#there are so many things you can call him but the biggest one is cringe

[ekourege]

kim dokja really is a protagonist after my own heart he is just so.... deeply cringe

[sayitdido]

♡♡bf!txt and things you can do for them♡♡

synopsis: small or big things/gestures to show your love for them or things they would love in their partner and their reaction based on my observations and astrology /seperate

genre: pure fluff and nothing else i swear

wanings: delulu headcanons, might come across cringe to some, is fluff a warning? imo it is! fight me about it if you want, kissing?

i love my tubatu boys so much, i want to cry~

let him what he needs to do show love

i think yeonjun would get very upset if you were to say stuff like how overwhelmed you are with his gifts since you can't do the same for him or judge him for wanting to show pda

so he is most likely to settle for bare minimum in this case. he has high standarts in everything else but this one in particular restricts him and his love for you. so just let him love you however he wants~

listen to his advices

he no means to control you but let's just say you made changes in your style just because yeonjun suggested you to do that particular thing, he would be so happy. this may include lots of variations of advice but like i said not in a controlling way.

wear matching clothes/accessories with him

not cringe ones like "his/hers" or "look at my bf/gf" but like waering the same necklace he bought for you or same themed clothes that do not necessarily scream couple clothes.

tumbling down his walls

i don't think yeonjun likes showing weakness. i have similar placements with him, i would know. so when you be the person he can truly feel comfortable around to show his real self, he is considering you love of his life.

encourage him in what he does

although this may apply to everything he is passionate about, his job in particular is where he needs you to be hyping him up. call him "4th gen it boy" or compliment his lyricism and him being all rounder. yeah almost everyone does that but he also needs you to do that, too.

let him take care of you

soobin has this great parental energy that traditionally falls under father figure roles. what i mean is for example if you have a problem you are facing, just let him be the one who helps you solve it. i am not saying he wants to be your savior but he cares so much and this is his way of showing.

cook/bake together

soobin likes to cook/bake even though he is not the best at it. he tries. but he loves to cook/bake with you. especially if you are excellent cook. he feels like this is your love project together and also a fun activity on top of it. what's not the like?

be his equal

i don't think soobin would enjoy an obvious power imbalance in a relationship. of course there is some places he is better or worse than you but they balance each other out. and i mean this also in a way that no one in the relationship should hold the power, it would make him so uncomfortable.

get along with his friens

he is the introvert that has lots of friends for an unexplained and mysterious reason but he loves them and you so you getting along with them genuinely makes him happy. just like the one of the biggest hit there is: spice girls - wannabe. lyrics are just so soobin.

enjoy the things he enjoys

you get a joke he made and laugh at it, he is happy. you like the date idea he suggested and excited to do it, he is happy. you watch him play video games with his friends, he is happy.

basically he is happy to be understood and seen. many more examples can be given

not be boring

always stimulate his brain. play hard to get. (not too much tho) be cool in general. get his jokes. at least try to enjoy things he loves.

may seem a lot but he doesn't like the idea of being bored in general. (this i can relate) but it heavily influences his love life the most.

listen to his worries

beomgyu is also a human being. he needs nurtiring just like everyone else. no matter how small the problem is, show that you care. and also beomgyu deserves it. most people deserve this but beomgyu deserves it more than the rest.

be his star crossed lover

he wants to believe that it is more than his and your choice. he wants to believe that some powerful being or universe wants you to be together. call it soulmates, call it twinflame. doesn't matter. just be his true love.

validate him

he doesn't nor necessarily seek for validation from others,he does but not in the unhealthy way, but his s/o is a different story. so when you are proud of him, he is proud of himself. don't make him feel untalented or stupid or useless or someone who is trying or some- one who is not really nice.

open up to him

he feels uneasy with someone who doesn't share. it feels like you don't trust him. he talks about his problems, right? so why don't you. like i genuinely think he wants you to trauma dump. he wants to learn why you are the way you are.

be different

he doesn't want to commit to someone who is just like everyone else you can find on the street. maybe it is your style, maybe it is your personality, maybe it is your taste, maybe it is your dislike of pop culture... but don't be a poser and don't make this all of your personality.

take care of him when he is sick

idk why but i think tyun would show his vulnerability to his s/o but would also make sure that he has borders. but it changes when he is sick. he is a baby, okay? so take care of him!!!!!! (he lowkey likes the motherly/parental vibe you are giving, too)

let him take control

i am talking about your relationship. he likes independent people who take care of themselves but he would prefer leading the relationship. not in the toxic way i swear, he asks for your opinion of course.

kiss him a lot

some of you guys may know my taehyun the expert french kisser theory... and if you don't, here it is again. he is a expert french kisser. loves kissing so much. doesn't need to be mouth to mouth action. just kiss him or let him kiss you.

work out with him

i know some people make working out tyun's whole personality but i mean this in a way that be a part of his routine and also take care of yourself. two birds one stone, you know. he likes this activity so even you watching him do it is enough sometimes.

get along with his members and family

we all know hyuka doesn't let anyone to be in his life. he has his members and family. so if you are blessed enough to be in it, you should get along with them. he also values family so much. he seems to have very healthy relationships with his family and members so it is unavoidable that he wants his s/o to be part of it.

be a geek with him

i don't think hyuka is geek btw but he would love it when you play mario kart with him or watch batman the animated series with him. you know traditionally geeky stuff. also make commentary and jokes while engaging with the media. and react his commentary and jokes, too.

be nostalgic with him

this is why i think he would want someone his age or close to his age or older than him since they can experience his childhood memerioes. kinda related to the one above but if you enjoy the things he enjoyed when he was younger, that would make him happy.

cook for him

he would really appreciate this one. may want to help but the thoughtfulness of you makes his heart flutter. definitely loves your cooking even if you are not the best. also he may want to try different foods so when you cook something he wanted to try, he is in love. the experience is definitely better than a fancy restaurant.

beautify yourself

i am not saying fit in the beauty standart. i am saying be fashionable and confident. like if he likes your aesthetic, you are beautiful to him. so try to have your own style and aesthetic. if you put an effort, he would also put an effort. he likes to adorn himself for his s/o and expects you to do same.

a/n: i had this on my notes for so long. i am just glad that i finally got to share. i also tried to do moodboards. though i think i failed a little, it was fun to do it.

[robinhobiii]

only you | mafia! y. jh

summery : every one wants him. But he only wants one person.

He sighed for the millionth time today. He just wanted to leave. Too many people were trying to talk to him and it’s draining him. His eyes were slightly droopy but unbeknownst to him, it made him look more sultry like. Making more and more people attracted to him. His mysterious and slightly cold aura captures anyone coming his way.

“Jeonghan! There you are!” Another one of the socialites said as she waltz over to him. His face remained indifferent as she pushed up against him slightly.

“Let’s go somewhere else.” She whispered seductively.

God, he was really going to kill Seungcheol.

“Can’t, have work tomorrow.” He said courtly, trying to move away.

“Come on, hannie. It’ll only be for a little bit.” She pouted. He cringed at the name that disgraced her lips.

He pushed her slightly for her to land back on the other chairs and made his way out.

There’s only one woman that could call him hannie.

Y/n.

As he drove home, he remembers the memories with her. How brilliant her smile was and how shy she used to get at his flirty remarks. Her soft hands that would caress his face after a long day and how she would nurse him back to health after working for hours on end.

Oh, how much he misses her and how he longs for her warmth again.

Everything went well until she found out his real occupation. She gave him an ultimatum of leaving the mafia family or her. He obviously couldn’t choose. These were the things that made him happy. How could he only pick one? But in the end, she left. There was radio silence from her end.

Nothing.

She even moved work places and her apartment. If Jeonghan wasn’t in the mafia with a lot of connections, he would’ve never found her.

Her face remains engraved in his head. He wants to be in her arms again and hear her sweet nothings after a long day. It’s been harder these days to forget everything. It’s like the universe was taunting him with everything that reminds him of their time together.

. . .

To be fair, he didn’t want to be in the mafia family. He just wanted to make sure him and his sister didn’t die. His parents borrowed money from a different mafia family and they couldn’t pay it back. So his family was always on the run and wanted to essentially survive.

One day when Jeonghan was picking up his sister from school, his parents were brutally murdered. In that short 15 minutes of him picking up his sister, they died and couldn’t even plea to spare them. He received a phone call from the neighbor saying they heard loud screaming from his house. Sensing it could be bad, he dropped his sister at her friends house for the time being. He made his was home and saw the devastating sight. On the wall, written his parent’s blood, states that they need to get the remaining 50 million won by next Friday. He shuddered as he sat down on the couch. Although he was sad to see his parents like this, he couldn’t even shed a tear. At the ripe age of 18, he was now the sole guardian of his sister.

He needed to get out and get out fast. Where was he going to find that much money in a short amount of time? So, he knew what he had to do. And so he walked to the house at the very end of the street and knocked in strategic way to alert them. The door swung open and revealed a tall man with glasses.

“Wonwoo…”

“I’ve heard the gunshots.”

Jeonghan said nothing. “I’ll join.”

“What?” Wonwoo said, taken aback. “B-but, I thought you-“

“I have no choice. Me and my sister can’t keep running. We need him to protect us. He can avenge me and sister.”

He was the big boss, Choi Seunghyun, formally known as T.O.P. He was running the harshest and ever growing mafia family, Big Bang. The name Big Bang comes from the people that go out with a bang when nothing is paid back to them.

“Hyung, think it through. You’ll never be able to leave. I’ve been there for two years already and I made the biggest mistake.”

“I have to. For me and my sister.”

And so, Yoon Jeonghan was secretly sworn into the family and to build trust and a bond, TOP ordered his men to kill that mafia family that harassed Jeonghan and his family. Even he says it’s to build trust, it’s just something to emotionally blackmail Jeonghan to not leave.

By the time he was 20, a riot within the family was started. An internal war was far worse that the ones with someone else. “The family is not going to last any longer. We’re all going to die.” Joshua said.

“We need to leave and leave now. So many people already left.” Jihoon said.

“No.” Seungcheol said.

Everyone looked at him.

“We’ll start our own clan and be better than them. Most of us have no one waiting for us at home. For some of us, this is the only family we have.”

“But hyung-“

“There’s no buts. Trust me. I’ve been by Seunghyun’s side for the last 5 years, I know what to do. Just trust me.

And they did trust him. They became Seventeen, one of the most wanted group across world. With each members unique ability, the group prospered and because much bigger than imagined.

. . .

Because of the his charming looking and his ability to finesse anything in a conversation, Seungcheol made him one of their main undercover says to find informations.

That is how he met the beautiful woman that is Y/n. She worked as a journalist and would often spend her time at the cafe, across the street from her work place.

By fate, they met. They were there at the same place and at the same time. She caught his eye the moment his eyes landed on her. How focused she was on the paper she was writing and how she didn’t even look up. Everyone was flocking to get a glimpse of him, while her eyes remained on her laptop.

He smirked. How interesting.

He sat right in front of her and said, “Is this seat taken?”

Again she didn’t look up and mumbled out a no.

As he sipped his coffee, he looked at her. Everything about her was perfect to him. Is this what love at first sight was?

“You know staring is rude, right?” She finally said.

He was surprised for a second before that infamous smirk made its way to his face.

“I can’t help that a beautiful lady is sitting right in front of me.”

She blushed slightly.

“You’re weird.” She laughed.

God, he could hear that for the rest of his. Her laugh rang in his ears in the most beautiful way possible.

“Oh yeah? How so?”

“I need to leave.” She said with a smile as she picked up her stuff.

“You won’t tell me how I’m weird?”

“Maybe next time.”

Jeonghan smile widen as he hear that.

Next time. He couldn’t wait for it.

. . .

Soon enough, they were chatting at the cafe almost everyday. Jealous eyes scanned them as they were lost in their own world. She actually talked to him! He was starstruck by her and day by day he was falling deeper. Her small little habits never left out in Jeonghan’s mind.

After three months of talking, he knew he needed to make this official. She needed to be his. He took her to country side and showed her around the beautiful mountain village. She didn’t know this, but this was where Jeonghan grew up. But she loved every second of it. He finally took her to one of the nicer restaurant and asked her.

“Y/n. . I know that we’ve known each other for a short three months, but I feel like, I’ve known you my whole life. I just can’t imagine my life without you in my future. So, will you be my girlfriend?”

She smiled and leaped into his arms. “Of course! Don’t even have to ask.”

Soon enough, three years passed and Jeonghan was the happiest he has ever been. He never told her in those three years that he was in the mafia. He wanted to maintain her sweet innocence and not scare her away.

But that came to an end, when she was cleaning their shared home. She went to throw away the trash when she saw some files with Jeonghan’s name one them. So, she went to his office to put them on his desk, but she was shocked to his a gun and knives on his desk. She doesn’t know how long she was there, but she there for a while for Jeonghan to find her there. He couldn’t even come up with an explantation as to why there was a gun on his desk. He could’ve made an excuse for the knives but he knew he has to come clean about it to her.

“Hannie, what’s this?”

“Baby, let’s talk about this tomorrow”

“No! We’re talking about this right now. What is this?!”

“Angel. . . come with me.”

He took her to the other side of the room and sat her down on the couch. He sighed. “I’m . . . In the mafia. . and I know you’re confused but believe me when I say that I was going to tell you eventually when the time was right.” He was lying. He would’ve never ever told her. “I. . .wha-what?” She said.

He couldn’t read her face and was getting anxious. “Talk to me baby.”

“I. . . I’m heading to bed.”

She slept in the guest bed that night. Jeonghan couldn’t sleep as the bed felt too cold without her. Little did he know that this would be the last time she was ever be in the same house as him. The next morning rolled around and she was silent. But he had work to attend to. “I’m leaving, baby.” He leaned down to kiss her but she moved her head. He moved back in shock.

Later that night, when he came home, he noticed that she was thinking. He was nervous for what she’ll eventually say.

“Jeonghan.”

That sent shivered down his spine. In those three years, she only called him Jeonghan a handful amount of time. And each time he disliked it. “Yes.”

“I’m going to give you a choice. And you need to pick one.” She sighed. “Either you leave the mafia or . . leave me.”

There was silence after she said that.

“What?”

“You heard me.”

“Angel, you have to understand I can’t just pick o-“

“You have to! I can’t live with a man that kills for a living.”

“Listen to me-“

“JEONGHAN! JUST PICK ONE!”

It was silent again. Never does she ever raise her voice at anyone but she couldn’t help herself.

“Baby. . .” He started.

Suddenly his phone rang. He looked at her apologetically before he answered. It was Seungcheol.

“I need you to come to the office now!”

“Why? What’s wrong?!”

“Just come, it’s too long to explain but unit three is injured. We can’t get a hold of Soonyoung. That last response we got was from Chan at 10:56 pm. Come now.”

He rushed up but paused and look at her again.

“We’ll finish this when I get back.”

The door shut close and she got her answer. She scoffed slightly, “when I get back.”

She packed her things and called friends for help. They came and loaded somethings in their car and she packed some in her car well. She turned off her phone and made her way to her friends house.

By the time he came home, it was 6:42 am. She was no where to be seen. He called her phone and it went straight to voicemail. He was hysterical as he slipped to his knees. Yesterday night would mark the last day he sees her.

. . .

That was almost six months ago. It haunts him everyday. Oh how he regrets going out, but the other part would regret breaking the brotherhood that they created. Day by day, he yearns for her. His other members noticed him and tried to comfort him but he didn’t want comfort, he wanted . . no he needed her. Everyday passed by in a blur and he wanted that clarity again. When he met her, it felt as the all the problems in his world disappeared. He didn’t know how he lived without her before.

“Meeting in 5.” Jihoon reminded everyone in the common room. Slowly Jeonghan made his way to the conference room.

“The next month will be very busy, so pay attention, especially you Jeonghan.” Seungcheol started. Jeonghan just started tune everything out. He wanted to only live in his memories. Wanting to live in his make believe so that the harsh reality won’t make him cry more. Joshua got a glimpse of him slipping, so he elbowed him and that got Jeonghan out his daydream. He silently sighed.

“And Jeonghan will be there ahead of time to listen to everything.”

“Ugh, again.” He whined out, annoyed.

“Everyone sessionally wants a piece of you, so you’ll be going in.”

Jeonghan rolled his eyes at that. Not everyone wanted him.

. . .

His hooded eyes scanned the room to look make sure the target left so he could finally leave. Once he was sure, he made his way out. He stopped at a bar on his way home. Everyone’s eyes were on him. One drink turned into two drinks turned into three. Before he knew it, he was extremely drunk. He then heard a familiar laugh. He whipped his head to look for that comforting sound.

There she sat with all her beauty. Her beautiful lips up in a smile as she drank with her co-workers.

God, he wanted to leave before he did something stupid. As he made his way out, Y/n let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding. It hurt so bad seeing him get so drunk and she didn’t even help him. Although she tried to forget him, and hate him, she couldn’t. She did too much with him to forget that man. His love still linger through her.

She missed him so much. She wanted to run back into his arms, but she knew that if she did, she would invite the bad into her life. His karma will come to collect his debt and she doesn’t want to be in the middle of it.

“Go” Her supervisor said.

Y/n looked up at her and shook her head. “I can’t.” She said as a few tears escaped. “You clearly still love him and want him. You should try to work it out.” They knew she broke up him but not for him being in the mafia. No. She told them that it just didn’t work out anymore. They were obviously shocked and didn’t believe her but didn’t pry as she was in a bad state. “I think I’m going to head home.” Y/n said as she paid for her share.

. . .

He woke up with a pounding headache and almost had no memory from last night. He did remember seeing her. He could never forget her. Jeonghan was having regrets. Maybe he should’ve talk to her? No. That could’ve gotten ugly.

He went on with day as normal but he was thinking about her more than usual. He wanted to talk to her again. He knew that it’ll never happen and it’s only a distant memory. He made it to work and Seungcheol made his way to his office. “Jeonghan, tonight is the night, be ready.” He said.

That night came faster than expected. And all 13 boys made their way to the club. There was a set plan and by tonight there should be one less person on this earth. He made his way to bar and ordered a whiskey. And made his way to one of the sofas. Many girls tried their ways with him with no success. He was only there as an extra pair of eyes, so seducing these women for information was not needed. As some girl was kissing his jaw, he saw her. She was wearing a black dress that was beautifully complementing her body. Her shy eyes scanned through crowds of people, looking for someone. The more he looked at her, the more he wanted to next to her.

He pushed the girl softly and made his way to Y/n. She was facing away from him and he was a few feet from her. His hands naturally found their way to her waist. She was slightly startled and tried to push the hands away before he said, “It’s me, angel.” She was frozen and said nothing. He took this as a sign to continue. One of his hand came up and brushed her hair out of the way to get access to her neck. He placed gentle kisses along there and she let him. Soon her hands were placed on top of his.

“Let’s go somewhere else.” He whispered in her ears as he placed some kisses there as well. And they left the club and Jeonghan was driving them to his apartment. The car ride was silent but he didn’t mind. Just being in her presence was enough for him.

. . .

He opened the door for her and let her in. He then got a glass of water for her and him to drink. Once they were done, they only looked at each other. They both longed for this moment again. “Maybe this was a mistake. I should leave. ” She softly said.

“N-no! S-stay.”

He sighed and said, “Angel, I owe you an explanation. That night I left, I had an emergency. The boys were in trouble and I needed to ensure their safety. I know in that moment you must’ve felt unimportant. I should’ve sat you down and talked throughly that morning. I should’ve set it straight when I saw you that morning. And to answer your question. . . I can’t leave them. It’s a bond we built on hardship and trust. We are each other’s family. We can’t ever be apart. But I also didn’t want to leave you. When I came back, you were gone. I wanted to come to a compromise because you are the light in my life. I only want you to look at me. I just want you.”

She looked at him and didn’t know what to think. “I don’t want to live my life in fear that I’ll be killed. I want to live normally.” She said.

“You can. No one in the mafia world knows I’m even affiliated with seventeen. We can work it out.” He said as he held her hands.

“I . . I want it to work too but I’m too scared.”

“We can take it slow and figure everything out, like old time.”

She smiled at that. “Yeah, like old times.”

“Let’s head to bed and plan out everything tomorrow, hmm? How does that sound?” He said as he brushed her hair behind her ear.

“Sound perfect.”

. . .

He gave her some of his clothes for pajamas and boy did he miss that sight. She softly smiled at him and made her way to bed. When she was comfortable, Jeonghan joined after turning off all the lights. He hugged her and placed a kiss on her head.

“We’ll be okay.” He whispered.

[thegoldheartlocketandkey-blog]

It’s been made pretty clear by the fandom, not just Buddie Shippers, that we aren’t really fans of who Buck and Eddie end up with in the finale.

The biggest issue I have with the pairings is that they weren’t worked up, they kind of just showed up and we have no reason to care about them.

If these women are supposed to be endgame, at least give us ample reason to support the choice.

Natalia: They really screwed up her character because there was so much potential in making her interesting and someone we would like to get to know. She’s a death dula and Buck died. Instead of having her tell Buck that it’s so “cool” that he died they could of had her play an active role in having him process his death. I mean they still have the opportunity to do that but after they gave us a cringe date, a recycled story line, but with less depth, they gave us too many reasons to dislike her as a character for me to even see that play out.

They made the same mistake they made with Lucy. Instead of having Natalia be a friend to Buck they force her to be a love interest which adds nothing new to bucks character.

But imagine Buck’s character development if Natalia was a friend. He would have gone from Buck 1.0 ( The guy who only does hook ups), to Buck 2.0 (the guy who just ends up in relationships) to Buck 3.0 (the guy who chooses himself and is able to be friends with a woman).

We can also address the fact that there is a lack of chemistry between Buck and Natalia. The kiss in the finale was awkward and not in a cute endearing way. I will say, I love that she doesn’t look like she could be related to Buck. I’m willing to see their relationship play out during season 7, but I just can’t see it being the end game.

Marisol: Where did she come from. What do you mean this is the girl that has Eddie acting like a middle schooler. She came out of nowhere and we know almost nothing about her, besides the fact that she fixes her brother’s mistakes.

I rewatched Season 6, Episode 5: Home Invasion, where we are first introduced to Marisol and after watching the episode, I believe the fan theory that her brother’s rescue was originally written as a boyfriend being rescued. But after the scenes where already filmed, the writers decided she’d be the love interest so they re-recorded the audio of the scene. I’m serious go back and watch her emergency, there is something off about it.

Marisol to me feels like another Ana. No substance, no reason for me to care about her. They both barely interacted, so their phone call makes less sense the more you think about it.

The same episode where Eddie is told he can’t look for love, he finds what he’s “been looking for”. This feels like Eddie is again only doing what he thinks he is supposed to do. Instead of processing his feelings of loneliness, he’s doing what he thinks the world expects him to do and date someone. He married Shannon because he felt like he had to. He stayed with Ana because he thought it was best for Christopher. And he’s settling for Marisol because he doesn’t want to be alone. None of those reasons are good reasons to pursue someone for a serious relationship.

It’s one thing to have Eddie date because he wants to be outside his comfort zone, meet people, and have fun. It’s a completely other thing to have him date because he feels like he needs to.

The only way to make Marisol a good character is by having her be a person that helps Eddie figure that out. She helps him realize that it’s not just about the end game, but his ability to just enjoy her company and not so worried about what the end result. She can just be someone he dates because she was fun to date. A relationship that shows him that you can have someone be an important part of your journey, but not your end game. Like a summer fling.

Given the fact that the actress who plays Marisol recently reposted a transphobic meme and couldn’t even attempt a sincere apology, I hope we don’t get to see her at all in season 7. She can be explained away by Eddie mentioning her once and just saying it felt promising but she just wasn’t the one. I have no interest in see their relationship play out.

Buddie: In my opinion, the best match for Buck and Eddie will always be each other. The writers have their relationship set up as the perfect slow burn, friends to lover scenario. And even though they screwed up the finale a bit, they can easily correct their wrongs. Buck and Eddie’s chemistry is undeniable and having them end up together would play into their individual story lines so perfectly.

I need this relationship that has developed organically to flourish in Season 7.

I will continue to manifest Buddie and let me use this moment to state couch theory is not dead. Buck will just need to get rid of another couch.

[skellys-selfships]

i've got a new crush and need to feed the fellow shark simps-

Chazwick Thurman x Reader relationship hc's (suggestive themes etc)

• Chaz is definitely the first one to make a move on you, he's not subtle about his feelings even if he tried to be

• PDA is his THING, he's gonna let everyone know that you're his, he's not letting go of your hand, he'll be kissing your forehead, cheeks, and hands at any chance he gets, sometimes reaching around to give your rear a playful slap

• he has zero shame, sometimes he'll be at your door in the dead of night in attempts to "serenade" you.....with the most sexually charged songs he could think of. the entire neighborhood hears it. good luck :)

• his lack of shame + undefeatable confidence rubs off on you in ways you never knew you needed

• don't be too hard yourself, you're his babe and he wouldn't choose less than perfect

• he's extremely funny and loud, what most see as obnoxious, makes you right at home with your own immature sense of humor, let loose, he enjoys it

• if you're goth?? if you're good at video games? he's DEFINITELY showing you off to all his social media followers because that's a win in his book, he goes nuts for the goths

• please let him win if you ever play video games with him, he's an ugly crier

• he takes fucking hours styling his hair every morning, he takes his hair very seriously

• he really wants to style your hair, especially if yours is longer or messy, he really could've been a hairdresser....

• he cannot fathom ever shutting up and really appreciates your patience, not that he openly says it, but he shows his appreciation in different ways ;) if you can keep up with how much he talks, he feels very special

• it's hard for him to take NO for an answer and is a massive baby if you deny him anything but quite frankly, it's adorable

• he's not the brightest bulb so be understanding he doesn't really pick up on big words or more technical things

• he really loves taking you out, especially to clubs and movies

• his biggest weakness is praise, if you compliment his hair or his tail in any way, he's all over you in an instant

• his tail is where he likes to cuddle with you the most after your guys' "fun time", his tail is strong and very smooth, wrapping it around you and holding you close becomes normal behavior quite quickly

• he snores and talks in his sleep a lot. A REAL LOT, but most of what he says is about you

• he hypes up how sexy his "battle scars" a lot but in reality he hates his scars, it means a lot when you reassure him that they look hot, or you kiss the scar on his face

• he assigns you MANY nicknames, the usual cutesy petnames and some....many could cringe at

• 1000% the type of man to call you his little "discord kitten" 💀💀💀

• he unashamedly will send you tik toks of him dancing to really cheesy love songs

• if he sees you wearing his clothes he's instantly all worked up, you look great in his clothes

• you may touch his hair.....but don't mess it up, if you do he pouts like a lost puppy

• he sings you all your favorite songs any time he has the chance

• don't call your parents in the same room as him, he'll walk up behind you and start making the loudest sexual noises right near the phone and burst out laughing his ass off

• he praises you from beginning to end, you're his pride and he sees the two of you as unstoppable

• his attention span his short, if you're trying to include him in your interests and he zones out, he's not uninterested at all, he just loses focus easily

• he cries really loud and messy at any kinda sad part of any movie you guys watch together, even if it's cheesy

• he buys you so many gifts, cute clothes especially, he loves spoiling his babe

• he has his moments of trying to be romantic but usually interrupts it with a really bad one liner

enjoy shark lovers <3 i'm trying to get back into writing and this himbo is FUELING ME

[sashi-ya]

𝐒𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐁𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 [+18] 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐟𝐚𝐥𝐠𝐚𝐫 𝐥𝐚𝐰 𝐱 𝐟! 𝐩𝐫𝐨 𝐜𝐨𝐬𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐲𝐞𝐫! 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 [chapter one] ʚ masterlist

ʚ synopsis ɞ reader enjoys cosplaying, slowly but surely she became more and more noticed by the community. However, from exposure also comes dangers. Thankfully, a modern knight will be there to protect a modern princess. Will they protegonize a cute fairy tale? or will be a tale full of dragons to defeat?

ʚ tw ɞ MDNI. not the sweetest story (yet). SEXUAL ABUSE INTENT (she is fine and safe). usage of drugs. medical terminology and treatment. I wanted to have the opportunity to spread some awarness about certain topics; being in danger is -unfortunatelly- something common nowadays when you are a woman or part of any minority, therefore having information to avoid those dangers seems absolutely necessary. So you will find some bits and pieces of information inside the story. If you need any type of support regarding these topics, please contact with someone who can help you. I am here to help you as a nurse and a woman.

ʚ masterlist: part 2, part 3 part 4; part 5; final

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟏: 𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐢��𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧

He wasn’t very fond of conventions. Since Sora the Warrior of the Sea had ended, he didn’t enjoy the crowded space of geeky events. But his friends, did.

“You owe me one” Law grunts, as he clenches his tattooed hands to the steering wheel. They are absolutely stuck in traffic, the line to get to the convention centre parking seems endless.

“Captain!! Don’t get mad at us!” Penguin, one of his best friends, chime. The rest of the “crew” echoes him, giggling and full of good vibes.

“Do not call me captain, Pen… I- we were kids!” Law grunts feeling his cheeks turn red; he cringes every time he is called “captain”. Yet, deep inside his heart, the word reminds him of whenever there were no worries, and they would pass their free days playing “pirates”.

Half an hour later, and having listened to Uta’s song thrice, they finally find a spot to park. Soon, as they do, Bepo jumps off Law’s yellow SUV urging Shachi to help him fix his cosplay.

Bepo, the man of pristine white spiky hair and everlasting blushed cheeks, has taken a liking into dressing up as his favourite characters from books and anime. And so, his friends, are there to support him no matter what.

As they walk towards the entrance of the biggest hotel they ever been to, they hear some commotion approaching them. Like a violent gust of wind, a bunch of photographers and fans pass, pushing them to the side, completely unaware of their presence.

“What the fuck?” Law grunts, annoyed. -even more. “SHE- LOOK…!” Penguin and Shachi gawk at the beautiful angel walking through the entrance of the conference room. “It’s Princess Uta!!”

Law rolls his eyes. He seems to be over with those new idols, and, not to mention those who also cosplay. He considers that they are a bunch of “kids”, immature and annoying. Truth is, that deep inside of him, things weren’t like this that much.

“Come on, I don’t care who she is we should get going. Bepo, you will be missing the cosplayers alley… didn’t you tell us you wanted to meet someone in particular?”

The white-haired boy, with the cute expression of a polar bear, widens his eyes. His friend is right, he wanted to meet some beautiful cosplayers there.

The four friends begin to walk inside, avoiding a bunch of screaming teenagers -and not so young ones-. It’s hard to breathe, the place is packed with people buying stuff, taking pictures, or simply hanging out.

“Tch… all these people…” Law grunts; the more people around, the more he feels overstimulated. He hates loud noises, and the crowd around isn’t helping. However, despite his annoyed countenance, some merch catches his attention here and there. Deep inside, Law is still a nerd.

Many people pass by, scanning his façade that hides beneath a white dotted cap. His icy eyes couldn’t care a less; no woman receives a reciprocated smile, nor even a look. Law is above all things; he is not interested in finding love in a place like this.

In between many heads and fake swords made of cardboard, the banner that announces the start of the “cosplay alley” stands out. Law, who has noticed it before than anybody else, sighs. “Bepo… there” he points out, with his E inked index.

Desperate squeaks from Penguin and Shachi accompanies the excitement Bepo shows. The first two, run towards the place. Yet Bepo, stays right by Law’s side. They walk calmly; or at least that’s just Law, because his snowy haired friend seems to be consumed by the flame of anxiety.

“It’s just some guys dressed in weird clothes, Bepo. You are as great as them” Law spits, as if he didn’t understand the meaning of social anxiety.

“I know, Captain… but- you know…” Bepo fidgets his furred gloved hands; the character that he is cosplaying is some kind of hybrid in between a human and a polar bear.

Law looks at him, and reassures him with a soft smirk that’s barely noticeable for the rest of the world… but for his brother? It’s enough to feel encouraged.

The tables where many girls and boys are sitting, are all packed with people taking pictures with them, buying prints of their cosplay photos and some -like Penguin and Shachi- are simping. Some of the women are wearing pretty revealing costumes; other, show amazing props like their proudest treasures.

And the one that Bepo went to meet, was calmly taking some pictures with a red-haired little girl. She was dressed as a princess, or perhaps it was a warrior… no, she must be an angel…

“Captain, there she is! I wanted to take a picture with her since forever!” Bepo fans over the kind looking woman, smiling so sweetly to not so many people around like the rest of the cosplayers.

Law stands right there, getting pushed by many people as they pass and want to take pictures. He is just blinking slowly; never, in a million of years he has lost contact with reality just by looking at a woman… but it was happening, and soon the approaching rest of the “crew” noticed…

…

“Hi! A photo? Of course!” you chimed, happy to be reached by young kids willing to follow your steps in the cosplay career.

As you fleet goodbye the last kid, you notice some young men staring at you. One of them, particularly handsome, covered in tattoos, has a soft pinkish blush taking over his cheeks and seems to be frozen in time with no signs of even blinking whatsoever.

You think if he is ok. But soon you roll your eyes; surely he is watching at any other cosplayer looking bomb as all of them�� he is probably another pervert.

Yet, you couldn’t be more wrong.

The white-haired guy by his side gets pushed to your booth by the other friends. He is wearing a cosplay that coincidentally share anime with yours. You smile, he is just timid.

“Hi… (Name). I’m- I am a fan of your work!” he shily says, when reaches your table. You smile, sweetly. This guy has never done anything wrong in his entire life.

You bow your head in gratefulness, standing up to get ready for yet another photo. “Thank you so much! What’s your name?” you ask, chiming and inspecting the amazing details of his costume. It seems made entirely by hand, and it couldn’t be more pretty.

“I’m Bepo!” he kinda screams, taking his hand to his forehead as if he was some kind of military or marine.

It makes you giggle, but soon the moment gets interrupted when the other two of them pull the frozen handsome guy with them to meet you.

“Hi! He is Penguin. And he is Law. Forgive him, I don’t know exactly what happened to his brain, but he wants to take a picture with you” a red-haired man with a funny looking hat says, pointing at the tattooed one.

That might have been the needed slap to wake him up. “NO!” he awkwardly screams, making you laugh.

He takes a look at you from the side, with sharp eyes that are pretty scary to look at. And it is enough to make you stop giggling. “I’m sorry ~” you whisper, looking down almost immediately.

“Captain!” the one that was introduced as Penguin scolds them, and the smile returns to your face. Why are they calling him captain?

“I’m sorry… I- I didn’t mean to scream at you” he stutters, looking now with that same hateful stare at his friend who takes two steps back.

You bite the insides of your mouth. He is way more handsome when he speaks, a raspier voice, low and sensual, that makes you kinda weak.

“Don’t worry. I get I look a little bit intimidating with this costume on!” you joke, taking a huge replica of a sword from the table and showing it to him. It’s almost as tall as he is, with a furry tsuba and golden details on its tsuka.

The man covered in tattoos look at the sword, and then at your eyes. You spend what feels like eternal seconds getting lost in them. He is something special.

Handing him the prop, your fingers delicately graze, and you discover how soft are his. He either never worked in his life or is some kind of surgeon.

He inspects the sword, amazed at the details. Bepo, while he does so, finally takes the picture he wanted to with you. And soon, the encounter has to inevitably come to an end.

All of them wave goodbye to you, but, you aren’t willing to let the man of frozen eyes go without learning his name.

“Bepo! If you post the picture we took together, please, tag me! I will love to follow your Instagram account” you chime, waving back at them. “You are an amazing cosplayer, we should team up someday!”

The white-haired boy has almost a stroke from your words; and you can only hope for his friend to also have an account…

You sit back for some minutes while more people come to your booth, and while you curl a lock of your wig you can stop thinking about him. “What a handsome guy…” you giggle, noticing your cheeks get hot as hell itself.

Sometimes, throughout the day, you take a look around. You wish you could see him again, but unfortunately you can’t get a glimpse of him.

Your thoughts, however, right an hour before the day of the con is over, get interrupted by a guy asking you something.

“Excuse me, I’m a photographer. You can see my portfolio if you scan my QR code. I would like to offer you a photoshoot for free” he kindly says, looking like the respectful man you’ve ever met. Besides, he has something attached to his cheek, something like a sweet? Did he seriously not noticed?

You aren’t fully trustful of him; you know some men, specially in your ambience aren’t exactly the best so you proceed with care.

“I… I really appreciate the offering. I would love to collab with you, but you see it’s been a long day” you try to decline, respectfully. It’s true that you are a little bit tired, but it was the fact that you had went alone to the event this time. Nobody could keep you company during the first day of the convention.

The man insists; he shows the pictures of his work, and they look awesome. “We wont go any further, I think right there will be enough for the pics to look amazing!” he chimes. You think twice, but since he didn’t request for you to go outside or far away you finally accept.

As you start packing up your staff, the photographer offers himself to help you. You are really happy someone is giving you a hand, and you kind of feel guilty for mistrusting him before.

When you crunch to pick up your bag you notice a little charm on the floor; a polar bear plushie lays almost forgotten under the table’s booth. “Oh… someone might have lost it! I will keep it and see if anyone comes back and asks for it” you think, clasping it to your bag.

 And soon when you are set to fleet, off both of you go.

Walking through the now almost empty halls, you get some chills running through your spine. Is not the first time you see the con’s alley deserted, but you usually end your day now and go back to your hotel. You shake the feeling and get distracted with the man by your side offering you a something.  

“(Name), bet you haven’t got anything to drink in many hours. Please, drink some water. You gotta stay hydrated” he says, with a smile that’s difficult to read. The bottle is closed, so you thankfully accept it.

Once you have finally reached the now solitaire photo set, specially adapted for the convention, you take a big gulp of water. It feels refreshing; you honestly needed it. You were taught to never accept anything edible nor drinkable from the people that come to see you at events, but since it the bottle was clearly new, you didn’t give much importance to the dangers.

When the camera is set, the man calls you to stand and pose in front of him. At first, things went smoothly. But then, everything changed…

“You should lower the cleavage a little” he suggested.

“I…” you stutter, fixing the collar of your dress. Perhaps it was too high and it wasn’t looking good.

“More, honey! You should show a little bit more skin. That will attract more followers!” he insists, pointing the camera towards your chest.

“No. I don’t feel comfortable!” you straightforwardly deny. You want to stop, but you begin to feel your ears buzzing, and the flashing lights of the camera become almost unbearable to look at. You try to look at your sides for help, discovering there is nobody around and the guy coming closer and closer.

The bastard laughs, grabbing your arms and whispering things you can barely understand. “Don’t get all worked up, honey… you shouldn’t drink stuff people give you… now, cooperate with me…”

You try to let go of him, scared of what he could do to you, unable to scream or even kick him away. Yet, there is always a glimpse of hope in everything...

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ“Get the fuck away from her!”

continues in ➡ chapter 2

[isleofair]

9 people you'd like to get to know better

I was tagged by @realmoftenderness: thank you so much! 😍🩷 Apparently this has evolved lately, and I love this new version 😁

3 non romantic duos

1 - Pao-Lin and Nathan

AKA the Tiger & Bunny Gender Team. Their dynamic is impeccable: Pao-Lin as the kid who's trying to work with a gender that doesn't fit quite right, and Nathan as the established queer adult who shows her, even just by being there, that the possibilities of who you can be are endless. And yet, not only do they have a peer-to-peer friendship and equal respect for each other as heroes; but when Nathan, who seems so strong and solid in who they are, is actually made vulnerable by all the hurt she's experienced because of her queerness, Pao-Lin is the one who saves her, by pointing out just how wonderful Nathan is because of their different, unique identity.

I have so many feelings about them, and I wish the show had let them interact with each other and explore their shared themes and experiences way more than it did. Luckily, as you can see above, we have Ueda and Yoshida's manga firmly on our side. 💛💖

2 - Data and Geordie

Data was possibly my first main Blorbo, decades before the word Blorbo came to be. And his friendship with Geordie, while being one of the main tenets of both their characters, still, IMO, never got all the credit it deserved; particularly in regard to Geordie's feelings about the many, many time we (almost and then not almost 😭) lose Data, when other people's reactions are often put more in the forefront. Part of that was due to Geordie's status as a more secondary character, sure; but in part it was, perhaps, by virtue of their relationship's own nature. Their frendship is already established; it is more obvious and natural than the laws of physics the Enterprise keeps bending on its adventures; it simply, well, is. The other characters had to learn to understand and love Data; Geordie, apparently, simply accepted him and loved him before the very start. (Insert heavy-handed symbolism here about the blind character easily seeing past someone's surface; the show sure never shied away from it.) And this meant... a lot to me. 💛

(I have not yet seen the last season of Picard, but a glimpse of a headline makes me think I might need to say: please, no spoilers?)

3 - The Doctor and Donna

(Spoilers for the 60th Anniversary specials here, turn away if you need to. They're only one year old, after all. 😅)

You know that post that says these two are the biggest win ever for fictional queerplatonic relationships? (This one, btw.) Yeah, all of that and then more. Donna doesn't give the Doctor heart-eyes, she does not follow him blindly; she yells at him, throws things at his head, and then runs not behind him, but right at his side, with her eyes firmly wide open. The Doctor calls her the most important woman in the whole wide universe, and he means it. At one point, they become one single being, and it is glorious. They would have gone on together forever; them having to lose each other broke me (and probably them) far more than all the other separations in the show could. 💔

Imagine, then, my utter, endless delight when, after almost fourteen years, the 60th Anniversary specials not only reunited these two, but actually gave them a fully happy ending in which the Doctor (well, Tennant's version, anyway) joins Donna's amazing family, parks his TARDIS in their backyard, and just hangs out with them forever and ever, amen (shut up, time is all just wibbly-wobbly stuff, in the end). 💖💖💖

A ship that might surprise others

I'll be honest: I sat here for literally hours trying to think of a ship of mine that might be surprising (and that wasn't, like, stuff from 20 or more years ago that is really too cringe for me to want to bring it up now). I usually like pretty obvious ships, with the gamut of my tastes mostly running along the incredibly wide spectrum of "fluffy friends to lovers" to "snarky friends to lovers". 😅

So in the end I decided to go with something that has actually caused surprise to several people before, not so much because of the ship, but because I even knew about the show at all: Ray/Fraser in Due South 😂 (Apparently Canadians think that only Canadians know this show? But a) Italian TV will air almost anything, and b) the language of classic slash shows is universal. 😁)

Okay, maybe you might be surprised to know that the answer to "but which Ray, though?!?" is actually "Both". I am not a veteran of the Ray Wars; I existed in my little safe corner of "I discovered this fandom a couple of years after the show finished airing, and I just chilled at the edges of it, watching bootleg VHS tapes and reading fic on LiveJournal".

(You can't tell me that Fraser wasn't madly in love with both of them, anyway. It's just fact, as far as I'm concerned.)

Last song: Nightingale by Demi Lovato.

Last film: Pretty sure it was Onward, which I watched with my siblings and enjoyed a fair bit (which was definitely helped by the fact that I did not see/recognize who was voicing Barley until the movie was over).

Currently reading: I just finished (re-)reading Kimi Ni Todoke and it's as utterly sweet and delightful as I remembered. (I do not think I got to chapter 63 on my original readthrough, though, because I did NOT remember it also shattering my heart like that. 😭)

Currently watching: The Ranma 1/2 remake.

Currently consuming: Nothing. I should probably have some dinner.

Currently craving: a lot of extra energy to work on my T&B Secret Santa and the Advent Calendar! 💪💚

I am tagging (with zero pressure, as always!) @nicoroni, @imaginatorofthings, @seaofolives, @youngerfrankenstein, @hearjessroar, @zimithrus, @saltedpin, @thekuraning, @horikoshi-secret-ao3-account, and anyone else who would like to play! 😁🩷

[otomiyaa]

Ittorou Miss Hina fic reupload? 🥺

Ms. Hina's Advice

Gorou x Itto

[Fic Reupload] - There you go! At least, I hope you mean this one because I think I remember writing another fic with Ittorou ft. Ms. Hina ^^ But this one seemed to be the obvious choice! (Also on AO3)

Word Count: 1.7K

Making his way downtown, walking fast, walking faster ー Gorou did not know how much faster he should walk, but it was already too late. Of course his tail was hard to miss, as were his ears. And of course Itto would already spot him from that far, with crowds between them.

“GOROUUUU!” 

Gorou could hear the loud familiar voice call out behind him, followed by a sea of apologies, soft and subtle “Sorry! Coming through!” as Itto pushed his huge body past many people to reach Gorou.

Ah, great. There he was again. For some reason, lately it was always like this. Did Itto find this magical way to track him everywhere he went? Gorou had a hard time handling Itto’s energy, but above all, there was one other reason why he didn’t like hanging out with him.

“Gorou, stop walking so fast! Ms. Hina says it is bad to rush and you should slow down for a more peaceful set of mind!”

THAT. Gorou could feel his cheeks heat up and he cringed so badly at his very own words. Damn Yae Miko. Damn her and the Ms. Hina thing. As if it wasn’t bad enough that he landed his unfortunate butt into Yae Publishing House business, it brought the non-existent Ms. Hina character to life and brought him his personal biggest fan as a bonus: Arataki Itto.

Not that Itto realized Gorou was actually the writer behind those advices, which was something Gorou would never admit to him either. After having mentioned that Gorou did look like Ms. Hina -- which sparked their meeting in the first place, Itto seemed to be more keen about bothering Gorou with the very own advices he had written.

Gorou groaned. "I'm not rushing, I am just busy.” 

“It's also not good to just be too busy all the time! You should take a break, I can join you!” Itto said, chasing after him for absolutely no reason at all.

“No! No need,” Gorou said. Still, somehow he did end up taking a break with Itto by his side, after failing to shrug him off even as he exited the city. The two of them sat on the beach near the water, and he sighed, accepting the lollipop that Itto had fetched on their way, and he tasted it. Hm. Not bad.

“Heh! Feels nice to take a break, doesn’t it?” Itto sighed. Gorou rolled his eyes.

“Just why are you following me around anyway?” he asked, enjoying the lollipop. Itto looked at him and shrugged.

“I don’t know. You’re nice company! I like you,” Itto said bluntly, causing Gorou to almost choke, and he coughed softly. 

“I see... I see,” he muttered shyly, wondering why those silly words made him feel like this. Itto chuckled and sucked on his lollipop, looking dreamily ahead of him. 

“I know you said you don’t know her, but I can’t stop thinking about Ms. Hina and the words she wrote to me. Ever since I started writing to That’s Life, and heard her words of advice and encouragement, I’ve become a better man,” he said, chomping off the final bits of his lollipop. 

Gorou wanted to groan. Why again Ms. Hina talk! This had to be his curse for fooling people like this with a false persona, a curse directed at the wrong person because this wouldn’t be happening if it wasn’t for Yae Miko!

It all started with her forcing him into this situation, where under the alias of Ms. Hina - an alias that was not even created with his approval, he would run a column for her popular magazine, in which he would offer advice and support to readers, helping them in their times of need.

How could he have known the columns would gain so much popularity, and attract so many fans? With gang leader Arataki Itto being his biggest fan? Gorou could. not. believe. it. And he was already thankful that Itto did not seem to suspect anything about his identity, but it seemed that there were other ways to be punished and tortured, such as Itto following him around and reciting every bit of advice Gorou himself had written for him. Talk about embarrassing.

“What are you frowning for? Hey, cheer up! Today is a sunny day!” Itto said, suddenly poking Gorou’s side, making him shriek like a cat whose tail got stepped on. 

“Ho! Ticklish? Heehee, Sorry. Oh but that’s good! Ms. Hina also says you should laugh out loud at least once a day! I am ticklish too, we can make each other laugh! I can go first?” Itto said, spreading his arms. Gorou was too busy being flustered though, bending forward and hugging his tail defensively.

“I’m not ticklish, and I don’t wanna lau-GHhAHhahah!” he giggled when he could feel how thick fingers started to poke his sides. 

“Oh alright then. I don’t mind if you want to go first! Laughing is healthy. Even if there’s nothing to laugh about, it’s good to let it all go,” Itto lectured, and suddenly he was all over Gorou, his fingers wiggling against his sides. Worst of all was that Gorou remembered writing all these exact same words. This really was his way of getting cursed! 

“Pfffahahah! Hehehey!” Gorou laughed, and he tried to jump away in surprise, but Itto held him tightly and pinned him down in the sand. 

“Theeeere is that laugh! This is nice. Ticklish people are made to get tickled,” Itto said matter-of-factly. 

“You’re crahahahazehehe-aahahha!” 

Gorou couldn’t remember the last time he got tickled like this, but definitely didn’t remember it could make him cackle and snort like he was doing right now. His own lollipop lay miserably to the side where he had dropped it in the sand, and he still had his arms wrapped around his middle which was his automatic reflex that did not help him at all.

“Heehehehee Ittahaha! Waha-wai-wahahait!” He kicked his legs and shook his head hysterically, and he howled when Itto started to pull at his arms, trying to uncover his tummy.

“Plehehease not thehehere!” Gorou giggled. Itto had only tickled his sides so far and he did not want to know what it was going to be like if his tummy would get the same treatment. Itto was too excited though, and he continued to try to pry Gorou’s arms away.

“Just for a little! I promise that after I’m done, you can tickle me!” It did not make things better, but Gorou’s strength failed him too as Itto finally managed to break through his barrier to tickle his stomach. The ticklishness he felt was absolutely insane, and truly he couldn’t remember ever laughing this loud.

“AHahah! Hahahang on nahahaah! Wahahah!” His hands desperately chased after Itto’s fingers, but the ticklish shocks surged through his body and in the end all he could do was laugh. 

“Whew! That was so cute,” Itto said when he finally lifted his wiggly fingers off Gorou’s shuddering body. Gasping for breath, Gorou clutched his chest and couldn’t help but still giggle.

“Y-you’re ー uneblievable,” he panted.

Itto took it as a compliment and said, “I know right? Feels good right? You know, you actually have Ms. Hina to thank for this. She is right. It’s good to laugh everyday, so even if nothing funny is happening, it can be done through tickling. We are blessed to be ticklish, it is a like a gift from the Archons,” Itto said. Gorou blushed and clutched his chest tighter, trying to calm down his racing heart. 

“Well? Are you not going to tickle me?” Itto said, spreading his arms. Gorou blushed. How was he supposed to...? All his eyes could focus on was that bare skin he was too shy to touch. 

“I surely can’t tickle myself,” Itto said impatiently. Gorou knew that. He shyly reached out and started to poke Itto’s lower side.

“Heehee!” That was fast. Gorou hesitated and looked at Itto who was smiling like an idiot.

“Do it again,” Itto encouraged. Gorou rolled his eyes and started to tickle him with more determination. It was hilarious how Itto flopped back, laughing like a child. 

“That tihihihickleeees!” It felt as if he was exaggerating, but the moment Gorou started to feel less shy and actually dared to climb on top of him so he could attack him with fierce tickles as a payback for all that nonsense, it sounded absolutely genuine. Itto was indeed very ticklish.

“Hahahahaha! Ohohoho feheheels gohoood to lahahaugh!” Fortunately no one was out fishing today or hanging around at the same place, because it must’ve been the strangest sight.

“Yeah? Ready to give up yet?” Gorou asked, wishing to tickle Itto at least until he would surrender, but seemed like this ridiculous oni had no such plans. He shook his head and laughed freely.

 “Keeeheheeep goiihihing!” he laughed. Gorou couldn’t believe it when in the end, he was the first one to stop the tickle attack, he was too flustered to continue. Luckily Itto didn’t persuade him to tickle him further, and he rolled onto his side and watched him with a smile.

“Thank you, Ms. Hina,” he sighed with a smile. Gorou blushed and gasped. “Wha?!” he yelped. 

Itto shook his head. “I was just feeling thankful towards Ms. Hina. Thanks to her advice, I got to have this tickle fight with you. Who would’ve thought? It’s crazy,” Itto said dreamily. 

It was indeed crazy, Gorou thought.

“So, tomorrow again?” Itto suggested. Gorou frowned, but Itto continued: “Like Ms. Hina said, laughter is good for you at least once a day. I think this is my favorite way to laugh. Just a good old tickle fight, and I can do it to you as well,” Itto said, poking Gorou’s side and making him squeak.

“J-just... no! Ms. Hina is wrong,” Gorou protested with a blush on his face, but this earned him to have a vengeful oni pounce on him.

“Whaaat did you say?!” Itto roared as he started tickling Gorou again. 

“NAhaahah I sahahaid she’s wrohohong! GAahahah!” And thus continued Gorou’s apparent mission to dig his own grave. 

Then again, something inside him told him he didn’t mind that much to spend so much time with Itto, and now that he seemed to have this new mission to include lots of laughter in their meetings, he couldn’t help but feel warm and fuzzy. 

Maybe his advice ー er, Ms. Hina’s advice wasn’t so bad after all. He smiled. Indeed, in the end he really had himself to thank for this... Himself, a wicked fox, and an oblivious, crazy and adorable oni... Eh, did Gorou just think that? No. No he didn't. He would never.

[o7k5a8m9i]

~♡Perfect Little Family ♤~ Hisomachi

{Recap!🧵🃏 Machi finds out she's pregnant and the father is Hisoka. now He's asked who the father is, what will the outcome be!..} ⚠️You Must read the other chapters before this one to Understand what's going on!⚠️⬇️⬇️⬇️ here's the second latest chapter^^

Chapter 3: ~Father~🧵🃏

[Machi just gave him the hardest stare. looking into his soul as if saying "It's you" Hisoka picked up on this then spoke again]

Hisoka: I..is it me?~...(*his smile widen's a bit*)

Machi: .... (*sighs*)...yes... it's you dumbass...

[Hisoka's smiles the biggest Machi's every seen. tears form at the end of his eyes]

Hisoka: Oh my God.... really!?~ I can't believe it!! my lovely Machi is pregnant!~ but not just pregnant with any baby but My baby!~^^

[although Machi'd really like to tell him off right about now... she couldn't. she saw how happy he was and it even filled her with happiness. a very small bit. but it was still there]

Machi: yup...I guess I am...(*very small smile*)

Hisoka: so when did you find out?~

Machi: a week and a half ago

Hisoka: Oh wow... I'm gonna be father~ I never thought of the possiblity of that but oh to hell with it! I'll have a child to take care of a real child my child...our child~^^

[as far as Machi knows this is the happiest she's ever seen him. well as far as genuine happiness]

Machi: y... yeah..I never really thought about it either

Hisoka: well...this is all assuming you keep the baby...

[a bit of sadness filled his voice. and a bit of sadness rush's over Machi. thinking about aborting the baby. she hasn't really thought about it till now]

Machi: ...look I don't know yet I wanted to talk to you about it first...

Hisoka: Oh well a appreciate that~^^

Machi: so what do you want. for me to keep it or not...

Hisoka: well I think it should be up to you~ but if it was up to me I'd like if you keep it~

Machi: ok... I'll ask Dancho about it later...

Hisoka: Chrollo doesn't know yet?~ (*A bit of a smirk on his face*) I guess I was the first person you told~

Machi: Shut up!! it doesn't really matter!.. I told you cuz you're the damn father!..

Hisoka: Oh yes yes~ am I really the father though?~

Machi:How many times do I have to say it! your the damn dad!

Hisoka: Oh⭐—_— 💧well...how do you know?~

Machi: look I KNOW ok!?/// (*blushs a TINY bit*)

Hisoka: ok ok fine~

[Machi Cross's her arms over her chest clearly annoyed by him]

Machi: Anyway I'm gonna go.

Hisoka: Where you going dear?~

Machi: to rest..and stop calling me "Dear"

Hisoka: Aww but I like to call you that it's cute~

Machi: you make it sound like we're a married couple...uhh..

Hisoka: but Machi~ Someday we might just be~

Machi: yeah in your dreams..

Hisoka: Oh but Machi we might already have a kid how far off is marriage~

Machi: Just shut it! I'm taking one thing at a time so shut the Hell up!

Hisoka: Ok fine -_-....

Machi: ok I'm gonna go talk to Dancho....

Hisoka: ok good luck dear~

[And with that she gave him a dirty look and walked off]

HISOKA POV: Hmmm maybe my fight with Chrollo can wait a little longer~ I'd like to see how this goes~ I never planned for a child~

{To be continued🌷}

...†....†....†....†....†....†....†....†....†....†....†....†....†....†....†....†....†....†....†....†...

A/N I tired remember this is cringe & OOC sorry 😭💖 I know it took awhile✨🌸 please forgive me!🌹

[the-crow-binary]

Im quite curious about your opinion on the portrayal of the french revolution; I know it was a super complicated political moment with multiple fronts from the commoners wanting better life conditions, the bourgeoisie wanting to get the nobility out of the way (which it's part as to why it cant be directly translated into 21'st century american capitalism analogy 🙄), how multiple nobles supported the revolution for moral values despite going against their families interests (bc social class influences but doesnt instantly determines your morals) and that many revolutionary groups supported the independence of Haití (heck, many members of my countries independence participated and almost got beheaded in the resulting mess. And ad hundred and something years later France would try to invade us lol). What im trying to say behind my ramble here (sorry for that lol) its that im sure nfcv made it a slavery bad black ppl vs white ppl american dilemma without getting into the complexity of it and i say this as a foreigner with basic history knowledge, so i do wanna see your take on it

Which portrayal of the French Revolution? 🙃

I swear this very important Historical event that affected not just France but all of continental Europe and is considered as one of the world's biggest events was just used as background for the characters to fight and be racist. The characters keep throwing around the word "revolution" from all sides, but we don't see shit. Maria gives context in the first episode (there's a revolution, they overthrown the monarchy and declared a republic, they arrested the king...), talking to a group of revolutionaries, and from then on the story could've literally taken place in an imaginary country with imaginary politics it would've been the same.

Oh, what am I saying, there IS one thing. Our motto. 🙃"Liberty, equality, fraternity" 🙃 Yeah it has been thrown here and there... Except that it wasn't our official motto yet. We had the notion of liberty and equality, sometimes fraternity, and it was in the middle of other words such as "friendship", "sincerity", "charity" and "union". There is some people and even some books who used this motto but it was abandoned then taken back later... Just this is a mess lmao but the point is. I cringed everytime the characters screamed "Liberty! Equality! Fraternity!". And while we're on the subject, Richter, at some point, meets three girls during a festival (I suspect one of the girls to be Marianne, who wasn't a real person but the symbol of Liberty) talking about dressing up as Liberty and Equality and Fraternity. And Richter, thinking he is so smart, say that you need to be a man to dress up as Fraternity, because it means "brotherhood" (and the girls go "sisternity then" and don't correct him). Oh, and the writers clearly thought it was very clever too, since later on Annette's teacher (and even the Messiah I think??) will ALSO talk about the motto, saying "liberty, equality, brotherhood". IT DOESN'T MEAN "BROTHERHOOD". I MEAN IT CAN. BUT IN THIS CASE IT MEANS "FRATERNITY". IT'S A TERM TO TALK ABOUT A BOND EXISTING BETWEEN PEOPLE CONSIDERED AS MEMBERS OF THE HUMAN FAMILY. AKA IT CONCERNS EVERYONE. YOU ARE NOT CLEVER, AMERICAN WRITERS.

Also I thought a fucking festival at a time like that where people dress up at the concepts of our not-exactly-official-motto-yet was stupid, and it is. There was no such festival, however, we did have the "cult of the reason". To put it simply: it was a serie of events and civic holidays wich were organized by a group of atheists. In it there WAS an event called "Fete of the Reason"... Where one ACTOR dressed up as Liberty. It was NOT multiple people representing liberty, equality or fraternity.

The fun fact is, the French Revolution was a pretty good occasion for NFCV to promote it's CHURCH BAD mentality. We were taking away the church's power, more people became atheists, anti-christian vandalism and blasphemy was actually encouraged, it was a mess. Paris even ordered to shut down churches at some point, wich did not happen in the end. So yeah, this precise moment, right before the Vendée War, was perfect for the church-haters those writers are. And it ended up just being as bad as the original show, without any nuance... Ok there might be a little bit of nuance because of Mizrak, a guy who served the church and in the end actually team up with Richter and the gang, and it looks like he's there to stay. Emmanuel (the abbott) tries to be complex, but in the end, he is still a God-obsessed man that makes terrible decisions and is not a good representation for the church. So okay, it might be a BIT better than the original show thanks to Mizrak, but it's not saying much.

Another thing. Only the main characters are shown to have a dislike for the church. We don't see ANY of the french people doing anything against the church (but we do hear the church complaining about the revolutionaries, tell don't show y'know), not even talk about it. It's mostly jokes about how haha priests are sexual predators/they can't keep it in their pants (with the occasional "it exploits the people and take their money" line, and by occasionnal I mean once). There IS a few shades thrown at God here and there, honestly I didn't bother remembering the exact lines because they are so cliché and really not that deep. I think Maria is the one complaining the most.

What angers me the most is the lack of ANY ACTION FROM THE FRENCH PEOPLE. It's like nothing is actually happening except vampire killing people and vampire hunting (wich begs the question: WHY bother making it happen during the FRENCH REVOLUTION?). Nocturne literally made the french people the side (oh what am I saying, the BACKGROUND) characters in their OWN REVOLUTION. AND ALL I HAVE TO SAY IS. WHAT THE FUCK. Maria is supposed to be a revolutionary leader but she doesn't lead anyone. We never see anyone do anything outside of the main characters. The french are literal planks, except from those three girls from the festival and villains, they don't even have a voice. At some point the vampire Messiah arrives in town, in plain view, and people are like "OUR SAVIOR IS HERE! OUR DELIVERER!" and I thought the people shouting were vampires, but no, there is humans TOO. ALL TOGETHER. And you have no idea how much I hate that they basically portray the french people as not doing shit and needing someone else to save them 🙃 To do things for them 🙃 And also. That that someone else is not even french themself. 🙃 Even without the Messiah... the revolutionaries we saw were led by Richter (romanian/american/british idk at this point), Annette (Haitian, even if Saint-Domingue was owned by France at the time), Tera (Russian) and, of course, Maria, who's both Russian and French, at least. Those four were doing most of the work while the french people were in their houses cooking baguettes, I guess. And by "work" I mean fighting vampires and night creatures, there was nothing done about the Revolution. Almost like there is NO REASON TO MAKE A CV SHOW ABOUT THE FRENCH REVOLUTION

Oh and I just HAVE to talk to you about Saint-Domingue, and the BLACK PEOPLE ARE OPPRESSED theme going on with Annette. And that's when I'll have to take out this magnificent dialogue again:

"Even these french with their high ideas, what do they know about we've suffered? And what do they care? They're building new world, but it won't be freedom, or equality or brotherhood for US"

This is said by Annette's teacher. Worth to note that before that, in episode 3, she also shat on the French revolution and our motto. Basically, the show portray the French Revolution as being one thing and the slaves in Saint-Domingue having their own other revolution. And not just that, it implies that the French did not care about slaves, and that they do not know what suffering is (yeah, people just start revolutions because they feel like it y'know 🙃). And the anti-white dialogues are portrayed as normal and are even applauded, btw. And it is BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUULLSHIT. MY FUCKING GOD. OH THIS SHOW MAKE ME SO ANGRY.

First off: Only the colonies were pro-slavery. The french pretty much weren't. A "Society of friends of black people" was even created in France in 1788 to fight for the abolition of slavery. People fought for black people's rights during the French Revolution. Books written by black people to join the fight came out. The French Revolution scared the colonies who were very against losing their slaves and it led to Haiti's own revolution (slaves rebelling, killing their owners, burning the plantations... Nocturne at least got that part right). So both revolutions are very closely linked and the slaves might not have rebelled at this point if it wasn't for the French Revolution threatening Saint-Domingue's economics and creating social upheavals.

And what does those shitty american writers remember? BLACK PEOPLE OPPRESSED. BLACK PEOPLE SUFFERED SO MUCH MORE THAN EVERYONE ELSE. LOOK AT THESE POOR BLACK PEOPLE. WHITE PEOPLE ARE SO POWERFUL. THE FRENCH ARE UNGRATEFUL ACTUALLY. BLACK CHARACTER IS RIGHT TO SHIT ON THE WHITE FRENCH WHO DON'T CARE ABOUT THEM.

FUCK.

Oh, and I mentioned the Vendée War earlier... So, fun fact, during the revolution, we have what we call "la Terreur". It's a pretty gruesome period of time during the Revolution that caused the death of hundreds of thousands of people. La Terreur happened from 1793 to 1794. So one year after this first season of Nocturne. 🙃 I'm just saying. It wouldn't surprise me if they used this for season 2. 🙃(I literally do not trust them)

And the vampires... Look the vampires have their own can of worms that I'm not motivated enough to open. I'll just say that, of course, in classic NFCV fashion, the message the show is trying to pass is not subtle at all. They're just evil. All of them. All of the french nobles. Evil evil EVIL EVIL!! NUANCE AND COMPLEXITY ARE FOR PUSSIES.

Also the count of Vaublanc? Annette's ex-owner? This guy existed. And he never owned slaves. He was pretty pro-royalty, at some point he voted against slavery, then later voted in favor of it... but he did not own slaves. But honestly I don't care about that guy much, I just wanted to show that NFCV really doesn't care about nuance. Everything has to be black or white (lol) and that's why we have no human nobility in Nocturne.

Urgh. UUUUUURGH. I SWEAR WATCHING THIS SHOW WAS A PAIN AND THE MORE I THINK ABOUT IT THE MORE PAINFUL IT BECOMES. THERE IS SO MUCH GOING ON IN THE FRENCH REVOLUTION AND NFCV IS DOING JACKSHIT WITH IT. I MEAN IT'S SO MUCH FUNNIER TO SHIT ON THE BELMONT CLAN AND SHOW TIDDIES TO MAKE THE FANS HORNY.

So, my opinion on the portrayal of the French Revolution: CREATE YOUR OWN FICTIONAL REVOLUTION NEXT TIME AND LEAVE THE HISTORY OF MY COUNTRY ALONE.

[augustinapril]

Jk jk!!! Can I request dad!steve teaching reader how to play baseball?? Incorporating the coach!steve that u were obsessed with a while back 🤭

this isn't the best and it makes me sad </3 I didn't know where to go with it. :((

wc: 615

warnings: clumsy!reader so mentions of bruises on readers legs due to said clumsiness, an probably inaccurate explanation of baseball

⋆ ☄︎. 

Sam, the sweetest little boy in the world, knew exactly how to compel you into doing what he wanted. You weren’t sure if he was conscious of how impossible it was to say no when he gave what you called his puppy eyes.

His incredible persuasiveness, whether intentional or not, is exactly what lead you here; converse dusted with dirt, Steve at your side, his voice in your ear as he informed you of what to do, and Sam sitting crisscrossed in the grass a few feet away.

You were starting to think this was a mistake, slightly embarrassed with yourself. You didn’t like the thought of messing up in front of either of them.

“You have to make sure you’re standing right,” Steve said, like it was something you knew how to do without anxiety nipping at your heals.

How do you know you’re standing right? 

“It’s a lot easier than it sounds, sweetheart. All you have to do is turn yourself, yeah like that, and make sure your legs aren’t super close together.” He fixed your stance, his hands warm against your hips as he directed you in the direction you needed to be. 

“So, I just hit the ball and make a run for it?” 

Steve chuckled, and you could feel yourself heat up. “I wish it was that simple. My job as a coach would be much easier than it is. There is more to it than that.”

“Well, what exactly is the point of the game?” You asked then cringed at how condescending you probably sounded, jumping to fix yourself. “Or what’s the goal of the game?"

Steve immediately jumped into an explanation, telling you about how both teams compete to get more points each run than the other.

There was a total of 9 innings, two halves to each one where the teams would switch places, and went through the bare-basic steps of what the teams do during those innings.

It was a little confusing, but you think you understood most of it. You hoped you did, at least.

“I’m not so sure i’d fair well in an actual game of baseball," you told him honestly. "I wouldn't be able to run to a base without tripping over my feet."  There was a few more reasons, but this was the main one. The bruises scattered on your legs would be evidence of it.

“You are a bit of a clutz,” Steve light heartedly teased. He’d witnessed some of the many times you’ve accidentally walked into the corners of tables, your bed frame, and the counters of your small kitchen.

He’s contemplated baby proofing your apartment to reduce the amount of bruises you get each month, and he’s jokingly brought it up to you a time or two, though he wasn’t sure he meant it entirely as a joke. 

"You're not supposed to agree with me," You feigned being offended. He just smiled and kissed your temple.

"You know I love your clumsiness."

Sam jumped in, "I don't. Y/n gets hurt too much."

You turned to Steve, patting his shoulder. "Seems like you're the only one who enjoys it. Do you have a thing for seeing me walk into corners?"

Steve shoots his head, denying your statement. "What? No of course not. It's just a little funny, is all."

You gasped. "I cant believe you'd enjoy me getting hurt so much," You turned to Sam, gesturing your head in Steve's direction. "You hearing this, Sam?"

"Daddy's weird."

You gave the biggest smile, nodding in agreement. "He's very weird."

"Hey! I'm trying to teach you baseball and this is how you treat me?" You only shrugged in response, making Steve scoff. "Unbelievable."

⋆ ☄︎. 

reblogs > likes <3

[robinreflects]

Hi, I want to ask you what are your thoughts on the "mentor/mother figure" tropes that surround Eda and how the show handled them, because to me it fell flat. Sure, Eda does count as a mother figure to Luz and King, and my disinterest in this found family, could be writen off as just that - me being disinterested in them.

I have a small gripe with how the show calls the tropes Eda has in the story itself by the characters naming them, that I get the feeling the writers are telling me how to view Eda and to love her character.

And this more fandom related, but am I the only one who doesn't get the whole "Eda is a Mama Bird" thing? Because outside of Luz and King, the only child she has this mentor/parental dynamic with would be Edred.

She doesn't have many moments with Willow and Gus, even back in season 1. I would say, Willow and Gus have more of that "parent/child" dynamic with Camila.

Eda and Amity do go on a dventure together for the Titans Blood, but nothing about their dynamic screamed "parent & child". The same goes for Hunter, but I will acknowledge that their lack of interactions is because of the cut on season 3.

I know my criticism mostly stems from me not clicking with Eda's character like many fans of the show do, so my view on Eda will differ from theirs.

First off, I totally get not clicking with Eda as a character, even if I liked her. I also know most of my liking of the character actually comes from Wendie Malick's performance, I think she did a splendid job, especially in the more emotional scenes (like the fight scenes in s1 with Lilith). I also knew her as Beatrice Horseman before I watched The Owl House, so seeing her play a good mother figure was very engaging to me. 

THAT BEING SAID, the moment when Luz and Eda’s relationship didn't feel as special to me was when the show was trying to portray Eda in a motherly way with any other kid. I don’t mean just the main team, I mean, if there was a child character, they’d find a way for Eda to mother them. I think this started in season 2 when the show already had a decent-sized fanbase and was making their own interpretations and headcanons for Eda. Mainly the one you mentioned, her being a “mama bird”. Multiple (even background) characters call her “Mama Eda”, which seemed like excessive fan service. Many things like that were done in excess or amped up because the show's fans were responding to it well and a lot of those amped-up/excessive moments felt out of character for Eda. She didn’t even want to take care of Luz in the beginning, that alone would be enough for me to believe she wouldn’t be willing to adopt everything that lives and breathes. 

Willow and Gus definitely have more of a "parent-child" dynamic with Camila, which I think was very nicely done, same with Hunter. I see him having more of a "mother-son" dynamic with Camilla than Eda. The season 3 being cut short is an argument I see a lot, however, if they managed to create this dynamic between Willow/Gus/Hunter and Camilla within the first episode of season 3, I don't see how them not doing that with Eda can be attributed to the shortening, precisely because they had either 2 or 1 season (Hunter I believe met Eda in season 2) to write this dynamic, unlike with Camilla who only became an interactable character with the main cast in season 3, while Eda was there from the beginning.

The "self-aware", breaking the fourth wall-esque humor you mentioned, is one of my biggest pet peeves with the show. Pointing out tropes in the most fandom way imaginable will never fail to make me cringe. Show, don't tell is one of the most basic, easiest ways to make a story interesting, and somehow, for the sake of "incorrect quotes" type of humor, they keep failing at it. A few quotes that instantly come to mind are the "cool aunt vibe" from Collector and "What are those stupid kids doing? Wait, those are MY stupid kids" said Eda herself. Most of the characters are written very quirky, almost falling into the MPDG territory. Often reducing them to one character trait for the sake of, as I said before cheap jokes.

I also have an issue with Luz and Eda’s narratives, in that the writers can’t seem to decide if Eda is the character Luz relates to or Camila is. Camila’s speech about understanding Luz in season 3 felt very haphazard because we’ve spent 2 seasons of Eda and Luz’s narratives paralleling each other in the points Camilla is bringing up. Being unaccepted, feeling isolated, having no one understand them, being seen as dangerous at times, messing up all the time, and not liking conventionality. These points are a big part of Luz and Eda’s characters and are parallels to each other. Camila’s speech would’ve been so impactful, if it was Eda instead, not only because of the fact their stories parallel each other (and this scene was exactly what their storyline was going towards) but also because of the fact that we know Luz looks up to Eda, seeing her as weirdly perfect, exonerating her at times even. Luz, not seeing Eda for who she really is, realizes they are much more alike after the speech, and that Eda understands her.

Thank you so much for the ask! I love talking about this! So if you want to hear my thoughts on anything else, just shoot me an ask! <3 I also just woke up so this might be a little over the place and I apologize for that.

[stars-tonight]

hi, saw you were doing match ups and wanted to join!! long and romantic please. i use she/her and would love a boy match!

i’m tall (5’10” on a bad day), long wavy/curly ginger hair, freckles and i’m my friends’ “scary dog privilege” on a night out. i’m told i sit between doberman and black cat energy haha. i’ve also been told my care bear is grumpy bear, but i do have a silly side and will often show that with my loved ones. i 100% am a certified yapper though so can and will yap about everything and nothing (imagining in hq context just tossing balls to one of the boys in full yap mode and he’s just like “mhmm, yep, no way she said that, mhmm” lmao). I’m INFT-J.

my ideal partner would be someone who can match my energy either way, someone i can sit at a party with and judge everyone/ gossip over my drink but then do silly karaoke/re-enactments of drama with at the end of the evening over yum food. also i like a schedule, my life is planned through spreadsheets so need someone to match my organisation and be able to sit and plan each month.

hobbies wise i read, i used to do musical theatre and i cook. i do yoga and i collect teas (loose leaf, matchas etc.). i also come from a medical family so my medication cabinet is truly stacked and my friends text me for advice all the time, very much the doctor friend.

love languages, i am big on acts of service/gift giving, i love to cook for my loved ones and i’ll constantly buy little things that remind me of my friends to give to them or lending out books etc. as far as what i would look for i’m not really fussy? pda lowkey makes me cringe (handholding/ holding pinky fingers? ankles hooked around each other? LOVE. also like forehead/cheek kisses but couples that fully make out in public no thanks) so maybe not physical affection, but quality time and words of affirmation probably stand out the most.

let me know if you’d like anything else from me!!

headcanons

🥛 oikawa is probably the biggest gossiper in the whole series

🥛 like nobody really strikes me as a gossiper

🥛 but if there was one

🥛 IT WOULD BE OIKAWA

🥛 but he's also the one on karaoke night to be singing into the microphone like he's drunk

🥛 and everyone else (*the aoba johsai team) is just sitting on the couch looking at each other like "alright who spiked his drink? no that's just him?"

🥛 he likes how in control of your life you are

🥛 he can sometimes get carried away when thinking about volleyball

🥛 ("if you can't see the opponent standing in front of you then you can't defeat the one that lays beyond" -- king iwaizumi)

🥛 so he admires how grounded you are

🥛 will go to you for advice on what to do about injuries

🥛 i think he wears a knee brace but i believe he also had an ankle injury

🥛 will sometimes overexaggerate his pain just to see you take care of him

🥛 acts of service as a giving love language -> spoiled oikawa

🥛 loves it when you cook for him

🥛 if you get him something, he'll take it with him when he travels for tournaments

🥛 will call iwaizumi and laugh at him for not having someone to give him presents or cook for him

🥛 iwaizumi threatens to tell you an embarrassing story of oikawa's

🥛 that shuts him up quickly

🥛 in my mind, oikawa had so many fans, even in high school

🥛 so he'll probably want to keep his dating life private

🥛 meaning he's probably not big on pda

🥛 either this or he'll do the most embarrassing stuff in public

🥛 also he's used to "scary dog privilege"

🥛 (*cough iwaizumi*)

🥛 (i think you're literally the same height as iwaizumi too lol)

🥛 and will just stare at you when you go on rants with stars in his eyes

🥛 he genuinely thinks you're so beautiful

🥛 i feel like oikawa wouldn't hesitate to praise you

🥛 he sweet-talks enough for his fans lol

🥛 almost everything he says has a teasing tone to it

🥛 but sometimes he'll get vulnerable

🥛 usually late at night over the phone or if you're together in bed

🥛 and even though he's busy he'll always make time for you

🥛 if you don't live with him post-timeskip because of his games, he'll call or FaceTime you every night and complain about not being able to hold you

🥛 is the type to dramatically fall into your arms at the airport after some time away from each other

runner up for you was hinata shōyō!

A/N: there you go! i hope you liked it :) oikawa is probably my favorite haikyū!! character and one of my favorite fictional people of all time. he's such a comfort character and i relate to him so much ;-;

[gnabnahc317cb97]

Flowers

Jeongin x Thick female reader

Word count: 4.2K

Synopsis: An unexpected visitor from your past knocking at your door holding flowers shouldn't be as terrifying as it is for you.

Warnings: 18+ ONLY MDNI! Cursing/strong language, domestic abuse is a big part of this story (if that can be triggering please skip this one), mentions of verbal, emotional, and physical abuse (not Jeongin, an ex), gas lighting, violence/death threats/threats of bodily harm (stabbing, again if ANY of this is triggering I understand you passing on this one!), unprotected piv sex (please use condoms!), cream pie, pet names (jagi, angel, beautiful etc.) I think that's everything but if I missed something (which I sincerely hope I did not) please let me know and I will add it IMMEDIATELY!

You were finishing the last of your dinner dishes when there was a knock at your door. It was strange, you weren’t expecting anyone but that didn’t mean one of your boyfriend’s seven best friends didn’t just swing by while in the neighborhood. You started to dry off your hands when Jeongin called to you from the back of the apartment you shared. 

“Baby can you get that? I’m already naked about to get in the shower!” You made your way through the living room towards the door. 

“Yea I’ll get it Innie! You know it’s, at minimum, one of the guys so try not to take your hour shower please. I can only entertain them so long before they get bored and start causing trouble.” You could hear Jeongin laughing as the shower started, very familiar with his friends’ antics. You were rolling your eyes laughing when you answered the door, expecting two or more boisterous men. 

“If you can’t behav-” You looked up and choked on your words. Your eyes were wide and your heart started racing, you felt like you might throw up. So many memories and feelings came rushing back to you, things you wanted to forget. The very last person you expected to find knocking on your door at that time of night was your abusive ex-boyfriend Casey, flowers in hand. Your hands were shaking, and so was your voice.   

“W-what the fuck are you doing here?!” You were absolutely terrified but did your best not to sound it. How had he even found you? Casey rolled his eyes. 

“Geeze it’s nice to see you to y/n.” You had to have had the biggest ‘what the fuck’ look on your face. 

“NICE?! Seeing you is nice Casey?! I shouldn’t be seeing you at all, you’re not supposed to have my address, or have you forgotten about the protective order?!” He shook his head putting his free hand up trying to calm you down. 

“That thing expired six months ago baby.” You cringed and closed your eyes cursing yourself for forgetting about the court date to extend the order. 

“DON’T call me baby. I am not your baby.” He ignored your indignant tone. 

“It took me a while to find you but I finally did!” He held out the flowers that were in his other hand. 

“What. Are. You doing here?” You asked again looking down at the flowers in his hand and then back at him, refusing to take them 

“I’m here to say I’m sorry baby and to beg you to take me back.” He made a face, that face, the one he’d give you when he knew you were going to forgive whatever horrible thing he’d done to you. 

“I told you not to call me that.” You pointed at the bouquet in his hand. 

“Flowers? Very typical for you. You always used flowers for big apologies thinking it fixed the problem.” He put his arm down. 

“I know you’re mad...” You scoffed. 

“Mad? Casey there is a spectrum of feelings I’m having right now and mad is just one of them. Why the hell would I take you back after everything you did to me?!” He gave you a little half smile and tried to grab your hand to hold. You yanked it back quickly looking at him like he was insane, because he was. 

“Not all of it was bad. We were gonna get married one day.” You shook your head. 

“No you introduced me to your family saying that you’d marry me and then you’d look at me and say it was just a joke. I would get so excited hoping one day you would mean it but you only made me make a fool of myself.” He took a step closer to you and you took one back, still blocking your doorway. 

“Ba-” You glared. 

“y/n... Come on. Neither one of us were perfect.” You shook your head. 

“You wanted perfect, thin, blonde, submissive. I couldn’t give you perfect no matter how hard I tried, no matter the trips to the salon, the diets, the gym memberships, I tried to give you what you wanted and couldn’t and so you took it out on me any way you could. I hated myself for a long time for justifying your mistakes. Maybe I was holding on to what I thought you were, but when you think too hard eventually it starts to hurt. Now I know the version in my head wasn’t true. It took a minute but I learned that shit the hard way by having my heart broken again and again by you.” He started to get more frustrated with you. 

“You left me! You can’t be heartbroken if you’re the one that left!” You looked at him incredulously. 

“Who are you to tell me I can’t be heartbroken?! So much came before me leaving Casey, you had the chance, the door for you was wide open for a long time. You gaslit me, cheated on me blaming it on my weight, you called me horrible names, you verbally, emotionally, and physically abused me! Any of this ringing a bell Casey?!” He shook his head no disagreeing. 

“No no no you would start a fight and then you’d get all teary eyed when I fought back and I’d get so fucking angry...” You put your hand up stopping him, he was getting more and more worked up and he was starting to scare you.  

“Stop please. Expressing my feelings is not ‘starting a fight’. I should have been more conscious of how you spoke to me, if there’s anything I learned it’s to watch myself and if something’s hurting me to leave and go and get some help. I should have done it so much sooner than I did but young people fall for the wrong people and I guess my one was you.” Jeongin startled you when he walked up behind you suddenly. He kissed the side of your head and wrapped his arm around you. He was still a little flushed and damp from the shower, wearing only his gray sweats since the two of you were going to bed soon. Casey’s eyes narrowed and he glared at Jeongin. 

“Hey jagiya, who’s this?” Jeongin asked. 

“Her boyfriend!” Casey blurted out before you could answer. Jeongin’s brows furrowed. 

“What?” You chimed in quickly. 

“EX! Boyfriend.” Jeongin suddenly realized just who he was. You’d told him about your abusive ex before you moved in together, so that he knew what he was getting himself into with you. 

“Don’t you have a restraining order on him?!” You shook your head. 

“I missed a court date so they didn’t extend it.” Casey was nodding. 

“Yea we’re working on things...” Jeongin got in front of you slightly. This guy was clearly out of his god damn mind. 

“If that’s what you have to tell yourself to sleep at night, go ahead and pretend I haven’t found a man that treats me right.” Finally Casey had enough and blew up. 

“YOU STUPID FAT BITCH! YOU NEED ME! YOUR NOTHING WITHOUT ME! A COW! A GIGANTIC! FAT! WHORE!” He didn’t make a move towards you, he wouldn’t dare with Jeongin standing there so he screamed insults and profanity at you as loud as he could. Jeongin held out his arm guiding you to take a couple steps back and he stepped out of the door frame and closed it, immediately locking it. Casey started beating against it with his fists hard. 

“FUCKING WHORE, DUMB FAT CUNT, I’M GONNA BREAK THIS DOOR DOWN AND BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU! I’LL FUCKING KILL YOU!” Your eyes were wide and you were trembling, terrified just like it had always been when you were with him. 

“Go sit on the couch jagiya I’m gonna call the cops.” You shook your head frantically, gripping Jeongin tightly. 

“Please! Don’t make me go! I want to stay near you! I’m scared Innie!” Jeongin wrapped his arms around you, hugging you. 

“Shhh... it’s okay jagi you can stay, stay right here okay? You’re safe, I’m gonna keep you safe I promise!” Casey was still losing his mind on the other side of the door and it sounded like he was going to break it down. 

“DUMB FAT SLUT! I'M GONNA KILL YOU! I'LL KILL YOU!” He kicked at the door making it shake even more aggressively making you jump in fear with every hit. Jeongin was already on the phone with emergency services explaining what was going on. 

“I’M GONNA GET IN THERE JUST YOU WAIT! I'M GONNA COME IN THERE BABY AND I’M GONNA KILL YOU RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOUR NEW LITTLE BOYFRIEND!” Suddenly you and Jeongin saw the blade of a knife through the gap in the door as he tried to unlatch the lock with it. 

“Yeah!? Can they hurry the fuck up please he’s fucking nuts and he has a knife.” Jeongin told the dispatcher. The blade disappeared and then you heard metal hitting your door, over and over while he still screamed. 

“I’M GONNA STAB YOU BITCH! CUT YOUR FAT ASS OPEN! FUCKING! KILL! YOU!” The ding of the elevator signaled someone stopping on your floor. It got deathly quiet and then you heard low voices. 

“Oh hi officer!” The cop looked at your door and the man with the knife in his hand. 

“Drop the knife now!” The officer had his hand on his holstered gun. Casey dropped the knife immediately. The cop walked over kicking it further away. 

“Your ID.” Casey pulled out his wallet and handed his driver’s license to the cop who looked it over. 

“Mr... Jones we’re here because we got a call about a man brandishing a knife making death threats to the couple in this apartment. 

“Threats? Oh no sir, I just got locked out of my girlfriend’s apartment and I'm trying to get back in.” The cop was not buying it, even the worst detective could tell something here was very wrong. 

“You planning on stabbing through the door to get in Mr. Jones?” Casey looked at the knife on the floor. 

“Oh that? I was cooking dinner when I got locked out.” The cop nodded and hummed. 

“Mmhm I’m sure you were. If you don’t mind, I’d like you to step over to the end of the hall with my partner for a moment while I speak to whomever is in the apartment.” Casey did as the officer asked and then turned back quickly. 

“We were having a bit of a fight so she’s probably mad at me...” The cop nodded. 

“Over with my partner Mr. Jones” He listened and went over by the officer’s partner. The cop that had initially been questioning Casey knocked on your apartment door. 

“This is officer Roe I’m here with my partner officer Wade, we were called about a man with a knife making death threats. If you could, will you please open the door so that I can speak with you?” You and Jeongin were on the other side of the door, you were shaking like a leaf.  

“Is he away from the door?” Jeongin asked not willing to take even the slightest chance of you getting hurt. 

  “Yes sir he’s being detained by my partner up the hall a ways. The knife has been dropped. It’s safe, I assure you.” When Jeongin heard the knife was down he unlocked and opened the door. When he did you gasped and started tearing up.  

The flowers Casey had brought as an ‘I’m sorry’ looked like they’d exploded, flower petals and broken stems littering the floor. While that was alarming, seeing the door was outright terrifying. Big gash marks from the knife being stabbed into the door repeatedly. You shuddered and Jeongin wrapped his arms around you trying to comfort you, trying to make sure you knew you were safe, that he’d do anything to keep you safe. The officer questioned you both together not wanting to further your distress by separating you from Jeongin. You did all the talking anyway. You explained to the officer about Casey and his abusive past, the protective order that ended. The further into the story you got the more worked up you were. 

“And and and then he started screaming, just screaming horrible things at the top of his lungs and and he he s-sa-said he was g-gonna kill me he’s gonna kill me!” You started to hyperventilate, sobbing. 

“Jagiya look at me yea? Look in my eyes. I’m not letting anything happen to you. Slow deep breaths come on count it out to ground yourself jagi. One...two...three...” You had delt with a lot of shit and Jeongin was always there to help you through. He started taking slow breaths in and out while he counted with you. Your breathing returned to normal and you were able to finish answering the rest of the police officer’s questions. 

“Thank you Ms. Y/l/n. Mr. Jones will be placed under arrest tonight for attempted assault with a deadly weapon, and a slew of other things. We’ll definitely be in contact with you to make sure your testimony is on the record. Mr. Yang, Ms. y/l/n, I hope you can try and enjoy the rest of your evening.” Jeongin held out his hand and the officer shook it. 

“Thank you sir, we’ll sleep better tonight knowing he’ll be in jail.” The officer nodded and headed down the hall towards his partner and Casey. 

“Mr. Jones do you have any other weapons, drugs, or anything else on you?” Casey shook his head no. 

“Turn around and put you hands behind your back...” When he realized he was getting arrested he exploded all over again. Like a switch being flipped. He had been calm as can be two seconds before. 

“YOU DUMB FUCKING COW! WHAT DID YOU SAY?! WHAT DID YOU TELL THEM? YOU STUPID FAT WHO-” Jeongin shut the door and locked it stifling the screaming. Once the police and Casey were in the elevator everything was quiet again. You stood there across from the front door gob smacked, Jeongin leaned against the door trying to will his heart to slow down, the adrenaline dissipating. He looked up at you standing there shivering as if you were standing in the snow. When your eyes met Jeongin’s you burst out into tears. He quickly took you into his arms and held you while you sobbed. Once you were calmer, only sniffling and hiccupping a little, Jeongin softly spoke. 

“Let’s get you in the shower and into bed jagiya.” You nodded against his chest. Jeongin led you to the bathroom and started running the shower for you. 

“Come here angel.” You walked over and Jeongin started to pull the hem of your shirt up and off you. He kissed your cheek as soon as you were freed from the fabric. He gave you a tight hug and then unhooked your bra tossing it aside with your shirt. Jeongin unbuttoned your jeans and drug the zipper down. He pushed your pants and underwear down to your knees. 

“Have a seat on the edge of the tub for me jagi.” You sat down and Jeongin lifted one leg pulling the pant leg off, gently setting it back down, then grabbed your other leg completely removing your jeans and panties. He helped you to stand then grabbed one of your hair clips. He stood behind you and pulled your hair back into somewhat of a ponytail and twisted it up before securing your clip in your hair. When he had you all ready for your shower you turned and hugged him tightly, your soft body pressed against his. 

“I love you so much Innie.” You started to get teary again. He ran his hands up and down your back soothing you. 

“I love you too y/n, so much.” When you finally let go Jeongin pulled the shower curtain back so you could climb in. 

“I’m gonna grab your robe and a towel and I’ll be right back angel.” You started washing up as Jeongin went to grab your things. The stress and adrenaline had you stiff and sore so the hot water beating down on you felt so good, relaxing you and you started to get drowsy. Jeongin tapped on the door before coming back in so he didn’t startle you. 

“Need more time?” You hummed, so tired now. 

“Hmm-no I think I'm done Innie.” You shut off the water and opened the shower curtain to find Jeongin standing there with a big towel spread out in his arms waiting for you. 

“Come here jagiya.” You walked into his arms and he wrapped the towel around you, squeezing you and then started drying you off. When you weren’t drippy anymore Jeongin tossed the towel and picked up the robe he’d grabbed for you, helping you put it on. He gently gripped your shoulders and kissed the side of your head. 

“Let’s get to bed my love.” Jeongin led you to your room and pulled back the duvet on your bed. 

“Go on crawl in get cozy.” You gave him a weak smile, shedding your robe and climbing into bed. Jeongin pulled the comforter over you and tucked you in a little, pecking your lips. After getting you tucked in he walked around to his side of the bed dropped his sweat pants and also climbed into bed under the covers. His hands instantly found your cushy body and pulled you close to him so that he could spoon you. You felt so safe and warm now. You let out a deep breath and Jeongin squeezed you tighter. 

“Try to get some sleep now jagiya.” You nodded and could feel your eyes getting heavy quickly. 

“I love you Jeongin.” He took a deep breath in and melted into you more. 

“I love you too y/n, more than I love myself. I always will.” You turned in his arms and nuzzled up into his chest, closing your eyes and drifting off to sleep, Jeongin dozing off not long after you.

You woke up in the middle of the night with your ex’s screams echoing in your head. Jeongin had rolled over onto his other side after falling asleep, his broad back to you now. Your eyes started filling with tears. You had no control over it, the harder you tried to stop it the more they came, you just tried to keep quiet so that you didn’t wake Jeongin. As if you could control that either. You sniffled and wimpered and took a deep shuddering breath. Jeongin started to stir and turned over, squinting his sleepy fox like eyes trying to see you. 

“Jagiya? Jagi?” You couldn’t get it together enough to speak instead you choked and started bawling.  

“Hey hey! Come here my love, come here.” Jeongin pulled you close to him again, your head tucked under his chin resting against his chest. Once his strong arms were around you, your tears started to subside and then you stopped crying all together. Jeongin’s embrace, his touch was all that you needed. It was like you could feel all his love for you vibrating from his body into yours and it made you feel warm all over. You placed a chaste kiss against his chest and he took a satisfied breath, feeling your lips on his skin. You braced your hands against his torso and pressed another kiss to his chest, then another, and another as you started to travel up his neck. The breath Jeongin let out this time was deeper. 

“Jagi... we don’t have t-” You cut him off, peppering more kisses across his jaw and then you softly kissed his lips. 

“I know we don’t have to Innie, but I want to. I don’t want to feel scared anymore. I want to feel love, love me Jeongin... please.” He held your face in one hand and kissed you deeply. 

“I’ll love you y/n, I’ll love you.” Jeongin rolled over on top of you, his arms caging you in under him. He kissed your forehead, your cheek, your nose and then your lips again. Claiming them, your cupid’s bow between Jeongin’s lips. His tongue slowly slid into your mouth, teasing, tasting, in no rush. He propped himself on one hand and reached down to trace his fingers through your folds. He started slowly circling around your clit and you took in a sharp breath. He shooshed you his lips still pushed against yours. 

“Shh shh jagiya, I’ve got you.” His fingers slid back towards your entrance gathering your arousal, then rubbing your clit again, your slick precum aiding his movements. He started teasing your bundle of nerves faster and your breathing picked up as well. 

“I-Innie... feels so good... don’t stop...” He continued circling his wet fingers around your clit kissing down your neck and across your collarbone.  

“I won’t stop my love, let go for me, let me take you there...” His two fingers teased you faster rubbing back and forth and you came, softly panting out Jeongin’s name. 

“Je-Jeongin Jeongin uh uh mmm I’m coming.” Your words were whispered against his lips and he kissed you as he worked you through your orgasm. 

“Beautiful, fuck you’re so pretty when you cum for me like that. My beautiful angel.” When you could finally open your eyes again you saw Jeongin’s brown eyes staring back at you with a softness in them you’d never seen in anyone's eyes until you met him. He was propped over you on two hands again.  

You reached down between you and grabbed his cock lining it up with your wet hole and pushed his tip inside you. Jeongin let out a soft moan, then put his weight on his elbows pressing your bodies together as he pushed into your plump pussy deeper. When he bottomed out inside you his tip brushed that little spot that made your whole body buzz and you moaned his name breathless. 

“Innie... more...” He pulled out and pushed into you slow but deep. 

“You want more jagiya? Hmm?” You nodded  

“God yes, please Innie... m-more...” He pulled out and thrusted harder, just as deep then started a steady rhythm. One of his hands cupped your face and he kissed you as he kept pumping in and out, you were so wet for him, felt so good. 

“You’re taking me so well beautiful, so well, do I make you feel good jagi?” You nodded looking into his eyes as Jeongin continued to make love to you. 

“S-so s-so good Innie. Harder please fuck me harder.” Jeongin started snapping his hips into you harder, your bodies rubbing together, hands gripping, groping, massaging each other, no way to tell where one body stopped and the other started. Slow, deep and hard, that’s how Jeongin fucked you for what seemed like forever. Your orgasm crept up and washed over you like waves on the shore. 

“huhuhuJeonginahuhuh...” You were panting his name out as he kept his pace up, reaching for his orgasm and extending yours. 

“I’m gonna cum angel... fuck I’m gonna cum...” You nodded still breathless as your orgasm disappated. Jeongin pressed his forehead to yours, eyes closed tightly as he continued to thrust into you deeply. He whispered. 

“Can I cum inside you jagiya?” You nodded against his head biting your bottom lip. He forced his eyes open looking you deep in yours as his climax approached. You cupped his face and kissed him. 

“Cum inside me Jeongin. Please, please cum inside me.” His head still rested against yours both of you panting, breathing in the others moans of pleasure, sharing the same air. The strangled moan Jeongin made as he looked into your eyes and came set your body on fire. You could feel his warm seed filling you as he pumped and twitched inside your cunt refusing to close his eyes, refusing to miss a second of your gorgeous face taking his cum. 

“F-fuck fuck oh god y/n jagi... mmmm I’m coming. Do you feel me angel? Hmm? That’s my love.” Jeongin continued thrusting into you deep filling you with his cum while your pussy quivered around him at his words. He kept pumping you full. 

“I love you...” He thrusted and kissed you. 

“I love you, I love you, I love you.” Every time punctuated by another deep thrust and kiss. Jeongin laid on top of you propped up looking down at you as his cock twitched one last time and he started to go soft inside you. He laid down on you completely wrapping his arms around your thick body, resting his head on your big soft breasts. He took a deep breath as he listened to your heartbeat return to normal. You wrapped your arms around him and twirled a piece of his hair, both of you basking in the after glow of your love making.

After a bit he propped himself over you again and cupped your cheek stroking it tenderly, he leaned down and pecked your lips sweetly and then he was looking at you like that again, that soft look as he caressed your face. 

“Marry me.”  

Please do not repost or translate any of my works. My blog and stories are NSFW and 18+ ONLY! Minors, ageless, and blank blogs will be blocked!

[ruffaloon]

.

those of you who have been following me for a long time may remember that for a solid few years, i was a one direction blog. my url was liampayny. as you might guess, liam was my favorite. there are well over 300 pages worth of posts about him on this blog. they're all still there. my last post about him was two years ago.

i never expected that i would one day look back on these posts in mourning. these past few days have felt completely unreal. i don't think i'll ever be able to fully comprehend it.

in the days leading up to his passing, i recieved several notifications alerting me that liam was posting on snapchat. i ignored these notifications. the truth is that in recent years, looking at liam did nothing for me except make me sad. even before he was gone, i missed the chubby cheeks i had fallen in love with that he had permanently gotten rid of. i missed when i could engage with his posts without worrying if he was doing alright, if he was eating enough, if the rehab he was open about going through had stuck.

he wasn't doing well. and even now, i can't help but feel a kind of twisted vindication as a self-described member of the original liam payne defense squad. i was right. i always feared something like this would happen. liam was always the least favorite, always the fandom punching bag, hated back then for reasons i still to this day do not understand. after the band it only got worse. the general public latched onto him as one direction's clear loser, the biggest failure. a pathetic untalented clout chaser. i'll never forget when people scoffed at liam's claim that he was originally the leader of the group, when everyone called him a liar and a narcissist, only for him to be proven right when the footage of their creation was released. liam carried that band on his back for the first year of their existence, and no one ever acknowledged it.

i can't help but wonder if this contributed to his passing. i can't help but wonder if one direction had never come to be, if he had never gotten the fame and the spotlight he thought he wanted - if he would still be alive. he almost certainly would be. the liam that was put under immense pressure and never thanked for it, who was fed to the relentless industrial pop star machine as a literal child, struggled with substance abuse and maintaining healthy relationships. he made bad choices and hurt a lot of people. this is true. i don't deny it and i'm not defending his actions.

it's also true that the fourteen year old liam who auditioned for the x factor was none of those things. it's him that i'm mourning. who would he have grown into, if simon cowell hadn't plucked him out of the crowd? we'll never know.

it's tragic. and it makes me angry. and scared for others in the industry.

i can't imagine the kind of fucked up survivor's guilt the other boys must be going through right now. my heart breaks for louis in particular, who has already lost so many people close to him. i hope they have good support systems. i hope the women affected by liam's actions are safe and can focus on healing in peace.

i wonder if i'll ever be able to listen to one direction again. i will, i think. but it will never be the same.

i wonder if one day i'll look back on this and cringe at how melodramatic it all is.

this is a much longer post than i ever expected to write, yet i feel like i've only scratched the surface. 300 pages worth of feelings condensed into one farewell.

goodbye, liam. goodbye, the sunshine of my life.

[justmybookthots]

Chess & Mate

Okay, first of all: This isn't a bad book. I want to preface my review with that, even if 'bad' is a nebulous term. I want to make it clear that at this point, I'm absolving Ali Hazelwood of her sins with Love Hypothesis. While I hated Adam, I loved Jack from Love Theoretically, and I do like Sawyer… to a degree. I think her heroes have evolved slightly since Adam, and now they're kind of at a very acceptable Jack-Sawyer stage.

I'll elaborate on the hero part in a bit. But for now, I also want to make it clear that while I don't love this book anywhere as much as I loved Love Theoretically, I can see a lot of people loving this, and I understand. It really all boils down to personal preference. (Though that… pretty much sums up any kind of book review, so you can ignore this statement, really. But I guess what I'm trying to say is: Love Hypothesis pissed me the fuck off. Its issues were egregious to me. Chess & Mate got on my nerves a bit, but I recognise it was just due to my own weird preferences as a reader.) 

Anyway. Spoilers ahead.

Things I liked:

Sawyer. He's very similar to Jack and if that's the kind of hero Ali likes, I ain't complaining. He knows what he wants; he's mostly straightforward with his feelings and is unabashed about them. Neither is he growly or saying "babe" and all that cringe stuff. He's just… calm, same as Jack. It's very attractive. And ALSO. He is a virgin. I so, so love that? Too bad this was YA so the sex scenes were closed-door, because I felt that would have been a fun dynamic to explore in an adult book. 

I like that for once, Mallory (the heroine) is the one who sleeps around. It's all very sex-positive and I support that immensely. Also her being bi? I 100% am for it. 

I really liked Oz, for most of the book. And Dfne? I think that's how you spell her name. [But I may be wrong and I'm too lazy to check.]

I think all the loose ends were tied up rather conclusively, re: Eaton and Mallory's family.

Now…. The things I did not like. Hoo-boy.

I'm not into the Mary Sue scene. This is my biggest, biggest gripe for this book. Mallory being this good was not to my liking. She was just winning match after match even though she hadn't played in years. She felt unbeatable, and it took a lot of narrative tension out of the story for me. At some point, I was just like: Okay, I get it. You're the best. And Sawyer is also the best. You are both the best, and you two can sit above the plebs in your couple-y thrones. Reading this book felt like I was reading a power fantasy between two people, and while I get that being everyone's cup of tea, it wasn't mine. At some point, it felt like Sawyer was only ever interested in her because she could play as well as (or better than) he did. 

I wished Sawyer hadn't been interested in her from the start. It would have been fun to really lean into the 'enemies' angle for a bit and have her slowly climb her way up to face off against him later. But then again, that's asking for a major rewrite, and that's a whole can of worms I'd rather not open.

But speaking of interest, I was conflicted on the insta-love on Sawyer's part. Him showing up at her house early on in the book and eating dinner with her family was really abrupt and it took me aback. They went from almost no interaction save for her beating him at the first match and the encounter at the pool to… this? Or maybe there were more encounters that I can't recall off the top of my head now, but it just felt too soon for me.

Oh gosh. Her family. Her mom was fine, but her sisters, especially Sabrina? I was being driven nuts. When Sabrina called Mallory egotistical, I was like: wtf? Mallory was practically slaving her ass off to support her family and she made so many sacrifices for them. I get that that was the point—Mallory was clinging to martyrdom and refusing to let herself need them and it upset them. But being antagonistic to Mallory was NOT the answer. Her martyrdom stemmed from a place of self-loathing and trauma. I hated how everyone at the end of the book was yelling at Mallory to get her head out of her ass. Maybe this wake-up call works in books/fiction, or maybe it works for some people, but it's not ideal. It's callous and cruel. I approved only of how Mallory's mother handled it: she very calmly talked things out with her. 

Mallory had EVERY right to be angry with Sawyer. I hated how everyone, including Eaton, fed this narrative that Mallory was completely in the wrong for her blow-up at him and how everything he did was right for her. If a man I was developing a romantic relationship with was paying for my fellowship/my fucking SALARY all along and omitted telling me (don't give me the bullshit about "you could have just asked"—omission is still lying), I would be furious. This is crucial information that should have been voluntarily shared sooner. Even if he came from a good place, it doesn't make it okay to hide this imbalance of power from me.

I also want to say that the bad guys are cartoonishly bad. Like you know right away who the 'villain' of the book was going to be, and it felt rather juvenile how unapologetically dickish he was. There wasn't a lot of nuance to it, but eh. Whatever.

The PDA between Sawyer and Mallory (her sitting between his thighs and him… biting her earlobe? I… Okay) while they played chess with his friends was… not for me. I had the same complaint with a hauntingly similar scene in Love Theoretically. I get it: this type of thing is just not my cuppa, but Ali loves it.

All in all, while it sounds like I'm complaining a lot, I don't hate this book. I just don't really love it. Or… like it very, very much. But it had its cute moments, so it's, well, not that bad? I think?

- 13 Nov 2023