a circular Galileo thermometer and a solar-powered spinning globe) I keep on my little table! I really need to get back on track with decorating my office; when I first got here I very frugally decked it out with free furniture scavenged from the department’s spare storage (the table and chairs are bare-bones, but I somehow scored a convertible sitting-standing desk and a ridiculously over-the-top ergonomic chair) so I can probably justify buying things like posters and maybe a lil art and whatnot. I should also start bringing in my textbooks one boxload at a time!

5. I’m getting into the habit of quietly closing my door over the lunch hour and just relaxing, chowing down on my packed lunch, and either working on something light or watching a video. It’s nice to remember I have my own space, and while it’s sometimes tough to be on the opposite end of the building from most of the faculty (the only other prof in my corner is on a three-month field campaign right now), it does have the advantage that it’s pretty easy to score some time to myself, even in a very open-door department!

[laws-yellow-submarine]

Did you know. That I would like to hear. Everything I can about your OCs/Quasi-Self Inserts? Because Cringe Culture is dead and I love them.

First of all: THANK YOU for asking about them lol I saw the ask and I got so so excited cause I literally never stop thinking about them lol that being said, I apologize for the novel I just wrote about them lmfao I put it all under the cut (hopefully it works on mobile!), so hopefully I don’t bog down everyone’s feed.

So I don’t wanna reveal too much about Skylar (full name Valentine Skylar), cause I really do plan on actually writing the fic I planned for her (I’m just really good at procrastinating lmao), but like I said in an earlier post: she’s my bisexual disaster brain child running away from her homophobic parents and the threat of conversion therapy by impulsively deciding to sneak onto Law’s submarine when he visits her home island. I’m basing the conversion therapy stuff off of something similar in the Bloodlines series by Richelle Mead (one of my all time FAVORITES! If you like vampires, action, and romance I can’t recommend it enough! Though you should start with the first series, Vampire Academy as it introduces the world and the cast of characters and the events of that series lead directly into the Bloodlines series. I took some inspiration from Vampire Academy too for some other events in the fic as well).

Skylar is...a lot like me in personality lol she’s 5’5”, goofy, loves to laugh and sing and just generally have fun, and she’s very clumsy. She’s also got major anxiety, but it’s not something she actually has a diagnosis for (so she doesn’t know there’s a problem and can’t handle it when it flares up, she’s unprepared to deal with it). She does like to read, mostly fiction, and she likes to look at the stars, and gaze out the windows of the sub when they’re submerged. She’s very musically gifted. Part of her deal with Law for essentially free room and board is that she cooks (they don’t have a designated cook otherwise, and this way they never have to let Law back in the kitchen again), and while she’s cooking she’ll be singing so loud it carries through the pipes on the sub (almost like they have radio lmfao). She’s also impulsive; her decision to sneak onto Law’s sub was totally spur of the moment, she knew the risks, she knew exactly who’s ship she was sneaking onto (thanks to wanted posters), and that it was dangerous, but she still packed up as much of her stuff as she could, stole a TON of her parents’ money, and snuck on anyway. Law wonders a lot whether she’s just an idiot or possibly someone trying to spy on him (either for the Marines, or more sinisterly for Doflamingo. He knows the likelihood for either of these things is extremely slim, but he keeps her close so he can keep an eye on her. He can’t afford to make a mistake with that). It takes a LONG time for them to move past the “I don’t trust you” stage, and even then she’s much more invested than he is for a really long time, mostly because he’s an emotionally constipated BUTT who doesn’t like to acknowledge that he FEELS THINGS lmao

Most of her life she’s been fighting against someone else’s control; mostly her parents (she’s 21 at the start of the story but hasn’t been able to feel like a true adult until she leaves, they’ve had such a hold over her AND they’re powerful people where she lives so she HAS to leave the island completely to be free). She also experienced some of this with her girlfriend, Mimi, though not to nearly the same extreme. Mimi had big dreams of getting off their island and becoming a world famous musician, along with Skylar. Skylar just wants to travel the world, but Mimi’s loud personality manipulated her into adopting the dream of being a musician. It wasn’t malicious in any way, but usually when Mimi would say “We’re doing this” or “We don’t like that”, Skylar usually agreed. She wouldn’t speak out against it, in part due to finally feeling loved (ahh parent issues lol). About a year before the start of the story, Mimi joins the Marines as a way to start earning some money, as well as getting her foot out the door in a way (it gets her off the island, so all that’s needed is to earn enough to get settled somewhere, go back for Skylar, and then they can begin their life together). Unfortunately, her patrol ship was destroyed by a pirate crew a few months later, and she’s now MIA and presumed dead. 

Being with Law and his crew is really the first time she’s been able to try deciding things for herself, and then follow through. He’s not gonna try to push her in any direction, that’s not his business, and so there comes an extra sense of freedom with them that she’s never had before. 

Law also keeps her around because he finds out she has a roundabout connection to Doflamingo, and he thinks he can find a way to exploit that connection for information. Her parents have a very on-the-level business selling pharmaceuticals, which is what keeps them in good standing with the Marines when they come to the island (there’s no actual base set up, but there’s another close by). They ALSO have a black market business smuggling hallucinogens throughout the Grand Line, beginning to venture into the other seas as well, starting with North Blue. There’s a fruit that grows on the island called the Follia Fruit (literally Insanity in Italian) which causes strong hallucinations when eaten. They were able to get a good foot in the black market using Doflamingo’s connections, and they know HIM because they were actually formerly part of his crew (they left the crew before Law joined, so he doesn’t know them, and they left because Skylar’s grandmother was dying and leaving the entire fortune and family-run business to them, otherwise they would’ve stayed with Doffy. Skylar’s more of an object for them to use.) Skylar vaguely knows her parents have an underworld contact, she’s seen his Jolly Roger in her father’s office, near his wall safe, but she doesn’t know who he actually is. At most she’s heard mention of a “Joker” and that’s it, so Law can easily fish for information without giving up that he’s honestly using her too (he doesn’t have any reason to just be nice to her, especially since she snuck onboard before he ever met her, and that’s part of the journey; balancing his goal with the fact he’s developing feelings for the person he’s using to help achieve that goal). It’s a slooooooooow burn btw lol takes a long time for things to truly get going between them, but when it does it kinda picks up quick. It’s gonna be fun lol

Speaking of the Follia Fruit, that’s how Skylar got her devil fruit. I do NOT have a name for it yet, because I can’t find one I like that still overall fits? But essentially she can manipulate light particles (photons? Idk science stuff, whatever light is actually made of). She can use it to create a camouflage cover (it’s main use, she’s a sneaky person despite also being clumsy as hell lmfao), and that works like she’s placing a cloak over herself (like an invisibility cloak!), and she also eventually learns to create force fields of hardened light, like the light bridges in Portal 2 (it takes a lot of energy though, so it’s not nearly as easy, but it does come in handy). Whether these are all actually scientifically sound remains irrelevant, in my universe it works muahahaha (there is precedent for these powers at least, I just don’t know how it all actually works. Science is NOT my forte). She was actually trying to eat the Follia Fruit when she ate the devil fruit instead, as when consumed in a large enough dose it can be fatal (so yeah, WARNING there: her girlfriend is dead, she’s being tortured, she manages to escape at one point and decides she absolutely is NOT going back). Fortunately, she didn’t check what fruit she was eating before chowing down, and she not only lived but she gained super powers lol. She also at one point asks Law to help teach her how to fight and defend herself, which is super fun cause she’s NOT in shape lol but she does eventually learn at least basic hand to hand and how to use a blade (typically a knife or a dagger, she’s small).

Skylar also works very hard to develop her Observation Haki. I’ve always wondered if it was possible to manipulate your haki so you could be indetectable by other users, which would be extremely useful when your abilities include sneaking and camouflage. So Skylar learns how to do it, focusing more on the detection aspects of haki than any of the other uses (predicting movement). It hasn’t been shown in canon, obviously, but I think it’s feasible.

Clearly I’ve thought a lot about all this, now it’s just a matter of writing actual sentences lmao

My other main OC is Monkey D. Hazel. She’s Luffy’s big sister, older by about 4 years (so she’s older than Ace and Sabo by 1 year). She’s a good big sister lol she’s super protective, almost mothering despite not being that much older, and it drives the boys nuts (but they still love her anyway and appreciate her for it and all that. They can take care of themselves, but they know if they ever needed her to step in she would in a heartbeat). She’s not nearly as chaotic as Luffy, but she does follow him into a lot of shenanigans (usually with a shrug and a grin like “yup that’s Luffy”). She’s always wanted to help Luffy achieve his dream, and write down his adventures for future generations to read, so she stayed behind until he was ready to start on his own pirate journey.

She also totally had a thing with Ace (I know it can be kinda iffy, given their shared past and psuedo-sibling status, but I think they work well together, and given that they were 2 teens going through puberty at the same time in the same area, I think it’s extremely likely they could’ve developed feelings for each other that they didn’t necessarily fully understand at the time. I also don’t think she’d be one to participate in the sake drinking scene that the boys use to say “ok we’re brothers now”, and until she was an adult only saw Ace as a close friend that Luffy also saw as a big brother. Being that they were in the same age group, I think it’s less likely she’d see him and Sabo as brothers until they were much older. Sorry if that seems like I’m making excuses, I know not everyone is going to agree with that kind of “ship”, but I literally started shipping them on accident and now I can’t stop cause it makes sense to me that something would have happened between them, even something small). Any relationship they did have ended when Ace left to be a pirate, and with time spent apart and both growing older, Hazel’s views turn more sisterly, like “We grew up together, he’s practically my brother” (though Ace’s may or may not have stayed kind of the same. It makes for interesting conversation when they do meet again in Alabasta). When he dies, she’s absolutely devastated, and does start to wonder “what if?”, like what if she’d pursued a real relationship with him from the beginning, gone with him, could she have kept him safe, etc. It takes a very long time for her to come to terms with it, and to accept that she couldn’t have done anything to stop it, nor was it her place to try. She loses her best friend, and it does take some of the spark out of her, so she’s more reserved after the time skip.

She loses her right leg in a fight with CP9, essentially the bones gets crushed, and her new pal Franky helps whip up a cool robot leg for her in between work on the new ship. It’s got a few bells and whistles: a pistol in the kneecap, a roller blade in the bottom of the foot, and she can detach the metal plates in a way that makes her taller (if she stands on one leg lol). She thinks Franky is SUPER cool (I always hated that the girls in the series never think robots or ninjas or anything are cool, she’s not like that lmfao), and Luffy is jealous of her robot leg.

She sustained some pretty major burns to her right side at Marineford (either by Akainu when he murdered Ace; she stepped in front of Luffy, Ace stepped in front of her, the magma-arm didn’t touch her skin because it was stopped by her coat, but the heat was enough to still cause 3rd-degree burns to her arm, shoulder, and face because it’s fucking LAVA, and destroy half of her clothing; OR some other thing set on fire and burned her lol I dunno enough to say whether that’s feasible with magma but I like that version better, that it was caused in some way by Akainu). It was a question of if she’d ever be able to use her arm again, but Law’s a very good doctor (though she did threaten him when he wouldn’t let her see Luffy right away, saying with him being in critical condition they couldn’t risk an infection. She was not happy). She actually bonds slightly with Law after they escape and she’s in stable condition, cause she breaks down about what happened before he can escape (lol). In her mind she’s just lost another person she cared about (a brother-type figure, and someone she loves very much in her own way), and Luffy could very well be on his deathbed, and she can’t even see him, and the rest of their crew is who knows where, and she may lose use of her arm, and she HURTS, and it’s a lot to take in. Law keeps trying to tell her to calm down or she’ll undo everything he just did to save her, and she accuses him of being insensitive (I mean...yeah), and throws out a comment like “what you never lost anybody? Fuck off”. He glares at her, then sits and sighs, hiding his face beneath his hat. He’s silent for a while, then tells her he’s also lost a sibling. He doesn’t say anything more, doesn’t give details, but it still hits like a slap to the face, and she realizes he’s offering an olive branch by telling her that, and that hey here’s someone who knows exactly how you feel right now, don’t push away the only person who understands. They don’t bring it up again, but she does start to calm down.

The Crew: When she met Zoro she kept scolding Luffy about bossing him around, that it’s not his place to tell someone they’re joining the crew (of course he doesn’t listen), but after Zoro joins they get along really really well (she also mildly flirts with him for fun, he blushes like crazy, but it’s pretty harmless overall. Those three together is pretty chaotic on its own lol). 

She didn’t trust Nami at first, as she came out of nowhere after messing with a different pirate, so she’s wary that the girl has something up her sleeve regarding her brother, but after they defeat Arlong Hazel is extremely protective of her, and the two take care of each other (also again: mild flirting. That time spent with Ace as a teen really helped Hazel’s confidence as a flirt, but after the time skip a lot of that goes away).

Hazel and Usopp tell stories together, usually for the whole crew, and she sees him as another little brother sort of figure. Chopper is baby, she loves Chopper instantly and will beat down anyone that looks at him funny. She doesn’t flirt with Sanji, because she doesn’t like the way he falls over himself around her and doesn’t want to encourage more of it, but once he (finally) takes the hint the two have a very strong friendship. She was very wary of Robin, until Water 7/Enies Lobby, and now sees her as an older sister. Robin, for her part, and even Franky to some degree, wish that Hazel would stop trying to be the crew’s grown up, and would go have fun as a girl in her early 20’s. She does ease up once the two join the crew, but bonds with the adults a lot. She’s someone the younger crew members go to with problems, but Robin and Franky, and eventually Brook and Jinbei, are who Hazel goes to for advice.

After the 5th time of Brook asking to see her panties, she says fuck it and throws a clean pair at him, saying that’s all he gets and if he asks her one more time she WILL throw him overboard. He doesn’t bring it up again.

Jinbei actually shows her the basics of Fishman Karate on their way back to Marineford before the timeskip. She still can’t move too well, so she just watches, but she incorporates what she learns into her fighting style.

She wanted to stay with Luffy when he went to train with Rayliegh, but the old man put a stop to it right away saying she’d not only be too distracted to focus on her own training, but she’d likely coddle Luffy. It was better for them to spend some time apart anyway, for really the first time in their lives, and though she’s nervous about not being with him she agrees. Hancock ends up taking her under her wing for the time being, but only because she’s Luffy’s sister (and therefore not a threat lmfao).

As far as after the time skip, she’s mostly the same but doesn’t immediately jump into Luffy’s shenanigans, and can be more of a voice of reason when needed. At Punk Hazard, she’s the first one of the Straw Hats (besides Luffy) to trust Law and agree that they should form an alliance. She furiously hates Caesar, like she isn’t even able to be near him or his heart cause she might stab him and ruin the whole plan (you don’t mess with kids man Hazel WILL fuck you up). At Dressrosa she joins in the fight to help the Tontattas, and follows Usopp and Robin to the port under the coliseum. When she sees Sabo, she IMMEDIATELY bursts into tears and latches onto his shoulders so tight it would take a crowbar to separate them (not that he tries, he’s happy to see her too). She also scolds Robin later for not telling her, but the older woman just laughs and says “but isn’t this so much better?” It is, but Hazel won’t admit it yet lol

She doesn’t go with Luffy to Whole Cake Island, but she does end up meeting up with him and Zoro in Wano, and helps rescue O-Tama.

Potential love interests for Hazel (besides Ace) would be Zoro, Nami, or Law, but honestly she could be shipped with anyone which makes it super fun lol (if anyone read this whole thing and has ideas send them in I’d love to hear them!!)

Anyway thank you for reading this entire long ass essay about my brain children! I think about them a lot, as I’m sure you can tell lol

[madagascar-bound-stuff]

LA - Honolulu

Day 1

 We proceeded, the halt and the lame … Jim and I raced in our “his and hers” wheelchairs to our departure gate. Neither broken knee, sprained wrist nor mild concussion kept us from our appointed cruise!  My knee and wrist braces only detracted slightly from my fresh highlights and newly painted nails for the big occasion. Courtney had arranged wheelchairs and bulkhead seating for us so the trip went pretty smoothly. Then, arriving portside, we checked in and Jim, “sort of” took control of my wheelchair. We went careening past people on the block long zig-zag downhill ramp leading to the ship. He could barely hang on as our forward momentum had him moving faster than I have seen him move in at least a decade! On the uphill sections we had various people dashing to assist us as he faltered and I had visions of wheelchair tracks across his forehead as I slid backwards into the sea. We ricocheted my bad leg off elevator doors twice, hit a railing once and rammed my protruding leg into several people’s luggage before arriving safely at our cabin ... but we were aboard! We were both so exhausted we barely limped our way through the boat drill then headed straight back to the room. Too tired to go to dinner, Jim called room service several times always getting a busy signal. He hung up, looked pathetically at me and said, “Please don’t make me go get us food”. We decided to at least have a celebratory drink on the balcony as we sailed away but I had unloaded all the beer and wine out of the refrigerator to make room for his meds. I rummaged in my purse and found a mini bag of semi-stale peanuts with an expiration date of October 2019 and decided that would have to suffice until breakfast. We didn’t even finish the whole package; we were both too tired to chew... and so ended day one of our cruise to Madagascar and points beyond.

  Day 2

 Day two dawned ... eventually. I think I was too tired to sleep plus when unpacking I probably put some weight on “the leg” from time to time juggling both armloads of clothes and the ship’s roll. Today’s challenges are the petty, potty problems. My walker will not fit through the bathroom door. I know you are probably saying, “just turn it sideways.” Well, there is about an eight inch step up into the bathroom ... for those lucky enough to have never been attached to a walker ... sideways and steps don’t work. Now on the upside, just one step is doable leaving the walker outside the door in the entryway ... and once inside, who needs it? In this mini-bathroom you can easily stand on one foot in the middle of the room and just spin to reach the sink, potty or towels, never having to take a step! The shower stall does require you to hop over a small lip. However, the shower stall being only about two foot by two foot, I figure about a week aboard ship, semi-immobile, with nothing to do but eat I will have fattened up enough to just wedged myself in, thus eliminating any chance of a fall. This moving around on one leg thing is a workout. I think by the time this brace comes off, my right leg will look like the sculptured leg of a Russian gymnast. Of course my left leg may look like a string of cooked spaghetti with a knot at the knee.

 Day 3

 Jim’s wheelchair navigation has inspired me to attempt the “long” trek to food on my walker today. I felt that otherwise, no wall would go un-gouged and no toe aboard would remain unscathed. Jim, busy trying to maneuver the wheelchair, never seemed to notice people scurrying backwards, sideways or jumping straight up trying to keep their shins and toes out of harm’s way. Thus motivated, I made it “all the way” to the buffet in high rolling seas this morning … upright and on one leg. Between the absolutely crystalline weather today and making it to the chow line on my own, my mental health has greatly improved. We ate breakfast with a couple from Miami yesterday who told a story about their last cruise with a wheelchair. He said they had seas like today and his wife lost her balance and let go of his wheelchair to catch herself. The wheelchair went flying down the deck gaining speed and was grabbed at the last moment by a passing jogger just before hitting the railing.  He had visions of being flung spread eagle overboard into the sea.   Cute story to tell a lady in a wheelchair on rough seas being pushed about by a guy with a cane … perhaps that was part of my incentive to move to the walker today!

  Day 4

 Jim joined the choir. He did this on our last Princess world cruise because he was impressed with the choir director. Amazingly enough it’s the same guy. I asked about the make-up of the choir, he said, “Mostly old people”. Mostly? I have yet to see anyone onboard that wasn’t north of social security benefits by a good five years, us included. I was just curious if many men participated. Today’s mid-day announcement declared that there was to be clear sailing starting this afternoon and most of tomorrow then we would be hitting high seas. Batten down any heavy objects, secure loose articles etc. Now crossing the Drake Passage we had 40 foot swells and I don’t remember them giving us those instructions.  Barf bags have already appeared in every elevator and on every staircase.  Luckily, neither of us is prone to “mal de mare” so it could be fun.

 Day 5

We are five days into the journey … our main interest while at sea, food. Let me explain how this works. I hop my way to the elevator with the grace of a drunken kangaroo then it is up and out to the buffet. Once there, I capture the nearest seat.  Since I can’t manage the walker and carrying a tray at the same time sweet Jim goes through the line at the far end of the dining area and graciously returns with his selections.  Now I have eaten with this guy for twenty years … today he selected, especially for me, cauliflower, green peppers with cheese, and a cooked cabbage salad.  Now I admit that I don’t know what his options were but about anyone reading this would know me well enough to skip the veggies and bring me something fried, with a dinner roll and a chocolate chip cookie! And yes, I did appreciate his efforts, I am just saying, I am eating so little that I may still be able to rattle around in the aforementioned shower stall after all. I know you’re thinking “wouldn’t the dining room be easier than the buffet?” Yes, yes it would. However there is about a ten or twelve foot stretch with a gradient into the dining room. We found out during the boat drill that Jim can’t push me up that incline in my wheelchair. Alternately, I fear I might just slide down that slope with my wheeled walker. I think today however, I am sufficiently motivated to make my own food selections that I will attempt a run up pork chop hill for lunch.  Hopefully, we will just break bread together and nothing else.

Day 6

Well, that was a tempest in a teapot. I expected to get a good story or two out of the “high seas”. There were some pretty good swells but the captain slowed the ship and we just sort of floated over the swells and down though the troughs, really not bad at all. We were able to bar “hop” and get a drink or two and listen to some music and stay mostly upright the whole evening.  Lunch also turned out to be uneventful. I hopped/rolled up and down the ramp, no problem. I was so excited to be able pick and choose on my own food that I ordered every carb on the menu from bread to pasta to apple pie ala mode to make up for the lost calories. We have yet to see any land six days into the voyage.  I asked Jim, “What day of the week is this anyway?” He looked around a minute then picked up his almost empty medicine box with the days of the week labeled and replied, “Must be Saturday”. Oh how far we have fallen when we are keeping track of the days of the week by our pill boxes. Tomorrow land ho - Honolulu!

Day 7

Honolulu is probably my least favorite port in Hawaii but there is land and cell service … I don’t know which I have missed more. I think the feeling was shared by my fellow passengers as the gangplank was barely secured before people poured from this ship like water over Niagara Falls. Our last visit here, upon disembarking, people broke into three distinct lines … those taking tours, those taking the shuttle to Hilo Hattie’s at the mall and those catching the free bus to Walmart. I can tell you the Walmart line rated a picture. I haven’t seen a line like that since the Rolling Stones hit town. Jim is making a wine and toothpaste run into the city while I stay aboard and try to set up and post this blog while I have internet service. If you’re reading this then I was successful!

[melatonincycle]

Modern Love (And Where It Comes From)

Recommendation: Beige by Yoke Lore

Freud and Plato had contrasting opinions on love and its origins. I believe that it is important to discuss these opposing ideas before exploring the origins of modern love – that is to say, how modern love presents itself and makes itself known between two people.

Freud’s explanation of love was one of seuxal impulse and sublimation. For Freud, sublimation took the form of transforming the socially unacceptable, in this case sexual desire, into the socially acceptable, meaning love. This “love” is a trick in which we persuade ourselves into thinking that the sexual desire and physical pleasure we are searching for is some sort of higher emotional connection. In 2046 (dir. Wong Kar Wai, 2004), this idea manifests itself somewhat in Tak’s story while onboard the train as he tries to leave 2046. There, he believes that he falls in love with one of the train’s humanoid robots. However, he is on the train attempting to leave 2046 because that is where he lost his love. Tak is not immediately in love with this humanoid mechanical being, but rather he convinces himself that his desire for a physical replacement for the one he lost is this sort of higher emotional connection.

On the other hand, Plato’s explanation is one of this more intellectual, disembodied connection. It is less about the sexual and more about the reproduction of ideas. By transforming a sort of initial physical urge into a calling to this union with another, Plato believed that love had an overriding ultimate aim rather than a carnal origin. These ideas can also be found in 2046. Chow and Bai Ling initially begin a platonic relationship in which they agree to be “drinking buddies,” but this eventually becomes sexual. Although Chow wants their relationship to remain sexual and transactional, Bai Ling finds herself falling for Chow and wants a sort of sexual exclusivity between the two of them. For Bai Ling, the physical excitement is there, but she is determined to find something greater than just sex. 

Modern relationships, or at least relationships at this stage of my life (college, early twenties, etc.), seem to find themselves forming in two common situations. 

The first of these relationship-forming practices stems from contemporary hookup culture, in which two people engage in a purely (or at least mostly) sexual relationship while keeping emotional connection out of the picture. However, just as with Bai Ling in 2046, emotions sometimes find a way to seep into the physically transactional relationship. Assuming both parties are interested, the connection that began in the physical can stem into something more complex and emotionally fulfilling.

The second of these situations is a sort of opposite to the one I just described. It exists when two people believe that there is an initial bond between them that has transcended the physical before it has even reached that point. This is a relationship that stems from an assumed spiritual link rather than a sexual connection. Eventually, this relationship will (usually) proceed to include the embodied, pleasure-oriented form of love. Nonetheless, it begins in a search for and belief that a higher union is possible with this other person. 

How do these two situations manifest themselves? What contributes to their seemingly prolific existence in modern culture? For the first relationship form, things like dating apps (tinder, bumble, hinge) allow for immediate fulfillment of the sexual and pleasure-based urges that Freud describes. By viewing another person through only surface level characteristics, like some pictures and a 300-character-limit description of oneself, the other person is able to keep an emotional distance. A hookup stemming from a physical attraction does not mean that one has warped their desire into believing that they are in love, but a continuance and development of such a relationship may prove otherwise. These initially grounded desires warp into something that may eventually be described by the couple as love.

Moreover, the other form of connection, the one of initial emotional bond rather than sexual, finds itself manifesting in the social proximity of college. In a classroom setting, for example, one person may find themselves an intellectual attraction to another, as though the conversations held in this space designed for intellectual stimulation spark a romantic bond between two people. Is this idea aligned with Freud or Plato in terms of its love origin and ultimate destination? Arguments could be made for both. Plato may say that the bond is one of disembodied spiritual pursuit, and the classroom setting allows for this growth. Meanhwhile, Freud may argue that thinking the classroom setting allowed for a relationship formed on emotion and the intellectual before the sexual is just a mental trick or sublimation to try and convince oneself that sex is not that final goal.

Is there a right answer? It does not have to be found within Freud or Plato, although their ideas may help. These two situations I have described can be explained as sex as a means to love versus love as a means to sex. The origins are different, but does it matter? All relationships are somewhat based on desire, but is that desire always sex?

I do not believe so. I think the main issue I have with Freud’s ideas is that they often boil all aspects of humanity down to the physical and the grounded, the scientific. There is something so unappealing about all that that I almost refuse to believe it. A relationship can be purely sexual, it can be purely transcational, it can be a dishonest belief that two people are in love when it is just a desire for physical intimacy that generally comes with the confirmation of love. Nonetheless, love can stem from and continue in forms far greater than just sex. It is a major aspect of many romantic relationships, this is true, but to bring it all down to this and to use sublimation as an excuse for one finding a connection in another seems like the easy way out. How better to explain some seemingly disembodied idea and desire than with hormones? 

I cannot say that Freud is incorrect. Modern relationships, hookup culture, and college relationship culture, are confusing and terrifying. These things are also beautiful, and can lead to something that is not necessarily better but different than physical pleasure. The connection that drives two people to talk for hours on end, to listen to each other, to grow and work through difficult moments… This is not sublimation. If someone wants physical pleasure, they can find it. If someone wants a greater, more fulfilling love that encompasses some larger thing, goal, connection, something, they have to work for it. 

[one-of-us-blog]

Licence to Kill (1989)

Today Drew is forced to watch and recap 1989’s Licence to Kill, the sixteenth James Bond adventure. Bond’s goin’ rogue, baby! When a drug lord almost kills his good friend Felix Leiter, Bond takes it personally and sets out to get revenge. Will Bond need to dig two graves before setting off on this quest for vengeance?

Keep reading to find out…

Eli, it was so great to hear how much you enjoyed both parts of “Seems Like Old Times”! I agree that it was wonderful to see Dorothy again, and I’m really glad this was a positive experience for you. I’m also glad that we had some real talk about James Bond Jr., because you really saved me from falling into a rabbit hole. I had some big ambitions about tackling the whole series, but after watching those first ten episode I had the wind taken out of my sails in a major way. I love some cheesy cartoons as much as the next guy, but the idea of covering all 60 or so episodes of that show made me dread making a new post every time I thought about it. I feel like a bit of a failure for not being able to power through the whole series, but you giving me permission to abandon that little side project took a lot of weight off my shoulders. Now I’m ready to finish off the rest of the Bond movies, so let’s get to it!

Buttocks tight!

Screenplay by Michael G. Wilson & Richard Maibaum, film directed by John Glen

Bond and his good friend Felix Leiter (David Hedison) (I can’t believe we’re getting two movies in a row with Leiter in it, and this Leiter even looks a bit familiar!) are on their way to Leiter’s wedding (I wonder how Gordo will feel about his new stepmom?) when they’re snatched up by some dorks from the DEA. Turns out Leiter has moved on from the CIA and taken up a post at the DEA, and now his new friends want his help in rounding up a drug lord and all around loony Frank Sanchez (Robert Davi). Leiter only lets Bond come along as an observer, but this is Bond so naturally he’s got to get involved and also make the moves on Sanchez’s shaken and abused girlfriend Lupe (Talisa Soto). We get a brief aerial chase and we see Bond grapple down to hook Sanchez’s plane to the DEA helicopter, and with the drug lord successfully snagged Leiter and Bond are both able to parachute down to the wedding. We get a genuinely funny sight gag of some kids lifting up Leiter and Bond’s parachutes like they’re trains on wedding dresses and then we jump right into this movie’s title sequence.

Miss Gladys Knight herself belts out “Licence to Kill”, which is a solid bop, as we get some shots letting us know that a casino is going to be involved in this plot somehow. Were you worried that we wouldn’t get some silhouettes of naked ladies dancing around? Well rest easy, because the ladies are back and the same as ever.

To just about everyone’s shock, the bit we saw before the title sequence wasn’t inconsequential to the actual plot of the movie and we rejoin Sanchez as he’s being interrogated by DEA officers. Sanchez tries to bribe his way to freedom, but it seems Officer Killifer (Everett McGill), who shares a name with my sexy teen serial killer OC, can’t be bought. We jump back to that whole wedding thing, and Bond and Della (Priscilla Barnes), Leiter’s new bride, share several kisses because that’s the kind of friend to Leiter that Bond is. Bond goes to Leiter’s office and finds him talking shop with Pam Bouvier (Carey Lowell). Bond chides Leiter for working while there’s a part going outside, but Leiter’s a real dweeb and would rather talk about Sanchez than get wasted at his own reception. Killifer shows up because I guess this is more important than cracking Sanchez, and that reminds me that I really need to get to work on finishing the ending for Killifer Krisch and the Case of Maul Madness (in which Killifer visits her local mall and gets into a competition with her rival Tuffany to see who can kill the most people before closing time). Killifer leaves immediately because everything he came to tell Leiter could have been said via a telephone call and Leiter goes out to finally cut the cake.

Killifer teleports back to the DEA so he can help transport Sanchez to jail or wherever, only it seems our beloved Killifer was not as innocent as he seemed (a similarly shocking revelation took place in Killifer Krisch and the Christmas Eve-il, in which Killifer reveals to her friends Tanja and Briff that it was, in fact, she who mutilated that Salvation Army Santa) as he immediately crashes Sanchez’s transport into the ocean and has a team of scuba diving friends of his scoop the drug lord up and doggy paddle him to safety. Bond is finally leaving Leiter and Della so they can get on with their honeymoon, and Della inadvertently stirs up some bad memories by tossing Bond her garter and pointing out the gross belief that a man who catches a bride’s garter will be the next one to be married. After Bond leaves Leiter lets Della in on the whole Tracy situation which I’d honestly kind of forgotten about at this point.

Leiter and Della prepare to leave, but they’re ambushed by Sanchez’s men. Sanchez’s henchman Milton Krest (Anthony Zerbe) wants to kill Killifer and make a break for it (a similar almost-double cross took place in Killifer Krisch and the Game of Truth or Die, in which Killifer’s friend Clairna attempts to sell Killifer out in order to survive the deadly sleepover they find themselves trapped at), but Sanchez is a man of his word and won’t leave without paying Killifer the money he’s owed. Sanchez’s personal henchman Dario (Benicio del Toro in the roll no one saw coming) lets him know Leiter has arrived and Sanchez goes to greet his friend from the DEA. Della is nowhere to be seen, and Dario implies that she’s been raped and killed. Sanchez arranges for Leiter to be eaten by a shark, and we see his leg ripped off. These movies sure are fun!

Bond’s at the airport and about to leave when he finds out about Sanchez’s escape. He arrives at Leiter’s bungalow and finds Della’s dead body waiting for him. He finds Leiter horribly mangled and barely alive. Leiter’s friend Sharkey calls and Bond tells him to get help for Leiter. Leiter’s in the hospital and Sharkey’s spirit bond with his namesake lets him know that it was a shark that got Leiter. A DEA agent arrives and says their case on Sanchez is somehow caput since Sanchez had all of Leiter’s notes destroyed, but Bond says he and Sharkey will take care of this themselves. Sharkey takes Bond to Krest’s aquarium and Bond knows Killifer is lurking around. That night Bond and Sharkey (by which I mean just Bond) break into the aquarium after almost getting attacked by an inflatable shark pool toy.

Bond finds drugs hidden in some maggots that were being fed to fish, then locks a guard in the maggot pit so he can be eaten alive (a similarly gruesome death took place in Killifer Krisch and the MRSA-cre of St. Joseph Hospital, which won both a Bram Stoker Award and a Hugo). Another guard starts shooting at Bond, which results in some tanks getting smashed and some fish who ain’t never done nothin’ to nobody dying. Bond kills the guard by yanking him into a tank with an electric eel and electrocuting him, because why not get goofy from time to time? Killifer arrives and holds Bond at gunpoint and prepares to feed him to the shark that bit off most of Leiter. Sharkey manages to pop up like a whack-a-mole and knock Killifer off balance, and Bond seals the deal by tossing Bond into the tank where he’s chowed down on by the shark. I haven’t been this shocked by a character’s early death since Tuffany got killed off in Killifer Krisch and the Battle for the Gore-eria! The DEA is unhappy about Bond taking matters into his own hands, and Bond is taken to see M and his army of cats.

M tells Bond to drop the Leiter vendetta, so Bond quits. As we all know, Bond absolutely loves revenge and doesn’t think there’s anything wrong with it at all. M revokes Bond’s license to kill and demands him to turn over his weapon, but instead he beats up M’s goons and flees. Aw, shit, y’all, Bond’s gone rogue! We get a disgusting scene with Krest gearing up to rape Lupe on a boat when he’s interrupted by some goon telling him their sonar is picking up something moving toward them. Krest says it’s just a manta ray, but it’s actually Bond in a manta ray fursuit. Bond manages to infiltrate Krest’s ship and finds more drogas stashed onboard. He holds a knife to Lupe’s throat and makes her lie to Krest when he comes to ask her if she saw anyone sneak aboard. Bond sees that Sharkey’s been killed by Krest’s men, and now he’s feeling like going roguer than rogue. He kills the guy that killed Sharkey with a harpoon and steals the man’s scuba gear as Krest tries to get a drug deal over with. Bond foils the deal by tearing open the bags of drugs underwater before they can get back to Krest (and presumably gets a bunch of fish high af in the process) and then after some waterskiing antics manages to get onto the plane that delivered the drugs, kill the two men onboard and fly away with about five mil.

Bond heads back to Leiter’s house and finds a disk that Sanchez’s men missed. It holds a list of informants, and the only one on the list who isn’t dead is Pam Bouvier. Bouvier had a meeting scheduled with Leiter, and Bond goes in his place. Bond barely has time to sit down before Dario arrives and joins them at their table. Bouvier plans ahead and has had a shotgun in her lap this whole time, which makes Bond’s pistol look a little inadequate. How’d she get into the bar carrying a shotgun, one might ask? Who cares! A barfight breaks out and Bouvier shoots a hole in the wall so Bond can shimmy out into a speedboat. Dario shoots Bouvier in the back as she joins Bond, but she’s wearing a bullet proof vest under her tank top. Bond condescends to Bouvier about almost getting herself killed, and she correctly points out that she saved his life back there. If there’s one thing Bong hates it’s a capable woman who doesn’t need him to save her, so he’s pretty miffed. The boat runs out of gas and Bond tells Bouvier that he’s going after Sanchez. Bouvier was an Army pilot, so he hires her to fly him into Sanchez’s compound. The two haggle over money and then have sex for no damn reason (a similarly unnecessary sex scene took place in Killifer Krisch’s Fifty Shades of Gray Matter, but in my defense the whole Fifty Shades thing was in full swing at the time and my publisher was really breathing down my dick to get something hot on the market).

Back in MI6, M chides Moneypenny for making typos or something and Moneypenny puts in a call to Q Branch. Bond and Bouvier arrive in Isthmus. Bond wants Bouvier to split now that she’s flown him in, but she insists on staying and getting revenge on Sanchez. Bond deposits the stolen drug money in a bank owned by Sanchez, and later he and Bouvier visit a casino also owned by Sanchez. I knew a casino was going to turn up sooner or later, but then again casinos have been on my mind ever since I finished Killifer Krisch and the Game of Texas Stab’em, in which Killifer, Briff and Tanja visit Las Vegas only to find themselves playing for their lives as the stakes get higher and higher. Anyway, Sanchez is busy being creepy with Lupe and smooching his pet iguana when he’s informed that Bond is betting a ton of money in the casino.

Sanchez sends Lupe in to take over as Bond’s dealer. Lupe recognizes Bond, and she tells him it would be best for him if he left. Bond demands that Lupe take him to Sanchez, and he ignores her protests and drags her into an elevator while Bouvier gets drunk at the bar. Bond is allowed to meet with Sanchez and tries to get himself hired as an assassin. Bond is sent away and he and Bouvier return to the hotel, where Bond is informed that his uncle is waiting for him. Turns out his uncle is none other than Q, who tells him he’s here at Moneypenny’s request. Q has all sorts of gadgets, including a Polaroid which fires a laser and takes X-ray images of both people and pictures of people.

Q poses as Bond’s chauffer and Bond leaves Bouvier at the bar once again as he poses as a waiter to get close to Sanchez. Sanchez is meeting with an international conglomerate of drug dealers, and one of them, Kwang (Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa), insists on being shown to Sanchez’s drug production facility. Bond plans to use some Q Branch explosive toothpaste to break Sanchez’s bulletproof office windows. Bond tells Q to get lost prepares to snipe Sanchez after blowing the windows. He spots Bouvier seemingly making a deal with one of Sanchez’s men and panics. He blows the windows, but before he can take the shot he’s ambushed by two masked martial artists who knock him out and drag him to a cabin in the woods. Turns out they work for Kwang, who’s a member of the Hong Kong Police here to infiltrate Sanchez’s business. They’re joined by Fallon, an MI6 agent sent to arrest Bond.

Fallon and Kwang prepare to knock out Bond so he can be taken back to London, but Sanchez’s men have followed them and fire on the shack with a gotdamn tank. Kwang, his sidekicks and Fallon are all killed while just trying to do their jobs, but Bond survives. Bond wakes up in the heart of Sanchez’s base, and Bond says Kwang and Fallon were trying to arrest him for being an assassin or whatever. Sanchez assumes they were responsible for his windows being exploded last night, and he sends Bond and Lupe off for a tour. Lupe tells Bond he should stay put, but then she helps him escape by distracting some guards long enough for him to sneak onto a speedboat. Q and Bouvier are just chilling at the hotel when Bond bursts in, tosses Bouvier onto the bed, climbs on top of her and shoves a gun in her face while asking if she’s working for Sanchez. Bouvier explains she was trying to set up a sting in Sanchez’s office, and Bond blew all that to hell by being the big dummy he is.

Bond makes a plan involving Bouvier, Lupe and Q. He withdraws all of his money from bank and then his crack team infiltrates Krest’s ship and frames Krest for the theft of the drug money by planting the money on the ship. The money is found and Sanchez kills Krest by locking him in a decompression chamber and ramping up the pressure. Bond tells Bouvier and Q to get lost for the hundredth time and goes off on his own to get back to Sanchez’s compound before Sanchez notices he’s missing. Now that Krest is gone there’s an opening in Sanchez’s inner circle, so he invites Bond in. After Sanchez leaves Lupe lets herself in and she and Bond have sex. The next day Lupe goes to Bouvier and Q and tells them Bond needs to get the heck out of there, which is surprising to Bouvier as she assumed Bond had left the country. Lupe lets slip that she and Bond banged one out last night, and I haven’t seen a character feel so betrayed since Killifer discovered the truth behind Briff’s parentage in Killifer Krisch and the Die-NA Test of Doom.

Bouvier is pissed that Bond slept with another woman, because she’s a normal human being and that’s how you feel about that sort of thing. Q tells her that’s just how it is on this bitch of an Earth, and they plan to help Bond. Bond is taken to Sanchez drug lab, and Bond barely escapes being recognized by Dario. Bouvier plane is being worked on, so she has to hitchhike to the religious compound façade located over Sanchez’s lab. Bouvier tricks the fake cult leader working as Sanchez’s middleman into letting her tour the facility, while in the lab the process of smuggling cocaine out by dissolving it in gasoline is explained. I have seen science this faulty since Killifer went on vacation to Transylvania and wound up in a game of cat-and-mouse with a mad scientist in Killifer Krisch and the Clones of Dr. Funkenstein!

Bouvier pulls a gun on the fake cult leader and locks him up. Dario recognizes Bond, so Bond causes a distraction by lighting the lab on fire and making a break for it. He gets caught by Dario and Dario tells Sanchez Bond is an informant and Bond gets strapped to a conveyer belt headed for an in industrial shredder. Bouvier manages to sneak into the facility as it’s headed toward meltdown and shoots Dario before he can knock Bond down into the shredder. Bond tugs Dario down into the shredder instead, and we get a shot of Dario’s legs being torn apart that would make the biggest Killifer Krisch fan blush. Bouvier saves Bond for the hundredth time and the two barely escape the facility before it bows. Bouvier steals a golf cart so she and Bond can pursue Sanchez at break-neck speed. They make it to a plane Bouvier stole earlier and Bond hijacks Sanchez’s tanker full of cocaína-flavored gasoline.

Bond uses his tanker to crash a different tanker, which then gets accidentally blown up by one of Sanchez’s men with a rocket launcher. I haven’t come across vehicular mayhem like this since Killifer snuck into a monster truck derby in Killifer Krisch: Fury Road! Bond’s tanker gets its tires blown out, but luckily Bouvier arrives to spray Sanchez’s men with a cloud of Roundup. Bond’s tanker falls off a cliff, crashing into a bunch of other tankers and causing them all to blow up. Sanchez drives off in the last remaining tanker with Bond in hot pursuit. Bond puts his truck on cruise control and manages to climb onto Sanchez’s tanker. Bond turns on the tanker’s spout, causing all of the cocaine gas to spill out. Sanchez blows a hole in Bouvier’s plane’s tail with a rocket launcher, and she has to make an emergency landing. I haven’t experienced aerial drama like this since Killifer had to fight for her life against a talking bear while visiting the seaside town of Cape Suzette in Killifer Krisch: TaleSpin!

Bond and Sanchez fight while the tanker drives off a cliff. Both men are badly injured, but Sanchez gets to his feet and prepares to kill Bond with a machete. Bond stalls long enough to get a lighter that Leiter and Della gave him after their wedding (that’s right, the married couple gave this dude a gift at their wedding!) and uses it set the gasoline-soaked Sanchez ablaze. We watch a man roast alive for a minute or so while Bond scurries away and the burning Sanchez causes the last tanker to explode. Bouvier arrives in yet another truck and she drives Bond to safety.

Bond calls the one-legged Leiter, who’s conscious now I guess, and Leiter seems to be completely done grieving for his one-day bride. Bond and Leiter both presumably bond over both having wives who didn’t survive long enough for them to reach their honeymoons, then Leiter lets Bond know M has a job for him. Bond’s not interested and hangs up on his mutilated friend. There’s a big party at Sanchez’s house and Lupe puts the moves on Bond. Bond tells her to go jump off a cliff and jumps into a pool near Bouvier. He pulls Bouvier into the pool, ruining her gown, while Lupe, Lupe’s new man who’s the president or something and Q look on. Bond and Bouvier screw in the pool while an apparently sentient fish statue watches them.

The End

~~~~~

Phew, that was exhausting! Jumping from people getting limbs ripped off by sharks, torn to pieces by a shredder or roasting alive to goofy truck stunts practically gave me whiplash! I really liked Bouvier, but I wish Bond hadn’t been such a dick to her. It was fun to see so much of Q in this movie, but I wish he’d actually had a reason for being there. I know Bond going rogue is a pretty common thing nowadays, but I think this was the first time that happened so that was fun. I think this movie took itself way too seriously most of the time, and it made up for its own lack of dramatic tension with an excess of explosions and goofy stunts. Giving Bond a personal motive for going after a villain is an interesting idea, but making Sanchez a glorified drug dealer makes him seem kind of lame compared to villains who wanted to start a nuclear war or flood the planet. The treatment of Della was completely disgusting and unnecessary, and it set a pretty gross tone that never quite went away.

Overall, I give Licence to Kill QQ½ on the Five Q Scale.

Up next Eli will be covering the next two episodes of The Golden Palace, “Just a Gigolo” and “Marriage on the Rocks, with a Twist”, and after that I’ll check back in with my recap of the next James Bond romp, GoldenEye.

Until then, as always, thank you for reading, thank you for exploding and thank you for being One of Us!

[josephinebardot]

THE ULTIMATE GUIDE TO DINING ON A CRUISE WITH KIDS

The best part of a family vacation is all the new experiences you share together. But sometimes that same excitement doesn’t apply to mealtime, where new foods can be a challenge for the littlest travelers. At the Dolphin cruise in St Pete Beach FL, there are so many choices for delicious dining that every meal can be easy — even with a picky eater in tow. 

WINDJAMMER

When you’re on vacation with your family, it can be tough to find a casual, no-fuss restaurant that caters to everyone in the group. Windjammer is the perfect spot for just that. Every cruise ship in the fleet has one, and they all offer complimentary breakfast, lunch and dinner in a laid back self-serve buffet-style setting kids love.

In the mornings, you’ll find stations heaped with traditional breakfast options like eggs, bacon, yogurt, fresh fruit and cereal, plus dishes from around the world, like Italian rope sausage, sugar-dusted Berliners, and southern-style fried chicken and waffles.

On some ships, there’s even a made-to-order omelet station. There is also plenty of choices for the little ones, including traditional pancakes and waffles.

THE MAIN DINING ROOM

Like Windjammer, the Main Dining Room is another fleetwide complimentary dining option that serves breakfast, lunch and dinner with lots of variety to choose from.

While most cruises host a formal night that allows guests the option to get glammed up, the usual attire when having dinner in the Main Dining Room is resort casual — that means sun dresses, nice slacks, blouses and collared shirts. Breakfast and lunch allow for more relaxed attire.

With its sophisticated décor and personalized wait service, the atmosphere in the Main Dining Room is more upscale than the casual vibes you’ll experience at Windjammer, but it’s still a family-friendly dining option for anyone traveling with small kids.

Breakfast and lunch in the Main Dining Room both offer the choice between a self-serve buffet of classic hot and cold dishes and à la carte menu items.

The dinner menu features a rotating assortment of global selections and classic staples that don’t change, all of which are completely customizable to suit your preferences or dietary needs. And for little ones, a kids’ menu highlights easy-to-eat comfort foods like chicken tenders, burgers, pizza, spaghetti and more.

BEST BITES WHEN YOU’RE ON-THE-GO

CAFÉ PROMENADE

Café Promenade is another casual complimentary option available on all Oasis Class ships, as well as Quantum, Freedom and Voyager Class ships. Open 24 hours every day, it steals the title of ‘most convenient’ snack-spot onboard. Whether you feel like indulging in breakfast pastries with your morning cup of coffee, light sandwiches at lunch, a sweet treat or a glass of your go-to wine, you can count on Café Promenade to cater to every craving, no matter what time of day.

JOHNNY ROCKETS

At Johnny Rockets, you can treat yourself and your little ones to rich handspun milkshakes, perfectly grilled burgers, and crispy golden waffle fries served with an extra dose of quintessential Americana.

This iconic retro-inspired diner is the perfect place to stop in with the kids for a quick bite and a side of nostalgia. Johnny Rockets has a modest cover charge for lunch and dinner, and offers complimentary breakfast on Allure, Harmony, Oasis and Symphony of the Seas.

SORRENTO'S

Sometimes, nothing beats the classic simplicity of a well-made pizza — and that’s exactly what you’ll find at Sorrento’s. This popular onboard eatery elevates every slice to delicious new heights. Baked in a stone oven and topped with the freshest ingredients, the pies at Sorrento’s hit the spot whether you’re stopping by for a quick snack with your little ones in between onboard thrills, or satisfying late-night cravings after an evening spent dancing at Boleros or Club Twenty while the kids are having a blast at Adventure Ocean.

And while pizza is certainly the star attraction at Sorrento’s, you’ll also find a variety of antipasti, salads and desserts — all complimentary, of course.

PARK CAFÉ

All Oasis Class ships have a complimentary Park Café — you’ll also find it on some Radiance and Vision Class ships. In the mornings, Park Café serves cereal, sweet treats and some hot dishes. It’s also the only restaurant onboard with a full bagel station. But the real star of the show at Park Cafe is the legendary Kummelweck.

Featuring two slices of roast beef, slow roasted for 12 hours and placed on a fresh baked roll, this lunchtime sandwich has become something of a fan favorite. The restaurant also serves healthy made-to-order salads, fresh-pressed panini and deli classics.

DOG HOUSE

If you think this is your average hot dog stand, think again. A favorite among cruisers, The Dog House is all about making lip-smacking gourmet sausages packed with flavor and inspired by different places around the world — like “The Sicilian,” made with pork, garlic, oregano and Italian spices in a parmesan and cheddar baguette, “The Big Apple,” a chicken sausage blended with juicy bits of apple, and the bestselling “Wünderdog,” made in the traditional Austrian style with 100% delicate veal.

This quick and easy casual spot available on selected ships is a favorite grab-and-go dining option that’s popular among little kids, teenagers and adults. Dog House serves up specialty hot dogs and sides like sauerkraut, sautéed onions and potato salad every day for lunch and dinner, and it’s all included in your cruise fare.

EL LOCO FRESH

As far as grab-and-go dining options are concerned, El Loco Fresh is a proven hit among kids. True to its name, the all-new El Loco Fresh serves up insanely delicious Mexican fare like savory beef burritos, flavor-filled fish tacos, tasty carnitas and cheesy quesadillas — not to mention classic mole sauce, creamy and refreshing guacamole and a salsa bar that caters to all levels of spice lovers.

Open daily for lunch on Symphony and Navigator of the Seas, El Loco Fresh is a great complimentary option for explorers of all ages.

FAVORITES THE WHOLE FAMILY WILL LOVE

PLAYMAKERS SPORTS BAR & ARCADE

Playmakers Sports Bar & Arcade doesn’t just deliver on delicious food kids will love — it also offers endless hours of entertainment for adventurers in every age group. The à la carte menu spotlights game day classics like buffalo wings, sliders and the signature Playmakers Burger, which adults can pair with icy cold domestic and international drafts.

Kid-friendly options off the Pee Wee menu include cornflake-breaded chicken tenders and a juicy all-beef Home Run Hamburger that’s the perfect size for little hands and smaller appetites.

For dessert, kids can dig in to the Campfire Cookie — a warm homemade chocolate chip delight topped with gooey melted marshmallow and rich Nutella — or the massive perfect-for-sharing Touchdown Sundae, served in a mini football helmet. Once you and your squad are done chowing down, the whole family can get their game on in the arcade with a round of Skee-ball, Connect 4, Ms. Pacman or Super Mario Racing — the list goes on.

ITALIAN FAVES: JAMIE’S ITALIAN BY JAMIE OLIVER AND GIOVANNI’S KITCHEN

If you’re in the mood for homemade flavors inspired by the Mediterranean, it doesn’t get better than the two Italian dining concepts Royal Caribbean has brought to life onboard: Jamie’s Italian by Jamie Oliver and Giovanni’s Table.

Helmed by one of Britain’s most famous celebrity chefs, Jamie’s Italian serves Tuscan-inspired dishes on Harmony and Symphony of the Seas, the Royal Amplified Mariner and Navigator of the Seas, and Quantum Class ships, while Giovanni’s Table spotlights rustic trattoria-style classics on Oasis and Allure of the Seas, all Voyager and Radiance Class ships, plus several others across the fleet.

Both are smart casual specialty restaurants that offer hearty Italian comfort food like lasagna, bruschetta and homemade focaccia, antipasti and salads, and a delicious selection of pasta often served family-style so that it’s perfect for sharing.

If you’re dining with a group at Jamie’s Italian, you should definitely order the Famous Plank — a shareable app loaded with cured meats, artisanal cheeses and tart pickles.

A SWEET BONUS ON SYMPHONY OF THE SEAS

SUGAR BEACH

If you happen to be cruising onboard Symphony of the Seas or the newly amplified Navigator of the Seas and you have a sweet tooth, you’ll definitely want to check out Sugar Beach on the Boardwalk. Stocked from floor to ceiling with all kinds of creative confections and indulgent ice creams, this new addition to the Royal Caribbean roster of edible delights is a can’t miss stop for a decadent pick-me-up.

In this colorful candy oasis, both children and adults can treat themselves to tasty sweets priced by the ounce or per piece. The shop also regularly hosts family-friendly activities, like cupcake decorating classes.

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New Gold Coast experiences you absolutely must try

Most people visit Gold Coast for the sun, sand and sea. What else does the coastal city of Queensland have to offer besides pristine beaches that stretch for miles, especially when you want to take the kids along and add variety to the itinerary? Well, you’d be surprised.

Discover a whole new side to this seaside paradise as we uncover everything from buzzing new attractions, hip hangouts and outdoor adventures you won’t want to miss.

Reconnect with nature at the Sanctuary by Sirromet

Queensland’s first vineyard glamping accommodation offers the perfect getaway experience for families, couples or anyone looking to escape the stresses of everyday life.

Reconnect with nature at this tranquil bushland stay on the grounds of Sirromet Winery. You can look forward to a fabulous stay at their safari-style tents and luxury pavilions, overlooking the stunning views of Moreton Bay. Guests will be fully-immersed in the comfort and beauty of nature, and you could teach your child a few new things about nature without compromising on comfort! 

Chow down on authentic eats at Miami Marketta

Miami Marketta is Gold Coast’s hidden haven for all things gastronomic. Tucked away amidst a strip of graffiti-filled warehouses in a suburban industrial estate, the market acts as a mecca for street food and live music. Whether you’re out with your family or having a drink with your pals, the awesome vibes and friendly atmosphere is unlike any you’d find in Gold Coast.

Expose your child to the arts at this kid-friendly establishment while families eat, drink and jive to the creative mix of musical gigs, slam poetry performances and art exhibitions.

Don’t be surprised to see kids of all ages dancing at the front of the stage during live performance set on the weekends!

Mom and dads on the other hand can bond over the wide selection of local and international eats from 25 different food vendors – all in one incredible space.

https://www.miamimarketta.com/

Immerse yourself in retail bliss at Pacific Fair

Which travel itinerary would be complete without adding a shopping destination to the list? Treat yourself and the kids to a little retail therapy at the new and improved Pacific Fair Shopping Centre, which, after extensive redevelopment that completed in 2016 has since reopened with over 400 stores, each offering an expansive line-up of iconic global brands and local retailers by leading Australian designers.

Aside from fashion, the mall also offers visitors the very best in casual and upmarket dining, with more than 20 restaurants and cafés to choose from, as well as a first-class Visitor’s Lounge with luggage storage lockers, complimentary WIFI and even shower facilities for shoppers to utilise.

https://www.pacificfair.com.au/

Booze it with a view at Nineteen at The Star

Positioned 19 floors above the coastal city of Gold Coast, the opulent new dining space takes patrons on an entirely new dining experience atop the decadent rooftop bar and restaurant.

The sky-high venue takes luxury to a whole new level, with a menu of world-class dishes like the slow-cooked rock lobster bolognese and grilled Patagonian tooth fish with caramelised miso, as well as an assortment of fresh Pacific oysters and Imperial Oscietra caviar for discerning guests to feast on.  

Compliment your meal with a glass of wine, expertly paired by the restaurant’s talented sommeliers, or unwind at the uber-chic lounge bar as you indulge in a cocktail under the stars.

https://www.star.com.au/goldcoast/eat-and-drink/restaurants/nineteen-at-the-star

Hold on tight onboard the new Hypercoaster at Movie World

Dubbed the tallest, longest, fastest (and undoubtedly scariest) rollercoaster in the southern hemisphere, the DC Rivals HyperCoaster at Warner Bros. Movie World is a game-changer for Australian theme parks, reaching speeds of up to 115km/h and looping through elaborate twists and turns down a 1.4km track that’s set to excite any youngster (and terrify any parent!).

Unlike other roller coasters, the HyperCoaster will also be the first to include a non-inverted loop, giving riders the opportunity to ride the whole thing backwards, without knowing when the next drop will be! Yikes!

https://www.hypercoaster.com.au/

Fly non-stop to Gold Coast

Don’t miss these hip-swinging events and seafront celebrations! Fly non-stop from Singapore to Gold Coast 5 times weekly at $149 from basic FLY fare and $389 for ScootBiz. Promotional fares from now till 17 Jun 2018. Click HERE to book your tickets now! Terms and conditions apply.

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Oahu, Hawaii Research Journey for AIR – Episode Sixteen… When you see a ship’s hatch, it’s rather startling… or it is to anyone who knows that such a device can allow for egress and can seal a tomb. Once those levers are “dogged,” there’s no escape. It’s difficult to stand by this doorway and not feel nervous, not breathe in a little deeper. The “coffin racks” as these beds have been called. The mattresses are very thin and although I did not attempt to lie down, I could tell it was pretty much a given I’d bump body parts on the way in. I’m assuming that to be claustrophobic and a sailor rarely mixes, and by this hall photo, you better be dead thin, too. If you didn’t know your fellow sailors on the day you came aboard, one night in crew quarters and you had better be best friends. Days, weeks, months at sea…how tempers must have flared. The standard crew locker. All your worldly goods must fit inside this tiny compartment. The message you get onboard is a battle ship is a team. The individual is not present. Engines and armaments and man power fuse to create a singular floating weapon. I have no idea where you’d stow your personality at this point. The Truman Line. Your chow HQ. Grab a tray and move along, and I’m thinking you have to like beans. The Mighty Mo’s post office. From here, all hopes and dreams and love letters enter and exit. The human lifeline necessary to keep morale afloat. When I peered into this tiny room, I thought of boys who maybe had no one back home. If I had worked in this P.O., I would have written to those boys. Every sailor deserves mail. Photo of a scrubber/swabbing detail. A broomstick and a brick called a “Holystone” were the tools. And along with sea water and sand, you scrubbed with the grain the Main Deck teak boarding until a white pristine, having the feel and sheen of satin. I can attest. I knelt down to feel the boards on the Missouri, and you indeed with petting satin. If you came aboard as a scrawny ensign, I doubt you were leaving as one with this job. Continued... (at USS Missouri, Pearl Harbour, Oahu) https://www.instagram.com/p/BwV-HBMFkyQ/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1a7lozx8tqlsq

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WEEK FIVE (Dec 1 - Dec 7)

CAIRNS, QLD, AUS  //  NUSA DUA, BALI, IND

The hardest part about traveling is saying goodbye to all the amazing people you meet. However, we wouldn't be sad for long, as the warm azurine waters of the Great Barrier Reef and the mountainous forests of Ubud, Bali awaited us.  We made sure to pack lightly for our ten day trip, and the Fraser family (Caitlin's parents) were kind enough to let us leave our heavy luggage in their spare room back in Brisbane while we were away overseas. We embarked on our twenty-five hour train ride on the "Spirit of Queensland" to Cairns from Roma Street Station in Brisbane at 3:45pm. Despite the off-putting duration time, the ride was surprisingly enjoyable. We were served three complimentary hot meals, had access to onboard showers, were given free movie entertainment, and best of all, our seats reclined a full 180 degrees into comfortable sleeping pods! Before long, we found ourselves meandering through the Australian countryside where we were able to see the Glasshouse Mountains, slow winding rivers, bushland, tropical forests, salt flats, banana crops, and sugarcane fields as far as the eye could see. From our train car, we even spied several kangaroos in the shade of a gumtree!

We finally arrived at the station in Cairns at 4:30pm the following day. As luck would have it, our hostel, the Traveler's Oasis, was just across the street from where we had been dropped off. We walked over to check-in and leave our bags before heading out to explore downtown Cairns. After passing through the shops and restaurants on Shields Street, we took a dip in the Cairns Esplanade Lagoon since there are no public beaches where swimming is allowed in Cairns due mainly to jellyfish, but also because of saltwater crocodiles and sharks! After renting an underwater camera and chowing down on some fresh seafood, we called it a night since we had to be up early the next day for our date with the fishies.

We woke up on Sunday morning and walked down Spence Street to the Reef Fleet Terminal to sign in for our Great Barrier Reef voyage aboard the "OceanFree" sailboat. The tour provided a light breakfast with tea/coffee, and we departed the marina headed to the reefs nearest Green Island. As the mainland shrank into the distance, we noticed that Cairns is surrounded by lush mountains covered in tropical vegetation and sugarcane fields. After two hours, the crew anchored our vessel at the reef a few kilometers off the coast of Green Island. Beyond excited to finally explore this certified Natural Wonder of the World, we donned our snorkel gear, stinger suits, and flippers and jumped ship! We cut through the water looking like snorkel-ninjas for the next hour as we snapped photographs of various corals, schools of tropical fish, giant clams, anemones, and the vast underwater terrain. "We got no troubles, life is the bubbles under the sea!" After we'd had our fill of snorkeling, we got dropped off at Green Island and were given an hour and a half to explore the tropical oasis. We tested the crew's claim that it took only 20 minutes to walk the perimeter of the island, and swam in its warm waters while snapping photos along the way. On our return voyage back to Cairns, we indulged in complimentary wine and cheeses and sat drinking on the top deck while we spotted a pod of dolphins, three sea turtles, and two small black-tipped reef sharks. Back in the city we ate dinner on Shields Street, shopped at the Night Markets, and then retired early.

Unfortunately, we hadn't planned to stay long in Cairns as the reef was the main attraction for us. We checked out of our hostel, and walked along the shoreline on the Cairns Esplanade boardwalk drinking fresh-pressed juice and killing time before our flight that evening to Bali. Before hailing a taxi, we ducked in to a local bookstore to grab some reading material for our trip and then made our way to the airport. After a couple hour layover in Townsville, we finally arrived in Denpasar around midnight. We took a twenty minute cab ride to the Grand Aston Resort in Nusa Dua, where we were greeted with complimentary refreshment drinks and a cold towel to wipe the sweat from our brows. We decided that for the first three nights of our holiday, we would live like royalty at a first-class resort since room rates are super inexpensive in Bali. The four story resort is situated right on the beachfront of the Indian Ocean, and features a gorgeous swimming pool surrounded by Frangipanni trees (aka Plumerias), waterfalls, rock islands, and a swim-up bar. Did we mention a free breakfast buffet was also included every morning in our booking price?

We took advantage of that free breakfast buffet like true patriotic Americans, and then spent our first day at the resort lounging by the pool sipping cocktails and reading under the Indonesian sunshine. After a few hours of living it up poolside, we opted to take a bus to a local marketplace where we shopped around for souvenirs and trinkets to bring back home. When the heat and humidity became too much to withstand, we headed back to the resort for an afternoon swim before readying ourselves for a private four-course romantic meal on the sand. Unfortunately, it began to rain just before we were scheduled to eat, but we were still able to enjoy our candle-lit dinner under an awning next to the beach. The presentation was beautiful, set with candles, traditional Balinese decorations, and a floral arrangement. They even bestowed upon us fragrant Frangipanni lei's before our first course! We were exceedingly grateful for the friendly and gracious staff who made us feel special for the entire length of our stay.

Since we were advised to not drive ourselves during our stay in Bali (road laws/signage are more "suggestions" than they are requirements), the hotel concierge assisted us with hiring a driver to take us to the ancient temple of Uluwatu. While Uluwatu is not the most spectacular temple structure within Bali, it is definitely in the most picturesque location-- perched high on a sheer cliff overlooking the Indian Ocean. Before entering the temple grounds, we were asked to dress modestly (covered shoulders and knees), and wear the provided sashes around our waists to respect the Hindu culture. We were warned to pack away any glasses, hats, and jewelry because the temple is inhabited by several troops of Macaque monkey thieves! We happened upon several of them on a narrow pathway, with one chewing on some unlucky traveler's yellow flip-flop. That ain't no banana! After snapping a fair share of photographs of Uluwatu in the hottest weather we've ever experienced, our driver, Bae, took us to a nearby beach called Dreamland to cool off. After being treated to Australia's pristine beaches, we found the ones on mainland Bali to be slightly underwhelming. Although, we have heard from several Aussie pals that the best beaches in Bali are found amongst its small surrounding islands, which we unfortunately didn't have enough time to explore. We finished the night off at the resort by slipping into our floral robes, ordering room service, and watching a movie-- soaking up the luxuries at hand before heading off the following day to a much more modest lifestyle at a homestay in the mountainous region of Ubud.