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#poking a dead frog
aygmam · 2 years
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notes on poking a dead frog
intro: talks about "I did it their way"
"all great comedy has managed to circumnavigate executive meddling."
james downey
jim downey on clapter "it congratulates itself on its edginess, but it's just the ass-kissiest kind of comedy going, reassuring his status-anxious audience that there are some people they're smarter than"
"my own politics are sort of all over the place in terms of issues, but as far as the writing goes, the only important thing its that it's funny, and that it's an original comment. that the audience agrees with me isn't necessary and probably isn't even a good thing. it's so easy to coast by, just hitting the same familiar notes you know are popular and have been pretested for effectiveness. the audience will always at least applaud, so you never have to risk silence."
he goes on to then talk shit about monica lewinsky, which is not the vibe
shouldn't there be some connection with the audience? can you be a complete anarchist when it comes to humor? "yeah well that's norm macdonald. he does things for the experience of doing it, and he doesn't fear silence at all"
it's funny that he says his status anxious audience wants to be assured that they're smarter than someone but this guy does seem to sort of think he's smarter than a lot of people
talking about not being able to title a sketch pussywhipped "'cmon it doesnt mean vagina. it means female-dominated. but that's where the nbc standards lady says, 'well as a woman...' which was her way of reminding me that her sense of humor had been removed at birth."
"one of the points i pride myself on is that i avoid anything i feel is a cheap laugh based on shock or just being dirty. you can always get a laugh, but you don't want it to come at the price of your dignity"
talking about the chippendales sketch he's like it wasn't making fun of him for being fat, because it's crucial that farley wasn't embarrassed and that the judges react the way that they do
~but bro, all of the laughs are predicated on the idea that it's ridiculous that anyone could find chris farley or his body attractive. like there's not really any laughs that aren't about just like making fun of chris's body. they're literally like we thought you were a great dancer, just a fat fat fatty and we hate that about you. like there's actually no way that this joke could be played out in any other way. like the jokes they're going for are literally just look at this fat fat fatty and how fat he is lol isn't it dumb that he thought he could be sexy
"writers tend to write ordinary people in weird situations. performers tend to write weird people in ordinary situations."
"i honestly never want a political agenda to be the leading edge of the piece. i want the piece to be funny, but only because it's based on an observation that i think if fair to make and that no one else is making."
he wants them to be true more than he wants the implications to line up with what he believes
talks about this interesting exercise when he was reading submissions he would ask for three pieces and one of them had to be something that only you think is funny as the writer
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medusas-graveyard · 10 months
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Someone you used to know.
Concept:
an AU where after Danny's parents find out the truth about his biology, they turn their weapons against him; affectively leaving him no choice but to run away. There was no longer a 'Daniel James Fenton'; a child long dead after he was killed via electrocution. He cuts contact with everyone— and I mean everyone; only the god of time knows where he is. He turns to Gotham to start a new life there; under the guise of 'Danyal Nightingale', a homeless kid in crime alley, under the protection of the sentient city herself.
Enter: Bruce Wayne.
Bruce Wayne was quite the enigma to him. The teen basically knew everything about self defense, but Bruce is rich rich; Danny can't really understand why he would need to be athletic as shit for "self defense" when he's pretty sure he could've just hire mercenary level bodyguards. But he doesn't pry on it too much; because Danny understands that somethings are better to not poke around at.
They both grew up. Danny still couldn't understand Bruce. They grew closer, yes; but Bruce would literally... disappear. Like— for long amounts of time. He would ask Alfred for his whereabouts, but the butler simply shook his head, insisting that Bruce would be fine.
And he was right, technically.
The (now pretty grown) man would always come back, even if he was battered and bruised. He would wave off his best friend's worries with "I'm fine"s and "stop worrying"s that just fueled his distaste about Bruce leaving.
And then Bruce left, again.
While he was slightly annoyed by Bruce's constant disappearance, he can't help but just sigh in resignation at the hard headed billionaire. Bruce will come back.... eventually, at least.
He was right; Bruce did come back.
But he didn't.
He couldn't.
He was trapped inside a neverending nightmare.
Because they found him.
Years pass by and his whole body felt numb, numb, numb. He's always either strapped inside a straight jacket in an empty room or torn open like a frog in biology class, on top of a surgery table. He doesn't remember how to speak, what he sounded like, what food tasted like— how it felt to move freely. Because all he could do over the past years (decade?) Is silently take the torture if simply existing.
On a good day, they would let him dream. He dreamt of talking, hyperfixating about stars and Greek mythology— he dreamt of playing tag and cooking messily in a kitchen; all with a boy and older man whose face he doesn't remember. On those days his life felt a little more bearable; like it gives him the motivation to just exist.
"... there's no way you're named after a bird."
"....ne. What's yours?"
"Danny is a nice name."
"Hey, wh— HEY! Get down from there!"
"Don't be such a worrywart. I'll see you soon, Danny."
".....Danny"
".....Danny!"
"Danny....?"
His dazed eyes weakly focused on the familiar voice calling his name; the sight of a dark figure by the lab door greets his line of sight.
He's strapped on the table; chest still wide open as the figure rushes over him. He could hear their heart rattling inside their ribcage and their heaving breaths.
....no. this is all just a dream.
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ineffable-ezra · 2 months
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Crowley and Aziraphale love humanity in a "preteen boy who found a dead frog" kind of way.
Like, "Ooh, look at this. Let's poke it with a stick."
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karvroom · 1 month
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10 Things I Hate About Katsuki Bakugo
◤━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━◥
⇦ 003. French is the Language of Love
004. An Idiot with Money
"Did I or did I not tell you it was pointless?" Sero sassed as he moved the scalpel down the frog's stomach, careful to not slice any deeper than the skin. "No one will go out with her."
During lunch, Kirishima recruited Sero to help him find someone to go out with you for the better chance of him and Mina going on a date. Sero managed to snag some guys, setting them up for the question they never thought they would hear: "Will you go out with (Y/N) Ashido?"
"You're joking, right?"
"Maybe if we were the last people on Earth."
"How much you gonna pay me?"
The range of responses were pretty harsh to say the least. It was hopeless trying to find someone willing to take you on a date. If only no one at the school was intimidated by your wicked attitude and vulgar vocabulary.
Why did the girl Kirishima like have to have the most difficult sister of the century? In addition, a strict father. He was devastated by the results of his scouting, starting to feel a headache from the amount of stress he endured. Kirishima knew giving up wasn't ideal but they had tried just about every possible candidate.
A lump formed in his throat, watching Sero poke and prod at the insides of the dead frog on the tray. They were in anatomy, which wasn't Kirishima's first choice for a science class. He felt queasy just looking at roadkill. His eyes averted from the sight, finding it impossible how Sero could play with the insides of a deceased creature so senselessly.
The red-head squinted his eyes, seeing a blonde boy whip out a pocket knife from his own pocket. He was pretty sure that was illegal but gawked at the stranger, intrigued by the sight. The blonde flicked his wrist, the blade flying out of its protective frame. With a BANG the boy drove the blade down the frog's body, revealing its intestines. Kirishima quirked a brow, coming up with a brilliant idea.
"Hey, hey, what about him?" Kirishima tapped Sero's arm, snapping the ravenette out of his own world. He pointed at the intimidating blonde behind Sero.
Sero curiously turned around, only to swing his body back to face Kirishima. Sero looked almost offended by his friend's suggestion. When he pictured you and Bakugo in the same room, all he could see was the walls painted red. "Him? No, don't—don't look at him, okay? He's a criminal. I heard he lit a state trooper on fire. He just did a year in Shimane Asahi."
"Well, at least he's horny." Kirishima joked, eyes lingering on the mysterious male behind Sero.
"I'm serious, man. He's whacked." Sero whispered, careful not to alert any one of who he was talking about. "He sold his own liver on the black market for a new set of speakers."
Bakugo flipped the gas switch on in the lab. A large flame shot out from the pipe, causing his science partner to jump back in fear. The blonde placed a Marlboro red in his mouth, leaning just enough over the counter for the cigarette to light. Sero was repulsed by the sight.
Meanwhile, Kirishima was intrigued by the specimen; observing as Bakugo's partner took the cancer stick out of his mouth, pushing the tip against a trey to burn out the tobacco. "He's our guy."
Later in mechanics class, Bakugo had been creating a masterpiece from his hard work.
"Hi, how you doin'." Kirishima confidently spoke to the brute through the steam produced by Bakugo's project. "Listen, I—"
A drill interrupted the boy's sentence, he looked down at the French book he carried in his two hands. A hole was being drilled by Bakugo, right in the center of the Eiffel Tower.
Kirishima couldn't lie, he was somewhat intimidated by the guy, afraid how much Bakugo would sell his liver for. "Okay. Later, then."
"How do we get him to date (Y/N)?"
"I don't know." Kirishima sighed, shaking his head side to side as his friend observed the giant hole in the book. "I mean, uh, we could pay him, but we don't have any money."
"Yeah, well, what we need is a backer." Sero spoke, slamming the book on the table while turning to Kirishima, who looked utterly confused by his words. The raven haired boy sighed, "Someone with money who's stupid."
────୨ৎ────
Sero had the bright idea of roping in Denki Kaminari somehow. Kirishima patted Sero on the back for luck, staying back to allow a better chance of Kaminari coming in clutch.
Sero inhaled deeply before marching over to Kaminari's lunch table in the cafeteria. Confidently, he took a seat right next to the blonde boy, who was drawing a rack of boobs on a yellow lunch tray. The table went silent as Sero settled into his spot.
"Is that a peach Fruit Roll-Up?" Sero asked, staring at the homemade lunch Ojito brought to school. The nervous boy reached his hand out for the sweet treat. "Because you don't see many—"
Sero was abruptly cut short by Ojiro grabbing his wrist. His heart stopped, he felt his head was about to explode with anxious thoughts swirling in his mind. The sweet boy pulled his hand away, rubbing at the skin that would later be bruised.
"Are you lost?" Kaminari asked in a "concerning" tone. The blonde's face twisted into one of a sour grimace, surprised by the boldness this kid had to sit at his table, to talk to his friends, but most of all, talk to him.
"No. Actually, I just came by to chat."
"We don't chat."
"Well, actually, I thought that I'd run an idea by you, just to see if you're interested." Sero proposed, using his hands as he talked. Before Kaminari could speak, Sero cut him off, trying to at least pitch his thoughts. "Well, hear me out. Now, you want Mina, right?"
Kaminari grabbed Sero's face, but Sero didn't stop talking, he continued the conversation as casual as one could. He held the heat emitting from Kaminari's hands as they wrapped under his chin. He twisted the ravenette's head to the side. Using the same marker as he did on the tray, Kaminari started drawing on Sero's cheek.
"But she can't go out with you because her sister is this insane head case, and no one will go out with her, right?"
"Does this conversation have a purpose?" Kaminari asked in a bored tone, touching up the penis he drew on Sero's face. He added hair and veins, even debated on adding more detail to the balls.
"What I think you need to do is you need to hire a guy who'll go out with her. Someone who doesn't scare so easily." Sero pointed at a table in the distance where Bakugo and another guy sat. Kaminari's hands released from Sero's chin. He leaned back to admire his beautiful artwork.
"That guy?" Kaminari asked, brows furrowed. He observed as Bakugo ate his food, hungrily munching on the chicken served by the cafeteria. "I heard he ate a live squirrel once."
"Everything but the tail and the head. Clearly, he's a solid investment." Sero nodded his head, adding a smile to really add to the charming charisma.
"What's in it for you?"
"Hey, I'm walking down the hall and I say hello to you, you say hello to me." Sero chirped.
"Yeah, yeah, I get it. You're cool by association." Kaminari cleared his throat, nodding his head in clear understanding. "I'll think about it."
"Alright, cool." Sero said, he stood up from his spot, attempting to shake hands with Kaminari as a close out. When the blonde refused to touch his hand, Sero backed away, scurrying back to Kirishima.
"What are you doing getting him involved?" Kirishima stressed, walking with Sero towards the cafeteria exit.
"Relax, now. Relax. We let him pretend he's calling the shots. While he's busy setting things up, you have time with Mina." Sero calmly explained, over exaggerating his hand movements.
"That is a good idea." Kirishima admitted, a sly smile spreading across his face.
◣━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━◢
⇨ 005. The Beginning of the End
taglist🫐 @katsukota @wheezdostuff @honeydwitch @chuugarettes
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petitemistletoe · 1 year
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Presents of Mind
Pairing: James Potter x Reader
Warnings: smut, angst
Word Count: 5.2K+
A/N: Do wizards have grad school? What comes after Hogwarts? Also idk why but its canon to me that Sirius walks around naked
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“Why are you moping?” Harry asked you, poking your arm lightly as he sat down on the couch next to you. 
“I’m not moping.” You sighed and set your book down. 
“You are. You’ve been moping since you got that letter last night.” 
“That was my mom,” you sighed again, turning your body fully so you were facing Harry, “she’s going to the United States for Christmas to visit my brother and his wife and their new baby. It’s just going to be too crazy with the newborn so she wants me to stay with my weird Uncle Radolophus for the holidays. I told her I’d be fine here since I have about a mountain of work to finish for my advisor but she doesn’t want me to be alone.”
“Why don’t you stay with me for Christmas? This will be the first Christmas with my dad since my mom started dating Snape.” Harry had a disgusted look on his face. In Harry’s final year at Hogwarts, his parents announced they were getting divorced and his mother moved out of his house a few months later. Professor Snape had become even more insufferable as he tried to win Lily’s affection and luckily for everyone, Lily had waited until after Harry had been settled at university for his first year of a graduate program to start dating Snape. Harry had practically lost his mind and spent several weeks holed up in your shared apartment and you had to draw him out with chocolate frogs and butterbeer. 
“Are you sure? Your dad won’t mind?” 
“Nah, he’s nesting big time. He’s cooking a whole giant dinner and it’s going to be just me, Sirius, and Remus.” Harry shrugged.
“It won’t be weird? Me staying in your childhood home?” You asked, thinking about seeing Harry’s childhood bedroom. 
“No, no, my dad rented a house in Cornwall. It’s a little tradition that him and his friends have. Come on! It’ll be fun. Cornwall at Christmas with my best friend. Snow on the beach!”
“Alright. I’ll come.” You nodded.  
You and Harry had been friends since first year but you had strangely never met and had barely even seen Harry’s father. Harry’s mother had been more involved in all the school things and you supposed that’s why Lily and Severus had grown close again. It wasn’t that James was absent, quite the opposite, he was almost always at Quidditch tournaments and of course took Harry to and from Kings Cross every September but you just never seemed to catch him for more than a few moments since first year. You had heard from Hermione and Ginny, however, that apparently the man was supposed to be drop dead gorgeous. 
“I’m leaving after my exam tonight. Meet you back here at seven?” Harry asked, getting up and stuffing his textbook into his bag. As Harry got ready to leave you heard a knock at your door. You got up off the couch to answer it and let Hermione and Ron in.  They were bickering, as they usually were, and settled down in yours and Harry’s apartment like it was their own. 
“Ron thinks that a vacuum cleaner is an appropriate Christmas gift for his parents.” Hermione sighed, pouring herself a cup of coffee while Ron flopped down on the couch next to you.
“It is! Mum loves to clean and dad’ll love that its a muggle invention.” Ron said, grabbing a throw pillow of the couch and burying his face in it. 
“Your mother is a person beyond the face that she’s your mother. Why don’t you think of a gift that fits one of her interests?”
“She hasn’t got any interests!” Ron groaned and removed the pillow slightly to check his watch, “Harry let’s go! We got to be at the lecture hall in twenty minutes!” 
“I’m coming! God, you two are so lucky you’re done with exams.” Harry said, shaking his head at you and Hermione. 
“Oh Harry! Molly wanted me to ask if you’re coming to spend Christmas with the Weasleys?” Hermione said, finally taking her place next to you on the couch with her warm cup of coffee. 
“No. I’m spending it with Dad this year. Plus, Ginny isn’t even going to be there, she’ll still be touring with the Cannons.”
“You don’t want to come to your best friend’s Christmas because your girlfriend won’t be there? We were friends before you even noticed Ginny!” Ron said, mouth open in shock. 
“Ron, I’m spending Christmas with my father. You can bear Christmas with your own girlfriend and family.” 
“Ugh, my family,” Ron sighed, “do you want to come?” He asked you. 
“Spending it with Harry.” You shrugged. Harry rolled his eyes then looked at you on the couch. “We’re heading out! See you when we get back.”
You waved and then turned back to Hermione after you heard the door shut. 
“So I’m spending Christmas with Harry.” You said. 
“Oh my God. Have you seen Harry’s dad?” She asked excitedly. 
“You know I haven’t! When was the last time you saw him?” 
“I got tea with Professor Lupin a few weeks ago and Harry’s dad stopped by his flat to drop off his broom. The divorce is serving him well, let me tell you. He looks fantastic.” Hermione grinned. 
“I don’t remember the last time I saw you this excited about Ron,” you joked gently. 
“Ron and I have been together for almost five years now,” Hermione said with a bored shrug, “He gets to ogle Fleur and I get to ogle Harry’s dad. As long as we come back to each other there’s no problem.”
“Okay,” you laughed, “I get it. But isn’t this a little weird? That’s Harry’s dad. He’s our best friend.” 
“Talk to me after you see him.” 
You thought about Hermione’s words long after she left your apartment. You had a small bag packed and you were fiddling around waiting for Harry to come back. You practiced transfiguring different objects in your apartment into different animals. You figured you had to stop, however, when you transfigured your fireplace into a dragon and it took a few more seconds than you thought it would to transfigure it back. Your walls were a little soot covered but you were up on a chair trying to get the soot off the ceiling when Harry got back. 
“What are you doing?” He asked with a surprised chuckle. 
“Uh, had a little scuffle with a dragon.” You said sheepishly. 
“Transfiguring the fireplace again?” He gave you a knowing look. 
“How was your exam?” You asked, getting off the chair and pushing it back towards the kitchen table. 
“It was alright. I’m ready to have a drink and not think about school for the next few weeks.” Harry said, setting his book bag down and grabbing his traveling bag. 
“Yeah, real smart of us to go from Hogwarts to uni to grad school without taking a breath.” You rolled your eyes and grabbed your own bag, threading your free hand into Harry’s and waiting for him to apparate.
You stumbled onto a stretch of beach with a large manor that overlooked the water. 
“So this is where we’re spending Christmas? I knew you came from money but I had no idea you were this well off. Sure you’re happy with Ginny?” You said, grabbing Harry’s cheek teasingly. 
“Shove off,” Harry rolled his eyes and led you to the front door. The manor was cute, comfy, and warm. It was more chic than the Weasley home, with newer furniture and more modern decor, but it was still homey. It smelled like warm butterbeer and cinnamon and you could hear casual conversation in the sitting room. Harry walked into the sitting room and you took in the two men who were sitting in there. One of the men was familiar to you, your old defense against the dark arts professor Remus Lupin and the other man was around the same age, with longer dark hair, a chiseled jawline and cheekbones, and a smattering of tattoos that were visible on his chest through his thin shirt. That couldn’t have been Harry’s father…could it? He was beautiful. But he didn’t really look like Harry and everyone was always telling Harry that he was the spitting image of his father.
“Hello,” you said, greeting the two men.
“Ah! There’s my favorite student.” Remus said, standing up and giving you a quick, respectful hug. 
“This is my godfather, Sirius Black.” Harry introduced you to the attractive man, Sirius, who stretched out his hand to you after giving Harry a tight hug. 
“Pleasure to meet you.” He winked at you and you fought down a blush. 
“So where’s my dad at?” Harry asked, flinging himself down on the couch and holding his arm out so you could sit down next to him. You obliged, snuggling up against Harry’s warm body and looking at the two men on the opposite couch. 
“He ran out to buy a few things you for you and your friend. He wanted to make the place feel as inviting as possible and make biscuits for the both of you.” Sirius said with an eyeroll. 
“How’s he been. You know, since it all with Mum and Snape?” Harry asked. Sirius and Remus exchanged a look before Remus shrugged his shoulders and exhaled deeply, his fingers rubbing his temples,
“It’s been hard. Have you talked to your mum recently?”
“No. Not really. She knows how I feel about her and Snape. We’ve gotten tea a few times since but she knows that I wanted to spend Christmas with Dad.” Harry said with a head shake. You felt a little awkward, like you were intruding on a private moment between Harry and his uncles, but you didn’t say anything, just stared at your hands. 
“I have no idea what she sees in old Snivellus.” Sirius rolled his eyes and earned a slap on the chest from Remus.
“Sirius!”
“Come on, you think so too,” Sirius rolled his eyes at Remus, “You hated him just as much when you were teaching as we did when we were at school.”
“Even so-” Remus started to rebut but you heard the sound of the front door shut and you were sure that James was finally home. He entered the sitting room and you had to remind yourself to breathe. He was just as gorgeous as Hermione and Ginny had described. He was tall, with dark hair and eyes and those glasses. He had an easy smile and was muscular the way that Quidditch players were but he also had a distinguished dusting of silver in his dark hair. He immediately bound to Harry and hugged him tightly, his bicep pressing up against your own on the couch. He then pulled away from Harry and focused his attention on you. 
“I’m sorry. Strangely, in the entire time you’ve been close friends with Harry we haven’t really made each other’s acquaintance. I’m James.” James wrapped you in a close hug. 
“Hi! It’s great to meet you,” you nodded, not exactly hating the feeling of his body on yours. 
“So, I thought we would have a little Shepard’s pie if that’s all right with you, love?” James asked Harry. It was clear that he doted on Harry and you thought it was very precious. You had seen the way that Lily had doted on Harry and while that was all well and good it was different from the way that James was doting and it was refreshing and beautiful. You smiled at the duo as you watched them. 
“Yeah, Dad, sounds great.” Harry grinned up at his father. James touched Harry’s cheek affectionately and got up to head back into the kitchen. Remus and Harry got up to help James and you were going to get up too but Sirius sat down on the couch next to you and grinned at you with that crocodile grin he was so good at. 
“So, darling, do you have any connection to the honorable House of Black?” Sirius asked you, his fingers tracing a shape on your arm. 
“No. I don’t believe I do.” You responded. Sirius grinned even wider.
“Perfect.” He said, showing off his white teeth. 
“Get off her, Padfoot!” James called from the kitchen. Sirius waved at James’ general direction and stretched his arms over your shoulders. 
“You wouldn’t happen to have daddy issues, do you?”
“Are you asking me that because you want to know if I’m into older men?”
“So are you?” Sirius leaned in closer to you so your nose was brushing against his. 
“I had a great relationship with my Dad. Right up until he died.”
“Oh,” Sirius’ smile dropped, “I’m sorry.”
“That’s alright,” you said, waving him off, “That’s all to say that I definitely have some daddy issues.” 
“Silver lining, then.” Sirius said, smiling. You wouldn’t have been surprised if in the following moments, Sirius was going to close the distance between you both and kiss you on the Potter’s couch but Remus walked in and threw an oven mitt at Sirius. 
“Sirius! You whore!” Remus said, feigning anger and walking over to punch Sirius in the shoulder. 
“Ow! Get off me, you’re cramping my style.” Sirius glared at Remus.
“You know what else should cramp your style? The fact that you’ve been dating me since sixth year.” Remus rolled his eyes. 
“So I’m not allowed to live?” Sirius shot back. You were laughing as you watched the match unfold and it looked like Remus was gearing up to shoot another smart remark back but Harry walked back in and said, 
“Dad says dinner is ready and for you two to kiss and make up.” Harry stretched his hand out to help you off the couch. You all took seats at the table. 
“If you wanted to watch us make out, Prongs, you should’ve just said so.” Sirius teased. James stuck his tongue out in return. You took a moment to imagine what it would be like to have that tongue all over your body. You promptly shook your head to rid yourself of the thought. 
“So darling,” James turned to look at you and fought the urge to blush, “Harry told me your last name is Siphera. Any relation to Jack Siphera?”
“Uh yes,” you nodded, pushing around a pea on your plate, “he was my father.”
“Oh, I’m so sorry. He was an excellent dueler. A strong member of the Order, you remember him don’t you?” James asked Remus and Sirius. 
“Jack was a very kind man,” Remus smiled.
“Siphera…I didn’t know that he had passed. How did he die, if you don’t mind my asking.” Sirius asked. Remus was shaking his head but Sirius didn’t seem to notice. 
“He was murdered by Bellatrix when she tried to escape Azkaban.” You responded. 
“Bellatrix? My cousin Bellatrix? Bellatrix Lestrange?” Sirius asked, dropping his fork with a clatter.
“Do you know very many other Bellatrixes?” Harry asked. You started laughing and so did Harry until the two of you were both doubled over and gasping for breath.
“Alright,” James said, looking at you two warily, “I bought a bottle of firewhisky for us all, raise your glasses.” James poured everyone a generous helping of firewhisky and then raised another bottle of dark liquor for shots. 
“To many holidays together.” Sirius grinned at you as you clinked glasses. You tipped your head back and took the drink, swallowing against the harsh burn in your throat. A small droplet escaped past the side of your glass and made its way down your chin and dropped between your breasts. You became acutely aware of the eyes that were on you. You rubbed your mouth harshly and took a large sip of firewhisky, averting your eyes to look at Harry. His cheeks were a bit pink from the shot and he shot you a large, easy smile. 
The drinking continued and the evening ended with you and Harry stumbling into a free bedroom and falling asleep. You and Harry had often slept in the same bed, it started when you were in second year and you had both stayed up late revising for potions. 
When you rose the next morning, your mouth was painfully dry and your head was pounding. You nudged Harry lightly and he groaned in response. 
“What?”
“I need water.” You croaked. 
“So get water.” Harry moaned, putting his head into the pillow and trying to wrap the edges of the pillow around his ears. 
“I’m too hungover,” you shook your head. 
“Fine, open your mouth I’ll use the aguamenti spell.” Harry shoved himself up on his forearms and grabbed his wand. You opened your mouth and Harry cast the spell. Unfortunately for you both, it was with much more intensity than Harry had intended and you choked on the intense stream of water that had assaulted your throat. You and Harry began to laugh as you were both drenched in water.
“I’ll go down and make some tea,” Harry said, changing his shirt. 
“I’ll meet you down there, I’m just going to take a quick shower.” You stripped and wrapped a towel around you as you made your way to the bathroom. You let your body relax under the warm water and you thought about how Hermione and Ginny had been exactly right when it came to James. He was unbelievably gorgeous and you couldn’t stop thinking about when he hugged you, when his fingers bumped against yours as he was pouring drinks, as he brushed against you as he served dinner. It was intoxicating. There was also a detachable shower head that you grabbed and adjusted the water pressure. Once it got to a setting that was to your liking, you angled it so it was spraying a steady stream against your clit. You gasped softly at the pressure and let your head rest against the wall of the shower. You tried to imagine the old things that would get you going: the ripped quidditch players, the rugged wizards from romance novels, the occasional rockstar, but then James crossed your mind. The feeling of body against yours, how you imagined his lips felt against your neck. You imagined his cock entering you, the feeling of your body pressed against the shower wall as he pounded you from behind, his large hands on your waist, his breath hot against your neck. You came harder that you anticipated and you muffled your moans in the crook of your arm. You finished showering and changed into a fresh pair of clothes before descending the stairs. You felt your stomach churn in an unpleasant way when you smelled cooking from the kitchen. 
“Good morning,” you said, sitting down at the kitchen table and accepting a cup of tea from Harry who looked just as queasy as you felt. James looked like he had fully rested after a long night of sleep. All around him potatoes were being mashed, green beans were being washed, and a turkey was being stuffed. James himself was charming a rolling pin to roll out dough for scones. 
“Good morning! How did you sleep?” James beamed at you. 
“How is it that even now in our old age, you still have never been hungover?” Sirius groaned, walking into the kitchen completely stark naked and pouring himself a cup of coffee.
“Sirius! Cover up. There’s a lady in the house.” James rolled his eyes. 
“What you haven’t seen this before?” Sirius thrust his hips forward a little and pointed at his dick. You laughed and shook your head. 
“Can’t say it’s my first time. Though it is my first time seeing a hickey there.” You and Harry both tilted your heads to get a better view of the large purplish bruise on the side of Sirius’ cock. 
“Moony gets teethy.” Sirius shrugged, leaning against the counter and taking a long sip of his coffee. Remus walked in a few moments later and rolled his eyes at Sirius, throwing a pair of boxers at Sirius’ chest. 
“Animals, the lot of you.” James shook his head. 
“Dad, did you want to go for a round on the pitch?” Harry asked, accio-ing his broom into his left hand. 
“Ah, I wish but I have to finish cooking.” James gestured to all the food around him. 
“I can cook! Go, it’s alright.” You smiled. James gave you a grateful smile and nodded,
“I’ll only be a few minutes.” 
“Take your time,” Remus waved him off, “I’ll stay and help too.”
“Cheers Moony!” James grinned, “Pads you coming?”
“Try and stop me.” Sirius laughed. The three boys scrambled outside and you could hear the chatter between them. You laughed to yourself and began to tend to the turkey. 
“It’s sweet isn’t it,” Remus said to you, “the bond between James and his son.”
“It reminds me of me and my father. I never realized how close Harry and his dad are. I always saw his mother at school functions.” You said. 
“Lily is an amazing mother, despite some of her most questionable actions as of late.” Remus sighed, “I do hope that her and James reconcile.”
“Oh,” you felt your heart do a flip-flop, “you think they might get back together then?”
“I certainly hope so.” Remus said with a sad smile. 
“I don’t.” A new voice said. It was James. He was sweaty and panting as he grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge. 
“You don’t? Not even a little bit?” Remus quirked an eyebrow.
“No,” James shrugged, “I think Lily is an amazing person but after so many years together I think we both realized that we can be better friends apart. There’s no harm in that.”
“I suppose only you and her would know.” Remus had a pensive expression on his face but he didn’t say anything further on the subject. 
The rest of the day passed rather quickly, as you helped James prepare for the Christmas Eve dinner while Remus, Sirius, and Harry decorated the tree. After dinner you drank eggnog by the fire and listened to James tell stories about Harry when he was young and all the Marauders’ adventures. Sirius and Remus stumbled off to bed, thoroughly drunk with Sirius attempting to suck a dark hickey onto Remus’ neck.
“Silencing spell Pads!” James called. 
“Cheers!” Sirius called back, the door slamming shut and the unnatural silence of the spell taking hold. 
“It’s a little tradition in our household to open one gift on Christmas Eve.” James said with a smile. He handed a small wrapped gift to you and Harry. 
“Oh, James, you didn’t have to get me anything. The invitation was enough!” You felt your face burn but you weren’t sure if it was from the egg nog or the gift. 
Harry opened his gift first. It was a necklace with a silvery sword pendant.
“It’s beautiful.” Harry said, watching the way the pendant gleamed under the light of the fire. 
“It’s functional as well.” James stood up and extended a hand to Harry as well. “Hold the necklace by the pendant and flick your wrist.” 
Harry followed his father’s instructions and after the flick of his wrist the pendant expanded to a full sized sword. 
“Whoa! Is that the sword of Gryffindor?” You asked, scrambling up and examining the sword up close.
“Yes it is. It’s been in the Potter family for generations. Flick your wrist again.” James instructed. Harry did so and the sword returned back to it’s pendant size. Harry put the sword around his neck and gave his father a tight hug.
“Open mine!” You urged Harry, handing Harry your gift as well. Harry opened it and laughed. 
“Oh my God! This is great!” Harry grinned, pulling out a jumper that Mrs. Weasley had helped you knit. It was a dark red with a little design of a figure that looked like Harry whizzing by on his broom after a golden snitch. 
“Thanks! It took a lot of yelling from Mrs. Weasley and some tears but it’s done!” You beamed. 
“This is truly amazing. You’re very talented.” James was studying the jumper in adoration. 
“I’m so glad you think so because after I did it once I was able to replicate it and make some tweaks so happy Christmas James!” You handed James an identically wrapped package. Inside was a jumper but the design was a man who looked like James that disappeared and a stag stood in his place. You had remembered the stories Harry had told you of his father’s animagi status and thought it would be sweet. James wrapped you in a tight hug and grinned at you, 
“Thank you so so much.”
Harry gave James his gift and then handed you his gift to you. It was a gorgeous porcelain tea set that was enchanted so the bottom of each tea cup had a grim at the bottom, a silly callback to yours and Harry’s shared time in Divination. James had run out for a moment and then returned with a small box for you. It was a beautiful, dainty bracelet. James helped you put it on. You were absolutely speechless. 
“Thank you so much, James. It’s absolutely lovely.” You excused yourself to the bathroom where you investigated it more. It looked like real gold. Why would James give you such an expensive and intimate gift. You saw there was a little slip of paper underneath the bracelet. You pulled it out and read:
To my one true love, my Lily
That made more sense. James had given you a gift that he had intended initially for Lily. You would give it back to him after Harry went to bed. You were about to round the corner to reenter the main room when you overheard a conversation between Harry and James. 
“-Siphera is a lovely girl. Are you and her…together?” James asked. 
“No, no,” Harry responded, “She’s my best friend in the entire world. I’m glad you got to meet her.”
“I am too.”
You took that as your cue to re-enter the room and you nestled back into your spot and wrapped your hands around your cup of eggnog. 
“Alright, I’m going to ring Ginny before bed. G’night.” Harry gave you another hug before going to bed. 
“So James, while I really appreciate the bracelet I don’t think I can keep it.” You said, handing James to bracelet back. 
“Oh, you don’t like it?” James gave you a look of alarm. 
“No, it’s not that. I just saw this note and…” You handed James the note. 
“I, um, I am so sorry. I had gotten you a box of chocolates for Christmas but then I saw your gift and I panicked. I had bought that bracelet for Lily months and months ago and I needed to give you something better. You’ve been such a light in Harry’s life and honestly in these few short days I’ve loved having you here. I want you to keep the bracelet.” James looked at you with large imploring eyes and extended the bracelet back to you. 
“Oh, thank you so much. You have to know that Harry is my best friend and he’s been amazing. Especially after everything with my father. And I can see where he gets his giving spirit. Thank you again for having me for Christmas this year.” You became aware of how close you and James were on the couch. His hand was on your knee and his breath was warm against your face. He leaned in and kissed you, his hand on the back of your neck. His lips were soft and he was gentle, warm. You pulled away and looked down at the ground. 
“I’m so sorry, I don’t know what came over me. I’ve just…been lonely. But that isn’t an excuse.” James shook his head. 
“I think I’m going to go to bed. Good night.” You scrambled from the room. You reentered your room and tried to think about what had just happened. And then you thought fuck it, you deserved a little guilty pleasure now and again. And before you knew it you were knocking on James’ door, emboldened by the eggnog. 
“I’m glad you’re here. I’m so so sorry-” James started but you wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him hard. He pulled you into the room and shut the door, pushing you up against the door and pulling your jumper over your head. He thread a hand in your hair and tilted your face up a little as he angled his tongue. His hand went down to the waistband of your jeans and fiddled with the button for a moment before sliding his hand down into your panties. 
“So wet for me,” he whispered into your mouth. You were going to give back a smart remark but James pushed two of his nimble fingers into your pussy. You gasped and gripped James shoulder harshly. His thumb found its way to your clit and he started on circular motions as he pumped his fingers in and out of you. His lips made their way to your neck and he was sucking hickeys on your neck that you would curse in the morning but right now all you cared about was James keeping his pace as you approached your orgasm. It hit you like a tidal wave and you were moaning into James’ mouth and begging him for something you weren’t totally sure of. 
He moved you to the large wicker bed that sat in the center of the room. You helped him out of his shirt and unbuckled his pants. You kissed down his chest, along his happy trail, and down to his cock. You took him in your mouth and he moaned lowly, 
“Oh fuck.” He moaned, holding your hair back as you tried to take him as deep as possible. You grabbed his balls lightly and released a strangled, 
“Okay! Okay, I don’t want to cum just yet.” He pulled you off of him and flipped you over so you were beneath him. He pushed himself inside you and you both moaned. 
“You’re so big,” you moaned. 
“You’re so tight,” he moaned back. He was fucking you at a relentless, unforgiving pace. One of his hands was gripping the headboard tightly and the other was alternating between your nipple and your clit. You were approaching your second orgasm of the night and with the way it was building you knew it was going to hit you even harder than the first one. James pulled out completely and slammed back into you and that was it. You orgasm hit you hard and your orgasm triggered James’. He came inside you, babbling thank yous and oh my gods. He pulled out of you and you both laid side by side, breathing heavily and fanning yourselves. 
“We can’t ever tell Harry.” You said, the icy shock of sobriety making you realize the gravity of what you had done. You had slept with your best friend’s dad. That would kill him. James was going to respond when an owl started pecking at the window. James opened the window and untied the piece of parchment wrapped around the owl’s foot. You were able to read it over your shoulder.
James, 
I made a huge mistake. Ring me in the morning?
Happy Christmas
Lily
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mykingdomforapen · 3 months
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chapter 10 of "courage of stars" will be coming next week and guys, I'm so nervous. I am so excited and I'm so nervous. This chapter is many things. It's where I got to do some things I've been really wanting to do. It's where I cross a point of no return in the story. I got to try a different style. It's where the line blurs between fanfic and a genre that I respect and fear.
It's also a huge factor in why this fic is rated M. Hoo boy.
So! In lieu of updating today, so that you won't have to face a three week wait afterwards, here's a fun little drabble/filler episode:
-
When Lu Guang was four years old, he lovingly killed three tadpoles. He had scooped them from the pond in a plastic cup and brought them home happily, convinced he would raise them into froghood. By Thursday, all three of them floated lifelessly in the surface of the bright blue tub in which he housed them. His mother poked them curiously with a chopstick while he sobbed into his grandmother's lap.
"Don't be so sad, Guangguang," Maamaa crooned as she patted Lu Guang's head. "You tried very, very hard. We all know that you did your best." 
"I killed them!" Lu Guang wailed into her skirt. "I just want them to be frogs and now they died!"
"Oh, A Guang," his mother said as she furtively plucked the dead tadpoles into a bundled newspaper for a more discreet funeral. "This is a good learning experience, right? Now you know what not to do with a frog. See, it's good to learn with the wild tadpoles, before you spend money on a pet. You know better for next time not to use tap water."
Lu Guang sobbed louder ("I meant it to be comforting!") until Yeye came home. Maamaa intercepted Yeye before he walked through the door and sent him on a mission to bring home steamed bai tang gao as a consolation, and Yeye beelined to the nearest vendor to bring home a steaming, buoyant cake of tangy sweet rice. Lu Guang chewed on it sullenly on the living room sofa after bidding the dead tadpoles goodbye into the storm drain.
Yeye sighed as he sat next to Lu Guang, stroking his grandson's little head.
"You know," he said, "when I was little, my father raised bees."
Lu Guang blinked up at Yeye with teary eyes.
"Honeybees?" he asked.
Yeye nodded. "My father was a very adventurous man, you know. A scholar, but always enjoyed the outdoors. He got it in his head that he would like to try raising a colony of honeybees. I was so excited to help him. I thought we would have hives and hives of bees, but what do you know! Only a month or so of having the bees, one day they all flew away. The queen said, no more! I was so disappointed."
Lu Guang sniffled. Yeye scratched the back of Lu Guang's head.
"After that, we stuck with chickens," Yeye said lightly. "What do you think of chickens, A Guang?"
Lu Guang shook his head.
"I like frogs," he whispered.
"You want to try raising frogs again?"
Lu Guang nodded. Yeye smiled crookedly.
"Ah, well," he said. "Chickens are smelly, anyway."
-
For Lu Guang's seventh birthday, his parents took him to the pet store.
His mother had promised him a pet frog for when he turned seven, partly because she had assumed he would grow out of frogs in three years' time. She was a woman of her word, though, when she noticed him checking out library books about frog care and frog types when he hit age six. When asked if he wanted to invite friends over to play, he shook his head and asked to go to the pet shop.
So on Sunday when Ba and Ma were off work, they took Lu Guang to the best-rated pet shop in the city, four subway stops away from Peidi University. Lu Guang was shaking with anticipation as he counted down the stops, donning his frog bucket hat in celebration and looking away solemnly when teenage girls cooed at him. All he could think about was his dream coming true.
“Now, A Guang,” his mother said breezily as she took Lu Guang’s hand to wade through foot traffic. “When you pick a frog, you have to make sure it isn’t poisonous, okay? Mommy is afraid of poisonous animals.”
“I don’t want a poison dart frog,” said Lu Guang, albeit with reservation. “They won’t have them in a pet store.” 
He did not know what sort of frogs were available in the pet store that Ma and Ba were taking him. Ba, in all his practicality, had assumed that they would go to one of the street markets and pick up a frog that was meant for the dinnerplate. He expressed mild surprise when they turned left to the subway station, so Lu Guang knew Ba wasn’t going to be any help in asking for clues. 
“All right, Guangguang,” said Ma as she ushered Lu Guang into the pet store. It was a corner shop with clean glass windows, full of tanks and cages and colorful habitat accessories. Colorful parakeets squawked and glittering snakes coiled under sunlamps, and Lu Guang’s little heart began to race with anticipation. “Only one frog, do you understand?” 
Lu Guang nodded, his eyes as wide as coins as he stared up at the tall towers of tanks. There were saltwater coral fish dancing among anemones, drowsy tarantulas (Ma squeaked at the sight of them), sunbathing turtles, bearded lizards, and–
Lu Guang felt his jaw drop. 
An Amazon milk frog. 
It was just at eye level with Lu Guang, so that when he pressed his nose to the glass he was eye to eye with the docile pale blue frog. It perched on a rock under the sunlamp, milky blue and content to stare back at Lu Guang. It was perfectly patterned, gummy blue webbed feet, and a lipless mouth that promised simplicity. 
It was, in short, the most wonderful creature that Lu Guang had ever seen. 
He stood up on his tiptoes to get a closer look at the frog. Its tiny breaths puffed in its throat in a fascinating rhythm. It was like seeing a real-life Doraemon in Lu Guang’s eyes, or Sun Wukong–a fairy-tale celebrity come to life, except instead of comic books it was Lu Guang’s frog encyclopedia. Lu Guang knew its habitat, its life cycle, its favorite foods, and now he could behold one with his own eyes. 
Seven minutes passed, and his mother touched him on the head.
“A Guang, there are other frogs you should look at too,” she said.
Lu Guang shook his head. He pressed his hands against the glass. 
“Aiyah, A Guang, not too close.” 
Lu Guang moved his nose a millimeter away from the glass, leaving a smudge. His mother looked down at him with a crooked smile. 
“Is this the one you want, then?” she said. 
He looked up to his mother and nodded. Ma turned to Ba and tapped the price tag. Ba nodded solemnly and undertook the task of haggling (unsuccessfully) with the store owner. 
“Let’s pick out a tank for him,” said Ma. 
She took Lu Guang’s hand and tugged him towards the habitat shelves, but Lu Guang refused to budge. He glued himself to the spot, maintaining unbreakable eye contact with the milk frog. 
“A Guang, come on, now,” she said. “We have to give him a home, don’t we?” 
Lu Guang huddled closer to the tanks. He was convinced that if he were to let the frog out of his sight, some other seven-year-old boy would swoop down and claim the frog as his own. 
“Ba is buying the frog right now, see?” Ma said, pointing to Ba who was conceding to the original price of the pet store while he pulled out his wallet. “There. Let’s choose a tank.” 
After another minute of convincing, Lu Guang finally followed his mother to pick out a proper tank for his frog. He picked out the soil, cleaned rocks, plants, and water source that would all go into his terrarium, but it wasn’t until Ba handed to Lu Guang a plastic covered cup with his milk frog sitting politely inside did Lu Guang feel the surge of joie de vivre. He hugged the cup to his chest, whispered his thanks to his father, and then burst into tears, precisely in that order.
-
Thanks for indulging me with this little drabble, gang. Who knows, since I'm kind of keeping up this 2 week streak for the rest of the update schedule, you might see the return of Frog Guang's adventures again...after all, if you've been on my tumblr for some time, you may recall that I have a headcanon that Lu Guang has beef with one of his cousins.
Until next week!
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quality-street-rat · 2 years
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The first day y/n is with The Company:
Y/n: *poking around by a stream*
Fili and Kili, popping up behind him: What are you doing?
Y/n, showing them a handful of frogs and a garter snake: Establishing dominance.
Fili: Okay just because we put frogs in people's bedrolls doesn't mean we'll just let you put them in ours.
Y/n: Oh these aren't for you.
Kili: But you said--
Y/n: I'm establishing dominance, yeah. DON'T say anything when Thorin gets mad at you.
Fili, horrified: Those are for THORIN?
Y/n: Yeah. I'm establishing dominance.
Kili: Y/n...what the fuck.
LATER
Thorin: BOYS!!!!
Fili: It wasn't us!
Thorin: THEN WHO--
Y/n: *the only person present smiling*
*dead silence*
Y/n, batting his eyes: I put those by MY bedroll, I simply love frogs. I don't know how they ended up in yours.
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endlingmusings · 10 months
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[ Pepijn Kamminga holds the only Attenborough's long-beaked echidna museum specimen in the world. ]
"Until now, the only evidence that this particular species 'zaglossus attenboroughi' existed was a decades-old museum specimen of a dead animal. "I was euphoric, the whole team was euphoric," Dr James Kempton told BBC News of the moment he spotted the Attenborough echidna in camera trap footage. "I'm not joking when I say it came down to the very last SD card that we looked at, from the very last camera that we collected, on the very last day of our expedition." Dr Kempton headed a multi-national team on the month-long expedition traversing previously unexplored stretches of the Cyclops Mountains, a rugged rainforest habitat more than 2,000m (6,561ft) above sea level. In addition to finding Attenborough's "lost echidna" the expedition discovered new species of insects and frogs, and observed healthy populations of tree kangaroo and birds of paradise. Aside from the duck-billed platypus, the echidna is the only mammal that lay eggs. Of the four echidna species three have long beaks, with the Attenborough echidna, and the western echidna considered critically endangered. Previous expeditions to the Cyclops Mountains had uncovered signs, such as 'nose pokes' in the ground, that the Attenborough echidna was still living there. But they were unable to access the highest reaches of the mountains and provide definitive proof of their existence. That has meant that for the last 62 years the only evidence that Attenborough echidna ever existed has been a specimen kept under high security in the Treasure Room of Naturalis, the natural history museum of the Netherlands."
- Excerpt from "First ever images prove 'lost echidna' not extinct" by Jonah Fisher and Charlie Northcott.
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mrspasser · 9 days
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Craft box - Inception fanfic
I found this comic online (source unknown to me, unfortunately) and then I wrote a fanfic. That's it. I had a lot of fun writing it :-)
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Eames. Eames is the vampire, of course.
Read it below or on Ao3.
Craft box
It’s only the first day. Everything was going so well, too. After all, it’s not like this is the first time he’s looked after James and Phillipa. With a lot of their closest family living in another state or even abroad, he’s kind of like an uncle to them. The fun uncle without any kids of his own and with an impeccable fashion sense. Alright, he’s the gay uncle, so what? That doesn’t mean he can’t look after kids. He’s pretty good at it, he dares say. He knows to cut little James’ sandwich in small triangles, so they’re both bite-sized and fun-sized. He knows how to braid Phillipa’s hair, he even managed to do something that resembled Elsa’s hair. From afar - whatever, the kid was happy. And he’s just served them a nutritious meal, which they even finished to the last bite, so he’s really on top of this babysitting thing. 
Until Crookshanks comes casually wandering into the kitchen with something in his mouth. Something that moves. 
“Crooks has a mouse!” Phillipa calls out and she immediately slides down from her chair at the table to run after the cat. 
Arthur, who is just clearing the table, has about one second to think ‘Oh no’ before things get worse.
“It has wings!” Phillipa announces this like it's a fun novelty instead of a worrying development. She is perched in front of the stairs in the hallway between the living room and the kitchen, where the red shabby haired family pet has decided to lay down with his catch. 
“I ‘anna see!” James almost throws himself down from his high chair and races towards his sister and the cat. 
Arthur would much rather do the dishes than deal with some poor, doomed critter the cat caught, but the horrible vision of James and Phillipa with tiny viscera smeared on their hands spurs him into action. He tosses the tea towel over his shoulder and hurries toward the hallway. “Don’t touch that, kids!” 
He’s relieved to see that the cat still has hold of the critter, the unfortunate animal caught beneath both front paws. James and Phillipa sit in front of the cat, sharing their observations with each other.
“It has very pointy wings.”
“An’ a furry belly.” 
“No, that’s his head, silly.”
From up close, Arthur is stunned to see the animal isn’t all that tiny. And it’s not a mouse at all. It’s a bat. And it’s dead. Thank god.
“Come on, kids, let me through,” Arthur says, gently pushing his way in between the kids. The cat warily watches him approach, but doesn’t move. Arthur is generally on good terms with the Cobb family’s cat and he likes to keep it that way. 
Beneath the cat’s paws is unmistakably a bat: one of its wings pokes out at what’s gotta be an odd and painful angle. The bat is not moving and Crookshanks doesn’t seem to be holding him all that tight. “Yeah, I think he’s dead,” Arthur sighs, not looking forward to what comes next. At least he can dispose of it pretty easily. Could he just chuck it in the trash or should he put it in the compost heap in the back of the yard? If it died outside, it would decompose somewhere on the ground too, right? 
“Aww no,” Phillipa cries mournfully. “Are you sure?”
“Aw you sure?” James parrots her. He isn’t sad, though. He probably barely understands what’s happening and is just happy to be along for the ride.
“I’m sorry, honey, I think so,” Arthur answers and strokes a hand over Phillipa’s hair in comfort. “That’s what sometimes happens in nature. Cats are predators, they hunt.”
“I know,” she replies, perking up already. “Crookshanks has catched a lot of mouses already! And a frog! And two birds! No, three! Three birds!” 
“And now he can add a bat to his tally,” Arthur confirms. The massive, fluffy cat generally demonstrates a pretty laid back attitude inside the house, yet it’s still an animal equipped with claws and sharp teeth and Arthur knows to show deference to that kind of potential power. 
He’s decided that the tea towel should be sufficient for grabbing the dead animal without making his hands dirty. He doesn’t want to go back to the kitchen to look for rubber gloves under the sink, in case Crookshanks gets it in his head to take his prey further into the house and hide it somewhere where Arthur can’t find it and then the whole house will smell of rotting carcass within days. 
Arthur carefully moves in with the tea towel and it must be his lucky day, because the cat is suddenly bored with whatever it is that is happening and stands up and wanders off, not even looking back towards the poor bat it killed. “Oh well,” Arthur shrugs, “that could’ve gone worse.” He’d been prepared to fight the cat for the dead animal, but this is way better. Or it isn’t, because now there is nothing to distract Arthur from the feeling of a dead animal in his hands, tea towel or not. He almost gags, only able to hold it back for the sake of the kids. 
“We should bury it in the backyard!” Phillipa suggests cheerfully. “We can make a… a dead people box, from a - from a real box.” 
“A coffin,” Arthur corrects. “And I don’t think that’s necessary, honey. A bat is a wild animal, not a pet. We don’t need to bury it.” 
He walks towards the trash can in the kitchen. It is nearly full, he can toss the bat in and then take the trash out. Maybe he’ll toss in the tea towel as well. Who knows what kind of germs the bat carries. 
“But I wanna…” Phillipa is gearing up for an argument, both of the kids following Arthur on his heels. 
Except when Arthur reaches the trash can and puts his foot on the pedal to open the lid, the bat suddenly trashes back to life. Arthur may or may not have screamed. The kids know, but who believes a five and a barely three year old when it’s his word against theirs? He also drops the bat. “Fuck,” Arthur says. With feeling. 
“That's a bad word,” James informs him sagely, while his sister dances around him, chanting “It’s alive! It’s alive!”
The bat, who is indeed very much alive, tries to scamper behind the trash can, away from the noisy giants that tried to toss it in the trash and then proceeded to drop it from some height.
“Oh god,” Arthur groans, realising he will now have to touch the bat again to catch it. Maybe he can call in Crookshanks to finish the job?
“Oh no, he’s hurt!” Phillipa has stopped her happy dance to peer behind the trash can. “His wing is all wonky.” 
A quick peek confirms that indeed, the animal’s left wing is not looking too hot. It probably hurts, maybe it would be better to put it out of its misery? 
“We have to take it to the animal doctor!” Phillipa is suddenly taking charge and she disappears into the living room, coming back with an empty shoe box a moment later. It’s adorned with shiny stickers and fuzzy decals; Arthur recognizes it as her craft box and realises that there’s now a mess of stickers and craft paper on the floor in the next room. “We can put it in here!”
There’s no way that Arthur is going to drive to a vet with a probably half dead bat at this time of night. He’d have to pay an arm and leg for a consultation outside office hours, for an animal that’s probably only still on its feet due to a last, desperate burst of adrenaline. 
“Alright, we can put it in the box,” Arthur agrees gently. “But the vet is closed right now, so we’ll have to wait until morning until we can take him.” There’s no use in arguing with Phillipa when she’s like this, she’s too much like her mother for that. And her father. Both parents can be stubborn assholes, if you ask Arthur. However, Phillipa still looks cute when she’s being a pain in his ass, Dom doesn’t have that excuse.
“We’ll put the box in a quiet place so the bat can rest,” he decides, taking the shoebox and the lid from Phillipa. It’s actually kind of convenient that the bat is in the corner behind the trash can: Arthur can close in from both sides with the box and the lid and scoop the animal in without too much of a fuss. There’s flapping and squeaking and some internal cursing (probably both from Arthur and the bat), but he manages. He blows out a deep breath of relief when he can close the lid. 
The shoebox has a round hole on one end, which provides air flow for the animal, but is probably too small for the bat to escape through. It is big enough for a grape to fit through, which is the food they settle on when the kids insist that they feed the poor animal. Arthur doubts if the bat will eat the grape, but he’s not going to go outside to catch insects for the little fucker. 
He’s able to convince the kids that they can put the bat in the laundry room, behind closed doors. He thinks that dying animals have the habit of crawling away somewhere and therefore thinks it better to keep it contained. He does leave the window open on a crack, in case the poor animal manages to get up to the windowsill and prefers to die outside. 
After all that excitement it takes him well over an hour to put the kids to bed and another half an hour to clean up both the kitchen and the contents of Phillipa’s craft box that are strewn over the floor of the living room. When all that is done, Arthur settles down with a large glass of red wine from Mal’s inventory. He’s earned it, he figures. He also hopes the bat will have the decency to die in the course of the night, or at least escape.
***
Before the crack of dawn there are two children jumping up and down beside his bed, exclaiming that they want to go see the bat. Arthur regrets pouring himself the second and third glass of red wine, but rolls out of bed anyway. Both James and Phillipa are early risers and he’s used to getting up early with them when he’s babysitting. He’ll catch up on his sleep when he gets back home in a few days. 
“Alright, alright,” he grumbles, pulling on a bathrobe over his T-shirt and boxers sleeping combo. It’s one of Dom’s, so it’s slightly big on him, but it’s a beautiful shade of night blue and incredibly soft. Maybe Arthur will keep it as payment for all the shit he has to put up with this weekend. He would like to find the sash first, if he’s to keep it. For now, he can just forgo closing the robe. It’s just him and the kids in the house anyway. Just like his sleep, his fashion sense can take a backseat until he gets back home.
James and Phillipa run down the stairs in front of him, excited to go see their little sleepover guest. Who might be dead. Or gone in the wind. Arthur hopes it’s the latter, it would save him having to clean up the body. 
“Wait a second, kids.” He manages to catch up with them before they open the door. “We have to be careful when we open the door, the bat may have escaped the box.” 
Arthur gets the sudden vision of a bat flapping around like crazy in the laundry room and immediately isn’t all that keen on opening the door. But there are two very excited kids crowding him, so he has no other choice. 
He opens the door and - 
“Oh my fucking god!” Arthur does some sort of karate move with his leg and one arm to catch the two kids around the middle and shove them back into the kitchen, slamming the door shut with his free hand.
He tries to catch his breath as his mind races. He knows Dom owns a gun. Where would he keep it? In the safe? Arthur doesn’t know the combination. Where’s his phone? Still on the nightstand next to his bed. Maybe he can use a knife - 
“Why is there a man sitting on the floor of our laundry room?” Phillipa looks between the door and Arthur and back. Then it’s like there’s a little light turning on above her head. “Oh! Is he a vampire?”
Arthur rifles through the kitchen drawers. Do knives even work against vampires? Probably not if they’re made of stainless steel. And the only silver knife he can find in this kitchen is an antique looking butter knife. If that’s even real silver. 
He doesn’t know much about vampires, just that they’re not the bloodthirsty monsters the media painted them as back in the day. Still, he has two little kids and a stranger in his house. A stranger who is a vampire. 
“Hello!” Little James opens the door and waddles inside, taking advantage of Arthur’s spot over by the cutlery drawer. 
“James, no!” Arthur sprints towards the kid, ready to jump between the vampire and the little boy. 
“Hello, laddy,” the vampire says, smiling at the child. “Is your daddy always this nervous?” 
“He’s not my daddy,” James answers blithely in that way little kids have. “That’s A’thur.”
“My daddy says Arthur has a stick up his butt,” Phillipa adds, wholly unnecessary. Arthur only sputters his indignation, too stunned to say much. The vampire huffs a laugh, entirely too amused for someone who may or may not be guilty of home invasion. Sort of. Arthur isn’t too sure of the technicalities on this one.
However, the man sitting on the floor of the laundry room is indeed a vampire. Arthur can see his fangs when the man smirks crookedly at him. It’s kind of charming, in an annoying way. There’s a flattened shoe box beneath his thigh and he’s holding his left shoulder gingerly. 
“Did you dislocate your shoulder?” Arthur asks stupidly, remembering the oddly positioned batwing from the night before. 
“I did,” the vampire nods. “Popped it back in right before you lot stormed in.” 
“Does it hurt?” Phillipa asks.
The vampire smiles at her. “Don’t worry, darling. I’m made of sturdy stuff.” 
Sturdy indeed, Arthur can’t help but think as the vampire gets to his feet with a soft grunt. The man is broad shouldered, with strong thighs and a smattering of hair showing through the opened top buttons of his frankly alarming shirt. It’s a dirty shade of peach, with an eye watering print. Arthur didn’t know they still sold paisley print. If he has to stare at this shirt for a little longer he’ll feel compelled to file an official protest against it.
The vampire looks down and spots the flattened box, making a small noise of distress that Arthur thinks is quite cute. He’s a bit startled by this notion and shakes his head to get rid of it. There’s an unknown vampire in the house and he has to stay vigilant, even though the man doesn’t seem all that dangerous. He discards his ideas of finding a weapon for now, it doesn’t seem necessary in this case. 
“Oh, I’m so sorry, my dear,” the vampire says ruefully to Phillipa. “It seems like I accidentally ruined one of your creations.” He bends over to retrieve the flattened cardboard from the floor, holding his left arm carefully against his stomach so he won’t jostle it too much.
“That’s okay,” Phillipa says genially, taking the box from him. “I can make another one. Mama just bought new shoes, I can use that box.”
“Mister, are you a vampire?” James peers up at the man, studying him intently. 
The vampire inclines his head. “I am. But you can call me Eames, little man.” 
A vampire called Eames, who wears paisley shirts and tan chinos above a pair of slightly ratty loafers. He talks with a British accent too; not the posh one, something more urban probably. He’s the strangest vampire Arthur has ever seen. Not that he has met a lot of them, but still. 
“Are you okay? You look a little peaky.” Now that he’s standing for a few minutes, Arthur can see the hunch in his shoulders and a slight sheen of sweat on his brow. His shoulder must be causing him pain, that much is clear. 
“I’ll be alright, darling.” The vampire winks at him and there’s that crooked smirk again. “But I could do with a drink.”
“You’re not drinking my blood!” Arthur exclaims, rather dramatically. “Nor that of the kids!” He hauls Phillipa and James backwards, instantly wary of the man in front of them. His bathrobe billows around him with the movement.
The vampire lifts his hands apologetically and cocks his head. “Not that kind of drink. A glass of water will do just fine for now.”
“Oh, alright.” Arthur deflates and eyes the vampire critically, as much as he can in his slightly rattled state of mind. The man seems to try and make himself as non-threatening as possible, with a - slightly strained - smile and a casual pose. It could be an act, of course, yet Arthur doesn’t think the vampire means them harm. If he wanted to, he could’ve easily hurt them already. Arthur is by no means an expert on vampires, but he knows they’re stronger than regular humans. They need to drink blood, but can also eat normal food - though he thinks there are some allergies in play. He has the sudden urge to make a deep dive into vampire research. But he can’t, because he has two excited kids and an exhausted vampire to take care of right now. So he makes the executive decision to invite the vampire - Eames - into the kitchen, pointing him to a chair at the kitchen table, which he gratefully sinks down onto. 
“I’ve had better nights, let me tell you,” Eames shares with a grimace, massaging his chest close to his left shoulder with his hand. “Thank you, darling,” he says absentmindedly when Arthur places a glass of water in front of him. 
Arthur decides to chalk the pet names up to the vampire’s Britishness and not pay them much mind. He takes a seat across from the vampire, next to Phillipa who is staring riveted at their unexpected guest. Arthur would’ve expected James to have already lost interest and to wander off into the living room to play with his toys, but the toddler is sitting right next to his sister, equally mesmerised. 
“Are you like a hundred years old?” Phillipa has her elbows on the table and her head in her hands. Arthur doesn’t check, but he bets her feet are swinging beneath the table.
James is sitting on his knees on the chair, leaning his hands on the table. “Do you eat people?” 
“No and no,” Eames says with a chuckle. He’s looking perfectly at ease in the kitchen, despite looking a little haggard. Arthur watches him take a sip of the water.
“Can you turn into a bat?” James asks next, to which his sister makes an exasperated sound.
“Of course he can! You saw him last night! He was a bat!” 
“That was me, indeed.” Another sip of water.
“Why are you a bat?” James again. He’ll probably be talking about this day for the rest of the month, or even the year. Not that there’s much of the year left, it’s November already.
Eames laughs. “Well, the simplest answer would be: because I can. It’s pretty darn cool to be able to fly, you know?” The kids nod excitedly at his words and even Arthur has to admit that it would be cool to be able to fly. “But I also hu-” Eames catches himself in time. “I go look for food as a bat.” 
While the kids grill the vampire for what he likes to eat (surprise, it’s not grapes), Arthur’s mind fills with gruesome images of Eames on the hunt. To be honest, inside his head the vampire looks more like a chupacabra than the innocuous bat Crookshanks brought into the house last night, so it’s a little startling to hear the vampire declare he likes raw steak.
“We have steak! Right, Arthur? We have steak!” Phillipa pulls on his sleeve, reminding Arthur he’s still dressed in Dom’s bathrobe, with his boxers and an old T-shirt underneath. He’s a little horrified, for whole different reasons than when he was imagining chupacabra Eames ravaging an unsuspecting victim. 
“Uh, yes. We do.” He’d taken the kids shopping yesterday and planned to make a steak salad for himself tonight, while the kids ate a dinosaur shaped hamburger with their greens.
“Can Eames have it?” Phillipa bounces in her seat. “I bet he’s hungry! You’re hungry, right?” 
To Arthur’s surprise the vampire is looking a little abashed. “I mean, your cat did interrupt my plans for the night, yes. But you don’t have to feed me! I’ll be fine.”
Arthur is more than happy to take him on his word, but then Phillipa says: “Arthur is a good cook! He can make you something really yummy!” 
“Can I have steak?” James asks, looking at Arthur expectantly.
“You don’t like steak, buddy,” Arthur answers gently. “Remember? You think it’s too chewy. That’s why we bought the dino burgers.”
“Oh, yeah.” James processes this and then proceeds to ask for dino burgers. Of course.
“No, bud. It’s breakfast time. Dino burgers are for dinner.” Arthur glances at the clock, which is at just past seven. He can’t believe he’s been up for an hour already, on a Saturday.
He shoves his chair back, getting up. “I guess I’m making breakfast. No steak for you,” he adds with a pointed stare at little James. “Or dino burgers. You can have cereal.”
He starts gathering ingredients for the kids’ breakfast and turns on the coffee maker. It’s no wonder he feels so rattled, he hasn’t had his coffee yet. “Any for you?” he asks their guest, pausing to see if he has to get one or two cups down from the cupboard.
The vampire shakes his head. “No, thanks. I’ll take some tea if you have it?” 
“Is that on account of being British or being a vampire?”
Eames smiles, his eyes twinkling with amusement. “A bit of both, I guess. These days coffee no longer agrees with my stomach, unfortunately.” Which Arthur guesses is a polite way of saying he can no longer digest coffee. He also deduces that Eames hasn’t always been a vampire and wonders how long it’s been.
He thinks about putting a mug in the microwave to heat up the water, but decides against it, both out of consideration for Eames’ nationality and his own standards. The electric kettle will take a little longer, but at least it won’t incite another civil war. 
Puttering around in the kitchen, getting breakfast ready for the kids and hot drinks for the adults, Arthur is a little slow to realise that the sun has come up. And that the kitchen faces the East. “Oh, shit,” he huffs and hurries to close the blinds. When he turns to face Eames, the vampire is watching him intently, an odd softness around his eyes. It lasts only a moment, until Eames speaks up, quietly.
“Thank you. I won’t burst into flames from the first ray of sunlight, but thanks anyway.”
“Yeah, of course,” Arthur says automatically, putting the bowls of cereal in front of the kids and handing them their spoons. And then: “Oh my god, how are we gonna get you out of here? Do we have to wait until nightfall?”
“Well, you could always just chuck me out if you’re that desperate to get rid of me,” Eames suggests and it sounds just off-handed enough that Arthur doesn’t believe in the vampire’s pretence. 
“I don’t -... I’m not -...” Arthur starts and stops two sentences that he has no idea of how to finish. He sighs and wraps the bathrobe tight around himself. “I’m a little out of my depth here,” he admits. “I have no idea what to do with a strange vampire in my house. Or, not my house, but… Oh, you get what I’m saying!” He throws his hands up and the bathrobe falls open again. 
Eames gets up from the table, rounds it in what Arthur suspects is a sedated pace put on just for him and his frail nerves and comes to stand in front of him. “Not a stranger,” Eames says gently. And he picks up his cup of tea and hands Arthur his coffee. “There you go, love. Careful, that’s hot.” 
The coffee is indeed scaldingly hot down his throat, but it suffices in bringing Arthur back to his senses. “Right,” he says, putting down his cup on the counter. “You take your steak bloody, I presume?” 
He waves away Eames’ protests and grabs the grill pan for the shortest grill he has ever done. The meat has barely a chance to brown before the vampire next to him declares it done. It’s barely seasoned either, again under Eames’ directions. It’s absolutely not done the way Arthur usually prepares his food, but who is he to argue with any dietary restrictions the vampire has?
He plates the steak and is about to hand it to his impromptu guest, when the guy suddenly darts around him, taking up a strategic spot behind Arthur and with the fridge in the corner of the kitchen at his back. “What the -?”
An angry hiss answers his question. It’s Crookshanks, who stalks into the kitchen like the apex predator he actually is. And Eames is afraid of him, even though he is a 5’ 9” adult male right now instead of a small bat.
Arthur can’t help but laugh. It’s all so ridiculous! He hands the plate to Eames without looking, trusting that the man will take it from him and steps forward to scoop Crookshanks up from the ground. “Silly cat,” he admonishes, shaking the bundle of fur in his arms lightly. “You can’t eat Eames. Come on, outside you go!” 
When he comes back into the kitchen, he finds Eames sitting in his spot at the kitchen table, hunched over his plate. The vampire is deliberately not looking at him and the tips of his ears are clearly red. The kids are chattering nonsensically in between bites of their cereal, talking at their new friend but not expecting any real answer.
It’s not until Arthur has made himself some toast and sits down with it, this time next to Eames, that the vampire speaks up again. “If I can use your phone, I can call my friend to see if he can come pick me up.”
“Sure,” Arthur agrees.
After breakfast, Eames calls a friend called Yusuf. Unfortunately, his friend is unable to pick him up right away. “He can be here around noon,” Eames tells Arthur, clearly feeling contrite. 
“And you can’t go out during daylight,” Arthur surmises.
Eames shrugs. “Can’t exactly take the bus home, no. Or, I mean, I can. I’ve done it before, when in a pinch. Though I’d have to borrow a duffel coat, or something.” The vampire seems to shrink in on himself. “I can understand if you want me out of here as soon as possible.”
Strangely, Arthur’s first hunch is to reassure Eames that he’s welcome to stay as long as needed. It surprises him. He’s not one to trust easily and he’s always very protective of his honorary niece and nephew. The man across from him is a vampire and, despite his friendly behaviour, still a potential threat. However, Arthur doesn’t think Eames is a danger to them. He can’t pinpoint exactly what makes him think that, it’s not like the vampire has been very generous with information about himself. Still, the facts speak for themselves. Arthur’s been walking around barefoot, dressed in sleep clothes and a bathrobe, with two small kids in tow, and he hasn’t felt threatened by Eames at all. Well, alright, when he first discovered that there was a vampire in the laundry room he panicked a bit, but that fear was quickly diminished by the - unconventionally charming - way Eames presented himself. It’s hard to stay vigilant when the vampire is so easy going.
“Mr Eames? Do you have to go already?” Phillipa and James have popped up right next to them, James actually grabbing the tail of the vampire’s shirt to get his attention.
Eames shows them a warm smile. “That’s kind of up to Arthur.”
Of course, that only serves in having two sets of puppy eyes aimed at Arthur. They’re practically begging him to give in. Great. Now he has to deal not only with his own oddly lowered defences, but the wiles of two little kids too.
He locks eyes with Eames, just for a second, but it’s enough. “Alright, alright. You don’t have to look at me like that. Mr Eames is welcome to stay until his friend can pick him up.”
The kids cheer and the smile that forms on the vampire’s face is blinding. Arthur can’t help but smile too.
They build a blanket fort in the living room. It’s Phillipa’s idea, she loves blanket forts. It also doubles as protection from the sun for their guest vampire, since the living room doesn’t have black out blinds and the sun is climbing higher in the sky. 
Eames is in the back of the blanket fort, sitting on a pillow with his back against the sofa. Arthur sits next to him, because he might’ve let the vampire stay, he’s not stupid enough to leave the kids alone with Eames. The back of the blanket fort is also the only place that’s big enough to fit an adult. It’s a bit cramped with two adults though. 
The kids are at the entrance of the fort, laying on their bellies and watching Frozen on DVD. Between the kids and Arthur is a serving tray sitting on the floor with glasses of lemonade and a plate of cookies. Arthur has to pull up his legs to prevent himself from kicking over the glasses. He would feel more annoyed about that, if not for the vampire next to him. “This is nice,” Eames said when they first settled in, a hesitant smile on his face and wonder in his eyes. And Arthur just had to agree. 
“So you’ve been a vampire since your early twenties?” Arthur asks and Eames nods. They’ve been talking in lowered voices, neither of them very interested in the enchanted snow man and his two princess friends on screen. “You don’t look like you’re twenty. I thought vampires didn’t age?”
Eames laughs. “That would be nice, wouldn’t it? I bet a lot more people would choose this lifestyle if that were true. But nah, we still age. Just a bit slower.”
“But the sunlight bit is true, right? You said you wouldn’t catch fire, but it still hurts you.”
“Unfortunately.” Eames pulls a face. “I was always very fond of the warmer climates. Turns out, it’s not as fun when you can’t go to the beach.”
“Should’ve thought that through beforehand,” Arthur remarks flippantly, reaching for his glass of lemonade. He’s sat back and taken a drink before he notices the sudden stiffness in the vampire’s posture. When he looks over, Eames avoids his gaze in the dim light of the blanket fort. “Oh, shit. I’ve put my foot in my mouth, haven’t I?” 
“Nah, you’re fine, love. Couldn’t have known.” Eames glances over and away again. “Sensitive topic, that’s all.”
They’re quiet for a bit, watching the movie over the kids’ heads. When Elsa sings her famous song, Arthur catches the vampire mouthing along with the words. “What?” Eames asks defensively. “It’s quite the earworm.”
Arthur smiles and picks up on the chorus, making Phillipa sing along too. Eames has a terrible singing voice, it turns out, but that doesn’t stop him one bit.
They watch some Paw Patrol after the movie ends, and a whole lot of Fireman Sam. Arthur gets up a few times, to help James to the bathroom and to remove Crookshanks from their blanket fort, but he keeps crawling back into the fort, taking his spot next to Eames. At some point, they’ve sagged down to lean against each other, shoulder to shoulder, falling into that odd trance from watching too many kids’ shows. When Arthur argues that the town of Pontypandy should just get rid of Norman, that horrible kid that does nothing but cause trouble, he hardly gets a response from Eames. “Fireman Sam should just push him off a cliff,” Arthur states, only to be met with a soft snore from the vampire. Eames has fallen asleep, his head half on Arthur’s shoulder, half leaning against the sofa seat. Arthur can’t bring himself to move.
When the doorbell rings, around noon as was arranged, it causes enough commotion that Arthur is fairly sure Eames doesn’t pick up on the fact that he’d been sleeping on Arthur’s shoulder just before. Just as well, because Arthur has been eating himself up about it for the past hour and is no closer to knowing what it means and if he even wants it to mean something.
Phillipa and James race for the front door and open it to a round faced man with black curls and a friendly smile. “Hello, you must be Yusuf,” Arthur greets, stepping forward with his hand out. “Arthur Freeman.”
“Nice to meet you,” Yusuf says with a smile and a handshake. “Thank you for putting up with this scoundrel. I hope he hasn’t been too much trouble?” He flicks a meaningful look over Arthur’s shoulder, where Eames is hovering in the doorway of the partially glass walled foyer of the house. “I got your coat,” Yusuf says, holding the black duffle coat he’s carrying over one arm up a little. 
And then there’s the gathering of things - even though Eames didn’t bring anything with him but the clothes on his back - and the saying of thanks and goodbyes. The vampire apologises again to Phillipa for ruining her “beautifully decorated” craft box and promises James to be more on guard when it comes to cats.
Said cat comes wandering into the hall and Arthur has to scoop him up and hold him because the furry bastard seems way too interested in Eames’ pants legs. Yusuf thinks it’s a delight that Eames got caught by a cat who got named after a character from the Harry Potter franchise, because of course the kids happily fill him in on that.
And just like that, Eames is bundled up in the coat, the hood pulled up and ready to go out the door. His eyes lock with Arthur, the kids, Yusuf and the cat between them, and then he is gone. 
Later, after Arthur gets back from taking the kids to the playground to let them get rid of their energy, he finds a handwritten note next to the kitchen phone. It says: Thank you for taking care of me. I didn’t think getting caught by a cat would have its upsides, but meeting you definitely was a big plus. There’s three little x’s at the bottom and a cellphone number. 
That night, Arthur curls up on the sofa with a glass of wine and Crookshanks lying on the seat cushion next to him. He snaps a picture of the sleeping cat and sends it to the number that he programmed into his phone that afternoon. [I’ll keep an eye on him. Safe hunting tonight. X Arthur]
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aygmam · 2 years
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poking a dead frog
henry beard
"you hate to admit it, but it's all luck." 73
james l brooks
"i can't imagine that any writer doesn't suffer from obsessiveness -- a humility that you feel toward your work. writing is not something you do offhandedly. it should continue to mean as much to you after years of doing it as it did when you first started. i sort of think it's supposed to be ever humbling."
rule of if you hear something three times while doing research you believe it to be generally true
if someone writes a good script, it will eventually be read
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Hi! I had the Outsiders prompt and that works for me! If you ever have the chance to watch it I highly recommend it especially the new musical! Speaking of musicals while I’m not sure you’re into them there is talk of the Lost Boys becoming a musical and the trailer looked promising! Thank you again and I’m so sorry for picking something you’ve never seen before! <333
I'm glad! I'll go and see if I can find it on YouTube/Spotify, I absolutely love musicals! I know they're working on a new musical for the Lost Boys, with music from a band (I've forgotten their name) but like three years ago G Tom Mac released a lost boys musical concept album and honestly - that version of Cry Little Sister is so good? It is a bloody shame that the whole album wasn't on Spotify anymore last time I checked. And they had this song that the Frogs were supposed to sing, "when all the damn vampires are dead," and it was a jam, seriously.😅
Thank you for requesting! No need to apologise for your initial request, hon! I hope you like this💜
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You would have thought that growing up with four older brothers would have prepared me for a life with four boyfriends. I was used to people coming into my personal space, used to people stealing my stuff, stealing my food, poking fun at me. I had seriously thought that having brothers would prepare me for living with said four boyfriends, but in all honesty, it didn't. I didn't think so, anyway.
No, take David, for instance. He could be the sweetest person in the whole world, but sometimes? Sometimes, he would be insufferable. Playing mind tricks on me to mess with me, laughing at my expense whenever I didn't want to eat any worms, maggots, or beatles.
It reminded me sometimes of my oldest brother, who would jokingly hold worms on a stick in front of me, daring me to eat it. Of course, this was when we were little. I had been four, and my brother had been ten. Once, he had actually convinced me to eat it, but mom had gotten so angry and worried that we spent the rest of the afternoon in the hospital. I never felt the need to prove myself to my brother again, and ever since that day, I'd sworn off impressing others by doing stuff I didn't want.
Maybe my eldest brother had prepared me, just in a way I didn't expect. After all, David could try all he wanted to have his twisted idea of fun, but I wouldn't budge. I smiled at the thought, realising that he might find me at times just as infuriating as I found him at times.
When I was younger, my second eldest brother would always play wrestle with me. It started when I was six, and a girl at school had begun to bully me. My brother noticed and took me out to the backyard that same afternoon. He said he'd help me stand up for myself, and he taught me how to fight back. How to hold my own. I liked it in such a way that my parents agreed to let me take actual classes.
It was that skill set, initially taught to me by my brother, that absolutely excited Marko. He was always ready for a fight and to have someone next to him who not only could fight but didn't mind getting into fights? He loved it. So sometimes, when either he or I were in an explosive mood, we'd go to the boardwalk and pick fights, just for the fun of it. And if we couldn't find anyone, we would go against each other. Often, those moments lead to more passionate encounters, but still.
If it hadn't been for my brother, I was certain it would have taken more for me and Marko to become close.
My third oldest brother, who was three years older than me, had always been obsessed with music. He always picked what would be played in the car on road trips, always handed me the tapes and cassettes he didn't want to listen to anymore. My brother and I definitely bonded over that music, and now I realised that it helped me bond with Paul. Hell, it was the sole reason I met the boys.
After all, I had been working in a record store at night when Paul came in, asking whether or not we had the latest Springsteen album. We did, and after I sold it to him, we kept talking. About the Doors and the Beatles - whether or not the white album was worth the hype - about singers we thought were got and who we thought had the best songs. We talked for hours, and the night ended with an invitation to join him and his friends at a concert the next evening.
I'm glad I went. I was encouraged to go by my youngest elder brother, who was beyond happy that I was meeting someone I liked. He had always been supportive. Whether I wanted to talk about my crushes on boys or girls, he had always understood and always been open to it. He helped me get ready, forced me out of the door when nerves threatened to keep me inside, and in the end I met up with the boys.
And then there was Dwayne, the last of my four boyfriends, and quite possibly the easiest to hang out with. He wasn't big on mind tricks, wasn't big on fights - as much as I loved them - wasn't as loud as the others. With him, it didn't matter what you did, as long as it was done together. It was comfortable and often just very lovely. I could just be - and nothing else was expected.
As I looked at them, my boys, knowing I was theirs and they were mine, I couldn't help but feel as if my brothers had prepared me for a live they could never know about. Not since David had offered to turn me, and I agreed. Once I fully turned, I could never see my brothers again. But knowing what they taught me and what I took along with me - the lessons I learned from them - it brought a smile to my face. It was comforting to know that I always carried a piece of my brothers with me, even if they were no longer there.
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hunted-moth · 4 months
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 Just Like Him Chapter Two: Swimmin' With The Frogs
Wordcount // 8k
Summary // When Lori's husband and Carl's dad show up after being thought dead, everything changes. 
Warning // Language, Talks of death, violence, violence against women(Carol&Ed), the killing of walkers, 
OTHER STUFF//It is really dialogue-heavy with a lot of it coming straight from the show
A/N // This was gonna be one chapter but I just couldn't physically do it anymore lol. Good lord this took forever to edit, the fact that i wrote the other chapter, had school stuff, and WORK! jesus guys. So sorry this took forever lmao 
***: Major time Skip/scene change
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~~~The Quary Day Four~~~
The sun shown through the tents windows waking you up finally. You sat up, rubbing your tired eyes and looked around expecting to see Carl or Lori but their beds were empty. You stood up and put your shoes on and walked out of the tent walking down the small tral to camp fires.
There you saw Lori sitting down doing something while Carl played by himself by a car not to far away.
You walked up and sat down by her “Morin’ Lori” you said in a tired tone.
“Moring hun, how did you sleep?” she was checking on something in a cast iron pot.
“I slept okay I guess” You rubbed your eyes while sitting down beside her.
“Yeah I bet we couldn't wake ya up so we just let you sleep” she teased. You noticed a girl walking up to you two holding a red bucket.
“Any luck?” Lori asked, putting the lid on the pot. As she was walking up Lori grabbed a small metal bowl and a wooded spoon. The girl poured mushrooms into the bowl.
“How do we know if they’re poison?” Lori gave an unknowing look, you knew though.
“Uhh, there's only one sure way I know of” You waited for her to tell her, but she just started to fiddle with one.
“Ask Shane when he gets back?” The girl said Lori nodded “Yeah you got it” Lori got up taking the red bucket with her “Umm, I'll be right back Y/n, you think you two could keep an eye on that for me?” you both nodded your heads while she walked away.
You just kinda sat and looked at the fire when a voice interrupted, “I don't suppose you know if a mushroom is poisonous or not huh?” the blonde girl had asked you.
“Oh umm, yeah I do,” you said awkwardly, you grabbed the bowl and sat next to her “If a mushroom has white gills or white spots on its camp it's more than likely poisonous” You looked at her before you picked up a Mushroom.
“see this one is good because it has brown gills and doesnt have a bulb at the bottom” you sat it aside, and picked up a different one “but this one is bad, see? It has white gills and a bulb”
You looked at her again “Okay so these ones are bad?” She picked out four of them and showed them to you, you nodded your head “Yeah” she smiled “Wow, how do you know this stuff?” she gleamed at you.
“My dad taught me,” Her eyes seemed to light up “My daddy taught me and my sister how to fish” She smiled at the memory of her father “OH I never introduced myself, Im Amy” she smiled “and my sister is Andrea, were from Florida” 
“Im Y/n, im from western Georgia” You smiled at her, and you looked up at the sky to see it was a cloudy morning “You think it’s gonna rain?” you asked her, she looked up to the sky.
“I don’t know, it could” She looked back down and started stirring the pot, she looked sad and like her mind was somewhere else now. You decided to wander around camp eventually ending up by Dale’s side, watching him work on the RV.
“What are you doing Dale?” you asked, he lifted his head to look at you. He smiled a little bit.
“Oh nothing, me and Jim are just working on the radiator hose on the RV” who you guessed was Jim waved at you before going back to work. “It likes to quit on us a lot, which isn't good if we need to leave for whatever reason.” he explain to you.
“Oh, hopefully, we won't need to leave soon” You watched him as he poked and prodded at the thing, trying to figure out why it wouldn't work.
“Hey uhh, Y/n could ya hand me that wrench?” you looked down at the small amount of tools he had and reached down for the wrench.
“Yeah, here you go” he took the tool from you “Why do you have little tools?” you asked, you'd figured he’d have a lot more 
“Ahh well, I let the supply people barrow them, but now I kinda wish I just kept them, but they’re supposed to be back today so it’s not a big deal” You nodded your head in understanding “So how’s that book coming along Y/n? You like it so far?” he turned his head to face you 
“It's okay, im almost done with it, maybe a chapter or two left” You read a few chapters last night while you tried to fall asleep, maybe thats why you slept in.
“Dale got you reading that Case of the missing man?” Jim spoke up, you nodded your head when he looked at you, and he laughed “Dale been getting people to read that book since he’s got here” Dale rolled his eye while Jim moved closer to you “Between you and me, I think he’s been trying to get rid of it” he laughed and so did you.
“Alright, alright get back to work” Dale waved his hands dismissively with a smile. You watched as he continued to mess with the engine “Boy, this hose isn't long for this world is it?” Dale commented 
“No, sir” Jim responded dejected
“Where the hell are we gonna find a replacement” Dale said with an annoyed tone, in the background, you could see Amy pacing back and forth. She looked antsy 
“It's late” her voice was full of worry “They should've been back by now”, you and Dale looked up at her as she paced back and forth
“Worrying won't make it better” dale said but she just stormed off in anger, you got up to go find Lori, to see if Amy's fear was justified and if you guys should go out looking for them.
You found her taking clothes off the line and stood by her, she was watching Shane and Carl do something but you couldn't see due to their back being to you, but they were laughing.  
“He–” you were cut off by another voice coming over a radio 
“HELLO, BASE CAMP! CAN ANYBODY HEAR ME”
Shane and Lori walked off toward the RV where another radio system was, Dale was already on the RV by the time you all got there
“BASE CAMP! THIS IS T-DOG, ANYBODY HEAR ME?”
Dale got on the radio “Hello, Hello, reception bad on this end, Repeat Repeat” 
“SHANE IS THAT YOU” t-dog’s voice carried over the radio
“Is that them?” Lori asked, the radio crackled before T-dog's voice came over again
“WERE IN DONW DEEP SHIT RIGHT NOW, WERE TRAPPED IN THE DEPARTMENT STORE,” “he said their trapped” Shane committed the obvious
“GEEKS ALL OVER THE PLACE, HUNDREDS OF ‘EM WERE SURROUNDED” T-dog voice cut out
“T-dog, Repeat that last, Repeat” All he got was static. Everyone stood around in silence, not knowing what to do.
“He said the department store” Lori repeated what he said, Dale agreed with Lori and so did you. Shane looked defeated like he knew what was gonna happen “Shane” Lori started but Shane interrupted her
“No way, we do not go after them” he looked around at everybody “We do not risk the rest of the group, y’all know that” Lori looked at him with eyes of disbelief. But Amys was worse
“So we're just gonna leave her there?!” Amy looked pissed and Shane could sense she was gonna blow up, “look, Amy, I know this is not easy–” Amy cut him off “she volunteered to go, to help the rest of us” Shane just nodded his head in some kind of mock understanding.
“And she knew the risks, right?” Amy just looked at him with wide eyes “See if she’s trapped, she’s gone. So we just have to deal with that, there's nothing we can do” Her wide eyes narrowed at him in rage.
“She’s my sister, you son of a bitch!” she stormed off giving him the side eye. Lori and Shane stared at each other before Lori ran off to find Amy. 
It was quiet around camp, the not knowing if they were gonna live, and the fact no one could do anything about it. You were torn yourself, obviously, you wanted them to come back but sending people to get them could be for nothing, and in turn, endangering them instead. 
*
A few hours passed and everyone was still at a standstill on what to do. Amy sat in her and Andreas tent, still pissed at about not being able to go and help, with Lori trying to console her, at some point Lori gave up because she came out with an exhausted look on her face.
You were sitting with Shane, Carl, and Lori. She was giving Carl a haircut while you tried to finish your book, you only had a handful of pages left before you were finally done. You looked and saw Jim stringing up cans on some barbed wire around the camp. 
“Baby the more you fidget, the longer it's gonna take, so don't okay” she lectured Carl, 
“Im trying, but why do I have to get a haircut? And why doesn't Y/n have to?” he pointed to you “Well Y/n is a girl, so she can have her hair,” she countered his argument, “and if she wants a haircut she can ask” You shook you head playfully when she looked in you direction.  
“You think this bad, wait till you start shaving” Shane was cleaning his gun “That stings, that day comes when you wishin’ for one of yer momma’s haircuts” Carl just rolled his eyes
“I'll believe that when I see it” Shane and Lori just laughed, “Tell you what, you get through this with some manly dignity, and tomorrow I'll teach you and Y/n something special” he leaned in like he was telling a secret, so you leaned in to “I will teach you guys to catch frogs,” your face dropped in disappointment though.
“I already know how to catch a frog,” you said “Yeah, I already caught frogs” Carl agreed with you. 
Shane just laughed “I said Frogs, plural” he straightened his back “And it is an art form, my tiny friends, and is not to be taken lightly” You smirked at his cockieness “There are ways and means. Few people know about it. I'm willing to share my secrets.” you and Carl looked to Lori.
“Oh im a Girly girl, you talk to him” She directed your attention to Shane again “it's a one-time offer, guys... not to be repeated” he continued to clean his shotgun like he didnt care for your ansrew, but you saw his little smirk. 
You got a curious look on your face as a thought popped into your head.
“Why do we need frogs Plural?” you asked with a confused voice. Shane had a mischievous look on his face.
“You guys ever eat frog legs?” Carl got a disgusting look on his face. “They’re okay, not a lot of meat on ‘em” you shrugged.
“EWW, you’ve eaten frog legs?” he replied, you nodded your head when Shane responded.
“NO, yum!” he tried to counter but Lori agreed with Carl, “No, He’s right eww” Shane just laughed some more, elbowing you to join in
“When you get down to that last can of beans, you're gonna be loving those frog legs, lady. I can see it now” Shane began to tease Lori, putting on a girl's voice "Shane, do you think I could have a second helping, please? Please? Just one?" you and Carl began to laugh at his impression of lori.
Lori just gave him a look with shocked laughter “Yeah I doubt that”, she continued cutting Carl's hair “Yeah, don't listen to her man, you, me, and Y/n will be heroes! We’ll feed these folks cajun-style Kermit legs” you shook your head and tried to finish your book
“I would rather eat Miss Piggy” You looked up from your book and laughed “Yes that came out wrong”
“Heroes Kids, spoken of in song and legend. You two, Y/n and Carl.” he winked at Carl and you, “Think about it” You guys were laughing quietly when in the distance you heard, what sounded like a car alarm. 
Shane got up and so did you and Lori. you all rushed to the main area to see Dale ontop of the RV “talk to me, Dale! What do you see?”
“Can't tell yet” he yelled down to Shane, Shane took his rifle and walked over to look at the quarry ridge. A hopeful Amy asked if it was the supply group. “I'll be damned” Dale looked through his binoculars.
“What is it?” Amy asked, you tried your best to see but the trees and rubble made it hard from where you were “A stolen car is my guest” Dale thought aloud. The alarm got louder and louder before it finally pulled up into camp. It was a red sports car, an expensive one you guessed. 
The door opened to reveal the driver, who happened to baseball movie guy, he had a huge smile on his face, not knowing people were about to be yelling at him.
“Holy crap, will you turn that thing off” Dale badgers him, He just laughs it off “I don't know how to”
Then Amy and Shane are on him, “My sister, Andrea” “Pop the hood Please, POP THE DAMN HOOD PLEASE” “Is she okay? IS SHE OKAY" they both end up yelling at him.
“What? Okay okay. Yeah yeah yeah. Yeah yeah!” he got in the car popping it open but Amy wouldn't leave him alone about her sister “YES, shes okay, shes okay” you could tell he was already getting overwhelmed “Is she coming back?” amy persisted “yes” Glesnn said with a heavy sigh.
Shane managed to shut it off when he slammed the hood shut with annoyance.
“Why isn't she with you?” Amy was getting desperate “Where is she? She's okay?” he gave a final yes “Everybody is okay” he gave a cringing face “Well Merle not so much” glenn whispered under his breath. Now that everybody calmed down Shane could finally unleash on Baseball guy.
“Are you crazy, driving this wailing bastard up here? Are you trying to draw every Walker for miles?” Shane scolded Glenn but Dale came to his defense “I think we’re okay” but that just irritated Shane more “You call being stupid okay?”
 Dale, being levelhead, explained to Shane that the alarm was echoing all throughout the hills, so it be hard to find the origin of the noise for them, Shane gave him an annoyed look. So Dale did end up chewing out glenn.
“Sorry” he looked around awkwardly “Got a cool car” he tried to lighten the mood, but all he got were flat faces. From behind him, you saw a huge truck pull in, it looked like a movers truck. He looked back and gave a sly grin.
You were standing close by Dale when the truck pulled in. The first person you saw was who you assumed was Andrea 
“Amy” they ran towards each other with tears in their eyes. A man appeared and two younger children ran to him hugging him too. 
All the people who went eventually came out of the truck, and from the corner of your eye you saw Lori take Carl aside to talk to him, he looked like he was holding back tears. 
“You are a welcomed sight for sure,” Dale said as he hugged the father, “I thought we had lost you folks for sure”. Shane kept his eyes on Lori and Car.
 “How y’all get out of there anyway?” Shane asked, the baseball guy piqued up “New guy, he got us out” There was someone else new, maybe you won't feel so alone now. Shane gave him a strange look “New guy?”
“Yeah, crazy Vato just got into town” the father explained “Hey, helicopter boy! Come say hello” he yelled to the “new guy”.And oiut came a man dressed in a sheriff's uniform, he had an uncertain look on his face “Guys a cop, like you” the dad continued. Shane looked at him with disbelief, like he just saw a ghost. 
New guy also had a look of disbelief. His eyes were watery too. “Oh my god” he started to walk forward and Carl started to run towards him, Lori not too far behind. “DAD, DAD” you could hear Carl's shrill voice yell, this new guy was Carl's dad, the same man he told you was dead.
They meet in an embrace, hugging each other like their lives depended on it. He picked him up and walked over to Lori who stood there shell-shocked. She eventually hugged him with tears in her eyes. The new guy and Shane locked eyes and they smiled.
***
“Disoriented.” he exclaimed  “I guess that comes closest. Disoriented. Fear, confusion… all those things but”  he licked his lips “Disoriented comes closest.”. It was night and you watched as Lori and Carl were in Ricks– as you come to learn– arms. Everyone was in their family's arm, it just made you feel even lonelier now without yours. 
“Words can be a meager thing” Dale explained, “sometimes they fall short”. Rick nodded his head and continued “It felt like i was ripped out of my life and put somewhere else” you gazed at the fire “For a while I thought I was trapped in some coma dream, something I might not wake up from ever.” Lori was brushing Carl’s hair, like your mom use to do.
“Mom said you died” Carl spoke up in a quiet voice, rick nodded his head in understanding when he looked at his wife “She had every reason to believe that” he looked at his son “Don't you ever doubt it” Lori spoke up about it after looking around
“When things got really bad, the hospital told me that they were gonna medivac you to Atlanta, but it never happened,” she said in a small sad voice.
“Well im not surprised after Atlanta fell,” Lori nodded “and from the look at that hospital it looked like it got overrun” he had a disgusted look on his face, if it looked anything like that super market you'd probably have the same face to.
“Yeah,” Shane scoffed “Looks don't deceive I barely got them out” Shane spoke up. Rick smiled gratefully at Shane, “I can't tell you how grateful I am to you, Shane. I can't begin to express it.” Rick exclaimed Greattfully, Dale laughed “There go those words falling short again, Paltry things” Dale committed, things got quiet again as the Grimes family embraced each other. 
“Hey Lori, I think im gonna sleep outside tonight” Lori looked at you “Why is that hun?” you shrugged your shoulders “Just feel like it, its nice out you know” the truth was, you would feel like an outsider sleeping in their family tent.
Lori's face scrunched up “Are you sure you want to sleep outside?” you  nodded your head, but Dale spoke up “Why don't you sleep in the RV hmm?” you looked at Dale with big eyes.
“You sure?” he nodded his head, “thanks” you smiled at him. He reminded you of your grandpa.
In the distance you could hear wood clattering and then wood being thrown into a fire, you looked behind you to see a big man sitting back again with a bigger fire,
“Hey Ed, you want to rethink that Log?” Shane yelled to him. The big guy just yelled back, still sitting down “It's cold man”. The more you looked the more you realized that was Sophia's family. “Cold doesn't change the rules does it?” Shane shouted back “Keep out low, just embers so we can't be seen from a distance, right?” 
It was a good rule to have, but Ed didn't seem to care “I said it’s cold, you should mind yer own business for once” he shouted back, Shane got up and walked over to Ed. The air was tense and everyone was quiet. You couldn't hear what was said since he was whispering. 
When he came back to his spot Dale spoke what was on his mind, “Have you given any thought to Daryl Dixon?” Daryl was still on his hunting trip in the woods so he didn't know anything yet “He won't be happy to hear his brother was left behind.” you agreed with Dale, if your brother was left behind you'd be pissed as well.
T-dog spoke up, saying he’d tell the other Dixon what happened, which turned into a debate on who should tell him between T-Dog and Rick, but Glenn spoke up about how it would look better if Rick told him since he was white, as opposed to T-dog who was black. 
“I did what I did, Hell if im gonna hide from it” You gave props to T-dog for being brave. But Amy spoke up “We could lie” That was also a good idea you thought, but Andrea thought otherwise “Or tell the truth, Merle was out of control,” she brought up “Something had to be done or he’d have gotten us killed” andrea leaned forward to talk to Lori.
“Your husband did what was necessary, and if Merle got left behind it was nobody's fault but Merles” she finished her thought. But Dale disagreed 
“And thats what we tell Daryl?” you looked around dumbfounded “I don't see a rational discussion to be had from that, do you?” he looked to Andrea “Word to the wise we’re gonna have our hands full when he gets back from his hunt” Dale was being realistic, which was good, cause either way the outcome would lead to an upset Daryl.
“I was scared and I ran, im not ashamed of it” T-dog stated, Andrea just agreed and asked why it was relevant “I stopped long enough to chain that door. Staircase is narrow. Maybe half a dozen geeks can squeeze against it at any one time. It's not enough to break through that” he explained “Not that chain, not that padlock.” he rambled on “My point Dixon's alive and he's still up there, handcuffed on that roof. That's on us” T-dog walked away, probably to his tent to go to sleep.
*
After a while everyone went to sleep, before you went to the RV you stopped by the tent and grabbed all your stuff, you said goodnight to Lori and walked to the RV. When you walked in Dale called you back, walking down the hall you stopped in the doorway to see Dale setting up a bed for you, “it's not much but it's something, I uhh even put up a curtain for ya here” Sure enough you saw a curtain split down the middle separating the room in half.
“Thanks,” you smile. You set your stuff down and lie on the stiff bed. Outside you could hear the thunder roll in again from earlier. You looked outside the window to see the rain hit the window. The sound of the rain helped you drift off to sleep.
~~~The Quary Day Five~~~
The next morning you woke up early and looked for Carl and Sophia. You wanted to explore the area a bit more and you got the okay from both Lori and Carol. You found both of them at a little round table.
“Hey do you guys want to go explore?” they looked at you with wide faces “I already asked your moms, and they said it was okay” they both replied with ‘yeah’s’, they got up from their spots and followed you. You decided to go through a trial that leads to the woods, you were hoping to find some deer or any kind of bigger game.
As you three walked the trail you started to smell something awful, your first thought was an animal died nearby, but the closer you got the more you started to hear the horrible gurgles of blood from an eater. You pulled back the leaves to see an eater feasting on dead deer.
Carl and Sophia screamed and backed away, they yelled for their parents as you backed away grabbing an arrow from your quiver, notching it in your bow aiming it at the eater to make sure it didn't attack you or the other kids. 
“Stay behind me” they continued yelling, you were shocked the eater wasn't drawn to the screams.
You heard Lori's cries and looked back to see everyone running towards you three. The men had weapons and ran past you when you pointed in the direction of the thing. You followed not far behind. They all circled the eater with weapons ready, they pushed you back to protect you but if you needed to you could still shoot it.
The thing finally seemed to notice you all and stood, it stared at Rick before it lunged at him, but someone batted it away. The thing fell to the floor and everybody started beating on it. All taking turns. Finally, Dale took an axe to it, cutting its head off. Everybody seemed to calm down after that.
“Thats the first one we’ve had up here” Dale exclaimed with an exhausted voice “They never come this far up the mountain” he looked around shocked.
“They’re running out of food in the city, that's what” Jim replied.
Everyone just looked at it in disgust and confusion when they heard rustling in the forest. You aimed your bow in the direction of the noise as it got louder and louder.
When out from behind a tree you saw Daryl walking out with his crossbow. Shane just scoffed when he saw him. 
“Son of a bitch.” he cursed “That's my deer! Look at it.” he walked up to it, then looked at the eater “All gnawed on by this” he started kicking it “Filthy! disease-bearing! motherless poxy bastard!” 
Dale tried to calm him down “Calm down son, thats not helping” but it just pissed him off more.
“What do you know about it, old man?” he got up in Dales's face “Why don't you take that stupid hat and go back to "on Golden Pond"?” he insulted him, you wanted to laugh but it wasn't the right time.
“I've been tracking this deer for miles. Gonna drag it back to camp, cook us up some venison.” He keeled down to take his bolts “What do you think? Do you think we can cut around this chewed-up part right here?” he asked looking at the others.
“Would not risk that” Shane replied, Daryl just sighs “That's a damn shame. I got some squirrel” he grabbed the rope holding them “about a dozen or so. That'll have to do.”. He began to walk off when out of the corner of your eye you saw the rotter's head move “Oh god” Amy and Andrea walked off.
“Come on people” Daryl noticed this and shot it in the face “it gotta be the brain, don't y’all know anything?” he walked off with his now bloody bolt. You all followed him back to the main area. You could see Lori and Carol comforting Carl and Sophia.
“Merle,” nothing “MERLE, get yer ugly ass out here” Dayrl continued walking “I got us some squirrel lets Stew ‘em up” he began to look around for his brother, and the other caught up to him. “Daryl, slow up a bit, I need to talk to ya” Shane called out to him
“About what?” he stopped in front of the RV, Shane continued to walk up to Daryl “About Merle. There was a” he paused “There was a problem in Atlanta.” Daryl froze, and looked around, “He dead?” he asked. Shane shrugged his shoulders “We're not sure” he looked at Daryl. You could begin to see Daryl get mad
“He either is or he ain't” he began to circle Shane, with the rest all catching up. 
Rick decided to speak up “No easy way to say this, so I'll just say it” Rick started but was cut off by Daryl “Who are you?” he said with snark as Rick walked up to Daryl.
“Im Rick Grimes” he introduced himself, Daryl scoffed a bit “Well Rick Grimes, you got something you wanna tell me?” Rick stood in front of Daryl “Your brother was a danger to us all,” he started “So I handcuffed him on a roof, hooked him to a piece of metal. He's still there” You moved closer to Dale, more like behind him just in case 
“Hold on. Let me process this.” he began to pace back and forth a bit “You're saying you handcuffed my brother to a roof and YOU LEFT HIM THERE?!” he yelled at Rick, who just stood there, taking it. Rick hung his head low “Yeah”
Daryl stepped back, looking rick up and down, with a scowl that could scare an eater. With a grunt, he threw the squirrels at Rick and started to charge him but Shane intercepted it. T-dog noticed it and came running. While on the ground you noticed Daryl pull his knife out and get up
He began to swipe at Rick, before Rick grabbed his arm and made him drop the knife Shane came up on him from the other side. They rustled him down to the ground “BEST LET ME GO!” he yelled, trying to fight the hold Shane had on him. Shane eventually got him in a chokehold, one that Daryl said was illegal.
Daryle eventually stopped fighting, rick got into his face “I'd like to have a calm discussion on this topic. Do you think we can manage that?” he looked to Shane “Do you think we can manage that?” Shane nodded his head, and after a minute Daryl mumbled the best yes he could before Shane let him go. 
Daryl was still on the ground when Rick got up close with him again “What I did was not on a whim. Your brother does not work and play well with others.” he explained when T-dog spoke up “It's not Rick's fault. I had the key. I dropped it” he admitted
“Couldn't pick it up” Daryl retorted back to him with snark.
“Well, I dropped it in a drain” T-dog admitted, daryl rolled his eyes and scoffed before he stood up, throwing dirt at T-dog “it supposed to make me feel better it don’t!” 
“Yeah well, maybe this will” T-dog stood by Shane, it made you wonder if he stood there in case Daryl tried to lunge at him too “I locked the chain to the door so the geeks wouldn't get at him” he looked at Daryl “with a padlock, that's gotta count for something right?”
Daryl just looked around, and wiped his eyes, “the hell with all y’all” he cursed you all “Just tell me where he is so I can go get ‘em” he looked to Rick but Lori was the one to answer 
“He’ll show you, isn't that right?” they both looked at Lori, her voice and tone were almost taunting, but you guessed Rick didn't see it like that
he looked around for a moment, “I’m going back”, Lori just stormed back into the RV. daryl scoffed and walked away. Everybody just stood around, not knowing what to do. Rick walked off to his tent, picking up his clothes on the way.
*
You tried to comforter carl but you have still shaken up yourself. You made sure to never be that close to an eater since you got split from your family. You would jump at evey small noise coming from the woods, every heavy breath sounded like one of them, and when lori grabbed your hand it made you jump.
“Its just me hun, You're okay” She rubbed your arm gently and spoke softly “what you did was very brave but its okay if you’re scard” you reflected on what she said and looked away ashamedly.
“I didnt even do anything though, Daryl was the one that killed the ‘poxy bastard’” you huffed and crossed your arms. You were a coward, you couldn't even kill it when it’s back was to you. 
“You're still a kid, I didn't expect you to kill the thing, but you made sure Carl and Sophia were safe, and that's brave” You nodded your head and smiled softly. From down the hill, you could hear Shane talking to someone, he seemed to be heated
“Could you throw me a bone here, man? Could you just tell me why?” Rick and Shane came into view “Why would you risk your life for a douchebag like Merle Dixon?” Daryl looked at Shane with annoyance 
“Hey, choose your words more carefully,” Daryl warned him but Shane just rolled his eyes “No I did, douchebag is what I meant” he stared at Daryl with judgment “Merle Dixion, The guy wouldn't give you a glass of water if you were dyin’ of thirst.” from what you experienced when you first met merle that comparison checked out.
You looked to Lori again as they continued fighting. You could tell she was getting more and more annoyed, but you were to engrossed in the conversation.
“so you and Daryl,” everybody looked at her “thats your big plan?” Rick looked at Glenn “Oh come on” he sighed, 
“You know the way, you've been there before, in and out no problems” Rick explained “You said so yourself. It's not fair of me to ask” he paused “I know that, but I'd feel a lot better with you along. I know she would too” rick looked to Lori.
Shane went on about how Rick was risking three men now, but T-dog spoke, about how he wanted to come to. Daryle just scoffed at him, asking why, T-dog just said he wouldn't understand.
“That's four,” Dale said aloud, Shane just paced back and forth “It's not just four. You're putting every single one of us at risk. Just know that, Rick.” He pointed a finger at Rick “Come on, you saw that Walker. It was here. It was in camp. They're moving out of the cities.” he proclaimed  “They come back, we need every ablebody we've got. We need 'em here. We need 'em to protect the camp.” 
rick started going on about how he had a bag of guns, and how he dropped them in the city. All kinds of guns, from shotguns to handguns. And about 700 rounds of ammo.
“You went through hell to find us” Lori started, her voice getting angrier “Yo-you just got here, and now you gonna turn around and leave!?” you could tell Carl was getting worried about his dad, “Dad I-I don't want you to go” rick looked conflicted now. 
“To hell with the gun. Shane is right. Merle Dixon? He's not worth one of your lives, even with guns thrown in.” Rick walked closer to you guys, stopping at Lori as she stood up “Tell me. Make me understand.” Lori argued, 
“I owe a debt to a man I met and his little boy. Lori, if they hadn't taken me in, I'd have died.” He explained the best he could to her “It's because of them that I made it back to you at all. They said they'd follow me to Atlanta. They'll walk into the same trap I did if I don't warn him.” Rick pleaded with Lori
“What's stopping you?” She crossed her arms and looked down.
“The walkie-talkie, the one in the bag I dropped.” Lori couldn't even look at him “He's got the other one. Our plan was to connect when they got closer.” he finished
Shane asked if it was ‘our walkies’, and Rick said yes. Andrea asked why he couldn't just use the CB they have. But Shane just explained that their walkies were old, from the seventies, and only worked with each other, not even on scanners. 
“I need that bag” Lori nodded her head, and Rick walked around her to keel down to Carl, you still had a hand on Carl's shoulder “Okay?” he asked him, and he nodded his head. He looked at you and nodded his head. 
You all watched as they left in the truck, taking Dale's bolt cutters with them. It was quiet for a bit, Carl went to their tent to lie down, and Lori followed him.
*
You tried to finish your book, on your last chapter, and it was actually getting good when Shane and Carl came up to you “Hey Y/n, you want to catch some frogs, plural, with us?” you shut your book and stood up,
“Yeah!” running with carl to the quarry. 
You and carl waited for Shane by one of the banks where you saw some of the women washing clothes. 
“Okay, so the plan is,” Shane began “were gonna rile up the water and wait fore ‘em to swim out and catch ‘em, got it?” he looked to you two for understanding, and you both nodded. You were excited but after about thirty minutes you couldn't catch or even find any frogs.
“Im not gettin’ anything” Carl announced in a flat tone. You waded through the water towards carl as you nodded your head in agreement. 
“Yeah. Being all wily, staying submerged. Little suckers, they know something's up. That's what's going on. Just going to have to do this the old-fashioned way.” Shane got up from his rock, and motioned you over to him, “So here's what we gonna do” You stood by Shane as he told you guys what the new strategy was 
“me and Y/n are gonna scare the frogs your way Carl,” he handed Carl a net “And you’re gonna catch them with the net, got it?” he looked at both of you, and you both said yeah “You are the key in all this, okay?” Carl nodded “All we’re gonna do is go after one of them, all right, scare the rest of them off. They're all gonna scatter.” he patted your shoulder “And we’re gonna drive 'em his way, okay?” 
“Yeah,” you got into your position and Shane laughed
“What you need to do is you need to round up every bad boy you see, all right? Are you with me?” he spoke to Carl
“Yeah. Yeah.” Carl exclaimed excitedly 
“Hell yeah. Give me your mean faces.” you and Carl gave him your best mean game faces “Are you ready?” he exclaimed one last time, “YEAH” 
He got into position, he looked at you, and you looked at him, Then he started to thrash in the water so you did the same, trying to kick up rocks from the quarry floor, thrashing your arms. Carl had his net in the middle of it. You and Carl laugh while Shane bobbed in and out of the water. He even began to lightly splash you
“All right, they're coming your way. They're coming your way. Go on, get 'em, get 'em. They're coming your way, come on.” he shouted excitedly “Catch them frogs. Catch them frogs. They're coming, little man! Get 'em! Get that net in there and get 'em!” 
You trashed around some more before Carl brought the net close to him
“Just dirt” Carls face dropped, “maybe they’re somewhere else?” you said. Shane just shrugged his shoulders “All right, we've got to start over. Come on, let's find this bucket” You helped Shane with the bucket, plunging yourself underwater
When you came back up you saw Lori coming down the path and stopping in front of Carl “Hey, Carl, what did I tell you about not leaving Dale's sight?” you waded over to them and sat down on a rock
“But Shane said we could catch frogs, remember?” Carl argued “Yeah, we were just about to move to another bank,” you told her as you ringed some water out of the bottom of your shirt.
“It doesn't matter what Shane says. It matters what I say. Go on back to camp” she guided him up and out “I'll be right behind you, and you can stay if ya want Y/n” As Carl walked away you just looked at yourself self “I  think im gonna ask for a towel first” you waded through the water trying to get to the women washing clothes
You could hear Shane and Lori, talking but could only make out bits and pieces of it “You stay away from my son. You don't look at him. You don't talk to him” You heard Lori say “hell you should stay away from Y/n”, the more you moved the less you could hear. Finally, you made it to Amy, Andrea, Jacqui, And Carol. With Ed, not far away.
“H-hi, do you guys have a towel?” Jacqui looked at your soppy wet clothes.
“my lord child, you look like you just walked through a hurricane” She put the piece of clothing down and began to look around “All we got is a wash rag sweetie” You took the rag from her, thanking her, and began to dry your self the best you could so you weren't sopping wet when you went to change
Juqci went right back to work, and Ed was right behind them smoking. You could feel his eyes on you “Hey, why don't ya maker yer self useful and start washin’ them there clothes” he pointed to a pile by Jacqui. You looked at them and noticed Andreas' face was full of annoyance
“Ed tell you what,” she got up, walking towards him “you don’t like how your laundry is done, you're more than welcome to pitch instead of telling a kid to” She threw some clothes at him “Here”, he caught them and threw them back at her face
Amy got up trying to stop Andrea from blowing her lid “aint my job missy” he took a puff of his smoke.
“What is your job Ed?” at this point, you stopped to watch Andrea fight with Ed “Sittin’ on your ass all day smoking cigarettes?” he flicked his smoke by her feet 
“it sure as hell ain't listening to some uppity smart-mouthed bitch tell ya what” he looked at Carol “Come on, let's go” Carol got up meekly, with an apologetic look on her face. You didn't know her super well but she always looked small and scared
“I don't think she needs to go anywhere with you, Ed” Andrea got in carols way, blocking her from Ed 
“And I say it's none of your business. Come on now. You heard me.” Carol walked up trying to pass Andrea but she tried to convince her to stay, but Carol just didn't listen “Hey, don't think I won't knock you on your ass just 'cause you're some college-educated cooze, All right?” he pointed his stare at carol “Now you come on now or you gonna regret it later.” he gritted through his teeth
“So she can show up with fresh bruises later, Ed” Jacqui stated, your eyes widened from shock “Yeah, we've seen them.” they all started to surround Ed while he laughed, getting angry by the second 
“Stay out of this. Now come on! You know what? This ain't none of y'all's business. You don't want to keep prodding the bull here, okay? Now I am done talking. Come on” he ranted, he grabbed carols arm and started to walk away with her 
You all started to protest, you even grabbed onto her shirt, pulling it lightly “Carol, you don't have-” All of a sudden Ed yelled
“YOU DON'T TELL ME WHAT! I TELL YOU WHAT!” then he struck Carol across the face. All hell broke loose as they started to grab at Ed, trying to get him away from Carol as he tried to get at her. Eventually, you and Amy pull Carol away, and you can hear her sob in Amy's arms
Then all of a sudden Shane came in and started to drag Ed away. Jacqui pulled you behind her, shielding you. Shane threw him on the ground, he started to punch him, standing over him. You could hear Carol yelling for him to stop. Even the others were yelling at him to stop, saying he was going to kill him.
You watched in shock as he pummeled the guy. His face was all red and swollen by the time he was done “You put your hands on your wife, your little girl, or anybody else in this camp one more time, I will not stop next time. Do you hear me? Do you hear me?!” he yelled at him, Ed gave a weak yes. “I’ll Beat you to death Ed, I’ll Beat you to death!” he punched him one last time before he got up
Carol was crying as she ran to her “husband”. Apologizing to him like it was her fault he got beat for hitting her, even though he struck her first starting all this. Shane walked away, and you followed him, not wanting to hear any more of Carol's sobs.
*
It had been about an hour since you saw Shane beat Ed, you'd been hiding in the RV. Shane did come by to apologize, saying you shouldn’t have seen that. You just shrugged, saying he deserved it for hitting her.
Eventually, you left the RV and climbed the ladder to the roof to sit with Dale
“Hey kiddo, I see you got some dry clothes on?” you smiled and sat in one of the deck chairs closest to him, “how are ya, kid? I heard you saw what happened down at the quarry” 
“Im okay, rather not talk about it” You brought a knee up to your chin “I finished the book though!” you looked at Dale with a smile.
“Ohh, and what did you think of it?” he was looking off into the distance, since that rotter came into camp, more people were on high alert.
“It was okay, i kinda predicted that the man would come out of nowhere, helping the crime bosses” you started to explain “Then turn around and help him then disappeared again, never to be seen again,” you said in that ‘spooky’ voice people do
Dale chuckled as he looked around, his eyes stopped in one area. He brought his binoculars up to his eyes, you noticed this and walked up beside him “What is it?” he looked down at you, handing you the binoculars 
“Im not sure, it looks like Jim is diggin’ something” You look through and it is as Dale told you, Jim was hard at work digging something over the cliff overlooking the camp “We should probably check it out” he started walking towards the ladder so you followed him
When you walked up to Jim, he was hacking away at the dirt, it was hot as hell outside, making you think he was crazy, but dale was worried for him.
“Jim? You okay? You keep this up, you're gonna keel over out here. Drink some water at least.” you stepped over to him “I brought you some water.” you offered him but he just kept digging, didn't even look at you or Dale as you spoke.
You turned to Dale not knowing what to do. 
You and Dale began to walk down the path deciding to tell people about it, scared for Jim's safety. You got the camp to see everyone surrounding Amy and Andrea. They went fishing earlier, and from what you could see they caught plenty of it.
“Hey Dale” Andrea called to him “When's the last time you oiled those line reels? They are a disgrace.” she joked. But you and Dale still kept your concerned faces
“I, uh, I don't want to alarm anyone,” he started “but we may have a bit of a problem.” he pointed towards the cliff Jim was at.
“He’s been at it for hours, based on how many holes he dug” you pointed out to Shane as he came up to see for himself “We tried to offer him water but he didn't respond or even look at us” you added, Shane just hmmed, “lead the way” he started to walk so you and Dale showed him, some other decided to follow to.
When you got up there you could see that Jim was already starting a new hole.
“Hey, Jim.” he tried to grab his attention “Why don't you hold up, all right? Just give me a second here, please.” Jim looked at Shane with an annoyed look on his face.
“What do you want?” he asked with an aggressive tone, he noticed all the people staring at him with concerned looks, you still had the water in case he wanted some.
“We’re all a little concerned, thats all man” he stopped his shoveling and looked at all of you, “Dale and Y/n say you’ve been up here for hours” Moreles interjects “I tried to offer you water but you just ignored me” you walked up to Jim and offed the water again.
Jim just gave a strange look, like it was normal “So?” Shane countered “So, what ya diggin’?” Jim looked down, trying to find his answer, the air was thick with worry and Shane tried to fix “Are you trying to head to China Jim?” he joked.
“What does it matter? Im not hurting anyone” he went back to digging his hole and Dale stepped up to talk to his friend. 
“Yeah, except maybe yourself. It's a hundred degrees today.” he gestured to the woods “You can't keep this up.” his voice was laced with concern for his friend. But Jim just scoffed and kept up with his digging “Sure I can, Watch me.”
Lori walked up from behind, standing next to Dale with her arms crossed “Jim, they're not gonna say it so I will. You're scaring people. You're scaring my kids and Carol's daughter.” you were taken aback when Lori described you as her kid.
But Jim didn't share your reaction, instead, he got defensive “They got nothing to be scared of. I mean, what the hell, people? I'm out here by myself.” he started to get more and more defensive as he talked “Why don't you all just go and leave me the hell alone?”
He got back to digging once again as Shane exchanged glances with the others. 
“We think that you need to take a break, okay? Why don't you go and get yourself in the shade? Some food maybe.” he put his hands on his hips like he didn't know what to say.
“I'll tell you what… maybe in a little bit I'll come out here and help you myself. Jim, just tell me what it's about. Why don't you just go ahead and give me that shovel?” Jim stopped again, giving Shane an attitude when he talked.
“Or what” he stared at Shane with annoyance.
“There is no or what. I'm asking you. I'm coming to you and I'm asking you, please. I don't want to have to take it from you.” you could tell things between them were getting tense. Jim stood in front of Shane, with the shovel on his shoulder.
“And if I don't, then what? Then you're gonna beat my face in like Ed Peletier, aren't you?” he looked around at all of you “Y'all seen his face, huh? What's left of it.” he yelled “See, now that's what happens when someone crosses you” he leaned into Shane's face. Shane looked like he wanted to yell at Jim
“That was different, Jim.” Shane started to defend himself before you and Amy started defending him 
“You weren't there. Ed was out of control. He was hurting his wife” Amy spoke up first “Yeah, he hit first, Shane was just helpin’ Carol” Jim started yelling at you all
“That is their marriage. That is not his.” he pointed in Caroal's direction, and she looked away in shame “He is not judge and jury. Who voted you king boss, huh?” Shane just shook his head and walked up to Jim, he asked Jim to hand over the shovel but Jim just kept it away, walking away from Shane
Jim pushed Shane away and began to try and hit Shane, but he ducked just in time. You gasped and jumped away, and hid behind Dale. he put an arm in front of you shielding you in case. When Jim missed Shane got up and tackled him to the ground. 
Jim started yelling at him, saying he had no right, as he subdued him to the ground. He pinned his arms behind his back like he was arresting him. Shane tried to calm him down the best he could but nothing worked as Jim continued to freak out.
“Jim. Jim, nobody's gonna hurt you. You hear me? Shh. Jim, nobody is gonna hurt you, okay?” Shane tried and tried but nothing worked. Instead, it sparked Jim's fear more.
“That's a lie. That's the biggest lie there is. I told that to my wife and my two boys. I said it 100 times. It didn't matter.” you could see from behind Dale that jims eyes were getting wet, from tears 
“They came out of nowhere. There were dozens of 'em. Just pulled 'em right out of my hands.” you couldn't help but relate to him, it’s how to ended up here in the first place “You know, the only reason I got away was 'cause the dead were too busy eating my family.” he was so quiet, and sad. You walked away and headed down the path. You felt tears stroll down your cheeks thinking of your momma.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Next // We Ate Some Fish And Things Got Crazy
Previous // I Met Two Old Guys In The Woods
Taglist // @your-shifting-gurl, @underrated-jellygirl
// Masterlist //
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hellconsumed · 8 days
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angel's comfort list !
comfort food(s) : birria tacos , poke bowls , pasta &. jalapeno popper dip
comfort drink(s) : water , coffee ( but it has to be actually quality coffee not the fast coffee shops . bc i've worked in fast coffee for so long i literally can't ) , angry orchards &. wine ( i promise i'm not an alcoholic , i rarely drink )
comfort movie(s) : scream , princess and the frog &. the man from uncle
comfort show(s) : psych , bob's burgers , bee and puppycat &. she-ra
comfort clothing : leggings , bike shorts , baggy basketball shorts , oversized tees / crew necks , crop tops &. hoodies
comfort song(s) : carrollton by $uicideboy$ , any hozier song , she keeps me up by nickelback , 80s rock , the devil wears a suit and tie by colter wall , used to the darkness by des rocs , lo air by dead poet society &. bury my face down by grandson ( i literally listen to any / everything )
comfort book(s) : six of crows / crooked kingdom
comfort game(s) : outlast , baldurs gate , red dead redemption 2 &. dead by daylight ( on occasion )
tagged by : stolen by : @salvatoraes !! tagging : @fatalsmiles , @outl4st , @acceptedrisk , @dopplgaenger , @vi0lnt , @americanedpsycho , @evilstalks &. you !!
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broken-everlark · 7 months
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Welp my dumbass decided to make Wednesday pokemon trainer cards instead of updating my WIPs. Which I'm going to do after I post this🤣
I'm not fully happy about Tyler, eugene, and the xaviers teams. Those may change.
Almost everyone always gets a legendary/mythical.
I know literally no one will read this or care. But I figured I could post it anyway.
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I gave her Skorupi because of Nero, so he's her partner.
Gliscor because he's just a beast of a mon and reminds me of a scorpion/bat that fits Wednesday's dark theme. Tyler had given this to her as a present. On their first anniversary, it immediately became a favorite.
Corviknight because Wednesday is referred to as the Raven, and he just seems like the most raven mon (even though he's a crow). Wednesday found this pokemon back when it was a Rookiedee. It had fallen out of its nest. Instead of feeding it to her mother's Pyroar, she kept it.
Hydreigon because he's just a dark dragon, and I feel like he fits Wednesday's style. Wednesday had found him as a deino, the poor blind Dino had injured himself. She decided to take him in and raise him to become a terrifying dragon.
Dusknoir because he's a big scary ghost that eats souls in his chest. Out of all the ghost types, i feel like this one fits Wednesday the most. This mon snuck up on Wednesday and followed her throughout a haunted graveyard, not giving up until she caught him.
It was between Giratina (the underworld/antimatter legend) or Yveltal. Her legend I chose is Yveltal, He's the legendary of Death, basically destroying everything in sight.
(I feel bad for doing this to Tyler)
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His partner - Cubone - because they both lost their moms. Cubone wears his mothers dead skull on his head. Tyler's mother had given this to him just before she passed.
(Might replace.) Bewear - literally because Tyler is sweet & adorable on the outside, but on the inside, he's hiding a dangerous monster, just like bewear.
Mimikyu - because the creature inside the suit just wants to be loved, just like Tyler. So he hides behind a suit made up of a beloved pokemon. But everytime it's trainer looks underneath the suit, they die.
Scovillian - because it's a funny play on Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde. Two faces, two different personalities.
Garchomp - Because this mon is anger filled and very hard to tame also very powerful. Kinda reminds me of the hyde.
His legend is Mewtwo. A legend made by humans and hates humanity. Reminds me of Tyler's tragic past, hating others who don't understand what he's been through.
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Her partner is a shiny Spheal - Honestly, I just feel like Enid would love every single pokemon that's adorable.
Shiny) Politoad because he's just a very happy frog, and I feel like it matches. It Enids a very bubbly personality.
Arcanine - i feel like even though it's a big scary dog, she loves it because it's Fluffy and loyal. Just like Enid.
Lycanroc (Day form) just a little nod to her wolf form.
Dragonair - Honestly, it's just a beautiful mid evo that I feel like Enid would love
And her legend is Mew. It's just a cute, sweet cat that has all the DNA of each pokemon. Something I think Enid would take care of and love.
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So Ajax's starter is Ivysaur - because the bulbasaur line is famous for smoking grass
Ekans because of Ajax being a Gorgon and his little snakes poke their heads out sometimes.
Slowbro because it seems like a good pokemon to get high with.
Hisuian Typhlosion because he just looks like a depressed cool boy like my baby Ajax.
Noivern - because I just see Ajax being the chill guy at parties and noiverns ears remind me of speakers.
His legend is a shiny Rayquaza just because he's a giant space snek noodle🤣
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Eugene's starter is a shiny caterpie, figured he'd just be a bug type trainee.
Beedrill - because of his powers to control bees.
Heracross- same as the caterpie. Just figured he'd have a bug army.
Dewpider because he's just an adorable bean like Eugene.
Appletun because I just feel like he'd love chunky pokemon. Because chunky pokemon are the best.
wobbuffet because its a psychic pokemon and it's insane ability to use counter and I feel like Eugene would need a happy mon to keep him company.
Yes Eugene doesn't get a legend. Just couldn't find one that fit.
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Her partner being Primarina - has to do with her being a siren outcast. Her partner looks like a mermaid and sings like sirens and mermaids are known for.
Being the popular girl at school, I'd imagine she'd have tons of beautiful pokemon. A florges. Being a bouquet of flowers fits that perfectly
Again, Hatterene fits the popular girl status perfectly. Another beautiful fairy type to add to Bianca's team
Bianca would also have a shiny Altaria, it being her pride since it's a rare golden color.
Beautifly - a rare evolution of Wurmple, being very beautiful & every time it flaps its wings, sparkly pollen falls with each flap.
I chose Meloetta fighting form for her mythical pokemon. It has unique singing abilities, and being strong but beautiful would fit Bianca perfectly.
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Xavier surprisingly got a card. I didn't want to download a picture of him into my phone so he gets no picture.
He gets a shiny muk as his partner. Because he looks like throw up. Just like how I feel about Xaviers character.
He gets an Exeggutor because it's derpy in a stupid way🤣
Grafaiai because he's an artist.
Garbordor - because it's a pokemon made of trash.
Xavier does get a legend. But it's the worst one. He gets regice because it's a trash legend.🤣
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blank-house · 10 months
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i have returned 🧍‍♀️
ok so
1. do any of the characters have any phobias?
2. will we get to play games with percy?
3. this one's probably a spoiler but, what are their ideal date locations? if not that, then their dream vacation?
4. miiight sound a bit creepy but how do they sleep at night? sleeping positions, if they need white noise, sleep with a plushie, or any other quirks? im lowkey betting cam sleeps with a frog plushie
*waves* welcome back!
Yup. One, and it's Deja. She can't deal with bugs and creepy crawlies. It's why she's so particular about cleaning, she'd pass out on the spot if she sees a roach. Everyone else has got things they don't like but nothing as extreme as a phobia. (Though he does have… I mean it’s sort of a fear… though like there’s no scientific name for it… but it kinda counts? Oh well :p)
Yes! You do in the extended demo, twice. One's in a group setting, and the other's not really a video game, but it is a game! ^^
Hmm, I don't think they're particular about where to go for a date location. Maybe this is a cop out but so long as they're with their significant other, then it's already pretty ideal to them. But pfft lemme actually give you guys something-- let's see... Cameron would be thrilled to go on a museum date. They'd poke fun of some of the pieces while appreciating them. Deja would prefer to stay indoors so actually just curling up on the couch with a co-op is good enough for her. Percy's the same but he wouldn't say no to a movie where he can pull all of the cheesy moves, like reaching for the popcorn bucket at the same time or swinging his arm around his date mid yawn. Elio is raring to go for anything and everything, so long as it's an experience. Jamie would like a casual walk instead, just taking in the sights and checking out a new store. Reynah wouldn't mind where but she would like to plan out the date. For her, half the fun is researching haha
The cast’s sleeping habits has been brought to you by members of the writing team at, once again ass o’clock. Let’s do this:
Jamie sleeps like the dead. However, if someone is around he’ll kind of drape himself over them, like a backpack! Percy can attest to this when they take their naps. Jamie is also a blanket hog— he likes to pull them up to his nose so you only see the top of his head.
Lucky for Jamie, Percy can’t sleep with blankets! He also has a bad habit of burrowing his head into his pillows so he wakes up with bed hair every time. Also Percy has a night time playlist. He doesn’t listen to it often but he’s got it if someone ever needs it.
Reynah sleeps on her back and with eye covers. Though she doesn’t need it, she’s been turning her fan on or her music app before bed because she finds the white noise comforting.
Deja’s a side sleeper. She also snores a little. It wasn’t something she thought she did until a friend told her during a high school sleepover. But other than, no other quirks!
Cameron can sleep sitting up— it’s from all the times they fell asleep in their car waiting for a class to start— but when in bed they tend to starfish and kick the covers. MC and Deja also found out that they talk a little in their sleep. Sometimes it’s incoherent mumbles, other times it’s a full blown conversation (they have recordings heh). And you’re right! They have a plushie collection but they don’t need to sleep with one, especially since they all remain in their room at home :3
Elio sleeps on his stomach and would bunch the blankets up or drag a pillow to hug in his sleep. He also… he doesn’t know why this happens, but at some point in the night he’ll just strip down to his boxers?? It’s been a pretty consistent event. Even if he were to sleep shirtless, he’ll wake up without his sweats— so yeah, boxers it is.
Haha the last question was a cute ask
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spawnofdeath · 11 months
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A Frog and a Flower Crown
(The second chapter in the "King Scott and the Codfather" collection)
Read on AO3
In which a demon offers two gifts to a king. One is refused, and one is accepted.
Used to the snow-capped mountains as he was, the swamp seemed intensely warm, indeed sweltering, the air almost physically heavy, thick with moisture and the buzzing of insects. Still, it was a decent place. Or at least an empty one. Hopefully the others wouldn't think to look for him here right away.
Scott crouched on the half solid spot of earth he'd found, trying not to get too much mud onto his robes, and gazed into a pool of murky water.
How deep was it? He found it hard to tell what might have been the bottom of it from what was simply floating particles, and so it could just be a puddle, or it could go down deeper than he'd be able to dive. Not that he had any mind to dive in it. Who knew what lurked in there?
Well. He could see one creature in the muddy brown.
The fish didn't actually look very out of place, the red and green of its scales almost blending into its surroundings. It didn't belong though. With a good guess as to who ruled over this place, Scott was pretty sure that salmon weren't wanted here.
"How in the world did you get into the swamp?" he asked the creature. "I don't think you're very well liked around here, you know."
As if on cue, a shadow became visible within the pond, and as it rose, resolved into a silhouette, one Scott recognised with ease even as the muddy water blurred its outlines. The pool did have to be really quite deep, he realised, because of how far below the shadow had appeared, though it was rising quickly. The salmon had no chance to get away before it was caught, helplessly thrashing, in the Codfather's jaws.
The demon rose out of the pool without any effort, in the manner that Scott by now was used to, still seeming to swim, as though the water and the air were one and the same.
He dropped the salmon into the mud next to Scott, quickly pinning it in place with one hand before its thrashing could carry it back into the water.
"What a pathetic creature", he muttered, and his eyes fixed on Scott. "You wouldn't know how it got here?"
"I don't", Scott replied, "but I'd also been wondering. Don't they swim into the rivers where they were born, something like that? Seems unlikely one would end up in the swamp by accident. I can't well tell of course, but does that pool even have any connection to the ocean? Or to a river, for that matter?"
"It certainly connects to the ocean", the Codfather said, "that's where I just came from."
He was now lying on his stomach in the mud and playing with the struggling salmon seemingly absentmindedly, poking his claws through its fins and into its gills.
"I suppose it could have gotten in here on its own. But I doubt that. Much more likely someone put it here on purpose. Should have to pay that tinkerer another visit, I reckon. He's usually the one leaving the vile things everywhere."
The salmon was most definitely dead by now, or very close, lying still and bleeding from various holes the demon had poked through its skin, and the Codfather shoved the cadaver aside, seemingly bored with it now he could no longer hurt it.
Resting his head on a slightly bloody hand, he turned again to look at Scott.
"But enough of that. What brings you to my home then, little elf?"
"There's a diplomatic discussion taking place right now", Scott began to explain, "in Mythland as being the most neutral of the empires. Every ruler is obligated to be there, but really none of it is currently relevant to Rivendell, and I just didn't see the point in staying.
And I was also just getting a bit overwhelmed. I mean, no offense to the Lost Emperor, he is my best friend's husband, but I cannot listen to him argue with the Mezalean King for half an hour straight and not just about lose my mind. They weren't even finished when I left! They weren't even close to being finished! I really just couldn't stay there, for my own sanity's sake. So I snuck away. And then, well, this is the closest place to Mythland that I thought the others wouldn't look for me immediately. So, hi, I guess? Sorry to intrude into your land."
The Codfather looked at him with a somewhat shocked face.
"And here I thought you'd come because you actually wanted to see me", he said and pressed his free hand to his chest dramatically. "I'm a little hurt, you know, to learn that's not the case."
"I mean, that's not-" Scott blushed, trying to keep his thoughts together and his words from escaping him. "-that's, I didn't mean it like that, I just, I had a hunch this might be your place? But I wasn't sure, and then I wasn't sure you'd want me to visit either, and I didn't exactly have a chance to ask beforehand, and I just thought I should apologise? Like, just in case, you know. It's, it's certainly not that I didn't want to see you."
"Ah, that's all well, I was only messing with you anyways."
The Codfather slapped an unexpectedly cold hand onto Scott's shoulder, making him jump slightly with the surprise of it, which in turn cost him his balance. With a slight yelp he tumbled backwards into the mud.
The demon laughed heartily. Had he done that on purpose?
"I was trying to stay clean", Scott muttered, which only made the Codfather laugh louder.
"You're in a swamp, Scott", he said. "You're in a swamp, and you expected to stay clean? That's not how swamps work. You should be glad you didn't step into a concealed puddle yet and sink into the mud up to your waist, then have to struggle to get out again. That's how swamps work."
"Yeah, I guess", Scott sighed, resigning himself to the dampness seeping into his robes as he sat back up, and returned to gazing into the water where he'd first spotted the salmon.
There was again some movement, this time in the mud at the edge of the pool, and like an arrow from a bow string the Codfather's arm shot out to snatch whatever had been hiding there.
"Frog?" he asked, and held his hand out towards Scott.
Scott stared at the creature caught in the Codfather's grasp, gutted by claws but still twitching, as its blood dripped down the demon's wrist.
"You want it or not?" the Codfather asked. "Should try it. 's good. Nice big one too."
Right. He was expecting him to eat it. Okay.
"I'm not sure my stomach is very well adapted to eating raw frogs", Scott said, a half-true excuse that he hoped wouldn't make his aversion to the slimy thing too obvious.
"Suit yourself", the demon said with a shrug, and began to lick the blood off his arm.
His tongue was long and pointy, and looked rough like that of a cat. Was that what a cod's tongue looked like? Scott hadn't really seen many fish heads before, much less ever tried to look into their mouths. What kind of tongues did they have, anyways?
He elected not to ask, as he watched the Codfather wrench a frog leg from it's socket with a snap and begin to gnaw on it with sharp teeth.
It wasn't long before the bone was clean of any meat, and the demon paused, put the bone and the rest of the frog aside, and once more turned to look at Scott, rather thoughtfully this time.
"I do have something else for you", he said. "Something that I hope you won't refuse."
"Well, what is it?" Scott asked. "As long as it's not something that'll make me ill..."
"It's not", the Codfather said. "Wait here."
He got up and jumped back into the pond. Scott watched the water ripple as he disappeared below the surface. There was a connection to the ocean from that pool, he'd said. Were there other ways to different places, too? Was there a whole network of underground waterways below the surface of the swamp? He could very easily imagine it.
He watched and waited for a few minutes for the Codfather's return, and indeed was so focused on the pond that he near jumped out of his skin when suddenly he heard the demon's voice behind him.
"Don't turn around", he said. "Don't look yet."
Scott obliged and wondered what it was the other had for him.
"You aren't wearing your crown", the Codfather said, which seemed entirely unrelated to just about anything Scott had been expecting. "What's a king without a crown?"
"We don't wear crowns or similar to the meetings", Scott explained. "Show of respect and such, that noone thinks themselves above any of the others, you know, that sort of careful politeness. And in any case, I don't wear my crown every day and everywhere. I wasn't wearing it when first we met either, remember? It's more just for special occasions."
"This one isn't", the Codfather said, and Scott felt something strangely soft and dripping being placed upon his head. "I want you to wear this one always."
Scott reached up to touch whatever he'd been given, as the Codfather sat down beside him and placed an arm around his shoulder.
"Look", he said.
At a wave of the demon's hand, the water of the pond cleared up, particles moving aside without causing the slightest ripple, and the surface became smooth and shiny as a mirror.
When Scott saw what he was now wearing, he had to admit he hadn't expected it to be a flower crown. It was woven from water lily blossoms, and some other bits of swamp plants. There was a slight sheen to it, like it was enchanted in some way. Perhaps to keep it from wilting, Scott thought.
"It's beautiful", he said.
"It suits you", the Codfather replied, and then he laughed again. "Little flower elf. Like you'd belong into the Overgrown, and not the mountains."
"We actually used to live in a flower forest for a while", Scott told him, "my people and I, before we came into the mountains and founded Rivendell. I liked it there. It was very pretty. Reminded me of something, although for the life of me I couldn't have said what. But it didn't last. None of our settlements before Rivendell did. We never did figure out why."
"Sometimes you're just meant to be in one place and not another", the Codfather said. "Nothing really to it that's possible to understand. Just forces of life pulling you this way and that, like a jellyfish swept along in the current. And think of this, your current pulled you to me."
"That it did", Scott said and smiled.
It was getting a bit darker now, and he noticed fire flies starting to appear between the reeds. One of them landed on his arm and sat there, blinking slowly. He smiled at that, too.
"You'd best head home now", the Codfather said after they'd been watching the dancing lights for a while. "Before the others do come looking for you here. I'd rather not be found today."
"Yes, I should go, shouldn't I?" Scott suppressed a yawn. "The others will be worried."
Well. Xornoth would be worried. Sausage would be, and probably Pearl. Joey, maybe, too, or maybe not. Most of the others, he didn't actually know that well. He could imagine some of them might rather be annoyed than worried at his disappearance.
"Promise you'll wear your new crown", the Codfather said. "Every day and everywhere, not just on special occasions."
"And at night?" Scott asked. "I might crush it if I wear it to bed."
"You won't", the demon replied. "I can promise you that. I promise it won't get crushed, or damaged any other way. I made sure of that. It'll look ever as beautiful on you as it does now. Just wear it. For me."
"I'll wear it for you, then", Scott promised. "I'll wear it forever and always."
The Codfather gave him a wide, sharp-toothed smile.
"Come visit me again, my little flower elf. And soon. It does get lonely here."
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