#there is no place for people over 18 to make friends besides the extremely stressful college and work

[devils-little-sista]

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[anto-pops]

A Torrid Arrangement - Sebastian Sallow x Female! Reader

Summary: You and Sebastian have had a 'friends-with-benefits' dynamic going on for close to a year now, and the more time passes, the harder it is for him to hide his true feelings for you. It's an unbearable kind of torment, but he forces himself to grin and bear it anyway to preserve the integrity of his... situation-ship with you. That is, until the metaphorical floodgates finally open up.

Alternatively summarized as gratuitous FWB smut with lots of playful banter sprinkled in

This came from the depths of my fever-induced brain so if its all over the place, I apologize. But YAY MORE SMUT !!

Word Count: 8.6k

Warnings: 18+, aged up characters, explicit sexual content, lots of hickies

Full fic can be found here on Ao3 with more informative tags, as per usual :))

Sebastian knew it was going to be one of those days before he was even fully conscious. 

He jolted awake from an extremely graphic wet dream at the ass crack of dawn, hard and sweaty and tangled in the sheets, already reaching beside himself for the body that had just been pressed against his own. The dream had been so real– so incredibly vivid– that he swore he could still taste the familiar, salty skin on the tip of his tongue. He’d been so fucking close too; buried deep between soft thighs, clinging tight with every fiber of his being when reality had come and butt its ugly, unwelcome head in. 

With a ragged, disappointed groan, Sebastian let his head fall back against his pillow and dragged his hands down his flushed face, graciously allowing himself a few minutes to sort himself out. 

This was far from the first wet dream he’d had about you, and he was certain it wouldn’t be the last. Hell– you gave Sebastian’s thirsty subconscious plenty of material to work with every time you came around to ‘relieve stress’. Being long-standing fuck buddies with you granted him that lucious priviledge. Sebastian knew damn well how good you felt holding onto him, what you sounded like when you were about to come, what your heated, sweat-slick skin tasted like. 

He also knew how fucking cute you could be— especially when you were sprawled across his bed in his dorm with a textbook open beneath you to sneakily segue from studying together to fooling around. He knew how badly he wanted to spread you out across his sheets and make you moan for hours– to worship your perfect body slowly and sweetly with his hands and his mouth. 

It was barely past dawn and Sebastian already knew he was going to be tracking you down at some point today to act on his urges. As always, he would be hiding his monstrous crush under a thick layer of casual booty call. 

—

Whenever Sebastian woke up like this– nerves stretched paper thin over a desperate craving for intimacy– dueling was one of the few things that helped him clear his head and get his shit together. He wasn’t exactly a morning person, and he was even less of a people person at such a ripe, early hour, but he’d still left the confines of his dorm to make the trek to the Crossed Wands courtyard. 

There were no students in this area of the castle at this time, which just meant he would be making do with the practice dummies for a few hours until his blood cooled within his veins. Spell after spell fired from his wand and struck hard and true against the wooden figurines that lined the walls, the sound echoing off the Clock Tower walls and drowning out his incessant, horny thoughts. 

Thoughts that revolved too much around how nice your thighs would look with dark imprints of his teeth all over them. 

Biting the inside of his cheek, Sebastian unleashed a particularly aggressive Confringo charm in a bid to expel his sinful train of thought. The dummy erupted in an explosion of wooden bits and flaming embers, and as it collapsed to the stone floor in a mangled heap, the brunet realized that there was in fact one other person on school grounds awake– and they just so happened to be walking right towards him. 

He could practically hear fate howling with laughter at his expense when he dimly registered that not only did he know this lone survivor, it was against all probability none other than you, because why the fuck not. 

You were stomping through the outer courtyard with a few textbooks clutched tight in your white-knuckled grip, looking equal parts distracted and deliciously disheveled from a distance. Your mind had to be as scattered as his was, because you clearly didn’t notice Sebastian or the on fire training dummy as you strode through the open clock tower gate. He did his best to play it cool when you finally made eye contact with him, trying exceptionally hard to not look like he’d just jacked off to the way dream-you squirmed under him not twenty minutes prior. 

“Hey, you,” Sebastian called out smoothly when your hurried pace slowed down at the sight of him. You shook your head as though to clear it, squinting at him harder as you evenly stalked up to him, and your frown became more and more apparent the closer you got. Everything about your demeanor screamed ‘wild Graphorn, do not approach’, but Sebastian had never been great at following directions. 

You raked one of your hands through your wild hair as you finally came to stop a few feet away, panting slightly as you stared up at him as though you weren’t entirely sure he was real. “Sebastian?” 

The man in question cocked a brow at you, giving you a quick once over. Your hair was definitely mussed more than usual, a few stray strands falling over your forehead while others stuck up on one side– as if you’d been combing your fingers through it all night. There was no missing the mildly insane glint in your bloodshot eyes, and you were slightly paler than normal. Sebastian was also pretty sure you’d been wearing the same blouse yesterday, if the tiny stain on the collar was any indication. 

If you didn’t look so damned grumpy, Sebastian would swear he’d just caught you in the middle of a walk of shame. The mere idea sent a sharp pang of jealousy straight through his core, and he had to bite his tongue to stifle the snide comment that threatened to fall from his lips. He failed, opting to instead poke the metaphorical bruise and deal with the throbbing ache doing so would bring him. 

“Someone didn’t go to her dorm last night,” he snickered, aiming a crooked grin down at you. “Congrats on getting lucky.” 

Normally he would expect you to just roll your eyes and punch him in the shoulder before ribbing him back. But as Sebastian watched your eyes widen at the same time your face flushed several different shades of red, he couldn’t help but wonder if poking the metaphorical Graphorn before the sun was even fully up was a good idea. 

“I was not getting lucky,” you hissed at him, one eye twitching. Sebastian raised his hands in mock surrender before sticking his wand back in his pocket, awkwardly shifting on his feet for a moment as you huffed out an agitated sigh. “I’ve been getting fucked for the last twelve hours by Professor Sharp’s assignment– fifteen pages on the origin and uses of Wiggenweld. I’m not even sure if most of what I’ve written comes off as real English, so don’t fucking chuckle at me about getting lucky, you ass.” 

Sebastian just stared at you silently, watching you fume. He’d pulled plenty of all-nighters with you before, so he knew full well that after a certain amount of sleep deprivation and stress, you had a tendency to lose your shit in addition to your filter. “Ah,” he mumbled as he rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, only hesitating for a second. 

After all, he just so happened to know exactly how you liked to relieve your stress. 

He licked his lips quickly before he said, “You, uh… kinda look like you could stand to get lucky, huh?” 

Your nostrils flared slightly as you squinted up at him for a long minute instead of responding. It might have looked like a murderous face to anyone else, but Sebastian knew better, and he could practically hear the gears in your head clanking together as you weighed the offer. 

“…I mean, if you’re not doing anything else,” you finally muttered, your tense shoulders dropping a smidge. 

He gestured loosely to the demolished pile of wood on the ground. “I’m not anymore,” came his fluid reply, and before you could take note of the smoking remnants of the training dummy, Sebastian’s hand was grasping yours tight as he tugged you along behind him. You blearily blinked the fatigue from your eyes as you fell into step beside him, and the brunet tried his very best not to let on how extremely pleased he was.

—

Halfway to Sebastian’s dorm, you’d interrupted his hurried pace and directed him to the Room of Requirement in an attempt to avoid any awkward run-ins with his roommates. The absolute last thing you wanted to deal with on top of your Potion’s related irritation was prying eyes, and you already knew the Slytherin dorms would be chock full of those. 

Upon entering the more private space atop the Astronomy Tower, you threw aside your textbooks on the lone side table next to the double doors and spun around to yank Sebastian into a frantic, needy kiss. Your nails dug into his firm shoulders as you swiftly pulled him down to your level, and he allowed you to grind your hips against his steadily growing erection as his own fingers dug into the small of your back. 

“H-Hey, hold on,” Sebastian wheezed out when you pulled away to tug at his belt, and his hands dropped to your waist to hold you at arms length so he could look you over again. As the two of you had trekked up to the Room, you’d begun to look more and more exhausted— too out of it to even gripe about the endless staircase that never failed to draw complaints from you. “Are you sure you’re up for this right now? You look like death.” 

You snorted and rolled your tired eyes, pursing your lips in blatant disapproval. “Nagging, Sebastian? Really? I thought we were past this.” 

“I’m not nagging,” he grumbled. “I’m just saying, you kinda look like you need a nap more than you need a quick fuck.” 

Tutting disdainfully, your hands fell away from his belt as you crossed your arms over your chest. “I was just starting to loosen up. See if I ever relax around your ass again,” you retorted drily, tilting your head back to blink up at the ceiling. “The assignment is due before lunch today. If I sleep now, I’m not waking up until tomorrow. I can’t sleep yet.”

Sebastian tilted his head with a thoughtful frown, mirroring your stance by crossing his arms over his own chest. “What if I wake you up?” 

You shook your head dutifully, although you were sorely tempted by the idea. “Trust me, I can feel the impending coma. I can’t risk it.”

“Want me to turn your paper in for you?”

Another mournful shake of your head. “You know Sharp, he’s as stern as they come. I’m positive he wouldn’t take it from you– and I’m sure he’d give you detention for trying. It’s fine, I just need to tough it out for a few more hours. Think you can help with that?” 

“Shit, yeah,” he relented, fighting the urge to bury his face in your messy head of hair. Instead he opted for uncrossing his arms to run his hands up your shoulders to gently squeeze at the tense muscles there, and you sighed at the delightful shiver that danced up your spine from the action. “I’m really not trying to kill you, though. Are you sure you’re good for this?” 

You snorted again, shaking your head slightly, and the tension in your upper body began seeping away under Sebastian’s warm palms. “Are you always this sweet to your fuck buddies?” The brunet could feel himself flushing at the statement, but before he could respond, you were muttering, “It’s really weird coming from you.” 

“Hey–”

“Just shut up and fuck me already,” you barked over Sebastian’s protest, pulling away from him to head further into the massive space towards the modest bedroom in the corner. The adjacent room had never disappeared after your first hook-up here with your longtime companion, and its constant existence since then had served as an odd reminder of your arrangement with the man. 

If you weren’t so stiff and weird from exhaustion, Sebastian could honestly convince himself that you were embarrassed or something. For now, though, he simply chalked your jaded nature up to your lack of a filter and stalked after you– totally not obsessing over the fact that you’d just called him sweet. 

You’d been undoing the buttons on your shirt as you walked, and as soon as you made it inside the bedroom, you stripped the material off completely and discarded it in the corner of the room. Your skirt quickly followed, and all the while Sebastian was forcing himself not to think about how nice dream-you’s skin had looked tangled in his dream-sheets. 

Sebastian stood in the doorway as he began unbuttoning his own shirt, shucking the attire off of his shoulders before moving down to his belt. The metal clink of the buckle was enough to draw your attention, and you fell back onto the mattress and scooted up towards the pillows without taking your eyes off him. The eager look in your fatigued eyes was enough to spur Sebastian onward quicker, and before long he was dressed in only his briefs as he prowled towards the bed with a predatory glint in his eyes. 

The way you were sprawled atop the sheets with your arms resting above your head was a sight Sebastian vowed to commit to memory for as long as he lived. You were clearly giving him free reign over your body, and his mouth ran dry at the realization that you were wholly handing control over to him. He swallowed thickly and moved to straddle your hips, leaning over you on his forearms so he could better slot your lips together, and after a few tentative pecks, his boldness started to grow. You sighed and tilted your chin into Sebastian’s kisses, parting your lips invitingly as you melted into the cool, satin sheets beneath you. 

With as tired and as boneless as you were, it seemed like you might actually be patient for once, and the thought had Sebastian’s heart fluttering excitedly. More often than not, he was so susceptible to your impatience and intensity that he always found himself getting swept up in your urgency when the two of you did this. Not that he didn’t love it; the dire, rough pace he’d always settle into with you, all gasping moans and tightly-gripped hands and frantic, needy thrusts– he absolutely loved it. It kept him hooked and craving more, even when you were both panting and sated. This, though…

Having you give up the lead and just relax for him was like a literal wet dream come to life. 

Tangling your tongues with a low moan, Sebastian leaned into you slightly, his hands shifting to rub slowly up your sides until his deft fingers slipped under your arched back to unhook your bra. It fell away like nothing, and you moaned against his lips when the pads of his thumbs came to graze over your pert nipples. Your sleep-deprived loopiness had to be contagious, because Sebastian pulled away from your lips to mouth hotly against your ear, “I dreamt about you last night.” 

He didn’t get the chance to feel weird about admitting it. You chuckled warmly, your kiss-swollen lips curving into a crooked, amused smile. “Oh yeah?” 

“Yeah,” he murmured, pausing to suck gently at your earlobe while his thumbs idly traced the outline of your ribs. He brushed his lips down the angle of your jaw, exhaling shakily when you leaned your head aside to freely offer him the wonderfully sensitive expanse of your neck. Sebastian lightly dragged his teeth down the soft, heated skin, then flicked his tongue over the faded imprint of the last hickey he’d left there. It was barely noticeable now. 

You shivered at the feeling, your fingers twisting in the sheets above your head before you sighed contentedly. “Was I pulling my hair out about Potions?”

“Fuck no.” He nipped at the faint bruise before pressing a hot, open-mouthed kiss to your pulse, sucking just enough to briefly tease you. “I had you under me like this,” he continued softly, pitching his voice low and nuzzling into your ear again, purposely aiming to press your buttons and work you into a needy frenzy. He felt your breath hitch more than he heard it, and as a sly grin broke out across his face, Sebastian slipped his fingers up your chest to pinch at your nipples once again. “I was fucking you nice and slow, making you feel so good…”

Moaning softly, you arched up into Sebastian’s hands, worrying your bottom lip between your teeth as he teased and flicked the sensitive nubs into stiff peaks. Your hips inadvertently rocked up against his as you desperately sought friction in the area you wanted it most. “Sounds like you’ve already got a game plan, huh?”

He sat back on his heels to look down at you as he shrugged. “If you’re up to it,”

“Just don’t let me fall asleep,” you mused, your hooded eyes trailing down Sebastian’s tanned, freckled chest to his dark briefs, halting when you caught sight of his cock straining against the cotton material. The sight had you licking your lips and fidgeting slightly before you blinked back up at him. “This paper is worth a quarter of my grade.” 

“I won’t. Merlin– you worry too much.” Sitting upright with an amused shake of his head, Sebastian rolled off of you to sidle down the mattress so he was kneeled comfortably between your outstretched legs. Your hands fell to your thin underwear, ready to peel them away to get a move on with things, but Sebastian swatted away your appendages quickly. With a half-hearted scowl, you relinquished control, allowing your arms to rest above your head again as you once more bared yourself to the larger man. 

Sebastian groaned softly at the sight, continuing where you’d left off by slipping his fingers under the waistband of your undergarments before tugging the damp fabric away from your aching center. You lifted your knees to assist him, and in one swift motion he had discarded the soiled attire over his shoulder, taking care to drag his eyes down the supple curve of your waist before settling on your glistening folds. 

“Damn, darling,” he moaned earnestly. “You look so fucking perfect like this.” You huffed softly as you hooked your legs around Sebastian’s hips to tug him closer, and he hummed at the same time he looped one of his hands under your thigh to hold you to him as he rocked against your slick core. The friction was tantamount to perfection, but you craved more, and Sebastian knew it too. 

Before you could open your mouth to complain, the freckled man ducked to press hot, wet kisses down the line of your throat, sucking and biting as he made his way down your shoulder past your collarbone. As he mouthed down your chest, he paused to tease one of your perked nipples gently between his teeth, and a pang of arousal shot through him when you arched and moaned under him. It was pure bliss– and your eyes rolled shut as your hips pressed up insistently. Sebastian ground his hips into yours for as long as he could manage before he had to scoot back to continue further, but he made up for it by dragging his nails deliciously down your thighs before he’d settled between your outstretched legs. 

You made such a pretty picture spread out in the lush, satin sheets this way; with your hands fisted in the covers above your head, your legs spread on either side of him, and the lustful gaze you pinned him with, Sebastian was half convinced he’d fallen back asleep this morning and was still dreaming. He couldn’t pass up the opportunity to watch your body react to his touch, so he smiled as he dipped his head to drag the flat of his tongue up your wet folds, and the way your breath stuttered in your throat was far more enticing than it had any right to be. You attempted to push yourself up onto your elbows to watch– entirely enthralled with how Sebastian looked between your thighs– but then he took your clit between his lips and sucked, and you were pulling the sheets into your clenched fists and falling back against the pillows with a ragged moan.

Sebastian continued to toy with you that way for far too long for comfort– holding you hostage in some combined purgatory of bliss and torment as he sucked and lapped at your center. It was far too easy to reduce you to a pile of brainless mush given your fatigued, overly-sensitive state, and he was all too curious to discover how many new things you would let him get away with before you got impatient and started begging. 

With gentle, attentive hands, Sebastian coaxed you into raising one of your knees up so he could throw your leg over his shoulder, instantly coiling his strong arms under your waist to hold you firmly to his unrelenting mouth. His stomach flipped at how easily you relaxed for him, and you proceeded to fight your boneless nature so you could sit up and watch him with lust-dark, hazy eyes. Sebastian loved the attention– thrived on it, really– and he broke away from your overwhelmingly wet heat to pepper chaste kisses along the smooth hollow of your leg. You were already breathing heavier– your fingers twitching around handfuls of fabric– and when Sebastian moaned and slipped his tongue out in-between kisses to lightly run the tip along soft, sensitive skin, your breath caught audibly in your chest before you shuddered out a shaky sigh. 

When he first sank his teeth into the heated flesh midway up your inner thigh, he did so gently, but your hips still jerked at the sensation, and you couldn’t stop the wanton moan that slipped through your parted lips. “Fuck, Sebastian–” you groaned, your voice laced with obvious desire. You dug the heel of your foot into the middle of his back, silently imploring him to give you more, because the feeling of him marking you somewhere so sensitive was too fucking good. 

Sebastian flashed you a smug grin as he pulled away, but not before planting a lingering kiss along the faint imprints of his teeth. The gesture was warm and promising– as was the way his hand squeezed your waist before letting the leg over his shoulder fall back against the mattress. He moved to splay his hands over your hips, your thighs resting comfortably over his arms, but he let them stay spread open rather than using his grip to pull you around like he usually would. 

As his thumbs trailed gently along the curves of your hip bones, Sebastian leaned back down to brush another warm kiss along your inner thigh, humming at the way your muscles tensed slightly. He nuzzled up higher, then parted his lips against the soft skin to bite again, and this time he sucked steadily with the intent of leaving a dark, lasting mark there too. You moaned softly, your hips rocking up at the sensation, and as Sebastian worked yet another brand into your skin, your breath shifted into quiet panting as your hands twisted in the sheets. 

Satisfied with the deep purple of the bruise and the light imprint of his teeth around it, Sebastian pulled away and dragged the flat of his tongue over his brand soothingly, breathing a low groan as he did so. He admired it for a moment longer before he mouthed wetly up your leg further, his dark, messy curls brushing against the join of your thigh. 

He nuzzled closer to begin working another mark there, and the sharp sting of his lips and his teeth had you gasping– bending your free thigh up to let it fall to the side in a bid to give Sebastian all the room he wanted to keep going. He moaned encouragingly, squeezing your hips once again as you lifted them up for more, and he dragged his tongue up along the soft hollow of your thigh as his brow furrowed in concentration. 

“S-Sebastian,” you gasped, trembling under the brunet’s affection. The shaky insistence to your voice caught his attention, so he leaned up enough to look at you as he licked his lips and pet your hips soothingly. Swallowing heavily, you opened your eyes and shivered, meeting his gaze almost shyly before you murmured, “I-I don’t– I don’t usually like slow stuff.” 

Sebastian shifted up onto his elbows, idly drawing his palms back and forth over your flushed skin. His expression showed nothing but concern as he asked, “Do you want to stop?” 

You shook your head quickly, scooting your hips minutely towards him. “N-No, no– this is fine. Good, even, I… I like this.” 

Tilting his head to the side, Sebastian tried unsuccessfully to figure out what was happening, then cautiously asked, “Are you okay?” 

“Yes,” you answered firmly, leaving no room for doubt. You fidgeted for a few seconds, squirming under the obvious care Sebastian was showing for you until you eventually took a breath and relented. “I like this. A lot.” The freckled man only cocked a brow at you in confusion, but before he could move to crawl over you again, you huffed and flopped back against the mattress. “I like you leaving marks on me, too.” 

He mulled that over in his brain for a long moment, squinting slightly. “Okay…?” 

“You fucking ass,” you wheezed out, your breath akin to an overwhelmed laugh. “It’s because it’s you, Sebastian, Merlin’s beard– I like you.”

Pressing his lips into a thin line, Sebastian stared up at you again and carefully replied, “Thanks?” 

“Nevermind, I hate you,” you grumbled, slinging an arm over your face. “Forget I said anything.” 

“No– hold on–” he sputtered before sitting up straight, his arms sliding out from under your thighs. You appeared to be disgruntled by the change, but you didn’t come out from hiding to complain. “I mean– we’ve been fucking for like a year. I’d hope to the Gods you can stand me by now.” 

You groaned from beneath the safety of your arm shield, “I cannot believe I have to spell this out for you. I’ve been fucking you for like a year because I like you, you moonmind. Like, romantically. Very much into you, whether we’re fucking or not.”

With an uncomfortably loud click, Sebastian understood.

“Oh!” His eyes damn near popped out of his skull, his heart doing some insane acrobatics in his chest, but all of that took a backseat to the blissful realization that he wasn’t the only one with a big, gross crush. “Oh, shit, okay,” he sputtered, raking his hands through his hair. “Wow, okay. Fuck, sorry– I was totally involved in the hickey thing, my brain wasn’t on. Wow.” 

“Merlin’s balls,” you groused, already trying to roll away from Sebastian’s wildly embarrassing presence. “I should not have said anything.”

“No!” Sebastian scrambled up the bed to brace himself on his hands above you, caging you between his arms while his heart hammered away against his sternum. “No, no no, you definitely should have said something, darling– shit.” He paused to try and coax you into coming out of hiding, but when you resisted him firmly, he didn’t push it. Instead, he chewed the inside of his cheek and tried to get his racing thoughts in order so he wouldn’t blurt out something completely idiotic. 

“I am like, ridiculously in love with you.” 

Completely idiotic. 

You froze under him momentarily before peering up at him over your elbow, your wide-eyed stare bordering on horrified. Cursing under his breath, Sebastian buried his hands in his hair and stared right back, almost entirely sure he could feel his life force draining from his body. 

“I-I mean– fuck, wait–”

“Are you kidding me!?” You bolted upright– narrowly avoiding cracking your skull against Sebastian’s on the way up. Your fingers clamped down on his shoulders so you could rattle him slightly as you blurted, “What the hell, Sebastian! How long?” 

“I don’t know!” He threw his hands up and pointedly stared at the wall before grumbling, “I don’t fucking know, it’s not like it happened all at once. It started towards the end of our fifth-year and it just kinda… grew from there. Like a Horklump.” 

Sebastian realized how shitty that euphemism was when your mouth fell open in utter disbelief. “Did you seriously just compare your feelings for me to a fungus?” 

“Look, I’m sorry, okay?” He sat back on his heels, crossing his arms stiffly over his bare chest as he returned to staring at anything but you.

“For what, exactly?” You ran a trembling hand through your unruly hair, then dropped your gaze to the sheets. “For returning my feelings? Or for not saying anything before right now?” Sebastian just shrugged unhelpfully with his lips pursed. Groaning loudly, you flopped back onto the bed and stared at the ceiling for a minute, your irritated, murder face back in full swing. 

Just as Sebastian was starting to get worried by the awkward silence— doing his best not to fidget— you nodded to yourself and announced, “We should date each other.” 

“…Come again?” 

“We should date each other,” you repeated firmly, leaning up on your elbows again and exuding a confidence that had seemingly come out of nowhere. “I like you, you love me–” Sebastian did his best to not choke on his own tongue, “–we spend so much time together that we’re basically dating anyways. At least, Imelda seems to think so… it seems like a good enough idea to me, if you’re interested.” 

It took Sebastian a few seconds to untangle his tongue enough to reply, but when he did, all he could do was croak, “You want to date me?”

“Yes. I’d like that.” 

“…Are you high? Did you smoke Mallowsweet on your way here?”

You groaned and tipped your head back between your shoulders, very clearly searching for some semblance of patience. “I’m high on sleep deprivation, yes, but that doesn’t make my feelings any less real. They’re there whether I’ve slept or not. It’s actually hell.” 

Sebastian was still flabbergasted, staring down at you helplessly. “Why are you bringing this up now?” 

“I don’t know! I didn’t mean to full-on confess or anything, it just kind of came out that way. You were leaving hickeys on me, and I realized that whenever I wake up tomorrow, I’m gonna feel them and see them and remember how you fucking appeared out of nowhere right when I was wondering if you’d be pissed if I snuck into your dorm at the ass crack of dawn– and then I’ll remember how good you looked leaving them on me and how I totally wanted you to do slow mushy lovey sex stuff to me, and then I’ll probably sleep like shit for weeks fantasizing about that, and–”

“Okay, alright, damn,” Sebastian interjected, his face flushed an impressively dark shade of red.

“You asked,” you mumbled as you half-heartedly picked at the sheets. 

“I did, yeah.” Licking his lips quickly, Sebastian reached forward to rest his hand over yours, dragging his thumb along your knuckles soothingly. “I’d really, really like that. A lot, if I’m being honest. I’ve kind of dreamt about it for a while now.”

Your sheepish smile transformed rapidly into something purely elated, and you flipped your hand over to intertwine your fingers with his own as you playfully mused, “Not the only thing you’ve been dreaming about, apparently.” 

Sebastian laughed again, and this time it was less nervous and more breathless with relief. He leaned forward to brush his lips against yours, resting his free hand on your warm cheek, and you instantly relaxed for him as you tilted your chin up into the kiss as you gave his fingers a tentative squeeze. 

You fell back onto the bed again as you tugged Sebastian over you, loosely hooking your legs around his hips to keep him close. The brunet groaned and leaned into you, and when you threaded your fingers into his hair and pulled him into another kiss, he slipped his tongue between your lips with a shaky sigh– all too eager to put his hands all over you. Luckily you seemed to be of like mind, moaning against his mouth before pulling back just enough to whisper, “Touch me, please.” 

Sebastian nodded ardently and nipped at your flushed lips, shifting his weight to free up his hands so he could better run his palms along your sides. He squeezed gently before dragging one hand down to your still-slick heat, expertly seeking out your tiny bundle of nerves in a bid to reduce you to a mewling, gasping mess. Your spine rounded towards him as soon as he found it– an airy moan ripping from your throat as he pressed tight circles around the nub– and Sebastian swallowed your keening noises greedily. 

“Why are you still wearing these?” You murmured against his plush lips as your finger slipped beneath the waistband of his briefs, tugging softly to convey your request. 

There was no muffling his smug bark of laughter, and a feline smile split his face as he pulled back just enough to plant a featherlight kiss on the tip of your nose. “So impatient,” he teased, intentionally ignoring your hand on his undergarments in favor of sliding one of his skilled fingers through your folds. He replaced the missing finger against your clit with his thumb at the same time he inserted a digit inside of your pulsing walls, and the feeling had your head falling back as your lips parted around a stuttered gasp, your thighs tightening impossibly further around his waist. 

Undeterred, you blindly wiggled your hand under the hem of Sebastian’s underwear and tugged his arousal out with a practiced flick of your wrist. You wrapped your fingers around his girth and gave him a long, tight stroke– squeezing the head in the way you knew he liked– which in turn earned you a rough, wavering moan. Matching Sebastian’s pace was easy, and you stroked him steadily as you leaned up to seal your lips over his pulse to begin working a dark hickey of your own into his sweaty, freckled skin. 

Resting his weight on his free arm, Sebastian leaned closer as he sighed heavily while his brown eyes fluttered shut from the way your mouth felt on his neck. He rocked his hips into your hand and pumped his fingers a few more times inside of you before he was withdrawing the digits to push his briefs down all the way. You merely chuckled against his throat, pulling off of the fresh, blossoming mark with a satisfied hum before you laved your tongue over it. 

Once Sebastian had finally wrestled off his briefs and settled over you again, you tugged him by the neck back into a hungry kiss, and he groaned deeply at the way you moved perfectly against him. As you curled your tongue between his lips, your hands traversed down the broad expanse of his toned back to feel as much of him as you could, pawing encouragingly at his lower back to guide him into a languid, grinding rhythm against you. 

Sebastian let himself follow your lead for a few slow thrusts, but the way your skin felt against his– coupled with the way your quiet moans sounded muffled against his lips– was too tempting to overlook for long. Following a brief, bitey kiss, Sebastian dropped his hand between your legs once again to press at your wet, warm entrance. You shivered at the way his fingers felt against you as he coaxed you into relaxing, and your nails dug into his sculpted shoulders when he mercifully worked two of his thick digits inside of you. A string of moans and praises alike fell from your lips as your head lolled back against the pillows, and the remnants of Sebastian’s restraint began to slip away as a result. 

“Fuck, darling,” he keened breathlessly, unable to take his eyes off of your face as your expression shifted into one of pure pleasure. His buried his fingers to the knuckles, utterly overwhelmed at how tight you were, and he nudged his nose against your cheek as he murmured, “You look so fucking good right now…”

“Y-You may have mentioned that, yeah,” you laughed against his sweat-slick skin, blinking affectionately up at your now-boyfriend as he took in your pliant body beneath him, and the thought imbued you with a fresh sense of desire that you were desperate to act on. “Come on, I want you inside me already.” 

With a wheezy laugh, Sebastian nodded and ducked his head to catch your lips again as he started thrusting his fingers into your pulsing heat. He nibbled gently at your bottom lip when he buried his fingers deep to curl them towards your stomach, which in turn earned him a squeaky little moan that was immediately followed by an impatient wriggle of your hips. Your legs were trembling with barely contained want as you spread them further, and Sebastian took full advantage of the newly acquired space to readjust himself into a more comfortable position. 

By the time you were panting against him and rocking back onto his fingers, Sebastian was more than ready to move things along. He slid his fingers out and pulled away with another quick kiss before sitting up to steady his cock at your entrance. You helpfully wrapped your legs around his waist again, angling your hips towards him with a coy smile on your face until you felt the head of his achingly hard member bump against you. Sebastian flashed you a doting smile in return, and with an unhurried roll of his hips, he was sinking into you with a throaty groan that made your hair stand on end. 

“F-Fuck, you feel so warm– you’re perfect, darling,” he grit through his clenched teeth, plunging himself deeper inch by inch until he had bottomed out completely inside of you. The way your walls fluttered around him made him dizzy with need, but he noted the tension in your shoulders and forced himself to maintain his slow pace so you could get acclimated to the feeling. Sebastian was practically fluent in your stubborn body language by now, and he was nothing if not determined to get you to relax completely. 

Rather than thrusting deeper, Sebastian sighed and licked his lips as he glanced up at your face. You were an incredibly tense person on the best of days, but when you were running on fumes like this, he found it to be even harder to get you to release the mountain of stress you seemingly carried with you at all times. While he was all too used to the frown lines that so frequently cropped up between your brows, seeing them now just made Sebastian want to be even gentler with you– even more careful. 

He lightly nudged your head aside and set to dragging hot, wet kisses down the column of your throat, moaning wantonly at the bare salt of your sweat on his tongue. You shivered and gasped, tilting your head to the side with a low sigh to grant the brunet more access, and before long the combined feeling of Sebastian’s tongue and lips on your neck had you melting under him completely with your eyes blissfully closed. 

“That feels… really good,” you murmured with a low voice. It was pure rapture to feel Sebastian this way; moving slowly inside of you, his lips dancing down your throat and nipping softly at the skin there. His hands eventually crept up the pillows to tangle in your hair, and the enticing feeling of his nails scraping against your scalp was enough to have you tightening around his cock a fraction. 

The praise sent a bolt of confidence through Sebastian, and he moved from your neck back to your lips to slot your mouths together again. He gingerly pulled his hips back before rolling them forward, and when you moved down against him with a shaky breath, it was all the go-ahead he needed to keep going. 

The rhythm he fell into was slow and steady, moving inside you with long, easy thrusts while he ground against your ass every time he buried himself deep. His eyes remained trained on your face, your expression clearly showing how pleased you were to be taken care of. You weren’t squirming in blatant pleasure yet, but Sebastian figured this was a good enough first step. 

“C’mon, Sebastian– you’re putting me to sleep here,” you mumbled playfully, letting your arms rest above your head in the way Sebastian loved to see. His tempo faltered slightly, but your mischievous grin betrayed the legitimacy of the claim; he should’ve known you were simply teasing him, especially when he knew you always got a kick out of taunting him. 

“Oh yeah?” He practically purred, sitting back on his heels to wrap his hands around your hips as he hauled you aggressively into his lap. 

You adjusted to him easily, wiggling your hips in Sebastian’s grasp in a bid to spur him onward. “Yeah… jeez, Sallow, you had one job. Tsk tsk.” 

“Well, shit.” He grinned wickedly down at you as he rolled his hips back, pulling almost all the way out and relishing in the way your face fell briefly. He hovered there for a long, torturous second before he snapped his hips back into you, using his grip to hold you down on his cock as he ground deeper and harder than before. You were left gasping at the feeling, your head falling back as your fingers twisted in the sheets, and before you could recover, Sebastian rasped, “Guess I should fuck you better then, huh?” 

Without giving you room to breathe, Sebastian kept up his agonizingly slow pace, easily pulling you back onto his cock with every firm thrust. He fucked into you evenly– his strong hands controlling the rhythm in the way he knew drove you crazy– and it earned him a cacophony of shaky moans that fell from your flushed, bitten lips. 

“Yeah,” you replied finally, your voice tight and shaky. “You have to keep me up all morning, remember?” 

It was a simple enough statement, but the way it rolled off of your tongue made it sound absolutely filthy. Your raspy voice was dripping with lust, your hot breath panting out between your parted lips, and that was more than enough to light a fire in Sebastian’s blood. 

Groaning roughly, Sebastian paused long enough to hook his arms under your knees to haul them easily over his shoulders. You gasped as the movement lifted you off of your hips– then again when he nipped sharply at the inside of your knee before sucking hard enough to leave another flushed bruise there. The sensation had you squirming in Sebastian’s lap to the best of your ability, moaning breathlessly as he ground into you with a low rumble. 

Once he was satisfied with his mark, the freckled man rubbed his hands slowly down your tense thighs, leaning over you on his hands again so you were effectively bent back and pressed against the sheets. Sebastian leaned more of his weight into you– sinking deeper– and just as you were opening your mouth to urge him on, he started moving again. 

He picked up his pace from before easily, but now, every slow, hard thrust stuffed you full of him, and it didn’t take him long to find the angle that had you gasping sweet little moans with every shaky breath. 

Writhing under him, you arched your back and gasped Sebastian’s name as your hands tightened in the covers above your head and pulled ardently. He was fucking you slowly– but at this angle everything felt so intense– enough so that any teasing pretense you’d previously had was quickly washed away beneath constant, steady waves of pleasure. Your toes curled in the air behind him as your thighs quivered and flexed against his chest, but beyond that, you were entirely at his mercy. 

An animalistic sound reverberated from deep within Sebastian’s chest, and his own fingers gripped the sheets on either side of your head. The view he had of you was fucking insane; between the incredible face you were making, the way every thrust sent electric little sparks all throughout the both of you, and the way your cunt tightened around his cock with every deep thrust– he couldn’t help but moan your name, brainless praises falling from his lips whenever he could string the words together. 

“S-Sebastian,” you gasped, shakily riding your hips up against the brunet’s to meet his every thrust with keening moans. “Sebastian, fuck– more, more, please–”

He made a soft, broken sound at that, then shrugged your knees off his shoulders to let them fall into the bends of his elbows instead. Surging forward, he captured your lips with his and slipped his tongue between them, and you took full advantage of the closer proximity by burying your fingers in his messy, brown curls and pulling him impossibly closer. 

With you bent nearly in half this way, your knees almost touched the sheets and in turn gave Sebastian the room to pull back farther and thrust deeper– managing to maintain his steady rhythm and simultaneously drag his cock hard all along your sweet spot. You were positively shaking under him, gasping pretty, noisy little sounds into your shared kiss as you wound your fingers restlessly through his hair and pulled just to have something to hold onto. Sebastian squeezed his eyes shut and pumped his hips harder, his self-control stretched thin by how perfect you were. 

How you looked, how you sounded, how you felt… he wanted more of you– more of the loud, pleading moans that tumbled from your kiss-swollen lips. 

“Gods, darling–” Sebastian leaned down and sank his teeth into the crook of your neck, pressing his body against yours as much as he could. You bucked up against him and cried out at the sharp, sweet sting of your lover’s teeth, your head writhing against the pillows frantically as your hands fisted in his hair so you could press his face encouragingly against your flushed throat. It pulled a brutal groan from Sebastian as he bit harder, sucking yet another dark bruise into your skin, and the sound you made in response was enough to send his mind spinning.

Your voice echoed off the walls of the bedroom, your loud moans and cries of his name falling freely from your lips as Sebastian marked you mercilessly. The ragged sounds coming out of him almost sounded like growls muffled against your throat, and the feeling of being so full had you arching your back clean off the mattress. Your nails raked viciously down his neck and shoulders before digging into his strong biceps, but the sting from the welting lines only served to rile him up further. 

When you threw your head to the side and began shaking, your voice cracking as you wailed for Sebastian in the way that told him you were close, he pulled his arm out from under your trembling thigh to plant his thumb firmly against your clit and began rubbing tight circles against the overly-sensitive bundle of nerves. As he brought you closer to your climax, gasping filthy praises between stuttered moans, Sebastian sped up his pace until he was pounding his cock into you, doing his best to keep you bent at that perfect angle as he did so. Your entire body seemingly snapped off the bed– arched tight and clinging hard to his larger frame as you clawed your nails down his arms– and your airy voice rose higher and transformed into a desperate, overwhelmed scream that cracked and made Sebastian’s brain go completely blank. 

You shook apart entirely in Sebastian’s arms, tight and blindingly hot around his cock, squirming beautifully under him as he fucked you through your orgasm. Your slick coated his shaft as he relentlessly pumped into you, until the thunderous rush of his own climax crashed down around him. Warm, thick ropes of his cum filled you as he emptied himself inside, and Sebastian swore nothing on this Earth could ever hold a candle to how marvelous the feeling was.

He was vaguely aware of himself moaning your name over and over again– stammering out mumbled praises of good, so good darling, fuck. His hands gripped your hips tight as he curled over you and clung to you for dear life while he mouthed brainlessly against your heated skin. It took both of you a few long minutes to come down from your peaks; you with your arm slung over your eyes, and Sebastian slowly wrapping himself tighter and tighter around you to gather you closer. Even once the trembling had subsided, he couldn’t find a good enough reason to move. He twitched his hips back to pull out– mostly for your sake– but that was about all he could manage. 

“Holy shit,” you rasped out after a while, catching Sebastian’s bleary attention. He blinked up at you and watched as you dropped your arm above your head to stare up at the ceiling, and he hungrily took in the steady rise and fall of your bare chest as you caught your breath. 

He snorted softly and dragged his palms along your still shaking thighs– still loosely draped around his waist. “You alright?” There was something to be said about how pleased he was by the low, smokey sound of his own voice, and evidently you were too, considering how it sent more shivers up your spine. You nodded though, tugging at his shoulder to silently urge him closer. 

Sebastian slithered up until he was close enough to catch your lips, allowing you to pull him into a lazy, sated kiss while your fingers combed through his tangled curls. All too graciously, he melted against you– for once not fighting the desire to affectionately trail his knuckles down the line of your jaw. After a few minutes of languid kissing and mindless touching, Sebastian rolled to the side and let you readjust so you were laying on your side with your back to his chest, giving him the chance to wind his arms around your waist and hold you against him. 

He knew he was meant to be keeping you awake leading up to Potions class, but a few minutes of rest wouldn’t hurt. Beyond a herd of Thestrals stampeding through the room, Sebastian sorely doubted that anything could drag him away from this moment with you. He’d waited long enough for it as it was. 

—

After turning your assignment in and sitting through a particularly dreadful lesson for an hour, you’d finally been free’d from the shackles of the education system for the weekend, and you’d quickly found yourself sprawled across Sebastian’s bed with the curtains drawn. You were currently dead asleep and likely to stay that way for a while, but the brunet didn’t mind in the slightest. He wasn’t particularly tired, but he was especially interested in lengthy cuddling with his girlfriend, so he had no problem with the current arrangement. 

With his fingers tangled idly in your sleep-mussed hair, Sebastian watched as the bright streaks of daylight moved across the ceiling while you used his chest as a pillow, far too content to be bothered by how damn long it took to get to this point. 

[lantur]

I got back home to Derek and Westin on Tuesday night, after spending about a week at my parents' in California. It was a tough visit. I'm glad to be home, in my safe place where I feel most comfortable and secure, with my husband and my cat, who support me so much.

I was telling Derek yesterday that I can't wait for 2022 to be over. This has been the hardest year of my life. In April, Derek had to go to the hospital due to recurrent episodes of supraventricular tachycarditis, which turned out to be a complication of undiagnosed thyroiditis. April was also an extremely busy month at work, and my mom visited for two weeks, which can be stressful.

May was relatively calm. Halfway through June, almost two months ago, my dad was diagnosed with extensive-stage small cell lung cancer. Since then, it's been a lot of stress. I spent June 18 - July 4 with my parents in California, and flew back to California again from August 3 - August 9. I call my parents twice a day to talk to them when I'm not there.

I've kept on top of working both of my jobs. I've kept up with friends, which has been a valuable source of comfort, joy, and support. I spend as much time with Derek and Westin as I can, which brings me joy.

I'm just. I'm exhausted. There have been a lot of complicated issues and emotions around my dad's diagnosis and the choices he's made around his treatment plan that I haven't gotten into here because I don't have the energy to type it out. I've been seeing my therapist weekly. But I'm at a point where I'm needing to be honest with myself and say I don't think I have the strength or energy to fly halfway across the country to visit my parents every month. They're aware of that now too, even though they would prefer to see me every month.

The past two months have been hell. I think I'm at a point now, now that I'm recovered from the shock of my dad's diagnosis and through a part of the grief journey, and now that I'm not depressed, that I need to focus on taking care of myself again. Doing the things that bring me joy - my yoga videos every morning, swimming, walks with Derek in the neighborhood, drinking my homemade iced tea, cooking, sitting out on the patio and reading and eating fruit, watching The West Wing, spending weekends writing, spending time with the people who lift the weight off my shoulders.

The truth is that I would not wish this reality, of a parent's diagnosis with an aggressive cancer, with a poor long-term prognosis, with seeing your parent struggle with chemo, on my worst enemy. But this is my life now, and I need to make the best of it and not let it crush me.

Sometimes I think that I'm only 29, just 3 months from 30. I'm too young for this. My mom was 34 when her dad died from complications of Parkinson's disease and she felt she was young to bear that loss. My father-in-law and mother-in-law are in their 60s and their parents are still alive, in their 90s. My mother's mother lived until her 90s; my mom was 65 when my grandmother passed.

I have a lot of trauma I'm still working through from my mom's life-threatening illness and lengthy hospitalization in 2009 when I was 16. I know this journey with my dad has been and will be traumatic - but I have the support, and the skills to take care of myself and protect myself to some extent, now, that I didn't have 14 years ago.

I'm looking at this long post and shaking my head at myself. I'm definitely due for my therapy appointment tomorrow, lmao. I had to miss a week since I didn't see my therapist while I was in California. One hundred gold stars for anyone who read this far.

Some good things:

I got my work done today. I went for a swim. I cleaned the house. I chatted with my friend. I sat on the patio after dinner and read an amazing book and ate watermelon with lime juice with Derek beside me. Life is hard, but I'm still really grateful for the things I do have. My husband, my cat, my friends, my safe home, my work.

[secretbangtnn]

Love Lies | kth I

➤ summary : You never had it easy. From the first day of your life it seemed like fate was a big joke, making every effort to make you feel miserable. Shortly after taking the first step into adulthood, you are convinced that childhood doom follows you like a shadow. On the verge of being broke without any help, you take your friends advice and try your hand in industry you have no idea about.

➤ genre : CEO! au, prostitution but not really au, strangers to enemies to lovers, Smut, fluff, angst

➤ pairing : Taehyung x reader ft. Jimin (This chapter Jimin x reader)

➤ ratings : 18+ NSFW

➤words : 10k

➤ warnings : swearing, prostitution, sex for money, mentions of mental health, toxic household, mentions of violence, explicit sexual content, mxm, fxm, family problems, dishearitance, toxic relationship, Taehyung is bad at feelings, reader is lost, soft boy jimin, sexy hot taehyung (couse that will need a warning) - more to be added

notes ~

I finally did it! I'm so sorry for the wait and how the chapter came out - it's a little more messy than I predicted but i wanted to give you something before the big story. I promise the next chapter is going to start with the big action and main plot and finally with Taehyung. I really hope for some feedback, I worked hard for it to be done before the next week and even though it may seem boring i really hope it’s okay.

taglist:

@jinssexytoe @danyxthirstae01 @alwaysasadaesthetic @luvmingyu @chimincubus @minshookie29

Underneath the sunrise

Show me where your love lies

Relationships that are based on lies never last long and everyone who found themselves in artificial feelings, knows of the truth of those words. Although that sweet sinful lie sometimes replaces that thing we could have never got.

You never thought about yourself as someone low, at least not that low to kneel to beg of something so materialistic like money.

You respected yourself at the same time being sure that you would fight everything alone. Just like a good fighter - you didn't need a good sword in a big war. Even once in your whole life you wouldn't have thought of stepping that low to actually work as a cleaner in old school or supermarket lady, that couldn't even use the calculator right.

How ironic, we love when inevitable doom falls on people that did not deserve it.

You were taught from the beginning, how to live, what to do, how to look, and the most important who to listen to. It's so weird when we find a character that's not extremely bad or good, not the shy mouse of the school, also not the hot rebellious cool girl with too big ego, and mouth so unbelievable that you actually start to think if you have ever met someone without such basic manners.

Fact is that you are bland, your life never yours to live, as someone recorded it with a script in their hands, and a plan for an ending and second part. It was frustrating knowing how many people never cared about you, however you could not say that you indeed did too.

Lessons were taught, those made you somehow resistant to disappointments in life. First happening in early stage, not even first year of your high school, people started to know - know about this and that, about family of yours and how privileged they would be if they had you on their side.

But you did not have a problem with it, mindset so set that you liked to think about money as a guarantee of friendship. And with this thought you let the first people use you, not minding their motive of only getting part of your prosperity.

So you believed to those days that your childhood indeed was normal.

You never tried to run from your life, you never saw yourself as a hormonal teenager in need of attention.

In the end only those who were born in respecting families, where work and pride is placed higher than blood ties, knows how upringbing really looks in such a household. Your standart always high, doing that to not need to put it higher again.

Parents instilling you dreams that were not yours, making you believe in something they always wanted. Like it was written, your whole life does not belong to you, and realization over it came in the moment when it was a little too late. Happy smiles never real, friends you swore would not leave you, disappeared within a night.

However let’s not impose that your parents were monsters, killing you on the inside with their cold demeanor or making your life miserable.

The first problem began when you had enough, when a virus in your mind told you about your own desires.

You remember this day like it was yesterday. Invisible mark on your check is still pulsating, with a wound much deeper inside screaming at you that it is still not healed.

“I want to study medicine.” Those were the exact words you first told your mother, freezing her in place and scarring inside with the power and destruction they held. She did not hold back with ignoring you, acting like the sentence was a mere passing wind, just fluffing hair in a not nice type of way. You expected that, nothing new from a shell of a person your mother has become, money and power empowering her mind, probably killing the young woman you are now, in her.

So the first step of actually making a point of how you processed to cut your family ties, were with your mother, kind of preparing you for what has to come.

Dark room, with marble accents and a woody smell that came straight to your nostrils. Mahogany desk, big enough to contain tons of papers scattered over it like some kind of nto important rubbish. You however knew better, and those innocent stock of inked pages held more value than maybe you yourself.

It was so hard to breathe in this tiny space, now feeling ever more closed up, dark and not welcoming. You tried to believe that the reason for it was not really a man sitting just before you, not minding your presence in a slighlets, but a stress and emotions on your back, you were trying to bear by yourself.

“I’m busy.” Short answer, not even directed to you - not that the man ever looked at you with those dark eyes. Predictable, exactly like you guessed. Cold feeling with a hot flush over your cheek, not knowing where the previous patience had gone.

Maybe you finally had enough. You were too tired to try to understand.

“Dad, please listen to me.” Ice cold bucket over your head, a void eyes now on you, not really expecting them to stay on you for so long, or even look up. Pupils a little blow out, stirring the dark color pallet of his eyes, similar to the tone of the bags under them. What a wrack of a man he really was, lanky hands under the suit, scribbling over something not even a minute ago, now lying lifelessly on a brownish desk.

“You really couldn't find better time for your whining? Go on, I still have a lot of work to do before I need to actually go.” Unconcern, you could even feel the unitresment oozing from him, hitting you with those eyes. They were looking at you, but at the same time it felt like they never were there. Black holes, no feelings found, gaze scary for those who never met someone so indifferent.

“I dropped out.”

“What?” Words came after some silence, piercing straight your beating heart. Hands in fist, just beside your thighs, so white that it could even be a little concerning for those looking from the side. You were nervous, even after you told yourself that this conversation was not going to be easy. Smooth information that it should be, your own life choices never discussed so openly.

“I dropped out of college”

Not a breath was heard, a heavy hand landed on the desk with a smack, knocking in the process some of the scattered pens.

“You did what?” Too calm, his voice was too calm for such information. Nerve wracking feeling once again welcomed you inside, making you take one step back. Soft material of the shirt creased under your hard grip. “It’s not the time for such a jokes Y/n”

“I’m not joking dad, I took the papers yesterday. I'm tired of wasting my time on something I never wanted.”

“Oh? But are you really? What are you going to do then? I'm getting really curious” Tone momocking you in every kind of way. You clench your teeth, an annoyed expression came over your face, just to disappear within one glance of the man.

Questions were rhetorical, laughing at your whole being in the cruelest manner. He knew about your every vulnerability, molding your persona from the beginning. So it must have been funny for him, seeing a little girl, someone he treated not entirely equally, however putting some kind of hope and dreams he himself could not reach, standing before him like a scared puppy asking for a treat.

“You yourself know the best how important those studies are for you. You prepared your whole life to go there and take my place one time, so don’t joke about it like it’s some kind of dish you are bored of eating.”

“You forced me to do it! I never wanted to take your place, study the stupid law.”

“And you decided that this is the time to suddenly realize that? Y/n from the beginning, we always gave you what you wanted, fulfilling your every wish, buying everything you wanted, and even after that you can’t be grateful. We only asked you for one thing, one thing Y/n, there is not such a thing like your dreams, there is only our family.” You wanted to laugh, those stupid exucess, only making you annoyed and wroked up. Manipulating you into believing you were selfish, that you are the problem, and you owe them right to living.

“Don’t be ridiculous father, you are not in the place to talk about family or do I need to remind you of Na-”

You heard it before you felt it. Burning feeling right in your left cheek, head on the side from the harash contact it made with the ringed hand. It was not the first time you saw or experienced such an act. Father being the man that loved to lose his temper rather fastly, hiding on the outside behind the calm demeanor and innocent smile.

Blood on your tongue, the metallic taste in your mouth like a forbidden flower you just tasted.

“You really want me to get mad today hm? “ You really wanted to nod, looking straight at him from your hair that fell after the slap. Hand on the cheek, trying to stop the pulsating ache to echo so much, however you know the best that the hot feeling is only building up and it's the only matter of time till the beautiful tones of purple show on your soft skin.

His own hands now begin viped over the handkerchief, a little blood over the white fabric, likely from the little scratches the rings were able to make.

His back to you as he went back behind the dark desk, sitting on his chair like nothing happened. And you knew, secretly that it was the end, that the conversation was done and nothing else could be said.

You closed your eyes, not even noticing you did it, realizing it after the first salty tear fell to your mouth, giving you a taste of sorrow. Head down, not in shame but in anger, with a pulsating cheek not letting you forget about the consequences your every word bears, you turned around going to the door that before somehow gave you so much hope.

“Oh and Y/n, there is no you without this family, but there is family without you. It won’t be the first time when I lose a child.”

Those exact words hunted you till this day. Rather heavy feeling, three years not long enough to make you forget, or let you accept a new life.

Loud noise of passing cars just outside the dirty window with a pounding of heart echoing in your ears. It was one of those bad days - you liked to say, those however started happening a lot of more. Breaking was never something you wanted to do, working so many jobs you could not count on your fingers, living in shitty apartments for no longer than two months just to end up on someone's couch.

That is the life you chose, the life you barely lived, everyday wishing for a miracle.

Harsh paper under your fingers, weighting your hand weirdly down - maybe it was the words that made the letter so heavy, maybe the truth you needed to face. Fact is that you do not know what to do, trying for the last months to make a living for yourself, get better pay and settle down for a longer time.

Words of your father echoing once again, making your eyes squish with the feeling. It was so hard to accept a defeat, something that you worked so hard for and for so long. You could not beg, you could not go on your knees again, and even if it was an option, imagines and memories of life in such a household keep you in the place you are now.

Head resting under your arms, shielding bright rays of sun from your eyes, long locks falling down in waves just over your pale face. You pulled them with a strength you did not know you possessed at the moment, as if it was because of them you needed to deal with all of this.

“Think Y/n, think” Mutters fell from your mouth like a mantra, supposed to make you cheer up a little. Void in your head, not ending emptiness that scares you as much as the strings of unpaid numbers on this goddamn paper.

An late hour struck on the side clock, hanging on one of the grey walls of the run down apartment you lived in. Sight itself is depressing, leaving you in wonder if maybe it is not one of the reasons for your current mood.

Who you wanted to trick.

A little knock once again echoed in the quietness of your home, reminding you of the late hour. Looking from your thick locks of hair, you sighed seeing how little time you actually got to get there. With one move, you left the scrap of paper on the side, and stood up from the ugly green couch, taking in the process bag of the crookedly hanged hook.

Fast footstep as you nearly run over one of the olders ladies living in the same flat, trying to messily wrap an apron over your waist, which is not as easy as it seemed to be earlier. Bluish fabric holding on to you with all the power, hanging a little on the too long strings, that untied themselves with each step.

You tried not to think about all those stares, looking at you as you run past them, not minding where your feets go, or if you accidentally push someone on the side. Let people think what they want, it's not like your opinion matters, and being a disgrace to your whole family disappears.

Familiar neon letters came to your sight forming the greenish title of caffe you soon found yourself in. A little bell rang as the door opened informing everyone about your presence. Calm atmosphere, everyone was busy in their own word, you loved this, a quiet place which you often found yourself admiring.

You wished that working there was not such an obligation, the only thing that let you stay in your current apartament. Rosy cheeks, and cheeky smiles as people got their morning coffee, thanking you quietly for the drink with such a pure impression, that you could not hold back the smile you gave each one of them.

“I’m so sorry for being late, I hope you didn’t need to run too much.” You said between heavy breaths, still trying to catch remaining puffs of air, head tilted to the side, hands on knees as you looked at the little blonde behind the counter.

Said boy only laughed a little, shaking his head from the embarrassment after the statement. Ringed hands cleaning some cups, quiet melody living his plump lips.

“Am I suppose to feel offended? I’m not an old man you know.” He asks, knowing that the answer will never be given. Voice on the lighter side, something you would expect from such a soft looking boy, warm and sweet to listen, and you indeed do, always keeping quiet when the boy talked about his own day to fill the quietness of your workplace.

You knew the boy was one of the things that made you feel normal, with his bright persona and angelic personality, you liked to believe he was one. He did not ask, knowing some things should stay in the dark, and you repaid him the same, being fully aware of the boy's secrets.

“Not at all. Beside we all know that it's not about you, but about who will get in trouble from your whining - and yes, it would be me. “ You say, patting his back on the way to the other side. Confused gaze now on you, as you smirk at the questioning boy waiting for some kind of elaboration, only getting from you another cup to wipe.

“Should i remind you of a certain person, which came to me with a complaint of how his favorite boy was tired - what was his name? Oh yeah Yo-”

“I don’t know what you are talking about.”

You laughed at the squeaky voice that came in a form of fast spoken answer, a little too fast to understand every word completely. Pretty blush came over his round cheek, soon appearing on tips of his lears, hidden by mop of blonde hair.

Not a piece of judgment in your gaze, but rather sweet caring look over the embarrassed boy next to you, trying so hard not to look bothered by your everyday teasing, that he was slowly getting accustomed to, liking how your voice gets a little lighter, your eyes light up and a pure giggle leaves your mouth.

Yeah he definitely could live with it if it means he can see the sparkle pops out in the dark of your pupils.

Cup in his hands a little heavy with the next thought that came over him. Melody coming with the pleasant wind of the early monday morning, his eyes however discreetly gazing over your figure. He knew when the times were worse, when your collarbones stood out more, welcoming i'm from the collar of an old shirt, you probably needed to wash by hands, and he hated that even if he tried to explain it, not care so much, he simply could not stop the worry seeking of him.

You were a sweetheart, never judging him, understanding his reason even after he told you about the second job he needed to take. You simply smiled, wishing him all good, and getting excited about dreams that were not your own, laughing with him and talking about his future plans as if you had place in them.

Thanks were never enough to pay off all the hardship you helped with. He respected you, admired so many things about you, how you don’t need a reason to give an arm to cry on, always taking a piece of burden on your own shoulders, whispering promises and talking about a better future that comes with hardships.

“Don’t be so embarrassed~ “ You sing to his ear when you pass him, going over to the coffee machine, big bag of beans in your hands. “I dare to say I got a little jealous when I saw him for the first time.”

“Gosh I hate you sometimes.” He whines, throwing his head back, closing his eyes to remain calm. Smile now on your lips, little giggles leaving your busy persona, trying not to be too loud in such an early hour.

An enjoyable silence came over once again, only sounds of working machines and knocks of cups, that were cleaned and wiped, mind automatically getting fuzzy from the fresh brew of coffees and autumn wind. Not a person in a shop, being still a little too early to welcome customers or get a morning drink, subtle music playing a little louder at those times filling little breaks of silence.

So how surprising it was, when those little giggles tickled your own ears suddenly and strong arms, clothed in white shirt, sneaked around your waist, making you lose the focus on filling the cup with beans. Blonde hair over your cheek, stroking the soft skin with a funny feeling, only pushing you to squirt more.

“You know if you liked him so much, you could have just said. I would think of something.” He whispers mockingly, smacking his lips in the end. Shiver comes with his next move, hands on your hips, keeping them from stirring so much, hot and on the smaller side however still noticeably bigger than your own. “Sadly I do not share my clients.”

With those words, he quickly detaches himself, hitting your bum with a cheeky smile that you soon could see right before you as the boy grabs one of the fresh croissants, putting the whole thing into his mouth.

“It must be big for you to say that.” You laugh, looking at the choking boy with the same expression he was giving you not even a minute ago.

“That was totally inappropriate.” Says blonde, chugging a glass of water you gave him out of pity.

“Now, don’t play an innocent Jimin, I see how you look at that one girl that comes here every friday. Didn’t you even memorize her order - gosh i heard you repeating it so many times that I know it myself.”

“Okay, okay maybe you are right, but it doesn’t mean you can judge me.”

“Would I ever?” A dramatic sight from the boy's accusations leaves your lips, you touch your heart looking at him with the most hurt eyes you could manage to do, a little tear spins in your eye. Mouth full of baked goodie, he laughs showing a little of non eaten food, with a proud expression to it. Your own smile now noticeable on face, happy feeling over your whole being, loving how this short amount of time with the bubbly boy let you forget about some problems. You take one of the left rags of the counter and throw it at his face, hoping to get him to work. “Stop eating! We are opening soon and I don't want to listen to how the coffee machines should be ready before the first client, because someone didn’t want to move his ass.”

“Just say you don’t want to deal with that old raisin.”

Nobody did, but Jimin had some superpower you sadly did not possess, and could at least shut the old businessman that somehow always comes first. Coming back to an earlier job, you pour black beans in the measuring cup, trying not to let the weight of the bag swoop you.

Place once again in a nice atmosphere, Jimin singing somewhere in the back, probably preparing syrups and goodies, sorting eveyrything on the displae plate. You two fell in a pleasant rhythm, doing your jobs like robots, knowing where things should go, and how not to disturb each other in the middle of action.

And it was something you really enjoyed, that piece and order, making you feel secure at least in such a place. Like you had power over your own life, your hands did what you wanted, your mind clear with tasks to be done.

Peace.

You both knew that this place was a mere act in the theatre of lies, you played in. Cafe such like that one, a happy place for two broke students, that tried everything in their power to make a living, pursue dreams so far away, still hoping that they are not going to disappear with all the hardships.

You could just drown in this lie of beauty picture you painted yourself, pretending your lifes do not look as bad, and even though you did not know the boy so well, you could tell from his eyes that he indeed is a player in the same game as you.

The truth being you did not know each other, you were not close. You knew about his job, about his own problems - some of them left unsaid, but who could you judge when you acted exactly the same.

Understanding from each other was enough.

However the boy tried to help you, offering sum of money or better paid jobs in times when you were too tired to hide it, those although - he learned after some time, never were an option for you.

And so with the next passing wind, the first client came welcoming you with kind of a grumpy smile, wishing for you to just make him the coffee. It was as always, a busy morning on the first day of the week, that always seems a little more crowded than any other, with business men and middle aged women trying to get over their morning sickness as fast as possible.

You saw the girl you talked about some minutes ago, looking from her covering eyes bangs, squashed from pink beanie on her head, nevertheless still laid perfectly. A little wave, hand hid under the panda mittens she liked to wear every other day the temperature goes down.

You smiled at the interaction, the excited smile on Jimin's face he tried so hard to hide, not doing a good job with his nearly nonexistent eyes that disappeared just because of it. She was pretty, a student in a university you both go to, however you were not sure what exactly she was majoring in.

Her funky style makes you take a shot at something related to fashion, but that might be completely wrong and the girl could just like wearing such bright clothes.

“Love the mittens, they look nearly as cute as you.” You heard, looking back from your busy hands, to gaze at the flustered pair. Adorable giggle soon leaves her mouth, covering lips with the said gloves as her own eyes disappear from weirdly similar eyesmile.

Jimin was a sweetheart, someone who deserved a happy future. And so you did everything to make that happen, wishing him the best and trying to help him even if it means your own happiness goes on a second plan.

“I'm sorry but could I order.” Coming back to your own job, you look up immediately, catching the gaze of one of the clients you did not recognize.

“Oh yes of course, I'm sorry for the wait. What can I get you?”

----

A loud noise of a closing locker echoes in a quiet room in the back of the coffee shops. Night air chilling from the open window you opened some minutes ago, to get rid of a smell so many people.

The calm of the room soothing your buzzing nerves and shaking hands, that always seems to do it after a hard day of work. Your attention now somewhere else as you try to take off the blue apron, laying it somewhere on the lonely bench next to you.

It was a busy day, helping you forget about what waits for you at home, and what person will probably visit you in the meantime. You didn’t like those times, the quiet after such hard working hours, leaving you with anxious thoughts rotating around the same problems you tried so hard to run away from.

So you tried once again, silence your mind with your hands, taking every job you could, now wiping lockers that never needed to be wiped before. The same rug from before in your hands, sliding over an uneven surface.

“Y/n?” You jumped from the sudden voice, swearing that Jimin was in the other room just a second ago. Turning around, you try to look unbothered, clenching the old rug in your hands with such interest. A little noise comes from your mouth, hum to let him know you are aware of his presence.

“Everything alright?” He asks a little unsure of the question, looking at you from the other side of the room, close to the door connected to the main room.

“Yeah, why would there not be?

“You were cleaning the lockers like not even a minute ago.” He says without thinking. Voice somehow suspicious, full of hidden concern as his suspicions from before seem to be true. You were not alright, and Jimin knows exactly what it may be. “If you need hel-”

“I'm alright! I'm really alright there is no need to worry, I'm just stressed because med major is harder than I thought.” The sigh is enough to let you know that he is not buying it.

Hard steps as he comes closer, opening his own locker situated right next to you, eyes glazing back at you from his clothes is started to put back. Tight lipped smiles is the only thing you are capable of answering with, catching his dark stare for a second.

“Im worried, and I know what you want to say, but I can’t help it. You are always the one that takes my burden so why can I not do the same?” He closes the locker with too much strength, making you jump again from the loud noise.

“It’s different.”

“How is it different? You help me with everything, you let me cry, you let me crash at your apartment when my parents try to make a mess again, so what’s the problem with me?! You don’t even want to tell me what's wrong dammit.” His eyes glassy from all the emotions, hands in a fist as if he tried to hold himself back. He turned completely to you, cornering you to the lockers behind, not letting you leave this time.

“Is it because of my work? Are you ashamed to take dirty money from someone who can’t earn normally and needs to sell themself. Is it this?! Tell me Y/n, I’m tired of seeing you in such a state, you are my friend.”

“You know it’s not that.” You tried to argue catching his watery eyes.

“So tell me, tell what is going on.”

Your own mouth in agape, words lost somewhere in the back of your head. So many years going alone, keeping everything to yourself shows itself with such a hestation of saying easy words that could let you breathe easier at night.

But would they really?

Giving someone your own burden was something you were taught as a shame. Problems should stay in family, and even there your father always told you to fight them alone.

“I - “ Eyes hopeful, looking at you with new found desperation. Big and different from the ones he was giving the sweet girl with panda mittens, and that alone made you sick knowing that the sparkle left because of you. “I’m sorry Jimin I just can’t.”

And you broke. With the remaining energy you mustered, you fell onto Jimin, him nearly not catching you on time. First tears fell, with such a power, rolling down your cheeks, wetting the soft fabric of Jimin’s shirt. You did not know why, why now you decided to just let go, sobbing so much, hoping the boy will understand that you only need someone to hold you.

And he did, wrapping his arms so securely around, letting you hide the red face in a crock of his neck. Fresh smell of flowers and perfume he always wore with a noticeable hint of coffee, you probably possesed yourself. Quiet whispers of comfort, tickling your scalp a little, hands patting your hair with care, brushing them with such a delicacy, like he secretly knew how breakable you are now.

“It’s going to be okay.” Void promise, his lips close to you kissing your forehead, with shaky hands trying so hard to gather every tear that fell down. With a little move he sat on a bench, an apron which you earlier left there dropped on the floor, a quiet thud ran in the small room, you on his lap, trying so hard to become smaller nearly molding in the bigger body of Jimin’s.

Sorry’s fly through your mouth, realizing it after Jimin's starts to rock your body. He peels your face from the safe space of his neck, wiping your running tears with both of his thumbs and trying to smile a little.

“I know it’s hard, but sometimes we need to let someone in, let them help put broken pieces together.” Eyes shining in the dim light of the room, your mouth ready to disagree quickly however quieten by his own speech. ”I know what you want to say Y/n” He starts again taking a big breath. “Being helpless doesn’t mean being weak, asking for help is not something to be ashamed of. Being strong however - is letting someone in, taking they hand and standing up with them - you have to have courage to do it, and I know you do to - but whoever put such a toxic mindset in you, keeps you from it and you need to realize that there is no longer people who will judge you for falling down a litte.”

Eyes falling down, sore from all the crying that has no plans to stop. You wipe the snot with your sleeve as well as wet cheeks, laughing a little after it, sniffles in the room as you try to calm yourself a little.

Jimins gaze still at you, now softer still brushing your hair in a calming manner with the second hand drawing circles on the side of your waist. It was shameful, hearing such words, knowing deep down they were true, but too prideful to agree with them.

“Gosh If I knew you cry like that, I would take a bucket with me. I wouldn’t need to pay water bills for like two months with it. “ He laughs as you smack him with your hand. Smile on your face, you tilt your head leaning on his arm with all the weight, a small sigh leaves your mouth. Smell of coffee now is more prominent with his own perfume, which he wears everyday, pushing your mind into own fuzzy feeling. “You know that I will always be there for you, right?”

A silent nod is enough, not too much to say after such an outbreak from your side still buzzing inside you. You know it was true, with how much you both came through together, it would be stupid to leave someone who become somehow a safe heaven.

“What are you going to do now? You won’t take any money, I guess you either are not going to be too willing to crash in my apartment.” Your head immediately shots up, eyes searching those of Jimin. A look of confusion cross your face for a second, with the words repeating in your mind once again. His face however is still serious, not leaving your surprised gaze.

“W-what how do you kno -”

“Your landlord called, I didn’t want to disturb you on your break - by the way I saw you sleeping you are not as sneaky as you think.” He interrupts you in the middle of talking, brushing his hair.

You frown, looking in disbelief at the boy, a little upset from the news. Touching your phone was okay, but taking a call and not saying anything, it just fell wrong.

“So why were you trying so hard to force me to talk?” The questions came a little more aggressive than intended, but who could you blame when your private life was exposed so easily. Truth being that you felt not as angry as embarrassed, never sharing such information before leaving them in the dark.

“I know you would be angry when I tell you about the phone - which I was right about.” He pouts looking somewhere in shame, like a child that was caught with sneaking sweets.

“But it doesn’t matter, what are you going to do without help? It’s not like our boss will gave you a rise from nothing, and do not even think about starting another job - we have studies, it would be plain stupid unless you ask your family for help, you never mentioned them but they would understand right?.”

“They sure would.” You sneer, standing up from the comfort of his lap. Your smile turned down on the mention of those people, it's not like you want to have something going on with them, it would be asking satan for help and that always comes with a price. “Thanks for everything Jimin, but I will be alright.” You add walking back to the hatstand where your hoodie hangs, grabbing it with your free hand, second one carrying the bag. Jimin's eyes follow you, surprised by the sudden movement and innocently big, like he waited for some better explanations - which he won’t get.

“B-but wait! Where are you going, don’t leave me like that!” You heard the shouts, desperate movements in the previous room meaning the boy tried to catch up, however you were long ago outside the cute coffee shop, starting the journey to your quiet apartment. Maybe it was mean, and maybe Jimin was too good to be treated like this, but your own mood was now too fragile to stay in the same room as the insistent boy.

Autumn wind welcoming you once again, cold weather sneaking inside your clothes, the light hoodie not doing any justice with such temperature - still it was the only thing you owned with better quality. Head full of thoughts a little overcrowded with a starting headache, not letting you walk in a peace you somehow needed just now.

Walk to your house - at least the recent one, was not one of the long one, rather passing as a nice stroll. And even though your shifts ended in night hours, the quiet and calm way never made you feel scared of any sudden dangers awaiting you on Seoul's streets. It was a nice neighborhood, one where families that were a little lower than middle class tried to make a living, keeping their kids in a safe environment. Happy smiles and laughs welcoming you sometimes in the morning, kids rushing to their own school, greeting you even after those months you stayed there, only making you nostalgic at the thought of leaving such a safe haven.

So it was more than surprising when a quick footstep rang in your ears, soon nearing you even faster. Your beating heart now rapidly knocks in your chest, as your eyes try to search for the reason for those sounds.

You didn’t need to search for loong, soon hearing the screech of a voice not so far from you. “Y/n! Wait for me!” It was even worse when the little man started to dramatically draw his hands to touch, however your concern only lay in the thought of waking up the whole neighborhood. Eyes slitted, an annoyed expression crossing your face at the sight of the panting boy, soon stopping before you, not without tripping and nearly taking you with him. “You… really want to kill me.”

Heavy breath hitting your face, his voice strained and tired from the miles he needed to run to catch up to you. You however were more than a little shocked - yes Jimin is stubborn, and yes he is the person to run after someone just because the said person lost a penny, but his appearance here was different. It was crossing the invisible line you both draw, accepting each other's bubble of comfort.

So the question still stayed, your face hard with a thundering gaze waiting for the boy to calm a bit.

“Why did you suddenly leave?” Seriousness leaked out from his tone, however the way his eyes scrunched only meant that he indeed felt a little hurt from your previous action. And you don’t even wonder why, knowing how your choices could wound the innocent boy. “Is it about your family? If its a soft topic we can never talk about it ag-”

“You want me to walk away again?” His eyes got bigger at your cold tone, his foot taking a step back. Your family, the topic you did not want to bring up today, explaining the harsh demeanor you suddenly took. Eyes however softened as fast as they met the boy’s hurted ones, a gulp of remorse sliding down your throat. “Look - I appreciate your help but I don’t need a person to be helpless with.” You took a step forward placing your hands on the boy's arm, squeezing it in reassurement. Looking him straight into eyes a sight left your mouth soon forming in a little awkward smile - the only one you could force yourself into. “You helped me enough, there is nothing else you can do, It’s not your battle to fight you have your own problems and asking you to take mine would be cruel.”

And how awful it was to turn back leaving him again, you did just that, giving him the last pat with a smile. His own mouth opening and closing, agape from the schock you probably left him. And you were sure that this time he will let it go, your words full of coldness not leaving room for arguments.

“But what if I do?” His voice stopped you in the middle of the step, freezing your form with a new squeeze in stomach. You did want to hope for nothing, feeling how your eyes got bigger in surprise, being so close to turning back to face the blonde boy. “What if I can do something?”

“Jimin we are over it - I won’t take any of your mo-”

“I didn’t mean that. I’m not that stupid to not understand first hundret times you made it clear.”” You turn at his clear voice, full of seriousness and unsaid promises. New thoughts fell over your messy mind, Jimin’s voice still ringing in your ears as well as the hot gaze he kept on you, fixated on your weirdly sluggish posture. You were more than confused, his help however not new for you, the sudden change of demeanor was like a bucket of cold water maybe pushing you into admitting that the boy indeed had some kind of solution. “Please try to listen to me first and please try to be open minded.” He adds taking a big breath making him close his eyes for a second, only to stare at you even more firmly, nearly hiding his shaky hands. A silent nod from you lighted once again the enduring fire of his eyes.

Now you were even more curious.

“What if I get you a client?” Innocent question, firstly confusing you even more with the weird words, the realization came with your mouth opening a look of disbelief crossing your eyes for a second even if you tried to remind yourself that you situation it's not the one to be judgy.

“You do-”

“Let me finish, please?” And you could not find the power in yourself to not give in. Looking straight into his gaze you closed your mouth, still hanging from the previous schock you experienced. “I was in the same place as you some years ago, a broke student without any help or hope - and I know what you want to say, but it's not as bad as it seems. You don’t even know how much I wish that at that time I had better option, but there was none and probably won’t be if I still want to chase my dreams The job is really not that bad, people don’t know, they do not need to know - even if they wanted the community of them would not allow it cause they want only that - discretion.”

You winced, the cold brushing your cheeks even more from the chill night, moon being your only source of light shining at boy’s figure like in some kind of movie. And to be completely honest, you indeed feel like in some kind of drama, emotions oozing from both of you in waves crashing in the middle with a tension to it. You didn’t want to seem rude, your face trying to stay some kind of neutral, however you knew that Jimin saw the first pull you unconsciously did, decided to let it slip instead looking at you with even more solemnity.

Yeah you knew about his past, history he one time told you in the middle of breakdown, then seemingly crazy and full of hardship, now you started to see yourself in the boy, his place now taken by you in the most awful way.

“It’s really not that bad Y/n” He whispers, voice full of softness you were thankful about. You felt breakable, the thought of actually doing it scaring you with how probable it really is. “I’m so sorry I can't do more, but it’s the only way I can help.”

You didn’t even realize when he came so close, touching your arm with his little bigger hands clenching it. Your eyes squeezed as your hands fell to your sides lifelessly, emotions now once again leaving you a little too suddenly, the grip you always had on your life slipping from your grasp with a gasp. It was hard, facing something you worked so long for only to ruin it because of such a thing as money. It was so funny, your own younger self laughing at you probably, telling you how your choices led you to that state.

“It’s really the end huh?” You didn’t need to look to know about the sad gaze he momentarily gave you. Arm sneaking around your shoulders, your posture seemingly smaller than normally, bringing you to the warm body of the blonde boy. Not a word said, only the silence being louder than aggressive shouting.

There was no need for a better explanation, your mind was already processing the idea of selling yourself to someone, and how shocking it could be that it never crossed your mind before. You can’t say the job disgusted you, you can't say it did not leave you with a sour taste on your tongue, like something is wrong with the image of you in such an environment again.

Again.

Well that was something that did not sit right with you, running away your whole life from it, now going back to the cave of a tiger - conscious suicade.

Face plastered on the surface of the brown coat, fluffy fabric brushing your face with every breath he took. The gesture leaves you with a heavy heart, not understanding why Jimin wanted to help you so much. Was it an obligation? Did he feel like he owed you something?

You just couldn't grasp the idea why, why was he so insistent, it’s only you in the end, a friend from the same coffee shop he worked in, someone who is not important in his life, someone who he will leave when the time comes. So why?

And maybe with the next gust of wind, a quiet whisper in your ear you realized deep down, that he was the first person in your life which genuinely cared for you. However the musky scent and heavy thoughts still repeated the same question, but you knew somewhere in your mind that it’s only a matter of time when the quiet suggestion will be proven.

“It’s getting late. You should go home.” A silent nod, your head still leaning on his shoulders, too tired to move. His hands petting your hair, a quiet hum leaving his mouth while he did it, melody not familiar, dancing in the silence of the night. You sighted taking one step back, immediately feeling a cold breeze hitting you, the source of heat now gone, making you shiver in the lighter clothes. Little smile screeching on your lips after you saw his worried gaze, sitting on your figure not planning to move.

“You too.” Sticking your hands into the big pocket of your hoodie, you turned your head in the way he came nodding. None of you moved, gaze met in the middle as you tried to not show how cold you really wera, body shaking in unnatural ways wanting to move for some kind of warm up.

He did not smile, even after your own stretched into a larger one, you decided not to pry and just turn around with a silent wave, head ahead of you eyes looking in the dark depths of the street where you lived. He knew you were not alright, gaze piercing you through every layer you tried to put in a situation like this, a copy mechanism you were not that proud of. And so with the head lowered you took the first step away not minding the still lingering stare on your shoulders.

The main worry now being the cold weather and little clothes that shielded you from it, the idea of the whole conversation put somewhere on the side.

However, he and you were pretty well aware of what is going to happen the next day.

In the end it's you who soon is not even going to possess own body.

----

Sleepless nights were not new, the feeling of tiredness you could not just wipe with the piece of the fabric a familiar one, the eyes trying to stay focused on things even though they were so hard to close themself for some sweet time, just to be forcefully open. Two words were enough for you to not hide the utter ache, you so perfectly masked in the middle of the coldest night.

And so maybe it was the cold keeping you awake in the dark, the blanket not enough to warm up your lifeless limbs, or maybe the lingering touches of the blonde boy that stayed even after so many afters after the whole conversation.

You felt weak, blinking in the grey room watching the wall like it would show something incredible, the scratches on it similar to the one you did when the stress was too much, decorating pieces of your skin like an art. The night was a big blur, hours now looking at the nonexisting stuff passed with a blink of an eye only to put you in another of the memories.

Blonde hair somewhere there scrolled in the side of your mind. Oh yeah, the said boy came the next day, look on his face too hard to forget as the next wall you built was just ruined.

He looked at you from behind his eyelashes with eyes dimmed with a sort of fog. Silence being the only comfort in the moment - early morning helping with it. He knew that this time the situation did not have many options, not any without any loss.

However he came, with a mind to let you help with thinking of any other ideas to help you, the conversation from the other night forgotten after he stepped in the gloomy apartament. And it doesn’t surprise you, the look you probably carried spoke for himself.

In his hands soon layed inconspicuously looking scrap of paper, tempting with his appearance like the most loucioust sin. He read it with squinted eyes, not needing a lot of time to find out what exactly the letter applied to.

What surprised him after such information is, how really the girl hid behind such an innocent facade, the new wave of respect crashed on him with the thought how strong you really are to not ask for help. The human thing was to linger, searching for attention so long to have someone finally do everything for us.

He had money, he had it so much that he could easily help her for next month, but he knew how every proposition like that would end up.

In the end they were really similar.

“Maybe there is another way.” He cut the silence, after a while regretting the action. Eyes met somewhere in the middle and both of their gaze was meaningful enough to answer his void of hope. “Have you tried to talk with the flat owner?”

Grimace on your face once again was enough, you shook your head remembering not the best meeting with the older man. “Many times. The guy is purely business oriented, he doesn’t care about your private life but if you pay everything - which as you can see I have a problem with.”

“I know that it’s a hard topic, but what about your family. There needs to be at least one person.” You looked down, carpet under your feets still fluffy and soft under your feet, the silence embracing you both. Jimin awkwardly scratched his arm, biting his lips in the process, the topic one again making your mood even worse. “Im sorr-”

“There is no need, it doesn’t matter anyway. My family is off limits when it comes to those types of things.” You cut him off, looking from the side at the little embarrassed boy. A sigh leaves your mouth as you lean on to your old couch, ruffling your hair after. “Jimin there is really no other way. Your option is the only thing I can do, even if the idea scares me.”

He looked at you with a small smile, the memories from his past coming back to him, when it was him who was sitting at your place, maybe with a different situation, but the fear in the eyes remained the same. He sat next to you, hand catching yours latching fingers with yours, as if that small gesture was supposed to pass everything.

And maybe it was like that, however how sweet and calming the motion wouldn’t be, nothing has been solved, and your decision it's going to change your life completely.

“You start to accept it with time.” He whispers tightening the grip on your head, the sentence seemingly had a bit more to the story. You guessed he tried not only to convince you both himself too.

Idea still fresh in your mind, hard to process it actually is going to happen, eyes meeting once again with the dark ones of the boy, millions of heistations flowing in the circle of your pupils.

“What If I don’t want to accept it? Jimin, I'm going to sell myself like some kind of animal.” You started, soon seeing how every word pierced the boy, a hurt crossing his face for a while. However he himself knew how his job was not something to brag about, something that should be kept to yourself.

“First - you are not going to be a prostitute, it’s their job. Second - you are not selling yourself, your body maybe, your time - yes. This whole messed up business, which no one truly understands, it's not only based on pleasure and successful bargain. The people you are going to provide services will require more, however you too will be able to demand - and that’s the difference.” He instinctively stood up, turning his back to you to hide his face for you.

You decided not to question that, the topic probably being equally hard for him. Following his figure, you listened to every word which could calm your buzzing nerves.

“Mone-” You started trying to guess about the demand he was talking about. The cash suggests itself in your mind. The boy quickly turned back, dark eyes catching your breath in the middle.

“Respect.” He finished, taking an earlier abandoned cup of tea to his hand. You were confused, your gaze spoke for himself, the utter questions building with every quiet minute he left you with. “Do you know why so few people are able to survive in such a business, or why so few people know about it?” He asked knowing fully he won't get any answer from you. He sighted brushing his blonde hair back, a little oliy from the last day of work, he came to the other side of the room sitting on one of the smaller tables just before you.

“You will need to play a role, you will become an actress in real life without the power to question your own character. People that are directors in fact are going to be your clients, giving you the script you will need to act on. In the beginning it’s going to be hard, but with time you will understand that you can either love it or you are someone who is not suitable for such a job.”

So many questions, which only bundled up with the said words. A weird twinge in your heart, forcing you to stop thinking about it like a sweet temptation, however the beautiful words he wrapped everything with stronger. The idea seems so easy, so free and so good, too good to be true.

You looked at him, the tiredness hitting you suddenly but so many not arranged issues kept you on your toes, so with the remaining power you sighed rubbing your eyes. You decided, your last way out.

“How i'm even going to start?” The question filled him with a relife, not understanding exactly why, the thought of having someone close in the same job loaded him with unanswered happiness. He gazed back, the look making you sit more comfortable forcing your attention directly at him.

“The clients are mostly the people you least expect to. Although they are not people which can afford a whore - lame millionaires or self-proclaimed gangsters. Don’t get me wrong but if they were them they could have just bought the random first person that is willing to do everything they want, for them however the most important is discretion and loyalty.” He started, stopping for a while to take out his phone and quickly search something on it.

With one move he showed you a picture of a man, you strangely knew. Black hair, similar to the blackness of the sky so different from the boy sitting just before you and a beautiful porcelain looking skin. He looked proud, even as a imagine the frozen photo oozing of confidence and power.

You knew those people pretty well, a little too well. Too proud for their own good and too proud to admit their wrongs, making money in such a way to not get attention if they are dirty or not. Familiar contempt towards others. You tried so hard to run away just from people like that, you hoped the clients Jimin was talking about are just the little CEO’s, not that important or dangerous.

And how ironic it was that you yourself are going to willingly put yourself in such a toxic environment again, people that are more influential than politicians and authorities. Next question popping on the side, how the blonde boy survived there without any knowledge.

“I see you can guess about who i’m talking about, and It’s not your first contact with them, right?” He started, brushing his hair once again, a habit you noticed. He needed to admit that your expression put him in uneasiness, look on your face nearly scared like a child that watched horror for the first time. He didn’t want to annoy the topic, leaving it in the air with the restless tension, instead he closed his phone hiding it back into his pocket.

His eyes still on you, your mind somewhere else as the quietness of the room started to spin around. The unanswered question lingered on your tongue, kept in the end of your mouth like some kind of secret. And as you thought it’s the end, the little ping came from the pocket he put his phone into.

“Well, I don’t know If you are interested but there is someone who is willing meet.”

[likearmor]

do i wanna know? - draco malfoy

summary: typical enemies to lovers with draco malfoy and gryffindor! reader.

words: 2.8k

warning(s): SMUT, cursing,

(draco and reader aged up to 18)

if there's one thing that you knew for sure, it was that you absolutely despised draco malfoy.

and it wasn’t the normal slytherin and gryffindor rivalry, no, it was worse than that. even your friends said that you hated draco even more than harry potter did, and that was saying something. 

“he’s just an egotistical prick. he doesn’t care about anyone from himself, I swear, if he wasn’t all up snape’s ass I would punch him into oblivion,” you said to your group of friends, walking up the moving stairs back to the gryffindor common room for your free period before lunch. 

on your way there, hermione met up with you, ron, and harry and overheard your conversation. “what did he do this time?” she asked, sighing to herself that the conversation had turned to draco yet again. 

“breathed in her direction,” ron joked, earning a hit to the shoulder from you. “hey! sorry, sorry.” harry laughed from beside you, making you hit him in the shoulder too. 

“you guys are so mean, no, he did not just breath in my direction. he messed up my whole potion, put something in it while I had my back turned. snape made me restart it,” you explained. your three friends nodded, not deciding to argue with you because there was no point in trying to change your mind. its not like they liked him either, though sometimes they thought he didn’t deserve all of your wrath. 

~

you were sitting down on one of the fuzzy comfy chairs in the common room going over some of your history of magic notes with hermione when the two boys came down from the boys’ dorms. ron dropped a chocolate frog on your lap. “thanks,” you muttered, popping it into your mouth and humming at the good taste. you and ron lived for the sweets at honeydukes and you always shared stuff with each other. 

“you guys want to go to some slytherin party?” harry asked, sitting down on the floor underneath you.

hermione winced. “why would we go to a slytherin party?” it’s not like your group was one for going to parties in the first place. “plus, wouldn’t they get busted by snape or someone in the slytherin common room? how would we even get in there?” 

“calm down,” harry said to hermione. “you worry too much sometimes ‘moine. it’s in the room of requirement so only the people who know about it can go. teachers wont find it at all even if they wanted to, top secret.” 

you shut your textbook and set it down on the floor. “sure, why not?” you said, looking at the clock. “what time is it at?” 

your friends looked at you with concern. ron even stopped eating his every flavored beans to give you a concerned look. hermione’s eyes were open wide and harry turned around to look at you. “what?” you asked. 

“you really just volunteered to go to a slytherin party?” ron said. 

“so what?” 

“you, y/n, someone who hates slytherins more than anyone else I've ever known, wants to go to a slytherin party?” ron asked again. “no, doesn’t make sense. you have to be a clone or something.” 

you rolled your eyes. “shut up, I only hate one slytherin. and there will be loads of people there, I probably wont even see him there. c’mon, lets go have fun. it might be more fun than you guys think.”

everyone agreed, even hermione who you thought was just going to stay in and get some of her homework done. soon enough, you were up in the girls’ dorms to get ready for the party. you put on a white sweater and some black jeans, hair coming up in a half down half up style. you looked hot. 

you made sure that hermione also looked hot, you even convinced her to wear a shorter black top. now all you had to do was meet the boys and make your way down to the room of requirement. it was friday and you wanted to party. maybe it would be fun and maybe it would help you let loose after this stressful couple of weeks. 

you walked down with your group to the enterance of the room of requirement, seeing the door appear the second that you got there. making sure that the coast was clear, you all scurried into the busy room. there was shouting and conversations over some loud music in the big room. you could see loads of different people from every type of house. 

“im gonna go look for a drink,” ron said, pushing past you and getting lost in the sea of people. you walked with hermione to the farthest edge of the party. from there you guys leaned against one of the stone walls. in your line of vision, you could see people like seamus finnegan and dean thomas dancing with lavender brown, pulling in harry to dance along with them. 

hermione struck up a conversation with some hufflepuff boy beside you. “hey, im gonna go get something to drink too,” you said to her. you pushed off the wall and made your way towards the drink stand. 

from behind you, you heard someone say, “I didn’t think that I'd see you here.”

draco malfoy. just the person you didn't want to see. 

“what do you want, malfoy,” you said, not even turning around to look at him. you kept making your way for the drinks, hoping that you would loose him in the crowd or he would get too bored to mess with you. “don’t you have some hole to crawl back into?”

he laughed. “no, just wanted to see what the hell you’re doing here, y/n. this is my party, I thought I knew all the guests coming and I just saw you come in with potter and his lot.” you reached the table with the drinks and poured some firewhiskey into a disposable cup. 

draco finally reached you and stood across the table. he was wearing a typical black dress shirt and pants, his slytherin tie loosely fitted around his neck. in the back of your mind you thought about how good he looked, but the second that you thought it you wanted to punch yourself in the face for ever thinking something like that. especially about draco malfoy. 

“you don’t know everything about me,” you said to him, a tone of aggression lacing your words. “you know, im not that predictable.” 

“I beg to differ. you hang out with potter and his lot, you’re a high and mighty gryffindor, and you hate slytherins.” 

you laughed, downright laughed at his accusations, downing your drink and pouring yourself another. you could feel the alcohol burn in your throat and settle in your stomach. it wouldn’t take long before you started to feel the affects of it as well. “I don’t hate slytherins, I just hate you, malfoy,” you yelled over the shouting of peoples conversations. “see? you’re wrong.” 

“well then, what do you think of me?” draco asked. 

you walked up to him, setting down your drink and getting all up close and personal. you could feel his breath fanning onto your face as you leaned closer to meet his line of vision. “I think that . . .” you started, jabbing your finger into his chest, “that you’re an egotistical, obnoxious, slytherin prick. who pokes fun at people to get a rouse out of them just for your entertainment.” 

draco’s grey eyes stared into yours with an intensity you have never seen before. it made your knees feel weak as you stood up to him. “wow,” he said. “you really know how to party with all this psychology don’t you?” 

“oh, I know how to party,” you argued. 

draco cocked an eyebrow up. “really? show me then, come dance.” 

“why would I ever dance with you?” you asked. 

draco didn’t respond, only taking a shot of his drink and stretching a hand open for you to take it. a few moments passed by as you weighed your options. you could laugh in his face and leave, spill your drink on him and then leave . . . or you could take his offer. you weren’t sure if it was the alcohol about to take affect or if you were just feeling risky (probably both in the scheme of things), but you downed the rest of your tall drink and took his hand. 

he led you to the dance floor where most of the drunken kids were swaying to the beat of the loud music. the second you got a rhythm set up, you turned your back to him and swished your hips around. you couldn’t see his face, but he seemed to enjoy it because of his hands that rested on either side of you two seconds later. 

it felt good to finally let loose for a while, and if felt even better not trying to keep yourself together. it was easier tolerating draco than actually hating him. not to mention, as you wrapped your arms around his neck, he was looking even more hotter than he was a couple minutes ago. 

“what are you staring at?” he asked you, pulling you closer. 

you hummed. “nothing.”

draco opened his mouth to say something, but you cut him off by saying, “christ, you talk to much.” 

you pulled his face towards you and kissed him, long and hard. he tasted like firewhiskey and a hint of peppermint and his cologne tempted you in for more. the second you pulled away to take some air, he was pushing in for more. you happily obliged, turning the kiss into an open mouth one. it wasn’t just a normal kiss either, you wanted draco. hell, you felt like you needed draco. and it felt even more extreme because to everyone else, you hated him. but that wasn’t what you really felt for him. you didn’t know what your feelings were for draco. 

it took a little bit of convincing on his friends’ part to allow for draco to leave, but after finally getting him to pull away from the party, both of you spared no time to get out of the room of requirement. you guys practically ran to the dungeons to the slytherin common room, your hands reaching up to undo his tie and buttons while he put in the password. 

no one was in there because virtually every slytherin was at the party, so no one heard your giggles as he picked you up and led to you his dorm. you giggled all the way there, feeling your back hit his bed. 

“who would’ve known I would have y/n l/n in my bed,” draco muttered, helping you take off his shirt and throwing it to the opposite side of the room. 

you laughed, pulling up your shirt over your head and making it join his on the floor. “don’t take this the wrong way malfoy, but I still hate you.”

“we’ll see about that.” 

once both of you were properly in your undergarments, draco laid on top of you, his lips reattaching to yours in a searing kiss. his hands rubbed your sides up and down, gripping your skin. you could feel his cold rings on your skin and it made you crave him, feeling the heat between your thighs get even more intense. 

your hands reached down to push his boxers down, but draco’s met yours and swatted them away, putting them back on his back. at first you were going to pull him away to ask why, though you didn’t have the chance when one of his hands delved into the front of your panties. 

the second that his fingers hit your clit you were moaning into his mouth, pressing your hips up to meet his hand. you could hear him snicker a little bit, just a second ago you were saying you hated him and here he was making you keel into his touch. a second later he was kissing along your jawline, making his way down to your neck and sucking. “I can’t have hickeys, malfoy,” you said through shortened breaths. 

“too bad, princess,” draco said against your neck, pushing a finger into you and making a ‘come here’ motion with it. your back arched and you breathed in a sharp breath, screwing your eyes shut as he pushed in and out, eventually adding a second finger too. his wet kisses trailed all around your neck, stopping in a few places to give you some marks. 

the way that he was making you feel . . . it was surreal. it was making you feel like you were alive. even if it was just going to be for this moment, all you wanted to think about was draco malfoy. 

“fuck, draco,” you moaned, feeling his fingers hit just the right spot to make your toes clench. his thumb came up and pressed against your clit, which almost sent you over the edge. it was almost embarrassing at how easily he could make you come undone, but you were enjoying it too much to care. 

as soon as you were about to cum, his fingers pulled out of you, and he looked up at you to give you a devilish smirk. “not yet,” he said, giving you a kiss on the cheek and pulling his boxers down onto the floor. you took the time to look him over, seeing how hot he looked in the moment. his blonde hair was disheveled and his cheeks were a little red from the lack of air, and the second you looked down your eyes widened. he was big. probably the biggest you had ever had. 

“are you sure about this?” draco asked, stopping for a moment at what you two were about to do. you bit your lip, taking a few moments to take it all in. “because if you don’t, you don’t have to. . .”

you nodded, stopping what he was saying. “yes, I do.” you wrapped your arms around his neck and wrapped your legs around his waist. the second that he pushed into you, your eyes widened and an elongated moan came out from between your lips. draco also made a noise, which sounded so hot that you were sure would be etched into your brain for the days to come. 

he went at a steady pace, thrusting into you rhythmically with an intensity you had never felt before. of course he was good at this. “right there,” you said, back arching as his hands stayed pressed against your hips to keep you in place. 

you were already really close from his fingers, so it didn’t take you too long to get back into things. 

“you’re taking me so well,” draco said, going at a little bit of a faster pace. he rutted his hips against you that you knew that there would be marks there in the morning. he came down and kissed you again, his tongue pressing into yours and exploring your mouth. 

you gasped. “im not going to last much longer.” 

“then cum,” draco said, motioning his hips around in a circular motion. his hand also came down to play with your clit, which sent you right over the edge. your head came back as you moaned, riding out the rest of your orgasm. not even two thrusts later he was also coming undone, pulling out and doing it on your stomach. 

both of you stayed there with each other gasping for breath, your skin sticking to his from the sweat. draco finally got up and went to the bathroom that was connected to the room, coming back with a washcloth in his hand and pulling his boxers back up. he cleaned your stomach, throwing the cloth into a hamper with his clothes in it and laying down next to you again. 

you couldn’t believe that you had just fucked your sworn enemy. 

and you couldn’t believe that it was the best sex you had ever had in your entire life. 

fuck. 

“I should go,” you said to him, standing up and searching for your clothes on the floor. you put them on quickly, watching him sit up on his elbows and look at you. “if anyone sees me in here they’ll have a cow.” 

“is that the only reason? or because you hate me?” he put air quotes around ‘hate me’.

“fuck off malfoy,” you said, brushing out your hair with your fingers and going towards the door. 

you heard draco laugh. “I'll see you again, yeah?” 

you stopped in your tracks at his words, still facing the door. you could feel your knees quiver at the opportunity of doing this again with him. it was tempting, thats for sure. but you had to get your priorities straight before then. or find someone else, because it was draco malfoy. not just some random guy. 

“if you’re lucky, draco,” you said, opening the door and shutting it, leaving him in his dorm and going to make some excuse to your friends as to where you had been. 

[darkimaginarydesires]

Obsession (Part II) ▪︎ Dark!James Potter x Reader

《 harry potter fandom • dark!james potter x reader • marauders era 》

☆ you are responsible for your media consumption. this content has extreme warnings / triggers. this content may make some people uncomfortable. please be safe and take warnings seriously. if you need help or need to talk to someone, i am available for anyone ☆

♡ warnings: noncon/dubcon, sexual obsession, delusional obsession, physical abuse, mentions of death, definitely 18+ ♡

《 summary: when the reader does not reciprocate love for James Potter, he snaps into a complete delusional obsession with her. 》

○ part one: ○

-

James had fallen asleep holding you. You don't know how you managed to get away from him without him waking up, but you did. You ran harder than you'd ever ran before. Partly from fear, but partly because it felt good to feel your heart pound against your chest. It reminded you that you were still alive. You were almost back into the castle when you collapsed onto the stone ground, unable to move your legs any further. Your whole body felt like jello, similarly to your mind, which was in some distant land refusing to return to accept the events that had occurred. You were sobbing and shaking uncontrollably. You were so far gone, you didn't even feel Severus' arms when they wrapped themselves around you and picked you up. You buried your face into his chest as he carried you to the hospital wing.

-

James awoke in a panic, feeling you not in his arms. He looked around, realizing you were long gone. He should have gone to look for you, but he couldn't help but stop to smile at the thought of you. He could still taste you on his tongue, smell your perfume on his clothes, feel the shape of your lips against his, hear your soft moans. He got hard just thinking about the expression you had when he made you come.

"She loves me," he reminded himself.

He stood up, grabbing your bookbag from under the tree before confidently strolling back down to the castle. He made his way to his dormitory, setting your bag down and sitting on his bed. His mind continued to be overwhelmed with the thought of you. He reached into your bookbag, curiosity overcoming him. He pulled out random study books, stopping when he reached the potions one. He flipped it open, a note falling out of the front page. He opened it, seeing it was a note from Snape.

"I know you are upset you got a bad mark on the last quiz. The professor only gave you a bad mark because you're better than them. Seriously, (y/n), you are amazing at potions making. One day, you'll be working as the Potions Master and I'll be teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts and we'll be able to give bad marks to all the kids we don't like. Keep your head up. - Severus"

James slammed the book shut and hastily put it back in your book bag. He was furious that someone would talk to his girl like this. He was furious that you would keep a note like this from someone like Snape. He crumpled the note, tossing it into your bag as Sirius, Remus, and Peter came running into the room.

"Where have you been?" Remus asked, clearly stressed.

"Where have you been?" James retorted, his anger from the note translating into his question.

"(Y/N) is in the hospital wing. Madam Pomfrey won't tell us anything. We've been trying to look for you!" Sirius said.

"Come on!" Remus called out, already making his way out of the room.

James quickly followed them, his mind racing with worry for his girl. What could have possibly happened since he saw her last? He thought to himself as they all quickly made their way to the hospital wing. When they arrived, James saw Snape sitting outside of the room. Anger immediately filled him. He knew he would have killed him if it was his fault (y/n) was hurt. He went to confront him, but Sirius grabbed his shoulders roughly.

"Come on."

They all walked into the room. James saw you curled up in the corner of the room and his heart broke for you. He wanted to wrap you up in his arms and never let go.

"(Y/N)? What happened?" Sirius asked.

"No visitors!" Dumbledore yelled.

James looked at you, waiting for you to look back at him, waiting for you to tell the headmaster you wanted him to stay, but you never did. They left the room, the door slamming shut behind them. James thought of you, how you had gone from happy in his arms to the broken girl in the hospital wing. He looked over at Severus, anger immediately engulfing him.

"Snivellus," he called out antagonistically.

He began making his way over to him, but Remus grabbed his arm and held him back.

"Not now, James. Severus is the one who brought her here. He helped her," Remus explained.

"What happened, Snape?" Sirius asked.

"I don't know," Severus responded, his voice showing his irritation.

He clearly did not want to deal with the four idiots. He was more focused on his friend's safety.

"When I found her, she was..." he broke off, having a hard time thinking of the state he had seen his strong friend in. "Someone assaulted her."

James tried to push past his friends to get to Severus, but they held him back.

"Stop!" Sirius yelled. "This is not what she needs right now!"

James ran a hand through his hair, trying to control his anger. Dumbledore opened the door and looked between all of the boys.

"Mr. Snape, you are being requested."

It took everything for James to suppress his anger as Snape stood and entered the hospital wing. The door shut and James mind raced with ideas that only fueled his rage. He remembered how your body felt as you came, he remembered how it felt to slip his cock into you, and then he imagined Snape doing the same things to you. He imagined you moaning his name, kissing his lips. James imagined rushing through the doors and smashing his face then grabbing your face and kissing you. James walked up to the hospital wing door, trying to swing it open, but it wouldn't budge.

"Dumbledore put a charm on it, James. It won't open," Remus explained. "Come on. We'll come back tomorrow."

-

You laid curled up on the bed in the corner of the dark hospital wing, unable to sleep. Severus had left at curfew and you could feel the loneliness echoing off of the room, you wished he could have held you forever. At least in his arms, you felt safe, you felt like someone was looking out for you. You were lost in your thoughts, enslaved by the memories of the night.

The door to the hospital wing slowly creeped open, a sliver of light from the corridor shining through. Adrenaline poured into your system, intensifying every feeling in your body. You reminded yourself of the enchantment Dumbledore had placed over the room. You reminded yourself you were safe.

"Sev?" You called out. "Is that you?"

The door opening widened, but there was no one there. You sat up in the bed, looking intently at the door as if to see if it was truly open or if your mind was deceiving you. You went to stand to close it, but you were stopped in your tracks. You heard footsteps slowly making their way closer towards you. You pushed yourself back on the bed, your back firmly against the headboard. At the foot of your bed, the invisibility cloak slowly lifted, revealing James. You were locked in place, unable to move or scream even though you wanted to.

"Baby, what's wrong?" James asked, his voice sending shivers down your spine.

He moved to sit beside you on the bed. He wasn't touching you, but your skin crawled with the memory of his last touch.

"Get out," you said firmly, somehow finding the strength.

"Get out?" James laughed. "Come on, baby. You know you want me here. Otherwise, how would I have gotten in?"

You never knew confusion was such an intense emotion until that moment. You tried to deny it, but remembered the charm. Did you want him here? Did you want him? Your thoughts were broken by James' hand grabbing your thigh, his thumb gently caressing your skin. You reached for his hand to push it away, but he caught it, bringing it up to his lips. You pulled away aggressively, but James didn't seem to notice.

"Stop, James."

His eyes were focused on your lips as he moved closer to you. He grabbed your ankle, pulling you down onto the bed as he hovered over you. His hand went to your face, cupping it softly. You pushed against his chest, trying to push him off. You could feel his hard on pressing against your stomach.

"James, get off of me! Please, stop!" You screamed.

"Don't do that, baby," he soothed. "I love you. And you love me, you know that."

His hand moved down to your neck as he pressed his lips against yours.

You jolted up in a panic, looking around the empty room frantically. You were out of breath, your throat dry and sore. You pressed the palms of your hands against your forehead, imprudently trying to force the nefarious memories and thoughts from your mind. You spent the rest of the night with your eyes searching the dark, empty room for any sign of movement, paranoid your nightmare would become a reality and you would be forced to relive your worst experience all over again. Somehow, the castle now seemed to be home to many more ghosts.

-

You spent the next week in the hospital wing. Severus brought you all of the classwork you were missing so you were not falling behind. He spent as much time as he could with you, making you feel far less lonely. Professor Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall were incredibly patient and understanding of the incident. They came to check on you at least once a day and never pressured you to leave the hospital wing. You knew it was time to return to your usual daily routine, but the idea of being forced to interact with James felt like a nightmare. You laid on the hospital bed, your books and parchment sprawled out as you worked.

“What happened to you?” Madam Pomfrey exclaimed, breaking your concentration and causing you to look up from your papers.

Severus walked through the doors with a vibrantly purple and black eye. His hair fell over it, but it was impossible to hide.

“It’s nothing,” he said. “I’m just here to visit (Y/N).” 

Madam Pomfrey allowed him to walk past her, but continued to shake her head as she walked over to her healing potions on the side of the room, scanning through them for the appropriate one.

“What happened to you, Severus?” You asked, sitting up on the bed and immediately reaching your hand out to push his hair behind his ear. “That looks awful!”

“It’s nothing, (Y/N). Would you stop?”

He pushed your hand away as he sat on the bed next to you. 

“Was it them? Tell me, Severus.”

“Why don’t we just focus on you? You’re the one in the hospital wing after all.”

“So are you now, Mr. Snape,” Madam Pomfrey stated. “Sit still and look up.”

Madam Pomfrey applied a thick cream to Severus’ eye. The colors dissipated and the swelling went down until eventually the ailment almost completely disappeared. By the time Madam Pomfrey finished treating Severus, it was time for him to leave for his next class. He grabbed his books and began walking out of the hospital wing.

“Wait-” You called out, surprising even yourself. 

You collected you classwork before standing and making your way over to Severus.

“Are you leaving?” Madam Pomfrey asked, clearly contemplating whether to allow you to go.

“Yes, Madam. Thank you for everything,” You said before turning to a shocked Severus. “They know better than to mess with us when we’re together. Let’s go.”

[lucys-key]

Unexpected Encounters (Eren Yeager x Reader)

Part 2: We Meet Again

Rating: Mature (18+ only)

Warnings: Some light alcohol use in this chapter, language, and ~passionate~ making out

A/N: Thank you for the positive response on this story! I had to include some of my fave frat party songs in this chapter LOL. Future chapters will contain smut, so I am changing the rating to NSFW/18+ :)

...

It had been two weeks since you began classes at Shiganshina University, and you were still just starting to get your bearings.

Overall, you had to say that things were going fairly well. Move-in was easy enough, and you were proud of how cute your dorm looked. Your roommate was a petite blonde girl named Historia who you immediately became friends with. Her girlfriend, Ymir, was also often in your room, so they became the people you spent the most of your time with.

There had also been a freshman orientation during the week before classes started, but you didn’t really end up making any other solid friendships from it, with the exception of Annie. She lived down the hall from you and was the one other person besides Historia and Ymir who you spent time with. Annie was in your orientation group, and the two of you had bonded over how exhausting the orientation was and had remained friends ever since.

It was a Friday evening, and you were walking to your dorm with Annie and her roommate, Hitch. You thought that they made an extremely funny pair, as Annie was not very expressive or energetic, and Hitch was the complete opposite. Their personalities complemented each other, however, and no matter how much Annie complained about Hitch’s attitude, you could tell that she liked her.

“I can’t believe it’s Friday again!” Hitch exclaimed as the three of you walked. “We’ve made it a total of three whole weeks here!”

Annie sighed and said, “I can’t believe it’s only been three weeks. I feel like I’ve been here forever.”

You laughed and Hitch poked Annie’s shoulder. “Aww, cheer up!” she said.

As you continued to walk across campus, you passed one of the many frat houses. When Hitch saw it, she made a sound indicating that she had remembered something important.

“Oh yeah!” Hitch exclaimed. “The frats are open tonight!”

To be honest, the idea of attending a frat party kind of terrified you. For the last two weekends, the frats had not been open for their general parties because they were going through the recruitment process for new members.

You, as well as your friends, had chosen not to join Greek life. You figured that your first year of college was going to be stressful enough, and you didn’t need to add sorority obligations on top of everything else. Besides, you could always join next year or the year after.

“How exciting,” Annie said, making it clear that she was not, in fact, excited.

“Oh come on, Annie! It will be fun!” Hitch encouraged, but Annie didn’t give in.

Hitch frowned, but then her expression brightened as she said your name and asked, “Are you going out tonight?”

You honestly weren’t sure. Although the idea made you nervous, you weren’t completely against it.

“I guess I’ll have to see what Historia and Ymir are doing,” you replied, which was the truth. If they were planning on going, then you could definitely be convinced to go with them.

Hitch smiled and nodded at your response.

“Sounds good!” she said, and then began to talk about something else as the three of you continued to walk to your dorm hall.

Once you got back, you stopped at your door and waved to Annie and Hitch as they walked down the hall to theirs. You took your key out of your bag and unlocked the door.

“Hey!” Historia greeted you as you stepped into the room. You saw that she was lying clothes out on her bed while Ymir sat on the chair by her desk.

“What are you doing?” you asked after setting your bag on the floor by your own bed.

Historia continued to move her clothes around while she spoke.

“I’m trying to find an outfit to wear tonight,” she informed you. From the types of clothes Historia had laid out, you assumed that she was most likely planning on going to a party later.

“I keep telling her just to wear anything. It doesn’t even matter,” Ymir said from her place on the chair.

Historia frowned cutely at her girlfriend. “But I want to look good! It’s my first college party.”

Ymir mumbled something under her breath but then stood up to help Historia pick out an outfit.

You smiled as you watched the two of them, but then your phone buzzed from your pocket. You took it out and saw that Sasha had texted you with an update about how her day was going. She seemed to be adjusting really well at her school. You two still talked every day.

You typed out a reply to her message and began to scroll through your social media, but then Historia’s voice shifted your attention.

“Are you coming with us tonight?” she asked, looking hopeful.

You sighed, realizing that you really did want to go. Besides, if Historia and Ymir were with you, everything should be fine.

“Sure. I’ll come,” you confirmed. Historia let out a noise of celebration and Ymir smiled.

After a few seconds, you realized that there was a lot you needed to do before it was time to leave in a few hours.

It was about 7pm, and you wanted to get some last-minute work done before the weekend officially started. You also needed to shower and pick out an outfit for later.

You took a deep breath, suddenly feeling excited about what the night might have in store.

___

Three and a half hours later, you looked at your phone to check the time. It was 10:30pm and you figured it was almost time to leave. You looked at yourself in the large mirror that hung over the back of the door of your room. Since the weather was still very warm, you chose to wear a pair of shorts and one of your favorite tank tops.

After showering earlier, you did your makeup the way that made you feel beautiful, needing the extra confidence boost. The makeup still looked good and you decided that you were ready.

Historia was by her bed adding the finishing touches to her look, and Ymir was tying her shoes. When the three of you were ready, you all complimented each other on how you looked, and then left the room for the night.

When you stepped into the hallway, you saw Hitch coming out of her room, and to your surprise, Annie was beside her. You guessed she had been convinced to go after all.

Hitch waved at you guys and then walked over.

“You all look great!” she said. You saw Ymir put a subtle protective arm around Historia.

“Thanks, Hitch! You and Annie, too!” Historia replied, and then you all made your way out of your dorm building.

Your group ended up following Hitch, as she assured you all that she knew just the place to go. As you walked, you couldn’t help but feel the excitement in the atmosphere. There were people everywhere, and you could hear happy, drunken laughter and music as people spilled out of dorms and houses.

You walked for a few more minutes and eventually ended up in front of a large house. There were a lot of people hanging out outside, and you looked up to see the Greek letters above the porch.

“Come on!” Hitch said. You took a deep breath before following her up the steps.

When you got to the door, there was a muscular blonde guy standing by it talking to someone who you assumed to be one of his friends. You heard Ymir snort from behind you as she walked up to the two boys.

“Sup, Reiner?” she said, and the guy called Reiner scowled.

“They’ve got you newbies working the door?” Ymir continued to tease him. Reiner’s scowl only deepened.

“Nice to see you, too,” Reiner said, and then opened the door. “Just go in already.”

Ymir smiled in triumph, and then you all walked into the house.

“How does she know him?” you asked Historia, and she laughed.

“I know him, too. The three of us went to high school together. He and Ymir have never really gotten along,” Historia informed you. You laughed and nodded in understanding.

You walked through the large house and saw people everywhere. There was a large living room where people were sitting, drinking, and talking, but it seemed like the majority of the action was happening in the basement. You heard music and saw tons of people walking through the living room to go downstairs, so you and your friends followed them.

When you got to the bottom of the stairs, you were surprised by how big the basement was. It was like the house had been designed to host huge parties, which, you think, it probably was. The overhead lights had been dimmed significantly and colorful LEDs were the primary source of light. The main part of the basement didn’t have carpeting, and that’s where people were packed together and dancing, holding red plastic cups in their hands.

“Do you want to get something to drink?” Historia asked, but she almost had to shout because the music was so loud.

Thankfully you heard her and nodded in response instead of trying to speak over the music. Historia said something to Ymir, and then she began to walk towards the dance floor. Historia gestured for you to follow and you grabbed her hand as she led you through the mass of people.

She veered off to the right where there was a small room that had been converted into a makeshift bar.

You looked around and saw a bunch of frat guys standing behind the counter handing people drinks. You couldn’t see their faces because the people in front of you were too tall, so you and Historia waited for them to move. You felt your phone buzz and took it out of your pocket to check it, but then Historia pulled you forward as space became available in front of the counter.

You were still looking at your phone, but then your attention immediately snapped up when you heard Historia speak.

“Hey, Jean!” she exclaimed.

Jean? Did you hear that right?

Sure enough, a familiar face was standing behind the counter. You had to keep your mouth from opening in shock. Somehow you had absolutely no idea that Jean went to your school, or that he had even been planning to go there in the first place. You hadn’t seen him on campus since you got there three weeks ago.

“What’s up?!” Jean enthusiastically greeted Historia, and then he turned to look at you. He was clearly just as shocked as you were.

His initial surprise didn’t last long, however, as he grinned and said, “Oh shit! Hey!”

Historia looked between you and Jean, putting together that the two of you knew each other from somewhere. When Jean took two cups from the counter and began to fill them, Historia turned to you and asked, “You know Jean?”

You nodded and leaned in closer so she could hear you. “Yup. Went to high school with him.”

Historia giggled and then looked back at Jean as he finished filling the cups with what you assumed was a mixture of all different types of alcohol.

“Here you go!” Jean said and handed the cups to you and Historia.

Before you turned around to leave, Jean gave you a knowing look. You weren’t sure what it meant, so you decided to ignore him and walk with Historia back out to the party.

It took you guys a while to find the rest of your friends, but you eventually found Ymir and Annie standing off to the side, looking like they were chatting about something. As you approached them, Hitch suddenly appeared and ran up to Annie to grab her hand.

“Come on!” she urged, and before Annie could object, she was being dragged to the dance floor. You laughed as you watched, but then Historia took Ymir’s hand and gestured for you to follow.

“Let’s go dance!” Historia exclaimed. You followed them, trying your best not to spill your drink as you maneuvered through all of the dancing people.

Eventually, the three of you found a spot that wasn’t so crowded, and you laughed as Historia tried to get Ymir to dance to the beat of “Hotel Room Service.”

Ymir took a drink from Historia’s cup and then relented, letting herself relax as she began to dance with her girlfriend. You took a sip from your cup, too, and felt yourself loosen up. You looked to your left and saw Hitch and Annie moving toward you. You laughed at Annie’s expression, but you could tell she was having a good time.

You danced with them until the song ended, not caring about how you looked and just letting yourself have fun.

After the song was over, your ears got a brief reprieve as there was a pause before the next one started playing. You took another drink, and from where you were standing, you could see the stairs that led to the basement. You saw a group of guys walking down them, and you recognized Reiner and the boy he was talking to at the door of the house. There were two more people behind them, but Reiner and his friend were blocking your view of their faces.

When they reached the bottom of the stairs, it was clear that they were all pretty popular as a bunch of guys, who you assumed were in the frat, walked over to greet them and clap them on the back. You snorted at the obnoxious display.

You turned your gaze away from them as your phone buzzed from your pocket. You decided that you should probably check it since you remembered it had also buzzed earlier. But when you looked, it was just Sasha informing you that they had chips at the party she was at. You laughed and sent some celebratory emojis back.

“How was door duty?!” you heard Ymir yell over the music. You looked up to see that Reiner and his friend had made their way onto the dance floor and were standing near you and your friends.

“None of your business,” Reiner asserted, and then said something to his friend that you couldn’t quite make out, but sounded something like, “What’s taking him so long?”

You didn’t know what that meant, and you didn’t have much time to think about it as Historia grabbed your arm started dancing with you. Her movements were dramatic, and you laughed as you danced with her. You had both discarded your empty cups onto the floor with everyone else’s.

You heard Reiner say, “Oh, there you are,” and almost at the same time, felt your back hit something.

You immediately turned around to apologize to whoever it was you had bumped into, and when you did, the other person also turned around to face you. When you saw who it was, you froze.

Because standing in front of you was Eren Yeager.

You kind of stared at him for a second, not knowing what to say or do. You hadn’t seen him since the night you two happened to meet over the summer.

What was he doing in a frat house at your college?

But then you looked down at Eren’s white shirt, and sure enough, the name of your school was written on the front. It appeared that your college was also his college.

Not knowing what else to say, the thing that came out of your mouth was, “You go here?!”

Eren had been staring at you, too, but he laughed after your question.

“Yeah, and I assume you do also?” he asked.

You nodded, still in shock that you had run into him unexpectedly for a second time. Eren looked similar to how he did when you saw him over the summer. His hair was tied back in his usual style, but he had on loose-fitting basketball shorts instead of sweatpants. You also noticed that he had tiny black studs in his ears, which he hadn’t been wearing the last time you saw him.

Eren smiled and then leaned down until his mouth was next to your ear so he didn’t have to talk over the music.

“Funny we keep running into each other like this,” he said.

The air was warm, but you shivered as you felt him so close. Although you hadn’t seen Eren since the summer, he had never really left your mind. You met him when you were so young, and you weren’t sure what you had expected his more mature, adult-self to be like, but you certainly hadn’t been prepared for the Eren that stood in your room at home and in front of you now at this party.

As you looked at Eren’s handsome face, which was illuminated by the colorful flashing lights, you decided to forget about everything else and just enjoy the fact that you were able to see him again.

“Club Can’t Handle Me” was playing over the speakers, and you lightly touched Eren’s arm and looked into his green eyes, grinning mischievously.

“Want to dance?” you asked.

Eren seemed surprised at first, but then he returned your grin as he took your hand and pulled you closer.

You giggled as you put your arms around Eren’s neck, and his hands found your waist. He definitely wasn’t the most coordinated person ever, but it didn’t matter. His movements were enthusiastic and fun, and you were having such a good time. You felt the heat from Eren’s body wherever it made contact with yours.

When the chorus of the song came around, Eren began to mouth the words dramatically, and you couldn’t help but laugh.

He leaned down and asked, “Having fun?”

You nodded at him enthusiastically, and he smiled brightly in return. You saw that a piece of his hair had come loose from where it had been tucked behind his ear, so you brushed it back into place.

“I like your long hair,” you told him before you could stop yourself.

Eren’s eyes widened slightly at the compliment, but then he smirked.

“Really?” he asked playfully.

You regretted telling him for a second, but then you decided to just go with it.

“Yeah. It suits you,” you confessed.

Eren smiled and then brought his lips next to your ear to make sure you could hear him.

“You know,” he said, “I didn’t recognize you at first when we met over the summer.”

You laughed as you remembered that night.

“Yeah, I bet I looked pretty different,” you said. “Six years is a long time.”

“Mhmm,” Eren breathed, and you could hear his words right next to your ear. “You looked good, though. Still do tonight.”

You felt your entire body become hot as your heart rate sped up significantly, the words ringing loud in your ears despite the music. You didn’t know if it was the alcohol that was making you feel so affected by the compliment, or if it was just the fact that it was Eren who had said it.

After a few seconds, Eren moved his head so were looking into his eyes again. You decided that it was most definitely Eren himself who had you all nervous and flustered. Everything about him was suddenly intoxicating, and you couldn’t bring yourself to look away from his face.

You both stared at each other until your gaze flickered down to his mouth. Your heart rate sped up even more as you realized that you really wanted to kiss him.

It seemed like Eren was thinking the same thing. He watched as your eyes lowered to look at his mouth and he inhaled sharply. He moved his hand from your waist to place it gently on your cheek.

You looked back into Eren’s eyes, seeing your same desire in them. You unwrapped your arms from around his neck and moved them to rest your hands on Eren’s chest. You didn’t care about the music or all of the lights and people around you—the only thing you could focus on was the boy in front of you.

Eren slowly moved his face down until it was mere centimeters from yours. Your entire body felt like it was on fire as Eren looked into your eyes one last time.

“Is this what you want?” he asked, his voice just loud enough so you could hear it over the music.

It wasn’t even a question what you wanted.

“Yes,” you breathed, and Eren smiled.

“Me too,” he whispered, almost to himself, and then brought both of his hands to your face and closed the final gap between you.

It was like nothing you had ever experienced before. As Eren’s lips met yours, you immediately responded to his touch, moving your lips against his eagerly. You could still feel Eren’s hands on your face as he continued to kiss you passionately, making you melt into him completely.

You moved your hands across Eren’s broad chest, feeling the solid muscle through his shirt. He made a noise of approval low in his throat as he expertly parted your lips to explore your mouth with his tongue. You could taste whatever alcohol he had drank earlier that night, and you moved one of your hands from his chest to gently trace the line of his jaw before running it through his hair. Eren moved his hands to your waist and pulled you even closer so there was not even an inch of space where the front of your bodies weren’t touching.

You didn’t know how long you and Eren stayed like that, but eventually, you pulled away from each other, both of you breathing heavy. You stared at him, sort of in a state of disbelief that that had just happened. You’d often mentally roll your eyes at people who shamelessly made out with each other at parties, but you decided that you were beginning to understand the appeal.

Eren appeared to be just as discomposed as you. You had no idea what to say to him after that. You didn’t have to think about it for long, however, as Eren broke the tension.

“Uh…” he said, not able to find any real words to use.

“Yeah…” you replied after a moment, and then you both started to laugh.

Although you hadn’t expected the night to go this way, you had absolutely no complaints. You weren’t sure what this meant for you and Eren’s relationship moving forward, but you decided to worry about that later.

Eren looked like he was about to say something, but then someone came up and threw an arm around his shoulder.

“Yo, Eren, the Pres needs us.”

It appeared that Jean had been released from his job as bartender. You assumed that the “Pres” he was referring to was the president of the fraternity.

“Okay, can you give me a fucking minute?” Eren asked. Jean turned his head to get a better look at who Eren was with.

When he saw you, his eyebrows raised comically, and he smiled knowingly.

“Ahhh, I see,” Jean said, and then he moved his arm off of Eren’s shoulder. “Don’t be too long, though!” Jean called as he walked away.

Eren let out an exasperated breath once Jean was gone.

“Sorry about that,” he said. “New member duties and all.”

You smiled and nodded in understanding. “I get it. You better go, then.”

Eren smiled, albeit regretfully, and then leaned down once more so his face was next to your ear.

“I guess I’ll see you around,” he said, your name leaving his lips at the end of the sentence. You didn’t think you’d ever get used to hearing Eren’s voice so close like that. You didn’t get a chance to respond, however, as Eren had already turned to walk away.

You watched him as he walked until the mass of dancing people blocked your view. You smiled to yourself, so glad that you had chosen to go to this party after all.

You looked around and saw that Reiner and his friend had also gone somewhere else, presumably to the same place as Eren. Before you could look for your friends, you felt someone run up to you and start hitting your back repeatedly.

You turned around and saw that it was Hitch. She had the funniest smile on her face as she exclaimed, “Oh my god! Oh my god!” repeatedly.

“You saw that?” you asked, now feeling shy.

“Yes ma’am,” she said, and then playfully hit your shoulder again. “How could I not?! That was you and EREN FREAKING YEAGER! How do you know him?!”

You laughed at her excitement and said, “It’s a long story.”

Hitch raised her eyebrows suggestively and you shoved her lightly in return.

“It’s not like that,” you tried to convince her.

Hitch just continued to smirk. “Whatever,” she said. “I told you this party would be fun.”

You couldn’t agree with her more.

Read part 3 here

[blindingdutchy]

lamentation | FOUR

{peter parker x fem!reader AU}

based on All the Bright Places by Jennifer Niven

SERIES MASTERLIST

word count: 3,907

warnings: angst, talk of death/tragedy, a little fluff

18+!!! minors stay away

At school the following week you were more than a little embarrassed. Peter Parker had seen you outside of school twice, and both times you'd been a crying, hysterical mess. Granted, you were a hysterical mess all the time anymore, but you usually kept that very well suppressed. Then along came Peter, and suddenly there was another person outside of your family who knew just how messed up you were.

He didn't mention it, which you were thankful for. You could see that he was concerned, though, with the way his eyes seemed to linger on you during every silence. His worry and pity only made you more resentful of the things you had shown him.

You'd shown up to school the morning after he showed up in your room, and you weren't at all surprised to see him lingering by your locker with an antsy jitter as he rocked back and forth on his feet. What had surprised you, though, was the fact that once he saw you were present he simply nodded at you and walked away. Was that his idea of a truce? An understanding?

Whatever it was, you had been thankful for it. The last thing you had wanted that morning was to talk to Peter, knowing he'd certainly want to talk about the events of the night, and you were relieved to get a little break from his constant presence. He still sat by you in classes, but he didn't pester with you his usual chatter, nor did he follow you to your locker even once.

The trend had continued for most of the week, and you had to admit you were starting to feel a little more isolated without his overbearing company. It was strange--you almost, emphasis on almost, missed him. You'd grown used to ignoring his borderline stalker-like tendencies, and now without him around to ignore, you felt lonely. Lonelier than you already had been, anyways.

At home, things were just as cold and distant. Your mother was in a slump again following your outburst at dinner, and you were beating yourself up over it endlessly. She'd been doing good, finally, and you'd just had to have gone and ruined all of her progress.

She'd been holed up in her bedroom ever since that evening. Not even your father was able to get her to let him in, and in turn he was banished to the sofa night after night. As such, you were feeling the ice from your mother and your father alike. You couldn't blame him, really, because the sofa was definitely not the most comfortable for sleeping.

It felt a little like your life was falling apart all over again since your birthday. The childish, bitter part of you wanted to blame Peter, because it would have been so easy to blame the only thing that had changed in your life, but you knew better. It was you. You were the cause for everything that was going wrong, and you didn't know how to stop it.

Why couldn't you just be better? The whole world was moving on, making progress, and yet you were stagnant. You didn't understand why you couldn't let go of all the heavy things holding you down, holding you back, but you just couldn't. Grieving her wasn't getting easier, and you didn't know how to try and make that change.

"Are you alright?"

Startled by the sudden return of Peter's voice, you jumped in your seat and blinked at him in surprise. It had been such a long week of near radio silence from him that you were shocked to be acknowledged by him, despite the fact that you'd been sitting beside him for the entirety of your Speech class. You'd almost started to wonder if maybe he was ignoring you, though you didn't exactly try to talk to him either.

Quietly, you mumbled, "Not really, but that's normal these days."

It was only then that you realized class was over, students packing up and filing out of the classroom eagerly in anticipation of the weekend. You'd been far more spaced out than you had thought--it felt like just moments ago you were sitting down and waiting for class to begin. You awkwardly began to pack up your untouched classwork and Peter did the same, neither of you quite sure what to say to the other.

Ever since she died, you had an uncanny ability to make any and every situation uncomfortable without really trying. It started with your inability to contain your emotions in response to the thousands of condolences you received over those first few days, and then the more you secluded yourself it only got worse. People looked at you strangely and whispered when they thought you couldn't hear them. They thought you were a ticking time bomb, and in a sense they were correct.

Maybe that was the reason you weren't quite as adamant about pushing Peter away as you were others. He didn't look at you that way, nor did he whisper hushed words about you that would surely make your ears burn when you overheard. Both times that he had seen you in a horrible state, he'd only looked at you with concern and worry. Not once had you seen him give you those all too familiar apprehensive stares, and you were grateful for it.

Realizing you were moving at a strangely slow pace, and Peter was anxiously waiting for you to finish, you cleared your throat and muttered, "Do you want to start the project tomorrow? Or tonight, if you're not busy."

"Um," Peter stammered, not bothering to hide his surprise at your offer, "sure. Tonight is fine if--if that's okay with you."

The two of you stared at each other in silence for a moment, neither of you quite comfortable with the sudden change in atmosphere. Zipping your backpack, you stated, "Yeah, great."

"Great!" Peter echoed, and you both turned and hurried away from each other in discomfort.

When you told your father that Peter Parker was coming over that night you weren't entirely sure what to expect. The reaction you received, however was so far off your radar it scared you a little. He'd nearly wept with joy, kissing your cheek and saying he was proud of you for making friends again, to which you retorted Peter wasn't your friend.

He could tell it was a lie, despite the fact that under normal circumstances Peter definitely wouldn't have been considered a friend. For you, now and after everything you'd been through, he was the closest thing you had to a friend, though. So, you resisted the urge to fight your father on the premise and let him run off to boast to your mother about it.

Even if you felt like you weren't making progress, it couldn't hurt to let your parents think that you were. You were trying, anyways, so you didn't feel quite as guilty about letting them read too much into things. You just hoped that they didn't get their hopes up too high, because there was still time for you to mess things up like you always did.

You spent the afternoon cleaning your room and wallowing in your anxiety. The project was something you were dreading starting, mostly because you knew it would bring up all sorts of negative memories and emotions for you, but also because you feared what Peter would think of you. Would he judge you for your opinions? Would he think you were bitter and ridiculous?

For awhile you contemplated all the ways you could try and lie to appease him, thinking of ways to keep your composure well enough to debate on behalf of superheroes. In the end, though, you knew it was impossible. Arguing against the Avengers was going to be hard enough in itself, let alone trying to pretend you were in favor of them. Was it too late to ask for an alternate assignment?

Peter Parker: hey i'm on my way

Peter Parker: if that's okay. if you're busy that's fine too

It was definitely too late to ask for an alternate assignment, and as you typed out your response you decided it was time for you to finally start trying to do better. You'd wished for things to be easier, to be better, for so long, yet you'd never put in any of the work to make it happen. It was time for that to change. You were going to do the project, fight your stance to Peter, and try your best to not ruin his opinion of you completely in the process.

You: yeah that's fine

You: my mom says you can stay for dinner

You: if you want... if not that's cool you probably have other things to do

Okay, you were definitely biting off more than you could chew. Reading over your awkward texts to Peter made you cringe in a bad way, and you felt nauseous with embarrassment. It was so, so unbelievably hard trying to be approachable after you'd spent the past year pushing everyone away. The fear of him rejecting you was sending shockwaves through your entire body, tingling your skin all the way to the tips of your toes.

To your relief, Peter responded to let you know he was okay with staying for dinner, and informed you that he was on his way. You shot off a remark about using the door this time, and then promptly threw your phone away in shame. What if he thought you were being rude instead of joking? Or worse, what if he knew you were joking and thought it was stupid? Socializing was a real drain on your energy.

By the time Peter arrived with a timid knock on your bedroom door, followed by your mother's coo, "Oh, honey, just go on in. She's never doing anything," you had successfully stressed yourself into oblivion. You were so consumed by your thoughts you almost didn't notice her throwing open your door with a beaming grin, but the sound of Peter's uncomfortable laughter snapped you out of your daze.

"Uh, hi." you squeaked, suddenly extremely self conscious of your bedroom. He'd seen it before, obviously, but this time it was actually swathed in lamp light and the evening sun. "You can sit."

Peter stood in silence, studying your room with an indecipherable look on his face for a long moment. "It's nice in here." he finally stated, dropping his backpack and letting that easy grin slip across his lips for the first time in the past week. It was incredibly relieving to see it, and you even found yourself relaxing a little.

He sat on the edge of your bed and both of you turned to your mother curiously as she continued to stand in your doorway with a tearful smile. Jumping in shock, she gasped, "Oh, right, right. I'll just be downstairs if you need anything. It was lovely to meet you, Peter."

With one last lingering gaze, your mother backed out of the room and shut the door. That was how you knew this was a special occasion in her eyes--what sane mother would ever shut her teenage daughter in a bedroom with a teenage boy willingly? It had been a long while since you'd genuinely felt embarrassed, but you couldn't help but to groan and cover your face at the whole situation.

Peter, however, seemed thoroughly amused by everything. "Your mom is a lot like my Aunt May." he mused, twinkling brown eyes trailing over every inch of your room, "Your room is huge. I think I could fit my entire bedroom in here three times and still have extra space."

"I used to share it with my sister."

He paled at your statement and stuttered, "Oh, shit, I'm so--I'm so sorry. I didn't know--"

"Peter, it's fine." you interrupted his frantic apology, and for what felt like the first time ever, you meant it.

It was fine. You didn't feel angry or bitter about the reminder of her disappearance from your life, and it was strange to you. You liked it, though, and it felt nice to talk about her without being bogged down by thousands of horrible thoughts and feelings.

Relaxing only slightly at your reassurance, Peter looked at you wearily as if he expected you to start crying or lash out at him. To his, and your own, surprise you gave a small smile. That still felt wrong; it didn't come very naturally to you anymore, but Peter seemed mesmerized by it none the less.

The sight of your permanent frown disappearing from your face gave him the confidence to move on from the uncomfortable topic, it seemed, because he grinned back and moved to unzip his backpack. "Okay, so, first thing's first--have you read the outline for the project? It's ridiculously broad and I've been struggling to think of any ideas to make our speech unique." he rambled, rifling through the crumpled mess of papers he retrieved from his bag until he finally found what he was looking for.

You slid your smooth, unwrinkled copy across the bed and asked, "Shouldn't we start with which stance we're taking?"

Peter blinked at you, and you tensed in preparation for the argument that was about to ensue. "What do you mean? I thought it was just a given that we were arguing in favor of the Avengers?" he questioned, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion, "I mean, I'm pretty sure everyone is going to."

"I wanted to argue in opposition, actually." you muttered, pursing your lips. "That could be what makes ours stand out, you know?"

His lips opened and closed like a fish for a few moments as he clearly struggled to formulate words, but eventually he sputtered, "Is that the only reason why? I don't know if I can argue against myself, considering I kind of am an Avenger."

You chewed at the inside of your cheek, already wishing the ground would open up and swallow you whole. Letting Peter into your space, into your life, was already hard enough--adding conflict into the mix only made your heart rate pick up and your hands start to sweat. "I don't agree with the Avengers, no, but I have reasons. So, maybe you feel weird arguing against yourself, but I feel just as weird arguing in favor of something I don't agree with." you finally explained, and Peter's eyes widened incredulously.

"Why don't you like the Avengers?"

You nearly scoffed at the way he posed the question, as if he were asking you why you weren't a fan of a specific sports team. "I don't agree with them, there's a difference." you stated bluntly.

Peter wiped his palms on his jeans tensely, just as you did the same, and repeated, "Why, though? What's not to agree with? They--they've saved the world over and over again, isn't that impossible to not agree with?"

"At what cost, though?" you retorted, "Have you paid any mind to all the things they've destroyed? How many lives they've ended, or destroyed, in the midst of their heroic deeds?"

He seemed to get riled up by the bitter way you spat out the word heroic and scoffed, "Okay, but that doesn't just happen with the Avengers. The police do all of that and more on a much more frequent basis."

You raised your eyebrows challengingly, though you had to admit it was a fair counter argument. Clicking your tongue, you rebutted, "That's true, but at least sometimes there are consequences for that! With people like the Avengers there are no consequences. There's no justice, no opposition, nothing! They can do whatever they want, whenever they want, no matter who gets hurt in the process."

Peter stood from your bed abruptly, raking a hand through his hair and pacing around your room with red cheeks. You could tell very well that he was trying to control his temper, though he was about as intimidating as a mouse, and you took deep breathes yourself. The last thing you wanted to do was to make him angry with you, but you weren't willing to back down about how you felt.

Inhaling slowly, he turned to you once again and said, "There are consequences. Don't you remember the Sokovia Accords? That whole fiasco was because of people who felt like you do."

The Sokovia Accords were a sham in your eyes. You remembered well when they had come about, and it seemed that they had changed nothing. For awhile most of the Avengers had gone off the grid, choosing to be international fugitives rather than sign, until the world needed them again. When Thanos had tried to wipe out half of all life in the universe they'd all come out of the woodwork again to save the day, and afterward it seemed as if all was forgotten.

There was no punishment for Captain America, Black Widow, none of them. They stopped another world ending event, causing plenty of damage in the process, and in turn were regarded as godly heroes once again. You sometimes wondered if the Accords were even a thing anymore.

"They felt that way for good reason!" you snapped before clearing your throat and trying to calm down again, "The Avengers have caused just as much devastation as they've prevented, maybe even more."

Peter jumped at your loud tone and snapped back, "What would you even know about it? I see it first hand every time, remember, so I know what happens! What do you know?"

"They killed my sister, did you know that?" you shouted, and he froze in place with wide eyes and parted lips, "Yeah, you know what happens, right? Well then you should know that I know damn well the damage the Avengers can do."

He sat back down on your bed wordlessly, watching you hesitantly as you tugged at a loose thread on your blanket anxiously. "I didn't know that, (Y/N)," he sighed, "I'm really sorry."

You didn't say anything for a long while, not trusting your voice to come out steady as you tried to hold back tears and also keep your temper in line. Talking about your sister's death wasn't something you really did, mostly because you knew it would cause you to break down. It hurt too much to think of it, let alone speak the words out loud.

But, as Peter continued to watch you as if expecting you to explode, you tried your best, "It was my fault. If it weren't for me we wouldn't have been at the park, and she--and she wouldn't have had to wait for me."

Peter reached out and gripped your hand firmly in his, causing you to momentarily short circuit in shock. You internally battled the conflicting urges to pull away or cling to him, but eventually you relaxed into the contact. Gently grasping his hand back, you let out a shaky breathe you hadn't realized you'd been holding.

It was grounding having his hand in yours. You didn't feel like you were at risk of drifting away into the void like you usually did; with his hand touching you, it felt as if you had a secure connection to the world again. It was a feeling you never wanted to lose again.

"It wasn't your fault, (Y/N)," he soothed, but you shook your head stubbornly.

Your eyes burned as you continued, "It was! She wanted to go shopping but I begged her to come to the park with me instead. I wanted to take some photos, and she'd argued with me for so long until she finally caved. A little bit after we got there we heard this really loud explosion, and I just--I just froze, and I..."

The words seemed to lodge in your throat, and your voice came out hoarse as you forced them out, "I froze staring up at Iron Man blasting some alien through the air, so stupidly shocked I didn't notice the building collapsing until she pushed me out of the way. I tried to grab her, but it was too late! A bunch of bricks hit her and--"

"Hey, hey, you don't have to tell me." Peter hushed you, gripping your hand tighter and scooting so close to you that his leg was pressed up against yours. Somehow the increased contact and warmth caused you to break, and suddenly you were crying in front of Peter Parker for the third time. You were three for three on crying in his presence, a thought that made you cry harder in embarrassment.

He didn't seem to care at all, though, as he took you by surprise and hugged you. "He just flew right by us. He didn't even stop when I screamed for help." you croaked, clutching Peter's shirt tightly in your fists as he held you, "I hate them. I hate them so much because it should be their fault, but I just keep blaming myself!"

You really hoped your mother wasn't eavesdropping, because she'd surely have wanted to talk to you about everything later. In all the time that had passed since your sister's death, you hadn't once retold the events of that day. You'd never spoken a single word about it, not even to the police who questioned you following the incident.

No matter how hard your parents had urged you to talk about it, or your therapist, you hadn't ever budged. It was your burden to bear, and you had never felt the desire or the strength to impart that load unto anyone else. Peter somehow broke down all of your walls without even trying, though, and it felt like a breathe of fresh air to finally get it all off of your chest.

There was no explanation for why he seemed to get you to do all the things you swore you never would without a word. It made no sense at all, and it scared you a lot, but you liked it. You craved the connection he gave you. Already, after such a short amount of time, you needed it. It would surely have crushed you if he decided not to care.

As your crying slowly subsided, Peter rubbed your back timidly and comforted, "It wasn't your fault, (Y/N), I mean it. It was just a freak thing, and you couldn't have done anything to stop it--sometimes bad things just happen, and they're inevitable."

"But, if I had just--"

He cut you off, "No, no buts. It wasn't your fault and you couldn't have prevented it. Trust me, I know exactly how you feel, okay? It wasn't my fault, and it wasn't your fault either."

You wanted to ask him how he could possibly know what you felt, or what he meant by saying it wasn't his fault, but it wasn't the right time. Pulling away and wiping your eyes, you sniffled, "I really need to stop crying in front of you. You're like an onion, you know? I just can't stop crying when you're around me."

Peter laughed loudly at your weak joke, and you couldn't fight back the quiet giggle the escaped your lips too. You hadn't laughed, genuinely laughed, in so long. "I like your laugh," he breathed, and your stomach erupted in the strangest fluttery sensation, "I like it a lot. You should never stop laughing."

SERIEST TAGLIST {ask to be added}:

@msmimimerton @zendayasfwb @sweet-symphony

[djemsostylist]

This is not Eda Yildiz's Story...

With SCK’s return in season 2 and this highly polarizing plot, I’ve seen a lot of talk and debate about plot and character and the direction of the show. I’ve complained enough on my tumblr that I think it’s pretty obvious where I stand, but lately I’ve been thinking less about what I hate and rather why it doesn’t work. Like it or hate it, I think we can all agree that the plot and direction of the show is strange. The story has been a mess, arguably, since the early teens. Once we’d finished Ayse’s initial arc, it was clear we were moving into “plot” controlled territory, and that trend continued. I don’t think anyone can deny that the new story follows a similar narrative “shift” that seems to have dominated the story since the 30s. It feels different, and I think that feeling has continued even with the return of the original writer. It sort of crystallized for me when I was watching one of summer’s new show, Cam Tavanlar. 40 minutes in and we had yet to meet the male lead, and it was then that I realized that’s it.

I’ve seen a lot of talk about how feminist SCK is, and how this is “Eda’s” story. Fans have long asked the question “when is Eda going to graduate?” and it’s a valid question if Eda is our main character, since that is one of her two primary motivations. It's worth noting before we begin that I like Eda--I loved her for the first 28 episodes, her portrayal by Hande is excellent, and she is a fun and easy character to love. But rewatching the early episodes of the show and then watching Cam Tavanlar made me realize the issue at hand: this isn’t Eda’s story, and she is not, nor has she ever been, the main character. The story of SCK is the story of Serkan Bolat--I just don’t think anyone realized it.

Let’s think about Eda for a moment. When we meet Eda, she is a down-on-her-luck college drop out. She’s lost her scholarship and is stuck working at her aunt’s flower shop until she figures out what to do with her life. From the first episode, we learn a few things. She has two main goals--graduate, and be with the man she loves. We also learn a little about her character--she is determined, strong-willed, stubborn, impulsive, kind-hearted, and loving. She believes in seeing the best in people (unless their name is Serkan Bolat), and she values family and friends above almost everything else. Her introduction shows her as slightly frazzled, a little overwhelmed, and very young.

Over the next 11 episodes, we learn surprisingly little else about her. These are the things we know:

She lives with her aunt after her parent’s untimely death which affects her to this day.

She blames her grandmother for their death and is scared of her control.

She and Melo have known each other since they were children.

She works with orphans and loves the idea of helping children.

She loves plants and flowers.

She likes dogs.

She has plans for two children someday.

She wants to study in Italy.

She used to own a charm bracelet.

She is claustrophobic, which is likely connected to her fainting when she is stressed because of a claustrophobic situation when she learned of her parents’ passing.

What we don’t know could fill books. We don’t know exactly why she blames her grandmother for their death. We don’t know if Eda actually knows/has met her grandmother after her aunt took her and left. We don’t know how she met or knows either Ceren or Fifi. We don't know why she wants to be a landscape architect, or what drew her to want to study in Italy. We don’t know why she never pursued any other options when she lost her scholarship. We don’t know how she got the scholarship in the first place (grades, essay, project, some combination?). We don’t know her long term goals other than graduate and get married. Does she want her own company, is there a project she really wants or a company she would love to work for? We don’t really even know her feelings on relationships and marriage. How long did she date Cenk? How did they meet? What did she hope for their future? We don’t know anything about her childhood or how she was raised, and we aren’t even that clear on her relationship with her aunt, since it vacillates from almost no guidance at all to extremely controlling and manipulative. The point is, Eda is still, even 39 episodes in, more a collection of traits than a fully realized character.

Eda starts Episode 1 as a headstrong, independent, impulsive, kind, strong-willed, determined woman who wants to graduate and be with the man she loves. She ends episode 12 exactly the same--different man, same goals, same traits. She ends the way she starts.

The next 12 are the same. Eda starts as a headstrong, independent, impulsive, kind, strong-willed, determined woman who wants to graduate and be with the man she loves. She ends episode 24 the same way. This time, everything is the same as it was 12 episodes ago--same man, same goals, same traits. Again, what changes does Eda truly go through in these episodes? Any? Does she learn to think before she acts? Does she learn to temper her stubbornness? Does she define her future goals?

Let’s look at Serkan Bolat. When we meet Serkan, he is the successful CEO of an architecture firm returning from a business trip. His main goal--his only goal--is to achieve success and recognition in business. We also learn a little about his character--he is a stubborn, strong-willed, independent, closed-off man who prioritizes work over everything. He believes love is a fairy tale, and that all relationships are ultimately contracts no different from work contracts. His introduction is calm, cool, collected, and in control.

Over the next 11 episodes, we learn A LOT about Serkan. We learn:

He had an older brother he was very close to. His brother was the golden child and the center of his family, who was a musician. We learn that Serkan was very close to him, and that his brother’s death rocked the foundations of his entire family.

He was sent away by his father to boarding school at an early age because his mother had a mental breakdown and couldn’t cope and his father wasn’t capable of handling it.

A lot about his relationship with his parents, their goals and expectations for him, and why he is so closed off and has a hard time making meaningful connections as a result of how he was raised.

That he has wanted to be an architect since he was a child, which is how long he has loved magic and the stars.

He studied astronomy in college.

He believes in supporting the education of young people.

He rescued his dog.

He moved home to be close to his mother who suffers from agoraphobia.

Where he met all of his close friends and enemies.

His feelings on relationships and marriage.

His fears and insecurities.

His hypochondria.

His various talents (horseback riding, car racing, swimming, guitar playing).

In fact, there is very little we don’t know about Serkan Bolat.

Serkan starts episode 1 as a strong-willed, closed-off, business minded asshole who believes all relationships are contracts and doesn’t believe in love. He ends the first 12 as a more open, giving, softer version of himself, who believes in love and the importance of a relationship and whose goal is no longer just to be a businessman, but to prioritize the needs of the woman he loves over his own.

Over the next 12 episodes, we see Serkan learn to navigate what it means to be in a relationship--to learn to trust, to give and take, to let go of control, or let his feelings guide him, and to be open and honest with what he feels and how he loves. We go from a Serkan who couldn’t say the word “love” when talking in private to his best friend and thought apologizing by email was the best choice, to a man who can sit in a room full of people and declare openly his love for the woman beside him. When the series comes to a close in 28, we have a Serkan Bolat whose priority is love and family, and whose main goal is to become a husband and father.

Serkan, from episodes 1-28, experiences an entire arc, from consummate businessman to family man. He goes from closed and cold to open and warm. From a man who can’t even bring himself to explain that he doesn’t love his ex-girlfriend, to a man who can openly sit and talk about how much he loves his fiancee. He goes from a man whose friends drift around the periphery of his life, to a man whose newest friend is a former business rival. He grows and changes and develops, and each of the storylines, from the fake contract in 1-12 to the breakup in 13-24, to working towards marriage in 25-28, all bring this about.

Even the story is shot to show us Serkan's pov. How many times do we see Eda through his eyes? How many times do we get to focus on Serkan and his reactions, whether it’s to Eda, to news, to his feelings? Think about it. If the story is really about Eda, then all the focus in the teens should be on Eda. And while we certainly see her reactions, the story is squarely centered on Serkan and his feelings. 13 is about his relationship with his father, dealing with his company in crisis, and making the choice to go to Italy with Eda. 14 is about him coming to grips with the news and deciding what he wants to do. 15/16 are watching him deal with the fallout and the loss of Eda in his life. 17 is about his fears and hopes for children and a family with Eda. 18/19 are him coming to realize how desperately he wants and needs her in his life. Eda gets reaction time sure, but she’s not the focus--Serkan is. Think about the episodes I just described--what does Eda really do in any of them?

Even their family and friends. Eda’s life is filled with people who are less characters and more set dressing for her story. Ayfer begins and ends our series as a character who seems to be whatever the narrative requires--she has no real defining personality traits, and her backstory is nonexistent. She has no life beyond Eda and the girls, and it isn’t even until after Ayse is gone that we start to see hints of her maybe becoming a real character. The results were disappointing, but I give props to the writers for giving Ayfer some kind of plot beyond “the flower shop is suddenly in a monetary crisis”. Fifi, Ceren, and Melo don’t fare much better. Ceren we know has the desire to be a shoe designer and has a rich lawyer daddy. She at least gets a side plot with Engin where we can see her as more of a person than Fifi, who was basically never a character at all. Melo fares the best, although much like Eda, she is boiled down to a few basic traits that don’t change. Eda’s life is otherwise devoid of color and life--no neighborhood friends or acquaintances, no backstory for her childhood. She seems to spring into our story like a fairy fully formed, and there is no real effort made to develop her at all.

Contrast this to Serkan’s family, where we get to watch not only his parents, but also Engin and even Piril and Ferit, grow and change. We see Aydan go from a stubborn, nasty, judgmental woman to a woman who is kind, open, and supportive of her son and the woman she wants to be her daughter. We see his father is more than merely an absent dad, but a man who is so stuck in his ways he is unable to open up--until Eda. (That his story is ruined is neither here nor there). Engin goes from a goofy sidekick to a competent husband and. Even Piril learns to unclench, Ferit goes from a doofy, hanger on to one of Serkan’s greatest supports.

The point is, the story of SCK is the story of how Serkan Bolat learned to open himself up to love, family, and the possibility of a life beyond work. That Eda is an essential part of that story goes without saying, but it is, ultimately, his story. It’s funny, but I remember at the end of 28 saying that I missed Serkan Bolat. My friends laughed at me “he’ll be back next week” and while at the time I was being dramatic, I realized it’s true. Because Serkan Bolat’s story was done at the end of 28 episodes. When he made the decision to get married to the woman he loves, to prioritize her over everything, to become a husband and father, his story came to a beautiful and natural close. Their love story was really his story, the story of two people who came together and loved each other, and the ways in which that love allowed him to live a full life.

Any story that would come after centered on Serkan wouldn’t make sense. At best, we could have a few episodes of Serkan as a married man, but really, he doesn’t have much else to give us. So, if the story was going to continue, something had to change. And that means finding a new character’s story to tell. Eda, naturally, fits the bill. Since her story and growth has taken a back seat to Serkan, it makes sense to pivot and make her the main character. At the end of 28, one of her goals has been fulfilled--be with the man she loves. Therefore, naturally, the next part of the story, the story she will now be telling, will be the other half of that goal--graduate and become a successful architect.

As Eda steps into the lead role, we no longer have a need to focus on a story about two people falling in love and how that love grows and changes them. That story was Serkan’s story, and the new story we are telling has Serkan in the supporting role, while Eda learns to navigate the corporate world. Her story is that of a woman who must balance work and life, motherhood and the job, family and friends while also running a successful business. In this new story, we have a time jump (5 years, which is necessary both because with covid we can’t have babies on set and also because they have found the perfect actress to portray their daughter). Serkan is taking more of a backseat role, having already achieved so many of his professional goals, so while he still is a successful CEO, he also has time to take care of their child and run the minutia of day to day business life while Eda stretches her wings and becomes the business woman she has dreamed of being.

In the final episodes, we would watch as Eda goes from a headstrong, willful, stubborn, impulsive young woman, to a strong, smart, business savvy boss who continues to put her family--her husband, children, and friends--in the forefront of her life. Their love story is now merely a backseat to Eda’s growth and journey.

Except, that’s not what they did. They made Eda the main character but then tried to retell a love story that had already concluded. And to do that, they needed to reset. Everything. After all, how do you retell a love story that has already finished? How do you retell a love story that we’ve already seen playout? How do you tell a love story between two people that has had a beginning, a middle and an end? The answer, it seems, is to start over. Scrap all previous growth, character progress, and storytelling from the first arc with one of your characters, and set him right back at square 1. Or, as it appears, square -10. Take your new main character, and change her. Tweak her just enough to make her work for this new and improved story by removing enough of her core to fit in the plot. Then, move forward from there, and pray the audience doesn’t see what you’ve done until it’s far too late.

So there it is. The fundamental problem with SCK. It’s not about liking or hating it--people like what they like, and this isn’t a judgement on anyone who is fine with the new plot. I’m hardly an expert writer, and perhaps I’m overlooking some missing nuance. But I don’t think you can argue that this new direction is good. It may be enjoyable, which is always subjective, but it’s not good. I don’t think it’s the sort of thing people will look back on and say “Oh, what an excellent piece of writing and characterization!” Hardcore Ayse stans will, I think, they seem impervious to critique or critical thinking, but a read on the fandom at large seems to indicate that most people accept that the plot itself is nonsensical, but they are here for Hande and Kerem and a cute little actress and not much else. To them, having Hanker on screen for another 10 episodes is enough, and there’s nothing wrong with that. I just think that it could have been so much more, and that’s what makes this so strange. But I guess maybe that’s what happens when not even the writer realizes who her own main character truly is.

[olivia-anderson-fanfic]

Soulmarks, Part 18

First part

Previous

~~~

Tim hugged himself. He was, in a word, shaken.

In many words, though, he was absolutely terrified of what Inamovibi-Lady had become. From dropping him and Bruce off a building to murdering Harley and Joker in gruesome ways, she was extremely amoral in how she achieved her goals. Sure, he’d known that akumas have their own moral code, but it had never really sunk in until he’d been faced with it.

And the akuma had told him that Marinette was inside there, and that she wasn’t particularly against anything she was doing.

But how true was that?

It appeared that she was just now starting to process what she’d done. She was shaking a little bit, her eyes wide. He hesitated and detransformed momentarily to get his jacket and then draped it over her shoulders. It wasn’t a shock blanket, but it would have to do.

She looked at him for a second and seemed to smile a little more (it was hard to tell) before looking down at her yoyo.

He went back to standing a careful distance away, his eyes wandering to his family. Everyone seemed a mix of sickened and frightened by what had happened.

Adrien was full on crying, curled up on the floor with his head in his knees. Fair enough, this really wasn’t his night. He’d found out his father was the supervillain he’d been fighting for years, had his best friend akumatized, had difficulty communicating with everyone, and now an akuma that he’d helped create had brutally murdered two people. A breakdown was pretty much inevitable.

Dick sat down next to him and pulled him into his side. Adrien didn’t seem to know what to do with the affection for a second before burying his face in his shoulder.

“Master Fu’s house, please,” said the akuma, bringing his attention back to her.

He hesitated slightly.

He was definitely going to be alone for this one. Even if he could break the moral barrier keeping him from taking a crying Adrien along to fight her, he doubted that he would be of much help.

But it wasn’t like he was really getting any choice in this. Her next target after the ‘Master Fu’ person was definitely going to be Hawkmoth and, though he could admit that she was stronger than normal, they definitely weren’t prepared to fight him. He had to beat her.

How, though? Sure, he at least knew that she wasn’t trying to hurt him (he’d just found out what would have happened to him if she had actually wanted him dead), but that didn’t mean much when she went to drastic measures to ensure that things went her way. He didn’t know how lenient she would be with him if she actually thought him a threat, because she obviously didn’t --. 

He felt a hand rest on his arm and pulled himself from his thoughts to send Inamovibi-Lady a smile.

“Sorry.”

She raised an eyebrow at him and crossed her arms over her chest. He tried not to think about the bloody handprint now on his arm as he glanced at his family. Still no help. Great. How dare they be in shock?

He gave Inamovibi-Lady an awkward smile and opened a portal underneath them.

When they dropped into the tiny shop it took everything in Tim not to slam his head against a wall. Master Fu was just sitting at the table, drinking tea and eating sandwiches. He’d had a five hour warning, why the fuck hadn’t he even tried to run?

She twirled her yoyo, her black eyes narrowed to slits.

“Hello, Marinette.”

“Inamovibi-Lady,” she corrected. Her head tipped to the side. “You’re not going to run away?”

“If you’d like to air your grievances, I would love to hear them.”

The akuma, if possible, looked even more suspicious. “Really?”

Master Fu shrugged and gave a tiny wave of his hand before leaning back. “Mhmm. Go on.”

“I��” Inamovibi-Lady began, then stopped. There was a few times where she opened and closed her mouth, unsure what to do in this type of situation, and then she shrugged and brought her microphone to her hand. “Right, um… citizens of Paris! I’m back, and I’m here to do hearing number five! Well, four for you guys, but five total! With us today is Wang Fu!”

The old man caught Tim’s gaze and then flicked his eyes to the side quickly. Was Tim sure it had meant something? Yes. Did he have any clue what this guy was trying to say? No.

“Now, what he did was particularly messed up. Imagine, you’re a kid on their way to school, and you see this old man about to get run over. You help them. And, because of this, this random guy decides to give you the responsibility of making sure the entire city of Paris never falls to a superterrorist!”

“You must understand --.”

“Shut up. I’m not done.”

Tim rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly and took a few short steps back so he could hopefully stay out of this conversation.

He also took the chance to detransform out of Inamovibi-Lady’s view. He didn’t know if Hawkmoth could hear and see everything that the akuma could, but he wasn’t going to test it. Kaalki floated over to Master Fu and stole the bread off of his sandwiches before settling herself on Tim’s shoulder to eat.

“Let’s skip over the fact that you asked two thirteen-year-olds to protect an entire city for now, because let’s talk about the fact that I didn’t have a choice!”

“You could have refused at any point.”

“Like hell I could! The city was under attack and it was obvious no normal person could do it, and then after that I was too popular to just disappear! At least the Americans recruiting kids ask them if they want to do it before they set them up as vigilantes!”

Tim transformed again and crossed his arms over his chest as he considered what to do.

He kind of wanted to let her attack the old man -- he knew first hand exactly how stressful being a vigilante is, and the idea of being thrown into it without warning was enough to make him wince -- but, at the same time, letting her do that would be kind of messed up of him.

Also, he had no plan at all, which was kind of a problem if he was going to be trying to stop her.

“So, now for your judgement.”

Shit!

“How about…” She tapped her finger on her chin as if in thought for a moment before smiling widely. “I take those miraculi off your hands. You’re clearly too old to make proper decisions about who to give them to, and I have someone better in mind.”

He needs a plan! And now!

Ah. There’s one. A bad one. But one nonetheless.

He launched himself at the akuma from behind and they both cursed as she stumbled and threw them off-balance.

But, instead of just falling to the ground for a wrestling match, her back hit something invisible and they screamed in a mix of panic and confusion as the illusion broke to reveal that they were in the turtle miraculous’s shield. They had bigger problems, though, as they rolled through the room.

They came to a stop when they hit the wall, which was unfortunate considering they were at the top. They fell the few feet to the bottom of the hamster ball and groaned.

Tim peeled his face out of her stomach and slowly pushed himself up and looked around.

Master Fu was wearing both the turtle and fox miraculi.

Well, now he knew what he’d been trying to tell him earlier: to move so he wouldn’t be caught in the hamster ball, too. Wow. Wish there was a hand motion for that or something, because Tim was not eager to be back inside, and especially not with a particularly angry akuma.

Actually, now that he was thinking about it, she was taking this remarkably well (for an akuma). Inamovibi-Lady laid back in the hamster ball and started doing tricks with her yoyo.

“You can’t keep this up forever, Fu. You have to sleep. I don’t.”

Oh. That made sense. Unfortunately.

“Besides, since Hawkmoth knows you have miraculi here, I’m expecting him to come by at some point. Gonna protect yourself and the miraculous box or keep me in here?”

Can she please stop making sense? Just for a few minutes?

He sighed and covered his ears. He needed to concentrate. He needed a plan. He had quite a bit of time, he assumed, but the faster he fixed this the faster everything could work out.

Well, not work out, they were long past that point, but at least it would be over.

His eyes found their way to her yoyo. Of course they did, it was moving around wildly, and the human eye is attracted to movement. But…

Tim shrugged to himself. A terrible plan came to him, it was really too bad they were desperate. He grabbed the akuma’s arm and opened a portal underneath them.

And they were falling.

Inamovibi-Lady screamed obscenities as they plummeted towards earth, the Eiffel Tower whizzing past them at lightning speed. He pulled her actual yoyo from his belt just in case he was wrong in how he thought this would play out...

She pulled him to her side and he breathed a sigh of relief as she threw her yoyo. She hooked it around a beam and their fall came to a jerking stop that he was not ready for. He swore he left his stomach about ten meters up.

But no time to think about that! He wrapped his arms around her as well.

“That went to plan,” he said.

“Really? Your plan was to almost die, then?” He couldn’t tell for sure, but he knew she was rolling her eyes. “You’re literally so stupid. You and Chat should have a stupid-off.”

He grinned.

She looked around for a safe place for them to land. “You might need to climb the string to get up. How good are you at that?”

He gave a tiny shrug and made a move to push himself up, only to pull the earring from her ear.

Relief flooded through him as purple and black engulfed her and her weapon. Done. Finally.

He only came to realize his mistake the moment her yoyo started to disappear.

And they were falling again.

And she was barely conscious.

And he had no idea how yoyos worked as weapons or grappling hooks are you kidding me?

He looked at the one in his free hand and shrugged mentally. He either doesn’t try and they both end up dead, tries and fails and they both end up dead, or tries and actually succeeds. He hooked his arm and legs around her as tightly as he could and prayed that it was even slightly like his grappling hook as he threw it.

They swung to safety. Kind of. He caught them pretty close to the ground, and the yoyo didn’t really hook around the beam all that well, so it mostly just slowed their fall, but outside of a few bruises they’d probably be fine when they took off their suits.

He groaned quietly and crushed the earring in his hand and caught the akuma.

And then he let himself lay down beside a confused and groggy Marinette.

Tim watched the sun start to rise and sighed, bringing an arm up to cover his eyes.

It had been a long night, but it was over now.

~~~

Next part

Taglist

@pawsitivelymiraculous @golden-promises @salty-fang @kitsunebell @sassakitty @octobitch @glastwime859 @miyla-lokidottir @onlyabatfan @ira-sairain @2confused-2doanything @ultimatetornshipper @ladybug-182 @laurcad123 @we-want-mini-mini @roguishredaxion @just-reblogs-by-h @futursworld @magic-miraculous @nathleigh @smolplantmum @vroomtaka  @emimar7 @toodaloo-kangaroo @charme-de-malchan @spicybelladonna @fusser90 @indecisive-mess-named-me @rosesgonerogue @celestialsiren @bluesimani @loysydark @trippingovermyfeet @goblinwhoships

[wiypt-writes]

Riding High

Chapter 12- ILY

Chapter Summary: Its Christmas…and we reach the end of a stressful year for Frank…but as he looks back he realises, it ain’t all been that bad.

Chapter Warnings: Bad Language words. Talks of SMUT but nothing major

Chapter Pairings:  Frank Adler x OFC Fliss Gallagher

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar Fliss Gallagher and the other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.

Riding High Masterlist // Main Masterlist

Chapter 11

Frank looked up as Fliss walked into her parent’s kitchen and his mouth dropped open. She was dressed in a gorgeous long legged strapless jumpsuit along which the neckline was embellished with lace flowers which spread down the sheer sleeves. Her long hair was styled in loose curls and she’d done something to her make up that made her cheek bones stand out even more. Her eyelids were adorned with a deep green that shimmered and made her dark eyes pop and she had a clear gloss on her plump lips. Fuck, she looked stunning. But as he watched, he saw her face fall and she bit her lip.

“Is it…is it not ok?” She asked shyly “I can change…I mean…”

“Don’t you dare.” He said sternly, stepping forward, his hands falling to her hips “Honey, you look amazing.”

Her face lit up and she smiled at him, shyly “I wasn’t sure how posh to go or…”

“Lissy…” He chuckled “Stop it.”

“Sorry.” She wrinkled her nose as she stepped back slightly and looked him up and down, taking in his dark jeans, boots and light denim button down. “You look pretty good too Sailor.” she smiled, running her hands up his chest to his shoulder and he noticed then she was also wearing her Pandora. He smiled back, his eyes also spotting that her neck was bare and then had the perfect idea for a final Christmas Gift he had been struggling to come up with. With a soft smile he leaned down, taking in that she was slightly taller than usual thanks to her heels and he pressed a gentle kiss to her mouth.

“Get a room…” Bill shot as he walked into the kitchen, Mary in tow.

“Bore off.” Fliss shot back, looking at her dad as he sent her a grin before he did a double take.

“Wow, you look cracking Titch.”

“Thanks” she smiled

“You ready to go?”

“Sure you don’t mind dropping us?” Frank turned to look at Bill “It’s no problem to get a cab.”

“It’s no bother at all, besides, I need to collect the Thai anyway.” Bill waved him off.

“You’re getting Thai?” Frank raised an eyebrow and glanced at Mary “Funny that just so happens to be your favourite…”

She shrugged “Verity asked what I wanted for dinner.”

Frank sighed and looked at Bill “You spoil her.”

Bill shrugged “And?”

Frank rolled his eyes a soft smile playing on his face. The way that Bill and Verity had welcomed Mary, and him for that matter, into their lives still amazed him. Whilst he and Fliss had only been officially together four weeks or so now, they’d opened their doors to him the day they had met pretty much back in August and he was eternally grateful. Mary got a sense of family, something he had wanted her to have all her life. It had even been brought up at the Court Hearing earlier that week where the paperwork had been signed awarding him legal guardianship status, the woman from the Child services department commenting in the court room that Mary had been gushing about Bill, Verity and Fliss, and seemed extremely settled.

Frank was simply relieved all of it was more or less over.

The last two weeks had been stressful as Greg had been handling the main discussions with the state for him and when they’d sat down one night to go over the notes for the settlement they had proposed, Greg told Frank that 2 major conditions would be set. Firstly that he found a home to allow Mary a room of her own and secondly that she was given access to a higher, more challenging form of education. After a bit of discussion with Mary, who had insisted she didn’t want to go to a posh school, Greg had done a little research into previous cases and come up with a suggestion that Child Services agreed with. They would provide a scholarship grant that would allow Mary to attend a number of University classes a few days a week and then her normal school the rest. It was a middle ground, giving Mary the mental stimulation she needed but also allowing her to be a normal kid. It was agreed she would return to normal school when term started in January and the arrangements would be made with the University to start there when their term picked up the middle of the same month. Frank had insisted that she wouldn’t be taking any exams or anything like that, just doing the work, keeping herself occupied. The judge had accepted the proposal, giving Frank 6 months to find alternative living arrangements, and had then awarded the Guardianship temporarily with the instruction it be awarded permanently upon a review in 6 months. So whilst not 100% complete, it was almost there, and Frank knew that as long as he did what they said, there would be no problem. The other good thing was nothing had legally been awarded to Evelyn, after she had remained completely absent from the proceedings. Which meant that if she did reach out, Frank would have total control over where and how often contact took place. Which suited him fine as he could ensure it was on Mary’s terms completely.

“Hey…you ok?” Fliss asked, rubbing his arm. He jerked round, realising he had been completely elsewhere and gave her a smile.

“Yeah, sorry, was just thinking.”

“Did it hurt?” Mary asked and Frank shot her a look as Fliss and Bill laughed as Mary left with the drink she had come in to the kitchen for.

Frank followed her into the living room as she perched on the large sofa next to Verity, the pair of them looking at something on the laptop.

“Behave.” Frank looked at Mary. “Go to bed when V and Bill tell you, no back chat or arguing…”

She saluted him and V looked up smiling. “Stop fussing Frank, she’s never any trouble.”

Frank nodded and then headed out to Bill’s Range Rover catching Fliss up.

“You do realise she’s gonna be up until midnight, pigging out on junk and watching movies right?” Fliss said as he reached her side, looping an arm round her waist.

“Yup.” Frank said “But she’s staying over there and not in the Annex, which means she’ll wake them up at stupid AM in the morning after no sleep and not us so I don’t much care…”

A little while later Frank guided her into Bongos Beach Bar and over to a booth at the far side. Fliss smiled as she recognised Greg, and Frank introduced her to his wife Zara, then his friend Jake and his fiancée Lisa. Finally she smiled at Simon who then excused himself heading off to meet his date at the door.

“Date?” Frank raised an eyebrow

“Yeah he’s been seeing her for about three weeks.” Zara supplied “He invited her tonight…”

“Huh, must be serious.” Frank mused and Jake looked at him.

“Could say the same about you.” He teased and Frank shoved him on the shoulder.

“Prick.”

Jake laughed and then raised his hand “They’re here now.”

Frank turned to see Simon making his way over towards them with a familiar brunette in tow.

Oh for fucks sake…

“Bonnie…” Fliss smiled at her as the woman stilled when she saw her and Frank.  

“You know each other?” Simon asked, frowning slightly.

“Yeah, errr…” Frank began, wondering how the hell he was going to get out of this when Fliss spoke up.

“Bonnie is, was, still is I suppose, Mary’s teacher.”

Bonnie shot her a grateful look and Fliss simply smiled as Simon made a noise of comprehension.

"I should have twigged!” Simon smiled, as they all took a seat at the booth. Zara handed out a few glasses of prosecco from the bottle that sat on the table to Bonnie and Fliss who both thanked her, the men grabbing a beer from the bucket.

“Thank you.” Frank whispered into Fliss’ ear as she turned to look at him. “I didn’t know he was seeing her, or that she was gonna be here, I promise…”

Fliss frowned and shrugged “It’s fine.” she said, almost as if she was puzzled as to why he was apologising. The confusion on his face must have shown as she smiled and lay her hand on his knee. “Frank, I don’t have a problem with Bonnie. I still think it was a stupid thing to do but…” she shrugged.

He smiled at her and dropped a kiss to her cheek. “You’re fucking amazing you know that?”

“Yep…” she popped the p, grinning at him as she took a drink from her champagne glass.

Fliss kept up with the conversation, but she soon realised that as nice as they were, Zara and Lisa were just not her type of people. With both their husbands having well paid jobs, as a lawyer and a bank manager, both were stay at home mums with a lot of money to spend and time on their hands. Plus they clearly spent a lot of time together so a lot of the chatter they made between themselves, leaving Fliss to simply listen.

At one point she glanced at Bonnie who was sat, nervously twisting her fingers together before she excused herself and headed over to the bathroom. Fliss gave it a few seconds before she too did the same, Frank moving so she could squeeze past him, hands falling to her hips as she went.

“Hey…” Fliss looked at Bonnie who was stood leaning on a sink. “You ok?”

“Yeah, I err, well, I don’t know about you but I feel a little out of place. I mean they’re nice enough but…“

"Kinda feels like we’re outsiders.” Fliss nodded finishing the sentence for her.

Bonnie snorted “I feel like they’re judging me a little. Like I’m a teacher…who has to work, and it’s not a great job…”

“Dude, I shovel shit for a living and Frank’s a grease monkey.” Fliss shot causing Bonnie to snort. “It’s not that at all, they’re just friends and we’re…well…”

 “Strangers…” Bonnie nodded.

“Exactly.” Fliss shrugged “Trust me, I’ve done the whole awkward social circle thing before, this…well, this is actually kinda nice in comparison. I met some real ass hats when I was with my ex. These guys are ok”

Bonnie smiled and then she grinned cheekily "Wanna go do tequila?”

“Fuck, yes.” Fliss nodded and they left the bathroom giggling, heading straight to the bar. Bonnie placed her order and slid a note over the bar as they both settled on a stool. Fliss glanced round to the booth where Frank was sat talking to the rest of his friends before she turned back to Bonnie who slid her a shot over. Without a word they both had their salt, downed the shot, then bit into the lemon, both grimacing and laughing as Fliss ordered another two and asked Bonnie what long drink she wanted. Turns out she was also a gin and tonic woman.

“I’m glad you and Frank ended up together.” Bonnie smiled at her. “It’s nice.”

“Thanks.” Fliss grinned. “Kinda crept up on me a little, you know? I wasn’t looking for anything but...”

“I’m glad me and him didn’t ruin it.” Bonnie said gently “That entire night was a huge mistake…I could tell the day after he regretted it.”

Fliss shrugged “Well we all do dumb shit.”

“Say that again.” Bonnie mumbled as their second shots arrived along with their gin.

“You know when he told me he’d told you it was a mistake I went mad at him.” Fliss snorted “I mean, talk about a shitty thing to say.”

“Oh that’s not the half of it, he-…” Bonnie trailed off and shook her head as she took a drink of her gin. “Forget it, doesn’t matter.”

“What?” Fliss pressed.

“Nope.” Bonnie shook her head firmly.

“You can’t just say that and not tell me!“ Fliss whined as Bonnie downed her shot, before she sighed

“He called me by your name, twice.”

Fliss choked on her gin, her eyes wide “What, when you…”

Bonnie nodded.

“Ok, so I feel like I should be apologising…” Fliss snorted, “Not sure what for but…” Bonnie chuckled as Fliss shook her head and continued “How did you not rip his cock off…I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m very glad you didn’t but…”

Bonnie laughed loudly as Fliss sprinkled more salt onto her hand “It’s not a big deal, he was mortified when I told him.”

“So he should be…” Fliss shook her head, as she picked up her tequila.

She turned to look at Frank who was now looking round the bar, questioningly. He spotted her at the bar and raised an eyebrow and she met him with a look of her own. “I’m dating an ass hole.” she said, turning back to Bonnie “He’s cute though.”

There was a pause before they both laughed, and Bonnie gestured to the empty glasses. Fliss shrugged and Bonnie, with a grin, ordered another 2 shots.

****

 “So, how’s the new job Frank?” Simon looked at him and Frank smiled, taking a pull from his bottle.

“I don’t start until January.” he swallowed his drink, “But yeah, looking forward to it. Full time wage, benefits…what’s not to like?”

“And a boss.” Greg said, and Frank laughed.

“Well, be kinda nice not to have to think about where the next job is coming from.” he shrugged, “I still get to do what I enjoy but less stress…”

Greg, Simon and Jake all exchanged a look which Frank didn’t miss. He gave a sigh. “What?”

“Nothing…”  Jake smirked “Just watching you finally growing up is bringing a tear to my eye. I mean, you brought a girl to our Christmas gathering, the first one ever…in the history of the Circle of Truth holding Christmas gatherings…”

“Yeah, I imagine this is what it’s like waving your kid off to university.” Simon nodded.

Frank raised his middle finger at them all, causing them to laugh.

“We’re only joking.” Simon winked at him. “In all seriousness, it’s nice to see.”

Frank shook his head “You make it sounds like I’m some kind of utter disaster case…”

They all paused and once again looked at each other. “Oh fuck you.” Frank snorted as they all laughed again.

Anyone seen the ladies?” Greg looiked around suddenly.

“Oh, I think Zara and Lisa are on the dance floor…” Jake nodded.

 Frank glanced round the bar, looking and saw that indeed they were but there was no sign of Fliss. Or Bonnie for that matter. Fliss had gone to the bathroom a while back but surely it couldn’t be that long to pee, even if you were a girl.

“Oh, looks like our girls are getting on…” Simon jerked his head to the bar. Frank turned in his seat and glanced over and saw Fliss laugh at something Bonnie said, before she licked a line of salt off her hand, downed the shot, and bit into the lemon. He couldn’t decide if he was relieved or a little weirded out at how cool Fliss was around the woman he’d almost ruined his chances with her over, but as he watched her cutting loose, talking to Bonnie, the two women locked in a very friendly exchange he felt his chest warm. Fliss had openly admitted to him not long back she was a little lonely, her own friends being in England and the ones she had in Boston, well, they’d not really been her friends, more his. He supposed it was nice to see her with someone like that, even if it as one of his one night conquests. As he watched Fliss spluttered on her drink and looked at Bonnie, another exchange was had before Fliss picked up her next tequila and looked at him. He raised a questioning eyebrow but all she did was smirk and turn back to Bonnie. With a slight shrug he turned to Simon.

“Wanna join em?”

Simon nodded “Yeah, why not.

They excused themselves from the booth and headed over. Fliss smiled as Frank slid an arm round her waist and dropped a kiss to her neck, before Simon grinned and nodded as he added another 2 tequilas to their order.

Several more shots and gins later Fliss was drunk. So was Frank. Which was the reason the two of them had ended up on the outside beach dancefloor, dancing to some random Christmas shit. It was also the reason Frank’s denim button down was now un-done revealing his white sleeveless which he had on underneath, giving Fliss a perfect view of that collar bone tattoo she loved so much. It hadn’t surprised her in the slightest when he had explained where the words were from, being a man of philosophy and all that. She also loved the reason behind his Taurus tattoo, it being Mary’s zodiac sign. Basically her sailor underneath all his bravado was a huge sentimental sap. A huge, sentimental sap whose hands were once again now cupping her ass as they swayed together to the music. Fliss had long given up reaching around to restore them to the bottom of her back and simply smirked to herself slightly as she looked round the dancefloor and out across the dark ocean

“Still not right.” she murmured.

“What?”

“This…” she made an elaborate gesture with her arm and hit a guy next to her. “Whoops…sorry.” she grimaced as Frank snorted, the guy simply shrugged and carried on his way. “I mean…no snow at Christmas…”

“Yeah but, you’re outside, on a Christmas dancefloor, on the beach” he shrugged “I mean it’s kinda cool…”

“Suppose…” she shrugged, and then she paused, and Frank watched as a gorgeous grin spread across her face whilst she cocked her head to the music. It had just morphed into Fairy Tale of New York and she let out a whoop “I fucking love this one!”

There was a loud cheer from someone and suddenly the two of them were squashed together as Simon and Bonnie appeared, followed by the rest of the group and they found themselves in a circle,  arms tangled around shoulders, the girls singing the girls part and the boys singing the boys part. At one point someone dressed as Santa muscled into the middle of the group, simply giving a loud cheer before he exited and moved elsewhere, causing Fliss to snort hysterically, hanging onto Frank’s arm as she did. As the song ended, everyone belting out the last line the group descended into giggles and Frank just watched his girl. Her cheeks were flushed, hair was slightly frizzier now thanks to the humid outdoor air and she was absolutely the wrong side of wasted but god did he love that woman.

Oh.

He loved her.

Frank Adler, one time self-proclaimed bachelor, king of the Friday night fucks was in love. When did that happen?

As he watched her lean in and say something to Greg who burst out laughing he realised he couldn’t pin point it. It had crept up on him, like a slow burn, a deep fire in the very core of his belly. And damned did that fire feel hot.

Frank reached for his girl and pulled her away from Greg. She stumbled slightly into his arms and she looked up at him, giggling a little and he cut her off with a deep kiss. And before he could stop himself, he blurted it out, right there in the middle of a temporary beach dancefloor

“I love you.”

 If anyone else in the group had heard they were tactful enough to all turn away, pretending not to, but there’s no way they could have missed Fliss when she pulled back, a look of shock on her face which morphed into a grin and she pointed at Frank

“Youuuu loooooveeee meeee!” she sang and Frank felt himself blush.

“Yeah, do you hafta announce it to the entire of South Pass?” his Boston accent dripped off his tongue.

“Youuuu loooooooveeee meeee!” she said again and he groaned, pulling her closer. She leaned up so she could whisper into his ear, and damned the touch of her lips against his ear aroused him far more than was appropriate for the middle of a public dance floor.

“Wanna know a secret Sailor?” she asked. He turned his head to look at her and she smirked at him “I love you too.”

Well fuck.

Despite the fact they were both trashed, they both knew this wasn’t just a heat of the moment thing. Both felt it, both knew that whatever it was they had was different, special, a part of them now and Frank felt himself mimicking the stupid smile on her face. He leaned down to kiss her again, and her hands tangled into his hair, the feel of her delicate nails on his scalp sent hot pokers to his belly and his already half growing arousal was, well, aroused even more.

“And that’s even though you’re an asshole who calls someone else’s name during sex.” she pulled away. With a groan Frank hung his head as her arms linked around his neck, his hands locking behind her back.

“You know about that?” He asked with a little hiccup. “She told you?”

“Yup.” Fliss narrowed her eyes “And FYI you do that to me I’ll cut your balls off and feed them to Thor.”

“Harsh but fair.” Frank conceded after a short pause.  She grinned and leaned up to kiss him again before she pulled away.

“Can we go now ‘cause I’m kinda horny.”

Ok, so Drunk Fliss was another Fliss to add to his list of favourite Flisses. Along with Sassy, shy, stern, sleepy, just fucked, just woken up…basically all the Flisses

“Nope.” He teased “I’m good here.”

“Really?” She asked, pressing closer to him, tilting a little and he grunted as her hip bone pressed into his groin “Sure about that?”

“Yup.” He managed to squeak out.

“That must be a spanner in your pocket then. Or a screwdriver, or some other form of pointy tool…” She was hardly able to finish the sentence she was laughing that much.

“Yeah, those…damned pointy tools…” He shook his head as he leaned down to kiss her. It was sloppy, open mouthed, full of tongue and absolutely filthy and left the pair of them in a bit of a daze. Frank pulled away and looked around, taking a deep breath “Ok, we can go now.”

Somehow they made it home in one piece. It took Fliss three attempts to get the key in the lock, the pair of them giggling like a couple of school kids, before she finally managed it and Frank leaned over and pushed the door open. Fliss stumbled slightly and Frank caught her, laughing.

“Shhh” He said.

“What for?” She asked, kicking off her shoes.

He paused for a moment and then shrugged “Actually I don’t know…”

“Idiot…” She sniggered, pushing his undone shirt down his arms before pulling at the bottom of his sleeveless underneath. He moved so she could pull it over his head and as her fingers started to undo the button at the top of his jeans he reached round and gently found the zipper on her jumpsuit, sliding it down, his fingers gently skimming her back as they backed to the couch. Fliss fell over the arm with a thud, Frank following, before the momentum tripped him and he rolled onto the floor, pulling her with him, landing with a thud on his back. She fell on top of him, her elbow catching him in the ribs and he gave a loud huff, before she laughed and leaned over kissing him. His hands tangled into her hair, keeping her head angled perfectly, the kiss searing, leaving them breathless. Fliss pulled back and he brushed her hair back with both his hands, smiling softly at her.

“I meant what I said you know.” He looked at her

“Remind me again what that was.” She teased.

“I…” he leaned up and pecked her lips “love…” another peck “you.”

“Tell me when you’re sober.” she sassed back and gave a squeal as he whipped her over so she was on her back on the rug by the coffee table, framed between his strong arms and legs.

“In vino veritas.” He quipped and she propped herself up on her elbows, the front of her jumpsuit fell forward slightly and Frank blatantly stole a look down it at her lacy strapless bra, giving a groan.

 “Yeah, and in vino a load of non-sensitas too…” She grinned and he gave a snort, as he dipped his head.

“Shut up.” he mumbled, his lips pressing onto hers again.

 *****

 Frank groaned, blinking against the light that was streaming in through the crack in the curtains. Jesus Christ his head hurt. Rolling over he was met with a face full of hair and he blew it out of the way, smoothing down Fliss’s wild locks which were splayed all over the pillow. Gently sliding an arm under her neck he dropped the other one round her bare waist and pulled her into him, her back pressing to his chest as he snuggled close, screwing his eyes closed against the painful daylight.

“What year is it?” Fliss groaned and Frank chuckled slightly.

“Feeling rough, baby?”

“Rough?” She croaked “I feel like I have a smurf in my head with a pick axe. This is all your fault.”

“My fault?“

“Yes you let me drink tequila with Bonnie.”

“Ok, first off I didn’t know you were doing that until I saw you at the bar…”

“Yeah, and then you and Simon joined in…

“…and second off, you’re a grown ass woman. You make your own decisions.”

She groaned again and then stilled “Fuck, we had sex last night…”

“Wow.” Frank laughed. “Way to ruin my pride, Sweetheart…”

“No I mean…” she shuffled onto her back and looked at him. “Did we…use…“

Franks eyes went wide. "Oh, erm…”

No, no they hadn’t… fuck, fuck, fuck.

“I mean, come on, surely, we’ll be fine right?” he asked, “I mean, one time…what are the chances of…”

“No, it’s not that I’m worried about.” she shook her head “I’m on the pill…I just..” she trailed of

Frank propped himself up on his elbow as he cottoned on to what she was saying “Are you being serious?” he snorted.

“Well I don’t know where you’ve been!” she shrugged indignantly “well, ok, maybe I know some of where you’ve been, but…”

Frank snorted and shook his head “What do you take me for?”

“An ex ho?” she shot back immediately.

He fell onto his back laughing “If you must know I’ve never had unprotected sex with a one night stand in my life. And the other week I went and got tested, just for you. And I’m clean so…”

“That’s so romantic. ” she grinned at him.

“Well I try.” he raised an eyebrow.

“Still love me?” she quipped and he turned his head to look at her.

“Fraid so.”

“Too bad.” she teased, shuffling over to him “Coz that means you’re stuck with me…”

“Oh no…” he said sarcastically as he turned onto his side, glancing down at her bare breasts “How will I ever cope?”

“Sure you’ll think of a way.” she arched an eyebrow before she suddenly went green. “Oh shit…” she mumbled, before she shot out of the bed and into the bathroom.

Frank listened to her barfing and snorted a laugh before he swung himself out of bed, glad to find his boxers on the floor by his feet. Although where the rest of his clothes where he had no idea. He knocked on the bathroom door.

“You ok?”

He heard the toilet flush and she emerged, wrapped in a robe and looked at him. “I’m never drinking tequila again. Ever.”

Frank had to hand it to his girl, despite her raging hangover she still managed to teach four classes of kids that day, and made it through to nine that evening before she completely crashed on the sofa, falling asleep as the three of them sat in the apartment living room watching The Grinch, Mary’s choice. As the film finished at little after ten, Mary, who was lounging on Frank’s lap looked over to where Fliss lay, her head resting on the other arm of the couch, her feet nestled under his thigh, and nudged Frank.

“I know.” He smiled softly “Leave her be.”

Mary grinned and reached up to run her hand through his beard “you love Fliss.”

He looked at her for a second, eyebrow raised “What makes you say that?”

 “Roberta.” she shrugged.

Frank snorted. “Well, she’s not wrong.”

“Did you tell her yet?” Mary looked at him.

“Yeah.”

“What did she say?”

“That she loves me too.”

Mary grinned “Lissy and Frank, sitting in a tree…”

He rolled his eyes as she chanted off the rest of the ridiculous rhyme and then looked at her. “You finished?”

“Yup.”

“Good, bed time.”

“Awww Frank….”

“No arguments. Bill told me what time you stayed up till last night.”

“Grass.” she narrowed her eyes.

“Yeah, you better believe it. Go on, wash your face, clean your teeth.”

“Shower?”

“Quit stalling Stack you had one when you got back from the stables…”

With a groan she pushed herself off his knee and he stood up as she headed into the bathroom. He pulled a fresh pair of pyjamas out of the clean pile of laundry he needed to sort that was on the chair at the back of the room and lay them on his bed before he moved over and knelt down by Fliss’ head.

“Honey,” he said gently, pushing her hair back off her face, “Lissy…“

She made a noise as she wrinkled her nose, and he smiled as she blinked and looked at him.

“Oh, shit. Sorry…” she yawned as she realised she’d fallen asleep. “What time is it?“

“Not too late.” He smiled “Just about to put Mary to bed. You staying here or…”

“Yeah if that’s okay?”

“Course it is.” he smiled and dropped a kiss to her lips before she sat up running her hand through her hair as she blinked, yawning again.

“Fuck I’m so tired.” She stood up, stretched and then smiled as Mary came back into the room. The girl shot Frank a filthy look and stalked past him into his room. “Ok, wow…”

“She doesn’t want to go to bed.” he shrugged, “moody little madam.”

Fliss laughed as she headed into the bathroom. Frank sat down on the sofa and a little while later, Mary emerged and shot straight for her bed.

“Can I at least read?” she looked at him.

“Ten minutes, tops, whilst I do the dishes…”

She grinned and he turned off the TV and headed into the kitchen, clearing away the remains of their takeaway, stowing the left overs in the fridge for lunch the day after.

In the bathroom Fliss was busy groaning to herself as she realised she’d come on. She knew she was due, but still, this was a pain in the ass. Sorting herself out, she washed her hands and walked into the kitchen. Frank looked up and raised his eyebrow, misinterpreting the look on her face.

“You been sick again?” he asked.

“No… ” She shook her head as she bit her lip. “Look, Frankie, I think I’m go home…”

“Why?” He frowned.

“I errr…” She flushed “I forgot…I…” she trailed off and his frown deepened as her hand moved instinctively to her stomach before a look of realisation crossed his features.

“Oh…” He nodded. “Well, ok, if you’re more comfortable going home then that’s up to you.” He dropped a kiss to her head and she looked at him, confusion flooding her brain.

“You don’t want me to go?”

“Why would I want you to go?” he frowned.

“Because…” she looked at him, unable to voice what she was getting at. Another memory flooded her mind, one of John screaming at her for the sheets being marked, she was jerked back to the here and now as Frank closed the distance between them, tipping her head up to look at him.

“Lissy, talk to me…”

“Sorry, I err…” she rubbed at her head “He used to make me sleep in a separate room.”

“Are you for real?” Frank blurted out, and she could see the anger flooding his system. “Seriously?”

She visibly recoiled a little at his tone and Frank cursed himself as she looked at him, eyes wide as she began to apologise.

 “Hey.” He said gently, reaching out to her. “Stop. You’ve nothing to be sorry for I shouldn’t have shouted I just….” He took a deep breath.

“That’s fucked up.”

She looked back up at him, her eyes now had a fierce spark. “You think that’s fucked up? When he was trying to get me pregnant, every month he’d stop me taking pain killers when I came on. Told me it was my own fault for not managing to conceive.”

“Jesus Liss…” Frank shook his head, as she shrugged, her head turning to the side. “Baby…”

“Don’t” she shrugged “I don’t wanna talk about it anymore.”

“Ok.” he nodded. “Look. If you wanna stay then it’s up to you. Whatever you wanna do.”

“I do.” She nodded, smiling softly.

“Good.” He dropped a kiss to her forehead before he moved away from her and reached over, filling the kettle.

“What are you doing?” She asked from behind him.

“Making you a tea.” He shrugged “Used to help Diane…”

“Thanks…” she smiled after a short pause.

“You got everything you need or you need to go the store?”

“I’m good. Ex Girl Scout, always prepared…”

Frank gave a laugh.

“Think I might take another shower though, if that’s…”

“You don’t need to ask.” He looked at her. “You’re my girlfried. I want you to feel like you’re at home when you’re here.”

At that she gave him a soft smile as she moved over and wrapped her arms round his waist, nuzzling into his chest. He gently rubbed at her back, before she leaned up, kissed him and headed out. The kettle boiled and he leaned on the side, dropping his head slightly. What kind of fucked up asshole did that to his own wife? To a wife he was supposed to love and protect no less. It broke his heart to think anyone could be so callous, so mentally and physically abusive to someone so soft, so gentle, so damned amazing….he looked up as he saw her making her way into the bathroom, bag in hand and she smiled at him, shutting the door.

Once he’d made them both a hot drink and grabbed the Advil, he made his way through to his room, placing one mug on the bedside table on the side he slept on and then another on the sill behind Fliss’ side and leaned on the doorframe, looking at Mary. She was still reading.

“Please just the end of this chapter.” she held up the Harry Potter book. Frank took a deep breath, then decided fuck it. She’d fall asleep at some point, there was no school.

“Lights off after that. I’ll be out to check.” he instructed as he dropped a kiss to her head. “Night Stack.”

“Night Frank.”

Back in his room he stripped off, tossing his t-shirt into the hamper before folding his jeans and dropping them on his dresser. He settled on the bed, stretching his legs out as he kicked the duvet down and flicked on the small TV, flipping through the channels looking for something to watch. Grinning when he found an episode of Family Guy, he turned the volume down low and had been watching for about five minutes when he heard Fliss talking to Mary who mentioned something about the book before he heard her bid her good night, and as Fliss opened the door he saw Mary’s light flip off.

He smiled at his girl who had her hair pulled back in a braid and was dressed in a pair of bed shorts and a tight camisole type top, her shoulders bare, long legs stretched as she dropped onto the bed besides him.

“You okay?” he asked, dropping a kiss to her shoulder as she reached round for the drink. She paused as she saw the Advil and then picked it up, smiling at him as she turned to face him.

“Yeah.” she assured him as he kissed the bridge of her nose. She tossed down two pain killers and sipped her drink, her legs bent in front of her as they sat in a comfortable silence, watching the TV, both laughing softly at the show. Eventually she placed the mug down and snuggled closer to him. He reached down for the duvet and pulled it up round their legs as her head lay on his chest, his arm falling round her, fingers lightly brushing down the back of her neck, shoulder and then up again. It was an action he knew she found comforting, and he was proven right as little over fifteen minutes later he looked down to find her fast asleep.

With a soft smile he turned off the TV and gently moved her so that they were both lay flat and she gave a soft hum of contentment and snuggled into him closer. With a yawn he pressed a kiss to her head and closed his eyes.

The rest of the two weeks remaining to Christmas was spent in a whirl of tree-decorating, paper-chain making, shopping and eating more crap than Fliss had thought humanly possible. Steve and his wife Sian arrived on the 22nd and Verity cooked a huge family dinner where Mary was introduced to their twin boys. Frank watched her with interest, they were both her age and he was pleasantly surprised to see she actually seemed to mingle with them quite well. Steve was also noticeably warmer towards him too, which was a relief, and Frank was more than happy to take him out for a beer with Bill one evening whilst the women stayed at home and wrapped presents whilst drinking copious amounts of champagne. A Gallagher tradition Frank was informed, a tradition he eagerly told Bill he could fully get on board with, especially when Fliss had offered to wrap Mary’s presents as well.

 By the time Christmas Eve rolled round Frank noticed that Fliss was ridiculously excited and was happy to admit it was because she was looking forward to spending it with him and her family. When Verity had invited him to join them for Christmas dinner he’d been reticent to accept at first, not because he didn’t want to, but because he didn’t want to put her out. When she’d told him she’d be more offended if he refused he’d relented and made the mistake of telling Mary who hadn’t let the subject drop for the last two weeks. Fliss joined them in their traditional Christmas Eve celebration with Roberta, where they exchanged gifts, Roberta made up with the chunky silver bangle Fliss had spotted in a shop and the photo frame which Mary had made one evening with Bill by glue-gunning sea shells onto a plain wooden one she had gotten from Target. Once they were done, they packed Fliss’ jeep up and headed off to the annex. After watching “Elf” in the cinema room with the rest of the family,  wearing her new Christmas Pyjamas (another Gallagher tradition that all the kids in the family got new ones to sleep in on Christmas Eve)  they three of them headed back over to the annex and Mary shot up to bed with no fuss at all, leaving Frank and Fliss to enjoy the rest of their evening which they spent making out like a pair of horny teenagers on the couch until they’d ended up fucking like a pair of horny teenagers on the couch too.

Christmas morning Fliss cracked open an eye and grinned as she sat up, listening to Mary who was calling from the spare room, before she started to sing We Wish You A Merry Christmas, which was punctuated by barks from Thor. Besides her Frank gave a groan and she nudged him.

“Wake up scrooge.”

“Fuck off.” he mumbled.

She laughed and nudged him again before she climbed out of bed, wearing his T-shirt and pulled a pair of denim shorts on “I reckon you got about two minutes before Mary barrels through the door…”

"Fucking Christmas…” Frank scoffed, but Fliss caught the smile on his face as he swung his legs out of bed and stretched, the muscles on his back rippling as he did so. Standing up Fliss watched as he moved, his ass looking pretty damned fine in his boxers as he headed to the bathroom, banging on the spare room door as he did. Fliss heard it fly open and a few minutes later Mary came shooting into her room and bounced on the bed, a half-eaten chocolate Santa in her hand which she had unwrapped from her Stocking. Thor followed, taking up position on the foot of the bed and Fliss hugged Mary, grinning. She loved Christmas, she always had done as a kid. Granted, it hadn’t always been fun with he-who-shall-not-be-named, but the last two since leaving him she’d gotten that childish excitement back, and today was no exception.

“So, I just stand here do I?” Frank asked as he leaned on the doorway, gesturing to the now full bed. Fliss grinned at him and shrugged.

“We’re not staying here.” Mary looked at him “We got presents to open downstairs…”

“Hmmm not sure we do.” Frank teased as he pulled a shirt from his bag in the corner of the room “I mean, does Santa know you’re here and not at the apartment?”

Mary rolled her eyes “I haven’t believed in Santa since I was five, Frank.”

“What?” Fliss looked horrified “I still believe and I’m like thirty three!” Mary gave her a scathing look. Fliss shrugged. “What can I say, I believe in Christmas magic”

“I did…” Mary shrugged “Until he didn’t bring me a puppy.”

“He doesn’t do live animals.” Fliss reasoned.

“Or a piano.”

“Too big to fit on the sleigh.”

“Or an algebra book I wanted.”

“Yeah, why the hell would he bring you maths books?” Fliss snorted “That’s school work.”

“I like it. "she shrugged, before she shoved the rest of her chocolate in her mouth and jumped up, bouncing on the bed. "Come on! Get up!”

Thor looked up giving a huff as Frank told her to stop bouncing. She flopped down and looked at him, folding her arms and Fliss laughed.

“Ok, let’s go!”

The two of them raced down the stairs, Frank following as Mary burst into the living room to see her presents piled by the sofa, and her eyes immediately went to the large wooden box which wasn’t wrapped that had her name painted on the side, and a large painted white pony on the top, resembling Monty. She moved to it and opened it, giving a squeal as she began to pull out the various grooming products that Fliss had bought her to make her own little pony box.  As Mary began to hastily rip the wrapping paper off the rest of the pile of gifts, Frank moved to the tree and pulled out two boxes. One large, one small.

“Merry Christmas baby girl.” he said, dropping a kiss to Fliss mouth. She grinned and sat down on the couch, opening the little box first. Inside was a silver necklace a pendant in the shape of a Daisy which Fliss beamed at.

“I love daisies!” she smiled at him “They remind me of home.”

“I know.” he smiled as she looked at it again before she moved to the next box. This was the one Frank was excited about. They’d cost him a small fortune but, turns out when you don’t spend every Friday night in Ferg’s you actually saved a fair bit of dough. Who knew?

“Oh my God…” she whispered as she cleared the paper away from the contents and glanced down at the tan Cowboy boots. She took a deep breath as she picked one out of the box to examine the detailing on the leather before her eyes widened as she saw her name ‘Lissy’ stitched on the top.

“Do you like them?” he asked softly, although he could tell from her reaction that was a stupid question.

“Frankie…” she looked at him with tears in her eyes, God this man really did listen to every damned word she said.  “I can’t…” she leaned over and gave him a kiss. “Thank you…”

He smiled as she slipped them on and stood up, giving Mary a twirl. There was something about her wearing them along with denim shorts that Frank wasn’t ashamed to admit he found a little arousing.

Frank laughed when he got his presents from Fliss, a new Paul Smith shirt, a Red Sox Cap and a new Samsung Smartphone as she informed him his Nokia had gone out of fashion in 2009. Which was before Mary was born, she pointed out. But it was the gifts they both got from Mary that surprised and reduced them to tears of laughter.

Fliss held up the cowboy hat, grinning from ear to ear as she slipped it on whilst Frank held the white Navy Captain’s hat up and shook his head. “Where on Earth did you get these?” he asked, laughing.

“Bill helped me.” Mary shrugged, looking up from where she was now jamming a pink Ariat baseball cap which she had just unwrapped on her head.

“Remind me to thank him later!” Frank rolled his eyes as Fliss snatched the hat from him and stuck it on his head.

“Mary, get in…” she patted Frank’s knee and Mary hopped up, as Fliss held her phone away from them, snapping a selfie of the three of them. Frank watched her as she smiled, inspecting it and he had to admit it was a pretty good snap. All of them were smiling, all wearing some form of head gear, and for the first time in as long time he realised he was enjoying Christmas morning because HE was having a good time, not just Mary. To him it normally meant a fuck load of expense and the fact another year was rapidly drawing to a close. But he was more than happy to draw a close on 2017. Not simply to shut the door on a mentally draining court fight, but also because he was looking forward to the future. He was starting a new job, would be in the market for a new home and moving through all of those changes with his girl by his side excited him instead of filling him with dread.

As Mary slid off his knee to examine another present he turned to Fliss who grinned, knocking his hat off his head.

“Merry Christmas cowgirl.” he grinned,

She smiled, leaning over to kiss him “Merry Christmas Sailor!”

**** One Shot- Whamaggeddon Chapter 13

[kurt-nightcrawler]

Together Again

John Allerdyce x Female Reader

Request: Hi! I love your your writing (especially the mother nature ones and crush honestly,,,,, art lmao) and I was wondering if you could write something else for John? Like honestly anything I'm just really starved for pyro content 😂 if you don't want to then uh dw 💜

A/N: if you guys want a blurb about wedding vows or baby making sex let me know!!

Warnings: teen pregnancy, swearing, mentions of sex, and some angst.

Word Count: 8.9k

“Hey, I know it’s been a while, but I miss you… and I know I shouldn’t… but I can’t help myself. I’m really sorry for everything I did. I hurt you, I acted out, I ruined all the relationships I had at the mansion…” His voice faltered as tears fell from his eyes.

“Um, you don’t have to call me back… I’m just really sorry for being such an asshole… You deserved better…” 

You jokingly scoffed to yourself.

Typical John, You mused. Never realizing his potential. 

“I love you…” 

The voice message ended. You felt your eyes watering. Despite it all, you missed him. You missed John so much. 

-

He joined Magento’s army, brotherhood, and left you. You didn’t want to side with either of them, Charles or Erik. 

You wanted to run away somewhere, live a small-town life, maybe in Europe or something. You hadn’t really figured out all the details, but you assumed that figuring it out as you went along would suffice. As long as you had John by your side, nothing could get in your way. 

But then he wasn’t by your side. And your entire world came crashing down. 

-

You had woken up to an empty bed. Unusual, since John was in it with you the night before. 

His clothes were gone, and it felt like he had never been there to start with. 

You got yourself out of bed, not even bothering to change out of your pajamas. You wanted to know where he went. 

You made it downstairs to the den, where your friends were seated with some staff members. 

“Ah, (Y/N),” Xavier said. “You’re awake. Please sit down.” 

You sat down on the couch next to Kitty. “What’s going on? Where’s John?” 

“Allerdyce left,” Logan stated with a bitter tone. 

“Left? What do you mean he left?” 

“Magento is forming a new brotherhood of mutants, and he’s planning to attack Worthington industries.” 

“Is this about the “cure”?” You asked. 

Xavier nodded, “John left to join him.” 

No… You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. “That can’t be true. He wouldn’t just leave and not tell anyone. He would have told me if he was thinking about joining forces with Magento!” 

“(Y/N),” You looked over at Bobby, “We had an argument in our room late last night. I tried to convince him to stay but—“

“No…” You were shaking. “You’re— you’re lying!” You stood up too quickly and you got a head rush. 

“I wish I was—“ 

You felt like you were going to be sick. You could hear the blood pounding in your ears. Your vision was blurry, and you were sweating. 

You ran to the nearest trash can and dunked your head in as you heaved. 

Kitty held your hair back and rubbed your back. “Let it out. Let it out, (Y/N)...” 

You puked your guts out until you didn’t have the energy to continue. Then, you turned over, moving your head out of the trash and started crying. 

No one knew what to do about you— and Magneto trying to kill a bunch of people was a bit more of a pressing issue. 

-

You didn’t want to go to Worthington industries and fight. You didn’t want to see him. You wanted to be left alone. 

Plus, with your mutation, the X-Men thought you’d be a good guard for the mansion if anything happened. 

It was a few days before anyone came back, and while they were gone you caught a stomach bug. Constantly vomiting, bad cramps, and your chest was extremely sore. 

You didn’t know what to do about it, so you kept a trash can nearby and drank lots of water and took some ibuprofen. 

When everyone returned, Bobby, Kitty, and Rogue, all ran to hug you, knowing you’d need it. 

“I punched him for you,” Bobby whispered. You held him tighter and let silent tears rain down your face as you hugged him. 

The three of them told you about the battle, and what happened to everyone, and a new addition to the team— Scott’s younger brother, Alex Summers, who had apparently been friends with one of the brotherhood members, but decided to switch sides and support his brother. 

He was in the medical bay downstairs with everyone else, getting checked out. 

“What have you been up to?” 

You let out a weak laugh, “Nothing much. I’ve been watching tv and puking my guts out the past few days…” 

Your friends nodded in sympathy. “You’re probably sick from all the stress…” Rogue commented. 

“Yeah, that’s probably it. When it’s a good time, I’ll ask Dr. Grey to give me some medicine other than pain killers.” 

“Good idea…” 

“I’m gonna go shower,” Rogue said, getting up from the couch. 

“Me too! Kitty replied. “Are you going to change Bobby?” 

He looked over at her, “Uh, yeah. I will in a little bit.” The girls walked off, satisfied with his answer. 

You patted Bobby’s shoulder. 

“I’m sorry I couldn’t talk him out of leaving…”

“He’s… He’s stubborn. I don’t think any of us could have convinced him to stay…”

“(Y/N)...” Bobby sighed.

“He never told me about even wanting to leave!” Your words stung in the air like venom. 

“He’s not coming back, is he?” 

Bobby shook his head, “I don’t think so. After the fight, the brotherhood just kind of wandered off… We have no idea where any of them went—“

“And that includes John…”

There was a pregnant pause before Bobby spoke up. 

“He really loves you.” 

“Not enough to stay,” You scoffed. 

“He just didn’t want you to get hurt… And while he’s dumb as shit, deep down, he meant well…”

“It’s just…” You snuffled your nose. “Three years, B. We were together for three years. He confided in me, and we trusted each other and we were gonna move out to the countryside in France or maybe Denmark…” Your cries interrupted your words, and all Bobby could do was hug you. Trying his best to comfort you. 

-

You weren’t sick with a stomach bug from stress— you were pregnant. 

It was simultaneously the best and worst news of your life. Everyone was supportive and kept reminding you, you didn’t have to keep it, you were only 18. 

You weren’t sure what you were going to do. John wasn’t there and you had almost no money. 

You didn’t want to raise a child alone, but you didn’t want to send them into foster care either. 

It was a messy situation, and with each week passing by, your baby grew, reminding you to make a decision. 

“I’m going to keep it. I’m going to stay here and raise my baby. It’ll probably be a mutant, so what better place for a mutant child to grow up?” 

-

Everyone was excited for you and your baby.  Kitty was excited to “be an aunt”, Rogue was excited, ablet a little nervous, with her no-touch rule, and Bobby just wanted you to be happy. 

You found out you were having a boy, and you were so excited, you cried. Jean and Ororo threw a baby shower for you and Bobby, Logan, and Scott helped redo your room so it could function for the baby too. 

Everything was going great. So great, in fact, you didn’t think about him most nights. 

You still longed for John, and you wanted him there with you, to see your baby at the ultrasound screenings, feel him kick for the first time, and decide on names. But you had to remain strong. With or without John, you needed to be a good mom for your son. 

Before and after his birth. 

-

No one was allowed on the roof normally, but you were especially not allowed in your condition. 

Yet you went up there anyway, for a moment of quiet and alone time. 

You had snuck up to the roof before in your 4 years at Xavier’s. Most times it had been to hide with John. Or just lay and star gaze— your head resting on his chest, and his hands either preoccupied with his flames, or they’d be in your hair. 

You placed a hand on your stomach, thinking it would maybe soothe you, but it didn’t really work. 

You heard footsteps, and you quickly looked over to see who it was. 

“Sorry— I uh, I didn’t think anyone was up here.” He started to leave. 

“Alex, no, you’re fine. You can stay.” 

“You sure?” 

“Yeah! Of course.” He walked over and sat next to you. 

“How’ve you been?” 

“Good, good.” He nodded. “How have you been?”

“Same as you…” You both awkwardly laughed together. 

“That’s good.”

“Mmhmm…”

Alex shifted in his spot awkwardly. 

“Are you uh… are you excited about being a mom?”

You laughed. He was so nervous. “Yeah. I mean, I’m nervous as hell, but I have all my friends around, more than willing to help me, and my life is secure and safe.” 

Alex nodded, shy and awkward, yet attentive. 

“Is… Is Bobby excited about being a dad?” 

You were shocked. “Bobby’s gay.” 

“I know, but wait— isn’t he— is he—“ Alex was so confused. 

“Bobby’s probably my best friend here, his old roommate, um, he’s the father…” 

Alex’s face was red as a tomato. “Oh…” 

He knew about Bobby’s old roommate, seeing as he took over his spot in his room. He didn’t know much, and he was pretty sure he died or something. 

“I’m sorry…”

“It’s fine. You didn’t know…”

“Did he… did he die?”

You rubbed your eyes. “No… he left to join the brotherhood, days before I found out I was pregnant…” Alex listened to your every word. He still didn’t know who this guy was, considering he too, joined the brotherhood during the battle at Worthington industries, but so did a ton of other mutants. 

“I don’t really know how to contact him now, and… I don’t really want to at the moment.” 

“You don’t have to…” Alex said.  “He left, and that’s his problem.” 

“Yep… And besides, I’m not alone. I have my friends and family here.” 

“Yeah, see! You’re doing great.” 

You laughed at Alex’s words. He was cute and dorky. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.”

-

You were crying. Crying in pain, in joy, in sorrow, in relief— you were extremely emotional. Your baby was finally born. 

Once he got all cleaned up, umbilical cord cut, and was in your arms, laying on your bare chest for some bonding, people started coming in. 

At first, it was just Bobby, Kitty, Rogue, and Alex. They had some flowers, balloons, and presents with them. 

“We got you some things…” Rogue began.

“Awww... how are you guys?” Kitty interrupted. 

“We’re fine. He’s asleep.” You glanced down at your chest. 

“He’s so small.” Alex’s eyes were glossy. 

“He’s all pink,” Bobby observed. 

Kitty hit him on the arm, “He just came out of her vagina!” 

You laughed, “He was a C-section.” 

“Oh, I was a tumor baby.” Everyone looked at Bobby like he grew a second head. “What?” 

Rogue rolled her eyes, “Anyway, we all got you a card and some gifts.” She set them down on the ledge near the visiting chairs and window. 

“You guys didn’t have to do that.” 

“Most of them are for the little guy,” Alex said. 

“Still! He’s gonna be so spoiled…” 

Your nurse walked in after you said that. “Alright mama, we gotta get him weighed and everything. Just get stuff for the birth certificate…” She set papers down on your table tray. “If you’re up for it, you can fill stuff out now, or have someone else do it for you… We’ll be back in a little bit.” 

“Aww, bye…” Your friends cooed at your son. 

You rolled your eyes, smiling. “He’ll be in the nursery, and you can go see him in a little bit. Then if he’s fine, he’ll be back here with me and you guys can hold him.” 

“We can’t stay in here forever. This room is too small, plus Scott and his posse wanna come say hi.” 

“Right, right.” You took a sip from your water bottle the hospital gave you and looked at the birth certificate and other papers with it. 

“So… What’s his name?”

“I don’t know…” You admitted. You hadn’t really thought of a name. 

Well, you had, but it was kind of stupid. 

You wanted to name him after John, his father because he was one of the few things you had left of John. You also wanted to name him after Bobby or Alex, because they’d been some of your best friends and there for you during your pregnancy. 

“Well, you have sixty days to think about it.” Bobby reminded you. 

“Yeah,” You yawned. “Oh boy… Sorry— Sorry, I just—“

“Nonsense. You gave birth like what maybe an hour or two ago? Take a nap. You deserve it,” Kitty told you. 

“Yeah, we’ll go down to the nursery and see if we can spot him.” 

“Okay, you guys sure?”

“Yes, mom,” Alex teased. “We’re sure.”

“Okay, okay.” 

“We’ll be back.” 

Once the four shuffled out of your room, you quickly examined the birth certificate. 

You took a pen and wrote down your name, John’s, and the perfect name for your son. 

-

“Johnathan-Robert Alexander (Y/L/N)! Get back here!” Rogue scolded. 

“Sorry Marie, I just saw a cool bird, and it flew away…”

She ruffled his hair, “Your mom is gonna be mad if we don’t eat lunch. I let you play outside for an extra twenty minutes.”

“Oh, okay…” 

It had been six years since your son was born. You named him after his dad and your two best guy friends. His nickname was Jr, or Junior, because of his initials. 

He took after you mostly, except he had John’s eyes and mutation. 

You and your friends all became X-Men and teachers at the mansion, and they all pitched in to help raise Junior, despite you telling them over and over again that they didn’t have to. 

It wasn’t easy. You were a young mom— there were some pity looks at the grocery store, people asking if Junior was your little brother, you had no biological family around, despite the X-Men making up for it, and you were single. 

Not the end of the world, but sometimes, late at night, you thought about John. 

You know he did what he thought was right, somehow. You just wish he didn’t leave. Keeping you safe, what bullshit. 

Sometimes you resented him and you were glad he was gone. Sometimes you cried and wished he was there with you. 

He would have been a great dad. Nervous, and a little unsure at times, sure, but you know he’d love Junior and do anything for him. 

You were grading papers when your phone rang. 

You didn’t recognize the number, and you had no idea who’d be calling you at noon in the middle of the week.  

It stopped ringing and you didn’t look at it again for the rest of the hour. 

You glanced over at your phone as you took a bite from your salad. The caller left a message in your voice box, which was weird since spam calls usually don’t do that. 

Maybe it was someone with the wrong number, thinking you were a lost loved one. 

Oh god! I better listen to the message!

You picked up your phone and went to your messages. 

Your finger didn’t even hover over and hesitate when it hit the play button. 

-

You were crying. Six years later. Six years later, and he finally reached out. 

You didn’t know what to do. 

What did he want?

You rubbed your temple. What if he’d been in trouble with some bad people? What if he was dying?

You quickly selected his number on your screen. 

“Would you like to call? Yes or no?” 

Your thumb hovered over yes. 

Why didn’t you just push it? What were you so afraid of?

“God…” You groaned. “What am I doing?” 

“No! No, no… I have to call him back. Urgh!” You ran a hand through your hair. 

“Whooooo…” You hit yes, out your phone up to your ear, and let the phone ring. 

You were sweating and your heart was pounding like a drum. 

What if he didn’t pick up?

“Hello?”

“Hi, John, it’s me… (Y/N).” 

-

You asked him to come to the mansion, to sit down and talk to you. He seemed nervous over the phone, but he agreed to come and talk. 

“He called you? After six years of nothing?” Kitty scoffed in disbelief. 

“My number isn’t the same as it was in 2006. Plus who knows what he’s been up too since…” Your words trailed off.

“Why didn’t you ask to meet up at like a Starbucks or the library?” Alex asked. 

“I want him to meet Junior.”

“Are you insane?!” Rogue asked, looking over at you.

“The mansion is a place we’re both familiar with, and he doesn’t have to see him right away…” 

The three all had unsure looks on their faces. 

“It’s my decision. And while you’ve all been more than supportive, I believe he has a right to meet his son. He doesn’t have to be in his life permanently, as much as I’d like that, but he should at least know about him. See him once, maybe.” 

“You’re right,” Kitty spoke up. “He deserves to meet his kid. We may not like him or want him around, but Junior is his son. We can’t change that.”

“Kitty’s right. John’s not the greatest, but he always tried when it came to you, and he deserves to meet his son.” 

“When is he coming over?”

“Tomorrow at 10.” 

-

“Hey, kiddo.” You slowly opened your son’s door and peaked in. “You ready for bed?”

“Yep!” He popped the p. “I fed George and Rock and Socks.” Those were the fish in his little aquarium. “I brushed my teeth, and I put my pajamas on!” 

You gave him a hug, “That’s great, sweetie!” 

Junior sat under his covers in his bed, and you sat on the edge. “What’d you do in your classes today?” 

“Well, Ms. Monroe read us a book about a farm where the cows found a typewriter and made the farmer change the farm up!” 

Wow, starting them young.

“And then she taught us about different types of plants. Did you know broccoli is actually a flower?”

“I did not,” You blinked. 

“Does this mean I don’t have to eat it anymore? People don’t eat flowers!” 

Oh, Junior thought he was so slick. 

“Actually kiddo, some flowers are edible. So, no, you can’t cut out broccoli.” 

He frowned, “But I don’t wanna eat flowers!” 

“Rules are rules… And besides, you wanna eat healthily and get strong, don’t you?” 

“Yeah!” Junior’s face lit up. “So I can beat Gabe when we wrestle!” 

Gabe was Scott and Alex’s 10-year-old brother, who also went to Xavier’s school. He was one of the few kids even close to Junior’s age, making them almost best friends. 

“See! That’s the spirit! Now, do you want me to read to you before you go to sleep?” 

“Hmm… Hmm… Hmm…” 

You laughed a little, “I’ll take that as a no.”

Junior yawned, “Hmm…”

“I’ll let you get some sleep, okay?” You got up, bending down to kiss his forehead. 

“Okay, mom… Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, sweetie.” 

You closed the door behind you as you stepped out. You stood there for a moment to take a breather. 

John was going to love him, you weren’t worried about that. You were worried if you still had feelings for him and you were acting irrationally. 

No, You decided as you brushed your teeth in your bathroom. I’m not acting irrationally. I’ve wanted to talk to him since he left. I have no anger or sadness left in me, and I just want to catch up. 

“(Y/N),” Professor Xavier spoke into your mind. “You’re making part of the mansion shake.” 

“Shit!” You dropped your toothbrush into the sink and tried to pace your breath. 

“It’s alright, dear.” 

You had geological manipulation, and while you had practically mastered it, you still struggled at times. 

You rubbed your face with a towel and sighed. 

You knew getting any sleep was out the door at that point. 

-

You must have fallen asleep at some point and gotten some sleep because you woke up almost an hour late. 

“No, no, no!” You were frantic, slipping on your clothes, trying to brush your hair and somehow rock half-assed bed head and no makeup so you could be presentable in under five minutes. 

“Hey, (Y/N), you slept through your alarm—“

“I know, Bobby!” You were running down the hall to get to your classroom. 

“So I got Junior dressed and ready for the day—“

You slowed down to stop and open your door, looking at Bobby. “Oh my god. Thank you so much…” You instantly wrapped him into a hug. 

“Hey, hey, it’s okay…” 

“I’m just so worried… about John and—“

“You’re gonna be fine,” He soothingly rubbed one of his hands on your back. 

“I got no sleep last night… I’m anxious about John coming back too. We’re in this together, okay?” 

“Yeah, together.” 

-

You stood peeking through a window, waiting for him. 

10:00 came, and a rugged, black Jeep pulled through the gates. 

You watched him step out of the car— brown leather jacket, facial hair, and he looked slightly more muscular than you’d last seen him. He’d aged, just like you, but not in a bad way, despite the fact he looked a bit tired. But then again, so did you. 

You left your hiding spot and went outside to greet him. 

“Hey!” 

“Hey!” He quickly checked you out, but it didn’t go undetected by you. “Wow, you look— great!” 

“You too.” You stood there, face to face, unsure if a hug or a handshake was appropriate. 

“So, how have you been?” 

“Good, um— well, a lot has changed since you left…” 

John nodded awkwardly. “But uh… I could give you a tour. Tell me about what you’ve been up to?” 

“Yeah, sure. Sounds good.” 

“So… Bobby, Rogue, Kitty, and I all became teachers...“ John chuckled. “What? Hard to believe?”

“No, no…” He shook his head. “Are Bobby and Rogue still together?” 

You laughed, “No way! Bobby came out of the closet and Marie sees some guy from New Orleans, I think his name is Remy? I’m not really sure… 

John smiled, “Yeah, he told me— junior year, he didn’t like girls.” 

“It hurt, Rogue,” You admitted. “But she understood.” 

“Well, that’s good, I suppose…”

“Yeah, yeah.” You wandered down the halls a bit, before speaking up. 

“So… what have you been up to?”

“Well, I lived in Genosha for awhile…”

“Magento’s hippie colony?” 

“Hey!” He jokingly scoffed. “It’s not a hippie colony!”

“Okay, Mister.” 

“Anyway, I uh, I started writing…”

You rose your brows in surprise, “Really? What do you write about?”

“Romance, mostly…” John was flustered. “Gothic romance. One of the people on Genosha knew a guy, he’s a literary agent—“

“Wait, are you…?”

“Yeah, I’m an actual published author. I only have two books out right now, the first one came out in 2008, and the other just last year.” 

You were baffled, all this time, and you could have contacted him sooner somehow. “I had no idea… congratulations! That’s amazing!”

“Thank you…” 

“Yeah, of course. You do anything else?”

“My mom died two years ago… I went to her funeral… I saw my dad.”

“How’d that go?”

“Not great… but, you know how it is.” You nodded in sympathy. “Anyway, what’s new with you? Besides teaching… Any new X-Men? Are you… seeing anyone…?”

“Scott’s younger brother joined the team, and he has another brother—“

“Mommy! Mom!” You froze. John noticed your shift in demeanor and glanced from you to Junior. 

“Junior, you’re supposed to be in class.” 

“I was, but then Stacy Brown, the girl with the lizard tongue, threw up, so Stacy got taken to Dr. Grey’s lab and Ororo let us leave early.”

“I know who Stacy Brown is, sweetie. You don’t have to tell me she has a lizard tongue. That’s not very nice to point out people’s mutations.” 

Junior frowned and sulked a little, “I’m sorry…”

“I forgive you.” 

John’s eyes kept moving between you and Junior. When did you have a kid? He couldn’t be any older than five or six. 

“Hi. Who are you?” The kid spoke to him. 

“Oh,” John crouched down to equal eye level. “I’m John… What’s your name?” 

“My name is John, too! Well, actually Johnathan-Robert, I was named after my dad and one of his closest friends, even though his name isn’t actually Johnathan. Everyone calls me Junior though, cause my initials are JR.” 

John was floored. He had a son. 

He had a son, and he left him. He left you. 

Oh, God… 

“Uh, Mr… Mr. John?” Junior asked. “Why are you crying?” 

“Uh, Junior, sweetie…” You trailed off. “He’s your dad.” 

“Oh! Oh, I’m sorry…”

John wiped his eyes and stood up, “What for?”

“I made you cry… I’m really sorry…”

“It’s okay. They were happy tears.” He rubbed his eyes. 

“Oh… Do you wanna see my fish? I have 3 of them in my room, they live in a terrarium!” 

“Aquarium,” You corrected him. 

“That’s what I said!” 

John smiled, “Yeah, I’d like that.” 

“Come on, then!” Junior grabbed his hand and led him upstairs. 

-

John moved back in. 

Not with you necessarily, but he wanted to be a part of Junior’s life. He felt like the world’s biggest asshole for leaving days before you found out you were pregnant. 

He joined the brotherhood because he felt like you were the only person who saw him as a decent human being. He didn’t agree with everything Xavier said and stood for, and he was tired of people comparing him to Bobby. 

He wanted to fight for what he thought was right. He wanted to be able to just do what he wanted without hurting the one person he cared about. Which is why he didn’t tell you he was leaving. 

But he knew he hurt you. He knew soon as the battle was over and he claimed one of the small homes on Genosha as his. 

He was scared to reach out the first few months. And then he assumed you left Xavier’s and he didn’t know how to contact you from there. He only just got your number because a graduate from Xavier’s moved to Genosha, giving him your number and telling him you hadn’t left. 

He didn’t even hesitate to call you. He didn’t even care if you cursed him out on the other line, yelling about how you never wanted to see him again. He just wanted to hear your voice one more time. 

What he wouldn’t have done to hold you in his arms again, feel your soft, pink lips against his, your bodies pressed against each other, becoming one. 

But he knew he didn’t deserve any of it. He didn’t deserve you. He knew he fucked up. 

And what hurt him the most was he thought he was worse than his own father. The one who beat him, called him a monster, sent him away to a foreign country, left in the care of strangers— he thought he was worse because he wasn’t there in the beginning. He wasn’t there for the doctor’s appointments, the birth, or his first steps and words. 

You talked to him. Tried to convince him he wasn’t bad, while still holding your ground and making him responsible for just up and leaving. 

“I should have gone with you. You know I would have. I would have followed you to the fucking moon if you asked.” 

“I know… I just thought keeping you out of all that was the best choice.”

“We were fucking kids John! We really didn’t know much. We still don’t! We’re 23 with a child.”

“You don’t have to forgive me. You don’t have to love me again. I just want to be in my son’s life, please.” He was trying his best to not cry again. 

“Most of the time you’re a great guy. I want you in Junior’s life… I just… I don’t know if we can ever go back to how it was before.” I still love you, but I’m not ready to rush into anything…

“Yeah, no, I get that. You have no reason to trust me, and no obligations to date me…”

You sighed, “I want us to be friends. Not for anyone’s sake but for our own… because as much as I should… I don’t hate you.” 

“Thank you.” His voice was breaking. 

“Friends?” 

He nodded, “Yeah, friends.” You wrapped him in your arms in place of a handshake. Neither of you said anything. Nothing needed to be said. 

-

John had been living at the X-Mansion for almost two years. He taught an English class or two and continued to write more gothic romance novels while spending as much time as he could with Junior. 

He became friends with Bobby, Kitty, and Rogue again. He became friends with Alex. He was friends with you, despite wanting more. 

But he knew he didn’t deserve it, and he was just glad to get what he could. 

“So… what do they like, do in Romania?”

You looked up from your lesson plan for the week and gave John a funny look. 

“What do they do in Romania? Aren’t you the one writing about vampires? You should know.” 

“Yeah, but you’re a history teacher!”

“I teach kids about the civil war, Marie Antionette, and the Han dynasty.” 

You sometimes worked together in the library or in one of your rooms or classrooms. John— writing the next chapter of his novel— and you, usually doing lesson plans or grading tests. 

“What are you writing about anyway?” You turned in your chair to watch John scribble words down in his notebook. He preferred to write down on paper first, then type it up. 

“Well, she’s making Von take her on a date since she’s been living with him for a month and he confessed he liked her.”

“Isn’t Von a vampire?”

John nodded, “Half. Anyway, he’s gonna like, take her stargazing on the rooftop. I don’t know what else they’re gonna do after that.”

You pondered for a moment, “We used to do that all the time…” 

“Yeah, um…”

You laughed a little, teasing him. “Do you base all your stories on our romantic endeavors?”

“Not all of them!” He defended. 

“That so?” John hummed in response. “What has the great womanizer, St. John Allerdyce, been up to in his love life the last few years?” 

“Not much,” He admitted. “I went on a few dates, a handful of hookups, but nothing really worked out…” He tried to shake the feeling of longing for you off, “What about you?”

“Same as you. Not much luck, especially with being a young mom, and raising a kid with two of her best friends who are guys, it tends to… scare people away…” 

John swung his legs to the side of the bed, about to get up. 

“They’re pussies,” He said while looking at you. 

You nodded, not noticing he got up, “Yeah, besides I’m busy…”

Your train of thought was forgotten as John’s eyes looked into yours. You weren’t speaking. 

Your eyes glanced down at his lips. They were soft and pink. 

You cleared your throat, trying to distract yourself from your thoughts, unaware John’s brain was on the same page as yours. 

He unexpectedly pressed his lips against yours. You were wide-eyed with shock as he did so. You weren’t expecting that. 

But you were glad it happened. 

He broke away too quickly for your liking. “I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have—“

“Do it again.” 

“What?” John almost thought you were kidding. 

“Kiss me again, Sinjin.” 

And so he did. His lips collided with yours, your mouths moving in sync. 

His weight and force caused you to fall back in your chair, with John straddling your waist. Your hands were tugging on the hair at the nape of his neck, causing him to moan a little against your mouth. His hands were roaming up and down your body. 

You partially ground against his crotch, causing him to break his lips away from yours and curse. 

It didn’t last long, as he went back to kissing your lips like a horny teenager, pulling your shirt up off of you. 

“Wait, wait, stop.” John froze, looking you directly in the eyes, his face barely two inches away from yours. 

“Is everything alright?” 

“Buy me dinner first, before you undress me, okay?” 

You didn’t want to get carried away. You wanted a clear mind before you slept with him again. Kissing and going on a few dates and whatever else you were doing was enough at that moment. 

He nodded, in total awe of you— The small details of your face one could only see if they were this close— “Tomorrow at 7. Does that work for you?” 

“That’s perfect.” 

-

“So I need you— if you can’t that’s fine! You have lives of your own— but I kind of need someone to watch Junior for the night.” 

You really hated asking people to babysit, but it was Kitty and Rogue. They wouldn’t care. 

“Not that we won’t do it,” Kitty said. “But why can’t John watch him?” 

“Well—“

suddenly, Bobby burst through the door, screaming the girls’ names. 

“KATHERINE! ANNA MARIE! I HAVE HUGE NEWS!” 

“What is it?”

“John—“ He looked at you, and then stopped his sentence. 

“Oh… I’m assuming you told them.”

“Told us what?” Rogue asked. 

“John and (Y/N) are going on a date.” 

“Finally,” Kitty let out. 

You were confused, “What do you mean, finally?” 

“Are— are you serious?” Bobby asked in disbelief. 

You nodded. 

“You two are so in love, it’s sickening sometimes!” Rogue scoffed. 

“We are not!” You knew that wasn’t true. You obviously still had feelings and so did he, but love? You weren’t sure if it was that. 

“Please, he never stopped loving you, and you never stopped loving him.”

“Bobby…”

“(Y/N)...” 

You groaned. 

“Look, I’m not gonna push you into saying the L-word anytime soon, but the guy writes romance novels for fuck’s sake! You’re gonna have a great time no matter what.”

Yeah, you thought to yourself as John drove down the crowded New York roads. 

We’re gonna have a great time no matter what. 

You went to some restaurant that just opened. It wasn’t too fancy or too casual, but since it was new, you still needed a reservation. 

After dinner, you walked around the city streets, just catching up, looking at shops and apartment buildings and all the people. 

It almost felt like you were teenagers again. 

Holding hands, watching the sunset…

John pulled out his phone to snap a few pictures. You decided to try and photobomb, making dumb faces and peeking your head into view of the camera. 

John shifted his hands and arms so you were the camera’s main focus. 

The way the sun's rays reflected through the lens behind you making you glow, (John already thought you were most of the time), your goofy smile— he took a picture, but to him, it looked more like a renaissance painting. 

He glanced away from his phone to see you without a lense. 

You still looked like a heavenly being to him. You always did— strong, beautiful, intelligent, witty, and you were an amazing mom.

 He didn’t have anyone to use as a base for “mom skills”, but he didn’t need that to know you were amazing. Not just with Junior, but all the young kids at the mansion. 

Of course, there were times when you faltered or felt like you weren’t good enough, times where you would make the mansion shake on accident, but everyone had weak points. 

John didn’t see you as any lesser for them, he knew your life wasn’t easy. Even if he had never left, it wouldn’t have been perfect. 

But he couldn’t dwell on the past forever, despite how much he wanted to at some of his weaker moments. 

“Whatcha looking at?”

He blinked. “You… The sunset… You look like an angel.” 

You nervously laughed, “Stop it.” 

John put his phone away and got back to your side. 

“I’m serious, you’re beautiful…” 

Your gaze fell down to your feet, not unnoticed by John. 

“Hey,” He cupped your face with his hand, forcing your gaze on him. “It’s okay if you don’t believe me right now, but you will one day… I promise you that.” 

His hand faltered and you hugged him. 

“God, you’re so nice to me.” 

“I don’t deserve you.” He plainly stated. 

You narrowed your eyes at him and pointed a finger. “No self-deprecating talk!”

John laughed at your attitude shift. It was cute. “Alright, but that means nothing from you either.“

“Fine.” 

John kissed the top of your head, causing you to smile like a madman. It made his heart flutter a bit. 

-

Your first date was almost two years ago. It seemed so long ago, yet almost like it was yesterday. 

You woke up to the sound of your alarm. 

You immediately woke up, but John just groaned and stirred in his sleep a little. 

He had an arm wrapped around you, so you had to wiggle your way out of bed. “Come on, sleepyhead…” 

John groaned some more, his grip on you just got tighter. 

“If you don’t let me out, I’ll pee on the bed.” 

John’s eyes shot open, and you smirked to yourself, having been victorious. 

“That would be hot.” 

You gagged as you walked into your bathroom. “Gross!”

John followed you, “You know I’m just joking.” 

You shook your head, a smile evident on your face. “I know, I know.” 

You turned the sink on and began washing your face. John used the empty space in the mirror to brush out his bed head. 

You caught him starring at you a few times as you both went through your morning routines. 

“What are you thinking about?” 

“Nothing.” He kissed the crook of your neck. “Today’s just gonna be a good day. That’s all. I can feel it.” 

You let his words sink in for a moment. 

“Yeah, today’s gonna be a good day.” 

That’s when John knew. His instinct, gut, or whatever you call it, knew this was it. 

He casually walked out of the bathroom and grabbed a small box. You were preoccupied with applying some makeup. 

He came back in, on one knee in the doorway. 

You looked over at him, nearly dropping your brush on to the floor, your jaw slack. 

“(Y/N), I love you. And this isn’t some big romantic gesture, but love isn’t only seen in big romantic gestures. It’s the small things, the intimate moments. I did have something planned, but I really couldn’t wait. I love you… and…” John’s words trailed off. He was starting to cry. Your eyes were watering too. 

“Will you marry me?”

You nodded, “Yes, yes!” 

John got up and kissed you. Then he slipped the ring on your finger. 

You admired it, “Wow… it’s beautiful…”

“So are you.” 

You kissed him without missing a beat.

-

“You may now kiss the bride.” 

John didn’t hesitate with that. 

People cheered and some jokingly wolf-whistled. Junior made a sour face. 

Your wedding was magical, and despite having to say hello to every guest and dance at least twice, you were happy. So happy. 

John was happy too. He had a big smile on his face the whole time, no matter what and he was so excited to call himself your husband. 

Some people teased him and others were very surprised, claiming John was really out of his element. 

You knew better though. You both just loved each other, and after John spilled his guts on how much he loved you in front of everyone at the altar, he couldn’t care less who saw him like this. 

-

You just had a quick breakfast before you had to teach your first-hour class. You didn’t think anything of it as you were running a bit behind. 

You were fine though, and your schedule was going smoothly, your class was taking notes as you talked about the French Revolution. Students were asking questions when needed, and most of them were paying attention. 

Suddenly, you felt a wave of nausea hit you. You tried to keep it down, but you couldn’t, and immediately darted to the trash can near your desk. 

Your students were murmuring among each other, unsure of what to do. 

“Um… Ms. (Y/L/N)? Are you okay?” 

You used a tissue to wipe your mouth and applied some hand sanitizer. 

“Yeah— um—“ 

You couldn’t come up with an excuse though, for one of your students opened a portal and grabbed John and another teacher. 

John rushed to your aid, asking if you were alright. 

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine.”

“I’m gonna take you to Dr. Grey. Piotr, can you watch her class for a little bit?” 

“Yeah, sure.” He replied, a little unsure and worried about your well being. 

John helped you out of your classroom, despite you insisting you didn’t need help. 

Thankfully Jean was in the lab, so you didn’t have to go looking for her. 

As you explained what happened, John sat at your side like a nervous puppy. 

“Babe, I’m not going to die. I probably just ate something bad and my stomach didn’t agree with it.” 

“Food poisoning is really serious—“

“It’s probably not that.” 

“You rarely get sick aside from the common cold or seasonal allergies.” He reminded you. 

Jean smiled, at how much John was worrying. It showed he cared. 

“Have you had anything else happen to you lately?”

“I’ve been a lot more tired, and more headaches, but that’s just aging, right?” 

“Probably. I’m gonna have you fill this out though, just in case.” Jean handed you a clipboard with a questionnaire attached. 

You read each question, leaving a checkmark or an x, depending on what it was. You handed it back to Jean and she read it over. 

“I’m gonna have you pee in a cup, just so I can test it for a few things.”  Jean opened a plastic wrapping and handed you a small plastic cup. 

“Bathroom’s on the right.” 

You came back quickly, informing Jean you left the cup in the bathroom. 

“I’ll go get that… and I should be back with your results soon.”

She walked out, leaving you and John alone. 

You checked your phone, seeing some missed texts from Kitty. 

 KITTY: Hey

 KITTY: heard you puked in class today :( you alright?

 (Y/N): yeah, I’m in Jean’s lab. She’s testing my urine for something…

 KITTY: oh my god! Are you pregnant?

 (Y/N): What!!?

 KITTY: that’s usually why they test urine. Although, when I’d go to the dr. they’d make me pee to see if there was like protein in my pee or something

 KITTY: idk

 (Y/N): There’s no way!

 (Y/N): Well...

 KITTY: *side eye emoji* didn’t you tell me your period was a little late?

 (Y/N): Yeah, but that’s normal! 

 KITTY: You’re almost 30

 (Y/N): So? Your period isn’t always regular, and we’re the same age

 KITTY: I’m a lesbian. You have a husband. 

 You turned your phone off. What if you were pregnant again?

Obviously, you were in a good place, you would be fine having a kid. (Plus, Junior had been asking for a sibling awhile back.) You just hadn’t really discussed it with John. 

Why mess up a good thing? You, know? You didn’t need another child, but you wouldn’t be disappointed. 

Oh god! You were definitely pregnant and what if John didn’t want more kids? What if your body couldn’t handle carrying another baby? What if—

“Sweetheart, you’re shaking.” John’s hands held yours, trying to keep them from moving. “Are you alright? Do you feel like you’re gonna faint?”

“I might be pregnant…” You whispered. You don’t know why you whispered it. 

“Are you sure?”

“My period is late— but even after five different kinds of birth controls it’s never really been on a regular schedule. Me throwing up could have been morning sickness—“ 

John couldn’t hide the smile on his face. You were rambling about how you were probably pregnant and how worried you were. He just held your hand, and calmly said your name. 

“(Y/N), you’re gonna be okay. You’re an amazing mom, and I’m gonna be with you through all of it this time.” 

You nodded, not trusting your voice. 

Jean came back with your results. 

“So?”

“You must have eaten something bad, or your period is coming up. Some women vomit during PMS.” 

“Am I pregnant?” You asked. 

“No, why? We’re you expecting that?” 

“Oh, no. We’re not— I just thought— cause you made me pee—“

Jean shrugged as she typed on her computer. “I did test for that. But no baby…” 

You nodded, asking what to do next. 

John sat, lost in his thoughts. He was so excited at the thought of you being pregnant. 

Do I want another kid?... 

When Junior had asked for a sibling not too long ago, John said, “No way.” 

Now?

“Just drink plenty of water, and bed rest. I’ll get someone to cover your classes for tomorrow after we disinfect your room. If you don’t puke or have any new symptoms within the next 48 hours, you can go back to teaching.” 

“Make sure she stays in her room, okay?” Jean said to John. 

“Yes, ma’am.” He half-joked. 

John led you up to your shared room, shutting the door behind him. 

“Lay on the bed. I’ll get you some pajamas, and then some water. How do you feel? Do you need more blankets? I’m sure I can get Bobby to cover my next class, I can cuddle with you if you’d like.” 

“No, Sinjin, I’m fine, really… besides, I can make another lesson plan, or finish my book—“

“Oh no, you don’t. Jean said you needed to rest. So, that’s exactly what you’re gonna do. Even if that means I have to sit and watch you.” 

“Creep,” You teased as you changed into your pajamas. 

“Edward did it with Bella,” He argued, while quickly texting Bobby, asking to sub for him. 

“Didn’t you say Stephanie Myer was an ‘embarrassment in the gothic romance community?’” 

“Besides the point…” 

“Okay, Edward Cullen.” 

John removed his shoes and socks and joined you in bed, “Shut up.” 

“Make me,” You teased, eyes bearing into his. John kissed your forehead. 

“I would, but you puked up breakfast not even three hours ago.” 

You frowned, “Then don’t cuddle with me! You’ll get sick.” 

“My body is like a furnace. Most diseases don’t last in me.” 

“I don’t think that’s how it works.” 

John shrugged as he draped an arm over you, rubbing circles into your skin with his thumb.

You shifted a little, trying to get comfortable, before settling on a position. 

“Hey, Sinjin…”

“Yeah?” 

“What if I was pregnant?” 

John’s hand stopped. 

“We thought I was for a minute, and you looked excited, despite the fact I was freaking out… Do you want another kid?” 

John flinched a little at your sharp question. “I mean… it’s your body. It’s up to you.” 

“No, no, we’re in this together. Do you want another kid?” 

“Honestly?... Yeah, I do. I know I was on the fence when Junior first asked, but that was months ago… I want to experience everything, and be there for you this time… do you want to have another kid?

“Uh-huh.” 

“Okay… Wait— when can we— Jean said 48 hours without puking—“

You glanced over at the clock, “10:43 AM. This Wednesday.” 

“Right. At exactly 10:43 AM, on Wednesday, we can have sex… Oh my god.” John laughed, somewhat disappointed and embarrassed by his words. 

“What?”

“We’re like an old couple, scheduling when to have sex.” 

You laughed, “Plenty of people schedule sex— remember when we were younger? We’d plan around when Bobby and Kitty wouldn’t be around so one of our rooms were empty—“

“Okay, okay… I’ll go to the store and get some viagra.” 

You snorted, “Don’t think you’ll be needing that big guy.” 

“You’re right. I’ll just get some extra large condoms.” John joked. 

“First off, that defeats the whole point of baby-making, and second, you need small at best.” 

“You wound me, woman!”

You smiled stuck your tongue out like a child.

-

When you were in better health, you and John didn’t waste any time— You went at it like rabbits. 

You thought you’d get pregnant on the first try, seeing as you weren’t even trying for Junior, but that wasn’t the case. You had to try a few more times before getting there.

Test after test, until finally, one said positive. 

You and John were so excited, not a dry eye between the two of you. 

“We’re having a baby!” John held you close, his hands down at your stomach. 

“I’m not showing yet, it’s too early…”

“I know, I know,” He sheepishly admitted.  “I’m just excited.” 

“We can’t tell anyone until the second trimester, or well, we’re not supposed to, because it’s such early development right now that something could go wrong, usually it doesn’t— but that’s what all the doctors and books and mommy blogs online say.”

John nodded, he’d read a few books, and some articles online, but he knew you’d already been to doctors before and just knew more. 

“When do you think we should tell Junior?” 

“How are we gonna tell Junior,” You corrected him. 

“He wanted a sibling. This should be easy.” 

You squinted your eyes at him. “If we start to struggle how to explain this to him, it’s all on you buddy.” 

“Alright.” 

-

John knew what was going to happen. He knew what a cesarean section was. He even watched videos, about it. 

But boy, oh, boy, seeing it in person was so much different. 

Your doctor let him cut the umbilical cord, which he was super nervous about. He was anxious about everything. 

Was your daughter safe? What if you woke up before you got stitched up? What if you had a sudden health complication?

His mind raced as he watched your baby get cleaned off and checked on. 

“Is she okay?” 

“So far. We’re going to take her to the nursery to get her weighed and measured and move her mom out of the delivery room. Stay with her, when the anesthesia wears off she’s gonna be pretty sore.” 

John didn’t want to leave your baby girl, but he wasn’t going to disobey your doctor. 

You made it into your recovery room without any trouble, and after a few minutes, your nurse left you and John alone, saying he could visit your daughter in the nursery soon. 

“I’ll wait until our friends and family get here.” 

Your nurse nodded and reminded you to press the button on the side of your bed if you needed anything, before heading out the door. 

-

You named your daughter after your other two best friends, Katherine Anne Allerdyce. John wanted to name her after you, but you argued what if you had another girl? 

He got all flustered and nervous at the idea, which you found cute. 

“Do you wanna hold her?” He asked Junior. 

He nodded and was told to sit down in one of the chairs. 

“She’s so… tiny…” He emphasized. 

Everyone laughed or chuckled at Junior’s demeanor. 

“She was born a few hours ago,” You reminded him. 

“Oh… Yeah.” 

Everyone else took turns holding her and cooing and doting over Kat. 

“Aww, hello… Hello Kat… Aww, you’re so cute.”

“Bobby she’s asleep.” 

“Hush let me hold my niece.”

John frowned. “She’s my child and I’ve held her less than you have.” 

You rolled your eyes, “Babe, let Bobby dote.” 

“Fine…”

Kitty pulled out her phone, “Let me get a picture of you guys! Bobby, John, and Katherine. I think it’ll be cute!” 

“Fine, fine.” John rolled his eyes but smiled nonetheless. 

He scooted closer to Bobby and grinned up at Kitty’s phone as the flash went off. 

“Ow!” Bobby winced. “Did you have to use flash?” 

“Aww… you blinked.” She pouted. 

“I was blinded!”

“Hush it, you big baby. Let me take another one.” Kitty positioned her phone to take another picture again. 

“No flash this time!”

“It’s not on!”

John smiled again and so did Bobby. Kitty took her photo and then admired her work. 

“Aww, you guys look so cute together!” 

She handed her phone to John so he and Bobby could look at the picture. 

John smiled. 

He looked tired, normal with age, raising a kid, and being up for hours while his wife gave birth. 

But he was happy. 

His life wasn’t how he thought it would be, but unplanned plans are usually the best ones. 

He had a family— not just you, Junior, and Kat— but Bobby, Kitty, Alex, Rogue, and everyone else at the mansion. He had people to fall back on and that supported and loved him. 

He looked over at you, talking to Alex while sipping from the straw of your hospital cup/water bottle they gave you. His heart yearned. Despite how tired you were, and how you couldn’t even walk at the moment due to giving birth not even 24 hours ago, John still thought you were the most beautiful and brave person he knew. His writing could never compare or encapture your character, no matter how hard he tried. 

But it didn’t matter. 

You both had what you never knew you wanted. 

And you were happy. 

[saharamae21]

Vapor (Part 18)

Hey guys.... It’s been a while, but happy late thanksgiving. Sorry I meant to update before I went home but here I am. I’m sleep deprieved and stressed but I love ya all. Please let me know if you want this to keep going on.

GIVE ME FEEDBACK - I WANNA KNOW IF YOU GUYS EVEN WANT TO READ THIS STILL

Work count: 1.5K

Warnings: Language, mentions of kidnapping and violence.

IMPORTANT (PLS READ) : There is two ways this fic can go depending on what you guys want. It can go on for about 3-4 more chapters or about 7-10 more chapters. I don’t know if you guys aren’t reading it anymore or if you lost interest, so please let me know.

_________________________________________

I had no sense of time anymore. Everything was a hazy mess as I woke up and fell asleep, constantly under the influence of some sort of drug. I wondered if it had been hours or days. I wondered if anyone was looking for me. I wanted to believe that JJ was spending every waking moment searching for me, but I couldn’t be sure. As the drugs played tricks on my mind, I remembered the look on his face. The way he glared at me caused my heart to sink further and further into my stomach. Ever since I was 12, I just kept disappointing him more and more. And as much as I loved him, I would be lying if I hadn’t thought that me being out of his life was for the best. I brought out the most extreme sides of him, the parts of himself he couldn’t control. I made him contemplate everything he’s ever known. I didn’t want to tear him apart anymore.

I woke up and the room was silent. No lights were on and the walls were moving in a ripple like effect. I could barely see through the darkness, but as the minutes passed, I became more and more coherent. I knew better than to speak out at this point. I knew better than to draw attention back to myself. As the current waves of drugs left my system, my mind wandered back to the pogues.

I wondered if John B had worked out a way to get the gold. I wondered if he and Sarah were happy together. John was always one of those people that you look at and smile. To me, he always had things figured out to an extent. He might not work well under pressure all the time, but he preservers no matter what. I knew that he would thrive no matter what the situation was. The truth was, John and I were never super close. I constantly competed with him for JJ’s attention and that often made us argue. I respected him though for doing the one thing I couldn’t the past few years, protect JJ.

I wondered if Pope had gone to his scholarship interview already. I had no doubts in my mind that he would crush it. He was the smartest person I knew and that was honestly an understatement. Not only was he booksmart, but he was streetsmart as well. He knew how to handle himself in a situation and overcome everything. He might not completely understand social cues, but he was still one of the most friendly souls that I have and will ever meet. If I ever needed anything, he would be the first person I would go to for help.

I wondered if Kiara was holding up. She had her hands full with the three boys. I remembered always being jealous of her as I grew up. She became a kook and they still wanted her around, but when I became a kook, they were so ready to push me away. I wondered what made her special enough to keep around over me, but as I grew closer to them all again I began to realize. She was special. She knew exactly how to handle everyone and keep situations under control. She was also the most caring and genuine person I’ve ever met. I would’ve kept her around over me as well. I hoped she wasn’t trying to pick up the pieces of the mess I caused.

I wondered if JJ cared that I was gone. I wondered if he thought I had disappeared on him again and that this was good riddance. I wondered if he was tearing himself apart. I couldn’t figure out which scenario I wanted more. On one hand, I wanted him to care that I wasn’t by his side right now. I wanted him to tell me he loved me and that nothing would ever hurt me again. However, with that came the guilt. I knew he would be worried sick. I knew that he would blame himself. Then there was the part of me that wished he couldn’t care less about me. The one where his anger gets the better of him and he eliminates me from his mind. He wouldn’t hurt that way. He wouldn’t see me as I slowly unraveled. But, after how long would he begin to lose bits of himself? Would he close himself off to the world again? Even if that did happen, he would have his friends to help him pull through.

I lifted my head once again and my throat felt dry. Nothing had changed since my thoughts ran wild, but something in me had changed. I was preparing to give up. I had reflected on the ones I loved the most and I had made peace with the idea of slipping through their fingers once again. My head was spinning and my body felt heavy. I was thankful for the moments that I had spent reconnecting with them, but this was the full circle ending that my life was destined. I didn’t die like all the children before me even though I was nothing special. Nothing set me apart from those children and I should’ve suffered the same fate. I shouldn’t have to live knowing that I was the one that got away… This was the ending of my full cycle.

JJ’s POV:

I sat awake and thinking about all the horrible things Addie could be going through. I wondered if I should tell her parents. Maybe they would know what to do, but how could I tell them I lost their daughter for a second time? I mentally screamed at myself. I knew that I should be out doing something, anything, but what if she came home while I was away. What if I just messed everything up further? A million thoughts ran through my head at a million miles an hour and I couldn’t keep track of them all. I let out a soft sigh and buried my head into the pillow beside me. How could I live with myself knowing that I kept failing her over and over?

I raised my head at the quiet knock and a small voice. My name left their mouth in a desperate manner. Sarah stood cautiously at the door, staring at me with sad eyes. I knew that none of this was her fault, but anger still filled me when I saw her. Her brother was doing this to Addie. Her family always looked down on people like me. That didn’t mean she was like that though. I saw the way John B and her cared for each other and I was happy for them. I just wasn’t happy at all right now.

“JJ?” she asked again. My eyes met hers and I looked away.

“Go away…” I muttered. My voice cracked as I forced the words out. I knew she was just checking up on me, but I didn’t think there was anything she could say to make me feel better. I was wrong.

“I think I know where Addie could be…” Her words repeated in my mind as I rushed with her to the car. My hands were shaking and I was sweating. I sat in the passenger seat and tried not to lose my cool. I just needed her to drive faster. I needed Addie. When we arrived at the shipping dock, I thought she was pulling my leg. I looked around frantically and saw no sign of A. I was losing my fucking mind without her.

“This way…” Sarah muttered. Her voice was small and scared. I followed her up to a shipping crate. I heard her mumbling about how her parents use this for storage. I heard her, but I wasn’t listening. I started as she fumbled with the keys and opened the doors slowly. The crate was dark, but I could still see perfectly. Addie.

I rushed forward to her and knelt down in front of her. I gently placed my hand on her cheek. Her eyes fluttered open and stared at me. Tears filled my eyes at how weak she looked. I muttered out apology after apology, begging for her to forgive me. I untied her as I pleaded. As soon as her arms were free, she reached forward and lifted my shirt. She said nothing, but she brushed her hand over my closed wound. I broke down at the small action. I told her to stop. I told her to stop worrying about me. I told her I was sorry. It wasn’t enough though. She made herself small around me. She was hurt because of me. I pulled her into my arms, lifting her to carry her to the car. Her small, hoarse voice whispered softly next to my ear.

“I’m sorry,” she said. I hugged her tightly in my arms as if to tell her I would never let her go again.

“No, no, no. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” I said back. I rushed to the car, my main focus on getting her somewhere safe. “I love you. I’m sorry.”

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GIVE ME FEEDBACK - I WANNA KNOW IF YOU GUYS EVEN WANT TO READ THIS STILL

Tag List : @thebendslikebendover @justcallmesams @jellyfishbeansontoast @prejudic3 @jjtheangel @jiaraendgame @obxmxybxnk @waywardbarbie @talksoprettyjjx @bb-tings @agirlwholovescoffee-blog @thoughtsofthestars @outerbankslut @potterheadhollander @baby-pogue @obxlife @queenieloveswriting @rockyyc77 @beth-winchester @outerbongs @sunwardsss @ilovejjmaybank @kaelyn-lobrutto24 @jjmaybankwildtimes @canibeoneofthepogues @raekenliar @jjpogueprincess @casper17 @waywardbabie @iateamoth @judayyyw @drewswannabegirl @maybanksbaby

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #441

“all alone, he turns to stone while holding his breath after death  /  terrified of what’s inside, to save his life he crawls like a worm from a bird”

Have you ever watched a movie in class/school that made you cry? Yep, a few. What’s the earliest you could go to bed at night and feel okay about? If I'm having a really bad day, I can tolerate as early as 7:00. :x What is you favorite type of lunch meat? Honey ham, probably. What time of the year do you dislike the most? Summer is disgusting. It's too hot, too humid, too many bugs, and I just hate it. Do you put ketchup on your scrambled eggs? No, that sounds gross. What is your favorite color to wear? b l a c k Are you an overachiever? Oh, hunny. What physical feature do you wish you had (i.e. freckles, curly hair)? Maybe uhhhh big eyes. What fictional character (i.e. Bambi, Scarlette O'hara) would you marry? Darkiplier bc he is merely a misunderstood soft boi. How long have you gone without shaving (girls- legs, armpits; boys- faces)? Legs: It's been nearly a year. Pits: not that long, considering I shave them every time I get in the shower. What is the meanest thing you have ever said to someone else? I'm sure it would be something in one of the letters I sent Jason. Or Dad. Idk. Did you ever go through a phase where you wrote bad poetry? The phase never ended lmao. What is your favorite thing about your life? My loved ones. Save all the animals that die during road kill or save 1 human from a fire? Sorry, but I'm picking the animals. Have you ever painted a picture of somebody? Yes. How many real bfs/gfs have you had? Two. Did you enjoy your past relationships? Yes. Except for when I was with Tyler. Name a comedy that you like. White Chicks. Could you wait until marriage for sex? Yeah. What’s the best Nirvana song? I'm not sure, really... Maybe "Drain You?" What was the last thing that impressed you? No clue. When was the last time you were in a pet store? Several months ago when I went in to get more rats for Venus. What nationality is your last name? Irish. What’s your favorite kind of chips and dip? Plain, rippled Lays in French onion dip. Who was the last boy that you saw cry? I don't know, actually. It may have been Sara's dad, which was years ago. Does your mom know you do surveys? I mean no, it's not like it's come up in conversation. Have you ever had a serious injury? When I was a kid, there was this one time I was running down the road with my friend, and I tripped; I was a fast runner, so I skinned the everliving FUCK out of my knees to the point there was even pus. I was SOBBING, and it took weeks to heal; I had the scars for years. What was the last thing you achieved? Losing weight at the gymmmm. Staying dedicated to going. Would you enjoy being famous? No. I couldn't take all the eyes on me and even ONE person's negative judgment. What’s under your bed? A big box of my art supplies. Do you enjoy travelling? Yeah. I wish I could do it more. Have you ever belonged to a club? If so, what was it? No. When was the last time you drank strawberry milk? Not since I first tried it at elementary school. It was absolutely disgusting. Have you ever managed to collect all the fast food toys in a set? I doubt it. Do you have a clock in your room? No. Did you have a good driver’s ED teacher? No. If I'd listened to him while driving, I could've gotten myself killed while merging onto the highway. People are assholes and didn't want to move over. Which of Britney Spears’ songs is your favorite? Probably "Freakshow." Does mind over matter work for you? Not usually, no. Are you paranoid? Oh yes. What is the best thing about winter? Everything!!! Literally the only BAD thing about winter is the dry skin/lips. I love the cold, Christmas and all that comes with it, the decor, hot chocolate, snow, getting all cuddly... Everything. :') Have you ever been truly in love? Absolutely. Are you currently planning a trip? No. A trip to Illinois is just a wish right now. How many plants are in your home? None, I think? What is your favorite possession? Excluding my pets (because I don't like calling them "possessions"), probably my laptop. Have you ever felt like you were too nice and way too often overlooked? I have before, yes. What movies have tripped you out? Off the top of my head, the only entertainment media in general that has ever truly "tripped me out" was the first time I played the Silent Hill game. The movie didn't affect me to that level because I already understood the concept. When I watched Jason play it for the first time, I was SO confused and just blown away by the concept that I did loads of research and just thinking about it all. That franchise is just cool as shit, okay. Did you rollerblade as a kid? Do you still rollerblade? I LOVED rollerblading. I haven't done it in years, though. Would you ever settle into a relationship that wasn’t right for you? Do you know friends who are in relationships just so they have someone to sleep with at night? NO. I will NOT settle. Being genuinely in love with my partner is too important to me for me to ever do so. I don't know if any of my friends are in that situation. Would you take a dirty picture of yourself for someone you are dating? With my current body? FUCK no. If I was happy with my body, the answer is still probably no. I'm too self-conscious and awkward with that kind of stuff, and besides, I really don't think I want a picture like that to exist of myself to avoid potential trouble. Do you use earplugs or a sleeping mask when you sleep? No. What summertime treats do you love? We have this local slushy place that is FUCKING BOMB. It may sound basic, but they have SUCH a vast variety of flavors and goodies you can top it with that it's truly just so amazing. How picky are you when it comes to choosing who to kiss or not kiss? I am VERY picky. I have to be really interested in you. Save for how things were with Tyler... I just felt like I was supposed to. What do you hate most about moving? I. Hate. The process. Of moving. It is just so, so stressful to me. I have a very hard time confronting big tasks, and that's exactly what packing and unpacking entails. Do you feel that having sex anywhere but a bed is more exciting? Not necessarily. Do you drink 5 hour energy drinks or any other kinds of energy drinks? No. Has anyone ever whistled at you? I don't think so. Do you like scarves? No. Is your father homophobic? Possibly. I don't actually know. I honestly don't think he took Sara's and my relationship seriously, so that may be a sign. Do you take gummy vitamins? The only vitamin I take now is vitamin D, which isn't a gummy. Have you ever applied make-up on a guy, for any reason at all? Ha, yeah. I gave Jason a makeover once. Who would you like to meet before you die? MARK. I am so determined, alsdjfkaj;wek;rj. I just want to hug him and say thank you and ugly-cry. If your dream was to be a model, and a big opportunity came up, but you had to be nude, would you take it? No. Even if I had the body of a model. What’s the most ridiculous conspiracy theory you’ve ever heard of? The fuckin' flat earth theory, probably. If Heaven and Hell exists, where you going when you die? Well, considering I have an, uh, very negative opinion of the Christian god... Who is the person that you are afraid of losing, above everyone else? My mom. The day she passes is a day I am inexplicably horrified of. What is one thing that pisses you off pretty much everyday? My life. If there anyone you know that you feel should consider therapy? My mom really could use it. Do you like any of the songs on Twilight, or the actual movie/saga itself? I love "Supermassive Black Hole" by Muse, but idk if it was actually written for the movie. How old was the first person you kissed? He was 18 when we first kissed. Will you be a strict parent one day? I never want to be a parent. If I hypothetically became one, I don't think I'd be strict, necessarily, but very protective. Last person to stand up for you? Probably Mom, idk. Have you been to a baby shower? Yeah, a few. Who were you with the last time you went to the movie theater? My dad. What’s your favorite high school memory? Just... a lot with Jason. Do you like relationships, or do you prefer to be single? I prefer being in a (healthy) relationship, but I won't get into one just for the sake of having one. What is one adventurous thing you’d be willing to do? Hmmm... scuba-dive, maybe? What subject at school did you absolutely hate? Math. Italian food or Chinese food? Italian. I don't really like (most) Chinese food. Do you like to make flash cards when you study? I rarely did that. Has anyone ever told you that you’re a good singer? Yes, somehow. Do you ever watch TED talks, live or online? No. I dare you to write the name of a person you strongly dislike. Ashley. What do you think about Marilyn Manson? He's one of my favorite musical artists, but he's a disgusting dick personally. Biggest trouble you’ve ever gotten into at school? Nothing, really. I was a very well-behaved kid. Do you own one of those “professional” DSLR cameras? Yeah, I have a Canon. Does it bother you when you see a 6th grader with a bunch of gadgets? No. Did you buy yearbooks every year in high school, or did you not bother? Not every year, but most. Do you have Restless Legs Syndrome? No. Jalapeños: yay or nay? I loooove them. Did you ever play Minecraft? Nah. My niece is getting into it. Did you ever have a Club Penguin account? Were you a member? I did have one. I wasn't one of those premium members or anything like that; I just had a basic account. Do you know anyone that seems to not have any common sense? Bitch me. It's extremely embarrassing. I 100% got it from my dad. What do you think is the biggest injustice that was ever done to you? The manner through which Jason broke up with me. It left me traumatized. What type of person angers you the most? Abusive people that think only they matter and have no consideration for how their actions affect other people. If you could change your appearance, how would you alter it? I'd lose a shitload of weight, for one. My teeth would be whiter, my eyes bigger and bluer, I'd want my hair colored/able to hold color far better, I'd lighten and lessen my body hair, make my skin clearer, thin my eyebrows... I'd change a lot. What are your feelings on feminism? MANDATORY. Absolutely necessary in a misogynistic society. However, I do believe some people take it way too far to a point it is anti-man and puts women on a holy pedestal. It is about equality. Describe your first relationship? Perfect, until it wasn't. Describe your last relationship? Wonderful and healthy, but distance and our health were issues at the time. Can you honestly say that you always practice safe sex? My history with sex is confusing and complicated and I really don't know. Why do you think your most favorite film touches you so deeply? Thinking about it... it's probably because of how Simba runs from his problems and bad memories, but returns to confront them and is victorious. That's how I want to be. What do you want people you meet for the first time to think about you? That I'm nice and clearly sincerely cared about them and their feelings. Do you feel protective over someone? My sisters, nieces and nephews, Sara... What perfume/cologne do you wear? It's called "Blush." Where did your vehicle come from? I don't have my own, but Mom's came from a girl at the dance studio. She ran into a deer, and the front got fucked up, but the sweetheart paid to fix it up to being operable so Mom had her own car. The front bumper is kept intact with zip ties and duct tape, but hey... it works and has for many, many years now, lol. What was the color of the bridesmaid dresses of the last wedding you went to? Ummmm... I actually don't remember. What is your favorite way to eat chicken? As tenders, probably. It is your birthday. You hope the cake is: Red velvet. This year for my bday, our controlling-as-fuck family friend bought me my birthday cake without consulting ANYBODY, and I was so fucking annoyed. It was a very kind gesture, yes, but um, can I have a say, please? What do you wear to bed? Usually men's pj pants and a tank top. What were you doing at 8pm last night? Sleeping, actually. I was extremely tired and went to bed early.

[hellreads]

what are some of the most filthiest fics you've ever read?

this is the HARDEST ASK I have received so far, I spaced out after seeing this ask trying to recall every single filthy fic I ever read because there’s a lot but I will only be adding three fics per member for this ask, now, what I consider filthy may not be your cup of tea or may seem vanilla to y’all but to each their own, btw filthy to me includes threesomes to gangbangs because we’re weak for double penetration in this house, a lot of cum play and sloppy seconds, dirty talk, degradation, and more ~ by more I mean feelings, I need to feel something before drowning me in good explicit smut but I like pwps too lol, anyway, enough of my ramblings let’s get to the list! | 🍒

NOTE: please check all tags and warnings before reading a fic, read any of these at your own risk!

TOP PICKS

❥ The Hills by @minflix➴ Ski-Trip/Vacation!AU | Yoongi x Reader x Hoseok | Series➴ A ski trip with old friends sounds like a fun time, right?when your ex-boyfriend (who you hate but somehow always end up in bed with) and your stepbrother (who you are harboring not-so-secret feelings for) tag along at the last minute, you have a feeling it won’t be an uneventful weekend.but fun? debatable. that remains to be seen.

❥ Pour Up by jungxkook (deactivated/story no longer here on tumblr)➴ Fuckboy/Fratboy!AU | Taehyung x Reader x Jungkook | One-Shot➴ You like to pretend you hate Jungkook and Taehyung but sleeping with both of them doesn’t sound so terrible especially when you’re drunk and faded.

❥ Extreme Obsession by saylilirose➴ Psychological/Yandere!AU | OT7 x Reader | Series➴ In life, you meet one person that you live and grow old with. 

You? You meet seven. 

But your love? Non-existent. 

But theirs? Real…and obsessive.

Which turns deadly and dangerous. 

Without hesitation.➴ NOTE: this story contains heavy/dark/taboo themes and this isn’t for everyone, make sure you read all tags and warnings before starting this fic, you’ve been warned.

Kim Namjoon

❥ Miss Communication by @dovechim➴ Poly!AU | Namjoon x Reader x Jungkook | One-Shot➴ Poly relationships can be complicated. especially one where there’s an established hierarchy, and someone decides to break the rules. in a series of miscommunications between your boyfriends, you find yourself being the conveyor of peace and something else that isn’t quite what you expected. 

❥ Tigerboy by @joonbird��� Hybrid!AU | Namjoon x Reader | One-Shot➴ “You, a docile rabbit hybrid, have been waiting a long time to meet the mysterious tiger hybrid, Kim Namjoon.”

❥ Criminal by @teawithkpop➴ Criminal/Police!AU | Namjoon x Reader x Yoongi x Jungkook | One-Shot➴ Namjoon is a wanted criminal, and he decides he wants you to be his ‘last meal’ before he’s booked.

Kim Seokjin

❥ The Devil Wears Armani by @floralseokjin➴ Devil!AU | Seokjin x Reader | Series➴ You never imagined accidentally attempting to sell your soul to the devil would lead to this…

❥ Off-Limits by @floralseokjin➴ Brother’s Bestfriend!AU | Seokjin x Reader | Series➴ You’ve been lusting after your brother’s best friend for a while now, ever since you met him at a house party, flirting it up a storm as you failed to realise who the other was. That was months ago now and things are still awkward, but you can’t ignore the sexual tension that’s simmers between the two of you…and it keeps getting worse…

❥ In The Bleak Midwinter by @pcyheartgirlx➴ Idol/Escort!AU | Seokjin x Reader x Chanyeol | Series➴ We’re all whores, we just sell different parts of ourselves.

You own a multi-billion dollar company, servicing the biggest names in kpop, in more ways than one. Under the name “Starlight Catering”, you, your best friends, Damon and Maya, and your hundreds of workers provide stress relief for idols.

You have partially retired, not because you didn’t want to, but because Chanyeol was your muse. He was all that you had time for and all you needed. Until Jin came along.

So what happens when you mix fire and ice?

You get smoke and all the lines are blurred.

Min Yoongi (hardest list to make, I have a lot of good Yoongi filth T_T)

❥ Zelus by bumblexfox➴ Sugar Daddy/Lovers!AU | Yoongi x Reader | One-Shot➴ Yoongi becomes jealous when your close friend Jungkook puts his hands all over you right infront of his face. So, Yoongi decides to make sure you know who you really belong to.

❥ Dead Leaves by wrienne➴ Detective!AU | Yoongi x Reader x Jimin | Series➴ In which you (reader) are a homicide detective about to face the biggest hurdle both of your career and life.

Married to probably the kindest but most boring man you’ve ever met and living in a town where nothing ever seems to happen means life for you is dull. Dull enough to drive you crazy with boredom and dissatisfaction. However, life changes abruptly when your old boss retires and a new man takes his place - a man you used to love (and sleep very regularly with) more than a decade ago. Especially when your husband comes home smelling of perfume, you’re unable to resist your more carnal urges and dead women start showing up across the city with unnerving frequency.

❥ Hyung, Open the Door by @gotmetalkinginmysleep➴ Idol!AU | Yoongi x Reader x Taehyung x Jungkook | One-Shot➴ You’ve been keeping the boys awake with your moaning for months thanks to Yoongi. Tae and Jungkook want to find out why.

Jung Hoseok 

❥ Flight 18 by @noona-la-la-la➴ Idol!AU | Hoseok x Reader | One-Shot➴ Korean Air Flight 18 leaves daily from Los Angeles traveling to Seoul. You’ve taken this flight before, but this time you’ve got an irritating passenger in the neighboring seat. Little did you know that he would end up giving you the ride of your life.

❥ See Both Sides Like Chanel by @minflix➴ Rich Kids/FWB!AU | Namjoon x Reader x Hoseok | One-Shot➴ You, Namjoon, and Hoseok are inseparable. Three best friends that grew up together since you were all in diapers.

But lately, Namjoon has been drifting away…

So on his birthday, you and Hoseok remind him just how inseparable the three of you really are.

⤷ or alternatively: a little less twenty-one candles, a little more “touch me”

❥ Langour by @littlemisskookie➴ Step-Siblings!AU | Hoseok x Reader | One-Shot➴ Hoseok’s got a lust-driven thirst for his step sister.

Park Jimin

❥ Sharing is Caring by @littlemisskookie➴ Prostitution!AU | Seokjin x Reader x Jimin | One-Shot➴ Jin graciously decides to loan you to handsome Park Jimin for the night.

❥ Power Play by @dovechim➴ Pornstar!AU | Jimin x Reader | One-Shot➴ You know him as the A-lister of all porn stars; a man who sits pretty in his place at the top of the food chain. But you also know him as the Park Jimin who single-handedly humiliated you and ruined your own career as a rookie just starting out, the epitome of the biggest dick in the entire industry… and you’re not talking about his assets. But when Park Jimin comes to you, saying he’s in a slump that only you can get him out of and begs you to sign an exclusive contract with him; things get messy… in more ways than one.

❥ Neighbors by @jkeuphoriadreamland➴ Neighbors!AU | Jimin x Reader | Series➴ Finally achieving your successes in life you never expected the distraction that came with your new hot neighbor. He, however, had been trying to get your attention for a much different reason.

Kim Taehyung & Jeon Jungkook (because majority of my fave filth includes these two ~ I am breaking the 3 fics list for them because I can dsjkhfkjasdhf)

❥ Clandestine by @ditzymax➴ Assassin!AU | Taehyung x Named OC x Jungkook | Series➴  As a professional assassin, Kim Kinsoo has many shrouded secrets in her life. Some of them she shares openly with her loving boyfriend, but there are other things he must never know.

❥ Shameless by @imaginethisbts➴ Voyeurism/Exhibitionism!AU | Taehyung x Reader x Jungkook | One-Shot➴ Taehyung’s the new guy in town, just trying to make some friends. And when Jungkook invites him to a party, he thinks he’s finally gotten a good opportunity to meet some new people. But what he doesn’t expect is witnessing his new friend Jungkook and his girlfriend, you, getting it on in front of him, and all of the other guys, at this so-called party. 

❥ When You Least Expect It by @johobi➴ F2L/Lovers!AU | Taehyung x Reader x Jungkook | Series➴ You’re in love with your childhood friend, Taehyung. The problem is, you treasure your friendship with him far too much to ever risk losing it. Oh, and he’s quite the Casanova. At your wits’ end with feelings you can no longer hide as diligently as you once did, you ask him to set you up with someone, anyone, in a last-ditch attempt to avoid a heartbreaking conversation.

❥ Stealing the Bite by @wildernessuntothemselves➴ Supernatural!AU | Taehyung x Reader x Jungkook | Series➴ In a world populated by the supernatural, witches were the most despised and mistrusted of creatures. Everyone desired to make use of their powers but no one was willing to be seen openly conferring with them. And so there came to pass a heinous practice: Small covens of witches were isolated and kept under wraps in every kingdom, to be utilized when needed, and kept under close watch to prevent them from rebelling. 

Growing up in a kingdom ruled by werewolves, abuse and scorn were a fact of life, but you were determined to put an end to it. You devised a devious plan to gain power, and it involved a certain prince.

❥ The Doms Next Door by @tatertotthethot➴ Poly/Tattoo!AU | Taehyung x Reader x Jungkook | Series➴ In which you unknowingly accept the offer to become a tattoo model for the two, sexually-crazed men next door.

❥ Maid for You by @forgottenpasta➴ Idol!AU | Taehyung x Reader x Jungkook | One-Shot➴ As Bangtan’s dorm maid you’re expected to be professional, your identity anonymous. Until Jeongguk finds you on your knees beside his bed, with his rolex in your hand.

❥ Into Temptation by coconutty➴ Demon!AU | Taehyung x Reader x Jungkook | Series➴ It was just a dare…

❥ Lust and Errors by @imaginethisbts➴ Step-Siblings!AU | Jungkook x Reader | Series➴ Stepbrother, fuck buddy… They were one and the same now. But what started out as some mindless fucking game, quickly turns into something much more difficult and complex.

❥ What’s Mine is Mine by @avveh➴ Idol!AU | Jungkook x Reader | One-Shot ➴ You caught his eye from day one. As far as Jungkook was concerned, you were always meant to be his.

❥ This Isn’t Love Darling by @junqkook➴ Mafia/Escort!AU | Jungkook x Reader | One-Shot➴ He tasted of an empty night and an eclipsing moon, with blood on his hands and fire in his eyes when he put his mouth on yours.

❥ Illicit Photography by @jkeuphoriadreamland➴ University/Photography!AU | Jungkook x Reader | Series➴ You’re a well respected university professor who assigns a portfolio project to your photography students, but your best student, Jungkook, doesn’t follow the rules very well.

❥ My Way by @ellieljade➴ Fuckbuddy!AU | Jungkook x Reader | Series➴ Jungkook doesn’t appreciate your boyfriend’s insistence that he stop sleeping with you and he knows just how to prove that you like it his way.

OT7

❥ Moth to Flame by @bang-to-the-tan➴ Vampire!AU | OT7 x Reader | Series➴ Robbed of your memories and intended as a birthday present for a deadly creature of the night, you unwittingly become the center of a territorial dispute between two covens of vampires. Tensions are rising and the brothers are getting hungry.

❥ Void by @btssavedmylifeblr➴ Space!AU | OT7 x Reader | Series➴ You are the only female crew member on a 12-year space mission with seven handsome men. The sexual tension is real, y’all.

❥ Temptation Series by @yminie➴ Idol!AU | OT7 x Reader | Series➴ Sleeping Temptation : Yoongi and Jimin come home to find you asleep on the couch. To say they were happy they beat the other members back would be an understatement.

➴ Waking Temptation : Hoseok, Taehyung and Namjoon are home, and you’re not asleep anymore.

➴ Sweeter Temptation : After an eventful evening, it’s the morning after and Jin’s there to take care of you.

➴ Breaking Temptation : Jungkook ditches movie night for other activities, and you’re not impressed.

❥ Seven Deadly Sins by @mintedmango➴ Demon!AU | OT7 x Reader | Series➴ You stood suddenly, chair being pushed away by the backs of your legs, the rest of the sins standing with you as you looked around in panic. All except Sloth who was out cold in the corner.“Oh, little pet, indeed, I am still hungry.”

❥ Physcom by @teawithkpop➴ Idol!AU | OT7 x Reader | Series➴ AU where live-in Physical Companions are provided to k-pop groups so the members can relieve their sexual related stress and tension - around their busy schedules, of course. You are one such “PhysCom”. However, complications arise when the BTS members start harboring romantic feelings for you. Feelings you’re not sure you can reject with any believable amount of conviction. Such a scandal could result in getting both you and them fired and exposed, ruining any future career options for all parties involved… it turns out the “com” in PhysCom might as well stand for complications.

❥ Cum by @honeymoonjin➴ Idol!AU | OT7 x Reader | Two-Shot➴ An episode of Run! BTS in which the seven members compete to see who can make you cum first.

❥ The Gentlemen’s Club by @brookelegend➴ Club!AU | OT7 x Reader (Hobi-Centric) | Series➴ You’ve been in a dating drought, more specifically, a sex drought. Your best friend has the perfect remedy for your problem: The Gentlemen’s Club.

[fanfictionaries]

Oh So Many Years: Ch. 5 - It Was You

Pairing: Hermione Granger x Fred Weasley

Summary:

Just when Hermione thought nothing worse could plague her than her constant nightmare, she has a very different kind of dream. How is she ever going to look Ronald in the face again? All she wanted was to do well in her classes, get S.P.E.W. off the ground, and finally get a good nights sleep.

Fred continues to find himself more than amazed at the infinite facets of Hermione Granger.

Warnings: Swearing, Death, Smut/18+ NSFW

Author’s Note: A second update this week because I like you guys so much! :) 

I will now be updating this story every week before midnight on Sundays (US MST)! Please feel free to like, comment, and reblog! xoxo

Masterlist

<< Chapter 4

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Moments fall like crimson nights Some stick to my skin tonight Take a breath and shake them off Eyes ahead, don't you wait too long

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“If I have to write one more word about the goblin rebellions, I think I might off myself.” Ron threw down his quill, ink splotching across this parchment, and let his head fall into his hands.

“Be careful. If you do, I guarantee Professor Trelawney will say she predicted it all along because Venus was in retrograde and you’re a Pisces,” Harry responded flatly, resulting in a smile from Ron.

Hermione would never admit it, but she secretly agreed with Ron. While not quite as distressed as her ginger friend, she did find the weekly essays assigned by Professor Binns tedious and incredibly lacking in challenge. Perhaps she found the whole thing tiresome because she already knew everything there was to know about the goblin rebellions, but it also didn’t help that the ghostly professor was about as exciting as an old shoe.

“Hermione…” Ron drew out her name like he had just come to an idea. Hermione, very familiar with this tone, knew exactly what his idea was.

“No,” she responded sternly, scribbling away at her own parchment about the various defense tactics utilized by the goblins.

“Pleeeaaase?”

“No.”

“Pleeeeeeaaaaaaase?”

She sighed. “I will edit and revise Ronald Weasley, and nothing more.”

“You’re the best, honestly.” Ron grinned and picked up his quill again, dipping it in his ink and scribbling away with renewed energy. His stupid grin made Hermione smile and roll her eyes before returning to her own essay. While she wished that Ron and Harry could just do their own work themselves, she did realize that not everyone had the discipline that she had. However, that didn’t mean she had to stop trying to get them to work harder. She knew for a fact that their potential far exceeded their marks.

They worked in silence for a while, the scratching of quill on parchment and shuffle of students walking past filling Hermione’s ears as her brain turned over, pulling out fact after fact.

In a blazing sense of pride, she finished her last sentence, tying her conclusion together perfectly, and placed her quill down on the table. At the click, both Ron and Harry looked over to her with wide eyes of disbelief.

“You’re finished already?” gaped Harry.

“I’ve barely gotten three paragraphs written. How can you possibly be finished already?!” exclaimed Ron. Hermione shushed him, glancing over at Madame Pince’s disapproving glare.

“Some of us, Ronald, utilize our time efficiently,” Hermione responded coolly as she placed her things back into her bag. She didn’t bother mentioning that she spent her last three hours in the library as opposed to their meager thirty minutes, or that she took her break after morning Transfiguration to study as well. Her eyes itched from staring at off-white pages and black script and for once she finished all her work and read ahead in all her classes. It probably had something to do with the fact that she was attending five less classes than the previous year.

There was also the small fact that she no longer slept. Nearly a month into school and she still barely slept four hours a night. When panic inducing nightmares weren’t causing her to toss and turn, she was studying. And when she wasn’t studying, she was working on her new endeavor – the Society for the Promotion of Elfish Welfare, otherwise known as S.P.E.W. Ever since the Quidditch World Cup and the horrid treatment of Winky, the house elf, she knew she had to do something. This became even more clear when she found out Hogwarts was run almost entirely on house elf labor. In all her years never did she imagine that her beloved school used essentially slavery to cook and clean. It was wrong. It was barbaric. One would assume that in a world filled with magic, where one was only limited to the bounds of one’s imagination, they would be a bit more progressive. Unfortunately, though, it seemed to be the opposite. In fact, Hermione had never met a group of people so routed in their ways as the wizarding world. Of course, it would be foolish to assume that an entire world would be impermeable to prejudices when the muggle world was not.

Therefore, where all of her time was normally spent in the Gryffindor common room with Harry and Ron or watching the Gryffindor quidditch team practice on the pitch, she now spent it nose deep in a book or attempting to recruit new S.P.E.W. members. Her absence had not gone unnoticed – in fact, it became so blatantly clear that Harry confronted her outright between Herbology and Care of Magical Creatures.  

“I don’t understand Hermione, is it something I’ve done?” Harry ran a hand through his unruly locks, distress obvious on his face.

“No, it’s nothing you’ve done Harry,” Hermione picked at her nails, feeling uncomfortable.

“Was it, Ron? I’m sure whatever he said, he didn’t mean it.” Hermione ignored the grating irritation at Harry’s blind defense of Ronald.

“No, it’s not Ron.”

“Then what? Come on Hermione, you know you can tell me anything.”

Hermione looked at her best friend and sighed. His kind eyes shone from behind his round spectacles with sincerity and concern.

“I’m not avoiding you or Ron. I’m just stressed about our O.W.L.s next year—" she paused “—You can never be too prepared, and I need to do well on them.”

Harry looked at her with a confused expression, “Hermione, they’re not for another year! Are you seriously stressing over something so far away?”  

“Yes? No? I guess…I guess I’m just used to studying all the time. You know, what with the time-turner last year and all. And then of course there’s S.P.E.W. No one seems to care at all that these poor elves are being worked day and night without any pay. I mean, it’s horrendous!” Hermione half-lied, feeling stupid as the words left her mouth. She wanted to be honest with Harry, but she didn’t know how. The real reason felt stupid. What was she to say? Sorry I’ve thrust myself into my work more than ever Harry; I just can’t stop having nightmares about something that happened nearly two months ago and I’m trying to distract myself.

She felt a hand on her shoulder, “I get it.”

“You do?” His remark caught her off guard as she wasn’t even sure if she understood it.

“You’re an absolute swot. Don’t get me wrong, we all love that about you, but you need to learn when to relax and have some fun,” Harry finished with a grin.

“You prat—” Hermione hit his arm with the back of her book “—Don’t call me a swot. But you’re right. I need balance.”  

“And I guess as appointed Secretary of S.P.E.W., I could do a bit more for the cause.”

Hermione lit up at the words. “Really? Oh Harry, thank you so much! I’m making more buttons tonight, maybe you could help me? Then tomorrow we can try and canvas some of the other houses for new members!”

“Well, if you’re so efficient, you should be able to help me finish mine!” argued Ron desperately, bringing Hermione back to the present.

“Ronald, I told you before. I’m not doing your assignment for you. You have to learn it on your own,” she whispered.

“When am I ever going to need to know about all the goblin leaders? Besides, you like doing this sort of stuff.”

“Ronald, I said n—”

“Lovers’ quarrel?”

Merlin, Hermione thought at the sound of unified voices. Rolling her eyes, she turned to see Fred and George standing behind her.

“Hey Fred, hey George,” Harry greeted them cheerfully, placing his quill down – happy for an excuse to stop working.

“Hullo Harry,” they responded in unison.

“Any progress on entering our names for the tournament?” Ron asked expectantly. Much to Hermione’s disproval, Fred and George promised him a try at whatever they whipped up as soon as they knew it was successful, and Ron had not stopped talking about it.

“We’re nearly there,” George grinned.

“So, we’ll know in about two days whether it works or not,” said Fred, leaning against a bookshelf casually. Two days? Hermione thought with alarm. Was it really the 29th of October already? That meant the students from Beauxbaton and Durmstrang, the other competing schools, were to arrive tomorrow evening! She needed to go back to her dormitory and rework her schedule. She had no room to pencil in excitement and new student arrival that week. She opened her planner to begin revising.

“How confident are you that it’ll work?” asked Ron, leaning forward in excitement.

“Extremely,” the twins answered.

Hermione let out an indecent snort and rolled her eyes again. Fools.

“Something you’d like to add Granger?” asked George, looking over at her.

“Yes, hullo to you also. So nice of you to acknowledge us in a friendly manner,” accused Fred sarcastically.

“I think some lessons are best learned through experience, rather than lecture,” said Hermione, carefully picking her words before tucking her planner into her bag and slinging it over her shoulder.

“But you love to lecture us, are you sure you aren’t raring to tell us how wrong we are?” asked Fred, fluttering his eyelashes sweetly.

Hermione gave a short laugh, “Please. I know a lost cause when I see one.”

“A lost cause? You hear that Georgie? We’re a lost cause.”

“I don’t know…sounds to me like she’s just afraid of a challenge Freddie.”

“It’s not a challenge if all I’m doing is slowly melting my brain trying to reason with the pair of you,” scoffed Hermione.

“Oh, I can melt your brain just fine, if that’s what you’d like,” stated Fred, stepping forward cockily.

“Is your wit really so primitive that you have to resort to sexual innuendo all the time?” Hermione asked, her heart rate picking up in her chest as their conversation turned more heated.

“Sexual innuendo? I have no idea what you’re referring to Granger. I was merely saying I might be smarter than you think. Are you sure you aren’t projecting a bit there?”

“You’re a child,” Hermione bit back, feathers ruffled that Fred seemed to be over his initial shock response to her comebacks and instead was meeting her beat for beat. His eyes held a shine to them as he smiled down at her in excitement.

“Resorting to name-calling now? I thought higher of you,” sighed Fred, tapping the end of her nose condescendingly. Hermione batted his hand away, feeling her hair begin to crackle. She was getting too upset. She needed to calm down and show him that she was better than him.

Taking a small, calming breath, she straightened her posture before replying, “That doesn’t surprise me Frederick. I’m sure it’s easy to think highly of me when your potential is so low.”

Hermione took that moment to make her exit. Turning on her heel, she walked out of the library, not bothering to say goodbye to anyone. A warm flush covered her face and bled down her neck as she scurried through the halls. Adrenaline pumped through her system. Despite his ample fight, she felt quite confident that she won the battle. His lack of biting response as she left, supported as much. Departing before he could speak might have been a cheap way to go about it, but she reasoned there was no clean way to fight when it came to the Weasley twins. A small giggle bubbled up in her chest as she replayed the conversation in her head. Invigorated by the whole event, she ran the rest of the way to the Gryffindor tower. Rounding corners and sprinting up staircases, exhaustion filled her small frame by the time she came upon the portrait of the Fat Lady. Her lungs ached from the exercise and her shoulder and back ached from the heavy books weighing her bag down. She gasped the password through pants and entered as she tried to catch her breath. Fellow Gryffindors cast odd looks in her direction as she scurried up the stairs to the girls’ dormitories, but she didn’t care. Her room was empty and for that she was grateful. The last thing she wanted was a forced conversation with Lavender or Pavarti. Perhaps the physical exertion would act as a sleeping agent and she would finally fall into a deep and peaceful sleep. Best to ride the wave and go to bed while I’m still tired¸ she thought. Sluggishly, she changed out of her uniform and crawled into bed. Nagging thoughts tugged at the back of her mind, telling her to brush her teeth, but the exhaustion in her body told her to sleep. Ultimately her body won, and sleep took over.

Hermione’s mind swam the next day as she sat in double potions with the Slytherins. It was nearing the end of class and Professor Snape was taking the time to explain to them why their potions had been improperly brewed in one way or another. Hermione’s hadn’t of course, but that didn’t stop him from berating her for being an ‘insufferable little know-it-all’, and then accusing her of helping any student that didn’t manage to burn a hole in their cauldrons. She diligently took notes as Snape droned on and on, but her mind failed to connect to the words she was writing down on the parchment. All thoughts and worries were currently focused on an embarrassing personal crisis. The dream.

While Hermione thought nightmares were the worst thing, she could possibly endure in her sleeping state, she had to admit she had been wrong. No, apparently there was something much, much worse stewing in her brain waiting for vulnerable unconsciousness to leap out and take form.

She had been in the library, wandering through the sections of towering shelves when she appeared in a section, she was unfamiliar with. Turning a corner her eyes grew wide at the sight of two older students locked in an intimate embrace. Her heart started to race, and her breathing began to pick up as she felt a tingling sensation in the pit of her stomach. She tried to leave but found herself unable to move – her feet glued to the floor. That’s when she felt a pair of arms wrap around her waist and a pair of lips kissing up her neck. Her hands went up, one grabbing at the fingers that dug roughly into her flesh and the other threading itself through long thick hair. She turned her head only to see that the hair between her fingers was a brilliant shade of ginger. The realization was so shocking to her that she awoke from her dream, sitting ramrod straight – heart pounding, sweat-slicked, and breathing heavily.

Her face blushed just thinking about it. Turning her head casually to the right, she spied one of her best friends. Ronald Weasley sat next to Harry, slumped forward in his seat, head resting in his hand. His long hair hung way past his eyes, concealing them completely. Hermione, knowing Ron, would bet on her life that they were closed, and he was verging on sleep. She knew he wasn’t fully asleep though, because if he were there would be loud snores coming from his direction. Him. He was the one her mind decided to fantasize about. Why? She studied him, her eyes tracing the freckles on the bridge of his nose. He wasn’t bad looking; she always quite liked his hair and pale complexion. He had a kind heart and could be quite charming when he wanted to be, the problem was that rarely did he want to be. He could be quite cruel and insensitive without knowing it, and he didn’t care for much other than Quidditch. Is that really what she wanted in a partner? Hermione scoffed at her mental ramblings. Here she was, wondering if Ronald Weasley were her potential first love without considering that he would probably never be interested in her. After all, her hair was a bushy, frizzy mess, her teeth were far too big for her mouth, and her otherwise plain features left much to be desired. Not to mention her overall swotty personality. Still, hadn’t he told her that she was ‘the best’? And he certainly didn’t mind being her friend. What if he did like her?

“Miss Granger, is there something on Mr. Weasley’s face that’s so interesting that you cannot be bothered to pay attention?” The sound of Professor Snape’s voice brought Hermione out of her thoughts, and she looked up to find all eyes on her. The Slytherins snickered around her, and Ron and Harry looked at her in surprise. Hermione felt her face flush with embarrassment.

“No Professor, my apologies,” she mumbled, looking down at her notes.

“Five points from Gryffindor for Miss Granger’s lack of interest. Class dismissed,” snipped Professor Snape as he turned towards his office. Hermione packed her bag and exited the classroom as quickly as possible.

“What was that all about?” Harry asked, him and Ron catching up to her with ease.

“Sorry guys, I got lost in thought and didn’t realize where I was looking. I guess I should have been paying attention,” Hermione stammered, readjusting her bag on her shoulder.

“No problem Hermione. Snape’s a git and no one blames you. I was almost asleep near the end there too,” Ron piped in with a friendly smile. Hermione felt her stomach flip.

“Thanks Ronald.” She smiled back.

“Looks like we’ve got ourselves a couple of love birds, boys,” Draco Malfoy sneered as he came up beside them. “When’s the wedding? I’m sure it’ll be just lovely, or at least as lovely as five knuts’ll get you.”

Hermione scowled at the silver-hair bully, with all his sharp pointed features and disgustingly greasy demeanor, as he laughed along with his goons. She rolled her eyes and grabbed both Harry and Ron by the arm, leading them on towards the front of the castle. Ridiculous. That’s what she was being. It was ridiculous to waste her time worrying about some absurd dream when that’s all it was – a dream. Besides, she didn’t know for certain it was Ron who she dreamed about. There were plenty of red heads in the world.

Outside the main entrance they found Ginny next to Neville in a crowd of students.

“Did we miss anything?” asked Ron, looking excitedly about.

“Nothing yet, you’ve made it just in time I think!” Ginny exclaimed in glee. The castle was in a fit of excitement. Even the Slytherins, who didn’t find much joy in anything school related, seemed to be chomping at the bit for their guests to arrive and the Triwizard Tournament to finally take off. Hermione, too, was excited but more at the thought of getting to meet students from other magical schools. She had taken the liberty of reading as much as she could on the histories of both Durmstrang and Beauxbaton and was informing Ginny on their key similarities and differences when several gasps and shouts erupted around them.

“Look!” Ginny yelled, pointing up at the sky above them. Hermione followed her finger upwards to see a large horse-drawn carriage flying through the clouds, pulled by a dozen flying horses the size of elephants. She watched as they soared through the air, their wings pumping up and down in synchronization. The size of the horses was comparable to what they were pulling, for as it got closer, Hermione estimated the carriage to be at least twice the size of her home back in Hampstead. The carriage floated prettily, a pale cream embellished with pastel blue designs and gold trim. Obviously of French provincial style, she concluded that this was clearly the Beauxbaton students. So enthralled by the ornate and bordering ostentatious carriage and the horses pulling it, Hermione failed to notice heads turning and mouths gaping at the Black Lake. In fact, her gaze only broke away from the magnificent beasts when Ron elbowed her from behind. She turned to scold him, but caught her tongue when she noticed a daunting, black ship floating on the lake. It rocked back and forth, sending large waves crashing away from it on the usually glass-smooth surface. Hermione thought it very much resembled what happened when you dropped a large rock into a pond and wondered how it got there. Someone was sure to tell her later – there were plenty of witnesses.

“Way to make an entrance!” exclaimed Ron, followed by loud whoops and cheers as he clapped.

“A bit flashy, if you ask me,” Pansy Parkinson sniffed from a nearby group of Slytherins.

“She’s one to talk,” Hermione mumbled under her breath.

“Hah!” a boisterous laugh sounded behind her. Hermione swiveled and caught a pair of hazel eyes looking at her.

Fred leaned towards her. “Nice one Granger,” he complimented over the babble of conversation around them. His warm breath fell on her neck, all too reminiscent of her dream. Her body jerked to attention, heat creeping up her face before she smiled politely and turned away from the older boy.

“They’re coming up to the entrance!” Seamus Finnigan announced. Hermione thanked Merlin for the distraction and looked down the path leading to the front of the castle. Sure enough, there was a large group of individuals walking towards them. As they neared, the Hogwarts students cheered and applauded them, trying to welcome the foreign students like Professor Dumbledore advised. Hermione clapped softly as the first students approached. A tall and unsettling man led the group. His dark hair, speckled with bits of silver, sat heavy on his head, slicked back from his angular face. The sharp features and the long, grey goatee gave him an ominous appearance fueled even further by the deep scowl set into his mouth and piercing black eyes. He wore midnight black robes paired with a brilliantly white fur pelt over his shoulders. Igor Karkaroff. Headmaster of Durmstrang. The students behind him wore robes of deep crimson, the color sharing an eerie resemblance to the color of blood. Like their headmaster, they too donned thick furs to fight the crisp cold, only theirs held a rich color of brown. They looked incredibly warm. Subconsciously, Hermione pulled her wool robes closer around her as a strong breeze blew around them.

“Bloody hell! It’s him!” Ron shouted, his voice taking on a hysterical tone.

“Who?” asked Harry.

“Victor Krum! It’s Victor Krum! Right there in the front!” Ron pushed himself forward and past Hermione to get a better look at the famous Quidditch player coming towards them. With Ron’s tall figure in front of her, she failed to confirm whether the Bulgarian seeker truly lead the group of Durmstrang students. Ron’s excitement only increased as the visiting students got closer and then passed them into the castle.

“Ronald! I can’t see!” Hermione pounded lightly on Ron’s back with her fists until he snapped out of his star struck trance. The ginger boy turned around, a sheepish grin across his face.

“Sorry about that Hermione. Here.” Awkwardly, Ron shifted over and led Hermione to the front by her waist. For the second time that afternoon a Weasley boy reminded her of her dream, Ron’s touch all too like the arms that held her sensually the night before. She took a small step forward, putting distance between herself and Ron’s grasp. The students from Beauxbaton were the next to make their way down the path. The crowd gawked at the elegant French students as they walked poised and beautiful down the cobblestone in their blue silk uniforms. Hermione, on the other hand couldn’t help but find them annoying. They shivered and chattered their teeth in such an exaggerated manner and looked up at the castle with such disgust and judgement that she immediately took a disliking to them.

“For Merlin’s sake! It’s not that cold,” Hermione groaned as the boys and girls huddled together for warmth. Hermione thought them incredibly rude and found it idiotic that they did not think to wear warmer robes. However, someone in their party evidently had sense, as their headmistress sauntered up the path in a heavy shawl, completely unbothered by the cold. Although, Hermione wasn’t sure anything could bother the woman as she stood twelve feet tall and sturdy. A neutral expression, bored some might even call it, covered her face and despite her size, she too glided gracefully across the ground. As they walked past, Hermione could hear little bits and pieces of snide remarks from the Beauxbaton students. Apparently, they thought Hogwarts would be much nicer than it was. Hermione couldn’t believe her ears. She assumed that as guests, they would have much better manners.

“Honestly, can you believe that rubbish?” Hermione exclaimed, turning to Ron and Harry behind her. Instead of meeting commiserating sentiments like she expected, the pair continued to stare at the Beauxbaton students until they disappeared completely into the castle. Their mouths hung open widely, making them look quite dumb, and Hermione turned to Ginny with a questioning look. Ginny shrugged, also confused over her brother and Harry’s behavior.

Hermione waved her hand in front of the pairs’ faces.

“Hullo! Are you two listening to me?” she asked, frowning.

“Bloody hell, did you see her?” Ron asked, in more of a trance than when he saw Krum.

“Yeah…” Harry said dreamily.

“See who?” Hermione questioned. What was wrong with them? They hadn’t acted like this since…oh goodness. Not since the Veelas at the Quidditch World Cup.

“Ahhhh it seems our poor baby brother has fallen victim,” George stated woefully, placing a hand on Hermione’s shoulder. She looked up at him and then back down at his hand.

“Why are you fine?” she asked, shrugging off his hand.

“Oh, Alicia and Angelina were sure to snap us out of it,” Fred stated, then placing his hand on her shoulder.

“And how exactly did they do that?” She raised an eyebrow, shrugging off his hand as well.

“Like this!” the twins shouted before reeling back and smacking both Harry and Ron in the back of the head. The two fourth year Gryffindors yelled out in pain, grasping at their heads before spinning around and glaring at Fred and George.

“What the hell was that for?!” Harry barked.

“You were drooling mates,” George smirked.

“And it’s time to go back in,” Fred pointed behind them at the entrance to the castle where most of the students were filing through already.

They followed the crowd back into the castle and through the corridor into the Great Hall. It seemed the Durmstrang students took a special liking to the Slytherins as almost all of them were seated at their table. The Beauxbaton students seated themselves at the Ravenclaw table, much to Ronald’s disdain. And it was Ronald’s unhappiness that also fueled Hermione’s sore mood as well. Silently she ate her dinner and watched as Ron fawned and drooled and ogled the girls from Beauxbaton for the entirety of the night. When a particularly pretty one approached their table asking him for the bouillabaisse, Ron was left speechless.

“Honestly, Ronald. She’s just a girl. You know, like every other girl in this school. Including myself,” Hermione tried to reason with him.

Eyes still trained on the French beauty, Ron responded with incredulity, “That’s ridiculous Hermione. She’s no girl. That right there is a woman. Leagues above any girl here at Hogwarts.”

A woman? What did that even mean? She was only a few years older than Hermione. She didn’t even look that much older. Hermione turned her attention back to the food on her plate and found that she had lost her appetite. So instead, she pulled a book from her bag and buried herself behind it, slowly sinking lower into her seat as the night went on. She missed the moment they revealed the cup that competitors were to put their name in, too engrossed in the words on the page, and when dinner was over, she was the first to leave the Great Hall. Only, she didn’t head straight for the common room like she usually did. Instead, her feet carried her through the castle until she found herself in the library once again. As she seated herself in her favorite corner, she was reminded of something Professor Trelawney had said her third year. ‘Oh you may be young in years, but the heart that beats beneath your bosom is as shriveled as an old maid’s, your soul as dry as the pages of the books to which you so desperately cleave.’

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“Another potion successfully made brother.” Fred grinned, stretching the muscles in his neck and back.

Fred and George Weasley currently sat in an abandoned classroom as they finished the answer to all their problems. Well past curfew, the pair had just filled two vials with the clear aging potion and capped them triumphantly.

“I’d say that one was particularly easy, wouldn’t you?” George replied, standing up.

“As easy as beating Percy in a game of wits.”

“Off to bed then?”

“Actually, I think I may pop down to the kitchen and grab myself a bite to eat. Clean up here?” Fred asked, motioning around the room. The classroom was their own personal haven; tucked away in an old corner of the castle that few ventured it was their go-to space for all their inventing and brewing needs. It was only thanks to their time with the Marauder’s Map that they knew about it.

“Yeah. See you in the morning Freddie.” George waved goodbye as Fred exited the classroom and headed down towards the kitchens. The low light of the hallway candles washed the castle in a soft glow that contrasted with the icy chill of nighttime. The castle was always cold at night. However, the frigid temperature didn’t bother Fred Weasley as much as usual that night. He was far too excited to be bothered by much of anything, really. Tomorrow was the big day. They were going to enter their names into the Goblet of Fire, and it was going to be glorious. Fred had no idea if one of them would even be picked to compete, but just the idea of winning the prize money was enough to keep a spring in his step and a surge of determination coursing through his veins.

He kept quiet as he tip-toed through the halls, just in case Filch was lurking around corners. Turning down the last corridor he was surprised to see, not the scraggly old Mr. Filch, but the familiar figure of a bushy-haired fourth year. Hermione Granger stood in front of a picture on the wall, the torches in front of her illuminating her and making her hair glow like an ethereal halo.

“Hermione?”

She spun around, glancing back and forth, looking like a frightened animal. Fred stepped closer, out of the shadows so she could see him more clearly. He watched her relax, her shoulders dropping from her ears and slumping forward. She laughed lightly.

“Merlin’s beard, Frederick! You scared me!” Hermione exclaimed with an edge of relief in her voice.

“Shhhh!” Fred hushed her, rushing forward, and covering her mouth with his hand. “Do you want to wake the whole castle with your yelling or just Filch in particular?”

Hermione’s eyes widened in alarm. She stiffened beneath him, the two of them silently listening for any signs of Filch or his wretched cat, Mrs. Norris. When Fred failed to hear anything, he let out a breath of relief and looked down at the little witch in his arms. Suddenly he was awash with the memory of the last time the two of them had been that close. The night in the forest when they were hiding for their lives. He removed his hand and stepped back.

“I didn’t realize it was so late. I was coming back from the library and decided to go for a bit of a walk,” whispered Hermione, looking up at him under the glowing light of the torches. “How are we going to get back to the tower without being seen?”  

“Simple. I know a shortcut. Come on.” Fred grabbed Hermione’s hand, pulling her along with him down the corridor. Her hand was small and cold but fit surprisingly well in his own. His stomach growled, and mournfully he thought of the late-night snack he originally set out to get. He continued down the halls at a quick pace until they reached the tapestry he had been looking for. Tapping his wand five times at its center, he pulled back the tapestry to reveal a hidden passageway. He let go of Hermione’s hand and the two slipped behind the tapestry, letting it fall back into place behind them.

“Lumos,” Fred spoke softly, lighting the dark space with the tip of his wand.

“Amazing, this must be one of the secret passageways on the Marauders’ Map,” marveled Hermione.

They made their way down the narrow passage, taking up a leisurely pace, not feeling the pressure of getting caught by Filch or his cat. The shuffling of their feet on the cold stone filled the silent space around them as they climbed up stairways and weaved around corners. As they walked, a nagging thought pricked at the back of Fred’s mind until he couldn’t help but voice it.

“So, walks about the castle past curfew. I didn’t take you for the type Granger,” Fred teased. Hermione let out a loud and vulgar scoff. Fred turned, looking down at her incredulously, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

The young witch lifted her chin in indignation, “What sort of type did you take me for?”

Fred shrugged, “You know, the good girl type. Doesn’t get into trouble. Doesn’t break rules. Perfect Prefect material.”

“I’ll have you know I break plenty of rules.”

“Yeah, but only when it’s Harry or Ron’s idea,” pressed Fred, hoping to goad her into revealing something he didn’t already know.

“That’s not true!” She turned her head and glared at him.

“No, don’t believe it.” Fred shook his head.

“Well, believe it because it’s true.”

“Prove it.”

“Prove it?”

“Yeah, tell me one rule that you’ve broken that wasn’t Harry or Ron’s idea.” He glanced at the younger witch out of the corner of his eye. Her brows were scrunched together, her pink lips pouting as she thought. Then her face opened in excitement, eyebrows lifting and mouth opening, revealing her large front teeth below her upper lip.

“In first year, it was my idea for Harry to sneak into the restricted section of the library over Christmas holiday,” she stated proudly.

“That doesn’t count! You only thought of the idea; you made Harry do all the dirty work,” countered Fred.

“Alright, in second year I brewed Polyjuice in the girl’s lavatory and nicked lacewing flies from Professor Snape’s office to do it,” said Hermione triumphantly as they reached the end of the passageway, coming out the other side right next to the portrait of the Fat Lady. Hermione spun around, crossing her arms in front of her as she waited for his response.

“Who’d have thought that the Hermione Granger was such a delinquent,” praised Fred, grinning widely. He was truly impressed. He had no idea that the bright little witch had it in her to steal from a teacher.

Hermione sniffed haughtily. “That’ll teach you to underestimate me, Frederick Weasley,” she stated coolly, but her golden brown eyes shown with flee, like he had just given her the best compliment in the world. He then watched in awe as she turned around, mutter the password, and disappeared through the portrait into Gryffindor tower.

“It sure will Granger, it sure will.”

Chapter 6 >>

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