#there is factual mistakes
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*the only explanation for it, 12 April 2024
(Mink music?? Collab with DJ Snake and Liam Payne?? His birth name? 2 fan question and 1 was about Grease etc)
#there is factual mistakes#they overhyped the article and it doesnt feel like we got anything that supports it#the writing is clunky#the fan questions is a joke#who really was giving him these answers#did he really interview Louis or via an email ?#even the way they inserted the kid was odd#and 1975??#markmeets#Louis press#12 April 2024#Louis Tomlinson#mine
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Snape makes me so fucking mad holy fuck, I’m incapable of thinking of him positively. I don’t even like Draco and I think of him 10x more positively than I think of Snape.
What kind of person gets bullied as a child and then grows up and bullies the child of his bully like that makes him way worse than James (btw I love James and I fully believe he matured and grew up and is a good person who deserved more than for Snape to tell a literal Nazi terrorist to kill him and his infant son but to leave his wife alive). Snape had way more power over the kids he taught than James did over him and what did he do with it?
He made fun of their appearance and scared them to the point that he was Neville’s boggart (which when you think about it is so awful because 1, Neville’s parents got tortured into insanity and I’m pretty sure he was there, and his boggart probably should have been Bellatrix or his uncle even, and 2, he did it because Neville was the other possible prophecy child and Snape was upset that Voldie didn’t pick him to kill when HE GAVE HIM THE PROPHECY IN THE FIRST PLACE).
He said shitty things about Harry’s dead parents and orphan-hood, was glaring at Harry literally right off the bat so don’t say it was because he got into trouble a lot, asked him questions he couldn’t possibly know, told Draco to summon a serpent during duelling club??? How irresponsible is that???
Literally lied to the minister just to get Sirius killed, which atp is ridiculous (I think Sirius was dumb as fuck, careless, possibly malicious, to tell snape where to go to find moony, but snape literally already suspected that Remus was a werewolf so idk what the fuck he thought was gonna happen if he found him during the full moon, and calling it a murder attempt is a stretch), like grow up please this man was in Azkaban for 12 years which is a hugely disproportionate punishment for anything he did do to you, and the reason he was there in the first place was literally fraudulent, which he knew and he lied anyway.
And honestly the Legilimancy lessons were fucking joke, who looks through an abused kids memories and makes fun of both the abuse and the few good memories he has?? And then he’s surprised that Harry tried to equal the playing field between them?? Snape had way more power than Harry did, and obviously it wasn’t the best thing to do to a person but yk what I’m not going to judge Harry’s actions, Snape was abusive and the victim isn’t to blame for their reactions to their abuser.
And he threw Harry across the room for seeing his memories?? Abuse. To be honest even seeing the memory about James being a bully felt like JKR trying to make shit up as fast as possible to make Snape seem more redeemable, which apparently worked for some people who think abusing kids is okay as long as you have a tragic backstory and an abusive parent. And it actually makes me really mad that he thought Harry was treated like a prince so decided to treat him like shit so he wouldn’t get any ideas about having self esteem or confidence, then found out that he was abused and then just did nothing and tbh treated him worse. And the lessons themselves were actually painful to Harry?? They definitely made his mind more vulnerable, he had more nightmares.
And let’s not forget that he joined a Nazi group that wanted to exterminate people like his best friend, called his best friend a slur, viewed Lily as an exception to the other muggleborns, and invented sectumsempura for his enemies IN SCHOOL which means the Maurauders.
And it makes me sick that he looked in a room with a crying baby whose parents just got murdered, his mom right in front of him, and a dead woman who was killed by his Nazi leader like directly because of his actions, and then he ignored the baby and went to hug the woman’s dead body. Like if I was Lily, I wouldn’t want him near either my body or my child, but if he was my only option, then he better be fucking taking care of my living son. Like she rejected him his weird obsession for her freaks me tf out.
And I get that without Snape asking for Lily to be spared, Voldemort wouldn’t have asked Lily to stand aside and the blood protection wouldn’t have been activated, but literally once good thing happening because of a tragedy he caused doesn’t make him a good person.
Anyway. Think I got it out of my system for now. Fuck Snape. :)
Edit: Just to be clear, I actually find his character really compelling, even though I dislike him and his actions. And of course I’m not saying no one can like Snape.
#anti snape apologists#anti snape#fuck snape fr#snape bashing#actually no it’s not because these are factual things that he’s done and they’re not exaggerated and he’s just a shitty person#not a good person who made mistakes
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#made a really weird translation mistake in max's post-race video that is the opposite of what he said#front right → front left#maybe it was him gesturing with his *for me visually left* arm when he was talking about it idk#and it's not significant in that it changes the meaning of what's said overall but wtf self? that's gonna haunt me for me a while#i always try to be as factually correct as possible with the translations so i've been thinking about this since last night thanks 😭
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It might be nothing and just me over-interpreting stuff cause I love to but I've started a new RDR2 save, and I noticed something about Abigail during the very first scene. Reverend's first line is "Abigail says he's [Davey] dying." and when Davey do die, he tell her (but with the way he's positioned he could be saying that to everyoke else) that there's nothing she could have done. We even see Abigail reaching for Davey, and leaning forward either to listen to his pulse or see if he's breathing, and she's the one to tell everyone that he's dead.
And it make me wonder why she seems to be implied to have a caretaker (as in nurse/doctor) role for some reason in this scenes as IIRC it's never brought up again, and in latter situations where a characters get hurt (like Arthur’s kidnapping) she doesn't do anything specific. [correct me if I'm wrong, but I can't recall any scenes except the one where she sits at John's bedside, but I assumed it was more cause he's her kind-of boyfriend]
I wonder if she was either put on caretaking duty during this specific scene (which would imply a certain knowledge), if she's quite knowledgeable in health/injury matter but it was never brought up again, or if that's characterisation that would have mattered more but it was cut later into the game development.
#fay talks#red dead redemption#rdr#rdr2#abigail roberts#abigail marston#my brainrot tell me that originally davey wasnt the one whos death was focused here but isaac#and instead of abigail it would be eliza who say it#but i know its very unlikely but as i said eliza is filling my thoughts#everytime i think about posting something like that (like the Eliza post) I feel like Im going to be hunted for sport if i make a mistake#like im shaking looking for proof and if im sure im being fully factual. blame that on my autism. it make me worry that i sound stupid#i have many posts like this planned like the fact i see people rarely bringing up arthur being an asshole (except dudebro idolizing him)#and how it suck cause i wish we talked more about that and the fact arthur antagonizing the gang seems canon from characters voicelines
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pokemno fans so weird u discuss something that would objectively improve the game and they make up excuses like um nooooo nono this is fine actually i like it this way and it would be worse if they went with ur idea i love your games gamefrick i will alwqys buy keep doing what u doing pls let kiss ur boots
#IF U THINK VOICE ACTING WULD MAKE THE GAMES WORSE U R JUST FACTUALLY INCORRECT#THE TUTORIAL SECTIONS OF TGESE GAMES R JUST READ AND PRESS A BUTTON SIMULATOR#never post ur opinion on r/pokemon worst mistake of my life#pkmn
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my mom doesn’t think im autistic and then i write shit like, “yeah i look for patterns in my life but for some reason socializing and people never fit? why cant i apply other knowledge to being a person with other people”
#and ik its not social anxiety bc this is *systematic*#im socially anxious because i genuinely do not know if what i say and do will be well received#idk How i ignored the judgement when i was a kid or remember really if there was any#i mean. like i know of some… and those things have been pretty much edited out of my personality#im slowly getting some of that back i think#unless this is a totally average thought and experience?#like. oh i realized that actually making small mistakes when playing music is not the end of the world#so then why does it feel a hell of a lot like social setting vibes can change at the drop of a pin#maybe it is just anxiety! maybe i am truly just scared of judgement#im definitely a perfectionist so it would make some amount of sense#but then like theres still the real true factual experiences ive had when i *knew* being myself would have been completely rejected#in spaces that are not predominantly queer/nuerodivergant#so i dont know if ive just grown accustom to like. infodumping and stimming as being super normal and almost expected#and that the ‘real world’ isnt like that#in which case i suppose it would be a learned thing#so who tf am i then#brb gonna have an existential crisis real quick#rambles#winter stfu
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A CORRECTION MUST BE MADE
@cursemewithyourkiss has kindly pointed out that the image shown in this past post:
is not in fact of Sir John Martin-Harvey playing Carton but in fact...
...of Sir John Martin-Harvey playing Claude Joseph Rouget de Lisle, a.k.a. the French army officer during the French Revolutionary Wars who wrote the song that would become known as La Marseillaise - you know, the French National Anthem😭
like. oh my god.
so anyway: thank you so much to @cursemewithyourkiss for this correction, and may we all grieve the undeniable coolness that might have been😔...
...and. you know what just happened? for those of us who were fooled, we. we mistook a French man for Carton...
#hi im not sydney cartоn did you know that you have wrongs#heads up#by the way: have removed tags from the old post and made it not show up in public tags anymore...the sadness of it all#genuinely the grandest of ironies oh my god#like of all the people for that NOT to be Carton. “guy that wrote La Marsellaise” is more or less the funniest option#very glad I made that post casually#and DIDN'T include that pic in a more formal post showcasing multiple (presumed) promo pics like I'd said I'd originally wanted to do#also not posting all the additional research I just did but I've basically managed to confirm that Rouget de Lisle is the role he's playing#and it isn't just that he was IN the play of the same name playing someone else#which would have been decidedly less funny#but seriously if/when anyone ever notices me make a mistake like this again *please* point it out to me!#being accurate and factual is the name of the game here - else what Is the point
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Vent
Tw: sh
#:(#i wanna cut to release tension but fuck i hate this part of me but#it doesnt feel as good when i know nobodys gonna notice......#i just want my dad to comfort me .........#i want my sister to comfort me too#fuck i need comfort but im surrounded by factual brained people and im so fucking emotionally brained#im so outnumbered and alone#i could talk to my friends but theyre long distance its not the same#everytime i try to think of what i need or what would help me to be a better person i just blank....#i dont think im made for this world im a broken mistake#i have no hope of beong more than i am now...a bed rotter#i know people who lobe me are reading this and im sorry#i want to be happy for you and live on for you and be better for you#but at this point it just feels like im letting down everyone in my life#i dream of leaving a book for my family and partner and friends before walking deep into the woods alone with just my bag and Elly#.....either to die or let nature take me#i never will do anything but suffer internally cus im hyper aware of my effect on people#i just.....wish i could love living#it just feels like im only living cus i have to...i just have no desire to breathe but im doing the labor for my loved ones#.....i need someone to fix my life. please.
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Longer I’ve been alive the more I’ve started to realize the singsong style of guerrilla manuals (furtively trying to spread a means of resistance) in a kind of affected prose is not thought out nor intentional, but more of a lack of understanding on how to effectively convey information. Same for anything with a strong stylistic bent but meant to be informative or viral.
#not complete thoughts but aint it interesting#guess there’s a mode of art to the idea of subversive deed that is only aesthetics deep but consistent#its like- you can tell when someone is comfortable with an instrument when they play? surprising amount of people arent with words#its also a mistake to think literal revolution and politics are different subjects#that is certainly not an error the writers make but thinking of tumblr here#also tangentially: emotional impact is important but its just extremely- people dont think of it right its not emotional VS factual
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Gotta be honest lads I get Ben Shapiro and Milo Yiannopoulos mixed up all the time
#my only solace is that they would both hate that probably#no because i know factually that they are different people and i do know which is which#shapiro can’t get his wife wet and milo hates himself so much he’s doing his best to take it out on the entire gay community#but every so often i see ben shapiro’s name and just mistake him for milo?#don’t know what that’s about#personal
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Alligator Body Language and You, or: How To Know When An Alligator On Social Media is Being Stressed for Views
Alligators are wild animals. Despite the idiotic claims of animal abusers like Jay Brewer, they cannot be domesticated, which means they are always going to react on the same natural instincts they've had for millions of years. Habituated, yes. Tamed, yes. Trained, definitely. Crocodilians can form bonds with people- they're social and quite intelligent. They can solve problems, use tools, and they're actually quite playful. Alligators are also really good at communicating how they're feeling, but to somebody who doesn't spend much time around them, their body language can be a bit mystifying. And it doesn't help when social media influencers are saying shit like this:
That is not what a happy gator looks like.
That's a terrified, furious gator who isn't attacking because the ogre handling her has her in a chokehold. She's doing everything she can to express her displeasure, and he's lying about it because he knows his audience doesn't even know how to think critically about what he's doing. He knows that because his audience doesn't know anything about these animals, he can get away with it. This I think is why I hate him so much- he deliberately miseducates his audience. He knows what he's doing is factually inaccurate, he just doesn't care because attention means more to him than anything else in the world.
Let's change that! Here are two really important lessons for understanding alligator body language on social media.
Lesson 1: Alligators Don't Smile (in fact, most animals don't)
So what's going on in this video? Jay Brewer is aggressively choking his white alligator Coconut while scrubbing algae off of her with a toothbrush. And make no mistake, he is digging into the creature's throat while she is visibly distressed. He claims she's happy- but she's not. He is willfully misrepresenting what this animal is feeling. That's a problem, because people... well, we actually kind of suck at reading other species' body language. The reason for this is that we tend to overlay our own responses on their physical cues, and that's a problem. For example, let's look at an animal with a really similar face to ours, the chimpanzee. Check out Ama's toothy grin!
Wait, no. That's not a happy smile. That's a threat display. When a chimpanzee "smiles," it's either terrified and doing a fear grimace, or it's showing you its teeth because it intends on using them in your face.
How about a dog? Look at my smiling, happy puppy!
Oh wait no, this is a picture of Ryder when he was super overwhelmed by noise and people during a holiday party. He'd hopped up in my sister's lap to get away from stuff that was happening on the floor and was panting quite heavily. See the tension in the corners of his mouth and his eyes? A lot of the time when a dog "smiles," the smile isn't happy. It's stress! Why Animals Do The Thing has a nice writeup about that, but the point is, our body language is not the same as other species. And for reptiles, body language is wildly different.
For instance, look at these two alligators. Pretty cute, right? Look at 'em, they're posing for a Christmas card or something! How do you think they're feeling?
Well, I'll tell you how the normal one is feeling. He's annoyed! Why is he annoyed? Because the albino just rolled up, pushed another gator off the platform, and is trying to push this guy, too. I know this because I actually saw it happen. It was pretty funny, not gonna lie. He's not gaping all the way, but he was hissing- you can actually see him getting annoyed in the sequence I took right before this shot. Look at him in this first shot here- he's just relaxing, and you can see he isn't gaping even a little bit.
By the end, he's expressing displeasure, but not enough to actually do anything about it. He's annoyed, but he's comfy and that's where one of the best basking areas is, so he'll put up with it.
Reptiles open their mouths wide for a lot of reasons, but never because they are actively enjoying a sensation. Unless they're eating. No reptile smiles- they can't. They don't even have moveable lips. If a reptile is gaping, it's doing so because:
It is doing a threat display.
It is making certain vocalizations, all of which are threats. Alligators are one of the rare reptiles that do regularly vocalize, but most of their calls aren't made with a wide open mouth.
It is about to bite something delicious or somebody stupid. Check out this video- virtually all of the gaping here is anticipatory because these trained gators know darn well that the bowl is full of delicious snacks. (I have some issues with Florida's Wildest, but the man knows how to train a gator AND he is honest about explaining what they're doing and why, and all of his animals are healthy and well-cared for, and he doesn't put the public or his staff at risk- just himself.)
youtube
It's too hot and it has opened its mouth to vent some of that heat and thermoregulate. This is the main reason why alligators will often have their mouths part of the way open, but sometimes they'll open all the way for thermoregulation. This is what a thermoregulatory gape looks like- usually it's not all the way open, kinda more like < rather than V, but you can't say that 100% of the time. Additionally, a thermoregulatory gape... typically happens when it's hot out. If they're inside, maybe they've been under their basking light for too long. Heat's the dominant factor, is what I'm getting at.
There is another reason that a captive crocodilian might be gaping, and that's because it's doing so on command. Some places have their gators trained to gape on cue, like St. Augustine Alligator Farm and other good zoos. They have the animals do this in presentations that are genuinely educational. They ask the animals to open their mouths so that they can show off their teeth and demonstrate how their tongues seal off the back of their mouth. They'll also do it as part of routine healthcare, because looking at their teeth is important.
In this case, the animals aren't gaping because they're stressed, they're gaping because they know they're gonna get a piece of chicken or fish if they do it. And what's more, they're doing it on cue. They have a specific command or signal that tells them to open wide. It's not an instinctive response to a situation. It's trained. If the animal provides the behavior after a cue, the situation is much less likely to be negatively impactful.
It's also important to remember that there's a difference between a partially open mouth and a gape! As discussed above, alligators will often have their mouths a little bit open just to maintain temperature homeostasis. It helps them stay comfy, temperature-wise. These guys are all doing thermoregulatory open-mouthed behavior- that slight open and relaxed body posture is a dead giveaway. (That and it's the hottest spot in the enclosure.)
Lesson 2: A Happy Gator Is A Chill Gator
So if alligators don't smile or have facial expressions other than the :V that typically signifies distress, how else can you tell how they're feeling? One way is stillness. See, alligators subscribe to the philosophy of if it sucks... hit da bricks.
Basically, if they hate it, they'll leave. Unless, y'know, somebody has their meaty claws digging into their throat or is otherwise restraining them. (Restraint isn't always bad, btw. Sometimes the animal is going through a medical thing or needs to be restrained for their safety- which a responsible educator will explain.)
Let's look at a very similar scenario, in which a captive alligator is getting his back scrubbed.
As you can see, it's quite different. First, he's not being restrained at all. Second, look at how relaxed he is! He's just chilling there vibing! He could simply get up and leave if he wanted to, because he's not being held. Towards the end of the video, as he lifts his head, you can see that his respiratory rate is very even as his throat flutters a bit. I'm not sure what this facility is, so I can't comment on care/general ethics, but like. In this specific case, this is an alligator enjoying being scrubbed! And you can tell because he's not doing anything. A happy gator is content to be doing what they're doing.
Why Should I Listen To You?
Now, you should ask yourself, why should you listen to me? Why should you trust me, who does not own an alligator, versus Jay Brewer, who owns several?
Well, first off, there's no profit for me in telling you that what you're seeing on social media is in fact not what you're being told you're seeing. I'm not getting paid to do this. That's the thing with people who make social media content. The big names aren't doing it just for fun. They're doing it for money. Whether that's profit through partnerships or sponsorships, or getting more people to visit their facilities, or ad revenue, you can't ignore the factor of money. And this is NOT a bad thing, because it allows educators to do what they're passionate about! People deserve to be paid for the work that they do!
But the problem starts when you chase the algorithm instead of actually educating. A "smiling" alligator gets the views, and if people don't know enough to know better, it keeps getting the views. People love unconventional animal stories and they want those animals to be happy- but the inability to even know where to start with critically evaluating these posts really hinders the ability to spread real information. Like, this post will probably get a couple hundred notes, but that video of Coconut being scrubbed had almost 400,000 likes when I took that screenshot. Think about how many eyeballs that's reached by now. What I'm saying here is that it's just... really important to think critically about who you're getting your information from. What do dissenters say in the comments? What do other professionals say? You won't find a single herpetologist that has anything good to say about Prehistoric Pets, I can tell you that right now.
Another reason you can trust me is that my sources are not "just trust me bro," or "years of experience pretending my pet shop where animals come to die is a real zoo." Instead, here are my primary sources for my information on alligator behavior:
Dragon Songs: Love and Adventure among Crocodiles, Alligators, and Other Dinosaur Relations- Vladimir Dinets
The Secret Social Lives of Reptiles- J. Sean Doody, Vladimir Dinets, Gordon M. Burghardt
Social Behavior Deficiencies in Captive American Alligators (Alligator mississippiensis)- Z Walsh, H Olson, M Clendening, A Rycyk
Social Displays of the American Alligator (Alligator mississippiensis)- Kent Vliet
Social Signals and Behaviors of Adult Alligators and Crocodiles- Leslie Garrick, Jeffery Lang
Never smile at a crocodile: Gaping behaviour in the Nile crocodile at Ndumo Game Reserve, South Africa- Cormac Price, Mohamed Ezat, Céline Hanzen, Colleen Downs (this one's Nile crocs, not American alligators, but it's really useful for modeling an understanding of gape behaviors and proximity)
Thermoregulatory Behavior of Captive American Alligators (Alligator mississippiensis)- Cheryl S. Asa, Gary D. London, Ronald R. Goellner, Norman Haskell, Glenn Roberts, Crispen Wilson
Unprovoked Mouth Gaping Behavior in Extant Crocodylia- Noah J. Carl, Heather A. Stewart, Jenny S. Paul
Thank you for reading! Here's a very happy wild alligator from Sanibel for your trouble.
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I feel like such a fraud! (amused)
I have been at this shit since 1999 and this is first time I've actually ever *really* understood clearly what DPI means for an image. I've read a million things, and had a photography teacher explain, and I sort of mostly got it, but this? This just made it finally click. From Spoonflower:
I'm fully blaming graphics programs for why I wasn't totally getting it. And here's why.
When you create a new blank canvas to work on, you have to input the dimensions you would like it to be. You can choose which unit of measure you'd like to use, inches, pixels, cm etc. In my mind this set up a situation where "pixels" was a fixed unit of measure, immutable, just like an inch is. That it could be measured with a ruler and would always be the same size no matter how many were present. I wasn't thinking about the DPI making the pixels change their relative size, therefore changing the dimensions.
This is one of those OH. Fucking DUH things where once it clicks it really makes sense and you'll never forget it because this is your new mindset. Like. Before now I sorta got it? But was still a little *head tilt* about it. Now I'm a digital image professional, ready to tackle all of your visual arts needs.
(The reason I was even on that page is because I'm trying to determine how to get the best looking result for a sublimated print on a pre-made garment. I know Spoonflower does custom fabrics, and figured they would have info on best practices for image sizes and resolutions. Was not expecting to have my mind blown.)
#Imposter Syndrome? No I'm just an actual factual dumbass sometimes#I freely admit my mistakes because we're all humans#Infallible is for mountains.
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or, lol, lmao. you all could just stop spouting whatever bs hearsay you make up in your minds BEFORE it gets circulated.
#to be fair post here is not That bad but over the course of the month I've seen several with 10s of thousands more notes#that actually have blatantly irresponsible+harmful claims or misinformation#I'm all 4 owning up to your mistakes but I wish people would take more serious consideration when making factual posts they want 2 blow up#ough im being so mean tonight i should shut up Actually#im putting off like 4 really really important stressful time sensitive things rn#and i shouldn't put all the stress that gives me into this procrastination#and yettttttttt
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I should probably work out what rank Watson is supposed to be in this too shouldn't I
Captain?
If I'm loosely following canon though he was probably only in the army for like a year before getting forced out by injury so...
#he can't be higher than Moran though it doesn't fit#you know when my mum broke her knee the guy who operated on it#was from the RAMC he was a colonel#I understand very little about the army and its structure though#and it's probably going to show#but nevermind#I've read countless books from 'proper' publishers riddled with factual errors#and nobody seems to give a shit about those mistakes
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Bro I haven’t seen The Takes first hand but I am NOT looking forward to them
'they killed off a protagonist' no they didn't
'they killed off one of the only characters in the show that's played by a queer actor' not really
'well they killed off the only character in the show that's played by an actor that's vocal about queer rights' 1. no 2. please don't say shit like this when vico ortiz is right there 3. no again
'they fridged him' nope
'they only killed him for ed's development' also nope
'they caved to anti pressure' lmao
'they buried their gays' 1. [hot fuzz voice] just the one gay actually 2. that's not what that means
'this is ableist' it's not
'this is homophobic' it's not that either
#and for the record I actually really like Izzy now and STILL think this did his character narrative justice#txt#ofmd s2 spoilers#ofmd fandom crit#the izcourse#izzy hands#yeah some of those takes were acting like con was the only actor in the entire show#saw someone who said con was more vocal abt activism than vico#like that is factually incorrect u just only watch convention panels and here con say “gay rights” and get cheered#i'm really out here feeling like jonathan frakes on that fucking fact or fiction show he presented#i went in the tag for one second lads. mistakes were made#<— girl what??#bicera
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I Missed My Funeral
jason todd x reader
aka you learn what happened to jason
warnings: detailed discussion of how jason died, this is not so happy but i can promise you my jason angst will always have comfort
You wonder if your nightmares are accurate.
Your brain is probably just conjuring up every worst case scenario it can fathom, but maybe there’s truth to one of them. You hope not.
It’s something you haven’t been able to keep out of your mind these past few weeks, and everything seems to remind you of it. When you see his guns, when you’re using a knife to cut up dinner, when you see a car crash on the news, or even when you walk past a fucking pharmacy. The thoughts are everywhere, all the time.
Even as you lay in bed, head on his chest, your mind keeps on drifting where you wish it wouldn’t.
You know he died. He never said it out loud, but you’d seen his autopsy scar plenty of times. You’d always refrained from asking questions, he seemed nervous enough the first handful of times he was around you with his shirt off. Enough time has passed that he’s comfortable being shirtless around you, even okay when you touch his chest. The decrease in boundaries has granted you more solace in one another, but it’s also caused your mind to go wild with possibilities.
Even now, as you lie against his bare chest, you can’t keep your cat-killing thoughts away.
“You’re being quiet,” He comments, not accusatory, just factual.
You snap out of reverie, “Sorry, I—”
His hand soothes up and down your arm without pause, “Don’t be sorry. What’s going on?”
“I just…” you look down, thinking over your words. “What…what happened to you?” You ask quietly.
He goes still.
You immediately regret bringing it up, sitting up from his chest to meet his eyes, “I’m sorry, I don’t need to—”
He shakes his head. The slightest response from him shuts you right up. “No, it’s…it’s okay. Probably should’ve said something by now.”
He nudges your head back down to his chest and you oblige, trying to relax your body against him again. It’s a difficult thing to talk yourself into when his isn’t any more relaxed.
“I…you know I used to be Robin?” His voice is low, hesitant.
You nod.
“Well…I made a mistake—a few mistakes. I wasn’t as careful as I should’ve been and I walked into a trap.”
You’re sure he’s placing more blame on himself than he should, though you don’t know enough to fight him on it yet. You wrap your hand around his forearm that drapes across your chest, a silent affirmation that you’re here with nothing but support and reassurance.
His breath stutters, “The, uh…the Joker set me up and…well, he killed me.”
You don’t want to ask how. You don’t want to know how. But you feel like you have to and it’s selfish and you know that but you can’t leave just it at that.
It’s a barely audible whisper. You’re not even sure Jason could fully hear the word, but he understands the intent anyway.
His next exhale is shaky, “Yeah, um, that’s the rough part.”
Your head twitches. “That’s the rough part?” You breathe out, scared to hear what’s next.
You can’t see from this angle, but Jason’s eyes are welling over, trying desperately not to let tears fall. It takes him a moment to prepare himself to verbalize the next part.
“He…he be—” he stops himself. “…He hit me with a crowbar. A lot.”
Oh.
You can physically feel your chest sink.
That’s worse than all the horrifying scenarios you’d built up in your head. That’s…he was beaten to death. For trying to help people.
You don’t want to leave him in the silence for too long, so you ask the only thing you can think to.
“How old were you?”
He drops his head to press his mouth against your head, like he’s trying to ground himself. “Fifteen,” He murmurs into your hair.
Oh.
You flip over so you’re chest to chest with him and hold him tight. “I’m sorry.”
He wasn’t expecting you to say that. The very very few times he’s had anything even remotely relating to this conversation, the revelation is always met by silence. Or worse.
But you’re sorry. No one’s ever said that to him before. About anything, but especially this. What does sorry even mean in this context? You didn’t do anything, are you sorry for asking? Do you…do you feel bad for him?
He swallows hard, “You’re sorry?”
“Yeah,” You say, furrowing your brow. “You’re a good person, Jay. You’re a really good person and…you didn’t deserve any of the shit that happened to you. Especially that. I hate that you’ve been through so much and I’m sorry.”
He refuses to blink but the tears are threatening to win anyways with nowhere else to go.
He shakes his head weakly, “It was my own fault.”
“Jason,” you say seriously. “It was not your fault. You were trying to help someone, weren’t you?”
It takes him a moment to respond to that. “I—yeah. Yes. My mom. My birth mom.” He takes a breath, “He, uh, he was blackmailing her and I tried to help her—I tried. But she gave me up to try and save herself…it didn’t matter in the end.”
While you didn’t know about the history with his birth mom, you’d been sure he’d died helping someone. That’s just who he is—whether he knows it or not.
“There was a bomb and it…” He lets that bit trail off. “I don’t remember the explosion. I think I passed out before it happened.”
He doesn’t remember the explosion. But…
He does remember the other part.
You have to drop your head into his neck so that he doesn’t see the way your eyes well up.
“Please know you’re a good person. Please,” you plead. “You’re the best person I know.”
“But…” his breath comes out shaky, “No one…no one did anything.”
The tears fall now, and in spite of the fact that he hasn’t let himself cry in front of anyone since he was ten, he doesn’t feel the usual burning impulse to hide. Not from you.
His voice breaks as he says, “He killed me and he didn’t…”
You sit up straight again and hold his face in your hands, looking him in the eye. “That’s not your fault. Whatever Bruce did or didn’t do, it has nothing to do with you. It’s all about him.”
You gently wipe his tears with your thumb as the weight of his head drops forward, leaving your touch the only thing holding him up.
You know he has…problems with Bruce. You know his death is a sore subject among them for more reasons than the obvious. You also know the Joker still lives and breathes today and there’s some sort of rule or agreement that Jason isn’t allowed out on patrol when he’s loose.
There’s clear trust issues there, on both sides, but you’ve always had trouble figuring out what exactly Bruce had done to leave Jason so closed off. It pushed him away from his family and caused potentially irreparable scarring to his ability to trust other people. It actually makes a lot of sense that this is what caused the rift between them—you’d been thinking maybe Bruce was the reason Jason died or he couldn’t stop it, but this…this is a different kind of damaging. Fuck, no wonder Jason feels like he doesn’t belong in his family.
You take a heavy breath, “You’re important. You’re important to me and whatever moral roadblocks Bruce couldn’t get over doesn’t change that—it has nothing to do with how good you are.”
You’re definitely crying now but at this point it doesn’t matter. It’s more important for him to hear this than for you to pretend like this isn’t as horrible as it is.
He doesn’t look up at you but you can see his own tears dripping off his face. You don’t see him cry very much at all, and definitely not like this.
You sniffle, “Do you wanna switch?”
He nods against your palms and lets you out of his hold to sit up as he shifts lower on the bed and wraps his arms around your torso. You weave one of your hands in his hair and stroke softly. The other rubs soothing patterns on his back, feeling the heaviness of his breath under it.
You kiss the top of his head, “I love you. So much.”
He holds you tighter, murmuring “I love you,” into your chest.
It’s quiet for several minutes after as you both process the words said.
You’re the first to pipe up again, “How did…”
He exhales, “Ah…it’s a little complicated…”
He wants to talk about it another time. That’s fine by you.
Another silent minute passes before, “Bruce isn’t…he’s not a bad…we had a lot of problems after I came back. Both of us. Took a while to get over ‘em.” There’s a beat before, “Still getting over ‘em.”
You nod, continuing tracing onto his back. His voice is clearer again, stronger.
“Is that why you don’t like being at the batcave?” you ask.
“No,” he murmurs. “It’s ‘cause he keeps the suit on display.”
You look down at him, frowning. “What suit?”
“The robin suit.”
You pause.
“That robin suit?”
He nods.
…what
for clarification bc i think i thought this was canon oh well
🔮🕯️the reblog witch bids you do her bidding 🕯️����
#i may have cried a little#had this son of a bitch in the drafts since MAY#unofficial part one to the previously posted#jason todd loves his gf#jason todd x reader#jason todd imagine#jason todd x you#red hood imagine#red hood x reader#red hood x you#jason todd fanfic#jason todd fanfiction#jason todd x y/n#jason todd/you#jason todd/reader#red hood fanfic#red hood fanfiction#dc x reader#dc imagine#dc x you#dc fanfiction#dc fanfic#batfam imagine#batfam x reader#jason todd thoughts#red hood/you#red hood/reader
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