#there isnt actually really that much cheese on it

[immushymellow]

look at this master piece

the pinnacle of culinary arts

i dont actually know what pinnacle means did i do it right

[heartorbit]

figure skating set right now please. thanks

[cowboy-robooty]

imma be real with u guys i actually unironically love danganronpa but only the source content i hate 99.99999% of fan content so fucking much.

LISTEN THIS IS A HETALIA BLOG NONE OF US ARE BETTER THAN DANGANRONPAERS AND EVERYONE WHO IS UNAWARE NEEDS TO UNDERSTAND DANGANRONAPERS TREAT KOKICHI THE WAY HETALIA FANS TREAT ENGLAND. EXCEPT WORSE. SOMEHOW 100000x WORSE

[the-s1lly-corner]

Since you said spam is okay for now I'll send the other half of this after :3

Slashers x reader who calls everything they do cute! They can be covered in blood and gore but the reader will still call them cute!

Various Slashers x reader who always calls them cute

God I love white cheddar snacks which is weird because I dont like eating straight up cheese

Characters: Jason, Bubba, Michael

Notes: reader is GN, reader is.... a little silly... not silly funny but definitely silly

CWs: canon typical violence and death

JASON

when its during the normal day to day life? he loves it! truly he does! but.... when hes covered in blood, he doesnt quite know how to feel... you think hes cute like this? really?

he does something that warrants a compliment but isnt exactly cute- such as chopping wood or lifting something heavy or just generally doing non-killing work around the place... gives a slight pause after you call him cute

it does make him feel nice about himself, not just because you think hes visually cute! you think he acts cute, too, and thats actually really assuring for him because he knows hes a big scary dude! hes not the most gentle and hes hyper aware of the fact he can accidentally kill you, hes not exactly used to tenderly handling another human being!

you dont find him intimidating is what he means!

BUBBA

you can see his ears go bright red when you call him cute while he carves up some meat for later... his knuckles turn white as he grips the chainsaw and he just... ehehehe...

thinks about it for a long long time, he never gets used to it no matter how many times you call him cute. definitely the type to kick his feet just a little bit while hes sitting down

grips his apron if you call him that while his hands are empty- shifts the material around in his hands as his mouth moves and curls... he never says anything but you know hes thinking nice things

doesnt care what the context is he will get happy anytime you call him it, he could be in the middle of disemboweling someone and you will give him pause

MICHEAL

confused head tilt. him? cute? yeah sure... hes already letting you stay alive and get close to him, why not go ahead and poke the bear!/hj/lh

never really addresses it and he doesnt seem to feel much way about it outside of the initial confusion, at least hes not stopping you or growing cold towards you

you catch him washing blood off of himself and he just blankly stares at you as you tell him hes a cutie pie

that being said he does dislike being called a cutie patootie. he doesnt hurt you but the stare he gives you hits different, and if you try again he simply.. puts his hand on your mouth

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

too many teens whining for validation, this blog needs more weird and stupid so...

AITA for kidnapping my friend and trapping her in the cheesebarn?

Hear me out:

The story starts about a week before my (20 at the time ftm) 21st birthday. If you live in the US you know this isnt just some lame 7th birthday or 36th birthday, this is one of the big boy birthdays, the special ones. Its when you can legal buy alcohol and are therefore truly an adult in the eyes of the law.

Naturally my friends (20s) wanted to do something Big for our 21sts. So they asked me what i wanted to do and i said i didnt really care as long as I got a road trip somewhere with friends.

Everyone thought it was a fun idea but it was a little short notice for everyone to get time off from work, but my other friend we will call C also had her 21st exactly a month after mine to the day, and the two of us agreed to share our 21sts and not do much of anything on my actual birthday. This is important, bc it was a SHARED birthday road trip.

I agree to let C pick the destination and I provide the car. We didnt have much of a plan as we were going to meet up with C's old roommate who lives in the city we picked to show us a good time.

It was 5 of us total and about a 7 hour drive altogether there with not a whole lot on the way there. We get to the city she picked and meet the roommate and honestly the rest of this part is just standard 21st birthday shenanigans. Its when we start the drive home things really start.

Remember its a long drive with not much to see? Well that was a lie. On our way back we see it, the Real "Happiest Place on Earth" as far as places with a mouse for a mascot go:

Grandpa's.

Fuckin'.

Cheesebarn.

Obviously me and the other people on the trip want to stop and see the magic, but unfucking fortunately C happens to be the only Basic White Girl ™️ in the entire world who hates cheese and isnt even lactose intolerant. This girl is notorious for making "petty" and "I hate Cheese" her entire personality. She would constantly make faces and gagging noises and talk about how gross and nasty cheese is if you so much as eat a grilt cheese near her.

Clearly she made it known that she wasnt on board with it. "NO! FUCK YOU ALL IM NOT GOING TO A PLACE CALLED A CHEESEBARN ON MY BIRTHDAY!!" were her exact words.

But i remembered i was driving, it was my car, and it was supposed to be my birthday too. So I put it to a vote. "Raise your hand if you wanna go to Grandpa's Cheesebarn!"

All hands raise but one. With C out voted we head to the cheesebarn.

Guys. This place is amazing. Its obviously making cheese its main draw, but yhere's so much more, its every shitty midwest tourist trap rolled into one glorious place. There's even a chocolate shop. We even got C's roommate to ditch work and come meet us bc shr heard "Grandpa's Cheesebarn" and knew she had to drop everything.

All in all a good visit, C even seemed like she had fun once we got there (she sure spent $300 on candies and dip mixes anyway). We go home. Things seem fine.

Then C drops off the face of the earth.

She wont respond to our calls or texts and at first we thought maybe she was giing through a rough patch or something and try to just keep reaching out but give her space. But then we find out that not only is she still hanging our with our other friends who couldnt make the trip with us. So clearly she's just pissed at us about something.

Finally one day a few months later i catch her at her job and just tell her "I dont care if you hate us, we'll never speak to you again if you dont want us to, but what the hell did we do to you??"

And she just looked me over and says "Well. You kidnapped me."

lolwut

And she yells (bc this girl loves yelling at people) "YOU KIDNAPPED ME AND TRAPPED ME AT A CHEESEBARN ON. MY. BIRTHDAY!!!!!"

And i just said "Well it was my birthday too," and havent spoken to her since. Its been over a decade and "No ragrets" as we said back in the day, but uts baffled me for years that that was her reaction. "Im just over you guys" i can understand, and its not like she was shy about telling people she hates them and their out of her life ever before. And from what i ended up hearing from our other friends she kept talking with it really was about the cheesebarn and how we "ruined her birthday".

No but srsly AITA??? For making her go to a cheesebarn???

What are these acronyms?

[carmenlire]

decided I don't even give a fuck about the meeting and am at starbucks

didn't pack lunch and told myself I wouldn't go out on my lunch hour bc I need to stop fucking spending money but it's 9:25 am and i.... feel the need for a little treat

[kristlewrites]

“Shoot! Take a Panorama”

CW: semi-public sex, degradation (slut, whore, bitch), oral (m!receiving), slut-shaming, nickname (mamas), dacryphilia, rough sex, but dw aftercare at the end!

PAIRING: TattooArtist!Law x Blk!FemReader

WC: 1.9k

🫧🗯️: Thank you so so much for all the support on my lastest fics, it means alot to me!🫶🏽 uh ive never gotten a tattoo yet, so if the tattoo experience isnt accurate... oh well! I had to watch a video to get as best as i could ijbol. Also way off topic but has anyone watched bottoms, like its probably one of my fave movie releases this year.

MINORS DNI

(Cheese!)

Hand in hand you and Perona skipped down the cold sidewalk. It was just a little past midnight and both you and Perona were all jittery with excitement. While you guys were at Peronas apartment, she had this insane idea that you guys should have matching tattoos. "It'll be so cute!” She squeals, holding up her phone showing some ideas. Searching through pinterest you guys had finally come to an agreement on the design, matching stars in hot pink ink right on your waist. You guys spend about thirty minutes looking for a parlor that's open this late.

“Ohh it's gonna be impossible” Perona sulks, throwing her phone across her bed. Laying down in defeat

“No, look! I found one and look they take walk-ins too!” You exclaimed you show her, her mood quickly changes while she springs up from the bed and starts jumping

“Well let's go!” She shrieks, opening for her closet revealing all different shades of pink and black clothing pieces. She put on a cute two piece outfit and you were ready to go!

You guys approach a small store, built with red brick decorated with neon lights flickering ‘Open 24/7’. Deserted parking lot, with only two cars assuming that they both belong to the employees.

“Is this the right place?” Perona questions. 

“Umm, It should be” you reply with a little uncertainty in your voice “It should be fine though”

In sync you guys make your way towards the glass doors, met with a cold breeze sending yall into a shiver.

“Hey what can I do for y'all?” A woman's voice vibrated through the room, capturing your attention. “My name is Bonney”

“We wanted to get matching tattoos.” answered Perona, her arms tangled around yours squeezing them.

“Awh, that's so cute. Give me a minute, I have to tidy up the studio.” Bonney existed the counter and headed into a room towards the left

“Ahhh! I'm so excited” Perona shrills, making her way towards some chairs lined up against the brick wall.

“I know right!” You respond admiring all the beautiful artworks lined up against the wall varying with color and realism. ‘The people here must be really good’ you thought to yourself, sitting next to perona.

Bonney comes out of the room waving to Perona letting her know it's time. “Wish me luck y/n” Perona whispers, clearly nervous but also excited at the same time.

“Law should be ready for you anytime soon” Bonney reassured you, closing the door behind her.

Now that you were alone, you finally realized the severity of the situation. You didn't think about the consequences till now, and how irresponsible it may seem that this was decided just on impulse. But not just that but what about the actual process? Your pain tolerance was below average.

“You can come in now.” you hear a rough voice from across the store. Reluctantly you grab your purse and get up from your seat making your way slowly into the room.

 Hesitantly Knocking on the door, “Hello” 

The door opens wide to reveal a tall melanated man littered with tattoos from head to toe.

“Show me your design” He asks, not even giving you attention. Pulling out your phone, you show him the design. He pats onto the chair gesturing for you to sit down. You lay down onto the chair facing towards the ceiling while he fishes for his tools. “Where do you want it?” He asks, still searching for his tools.

“Right here” You lower your shorts and point down towards your waist. 

He moves his chair towards his desk and quickly starts sketching out the design, “Is this alright?” he asks, displaying his outline, you nod at his impressive work. You flinch at the coolness of the alcohol. Which he wipes down the area of your stomach making sure that it is nice and prepped. He sets down his stencil sketch on the region where you want the tattoo to be, tearing it off gently leaving the ink on your skin.

A few seconds later you hear the intimidating buzzing noise of the machine coming closer. “Let me know when you're ready” Law asks, wiping down the tip of the needle. You nod nervously. ‘Its now or never’ you think to yourself. 

You squirm from the contact of the needle converging on your skin, you tense up a little from the pain but with time the pain becomes much more tolerable. It takes no time at all, you finish as quick as you started. He pats down the area of the tattoo with care then gets up “Don't make any sudden movements, I'm gonna grab a bandage real quick” he declares standing up leaving the room. 

You reach for your purse, digging for your wallet. But it wasn't there!!? ‘Ohmyfuckinggod; you thought to yourself immediately you sat up “Shit!” you whisper shout from the pain of the freshly inked tattoo. No way you left your wallet at personas apartment are you kidding how does that even happen. You were sure that it was in your purse when you left.

You hear Laws footsteps come closer and lay back down, you're so fucked.He comes in setting down the bandage and running through the aftercare steps. You are not even paying attention, worried about how you'll be able to even leave. “Did you get that?” he asks

“Um, yea.”

“So cash or card?”

“Well about that…I kinda sorta left my wallet at home.”you say  “Do you guys take apple pay?”

“No.” he says bluntly

“Well h-how about I cash app you?” 

“I'm not allowed to receive tips”

“Pleaseee” you were pleading for you life

He shakes his head no

“Well, how am I supposed to pay you?” you say whining a little bit.

A devilish smirk sneaks up across his face “I have an idea.”

Next thing you know, your knees are on the cold hard tile,tears streaming down your face, nose running, and your mouth is stuffed with laws long filthy dick. He viciously grabs your braids pulling you back, “Do it correctly whore” he seethes

“I-its t-too much” You say sniffling 

“I don't want to hear it bitch, you will take it all.” He says while slapping his slimy cock on your face then pushes you back onto his dick causing your eyes to roll back. You continue to suck on his dick, twirling your tongue around the tip. Using your hand to make up for the rest of his cock twisting it round and round. You look up to him with your big brown eyes pleading. And my oh my is he enjoying the view, your crystal teardrops flowing down your beautiful face, you breasts spilling out of your tank top, it's like a masterpiece to him.

He thrusts his dick more into your mouth causing you to choke, “You dirty lying bitch, saying you can't take it all, well look at you taking me in so well” he snickers. Seizing your head he pushes you back and forth, your mouth rocking against his cock, “you need to go faster, I'm getting bored up here” law says. Mindlessly you obey, rocking vigorously on his cock, gagging you go faster and faster taking him whole. He pulls your head once again and jerks your head in a smooth rhythm, your tongue rotating in a fluent pattern on his penis sending him into a state of unconsciousness. Without warning you feel his warm gooey cum shoot down your throat. You open your mouth, rejecting the feeling “Nuh uh don't even think about, swallow it all.” nodding eagerly you gulp it down, shivering from the weird sensation traveling down your esophagus. “Open wide” Law orders, obediently you do just that.

“Ah” You open your mouth wagging your tongue, he sticks his thumb inspecting your mouth.Your face was a wreck, saliva and drool smeared all across your face, nose running, stained trails of your tears.

“Good girl, now get on the chair and get on all fours for me”

Without a second to think, you remove your clothes leaving them on the floor, you jump onto the chair raising your plump ass in the air. (If yall are confused it like those chairs that can retract down like this)

“You filthy slut, your pussy is leaking like a goddamn faucet are you not ashamed?” Law whispers into your making you even wetter. Even when you had just met him, you were already so attracted to him. His deep rough voice, his tall figure, slim long fingers, and his tattoos crawling in every corner of his body. It was hard to keep your composure when he drew the tattoo on you, and now seeing him underneath his clothes was enough to send you over the edge. You have to admit this was definitely not how you imagined this night would go – poor Perona is probably already done with hers waiting for you in the lobby– but you can't say you're mad about it. 

Grazing his fingers across your already slimy clit pacing it back and forth teasing at your entrance. He slowly slips his lanky fingers into you, moving it slowly and steady taking in your warm embrace. Going in out into your melty cunt, preparing for his aching dick itching to enter you. Releasing his fingers a smooth ‘pop!’ sound pronouncing itself. Effortlessly he pulls on a condom, gears it straight towards your hole. Gradually, he inserts himself into you returning into that warm enclosure.

“Mmph” your eyes roll back at the fulfilling sensation of his cock into you, pulsing your cunt begging for more. You arch your back a little bit yearning for his whole dick.

“You're such a greedy bitch, arching your back like a greedy little slut. You want me so bad don't you?”

“Mhm” you mutter

“Nuh-uh use your words lil mama or else I won't be able to help you”

“I want it! Pleaseee”

“Good girl” law says in a rewarding tone then grabs your hips violently thrusting into you relentlessly showing no signs of slowing down. You reach the ends of the chair, trying to keep yourself supported from his endless stamina. “Im gonna fuck you so good, your pussy wont forget my dick.”Law grunts as he hits your g-spot repeatedly, it sends you over the edge, drooling spilling from your mouth, eyes rolled back beyond, brain turned to mush. You can't even speak, being an incoherent mess. 

“L-law, i-m gonna c-cumm” you mumble out disorderly a trail of spit spilling onto the chair.

“C'mon bitch, come on me like the dirty slut that you are” Law muttered. “Agh” ,without a second to waste your orgasm comes flowing through your body. You shudder at the sensation of it crashing down. Panting hard, Law continues until he himself releases into the condom.

You wake up with your whole body in shambles, ‘what the fuckkk’ you mutter to yourself. Trying to lift yourself up you feel a great surge of pain in your back. You look around the unfamiliar scenery to realize you're not in your bed, or not even Peronas?!?!? Panning your eyes down to the chair that you were sleeping in, the memories come back to you like a flood. “What the fuckkk” you say even louder, understanding the severity of the situation. Law enters the room with a towel. You stare at him in disbelief, you cannot believe what you have done.

“Don't worry about your friend, I sent her home already” Law winks

You raise your arm towards your forehead, hiding in shame of what you have done. You can hear Law chuckling in the background and you just wanna drown yourself.

[generalluxun]

I think one of the failures of the show is trying to portray chloe as this menacing opposition towards the protagonist either fisrt as an antagonist and later as a villain, but the problem is that she kinda isnt.

Like when has chloe ever won at just one of the conflicts she is ever present, she always loses it, no matter the stakes so its difficult to take her seriously, second as far as the shows establish, she doesnt have any skills or knowledge that lets her compete or surpass the rest of cast (and never seems to use her supposed ballet or other skills outside of specific circumstances that never amount to much) she uses her fathers (not hers) money and influence and is literally nothing without that.

In chloe goes back in time AU this could be an important plotpoint, when she took the ring from chat noir, broke her akumatization and run away with it, that was hers and ONLY HERS victory, within the framework of how she sees her life know, this is truly her triumph, and only leaning into it (by beign purrge) she has value, otherwise chloe sees herself as nothing.

Poor plagg is gonna have his hands full with this, if he gets even a simple understanding of chloe current state, he wouldnt want to leave her even for all the cheese in the world, because this kitten needs him ASAP.

yeah, the canon had this weird mix of trying to make Chloe out to be an actual threat but also using her as the buffoon. You can't really have it both ways. She was best as the buffoon who never did serious damage. When they tried to make her out to be a 'real villain' it just didn't work with what they had set up. Lila fits as a 'real villain' because she never loses anything important. Even being 'caught' amounted to nothing. She discarded the personality of Lila without a second thought and walked away undeterred.

Chloe WOULD have thought of taking the ring as a victory in Chloe goes back in time AU, but then it was Adrien. Yes she's angry at Adrien, but in a different way than she is angry at Cat Noir. So when one became the other it turned into a bit of an emotional implosion. Victory turned to ash, and now he's got new ways to be angry, ways she hasn't had time and doesn't have the experience to understand.

She's running on instinct, and she's never done that before. It's terrifying.

[aguineapigcouldntdothis]

very quick turkish sephardic food guide

sephardic savory foods: never fear acidity and add it to every dish. if it's actually sour that's even better and lime is your best friend. main flavors are paprika, cilantro/coriander, cumin, tomato, onion, and garlic. if you're wondering whether or not to use rice the answer is yes. use lots of summery vegetables, salty cheeses like feta, and dont be afraid to eat the meals cold sometimes. if you decide to use meat go for things like lamb, chicken, and fish (beef is less common and ofc no pork). season to your heart's content and season some more.

sephardic sweet foods: still don't be afraid of acidity citrus is very very good. main flavors are orange, honey, lemon, fig, almond, cinnamon, pistachio, and raisin. you're gonna be making a fuck ton of pastries. save the homemade dough for REALLY special events otherwise just get it premade. they should be sweet but not overly sweet. think sweet like fruit would be, not sweet like a chocolate chip cookie. get almond extract and vanilla extract they'll make everything so much better and add a pinch of salt to every dessert.

overall: if it smells good together it'll taste good together and 80% of sephardic cooking is just winging it. you can make it whatever spice level you want but most savory foods taste best at a medium/medium-high spice level. dont worry too much about appearance its supposed to be a little bit messy. if it makes you think of mid-late summer you got the flavors right. there are also a bunch of different sub-cuisines of sephardic food this is just what i make now and have been making since i was a little kid.

edit: i had an old edit on this post saying lamb isnt kosher which isnt true it is kosher. i think i was thinking of some other animal and typed the wrong thing. now i have no clue what i actually meant to say

[electronicclowncollector]

WHY BICKSLOW IS HORRIBLE

In the Fairy Tail Canon, Bickslow Is the clear antagonist, yet people still seem to justify his actions and say that he belongs in the Fairy Tail guild despite this (mostly Macao, but we all know why that is). But in my essay I’m going to explain to you why you should hate bickslow and how he really isnt one of those cool villain characters that people justify because they’re cool (shadow the hedgehog). From his many many crimes to how he’s almost caused the worlds end in the Fairy Tail Canon.

This clearly shows that bickslow STOLE Stings jacket and tore it apart to make some pathetic cloak that doesn’t even go all the way down. He does NOT pull that look as well, making it even more of a crime. Whats WORSE is the fact that THAT JACKET is ROGUES FAVOURITE. Sting wasn’t more then mildly annoyed by the loss of his jacket, but ROGUE LOVED IT. Sting only really wore it because rogue liked it. Even though he’s had it for 10 years and its waay too small for him (sting had the sleeves stretched to fit his arms, he really didn’t want to reveal that much shoulder but it was for rogues sake). If this hasn’t at the very least planted a seed of doubt in your mind, then CLEARLY you need to refer to my stingue essay.

Following this point, we’ve now got our first piece of evidence that Bickslow is evil, we can move onto the next related point. Bickslow HATES STINGUE. It’s not clear for first time viewers but for a veteran and expert like me, it’s very clear to see. In one of the most commonly referred to Stingue panels during the Dark Destiny Arc, (or at least it would have been if bickslow weren’t there), Rogue and Sting are teaming up to fight the morally complex Levia and the other dragon that probably didn’t actually show up to the battle, when BICKSLOW (more like badslow) THIRD WHEELED THEIR DRAGON KILLING DATE.

This is incredibly evil, the two main characters of the series were having an iconic moment when BICKSTUPID came in and RUINED It by trying to finish stings sentence and ending up making absolutely no sense at all. And this was clearly malicious, bickslow could’ve probably smelled the romance in the air and went to RUIN it by third wheeling. This is just the start of his streak of ruining romances.

My next point relates to something that occurred nearly 5 years ago. The C virus epidemic, a very dark time in recent years, where the world was plagued with tragedy. You might think that I’m about to say that bickslow caused this. No. he was stupid. He didn’t understand what the big deal was, he WAS MALICIOUSLY STUPID ABOUT MASKS. See the image below.

He knew full well that neither his nose and mouth were covered when he was in public spaces without a mask, he was actively spreading the virus. Thank goodness karma saved the day by giving him the C virus, which annoyingly he recovered from, out of all people it should have been someone else, but he did, probably from making a deal with the fairy devil satan or whoever it would be that he could make a deal with.

My next point is a big one but not the biggest in this essay. One of Bickslows favourite hobbies is taking innocent towns hostage so that the mayor will pay him off in dragonberry cheese (also who the hell eats dragonberry cheese, he’s the only guy in the franchise who doesn’t eat them raw and cheeseless). He has done this over 20 times throughout the runtime of the manga, anime and games. Here is a map I’ve created where the towns that Bickslow hasn’t taken hostage have been removed.

Most people are only aware of 1 or two, but if you look in the background of certain frames that happen in towns, you’ll see newspapers that if you enhance the quality of, will tell  you all about how bickslow took another town hostage. You may be asking, why does natsu let him stay in the fairy tail guild? Simple. Because A. Macao insists on natsu letting him stay (for obvious reasons), and B. Because Bickslows father, Sir Bobslow the 3rd founded the fairy tail guild (before he went insane, married a long tongued unspeakable creature and had her give birth to bickslow). So if Bickslow was removed there would surely be revolt.

And now for my final point, the most undeniably horrible of them all, and the reason why I made this essay. The straw that broke the camels back so to speak. On @Lilacharbour ‘s tomodachi life island, Bickslow attempted to confess his love to YUKINO OF ALL PEOPLE. Which any follower of this blog should know that canonically to fairy tail she likes me (proof below)

but STUPIDSLOW tried his shot and rightfully got rejected, because nobody could love him solely because of this crime of a confession. Here is some footage I found from the confession (I struggled to copy paste this image as it made my cry almost)

This is a crime against humanity, it doesn’t even rhyme, he has 0 rizz and it shows. Thankfully Yukino put him in his place.

In conclusion, Bicksad is absolutely horrible and I really think he should leave fairy tail, not just the guild, but the franchise, just so I can show him this essay. I hope you enjoyed. If I have yet to convince you, don’t worry, I’m fine with that, I hate only bickslow, not his fans. But just know your opinion is wrong.

[single-malt-scotch]

there was a moment in ren's stream where gem mentioned she had a brownie to which bdubs said "chocolate?" everyones like "well there are only chocolate brownies. are there other kinds of brownies?" etho chimes in like "oh dont you know about cheese brownies" as like, a joke thing hes making up. but. hes so normal sounding everyone else was like . wait what. admittedly etho has been saying so much weird stuff this season i was like like. hold up is he joking or. but anyways they went back and forth with him and when asked to explain further he quickly said bye and flew away.

which they joked abt how etho just did Not explain himself. they talked about "yes and"-ing and bdubs took a moment to say how he saw etho in this situation. no one there is really "role playing" but have different ways they handle improv situations (bdubs saying hes the kinda guy who just acts like he doesnt know words or how to talk. which yeah actually real). how martyn and ren have a specific way of engaging thats very similar and works very well. "yes and" is kinda a key ability in making improv bits flow.

bdubs says etho obvs doesnt role play, and while he does his jokes and has his humor, when he pulls out a joke like what happened there, the way he presents it sounds so casual that people take him seriously and there isnt always an obvious "yes and" situation being had (and etho doesnt always know how to create it). which kinda has him struggle to continue (imo not helped by his existing shyness) and in this case made it part of the joke that he just fuckin left lol.

[walnutcookie]

can i ask what cheddar's curse is :333333333 3 33333 :333 :#3333333333333333333333333333 :3:#3333

HI I AM SO GLAD YOU ASKEDDD. :33 THANK U SO MUCH FOR THIS ASK /GEN. you have unleashed hell i am about to write so many paragraphs /silly /pos

ok to rb!

I need to draw a picture of them without the shadow sometime but. basically that glint in the shadow over cheddars face?

thats not their eye. they dont have an eye there anymore. instead it is a jewel :]c a cheddarstone to be exact. And it is very cursed!

still need to figure out exactly how it goes but when the blue cheese manor burned down they reached for the cursed jewel that their family had and They survived! They technically cannot die! but living isnt exactly easy

inside of them is a ton of Dark almost ink-like goop,, its like. Anti-life force. It seeps through their skin slowly and if it seeps out too much cheddar has to fight for control. if it gets really bad they lose control entirely. the only way to keep it from seeping out is by absorbing pure life force. they can obtain it through being around someone as they die, but more effectively they can kill people themself. Which is pretty easy since!! touching anti-life force kills a person IMMEDIATELY literally all cheddar needs to do is touch someone and theyre dead.

of course, if people knew that she was doing this, theyd be arrested immediately so theyve found ways to be sneaky about it :]c

for one, they cover themself up as best as possible. Literally from the head down its completely covered - giant coat, gloves, boots, etc. plus the hat covers not only the jewel in their eye but the anti-life force goop growing on his face!!! They avoid being in crowds or tightly packed spaces and theyre careful not to ever touch someone - while the clothing helps, it doesnt completely negate the curse, so while a brush of the shoulder may not kill the person itll at least drain them which will look suspicious.

obviously this quote wasnt related but shh its about Universe A. to me

cheddar has basically made themself untouchable (both metaphorically and literally).

say, theoretically, they need to take another victim. theyre travelling with macaroni on oh, say, a train, and they find a random cookie isolated in a train car with nobody around to witness anything. they peel off their glove and put their hand on the victims mouth, muffling their scream and killing the person instantly, and then they gently lower the body down so it doesnt make a noise as it hits the floor. next they use a knife to stab the person a few times - theyre already dead, but since touching them wouldnt give any indicators toward the cause of death, they have the perfect opportunity to create a false story behind the murder of this cookie and frame someone else for it. all they need to do after that is call macaroni to come see and he'll practically do the work for them!!!

ive mentioned this on one of my posts before but i headcanon that macaroni. cannot. stand. mysteries. he has to have them solved ASAP otherwise he CANNOT rest easy. he wont be able to eat or sleep very well at all. it makes him so anxious as much as he loves mysteries

Cheddar uses this to their advantage! theyve created a person in macaroni's head - someone whos lazy, who doesnt put much effort into their work, someone who doesnt rely on real evidence very much. How would someone like cheddar manage to frame someone else for a murder theyve committed and get away with it? especially since cheddar is around macaroni 24/7 and hed never expect them to do something in like the five minutes that they sneak away. not to mention cheddar has been working for the cbi even longer than mac and why on earth would a cbi agent kill someone for (seemingly) no reason??? In reality cheddar is actually much smarter and observant than they make themself seem but mac is in HEAVY denial about it because he doesnt want to have to think about his work partner being a murderer. Better to come up with other solutions (which cheddar so generously offers to him by framing people) than to point the finger at cheddar and raise dozens more questions that may be left unanswered. Plus the thought that all of the deaths cheddar caused would technically partially be macs fault. And as much as cheddar annoys him, mac has grown pretty attached to them.

someone could literally yell at mac and say LOOK!!! CHEDDAR HAS BLOOD STAINS ON THEIR COAT OH MY GOD!!!!!!! and mac will just laugh and say Haha that must be from lunch yesterday :) LIKE. cheddar has just made the perfect alibi for themself. they can never be accused of any crime because mac will defend them no matter what just to keep his own sanity

all of the killing and murder and crime aside cheddar is. Fucking miserable. shes so insanely touch starved bro they havent had a hug since like 1806 (except for like one person CCOUXGGHT COUCGHE GOUCGH ROUCYEO CAPPUCCINO COUGH COUCGH SPUTTER COUGH thats another post entirely though if anyone sends an ask abt it ill talk about it) and they try to make themself seem unlikable towards macaroni and try to distance themself from people and avoid relationships because even just a high five or a brush of the shoulder could be fatal. its too much of a risk, and its not one theyre willing to take.

he is fucking Smitten for macaroni theyre so head over heels for that girl but they just! CANT!!!! they cant get close to him because then he might DIE and not only would they lose the person they love but that would mean that their precious alibi is gone and theyd have to be extra extra sneaky about things to make sure that nobody catches them committing crimes. not to mention because of the way they act macaroni fucking HATES HIM. one sided yuri my beloved

anyways yaay ill stop there before this post gets too long X] theres more stuff about these two (including actual yuriful fluff NO WAAY) if youre curuois or have any other questions just shoot me an ask id love to answer!!!!

as always i dont think this is canon by any means it is all just my silly headcanon au because i think cheddar should be fucked up As a treat👍have a nice day If you read all of this i loveyiu so much /p

[the-s1lly-corner]

Making s'mores w/ the proxies

Bro I made cajun shrimp a while ago and I wanna make it again it's so good but my dad doesnt like cajun seasonings💔

Notes: reader is GN, admin shows his bias against smores and its so obvious LMAO, masky and hoodie are stubborn about their masks

CWs: none

MASKY

loathes smores, he just thinks theyre too much and not worth the mess.. he doesnt have much of a sweet tooth, and the only reason he would eat one is because you went through the effort of starting a fire and bringing the stuff out and meeting him in the woods

has his back to you while hes eating his, hes not quite to the "hes fine with lifting his mask up around you" stage, and its going to stay like that for a long while

viscously rubbing his face afterwards to get rid of any leftover mess, he hardly ever talks or makes a sound but you can hear him hissing under his breath as he works

snatches up any napkins or wipes you hand him and rubs his face clean- may rip his mask off to clean the insides of it because he put it back on not realizing there was still more mess on his face

rage rage anger he hates it so much

HOODIE

you have to beg him to take his nasty crusty gloves off before you even open the bag of marshmallows- for both your sakes... you love him, really you do, but you cant stomach the idea of him touching the same food youre going to eat with said gloves

doesnt much care for smores actually, he thinks theyre too messy... it gets absolutely everywhere and he isnt too fond of the feeling of his mask sticking to his face where he missed some spots

it also doesnt help that he doesnt fully take off his mask, only lifting it up enough to eat the damn thing... he wouldnt have to worry about it if he just took the entire thing off... but oh well

likes the marshmallow moderately roasted- far from burnt, but toasted enough that its softened

would prefer a different treat next time

TICCI TOBY

you know what? blasting him with the beam of "has never tried a smore before in his life because the author has never gotten to try one"

burns his marshmallow but he prefers it that way, both texturally and flavor wise, you may think him insane for roasting it until the outside looks like coal but it brings him joy!

doesnt mind the mess it makes, if he gets some of the melted marshmallow on his hands he might wave it in your face and pretend hes about to touch you

very passionate debate on whether or not the chocolate goes under or above the marshmallow- he thinks it tastes better above but most people do it under.. he swears it tastes better this way! just try it!

you know how some people will take those cracker/meat/cheese lunchables and make a giant stack? he does that with the smore and its as messy and horrific as it sounds

[dangantums]

It's Okay To Be Human

this isnt a request but it was b.yakuya's birthday the other day, and y'all know i had to write something for him,,,

this fic contains: burps, hiccups, bloating, stuffed belly, SFW content.

ship: n.aegami

TLDR: b.yakuya, who normally doesn't eat fast-food, forgot his lunch at home.

Byakuya tapped his pen against his perfectly-polished mahogany desk, a scowl etched onto his face. Lunchtime had arrived at Togami Corp, and his stomach rumbled in protest. Usually, a perfectly portioned bento box, meticulously prepared by his personal chef, awaited him. Today, however, a misplaced cufflink had stolen precious minutes from his morning routine. The bento box remained on the counter at home.

Grumbling under his breath, Byakuya grabbed his wallet and walked out of his office. As he walked, he pulled out his cellphone and sent a quick text to Makoto Naegi, his boyfriend and employee whom he usually spent his lunch break with in his office:

“I am going to pick up food at the fast food restaurant across the street. We will not have much time to eat. I forgot my lunch.”

Byakuya headed down the stairs. His phone buzzed in his hand, so he looked at the message that appeared on screen.

“REALLY? the one with the huge burgers? lol good luck! get me something 2 :P big beefy burger w cheese and a side of onion rings plzzz, ill meet you in ur office”

Byakuya sighed theatrically as he typed a response:

“If I contract some sort of food-borne illness, I'm holding you personally responsible."

Sooner rather than later, Byakuya found himself standing in front of the fast-food joint. The neon glow of "Big Beefy Burger" cast an unusual orange hue on Byakuya’s face. He wrinkled his nose, the air thick with the scent of sizzling grease. "Does this establishment adhere to even the most basic standards of hygiene?" he drawled to himself, his voice laced with disdain as he reached for the door. 

He strode into the bustling fast food restaurant with a mix of curiosity and anxiety. It was a far cry from the homemade foods that his personal chef made or elegant dining experiences he was accustomed to. He failed to see the appeal of consuming such greasy and unhealthy food, but Makoto seemed to love this stuff. With a resigned sigh, Byakuya placed his order, opting for a burger combo much to his own dismay, and Makoto’s order.

And soon, he found himself heading back to his office. The aroma that hit Makoto when Byakuya swung open his office door wasn't the usual sterile scent of expensive cologne. It was a heady, greasy symphony of salty onion and questionable burgers. Byakuya held out the greasy bag with a look that read ‘get this away from me, or I might die’. Makoto laughed at the other’s expression, taking the greasy bag from his hands.

“Thanks, ‘kuya,” he chirped. Makoto took the contents out of the bag and placed them on his desk: two double-patty "Big Beefy Burgers" with a side of onion rings that could feed a small village. Byakuya stared at it, his usual composure cracking slightly. 

"Makoto, are you certain these…portions…  are meant for one person?"

Makoto chuckled. “Yes. If you can’t eat it all, save it or throw it away.”

Byakuya paused before letting out a snort. Throwing away food is like throwing away money. And besides, a Togami never backed down from a challenge. The blonde maneuvered to his leather office chair after pulling up a chair for his lover. And once he sat down, the pair unwrapped their burgers. Icy blue eyes flickered over to look at Makoto, who was already digging into his burger like he hadn’t eaten in months. So, Byakuya picked up his own burger.

“This is barbaric,” he murmured to himself, hesitantly taking a bite. The first bite was...surprising. The juicy patties, the melted cheese, the soft bun – it was an explosion of flavor Byakuya hadn't anticipated. He found himself taking bite after bite, a blush creeping up his neck as he realized he was actually enjoying it.

Perhaps a little too much.

It became a pattern: chew, swallow, repeat. Byakuya was starving, and he too found himself eating like he hadn’t eaten anything in months; he was barbaric. He, lost in the moment, ignored the growing tightness in his stomach. It wasn't until the last greasy onion ring that a monumental burp accidentally escaped his lips, a sound so unlike his usual refined demeanor that it made Makoto snort.

"Was that a burp?" Makoto asked sarcastically, trying to suppress a laugh.

Byakuya cleared his throat, his pride wounded. "S-Silence.”

Makoto couldn't help but chuckle, finding Byakuya's rare display of vulnerability endearing. "You don't have to hide it, Byakuya. It’s okay to… be human.”

Byakuya remained silent. His discomfort only grew worse as seconds passed, his stomach protesting against the heavy food he had consumed. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat, trying to hide his distress from Makoto, but it was clear that his boyfriend was onto him.

“You don’t look so good,” Makoto said with a frown. “Are you okay?”

“Fine,” the blonde mumbled, another smaller burp following.  “Just fine…” 

“Maybe you should drink some water,” Makoto offered, looking at his bag on the floor with his water bottle in it. The shorter male quickly fetched it, bringing it to Byakuya’s desk. "Here, take small sips.”

Byakuya took a sip, his throat constricting with a loud hiccup. He flushed again, muttering an apology. Makoto simply smiled. "Don't worry. You're cute even when you're a hiccuping mess."

Somehow, he turned even more red, his cheeks burning. Makoto lightly patted his back, forcing another bassy belch from the heirs mouth before he could catch it, punctuating his discomfort. Makoto didn't laugh this time. Instead, he rubbed Byakuya's back soothingly before saying, “Aww, I’m sorry, ‘kuya…”

Byakuya couldn't help but feel grateful for Makoto's unwavering support, even in the face of his most embarrassing moments. And, despite his predicament, couldn't help but feel a flicker of warmth at Makoto's attentiveness.

[crusty]

My friend just showed me Dan Vs for the first time and I was like "i can finally have context for crustys pfp haha" (gets to the new mexico episode where the fliers kinda give a hussies other comics vibe) "haha omg actually tho Dan does kinda Karkat" (at this point I had misremembered what your pfp actually really was). Just now saw you at the top of the dash and audibly gasped.... wrow.... nature is so beautiful

UYWERYUWETAOWN YESSSSSSSS I JUST LIKE HIM SO MUCH HES SO DUMB. THEY are like brothers from another mother to me... im so glad youve seen it XD dan is my little cheese......😔😔😔😔

you cannot convice me this isnt the same breed of man that karkat is

[mybelovedvampire]

Accidently started ranting about some stuff i have issues with in fandom and the media a lil:

Ate a whole pumpkin shaped pizza and binged the featstreet series!! Oml it was soo gooood!! It just got better with each movie. Also lesbian main couple in a big franchise where it doesnt scream it in your phase, complex character writing, relationship??? HELL YEAHH!!! You dont get that!! Im so spoo fucking happy about that man. There isnt much lesbian media for live movies especially where there's "the other guy" that's important for some reasom. I loverddd them!! I dont get how ppl hate deena tbh though. I really loved her character and the complexity of it.

I feel like its one of those if she was a guy then she wouldn't be getting all this hate since ppl hate complex written women (mostly men cause yeah ofc men). I wish we had more sapphic live media, i feel like sapphic based relationship are not valied much even though they actually helped the lgbt+ community so soo fucking much if you look back on history. They built it tbh. Yet they get so subtly pushed away in modern day because its a women/women relationship that doesnt have men as the big focus tbh. Theyre always trying to rewrite what "lesbian" means so it can have the word man in it or include men somehow even though it isnt that at all.

Lesbian and well sapphic relationships in general are always undervalued, pushed under the rug, by the media and community then they put men/mem relationship on a pedestal. They give it all this attention nonstop compared to sapphic relationship. Its kinda hurtful tbh. Sapphic relationship are never taken seriously cause "women" or whatever fuck else. Even in fandom spaces where it's supposed to be free to, theyre pushed down and undervalued in turn for the mlm ships. Women in general are as theyre fucked over nonstop cause how dare this bitch be in the way of my gay mam ship? It honestly males me feel sad.

It's such a big problem especially when it comes to the girls who fetishize mlm relationships. I honestly used to be one as a teen then got more into feminism and the lgbt+ then realized why exactly. There's already a video essay on it (not by me) who did it all, search it up. I am glad sapphic relationship and lesbians in general are getting more recognization though.

Also my pizza tasted like plastic.. Would get again though cause mmmm plastic cheese!! Got at Aldi's.