#there is YEARS worth of lore between these two that will never see the light of day so we take what we can outside of my den of horrors

[hlkproductions]

it's been 48 years........ billvy has returned.

[wchswift]

─── SO HIGH SCHOOL

pairing: dean winchester x fem!reader

summary: As teenagers, you and Dean had a whirlwind romance before everything fell apart. Years later, you reunite—and it’s like high school all over again.

contents! mutual pining, teenage love, soft, flirting and touching, stupid in love dean, mdni 𖤐 18+

word count: 2.8k

𝒟ean masterlist !

Dean was the first and only real love you had.

Well, not exactly real. And maybe not exactly love.

He was the good part of your day. That person you knew would be there. The person who made school possible and tolerable.

Dean was always known for his charm, for his way with girls. For always having them. But the moment Dean joined your group of friends and you two became even remotely close, it was as if something, a connection, that you didn't know could exist, finally made itself present within you.

It wasn't something verbalized, something explicit. But as soon as you had your first kiss, there was no one else. No other girl in school had a chance with him. He wouldn't let you go, and much less took his eyes off you.

Everything felt so real. Even if it was just between the lines.

He was the best "relationship" you ever had. The best moments and the best treatment you had from a boy were with Dean Winchester.

And then just as it all began, suddenly he wasn't there anymore.

One night you two were together in the back seat of the car and the next morning he was gone from town, without any explanation.

And when you were seventeen, that was the last time you saw Dean.

You and Dean were sure you would never see each other again. You were teenagers, it was normal. People come and go from school all the time, it was common to meet people at school and then never see them again, never find out how they are.

This is what you and Dean thought things would be like. Just a memory that would fade in time. Never having to worry about looking each other in the eye again.

But when was anything ever simple in Dean Winchester's life?

A case never ended up being just a case.

The small town didn’t exactly scream "monster hotspot," but something was definitely off. Three people had vanished without a trace in the past two months, all last seen at the same place—a cozy little diner on Main Street that doubled as a bookstore. The place was old-school charming, the kind of spot with checkered floors, the scent of fresh coffee in the air, and a tiny bell over the door that jingled whenever a customer walked in. Nothing about it screamed "supernatural danger," but Dean had learned long ago that the worst things often hid in the most ordinary places.

“Alright, so we got three missing persons, no bodies, and a common location,” Sam said, flipping through his notes. “No signs of struggle, no EMF spikes, no sulfur. If it’s something supernatural, it’s keeping a low profile.”

Dean tapped his fingers against the Impala’s steering wheel, squinting at the diner across the street. “Or it’s just smart. Maybe a witch, maybe something we haven’t seen before.”

Sam sighed. “So, the usual—talk to employees, check out security footage, dig through lore?”

Dean smirked. “Aw, you're so smart, Sammy.”

With that, they climbed out of the car and crossed the street, the bell over the door announcing their arrival. The place was warm and inviting, filled with the quiet hum of conversation and the soft crackle of pages turning. Dean barely had time to take it all in before his gaze landed on someone behind the counter.

He recognized you instantly. There wouldn't be a day that he wouldn't.

You were busy jotting something down, focused on a customer, completely unaware of him—at first. Dean’s stomach tightened, his pulse kicking up. It had been years, but damn if you wasn’t still the same girl he remembered—just sharper, more grown-up, but still you. The girl who had once snuck out of your house to meet him, who had laughed against his lips under the Friday night stadium lights, who had looked at him like he was worth something—until he left without saying goodbye.

When you lifted your head, ready to serve the new customers, that’s when you saw him.

For a second, just a second, your eyes met, and he saw it: the flicker of recognition, the moment your heart probably dropped into your stomach the same way his had.

To this day, Dean always remembers the way you used to look at him. The sparkle in your eyes, the way they seemed to smile, emanating happiness and trust.

Just seeing you made him feel as if he were in high school again.

And now? Now you were standing behind the counter, your apron tied around your waist, a pen tucked behind your ear, looking at him like you weren’t sure whether to punch him or pretend he didn’t exist.

Dean opened his mouth, but for once in his life, words failed him.

“Oh, you have got to be kidding me,” you finally muttered, eyes narrowing.

Sam cleared his throat. "Uh, Dean—?"

“Yeah, yeah, I got it, Sammy.” Dean snapped out of it, forcing a grin. “Long time, no see, sweetheart.”

"Didn’t think I’d ever see you again, Winchester.” Your voice was calm, even, but there was an edge to it, a quiet challenge. "Guess life’s full of surprises."

Dean exhaled through his nose, rubbing the back of his neck. "Yeah… guess it is."

Sam, ever the unfortunate third wheel, glanced between them and shifted uncomfortably. "Uh, we’re actually here about the disappearances. We’re—"

"FBI?" you cut in, lifting a brow. "Do you want me to believe that you two are FBI?"

Dean had to bite back a smirk. Of course you weren’t buying their act. You had always been sharp. Always saw right through him.

Sam hesitated. "We just have a few questions."

You sighed, tapping your fingers against the counter before jerking your chin toward an empty booth in the corner. "Fine. Take a seat. I’ll be over in a minute."

Dean watched as you turned on your heel, disappearing into the back. Only when you were out of sight did he let out a slow breath, dragging a hand down his face.

“Well,” Sam muttered, “that wasn’t awkward at all.”

Dean ignored him, eyes still locked on the door you had just walked through.

Yeah. This case just got a hell of a lot more complicated.

Only to get better, when you return, you decided to act as if he didn't exist. There was no sign of recognition on your face. No lingering shock, no flicker of emotion. Just cool, effortless professionalism, like you didn’t just have the wind knocked out of you moments ago.

A notebook is in your hand now, the pen twirling between your fingers as you slide into the seat across from them. Your eyes flick briefly to Sam—acknowledging him first, like Dean isn’t even there.

“So,” you say, tone even. “What exactly do you want to know? If this is about the disappearances, let me say I don’t know much. Just that they all came in here before they went missing. We gave their names to the cops already”

Dean leaned in, arms folding as he tilted his head slightly. “You always this helpful, sweetheart?”

The nickname made your eye twitch—barely.

You finally, finally glanced at him, and for a second, all he could see was the fire behind your gaze.

“I try my best, agent.” Your lips curled in something that wasn’t quite a smile. “Anything else?”

Sam cleared his throat, glancing between the two of you, clearly picking up on the weird energy but too polite, more like too damn confused, to say anything. “Uh—right. But anything else you might’ve noticed? Strange behavior? Anyone bothering them?”

You exhaled through your nose. “Not that I remember.”

Feeling that with all this tension he wasn't going to get anywhere, Sam decided to stop there. “Alright, I think that’s all we need for now, then. If you remember anything else, let us know.”

With a nod, you began to rise from your seat, your body moving almost instinctively as you embraced the end of the conversation. “Sure thing."

As Dean watched you walk back to the counter, he couldn't believe you acted as if he wasn’t even there. However, if you thought that was the end of it, you were mistaken. Now that Dean had found you again, he wasn’t planning to just walk away. Not this time.

“Dude,” Sam muttered, voice low, snapping Dean out of his reverie. “What the hell was that?”

Dean exhaled through his nose, shaking his head. “It’s complicated.”

Sam frowned. “Yeah, no kidding. You gonna fill me in?”

Dean didn’t answer right away, just watched as you disappeared through the swinging door behind the counter.

He used to love watching you walk away. Now it just felt like he was losing you all over again.

After a beat, he pushed up from the booth. “I’ll be back.”

Sam sighed. “Dean—”

But Dean was already moving.

The back door of the diner led to a narrow hallway—one he knew you’d taken to get a breather. It was quieter back here, the hum of conversation fading into a dull murmur.

And sure enough, there you were.

Your hands braced on the edge of a small counter, eyes closed, breathing deep. He knew that look. Knew you were trying to steady yourself, get your walls up before he could knock them down.

Too late.

“Still not gonna look at me?”

Your shoulders tensed at his voice, but you didn’t turn. “What do you want, Dean?”

He leaned against the doorframe, arms folding. “Oh, I dunno. Maybe a little acknowledgment? A hey, Dean, long time no see. Thought you were dead or in jail—”

“Wouldn’t have been surprised.”

Dean let out a sharp breath, a humorless smirk twitching at his lips. “Yeah, well. Didn’t end up that way.”

Silence.

You reached up, rubbing your temple, like talking to him was physically painful.

And hell, maybe it was.

After a beat, you finally turned to face him, arms crossing. Your eyes were sharp, guarded. But there was something else beneath it. Something raw.

“Why are you here, Dean?”

His chest ached at the way you said his name. Not like you used to—soft, familiar, like it meant something. Now it just sounded… tired.

“Job brought us here,” he said, keeping it simple.

You studied him, unconvinced. “And what? You thought, hey, let’s stop by and ruin her day while we’re at it?”

Dean huffed a dry laugh, shaking his head. “Yeah, because that’s what I wanted. To see you look at me like I’m a damn ghost.”

You flinched. It was quick—so quick he almost missed it. But he didn’t.

And suddenly, the fight drained out of you. Your gaze dropped for the first time since this whole thing started, fingers tightening against your sleeves.

Dean’s throat worked.

He could push. Could try to get you to really talk, break down that wall you were building brick by brick.

But the way you looked right now? Like you were holding yourself together with nothing but sheer will—

He couldn’t do it.

Not yet.

Instead, he exhaled, running a hand down his face. “Look. I don’t know how long we’ll be in town. But I think we’re gonna be crossing paths whether you like it or not.”

You didn’t move. Didn’t answer.

Dean nodded, stepping back. “Just… don’t pretend I was never here, alright?”

And with that, he walked away.

He didn’t see the way your jaw clenched, the way your fingers curled into fists like you were stopping yourself from reaching out—

Didn’t hear the breath you let out, shaky and uneven, as soon as he was gone.

You knew this wasn’t the end—couldn’t be. Deep down, you knew that your story with Dean Winchester was far from over. And you knew that the moment he decided to see you again, he would pull you close once more, weaving his way into your heart until you could never imagine leaving his side again.

Weeks passed.

Looking back, you weren’t sure when exactly everything shifted.

Maybe it was after Dean came back to the diner and made you listen while he told you the truth—even though at the time you were sure that the man you once loved was completely insane.

But maybe it was when you started helping with the case, and somewhat believing him—not because you wanted to be a hunter, but because you wanted to be with him.

Or maybe it was just inevitable. Like gravity pulling you back into his orbit, like you never really had a choice in the first place.

All you knew was that, suddenly, it felt like before—like sneaking out past curfew, like warm summer air and stolen kisses in the Impala, like every love song that made your chest ache.

Only now, you weren’t kids anymore.

And Dean Winchester had never been the kind of guy to love halfway.

Which was how you ended up here.

Sitting in a diner, trying to pretend like Dean’s hand wasn’t sliding up your thigh under the table.

Across from you, Sam exhaled sharply through his nose. His patience was wearing thin.

“Dude,” he gritted out, glaring at Dean. “Can you stop touching her for five seconds?”

Dean, the picture of innocence, took a sip of his coffee. “I have no idea what you’re talking about, Sammy.”

Sam’s expression was pained.

You bit your lip to keep from laughing, but when Dean leaned in—his lips brushing your ear when he definitely didn’t need to be that close—you swatted at his chest.

“Dean.”

“What?” He smirked, not even pretending to be sorry. “Just admiring my girl.”

Sam muttered something under his breath that sounded a lot like I hate this.

But it only got worse from there.

Dean was relentless.

His hands were always on you—an arm wrapped around your waist, fingers playing with the hem of your shirt, palm resting low on your back. He kissed your temple absentmindedly, whispered things that made you flush, smirked when he caught you looking at him like you still had a teenage crush on Dean Winchester.

Because you did.

You always had.

Later, at Bobby’s, the three of you sprawled in the living room—Dean practically wrapped around you on the couch, arms snug around your waist, his breath warm against your neck.

Sam was across the room, doing some research on his laptop, eyes glued to the screen as if sheer focus could block out the absolute nonsense happening beside him.

Dean, completely unbothered, nosed at your temple. “You cold?”

You weren’t.

At all.

But you hummed innocently, just to see what he’d do.

Dean, ever the problem, tugged you closer, his hands sliding beneath the hem of your sweater, tracing slow, lazy circles against your skin.

You shivered.

He felt it.

And he smirked.

“You’re shameless,” you whispered, biting your bottom lip to repress a smile.

Dean nipped at your jaw. “Yeah?” His lips brushed your ear, and God, you felt it everywhere.

“Hey.” His voice was quiet, meant just for you. “Wanna know somethin’?”

You swallowed. “What?”

Dean shifted, his mouth so close his breath fanned warm against your skin. “First time I saw you? When we were stupid teenagers?” His hands traced higher, fingers barely grazing the edge of your bra. “Damn near forgot how to breathe.”

Your stomach plummeted.

“Dean.”

“Mm?”

Your heart hammered, but you fought to keep your voice steady. “Sam is right there.”

Dean pulled back just enough to glance at his brother—who was clearly tuning you out, laser-focused on not acknowledging this entire situation.

“If he has a problem, he can get up and leave.”

You swatted at his chest, biting back a laugh, but when you turned to face him, his expression shifted—no teasing, no smugness. Just him, looking at you like he was seeing you all over again.

His fingers brushed your jaw, tilting your chin up.

And just like that, you felt seventeen again.

God, what was it about him that made you feel like this?

That made you ache?

Dean’s lips parted, his gaze flickering down to your mouth.

Your breath caught.

He grinned—slow, lazy, devastating. “You gonna let me kiss you, sweetheart?”

You were sure your heartbeat was so loud.

Sam made a strangled noise in the background.

Dean groaned, dropping his head back against the couch. “Jesus Christ, Sammy, just leave the damn room.”

“I'm living here too,” Sam deadpanned, not directing his gaze towards you.

Dean huffed, shaking his head before turning back to you—his eyes darker now, filled with something deep and warm and completely unshakable.

You swallowed, fingers twisting in the fabric of his shirt.

This man knew what he wanted and, boy, he definitely got you.

But God, Dean Winchester was so much. And he had been from the start.

And you were so gone for him.

𖤐 reblogs and feedback are appreciated! requests are also welcome, ty!

lina's notes: I should have posted this a long time ago lol, but it didn't turn out exactly how I wanted and I was a little unsure but I hope you liked it <3

taglist: @lyarr24 @cowboysandcigarettes @blossomingorchids @bettystonewell @rositaslabyrinth @iloveeveryoneyoureamazing @freeluigihesbae (if you want to be removed or added let me know <3)

[gotta-winwin]

(🐍) ... minghao x reader

⭐ starring: minghao

💌 genre/wc: angst, light fluff / 1.2k

💬 preview: you stumble across old records from a damaged diary that seems to hold the conversations between a student and a boy living within the pages.

tw/cw: slytherin!minghao x hufflepuff!reader, diary format, spoliers for the chamber of secrets, needs previous knowledge of hp lore, abstract death, tom riddle appearance

🪽fic rating: pg

☁️ masterlist & a/n: this has been sitting in my drafts for weeks and i'm putting it out in hopes of giving myself some time to work on other stuff hehe. this one's a bit experimental with the format but hope you all enjoy!

p.s thank you so much to @ylangelegy and @diamonddaze01 for beta reading !

hello. fifth year slytherin, here. i found this journal lying in one of the professor’s cupboards - long abandoned, it seems. it looks to contain the mad ramblings of two people, conversing through the pages. i cannot seem to figure out who this once belonged to, pages have been torn out and blurred by water - so i’m writing in hopes another student might. 

read it, and let me know if anything comes to mind. 

if i have to sit through another class with professor bins, i will avada myself. 

finally, something worth replying to. your class notes are utterly boring. 

WHAT THE FUCK THE BOOK SPEAKS

…yes, i speak. 

go away. you’re speaking over my class notes. 

they weren’t good notes anyways. barely competent. abysmally below average. 

i cannot believe i’m being insulted by a book right now.

i cannot believe my pristine pages are being vandalized by an incompetent student, yet here we are. 

mr. book, 

what. 

shut up.

mr. book,

what is it now, incompetent student? 

can you write my notes for me. pls pls pls i will owe you for life.

that is a very dangerous game to play. 

my hand hurts. and you keep saying you’re so smart. write my notes for me.

what house are you in?

hufflepuff. why? 

no. i will not write your notes for you. 

bro. 

what is a bro ?? 

you know what, never mind. i’ll write them myself. i hope the ink drowns you. 

incompetent student  hufflepuff girl y/n?? respond to me now. 

yes, book?

MY NAME IS NOT BOOK 

you refused to tell me your name so i’m sticking with book. mr. book. 

can you go to the dungeon bathroom and check one of the faucets for me. 

uh. why? 

because i said so. 

i’m going to waterboard your pages.

you’re quite snappy for a hufflepuff. just go check. 

say please.

no. 

i’m holding a cup of water above you right now.  hello? mr. book?

please. check the faucets. 

see? wasn’t so difficult. i’ll go now.

minghao. 

what? 

my name. stop calling me mr. book

MINGHAOOO

what. 

i’m bored. 

silly girl. and what am i supposed to do about that?

tell me about yourself. when were you at hogwarts? 

a long time ago. 

psh. of course i know that. 

professor bins was still alive when he taught me. just as boring, trust me. 

ooo what else? who were your friends? anyone famous? 

i wouldn’t know. i never graduated. 

what? 

the faucet. did you check? 

i did. there’s like a snake or something, but it didn’t do anything. 

oh. y/n? 

yeah? 

don’t go to that bathroom anymore. 

why?

just don’t. 

hao. people are saying there’s a snake in the walls. 

what do you mean?

there was blood on the walls too. talking about the chamber of secrets. 

fuck. 

minghao? do you know something? 

don’t go anywhere alone. promise me. stay with your friends. 

i’m scared

you should be.

stop that. 

what? hao? 

grown fond of your little friend, xu minghao? 

tom. stop.  i’m sorry, my heart. ignore him. 

who? hao, what is going on?

has he neglected to tell you? he isn’t the only inhabitant of this journal. and turns out, he isn’t strong enough to silence me.  keep hiding, y/n. i’ll find you soon enough. 

hao? 

i’m sorry.

i think i’m starting to go a bit crazy. 

is everything alright? are you safe? 

i’m fine, hao. you worry too much. 

i must admit that i’ve grown fond of you. 

even if i’m a hufflepuff? 

you’re the most tolerable hufflepuff i know. 

:)  is the uh. tom guy still with us?

my magic suppresses him in short periods of time. we’re alone at the moment. 

i still don’t understand. both of you are…inside the book. 

tom was here first. the journal was given to me my fifth year, and i spoke to him - much like you right now. from what i’ve gathered, this journal holds a piece of his soul. and a piece of mine as well. 

how? why? 

[redacted] [redacted] 

you are beginning to care for the girl.

i admit she has grown on me.

no. you’ve grown to love her. our souls are intertwined whether you enjoy it or not. do not pretend i cannot feel your emotions. 

have mercy.  spare her. 

are you finally regretting your choice, xu minghao?  you once promised me a life in exchange for your life and access to your soulmate. so i spared you, and stored you here with me.

please. 

this is what greed gets you, my dear friend.  you promised me a life. and i choose hers.

please. 

finally. you learn to beg. 

she is innocent. 

she is your soulmate. the strongest magic our world has. and for that, she is valuable. 

my heart. 

hao? 

i need you to destroy this journal. now.  

what? why? 

tom must be stopped. i will not let him harm you. destroying the journal will destroy his soul too.

but you’re in the journal too.

yes. a small price to pay for your life. 

i won’t do it. 

you must.

no. i’m not killing you.

i’ve been dead for a long time, my heart. 

i won’t. you cannot make me. 

you’re wetting the pages with your tears. stop crying. 

hao…

do it. just because the journal is gone doesn’t mean i won’t be with you. every step of the way. 

how cute. 

note: 

> xu minghao: previous slytherin student, renowned potion student. his name is on one of the potion award plaques in the great hall. he died during the second opening of the chamber of secrets, an underground location rumoured to house the slytherin basilisk. 

> y/n: referred to as ‘my heart,’ there is no real indication of who she is. while there is a professor portrait in the headmaster’s office who shares the same name, i cannot be certain they are the same person. 

> tom: he can only be assumed as he-who-shall-not-be-named, a dark wizard who was killed by the-boy-who-lived years ago. 

note: 

> the pages are burnt at the edges, erasing most of the conversation that would allow this to make more sense. it is clear to me that someone destroyed this. 

note: 

> i found something when searching the bathroom mentioned in the first couple entries. i will clip it here. 

is he gone?

for now. i cannot contain him for much longer. you must hurry.

you cannot expect me to do this.

from the short time i’ve come to know you, i know that despite being a hufflepuff, you hold the courage of a gryffindor, the brains of ravenclaw, the wit of a slytherin.  do not be afraid. 

are you not afraid? this could kill you.

i have to admit a part of me still fears death after all this time.  but this is my price to pay. i love you, even in the short time we had. 

i love you. even if this version of you is only a figment of what you were. 

note: 

> a point i must bring up: minghao refers to y/n as ‘my heart.’ at first i thought it was just a term of endearment, but upon further research:  Soulmates are rare in the wizarding world, although not at all impossible. Soulmates share more than their magic, they share their hearts. One cannot die if the other is still alive -- making soulmates the most powerful form of magic to exist. It may be the only way to cheat death without the use of a horcrux.

[kolbisneat]

MONTHLY MEDIA: November 2024

A busy work month so not as much reading and watching as I would've liked, but still managed to find some good stuff! Here's how I spend the month of November.

……….FILM……….

She's All That (1999) I was never really into teen comedies as a teen but I vaguely remember seeing this. Actually all I remember is the pubic hair pizza scene. Now, as an adult, I appreciate the bit where the dad keeps confidently answering Jeopardy! questions wrong and the prom photography saying "there's a memory". Great stuff.

End of Evangelion (1997) For what it's worth, I liked the original ending to the series. It really moved away from the premise and dipped into philosophy 101 by the end, but that last episode at least wrapped up Shinji's arc. This movie? This undoes all of that and really seems to hate its characters. Just a miserable experience with some really great visuals (and also some really repulsive ones). Not for me and a real bummer.

……….TELEVISION……….

Nobody Wants This (Episode 1.01 to 1.10) Turns out watching two charming people fall in love is great television. I hope the second season shifts to focus more on Joanne's world. I ALSO hope the loser siblings remain platonic to show that it is possible to maintain friendships with the opposite gender.

Arcane (Season 2.01 to 2.03) Having never played the show, I always feel like I'm understanding 10% of what's going on. But dang if the visuals aren't stunning. I mean I GENERALLY understand what's going one, but with so many intertwining plots, I feel like I'm often missing how they all tie together. Will probably do a full series rewatch after I wrap up season 2.

Dan Da Dan (Season 1.05 to 1.09) The show I most look forward to watching each week. Everything is so heightened and light that each episode just breezes by. And as someone who loves a world with lore and rules, this has that in spades. Great stuff.

……….YOUTUBE……….

How Jordan Peterson's Suits Taught Me Fashion by CJ the X An excellent study in history and self expression featuring a great interview with Derek Guy (also worth checking out is this podcast episode featuring Derek). VIDEO

You Don't Need Any More Turkey Recipes by Internet Shaquille You don't always need to do something new. It's okay to repeat and perfect. Sometimes making something familiar is the most radical thing you can do. VIDEO

……….READING……….

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo by Stiegg Larson (Complete) Based on how many used copies I see at thrift stores, I knew this was popular, but wasn't at all expecting it to be as good as it was! Two great lead characters and I'm looking forward to digging into their next adventure. Oh and definitely checking out the film adaptations!

William Gibson's Alien 3 by William Gibson and Johnnie Christmas (Complete) Having never seen Alien 3, I'm happy to simply accept this as the third entry. I found the visual similarities between the two main locations made it tricky to keep track of where I was and who I was following, but I think a second readthrough would help clear it all up. An excellent continuation of the characters you know and love from Alien and Aliens.

……….AUDIO……….

From Zero by Linkin Park (2024) Went into this with a morbid curiosity. While I didn't keep up with Linkin Park, I was surprised by how much Emily Armstrong sounded like a natural fit. Do I like this new album? I don't know yet, but is it Linkin Park? Absolutely.

……….GAMING……….

Wonderland: A Fantasy Role-Playing Setting (Andrews McMeel Publishing) Hey this finally got released this month! The Tuesday crew continues to scratch the surface and you can read all about it here.

Neverland: A Fantasy Role-Playing Setting (Andrews McMeel Publishing) Back to where it all started. The group is reassembling a cursed skeleton they scattered years ago. You can ALSO read all about it here.

And that's it. See you in December!

[memorymessage]

you know what's funny? i didn't even care that much about the plot with godwyn becoming the death prince, and never thought too deeply about the implied close relationship between godwyn, miquella, and malenia. they were neat subtle plotpoints that i appreciated, but didn't delve any deeper into beyond the surface level in-game presentations.

even with that in mind, i still thought for sure—FOR SURE—that we would be getting more information about these plots in the DLC.

and now that we didn't? i am slowly becoming obsessed with godwyn, and his relationship with the cursed twins.

it's like my brain is in disbelief. as soon as we got that DLC teaser picture with miquella, i just unconsciously believed that everything involving miquella would be explored, including the castle sol godwyn plot, and the (assumed) godwyn statue sheltering the twins in haligtree town.

and now that miyazaki has tentatively announced that there are no further plans for elden ring (at least currently), i'm struggling to parse that there will be questions left forever unanswered.

to be noted: i'm not new to souls. i've been playing these games for a decade, and quite thoroughly lost myself in bloodborne lore for a good few years when it came out. i am very, very used to the standard vague and open-to-interpretation style of storytelling, and environmental storytelling.

however, it's worth it to note that elden ring is the first time we've had such a hefty, cohesive storyline. and yet, i feel the gaps in the narrative are far more empty and lacking than in any souls game prior.

it's hard to explain in text, but my analogy of soulsborne lore is a tray of cupcakes with a very light amount of sprinkles spread evenly with careful intent over each cupcake. and er lore is a tray of cupcakes where most of the cupcakes are doused in sprinkles—sometimes too many sprinkles—and there's a couple cupcakes left that only have one or two sprinkles, otherwise barren.

does that make sense?! like, the gaps in the storyline are just so uneven. we get an overabundance of narrative in some areas, and have major gaps in others.

i guess i was more interested in the godwyn storyline than i even realized. i always thought of it as an unresolved plot, but was thoroughly self-assured we would be seeing more of it. and...we didn't! and i'm frustrated!

[checkoutmybookshelf]

Teenage Vampires Meet Jane Austen

There is a danger of decrying all vampire YA books released in the 2000s as mere Twilight Saga clones, but Beth Fantaskey's (and if ever an author had a vampire novel writing last name, she does!) novel was published in 2000, and Twilight wasn't released until 2005. So please, no comparisons between these two books--they're sufficiently different that they deserve to be discussed on their own merits. Honestly, I kind of wish that Fantaskey's books had blown up and become the mainstream YA vampire duology of the 2000s, but a girl can't have everything. Let's talk the marvelous mix of Jane Austen and vampire lore that is Jessica's Guide to Dating on the Dark Side.

Right off the top, this book has startlingly excellent adoption representation. Jessica is adopted, and she has a phenomenal relationship with her adoptive parents. She is unconditionally loved and supported, she is happy, there is great parent-child communication, and there is exactly zero resentment or hesitation once Jessica is ready to explore her birth parents--she is supported in that too. She struggles with her adoption circumstances specifically, but even that is handled well--who wouldn't struggle with being adopted as an infant to avoid being murdered alongside their family? I was pleasantly surprised to find such great representation, and it serves the story equally well, given how objectively abusive and cruel Lucius's biological family is. This tends not to be something I see a lot in SFF (you could argue for found family doing similar things, but this is an explicit adoption story in the 2000s, so I think that gets its own literary area), and I loved how well it was handled.

So who are Jessica and Lucius?

Jessica was born in Romania as Antanasia to the Dragomir royal vampire family. However, she grew up as Jessica Packwood, daughter of a university professor and a hippie in Southern America, a mathelete, and a 4H horsewoman who isn't a half bad jumper. She's not popular at school but she has her best friend, her mathelete colleagues, and even a boy who is a little bit interested in her as she learns to be more assertive with her worth and skills--again, supported wholeheartedly by her parents.

Then Lucius Vladescu rocks into town and pulls a Heathcliff out on the moors at her bus stop on the first day of senior year. That absolutely unmitigated dramatic flair is arguably a combination coping and rebellion methodbecause Lucius is the heir apparent to the Vladescu royal vampire family. He's basically a teenage angst version of a combination of Mr. Darcy and Heathcliff, and that in and of itself is the weirdest combination of chivalrous, assholeish, dutiful, and "let it burn." It's unusual for me to say that the male lead in a YA vampire romance is actually fascinating, but watching Lucius try to burn down the status quo as hard as he can while also trying to stop things from catching fire as hard as he can is never not interesting.

In addition to Jessica and Lucius being genuinely interesting characters to follow, the book itself does the weirdest thing where it combines literary influences and allusions to Pride and Prejudice (in the form of Lucius's letters to his uncle and Jessica's resemblance to Lizzie), Wuthering Heights (in Lucius's *gestures broadly* and direct diegetic references to the novel that get a bit close to the heavy-handed line), and Dracula (in the general vampire aesthetics and the Vladescu vibes--I am super not speaking for the Dragomir family vibes, because that is just...yeah). Vampire and Gothic make sense together, but the Pride and Prejudice vibes just take this story and give it a bit of lightness that I wasn't expecting and frankly think works astoundingly well.

Overall, this book was a favorite of mine when I found it in high school, and I cannot recommend it enough. It's part one of a duology, so be sure to follow it up with Jessica Rules the Dark Side.

[psylockexs]

New players on the board

Morgyn wasn't sure if Mikhail had a few loose screws in his head after hearing about their dinner plans. However, it was still the period for Solstice festivities as the new year was a few days away. The group needed some down time as well since they were still fighting in the dark, to put it simply. Having to find an ancient deck of cards was one hardship, but to have Olive mess up one of their own was a different can of fish. Perhaps, it was time to think about who were their allies, if they even had any.

But, enough of those thoughts for one night. It was time for a (HOPEFULLY!) peaceful dinner at the local restaurant 😄.

https://on.soundcloud.com/cKVAQnBqQ5x61uKV7

The restaurant wasn't as fancy as it sounded, but it was quite pleasant. The lighting was welcoming, staff didn't keep smiles plastered on their faces. They weaved between tables, greeting the patrons and taking orders. That in itself was better than fake smiles 🤭.

The tables were nicely arranged as well. Niko picked a table that was near a window and some plants. Lorelei took a moment to sniff the air from the plants.

Lore: They smell fresh 😯.

Niko: nods while perusing the menu Yep. I guess they were put in over the last two weeks. I can still smell the fresh dew on them.

Morg: You can smell all that?

Niko: nods Lycans always have something unique to them. My pack's ability was that they could smell more than humans could. Hell, probably even better than a vampire at times.

Morg: Crazy. Which reminds me. Should I...tell them?

Morgyn looked at Mik in a questioning manner

Mik: Yeah, you should.

Morg: It seems my ancestry's a mess. Got a mix of humans, casters and vampires...well, according to Mikhail.

Lore: Really? That's a strange one. I mean, you just look normal to me.

Mik: See, that's the thing. I don't think any of us could sense it until I drained him this morning.

Lore: You gotta work on your wording, Mik shakes her head laughing

Mik: Maybe you should work on your interpretation 😉. Either way, it's something we gotta keep an eye on. And we should limit our contact with Olive. Whatever we need to do in this town, we do it alone from now on. If we need help, we'll have to outsource.

Niko: I agree with that. Although, don't consider the Specter kid as an anomaly. If I'm to bet, he's unaware of his mother's behavior. He might be useful.

Morg: True. Now, can we order? The smell is driving me nuts.

The waiters had warned them that the food could take a while to arrive as the place was quite busy. The wait was well worth it though. It was unlikely you'd find a place in Ravenwood that made garlic bread this good, or knew how to fry up chicken in batter to rival KFC. It was just what the folks needed after the grueling months they'd had 😄.

After they'd finished eating and paid the bill, Lorelei heard a familiar voice across the room, but couldn't recognize the other guy 🤔.

Mik: Hey, ain't that your boyfriend?

Lore: Neighbor, Mik and we're friends 😒.

Mik: Ehhhh I don't know. You don't look at him like a friend would. Who's the other hunk?

Lore: I don't know, never seen him before. Let's say hi.

Lore and Mikhail headed over to where Min-ho was chatting with the other guy. It was strange for Min-ho to be here just days after talking to Lorelei on the phone.

Lore: Min-ho! Hey!

Min: Lore? Fancy seeing you here! I thought you'd be at the club this evening! They kiss each other on the cheek

Lore: Heh, already been this week. It was Niko's idea to dine here tonight.

Min: Nice intuition then, I'd say 😉.

While the two friends caught up, the guy next to Min-ho seemed to have lost his voice. Any desire to talk vanished into thin air. The floor seemed way more interesting than Mikhail. Lorelei noticed the icy silence behind Min-ho, and decided to ease up the air.

Lore: Who's your friend, by the way? Lodger? 🤭

Min: Ha! You meet new people often, Lore? Gotta work on your intro, man!

Lore: My intro is just fine!

Min: Yeah? Well you scared my guy into staying silent. nods to him

Lore: offers her hand Lorelei 😊

Shin: 🤝Shin Taeyang. Sorry, I...don't do well with first meetings 😅.

Lore: Oh, don't sweat it. It can be overwhelming, I know that too well. Or were you intimidated by the redhead?

Shin: Umm, maybe? 😆

Mik: Damn, am I really that scary?

Min: Mmmm sometimes...

Lore felt her skin twitch as Taeyang shook her hand. She wasn't quite sure what that feeling was, especially since he was wearing gloves. There was nothing unusual about him, except his sleek looks. But then again, Lore seems to have a talent of drawing hot people around her 🤷‍♀️.

Lore: So, what brings you so far out, Min. With new company as well.

Min: Taeyang just got back from Tomarang. We've been buds a long time but we each went different countries for business.

Mik: Interesting. eyes him up and down

Tae: I needed a place to crash for a while, so called up Min. I didn't know he had such a large friend net. He used to be a loner!

Min: Ah ah ah! We're too sober for that kinda talk!

Tae: Hmph 😆.

Mik: Back to Lore's question. Little far from home.

Min: Honestly needed a change of scenery. I've celebrated New Year's in San My for so long, it no longer feels fun there. Out here though? It feels kinda special.

Lore: Yeah, I get that. Needed a breather from all this work that's just piling up and it won't seem to stop. A break is always welcome.

Min: nods Aight, I'd love to stay and catch up with you guys, but we gotta check into our hotel soon. looks towards Lore, then he mentally speaks to her I'll text you my room number. There's a reason me and Tae are here.

With that ominous message, Taeyang and Min-ho bade farewell to the others and headed for their hotel...

'Mmm. Delectable. Me first 😏.'

Upstairs in the restaurant

Mikhail and Lorelei walk back to tell the other two they're ready to go

Lore: Don't even think about it.

Mik: What?

Lore: You scared the poor guy speechless! You gotta work on that aura you give off.

Mik: I did nothing of the sort. He saw me and went quiet. Not my doing.

Lore: You still appear really intimidating though.

Mik: It's my natural charm, sweetie. What did Min-ho say? He's clearly not here for leisure.

Lore: He said he'll text me the room number so I can pop in. He seemed to be in his sentry mode.

Mik: He's on high alert?

Lore: Yep. Pretty sure I sensed someone similar to Olive here, but not sure. Anyway, I'll just wait for the text then see.

Mik: Mm. Or you could just talk in a dream and relay it to us. Surely you're just going to talk and not see what the new boy is packing. 😏

Lore: narrows her eyes You're unbearable, you know that?

Mik: You didn't deny it!

Lore: And you won't stop putting that idea in my head! You can't drain everyone you see, you know.

Mik: I'm a vampire, Lady Than. Not an incubus.

Lore: Having a hard time believing that! 🤭

Who knows? Maybe it is true, but that's small compared to what Min-ho and Taeyang are walking into 🤔.

[nightclimes]

ao3 wrapped: 1, 3, 12, 18

This got STUPIDLY LONG woops

1. How many words have you written this year?

I honestly cannot tell you.

If we go by AO3 statistics, it's 147,999. This is incorrect because it includes all of Bloodstains - which I wrote in 2022/23 and posted the final 8 chapters of it this year. That removed, it's 27,999... which is still incorrect because three of the remaining five fics posted I didn't write this year (one I was holding for my January 1st ouihaw tradition, another I left for a few months and came back to later to touch up and post, another is a very dusty threeway I wrote as concept exploration that I am even now still uncertain about) and i have fic yet to post this year. What is it about wraps and not including December...

The next number problem is... i write a lot of words on my phone. Some of these are musings and dialogue and whole passages which have successfully been incorporated into fic. Others are editing thoughts for things I haven't begun touching up in earnest. A significant number of these are never-see-the-light-of-day words that I don't ever intend to share; I genuinely do not know how many of these there are. Somewhere between 50-100k if i had to guess. (I know one of them is 30k because i checked when the notes app got extremely slow in loading it, lmao :'))

The actual number of words written this year, in documents, that I can feasibly track, is 93,899. This includes nanowrimo. This does not include two websites worth of notes, one which is around 9k words and the other in excess of 23k. Guess which of those isn't finished.

3. What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)?

almost crystal, almost ascian, an FF14 fic about a potential friendship and the parallels between Minfilia and the Crystal Exarch on The First.

Minfilia and her role in those 100 years before the wol arrives is not really explored in depth in game and the two of them are so similar and alone, pursuing the same end but with different means, and they didn't have to do what they did but they did. for the person that inspired, inspires them the most. Frankly I don't think she gets enough credit or consideration at all so this is me addressing the balance; and I still think about this fic often. I have inspired other people to think about this too and that's all I could ask for really. Forever feral about it.

I'm also really proud of lay your curses out to rest but for entirely differing reasons, because I really nailed the feeling and exploration of grief I was going for.

12. How many WIP's do you have in your docs for next year?

Let me answer this in a roundabout way: I want to post Midnight Hour (11k) - the final fic in the ongoing arc of Viper's Kiss - before the end of the month, so I can post the accompanying spice element (3k) on January 1st. See ouihaw fic tradition.

Then I have two more spicy fics to post at some point. I don't anticipate them needing much in the way of further edits, which is why they have escaped notes app purgatory and landed in their own shiny documents.

There is also. Zero spice. That I would like to free, I think. idk if I should change Ashe to be more generic, but it has some solid vibes. I just really like writing Ashe with women rediscovering their humanity, what can I say.

I guess Ashe site also counts for this question?? I wrote about half of it in October, took a break for Nano, didn't go back to it yet because I'm waiting for the new hero release next week, because Hazard effects a lot of what I previously wrote - she might have a whole person she knows in the roster that isn't the man who betrayed her - and I need to hear their interactions, as well as just, his in general. Because she's less out on a limb with her gang than she used to be. I also need to see if all the potential that could be given to her if she was utilised in lore has been transferred on to their new poster rebel and his found family instead. I'm not optimistic it hasn't because lol, she's a woman. Don't you dare forget about Ashe's familial relationship with an omnic, Blizzard. We'll see if I need to make angry grumblings.

I'm also going to start hopefully editing a 121k behemoth, Let's start some trouble, that I wrote in 2021, sometime next year. I read it back in September: my nonsense, she needs help. I have to rework a lot of motivations based on lore drops and me having written it way out of order. It's kind of daunting if I'm being honest; with my health I like to have at least a second round of edits done for the whole fic before dividing it into chunks of maybe four chapters at a time to fully focus on for final round to aid my poor memory and really get it right, but I might have to tackle this one chapter by chapter, which will make an upload schedule very erratic to say the least, and again, my memory is poor...

18. The character that gave you the most trouble writing this year?

Amélie. She isn't difficult for me to write at this point, but writing Amélie is always slow because she's very methodical and precise and kind of blunt - one word sentences, less is more, very felt. Ashe in comparison is very breezy? It's less a trouble thing and more just specifics. Sometimes writing Amélie going through the human experience requires me to be in an exact mood, or sit and painstakingly pick raw words to use, or to wait for the Amélie Hours to even try, which are usually in the middle of the night. She is simply a unique challenge.

Only the best for my love, though. She deserves it.

[nickymortis]

A Blast from the Past: Alone in the Dark 2024 Edition

The phrase "alone in the dark" seriously gives me the creeps, especially when I'm trying to resist the urge to buy Xbox games. Watching The Shining again recently, I couldn't shake the image of Jack Nicholson standing solo in a totally dark ballroom, chatting with invisible folks, vibing to silent tunes, and sipping on imaginary drinks. It's terrifying to think any of us might be clueless about what's really going on around us, stuck in a whole universe that exists solely in our heads. When I started playing Alone in the Dark, I wondered if it would mess with these ideas. Turns out, yeah, it totally does. I've played tons of cool survival horror games, but I've never tried Alone in the Dark, the OG that inspired pretty much every game in the genre. While my gamer pals know all about Detective Edward Carnby and Emily Hartwood's adventures, this is my first dive into the spooky Derceto mansion in Louisiana. And as I played Detective Carnby for the first time, it was clear he was tripping, seeing and hearing things that weren't real, and sipping air. He was definitely alone in the dark.

Reviving Classic Horrors: Alone in the Dark

In Alone in the Dark, you get to pick between two main characters played by David Harbor and Jodie Comer, who deliver top-notch, movie-worthy performances that make me want to buy PS5 games. The game is set in the 1920s, following Emily Hartwood and her detective sidekick Carnby as they investigate her missing uncle at the spooky Derceto mansion. My first go-round as Carnby took me about 12 hours, with plenty of time spent staring at puzzles and scratching my head. The second time was way quicker since I already knew all the game's tricks. As a newbie to Alone in the Dark, I was a bit surprised by how cliché the Lovecraftian storyline felt. It's cool and all, but anyone familiar with cosmic horror will spot a lot of familiar beats from other stories, movies, and games. It wasn't until after finishing the game and looking into its history that I realized it's a modern remake of the original Alone in the Dark, which explains a lot. Even though tons of games have covered this ground since the early '90s, this one retells a story that was groundbreaking back in its day, about 35 years ago. So, I'll hold off on criticizing its predictability too much since it's based on a tale that's been around for ages.

Gameplay and Surprises

Instead, let's talk about how lit some of the lore drops are in Alone in the Dark. I've run through the game twice now, once with each character, and even on my second go, I'd pause to let the dope voice cast narrate all the clues, diaries, and notes. Normally, I'm all about hitting that "skip" button and reading stuff myself, but the voice acting is so fire it adds a whole new level to the game. Plus, there are some juicy extra details thrown in for those patient enough to listen, which totally hooked me even more. I won't spoil the story twists for newbies, but I'll say the gameplay mechanics stay pretty similar no matter who you pick. Each character's storyline has its own surprises that make a second playthrough worth it. And let me tell you, I was low-key hoping the game would go big at the end, and boy, it delivered. Most of the game kept it PG-13 with the violence, but the ending takes a sudden dive into Mature territory in the best way possible.

Storyline, Acting, and Puzzles

Alone in the Dark's visuals are a mixed bag. Some parts look absolutely stunning, with killer lighting effects, legit functioning mirrors, and details that pop. Then, out of nowhere, you're chatting with a flapper straight out of a PS2 game, dropped into Derceto's mezzanine like a glitch from the gaming gods. Plus, there's this weird section where the game suddenly switches to '90s tank controls for no good reason—it's jarring and almost unplayable. It's like 80% awesome and 20% meh. Now, is Alone in the Dark scary? It's got a spooky vibe for sure, but I found it more suspenseful than scream-inducing. The few jump scares it tries fall flat for me, and being a cosmic horror buff, that's a letdown. But hey, the story's solid, the acting's on point, and there are some killer puzzles to solve. So, come for the performances and brain-teasers, enjoy the storyline in bits, and ignore the clunky combat. Spending a couple of afternoons playing as David Harbor in a dark mansion isn't the worst way to chill.

[thefools-journey]

So. Some of you may be wondering why we haven’t written a whole ton about the secondaries or what have you. Here’s the reason: we were waiting for them to end before we really dug into the problems we were noticing. We felt that it was only fair to wait for the routes to finish so that we had an understanding of the writers’ vision. Who knew, we thought, maybe they would see the problems themselves and course correct, maybe they are building to something we can’t quite see yet and these issues will have actual payoff, maybe-

In light of Muriel and Lucio’s endings, and the general mess that has dominated Portia’s route for a year plus now, we are breaking our silence. We are actually going to talk about this shit show.

The fandom at large has talked about a bunch of issues with the secondaries but for me, the cardinal sin, the thing that really all the issues lead back to, is this: the writers lost sight of the tarot themes which so strongly defined and held together the primary routes. Let me explain.

The primary routes each center around three thematic cores:

The Love Interest’s Major Arcana and its Reversed/Upright meanings

The MC’s Fool’s Journey, both how it can go right and how it can go wrong

A question about the MC’s identity and their relationship to said identity

Asra’s route asks: Who was the MC? How does the MC navigate a past they cannot and will not remember? What do they owe a past they cannot remember? How do they handle the revelations of what Asra, Nadia, Julian, etc did? How do you right the past? Can you?

Nadia’s route asks: Who is the MC? The MC has no past. Are they the Fool only? Are they actually the same person they were? How can they tell? Who are they, really? Are they an imposter? No one can answer these questions for them.

Julian’s route asks: Who will the MC become? How does the MC see their future? Is there anything worth fighting for for that future? What will become of them and their loved ones? 

Now, if you notice, these themes are expertly woven throughout the primaries. Asra’s past dominates his route, Nadia is also missing memories and trying to construct her identity both with her family and with Vesuvia, and Julian’s fear of the future drives his flailing for control. Asra has to learn to take a broader view of his actions to get his Upright Ending, Nadia has to learn to trust herself and those around her for hers, and Julian has to learn how to let go for his. These lessons are the issues their cards stand for. The primaries are so dang elegant and delicate in their handlings of theme it is honestly awe-inspiring.

Thematically, the secondary routes have completely lost their hearts. First of all, the MC does not have strong, core questions which need to be answered. They just don’t. I suppose the writers did not want to retread old territory (which is weird considering how tightly bound the primaries are; it really tricks you into thinking you’re living the same events but from different angles depending on your route) but they did not replace the old with anything new. Muriel’s route is, on the surface, about discovering and owning his past, the good and the bad. Why not tie MC’s self-discovery to that story? Or they could have taken the angle that Muriel’s route is about convincing him to be present and active in the world while MC builds an identity for themself outside of Asra, the shop, and the memories they cannot retrieve. Why not tie the investigation themes running through Portia’s early route back to MC and their past? Portia has the unique angle of being as in the dark as MC about all of this, why not discover the past together? And for goodness’ sake, Lucio has no future when his route begins, why not tie that to his need for growth, responsibility, and MC’s own future between the Fool, the Devil, or something mortal and in between?

Secondly, the routes lost their tarot backbone. We have a primer on how to get specific endings for each LI and it still holds, but the writers did not follow through on the thematic coherence of each secondary. The Hermit is looking for something, be it perspective, insight, a solution to a problem, whatever. The key here is that the Hermit must find or learn what they are searching for, this thing must change their understanding of the world, and finally, they must bring this lesson back to the world from which they retreated. Can someone please enlighten me as what exactly Muriel learns then teaches the world around him? Nothing Muriel learns from Morga, MC, or even the Hermit ties back into anything. The Devil warns that you are out of control and exerting a lot of manipulative, destructive behavior on the world around you. It asks you to take responsibility for yourself and your actions. So can someone tell me why Lucio’s route actively avoids any interaction or reflection on two of Lucio’s biggest victims: Muriel and Julian? Why does the route only try to make amends with the “easier” of his victims in the cast? The Star is first and foremost the card of clarity, the light at the end of the tunnel. Perseverance, if you will. Yet Portia’s route has been the muddiest of the trio; the writers drop the investigation aspect of her route in favor just handing her and MC information they could have easily found and muddying the waters with Tasya (she blows up the palace but it’s all okay bc she has a secret daughter Julian never thought to bring up or mention) and the complete removal of the Devil as antagonist. 

So that leaves just the Fool’s Journey trying to hold this stool up with only one leg. And well...it doesn’t go well. At best, the secondary route books pay the barest surface level homage to the themes of the individual cards. At worst, they ignore the cards completely. Muriel's Moon book has nothing to do with illusions or delusions or lies or even an Alice in the Looking Glass upside down world. Portia's back half is a complete and utter mess, starting with her Temperance book being so badly mangled that Muriel's aftermath book does it better. Lucio's route too bungles the Tower and the Star. There just isn't enough here to carry the routes alone.

Add to the core loss the loss of intertextuality. The primary routes are very good, even great but they too do have their moments and mistakes. What helps strengthen them when the cores stumble is how the trio is woven together. Things you learn in Asra's route can inform the way you play Nadia's, for example. Julian's route informs what is going on in Asra's route and slots some missing puzzle pieces together. Nadia's route tells you of the power struggles she is facing and informs the other two routes' handling of Julian and his trial. On and on, the three routes support each other because they are built out of the same basic plot beats, just tackled in very different ways. Now, the writers are allowed to try and write whatever they want. They apparently wanted to be more experimental and less tied down to an overarching plot with the three secondaries. Okay, fine, they are allowed to do that. The problem is that they sacrificed one of the key strengths of the primary trio and didn't replace said strength with anything else. They also, on some level, harmed the very premise of the game, which is that only the player's choices and route selected change the overall plot. Instead of feeling like legitimate possibilities or offshoots of the same timeline/plot, the secondaries feel almost like Arcana AUs. The secondaries throw out all relations to the primaries and each other as quickly as possible and for what? 

It is probably the height of arrogance to suggest fixes for works whose behind the scenes I do not know. At the same time, some small, obvious changes could have salvaged Muriel and maybe Lucio's endings (rip Portia). Instead of having the Hermit appear as a disappointing cameo, why not have him say something cryptic to Muriel, then have MC start trying to seal the Devil. Then let Muriel use his forget me mark to cloak MC and hide them from the Devil's attacks. Protecting MC by hiding them from Lucio, keeping him focused on Muriel, seems to me a simple third solution between Muriel's desire to run and his desire to never fight again. It lets him stand up to Lucio and let him have it while holding onto who Muriel has become. The Reversed End would have MC try to draw Lucio's attention at some point, disrupting the sealing, and eventually leading to Muriel killing the Devil. With Lucio's Upright End, I just have to ask: why doesn't MC fully claim the power of the Fool instead of the Devil? We don't need the other Arcana involved in this fight; we have three routes that demonstrate that. Just have MC pull Scout into the conflict, then have Lucio tell MC he believes in them, then add his power to the mix. You got yourself a full Fool who leaves Scout guarding the realm until they and Lucio's mortal bodies fail and they return to the realm to be together forever. Boom, you're done, you can even add some ambiguous lines so that players can decide how happy their MC is with this arrangement, send me the check.

Here is the bottom line. Our group is full of aroace, and several combinations therein, individuals. We are the last group who should have gotten into a dating sim of all things. But the Arcana did something with the primaries that was special; they wrote a compelling plot with dazzling lore, complex characters, and strong themes wrapped up in a dating sim bow. The writers know better and we know they know better. I do not know what happened with the secondaries, especially around books 10-11, which is where minor issues slowly start spiraling into major ones, but it is clear that Nix Hydra needed some more planning before they released these routes. Hopefully they will learn.

TL;DR: Nix Hydra fired their tarot consultants about eighteen months ago and it has wrecked their secondary routes until they were just embarrassments. They never intended for the secondary routes to even exist and once they had to make them, they scrambled and threw out everything that made the primaries work.

- Mod Telos

[infinitewarden]

Osiris isn’t Savathun.

Great! Now that I have your attention:

Man you guys tire me out about Osiris. If you truly believe this is Osiris I don’t mean to sound like That Guy that’s like “you don’t know what you’re talking about” but... You don’t know what you’re talking about.

So.

Let’s talk about how much Osiris cares about the City and humanity and why the Osiris in Epilogue is not actually Osiris.

Alright. Let’s start off with context. I think it’s super important to see what we do know as Osiris’s views. From my heavy analyses of him since 2020 I can confidently say these are what he views as the most important things a person can do:

Keep promises

Speak their truths

Protect the City & Humanity

Know that the Vex are true Evil.

Now, I won’t be doing a breakdown of each one individually but I will be talking a great deal of how important honesty is to Osiris, the City, and his views of the Vex.

Speaking honestly and bluntly.

I don’t know how many of you were into Destiny before Beyond Light, so if you were unaware of this it’s not your fault. However I’ve seen a very strange change in tone when it comes to how people view Osiris. Before Season of Hunt people hated - and I mean hated - Osiris. Why? Because he was blunt. They viewed his bluntness as rudeness.

To see a sudden switch to him being secretive and scheming is... alarming, to say the least. (And to see people think that this is the norm is also alarming but in other ways.)

The Osiris before Hunt was not secretive and scheming. He sought knowledge openly. He sought, specifically, the truth. I must stress just how open he was about his plans. First I’ll give you a few in lore examples:

I admit, I found your questions divisive and disloyal, and I feared you might be capable of breaking our unity when the City's position had grown so tenuous. Why divert attention away from the Traveler, our only hope? And then it got worse, dabbling in thanatonautics, Ahamkara-lore, chasing after Xur and the tricks of the Nine. Launching expeditions into the Reef and beyond at a time when ships were irreplaceable. Your quest split Guardians along ideological lines. This was your greatest crime: Hunters chose to pursue your visions instead of protecting refugees, Titans assembled teams to chase the legendary Vault of Glass instead of striking the Fallen, and Warlocks turned away from the study of the Traveler in favor of  your  ultimate obsession... learning the exact nature of the Darkness. ... Perhaps what drives a Warlock to madness is truth.

Osiris.

"Do not romanticize this burden. We wield a weapon." The Speaker shakes his head. "The Light wields you, Osiris. You are what you make of it. A glorious extension of its majesty, in many directions." Osiris paces at cadence with his words. "Then it would do well to speak clearly. To better direct me." The Speaker cocks his head. "Without will? Then it would be no better than the Darkness." "I am asking only for guidance; it is a delicate game we are playing." Osiris's voice, distressed. Regal again, the Speaker motions to the stone garden. "Will you sit with me?"

13: Margins Part II.

And, while I don’t particularly like using the Fall of Osiris comic as a source, it does have very important lines on his viewpoints that I find relevant yet.

Fall of Osiris #1.

Hell he was open about his plans to fuck with time itself to bring Saint back.

Sagira narrowed her eye at the rogue Lightbearer and lowered herself to Osiris’s shoulder. “Why’s he here?” she asked quietly. “I asked him to consult on the engineering work,” Osiris replied, crossing his arms. “You sicko,” the other man declared, walking a circle around the Warlock, his eyes darting along every surface of the Sundial around them. ... “Just one more question, then. Why all the fuss?” “I owe him.” “I owe a lotta people, Warlock. You’re opening the gates of hell with a Vex key.” “When the Traveler brought me back, I had no friends. No family—” “No one had anything in the Dark Age.” “But Saint was always there. And I saw him grow from neophyte to demigod.”

The Sundial.

"You haven't left the Forest in years," Ikora said to Osiris, the only one to address him directly. "I need help," Osiris replied. "I know," Ikora responded, hands clasped behind her back. She stared intently at her former mentor. Back in her Crucible days, that uncompromising gaze was often the last thing her opponents saw. Aunor glanced sidelong at her superior. Harper coughed and looked down at his datapad. "Two years ago, Guardians entered the Infinite Forest," Osiris continued. "They aided me in defeating the Axis Mind Panoptes, preventing a Vex apocalypse from befalling this system. "In the process," he looked between each of them in turn, "Some Guardians reported a body they found in the Forest depths." Ikora sighed. "Saint-14 never came back from that last mission to Mercury. We finally knew why. I reacted to it the only way I knew how."

Desperate Times.

“I do not understand all of this code. This is Geppetto’s specialty,” Saint-14 says while standing bent over a wide desk covered in data tablets. Holographic images of the Lighthouse shimmer in the Hangar lights. “We could use the Crucible right now. Your trials. This will be very helpful. You mean to stay, yes?” “I will. Long enough to show you how to implement the simulation; but tonight, I must disembark,” Osiris says. “So soon?” Osiris tenses his jaw in forced silence. He twiddles with code. “I’m worried about what Vance found.” Saint places a heavy hand on Osiris’s chest. “Let go of your obsession. Do not leave chasing phantoms again.” “Phantoms… You think the Darkness is satisfied? This is just the first move. I need to know the next before it’s made.” “If there is something you fear, let me help you. We face this together.” Osiris’s mind drifts to the Dark anomalies. Saint doesn’t need another burden. “The safest place for you is the Tower, Saint. Time... tends to renege on its gifts.” “So, your mission is dangerous?” Osiris considers lying. “Potentially.”

Immolant I.

There are many more sources I could list on his bluntness and honesty but there’s honestly too much. What is important to extrapolate from all of it is this:

OSIRIS SPOKE THE TRUTH NO MATTER IF IT GOT HIM IN TROUBLE. IT IS ONE OF THE MAIN REASONS HE GOT EXILED.

Protecting the City & Humanity

Idk where people get the idea that he’s abandoned the City and humanity. And I don’t understand where people think it’s “typical Osiris behavior” to choose to put the City in danger.

I want to make something very clear here:

Osiris was exiled. He did not abandon the City. And though others view him as abandoning it, that wasn’t his intention. He never intentionally abandoned it. Everything he did was in pursuit of a brighter future for humanity. Let’s look at one of his lines from the Sundial activity during Dawn.

“By the time I left the City, many believed my practices to be sacrilege. But my methods have prevented countless futures not unlike the one you walk now. When it is laid out before you, would you not sacrifice anything to see this future shut?”

The Sundial.

He left because he weighed his options and he saw that humanity would have better use of him if he left. He cares A great deal about the City. He cares almost too much about it. He would never give Lakshmi the technology to cause it harm, especially knowing that she’s unstable. And I’ve seen some people think he’s playing 5D chess? In what world would he ever choose to bring harm upon humanity for some sort of... agenda; which I’ve already cleared up earlier, he’s open about his plans.

Let’s look at more known lore about Osiris’s feelings of the City & humanity.

"You've wrapped your mind around an idea of your own making. I have always tolerated this fawning 'movement' of yours, but this is a step too far." Osiris seethed. Brother Vance was awestruck. He stared blankly at Osiris, unsure of what he could say to quell his anger and dissolve his frustration. "What I have discovered…" "…is dangerous enough to destroy every man, woman, and child in existence. You're meddling with forces outside your grasp," Osiris reprimanded. "I warn you here and now, remove yourself from this Lighthouse. Find a simple life. Start a family. Write music. Leave Mercury and this fool's errand behind."

Chapter 8: Idolatry.

Osiris was furious to find out Vance was experimenting in his name by endangering people for his goals. And he was especially mad that he would dive into such dangerous areas so much so that it had the potential to destroy humanity.

"It's truth." Osiris considers this. "Truth seems subjective these days," Osiris says, finally observing his entourage for the first time. Among them, a small group of men and women, stand two wayward Guardians—Warlocks, it appears—and a child. Their forlorn faces resonate with him. Castaways and believers. The weeks since his departure from the Last City have worn on him. He was used to working alone, knowing he could fall back to the City's resources should he need them. Now, adrift in the expanse of purpose, he finds himself longing for a place he could return to. A sanctuary.

Chapter 2: Postexilic.

Here’s a few lines from Season of Dawn:

“The Traveler, mutilated. Mercury, a desolate warzone. This is the bleak future the Cabal wants for us all. We do not know what has become of humanity here. I hope we will not find out.”

.

“There are many terrible futures, but I have not grown numb to seeing them. The future the Cabal wish for is a nightmare for humanity.”

.

“If the Traveler fled the system, there is a chance that the Darkness would ignore our region of the galaxy entirely. It would sacrifice our second awakening, our ability to wield the Light, but potentially continue our Golden Age. There are too many variables at risk, but it's a variant path worth investigating in the Infinite Forest.”

.

“This battered Mercury is a blueprint for our system. Lightless, bowed, and nothing more than fuel for an endless war. It must never come to pass.”

The Sundial.

There are many. Many. More lines I could put here about how much Osiris doesn’t want to see humanity suffering. And especially how he doesn’t want the City to be at risk. But I think you get the picture.

Know that the Vex are true Evil.

So. We all know Osiris as “the Vex guy.” His whole thing is on fighting the Vex. However it seems people think that he’d be okay with using them for grounds of a higher purpose? Or something? I don’t know, everyone I see rebuffing Osiris’s actions with Lakshmi don’t seem to be interested in explaining this one.

So anyways. Let’s talk about how Osiris views the Vex as true evil compared to other species.

“The Fallen are not so different from us. How hard would you fight if the Light were taken from you?” “Those stories ring false to me,” said Saint. “They are not a noble people. I’ve fought them, and so have you.” “I have not fought them all,” the Warlock replied, pulling his hands apart to create an intricate web of hovering cubes and points of light. “They are nothing, no threat—not like the Vex. Not like the Darkness.”

Vanguard Commander.

[u.2:06] Have you spoken to the House of Light, like I asked? [u.1:07] I would rather not speak with Fallen. [u.2:07] They may need our help. Their cause is just. [u.1:08] What happened to “trust no one?” [u.2:08] What happened to your sense of right and wrong, hero?

Maintenance Operations Log 30037.

The unenlightened wonder at my so-called "fixation" upon the Vex. They believe our gravest existential threat is the Hive, for those beings have made a pact with the Darkness itself via the medium of the Worm Gods (according to Toland, at least, and I see no reason to doubt him in this). But Darkness is not merely absence of Light. Darkness is an entity unto itself. Put simply, Darkness is not Nothing. But the Vex? The Vex seek neither Light nor Darkness. They seek Convergence, the reduction of all life to its simplest, most meaningless form. An entelechy of zeros and ones. "Evil" is a word for sentimentalists and fools. But, in the ontology of the sentimental, the Vex are more deserving of the term than the Hive. Given a choice between Darkness and Convergence, I would choose Darkness. It is a logical choice. Yet for this they banish me.

Kairos Function (Hunter).

This one is important because Osiris doesn’t subscribe to the idea of “good” and “evil”, and that he would go so far to say that the Vex are Evil shows just how much of a threat he views them as.

It’s just. Mind boggling to me that people think that Osiris would be okay with a Vex invasion. That Osiris would encourage Lakshmi to open up a rift to “send the Fallen away” (Despite being one of the earliest sympathizers!) Osiris isn’t ineffable, he’s just a man trying to do his best to help humanity. His actions aren’t difficult to understand, they have been written to be very clear and with understanding his motives.

Saying that it’s natural for him to be secretive and have contradicting opinions and actions is just. Wrong. It’s not him. It’s not how he’s supposed to be understood. Even in Curse of Osiris I don’t think his actions didn’t make any sense.

This is going to sound very mean but I want to be 100% clear: If you think that Osiris would actively choose to put the City in danger of the Vex, if you think that he would actively choose to stand calmly and watch as his lover was about to die to the very things he spent millions of lives to save... You don’t understand Osiris. Go back and reread his lore.

I leave you with this:

The Vanguard is dubious of our intent and ability, fearing corruption and displacement. They do not trust me. You were held in similar contempt for speaking your truth and empowering free thought. You know what it feels like to be chastised and labeled a traitor. We are mere steps away from a disintegration of our institutions, and they cannot see destruction staring them in the face. ... For so long, we have clung to the Light, denying the strength offered by the Dark. By using Stasis, we will end this war. We see this contest for what it truly is: a game, played by our adversaries. And we have been the pawns. We are pawns no more. This is not a battle I want to wage without you, although we may not have a choice in the matter. Wherever you may be, please come back to us.

To Osiris.

[prozd]

Bones of the Forgotten

For those unaware, when I was 12 years old, I used to write very gritty Mario fanfiction.  The only reason this exists is because we hit a charity milestone for Extra Life (which by the way you can still donate to here: https://www.extra-life.org/participant/450294)

I decided to write the sort of fanfiction that 12 year old me would've enjoyed writing, so here is my love letter to my youth.

A question block can come in handy in a variety of ways.  You just gotta know how to scrap it down.  Easily done enough with a precision focus Fire Flower blowtorch.  The first thing you gotta do is realize there's nothing bringing that sonuvabitch down; those fuckers float in the air forever no matter how much you push or pull 'em.  Instead, you gotta carve off pieces from it as it's floating up there. Awkward at first, but by the fiftieth time, it's fucking clockwork.

Melt down the pieces and you've got the golden goo perfect for crafting all sorts of nasty tools.  A bat made from question block has just enough lightness for a easy swing, but just enough density to still effectively break a kneecap.  A blade still won't pierce, say, a Chain Chomp, but it can at least pierce most Koopa shells.  Plus, some people just like the gold color; they think it looks sick.

I personally think the best use of question block goo is making bullets out of it.  They're denser than most others and they maintain their speed for longer. The only downside is they stand out if you leave them in a body at a crime scene, but that's irrelevant as long as you're cleaning up your messes properly.  If anyone had the time and resources to search the bottom of the sea near Rogueport Docks, I imagine you'd find a glittering trove of golden bullets scattered among the bones of the forgotten.

One of those bullets dances idly through my fingers as I listen to one of my subordinates, a Craw with the quite frankly unfortunate name of Garf, lament about his recent mistreatment by the Syndicate.

"Ishnail, they just stomped the shit out of us!  Gus and I, we weren't doin' NOTHIN' and those leafy fucks attacked us.  Everyone knows the Plaza's neutral territory, we gotta DO somethin' about this."

Craws get a bad rap, in my opinion.  They get labeled as savage, but I've always found them to be much more thoughtful than people would assume.  Even in this moment, as my eyes gaze upon Garf's tattered, bloodied vest and bandana, and his curved beak squawks in rage, I notice the slightest trace of tears at the very edges of his eyes.  Aw.

"Let me ask you one question, Garf."  Out of respect, Garf immediately goes silent. Again, thoughtful.  "Were you and Gus carrying your spears?"

"I......I mean.....we have to, it's part of Craw culture...."

"I'm well aware, but Garf, I'm sure YOU'RE well aware that no weapons are allowed in the Plaza.  I mean, at the very least, keep a goddamn gun hidden in your pocket, don't wave a fucking SPEAR around.  You're just asking for the Piantas to give you a beating."

I get up from the dingy sofa I've been lounging on and dust myself off.  "But I can't have Don Pianta thinking it's okay to fuck up my guys.  I'll have to have a word with the ol' mustachioed fuck."  I pat Garf on the cheek and wipe a tear away with my thumb.  He nods in appreciation.

I motion to two of my subordinates, a scrappy looking Goomba named Goomfrey and a laidback Hammer Brother named Hamma.  We step outside HQ and into the bustling, grimy streets of Rogueport's east side.  

As long as I've lived in Rogueport, it's always carried the smell of the sea in the air.  It's a welcome scent to me, having grown up in the Seaside Kingdom.  My mom was a Bubblainian; she raised me when my deadbeat Koopa dad left us, and what she gave me was the snail shell on my back and a love for the water.  Merchants shouting and the occasional "STOP, THIEF!" ring out as my muscle and I make our way through the Plaza.  We pass the gallows where the Shadow Queen's corpse was supposedly hung from one thousand years ago.  Fittingly gruesome lore for a city filled with murderous rat-bastards.

A sickly sweet scent starts to mingle with the smell of the sea and garbage I'm used to. It's an indication that we're entering the west side of Rogueport. Sure, it's a much tidier area than where the Robbos and I live; there may be fancy-ass things like "flowers" and "benches," how hoity-toity.  You can put lipstick on a Li'l Oink, but it still smells like shit.

We walk into Westside Goods.  There's no need for the customary password; Peeka, the Boo shopkeeper, knows why I'm here.  She opens up the back door, and we walk up the stairs in the back alley to Don Pianta's office.

"Ishnail, to what do I owe the pleasure?"

Don Pianta stands behind his desk; as much as I hate to admit it, his presence is overwhelming.  "And you brought friends, too?" he notes as he sees Goomfrey and Hamma.

If you want to live long in Rogueport, every time you enter a room, you have to mentally gauge 1. the quickest way to escape, 2. who you may need to disable and/or kill to escape, and 3. how easy that's all going to be.  Two giant yellow Pianta in suits stand guard at both sides of the Don's desk. A blue Pianta in a white suit, the Don's underboss Frankie, closes the door behind us.  

Piantas are not easy to injure, let alone kill; I know this from years of tangling with the Don's gang.  The little palm trees and skirts would make you think otherwise, but Piantas are naturally built like fucking dump trucks and hit just as hard.  Hamma's a Glitz Pit fighter, and I've seen what he can do with that hammer.  Goomfrey gets underestimated for his species, but his reputation precedes him; he has bitten off more fingers than your average Rogueportian.  Still, a fight against four Piantas, even with my question block bullets, would be brutal.  It's telling that you never see a Pianta with a weapon because nothing will kill you faster than simply their own fists.

"Your men attacked mine, Don.  And for what, carrying spears?  You and I both know that's bullshit."

"My men....have been on edge.  Your little Bandit friends have been scuttling around, picking too many pockets they shouldn't be.  Keep that shit on the East Side where it belongs, and we'll be fine."

As Don Pianta talks, he habitually cracks his knuckles.  Out of all the Piantas in the syndicate, Don Pianta is truly a mammoth; his muscles are barely contained by the suit he's wearing.  Honestly, if he wasn't my ultimate arch-nemesis in this town, shit, I'd fuck him.  I like my men beefy.

"Alright, Don.  I'll tell my boys to keep their weapons out of the plaza.  You and I both know no one benefits if we fight in the streets.  Bad business for both your establishments and mine.  Let's keep things quiet."

"Agreed," The Don extends a giant hand.  I shake it firmly.

I turn to leave with my muscle in tow.  As I open the door to leave, I hear a whisper.

"Get your slimy shell outta here, you fuck."

I pause.  I give Goomfrey the look, and he smirks.  Goomfrey's eyes quickly dart and I know he's already memorizing every little detail about the yellow Pianta who whispered the insult.  Without another word, I close the door behind me.

---

There's one more use for question block goo I forgot to mention.  It's perfect for weighing things down.  

I breathe in the salty seaport air; it's particularly sweet tonight.  The golden bullet dances between my fingers; I know it's a bad habit, but it's fun to fidget with.  It'll go to good use though.  I load it into my Fire Flower pistol with a few others and carefully attach the silencer.

"Now, listen, uh...what was his name again?"

"Paulie," says Goomfrey, standing to my side with a grin.

"That's right, Paulie.  I'm a pretty patient person, I think most people including your boss would agree, but I've got a real sore spot about the shell, ya know?  It's just, it reminds me of my dear old ma, and I love her to bits.  You understand, right?"

There is no response from Paulie due to his crushed windpipe courtesy of Hamma's hammer.  Quite frankly, I'm impressed he's still conscious from the pain.  He looks up at me from his crouching position eyes filled with hate, his hands and feet encased in reforged golden question blocks.  Piantas are heavy, so four blocks worth is safest.

"I did promise the dear Don that I'd keep things quiet, so let's cut to the chase." I point the gun at his forehead and before he can react, I fire three shots.  There's no need to prolong this shit; I'm not a sadist. Hamma and Goomfrey pick up the body and toss it off the port into the sea.

"For what it's worth, boss," says Hamma in a low, pleasant baritone.  "I like your shell.  Looks good on ya."

"Aww, thanks."

[gale-gentlepenguin]

ML Analysis: The Miraculous. Marvelous or Ridiculous.

So I have been asked to make an analysis on the well known Magical Jewelry of the show. The miraculous. (No I will not be talking about the Shanghai special magical gems, I won't even be mentioning anything revealed after the NY special. This is solely knowledge on season 3 and prior.)

This will be a VERY long post in which I will be discussing the merits and demerits of the magical items in question.

Now for this analysis I will be doing my best to solely focus on the miraculous themselves, this is not an analysis on the Guardians or other miraculous holders. This is about the magical gems. I will be giving some background information on certain things. But I am going to focus on the miraculous.

I think in order to organize this post I will be splitting it up as follows.

A Miraculous Lore

Kwami: Personal Pals or Pain in the Butt

Potential and Drawbacks

Power Balance: The delicate dance

Final thoughts

So lets get to it

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A Miraculous Lore

To briefly explain, the 'Miraculous' are magical jewelry created by a powerful mage which allows the powers of Kwami to be harnessed and controlled by anyone who wields it and uses it to transform.

Now when it comes to magical items, its important that these items have sort of connection to the fictional world they are in. This connection acts as a means of world building. Now there are 3 main factors to keep in mind when connecting the mystical item of power to the world itself, the history, mystery, and Impact on the present. In this section I will be talking about how the miraculous are addressed in the series, from their historical significance as well as their mysterious powers that are yet to be truly revealed.

Now history is the talk of the events of the past, and in the world of miraculous ladybug, the miraculous have a rather interesting connection to world events. In the show, we learn that the miraculous were active in ancient china, in Egypt, in greek mythology (which makes the greek myths more of history) and even events as recent as the American revolution were impacted by the miraculous. Now these reveals are information provided in the show itself, there are also confirmations from the writers regarding other points in history where the miraculous were active, such as when Joan of Arc was fighting in the 100 year war. Now this aspect works well with the second trait of world building, mystery, but it also leaves a lot of gaps for the viewer, which is where the next part of the history connection comes in, the order of the guardians. The guardians of the miraculous work as the connecting point, giving the viewer the explanation on how the miraculous became a part of human history. The guardians connection lays the ground work for the miraculous lore as it allows us to understand that an ancient order dedicated to protecting the miraculous knew when to step in and help history along. Overall, the aspect of history when connected to the miraculous seems to work well for the world building, at least so long as we focus on the miraculous themselves.

The mystery is the aspect of the unknown. What exactly are the secrets hidden about the miraculous. Now the part of the mystery is that the purpose of the miraculous and how the link between the god like beings that the Kwami are is still left up in the air. With the comics, we know that the Kwami are each based on an abstract concept like Creation, destruction and so on. We also find out that a wizard made the miraculous... for some reason. The mystery of the miraculous allows for rapid progress and power ups in the story. In the beginning we knew very little of the limitations and potential the miraculous had. We knew, Ladybug and Chat noir had 5 minutes after using their unique power and that the bad man wanted their miraculous for evil. As the mystery unveils, we find out that there are more miraculous, and that using certain miraculous together can allow for god-like power. We also learned about potions, techniques, and other such things that make the miraculous more enigmatic. What is the full potential of the miraculous? What more is there to this mystery? The miraculous brings the more interesting parts of ML to light because we as the viewer are invested in what more these jewelry sets can do.

The impact on the present. As the show's plot revolves around the two heroes that utilize the miraculous, it is easy to see how the miraculous are very crucial to the plot. The main villain wants the magical items because he wants to make his wish, the heroes need the power to fend off his villains that he creates and eventually take the miraculous back from him. Meanwhile the order that protected the miraculous are once again active thanks to Ladybug and Chat noir purifying the akumatized Sentimonster Feast (which had massive impact on the progression of story ).

_____________________________________________________________

Kwami: Personal Pals or Pain in the Butt

Kwamis, best described as divine, spirit-like beings who embody "abstract" concepts. They give certain powers to people with Miraculouses, transforming them into animal-themed super beings. Kwami are the beings that make the Miraculous, well miraculous.

The Kwami have a rather fascinating role in the story as they act as they add character to this relatively cool jewelry piece. It isn't just a magical item, the Kwami are companions to their wielders and need to be judged as such. Now these beings are crucial because they play multiple roles in the show. For this part of the analysis, I will be focusing mainly on the Kwami that have had the most screen time, mainly Tikki, Plagg, Wayzz and Nooru. The other Kwami, while having personalities, do not have permanent owners or have not been out long enough to establish themselves. Now these four Kwami are important because they can be examined if they follow the indicators of a companion or specifically fit the trope known as Mentor Mascot. For this I have created 2 criteria Distinct criteria that these Kwami must meet in order to be considered good companions. These criteria are Cute Confidant and Wiser Advisor.

The Cute Confidant is an aspect that addresses two key components in the mentor mascot companion field. The first is obviously, cuteness. The Kwami must be cute, small and have tiny habits that make you want a plushy of them. In this regard, all of the Kwami pass the test because all of them are tiny and have little habits that make them adorable to the viewer. From Wayzz and his little Match box bed, to Plagg's chaotic cat tendencies, to Tikki's cute little assistant routine, and even Nooru's tiny bits of exposition and concern. The kwami capture cuteness. The second component to this is the Confidant portion. The Kwami must be entities that the wielder wants to tell things to, things that they would not tell anyone else. In short, the Kwami need to be beings that the user can trust whole heartedly. Now Tikki and Wayzz have both shown to be the most obedient confidants in this regard. Both have the best experience keeping secrets and their users trust them completely. Plagg is a bit more chaotic and it is true that Adrien does tell him everything and that he would never spill that info, Plagg has gone behind Adrien's back more times then any of the other swami (like in Sand boy, and in Kwamibuster). Though while not trust breaking, Plagg has caused his partner a bit of trouble (which actually makes him a better mascot, but less a mentor). Nooru is sort of forced to obey Gabriel so while not a willing confidant, he does listen to him monologue a LOT. In short, the Kwami do make for Cute Confidants.

The Wiser Advisor aspect comes into play in one very simple way. How do the Kwami help their wielders outside of their powers. The Advising role of the mascot mentor is truly important as with nearly every single magical girl/ superhero show, the character has an identity to keep secret and sometimes the only one that can be talked to when there is a problem is their mascot mentor. In this department, Tikki is technically the best advice giver as Marinette is suppose to learn the most lessons due to her being the main character, but I think Plagg better exemplifies the personal aspect of the wiser advisor role. Plagg goes out of his way to try and do what he thinks is best for Adrien. Plagg is seen more like the devil on the shoulder by the fandom, but Plagg is acting more like the voice of self worth for Adrien. Plagg is acting with Adrien's interests at heart. If one looks at Syren or Chat Blanc, there are times when Plagg advises AGAINST something and is often right in that regard. Plagg has a larger grasp of knowing when something is wrong more than something is right. The Kwami are still inhuman and can't relate to everything their 'Chosen' goes through, which we see more in the recent season, with Tikki's explaination. In this regard the Kwami learn just as much from the humans as the humans do from them. Though really, Tikki is suppose to be the wiser advisor but the problem comes into play when her answers are... not very helpful. Tikki has shown to either tell the lesson of the day and get ignored or have no idea how to fix a situation. There is no middle ground with her. But in the end the Wiser Advisor role is conveyed by the kwami and that is important.

The Kwami provide a very crucial aspect to the miraculous, it adds a personality to the ancient relic. We want our heroes to protect the miraculous because we want the kwami to be safe and away from evil people like Hawkmoth. The kwami add so much more to this normally typical magical item. Their roles as the cute confidant and the Wiser advisor allows for them to be crucial in the growth of the heroes as they continue down the path of heroism. And while i think the writing for the kwami can fluctuate, I think its fair to conclude that they are personal pals rather than pains in the butt.

_____________________________________________________________.

Potential and Drawbacks

So in this section of the analysis I will be covering the Potential of the Miraculous as well as the drawbacks. Does this potential make sense? Or is it simply another deus ex Machina. As for the drawbacks. Whats the price of utilization? Is their a fee? What are the limits? Do these limits make sense? Are there too many limits or not enough limits? Now let us progress.

As mentioned in the mystery aspect of the miraculous. The Miraculous have Kwami that represent concepts and their power relates to said concept. When we as the viewer are introduced to the Miraculous, we only know that the miraculous have a unique power and that when the ladybug and Cat miraculous are both used can have a power that the villain wants. Now as the seasons pass we see that the specific power that the villain wants is to use the two miraculous to make a wish. This concept alone make the miraculous (or at the very least the ladybug and Cat miraculous) immensely powerful. The potential of having a wish makes the two miraculous priceless. In a way, this reveal shows the max potential that the miraculous are capable of, the ability to shape the world in anyway the user desires. But that is only the case when BOTH the ladybug and Cat miraculous are utilized, what about the other miraculous? What are they capable of alone? Well by themselves, the miraculous are pretty much straightforward. They enhance the abilities of the user to super human levels and then allow the user to utilize the unique power of the miraculous, such as destruction, time travel, etc.

Now in season 2 we learn that there are potions that can be consumed to allow the heroes to traverse different environments, such as the vaccum of space, the ocean, and frozen plains, what this does is allow for the user to have an edge in any environment which makes the miraculous highly adaptable. It is unknown if potions can be stacked on top of one another, but that is debatable on whether or not that would even be useful.

In Season 3, we learn that miraculous can be used together, using unification. This allows the user to use 2 miraculous at the same time. While it is unclear if it improves the already enhanced abilities of the wearer, it is confirmed that they can use the kwami powers involved in the unification. We even see Marinette find a work around to this by using the mouse miraculous to make copies of herself and then use 4 different powers! Showing that there is a way to work around the two person ability of unification. It is also feasible that using more than two active miraculous at once in one form is possible, but that is yet to be discover.

In Season 4, we are given a reveal that embodiment of the concept of the miraculous can result in more abilities, or at the very least can be inferred from Alya's discovery. Ladybug created a new powered up form of her lucky charm and could now create Akuma/Amok warding charms thanks to this power. This aspect of the miraculous is rather new and it is unknown how far this concept can be taken. But the potential demonstrated gives the implication that the limitation of powers on the miraculous is mental.

The miraculous still seem to have more tricks that have yet to be revealed, but the potential from environmental potions, to 100's of unification combinations, and potential to push past limits gives the miraculous a massive pool of potential that make it fascinating.

When it comes to magical items, many always like to know the drawbacks with the magical item involved. The miraculous is no different. Now this is where I find the miraculous is a little murky. At the start the most well known issue with the miraculous was that after the miraculous wielder used the special power of the Kwami, the user only had around 5 minutes before they were forced back. Now with Hawkmoth we never really knew if he was subjected to that rule, since there were times he was off screen. Did he simply have a work around? Was it because he knew something the heroes didnt? That was the biggest mystery until season 3 when its revealed that adults can use the power multiple times without having to de-transform. This explanation was and is still a gripe many people have with the series. The creators gave explanations outside of the show on why that is but it was usually dismissed and still left people angry. However there were still plenty of other drawbacks that the miraculous had.

A major drawback is that the Kwami's condition is related to the condition of the miraculous and vice versa. A broken/damaged miraculous results in the kwami also being damaged. We see this in season 3 with Duusu and the peacock miraculous. Using a damaged miraculous also has an impact on the wielder, slowly draining their life force (as seen with Nathalie) and it appears that overuse can kill the wielder. (which is what happened with Emilie). A Kwami is the reason the miraculous are powerful, without the kwami present, the miraculous is useless. So being too far from one's kwami would make transforming impossible. The kwami being affected by something would also affect the user. Like when Plagg couldnt see due to Chloé's jewlery it is implied if Adrien had transformed, He would have been blind. So the kwami needs to be taken care of, which is a drawback that makes sense.

Another Drawback of the miraculous is revealed in both Silencer and Miracle Queen. The transformation and special power are voice activated. In Silencer, when she had her voice stolen, Ladybug was unable to summon her lucky charm until Silencer used her voice to say the word Lucky charm. And in Miracle Queen, Chloé couldnt utilize the other miraculous because she didnt know the names of the kwami. Without the Kwami's name, the user cant activate the miraculous. It plays on the trope of a name giving the speaker power over the magical being. Using a name also gives a level of respect and it is an interesting drawback as well as a fail safe.

Another drawback that we learn about is that using too many miraculous at once can be dangerous. While this has only been shown in Kwamibuster, when Marinette wore at one point nearly every miraculous at once. Simply transforming caused her to feel a bit woozy. Though after that it did not seem to impact her. There has yet to be seen if abusing unify (like Shadowmoth) and Ladybug have been doing will result in similar effects. But it is something to look out for.

For the most part the potential of the miraculous is put on the user where it is the user figuring ways of utilizing the miraculous that make it more powerful while the drawbacks are mainly limited to the state of the Kwami. This allows for an interesting act of balance where caring for the miraculous would allow the user to evolve, which is something we are seeing in the show, and not taking care of the miraculous or abusing it results in damage, like we see with the villains. Its an interesting parallel that I do wish was explored more.

_____________________________________________________________

Power Balance: The delicate dance

People dont really understand how important balancing power is when it comes to shows. The Hero must be strong enough to save the day, the villain must be a big enough threat for the hero to take seriously. Thats why superman has foes like Darkseid or Braniac. Why Goku fights Frieza, or why Sailor moon has to fight Galaxia.

The miraculous are very bizarre in terms of balance. The strongest miraculous are claimed to be the ladybug and Cat miraculous, the concepts of creation and destruction, Together they maybe the most powerful, but in reality, they are not the strongest. The strongest single miraculous is the Rabbit. A miraculous with the ability to travel through time, it is likely the closet miraculous to being the cat and Ladybug combined. It allows one to change the flow of time. Changing events that could have lead to disaster. And we know that time travel is not multiversal travel, that going to the past DOES impact the timeline. In fact thats the reason its so rarely used, the Rabbit miraculous is a last resort, and if something is a last resort, than its clearly the most powerful. There is also the snake miraculous which has nearly infinite uses regardless of age so long as it is within the 5 minute window. The Horse miraculous that can transport the user anywhere they have in mind, including sending someone into the vacuum of space.

The miraculous power balance also has issues when one considers the two main miraculous, the cat and the Ladybug. Both miraculous are considered crucial to giving someone maximum power and are illustrated like Yin and Yang. But in reality, the Ladybug miraculous is much more powerful than the cat miraculous in nearly every conceivable way. Ignoring the users and just taking their abilities at face value. The cat miraculous has one unique power while the ladybug miraculous has 3. The cat miraculous can destroy anything but the ladybug miraculous can fix any damage done with her miraculous cleansing. The cat miraculous has one piece of jewlery while the Ladybug has two, making it still possible to use with only one earring. Looking at the powers by themselves and not the wielders, one would believe one miraculous was superior to the other.

The power balance between the heroes and the villains seems to be the only one with some care and merit. The peacock and the Butterfly miraculous are at perfect odds with Ladybug and Chat noir. The peacock and the butterfly allow for any sort of power to be created and utilized by an individual or created monster, while the ladybug and cat miraculous are able to purify and fix the person possessed. This allows for a strong balance that means one side must try and out think the other in order to win. The one balance I do think the show captured correctly is the balance between the heroes and villains. Ladybug and Chat noir always managed to foil Shadowmoth's plans but shadowmoth gets more creative and does have small victories from time to time, but never actually wins the day. It is enough to keep the viewer on their toes and keeps the power balance from being too predictable.

The miraculous in terms of balance are... a mess, and I do think that the powers given to the miraculous in some cases were not well thought out. It is hard to say that the miraculous follow a proper balance of power or even dynamic. But the balance is hard to maintain when one is trying to have over a dozen different magical items, its natural that some would be more powerful than others.

_____________________________________________________________

Final thoughts

The Miraculous are incredibly interesting magical items and its understandable how appealing they are to viewers. They arent just unobtanium or a generic magic powersource that villain can pursue. The miraculous have sentience and special unique characteristics that make them so much more. While the power balance is something I find problem with, the matters of lore and kwami help keep the user invested and I feel it makes the miraculous well... Miraculous. I find the miraculous fascinating and while at times ridiculous, the potential development has me marveling at their beauty.

(thanks for this commission and sorry it took months to make. Season 4 put a wrench in this and I needed to utilize what was learned to add to it)

[impala1967dwinchester]

Hello I just wanted to say ur amazing writer and I was wondering if I can request Winchester brother x sister reader where the reader is the youngest Winchester maybe around 16- 17 you can choose the fits but I was hoping u can do like where the reader is depressed and has ED (eating disorder ) and doesn’t tell the brothers and one day it gets worse and passed out the brothers are worried trying to help her out but it hard for her I hope this ok if not I can do different request it just I found comfort in angst topics with struggles I go through you know sorry if this doesn’t makes sense

It started years ago. To be exact it started when your father lost it, going mental on your oldest brother Dean. The three of you were thick as thieves and it physically hurt to see the complete and utter destruction your father left behind for Dean to clean up.

Living your life on the road was okay, you had two great older brothers that kept you up. Kept you in good spirits but it's hard when your whole world around you is crashing. You know it, your family knows but no one else.

How Dean and Sam ever dealt with the massive weight on their shoulders. It blew your mind. You. You weren't worth anything, especially not your mother burning on the ceiling. Your father resented you. You didn't need him to say it, because you could tell. Dean was his soldier, Sam was the disappointment, but the smartest out of the three of you. But you, you were the reason all four of you were in this mess. The reason why John was searching for that revenge every day.

Covering it up with the idea of saving people, but you were smart, so very smart. Sam had complimented you many times on your quickness, and sharpness when it came to the lore, but regarding your father, it was never the approval you were looking for.

Lots of things happened, to get you to the age of seventeen and drowning in the pit of your stomach all because you all no desire to be here anymore. You weren't helping your older brothers you were just in the way.

In the way of progress, a major setback to them. For them to prove to John that they would be like him, do like him. They'd have to leave you behind. It was for the best.

It started off as a way to conserve the little food the four of you had. At the ripe age of seven you learned quickly that offering your food to Sam was a better idea, or skipping off to lay in a shitty motel bed was better than eating. Yes your stomach would growl and the acid would burn, but anything to keep the weight of your brother off your shoulders.

As you grew up you learned that if you stayed at school as long as you could it was the best. Dean had just learned how to drive driving was his passion, reading was Sam. And yours... yours was to stay away, out of the way.

By the age of fifteen, you had your patterned packed down and tight. You leave with Sam since he drove you to school, and since he was a senior. You felt a wave of dizziness almost every morning. The night's dinner is still wrapped in its paper bag. Claiming to take it for lunch. Dean never argued with you. Kiss your forehead and hitting the pillow quicker than he hit on the girls that passed by the motel's door.

Your father was already starting to become absent. The shadow of what a perfect family no one ever talked about. You thrived in the school building though. Sam kissed your forehead his height greatly giving him the advantage before saying his goodbyes to you and running to meet with his senior friends.

You walked alone in the hallways. The bullying started almost immediately the second you stepped into the building. Near of my brothers were aware of the shit I went through on a daily basis. Years later they still weren't.

You had settled on never telling them about my dislike for eating, you hoped and prayed most night that they'd never find out. It was better without their acknowledgment of your weakness. Who knows they might be the same way everyone was at school.

The last year had been hard for you and your brothers, your father making less, and less of an effort with all three of you. Your relationship was already straining to stay alive, the burning and hurt in the bit of your stomach was something that was constant now, and from what you could tell it wasn't going to get any better.

Your brothers are now in their early 20's still taking care of their baby sister. Nights you guys sat down for dinner were odd, without John there. The quiet days where a now older Sam would drive you to school, along by yourself all day long. The teasing being relentless.

The whole idea, you were constantly dizzy, constantly on the verge of falling asleep no matter if you were in class, or at the crappy motel room with your brothers.

Tonight though, tonight your world fell apart as you walked in through the door, your final year of schooling was just starting your summer of staying inside and reading was over. The hot day of September had gotten to you more than you were willing to say. As you walked in through the motel door, the cool air hitting you in your face, and the hot air of the evening summer day kicking you in your ass.

It was too much, down you and your light bookbag went. Dean had been on one of the motels' beds when he heard you fall, Sam behind hadn't been able to catch you even with his long arms.

You don' remember much. You do remember hearing the sounds of your brothers frantically rushing around the room, one dropping his gun, and the other rushing over to your side.

"Dean what the hell just happened?" Sam asked in a frantically worried voice. "I don't know all I heard was the engine of Baby, and then her fall to the floor," Dean said rushing to your thin frame. Neither had noticed until now when they finally had time to pay attention to their baby sister that she was rather thinner than a normal seventeen-year-old.

Paler then normal, "Sam do you notice it?" Dean asked as Sam pulled the lightweight bookbag from your small shoulders. A small hum came from Sams's lips, maybe it was too much to say it. The words making truth when they leave his lips.

Sam picked you up feeling just how boney you were. "How did we let her get this bad Dean?" He questioned, Dean kept his head down grabbing her bag and following behind Sam to the bed's side.

When you woke up your two brothers were talking quietly in the tiny kitchen. Sam saw you try to get up their conversation stopped at a halt, and they both came over to help you.

Quiet overcame the room. Dean was the first to speak. "How are you feeling, Y/n?" He asked, you shrugged your shoulders, the ache in your body was strong, but not enough to make that your brother's problems.

"Y/n please be honest with us... Is this the first time something like this has happened?" Your brother Sam asked. Swallowing hard, before talking you answered Dean's question. "I feel fine guys really nothing to worry about." Answering Sams was going to be harder, you don't really remember the last time something like this happened, maybe last week in school, maybe a few years ago. "I don't remember Sam." That was all you said. Sad expression littered their coarse and worn faces.

"Y/n, how long have been like this?" Dean asked, furrowed brows as he asked the question. "Like what?" You replied. "Like how you don't eat at dinner and think we don't notice, how long Y/n? Just answer please." Dean said.

You tried opening your mouth, but the pressure of being truthful with your brothers was overbearing. Trying again and still, nothing slipped out. Sam ur interrupted your train of thought. "Since dad started on with his hunt for yellow eyes?" Simple questions always have a simple answer.

"If you want an honest answer I'd say seven or eight." You said, pushing yourself up from laying in the bed to sitting up against the headboard. The gasps for air were real between your two brothers. One hand came to rest on top of yours while the other paced around the motel room.

Your guess as to which was mad, and empathic wasn't hard for you. Dean pacing around the room meant he was angry, and Sam's empathic hand on top of yours meant he to wanted help. "Why didn't you tell us?" Dean questioned me, Sam turned to look at his older brother. "That won't help, we were talking remember. We need to help her, bot questions her about her actions or even her reason why." Sam said, Dean, calm down as he continued to pace.

Sam returned his attention to you. Hand still laying on top of yours, "Y/n why don't we, all the three of us help you yeah?" He said you laughed a little and Dean looked up from his pacing feet. "I don't think you guys could ever help me. I've been and felt this way for ten years now. This is just how I am now. Broken and worthless to this Winchester family." You said the strain of holding back was harder than you thought. Dean had paused his pacing staring at you and Sams's hand had engulfed yours.

Dean came over, putting his finger under your chin, grabbing your attention. "You listen here, to Sam and I. We care more about you than you'll ever know. We don't care what any person thinks, we don't care about Dad as much as we care about our little sister. Now believe me when we say that all we want to do is help you, helping you is what Sam and I are here for. Y/n you aren't alone, you aren't, worthless, and you most definitely aren't broken. We can help you all you have to do is let us in." Dean said sitting down next to you when he was down.

"We love you and don't wanna see so much potential be wasted especially when we knew we could have helped you," Sam added. You were having a hard time believing them, but nothing would stop you from trying especially when you had your brothers by your side.

[synnthamonsugar]

Savathun's Trip to the Last City

Now that we have a clearer picture of what’s going on with Savathun I decided to compile the last year’s worth of her POV lore pieces together.

This is super long, and has spoilers for Path of the Splicer VI / Beneath the Endless Night VII, so I’m putting it under a cut.

Credit to @xivuuarath for reading through this and adding some of their ideas! We talked about more beyond what’s posted here, but this is getting long, so maybe that would be better saved for a part two.

1. Traveler's Chosen (Season of Arrivals)

This piece is told from the POV of a narrator viewing the events through an "ossific den". Based on later lore pieces, I'm certain the narrator is Savathun. Given that ahamkara bones have been compromised by her, and that Shaxx has an ahamkara skull slung up in his station, it’s safe to assume this is Sav’s vantage point.

That said, I don't believe Savathun is observing Shaxx, but rather Zavala, struggling in the wake of the Darkness' encroachment on the system and his colleagues' refusals to evacuate to safety. She seems pleased to find Zavala in a desperate state, and watches as he has a silent conversation with the Traveler. Of note is that she's waiting for it to respond.

He waits for a response and I do as well, tense, curious. [ . . . ] It is no time at all for me, but for him, the hours creep by in silence.

I am ready to choke the voice of his Traveler if it answers him, but there is nothing.

2. Harbinger Mission (Season of the Hunt)

Thank you to @xivuuarath​ for pointing this out since I didn’t include it the first time around. During the Harbinger mission Savathun’s forces are attempting to secure a Shard of the Traveler in the EDZ. Of note is that they aren’t trying to destroy it, but rather siphon the Light from it.

Given that the Shard of the Traveler is what allowed our Guardian to jumpstart their Light when they lost it during the Red War, and is what allowed Uldren Sov to break into the Dreaming City during the events of Forsaken, we can assume it’s useful to lightbearers and mortals alike. Make note of this, because it becomes potentially relevant later on.

2.5. Hawkmoon (Season of the Hunt)

From an unknown vantage point, Savathun watches The Guardian and Crow celebrate their defeat of her Taken at the Shard of the Traveler. Unlike Zavala, she can find no weak points in Crow or the Guardian, only happiness. This awakens something in her.

What is this feeling? I did not ask for it. I do not understand it. I do not want it.

Which gets repeated throughout the lore piece. This is our first glimpse of Savathun having feelings that don't fall into the range of "malevolence" or "plotting". She yearns for her youth with her siblings and the warmth of her old life, and feels burgeoning regret for the people she betrayed.

There is a growing kinship here. Against better judgment.

This is ambiguous enough to be a comment on Crow’s and The Guardian’s relationship, or herself and The Guardian and/or Crow. She's called us her friend before but this might be the first time she's actually had friendly feelings for us.

3. Books of Sorrow: New Verse (Season of the Hunt)

This hasn't actually been posted on Ishtar Collective and I'm too lazy to track down a transcript online, so pardon the source. There's a lot to unpack here.

I walk in a city made of delicate hopes.

Savathun has moved beyond occupying ahamkara bones and is actually physically present.

I hear my name everywhere. [. . .] The sound is nourishment.

Imbaru machine on-line?

I am more than I ever was, and less than I will ever be.

Make note of this line.

I am many and none. I'm a man who sits alone in a cavernous office counting my failures. I'm a woman looking at a silent god. I'm a lost soul on a cold moon. I'm a broken mirror of a man who tries to steer the ship.

Comparing (?) herself to Zavala, Ikora, Eris, and back to Zavala again?

I'm a familiar stranger, flitting between them all, hiding my face.

Again, I think she's speaking literally here.

The people here are small krill dwarfed by the enormity of oblivion.

A neat little comparison of humanity with the krill, who we established in her last appearance she's beginning to feel regret for.

4. Retrofuturist (Season of the Chosen)

Savathun watches a Crucible match, and judges Guardians for being reckless with the gift of immortality. The tone of this piece reinforces the idea she is actually out and about in a corporeal form.

I'm mostly interested in her perspective on Ghosts here. She calls them "A perfect being", and describes their ability to revive the dead as miraculous. She isn't happy that the spectators don't appreciate the gravity of this. Weird sentiment for a hive but ok.

I look up into the blank white face. I feel its Light on my cheeks. It no longer burns me.

The Hive are repelled by the Light. Savathun has grown to tolerate it. Something has changed in her metaphysical composition.

@xivuuarath​ made the excellent observation that she might have been at least partially successful in the Harbinger mission - that she may have secured enough Light to build up an immunity, allowing her to be physically present in the City without being hurt by the Traveler.

Each revival is a choice. I know what to do.

Tuck this away for a moment.

5. Beneath the Endless Night: VII - Ripe (Season of the Splicer)

Okay this whole page is insane so excuse the massive infodump here.

I walk through the City on broken legs. I am conspicuous, but the people here grant me many affordances. I chose this form well.

Confirmation that our girl is actually bumping about in a human-form.

I open my eyes and search the faces of the people around me for familiarity. I did not mean to. I twist inwardly with disgust.

She's sympathizing with the humans of the City. She does not like this, but she is!

When they first reached for me, I reached back in acid mockery, and they opened themselves to me in stupid, naked innocence. I was giddy. My fingers raked their minds. I forced my will through them using only words and met no resistance.

Now I reach as often as they do, and when they reach back, I am thankful. I speak with them. I seek their company. Their companionship.

In case it wasn’t obvious already, Savathun has been running a psy-op on the residents of the Last City, which may explain some of the particularly erratic and troubling behavior from individuals / groups this season.

However the interesting thing is, while Sav used her powers of suggestion to manipulate, the humans unknowingly manipulated her in return. Not through any magic - simply through their kindness.

Savathun is doing more than observing the people of the Last City, she is living with them, getting to know them. Savathun is making friends and it’s literally changing her.

This is not pity, for I know pity. What is this—

A call back to the Hawkmoon lore with her trying to make sense of budding positive feelings.

I clench the gangling black mass that threatens to unspool recklessly from within this shell of flesh. My new arms are too thin, too weak. My new shell still bound with thick mucus. Not yet, I say.

I suspect that the “new shell” she talks about here is not her human-form, but rather something else growing inside it.

A man places his hands on me, on my shoulders, on my back. He asks if I am ill, and he sees my flat eyes, my teeth black with ripeness, and he prepares to scream. I let him keep his mind. I push breath up and through my ruined mouth and speak a simple lie. He stops, smiles, laughs. Shakes his head. He points a finger at me in mocking admonishment before walking away.

A few things to unpack here.

Savathun is physically deteriorating... badly. @xivuuarath pointed out that the body horror of this particular scene mirrors the Emissary’s description of a world with no darkness and creatures that are incapable of death even as they physically fall apart, and if you follow that line of thinking you may infer that she’s forcing herself to live through light alone.

She's approachable enough that some rando would see her in trouble and want to help her, reinforcing the point that she's been wandering about the City and vibing with its residents.

She could have done worse to the good samaritan but chooses not to. She does her mind trick and lets him go about his business. She’s showing mercy... which is something we know the hive absolutely must not do at the risk of being consumed by their worm.

Even here, basted in deception both ample and rich, the Worm cries ravenously. It has grown grotesque, skin taut, overfed, and still it howls for more. It commands me to keep it alive.

I look up, beyond the flickering net of darkness, and see what rests just beyond. Waiting for me. The Worm roars.

NOT DISCONCERTINGLY AMBIGUOUS AT ALL that we don't know if the worm is roaring in terror, pleading or triumph.

TL;DR of what I think is going on.

Savathun came to the City to destabilize it through manipulation, but could not be physically present until she hardened herself to the Light. Camouflaging herself in a human form, she spent time with the residents of the City, and found herself manipulated in return by their kindness. She's resisting the positive emotions, but they're there, which is something we've never seen between hive and humans before. You can't have a crisis of conscience if you don't have a conscience, and Savathun does.

I think Savathun is trying to shed her current form and be reborn in some capacity. I think she's going to try to use the Light to rid herself of the Worm and bootstrap herself into something new. If you'd asked me before reading this lore, I would have insisted that she wanted to become a thought-entity, but the cocoon-like imagery makes me second-guess this assumption.

There are outstanding questions at this point.

Why did she want to prevent Eris and/or The Guardian from communicating with the Darkness in Season of Arrivals? Is there a purpose to the Endless Night beyond eroding willpower and sowing division? Is she trying to save only herself, or attempt to undo the millennia-old injustice she inflicted on her people?

[swanhookheart]

Angry Grishaverse book review time!

After watching and LOVING s1 of Shadow and Bone, I read the trilogy! I was not impressed. 

Spoilers incoming for Grishaverse stuff, so if you don’t want those, don’t read on!

Watching Shadow and Bone this past weekend, I was hooked : Darklina, the lore behind the amplifiers, the Aleksander backstory… I was really impressed and hoped that this was it--that at last, I’d found a fantasy series that was going somewhere big, something I could really, thoroughly sink my teeth into. 

*Sigh* 

Then I read the books.

The reader / viewer enters the Grishaverse associating darkness with pure evil. The Fold, described early on, is shown to be this bleak, awful, ruinous place where people go to be eaten alive by volcra and hope goes to die. We therefore, naturally, associate the Darkling--who possesses the power of shadow--with that evil from the off. I’m speaking as someone who only got into the Grishaverse last Saturday. My initial thoughts were, “oh, he’s being set up to be viewed as dark and scary; this is the expectation Bardugo wants us to have so that we’ll be blown away by some great twist later. Count me in!”

But that twist never came. He was set up as evil, and he stayed evil. Surprise, he’s the Black Heretic! Surprise, he’s an abomination effectively created by Morezova’s greed! Surprise, he’s ruthless and horrible and does cruel things! Except none of those things are actually surprising, given he was SET UP from the beginning to be viewed that way. He did bad things, walked a bad walk, and talked a bad talk. I kept thinking “ah, so he’s gonna get a sweeeet redemption arc,” and then he just never did. That element of the story was predictable to a nauseating degree, and that predictability made the entire universe feel a bit flat. If the reader saw more of his backstory, had more real, logical, sound justification for why he does the things he does (like in the show, where they at least tried to paint his actions as borne of some misplaced sense of servitude / protection for the Grisha or where we saw him actively struggling at points to grapple with the darkness inside him), then maybe the trilogy wouldn’t have been such a letdown. And yes, I know about his sacrifice or whatever later on. It’s not enough.

In villains, I and probably plenty of others like to see humanity. We want to empathize with our villains to a certain extent--to understand them just a little bit--so we can fully commit to hating them when they violate our trust. The Darkling didn’t have that human, redeeming quality, though--at least, not in the books. In the books, he was just a power-hungry jackass who simultaneously didn’t want to be alone and kept trying to kill his only opportunity not to be alone. His single-mindedness, his lack of human empathy, the simplicity with which he pursued this made him seem almost stupid to me as a reader. For someone who’s lived hundreds of years, he’s kind of an idiot when it comes to other people--which, itself, almost seems incongruous with his having lived for so long. If he’d maybe had more backstory or more in his story to justify his actions, maybe he’d feel like a better villain. But atm, all I’m doing is rolling my eyes with him. I couldn’t love him because he didn’t put in any work toward being a better person. Even in the end, he doesn’t actually do the work or repent. But I also can’t hate him because the source material hasn’t given me enough actual human qualities to hate or to feel betrayed. His character just… missed the mark for me. 

As did Mal’s. Fucking MAL, oh my GOD! This dude’s literal only personality trait was loving Alina. Cool, he could track--for Alina, mostly. He could fight--for Alina. “I am become a blade”? Sir, you got a whole-ass tattoo announcing that you’re an object in this woman’s service? No WAP is worth that, and I’m speaking as a very bisexual woman. My dude, it’s weird, it’s extra, it’s just too much. I’ll go back to the Darkling for two seconds to say that, ofc, his actions were painted as problematic and misogynistic and gross. But, like, the possessiveness Mal displays with Alina kinda feels on that same level? Why are we pretending he’s better when he actively tries to keep her low, keep her powerless, and keep her his? Again, dude got a tattoo of her sigil. He was fully prepared to be the leader of her guard even if she married Nikolai just for the opportunity for some sexytimes. I know that YA is about really intense emotion, the fire of teenage hormones and stuff, but that all just felt a bit toxic. The way that his entire life revolved around her while she tried to balance the role of saint, hero, orphan, and all the things she was just felt goofy and like a wildly unhealthy dynamic. 

Their whole relationship also felt really obvious, as I guess the Darkling being revealed as the trilogy’s big bad did. It was predictable, set up to be that way from the start. There were no surprises. It was Mal, and then it was still Mal, and in the end, it was also Mal. We weren’t really shown any of what made them so drawn to each other, we were just kind of told and expected to be fine with the intensity of it. But it read as being way too much for me, and god, it kept getting worse. Again, this one felt like low-hanging fruit--low effort, lazy writing. Nothing about it actually read to me as romantic, just as too much. They didn’t so much as fall in love as just start out that way, and reading that was somewhere between boring and uncomfortable. At least with the Darkling or hell--even Nikolai--we saw some of that chemistry unfold on the page. We were shown some of what made them work the way they did. There was something underpinning their relationship, and not just “oh, they’re supposed to be together”. I mean, after all JKR’s bullshit, I feel totally fine saying fuck authorial intent. If you can’t even be bothered to actually put your shit on the page, don’t ask me to blindly accept your version canon as gospel truth. 

We could have had Deckerstar vibes, Beauty and the Beast vibes, seen light and dark come together and surprise us by actually working well together. But no, we saw a special girl lose everything that made her special and settle for some mediocre fuckboy from her hometown. We get characters that actually have the potential to be dynamic and make for a good story, but she still ends up with this bland, vanilla, trick-ass bitch? It’s a major letdown when you’ve actually been exposed to decent fictional couples, tbh.

OOF! And the ending? Oh jesus fuck, that ending. Darkling just… dies. Just like that. I read three whole books for that? I know he comes back and dies again and all, but the whole trilogy felt like it was building up to something more, something deeper and greater and more profound. He was horrible for the things he did, sure, and he deserved defeat as long as he refused to waver from his power-hungry, destructive path. But his death brought about no closure. He and Alina never actually had the fight they needed to or reached an understanding with each other. Everything is left undone, unsaid, unexplored. The ending just felt super anticlimactic on the page, and so, the trilogy as a whole fell completely short of any mark I hoped it might hit.

Did I hope Darklina would be endgame? Sure. But I’d also have been A-okay with a tragic ending if it had been done right. Did I think it would have been a lot more interesting to see a redemption arc for Darkling than just… more of the same? Or maybe Mal develop a personality outside of Alina? Absolutely. There was so much potential, and it really feels like Bardugo squandered all of it. And for what? This was nearly as disappointing as the eighth season of Game of Thrones. I probably won’t be watching future seasons if they follow the books, but I guess I’m glad for the day or so of fleeting pleasure I got when I still had hope for a properly told story.