#there she goes again with those taylor swift lyrics

[maryleclerc]

could you do a fic about the reader being a singer and she goes to one of luke's NHL hockey games and she is spotted there like Taylor swift was and than she writes a whole love album about her and luke

love this request, and i hope you like this 💗

LOVE SONG FOR YOU

REQUEST OPEN

PAIRING: Luke Hughes x Singer!reader

SUMMARY: After a night of supporting your boyfriend, Luke Hughes, at a New Jersey Devils game, your love for him spills over into a new album. Known for your voice and now for showing up in the stands to cheer him on, you catch the attention of fans from both your worlds. The album becomes a heartfelt reflection of your relationship, and in a playful interview with a close friend, you confirm what everyone had suspected – the album is a love letter to Luke.

WARNING: English is not my first language. Fluff, public attention, fan excitement, playful teasing, and pure romance.

Your heart pounded with excitement as you made your way to your seat, attempting to keep a low profile under a hoodie and a baseball cap. But no amount of disguise could change why you were here. You weren’t just a fan tonight, you were here to see Luke, Luke Hughes.

After a year and a half of dating, both you and Luke were used to supporting eachother from afar, you always watching his games online or catching highlights later, but tonight was different. Being here in person you could felt something electric. Your gaze stayed locked on him as he took a few warm-up laps on the ice with his teammates. Even from a distance, he looked as focused and intense as ever, radiating a quiet confidence that made your heart swell with pride.

Despite your attempt to stay under the radar, the fans around you soon began to whisper and point. Some recognized you, and you couldn’t help but smile as a few nearby Devils fans struck up casual conversation.

“Oh, so you’re a fan, huh?” a young woman in the row ahead of you said, grinning knowingly.

“Something like that,” you replied, giving her a wink.

They teased you gently, but they didn’t pry, simply enjoying the game and occasionally sharing their enthusiasm for Luke. It was heartwarming to see how loved he was by his fans, and you couldn’t help but feel an unexpected sense of camaraderie with them.

Every time Luke skated onto the ice, your eyes followed him. Each save, each play, had you holding your breath, and every victory had you clapping louder than anyone else around. There were a few moments when you caught Luke’s eye from across the rink, and though he couldn’t acknowledge you directly, the slightest hint of a smile in his eyes told you he knew you were there. In those moments, the rest of the arena seemed to fade away, leaving just the two of you in your shared world.

When the game finally ended, with the Devils claiming a hard-fought win, you could hardly contain your pride. As you left the arena, fans with quick cameras snapped photos of you smiling, and before you knew it, they were posting online, tagging you with captions like

Spotted at Luke’s game! The way she looks at him tho…

Another power couple in sports and entertainment?

You couldn’t help but chuckled at the speculation, secretly thrilled by how much people adored seeing the two of you together.

For days after the game, memories of the night still lingered in your head. The loud cheers, the crowd’s energy, the sound of his skating on the ice, the sight of Luke in his element all of it stayed with you. Back at home, you found yourself replaying it in your mind over and over again, finding bits and pieces of inspiration in each moment.

Lyrics began to pour out, each one a line in the story of your love for Luke. Some were about the thrill of watching him play, while others were softer, quieter, capturing the moments no one else saw the late-night talks, the gentle laughter, the way he’d hold you close when no one was looking.

Writing the album felt like writing a love letter, something you considered a very romantic things. You poured all of your feelings into each verse, each melody, until the album began to take shape as a reflection of your love for him. The songs were intimate and honest, capturing the magic and the reality of being in a relationship with someone whose life was as much in the spotlight as yours.

When the album was complete, you felt a mixture of excitement and nervousness. You hadn’t told Luke about it yet, wanting it to be surprise. And as the release date drew near, you could barely contain your anticipation.

When your album “Love Song for You” dropped, fans were quick to notice the clues. They dissected every lyric, analyzing lines like “the thrill of the crowd” and “the ice under your feet,” connecting them to Luke and his career. Social media erupted with theories, fans tagging both you and Luke in posts saying,

This HAS to be about him!

She’s definitely a Devils fan now!

Even Luke was taken aback when he first listened to it. He had suspected you’d been working on something special, but he hadn’t anticipated that each song would feel like a personal dedication. The two of you sat together on the couch, listening to the album as he took in each lyric. He reached over to hold your hand, his eyes full of emotion.

“This is incredible,” he said softly, his voice filled with awe. “I don’t know what to say… thank you.”

You smiled, leaning into him. “I just wanted to capture how I feel. How much I love you.”

For the next few days, social media, tiktok was flooded with reactions to the album. Fans shared clips, tagging both of you with heart emojis and comments even edits of their boyfriend, girlfriend.

A few days after the album release, you were invited to a friend’s podcast. They were well aware of your relationship with Luke and the story behind the album, but they kept things light, creating an atmosphere of fun and excitement.

After a few warm-up questions, the host leaned in with a smirk.

“So, there’s one thing everyone’s been dying to know,” they began, grinning.

“What was this album really about?”

You laughed, giving a playful shrug.

“What do you mean, ‘what was this album about?’” you replied, a twinkle in your eye. “Isn’t it too obvious?”

The host laughed, clearly delighted with your answer. “So it’s official then?” they teased, leaning back in their seat. “Our hockey star has his own singer-songwriter.”

“Absolutely,” you said, beaming.

“Every lyric, every melody, each and every single words, it’s all for him. He’s… well, he’s pretty inspiring.”

That night, you and Luke went out to celebrate, choosing a quiet, cozy restaurent where you could relax away from the public eye. As you settled into your seats at the restaurant, you both shared a laugh at the sheer amount of attention the interview had gotten.

Luke reached across the table to hold your hand, his eyes soft looking at you.

“You really didn’t have to do all that… but I’m so glad you did.”

You smiled, squeezing his hand. “I wanted everyone to know how amazing you are. You inspire me every day.”

He chuckled, a slight blush coloring his cheeks. “Well, now the whole world knows.” His voice softened. “Thank you. For every song, every word. I’m… the luckiest guy in the world.”

The two of you spent the rest of the evening lost in each other’s company, reminiscing over memories, and sharing dreams for the future, about his hockey career. By the time you left the restaurant, the street lights was already on, and as you walked hand in hand, you could felt the love and gratitude around you. You had poured your heart into an album, shared your love with the world, and celebrated a relationship that meant everything to you.

[verstappen-cult]

ATTENDING THE ERAS TOUR WITH THE BOYS | F1 GRID

★ — LANDO NORRIS (4)

lando suggests you wear matching outfits because he’s seen how everyone dress up so cool to go to the concert and he wants you both to experience what it means going to the eras tour, from start to finish. he blares all taylor’s albums while you get ready and in the car ride to the stadium, he knows probably half of the lyrics but his excitement is so cute you don’t tell him how he’s singing pretty like a devil instead of grinning like a devil.

★ — CHARLES LECLERC (16)

charles doesn’t consider himself as a huge swiftie, of course he knows a few of taylor’s songs but that’s it. however, when you asked him if he’d be your date for the concert, his high rate went up to the roof. seeing the taylor swift live? for the first time ever? and at the eras tour? he tried very hard not to show how happy and excited that made him feel and he was… not too successful. he sings with you during the concert, and happily listens to you talk about your favorite part while you drive back home.

★ — OSCAR PIASTRI (81)

when oscar bought you the tickets, he was expecting you to go with one of your friends, not to hug him and kiss him and practically scream how excited you were to attend the concert with him. oscar knows nothing about taylor swift, he’s heard a few songs because who hasn’t? so a few days before the big day you sit him in front of the tv, a power point that reads ‘all you need to know about taylor swift’ on the screen. if by the end of the presentation he goes to spotify to listen to reputation, that’s his problem. he spends the entire concert looking at you, he knows taylor is a big deal to a lot of people but he couldn’t care less when he has you smiling and shouting and looking so happy by his side.

★ — MAX VERSTAPPEN (33/1)

you and max started dating thanks to a taylor swift song, so when he learnt about the eras tour he didn’t hesitate, not for a second, and bought the tickets. it was meant to be a surprise for your birthday but he couldn’t keep the secret and told you the same night. he’s not good at keeping secrets, okay. what’s he’s also not very good at: arts and crafts, so he simply sat down on the couch, pressed play to miss americana and watched you make some friendship bracelets. his favorite was the one you made for yourself with his racing number on it. he spent such a good time at the concert, and got to trade a bunch of friendship bracelets too.

★ — ALEX ALBON (23)

alex is a swiftie thanks to you. one day he asked you who she was, the next one he was being introduced to the whole taylor swift lore. it was only fair that he stayed up all night trying to buy tickets to the eras tour with you. alex spent the weeks leading up to the concert listening to you talk about how excited you were. and if he’s honest, he was excited too. taylor is a big part of your life together and knowing that you two share it and can enjoy it together makes him feel pretty lucky.

★ — DANIEL RICCIARDO (3)

who was more excited to go to the eras tour… you or daniel? hard to say, really. he cries during all too well, even though he doesn’t admit it, he has something in his eyes right at that moment; believe him. daniel gets a lot of compliments for his outfit and goes viral, because what is a formula one driver doing at the eras tour wearing a sparkly suit? daniel doesn’t care about anything but to enjoy with you and kiss you when she sings lover. and love story. and enchanted.

★ — MICK SCHUMACHER (47)

mick is like a puppy. if you tell him something, he’ll do it right away. he can’t say no to you, not when you have those big and pretty eyes looking at him with that look that has his heart melting. mick is very nervous the day of the concert but when you ask him what’s wrong he just tells you he’s excited. you don’t ask again because next thing you know taylor’s on stage and the whole stadium is going crazy. when taylor sings ‘he knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring’ everyone around you goes crazy, and when you look to the left there he is, your boyfriend, kneeling on the ground with his pretty smile and a ring.

© VERSTAPPEN-CULT ⎯ do not repost, translate, plagiarise or claim any of my works as your own.

[skyrigel]

I’m so glad you take requests for Anthony bridgerton. I’ve been in the mood to read angst with happy endings for so looong😫 so could I request Anthony bridgerton x wife angst where they have an argument/fight because he is stressed so he takes his anger out on her so she ends up giving him the silent treatment while he basically begs for her forgiveness

Say nothing then || A.B

Pairing: Anthony bridgerton x wife!reader

Warning: hurt/angst, superstitious thoughts, Anthony doesn't think he could outlive his father. ( Happy ending and little comfort, i promise.)

Rigel's note 🪩 : Thankyou so much for requesting, absolutely heart breaking to write this one, I took inspo from book, Anthony denying love because he saw his mother going in depression when his father died and taylor swift's lyric I said, "I love you" (I said, "I love you") You say nothin' back . I hope i did justice with this one sweetheart <3

That's the way you loved Anthony, truly and completely and sometimes it was so hard to keep it in, it slipped through your lips everytime you kissed him. Pressing down in his skin and tickling his heart that was yours.

It gazed at him, dusk or dawn, ever so lovely, it scribbled down in your ink, leaving your love trailing down behind him.

When Anthony told you he would give you anything, you believed him, when he said he just wouldn't love you, you didn't.

That's not how it goes, perhaps you were naive and blinded but that, it was love that glinted in his eyes everytime he looked at you. When he would smile and reveal the book you yearned to read, hidden behind his back. When he danced more than any husband did with his wife so you didn't believe when Anthony said he wouldn't love you, that was only a matter of time.

However, there's difference between wouldn't and couldn't, Anthony was scared to love, for he knew it's a force and he would be damned if you were to be left heartbroken just like his mother, he would curse himself if he didn't wake when you would call out for him when he was dea Because Anthony was sure, he bloody knew he wouldn't be able to live past his father and in no universe he would want to see you begging, crying and slowly drifting away. Lost and sad, no.

So he wouldn't love you and he would save you from the greater grief, of getting left behind while the other is gone.

But love became too much sometimes, held too much of your heart and body and soul that it demanded to fly and then one such night, all the chains tattered and it was bleeding raw and fresh—

" I love you." You said, like you did every passing moment but oops you had said it now, in words and sound as Anthony kissed the back of your ear, it was the first time the words ever experienced by the nature, no doubt you had said it with every kiss, every touch, every gesture but this was new.

Anthony freezed above you, hands dropping whatever mischief they had in tow.

He pulled away from you in a blink of your eye and it took you a moment to realise what went wrong.

" Anthony ? Are you..you are okay honey ? " You whsipered, he didn't look at you, staring at his hands as he could see a story you couldn't.

" I.. Anthony ? " You said again because it scared you, Anthony wasn't the one to look away, all the things that scared you was nothing against the terror, the sinking gut wrenching feeling you felt when Anthony fliched at your touch and you shivered in ache. No, don't leave me. Please, please.

It was another pain to see Anthony like a stranger, like he didn't know you. He would, he promised he would know you anywhere but this, it was threatening.

" What did you say ? " You almost thought it was the voices in your head, the agony that coated the words could never be from him.

Never to you, he was drifting away with each heavy moment and the person who was at the edge of your bed, in your shared chamber, smelling like you, wasn't the person you knew.

" Anthony—" you tried, you couldn't help the choking of your throat as those eyes were fuming in rage, maybe there was love, hiding somewhere but you couldn't find it and it broke your heart. Anthony couldn't be right.

" You don't mean that ! " He was screaming, his whole body shaking as his fist slammed the mattress in fit of rage.

A strangled hiccup escaped your throat when Anthony gripped your shoulder, hard but not bruising, like he wanted to shake you out of this feeling. He couldn't.

" You don't understand, love, love, love—" he almost cried, his nose reddening, his whole face was burning.

" —its stupid ! Means nothing, does nothing, it takes away everything..." His voice tore down deep inside you, like breaking membranes and dropping vases, it could never be the same.

" You don't understand... don't say it ! You stupid woman ! " He bellowed when you worked your jaw to say something, Don't say it, I love you—

I love you, please, please, let me love you—

But just as he said it, it wasn't Anthony, it was like your mama reminding you how stupid you were, stupid, stupid girl, she would say.

Stupid woman, he had said and everything else was slowly fading, it was starting to slow down, like watching it from away, in different bodies, like you were the doorknob or the painting on the wall because you were crumbling under his touch.

Anthony mere few inches away and you wondered what he would do if you kissed him just then, would he stop this torment?

Would he pull away, back then he didn't when they were your silent ' I love you's ' instead he drank them in, tasted your love raw and wild and now refused them in sound and wave.

" What should I say Anthony ? " You were sure they never made it out, lost somewhere in void, perhaps still coiling around your cartilage but the shocked silence that echoed between the little space between you reminded you how words crawled out after all. Even those meant to be quiet. I love you.

" Say nothing then." His voice is so small that barely register and before you could, he's inhaling large gulps of air, drifting back and back and his eyes not quite meeting yours until he turned his back to you.

He was gone for the night.

Say nothing then.

He wasn't there for the breakfast.

Say nothing then.

He wasn't there the next day.

Say nothing then.

And the day next, and one that followed—

Until you reasiled you haven't said anything in days, it wasn't so bad afterall, it was, very, very bad and lonely but it was okay, as long as Anthony would come back, it should be.

It was very quiet when Anthony stumbled back, his steps shaking and vision dizzy.

He was terribly pissed. You turned the page you only half read and focused hard on the words, Anthony stripped his clothes as he climbed the bed next to you, in an attempt to kiss your forehead like he did every night.

He wasn't there to do it for days and you didn't sleep, it could surely go on, you pulled away.

Something hurt flashed through his eyes and he looked down at the sheets, chest heaving with untaken breaths.

" Good night Viscountess." He whsipered softly and You said nothing back.

Say nothing then.

You weren't sure how you did it but you managed to untangle yourself from Anthony by dawn, you slept for the first time in days and it was over with a series of dreams, each ended with you saying I love you and Anthony saying nothing back.

Silence was louder than words, it was also harsher than words.

Watching Anthony sleep was like playing we're good with him , you weren't sure if you could cry anymore than you had already.

It felt like nothing happened and it could go back to be like before, you could press your love to his skin and it wouldn't burn and leave scars.

But you didn't want that, that was something it had became unbearable, when love bled through you, it was unstoppable and you realised how you will love him enough to make it up for both of you but he wouldn't let you. He wouldn't love you either.

The hurt was visible when his hand trembled, he tried hard to catch your eye, you focused at the honey, so sweet. Anthony didn't know but it hurt you all the same. How much burden you felt in your bones when you couldn't tell him all the things you woke up with, to tell him about your dreams — nightmares now, to tell him that you hate him so much, to kiss him until he couldn't breathe and tear everything wrenched out of him, but you couldn't.

All the more heartache when Anthony brought out the third part of your beloved novel and when the smile never came on your lips, only tears that blurred your gaze so much that you turned away from him, Anthony was shattered.

It was the second day, you hadn't said anything at all, inside screaming didn't count as one. You watched ahead as the far, far away trace of green rolling grass from your balcony. It occurred to you how horizon was made, where earth met the sky and here you were, with souls of something same, whatever they were made of, and yet you and Anthony couldn't mingle.

" Isn't it beautiful ? " He looked at you like you would answer him, he hoped too much.

Say nothing then—

" Huh.." he tried to smile, it was so small.

You stared ahead because looking at Anthony only added salt to your wound, it was aggravating.

It was after some slipped moments when he spoke in a strained small voice, hurt and broken and it shivered you.

" I was so scared...still am," he said and his voice broke, a muffled cry escaped him and you looked at him, really. You wanted to wrap your arms around him and shush away every cry, every pain, every sadness.

Say nothing—

" I thought...I thought i could just keep it away, keep you safe..from me, from love—" and he was crying, not sobbing, not whimpering but crying as big warm tears steamed down his face and he dropped to his knees in front of you, hands reaching for you like moth reaching flame and you took him, held him.

Say—

" I..I..I thought.. could—" he sniffed," couldn't, i can't pretend anymore, I don't want to leave you in pain... don't want to leave you in hurt... can't can't can't keep it in." He cried more and more and more matter how much you wiped his tears, but more fell and it was then you realised, they were yours. You were crying too.

" I am sorry, I am so, so sorry for ever hurting your my sweet love—" he swallowed hard.

" Anthony.. it's okay.. it's alright." You assured him, maybe you and him could go with your love only pressed between silence and gestures and eyes and it would be enough.

But you couldn't watch him break, wouldn't and couldn't.

" I love you." He said, voice not shaking, eyes sincere behind the gleaming tears, " I love you, always had, always would." He brought your knuckles to kiss, love pressing down in your skin. It was golden in the last rays of sun.

" Anthony you don't have to say it." You understood, atleast you did. He shaked his head and smiled through his wet face.

" No, no...let me, " he exclaimed, " I love you my baby, my lady." He smiled and it reached his eyes, you giggled softly when he pressed open mouthed kisses on your hands.

" I love you, I love you and I love you." He said, " I am a fool for ever denying it, I am a fool for you my Viscountess." He inhaled, breathing after a very long time.

" I am sorry, I love you so much baby." His lip trembled and you wanted to steady them so bad.

" I love you too Anthony, truly and completely." You kissed his forehead and he melted in your touch, and you didn't know how much time ticked away with loud and whispered and blessed I love you's and that's the way he loved you, truly and completely.

--------------------------------------------------

Rigel's note 🪩 ( again) : I hope this was good, I am such a angst sucker myself<3 request through my ask box :) and can you reblog ? Please, please.

[wowevenmoreloveonearth]

You know what? I have become a gaylor sympathiser

This is going to be a long post, sorry! Please read the full post before even thinking about commenting.

Over the past few days I’ve seen a few posts on my dash about taylor swift and her fans that have left a bad taste in my mouth.

I know that a lot of people think that some fans of her are “trying to make her gay” and I just wanted to put the record straight and defend some people after actually looking at what’s going on. And I know I’m probably opening myself up for tumblr’s poor reading comprehension but before I start I’m going to say this:

I do not think taylor swift is a lesbian

Ok? Now let’s have a conversation.

First of all from what I’ve seen most of the fans who talk about Taylor swift and queerness do it from a point of literary analysis and learning queer history. This is a huge part of the community and lots of people have said that they never would have learnt so much about queer history without reading taylor swift’s works through a queer lens.

Adding on to that point, it seems a little hypocritical for the gay site which loves queer readings of books, tv shows, songs, musicals, films etc to be bullying a pretty small group of people who are mainly doing queer readings of lyrics. Especially when those people get near constant death threats. Instead of bullying these people (who don’t think or do what you think they think and do) why don’t you go outside and think “does this affect me? No. Do I agree with them? No. Am I going to cyber bully them because of this? No.”

Secondly, for the people who believe that any speculation on a real persons sexuality is 100% wrong. I used to think this too but I have changed my mind a bit about this recently after stopping and thinking about it properly. I’m not trying to change your mind at all I just want you to stop and think for a minute.

If you only get mad when speculation is queer in nature, then maybe think about that for a minute. Why is it totally wrong to think a person might be queer. We probably do it in our daily lives with people we know and they likely do it with us, back in the day that’s how queer people found each other-by speculating on sexuality. Would you be upset if you found out someone that you know thought you might be queer? I wouldn’t, maybe you would but if you would, why? Why is it terrible to think someone might be queer (this is NOT about hounding a person to admit to being queer like shawn mendes, this is just thinking in your head and on your small blog that the person will likely never see). Also this is literally the website where we talk about historical (real people) being gay even when they would have never said something to the equivalent.

An addition to this point before people start saying in the comments is that this is NOT the same situation as with kit connor. The issue there was people assuming that he was straight and taking that role away from a queer person. Speculating that he was queer was the opposite of what happened in that situation. So this is not an example of what happens when you speculate queerness.

Final things to say:

1) don’t believe every post you see with someone looking insane about taylor swift being gay, a lot of them are fake.

2) before anyone says “they should listen to real queer artists instead” most of them very much do. There’s a lot of fans of Hayley kiyoko, girl in red, Janelle monae, tegan and sara, zolita, kehlani etc.

3) there are some queer flags that are there. Sorry but there are. Hairpin drops, lavender, the ladder, flag colours, songs about women, friend of dorothy reference. Whether they are intentional is a different matter.

4) shipping real people is not what is happening for the majority of the people in the community. Also this comes back to queer vs straight again. Plenty of swifties ship taylor with men she’s been seen with and no one goes into their inboxes and sends death threats even when they are the ones making taylor swift all about the men she may or may not have dated.

5) taylor swift has never stated her sexuality. I know this may be hard to belive based off of how some people act, but it’s true. She has made vague statements which could have many meanings but she has never clearly stated anything. When gaylors get upset with taylor it is not because she said she is straight, it’s because they are getting death threats and doxxed and she seems to either be unaware of it (which is unlikely given how she seems to be a little terminally online) or she doesn’t care enough to tell her fans to stop.

6) if she does explicitly say she’s straight then there will probably be disappointment in her use of queer history and flags and her potential queer erasure (as we saw with lavender haze, with straight women describing their relationships as lavender) and centring herself in queer spaces (like the you need to calm down music video) but no one will be angry that she’s not gay. And a lot will probably be grateful that she actually explicitly stated for the record to absolve any confusion. The main issue would likely be other fans ramping up the death threats and bullying.

In conclusion: these people who do queer analysis of Taylor’s work are not trying to out her or make her gay etc. if you don’t understand it that’s fine it’s clearly not for you and you can go quite easily without seeing any of it. It’s not illegal to read works through a queer lens and if it means more people know about queer history then I think that’s a very good thing.

I changed my mind after looking at what a lot of people are actually saying rather than what people perceive them to be saying and maybe you will too?

Just be kinder to people online please and if you don’t like what people are saying block them and do not engage!

[strongheartneteyam]

I wish I could

Pairing: Neteyam Sully x female!curvy!human reader

CW: lots of fluff, angst, jealous neteyam, sexual tension, confession of feelings, heated make out session. I think that's all lol

Chapter 3

♡

Chapter 2

♡

Two days had passed. Neteyam goes to sleep at night thinking about the wonderful time he had spent with you that day. You had come over again. He always got to spend time with you because you were really close to Kiri, his adoptive sister. He was actually jealous of how much time you spent with her. But you would always come to their house to visit because of her and Tuk, so he considered himself lucky that he got to spend so much time next to you. With all that time you spent close to each other, maybe you could start seeing his qualities and see him as "mate material", like the human girls would refer to na'vi they were interested in. It came from "boyfriend material", an old human expression. He found that out when he asked Kiri what "mate material" meant and she fell to the floor laughing at him. He thought that reaction to be so dramatic but again, it was Kiri, after all. She was so goofy.

That day you guys had spent many hours together and had a great talk. You weren't as close as when you were children but you were still really good friends. He cherished every moment he had spent with you, hearing you laugh at his jokes, eating fruits together, watching the nature below as you sat at the edge of a tree next to the Sully's home, your four legs bouncing in the air as you talked about trivial things.

He fell asleep thinking about that and was woken up in the morning by Lo'ak.

"Hey, dude. Time to wake up and go train with dad. He's waiting for us outside. You know he's not that patient."

Neteyam sighed and started to rise his upper body from his mat. It seemed to weight a ton since he was so sleepy.

He went back to his normal routine as you spent some days without visiting. He always suffered when it happened. But what could he do? You already spent so much time at his parents house that if he asked you to come over more often it would be so weird.

One day he was walking through the trees and he found you, laying on the floor and listening to music with those odd devices humans had. They were called earbuds. You were always with a pair of those. Neteyam knew you loved music and that was something you two bonded over. You introduced him to music from the planet Earth. There was a song that you had shown him one day that he really liked. It was called Stairway to Heaven, by a band that lived on Earth more than a century ago, called Led Zeppelin. The melody was really beautiful and he knew you loved that song too.

He slowly walked closer to you so that he wouldn't startle you, as you could not hear him with the earbuds on. He slowly appeared at your sight when you were staring into the sky and you smiled and took your earbuds off.

"Hey! Do you wanna lay by my side?" You said, a big smile on your face

"I would love to." He said and lied close to you

You took one of your earbuds in your hand and looked at him, signaling that he could listen to music with you if he wanted to.

He took the offer and put the small device in his ear.

The song that was playing was really beautiful and he asked you what was its name.

"It's Enchanted by Taylor Swift. She was a very successful singer at her time on Earth, in the 21st century. I love this song so much."

Neteyam listened close to the lyrics that went like this:

The lingering question kept me up

2 AM, who do you love?

I wonder 'til I'm wide awake

And now I'm pacing back and forth

Wishing you were at my door

I'd open up and you would say

Hey, it was enchanting to meet you

All I know is, I was enchanted to meet you

It was almost funny how those lyrics defined how he felt about you.

"It's a really beautiful song." He said

"I love it too." You smiled at him "I understand the lyrics very well. It's hard but exciting at the same time to love someone and not know if they love you back and stay up until late thinking about them."

Neteyam was now jealous. Did you choose a mate and he didn't know? Were you courting someone and he never noticed? Or was he a human and you were talking and spending time together, as humans did instead of bringing gifts and food to their love interest like the na'vi did. It couldn't be... He wished so hard it wasn't real.

"A-are you in love with someone?" He asked you and weirdly enough you could hear the nervousness in his voice

"Hmm..." the question and the way he sounded was a surprise to you. Could it really be what you were thinking? Did the boy you love, love you back? Your heart jumped with excitement at the thought.

"I never even told Kiri about it but... I trust you can keep my secret. I am in love with a boy."

Neteyam looked sadly at you. His heart ached when he thought about any other male calling you his mate.

"Do I know him?" He asked

You felt something in your belly and wanted so bad to tell him it was him the boy you were talking about. Should you? You pondered.

"You do know him. He's a very handsome and well respected na'vi young male. He comes from a very good family."

"You seem to really like him..." Neteyam said, looking down

"I do. So much." You said while your heart broke seeing him in pain. It was so obvious, you could see it written all over his perfect face. He really seemed to be in love with you.

You wanna throw in the towel and tell him. You guys are listening to a beautiful romantic song, alone, in the middle of the forest. What moment could be more appropriate?

You decide that "screw it". You are gonna tell him you love him. He seemed so sad that you were in love with someone that wasn't him. But of course it was him, he just didn't know that.

"I've known him since forever..." You said, hoping he would know who you're talking about "We would run through the trees when we were 5 as his grandma would keep an eye on us in case any dangerous animal appeared."

Neteyam's heart started to pound inside his chest. Did you say what he thought you had said? Was he the boy you were in love with?

He smiled and with a wide-eyed gaze he said:

"I don't know if I'm going crazy here but..." he swallowed his saliva before proceeding "Could you be talking about me?" He asked, hoping you would say "yes"

"Maybe this will answer you" You leaned closer to him and kissed his lips

You didn't know what came over you. You were definitely not that confident. What if somehow you were wrong and he wasn't in love with you too?

This thought was soon washed away from your head when Neteyam grabbed your face with one hand and kissed you back. His lips were burning with desire for you. He couldn't believe that was actually happening.

He started moaning into your lips as it felt just so good to kiss your sweet mouth. He pulled you closer grabbing your leg and bringing it over his own.

You felt so high feeling his big hand in your leg, like you had dreamed of so many times, irradiating heat in the skin your shorts left uncovered. You lived like the na'vi but you still wore human clothes. It would be too weird for you not to. But you didn't wear clothes that covered much skin and wore accessories your na'vi mom had made for you, like a big necklace and beautiful bracelets. So, your style still made you look similar to the na'vi girls.

Neteyam opened his lips wider and took your bottom lip inside of his mouth, kissing it passionately. It was so good that you moaned in his lips. He gave you some more wet kisses and said "I love you, (y/n). This seems too good to be true. I can't believe you kissed me. I can't believe you want me too."

"I love you, Teyam. I want to be yours. Forever. Do you wanna be mine?"

"I already am, my sweetheart." He said as he surprised you by laying on top of you. You could feel how heavy he was even if he was trying not to put all his weight on your frail body, supporting himself on the floor with one of his arms.

"Oel ngati kameie" He said, his hand touching his forehead. You knew that meant "I see you" in the na'vi language. Your heart started beating at the speed of light and tears filled your eyes

"I see you, Teyam." You answered

Neteyam's hand traveled from your thigh to your hip, grabbing it and then going to your thigh again and opening one of your legs so he could get between them. He leaned closer to your face and kissed your lips. He then put his tongue in your lips and you opened your mouth and let it touch your own. Feeling his hot, wet tongue licking yours felt so feral. You were starting to get really horny for him. It felt even better when he started sucking your tongue.

☆•.°☆•.°☆•.°

Sooo. What do you guys think? Leave any opinions at the comments. I love reading your comments 🥰 Next chapter is gonna be smut 😈

I'm a tagging some really nice people that left a comment on the chapter 1 of this story asking to be tagged.

@lik0

@behindthearcane

💙💕

[tabbedtabby]

calamitous love and insurmountable grief

johanna mason x reader

summary: On a hard grieving day for you, you recall an old holiday celebrated centuries before Panem.

a/n: valentine’s day oneshot!!! happy valentine’s day! inspired by a round of frantic fanfic me and my friends did (ty ruby) and the title is a lyric from the lakes by taylor swift bc i barely slept and don’t want to think of anything better. implied fem reader

cw: cringe 😓

words: 1.9k

——————————————————————

Your head lies limply on Johanna’s lap, your face expressionless as you stare deeply into nothing in particular. It was just one of those days for you. One day you’d wake up and be completely fine, skipping down the tile to the shops that make up the streets of District 7. The next, the memories would come surging back twice as strong and ferociously crippling as the last. The images of the dead stained under your eyelids; family, friends, even the soldiers you’d hardly taken the time to know during your fight against the Capitol. Some lost to your own hands, but most to Snow. It seemed impossible to think that he couldn’t reach you here, trying your hardest to forget about the Hunger Games and the war and the people you’ve lost. You’ve been trying to enjoy the little things again in this past month, taking a train out to District 7 with your girlfriend after Snow was assassinated, if you could call it that, really. Swarmed by the mob after Katniss’ arrow found Coin’s heart instead.

It happens to Johanna, too, so she gets it. She simply rests one hand in between the strands of your hair, her fingers brushing through the pieces as she fights with her own memories. She never knows quite what to say with these things, how to help. Often she opts for silence. She hasn’t cared for someone like this in so long. But Johanna has come to learn that her touch helps you more than words ever could. The feeling of her hands stroking your hair calms you, sedates that awful feeling that always seems to rise up into your throat like bile. It hasn’t taken long for her to learn how to calm your fears with just one simple touch, even if it’s something that goes unspoken between the two of you. Like a covert oath held together by the most lenient of hands, gentle fingers that have a tendency to care. Johanna’s touch is the type that draws all of the emotion out of you, like a magnet to its opposite end. Her hands absorb your fear and lead your mind to simpler things. A lantern in the dark, the only star in a polluted sky. Your mind wanders as you try to remember what you wanted to say to her.

“Did you know that before Panem, there was this holiday? About love. And you’d buy stuff for them. Like, your lover. It was called Valentine’s Day. Reading about it always made me wish I was alive back then.” you say, your brain reeling back to all those history books you’ve been reading to pass the time. You can almost feel Johanna’s eyebrow raise above you.

“Who wouldn’t? Worrying about stupid shit like that instead of getting reaped for a death match,” Johanna sneers, although the ferocity in her words isn’t directed at you. It never is. She’s always seemed to have a soft spot for you in that way.

“Yeah… it would have been today, you know. February 14th.” you say hesitantly, and your mind wanders back to those pages. The stores with the synthetic white lights overhead that illuminate the rows of heart-shaped boxes filled with chocolate delicacies. You’ve only ever had chocolate in the Captiol because of just how expensive it is. You’ve never been able to wrap your head around the idea of it being sold for so cheap, so common that it was purchased by millions to offer to their lovers. How simple their world seems to you. So different from the Panem you know. The Panem that condones violence, prejudice, the slaughter of children. But that Panem is one of the past now, too. Maybe humankind could return to such a silly holiday that revolves around love and stupid things like chocolate and flowers. Maybe Panem could finally heal after all the damage that was dealt.

Suddenly, you shoot up from Johanna’s lap, an idea forming in your head. Johanna just stares at you expectantly as you attempt to sort your thoughts into comprehendable words. Usually, it’s to no avail, but you need these words to reach Johanna’s ears right now or you’re going to explode.

“We should celebrate! We can both go out into town and get a gift for each other. It doesn’t have to be traditional, or anything too fancy. But I want to get you something. We can just pretend we really did live back then, before Panem. Before any of this.” you say, pushing the words out excitedly at the thought of celebrating anything at all, really. The aftermath of the war has been heavy and overbearing. There hasn’t been much room for fun or excitement or any of the childish feelings receiving a gift entails. This prospect is what has your eyes looking expectantly up at Johanna, on the edge of your seat for a response from her.

“Sounds stupid, but fine. Only because you look like you’re about to throw up.” Johanna decides, rolling her eyes, but you can see the small smile on her lips when she stands up. The excitement fizzes in your stomach as soon as the words leave her mouth. Something to look forward to! Not only that, but you get to give a gift to Johanna in return. This was the best thing that’s happened to you probably since you saw the life leave Snow’s eyes. Your life was filled too much with remorse and grief for your liking; even this small celebration was sure to bring some light back to your world.

Johanna is someone special. The only person left on this earth you’re sure you love. She’s not just anyone to bestow a gift upon, she’s Johanna Mason, for fuck’s sake, so you have to make sure you buy something meaningful. Something that she’s sure to cherish until her dying days. You sling some coins in your pocket and head out the door, heading in the opposite direction as Johanna into town so that you don’t run into each other while buying the gifts. Although, you’re both pretty famous around here so you doubt the shopkeepers will actually charge you for anything. The entirety of the country knew you as survivors of the Hunger Games, so most typically go pretty easy on you and Johanna. Even if their pity makes Johanna want to tear their limbs off one by one.

Your excitement shows by the way your feet bound you out onto the streets, taking quick glances at all of the shops open in the middle of the week. But as you bounce down the tile, you suddenly slow and realize you have no idea what a meaningful gift for Johanna would actually be. Being so soon after the war, chocolate was out of the question. Flowers were too simple; hell, if Johanna wanted flowers, she could have picked some in your yard herself. You think of getting something to aid her hobbies, but she doesn’t have many hobbies really except for cutting wood with an axe, and she’s already got plenty of those.

You begin to feel a bit defeated now as you wander around town, your bag of coins still clutched unused in the palm of your hand. You haven’t known Johanna for too long, but you thought you at least knew her better than this. You almost turn around until your eyes catch on the blacksmith shop.

On the front of the stand hangs an axe that must be completely forged out of metal, the sleek black and silver parts illuminated by the sunlight. It’d be impossible for it not to catch your eye walking down the path, the way that it shines in the very front of the stall. It must be a premium, because you’ve never seen an axe with a steel handle like that before. It’s heavy, sure, but Johanna’s managed to rebuild a lot of the muscle she lost when captured by spending so much time hacking away at firewood. Now that you think about it, the axes she uses must be older than she is because when she comes back home, you always have to fish splinters out of her fingers with your tweezers. As soon as that shiny, new titanium reaches your eyes, your coins are practically already in the blacksmith’s pockets.

No matter how much of your trauma was broadcasted on national television, a weapon like that is going to cost you a fortune. But the blacksmith recognizes you and offers to put something on the handle for free. You watch intently as he carves you and Johanna’s initials onto the handle with a small, neat heart on the end. Just the sight of it makes your lips raise in a smile with pride.

On your way back to Victor’s Village, you pick up a small box for the axe and buy some red ribbon to wrap around it, just for added effect. When you arrive home, Johanna’s already waiting outside for you, a larger, flatter box slung under her arm. She looks a bit bored, but her green eyes catch on you as you approach.

“Sorry. Took me forever.” you mutter through your grin as you walk up to her, already placing your box in her hands. Johanna smiles similarly, her lips a small smirk as the sunlight catches in her eyes. You can see the small flecks of brown in her eyes, a brighter green in the light than typical. Her hair has grown back curlier than before, the wavy strands ending just below her ears. You miss the red streaks in her hair. You wonder if she will dye them again once hair dye begins to be produced and sold again.

When Johanna takes the box from your hands, it’s almost like she can recognize the weight of an axe instantly. Growing up in District 7 will do that. “Nothing light, huh?” she grins, her eyebrows raising a bit knowingly as she tostles the box around a bit, hearing the metal slosh against the cardboard of the box. You can’t help but think she looks beautiful like that, with the sun dappled over her skin. You watch her almost distractedly until she hands you the box she had kept under her arm.

“Here, before I open mine.” Johanna says, her smirk widening just a bit as she looks at you intently. You smile back up at her as you take the box from her hands. It’s quite flat and almost weightless. You nearly drop it from expecting something heavier. You look up at her in question, and she just tells you to open it again. You roll your eyes, but the smile doesn’t leave your face as you gently take the top off of the box.

Your brows furrow in confusion as you slowly take your hand to touch the fabric in the box. It’s a piece of clothing. You gently unfold it, letting the box fall to the floor. It’s a dress, originally white, but cream around the edges with age. But it’s clear it’s well cared for, not a single stitch missing or a piece of lace misplaced. It’s beautiful. You nearly gape your mouth in shock as you run your fingers along the white satin, the pattern forming small flowers, and it feels silky smooth beneath your touch. Your eyes raise back to Johanna, the emotion clear in your gaze as she looks back at you with pride in her small smirk.

“I looked into one of your history books. White for weddings, right?”

[sequinsmile-x]

Dust Off Your Highest Hopes

It was too good to be true. He was too good to be true, and she’d never been able to hang on to good things for long.

My 350th Hotchniss fic.

-x-

Hi besties!

I cannot believe this is my 350th fic for these two idiots. That is...insane in a lot of different ways and I wouldn't have got this far without all you and your endless support. So thank you for always commenting and leaving kudos and reblogging and just...everything really.

To mark this milestone I've written a Vic classic - feels mixed into family fluff and a Taylor Swift lyric as the title.

As always, let me know what you think <3

-x-

Warnings: pregnancy, labour

Words: 3.4k

Read over on Ao3, or below the cut

It was too good to be true. 

It’s the first thing she thinks as Aaron walks her to her apartment after their first date, their linked hands swinging ever so slightly between them, her leftovers wrapped in foil in his spare hand. Every worry she’d had about their relationship moving from friendship to more unfounded, the line they’d walked like a tightrope for years finally crossed. 

She smiles as she turns to look at him when they make it to her apartment door, nerves simmering in her belly that make her feel nothing short of a schoolgirl, and she sinks her teeth into her lower lip as their eyes meet, “Can you stay?” 

He tightens his grip on her hand and lifts it, pressing a kiss against her knuckles, “Jack is with Jess tonight,” he says, his smile nervous, an edge to it that makes him look much younger than he is. It makes her feel better to know he’s just as affected by her as she is by him, that this was something they both wanted. He clears his throat, avoiding eye contact, “I don’t have to stay all night if you don’t want me to. I can stay for a drink and go.” 

She smiles and bites the inside of her cheek in an attempt to contain her smile. The thought that the man standing in front of her, the man she’d heard discuss the very worst of things a person could do to another without flinching, was talking around the subject of sex with her nothing short of adorable. 

��Oh, I want you to stay,” she says, cupping his cheek when he looks back at her. She leans in to kiss him and her hand slips around the back of his neck, her smile getting wider when she feels his hands on her hips, the foil swan containing her leftovers bumping against her waist. When she pulls back she rests her forehead against his, “Otherwise I’d have to call my other boyfriend to come over and make me breakfast in the morning.” 

It’s only after she’s said it she realises it’s the first time she’s referred to him that way, and her mouth goes dry, “I mean-”

“Well, we can’t have that,” he says, cutting her off with another kiss, “I’ll have to make sure I’m here so he knows you’re my girlfriend now.” 

She feels ridiculous for how much she’s smiling, and she wonders where he came from. How this man had been standing in front of her for years without her noticing, perfect for her in ways she never could have guessed that afternoon when they first met in his office. A familiar feeling sinks in, a swooping in her gut she’d started to treat as a warning sign years ago. 

It was too good to be true. 

He was too good to be true, and she’d never been able to hang on to good things for long. Everything good and decent had always crumbled around her. Seemingly poisoned by her very presence, anything worth having turned bitter and snatched from her hands just as she was getting used to it. She’d almost forgotten about it when she found the team, when she found a family in the most unlikely of places, and then Ian escaped from prison, bringing the death knell that always seemed to follow her everywhere with him. She told herself when she came back that she wouldn’t let it happen again, that she wouldn’t get so comfortable it posed a risk to those around her, but then Aaron happened. Kind, sweet, handsome Aaron who had been there all along. 

She wonders if it’s selfish to pull him down with her, to allow herself to have him for however long she could before the universe, or a god she stopped believing in half a lifetime ago, tore it all away from her

“Are you okay sweetheart?”

His kind words and gentle touch pull her out of the spiral she’d fallen into, his eyebrows knitting together with concern when she looks up at him. She immediately feels a little calmer, the thing that she can only call love shining in his eyes as he cups her cheek, and she nods, stamping her lips against his before she finally moves to dig her keys out of her purse. 

“I’m fine,” she says, kissing him again as she unlocks the door, “Now let's get inside before we give my neighbours a show.” 

He laughs, the full-bodied one that never fails to make her smile, and he nods, pressing his face against her neck and his chest against her back as he crowds her against the door, and she shivers. “Cold?” 

She narrows her eyes at his smugness as she looks at him over her shoulder, her nose nudging against his because of his proximity, and she struggles to suppress a smile. 

“Something like that.” 

It might be too good to be true, but she’d hold onto it, onto him, for as long as she could. 

___

It’s a thought that chases her throughout their relationship, a phantom hiding in the shadows, only ever one step behind her, its hand reached out to pull her under as they move from boyfriend and girlfriend to fiancees, to husband and wife. It’s easy. Far easier than she ever thought it would be and it terrifies her, the simplicity of it all something she struggles to relax into.

When they buy their house that seems absurdly easy too, both of them falling in love with the first one they are shown around in an instant, Aaron’s hand wrapped around hers as the realtor says the room next to the master bedroom would be a perfect nursery. A thought that made her giddy and terrified in equal measure.

No matter how much time passes, no matter how happy she feels, the thought always lingers in the back of her mind, a twisted mantra she can’t escape. 

It was too good to be true.

___

The relief is palpable as she feels her baby slip from her body into the waiting hands of the nurse between her legs. Emily collapses back against Aaron, barely feeling the way he squeezes her hands or kisses the side of her head, his whispered words of love against her sweaty skin drowned out by the piercing first cry of her son. 

And then she is handed him, her shaky hands unlinking from her husband’s as she holds her son against her chest, entirely unsure when someone had pulled her gown down so she could do the immediate skin-to-skin she’d been insistent on in her birth plan. Phrases she’d never heard before like ‘the Golden Hour’ suddenly more important to her than she thought they’d ever be. 

“Hi baby,” she says, her voice sounding nothing like her own as she holds him close, her eyes skating over features she’d only seen in grainy scans. She kisses his forehead before she rests her cheek against the top of his head, “Look at you,” she looks up at Aaron, “Look at him.” 

“He’s beautiful,” he replies, his hand tangled in her sweaty hair as he kisses her temple and then their little boy’s head, “Just like you.” 

For a moment it’s just the three of them, no outside influence, the nurses and the doctor disappearing from her awareness as her son’s cries quieten down, his screwed-up face finally relaxing as he stops protesting being born. 

“You’re okay, sweet boy,” she says, unable to stop staring at him, her gaze shifting from his nose to his lips to his head full of dark hair, quickly cataloguing everything about him as if it would be snatched away, “Mommy’s got you.” 

Everything and everyone else in the room comes back into sharp focus as she feels a hand on her leg, the nurse's eyes kind as she looks up, “Would Dad like to cut the chord?” 

Aaron nods, and it takes a little manoeuvring from him to get out from behind her, her grip on the baby briefly tighter as she sits up just enough to let her husband slip out from the bed. She watches as he listens carefully as he’s told what to do, his brow furrowed as if he is staring at paperwork in his office as he cuts the chord between the two clamps she hadn’t even noticed were put in place. She smiles at him as he does it, a look of wonder in his eyes as he looks up at her, a flash of innocence that reminds her of Jack that she hopes she’ll see in her newborn’s eyes as he grows. 

“Do we have a name for Baby Boy Hotchner?” Another nurse asks, standing at a counter in the corner, matching wristbands laid out in front of her, that Emily knows she’ll cut free from her and her son the moment they get home and keep forever, a rare show of sentimentalism she’ll allow herself this once, “Or are we sticking with Baby Boy for now?” 

Emily looks at Aaron, a silent question passing between the two of them, and his only answer is a nod, a quiet agreement that the name they’d chosen was perfect. 

“He’s called Samuel. Samuel Aaron Hotchner.” 

Eventually, once her hour is up, her placenta already delivered and gone, the seeming army of medical staff that had been in her room whittled down to just one nurse who was weighing and measuring Samuel, Aaron convinces her to shower. She hesitates, her gaze fixed on her little boy in the corner of the room, her teeth clenched as she watches a stranger coo over him, but Aaron insists. He repeats the nurse's assurance that she’d feel better for it and that he’d keep an eye on their infant son. 

She hates that she does feel better for it, her sore body somewhat soothed by the warm water and the gentle soap Aaron had bought and packed for her. She has to sit down to get dressed, wincing as she bends over to pull up a pair of disposable panties that resemble a diaper more than anything else. She blows out a steady breath as she looks at herself in the mirror, wiping away the steam that had collected on it to get a better look at herself. She turns sideways to look at her profile, her hands pressing against her slightly deflated belly, the squishiness strange after so many months of being able to feel her son shifting beneath her skin. 

A familiar feeling climbs up her throat, greeting her like an old friend as she feels the overwhelming urge to see her little boy, the fear that she could no longer protect him now he didn’t live inside of her overwhelming. She bursts out of the bathroom, the panic dying the second she sees Aaron sitting in the plush chair next to her bed, a soft smile on his face as he looks up from Samuel who was now in one of the tiny onesies they’d brought in. She’d cried when she’d packed it in their hospital bag, completely at the mercy of her hormones as she tried to imagine how it would be possible for her son to be so small he could fit inside of it. She tries to ignore that it’s clearly a little big on him, sure if she went down that rabbit hole of emotions she’d never climb back out. 

“How was the shower?” 

She only realises Aaron’s asked her a question when she looks up at him, his smile expectant as she clears her throat and nods, shuffling slowly over to the bed, “The water pressure was crap,” she complains, smiling gratefully when he stands and offers her a hand to help her onto the bed, Samuel safe and secure against his chest with the other, “But I think it might be the best shower I’ve ever had.” 

He chuckles, and she doesn’t think she’s ever loved him more than when he passes Samuel over without her asking too, “Even better than the one where we conceived-”

“If you ever want to have sex again, don’t finish that sentence,” she grumbles, unable to stop herself from smiling when she thinks of the night he’s talking about, the night they’d calculated must have been when she’d fallen pregnant. 

Aaron nods and clears his throat, “I texted JJ and she’s going to tell everyone else,” he says, smiling when she raises an eyebrow at him for the abrupt change in subject, “I thought that was the best way to make sure we’re largely left alone.” 

“Thank you,” she says, patting Samuel’s back when he fusses in his sleep, “And my mom?” 

“Called her and told her you’d speak to her tomorrow.” 

She hums and kisses the top of her baby’s head, “Daddy is the best, Sammy” she whispers, breathing in the smell of her little boy, “He loves us so much,” she rests her cheek against the top of his head, “Jack?” 

“He was already asleep when I called Jess,” Aaron explains, his smile soft as he sits on the edge of the bed, his hand heavy on Emily’s thigh, “She’ll bring him in the morning to meet him.” 

“Good,” she replies, trying to relax into the feeling of Samuel against her chest, “I’m excited for them to meet.” 

“You must be tired,” Aaron says, and she tenses, holding her baby even closer, “If you need to sleep-”

“I don’t need sleep,” she cuts him off, a mix of anger she knows he doesn’t deserve and overwhelming sadness swirling in her gut. She feels no warning that she’s about to cry, the first sign the weight of her tears hitting her cheek, spilling over and catching in Samuel’s dark hair, “I’m fine.” 

“Em,” he says, endlessly patient in a way that somehow makes her feel worse, “What’s wrong?” 

She blows out a slow breath, unsure how to put it into words, her chest concaving inwards as all of her fears pile on top of her at once, “I…” she shakes her head at herself, “I don’t know how to explain it.” 

He stands up and for a second she misses his warmth, but then he’s next to her, half hanging off the bed, one of his feet on the ground to steady himself, and he wraps his arm around her and gently pulls her against him. “You can tell me anything, you know that.” 

She nods and turns her head to kiss his shoulder, “I…I worry I have too much.” 

He furrows his brow and shifts so he can see her face a little better, “What do you mean, sweetheart?”

She sighs not even surprised when more tears fall past her lashline, her last remaining defences that had stayed standing during her pregnancy destroyed by a long labour and the almost oppressive love she felt for Samuel. Her chest so full of it she could barely breathe, the fear that she’d never been able to outrun still ticking over in her mind, background noise she could ignore right up until she couldn’t. 

It was too good to be true. 

“Before you, I never got to keep anything good for long,” she explains, leaning into his palm when he wipes a tear from her cheek, “I was never happy for long. Even when I joined the team, that didn’t last because of Ian. So I keep just…waiting for the other shoe to drop. For something to happen. Because I don’t understand how after everything…” she chokes on a sob, her chin trembling with such force she worries her jaw may shatter, “I just don’t understand why I get it have it all now. You. Jack. The house,” she sobs again, her attention focusing back on Samuel, “Him. I mean look at him, Aaron,” she runs her knuckles over her son’s soft cheek, “He’s perfect. How could something so perfect come from me?” 

He sighs, “Em-”

“And I love our life so much,” she says, cutting over him, unable to stop now she’s started, “And I am so worried that it’s all going to go away.” 

She presses her face into his shoulder and he places his hand on the back of her head, holding her close his thumb tracing back and forth over her damp hair, “Sweetheart, you deserve the world,” he says, kissing her forehead, “You’re allowed to allow yourself to be happy.” 

“It’s not that I’m not happy, honey,” she says, sniffing as she pulls back, “I’m so happy I just…”

“Don’t trust it,” he finishes for her and she nods. He wipes more tears from her cheeks, “I understand that.”

She frowns as she looks up at him, moving so quickly she briefly worries she’s woken up Samuel, but he’s still sleeping contentedly against her, “You do?” 

He nods, tucking some of her hair behind her ear, “I do. Sometimes if I try to call you and you don’t answer I panic, it takes me right back to when I was on the phone with Haley when she was with Foyet. When I couldn’t protect her,” he admits, and she sighs sadly, her chest shuddering with it as she opens her mouth to respond, but he shakes his head, his smile soft, “You have nothing to apologise for. I’m telling you I understand, okay? But you, Jack,” he smiles as he looks at the baby asleep on her chest and he places his hand on his back, “Sammy. You’re what makes me happy. And it helps drown out the rest of it.” 

She’s strangely grateful he doesn’t offer her platitudes, that there are no empty promises hanging between them. They knew more than most people that nothing was guaranteed, and it was more comforting than she expected it to be that he knew how she felt too. 

“It also probably doesn’t help you haven’t slept in over 24 hours,” he says softly, and she chokes on a laugh, nodding as he wipes more tears away from her cheeks. 

“No, it probably doesn’t,” she admits, “But I really don’t think I’d sleep. I can’t explain it,” she says, tucking Samuel up against her cheek, “I feel almost wired.”

He chuckles and kisses the top of her head, “Yet Sammy is fast asleep.” 

She hums, “It’s hard work being born, clearly.” 

“Anything I can do to help?” He asks, and she nods stamping a kiss against his lips. 

“Can you do something with my hair for me?” She asks, feeling oddly embarrassed by the request, grimacing at the damp waves against her neck, “It’s overstimulating me but I don’t want to put him down to do anything about it.” 

He nods, his expression serious as he stands up and heads for the bag they’d packed, a determination in his step that made her fall impossibly more in love with him. “I can braid it if you want,” he says, turning to look at her with her hairbrush in one hand and a pack of hair ties in the other, “It will let me practise if our next one is a girl.”

She laughs loudly, disturbing the sleeping baby in her arms. She shushes him, whispers of Mommy loves you Sammy, against his head for a few seconds before he settles back down, and she raises an eyebrow at her husband. 

“Our next one?” She asks incredulously, the thought of another kid with him warming her from the inside out, “At least let me get out of the diaper from having this one first,” she says, narrowing her eyes playfully, “Animal.” She smiles as he settles back on the bed next to her and she leans in to kiss him, “I love you.” 

He smiles into the kiss, his forehead resting against hers before he pulls away, “I love you too.” 

She sighs contentedly as he gently brushes her hair for her and she closes her eyes, allows herself to settle into the feeling of her son on her chest and her husband behind her and the comfort that came with them. 

Her life was good. 

[floydsglasses]

𝗜'𝗺 𝗦𝘁𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗲𝗱 𝘀𝗼 𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲'𝘀 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗛𝗮𝗽𝗽𝘆 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗦𝗮𝗱 𝗗𝗮𝗴𝗴𝗲𝗿 𝗛𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗰𝗮𝗻𝗼𝗻𝘀

This is gonna be bad im just warning you im freaking tired and stressed, they are gonna be Sad and Happy and UNHINGED.

Bradley has a little Rooster figurine in the front of his jeep, he got as a gag joke and was gonna leave it at whatever house he got it at but now has emotional attachment to it.

Jake's go to song in Karaoke when he is sober is Queen, he will belt out We Will Rock you, but when he is drunk enough he will sing Dolly Parton's 9 to 5 with every bit of southern twang he can

When Bob is really angry he will drop his midwest accent and go full on southern, like deep south

Natasha lost a bet in high school and had to get a bad tattoo, said tattoo was something like a duck with a cowboy hat, or stupid quote, you decide

Mickey unironically sings the lyrics to Taylor Swift's Love Story, like he will sing the bridge at the top of his lungs going sixty on the highway.

Rueben is the kind of guy to say he won't rage quit a video game then will toss the controller after failing two time's.

Javy would be the kind of guy who would let a kid paint his nail's, pink purple yellow, he does not care he will flaunt it off it because it makes the kid happy.

Bradley would somehow get a cat or dog, like one of those distribution system's like on tiktok, he would say he would foster it but end up keeping it naming it something human like, Kevin or Betty

Natasha say's she dosent like country music, but wont admit she would get down to some Luke Bryan here and there because who wouldn't

Bob seems like if he was put into a situation where him and his friend's got lost, he would be the calm one but on the inside he is panicking, he will see an exit sign with a restaurant and be like. "Guy's its okay there's burgers."

Javy will pull over when he sees cows and take there picture's. No joke would even try and pet one.

Rueben and Mickey are the worst people when it comes to trivia because they are so good at it, when they get an answer right they increasingly get more competitive.

Jake cried playing RDR2 when Arthur died and he also despised Micah like the rest of us.

Rueben is great at bowling, so good that most of the time no one play's with him

Bob will doodle little drawings on sticky note or notebook's when he is bored and give them to any of the dagger's, He drew Natasha a sketch of bird, she kept it in her locker.

Bradley has a mixtape from his dad, Goose, titled "Song's You Need to Hear Once", it's all filled with songs from the Sixties to the Eighties, all classic's from Rock to Motown, after his mom died he didnt dare to touch it, after the uranium mission he starting listening again.

Natasha has bracelets from her little cousin's that she wear's for good luck, they are bright yellow and purple string's, she never take's them off ever

Jake collects stickers from each state, his dad used to bring him a sticker from each of his trips before he got too busy, so he is trying to finish them off himself.

Mickey has a tattoo to honor his family, a way to have a piece of them everywhere he goes. A small quote in Spanish on his side stating Por aquellos que amo me sacrificaré/For those I love I will sacrifice

Reuben like to sleep in a hammock sometime's under the stars, reminding him of his childhood and growing up in the south, when he would play outside with his siblings

Javy is a momma's boy, in a good way, this man will always call his mom or text her about the thing's going on his life, before a big mission or detachment he calls her, tell her he loves her.

Jake has stepped on a jellyfish on a beach, after saying "oh they dont sting'" just for him to get shocked

Bradley broke his arm doing stunts on his bike as a kid, he has permanent scars on his forearm, he did in fact do it twice till Carole told him to not do it again.

Natasha and Bob learned the Rasputin Dance from Just Dance

Mickey has argued with people that pineapple belongs on pizza, he will full on go tooth and nail to defend his claims.

Reuben has knocked the Radio off in the Rec room, and has blamed it on Hangman, it was a whole debacle

Javy has a fear of snake's, he found one once and he took of running leaving his friend's to deal with it.

OKAY THAT IS ALL SHE WROTE, I know some of these dont make sense but I dont care i needed a stress reliver before another stressful week. AND THATS ALL SHE WILL WRITE BECAUSE THIS FAILED AGAIN

[helloiamnamelesscarol]

I listened to the album after its release, because I wanted to better understand the lyrics and the sound of the album. Lyrically, it's totally different from any album she's ever made, much more mature with subjects she's never tackled before, especially on Folklore and Evermore, which she never tackled in those two albums. Whether many of you like it or not, the album talks about two relationships that we know exactly who they are, there's no point in anyone turning a blind eye to the relationship she had with Matty Healy, we all know that their relationship has been going on since 2014 and the flame was lit again last year and he uses her in his songs, she clearly talks about it! Joe Alwyn and Taylor Swift's break up was a normal break up and they talked about it and decided to break up, they both realized that they weren't in reality, they wanted different things in life and there was no betrayal! The album says very well that there was no betrayal as MANY say there was betrayal, that he used her and her money ... The only betrayal I noticed in one song was emotional betrayal on her part, while she was with Joe Alwyn she was thinking of Matty Healy in a loving way. An album of mourning, denial, anger and bargaining over the two break-ups and especially over the Love of Her Life who is or was Matty. Fear of being alone, delusions, anxiety...There's no point in wishing them ill, the song Karma itself says that everything that goes out comes back!!! So be careful what you wish for!!!

[ts1989fanatic]

Let’s call the abuse of Taylor Swift what it really is – a hate crime against women

It doesn’t matter what your thoughts are on the artist’s latest relationship, writes Olivia Petter – we should not be talking about women this way in 2023

Of all the women in the public eye, Taylor Swift is one that people love to hate. Maybe it’s because she’s inordinately successful – her Eras tour is likely to be the highest-grossing tour of all time with an estimated $1.4bn in revenue. It could be because she’s incredibly talented – have you listened to the lyrics on her Folklore album? Maybe it’s because she’s exceptionally beautiful – that hair! Those eyes! That smile!

Or... perhaps it’s just that she’s a woman.

As a long-term, die-hard Swifty (this is what us Swift fans call ourselves), I have often wondered what it is about my favourite golden girl with the voice of an angry angel and the brain of an Ivy League English professor that riles people up quite so much.

Anyone who has seen her Miss Americana documentary for Netflix from 2020 will know that the 33-year-old has long been the subject of internet bile, with critics attacking everything from her vocals and the way she dresses, to her weight and the men she’s dated.

In the latest spate of hatred against Swift, it seems to be the latter that is causing the issue. You see, following a breakup with her long-term boyfriend, Joe Alwyn, and a rather surprising (though short-lived) fling with 1975 frontman Matty Healy, Swift has a new man in her life: Travis Kelce. The American football player is considered one of the best athletes in the game, and Swift has already made a handful of notable appearances at some of his big games.

Most recently, Swift was seen attending the Kansas City Chiefs-New York Jets game to watch Kelce play, alongside a close friend, Blake Lively, and Lively’s husband, Ryan Reynolds. Following the game, though, Barstool Sports personalities Dan “Big Cat” Katz and Eric “PFT Commenter” Sollenberger – hosts of the popular Pardon My Take podcast – decided to weigh in on Swift’s presence with a series of sexist comments, calling her “bad for football” and making lewd jokes about “Taylor Swift’s vagina."

Elsewhere in the podcast, Katz admitted that he’d accept Swift’s presence at Chiefs games if she and Kelce were to “release a sex video”, as he described what crude details the video would need to include for him to accept the rumoured relationship.

It’s a hideous series of comments to read in full. Here is one of the most successful women in the world being reduced to nothing but a sex object by two male sports fans. It’s textbook misogyny: what better way to minimise a powerful woman than by talking about her sex life, or making references to her genitals? We’ve seen it before, and I’m sure we’ll see it again – but hasn’t Swift had to deal with enough of this already?

For years, critics fixated on her love life, often neglecting to mention her music at all in long reads about who she was rumoured to be dating at the time. She is a woman that has, for far too long, been defined by the men in her life. At least by those without the common sense to actually listen to her music and show her even a modicum of respect as an artist.

Enough is enough. As the actor Rachel Zegler put it in a tweet, “You will never see people speaking this way about a man. That goes for a lot of different scenarios. We do not pick apart men’s attitudes and relationships the way we do women’s and it’s not always just men who speak this way about us. Women can and do, too. It sucks.”

It’s 2023; this sort of language should not be tolerated, let alone broadcast on a popular podcast. However, when it is, we should recognise it for what it is: hate speech spouted by men who are threatened by successful women, and therefore feel compelled to sexualise them in order to preserve their flimsy, fragile egos. How sad for them.

ts1989fanatic

Nothing but the absolute TRUTH

[youareinlovetv]

ALL my thoughts on ttpd in one post:

fortnight is not what i expected at ALL and it's so insane like.. oh my god. this is slut all over again

POST MALONE'S VOCALS ARE SO GOOD IN THIS SONG TOO OH MY GODDD

the same can be said with the title track. it's so weird to me how it's melancholic like this i thought it would be absolutely devastating

she ate with the lyrics on it though "we're two idiots" yes you are bitchessss

my boy only breaks his favorite toys... insane. that's all i have to say

down bad is CRAZYYY like the thing at the beginning goes so hard and it feels like slut but way way more devastating and not happy

"fuck it if i can't have him" hurts me she is so hurt i need to hug her!!!!!!

so long london genuinely might be one of the best songs she has ever written and produced because holy fucking shit

THE BEGINNING?? HER VOCALS?? SO MAGICAL???

and then she just spits out fact after fact like joe is shaking

"you swore that you loved me but where were the clues, i died on the alter waiting for the proof" this line. hurts me. so much. she's so fucking evil i can't i can't i literally CANT

at first i thought 'but daddy i love him' was about joe but apparently it's about matty??? ok then

she is such in denial but i'm proud of her for putting it on the album!!

i forgot what lyric but the one abt him being her whole world broke me (i thought it was abt joe though so...)

i dont rlly have anything to say about fresh out the slammer other than its definitely about joe and him protecting her from the paparazzi and shit and it just makes me sad

FLORIDA IS. CRAZY OH MY GODDDDDDD

ok first of all. the buildup and the chorus is insane

and FLORENCE'S VOCALS??? HELLO???

the bridge kills me too

the first lyric of guilty as sin having blue in it... shut up

who's afraid of little old me is INSANE and BATSHIT and BULLSHIT and crazy and what the absolute fuck

THE VOCALS ATE. THE VOCALS ATE SO SO HARD

AND THE BACKGROUND VOCALS WHAT THE FUCK??? THE "OOOOOOOH OOOOOOOOH"S BEFORE THE CHORUS HELLO???

god this song hurts it's so anti-hero coded i can't

i can fix him is another one of those songs i cant comment on yet bc im still processing it eizosdfhasoihd

loml is so painful

when she said "loss of my life" i was gagged. literally gagged

it's so sad beautiful tragic but cranked up to 10 and i can't take it anymore

I CAN DO IT WITH A BROKEN HEART. THIS IS LIKE. MY FAVORITE SONG ON THE ALBUM. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

THE PRODUCTION??? THE TEMPO?? IT'S SO SO SO SO GOOD AAAAAAAAAA ITS SO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT GOES SO HARD WHAT DRUG DID SHE PUT IN THIS SONG

THE CHORUS IS SO ADDICTING

"LIGHTS CAMERA BITCH SMILE". GAGGGGGGGGEDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ITS THE PERFECT SONG. EVER.

the smallest man who ever lived is so savage. she ate

ratty deserves it

thats all

THE ALCHEMY IS SO CUTE!!! UGHHH TRAVIS IS SO GOOD TO HER I CANTTTTTT

i truly don't know how to feel about clara bow like. it's a good song but i genuienly dont know

BUT her saying "you look like taylor swift" gave me goosebumps idk why

ok to be honest overall the bonus songs imo aren't as good as the main album

they're still GOOD but not as good

i don't have much to say about them because i've listened to them but i still need to process them so maybe i can reblog this later with my thoughts abt them but yeah

all i can say is KIM being hidden in thank you aimee gagged me

and the manuscript ate....

this album. is so good. i can't

it's so so so good that's all thank you for reading

[bananaofswifts]

Sorry, Hayley Williams and Fall Out Boy: Marjorie has stolen the show again. Not that Taylor Swift’s beloved grandmother actually puts in a vocal appearance from the great beyond, as she did on the “Evermore” album three years ago. But Marjorie Finlay still manages to be a dominative force in the Vault Tracks for the newly released “Speak Now (Taylor’s Version),” by having her photos appear throughout the lyric video for the closing track, “Timeless,” and having her relationship with Taylor’s granddad be a focus of the inspirational ballad. Twenty-first-century pop-punk or emo can hardly compete with that emotional a capper.

But for those less sentimentally inclined, Paramore’s singer and Fall Out Boy’s Patrick Stump will be way up there in what Swift fans immediately take away from the six previously unheard compositions that have been appended to the previous 16-track running order of 2010’s “Speak Now.” The duet with Williams, “Castles Crumbling,” is particularly pungent, as a lament that just about could have been an outtake from the more recent “Folklore” or “Evermore” instead of an album that came out a full decade before those. As for the FOB-aided track, it’s the farthest thing from a Swift classic. But — having been written, like the rest of these tracks, when the artist was 18 or 19 — the number does hark back to an era when girls (and Fall Out Boys) could just wanna have fun.

A more careful inspection of the 16 re-recorded tracks will have to wait, since the details of what feels the same or different bear a certain amount of forensic analysis, or at least repeated A/B comparisons. (Of course, the whole world has just done an instant side-by-side of the altered lyrics of “Better Than Revenge” — see our story about that here.) But before we figure out how more or less haunting the new “Haunted” is, here are insta-reactions to the six never-before-heard tunes.

“Electric Touch”: Although the recreations of the 16 original songs credit Christopher Rowe as Swift’s co-producer (filling in for O.G. producer Nathan Chapman), when it comes to the six Vault Tracks, Swift splits those producing collaborations between her two modern-day mainstays, Aaron Dessner and Jack Antonoff. Neither guy gets to do anything either as modern-sounding or eccentric as they have on Swift’s last few albums — they stay true to the stylistic spirit of 2010, for the most part, with the organic pop-rock band sound she favored at the time. “Electric Touch” is probably the least immediately interesting song here, compositionally; it lacks any of the truly great, peculiar lines that mark a Swift song as unmistakably hers (or “Mine”). Yet embedded underneath the hopeful, anthemic and — honestly — somewhat generic rock veneer is a lot of the pessimism and self-doubt that goes so far toward making Swift our most relatable superstar. “I’m trying hard not to look like I’m trying,” Stump sings, stealing some of 19-year-old Taylor’s lines, “’cause every time I tried hard for love it fell apart.” It’s the uneasy tension between luck and predestined loss that gives this one a little tension amid the breeziness, before it tips on the side of even the losers getting lucky sometimes.

“When Emma Falls in Love”: Dessner is at the co-reins again on this one, but this time leading things off with a lilting piano that lends the song a childlike spirit. On the scale of sweet songs about fictional girls that have Swift doing a little third-person projecting, “Emma” is close to being up with there with “Betty.” “She’s the kind of book that you can’t put down / Like if Cleopatra grew up in a small town / And all the bad boys would be good boys / If they only had a chance to love her.” Any chance this could actually be about a small-town gal from Reading, Pennsylvania? Nah, because Emma makes all the right moves and figures out that’s how you get the boy. It has a happy ending right out of “Love Story,” but by the time of making what was her third album, Swift was feeling like she had to assign something that cheerful to an alter ego.

“I Can See You”: Well, now, here is a groove. Jack Antonoff comes on board for the first time on the revamped album, and you might have to look to “1989’s” “Style” to find another song in the Swift catalog that benefits as much from the simple electric funkiness of a well-played rhythm guitar. (This particular riff sounds especially fine in headphones, landing just off the beat and bouncing between ears ever so slightly.) Swift never had an office job, but must have attended Take Your Daughter to Work Day just enough to wonder what it’d be like to seduce a guy in a suit and tie. “I could see you up against the wall with me,” she sings — because she knows places you two can hide, and they’re just around the corner from the copy machine!

“Castles Crumbling”: As mentioned, this sounds like a flash-forward to the Swift Songbook of 2020, and surely would have had a different production in 2010 than it gets now with the artist and Antonoff updating as a more modern mood piece. Williams is her duet partner on this one, and it recalls Swift’s vocal collaboration with Phoebe Bridgers on the previous “Taylor’s Version” just a little, in that both this song and “Nothing New” have her writing about foreseeing the end of her fame, or at least her acclaim. In a way, its paranoia prefigures the defensiveness against a fan base she sees turning on her that would come to real fruition in later years on the “Reputation” album. But in another sense, this is the less chin-up mirror image of “Mean,” a song that obviously did make the original “Speak Now.” “Mean” had her bucking up against a blogger who told her she “can’t sing,” and in this number, it’s as if she imagines a whole nation of fans as that blogger, turning backs on her. It’s like she’s following that maxim about imagining the worst and you won’t get disappointed.

“Foolish One”: A strummed acoustic guitar starts this one, and although a bit of drum programming soon kicks in that probably isn’t what Nathan Chapman would’ve done, it still belongs distinctly to the turn of the decade it came from. As with “Electric Touch,” this teeters back and forth between possible optimism about the outcome of a relationship and fatalism, but lands on the side of one-sided love doomed to go to heck in a handbasket. It still sounds impossibly cheerful, in the way that Swift’s falsetto tips up at the end of lines, as is so often her trademark, with a final realization: “He just wasn’t the one.” What’s with this gentle acceptance, for a singer we want to obsess over scarves forever?

“Timeless”: The most truly “organic”-sounding of all the bonus tracks on this new edition — it has ukulele and flute floating in the background behind those acoustic guitars and organs — “Timeless” is a ballad you can imagine Swift having considered for a “Speak Now” album-closer at the time, instead of the brotherhood-of-the-road anthem “Long Live.” Most of the initial lyric videos Swift put up on YouTube have visuals of the static or circular screen-saver variety, but this one is the exception, consisting largely of a lot of photographs of Swift’s grandparents, modeling a great love she believes would have happened in any era, falling just shy of putting in an endorsement for reincarnation. It’s not the emotional tour de force that the song “Marjorie” was — there’s no otherworldly soprano reaching out from beyond the grave to jerk your tears, here, and good, since fans can only handle so much of that in one lifetime. But the grandmother’s solely visual cameo may still ply misty from you.

[sophietv]

The Multidimensions Of Taylor's Art

I wrote this piece on Twitter back in May when people were very loud about the fact that trying to attribute a song to a muse was disrecpectful and was diminishing Taylor's art.

I think today is a good day to repost it:

Taylor Swift's art is multidimensional. She said it herself and as we keep repeating over and over again, she's a Mastermind.

The message she conveys with one song is larger than just being a good song with beautifully written lyrics.

I see a lot of people talking recently about how when people talk about the muses of the song they are "reducing" Taylor's art to her muses. And how gaylorism was somewhat "better" before because the focus was less on this.

(I would like to differ on this, but it’s a whole other conversation). 

But Taylor's art is multidimensional and intentionally directed to her fans. ALL her fans.

In one song, she manages not only to create a masterpiece with incredible lyricism.

She also manages to include deep queer references, ingrained in queer history. 

She also managed multiple times to reference queer arts, books, poems, artists etc.

Acknowledging all of it and appreciating it is, yes, very important. I mean, it's the core of her art and a beautiful part of gaylorism.

Who hasn't learned a lot about our own history all thanks to Taylor?

But while this part is very true. Taylor also manages to make sure in every song that we can identify the muse.

It has always been an important part of her artistry. Remember liner notes from Debut to 1989?

She even decided that it was not enough, and starting with reputation, she started including Taymojies, making sure you knew very well who and what that song was about.

But she doesn't even stop there. For most of her songs starting with 1989 all the way to Midnights, she's also making sure that you can identify said muse through her lyrics.

Ever wonder why, for most of her songs there's parallels you can easily make with social media posts, articles, interviews, videos etc?

She's making sure that she references things in her songs that will point to the muse and that you'll be able to track back with some simple google search. 

All of this is very very clearly intentional.

She also uses the same imagery that she knows very well her fans can recognize since 1989 while talking about her muse.

Using recurring themes that she's well aware her fans (us) will associate with the person (Sun, gold, New York, daisies etc.)

But the depth of her work doesn't even stop there. She'll even use timestamps in her songs to communicate certain messages or references to certain persons. And this is when the length of the song is not simply intentionally referencing one person:

Ex Sweet Nothings: Karlie's birthday

And so much more…

This can clearly be qualified as pure genius. But she pushes it even farther. 

If we take Midnights for example she even samples her songs to older ones to help you identify the time, the event or the muse this song references.

Lavender Haze - I Think He Knows

Question…? - Out Of The Woods

Maroon - King Of My Heart

And it's not even the end of the massive amount of information that she manages to put out in a 3-4 minutes song.

This is simply astonishing. 

Her brain truly is amazing.

Her lyrics videos are made to help you identify what and who the song is about. With visual clues and very intentional uses of capital letters and comas.

For example: "Your Midas touch"

Making sure you know she's referencing king Midas who turned everything he touched into gold (gold again, interesting).

Or: "some name dropping sleaze tell me what are my Wordsworth"

From The Lakes, referencing the poet William Wordsworth.

And it still goes further. She will include small details in her songs that you'll pick up on if you pay attention but will fly right past most listeners. A sort of secret message for those who really pay attention.

Ex: in Getaway Car, when she sings.

"Ain't a circus, ain't a love story and now we're both sorry (we're both sorry)"

This is two girls singing "we're both sorry. Meaning the relationship she was trying to protect with this getaway car was with a girl. Once again pointing to the muse.

I already wrote a novel and I haven't even touched the music videos and tour visuals…

But her genius in songwriting doesn't even end there.

Because, if you don't know the muse or refuse to see it. She'll also manage to buy some plausible deniability in her songs so it kind of points to her PR relationships too.

Not much, just enough so that if you really want to believe those Hollywood stories, you can hold on to these lines/visuals and be happy.

But she manages to do so, while staying true to the real muse and not so much to the PR relationship.

A good example is Invisible String and the famous Yogourt shop line with the wrong shirt color.

If your life depends on Toe, it's enough to make you happy and you won't search much further.

However if you search a bit, you'll find out how she intentionally messed up the lyrics.

I could still go on and on about the depth, the genius and the complexity of her songwriting, but I think you see my point now.

She said it herself, her songwriting is painfully autobiographical. And she puts an immeasurable amount of effort in it to make sure you get the story right.

Dismissing the muse of the song to not reduce her work is just as bad as dismissing her queerness and all the references she does to it, to not "speculate" on her.

In both, of all the multidimensional approaches that she uses in her art. You are keeping yourself from enjoying and dismissing about 50% of her hard work. If not more when you include music videos.

Acknowledging her muses to the songs is not reducing anything but more embracing as much as you can the genius and hard work she puts behind every song and every artistic decision she makes.

And I'm not saying that you HAVE to acknowledge the muse or else you are not a true fan. Art is meant to be enjoyed differently by every person and at the end of the day you take what makes you happy, simple as that.

My point is to say that acknowledging the muse in her music is not reducing anything. Quite the contrary. 

[taylorswiftandx]

Taylor Swift and Will

Note: huge thank you to @meandmypagancrew for collaborating with me on the lyrics for this post!

'Taylor Swift'

Tim McGraw: And there's a letter left on your doorstep and the first thing that you'll read

Picture To Burn: My daddy's gonna show you how sorry you'll be

Teardrops On My Guitar: I'll bet she's beautiful, that girl he talks about

Teardrops On My Guitar: I'll put his picture down and maybe get some sleep tonight

A Place In This World: I'll be strong, I'll be wrong, oh, but life goes on

Cold As You: Just walk away, no use defending words that you will never say

Tied Together With A Smile: Hoping it will end up in his pocket but he leaves you out like a penny in the rain

Stay Beautiful: They watch him as he's walking home saying, "Does he know?" Will you ever know?

Stay Beautiful: If what you are is a daydream I'll never get to hold, at least you'll know

Stay Beautiful: Will you stay beautiful, beautiful, beautiful?

Mary's Song (Oh My My My): We'll rock our babies on that very front porch

Mary's Song (Oh My My My): I'll be eighty-seven, you'll be eighty-nine, I'll still look at you like the stars that shine in the sky

Invisible: She'll never notice how you stop and stare whenever she walks by

'Fearless (Taylor's Version)'

Fifteen: Hoping one of those senior boys will wink at you and say, "You know I haven't seen you around before"

Fifteen: We'll be out of here as soon as we can

Fifteen: But in your life you'll do things greater than dating the boy on the football team

Love Story: I'll be waiting, all that's left to do is run

Love Story: You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess

Love Story: Don't be afraid, we'll make it out of this mess

Love Story: Marry me, Juliet, you'll never have to be alone

Hey Stephen: Of all the girls tossing rocks at your window, I'll be the one waiting there even when it's cold

White Horse: I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet, lead her up the stairwell

You Belong With Me: And she'll never know your story like I do

Breathe: 'Cause it's tragedy and it'll only bring you down

You're Not Sorry: And you're thinking we'll be fine again but not this time around

The Way I Loved You: And he calls exactly when he says he will

Change: And I'll do anything to see it through

Change: Because these things will change, can you feel it now?

Change: These walls that they put up to hold us back will fall down

Change: This revolution, the time will come for us to finally win

Change: And we'll sing hallelujah, we'll sing hallelujah

Change: Tonight we'll stand, get off our knees

Change: But we'll stand up champions tonight

Jump Then Fall: And every time you shine, I'll shine for you

Jump Then Fall: The bottom's gonna drop out from under our feet, I'll catch you, I'll catch you

Jump Then Fall: When people say things that bring you to your knees, I'll catch you

Jump Then Fall: But I'll hold you through the night until you smile

Jump Then Fall: And every time you shine, I'll shine

Jump Then Fall: And every time you're here, baby, I'll show you, I'll show you

Untouchable: You gotta come on, come on, say that we'll be together

Come In With The Rain: I'll leave my window open 'cause I'm too tired at night to call your name

Come In With The Rain: Just know I'm right here hoping that you'll come in with the rain

Come In With The Rain: But I'll leave my window open 'cause I'm too tired at night for all these games

SuperStar: When my world wakes up today, you'll be in another town

SuperStar: And you'll never see you sing me to sleep every night from the radio

The Other Side Of The Door: And I'll scream out the window, I can't even look at you

The Other Side Of The Door: I'll say, "There's nothing you can say to make this right again"

Mr. Perfectly Fine: Mr. every single day until the end I will be by your side

Mr. Perfectly Fine: And someday maybe you'll miss me but by then you'll be Mr. too late

That's When: And that's when, I'll be waiting at the front gate

That's When: I'll let you in and, baby, that's when

Don't You: I heard she's nothing like me, I'm sure she'll make you happy

Don't You: So I'll walk out of here tonight, tried to go on with my life

Bye Bye Baby: This is the last time I'll drive this way again

'Speak Now'

Mine: You say we'll never make our parents' mistakes

Mine: You said, "I'll never leave you alone"

Sparks Fly: Give me something that'll haunt me when you're not around

Sparks Fly: I'll run my fingers through your hair and watch the lights go wild

Dear John: And you'll add my name to your long list of traitors who don't understand

Dear John: And I'll look back in regret how I ignored when they said, "Run as fast as you can"

Mean: Someday I'll be living in a bit old city and all you're ever gonna be is mean

Mean: Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me and all you're ever gonna be is mean

Mean: Trying to block you out 'cause I'll never impress you

The Story Of Us: I'm starting to think one day I'll tell the story of us

Never Grow Up: And no one will desert you, just try to never grow up

Enchanted: I'll spend forever wondering if you knew

Enchanted: My thoughts will echo your name until I see you again

Innocent: Time turns flames to embers, you'll have new Septembers

Haunted: He will try to take away my pain and he just might make me smile

Last Kiss: I'll go sit on the floor wearing your clothes

Last Kiss: So I'll watch your life in pictures like I used to watch you sleep

Long Live: One day, we will be remembered

Long Live: Will you take a moment, promise me this, that you'll stand by me forever

Ours: They'll judge it like they know about me and you

Ours: And you'll say, "Don't you worry your pretty little mind"

Ours: I'll fight their doubt and give you faith with this song for you

Ours: And any snide remarks from my father about your tattoos will be ignored 'cause my heart is yours

Superman: And you smile and say, "How are you?" I'll say, "Just fine"

Superman: I always forget to tell you, I love you, I'll love you forever

Superman: Go save the world, I'll be around

Superman: Come back, I'll be with you someday, I'll be right here on the ground

Superman: But I hope someday you'll take me away and save the day

Superman: And you'll leave, got places to be, and I'll be okay

Superman: Don't forget, don't forget where I'll be

Superman: I watch superman fly away, I swear I'll be with you someday

Electric Touch: Just breath, just relax, it'll be okay

When Emma Falls In Love: When Emma falls in love, I know that boy will never be the same

When Emma Falls In Love: She'll call you out, she'll put you in your place

When Emma Falls In Love: Now he'll be her shelter when it rains

I Can See You: Hide away and I will start behaving myself

Castles Crumbling: You don’t want to know me, I will just let you down

Foolish One: Chances are I will talk myself to sleep again

Foolish One: I will block out these voices of reason in my head

Foolish One: The voices say, “You are not the exception, you will never learn your lesson”

Foolish One: You will take the long way, you will take the long way down

Foolish One: It’s delicate, but I will do my best to seem bulletproof

Foolish One: When my head is on your shoulder, it starts thinking you'll come around

Foolish One: And maybe someday when we’re older, this is something we'll laugh about

Foolish One: You will learn the hard way instead of just walking out

Foolish One: I'll get your longing glances, but she’ll get your ring

Foolish One: You will say say you had the best of intentions and maybe I will finally learn my lesson

Foolish One: Ooh, you will learn the hard way now

Timeless: We'll have a cardboard box of photos of the life we’ve made and you'll say, “Oh my, we really were timeless”

'Red (Taylor's Version)'

State of Grace: And I'll never be the same

Treacherous: I'll go anything you say if you say it with your hands

Treacherous: Two headlights shine through the sleepless night and I will get you, I'll get you alone

Treacherous: I'll follow you, follow you home

I Knew You Were Trouble: No apologies, he'll never see you cry

I Knew You Were Trouble: A new notch in your belt is all I'll ever be

22: Everything will be all right if you keep me next to you

22: You don’t know about me, but I'll bet you want to

22: Everything will be all right if we just keep dancing like we're 22

Stay Stay Stay: I'll be loving you for quite some time

Sad Beautiful Tragic: Good girls, hopeful they'll be and long they will wait

The Lucky One: They'll tell you now, you’re the lucky one

The Lucky One: Another name goes up in lights, you wonder if you'll make it out alive.

Everything Has Changed: You'll be mine and I'll be yours

Everything Has Changed: All my walls stood tall, painted blue, but I'll take them down, take them down and open up the door for you

Everything Has Changed:  All my days, I'll know your face

Starlight: You'll spend your whole life singing the blues if you keep thinking that way

Ronan: Out of this curtained room in this hospital grey, we'll just disappear

Better Man: You’re talking down to me like I'll always be around

Nothing New: Lord, what will become of me once I've lost my novelty?

Nothing New: And will you still want me when I'm nothing new?

Nothing New: How long will it be cute, all this crying in my room?

Nothing New: She'll know the way and then she'll say she got the map from me

Nothing New: I'll say I’m happy for her, then I'll cry myself to sleep

Nothing New: I wonder if they'll miss me once they drive me out

Nothing New: And will you still want me, will you still want me, will you still want me when I'm nothing new?

Babe: This is the last time I'll ever call you, babe

Message In A Bottle: Where were you while I’m wondering if I'll ever see you again?

I Bet You Think About Me: I'll bet your friends tell you she’s better than me

I Bet You Think About Me: I don’t have to be your shrink to know that you'll never be happy

Forever Winter: I'll be summer sun for you forever

Forever Winter: Live my life scared to death he'll decide to leave instead

Forever Winter: I'll be your summer sun forever

Run: Give me the keys, I'll bring the car around

Run: There’s a chain ‘round your throat, piece of paper where I wrote, “I'll wait for you”

Run: Ooh, we'll run

Run: I'll sing like no one cares

Run: There’s a heart on your sleeve, I'll take it when I leave

Run: Say you'll never let ‘em tear us apart and I'll hold onto you while we run

All Too Well (10 Minute Version): I was never good at telling jokes but the punchline goes, “I'll get older but your lovers stay my age”

'1989 (Taylor's Version)'

Blank Space: Got a long list of ex-lovers, they'll tell you I’m insane

Blank Space: We'll take this way too far

Blank Space: It'll leave you breathless or with a nasty scar

Blank Space: I’ve got a blank space, baby, and I'll write your name

Blank Space: But you'll come back each time you leave

I Wish You Would: I wish you knew that I'll never forget you as long as I live

Bad Blood: Now did you think it all through? All these things will catch up to you

Wildest Dreams: Say you'll remember me standing in a nice dress, staring at the sunset, babe

Wildest Dreams: Say you'll see me again even if it’s just in your wildest dreams

Wildest Dreams: Say you'll see me again even if it’s just pretend

How You Get The Girl: She'll open up the door and say, “Are you insane?”

How You Get The Girl: Broke your heart, I'll put it back together

This Love: And I could go on and on, on and on, and I will

I Know Places: And they'll be chasing their tails trying to track us down

I Know Places: Lights flash and we'll run for the fences

“Slut!”: Love to think you'll never forget

“Slut!”: I'll pay the price, you won’t

“Slut!”: We'll pay the price, I guess

Now That We Don’t Talk: I guess I'll never ever know, now that we don’t talk

Is It Over Now?: If she’s got blue eyes, I will surmise that you'll probably date her

Sweeter Than Fiction: There you'll stand, ten feet tall

Sweeter Than Fiction: There you'll stand, next to me

Sweeter Than Fiction: I'll be one of the many saying, “Look at you now, look at you now, now”

Sweeter Than Fiction: I'll be one of the many saying, “You made us proud, you made us proud, proud”

Sweeter Than Fiction: You know that I'll be there time and again

'reputation'

…Ready For It?: Touch me, and you'll never be alone

…Ready For It?: And we'll move to an island

End Game: With four words on the tip of my tongue, I'll never say it

Don’t Blame Me: I'll be using for the rest of my life

Look What You Made Me Do: Maybe I got mine, but you'll all get yours

Look What You Made Me Do: I'll be the actress starring in your bad dreams

Gorgeous: Guess I'll just stumble on home to my cats

King Of My Heart: And all at once, you are all I want, I'll never let you go

New Year’s Day: But I'll be cleaning up bottles with you on New Year’s Day

New Year’s Day: I'll be there if you’re the toast of the town, babe

New Year's Day: Hold on to the memories, they will hold on to you

New Year's Day: And I will hold on to you

'Lover'

Cruel Summer: We say that we'll just screw it up in these trying times

Cruel Summer: And if I bleed, you'll be the last to know

Lover: Ladies and gentlemen, will you please stand?

Lover: And you'll save all your dirtiest jokes for me and at every table, I'll save you a seat, lover

I Think He Knows: I think he knows when we get all alone I'll make myself at home and he'll want me to stay

I Think He Knows: We could follow the sparks, I'll drive

Miss Americana And The Heartbreak Prince: Boys will be boys, then where are the wise men?

Miss Americana And The Heartbreak Prince: And I'll never let you go ‘cause I know this is a fight that someday we’re gonna win

Death By A Thousand Cuts: I ask the traffic lights if it'll be all right

Death By A Thousand Cuts: But I'll be all right, it’s just a thousand cuts

Soon You’ll Get Better: Ooh, soon you'll get better

Soon You’ll Get Better: Ooh, you'll get better soon

Soon You’ll Get Better: I'll paint the kitchen neon, I'll brighten up the sky

Soon You'll Get Better: I know I'll never get it, there's not a day that I won't try

Afterglow: Tell me that we'll be just fine even when I lose my mind

ME!: I promise that you'll never find another like me

ME!: I know you never get just what you see but I will never bore you, baby

Daylight: I'll tell you the truth, but never goodbye

Daylight: Things will never be the same

'folklore'

My Tears Ricochet: If I’m on fire, you'll be made of ashes, too

My Tears Ricochet: We gather stones, never knowing what they'll mean

My Tears Ricochet: And so the battleships will sink beneath the waves

Mirrorball: I'll show you every version of yourself tonight

Mirrorball: I'll get you out on the floor

Mirrorball: You'll find me on my tallest tip-toes

Seven: We'll move to India forever

Seven: And just like a folk song, our love will be passed on

August: Will you call when you're back at school?

Illicit Affairs: Tell your friends you’re out for a run, you'll be flushed when you return

Mad Woman: They strike to kill and you know I will, you know I will

Mad Woman: And you'll poke that bear ‘til her claws come out

Betty: Yeah, I showed up at your party, will you have me, will you love me?

Betty: Will you kiss me on the porch in front of all your stupid friends?

Betty: If you kiss me, will it be just like I dreamed it, will it patch your broken wings?

Peace: But I’m a fire and I'll keep your brittle heart warm

'evermore'

Willow: Wait for the signal, and I'll meet you after dark

Champagne Problems: How evergreen, our group of friends don’t think we'll say that word again

Champagne Problems: Soon they'll have the nerve to deck the halls that we once walked through

Champagne Problems: But you'll find the real thing instead, she'll patch up your tapestry that I shred

Gold Rush: And the coastal town we never found will never see a love as pure as it

Gold Rush: 'Cause it fades into the gray of my day-old tea 'cause it will never be

‘Tis the Damn Season: So I'll go back to L.A. and the so-called friends who'll write books about me if I ever make it

‘Tis the Damn Season: And I'll be yours for the weekend

Happiness: There'll be happiness after you, but there was happiness because of you

Happiness: I hope she'll be a beautiful fool who takes my spot next to you

Happiness: There'll be happiness after me but there was happiness because of me

Happiness: You haven’t met the new me yet, and I think she'll give you that

Dorothea: You know, you'll always know me, Dorothea

Dorothea: Ooh, I guess I'll never know

Dorothea: Ooh, and you'll go on with the show

Coney Island: Will you forgive my soul when you're too wise to trust me and too old to care?

Ivy: So tell me to run or dare to sit and watch what we'll become

Cowboy Like Me: We could be the way forward and I know I'll pay for it

Long Story Short: Your nemeses will defeat themselves before you get the chance to swing

Evermore: Can't not think of all the cost and the things that will be lost

Evermore: To be certain, we'll be tall again

It's Time To Go: When keeping it how it is will only break their hearts worse

It's Time To Go: Sometimes walking out is the one thing that will find you the right thing

'Midnights'

Anti-Hero: One day, I'll watch as you’re leaving 'cause you got tired of my scheming

Anti-Hero: I'll stare directly at the sun but never in the mirror

Anti-Hero: One day, I'll watch as you're leaving and life will lose all its meaning

You’re On Your Own, Kid: I play my songs in the parking lot, I'll run away

Vigilante Shit: Sometimes I wonder which one will be your last lie

Labyrinth: I'll be getting over you my whole life

Karma: ‘Cause if you dare, you'll see the glare of everyone you burned just to get there

The Great War: And we will never go back to that bloodshed, crimson clover

The Great War: I will always be yours 'cause we survived the great war

The Great War: I vowed I will always be yours

Bigger Than The Whole Sky: So I'll say words I don’t believe

Glitch: You don’t live in my part of town but maybe I'll see you out some weekend

Karma (feat. Ice Spice): Thinking it'll save ya, now you switching up ya behavior

Karma (feat. Ice Spice): Promise that you'll never endeavor with none lesser, ever, ever

Other Songs written by Taylor

Beautiful Eyes: In only a little while, I'll cry

Beautiful Eyes: Just as long as you’re mine, I'll be your everything tonight

Beautiful Ghosts: Visions of dazzling rooms I'll never get let into

Beautiful Ghosts: I'll never wander London streets, alone and haunted

Beautiful Ghosts: So I'll dance with these beautiful ghosts

Best Days Of Your Life: ‘Cause I'll be there in the back of your mind

Both Of Us: Someday I will be strong enough to lift not one but both of us

Carolina: Lonesome I’ll always stay

Carolina: And there are places I will never ever go and things that only Carolina will ever know

Carolina: But the sleep comes fast and I'll meet no ghosts

Christmases When You Were Mine: That'll have to be something I just say this year

Christmases When You Were Mine: I'll bet you got your mom another sweater

I Don’t Wanna Live Forever: Been sitting eyes wide open behind these four walls, hoping you'll call

I Don’t Wanna Live Forever: I don’t wanna live forever ‘cause I know I'll be living in vain

I Heart ?: And I'll bet you thought you beat me

I Heart ?: I'll be fine if you just walk by

I Heart ?: And when you’re home all alone at night, you'll still wonder why

I Heart ?: And I know someday you will wake up and smell the breakup, realize that we won't make up

I Heart ?: And you'll know you didn’t beat me when you look down and see I got an I heart question mark written on the back of my hand

Safe and Sound: I remember tears streaming down your face when I said, “I'll never let you go”

Safe and Sound: The sun is going down, you'll be all right

Safe and Sound: Come morning light, you and I'll be safe and sound

Safe and Sound: Just close your eyes, you'll be alright 

The Alcott: How many times will I do this and you'll still believe?

The Alcott: I'll ruin it all over, I'll ruin it for you

The Alcott: I'll ruin it all over and over, like I always do

You’ll Always Find Your Way Back Home: You can say goodbye and you can say hello but you'll always find your way back home

Official Alternate Releases

Picture to Burn (2006 Version): That’s fine, I'll tell mine you’re gay

Lover (feat. Shawn Mendes): I'll sing love songs to you when we’re eighty

Lover (feat. Shawn Mendes): Look in my eyes, they will tell you the truth

Anti-Hero (feat. Bleachers): Taylor, you'll be fine

[marofdawn]

Hello!! I WANT MORE ANGST, can you drop some quotes that describes them (levi and eden) perfectly🙆‍♀️🙆‍♀️

This took me so long to answer, SORRY. Most of these are gonna be song lyrics because I don’t really have any quotes saved, and I’m not sure where to look for good quotes 🤧. But I hope these fulfill your desire for angst 🫶🏼.

“I know history may not remember me fondly, but I hope you do.” - not sure who this is by, but someone in my ao3 comments said they found this on instagram :).

This is 100% Eden to Levi. She knows some people will hate her forever for what she did, but she hopes Levi could at least acknowledge the good times they had.

“Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love, time is eternity.” - Henry Van Dyke.

This one reminds of when Eden and Levi were having that heated discussion in the forest, and Eden said she just wanted every second she spent with Levi to last for an eternity.

“Was I stupid to love you? Was I reckless to help? Was it obvious to everybody else? That I’d fallen for a lie. You were never on my side. Fool me once. Fool me twice. Are you death or paradise?” - “No Time To Die” by Billie Eilish.

This song literally goes PERFECTLY with this fanfic. This whole song is Levi’s POV after finding out about the truth about Eden

“I know you’re not in love, like you used to be. Guess I’m not enough, like you used to think. So you just run.” - “Run” by Joji

I see this being about Levi being furious about how Eden kept the truth to herself for so long. This relates to what he said in the forest: “You said you loved me, but if you truly loved me, you would have stopped what we had the moment you knew I had feelings for you.” She ran away instead of being honest, and that’s what made him feel like her love wasn’t completely genuine.

“Were you sent by someone? Who wanted me dead? Did you sleep with a gun underneath our bed? Were you writing a book? Were you a sleeper cell spy?” - “The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived” by Taylor Swift

Literally, thank you to all the people who recommended this song because it goes SO WELL 😭, especially this part. Eden was sent by Marley to kill Levi, writing stuff in her journal about her time in Paradis, and living a lie for five years.

“I didn’t have it in myself to go with grace. ‘Cause when I’d fight, you used to tell me I was brave.” - “my tears ricochet” by Taylor Swift

To me, this whole song is in Levi’s POV about Eden’s betrayal. This line basically explains why he was being an asshole to her after they met again after four years. He’s still holding on to that anger and just couldn’t find it in himself to be mature about it because he still thought about all the pain she had caused him. She made him feel loved, only for him to discover she wasn’t who he thought she was.

“And when you go away, I still see you.” - “Sunsetz” by Cigarettes After Sex.

Very simple line, but I just really love this song. I could see this as Levi still yearning for Eden after so many years even despite the anger he held.

“Help me hold onto you. I’ve been the archer. I’ve been the prey. Who could ever leave me, darling? But who could stay?” - “The Archer” by Taylor Swift.

I can see this being about Eden wanting to hold on to Levi. All her life, she never felt good enough or lovable. Her mother was the only exception until she passed away, but it wasn’t really until meeting Levi that she saw how capable of being loved she was. She felt misunderstood, but Levi always understood her. She wanted to find a way to hold on to him, but was terrified knowing she was hiding the truth.

“It turned into something bigger. Somewhere in the haze, got a sense I’d been betrayed.” - “The Great War” by Taylor Swift.

This song perfectly summarizes Levi and Eden’s relationship as a whole. This line obviously pertains to Levi, but I think the song in its entirety is about a relationship that has gone through toxic times (aka, a ‘war’), but in the end, they still find a way to spring back despite the difficulties.

“We were too close to the stars. I never knew somebody like you, somebody. Fallin’ just as hard. I’d rather lose somebody than use somebody. Maybe it’s a blessing in disguise (I see myself in you). I see my reflection in your eyes.” - “Reflections” by The Neighbourhood.

This mostly pertains to Levi. I feel like this song is about loving someone who may not love you back? Or maybe loving someone who just isn’t good for you? Levi fell hard and fast because he had never met anyone like Eden before, and after her betrayal, he thought he’d get over her eventually, but she still continued to linger in his mind years later.

“Our love is six feet under. I can’t help but wonder. If our grave was watered by the rain. Would roses bloom? Could roses bloom again?” - “Six Feet Under” by Billie Eilish

I think this song is about yearning for a love that died. Levi was heartbroken after the betrayal, but he still always wondered what would have happened if Eden hadn't 'died' in front of him. He wondered if their love could 'bloom' again, even after all the hurt and pain.

This came out longer than I expected lol. I hope you found this fulfilling!

[antithetical0dream0girl]

Hey y’all, this is my first time posting here but I think I have some stuff to say…?

So I was just watching old Gaylor videos from really early on in Taylor Swift’s career when I stumbled across a video of pictures of Tay with a voiceover of Chely Wright talking about being queer and in the public eye. The link is here:

Overall, her words really drove home, at least for me, the very real reality that people in the spotlight are struggling with in terms of their sexuality, and hiding relationships, and not being able to come out because they have so much to loose.

There are a few things that Chely says that really caught my attention. One of these was:

“It’s going to keep going until someone who has something to loose stands up and just says I’m gay… we need a huge, huge star, at the top of their field, the very top, to stand up and say I’m gay.”

She goes on to say:

“Nate Berkus said it so beautifully on the Larry King show the other night when I was on with him. He said , ‘Where are our heroes?’

Now, this second quote reminds me of the thoughts of other gaylor creators that I’ve seen on tumblr and tiktok (thank you to those creators you’re amazing keep up the amazingness) talking about how with Anti-Hero, Taylor is telling us that she can’t be the queer icon that we need her to be.

I think that it’s possible that this theory ties into this interview with Chely Wright. I mean, Taylor and Chely have known connections, and it’s not a reach to imagine that Taylor has probably heard this interview, right.

So the idea is that Taylor is telling us that she isn’t this hero. She can’t be this person, this ‘huge star at the top of their field’ that will say she’s gay and be our hero. How she will keep baiting us, keep queer flagging and leading us on but never come out. This message really ties in well to the message of Anti-Hero, and I think the lyrics ‘I’ll stare directly at the sun but never in the mirror’ are extremely telling of that. She’s saying that she’ll give us cryptically messages, queer flagging, go the long and painful road, but she isn’t going to face the reality of what’s in-front of her and just come out.

I also think that the line ‘All of my heroes die all alone’ from The Archer may be related to this interview. Again with the use of the word ‘hero’, I think Taylor might be referring to how many queer women from history have been closeted until their death. Take Emily Dickinson for example (We know that Taylor draws inspiration from her in her songwriting). Emily Dickinson was secretly in a relationship with her brother’s wife. She was a sapphic woman and no one was aware until her death when all of her poems and letters were found. I think maybe Taylor is saying that she’s hopeless in her own journey of coming out because of how historically, all of her ‘heroes’ never came out and were only discovered to be queer after their deaths.

In my opinion, this lyric also nicely describes how Taylor feels as a closeted queer woman. How she is queer but doesn’t feel part of the community as she isn’t out, ‘die all alone’, she’s worried that she will never have the opportunity to be a part of the queer community because she might not ever have the chance to come out (I’ll talk more on this topic in another post).

A very similar line to this (‘All of my heroes die all alone’) is found is ‘You knew the hero died so what’s the movie for’. Now, I subscribe to the common Gaylor belief that Taylor was originally going to come out during Lover era but her plan was ruined by the Masters Heist, and this line, in my opinion, has failed coming out writen all over it. I believe this lyric reflects how Taylor was going to be the hero, she was going to be the big star that says ‘I’m gay’, but then she didn’t so ‘the hero died.’

Now on the surface, ‘so what’s the movie for’ could be interpreted as how Miss Americana may have originally been Taylor’s coming out, or contained scenes and things where Taylor was openly queer but then obviously they had to cut that stuff out. We know that there were things saying that Karlie Kloss was originally listed as part of the cast… but we’ll never know now.

I think a deeper analysis of this lyric concedes to how Taylor is still queer flagging. She’s still giving us these signs. The lyric could also be in reference to how most of her fan base completely ignores and dismissed her queer flagging. She could be asking ‘why am I still doing this if no one is getting it and I can’t come out.’

Now there are a heap more mentions of ‘heroes’ throughout Taylor’s discography, for example:

Long Live ‘you held your head like a hero on a history book page’

My Tears Ricochet ‘And you were the hero flying around saving face’

Tolerate It ‘I greeted you with a battle hero’s welcome’

Now there are more than this but I think these are some of the more likely to be references to queer themes.

So yeah, that’s my thoughts. I’ve been stewing on this for a long time and I heard Chely Wright say all that and everything just kind of fell into place in my mind. Thank you for coming to my TED talk tonight.