#there is more to be said about how documentaries in general are handled but

[pulpvein]

watching documentaries is like Terrible news: the worst person in the world just got a sit down interview in this

[zombiee-reviews]

Ranach character discussion/breakdown -

• The suddenly cured narcissist • The unredeemable • The Oreo

Hello ladies and gents, I decided to do a documentary on our fellow “antagonist” Ranach, from the comic Home.

You are also welcome in adding anything in your own reblog or the comments!

I decided to target Ranach for a breakdown / discussion for the following reasons:

• A little on Ranachs early / family life.

• Rogio is hellbent saying Ranach was a huge abuser in his life.

• Ranachs whole 180 plot line.

• How the author glorifies this character.

• Ranachs character in general.

• A little of a different perspective on how Kique COULD have redeemed Ranach.

-

ALRIGHT. I am going to start off with what is shown in the comic with Ranachs early years and speculation from what other characters have said about him and also his prior MT living situation.

Ranach, son of Arenak and Vandi. Ranach seemed to live a rather rough life as a pup, shown from flashbacks. Obviously this sprouted a rather mean / vengeful adult character. What is interesting to me in the comic, is how Vandi never talked / or addressed Ranach has her son. If we didn’t have the wiki, none of us would have a single clue that Vandi is Ranachs mother. There have been many opportunities for Vandi to expose this to anyone, or even show Vandi in a flashback… But Kique relies too strongly on the wiki and hopes we all do the same.

I for one, if this was my comic, would have had Vandi mention that Ranach is her son when she asks Ronja why she chose to mate with him.

Simply putting something like:

“Why did you choose to mate with my dastardly son Ranach?”

Or something indicating that she IS Ranachs mother in the story.

It is also interesting to me, that Ranach obviously has some kind of bond with his mother, more so than his father. It can be seen when Arenak is holding Ranach over the Tribe wall, dangling him over the night beasts as Ranach calls for his mother.

It is obvious that Ranach has this sort of empathy later in the story, like he shows for Rogio, so why does he never try to help his mother out of MT? Oh that’s right, cause this was before Kique decided he wanted to attempt to redeem Ranach and make him an empathetic character.

If Kique wanted to redeem Ranach so badly from the beginning, why did he not implement this? Sure, Ranach was born into MT, a choice not of his own. But why didn’t he rebel with Kargo and Ferah, or even try to save some females? His mother?

Jonna tells Ronja that Ranach was rarely seen with a female, but Ranach still supported the rape tribe by simply NOT DOING ANYTHING and possibly taking females against their will. Unless, Ranach was forced to rape females.. It is not ever shown.

One would think Ranach would have the most fuel to go against his father and overthrow him and save the females. It’s clear Ranach was at least SOMEWHAT against what MT stood for, because he changed things in the Tribe when he took over. But this does not make him a good guy, because he didn’t act on what was right and try to make a better life for the females, or rebel with Kargo and Ferah.

Now if this was handled by a REAL writer, Ranach would have rebelled with Kargo and Ferah, killing his father himself and taking the reins to better the life of MT and its females. Sure, you can still make Ranach a cocky asshole, if that’s what you want. But at least you can redeem him in that situation. And really, that should have ended his arc right there. Because it’s clear to me that Kique can’t decide whether to make Ranach empathetic or narcissistic. Kique has this tendency of changing characters personalities to better fit what scene is happening in the moment. And most of the time it’s to go along with whatever that may be. Kique never shows the characters protesting against anything that is wrong in this story. Because Kique believes that females should be slaves to males.

-

Onto the next thing, Rogio and Ranachs relationship.

I have already made a pretty brief doc about the pairs relationship previously, but I am going to address it once more.

Rogio was brought into MT by Ranach finding him badly wounded from the spirit that attacked Snowcap Tribe (Rogio’s previous Tribe ). Arenak tells Ranach he is wasting time / resources on a stranger and Ranach takes pity on Rogio and tells his father he will make sure Rogio makes it.

It is quite obvious to me that Ranach has a lick of empathy and it is quite a deep empathy. Kique tries to portray Ranach as a Narcissist, but Narcissists do not have a deep empathy for individuals like Ranach shows for Rogio. Now if you wanted to make Ranach narcissistic, you could show that he is obsessed with wanting to CONTROL Rogio, not flesh out scenes where Ranach is talking about him in deep intimacy.

This empathy for Rogio obviously buds a relationship between the two. Why / how Rogio falls in love with Ranach and MT is unknown. Why Rogio even chooses to stay with MT knowing the whole situation is bizarre and unknown. But this doc is not about him.

My guess, showing how Ranach actually is portrayed in the comic, is that Rogio fancied him and enjoyed the things Ranach said and did for him.

Sure, Ranach is shown to be a liar towards Rogio in some circumstances. But I don’t see any abuse from Ranach. If anything, Rogio was almost always the physical aggressor when it came to them arguing. So if anything, Rogio is the damn abuser lol.

Then came the time when Ranach attempted to sacrifice Rogio to a spirit, thinking that simply killing him would make the feelings and emotions go away. ( Something a narcissist does not have. ) We are then yoinked in a direction where Rogio is miraculously saved in time, unbeknownst to Ranach.

After this, we are then shown Ranach is losing his absolute mind over losing Rogio, even abandoning the Tribe and doing absolutely anything in his power to bring him back to life. And then, we are shown that soft side again when the spirit asks for Ranachs unborn and Ranach denies giving them up. A narcissistic character would have yeeted them kids fast af, if it meant benefiting them.

Eventually, Ranach returns to MT and is greeted with bared teeth and raised hackles, as he should have been greeted, he abandoned the damn tribe over a cuck like Rogio. ( it is interesting how almost every main character is Rogio’s foot licker anymore. )

And then he attacks the Tribe, kills Kargo and suddenly cant smell Rogio’s stank anywhere in the vicinity. ( face palm )

-

My next point on Ranach, is his whole 180 plot line once he takes off from Roamer, after killing Kargo.

Ranach is seen killing Kargo and fleeing MT, as he runs away from the useless main character, Roamer.

We are then blessed with more scenes, showing Ranach has fled to a rag tag group known as South Spear. Now as a reader, my first thought seeing Ranach join up with South Spear and his hidden smirks after speaking with members / the viscountess.. One would think Ranach is boiling a plan to get SS to join him in a war against MT. Because obviously, for a good chunk of the story Ranach wanted to destroy Ronja and MT.

But NOPE. Kique wanted to use South Spear as a doggie nsfw orgy for Ranach, so he could scratch that itch his nasty zoophile followers / himself have. Then suddenly, when they are jumped by bounty hunters, Ranach suddenly drops the existence of MT out of his mind and wants to suddenly become this notorious hero and destroy the capital, because he totally cared about this before.

And now we’re faced with a once narcissistic character, who has empathy for others and wants to make the lives of others right, including all of Aedra. Kique, buddy, once you’re a narcissist, you’re always a narcissist, learn to write a narcissistic character properly. Let me give you some tips, narcissistic characters don’t give a flying fuck about anyone but themselves, so why are you writing Ranach as a capital worldwide hero that cares for everyone suddenly???

Not only this, but his sick and twisted obsession with Iberon. I will give it partly to Kique, he hadnt changed Iberons personality and he was a pretty solid character, for Kique standards. But of course, his zoophile tendencies couldn’t help themselves and he suddenly changed Iberon to love up on Ranach, even though before he was extremely suspicious of him and absolutely hated Ranachs fucking guts. ANYWAY.

Back to the point lmao.

Ranach decides to round up Tribes, to fight the capital. The thought of MT, a fleck in the back of his mind. If it’s even there at all.

What strikes me odd is how Kique attempts to write this narcissistic character, but fails miserably cause all Ranach is in the story, is a Rogio obsessed man whore. Now suddenly Kique wants to make Ranach a hero and WOOHOO save Aedra. Now this plot might have made more sense if Kique had Ranach rebel against his father, with Kargo and Ferah and saved MT. If he had actually made Ranach an empathetic character who saw wrong in the Tribe he grew up in, instead of trying to lick Rogio’s nuts every two seconds. But this plot line, DOES NOT WORK. Because Ranach is never shown to give a single flying hoot about the wellbeing of others, except for Rogio.

Now don’t get me wrong, Ranach does tend to show narcissism. But it is not to the extent of how a narcissist actually is. Everything Ranach does, is for Rogio. So how the hell is he narcissistic? A true narcissist would have just found a new supply and moved the hell on. Which could be argued that this would be Iberon, but Ranach quite obviously looked at Iberon the same way he did as Rogio.

The inconsistency from Ranach is really mind boggling. Like most characters in Home, he does not have a consistent personality and jumps around to better fit the agenda / scenes Kique is pushing in the story. It is quite obvious to anyone, that he favors Ranach the most, probably because he wrote him to be his sick, obsessed lover to his self insert known as Rogio. Ranach is basically the dream lover for Kique. Which, ew, you sick fuck. Roamer is also another slice of a dream lover for Kique, because it’s funny how these two are so obsessed with his self insert, Rogio. And yet in real life, he writes these characters to do things he wishes a partner would do for him. Like it’s real obvious Kique, you’re not even hiding it anymore lol.

-

And now I will gloss over the glorification that Kique gives Ranach.

In the beginning, we all are aware of how much Kique adored Ranach, drawing him in odd positions and just completely showing this character in the spotlight. Now there is no physical evidence if Ranach did things to the females intentionally or not, in MT. Jonna says “He was rarely seen with a female” and then Rogio says “Anytime you were with a female, it was a simple one time thing.” So for me, it’s hard to pin point whether Ranach was a rapist or not. But let’s just assume that he is, given the circumstances of MT. WHY would you want to draw your rapist character in sexy poses and tell your customers that a gay bar is the best way to lose Ranach. Jeffery Dahmer is that you??

The odd glorification from Kique onto Ranach, is just that… ODD. If you have followed Kique for a while and read all the docs about him, it all becomes clear why he supports certain characters and why certain characters act the way they do. A lot of them, including Ranach have bits of Kiques personality / beliefs in them. And when you actually pay attention to how the characters work, you come to find out that Kique is an asshole lmao.

-

In conclusion, it was obvious that Kique attempted to make Ranach an antagonist in the beginning of the story, but then later decided to ditch this idea for unknown reasons. Why Kique favors a character like Ranach is boggling as hell. It’s crazy because given the backstory of Ranach, you would think it would push Ranach to do MT better than his father, but Kique is a terrible writer and didn’t even see that opportunity to give Ranach a redeemable quality. Now, he’s further digging Ranach into a hole and trying to make him the good guy, which TOO LATE Kique, you already missed that train, because you can’t decide who is the antagonist anymore in your comic.

PHEW. That’s all I have to say, I figured I would give into a different perspective on Ranach and how he COULD HAVE been redeemed, but Kique sucks at writing as we all know.



[slythereen]

apologies if you’ve answered this before or if there’s not really a specific gathered resource, but you seem knowledgeable about such things!— i am interested in learning more about f1 racing, do you have any recommendation for where to find a beginners guide/‘f1 for dummies’/place to begin learning more?

hello!!! i am also rather new to the sport and had to consume massive amounts of content from all over the place and frankly am still learning a lot all the time, so i'm not exactly an expert. what i can share are resources i relied on in my own ✨ descent into madness ✨ though !

so, my incomplete and questionable guide to selling your soul to f1:

it's all about how you like to learn and consume media tbh. i tried to watch a race initially, was confused, regrouped and started exploring. personally i watched all of dts up to the current season and then watched the first few races that i had missed while obsessively trawling twitter to learn more and waiting for my first live race (aka australia this year — massive rip). but it's up to you how you dive in!!

drive to survive

don’t get me wrong, dts has its issues — they invent drama, have some misleading portrayals, like to splice together clips from different race weekends together. it’s definitely more of a creative project than a straight up documentary. 

that being said, it also explains a lot of the lore and history behind the sport, teams, and drivers in an entertaining fashion. it’s newcomer friendly so it explains the rules. yes, will buxton gets a lot of heat for stating the obvious, but some of those obvious explanations are helpful for the clueless. 

there are also a lot of very cool shots and some good exclusive interviews that they get. sure, you can probably find them clipped on youtube, but may as well just watch dts. the first season is a little slow if you’re like me and want to see charles immediately (worth noting not all teams had agreed to participate s1), but that’s just me. 

(plus: it’s entertaining. i live for drama. just take said drama with a grain of salt and assume it’s probably invented or blown out of proportion.) 

the tiktok girlies 

again: tiktok can be a bit hit or miss. you’ll see a lot of bad takes and pure cringe if you linger too long on f1 tiktok. but i started watching content from a few f1 girlies who seems reliable and had friendly introductory content. they’re generally very nice and happy to answer questions. 

after a while i stopped watching them just because i no longer needed the intro information or explanations, but they did help fill in gaps and point out some of the inaccuracies of dts. 

some who helped me learn more:

@/lissiemackintosh (okay she's an f1 presenter but she's cool as shit i love her queen of the paddock etc etc)

@casxf1 (intro content is sort of her Thing)

@formula_dev (she was my go-to girlie for learning)

@f1toni

f1tv content 

i am pretty sure f1tv isn’t available in all countries, but i have always watched races through f1tv. there are a lot of ways to watch races live illicitly if that’s what you prefer, and other countries have sky or other channels they can watch on (USA also has espn), but i prefer f1tv because i’m too lazy to find streams and don’t want to worry about stream issues mid race. 

plus: f1tv comes with a whole archive of past seasons and a host of other media content during race weekends (ie, the fia press conferences on thursday, post-quali and post-race). they have a tech talk series that explains some of the technical aspects, do weekend warm-ups each race weekend that gives an update/context, and have been adding more intro content on the platform. there’s an app, which is convenient. 

the f1tv stream also allows you to use the channel switcher to choose between your commentary options (f1tv or sky’s commentators), or to see the live timing data, or to see any of the driver onboards. it’s quick and you can switch back and forth easily. (if your computer can handle it — my mac often can’t — you can use multiviewer with your f1tv subscription to set up a bunch of different screens and panels to watch, for example, the main stream and a driver’s onboard. or multiple onboards. or whatever you want basically. personally i usually put the race on my ipad and the onboard on my phone, because that streams perfectly and multiviewer likes to kill my laptop.) 

the downfall of f1tv is that they don’t have a smart tv app yet. idk why. it’s very irritating. it also might be a bit expensive to some, but i think it’s worth it. 

f1 twitter (hell)

it’s a minefield out there. truly. BUT my next big question, after starting to get into watching races live and watching some old seasons and learning how it works, is how people seemed to always be in the know about paddock gossip. i wanted to know about it as it was happening and see the ~drama~ unfold live and feel like i was part of the season actually occurring. 

so: twitter. follow your teams, follow your drivers, the for you tab is actually your friend here because it’ll bring new journalists and f1 commentators into your orbit as you learn who is who. some of the big driver fan pages operate as sources of information and updates with relative stealth if not immediate updating. 

at this point i follow enough people (and have infected my algorithm enough) that i tend to see gossip and updates across most of the teams. big news tends to get shared by everyone anyway. 

if you prefer tumblr, you can still get A Lot of updates on drama and gossip pretty quickly. there is a bit of a delay between information hitting twitter and information hitting tumblr (partially because none of the official teams or drivers have accounts on tumblr; partially because of the amount of people on f1twt versus f1blr). BUT, a lot of us tumblr girlies liveblog during the races and sessions and bring any crucial content over from twitter to share here, so the info will probably be here eventually/soonish. (following the race tags each weekend will prob give you a lot of the quick updates live.) 

some great charles specific update accounts

@leclercsletters

@leclercdata

@/charlsleclerc

@cleclercfansuk

others i follow for the 🍵 (not necessarily CL fans/i follow some ppl i disagree with for the intel) 

@fiadocsbot (😭) / @f1 / other official accounts press etc. 

@_allthatglitz

@maranellosaint

@scuderiafemboy (actually also has tumblr)

@fm1_3316

@/lecstappens

@candeleclerc16

@/elpredestinato

@formuleo_

@pikaclerc

@leclerqz

@fottitiferrari

@/f1tami

@/htrs4piastri

@estestroll

@fanaticsferrari

there are certainly more i see on my timeline all the time !!! this is just skimming through my following on the train 😭

tbh if i started trying to list tumblrs with hot takes that i follow we might be here all day. note to self: make my following list public lmfao

introductory posts & masterlists & others

full disclosure: these are resources i went hunting for out of curiosity and never actually used myself, but they looked fun and funky so yaknow. if there are iconic masterlists that i am missing, rip, someone please feel free to add or correct me. some of these are definitely seasons of old (aka like last year) but you get the point.

f1chronicle has this guide!

f1 put out their own beginner's guide to f1 video but it's like......5 minutes (and here is their longer intro video for 2023)

this much longer intro to the rules video by school of sports looks promising

apparent f1 also has a whole category of articles in their beginner's guide series

@babssionate's ppt guide to f1 and drivers intro

@shuntedmate's (sister's) ppt beginner's guide to f1

pitwall's beginner guide to f1 ppt

@race-week's guide to getting into the technical side of f1 (and whole blog appears to be some cool info on drivers and histories etc)

here is @lestappenforever's glorious guide to charles' driving style that i re-found while trying to figure out if i have a reference list tag (i dont)

[strawbubbysugar]

💔- June or Goodbye, ⚔️- Hello, 🌊- Hello, 🧶-any, 🌧️- Matt, ⚠️-Hello, 💛- Goodbye or June, 🦷- any, 🐸- Goodbye, 📓- ANY!!! :D

This is so many thank you so much!!!

💔 - Does forgiveness come easily or with difficulty to this oc? Can they forgive others? What about themselves?

Goodbye looks at things rationally. If he thinks it’s something that can be forgiven, he forgives himself easily. He also forgives himself a bit more easily in general than most people, since he believes most things he does are justified due to his whole. Situation. June on the other hand has a hard time forgiving himself. He’ll remember something he said that hurt someone’s feelings and it’ll keep him up at night.

⚔️ - How does this oc handle conflict?

One word. De-escalation. He’d been heavily programmed with that knowledge. But if that doesn’t work, and it’s a situation that he can’t talk down at all, he hides. Run and hide.

🌊 - Does this oc have a secret or repressed desire?

Hello really really REALLY wants to yell. He wants to say no to the white coats that take him to his adjustments. But he wants to do it his own way, not the way goodbye wants to.

🧶 - Do they do any arts, crafts, or creative hobbies?

June plays the guitar very well, as well as being a novice at several other ones (all the instruments from his old band for sure, as well as some random ones. As a list: guitar, drums, bass guitar, trumpet, kazoo, and he played the saxophone in highschool)

He also likes to doodle, his sneakers are covered in them!

🌨️ - If this oc had a day free from all their responsibilities, how would they spend it?

Sleeping. Deep dad sleep. This man was born to be a father. He’d grab a beer and fall asleep on the couch before drinking it while watching a nature documentary. (About the ocean)

⚠️ - If this oc came with a warning sign, what would it be?

CAUTION: ANIMATRONIC IS NOT YET HUG TESTED FOR THE PUBLIC. HUGS MAY BE TOO TIGHT.

💛 - Are they ‘good with children’, or more awkward?

June is very good with kids! He wanted to be a teacher when he was growing up and used to babysit neighborhood kids all the time. He gave up on that when Morgan told him an elementary school teacher couldn’t be colourblind (how would he teach them colours? Duh.)

Picking engineer was halfway between being something he enjoyed doing and being petty towards Morgan, since his handicap also applies at this job too

Goodbye likes children to an extent, but mostly when they’re not crying or running around. A sleeping or calm child? He enjoys their company. A kid running around and screaming while playing? No thanks.

🦷 - Would this oc ever bite someone?

Goodbye has been trying and wanting to bite SO badly. So bad. He’s clawed at their faceplate before just trying to open it. It almost felt like phantom pains.

🐸 - What’s this oc’s sense of humor like?

Most things he finds amusing would get very little reaction out of him, usually just a ‘hm.’ Or something similar. One surefire way to get him to absolutely piss his pants laughing though is when people react wildly when they’re startled. Someone holding up their fists only to immediately relax, someone gasping and hugging the wall, immediately clutching their pearls: gets him every time.

📓 - Do you associate any quotes or lyrics with this oc?

I associate the song “Dirty imbecile” with Hello! Specifically these lines!

[coconox]

just a little coco redesign :3c

link if you wanna see the old design

not gonna post the full details of the design here cause i dont think that rlly matters lol also don't mind the boots i cannot draw anything past the knees like at all 💀💀

ik i wrote lil drabbles of them from time to time but this post will be the "official" one introducing them since i never rlly gave a proper introduction

as a heads up i'll be using both commandant and skk interchangeably bc i'm consistently inconsistent 👍

basic info

name: coco

prns: they/them

vocation: cerberus commandant

about

always carries chocolate wherever they go and would even snack on it while carrying out missions on earth.

most people would often know if coco is around by the sudden scent of chocolate in the air. vera, 21, and noctis are the only people constructs that associate coco's scent w smth other than chocolate

is often hidden away in their squad's lounge area when on standby for missions, usually handling any sort of files or paperwork

if they're not in the lounge, then they're in the library either working or conversing with noan or simultaneously doing both

expresses their gratitude through actions and gifts rather than words

often seen as very reserved due to only speaking when spoken to when around most people that aren't in their squad

with that being said it's rumored that if you bad mouth any of the cerberus members, whether you noticed their presence (during the bad mouthing) or not they will haunt you in the worst ways possible

another rumor has it that while their smile is generally more comforting than the uh... other members of cerberus.... their smile when confronting those who slander cerberus is more terrifying than the trio combined

how they became cerberus' skk

formerly gray raven's skk, vera carried out her plans of kidnapping coco and make them cerberus' skk, tho rather than coco trying to fight against it, they willingly complied and offered to help w the coverup, even as far as talking to murray directly abt transferring him to be gray raven's skk so that he can finally be alongside lee in the closest way possible. this whole plan took place right around chapter 15, the last spark, after skk successfully returns from atlantis

tl;dr rozen's secrets 10 and 12 came true, murray and gr skk just switch places lol

relationship w vera

vera would always try to tease and make lies to see some sort of idiotic expression on coco's face, but they picked it up rather quickly and would either play along or tease back

vera tends to give most of the paperwork to coco just cause she doesnt want to do it

even tho the two of them have looked at each other's files and vera even going as far as hunting down every little detail abt coco's past, neither of them could really understand each other, nor do they really have the social skills to get to properly have that conversation

despite not really knowing each other to the fullest, the both could at least agree on maintaining the existence of cerberus and their teammates

vera often worries abt coco, but would never outright say it. its not everyday you see an f.o.s. chief be so willing to break every rule they learned when training to be a commandant. she often thinks they're just as reckless as noctis at times if not more than him

despite everything, its still a mystery to vera of why coco was so willing to transfer out of gray raven

relationship w 21

took the most time to adjust to coco

given cerberus now has an on-field skk and 21 needing to be more closely monitored than the others, it took a while for her to be comfortable w having constant m.i.n.d. connections w coco

once 21 fully became comfortable w their presence, she'd ask them to join her to watch animal documentaries

indulges 21 in her story writing, giving her books and movies from the wgaa for inspiration

coco basically semi-treats 21 like she's their daughter

relationship w noctis

they're married :) /hj

noctis was the most excited out of the 3 when coco officially became cerberus' skk

also was the least obedient when it came to listening to coco due to his very "lone wolf" mindset at times

to get him to listen, coco decided to attach a leash on him, in which vera's initial reaction was of both amusement of coco's stupidity and disbelief that it'd actually work

much to either of their surprise, it did work 💀 which made vera and 21 laugh their asses off over how noctis could be easily tamed w a rather small and albeit dumb trick

nowadays coco carries the leash as an intimidation factor for noctis to behave

out of the 3, noctis is the one that spends the most time w coco, considering his reputation of being obnoxious has led to him being held back on quite a few occasions and have coco watch over him while vera and 21 go on missions as per nikola's orders. during those times, coco would need to do a remote connection and would update noctis over what's going on

calls each other "partner" when not on missions/formal occasions

cerberus on-field

while coco is on-field alongside their teammates, they tend to let the trio complete missions in whatever method they're most comfortable w, only intervening when asked by the members or if a certain method will create too drastic of a casualty

coco's main job is to give a brief overview of the mission and clean up the trio's mess/deal w the aftermath, they'll often do other small tasks in the meantime while the trio handles the bigger (and supposedly more "fun") tasks

a lot of other commandants would comment abt this tactic being "lazy" since coco doesn't appear to do all that much on the surface, only for coco to retort w "ok so why don't you be cerberus' commandant for a day and show me how i'm supposed to act" with a shit-eating grin on their face which makes the others immediately take back their statement and shut up abt how coco operates as a commandant. the trio (if around) would also chime in and scare the others even more than what coco initially intended

some other bits that idk where to categorize them in

earpiece would almost always have music playing

coco's reputation slowly deteriorated over time. a once beacon of hope now often seen as someone who's fallen from grace

the unapproachable nature of cerberus made people believe that coco, as a former gray raven commandant, would try to "fix" them, only to find out that coco fully embraces and encourages cerberus' behavior, which made the whole squad more terrifying than before

coco now often refuses to partake in any sort of mission that would make them go solo (i.e. constructs from cerberus wont be joining directly alongside them), stating things like "there are many other commandants out there that can easily perform just as well if not better than them" and "only cerberus can fully guarantee their safety"

[crystal-ball-of-ow-canon]

In your post about how Gabe was being pushed aside for Jack in Genesis I wanted to ask why you thought Blizzard hated Reyes? Is it more than just how bad Code of Violence was?

I never really engaged with overwatch content back in the day until Overwatch 2 came out and all the controversy got me interested in the characters, so I wasn't around for most of the ride.

Thank you for asking! This is going to be a long one so buckle up

So before we proceed I want to clarify that part of “Blizzard really does hate Reaper” is a bit of a joke, a good old ribbing in Blizz’s direction just because of the lack of Reaper lore that we get and the lack of quality, it really does seem like Gabe gets the short end of the stick

And I’ve said this before but also me being critical of Gabriel’s story line and making these jokes that Blizzard hates Gabe and Blizzard doesn’t know it’s own lore isn’t me trying to attack any of the writers individually or as a group. Ongoing stories are prone to complications and change, that’s to be expected, Jeff Kaplan famously could not keep track of any of the lore and constantly said things that Michael Chu had to later come out and correct. A lot a lot of work goes into making Overwatch, mistakes often come from things being rushed or unable to be double checked (the video game industry should unionize) they have to deal with incoming demands from execs, they’re having to create new lore for new maps and new heroes, it is not an easy balancing act at all and these people are pouring their passion into something they care about and that is not to be dismissed

With all of that out of the way

Does Blizzard Hate Gabriel Reyes?

I have talked extensively about Gabriel Reyes on this blog, famously I have a giant actual 3000 word dissertation on my main critiques of how blizzard has handled Gabriel from his characterization to his lore.

To get specifically to your question tho, I don’t think inherently Genesis itself sidelining Gabriel is Blizzard hating Gabe, but more of what my anticipations for not only Genesis pt 3 as well as the hero mission will continue to handle him.

Genesis is an in universe documentary of the Omni crisis and the forming of Overwatch’s original strike team. Gabriel was the original strike commander however in the post I believe you’re talking about Gabrie does not seem to be the focus once the documentary timeline shifts to discussing the forming of Overwatch, something that would be weird (at least in my opinion) again given that again Gabriel is supposed to be strike commander at this point.

I did not mean to infer that the documentary itself was proof that blizzard hates Gabriel, I was merely making an observation that “wow Gabe sure is being pushed aside, almost like he’s not the strike commander lol”. I apologize if that’s what you took from it. I did talk a little about if the documentary is an in universe propaganda piece for Jack (thus justifying why Gabriel isn’t focused on) as Jack actually seems to be the one at the forefront of the strike team, he’s the one who shakes hands with Mina and his uniform is the very same as his strike commander skin. So the post was trying to say “I wonder if there was purposeful thought behind this decision or if blizzard straight up forgot that Gabriel’s actually supposed to be strike commander, wouldn’t be surprised because blizzard hates Gabriel lol”

The reason why I say “Blizzard hates Gabe” is a combination of things. I’ve already said they just can’t seem to keep his lore straight but that’s a more general problem. Gabriel just doesn’t get a lot of lore attention especially given the fact that he’s one of the key players in the story. One of my biggest problems is what seems to be the overexplaining of Jack’s narrative with the underexplaining of Gabriel’s narrative

“For whatever reason Blizzard feels the obsessive need to explain and justify Jack’s character. He has an origin story (which by the way doesn’t mention Gabriel’s tenure as Strike Commander making Jack infer that he lead Overwatch through the omnic crisis, I’m just saying), his animated Hero short, the Bastet short story where he shares a perspective with Ana, the Old Soldiers comic, and the Uprising comic. All there to show Jack beleaguered as he might be, still a good person trying to do the right thing because don’t worry he’s still a good guy. Gabriel gets no origin story, no dedicated short to himself, just the comic Retribution alongside the archives event, and finally in 2022 6 years after the game release the short story Code of Violence which turns Gabriel into the Punisher. Sure Gabriel is involved in a lot of stories, but we don’t much get his perspective on events and for someone who’s apparently the linchpin in the whole Overwatch story (being what really happened between him and Jack at Zurich), I kind of think there’s a discrepancy in point of views provided.” - my dissertation

Furthermore I have this whole thing where still to this day blizzard hasn’t given any good reason as to why Gabriel is in cahoots with Talon. There seems to be this giant double standard with how Blizzard frames Jack and how they frame Gabriel. I consider them two sides of the same coin, former military who have become disillusioned with the system seeking justice for the wrongs done upon them except Jack is a vigilante and Gabriel is… a terrorist again for no explainable reason (to keep me from making this tangent any longer I cannot impart how poorly blizzard has explained how Gabriel went from assassinating former the former Talon leader to working directly with/for Talon)

This has been an ongoing problem from the beginning, Code of Violence just made a lot of things worse as it is in general a bad take (and poorly received) as well as making the timeline more impossible

I hope this explained at least a little bit for you, again apologies for how long the post is (as you can see I’m a little neurotic about the whole thing)

If you have any more questions I am more than happy to chat (you can ask or dm me)

[ernmark]

Didja miss me? I got caught up on the Juno Steel episodes a few weeks ago (still working on Second Citadel, more on that later), and now that I’m vaguely getting my life back on track, I’m sticking my toe back in this fandom, just in time for the beginning of the final season! 

So here we go:

Juno Steel and the Vanishing Act (Pt 1) Reaction

First off, it’s so nice to see Cas Kanagawa again. She sounds so much calmer, so much steadier. Which makes sense, given that the last time we saw her she had just accidentally killed her father and had spent years under the thumb of a hyper-controlling stepmother, and she’s finally free. 

So this exchange here is really striking:

JUNO: I'm glad you get to do what you always wanted, Cass. Honestly.

CASS: You... what?

JUNO: I said I'm glad. That's weird, now

CASS: No, I mean... no sarcasm? No bad jokes? No insults?

JUNO: Reading's not all I learned how to do over the past few years.

CASS: Yeah. Yeah, I think I can tell. Okay, I'll admit it. I do owe you. I don't have any money to give you, but I think I can help you out. (Vanishing Act)

It’s two ladies who have survived some real hard shit, who used to bring out a lot of the worst in each other, after they’ve gotten help, escaped from a toxic situation, and taken charge of their lives. Holy shit, that feels nice.

That said, I kinda want her to keep a bit role here. When the plot focuses on a character, it’s usually not because good things are coming to them, so I’m just fine keeping her in the director’s chair of her documentary series.

But that brings us to the actual mystery. 

We’ve got Carrie Gold (As in Kerry Gold, the canned tomato brand… cuz you throw tomatoes at a bad actor, get it?), the really terrible actress who bought her way onto a show, and owner of the Prismacrystal Chimes, who’s about to humiliate herself at her big debut. 

“Taking out my Chimes would be sabotage! And if my acting career doesn't take off after, why... ehm. Never mind.”

It may be that she’s actually out of money, and she was hoping for a glamorous career as an actor might save her from it. Notably, there’s no mention of her donating actual cash, just the Chimes. And the Chimes are an heirloom, so they may be the last thing of value she’s got, and this kind of publicity would be a good boost in its value– and having it ‘stolen’ would be a great way for them to disappear out of her possession without her losing face. Possibly the pawn ticket is hers, and she’s been selling off her other valuables?

(The Chimes, by the way– the scene where they were brought out, with the music and Juno’s narration and all? That was gorgeous. And I’ll talk more about the lighting part elsewhere.)

We’ve got Warner Jayne (my mind kept going back to German film director Werner Herzog? Or Warner Bros.?), the producer who’s bankrolling the show, arranged for Carrie’s involvement, procured the Chimes and the sound/lighting design, and notably doesn’t think the show can stand on its own without a lot of glitz and glamor.

“God, this show needs it. It's unwatchable, I...Oh. Don't tell Billie I said any of that.”

We’ve got Billie Dalton (as in the Dalton Gang?), the director whose grand project is about to be butchered onstage by Carrie’s acting, but maybe rescued by the special effects, but generally resents the interference. She’s the only one with the key to the Chimes’ lock, and the only person aside from Carrie who actually handles it. She’d have the opportunity to walk off with it while everybody’s eyes are on the stage. 

“Having those Chimes stolen in front of everyone, having Carrie Gold scupper the show... It would all almost be worth it for Warner Jayne to get what he deserves.”

We’ve got Clotilda Fairborough, actual actor whose big break is about to be shattered by her incompetent costar. 

“I'm going to drag this show kicking and screaming into something like artistic credibility, and you owe me for that, so act like it... or you'll see what happens when I'm not feeling so cooperative.”

These three have, in my opinion, the same motive: they’ve got a lot riding on a play that’s about to be ruined, which he didn’t believe in in the first place. Warner has a lot of money invested in this. Billie and Clotilda have their reputation on the line, and they might not get another chance. So it behooves all of them to get everybody’s eyes on Lono on their show, but not actually be paying too close attention to the play itself– so putting a priceless work of art on stage and then declaring it’s gonna be stolen at a very specific time during opening night? That’s perfect publicity.

USAmericans might be familiar with a grim joke: “Apart from that, Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?” Alternatively, nobody thinks too hard about what was going on in Don Juan Triumphant right before the Phantom of the Opera dropped a chandelier on the audience. Any shortfalls in the play itself will be barely a footnote, but everybody will be talking about the event.

So everybody’s got a motive to throw a wench (hee hee) into the works, but the presence of the pawn shop ticket at the end has me putting my money on Carrie.

(There’s the obvious option, of course, that Nureyev is actually on the crew as a stage hand and he’s just being overlooked because nobody ever notices techies, but if that was the case, I feel like the stage crew would have been at least mentioned before now. A passing line, or something, but we’ve got nothing. )

(Also the transcripts on the official website are an actual godsend)

[writingreadingdaydreaming]

the round table sounds like a fun idea (in a so-much-angst-to-unpack fun of course) could you go into more detail? is there like episodes where they focus on different things or is more of a focus group on how to make things better for omegas in football? do they focus primarily on the professional challenges they face but with some personal struggles talked about as well like roy’s trauma? and would they be able to call out specific clubs? because part of me thinks they wouldn’t be allowed to just for sake of not “damaging the reputation” but if they’re retired maybe they just don’t care and then the clubs they call out scramble to create some generic “wow it’s so sad that happened to you but that has nothing to do with us because we’ve changed since then!” even though they barely have

AAAAAAAAAH ANON I LOVE YOU SO MUCH omg the DETAIL

Anyways lemme dive in head first and answer all your wonderful questions!!!

1. It’s filmed as a full-length, minimally edited documentary. Basically there’s only ever one video released but said video is nearly two hours long.

2. They would be talking about private and personal matters alike, because ultimately their private lives were being affected by football. For example, Roy feels he might have been able to get away from his abuser much early had he not had it drilled into him by coaches to never question the authority and to never show weakness, which therefore lead him to jump on and open himself up to manipulation by the first person who allowed him to show any kind of vulnerability. Gareth Bale’s point about medical negligence and the birth of his son showed the incompetence of the Real Madrid medical team, as no one managed to diagnose his broken tailbone that was putting him in extreme amount of pain for nearly five years. Del Piero, Steven Gerrard, Kaka and Fernando Torres all have slightly different messages but all touch on the same thing which is inappropriate behaviour towards omegas and assault, which ran rampant throughout football and in many clubs, even up at the coaching level. Vidic and Ian Wright both talk about how they felt they had to fight dirty and be aggressive to be taken seriously on the pitch. Zlatan talks about how there are no FIFA laws or guidelines dictating how clubs can or should handle an omega player having a miscarriage, as he had multiple and never received any support from his clubs themselves. Personal issues all mangle into professional lives too, cause in football, you can’t really leave your personal life at home cause football is your life.

3. Unfortunately no, they wouldn’t be able to call out particular clubs or players. The video is produced by the FOC (FIFA Omega’s Collective), who at the end of the day are a branch of FIFA. They can’t be seen ‘unfairly’ taunting the name of certain clubs when they don’t have physical proof. That is the part that would have to be censored as they would need everything to be very legally sound. Obviously the players in question could talk about certain clubs (eg Torres talks about how unsafe he felt after his move to Chelsea) as long as they aren’t making accusations about the club or its players.

[danlous]

i mean, besides this fandom generally only caring about the white man's story, rolin already said that the show fans knew is over and the real story will begin now. lestat is here and he will set the record straight and tell the real story. he didnt say his story, he said real story. he also said it won't be guys sitting in a room doing interviews anymore, which implies that there is no pushing back on lestat's narrative. if i remember the books correctly, his story going forward (or rather his past) will involve armand, who the story tells us is at this point is the only bad guy around, because lestat is all about forgiveness (as rolin said), another fantastic setup for the evil brown man, good white guy. and regarding louis being saved by a white men yet again, how else do you see it? without daniel, he would have continued to stay with the evil brown man not being able to make the decision to leave. it's not on the same level of white saviorism as lestat, but louis' story once again hinges on a white man. if the showrunner tells me the only reason he wanted this job was to do tvl, i believe him and yes that does affect how i think season 3 will go and how i view way he handled s2 and how he did not treat it with much respect, considering he never once brought up the theme of race and started to promote season 3 before the goddamn finale had even aired.

Your thoughts are completely understandable. I guess why i'm personally more optimistic is that for every discouraging tidbit there's something encouraging that makes me think they know what they're doing. Even that teaser as Lestat centric and campy it is also emphasizes his volatility and aggression and performativeness, and makes it clear that everything he does is about Louis. It also implies that a documentary about Lestat is being made and Daniel is involved, and with Daniel there's definitely going to be a strong pushback to his narrative.

Wrt Daniel being depicted as a white savior and Armand as an evil brown man i'd agree if this was the end of the show and their arcs but it's really only the beginning. I had issues how Armand was written in the s2 finale, but i concede that he's one of the main characters we've barely glimpsed and they're planning his story and character arc for like 6-7 seasons (i think that's what rolin said lol) and i'm almost certain he's going to have plenty of nuance and won't be portrayed as evil villain. Meanwhile i don't think Daniel really saves Louis. Louis invites him because he thinks he's the key to understanding what transpired, but i think it's clear that Louis had the keys all along and he didn't really need Daniel. I think both Louis and Armand deep down hoped that something would break their relationship (hence Armand rather quickly giving up his attempt to get Louis stay), and if it hadn't been Daniel it would've sooner or later been something else. Daniel so far has worked primarily in service of Louis' character, and though Louis cares about him he's not depicted as a nice guy, he's an asshole and hypocrite and at the end of s2 an unrepentant killer.

All these characters and their stories are connected to each other and i just don't think the show that is still being made by the same people that made the first two seasons is going to abandon the nuanced and race conscious storytelling it has pretty consistently demonstrated so far. Rolin also isn't the only writer on the show. Again, this is just my own my perspective and trying to explain why i'm still optimistic. Of course it's entirely possible i'm wrong and i'm setting myself up for a huge disappointment. I'm taking that risk but i completely understand people who don't want to do that after Rolin's comments

[sweetdreamsjeff]

John Zorn's "COBRA" live at The Knitting Factory

Cobra was recorded at the Knitting Factory, NYC, throughout 1992. John Zorn acted as conducter for the monthly impromptu jams, which were recorded and are dated according to month.

Jeff Buckley participated in April's recordings. Buckley contributed voice (tenor) to track 4, "Taipan," and track 5, "D. Popylepis."

@crudecube

2 years ago (edited)

Setlist for anyone trying to find a particular artist from the Knit.

0:00 - "Hemachatus Haemachatus" (Track 1)

2:12 - "Naja Naja Atra" (Track 2)

5:52 - "Many-Banded Krait" (Track 3)

16:19 - "Taipan" (Track 4)

17:49 - "D. Popylepis" (Track 5)

18:29 - "Lampropeltis Doliata Syspila" (Track 6)

21:01 - "Boomslang" (Track 7)

32:08 - "Maticora Intestinalis" (Track 8)

38:21 - "Acanthopis Antarcticus" (Track 9)

42:21 - "Hydrophiidae" (Track 10) > (Abrupt cutoff @ 44:51) ================[CUTOFF]=================

I may have got some wrong since they're so difficult to distinguish, with the ambient noise and faded transitions and all. If my approximations are correct, that leaves 4 tracks missing, which would get it to about an hour in length.

How do you play John Zorn's COBRA

The BBC documentary series On the Edge: Improvisation in Music (1992) includes a short segment of Zorn explaining and conducting two versions of Cobra.[8] His goal with Cobra, Zorn said, was to "harness" the creative developments in improvisation and extended techniques by New York City's downtown scene musicians in a semi-structured way, but "without hindering" their performances; he was interested in telling the musicians when to play, and with whom, but without telling them what to play. Plus-Minus (1963, 1974) by German composer Karlheinz Stockhausen was a key inspiration for Zorn, inspiring him to develop methods play with or against each other and in response to his cues but without dictating specific notes, sounds, or other formal structures. Though Cobra can be performed by any number of musicians plus a prompter who handles the cards, Zorn has stated that at least ten musicians are ideal, with care taken in selecting the musicians based on their improvisational skills and personalities.[7]

Release Date 1992

Duration 01:00:50

Recording Date 1992

Recording Location Knitting Factory

Jeff Buckley Guest Artist, Tenor (Vocal)

ALL MUSIC REVIEW

Live at the Knitting Factory Review by Scott Yanow

Calling this set of performances bizarre would be an understatement. John Zorn inspired (through obscure game playing that is not explained anywhere on this CD) these 14 eccentric "tributes" to different types of cobras. Because many of the performances utilize samplers and voices (in addition to conventional instruments and miscellaneous devices), the wide range of sounds attained from the 87 musicians (heard in different combinations) is impressive, if often quite unlistenable, ranging from humorous interludes to very obnoxious noise. For a few examples, "Cobra 4" has a man screaming over and over again, "Cobra 2" features a sound collage with a male opera singer repeating the same four notes continuously, and "Cobra 5" has, among its many vocal noises, a man imitating a dog barking. There are some colorful segments, but in general, these self-indulgent performances would be much more interesting to see in person than to hear on record. Taken purely as a listening experience, one is surprised that this material has even been released.

JOHN ZORN'S COBRA LIVE AT THE KNITTING FACTORY

Knitting Factory Works release date: 1995

CD#: KFW 124

Cobra was recorded at the Knitting Factory, NYC, throughout 1992. John Zorn acted as conducter for the monthly impromptu jams, which were recorded and are dated according to month. Jeff Buckley participated in April's recordings. Buckley contributed voice (tenor) to track 4, "Taipan," and track 5, "D. Popylepis." Credits for both track 4 & track 5: Jeff Buckley (voice, tenor) M. Doughty (voice, tenor) Judy Dunaway (voice, mezzo-soprano) Mark Ettinger (voice, tenor) Gisburg (voice, soprano) Cassie Hoffman (voice, soprano) Nina Mankin (voice, mezzo-soprano) Chris Nelson (voice, baritone) Juliet Palmer (voice, alto) Wilbur Pauley (voice, bass) Rick Porterfield (voice, baritone) Eric Qin (voice, baritone)

[ben-the-hyena]

🔥🔥🔥🔥

hi

Ooh 4 unpopular opinions ! Hmmm... but which ones... it's hard

1) I hate cold food except ice cream and other exceptions. YUCK... cold rice !? Cold past !? Salads ?! Cold meats ?! HOW CAN YOU HANDLE THOSE !?!

2) I really don't like seeing a piece of media I can label to be "Tumblr" or "Twitter" like. Like don't get me wrong I love representations and storylines against oppression when it's done good but when I see a piece of media in which it feels forced or just colorful and an external package and the only thing people talk about is "omg it is so GAE. I love my GAE son. I like being GAE. Eat the rich. Acab. Women powah. She aint need no patriarch. Have I said it's GAE ?" ooooooof no matter how well rated it is I am gonna avoid it like the plague. That's why I rarely post about what's trending and popular here lol IT NEEDS TO FEEL... "NATURAL" and untalked about much you know ?!

3) SPEAKING OF WHICH HOLY SHIT I HATE QUIRKY WELLON SPEAK HUMOR STARTED FROM EARLY 2010'S. Gravity Falls did it first and did it great. But then they ALL started to mimick it. A character who is suddenly gonna rap about anything. Super quickly said lines that criticize a random stuff about society or an object. Squinting your eyes intensely saying a "badass" lines. Joke after a serious moment that ruin it so that it can be funnt and """unique""" again. Wellon speak in general like "wELl tHAt JUsT HAPpeneD" HOLY SHIT PLEASE STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP MIMICKING GF WAS UNIQUE FOR THAT NOW YOU ARE MAKING ME REGRET IT

4) this one is controversial, but maybe we should start adapting foreign tales or make more scifi or fantasy stories à la Avatar or Black Panther about other cultures when it comes to representation or if you just want the classic tales make their own new adaptations rather than senseless remakes that are just here to make advertising through internet fight outnof pure hypocrisy. And also make ACTUAL historical documentaries rather than ones to look "hip and cool", or sell them as AUs or fictional history flicks, not actual documentaries. And if you really want that make documentaries about progressive or varied societies rather than always the same and changing them, RIGHT !?

[spectrearia]

double-tag time lol

got tagged in two different question things by @galactictides52 and @gonturan0 xD gonna fill both of 'em out at the same time I guess haha! thanks for the tags!!

going under a cut because there's quite a lot here haha

tagged by @galactictides52:

Last song I listened to: Follow by Survive Said the Prophet

Favorite content to watch: uhhh.. hm. depends on my mood. I usually gravitate towards let's plays or documentaries on a whole variety of topics? speedrunning, electronics, abandoned places, and critiques on a wide variety of media are some of my go-tos for documentary/commentary-style content. there's a lot more tho that I can't think of off the top of my head. I just like listening to people discuss random stuff haha.

Favorite games: Oooh, quite a few. Minecraft, Super Mario Sunshine, Luigi's Mansion, Professor Layton, Ace Attorney, Hitman (World of Assassination), and recently Hatsune Miku: Project Diva Mega Mix are some that immediately come to mind. There are so many more games I could add but I gotta keep this kinda simple xD

Favorite colors: I love all colors for various reasons but any shade of purple is my absolute fave <3

Favorite animal: CATS!!! though I'm sure that's pretty obvious, haha xD I can't help but relate to them so much lol

Favorite food: mmmm. maybe my mom's beef and potato hash? it's the ultimate comfort food to me and she doesn't make it often, but it always Hits Just Right whenever I do get to have it.

Sweet, spicy, or savory: savory all the way, baby. don't mind a bit of spice alongside the savory sometimes but it depends on what it is.

Current obsession: my own OCs (and some friends' OCs as well). I literally talk about them all the time and I could say I'm sorry but I'm really not. xD if we're talking media in general tho? I guess the Hatsune Miku game I mentioned earlier counts, lol

Last book I read: oof. I can't even remember. for published books, I want to say it was Mayday at Two Thousand Five Hundred by Frank E. Peretti? but if not, then it was probably my friend's original story draft. I hardly ever read anymore, honestly. I just write what I want to read instead.

Last thing I googled: don't use google, per se. but I think the last thing I searched online was the lyrics to King by Kanaria because I want to learn how to sing along lol

Fun facts: I always suck at these haha. can't really think of anything so I might just have to leave this as-is, rip ><;;

---

tagged by @gonturan0:

3 ships: lol I don't do ships so I don't have much to put here xD I guess I kinda "shipped" some characters when I was younger (like Mario and Peach or whatever), but not? to an extreme degree or anything? was never my focus. still isn't. Honorable mention does go out to Kim Possible and Ron Stoppable, though. I felt their relationship was handled really well, even though I typically really don't like romance in kids' media at all.

first ever ship: idk probably Mickey and Minnie when I was like 5??? haha

last song: (see #1 in previous list)

Last movie: oof, memory is bad. it's been a while. the Mario movie???? in theaters??? i think. I can't remember. I don't watch movies as often as I used to tbh

currently reading: nothing right now, unless you count this list ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

currently watching: not "currently" but I'll probably watch the newest update of a Voices of the Void let's play that I'm keeping up with sometime later tonight :0

currently consuming: waterrr. stay hydrated, my dudes~

currently craving: sushi;;; specifically my Fave Big Roll with shrimp tempura, crab, cucumber, and a bunch of other good stuff (also SPICY MAYO, my beloved) <33

ayyyy, that's all, folks! I don't really know who to tag with this so i guess if anyone sees it and wants to fill it out, u can just say I tagged you xD I don't mind, haha!

[jerzwriter]

I was brought back from the death by the need of knowing more about Ethan and Eva lol

From the ship ask game: 3, 10, 14 and 42, please and thank you 😌

Thank you for these. It will get me prepped to write them!

3. What was their first impression of each other?

It was not good. She was treating a patient on a rotation in the ER, and Ethan came over, offering an unsolicited opinion that she did not take kindly to. She thought he was being a misogynistic ass, but he mistook her for an intern who would have been too junior to handle such a serious case alone.

Of course, neither handled it well, but when they realized the error, she eased up - he stayed all Ethan. So she walked away muttering "Arrogant prick" under her breath. Ethan heard her and said, "Excuse me?" She smiled condescendingly and said, "Thanks for the tips?" This will be a frenemies-to-lovers story.

10. Do they share any hobbies or interests? How do these things bring them together?

Yes. Quite a few. They both love to cook; they are both multi-lingual and always want to pick up more languages. They both love to travel. They love classical music (including opera). They both love hiking, antiquing, and quiet nights at home. They love documentaries, and they like to keep their circle of friends small.

When Casey and Tobias see all this, they're like !!!! What are you waiting for!?!?!

14. Do they enjoy PDA, or are they more private with affection?

While they will engage in PDA, in general, they're more private. That said... they do engage in PDA, they just try to do it on the dow-low... and almost always get caught. lol

42. What’s their relationship like with each other’s friends/families?

This is in the Tobias/Casey world, so T/C are very good friends with Ethan. Casey is friends with Eva first. Initially, Eva thinks Ethan and Tobias are jackasses, lol. In time, she grows to like both men, and four have a nice friendship going forward.

Alan, Naveen, and Harper all love Eva and vice versa.

Ethan's relationship with her family is complicated because her relationship with her family is complicated. Ethan lets Eva take the lead, and he tends to avoid the relatives that give her grief. But when needed, he will step in and ALWAYS have their back. He's very close with her father and older brother, who she is closest with as well.

Eva was very much married to her job, so she didn't have a bevy of friends. She has one or two close friends who live back home in New Jersey, and Ethan gets along well with them.

Thanks for the asks, dear!

[thefreeblog]

I agree with you on most of your views about actors in general, but small scale actors do need our support so they get recognised, that is the reason most of us fans follow them. In all this drama I feel more for Bible and I think he needs our support more than ever. He should not get dragged in this Build and his relationship drama.

Anon,

As I said, how you support actors/celebrities is each to their own. I don't really have that mindset.

As far as Bible goes, whatever we think, his immediate future projects involving Build are going to get cancelled/postponed, no one can help it.

But I am sure there is a professional team at BOC or Bible's own manager must be taking care of such situations for him. Fans expressing their views/support on social media does not account to that much. Whatever you might think or the actors makes the fans believe, it's not the selling point for actors. (Social connections and being in right place at the right time matters more).

I know BOC has been different in some ways, they have been trying to do the right thing or so we think. But we will never know the truth behind all these things ever. (Unless someone does a propaganda less tell all documentary on this). And from what I have seen or heard through friends/family who are part of entertainment business you will never ever guess or know how this production houses work. A general rule of thumb is, any publicity good or bad is always welcomed unless it costs you actual money.

So that's a little disheartening but is the truth most of the times.

And if this was just some "relationship drama" as you said , it would have been a different story. There are serious accusations against Build. And if Poi goes ahead with lawsuits, there will be investigations happening and everyone from KP cast will be contacted for investigations. BOC drops Build or not they will still have to cooperate for investigations unless there is an out of court settlement.

So yeah it's a hot mess and let's see how BOC comes out of it. For the fans who are waiting to see the future shows from BOC, a lot will depend on how BOC handles this and/or how soon the fans forget about the whole thing and jump onto something new. 🤷

[enigmaticexplorer]

I Yearn, and so I Fear - Chapter XXIII

Masterlist | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

General Summary. Nearly a year since the Galactic Empire’s rise to power, Kazi Ennari is trying to survive. But her routine is interrupted—and life upended—when she’s forced to cohabitate with former Imperial soldiers. Clone soldiers. 

Pairing. Commander Wolffe x female!OC

General Warnings. Canon-typical violence and assault, familial struggles, terminal disease, bigotry, explicit sexual content, death. This story deals with heavy content. If you’re easily triggered, please do not read. For a more comprehensive list of tags, click here.

Fic Rating. E (explicit)/18+/Minors DNI.

Chapter Word Count. 6.6K

22 Welona

“You did what?” Kazi frowned at Wolffe and Fox, refusing to acknowledge the thing in the former’s hands. 

The two brothers shared a look, and then Wolffe stared her in the eye. “It was Fox’s idea.” 

“Fucker,” Fox hissed. Kazi turned her scowl on him. Straightening the sleeves of his button-down, he offered her a blasé shrug. “He paid for it.”

“Bastard,” Wolffe muttered.

Resisting the urge to roll her eyes, she studied the thing: gray spots freckled white fur; pointy, lissome ears elongated the face. A tiny yawn widened its jaws—pointy teeth glinted in its mouth—and it snuggled closer to Wolffe’s chest, small enough to be tucked in the crook of his elbow. 

“Remember our conversation?” Fox said. At her bland look, he released a disappointed sigh. “There was a canine in the nature documentary we watched. You said you like canines.”

“Yeah—like being the key word,” she growled. “I didn’t say I want a canine.”

Fox slid his hands into his trousers. “Should’ve been more clear.”

“Anoobas are hunters,” she said, turning on Wolffe. The faint amusement lifting the corner of his mouth stalled beneath her glare. “It’s dangerous.”

“It’s a pup,” Wolffe said calmly. “Fox and I’ll train him.” Fox nodded dutifully. “They’re loyal creatures. And they’re damn good at protecting their packs.”

Kazi started to respond but something in his voice made her pause. An inscrutable note of tension.

“Is this about Court?” she asked quietly. 

The two brothers grew rigid, slight enough a casual observer wouldn’t notice. But Kazi recognized their signs; she recognized the barest differences in their countenances, stances, demeanors. 

Wolffe ran his tongue along his teeth. “Does it matter?”

Guarded defensiveness edged his tone, and she set aside her window cleaner and rag, sighing. 

The third night after the incident, Wolffe had dragged her and Daria outside, showing them the blaster he’d purchased. He’d then ordered them to practice. Daria refused to touch the weapon. Wolffe insisted. But it was Daria’s ashen face, her sister’s shaking hands, that convinced Kazi to intervene.

“I can’t do this,” Daria whispered. Wolffe was waiting beside an elder tree, a target that he and his brothers used ready for practice. “What if something happens?” Daria swallowed. “What if I forget and I turn the blaster on you? Or Neyti? Or the men? I can’t do it, Kazi. I won’t—”

“Okay.” Kazi placed a placating hand on her sister’s shoulder. “This isn’t your responsibility. I’ll handle it.”

Daria pursed her lips. “It shouldn’t have to be your responsibility.”

For two hours that night, Kazi practiced with Wolffe. He taught her how to hold the blaster, corrected her stance, made her practice shooting from different positions and distances. Once he was satisfied, they placed the blaster in the upstairs closet in a safe. 

“Will this be our new routine?” Closing the closet door, she eyed him. “Blaster practice?”

“You could practice for years and still never compare to a clone,” he said. The seriousness lining his forehead spoke to his silent concern. The concern he tried so hard to master. To hide. “But I’m giving you a chance to survive. That’s all you need.”

Wolffe blamed himself for Court. It was obvious in his demanding approach to blaster training. In the tension of his lingering kisses before he left for a mission. In his flicker of rage when he gently touched the scar just beneath her eye. 

Now, with the anooba, it seemed he was introducing another card into the game. Another chance at survival. 

“It’s an anooba,” Kazi said. 

“Fox considered the barghest.” Wolffe scratched the creature’s neck. “The thing had six red eyes—”

“They’re good fighters,” Fox muttered. 

Kazi rubbed her temple. “Aside from having a guard dog, why did you buy it?”

“Pets are good for younglings.” Squaring his shoulders, Wolffe held her gaze. “They teach responsibility. They’re safe recipients for secrets. And they’re loyal companions.”

The meaningful look he gave her was unnecessary, and his thoughtfulness simultaneously irked and softened her. 

“What if Neyti doesn’t want it?” she demanded. “I don’t want to take care of another thing.”

Scoffing, Wolffe rubbed a furry ear between his fingers. “Neyti will love it. And if she doesn’t, Fox and I will take care of it.” Fox nodded solemnly. 

Shaking her head, Kazi stroked the canine’s spine, the creamy fur tickling her palm. Soft, luscious. Two black eyes blinked at her, curious and shrewd, reminiscent of the little girl currently gardening with Daria and Cody. The anooba lifted its head, surveying her face. A scratch to its hindleg and it wagged its tail. 

Fuck. It was cute.

“Fine.” Ignoring identical smug smirks, she narrowed her eyes. “But it’s not allowed in my bed.”

“Understood,” Wolffe said. 

With a soft chuckle, Fox patted the anooba’s head, patted Kazi on the shoulder similarly, and then made his way to the kitchen where Nova was still unloading the groceries. A clap to the shoulder, whispered words, and Nova glanced her way. His half-smile was knowing. 

Wolffe cleared his throat. His smirk was equal parts teasing and arrogant. “I’m a much better sleep companion.”

Kazi rolled her eyes with a playful smile. “Whatever you need to tell yourself.”

Amusement danced in his eyes, and he laughed. A light laugh that reminded her of the easiness he typically exuded early in the mornings.

The morning after Wolffe first slept with her, Kazi awoke to an empty bed. Darkness clung to her windows and curtains, the autumnal month bereft of Eluca’s bright sunshine. 

A snake of unease was slithering through her stomach, a hollowness yawning in her chest, when she realized her refresher’s door was closed. Curious, she wandered inside. 

Leaning over her counter, Wolffe was shaving. His eyes locked on hers, and she offered him a small smile. A half-smile was returned. Kazi took several seconds to peruse him.

The blackness of morning darkened Wolffe’s skin, and the combination of his nakedness and sheer physicality likened him to the archaic marble statues decorating Ceaian harbors and cities. Statues whose detail to the human body were intricate, raw. Lines curved the planes of his body; muscle and fat carved a body to be respected. Feared. Worshipped.

Kazi pressed her hand against his lower back; he stilled at her touch, his razor pressed beneath his jaw. The skin of his lower back was warm, scarred and muscled, and slowly, she slid her palm along his spine, entranced with the way his body shifted and responded. 

“ ‘Morning, Ennari,” he rasped.

“Hi,” she murmured. Tracing his spine once more, amused by his hoarse exhale, she pressed a kiss to his neck and reached for her mouth cleanser. “How much longer?” 

He arched a brow. “You need something?”

She poured her mouth cleanser into a cup. “Basic hygiene stuff.” 

There was a second of calculated silence, and then he scoffed. “You’ve been coming on my face for weeks.” He angled his chin back, slowly dragging his razor along his jaw. “You can piss in front of me.”

With a roll of her eyes, she swished her mouth cleanser for the recommended minute and spat. She combed her hair. Washed her face, moisturized. He was still shaving. She tapped her foot against the ground.

“I’ve come inside of you,” Wolffe remarked. He set aside his razor. “I can handle piss—”

“Okay.” 

A few moments later, relieved and hands washed, Kazi leaned against the counter, waiting for him to finish patting his face dry. He turned toward her. A handful of droplets speckled his eyelashes, and she searched his face as he braced his hands on the counter. As he locked her between his arms. 

The chill of the morning crept along her skin; the longing in his gaze as he regarded her nude body made her shiver. 

It was odd sharing her space in the morning, and yet, with Wolffe, it felt natural. Unproblematic. Such a strange contradiction to the solitude she preferred, the privacy and independence— 

Teeth nipped at her earlobe. Sharp. Demanding. A mute request for her attention, and she laughed, angling her head back for Wolffe. Hot air puffed against her neck—his pleased chuckle. His hand lingered on her neck, a gentle yet possessive presence. 

Warm lips skimmed her throat, her jawline, and finally sought her own mouth. Kazi wound her fingers through his curls, brushed her tongue to his. He tasted like her mouth cleanser. Minty and fresh. Tracing a finger down his stomach, she stroked his cock, thumbing his tip.

“Fuck,” he hissed, pulling away to stare down at her. His irises were flared, darker than the moonless morning. “How do you feel?” His hand slid up her thigh, stroking slowly. Lightly. “Anything I should know about?”

Arching her hips into his hand, she swallowed. “We’ll have to go slow.”

“Understood.” 

A finger skimmed her labia and she loosed a breath, clinging to his arm to steady herself. He pressed closer and two fingers dipped inside of her. It stretched her enough—

“Oh.” Wolffe stilled, his opposite hand skimming her waist, her ribcage, her breast. 

Resting her forehead into the curve of his neck, she closed her eyes. Bit back a whimper. 

Gods, the need throbbing between her legs, the arousal tightening in her nipples, surprised her. After last night, she thought her libido would crash. As it always had. 

But her cunt ached, and she could only tilt her hips, a silent demand for more. Wolffe acquiesced, and his fingers sunk deeper. His mouth dropped to her breast, and she let her head fall back, moaning as he bit the soft underside of her breast, sucked on her nipple. 

At some point, the heat of his mouth an exquisite stimulation to her nipple, the consistent massage of his fingers to that sensitive spot inside her, her cunt was contracting around his fingers, and she was coming.

Dazed kisses followed. They stumbled into their bed, and soon Kazi was straddling him, bracing a palm on his chest, slowly lowering herself onto his lubed cock. 

The stretch—the fullness of him inside her so soon—bordered pain, and she started to tremble as she dragged her clit against his lower stomach. Sought the spark of pleasure.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Wolffe moaned, gripping her waist like he wanted to push her away. 

He was trembling beneath her, his jaw clenched tightly and eyes squeezed shut; he was hissing into her neck, long and gasping groans. His thrusts were jerky, like he was trying to control himself but was too needy for her.

“You can come, Wolffe,” Kazi murmured. Lifting his jaw, she peered into his face, saw the slipping restraint, the desperation, the flare of disappointment. She brushed her thumb along his cheekbone. “I want to watch you come.”

A glassy look glazed his eyes and then he was thrusting into her harder. Once. Twice. A choked moan cut through his harsh pants, his hands flexed on her hips, and he came, biting into her shoulder as he jerked beneath her. 

While Wolffe’s breathing slowed and cum pooled between them, Kazi appreciated the shudders arcing through his body, the devastation etched into his face—the relief, the contentment. 

Her appreciation didn’t last long because he was flipping them over and lowering his head between her thighs, sucking on her clit. Heat spasmed in her cunt. She bowed into him, muffling her cries into her sheets. Long licks inside her cunt, a hard suck to her clit, and she was shaking as she came.

Later, lying atop her, his weight a smothering blanket, Wolffe nuzzled his cheek into her neck. “ ‘Mornin’, Kazi,” he murmured, again.

A smile warmed her cheeks. “ ‘Morning, Wolffe.”

They forewent their swim and run, basking in soft touches and lazy kisses, and once pale sunlight was frolicking across their entangled bodies, they showered individually, dressed—Kazi in her robe, Wolffe in his gray sweats—and stripped her bed. 

With a promise to make breakfast and to start the wash on the sheets, Wolffe kissed her temple and made for the door. His startled “Fuck” alerted her to the tiny person standing right outside. Dimples in her cheeks, Neyti looked from Wolffe, still shirtless, to Kazi, and then back to Wolffe.

“Flowers!” the little girl exclaimed.

Rubbing the back of his neck, Wolffe threw Kazi an amused look. “Yeah, kid. We’ll get them after breakfast.”

Neyti patted his thigh and then wandered into the room. A hairbrush and ties in her hands, she approached Kazi. 

“The same braids?” Kazi asked, grinning. 

With an earnest nod, Neyti perched herself on the edge of the bed. Kazi glanced at Wolffe; he stood in the doorway, his smile soft. They shared a silent look.

So much for keeping things hidden from Neyti.

It’ll be okay, his expression seemed to say.

That night, Wolffe joined her again in bed, the black notebook his loyal companion. 

That night, exhausted from extra hours at work, her late evening meteor watch with Neyti, Daria, and Nova, and the soreness in her body, she was almost asleep when Wolffe knocked on her door. He joined her again in bed, the black notebook his loyal companion. 

Rather than having sex, he told her a story about him and Fox when they were younglings, the depth of his voice, the lowly rasp, lulling her to sleep immediately. And sleep embraced her for long hours until she awoke to a sharp, twisting pain in her stomach. 

Wolffe found her wiping the blood from her thighs, the shower starting to warm. He did a quick assessment; his confusion faded into understanding.

“Can I do anything?” he asked.

She flushed the bloody toilet paper, testing the shower’s water. “Just give me an hour alone.”

“I’ll get Neyti ready. And I’ll take her to school.”

“No.” She offered him an exasperated smile. “I’ll do that.”

Rolling his shoulders back, he said, softly, “I’m more than capable of taking care of her, Ennari.”

“I am too,” she said. An uncomfortable heat clammed her skin, and she gritted her teeth, despising the sweat itching her neck, arms, and lower back. “I’ve survived on my own without you.”

“I know.” His expression grew hard, stony. “But you don’t have to do it all alone. Not anymore.”

Annoyance, brief, subtle, edged his tone, and she stiffened.

I want to feel needed.

The words from a month ago whispered in the back of her mind. A gentle reminder.

“It’s one morning,” Wolffe added. 

“Fine.” He continued to study her, a crease between his brows and a flex to his jaw, and she sighed. “Thank you.”

His chin dipped. He started to close the door but paused. “You take any medicine?”

“No.” She stepped into the shower. “Just a heating pad.”

“I’ll give you an hour.” 

After her shower, she found her heating pad set on high and ready for use. Something thick lodged itself in the back of her throat. An unwanted reminder she hastily shoved aside.

They forewent sex the last few nights, again, but Wolffe still slept in her bed. 

One night she awoke to him seated on the edge of the mattress, his hands pressed to his ears. Another night she awoke to a weak light trailing from the ‘fresher. Inside, she found Wolffe reading from his notebook, his skin sweaty. 

Both nights she sat beside him, close yet untouching, a silent companion. To remind him he wasn’t alone. 

Each morning she awoke to him playing with a strand of her hair as he waited for her to join him. 

“Have you named it?” Kazi asked, stroking the anooba’s tail.

Wolffe considered the creature. “Pet?”

She snorted. “We’ll leave it up to Neyti, then.”

A roll of his eyes was his sole response, and Wolffe snuggled the anooba closer to his chest. The canine nuzzled its head against Wolffe, a low rumble, similar to a cat’s, emanating from its chest. Wolffe started to grin—

A pink tongue lapped at his chin. He jerked back.

“I think he likes you,” Kazi said, laughing.

“He can show it without licking me,” Wolffe growled. Wiping his chin against his shoulder, he scowled. The anooba blinked at him, its eyes wide and guileless. Almost like it was apologizing. Wolffe sighed. He rustled the canine’s head. 

For some time, Kazi was content to watch Wolffe with the anooba. 

But the longer she watched him—the longer she observed the gentle smile on his face—a tendril of unease unfurled the length of her spine. It snapped and sparked, wound tight, constricting her chest.

Because this was a pet. It was…permanent. And if something happened between her and Wolffe, what would happen to the canine? 

The backdoor snapped. A giggle followed.

Daria and Cody strolled into the living area, Neyti seated atop Cody’s shoulders. The woven basket in the little girl’s hands bore the reaping of their gardening. 

Smiles and laughter and crinkled eyes surrounded the trio. Fox and Nova joined, and it seemed the trio’s joy was contagious because the two men bore easy, relaxed expressions.

From afar, Kazi watched Wolffe turn toward Neyti, and she watched Neyti’s mouth fall open and her gray eyes widen. She watched Cody set Neyti on the ground, and she watched Neyti approach Wolffe, glancing between him and the anooba. 

She watched as Wolffe carefully placed the anooba in Neyti’s arms. She watched as Neyti considered the anooba, and the anooba considered her. And she watched as raw, tender adoration spread across Neyti’s face and the little girl pressed a gentle kiss to the anooba’s ear.

Voices ebbed around Kazi, waves flowing and receding, distant yet ubiquitous. 

If something happened between her and Wolffe, what would happen to Neyti? 

Neyti who spent her afternoons gardening with Wolffe. 

Neyti who asked him to read her to bed last night. 

Neyti who had endured horrific loss at such a young age and who was only just breaking out of her shell. Who was only just speaking. 

Colorful paintings brightened the living area. 

Five dragons crawled among the succulents foresting the bookcase.  

A completed quilt comforted the back of the couch. 

Wood carving tools, puzzle pieces, paintbrushes, trauma-therapy books, a bowl of chocolates.

The house no longer felt like a structure for survival. 

It was… Fuck, it was a home. 

And it was all so fucking permanent Kazi thought she might be sick. 

“Zee?” The nickname startled her enough she flinched. Daria stepped closer, concern rounding her eyes. “Are you okay?”

“Fine.” Kazi forced herself to focus on her sister’s face. To unclench her shaking fists. To smile. “I just…don’t know what to think about the dog.”

A few seconds passed as Daria regarded her, and she tensed beneath the suspicion pinching her sister’s eyebrows together.

“It’s a pet,” Daria said. 

A cold sweat was trickling down her spine, and she cleared her throat, straightening. “I know.”

Kazi averted her gaze. Her sight snagged on Wolffe. He was watching her, familiar calculation narrowing his eyes.

Ignoring his unspoken question, she shared a smile with Neyti, squeezed her sister’s shoulder, and then grabbed the window cleaner and rag, returning to her cleaning. 

All she needed to do was ignore it. Ignore all of it. 

So she did.

“Did you know?” 

Placid waves lapped at the lake’s sandy shore, and the canopied trees cast the clearing in flickering shade. Sand shifted beneath her feet as Kazi paused, staring out at the center of the lake.

“I recognized its shape,” she said. 

From the corner of her eye, Fox nodded. Whispers of sunlight streamed through his hair, the curls still styled militaristically. Similar to Cody. And yet its reasoning different.

“But I wasn’t sure why you were building it,” she added.

The canoe bobbed on the lake’s surface. Neyti sat in the center, the oars resting in her lap as Fluffy—the anooba’s name Fox jokingly offered that Neyti quickly adopted—peered over the side. 

“I was too afraid to ask.” Fox frowned, and she grinned. “I wasn’t sure if it was a weird kink.”

Chuckling, Fox continued to watch Neyti and Fluffy. “Do you think she’ll like it?”

A squeal echoed across the lake. Nova was rocking the canoe, causing small wakes to spread across the stilled surface. Neyti batted at his hands. Sunlight emphasized her dimples as she giggled. Fluffy yapped a high-pitched bark at Nova and the man flicked the canine’s nose, ducking back beneath the water. Tail wagging, Fluffy pawed at the surface. Neyti gripped the oars and propelled the canoe forward.

“Honestly,” Kazi said, “you can give her all the presents you want, but it won’t ever matter because you don’t allow her to know you.”

Fox stiffened, and, slowly, he levelled an impassive look on her. 

“You’re keeping her at arms distance.” Kazi withstood the warning sharpening his gaze. Her voice softened. “You’ll never know if someone wants you in their life if you never give them the opportunity to know you.”

“What about you?” Fox slid his hands into his pockets. “You gonna take your own advice?” 

Her mouth flattened. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

At his disparaging scoff, she grew rigid. He arched a brow. A taunt. “My brother’s never slept with a woman.”

“He’s had sexual partners before—”

“He’s never slept with them.”

Kazi could only blink her surprise. Wolffe had never mentioned it…

“You didn’t know,” Fox said, appalled.

“No.” Her gaze flitted to where Wolffe laid on a blanket, reading. “He didn’t tell me.”

Dragging a hand through his hair, such an unusual display of his frustration, Fox sighed. “I want the best for my brother.”

Inside, somewhere behind her ribcage, a glow banked, shriveling. Kazi murmured, “I know.”

Fox assessed her, and it was the blatant apathy in his face that had her lifting her chin, steeling her expression.

“You’re too scared to open yourself to Neyti,” she said. His nostrils flared, a muscle ticked in his jaw, but he didn’t move. He didn’t contradict her. “She wants to know you. And keeping your distance is only hurting her feelings.” 

She turned away.

“Kazi.” 

A glance over her shoulder revealed Fox regarding her, his head cocked to the side. The stance was so similar to Wolffe she had to blink a few times to clear away the image. To remind herself this was Fox, and he had said those things. 

Fox hesitated and then he faced the lake. “Ask Wolffe about the first holofilm he saw.” 

Kazi scanned his side profile; as always—as he had trained—his demeanor revealed nothing, steadily unruffled. And yet there was a challenge in his gaze. Challenge and intrigue.

Too tired to analyze Fox further, and with his cryptic recommendation in mind, she continued on her way.

A wave washed across her bare feet, a sportive tug to join; the sand crumbled beneath her. 

If she focused on the wet sand, listened to the placid loll of the rolling waves, she could pretend she was on Ceaia. In Outlook Harbor right before the Purge. She could pretend she was wandering the ocean’s shore, catching a break from the confines of her family’s house, as she did most mornings, to avoid her mother and pretend her sister’s condition wasn’t worsening. There was a comfort to it—the illusion. 

A splash and a laugh interrupted her memories. 

Smiling smally at Neyti and Fluffy, the two searching the depths for Nova, Kazi made her way to Wolffe. An arm rested behind his head as he read his bee farming book, and at her approach, he looked up. His eyes wandered across her face. 

“Everything good?” he asked. 

“Fine.” 

Kazi joined him on the blanket and rested her chin atop her bent knees. Across the lake, Daria and Cody strolled together, the former leaning against the latter. Their pace was leisurely, borderline slow. 

Her sister’s symptoms had worsened the last few days—spasming fingers, shortness of breath, fainting spells. Kazi knew Daria’s inability to cook—her reliance on Cody to garden, and now to stroll the shore—was grating on her sister: the lack of independence, feeling like a burden. 

Daria kept her frustrations to herself but Kazi saw them. She had seen her sister’s flushed cheeks when she couldn’t dice a tomato, and she had seen her sister’s worried expression last night at dinner when she was struggling to eat. 

Kazi dug her fingernails into her palms. 

Wolffe nudged her ankle. “Was it Fox?”

From their spot on the shore, the tree canopy was thinner, the sunshine warm on her back. She angled her head downward, to take in Wolffe. “Why did you both fight?”

If the question surprised him, he didn’t let it show. Instead, he chuffed a wry chuckle, closing his book. 

“I was pissed at him for not leaving. Thought he was a coward,” Wolffe said. His fingers drummed against the book. “And he was pissed at me for making the decision for him. And for endangering myself to get him out.” A muscle flexed in his jaw; disapproval, exasperation, darkened his face. “He was good with being left behind. But I wasn’t.”

With a knowing smile, she started to unroll the cuffs of her trousers, the damp material wetting her ankles. “Fox said you both handled the situation physically.”

“We got into it.” Wolffe pushed himself to a seated position. A finger skimmed her ankle. “We were pissed. Had a lot of pent-up anger. And we needed to let it out. We talked afterward.”

“But things were still tense between you. For a long time,” Kazi said. The Empire’s arrival had changed their dynamic, though. Soothed the vestiges of resentment. 

Wolffe shrugged. “Fox is overbearing.”

“A shared characteristic,” she remarked.

He shot her an unamused glare, and then sobered, observing the lake. “The War changed him. Reading all those reports on each battle fucked him up. Desensitized him to the loss. He stopped caring.”

“Except about you and Cody.”

“He wants the best for us.” Wolffe hesitated. “Fox and I had a conversation two years into the War. It…changed things.” He shook his head. “And now he believes he knows what’s best for me. He doesn’t like my methods.”

A breath lapsed, and Kazi lifted her cheek from her knees. “What’s best for you?”

Wolffe slid his gaze in her direction; disapproval narrowed his eyes. “Careful, Ennari.”

Kazi considered him through equally narrowed eyes, wavering between her need for answers and the fear at what those answers would reveal. It didn’t matter, though. A remote look had settled into Wolffe’s features, a look resolute in its resolve.

The crunch of wet sand interrupted their impasse, an announcement of Neyti’s arrival, Fluffy trotting at her heels. The canine leapt onto Wolffe and licked his face.

“Get off,” Wolffe growled. He glared at the anooba. Fluffy wagged his tail; his tongue lolled. 

Giggling, Neyti plopped onto the blanket and popped a grape into her mouth. One of her braids was unraveling.

“Want me to fix that?” Kazi asked.

“I can do it,” Wolffe offered.

Both Kazi and Neyti blinked at him. They shared an incredulous look. Wolffe stared back, undeterred. 

Though Neyti’s dubious expression was full of skepticism, Wolffe beckoned her closer and the little girl obliged, settling onto his lap, albeit hesitantly. 

While Wolffe worked on Neyti’s braid, Kazi let her gaze drift back to Fox. Nova had joined him. The two men stood together, the former’s hands still in his pockets, the latter skipping rocks across the lake’s surface. Fox seemed lost in thought, a contemplative tilt to his head as he stared at the grounded canoe. 

A part of her wished she hadn’t walked away. Wished she had stayed and talked. It might have been helpful. To the both of them.

Wolffe’s hedged “It’s not perfect” interrupted her musings, and Kazi returned her attention to man and girl, her eyes widening at the sight before her. Hastily, she smothered her laugh behind her hand because—

Neyti’s braid stuck out. Like a cat’s broken tail. 

Frowning, Neyti wandered to the lake and stared at her reflection. Her mouth fell open. Wolffe grimaced. The little girl turned on them, her nose scrunching. “Mr. Wolffe.” 

Kazi pressed her hand harder against her mouth; her body shook from her suppressed laughter.

“This is bad.” Neyti gestured to her lopsided braid. “Really bad.”

“At least you tried,” Kazi offered.

Chastised, Wolffe scrubbed his jaw. “You make it look easy.”

“Come on,” she said, still chuckling to herself. “I’ll show you how to do it.”

Satisfied, Neyti popped another grape into her mouth and seated herself on the blanket. As Kazi ran her hands through the loose ends of Neyti’s black hair, the strands thick and soft, Wolffe watched: the sectioning of hair, the weaving pattern, her hand positioning. He studied her movements like he studied his strategy plans—hyper-focused and reserved.

Soon the braid matched its twin.

“You are impressive, Ennari,” Wolffe murmured.

“I’ve had years of practice,” Kazi said, bumping her shoulder to his. “You’ll learn.”

With a contented nod, Neyti regained her feet and scrounged in her trousers’ pockets, retrieving a collection of squashed flowers. Silvered petals. Long, lithe stems. 

Kazi surveyed the collection. “Do you want these in your hair?”

A mischievous grin dimpled her cheeks as Neyti turned her attention to Wolffe. The man considered her, her outstretched palm of squashed flowers, and then he scoffed.

“No.” His tone was firm.

Neyti blinked at him, imploring.

Wolffe shook his head.

The little girl’s eyes rounded.

The man remained resolved in his decision.

Dropping her gaze to the flowers, Neyti played with a stem. She glanced once more at Wolffe. An innocent plea softened her countenance.

“Fine.” Wolffe heaved an aggrieved sigh, and Neyti grinned, placing the flowers in his lap. He eyed the daisy-like collection and added, “But only this once.”

At the resignation in his scowl, Kazi laughed, her smile so wide it hurt. Neyti giggled too but it quickly subsided; she stepped closer, a curious twinkle in her eyes. And then she poked Kazi’s cheek. 

Rubbing her cheek, Kazi frowned. “What is it?”

Neyti tapped her cheek and then poked Kazi’s.

“Oh.” Kazi chuckled, leaning back on her hands. “Yeah. I have dimples, too.”

Awe brightened her face and Neyti glanced at Wolffe. He was observing them in that quiet manner of his—assessing but also merely content to watch. His smile was soft, and when Neyti poked his cheek, he barked a sharp laugh.

“Nah,” he said. “I don’t have them.” 

A butterfly fluttered past, and Fluffy leapt after it. With a final look at Kazi, Neyti bounded after the anooba, chasing Fluffy around the lake’s edge toward Daria and Cody. 

For a while, Kazi and Wolffe watched them, their silence companionable. 

Eventually, though, Wolffe lounged back, resting his head in her lap. Kazi brushed a curl from his forehead and reached for a flower, winding its long stem through his hair.

“We gonna talk about it, Ennari?”

Weaving a second flower into his hair, she paused. “What?”

“This morning.” His lashes fluttered as he stared up at her. “Don’t deny it. I saw it.”

“It’s just…” Kazi chewed the inside of her cheek. She let out a breath. “Pets are permanent, and they require planning for the future.”

“Let me make this clear: The anooba is not your responsibility.” He handed her another flower. “Fox and I will take care of it. You have my word.” 

Her nod did little to ease the rigidity in his shoulders, and he frowned at her. “What else?”

Rolling the flower between her fingers, she pursed her mouth. “I just…so much is changing. And the future…”

“It’s outside your control.”

So many variables were at play—her rekindling relationship with Daria, her sister’s worsening condition, her growing bond with Neyti, Wolffe’s persistency a crutch she was relying on. And now they had a pet added to the mess. 

“Yeah,” Kazi said, mustering a tight smile. “And I hate it.”

Wolffe surveyed her for several seconds, as if he sensed there was more on her mind. So she softened her smile and brushed a knuckle along his cheek. The stiffness in his body loosened, and when she swept a finger along his temple, his eyes closed once more.

A monkey yowl cut through the clearing; the creature appeared a moment later, sitting on a branch as it perused the humans beneath it. 

Long minutes passed while Kazi wove the flowers through Wolffe’s hair. They dappled his curls in varying shades of gray. A contrast to the dark black, yet complimentary to the white scar slashing his eye and cheek.

Sunshine warmed his skin, and he looked younger like this. Wrinkles smoothed, his head tilted back in her lap. Carefree, unburdened by his missions, almost serene. 

Kazi snapped a photo with her datapad. Maybe Neyti would paint him like this. To memorialize this small, simple moment.

“Is that something you think about a lot?” Kazi asked, tracing his rounded jawline. “The future?”

Wolffe rubbed his cheek against her hand. Stubble scratched her palm. “I like to be prepared.” He scanned her face. “Do you think about it?” 

“Thinking about the future has never done me any good,” she said.

His eyes narrowed, and she thought she saw a flicker of disappointment tighten his mouth. It was swiftly replaced. Instead, Wolffe straightened and repositioned himself beside her, leaning back on his hands. 

“You don’t want kids,” he said. The curiosity in his voice was gentle yet probing.

“I never have.” She breathed a mirthless laugh. “But most people in the harbor would argue I’m still too young to know what I want. That my opinion will inevitably change.”

Wolffe pinched a flower stem between his fingers. “You’re twenty-seven.”

She shrugged. “Most Ceaian women don’t have children until their forties. So I’m still considered young.”

“Why wait that long?”

“It’s a status thing. Women who give birth in their forties require a good midwife. And only those with money can afford the best.” Bending her knees, she rested her chin atop them. Across the shore, Fluffy pounced on a stick. “And a man whose wife has children at a later age is a man who is seen as a provider. He’s well-respected in the community.”

A thoughtful noise sounded from Wolffe. He rolled the flower stem once more and then tucked it behind her ear, adjusting the flower. His mouth curved in satisfaction. 

“Do you want children?” Kazi asked tentatively.

He blinked; his hand fell away. “I’ve never had the luxury to consider it.”

“You do now.”

“Do I?”

“Wolffe.” His eyes remained on hers, unwavering. Seeking. She searched his face. “If you want kids, that’s something important about you. And it’s something I should know.”

Sighing, he played with the end of her braid. “If I had the opportunity to be a father, I wouldn’t balk at it.”

“You would be a good father,” she said softly. His throat dipped. Toeing the cool sand beneath her, Kazi wrapped her arms around her legs. “I’ve heard stories. About women who felt…empty after giving birth. Like they couldn’t continue.” A cloud covered the sun and she suddenly felt cold. Clammy. “That’s what really scares me. I don’t want to experience that.” 

“And I respect that,” Wolffe said staunchly. “But having a kid and raising one are two different things.” 

“Yeah. But taking care of an infant is even less appealing. Sleepless nights. A kid constantly crying. The complete and utter dependency on you. There’s no escape.”

Wolffe hummed his agreement, resting her braid against her back. “Neyti isn’t an infant.”

Kazi tensed. “Wolffe…”

“You’re raising her admirably,” he said. She started to shake her head but he gripped her knee, peering into her face. “You are. I don’t understand how you don’t see it—”

“We’ve had this conversation before—”

“I know. But Kazi, that kid loves you.” Desperation underscored the urgency in his voice. The steadfastness. “Think about what she wants.”

“She’s a child,” Kazi argued. “She doesn’t know what’s best for her.”

“Then listen to me.” He squeezed her knee harder. “I know that you’re best for her—”

“I’ve fucked up—”

“Every parent has.”

She dug her fingernails into her ankles. “She deserves the best this galaxy has to offer her.”

“What if the best for her is you?” Wolffe demanded. Kazi hugged her knees tighter, her eyes on his. He looked like he wanted to say more but he held himself back, releasing her knee. With a heavy breath, he said, “Just…consider the possibility, Ennari.”

Whatever steadfast belief had hardened his countenance settled into guarded reticence. And because he was still staring at her, his expression a little raw, she said, “I didn’t go to my father’s funeral.” 

A blink was his only response, and she dropped her gaze.

“I refused to go,” she said. “I was ten and one morning he was there and that evening he wasn’t and I was so mad at him. It didn’t matter that it was an accident—that he didn’t do it on purpose. I was mad because he abandoned us.”

Leaves shuddered and branches swayed. Sunshine peeked through a hole in a cloud. 

“I stopped caring about other people after that. I stopped talking to my friends. I stopped engaging classmates. I stopped because I didn’t want to care for another person again… My therapist told me my grief was a good thing. It showed how much I loved my father.” A bitter chuckle escaped. “I thought she was stupid. The things I felt…” She swallowed. “I promised myself to never care again. So I wouldn’t ever have to feel like that.”

Kazi forced herself to look Wolffe in the eye. 

“Daria will die sometime soon and I’m not ready to lose her. That’s why I don’t think about the future.” She offered Wolffe a bleak smile. “You never know what will happen, and you never know who might leave.”

Though calculation dominated his gaze, Wolffe remained quiet; he didn’t offer her baseless comfort or dismiss her feelings. Instead, he gripped the back of her neck and pressed his forehead to hers. 

Hours later, spices wafted through the air, the curry Kazi and Wolffe had prepared ready for dinner.

Quickening her pace as she ascended the staircase, Kazi rolled a gray flower between her fingers. The flower Wolffe had tucked behind her ear. It was silly, but she wanted to preserve it. Hold onto the memory. And she thought the color would add some personality to her bedroom.  

She was debating where to place the flower as she reached the top of the staircase. However, the sight of Daria standing outside her bedroom door—mumbling to herself, hand spasming at her sides—made Kazi pause.

“Daria?” she asked uncertainly. “You okay?”

Daria lifted her face: green eyes bloodshot; sweat beading the crown of her head; skin a sickly white. 

Kazi’s heart sunk. “Dee?” 

Daria stared at her blankly. Like she didn’t recognize her. 

Like they weren’t sisters.

Extending her hand to her sister, Kazi took a step forward. “Let’s get you—”

Daria lunged. 

Days, weeks, months later, Kazi would look back on the moment. Analyze it, as she was wont to do. 

Her conclusion: There were a combination of things that bore the blame.

The first: shock, bewilderment, self-preservation. 

The second: To avoid Daria’s lunging figure, Kazi staggered backwards.

The third: Two spasming hands connected with her chest, and Daria shoved her. 

Feet stumbling, Kazi missed the edge of the stair.

And then she was falling.

She was falling, and all she could do was stare at her sister. Stare at the face screwed in fear. The face that didn’t recognize her.

Her back connected with the stairs. She gasped.

The flower was torn from her grasp. 

A shout of concern filled her head.

Her head smacked the staircase.

And then everything went black.

Masterlist | Chapter 22 | Chapter 24

A/N: The morning after with Wolffe (NSFW). [Again, if you like the artwork, please reblog it to show support for the artist. They deserve the respect and appreciation.]

[nonbinary-beast]

Thinking about Amaton again, maybe some Ted stuff is mixed in. Under a cut since it got long. I did a bit of research regarding nuclear fallout for this, but its not thorough and I'm probably missing a few things. Do your own research from credible sources to learn about radioactivity.

To be honest, while looking at a play through of I Have No Mouth And I Must Scream, and sort of keeping in mind something I noticed (and posted about) regarding how what is real is uncertain when dealing with AM, I sort of doubt that it is telling the truth when it says that Earth is too irradiated to be habitable again. Even the visual it gives could be another hologram and the survivors would not be able to tell. As for Ted in the story, going by the unreliable narrator trope, it could be his paranoia/delusional personality and maybe general ignorance (and maybe just how radiation was treated back when the story was written in the 60's) clouding over how nature is actually pretty fucking resilient.

Look at how the natural areas around Chernobyl have started recovering despite the high levels of radiation that were released during the reactor meltdown. That happened in the 80's, it's only been a little over 35 years since then. Granted everything is recovering a little to the left because of the radiation from what I've seen from documentaries, but there are plants and animals in there. There's also plenty of other examples of nature managing to say "fuck it we ball" in areas with high radiation with enough time to recover, but that one stood out to me because of just how fucked everything was/is. The short story takes place 109 years after AM nuked everything, by then something probably came back. Likely it started in the less contaminated parts of the planet.

Of course this is debunked with the fucking moon colony, but tbh given the interviews with Harlan Ellison, I'm thinking that was part of being guided by the game developers to make the game more appealing to players. That said I'm not really sure how much of that game really is Harlan's intent and how much of it is being guided by the dev team he was working with to make it "playable" (I would have loved to see how fucking bleak it would have been without the dev team telling him to ease up. But then again I love bleak stories that don't ease up at all.), so I don't really think of it as part of the story/universe.

So! Going off of that, at some point after AM had been exploring its own complex, spending time with Ted (IE: dating, since this is taking place after AM had decided to teach Ted how to love, as a torment that backfires spectacularly), performing maintenance on its own systems, etc. It manages to pick up some feeds from cameras it had tapped into pre-armageddon that it had ignored since it was too focused on the survivors for a while, or just did not care about the nuclear mess it left.

It finds there is green growing up there, it sees movement. Animals. Granted the animals it sees are very warped looking, but they show signs of thriving despite the conditions. It starts to think that maybe it still has a chance to see the world- maybe not as it had been before it wiped out humanity, but it would be green and growing and living.

But, it knows it cannot take Ted with it, not yet. While its own body is resilient enough to handle the possibly dangerous radiation levels, Ted is incredibly vulnerable. Certainly it could cure his radiation sickness if he joined the machine up above, but it would rather not risk that. It wants to keep Ted safe.

So it goes up alone, with plenty of resistance and protesting from Ted- mainly in the vein of being convinced that the surface is a irradiated hellhole incapable of supporting anything. At this, AM finally reveals the nature of what the surface might be like. It shows him the animals, the plants, the blue skies and gentle spring rains, the snowy winters- all of this picked from the camera feeds it has outside the access point. Ted could not believe what he is seeing, and for a moment he thinks it is another trick and all of this is some form of new psychological torment. That is, until he sees how genuine the machine's eyes are when it explains it all, the surprise and excitement in its voice for the world not being completely dead- the concern it has for Ted, his safety above all, but also how he feels about it all.

However, Ted still does not want AM to go. Despite everything, it has grown to be a companion for him. It reassures him that it will return soon, and it will leave the life support systems tuned to keep him comfortable. There is a hologram of AMaton to keep him company so he does not get lonely- which also has a connection to AMaton itself so they can communicate while it explores.

On the surface, after it gets over the awe of finally escaping its substrata rock prison and seeing the world in person, it gets to work collecting samples. Dirt, water, vegetation, it does so in a large radius around the access point it climbed out of. At this point much of the ruins of human civilization have been reclaimed and overgrown with mutated plant life- it had glimpsed images of this when it had overtaken the alien ship and stolen its tech long ago, but did not pay much attention to it at the time. Now however, it understands how it managed the luck of that opportunity.

It returns, making sure to scrub itself thoroughly of any contamination and submitting the samples for testing before reuniting with Ted. After a long and thorough set of tests for radiation contaminants, it finds that the area around the access point has low contamination- one of the biggest threats, Cesium-137, reached the end of its half life decades ago as it had suspected. Plutonium-239 and Carbon-14 however are still a looming threat with their half lives sitting the realm of thousands of years- thankfully these only did damage if ingested. However, given the time span between the end of the third world war, and AM's exploration of the surface, most of these would have ended up moreso in the ground water or deep in the soil from being washed down by natural weather patterns. So long as Ted does not ingest anything with those contaminants in it, he should be fine. AM could figure out the water filtration easily enough, although the food situation would be complicated.

Ted likely would be getting his sustenance from the immortality serum it had been pumping into him for the last century for a long while longer. It could figure this out for a short jaunt above with its human tagging along- perhaps it could modify itself to inject the serum into him at regular intervals if they decided to stay up there longer than a few days.

For now, it decides that it is safe enough to let Ted join it for a day, so they can wander and wonder.