#legitimately good points and the only time i’ve ever seen someone point out the linguistic shift

[mumblesplash]

heartbreaking: this viral post is saying things you completely agree with in the most irritating way possible

[kingofthewilderwest]

Hey just so you know your art is really shitty. I am talking about the one you did about book hiccup.

Oh you sweet, sweet summer chiiiiild!!!

I was drawing “shit” like this when I was sixteen - ten years ago! Ten years ago, and I could draw like this!

So why would I care what someone thinks of a small, five minute, no-erase doodle of mine? ^.^ 

Honestly, I’m in the middle of an artistic euphoria phase right now. Like, I’m legit having so much fun with visual arts - more than I have for years - and I’m delighted. Thank you so much for giving me the chance to talk about this latest exciting experience in my life! Maybe this’ll inspire some others as well? Art has been a highlight of the last few months, and even getting going on the topic now, chatting with you, is getting me happy and inspired and ready to tear out the next sheet of paper for a new bout of creativity. I’m trying my best not to start drawing NOW because of the topic you’ve brought up!

I’m working on proportions and muscle groups and more dynamic poses and figuring out digital art and testing new traditional art mediums and it’s just been a BLAST of creativity and exploration. I’m trying to figure out new styles for myself, branching WAY beyond my childhood focus of photorealism, into everything down to anime-style personalities. I’ve even checked out 3D modeling, dudes! I’m planning on exploring with cityscapes and character design and shape and color and... guys... guys... it’s literally such an exciting time for me right now. 

Art is AMAZING fun!!! What a blessing it is to create something wholly new, with the stamp of our personality, out of complete nothingness? I turned the nothingness of a piece of paper into my personality and a work of creativity. DUDE THAT IS SO AWESOME!!! Humans are so amazing in our ability to endlessly create. I think creating is one of the greatest powers and blessings our species has to offer.

Being a visual artist by hobby isn’t about improving. It isn’t even about being good. It’s about having fun. My wonderful dragon-loving friends, don’t for a second think that your artwork needs to be to some sort of quality, because it doesn’t. It doesn’t matter. If you want to improve, that’s awesome, and I’m rooting for you to have some exciting experiences of self-discovery and growth. That can be an exciting time, to go through growth, and it’s well-worth your commendable, diligent efforts. But it’s also 100% fair if you go into a hobby without desiring to improve. You don’t need to improve - you’re not in some competition where your rent’s pay hinges on drawing - you just need to enjoy yourself. There is nothing shameful about “shitty” art - it’s in fact one of the coolest things you can do, because it engages your mind and your creativity and your own unique stamp of human beauty that no other soul can give. And if you share it, you’re sharing a part of yourself, and we get to see the beautiful treasure you and your mind are!

Some of my favorite things I’ve ever seen are stick people. DRAW your stick people! Do it all!!!

I’m so thankful for everyone who shares their art on tumblr in the fandom community. Not just the people who do polished digital work, but everyone. People who are starting to figure out what a tablet is. People who haven’t touched a colored pencil in ten years. People who draw five minute scratches. People who spend thirty-seven hours on a painting. You contribute to the world of fandom, the beautiful world of fandom. Together we celebrate what it is we mutually love about our fandoms, and make this a community in which creativity and celebration and positivity is resplendent. It’s because of people like you - ALL of you - that you build this incredible environment.

I’m in the middle of a phase where I think I’m going to be making rapid advances in my artwork soon. Maybe if there’s something really cool I’ll share it with ya’ll! There’s a 50% chance I might be getting a new art tablet soon, which will unfetter all the struggles I’ve had with digital art preventing me from improving there. And there’s so many ideas I have! Guys, there’s so many ideas! So much art to put down and explore and hgghghghhhh! I’m excited.

Of course this is all on top of my other hobbies. I love being a jack of all trades and master of none. Every day’s something new to explore. I’m a conlanger and I make my own languages. I’m a creative writer and I’m planning on charging deep into a single original novel that I hope I can publish. I’m a chronic worldbuilder who loves thinking about everything from the geographic history of the world to the culture’s technology to what the cities look like to the individual culture’s elements - be it gestures, taboo language, courting rituals, what have you! I’m a music composer and I even got a Bachelor’s of Music in Composition; I’ve learned how to play over a dozen instruments; I’m itching to make covers and suites of material I love. I used to make gifs and I still miss it - maybe I’ll get back into the swing of it sometime? I made one AMV and maybe I’ll make another - I’ve always loved video editing (I did Lego stop motion stuff in the junior high, after all). And of course I want to keep writing fandom meta for all the stories that have touched my heart, be it Fullmetal Alchemist or How to Train Your Dragon or Voltron: Legendary Defender or Mass Effect or anything else. I’m hoping that I’ll get some good bursts of activity on cosplay, too! I need to work on my sewing - 2019 shall be the perfect year for it, don’t you think?

Life’s so exciting and rich and beautiful. There’s so much creativity to be had. So much to do. So much to explore.

And who gives a flipping rat’s fart if I’m not The Best(TM) of the universe? XD That’s not the true reason to create ANYTHING!

I’ve got a fuckton of weaknesses in my artistic pursuits and that doesn’t make me an ounce less awesome. Having weaknesses makes my artistic life BETTER. I honestly believe it; they make me happy. I’m excited that I have weaknesses in my visual arts abilities because it means I’m going through this period of growth. Where would be my fun if I were perfect already? I’m having a blast not because my art is perfect, but because it’s IMPERFECT. I both like what I can do already and I know ALL the areas where it needs improving - allowing me new areas to dive further and reach new goals. It’s giving me life goals, trajectory, and celebrations every time I draw something new and better than what I made last month. 

A childish, petty, and honestly rather uncreative insult isn’t going to make me blink. I know how amazing I am. I’m a powerhouse, powerfully creative, Renaissance man level talented bonfire who can do everything from advanced level linguistic scientific study to composing contemporary classical art music. I know what my strengths are and what my weaknesses are. I’ve got great weaknesses, and that’s totally chill!

I’m sorry, friend, but the only thing your message does is show how much of a naive child you are. You ignorantly think that a laughably uninteresting, child-level insult is going to affect an adult who is confident and grown in themselves. You don’t know your audience. Even if you were right that my art is shit - which it’s not - it doesn’t matter to me. My identity is more than one cute doodle with Hiccup and Toothless. It’s a shame because I’m sure you have so much positive beauty you could contribute to this world. Why waste your time with this, when it literally could not be more of a waste of your time?

What positive creativity have you done?

I encourage us all to contribute to the beauty of our community. Let’s take this moment to be an inspiration point. Let’s create together. Let’s give people reasons to smile. Let’s share posts we love and talk about why we love them. Let’s draw and write and sing and dance our way through what we love. Let’s give positive feedback on the fanfiction people wrote for us for free. Let’s send compliments to one another - that’s a legitimate form of creation and it’s one of the best. Let’s let our personalities sparkle. Kindness is so awesome. You all are so awesome.

I’m so thankful to live in a community like this, where every day I’m bombarded with incredible magic - the magic you all have created.

As for my Hiccup drawing, the HTTYD book community has a cool event going on celebrating the Twelve Days of Doomsday. I encourage you all to participate and enjoy Cressida Cowell’s works with me!!!

Who knows? Maybe I’ll have time for a few more Hiccup doodles in the next dozen days!

[digigal-transbian]

Better to?

Is it better to be alive and constantly miserable? Or dead and know peace?

If I fail a class this semester, there is an extremely high likelihood that i will be pulled out of college for financial reasons. If that happens I've been told I will have no choices, my life will be ultimately destroyed. The only job I'd be able to get is a minimum wage, soul crushing mindless existence. I'd never be able to afford a second chance at college. I'd never be able to survive on minimum wage, I'd have to get two jobs and even then I'd barely make ends meet.

And that's if I was able to get a second job. I'd never know love because I'd be too busy trying just to survive and after that too tired to function. 2 full time jobs is not exactly free to have feelings like love. And with who I am, finding someone would be a damn miracle and god has already proven he shall have no mercy on me.

And the gods know I'd never have a lucky break with writing or art, if I even had the time or energy to put into either of them.

Every check just going to not being dead for another week, stuck in a job or if I'm lucky, 2, that I hate, barely making ends meet, all because when I was 19 I got cocky and ended up failing Precal or was forgetful and failed English because if it.

To be able to say, "I was young, dumb, sure of myself, and because of it I've amounted to nothing, never known love, was never able to have a family, and lived a fate comparable to hell on earth."

I've been religiously told this for the last 6 months by my parents. And 6 months is lowballing it.

My biggest fear is dying alone. My second biggest fear to be forgotten. If I fail both are going to happen. I'm going to die alone in a house that is barely holding together without a soul to remember me.

I'll be forgotten within a week of my death, if not, a month at most. Nothing I've ever done will have mattered, ultimately I was just a waste of the universes time, even if I did make a couple peoples days just a little bit brighter.

Is it better to live and be miserable with no hope, or to die and be done with it?

At this point it's basically pass or die. A 70 on my math final to pass and have to retake because of how it is with my major, an 85 on it to never take that class again, and with English I've done what I can and at this point all I can do is hope.

And don't any of you dare call me selfish for this. To call suicidal people selfish is selfish itself. You're only concerned about the impact that persons death would have on you or their family, worry about the person who wants to kill themselves because they are in pain or see no other option.

And never call me selfish. I've made every choice for somebody else. Choice in college was because if years of "if you go to clemson you'll make your grandfather proud." And he's the actual kindest person I've ever met of course I dont want to let him down, I couldn't get there on my highschool GPA or ACTs so I found some backass method to get there. CSU has an applied math program that does 4 years there, 2 years at Clemson and you get two degrees for the 6 year period.

My father was all for that for the reason of being able to rub it in my aunts and uncles faces.

This is the same man that punched a brick wall hard enough to let out a blood curdling scream, make the house shake from the punch, and instill the fear of death in a child because a 12 year old didnt do his English homework. Why that 12 year old didnt do their homework? Just didnt want to, so over time did less and less of it.

Which is a legitimately normal thing by the way, 6th graders dont always want to do their homework and of course they are going to lie about it, dont act like his responce was in any way justifiable.

The man to this day still threatens to pin me to a wall and beat the shit out of me if I lie to him again, which wouldnt be as much of an issue if he didn't terrify me to the point of never telling him anything ever again out of fear for my life.

My choice of major was because of him. I wanted to be a doctor for a while but then my mom spent a collective 5 years dying in the hospital, so that dream died. No fault to her she couldn't control it. I then wanted to be a psychiatrist, therapist, that deal. Made the mistake of mentioning it around dad and got told promptly "it's not a real job." 10 year old me gave up on that real quick.

Then it went lawyer for a while because I figured a good paying job will be acceptable, hes always on about money anyways. After months upon like a year or something of "oh it's a lot of school and it's really hard and are you sure about it?" That dream too, was killed.

So the next thing I said was computers. Nothing more, nothing less, and it was finally acceptable. It was the most predicatable answer out of me and the first one to really be approved of. So for years i was content not having my dreams put down, then came college and I put my dreams down for computer engineering, on the track to clemson.

I then changed my major to computer science and over time put some thought into my actual interests.

Astronomy, the language of the stars. Physics, the language of the universe. Linguistics, the study of language. Writing, where you can be a god of your own little world. Geology, because rocks are just cool yo. Intetior Design, every time dad drags me to work with him I sit around and mentally start designing each room. And at the bottom of the list, Computer Science.

And the final mistake made in this whole college thing, I applied to only 1 college and to 0 scholarships. The scholarships I got are state ones, and I was told to keep a 3.0 GPA, which if you've ever seen one of my report cards you know how bad of an idea relying on that is. You have to have no idea what any of my report cards have ever looked like to think for a minute that trusting I will keep a B average for 6 years with no problems at all is even slightly a good idea.

So when my grades came in first semester, the night of December 13 I was legitimately shaking in fear for my life. December 23 when my parents found my grades out they gave me a 2~3 hour scream and then since then all my tech, aside from my phone and laptop, has been sitting in a tote box in my closet.

April they see my grades again and since then I havent been allowed to even have my door closed, and was strongly told that if I'm caught reading anything that isnt for school they'd burn it.

I could have probably avoided half of this if I was just a little more selfish, but I made every choice for someone else. If I was just a little more selfish I would be in a college half the price of CSU in a major that wouldnt be my last choice. Were I just a little more self centered, I wouldn't fear my father killing me over my grades.

Maybe I'm so destructively selfless because every moment that was supposed to have been about me quickly became about someone else. High school graduation after the fact during the pictures I got pushed to the side so my cousins could have a picture of just them, when there literally were three other walls and outside that they could have done that. Have you ever taken a picture outside at night? It's got a beautiful magic about it, and the lights were on dont even try to say "oh it's too dark", also cameras tend to have a flash so that's no excuse to push ME out of the way on MY graduation day. Kinda a big deal to me because when you look at my extended family I am among the few that have graduated high school, like half of them haven't even done that.

My graduation party the next day, I was given my gifts and then ignored most of the rest of the time. I was there for about 6~7 hours, and relevant for about 15 minutes. My college acceptance letter was opened and read by my parents before I even woke up. In fact, they woke me up by yelling at me from the kitchen to get in there. I walk in there, they're at the table smiling like idiots that just won the Nobel prize, and they hand me an open letter and tell me to read.

And my birthdays result in me being relevant for ten minutes of the hour at the pizza hut, and most of that is being asked about school and grades. The rest of the time is my parents and grandparents bitching about my drug addict unfit parent cousins. Like, my birthday is supposed to be about me, not them. And I am more than just school and grades, you would not believe how long it took me to realize that.

I have one bit of advice for anyone that might need it. Live your life for yourself for your reasons and never let somebody else live through you.