#there isnt supposed to be a fixed thing here

[buddleu]

[wikoymi]

postgame komahina househouse with pet cat named aki (after chiaki) and she really likes nagito. and hajime i guess but if nagitos home she’ll only sit on hajime if nagito is sitting on hajime

[itsalwaysdark]

i was gonna make a post abt how i dont rly like like. Genre changing covers of songs and then realized upon introspection is that i sort of just dont like rock covers of songs generally

[teethpaste]

It’s so weird how the body will try and protect you like. I am incapable of feeling grief right now. I know it will hit me like a fucking Mac truck in about a month

When I was here in Ireland in July thinking my grandma had days to live, because the doctors told us so, and urged everyone stateside to drop what they were doing and come to Ireland for goodbyes, I was torn up. I was the first one here because I was already in Dublin on business and luckily my job just let me work from Ireland for about 2 months. So that happened. But then she got palliative chemo, and somehow here she is, 5 months later, against the odds in stage 4 lung cancer. I can tell she is so tired. I feel like she was holding on for this holiday and that as soon as I leave Ireland come December 29, it’s going to happen quickly. Which I hate to even write into existence, but sometimes, you just feel it.

And I hope it doesn’t. But I also don’t want her to be in pain. Chemo ravages the body. Her last treatment was over a month ago but the cancer has spread through her whole body and it is wearing her down. She went from still bartending at 77 and going out with her friends weekly + walking the 2 mile trek into town everyday, to finding out she a tumor overtaking her right lung (completely collapsed at this point) from years of smoking. I was sitting with her at the table the other night before I went to the pub, painting her nails, and she asked “can we talk about something morbid”

Things hardly feel morbid these days. So I tell her yes, of course. I feel like I have this desensitized view around death now. Or I’m numb to it. Like my body remembers watching my dad die and is like HEY ITS FINE, don’t be sad in the moment. Because you can’t be. You have things to do. Then you can cave in on yourself.

Anyways, when I told her sure we can, she then got embarasssd and I had to beg a little for her to tell me . She then says “right. Because I know you’ll have the energy to handle”. She just tells me how she wants to be presented for her wake. No makeup, but make sure her eyebrows are done. Hair with a bandana. Jean shirt. Nails painted. Cowboy boots on that she never got to wear in Vegas this year. She starts telling me about where jewelry is and what she wants in a service. I listen and file it away.

I still think I’m stuck on “because you’ll have the energy to handle”. I think about when my dad died, my mom and sister were inconsolable. About how it happened so quickly and we as humans make it very complicated. Do you know how hard it is to transfer a body across state lines? The hospital doesn’t tell you what to do. I had to google so many funeral homes that morning. I think about those people too. The sanitized nature of conversations. The first place I called didnt say any niceties. They immediately went to prices so I hung up. Second place was more of the same and the third place asked me how I was doing and if I wanted to share anything about him. So I went with them. My dad didn’t leave a will so I had to pull the trigger on weather to cremate or bury. I went with the former and was sick for months thinking I made the wrong choice but one day a few months ago my mom found a random letter he wrote, tossed behind his living room chair, where he noted cremation was a better option bc of the $ and finally that guilt left me.

Did you know that when you list you’re an organ donor on your license, they have to call the family? And when they call, there is light elevator music playing in the background, and mere hours after your person dies, a woman with a nasally voice will calmly ask, “May we take his skin and eyes?” I felt like I was in a cronenberg movie. I remember being so shocked at the matter of factness of the question. Being disturbed but thankful neither my mom or sister were doing this part. I remember saying “why would you want that, do you know how he died? How are those parts even usable” and she paused . And “hmm’d” and as she began to speak I said “no we won’t be donating”.

Anyways. I’m trying to be present while I’m here in Ireland for the holidays. I want to cry but I can’t. This is the last time Christmas will feel like Christmas. I’ve never much liked the holiday. But after my dad died I’ve hated thanksgiving and Christmas even more. Being with my grandma here in Ireland makes it feel like that “magic” is still there a little. But I know it will be completely gone by this time next year and I hate that.

I also worry bout my mom and how she’s taking it. She lost her dad in 2023, her husband in 2024 and now her mom’s dying. That’s how it goes I guess. I stayed in tonight but she went out to the pubs with her friends and came home absolutely trashed. She made it up the stairs before I heard her start violently vomiting. It’s always strange when you switch places with your folks. I took off her clothes and got her changed into Pjs. Brought her water and crackers. She laid with her head in my lap as I stared at the wall. Being around this kind of stuff always makes me wonder if I’ll regret not having kids. Like the fact that when I’m her age, and my grandmas age, I’ll effectively be alone. Like yes there are friends etc but I won’t have children or grand children. Just makes me feel weird.

Anyways now it’s 6 in the morning and I’m going on a run in the 22 degree morning air. Bye bye.

[eyepatchdate]

also basically all of those screenshots are tavon being mean b/c i think its way funnier when he's mean. i dont screenshot when he says nice things

[geroya]

look. my neurologist was like. heath if u are having trouble sleeping get up & do something relaxing low stress but i forgot to ask her what i do if i never Fall Asleep um. so here we are.

[headofhelios]

when i was a kid the idea of like surprise birthday parties was so like. idk i wanted it and it never happened but now its actually like. gonna happen to me but at a really really bad time when i am going to be very stressed and whatever the surprise thing is will probably make it worse so its like. hmm. early birthday gift of being nauseous with anxiety a month in advance

[samara444]

everything i learnt during my break (ie all you need to know about manifesting)

hi guys, i took a months long break from tumblr. i used to be depressed, suicidal, constantly looking for results, having only failures, whining, being affected by the 3d every turn, crying almost everyday, to now not being affected by the 3d at ALLL, knowing my true power, and having it all easily conform in the 3d, i dont have anxiety/depression anymore and i feel so blessed, now i literally cry happy tears.

i used to be someone who used to spend my whole day on here, morning to night, looking for answers and the final "key" to manifesting/shifting, taking a break was much needed. here are the things i finally learned after so long.

dont be double minded // i would like to start by saying, see its a choice. we have 2 very distinct sides in this world, one full of lack, negativity, failures, sadness, losing, wishing, wanting....and the other of fulfillment, belief, positivity, determination, persisting, having, being, awareness etc. and whatever we choose, stick by it. i see so many people complaining and trying to say manif/shifting isnt real, and yes thats true FOR YOU in your reality. whatever you have choosen, a life of suffering or one of happiness through the law, please stick to it. if you want to say the law doesnt work, great, but if you have even a slight hope that its true and real, then give it a shot, and dont doubt, and with faith watch how it changes your life.

no circumstance can stop you // be it time, or the past, or trauma, every condition and circumstance only exist because we identify with it. the difference between a broke guy working a 9 to 5 that they hate, no purpose in life, debt and all relationships failing and a multimillionare, who doesnt have to work a single day in their life, life full of luxury and happiness, people who love them etc who probably doesnt even deserve their money but still gets to enjoy it, is simply their beliefs. believe better for yourself.

thinking from your desire and not of it // wishing and wanting and creating up fake scenarios is very different from knowing you HAVE your desire rn. the former is daydreaming, the latter is creation. you can waste years of your life thinking you're manifesting but its just us THINKING OFFF our desire. the results only show up when we HAVE right now. not to get, not to change the 3d but haveeee right now.

imagination is the only reality // we live in a multiverse, idc if people believe in that or not because its true for me, and every possible circumstance is possible and already created. already done. all our job is to HAVE it, and to CHOOSE to live in the state of having. and being fulfilled in our imagination instead of looking for in the 3d. if we look now we'll forever be looking, but when we close our eyes and know its done because our minds is the true consciousness, thats when it actually shows up.

stop manifesting with the intent of changing the 3d // physically trying to change the 3d is so hard, its so tiresome, its futile and useless, but being fulfilled and in the present moment, not worrying about the past or the future. just focusing on staying in the state of the wish fulfilled with our eyes closed is the key, dont worry about what you see with your eyes open. the 4d is the creator, the 3d will AUTOMATICALLY follow.

stop overconsuming/more techniques and enjoy life // you know already what you have to do. most of us know that living in the end means being the person who already has it. so does your dream ideal self do a million techniques trying to get? does you ideal self spend their whole day scrolling on tumblr looking for another technique? another magic affirmation? subliminal? post? that will fix it all? no. they enjoy their lives knowing its done. their wish is in the greatest hands and its all done. so really, stoppp STOP with the overconsumption, trust that you know everything that you are supposed to. everything is within you. stop searching for it outside.

i yap a lot. i love to write so dont blame me, but i wont make this post too long, my dms are always open for help/ or to make friends. ily guys, i feel so happy now being on tumblr, i used to read others success stories and now i have my own hehe so yes slay. bye

-love, sam <3

[evilminji]

You know... >.>

My Dad always used to tell me, if I get a Genuine Genie(tm)? Get a lawyer first. Before I make my Wishes(tm), so they can help me word them correctly.

Obviously, a human lawyer would not be foolproof... BUT! What about a Ghost Lawyer?

Like? Obviously Desiree would be PISSED. How DARE you twist HER wish twisting! Her THING is "what you believe is your heart's desire always comes at a terrible cost" which is what she DIED to learn.

So obviously she would NEVER, willingly, bend her Obsession for ANYONE. And you'd have to make a DAMN good case to that Lawyer for why he ISNT breaking the law by helping you. Probably some "you can: save the life of an unconscious person against their will/shove an unobservant person OFF the train tracks, even if they get hurt, to save their life" clause.

Like? Using a ghosts Obsession against them? Bad. Illegal.

Using it against their will, to save OTHER ghosts, who are in immediate danger? Not illegal, but they will be PISSED. Still not great though, you will want to apologize and fast.

So like??? Reality Bending Power. Patrick Star Method of "what if we MOVED the city... somewhere else?" Considered at 1am. Team of Ghost Laywers, acquired.

Amity and all Limnals are REMOVED from the DP-verse.

Wish worded juuuuust so. Any ghost that forms there? Yoink! Instantly removed to the Zone. Natural Portals? Cut off. Let the whole Reality fade out at an accelerated rate, as no NEW energy is fed into the system. Entropy will do, what entropy does. Exactly as they wished it.

They hated Death so much, they speed up the heat death of their ENTIRE universe by Eons. Congratulations, you guys "Won". Enjoy the wildly more fragile flora, fauna, and general ecosystems. Now that none of you have that ambient Ectoplasm strengthening your bodies. Yeah, the things you used to shrug off? Those are gonna maim or kill you now.

Doesn't MATTER if you "learn your lesson" though! Cause this is WAY past that point! This is "cutting off the tumor before it kills us" territory, and buddy? Amity ISNT the tumor. Go forth a grow, just like you wanted.

They won't be here to fix your messes anymore.

Because Danny got himself a dictionary thick "I Wish..." contract. Which was worded, as it needs to be, in one loooooooong run on sentence. Shouted "I Wish what's written on THIS, as it is currently, and without any form of editing or negotiation!" As fast as he could. Yote the document in Desiree's direction. And Flew like an INCANDESCENTLY pissed off Genie was trying to set his everything of fire.

Which she was.

Thankfully, Paulina came in clutch with her History of all things Jewelry, world fashions, and Make-Up knowledge. That, coupled with the Power Of Rich Friends(tm)? (Sam. Her mother was THRILLED to take her Jewelry and clothing shopping for something other then blacks and dark purple. They went on a jet setting whurl-wind tour. Sam actually kinda liked a some of what she found.)

They have Apology Bribes.

They shamelessly HIDE behind the mountain of Apology Bribes, while they explain themselves. Is Desiree HAPPY? No. But those bracelets are magnificent and she DOES deserve nice things. Those silks will really bring out her eyes. And she... DOES... admit...

Maybe...

That things are not... SAFE. Any longer. Danny TRIES. Everyone else can see it. And he's made incredible strides! Even convinced his lunatic parents. Though they're still not quite POPULAR. (WAY too pushy and invasive with their questions, for most people.) But the fanatics in white?

They nearly killed Box Lunch. If her father hadn't BEEN there...

And the poor man will have that scar on his back for the rest of his afterlife. Desiree can see why Danny is pushing. Does she LIKE it? No. But...

She supposes she will content herself with the suffering of the Fanatics in White and all who support them. THEIR wishes, twisted. Their ugly heart's desires.

Fine.

"SO YOU WISH IT. SO IT SHALL BE!"

And? The ghost town of what WOULD of one day grown into Amity, had the witch's there not been found by those they had fled from, which sits in long rotted ruins, amongst the trees in nowhere Illinois? Poof! Two "Towns" are switched.

The roads out of town coming to a clean line stop, meeting not even goat paths. Just trees. Old growth.

But it's not ALL of Town, is it? Faces missing. New, confused, faces from every corner of the map, taking their place. No Limnal left behind. No supporter of the GIWs genocide, brought along. Family's kept together where they could be. But by the few, scared and upset, green flashing eyes of children in the crowd?

It seemed for some, it was easier to fear and hate, then love their children.

Already they were being gathered up by school teachers and PTA parents. As everyone tried to figure out what had happened. Concerned, quite muttering a dull roar as everyone tries to coordinate.

Red Huntress joins Danny and Dani in the Sky. She doesn't get a word in. Wanted to know what the HELL was going on. She was with her dad in Chicago! Dani was in Taiwan! Literally! As in, sitting in a SUBWAY station one second, the next? Outside!

But they don't get to demand those answers. Because there is a sonic boom on the horizon. And then? Floating... weird... not ghosts?

Uuuuuuhhhh?

Hi?

That much blue... sure is a Statement. Like the cape and... bloooomers? Shorts. Bikini bottoms? It.. it's a Cool Look, dude! No, really. They are being VERY supportive here! If YOU like it? That's the only thing that matters!

Red Huntress smacks the Danny/i's Repeated upside their heads and demans to know what the Not-Ghosts are doing in their airspace.

Oh YEAH. Good point! What she said! And can it WAIT? They're kinda going through A Thing right now...

Kon? Wants it on record he loves these guys. They're hilarious. The LOOK on Clark's FACE?? He wishes he could frame it. Preserve it for future generations. Thing is? There was NOT a town here a second ago.

Well, bout 30 minutes or so, but you get the idea. One moment? Tree noises. Bam! Thousands of people! Obviously the checked it out. Only to be met with two... three maybe? Heros who have NO IDEA who they are.

Clear Reality warping shenanigans. Might be time travel or multiverse. Question is... are they STAYING? And if SO? What now...

@hdgnj @ailithnight @the-witchhunter @nerdpoe @dcxdpdabbles @mutable-manifestation @hypewinter

[hpdmguy]

ways they show each other love !

loads of rambles + clutter-less version below the cut

the yellow lines highlighting things is actually marking (almost) everywhere they touch since the primary theme of this piece is physical affection! the stars were just for fun

top left (kissing): pretty self explanatory! fun fact, it was the first thing i drew for this piece :)

top middle (hand on back): i was trying to sleep the other night and my brain suddenly went. drarry physical affection and that was the first thing i pictured! i kind of imagined this one as like... dracos stressed or something and harry just puts a nice comforting hand on his back

top right: the good ol pinkie hand hold,, link, ,think. yeah. no real thoughts behind this one. it fit the box and its cute

middle left (speech bubbles): one thing i see a lot (im pretty sure this is ((implied in)) canon as well, but dracos a big yapper! so its kinda showing here that harrys just listening to all hes got to say. probably my favourite one of the lot, i had fun rendering it. (looking at this post i too am a yapper)

middle (orange slices): theres this thing where you peel an orange for the people you love. you can look at it either way; draco providing food for harry, knowing his childhood food insecurity and always wanting to make sure he has something, or harry (whose love language is acts of service) giving something to draco, maybe after a long day

watermarked middle (draco constellation): just some fun symbolism i thought i might try to fit in

middle right (legs): in this theyre just chilling. dracos reading (the book didnt come across well ((i cant draw hands very well)).

right edge (flowers): these are narcissus flowers, also known as daffodils. a reference to narcissa malfoy, and also a reference i suppose to how she saved harry in the forest, because draco was alive, because harry saved him in the room of requirement

bottom left edge (flowers): these are lilies. partly to complete the circle of mothers saving sons saving the world, and partly because i wanted to fill space. (theyre fucking terrible to draw tho i do not recommend)

bottom left (hand in hair): well harrys hair is very luxurious as you can see and i imagine during cuddles draco cards his hand through it and teases out snarls and such. (i know hair pulling is something that can be seen as sexual, this isnt that and it isnt meant to be that and please dont see it as that :(

bottom watermark (stag): harrys patronus because why not

bottom middle: so this is a bit obscure but theres this post by @/iamnmbr3 that talks about a headcanon that they can share wands and its kind of special and intimate. so thats what ive depicted here. also for funsies harry has the draco constellation on his arm. not the big dipper. also i cant draw the dark mark for shit

bottom right (shoes): just a subtle way they can touch, not always big. just under the table or sitting on the sofa together, just to feel the other person there.

i knew i wanted a warm scheme and i knew i wanted orange and blue to play a big part in this. i was going to have warm colours on blue and cool colours on orange as a sort of contrast but that didnt end up working out.. the wand scene is an attempt at it except i mixed it up and made it cool on cool, its so washed out and i didnt bother to fix it

[mewmew-dream]

uh, is it too late to make slay the princess long quiet (and narrator) designs..? the voices designs will get designed soon! ((narrator design is basically a spoiler for those who haven't seen or played to the end of the game so beware!)) theres more info for the design and the narrator's design below along with the full image!! - - - took me so long to actually start drawing out my design tbh! mostly a mix of procrastination and other things honestly!. anyways! you may notice how my design differs from what others designed the long quiet as and the official vague renderings of him! this is very much on purpose if you couldnt tell as there is an explanation for this. - (sorry in advanced for the very odd and choppy explanation, im not very good at explaining things so i'll probably draw what i mean later to compensate) - the long quiet in the first loop(s) looks like this, but with each new part to that specific loop he'll start transforming, looking more bird like (like what we have to go off of from art from the game) each time. this also happens in the void area! (i know its called the long quiet also but i call it the void.) the design was my first idea of the game before getting the game and knowing what happened but i kept the design, just not the reason on why he looks like this! basically my thought process on this before was basically " guy who was sketchy to begin with got cursed? cool! but he has to slay a princess due to him being an outcast and his curse? better!! " it doesnt hold up when you know what happened / happens in the end though but yeah.

the narrator is based off what we get from the mirror when the player obtains 5 vessels for the shifting mound, except with all seeing eyes i guess.. he stays near the long quiet to observe in each loop yet out of sight. of course his voice is in the long quiets head so distance isnt accounted for when he's talking! he of course can see the voices as well with those big ol' eyes.

aaand heres the full image! shoutout to anyone who can see the very visible but suppose to be hidden details! (they where very last minute..) also ignore the odd neck feathers, i was gonna add more to the chest but forgot up until now but i might fix it later!!

[serejae]

WE CANT BE FRIENDS | 17. YOU CLING TO YOUR PAPERS AND PENS, WAIT UNTIL YOU LIKE ME AGAIN

(written)

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paring : myung jae x fem!reader | wc: 700 ish | warnings : none (this chapter is bootycheeks next one is better trust!!!) | genre : fluff and angst @onedoornet

mstl

taglist @lilriswife4life @cherrytaesan @tubatu-lovie @woonsbot @guiltysungho @taylorluvation @kage-yaa @lionhanie @dearly-somber @nicholasluvbot @nujeskz @unhakki @lblossom21 @crispy-kirby @seunghancore @nctrawberries @i03jae @icewons @miidorei @hanbinniesmango @helpsplease @dongminz

its been 55 minutes since jaehyun was supposed to be here. orginally your solo shot was suppose to be shot today, but woonhak texted the group chats changing the plans. sure jaehyun couldve not seen the text but you doubted it, maybe he was embarrassed but you had a sense of deja vu.

you heard woonhak sigh making you look up. “we can just film your solo shot today” you nod and follow him as he walks out his door. as you follow him to the park he starts recording you.

“we have L/N Y/N here and in this segment you’ll be asked questions that you WILL answer without jaehyun around” he started “will?” you laughed at his phrasing “long story…anyways!”

“what are your opinions on myung jaehyun?”

you keep walking looking at the ground and something just blew up in you. “he hasnt changed like at all. cause for the viewers, jaehyun and i were suppose to be filming together again but he didn’t show up and this is what he always did! especially for dates, i’ll wait for hours alone just for him to be in his studio so i’m really not suprised that he isnt here. i swear his office saw him more than i did in our almosy 2 years of dating. its irresponsible no? just to ditch everything for your career and don’t get me wrong im all in for it but its just…” you paused, why were you so bothered? “next question please woonhak.”

“i thought you both ended on good terms?”

“pfft thats what you both tell everyone when you first end things but deep down there…well like you said before lingering feelings that you just cant express because it already ended and now since everyone thinks you both ended things well you start overthinking, ‘hm i shouldnt feel this way we ended things well’ , ‘theres no point on being stuck on him now because we’re friends’ but you both know damn well you ended things ‘on good terms’ because you both swept the conversation you needed to have about the breakup under the carpet due to the fact you and them are pussies who cant handle confrontation.”

“so what if the mess under the rug is too much to the point you cant sweep anymore?”

“um, well…

either you both stand on the elevated rug thats floating at this point ontop of both your guys mess and never talk to each other again because if you do, inevitably the conversation you tried to avoid will be brought up.

or you…

fix it?”

“do you think ending things on good terms is better than ending it on bad terms?”

“no. if you end on bad terms you have nothing to talk about, because youre too focused on hating each other, but good terms each time youre around that person your mind cant help but go ‘what if?’ and soon they start to fill up your mind the same way they did when you were crushing on them then the cycle repeats of you falling in love again but then again you cant do anything because you already broke up and once they move on you have a resentment or a heartbreak feeling towards them.

the same way it does when you both end on bad terms.”

“do you…” woonhak paused and noticed your neck area. “ive always seen the chain around your neck but i never seen the charm on the necklace before” he said examining the necklack, the charm was a heart pendant with mj+(l/n initial + f/n initial) on it with the date you both started dating under. shit, you forgot the tuck it into your shirt.

quickly you tuck it into your shirt and clear your throat

“do you ever have any ‘what if’s with jaehyun, and…theres no need to lie now” woonhak laughed

you smiled and bit and continued “uhm, i wonder where him and i would be if he didnt end things. like would we be together still? if yes is the love still pure, or what we would be together right now but if we still ended things i wonder if it wouldve been on bad terms.”

“do you think of him often?”

“yeah.” no. what?

yeah?

as in yes?

you turn to look at woonhak and he looks at you with wide eyes.

“oh look a music store!! woonhak i completely forgot i told a friend id meet them there, we can end this now!” you rushed out

“NO YN! I CAN COME INSIDE AND FILM-“

“BYE!”

you run inside of the music store and pant hiding behind a shelf. when you look up and see a pair of familiar eyes. you groan silently and rested your head against the shelf, its like he’s been spawning everywhere lately and its not for the better. you look up again and see he’s staring at your neck, looking down you realize the necklace that you tucked away somehow escaped and is now staring at jaehyun. you look back up with your cheeks hot and realized hes gone

[24kmar]

𝙄𝙩 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙖 𝙗𝙖𝙙 𝙞𝙙𝙚𝙖.

Pairing: Toxic!Fem x Situationship Matt Sturniolo

Summary: Matt finds himself repeating the vicious cycle of letting the girl he loved the most come back into his life and ruin him, but what happens when he realizes he can't stop.

Warnings: Toxic situationship!! ANGSTTT, suggestive content, language, implied sex, MDNI, reader breaking matts heart 😭

English is not my first language!! So please be nice 💕

Matt didn't know how he kept getting here. He didnt know why he kept letting this terrible cycle continue. He truly hated himself, hated himself for letting her come back into his life. Giving him a sliver of hope that she would finally let him love her. Until she ruined him and left him to put himself back together.

To be honest, he did know how he got here, how she got here. How she got in his house, in his room, and in his bed. It was really a shame, a shame that all that pure bliss that had happend moments prior had to be ruined so soon after. It pained him to see her get out of the bed and begin to get dressed like they werent just fucking ten minutes ago.

"Where are you going?" Matt sat up as his eyebrows furrowed. "Home," she replied dryly. "I got shit to do" she explained as she finished getting dressed now moving to fix her hair in his mirror. The hair that he messed up, during one of the best moments in his life.

Matt would be lying if he said half of the best moments in his life werent the ones spent with her. Even if that moment was just a mili-second, it was still pure ecstacy just cause it was with her.

"You cant stay, even just for a little while?" he asked, almost pleaded while getting out of his bed. His question was met with pure silence, the only thing heard was his footsteps towards her. He stood behind and wrapped his arms around her as she didnt even look him in the eye.

"Hey....look at me" he whispered in her ear, reluctantly she did. Its funny really, how just a moment ago she looked at him with eyes full of lust and desire. And now when she looked at him, there was...nothing.

"Stay, just for a little," he paused looking at her face searching for emotion "for me." he pleaded with her. "I cant matt." she sighed rubbing her temples. "Why?" He he whispered while having a pained look on his face. "You know why i cant matt." She hissed.

"No i dont, i dont know why you cant." he said letting go of her waist stepping back, and crossing his arms. "Im not doing this with you right now" she scoffed moving to get her phone. "Yes, yes you are." he moved to grab her wrist. "Let fucking go of me" she shouted shoving him, making him stumble back slightly. He was stunned to say the least, how could she do this to him?

He loved her, more than he'd like to admit. So for her to tell him to get off her. It felt like a knife to his fucking chest. "Please," he begged as he watched her grab he bag and move towards the door "dont be like this."

Thank god chris and nick werent here to hear this. To hear him sounding like a shot down puppy dog. "What about us" he yelled following behind her down the stairs. "What about us," she chuckled dryly "there is no fucking us matt." And thats when something in him just broke, something that could never be fixed.

"If theres no us then what was the point of all this, huh?" he asked grabbing her wrist and turning her around to face him. "You're fucking kidding me matt," she shouted in his face, startling him "there was supposed to be a point in this?" She chuckled sarcastically. "Thank you so fucking much for informing me matt, i didnt know there was a point to us fucking." she hissed at him.

"This isnt just fucking and you know it" matt shook his head as tears filled his waterline. "Yes it is matt, this," she motions between them "is just sex, obviously you dont know that." she said waiting for a response. There was none.

There was absolutely nothing he could say to this. He just stood motionlessly. And to that, she turned around and walked right out that door.

He didn't really know what to say or do. And the worst part of it all was the fact that no matter what she did, he loved her unconditionally and irrevocably. This is when he realized, that no matter what happend or what she said. He would always let her back in.

And the cycle would continue.

SHIT THAT WAS HARD 😭😭😭 This blows dick but we can always improve 💀 i hope yall liked this. @teapartyprincess4two thank you for being my #1 supporter.

[popponn]

before sleeping. [isagi yoichi x reader]

notes: the thought process here is hehe isagi and then isagi sure gets feral sometimes and then hey feral is biting right and then i postponed my sleeping schedule for this. this guy is midnight madness inducer. if the first paragraph isnt clear enough. no warning except yeah this is a total fluff despite the prompt. established relationship, post canon / pro-player! isagi.

Isagi Yoichi is a genuinely nice person. A really good boyfriend with a normal and nice family, an excellent career in soccer—an overall green flag that also comes with good communication skill. His downside would probably be his soccer obsession, but if one looks from the right angle it would become a charm point along with his occasional clumsiness on other field other than his beloved sport.

Case in point, Isagi Yoichi is a normal guy, most of the time.

“Can I bite you?”

With that being said, it wouldn’t be your fault to be surprised when he suddenly asked this when the two of you were already in sleeping attires.

It was almost midnight and you were dressed in Yoichi’s old t-shirt, baggy and too large for the both of you to wear. Beside you, Yoichi already lied on his side to face you and ready to be asleep, considering the 12 hours jet lag he was supposed to be having. Yet, with his big blue eyes, he stared directly towards yours—whose are sleepy, heavy, and definitely tired.

You, who froze midway in your way to cover yourself with a blanket, blinked for a few times with your mouth slightly agape. Your eyebrows furrowed, trying to process what Yoichi just said. After a few moments of silence, you finally found your voice again, “…I thought… we are about to sleep…?”

“Yeah,” Yoichi answered simply. “But, like, can I bite you? Just once?”

You could only blink once again. Was this some leftover adrenaline high from his winning goal? You knew how Yoichi becomes a bit of someone else whenever he became excited or on a high tension—but it never really came out of blue. Especially at home like this.

Confused, you could only said, “Huh. Wow.”

In respond, Yoichi parroted both your confusion and noise, “Huh? Wow?”

“I mean,” you began to try to explain, slowly feeling your sleepiness wanning off. “That sure came out of nowhere.”

A dumb and blank expression appeared on Yoichi’s face upon hearing your words. Then, it took a mere second before it shifted into one that is full of panic and bashfulness. Yoichi immediately pushed his body to sit along with you as both his hands shook in front of him, “Oh—uh! I mean—It’s just that I look at you in that shirt and just—!”

“It’s not bad, or anything. It was just sudden,” you said, eyes fixed on his sheepish gestures. “It’s not everyday you just blurt things like that at home.”

Yoichi laughed nervously and suddenly seemed to find an interest in the crease of your shared blanket. You let him took his time to continue meanwhile you lied down to your sleeping position. As you finally covered yourself in blanket, Yoichi followed you, embarrassment still dyeing his face, “It’s, uh, I think I missed you a bit too much this time?” Yoichi said, unsure.

You chuckled as you already warped your whole body in blanket, “Playing the sweet words now, huh?”

“It’s not like that!” Yoichi insisted whilst shifting his position for a few times, trying to find comfort. “Like, I also don’t really understand why, but it’s like I really want to bite you. But like positively, in a very ‘I love you’ kind of way?”

At his wording, you found yourself smiling with a soft, unvoiced chortles bubbling inside your stomach. Even in a confusing sentence, the way he just said ‘I love you’ so easily yet earnestly really did things to your heart. You knew that this one was fueled by Yoichi’s own nervousness and confusion—yet still, it felt as genuine as he always is.

“Well,” you paused, pretending to be in a thought, before continuing. “Where do you even want to bite?”

This time, it was Yoichi’s turn to freeze. “Uh. I didn’t think that far.”

As you failed to swallow your laughs, you patted his head, “Now, now, isn’t my Mr. Striker’s head tired? Let’s do the biting and everything else tomorrow, ‘kay?”

Yoichi’s expression soften at your words and pats. Your fingers slowly moved, gently tracing the outlines of his face, and Yoichi’s bashfulness return with a look he kept only for you, “…fine.”

You nodded, smiles still in your face as you closed your eyes and drifted to sleep. Knowing Isagi Yoichi, he probably just thought that you were way too tired and chose sleep out of consideration. How sweet, truly.

But, also this is Isagi Yoichi and he never knows when to give up. With one last offering, he wrapped his hand around your back, “Can I hug you for the whole night, at least, though?”

“Sure, sure, Mr. Egoist. Aren’t you clingy today, huh?”

[cuntdestroyer3000]

Acotar rant

Spoilers

Toxic Nesta fans on tik tok are fr the most annoying people in the world omg. It’s at the point where idec abt nesta but her fans?? Some of yall suck lmao.

Like holding nesta accountable for how awful she treated her sister isnt saying she’s terrible. The whole point of her journey in her book is not only self love but taking accountability. Nesta hated herself but didn’t know how the change. The book is her GROWTH. Like I’m so annoyed w ppl victimizing her sm. Like yes she shouldn’t be hating herself but that also doesn’t mean she’s a perfect angel who never did anything wrong.

These people like nesta hate on feyre?? Which is ridiculous. A lot of the time I felt like feyre was TOO nice if anything. Bitches on tik tok were putting Rhys in the same level as KING HYBERN. Which is ridiculous.

Ppl were saying feyre mistreated nesta like?? By putting her in the house of wind?? Where later nesta understood that feyre was trying to help her?? Oh yeah the same house of wind that nesta became friends with, made three best friends, stopped drinking, got in shape and finally started to heal? Yeah ok.

Ppl being like oh poor nesta everyone was mean to her like…those were people she was mean to.

She was a huge bitch to feyre in the first book FIRST OF ALL. And then feyre kept her alive and fought for her. When I brought this up they were all like “feyre wouldn’t be alive if it weren’t for nesta” like wow it’s almost like it’s supposed to be a full circle moment where nesta realizes she was unfair to feyre. SHE LITERALLY SAYS SHE LOVES HER. Like yall are fr stupid. Nesta would not like you. She literally felt bad bc she was a bitch to feyre. And then when I said that they were like “Nesta had low self worth so she felt bad for every thing wah wah” like ok yeah but also the remorse for her treatment of feyre was warranted. Like I’m not saying she should be feeling like a piece of shit and beating herself up but like …u were a bitch to ur sister who kept you alive.

Period

Also about how feyre would be dead w out nesta, nesta wouldn’t have been able to save feyre if feyre hadn’t saved her first in the FIRST BOOK. Acosf ends with the sisters moving forward and beginning to fix their relationship so idk why you’re still hating on feyre. If you can suck nestas dick even tho she was a bitch to feyre you can forgive feyre for stuff she did in Acosf that pissed u off.

Also someone was like “she didn’t mistreat feyre feyre was mean to her first.” WHEN??

W H E N

No literally when bc the minute the book starts nesta is a huge bitch and calls her a half wild beast so don’t evennnnnn.

Anyway bitches on tik tok have me PISSED OFF and i don’t wanna respond to their bitchy asses anymore so I need to just vent my anger on here.

People who hate on feyre are so annoying like how did you read the first FOUR books if you hate her sm?? Like ur literally making this not fun lmaooo let me like feyre. I’m not mad at u for liking nesta. I’m mad at u for being stupid

[crushedsweets]

Do you have any headcanons of Lyra and Toby’s relationship?

this has been in my inbox for like over a week by now because this is a big task in my head. i will focus more on the family itself, but obviously the siblings r there.

ROGERS FAMILY HCS UNDER THE CUT... tw for abuse and addiction, of course

ok. WE'RE GETTING PERSONAL HERE. im the eldest daughter of 3 so the way in which i project into older siblings is insane. ive also had an addict father(no where near like frank though let me clarify) so in general . . the story.. makes me feel very...... basically their relationship is very personal to me.

lyra is about 2-3 years older than toby.

frank's dad was in the vietnam war, his grandparents were in wwii, his grandparents in wwi, etc. so he went into military service right after marrying connie. for a long while, he was SUPER military strict. those kids were up, made their bed, and down for chores by 6am everyday. he made them do military time rather than civilian time. he was incredibly traditional, expected a perfectly clean household, a polite soft daughter, a strong bold son, perfect wife. he wanted the 1950s nuclear family model. so toby and lyra grew up in a very clean, strict, traditional household.

in my au, frank wasnt outright abusive until the kids were around 8-11. it was after he developed his addictions and lost his job. the kids really didnt understand what was changing at first, and legitimately were like 'omg dad isnt making us wake up at 5am everyday..... this is so cool'.

theyd start having sleepovers in eachothers room, slacking a bit on chores, going to sleep late, sleeping in. toby didnt develop his tourettes until he was around 7, so lyra and toby would walk home from their elementary school together. sometimes, theyd walk another friend home first, stop at convenience stores to get candy, pet a cat, etc. frank didnt say a thing for the first few months, just drunken grumbles along connies worried 'WHERE HAVE U BEEN'. if they weren't walking around the area, they were in the backyard playing soccer.

eventually the abuse began, and all of those little freedoms were quickly stripped from the kids.

toby developing tourrettes around this time was a painful coincidence, because not only did he experience abuse at home, but awful bullying at school. he was promptly pulled out after completing 3rd grade. he was only 8.

lyra would practically run home from school everyday, as fast as a 12 year old girl with a backpack could manage, just because she spent all 7 hours in school worrying about toby at home. connie had to start working to pay bills, so..

when toby was around 11 and lyra was around 13, toby started kinda just. being more distant. he was kind of a dick to lyra for a period of time, half because of everything he was going through, half because puberty is rough. his room started getting messy, lyra had to start picking up chores he was slacking on , etc. lyra isnt perfect and began to resent toby for this, and eventually, the two were kinda at eachothers throats for like 6 months. which isnt a lot, but for kids, its an eternity.

when franks abuse evolved from ''just'' verbal abuse, to shoves, to slaps, to full on beatings, toby started egging frank on. just to get him off of lyra and connie. obviously he couldnt feel it, and while it sure took a fucking mental toll, it was so much easier to just wait it out rather than listen to the girls cry.

lyra didnt even realize toby was doing this for a while, she just thought it was all part of him going through his little hormonal asshole phase, until one day frank made a fucked up comment about 'youre lucky that boy is always causing trouble. was supposed to be you'. then it kinda clicked and she very quickly tried to fix their relationship back to what it was.

frank eventually scared connie so badly that there'd be periods of time where she'd take the kids in the middle of the night, and run off to either her parents place, or even a random hotel in another city. she'd use cash, force the kids to keep their phones at home, leave literally everything behind and often make the kids pick out new toothbrushes at a random walmart. etc. it would only last a few days each time, and lyra fought so hard to stay strong while her mom cried and toby closed himself off.

she'd try to get toby to come to the hotel pools with her, try to get him to watch tv with her, try to get him to just fucking talk to her. he was often catatonic during these little runaways, once the confusion adrenaline and fear wore off

it wasnt until they went around a month without seeing their father, and frank had some weird fucking. 'those are MY kids too' thing and went to connie's parents house while all the adults were out, and forced the kids back home. this was the first time lyra was full on sobbing and begging and pleading in years. that was what shifted something in toby, too.

now tobys 13, lyras 15, and theyre on better footing. theyre starting to understand eachother. tobys back on keeping up with chores, knowing that either him lyra or connie was going to get beat if they were missed. sometimes he'd just silently come into lyras room and lay down and watch tv with her. they'd talk about books, about school, their trust was built right back up and toby ended up being the first to know about lyras school drama, gossip, boys, etc.

toby wasn't really socialized properly, since he's been homeschooled for 6 years by now. all the time, he'd hear lyras stories, and wish he could go to school. his mom would be horrified anytime toby asked, because all she could remember was her sweet boy coming home and crying into her arms after a day of being mocked and pushed around by peers.

so he began to live through lyra, in a sense ? he almost became a diary for lyra, and he kinda loved it. she was like a sitcom to him.

frank wasnt a good father by any means during this period, he was still awful, but he wasn't constantly looking for trouble. the kids kept to themselves, connie did everything she was expected to, he didnt give a shit about their grades or social lives. he couldn't even recgonize when lyra was coming home late.

lyra got her license the second she turned 16. the house had two cars, and its not like frank was ever going anywhere, so she was always going everywhere. she adored the freedom, and took toby wherever he'd let her. he only really left the house if he was going grocery shopping with his mom or something, so it was kinda weird now that he was just. going to malls. going to restaurants. going to parks. just Hanging Out. every now and again he'd stick around when Lyra was with her friends, but he didn't like them so it was rare.

sometimes theyd just drive together for a long time. at night, she was the one to take him to every hospital visit, she even got him to volunteer at a pet shelter she worked at for a bit. 3 years and they become so close again, and lyra is tobys best friend. she's his entire world because who else does he have ? he loves his mom, but she's married to the man he hates more than anything

toby was 16 and lyra was 18 when frank strangled toby till he passed out. thats finally when connie kicked frank out, forcing frank to go live on his moms couch. lyra was mortified and started spending an absurd amount of time with toby. she took online community college courses just so she could spend even more time with toby, and it didnt hurt to do so since frank wasnt there anymore. things were getting better for the family, frank was gone, lyra was in college, connie was working, toby was volunteering at shelters and even had a few acquaintances he'd talk to now and again.

lyra picked toby up from the shelter he volunteered at when the accident happened.

lyra and connie had matching silver necklaces with a circle pendant that had their initials. toby didnt cuz frank would get pissed if toby tried wearing jewelry, but when lyra died, toby immediately clung to it. he wears it religiously. the only time he takes it off is if he knows he's going to kill someone that day. otherwise, its always on him.

lyra died and was buried in colorado. toby lives in alabama now. so he really doesnt visit her grave often. only on her birthday, he'll scramble together some money and get brian, tim, and kate to agree to cover his uh. 'shifts' with slenderman, and take a few loooonnnggg train rides over to colorado.

he'll leave two bouquets of flowers. one for lyra, one for connie.

connie just feels in her heart that its toby. she has no reason to believe it, they've never bumped into eachother (toby's visiting at like 2am and falls asleep near the grave for a few hours), but she knows nobody else whos visiting lyras grave and leaving two sets of the same flowers.

toby and lyras childhood home was put on sale shortly after it was reconstructed from the fire, and connie moved in with her sister. lyras bedroom door was the only one that was shut and left unscathed after the fire (legitimately keep your doors shut if you ever have a housefire it can save entire bedrooms and even lives). the rest of the house was ruined, but not lyras room. connie kept every single one of her belongings, but she's put some photos out on the grave. tobys taken them, and connie believes it was him. again, she has no reason to believe it other than the flowers and 'why would someone take a photo of my dead daughter.'

anyway hi. in tears. i love them. sorry. i just retell their story over and over and get sad everytime