#there arent a lot of choices and in the actual story theres only like 4 main characters so its hard to imagine a rly big group

[the-lightless-flame]

ok i promised @bornetoblood so here is the web!agnes headcanon

this takes a bit of explaination so ill go into how it would work and then ill talk about why i like it

(also obviously this is just based on my interpretation of agnes and her story, if u have a different interpretation of her thats fine!! i just love my funny messiah woman and want to see her happy)

this became very long so the essay is under the cut

ANYWAy so the 'how':

jonny said in the season 4 q+a that one could probably sever their connection with the desolation via a completely selfless sacrifice.

agnes' suicide probably fits this description; the in-canon explanation (from what agnes told arthur) is so that the lightless flame could eventually try the scorched earth again with another messiah.

i dont fully believe what arthur said, and its definitely possible that she was just telling him what he wanted to hear. in that case, her making the decision to once and for all stop herself from being able to bring about the scorched earth probably counts as a selfless act as well, cause even if the scorched earth was never actually going to work, she didnt know that.

the first option doeshave a certain irony to it imo, but it doesnt really fit with how i see her at this point, as i think at this point shes not that loyal to the lightless flame (see: jack barnabus). it doesnt really matter to the headcanon tho, all that matters is that agnes committed a selfless act.

doing this disconnected her from the lightless flame, but in doing so she could have potentially connected to another entity.

all that's really required for becoming an avatar is choice, but physical and metaphysical death is encouraged; agnes is experiencing both (physical is obvious, and metaphysical as the death of her as messiah of the desolation).

imo the web is the obvious choice. she already has a connection with it through gertrude and hilltop road, and a lot of agnes' story is about the ways the lightless flame controlled and groomed her, as well as how her final weeks were when she finally managed to get some kind of control over her life (even if that control is her own death). basically, since control is a big theme in agnes' story, and taking control is the prominent feeling that led to her death, i dont think creating a connection to the embodiment of control is such a reach.

so agnes goes through something similar to jon's coma. maybe the lightless flame thinks shes dead, maybe they realise she isnt connected to the desolation anymore and leave her alone.

from there, agnes just does whatever. probably tries not to do anything too notable. she burns emma harvey's house with gertrude obviously, and she does need to feed her power but i dont think she'd do anything thatd get in a statement.

ok so thats how i think it could happen. now why i like it:

first, i dont really like agnes having died. it works fine as an ending to her story as a part of the show at large i guess, and it doesnt really matter to me in that sense. but for her as a character, i think her ending just makes her generic tragic character and thats not really my kind of thing. idk, like i said im not mad about it being her ending or anything, theres definitely a lot to be said for how her living under the lightless flame couldve led to that decision, but its not really what i want for her.

there is also how it relates to the queer reading of her story, but i talked about that earlier.

also i want her to be happy. leave me alone.

second, i really like the idea of agnes having a semi-normal life. she still has web stuff, but its mostly just subtle stuff (we know there are a lot of spooks that arent reported to the institute, and i think what she does is probably that). gertrude tracks her down at some point to help killing emma harvey, but that it.

the web probably doesnt need her to do anything major, cause thats what annabelle's for and shes only a few years away from being an avatar.

in the eyepocalypse she probably tries not to make things too bad for people in her domain, as much as thats a thing she can actually do.

third, iirc it means that every web avatar thats dead was killed by another web avatar. and i think thats fun. obviously she wouldnt have been a web avatar for raymond, but she probably wouldve been marked and thats enough for me.

i like the imagery of the web keeping people only until theyve become obsolete, i imagine it probably wouldnt want to keep people around once theyve done what it needed them to do. also spider imagery.

fourth, agnes did not get NEARLY enough opportunity to be gay. like she probably fucked jude for at least a while but there is. no way that relationship was healthy. (i could talk a lot more about that but this is already too long)

idk who with. i like gertrudeagnes conceptually but i also like them only having met once. they probably did fuck tho.

i saw a fic earlier that shipped her and annabelle and i havent read it yet but that sounds fun.

idk maybe she just finds a normal, non-aligned girlfriend. thats probably the best option. anyway let her be gay

ok thats it the essay is done. i probably forgot stuff but ill just talk about it later. again this is just my headcanon, u might interpret her different to me and thats fine! the whole point of her story is we dont know that much about what shes really like so theres a lot thats just up to personal opinion.

if for some ungodly reason u read all of this then why??? (i just checked its at like a thousand words wtf) but also tysm i probably wont have children but if i do u are now entitled to my firstborn.

this is too long im going to stop talking now bye

[unironicduncanstan]

total drama / darkest minds au

some ideas ive got going for my au cuz im an angst lovign fuck,,,

so if you havent seen the movie or read the books the rundown is, every child/teen on earth starts gaining powers or (more often) dies in the process, their powers correlate to the color their eyes glow whenever they use it, government decides to put survivors in camps, story follows runaways, angsty YA dystopian adventure stuff ensues!

the main characters+powers i thought out so far are

courtney is green (supergenius)

duncan is blue (telekinetic)

izzy is red (pyrokinesis/fire breath basically)

gwen is yellow (electrokinesis/can manipulate electricity)

heather is orange (mind control/memory manipulation)

cody is also a blue but he cant control his powers very well yet and duncan is,, Not very excited to train him

i was thinking noah could be a sarcastic ass green and at first nobody even believes him when he says hes green bc every single smart comment is filtered through a layer of sass but when he starts putting effort in he actually becomes a good asset

timeline;

in the actual story theres quite a few big escapes from the camps so i imagine them all leaving at various points and finding each other later on

duncan and gwen (the two goths) team up in the escape and izzy finds them and kind of just,,,, doesnt leave 

same with cody and noah later

finally theres courtney, who escaped on her own way before any of them did and shes doing jUSt FIne until they all infiltrate her hiding spots

and then theres heather who,,, they want to keep around bc oranges are considered in universe to be the strongest/most dangerous but they start to regret that decision, really fast,

backstories; 

courtneys so smart that when she developed her powers hardly anyone noticed a difference. she only got caught when the govt really started cracking down on survivors

as soon as duncan got his powers he immediately started using them to get into trouble and thought it was pretty cool actually till all the government takeover shit started happening. in this universe parents are heavily encouraged to turn their kids in when they get powers and since his parents were cops (something im dragging into this story too) he just decided to run away from home, and still ended up getting caught bc again, he ca nnot stay out of trouble

cody got his powers while he was bedridden with the flu, so it was a pretty uneventful time but he thinks thats why his powers turned out so weak and hard to control

izzys so wild that her parents dont pay a lot of attention to her anymore (a hc i have for main universe izzy too r.i.p.) so her situation was pretty much the same as courtneys, no one suspected anything till govt officials showed up at her door and she blasted them out with a fireball

heather was actually the most freaked out by her powers and pretends to embrace them now because she likes the control aspect of it, but deep down she wishes she had gotten literally Anything else

gwen was also freaked out by her powers, she couldnt use any electronics without frying them and (much like the main electrokinetic character in tdm) had to wear gloves for a while to avoid destroying everything

noah just didnt. really care till he got to the camp and constantly got in trouble for mouthing off to the guards (greens have to do forced labor and arent even allowed to make eye contact with guards, you tell me that little twink wouldnt have his feet up on the table and be sayign shit like ‘since im so smart ive decided that this is bullshit and you should be working for me’)

relationships;

yall know i hate all the love triangle stuff so i just imagine duncney, similar to how it happened in tdi aka slow burn annoyance that turns into ‘oh no s/hes hot’

gwen and courtney are tight af bc thEy DesErVe ThaT FrIEnDSHip ,

izzy is also somewhat in the gal group and heather woudl rather die than associate with any of them

duncan is (begrudgingly) training cody to use his powers better so theyre,,,, al most fri en ds? ?

noah is more tight with these people than heather is but in a similar boat where hes just kinda. along for the ride and doesnt rly want to get close to anyone,,, feel free to turn that into a slow burn noco thing at your own discretion,

anyways thats all i got rn i wish i had the energy to write a fic or smth but i gotta get school done first so please humbly accept what my brain has compiled

[rival-ado]

owo I'm curious. But like could order like all the pmd and why you like/dislike each one?

AHHHHHH !!!!! okay hope ur ready for a lot of rambling this might be one of my favorite asks ever fjlsjfJTKFJ

1.) pmd2 !! this is my favorite by far and my first pmd game , specifically explorers of sky !!!!

the story is SO good , the characters are really good and interesting and memorable , theres a lot to do main game AND post game , not to mention special episodes [ theyre ALL so good but i give my life to special episode 5 . ive replayed it so many times ] !!! i could go on forever ahfjsjkfkg . the only negative things i can rlly think about rn are fixed in the later games [ moving in dungeons can be slow and depending on ur type a lot of dungeons can be hell + teammates can be a nuisance rather than helpful ] but !! a rlly big plus is you can make your own missions thru a generator online and get literally any item you want , its super helpful [ reviver seeds are super important to have ] !! i havent replayed it in a while so i might have more to say later but i really could write papers about this game i love it so much alfjskfk

2.) psmd !! the most recent pmd game , and my second favorite !!!

this game has every pokemon gen 1-7 and every single one has a different mission AND theyre all connected to each other . you can get missions from characters from previous games [ grovyle + celebi mission ; __ ; ] . i recommend playing this game last tho if you plan on playing them all !! the story is pretty good and has some rlly good twists , theres post game but not a ton [ unless u want to do every mission ] , you can befriend and play as any pkmn you want which is rlly cool !!! also theres a pushing mechanic which is not only super helpful but rlly funny to me [ shoves an entire line of teammates out of harms way ] . for the negatives ... the characters are interesting but i dont remember them as well , i wish there was more character development . i dont hate the final boss but ... its kinda a reused concept from pmd3 which i wasnt fully a fan of in the first place [ spoilers ? the final boss isnt a pkmn , its just negativity ] . they bring back apples which isnt rlly bad but i sure didnt miss them . leveling up is HELL . i rlly dislike the fact that you have to buy saves for dungeons though , no quicksaves if you have to do something all of a sudden , no saves at rest stops mid dungeon . you gotta buy em and bring em along , im pretty sure its only this game that does it but i hope they dont keep it . nevertheless its a solid pmd game !!!

3.) pmd3 !! gates to infinity !!! i gotta be honest im barely putting this above red/blue rescue team but i WILL bc despite its very big flaws it also has a lot of ups !!

okay this game along with everything gen 5 gets a lot of hate and i can sure see why with this one but i still think its rlly good !!! im actually gonna start with the negatives on this one to get em out of the way but . paradise building does not interest me . no stacking missions [ you cant do more than one at a time ] , the rewards are just supplies that go towards building paradise , the final boss doesnt rlly interest me [ again spoilers same as psmd: its not a pkmn ] , and it just has so many differences from the usual pmd formula and i cant promise that theyre all ..... positive . plus the VERY limited choices for hero and partner [ i wont complain much bc i wouldve chosen the given pkmn over other starters anyways but . no quiz , only 5 pkmn compared to other games 15+ ? oof ] A..... ANYWAYS now that thats over . POSITIVES ..... i rlly like the characters ! the main ones and even the villains have a little development !! [ dunsparse emolga hydreigon ILY ] the story itself is good ; im not a fan of concepts that appear for one game and are never even mentioned later but the entercards [ ? ] are interesting and the frozen chasm recorder thing may have made me want to cry . i dont want to specifically spoil anything but this game can be a little brutal at times too ? leaving friends behind , being chased down by the villains , being split up from your friends , not gonna say the exact scenes bc of spoils but when things get rlly bad and how desperate the hero and partner can get when theyre trying to protect each other ..... [ cries ] . while some mechanics of the game arent my favorite , the story is good and can make u damn emotional .......

4.) pmd !! red/blue rescue team !!! i cant even call this my least favorite bc i have no real least favorites when it comes to this series but i just like the others a little better ahkfjsjfkc

im a little more biased bc this is the last game of the series i played even tho its the original . BUT i still have so many good things to say about it and i would probably recommend this first ? i dont remember there being a lot of characters compared to the other games but they sure leave an impression on you . i also like how the partner is kinda sassy and like , they just met you but would literally do anything for you and believe in you even when you dont believe in yourself . every pmd game has good twists but i RLLY like the one they pulled here . also you spend a good amount of the game being on the run from people you trusted literally trying to kill you which is fucked up but i really like how they played the story . i didnt even play it that long ago but writing this makes me want to play it again smfjkskfj ... the main negatives i can think about are all stuff fixed in future games again [ and you can also do the same make your own mission generator and get items to make the game easier ] . a lot of the bosses are the same type / resistant to the same type so depending on your hero / partner it could go rlly smoothly or rlly badly [ to anyone choosing grass type pkmn . godspeed ] . i think this might be the shortest pmd game and it might be hard bc its the first , but if youre looking to rlly get into the series id go with this one first . if you just want to test the waters id go with pmd2 !!

T.... TYSM FOR THE ASK and these are all opinions of course and its just my thoughts but if you got all the way down here . ily

[howlitecritical]

New character arcs and new back story because canon sucks again

Main 4 cast with notes on characters that need notes for changes to make sense  Garnet: yesyesyesyesyeysyes everything good about this show. There’s not enough garnet centric things where she’s just herself and not about ruby and sapphire. More information on Garnet. Shes stoicly funny and just murders people with words sometimes. show her being rose’s top tactician. turning the tides of the war that were never in the crystal gem’s favor. maybe theres a fun earth thing shes into. Her room is the heart of the temple for a reason now. Its a balance between pearl and amethyst. The bubbles are organized, but she has her own side space with things she does as hobbies. She has a collection of antique books that she likes to read lava side and she often meditates to see corrupted gems and a future in which the CGs encounter them. maybe she even draws them out to combine ruby’s need to Do with sapphire's need to Know. Fusion is still very important to her, but not she has plot relevant interests that make sense with her character. Her character arc involves her being the first of her kind. shes something completely new! just like steven is. and for that not to bind them together is silly. She wants the best for steven and he makes her want to be an even better leader now that rose is gone and shes the only one left. she makes him think about his actions and slows down his hyper activity when he or amethyst are trying to do something reckless. From him she learns that it’s okay to let her guard down more. Homeworld might come back, but it’s not all on her shoulders. the CGs are a family and they’ll protect everyone together. Garnet in jailbreak is the first time we know shes a fusion and before that we get more about her character not just from environment around her, but her reactions to things. Maybe she feels like she needs to be in control because shes afraid that without rose, homeworld is more a danger than ever.

Amethyst: I like most of her progression actually!!! a few things I’d mess with is when she’s unnecessary hurtful to people she loves, like greg, when she shape shifted into rose, and peridot when she all but threw her stuff into the ocean. these things need to be gotten rid of, or addressed by the narrative. I’d also like to see her hanging around Vidalia wayyyyy sooner or to have a reason why they dont. As for reasons, maybe Amethyst did or said something hurtful toward her, lashing out at her for whatever reason that made their friendship strained. while a decade is a long time for a human, for a gem its nothing. so while she feels bad, Am’ isnt going to apologize herself!!! she didnt do anything wrong!!! and maybe Vidalia is the first person steven convinces her to apologize to. Steven teaches her compassion and is, in return, the gem he can relate to the best. He goes to her first with gem issues and she acts like an older sibling, trying to teach him or cover up mistakes so pearl and garnet dont find out. I think i’d like a progression of Am’ refusing to apologize to Vidalia, realizing that she was wrong and apologizing to greg, but he breaks down and can’t move past that, rendering their friendship difficult and strained as a “sometimes apologizing isnt enough and you have to change your behavior“ and then the third beat with peridot either not happening at all, where she doesnt throw someone’s comfort items into the ocean which, i think steven shouldve realized and stopped her from doing anyway, BUT if you just NEED that mistake on her part, i feel like this could be a “sometimes, you dont know how bad you hurt someone and you should apologize when you find out“ with peridot being hurt and not talking to her and amethyst has to do a big gesture to show shes sorry. I also feel like that fleshes out amedot as a ship and while i dont care about who peridot ends up with, i care about story and the way im going to make this story go, lapis will be in that fun moral grey area and i want more options in terms of story telling and of fan choice. Also!!! explore the possibility of her being deep cut and thats why shes a runt. she only looks smaller but has all these strengths because of it!!! it fits in really well and bismuth or peridot maybe because she was made for kindergardening, could tell her about it and watch her get excited because shes not ”wrong“ she never came out “wrong“ shes just different and thats okay!

Pearl: Was white diamond’s pearl, first of all! that makes every interaction more interesting, because no only did she defect from homeworld, but she defected from the Queen of homeworld and everything it stood for basically. We learn more about how homeworld operates and what places in society each gem fits from pearl, because while she doesn’t believe it herself, she isn’t kept from talking about diamonds now and what one she served. in this funky fresh au, she is sent by white to make sure the new diamond they’re cultivating from earth comes out properly (aka where the fuck did russia go) and getting her equipped with all of the technology she would need to properly rule. this is where she first meets a quartz soldier. at first she’s taken aback by the quartz’s forwardness, no one had ever talked to her like... an equal before. shes not sure if shes allowed to speak, though, she knows theyre waiting for a response. Their first interactions always begin with her requesting permission to speak. They have to wait a few more years for pink to emerge and while they’re there they slowly become friends as the life is leeched out of the area. we could have a snapshots of them waiting for together, rose getting bored and convincing pearl to come do things with her, slowly breaking her out of her shell. Pearl’s difficulty and character arc comes from not just rose and getting over her feelings, which is perfectly fine, but doesnt need to be her only trait, but finding out who she is now, not just after rose, but with humanity as a whole. with the war well and truly over. she wants to learn about what rose thought was so important to fight for, to die for, and because of that, we get her partaking in human activities that arent eating or drinking, because she still dislikes them. While Garnet reads and collects books, i think pearl being really into her weapons collection is a good idea to flesh her out more. Where did she get her swords from? Well thats a mystery. She mentions someone she cared about a long time ago made them for her and thus we get some fun bismuth foreshadowing.

Rose:  And rose..... god... we could of had it all by adele plays in the background anytime i think about her. Here we have a very beautiful fat woman. Shes framed as elegant and regal by the show time and time again and i LOVED that. however after the pink diamond reveal, I have such mixed feelings about her. No more diamond bullshit. Shes the first gem that popped out. Technically she’s too early and she goes to stand guard around the birthplace of her diamond. That is where she and pearl first meet. Pearl is the first gem she ever talks to and while she innately knows stuff about home world, shes pick up a lot from the humans that live nearby. theyve shown her kindness and given her furs to wear and in turn she helped them heal their wounded by crying on them. (yes she still has healing powers sue me) she loves the humans and takes to befriending them before pearl shows up. The two of them get close and after pink diamond pops out, rose realizes what the creation of gems truly means for the world around her. They’re killing what was here before them. This isn’t creation. It’s an invasion. Being the only quartz out so far, shes forced into the role of commander for pink. Her favored soldier. And the more she does what she was “made for” the more she hates it and the more she hates the diamond authority. she convinces pink that some humans are worth keeping. As a curiosity, my diamond. they could prove useful to terraforming other planets or moons to accept life and in time, gem cultivation.  She gets poofed while trying to save someone from the group of people she first made friends with. Maybe pink shatters whoever poofed her for not following her orders because of course Rose wouldnt defy her. rose is Loyal, unlike the rest of you lack luster garbage. Rose comes back with her iconic dress and shes here and queer and shes fucking Done with this shit. she hears about the shattering on her behalf and she goes to pink and asks why and she feels sick to her stomach because star, my diamond, she isnt Worth it. she isnt worth the cost of someone else’s whole Life!!! Oh rose... you’ve always been soft hearted. in this time, Pearl is quietly there. waiting to be called back by white as pink pearl has just been sent to take her place. And this is it. This is the moment rose decides to rebel. according to homeworld, her life should be no more than any other quartz. her life shouldnt be traded for that of others. So why? Why did pink do this? Do the gems in her court mean nothing to her? This is the first time a gem has ever summoned two weapons. A Sword and Shield. A knight turning on her master. She tried to attack pink. to poof her. to send a message right here and now that gems are all equal. that a lowly rose quartz is strong enough to take on a diamond! She fails, but only partly. she manages to strike a blow, but pink stays in tact long enough to strike on of her own, sending rose retreating into her gem. This is when pearl has to make a choice. No matter what she’d be shattered. Pink’s wrath when she reforms, white’s when she finds out about what happened. This is a death sentence. But if its a death sentence, its one she’ll choose for herself. she takes rose’s shield and uses the face of it to shatter pink herself, scooping up rose’s gem and getting as far away as fast as she can. This is the start of a war.

Steven: Oh boi. So i love steven, but theres moments where hes just... not good and the story doesnt stop him from doing that. So if were gonna say hes a kid with emotion based powers, we know hes soft and sweet and excitable. sometimes he pushes people too far because hes trying to do what he thinks is best. I want him to wrestle with the fact that his mom, this person everyone says is good, killed someone. she did something so horrible and she never killed anyone again, but she still did it once. I’d like him to get bits and pieces of his mothers memories and so we get to see the world and flashback things that happened in real time. Maybe he tries to talk to pearl about it, but she still wont instead of cant. He feels like an outcast and everyone would rather his mom be there, but they have him instead. basically a lot of his earlier character arc stuff before garnet and pearl talk to him about how homeworld was. They dont think hes old enough to hear about war, but it seems war is coming back and hes unprepared to face it without learning more. he facilitates more interactions with the townies and now its not just a war of gems against gems, they have humans on their side too and they’ll win!  

[comicteaparty]

February 3rd-February 9th, 2020 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party week long chat that occurred from February 3rd, 2020 to February 9th, 2020.  The chat focused on Park Planet by Sammy Newman.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

Comic Tea Party

BOOK CLUB START!

Hello and welcome everyone to Comic Tea Party’s Book Club~! This week we’ll be focusing on Park Planet by Sammy Newman~! (http://parkpla.net/)

You are free to read and comment about the comic all week at your own pace until February 9th, so stop on by whenever it suits your schedule! Discussions are freeform, but we do offer discussion prompts in the pins for those who’d like to have them. Additionally, remember that while constructive criticism is allowed, our focus is to have fun and appreciate the comic! Whether you finish the comic or can only read a few pages, everyone is welcome to join and chat with us!

DISCUSSION PROMPTS – PART 1

1. What did you like about the beginning of the comic?

2. What has been your favorite moment in the comic (so far)?

3. Who is your favorite character?

4. Which characters do like seeing interact the most?

5. What is something you like about the art? If you have a favorite illustration, please share it!

6. What is a theme you like that the comic explores?

7. What do you like about the comic’s story or overall related content?

8. Overall, what do you think the comic’s strengths are?

Don’t feel inspired by the prompts? Feel free to discuss anything else that interested you!

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

first impressions are that the art has an attractive newspaper-comic style and is very clean for being a rare traditionally drawn comic

RebelVampire

Attractive newspaper style is a good way to describe it. What I like about the art the most though are the unique merger of the complex designs and the simplicity. For example, the faces are a bit simple to match the tone and overall nature of the comic. Yet at the same time, there's all these interesting alien designs throughout that are all very unique. But everything fits so seamlessly together. Which I feel is kind of the strength of the comic. Is it does a really great job with balancing different aspects. Complexity and simplicity, serious drama and comedy, etc. It's one of those comics that feels like warm soup because it has a bit of everything.

Ranger

Indeed, thus far it blends individual vignettes with characterization very well to remain fresh while still maintaining enough coherency to be enjoyable. Will definitely keep reading it

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

I think "warm soup" is a great way to describe the comic! It has this cozy, nostalgic feel that you'd get from a well-written Sunday newspaper comic - but the concept is also super unique and intriguing on its own! - Can we talk about how great of a character Paisley is? She's got the whole emotionless robot vibe going, but she's one of the kindest characters in the comic despite that. And the way her character develops over the course of the comic is super satisfying (e.g., getting a date at the dance)!

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

I'm in love with the charming stylization of letters and layout so far-- its easy to sink in a read some pages during downtime and pick right up for the next read. Page 5 of 'craft time' made me snort out loud, these jokes are always landing and play out well! And as far as fav character, Paisley is so sweet and is def hitting chords for me!

varethane

I love the end of this page where Paisley lights the fire with her eyes to impress the campers!!! http://parkpla.net/index.php/page/book-0001/004-paisleys-day/

RebelVampire

I do like the interesting blend Paisley has going on between being robotic and being human. I actually like that the story doesn't go too serious on the whole theme of humanity when it comes to non-humans. Although my favorite moment regarding Paisley is when the translators break and Paisley's joke is to speak in binary. It's definitely one of my favorite things about the beginning of the comic since I think it really captures both the comedy and unique alien aspects of the comic.

However, if I had to pick a favorite character I'd go with Wurlitzer. Cause I can't even. This is legit one of the most unpredictable characters to me, and I enjoy every moment Wurlitzer is around, because its just the sort of character that causes conflict by being in the same room as any other character.

I'd actually even say my fave moment is the company get together where Wurlitzer is doing introductions and is just kind of oblivious to everyone's attitudes and awkwardness. It's both funny, but also makes the social awkwardness relateable since it's easy to imagine having a boss like this. Overally, though, I also like any moments where the alien thing is brought up. This to me is the best part of the content cause there's so much to explore here and it just brings this really unique concept to webcomics by combining it with a park.

Ranger

Paisley is a favorite thus far

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Everybody loves Paisley and so do I

I think "warm soup" and "Sunday comic" are great descriptions

But the world with the non-human characters brings uniqueness

Found a mistake on this page:

http://parkpla.net/wp-content/uploads/2019/09/SM5_tumblrtest.jpg

The dialogue randomly changes into type

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

I love this art style

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

i think the type is intentional

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

That might have been an intentional choice if the artist was pressed for time or something

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

she's talking like through her teeth and mumbling

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I thought that may be the case, but his text also changes into type? So I think the author typesets by hand tracing over typed text, and forgot to do it here, maybe?

Comic Tea Party

DISCUSSION PROMPTS – PART 2

9. What do you think happened to the humans and Earth? What do you think necessitated the creation of the park, and do you think it’s helping to preserve what’s left of Earth?

10. What moment of the work mixer did you relate to or enjoy the most and why? What about the entire scenario in general captures what it’s like to socialize at events like this?

11. What aspect of human-alien interaction have you enjoyed the most so far? How has this changed or given context to your thinking in how much of our lives are culture based?

12. What do you think this comic can teach us in general about fitting in with others, especially when we personally feel socially outcasted?

Don’t feel inspired by the prompts? Feel free to discuss anything else that interested you!

RebelVampire

To address one of the prompts I didn't get to, I like seeing Wurlitzer interact with basically anyone. I never really know what I'm going to get when it comes to Wurlitzer, so any strip goes to unexpected and fun places in those cases. Onto story stuff though! As for what happened to the humans, definitely some sort of mass extinction event. Probably something like climate change not fixed because of the fact they're also trying to preserve animals from earth as well. So I have a distinct feeling Earth isnt habitable in the comic's setting. >_> I also mentioned my favorite moment from the mixer earlier. However, in regards to the second part of the question, for me what really capture what its like to socialize at events like this is the facial expressions. Every single person is just a bit stiff, and even if they arent miserable, theres this hint in their expressions that they don't really want ot be there. And I feel most ppl feel that way about company get togethers. It's more tedious than it is fun. XD For human-alien interactions, it's actually probably this strip http://parkpla.net/index.php/page/book-0001/005-upcoming-events-at-hartwood-park/ Particular the last panel where the alien is making fun of ice cream for being so filled with sugar. I kind of feel this comic in general is a good reminder that "normal" is malleable. What's normal somewhere really isn't normal elsewhere. And it's usually the stuff we take for granted as normal. Like I'm sure one day there'll be aliens who see us eating with forks and go "WTF are these weirdos doing they have perfectly good hands." But either way, I kind of feel the comic shows a lot of scenes like that where just a bunch of mundane things are novel and weird to aliens.

Comic Tea Party

DISCUSSION PROMPTS – PART 3

13. What are you most looking forward to seeing in regards to the comic?

14. Any final words of encouragement for the comic?

Don’t feel inspired by the prompts? Feel free to discuss anything else that interested you!

RebelVampire

In regards to what this comic teaches us about fitting in, i think for one, it's difficult. However, I think it also shows a little bit that we'll never fit in if we don't try. Like certainly the mixer was awkward, but imagine if nobody had gone to it. Nothing is ever gained by not trying. Also, I think this comic also kind of teaches a bit of self fulfilling prophecies. In that if you think too much that you won't fit in, then you probably won't fit in because the confidence just isn't there. Anyway, what I'm most looking forward to the comic I think is just learning a bit more about the human situation and also just seeing in general more human-alien interactions. I think this is the most interesting part of the comic since there's so much you can do in regards to questioning what is universal and what is just being human, and the writing is pretty all around great with this interesting aspect.

Comic Tea Party

BOOK CLUB END!

Thank you everyone so much for reading and chatting about Park Planet this week! Please also give a special thank you to Sammy Newman for volunteering the comic and creating it! If you liked Park Planet, make sure to continue to support it via some of the links below!

Read and Comment: http://parkpla.net/

Sammy’s Shop: https://www.sammynewman.com/shop

Sammy’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/otterlogic

[moonjima]

Questions cause u are my fav blog about my dog and I love you! 1. Fav Majima's quote 2. Fav part about the hole saga 3. Fav Sunshine's girl 4. Fav Majima's body part 5. Most dramatic/cry time in the saga xooooo

OUGHHGHGHKSKFDFJLD CRIES THAT MAKES ME SO HAPPY THANK U ANON I LOVE U TOO AAAAAAAA Q//////Q

IM SO HAPPY WE CAN ALL STAN MAJIMA TOGETHER SOBS

ALSO GOOD QUESTIONS ooo funnn lets relive some pA I N….

1. Fav Majima’s quote

gOD I WAS DEBATING ON A FAVE FUNNY LINE OR A FAVE MEANINGFUL LINE BC HE HAS SO MANY BOTH KLSJDGH but if im being honest thIS QUOTE is the one i think of on an almost daily basis and it really helps me get thru when i need it!!

MY BESTIE EVEN QUOTES IT @ ME WHEN IM HAVING A HARD DAY AND FEELING INADEQUATE COMPARED TO OTHER ARTISTS HAHA so yeah this is def the fave ;;U;;

2. Fav part about the whole saga

OUGHGH WELL i havent actually seen the whole thing yET SWEATS

ive only seen up to kiwami WE’RE GONNA START KIWAMI 2 SOON THO we just been rlly heckin busy ghgh (( ”we” meaning me and @absolute-mad-dog !! FOLLOW EM IF UR NOT ALREADY!! I LOVE THEM SO MUCH!!! )) but between 0 and kiwami hmmMM gOD THERES SO MUCH,,,GREAT,,,AMAZING ,,,SCENES hhhHHH!!! actually!!! the answer to this is the answer to the cry question sO IMA GET BACK TO IT

 3. Fav Sunshine’s girl

YUKI YUKI YUKI YUUUKKIIIIIII!!!!!! she spicy and i love her and mister majima MAD DOG OF DOJIMA can not handle her bLESS 

4. Fav Majima’s body part

LKJLGOIFUIODHGFHJGL nOSE,,,PROFILE!!!!,,,HIM NOSE ,,,,,,v go o d…best nose in all of yakuza,,,

5. Most dramatic/cry time in the saga 

ITS IMPORTANT FOR U TO KNOW THAT I AM A SUPER EMOTIONAL PERSON AND I CRY A LOT AND AFTER I FINISHED Y0 I CRIED FOR TWO DAYS STRAIGHT ANY TIME I THOUGHT ABOUT MAJIMA and i was telling my mom the story while i was watching aND I TRIED TELLING HER THE ENDING AND I COULDNT STOP CRYING AND SHE WAS LIKE ISNT THIS A GAME??? ARENT GAMES SUPPOSED TO BE FUN?? HAHA

SO TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTION THERE WERE MANY SCENES THAT MADE ME CRY VERY MUCH

BUT THIS MADE ME SOB THE MOST BC I WAS SO PROUD OF HIM

SO HAPPY FOR HIM sO M U CH I CANT STOP CRYING AND SMILING AND MY HEART IS FULL AND IM!!!!!! sO HAPPY!!!!!!!!!! tHE THING I WAS WAITING FO R MOST THE WHOLE GAME MY BOY IS FINALLY FREE!!!! HES FINALLY FREE!!!!!!! 

HE CAN fINALLY MAKE HIS OWN DECISIONS AND THE CHOICE HE MAKES FIRST IS HES GOING TO HAVE F U N AND GOD I LOVE THAT

HE DESERVES IT

GO BE FREE YA MAD DOG

also honorable “I Ugly Cried Really Loud” mentions:

GORO MAJIMA’S HEART TOO BIG FOR HIS GOT DAMN BOOTS 

I LOVE HIM SO MUCH AND HE DESERVES BETTER THAN WHAT HE GETS ALL THE TIME FLKSAJDHG CRIES

[samwinchesterisourhero]

Sam WInchester: The Reluctant Hero

When we wonder in frustration, as to why Sam seems to suffer more than Dean does, instead of being angry at a narative bias, or assuming the show runners hate Sam, take into consideration that Sam and Dean, though equally heroic, are different types of heros  Dean is a willing hero. He has been proud of his job as a hunter since he was young, even if sometimes he was bored with it, or would have liked to persue a career as a machanic. From what we see in flash backs, Dean was boasting “Im a hero!” since high school, where Sam just wanted to be like every other kid.  Sam’s first choice in life is not to be a hero. Not directly anyway. He was studying to become a lawyer.  Azazel said he was becoming a Tax Attorney, but Dean saw him as a Criminal Justice Attorney in What is and What Should Never Be, which I think is more fitting for Sam. The indirect hero that would get justice for the victims. He would make a wonderful psycholigist also. Dean would be a very good cop, or soldier, or first responder.  This is not to say Sam wouldnt run into a burning building to save a family, he most certainly would, but his interests seem to lie mostly in long term after care. So for Sam to be in the front line with Dean, is something he does because its the right thing, not because it’s his chosen life path (early life anyway. he has stated in his later life that he did chose this life for himself) and this makes him a reluctant hero. The problem with that though, is that in literature, the reluctant hero always suffers the most. 

Its no argument that Dean suffers too. Both brothers have broken my heart on many occasions, but Sam’s suffering over any event, stretches far past the season he suffers it in. This is so we, the viewers, have an idea as to how much of a hardship Sam is willing to endure to save Dean and to save the world.  Sam and Dean both willingly went to Hell, but their experiences were greatly different, and unfolded on the show wildly unbalanced. Dean sold his soul for Sam, so Sam would live. He didnt want to go to Hell, but he did it willingly. in Dream a Little Dream, Dean said to his dream self, that he didnt deserve to go to Hell, and even though he made the choice on his own, I think we all feel like it’s a horrible punishment for a guy who just wanted his little brother to live. I know I hoped they could find a way to get him out of the deal, but unfortunately, he didnt. He stayed in Hell for 4 months, or 40 hell years. He was tortured by Alistair for 30 years until he became a torturer himself. Cas raised him out of Hell, completely whole, even old scars were gone, but we didnt know for a while that the memories were haunting him. How did we find out? Because he told Sam. He tearfully confessed to Sam on more than one occasion, what happened, what he did, what it felt like at the time and how it was hurting him then. What came of it is that he got to confront his torturer, and even though he couldnt kill him himelf, Sam killed him for him. Dean got justice.  Sam on the other hand, also willingly went to Hell to save the world, but he felt like he was mainly at fault for breaking the world in the first place, when it was expressed that it wasn’t only him, and he was completely unknowingly breaking it when he did. He obviously didnt want to go to Hell, but he felt it was the right thing to do. What he got for that though, was his soul in Hell, canonically, for 1.5 years, 180 Hell years. He was torured by Lucifer himself in the most brutal ways imaginable. Cas raised his body, soon after he went to the pit, but we arent given an exact amount of time, whether it be an hour or so, or a few weeks, we just know he was physically out for the majority of the year, but I can’t imagine 10 minutes in the cage with Lucifer is a picnic. However, he came back incomplete, without his soul, which endured unimaginable torture. If that’s not enough, while soulless, Sam did things he wasn’t proud of when he got his soul back, and suffered with this, Once he got his memories of Hell back, a whole new level of suffering began.  How was this handled? To our knowledge, he never told anyone the details of his Hell tour. All we know about it, was shown in flash backs and hallucinations, that ended up driving Sam insane. Sam was “fixed” by Cas, by simply shifting the pain to himself, not by Sam talking about it, or confronting his torturer, or anyone killing Lucifer.  Sam didnt get justice in any sense, and he still carries all of this with him. He has even had to work along side Lucifer to try to stop Amara. No one even brought this up, even though Sam had very recently been back to the cage and had to face Lucifer and the trauma all over again.  Season 13 and still Sam hasn’t been given justice or seen closure when Dean’s was answered in only a few episodes. How can we not see the imballance? Well, when we look at it as Sam is the long suffering Reluctant Hero, suck as it may, it makes more sense. It plays into the narrative that the pain piles on Sam, and Sam stuffs it down. We ourselves may forget this happens, if the show itself didn’t bring it up.  The case of Tracy Bell for example. A girl that pops up out of nowhere in 9x2 for no reason than to remind Sam that he let Lucifer out and people got killed. I know a bunch of you blame the writers of the episode for that, as though they hate Sam or Jared, but that was part of the Gardreel story. Something that the producers must have told the writers they wanted. “Bring something painful up from Sam’s past, so that when he feels good at the end of the episode, we can be reminded that theres an Angel healing him from the inside” is probably close to what was said in the meeting. We the viewers need to be reminded that Sam never lets things go, at the same time as he never really speaks of them either.  It took 13 seasons, but Dean confirms for us in 13x4 that Sam doesnt admit things or it makes them real, and then he has to deal with it. Sam even confirms it himself in 12X3 when he says he knows Mom is burying herself in hunting instead of dealing, through years of personal experience. Now that we understand this is part of Sam’s character, we can better understand why we dont get to see his emotional POV very often, and his traumas rarely get worked out.  The differences between Sam being the reluctant hero, and Dean being the willing hero, manifest in many ways.  Dean gets very antsy if its been a few days that they havent had a hunt to go on. Sam however, is content to stay home researching. Their short time of trying to live a domestic life with their girlfriends shows reluctant vs willing also. While Sam was with Amelia, he had nothing to do with hunting except reading the news paper and believing other hunters were taking care of things. He refused to tell Amelia about that part of his life. Dean didnt hunt, but he kept it at arms reach. He kept devils traps in the door ways, a rosary in water under the bed and a gun nearby, and he let Lisa know all about that part of his life, and even tried to live it and maintain a life with her.  Dean is the kind of guy who will show you every scar and tell you the details of how he got it, while Sam will hide his scars. Dean suffers when innocent life is lost, but he holds on to the fact that he’s saved more people than he’s hurt and it can help him make it day to day. Sam feels like he failed if he didnt save someone. This is precicely why Sam suffers the burdens of his wrongs for years,  and Dean doesnt. Dean did a lot of crap while he had the MoC but he hasnt had to visibly suffer from it after the fact. Sam however, is reminded of his poor choices for seasons after the fact. Now since its not a matter of Sam goes to jail for things and Dean doesn’t, we only need to realize its part of maintaining a character trait for us, so we dont forget that Sam never forgives himself and suffers for years over what he considers failures.  Now, this willingness vs reluctance shows in their relationship also. Im not going to try to prove one loves the other more, because I am convinced that Dean is #1 in Sam’s world and Sam is #1 in Dean’s world and they love each other as much as any two people can love each other (to steal from the mouth of JP) they both take care of each other, and neither had to be told to do so. Even when Sam was too little to actually take care of Dean, he still did the best he could by wanting to be with him, and giving him gifts. Dean didnt have to learn 100 ways to make mac and cheese, he did it because he wanted to make Sam happy. That being said, lets move on… Sam’s reluctance in their relationship, isnt that he loves Dean less, or doesn’t want to protect him, but his biggest fear is letting Dean down. He can save Dean’s life a million times but considers himself a failure if he let Dean down. Dean’s biggest fear however is Sam dying. He can let Sam down, he can piss him off, but if Sam isnt alive and well, Dean considers himself a failure. When Sam assumed Dean was dead in S8 and didnt look for him, he was going on a promise that he wouldnt look for him. Since we didnt get enough insight to Sam’s state of mind at the time, Im going to assume that Sam was crushed that Dean was dead, but for himself, it was more important, that he didnt let him down by breaking that promise. He saw how angry Dean was when Dean thought he made a deal that raised him from Hell, so he “knew” Dean would be disappointed if Sam looked for him now. Dean however, needs Sam to be alive, so he will risk Sam being disappointed and possibly hating him, as long as he’s alive.  So now in S11 its brought up again, that Sam didnt look for Dean in Purgatory, and Sam hadnt forgiven himself for it, its not the writers hating Sam/Jared, its showing us that Sam still hasnt gotten over letting Dean down. He’s a long suffering character, and doesnt see that he was justified in his actions, but instead blames himself for inaction. This fits right into Sam not finding a Win in a case where he couldnt save everyone. He knows he helps more people than he hurts, but the fact that he hurts people at all outweighs the good in his eyes.  There will be a time Im sure, and hopefully soon, given the events of the last 2 seasons, that Sam may collapse under all this weight. Maybe he will have some time to voice how badly things hurt him. But if he doesnt. try not to write it off as no one caring about his character, but understand his character feels like a burden if he unloads to people, even, and especially to Dean, who Im sure he believes has enough burden on his shoulders, without Sam sharing his. So try to be patient my friends. This would come out differently if it was a written story. The writer would be able to show us inside Sam’s head easier than they can this way. The only way into Sam’s head is through someone vocalizing it. If Sam does, then we dont see him burying things, if someone else does, it sometimes looks like hes being picked on for no reason…. but there is a good reason. It’s to keep his character consistant as the longsuffering reluctant hero. By @missjackil

[azarathedragon]

Mild spoilers. Nothing is really stated, but its enough to clue in to stuff that happens in the main story.

Nothing has emotionally destroyed me more this year then Red Dead Redemption 2. And for me, thats saying something, because i uh....dont usually cry during a video game. I cant actually bring to mind another game that had me that upset over a character. Books, yea. Tv shows, yea. But a video game. Make me sad, sure, but actually cry, nope.

And i loved the game to bits, enough so that it actually got my ass in gear to play and attempt to finish the first game. My only gripe would have been some of the choices made with horses.

First being that the best horses are locked behind the epilogue, where theres maybe a dozen hours worth of content. Maybe more if you didnt do some stuff as Arthur. It doesnt make sense that the character you spend the most time with, only has access to lower tier horses, barring the black arabian and gold turk (which i find ugly as shit by the why. Sadie's turk was a far prettier color.)

The unique horses like the black shire or Buell. If you sell either, or it gets killed, they are gone for good. There is no getting that specific coat color back. And that is dumb as shit my friends. As a side note, we shoulda been able to get Buell earlier on. You basically get that stubborn bastard when theres only a few hours of gameplay left (story wise anyway. If you spend fifteen hours just dicking around, all the more power to ya. Lord knows i did because the game ending was spoiled for me within the first week of its release. Thanks youtube. Thanks.)

Second. All horses should have been able to be found wild or stable bought. Just decrease spawn chance for the real nice ones like the Arabians and Turks. Horse herds were depressing to look at after a while, when you realize the three fastest wild breeds only have two wild coat colors. Nokota, Thoroughbred, snd the Anerican Standards. Two colors. And you find herds with 4 to 6 of one of the afformentioned breeds in it. Two colors. Its just...sad to look at. And its not like Rockstar was short on coat colors snd patterns. Also. Fuck them for patching the St. Denis spawn glitch. I found an alternative as john and got that pretty rose grey arabian. For free. And i think i found an alternative as arthur. But my lips are sealed, because frankly, its bullshit i cant steal a real nice horse. Were outlaws, lemme steal the nice horses you bastards.

Coats and their patterns. The only ALL black horse is a American Standardbred. They are an average horse. Ok speed, and ok health and stamina. And i will say it again. Rockstar was not short on coat colors and patterns. There are so many colors for the Kentucky Saddlers, Tennessee Walkers, and Morgans. So fuckin many. A lot of these could have been copied or split into other breeds. Or pull the Nintendo BotW method where there is a dozen base colors, that then have additional patterns thrown over top. Because i really want an all black horse that has good stats. (And unless im crazy, im pretty sure the initial launch of the game there were no all black horses? The standardbred used to have like...a snip on its face. Mandela effect probably. There are a handful of black horses they all start to blur together after a while)

The horse types like War and Work should have meant more than more health over stamina or vice versa. War horses shouldnt balk at gunfire, its what it was bred and raised for. Work horses shouldnt have felt the stamina drain from carrying pelts, it was born and raised to do intensive work. Wild horses should have handled threatening wildlife (snakes, cougars, bears, alligators) better than stable horses. Stable horses spook easier at said creatures, but handle towns and nearby trains better. Yes, you read that right, trains. Horses dont like loud things, and trains to them, are downright terrifying. It takes years of consistent exposure for a horse to calm down around such things. (My family had horses, and we lived near John Trovolta. The dude has a private jet. Taking off in practically our back yard. The horses freaked about it at first, but after a while began to realize the giant screaming metal demon bird isn't here to harm them. They still dont like it, but they dont freak out as easily to it either.)

Im still not sure as to what Handling meant. Does it turn faster? Different animations? Game devs love putting shit in, and then not tell us what it means. Like that "wild horses will keep some wild tendencies." That means nothing to me. Absolutely nothing. Tendencies could be anything, literally anything. Maybe this horse really, really likes chewing on its butt. Maybe it has a biting problem. The word means nothing if we arent given context on what it means.

Volume slider for the horses please. My god. Both of my parents are hard of hearing, and while my dad has no interest in the game other than "oh what gun is that? A wincester?". My mom did on the other hand. So she turns the volume up a little to hear characters better, but then we have to turn it back down, because the horses are overly loud at times. (And yes captions are on, but we still like hearing the voice behind those words. Pretty sure the tv speakers are going anyway, but there are other audio issues with the game at times that are unrelated to a shit tv). Audio option are important. And we are stuck with only three sliders. Master, score, and dialogue. You dont want to listen to a horse grunting, overpowering whatver it was that character said? Too bad. You dont get to decide that. Really hope the pc release adds a few more sliders to make it bearable.

[baconpal]

Whats your opinion on the Monogatri series?

fuck man, i was gonna draw tonight, you cant just give me an ask that i could write for hours about

idk how long thisll get but just in case, usual read more time but tl;dr very very good series, absolutely recommend to any seasoned weebs out there

I fucking love the monogatari series for so many reasons. i’ll just shit out bullet points of cool shit

1. gigantic but segmented: it’s one of the longest animes i’ve watched, but if someone wanted to just watch some i’d just tellem “hey just watch bakemono and stop there for now” and they’d still watch some great content and be mostly satisfied as everything wraps up well and doesn’t have any kinda sequel bait or cliff hanger. You can watch as much as you want when you want, even down to the various arcs, even out of order if need be, so it’s incredibly convenient, which means a lot to me (i say as i marathon HxH and Ippo)

2. Fuck the Order: there’s about 3 main orders that people like to preech, novel order (the order the arcs were released according to the light novels), anime release order, and chronological order since the story isn’t told chronologically in either case, and that can get confusing on top of none of the arcs being numbered outside of bakemono and bakemono 2 (which almost nobody recommends you actually watch consecutively) BUT the part I love is ANY order works and is interesting in its own way, the order that events are presented to you can change the impact of various scenes and events, like the ending to koimono is a lot more terrifying if you have no clue that kaiki is a healthy happy boy a year later, and owari becomes a bit more confounding if you know ougi is also doing fine (even if a bit boyish), and when you watch kizumono can drastically change how you feel about araragi and shinobu’s relationship, like when they were super duper tense in nise i always felt kinda whatever, but now that i’ve seen kizu its kinda like “fuck man how arent either of you dead already”

Basically its cool as shit since everything is written without regard for order

3.Character Development (and lack there of): All the characters in the series develop pretty well, and sometimes experience multiple large character shifts that improve them from the absolute pieces of garbage they are in bake (lookin at you Hanekawa, though you were pretty alright in kizu) Senjougahara is also worth note as she’s the primary girl and is thus around a lot despite having very few arcs centered on herself

but one of the most powerful parts of all the characters is they all also never change their true worst traits, and those who don’t really are my favorite characters, and those would be Senjougahara, Hachikuji, and the main man himself, Araragi. Senjou never really is able to drop the autistic girl sitting on the fourth wall deep down within her, Hachikuji continues to constantly fill roles and play parts that don’t belong to her, up through the very end of the series where she becomes a fucking GOD for NO good reason but FUCK it i love you hachikuji, and lastly Araragi, one of the best protaganists ever, who matures quite a lot over the course of his life and all, but from the begining of kizu to the end of owari, he is just completely incapable of letting someone pathetic go without help, even if it means completely sacrificing himself and I love my stupid boy so much

4. Who’s the protag anyway?: So araragi is the protag, duh, but not all the time, and the differences in how the show works when it changes is always very interesting, as it reveals a lot about both araragi and the characters who take his role; namely, Hanekawa, Nadeko, and my fucking BOY Kaiki. Hanekawa interacts with the story much closer to a novel (to the point of analyzing chapters and such), Nadeko sees everyone around her as bubbly colorful nobodies, and Kaiki sees everyone as normal fucking people which is only strange and jarring because when Araragi is the protagonist, anyone who is unimportant to him literally does not exist or physically manifest on screen. Some would call it a lazy choice, and maybe it is, this is shaft, it wasnt the first time they did it and it wasn’t the last either (side note; i like mekakucity actors fight me pussy) but even moments full of “background characters” like Araragis freshmen highschool dilemma, everyone in class other than the 2 cute girls he knows are just depicted as names and random photographic images of shit and its very telling of his character despite never being directly said in the novels or script.

5. FUck man this shit looks good: Art is important shit dude, and monogatari consistently looks good, even if the backgrounds can be incredibly simple at times, they are STYLISH and effective and thats all they need to be, and despite being a show mainly about people talking, the characters will move and be in as many weird cool perspective shots as they need to in order to fill out a scene. Whenever the show ISNT just people talkin, the animation does not slack off. The few fights of the main series are absolutely to my taste, I love Araragi V rainy devil, and thats pretty much the only straight up fight in the show, but the Kizu movies are 3 hours of pure kino holy shit, even araragi buying some porn to beat he meat is animated excessively well and with cartoon abandon. 

I know that stylish substance is still just a shaft thing, but it’s always on point in monogatari, also NO CG CHARACTERS outside of a few random shots in Kizu, which is a definitely worth pointing out considering mekakucity’s original television run exists.

6. FUck man this shit sounds good: The voice acting is impeccable, I love everyones voice so much, but the music is also of very high quality, and guess what it does that thing that i always fucking mention cus it’s awesome and should be used whenever possible anywhere: Motifing. Every character has a theme in some way due to every major character having atleast 1 opening centered on them (there’s an OP for every fucking arc and its insane they’re all fully animated too its bonkers) and theres usually a couple remixes of each persons theme used at some point, especially as like, bittersweet slow classical songs at the climax of an arc being a remix of the OP for that arc. 

Kizu is also noteworthy for motifing the EDs into the other songs, remaking songs from the anime for specific classic interactions (looking at you, sharp and friend or foe) as well as just being super interesting in its use of vocal accompaniment, like the shoowap-doowap kind of stuff they throw in is very fun.

 7.FUck man this shit IS good: I said early that the show is mostly just people talking, but fuck man i love listening to these people talk to each other. Everything they talk about is super entertaining and full of multiple meanings and just so much to take in that any amount of rewatching will always have me finding more to love, but since its a weeb show with references and puns and stuff, I would recommend making sure you’re atleast a decently powerful weeb who can at least UNDERSTAND some Japanese and knows a bit about anime before getting into it, also make sure you can read decently fast. It’s not Tatami Galaxy levels but stuff can move quick. (bit far into a post like this to make a recommendation but hey)

oh no i wrote for an hour about this shit bless the poor souls of any mobile users who still follow me

[missjackil]

Sam Winchester: The Reluctant Hero

When we wonder in frustration, as to why Sam seems to suffer more than Dean does, instead of being angry at a narative bias, or assuming the show runners hate Sam, take into consideration that Sam and Dean, though equally heroic, are different types of heros  Dean is a willing hero. He has been proud of his job as a hunter since he was young, even if sometimes he was bored with it, or would have liked to persue a career as a machanic. From what we see in flash backs, Dean was boasting “Im a hero!” since high school, where Sam just wanted to be like every other kid.  Sam’s first choice in life is not to be a hero. Not directly anyway. He was studying to become a lawyer.  Azazel said he was becoming a Tax Attorney, but Dean saw him as a Criminal Justice Attorney in What is and What Should Never Be, which I think is more fitting for Sam. The indirect hero that would get justice for the victims. He would make a wonderful psycholigist also. Dean would be a very good cop, or soldier, or first responder.  This is not to say Sam wouldnt run into a burning building to save a family, he most certainly would, but his interests seem to lie mostly in long term after care. So for Sam to be in the front line with Dean, is something he does because its the right thing, not because it’s his chosen life path (early life anyway. he has stated in his later life that he did chose this life for himself) and this makes him a reluctant hero. The problem with that though, is that in literature, the reluctant hero always suffers the most. 

Its no argument that Dean suffers too. Both brothers have broken my heart on many occasions, but Sam’s suffering over any event, stretches far past the season he suffers it in. This is so we, the viewers, have an idea as to how much of a hardship Sam is willing to endure to save Dean and to save the world.  Sam and Dean both willingly went to Hell, but their experiences were greatly different, and unfolded on the show wildly unbalanced. Dean sold his soul for Sam, so Sam would live. He didnt want to go to Hell, but he did it willingly. in Dream a Little Dream, Dean said to his dream self, that he didnt deserve to go to Hell, and even though he made the choice on his own, I think we all feel like it’s a horrible punishment for a guy who just wanted his little brother to live. I know I hoped they could find a way to get him out of the deal, but unfortunately, he didnt. He stayed in Hell for 4 months, or 40 hell years. He was tortured by Alistair for 30 years until he became a torturer himself. Cas raised him out of Hell, completely whole, even old scars were gone, but we didnt know for a while that the memories were haunting him. How did we find out? Because he told Sam. He tearfully confessed to Sam on more than one occasion, what happened, what he did, what it felt like at the time and how it was hurting him then. What came of it is that he got to confront his torturer, and even though he couldnt kill him himelf, Sam killed him for him. Dean got justice.  Sam on the other hand, also willingly went to Hell to save the world, but he felt like he was mainly at fault for breaking the world in the first place, when it was expressed that it wasn’t only him, and he was completely unknowingly breaking it when he did. He obviously didnt want to go to Hell, but he felt it was the right thing to do. What he got for that though, was his soul in Hell, canonically, for 1.5 years, 180 Hell years. He was torured by Lucifer himself in the most brutal ways imaginable. Cas raised his body, soon after he went to the pit, but we arent given an exact amount of time, whether it be an hour or so, or a few weeks, we just know he was physically out for the majority of the year, but I can’t imagine 10 minutes in the cage with Lucifer is a picnic. However, he came back incomplete, without his soul, which endured unimaginable torture. If that’s not enough, while soulless, Sam did things he wasn’t proud of when he got his soul back, and suffered with this, Once he got his memories of Hell back, a whole new level of suffering began.  How was this handled? To our knowledge, he never told anyone the details of his Hell tour. All we know about it, was shown in flash backs and hallucinations, that ended up driving Sam insane. Sam was “fixed” by Cas, by simply shifting the pain to himself, not by Sam talking about it, or confronting his torturer, or anyone killing Lucifer.  Sam didnt get justice in any sense, and he still carries all of this with him. He has even had to work along side Lucifer to try to stop Amara. No one even brought this up, even though Sam had very recently been back to the cage and had to face Lucifer and the trauma all over again.  Season 13 and still Sam hasn’t been given justice or seen closure when Dean’s was answered in only a few episodes. How can we not see the imballance? Well, when we look at it as Sam is the long suffering Reluctant Hero, suck as it may, it makes more sense. It plays into the narrative that the pain piles on Sam, and Sam stuffs it down. We ourselves may forget this happens, if the show itself didn’t bring it up.  The case of Tracy Bell for example. A girl that pops up out of nowhere in 9x2 for no reason than to remind Sam that he let Lucifer out and people got killed. I know a bunch of you blame the writers of the episode for that, as though they hate Sam or Jared, but that was part of the Gardreel story. Something that the producers must have told the writers they wanted. “Bring something painful up from Sam’s past, so that when he feels good at the end of the episode, we can be reminded that theres an Angel healing him from the inside” is probably close to what was said in the meeting. We the viewers need to be reminded that Sam never lets things go, at the same time as he never really speaks of them either.  It took 13 seasons, but Dean confirms for us in 13x4 that Sam doesnt admit things or it makes them real, and then he has to deal with it. Sam even confirms it himself in 12X3 when he says he knows Mom is burying herself in hunting instead of dealing, through years of personal experience. Now that we understand this is part of Sam’s character, we can better understand why we dont get to see his emotional POV very often, and his traumas rarely get worked out.  The differences between Sam being the reluctant hero, and Dean being the willing hero, manifest in many ways.  Dean gets very antsy if its been a few days that they havent had a hunt to go on. Sam however, is content to stay home researching. Their short time of trying to live a domestic life with their girlfriends shows reluctant vs willing also. While Sam was with Amelia, he had nothing to do with hunting except reading the news paper and believing other hunters were taking care of things. He refused to tell Amelia about that part of his life. Dean didnt hunt, but he kept it at arms reach. He kept devils traps in the door ways, a rosary in water under the bed and a gun nearby, and he let Lisa know all about that part of his life, and even tried to live it and maintain a life with her.  Dean is the kind of guy who will show you every scar and tell you the details of how he got it, while Sam will hide his scars. Dean suffers when innocent life is lost, but he holds on to the fact that he’s saved more people than he’s hurt and it can help him make it day to day. Sam feels like he failed if he didnt save someone. This is precicely why Sam suffers the burdens of his wrongs for years,  and Dean doesnt. Dean did a lot of crap while he had the MoC but he hasnt had to visibly suffer from it after the fact. Sam however, is reminded of his poor choices for seasons after the fact. Now since its not a matter of Sam goes to jail for things and Dean doesn’t, we only need to realize its part of maintaining a character trait for us, so we dont forget that Sam never forgives himself and suffers for years over what he considers failures.  Now, this willingness vs reluctance shows in their relationship also. Im not going to try to prove one loves the other more, because I am convinced that Dean is #1 in Sam’s world and Sam is #1 in Dean’s world and they love each other as much as any two people can love each other (to steal from the mouth of JP) they both take care of each other, and neither had to be told to do so. Even when Sam was too little to actually take care of Dean, he still did the best he could by wanting to be with him, and giving him gifts. Dean didnt have to learn 100 ways to make mac and cheese, he did it because he wanted to make Sam happy. That being said, lets move on... Sam’s reluctance in their relationship, isnt that he loves Dean less, or doesn’t want to protect him, but his biggest fear is letting Dean down. He can save Dean’s life a million times but considers himself a failure if he let Dean down. Dean’s biggest fear however is Sam dying. He can let Sam down, he can piss him off, but if Sam isnt alive and well, Dean considers himself a failure. When Sam assumed Dean was dead in S8 and didnt look for him, he was going on a promise that he wouldnt look for him. Since we didnt get enough insight to Sam’s state of mind at the time, Im going to assume that Sam was crushed that Dean was dead, but for himself, it was more important, that he didnt let him down by breaking that promise. He saw how angry Dean was when Dean thought he made a deal that raised him from Hell, so he “knew” Dean would be disappointed if Sam looked for him now. Dean however, needs Sam to be alive, so he will risk Sam being disappointed and possibly hating him, as long as he’s alive.  So now in S11 its brought up again, that Sam didnt look for Dean in Purgatory, and Sam hadnt forgiven himself for it, its not the writers hating Sam/Jared, its showing us that Sam still hasnt gotten over letting Dean down. He’s a long suffering character, and doesnt see that he was justified in his actions, but instead blames himself for inaction. This fits right into Sam not finding a Win in a case where he couldnt save everyone. He knows he helps more people than he hurts, but the fact that he hurts people at all outweighs the good in his eyes.  There will be a time Im sure, and hopefully soon, given the events of the last 2 seasons, that Sam may collapse under all this weight. Maybe he will have some time to voice how badly things hurt him. But if he doesnt. try not to write it off as no one caring about his character, but understand his character feels like a burden if he unloads to people, even, and especially to Dean, who Im sure he believes has enough burden on his shoulders, without Sam sharing his. So try to be patient my friends. This would come out differently if it was a written story. The writer would be able to show us inside Sam’s head easier than they can this way. The only way into Sam’s head is through someone vocalizing it. If Sam does, then we dont see him burying things, if someone else does, it sometimes looks like hes being picked on for no reason.... but there is a good reason. It’s to keep his character consistant as the longsuffering reluctant hero.

[iwillretitlethisatalaterdate]

feb 20

It’s funny how I was saying to Dyllan and this blog just the other day how I had been feeling faint at work on my four hour shifts, and how I was dreading my full day shift today, since I was there for an hour and fainted. I was reading some numbers to my boss and I remember suddenly feeling funny like I should sit down but before I could move I must have had some sort of episode, and the next thing I remember was hearing her say what’s wrong, are you okay?? And I was being held up by her and answering no. She laid me on the ground with some pillows (perfect workplace) and I came to and was kind of thinking like what the hell just happened???? And she was like “that was not okay you aren’t okay I will call an ambulance” to which I replied helllll nawwww (not verbatim) and she realised I was responsive. She sat me in a chair and kind of demonstrated to me what had happened, my leg started collapsing and I fell forward onto the counter and (again, great workplace) into a basket of tea towels, and she said my head was kind of lifting back up but falling again so she grabbed me. The whole incident only lasted ten seconds if that but it was enough to scare her and make her suggest things like stroke and epileptic fit which kind of scared me. Anyhow fortunately she was kind enough to let me go, closed the shop and called matt for me and demanded he take me to emergency. I really was grateful to be in her presence over anyone else’s as much as I enjoy working with most of the others. Mums are generally quite reliable in such situations. Anyhow Matt came and off we went to emergency and he truly melted my heart all day (and indeed we were there all day [from pre 11 to post 4]). Of course we presumed it’d be something to do with the baby but my boss’ mention of strokes and fits had me wondering. We finally saw a nurse and another nurse then a doctor and the doctor twice more and in between the short visits were long periods of waiting and laughing and spending quality time together and I honestly had such a nice day with Matt albeit not the most fantastic of venues or situations. The greatest part was when I was taken to have an ULTRASOUND meaning I got to SEE MY LITTLE BABY and I can’t lie that moment really changed everything. I’ve decided by now that it’s what I want and as I’ve mentiond we’ve had some in depth conversations that have led me to this point although I must admit from the first positive test I think I was subconsciously set on my decision to be a mum. But seeing it wriggle around and really be in the shape of a tiny little person (it’s seriously like the size of a pecan - it’s a wonder how amazing those ultrasound machine thingys truly are) just honestly overwhelmed me and I couldn’t stop smiling and being overwhelmed by the fact that my baby is INSIDE ME (wtf that is honestly so bizarre). Looonnng (literally hours) story short I left the hospital being told to drink more water basically, and probably to eat little more frequently. Nothing I couldn’t have assumed for a full day at the hospital, and I was kind of expecting like “your xy and or z levels are low so you need to do 12 or 3” but no. And I clarified several times that their conclusion was to hydrate. They also suggested if it happens again that I should go. Back. And. See. Them. Wow. This kind of just reenforces my belief that the whole medical profession is yet another government based money making scheme which is sometimes helpful but mostly financially beneficial for financially well off people. Both our mums also mentioned pregnancy when we were conversing with them about the situation. I don’t know if I’ll ever “publish” this blog but if I do and if they read this I hope this can help them, and anyone else, understand. I really didn’t want our announcement to anyone to be off the back of a medical emergency. I didn’t want it to HAVE to have been told BECAUSE I went to the hospital, as opposed to BECAUSE we were ready to tell them in whatever way we eventually choose to. I’m already nervous and scared as hell as I know they both “disapprove” to varying degrees which I understand, but am also somewhat saddened by, particularly as time goes on and we get more excited about it. At the end of the day, we discussed the pros and cons of keeping and.. not keeping the baby, and together decided that we choose the next step in our lives. And I hate that I even have to justify that, and I kind of don’t even want to at all. But all my life I’ve felt like I have to explain myself to others to try minimise disappointment. Not that anyone’s ever treated me with that “respect”; I’ve no idea where I’ve learnt such a self depreciating habit. My life is my choice and although I’ve not necessarily made all the right ones, they’re mine. And this is ours. I’ve never been with someone the way I am with Matt and I don’t need to divulge our relationship and deepest feelings to anybody and I refuse to. People see the fights we have but they don’t see the love we share because we are private people in that sense and it’s for us. And as much as I HATE having to say this, believe me, it’s there. And it means a lot to me that it’s mostly kept between us and that we know how we feel and what we want and how secure we are. And maybe someday one or two kids in or MAYBE even before that, something will happen that results in the feelings fading or being destroyed or whatever it may be but it won’t change how I’ve felt and what this relationship has shown me, or that I want to be a mum and have the capacity to do it on my own or shared. That was a bit of a tangent, but what I WAS trying to get at is that maybe when people find out about the baby they will think we lied about what happened today, but that’s not the case. Nor did we want to exclude or upset anybody. Until I saw the heartbeat today (which was unfuckingreal) I was honestly convinced it didn’t have one and it didnt survive and it wasn’t our time. This is also a bad habit of mine - I convince myself of the worst so as to never be disappointed or heartbroken. So i have been adamant in keeping it from anyone until we get a scan pic and confirmation of its health and reach the “safeish” point of at least 12 weeks, and Matt’s respectful of my decision. This post kind of feels long winded and indirect and mostly pointless but a lot has gone through my mind today, I was nervous for my own health and for my baby, I didn’t want to have to tell my boss or family what I wasn’t ready to, and I was kind of disappointed in the result although happy I seem to be healthy (just starved and dehydrated woops). My heart just feels really full and a little nervous but I love my sweet and caring boyfie and the little big headed baby that is actually living in my uterus (I know there’s billions of humans in existence due to this very phenomenon but it’s still tripping me out). I best go now bye 👋🏼

[vidoxi]

just finished mystic messenger and i just wanna write down my thoughts. major spoiler warning + i-might-talk-shit-about-your-fav warning. if you want to discuss with me any of the points i bring up here, go for it.

Jaehee “No Homo” Kang

so when i first heard that her route was just a friendship route i was hella disappointed and thought that sounded like a total bullshit cop out, but after playing it i feel a little differently. i think it makes sense for jaehee’s character and narrative that she would value a friend over a relationship at that point in her life, but also its pretty clearly said that she does have romantic feelings for you but she needs time to process them, which is especially understandable since you can infer that before she met you she thought she was straight and also she’s catholic. her after ending was the perfect time for her to confess or for there to be the implication that you two are in a relationship, but instead it’s the only after ending where we DONT get to see interaction between you and your partner, which is a bullshit cop out. i do like that in the christmas DLC things got a little more romantic but i’m still wanting more. jaehee and the fans deserve what the male characters get, a CG of a kiss on the lips and a confession of romantic love. i hope that if more DLC gets released, cheritz will push the envelope a little a lot more. but i have heard that korea is still really conservative and for all i know making it more explicit could be illegal so i might be being unnecessarily harsh there lol;;

about her actual route though... it was good. nothing really exciting happened. it was definitely the chillest route i thought, but it was really sweet and she’s absolutely adorable and it warmed me to her a lot. her bad ending 1 (the one where you end up with zen) is so depressing, fucking hell. it feels like you betray her. it’s so ugly. ;_; i never want to do that ending and i’m glad there isnt a unique CG to tempt me into it either. her bad ending 2 (where you push her to work so hard that she ends up in the hospital) is pretty terrible too. after ending was hella cute though, i love the thought of mc and jaehee having their little coffee shop together and jaehee getting to actually work on something she’s interested in and being with her “best friend” all the time. oh and yoosung becoming jumin’s new assistant was interesting and i need me some fics, u feel?

something i also feel a little robbed about is that jaehee never blew up at jumin. she drags yoosung like theres no tomorrow and you just know she could say some venomous shit about jumin so i was hoping there’d be a big confrontation between them where she gets a dramatic The Reason You Suck-type speech but there wasnt really a moment like that.

however, seeing jumin all bitter about it at the end was a little gratifying (sorry jumin)

i love their emojis and you cant stop me from using them

also on this route where 707 has yoosung hunting for the LOLOL expansion pack (how is this boy so naive? im worried) and he finds a buried picture of rika’s dog sally instead, i at first thought that he had dug up sally’s corpse and i was like “wtf the fuck seven”

also wtf @ v saying he has terminal cancer. this is presumably a lie, right? before reading the secret endings i thought he was going to commit suicide but now im thinking that (seriously if you havent played the whole game you need to stop reading this rn) maybe he knew that rika was going to dispose of him soon and he didnt want jumin to investigate his disappearance? iirc yoosung’s good ending is the only one that he’s present in, so is it meant to be assumed that he’s killed off camera in every route possibly?

everyone else under the cut

Zen

the worst tbh. i dont like saying it but there it is. possibly this depends on who you are as a person but to me it didnt really feel like MC and zen had much chemistry except during that scene where youre on his roof together. most of your interactions are just you praising him and fellating his already huge ego. and jaehee was exceptionally annoying with all her “muh zens reputation” shit and feeling like i was taking zen from her was really awkward and unpleasant because it does seem like she has repressed feelings for him. fuck and the whole story with echo girl was super predictable and generic and feels like something i’ve seen 100 times before and probably have. my overall feeling about this route can be summed up by this emoji.

i feel like it could have been improved by either removing the echo girl stuff or at least putting an interesting spin on it. i think they should have made zens’ childhood abuse and family problems and maybe his past as a gang member as well an actual conflict instead of it just being a thing of happenstance. it’s an interesting backstory that as far as i can recall didnt end up having an impact on the current day situation. it would have been interesting if he had some sort of emotional issue you had to help him through like jumin, like secret crippling insecurities due to his family telling him for years that he’s ugly and inadequate, and thats why he tries so hard to be perfect so that people will give him the love his parents didnt. also his elementary school teacher was implied to be a pedophile(??? i dont remember what was actually said in the conversation i just remember the pedo-vibes) so they could have made him a CSA survivor but maybe thats too dark even for mysme lol.

also his bad ending 1 confuses me. the first time i saw it it felt really rapey but rewatching it now, MC does seem to consent but its after being cold and refuting his advances so it seems really weird. MC seemed genuinely disinterested, but i guess she was just playing games, testing him to see what he’d do? since theyre in a relationship a year later. and his bad ending 3 (the one where youre both kidnapped by saeran) is pretty bizarre lol.

so yeah this is the weakest route imo. maybe its different for people who are zen fangirls but i personally felt like i was being super fake the whole route, which was especially jarring coming off of yoosung’s route where the dialogue choices felt very organic to me. also his responses to mean things arent even interesting lol so thats frustrating too. and this route felt weirdly short. all the others felt like 11 days but this one felt more like 5? and when i missed chats on this route i just let it go most of the time instead of spending hourglasses. i wasnt feeling it, mr krabs. by far the best part of his route for me was the relationship development between zen and jumin.

now that ive spent 4 paragraphs just complaining you probably think that i dont like zen but actually i think he’s is a fantastic supporting character and i do like him a lot. that picture of him sneezing was my phone wallpaper for quite a while lol.

Jumin

me at the beginning: i fucking hate jumin han. fuck him. fuck his cat. i hate this type of asshole love interest.

me after zens route: i guess he has some hidden depths... i’m curious...

me after jumins route: *loves jumin han so much i cant breathe*

this guy... this cat man...... where to start? i’ve had a while to think about this route and i’m still not totally sure how i feel. “i feel complicated” is a term i’m going to start using because its just too handy for situations like this.

i guess i dont like that to get the good end you had to be passive and compliant and act like you were walking on eggshells. your relationship with him is undeniably a little scary and abusive. i think jumin needs more in his life than just you. but mysme is an otome game so of course youre the one that “fixes” him but thinking about it more realistically its worrying and jumin should be in therapy cuz the dude undeniably has some issues.

winning his heart by being understanding and with gradual, slow-growing trust was pretty touching. something i really appreciate was him opening up and his true self actually being hard to accept sometimes, instead of whats expected which is “oh youre secretly a perfect, beautiful soul”.

i do really wish they would have opened him up further though. there isnt ever a point where he completely loses control of his emotions. not to be gross but i’d do anything to see him crying, honestly.

i hope people are joking when they say that his bad end (you know the one i mean) is a good end. just because its hot doesnt mean that its good lol. its actually really tragic and shows the deterioration of his mental state and how he’s just accepted that he’s a fucked up/defective person.

“I was worried that the loneliness inside me would pile up and explode some day.” FUCK. dont do this to me jumin. ;_; this line is heart breaking.

something thats kind of interesting and worth noting maybe is that even though the other rfa members arent privy to the VNMs and you can give them little indication that he’s acting so worryingly theyre all still alarmed and concerned and thinks that jumin is going to hold you hostage/abuse you, which makes me wonder if youre meant to infer from that that theyve noticed red flags in his personality that he’s potentially kinda crazy.

and man, zen is always complaining about how jumin seems to have no emotions, but jumin finally opens up about his feelings and zen calls you laughing hysterically about how pathetic he is for being emotional. i was kinda hurt on jumin’s behalf during that call lol. he is so supportive to zen on zen’s route. just... shut the fuck up you albino freak. dont make me whip out yoosung’s “hyung, what’s wrong with you?” emoji. i wont hesitate, bitch.

there. you asked for it. feel those judging purple oblongs pierce your soul.

man, just reading the dialogue options that treat him like a psycho make me cringe. usually i’m tempted by mean dialogue options but not this time. i want to protect jumin han. ;_; i want to untangle his threads. i dont want him to feel like a mutant ever again. i want to love and accept him. i am now the president of the jumin han protection squad. jumin han did nothing wrong. shameless jumin apologist. that’s me. no but seriously he did a lot wrong and is pretty morally grey but thats one of the reasons that i love him. if you love jumin for pure reasons (that arent just “daddy~”) then youre automatically my friend and i love and appreciate you.

just to love on him for a minute: he is so damn funny, for real. he’s such a sass master, its great. him being terrible with technology is funny. his social awkwardness is funny. his shitty jokes are funny because theyre not funny. he should be the poster child for gap moe cuz goddamn. he’s such a ham. an absolute goofball dressed as a billionaire CEO, and i dont think he even knows it.

also every time elizabeth meows i fucking lol. its literally just a woman saying “meow”. every time jumin says “elizabeth is just a cat, she’s not human” i’m like “ARE YOU SURE?”

Yoosung

this is the first route i got and i assumed that i had already peaked at the beginning and no one was ever going to top yoosung for me, and that assumption was correct. i love this boy. do you hear me? i love him. “perfect” has seven letters in it. “yoosung” has seven letters in it. coincidence? i dont think so. i have feeeeeeelings over this character. he is so darling. i just adore him. i’ve opened the app many times just to look at his album. his voice is like a choir of angels. i have so many screenshots of conversations with him on my phone. he is so selfless and caring and adorable and kinky and pure and i want him to be real so i can marry him irl.

i’m not even sure how to give a critique on his route because i feel so emotionally close to the situation lol. i was very, very invested. ah. gosh. this boy. his good ending is absolutely beautiful. you know youre playing a weird otome game when the good ending has your boyfriend tortured and disfigured. he really earned his happy ending, not quite as much as seven but its up there.

i really love how for better or worse, this boy is like putty in your hands to be molded and what you say to him effects him so deeply in a way that doesnt quite get as extreme as with the other characters. obviously your words majorly influence the other characters but i feel never to the extent where theyre hanging on to every little thing youre saying like yoosung does. which makes sense because he’s young and impressionable and doesnt know what to do with himself and he says he wants to be controlled lol.

MAN, speaking of that, i love his bad ending 3 so much. it’s so twisted that he’s technically getting what he wants in a lot of ways. he’s a masochist that loves the idea of being kept as a pet and controlled, and he gets all that and more with saeran. that ending is so fucking hot, slkdfljsf. i might write a fic. i have a couple ideas.

oh shit, using that seven gif just reminded me. there’s a chat thats on the first few days of common route that ive always participated in before, but when you dont participate in it and yoosung has time to ramble, it gets really kinky. he says “i wonder what it would feel like to be locked up? just a bit.... curious lolol” which i think is what he says when youre in the chat too BUT THEN HE STARTS GETTING OFF ON THE IDEA OF SEVEN BEING LOCKED UP TOO. “Imagine the super smart Seven all flustered. and not knowing what to do.” AND I’M JUST LIKE BOIIII;;; HOW YOU GONNA JUST TALK ABOUT THAT IN FRONT OF ZEN AND JAEHEE LIKE ITS NOTHING? if he would take the obvious hints that seven hits on him he’d probably be willing to roleplay that scenario. 707 strikes me as a fetish friendly person lolol.

ummm... well, to get back back on track, ahem.... him confusing you with rika was creepy and interesting and they didnt take it far enough. even on the yandere bad ending he’s still fully aware that you arent rika. it seemed like it was building towards him having some kind of psychosis where if you feed into his desire for you to be rika he’ll really think youre rika but that doesnt happen so theres no real pay off, and he doesnt have time to do anything yandere-y to you before the bomb goes off so i found that ending to be pretty disappointing and unsatisfying. it felt like someone waving a delicious cake in front of my face but only giving me a crumb of it in the end, do you know what i mean? aaa. maybe i can find a fic that runs with the ideas set up here. when youre desperate, turn to fanfiction lol.

speaking of disappointments, i’m not over the last line of his good ending being “youre not rika, are you?” like... at this point we’re past this arent we omg stoppp. this line is a blight on my happiness. fuck rika and fuck whoever thought that was a good last line.

i noticed that yoosung is the only rfa member including v and rika that doesnt have childhood trauma. his trauma all happened recently. i think that lends to him being the most fragile and child-like character. the other rfa members are so strong because their pasts molded them that way, but yoosung has no such constitution and rika’s death is undoubtedly the worst thing thats ever happened to him.

something thats been on my mind concerning bad ending 3: does rika know that saeran is torturing yoosung? saeran must know that yoosung is his savior’s cousin because he’s hacked the chat and presumably has read messages where yoosung mentions being her cousin, correct? therefor wouldnt that make him hesitant to harm him? i think rika must have consented to yoosung being tortured then. maybe his ultimate fate at the end of bad end 3 is that he’ll be brainwashed and become part of mint eye.

man he’s such a bad judge of character lol. he hero worships rika, loves echo girl, thinks that jumin isnt potentially dangerous, and even you can fall into this category if you choose to play it that way. the one person he really dislikes is v, and v has nothing but the rfa’s best interests at heart lol.

something i love about him is how quick he is to call everyone out on their shit. like, his finger is always on the “whats wrong with you? :>” emoji, just waiting for someone to say something he doesnt approve of lolol. he’s so empathetic and naive but he still has such a strong sense of right and wrong and isnt afraid of standing up to his older friends and i think thats great.

ahh. this boy. he might be ranked #2 on LOLOL but he’s ranked #1 in my heart.

707

before playing his route i thought seven was an obnoxious tryhard and that jumin was way funnier, and after playing his route i still think that he’s an obnoxious tryhard and that jumin is way funnier.

HOWEVER.

however. i can definitely see why he’s the most popular character. that hot and cold drama, i-cant-be-with-you-because-it’d-put-you-in-danger, dark childhood backstory, sad clown type shit is a recipe for a lot of fans to be in love with you. he personally doesnt make my kokoro go doki doki like i kind of expected because of the fan response but i do really like him as a character.

he’s similar to zen in the beginning in that you have to constantly stroke his ego and i was like uuuuggghhghghghghg nooooo. “god seven” kill me lol. at least that only lasts for the first few days though.

i liked his bad end 2 where youre really sexually forward with him and he keeps snubbing you until you just snap and push him down lol. (“why arent you pushing me away?” “...i dont know. the floor is comfy.”) seeing him finally just give in and be hedonistic and decide to run away with you was nice. god i want fanfics based on like every bad end, theyre just so interesting

the chat where he tells yoosung that their friendship doesnt matter was paaaainful. also that part on day 10 when youre leaving mint eye and he says horrible shit to v. what was it, “if this is what youre really like i can see why rika blinded you”? like... goddamn, dude. i would never want seven mad at me lol.

one of the moments on this route that got me the most was in the flashback when saeran is being brainwashed and is speaking of or thinking about seven and says something like “please come back. we dont even have to be happy. just as long as we’re together i can endure anything” and then he’s crying about how he misses him and.... augh... *clutches at chest like the heart attack guy meme* i want to give saeran 52 hugs and a box of cupcakes and a puppy. i want to adopt him even though he’s older than me and be his mom. saeran.... saeran...... ;_;

THE ZEN AND YOOSUNG DRUNK PHONE CALL AT THE END OF DAY 10 IS THE BEST FUCKING PHONE CALL IN THE GAME. i called yoosung again after they hang up and he answers and its so great too. i need fanfiction R I G H T N O W about that night. nsfw or sfw, i just need more drunk yoosung antics and zen trying to handle him. oh and if you also call seven at this time he picks up and its really sweet and i think it should have been an incoming call so more people would hear it. the fact that the first time he tells you he loves you is in an optional phone call kinda sucks.

oh fuck his fucking after ending. at first where mc and saeyoung are in bed and talking about going to rescue saeran i was like “GDI CHERTIZ” thinking they were going to leave it open ended, and then in the chat where saeran joins in i fucking s c re a med i was so happy and relieved omfg. seeing the rfa being so inclusive and nice to him warmed my fucking heart. and when they asked him if he has the same taste as saeyoung and he says “ive never been interested in women” and zen is like “oh? where is jumin lololol” i fucking died. i can see now why ive been seeing yoosung/saeran shipping stuff and its romantic and not the abusive stuff based off of yoosung’s bad end 3 like i was expecting. but of course it turns out to be a fucking dream and ruins everything. the second that creepy music box music started playing i was like “fuck you cheritz”.

707′s voice actor in the free talk part is great. saying all these cheesy romantic lines makes him want to “rub sandpaper all over my skin” lmao. and he hopes that it becomes a series with new titles like “Strange Messenger and Thankful Messenger”? fuck yes mate, fuck yes.

does seven not actually open a toy store? :c i kind of want this to be an actual thing. its a good fit for him. maybe the fact that he dreamt about it means that it’s something he’d been thinking about.

oh and BI THE WAY, SEVEN IS BISEXUAL. this makes me so happy. bi visibility is so important to me and the fact that he’s the face of the game, the fan favorite, the canon route, etc, is so delicious. thank you cheritz.

on the subject of the secret endings.... man. i knew it was going to be crazy but i still wasnt prepared. these were a trip and a half and genuinely had me feeling shook up emotionally. if there’s ever a time in my life when i’m too happy i’ll just think about v. definitely the most tragic character in the story. he’s not an angel and he’s pretty much culpable for his own suffering but he did not deserve that.

something of note is that jumin was in love with rika but after learning what she did to v, he has such a grudge against her that he wants her arrested even when she’s completely lost her mind and he even thinks about chasing her down to alaska. he loves v so, so much, augh. it hurts. i’m in pain.

it’s pretty fucked up that jumin (and yoosung and zen and the rest of the world) are still being lied to about v’s “suicide”. jumin spent a lot of money and went to a lot of trouble to get help for saeran, who is his best friend’s murderer and he just doesnt know it.

the fact that yoosung in particular never knows the truth about the cult and drugs and brainwashing and everything is a good thing though. just seeing his hero come back from the dead and be reduced to someone so mentally ill that she cant communicate and needs 24/7 care would be extremely distressing and i imagine would worsen his depression. knowing the truth would be too much i think.

i think this game fucked up v and rika’s VA’s too because both of their free talks quickly derail into too-serious territory. v is like “i once hurt my wife so badly and the guilt was unbearable” and rika is like “im going to die some day and i have no idea when...” and im sitting there like “i need a fucking hug, oh my god”

it’s amazing how quickly the secret endings shot saeran up to being one of my favorite characters. he’s so good. ;_;

okay but what was mint eye’s plan? i know they wanted to end the world’s suffering but like, how exactly? through brainwashing + drugs? rika could clearly see that saeran was miserable though, couldnt she? also some of the things saeran said made me feel like they were going to do some sort of ritual group suicide or something. maybe thats how everyone is going to be happy. and the doctor says that saeran was on peyote, shrooms, AND meth? god damn, what a cocktail lmao rika doesnt fuck around.

i love rika. she’s thoroughly disturbing and a sickening person and i can see why she’s so hated now in the fandom but even she is deserving of sympathy (abused adopted child with severe mental illness) and also has good qualities (high emotional and social intelligence, genuinely sweet, and extremely empathetic). one of my favorite villains from anything in recent memory. she’s terrifying and i absolutely love her.

we never learn her real name, which i thought was intriguing. i get the feeling that she’s meant to be mysterious and unknowable, even with all her power stripped from her as it is at the end.

im so happy that the game ended on a hopeful note, with saeran seeming like he's starting to recover and he's either grown out his hair or dyed it back. he still has literal mint eyes though, which makes me wonder if theyre not contacts like i was thinking and are actually some permanent body mod he had done. he got a tattoo of the mint eye logo, so i wouldnt be surprised if that was the case.

stray thoughts (this part is super disjointed and im just saying things as i think of them)

with the exception of 707 (if you count the secret endings as being part of his route), sometimes i get the feeling of these characters being like big fish in a small pond. mysme is already head and shoulders above what i thought a mobile game could ever be, but that doesnt change that i still feel hungry for something more. i want to see this cast in more situations, under different circumstances. they all feel like fleshed out characters full of potential that are just waiting for something more and bigger to do, like maybe something thats not restricted by being a mobile otome game. but maybe thats one for the fic writers, i dont know. maybe cheritz could work them into another project somehow since mysme got so popular.

i love that the characters have actual flaws. all of them have unattractive qualities that really make them seem human. and all of their relationships with each other are entertaining too. they are all multi-faceted and interesting and i really do adore this cast.

so 707 is the canon route but i hate the thought of any of them being canon because that means the others arent canon. all of them needed you. i want a harem route. give me all of them at the same time.

i feel a spiritual connection with vanderwood. he just constantly looks so done. his gender confused the hell out of me at first. i thought maybe he was a trans woman at first because of the hair and name but then he responds to seven referring to him as a woman with things like “i’m going to taze you”, so i was like “okay, he’s just a dude with a girls name and haircut for some reason” but then seven tripped me up again with the fact that even when the scene is really serious and seven isnt in a joking around mood, he still refers to him with female pronouns. but i guess this could be explained as this is just what seven’s used to. @aouba brought up a really good headcanon that i believe actually is canon because it makes too much sense which is that “mary vanderwood” is just the identity that he’s assuming at the moment, like saeyoung being “707″. its even noted by one of the other RFA members (yoosung?) that the name is weird and sounds fake.

i’m never more thankful to be a pale girl with long brown hair and bangs than when i’m playing this game lol

also i love this game because it feeds into my pathological need to help people without me actually having to do anything lolol

is it just me or do the full portraits of the characters look weird? like when you look at them on the wiki and you can see their legs. i cant tell if it looks bizarre because you just never see their legs in the game or if their legs are drawn weird or both lol.

i love the character designs. 707 in particular is very nicely put together and distinctive. and i love how angelic rika looks. that one taylor swift song thats like “darling i’m a nightmare dressed like a daydream” is totally her theme song.

... okay now that im listening to that song it really does fit rika a lot.

oh and Take Me To Church is def v’s song for rika.

the two guests i was unable to get throughout all the routes is @god and @star. star’s is just so counter-intuitive and god’s seemed like such a crapshoot that with two chances for both i made the same mistake on their first email both times lol.

it surprises me that religion is mentioned so frequently and openly. maybe its not as big of a deal in korea or something? i’m thinking thats the case since two of the VAs mention their religion in their free talk (i forget who but one said they were an atheist and another said they were christian). it just seems like an oddly serious and potentially alienating topic to bring up in a dating sim. also jumin and yoosung are so inconsistent with what they believe. jumin says that he’s christian on one route and then firmly says that there’s no god on another. yoosung says he doesnt believe in god multiple times and that he has no interest in having any religion but he also talks about praying and refers to rika as being “up there” and watching over the rfa. i think zen is actually the only character that doesnt ever say where he aligns.

was anyone else suspecting that rika was the one that blinded the dog, sally? i’m glad that turned out to not be the case.

i love the voice acting so much. i think quality of voice acting is sometimes harder to discern when its not a language you speak, but the quality of the voice acting here shines even to my english-only ears. yoosung’s voice is straight up one of my favorite sounds, 707 has an impressive range and is overall just always entertaining to listen to, i love the way zen’s VA delivers his lines when zen is surprised and his howls lol (which were apparently ad-libbed by his VA), jaehee’s voice sounds so sweet and lovely, and jumin is so very... jumin-y and nice and relaxing to listen to.

zen and the twins were so fucking cute in the flashbacks i want to scream. i know we get to see yoosung as a teenager but im not satisfied and i want to see jumin and jaehee as little children so bad too, augh.

rika and yoosung are the only two characters that get the creepy ass yandere eyes where their eyes get all dull and flat when theyre being crazy.

i never cried but i got pretty close on yoosung’s good end and during the secret endings. i still feel shook from the secret endings lol.

why are there still bad end relationship endings for 707 and zen and jumin that no one has found? its almost february of 2017. its surprising considering the games popularity and how long its been out. is datamining not a thing with mobile games? or does the fandom not have anyone who knows how to datamine, or what?

ships im particularly interested in: jumin/v, jumin/zen, jumin/yoosung, yoosung/seven, yoosung/jaehee, yoosung/zen, yoosung/saeran, seven/saeran because i have no shame, mc/everyone, like literally just every ship tbh because i love every character hnnng

i had no idea that buying the christmas DLC gets you another free talk with the VAs. yoosung’s VA is so cute. “please get your flu shots if you havent already”.

not sure what to do now. i definitely want to replay yoosung. and i want to hunt for all the CGs and phone calls too, but i dont want to spend $20 on the calling cards lol. would buying them even be a better deal than just spending the same money on hourglasses? $26 gets you 1000 hourglasses which is more than you’d ever need, right? it seems like the better deal, unless youre not using a phone call guide for some reason and want to try to just discover them all on your own.

i’m super excited for more DLC. i definitely think there will be more because when you open the DLC folder, the christmas DLC is shoved off to the left, making room for at least one more. also just the nature of it being a DLC folder and not a direct button to the christmas DLC.

... i guess thats all i have to say lol;;; bless cheritz. this game is fantastic and has consumed my life and ruined my sleep for the past almost three months and i had so much fun and i hope they get even more ambitious with their future projects.

[mefukimeme-gonebithc]

SWINGS OPEN DOOR FRANTICALLY AND POINTS AT ALL THE EMOJIS: do it

.........................oh boy

🐰 what is one secret that you’ve never told anyone?

HMMM most of them id rather not talk about since theyre really personal/a lot of them arent really secrets since i have talked abt them but they can easily go unnoticed sooooo

im confessing to having a thing for gloves i guess??? specifically black cloth gloves (im not a fan of leather, feels Weird) so. ye. 

💗 if you could hug anyone, who would it be?

All (in the end id probably be getting hugged tho haha im v awkward at hugging vs being hugged)

🐹 what are some of your favourite Pokémon and why?

CARBINKS!!! anything that i deem cute is my favourite (ex. r/owlets, m/imikyus, bonus since theyre a dark/fairy >:3c!!, pum/pkaboo, etc) 

🌠 if you were in charge of the world, what would the world look like?

donald trump would be dead and obama can stay president for another 4 years until the world gains potential candidates that arent shitty

👀 what was the most recent vivid dream that you had?

I Dont Think I Want To Talk About It. ill just link the post. (btw thats my dream journal blog, i should use it more)

☀️ what do you like the most about your best friend?

i have multiple so hmm.....maybe the fact they put up with my gay bullshit

😘 talk about your crush or partner

gay. moving on.

💁 if someone was rude to you, would you be rude back?

ya betch

🌟 what do you like about yourself? (must choose at least 3 things!)

-hair

-singing

-cuteness factor

🐾 what are you scared of most? how will you overcome it?

HMM im mainly scared of losing my friends and thatll take more than just mental training to move on, but uhh i DO have a mild fear of getting assaulted..........idk how to fix that bc its actually really bad paired up w paranoia

🎁 what never fails to make you happy?

kuro kiryu. he can also easily make me cRY WHEN HES A FUCKING RANKING CARD.

💙 what annoys you about some people?

when they do stuff theyre not asked to do and complain like “oh my GOd [persons name] why cant you do this??? im so tired, i just wanna rest, but i HAVE to do this!!” like shut up no one asked you to do it, if youre so tired to rest first and then do it.

another irritating thing is people who use the term “special snowflake” unironically especially on kids who make edgy/mary sue ocs like shut up ugly let them grow up and regret their choices by themselves, dont teach them its okay to make fun of younger people for their edgy ocs

😤 do you get angry easily?

irritated??? ya, angry??? no

youd have to do some fucked shit to get me angry, but i do get irritated fast

🐇 what do you always daydream about?

I DONT THINK I CAN TALK ABOUT THEM HERE,,,

🌻 if you could change 3 things about the world what would you change?

-education system

-change how the U.S. ignores the struggles of third world countries unless it profits them/benefits them

-solar energy  

🍓 send me 4 names: kiss, befriend, kill or marry?

“GKL JGAE THE ODDBALLS”

kiss - wataru

befriend - rei

marry - natsume

kill - shu

✈️ what is your dream city and why?

SAN DIEGO!!! its got such a nice vibe, its never too hot there, NATURE!!! I LOVE THE SCENERY THERE EVEN IN THE CITY THERES TREES AND ITS SO NICE!! its just got such a nice vibe to it i havent felt anywhere else and its SO NICE!!

☕️ talk about your ideal day

ideal day, i get to be home alone, play both of AKATSUKI’s albums while talking and playing games with friends without worry ill be too loud to anyone else, i get good food, and i have a nice dream that i remember vividly

alternatively, visiting a bunch of greenhouses/nature filled areas would be Great

🌸 are you an introvert, ambivert or extrovert?

uhh im gonna go with ambivert/introvert leaning

💧 when was the last time you cried?

crying as in “i feel like Death”, literally a few hours ago because i remember the daikagura kuro.....

as in actually breaking down, yesterday was really bad grhgra

🎵 name 5 songs you love at the moment

1. love letter of the brilliance of cherry blossoms

2. temptation magic

3. ryusei hanabi

4. hinakura to neji ama 

5. the living ghost is alive

⚡️ if you had any superpower, what would it be and why?

HMMM this is actually hard for me to pick bc ive had multiple kins where i had powers fuc UHHH

its really hard for me to pick just one, so i guess ill just list off top 5 and why

1. teleportation - i could teleport to my friends cities, also i could prob trick people into thinking im running when im just teleporting inch by inch/foot by foot >:3c

2. deceiving ability like kano - ,,,it seems pretty neat

3. the ability to cheer people up - ,,, it seems pre

4. shapeshifting/transformation - theres absolutely no consequences to being able to make myself taller.........

5. weapon/item creation - i could just make headphones instead of buying them AND i can ensure theyll last

💛 if you could talk to your younger self, what would you say?

dont worry about how youre being treated now, itll get better

💚 who are you jealous of and why?

ahh, its hard for me to be jealous uhh

in one aspect, i guess te/tora since hes so energetic and hes paired so often with ku/ro...im pretty jealous

in another aspect, j/acksep/ticeye or th/omas san/ders. id love to be able to make a difference to others like how they do, not to mention id love to be as energetic as them

💎 which one would you rather have more of: intelligence, beauty, kindness, wealth or bravery? why?

bravery definitely. im fairly kind, i have enough brain power (OOOOO AIEOU JOO-) to get by, im fine with how cute i am >;3c, wealth is good but over bravery which im very much lacking in, id rather be brave so i could do so many things id love to do......

🙊 what are you ashamed of?

in a joking manner: my kink for intimidating characters. @ me chill

in a serious matter: probably the fact im awful at trying to cheer people up and i feel awful fornot even trying anymore

🌺 which languages do you know? which do you want to learn?

i know english, im VERY limited in thai/lao/japanese, and i know next to nothing of spanish/german/french but i did take a few notes about them bc i was bored. i wanna learn thai/lao the most so i can connect with my culture more, but japanese would be nice since a lot of stuff i enjoy is japanese and i dont wanna hastle others to translate stuff for me haha

🍀 if you could be any fictional character’s best friend/lover, which fictional character would you be?

KURO KIRYU I LOVE HIM

☁️ talk about your dream universe.

a universe where im energetic, not lazy, and motivated to continue on in life and make the world just a tad bit better. and i live with my friends in a nice house in san diego!!

💜 which acts of kindness are you going to do today?

,,, i really dont know, and thats why im disappointed in myself

🐬 if you could transform into any animal/magical creature, what would you be and why?

demon. theres so many types of demons i dont have to be malicious, plus i could blend in fairly well. theres no rly big downside except ill be frowned upon by other divines

🍄 talk about someone/something you really dislike

someone: you hurt my boyfriend you take away his fp you pretty much fuck him over and you proceed to have gross/abusive kinks shut the fuck up ugly i hate you so much and i never even talked to you i never want to see you mention his url or name ever again youre so awful

something: school fucking sucks and i can bring up a lot of reasons for this. 1: some of the teachers hired are only hired to educate, so personality wise they could be oppressive towards their students. 2: while i do feel like having a core lesson plan is okay, FORCING kids into certain core subjects is bad and they end up not learning because they feel like they HAVE to be their best or else theyll fail, and thats awful. the grading system isnt completely awful, since it shows kids areas that need to be improved, but making it some life changing thing is just...bad...because at that point it goes from “well you need to improve in these areas, so why dont we offer you help so theyll be easier!!” to “GET BETTER AT THIS OR BE FOREVER UNEMPLOYED” and i hate it. i could rant about this.

😣 talk about some things that have been making you depressed/angry/anxious lately

ive just been.....depressed bc of low swing my dude. a big issue would be my entire “i want to do good but i suck” thing, and yesterday i had a really bad dream as stated earlier and it made me extremely anxious for the entire day until i finally talked to my friend about it. theres also the fact i have school but theres no way i can finish it now

🍪 what did you want to be as a kid, and what do you want to be now?

vet, now im like...im unsure... i wanna get into architech/floor planning/house designing and also be sort of like a youtube/internet idol??? if that makes sense......idk

🍰 what are some of your favourite sugary foods?

ice cream is one of the only ones i can tolerate haha- i LOVE mochi ice cream but i cant get them fresh here since theres no east asian centric stores here (only southeast/hispanic fusion stores) so rip... ia lso like cheesecake a fair bit

🍑 what are you obsessed with?

kur/o kiryu. or e/nstars in general i guess

💘 what happens to you when you’re stressed?

my breathing gets a bit faster, my chest starts vaguely aching and i get nauseous

😪 what are you sick of?

THE COLD. ITS S O C O L D. PLEASE HELP.

🙀 are you an adrenaline seeker?

nope, not really. i do awful at horror games, im terrified of roller coasters, and the thought of jumping out of a plane makes me wanna decay

💥 what are some unpopular opinions that you have?

sh/u it/suki is Bad. the y/oi fandom is made up 80% of really bad fuj/oshi who later hopped onto an extremely controversial manhwa. hea/thens wasnt too bad of a song. i still like mi/necraft/happy tr/ee friends. i like rh/ythm games but dont like rh/ythm heaven. mc/a wasnt awful. ut/apri as an anime isnt too bad but definitely doesnt match up to the games quality in both art and story telling. id/olm@st/er is a tad bit over rated. ens/tars should be localized to ENG.

☔️ would you consider yourself a good person?

haha nope

😊 what do you like to do as hobbies?

draw/VERY rarely sew/read tarot, which is what im supposed to be doing anyways

🎤 what’s the last song you hummed or sang by yourself?

uhhh it was either te/mptation magic or love letter of the brilliance of cherry blossoms

🐝 what’s your worst trait? how are you planning to improve it?

how i cant cheer people up or help people be more positive. ir aelly dont know how i can improve it my dude, but im thinking.

🎨 what do you always doodle when you’re bored?

usually bunnies, but if im feelin crafty ill doodle an anime char

🐻 what’s stopping you from chasing your dreams?

age mostly

🌷 what’s your mbti personality and why do you think it suits you?

INTP, and idk its just there

🐶 send me 3 fictional people and I’ll choose my favourite!

“the battle: ra*bits” MMMMMMMMM nito. dgmw i love mits/uru and i loved how energetic he was + i liked mitsuru too but ni/to introduced me to ku/ro in my canon and he was very supporting of me/tried his best to help me

👑 who are your favourite celebrities and why?

i dont really have a CELEBRITY celebrity fave but itd def be t/homas sanders internet wise

🐴 opinion on __?

“holds up kiibo”

a good boi. i trust him

🍋 do you consider yourself an emotional person?

ehh its actually really hard for me to become emotionally unless im deeply attached to something sooo not really

📚 share 3 books that you love and your favourite quote from them.

ghost girl, maximum ride, and cr*zy

i dont remember any quotes from the first and last books BUT “WE’RE LIKE FREAKIN BALLERINAS AND YOU ARE LIKE A FRIDGE WITH WINGS” will always be my fave

😔 what do you always do when you feel sad? does it help?

listen to music, isolate myself justtt a tad bit, and try to distract myself. it helps to a certain extent, but it wont save my ass

😌 what thoughts keep you going when you’re sad?

k/uro ki

🌍 which country do you live in?

america

🐧 describe yourself in 3 words

a fucking asshole

🐵 which quotes changed you?

“you think youre ugly but youre just not your type” -some tumblr post i cant find atm

💭 do you keep a diary?

i keep a dream journal, but i stopped keeping diaries because im wayyy too paranoid someones gonna snoop

💫 who inspires you?

HMMMM chi/aki morisawa, tho/mas sanders, and j/acksepticeye

👻 do you believe in ghosts and why?

ye, theres no proof that they DONT exist (although you could argue theres also no evidence that they DO exist), PLUS i have had some experiences with ghosts! also itd be fuckin....awkward if id idnt considering i wanna get into s/pirit work

🎀 what’s your fashion sense like?

ko/toko ut/sugi is the only way i could describe it. kinda gothic-punk??? i used to be into yum/ekawaii and fa/iry kei but i ended up falling out of them.

🎬 what are some of your favourite films?

MMM ri/se of the gua/rdians was pretty good, zo/otopia was also good...the book of life was really good and i wanna watch it again now ahhh

🍦 what is one treasured childhood memory?

idonthaveonemymemorypastsixmonthsisgoneandmychildhoodwasfilledwithmebeinginsulted UHH one time in 6th grade i dated a dude and he gave me a teddybear/candy for valentines day and it was really nice, i felt bad since i didnt get him anything and i feel bad for not even breaking up with him to his face

🐱 what’s your dream pet like?

bunny. thats all

🐼 if you could meet anyone, who would it be?

KURO KI

[isaacathom]

time to think about various story ideas ive had, yeehaw

ACitDS - Thomas trying to find their parents amidst the angel/demon war. pretty neat. I wanted to make a game out of it so the player could decide which way Thomas swung in terms of angel/demon, giving leeway for players who made mechanical choices against the ‘moral’ choice (cause like, split progression, man. it was gonna be pretty flexible and based mostly on choices within the world, though one route was locked behind a specific skill progression).

ACB - ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. war story about a commander trying to protect their homeland, except they arent even a commander in that homeland, and also its just really complicated. I like the individual characters i guess, even if im pretty sure Black themself was... not... my best character. I’ve made more ableist ones (hhhhhh) but that wasn’t my finest, so acb would need a total rehaul to fix that sorta thing. characters neat though.

SFY/414 - the whole gang of criminals help a guard catch other criminals story. or gay suicide squad, as you wish. i like my characters, and i like a whole lot of it, and i like the world. the core premise is a lil shaky but if you get past it, fun times, i think. i love tamjol especially.

SFY/425 - i dont know shit about the civil war plot except that tamjol is there and gets accused of being a traitor after his group finds out he’s a Shonyul, thats a fun one. thats basically the only thing i know for certain about it, that those scenes happen, and maybe one where he confronts his “father” directly, idk, weird stuff all around.

SFY/BTH/386 - sailing time. theres a storm, a mutiny, a second bloodier mutiny, and then a whole ass dragon eats like 2 whole boats without warning, god damn.

CCC - we have established i think that idea slapped i just never wrote shit. i dont remember any of their names. i just know some fuckers got lazered in the chest. tight.

Codename Seren - oh no

Codename Sworl - uhhh bunch of aliens get sent to earth disguised as teen girls to track down a different group of aliens. i remember nothing except that the sworl Charlotte ended up falling in love with a girl called Aaliyah (??????) who was actually one of the enemy aliens, and also that the sworl overlords were trash. everything else, big ol’ no clue.

EC - former MC fanfic, crystal’s sister and BIL get kidnapped by the goddess of fire in order to get the city (of which the BIL is like, the prince?) to do a bunch of specific things so that the fire goddess can release the imprisoned goddess of darkness. also one of the members of the motley gang crystal acquires is actually the fire goddesses missing daughter, and another is the descendant of some of the dark gods closest attendants who bailed and were hunted down. and the other dude is like. the son of a ghost? like? a ghost? like his human ass father found a portal to an afterlife realm and fucked one of the librarians and now their kid is half fucking ghost, I dont get it, also the man had a wife so uh W. Skye’s dad was messed.

GGS - hell yea. gods forming pacts with a bunch of youngsters who die in tragic circumstances (one was a car accident, another got crushed by a tree, and a pair got caught in a burning house). fun times. the car one had the war goddess as her partner and was able to summon a magic gun, the tree one had the god of time and fought with a magic sword while his COMPLETELY HUMAN sister kept tagging along on his missions and using a dustbin lid as a shield to help him out. nice. i love them all.

KoA - i dont remember whats happening there except that one of the kids was like, iron resistant? so she could use magic even when in iron? and fter they got captured by the govt or whatever they found out about her power and things escalated and im like 90% sure they fucking. hit her on the head with a shovel and killed her? i. i dont know why that was what i decided should happen in my novel but there you go, huh. her sister was very upset and i think ended up finding out she was iron resistant too? i dont remember the plot of this.

Kingdom Keys  - crocodile minigame and a littol skeleton man. basically if you found three keys you could access this area and get a wish granted by the goddess, and the skeleton dude had tried this previously and sort of failed? its kind of unclear but i think it was that he’d adventured with the main girls mother for the keys and i think she died? so then he used his wish to save her life? or the other way around? i think he died trying to get either the 1st or 2nd key and at the end the mother made it to the goddess and used her wish to bring him back, except he was a skeleton for Uh Reasons (how fucking long did it take???) and then i think the mother died after, i DONT know. i just remember littol skeleton boy man dude. he was like, 16 but also like 40, i think, i AM Unclear

Mermaid Cafe - there is no plot to mermaid cafe except that a mermaid like, comes on land and hides her identity, goes to a cafe by the sea one day to be a little closer to home, and then gets trapped along with a bunch of other people when the sea goes Very Bad. it was a very weird dream.

Minds Eye - ? gods claim your kids when theyre born and raise them? there was no further plot. i dont remember shit.

Mistakenbound - the last gasp of my hs phase, may it rest in peace. some heart player got murdered for revolution b4 the game starts but persisted as a ghost and pretended to be a blue blood, which while it was based more off the story of Rhia from COdename Seren, is a fuck of an aradia ripoff, whoopsie fucking Daisies

LOTMV - light demigod gets “kidnapped” by a dark demigod, sparks a war, very complicated, i mostly like it. one draft had the light demigod killing her shitty soldier ex-boyfriend at the end of the story after he almost murders the dark demigod, who has all but become her gf in the time since she left home. fun stuff.

Puppeteers Rebellion - buncha voodoo shit, smth about voodoo being outlawed and a countess using her powers in it to try and overthrow the kingdom, being foiled by the princess who she had (inadvertently?) been training at a sewing circle thing. i think?

Re:Memory - rebirth where your actions in your previous two lives determine your class, protag is class 1 (worst) because her last lives where a fucking infant and a murderer. befriends the princess (class 7) and idk what the hell were they planning to do but it was gonna be smth.

RiH - story about a thief with a metal arm trying to save the metal forest from an unnatural rust, aided by a knight who is one of the few people who actually notices their presence. was actually an MSPFA, ripperino, i still have like, 4 panels total and nothing else.

Royalty Story - uhhh country being run by Queen Adelaide acting as regent for her like, 21 year old son, but then she gets taken captive by this woman named Hazel who starts running the kingdom, forcing Adelaides three kids to flee the castle and try and find a solution. idk what was going on. the kids were Jackson, Morgan, Lillian, in order, iirc? cause the naming scheme was -an (sound). i thought it was neat. Lillian was the only one who shortened her name, to i like just Lilli, but Jackson was never Jack. they were neat.

SoaCS - pirate sets off a curse that means they are followed by a terrible icy storm, ends up being cast overboard by their (new) crew and saved by a woman on an island, who then also helps them escape when the storm ravages her home. then they go on a whole thing try to fix the mistake that HE made, resulting in them going back to where he had abandoned his crew in search of treasure. lotta fun. he even directly saves her life at a point where he had failed/refused to save one of his old partners last time, which was neat, but overall she was saving his ass. fun times. never wrote much for that.

Shadow Huntress- idk theres a girl called Blake and shes aways running because she thinks if she stops people will notice the scars of battle with like, The Darkness. physical battle, but also the emotional toll. ends up mentoring a few of her classmates who became hunters sort of incidentally. idk.

TDoC - so theres a demon king in the center of the lake, and around this lake are a bunch of cities with demon lords. and you have to kill the demon lords in order in order to be able to access the demon king and kill him. and there was a mechanic in place where you could only kill one demon lord/king. so the new party who is trying to free themselves from demon rule is accompanied by a group who tried many years prior, and in the first battle one of them fucking dies while trying to kill the lord because it turns out! that in the last attempt! he had succeeded in laying the final blow, and his soul was forever weakened and could not withstand the demonic energy this time, so from the outside he basically stabbed down at this demon lords week spot and then the second his blade made contact there was a burst of energy and he collapses like a sag of bricks who barely lives to the end of the battle to explain what happened. that was neat. i like the idea of the party by the time they get to the demon king being people who had all killed a demon lord, meaning they shouldnt be able to kill the king, but then they all manage to deal the final blow together, with their combined souls withstanding the initial burst of energy and killing him. whether they all die afterwards or just kinda pass the fuck out to be found by their allies outside who react to the demonic death wail, idk. i think its neat. that end sounds kinda cliche but presumably they had their best soldiers (demon killers) and then a handful of people with them who HADNT killed a demon who should have been able to, except the king could fucking smell em and wiped the floor with them early, knocking them out or killing them to focus on toying with the ones he wanted revenge on. I’m down for that. cause then its slightly less of a like, “twist”, since in the planning to kill the king SOMEONE would have noticed that they had to send some non-heroes :P So make sure you do, I guess.

TFOS - princess vs dragon, she has a gun and she wants revenge for her older sister and aso to save her kingdom. aided by a mage a knight and a rogue, bunch of lesbian mfers fighting dragons, Nice.

TFT - proto GGS, main difference was that becoming a demigod was essentially randomised and that there was like. a god of computers. who i think i reworked as a god of technology? or something? tech generally, not computer tech. idk. cherry was cute.

WTDD - the worlds surface is a series of spinning gears with cities and towns on them, and the gears all powered a music box below the earth which kept this colossal dragon asleep. and then one day the gears stop and the dragon wakes up. something like that. the initial thing was world is gears, but id probably shift it to a city or an area? cause the idea of a city constantly rotating sucks ass. admittedly that was straight up the reason the gears stopped in the initial writing, because the villain (??) was sick of the rotation ad fucking. blew a gear up. nice.

YD3N - uhh bunch of robots? one for eac letter of the alphabet (so there was Aden, Byden, Cyden, Dyden, Eden, etc) and Yd3n was the source of all of them. and then a robot called syd3n manages to escape and finds the aid of a local engineer called Ignis Lex, and they try to free their siblings and especially Yd3n, and find out the purpose for the alphabet crew. fun fact, this entire story came about because on the way home from uni I saw a dude in front of me with a jumper that said ‘Sydney’, except the last y was covered and my brain misread what was left as Syden, which is why theyre the protag. Neat.

thats the only ones listed. its missing a few, but i dont remember them much or have names for them :P

[survivorelsalvador]

FINALE - It Was Unnatural For Me To Have Any Moments Of Feeling Good About Myself - Richie

DANA

"It's me America, the QUEEN of winning F6 immunity and ruining everyone's plans. Thinking about how sad everyone was feeling when I won is honestly making me CACKLE.

So.. now what? Fuck everyone except Nicholas honestly. I'll be bored out of my mind if he goes home this round, so I'm not letting them happen. I won F6 immunity which is lit and means... IT'S TIME TO FIGHT without fear of what it might mean for my chances at getting further in this game.

Ashton whom? He decides to reach out to me tonight for the first time in the game. It's laughable, and honestly THE MOST™disingenuous thing someone could do at this stage in the game. This sketchy weasel pops into my pms trying to be all ~casual~

On 7/12/17, at 1:30 AM, Ashton wrote: > Hey. I can't believe we haven't talked once this whole game lol

LIKE. IT'S F6 U INSINCERE BITCH. WYD.

I can ABSOLUTELY believe we didn't talk. Let's just call it like it is Ashton, you didn't want to talk to miss me and I wasn't too hot on talking to you either. But at this point? King of inactivity is probably my best option at keeping Nicholas around, so i'll be a fake ass bitch and sell myself to him. That's fine I guess.

All I want is Lily gone and I'll plant whatever garbage lies I have to so I can make it happen. Catch me on the other side of the F6 Tribal Council though, fans. "

ASHTON

Okay I'm gonna tell you a little story about a useless goat named Ashton. He began the game on a tribe he doesn't remember the name of and swapped to another tribe he doesn't remember the name of and finally swapped to another tribe he doesn't remember the name of where he aligned with two powerhouses, Lily and Richie. Lily and Richie did everything for him, added people to the alliance, figured out who he should vote for and even kept him in the game with an idol. But Anakin turns on Obi-Wan, at some point an apprentice has to turn on their master. And for young, naive Ashton...this might be that point. Dana and Nicholas are two easy votes, this could be the time to make a move and take out the biggest player in this game, Lily...or not. Toon in later to see how it all turns out.

RICHIE

"i was so extra for zakriah's vote out smh.. dana went H A R D campaigning to me like i was impressed by her ability to talk and determination so iconic i was shook!!!! unfortunately for her our interests didnt line up at the time so what she was saying didnt work out in her favor but still damn she tried!!! she came to me saying that her/nicholas/zak had 2 vote negators and were voting out lily and how lilys such a big threat and if she makes it to the end the 3 of them are all voting for her......

so i played along and joined an alliance chat with them and i talked to dana a lot about it to the point where i told them i was with them and i said lets vote lily.. my hope was that if they thought i was with them then they wouldnt play both vote negators because i knew lily had 1 vote negator and if i convinced nicolas/zak/dana that i was with them they would have the numbers without playing both negators so that me/lily/chips/ashton would still have the majority or else if they played both it would have been a tie and gone to rocks....

i think my plan worked? i wasnt sure if they were bluffing about the double negator or what their deal was but in the end it worked out where zak played a negator and lily played a negator and i voted with my real alliance and betrayed dana/nicholas/zak and i felt bad about leading them on because it really wasnt THAT necessary but there hasnt been an idol played since i played it at the merge vote so i've been on high alert thats why we voted zak because we figured dana and nicholas would be more likely to play one (RIP ZAK IM SORRY AGAIN) but i couldnt vote out lily because shes a shield for me if i got rid of her last time i would be target #1 in final 6 and be at the bottom of the zak/nic/dana alliance so it just didnt make sense for me to flip... i dont usually lie like that and i hated doing it but it needed to be done to assure everything went down smoothly "

"dana desperately campaigns part 2: nicholas hasnt approached me once to save himself its been all dana and im still shook by how much shes trying like good for her i love it when people are here to play and dont give up she won the immnity when she needed it and doing everything she can to try and put herself in a better position next week impressive and legendary!! the only problem is its very transparent shes saying things that i know arent true shes trying to downplay her game like i str8 up told her shes going to win if shes in the end and she said ""I really… am not. I havent spoken to any of the jurors except Willow. I don’t know Austin or Josh.... like i have never spoken to them"" but i know these things aren't true because i was aligned with austin and he campaigned to keep dana and was giving her information and thats why i idoled him out and i know she talks to zak because i caught her in a lie from her campainging last week vs what she said in the tribe chat

[7/10/17, 4:07:52 PM] Dana Barry (Bouvet Island Host): i talked to zak for the first time in the game… mmmmm right after willow left

[7/10/17, 10:17:16 PM] Dana Barry (Bouvet Island Host): I have a 50 day snap streak with zakriah that I WILL NOT kill for this game so

so im sticking with my 4 of me chips lily and ashton and voting out nicholas... im hoping theres no idol and if there is an idol dana's fixation on lily will mean she goes over me "

ASHTON

I'm voting Nicholas this tribal. I wanna stay loyal to my alliance for now and that might come back to bite me but I think it's the right move. So I tell Dana that I'm not gonna be making a move with her this time and she goes full Ciera Eastin on me, "You guys are stupid, Make a move blah blah blah". Basically throwing a pity party because I'm not doing what she wants. I don't know what she expects when she has been feeding me bullshit about how she's not a jury threat when her whole fucking alliance is on the jury.

IMMUNITY LETS GO. WOO WE NEEDED THIS. BYE DANA PEACE OUT.

It all came down to this immunity challenge if Lily wins she wins the game and we need to stop that. So when Richie won the final immunity I was elated because that meant we could vote her out and actually have a shot at winning the game. It's gonna be a simple vote 3-1 Lily and she's not helping herself by coming after me. So Adios you turned on me in seconds so doesn't feel as bad to have to turn on you.

LILY

I really hate this bullshit. Richie is fake af. Bitch, I told me vote me out at 7 if you aren't taking me to the end. Fake af Richie I never would have done that to you if your ass was on the line. You are going to lose this game and I'm excited to hang this thing to chips or really switch it up and just give the win the Ashton. Proud that I won two of the challenges just wish I could have finished the job so I would finally get a chance at FTC. Really disappointed 😔

RICHIE

"well... i was going to write a confessional about how well everything has gone for me game wise... we got nicholas out then we got dana out and it was our group of 4 that ive been working with this whole time in the end and i won final immunity so i made it and it looks like me chips and ashton are going to the end together and out of us 3 i feel like i definitely played the most strategic and dominant game so i was basically prematurely celebrating my win the second immunity results came out but my .00003 seconds of self confidence faded quickly lmao which is okay because it was unnatural for me to have any moments of feeling good about myself im much more comfortable being back in a place of self loathing!!

i told lily i was voting her out because i really like her and shes so sweet and i didnt want to blindside her like i've been final juror multiple times in other games and its such a shitty position and i just wanted to tell her rather than string her along because i have immunity theres no reason to lie to her... but FUCK she's pissed and it makes sense she feels like ive betrayed her and i kinda have... i neverrrrrr made a final 3 deal with her and i was sure to always choose my words carefully about going to the end together because ive known shes a jury threat just by how likable she is and i know that ive fucked people over and in this game i havent been the most likable person so sitting next to her infront of a jury would be stupid of me but god she went off telling me that shes never going to vote for me that shes not going to be kind shes going to do everything to ruin my reputation in jury  saying ""I do not respect disloyalty. I will destroy your game for this, you can't win solely on challenges. I will say and do everything in my power so you lose this game. That is your choice"" and ""You won't get my vote and I don't care what you do to try and get it. I won't ask you any questions and I will get to that jury and do what I want to ruin your game."" and a lot more.... so it sucks that i hurt her on a personal level and on a game level ive tried to do damage control and i was hoping by telling her this far ahead of the vote would give her time to decompress before going into jury pissed and have a chance to explain myself but i dont think theres any hope for that so RIP "

LILY

Chips, my favorite human? Yes.

[isaacathom]

technically the logical extension o Rhia’s arc is for her to actually become the Champion in between the ‘first’ game and the ‘second’ but i also feel like that only makes sense if she took the e4 job willingly. which she ONLY does if you reconcile her and Elliot. if they dont reconcile, she takes the job out of a sense of duty, not because she explicitly wants it. she DOES, like she does want the job, because even if she hates authority on some level she still really wants to be a powerful trainer and protect people. but she didnt go into it with the right mindset. but if Rhia and Elliot sort out their problems, Rhia is able to deal with her issues with authority and take the e4 job with glee. she revels in it! she loves it! its the culmination of her childhood dreams! and this would allow her to become the champion in future, should Gwendolen allow it (bearing in mind Gwen is a fucking beast). but if Rhia still has that slight block, if she and Elliot didnt really deal with their problems ‘correctly’ (constructively?) then Rhia wouldnt have the drive. so even if Gwendolen said ‘hey Rhia you’re really strong. would you consider trying to become the Champion?’ she’d probably say no! even though, in her heart, she really wants to. but being unable to deal with Elliot properly is a block on that, for her.

its like. the thing with the split ending is that, even though Rhia becomes the e4 member no matter WHAT route you put her down (due to postgame content), Rhia doesn’t get to feel correctly about Elliot. with Reconcile, your actions prove to her that Elliot has changed, and she opens up to the possibility of sorting out their problems, which ultimately allows both of them to grow. not to move past, because Rhia’s life has been intimately shaped by his actions, but to grow with it instead of remaining stunted. but Split, your actions prove he HASNT changed, so she is closed to the idea. so when Elliot basically forces her to consider that he’s changed (by intervening in the confrontation with Felicity and nearly getting himself actually killed like straight up human murdered) its not right. she still ends up acknowledging that he has changed, but the context for that revelation changes EVERYTHING for her. because in reconcile, its mutal. in split, its one sided, and its elliots side, forcing what he wants onto her AGAIN. and even if Rhia doesn’t consciously acknowledge this (if she did she’d probably fucking shatter so its for the best), she’s aware of this dissonance on some level and it continues to hold her back.

the only way to properly reconcile these differences (in routes, not elliot/rhia, fuck) is for that hypothetical second game to recognise those choices you made, and change the formation of the whole elite 4 around it. like, in the ‘first’ game, the only change that is made is whether Elliot is in the e4 at all. Rhia will be in the e4 by the end regardless, but Elliot can be there for a while (at least once - you can take on the league during te postgame story though thats a weird choice for you to make as a player but i mean fuck it power to the player?). but in the second game, as an extension OF that choice, it changes whether Rhia is just an e4 member or if shes the champion, WHICH then extends to affecting Gwendolen, who would now just be a regular elite. and that seems like a lot of effort to make? though it would be kind of fun. the ‘default’ would be Rhia Champion because i make the rules.

though if i was going to allow the E/R routes to have that much of a consequence, then id have to make the same allowance for Sam, since the asumption is if you ended up with team!Sam (who then disappears after the tower because /they got arrested/) they would return in the second game as a Villain. or could they be reformed? thats the issue. once Sam is arrested i imagined that the player would get one last chance to talk to them, maybe apologise or wish them good luck, or say shit like ‘good riddance’ or laugh. and if thats the case, would THAT dialogue feed in? would a Sam who received an apology act the same as a Sam who did not? i dont think so! id hope that the apology would help Sam be a better person, while an insult would make Sam more bitter and more likely to commit more crimes in their future! so THAT alone is like, a SPLIT in the route, meaning theres actually 4 permutations of Sam. apology!sam, insult!sam, neutral!sam, and friend!sam. which is a shit to fuck. my god. thats so much. admittedly neutral!sam does fuck all, but friend!sam would have a place, absolutely. they’d be working with Mattie and Rhia and all the other org loyalists to continue running the region but properly this time. insult!sam is off being a big part of whatever new villain appears. and apooology!sam issss..... maybe double crossing? their past as a Team member allows them power in the new villains group but theyre good intentions allow them to work with the ‘new org’ and they can double agent. which would lead to some significant differences. then theres Zeke, who i STILL havent figured out what the fuck is doing. and THEN theres the other characters who would exist in that game who would have their own routes. itd be a clusterfuck, is my point.

idek what this is useful for. psychoanalysing Rhia? about right. if she doesnt get closure the way she wants it - with mutual understanding - then she never truly grows. on the surface she may end up in a similar place, doing similar things, but its where she goes from there. with closure, shes free to move forward onto other things, other problems. it will always be there, but it can be managed. if the closure doesnt come or it comes wrong, it will be harder to manage and she cant move past it as much. yay! she can only unlock her potential if she closes that door to that which holds her back and confronts it. and while forcing her to confront it is ONE way to do that, allowing her to make that choice to close it herself at her own speed is more meaningful to me and lets her feel satisfied with the outcome.

in the hypothetical far future, a split!Rhia, even though she has technically reconciled with Elliot, will probably never truly come to terms with it until he dies. and he will, probably 10-20 years after the end of the postgame. thats when a split!Rhia will open herself proper, but its too little, too late. the ability to have proper closure is lost and im fucking projecting arent i. god fucking dammit. im projecting. nooopppeee zip that shit we arent do that again.

idk maybe if i got closure id be able to give Rhia the closure she deserves but i imagine she’d end up in the same boat as me, where she’s never able to properly close the door on that chapter of her life and it hangs open at all times, flapping in the wind. she can never truly right it off. and maybe if he’s not there she’ll be free on some level, and able to move forward in a different way, but it definitely isnt the same, and its not the ending she wants. Rhia wants to confront Elliot and have him be genuine with her and explain himself, and for him to accept what he’s done. if he dies before she thinks he’s done that (or before SHE has properly explained herself in a way that feels satisfying) then its a failure.

this is just some fuck shit.