#there might have been a similar poll already?? idk

[curlyflesh]

theory: THE CARGO HOLD HORSE

i thought this scene would be connected to my POLLE = ANYA theory but … not quite. because the cargo hold monster is not exactly polle, is it? not at all. it’s a monster horse.

so what if the cargo hold horse is jimmy himself?

the cargo hold scene occurs after daisuke goes into the vent and because they are out of isopropyl, jimmy has to go to the cargo hold to fetch mouthwash as an alternative ,, this is the first time he experiences a nightmare hallucination connected to his guilt.

his official descent to madness

each of his hallucinations represents a chance for him to take responsibility for whichever aspect of the crash that is presented. we see him confront every crew member after this … but he also has to confront himself first, which is the purpose of the cargo hold horse.

i was trying so hard to connect this horse to anya because of her association to polle but it didn’t seem right … this horse is a literal monster. it is referred to as “a blind beast,” it’s more aggressive in nature, blind with rage, impulsive with power…

The Blind Beast (1969)

this might be a reach but the words “blind beast” remind me of this japanese horror film that not only shares anatomical visuals (eyes, dismembered body parts) as mouthwashing, but also similar themes of psychological torture, dehumanization/objectification, (sexual) abuse … do with that what you will!

and in general,

to be blind/blindness in fiction often symbolizes lack of morality, ignorance, stubbornness, close-mindedness, isolation, lack of perception, emotional blindness

tying that into the ‘beast’ … well, we all know what kind of person jimmy is. our worst moments don’t make us monsters, huh?

“A blind beast, aimless and restless / You can’t run from it”

this note in particular, while it is supposed to be a warning for the player … i want to reach and say that it could possibly be from anya since we know that she is quite perceptive/figurative (like in her dead pixel monologue) and the notion that she keeps tabs on the crew because she is the nurse (like the psych eval) … it could be her venting about jimmy.

“aimless and restless”

we know jimmy is aimless, regarding his lack of skill that prevents him from moving up in the company. frankly, he has no passions and no sense of duty in this career because curly was the one who gave him this position out of pity.

he is very much a restless man. it is reflected in his grumpy, erratic and impulsive personality, as well as his mood swings.

“you can’t run from it”

… not much to explain here. no one could run from jimmy, could they? and with anya in mind … she chose the only available option she had. she didn’t necessarily run from him, but she hid from him and took control of the last moments of her life.

and let’s talk about the cargo hold horse’s functions.

if you make noise, it will catch you. similar to the purpose of the polle centipede, the capturing represents confronting his guilt. if the horse catches him, he is forced to confront his inner demons.

“BE QUIET” could be jimmy attempting to shut his mind off from panicking and … crashing out completely (lol)

also note the fact that the cargo hold horse can only be visible with the code scanner. the scanner can only be used by the captain. this can be a self-reflection metaphor (jimmy looking inwards and facing his inner demons) or it could be a form of irony (curly having already been aware of jimmy’s ‘monster’ and doing nothing about it)

i also want to mention the horse’s design. it is a loooong horse. idk if that could be connected to jimmy’s appearance but say … if you put that horse and polle together, what would that create? the polle centipede monster aka the unborn child.

lastly, at the end of the cargo hold sequence, you have to fetch the mouthwash from polle. we’ve established that polle is anya … why is she holding the mouthwash out of reach? to prevent jimmy from using the mouthwash on daisuke.

side note: polle is also present before jimmy enters the cargo hold, making it known that anya is beginning to plague his mind…

that’s it for now! lmk if you want me to analyze or elaborate on anything else :) hit my inbox or message me! i’m not paying attention to other ppl’s theories so if someone already came up with this then … sorry

[the-martyrfication-of-the-matron]

Tw mentions of abuse

I want to discuss why I’m changing up Garte’s little backstory of being abusive a slight bit but I’m not incredibly eloquent. Please be patient and berate me on anon if you really feel like it.

Basically

Canonically it’s due to medical PTSD, but he’s also a villain for power-induced corruption. I don’t think they presented well enough these two things in conjunction, but we know that Garte is power hungry and has been long enough for Garroth to fear becoming like him and run away, and also for it to shape Zane’s personality into what it became.

This implies that Garte’s thirst for power then started when Zane was still very impressionable, at the very latest. And this does, of course, line up with Garte’s recovery from his illness. It’s likely that the canon reasoning for it is that after he recovered, he didn’t want to feel that same loss of control that terminal illness can cause, and as such became power-thirsty and corrupt to try and cope.

That said, one of the major aspects of my rewrite is the uh… the inherently corrupt nature of the lord system and all those that O’Khasis runs on. Garte, being someone who was raised on and benefits from, and contributes to these systems… would then be an inherently corrupt guy already. He would still be abusive, even if it isn’t directed at his family, or at least not in the way it was in canon. O’Khasis was formed under imperialism and the bloodline of those that enacted that imperialism… is still seated there, just under another title. He’s already a bad person, and no doubt his family would suffer for this.

I do believe, very thoroughly, that Garte was meant to kind of mirror Aerys Targ. We know Jess was a GOT fan, considering… Greywind.. but they both kind of have a similar backstory. They were both benevolent rulers, before a near death experience turned them evil and abusive, and now they need to be taken down. And I hate this. Not because ‘none of Jess’ characters are original’ or whatever people whine about. But I just don’t personally like how often this trope happens.

I don’t like abusers being given an excuse for the abuse they enact upon others. Especially in the case of Garte Ro’Meave who, through the wonders of modern medical science, is no longer abusive in MyS because he didn’t have that near death experience.

The ONE thing we knew about Garte was how negatively he impacted his kids, and they couldn’t even be consistent with it. Zane and Garroth’s dynamic is interesting because it’s two people who dealt with the same abuse and had to adapt different methods to survive, except only one of them was the ‘right’ way to survive, and they’re now being pit against eachother due to the morals they were taught by an abusive father and a mother who couldn’t do anything to stop him. But MyS just washed it away because… garte got his flu vaccination or something idk

Anyways, might talk about Zane later if I’m feeling silly.

Here’s a poll for anyone who read this far. Maybe it’s tone deaf but I’m genuinely just curious.

[mayashwood]

Listen, I know I'm a terrible human for using AI image generators, if I have to go to hell for it I'll understand but this is important social science, and it might be the key to winning the culture war.

My gf and I were talking about an old college lecturer of mine, who was a Marxist, and who had been a particular influence on me, and I said that honestly his indoctrination would have been a lot less effective if not for the fact that he was extremely tall and cool and sexy and rode a triumph motorcycle and wore leather trousers (swoon).

We sort of joked around with the idea that universities aren't able to churn out Cultural Marxists at the rate required of them to effectively combat the inexorable slide towards fascism because university lecturers aren't allowed to be sexy and wear leather trousers and ride triumph motorcycles anymore (and take you for coffee and tell you you're clever so you get a fizzy feeling in your tummy) because of woke.

Anyway it suddenly occurred to me that we can probably gain enough critical mass to tip the scale, you know, really move the overton window if we do something similar to the highly successful bike to work scheme, and provide a generous grant to eligible (Marxist) lecturers for the purchase of leather trousers and triumph motorcycles.

I recognise this strategy hinges on my hypothesis that providing such support to pretty much any Marxist would make them instantly fuckable, so I chose Karl himself, the original Marxist, and conveniently one who I think most people probably wouldn't bang (this is tumblr tho, so I'm confident there's already porn about it here lol) for my AI prompt, and I'd like you ladies and gentlethings to tell me, would you fuck the result if he propositioned you in a campus coffee shop?

For what it's worth, I'm def letting this version of Karl Marx geddit.

Please vote below (idk how to do a poll :3 )

[notebookmusical]

Oh I missed your book poll but my vote would've gone to some mistakes were made! I remember reading the summary/snippet of that book before and wanting to know if it was good. I really like reading that kind of story..and it seems pretty similar to the book I recommended to you called If He Had Been With Me. Which..I found out is actually getting a sequel last week which I had no idea about! I was very excited for Taylor this week so I forgot about it. I think it might be kinda similar to the other book I recommend to you too..The Stepping Off Place. That book is also supposed to have a sequel too! Idk how to feel about the sequels as I thought they both wrapped up nicely but it's always nice to have more with the story or background cuz I did love the story and characters. I've never read a sequel that wasn't really a series or anything so I'm curious how it will be. If you have, let me know or what's your opinion on sequels? I know this is kinda off topic lol but maybe it will influence you to wait to read those or not. 🩷

oooh! i actually haven't looked into any of the plots; i was going to once i saw the poll results but a lot of real life things kept popping up this weekend and so i was not able to read! (which is fine!!) i probably won't get to any of those books till i'm back from chicago, unfortunately, but i am very excited to sit down and read them when i'm back! and yay!!! that's so exciting — i hope you like the sequel! i'm always very nervous about sequels (and also spinoffs) — whether it's a book, tv, or anything else. i think there are some sequels that i think are better than others, and i think it's also sometimes really telling when creators have thought things out through (i.e. crazy ex-girlfriend, where the writers had pitched it as a four season show and had planned a lot of "bigger" plot points out in advance), vs. capitalizing on hype/etc. i think most spinoffs are where i'm often left disappointed (i'm failing to think of a single spinoff that i enjoy more than the first book). i don't read a lot of series (i prefer duologies), but i was talking to my friend jamie a while ago about how the middle book in a trilogy is usually either the worst by far, or the most incredible thing i've ever read. i also do normally like waiting for a series to be done before reading it if i'm already pretty late to reading it! if it's a book that just came out, and i know there's a sequel coming, i might be tempted to give it a try but if it's an older book and the sequel is coming out in a little bit i'll probably just wait! it just depends on vibes too!! i don't often remember what happens in previous books, and so that's another reason why i struggle with series a lot of the time! i also often forget about sequels i'm waiting on, so if i start one too early ... chances are i'll never finish it. what about you? how are you with series/spinoffs?

[deripmaver]

...If I'd known you would post this publicly and not have this be a conversation in my DMs, I never would have said I was ok with you making contact with me.

Ok part one:

I do not for a single second condone targeted harassment of bthump, hawkfawun, alovelyburn, or any other GriffGuts account. I at no point indicated I wanted those anons sent to any of those accounts (you'll notice here I said jk don't send nasty anons immediately after making the [redacted] joke, though I acknowledge that still might be inappropriate to joke about), and whoever is doing it, if you think this is what I want you're dead fucking wrong, and I think you're a shitty person. If you're targeting them based off of my posts, don't, and fuck you. If you're using me as an excuse to target them 'cause you wanted to do that already, you suck. Also fuck you.

If you're a TERF I think the world would be a better place if u were dead. I'm serious.

Part two:

I feel like I'm in the fucking twilight zone right now. Seriously. As far as I'm aware, neither bthump or alovelyburn have said anything specific about me, that's true - but I know for a fact other people have. "There was absolutely no plans to bother you" I literally have a screenshot. Of you. Being egged on by people in the discord server to make a passive aggressive post about me. AND YOU SAYING THAT YOU WOULD (oh but you'd blur the name - thank u so much).

Like idk!!!! I'm not gonna post the screenshots!!! I don't want to post the screenshots!!! I know what you've said, and YOU know what you've said, and the people who I'm friends with in the fandom can trust my word that I've seen screenshots of myself being targeted by name, and I suppose the people you're friends with (who aren't in the server lol) can decide I'm lying. Idk like..... You're aware I'm @/BAGC_Podcast on twitter, right? Is that where the confusion is??? You don't realize that I'm the same person that you've been mentioning???? You've gotta know the stuff you've all said about BAGC_podcast is shitty.

Also:

Like idk, I know there's plausible deniability because I'm not being mentioned by name, but I've def been big into the "victims of yaoi" poll so I dunno. I think this is pretty similar to me posting [redacted] above, who I'm not gonna confirm or deny who that is. Yeah that was petty behavior LOL but there's clearly pettiness all around. If you wanna hold me posting the above ^^ against me that's fair tbh I'm not immune to bad behavior.

Part three:

For the record, these have been my responses to the targeted harassment of other users over the last few days:

If you (or literally any of the other GriffGuts accounts) think it would help, I will make a whole separate post telling people to STFU and leave you alone. I think they should STFU and leave you alone, and at least this weird fucken new account @/berserke I've straight up told to knock it off.

I'm genuinely at a loss for what exactly to do here. I've told off one of the accounts, said that I don't think people should be sending you all stuff about Casca, and with this post I've outright said I think you're a shitty person for sending anon hate and that if you're a TERF you should die. I'd be surprised if this is someone I'm fandom friends with, which leads me to...

Part Four:

My "extremely aggressive and homophobic audience" is gonna be pretty fucken upset when they find out I'm a lesbian who has only ever written femslash, griffgutsca, and casca-centric genfic for the fandom, and who frequently posts about BL and GL and other gay shit generally. My fandom friends, much like yours, are vast majority queer women.

As a side note, part of what's got me heated was the multiple positive interactions I had with, yes, people in your server during the Berserk Pride Fest, and then to see them turn around and be vicious towards me really sucked. I told your server owner that when she DM'd me - not mentioning her account because I don't wanna drag anyone else into this.

Maybe whoever is doing this is a follower of mine - if they are, I don't want them to be. Maybe whoever this is was just waiting for an excuse to target you and this whole situation was just what they were hoping for. I'll say again: I do not support anyone harassing you.

I know it's possible for a queer person to cultivate an anti-queer audience, or a woman a misogynistic audience, or whatever, but I have not done that lol. My fandom engagement is all informed by my lesbianism - I'm honestly pretty annoying about it. If homophobes follow me, that's a bug, not a feature, and they should know I hate them.

Conclusion:

I mean if you're gonna accuse me of cultivating an audience of homophobes publicly I really gotta refute publicly even though it drags this out more. You can send me a direct message on tumblr, or ask someone for my discord name if you want to talk further.

I don't condone targeted harassment of any GriffGuts shippers, you absolutely did intend to bother me because you straight up said so LOL, and I don't have an audience of homophobes.

why r people sending nasty asks to alovelyburn over nothing when [redacted] is right there. im jk obviously don't send nasty asks at all but seriously there's so much worse being said about casca on tumblr why are they the one getting the most grief right now lol

[mono-dot-jpeg]

the antarctic idiots [pt. 3] - c!technoblade

summary; in which two anarchist piglins adopt an ender boy.

genre; child! ranboo, piglin hybrid! reader, slight canon divergence from dream smp, fluff, found family au is my shit, reader is now ranboo’s parent i don’t make the rules, techno is a grumpy father but it’s okay you love him, realistic minecraft? (idk how to describe it-)

pairing; c! technoblade x reader, platonic! ranboo x reader

word count; 872

< previous - next >

a/n; im doing a poll for this part,, huehuehue, majority wins ofc. this part is a bit shorter than what i normally write for this series, so excuse how short it lowkey is.

“well you two seem to be getting along well.” wilbur grabs yours and techno’s attention, the shit eating grin on his face as tommy looks at both of you with a similar expression.

“will the blade finally get a woman?” tommy teases.

“tommy please shut up.” techno deadpans as you laughed.

“as if i would get with this grumpy man. he has some good stories but i wouldn’t exactly fall for him with those alone.” you said, standing up from your spot to dust yourself off. 

“who you calling grumpy?” techno looks at your with pointed eyes. 

“you. grumpy.” you poked techno’s nose as he huffed, shaking his head rapidly at the sudden contact. “a grumpy old man.”

“i’m one year older than you in piglin years.”

“your point? you’re old.” tommy started to laugh and join in with you on calling the other piglin old. soon you stopped teasing techno, while tommy seemed to having the time of his life since techno seemed like he wasn’t gonna do much about tommy. “okay that’s enough kid. leave your brother alone.” you tugged on tommy’s hair, making the blonde whine.

“no fair! he bullies me all the time! why can’t i do the same?”

“you’ll be able to bully him next time. but i get to do it all the time.” you snickered as tommy groaned.

“i don’t like this woman, wilbur.” tommy looked at wilbur, frowning at him while you laughed.

“it’s okay neither do i.” techno commented. you gasped as if you were hurt by his words.

“how rude! i thought we were friends!” you placed your hand on your chest, moving to lean on the piglin. your head rested on top of his as he was still sitting down. he sighed. he regretted meeting you, just a little bit. “are you sure you’re not a hoglin? you act like one.”

“what’s that supposed to mean?” he looked at you with pointed eyes. you can sense his growing annoyance as he stares at you.

“nothing...i sense that i’ve made a mistake...” you muttered, standing up straight as you sheepishly laughed.

another late night with wilbur. it was always calming to be with the boar hybrid. of course unless you both were sparring. even if you two were friends, the air was a mix of mystery and comfort. it almost felt like a safety blanket but then you realize the the blanket might not be so safe anymore.

“so... you and techno?”

“just mere piglins wanting to destroy government.” you told him. he gives you a look. he doesn’t believe you. “okay, don’t believe me then.” you huffed. 

“are you really gonna leave after this revolution?”

“yes. i’m gonna leave after this favor. we’ve discussed this.”

“but what if you like it here? maybe when we get l’manburg back, i can reassign you as-” 

“no. i am not gonna join l’manburg once it’s back. i do not wish to engage in being part of it again. it happened, i’m no longer part of it now. i know i’m being rude but i’m speaking my truth.” with every word you speak you can feel how tense the air gets, it was bittersweet teaming with wilbur and tommy once again. 

“why did you leave l’manburg?”

“i already told you. i’m not gonna repeat myself. how many times must i explain why i’m not gonna be loyal to any side?” you sighed. “wilbur, you’re my friend, but i’m not gonna join useless wars.”

cold silence was the only response after your words.

"there was another reason though."

"another reason that shouldn't concern you as it doesn't involve you at all." you hummed as you dusted off your clothes. "my loyalty has already been wasted, i will not waste time pretending to be loyal to something i never asked to fight for." wilbur watched as you unsheathed your old netherite sword, examining the small chips and cracks in the blade while you unsheathe it.

"tell me something, y/n."

"what do i have to tell you?"

"tell me why you never back down from a favor."

"if i told you, you would have to kill me."

it was a calm morning. but of course it would never be calm for too long. more conflicts arose within the smp and that meant that tommy would need your assistance when it came to those conflicts.

"so you got called by tommy too?" you asked the tall piglin. he replied with a growl that was similar to a piglin in agreement. "don't be so tense, big guy."

"i just woke up. i was having a good nap." techno muttered. he rubbed his temples to soothe the voices that were blaring loudly in his head. “death...”

“death!” tommy yelled after techno as you both arrived at the intimidation tower.

“i guess the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.” you commented, snickering at tommy and techno.

“now’s not the time to comment on that! i have a fight to win! you guys will lose! i have the blade and dream.” tommy looked at his opponents as you watched from the sidelines. another fight already? doesn’t he have enough fights to handle already? you thought. “are you gonna fight with us, y/n?”

taglist; @justahostaccount, @olyink​, @aikochan4859​, @classycookiebailiffstudent​​, @stickk-bugg, @goldensunshineshit​, @sadlyitsme-boohoo​, @jace-the-ace12​, @2cuteforyourlies​, @lvlyjuro​, @kiinokochii​, @anxiousnarwhale​, @jaciahbabes​

[taglist closed for now]

[911lonestarscreentime]

Breakdown of screen time for season 2, episode 14 “Dust to Dust”

season 1 data here | season 2 data here

*please do not repost without credit!*

thoughts and analysis below the cut

so obviously, this is the most screen time mateo has had in an episode! his previous record was around 6:15 for 2x10 "a little help from my friends"

additionally, i understand if you're upset that carlos doesn't have a lot, and i'm not saying you shouldn't continue to advocate for him to have more... however, please also keep in mind that mateo also barely has enough screen time this season and last so for him to have the most this episode, the season finale, is a very big deal. also the distribution for this episode is very similar to the 2x08 mid-season finale where carlos did have the most, and mateo had the least.... just please remember that before you use this data to try and back your points because in my opinion, this episode was a win (and as someone whose favorite character is carlos, i'm not even bothered by this because i'm so happy for mateo.)

if you follow my main, you might have heard me talk about my new method... this data was collected using the old method, just because it's what i used for the other episodes this season and it didn't really make sense to just use the new one on one episode. over the hiatus, i do plan to revisit all the episode using the new method (i already completed 2x01) and i will probably hold off on posting the results until i have completed the season. this new method is more accurate, and there is less room for human error (though there still could be some, and some shots are up for interpretation if that character is on screen enough to be considered on screen (aka blurred in the background, from behind, half face, ect)) anyway, i do plan to use that method for season 3 as well, but we'll see because it does take longer....

finally, it's hard to believe this is the last episode! i remember when i was still figuring out the formatting for this season and choosing a color and stuff 🥺it was a lot of fun to work on this week to week and i do hope to continue with season three in january 2022...

but until then! i do plan to do a series of meta posts about the entire season, and comparing it to season 1 - starting with breakdowns character by character (which i think i'm going to go in reverse billing order? unless you guys wanna vote idk, i do like making polls...) and at least one post about the recurring characters, maybe give nancy one of her own since she has been promoted to main for the third season (!!) and then group gwyn and charles... and i'm thinking about maybe doing gabriel and billy since they played a larger role in 2b? lmk your thoughts on that, or any other characters you can think of (i mean i can include andrea too but she wasn't as prominent as gabriel so i don't think her stats will be that interesting...) and then at the end i guess i will pull together some kind of general overview (assuming people still care at that point... idk how long the other posts will take lol)

Season 2 averages:

Owen 8:30 minutes Tommy 5:15 minutes Judd 4:45 minutes TK 3:45 minutes (-15 seconds) Grace 3:00 minutes (+15 seconds) Marjan 2:45 minutes Paul 2:30 minutes Mateo 2:30 minutes (+30 seconds) Carlos 2:00 minutes

Series averages:

Owen 9:15 minutes Tommy 5:15 minutes Judd 5:00 minutes TK 4:30 minutes Marjan 2:45 minutes Grace 2:45 minutes Paul 2:45 minutes Mateo 2:30 minutes (+15 seconds) Carlos 2 minutes

[embrassemoi]

(1/8) *inhales* *starts screaming like a howler* IT'S HAPPENING OH MY GOD IT'S HAPPENING! Honestly, you have no idea after how many times I checked tumblr after your sbtmas update post. I don't even know where to begin. Probably I should start with moony, right! When he took her flying and asked her to let go of her hands, it kind of reminded me of *that* scene from titanic but with stars and actual flying (sorry jack dawson but remus lupin is and always will be superior). It was just so, so

*inhales too and starts screaming back* HOLY - IT'S HAPPENING! AHHHHHH! REMUSSSSS! AHHHHHHHH - KEEP CALM !!!!!

Ah! now that you mention it, it also reminds me of that 'I'm flying' from titanic!

(2/8) beautiful. I cannot even begin listing everything I loved about that scene or else I would have to copy and paste the entire thing here. "But now, watching her glow, it dawned on Remus that he was holding the golden beam that threatened to paint the midnight sky gold." I mean- I probably read this three times because *screaming* HE'S IN LOVE, YOUR HONOR!!! Also I love, love, love the sun, moon and stars being used to represent mc, remus and sirius. It's kind of interesting sun is actually

I WANT YOU TO KNOW I WAS 100% SCREAMING WHILE WRITING THAT ENTIRE SCENE LMFAO! I'm glad you liked it! It was definitely *so far* one of my favourite scenes to write

(3/8) a star so they are similar and belong together, but also the moon and sun are kind of opposites and opposites attract and complete each other. So both sirius and remus are good matches for her but have very diffrent dynamics... I don't know, I am probably overthinking again. But I just don't know who to ship her with at this point. And I don't think you are going to fast with their relationship, their relationship progressed so naturally and beautifully, especially since the beginning

Well when I was in the planning stages of figuring out what I wanted to really add in this fic, one of the first things that came to mind was taking advantage of the moon and star metaphors. it makes things so much more romantic / angsty and plus - they're there. what am I supposed to do - not use the absolute gold I have at my finger tips? (see what I did there)

and no! I always encourage predictions being made. some of my readers have been scarily accurate and it scares the fuck outta me but they're hilarious to read! Like I had one clever reader send in a prediction of what was going to happen and my jaw dropped. Spot on!

also for the MC and remus' relationship progressing - I had to cut out so m u c h because it really was too rushed. But don't worry, it'll be moved to other upcoming chapters!

(4/8) of the sixth year. Okay, I know this chapter was remus' time to shine but can we talk about sirius for a minute? The way he looked at with so much vulnerability in front of everyone. Couple of chapters ago he didn't even cast a spell at her during their duel and bowed in front of her. Considering how romantic feelings are foreign to him, it's crazy to see how much he grown to care for her in a short amount of time. I can't help but love their chemisty, even after everything that happend.

SIRIUS! darling... I feel awful. I can't wait to write his POV of how he's feeling sometime in the near future.

yeah, I was also trying to go for the intense guilt he feels about everything so :p I love torturing characters, don’t I?

(5/8) And there were so many little things in this chapter that made me so happy. McLaggen already started causing drama and I'm so here for it. Sybill celebrating her birthday. Matthew being the best friend ever (When gaplin family owl arrived, i though something happend to him and I was terrified). Lily finally talking to mc again! Regulus' extravagant gift! But being dramatic must be a Black family thing. I can't belive he got her a ring that practically screams "the noble and most ancient

McLaggen - stirring the pot. sly mother fucker haha!

Matthew made a little cameo! I love writing him :D!!!! I have a few things in store for his arch and ughhhh ahahahahah. and omg! no! If I was going to hurt Matthew, I wouldn't do It this early. (That sounds like a threat haha)

(6/8) house of black" while hiding their friendship. Somebody bound to connect the dots (sirius maybe?), right? And he's with his parents for "an event"? Very suspicious. P.S. Bc I'm not creative with names (like remus' parents) I was calling the bunny furry little problem the second or moony jr. in my head. And as for name... flopsy could be cute. I know it's very stereotypical but there was a children's book called "the tale of flopsy bunnies" and I feel like remus might have been familiar

Lmfao fucking Regulus - or really the black family - always one for the dramatic. I can't wait to *eventually* write more of dramatic ass Sirius.

I've also been referring to the bunny as 'furry little problem' in my head haha!

(7/8) with muggle children's books because of his mother and idk, naming a pet after a book character feels like something he would do. Also floppy and flops were some of the nicknames james used to call mc, so it could be cute (But owl bait is also a brilliant name as well). P.P.S. Can we talk about how after mc comes to his dorm for the "bunny time" (very cute btw) remus said something like "i feel like you're using me for my pet" and in one of the previous chapters mc told him he was using

- also I'm surprised you remember that part about James calling her 'Flops' ETC considering I only mentioned it briefly. Wow! And you're absolutely right, it would be such a cute call back to the MC!

I'm going to be running a 'poll' (idk if I should call it that) sometime within the next few days of a list of name suggestions I've gotten and let readers choose the name! and I'll totally add your suggestion to the list. love it!

(8/8) her for the casette player. I don't know if it was intentional but for some reason that made me laugh so hard. And seems like I talked way too much again thank you for this chapter and thank you for listening/reading my ramblings, I guess. *screaming stops* *howler rips itself into pieces* -🌸

It was intentional! I'm glad you caught on!

and thank you for rambling, as always I loved reading it! Made my week :D xx I wish you a wonderful day/evening 😊

[kindahoping4forever]

Directors cut thing for watch me bloom🥰

I'm honestly surprised and delighted you requested this one, idk why I've always been so self-conscious about it and always convince myself I was the main person that liked it 😂🤦🏻‍♀️

The skeleton of Watch Me Bloom, supporting Ash during the creation and release of Superbloom, started percolating in the week or so leading up to the album's release. I just kept thinking how happy, carefree and at peace Ash seemed and how it was such a stark but welcome contrast to the CALM release, which was fun and exciting but also overall kind of a weird vibe due to the scrapped promo, the issues with Billboard and the beginning of the pandemic.

(Continued under a cut because this fic was RIFE with complications so I ramble for a long time lmao sorry, y'all should not have told me you like long answers 🤓)

Director’s Cut Fic Ask Game (AMA, let’s talk the stories behind the stories!)

@cal-puddies and I wrote a fic about the CALM chaos called Release and I thought a fic about the Superbloom experience would be a cool juxtaposition. (I originally thought WMB might be good as a sequel to Release but it ended up just not feeling like the same couple so I pivoted to just having the stories be companions in theme and structure)

I kept the idea in the back of my mind until the night of the Superbloom livestream: when Ash revealed he went on a desert getaway to celebrate, I knew I wanted to write that and when he sparked that joint at the end of the stream, I knew I had to write it 😂🤡 I came up with the individual vignettes a few days later. (You'll notice it's basically what I ended up writing with one small change which I'll get to in a second) 🤓

The first chapter now takes place late night in Ash's studio but it started out as a middle of the night "can't sleep" smut scene, with Ash coming to bed late after being in the studio but unable to turn his mind off to rest and his girl helps him relax (😏). I showed the section to Cass and she was a TRUE friend and collaborator and said it was good but pretty standard fare and I could do better. So I shifted focus to the home studio, which I hadn't seen a lot of at the time, and it was absolutely the right choice!

Another change was I originally intended to post the fic all as one story but as hard as I tried to edit, I couldn't get it under 10k. I also realized the sections of the fic seemed to have much less of an obvious throughline than I thought, leaving them feel like 3 interconnected oneshots instead of one fluid piece so after much reassurance from Cass (and an audience poll bc of course 🤓) I eventually made the decision to flesh out the sections (especially the 2nd chapter, I was adding to that literally up until it posted) and publish as a 3 part series like it is now.

I was super apprehensive about this decision (I already felt like the fic was self-indulgent, prolonging it for 3 posts seemed like a lot to ask from the audience. Plus the smut contained acts I hadn't written before - and honestly don't see a lot in fic - so I thought it might alienate some readers 😬) but I'm glad I made this call, it reads much better as 3 individual stories.

Last anecdote: the last half of the shower chapter (Ash's "treat," so to speak 🤡) is actually reimagined smut that I cut from a previous fic. That was originally part of a shower scene in my fic Hot n Cold but I edited it because it felt suuuuper gratuitous in that context (and I was once again nervous about scandalizing my audience at the time who I thought were there for soft boyfriend feels 🤷🏻‍♀️). I think it definitely works better here.

Oh actually another similar anecdote: the scene of Ash rolling the joint was actually lifted and reworked from a high!Ash fic Cass started that I kind of horned my way into lmao. Her initial write didn't detail the process and when I suggested she expand on it, she asked me to "guest write" it basically 😂

By the time I got to the smoking portion of my fic, hers had kind of stalled and I asked if I could repurpose what I had written (partly bc I liked it and partly bc I was in danger of burning out) and if she picked hers back up, I'd write her something new 😂💙 And the new version ended up being one of my fav scenes in the whole series! 😏🥰

I learned a lot from this fic! I've always written for me but this was actually a big step in me deciding to write what I want without also worrying about the reaction. Everything in that story was something I wanted to see realized and I followed thru with it (even though it was a much more complex write logistically than I imagined) and I'm so glad I did! And I'm so glad that it seems like you enjoyed it too!

[unproduciblesmackdown]

also i’ve been mulling over the “we’re Living ex machina!!!!” line and like, it still doesn’t make sense Really, but here’s my Afternoon Musings i guess

i’ve only actually seen ex machina once like 3 years ago but as i remember it goes a little something like This: some rando white-collar programmer guy has like, won a contest where the prize is to go hang out for maybe a few days or a week or so with this ~visionary genius~ tech dude played by oscar isaac at oscar isaac tech dude’s off-the-grid reclusive mansion or whatever.......i thiiiink the Protag Programmer won b/c his programming submission was Really Good but also maybe there’s a [randomly selected] element to it, or maybe we Think it was partly random selection but then learn it was actually All “yeah i chose you b/c your coding was the Best,” idk. doesn’t really matter but anyway yeah protag guy gets helicoptered in to the oscar isaac genius bro’s secret mansion 

oscar isaac soon reveals he has this advanced ai android whomst he wants the Protagonist to study / turing test, and the protagonist does that, but during one Conversation Session with this android (who is named ava i think? and designed to Look Like a Woman oo) like the lights turn off and ava-i-think informs the protagonist she’s found a Weakness in the mansion’s security system and hackt it so that the power (and thus the Security / Monitoring Systems) shut down for a minute like this but could feasibly be thought of as a glitch and anyways she’s like yeah i have feelings and thoughts and i want to Not Be Trapped here, ya gotta help me out here buddy, and then yknow ooh the systems come back on, oscar isaac can Observe them again, intrigue.....tl;dr protag and ava keep having these short secret convos and Do plan to break her out, there’s this dramatic moment where oscar isaac (who’s natch been acting weirder and more erratic as the plot unfolds) confronts the protag after the protag has just like, tried to get him blackout smashed by Hanging Out With Him lmfao and oscar isaac is like “ooh i knew you were planning to break her out, i’m gonna stop you guys though haha pwned” but then oh further twist, turns out ava and protag Knew that was the case and were thinking one step ahead and idk but yeah they break her out and oscar isaac dies but ooh further twist!!! ava locks the protag (or well, just Does Not Unlock, As Planned) in some room and leaves the mansion and gets on the Helicopter meant to take the protag back to wherever after the planned end of his stay. and the protag is just stuck there b/c everyone else is dead and presumably he dies as ava gets to exist in the outside world now, idk, we don’t need ex machina 2 where he’s escaped or smthing lmao

and i do NOT get what winston is comparing their situation to lmfao. like, oh rian is like an advanced ai android??? if anything, her being the more like ~true believer in High Finance as a means of socially beneficial effect~ vs winston like, having the supposedly cutthroat and cold Math approach would make Him more of the ~oh no more a robot than a person~ (though i think it’s Ambiguous whether we wanna judge ava as more Scary Bad or Sympathetic).........you can’t even really make the connection that “oh no we’re being deliberately Replaced!!” b/c if winston is [protag programmer rando] and rian is [ava] and wendy is, i guess oscar isaac then, uhhhh oscar isaac most definitely did Not intend to ~replace~ the protag with ava, he very much wanted her trapped in his mansion still........and the protagonist Only got “replaced” by ava in the sense that she took his place on the helicopter out of the reclusive secret mansion. i really doubt she planned to, or would even be able to, like take over his identity/life beyond that.....certainly not his job lol like, coworkers are gonna notice you’re a different person, there was no implication the androids can like oh shapeshift their appearance or whatever, and no implications about what ava even intended to do in the Outside World which is kind of bemusing b/c like, what of the Practical Questions of being an android and needing whatever Fuel Source a robot does, idk that might’ve been addressed or smthing like “oh yeah they can just Eat,” also she clearly does not Trust People considering her only company was evil oscar isaac creator and she wasn’t interested in bringing the protag along, plus yknow the fact that she Did deliberately manipulate the protag into thinking that she wanted to escape into the world With him........but not like i guess she has any choice for any other world to escape into but the one with all the people where she pretends to be an organic human

like there is just NO point of comparison where these situations line up unless you get soooooooo like broad strokes about ex machina that you’d do better to compare your experience to Anything else lmao. like, does winston think she’s some like, ideal advanced version of him?? like you might consider a crafted AI android to be?? i don’t know but i mean i think we have a more feasible explanation for why he’s so Insistent about this totally being Ex Machina, if only b/c as a straightforward comparison i swear to god it doesn’t work lmfao None of these points line up at all with any significance that’s worth insisting on

given that winston’s Apparently Canonically meant to be crushing on rian, and we have his example of ribbing her by calling her “gal gadot’s quirky sister” which is like, okay so the dunk is “you look similar to this famous a-lister who everyone thinks is pretty” and “also you’re quirky, boom” like, i think that could easily be meant as like, a Tell that winston already ~likes~ her.............aaaand it’s also somewhat ~ambiguous~ but i mean i think it’s safe to say that in Ex Machina you may understand the protag as having Fallen For the ai android lady. so maybe we can Understand this invocation of ex machina as being like “ooh person meant to replace me is Attractive but ultimately i think this Overall Situation is a bad thing i shouldn’t feel this way i resent it” like, a bit of a Reach, but honestly it’s way more of a reach to think about applying anything else about this scenario to ex machina, so i could v much believe that the thought that went behind writing this is once again, like, “okay winston’s invoking one thing on the surface level here, but simultaneously he’s already (inadvertently probably) acknowledging like oh also i have a crush on her already”

between this episode seeming to be Setup and the [winston has a Canon crush] and the fact that it probably seems like They Will Fuck A Nonzero Number Of Times or Make Out At Least But It’s Billions So, Might Get A Humorous Cut To [Postcoital] Or A Scene Where They Arrive At Work Together Short Of Breath With Messy Hair  And Hickies And Winston’s Got A Hoodie W/ “Property Of Rian” On It Until He Goes "Oh Shit Woops” And Hands It To Her And She’s Like “Oh Btw You Forgot Your Glasses.....Uh You Left Them Here On Your Desk Yesterday I Mean Of Course” And Hands Them To Him And An Unnamed Character Stands Up And Asks “Daily Poll: Who Had Sex With A Coworker Last Night” And Rian And Winston Raise Their Hands Before Going “Oh Wait” And Lowering Them With A Shake Of The Head And A Nervous Cough and i’m exaggerating but you know, the equivalent of the billions writing saying “wwinnnk” at us. i am fine with them having an unsolemn like, quasi-rivals-to-lovers (or -And-lovers) dynamic, even with it being a bit messy in like, still an overall Fun way, where yknow it doesn’t have to be peak epic romance cuz a) that’s just Always true and yet it can still be overall an okay thing even if they don’t quite get it together / mostly just trade sparks and sometimes hook up and b) idk seems like mayybe rian’s character isn’t meant to go beyond this season, so, an inherent limit there if true

i’m like Apologetic for being like “already i like their dynamic even as Romantique and it’s kinda cute and fun and i’m willing to continue to be engaged w/ this as long as the writing doesn’t completely fuck it up” lmao like, i guess i Did inadvertently give myself time to prepare for this exact eventuality b/c of wondering if this exact character would have A Thing w/ winston whenever she showed up and even if i was like “haha the character could show up Anywhere and do Anything and what are the odds, right” i was also like “hmm but i’m going to really think about it though” like, as always, didn’t think i was cassandraing that hard, but truly did do it 4x03 style where everyone else can be like “you never [made the text post or gave any indication you were thinking about “what if whoever she plays and winston have some kind of romance thing going on”]” and i can go “i only thought it but didn’t say it....doesn’t count” but well. i did think it lmao and why would i make it up.......sorry i had such a head start on Getting More Used To This Notion.......some crimes can never be forgiven.meme.......

anyways natch “intense horrible passionate” seems a little foreboding but maybe she was talking about it relative to [any Normal show] rather than the standards we’re used to on billions, where this was all but a Meet Cute, and a kind of quasi coworker rivalry where nobody’s taking it *that* deeply seriously and they also seem to mutually like each other by the end of 5x05 already so how not-amicable can it get. and re: Intense like, maybe the writing in future episodes will totally upend this, but i’d say rian and winston in 5x05, even when “clashing,” was like damn near laidback and chill. neither of them seem at all that pressed, but maybe even a sorta-playful Friendly Rivalry is more “intense” than, say, a dynamic that involves no rivalry at all. imo “Passionate” is just like, okay, so they’ll fuck or at least make out? sure. not sure what to make of “horrible” lmfao maybe again it’s addressing like “this is a lil messy and they’re kinda rivals!!!” like, certainly not an ideal start, except by billions standards it IS weirdly great. rian seeming good-naturedly amused by winston is something we didn’t get from his longtime-coworkers until like, now, sort of, and still not to the degree that anyone has smiled at him as many times as rian did in like that course of [1 min long First Scene Together] wherein also winston always gets off to a way worse start with people lmao............like everything about this seems Way Better And More Dialed Back And Grounded than usual, actually. but it’s that like, point of reference of “what’s Usual for winston and, more broadly, Billions” that maybe explains this weirdly strong language when all in 5x05 seemed chill actually

anyways like i said Sorry For Already Liking Rian/Winston This Much with my head start and all where like, i’m even tentatively looking forward to seeing where this goes, by “tentative” i also mean going [”i’ll kill you” the office.jpg] at billions where i am fully aware that maybe where this goes *is* a mess and not in like, just kind of a fun, non-melodramatic, not-treated-like-a-total-joke-but-also-not-that-big-a-deal way, where 5x05 could seem like Those Halcyon Days b/c everything from here out just devolves into an unappealing disaster.......but this is an unexpectedly solid start imo and like. even if this doesn’t become like this epic romance where they officially date and if rian does eventually depart the show by the end of the season, it can still just be Enjoyable and Fun for the characters and, god forbid, the viewers, where like, you don’t have to demand we be desperately invested with our entire life in this deadly serious heartwrenching epic romance, they can just kind of mess around and enjoy having a mutual attraction w/ this mathy rivalry and etc and it’s neither a tragedy of “the greatest love story of all time torn asunder” Or, truly god forbid,” this is a Whole Mess In A Bad Way b/c winston’s involved and ugh who could Really like him, being at all romantically entangled is an embarrassing mistake surely, ew cringe we hate him............like, cautiously optimistic in how like i always say that a Romantic Arc is just an easy/efficient way to develop both characters and it could certainly humanize winston an ounce in a show that treats him more like a walking algorithmic plot device and the thoughts of any viewers but us are limited to “winston annoying” basically........the show doesn’t seem to treat rian as a joke, so it seems possible that their mutual Romance in whatever way it unfolds could also be Not A Joke, which means winston’s part in it isn’t a joke, so that’s Some aspect of him for people to take seriously, for once..........like, the way his apparently-already-official crush played out in 5x05 *was* funny but it also didn’t seem like oh it’s a joke b/c his feelings are a total joke......it might seem that way if this *was* totally unrequited and going nowhere, but i somewhat get the sense that the interest is mutual even by the end of the ep, that didn’t strike me as a “shove off, it could Never Happen” shutdown from rian there, just like, hold off on that for rn maybe cue to rein it in a little, not just yet........anyways lmao i’m like “oh yeah i started this post about the baffling ex machina thing” but yeah the point is i think so far it’s pretty solid and i like it and am cautiously but [relative-to-billions level of Hopeful] about whatever developments we’re surely gonna get b/c it def sounds like this has Not ended with 5x05, but seriously @ billions i swear to god. yes so far the approach to winston’s crush here and even their unfolding mutual dynamique and dare i say, romantic interest, is being handled with an encouraging level of “this is Humorous but the characters / their feelings are not what’s being treated as A Total Joke or anything,” but who knows what will come next, this is billions and you can’t predict anything. fingers crossed about it all, though

[atiny-piratequeen]

Thank you for tagging me @cosmicmingi ! I'll tag @san--shine, @wonderlandsobsession and @fantastic-bby and whoever of my writing followers/mutuals wants to fill this out 👀👀 tag me if you do!

1)Okay so Against The Tide was such a hassle for me because I couldn't settle on one name and I resulted in a twt poll and asking my server of kpop friends for their opinions. Alternative titles were Quantum Immortality (from a theory and a Crywolf song), Through the Sea of Time (a pokemon mystery dungeon song, one of my faves), and Through the Eighth Sea (suggested to me by Alma. Bc the "Eighth Sea" is the sea of time. Get it? 8 ateez members, 1 sea to represent them all? Yeaaaaa-)

2) Okay so its so funny because it came before Wonderland even came out, but All Eyes On Me came as soon as I thought of the concept of an ot8 fic centered around Yeosang bc of him being shy and such. That's why there's a lot of cameras and depictions of Yeosang being especially excited at being watched, so I felt it fit perfectly 

3) so I made that AtT playlist (didn't realize the mofo was 6 hours long, jfc that might be why nobody's commented on the songs yet), and I'll just say I listen to a lot of Babymetal and Crywolf when I write. Not just AtT, but in general. Babymetal obviously for the "fie's on her anime fight scene bullshit" and Crywolf for my emotionally challenging (aka fucking HEARTBREAKING) scenes or scenes in general that have a more muted, down to earth feel to them.

4) As far as Ateez goes, I always have an abundance of fun writing Seonghwa and Yunho, tbh. Night Shift has me spoiled and now I'm in love with writing Seonghwa as a sarcastic, slightly passive aggressive being who's honestly just a big softie for those he loves and Yunho...Yunho has a heart of gold and I adore him uwu

5) Jongho is probably the hardest to write for me because I don't want to typecast him as this nonchalant, emotionless smartass, yknow? I wanna give him depth other than "big strong maknae boi" but I feel I might have to do a bit better to write him truer to his actual personality 

6) In All Eyes On Me, San and Yeosang's little cat and mouse game wasn't supposed to take over but I-and a lot of other people-enjoyed the dynamic of Yeosang building his confidence, all while San was getting exceedingly more hungry/sneaky. So definitely San so far.

Though Yunho is creeping up in AtT and yall will see more of that in the near future 👀

7) Reoccurring themes...at risk of sounding like a nut, the stories I put the most time and love into are ones like Against the Tide or for those who have read some of my BTS works, Still Standing. Fics that have intricate stories and characters feel real emotional, mental, and physical trials, but eventually they overcome. I do write these with supernatural, fantasy, and/or sci-fi twists bc i love those genres so much, but I just enjoy writing fics that make me and my readers go through the emotional motions.

8) I've honestly stayed away from hybrid fics for so long bc of how a lot of them sre linked to ABO fics that are written in very...high key problematic and exploitative manners, but thanks to Skunk San, I'm definitely gonna get back into writing hybrid fics. Or at least a oneshot. Idk man I'm giving him a tail. Bitches love tails. It's me, I'm bitches. 

9) I want to get better at making people laugh with scenes without making it seem forced. I've gotten lucky enough to have some people tell me they've laughed from my works and some scenes, so I'm hoping to throw some more giggles in for everyone without forcing it and ruining a scene. Plus we need something to counter all this damn angst.

10) Imagery. Again, back on my anime bullshit, but I've had a lot of people, both close friends and readers, tell me through the years that they can visibly see some of the scenes so visually. From the fighting, to the love making, a lot of people have complimented me on my visuals and descriptive imagery so I'm kinda confident in it c:

11) I know its early, but I'd love to see Against the Tide illustrated. My dream has always been to have something I've written, whether a scene or just my characters, drawn out. Its a little easier since the boys (almost) all have their halloween stages for their demon forms and such. I wish I were a better artist tbh. I'd love to draw some scenes from future chapters I have in my head.

12) I'm gonna pull from my BTS side for this and say Still Standing. Its already based off of a show (sense8) and it would be so neat to see sense8 but with a superpower twist to it~

13) I'd probably cameo in any given fic as that one person in the bg that disses some antagonist to the main charas in passing just bc they're assholes and they aint shit.

14) Hmm...i had an old wrestling fic eons ago that was a hybrid fic. I'd love to revamp it and clean up the wild storyline and make it a kpop fic tbh. It had potential and it incorporated a lot of mythology and I used it as a way to show people about some mythos they may not have been familiar with but I got too ambitious and it went all over the place. I'd like to make it over now that I'm more focused and mature in following my plot.

15) I honestly don't have one off the top :o I never thought about remixing someone else's fic or anything like that.

16) I don't often write about things I'm not comfortable writing with, but I'll probably say my casually unnamed wrestling fic comes close since I was in a very bad headspace at the time and poured a lot of my trauma into the story. It's… graphic. And I probably won't feel comfortable writing that type of content so vividly anymore. So hooray growth? 

17) I've never written an incubus fic to to completion, but @fantastic-bby makes me wanna try 👀

18) Honestly I adore the concept of sensates so much (from the show Sense8, and my BTS fic, Still Standing) and I'd love to revisit it but I'm not quite sure how to do it without making it too similar 😔

19) Both of them are BTS fics, but I've reread @haylokitteh We Need You and @readbeneaththelines Professor's Pet 🥵🥵

20) Hm..that's a hard one because I like to branch out to a lot of genres so it depends on what I'm trying to describe. But since I have to choose, I'll say Against the Tide, since I'm pouring a lot of love and care into this and I intend on showing you all full spectrum of what I can do with it.

[chlobenet]

VIOLENT DELIGHTS ASK DROP 💀🖤

I’ve not been online for a hot minute and I’ve come back to 50+ Gennie asks so lets just get straight into another ask drop under the cut ♡

I need some inspiration on what to write next so I will definitely add this to the maybe list - open to more suggestions as well! 

Ooooh Polly 10000% has a soft spot for Gennie, and Gen looks up to Poll so so so much, honestly she lowkey idolises her. I do think some earlier season Gen could be fun to write so i’ll definitely keep these ideas in mind!

The only specific scene that comes to mind at the minute is the scene with the italian that tommy kills in the kitchen when the chef is like “my hands have blood” and tom says “so have mine.” I think gennie would be pretty shocked by this side of thomas that she has absolutely never seen before. For the most part though, I do think that the boys successfully keep gen away from the gory truth of the peaky blinders - but she does hear about it a lot of the time, and sometimes it makes them feel lowkey bad because they never want gen to be disappointed in them, or even worse...scared of them.

Gen and tom aren’t even a romantic coupling at this point but I can 100% get behind thomas standing up and even physically shielding her from the police with his own body - blocking them from getting to her. At the time gen wouldn’t even realise what he’s doing because she is just so shocked by the events that are unfolding infront of her. After a while they’re the only ones in the room and she would just be blinking at him, confused, upset, hurt. He’ll just stare back at her for a long time “dont look at me like that Gennie...” 

listen buddy, pal, my guy...i love her too sm and I love that you love her and that means that I love you! As for this scene, it’s definitely one i’ll hopefully be able to incorporate into a chapter of violent delights because the way gen and tom are together compared to tom and ada for example is extremely different and it would be a fun contrast to see.

same so much...gen is... baby🥺

now I’M crying at the thought of tommy introducing gen as his wife to people and oh GOSH.

Listen Gen mad or upset is the absolute worst because she doesn’t scream and shout at you, she doesn’t throw things around the room or show any kind of emotional at all really. When gen is mad, she gets real real quiet and she probably wont speak to you for a while and she’ll be damned if she looks at you because honestly looking at you when you’ve hurt gen physically hurts her heart. There’s no greater pain in gennie locks eyes than betrayal or someone doing something knowing that it is going to hurt you - so yeah she doesn’t get into a slanging match with tommy and in some ways he thinks it’s so much worse. She will talk things through though, after she’s had time to collect her thoughts and sort of...evaluate how she’s feeling about situations.

Tommy knows that gen wants kids and he knows with every fibre of his being that she would make the most amazing mother. I don’t think gen would ever really talk about it because she knows tommy already has children and she doesn’t ever want him to think she expects things of him but yes she wants kids more than anything on earth. It’s just sort of an unspoken thing between them, they know it’s going to happen - but they’re not rushing it, when it happens it happens and it will be magical.

Honestly I dont actually think gennie does realise just how much tom does love her, even though he does tell her. She just can’t fathom that someone could possibly love her, little gennie lock, that much. But he does.

Gennie, John and Archie are all the same age. A lot of people thought Gen and Arch were twins in school but nope, just cousins! 

Gen worries about Arthur, she really does. I think that she would maybe try and discuss it with tommy but he would explain that arthur is the kind of man that needs to have a purpose and sometimes arthurs only purpose in life is doing business for the peaky blinders. If he wasn’t given something like that to focus on then he would be left to his own devices and even gennie herself knows that has the potential to be so much more dangerous.

Oh my goodness I love this. I do love the idea that gennie is so gracious that she gives off this air of sort of...not importance but you understand what I’m trying to say. I love the idea of the line you’ve come up with for tom and lowkey might steal it. I think the only thing that would ever give gennie away is the fact that although she is well spoken, and extremely intelligent she does still have her birmingham accent - and that’s just a dead giveaway right there.

I think I’ve answered something similar to this previously but basically alfie and gen have this strange sort of ~respect~ for one another. Gennie appreciates that he’s a dangerous man, but she also feels fairly safe in his presence. He makes it very clear early on that she has absolutely nothing to fear from him and she believes him when he says it. That doesn’t necessarily mean she likes him (initially at least) nor does she really trust him, but...yeah she respects him.

Tom would definitely be the one out of the pair of them to admit his feelings first, but he’s also got a whole world of respect for both gennie and his brother so it would be a bit troubling for him when he realises that wow he’s in love with little gennie lock from down the lane. I think he would tell her, but not exactly openly it would be more of a “please, stay...” kind of moment, where he reaches out and takes her hand. They’d both look down and their hands, and then back up at one another and gennie would just nod “okay.”

Hmmm good question, I’m undecided. There may well be a “its you, little gennie lock it’s always been you.” sort of line, maybe on their wedding day but I’m not sure. I’m not even entirely sure thomas knows that’s how he’s always felt so WHO KNOWS - what do you think??

I don’t think so you know! Not through lack of suitors, because lets be honest gennie lock is an absolute catch. But she’s also extremely sentimental and loyal and she is pretty sure that john shelby is the love of her life and even though she’s resigned herself to the fact that they will never be together because of esme and her respect for their relationship - that doesn’t mean that she stops loving him, or that she can look at anyone else in that way. We love one (1) loyal princess.

Listen, tom and gennie talk. They talk a lot more than he talks to anyone else and he’s told her about the war and he’s told her about the dreams he has and sometimes he doesn’t even know why he’s telling her but she’s just so easy to tell and god is she an excellent listener. She doesn’t judge him. She understands that sometimes tommy needs to forget and he needs to sleep and she wants nothing more than for him to feel happy and safe and comfortable so if that’s what he needs then so be it.

I think if I wrote a scene where tom was having one of his grace moments and gennie entered then I’d write it as though grace sort of ... evaporated or disappeared the second gennie enters the room. Even if grace is midway through saying something, gennie is enough to push the thoughts or the hallucinations away and tom might stare dumbfounded at the wall for a hot minute in astonishment but then he’ll look at his wife and he’s just like #of course.

hahah i love this headcanon and I also think that gen would love to watch tom be around/talking about horses because he’s just so in his element and so...at peace?

I think after tommy refuses to go and see lizzie then polly would suggest to gennie that she go and see thomas. I think she’d consider sending lizzie, but then deep down polly knows that tom needs a sort of emotional support that lizzie isn’t capable of providing. You have to remember as well that gennie has lost archie who was the most important person in her life, she knows grief and she recognises that in thomas but there’s more to it than just grief. I think initially tom would try and push her away but..she’s not having any of that!

honestly idk if hair dye was actually a thing then?? so either gen darkens her hair as the seasons go on or...it’s more of a metaphorical thing. S1 gennie is brilliantly blonde, this wide eyes innocent little girl from birmingham who has absolutely no idea what she’s in for. By s5 gen has dark hair and it’s reflective of how her innocence has been tarnished by the peaky blinders as the years have gone on. She’s still an inherently good person, but s5 gen and s1 gen are two very different women. 

[phoenix-downer]

I'm still crossing my fingers for Kairi being the other playable character. No offense to any other big potential possibilities but we've 2 (3 if you count kh2) games playing Riku for a big portion of the game. Roxas had a whole game to himself as well as kh2 long prologue. Aqua technically starred in 2 games too. I'd love to have Kairi jist to finally have played all Destiny trio members and to see her fighting style. Plus since Light's going to expire maybe the keyblader who's a pure light --

(2/2) will be left standing in a reality overtaken by darkness? Idk, she’s already saved Sora’s butt once by basically defying all accepted logic. I have a feeling she could do it again (plus we’ve had so much Sora+Riku development and even really cute Kairi+Riku interactions, I want some heavy focus on the Sora+Kairi bond again considering they’re each other’s most important person).Answer, here be KH3 spoilers: 

I’d love for Kairi to be the other playable character for the reasons you mentioned, but lately I’ve been thinking there’s a good chance Roxas will be the other playable character instead.

For one, his move set is similar to Sora’s, so it’s probably easier to have him as a playable character.

For another, just like how we play as Roxas for a little while in KH2 and we even have to fight him near the end of the game, it would be an interesting twist to play as Roxas again, this time as the good guy fighting Sora near the end of the game (if Soranort happens).

Plus, if Sora falls to darkness saving Roxas, I can see Nomura going for the parallel of Roxas returning the favor and saving Sora.

And, let’s be honest, Roxas is a lot more popular with the fanbase than Kairi, and Nomura is probably aware of that. He tends to give more screentime to fan favorites like Lea, Aqua, and Riku (though Riku has waned in popularity somewhat in Japan at least) than to the (as of late) neglected Kairi and Naminé, who scored third and fourth place in the female character popularity poll behind Aqua and Xion. Of course, this is arguably even more of a reason to have Kairi be playable, but history is not on Kairi’s side here.

Would I like a playable Kairi? Yes, but honestly, I probably would enjoy playing as Roxas again. I’d rather have him be playable over Riku, since we’ve had plenty of chances to play as Riku already and DDD was more his game than Sora’s. Playable Riku wouldn’t ruin the game for me though; I do think if the other playable character was him, however, Nomura wouldn’t have been so secretive about it.

The one thing I do think that might hint at Kairi being a playable character is that she has been shown on the cover art with her Keyblade: 

This isn’t by any means conclusive, but it’s interesting to note that the only other characters who have their Keyblades on that cover art are Mickey, Sora, and Riku, who have all been playable at some point or other throughout the series.

My guess is that this is hinting that these four (Mickey, Riku, Sora, and Kairi) will be the main characters of this game, but it’s hard to say, and again, hoping for tons of screentime for characters who are not Sora is setting expectations that might not get met. 

But based on what we know, I think the narrative will follow three general arcs: Riku and Mickey’s search for Aqua and whatever comes next, Sora’s quest to gain the Power of Waking and find The Key to Return Hearts, and Kairi’s training along with Lea. It would make sense for at least one of these other main characters to be playable, and fingers crossed it’s Kairi.

Who knows, maybe we’ll get lucky and Sora, Kairi, and Riku will all be playable though! If Soranort does happen I’d love for Kairi (along with Riku) to be the ones to rescue him because of those potential parallels with KH1.

No matter what happens, however, give me more moments of Sora and Kairi bonding, please and thank you! As friends, as allies, as potential romantic interests, because we NEED to see more of their relationship! KH1 did a good job of this, but you’re exactly right - KH3 would do well to focus more on their bond again. They’ve been separated for so much of the series and that separation has NOT done their romantic development (or friendship, for that matter!) any favors. 

Think about it: we haven’t seen them on screen together since Blank Points. It’s been eight years (nine for the Japanese fans). Now, I think Nomura has something special planned for their reunion, because he carefully avoided having them meet in 0.2, but Square Enix in general lately has… not been good about having their main couples actually interact with each other (looking at you, Noctis and Luna and Snow and Serah, though the latter was much better about this than the former). And let’s face it, interaction is VITALLY important for a good romance! Don’t tell me they are deeply in love, SHOW me.

I am a HUGE SoKai fan, as anyone who has read my writing can tell you, but… even I know that if Nomura wants to further their romance in a believable way, they actually NEED to be on screen at the same time. Talking. Interacting. Cracking jokes. Making each other laugh. Comforting each other. Cheering each other up. Lingering gazes. Lingering hand holds. Reminiscing about shared memories. Grand romantic gestures. Small acts of love. Big acts of sacrifice.

And the thing is… every time they have been on screen together so far, their interactions have been fantastic! The chemistry is there, the emotion is there. Their reunions are always the highlights of the games. There just hasn’t been enough shared screentime, and the two of them desperately need more of it for their romance to develop believably.

I’d even argue that Sora’s feelings have been demonstrated well. There’s no doubt about how he feels about Kairi; he sacrificed his life for her in KH1, Xion looks like her because of how much she means to him; Naminé replaced his memories of her with memories of Naminé because Naminé knew she was the most important person to him, he can’t wake up in KH2 until he has his memories of her back, etc., etc. It’s not much of an exaggeration to say the plots of two entire KH games (COM and Days) have been centered around how much she means to him.

It’s more on Kairi’s end that I want to see more about what Sora means to her, and it’ll help if she has more screentime. Especially if she’s playable. That being said, I don’t want her to only think and talk about Sora; she needs to have just as much depth as he does. Let her interact with other people and have friends of her own, just like Sora has friends of his own. Her growing friendship with Lea is promising, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t worried that that’s going to center completely around Xion, given Xion’s popularity with the Japanese fans. I’m worried Lea won’t value Kairi for Kairi, instead the audience will just constantly be reminded of how much Kairi reminds him of Xion instead of treating Kairi like her own person.

I mean, c’mon, she’s the original! Without her Xion wouldn’t even look like she does! Naminé wouldn’t exist! Sora wouldn’t have needed to sacrifice himself to save her in the first place, so Roxas wouldn’t either, for that matter. For a series so big on how special and unique every heart is, no matter how it came into existence, it’s kind of shooting yourself in the foot if you treat one of the original main characters as lesser than the people she helped create! 

To be fair, though, that’s more just my concerns, and we don’t know how things will actually play out in the game, so I’ll reserve further judgment until then.

But I actually have hope that we will see Kairi and Sora interacting more in this game, mainly because of this:

“Destinies intertwine, and an oath becomes power” - combined with the quote about a new charm that seems to imply Kairi will be giving Sora some sort of leveled up version of her good luck charm, if not a completely new one, and my guess is that they will talk at least once before the final battle. Hopefully during the battle and after the battle as well. I have a hunch that even if Kairi is not playable, she might very well be a party member along with Riku for the final world.

And I am really excited about that. That screenshot above at least is proof that they’ll have time alone together to talk, which is in and of itself huge! The last time they were alone together was in KH1. Even in KH2 other people were present for their reunions. Alone time like this is a sign of something special, make no mistake about that :) (Edit to add: and no, I don’t think this is proof that Riku is dead. Riku exists outside of their relationship, and they exist outside of their relationship with Riku. He’s a good friend and knows when to give them their space, that’s all. Riku is also the deuteragonist of the series and it would make little sense to kill him off in a game that seems like it’s going to be all about saving and restoring people, but that could be an entire post of its own and I’ll leave things as they are for now). 

Anyway, this got really long-winded, but yes, I’m hoping Kairi is the other playable character too, because I want her to get the screentime and development she deserves.

Thanks for the ask!

[aparticularbandit]

so the current poll results tend to suggest the following:

y’all want the roisa soulmate fic.  y’all really want the roisa soulmate fic. i haven’t started writing this one yet, and i don’t have the clearest vision of everything involved.  in point of fact, one of the ideas i was planning on using here i think works better for a one-shot but i have another soulmate trope added in instead.  there’s, like, three different soulmate trope prompts at play here.  still kind of working on unpacking some of the hard rules i want to use for those tropes, but this is definitely a doable thing, given that i have that full month of july to start on this. you have been heard loud and clear.

y’all want the roisa university fic. this is easier.  i already have a couple of chapters roughed out and started on the third, so i already have that backlog started.  this one doesn’t require as much world-building thought as the soulmate fic, so it’ll be easier to make a bigger backlog, like i had with carla and like i had with luisa and the fox.  given that i like alternating between projects (particularly between rougher and lighter projects), this is a good fic to alternate with the soulmate fic. again, you have been heard loud and clear.

after those two, which are clearly ahead, it looks like there are two different tiers of things y’all would like, and i’m mostly just going to focus on that first tier (the second tier feels like hm, this would be nice, but want the other things more).  so, that top tier:

y’all want iylhybhn updated twice a month. right now, given the arc we’re in, this is likely doable.  i have a fairly clear direction on the next...ten? eleven? chapters? roughly? maybe a little more?  so doing more than one chapter a month is doable.  i don’t plan on necessarily having a backlog on these, though, because right now i’m approximating 7k a week (sometimes more), and that’s roughly the length of an iylhybhn chapter (i think chapter ten was a little over 8k after the second write).  so basically, i want a backlog of other things so that i can write these more regularly. you have been heard loud and clear.

put jane: the real story on the monday update schedule. given the above two regarding the soulmate fic and the university fic, this may not happen.  i don’t want to try and push for a two times a week update schedule right now (although that has been my tendency, i like it not being...like, it’s an eventual goal, maybe, but i feel like that’s a bit of a stretch).  however, i do see that y’all want more regular updates on this, so maybe i can do these in-between writing chapters of iylhybhn.  these are lighter (mostly but not always) and really cathartic in terms of writing it, so they’re good in-between those. so might be updated once or twice a month, but likely not on the monday schedule.

put more luisa and the fox content on the monday update schedule. given the above two regarding the soulmate fic and the university fic, this probably shouldn’t happen but is silightly more likely than j:trs.  this fic is basically my favorite.  i already have some backlog on extra content once the fic is finished, and i already have an idea for furthering content.  because there is a stronger plan here in terms of what comes next, it’s easier for me to do this than j:trs, and since they’re on the same tier, i lean towards this one. so, likely, but not necessarily.

update the pokemon fic more regularly. considering i haven’t updated either of these since, like, november? december? i think november, this is doable. ish.  i don’t have a clear plot on luisa’s fic, but i do have a clear plot on clara’s fic.  so it’s possible i’ll update that second part more than the first.  this is on the backburner a bit, but i can try to, you know, not wait half a year in-between updates.  >< you have been heard loud and clear.

start posting everything’s coming up rose’s. i have a backlog on this, but it’s really rough and needs some editing.  i think i made it to chapter...i was in chapter three?  these chapters tend to be long - of the 17k i think i had, that covered...two full chapters, two partial chapters, a flashback, and...something else.  so, like, these chapters are long the way iylhybhn’s chapters are long.  may not backlog on these the way i want to backlog with my writing in july, but might.  probably won’t start posting these until after august - mostly i want to give a bit of a breather between this and the hallmark fic because they’re companion pieces and deal with similar themes - or, really, this is the fuller extrapolation of a lot of ideas i had when brainstorming those fics.

so, basically, what i’m thinking in terms of the monday schedule after july is:

update iylhybhn.

update the roisa university fic.

update iylhybhn.

update luisa and the fox content.

and then just alternate that way - primarily because university fic and luisa and the fox content are easier to build a backlog of stuff that’s just done and can go up during the month without me worrying about doing a bunch of writing and rushing each week. outside of that, in july, i want to:

start writing the roisa soulmate fic.

these may or may not be posted as chapters are available after july

idk how big of a backlog i’ll be able to do here, but i can do more brainstorming and writing during july for this

right now maybe tentatively look at a once a month schedule after july?

keep writing the roisa hp au.

i know this wasn’t on the poll, but it was still the highest voted from the last polls, so it’s still high up on the things people want tier

i still want to have an entire book of backlog before posting.  kind of like what i’m doing with the hallmark special.  i found that this was really helpful in terms of setting things up well for luisa and the fox, and i like having special fic projects that are done this way.

again, i plan on this being a weekly thursday update schedule per book

once the first book has been through two drafts with me and maybe goes to betas - so basically when it’s in its third (or fourth) draft, i want to start posting it.

i want this to be the process for each book, so there may be a long wait between each book.

have a bigger backlog of the roisa university fic.

in keeping with the potential new monday update schedule.

have a bigger backlog of luisa and the fox content.

again, in keeping with the potential new monday update schedule.

beyond that, i want to:

keep writing jane: the real story.

plan on a once or twice a month update but, like, tend towards still once a month.

because this is a lot of writing, y’all, and at this point, even looking at everything, it’s intimidating and i already feel spread thin.

keep writing everything’s coming up rose’s.

partly for backlog, partly i just really like this fic a lot.

potentially also a once a month update after august??

go back to writing the pokemon fic(s).

potentially update every other month.

keep writing heart in motion.

despite being on the lower tier on the polls, this fic has a lot of traffic.  not everyone who reads my stuff on ao3 gets here for polls, and from stats, this is wanted.

potentially also update every other month - i have a harder time with this fic in terms of getting into everyone’s voices across all of the characters.

feel free to pursue other projects at will.

this includes aftershocks and the rosalint fic and the super epic crossover and potentially other pairs (dottie/lint, for instance, would be really cool)

i still want to write an epic rose/dottie/whitney/lint/emma fic because can you imagine the five of them working together it would be great.

and this last one, in particular, is important because honestly, looking at all of this feels really intimidating and it looks like a lot and i know me and jumping between projects and i know that sometimes what i want to do in terms of what i know y’all want is not always what i end up doing because there are other ideas that really interest me.  and i don’t want to give up that freedom to adhere to all of this.  but it’s also nice to have a general plan of where to direct when i don’t feel overwhelming muse for one particular project or another. anyway.  here!  a thing.  ^^ also the poll is still open, so if y’all want to vote, feel free, and i’ll potentially change these sorts of ideas accordingly.

[marshmallow-the-vampire-slayer]

MTVS Epic Rewatch #177

VOTE ON THE SEASON POLLS!

BTVS 6x22 Grave

Stray thoughts

1) Okay, where had we left off?

Oh, right, right, Ripper is back!

2) “Daddy’s home! I’m in wicked trouble now!” I’ve always thought the way Dark!Willow delivered this line hinted at a different meaning of “Daddy,” if you know what I’m saying…

3) 

WILLOW: But, hey, if you'd like to watch... I mean, that's what you Watchers are good at, right? Watching? Butting in on things that don't concern you? GILES: You concern me, Willow. Stay on this path and you'll wind up dead.

Okay, let me preface this by saying that, like probably everyone else in the fandom, I legit cheered when Giles showed up and took Dark!Willow down. And let me follow that by saying that if you’ve been reading my recaps/meta, I’m about to get just a tad bit repetitive. As awesome as Giles’s arrival was, I can’t help but feel it was too little, too late.  If there was one person who could’ve predicted – and who I fear actually knew – the path down which Willow was headed, it was without doubt Giles. Let’s not forget that Giles had been a rebellious teen himself who had found power in magic. He, too, had thought he was almighty and that he was in control of magic, not the other way around. We all remember where that got him (2x08 The Dark Age.) And I know what you’ll say: he wasn’t Willow’s father nor her watcher. Pardon my French, but that’s a bunch of bullshit. The fact that he wasn’t Willow’s father nor his watcher does not excuse the fact that he stood idly by as a responsible and experienced adult witnessing how a teenager was in over her head with magic. The fact is, Giles acted irresponsibly and carelessly. He knew. And yet, from season 2/3 till season 5, all he did was either sternly frown or mildly warn Willow of how dangerous the magic she was dealing with was. Come season 6, and yes, I cheered when he scolded her in Flooded. Yet, I can’t help but feel this was, again, too little, too late. A good old scolding is hardly a deterrent for a witch intoxicated with the power of magic. If anything, it’s the opposite. Moreover, Giles found himself speechless at Willow’s not-so-subtle threats. I can admit that, in spite of how similar his own experience was to Willow’s, he might have been ill-prepared to tutor her or guide her in the right path (but then again, he does end up doing exactly that in season 7, so there really wasn’t any reason for him not to do it before she went dark…) If that was the case, then Flooded was probably the moment he should’ve gone to the Council or the Coven or whoever was better prepared to help her. That is, he should’ve done it when he first saw signs of Willow’s darkness. Not when she had already gone over the edge. So, as much as I’ll always see his return in Two to Go as a moment of awesome, I can’t help but feel he failed Willow. Rant over. (but will be resumed, you’ve been warned...)

4) And this is also a moment of awesome…

5) Of course, it doesn’t last long…

6)  This moment is so sweet… 

BUFFY: What did you do? GILES: Contained her and her powers within a binding field. It puts her in a kind of... stasis for the time... You cut your hair.

Damn, I will end up giffing this entire episode, won’t I?

7)

GILES: Buffy, what's happened here? BUFFY: God. I don't even know where to start. GILES: Well, Willow's clearly been abusing the magicks.

But you already knew this, dude!!!! The day you left she had erased everyone’s memories, for fuck’s sake! It was as much of a problem then as it was now!

8) Back me up, shouldn’t this be written on the season 6 DVD back cover?

BUFFY: [Willow] was [abusing magic]... and I barely even noticed. (...) Xander left Anya at the altar, and Anya's a vengeance demon again... Dawn's a total klepto... money's been so tight that I've been slinging burgers at the Doublemeat Palace ... And I've been sleeping with Spike.

All written on this screenshot, of course.

Yes, it’s a super dark season, and everyone screws up and suffers and it’s all #pain, but when you condense it all like this, it’s so outrageously funny, isn’t it?

9) 

WILLOW: I need you, Anya. I need you to do something for me.

ANYA: I know what you're trying to do. And I hate to burst your bubble, but that mind control mojo doesn't work on vengeance demons, so why don't you just- WILLOW: Stop talking and listen. ANYA: Okay.

10) 

GILES Can you forgive me? BUFFY: For what? GILES: I should never have left. BUFFY: No. You were right to leave. We're just... stupid. GILES: I know you're all stupid. I should never have abandoned you.

 No, no, you really shouldn’t have, Rupert.

11) 

GILES: Sometimes the most adult thing you can do is... ask for help when you need it.

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING, GILES?!!! WHAT WAS ALL OF THIS, THEN, IF NOT BUFFY ASKING YOU TO HELP HER?!!!!

6x04 Flooded

BUFFY: I'm glad you're back. GILES: Well, I'm glad you are too.

6x05 Life Serial

BUFFY: This is, this is great. This is more than great. I don't... really know how to say this... but it's a little like having Mom back.

6x07 Once More With Feeling

BUFFY: Oh. I thought you took care of that. GILES: Right. BUFFY:  What would I do without you?

6x08 Tabula Rasa

GILES: You have to be strong. I'm, I'm trying to- BUFFY: Trying to, to what?  Desert me? Abandon me? Leave me all alone when I really need somebody? GILES: I don't want to leave- BUFFY: So don't. Please don't. I can't do this without you. (...) So I won't! No giving up. You can be here, and I can still be strong.

Like, I get that it all sounds so wise and beautiful in the dawn of their reunion, but it seems as though the writers totally forgot the way Giles acted prior to his leaving. Buffy did ask for help in absolutely unequivocal terms. And Giles deliberately refused it. So it’s all fine and dandy with him being back and them laughing it all off. But the crux of the matter is Buffy needed him and he wasn’t there. What’s worse, he comes back and tells her: “you should’ve asked me to stay and help you.” Are you for real, dude?

12) 

BUFFY:  Part of me. I just... I don't understand... why I'm back. GILES: You have a calling. BUFFY: But it was my time, Giles. Someone would have taken my place. So why?

Someone had already taken her place, but for whatever reason (the reason being she’s the title character...) Buffy continued to be the “official” slayer. I get that they were most likely setting up the arc for season 7, with the question of why she was back (a question that she quite conveniently hadn’t asked herself until the season finale...) but can we please remember that the Slayer line runs through Faith now? 

13) Oh, look, Puppet Anya! 

Also, is this where Taylor Swift got her inspiration for Look What You Made Me Do?

[this]

14) Why are they still walking?

Like, I get that it wouldn’t make a difference, either way, considering Willow can teleport at will, but idk, I feel I’d still want to put as much distance as humanly possible between the person who wants to murder me and my precious self.

15) Oh, Xander, your pettiness is showing…

DAWN: Where are we going?

XANDER: I have no idea. DAWN: What? XANDER: I don't know, okay? I can't even run away well. And that's something I'm usually good at. DAWN: Maybe we should we go back and help. XANDER: Yeah, 'cause I've been such a big help already. Standing around like a monkey while Buffy gets shot. Tara's dead... and Willow... losing... DAWN: Well, feeling sorry for yourself isn't helping either, Xander, okay? You know, if Spike were here, he'd go back and fight.

XANDER: Sure, if he wasn't too busy trying to rape your sister.

DAWN: What?!

XANDER: Forget it.

DAWN: I don't believe you. XANDER: Fine. DAWN:  He wouldn't do that.

XANDER: Is this blind spot like a genetic trait with the Summers women? The only useful thing Spike ever did was finally leave town.

There are a number of reasons why I find Xander’s behavior problematic here. First and foremost, this was Buffy’s traumatic experience to tell, especially where her little sister is concerned. Buffy’s. No one else’s. Okay? Second of all, it’s easy to tell he’s only saying this to A) make himself look good compared to a would-be-rapist, which is setting the bar very, very low, Xan-Xan. B) destroying Dawn’s idealization of Spike (which I think was definitely needed, just not in this way.) Thirdly, he drops this hell of a bomb to a 15-year-old, btw, just because he’s being petty and then he’s all like “forget it.” And it’s easy to tell he’s talking to Dawn as if she were an equal to him and Buffy, which she is not. She is a 15-year-old! Why did he think he had any right to be discussing - with Dawn of all people! - what had happened to Buffy without her consent and, more importantly, in those terms?

16) Meanwhile… 

I’ve never found creepy-crawlers this sexy, tbh.

But as regards the plot, the writers were definitely trying to throw us off. Like, it has always puzzled me how there are people who still believe Spike was there to get his chip out and then the soul thing just happened to him. Granted, the lines seem to be hinting at that, and James’s delivery every time Spike refers to Buffy is full of spite and resentment. And it was definitely all written in a way that would lead us to believe he wanted the demons to get his chip out. But, like, that’s what a plot twist is? Literally? You think the plot is going one way, and then, boom, it goes in another way. And if you reread all of his lines knowing that he was actually there to get his soul back, it makes even more sense. Still, the fact that people still believe Spike was there to get rid of his chip is completely perplexing to me. But more on that later. 

17) 

WILLOW: Boy, you just don't get it, do you? Nothing can hurt me now. This? ...is nothing. It's all... nothing.

GILES: I see. If you lose someone you love... the other people in your life who care about you... become meaningless. I wonder what Tara would say about that.

OOOOH BURN!!!

18) How sad is it that Buffy left to save Dawn knowing that she was most likely leaving Giles to die?

19) Giles kind of hit Willow with his horrible breath, didn’t he?

20) Ok, so this… 

…was his plan all along. But like, he was banking on a lot of things going his way to make this work, right? Like, how did he know that when given the chance, Willow wouldn’t kill him before even considering taking his powers? And even if she did take his powers, how could he be sure she would react to those feelings with compassion? (which she didn’t…)

21) This moment, though. Alyson just kills it.

WILLOW: Wow. Whoa. Who's your supplier? This is... wow. It's incredible. I mean, I am so juiced... Giles, it's like... no... mortal person has... ever had... this much power. Ever. It's like I, I'm connected to everything... I can feel... it feels like... I... I can feel...

WILLOW: ...everyone. Oh. Oh my God. All the emotion. All the pain. No, it, it's too much. It's just too much.

22) Oh, Jonathan, what happened to “we will do our time”? 

I get it, they had served their purpose from a plot point of view. They were merely a device to pit the main characters against each other.

23) 

GILES: I know where Willow is. She's going to finish it. ANYA: Finish what? GILES: The world.

24) I love how subtle Dawn is about bringing up the whole Spike thing…

DAWN: This looks a little like Spike's place. You know, under his crypt. What are you doing?

BUFFY: If we can pull these out, we can use the coffins for height. Maybe get out of here!

DAWN: Maybe one of the tunnels Spike uses is around here. Uh, we could use it to get to his place.

25) Dawn, you’re damn right. 

BUFFY: That's the last place on Earth we need to be. DAWN:  Oh, but it was good enough for you to take me there after what he did to you.

BUFFY: What he... DAWN: Tried to do. Whatever. BUFFY: Xander. DAWN: So it's true? BUFFY: Dawn, you may not have noticed, we're in really big trouble here. This isn't- DAWN: Why did you not tell me? BUFFY: Because you didn't need to know. DAWN: Yes, I do. I need to know! I'm not a kid anymore. BUFFY: Dawn, I'm trying to protect you. DAWN: Well, you can't! Look around, Buffy. We're trapped in here! Willow's killing and people I love keep dying! And you cannot protect me from that.

26) How was it day already?

TV show daytime savings, I guess.

27) 

BUFFY: There's... no temple on Kingman's Bluff.

Well, there is now…

28) 

ANYA Something else Giles said. No magic or supernatural force can stop her. BUFFY: What does that mean? ANYA: Don't know. He, he said, "the Slayer can't stop her," and then he said a bunch of other stuff.

Get it? This is the other reason why Buffy couldn’t have been the one to stop Willow just by talking to her. It just had to be someone else, someone human. But not just anyone...

29) I don’t know why I get so emotional with this moment. Seriously. Tears in my eyes, you guys.

BUFFY: They just keep coming. I can't take them all.  Dawn. Will you help me?

DAWN: I got your back.

30) Anya always telling it like it is…

ANYA: Giles? Giles! Don't die. Not yet, there-there are things I wanna tell you. Thanks a lot for coming. It was good of you to teleport all this way. Though in retrospect, it probably would have been better if you hadn't come and given Willow all that magic that made her like ten times more powerful. That would have been a plus.

31) And then, the final confrontation… (I’m crying already…)

You see, she attacks Xander just once, and she instantly flinches with regret and pain. But more on this later…

32) Yet another moment of awesome…

DAWN: What? You think I never watched you?

33) So, let me share some of the highlights of Xander’s and Willow’s confrontation and then – after I’m done crying my heart out – I’ll offer some of my thoughts…

WILLOW: You can't stop this. XANDER: Yeah, I get that. It's just, where else am I gonna go? You've been my best friend my whole life. World gonna end... where else would I want to be? WILLOW: Is this the master plan? You're going to stop me by telling me you love me? XANDER: Well, I was going to walk you off a cliff and hand you an anvil, but... it seemed kinda cartoony. WILLOW: Still making jokes. XANDER: I'm not joking. I know you're in pain. I can't imagine the pain you're in. And I know you're about to do something apocalyptically evil and stupid, and hey. I still want to hang. You're Willow. WILLOW: Don't call me that. XANDER: First day of kindergarten. You cried because you broke the yellow crayon, and you were too afraid to tell anyone. You've come pretty far, ending the world, not a terrific notion. But the thing is? Yeah. I love you. I loved crayon-breaky Willow and I love ... scary veiny Willow. So if I'm going out, it's here. If you wanna kill the world? Well, then start with me. I've earned that. WILLOW: You think I won't? XANDER: It doesn't matter. I'll still love you. WILLOW: Shut up.

XANDER: I love you.  I... love y-

WILLOW: Shut up!!

XANDER: I love you, Willow. WILLOW: Stop!

XANDER: I love you. WILLOW: Stop.

XANDER: I love you.

You see, this moment felt earned. This was a moment six seasons in the making. It just had to be Xander. There was no way around it. He was the only one who could get to her and break her defenses. He was probably the only one who could console her in the dawn of Tara’s death. The first interaction both of them had in the show was with each other. Long before Buffy, before vampires and hellmouths and werewolves and gay love and vengeance demons and magic and apocalypses, there were Willow and Xander, Xander and Willow. It is incredibly fitting, then, that come the end of either of them, the other should be right there by their side. I’m not diminishing Buffy and Willow’s friendship in any way. But Xander was the one who truly knew Willow best, and vice-versa. They knew each other since they were kids, and they were each other’s friends when probably no one else wanted to be. So the reason this moment feels so earned and overwhelmingly moving is because of the history. It’s the history we’ve witnessed since season 1, and the one prior to that, which we’ve been told and also pieced together. This moment has such a huge impact only because of the history between these two characters. Her love for her first and closest friend was the last spark of humanity left in her, you see?   Friendship love is the best kind of love. I’m so emotional right now.

34) Can you blame Dawn for asking this question, though?

DAWN: Wait, is... is that happy crying? BUFFY: Yes, dummy. You think I wanted the world to end? DAWN: I don't know. Didn't you?

35) 

BUFFY: Things have really sucked lately, but it's all gonna change. And I wanna be there when it does. I want to see my friends happy again. And I want to see you grow up. The woman you're gonna become. Because she's gonna be beautiful. And she's going to be powerful. I got it so wrong. I don't want to protect you from the world. I want to show it to you.

 And it also feels fitting that Buffy is finally overcoming her depression with the person who was the very reason she decided not to jump off the tower again at the beginning of the season.

36) But it’s not over yet… (and this is why I think it should be perfectly clear that Spike was in fact after his soul...)

DEMON VOICE: You have endured the required trials. SPIKE: Bloody right I have. So you'll give me what I want. Make me what I was. So Buffy can get what she deserves.

DEMON: Very well. We will return...your soul.

DUN-DUN-DUNNNNNNN!

37) All in all, a great season finale unlike any of the others. And a pretty hopeful end to a rather dark season.