#there is some comedy to it. like this guy doesnt know what else to do. nothing has worked. so what's the next step?

[tomwaterbabies]

genuinely obsessed with this scene. Romeo KingOfPuppets spends the whole game up until this point desperately trying to communicate with you- all of it amounting to countless failed attempts. every messenger cut down. every word indecipherable to pinocchio who only hears, at the time, garbled nonsense. by the time you arive to strike down the king of puppets he has one final attempt which takes the form of a puppet show. like that's what his desperate final attempt looks like. incredible

[bmpmp3]

and you will listen to my halfway unmixed vocal synth covers. you will. my final message (dies in your arms)

all the virvox guys in voicevox humming! yume no tobira piano ver vsqx by leah ocarina and the instrumental is by 友紀!

[moonferry]

what type of movies the sdv marriage candidates would watch:

so this is just for funsies, but i decided to brainstorm what types of movies/shows all 12 marriage candidates would watch. there will be a mini-drabble assigned to each one, as a treat. sorry i got a little carried away with some of these. i hope you guys enjoy <3

bachelors:

harvey: he loves romcoms. there is literally no denying it.

i picture him on the farmhouse couch, wrapped in his favorite blanket with a mountain of tissues next to him. you walk in and take "your spot" next to him (which is basically as close to him as humanly possible, your head resting on his shoulder). he leans into your body to acknowledge you're there, but he's too invested in his movie. DEFINITELY a movie crier. "why can't she see that he's the perfect guy for her!!!" absolutely inconsolable during the parts where the love interests are fighting, but then when they finally get together he's like "i knew it!!!" harvey would have a variety of snacks, though most of them are things like apple slices with peanut butter and some assorted nuts. happy to share his opinions about the movie and even ask your input on the love interest(s). for example, if the main love interest has a current partner who is definitely not right for them, he'd be like, "so, you see that persons TOTALLY the wrong one for them, right?" he'd also "take notes" and use what hes learned from these movies to plan romantic dates for the two of you.

elliott: let's all be honest here. he also loves romcoms.

he and harvey have a "book-club" style meeting where they watch a movie and discuss it over tea/coffee. of course, he'd invite you, too. being the romantic - and writer - he is, he spends the entire movie critiquing things and going "oh, well, if i wrote it i'd do it this way-" you love him, even if he does talk over the movie. i also think he'd be the one to bring the most AMAZING array of snacks to a movie night - like full on 3 course meal with dessert. a bit overkill, but what else would you expect? elliott probably gets too invested in the storylines and - if its an ending he doesnt like - will write his "own version" with tweaks. yes, elliott is a part of fandom, sue me! he'd definitely show you the finished script and ask for your input. who knows? maybe elliott will direct his own movie one day - with you as the star, of course.

alex: if you guessed sports movies and gridball games... you'd be completely wrong. i think alex enjoys animated movies - it doesn't really matter the genre. alternatively, i also think he would enjoy westerns.

here me out: everyone always assumes he's like.. sport obsessed, and he is, but thats SOOO boring. i think he does enjoy watching sports, yes, but his favorite movie type is animated. im talking studio ghibli animation. he loves howl's moving castle and makes you watch it with him several times a week. honestly, you aren't entirely sure he doesn't have a crush on christian bale, but like, who could blame him? now for the westerns. from my own personal experience of visiting my grandparents, they watch westerns exclusively. i think living with george and evelyn would have introduced him to the western cowboy film genre and he would have instantly loved it. it's mainly a nostalgia thing - when alex was younger, he'd always sit on george's lap and watch the western movies with his grandfather. evelyn would be making cookies in the kitchen and then bring kid alex a heaping portion. whenever he watches a western now, he feels warm and safe. it reminds him of his childhood. of home.

shane: action comedy

i don't really think this would needs much explanation.. shane just enjoys a good action comedy movie. i think he'd laugh way too loudly. personally, i think he enjoys animated action comedies much more than live action ones (though he'll still watch those). i think his favorite would be kung fu panda, just because he sees himself as po in a way. i think he would supply ample snacks - though most so unhealthy and sugary that they'll make your teeth fall out. he's definitely the type to fall asleep during a movie, cheesy dust coating his fingers and his hands still in the bowl you two were sharing. you just shake your head and place a blanket over him. maybe you even fall asleep, too. that's all fun and games until you somehow knock the bowl off in your sleep and cheese balls spill all over your carpet flooring. oops. it's okay tho! 5 second rule. i also think shane is the type to walk into a room where a movie is playing while he was doing something (ie bringing you something, cleaning, etc), stand at the edge of the room with his arms crossed like he's "not interested", and spend 20 minutes watching before finally sitting down next to you.

sam: thriller movies

oh, sam. sammy sam samson. he's another tough one. theres so many good genres that i think he'd like, so hes sort of a chameleon. he's open to watch any and everything, but he LOVES thriller movies. more specifically, dystopian future thriller movies. he loves anything that's exciting. sorry sam fans, but i think he'd be the type to watch movies EXCLUSIVELY on his busted android phone. he'd also laugh loudly at parts and rewind to show you, but it's not like you can see through all the cracks so you're just like "oh, that's hilarious". sam loves sending you youtube compilations of "funny movie clips" and will be like "yoo, did you see that clip i sent you?" even though sam will watch anything, i think he absolutely despises war movies. even though he knows its just a movie, he can't help himself from imagining his father in that situation. war movies are a definite DO NOT WATCH for him. i think he would buy an entire large pizza for the two of you to share but.. im sorry, but you do NOT get any pizza. boy just eats the whole thing in 2 bites.

sebastian: historical movies

controversial, i know. but i feel like sebastian would love historical movies. growing up with demetrius as a step-father, sebastian always loved learning new things. historical movies allow him to continue to learn new things. now, i don't mean that he loves documentaries, i mean he loves historical FICTION movies. specifically, pirate movies. sebastian definitely is a laptop-only movie watcher. it doesn't matter if the tv is three feet from him, he will not watch something unless its on his laptop. i imagine him sitting on your shared bed, leaning back against the headboard with the laptop on his legs. he'd absolutely lose his mind if you joined him - even letting you hold the laptop, if you want. i think he would melt if you laid your head down on his chest and asked him questions about what he was watching - which he'd be happy to answer. he would definitely start playing with your hair if he seemed to be getting bored of his movie, or maybe he'd just do it without realizing.

bachelorettes:

emily: musicals!!

again, no real explanation needed. girlie loves to sing along - maybe even dance along - to the musical numbers. i think she is a musical theatre fanatic, though she really loves movie musicals. because broadway tickets are like so expensive, she prefers to stay home and watch them with you. she knows all the lyrics and has definitely watched them multiple times. during her favorite numbers, she'd pull you up from the couch and convince you to dance with her. you'd be having the time of your life - even if you didn't really know the lyrics. if you did, the two of you would be singing (well, screaming, really) along to every word.

leah: this one was a bit tough, but i think leah would like fantasy movies.

i really think she would enjoy the movie scenery more than the actual plot, though. like the beauty of the nature, you know? you two would be watching a movie where someone is going on a big, exciting quest and leah would be like "oh, gosh, look at those trees. the coloring is just spectacular." you don't mind, though, because she's right: these fantasy worlds always look so breath-takingly beautiful and it's hard not be captivated by them. i think she'd prefer the artistic aspect to the movies, especially if it's an animated fantasy movie. if it was animated, she'd be absolutely speechless and just in awe of how the animators drew something/someone. what she doesn't realize, though, is that you're looking at her the way she looks at the movie. she just looks so breath-taking and you can't help but smile every time she makes a comment about it. "this movie is so gorgeous" and you would think "but not as gorgeous as you."

maru: mysteries!!!

specifically murder mysteries or whodunit's. while she does love scientific documentaries as well, she also enjoys a good mystery movie. and when she watches them, she gets INVESTED. im talking making her own predictions and even asking you who you think the killer is. of course, she's always right. maybe she has some sort of "detective intuition"? you think it's adorable how she clings to your arm and rambles about her guesses. "how could you think it was THAT person? it's obviously this one!" can and will provide evidence on how she's right. makes you think and really dive deep into the movies. it's fun to watch them with her because it lets you view things in a different light than normal.

abigail: i think abby loves comedies.

yeah, everyone thinks she would like horror movies - and she does - but her favorite? comedies all the way. she loves a good laugh. the two of you have a movie theater date, making sure to get the extra large popcorn to share (but you wouldn't be mad if abby ate it all, since she usually does. but she looks cute with her face full of popcorn.) she laughs super loud and everyone else in the theater is .. glaring at you two. i think she would also have "full body" laugh reactions like she would smack the seat, smack her legs, just anything. she's having a good time tho. by the end of the date she is completely covered in popcorn (yes, it even managed to get in her hair, somehow) and you spend a few minutes picking each piece out.

haley: honestly? i think she enjoys horror movies. not because she's overly interested in the horror aspect, but because it gets her closer to you.

she would invite you over for a movie. of course, she would probably be scared out of her mind (or not, depending on the severity of the movie). regardless of if she was actually scared or not, i think she'd still find a reason to cuddle up next to you "for comfort" or "because she was scared". you don't mind, though, and you're happy to have her feel safe in your arms. eventually, she'd just stop trying to watch the movie all together and just cuddle up next to you.

penny: i think she would like dramas or melodramas.

penny, being calm and quiet herself, probably likes these genres of movies because she doesn't express very strong emotions herself. not that she doesn't feel them, she does!, she's just very soft spoken and doesn't like to speak her mind for fear of upsetting someone. when she watches these movies, she can relate to the characters and their experiences. it makes her feel.. calmer? in a way. i think she is the type to watch movies while in pajamas, probably before bed or at a sleep over type setting. she will defend her movie choices (not that you'd insult them, anyway). i also think she would be the type to bring "easy" snacks - peanuts and saltine crackers are her best friends. penny seems like the type to have a movie on in the background while doing something else (cleaning, trying new recipes, etc). if you two had a sleepover, she would definitely try to get you interested in her movie choice and list any possible actors you may know. even if it wasn't really "your thing", you'd still watch the movie because it makes penny happy.

[ratatatastic]

"Is [Barkov] a normal dude? Meaning like—is he just like, you're having a cheeseburger some day and he's like 'Oh, no, no, no! I need this, I need the superfoods,' like is he kind-of... is he a normal guy?" "'Is that Wagyu or no?'" "'I need, you know, the best of the best,' Like how is he?" "He's undercover really funny, especially when you get to know him. I don't think he said much for the first 3 to 5 years. But I always joke with him I've never been invited to his house and we've played together for 10 years." "Dude, Brandon Montour said the same thing! We had him on last year! He's like, 'Dude, he's never had us over! We're always like—' But he doesn't live by all you guys, right? He kind-of lives a little further out?" "Yeah, he lives 20-30 minutes away in Boca [Raton.] But, yeah, no I—Listen, it's just his personality. It's who he is, and we respect him for it. Like I said, he's a really funny guy when you get to know him, and sometimes he's got those one-liners. And, you know, he's one of those perfect humans, right? You know, one of the guys we all strive to be, and we'll all come short forever, but—yeah, he's a good person."

The Cam & Strick Podcast | 7.30.24 (x)

i hope this bit never ends if not for the fact that each time ekky has to say it he has to add another year to it which adds to the comedy of it all

"Hey, who's got the best setup on your team with the Panthers? When all the boys get together, 'We're going to your crib. We're gettin' on the jet skis,' whatever. Who's got the best setup?" "Yeah, um—Aaron [Ekblad]'s probably...I mean, Aaron's been there the longest. Hopefully, Barkov hears this! He's been there the longest, but he never invites the boys over to his house!" "Oh~ Barky!" "Is he cheap?" "I'm gonna call Barky out right now, and see if he can invite the whole team over next year..." "Is he cheap? Is he cheap? What is it?" "Will he do it?" "Oh, he's up in 9 East—obviously, like quiet, unbelievable guy, but he's the only up in Boca [Raton.] So I don't know if anybody wants to even drive up to Boca..." "Oh, Fancyland Zone..." "What do you mean? How far is that away from where you are? Like, and everybody else?" "Yeah, we're all in Ft. Lauderdale, Las Olas—within probably... you know some families are in Parkland by the arena, but we're all within probably 10 minutes away and he's up 30, 40 minutes away so."

The Cam & Strick Podcast | 7.25.23 (x)

the boys ribbing sasha for living so far away and never inviting them to his house but still going btw hes amazing and incredible and perfect and sososo good we say this to tease him but like this is just who he is as a person and we accept that so please dont misconstrue this into something its not this is a joke and we dont take it to heart

and on that topic its really a shame that NA media doesnt know how fucking funny and how absolutely unserious he can be. I understand the notion of diligent no-nonsense captain is a prevalent idea (which he is lets make that clear he takes hockey so seriously) but especially since this season hes said hes cut down on weight so he could skate faster (and the results show) so i understand where the questions are coming from knowing the track record but also

we've won a cup and hes ramped it up its fantastic and this is one of my favourite examples of it of how quippy he can be

happy to talk about my cappy!!! happy to tease my cappy!!!

"and you know hes one of those perfect humans right? you know one of the guys we all strive to be, and we'll all come short forever but yeah he's a good person" do you also cry about how terribly fond and sincere ekky gets about sasha

[tomeebear04]

alot of people portray tord as some insane sociopath who doesn’t care about anyone and its particularly heightened in wtfuture content,that being said i personally dont mind these headcanons when i was younger i was totally in favor of tord being a villain but whats your opinion on it? From what ive seen red leader is especially abusive to future tom but i always thought the cast was pretty mean to eachother in the earlier eddisodes but just grew out of it,tord left before the rest of them stopped being so mean to eachother,now its more or less poking fun and annoying eachother here and there

do you think tord just didn’t get the memo and thought it was still okay to act like this? Im all for ‘edgier’ headcanons and story telling but i just personally think to an extent tord isn’t as much as an asshole as people try to make him out to be,at some point the cast have tried to kill eachother and tom literally did what he did in zanta claws (which i forgive him for <33) but i see alot more people give tord more flack than anyone,srry ab the long winded question but i am curious ab your answer ^^

this is a multi-part question so im going to number them to make it more readable lol. also dw about long asks; i like em. lover having conversations about the show with other people

the tord villain question. ah the thing that divides the eddsworld fandom to this day. my opinion on this is a little nuanced. i personally like that direction for his character. i think it's interesting. it recontextualizes a lot of his strange behaviors from earlier episodes. fan interpretation of the actual content of the end episodes have led to a lot of people hating that idea though. i can see why too. i'm not a fan on how people decided to portray tord afterwards. i don't think he was a nice or pleasant person from day one, but i definitely don't think he's a sociopath or psychopath or insane. well not any more insane than everyone else. there's a lot more going on with tord psychologically. he has shown to care about people to an extent. i definitely think he has some kind of personality disorder. i've seen fans discuss schizoid personality disorder and borderline personality disorder in regards to a diagnosis for tord. i don't know enough on the subject to comment either way. imo a good tord wouldn't lose any of the fun aspects of his personality to fit better into any given villain trope. trying to fit square peg in a circle hole, ya know?

tom abuse. this one im a hard no on. i dont know why this got so popular. tord and tom are rivals. making tord an abuser and tom his victim just seems wrong for their dynamic. a lot of that content is fetish driven...and well.. im not touching that topic with a 10 ft shit and piss covered pole. if you're gonna make tord terrible to tom, you have to make tom just as terrible back. they both get under each others skin. i prefer the idea that tord and tom are more friendly in wtfuture since edd is out of the picture. i mean tord has to like him enough to employ him. tom likes him enough to be able to borrow a time machine without much trouble. those are two emotional unstable buddies right there

everyone kinda sucks. this is just straight up true. everyone was out for blood early on in eddsworld. i mean just look at matt. that guy was straight up a menace. yeah the show changed a lot. the tone and the way characters treat each other softened. the tomee bear has a pretty good video on this. i don't disagree with much of what he says. it added a new way to view the end episodes which i greatly appreciate. i could see this being the direction they go for tord in canon

everyone elses crimes. when it comes to talking about the other characters crimes i'd say dont take it seriously if the show doesnt. tom's christmas demolition wasnt taken seriously at all as an act of domestic terrorism. it's a joke about tom's character taken to the extreme for comedy. most things they do are consequence-less. basically, only take it seriously when the show does. tord blowing up the house, killing jon, and betraying everyone was tonally a lot different from tom rapping about hating christmas and nuking bongland. that's the reason why people hate on tord for what he did a bit more. personally i hate tord for being an annoying gooner with confusing politics. but u know to each their own

[the-s1lly-corner]

could I um.. request the whole alphabet with gangle.. take your time :))

The fluff alphabet w/ Gangle (Full!)

so sorry it took me so long to get to this! i got back to my computer just now and decided to whip up a masterlist/begin one before working on requests again! i must admit gangle is a hard character for me to write, so if some letters seem lackluster, sound repetitive, or whatever, i apologize in advance </3

ABSTRACT- if you ever abstract gangle will be absolutely beside herself, overcome with grief. i dont think she would abstract, though. she keeps to her room, her comedy mask long forgotten. broken or not, she cant bring herself to put it on. she feels bad, why didnt you reach out to her? did you feel like you were a burden? did you think she wouldnt be enough to save you? thoughts like that eat her alive

BONDING- you two draw together, sometimes even making comics with each other! i saw a few posts where gangle loves to draw, and draws in an early 2000-2010s anime art style and i absolutely love that. you guys just do that, when you have the free time

CUDDLING- neither little nor big spoon, gangle is simply. ribbon. its like cuddling ribbon, there isnt much to be said in that regard. kinda cold but thats because ribbon doesnt really carry heat. wraps her body around you

DATES- drawing dates! similar to the bonding segment, but you guys make it a point to draw things for each other. you even get to bust out some paints. yipee! ends up in you two drawing each other. so many painted hearts

EMOTION- gangle is definitely the more emotional one between the two of you, especially if shes wearing her tragedy mask. not much to be said, gangle is a cry baby and i dont mean that in a bad way

FAMILY- should the two of you ever escape the digital world and find each other, you two would definitely get married! as for children, i honestly dont see gangle as the type to have kids, but thats just a me thing

GIFT- really nailing the art stuff deep, gangle draws things for you all the time. but i can also see them being into origami! they make you paper hearts and little critters, bows and crowns, things like that! gangle loves receiving gifts as well, unsure of what she would like, though

IN HOUSE ADVENTURE- the only reason she wouldnt spend all of her time with you on an adventure is if she gets paired up with someone in a group (ex. her sticking with kinger after jax put them together), since i feel she would be too scared to speak up about it, even if shes starting to gain more of a voice thanks to your influence

JEALOUSY- gangle doesnt really. get jealous. at least not in the "traditional" way, to be more accurate, she gets sad. i mean, she knows shes a crybaby, she knows shes frail, but she wouldnt want to make you feel bad that she feels bad. please give her a lot of reassurance :(

KISS- lets play my favorite game! admins favorite hc for characters with no normal mouth/lips! she gently doinks her mask against your face; careful not to hurt you and to not accidentally knock off her mask! loves giving you cheek kisses, loves receiving forehead kisses

LOVE LANGUAGE- gangle feels loves when you reassure her that you love her just as she is, as well as when you spend time with her. gangle shows her love by making you gifts and fawning over you

MENDED- should you ever come back from being abstracted some how, all those thoughts that plagued her mind are now voiced. she cant help it, she feels so bad for dumping her grief onto you the second you're retrieved from the cellar. but she cant stop herself. poor girl is going to wrapped around you, literally..

NO- please dont be mean or rude to her she will feel very bad, even if you're just teasing her or joking. she already has to put up with everyone else (well, mostly jax)

ODDITY- when the comedy mask is on, she can light up a room, well, kinda. we dont get to see her with her comedy mask but i think shes loads more cheerful with it on, and perhaps even a smidge more confident in herself, when the mask is broken she can take a quick nose dive. its not so much thats it weird, more so that its a bit jarring at how big the change is

PDA- very shy about PDA, but i think ultimately if you want to hold her hand she wont object!

QUIET TIME- one word, drawing. but also i can see the two of you just being able to lie in bed with each other in comfortable silence

ROSES- PAPER ROSES PAPER ROSES! i may have a soft spot because i myself used to make origami flowers, but i think she would give you a bouquet of paper flowers. she would be over the moon if you gave her some, she looks like a dandelion enjoyer (like the yellow ones, but i think she would also like the white fuzzy ones)

SHH- loads of secrets, a lot of them tying into the jealousy segment. gangle probably also doesnt speak up about when someone is mean to her, opting to stay quiet in order to not cause issues or drama. please help her break that habit

TUNES- it might be because ive been listening to jack on loop, but this is the first one that comes to mind:

UPSET- when she gets upset she just wants to be comforted and held; when you're upset shes ready to do everything it takes to help you, just say the word and she'll do it... the image of gangle confronting someone for your sake has just flashed through my mind, though i think that may be the one thing she wont do... would love to see it though

VALENTINE- paper hearts. you two decide to go to the digital carnival together and experience some of the themed attractions... namely, the ferris wheel.... should i bring up everyones favorite ferris wheel trope...

WANT- she wants someone who wont think shes some. weirdo. and who thinks shes worthwhile

XOXO- little love notes, similar to my idea for ragatha! though gangle is more... eh, about it, since she fears you might be turned off by it

YEARN- id say in the middle, since she can respect your space and whatever it is you need to do, and she has to admit herself there are times where she wants to hang out with someone else or be alone; and thats perfectly okay!

ZZZ- likes wrapping her entire body around you, head to your chest. she doesnt really move when she sleeps, too entangled around you to do that. probably snores very softly

[ultra-raging-ghost]

Idea for a little Cucuhalo fic/au. Ok hear me out:

Roommates/Office au

So, I haven't fully fleshed out the details yet, but Cucurucho as a rich boss that owns some kind of company and Bad is an employee that just moved from somewhere and started working in his company not too long ago. They try to get along... well enough in the office, albeit there's some tension and passive aggression between them.

Their co-workers love to gossip about them because it looks like there's something going on between the two, but it's all speculation for them. What they don't know is Bad and Cucurucho are actually secretly roommates, and they "hate" each other even more outside of the office.

Cucurucho has a cat that Bad wasn't initially fond of named Emotional Support (they're actually raising that cat like it's their baby lols) because Bad is more a dog person, but Cucurucho insisted on getting a cat as a pet. That's only one of their roommate quarrels. Most of the time they are extremely passive aggressive, and do things like, idk, not washing the other person's dishes lmao.

Despite how much they claim to hate each other, neither want to leave because "it's easier to share rent" or "no one would take care of Emotional Support when the other person is busy", some kind of excuse like that. But really, it's because they do enjoy having each other around, and sometimes, they have nice dinners and movie nights together. Then they fall asleep on their couch and wake up entangled, but neither wants to admit they were literally cuddling the night before. They are so attached to each other, but no one wants to say it out loud.

Basically this au is me wanting Cucuhalo office and roommate drama with a dash of sexual tension and long-term denial, romantic comedy sitcom style.

- alchemicaladarna

WAITTTT REAL

I love them living together and making up excuses to do so....

"Its expensive to live alone" "Emotional support is already so attached to him itd be mean to take her away from him" "We bought the furniture in a way that would make it weird for us to move out" (bad bought both the beds, or the one bed hayoooo, cucurucho bought like 20% of the spices and condiments, they dont feel like splitting up the furniture is what im getting at) "Theres no available housing in any areas id want to live in" etc. etc. any excuse to stay together even though to everyone else it seems like theyre at eachothers throats all the time!!

I think the way the workers would find out is a couple of them getting invited over. Like after a night out, one of them cant find a ride home so bad (resident guy who doesnt drink) offers to let them sleep on his couch for the night, and the next morning they wake up to arguing. They sit up on the couch and over the back of it who should they see in the kitchen together but CUCURUCHO and BADBOYHALO who are arguing because bad didnt ask before inviting said coworker over!! They kiss and make up (either metaphorically or literally) and cucurucho lets it go for now and sneaks off back to his (possibly their) room so he isnt caught and has bad send the coworker out as soon as they wake up. The coworker doesnt say anything about seeing cucurucho right then... but later on cucurucho and bad hear a lot of whispering that gets suddenly quiet when they walk by, and then it continues when they walk past.... more so than usual!!! And they dont think too much of it, but then someone comes up to bad's desk one day or approaches him in the hallway or by the water cooler and goes "so.. you and cucurucho, huh??"

(and then they realize bad's not the one to approach because hes very aloof and wouldnt pick up on the implications that the coworker would be dropping.. but theyre too afraid to go ask cucurucho about it for fear of getting chainsaw'd LMAO)

SHOUT OUT TO THE "ONLY ONE BED" TROPE, WE COULD DO SO MUCH WITH IT!!!

[alias-mike]

i let the autism win

(i am going to tell you about compelling cytus 2 straight relationships) (my headcanons might get mixed in because its been 2 years since i read the lore and i dont feel like reading the 1000+ page transcription rn)

ALSO SPOILER WARNING FOR THE CYTUS 2 STORY

OK STARTING OFF WITH MY FAVOURITE ONE. CONNER X SASHA

incredibly egotistical guy (conner) who thinks hes better than everyone else meets his match in an academic setting but cant talk to her (sasha) because she graduates early and leaves. therefore he does the perfectly normal thing of stealing identity information of a bunch of random citizens from the government to sell on the black market bc sasha is also there as a mole for the police. he acts super incompetent to make her feel bad and help him sell the information for the best price and they end up forming a partnership for a while. their final job goes wrong as the police busts in and doesnt believe sasha when she says shes also part of the police bc her captain deleted her civilian identity file as part of the mission and that guy died in the raid so shes cooked. conner saves her at the last second and, dropping the act, tells her that he saved a copy of her civilian file and will be driving her to the nearest city and she can choose what she wants to do from there. shes super mad at him for decieving her but is grateful for the out that hes given her and leaves for the city with no internet to start fresh, assuming they would never see each other again. fast forward to the Plot and conner seeks her out again for help on some stuff and their modern dynamic is conner going "youre so cool and awesome haha...... we were such a good team back in the day....... you should run away with me" and sasha is like "no." its completely played for comedy (in my understanding) since the writing makes it clear that sasha has put her old life behind and only humours conner because hes an old friend (its been several years since the deception thing so i would assume she made peace with it and came to the conclusion that overall conner is chill) but she has a life of her own now. meanwhile shes the closest thing conner has ever had to a friend because shes the only (alive) person he sees as an equal so even though he knows its futile, he tries to convince her to come with him anyway. they were never really together and will never be together, and thats what makes their relationship interesting.

next up........ cherry x xenon !

this one is fun bc they start the story as exes. they dated when they were younger but broke up for reasons i can only describe as "her dad killed his dad and that really puts a strain on a relationship yk". basically cherrys dad got involved with organized crime after her mom died and he lost his job and xenons dad is a cop who was investigating said organized crime so they got into a Conflict and cherrys dad ended up killing xenons dad and severely injuring his sister. cherry also never told xenon abt this during their relationship bc its a bit difficult to bring up the whole "my dad does crime and sometimes i do it too" to the guy whos dad is a cop. the way they find out what happened is a bit. well funny isnt the right word but basically xenon is like "MY DAD AND SISTER GOT SHOT" and cherry was like "OH NO THATS HORRIBLE" so they rush to the hospital to visit them and see a news report about the incident and the perpetrator getting arrested and cherrys like "oh..............." they got in a huge fight after that and justifiably break up but deep down they still love each other and just. havent talked about it for several years after that. later some Plot stuff happens, they kinda reconcile a little bit, and cherry ends up injured in a fight. they were chilling at a base with really good medical facilities tho so the boss was like "here stay in this Healing Tube for a while and youll be fine" but uh oh! the evil bad guys attack and turn off all of the power in the base, including cherrys life support, and they turn the power back on too late so she dies and xenon is completely devastated over it because they never properly reconciled (i think there was something like he never said "i love you"? but i will have to reread lore to confirm. huge angst moment if true tho). i think they have an interesting arc in its tragedy. is it kinda contrived? yeah. but i think its thematically appropriate for the relationship where the whole thing is that something always went unsaid (first the crime thing, then how they actually still liked each other) ended with something unsaid, yk.

side note: theres even more tragedy to the situation considering the way they turned the power back on. ok basically theres a 12 year old girl named nora (shes the aforementioned boss) (shes a mafia boss) (its a long story) and she was experimented on as a baby and left to die to The Virus when the experiment failed but she survived and the scientists were like "holy crap can she be the key to a cure!?" so they took her back to the lab and raised her. shes disabled due to the initial experiments requiring her legs to be amputated and also happens to be mute but shes a genius so she built a robot to talk for her since she was stuck in her room all day (no one figured it was a good idea to give her mobility aids until several years down the line) (their idea of parenting was also like. playing chess with her once in a while). she also got into making edm songs for a while. later, she makes a robot known to the players as robo_head to be her bodyguard since they figure out that the virus gave her powers to see/hear through any camera or microphone connected to the internet and decide to use it for profit by touting her as an "oracle". now is a good time to mention that cytus 2 is a science.... fantasy? story where everyone has a brain chip to connect to the internet. anyways the more nora uses her powers the worse her eyesight gets and its also generally harmful to her health. robo_head is basically her only friend and she ends up having to send him off for reasons i wont get into rn and somewhere down the line he gains sentience and makes his way back to her. nora is enraged that he came back at first but after some persistence she lets him in and finds out about these developments, and is ultimately happy to have her friend back. when the power gets cut, robo_head knows that cherry needs help and volunteers to use himself as the power source which would essentially fry his circuits. nora refuses at first since she just got him back, but understands the importance of saving cherry so she ends up agreeing. unfortunately, its too late, so basically two people had to die for no reason ! (luckily nora ends up being able to fix robo_head after the end of the game but he was Gone for a while)

OK TANGENT OVER. BACK TO SHIPS. UHH sagar and rin are a thing

there was lore im pretty sure but i forgot so all i remember is that sagar is a pretty confident guy except when he has to talk to rin, in which cases he loses all of his skills ever and his dialogue mainly consists of "ummm uhm uhhh" and rin is also too nervous to notice how unskilled sagar is being. this is the only couple who gets a happy ending btw

honourable mention: whatever ilka(?) and rald had going on. classic nonhuman who is fascinated with humanity via one specific guy x guy who is unintentionally being very attractive. idk. i would tell you more about it but my dlcs are LOCKED and TAKEN AWAY from me 👎

there are also many gay ships but one of them is literally the plot of the game so it would make this post even longer if i started talking about them lmao

^said plot summarized in one image btw

OK THATS IT THANKS FOR READING!!!!

[springcatalyst]

NINE TO NINETEEN FOR MILO FOR THE OC QUESTIONS PLEASE MON DOUDOU!!!💗💘💗💘💘💞💘💗💘💗

YESS THANK YOU MEIN BELOVED! <3<3

ignore that this took like... weeks :^

9. Do they give tough love or gentle love most often? Which do they prefer to receive?

Milo is not a tough love kind of guy at ALLLLLL. He grew up in a really close-knit household and community; grandparents and parents and siblings and cousins and aunts and uncles and nieces and nephews and that's just his HOUSE. He is well accustomed to and comfortable with that kind of easy sweet caring for people that made him a very good caretaker of the little ones, and he learned it because he experienced it. 'Tough love' doesn't really make sense to him.

10. What fact do they excitedly tell everyone about at every opportunity?

I'm remembering now that I think I've rbbed this game before and got this one for Milo, and I think I said then that he would share the astronomical knowledge that he learns from his childhood friend Sumaya. She's big on it, he just likes the stories that come with the constellations, but they swap them back and forth until they're both well-versed in both fact and fiction. Going from student to teacher in that sense, then, lets him not only test what he retains from her, but share it with someone who otherwise might not know it, as she did with him. Especially after they've parted, though it's a bit more mournful, then.

11. If someone was impersonating them, what would friends / family ask or do to tell the difference?

Trick question! Milo spends all his time in his hometown doing an expert mix of hiding who he is and being as genuine as he can that it would be nearly impossible for anyone to tell the difference! Milo wears his heart on his sleeve which would make it incredibly easy for anyone who's watched him for a bit of time to impersonate him except for when he doesn't, at which time he conceals it so well nothing appears amiss! If you want an actual answer though, it would have to be a 'does the imposter lack memories' situation. Specific moments that Milo would remember, but nobody else would really know, that sort of thing. Sumaya could ask where they went in the mountains to stargaze, his grandmother could ask what she made for him on his 14th birthday, Reiji could ask where they met, Suna could ask what's the first conversation they had that didn't need a translator. That sort of thing. He's sentimental like that, he'd remember.

12. What’s something that makes them laugh every single time? Be specific!

Physical comedy. Part of the reason he's so good with kids is because he's got their sense of humor. In that same vein, he's easy to get with stuff just being unexpected. It's the one way he's genuinely a little childish, i cant think of a good example, but he would get a kick out of those old slapstick comedies, you understand.

13. When do they fake a smile? How often?

this is another that i remember answering before. that is, often. because friends and family know a milo that smiles easy and often, and so when he doesnt particularly feel like it, he must still do so- easy and often- to obviate anyone peeling back the layers.

14. How do they put out a candle?

This is probably supposed to be a more complex question but man, just blow it out. He's not some fancy bitch with those cap things and he's not cool enough to do the thing where u lick your fingers and pinch it out. Just blow out the flame, bro. easiest solution

15. What’s the most obvious difference between their behavior at home, at work, at school, with friends, and when they’re alone?

He holds a quieter sort of air when he's alone. It's allowed to fall when unwatched and when it does it often falls far. He simultaneously hates being alone and needs it desperately: he prefers company for... the company but also because it keeps him occupied. He's a man who doesn't enjoy being alone with his thoughts. But he also needs that, because it's the only time he's allowed to slip. It's a tricky push-pull that doesn't have an easy answer. Let me actually answer the question: around people, doesn't really matter who, he is brighter, cleaner, easier. This only gets messier when he's alone, or in very, very rare circumstances that he avoids at all costs.

16. What kinds of people do they have arguments with in their head?

inch resting. He's not the type to wish an argument, you know? He doesn't find a ton of vindication in like... tearing someone down like i think we do when we imagine arguments. The thing about milo is that he never feels wronged by others, he always has some 'oh well they MEAN well', and that's assuming he doesn't just think he's in the wrong. The things he believes in enough to argue about are never things he thinks about until they come up.

17. What do they notice first in the mirror versus what most people first notice looking at them?

teehee I've answered this one b4 too. he sees a mask slipping, a scar, exhaustion in a way sleep can't fix. others, though, they just see the smile he makes sure reaches his eyes.

18. Who do they love truly, 100% unconditionally (if anyone)?

God, everyone. I don't think he knows any other way. He loves people quickly and easily and once you get there it's stuck there forever. No amount of time apart or festering wounds will change that. Anything and everything is forgivable, because they're good people, really. He believes very completely in the inherent good of people, has only ever encountered very, very few that this belief wavers in.

19. What would they do if stuck in a room with the person they’ve been avoiding?

Ah. It would be a reluctant and yet long-awaited reunion. Truly he's avoided the whole town- but for succintness this could be either sumaya or his grandmother. the former, a longtime friend, they knew each other better than anyone, and something changed when the mask slipped. the latter, he looked up to all his life, learned from, grew with, and left before he could really see the consequences of his actions. so to be back with either one would be... the consequences, i guess. hes been missing them as long as he's been avoiding them :)

oc ask game

[s0lar-ch3ri]

out of context things for a fic im reading (its from my mutual, and i might update my unfinished oneshot for gill after...and do a big oneshot seperation lol)

fic link for people who havent read it yet GO DO THAT NOW EVEN IF YOUVE ALREADY READ IT REREAD IT AND COMPLIMENT IT THIS IS ALL ABOUT CHAPTER 5

im adding "This letter is filled with glitter. If you open it you will be too." in some way shape or form into my vocab its beautiful

i honestly thought that jay was gonna say gill and OH MY GOD THATD BE SO FUNNY AND KINDA ANGSTY IF DONE IN A CERTIAN WAY LOL

(honestly kinda a fic idea there: ava gets help from lizzie as they learn lizzies brother [chip] believes that gillion likes ava or smth. i wanna see the siblings helping their siblings come together)

...oh the heart refs are starting

"He did. She screamed." pure comedy imo

"He kind of liked that idea, he needed more mean girl friends (one can never have too many)." SCREAMING MUTUAL YOU KNOW THE LESBIANS SO WELL AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

...mutual. im not your mother father or parent i wanna put you in timeout AHHHH WHY THESE REFS

mutual. hey. you dont need to remind us. you can let us be happy.

i wonder what the title of the fic means btw

as someone who calls their friend pookie, MISS FERIN DIDNT FUCKING STUTTER

"Stress shouldn’t be real, it was stupid." PREACH!

OH MY GOD HE SAID THAT BEFORE THE KISS HES SO GAY YOUR HONOR GAY AS HELL

FUCK ME I CAN IMAGINE GILLS VOICE SAYING THAT HANG ON IF I DO AN OUT LOUD IMPRESSION...

fuck it is as riduclous as it appears

bro jay and ensa have had a "they/them pussy" moment together and i see it thats the fucking look on their faces good for them

OH. I SEE. GAY "SEX" THEN DEATH. FUCK

he found his kid got a bitch and was so shocked and happy he fucking died

"But then again, maybe he deserved it." chip babygirl you make no sense

wait chips 17 here. 2 years away from being 19. the canon age. oh nononononononono

hey. anybody else notice a pretty big character of chips past hasnt been brought up yet? like, fucking price. the guy thats believed to have mistreated chip. the guy who made chip kill a man. MUTUAL WHAT ARE YOU PLANNING.

okay so i have a theory. my mutual doesnt plan on giving chip a break, hes just lost his dad unknowingly how, hes currently 17, and price hasnt been mentioned ONCE. characters act pretty similar to canon, including how theyve been mistreated in a sense (seen by the elders). the title (You'll Forget (It's Not Your Fault)) doesnt seem any good.

my theory? following the canon idea that chip has been through so much he easily forgot about kenta and his nightmare shit, chips gonna be dealing with price, and i dont think its gonna be just for a couple months. price is behind arlins shit, and price gonna make chip think this shit is all his fault.

oh nvm checked tags REDO THEORY

minor character death probs means you know who if you read it i dont wanna say it cause big spioier uhhhh READ IT OKAY IM SAYING IT NOW arlin, but from the beginning its had memory loss (how i didnt notice this before is beyond me) so im thinking its caused by like bad shit that happens (price is going to fuck with him more and ill sob) and hes blaming himself for it cause he thinks all thats happening including the memory loss is because hes doing shit wrong

(from what i know, depression and shit can cause memory loss BUT im not sure ill be back with results tmr on this so until then REBLOGS OFF)

check my mutual out or ill llegally have to eat you (on tumblr @red-might-be-dead)

[gooopy]

GOOPY. if teddy was a horror movie antag what weapon/manner of death would he use to kill people..

I HAD TO THINK ON THIS FOR A WHILE!!!!!!! i think he would kill people in their homes with whatevers around the house. I think the movie would be someone following a string of murders, stuff like someone being nearly decapitated because a window was slammed over their neck over and over and over again. A cut across the neck (messy, inexperienced) from one of those shitty gift shop knives with the name in the side. Conked on the head by a cast iron pan that still had some bacon grease and potatoes in it (later theyd find that the pan wasnt used by the family before death, the killer was makin breakfast baby!!!!!!) And teddy would be a sorta conic relief character. Im imagining it a sorta horror-comedy, there needs to be some absurdism both for teddy to get away with being a goofy doofy side character and because i think thats whwre the guy would thrive. So you follow incompetent cops just wanting to close a case and failing to find anything useful and teddy bumbling in to talk about the murders, stepping all over crime scenes and gettin his grubby mitts all over evidence. And then at some point it goes through and explains what happened, and THATS the point you learn teddys the killer.

You see him sneaking through someones garden and the person sticks their head out the window to yell at him and he reaches in and slams the window against their neck over and over again in an awesome gory bloodfest, then see him go into the house to take a quick shower do a bit of laundry and then head back home (and when he bumbles into the place later hes sure to grab the empty bottle of hydrogen peroxide and stuff it into his shirt to sneak out)

You watch him creeping through someones house and snapping pictures of a vacation familys adventures when someone comes in and he thinks fast to grab the pocket knife on the table go sneak up and slit their throat and.. its not sharp enough. So he freaks out and jist saws at it like turkey dinner until the guys dead and later when hes 'just passing by!' He touches as much as he can so fingerprints dont mean anything.

I think he would like just chilling in other peoples houses and living their lives. He thinks its cozy! Nostly its just freaky. I think he would observe someone and see their cozy day in and want it for himself and he would recreate it. Bros wesring someone elses bathrobe (does NOT fit him) (this is awesome and sexy btw believe me im not describing it bc the worldwide boner it would cause would shift the earths axis) and hes cooking himself up an awesome breakfast and he knows the persons schedule by now so hes got his meal plated up by the time the guy walks through the door and BONK out like a light and shoved and contorted into a cabinet so teddy can have potatoes and bacon and eggs while sitting in the livingroom watchong tv. And he doesnt wven need to do dishes!

That was long and windong but ohhhhh it took me a while to figure it out oooooggghhhh and then i got distracyed bc teddy hot as fuck. THANK YOU SOSOSOSO MUCH FOR ASKING AUAAUAAGAGAHAHHAHAH GHAAGAHAH YAYYYYY

[thealmightyemprex]

Top 10 Arnold Schwarzenegger movie

Ah ,Arnold .As a kid with an action loving dad ,I grew up on a steady diet of his flicks .Some are legit great ,some are not ,but they are at least memorable

Also sorry Commando is not on here,cause I dont remember if I have seen all of it

10.Batman and Robin

Hey this is favorite list ,not best .I know this film has been trashed to High Heaven over 25 years .....But damn its got fun moments and one of them is the hilarious miscasting of Arnold as the films villain Mr Freeze .While I do maintain he is miscasted.....Arnold seems to be having fun .It is one of the only times I can think of where you get to see Arnold as a scene chewy villain ,and him hamming it up and making ice puns is kind of a joy to watch

9.Conan the Destroyer

So I wanna save my opponion on Conan the Barbarian for later ,I'll just say I like it a lot and that this films big flaw is it doesnt live up to that first film.....That said I love that this film does its own thing .THis film is basically a D&D campagn with a ragtag group of heroes : big tough barbarian ,a weasly thief ,a kooky wizard ,a badass warrior woman , a princess ,and a token evil teamate who is working for the big bad ,all on a quest where they fight wizards and monsters and so forth . Cast is fun with returning players Arnold and Mako being a ton of fun ,SArah Douglas is a great villain ,but the scene stealer is Grace Jones . Its not perfect but if your in the mood for a quest based fantasy film,this is a fun watch

8.Kindergarten Cop

....OK I might get some shit for not putting this higher ,so I just wanna say its a really good movie. It uses Arnold comedy gifts well ,big tough movie cop being a kindergarten teacher is a hilarious premise , and I like the darker aspects that offset the comedy ....So why dont I have it higher?Honestly its just not a film I seek out .EVery time I have watched it it was because it was on TV or someone else was watching it .I'm also not a comedy person in general and If I do its something either dark or absurd . Will say it is a great movie ,just not one I watch a bunch

7.Last Action Hero

Now this is a movie with a great premise that I wish it did more with ,a kid being sucked into a action movie .It sets up some idea that I wish it went all the way with .That said there are hilarious moment s (ARNOLD AS HAMLET ),a weirdly great cast (Anthony Quinn is in this thats amazing ) ,Arnolds great ,and I actually love the main villain played by Charles Dance ,who is set up as a henchmen before hijacking the main villain role

6.Jingle All The Way

OK let me explain -THis is a nostalgic Christmas movie for me ,and this is my fave Arnold comedy....Kind of BECAUSE it is so weird . You have ARNOLD ,this musclebound action man ,playing a put upon every man ,whose trying to get a toy for his kid and dealing with rageaholic reindeer ,battling a warehouse of con men Santas led by Jim Belushi ,while a lustful Phil Hartman is trying to seduce his wife and it climaxes with him becoming a superhero fighting a psychotic Mailman played by Sinbad .....This film is fucking INSANE .......I LOVE IT .I love the skeevy performance of the late great Phil Hartman and its such a weird mix of ingredients ,I dont know if its GOOD ,but I resally love this insane movie

5.Terminator

I do think this film has aged a bit,i ......But its still really good ,in fact I think that makes it unique. The film has a dingy handmade quality , like you can tell this is an unpolished not high budget film and that makes is so cool .It is also VERY 80's ..Linda Hammilton and Michael Biehn are great but the scene stealer is Arnold as the villain .ONE.OF .THe COOLEST .BAD GUYS .EVER .Arnold is weirdly perfect as a unstoppable killer robot ,and he is aided by the effects work of Stan Winston (I will bring him up a few times )

4,Total Recall

Now we get to the great movies in my oppinion . This film is both really interesting with its sci fi concept and questioning of what is real and what is a simulation .....But its also a fun action romp with one liners and Arnold kicking but galore .Also cant go wrong with Michael Ironside and Ronny Cox as your villains

3.Predator

OK these top 3 are so good I could make them a tie ,but I do have a preference.It starts off as a military action movie with big burly tough guys like Arnold,Bill Duke,Carl Weathers and Jesse Ventura doing macho tough guy things.....And then you realize this is a HORROR film ,and that these big tough action heroes are being hunted as prey by a very terrifying monster . I wish more movies did genre switches like this .It s also a rare Arnold isnt the focus,the real star is monster .I swear it people,The Predator is one of the most intimidating and terrifying villains in Sci Fi and I will give all credit to not only the effects work of Stan Winston but the amazing performance of the late Keven Peter Hall ,who makes possibly the best opponent Arnold has ever faced

2.Terminator 2 Judgement Day

So if I was going by best this might be number one cause.....I cant deny it,this is an action masterpiece .It does what a sequel should and it BUILDS on the first while also being its own film .I think it might be Arn9olds best performance ,the effects both practical and CG are groundbreaking ,the action is heartpounding ,Lind Hamilton is AMAZING and while the Predator is the best villain Arnold has faced ,the T100 is number 2 for me ,theis terrifying shapshifter is just relentless

1.Conan the Barbarian

That said this is my fave . If its sequel is a D&D campagn ......This is an epic poem .The action is grand ,the set design is grand , the MUSIC is one of the best film scores ever ,and the supporting cast includes legends like James Earl Jones,Mako and Max Von Sydow ,and it does all this while telling a timeless tale of revenge .I think ,while he has better performances down the line,this is the best use of Arnold and being one of my favorite fantasy films, I had to give it the top spot

What are your fave Arnold movies

@ariel-seagull-wings @goodanswerfoxmonster @angelixgutz @amalthea9 @the-blue-fairie @princesssarisa @filmcityworld1 @themousefromfantasyland

[goddamnwebcomics]

Lessee what we have for this batch...

- League of Super Redundant Heroes

Not sure if I suggested this one in the past about stupid superheroes (including a blind guy with bike handles on his head and laser eyes, an actual Mary Sue who's his girlfriend, a cowgirl who makes no sense, and a guy that levitate cats) but putting it up front just to cover that base

-Delta Dawn

A particularly infamous "superhero" comic that tries to be a social justice comic tackling racism and sexism while apparently unintentionally doing both those thing somehow? It's either that or intentionally being bad to prove it's point, but it doesnt have the self awareness to do it right? Apparently tries to have a protagonist and antagonist story run side by side too? You know it's bad when I see character names and I can't tell if it's being hyperbolic or if that's literally what the characters are called...

-Black Magic by SacredHyacinth

Magic teens in a future apocalyptic setting have magic jewelry to protect them as they live in a city that doesn't want them to have their jewelry for some reason? Things for the comics lore and worldbuilding just are half explained haphazardly as it goes on...

-My Alien Girlfriend (doesn't know I'm an alien)

Another webtoon comic. Comedy romance about two dating aliens in obvious disguise. Drawn rather poorly, lots of fanservice without going all the way to being porn, and very poor humor... literally the girlfriend looks like a clown character from another, and I believe actual porn, comic the author had a hand in.

-Parallax by m falke

Sort of a hybrid magical girl/superhero thing. A boy is given a little box that turns him into a ninja looking hero to fight monsters. Haven't read too much, but the art style is interesting looking at least.

- Bittersweet Candy Bowl by Veronica "taeshi" Vera

A furry teen drama comic about an angsty Mary Sue white cat named Lucy and love triangles upon triangles upon etc. So odd, cause some characters are fully dressed and some aren't, Lucy has like two bird pets, but they can talk? And oh so many perfect reaction images from the cat blobs.

- Black Jade by Steele Snover

Lesbian mad scientist villain makes a raygun that turns other women gay as well. She literally gets a girlfriend and from that point onward the comic has no idea what it wants to do with itself. The author notoriously asked for $1600 a month to keep this comic going I believe.

-Don't know if youd do written fanfic riffing at all, but One Piece: This Bites by Xomniac might be worth tearing into if you ever get around to doing that. It's basically a self insert fic involving a fan of One Piece who abuses his knowledge of the series like mad after a literal RNG God decides to matoon him in that world. It kinda tries to ground the anime in reality and to be more "hard core" by mauling the main character and torturing villains and such.

-...lets be honest here ANYTHING by Dave Cheung

Just. Wow. Dave Cheungs list of wretchedness is something frankly unbelievable from what I've heard there's sexism, snuff and a lack of holding back all wrapped up in a generic non-anime style... US Angel Core is the absolute worst in particular as it is just...disturbed, like seriously bottom of the barrel disgustingness as it kills characters and subjects them to heaps of abuse to the point i dont even reccomend you look into it, its that fucking disgusting. Literally anything else, this one isn't so much a recc as it is a warning...

Already on the rifflist

This sounds like an easy target so why not

The lady from Keeping Up Appearances made a webcomic? Oh this is trying to be ART and DEEP. I can tell it from the somewhat pretentious artstyle alone.

This thing is ridiciulously short, so I'm on the edge. Wait porn???

This might be too competent.

Ohhh no no no no no. Did you miss the submission page rules? The author's husband will kill anyone who criticises the comic

Oh, it's been a while since we've gotten some good old lesploitation.

I don't really riff written work unless it's done by one of our usual suspects or other webcomic makers

Ah, Cheung's work we're familiar with. U.S. Angel Corps is on the rifflist and I am very wary of riffing it, but I say Cheung deserves to be brutally riffed.

[ahiijny]

glass onion spoilers

ok this movie was fun, but it fell a bit short of expectations 😅 y'all hyped this up a bit too much (note: i did not watch the other knives out movie yet so maybe im missing out on some context)

I thought this was going to be this awesome keikaku murder mystery with this likeable queer and fruity detective guy where everyone rips down the curtain of lies set up by this tech billionaire and it is revealed mr. miles rich guy actually has no idea what he's doing and all of his accomplishments were stolen from other people

I guess we kinda get that in a sense, but I guess reality just outdid fiction this time if you know what I mean... so it wasnt nearly as satisfying

I guess that's kind of the point of this movie, as benoit himself points out: it looks complicated, but it's actually not. (and thats why he had so much trouble solving the mystery, bc hes not good at solving dumb puzzles, only clever ones lol) but that still doesnt make it satisfying.

anyway, my thoughts about the movie!

the masking and covid callbacks remember those ah memoriesssss (man)

ok but if this entire movie were about this scientist guy trying to do science engineering work while pushing back against unrealistic expectations from overzealous entrepreneurs/business ppl i would watch that...

i liked the part where the lady was like "you've got to stay off the twitter" to the other lady, this is relatable and realistic and a good message

puzzles are fun. i liked the peoples working together to solve the puzzles. if this entire movie were about a diverse group of friends solving puzzles in a collaborative way i would watch that...

shoutout to manosphere guy's mom she dont give af but she's hella clever, she's solving these puzzles and she doesn't even care lol

(also dude be more respectful to your mom. doesnt matter if ur streaming, ppl will understand if u have to take a brief interruption to answer to something. if they dont understand, u do not want them watching ur stream)

benoit amogus (this is probably pandering but i am the target audience so i will accept the pandering. if this entire movie were just benoit and his friends/colleagues playing among us i would watch that...)

the way the ppl all have their different attitudes towards masking strictness and runs the full gamut, that's just really interesting to analyze. i saw the tumblr post about this and i thought benoit was actually going to narrate these observations and it wouldve been really impressive 😅 I guess it's actually more subtle than that...

ok but what IS that spray. how does it work. i know u dont have to explain EVERYTHING in a story but the nerd in me wants to know pls pls pls (does it even work lol)

"piece of shit" hehehehe

benoit very charming and there was some awkward tension in the air bc everyone else is tightly knit and he's a newcomer but he talks through it easily enough so my feelings of social anxiety werent too bad in these scenes lol

everyone talking and socializing (ergh) and dropping various bits of information and im like 'i dont even remember their NAMES im definitely not gonna remember all these little factoids which are sure to be relevant later lol' (help)

the part where benoit is sneaking around and spying on ppl, i feel like maybe they could have leaned even more into the comedy here if they wanted to. like. they have manosphere guy spying on miles rich guy and other lady doing the sussy and he clenches his fists in anger but later it's revealed actualyl she is trying to persuade miles rich guy to put manosphere guy on his news thingy or something but miels was refusing so actually manosphere guy was clenching his fist in anger because of that and benoit was behind the bushes watching the whole thing but also helen was behind both of them watching the whole thing as well

i know it probably makes cinematic sense for them to do this, but i wish helen and benoit had been a bit quieter/vague about their discussions bc i was in constant fear that they would be overheard and someone would be like "hey why is your accent different" bc as the previous scenes have shown, eavesdropping people and recording devices are EVERYWHERE (god)

and as modern technology and even death note potato chips scene have taught me. why would you ever NOT assume that your rooms are not bugged. like. recording devices are cheap and tiny. and you're in a rich guy's mansion that he had built for himself and he has a huge ego and doesnt care about other peoples agency. I would be paranoid that there would be hidden cameras and microphones everywhere (dsfosdfjsoijfds)

the part where benoit explained away the entire mystery that miles had someone else write up for him was fun, if the entire movie were just ppl chucking mystery puzzles at the guy and him just explaining everything i would watch that...

tho eq-wise this was a bit like if you're the best tetris player in the world and you enter the lobby of some very casual player and their friends and no one is playing faster than 0.5pps and then you demolish everyone at 5pps with ms2 dpc loop and then the streamer is like "well I guess this isnt our stream anymore it's theirs" that's a bit bm... (we actually kinda do have this problem in the tetrio community and someone even made a video about it)

social anxiety DID HE JUST COMMIT A FAUX-PAS BY BEING TOO OP i do appreciate that he commented on doing it intentionally afterwards (ok so he's aware) bc he was concerned someone would try to actually kill miles

when the pretty dress lady was spinning around and was like "look at me!" i was like 'ok this is obviously a distraction and somehting sneaky is going to happen' but it was too flashy and distracting so i didnt notice anything lol ^_^;;

my first thought was that someone tried to poison miles and poisoned manosphere guy by accident, so when ppl went to their initial conclusions i was like ok that makes sense

okokokookok the flashback

initially i was sus of helen's story. i thought she was andi, but pretending to be a nonexistant twin sister for some reason. her story seemed a bit too clean. like. maybe she fabricated this murder mystery to pique the interest of the best detective in the world to help her with her task, since maybe he wouldn't be interested otherwise. and then benoit would poke some holes in her story and then she would reveal that actually the story was a fabrication but she was desperate and benoit would have some sympathy and would help her out regardless

the movie went on for a while before i was like. 'oh ok, the other shoe isn't dropping... she really is who she says she is??'

(you have to understand my experience in these kind of genres involve ppl like L and Naomi Misora and Junko Enoshima and Celeste Ludenberg its RARE for characters to actually just have been telling the truth the entire time so you have to understand why i was doubtful >_<;;)

i was expecting one of the others to have reset the box and sent it to benoit and then he solved the puzzles and went to the island but no the box benoit received was the one helen smashed to bits lmaoooooo. benoit is so smooth i completely fell for that.

i like all the parts where benoit was like "elementary child puzzles" or something and it made miles look kinda annoyed hehe

ok the false memory thing DOES happen, it's true! when he said it, everyone remembered differently. memory is notoriously unreliable. this is true

ok i know barely anything about business or law but i feel like theres so much more andi couldve done to protect her ownership of the company. like. documentation/photographs of the napkin? patents? on the other hand, as recent events have shown, it is also notoriously easy for a charming guy with money to completely sway public opinion with a strong enough propaganda machine so i guess fair enough...

also i feel like that conversation kinda escalated a bit too quickly. "hey i have new idea KLEAN will energy the world poggers" "no it too dangerous it will blow up the world" "no c'mon" "i will BISECT THIS COMPANY"

like. hindsight is 2020 but. give toddler something to play with rather than taking it away altogether. right?...

also i feel like my watching of medical jdramas has skewed my view of what is realistic, but. i feel like everyone gave up a bit TOO easily after manosphere guy stopped breathing. no one even attempted CPR? does no one have like. epipens or something (idk how pineapple allergies work)

also that little hint at the beginning slipped by me. i thought he just didnt like the taste of pineapples lol (relatable), didnt know that he was actually allergic

the dietary restrictions thing in the invite was actually kinda considerate of miles rich guy tho. i mean, u know, aside from the fact that he exploited this very thing to murder his dear friend

also do the police not have. helicopters

whys it gotta be boats

continued bc apparently 4096 character limit per text block

maybe they shouldve added like a thunderstorm or something. or a cut to the police station where they're like "it's that guy again (ugh), let's deal with this in the morning..."

i am happy helen survived tho. guns scary... especially when they are pointed at you lol

NOT THE HOT SAUCE IN THE NOSE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO this legit was one of the most stressful scenes in the movie lol

i get so stressed anytime there's clearly an actor playing a dead body in a movie bc then im imagining the actor having to lie still without moving or breathing at all and that just makes me anxious lol

ok but why did andi even NEED this dude, she shouldve just made alpha or whatever on her own. unless it's maybe just the. stereotypical white, charismatic figurehead to appease the investors maybe. idk

benoit getting mad at miles rich guy for stealing his murder mystery ideas is the funniest thing

but also i know this is a movie but girl why would you bring out the napkin. just hide it, get off the island, and show it! or at least make a few decoys! take pictuers at least?? whyd u let yourself get outwitted by miles rich guy this is so sad

the smashing glass thing is cathartic but i was also cringing bc all that flying sharp glass in the air and floor does NOT look safe. and also who's gonna clean it up afterwards you're making more work for the poor staff of this resort place :c

also. do u have a death wish. why would you throw that in there when you are THERE in the room. headlines: MILES BRON AND OTHERS DIE IN EXPLOSION ON PRIVATE ISLAND RESORT (ONLY SURVIVORS ARE WORLD'S GREATEST DETECTIVE AND SOME GUY) idk

while the mona lisa burning is funny and LONG expected since the protection barrier thing was introduced and IS probably not the real one since something about wood panel vs. canvas. i just. do not like destroying art man. tho i probably dont care as much bc it is something coveted by rich people. but still.

also imo this isn't the slam dunk they think it is bc if miles rich guy WERE smart, there's a billion ways he could spin this to his favour

it's pretty much his word against theirs but if he uses his money wisely he can easily drum up propaganda support for this, even if his former friends turned against him

e.g. "ex-Alpha founder who never contributed anything and was actually a leech (true story) throw a tantrum on island resort and used bottle rockets/dynamite/whatever other flammable things there are that DEFINITELY arent Klean to destroy PRICELESS work of art'

wait he killed andi, that wont work

'twin sister of ex-Alpha founder who in an irrational, bereaved fit of rage, destroys PRICELESS work of at'

there we go (miles huffs proudly as if he thought of this idea himself and definitely not as if one of the propaganda firms he hired thought it up for him)

ok but who is that other guy. what is his story. why is he on the island

also, helen girlboss destroying his stuff is satisfying but imo not nearly as satisfying as miles rich guy just destroying his OWN stuff just from sheer incompetence

right now he can escape into the mental copespace of "that woman destroyed my (yes definitely my) lifes work, i will have my revenge". i am worried, bc as recent events have shown, it IS possible, even if you are confirmed guilty, to just skedaddle on out of prison, because of technicalities or whatever

and he will probably still have his diehard fans on his side

the future worries me

sdifgos jsgiojf gdoisdgjdiogj

so in the end, i guess. not really satisfying in the sense of a keikaku whodunnit, and I didnt really vibe with many of the characters either, except for benoit, and manosphere guy's mom, and benoit's... husband? (idk who he is but he seems chill), and helen is neat too but i feel like her characterization was a bit too infodump/exposition heavy

i guess if i look at it more in the lens of a social commentary comedy rather than a murder mystery itd be more up to expectations. but still. not really my cup of tea i guess

7.4/10

[aygmam]

notes on poking a dead frog

intro: talks about "I did it their way"

"all great comedy has managed to circumnavigate executive meddling."

james downey

jim downey on clapter "it congratulates itself on its edginess, but it's just the ass-kissiest kind of comedy going, reassuring his status-anxious audience that there are some people they're smarter than"

"my own politics are sort of all over the place in terms of issues, but as far as the writing goes, the only important thing its that it's funny, and that it's an original comment. that the audience agrees with me isn't necessary and probably isn't even a good thing. it's so easy to coast by, just hitting the same familiar notes you know are popular and have been pretested for effectiveness. the audience will always at least applaud, so you never have to risk silence."

he goes on to then talk shit about monica lewinsky, which is not the vibe

shouldn't there be some connection with the audience? can you be a complete anarchist when it comes to humor? "yeah well that's norm macdonald. he does things for the experience of doing it, and he doesn't fear silence at all"

it's funny that he says his status anxious audience wants to be assured that they're smarter than someone but this guy does seem to sort of think he's smarter than a lot of people

talking about not being able to title a sketch pussywhipped "'cmon it doesnt mean vagina. it means female-dominated. but that's where the nbc standards lady says, 'well as a woman...' which was her way of reminding me that her sense of humor had been removed at birth."

"one of the points i pride myself on is that i avoid anything i feel is a cheap laugh based on shock or just being dirty. you can always get a laugh, but you don't want it to come at the price of your dignity"

talking about the chippendales sketch he's like it wasn't making fun of him for being fat, because it's crucial that farley wasn't embarrassed and that the judges react the way that they do

~but bro, all of the laughs are predicated on the idea that it's ridiculous that anyone could find chris farley or his body attractive. like there's not really any laughs that aren't about just like making fun of chris's body. they're literally like we thought you were a great dancer, just a fat fat fatty and we hate that about you. like there's actually no way that this joke could be played out in any other way. like the jokes they're going for are literally just look at this fat fat fatty and how fat he is lol isn't it dumb that he thought he could be sexy

"writers tend to write ordinary people in weird situations. performers tend to write weird people in ordinary situations."

"i honestly never want a political agenda to be the leading edge of the piece. i want the piece to be funny, but only because it's based on an observation that i think if fair to make and that no one else is making."

he wants them to be true more than he wants the implications to line up with what he believes

talks about this interesting exercise when he was reading submissions he would ask for three pieces and one of them had to be something that only you think is funny as the writer

[safetyobstacles]

Parte dois of my giant post to hold all my reactions as i watch Desconjuração because my original post somehow got MASSIVE

so spoilers under the cut starting on ep 9 BBBB)))))

parte uno

update from episode 11 this post is also massive help

you know that song "our house in the middle of our street" thats what this half of desconjuração is like but its just "our house" over and over and over and

WHAT THE HELL WHY WHY WHY WHY

i am sad about liz but its okay im fine its im so sad im rotting im dust my bones have turned to acid and liquid and theres no putting me back together its okay at least i still have arthur and kaiser and erin and joui and WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

EP 9 im going to its 130 am and i have work in the morning but i actually cant sleep until i know what happens to Ivete

cellbit got a haircut for christmas

the void room looks so cool ????????? joui doesnt get a line sus

ABSOLUTE COMEDY GOLD THIAGO AND BEA that was the funniest shit ever "careful asking questions" "GOT ANY SUGGESTIONS??" KKKKKKK i had to pause to breathe if ivete dies because of this at least it was really fucking funny

??????????????????????????????????????????????? i have trust issues is this even real

off topic but ivete, kaiser, and arthur all living together is actually the cutest thing ever i want to crush them like an orange to make juice

joui why are you being so vague over this phone call sus sus sus sus

cellbit says the word photos and i wanna throw him out a window leave kaisers photos aloooooooooooonnnnnneneeeeeee oh nvm the photos are normal :)

joui looking good with his 26 hp 69 sanity :)) erin slowly going crazy with her 13 sanity :))))))) dante is just kinda homeless rn isnt he

ok i feel like this is probably real enough that i can go to sleep without worrying

i think my favourite ordem song is in the second half of this season but that also doesn't bode well for the team...

tristan FUMBLES with the pool question

joui wasnt in the spooky room joui wont hug tristan.............. sus

im so glad everyone else thinks that bea asking for suggestions was funny as fuck dude i was in tears over it

LOOOOL dude i couldnt figure out why Mia was so familiar shes in the GAME her and Lupi i cant believe i didnt recognize her at first its okay ivete i also cant do math in my head

'yeah she fought the god of death thats why shes old' this is so awkward for fernando specifically

why is erin's grandma an elite hacker i think we should open the possible ransomware for fun good thing erin passed her sanity test wtf kaiser's apartment is haunted his computer is haunted his face is fucked up one of his friends just died someone go buy him some gum erin i think your grandma might have joined a cult

kaiserrrrrr he cares so much about his people, giving ivete money to find a new place for now agatha really grows on you shes just a little guy with deadly tendencies and fun hobbies

joui vs modern technology is such a good bit

kaiser about to dislocate his knee all over again door strong

'tem dois pufes' WHAT A GOOD WORD PUFES I LOVE THAT INCREDIBLE suspicious note in the haunted wine cabinet kaiser with the haunted cigarettes and the haunted weed idk which team is more cursed team 2 has a cellbit npc but team 1 has the guys that are seeing phantom eyeballs everywhere

quatro pessoas..... fofoca..... bro arnaldo fritz got around EVERYWHERE are we sure thiago is his only kid the plumbing might need some work wow thats actually like my worst nightmare whats happening to kaiser erin with 13 sanity about to start her singing career

water being used as a horror element makes this 10 times harder to get through for me just the idea of it freaks me out lolll enigma of the printer they're never going to get this file printed strong feeling that tristan is going to get mangled in the haunted house

if i was cellbit and all my players were scattered around the house trying to do 7 different things all at once i would just cry

dante's lost, tristan is trying to set up erin and joui, arthur and fernando are arguing over a printer, kaiser is pocketing a laptop, bea is trying to advance the plot, joui is panicking over groups of 4

kaiser dont go to the bathroom the water is trying to drown you CAN WE LEAVE THJE HAUNTED HOUSE why all these houses fucked up kaiser no more houses for you thats horrible thats horrible thats horrible why do you hate photography cellbit

tristan dont look out tristan stay hiding tristan shut the fuck up the evil monster is in the hALLWAY oh nevermind oh nevermind never mind oh shit oh FUCK DAMN DAMN DAMN BRO GOT OPENED LIKE A CAN OF TUNA

EP 10 theres no way this can go worse than the Virgulino house fight

this season's opening is so good last season's was as well i love good opening sequences DAMN i just watched osnf opening again and now im sad once more i watched it 4 more times i am in AGONY

THE TRISTAN CORPSE erin with 18 sanity doing better nevermind fucking hell maybe we get erin out of here bea runs TOWARDS the corpse thats crazy hello luciano this is really awkward for you to show up right now

go downstairs go downstairs go downstairs go downstairs leave the house leave the house leave the house guys joui has the right idea get the hell out

would be crazy to be one of the neighbours looking out the window right now ERINNNNNNN its ok its ok joui about to beat up dante not the van cellbit looks sus as fuck i think they should go visit the neighbours all the blood might make it a bit awkward tho

so glad i can read portuguese so this notebook could make me sad before Bea even started reading it who's letting their kid answer the door when you live across from a haunted house

little tiny Arthur terrorizing these kids he doesnt mean it puppy fernando probably would have been the better person to talk to the neighbours kaiser repeating their names so he doesnt forget like he did in the house im gonna break something

'its us three forever' AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA im going to deastroy ecveryhting rgresrebhvaljkvbfdsahlvnfakdv

ok but at least if we are going back in the house can we figure out whats up with the printer are we suuuuure the laptop doesnt have a charger is there a ladder that we can use, have kaiser or arthur climb up look through a window, see if they can see the spider woman

the plan is dont die IM SURE THEY WILL ALL BE OKAY bea i think if you go with you die maybe the spider woman is turning tristan's body into a puppet and shes gonna start a puppet show

im so glad we're going in the house at night im so glad theres a red light in the haunted house at night im so glad this is a group of 4 Joui got me paranoid PICTURE DEVELOPMENT ROOM thats not very scary nevermind kaiser get away from the sink its gonna try to suck you again is that bastet ive seen his doki doki stream

i was just gonna comment on how cellbit suddenly sat up straight but he just became grandma again bro erin has 8 sanity one of her best friends just died in front of her she needs to go home ooog idk if we go upstairs ooooggggrgrgbrehgrdf joui idk if you go in front ur kinda freaking out

i hate this house haunted wardrobe about to eat dante the haunted eyeball is contagious ok what do we all have in common that the eyeball is haunting them ABSOLUTELY NOTHING that i can think of the odds of dante putting that number in his phone thats crazy has anyone thought about looking up at the ceiling while they walk

ok now open the door again thats how the eyes work they disappear after you see them ok nvm stop trying to open the door shut the door shut the door KICK THE DOOR???? EXTREMO??? joui that room is hella haunted "hehe nao sabe" wheres kian, kian sabe

i would like to ask again has anyone considered looking up at the ceiling this entire time oh lol they actually looked up just now LAPTOP CHARGER POG who the hell is moving a whole stove upstairs if it broke just put it outside joui is afraid of the upstairs stove

i feel like whatever monster is in this house isnt resposible for kaiser's memory problems/photo problems because his photos got messed up all the way back at Liz's apartment, and the dripping sound was happening before that or maybe its just a part of it since joui and dante have seen the eyesballs now too but why does ivete see it too ? ?? ? its linked specifically to kaiser maybe? maybe its like the flu and hes spreading it by coughing on everyone but then if it is linked to kaiser why him?? i dont remember anything especially specific happening to him at the end of osnf

if thats a photo of them right now ill die thats another horror trope i hate is when you get confirmation that something is indeed watching you please look out the window i have to know ok maybe it isnt

wait didnt that old lady call them an uber like 3 hours ago maybe they can print a key for one of the doors the most obvious crack in the wall everybody missed it for so long

alright buddy cellbit why do you keep calling out the time thats sus why is he counting it out by the minute stop it joui you loser that was cute maybe we burn it outside have you guys ever thought of that maybe we burn it outside so we arent trapped in the house

couldnt have tried burning it outside joui hiding in rocks like a crab okay kaiser runs INTO the house okAY kinda figured the door would do that ah fhfdvnfjdavbklfrdhaij; this music is awesome bea going to hide in a pillow fort idk if that ones gonna work bud wait yeah maybe we dont go in the van something vandalized it last time

"you still dont hear footsteps" ok but last time thats when tristan got plucked also the hell music is still playing so luciano HIIIDE JUST HIDE maybe break the window??? JKUST HIDE STOP FIGHTING THE WINDOW JUST HIDE NVM OK JUMP OUT THE WINDOW LEEEEEAVE NAAO no gkd danmnmuit LUIS BEAAAA shes hgonna shoot him on accident dante got the fuck out lmaooooo

LUCIANO LIVES??????? HE LIVEDDDDDDDDDDD leave the house leave the house leave the house leave the house theres still a half hour left this episode is stressing me out so bad its awesome

headless doll how nice how friendly how normal for a haunted house nvm now the doll has a head erin needs a vacation she has 8 sanity this fucking laptop is the actual boss of the house no way theres only 10 minutes left we're gonna be stuckj in this house for another episode mom pick me up i want to go home

burn the photo OUTSIDE wehats wrong with you guys THANK YOU JOUI NO KAISER wait so it wasnt reacting to the photos getting burned not the POV photo damn poor record guy AWESOME COFFINS GREAT ONE IS OPEN COOL

ep 11 shoutout to orpheu for living this long

rakin did something different with his hair

opening the unchained coffin is wild but you go dante dont let anyone stop you grabbing the floating tape is wild but you go bea dont let anyone stop you taking a picture of the monster is such a good idea you just have to not die in the process\

'kills victims after devouring their memories' KAISERRRRRR 'you guys are getting tired and hungry' ok well maybe if someone didnt fuck up their van they could go to a waffle house

CUP NOODLES POG why are you judging joui's cup noodle flavour listen just send arthur to the old lady's house sure he has one arm and a scarred face but hes arthur hes so small hes the kind of person old people love joui about to get sucked by the sink oh nevermind is this water even safe to drink tho theyre about to get parasites

joui and arthur sharing ramen :) so cute so small so cute how have non of these people eaten ramen before this isnt even real ramen its instant noodles this cooking break is kind of nice if you ignore the invisible spider stalking them no way we take a nap in the haunted house

this is supposed to be sad i can tell but im obsessed with memory loss kaiser going 'wow look at my totally normal faceless parents in this totally normal picture' and arthur just being 'no kaiser no no no'

really admire how we're all just chilling in the haunted house erin so quiet joui you are such a loser i love you NOO ERIN CAN ALSO HEAR THEM KKKKKKKK luciano gnawing on a brick of instant noodles is so real joui and erin gonna make my heart bones dissolve stop it ill die nobody smile at her she may have a heart attack

am i crazy is it not wild to be napping in the haunted house i feel crazy cellbit saying 'you feel strange' but its just luciano changing back had me so scared for half a second fernando this is so awkward you know that tristan is dead right

joui and arthur SLEEPING ON THE COUCH TOGETHER GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR "bom dia joui :)"

POLICE OPEN UP joui just let the cop in joui is incredibly charming nvm not that charming english jumpscare wheres thiago when you need him he could talk his way out of this uh oh

STOPPP the english is killing me also these cops are about to die horribly dante playing splinter cell ana about to get SNATCHED JUAREZ MOOOOVE dude that thing looks awesome her arms are so long AHHH HE MAKES IT OUT THE WINDOW THIS TIME we shoot the monster as its trying to hug joui okay 8 damage is fucked

kaiser is playing pokemon snap meanwhile the monster is trying to turn arthur's chest into a bread bowl luciano doing crazy damage this fight beaaaaaa bbbro its eating her DESASTRE??? nah wait doesnt this thing eat memories before it kills you dude come on bea barely has any HES ABOUT TO PUNCH THE BIRD ORPHEU IS GLOWING AGAINN dante stumbling through the window

erin is so real hiding this whole fight DAMN snapped orpheu like a pencil HE SAID THE THING ???????????? this thing hates knowledge specifically it has so much HEALTH IT CAN REACH OUT THE WINDOW JOUI FUCKIGN SLIPPPPPEDDDD kaiser so mad about being the photographer JOUI YOU'RE SO COOOOOL

cellbit you fucker i dont think tiny bird cpr is going to help YO????? erin chilling with 2 sanity open the door open it open it thats a whole book cellbit...........................

EP 12 whats on the laptop whats in that room can we go home yet

hi everybody welcome to the next episode here have some trauma

nobody smile at erin she's liable to just straight up kill herself if you arent careful 'im gonna tell bea i liked her writing :D' oh dear erin dont even worry about it joui, erin's just gonna talk to tristan's blood splatter

dante with the haircut can the paranormal fix my vision too i would become an occultist for that how is this door STILL stuck who in there not-dead-bea isnt gonna freak out is she thats gonna be reallyyyyyyy

theres no way i would be opening one of these coffins after all the shit we just went through what if theres another spider woman in there joui with a shotgun... does this count as grave robbing is kaiser going to be haunted by even more spirits

dont worry kaiser i have dyslexia and i cant read cursive either its cursed SHOOTING THE COFFIN IS HILARIOUS WHAAAT WHY IS THERE A BLOOD ZOMBIEWHERE THE FUCK DID IT COME FROM ARTHURRRRRRR THIS HOUSE FUCKING SUCKS

wait i forgot thats how blood zombies work cellbit you fucker dont you dare did dante just try to hockey check the zombie joui doing an epic move nevermind this is not very friendly bea :( guyssssss you cant just keep her like this forever will she even go back to being not angry not to be that guy but even if you do manage to chain her up shes probably just gonna mutilate herself to get to you guys

doorways and hallways are the most dangerous enemies in ordem theres too many people climbing all over each other trigger discipline luciano????????????? joui you're so cool

thIS IS SO AWKWARD i just dont know if erin is the best person to be breaking this to fernando erin i dont know if you should be transcending right now but maybe this will be good for you

kaiser and erin got that energy like their parents know each other and wont stop talking in the aisle of a grocery store wait i forgot kaiser has that doll what is it FOR escolha..... WHY DOES EVERYONE THINK JOUI AND ERIN ARE GONNA KISS fernando, erin is the resident grenade and shotgun user she cant stay in the back

the longer they stay in this house the more i can see the actual players going crazy i love that joui's perfect series of events goes back to liz being alive hes so right got rolled by a door

do you think cellbit made the puzzles in this house like "these are kind of difficult but i think they can do it :)" and then dante is just forgetting to finish reading the damned diary and we've been stuck in this house for 4 episodes erin has the right idea blow it up LOL wait luciano is actually gonna let her

ARTHURRRRRRR so small its okay arthur you're a good person RRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAA the arthur kaiser joui relationship making me violent

cellbit i dont like the face you made when fernando went to try and transcend sus DOLL ROOM wait i recognise this music wtf but the song im thinking of is from the calamidade soundtrack

EP 13 cory in the house theme song playing we're never leaving this house

o carente but its not really or maybe it is i dont actually know what the song is for in calamidade joui is not a fan of the doll room who is the eyeball who is the eyeball the drippy sound are the eyeballs the dolls god dammit kaiser at least arthur isnt looking joui vs a closet joui lost

is the eyeball related to death since its basically stealing time away from kaiser ill start fist fighting i still think the eyeball issue is connected specifically to kaiser and hes accidentally spreading it to other people but if thats true why can dante see them whats the connection GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH do they have to be told about it???? will lu and erin start seeing them now too

LIZ WOULD KNOW WHAT TO DO JOUI WAAAAAAAAAAA

cellbit doesnt believe in the power of the safari search engine someone needs to take luciano's gun away hes shooting everything

did daniel hartmann also write this book so glad we're reading the haunted doll book in the haunted doll room in the haunted house no way theres a portuguese test erin and dante dont know portuguese cursive writing defeats yet another player

hey can we figure out who cut the wires in the van thats yet another haunted house mystery unsolved WASHING MACHINE POG NEVERMIND 4 dolls 4 people that can see the eyesballs ive got it we have to sacrifice joui, arthur, dante, and kaiser portuguese defeats yet another player

THIS HOUSE IS IMPOSSIBLE do they have to take photos why is kaiser filling up the bathtub is he gonna take a bath erin's lighting incense to try and make the house smell nicer dante was climbing boxes eu sou luciano what the hell are joui and dante even doing

voce é um gênio arthur!!!! eu sei :))) JOUIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII kaiser dont let arthur in that bathroom ??????? huge brain moment kaiser hang on hes about to fucking drown no way arthur is coming to rescue him alright nobody's allowed near water by themselves anymore what the fuck was that

whaAAAAAT thats crazy anyways jouixarthur?? also happy pride month FOUR DOLLS POGGGGGGGGG erin's not allowed to open any doors if she has to roll a sanity test she'll explode english jumpscare i can hear the drippinggggg

going off the name of the song from calamidade im going to assume all the ghost kids just want a hug and then we can leave no problem :) none of these people have ever talked to a kid in their lives wait the emo kid from across the street??? goth is a lifestyle joui

ah nao we're about to go kidnap the goth kid from across the street luciano might just be the absolute worst person to go and talk to some kid send arthur and joui they are by far the friendliest ?????????????? what do you mean luciano what do you MEAN erin also a good choice shes friendly happy pride month the chair moves incredible

please stop comparing your abs please im begging you stop please por favor pare por favor eu vou morrer guys you cant just bring this kid into the haunted house with luciano shirtless thank god

is this joui's first date this is horrific joui you're soooo this is going incredibly poorly already where are these kids parents cellbit playing three believable NPCs at once is so fun omg Hugo the little brother is MISSING??? joui dont threaten the 16 year old omg Hugo so small manga and snacks thats all he needs joui HATES teenagers joui is so cool to hugo

dante and luciano absolutely RUINING their cover guysssss you're scaring the 15 year olds DAMN JOUI absolutely rolled luciano amigos imaginarios.... bruxo...... hugo about to be kaiser and arthur's new lil bro dante HATES teenagers maybe tim is hiding in the washing machine actually maybe hes in the doll closet bro tim is 11??? they made it sound like hes 5

nevermind ive got it tim is hiding in the coffin tim better not be in the van theres a bea in it why the fudge is this kid in the van :(

im well aware that theres a monster in some season thats called the imaginary friend so tim is making me awfully nervous jesus christ do eduarda's parents know she can do this anyways horrible feeling one of these kids is gonna get possessed and they'll have to fight it

music picking up uh ohhhhh luciano listen i get it i also think they should kill not-dead-bea but this isnt a conversation you should be having with 4 kids in the room tim is one of you imaginary friends in the room with us

dont worry guys ive got it kian is currently possessing tim thats the solution ok the neighbour is kian ive got it for sure kian is everywhere hes in the sofa in the sink in your shoes kian is the neighbours dog ive got it all figured out INTERIOR DESIGN

if i read assombração forçada literally it definitely doesnt sound like a good thing wtf is a forced haunting kian sabe.... are we talking like they took all these live kids and made them possessed or something are there a bunch of kids buried under the house joui's having a brain blast alright ive got it all figured out for sure for real kian is being passed around to different kids bodies so that he never dies thats the solution KIAN IS OROCHIMARU LOLLLLL

dante i think you need to admit that some of your friends from the orphange are all fucked up now and have done really bad things

CATS KIAN IS A CAT IVE FIGURED IT OUT KIAN IS JENNIFER ooooooooooooooo arthurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr WAAAAAAAAA OW???? OUCHIES voce ta bem??? CLARO QUE NAO joui needs a rabies shot now cellbit if you hurt hugo im gonna be really upset ????????????????

daniel hartmann you motherfucker guiltiest man once alive and you deserve it what the hell was wrong with you

EP 14 MUITO BOA NOITE

erin with 21 sanity really doing well for herself the real boss of the house is the handwriting in these notes luciano and dante are getting rolled we still haven't unlocked that stupid laptop thats kinda awkward daniel has a whole fanbase waiting for a new book but he got chomped in half

someone get hugo away from the blood pile hes gonna start trying to steal some jennifer isnt like.... infecting them is she dante if the teenagers think you're cool then you are so cool cassiano probably wants your autograph wait so its not the cat ok ive got it the cat is obviously trying to protect them from the monster jennifer would never hurt anyone

kaiser is accidentally infecting everyone with the eyesballs somehow i know it we keep talking about time sus sus sus sus sus sus

ok ive read the last three paragraphs many many times and all ive gathered is this monster is following jennifer but it realised kaiser is super hot so now it wants to kiss him and also all of kaiser's friends and also ivete so the solution is kaiser and arthur take a nap while everyone hides and watches

ordem paranormal sleepover if theres only 16 cat eyes then that means one of the cats (JENNIFER) escaped idk about this one dante noooo arthur im sure jennifer isnt evil she just has an imaginary friend following her around and it wants to eat your face joui i dont know about this one 18 cat eyes jennifer is NOT haunted

joui quit being a bitch you're only carrying a drawer full of eyesballs what if we try to burn only 1 eyeball dante and kaiser defeat the singular eyeball joui burns the eyeballs this surely wont have a negative affect

o game cheiro LMAOO i cant stop thinking about the game cheiro now

i have the solution dante should sit ON TOP of the wardrobe then he can jump whatever comes out of it oh my god i thought cellbit was roleplaying someone muffled screaming but its arthur's phone ringing ivete :) wait doesnt ivete have the possibly haunted jennifer with her ARTHUR TELL IVETE TO TELL SOMEONE YOUR VAN IS FUCKED YOU GUYS ARE STRANDED

are we bringing ivete to the haunted house idk about this one guys joui wants his bow so bad WHAT WHAT WHAAAAAAAT YOU SAW WHAT IVETE YOU SAw wghaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAT YOU SAW HUH WHAT THE FUCK GUYSSSSSS the girls are fighting again o dear kaiser fernando this is really a horrible time to show up

ivete is here i have anxiety do we really bring jennifer in the house tho do we really bring ivete in the house tho aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa joui i love you you're such a little loser just let him hold the shotgun for 5 minutes nobody in the call trusts cellbit with jennifer IM SO WORRIED listen if i have to pick between ivete and jennifer i pick ivete every time please dont murder her cellbit

we're at the point where they're just threatening cellbit this is like the absolute worst thing i could be watching at 3:30 right before bed what the hell NOBODY HEARS ANYTHING cellbit's having the time of his life KAISER GETS UP???? WHAT HTHE FUCK IS THAAAAT THATS BEEN HAUNTING JENNIFER???????????? THATS BEEN HAUNTING KAISER AND ARTHUR AND IVETE????? DANIEL HARTMANN YOU ASSHOLE

cellbit it so hyped for this im so afraid wow what a nice heal dante oooooo erin using her energy kaiser was not ready if they let this thing escape im gonna wait they're bullying it ???????? QUE FODA IS RIGHT AI WAIT ARTHUR HAS 4 HP luciano remembers everything??????? we leave kaiser alone with fingers and not-kaiser okay OUCH NOT-ARTHUR IS CRAZY WITH IT REAL ARTHUR IS ALSO CRAZY WITH IT kaiser is getting rolled all because he took a nap DANTE CANT HIT SHITTTTT cellbit you YOUUUU 'isnt kaiser one of your important people?" youuuuuuuuuuu

joui stop getting shot by kaiser challenge failed 12 DAMAGE??? DANTE WITH ONE HEAL EARLIER porra ivete minha querida ???????????????????????????????????????????????????? erin. JOUIIIIII we're all failing everything today ivete is fucking nasty with it IVETTTEEEEE PLEEEASE KILL KAISER 2 cellbit you're gonna have to drag ivete out of guaxi's cold dead hands KAISER IS SO SLEEPY kaiser failing EVERYTHING kaiser 2 is fucking CRAZY HES SO STRONG HES IN THE MATRIX arthur rolled a one im gonna lose my brain my mind its all crumbling to dust kaiser rolled a 1 cellbit what the fuck

ivete putting in work FRAKAISER joui you arent allowed in the kaiser 2 fight you already lost dante a true healer about to start beating his patients to near death aaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAA luciano just demolished kaiser 2 HES STILL ALIVE???? NEVERMIND LETS GOOOO joui has broken free of his hallway prison kaiser killsteal

kaiser and arthur taking a little nap joui going to treat ivete :))))))))) no matter how many times cellbit tries to explain first aid it will never not be confusing jennifer i knew you werent evil just haunted sick tattoo arthur but im not really feeling it theres still ghosts up in here

EPISODE FIFTEEEEEEEN i have a bad feeling that if erin dies im going to be really sad how has this happened i kind of love her

kaisers taking a nap onnnnnn the floor arthur hugging im grthgbfdsahvgkjbldsav damn luciano straight to the point at least its a cool looking tattoo arthur tries to transcend with the tattoo and he just explodes oh kaiser is just laying on the ground with the espreitador

still cant get over the fact that daniel hartmann made this thing dude if i was him and i made these kinds of creatures without fully realizing i would also feel horrible

the doll face is kind of horrible get it away joui kaiser doesnt need more drugs he needs bedtime hes gonna have a heart attack "foi legal" ok mister i got shot in the chest OOP? KAISER AND JOUIIIIIIIIIIIII AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA this is so 'dante can you grab my shirt from the floor?'

ERIN CAN FIX THE VANNNNNNNN bea is still in the van danteeee you gotta do something about this erin you are so cool you fix that van you can do anything THE PIZZAS who the fuck stole a slice ivete payed for those erin why are you grinning like that VAN FIXED ERIN I LOVE YOU EVEN IF YOU ATE A SLICE OF PIZZA

the most van ride ever the sleeping passengers the bea the pizza mystery erin's about to crash the car because of the cheese bread this is gonna be so awkward when they get to the base SO awkward

fuck you kaiser you are a good person when bea was trying to kill you guys you didnt even try to hurt her IVETE I LOVE YOUUUUU WAAAAAAAAAAA bro ivete is actually gonna make me cry wtf health regen humungous we deserve this kaiser with the xqc sticc body type what are the odds that when dante tries to look into bea's mind its just screaming and agony verissimo is missing okaay

I LOVE ERIN erinnnnn you're breaking this in the worst way possible they dont know tristan is deaaaaad kalera is so cool dude

WHAT DO YOU MEAN MARCELA IS MATHEUS' MOM THERES THREE PEOPLE IN THIS CALL THAT JUST STRAIGHT UP BULLIED HIM flashback to alex sneaking matheus a note and the kid just reading it out loud

btw im still obsessed with how they say "hugo" in a brazillian accent thats amazing all hugo should be said like that

clarissa is here this is really awkward are you gonna tell her kaiser orrr oof

"HOW ARE YOU FEELING ARTHUR?" kaiser asks while punching him

cellbit stop smiling when you ask if dante is ready to hear bea's thoughts stop it nvm he sent it to break evil mestre

well i wasnt wrong WHOA WHOA WHA get dante outta there what the hell fuck thats :(

that was horrific kaiser theres alot of people locked up in the base prison joui wants to meditate with kaiser sooooo bad if anyone offered to meditate with him he might cry i fucking love tetris

>:( :(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

dante is in unconscious jail OH JOUI thats so awkward you understand what has to be done arthur is TWENTY EIGHT hes so young thats fucked up you stole his whole family from him hes still in his twenties MY BODY IS A TEMPLE

oh. that sucks joui you wouldnt hit a blind man would you

this is so awkward for everyone else living in the ordem prison that can hear this i just think we dont go back to the orphanage?????? that place sucks???? kaiser about to gain the ritual of turning someone into a puppet kaiser thinks omitting details and lying are two different things very interesting surveillance ritual

damn ordem makes me want to punch my monitor

wait DAMN OH SHIT i didnt even realiese until kaiser fucking said something just now but they ARE listening and watching from the symbol tattoed on arthur thats fucked if i had to guess its the sect of masks that did it???? to watch joui?? but strange that the doll face with the same symbol was in the mansion unless the house and the sect of masks are connected somehow

i feel like its better to tell arthur, like who cares if the people listening know, itll be easier to hide shit if arthur understands .... the neighbours? im telling you the neighbour's dog is secretly kian

im a big fan of pizza thats been sitting out for too long thats my toxic trait erin rich as heck we wouldnt make dante sleep on the floor would we hes kind of depressed right now JOUI damn joui they're making dante breakfast and everything kaiser you're being a freak .....we havent heard from grandma in a while

jouiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii u stay here u little

EPISODE 16 WOOOOOOOOO the kaiser thumbnail is wicked

we live in a world where someone or something has definitely gone and dug up bea's body but thats just my opinion

"hm" JOUIIIIIIIIIII JUST HAVE A SLEEPOVER WITH ARTHUR E KAISER "of course, you slept with dante" JOUIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII kaiser is too smart brain too big

ooooooo agathinha foi mal is right arthur's fucking giggle bro stop agatha so mad he got a tattoo without her maybe we ask joui for advice before trying to remove the tattoo "can you hold my hand" arthur makes me want to punch my monitor 11 DAMAGE LOOOL

CARALHO TÁ MUITO FODA joui's so mad hes transcending

they're gonna get back to the house and the kids wandering around it

the computer guys are so funny i think if you turn on an actual light in their room they'll all shrivel up and die letícia is nice but if a strong wind comes she will blow away into dust

to be clear i would steal from the ordem just to see what would happen missed opportunity to see ivete go on a manhunt for who stole her supplies fernando SUCKS at pool joui you're such a little loser i love you kaiser you have to teach arthur how to actually play tetris he doesnt get it

we back in canada baby get the poutine i just noticed the name of this episode :)))))))))) its my favourite ordem song you dont understand

THE OLD PEOPLE DIIIIEDDDD KIAN THE DOG KILLED THEM AND STOLE THEIR BODIES fresta amongus no way we were talking to ghosts bro they ate ghost cake erin's mask is awesome the knowledge and energy guys were kissing in here aren't they supposed to hate each other when did luciano get here

guys kaiser is going through a crisis he's trying to change himself for the better but hes really self conscious about it

HUUUUGGOOOOO hugo dont add random adults on whatsapp even if they like g-force joui would fight a teenager if their name was cassiano

mmmmmmm coffin soup aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa naaaaaaaaaaao lodo preto burn it burn it burn it burn it tchau lodo preto nevermind nevermind nevermind tchau lodo preto arthur dont fucking touch it ...espiral escape room mestre THE PASSWORD IS KIAN THE PASSWORD IS KIAN dammit the password is olho the password is olho

joui you get away from that spiral corpse THE PASSWORD IS HUGO the password is door 4 students desks amongus the password is four the blackboard is haunted haunted chiclete

wowie sheet music if they zoom in on it more i could read it wait thats THE SONG THATS THE BEST SONG some death guy about to come punch them all

i feel like ive lost the plot i need someone to summarize leonardo gomes for me, we think he's kian right??? like his body is kian and we're trying to track leo down to find kian because theyre the same person technically right if not then im watching an entire different show lmao

bmail musicinha if fernando gets fucked up like bea did does the same thing happen to luciano since they share a body or not because they dont really share a mind

its a familiar song to joui... to be clear this is the best song ever dangerous song ?????? cellbit you stop that play the song again joui its so good i dont care if its sending us to hell or whatever

it is boa cellbit fuck you if this song sends you into a coma im screwed oop oop oop oop THAT THING IS AWESOME WHAT THE HELL WICKED COOL SO COOL death has the best monsters

eu fracassei 24 damage is crazy what the hell ah nao she just started the monsters second phase joui get the fuck outta the way erin's demolishing this guy arthur's nice with it luciano playing the drums joui that was so cool theyre bullying this dude

I JUST WANT TO KNOW WHATS ON THE LAPTOPPPPPPP

stepped on a lego normal kids room with a summoning symbol in it wait havent we heard if tirigan before TIM'S IMAGINARY FRIEND?? thats not good your imaginary friend should not be friends with other people ooooo arthur so smart liz would be so proud JOUI SAID IT TOO WAAAA

????????????????????????????????????????????????? alvaro was all over the place also CRAZY that alex doesnt get noticed in this paper dudes so unlucky even in death number 1 alvaro augusto hater btw what a guy

LOL THE SKULL luciano how did you not break it into 1 million pieces no way the body were we supposed to burn this thing plEASE DONT THROW A GRENADE TOWARDS KAISERRRRR this song is so good ill actually never get over it joui is escaping the hallway very smart hallways and doorways very dangerous kaiser about to chuck himself down the stairs

joui not jealous joui never jealous someone should touch the sludge for fun they're gonna have to fight the corpse a third time but now it'll deal burn damage erin almost died on the stairs

LAPTOPPPPPPPPPPPP POGGGGGGGGGGG WE MADE ITTTTTT WINDOWS XP UH OH THAT NOTEPAD DOESNT LOOK TOO GOOD anyways my favourite element is death kaiser wanted to hack the email so bad we really moved into a haunted house and THEN adopted a child not what i would do but whatever

'good luck surviving until then' okay buddy dude this guy doesnt stay away THERES MORE are these the dead kids ISNT GRENADE THREE THE DESASTRE ROLL JUST WONDERING JUST CURIOUS erin is these guys' worst nightmare he rolled a 1 against her how sad AI JOUI FUCKIN SLIPPED OR SEOMTHING HIS INSIDES ARE GETTING TOSSED LIKE A SALAD arthur and fernando jamming out who even cares about death skeletons

luciano fucking sucks at playing the guitar foda demais ITS OUTSIIIIDE ARE THE KIDS ACROSS THE STREET SEEING THIS SHIT HUGO LOOK OUT THE WINDOW wwe superstar luciano hitting a frog splash

joui and erin you two are so lame together i say lovingly joui is not jealous at all ever about any attention that arthur gives to anyone else JOUI THATS SO RUDE KKKK DONT JUDGE HER 3 WORDS SHE KNOWS IN JAPANESE

carro chegando who the fuck is here go away this house is haunted as heck off topic but eita is such a good word IVETE GO HOME WHATS WRONG WITH YOU oh she's dante's uber driver

EP 17 tamo junto

dante you missed the party cool sunglasses tho someone should probably keep an eye on dante so he doesnt take a tumble down the stairs yes ivete please leave the haunted house probably wants to eat you WAAAAA I WAS RIGHT I WAS RIGHT THEY STOLE BEA'S BODY was it gal or the mask guys tho gal is more connected to the orphanage and also hes A FUCKING ASSHOLE

ghost footprints kaiser's never seen a shoe in his life arthur making sure dante doesnt take a tumble down the stairs joui also but im pretty sure hes just being jealous again not the bathroom again :DDDDD

fresta amongus "what do you do?" i shut the door and leave the house get a nice minimum wage job and forget i ever worked for the ordem nevermind i run in and try to grab the book out of her hands to see what happens "ghosts dont exist" okay joui jesussss what ythr fuck

really like how even tho dante is blind now he can still use any ritual he needs to, he doesnt just get written off as useless

maybe the book they need is the BIBLE nevermind daniel you fucker wait that could be such a good idea, turn the water main off, turn on all the taps, and then turn the water main back on no problem no drowning

joui sus joui what were you planning last night sus joui where are you going sus joui why are you the thumbnail for this episode sus joui why have you been so weird since the sect of masks incident sus happy pride month

erin thats fucking creepy this house is a mess are we gonna be cleaning it after this is all over succ stop laughing at cellbit's succ rp WE GET TO SWIM NEVERMIND THE POOL WATER IS NASTY no way we walk up to the pool this is how the entire group dies bro surely the kids across the street are seeing this shit

hello i have a terrible fear of drowning and deep water this is awful THAT THING IS COOL SHES GOOEY 'only kaiser can shoot me' you stop that bullying the pool woman ??????dante OW???? JOUI???? jou you are so in the way is there any way you can move slightly to the left thats horrific luciano how is she still aliiiive mmmmm tripas dante you are just so far away nvm you are now much closer joui is getting ROLLED OH YEAH LUCIANO IS DROWNING KAISER IS BEING SMOTHERED

they're getting absolutely demolished by a swimming pool why does this woman have so much HEALTH DANTEEEE NAAAAAO LMAOOOOOOO LUCIANO IS FUCKING DYINGGGGG

what is this scenario cellbit has created were they supposed to go outside and fist fight the pool because this is going so so so badly was there a better way to go about it YEAAAAAH ARTHURRRRRR

LUCIANO ATE THE FUCKING KEY THEYRE ALL PUKINGGGG

"whispers??????? jouiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii THE KIDS WERE WATCHING YESSSSSSS arthur heal steal this house is a horrible mess what do they actually do with once finished

IS THIS THE LAST DOOOOOOOR ARE WE FINALLY GETTING INNNNN i forgot dante is blind this room is awesome

oooo this kid was pissed WHOA WHOA LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOO THATS CRAZYYYYYYY yum blood symbol hate those guys arthur just breathed into kaiser's ear we're not gonna go bother this random guy are we the skate doesnt have a symbol how uncool i want to transcend with the skate

arthur, joui, and kaiser are DISGUSTING together i love them happy............... pride.................... month...................

:) im smiling through the pain joui you stop this you arent going anywhere they should just go smoke some of the weed in the living room next time joui goes to pee the sect of masks are gonna crawl out the toilet and kidnap him

kaiser's nicotine withdrawal is actually just a cover because hes afraid of losing another person hes close to but its okay ill just believe hes really mad about having to buy more cigarettes

why do you say that like you know you have no choice on if luciano allows you to come back or not fernando im gonna break something

we're gonna go ruin this random guy's life arthur if you werent driving this could be a three way hug its impossible for us to have to fight two haunted apartments in one season

fourth floor.... simply i would not answer the door if there were 6 random people standing outside it ooooooooooooooo joui i dont think frederico wants to relive this guyssss hes freaking out maybe we should have brought him some water or a snack

i think frederico needs to find a new therapist probably one that works for the ordem lmao i thought kaiser was gonna start raiding his kitchen we just showed up at this guy's house, ruined his day, and left kian sabe OQ QUE O KIAN SABE no way we're actually leaving someone rob his house or something

sus the whispers also want to stop at a drive thru equipe e WAAAAAAAAA ...this music is...nice rakin staring suspiciously at cellbit is me rn

?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

what the fuck

EPISODE 18 what the fuck

what the fuck

luis talking about an osnf fancam where am i

im so sad but this intro slaps every time THERES JOUI HES IN THE INTRO WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

who is tirigan also isnt the house still haunted

wow i wonder who left this note gfmnksbonçfjksbgrtfsnkjvgbjifostbgpgnfbsjgfs im fine

大丈夫

AGATHAAAAAAAA new csgo knife skin just dropped RITUAL STORE IS AWESOME if joui was here he would be so mad he would also buy something out of spite QUE FODA too bad its not the skate

o violão de ódio incontrolável sounds awesome 44% paranormal exposure kinda nuts arthur kinda crazy kinda know alot arthur glow up next enemy they meet he's gonna bulldoze them dante kinda tense maybe go sit in the sun for a bit absorb the energy

MATH money is difficult you have so much but then you buy 2 things and suddenly you have none kaiser hates shopping i would also buy the spiral ring you can do it fernando i believe in you

wait hes actually doing it pop off fernando you earned this nvm you're still giving it to luciano but at least the other side doesn't hate your ass anymore

i stopped this episode for a whole week because i was so sad about joui where am i who am i i love agatha

i would collect healing rituals like pokemon cards are there occultists selling rituals on ebay we are all so paranormally exposed but how far can you go before it starts to become not such a good thing bea's brain became alphabet soup sooo

WHERE IS YOUR GRANDMA ERIN IS SHE A HACKER IS SHE DEAD IS SHE A ZUMBI DE SANGUE is she kian kian sabe kian out here sleeping with your grandma erin did you know that

question can i use someone else to transcend and learn a ritual like if i drag arthur into the circle and try to transcend with his tattoo do i learn that same ritual also does arthur explode if this happens

to be clear if you could steal a ritual off of Agatha she would either kill and dismember you OR start loading you up with as many rituals as possible just to see what would happen "take this one and this one and this one and-"

agatha and arthur make me want to punch my monitor oh :( agatha :( what are we even talking about bolo de coco ive lost the plot

kian body hopping like orochimaru he'd better not have a thing for snakes arthur doesn't know shit

reading is HARD if you kill kian's body does he swoop into the next one is there a curse mark that he puts on prospective bodies to use once he loses one do you know who else does that

wow i sure do understand this journal perfectly thanks arnaldo fritz but actually the last page hes translating the STONE and its talking about the elements i know this because i can read HUGO????? hugo just stopped my train of thought completely one of the kids is possesed its tim isnt it tim are you housing kian in your soul

HUGOOOOOOOOOOOOO NAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOO cellbit said you guys are taking too long so this kid is gonna get it joui is hiding in the fridge like a freak

COMO NAO VELHO no illegal weapon modifications allowed i like how cellbit always has to reassure them that they wont get in a car crash unless they roll a 1 they're so afraid

poggers neblina poggers névoa not poggers sangue awkward not to be that guy but the guard is gonna turn into a blood zombie i dont like this song if that one fucker is here im gonna where hugo where hugo where hugo this is not a public bus go away

nvm the car crash fears have been realized oooooooo were leaving the van idk about this one guys occultists hate canada naaaao this freak maybe he's just taking his dog for a walk LMAAAAAAOOOO this guy monologuing and kaiser just 'what the fuck are you even talking about'

this thing is about to ruin everyone's lives wait hes so cool we're so dead HIS CHARACTER MODEL IS COOOOOL TEN DAMAGE :DDDDDDDDDDDDD dante just ruined this guy's life so smart water beats fire or something OW OUCH OW RUINED KAISER'S LIFE HIS DAY HIS FACE luciano idk about getting closer to that guy

i wonder what the inside of the enpap's mind sounds like slapped erin and kaiser the fuck outta the way HE LOVES IT luciano this is so awkward for you this guy's favourite movie is the terminator

wait so was that mark put on arthur originally by gal because how else would this guy know that they had been here

erinnnnnnn just got bulldozed ARTHUR YOU SUCK THAT WAS THE WORST BUT I LOVE YOU ANYWAYS KAISER GFUCKING ATE THOSE HITS if you kill the enpap and it falls on kaiser its gonna squash him like bread "é o kaiser" kaiser is busy dying fuck you his lungs look like a wet towel right now wow erin that was so nice but also you have 2 health

we all suck at dodging KAISERRRRR ERINNNNNNNNNNNN dante doesnt know what the hell is going on btw enpap smol NVM DANTE ACTUALLY RUINED THIS GUY'S LIFE

:DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD leave kaiser alone "im going to take care of kaiser" kaiser is getting kidnapped right now im gonna im gonna gimgf njgtbtrnsdfov fdeajvrfgfdxhb trsevlfd sbvhgutfirodsbgngjfskblnbjgfskibo

arthurrrrrrrGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAA bruno you bitch thats your friend hello hello hello am i crazy hello can we leave kaiser alone hello

fucking hell i need like 10 minutes after that

clara is fucking nuts also where did she come from i wasnt looking i was in great distress EH?mommy hey where are the kids from across the street so bea had the answers but because of kian and birds we lost it HOW'S THIS GUY ALIVE luis is so mad damn clara that sucks this guy is nuts :D

wait this song is awesome luciano fuck him up you wanted this so bad nvm you missed he's doing knife tricks

marca um símbolo oh no :) personally i wouldnt step in front of a dante that's aiming a gun bruno sneezed when he swung at the guy nice luciano um ouch how nice how cool i hate the blood element btw this guy is the WhySoSerious emote

punch him in the mouth nice luciano nvm you got fucked up maybe you should sit the rest of this fight out buddy draws a symbol on himself bro's about to pull a hidan hopefully nobody here is asuma

so can we heal over these marks so he cant use them orrrrrr UNDER THE FRIDGE?? we gotta start moving fridges in every house now

so glad we're back in the house also where are the neighbour kids huh what did you do with them cellbit we made ramen next to this fridge and everything never realized there was a basement underneath

'meu enpapzinho meu filho' ok cellbit

EPISODE 19 cadê o hugo

this is like a field trip everyone gets a nametag so mestre doesn't lose them

this song makes me feel so knowledgeable it only took me 2 tries to spell that what if bruno tripped and fell farther into the hall that would suck hihihihihihihi

maybe we don't let bruno grab any more papers KKKKK uh ohh....

god dammit guys we all got locked out ??????? impossível ser what succal?????? this thing about to kiss dante or what can we not just shoot this one anthony is making it sound like we cant just kill her is she the key

big group in a hallway this is going to be horrible wild choice to wade in the disease water someone's going to get a parasite are there mosquitos down here have we had our vaccines

?????????????????????? THAT SUCKS BRUNO THAT SUCKS THATS HORRIBLE i would fall over and die pretty sure luciano just saved all their asses cachorro de sangue WOOF WOOF

these knowledge guys are kinda crazy how are the hypnotized death guys somehow the most sane ones in the series so far Ike arent you cold down here without a shirt kaiser rolls a 1 great start bruno fofo dont die tho BRUNO???? THAt WAS THE WORST ATTACK EVER KKKKKK OW KAISER LOL ike went and took all of kaiser's luck with shooting

erin flanking she's playing valorant ???????? ?????? ????????? ??????? ???? ????????? ???????? can we all keep our clothes on in the hunted sewers please bruno i have the solution just kick ike in the knee you're right there wait hes actually trying to kick his knee in thats awesome

surely they dont have to fight bruno later at the end of this dungeon

arthur doesnt miss except when he does

no way why are the children in the knowledge sewer why cant 6 people walk as quietly as 1 why cant we walk on our tippy toes HUGO THATS A SICK GAMING ROOM HUGO WHO IS YOUR FRIEND IN THE GAMING ROOM STOP TALKING TO STRANGERS

HUUUUUUGOOOO WHYYYYY this is the coolest thing that's ever happened to hugo luciano hugo cant pause he's playing an online game wait his name does say lucifer thats awesome so smart dante if hugo dies in the game he dies in real life

hi mia this is a really bad time like a really bad time like you couldn't have picked a worse time 4 d6 is insane hugo i love you omg kaiser and hugo gaming together this is just a game cellbit would actually play

is anyone writing down the directions kaiser is going this could be important rakin looks so suspicious of this game the enemies are about to come crawling out the screen succal you're ruining the gamer vibes OW goodbye sanity

tirigan, the last living escripta?????????????? until kian grows enough?????? TIM IS KIAN TIM ISNT TIRIGAN YOUR IMAGINARY FRIEND tirigan is tim's imaginary friend right im not mixing this up i cant just go to the wiki and look and i dont feel like going back to episode whatever to check i could be very wrong

nvm i went back to check and tim is talking about tirigan dude kian is possessing his body mega sus shelf why they have all these pictures why they have cris and daniel and IS THAT ALEX FROM SEASON 1 LOLLLL

ERINS GRANDMA IS ALIVE SHES A HACKER FOR THE BAD GUYS WHY ISNT TRISTAN'S FACE SCRATCHED OUT thiago :( all these ordem members but not veríssimo am i wrong for not trusting him tristan's head got opened like a hotdog bun hes not alive

o anfitrião....

i changed my mind kian is erin's grandma maybe these are all the bodies kian wants to save so he can just hop between them when he needs to after they die idk what you're gonna do with daniel tho he kinda got ate

check behind liz's picture or else please check alex's photo i have the solution erin's grandma is the host UE????????? meu deus we suck at this puzzle damn they really stole fernando's body kinda messed up kinda :( bit aggressive luciano but you've earned it

LOLLLL KAISER THATS FUICKED UP HUUUUGOOOOOOOOOO

19 SANITY arthur you just saved hugo's small teenager brain did they kidnap erin's grandma or did she trip and fall into a chaos lair and become imbued with the power of chaos

can we burn alvaro's body not because he might be haunted or anything but just because he's an asshole DONT PANIC DONT PANIC DONT PANIC THEYRE LOST HLEP HELP haunted shelf

wait i love the emo knowledge duo nvm they're being kinda rude nice one kaiser awesome roll ritual of hate on bruno.... :D erin i wouldnt get in his line of sight dante see nothing LOL HUGO get away from here kish is getting rolled not to be that guy but i think we should be focusing erica

oh no that was her best friend sorry erica LOLLLLLL KAISER RUNNNNN ARTHURRRR NAAAAOOO erin back up erin back up cellbit rolling 1000 dice for bruno's attack OW BRUNO bruno this is really awkward you just fucked kaiser up

no arthur it was a great idea everyone just decided to just hang out around the pissed off bruno

erin vs ammo btw wheres tim wow i understand that paper perfectly the succal is crazy with it WE'RE LOST not lost massive puzzle moment we are puzzling daniel's ass should go on a statue that's called "guilt"

YEAH EDUARDA WHERE IS TIM they're gonna open the door and there's going to be an exorcism to separate kian from tim it's a shame bruno is a cellbit npc so he's probably going to die horribly

can we just kill this anthony guy already i dont like him

gal is the last person tim should be hanging out with

the succ+ is strong against both metagaming and grenades erin's about to go CRAZY NICE DAMAGE ARTHUR NICE isnt knowledge good against energy can we read it a book ive figured it out erin's grandma is the succ+

erin if your gonna go mad at least go try to take anthony out with you

ERIN ROLLS A 1 THATS CRAZYYYYYYYYYYY

dante hates the energy woman he hates the succ++ wtf

erin... :D what :D no way anthony is still alive can someone go kill him THANK YOU LUCIANO kaiser hes so dead his brain is goo oops lucifer and erin are kind of friends arent they

arthur and kaiser paranormal exposure makes me kinda nervous :D go roll around on the symbol on the ground see what happens

kalera you're so cool

erin's still in the ending credits its not over till its over

EP 20 I JUST WANT TO SEE KIAN COME CRAWLING OUT OF TIM'S CORPSE

its been so long

rakin can you actually see luis actually getting to cosplay this time pop off bro just dont die im mentally prepared for erin to become dust

arthur and kaiser kinda matching kinda cute kinda wish joui was here to match with them :)))))))))))))