#there may be other things or other characters I hyper fixate on
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meownotgood · 2 years ago
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Do you think you’ll ever grow out of your Aki phase
never
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wheneclipsefalls · 7 months ago
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Grovel Part 2
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Pairing: Aged Up Lo'ak x Fem Omatikaya Reader
Part 1
Summary: Lo'ak needs a plan. A plan that will bring you back to him.
Warnings: aged up characters, eventual smut, lust, pinning, angst, past relationship, mentions of war, injury, etc.
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“Stop whining.” Neteyam groaned, watching as Lo’ak secured another tie around the fabric’s base. The kelku was coming together nicely. 
“I didn’t say anything.” Lo’ak all but huffed, lips turned downwards in the same fashion they had been since the celebration. He adjusted the straps of his loincloth, a trail of sweat racing down his spine. Oh how he already missed the refreshing waves of salt water. 
“Your expectations were truly far too high, brother. What did you think she would do?” 
Lo’ak shot him a seething look, one that warned against pushing it further, but brothers were immune to such limits. 
“You’re lucky you made it out of there without injury. And now knowing what you did I can’t say I would have blamed her otherwise.” 
“Yes Neteyam, I understand. Now can you shut up and help me lift the other end?” Lo’ak stomped past him, preparing the right side to be lifted. He didn’t wait for Neteyam to join him before using his own body weight to heave the heavy fabric into place. The younger Sully brother had been hyper fixated on his kelku since their arrival, even going as far as asking Kiri for advice on potential decoration. 
This home had to be good enough to meet your fancy, an objective that he now understood to be much harder than originally anticipated. 
“Mawey, baby brother. I am only trying to get your skxawng ass to understand.”
“Okay then fine!” The fabric was dropped to the floor in a heap. “Tell me what I should do. Since you know the ins and outs of wooing women, tell me how I am supposed to win her back.” His brows lifted, hands placed on his hips as he feigned bracing for his answer. Neteyam was not fazed by his younger brother’s outburst. After seeing Lo’ak’s restlessness the whole trip home in anticipation of seeing you, he was surprised the male was holding up as well as he was. 
“I may just be a simple gentleman, bro, but I think an apology would be a good place to start.” He squeezed his brother’s shoulder, surprised when Lo’ak was too lost in thought to bother wrestling him off. 
“I’ve tried. Everywhere I go she is avoiding me. I don’t even know where her kelku is or her routines. Otherwise-”
“Maybe I can help with that.” 
Lo’ak sent him a skeptical look.
“What?” He deadpanned. 
“She has a sister, right?” A completely rhetorical question that had Lo’ak knowing exactly where Neteyam was going with this. “Say the right words and maybe I can get some valuable help from Talu.” 
“Wow. How did I deserve a brother like you?” Sarcasm dripped from his tone as he ran a hand over his face. It was no secret that Neteyam had taken a liking to Talu. The future Olo’eyktan was neither bashful nor shy when it came to playing the golden suitor. 
Neteyam simply grinned before slapping him on the back and helping to hoist the kelku side once more.
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You were impossible. So hard headed and stubborn that even knowing your route and home was not enough to get in a good apology. He was sure by now that Talu knew of his intentions with you, that giddy smile forever present whenever she announced his presence to you, but there was always an excuse to cut things short. Only a few minutes and you would be running off to aid at the healer’s tent or pick up the hunting gear you had left behind. 
There was no end to the list of excuses you could formulate.
And it didn’t matter that neither himself nor Talu were fooled. You simply weren’t inclined to put more effort into hiding your disdain. 
Lo’ak couldn’t remember you being this difficult before. When the two of you were younger you had handed your heart over to him on a silver platter. Of course your weird friendship had been full of teasing, pranks, and insults but that was only part of the fun. Once romance had been initiated, you took everything he gave with warmth and affection. 
And he had ruined that. 
He let out another sigh, trying to play it off when his mother gave him the side eye. His new bow was almost finished, surely the right weapon he would need to fetch an impressive kill. Perhaps he would use his spear too just in case. If he was going to win you over, it would need to be something extreme. Something that said all the words you would not let him get out. 
At this point he was willing to take down a Palulukan if that is what it took. 
He snorted at the thought. It may have been a few years since hunting on Omatikaya soil but he knew that thing would have him torn in two. Maybe then he would get your attention, whatever remained of his body finally being enough to crack your tough composure. 
And then….
What started out as a ridiculously funny thought transformed into a new idea. A new plan. There was in fact one place that you could not run away from. 
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The healer’s tent had been slow in mid afternoon but luckily you were the only one on duty. When he walked through the tent flaps reverently, not bothering to hide the wince as his freshly torn up skin brushed the fabric, your lips parted. For a moment it seemed that concern swam in those beautiful eyes but then they were turning back into cold steel like that night at the festival. 
“Kind of underestimated the swoop-”
He was cut off by your stern point to the space in front of you. He followed obediently but on the way he couldn’t help but let his gaze roam over your exquisite form. He had meant what he had said that first night. You were more beautiful than the day he last saw you, a goddess-like creature even his wildest dreams could not have imagined. 
Today you wore a turquoise top made of small beads that were strung together to hang like vines. The color reminded him of the waters in Awa’atlu. Could that be your favorite color now? If so, he knew of so many places such gems and shells of that color. He could collect more for you. The beads mocked him, however, as their light weight cover just barely fell over your pretty nipples, one breath away from revealing the prize. 
Hell, he was sure the right puff of air from his lips could push away those teasing beads. 
As you began to work on applying ointment to his wounds Lo’ak forced himself to look away. However, he couldn’t find reason to not occasionally peak back and get a look at your pretty face. By Eywa, it was a true miracle that no one had snatched you up yet. Maybe he would thank the Great Mother for that gift at the Tree of Souls later. 
At one point your diligence fell and strayed from the wounds to glance at him instead. He flashed a grin, one that didn’t match the state of his bloody back. You shoved his head to look forward roughly but he had already caught a glimpse of your rosy cheeks. 
“You got injured how again?” 
“Flying error, it’s been a while. Why?” 
“No reason.” 
Silence fell and Lo’ak had to keep himself from fumbling with his messy bun. You may be difficult now but one thing was still true. You always wore your heart on your sleeve. 
“You don’t have to be worried, sevin-”
A sharp smack to the back of his head and Lo’ak couldn’t hide his surprised laugh. 
“Damn, you’ve got a pretty good backhand.” 
“Hush. I am trying to concentrate.” 
It was sure to be a lie. His wounds were nothing in comparison to what you must have encountered during the war and with your experience you would have him healed and out in a few minutes. But then that meant he only had a very small window to squeeze this apology into. 
“Don’t worry, I will behave.” He raised his hands in surrender but received only a little hum from you in response. “But while we’re here there is something I’ve been wanting to say.” 
Lo’ak hissed when the ointment was applied harshly to his deepest cut. It was nothing he couldn’t handle after so many war wounds but it did manage to lose him a few seconds of precious time. Had that been your intent?
“When we were kids I was…an absolute skxawng.” No argument came from you and Lo’ak glanced back from the corner of his eye. “I was more than a skxawng actually. I was reckless and angry and I didn’t even think about how my actions would affect others. Especially you and-”
“I don’t care. It is done.” Without Talu’s presence there was no incentive to dampen the ice in your voice. 
“Y/n,” He called your name softly, turning to grab your wrist and stop the movement. “I am sorry. I never should have hurt you like that. I knew better, especially….” He let out a deep sigh through his nose. “Especially considering how much I truly did love you.” 
You yanked your wrist back as if his grip was red hot. Scrambling away slightly, he could see the control you had over the moment slipping. It seemed like the perfect opportunity to push it further, get you to accept his apology. 
Unfortunately for him, Eywa must have decided that it was also the perfect time for the next healer to enter the tent. 
“There were hardly any herbs left by the river. Next time we try the mountains instead.” Penyau said, the smile on her face slowly dropping once sensing the tension in the room. 
“Great. Lo’ak needs patching up, sister.” 
“Oh, well then-”
“No, no. Y/N is already on it-”
“I’m passing you over.”
“You truly don’t care to finish healing the Na’vi that was put under your care?” Not the angle he wanted to take, but he was panicking. So desperate to get a few more minutes with you that he had to stop himself from using his grandmother as a scapegoat to keep you here. 
From the way your jaw clenched and tail curled he knew those cards would not have played well for him. 
“Talu is waiting. I leave.” You gritted out. Not a second to make another attempt or ever apologize before you were past the threshold and leaving him in the dust. Or at least, leaving him with Penyau who looked confused but more than happy to assist him. The smile she gave, however, did not hold the same sweetness as yours.
Or at least the smile he remembered from all those years ago.
He prayed he would see it again soon. 
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A part of you wanted to insist upon staying home. Well no, all of you wanted to insist but if there was one thing you had learned from working with Mo’at is that there was no hope in defying her. If she saw it fit to bring you to the council meeting then that is exactly what you would have to do. Jake Sully was back as Olo’eyktan and with that came his sons’ attendance too. You were not foolish enough to hope otherwise, but there would surely be others there you could occupy your time with.
Even Tarsem had become a close friend of yours, as close as a clan member can dare to get to an Olo’eyktan, but conversation would be light and easy with him. If you were lucky perhaps you would be able to leave the meeting early as your sector of concern was far more narrow, giving you a chance to escape the inevitable small talk afterwards. 
Luck, however, was not on your side. It seemed that Mo’at had deemed you her scribe for the meeting and that meant taking up every single detail presented. It was borderline impossible with the way Lo’ak’s eyes constantly strayed towards you. You’d think the male would have the decency to keep his staring at a minimum for public appearance.
Of course Lo’ak had never been afraid of attention.
That trait evidently had remained with him after all these years. 
“Morning shift can circle northbound while overlapping with the afternoon watch.” Jake continued, using a twig to draw over their makeshift map in the dirt. It felt like he was speaking another language with the way your brain refused to concentrate. Jake might as well have switched into English with the rate you were comprehending. 
“Lo’ak and Neteyam will be available by the end of the week once everything is settled in.” 
You were so lost at this point it wasn’t even funny. Mo’at was going to have your head. As if sensing your confusion, the younger Sully brother said softly, “yes, for teaching.” 
It didn’t clear things up much but Lo’ak had decided to start tying his hair back up into that damn bun again and you found yourself more dazed than in the beginning. Out of pure will power you resisted the urge to watch him dead on, unlike him. Watching those biceps stretch as he worked to wrestle those braids was still possible from your peripheral. 
Another twist in your stomach. 
Lo’ak relaxed backwards, long legs stretched out in front of him as Jake Sully continued his long speel. The meeting could have dragged on for centuries for all you knew and yet that twisting coil in your stomach never loosened. You felt like you were about to snap when the Olo’eyktan finally called for dismissal. 
Up to your feet in a matter of seconds, Mo’at shot you a strange look. The tips of your ears burned as you tried to play it off and wait patiently for her. The meeting may have been over but that didn’t mean you were meant to leave her side. Most likely she would have other work for you to accomplish this afternoon and even if not it would be rude to not walk your Tsahik back to Home Tree. 
“I’ve got it, grandmother.” Lo’ak easily switched Mo’at’s basket over to rest on his own hip. She gave him a nod and pat on the shoulder. 
Swinging the netted bag of herbs and medicinals over your shoulder you focused primarily on the path ahead. 
“Let me get that, sevin.” Lo’ak reached for your bag but with flaming cheeks you barely managed to deflect his advances and snap away. 
The effort was pointless however when Mo’at gently grabbed the bag from your shoulder and handed it to him. An almost imperceivable smirk graced her lips at your perplexed expression but otherwise she remained silent. Slightly baffled and now avoiding Lo’ak’s unrelenting attention you veered to pick up the pace. 
Now that he held your bag hostage there was no choice but to let him follow you both back to the healer’s tent. At least that’s what you thought until….
Mo’at let out a tired sigh and that was all it took for Lo’ak to insist she go home and get some rest. He assured her he would get the supplies back to the tent and walk you home safely, both actions that made you glare at him over her shoulder. The Tsahik, tired or not you couldn’t be sure, bid you farewell and gave her grandson another gentle squeeze to his shoulder. 
The second she was out of sight you went for your bag. Lo’ak easily swiped away from your grabbing hands.
“Don’t worry, I’ve got it.” 
Despite his warm smile he was only met with unspoken annoyance that seeped into the atmosphere’s tension. If he wanted to walk you home, fine, but you were going to get it done in record time. Without another word you scrambled up the nearest tree, deciding to take the overhead route to avoid traffic. 
You could hear the clanking bags and basket as Lo’ak had to find ways to follow behind with only one arm to propel himself upwards. You secretly resented the way he managed just fine, despite the obstacle, long legs rushing over branches like they had only left the forest for a day.  
“Is your plan to avoid me forever?” 
Teeth grinding together you grabbed hold of another branch over head and propelled yourself up the next level. This time was more of a struggle, several vials almost falling out of the basket but that only earned him one concerned glance before you were striding forward once more. 
“I meant what I said yesterday. I truly am sorry.”
“Yes, I heard you.” The tempo you set with your feet borderlined running. Lo’ak’s struggle became ever more apparent as the two of you scaled higher. 
“Well yes I know that…shit!” A vial slipped from the basket, Lo’ak immediately lunged to catch it. You carried forward, trying not to think about how he almost lost the precious herbs that took you weeks to find and gather. “Got it!” He called but you were already several branches above. 
With this head start you may just be able to outrun the Omatikaya prince and make it home safely. 
Distant curses sounded from below followed by scrambling feet. 
When will he ever give up?
It’s hard to say what Lo’ak did during his time with the Metkayina but you were surprised, and slightly displeased, to see how capable Lo’ak had grown in his tree climbing. Although, now he had found a way to shimmy himself up a trunk with only his muscular legs to aid. The sheer athleticism required to do such made your head spin and cheeks heat.
Straight home. 
No detours. 
“Y/N, wait up.” 
He was closer than you would have liked, no doubt a result of your short attention span. 
“Come on, sevin. Does your determination to ignore me really warrant all of this?” 
Your temper was always an easy one to flare and when it came to Lo’ak Sully it seemed he had written the manual on how to light that flame. Turning on your heel, Lo’ak had to grind to a quick halt in order to avoid running into you again. It felt all too familiar to the celebration the other night so this time you spoke before he had a chance to get a word in. 
“Maybe so, but what does it matter to you?!” Nostrils flaring and breathing heavily it was no longer possible to hide how fast the male had gotten under your skin. 
“It’s admittedly more difficult to court a woman that won’t even let me be in her presence.” 
The savage words on the tip of your tongue stuttered and your treacherous body rippled with excitement. 
“You aren’t courting me.” 
“Well, I suppose that’s fair. I technically have not initiated courting yet.” 
“No Lo’ak, you will not court me. Ever.” Words like unbending steel the male’s eyes locked with your own and this time you found ways to not balk under his attention. When it seemed that nothing else was going to be said you turned on your heel once more. 
And then Lo’ak finally spoke. 
“I don’t see how you could stop me.” He murmured gruffly but the words immediately struck your temper like daggers. A bullseye shot. 
“Lo’ak Te Sulli-”
“Sevin, just listen for two seconds!” 
“Do not call me that!” Your voice hitched into a higher octave. 
“I’m sorry I just-”
“NO!” Your shriek echoed over the branches. Heated venom coursed through your veins. “You push and push and push but I am sick of hearing it!” More words threatened to fly free but your heart was already pounding at your ribcage. Stay one more second and you were sure to find yourself saying much more than you ever cared to.
“I’m not going to give up.”
Those bubbling truths refused to be swallowed any more.
“You say that now, Lo’ak, but just wait. Soon you will grow tired of chasing after me and when you do there will be a plethora of women waiting at your beck and call. Just like before there will be another woman to entertain you where I could not.” 
Lo’ak’s eyes blew wide and tail dropped to the floor but even then it would only be a few seconds before he made another pleaful attempt. And you couldn’t take any more of that. Those golden eyes covered by his signature two braids already beseeched your forgiveness far too easily. 
“And once again you will go to her.” 
He called your name as you left but you were already scrambling to safety. 
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It was going to take a grand gesture. One that would prove his loyalty to not only you but every Na’vi in the clan. Your forgiveness was not going to be an easy thing to win over but that was okay. Lo’ak had dealt with far worse for so much less. Enduring some verbal bashing and humbling circumstances was the least he could do to win the woman of his dreams. 
And yet…it still hurt. 
The way you shut him out, not letting him learn even a morsel about the girl he had been missing for years. How much time had he spent imagining your reunion? Perhaps all of his dreams and hopes had clouded his sense of reality because now he stood here with only a shattered fantasy left. He had fooled himself for too long, thinking the past could be something swept away with the turning of time. 
He had wounded you too deep for that.
So much deeper than he had ever let himself accept. 
With a heavy sigh Lo’ak commanded his heart to settle. Today he could not afford doubts to plague his mind. Everything from here on out had to be intentional, had to send a message. Your discerning eye would be sharper to him than any other potential suitor that would court a woman. Each move would be assessed and either take him closer or further away from holding you in his arms again. 
He checked over the supplies one more time, finger slipping into the pouch attached to his loincloth. Everything was in place.
“We can’t be late.” He reminded Neteyam, messing with his bun until he was satisfied with the way it sat.
“Someone is eager.” Neteyam's lips curved upwards as he leisurely took another bite of yovo. “Usually I am the one rushing us out the door.” 
“Things can change. I can be responsible too.” He shucked Neteyam’s bag over his own shoulder, ready to leave with or without his brother. 
Neteyam rolled his eyes, heaving himself up from his seated position. 
“Yes but what good is it without her here to watch you do so, baby brother?” His fingers barely touched Lo’ak’s braids before the younger brother was swooping away and swatting at his arm. The death glare sent his way only made a deep chuckle rise in Neteyam’s chest. 
Neteyam’s jesting was all in good fun but Lo’ak was far from in the mood to look at things that way. Over and over your words from the other day had echoed in his head. Your tone was drenched in steel cold enmity but even that couldn’t mask the pain that was seated in your golden orbs. His own childhood recklessness had put him at this point and now it was all he could think about. 
Setting things up for today’s lesson, however, had helped. It gave him an outlet, some way to use these swirling emotions and put them into something useful. Lo’ak Sully was not one to give up easily, no matter what you said. 
Gun to head Lo’ak would not be able to recite a word of what his brother spoke as they walked to the lake’s edge. The pounding of his heart was far too loud and it seemed his attention didn’t matter anyways when Neteyam’s own was easily captured by your sister. Without so much as a goodbye, he stalked towards the female Na’vi and left him behind. 
The rocks were littered with various warriors and clan members in his age group. His father had thought it would be best to keep it within a demographic that they could relate to, make these lessons more personal. And yet Lo’ak had never felt more out of place. At one point in time these people had been his peers but things had been so different then. A time that was hard to remember, like a distant dream. 
Only the memories of you had not been tainted with the passing of time. He blamed all of those days at the reef where his head had been filled with thoughts of you. It was hard to forget the one his heart longed for. Even his fling with Tsireya could not erase the mark you had left on him. 
He finally caught sight of where you were perched next to another warrior. 
Your eyes only skimmed over him for a second before turning away.
You thought that it was only a matter of time or opportunity before he would be swept away and wooed by another. Perhaps if you were right things would be so much easier. And yet the tug of his heart always brought him back to you. His inability to move on was not from a lack of effort. 
So many one night stands and summer flings only for every single one to feel hollow and robotic. 
You couldn’t have known that, however, and it was Lo’ak’s job to find a way to prove it to you.
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There were a million different excuses you could have conjured up to avoid these lessons. Some of them had almost slipped out this morning as Talu babbled on about how excited she was to see the eldest Sully son. However, you were mature enough to face the hard truths. Coping out now would be negligent to your duties as a useful clan member. If Olo’eyktan found it vital that the next generation learned about underwater diving then it was your responsibility to add those skills to your arsenal. 
It had been a couple days of successfully avoiding Lo’ak and now it seemed such a shame to break the streak. You refused to let those pesky thoughts bother you today however. You were her for one purpose and one purpose only. Master the art of free-diving and return to your new found peace and quiet. 
Naturally Lo’ak was greeted with quite the welcoming party, Na’vi females coaxing him over to hear about his travels. Rolling your eyes you prayed that Neteyam wouldn’t catch wind of your sour demeanor. All your worries were for not. His charming smile never strayed from your sister. Talu was skilled at putting up a calm front but you knew her well enough to sense that she was bubbling from the inside. 
You were going to hear about this conversation all night. 
Relief was temporarily found when the lessons started and instruction was finally given. The water was cool against your heated skin and you enjoyed the way it made your hair dance. Drill after drill you struggled to hold your breath longer. It felt as if your lungs were about to explode as you tried to suck in more air before plunging in again. 
Lo’ak and Neteyam would demonstrate then invite the crowd to mimic while they inspected and instructed along the way. It helped that you were not the only Na’vi who had no natural inclination towards these talents. Many came up to the surface choking on water and pushing hair from their face.  The lake looked more like an active river with the pulsing waves and splashes that emitted from every corner.
You had to give the brothers credit. No matter how ridiculous you all must have looked they never let themselves show visible signs of judgment or even laughter. 
It was far too easy to find Lo’ak in the midst. Even underwater he moved with a grace and calm that seemed so unlike him. It felt as if the water swirled to make way for him. He moved in sync with the pulse of Na’vi-made waves, cresting over them like a dance. Muscular frame floating through the abyss, he was a work of art among flailing limbs. 
He looked relaxed enough to fall asleep. His descent deeper was treated like an afternoon stroll. Your own dimming supply of air faded into the background as you found yourself swimming down after him. It was hard to keep up. Every long stroke of his was at least four of yours and still it felt as if that distance only grew with every passing second. 
He reached the bottom with one last kick, fingers carting through the various stones that lay there. Your brows furrowed as his own expression remained unperturbed. Finally a small smile broke loose when he caught hold of one rock in particular. It shimmered even in the daylight and Lo’ak made quick work to tuck it into the pouch at his side.
The first convulsing of your empty lungs was what broke you out of the trance. Lo’ak and his rock hunting was completely forgotten as your body screamed for oxygen. Now your turn to flail helplessly, you clawed towards the surface. Your lips pressed together, trying to focus on not giving into the urge of letting water in. 
How had you gotten so far down here in the first place?
The water’s surface looked so close and yet every kick only seemed to make it further away. It was an optical illusion that had your fear spiking with every second you couldn’t take in air. You hardly registered the strong arm that wrapped around your waist until your convulsing body was flying through the water. 
It was a miracle your own legs didn’t tangle with Lo’ak’s as they kicked out, but he had both of your bodies plunging upwards at a speed you could barely register. It seemed that your lungs simply could not get enough oxygen when your head finally broke through the surface. Your lungs still convulsed and your throat seized at every gasping breath.
“Just breathe. Nice and slow.” His deep voice tickled at your ear. Na’vi parted as you were floated over to the nearest shore. “There you go. In and out.” 
It seemed like a simple instruction but your body refused to snap out of panic mode. Fingernails digging into his forearms you tried to dislodge the residue water from your lungs. One arm under your back and another beneath your bent knees, Lo’ak easily carried your shaking body onto shore. He sat down, gently settling you between his parted legs while cooing encouragement. 
“Just focus on one breath at a time. Come on, do it with me, sevin.” His chest inflated against your back before slowly exhaling. You followed his lead. “That’s it. Try to breathe from here.” He placed his palm against your diaphragm. Eager to diminish the embarrassment that was creeping in, you zeroed in on acing his request. 
Breathing this way felt more physical, stretching your lungs to a point you didn’t know they could reach but every exhale brought your heart rate one further step down. 
“Very good.” 
The praise washed over you like a warm flame. Finally it felt as if your body was complying with your wishes, relaxing back against his chest. Your earlier fears of drowning were quickly reshaping to seem as nothing more than overreaction. Relief was sweet.
“Slow your heart.” Lo’ak purred, tucking his chin over your shoulder as he placed one hand over your collarbones. It was dangerously close to where your breasts rose and fell. 
With one swipe of your cupped hand through the water you had successfully catapulted water at his face. You dislodged yourself from his snuggling before sending him a dirty look and stomping off. 
Maybe that trick worked for him back with the Metkayina girls but you knew better than to fall for his charming traps.
“Sister!” Talu shouted, darting past the crowd. You could see in the distance Neteyam standing waist deep in the lake, right where your sister had left him. “By Eywa, are you alright?” 
Talu wasted no time in turning you back and forth in order to scour for injuries. Although still winded you did your best to ease her concerns. 
“Mawey, I am fine.” A sharp slap to the back of your head made you hiss in surprise.
“Then what were you thinking?! Diving down like that without any experience! That was not a part of the drill!” Her nose scrunched in the way it always did when giving you a scolding. 
“I know I just was…checking something…” You trailed off, feeling the heat of his gaze upon the back of your neck. 
“Neteyam says that you’re not supposed to dive like that even after a few weeks of training. We have to start with the shallow-”
“I know! I know!” Your groan only earned you another glare.
“Don’t scare me like that!” 
It was not a new experience to see Talu worked up. With your parents gone she was used to taking over as your caretaker and protector, although you were far beyond the years of needing such things. Regardless she had a knack for worrying. Yet another reason you had elected to never tell her about your history with Lo’ak.
“I am sorry.” It was nothing more than a mumble against her shoulder when she pulled you close. 
“Thank the Great Mother Lo’ak was there.” She sighed and from over her shoulder you could see where he was now directing another Na’vi female who struggled to make it across the space with one glide. 
“Yes, very lucky.” You deadpanned, rolling your eyes.
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It would have been rude to leave the lesson without joining in on the following social. Or at least that is what Talu claimed when you tried to retire early. Of course you had ulterior motives for expressing how tired you were but it was not a lie either. No matter how many times you had pushed yourself to suck in greater air, to make it one more stroke, you could never get past a certain threshold. Determination and anger had only swirled higher whenever you saw Lo’ak dance through the water. 
The entire ordeal had left you feeling defeated. The sooner you could crack the code on diving the sooner you could retire from these lessons. There was no denying however, how good the fire’s glow felt against your wet skin. Everyone huddled in a circle around the fire. Talu was more than happy to accept the seat Neteyam had saved for her. 
If it weren’t for the fear of looking over eager you were sure she would have already been snuggled up against him for warmth. Despite your animosity towards the younger Sully brother you were happy to see Talu courted by such an honorable warrior. He gave appreciation and chivalry freely, just in the way she deserved. 
You opted to take a seat at the edge of the circle, sitting close to Panyau. There was great entertainment to be found in the way some of the females slumped in disappointment when Neteyam focused his attention primarily on Talu. It took a hand to your lips to mask your giggle when one female’s tail dropped after Neteyam rejected her offering of drink. 
Lo’ak was not exempt from the same attention, although he strategically placed himself among other male clan members. Perhaps it was all in your head but it appeared that for once he was getting sick of the limelight. It didn’t last for long however because sooner or later the brothers were pressed to share stories from their time with the Metkayina. 
“A full grown Na’vi and he’s never flown?” Matutke questioned in disbelief, many other Na’vi mirroring his same perplexed expression.
“Never. I swear I saw his soul transcend to Eywa at first lift off. Think I still have the mark from where he dug his nails into my shoulder.” Lo’ak grinned, sounding a chorus of laughter through the crowd. 
“He cried almost as much as you did your first time, baby brother.” Neteyam quipped, reaching over to squeeze the back of Lo’ak’s neck. His younger brother glared and rolled his eyes as laughter rung through the forest but he surprisingly didn’t offer a comeback. 
Conversation ebbed and flowed easily among the group, old friends connecting once more. You found yourself even becoming content to sit by the fire’s glow with such jovial interactions taking place. It was nice to take the backseat and enjoy some much needed rest. Even being around Lo’ak was bearable as it seemed he had finally given up on bugging you. 
That is, until things took a turn.
It all started with one of the male’s, Pe’ku, teasing Lo’ak about the new gems and shells woven in his hair. Lo’ak had playfully glared at him as his friend yammered on about how it looked as if he had taken half the reef back with him. 
You did your best at tuning out the conversation when one female jumped in to defend him, talking about how particularly pretty the blue gem in his hair was. Sleep threatened to take over as Lo’ak explained how rare these pieces were, having to dive down to the deepest depths to retrieve them. Eyes rolling and head resting on your bent knees, you prayed that Talu would be ready to leave soon. 
The sudden oohs and aaahs when Lo’ak pulled something from his side pouch were like lullabies to your tired ears. 
And then your tail peaked with awareness. The group had grown silent and the weight of many eyes bore down on you. 
“Huh? What?” You stammered, head finally lifting to take in the scene with confusion. A few giggles laced the crowd and Lo’ak gave you a crooked smile.
“Could I talk to you for a minute?” He asked gently.
“What? Why?” The sudden beam of attention surrounding you caused unease to settle. 
Lo’ak gave a nervous laugh.
“Or I suppose I could ask here.” Tails and legs shifted out of the way as Lo’ak came to kneel before you. It was only then that you noticed the shimmering object in his right hand. “I started making this a few months ago, beginning when I first started to have hope of returning home.” 
He laid the long necklace carefully over his thighs. These glimmering pieces were unlike anything you had ever seen and much like the blue piece in his hair, it danced under the fading streaks of the day’s light. However unlike the small piece in his hair these ones tarried among different colors. A kaleidoscope of rainbow that would never stay the same shade for long, prancing with every different bounce of light. Intricately woven into the shape of a bodice that reminded you much of the stretching branches that reached for the sun. 
“It was the first time I had ever let myself imagine what it would be like to come back here. To see you again.” 
The swirling gold specks in his eyes trapped your own wide eyed stare in a vice like grip.
“I thought about you every time I dove down to retrieve a piece. It was the only piece in Awa’atlu that held a flame to my memory of your beauty. Looking at the woman you have grown into today I see that it is greatly insufficient as a comparison.” A short laugh accompanied his last sentence. 
The knot in your stomach flipped into acrobatics that had your heart pounding.
“For now this is all I have to offer as a courting gift. This and my vow.” The four fingered hand that rested on your thigh was warm, sending a jolt of electricity racing upwards. “Never will a day go by without my heart being full of love for you. Never a morning where I don’t ask myself what can be done to make you smile, to bring light into your life.To my dying breath I will protect you.”
It hit you then the specificity of this audience. At the sight of drooping females’ tails and piercing gazes of other males you realized that this was the mating pool. Your peers and potential suitors were all gathered here. And with them, every doe eyed female that had chased after Lo’ak since his return.
“I can not call you mine, at least not yet, but I do believe that Eywa has given me another chance to fight for that right. To fight for the honor it would be to reside by your side. So with my intentions clear and heart set I ask you to accept this first courting gift.” 
The following silence was deafening. It felt as if every second ticking by was one step closer to the bomb in your chest exploding. The group enveloped you like quick sand, each lean closer tightening around you in a suffocating grip. 
So when a small “yes” escaped your lips, you blamed it on the need to breathe. On the need to escape the borrading questions that would inevitably follow your rejection. 
You were willing to blame it on anything. 
Anything but the twinkle of excitement that struck you the second Lo’ak’s wide grin fell into place. 
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A/N: It has been so much fun to see y'all's reaction to this random little series I started. Please don't be shy! I love hearing your thoughts! It motivates me to keep writing<3
Taglist: @pandoraslxna @pandoraslovesworld @faintfill @rivatar @neteyamssyulang @mashiromochi @justcaptiannoodles @pocky444 @dayyzlol @kekunan @puddle-nerd @hazelwebsterboo2 @acerbicmoon @aesteticxsariana @haunting-venus @yawnetu @avatar4eva @baybaybear1 @nillikhyth @affinity101022 @tsireyasluvr @bambithewriter @delulumhaggy @kayfromthebay
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tpwrtrmnky · 5 months ago
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[ID: A comic titled "Toppld", drawn on paper with a pen, pencil, and a very limited pallete coloured pencils.
Panel 1: a greyscale stick figure labeled "toppld" is handing three green stick figures with slightly varying colours and body types (not identifiable as preexisting characters) buttons of the shade of green used for the green pride flag.
Toppld figure: Here, for pride. Have fun.
All three green stick figures are depicted thinking of a variation on a smiley face, and two are already wearing one of the buttons.
Panel 2: depicts the front page of a generic newspaper called The Times
Starts with a text blurb off the newspaper page saying: Literally later that week...
On the paper, in all caps: Toppld bans Green on air
In regular text, as the beginning of the article titled above: Green people can no longer appear on-air on the station as...
which cut off to an illegible rest of the page made of fake squiggle text.
The page includes an image of the green button that the Toppld character in panel one was giving the green characters.
Behind the first page, a cut off part of a second page in the same style is shown due to crude folding of the paper, with articles relating to The Contraption and Lockheed-Nestle. The former is not elaborated on in the real text, and the latter is meant to be about the portal to hell, however the artist fucked up while trying to write that part as the first line, which us instead barely even legible.
Panel 3: A depiction of the apartment that the established characters Leaf, Lime, and Moss live in. Moss is sitting on a couch with Lime's head in their lap, with posture that indicates that that's the only thing keeping Moss from getting up and storming off. Lime is holding one of each of Moss and Leaf's hands, with their legs crossed up on the couch, appearing to almost be curled in on themself. Leaf is lying on a carpet on the floor between the couch and a coffee table with the newspaper, with their other hand on their face in the stick figure equivalent of a facepalm. The apartment includes other details such as both a green and rainbow flag on a small end table, a portrait of the three together on the wall, and a cross stitch of the quote "Unsurprisingly, I don't regret this thing I did on purpose". The scene includes the dialogue:
Moss: ...I'm gonna kill that executive.
Leaf: ...maybe later.
End ID.]
did i do that right? i really hope it isn't too wrong.
concept from this post.
this is really treading the line of being a bit too on the nose but ehh...
i'm imagining toppld as a really minor news source, mostly watched by the exact kind of people who would actively support having green people on air.
ptmyg is my new hyper fixation, you'll be seeing more of me soon (and that may or may not be a threat)
Oh this is good, this is really good
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splinkoplinko · 3 months ago
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I'm gonna share some Guilty Gear LGBTQ+ "headcanons" that are most likely canon. Most of these go off of the idea that Elphelt's Magnum Wedding Instakill (MW) doesn't override sexuality.
Despite my claims of these being most likely canon, most things here are not directly confirmed by Daisuke Ishiwatari, ArcSystem Works, or any other individuals involved with the making of these characters or the Guilty Gear franchise and the following should still be taken as headcanon as these are my readings of certain things I've found in the games. You have been advised.
May - Bisexual, possibly confused lesbian - She does, in fact, fall in love with Elphelt here, but has a thing for Johnny, possibly. The thing with Johnny is that she might not actually have a crush on him. From my own experiences, it's possible that May could be overly obsessed with Johnny, and may be misunderstanding her obsession and hyper fixation on him as a romantic interest in him. This idea also makes the whole Johnny and May thing less creepy as Johnny is her dad, and, I believe is supported by one of MW lines being "C-Could this be romance?! Oh my gosh!" implying that how she feels for Elphelt during Magnum Wedding is different from how she feels for Johnny, possibly even completely redefining romance for her, which is pretty huge for someone who's been seemingly romantically attracted to someone for years.
Millia - Bisexual, possible preference for women - She 100% had romantic and sexual feelings for Zato, which he manipulated prior to his death. Because of the sexual manipulation from Zato, it seems that she is not keen on being involved with a man again in any way. However, in MW, she falls in love with Elphelt, even going as far as to say "Have I chosen the yuri route..?" This doesn't really explain the "preference to women" part of this idea, but another quote of Millia's is "This is a whole new world...!" which, at least to me, shows that she experiences romance with a woman in a much more positive way than with a man.
Elphelt - Pansexual - When MW is used against herself, Elphelt says "I-I'll just take anyone...?" So like, yeah. Also she fell in love with herself, that's pretty gay.
Baiken - Bisexual - I'm pretty sure that she and Anji are confirmed to be a thing? I could 100% be wrong on that. However, when Baiken gets hit with MW, she falls in love with Elphelt. Despite that, she seems very reluctant, which could be shown as rejection (which I'll get to because it DOES happen), but I interpret this instead as denial of her feelings. This is further emphasized by her character, being a cold, lone wolf type of person. This can be seen in her platonic relationships as well, in which, only really accepting the company of Anji (possibly not platonic) and Delilah with Delilah being her latest friendship. The idea of her being in denial is in the line, "Won't work. Try to fall for someone el...?!" which, in my interpretation, means that she doesn't believe she's good enough, but is cut off by the sheer amount of love she's feeling from MW.
Jam - Bisexual - She wants to hire "cute boys" (boys she's attracted to) like Ky Kiske to work at her diner. In both Jam's Story ending 1 and Bridget's story ending 1 of Accent Core Plus, Jam actually hires Bridget to work at the diner. While Bridget identified as male then, she now identifies as female, though, that might not mean much. What means much more is her MW line, "Cute girl maybe ok, too." which implies that "cute girls" (GIRLS she's attracted to) would be hired as well.
Jack-O' - Bisexual - Is Aria, wife of Sol Badguy. They're also together in the ending of Strive. Reason that she's bisexual is because she refers to her and Elphelt as a couple in her MW line "Birth of a new-age couple?!" so that's pretty cut and dry.
Kum - Lesbian - When hit with MW, she falls in love with Elphelt as shown by the line, "Romance filter severely damaged!" meaning that, well, romance. Duh. I say lesbian specifically because, to my knowledge, she doesn't show attraction to any men, really just Elphelt, if anything were to come out where she shows attraction to a man or if I missed something that does the same, then I'd say she's bisexual. But for now, she's lesbian.
Venom - Gay - Now for the part that proves that MW doesn't override sexuality and that all of the above characters are attracted to women. Venom is canonically gay, this isn't a headcanon, this is just outright confirmed. However, it's important to note that Venom resists the romantic nature of MW as shown by his lines, "My loyalty cannot be broken!" "You cannot tempt me!" and last, but not least, "Lord ZATOOOO!" The fact that Venom, who in canon is exclusively attracted to men, does not fall in love with Elphelt in MW, means that the above characters DO fall in love with Elphelt and ARE attracted to women.
Bedman - Aroace - Completely rejects the concept of being in love ("Damn witch! You cannot take my heart from me!" "Are you trying to corrupt me?) when hit with MW, and, in one line, exclaims, "You cannot replace Delilah!" which is just comparing the effects of MW to his only other relationship, which is platonic, which is with his sister, which makes me feel like it's not at all romantic or sexual to him in any way.
Ramlethal - Aroace - At first, I thought she could be lesbian, but one of my friends who knows a lot more about GG lore and Ramlethal in specific than me argued that she's Aroace, citing one of her taunts in Strive that implies she has no concept of romance and that it's kinda gross to her. He also said that her saying "Is this my true self?" is about her experiencing human emotions, which she doesn't believe she can do (at least during Xrd's story mode). He, however, did say that as her concept and expression of human emotions develops, things could change, and she may end up developing romantic feelings, but that is not definite. As of right now, Ramlethal is aroace, at least in my books.
Testament - Nonbinary with attraction to men - I don't know if Testament has any attraction to women, but I read their intro lines in Strive with Johnny as them being a thing, as Johnny offers to go out to eat after their fight in one line. Testament is confirmed to be nonbinary though.
Johnny - Bi or Pansexual, though could still be straight? - This one veers much more into headcanon territory, but it's possible that Johnny could be bisexual or pansexual as he may in a situationship with Testament, as I mentioned just above. Testament does, however, present more femme than masc, and does use feminine pronouns alongside gender neutral and masculine pronouns, so it's possible that Johnny simply counts Testament as a woman and is still straight.
Bridget - Sapphic transgender woman - Bridget is a trans woman in canon, however, it's not confirmed if she is attracted to men, women, neither, or both. However, Daisuke once made some very interesting art where May is gripping Bridget's butt pretty strong (which is really just more evidence for May being sapphic), but Bridget doesn't seem troubled by it or anything soooo. Also, of the 2 characters that have special lines when defeated by Bridget in Strive, May gets 2 lines while Bridget herself only gets 1, no one else has a special line at this time.
I-no - Pansexual - Pretty sure she'll top anyone, even people who claim to be tops. This is basically just a headcanon, but apparently she teases both men and women when defeating them, soooo.
BONUS!!
These characters are, in my opinion, heterosexual despite this being contested in some smaller aspects of the community.
Sin - When hit with MW, one of Sin's lines is, "Farewell... virginity..." so yeah, he's straight. Idk, could be bi, but I see no evidence for that. Most people say he's aroace because he's so young, childish, and dumb, but Dizzy fell for Ky around the same age soooo...
Dizzy - When hit with MW, it feels like she's rejecting Elphelt, much like Venom and Bedman, saying "I'm married!" "I'm sorry, I can't!" "I-I have a son..." much less like a denial of feelings similar to that of Baiken. I don't think her sexuality is contested as much as Sin's is, but I still feel like this is worth mentioning.
yeah i think that's it really
END
If you have any other pieces of evidence for OR AGAINST my ideas and evidence, then please share!!! I am open to CONSTRUCTIVE criticism :3!!!
Reminder that MOST of these aren't technically confirmed to be canon, so take these as head canons if anything, not cold, hard facts!! And please, do not be rude about these either.
Also, do not deny ACTUAL canon (Venom being gay, Bridget being a transwoman, and Testament being nonbinary) as that is not cool and disrespectful to the ideas of Daisuke himself!!!
Thank you for reading, and I hope you all have a great day ^^!!!!!
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bibibbon · 5 months ago
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I made a huge mistake in going to the MHA subreddit. The braindead takes on 427 have me convinced I'm stuck in a parallel universe where we're reading a completely different story:
"It's great seeing Deku play therapist with the LOV, but all it seems to have done is make things worse!" A) Izuku shouldn't be having to play therapist to begin with, considering he's a 16 year old kid. B) most of the LOV don't see anything they did as wrong, so idk what the fuck Izuku can do about that. Also, WHY AREN'T PEOPLE HELPING IZUKU WITH HIS OWN GODDAMN FEELINGS?!
Apparently Bakugou killed Kurogiri, and there's absolutely ZERO reaction to it both in and out of universe. So of fucking course Izuku is a murderer, but not their precious Bakugou 🥱.
"I feel like Hori's really underrated as a writer!" Horikoshi doesn't know Show Don't Tell, how to actually develop characters, and how to craft actual stakes in the narrative from a hole in the ground. Also, MHA is one of the most popular mangas worldwide, so you're not even using underrated right.
"I feel like Horikoshi sees our discussions and then implements them in the story!" This I can kind of agree with, considering how much y'all hate Izuku and worship Bakugou. But on the other hand, I really doubt Horikoshi thinks the MHA subreddit is as important as you think it is.
"Bakugou's totally going to ask Izuku to start their own hero agency together at the end!" Jesus fucking Christ, just say you hate Izuku. How would that be a great ending for him? He not only has to see the source of his low self esteem and borderline suicidal feelings achieving the dream he'll now never have, but you want them to WORK together?!
@nutzgunray-lvt 👋
Well a lot of the time looking into Reddit is always a mistake unless you're asking a very niche question and you get an answer from 9 years ago or something.
I feel like a lot of people whether that be in universe or in fandom forget that izuku is a 16 year old child soldier. Izuku is more than a decade younger than a lot of the villains in the leauge. He is a child who has been exploited by the system and abused. We have seen in 425 izuku try and talk to someone but simply get brushed aside and while I don't blame shoto or ochako for doing that as they probably didn't mean it and are traumatised themselves it kinda of shows how much this has effected izuku. Also this doesn't help BECAUSE HORI GAVE US NO FLIPPING INTROPSECTION ON IZUKU'S BIT AGAIN!! Also Iam not sure if it's just me but Izuku's eye bags are heavily prominent in this chapter especially when he is talking to spinner.
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The fandom especially the lov stans side of it love babayifying the actions of the leauge and hyper fixating on the humane soft side they may have while completely ignoring the horrible actions they commited. I talk about this better in one of @palesweetscherryblossom asks
I still can't believe that bk may of killed kurogiri. I don't even know when that happend and I checked the wiki but it says that kurogiris status is unconfirmed so I will be waiting until the last chapter to fully acknowledge if kurogiri is dead or not. However this brings up the point that the fandoms is being quite hypocritical if they're calling izuku a murder but not bakugo. They both killed people but for some reason it's izuku thats put into public light and bashing instead of all the other characters that have killed in the series including villains.
Yeah sometimes it feels like hori is looking at discussions of his series and implementing ideas but I think that goes more for his Japanese fans than us to be honest because after all they're his target demographic. I remember when I first joined Tumblr one of my earliest posts talked about how horikoshi's writing decisions were heavily influenced by his fans which may or may not be true.
At this point IAM convinced that izuku isn't getting a proper happy ending. Every time I think it can't get worse it does. Just by your comment of them starting an agency together haunts me just like the possibility that bk may become the number one hero
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ashetherando · 1 year ago
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Disney Adult| FizzOzzie Poly x reader (and separate)
my sorry ass have been looking at Disney World stuff and as a Disney Adult I’m surprised I haven’t made this before! pronouns: They/Them/Theirs
Key words:
(y/n)-Your Name
(l/n)-Last Name
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(POLY FIZZOZZIE )
They don’t really care of what you’re into, as long you don’t be stupid or harassing imps/demons they don’t care. They will in fact have a whiplash of Disney merchandise you own at your home with the Minnie/Mickey ears and clothes, PJs, and cups! They will be shitty boyfriends if they shit all over your interest while you don’t. If you’re going to Disney World/Land, you’re their guide! Teach them about Genie Plus, teach them about the Disney World app, cuz they’re helpless without your Disney eyes! Also, let them pick their magic bands there so much designs and their brains cannot handle it! Also, quick thing, give fizz a kid leash. You’ll be walking around in Animal Kingdom with Ozzie planning what he wants to eat, then POOF Fizz somehow learned to park hop and is now at Magic Kingdom at Peter Pans Flight!
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💙OZZIE/ASMODEUS💙
Ozzie believes that Disney can be dark, for example Hunchback of Notre Dame, The Black Caldron, and basically he’s more into the Disney Renaissance than the present day movies at the Disney franchise. He will not be surprised when he comes over to your home and you hand him over Disney PJs, he doesn’t care about how much Disney merchandise your house can handle, as long you’re not blowing off all your money for a Disney figure ‘cuz you still need to pay bills and rent! But! When you ask what he wants at Disney World, he asked “coffee” as a joke, but when you came back from your trip and before you clock in “here ya go, Asmodeus!” You said as you held up the bag with the word Joffrey’s printed on it “I wasn’t so sure what you wanted so I kinda just guessed!” He tilted his head to the side as you place the bag on his desk, he opened the bag and see two bags of coffee grounds one is a flavorful coffee ground and the other is just plan coffee grounds “I wasn’t expecting you to get me this” he grabbed a bag and analyzing it “do you not want it?” “No! I want it, I really do need some coffee grounds, I just never thought that Disney have these type of things” “well, it’s a huge company! Of course they’re gonna have coffee!” “That’s fair” he placed the bag down and bring up the flavor on, it’s was obviously bought at the Polynesian resort exclusive. “Thank you, (y/n)”
When you finally convinced him to go with you while being part of the Disney Vacation Club, you have to treat him by bringing him to Food and Wine festival. He’s quite interested by the new wine they give out every year than the food. Keep an eye on him, we don’t know his drink tolerance is, he might get drunk at Epcot!
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💚FIZZAROLLI💙
Fizzarolli is a guy to be like “haha! Imagine liking a company for babies” just deal with it, he’s gonna be a prick about your hyper fixations, but he’s doing it for jokes and will let you know about that. He only watches whatever is on TV, if you and him are chilling in your home. Just stream something on Disney Plus, then he’ll watch it with you. Here’s my advice: Have a Disney Marathon and he’ll won’t even notice! I’m kidding he will once it’s 1am and you’re watching Tangled, then he’ll be like “Old Disney is better” then he’ll leave the room. If you’re watching more present Disney movie, he’ll yell it from the hallway “Old Disney is better!” He may be your boyfriend, but he’s such a bad influence on you, when Ozzie is good with money and help you with your impulsive spendings, Fizz encourages you to buy that. You will send him a picture of a new Disney pin collection through text “oh look how cute they are!” “Get it” “fizz, I have rent that is due” “idc, get the pins” “you don’t even know the characters!” “I know the blue fur ball!” “Don’t call stitch a fur ball” “why did you send me this anyways!?” “….the pins will be here on Tuesday next week” “knew it” Disney World will be an episode and a half, homie will be in a different park quicker before you say Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious so please give him a kid leash before he does it again, but convincing him took so long! You have to show him some videos, nothing too intimidating since he’s a Disney Virgin, just simplify your vacation visit, but not for clothing wear, the Greed Ring is hot, and you two will be sweating allot, which means chafing! Biker shorts are your whore! Treat him with any festival and he’ll be happy! If it’s the Food and Wine, he’ll will eat any food or drink any wine, but let’s be happy that you brought him!
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im14andivebeen14foramonth · 4 months ago
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ADHD CURTIS BROTHERS HCS PLEASEEEEE 🙏
YESSS I FUCK WITH THIS HEAVY
Ponyboy
pony's most apparent symptom is his inattentiveness. his head is always up in the clouds, and he spends a looot of time daydreaming
very very very forgetful, mostly about his own needs. he'll go days without brushing his teeth if darry doesn't remind him
pony has a bad habit of zoning out while looking directly at people, so they just look over and his eyes are like wide and glazed over and staring into their souls. it especially freaks steve out for some reason. "QUIT STARING AT ME LIKE THAT!!" "huh?"
he can't get himself to do his homework in a timely manner. he works best under pressure and so he'll just procrastinate it until the night before it's due and then he locks in
when he does lock in like that, he's practically dead to the world. bro forgets to eat and drink and move his body for like hours at a time until darry or soda makes him get up and he's just like "ow. ow. ow. everything hurts"
he's still hyperactive though and it drives darry crazy sometimes. when he's with the rest of the gang is when it really spikes, and he'll start running all around the house with them. darry can tell though when he needs to get his energy out because he'll just start following darry around the house and bounce around or drum his fingers on every single thing he can. when he gets like that, darry will ask him if he wants to go for a run or play football or smthn so that he can get his energy out
bro WILL hyper fixate on every single thing he's interested in, his consistent ones are books and movies, but sometimes he'll just spend hours a day thinking about one specific book or drawing one character from the latest movie he's seen
it's always a 50/50 on whether he's going to have lots of fun or get super overstimulated in different places. like in grocery stores, after a half hour he's ready to start crying and he'll usually just get quiet and not leave darry's side until they leave. but he thrives in other places like fairs and festivals, and enjoys the bright lights and loud music
he doesn't have great control over his temper. he gets frustrated super easily and will get snappy over the smallest things, but almost every time without fail it ends with him crying and feeling bad
Sodapop
this man may just be the most hyperactive person ever
he will NOT stay in one place for more than five minutes at a time. he's always running around the house, and when he does stay in one spot, he's shaking/bouncing his leg the entire time
like pony though, he gets his moments where he locks in and they're the only times that he doesn't break focus no matter what. he'll go from talking nonstop to just being dead silent as he tries to fix something on a car at work and it freaks steve out
he's so bad with rejection :( even if it's something as small as someone saying they don't like his favorite car, or they're not in the mood to talk about horses, he'll get so sad and feel like his interests are stupid
he cries a lot no matter what he's feeling. if he gets frustrated, angry, or scared, he'll start crying and his energy goes through the roof
soda is easily the most forgetful person any of the gang has ever met. he'll forget what day it is, to put shoes on, to take food out of the oven, everything. it's mostly a short-term memory issue. however, his memory will be really good for oddly specific things. steve: "remember that time I got a cold or something in like elementary school and-" "oh yeah that tuesday in october in first grade when you were wearing that red shirt and you kept sneezing during story time :)" "why do you remember that??" "I dunno"
when he gets overstimulated it's BAD. it doesn't happen often, but when it does, he'll break down in tears and refuse to speak to anyone. darry's the only one who can ever calm him down
he stims a lot, usually by playing with the hair on the back of his neck or rubbing whatever shirt he's wearing
Darry
although it may not be as obvious, darry's also on the hyperactive side. he loves football, running, swimming, anything that's high intensity and lets him get his energy out. when he doesn't have a chance to do those things, he'll usually just pace around or do a quick workout
he will drum his fingers every single time he's thinking, he's even worse than pony with it. and if he has a pen in his hand, you better believe he's clicking it nonstop. the amount of dirty looks he got in school for it was crazy
even though he gets on pony for it a lot, darry also zones out a lot. he's usually better at hiding it though, like people will be having full conversations with him and they don't realize that he was zoned out the whole time until they ask him something and he just goes "huh?"
his biggest hyper fixation has always been football. he could talk for hours and hours about any player, team, or game if someone lets him
he did great in school, but he always had to find obscure ways of remembering things for tests and quizzes, he especially did a lot of those acronym things. whenever someone asked him how he did something or remembered something, he would explain his weird system and they would be even more confused
this poor man cannot cope without a schedule. that's a part of the reason why he gets so bothered when pony isn't home at the right time, because it throws off his schedule and then his whole day is ruined
whenever he reads, he can only focus if he sort of murmurs the words the whole time, and he almost always plays with the edges of the paper to keep his focus
when he gets overstimulated, he gets snappy and loud and doesn't want a single person to touch or talk to him
he's big on vocal stims. he hums or mumbles to himself or makes random noises whenever he's trying to focus on something
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characteranalyst · 2 years ago
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Phayu Character Analysis : The Man With a Borrowed Halo and One Foot in Hell
“My brother is far from simple, you’ll get burned if you don’t know how to play with fire” - Saifah
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Gather round LITA obsessed children for an in depth analysis of our resident Daddy Dom Brat Tamer Phayu who Christian Grey wished he was and tried to be. You either hate him, love him, want to be him or all of the above.
I know PhayuRain’s arc seems like on the surface just a fluffy little romance with no need for lengthy think pieces.  But I’m obsessed with their dynamic and I could not let the hyper-fixation pass before doing a character analysis. Phayu haunts the periphery of dreams and I am hoping that this analysis will help me exorcise this beautiful spectre so I can finally know peace.
As much as I would genuinely love to crack open his skull and unspool all of his thoughts and motivations I cannot do that. So disclaimer obviously this will just be conjecture and my opinion and I am going to try and stick as closely as possible to canon and refrain from falling into head canon territory.
I have read Love Storm but I’m only going to be referencing how Phayu behaves in the series because I prefer that version of him. Also this is going to be a very LONGGGG post. I have many thoughts on this man. Feel free to skim through or save it to read for some other time.
I am mainly going to be speaking about the main character traits that I have observed from him and how he relates to the rest of the characters in the series. I think I am going to make a separate analysis of his dynamic with Rain because going in depth with that would be too much for me to mention here. 
Alright let’s get into it.
(1) EARLY CHILDHOOD AND YOUNG ADULTHOOD
We are given little to no information on his childhood and or young adulthood. What we do know is that his parents left him and Saifah an incredible house and the luxury garage so we can assume that they weren’t strapped for cash.  
Him and Saifah seem like two relatively well adjusted young men so I guess we can assume that there was little to no childhood trauma. In episode 6 during their pillow talk Phayu tells Rain that his parents are off living in Korat and enjoying their lives, I’m assuming. So I guess they’re not divorced. So he has no ‘separated parents’ trauma to deal with.
The only thing that gives us a little insight into how his childhood affected who he became as a person was when he told Rain the story of how his mother always used to argue with his father about how he could fix bikes beautifully but he could not build a house for them.
So Phayu decided that he was going to ensure that he was able to fulfil both by becoming a mechanic and an architect. I think from this we can conclude that Phayu is an overachiever and this displays his seemingly constant need to be perfect and the best.
I think this may also come from a child’s instinctual need to please their caretakers and make them proud. Phayu also seems like someone who has had a Type A personality from birth. In contrast to Saifah who seems like a little more laid back more go with the flow type.
From this little snippet of information we can also assume that his affinity for being a mechanic was either inherited from his father or taught to him and Saifah.
In conclusion it’s safe to say that Phayu does not really seem to have any trauma to speak of, he's just kinky.  I like the fact he doesn’t have any heavy trauma or unsavoury character traits (well I take this back he’s a little pushy and manipulative) he needs to get over. There is beauty in this simplicity where as a result, the majority of the narrative is focused on Phayu Rain falling in love with each other.
(2)   PHAYU AND HIS AIR OF MYSTERY (DR JEYKLL AND MR HYDE)
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One thing that stood out to me when we as an audience were introduced to Phayu was his air of mystery. Everyone knows of him of course because he has been knighted as the God of the faculty of architecture.  But we see quickly that very few people actually know him personally. We can see how this fact plays out in the series through the following examples:
Pun says that she has no idea what kind of business Phayu runs but it's ok because she likes a man with a little mystery. (Episode 1)
Phayu refuses to tell Rain what he likes to eat on their first date because he says that Rain has to know him a lot longer before he can ‘snoop for information’ as he puts it. (Episode 3)
Phayu shares only a little information about his life with his senior Mhok before abruptly cutting the conversation short so as to not reveal too much information about his personal life. (Episode 4)
Phayu only reveals deep information about himself and his parents and childhood to Rain after their second time during pillow talk. (Episode 6)
He also doesn’t really seem to have close friends except for Prapai and Saifah. I don’t really think Saifah counts because he’s more of an unwilling captive because they have to share everything that their parents left them. I really don’t think they would even be friends if they weren’t brothers honestly because of their differing personalities. 
I think this ability to guard what he reveals to people helps maintain his mystique. There needs to be a certain level of distance and holding people at arm’s length that needs to take place in order for people to project their fantasies onto him and build him up as some sort of God among men.
I think the reason people idolise Phayu and like him so much is because they like the idea of him rather than the reality of him. I think if more people knew who he actually was in reality, they would be put off by how intense he is.
Rain seems like the only person who had become disillusioned with the idea of Phayu. After the debacle in Episode 1 he sees Phayu not as his ‘cool handsome big bike bro” but as a pushy piece of shit bastard that tried to assault him. I also think some of his anger towards Phayu had to do with him being confused by his feelings for him;  creating a cocktail of confusion for poor Rain to sort out. So he was able to view Phayu as a person and not place him on a pedestal like other people do.
I think this is what PhayuRain’s relationship needed to flourish as well because Phayu needs someone who is able to challenge him. We are well aware of how much he loves brats. The worshipful gaze of Som and Pun would not be satisfactory for him because they had him on a pedestal and were blinded by their idea of him so they would readily submit to him without much push back.
He needed someone with a backbone who could engage in a sort of push and pull relationship with him and our adorable little firecracker Rain was the perfect match. Phayu has people falling at his feet daily; he was in need of much more excitement than that.
Like the story of the titular character Dr.Jekyll a well-respected scientist who used his alter ego Mr.Hyde to delve into the darker side of science without repentance or taking responsibility; Phayu has that same sort of duality. I think Phayu keeps his kinky side under wraps and he’s very careful about whom he shows that part of himself to. Presumably only his lovers or potential lovers get to see his ‘bad side’.
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So his DR JEKYLL would be, so to speak,the Phayu that is seen as a smart, capable, polite, helpful and well-adjusted young man, loved by all and sought after by many. This is the Phayu that would leave a random stranger his set square with an encouraging message about his future in architecture.
On the flip side his MR HYDE would be Dom Daddy Brat Tamer Phayu with a penchant for sadism and degradation.
At the end of the day both sides come together to make up who Phayu is as a person and there is nothing inherently wrong with his Mr. Hyde as long as he is able to channel it and engage with it safely with willing participants. Fortunately for him, he has Rain for that.
(3) WONKY MORAL COMPASS BUT STRINGENT PERSONAL RULES 
I really had a hard time dissecting this part. But I have come to the conclusion that Phayu deserves to be labelled as a morally grey or morally ambiguous person. I really have a soft spot for morally grey characters in media or literature. 
It makes the narrative far more interesting to follow. In real life however I would run in the opposite direction and call the police. But this isn’t supposed to be real, it's supposed to be a fantasy so I’m not going to go too much in depth about Phayu’s moral failings. This show doesn’t take itself too seriously so I’m not going to either.
Phayu is not a ‘nice’ person plain and simple and he knows it, contrary to Pun’s expository gushing in the first episode of the show when she refers to him as “super-duper nice”. After the spanking incident in Episode 2 (which was wild now that I think of it) where Rain declares that he is going to make him fall in love with him he says to himself;
 “You’re going to make me fall in love with you but do you know what kind of man I am.”
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I think Phayu says this because he knows himself thoroughly the good, the bad and the ugly. Phayu has overcome himself. He has recognized all his shortcomings, all his base desires, all his lowliness, all the self-imposed restraints he places upon himself and overcome them. 
Phayu also strikes me as someone who has engaged with his shadow self and explored the parts of his psyche that most of us would repress and compartmentalise because we are too ashamed of our darkness to engage with it.
He has looked his darkness in the face and come to terms with it. That is why he says, "Do you know what kind of man I am?", because he understands people’s perception of him lies in stark contrast to his unsavoury character traits.
I also think his dabbling in BDSM has given him the room and space to conduct such exploration of himself in a safe, sane and consensual way. I think the nature of BDSM can afford people an outlet to engage with their own darkness and sort through it so that it doesn’t manifest in their life in other ways.
In Episode 1 we see where Prapai likens him to the devil (jokingly) but under every joke there is definitely some truth. If Prapai is calling him that it must be the truth because as we know Prapai looks like his only close friend.
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We can assume that Prapai is incredibly familiar with Phayu’s Mr. Hyde as we can presume that they know each other very well so his assessment of dubbing Phayu as a devil must be accurate. 
Also head canon (I know I said I was going to refrain from going into head canon territory but please indulge me a bit) I’m sure they’ve fucked before in a bro-ish kind of way. I mean their both hot and bi and Prapai’s a sub in top’s clothing (I know Dom/sub and top/bottom are two separate things just enjoy the joke you know what I mean)  so it’s not far fetched to think they would have at some time fucked around a bit. 
Although I know Phayu is hardly the correct type of Dom for Prapai’s specific brand of subbiness. The point is I think that Prapai would be privy to Phayu’s true nature and how much of a little shit he can be when he isn’t using his powers for good.
In Episode 5 Saifah, the only other person we see having a close relationship with Phayu refers to him as a Devil as well.
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I just know these two have witnessed some shit over the years of knowing Phayu that warranted him being referred to as a Devil.
Discussing Phayu’s moral code is very weird because it’s obvious that he doesn’t really adhere to a normal set of rules. We can assume he’s not particularly religious because it wasn’t mentioned.
I think Phayu is very domineering and kind of manipulative but at the same time he commands an air of respect. He is not necessarily what you would expect from someone who is so widely lauded as an exemplary person.
What also struck me about Phayu was the fact although his moral code seems a little flexible he has a few hard and fast non-negotiable rules that may seem arbitrary to someone like Rain but to him it may as well be gospel. 
One of these rules in the show is seen where we see he has a big thing for respect. We see an example of this when he calls Rain after he picks up his car from the garage and he tells Rain that only ill-mannered boys don’t greet the owner of the house when they stop by. He also ends the call by telling Rain to be respectful. We also see his thing for rules when he tells Rain that he doesn’t like ill-mannered boys and that he should address him as P’Phayu emphasising the use of honorifics.
Phayu is also a man of his word in Episode 7 when Rain tells Phayu that he will unleash his wrath on him if he ever cheats on him. Phayu just laughs and says he will never let Rain down. He holds true to this in the Special Episode when Rain accuses him of cheating on him with Natsu he utters the same sentiment that he promised to never let Rain down. This man looked absolutely horrified at the accusation like he wouldn’t even dream of it.
I think his strict adherence to rules other than him being a Dom could also be influenced by his exposure and affiliation with the likes of P’Pakin and P’Chai.  He knows that there will be dire consequences if the rules aren’t strictly adhered to. This is why he curses Stop for mentioning the race in public and he reprimands Rain for thoughtlessly wandering into the illegal street race without permission to be there.
BUT ON THE FLIP SIDE
He’s so stringent about ensuring that Rain is polite and respectful but he thinks it’s perfectly fine to tamper with Rain’s car so that he would have an excuse to be his knight in shining armour and save him so they could hook up. The math is not mathing at all. I know he’s an experienced mechanic and he wouldn’t have tampered with anything that would have led Rain getting in an accident and getting injured but still. WEIRD BEHAVIOUR KHUN PHAYU!!!!!! Also don’t even get me started on him using the debt of fixing Rain’s car as some weird way to stalk him??? RED FLAGGGGGG!! His methods of courtship definitely need some fine tuning. 
In conclusion his contradictory moral code gives me whiplash trying to figure out where on the scale from angel to devil I should place him. But I think he’s just human. No one is all good and all bad and I think that Mame writes very human raw characters that make you feel something. I’ll give credit where credit is due.
(4) AN EERIE LEVEL OF SELF CONTROL AND THE PATIENCE OF A SAINT 
This man probably never has New Year’s Resolutions because he’s already operating at optimal condition. Phayu is portrayed to be quite literally always in control. The only time he looks undone is after THAT SCENE in Episode 6.
We see this self-control manifest in the way he makes love to Rain in a very formulaic, worshipful and almost performative manner. Gently throwing Rain’s head back, holding his hands down and caging his body. Rain responds in kind to his dominance by always baring his throat in submission and allowing his body to go lax under Phayu’s ministrations.
It’s so gentle but he’s still being dominant and in control. While Rain always looks halfway between heaven and earth during these scenes Phayu always seems wholly present and tethered to earth (like a good Dom should be) creating a space in which his precious sub can feel safe enough to fly out of this stratosphere.
The subtlety with which he maintains control makes me absolutely feral. There is hardly any jostling or manhandling but it’s still forceful. I think a great example of the subtlety of how Phayu displays his dominance can be seen in the PhayuRain make-out scene in Episode 5.
The natural way he cages Rain’s neck to control the flow of the kiss.
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The way he stop kissing Rain when Rain tries to lead and he put a finger to his lips in a way that almost screams “Relax I’m in charge here.”
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Unlike our donut firecracker Rain (my sweet boy) that was ready to scrap at the first sign of disrespect, Phayu seems like he is not one to resort to violence if they could sort it out by just talking and coming to an amicable solution.
We can see an example of this where Phayu refused to be baited by Stop into fighting with him even though Stop was about to punch him at the night racing circuit in the beginning of Episode 6.
Also before the race between him and Stop where Stop was trying to rile him up. He was able to remain level headed while Stop immediately lost his cool and tried to fight him once again when Phayu insulted him.
I’m assuming this self-control is more nature than nurture. It seems like he is the type to have always been calm and self-contained. He doesn’t need to bark loudly because his competence and self-assuredness speaks volumes. 
He quite literally doesn’t yell often he just uses that husky dom voice. The only time he ever really raised his voice was when he was shouting at Rain in Episode 2 when he was worried that he could have gotten killed for sneaking into the illegal street circuit race.
The thing about dominance and control that I think people like Stop with fragile egos get wrong is that they think it comes from a place of aggression, peacocking and forcing people to bow to your will. This is however not the sort of dominance that will truly gain you respect and have people willingly obey you.
Phayu’s dominance and control comes from a place of nurturing and caring and people only defer to him and his authority because he has proven time and time again that he is capable of shouldering the responsibility of what this control entails and he has consequently gained their respect because of it.
(5) PRIDE GOES BEFORE A FALL 
No matter how level headed he is and self-control he possesses he’s still a man and he has been socialised to exist as a man. So he’s not above engaging in a motorcycle race with an asshole like Stop to prove a point and because of his pride.
I like how this moment humanised Phayu and showed how no matter how above petty human emotions he seems, he’s still liable to fall victim to making decisions based on ego.
However, I like that he was self-aware enough to realise that he was indeed only participating in this race because of his pride because he says to Rain when he tries to stop him some things just don’t have an explanation. 
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We can contrast him racing Stop because of his pride and him kneeling before Stop and crawling to save Rain from being hurt. Although he has an ego he was more than willing to put pride aside to ensure Rain’s safety.
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(SIDENOTE- I died watching the kidnapping ordeal in episode 7 that shit was so unserious. The picture of Rain that Stop sent Phayu lives in my head rent free and I cackle from time to time because of it.) 
(6) “P’PHAYU LHOR MAKKKKK!” – Pun  (PRETTY PRIVILEGE AND THE HALO EFFECT)
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Physical appearance is often a major part of the halo effect. People who are considered attractive tend to be rated higher as possessing positive traits in contrast to people who aren’t considered conventionally attractive.
I think beauty can be blinding and make people more willing to overlook people’s misgivings. As the halo effect states people are more likely to project good qualities on to people they deem to be conventionally attractive.
As I said when I was addressing his air of mystery; because people are so predisposed to projecting all these good qualities on Phayu the distance and the space that he creates between him and other people can be filled with these projections and good qualities so that they build him up in their minds as this amazing person.
This man radiates and secretes ungodly amounts of sex appeal without trying. So I think his general attractiveness is one of the reasons as well why Rain had a hard time getting people to believe that Phayu was a pushy manipulative little asshole in the beginning.
Do I think Phayu would have commanded the same level of respect that he does without also being pretty? I don’t know to be honest. I do however think Phayu is an unintentional cautionary tale about the dangers of projecting good qualities on someone just because they’re attractive and being blind to their faults.
(7) SELF ASSURED, CONFIDENT AND CHARMING – CONCEITED?
I mean I’d be that confident too if I was rich, handsome, talented, smart ANDDDDD could fuck like a porn star but I digress. Very much a quiet confidence to him as was elaborated on when I spoke about the air of mystery. He is evidently very capable and consequently people rely on him and I think his self- assuredness comes from the fact that he can back up his claims because he has every right to be self-centred.
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Without mincing words this man is very conceited. However although he is conceited he doesn’t lack empathy and he doesn’t seem too self-involved as evidenced by the way he ensures that he takes care of the people he cares about.
(8) PHAYU THE COMPULSIVE CARETAKER, CONCEITED BUT NOT SELF-INVOLVED
We see in Episode 4 how Phayu puts Rain’s needs before his by ensuring that Rain focuses on his school work and ensures that his development and advancement as a person comes before pursuing a romantic relationship with Phayu.
He ensures that Rain understands how slacking on his work in pursuance of other things will affect his work life and he lectures him while still comforting him after. I really liked this scene in Episode 3 because Phayu is able to help Rain because he’s older and more experienced and he’s gone through it before. I also like the fact that there isn’t a hint of condescension in his voice, just concern and wanting to ensure that Rain becomes the best version of himself.
Phayu shows how much he cares about Rain and is invested in making Rain a priority in his life in so many little ways. We can see in Episode 5 how Phayu leaves an important meeting to answer Rain’s text messages. Also in Episode 4 When Rain finishes his project early after an all-nighter and instead of sleeping he goes straight to Phayu. Phayu ensures that there is reciprocity in their relationship by saying that you missed out on sleep to come see me, so I'm going to hurry up and finish my work so we can hang out.
He makes an effort to help Rain finish his models like he promised to do in his speech in Episode 5. Also in Episode 4 he apologises to Rain for his phone dying and for making him wait for him in the rain. In Episode 6 after he almost gets in a fight with Stop the first thing he does is ask Rain if he’s alright even though he was the one that almost had a brawl with Stop.
I think we really see throughout the show how the way Phayu interacts with Rain takes on a sort of paternalistic tinge. The title of Daddy is incredibly fitting and I really just think this is him being a good Dom.
That’s why I think this is the reason Phayu looks so touched and taken aback when Rain and him first meet and he holds the umbrella for Phayu while he’s changing his tire. Phayu’s so used to being relied on and being assumed to be competent and well put together. He’s used to giving without expecting anything in return. So when Rain does this small act of kindness in an effort to repay this Good Samaritan, Phayu becomes fascinated with him. 
(9) ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS B.R. (Before Rain)
Was he possibly a whore? Not as much of a whore as Prapai but he has definitely spun the block. Whereas our beloved service top Prapai has built a gated community in which he resides on said block. Phayu had a condom stashed under that toy car so we know he was getting some action.
He was probably not a whore whore because as he said to Rain in the bathroom scene:
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We all know why he’s particular. I don’t think he would have been able to find a lot of people willing to put up with his domineering attitude and controlling nature long term if they didn’t have that sort of kink no matter how insanely hot he is.
But there were definitely others before Rain if we can take cues from the offhanded comments of the other characters in the series. Saifah tells Rain in Episode 3 when he’s waiting for Phayu that there were others before him. Was it a lot of others though? The world may never know.
Saifah comments on the fact that Phayu has been single for a long time and Saifah tells him if he wants to be happy like him he should get in a serious relationship. So we can assume that long term romantic relationships for Phayu have more than likely been few and far between. He probably was not celibate though as we see how he was going to have a one night stand with Rain.
We see Saifah saying that he feels bad for whoever is making Phayu smile like that and how he warns him not to be too mean to Rain because he will run away. We can assume that others have been perturbed by how intense Phayu was in the past and they have run off.
I’m sure Saifah knows Phayu very well and even if he isn’t aware of the details of his kinkiness he knows Phayu has a thing about control and a mean streak. At least that’s what Saifah computes it as in his vanilla mind. I’m sure this poor man has heard and seen way too much. JUSTICE FOR SAIFAHH!!!!!!
Lastly before they get together Phayu constantly tests Rain to see if he can handle what a long term relationship with him would look like. I’m sure this comes from things not working out in the past and Phayu wanting to ensure that Rain can handle him.
We can see that Phayu may have abandonment issues from things not working out in the past with his romantic pursuits when in Episode 5 he’s scared and panicked and sad when Rain runs away after they have sex for the first time. I have three theories about this:
(1) He didn’t want to lose Rain because he’s a unicorn and he may never have hope of finding someone so perfect for him again.  
(2) He was abandoned before because he was too much and overbearing and it triggered him.
(3) He’s big on communication and he feels slighted that Rain ran away before they could discuss how their relationship would develop after they had sex for the first time.
It could have quite possibly been a combination of all of the above. Phayu seems like the type to be fully invested in a long term relationship and he seems like someone who loves deeply so I think him testing Rain was him just trying to ensure that Rain was worth the investment before he got too attached.
(10) PHAYU THE SCULPTOR ; HIS OBSESSION WITH POTENTIAL AND MOULDING THINGS TO HIS LIKING 
“Rain before you design a house you need to design your life first”- Phayu
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I get the impression that Phayu’s view on life is that everything can be curated and tailored to his liking if he tries hard enough. He’s definitely not a go with the flow kind of person. Every single move he makes is intentional. Looking at his two professions being an architect and his side of job of being a mechanic; these are two things that require moulding, precision.
Architects are able to create and design and bring their vision to life and make it tangible. It’s a very creative profession with the added bonus of having something you designed realised in real life.
Also mechanics are constantly tinkering with engines and in control of powerful machinery. Whether they work on maintenance, diagnostics, or repairs, they have to perform those tasks with exacting detail. That is because this careful work on important vehicle components could save someone’s life.
This speaks to Phayu’s pedantic nature with the added element of not wanting to deal with the consequences of disappointing Pakin. These machines are kind of like a puzzle to be solved.
But the catch is those things aren’t really his and they don’t truly belong to him.
In Episode 3 we can infer that sometimes clients may criticize his designs and he has to mould it to their liking instead of relying on his own vision.
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In Episode 1 Prapai tells him your babies are so beautiful (referring to the motorcycles) but Phayu corrects him and says that they don’t belong to him.
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But I think that although he doesn’t own these things and that he may be required to tailor the design of a house to someone else’s liking still these tasks scratch his itch for moulding and creating.
Then *enter stage left* a wild Rain appears, a blank canvas unmarred by past sexual or romantic experience. He has no expectations and no idea how anything works so he’s able to become a sort of pliable clay that Phayu can use his deft fingers to mold to his liking consequently making Rain his.
We can are shown how their relationship is mutually beneficial and how it works for them. Different folks have different strokes.
The glint in his eyes and the way Phayu all but shivers in excitement every time Rain tells him he can’t do something. 
Episode 4 – "I’ll teach you"
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Episode 6- "I'll train you to be the best rider"
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In the infamous Daddy scene in the special episode he says "When I teach I teach to the core" 
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It’s not explicitly stated but I’m sure this man got off constantly at the fact that he was Rain’s first everything when it came to sex and romance and he is constantly in charge of moulding him.
We can definitely see how much of a diligent student and quick learner Rain is and how Phayu is consequently able to enjoy the fruits of his labour. (SIDE NOTE: I’m sure Phayu wasn’t prepared for the monster he created in Rain.)
I love the reciprocity in their relationship as Phayu shows Rain just how desired he is and worships him constantly.
(11) WHY HE WAS DEFINITELY A KID WHO HATED SHARING HIS TOYS 
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Phayu strikes me as a man who knows exactly what he wants and  how to obtain it and when he finds it he will hold on to it and never let it go. We are given countless examples of Phayu’s blatant possessiveness over Rain once they begin their unorthodox courtship.
When after their first time Phayu says to Rain that he must repeat the phrase “Rain belongs to P’Phayu.”back to him.
This man heard that Pun was in Rain’s general vicinity and immediately drove to him to stake his claim. Also when he admits to being “insanely jealous” of Pun ever since he heard that Rain used to have a romantic interest in her.
He removes Saifah’s hand from Rain’s shoulder in Episode 4 and tells him to get back to work after Saifah suggests that he could teach Rain how to ride a super bike.
I do think this possessiveness is also in part because Phayu realises how much of a rare find Rain is and he will do everything in his power to ensure that they stay together forever. I also think in contrast, Rain’s possessiveness has more to do with him constantly having to fight off potential suitors because everyone is in love with Phayu (well the idea of him). 
I appreciate however that his possessiveness isn’t portrayed as particularly toxic because in episode 5 when Phayu is having lunch with Sky and Rain and Rain tells Sky he loves him after he told him that Phayu and him were dating.
Instead of getting unreasonable jealous of Rain and Sky’s obviously platonic relationship, Phayu simply says that he has no reason to be jealous because he knows that Sky and Rain are just friends.
I think if they ever decided on venturing out and engaging in a threesome it would 100% be Rain’s idea in order to satiate his own curiosity. Phayu would go along with it (ever indulgent of his sweet boy) but he would probably have to be in control the entire time while simultaneously barking orders at the third party about how to pleasure Rain properly.
(12) THE SADISTIC  LITTLE SHIT (AFFECTIONATE) AND HIS “DEK NGO”  "DEK NARAK"
I know PhayuRain and their kink list is longer than the elevator ride to hell but I’m going to focus on what in my opinion is Phayu’s poison of choice. That is sadism and degradation.
More specifically emotional and psychological sadism mostly. I don’t think he’s particularly opposed to physical sadism though. In the special episode he said he punished Rain until he was sore but Rain liked it. Although this is vague and he could have been sore for different reasons we see in Episode 2 when Phayu is berating Rain for breaking into the illegal race that isn’t above spanking Rain.
I don’t really know for sure if Rain is a masochist though I think he is definitely willing to try things with Phayu but he didn’t really seem to enjoy the spanking but I guess that was mostly because they didn’t know each other that well.
So I think while Phayu is mainly an emotional sadist and he prefers it he partakes in physical sadism with Rain because I think Rain would prefer that more based on his personality. This is mainly because of his obvious praise kink.
(CC: Rain’s blissed out expression when Phayu whispered “keng mak” i.e. “Good job” in his ear in the bathroom stall scene after Rain had followed his instructions.)
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So the degradation that comes along with emotional sadism may not be Rain’s cup of tea.
After the incident in Episode 3 where Phayu told Rain to change ‘ngo’ to ‘narak’ ; I think he realised how insecure Rain was about being called stupid and that this was a hard limit for Rain. We can see as the story progress after this incident where Phayu either calls him “naughty boy” or some version of good boy.
I do think that this is an example of how Phayu is willing to tailor and transform his kinks and compromise to ensure that Rain is comfortable. He realised that Rain responds far better to praise and made the necessary adjustments.
We also see Phayu’s penchant for degradation and humiliation in  Episode 3 where he buys Rain extra small underwear. Although they were the correct size for Rain, Phayu had to throw  in a little dick size shaming for his own amusement. The smug little smile after he riles Rain up about this speaks for itself. 
However I wanted to fight him when he made my baby Rain cry in episode 5 after he made Rain think that he didn’t want to be with him anymore. Although I kind of feel like this was sort of more punishment for the fact that Rain ran off after their first time in Episode 4 and made him worry. I guess it’s safe to add dacryphilia to their long ass kink list. Phayu you sadistic little shit. 
If we also listen to the words of Phayu in his little speech before they make out in episode 5, I swear the only thing missing from this was Phayu getting down on one knee and proposing to Rain. 
He says:
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We can see that he enjoys this and gets off on being the one to tease and degrade Rain. He knows Rain’s limits and he ensures that he follows up any degradation with praise as a  salve to any open wounds he’s caused with his words. I think Rain eventually adapts to this part of Phayu however because in Episode 7 he tells Phayu that he is willing to let Phayu tease him forever. 
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I love how they are both willing to adapt and compromise to better serve each other’s needs. Phayu constantly keeps Rain off kilter constantly guessing, constantly teasing him but at the same time he ensures that Rain understands that Phayu loves him and he is valued.
Phayu is constantly and reflexively adjusting himself to meet Rain's needs from moment to moment and I applaud him for it. Good job Daddy you get a gold star for all your hard work.
(13) PHAYU THE INVENTOR OF HEALTHY COMMUNICATION
This definitely has to be one of my favourite things about Phayu. I’m sure Rain isn’t the first person Phayu has attempted to have some sort of D/s relationship with and at the core of this is communication, consent and boundaries. 
D/s relationships especially 24/7 ones involve copious amounts of consent and negotiation and communication but I know that the show couldn’t necessarily explicitly address the fact that they are in a 24/7 D/s relationship so we don’t get any sit down moments where Phayu and Rain discuss it blatantly. However I would assume that at some point Phayu sat Rain down and explained to him what their dynamic is and what was expected of him.
We definitely see how much Phayu values communication in the Special Episode when Rain misreads a situation. Where he sees Phayu talking to Natsu on the couch in Phayu’s home. I mean to be fair sparks were flying between them. I don’t know  if that was just a Boss thing because good God this man can generate sexual tension with a  wall. (Went off on a tangent there moving on back to communication.)
I think that Phayu understands that Rain has a sort of inferiority complex that is made worse by people being constantly baffled as to how Rain ended up with a guy like Phayu. Rain also most likely due to immaturity and lack of life experience has a problem with communication and conflict resolution. 
Phayu has to drag the confession out of Rain about why he’s upset with him. We see where this man has quite literally done nothing wrong yet still he gets on his knees to apologise and tries to make it up to Rain. 
I love that Phayu possesses the maturity to  never allow misunderstandings to remain unaddressed and fester. Although Rain may lack the maturity to speak up and directly tell Phayu what is bothering him in any given situation, Phayu ensures that they talk it out so that their conflicts do not go unresolved and that resentment does not have the opportunity to set in. 
(14) PHAYU SEX & SEXUALITY 
Phayu is an unapologetically shameless and sexual person. This comfortability in his sexuality and his lack of preoccupation with other people's opinion of him allows him to exude a calm self assurance and striking sex appeal subconsciously. 
This comfortability with his own sexuality was displayed many times throughout the series. In Episode 3 when that are at the porridge shop and Phayu goads Rain into being unashamed of the fact that they were in public and on a date with each other.
In Episode 5 after Rain told Sky that he was dating Phayu he said he was happy that Rain told his best friend about them because he understands that he would be apprehensive in case Sky would start to see him differently. I like that he lets Rain come out on his own time and he doesn’t rush him. Lastly in Episode 6 Phayu proudly introduces Rain as his boyfriend to P’ Chai at the street race. 
Phayu is a readymade character who has presumably gone through the stage in his life where he would have explored his sexuality and unusual proclivities and has come to the point of acceptance. I think that is why he is portrayed as someone who knows exactly what he likes and enjoys and is unashamed of it.
This is why he seems to be such a safe place for Rain to explore the full spectrum of his own sexuality.  There is never any judgement in Phayu's eyes when they uncover another one of Rain’s off the walls kinks. We just see at most a sort of mild amusement and an instant willingness to acquiesce and indulge Rain.
Phayu being out and proud made Rain feel like it was ok to have these feelings so his apprehension about identifying as such quickly dissipated.He’s constantly willing to teach, indulge and hold Rain’s hand through this journey and I just think that’s so neat. 
Everyone deserves to have a safe place like Phayu when dipping their toes in and navigating the troubled unpredictable waters of sex and sexuality especially when coming to terms with their own queerness. 
WHAT IS PHAYU’S MAIN MOTIVATION THAT UNDERSCORES EVERYTHING SINGLE ACTION THAT HE TAKES?
The simple answer to this is control. This is important because I don’t see Phayu as someone who particularly chases after power but control? Yes most definitely.Power is the ability to make something happen. Control is the ability to make something happen the way you want. We are all created differently but Phayu needs control at all times in the same way we need oxygen to survive. It’s just the way his wires were crossed. 
Phayu could have easily just admitted to Rain on their first meeting that he remembered him and he could have left it to chance how their encounter would have gone. He could have also gone through the Prapaiesque route and  just pursued Rain himself. 
But he was different; he made sure that he was in control of  their dynamic from the very beginning. The aforementioned options left far too many variables that could have thrown a wrench in Phayu’s end game which was getting Rain. 
He even somehow managed to get Rain to pursue him and have him think that it was his idea. Even though he was the one who liked Rain from the very beginning.
This desperate all-consuming need to be in control at all times is tempered by Phayu’s ability to adequately shoulder the responsibility that comes with that control. Everything he does is calculated. There is always an end goal. Consequently he thrives and is most content when he has someone like Rain to be in charge of in a sense.
The contentment and ease that seems to overtake Phayu when he and Rain are in an established relationship is a sight to see. He’s no longer untethered; he's firm and grounded.
CHARACTER’S RELATIONSHIP TO THE PLOT
There isn’t too much angst and the denouement/final conflict just concerns external factors and has nothing to do with Phayu Rain’s romantic relationship
The plot is just romance; from the meet cute in the rain to the established relationship. I love how we just felt like we were along for the ride to watch two men fall irrevocably in love with each other and fit together perfectly like puzzle pieces.
CHARACTER’S GROWTH AND DEVELOPMENT THROUGHOUT THE SERIES
I’m going to be honest I don’t think there was much life altering character growth with Phayu. When we meet Phayu he seems like a fully fleshed out character who knows what he wants and isn’t ashamed of his proclivities and sexuality so there is no room to explore there or for any consequent development. Phayu is a static character with no change in behaviour, and his values and attitudes remain pretty consistent throughout the entirety of the text and the series. 
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I don’t think I’m getting over PhayuRain anytime soon. If you got all the way to the end I hope you enjoyed my ramblings. Let me know if you guys have anything to add. The plot as well as the characters in this show were a far cry from perfect but I keep coming back to it so they must have done something right. 
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sebastianravkin · 4 months ago
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A FUNERAL FOR NEIL-GAIMAN
My hyper fixated autistic mind keeps running the Neil-Gaiman allegations around and around in my head and I need to find a way to move past the hero in my mind. Even though I believed Neil-Gaiman when he said ‘you never want to meet your heroes’, even though I am old enough to know better, even though I assumed Neil-Gaiman probably had issues and hangups that didn’t come through in his friendly and wise public persona, I have still been hit hard by the extent that I was wrong. I need ritual, closure, a way to move on. So I WILL BE HOLDING A PRIVATE FUNERAL FOR MY HEAD-CANON NEIL-GAIMAN. Maybe others want to hold their own funerals, maybe it will help, and so I put this out there for you to consider.    
To be clear - and many may disagree and I am fine with that - I do not care in theory if Neil slept with younger women, I slept with older men and think of myself as better for it. I do not care that Neil practices BDSM as long as it is safe and consensual. I do not care if Neil had an open marriage if it was agreed upon by both parties. I believe Neil is autistic, and that can make intimate (or really any) communication difficult sometimes, but I do not think that is an excuse. I believe Neil suffers depression and suicidal ideation, but I do not think that gives him a pass for treating others poorly. 
I care that Neil took advantage of women who were at a disadvantage - financially, professionally, mentally, emotionally. I care that he was proposing sex with women after being married to his first wife for only a year and who was probably obliviously at home with their new baby. I care that Neil is no where near the man I thought he was, I hoped he was, I believed he was and that made the world a slightly better place. 
So, I will be holding a funeral for Neil-Gaiman. For the man who spoke of his own heroes - Terry Pratchett and Gene Wolfe - as polite and kind and wise and (I made the mistake of assuming) as role-models for his own behavior. For the man who appeared to be so kind and funny, with no ulterior motives, on Tumblr to so many fans. For the man who has written the books that I have read and reread to get through various crises in my life and so I assumed he had a deeper wisdom than I about life. For the man that I had a serious crush on since the 1990s. For the man who inspired various aspects of my own writing about, and understanding of, humanity. This man is fictionally dead, because this man was a fiction. His art lives on, and I will continue to love the art because I can not simply turn that off. 
What will this funeral be like? Probably some candles. Probably some tears. Probably burning a photo or two, but never never a book. Comfort food, definitely. Sad music. Maybe watch my favorite moments in Good Omens. Or read my favorite short story in Trigger Warnings. Or maybe just work my way through The Sandman again. I will grieve him like I grieve the end of a good book, or the death of a favorite character in a story, or the loss of a favorite place on the landscape.
The fact that there is some other dude out there that looks like Neil-Gaiman, who I think of as just Neil (because every ‘Neil’ I have known was an ass, which should have been a red flag really), is too bad. Maybe Neil is self-destructive, maybe Neil harms others to harm himself, maybe Neil will find help, find a way back from the depths he has thrown himself into. Or maybe Neil is just a dick; always has been, always will be. You can be autistic and self-loathing and depressive and suicidal and still be kind. But you can also be all of those things, and also just be a dick.
R.I.P. Neil-Gaiman.  I am done. I have no more to say on this.
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blue-slxt · 1 year ago
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Our Song Cord: Can't Help Falling
(Chapter 2)
🔞Minors Do Not Interact🔞
A/N: I know I said it was gonna be up this morning, but I got caught up with other shit lol. So here it is. Things start to heat up a little in this chapter. I have a soft spot for virgin characters. I think I just really identify with all the curiosity and nerves that come with discovering all this stuff lol. This is also one of the longest chapters I've ever written for anything. Anyways, I hope you guys enjoy! Every chapter title is a song reference so if you know the song, you get a cookie. I really really appreciate feedback so comments and reblogs are heavily encouraged. All characters are aged up.
Series Masterlist
Previous Part | Next Part
Pairing: Neteyam x Fem!Omatikaya!Reader
Warnings: Friends to Lovers, Cheating? (depends on how you look at it), Fingering, Oral (M receiving), Heat Cycle, Masturbation (briefly), I think that's all.
Word Count: 5.7k
Summary: You and Neteyam have mastered the basics and feel like it's time to move on to the next step.
For the next week or so, you and Neteyam continue with your “training” sessions. You never really go farther than what you’ve already done. You know, just to make sure you both really have it down. On more than a couple occasions, you had to explain away little purple marks that Neteyam would leave littered around your jaw, neck, and chest after getting carried away.
“Just got a little too rough while we were sparring.” You’d laugh it off when questioned.
“Neteyam, you need to learn how to pull some of your punches, skxawng!” Kiri would chide him.
Once you both feel like you have a real handle on what you’re doing, Neteyam tells you how he’s finally going to put all his practice to good use. He’s finally going to try making out with Layao. You send him off with an encouraging smile that doesn’t quite reach your eyes and a sinking feeling in your gut, but still words of reassurance all the same. It was almost as if you were nervous for him. But there was no reason to be nervous. He was good, really good. Neteyam had mastered the art of making you breathless with just a kiss in a matter of no time. He really was a prodigy. He was going to completely sweep her off her feet, no question about it. But maybe, that was the reason for the nerves.
Still, his excitement as he recounted his eventful night with her was contagious.
“You should have seen me! I did it just like how we practiced. And she looked almost as pretty as you do when we were done.”
He may not have caught it, but you certainly did. Your brain can’t help but hyper-fixate on the use of the word ‘almost’, but you tuck that away into the background to mull over later. For now, you were listening to your best friend eagerly tell you all about his conquest while pushing away the growing nausea in your gut.
“That’s great, Teyam. I told you, you’re a natural.” You say offering him a genuine smile.
“Well, it’s not like I can take all the credit.” He says nudging your shoulder with his. A sheepish smile crosses your lips. “So, I was thinking that we should move on to more advanced stuff since we seem to have the basics down now, don’t you think?” he suggests.
It causes you to pause momentarily thinking about the more “advanced” interactions the two of you could have with each other. “O-oh, yea. Definitely. It’s like you read my mind.” You try to play it off as if your mind isn’t screaming at you right now.
“Great, then I will see you tonight.” His charming smile is almost too gorgeous to look at right now. There’s no way anyone could convince you that Neteyam wasn’t one of Eywa’s favorites.
“Alright, so what are we trying tonight?” you ask leaning your back against a nearby tree. Neteyam’s hands clenched and relaxed at his sides which he often did when he was nervous about something. Your own anxiety feeds off of his as your eyes watch him carefully and he tries to build up the courage to say his idea out loud.
“Well…we already have everything sorted out up top…” his hands quickly gesture to your chest and his eyes fall to look at the ground instead of your face. “S-so, I thought it might be time to move…you know…lower” his voice is basically a whisper by the time he finishes his sentence. Your legs instinctively squeeze together and you suddenly feel extremely vulnerable just even thinking about his hands down there. Neteyam seems to notice your slight change in posture. “We don’t have to, though, if you don’t feel ready to try that yet.” The words tumble out of his mouth so fast you would think it was all one long word.
“No no no, it’s fine. I’m just maybe a little nervous.” You admit letting your gaze follow his to the ground. Your ears fall to your head hoping the ground would swallow you to save you from this incredibly vulnerable feeling brewing in your chest. Neteyam takes a few steps towards where you were still perched against the tree until he was close enough to hold your face and make you look back up at him. His face was close enough for you to catch the faint reflection of your tanhì in his gorgeous honey-colored eyes.
“I’ll be gentle.”
You’re not sure if it’s the low tone of his voice dancing around your ears, the way his thumb stroked your cheek, or just the sheer proximity, but something had your body buzzing all over like a million bees.
“I know you will, Teyam. Just…kiss me first? To help ease me into it.” It’s incredibly embarrassing to ask for it, but right now, your want far outweighed your embarrassment.
His hand stays planted against your cheek when he leans in and kisses you. His body presses into yours and his other hand familiarly lands on your hip. You let your mind get lost in the moment. So lost that you don’t even feel when your own arms drape around his neck and hold him close to you. It’s as if your body is moving on its’ own carrying out your deepest desires without you needing to tell it what to do. Your legs part allowing his body to slot right into place. The throbbing between your thighs is growing by the second.
You take hold of his hand on your hip and move it lower to the waistband of your loincloth. Neteyam breaks the kiss to look down at his hand and then back at your face. You give the tiniest nod of your head to encourage him to continue and his fingers trail under your loincloth and come into direct contact with your core. His ears and eyebrows both shoot up feeling you for the first time.
“It’s so warm and slippery.” He says experimentally dragging his fingers through your folds.
“That’s how it’s supposed to be” you try to ignore the shakiness of your voice as it leaves your throat. “The most important part is the clit.” His fingers go still against you while he looks at you listening intently.
“It’s a small little nub near the top. It’s really sensitive and you’re going to want to really get familiar with it.” You explain feeling your face get hot.
He pulls his fingers forward until he reaches the little bud that makes you squeak when he presses against it. “That’s it.” A small smile crosses his lips momentarily before he speaks again.
“So, now what do I do?” “Well, everybody likes something different, but you usually can’t go wrong with just rubbing little circles into it.” You could really only speak from your own experience of nights that you had done this to yourself.
“Like this?” his finger harshly pushes against your clit and it makes you jump.
“A little softer. Not so much pressure, okay? It’s a really sensitive spot so you don’t want to do it too hard.”
He nods his head processing your advice. He lightens his touch and tentatively rubs circles around and around on your clit. Fuck, he was perfect at this already. After that one quick adjustment, his pressure and speed were nothing short of flawless. “Mmf…haah th-that’s good. Just like that…” your knees buckle under you and if it weren’t for the tree you were pressed against, you probably would’ve been on the ground already. Your head falls back to the tree and your eyes close silently praying that you could live in this moment that you’ve dreamt about countless times forever. Small mewls and moans pass your lips under his touch.
Neteyam is trying desperately to ignore the way his own dick is throbbing in his loincloth listening to the sounds you’re making. He does his best to ensure that he’s putting forth his best effort to make you feel good. And fuck, was he making you feel good. The pleasure overtakes any sense of logic that you may have been holding onto.
“M-more…”
Neteyam looks at you with eyelids already starting to hood his eyes.
“I…I want to feel you inside…” your cheeks burn saying it out loud, but it feels as if you might be devoured whole by your desire if you don’t feel him where your need is the strongest.
“Are you sure? I mean, you’re okay with—”
“Mhm…please, Teyam…”
His ears twitch in your direction at your sensual pleas and his dick twitches begging to be the one that fills you. He cautiously moves his fingers between your folds that were now dripping down his knuckles. When he reaches your entrance, he lightly probes at you with one of his fingers making you clench around nothing until he finally pushes inside. His jaw drops open feeling the way your walls suck his finger right in and envelope him in a feeling of slippery warmth.
It feels like your breathing stutters in your throat as his finger stretches you. His finger was so much bigger than your own and you’ve never been more aware of that fact than right now as he unintentionally pressed the pad of his finger against the spongey part of your walls.
“Mm!” you do your best to muffle your sounds
“Is this okay?” his voice conveys his concern, but his eyes hold only a lusty haze while they jump around from your eyes to your lips and chest and between your thighs that sat spread for him.
“Y-yea…now, just angle your finger towards the front and move in and out slowly.”
“Like this?” he slowly pulls his finger out just to the top knuckle and then sinks back in at just the angle you need.
“Ahh…yea, right there” You don’t mean for it to sounds as enticing as it comes out, but Neteyam can feel his self-restraint slipping away. He can’t stop himself from attaching his lips to their favorite spot on your neck and nipping little bites into your soft skin. His finger never stops thrusting up into you and your legs are starting to feel like jelly beneath you.
Your arms hold tight around his neck to help keep you upright. It’s almost automatic the way your leg hikes up around his waist to give his hand even more access to you.
“Nete~…” you call out completely not meaning to. You’ve never called him that name. The only people who called him that were girls in the clan hoping to catch his attention with their sweet voices and swishing tails. He always said it was embarrassing, but in this moment, hearing it roll off your lips, it makes him groan against your skin.
“Say it again…need…need to hear you…” his voice is breathy and his words broken between his heavy breathing that fans your jaw line as he continues kissing everywhere he can reach.
You weren’t expecting that kind of response, but you comply regardless.
“Nete…oh, Great Mother, I’m going to cum!” your body tightens its hold on him pressing his body right up against you hoping it’ll anchor you to this plane of existence. This was nothing like doing it to yourself and now you wonder how you’ve managed to go this long without the touch of another person. And you think that you never want to be without this feeling ever again.
His cheek is pressed right up against your own and his free hand gropes at your breast. It takes the last thread of his sanity to not scent you right now as he feels your impending climax threatening to strangle his finger right off his hand.
“Haah…go ahead, let me feel it.” His voice is right next to your ear sending shivers down your spine. Almost on command, the knot in your body snaps and you cum with trembling legs and a small, almost silent scream from your mouth. Your nails leave deep purple indents on his skin from where you’re holding onto him and even Neteyam lets out a small moan feeling your walls convulse around him as you ride out your high. His hands go still against you when you come down and he pulls his face back to look at you.
Looking up at Neteyam right now, you can’t seem to bring your brain to recognize him as your best friend that you’ve known since before you could remember, but instead, you see a gorgeous man hovering just inches away from your face who’s gazing down at you like he wants to give you the world and you want to let him.
Neither of you say a word when he carefully slides his finger out of you and holds his hand up to examine how his skin glistens in the moonlight covered in your slick that’s still trickling down his hand.
Neteyam isn’t sure what kind of compulsion came over him that moment, but with no hesitation, he brings his finger to his lips and licks it clean before you can find the words to protest. Your ears pin to your head but you feel physically unable to look away from him. He moans lowly at the taste of you on his finger.
“You taste sweet.”
Somehow, you are equal parts mortified and turned on. Your eyes want to fall to the ground, but they get distracted at the tenting of his loincloth. You let one of your hands fall from his shoulder to palm him through the fabric. He sucks in a sharp breath at the contact.
“You don’t have to do that.”
You look up at his face, “I want to.”
It takes a second for the implications of your words to really settle in your mind.
“I-I mean, I need to learn how to do this too, you know…” A lie. Truth was, you were so desperate to have him right now, you thought you might actually go insane. But of course, you’d never be able to tell that to him, you can barely even tell it to yourself.
There’s only a thick silence as Neteyam resigns himself to you and lets you undo the knot holding his loincloth around his hips. The fabric falls to the ground and…oh, fuck, Neteyam really was Eywa’s favorite. It’s not like you really knew what was considered average, but you had a general idea from the talk amongst the other girls in the clan. And Neteyam was far above average. Just something else to make him even more perfect.
You sink to your knees in front of him and Neteyam is simultaneously thankful for the dark so that you can’t see the flush of his cheeks, but he also curses it as it prevents him from seeing you clearly the way he really wants to right now.
“S-so, do I just…grab it?” you finally pull your eyes back up to his face waiting for him to guide you in what to do.
“Um, well, first, you should spit in your hand.” His voice is low, clearly embarrassed about explaining this kind of thing. You cock an eyebrow at him feeling skeptical about what he’s asking you to do. “It helps your hand slide smoother.”
You know that Neteyam would never intentionally lead you astray, so you do ask he says and let a long stream of saliva fall into your palm. His big hand holds your wrist and guides your hand to wrap around his length. It’s firm just like the muscles in his arms and it’s heavy in your hand.
“Just slowly move your hand like this…” his hand gently moves yours back and forth along him. After a couple of experimental strokes, he removes his hand and lets you continue on your own. It feels so…indecent, but also strangely thrilling.
“Is this good?”
“Mm…yea, you can do it a little tighter.” He says trying to keep his voice from wavering. You add some more pressure to your hold while still keeping your rhythm and Neteyam lets out a shaky breath. You’ve been watching his face the whole time, but when he makes eye contact with you, your chest squeezes feeling overwhelmed. So, you choose to focus on your hand instead. Watching the repetitive stroke of your hand and how his tip disappears into your palm only to poke back through feels like falling into a trance. A trance so deep that it removes any and all semblance of sanity you may have still had. Your mouth starts to salivate and drool down your chin which you wipe away with the back of your free hand.
It’s not enough. You need more. You want to give him more. It’s almost as if you’re watching yourself, but you can’t do anything to stop when you gently take him into your mouth. He’s so big, it’s a wonder how it would ever fit inside of your pussy. But fuck, if you didn’t want to make it fit.
“Haah…w-wait…” Neteyam’s voice is shaky and breathless being completely caught off guard by the all-encompassing warmth that now wrapped around him. He almost wants to tell you not to push yourself and that you don’t have to go this far tonight. Almost. But when his eyes find yours looking up at him big and glazed over with over half of his dick in your mouth, he is absolutely powerless to stop you.
You’re not entirely sure what to do besides just moving your head up and down. You try to incorporate your tongue by licking and dragging here and there. From what you can tell from his face and the sounds he’s making, the tip feels the best especially when you drag your tongue from the underside of it to the slit.
“A-ah fuck”
His hips are twitching and his muscles tense and relax while you work on him. Your desire to make him feel good drives you to try and fit more of him in your mouth. His tip pokes and prods at the back of your throat and it’s so thick, you can’t hold it there for more than a second or two before you need to pull back for air. But the way that it makes his chin drop to his chest and his eyes squeeze shut while he moans out praises for you makes it worth it.
“Hng…just like that”
He looks like he’s close and you were determined to get him there. You push him to the back of your throat again and his dick twitches inside of your mouth.
“Ah, I’m going to cum!” his eyes shoot open to watch you while you coax his release out of him.
You pop your mouth off of him and pump him with your fist right in front of your face.
“Wait, y-your face…” he starts, but you couldn’t care less.
“It’s okay. Just let go, Nete.” That’s all it took and he was done for. His release comes out in hot, thick ropes of white that spill over your hand and shoot onto your mouth and chin. His head falls back as he cums with a loud groan and a force that damn near knocks him off of his feet.
When he’s done, you release your hold on him and just stare in awe at the remnants of him on your hand. He looks down at you trying to find his breath and sees how you let your tongue swipe across your bottom lip to taste him.
It takes every ounce of focus he just regained to not get hard again from watching you.
“Hmm…tastes like utumauti. It’s nice.” you say letting the flavor dance around your tongue.
Neteyam quickly pulls his loincloth back on and pulls a piece of cloth from a satchel on his side.
“Here, let me help wipe you off.” He says kneeling in front of you.
“You know you don’t have to do that, Teyam.” You subconsciously revert to your regular nickname for him.
“I know, but it only feels right.” He says already grabbing your hand and swiping away the mess. This man was too sweet for his own good. Your heart can’t help but ache a bit at watching it go to waste, but you bite your tongue and settle for the ghost of the flavor still in your mouth. When he’s done with your hand, he reaches out to your face and starts wiping it off too. His eyes stay focused on the areas where he’s wiping, but your eyes are admiring his features in the soft glow of the moonlight. Neteyam has always been good looking, but he’s more than just handsome. He’s beautiful. He’s the kind of pretty that hurts to look at for too long. The kind that makes your heart flutter and ache with a burning need. And the kind that makes you greedily want to keep him all to yourself.
And then it clicks. When he notices you staring and his eyes meet yours, the pieces fit together. You love this man. You have always loved him. All these years, what you thought was just admiration for his work ethic, humming his song cord to yourself when you went about your day, the way your heart thundered when he would wrap you in one of his legendary hugs, all of it…was love.
And you wouldn’t come to know this until much later, but Neteyam realized the same exact thing in that same moment.
He’s the first to break the eye contact clearing his throat. “I think that’s all of it.”
“Thanks.” There’s a long moment of silence while the weight of everything sits on both of your chests. “Um, I think that’s good for tonight. Good work. I’m sure you’ll do great with Layao.” Her name brings a sharp sting to your chest, but you do your best to push the feeling away.
“Right. Right. Thanks. Um, you did good too. Were you planning on putting all your practice to use any time soon?”
You truly hadn’t actually thought about that part. Neteyam already had an intended mate that he was practicing for. But what about you? You didn’t have any solid prospects since everyone in the clan always thought you and Neteyam would end up together. You had never seriously considered what this would actually mean for you in terms of finding a mate.
“O-oh yea. There’s somebody I have in mind.” Another lie.
Neteyam presses his lips into a line nodding at you. “Well, he’s lucky.” He doesn’t bother to press you about who this mystery man is because he knows that if he finds out who it is, he wouldn’t be able to look at him without forever feeling the bitter pang of jealousy.
“We should probably start heading back.” You suggest finally standing to your feet. “I’ll head back first.”
“Right. See you later.” He says unable to pry his eyes away from the sway of your hips on your retreating figure.
“Let me guess, more training?” Kiri says gesturing to the small purple marks left from your previous night.
You laugh a little trying not to give away the flashsbacks playing through your mind. “You know it.” “I swear, for someone so even tempered, Neteyam really needs to learn how to hold back more.” She says grinding some herbs together.
“It’s fine. It’s not his fault. I kinda spur him on, I guess.”
“Well, you’d better start fighting back harder. He hardly ever has a mark on him.” She says finally walking over to you with a small sack of various herbs and placing it in your hands.
“I’ll make a note of that” you say giggling a bit. “Thanks for these.” “You know, I don’t know why you won’t just find a guy to help you through your heat. It would be much better and more effective than any of these herbs. Especially since they’ll start to be less effective over time.” She says kind of rolling her eyes at you.
“Yeah, yeah, so you’ve mentioned before. I don’t know. I just haven’t found the right guy that does it for me yet.” You shrug your shoulders and try to control the blush trying to creep into your face and stand to leave.
“Oh, wait before you go” a less familiar voice calls out to you. It’s Layao walking over to you with a giddy smile. “What kind of things does Neteyam like? I want to make him something, but I can’t decide what he’d like best. I figured since you know him better than anyone, I should ask you for your opinion.”
She was right, you did know him better than anyone. Even better than anyone would ever know.
“Oh, well, he likes yovo fruit and arm bands. You can’t really go wrong with those.” The tightening of your chest is nearly strangling the breath right out of you. You can’t, and won’t, stand in the way of what was already decided.
“Yovo and arm bands. Got it. Thank you.” She says before walking back over to her corner of the healing tent.
It’s a harsh reminder of the fact that you stupidly realized far too late that you loved the man you couldn’t have. You dismiss the thoughts with a quick shake of your head and start on the path home.
You have to prepare. Your heat will be here soon and you needed to ensure that you have enough food and water and supplies to get you through. Cycle after cycle you would writhe in agony on the floor of your home for days on end. From what you’ve heard, having a partner makes your heat pass much quicker. And it’s not like it was uncommon for young Na’vi to explore sex with many partners before mating, but that just wasn’t what you wanted. You didn’t want it to just be whatever willing participant you could stumble upon.
Looking around your home right now, you’re realizing that you may not have enough utumauti. It’s your favorite during your cycles and even though you have a hefty amount, knowing how quickly you can go through those, you felt like it would be best to air on the side of caution and get more.
On your way out into the forest, you bump into Aykxo.
“Oh, hey. Sorry, I didn’t see you down there.” He jokes. Even for a Na’vi, Aykxo was tall. Tall enough to see clear over your head without trying. He probably actually didn’t see you.
You readjust your top and reassure him that it’s fine.
“You’re Neteyam’s friend, right?” he asks.
Your eyes squint at him a bit in confusion, but also suspicion. “Yeah, I am. Why?”
“Are you…just his friend?” You don’t miss the way his eyes quickly scan your body up and down. Okay, so that’s where this was going.
“Yup. We are just friends.” It makes you cringe to say out loud. It’s not technically a lie. It was true that, officially, you and Neteyam were only best friends and as far as anybody else knew, that’s all you were. But in truth, you were something more to each other, no matter how hard either of you may try to justify the turn in your relationship with the ‘training’ excuse.
“Good to know. Then, you wouldn’t mind maybe meeting me later after eclipse?” His hand trails down the side of your arm to your hand where he takes hold of it. He certainly is bold. The act is enough to give you chills, but not in the same way that you’re used to.
You can feel a pair of eyes burning holes into you and when you find the source of the searing gaze, it’s none other than your ‘just friend’, Neteyam standing near the opening of the healing tent with Layao and Kiri. Layao has her arms wrapped securely around Neteyam’s arm while her head rests on his shoulder and she talks with Kiri. Neteyam is clearly uninterested in whatever they were talking about and was much more curious about your conversation.
You finally turn back to Aykxo, “Yeah, sounds nice.”
He smiles and kisses your hand before continuing in the direction he was originally headed. You decided you need to at least try to give other guys a chance. And Aykxo was handsome and a good hunter and all. After all, this is what you’ve been preparing for, isn’t it?
“So, I saw you talking with Aykxo earlier.” Neteyam starts to inquire. He decided soon after the encounter to join you on your hunt for more utumauti.
“Yeah, I guess he wants to meet later tonight after eclipse. I told him I’d come, but I don’t know. I’m kind of nervous about it.” You do your best to sound at least casual instead of disinterested. If you would have turned to look at Neteyam, you would’ve noticed how his gaze grew shifty.
“Were you planning to try…?” his words trail off implying what he wants to say without actually saying it.
“I don’t know. I haven’t really decided yet.”
“You know he’s going to fall in love with you if you do, right?” He keeps picking fruit, but you whip around to look at him with slightly wider eyes.
“How do you figure?” You ask cocking your head at him.
“I mean if you do what you did before, no man in his right mind could not fall in love with you.”
Your heart skips a beat. And then another. Your mouth gets stuck open waiting to find words to form around. Clearly, the insinuation of his statement hits you far before it hits him since he just continues gathering until he notices your silence and turns to see your stunned expression.
“I-I mean, you know, not trying to say—just, what I mean is…you were just really good is what I was trying to say.” His words are jumbled and stuttering and his face is a deep purple while he tries to avoid eye contact with you right now. You can’t help the grin that slides across your face watching this adorably goofy man lose his composure.
“What about you? You and Layao definitely looked very cozy today”, you taunt. “You might not even have to do anything more to get her to be head over heels for you.”
He chuckles lowly to himself, “You may be right. Still, I want to make sure that I’m prepared for anything.”
“Of course.”
“Anyways, do you really think this many utumauti is reasonable? Your heat is only 3 days, you have enough to last an average family for a week!” he exaggerates, but he does this every time you’re gathering supplies for your heat.
“You know it’s my favorite. It’s basically the only thing I eat for those 3 whole days. I need a lot of it.”
“If you say so, but this still seems excessive if you ask me. There’s no way anyone can eat this much in just 3 days.”
“Don’t underestimate me, Teyam. You know me better than that.” You tsk at him waving your finger.
It feels like your nerves are going to eat you alive walking with Aykxo through the forest tonight. Neteyam had sent you off with an encouraging smile and the reminder to “blow him away”. You rolled your eyes at his stupid joke, but it did help in somewhat easing the tension that had made a home in your gut.
Your hand feels clammy letting Aykxo lead you through the night. Or maybe that’s just in your mind. But your whole body feels off kilter with the anticipation. Soon, you both reach a small clearing and you let out a small yelp when he suddenly pulls you into his arms and holds you against his chest.
“O-oh, uh…” you start, but Aykxo is clearly uninterested in talking as he starts to attack your neck with kisses and licks and nips. He groans against your skin letting his hands roam up and down your body.
Even though your mind is completely taken aback, your body erupts in goosebumps all over and you feel hot. You don’t want this, but why is your body behaving like it does? When you try to turn your head away from him, your balance feels shaky, at best. That’s when it hits you, your heat is here. It shouldn’t be here already. You should have another few days. But it seems to have other plans for you.
Home. You need to get home right this instant. You place your hands against Aykxo’s chest and gently push him back off of you. When he looks at you, he’s clearly confused about why you stopped him.
“I’m sorry, I just…I thought we were just going to talk. Um, I think I need to go.” You say fighting your body’s urge to submit to the nearest living being. If you were on day 2 or 3, you might be desperate enough to give in, but his pheromones are slightly off-putting to your nose. They’re not the worst, but not enough to make you want him this close to you right now.
“But I thought—” he says, but you don’t let him finish. You don’t have the time to listen to the rest of his sentence.
“I’m so sorry. I really just need to go.” You say already backing out of his hold and turning to run back home. Of course, you feel bad leaving him there high and dry and clearly giving him the wrong impression, but that’s something to worry about later when you can actually control your mind and body. For now, your main focus is hiding away at home and riding out these next 3 excruciating days.
You sprint home as fast as your feet will carry you and a blink of relief hits you when it finally comes into view. You break through the opening and fall onto your sleep mat trying to catch your breath. The itch is starting to creep in much stronger than is usual for your first day. Your body is calling out for relief. You let your fingers crawl under your loincloth and between your legs to hopefully find some comfort. When your fingers slip between your wet folds, it makes your ears twitch with curiosity when the name that slips past your lips is ‘Neteyam’…
Taglist: @soleilmoon @netemoon @fifia-writes @strangersav11
@eywascall @neteyamsluvts @heart-an0n @iman-lu @xylianasblog @theunfortunateplace @hyejusdiary @savvysscandles @randxmthxughts @tiredmamaissy @yeosxxx @atwow69 @bellstwd @iseeyouuu @simp4ff @universal-s1ut @mynameisjuno @teyamsatan @uaze123 @nelissecrectplace  @angrypomeranianwifey @perfectxserendipity @yumimak @rainbowturdz @rhiannonhippiegirl @sullymenrhot @hiddensnow1 @rainymoonsheep @ivysully @badbussylol @afro-hispwriter @fandom-geek17 @teyamsmate @iameatingmyhair
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shadowonwater · 3 months ago
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Mob Psycho 100 Fanfic Recs
Hyper fixating on Mob Psycho rn and have been reading a bunch of fanfic. So I thought I'd be nice to create a list of some of them.
All fics listed are completed unless I specify otherwise.
Also here's someone else's MP100 fanfic masterpost for more recs: here
Last updated: 9/20/24
Issho by ToastyToaster22
VERY long read. Main character is child Teru. An AU in which Teru met Mob and Ritsu before the incident where Ritsu got hurt. Story really gets across the evil of Claw with them kidnapping kids and harassing the few who keep getting away from them. Story also shows Teru's shitty neglectful parents and Dad!Reigen. Teru goes through the ringer in this fic. Fic takes place over the course of 2 - 3 years.
In general this writer has a lot of great Mob Psycho writing. They write a lot about Teru and TeruMob. Also I really like their take on the Kageyama parents. We may not see much of those parents in cannon but it's clear they do care about their kids. Toasty does a great job on using them as actual characters.
Immoral Support by c_c_cherry
Teru lives alone, and has been living alone for awhile. He's given money from his parents but that's it. He knows how to fake signatures but now the school is demanding to see a guardian in-person. Teru not knowing what to do, pretends that Reigen is his guardian, things go on from there.
The Ties were Black, The Lies were White by generally
There is some sex in this story, fyi. Basically Reigen is going to his sister's wedding and can bring a plus-one. Serizawa wants to go with him. They decide to go as "business partners". They do things such as sharing a bed and dancing as "business partners". Of course they realize their feelings for each other and confess. The sex scene is a bit after that.
Walking Mob Home by CryRan88
A short two chapter story about Reigen walking Mob home after work. First chapter: Mob feel asleep and Reigen gives him a piggy back ride to Mob's house. 2nd chapter: Reigen is asleep and Mob gets Dimple to posses him so he can still walk Mob home without actually waking him up.
Mother by Sunlolli
Reigen's got some mommy issues. His mom dies and starts haunting him. The espers in Reigen's life don't want to get rid of her without Reigen's permission but she's really messing him up and he just wants to get some approval from her. Story is a bit depressing but very good.
In Quicksand by SpiritusRex
Reigen gets possessed and gets sick. Unreliable narrator Reigen. Don't worry, the spirit gets caught pretty quickly, and Reigen ends up fine.
It Takes Time by CowardlyBean
A very short fic about Reigen quitting smoking for Mob's sake. Very cute.
you'll have to make due with a reasonable facsimile by SoliAvi
A short fic that takes place right after the end of the separation arc. Reigen and Mob eat ramen together again and Reigen apologizes. Very sweet.
When you need me by SpiritusRex
A 5 + 1 fic. 5 Times Mob hugged Reigen and 1 time Reigen hugged Mob. 1: Little Mob asking for advise about nightmares. 2: Mob being hurt after the Teru fight. 3: Mob holding onto Reigen to float them both back home after the first Claw arc. 4: After the Mogami arc. 5: After separation arc. +1: Reigen hugging Mob after digging him out of the broccoli after 2nd Claw arc.
Rainbow Veins and Life in Technicolor by BinaryDreams1010
As it turns out, Reigen actually IS an esper. He's an empath, and that comes with being able to read and manipulate others emotions. He did not know he was doing that. He just thought he was REALLY good at reading people and convincing them. Serizawa figures it out and tells him. The first story is about Serizawa figuring out Reigen is an empath, the 2nd story is about what Reigen does after knowing he's an empth, that is trying to figure out how to get rid of a spirit on his own.
Use Your Words by CowardlyBean
Reigen gets possessed by a spirit that hates espers. He's stuck in the backseat of his body while it pilots him around, pretending to be him. It's an ass towards Serizawa and Mob. Of course the other characters figure out something is wrong.
Area Hysteria by c_c_cherry
Reigen and Dimple visit a worn down building slated for demolition to get rid of a spirit. The building collapses with them in it. Dimple is fine, Reigen isn't. Dimple posses Reigen's body to help keep him alive and hope for rescue soon. Reigen gets rescued... eventually. But this isn't the end to the problems because Reigen ends up in sort of supernaturally-induced coma that Mob has to get into his head to get him out of. Long story. Marked as unfinished but ends at a really good stopping point. (Update: It started updating again)
Haunting My Own Skin by Kirii_Kitten
Reigen dies and then posses his own corpse to pretend that everything is normal. Dimple is concerned that Reigen's spirit is going to corrupt, his fears are well-founded. Reigen gets found out of course and things go to shit, but there is a happy ending.
symbiosis by ruthwrites
AU in which ???% is a separate entity from Mob and it's made of energy and jumps from esper to esper. When Mob gives Reigen his power during the 1st Claw arc, ???% goes with that energy. Problem is that it didn't go back to Mob, it got stuck in Reigen. I recommend the whole series, the series is kind of depressing though. Reigen really goes through it in this series. I don't want to give too much away but... Reigen isn't gonna come out of this very... human. Each entry in the series is completed, however I can't help but feel the series itself isn't completed, it seems to end on what would be the start of this AUs version of the Separation Arc. It's a bitter ending.
Yesterday by ch_am
Takes place during and after hot springs OVA. Shows Reigen's experience in the parallel dimension. On the train ride home, Reigen has a panic attack and runs off to the bathroom, Serizawa helps him and realizes that Reigen was in that dimension for awhile. Serizawa goes back home with Reigen to make sure that when he wakes up he won't be alone again. They eat breakfast together and talk about what happened.
Reflection by Silver_fox221
Turns out Reigen is a kitsune. He did not know he was a kitsune. He's in denial at first what with these traits only appearing now as a 30-ish year old. But even when he accepts the truth, he can't bring himself to tell the others besides Dimple (who he knows can keep a secret). His kitsune traits include being able to turn into a fox, having a silver orb that's a physical manifestation of his soul that he has to protect, and also a new found fear of dogs. Fic is unfinished but has a very unique idea. I only found a few other stories that had Kitsune!Reigen but in the other ones I saw he already knew he was a fox.
Categories
A lot of fics I like fall within categories, like they play with similar ideas. So I thought I would create lists of fics that cover the same topics. If you like one in a list, you would probably like the others.
Train OVA (Reigen has a bad time)
Teru's Parents Suck, Reigen to the Rescue
Various MP100 Stuff I found on Tumblr (no theme)
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crewtawn · 7 months ago
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Rare-Pair || Fausdet (?)
I know people are more fond of rare-pairs than they used to be. Forgive me for being a bit nervous on this! I've been a fan of Guilty Gear for a little while now, and I just started to hyper fixate. More rambling and extras under the cut...
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I'd like to petition to call this pair "Gender-Affirming Care"!
My boyfriend's favorite character is Faust, and mine is Bridget (I'm ftm) so I really like them together.
Both are trying to be their best selves. Bridget is lost. A young woman (around her 20s, as shes a similar age to May, who is around 23?) in a world that's out to get her. Faust, a mentally unstable man, lost to the opinions of others. I can see them coming together to push the other to open up about themselves and help the other find what they're really looking for in life.
Faust helps Bridget decide one what medical transition things she would or wouldn't want to do.. Bridget would show him what a true companion looks like even after something so horrible had happened.
They heal each other. Faust calls Bridget pretty and that even if she didn't transition medically she's still very pretty. Both of them gush to Elphelt and she gets em hooked up. Hehe..
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yellowhollyhock · 5 months ago
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for and inspired by @majachee
The differences in approach to Raphael in Mirage and 1987 and their influence on archie
(I have not read all of Mirage or Archie, this is my impressions so far)
Mirage Raph: he’s got a big heart. I really think that’s the most succinct all-encompassing way of putting it. His emotions take up a lot of space.
Sometimes literally.
He’s always eager to help. When they meet that survivalist group, he’s the one to suggest Don could disable the bomb. When the time traveler girl/creature shows up, he’s the first to speak up that he’d like to help. And during the big Raph and Leo fight, it’s Raph who’s eager to return to New York. His heart is wide open to anyone in need.
He’s energetic. He loves fighting, it’s the first thing we learn about him. He hates leeches, but still tries to be kind to one in his demutation arc. Also, he loves to be outside! In the very first issue he spells it out; he hates being underground, loves the chance to be out in the city (when he’s delivering the challenge message to Shredder).
Stir crazy. Just a hyper gold-hearted teen whose hobby is roughhousing. Him and Mikey love to roughhouse so much in mirage. Unlike in later iterations, it never (to my knowledge) seems to start as or escalate into a fight, they just both love to do it. They do annoy others with their noise and breaking of furniture, but they both just love spending that time together.
But let’s not let any of that bring our attention away from the violence. He loves violence.
He’s like if the monster in your closet was a teddy bear, who could also kill you. On your side, he’s a big softie. But if you’re not on his side you may as well be a dead ant.
The duality of Raphael, which will influence future iterations of the red turtle for decades to come—but just a couple years down the road:
1987 Raphael
Does not want to help (this is an unfair oversimplification but compared to mirage Raph. He's more like mirage Don in the 'but do we have to though? have you considered we could die? okay just checking')
Does not like violence. Sure he can fight, he even can be a bit of a daredevil under the exact right circumstances, but mostly he prefers to hang back as much as possible.
He likes costumes and jokes. He does not seem particularly fond of animals. He loves being dramatic but like in a lowkey way.
He’s just tagging along with his bros making sarcastic remarks asdflkjkj (this is like literally the inverse of mirage Raph who likes solo missions; he’s on missions because he doesn’t want to be solo)
Also, as opposed to mirage Raph who’s got a very strong sense of who he is and leans into it, 87 Raphael is insecure about not having a ‘thing’ he contributes to the team. That’s why he takes up disguises.
It’s like this. Mirage Raph is your uncle who’s had too much to drink before the party even starts, who doesn’t realize how loud he’s talking or how aggressive he’s coming across as he tells about his adventures either last week or throughout his childhood. Other relatives keep trying to hint to him that the things he shares aren’t appropriate in front of little kids, but he’s just like ‘oh you’re right there’s kiddos, come on gather round you guys will like this one’ and then tells a worse story. He’s also the only relative the skittish shelter dog your grandma just brought home will trust. He’s brought you a blanket with your favorite video game character on it, mindful of your texture sensitivity. It’s not your birthday, it’s just cause.
87 Raphael is your closeted gay cousin who’s got such an intense fixation on Bugs Bunny your aunt’s getting worried. As far as the adults are concerned he doesn’t seem to cause too much trouble but he’s always around when you’re doing something you shouldn’t, rarely tattles but always threatens to and uses this to get you to buy him things, or do his chores, or save him the good seat at the table or cheat for him at game night or whatever. He knows all the family secrets and has something scathing to say about everything ever, whether how lame a family activity is or why on earth your dad bought a truck that color or what were they thinking making the post office out of brick. He’s gonna be in a play this fall, he’s trying not to tell anyone but your aunt really insists you come see him.
All of this to say, here’s why archie is the way he is
And by the way he is… hm. How does one begin to explain archie Raph
He’s very often the turtle taking initiative. That comes from Mirage. He sees an opening and goes for it. He really does seem to enjoy fighting, and is happy to go off on a solo mission if it seems exciting or is gonna get the threat taken care of faster. But he does also sort of roll his eyes? Like ugh we’re gonna go out and fight again. Ugh stupid bad guys now I have to beat them up when I could be home eating pizza. What do you mean what did we learn ugh Splinter ugh.
He’s just. Idk he’s so broody. I think I’m mostly basing this on his expressions? Maybe what I’ve heard from the future arc that I haven’t read yet? I can’t pin down why he seems broody to me but I can’t think of a better word for him.
He’s got the love of violence and the deadpan sense of humor. The ‘let me just get this done solo’ and the ‘please do not separate me from my brothers.’ The impulsive trembling with excitement looking for a chance to strike fighter in him from his mirage counterpart, and the obsession with clothes from his 1987 counterpart.
Seriously, even though it kind of annoys me for reasons I can’t begin to explain, one of my favorite things about this Raph is his freaking costumes. The archie writers really looked at warm-hot-dangerous-sweetheart mirage Raph and complainer-comedian-Some Guy-queer coded 87 Raphael and said ‘you know what these two have in common? Black clothes. Maybe a hooded cloak.’
And yeah that tracks, right? If rambunctious uncle and gay cousin are somehow gonna be the same guy, he is the ultimate Emo. Emo Aunt.
(accidentally created a little family of Raphael allegories kjhskjdf)
so basically
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13a07s · 3 months ago
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Spoiled #1
(Shoyo Hinata)
[Artwork is not mine! Credit to oretsuu]
Requested by: Idfk... Jack Frost, maybe?
Word Count: 4,096
Warnings and/or Pre-Notes:
Name Calling: Baby Doll, Brat
Rich Girl/Poor Boy Trope
Part Two to Come
I feel like I wrote Hinata so out of character but idk if I actually did or if it's just self-doubt so beware
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My brother's voice wraps around the gym, easily leaking out the creaked doors I'm heading towards to paint the hallway in his words as well. "In moments of temptation, you should consider not what you may be offered, but instead what you may lose," Wakatoshi babbles, making me shake my head.
He has a habit of talking in some old-fashioned curtsey way, his words usually coming out in tongues when he's talking about something he's passionate about. Most of the time it means he's talking about volleyball, or occasionally, Tendo.
"The man that gives into temptation will lose his focus, his obedience, and because of that, shall lose the trust his team places on him. Perhaps he may not lose that trust, but that is worse than the former." Wakatoshi's arms are in front of him, sitting in the air like a preacher giving a sermon.
Three boys from the team visiting our school for a practice match are standing in front of him. The mean mugged, buzzed-cut boy looks like he's in Lala land, staring off to Wakatoshi's side, watching Tendo wrap his fingers. The boy with spiked hair and a blonde streak looks amazed at my brother, barely holding back his laughter. The last boy, with flames for hair, is looking up, listening but very confused about the lecture he's getting.
I slowly slide into the gym, making sure to be quiet as I slip in and start walking across the room. Wakatoshi's voice becomes background noise as I hyper-focus on being silent. Despite my chance at anonymity, Tendo spots me, one of his eyebrows shooting up as a smile crawls onto his face. I throw a finger against my lips, silently shushing him, a command he obeys.
Blonde Streak catches wind of me too, poking his head around Wakatoshi to see what has the Guess Monster grinning. When he catches sight of me, his eyes start to flicker around, making a sharp triangle as they jerk between me, my brother, and my brother's best friend.
When I'm two or three feet away, I settle into the spot I'm holding, bending my knees to prepare for a swift takedown. My body buzzes in anticipation, excited for this to finally be the time I manage to scare Wakatoshi. "I got you!" I shriek, lunging forward. I wrap my arms around his waist, slamming my whole body weight into his back.
He inches forward, taking a small step to balance himself. Attempt two hundred and fifty-three: Failure. Mission 'Scare Wakatoshi': Slowly growing into a dying cause.
"Hello, Baby Doll," Wakatoshi greets, his voice still even but lacking the lecturing tone he was using a few moments again. His hand latches onto my wrist, yanking on me until I'm standing in front of him instead of clinging to his back. "Did you harm yourself?" I'm asked as he pats me down, searching for any possible injuries.
"No, I'm fine."
Wakatoshi's hands settle under my arms, taking an iron grip on me before I'm lifted off the floor and dangled in the air. He holds me high enough that we're at eye level with each other. "It is dangerous for you to keep doing things such as that. Imagine if I had not known it was you. You could have been hurt. Or worse, I could have made you cry. Do not do such a thing again, alright?"
     "I'm going to do it again," I answer honestly, getting a long, disapproving sigh from my brother.
     He carefully sets me back on my feet before fixating on my uniform. Wakatoshi straightens my bow tie, toying with the loops of it before his next victim becomes my skirt. He gently smoothes it out, picking off a few stray things of lint left over from cleaning the classrooms. When he's satisfied, he focuses on my jacket, fuzzing with the buttons and making sure the lines of it are crisp. "Your shirt is wrinkled," he points out, now obsessing with my dress shirt. "And half untucked. Come here let me tuck it in for you."
     "No," I mutter, pulling away from him, and shifting closer to his friend. "Classes are done for the week so it doesn't have to be picture perfect anymore," I point out, shrugging off my jacket and hanging it on Tendo's arm that's waiting, bent and hanging to take it from me.
     "You look ridiculous in an untidy uniform. Let me fix it," Wakatoshi grumbles, crossing his arms over his chest. His eyebrows push together as I loosen my bow tie, letting it hang further down my neck. "Wearing your uniform in such a way makes you look mindless."
     "Oh well," I murmur, shaking my hair loose from the updo it's been in all day. "Hey, 'Toshi?" I whisper, spraying a sheepish smile on my face and tipping my head to the side.
     "No," he answers before I can even get the question out. His posture tights up too, like it'll help him stay headstrong about denying whatever I'm going to ask.
     "Some of the girls are thinking about going out this weekend," I tell him anyway, softening my eyes so they'll blow out and become rounder. I blink them slower too, making sure my lashes look more dramatic. "I was wondering if I could go with, please?"
     "I have a practice game on Sunday and a meeting with a scout tomorrow. I cannot escort you. No."
     My smile melts off my face, a pout quickly replacing it. For extra effect, I will some crocodile tears, just enough to make my eyes glossy. "Pretty please? I don't even need an escort. Even if you are set on me having one, I'm sure Tendo wouldn't mind escorting me on Saturday, right, Chibi-Chan?" I ask, turning my fit toward him.
     Tendo's eyes are glued to the floor, suddenly super aware of his sneakers. Out of the two older boys, he cracks the easiest, hence the lack of attention on me. "Ushijima said no, the answer is no," he whispers, sparing a glance at me before he jerks his head up, turning to watch the first years struggling to put up the net.
     I blink a few times, egging the fake tears to spill down my cheeks. My half-assed crying pulls a sigh from Wakatoshi, his hand burying itself in his jacket pocket. He tugs out his wallet, snapping it open and pulling out the stack of cash he has. "Here's eighty thousand yen," he mutters, tucking the smaller stash of cash away. "Tendo will be going with you and you will be back by nine, am I understand? I'm not talking to the Principal to get you out of trouble again because you ignored curfew."
     "We'll be home by nine." Wakatoshi looks down at me for another beat before rolling the wad of money my way. I happily take it, digging through the pocket of my jacket to add the bundle to the cash in it.
     Papa sends each of us twenty thousand yen every week as an allowance to get what we need for school and food and such, but he says we can use what's left over to do whatever. Dad wires money from the States every month too, usually about seventy-five hundred yen. Wakatoshi tends to have more cash than I do, partly because he's smarter with his money but also because of all those articles and such he does because of volleyball.
     What's the point of being stingy with my money if I know I'm inheriting Papa's fortune? When Papa finally steps down, Wakatoshi's volleyball career will be out of its prime and he'll take over the business. My brother gets the company and the means to make his own fortune, so Papa is giving me his fortune, swearing he won't step down until he's certain he's made enough that I'll never have to lift a finger in my life.
     "Spoiled Brat," Tendo mutters, slinging my jacket over his shoulder when I'm done stashing my money away. His hand settles on top of my head, gently squeezing it as he shakes me around. "I'll see you Saturday. Now, run along and go do something other than be cramped up in this musky gym."
     "Alright," I giggle, jumping up on my tippy toes to plop a kiss on his cheek. I make sure to take my jacket from him before turning away, switching my attention to Wakatoshi. His hand settles on the small of my back, pushing me towards the gym doors with the plan to walk me out. I swear it's criminal how easy I can play him.
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I have no clue why I'm getting lectured. I know why Tanaka and Noya are getting lectured; because they were hitting on Shiratorizawa's manager, but I wasn't. I just happened to be standing next to them. Maybe this is the whole 'guilty by association' thing Daichi was telling me about.
"In moments of temptation, you should consider not what you may be offered, but instead what you may lose," Ushijima continues to lecture, making no sense. What does temptation have to do with a pretty girl? "The man that gives into temptation will lose his focus, his obedience, and because of that, shall lose the trust his team places on him. Perhaps he may not lose that trust, but that is worse than the former."
That makes some sense, but somehow even less sense. Girls are distracting, especially really pretty ones, but his manager wasn't going to distract me from our practice game. Is he lecturing us about girlfriends? That's what this is about, right? Where's Tsuki when I need him? He'd tell me why I was being yelled at.
     I glance to the side, trying to figure out how my teammates feel about the lecture. Tanaka is distracted, looking over the Monster blocker's shoulder to continue ogling over the manager. Noya looks like he's going to laugh, his eyes constantly moving back and forth. What's funny about getting yelled at? We're visitors. We should be trying our best to be respectful.
     With them being no help, I decided to look back up at Ushijima, trying to piece together what he was trying to say. I'm pretty sure he's saying trying to get a girlfriend will distract us from volleyball... I think.
     "I got you!" A soft voice cuts through Ushijima's, ending our lecture.
     The ace stumbles forward, his hand falling down to press against the hands resting on his stomach. They look small, the hands under Ushijima's, and carefully cared for, reminding me of porcelain. The intruder's skin is smooth like they've never been tarnished or exposed to the harmful lick of sunlight.
The person's nails are as carefully cared for as their skin. Long and carefully manicured, perfectly sporting the plaid purple of Shiratorizawa. Three rings decorate their fingers. The two on the right are simple silver circles of metal encasing their pointer and ring fingers. The one on the left, circling their middle finger, isn't as simple. It's shaped with inspiration from vines, wrapped around their delicate skin and the gems alike. Eight purple rocks are stamped into the jewelry, reminding me of roses among thorns.
     It feels too expansive to even breathe with so much beauty and money wafting off such a small section of the intruder. I'm not dumb... I'm not that dumb. I know Shiratorizawa is a school packed with rich kids. I know Ushijima and the rest of the team were going against mainly come from families with money, but I've never really seen it aside from the school grounds.
"Hello, Baby Doll," Ushijima murmurs, his tone notability softer. His shoulders relax like a weight was taken off with the presence of the person holding onto him.
     I glance at my teammates, trying to see how they're taking the sudden lack of tension that he always carries himself in. Tanaka is still busy looking over the manager, but Noya's focus is on the same thing mine is. His eyes shine and his head is titled in the usual way it is when he spots a girl that sparks his interest. I'll safely assume the intruder is a she then.
Ushijima's movements are careful like he's suddenly aware of his size. My assumptions were right, it is a girl. A girl the ace is carefully clinging to as he guides her around himself. "Did you harm yourself?" The words come out so soft I'm convinced I made them up. The squishing of my competitor's eyebrows - the only hint of emotion he's ever shown to me - telling me otherwise. Well, aside from careful hands patting the girl down, in search of injuries along her ribs.
The rest of her breezes expensive just as much as her hands do. Her hair is up, twisted, and curled in a way that would make YouTube Hair Tutorial artists envious, held in place by a hair clip. A hair clip fashioned in the shape of four small white flowers enveloped by pastel greens. It glints under the gym lights, almost like it's made out of glass. Maybe it is made out of glass. Either way, I'm sure the accessory alone costs more than my volleyball shoes.
     Splashes of purple, blue, and white are wrapped around her, looking like the least expensive thing but still somehow seeming worth more than a simple school uniform. Her floral scent seems to fill the whole gym and has settled on my chest, my lungs almost feeling flower pedals rubbing against them with every breath.
     "No, I'm fine," she answers, her voice sounding like the bells of heaven. I get why Ushijima called her baby doll. She looks like one, everything so perfect, even her imperfect dress shirt spilling out over her skirt. It's all just too... too... too meant to be. Like the universe adjusts just for her.
     The personally caused reminder of Ushijima calling her baby doll weighs on my chest, quickly burning up her floral scent and leaving behind ash to fill my senses. When his hands slide up and cup under her arms, the fire is quickly frosted over by ice. She looks even more perfect elevated in the air, raised so the taller boy can look straight into her eyes. Like this, she looks like an angel, her wings simply hidden underneath the material of her jacket.
     "It is dangerous for you to keep doing things such as that. Imagine if I had not known it was you. You could have been hurt. Or worse, I could have made you cry. Do not do such a thing again, alright?"
     The icy grip of jealousy is quickly melted away with the flames of anger again. How dare Ushijima lecture such a perfect being? Especially over something as simple as grabbing at him. Doesn't he see how her touch is made of gold? How lucky he is to have someone so beautiful, so perfect, so luxurious willingly touch him? How could he possibly think of her crying? I bet she still looks like perfect porcelain when she cries. I bet her tears are made from diamonds.
     My anger is smothered and some of my jealousy dies down when Ushijima places the girl back on her feet. My eyes fall, taking a glance at her shoes. They're the new black and gold Jordans that dropped last month. They're spotless and crisp still like she just took them out of the box this morning. Considering the energy wrapped around her, that scenario is hard to believe. I'm sure she had them preordered and delivered before their official drop.
     Ushijima starts fussing over the girl's uniform, tugging on the purple bow tie wrapped around her neck, making her look like a present. I wonder what it would be like, unwrapping her like a present.
     My sense quickly comes crashing down, embarrassment for my silent thoughts caressing my neck. I bet that's what Ushijima was talking about when he was rattling on about temptation. I was tempted by this shiny rich girl and instantly through my morals to the wind. That's not any way to think of a lady, much less a lady I know nothing about.
     "Your shirt is wrinkled," Ushijima grumbles, rambling up another lecture and successfully grounding me back to Earth. Still, embarrassment, a bit of guilt, and a cup of disgust with myself eat at my stomach. "And half untucked. Come here, let me tuck it in for you."
      A bit of annoyance flickers across her face as she pulls away from Ushijima, leaning more toward the middle blocker who seems terribly aware of her. "No," she hums, her arms and shoulders flexing in tune with her sliding off her jacket. "Classes are done for the week so it doesn't have to be picture-perfect anymore." Tendo jumps at the chance to play coat hanger, letting the girl hang her jacket on his arm.
     The longer the two of them peer down at her, Ushijima's face softer than normal and Tendo grinning from ear to ear, the harder I picture their downfall on the volleyball court. Why do they get to enjoy her beauty? Her sing-song voice? The soft way she flows like a river sliding down a mountain? Because they go to an expensive school? Because they're 'better' players? No, they're not, and I'm going to prove it.
"You look ridiculous in an untidy uniform. Let me fix it." The girl rebels, loosening the bow around her neck and letting it hang loose, which only seems to irritate Ushijima more. "Wearing your uniform in such a way makes you look mindless."
Her hands bury into her hair, pulling pins from seemingly nowhere before unclipping the clasp from her hair, all of which Tendo happily takes from her and stuffs away in his jacket. She doesn't even seem to notice the blocker's silent and blind obedience.
"Oh well," the girl finally responds, shaking her hair before letting it waterfall down her back. I wonder what it would feel like, running my fingers through her shiny locks. I bet it's soft. It looks soft, like her hands. I wonder if it has the same floral scent as -
"Hey, 'Toshi?"
- who the hell is 'Toshi' and why did she say his name like that?
"No," Ushijima grumbles, answering one of my questions. Jealousy bubbles in my chest again, fueled by the stone stare he looks down at her with and the doe eye, soft smile combo she returns to him. At the moment they remind me of a rock and a feather, complete opposites but somehow being a pair. It's not fair.
"Some of the girls are thinking about going out this weekend. I was wondering if I could go with, please?" She asks, tone hesitant like she expects a harder no in return.
"I have a practice game on Sunday and a meeting with a scout tomorrow. I cannot escort you. No," He repeats, hardening his eyes as he peers down at her. She doesn't need an escort. Look at her, she's a young adult more the capable of going out with her friends by herself. If she needs an escort that bad, I'll very happily escort her. Just hand her over already Ushijima.
"Pretty please? I don't even need an escort. Even if you are set on me having one, I'm sure Tendo wouldn't mind escorting me on Saturday, right, Chibi-Chan?" she rambles, tears in her eyes, shimmering like diamonds just like I guessed. She looks as beautiful upset as she does happy.
Tendo's face tightens as he looks between his two classmates, uncertainty and reluctance mixing in his expression before he decides to look at the ground. "Ushijima said no, the answer is no," he whispers, choosing to side with his captain.
Anger flickers across her face, quickly chased away by tears spilling over to coat her cheeks. She's fake crying, completely faking it. A bit of a snicker settles on my face as I watch the two of them slowly fall apart at the tantrum she's throwing. They don't believe this is real, no way... right?
Ushijima caves, a lot quicker than I thought imaginable. Within seconds of the center of his attention shedding her alligator tears, his wallet is out and enough cash to cover mom's mortgage, and then some is being counted out. "Here's eighty thousand yen. Tendo will be going with you and you will be back by nine, am I understand? I'm not talking to the Principal to get you out of trouble again because you ignored curfew."
Instantly, the water workers are put away. The girl snatches the money, her teeth shining in a smile and eyes sparkling as she looks up at her school's ace. "We'll be home by nine," she agrees, stuffing the money into her wallet like it's normal Friday and not like she was just handed enough money to cover my grocery bill for the next two months like it was chum change.
"Hey," Noya whispers, shoving his elbow into my side. "Your jaw is on the floor. You might want to pick it up," he teases, softly laughing at my shock.
"That...That's... that's half my mom's mortgage."
Noya shakes his head, his eyes glued to the angel of money, apparently, as she gets dotted on by Tendo. "Well, when you're the granddaughter of the CEO of Ushijima Incorporated, I'm sure you get used to being handed a paycheck worth of money simply for batting your eyelashes."
"Ushijima Incorporated?" I ask, trying to bite down the jealousy forming as I watch Tendo play with her hair. Anger muddies my jealousy when he calls her a 'spoiled brat'.
     "The king company of the volleyball world?" Tanka butts in, looking at me like I'm stupid. "They make literally everything we use. The volleyballs, our jerseys, the nets, they own like fifty percent of the volleyball shoe companies. They sponsor almost every Japan official team. Ringing any bells?"
     "No," I whisper, turning my attention back to Miss Queen of Volleyball. "Wait..." I slowly say, watching her kiss Tendo's cheek. "She's a Ushijima?"
     "Ya," they both say slowly, their amusement only growing with the more lack of knowledge I show.
     "So..."
So, Ushijima isn't into her or with her or anything. They're just siblings. That also explains her brother's tenseness about volleyball. No wonder he tries so hard to be the best.
"Do you feel stupid yet?" Tanka asks, looking at me rather wickedly.
"Why would I feel stupid?"
     "Because you've been drooling since she's shown up."
     "I have not," I mutter, my eyes trailing after the Volleyball Queen, watching as her brother walks her to the door. His hand on her back still tickles my jealousy, just not as bad as before. "I just think she's... interesting."
     "And way out of your tax bracket, bud," Tendo cuts in, chuckling when my embarrassment coats my cheeks. I totally forgot he was here. "Trust me, it's impossible to keep up with the bankroll her dear 'Papa' offers her."
     "You must be doing something right. She seems pretty attached to you," I point out, sending out a feel for what exactly Tendo's relationship is with her.
     My statement must not have been as subtle as a thought. The corners of his mouth turn up, drenching my spine with ice water. "Money doesn't speak to Papa Ushi'. He couldn't care less if you had a hundred thousand yen or one yen in your bank account. Make the Apple of his eye cry and he'll bury you alive and then piss on your grave. Make her laugh and he'll pay your tuition." From the look in Tendo's eyes, I'm guessing he's speaking from experience.
"That's all I have to do? Make her laugh?"
Tendo cackles, the sound scrapping against the gym walls. "No, kid. Grandma Cunt-tress and Mommy Dearest aren't so easy to win over. Lucky for you, the Spoiled Brat doesn't care about their opinions. She does care about Ushi's though. If he doesn't like you, you might as well be dead when the Brat is concerned."
     "How do I get Ushijima to like me?"
     "Be good at volleyball. Step one of that is stop receiving with your face," Tendo mocks me, his hand waving in front of his face as he walks away from me.
     Alright, I can handle this. Step one, make her laugh. Step two, make her brother like me. Step two, point a, don't take any receives to my face during our practice match. Easy peasy... hopefully.
———————————————————————
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xerxeswitch · 1 year ago
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Red Flags in Spirit Work
Pay in mind, these are my experiences on what I've seen and what I had experienced myself. Take everything with a grain of salt.
.... Spirit work is regaining a lot of popularity and I feel it's important to help others understand that discernment, and common sense are extremely important. Please, please practice discernment and take as much time to vet spirits and entities. Unfortunately, I have seen people who either didn't have spirit friends that they mentioned, or they were bamboozled. --- Here the top signs that it's probably not real, or you're being played: 1. They magically show up when you just read about them or watched things about them. (Hyper-fixation isn't always a sign, at least that's what I believe) 2. All of your "spirit companions" just want to jump your bones and they all look conveniently attractive to you. 3. They all have the same interests and morals as you. What's important to you may not be important to them. 4. All companions have the same personality. 5. They're all special versions of the species they came from. 6. They act and look like animated/fictional characters and protagonists. 7. They cater to every single emotion you have and justify your actions -- that's actually a sign it's a toxic spirit/entity if they're real.
8. Promoting that YOU are the main character.
9. Upon knowing them with barely any time in vetting, they say exactly what you want them to say to you -- which means they're probably not real or you're just self narrating over them. 10. If the quality of your life suddenly goes down without much explanation with endless bad luck or decrease in health condition, that's a serious problem for you may have a parasitic entity/spirit. 11. You bought a Perfect Sexy Vampire Lord named Voltor on Ebay or Etsy for $20.99 plus tax. --- Now, if we're talking thoughtforms, that's another story...but even with that thrown in, these concerns are still relevant.
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rottenpumpkin13 · 1 year ago
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Your body dysmorphia post has me Thinking.
Sephiroth and Genesis bodies are ultimately, very much for show.
Sephiroth is built for precision and agility, his blade and skillset meant for quick efficient culling of large groups of enemies or getting to weak spots on monsters. Like a scalpel. His muscles are mostly for his image, rather then from actual training. The mako makes sure he doesn't need as much physical mass for strength.
Genesis is similar. He's naturally slender, and his image is VERY much appearance focused. I mean hes a magic caster above all, so he's built for speed and dodging.
But Angeal? Angeal is all brute fucking force. That man is STRONG and built for it. You see wrestlers and professional strongman with his build, people meant to hit hard and move weight around. He's like an ox. He puts weight on differently then the other two, and he's a foodie! (Also there's probably something with growing up in relative poverty and then not being there anymore.)
And it is honestly inevitable that they're going to be compared. Their the three Firsts, they're seen together a LOT in pr events and such. And its even more inevitable Angeal is going to compare himself as well.
Angeal's phisyque is impressive and I don't doubt Genesis envies him for it sometimes. He's strong and puts on muscle easily, which I imagine is extremely valued in SOLDIER. I agree, the comparisons are inevitable and I could see it affecting all three of them (even Sephiroth, who could favor Gen and Angeal's more "human" looks over his own).
I beg you to forgive my mini rant under the cut. I fell down a rabbit hole, got keyboard-happy, and want to share my thoughts with you lol.
Assuming the east-Asian male beauty standards are the same in the FF7 world, Angeal is essentially friends with two of the most⏤if not the most⏤attractive men on the planet. He would have grown up seeing Sephiroth and Genesis receive praise and admiration for their looks and constantly being compared to them.
I���m not sure what influenced Angeal’s character design exactly, though we can say that Sephiroth and Genesis’ designs are in contrast to the Western ideals, Genesis more so because he was based off of Gackt (specifically Gackt in the 2000s), which means his design adheres to the east-asian male beauty standard. The two are so contrasting because the east-Asian male standards promote more androgynous and softer looks as opposed to the West’s fixation on hyper-masculinity.
I would say Sephiroth is a mix of both. While his design is inspired by Japanese historical figures and features that give him that “bishonen” appeal, his overall design is pretty masculine. He’s tall and muscular. His body, overall fits into the West’s standards while his face is ethereal enough for us to fit it into the east-Asian standards. Aspects that the West would consider effeminate such as the long hair actually used to indicate a warrior’s class. Funnily enough, long hair as a symbol of masculinity used to be a thing across many cultures, not just in Japan.
The thing about Angeal is, he is attractive. He fits the Western male beauty standard down to a T with traits such as being tall, having a muscular build, square jaw, and facial hair. But if indeed the FF7 world’s equivalent of male beauty is the same as Japan’s… Well, maybe getting compared to Sephiroth and Genesis gets to him.
Don’t get it wrong, the comments about his appearance are usually positive, but they’re always about how “strong and ripped and big” he is. Not to mention he constantly gets told how much older he looks than Sephiroth and Genesis despite being the same age as them.
He doesn’t feel attractive, he feels useful. He sees his body as a tool to get his job done. He has the body of a warrior, a Soldier. It’s built for fighting. The problem is, he’s constantly compared to his friends—the same friends who get compared to angels. They stand out, they’re pleasing to look at. He may be at an advantage with his brute force and ideal masculine physique, but—and I cannot stress this enough—men are not immune to body image issues and eating disorders.
I’ll admit that this headcanon partially stemmed from comments I’ve seen about Angeal’s appearance within the fandom. Some people think he’s ugly, which is fine, no one is forced to find anyone attractive. But I imagine the hurtful comments and the constant comparisons to his “more attractive” friends could hurt Angeal if he were to see them in his day to day life. He may be an enhanced super-soldier, but he's still human.
Again, please forgive the word vomit. I just have so many thoughts on this lol
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