#there is legitimately only one way out
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I’m in so much pain.
#and I can’t even bring myself to fully talk about it#idk if anyone even me understands how much danger I’m in#this isn’t even a cry for help this is just like#the situation I’ve put my emotional state in is literally inescapable and it only ends one way#there is literally only one way to make it all stop#i agonise daily over other solutions but there are none#im coming up with nothing and i don’t think any amount of talking will fix it#there is legitimately only one way out#fuck there really is only one way out of this
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I think respecting trans people comes with a territory of like... just because many people will pass as cis doesn't mean that it's a great idea to use their passing as a way of legitimizing how absurd transphobia is
Transphobia isn't absurd because I "look like a [cis] man," it's because transphobia is fucking ridiculous. It would be ridiculous whether or not I passed or whether I look like a "conventional man." I use myself as an example, but ultimately, passing or appearing normative should never play into whether or not transphobia is bad.
#trans#transgender#lgbt#lgbtq#ftm#mtf#nonbinary#transphobia#transphobia tw#like sometimes you do have to meet people where they are if you're trying to convince them to change their mind#but it does feel weird when people only have 'but she looks like a woman!!!' as a way to delegitimize the transphobia somebody would face...#...in that example would it suddenly be okay if the transphobia that trans woman* faced couldn't be defended because people didn't...#...~think she looked like a woman~#for me at least i don't think it's a sustainable strategy to rely on one's passing/percieved passing to legitimize transness...#...or to point out how ridiculous transphobia is...#...you know transphobia does a good enough job of making a fool of itself without us almost... stooping down to their level
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#kirby#plushies#kirbear#cake#daily kirby#my art#digital#hal laboratory#nintendo#this is directly referenced from an actual photo of my room#I had to add in cake and kirbear even though the bears they're based on weren't visible in the photo!#(they are directly based off bears I do have tho)#I'm very sick and it's upsetting and stressful and I do have many stuffed animals but I think I deserve another one.#since my wife is out of town for work for the next few years I get to fill her side of the bed with stuffed animals :)#(they're also like. legitimately good for my health. I can prop myself up more comfortably without hurting my joints.)#(it's the only way I can sleep when it gets really bad is draped over that giant orange squid I made.)#(I have more than what's pictured here ofc this is only one corner of my room/bed lol)#favorites
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heartbreaking: this viral post is saying things you completely agree with in the most irritating way possible
#mumbling#goD#thinking about that one cringing = pearl clutching post i saw a while ago#legitimately good points and the only time i’ve ever seen someone point out the linguistic shift#of ‘cringe’ going from verb to adjective and how that takes the blame off of the people DOING the cringing#like yeah! that’s it that’s the thing i’ve been trying to figure out how to say!!#the insidious shift from cringe as an action of the beholder to a property of the beheld is not only worth examining#but demonstrates a seriously important way our brains can be affected over time by language#that was something i didn’t even notice! sure it bothered me but i didn’t know how to express WHY#and i think it’s so cool to see someone finally manage to articulate smth that’s been pissing me off for years#HOWEVER#my god was op’s phrasing annoying the hell out of me for some reason#just written in such a grating writing style i couldn’t bring myself to reblog it even though i really wanted to
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if anyone is able to help me out i'd appreciate it, im still broke as hell. this month has been really difficult for me. i worked a total of 5 days all month and my bank account is in the negatives again after paying bills and getting some living essentials. i dont know how im going to pay my rent like this. i applied to a financial relief fund from a local trans advocacy group but it's going to be a few weeks until anything comes from that. if you have literally anything to spare it would help me out a lot 😭🙏 i feel bad ive been asking for help so often and i know everyone is struggling, im working on getting my life back in order but everything fucking sucks and is difficult right now :( even just spreading this is a huge help
pp: paypal.me/bewearrr vnm: tobias_leviathan
thank you 💕💕
#im looking for a new job but i dont think its gonna happen any time soon :( my current job is fucking miserable#im working on comms to the best of my ability but i can only draw so fast and i dont want to injure myself and its hard to stay motivated#when ur mental health is tanking so hard#my physical health has been tanking too like stress is getting to me so hard i fucking started a period out of nowhere#i havent menstruated in like 10 years legitimately#im so beyond stressed i have to stop myself from panicking all the time#i have a bunch of work coming up this week but its nowhere near full time#they schedule based 'on performance' when youre part time and since im only here one day a week and they put me at the station i hate--#the most its almost inevitable that theyre using this as a way to get me to not be there. i dont think my boss likes me very much.#bc then they can claim my performance isnt good BECAUSE YOU PUT ME ON THE TASK THAT IVE SAID FROM DAY ONE I DONT WANT TO DO
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how is sex work perceived and treated - spiritually, legally, morally - in broad areas relevant to the white calf core cast? imperial wardi, the hills etc
Sex work is EXTREMELY stigmatized in Imperial Wardin, yet generally regarded as an element of society and a necessary function, not one to be eliminated. You'll occasionally find fringe groups decrying the presence of brothels as polluting elements upon cities, but they are minority figures- sex work is legal, generally accepted, and very common.
There are some exceptions- in most of the city-states, only sex work out of registered brothels is considered fully legal (independent sex workers are breaking the law in most city-states, though how much these laws are enforced varies heavily). All legally operating brothels must be officially registered, and are heavily taxed.
Prostitution of children is illegal, and this is one of VERY few protections for sex workers that is strongly enforced. But it should be clear that the societal definition of a child here does not match the contemporary- a person is generally considered an adult woman upon menarche (which is later on average due to poorer nutrition, but is still going to include a lot of like, 14 year olds). Boys are considered adults at the age of 16.
Forced prostitution is also illegal on paper, but this is poorly enforced. Even when not Outright forced, many sex workers are working as indentured laborers, or under prohibitive conditions where they have very little freedom of movement or legal ability to leave during the duration of their contracts.
Sex workers are an incredibly vulnerable, stigmatized social minority that have very few protections and are often subject to abuse.
The stigma against sex work surrounds the sex workers themselves. This is culturally justified and partly rooted in aspects of broader body taboo- receiving penetration = metaphysical vulnerability = openness to spiritual pollution, and they are considered to be heavily polluted by their line of work (regardless of whether or not a given person actually is receiving penetration on a regular basis- male sex workers who primarily have women as clients receive much the same treatment, the stigma here is fundamentally a form of bigotry, not something with a consistent internal logic).
In addition to concerns around penetration, the act of '''selling''' the body itself is seen as a polluting devaluation of the sacred body and using it to extreme excess. Sexuality and libido is societally valued, but in a framework of moderation- sex workers are seen as wildly out of moderation and are often ascribed qualities of an excessive libido by virtue of their line of work.
Sex workers are prohibited from entering most temples and participating in many public rites, justified in their ‘polluted’ status, under the assumption that it will de-purify the place and sully most rites. This serves to keep them isolated from key facets of social life and culture, and can leave many spiritually ostracized (most sex workers from within this cultural sphere are also going to believe in notions that they are spiritually polluted, with limited outlets to cleanse themselves).
There is one folk tradition that has developed to assuage some of these fears and the sense of isolation- an epithet to the Face Ganmache that translates literally to 'Mother of Whores' (a rather strong name that reclaims degrading slang in the original language as well), which watches over sex workers and their labors. This is wholly a folk tradition and not part of core dogma, and priests are self-appointed, mostly elderly former sex workers. They provide rites of purification and blessings for those denied access to temples, sometimes train themselves as midwives to assist in births (or abortions), and will help ensure deceased workers get proper funeral rites.
Generally, the concept of something being spiritually polluted translates to full avoidance of the person/place/thing involved, but these concerns are rarely applied to the Hiring of sex workers (ie they are spiritually polluted and highly impure and shouldn't enter temples but you, the client, are not affected by contact). While some people will try to provide logical explanations for why hiring a sex worker is not polluting, this does not have any true underlying logic and is a product of a society that both reviles sex workers and desires their labor.
They are generally expected to visually identify themselves as sex workers at all times- the exact details vary by city-state, but wearing hair unbraided and an uncovered head in public is most common (particularly in the west of the region).
Male sex workers are denied certain rights otherwise available by default to men (self-legal representation, ability to own land that is not gifted, etc). Female sex workers do not have these rights to begin with, and have even more difficulty than other women in finding legal representation, given that they situationally rarely have fathers/husbands/male family members willing to support them.
Because of their inability to represent themselves in court and the difficulty in finding representation, they often have little to no recourse against abuse or violations of their contracts. There are some lawyers who specialize in representing sex workers (fewer still who do this entirely out of benevolence for a vulnerable social class), but they are few and far between.
The majority of sex work is marketed towards male clients, and the majority of sex workers are women. Male sex workers are mostly young men who serve male clients, and will usually keep themselves beardless and not overtly masculine (while not distinctly effeminate either) to remain desirable targets for the sexual outlet of most men. (There is no concept of sexuality in this culture- if you are a man, you are a penetrative partner in sex and the gender of the receiving partner is of little concern. Younger men beneath you in social stature (in practice, these are almost always sex workers) are considered appropriate targets of male desire, and as such you have some men who would be considered heterosexual by contemporary standards having sex with other men). Male workers who primarily serve female clients tend to vary more in age and have less social restrictions on their appearance or masculine presentation.
Eunuch sex workers usually serve male clients, and are regarded as appropriate targets of male attraction regardless of their age (largely as they are seen as entirely incapable of performing penetrative roles, and conceptualized as de-gendered). Akoshos (those designated male who perform women's gender roles) sex workers are seen as uniquely predisposed to serve both male and female clients, as their gendered space is broadly conceptualized as dual-gendered (being physically capable of performing 'male' penetrative roles while living under women's social roles)
Hiring of sex workers is not considered infidelity and is entirely permissible to do while married, though women are often heavily discouraged from doing so (largely out of concerns of pregnancy, partly out of patriarchal control over women's sexual behavior). A woman who pays for sex work receives more scrutiny than is applied to men. It is not outright inappropriate, but can be considered indicative of an excessive libido or overmasculinization. Women are imagined as having naturally lower libidos than men, so behaviors that challenge this notion tend to be be noted.
The only circumstances in which hiring sex workers as a man attracts scrutiny is when it is deemed excessive, symptomatic of an uncontrolled libido. Men who hire male sex workers closer to their age and/or bearded will also attract scrutiny- while not outright Condemned, it's suspiciously out of the acceptable range for male desire (though will most often similarly be interpreted as an excessive, uncontrolled libido, ie you'll just fuck anything with a hole). Receiving penetration from a sex worker as a man is wholly condemned, as is seen as UNIQUELY violating, not only a severe deviance from male social roles, but at the hands of a stigmatized, polluted figure that is at the absolute bottom of the social ladder. This usually happens in secret and often involves paying the worker off for their silence.
The one major exception to stigma against sex workers is in the lemna courtesan tradition. Lemna are mostly unmarried women and/or akoshos who are very skilled trained performers who work as entertainers for wealthy clients. Their services are not sexual in nature, rather they sing, dance, act, play music, and recite poetry, and are skilled conversationalists that provide company for clients. Lemna usually operate out of elite brothels, but as separate services to the sex workers, and are in theory never available for sex work. Lemna providing sex work sometimes (though not frequently) occurs in practice, but it is always be presented as something they have not been Paid to do- their payment was for entertainment, and they will present it as a (almost always purely fantastical) situation that they have grown attracted to their client and are engaging in a romantic tryst.
Lemna courtesanship is long-established and a valued part of this culture's art and theater traditions, and they do not face the same stigma as sex workers, rather being seen as an elite class of performers. They do not exactly have a High place in society either (as unmarried civilian women and/or akoshos, they are notably lacking in social power), but the regard towards them is overall positive. The exemption to this stigma partially lies within the framework of body taboo (they do not explicitly 'sell' their bodies or directly engage in sex work), but is largely rooted in the esteem of their tradition rather than any coherent logic.
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Sex work has a much less significant, less complicated, and less intensely stigmatized place in the highlands, mostly due to its reduced presence. Most people are living in relatively small agricultural villages, or transiently as herders, so there are fewer opportunities for sex workers to operate on regular and official levels. The only places you can reliably find sex workers within the highlands are in small quasi-towns that crop up around land trade routes, or occasionally as traveling traders (usually offering material goods in addition to sex work services).
There’s also no intra-highlands currency system, so sex workers will usually be paid in goods, which in turn influences the cultural lens on sex work. Goods have direct, immediate utilitarian value that currency does not, and paying goods for service is most pragmatically done as a means of material practicality- forming alliances, acquiring farmhands, receiving the defensive or offensive service of warriors, etc, not for temporary gratification.
The fact that this cultural sphere is fairly egalitarian in terms of gender (though it has strongly enforced, separate gender roles for married men and women) also contributes to the comparative lack of stigma- part of the Imperial Wardi stigma against sex work is interwoven with misogyny (with women sex workers being the most degraded extent of femininity, and male sex workers taking on inappropriate, degraded feminine roles in providing sexual services). Women have equal overall societal power to men in the Hill Tribes cultural sphere, and things associated with femininity are not Themselves degrading (men seen as feminine are not shamed for femininity itself, rather in their specific failure to perform male gender roles- the distinction can be subtle but is very significant to how gender roles are approached).
Casual sex between unmarried men and women is fully accepted, somewhat seen as a hallmark of youth. However, married couples are expected to remain exclusively faithful to one another. This also goes a ways to discourage hiring of sex workers, which would be accepted grounds for a divorce and a mark of shame on the person who strayed.
While not excessively stigmatized, the views on sex work here is nowhere near Enlightened And Supportive either, it’s still seen as a highly degrading, unfortunate line of work. Sex workers are usually going to be unmarried women of marriageable age who could not (or would not) acquire a husband for one reason or another. They are women who failed in expected roles of marriage and becoming the manager of a family’s home and property, and have not even taken an esteemed, productive role for spinsters (usually physical labor in herding, farming, raiding) in favor of one that is considered ‘selling’ one’s body to provide useless, base services to desperate men. It's something that will usually be looked at as sad and unfortunate at best, or an absurd dereliction of duty at worst.
Male sex workers are virtually unheard of (within the highlands at least, there's cultural stereotypes of Wardi men being effeminate and predisposed to sex with men, so of course THEY'VE got male sex workers all over the fucking place), and the concept of a man operating as a sex worker would just seem absurd to most.
But the levels of social shame surrounding sex work are actually higher for the client in this cultural context- it’s suggestive that you either cannot afford to get a wife/do not have the requisite masculine skillset to be a husband, or otherwise that you’re so utterly incapable of getting laid that you have to go to great effort and barter for sex, a petty expense of valuable goods. It's both a foolish waste and in many ways a failure of expected male gender roles. Most men who hire the services of sex workers will keep it on the down low, or (if living near the borders) commute to Wardi towns or tradeways for access. It’s seen as an act of desperation, foolish, emasculating, and will generally be mocked and shamed.
I actually have a framework of a folktale that kind of demonstrates the cultural lens pre-established (no names for the characters or clans involved, it's supposed to be of the far northern Bict-Braíghnnas tribe). I'll put it under the cut:
One of the folktales describes a young woman who was strikingly beautiful and exceedingly clever. She was of the Bict-Braíghnnas, the lone daughter of a very small, very poor clan, consisting only of her immediate family and a few cousins. Her father had died young, and her younger brothers and cousins were malnourished and inexperienced, and could do little to protect or grow their meager herd of horses (they certainly could not afford cattle). She had to take on the role of the provider for herself and remained unmarried long past marriageable age, living day by day doing whatever she could to scrape by and keep her family afloat.
She became aware that the patriarch of her ruling clan had an eye for her, and he began approaching her in hopes of soliciting sex. At first, she always brushed him off. She found him repulsive, as he was foolish and greedy and rather ugly. But she started to see an opportunity in all this. It was a humiliating opportunity, but one she was willing to take.
The next time he approached, she pretended to consider his advances, but only if he should provide payment in turn- if she was as beautiful as he kept saying, and he was as wealthy as he kept bragging, wouldn't it be worth the price? He first offered her a sack of barley, but she laughed him off. He then offered her fine clothes, but she feigned insult, was she not already beautiful even in poor, worn rags? He then offered her a breeding pair of pheasants, and she pushed aside her shawl to expose her breasts, and sweetly asked if he Really could not do better, wealthy in cattle as he was. The man was now, quite clearly, hard in his trousers.
He finally relented to an obscene payment- he would go under his wife (the owner of his cattle)'s nose and give her an adult cow, in payment for having sex with him just once. This is a high price to pay, but she was gorgeous and he was rich in cattle and could afford to lose one (or two. or five. Maybe more.). She accepted his offer and had sex with him, and came away with her very first cow.
(Some tellings of this story go on a tangent here where she sneaks the cow right back into the man's fields under cover of darkness, to breed it with one of his bulls and begin forming her own herd)
Over the next several months, he started regularly approaching her for sex in exchange for cattle, until he had to start coming up with explanations to his wife as to where the missing cattle had gone- he first claimed they were given as gifts, then that some were stolen, inventing wild stories of great raids and declaring open conflict with the greatest rival to his clan, all as means of masking his dalliances. This skirmishing came at great cost to his own clan, but he was too foolish and weak-willed to stop.
The woman was meanwhile using her newfound and growing wealth in cattle to make connections and political moves, slowly establishing herself as a powerful figure and having many in her debt. Her brothers and cousins, finally well fed, grew tall and healthy and began to take on roles as herders, protectors, and raiders, with the assistance of more young men gained in alliance. All the while, she dutifully continued her paid trysts with the patriarch whenever he summoned her.
Eventually, the man had given her so many cattle (which had been bred in the meantime, and more had been acquired in trade and raids) that she had three times as many as he did. One day, she did not appear as expected. She had amassed great wealth for herself and her clan, and had been courting the unwed son of the patriarch’s rival clan. The son paid a hefty bride price for her, and they were wed on that day.
Now the wealthiest in cattle and the most powerful clan in the valley, the woman and her new husband ousted the weakened and disgraced former patriarch, becoming the new ruling clan of the Bict-Braíghnnas. The couple were wise and wealthy rulers, and their clan remains in power and rich in cattle to this day.
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The cultural outlook on sex work (among other things) is fairly well encapsulated here- the sex work itself is degrading, but this fits into common motifs of this cultural sphere’s folktales where the hero figure overcomes difficult and often degrading situations with wit and social skill, and ultimately rises above it. Note that as a (non-comedic) hero of this tale, she uses her sex work very intentionally and pragmatically for material gain and alongside many other measures to increase her standing. Also note that, when unmarried, she's specified as taking up practical labor roles, and ultimately acquires a husband and ends the story in the expected position as a wife.
The actions of the man who hired her are distinctly shameful. He is performing his role as a husband TERRIBLY- being unfaithful, completely mismanaging his wife’s herds and ultimately driving his clan out of power all in pursuit of petty lust. He is in part an exaggerated, cartoonish embodiment of the cultural perception of the clients of sex workers- desperate, foolishly lustful, and an overall failure as a man. Most hearing this story would find his role highly comedic, a powerful but stupid foe for the clever and pragmatic hero to overcome.
(Very minor side note: the detail of him being enthralled by her breasts is also meant to be comedic- breasts are not sexualized in this culture (women's hips/thighs/buttocks are what is typically seen as sexually attractive), and many women will be out topless on hot days without note being made of it (toplessness is culturally acceptable, exposing genitalia/buttocks is not). The notion of a man being out of his mind horny over the sight of a bare tit would register to listeners as excessively lustful in a humorous capacity)
While the focus of the story is ultimately more on the contrast of thrifty and foolish behaviors, it also functions as a discouragement of hiring sex workers, casting the loss of assets in trade for sex as a similarly foolish venture, degrading to the worker and humiliating to the client.
#VERY long post. Enjoy#The only main characters who have hired sex workers are Janeys and Brakul#Janeys exclusively goes for 'appropriate' targets (mostly being women or young beardless men). Which he is not actually attracted to.#And is a fucking terrible rude as shit client with his only redeeming quality being that he pays VERY well (largely with the#implication of keeping quiet about whatever he inevitably did to embarrass himself)#Brakul only does it occasionally and on the downlow and goes for people he actually IS attracted to (men closer to his age- which#generally will be workers who normally serve female clients). He is VERY ashamed that he does it to begin with but is at least#polite and businesslike about it. He fucks off the second its over. Sometimes he's like 'actually never mind' and pays and leaves#midway through. Literally just pulls out and sets down some money and dips. They'll never see him again.#Palo has never hired a sex worker but has kind of a unique relationship with the community. Growing up in a mercantile family#in a district with a lot of brothels- sex workers were kind of just part of the community. He still ascribes to most cultural beliefs#surrounding sex work and isn't like Enlightened about it but is much more inclined to treat sex workers like peers and with a degree#of respect normally afforded to any stranger.#One of the akoshos in his community (that he spent his childhood fascinated with) was a priestess to the Mother of Whores and a#genuinely kind (though VERY stern) old woman. Had a very cold hard gaze and rugged look and he was kind of scared of her#but one time when he was 12 he got bitten by a street dog and she gave him a blessing then and there so he wouldn't have to walk#all the way to a temple. Their blessings are not considered legit under standard practice (given they are not considered a legitimate#priesthood) but he felt a lot better afterwords.
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I'm taking him to touch the waters of the Ryuuchi Cave.
not me watermarking my unfinished work 🫣
anko and sasuke from the upcoming chapter of my kakanko fic histrionis, in which anko has some Problems, but so does sasuke. snakes, she figures, are as much the cause as they are the solution. (also, kakashi lends her his shirt for Reasons)
#kakanko#mitarashi anko#uchiha sasuke#naruto#uhhh yeah it turns out my brain has space for reading writing AND painting but like#i havent been able to finish any of the paintings I've started. like ill be having a total blast cruising through one and learning SO MUCH#and then out of nowhere i hit an invisible wall and legitimately Cannot Figure Out the best way to move forward#so sasukes coat is unfinished. ankos legs are unfinished. the cave background is hella rough. and theres a zillion details i only noticed#after i was in bed and thinking back on it. lmao#but because of Who I Am as a person...if i dont post something when im excited about posting it...then it will sit in my folders for years#*looks nervously at Mend and Defend and the rest of the Shine Onto Me series* 🥲😭#my art
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Everytime people discuss who should be in the leadership group and start writing fanfiction about how Mitch doesn't deserve anything and doesn't do anything for the leafs, actually, I just think about this article and wonder how we got here. I think he could be captain- I actually think he could be a great one. But I guess we'll never know https://www.nytimes.com/athletic/2469915/2021/03/25/mitch-marner-ohl-season/
reading that just made me so fucking emotional. i honestly think it would translate into great captaincy in the nhl too... he just happens to be on a team with auston matthews, so i get WHY it's like this (still.. if there was ever a modern case for co-captains but. too late now ig) but. i hate to say it's not the right market bc it's not his fault that this market is so fucking volatile and stupid so often, lmfao. like. he says things the same as anyone and i'll firmly defend that to death. i hate when people say even lovingly 'no he shouldnt do that' or 'i wish hed stop talking to them' like no, fuck you, lol. it's the temperament in toronto that's the fucking issue and more people should be seriosuly talking abt it and calling it out in the main journalists so they can be shamed and maybe learn responsibility. it's stripping so many of our players and staff from ever letting an ounce of personality or anything personal show whatsoever. it makes it so much less fun and WAY less marketable. it's just obnoxious to me, but mitch marner is someone who has SO MUCH leadership presence too.... like in 22-23 when HE was this team's mvp and the team was coming together to try to make stuff happen for him???? it echoes auston's chase for 70 so much. there's that other great article from a couple yrs ago abt mitch and auston and their personality differences but how both are leading the team and it's just so true. they're natural born leaders but even more than that, their work ethic and accountability to themselves is insane, you can just see it. i'm so sad we live with this era of social media as leaf fans sometimes bc it's genuinely so hostile and obnoxious to try to participate in, lol. mitch can be loud and knows how to point out when stuffs wrong and wants to work to fix it and hold ppl accountable. but on the same hand, he also wants everyone to feel like THEY can talk if they need to and that they're welcome there and valued as people and that's just like. a beautiful personality trait to have. that locker room would not be half of what it is without him, idec, lmao.
#easks#like all the media trained answers today just like flksjdfknjm made me feel so grim abt toronto sports in general lol#i love them all so mcuh and i wish i could hear their ACTUAL thoughts instead of just canned shit w no real sentimentality to it but whatev#guess thats what i get for getting attached to soem guys on this team flkjsdklfs#it sucks so bad man.#also i laughed abt that bench squabble from the end of last yr at first but now i just hate the way its brought up as legitimate proof of#anything lol.. bc mitch was the only one doing the right thing in the play they were all arguing abt AND he went on to score the only#goal of the game for the leafs to try to shift momentum#stupid to act like he cant show emotion but everyone else can#or the ~chill~ guy on the team bitching someone out in fake lip reading means anything when#he lacks dimension and vision of the players hes talking to lol
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do we think true form sukuna’s two cocks are the same size or there’s clearly something very wrong with one of them
#— ai rambles#bc i think it’d be fun if they were not#like one of them is more human-like big while the other one is just a monster of its own#either way he’s just too massive#but at least he can use the human cock to bottom out in you bc the other one only goes about halfway in before you legitimately pass out
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did i tell u guys about how my family, who have been lukewarm at best and vaguely antagonistic at worst about using they/them pronouns for my nonbinary sibling, did a complete 180 upon learning that my sibling is also good with she/her...like i can't even tell you how hard it's been to get them to even just try to use they/them and then they hear she/her and a switch is flipped in their brains that goes "you are an asshole actually" and all of a sudden my mom is buying PROTECT TRANS KIDS t-shirts and my grandmother's apologizing to me when she messes up. okay i'm glad you got there eventually but if this capability was inside you all along i don't understand why you couldn't have been doing this with the they/them set. like my grandmother told me a couple years ago that she wasn't even going to make an effort because she was probably going to die soon (<-completely made up excuse; obviously any of us could die at any time, and she is old, but she's in good health and her mother lived to be 100) and therefore wouldn't be seeing my sibling often enough for it to matter??? but she/her is worth the effort where they/them was not, apparently. like again i can't complain about the outcome but i am very much complaining about how we got here. what even is this.
#also love how my stepdad said he would start using she/her on my sibling's birthday as a birthday present...#don't even know where to start with that. like oh thank you how benevolent of you to grant this favor#and these are people who see themselves as progressives#my theory is that they vaguely theoretically support trans people because Being Mean to Trans People is what Bad People do#but didn't actually categorize my sibling as trans until they heard about the she/her pronouns. they/them is just a silly fancy i guess#transphobia#pronouns#idk just like. how hard is it to try to respect the way someone wants to be referred to. it hurts no one#i'm not even complaining about the family members who had trouble because they/them is a plural pronoun#i don't really buy that because of singular they but at least they were trying. and they only told me they were struggling in private#away from my sibling. but to not even try? and then it turns out you ARE capable of changing the pronouns you use for someone#as long as they're pronouns YOU'VE decided are legitimate? that's not how this works people
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i keep saying i need to make some zhaoryu shit but i'm back on my y5 kazusaeji bullshit again they are just so. m
#ada speaks#there NEEDS to be more zhaoryu shit. but kazusaeji still holds my ass hostage so#if i am to write a comprehensive timeline of kiryu's sexuality and him coming to realizations about himself that lead to the way he's#changed in gaiden to be more. uh.#then i have got to start at 5 because its literally when he first begins to realize he's fr into men. and then gaiden & 8 he's like Out#i need his first time to be with saejima when he's at his lowest it just makes sense#theres so fucking much in 5 that feels like its really coming to a head#mayumi. why did they fucking do that. like also nakajima and his coworkers being like U Are Gay but.#mayumi. and hinata. why are you having him refuse sex with women TWICE in one game#i hc him as acespec but i also think he should get to fool around w saejima for narrative reasons#and by that i mean i think it would be absolutely devastating and tragic and also they would both legitimately be so normal about it#saejima knows he's going back to jail anyway so there's that#but god help kiryu he's absolutely trying to fill the loneliness void with People all the damn time#lowkey doing what he did with kaoru to saejima 😭#you're grieving the loss of your family? time to latch onto the woman going through the same thing just a year later#lost your emotional support daughter? allow a woman to live with you while you continuously rebuff her advances#lonely and directionless and feeling guilty for having dragged your loved ones into conflict again and again?#have sex with probably the Only guy who can understand exactly what you're going through but is consistently in a Way healthier mindset#it also makes the conversation they have on the rooftop of new serena so much more deranged if it happened before that#im normal btw thanks for asking
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Kinda curious, is it autism?
i don’t really like talking about it but yea
#i prefer to keep that sort of thing to myself as much as possible#because people try to take advantage when they find out#like it’s the reason my personality is the way it is too#it’s actually really bad but I try to hide it as much as humanly possible to make things easier on myself#there’s only like one or two people who like legitimately know me completely unfiltered and i would legitimately trust them with my life
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We are just now realizing that still being on the short list of kitten fosterers means that we're going to be having to handle weaning five 3-4 week old kittens that need to be fed every few hours while also having university four to six hours a day and honestly, that's not going to be very fun. We'd say "maybe we should have taken on less art challenges this year" but honestly we've been having a great time with the art challenges it's just the 4-6 hours of school that's been rapidly eroding our soul
#we speak#one of them is still feral enough to hiss at us and we've already been overlapping Older Kitten Socialization with our other junk#god. you don't realize how much free time you have until you lose it we guess. this is why we've been unemployed for the past 4 years#...outside of the disability we mean#god. how did we survive this the first time. every time we attend any educational institution we gain so much sympathy for kids and teens#imagine having to go through this shit for eight hours a day AND no one respects your autonomy so you can't even leave#AND a bunch of places have bullshit laws that makes it a legitimate crime for you to not be trapped in a tiny box like this#for eight hours a day#man. yknow sometimes we see kids online being dumb or uneducated or whatever and think that theyre cunts#but then we remember how much of a blatant human rights violation a lot of school is and we're like. man.#sure it would help if any of them actually looked shit up but honestly children are failed by the school system to a massive extent#and it's a miracle that we made it out of our own school experience with as much willingness to learn as we did#because it's genuinely fun to acquire new skills and knowledge and the current school system is set up in such a way#that it literally creates a pathological avoidance to the things and environments that are taught in it#like man we loved math as a kid and then school crushed that out of us with a burning passion#and now we flounder with budgeting. both because of the need to use every single piece of everything and not Waste things from upbringing#and because trying to sit down and actually legitimately budget things is irreversibly associated with math from school#which has of course contributed to our current poor money habits where if we spend money on anything it has to Last#and if it can't Last then it haunts us for the next fifteen years#children should be allowed more leeway online not only because they are still learning how existing Works#but because everyone and their dog is determined to make it impossible for them to pick what they want to do with their bodies and lives#honestly we think it contributes to this current puritanism thing. need permission to do anything. need an authority#these kids arent ever given the chance to be themselves without being told what to do. no wonder they flounder without an authority figure
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Eternal gales isat au except Bloom is the one looping and she never fucking escapes due to the curse of being 9 years old. Oh and also the middle aged woman actively sabotaging her at every step of the way ig
#rat rambles#eternal gales#for context in the main version of the au I have au aris as loop and as such in any swapped looper hypotheticals their loops would be their#au antag counterpart and just so happens bloom has by far the worst one to be stuck with#all the other au antags would play varying degrees of nice but au bloom very much Would Not.#au bloom's whole motivation in canon eg was kickstarted by their original universe being destroyed after all#and to have that happen after being stuck in timeloop hell? she would Not be ready to let the universe fuck her over without a fight#and this is only one drop in the bucket of many Many reasons that bloom would have a unquely fucked up and horrific time if she was looping#fydd wouldn't have a great time either but I do think au fydd would be nicer to him no matter how low that bar is#au fydd would be incredibly unstable and angry but he wouldn't necessarily blame fydd for that I think#seeing his literal younger self go through what had broken him as a teenager would probably get him to try to keep it together#he'd understand theyre both victims that got massively fucked over#au sier would probably get closest to loop in terms of helpfulness but probably still less helpful if that gives you any idea of how#useless these fuckers would be like even the ones who would legitimately try would just sorta suck at it I think#owl in particular would probably be Way too stuck in the playing mysterious zone to be very helpful#au fydd just wouldn't know shit nor know how to go about explaining shit#au aris would be very very distant with their advice and take a very mia appreach to things (take a clost look at your evidence esc)#au mase would be dead silent 99% of the time#and as said au bloom would be actively sabotaging everything at any chance she could get#now aris and sier are so nicies to me by having au antags that already have easy loop names#owl already altered her name in canon after all and while uni isnt here au aris can still borrow their name#thank god sier isnt the main character here if the act 6 twist was revealed with sier awf owl full name drop thatd be horrible lol#isat spoilers#justttt realized that I should add that. thats what happens when you post at 4 am ig#speaking of time to pass out
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Would you say Catra was written ooc in White Out?
Eeehn. I have complicated feelings about it?
Being weirdly specific: There's a discontinuity between Promise's "Bye, Adora. I Really Am Going To Miss You" and White Out's "You're Mine Now, Adora." Both draw on the same roots; the imbalance of their relationship, Catra's desire for control. But they don't quite ... mesh, as presented.
Catra so explicitly severs their bond in Promise (and is intentionally ambiguous on her feelings around Mind Control), that the show snapping to "OF COURSE Catra would be all in on dragging around a Brain-Wiped-Super-Weapon-Adora; it's all she ever wanted!", ends up feeling weird. It's not OOC - it's not something I can't see this character doing, in the situation presented - but it's under-contextualized. There's missing connective tissue; there needs to be a bridge saying why she's okay having Adora back NOW, in THIS context.
"I didn't want you back, but if I get to be in charge... well. Good thing you never did have much faith in me, huh."
((Also to be weirdly petty - While it's a funny line, I'm trying to imagine a scenario where "Obvious and Profound issues with physical contact" Catra would casually use "No Boundaries" Scorpia as a scratching post, and, uh. Having trouble seeing how Catra was the instigator, honestly.))
#spop#asks#catra#adora#this is kind of a non answer sorry#the characters in SPoP are legitimately and intentionally dynamic#there is no singular IC way for them to be#only depictions that are more and less consistent with each other#but yeah to the extent I think White Out is off#it's that it presents 'Catra tries to capture Adora/She-Ra' as an ongoing thread#and not one that was very firmly terminated last season
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Two of my friends and I recently went on a road trip, and since the other two were trying to stay awake in the second half on the journey, they suggested that I entertain them with a dramatic reading of My Immortal (following from my reading some iconic excerpts from The Playboy Sheikh's Virgin Stable-Girl via Smart Bitches, Trashy Books). We had a blast re-discovering the deep lore of Enoby, Willow/Raven, Dumblydore, Vampire, Snap and Loopin, and the rest, along with the unexpected brief crossover with Back to the Future that I'd completely forgotten in the many years since last time I read it.
Anyway, one of these friends is also a big D&D and BG3 fan, and we got to talking about Enoby in D&D terms and then had the brainwave of using the many mods we've found and downloaded together to recreate her as closely as possible. Behold our genius:
#tragically i don't have one that adds fishnets but we did our best <3#enoby does say she has long black hair so we considered some longer hair but it quickly turns out to only be mid-back length#so i prioritized figuring out a way to add both purple streaks and red to black hair#(willow/raven has legitimately long black hair though! i checked for the dream guardian's design haha)#and we earnestly discussed which particular icy blue eye colors were the MOST limpid like tears#and i found some thigh high combat boots in lieu of the fishnets#my friend and i share a conviction that enoby is. in fact. a poser#a wannabe. perhaps even in her deepest soul ... a prep#so that guided our character creation process#we considered bard since she's involved in two bands but felt her incredible singing might just be hubris#and if anyone would leap at the chance to swear a pact with a literal devil it is enoby dementia dark'ness raven way#game: baldur's gate 3#text: my immortal#ch: ebony dark'ness dementia raven way#isabel's pictures#isabel's games#isabel talks#person: jh#person: as#cheerful gremlin blogging
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