#there was a LOT more

[thebreadwing]

The gays appear to be yearning again...

[simplydm]

I had a wild dream last night that had my high school crush and goodtimeswithscar mashed into one person who was trying to seduce me with a theatrical performance?

[townofcadence]

Tell me... what are you most afraid of?

Tell Me + The Truth!

"....." His jaw clenched, body tense. It takes a long minute for the answer. "...... What I am."

[deathzgf]

i had some Odd conversations with my mother today , most of Which happened to be recorded in oomf ' s discord dms . So ! here ' s the transcript no one asked for :3

me : john adams big naturals

mum :

mum : what about john adams and his big naturals ?

me : i ' m gonna bite them

mum : have you got a big enough mouth ?

me : WHAT ? HAVE I GOT A BIG ENOUGH MOUTH ?

me : HOW BIG DO YOU THINK JOHN ADAMS BIG NATURALS ARE ?

mum : well ! i ' ve heard they ' re huge

me : wheyuh ?

me : did thomas jefferson tell you that ?

me : what do you think of thomas jefferson telling king george iii that he could eat a fat dick ? ( in reference to fredrick douglass vs thomas jefferson )

mum : i ' m not sure that that was actually uh what was said

me : it did ! it did !

mum : i think that ' s someone being mischevious

me : no no no

mum : perverting history by making up stories about what was said

me :

me : wait till you find out about benjamin franklin ' s sex cult

me : if thomas jefferson has the fat dick

me : and john adams has the big naturals

me : who ' s flying the plane ?

mum : 🤓☝️ well they didn ' t have planes in those days so

me : i have a challenge for you

mum : what ' s the challenge ?

me : name one austrian who has contributed to something positive to society

mum :

me : is camille desmoulins like an archaeopteryx ?

mum : no

me : ok ok ok listen

me : federalist party vs democratic republican party

me : oiled up and booty butt naked ; who ' s winning the twerk off ?

mum :

mum : Wow

me : or would john adams big naturals win

mum :

me : federalist party vs democratic republican party vs john adams big naturals oiled up and booty butt naked who ' s winning the twerk off ?

mum : so oiled up . . . beauty butt naked

me : booty butt

mum : so in their birthday suit

me : yes

mum : and what was the final thing ?

me : who is winning the twerk off

mum : what ' s a twerk off

me :

me : where . . . where you compete to see who twerks the best

mum : is that . . . ejaculates the highest ?

me : no ? ? ?

me : actually who would ejaculate the highest

me : i feel like . . . thomas jefferson and his fat dick would win the ejaculation off

mum : right

me : but the twerk off

me : i feel like aaron burr would take that home for the democratic republican party

mum : yeah ?

me : yeah . . . but against john adams big naturals . . . ough

mum : well that sounds pretty hard to beat to be honest

me : wait wait wait would james monroe or aaron burr win the twerk off for the democratic republican party

mum : [ sings monty python ]

me : are you an annalett yuri truther

mum :

me : and look ! the reasons clear ! for the first time in a year ! john adams big naturals aren ' t here !

me : mum would you still love me if i was a liberal

mum :

me : my pretty princess 2008 john adams big naturals thomas jefferson

mum : but he ' s not a pretty princess

me : YES HE IS

mum : since when ?

me : SINCE [ starts crying ]

me : ok ok what are your thoughts on jamilton

mum : jamilton ?

me : JAMILTON

mum : who ' s that

mum : is that a crossbreed between hamilton and jefferson ?

me : ARE YOU AN ANNALETT YURI TRUTHER ?

mum : no

me , the # 1 annalett yuri truther : NO ? ?

me : are you a sewlett yuri truther

mum : no

me : ok are you a hamburr yuri truther

mum : no i ' m simple plain mum

me : do you think benjamin tallmadge is baby boy

mum : dain . i have no idea what kind of conversation we are having

me : but but but do you think benjamin tallmadge . is . baby . boy

mum : how do you think we ' re going to solve the world ' s housing problems ?

me :

me : with baby boy benjamin tallmadge

me : do you think abraham woodhull is baby boy

mum : excuse me ?

me : abraham woodhull is baby boy

mum : i don ' t even know if what you just said is a sentence or not

mum : abc

me : thomas jefferson ' s fat d

me : wait what comes after d

me : abcde E . estrogen

me : estrogen could have saved like . Everyone in the french revolution

me : estrogen could have saved camille desmoulins . estrogen could have saved louis antoine saint - just . estrogen could have saved maximilien robespierre . estrogen could not have saved georges danton . i hate danton . estrogen could have saved georges couthon . i looove couthon

me : you know what killed john laurens ?

me : the Fog

me : if the fog was british

me : i ' m britsh

mum : what do you think of antidisestablishmentarianism ?

average interaction with my mother

[luimagines]

Wait what does Mulan! Link mean

Ok! So the easiest answer is that it was based off of a dream someone had near the beginning of the blog.

Basically, it was Link but make it Mulan. Where a woman has to join the army but keep it a secret that she's a woman. And it was based off a moment where no else knew that it was actually a woman in their mist and everyone went to take a bath in the river.

It didn't remain a secret after that.

It grew after a while so that Mulan! Link had a ferret named Fluffy that was also the Fierce Deity and I think she got paired with Wars after a little bit because he would have been a lot of Shang. She stuck around for along time XD

[knockknockwhosthereartistism]

I was inspired

[moodsandtenses]

There's something hilarious about how so much subsequent media has positioned Vampires and Werewolves as, like, binary opposite entities, and then you read Dracula (1897) and realize that wolves are that guy's preferred solution to every problem. You'd say something to Dracula about "ah yes, werewolves, vampires' great eternal enemies," and he'd just be like "you mean my subcontractors?"

[canonkiller]

I just think everyone should take a moment to consider the question "what is your visual shorthand for cruelty?" and then follow it up with a critical "and who taught you that?"

specific examples include but are not limited to

why is an evil timeline character design disabled? (why do the heroes go through equally punishing battles and never lose an arm, a leg, an eye?)

why are the futuristic scifi terrorists uniformly darker skinned? (why are the heroes so much lighter?)

why is the greedy boss fat? (why are the heroes skinny?)

why is the criminal mastermind heavily scarred? (why is the brooding, traumatized hero unscathed?)

why is the predatory creep a bearded person in a dress and makeup? (why are none of the heroes trans women?)

who taught you that this is how things are?

how long do you plan on repeating it?

[sirompp]

hi. i made some images.

feel free to take them and use for whatever you may need them for. no credit required

[mythtakens]

“these characters should be mentally healthy before they get together 😌” ummm no I actually think we should smash their mental illnesses together like clumps of play-doh and see what colors it makes

[fattylime]

a study i did because i realized idk how to draw environments at all LMAO

a few people have asked, so this is a now a print <3

[inbabylontheywept]

i did wrestling in middle school. on one hand, i was actually quite good at it, which was nice. being good at any sport was a new achievement for me. on the other hand, i was bi, and i was trying very hard not to notice that i was bi, and getting folded into knots by very kind, very muscular dorks made that task somewhat difficult.

adding fire to the problem was that my parents and my grandparents wanted to watch my matches, because they were very proud that their Gangly Nerd Son was actually Sporting, and they wanted to cheer me on. which would've been sweet and all, but if there are four people you do not want there during a key part of your Burgeoning Sexual Awakening, it is your mom and your dad and your grandma and your grandpa.

right? i mean, imagine some guy's got your head in his armpit, and you're going you know, old sweat smells bad, but fresh sweat has a sort of and then you make eye contact with your grandpa in the stands and you remember you're swearing spandex so if you pop a boner people aren't just going to be able to see the outline, they're going to be able to count the veins, and the only way you will be able to restore your family's honor after that would be by moving to siberia and renouncing joy, forever. that, or lift your entire body up by your kneck then twist 180 degrees without paralyzing yourself.

it’s a lot of pressure, is what i’m saying.

still it did motivate me to win my matches really fast. because i was so tall and skinny, i was stupidly good at the double leg takedown, and then once someone was knocked down, i'd just do the half nelson and kind of flip em over for the pin. then the ref would count to three and i’d win. EZPZ.

i had one match where that went great. won in the first ten seconds, sat back down, and prepared myself for a good hour or two of doing fuck all. didn't even feel bad the parents/grandparents were gonna be bored. the matches went up from me in 5 pound increments (i was in the 115 lbs division) and it was going great until we got to the 145 lbs division. the other school's wrestler stepped onto the mat, and she turned out to be a girl so our guy flipped, because for straight guys, wrestling a girl is not a pleasant experience.

i'm not entirely unsympathetic. my experience wrestling dudes was definitely a little traumatic. but also, i dealt. guy could've dealt too. instead, he refused to wrestle, and the coach went - fine. not even worth fighting over.

so he went to the 140 pounder, and that guy said, nosir, my mom said mormons can't wrestle girls. next guy down, 135 pounder, now he knew he could pull the same card and thus did. 130 pounder, 125, both tapped out. he got to the 120 guy, and that guy was catholic, but he said he was considering being mormon, and thus would have to pass. as a precaution.

coach blew up a little at that. he said "is there anyone - anyone - on this entire goddamn team that is willing to wrestle a girl?" and then he pointed at me and said "YOU. MAT. GO."

and i'll be real, if i'd been paying more attention, i'd have pulled the mormon card too, but i'd just been putting all that audio into a buffer file because i was reading, so i was halfway across the mat before i even processed what had been said and by then it was too late to turn back.

still i had a plan. and my plan - my beautiful, perfect plan - was to do what i'd always done. tackle, flip, pin, win. sit down. read. bore my family to death. move on.

i got the first part right. she was bigger than me, but she wasn't taller. just an incredibly stout woman. god built me like a snake with glasses, just as he built her like a combat cube. the problem was the half nelson. soon as she was down, i tried hooking my arm under hers from behind and for both genders, the defense for this move is just clamping your arms really fucking tight against your sides. if you're a guy, that's whatever, but if you're a girl - especially if you're god's chosen combat cube - that pins your opponents hand right against your boob.

so, i got the hook in, she clamped, my whole arm pressed against something soft, my coach was yelling THE HALF NELSON. BABYLON! JUST FINISH IT! FINISH THE HALF NELSON! and i was just trying to press hard enough to finish, when then my brain went

...oh.

and i flipped out. of course i flipped out. i like girls, and touching a boob is an elemental experience, and i was not ready. i was not prepared. i had not committed the sacred rites. i recoiled like i'd just brushed my arm against the surface of the sun, stood up, and backed away. nobody in the room knew why i'd given up. all they saw was me, right about to win, suddenly flailing around and scrambling. so everyone started screaming at me to just get the half nelson again, and i couldn't really yell back there's a fuckin' boob in the way and it was very distressing, and the only way i could think of to make them stop was just doing it over again the right way.

so i did.

i hunkered down and prepared myself for Wrasslin' Attempt #2: The Sequel.

i knocked her down again, EZPZ. i went for the half nelson again, but she knew what i was about to do so she super clamped, and i knew she was gonna super clamp, so i wound my arm back like a pop-eye cartoon punch before swinging my arm through the gap between her bicep and her side, but the amount of time i spent winding back super signalled what i was about to to do, which gave her time to clamp even harder, which somehow redirected the entire force of the popeye punch to the bottom of her bra.

it spat out a single boob the same way an action hero might spit out one single tooth after getting a solid crack across the jaw. as if to say:

*ptooie.* "that all you got?"

i did not actually see this. my experience was that first there was an arm, then there was a bit of boob, but i was braced, i was ready, forward at all costs, tatakae motherfuckers, and then the boob went away, and i didn't know where it went but my team, and the audience, and everyone who was in front of me, they all gasped like i just kicked them in the stomach. except for my coach. he was behind me, and thus one of the four people in the room who did not see the boob. now my mom, my dad, my grandma, and my grandpa, they all got flashed but nooooooo, coach thunderbutt was behind me, and he didn't see shit so he was still yelling NOOOOOO BABYLON WHAT ARE YOU DOING JUST FINISH THE NELSON! GO FOR THE KILL! BABYLON! BABYLON!

but i did not go for the kill. i stood up and she stuffed her boob back real fast, and we just kind of circled each other awkwardly until time ran out and i won on points. that's not technically allowed, but the ref had some mercy on me.

my coach did not.

i barely had time to sit down before he strode over to the bench to chew me out.

"babylon," he said, in that very calm way people get when they're too pissed to yell. "why didn't you pin?"

and i didn't know how to say well coach, i tried, but there was a boob, and it kept getting in the way, and my mom was watching, and so was my dad, and so was his dad, and his mom, and god (like bible god) and that's a can of worms because i'm pretty sure he was already mad at me, and i'm wearing spandex, and i think i might have to move to siberia, so instead i said

"i uh. i forgot how to do the half nelson."

which is actually impossible. forgetting how to do the half nelson is like forgetting how to swallow your spit.

and he looked at me, like i was the dumbest person in the entire world, and i looked through him like i'd just survived my 250th day in a trench at verdun, and he said: fine.

fine.

but we're all going to practice it for an hour tomorrow because you forgot.

and then he left.

and my buddies had the gall to be salty about it. i got so many comments saying "dude, why didn't you just tell him the truth?" and i said "you can if you care so damn much. you could've wrestled the girl too. maybe someone else should do the hard thing today."

but they didn't. so the next day, we did an hour of half nelson drills, and i spent a decent amount of time getting thrown around the mat, and it was pleasant in exactly the way that i hated and the year after that, to the surprise of everyone but myself, i quit wrestling and joined the trivia team.

and if you want more reasons to love my mom, my grandpa joked after the match that i might have to talk to my bishop about it, and my mom told him he would be allowed to make jokes after he stood in front of a crowd of 110 people in spandex underpants while wrestling a woman that was not his wife.

he paused for almost five seconds after that. then he said: aw. hell. sorry babylon.

and i'd have preferred my apology from god, but getting it from him was pretty good too.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

License to Kitty.

[keymintt]

more public art! these fellas were printed on vinyl for the sides of a traffic cabinet

[tariah23]

White people are miserable, racist losers period. They’ve even been getting mad at Japanese people for correcting them about Yasuke as well.