#there is a cat outside my window which won’t shut up!!! | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

cosmonaughty · 2 months ago

Text

The Lucky Ones. chapter 4

I did say you'd get two updates this week, didn't I? This chapter contains a time-skip because it was originally two shorter chapters, but I wanted to meet my 6 page average, so sue me.

[Content warning: references to child abuse]

previous chapter

next chapter

They had agreed to meet by the lake every Wednesday night. Vincent had wanted to make it twice a week, at minimum, but Claudia steadfastly refused to risk sneaking out more than once a week. Eventually, the two of them compromised that Wednesday was a good day because it would give her something to look forward to during the previous days of the week and him something to reflect on for the remaining days. However, after less than a month of this routine, Claudia decided that it was time to call it off. Although she enjoyed spending more time with Vincent, therefore spending less time in her own head, and although she secretly savored the thrill that came with escaping into the darkness for a couple of hours, the risk to her was far greater than the reward.

After their third rendezvous, she quietly slipped back into her bedroom through the window as she had done twice before. As she closed the window behind her with the practiced silence of a cat burgular, she paused. Although it began faintly, she detected a noise which made the hair at the nape of her neck stand up: the sound of heavy footsteps coming down the stairs. Panicked, she scrambled into bed and pulled the covers up to her chin, hiding her day clothes. She shut her eyes and buried her face in her pillow just as the door to her bedroom opened. She could feel Leonard’s eyes scrutinizing her to make sure she was really asleep and she prayed that her racing heart wasn’t as loud as it sounded in her head.

After what felt like an hour of lying perfectly still, Claudia heard her father mutter something unintelligible under his breath and close the door. She listened until she could no longer hear his footsteps on the stairs and then let out a slow, shaky breath. I can’t do it. She thought miserably. He’ll surely kill me if he finds out. She turned over and faced the wall, curling up as tightly as she could. But how can I tell Vincent? He’ll be so disappointed; he probably won’t like me anymore. Her throat tightened at that thought of losing another friend. The idea of being alone again frightened her almost as much as her father did, but she knew that it was something she could get used to if need be. She had done it before.

She didn’t see Vincent at all the next day and was preparing to walk home by herself again on Friday when she spotted him outside of her school, leaning against the bike rack. She paused for a moment, admiring his casual demeanor and the confident little smirk he always wore, wondering what it must be like to feel so at ease in one’s own body. It seemed unlikely to her that Vincent was the type to second-guess his own thoughts and actions; he could stand in a place with complete conviction that he was where he was supposed to be, that the space he was occupying was his. So often, Claudia felt like there was no space for her. Except for when…

She hugged her satchel to her chest, unsure of whether or not she should approach him. When he spotted her, he gave a jaunty wave, signaling for her to come over. Claudia felt her cheeks flush hot and she hurried down the steps toward him; she tried to think of something to say, but all she could come up with was:

“Isn’t it a little weird for you to be hanging around a middle school?”

Vincent looked puzzled by this greeting.

“Um, hello to you too…What do you mean? How is that weird?”

“Well,” She shrugged. “You being in High School and all. You don’t go here. Somebody might think you’re up to no good.”

“Really, Claudia?” He scoffed. “I’m wearing a ‘Mathletes’ sweatshirt, I don’t think anyone is going to mistake me for some kind of punk.”

“You are some kind of punk.” She reminded him. He laughed.

“Maybe. But nobody else needs to know, right?” He tipped her a conspiratorial wink and added. “Sorry I couldn’t be here yesterday, I forgot to tell you I had an appointment.”

“It’s okay…” She muttered. “I got home fine without you.” This comment sounded harsh to Claudia as it left her lips and she quickly amended it. “Though, I would have preferred to have you here, I confess. What was your appointment?” Vincent tilted his chin up proudly.

“I was hoping you would ask me that. Here, I’ll show you.” He took her by the arm and led her into the parking lot, stopping beside a green Chevrolet Vega. He fanned out his hands. “Ta daa! What do you think?”

“…You got a car?”

“Well,” He let his hands fall limply to his sides, a little disappointed by her lack of enthusiasm. “I got my license. Technically, the car belongs to my mom, I’m just allowed to drive it. But that’s where I was yesterday, you see. I was passing my driver’s test.” He ran his hand appreciatively over the hood of the car. “Now I can drive you home every day. Pretty great, huh?”

Claudia let her eyes wander over the car, not really taking any part of it in.

“It’s nice.”

“Gee, don’t act too excited.”

“No, really,” She looked up at him. “It’s great. It’s just…”

“Just what?”

“It’s just…driving is faster than walking by quite a bit.” She twisted a lock of her hair between her fingers. “So, it won’t take so long to get home.”

“Not sure I understand what you’re getting at.”

“Well, that means we won’t have as much time together, doesn’t it?”

Vincent chuckled with his mouth closed, creating a sound which Claudia had come to associate with infuriating smugness and which was often accompanied by the phrase ‘oh, Claudia…’ He shook his head, but the gesture and his condescending tone were both contradicted by a flash of pointed eye-contact. I’m playing, the sly look told her. You’re playing along, right?

“Au contraire.” He circled around to the passenger’s side. “This means freedom. It means I can drive over here from school, pick you up, we can spend our time however we like, and then I can zip you back home before four and our parents will be none the wiser.” He popped the passenger’s door open and held his hand out to her. “What do you say?”

She hesitantly reached out, unsure of what he wanted her to do besides, of course, play along.

“I...It sounds lovely…” She took his hand and squeezed it gently. He squeezed back and tugged her closer to him.

“Great.”

“…great.” They exchanged a warm smile. She became aware that she was still holding onto his hand and quickly pulled away.

Vincent didn’t seem to have any specific destination in mind as he drove down Bachman Street, Rush streaming from the car’s speakers at an unreasonable volume. Claudia had begun to relax a little bit and had even rolled down her window an inch or two, letting the wind toss her hair about. Nevertheless, there was something on her mind that wouldn’t leave her alone.

“Um…Vincent?” She said quietly.

“Hm?” He glanced at her and turned down the radio. “What’s on your mind?”

“I can’t sneak out anymore. I’m sorry.”

“What? Why not?”

“I almost got caught this last time. It was terrible.”

“Key word being ‘almost’.” He pointed out.

“No.” She insisted somewhat louder, embarrassed to hear the pitch of her voice raise with its volume. “You don’t understand, I cannot risk getting caught. I could be…” She sighed and shook her head anxiously. “I could be in serious trouble if I were caught.” She rubbed her jaw absently. Vincent sighed as well.

“Maybe it’s for the best. My mom suspects that I’m up to something, though what it is she thinks I’m up to, I couldn’t say.” He brightened a little and looked over at her. “But at least we’ll have our afternoons like this, right? And next year, you’ll be in High School too. We’ll be seeing more of each other then, no doubt.” Claudia smiled and nodded. Vincent continued. “It’s so stupid that we have to strategize like this. We aren’t doing anything wrong. Our parents just seem to expect the worst of us.”

“I don’t know why…” Claudia added. “What trouble could we possibly get into? Especially around here.”

“Exactly.” Vincent agreed. “My mom seems to think that the second I’m out the door, I’ll go shoot junk or have sex or…dunno, both? As if I could.” He added resentfully. “I mean, has she seen me? I wear Buddy Holly glasses and a sweatshirt with the nine-letter equivalent of ‘nerd’ on it in big, bold letters. I somehow doubt I’m on anyone’s ‘to-do’ list. Even if I do have a cool car now.”

“If you hate that sweatshirt so much, why do you wear it?” She asked, choosing to ignore the rest of his complaint. She didn’t have much she could contribute to a discussion of “junk” or “to-do lists”. As far as she knew, he didn’t have much to say on those subjects either, he just liked to bring up such things to see if he could shock her.

“I don’t hate it, per se.” He admitted. “I mean, there is something to be said for owning a shirt that basically states that you’re smarter than everyone else. I can appreciate that.”

“Well, you don’t think much of yourself, do you?” She chided. Although his cockiness hardly came as a surprise anymore, she felt it was expected of her to keep it in check. Someone had to. “’Smarter than everyone else’ is quite a claim.”

“Yes, but it’s true. I mean, I have had teachers ask me to check their work, for godsake. I think I deserve some credit.”

“Well, don’t let it go to your head…”

“Oh please, Claudia.” He grinned at her. “Would I do that?”

________________________________________________________

On her first day of high school, Claudia wore an old grey dress and a new black eye. She hid behind her hair and drifted to and from her classes, feeling like she was doing everything wrong somehow. In one class, she was using the wrong kind of pen; in another, she had the wrong edition of the text book. She even walked into the wrong classroom on more than one occasion. She avoided Vincent in the lunchroom, not wanting him to see what a wreck she was, and when it came time for her to meet him by the flagpole after sixth period, she wasn’t there.

After waiting for nearly ten minutes, he decided to search the campus for her. Eventually, he found her behind the school, curled up beneath the bleachers with her knees drawn up to her chest and her face buried in her folded arms, veiled by her sallow hair. He dropped to his knees beside her and lightly touched her shoulder.

“Claudia…?”

“I don’t want to talk to you right now.” Her voice was muffled but audible and Vincent could detect a slight quaver. “Just leave me alone. I can walk home.”

“What’s wrong?” He persisted. “I haven’t seen you all day.”

“I can’t do anything right.” She moaned into her knees. “I tried not to be noticed, but somehow…somehow I’m always wrong.”

“How’s that?”

“My hair, my clothes, where I sit, the questions I ask, the answers I give. I always seem to be wrong. Why is it like this? Is it supposed to be this hard?”

“It’s hard for everyone at first, I think; you’ll get the hang of it.”

“Nobody likes me.” She added despondently.

“Why should you care if they like you or not? They’re idiots.”

“But they’re so cruel.” She looked up at him. Her face was streaked with tears, at least the left side was, her hair concealed the right side. “During gym, someone broke into my locker and hid my clothes, so I was late for my next class. And then the teacher didn’t believe my excuse and he wrote me up and said that if it happens again he’ll call my father!” She got increasingly distressed as she spoke until she finally broke down sobbing. Vincent held up one hand but didn’t move to touch her. “I didn’t do anything wrong!” She continued. “Why would they do that? I haven’t given any of them reason to hate me…”

“I know…” He said quietly. “Jeez, I’m sorry, Claudia. All I can say is that I’m sure it’ll get better. I hope it will, anyway.”

“I know it will…someday.” She wiped the tears off of her cheeks with the sleeve of her sweater. “I…I’m going see it happen one day. I know that I will live to see Paradise on earth. I’ll see to it that it happens within our lifetime.” The very idea made her smile, although just slightly. “All this cruelty and needless pain will be gone forever.”

His friend’s sudden lapse into fantasy worried Vincent somewhat. It wasn’t the first time he’d heard her say such things, but it was always alarming when she began to openly wish for Judgment Day. In this case, he was at least relieved to see her spirits lifted, so he nodded and said nothing. Claudia let out a tearful sigh and wrung the hem of her dress between her hands. “I know that until that day, I just have to endure. But sometimes it’s just so hard.”

Vincent shook his head sadly and inched closer to her before pulling her into an awkward embrace which seemed to consist mainly of elbows and ribs and empty space between them. Claudia’s body tensed in response to being touched unexpectedly, but she quickly relaxed against him and leaned her head on his narrow shoulder.

“You know,” He told her gently. “You don’t have to just wait for Paradise. You can make your own happiness.”

“Clearly, I can’t.”

“Oh, sure you can.” He smiled and held her out at arm’s length. “Just don’t let these jokers get the better of you. You’re stronger than they are.” He tucked her hair behind her ear. “Besides, they…”

His easy smile dissolved when he saw her badly bruised eye and cheek; numbly, his hand dropped to his side and a shadow of concern fell across his face. His mind went back to a time in church, many years before, when he had seen Claudia’s father strike her. He had tried to forget about it, but couldn’t. A few weeks after the first incident, he had witnessed the same cruelty again, only this time more so. Seeing the broken, bleeding young girl crying on the floor, he had wanted to say something but for once he couldn’t find the words, for all the good they would do.

Claudia saw the look on his face and quickly tried to cover the bruises once again with her hair. She looked up at him desperately and whispered:

“Please don’t.”

“Claudia…” He began softly. She silenced him by turning away and standing.

“Don’t.” She insisted again and, without waiting for him to follow, started off towards the parking lot.

#vincent smith #claudia wolf #silent hill 3 #fanfiction #sh3 fanfic #claudiaxvincent

2 notes · View notes

starlahuskyz · 1 year ago

Text

Chances - Chapter 4

Summary: Jordan prepares for a food run, but she's visited by her furry companion.

This is a very short chapter sorry. But next chapters will be more interesting I promise.

Chapter 3 <<< >>> Chapter 5

TW// None

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jordan's House

Jordan is now alone, she closes the door while wiping her face of any lipstick remnant. She goes upstairs to the bathroom and uses water to properly clean her face. While washing, she hears a sound.

“Meow” A black cat with protruding fangs sits outside the window watching her.

“What’s up Bixby?” Jordan dries her face and opens the window letting the small feline in. It jumps onto her shoulder rubbing its head against hers.

“Sorry bud, I won’t be staying long. I gotta eat.” Jordan hightails it to the basement which also doubles as her room. She turns on the lights and Bixby jumps from her shoulder to the floor as he watches her rummage through her room. It’s not the cleanest, nor coolest, nor most amazing room but it’s enough. Has an old TV with a VHS player and a video game system. The bed was unkempt and full of stuffed animals she’s gathered from the years. A nightstand sits next to the bed with a red and black lava lamp casting a nice glow on the room.

“Meow” Bixby talks to Jordan.

“I’m looking for my flask, do you know where it is?” She doesn’t look up from the box she’s rummaging in.

Bixby stalks over to the bed and jumps on it. “Mreow” Bixby paws at the pillow.

“Oh that’s right! Man what would I do without you buddy.” She picks up the pillow and finds a shiny red scratched up flask.

“Meow” Bixby looks at her expectantly.

“Sorry bud, you’re gonna have to wait for a treat until I get back.” Jordan scratches Bixby while he growls lightly. She heads for the stairs while Bixby settles for a nap on her bed.

Jordan scans her room before leaving “I really gotta clean this place up”. She looks at all the scattered clothes and boxes with useless knick knacks. “I can do it later.”

“Meow” Bixby pipes up.

“Hey! Shut up, I will do it someday. Keyword, someday.”

She turns off all the lights in the house and heads into town on her bike. It was time to eat.

Jordan pulls up to the Boardwalk for the second time that night. She knew she’d be staying a while, she needed to eat soon. It was even more crowded from when she had first arrived earlier in the evening. Trash cans are lit up with plenty of party goers swarming them like flies on crap. Music reverberated through the whole boardwalk as it was being played on the beach. She walked through all the people while scanning the many individuals who walked past. “This ain’t gonna be easy…” Jordan thinks. Before anything else could happen, she hears a loud voice call out “Stop! Don’t hurt him!”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Taglist (If you wanna be tagged, just ask ^ ^)

@blog4horror @ria-coolgirl @oceansrose2002 @hypocriticaltypwriter @deliciousfestsalad

#tlb jordan

12 notes · View notes

bonesbuckleup · 2 years ago

Note

You’re writing a book?! What the hell that’s so exciting!!

I was gonna ask you about it bc I’m 👀🍽️ but then I saw the ask game you were having and realized that nr 17 fits perfectly >:) (ofc you can be as specific as you want/are able to be) I’m also really curious about 23, more specifically if there’s a place you often go to where you generally feel more productive?

(and if these have already been asked you can just pick whichever question you feel like you want to answer lol ♥️)

Answering out of order!

23. Describe the physical environment in which you write. Be as detailed as possible. Tell me what’s around you as you work. Paint me a picture.

I have a standing desk in my bedroom with a walking pad. On that desk is a Bluetooth keyboard, a stand for my laptop, and a second monitor. There's also a lamp, some speakers, a copy of Save the Cat Writes a Novel, a bunch of notebooks, some scrap paper, a mug with pens, some thumb tacks, and a candle. I've got a white board to the left, cork boards, and a conspiracy wall of paper taped everywhere for easy-access notes. I'm talking full Pepe Silvia set up, to be honest. It is not elegant, but it gets the job done.

17. Talk to me about the minutiae of your current WIP. Tell me about the lore, the history, the detail, the things that won’t make it in the text.

Rambling vaguely about my original projects beneath the cut. There are two: the one I'm about to rewrite that I've been submitting to agents, and then the shiny new thing.

Project One! A YA contemporary fantasy novel called Initiate. To steal my twitter pitch/aesthetic.

The women of 16-year-old Cal Townsend's family have two traditions--witchcraft and secrets. When her father suddenly dies, and Cal is sent to live with her estranged maternal grandmother on a remote island in Lake Superior, Cal unknowingly enters into both. Initiate has:

Great Lakes gothic vibes

A Superior-based magic system

Queer kids trying their best

Sentient shadows

Hauntings of various kinds

Breaking generational curses

So! Much! Ice!

ANYWAY. I am about to rip that one apart at the seams, so that's all I have to say about it. However, I am also working on a new one that would probably appeal to Batfam fandom fans, so why not pop it in here as well.

It does not have a title yet, and is only the crime mage boys wip.

Set in a world that's exactly like ours except magic is an unquestioned part of it, the vibe of the crime mage boys wip is The Outsiders meets Rear Window but, like, also with magic and Chicago. Basically almost everyone has the capacity to do small magic (light a cigarette with a snap of the fingers, etc etc), but a small portion of the population can't do any (null) and another small portion can do big magic (mages).

The Grayson brothers (I know okay shut up) are hanging on by a thread. Leo (23, null, Tired™️) has been his brothers' legal guardian for the past 5 years and works multiple jobs with long hours to keep them afloat. JT (18/19, on week 52 of being in a bad mood) was a promising mage who had his magic permanently cut off by the police after being in the wrong place at the wrong time-- effectively torpedoing every future plan he'd ever had in a single night and leaving him floundering. Miles (14, protagonist, text book flight risk) just wants to keep his head down and not add to his brothers' many problems.

To bring in some extra money, Miles secretly works for a PI and helps her gather evidence (photos of cheaters caught in the act, checking to see if people really live at addresses--low risk recon jobs, basically). But add in a witnessed murder, a DIY-vigilante who keeps putting himself in Miles's way, and a growing mages' rights movement sweeping over the city, and Miles is getting a hell of a lot more than he bargained for.

ANYWAY that one is still very much in progress, but please enjoy these picrews of the three brothers: Miles, JT, and Leo, in that order.

#mail #a-canceled-stamp #pandering for asks #weird writing questions meme #writing #THANK YOU I had a lot of fun ranting about my OCs here #reblogs turned off from this one ✌️#I am aware JT looks like Dean Winchester with an undercut #it was an accident and I do not want to talk about it lmao #oversharing etc etc #Becca writes a book #Becca writes (another) book #also I'm sorry the picrews are so big #I have them small in the editor #hellsite strikes again

13 notes · View notes

kimmimaru · 1 year ago

Text

So, I struggle to sleep. My brain will just refuse to shut the fuck up, basically. So I started listening to sleep stories, just to give myself something other than my own thoughts to focus on. It’s worked ok so far, found some that have helped. Anyways, the issue I have is that there are some pretty long pauses between paragraphs in some of them, so the voice will fade away and there’ll be soft music or rain sounds and I’ll be juuuust on the edge of sleep and then the guy will start talking again. It scares the fuck out of me lol. Makes me jump every bloody time. His voice isn’t even loud at all, its very soft and gentle sounding but it’s so unexpected that it jerks me awake again. Also I use youtube because I don’t know anywhere else (no, I won’t use audible. I already pay for prime, don’t want to fork out extra). I did find one story I enjoy read by Stephen Fry, there’s just something so nice about his voice. And he doesn’t do the long pauses so that’s a bonus. And I really hate that ASMR stuff. It’s weird and uncomfortable. I just wish I wasn’t so sound sensitive because any deviation from the usual night time noises wakes me up and once I’m awake, I’m awake and there’s no chance I’m going back to sleep. For example: People outside. I live in a usually quiet place, countryside close to some woodland. So when my neighbours come home drunk from the pub and stand outside chatting (I say chatting, its more like they’re so pissed they have no concept of ‘quiet’ and are just shouting at one another) if I was asleep before, I will wake up as soon as I hear their footsteps. The pair of owls who seem to live in the trees outside my house? Loud fucking birds. They like to scream at one another for a good long while. Foxes? Also loud fuckers. Hedgehogs? The worst. Grunting and sniffing. Cats? Ffs no one needs to hear that. My neighbour deciding to cook a whole fucking meal at 3am? Chop, chop, chop, bang bang bang, crash. Microwave ping. Jesus christ. (not to mention the thuds as they walk around in their flat, that’s not their fault though). People opening their windows? So. Loud. Ever listened to big ass Victorian mental hospital windows open? It’s not fun when you’re trying to sleep and then suddenly have the awful feeling that its not a neighbour and someone is, in fact, breaking into YOUR house, through your window even though it’s locked and you have a massive dog who hates other people down stairs. So then you have to get up and wobble your sleepy arse down stairs to make sure. Also the noise from the pipes, the general sounds of other people’s TV’s (is that ghosts having a meeting in your living room? No, it’s your neighbour watching some late night television). And then...and then there’s the sound of electricity. That shits annoying. No one ever believes you either, you can insist until you’re blue in the face that yes, the walls ARE making sounds but no, you’re crazy. It hums. And it’s not tinnitus either. And yet...and YET, I also can’t sleep in perfect silence either. Because it drives me insane and it comes back to having to listen to my own thoughts. Which is not good. Night time me is mean. So, thank god for fans and sleep music/stories. So long as its not ASMR, don’t have long pauses so you end up with an accidental jump-scare and it sounds like Stephen Fry.

#Late night ramblings #sorry #I am so tired

4 notes · View notes

paragonrobits · 2 years ago

Text

Hey it’s been a while since i gave any kind of update so here’s my current situation!

The whole thing with my aunt fell through, though it wasn’t anything on our part and we were getting along just fine (also i randomly ran into my mom’s sister, whose my only aunt on her side of the family, which was nice!); the long and short of what happened is that my dad never actually looked into checking if we COULD live there or not, and the management was extremely strict on how long people were allowed to visit, and just moving people in was not allowed at all.

My dad was constantly being asked by my aunt to provide important stuff; for instance, documentation that needed to be handed in IMMEDIATELY for them to even begin the paperwork to CONSIDER me being allowed to be there or not. He kept talking about how he would definitely give it, and then he would just... not do that. He kept flaking on literally everything. The one time he DID follow up on his promises, he gave her a letter specifying how much i make in social security, and it was out of date by OVER TEN YEARS.

(Needless to say, they did not take it.)

Complications kept piling up, one after another. We weren’t allowed to be outside at ALL before management went home at afternoon. We had to keep the windows shut at all times to prevent anyone from seeing us. We couldn’t play our computers after 5:00 because then the neighbors would apparently hear it and complain to management. There was a super-nosy neighbor who was constantly snitching on everyone to management for no reason... it just went on. The entire time my dad refused to listen to me when i kept telling him how serious it was getting, insisting that my aunt was delusional and making it up. At one point management came down and gave her a warning, and said they were going to install cameras so they could see anyone who was breaking their rules.

(Fuckin’ landlords, I tell you.)

So eventually my dad just picked us up and moved us back into his place, and further more, had the idea to renovate the garage, or a part of it, into a section for us to live. We’re still working on that, but at least i have a place to put up my gaming computer so i can play it now and use it for things that demand more high power. He’s picked up most of the stuff from my aunt’s, except my desk, which he forget. (Despite it being a huge desk.)

So now we’re in the garage. I’m still living in the living room, more or less, which has unofficially become my space, and my dad keeps presurring me to just move out full time into the garage and won’t listen to me when i tell him that i CAN’T because my cat doesn’t like being out there, and i can’t have her in there at the same time as the air mattress my brother is using, because she WILL pop it just walking on it.

HE says “well don’t let her do that” while his dogs are constantly urinating on the floor and no matter how much everyone is complaining about the dogs doing that, they’re also not making any effort to train them to stop it besides telling them to go outside.

But all things considered, this is still a massive improvement. There are still problems, of course; my dad is still having me pay 500 a month to him and that represents more than half of my income from SSI, as I think I’ve mentioned before. Furthermore, we’re not allowed to eat food from his fridge at all (though seasonings seem okay?) and have to buy all our own food. Good news is, they got us a fridge to use. The bad news is, he expects me to feed two people on less than 160$ a month and, as usual, just thinks its fine for me to live indefinitely in a situation he wouldn’t tolerate for even a day.

Still, its pretty tolerable, all things considered; i am considering doing more frequent but shorter comms for 15$ or 30$ at a time which would make things much easier and allow me to buy more food instead of having to wait for my brother to hopefully get a job (he’s looking, but that can take a while)

on the plus side, my brother was given a higher quality laptop, and gave me his old one. It is indeed old, incapable of running games other than ALpha Centauri or DOS era games, but it DOES make an absolutely fantastic writing computer, which is what I’m now using it for. Since its portable, i can just park it in the living room while I’m allowed to be in there and do my writing, and do game stuff later in the day on my old desktop, which permits a decent schedule.

so far i’ve come to a few conclusions:

1. a lot of this would have been avoided if my dad had bothered asking anyone if what he intended to do was actually allowed, and more importantly, that he apparently operates on the principle of “everything will work out fine because i want it to’

2. my oldest step-brother is undoubtedly my dad’s favorite and i’ve already cracked a mildly bitter joke about him actually being the son my dad always wanted (because he’s into military stuff, got married and has a kid), and I’m certain about this because in the relatively short time he’s been here at some point after I moved out into my sister’s, they completely reordered the house to suit his needs. They cleared out a room and converted it into a child’s bedroom, they got rid of the dining table and made the area it was in into a living room for his use, they fixed the air conditioning when the whole time me and my brother were here they ignored how hot that room got and insisted there was nothing they could do...

honestly its really grating that he was entirely willing to dump me and my brother at a homeless shelter until his sister bullied him into NOT doing that, but if that step-brother I mentioned has the slightest inconvenience he can’t trip over himself fast enough to fix it but at this point i’ m just too exhausted to care that much.

#personal #johnny stuff #queued

8 notes · View notes

dmwrites · 2 years ago

Text

There are three types of morning people.

——

Gem loved the mornings. She woke up naturally as the sun rose, and she went to her balcony to enjoy the colors change from dark to light.

“How beautiful!” She told her pet cat, who was still asleep in her lap. “Mornings are wonderful!” She spread her arms wide as if to embrace the sky and knocked her water glass off of the balcony. She watched it fall a very long ways down, where it smashed on the ground, like a gunshot in the silence. Several groups of birds took off in fright.

“Skin care routine time!” Gem said to her now startled cat after sitting in awkward silence for a moment. She had a ten step skincare routine that was not to be altered or interrupted. Her zen time. Yeah, sure, she always told the haters (herself), she would soon get covered in dirt and stone and other materials, but it was always important to start the day off right.

After her skincare was complete, she went to her kitchen and made a smoothie and ate cookies while she waited for the smoothie to finish blending. Luckily, her neighbors were also morning people, so she didn’t feel so bad about the noise. She made enough for three people, to deliver to them before they all started their days.

——

Impulse’s redstone alarm clock went off right as the sun rose. He grumbled, slapping at it so it would stop with the noise. He pulled himself out of bed, because he’d read that was the best way to wake up. He pulled his hair up and put on some basic workout clothes. The walk through the nether was always strangely invigorating, and by the time he got to spawn, he was fully awake. He sighed and began his jog around spawn town.

Coming back to the dwarven keep, Impulse showered and made himself presentable. He brewed some coffee and grabbed his book (“a cup full of hot sexy redstone” by bdubs [a how-to pretty redstone that so far read like it had been a caffeine-fueled fever dream]), heading outside. He nestled himself by the feet of one of his statues and began to read as the sun started to warm the ground.

——

“Oh fuck is that the fucking sun?” Pearl peered out of a window at the sunrise. “Oh no, not again!” She ran her fingers through her hair, which only succeeded in making her hair even more crazy looking.

“Meow.” Nugget told her.

“Yeah, uh, I didn’t realize how late it was either.” Pearl sighed, suddenly very aware of how tired her eyes were. “Please don’t tell me I have stuff to do today.” She checked her calendar and groaned. “Oh no, how did I forget about Zed’s zedvancement challenge today? Hopefully he’ll be so hyped up on whatever keeps him going he won’t notice how tired I am.”

There was a magnificent glass-shattering sound that really described what Pearl was going through, and frankly she hardly noticed it, as she was making a weird noise of anguish at the same time.

“Right. Okay. Desperate times call for desperate measures. Energy potion.” Pearl pulled a glass bottle from behind the couch, where she had left it the last time she’d stayed up too late (three days ago) and chugged it.

——

“Hey Impulse!” Gem dropped down in front of Impulse, holding bottles. “Smoothie time!” She held one of them out to him.

“Oh thank you!” Impulse smiled and took the smoothie eagerly.

“And yes there’s protein powder in it.” Gem added, to which Impulse chuckled. She picked up his book. “How is this anyway?”

“Good?” Impulse said, taking a sip of the smoothie. “I’m pretty sure Bdubs is currently explaining quantum physics, but it’s all wrong. Like, so wrong it’s almost right.”

“That describes my life.” Pearl touched down on the grass next to her friends.

“Pearlo!” Gem held out a smoothie to her. “How did you sleep?”

“Oh, so well. Great. Wonderful. Like a baby, that’s how I slept.” Pearl took a sip of smoothie to shut herself up.

“That’s good Pearl.” Impulse said in earnest.

Gem rolled her eyes. “Let me guess, you stayed up all night again.”

“…no.”

“Pearl…”

Pearl took off without another word, smoothie in hand.

“Well, I guess that means I should start my day too.” Impulse closed his book and stood up, stretching. “Thanks for the smoothie!” He ruffled her hair, which she protested, and walked back inside. Gem flew back up to her buildings on the top of the mountain and sighed in contentment. Time to get to work.

#July 28 2022 #fic #hc9 #soup group #geminitay #impulsesv #Pearlescentmoon #long post

205 notes · View notes

somnambulants · 3 years ago

Note

hi!! i was just wondering if i could request more yelena where yelena introduces her gf to natasha and her family and she’s uncharacteristically nervous so nat finds it amusing? thank you :)

a bit of minor surgery

summary: Yelena tries to keep you to herself but her family has other ideas word count: 1.7K notes: so this is a little different to what you asked for but i hope you still like it! for the sake of this, nat, yelena, alexei and melina are just one happy family

“But if we –"

Natasha holds up a hand and Yelena stops talking. “Do you hear that?”

It’s faint but there’s the sound of someone moving around on her apartment floor. Being the only person who lives on this floor and one of the few in this building is enough for this to raise the hairs on the back of her neck.

Survival for them has always meant constant vigilance.

Both of their heads swivel towards the front door as the footsteps become louder, very clearly approaching her apartment.

Yelena doesn’t have to look to know Natasha is mirroring her, pulling out her gun and scanning every entry-way for possible intruders.

On edge, Yelena presses herself against the door, readying herself until she listens properly and realises the approaching footsteps sound familiar.

Somehow, she feels herself relax and become even more tense at the same time.

“Stop,” she says as Natasha moves towards the door as well, holding an arm out to stop her. “It’s okay. I know who it is.”

At her words Natasha relaxes, putting her gun away but she watches her face carefully as she does so.

The panic Yelena can feel building inside her must not be as well hidden as she thought because a slow grin spreads across her face as the sound of a gentle knock echoes through Yelena’s apartment.

“Is it..?”

“Yes,” Yelena replies curtly. “And no. You can’t meet them.”

Natasha gives her a wicked look, clicking her teeth together teasingly. “What? Scared I’ll…eat them?”

She snickers as Yelena reaches out and shoves her hard enough to knock the air out of her while also giving her a firm and clear: im going to kill you if you don't listen to me look as she goes to open the door.

Not that it's ever stopped Natasha before.

“Just stay there,” Yelena hisses and then wrenches the door open, finding you behind it with your hand still mid-air, prepared to knock a second time.

“Y/N!”

“Hi,” you say, looking a little startled but smiling at her none the less as you drop your hand.

Beside her and thankfully, just out of your view, Natasha, to her credit, is silent but Yelena can feel her gaze glued to her face and can especially feel the amusement radiating off her in waves.

She grits her teeth, forcing a smile. Your own fades a little as you take her in. “Is this a bad time?”

“No,” Yelena says quickly. Still out of sight, Natasha lets out a huff of laughter just quiet enough that she hopes she’s the only one that hears her.

“Not at all,” she adds, and since the door covers most of her body, it’s safe for her to reach out and pinch Natasha on the arm. Which is what she does. Hard. “Just --give me a second?”

Clearly still puzzled, you nod and Yelena closes the door, giving you a smile that she has a feeling looks more like a grimace.

Next she grabs Natasha by the arm and starts walking her forcibly towards the window. “Out.”

Natasha raises an eyebrow as she pulls them to an abrupt stop, looking at her then looking out the window. “You seriously want me to scale ten stories because you’re an idiot?”

As an answer, Yelena unlocks the latch and lets the window sweep open, giving her a pointed look that says: Yes. Obviously.

Natasha rolls her eyes but to Yelena’s relief, she slides out the window.

“неудачник,” is all she says in parting before she disappears, dropping down the stairwell and vanishing from sight completely.

The word lingers in the air after her: Loser.

Yelena scowls after her for a second before she rushes back to the door and opens it, letting out a sigh of relief when she sees you’re still there, standing in the same spot.

“Sorry,” she apologises, swinging the door open. “There was just a uh, complication....a spider. I caught it and put it outside. I know you hate them.”

As she speaks, you slowly raise one eyebrow at her. The other quickly follows and it's then that she notices the narrowed look in your eyes.

When you start speaking, your voice is low and scarily calm. “So it has nothing to do with the woman I just made eye contact with as she was climbing down your fire escape?”

Something Yelena is proud to say is that in her life there have been very few times she’s been at a loss for words.

This however is one of them.

She stares at you, blankly, knowing her panic must be showing on her face by the way your expression progressively becomes darker and darker as seconds pass and she fumbles frantically for something to say.

“I, uh, she is, she, uh –”

“—Natasha Romanoff. Nice to meet you.”

To her credit, Natasha has always been the stealthier of the two of them. Ignoring that fact, Yelena chooses to believe that her being distracted by you is why she doesn’t hear her coming back up the stairwell.

She also chooses to believe that she didn’t visibly jump at the sound of her voice and that the cough Natasha lets out is genuine and not covering up a laugh that says she’s going to mock her mercilessly for this entire thing later.

Of course, Yelena can’t fool herself but she tries anyway.

You look even more unimpressed as Natasha comes to a stop beside her and it clicks in Yelena’s head that you think her and Natasha – her and Natasha. She can’t even finish the thought.

As funny as it is, she doesn’t let herself laugh, knowing instinctively that it’s not a good idea. The flinty look in your eyes just confirms how much of a not good idea that is.

Just because you weren’t raised like her doesn’t mean that you couldn’t pack a punch; something she learned early on in your relationship when she’d accidentally snuck up on you once. She’d had a black eye for weeks after that.

“Natasha is my --” she isn’t sure how to say: ‘this is the woman I was trained to kill people with while we grew up being tortured and experimented on, remember I told you?’ In a way that won’t make you go running for the hills.

As she trails off, Natasha, sensing her panic, jumps in. Yelena knows that internally, she must be laughing hysterically though to her merit, she keeps it to herself. “I’m her… sister. Of sorts.”

You know about her past – all of what she was willing to repeat of it anyway – so comprehension quickly dawns on your face.

“Then why…?”

She watches as Natasha’s mouth twitches, sounding amused as she directly addresses you: “Well... my sister is an idiot. I’m sure you’ve noticed.”

Yelena tenses as you give her a once over, raking your eyes over her consideringly, before you turn back to Natasha. “I may have noticed that. Yes.”

"Hey," Yelena protests, weakly. "That's not fair."

You give her a pointed look and she falls silent. Resigned to her fate, she lets out a sigh.

She can tell from the matching scheming looks brewing in both your own and Natasha’s eyes that this is only going to be the start of her own personal torment.

The one thing she really, really hates about her family is that they have this habit of showing up unannounced – you’d think that the whole being assassins and consequently, a little trigger happy as a result would make someone call ahead but no.

Never.

For this reason, it comes as no surprise when there’s the familiar three tap repetitive secret knock knock knock they had all come up with years ago on her front door early the following morning.

Silently, Yelena prays you don’t hear it and stay asleep as she drags herself out of bed and prepares herself for what she’s about to deal with.

Truthfully, she’s a little surprised that they’d had enough tact to wait until morning. She’d half expected them to be knocking her door down the second Natasha relayed last nights events to them.

Yanking the door open, she comes face-to-face with Alexei and Melina. Taking them both in and cataloguing mentally that they look alive and uninjured, she lets herself glare at both of them.

“Is something wrong?”

They both frown. “No?”

“Okay I’m closing the door then.”

She starts to swing it shut but it’s quickly caught as Alexei shoves a foot in between it and the doorframe, giving her a reproachful look.

“Is your –”

“Yes,” Yelena interrupts, scowling harder than before, if that was even possible. “Now, leave.”

The look on Alexei’s face shifts, now suddenly a little too much on the wrong side of sneaky. “Can we—”

“No.”

“But–"

“I don’t care. You can’t meet them,” she barks, probably too loudly, as she shoves him back out into the hallway. If she has to throw them bodily out of here, she will. It just would likely attract your attention, which is the opposite of what she wants. “They’re asleep.”

“We can wake them,” he suggests, unhelpfully.

Yelena glares at him harder. “No.”

It’s faint but all of a sudden, she can hear the sound of a door squeaking as it opens. Her bedroom door to be more exact. Your voice calling out to her quickly follows.

“Okay,” she says. “I’m closing the door now.”

“Hey, no wait –” Alexei starts to protest. Yelena closes the door firmly in their faces and is working on dead-bolting it just as you appear in her line of sight.

You blink at her blearily, wearing just one of her T-shirts and nothing else. Thank god she hadn’t let them in. “Who was that?”

“Neighbours,” Yelena lies. “Looking for their …cat.”

Still half asleep, you don’t think to question her and she sags against the door in relief as you venture into the kitchen in search of coffee.

To her relief, there are no subsequent persistent knocks or calls through the door and after a second, she can hear the quiet sound of footsteps and Alexei’s grumbling as they retreat.

Natasha is one thing – their parents or pseudo-parents or whatever they are – are another thing entirely. She’d save that one for another day.

Or never, preferably.

#yelena belova x reader

1K notes · View notes

capsironunderoos · 3 years ago

Text

Nap, Interrupted

Sergeant Hunter x Reader

Summary: Hunter retires to his room for his usual nap, but is surprised to see you already in his bed.

Word Count: 1,595

Warnings: None!

Author’s Note: This definitely takes place in a timeline where they rescue Omega and Crosshair isn’t being used by the Empire. I hope you enjoy!

Here’s a link to my masterlist: capsironunderoos masterlist

“And just what do you think you’re doing?”

You heard from the doorway of Hunter’s room onboard the Havoc Marauder and you jumped, almost dropping the datapad you held above your head onto your face.

The lights were clicked on without warning, and you flinched again, eyes squeezing shut as you finally dropped the datapad onto the bed beside you. Keeping your eyes closed, you let out a playful groan, draping your arm across your forehead as if you were in distress before letting out another groan.

“You’re getting good at that. Keep it up and you can take it on the road, charge good money for a show.”

You laughed quietly as you moved your arms and opened your eyes, shifting to sit up and against the wall behind Hunter’s bed.

You finally looked over to the doorway, smiling at Hunter as he leaned against the frame, arms crossed over his chest and dressed in his blacks. It was obvious that he had come to his room to get some much needed rest as the Havoc Marauder travelled through hyperspace, but it was less obvious that he was surprised to find you, not only in his room, but in his bed.

Hunter was good at many things, but hiding his emotions was at the top of that list.

After a brief moment of the two of you staring at each other in silence, he smiled and moved away from the door frame, allowing the door to close with a soft whoosh. He clicked the lights back off as you reached over to turn on the lamp on the nightstand, and as you returned to your spot he stopped at the foot of his bed.

“Wrecker was looking for you.” He offered, and you nodded, still not offering an answer to his earlier question.

“Okay kid seriously. What are you doing in here?”

It was an honest question, a good question, with multiple answers that each held their own repercussions.

“Umm…” You started, hands idly lacing and unlacing themselves together in your lap. Hunter smiled and laughed softly as he moved again, this time to sit on the edge of the bed.

“Well, your room is the furthest away from everyone else’s on the ship,” you started, and Hunter nodded, arms crossing over his chest and his eyebrows furrowing.

He looked like he was conducting an investigation into something much more serious than finding you in his bed, with his back straight and arms crossed, mouth set in a serious line.

But maybe finding you in his bed was serious, if the longing glances on missions and soft touches as wounds were cared for were any indication to the answer for his questions.

“I’m aware. S’why I picked it.” He countered, and you nodded.

“And I needed some place quiet to read over the notes for my mission report.” He considered this briefly, and you could see him thinking it over.

“Could have done that in your nook.”

The boys knew how much you coveted quiet time, and had cleaned out a random supply closet for you to use as a work area.

You considered his answer as well before countering with: “Tech was already in it.”

Unfortunately, the boys also sought out any chance for a moment of peace and silence to work, and you were rarely able to actually use the nook they had created for you.

Another beat of silence passed.

“Still not a good answer,” Hunter prodded once more, and you sighed loudly again.

“Oh here we go,” he mumbled, eyes rolling playfully as he uncrossed his arms to lean back on them, still sitting at the foot of the bed.

“Fine, fine. I know this is right around the time you like to take naps on the days we can afford to do so, and I’m sure you’ve noticed but I haven’t been sleeping very well lately. So I was hoping that sleeping with you would solve that problem.” You rushed out the last part of your explanation in a whisper, but Hunter heard it all the same.

“I have noticed. Was actually getting worried about you.” Hunter offered in response to your declaration, and you felt your heart rate pick up.

There was something between you and Hunter, you weren’t blind to it and the effects it had on the both of you, but it was never addressed, left to fleeting glances and lingering touches, and one stolen kiss when you’d challenged Wrecker to a drinking game.

Again, these instances were left untouched, small memories that harbored large pieces of your daily thought process.

You were pulled from your thoughts when you felt the bed shifting, watching as Hunter moved to sit next to you, grabbing the datapad and placing it on the nightstand beside his bed, turning off the lamp there and enveloping the room in a deep blue darkness, save for the small light emitting from blue stars speeding by outside the window.

He lifted up the covers and slid down onto his pillow, which you were partially resting against. You looked down at him, frozen in place as you waited to follow his lead.

You felt electric having him so close, feeling his arm brushing against your leg as he got comfortable. When he finally stilled, he let out a quick laugh before looking up at you.

“Are you gonna nap or what?” His words jerked you into action, and you were scrambling to get under the covers, as if you were an excited loth cat who couldn’t quite sit still.

“Maker,” Hunter huffed as you finally settled, a face-splitting grin that he couldn’t see resting on your lips. You felt the bed shift once more, and froze completely when you felt his right arm wrap around your waist before pulling you to him. He was warm, and he smelled clean, as if he’d just had his turn in the refresher.

“Is this-”

“Yes,” you cut him off before he could finish the question, and he let out a breath of air that you took as a laugh.

It was your turn to surprise him now, and you turned in his grasp to face his chest before planting a small kiss to the area where his shirt met the skin of his neck.

His breathing faltered for a second, his chest freezing as you moved your head to rest in the crook of his left shoulder.

A moment passed before you felt his warm lips against your forehead. The kiss lingered, and you felt his right arm moving from your waist to grab your chin and tilt it up to look at him.

He kissed your nose this time, a quick peck that made you giggle.

You both spent another moment quietly staring into each other’s eyes, his hand still grasping your chin, your hands enclosed between the two of you, resting against his chest.

You nodded slowly, urging him to do what you both wanted to, what you’d wanted to do since you’d met him, since he’d met you.

His eyes darted to your lips before looking into your own once more, and you let out a small groan as your patience began to wear thin. He smirked and pulled your chin closer to him, his lips meeting yours, finally.

They ghosted over your own, not fully meeting as he peppered feather-light kisses to your lips. An ache settled in your stomach and it took everything in you to restrain yourself from kissing him with everything in you, from straddling him and finally having your way with him.

He continued to press small kisses to your lips as you felt his legs tangle with your own, and just as you were taking matters into your own hands, the door to his room opened with a whoosh, and the two of you froze. Hunter slowly pulled the blankets up, trying unsuccessfully to hide you from the intruder.

“Hunter! I’ve been looking for- oh. Nevermind.” Omega stood in the doorway now, adorned in one of Wrecker’s shirts, which stopped at her ankles.

“For me?” You called, and she nodded, her cheeks turning a sweet shade of red. You laughed quietly and beckoned for her to enter.

“I won’t tell anyone okay? I mean, it’s pretty obvious how you two feel about each other anyways, but I won’t tell the others.” She started to ramble and you and Hunter shared a warm look of fondness before you sat up, opening your arms in her direction.

She stopped as she saw the movement, analyzing the gesture.

“C’mon kiddo, offers not gonna last forever,” you teased, and she didn’t hesitate to crawl onto the bed and into your arms.

She was attached to each of the boys in her own way, but when it came to you, she was always by your side, never far from you, never long without you. You had teased her one time, calling her your shadow for an entire day.

You slid back under the covers with her in your arms as she wrapped her own around your torso, her head coming to rest on your chest.

When you had settled and stilled, Hunter caught your eye and you both shared a small smile before he was moving too, wrapping his arms around the both of you and pulling you into him. Your legs tangled with his, and you sighed as an overwhelming feeling of contentment washed over you.

Silence filled the room before Hunter spoke in a whisper: “No one mention this to Cross.”

#hunter x reader #the bad batch #the bad batch x reader #sergeant hunter #sergeant hunter x reader #omega #star wars x reader #star wars #em writes

977 notes · View notes

the-bau-quinjet · 4 years ago

Text

Plum Cobbler

Steve x Barnes!reader, Bucky x platonic!reader

Summary: What happens when Steve confronts the woman who's been sitting outside the compound every Saturday for a month?

Warnings: mentions parental death, some cursing

Word Count: 6315

a/n: This really took on a mind of its own. I was going to make it a series, but I feel like this is the whole story.

Masterlist

Nervous didn't even begin to describe how you were feeling. Sitting in your car, just outside of the entrance gate to the Avenger's compound was never somewhere you thought you'd be. Not until two months ago, when you found your grandmas old scrapbooks.

Of course, you don't know how to get inside. Honestly, you should have seen this coming. Why would just anyone be able to walk up to their door?

"Who are you?" The sudden question startled you, causing you to jump and hit your head on the roof of your car. You turned to look at the source of the voice, shrinking under her watchful gaze.

The one and only Natasha Romanoff was standing outside your car, glaring at you as if she was ready to drop everything to take you out.

"Oh, um. My name is Y/N L/N. I just wanted to talk to Bucky..." Her glare only grew stronger as you revealed why you were there.

"Barnes doesn't talk to strangers." Before you could explain why, she was gone. You watched her walk into the compound until she wasn't in your view anymore.

"Well, that went horribly." You mumbled to yourself. Now what? Should you just sit there until someone else comes out? Will anyone come out?

"So who is she?" Clint asked as soon as Nat got back inside.

"Why is she here?" Sam added on.

"Said her name is Y/N L/N, and she wants to talk to Bucky." Nat rolled her eyes.

"Friday, run a background check on F/N L/N." Tony asked of the AI. "What? You can never be too careful, and people shouldn't know how to get here." He explained given the questioning looks from the rest of the group.

"Y/N L/N, 27, daughter of the deceased Kathleen and Grant L/N. She owns a bookstore in Brooklyn, passed down through her family. No criminal record." Friday responded quickly.

"Sounds normal enough, probably a fan?" Tony suggested, looking around the room.

"A persistent one. She's been here for hours." Steve looked out the window, still seeing your car just outside the gate. "How did she find the entrance?"

Everyone shared similar looks, unsure how a seemingly normal civilian found the gate.

"Excellent question, Capsicle. Friday, got any ideas?" Tony, as usual, turned to the AI for answers.

"Based on GPS data from her car, she drove around upstate New York for eight hours every Saturday for the last 6 weeks until she came across the side road leading to the compound."

"Either she's really good at looking normal, or she's just normal." Nat added on, still slightly suspicious.

"Well, she just left. I guess we're not getting any answers today." Steve said from his position still looking out the window.

You came back every Saturday for a month. You didn't know if anything would come of it, but you'd be damned if you didn't try. After your parent's deaths, you thought you had no family left. Finding out you were related to Bucky gave you a lifeline. Something to cling to when you felt alone.

So far, nobody else had come to talk to you. You didn't even know if Bucky knew you were there for him.

The fifth Saturday, you pulled your car up to the gate at 9 am, sticking to your makeshift schedule of waiting outside for the entire day. They had to at least be curious as to why you kept coming back.

Unfortunately for you, the weather upstate today was not the same as the weather in Brooklyn.

Around 10:30, it started to rain. Just a sprinkling, nothing you couldn't handle.

You listened to music, read, ate the lunch you packed, played games on your phone, anything to pass the time. You weren't going to force your way inside, but you were definitely going to show that you were interested.

Typically, you would leave at 5:30. It gave you enough time to drive home and heat up dinner, plus you had to check in on your cat.

Today, however, was a different story. Around 5:15, it started pouring. Sheets of water were coming down around you, completely cutting off any visibility through the windshield.

You figured you'd just wait out the rain, but when it didn't let up by 6, you were getting nervous.

"She's still here." Steve walked into the kitchen, announcing his news to the room.

"I'm not surprised. It's not exactly peak driving conditions out there." Sam easily responded, glancing out the window.

"Aren't you the least bit curious as to why?" Steve asked again, pushing the same conversation as always.

Nearly everyone in the room rolled their eyes, sick of repeating the same things.

"Look, we figured if we ignored her, she'd eventually stop. Clearly, that might not be working. If you're so curious, feel free to go ask her." Tony gave in, eager to move on from the discussion of you.

Steve contemplated his choices for all of 2 seconds before grabbing an umbrella and walking down the driveway.

You had your head leaned back against the headrest, eyes closed, listening to the rain. Of course you would get stuck here. Why didn't you ever check the weather?

You shrieked when a knock sounded on your passenger side window, not having expected anyone, especially in the rain.

Mr. America himself pointed to the door, gesturing for you to unlock it. You sat up quickly, rushing to hit the unlock button.

He quickly opened the door, shutting his umbrella and lowering himself into the small car.

You were utterly speechless. After your brief encounter with Natasha, you didn't really expect anyone to come talk to you.

Sure, you came back every week, but it was more so to fill the lonely hours you would have normally spent with your parents at the bookstore.

You had other employees to run the shop on Saturdays, allowing you to come here instead.

"Why are you here?" He sounded more curious than anything. Clearly he didn't perceive you as a threat, which was good because you had zero fighting experience.

"To talk to Bucky." Your voice was quiet, unsure how much you should share.

"I know that. Why?" He had fully turned in his seat to look at you, his large frame filling nearly the entire car.

"Well, I found something a few months ago that I thought he should know." You stuttered through your response, mildly intimidated by the man in front of you.

"And that something is?" He questioned further, genuinely curious as to what you want to tell his best friend.

You hesitated, eyes flitting around the car, looking at anything but him. He sighed and ran his hand through his hair before speaking again.

"Look, if you ever want to actually talk to him, you should tell me. Buck's been through hell, he won't just talk to anyone. Especially if he has no reason to."

During your conversation, the rain finally let up. You decided to take that as a sign.

"Can I show you something?" You finally looked him in the eye, nearly forgetting why you were even here at the sight of his bright blue eyes.

"Is it the reason you've been out here every Saturday for over a month?" He joked with you, helping to calm your nerves.

You nodded in response, unsure if you could even speak while still looking into his eyes.

"Then please."

You tore your eyes from his face, throwing the car into reverse and backing out of the spot you've claimed as your own. You turned around, heading back to your apartment in Brooklyn.

"Wha- where are we going?" He's clearly surprised by your actions, but he doesn't seem worried.

"I'm going to show you what I found, and hopefully you'll let me talk to Bucky." You paused for a minute, thinking. "Although, really I guess it should be his choice. Maybe you can just give him a message for me, and if he doesn't want to talk I'll leave you all alone."

The idea of never getting to know Bucky, you're only remaining family, hurts, but it's got to be his decision.

Steve just nods in response, still slightly wary of your reasons for wanting to talk to Bucky.

When you're a few minutes away from your apartment, you decide to give him some context.

"You probably already know a lot about me, but let me explain a few things." He silently nods, encouraging you to continue.

"My parents died three and a half months ago." You immediately felt like crying, but did your best to hold it in. Of course, Steve didn't miss the break in your voice. "It was a car accident. The weather was bad. They lost control of the car. They were both pronounced dead on the scene." You parked the car, turning slightly to look at him.

"They were the only family I've ever had, and the were both just gone." You turned and opened the car door, taking a moment to wipe the tears from your eyes. You gestured for him to follow you, locking the car and heading inside your apartment building.

"We were really close. I spent every Saturday at the bookstore with them." You wiped the tears again as the elevator doors closed.

You didn't chance looking at Steve, knowing you would break down at the look of pity.

"I had to go through the stuff at their house. You know, decide what to bring here, what to put in storage, what to get rid of. I found some old scrapbooks, I think from my great grandma."

You lead him into your apartment, locking the door and immediately heading to the kitchen to feed your cat. After you set down the food, you moved to the couch. You had the scrapbooks on the coffee table, having taken every opportunity to look through them.

"I never knew her. My parents didn't talk about her either, I'm not sure if they knew who she was. Her name was Rebecca." You waited a beat, to see if he would understand. When he remained quiet, you handed him one of the books, open to a page with a picture of Steve, Bucky, and Rebecca. "Rebecca Barnes."

You waited again, letting the information sink in for him. After a few minutes he smiled.

"I remember this day." He looked at you, a wide smile on his face. "It was a few days before Bucky was enrolled. We had a picnic." He continued to reminisce, looking through the other pictures in the scrapbook.

"Maybe it's selfish, maybe he won't want to know me, but when I found out I had more family, I wanted to find him." Again, tears pooled in your eyes. "I, I just don't want to be alone."

Steve's smile faltered as he realized what you've been going through, and how you've been doing it alone.

"Hey, I'm sure he'll want to talk to you." He reached out to place a hand on your arm, trying to comfort you.

"Really?" Your eyes were still watery, but a small smile grew on your face.

"I think so. Bucky was really close with his sister when we were young." This time, Steve's eyes grew watery, memories of his youth playing through his mind.

You couldn't take the sight of him being sad, so you pulled him into a hug. He came willingly, letting you bury your face in his chest. He lowered his head so it was overtop of yours, relishing in the comfort of your hug.

You pulled away a few minutes later, not wanting to overstep, but the feeling of his arms around your waist didn't let you go far.

"Thank you for coming out to my car." You laughed, trying to lighten the mood. His face was so close to yours, you could make out the individual shades of blue in his eyes.

"Thank you for sharing your story with me." He whispered back, not wanting to break the moment.

You're not sure how long you would've stayed like that, but a loud crack of thunder jolted you apart.

"What the-" You mumbled, walking over to the window to look outside. Steve followed close behind you, also curious about the weather.

It was now pouring, lightning and thunder cracking overhead.

"I guess the storm followed us to Brooklyn." He joked, rubbing the back of his neck.

"I guess so." You looked at the clock, taking in the late hour.

Steve must've followed your line of sight, because he spoke up. "It's getting late, I should probably go."

You immediately shook your head, your fear of travelling in bad weather shining through. "I can't let you leave when it's like this. It's not safe. You, um, you can stay here tonight. You can sleep in my room. I'll sleep on the couch." You grew more confident as you kept talking.

"I couldn't impose like that." Steve shook his head, not wanting to make you uncomfortable.

"Steve, it's not safe to travel when it's raining like that. I would never forgive myself if something happened to you." Your voice grew tighter, trying not to flashback to the day your parents died.

Steve seemed to realize why you were so worried about the weather, ultimately deciding to agree to stay so you wouldn't worry about him.

"Okay, okay. I'll stay here, but you sleep in your bed. I'll be fine on the couch." He refused your offer, not wanting to force you to spend a night on the couch.

"First of all, thank you. Second of all, you are sleeping in the bed. You're like two feet taller than me." You exaggerated your height difference, but you were trying to make a point. "You won't even be able to lay down on the couch. I take naps here all the time, it's super comfortable." You argued back, unwilling to allow Captain America himself sleep on your tiny ass couch.

"You know, I should've expected you to be this stubborn. You spent five weeks waiting outside the compound with no contact. Plus you're related to Bucky" He laughed to himself, slightly shaking his head. "Fine, I'll sleep in the bed."

You smiled victoriously, jumping up from the couch. "Yay! Do you need anything? I have spare toothbrushes under the sink, and I can probably find you some clothes to sleep in. There's some snacks in the kitchen if you get hungry. Oh! And Carrot might try to lay in the bed with you, but I'll try to keep her out here." You rambled, trying to make sure he was comfortable.

"Carrot?" He smiled at your rambling, finding it adorable.

"Yes! Carrot is my cat. She's a cuddler, so consider yourself warned." You paused, eyes growing wide. "You're not allergic to cats are you? I think there's probably cat fur all over my room."

He laughed again. "No, I don't think the super soldier serum left any room for allergies." He quipped.

You smacked a hand to your forehead. "Duh! Anyway, do you need anything?" You asked again, trying to calm your beating heart.

"Some clothes would be great, thank you." The way he smiled at you did nothing to soothe your nerves.

"Okay." You breathed out, finally taking a deep breath. "I'll go grab some, the bathroom is right here if you need it." You pointed it out on your way to your room. "I'm just gonna get changed real quick, and then I'll be back with your clothes."

He nodded again, watching as you turned and walked into what must be your room.

You quickly changed into a t-shirt and sleep shorts. It took a few minutes of searching through boxes, but eventually you found an old pair of pajama pants and a t-shirt for Steve to sleep in.

You made your way out of the bedroom, handing him the clothes.

"Here ya go. Like I said, there are extra toothbrushes under the sink in the bathroom, and don't hesitate to grab anything you need from the kitchen."

He eyed the clothes in his hands, wondering where they came from, but not wanting to ask.

Luckily for him, you could tell what he was wondering. "They were my dad's." A sad smile graced your face. "I- I sleep in them sometimes when I really wish I could talk to him."

"Thank you." Steve turned to go to bed, but changed his mind last minute. He set the clothes down on the couch, pulling you into another hug. "You know, I can tell your related to Buck. He always looks out for people too."

You blushed at the compliment, grateful he couldn't see your face. "Thank you, that really means a lot." You stayed like that until Steve pulled back to talk to you again.

"I can take you back to the compound tomorrow, if you want. Maybe introduce you to Bucky."

"Really?! You don't want to talk to him first? Or double check anything I told you?" You were shocked at how willing he was to introduce you to Bucky.

"I trust you. Plus, I think you should be the one to tell him." Steve didn't say it out loud, but he also thought you and Bucky would be good for each other.

Bucky had Steve to connect his past and present, but another person for him to rely on wouldn't hurt. And you clearly were looking for a family connection.

"I would love to. Thank you!" You hugged him again, although quicker this time. You jumped back, excited to collect everything you wanted to show him. "I have to find all the scrapbooks to show him!"

When you turned to start collecting things, Steve put a hand on your shoulder, essentially preventing you from moving.

"Why don't we get everything together in the morning? It's getting late and you should get some sleep." He understood how emotionally and physically draining it could be to relive a loss like yours.

"You're right. I should sleep." You tried to slow your mind down, but the prospect of meeting Bucky tomorrow filled you with a mix of excitement and nerves. You gathered your extra blankets and pillows, setting up a bed for yourself on the couch while he went into the bathroom.

You were snuggled in bed, ready to sleep when he came back out.

"Goodnight, Steve."

His heart contracted at how adorable you looked buried in blankets on the couch, but he did his best to ignore it. He'd only just met you after all.

"Goodnight, Y/N."

The next morning Steve woke up at 5, per usual. He didn't want to wake you up though, so, despite his natural tendencies to run 10 miles every Sunday morning, he stayed in bed.

That is, until he heard you shuffling around the apartment.

He poked his head out of the room first, trying to verify that you were indeed awake. When he saw you in the kitchen, he fully emerged intent on helping you with whatever you were doing.

"Good morning, you're an early riser?" His question was completely ignored. Granted you couldn't see him yet, but he didn't know why you would be ignoring him.

He made his way closer to you, tapping you on the shoulder to try and get you to interact with him.

You, in a mixture of surprise and fear, turned and threw an egg at him.

He looked at you in shock, while you stared in horror at what you had just done.

You took headphones out of your ears, explaining why you hadn't heard his question.

"Oh my god! I'm so sorry!" You reached toward him with a dish towel, trying to wipe the egg off his (your dad's) shirt. "You just surprised me! I can get you another shirt!"

"It's fine, don't worry-" You ran out of the room anyway, grabbing another shirt of your dad's from the box in your room.

He couldn't help but laugh, oddly relieved that you weren't ignoring him.

When you reentered the kitchen, a shirtless Steve Rogers was washing your dad's shirt in the sink. You froze, taking in the sight of the man before you.

When he turned back around, your eyes took on a mind of their own, soaking in his toned chest and arms. You cleared your throat, shaking yourself out of your stupor to hand him the other shirt.

"Thanks." He smirked, but still blushed slightly before he put it on, ringing out the other shirt before handing it to you. "I didn't want the egg to stick to it since it was your dads, so i rinsed it off..." he trailed off, unsure if it was the right thing to say.

"That's really sweet, thank you. Especially because it was my fault there was even egg on it in the first place." You laughed, trying not to blush with embarrassment.

"Don't worry about it, really. I shouldn't have snuck up on you." He laughed as well, clearing any lingering tension. He took a look around the kitchen, taking in just how much stuff you had out.

"What are you making?" He smiled when you blushed again.

"Oh, I was making plum cobbler... I just, I read online that Bucky likes plums, so I thought I would bring him a cobbler." You blushed again, embarrassed by the admission.

"He does." Steve smiled, completely enamoured with your personality. "Did you want some help?"

"Actually, the cobblers are in the oven already. I was going to make breakfast next, though, so you can help with that." You smiled, noting how easy it was to spend time with him.

"Cobblers? I know Bucky's a super soldier, but one would have been plenty." He joked with you, moving to help scramble some eggs.

"Well, yeah. One is for him, but then I thought the other Avengers might be there and I didn't want to not have enough so I made three."

"You're too cute." The words slipped out before he could even think about what he was saying.

You blushed again, a frequent occurrence it seems when you're with Steve.

You uttered a quick thanks, trying to change the subject. "Do you always get up this early?"

He chuckled again. "Yeah, typically I don't need much sleep. I usually run in the mornings, try to clear my head."

The two of you fell into easy conversation, moving around each other effortlessly to make eggs, sausage, toast, and smoothies for breakfast.

When you finished eating, you collected the scrapbooks Bucky might want to see. You added his mom's wedding ring, the one your mom wore as well, to the box.

"What's that?" Steve pointed to the box, unsure if his assumption was correct.

You pulled out two scrapbooks, pointing to the near identical pictures of Bucky's mom and your mom after having been proposed to.

"My mom always told me her engagement ring was a family heirloom. I think it was his mom's ring too. I thought he might like to have it. As something to remember her by, ya know?"

You got teary eyed again. Thinking about how much he must miss his family combined with how much you miss your own parents was too much to handle.

You finished gathering everything, putting it all in a box to make for easier transportation. You took the cobblers out of the oven, packing them as well.

With a deep breath, you followed Steve back out to your car, ready to talk to Bucky.

"Where the hell is Steve?" Bucky nearly stormed into the kitchen.

"Whoa, calm down tinman. What's up?" Sam replied casually, pouring cereal into a bowl.

"Where is Steve? I was supposed to run with him this morning, but he wasn't in his room when I went to find him. I don't even like running this early. I literally only do it because it's what he prefers."

Sam laughed, enjoying anything that annoys Bucky. "Dude, chill. He probably just forgot you were going with him."

Tony walked into the kitchen as well, trying to tune out the whines coming from Bucky, but failing.

"That's what I though, but he's always back by now." Bucky huffed, annoyed with Sam for laughing.

"Who?" Tony asked, now slightly intrigued.

"Steve. I haven't seen him since yesterday." Bucky replied as he angrily ate an apple.

"Really?" Tony sounded mildly concerned, immediately alerting Sam and confusing Bucky.

"You don't think?" Sam asked, ignoring Bucky for the time being.

"I don't know!" Tony looked bewildered. "Friday, where is Capsicle?"

"Captain Rogers left yesterday evening with Y/N L/N." The AI easily replied.

"Who?" Bucky questioned the room, never having learned your name.

"You know the woman who's been sitting outside every Saturday?" Bucky nodded to Sam, unsure why he was bringing it up. "Well, Steve went to ask her why she was here last night."

"Nat told me she was just some fan, wanted to see you all." Bucky furrowed his brow, thinking over the new information on Steve's wearabouts.

"Well, yeah that's what we thought. Look, she said she wanted to talk to you specifically." Sam explained, ignoring the pointed glare from Tony.

"What? Why didn't you tell me?" Bucky rose from his chair, annoyed at everyone now. "Now she's got Steve?"

"Relax, Steve can handle himself. She cleared her background check. We really don't have any reason to believe he's in danger." Tony's words were more to convince himself than anyone else. He's the one who said Cap should go check it out if he was so curious.

"Steve's too trusting. What if it was a trap?" Bucky questioned, glaring daggers at the other two men.

Before they could respond, Friday chimed in with more information.

"Captain Rogers just entered the elevator from the parking garage."

"See, he's fine." Tony glared back at Bucky, secretly relieved that Steve was fine.

Bucky just rolled his eyes before leaving, heading for the elevators to yell at Steve for ditching him this morning.

When the elevator doors opened, however, Steve was not alone.

"Hey, punk, why'd you ditch me- Oh. Who are you?" Bucky eyed you suspiciously, looking between you and Steve.

Before Bucky interrupted, Steve was trying to reassure you that everything would work out. He had a hand on your back, rubbing up and down to soothe your nerves.

His other arm was occupied by the box of scrapbooks, or else he probably would have hugged you again.

You were holding a large sheet pan, three pie dishes sitting on top.

Steve was blushing, a surefire sign Bucky had seen something he wasn't supposed to.

"Oh, um. Hi. My name is Y/N L/N." You froze, not thinking you would have to see him so soon. You could see the family resemblance between him, your great grandma, and your mom.

"The car girl." He nodded, trying to piece together the events of last night.

"Yep, that's me." You laughed nervously, unsure of what he already knew.

"Buck, do me a favor? Let us out of the elevator." Steve eyed him, mildly annoyed with the ambush.

Bucky moved to the side, allowing you and Steve to exit the elevator. You followed Steve down the hall to the kitchen, where you put the cobblers on the counter.

Sam and Tony were still there, eating various foods.

"Well, hello there." Tony greeted when he spotted you, intrigued by the development. He looked at Steve for an explanation.

"Y/N made plum cobbler." Steve said instead, moving his hand back to the small of your back.

Bucky's eyes lit up at the mention of plums, enough to momentarily distract him from Steve's actions.

"Oh, right!" You took a cobbler out of the dish, moving toward Bucky. "This one's for you, because I read that you liked plums." You handed him the dish, quickly moving back to the others. "I also made a peach and an apple for everyone else." You smiled at Tony and Sam, unknowingly leaning slightly into Steve.

"Why does he get a special cobbler?" Sam whined, eagerly reaching for the other dishes.

Suddenly, all eyes were on you. Well, except Sam's who were on the peach cobbler.

"Oh, um, well, I was hoping I could talk to you." You looked at Bucky nervously, unsure of how he would respond.

"Anyone who bakes me a plum cobbler can talk to me, Doll." Natasha chose that exact moment to enter the room.

"Who made plum cobbler?" She looked around the room, eyes narrowing in your direction. "How did you get in here?"

"I brought her." Steve smiled at you before walking over to Natasha. He whispered in her ear, just loud enough for her to hear, but nobody else. "She's not a threat to your relationship, trust me."

Nat nodded her head, trusting Steve, although not for the reasons he thought. She could clearly see the blonde's affinity for you.

"So, what did you want to talk about?" Bucky asked between bites of cobbler.

"It's really a private conversation." Steve answered for you, seeing how unsure of yourself you were.

"Then why do you know, punk?" Bucky countered.

"Well, I had to tell someone so I could finally talk to you. Steve's the one who asked." You smiled at Steve again, trying to convey how grateful you were with just a look.

Steve smiled back at you, while everyone in else just shared a knowing look.

Eventually, Steve cleared his throat. "Buck, can you just come with us?"

Bucky nodded, moving to follow Steve while still eating the cobbler. You followed the two of them as well, growing more nervous with each step.

Steve lead you to his room, placing the box of scrapbooks on the bed.

"Do you want me to stay?" Steve looked to you for an answer.

You took a deep breath, in all honestly you would love for him to stay, but you think you should probably just talk to Bucky first.

"No, that's okay. Come back in like, 30 minutes?" You scrunched up your face, unsure if 30 minutes was long enough, but knowing you would need the deadline if you were ever going to explain it all to Bucky.

Steve nodded, squeezing your shoulder as he passed you to leave the room.

"Um," you turned to Bucky, trying to think of where to start. "I don't know what you already know about me, but-"

"Nothing really. Except that you make a delicious plum cobbler." He smiled, helping to ease your nerves. Food really was the way to this man's heart.

"Oh, I guess I'll start where I started when I told Steve." You smiled at the mention of his name, unaware of your own actions. But Bucky noticed.

"My parents died a few months ago." Bucky's eyes went wide, trying to think of what this could have to do with him. "Um, it was a car accident. They both died on the scene." You took a deep breath, trying to push through the sad parts.

"I had to clean out their house, and I found some scrapbooks that lead me to you." You shifted closer to the bed, looking through the scrapbooks you brought.

You pulled out the one with the first picture you showed Steve, opening it and gesturing for Bucky to take it.

He set the cobbler on Steve's nightstand, cautiously reaching for the book. He looked at the picture for a long time before saying anything. And when he did talk, it was a whispered "Becca..."

He ran his fingers over the picture slowly, just staring. A few minutes later, he eagerly flipped the page. He spent a good 10 minutes just looking through all the books you handed him.

"Where did you get these?" He questioned, although not accusingly.

"I found them in my parents house. They were with a bunch of my grandma's stuff that she had from her mom." You wanted to ease him into it.

"So your great grandma..." He trailed off, disbelief clear across his face.

"Was Rebecca Barnes." You finished the sentence for him, nerves clear in your voice.

You weren't sure what to say next, so you waited for him to make the next move.

"So you're my... great-grand niece?" You nodded at his question, still unsure if he was happy with the news. "God, that makes me feel old."

You nearly cackled, surprised by the joke. He smiled when you laughed, glad to have cleared some of the tension.

"Why did you want to find me?" He questioned, the mood turning more serious again.

"Well, I was really close to my parents. They were the only family I had. When I found out you are family too, I just... I knew I needed to at least tell you." You shrugged at the end, unsure if you really answered his question.

"You wanted to tell me so badly that you sat outside the compound every Saturday for five weeks even after being ignored?" He was in shock that anyone would spend that much time and effort just to talk to him. You started panicking immediately.

"I'm so sorry if you didn't want to know! It was selfish of me to force this on you. I can go, if you want. You don't have to talk to me." You started questioning everything. You moved to put the books back in the box when he stopped you.

"Oh, um. I'm sorry, you can keep those. If you want!" Tears were threatening to fall down your cheeks when you remembered the ring. You froze with your hand in the box, not knowing if you'd want to part with it knowing you'd never see Bucky again.

"Y/N..." Something in the way he said your name made you look at him. "I- I'm glad you told me. Really glad. I, uh, I never thought I would have family, well besides Steve. You know what I mean." He ran a hand through his hair, and you noticed the tears in his eyes.

"I don't want you to go. It's just hard for me..." he paused, trying to figure out his emotions. "It's hard to believe that someone would care about me that much."

"Bucky, I don't know you." He frowned at your statement. "But, I would love to get to know you." You smiled at him, trying to be reassuring.

"I'm not so sure you would." His face was hard, staring at the ground.

"Bucky, you aren't a bad person. I mean, sure you've done bad things, but it wasn't your choice. You were forced to do those things. You can't let yourself be defined by them. You're here aren't you?"

"Here?" He questioned.

"Working with the Avengers, I mean. You go on missions to help save people. That's your choice. That's who you are. I would be honored to get to know that person."

You smiled, waiting for him to say something.

"Are you sure?" He still looked unsure.

"God, maybe I get my stubbornness from you." You both laughed at that. "I am 100% sure."

"Wow." He shook his head, still in shock.

A knock sounded on the door before Steve came back in. "Is now a good time?" He asked, still standing in the doorway.

You nodded appreciatively. "Thank you." You pulled him into a hug, needing the emotional support.

"Of course. I'm happy I could help." He rubbed your back, reciprocating the hug. "Did you give him the ring yet?" He asked when you took a step back.

You shook your head, reaching into the box for the last item. "I, um, I thought you might want this." You handed him the box, nerves peaking through again.

He opened it, a soft smile on his face when he recognized it. "My mom's engagement ring."

You smiled, happy that he recognized it. "It was my mom's as well."

The two of you stared a the ring for awhile, reminiscing on time spent with your parents.

Eventually, Bucky picked the cobbler back up, not wanting to let it go to waste.

Steve couldn't help but roll his eyes at his friend. "Wow, jerk. You're just gonna go back to eating."

"Yes, punk. My great-grand niece made me a plum cobbler, and I tend to fully enjoy it."

"Great-grand niece. Ha, that makes you sound so old."

It was fun for you to see the two interacting like this, especially after the emotional hurdles you just ran.

"It's fine, Stevie. Let him enjoy the cobbler." Your face went red, not having meant to use the nickname.

"Yeah Stevie, let me enjoy the cobbler." Bucky couldn't help but poke fun, knowing there was an unspoken attraction between the two of you.

Somehow your face got even redder. Steve just rolled his eyes.

"Fine, eat your cobbler. Only because I had some of the apple one and it was delicious. It would be a shame to waste any."

You smiled at the compliment, embarrassment subsiding a bit. Steve sat down on the bed between you and Bucky, eager to ask his friend about some of the pictures. Steve put his arm around you, squeezing your shoulder as he spoke to Bucky.

You felt your eyes growing heavy, exhausted since your nerves kept you up most of the night. You rested your head on Steve's shoulder, soaking in his warmth as you cuddled closer.

Steve just rubbed your arm like it was the most natural thing in the world. Bucky narrowed his eyes at the interaction, realization dawning on his face.

"Oh my god. My best friend likes my great-grand niece. And she likes him." He said it so matter of fact, the two of you didn't bother denying it. You just smiled, and cuddled closer together.

#steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x y/n #steve rogers x you #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky x natasha #bucky barnes x natasha romanoff #tony stark #sam wilson #steve rogers #bucky barnes #marvel fic #clint barton #Bucky Barnes x platonic!reader

644 notes · View notes

tootiredmotel · 3 years ago

Text

Electricity

Inspired by @ledzeppelinmixtape 's emoji prompt: ⛈

Read on ao3 or below / 2.3k words

It's 11pm and storming biblically when Dean and Cas's apartment goes dark.

"Great," Dean mutters under his breath. "Fan-freaking-tastic."

From somewhere else in the apartment, his roommate asks "did the power go out?"

"What do you think, sunshine?" Dean replies sarcastically.

He has a half-written essay in front of him, but he knows his old-ass computer won't last long unplugged, so he saves the document before shutting it off. He leans back in his chair, stretching for the first time in an hour and running a hand down his face. He actually needed a break from the screen, he realizes, feeling his eyes relax as he rubs them.

The steady rain and strong winds outside make an overwhelming white noise track, interrupted only by thunder that goes from faint and distant to deafening in volume. If Dean wasn't stressed out of his mind and completely exhausted right now, he might actually find this kind of nice.

"It's raining cats and mice out there," he hears Cas say, his voice now in the room.

Dean smiles, still rubbing his eyes with the backs of both his hands. "Cats and dogs, Cas."

"Right. Cats and dogs."

It’s really no use correcting him; the entire animal kingdom could be falling from the sky right now and there wouldn't be much of a difference. The winds are definitely knocking things over, and the streets will certainly be flooded come morning. Dean wonders for how long the university will cancel classes after this (if at all, the heartless bloodsuckers).

A particularly loud clap of thunder startles Dean. He drops his hands from his face and opens his eyes, expecting to see pitch black nothingness, but the room is faintly lit by the flashlight Cas is holding as he rummages through their kitchen drawers. He approaches a minute later and sets a candle down on the small table.

"Smart."

"Thank you, Dean," Cas says, sitting down opposite him. Dean smiles again, this time shaking his head.

If anyone ever asked him to mention one thing he likes about Cas, just one, he'd probably say how genuine Cas is, how he takes everything to heart and speaks from it as well. Dean said just one word, smart, a simple comment on the fact that it occurred to Cas to light a candle instead of wasting the battery of their one flashlight, and Cas genuinely thanked him for the compliment. He's just ridiculously cute in his earnestness.

Cas is trying to light the candle now, but their lighter is tricky. Despite living together in that apartment for a year and a half now Cas has never really gotten the hang of it.

"Here, let me."

Dean means to take the lighter from Cas and do it himself, he really does. That is 100% his intention as he reaches across the table. Except he sees an opportunity, and Dean Michael Winchester is nothing if not smooth.

He wraps his hand around Cas's, gently guiding his fingers until they’re placed just right, and the lighter clicks on with ease. Cas meets his eyes, smiling, and Dean can feel the slightest brush of Cas’s thumb against his hand. It’s a small gesture, but clearly deliberate, and it sends Dean’s heart into overdrive. Cas leans away, puts the lighter aside, and starts leafing through a book he brought. Dean’s heart is still racing as he watches him.

Scratch that first thing. If anyone ever asked him what’s one thing he likes about Cas? His hands. God. Neat nails, slightly calloused palms, and overall larger hands than you’d expect. Cas is an environmental science major and he wants to get a Ph.D. in botany, so of course, there’s a small garden on their fire escape. He tends to those plants every day with more gentleness and care than Dean has ever seen, and Dean loves to watch him, even though he has no idea what Cas is doing with them half the time. He just knows that not a single one of their plants have died under Cas’s care. He names them too.

His attentiveness. That’s another thing Dean might say if anyone ever asked. Cas left to visit his sister Anna last winter break. He left Dean in charge of the plants, three of which died inside the week. (For Dean’s birthday a couple of months later, Cas got him a book. How Not to Kill Your Houseplant. Dean keeps it on his nightstand.) Dean went out and bought new ones, but he knew Cas would notice the difference, and he did. He wasn’t mad at Dean though, and he appreciated the effort, and as Dean apologized profusely over and over again, Cas looked at him in the eyes oh-so-softly and told him he was forgiven.

How could Dean possibly forget? If anyone ever asked, he’d say that Cas’s eyes are one of his favorite things about him. One of his favorite things, period. Dean is absolutely mesmerized whenever Cas looks him in the eye, and the guy loves making eye contact, which means that Dean lives in a perpetual smitten daze. He has never seen that shade of blue anywhere else on this earth. Or maybe he just hasn’t been looking, content to get his fill of that blue by staring into Cas’s eyes as much as he gets to on a daily basis.

“Are you alright, Dean?”

Dean blinks himself back to reality. “Hm?”

“You seem… spaced.”

Dean is staring. He’s been staring this whole time. Shit. Crap.

“Yeah, um. Just tired.”

Mr. Smooth, everybody.

“Maybe you should go get some rest. I doubt the power will be back anytime soon.”

Castiel Milton, always looking out for you. It makes Dean melt.

“Yeah, maybe.” I wanna stay here with you, though, he thinks. Instead, because he’s pathetic, he asks “what’re you reading?”

Cas shows him the cover. How Not to Kill Your Houseplant. Dean breaks out in laughter.

“So you’re going into my room and stealing my shit now?”

“Don’t worry, I didn’t touch your Vonneguts.” Cas puts the book aside, an easy smile on his face. “Just wanted something light to pass the time.”

“You done with your homework?”

A soft yawn escapes Cas. “For now.”

“Dude, why not just go to sleep? You look exhausted.”

“Look who’s talking.”

Dean tries to deadpan him. He fails, because around Cas, it’s near impossible for him to not smile.

“Besides, I might be done but you weren’t.”

“And you wanted to keep me company.”

Cas shrugs as if to say I guess, but he does it with a knowing smile. The smile doesn’t falter as he meets Dean’s eyes, and he doesn’t look away when silence settles between them, the only sound being the stormy white noise.

Dean is sure he could drown in that blue and die happy.

Before that train of thought gets away from him again, Dean tears his gaze away and stretches. “We should really go to bed though, I’m not getting any more done tonight,” he says as he stands.

“Of course,” Cas says, but he grabs the book again.

“You not going?”

“I want to finish this chapter.”

The seriousness in his tone makes Dean smile. Again.

“Well, g’night, Cas.”

“Good night, Dean.”

Dean thinks he detects a bit of shakiness in Cas’s voice but decides that he’s probably just tired.

He gets to his room and changes into something comfortable, the first t-shirt and sweatpants he finds as he rummages in the dark. He goes to set his phone on his nightstand and crawl into bed, but in place of the book he keeps there and puts his phone on top of– the book Cas has at the moment– he finds something else.

It’s paper. It’s folded into the form of a book, like one of those youtube craft tutorials with bad music, and it's no bigger than his own palm. The cover is handwritten, and Dean immediately recognizes it as Cas's. He smiles, expecting a prank or joke of some sort, Cas knows how stressed Dean can get with the start of the semester. However, his smile falters as he reads the cover:

How to tell your best friend you’re in love with him.

With a shaky hand, Dean opens the small book. The first page is the only one with any more writing on it, and it reads:

You leave him a note and hope it’s enough.

Dean is storming out of his bedroom (no pun intended) before he knows it. He barely even feels his feet moving, too focused on the pounding in his ears and the dryness in his mouth. He doesn’t go into the living room, not yet; his feet stop at the end of the short hallway and he braces himself against the wall. The room is spinning and he can barely breathe.

“Cas?” He chokes out.

Cas puts the book back down on the table in front of him and interlocks his fingers in front of him. He doesn’t look at Dean– Cas, who makes too much eye contact – and takes a deep breath before saying “yes?”

He’s nervous.

Dean takes a step forward, still keeping one hand on the wall just in case, and holds up the note. “What is this?” he asks, because his brain is just not there with him yet.

Cas stands, still not facing Dean. “Dean, do you know what day it is?”

He’s asking this now???

“September firs–”

Oh. Oh shit.

“Cas isn’t today the–”

“The night we met. Two years ago.”

Dean feels his brain catching up now as the memory starts coming back to him. Cas helps, starting to recount that night.

“Two years ago tonight, I was leaving my night course at the university, and it was raining. Not as bad as this,” –Cas looks out the window and lightning strikes, as if on cue– “but pretty badly, and I was an inexperienced freshman without an umbrella.”

Dean remembers. He was walking Charlie to her dorm when it started drizzling, and it was pouring by the time he made it back to his car. Dean had a night shift at the gas station and was about to head there.

“Two years ago tonight,” Cas continues, “you invited me into your car to shelter me from the rain.”

Dean saw this guy running in the direction of the men’s dorms, which were on the other side of campus. He felt bad, and he had a car, so he opened the passenger door and let him in.

Turned out to be the most gorgeous guy he’d ever laid eyes on. He was a bit awkward, but he had no filter, which made him weirdly funny. He asked about the music playing in the car and listened intently to Dean's rambling. He laughed at his jokes too.

At the end of the five-minute drive, he said his name was Castiel, and Dean asked for his number and saved it as Cas with a thunderstorm emoji. Because even if he didn’t know it yet, Dean was already whipped.

“Two years ago,” Cas says, finally looking up at Dean. His eyes are wide and vulnerable and he looks terrified and Dean can barely stand it. “Two years ago tonight, I started to fall in love with you.”

Dean can’t breathe. His ears are hot and he can’t stop fidgeting with the note in his hand and he can’t breathe.

But his feet start moving again, out of their own volition. They move toward Cas.

“If you don’t feel–” Cas starts, but Dean swallows his words.

Again, Dean’s brain isn’t all there yet, and he doesn’t realize what he’s doing until he’s already in it. He’s grabbing Cas’s face, digging his fingertips into the back of his hair, and the note is forgotten on the table, and thunder rumbles not that far away. He’s darting out his tongue, begging to explore Cas’s mouth as he’s wanted to do since forever, and Cas lets him. He tastes like toothpaste and coffee and honey and Dean never wants to taste anyone else ever again.

Cas is wrapping his arms around Dean’s waist and pressing his entire body against him. It’s making Dean weak in the knees but it’s okay because Cas is almost holding him upright at this point. There’s another clap of thunder, much closer this time, and the lightning probably illuminated the apartment, but it wasn’t enough to make them part. They’re moving and grasping and exploring frantically, and Dean is afraid Cas is going to disappear, or that he’s going to wake up and this will all have been another dream. But no, it’s real, and they’re playing catchup on two years worth of desire and longing and love.

They eventually pull away, breathless and giddy. The only sounds are the rain and the wind. Dean opens his eyes first, needing to see Cas and make sure this is completely, definitely, unequivocally real. Cas is smiling and taking deep breaths, and a weight seems to be lifted off his shoulders. He opens his eyes a second later, and even in the darkness, even with just the faint candlelight, the blue in them seems to shine. And even though there's no power, it feels as if there's electricity crackling in the air around them. It might be the storm.

No. It's the moment. This moment with Cas is what feels electric.

“Come to bed?” Dean asks, feeling brave and going out on a limb. The only way Cas responds is by interlocking his hand into Dean’s and kissing him again.

And after tonight, for the rest of his life, if anyone ever asks him “what’s one thing you love about Cas?” Dean won’t be able to narrow down an answer.

He’ll just say: “Everything.”

#gen.fics #spncreatorsdaily #creativecaviar #userjennmish #userdorksinlove #userstarry #tuserari #plantdadcas #offbeattraxx #slipper007 #thisisapaige #lyntracks #deancas #destiel #college au #fic #spn #gen creates

380 notes · View notes

babymetaldoll · 4 years ago

Text

DIWK - Chapter one: "Yes, I'm a genius"

Word count: 10,5 K

Warnings: Cursing, but it's mostly a fluffy nerdy start to our story. Mentions of the L.D.S.K episode (Season 1, E06) and A real Rain (Season 1, E17).

Summary: Spencer meets the BAU new member, a young S.S.A. who happens to be just as nerdy as he is. (Y/N) is excited to join her dream job finally, but she is decided to create an imaginary barrier between her personal life and her job 'cos she doesn't want to make the same mistakes her father had done.

A/N: It's happening!!! I'm so excited!! I'm sorry it's gonna be long, so I hope you enjoy the ride 💕. Let me know what you think!

Series Masterlist

┅┅┅┅┅┅┅༻❁༺┅┅┅┅┅┅┅

Spencer's point of view

I remember everything that happened the day (Y/N) first arrived at the BAU. It was Monday, November 7th, 2005. Morgan had teased me for a whole week already, as soon as Hotch told us a new member of the team had been selected.

I first saw her when she had her last interview with Aaron and Gideon. My eyes were glued to her from the moment she stepped into the bullpen, and of course, Derek saw me.

- "What caught your eye, kid?"- he asked, walking to my desk. He sat on it and cut me one of his smirks, telling me he knew something was going on. I cleared my throat, trying to turn to my pile of paperwork, going through the papers, and narrowing my eyes, pretending to read.

- "What?"- I know I couldn't fool him, but at least I tried.

- "Do you know her?"

- "Who?"- Morgan looked at me in silence. He knew I knew what he was talking about- "The... no, Hotch is talking with someone..."

I was completely flustered.

- "That I can see, do you know her?"

- "No..."- I whispered and looked over again, this time staring at the scene inside the office, trying to figure out what they were talking about.

I could see (Y/N) smiling at Hotch, and he... smiled back, which still surprises me. Our Unit Chief never smiles in the office, and somehow, (Y/N) always manages to make him grin and express tenderness. I guess that's one of the things about her I love, the way she always manages- somehow, I still don't know how- to make everybody around her happy. Especially me. I had never been as happy as I've been since I met her.

- "Hey, Hotch!"- Morgan waited until she was into the elevator to call Aaron and start asking questions- Who is she?

- "That's Supervisory Special Agent (Y/F/N) (Y/S/N) (Y/L/N), and she is going to be part of the team, starting next week."

My heart stopped. (Y/N) was gonna work with me. I was never going to have another intelligible thought or idea if she was going to be around. Of that, I was sure.

Derek turned to me with a grimace of taunt as I tried my best to look away and hide my red blushed cheeks. Damn it. I hate it when he makes me feel like a kid. He did that then, and he still manages to do it now, even when I'm already thirty years old.

- "Did you hear that, pretty boy?"- I was so glad it was just him and Hotch. I didn't want anyone else to listen to that conversation- "You are going to get many chances to talk with that pretty girl."

- "We are going to have to go through the fraternization policy then."- Hotch joked. Yes, he joked and smiled as he walked away.

I could barely talk or even look at her during her whole first day. I was so embarrassed that week 'cos I had just failed my firearm qualification, and I knew everybody was judging me. At least that's how I felt. It didn't work that Morgan welcomed me that morning with a freaking whistle. I felt like the mockery of a Supervisory Special Agent of the FBI, and of all days, (Y/N) had to arrive that morning.

We had a long briefing that day, JJ catching (Y/N) up with a few cases we were reviewing, and Hotch gave her the proper induction to the team. Penelope loved her. It was friendship at first sight.

- "I'm so happy you are here to stay! There aren't enough girls here at the BAU!"- she nearly squeaked as soon as we left the meeting room- "I want to know everything about you! We are going to be best friends. I can feel it!"- (Y/N) smiled at Garcia and nodded.

- "If you are a cat lover and a sucker for nerdy things, then I guess we are already family."

Her answer made Penelope shriek in excitement as I walked back to my desk quickly. I knew Derek wasn't going to waste the chance to embarrass me in front of her, and I needed to avoid it no matter what.

- "Considering it's your first day, and so far we haven't got a case, I say we should all have lunch together. There's a small place nearby"- Morgan smiled sweetly at (Y/N), and she nodded.

- "I'd love to."

- "Spencer here was just telling me how he wanted to know how you got to the BAU so young; he is excited not to be the team's baby anymore"- I turned to Morgan slowly. I swear he could feel the daggers from my eyes.

- "How old are you?"- she asked, and her smile left me speechless. I tried to answer, but I couldn't make any sound but an awkward stutter.

- "He's twenty-four"- Elle had to answer for me, 'cos I had literally lost all my verbal abilities- "His birthday was a few weeks ago."

- "Congratulations! I'm twenty-four too! I'm so happy I'm not the youngest! My brother teased me about it for the last couple of days and got me all freaked out."

She looked so happy to be there. When you spend day after day surrounded by the worst of humankind, you seem to enjoy and appreciate the little gentle things in life. Her excitement was one of those. It was refreshing.

- "That's..."- it was so hard to pronounce any word at that moment. I was flustered and mortified 'cos I was making a fool out of myself.

- "That's great."

That was all I managed to say. Then, I looked down at the papers on my desk, doing my best to avoid any conversation. JJ and Elle talked to her for a few more minutes before returning to their duties, and Derek tapped my back as he walked to his desk.

- "Way to go, Romeo."

- "Shut up."

We never made it for lunch that day, 'cos we were called for a case in Illinois, and I was embarrassed in front of (Y/N) for the very first time. The first of many.

(Y/N)'s point of view

I could never forget the day I met Spencer. We were just kids. We were both twenty-four, and that was the first thing that caught everybody's attention on my first day at the BAU. We were the youngest, though he was a genius. I was an average kid who graduated high school at sixteen, got good grades at college, and got into the academy at twenty. Somehow I managed to kick ass until I got the position of my dreams in the Behavioral Analysis Unit. I felt too young and inexperienced to be there, but seeing Reid's face made me feel a little better.

Hotch introduced me to everybody: Morgan, JJ, Elle, Penelope, Gideon -the legend- and Doctor Spencer Reid. He didn't shake my hand, explaining he has a "germs thing." I waved and said I understood him because I've always had a "hug thing," so we are both on the same page.

- "I don't like people touching me if we are not close friends or family."- I explained, and he smiled right away. That smile. It lit up my days for years to come.

- "Me neither, so don't worry, I'm not gonna try to touch you"- I bit my lips as I nodded, and his cheeks turned blood red with embarrassment immediately

- "Sorry, I mean, I'm not going to do anything that might bother you, like hugging you or..."

- "Don't worry, Dr. Reid, I understood what you were trying to say"- he kept nodding and excusing himself, and I tried not to laugh. He seemed to be so nervous it was endearing.

- "You... you can call me Spencer, or Reid"- he added- "You don't need to call me doctor."

- "You can call me (Y/N)"- and he nodded again, looking like a ten years old kid.

I remember clearly that second, right away, I thought he could be my new best friend. There was something about him that made me want to get closer to him.

- "Great! Now we've got two weird kids."- Morgan quickly said, chuckling, and I frowned at his words. I wanted to give him the snarkiest answer, but I remembered it was my first day, and I was still trying to give a good impression to my new coworkers, so I just stared.

- "You know, treating them like kids won't make you look wiser."- Elle whispered, though I heard her perfectly, as Hotch called to the briefing room.

- "I'm just joking with them! Don't you get a joke?"

I thought it was rude to joke around with someone you had just met, but soon after that, I realized Derek Morgan meant no harm. He was like that. And soon, he became the older brother I never thought I was going to need at work. After all, it was my first official job, and it was a very stressful one.

My first case was nerve-wracking. Gideon snapped in front of me, and I felt I wasn't helping at all catching the sniper. We are not supposed to use that word, but fuck it. Besides, Spencer and Hotch were kept hostage by the unsub. And Aaron had to beat the shit out of Reid to save all the hostages. Reid was so embarrassed, and I was so scared.

Scared of looking weak in front of my team. Afraid of not deserve being at the BAU.

I remember Elle brought me a coffee on the jet on our way back and said the words that resonated in my head when she left.

- "No one expects you to be perfect at what you do. We just need someone who gives the best every day."

I looked into her eyes and nodded. That was one of the few intimate conversations we had. Elle wasn't the one to open her heart and share her feelings. But she was always someone who could tell you the truth and support you when you needed it.

- "Hey! Reid!"- I waved at him from my car as I stopped next to him outside the BAU. It was already two in the morning, and he was outside the main building waiting for a cab.

- "Hey (Y/N)."- he whispered as I rolled up the window and looked at him.

- "Do you need a ride?"

- "No... no, thank you"- he hesitated and waved- "I already called a cab."

- "Are you sure? it's gonna start raining any minute now."

And just as I predicted, a few seconds later, Spencer's glasses were covered with tiny drops of water. He smiled and took a step closer to the car, opened the door, and got in.

- "Th... thank you"- he whispered as I smiled

- "It's ok, I couldn't let you there, on your own, waiting for a cab, not after coming back from a case."

- "I'm ok..."- maybe he thought I was implying the beating he got from Aaron earlier that day, so I did my best to tell him otherwise.

- "I bet you are, but it's fucking freezing, and we are all tired. There's no way you are waiting for a cab if I can drive you over... what about your car, by the way?"

- "I'm not a fan of driving; I take the subway to work every day."

- "Really? Why not?"- I was surprised by his answer, but I was way more surprised we were talking, finally.

- "I don't know, I don't feel comfortable driving... the guys say I'm weird."

I turned to him, raising an eyebrow. He looked so nervous it made me feel bad. Maybe I had done something that had bothered him and never noticed it.

- "That's not weird"- my voice was soft, trying to calm him down. Spencer looked like a scared kitten sitting on my car's passenger seat.

- "If you don't like driving, that's ok... I don't like talking on the phone with people. It makes me anxious for no reason."- I confessed, keeping my eyes on the road. But I know he turned to me and nodded.

- "That's completely normal. It's called "telephone phobia" or "phone phobia," which refers to the irrational fear or discomfort with speaking over the phone. Psychologists believe that this condition is related to social anxiety, which causes a person to avoid situations where they will need to act. Making a call is essentially a performance, and some people dread making a mistake, freezing up, being ridiculed, or not being able to perform in front of an audience."

- "Really?"- he just nodded and kept his eyes on the road- "I didn't know it had a name! My insurance should cover it."

And he finally laughed, which made me feel he was maybe a little more relaxed around me.

- "This is me."- he announced, and I parked outside his building. It was a nice place, and conveniently, it was very close to my house.

- "Great! I live just a few blocks away. I can give you a ride to work whenever you want"- I might have sounded a little more excited than I should have, but I wanted to be friends with him. He was the closest in age with me at work, and he looked so shy and friendly. He was a magnet. Spencer Reid was calling for my friendship. I could feel it.

- "Th.. thanks"- he stuttered and nodded as he opened the door and step out of the car- "Thank you, again."

- "You are very welcome!"- I answered with a big smile. He stared at me for another second and waved before turning around, basically running into the building.

I wish I could go back in time to those days. Everything was more uncomplicated, we were getting to know each other, and everything was brand new: Reid's rambling, my bad jokes. I miss that. I miss us.

It wasn't easy to get close to Spencer. It wasn't easy to get close to the team, probably 'cos I was overthinking every single thing I did. In my first couple of weeks, I was as friendly as I have ever been and made my best to be the (Y/N) I had to be as an FBI Agent. I was making a tremendous effort to fit it. I was nervous and walking on eggshells the whole time. Every time Hotch talked to me, I was sure he would tell me I was fired. When Gideon looked at me, I was sure he thought I was the dumbest agent he had ever met. And every time I spoke at the morning briefings, I just could feel Spencer thinking I was stupid.

- "(Y/N)! (Y/N)! I was looking for you!"- Penelope ran into me outside the lady's room and jumped on my face, making me scream- "Sorry!"

- "It's ok, you just almost killed me of a heart attack, but that's ok... I'll survive."- I joked as I kept feeling my heart jumping in my chest.

- "Sorry, I'm just excited 'cos everybody is in for a little gathering tonight at my house. I need to give you a proper welcome! You've already been here for nearly a month, and we still don't get to know much of you."

Hanging out with my coworkers outside the office was strange. Not that I didn't want to get to meet them, it's just that... they were FBI agents. Sure, so was I, but it was my first official Supervisory Special Agent job, and I was only twenty-four. There were so many of my teenage days I still wasn't ready to let go. And so much of it, I didn't want them to know.

- "Sure!"- I replied and smiled at her face lighting up. You could tell Penelope was excited to host a party at her house.

- "Great! Tonight! my place! I'll text you the address! you have to be there!"

- "I will, I swear!"

Spencer's point of view

Oh, man! The first time I actually talked to (Y/N) was on a get-together Penelope organized at her apartment a few weeks after (Y/N) joined the team. Garcia made an effort to make her feel welcome, she even invited Elle, and we all knew those two weren't incredibly close.

Derek drove Elle and me to Penelope's, and I was mortified every minute I spent in that car. He wouldn't stop teasing me, and Elle asked over and over if I had a crush on (Y/N).

- "No! I don't have a crush on her! can you knock it off?!"- I finally snapped as I got off the car outside Garcia's building.

- "Just because she is my age doesn't mean I have or should have a crush on her! she is our new colleague! so please! Stop!"

I slammed the door and walked inside. Did I make an unnecessary scene? Yes, but I couldn't handle anything better at that moment. They were driving me crazy.

- "Welcome! Welcome!"- Penelope opened the door and invited us in. (Y/N), and JJ were already there, holding a beer and laughing. I stared at the two of them and knew I wasn't going to say a word the whole evening.

Back then, I still had a small crush on JJ. We had a terrible date after Gideon gave me tickets for a football game with her favorite team. That was his way to encourage me to ask her out, which I did... but apparently, I sucked at it, 'cos she never got it was a date and invited Penelope to come along. Worst date of my life. But still, I got flustered around her, and my mind kept coming back to her from time to time.

- "So, pretty girl, why did you want to be part of the FBI?"- Morgan asked her after a while of small talk. She was sitting on Garcia's coach, next to our host and JJ. I turned to look at her from my chair, and I swear I felt Elle's eyes on me for a few seconds.

- "Do you usually call girls names?"- (Y/N) answered the questions with another question and frowned at Morgan. He just wide opened his eyes and smiled, surprised.

- "He calls everybody names."- JJ replied, chuckling

- "Hey! he calls me sweet names! Just me!"- Penelope got all jealous and possessive right away.

- "Did you know according to some studies, the reason people in relationships use pet names for their partners is that they're harking back to their own childhood experience and their first love, which usually relates to their mother"- facts came out of my mouth faster than I noticed. I didn't have a chance to stop myself.

Derek frowned right away and (Y/N) bit her lips, trying not to laugh. Elle lost that fight and let out a burst of loud laughter along with JJ.

- "Are you trying to tell me I've got mommy issues, Reid?"

- "No, no, of course not!"- my voice was agitated as I shook my head and hands frenetically. If there's one thing I never want to do is get Morgan mad. He is scary when he is crossed, and back then, we weren't as close as we are now. Let's say I was a little afraid I might say the wrong thing. I always said the wrong thing... I don't know when to stop.

- "I call people pet-names too, once I get to know them, so don't worry"- (Y/N) smiled at turned to Derek with a smile- "And to answer your question, why did I join the FBI? I guess I tried to follow dad's steps. He is chief of police here at Quantico... and my older brother is a detective at NYPD, so... I guess I never really thought about it. I knew where I wanted to be."

- "I bet they are proud"- JJ smiled at her, and I held my breath for a second. I don't know why I did it; I just remember feeling overwhelmed all of a sudden. Not because of JJ, but because I wanted to learn more about (Y/N). I wanted to know everything, but I had no idea how to ask her anything.

- "Well, my brother is very jealous since I joined the BAU"- she chuckled with a playful smile- "Now I'm dad's favorite."

She told us about her academy experience, and we all told her a little bit about ourselves. Morgan was nice enough to tell her everything about my degrees and IQ because, well, my IQ dropped to twenty when it was my turn to talk to her.

I found out she has a MA in Linguistics and was considering doing the DA, which she did. That's when I managed to speak, and we talked about our college experiences for a while.

- "Oh, no! I wasn't popular at all. When your dad is a cop, kids usually don't wanna talk to you or invite you to parties."- she explained as we stood at one side of the room. Talking to her on our own was a little bit easier than doing it with everybody else watching. I don't know why. So I took my opportunity when Derek was out getting more beer with Elle, and JJ and Garcia were in the kitchen.

- "Being fourteen and riding my bike to college didn't make me very popular either."- I confessed, and she chuckled

- "Sorry."

- "Don't be"- I smiled and looked down at my shoes- "I guess at a certain point in our lives, we have to start laughing about some of the bad things that happened to us"- her cellphone rang that second, and she looked at the screen with a small smile.

- "Sorry, I have to answer this, it's my boyfriend."

Boyfriend. I should have seen it coming.

I walked to the kitchen, defeated, and sighed. I left my empty can of Coke and looked at my friends.

- "I think I'm gonna go home."

- "What? No! It's too early, Spence!!"- JJ argued right away- "You never want to hang out with us outside work!"

- "Yeah!! Don't you want to have fun with us?"- Garcia begged and pouted. I wasn't sure I wanted to be there. I was very uncomfortable 'cos social gatherings weren't my thing (they are still not my thing anyway) until I heard her voice.

- "So, what are you guys doing?"- (Y/N) walked over and stood next to me

- "Who were you talking to?"- Penelope asked right away with a wink.

- "My boyfriend"- she was joyful, I could feel the happiness in her voice- "He just wanted to know if I was ok."

- "Boyfriend?"- JJ smiled, and I could feel her eyes glance over me.

- "I need to know everything!"- and Penelope hyperventilated right away- "How long have you been dating? Are you getting married soon? Is he the love of your life?"

- "Who's getting married?"- Morgan walked in and wide opened his eyes as he questioned the room.

- "(Y/N) is getting married!!"- Penelope nearly shrieked as (Y/N) shook her head laughing.

- "I'm not getting married! Paul and I started dating just a month ago; it's nothing serious."

I took a sip of the beer Elle gave me and sighed, staring at the bottle. I made my best not to look at Derek for the rest of the night. I didn't want him to give me any sorry glance or anything that might make anyone believe something that wasn't real.

It was a fun night, after all. After my beer, we talked; I felt a little looser and managed to ask (Y/N) about herself and told her I had overheard her telling Garcia she was a sucker for all nerd things.

- "Yeah, I'm a huge nerd"- her cheeks blushed with her confession.

- "I bet you can't beat baby genius here"- Morgan chuckled and tapped in my back, making everybody laugh... at me.

- "I've got the feeling I can top him... you have no idea the kind of geek I am"- she looked straight at me- "How many Star Wars conventions have you been to this year?"

- "Just one, you?"- I raised an eyebrow and watched her chuckle.

- "Five... last two I was in make-up and custom"- I wide opened my eyes as she bit her lips nervously.

- "And Doctor Who conventions?"- I asked her, way more intrigued than I had been about her before.

- "Only two this year, the academy and school got in the way of most of my fun..."

- "Do you have a favorite doctor?"- I had to ask

- "From the new series, ten, the classic Doctor who I have to say four."

- "Tom Baker is by far my favorite doctor of the whole series."

- "But you can't overlook the fantastic job David Tennant has done! He is the one who managed to charm a whole new generation with the show!"

- "Yeah, he is excellent! but he ain't no Baker"- I loved that conversation

- "Baker's popularity is 80% because he had Sara Jane, who is by far one of the best companions the doctor has ever had. She made him human and relatable"- she had a point, but I needed to argue with her. I opened my mouth to answer, but I couldn't because Morgan's voice was louder than my thoughts.

- "Ok, geeks, you can ramble about your tv shows and nerd things some other time, now let's make a toast. To our newest member, we hope you feel welcome working with us, 'cos you are gonna see us way more than you see your boyfriend"- she chuckled at those words and nodded.

- "Thank you, guys. You have been so nice to me these couple of weeks. I've got the feeling we are gonna get along."

- "Do you need a ride?"- (Y/N) turned to me as I grabbed my satchel, and she put on her coat.

- "Thanks, but Morgan is gonna take me home."- I whispered, scared to be alone with her again.

- "Actually, kid, I was planning to hit the club right now, it's still early, and we don't get many free nights, so..."- he looked at us and shrugged.

- "You don't mind?"- I asked her, and she gave me the warmest smile.

- "I just offered to do it, of course, I don't mind at all."

- "Thank you."

I didn't know if I wanted to kill Morgan or thank him. Either way, (Y/N) waved goodbye to everybody and walked out of Garcia's with me, after thanking everybody for the hundredth time for everything.

- "Are you tired?"- she asked me as we both sat in her car. She started it, and the music that came from the radio was so loud, I nearly covered my ears- "Sorry! Sorry! I was rocking my favorite album on my way over."

She quickly turned off the radio and gave me a guilty smile

- "It happens when you drive alone a lot."

- "Did you know listening to loud music helps you liberate stress?"- I started rambling- "There is a direct connection between your inner ear and the pleasure centers in the brain. Shortly explained, when you listen to loud music, endorphins are released, that act on the opiate receptors in our brains, they reduce pain and boost pleasure, resulting in a feeling of well-being."

If I was going to work with her, I had to find a way to talk to her. Even if that way was to ramble facts over and over again. Anything was better than silences, I guess.

- "Yeah! and it also works like a stimulant, which I needed after the week we just had..."- I chuckled, and she looked at me for a second- "By the way, I noticed you have a problem with coffee and sugar"

- "I don't have a problem with coffee!"- I felt nearly judged by her statement.

- "And sugar!"- she added and snickered

- "You know you shouldn't profile other profilers"- I made my best to make a joke, and I guess I nailed it, 'cos she chuckled.

- "That's hardly profiling, Reid! that's just watching you prepare your coffee every morning"

- "Have you been spying on me?"- I could help but to chuckle at that conversation. I was having fun.

- "No way on earth! I just happen to like to drink coffee too, which leads us to the question I wanted to ask, it's still early; Morgan was right, do you want to have a coffee or something... I'm in the mood for something sweet."

- "And you were judging me for my coffee with extra sugar!"

- "I'm not judging you! I'm just pointing out that I noticed what you are doing and wondering how many cavities you already have."

I laughed. An honest, real, pure laughter. She has always made me laugh as I've never had. Like there are no problems, no worries, no traumas. Nothing bad.

- "I have no cavities, thank you very much!"

- "Fine! and are you in the mood for a late coffee and cupcake with me?"- I stayed quiet and looked at her- Don't feel pushed to do it just because I'm giving you a drive

- "No, no, it's not that. I just don't wanna bother you"

- "If I am inviting you, Reid, it's because I want to do it, not because I'm feeling forced to do it"- she kept her eyes on the road, but her voice was so reassuring I couldn't doubt a word.

- "Wouldn't your boyfriend get mad or something?"- I whispered the question 'cos I was scared of the answer.

- "Why should he?"- she looked shocked by the questions- "If he gets jealous, then he is not the guy for me."

I cut her a short smile and nodded. Her personality was so different from mine. It was exciting to have her around.

- "I could eat a donut"- and she clapped at my answer, thrilled with the plan.

- "That's the spirit! I know just the place!"

We talked until four in the morning that night. I don't know how I managed to do it, not because I was tired, but because I was very nervous. Well, I was at the beginning, but talking with (Y/N) has always come easy to me, somehow. To the guy who was never able to speak in public or with any girl, spending three hours in a cafeteria talking, eating donuts, and drinking coffee in the middle of the night was the most significant achievement.

(Y/N)'s point of view

- "How do you know a place open at this hour?"- Spencer asked me the very first time we were out together for coffee. It was already close to four in the morning, and I had started yawning, 'cos even with all the sugar and caffeine I had consumed that night, I was weary.

- "Sorry to break the news, doctor, but are not the only one with a sugar problem"- I licked a little frosting from my finger and grinned- "Sometimes after classes, or when I was too stressed studying, I would come here, get a coffee, a cupcake and just... do nothing for a while, just to let my brain rest I guess"

- "That makes total sense. The brain needs free time to process new information and turn it into something more permanent. Though the amount of time a mind needs to construct a durable memory probably varies from one person to the next, it also depends on the complexity of what that person is trying to learn"

- "Well, believe me, it felt like I needed two weeks to process all the information, but I only had half an hour if I was lucky"

- "Then you are already trained for this work. We don't have much time to do anything when we are on a case"

- "That's what I've seen so far... but at least you all get along. It would suck to be stuck in a team that fight egos and divisions."

- "Yeah, you are right, we are lucky to have very nice people working with us... everybody brings something different to the team"- I nodded at his words and looked down at my fingers as I tried to wipe the leftover sticky glazed with a napkin.

I had been working there for four weeks already, and I still felt like I didn't belong. Honestly, it was such hard work being there, not because they weren't a great team, but because it was more challenging than I ever imagined. Profiling and traveling all over the nation catching serial killers was... stressing, to say the least.

- "You bring a completely different point of view in every case"- he continued speaking and looked down at his cup- "And your knowledge in Linguistics adds more information to the profiles, which helps working faster and better."

I held my breath at his words. I knew he was just polite, just trying to make me feel better about my job performance these weeks.

- "I can assure you, you have been an incredible addition to the team"- he stayed quiet for a second, still just staring at his cup.

- "Thank you."

- "It's true; I'm not telling you this 'cos I think you need to hear it. I wanted you to know 'cos that's how we all feel."

I know I was blushing. I don't know how to take a compliment. Not that I get many, but it's always weird to hear someone telling you so nice things about your work.

- "Thank you, Spencer"- he finally looked at me and nodded. We stayed in silence for a few minutes. I didn't know what else to say, and he seemed to be embarrassed.

- "Thank you, actually"- he finally whispered.

- "Why? I didn't do anything"- I was confused, but he was earnest about his words.

- "Thank you, 'cos you have been very nice to me, even though I am a barely tolerable person."

- "What? Barely tolerable? What the hell are you saying?"

- "I mean, I know I drive people crazy 'cos I am always rambling and giving unnecessary facts all the time"- I narrowed my eyebrows, not getting why he was saying those things.

- "You do not do that."

- "Maybe you haven't been here long enough to realize I am always giving facts, and..."- he was honest. He actually believed people were annoyed by him. It hurt me to know that's what he thought of himself.

- "I realized that within the first three hours into the job, but I think that's amazing."

- "People would always say it's annoying."

- "Why would they say that?"

- "Because... I know they do."

- "Well, whoever says or thinks that are assholes, I like your rambling."

Reid snorted, and I hit his arm with my knuckles softly. I really felt bad he was so insecure, and most of all, he thought everybody hated him.

- "I mean it, Spencer, I wish I knew half the things you know, and if being with you means having to listen to your rambling, I think it's incredible, 'cos it gives me the chance to soak some of that knowledge."

The way he smiled, it was like his whole face lit up. He blushed, obviously embarrassed, and it also blushed me, 'cos he was gorgeous when he smiled.

- "So please, don't stop the facts, not with me"- he nodded and sipped what was left of his coffee.

After another few minutes, we left, and I drove him home. We were in a small sugar rush; we were too tired to have a full effect. I knew all I wanted was my bed and sleep the whole weekend.

- "I had a great time tonight"- I parked my car outside his building and smiled- "At Penelope's and with you"

I was so excited we had finally talked and gotten closer. I wanted to be friends with him so badly. Why? I don't know. I just knew I needed him in my life, from that minute on.

- "I had a great time too"- he smiled and held his satchel- "See you Monday"

- "Yeah! See ya!"

- "Drive safe!"

- "I will!"

I got home that night and laid on my bed, fully dressed. I barely took off my shoes and fell asleep right away. I was too tired to think, too tired even to put on my pajamas. But I wasn't too tired to remember Spencer's smile while he ate donuts. His dorky glasses, the way he gesticulated everything he said when he was excited about a subject. I was glad I had finally gotten to talk to him for once. And I couldn't wait to do it again.

Back then, Paul and I had just started dating. I wasn't in love with him, but he was a nice, funny guy I loved spending time with. I met Paul a couple of months ago at a friend's party. He was fun to be with, and we had a lot of things in common. We were both into music. He had a band, I didn't back then, but eventually got mine over time. He was like me, nothing like my friends at the BAU.

I thought that was cool, 'cos he represented a part of me I didn't want to lose working at the FBI. I was terrified I was going to lose myself in my new job. I saw how it affected dad's and my brother's life, how they were consumed by it in almost every single way. It was why my parents got divorced. It was why my brother couldn't keep a girlfriend for longer than a few months. 'Cos work was first, and their job was everything. The crazy hours, having to answer every call, no matter how busy you were. I thought it was sick how work could be your whole life. I was decided not to let it happen.

Yeah. I had no idea what I was getting into.

Soon after I joined the BAU, the nightmares began. I guess nothing prepares you to see so many people die. And nothing prepares you to kill someone, no matter if that someone is a child abuser.

I took the shoot, didn't even hesitate. It went right between his eyes. It was him or me, I know that. He was going to kill me. But still, it was hard.

Derek turned to me as I stayed still, in shock. It took me a few seconds to even breathe. I had just killed a person. It wasn't just some random thing.

- "(Y/N), are you ok?"- he landed a hand on my shoulder, and I quickly nodded.

- "Yeah, I'm ok... that was fast"- it was all I could say and turned to him. He gave me a short warm smile and wrapped an arm around me. I flinched at his touch right away and held my breath again. I don't know if he felt it, but still, he didn't let me go.

Derek has that thing when he doesn't care if you want it or no; he will give you his love and friendship when he feels you deserve it. I guess I'm lucky to call him my friend. And he really pushed that hug thing I still have.

- "Are you ok?- Spencer's voice was a sweet whisper. He sat carefully next to me in the jet and gave me a warm cup of tea- "I made you the one you like"

Of course, he had noticed my favorite brand, 'cos that's what Spencer does, he takes mental notes of everything and never, ever forgets. I wonder if that's a good thing or not. I guess it depends on what you remember.

- "Yeah, just tired"- working at the BAU, you can hide any kind of feeling behind the "I'm so tired" excuse. Mostly because we are indeed tired the whole time.

- "It was an extreme case"- I sipped my cup of tea and nodded at his words- "Do you..."

- "No, I'm ok, I don't wanna talk about it"- he bit his lips as he smiled. We both stayed quiet for a while. He read (somehow, at a relative normal peace), and I drank my tea. I couldn't concentrate on anything, so I just looked outside and tried not to think about the unsub's face and how he looked when I killed him.

- "How was your first time?"- I finally asked him, and I think my question caught him by surprise, 'cos he nearly jumped on his seat- "Not your first time in the sack, the first time you had to..."

- "No, I got it, I got it"- he was already blushing, it was adorable- "My first time was actually the first time you drove me home"

- "Really?"

- "Yeah"- he made a pause and gathered his thoughts, I guess- "I didn't really go out to the field a lot before 'cos I didn't have my firearm qualification"

And suddenly I remembered how embarrassed he was about it on my first day at the BAU. Derek made sure everybody knew about it 'cos he thought it was hilarious. And I thought he was a jerk for making fun of him.

- "And did it affect you?"- it was a stupid question. I knew Spencer was a sensitive person; of course, killing someone was going to affect him in many ways- "I mean, how did it affect you?"

- "I couldn't feel anything at first"

- "Shock?"- he nodded and sighed- "Gideon said that maybe I didn't know what I felt and that's why I thought I didn't feel a thing, but that wasn't it, it was like I was numbed inside... but then when it hits you"- he murmured- "And you can't stop thinking about it"

- "I think it hit me sooner than I thought"- I closed my eyes and sighed, but even then, I could feel those empty dead eyes staring at me.

- "Wanna know what helped me?"- Spencer's voice was velvety and soothing. It felt relaxing talking to him.

- "What?"- I whispered and turned to look at him

- "Remember two things: you did what you had to do"- I sighed at that with a small smile. It didn't sound like something I could believe at that moment.

- "And the second?"

- "A lot of kids are alive and safe because of you"

Now, that made me feel a lot better. Reid was right. I did what I had to do to help people. That guy wasn't going to stop.

- "Thanks"- I managed to give him a slight smile, and he did the same.

- "I'm here to talk if you want to"

It felt like he was really making an effort to say those words. I didn't know why it was still so hard for him to talk to me. Maybe it was still a sensitive subject for him, so I did what I do best: I joked about it.

- "Thank you... I'll try to avoid the issue as much as I can, but when I collapse under the pressure, I promise I'll come to you"- he chuckled at my answer and nodded right away.

- "Great plan."

And a few days later, I couldn't sleep anymore. I kept waking up to those eyes. I kept feeling guilty for killing a child abuser who was trying to kill me. I relived in my mind that moment over and over again.

- "Babe, come back to bed"- Paul found me sitting by the kitchen island staring at a herbal teacup at two am. It was my third insomnia night.

- "Yeah, I'll be right there"- he turned to walk back to the room but hesitated and looked at me again.

- "Do you want to talk about it?"- I shook my head, still not taking my eyes from the cup. He slowly walked to me and held my hand - "Come on, babe, everything looks worse at two am."

And he was right. Everything seemed to be worse when it came to my mind in the middle of the night. But it didn't get any better during the day either. He cuddled with me in my bed and fell asleep soon after. I just stayed there, feeling his chest moving softly with his soft breathing, thinking I had killed someone, and it wasn't going to be the last time I was going to face something like this.

Spencer's point of you

Do you want to know something sad? I was excited we had an unsub in New York 'cos I had never been there. Back then, I didn't know my colleagues were going to tease me about it. I didn't give it too much thought. I honestly wasn't good at leaving my house when we weren't in a case. Most of my traveling had been due to work, and other than La Vegas and Pasadena, I hadn't been to many cities just to sightsee.

Why am I thinking about that right now? 'cos we were in New York the day (Y/N) gave me her first gift.

Everybody had made fun of me during dinner because I didn't know how to eat with chopsticks. JJ tried to teach me, which also caused hours of Morgan's teasing for the rest of the trip. Thankfully, they dropped the jokes when we went back to the police station to take one last look at the profile after we got a call out unsub had killed a cop this time.

But after two hours of thinking, neither of us was honestly able to give any new idea to the case. Hotch insisted we head back to the hotel to have some rest. (Y/N) was one of the last ones to leave, along with Gideon and me.

- "Stop looking at the board"- she said, standing by my side, bag in hand- "Let's go. Your big brain needs to rest."

- "I won't be able to sleep knowing I'm missing something"- I answered, not taking my eyes from the board

- "Come on"- (Y/N) playfully hit my arm- "You need your eight hours of sleep to be a fully functional genius"

- "You should try to get a full night's sleep as well"- I turned to her and watched her eyes widen- "What? Do you think I didn't notice you haven't been sleeping?"

- "No, but I thought you were going to wait until I had a mental breakdown to force me to talk about it; that was the plan, right?"

I tried not to laugh, but it was hard; she is so funny, though I knew that was a sensitive subject, it had been weeks since the incident, and it was clear (Y/N) wasn't processing everything right. If anything, her jokes were a coping mechanism to avoid talking or even thinking about what had happened.

- "We can also talk about it, just... talk"

- "I know what happens with me, Reid"- she whispered and looked around. Gideon was outside, no way near us, but still, she kept her voice low. It made me see she was scared he would hear her, 'cos she didn't want him to think she was weak.

- "I guess I just have to make peace with it. It was gonna happen, and it will happen again, it's my job, it's part of what I do, end of it."

I looked at her and nodded in silence. There was so much I wanted to tell her, but I couldn't shake the thought she was going to laugh at me.

- "Do you want to?"- I made a pause and took a deep breath. Yes, I was very nervous- "Do you want to walk back to the hotel? it's just a few blocks and maybe... fresh air can help you relax?"

I didn't mean to hesitate so much, but it was scary for me to ask her to spend time on our own. I don't know why. It wasn't just with her; it happened with everybody at that point in my life. I was sure no one wanted to spend time with me. Why would they?

- "Can we have a midnight cupcake?"- she asked and smiled. I bit my lips and pretended to give the idea a lot of thinking, though I was craving donuts ever since we didn't have time for dessert at dinner.

- "Just one, and no coffee"

- "What are you? The sleeping police?"- she teased me and led the way. We waved at Gideon and walked outside the police station.

For a rainy night, it was freezing. But I didn't care much. I was too busy looking around, it was technically my first night out in New York, and though I was just leaving work and walking back to the hotel, it was the biggest adventure I have had there so far.

For the first couple of minutes, we walked in silence. (Y/N) looked at her feet, hands stuffed in her pocket as I walked next to her, holding my umbrella for the two of us. I tried to take in everything that was going on around us. It was exciting, being there, alone. I was a twenty-four-year-old Supervisory Special Agent of the FBI, and I was excited to walk with a friend in the New York city streets. No wonder why Morgan called me "kid."

- "Did you know more than 800 languages are spoken in New York City? that makes it the most linguistically diverse city in the world"- I had to start rambling facts after a while because I guess I couldn't help it.

- "Vraiment?"- she answered, and I chuckled. Of course, Master in Linguistics.

- "Oui"- I thought we could have a whole conversation in french; it would have been fun and fascinating, but my French was very rusty, and I didn't know if she was fluent or just learned a few things.

- "When I was a kid, I dreamt about living in New York. I was obsessed with it"- she kept looking down at her feet as she spoke, and I turned to look at her for a second. She looked sad somehow, or that's what I read from her. I've always done my best not to profile profilers. It's harder than you imagine.

- "Why?"- she chuckled at her thoughts and kept her eyes on her shoes.

- "You know how they always make you feel no matter how weird you might be, you are still going to fit in New York?"

- "You are not weird"- I couldn't help but frown and look at her- "You are..."

- "I am weird, we are all weird, that's what makes us great"

I loved that thought. That's why I've never forgotten it. Lie, I can't forget. I remember everything we've said to each other because I want to, not because I have an eidetic memory.

- "But when you are in school, everybody is trying to fit it and be normal, and that wasn't me at all..."

I didn't see that coming, and I have to admit it, I loved it. I often felt I was an outsider at the BAU. Hotch, Gideon, Morgan, Elle, JJ, they all fit in everywhere we'd go. Meanwhile, everybody looked at me, wondering what the hell am I doing there. I could read it on their faces. The fact the team had to introduce me as "Doctor Spencer Reid" is a sign they are making an effort to make me look older and more experienced. Reliable, even.

- "Why would you say you are weird?"- I had to ask- "You look very normal to me, I mean it"- she raised an eyebrow and didn't say a word. She just pulled my jacket and dragged me to a coffee shop.

- "Cupcakes, Reid, you can't expect me to tell you embarrassing facts about my life without a cup of coffee and a mountain of sugar."

JJ always said I ate like a kid, too many pastries and candy, no salad. Meanwhile, (Y/N) kept pushing sugar into my body. I liked that. They were both so different. JJ treated me like I didn't know how to deal with life. (Y/N) treated me like I could help her deal with life. JJ wanted to help me grow up. I could feel (Y/N) wanted to be my friend, and I loved that. I had never felt someone longing for my company. It was always the opposite. I usually felt people were stuck with me.

For months I kept comparing the two of them in my head. JJ had such condescending manners, it sometimes made me think she might actually have feelings for me. Other times, Morgan would call her my mom, which took all the hopes from my mind.

- "What do you do in your free time, Reid?"- (Y/N) sat in front of me in a booth. Right in between us, a table with two coffees, a red velvet cupcake, and a chocolate frosted donut with sprinkles.

- "I read, study..."- I didn't give much thought to my answers- "I also write a letter to my mom every day"

- "That's so cute"- I felt how my cheeks turned blood red, and she smiled at me sweetly.

- "Thanks..."- I sipped my hot cappuccino and winced as the coffee burned my tongue, and she chuckled.

- "Slowly, doc, or are you in a hurry?"

- "Definitely not, I have no other plan, I mean, I could sleep, but I know I won't, and, and I know you won't sleep either, so"- the words left my mouth at such a fast pace, not even I got them all. (Y/N) nodded and started taking apart her cupcake, little by little.

- "That's awesome, 'cos I like hanging out with you, and I don't feel like hanging out with Elle tonight. We are sharing rooms."

- "You don't like her?"- now that was breaking news- "I thought you two got along"

- "Don't get me wrong, I like her. I just don't feel like being the version of myself I am when I'm with her"

I looked at her, not sure of where she was going. She took a piece of cake and ate it slowly.

- "You lost me"- (Y/N) sighed and ran a finger around the edge of her cup.

- "Are you really you the whole time when you are at work, Reid?"

- "Well, yes?"- I wasn't sure that was the answer she wanted, but it was the only one I had- "I don't know how to be anybody else"

That was the whole truth. That's still the truth. Maybe that's why I have never been popular. People say I have no empathy, that I can't read any social cues. If I knew how to be someone else, I would probably try to change that and be a Spencer that's entirely sympathetic and social, like everybody else. But I can't force myself to act differently.

She stared at me, and I could feel the frustration piling behind her small smile.

- "Do you want to know something weird?"- her eyes shone as she stared into mines asking the question

- "Always"

- "You are the only person at the BAU I feel I can be myself with"- she whispered and sipped her coffee again.

- "Thanks?"- I was confused- "But... you are not that different with me than you are with the rest of the team"

- "Well, I am... I don't share who I really am at work because I am afraid"

- "Why? What scares you?"- she sighed and laid back on the seat. I kept my eyes fixated on her until she furrowed her brows, staring back at me

- "Are you trying to profile me, Spencer? 'cos we are not supposed to profile each other. I'm pretty sure it was in the contract I signed"- I smiled, busted, and nodded.

- "If it makes you feel any better, you are hard to read"

- "I'm a good liar, don't tell anyone"

She was proud of her answer, and I guess she should have been. You have to be an excellent liar to catch unsubs, get in their head, play with them when you have to make them talk. I guess she was ahead of me in that area.

- "Well, If it makes you feel better, I feel more comfortable around you than most of the team"

I closed my eyes as I spoke, and I knew my voice had been so low and soft, it hadn't been surprising if she hadn't been able to hear me, but she did.

- "Is it because I don't like touching people either?"- she joked, and a small smile stretched across my lips

- "It is because you"- I stopped and rearranged my thoughts. You could tell she was eager to hear the rest of my answer, and I was making sure not to make a fool out of myself.

- "It's because it feels you don't judge me for being me"

- "That's exactly how I feel, Spencer"- her smile was so big it made mine grow bigger as well.

- "But, why can't you be you with everybody?"- (Y/N) took a big bite of her cupcake, feeling more confident about our conversation and nodding.

- "Mmm, this is so damn good, you should try it, Reid"

- "Answer the question, (Y/N)"- I ignored her random comment and asked again- "Why can't you just be you?"

- "There are two answers to that question, and both of them are real"- she finally confessed and bit her lips, playing again with a little piece of cake on the dish.

- "I'm waiting"

- "You know, for someone who said has all the night off, you are indeed in a hurry now!"- she snickered and stuck out her tongue at me.

- "Fine, here's the truth: I don't want to share my whole real me at work because I am scared people will judge me and think I'm weird and too immature for the job, but at the same time, and this is the second reason, I don't wanna show my whole me at work 'cos I am afraid I'll lose it along the way, I am worried the FBI will take that weird part of me and will turn me into an SSA."

- "You are an S.S.A., (Y/N)"

- "I know, but I'm afraid I might end up being an ASS, Reid"

Her joke made me laugh so hard, tears fell down my cheeks. And she looked pleased to see me laughing.

- "See? That's me, the girl telling weird jokes the whole time 'cos can't stand a serious "grown-up" conversation. Can you imagine this (Y/N) talking with Hotch? Seriously, Reid, can you imagine?"

- "No, I can't"- I shook my head, still chuckling, and took a bit of my donut- "But I would definitely love to."

- "Do you want to know what I do in my free time?"- my mouth was still full, so I just nodded, feeling a little guilty I hadn't asked about her when she had asked about my hobbies.

- "I ride my longboard and play bass, do you think an SAA should be doing that? Do you think Elle does it? JJ? they are the perfect fit for the role. I am that kid at the back of the class who got a stroke of luck and managed to hang out with the cool kids"

- "Am I one of the cool kids?"- I had to ask

- "Yes, Reid, why?"

- "I've never been one of the cool kids before"- she gave me a severe look and sipped her coffee.

- "Here I am, pouring my heart and soul out for you, and all you care about is being one of the popular kids. That's being a lousy friend, Reid."

She was joking, and we both chuckled, but my chest tightened at her words, and the smile on my lips grew wider. She called me her friend for the first time that night.

- "I think you are overthinking this whole thing, (Y/N)"- she sighed at my words and finished her coffee- "We are all weird, you said it yourself"

- "Some on us more than other"

- "Yes, but that's what makes us great and unique. I told you, your vision brings a whole new point of view to the profiles, and I know what it's like to feel insecure people will judge you for being too young"

- "I know, that's why I'm glad you are here"

I am sure I was blushing, and I am absolutely certain she noticed because I heard her giggle as I looked down at my empty dish and fidgeted with my cup.

- "And... are"- I stuttered and narrowed my eyes. I knew I had to stop being so nervous around her; she was my friend, she had said it herself- "Are you ready to talk about your nightmares?"

- "Are you profiling I have nightmares?"- she raised an eyebrow and questioned my question

- "I am staring at the back rings under your eyes. It's clear you haven't been sleeping and considering we both know you went through a traumatic incident, to call it that way, you are clearly going through night terrors or nightmares"

- "Did you go through the same?"

- "Yes, I did"

- "And how did you overcome it?"

- "I haven't. I just made my peace with it"- you could read the deception on her face. That wasn't the answer she was waiting for.

- "They will be more sporadically, I promise, (Y/N)"

- "That's what's scares me too"

- "What?"

- "That one day I won't have the nightmares 'cos I'll be used to seeing the darkness and horror around me."

When we left the cafeteria, it was two in the morning, and the night was freezing. It was no longer raining, and the cold wind could freeze your skin in a second. (Y/N) looked at me as I shivered and opened her bag.

- "Here, put this on"- it was a purple scarf.

- "Thank you"- I was so cold I didn't hesitate. The wool was warm, soft, and it smelled like her- "It's pretty"- I felt I had to compliment it, 'cos she was too nice with me.

- "I made it myself"- you could tell she was proud. I tightened it around my neck and continued our way back to the hotel.

I hadn't felt I could count on someone at the FBI as I did with her. She wouldn't think I'm a kid; she wouldn't be forced to hang out with me. It felt pretty good to have a friend again. Ethan had been the last one I had lost. I always lose the people I love.

- "Thank you"- we were standing outside (Y/N)'s room back at the hotel. I took off the scarf and tried to give it back to her, but she didn't let me.

- "Keep, it's a present for being my first and best BAU friend"- I felt profoundly flattered, and I'm pretty sure I giggled, blushing- "Besides, purple looks good on you"

- "It's my favorite color"- I confessed- "And I'm not saying it just to make you feel good"

- "Then you have to keep it. It was made for you even when I didn't know it"- she smiled one more time and opened the door- "Good night, Reid."

- "Good night, (Y/N)."

----------

Series Masterlist

Chapter two

Do you want to comment this chapter? share a thought? or maybe join the tag list?

🤓 you can send me a message 👉🏼 here

#spencer reid #criminal minds #matthew gray gubler #aaron hotchner #derek morgan #penelope garcia #jeniffer jareau #jason gideon #criminal minds fanfic #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid x you #diwk

546 notes · View notes

abbatoirablaze · 3 years ago

Text

Fated, Chapter 8

Word Count: 2.5k

Warnings: mentions of murder/violence, feral? Werewolf hunt, manipulation, handjob, unprotected sex, mentions of spining, werelion! Steve

“You’ve been gone awfully long,” Ari commented with a raised brow as Curtis walked back through the door of the cabin. Curtis shrugged, not really wanting to delve into the details about how he’d met someone in town, but then also managed to lose her before he could get her number or even set up a date. An indifferent rumble was all that he gave as his brother watched him curiously, “did you get everything ordered.”

“Yeah,” Curtis rumbled shortly. Ari glanced outside, seeing the darkness of the mountain and sighed. Curtis was never one for many words. He went to the fridge and grabbed the plate which Ari had made for him, and he began eating without bothering to use silverware or heating it up, “most of it will be ready in a few days. Some of the hardware we need to replace some of the pipes won’t be here until next week.”

“Good. We can pick it up while you’re at work. Just leave the receipts on the counter and we’ll take care of it,” Ari replied as Steve came downstairs. The two brothers looked at the werelion, who seemed a little out of sorts. Ari stared at him, “what’s with you? No one came in for dinner.”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“So now I have to deal with the grumpy bear and the sassy lion,” Ari replied snarkily, leaning against the counter. He crossed his arms as he looked through the window towards the water, “this have anything to do with the water nymph?”

“At least my nymph is willing to talk to me.”

“And she’s very curious about spining at that,” Ari responded, giving Steve a pointed look, “now how does the nymph that only fucked the knothead know about spining? You never explained it at the table the other day and she seemed quite curious about more intimate details.”

Curtis nearly choked on his food when Ari brought up the big cat’s sex life, “what? What in the hell are you sick fucks talking about with the girls when I’m not around?”

“Steve saw the little nymph waddling when Jake here knotted her before we caught Ember,” Ari chuckled, recounting the conversation from the other day, “so he asked her if nymphs were equipped to handle being spined!”

Curtis put down his plate and began shaking his head, “I-I don’t want to know about either of your sex lives.”

“Oh, don’t worry,” Ari chuckled, looking over to a beet red Steve, “she didn’t know what it was…but she was quite chatty with me in the water when she asked if selkies had spines or knots. Funny you’re here too, Curtis…she asked about bears as well.”

“Not interested in either of them,” he commented quickly, hoping to shut the conversation down, “speaking of knotheads, where’s Jake? I saw Johnny with the water nymph, making out on the dock…and you two jackasses are here with me…where’s Jake and the hothead?”

Ari looked nervously to Steve, “has he been with her all day? He is probably driving her crazy if you left them alone together…”

Steve shrugged, “I guess…he damn near brought his entire bedroom down to her.”

Curtis frowned before looking to Ari. Ari’s worry over his little brother annoying the fire nymph turned to concern as the bear questioned the lion, “what color was his eyes?”

Steve shrugged, not getting what Ari and Curtis were worried about, “I don’t know. I don’t spend my time gazing into my geeky little brother’s eyes! Why?”

“It’s quiet,” Ari said nervously as he looked to Curtis. Then his gaze went to the basement door, “I didn’t hear anything the entire time I made dinner.”

“Shit…”Curtis swore as he tore past his two older brothers and ran down to the basement. Her door was wide open. Neither Jake nor Ember were in the room. The chains still had the keys in them. Curtis and Ari’s hearts raced into their throats as they both had the same thought. Curtis turned to Steve, “get your nymph in the house. You and Johnny stay with her.”

Steve’s brow furrowed in confusion as he looked to Ari. He looked just as nervous, “what’s going on with you two?”

“The fire nymph is missing, and the day you idiots caught her he had the ring around his iris’,” Curtis growled, his hands slamming against the wall. He roared and kicked harshly at the chains, “god damn it Ari…I went out for one day. ONE FUCKING DAY. And I left you with him. And you left him unattended with that fire nymph, knowing that he stopped taking his pills.”

“GUYS!” Steve yelled at his brothers. Curtis had Ari by the collar of his shirt and looked like he was going to murder him, “What the hell is going on?”

“Arianna,” Curtis seethed, looking to Steve. Steve’s eyes went wide as he remembered the event from a few years ago, “Baby brother is feral and there’s potentially a nymph that rejected him after she got free. Now go get your little water slut and both you and Johnny watch her. If he killed her there’s a good chance he’ll come for her next since he already knotted her.”

“We have to get into the house,” Steve warned as he came outside and stepped onto the dock. The water nymph looked curiously at him but said nothing. Johnny’s grip tightened on her, “guys. I’m not joking. Get inside.”

“What’s going on, Steve?”

“Jake’s feral…”

Johnny paled, and Steve knew that he was instantly thinking about the night a few years ago that forced Curtis and Ari to burn down Ari’s place and hide the body. His grip loosened as he stood Rain up and pushed her towards Steve, “what are you doing?”

“I won’t be any good protecting her,” Johnny admitted quickly, “if he comes back and he’s feral you’re going to be able to make sure he doesn’t hurt her…I’m going to go with Curtis and Ari and search the woods. They’ll need the extra set of eyes.”

Steve nodded, and Johnny raced towards the cabin where he already saw Curtis and Ari coming out with flashlights, tranquilizer guns, and rope. Rain looked to Steve, “where’s Ember? Is she okay?”

“Come inside, and I’ll explain everything, okay?” She nodded, taking his hand, and the two of them went into his room, Steve locking the door behind him. When he turned back around, she was sitting nervously on his bed, “Jake is feral…we think that Ember somehow tricked him into letting her go, and then Jake went after her…but there’s been a situation like this before.”

Rain paled and Steve sighed knowing what her next question was going to be.

“What kind of situation?”

“Jake murdered a rut bunny once…she-she wasn’t very kind to him,” Steve answered shortly, “Ari and Curtis took care of the body and burned down Ari’s house, where it happened…”

Rain looked scared, “but Ember…”

“Jake wouldn’t intentionally hurt Ember…okay?”

She bit her lip, “then why did your brothers leave with guns?”

“Tranquilizers…” Steve corrected, “Jake…he can become a little unstable, and the last time he gave Ari and Curtis some scars…they’re just covering their bases…listen, Rain…I’m sure that Ember is perfectly fine.”

She shuddered at the thought of what was going on in the forest, beyond the cabin doors. Steve sat down beside her, and she immediately started crying into his chest, “hey…hey. It’s okay bunny.”

“Y-you’ll protect me…right?” she asked pitifully. Steve nodded at the sweet water nymph, stroking her face, “You’ll keep me safe from him, right master?”

“I’ll keep you safe, little bunny,” he nodded in agreement, “I promise.”

Rain nodded, kissing him. Steve shivered into the kiss. Her lips were soft and slightly wet, but she was cold. She seemed to notice that he’d figured she was cold, and she pressed her body against his, “S-Steve…I’m scared.”

“It’s okay,” he cooed, pulling her tight against his frame. She began to nuzzle at him, and it made Steve’s inner lion stretch and wake up. He began to purr at the contact, “hey…uhm, maybe that’s not the best idea right now.”

Her eyes went wide as she looked at him, “why not? D-don’t you want me close to you, master?”

“That’s not it,” Steve pointed out, “I just…you’re doing some things that are considered come-ons with a big cat…”

“Oh.”

Her large doe eyes weren’t lost on Steve as she looked so innocent in his lap. And neither was the mischievous glint in her eyes as she wiggled her hips on his lap, making his cock twitch. Steve shuddered, “Rain…”

“Would you like to warm me up, master,” she asked thoughtfully, her eyes gesturing to his bed, “I did go for a swim, and I’m awfully cold now.”

A purr rose deep in Steve’s chest and he looked at her. He knew what she was asking for. His cock twitched in his pants once more. He wanted to give it to her…but he was afraid. Afraid of how she would react. That she would be terrified of how different sex with him would be from the nymphs she’d been with, or even from Jake.

“Rain.”

But his voice was unsure. And she noticed as he seemed to be lost in his thoughts once more. The conversation from earlier replayed in his mind. The fear in her eyes, the slight break in her voice.

“I want to.”

Those three words broke Steve from his self-doubt. He looked at Rain. And while she did look afraid, it was the lust that had his lion roaring at him to pounce.

“Are you sure?”

She wanted him.

She needed him.

“You’re afraid.” She asked. He nodded, and she swept her fingers underneath his chin, forcing him to look at her, “let me take care of you then?”

Steve bit his lip, “I-I don’t know if that’s a good idea, Rain.”

But he let her push him back onto the bed. Let her unbutton his jeans and grasp his half-hard cock over his boxers. She nuzzled against his neck once more. He hissed from the pressure she was using on his cock, as she removed her hand, then slid it beneath the boxers so that she could stroke him.

“Let me take care of you master,” she pled, sliding off of his bed and onto her knees in front of him. She pulled down his jeans and boxers, ripping them off his body, and began to kiss along his inner thigh as she stroked his length, “let me make you feel better.”

Steve moaned; his eyes fluttering closed momentarily as he let himself enjoy her. It had been so long since someone had wanted to be with him. And feeling her small hands wrapped around his shaft only stoked the fire in his belly.

“Wait!” he said quickly, his hand wrapping over hers, “I-we should use a condom…I-I don’t want to spi-“

“I want to make you feel good,” she whimpered, staring at the horny lion. Another purr began to bubble in the back of his throat, “let me make you feel good, master.”

“Steve,” he begged, moaning his own name, “I-I don’t want you to call me master, not right now…”

“Steve,” she moaned softly, shimmying up his legs. She moved fluidly until she was on his lap once again, “do you want to be inside of me, Steve? Do you want to feel me?”

Steve nodded, his eyes hooded as she rubbed her slick folds over his length, “yes. Please, Rain. I need to feel you.”

Steve shuddered as she sank down onto his length without hesitation. His jaw fell slack as Rain’s small hands ran down his chest. He could feel her nails, lightly grazing over his abs, and he fought every instinct not to mark her up. Not to let his claws sink into her tiny thighs, or her pert little ass. Steve growled as his hips rut up into her, “oh, Steve. That’s it, baby. Use me. I’m your little toy. I belong to you.”

‘My little toy.’

His lion purred heavily at the thought.

‘She’s mine…’

She wanted him to use her. She wanted him to be rough with her. But as he opened his eyes, he couldn’t do it. He didn’t want to drive her away.

“Bunny…”

“Use me Steve,” she mewled, her hips rolling to meet his. Her hands went around his neck, and he growled as her nails scratched down his back. It drove his lion into a frenzy, “I can take it…I can ta-FUCK!”

Her eyes rolled into the back of her head and Steve felt her cunt clench around him as his claws scratched at her hips. Little rivulets of blood trickled from the fresh claw marks and Steve grunted, his thrusts becoming harder. His cock reaching just a bit deeper. Her moans became louder, and Steve flipped them over, not able to control himself when she bit into his shoulder.

“FUCK!” he hissed, instantly reaching down to her neck. He grabbed the thin column of her throat and squeezed it just enough to restrict her airflow. But also to make sure he didn’t mark her if he lost himself. He bit her collarbone instead, hard enough to draw blood, nipping at her shoulders. As the claws on one hand began working on her opposite hip, the he fought himself not to dig his claws into her nek.

With a roar his hand flew to her ass, and he began pummeling into her core even harder. He let his claws dig into her ass as his cock speared into her.

She screamed, but it wasn’t in pain. Steve stopped nipping at her to look deep into her eyes. There was a fire that burned within them that drove Steve wild. It made his lion purr loudly and he stabbed into her with a renewed vigor.

The urge was there. The primordial calling.

He needed to spine her. Needed to fill her up.

“S-Steve…please,” she whimpered, her cunt clenching around him. She was thrown into an orgasm when Steve bit her nipple, drawing more blood. And that was when he realized it was too late. He couldn’t stop as instinct took over and his pelvis stuttered against hers. He felt the spines give way as he reached impossibly deep, the head of his cock nuzzling her cervix as he emptied himself into her womb, “FUCK! THERE! THERE!”

And Steve bit down on her shoulder once more, nuzzling the fresh blood that came from the wound, painting his face and her body with it as he locked himself in her. He clung to her body impossibly tight, his lion needing to be as close as it could be.

“Fuck,” Steve growled, clinging to her small frame. His eyes were attached to the blissed out expression on her face as he licked the wounds on her jaw. He was purring loudly against her, the vibrations making her clench around him, sending aftershocks down his shaft. Steve was in heaven as he muttered against her neck, “I love you, little bunny.”

#fated au #fated #steve rogers #marvel #marvel au #captain america #werelion #water nymph #ari levinson #red sea diving resort #curtis everett #snowpiercer au #snowpiercer #selkie #werebear

34 notes · View notes